#anti remadora

[in-flvx]

That meme where two people consent, but Jesus doesn't, except it's Molly and tonks consenting for tonks and Remus to have a relationship, and it's remus who doesn't

[cubeapples]

my chronically annoyed ass comes across one of those "canon characters react to fanon ships" and one of them was tomarry and in the post, harry's like, "UM EW WTF.. blah blah" and i just got So pissed, like, just because the ship that you like is canon doesn't make you morally superior! obviously canon harry wouldn't want to get fucked by voldemort! but you do realise that talented people who make this pairing plausible with their amazing writing skills and headcanons exist, right?

and another post that was like, "i can't believe millenials get these amazing ships like jily, remadora, hinny, (continues stating het canon pairings) but gen z decided these were trash because they were fxm... and decided drarry, tomarry.. (continues stating gay pairings) etc. were better," and, like,

NO???? you just stated the most bland, boring pairings in the whole series?? it's not our fault your reading comprehension is so abysmal that you think jily, a white heterosexual couple that got married straight out of highschool is more interesting than the hot mess that is drarry/tomarry???

like, i'm not bashing you for liking canon pairings, but it is factually untrue that fanon pairings are automatically less interesting than canon pairings! that's a you problem! your statement reads like you think heterosexual pairings are better than homosexual pairings and i hope you realise that just sounds homophobic.

and also! grindeldore doesn't count! there is no canon evidence for it. jkr did say it was canon, but it... it literally wasn't in the books.

[starrylayle]

coming on here to quickly rant abt remadora. Okk yess I know ‘another wolfstar shipper shitting on remadora’ here me out okay!!! Just for a sec!! I read the Harry Potter books for the first time back in 2017 and remadora was my shit. Remus was my second favourite male character and tonks was my second fave female character. (Harry and cho were my first faves — yes I self inserted into Harry and had the biggest crush on cho — yes I cried when they broke up — shut up we all had our embarrassing phases!!)

Anyways back to remadora, I just thought they were so cute together, even tho it felt a little random. But one thing that I remember that really pissed me off was the ship name. I never understood why it was ‘remadora’ and not ‘ronks’. Tonks hated being called Dora!! I remember ranting abt this on my Wattpad acc (yes I know SHHHH) when I was reviewing all the Hp ships.

I don’t ship it anymore (obviously lol) and looking back, I think my issue with the ship name is lowkey symbolic for my key problem with remadora — it basically removes everything that made her interesting in the first place and reduced her to just Another Woman Character in the series. When she got with Remus, she became more mellow, more feminine, more complacent — which are fine traits btw — but that’s not tonks!! Now as I’m older, and re-reading the series, I see a lot of subtext for a gender non-conforming and possibly genderqueer person forced into a heterosexual relationship simply becoz jo didn’t want ppl thinking Remus was gay and coz she had this weird thing abt all ‘good’ women being mothers.

Which brings me to tonk’s pregnancy — I wouldn’t mind a storyline for tonks having a child — I just hate how jkr had to fit it into this whole nuclear family model and get her and Remus to get married. I feel like a more compelling, or at least consistent characterisation would have tonks having a one night stand with Remus after they were both mourning their cousin/uncle/lover’s death. Shit happens sometimes. And it would be interesting to see Tonks and Remus grapple with this and what it means for their child.

Another head cannon I saw on tik tok was that Tonks had a threesome with Fleur and Bill and since polyamory wasn’t socially acceptable she asked Remus to be the stand in legal father — and ofc Remus would say yes coz he’s Remus!! This hc sounded wild to me at first but they all gave me queer vibes and it just makes me happy so now this is the headcanon I stick with lol.

Anyways not every woman has to have a husband and 2-3 kids to be a good person jkr!! Families are complex! Women are complex! And Tonks deserves better imo.

P.s. if you ship remadora that’s completely okay!! This is just my opinion!! I’ve seen remadora shippers who don’t water down tonk’s character/subtextual queerness — I just hate how jkr depicted the ship in canon.

[enbysiriusblack]

i find remadora so weird for many reasons. but i do think their dynamic could potentially be interesting if it was written in a very different way. i think tonks is very similar to marlene and sirius and obviously sirius and tonks are related, and i think that could work well with the idea of them bonding. like getting close after sirius' death because tonks reminds remus of sirius and she's like getting to live the years sirius missed which could be comforting for him to see, and tonks is getting to know a family member she never really got to spend much time with through remus. i think a platonic friendship would work well between them at this time. remus might enjoy being friends with people who are around the age that his friends died- like getting to see other people in the war live longer being quite bittersweet for him. and tonks clearly gets along with older people (like her relationship with moody). i very much support them bonding and forming a friendship. do not support the weird relationship.

