#anxious Yuuri

[themidnightguardian]

THEY CANCELLED THE YURI ON ICE MOVIE??????

[baladric]

i thank you god for most this amazing brain fog, for it is keeping me from writing yoi fic

[cuteteacakes]

As I'm going through my... what is now at now... seventh? Sixth? rewatch of Yuri On Ice while I notice a lot of similarities between me and the main character, there are two little differences. One, I don't drink. :3

(two being drunk subsequently got him the love of his life which I have yet to find but will I since I don't drink?? orz)

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

We need to talk about this

because Yuuri's reaction here is a result of his anxiety disorder and his tendency to self-deprecation and having depressive thoughts. That he ends up here is being carefully foreshadowed throughout the series:

First, Viktor said a couple of things that made Yuuri believe that Viktor only wants to coach him until the GPF:

This

and this

is enough to convince and anxious person like Yuuri that Viktor has no intention to coach him beyond the GPF. Note that Viktor never explicitly states that he will coach Yuuri only for the first half of the season - it's the natural conclusion an anxious brain will draw. And that's neither Viktor's nor Yuuri's fault.

And then this, while Yuuri is within hearing distance:

I'm getting a queasy feeling in my stomach just from watching this scene because I relate to Yuuri so much. If I had eavesdropped on this interview, I would have freaked out internally. Like what does that even mean? Is he talking about his career or is this a carefully crafted answer to convince the press to leave him and Yuuri alone for the next couple of weeks? This secret is probably between Viktor and the YOI creators alone (I have theories, but I'm not going to discuss them here because this post is about Yuuri).

Second, although he becomes more confident throughout the show, the self-deprecating part of Yuuri has a low opinion about his own skating. From his perspective, his contribution to the sport seems less valuable than Viktor's, even when he starts to understand that he's far more than a dime-a-dozen skater. The realisation that he is as least as talented as Viktor, only drives home the moment he breaks Viktor's world record.

Because Yuuri has such a low opinion of himself, he doesn't understand how much Viktor enjoys watching him skate, which is another aspect factoring into his decision.

Third, Yuuri genuinely believes that Viktor wants to return to the ice and would rejoice when Yuuri retires. Having seen Viktor watch the other skaters at the GPF cements the decision he made at the Rostelecom Cup. The fact that basically everyone has told him throughout the last 11 episodes that he's keeping Viktor from skating gives more weight to the idea.

Yes, you got that right. Yuuri deided to retire, before he proposed to Viktor and before he bought two matching rings and put one of them on Viktor's finger. However, now Yuuri knows that Viktor would coach him for as long as Yuuri wants to keep skating, which forces him to release Viktor from his duties at the point he believes Viktor wanted to stop coaching him initially.

"Let's end this" is not about breaking up. Yuuri is releasing Viktor as his coach. He is sacrificing his career so that Viktor can keep pursuing his own career which Viktor once sacrificed for him.

Of course he's surprised that Viktor bursts out in tears.

Yuuri has the right to retire whenever he wants. He doesn't need to consult Viktor. If he thinks (for whichever stupid reason) it's time, he can make this decision on his own.

Is it selfish?

Lol no. Only Viktor thinks it is because he's conflating the coach and the partner and takes it personally. He's hurt and feels rejected because he doesn't understand that Yuuri did it for him and that causes a drama Yuuri was not prepared for.

Is it stupid?

Absolutely. But poor communication skills, Yuuri is too caught up in his mental issues to even think of having a discussion that would lead them to a solution with which both would be happy (both training in St. Petersburg *wink* *wink*). It's not malice, insensitivity, or shitty behaviour that drives Yuuri to this point. It's all about his mental issues. And love.

[moonlightseve]

Yuuri’s anxiety is such a large part of the show and is frequently shown as an obstacle he must overcome, but I really appreciate that it is never shown as a barrier. Nothing is made impossible to Yuuri because of his anxiety, acting instead as an additional challenge he must address in order to get to where he wants to be. He is stronger because of it, in a lot of ways.