[soloorganaas]

me whenever someone defends remadora and/or molly weasley

[maladaptivewriting]

inside me there are two wolves. one of them hates tonks. the other one also hates tonks but doesnt want to turn the golden king into a tonks bashing fic.

[oxydiane]

it’s so funny to me how wolfstar was like, the most popular ship in the 2000s right after poa came out and the rowling bitch tried to kill it so hard she nerfed sirius and married remus off with the single most lgbt coded woman in the series. i remember reading about tonks for the first time, this shapeshifter with short pink hair and thinking oh yeah she’s a LESBIAN. and she kind of succeeded even, it quietened down for a few years but they have come back with vengeance

[iamnmbr3]

nothing against the ship but I really feel like jkr pulled lupin and tonks out of nowhere to counteract wolfstar. i mean usually the romances have at least some amount of setup a book in advance but i just read book 5 and there is NOTHING in there. not one throwaway line. really feels like it was thrown in at the last minute.

[justyourlocaldisaster]

i respect everyone's opinions on what they ship except FUCK YOU if you ship ships like remadora, snarry, tomarry, or any other romances with huge ass age gaps.

ESPECIALLY the ones with a minor and an adult. you're fucking wrong for that.

[wierdshenanigans]

I don't hate remadora because I ship wolfstar the same way you don't hate wolfstar because you ship remadora (I hope, cause-), I hate remadora because it destroyed two completely badass characters. If jk r*wling wanted an orphaned half werewolf baby so bad she could've just made a minor werewolf character who actually went WELL with tonks and wasn't like, twice her age or smth.

[arggghhhsstuff]

no because i firmly belive that if remadora wasn't canon and if a random fan decided to pull together remus lupin and sirius' 15 years younger cousin everyone would have given them a 'girl wtf' look and moved on

[starrylayle]

have you considered that maybe you projected a bunch of stuff on tonks that wasnt there and reading further into the books simply proved you wrong? (for example, the fact that you say she hates being called dora, when what she says she hates is her full name, nymphadora). not every woman has to want kids and be married, but why should tonks have been that woman when she wasnt intended to be so, your own sterotypes on her "type" of character aside? because you liked her?

ok first things first -- you're right about one thing -- Tonks wasn't written to be a queer character. Like at all. I don't think jkr intended anyone in the hp series to be queer,, not even dumbledore (that was definitely an afterthought lol). Any reading of queerness is subtextual no doubt.

That being said,, queerness in media, especially children's media, before 2010 is almost always subtextual. It is very difficult to find any canonical queer characters in 90s/2000s children's media. Queer ppl are still gonna read these books however. And a lot of us relate to a certain 'type' (as you put it) of character -- usually ones that are 'different', don't conform, etc, etc.

A lot of queer hp fans saw themselves in Remus (ostracized for his lycanthropy aids metaphor -- which is not a very well done metaphor but i digress) or Tonks, in her disregard for femininity, tomboyish ways and spunky nature.

Now the problem I have with people saying that we can't headcanon characters who have stereotypically queer traits is --- well who would u rather we headcanon as queer then? It's unrealistic that every single person in the harry potter universe is a raging cis heterosexual -- thats just not how life works lol. Sometimes people will say, 'hc some one as queer that's not a stereotype'. Ok would you rather me headcanon ron as trans? Hermione as a lesbian? because i can provide analysis' for those readings too. But then the argument would be,, 'there is nothing queer about these characters you're just making shit up'.

What I'm trying to say, is that these questions feel like a trap. If we headcanon characters who have traits that alot of queer ppl have the argument is 'you're just stereotyping!!!' If we headcanon people that have traits that aren't especially common with queer folk then the argument is that we're 'just grasping for straws'. The only correct answer in this scenario is to not headcanon anybody as queer for the sake of not hurting cishet ppl's feelings.

also i just wanna add that tonks is not the only tomboyish character in the series!! We have Ginny, the girls on the quidditch team and probably more that I'm forgetting -- plenty of str8 tomboyish characters to go around lol.

I think you'll find that queer ppl aren't as obsessed with queer headcanons as u think -- we just want representation. You'll find in a lot of fandoms that centre around queer shows like the owl house, heartstoppper, our flag means death,, people generally just accept the sexualities presented to them because there are already canonical queer characters in the show.

[mxlfoydraco]

I saw that tag and I’d love to hear your thoughts on Remadora, respectfully 👀

I can’t do it respectfully, Remadoras this is a dead dove don’t read!

It’s a miserable relationship right from the start. Remus does not want to be with Tonks, point blank. He’s a traumatized, emotionally scarred man who has lost everyone he’s ever loved. He’s not ready to be in a relationship. Tonks isn’t just younger, she hasn’t lived through a war and experienced grief like he has. She doesn’t understand him at all.

She was such a fun, spunky and warm person. What the hell happened in HBP honestly? Why is she suddenly someone who can’t take no for an answer and withering because a man doesn’t want her? Why not give Remus the space he needs and just say “I have feelings for you but I respect your decision and not losing you as a friend is more important”.

Remus cannot take himself out of this equation because he’s trying to fight a war and keep his dead bestfriends orphaned child alive. He keeps throwing himself into dangerous missions because he literally doesn’t want to commit to a relationship. Instead, Tonks, Molly and Mcgonagall corner him right after he loses the mentor who quite literally gave him a place in the magical world. They pressure Remus while he’s vulnerable and intensely distressed. Remus’ reasons might be clouded by his self-loathing but to him they’re still valid. Absolutely no one listens to or tries to understand him.

Of course he tries to fucking bail. He didn’t ask for this, he wasn’t ready and he’s freaking the fuck out! He’s stressed both about the war and his relationship. He worries about Tonks, he worries about her family, worries about Teddy. He’s miserable and Tonks sees that, is she happy? No!

Also. this whole debacle literally got them both killed. Yeah, I said it. Neither Remus nor Tonks could keep in shape or train sufficiently for the battle and would probably have survived without the relationship and baby drama.

“Remus was no longer in prime fighting condition when he rushed to join the fight. Months of inactivity, using mostly spells of concealment and protection, had blunted his duelling capabilities, and when he ran up against a dueller of Dolohov’s skill, now battle-hardened after months of killing and maiming, his reactions were too slow.” Pottermore

Also, they were thrown together because they were the queerest characters & terfling hated Wolfstar. Bleh!

[soloorganaas]

giving you two, you can do both or choose one: 1) what ship do you hate most? 2) rant about [pairing] for wolfstar - i want to hear what you don't agree with the fandom on about them

hehehehehehehehe

remadora. no explanation needed. whilst i'm here everyone who hates them too go read a grave mistake

ALRIGHT HERE WE FUCKING GO

atyd it's an incredible story, but it's not the ONLY story, and the way its characterisations have in so many fics and fanons replaced actual canon is infuriating. remus is portrayed as toxic, aggressive, manipulative and cruel; sirius is cowardly, manipulative, over-dramatic, emotionally immature and just plain stupid. this is either completely inaccurate based on the books, or an over-exaggeration of some of their canon traits. the interplay between their individual traumas is so so simplified to become two long decades of toxic miscommunication, and they're just plain mean to each other. if this was just one story, ya know, you take it or leave it like anything else. but the way these characterisations have been exaggerated or simplified even further from canon leads to characters that are literally unrecognisable. if its an AU, okay, they're always going to be different in different contexts. but if you're telling stories that are deliberately supposed to be based in canon, exploring those ideas, and then the characters are literally nothing like the books, then imo thats shitty writing. and the utter refusal of at least some fans (literally the entirety of fucking tiktok) to acknowledge this and produce better work is infuriating

so much of this fandom is mind-blowingly talented. jfc. i have improved my writing tenfold by reading wolfstar fic. so this sort of subsection irks me extra bc of that, when its ignoring the incredible work over the past two decades, and not least the amazing stories being published rn

the bimboification of sirius this is such a knock-on effect of atyd smh

sirius is dramatic as hell. my boy comes straight out of azkaban and his first instinct is to go approach harry late at night as a massive fucking black dog. he tries to kill peter by breaking into the gryffindor dorms and lunging over ron with a knife. he finds out harry's broom broke so he mail orders the most expensive broom on the market with the help of a fucking cat when he is literally a wanted criminal. he finally confronts harry by dragging his best friend through the whomping willow by a broken leg and then leans hardcore into the mass murderer vibes with slightly incoherent rants and attempts to kill a rat as his first intro to harry. he goes on the run on a famously dramatic and haughty horse/bird and spends a year in tropical islands and caves instead of just fucking apparating to his ex's house and hanging out there. his emotions go from 0-100 in 0.5 seconds and he would deck half the order if it wasn't for remus holding him back