I hate when media infantilizes anxious people and diminishes their ability to accomplish things. Sure, it may be harder to reach your goals when you’re fending off a panic attack, but Yuuri managing it through seemingly sheer determination proves that he is anything but “mentally weak.” Watching Viktor learn how to deal with it is also very meaningful, especially again because he does not treat Yuuri as any lesser because of it.

[biceratops7]

Victor nikiforov and empathy:

Following my fifth (?) rewatch I found yet another reason to be completely in love with Yuri on Ice, and that is Victor being a wonderfully accurate and non-demonized example of someone with low empathy. Seriously as someone who’s autistic and can’t relate to the influx of “actually we’re all super in tune to other’s feelings and have the MOST empathy!”, watch these scenes because this is what it’s like.

This line at first seems to be Yakov thinking that Victor is arrogant, but Yakov knows him extremely well. He knows that Victor has a hard time viscerally placing himself in another’s shoes, and that’s a major obstacle as a coach.

Victor has trouble understanding what to do in situations that are highly emotional for Yuuri. Instead of being able to directly consider things through Yuuri’s perspective, we see him rely pretty often on environment cues, behavioral cause and affect, or straightforward commands.

He gets his habit of scolding yuri after a routine from Yakov because that’s what he’s familiar with. It’s not something Yuuri responds to particularly well, but it’s only when Victor pays attention to how others react when Yuuri finishes skating that he changes tactic. Victor sees how the crowd is going wild at the (Japan nationals) and it’s only then it occurs to him that Yuuri’s confidence may be jeopardized if he chooses that moment to criticize his performance. This is something he likely would’ve realized much sooner if he could share Yuuri’s stress easier instead of merely observing that it’s happening.

Then later on in episode 7, we get to the scene that actually inspired this post.

At first Victor approached the situation almost like an experiment, trying out cause and effect to disastrous results. When you have a much lower threshold for being able to experience another’s feelings second hand, it’s difficult not to think of other’s negative emotions simply as problems that need to be solved. Problem: Yuuri won’t perform well because he’s too anxious, he will only be MORE upset if he loses, and Victor has already tried to reduce his anxiety to no avail. Idea for solution: raise the stakes and see if increased pressure can replace his nerves with resolve, causing a good performance. Afterward, Yuuri will be proud of himself and happy again. Execute plan, observe results, adjust accordingly. When comfort doesn’t come naturally, this tends to be kind of the default. From experience it comes from a genuine place of caring even when it backfires (and it actually doesn’t at times), basically trying to actually fix the thing upsetting your loved one instead of play acting feelings you don’t get.

… however Yuuri was COMPLETELY within his rights yelling at Victor because regardless of intent he picked the worst thing on planet earth to say in that exact moment. I mean I’ve had my fair share of “oh crap someone is upset and it’s my responsibility” fails but my fuck-

He’s shown to be pretty shit at comforting Yuri/ detached emotionally from the situation, but he is neither coldly unbothered nor strategically hiding it. It may appear callous to bluntly say “I don’t know how to help you” to a loved one who’s crying, but as someone who’s been there, that’s an insanely vulnerable thing to admit. “I don’t feel your pain, I don’t get it. But I love you, and just because I’m not feeling it myself doesn’t mean I don’t care that you’re hurting.”

When Yuri finally just straight up tells Victor what to do, he is relieved and simply does it. Things are different between them after this episode because Yuuri finds the power to communicate his needs clearly and effectively. Victor doesn’t speak “subtlety” well. Yakov and Yurio both speak their mind to him directly regardless of if it’s polite, Which is quite telling because they’re the two characters he has the longest history with. It shows us the kind of communication style Victor is accustomed to and needs to navigate interpersonal relationships.

I’m not making a statement that Victor is autistic or even disordered per say. I feel his unusual circumstances provide enough explanation, but I really do see that he consistently struggles with empathy in the same way I do. He’s probably the only character I’ve been able to see that aspect of myself in with scenes that aren’t played for jokes.

[yoi-incorrect-quotes]

Viktor: Am I a good coach? Do I help you to be less anxious?