i think its pretty safe to assume he was just as dramatic as a teen, albeit in a more cocky rich kid way than traumatised ex-convict way. i think its a fair characterisation that he would be overwhelmed by a gay life crisis and feelings for remus and handle it in a pretty dramatic way

but that doesn't mean, however, that he is (a) nothing but a drama queen and (b) a bimbo. he's dramatic, he's not stupid or shallow or whiny. he is one of the absolute smartest characters in the book, and is so committed to his principles and friends he'll literally die for them. he's incredibly competent and self-reliant, to the point of keeping himself alive for years on end in extremely harsh situations. he's generally either intensely focused on the task at hand or lost in his own head. he's not goddamn whiny, or dumb, or constantly desperate for the attention and validation of remus

remus getting irritated at sirius for being ✨too much✨ yeah honestly im gonna blame atyd for this one again but also the general ableist trait of mocking people for being A Lot when those people are most of the time neurodivergent-coded.

remus fucking adores sirius. this entire fandom is based on this premise lmao. in the books they respect each other so much - remus is the only one sirius listens to, sirius is the only one to whom remus will let his emotions show and be forthright with. remus never gets angry or annoyed with sirius just for feeling a lot - he is in fact the only person to validate him and back him up. he gets annoyed when he's being an ass

he would never be irritated at sirius for being passionate or unconstrained or letting his creativity run wild or spewing out whatever thoughts were in his mind or just being full of life and fire and enthusiasm and daring. considering the kind of person remus is and the dynamic in their relationship, those are the things he would LOVE about sirius. whilst being perfectly comfortable calling him out when they lead him to be annoying or rude or irresponsible

tl;dr sirius being extra doesn't make him the idiot butt of everyone's jokes and remus being reserved doesn't make him judgmental of sirius's larger personality

prongsfoot in wolfstar fics

james isn't just sirius's "best friend", their relationship is essential to who sirius is and the fact he can even become and emotionally open enough person to fall in love. he is just as important to sirius as remus is. i really dont think i've read many wolfstar fics (that delve deep into the characters, i dont mean fluffy/smutty oneshots etc) that show james as more than a 2D sidekick or how his friendship with sirius impacts sirius's relationship with remus. i can understand why the prongsfoot fandom gets so mad tbh lmao

[vortexbeyondthestars]

not to hate post or talk abt h@rry p*tter but can i just say that rema/dora is one of the few ships that genuinely pisses me off.

not only is it an obvious attempt by rowling to stop people from shipping remus and sirius, it also sticks two queercoded characters into a heteronormative, child rearing relationship. in fact, as soon as tonks (read: rowling) decides that she is in love with him, suddenly she becomes traditionally feminine after having somewhat been on the genderfluid spectrum in the last book.

not to mention that remus' lycanthropy is apparently meant to be allegory for aids, which is usually associated with the gay community.

he and sirius also have a close, intense relationship that the directors of the movies assumed to be romantic in nature (david thewlis was actually told to act "like a gay junkie")

of course, all of this is a big ass problem, but another problem that most people don't talk about the huge fucking age gap between them.

remus is thirteen years older than tonks. in hogwarts mystery, you meet remus as a whole adult in chiara lobosca's quest, and tonks is a main student. as in, she's a fucking student when remus has been an adult for years.

also, this is just speculation, but sirius was close to andromeda and ted, so what if remus and the murauders had actually meant baby tonks? suddenly, not so wholesome.

another problem is how ooc the ship makes both characters. a lot of people tend to say that if you have to twist both the characters to make a ship work, then it shouldnt be shipped. so how does this make them ooc?

tonks was a fun loving, spunky, and bright character in ootp. suddenly in hbp shes sullen and depressed because she loves remus but he wont get with her. yeah, people have multiple sides to them, but why is her biggest character trait suddenly being upset over a man?

meanwhile, remus in dh is just atrocious. the scene where he tries to abandon tonks and teddy is absolutely crazy and wild to me, because? he wouldnt do that.

lets not even mention how remus is pressured into the relationship after dumbledore dies. he seems completely uncomfortable and uninterested but molly tells him to not miss on this chance.

remus literally never seems like he loves tonks either, and tonks' "love" is completely forced by the author.

anyways, sorry about the rant, but i've seen some things and am pissed off.

[dakogutin]

something about how james and lily's patronus animals are complimenting each other compared to snape being the exact same with lily's. it was either like that from the start or it was a manifestation of his obsession with her.

and then thinking about how remus and sirius also have patronus animals that compliment each other from the start-- compared to t*nks whose patronus animal changed when she was "developing strong feelings for remus".