Yuuri: of course! You're a great coach, I'm way less anxious now!!

Viktor: what are you doing

Yuuri: ...

Yuuri: having a panic attack

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

Based on the ask Yuuri was given about Bittersweet being an anime I wanna imagine the other stories too!

Let's see there's Bittersweet for the two boys, lost and found for Charlie, Escape for Auron, Hell's kitchen for Lucien , star crossed for Faust, Talk Floral for Finn and Jack, the boy next door.

The intros would be SO cute to imagine!

THE LONG STORY SHORT: I yapped SO much on this-

Bittersweet:

The screen is black at first then it turns red showing that the camera is inside a oven. Then it opens and Boo is grabbing the pan smelling what they made. Then turning as the music starts, we see Alphonse leaning on the kitchen counter eating a candy.

Boo then goes and kisses him as they placed the pastures to cool down. It shows different memories of the couple, then it cuts to a scene where we see Seth riding in on his motorcycle. This is for season 1! Bc we don't know who Seth is yet and don't know if we like him!

Season 2 changes to where Seth is going through the fridge helping Boo with frosting the pastries. We then see Alphonse beside him joking around, after when they made up. It all good then we get a scene where someone is putting hair into a present.

Season 3 the intro is a bit darker to where Boo isn't opening the oven it pans to the three of them in a car. Hugging each other being riding off past the train tracks. We see Derek talking to someone, Charlie looking anxious, and finally what we think is Jessie.

Sadly no season 4 idea </3

Lost and Found:

Season 1's intro has Charlie waking up looking around his room and getting ready for work. Grabbing a skate board and riding to Pete's place, he passes many places before getting there. Where we see Pete yelling and Charlie just clocks in, grabbing a sign he sighs before putting on a bug smile and walking outside.

We see Casper in the corner of his eyes, Charlie gets a flashback to when they were younger and he freezes. We see a younger version of Casper holding out their hands for him to grab. But he shakes his head and sees older Casper, then opening his mouth to greet them.

Escape/Shattered:

Anime 1: I'd like to belive its like a short anime that got a spin off bc the og one couldn't go dark. SO, the first anime intro shows the ground where Rook is standing. Looking up and then the camera shoots up to Auron's office where he's looking down. Sighing and then turning away buzzing to Trish to call in the new hire.

It goes back to Rook who is rushing to get to his office, we see people who will become their friends. The workers are rushing past them like a well balanced machine and in the back ground can see Mark gathering his things. Then at the end Rook is looking at Auron's doors to his office, Trish gives them a kind smile and nods to them to go in.

Rook then opens the door and sees Auron, both eyes flash seeing each other. Auron breaks the eye contact and grabs papers, the intro flashes to what they will become and even hints how something will happen, something bad.

Sadly don't have anything on Shattered to give yall a intro idea </3

Hell's kitchen:

At first you think it's a demonic show but no, it shows Lucien sitting in he'll before being summoned for something. As he turns you can see Angel sitting on their couch blinking at him. They scream and it cuts to the intro music, the intro shows Lucien looking up cooking tutorials and Angel smiling at him.

We see him cooking different foods as Angel stuffs their face. Slowly they become closer to the point Angel wraps their arms around him and kisses him. Lucien looks down and smiles before lifting a piece of cake and feeding Angel again.

Star Crossed:

It shows Faust streaming and playing a game, then there's a notification. Ending the stream he clicks it and sees Star texting him about a collab. Looking scared he then shakes it off and agrees, then when he turns his phone off the camera flips to Star being happy at the acceptance.

Slowly as it goes on it shows Faust and Star playing games, meeting up and generally getting closer. Then at the end it shows Star holding Faust's hands in front of a camera in the background says 'just got together!'

Talk Floral:

It shows Finn humming as he walks in the back of his shop. Putting bouquets together then he hears the front door chime. Smiling widely he rushes out and we see Sunflower slowly coming in. Finn flushes at how attractive they are and opens his mouth to talk.

It then pans over to Finn showing off different flowers and orders he has to do. Sunflower is seen in all scenes but gradually getting closer. That represents how much Finn's crush is growing before they're right in front of him asking him out. It ends with Finn with a loving smile as he nods to them asking him out.

Jack, the Boy Next Door:

It pans to the campus at how big it is, then to Jack who's walking onto the campus. It's a big crowd of people finding their classes to not be late. Then he's bumping into someone, turning to say something he sees Buddy confused. With a gentle smile he opens his mouth to talk.

He guides them to their class, but jt seems as if the seasons are changing as they do. Showing different outfits and stages of how close they are, gradually they walk arm and arm to the class Buddy needs to go to. As their about to kiss, it switches back to Jack getting them to the building they need, with a shy smile Buddy waves him goodbye.

Jack is standing there in a daze before smiling and walking away to his class. The camera pans back to Buddy who's blushing and holding their heart, indicating they might have a crush.

[ticklygiggles]

Day 1 - Ginny's Birthday Extravaganza

A/N: We have Victuuri for the first drabble/lil fic from Ginny's week! I hope you enjoy this baby! I love you very much!

Summary: Yuuri feels insecure during the off-season because certain boyfriend of his is acting weird!

Yuuri hated himself. Oh, he despised himself. Loathed himself. He knew very well how fast he gained weight during off season and he was never really bothered by it, yes it was a hassle to get back in shape, but with Minako-sensei’s help and his own determination, he could easily do it.

He never really didn’t mind gaining weight… until he started dating Victor. 

Victor, not only his new coach, but also his lover, knew about Yuuri’s little trait during the off-season. He has seen it after coming to Japan from Russia for the first time; he had helped Yuuri lose weight himself, so Yuuri never thought that Victor would actually feel troubled towards him for getting softer, until he started to notice the changes. 

They were hard to see, honestly, but Yuuri was an anxious person, self-conscious, and an overthinker, so any change, especially related to Victor, could be easily noticed by him in a second. First, he started to notice how Victor looked at him less, barely meeting eyes when they spoke to each other, let alone having his eyes checking him out like he usually caught him doing. Then, he noticed how Victor started to touch him less: the hands on his waist, thighs and hips were all gone, if he was lucky he would get a gentle squeeze to his shoulder, but even during bedtime, Victor wouldn’t hold him tight against him like every other night.

This situation was eating Yuuri alive. He was restless. Kept awake at night and felt extremely shy around Victor, almost scared of being in his sight. He did notice Victor talked to him as always, bright and vibrant, but Yuuri just couldn’t brush off those anxious thoughts filling his mind due to Victor’s behavior towards him. 

He could lose weight if that was what Victor wanted, but could he, at least, treat him like he normally would? Could he be gentle and sweet and loving towards him? Did he find Yuuri that gross? He wanted to know, he died to know so he was just mildly surprised when certain words suddenly burst out one day:

“Victor, do you hate me?” Yuuri asked one afternoon, standing right in front of Victor as the russian sat on the couch, watching a movie. 

Victor’s eyes widened widely and he was quick to hold Yuuri’s hands between his and something jumped warmly inside Yuuri’s chest. 

“Why do you ask me so, Yuuri?!” Victor said, almost breathless. “How could I possibly hate you?! What do you mean?”

Something akin to relief spread across Yuuri’s chest, but if Victor didn’t actually hate him, then why was he acting so strangely now? 

“Because… I gained weight,” Yuuri said in a shy whisper, avoiding looking at Victor’s eyes as he felt his cheeks getting warm. “You… are distant. Perhaps you hate me because I look like this now?”

Victor blinked, staring at Yuuri with a tumult of emotions before he started to laugh. Yuuri raised his face to look at him with wide eyes, the blush on his cheeks deepening. Was Victor laughing at him? Was he really-

“Oh, my Yuuri,” Victor said, cleaning a single tear from the bottom of his eye with the back of his hand. “How could I hate you for that? On the contrary,” he said, his cheeks also turning pink. “I would say... you’ve bewitched me even more so with this new version of yourself.”

“W-What do you mean?”

Victor gently placed Yuuri’s hands over his cheeks and Yuuri flinched slightly when Victor looked up at him with tenderness in his eyes. 

“Yuuri, you really do not know what you do to me, do you?” Victor asked dreamily, looking at Yuuri. “You look exceptionally adorable, cute, irresistible, with your off-season body,” he said, letting go of Yuuri’s hands. 

“Haah!” Yuuri gasped when Victor’s cold hands sneaked under his shirt and gently grabbed his plump waist. 

“I can’t take my eyes off you for a second, Yuuri, but when I notice you looking my way, I quickly turn around,” Victor explained, giving Yuuri’s waist a tender squeeze that had him gasping and squirming slightly. “My fingers itch to touch you, my beautiful Yuuri, but I was scared you’d feel uncomfortable somehow… perhaps I shouldn’t make assumptions and simply ask you, hmm?”

“You are right,” Yuuri said, feeling true relief rushing through him. “I thought… you were grossed out by me.”

Victor smiled, letting go of Yuuri’s waist to grab the hem of his shirt to stick his head right under. Yuuri flushed to his neck, gasping Victor’s name.

“Did I make my sweet Yuuri feel insecure?” Victor asked, his lips pressing a tender kiss to Yuuri’s warm tummy, making him shiver. “I’m so sorry. I am the worst, Yuuri. I truly am. You are gorgeous.” Another kiss had Yuuri lurching his hips back, his hands moving to hold Victor’s shoulders. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I love you so much, there are not enough words to express my love to you.”

Yuuri felt the corners of his lips trembling as he felt Victor’s lips brushing his navel. “A-Ah, Victor! That… t-tihickles!”

Victor chuckled under his shirt. “You are so sensitive, Yuuri. Is your tummy more ticklish like this?”

“W-What? N-No, it’s- ahahaha! N-Not tihihicklihihing!

“I’m not tickling you, Yuuri,” Victor said and Yuuri could hear his big smile. “I’m just kissing you, Yuuri. Mwha, mwha, mmmmmhwa!”

Yuuri doubled over, laughing brightly as Victor placed kisses all over the soft skin of his stomach, blowing a raspberry here and nibbling there. He tried to push Victor out from under his shirt, but his lover had started squeezing his waist and Yuuri’s knees went weak. Victor quickly pushed him down onto the couch. 

“Will my Yuuri forgive me? I’m truly sorry, Yuuri,” Victor said and Yuuri could hear the sincerity of his words, but he could also feel those nimble fingers tickling his tummy and sides and waist, making him laugh loudly. 

“Vihihityahaha!” Yuuri laughed, squirming and trying to catch Victor’s hands. “Plehehease! 

"Yuuri, I am so crazy about this body of yours, but this spot," he said, grabbing Yuuri's hips. "I wanted to touch it the most." 

Yuuri shrieked, throwing his head back with nearly hysterical laughter as his legs kicked and his body arched and jerked around. Victor was pinching his hips, vibrating his fingertips against the warm skin.

"Nohohot thehehere! PLEHEHEASE!" Yuuri cried with laughter, hands latching to Victor's wrists; tears of mirth clinging to his long lashes as he weakly tried to push Victor’s hands away. 

The tickling stopped right away and Yuuri shrieked, tensing right up thinking that Victor would attack somewhere else, but he was surprised to feel warm lips pressing to his smiling mouth, kissing him chastely. Breathlessly and never capable of resisting Victor’s kisses, he tried to kiss him back, shaky hands cupping Victor’s face. 

“I love you, Yuuri,” Victor whispered against his lips. “I love however you look. Please don't ever doubt my love for you, Yuuri. I'm sorry."

Yuuri's eyes were filled with tears and the most adorable pout adorned his lips. 

"Ouch!" Victor said, hissing when the slap Yuuri gave him in the shoulder started to burn. "I- I deserve it, yes."

"You do!" Yuuri sobbed, closing one of his eyes when Victor's thumb cleaned his tears. "I thought you didn't-

"I know. I am sorry, Yuuri… You're so breathtakingly beautiful, I hope you know."

Yuuri pouted more, but he nodded, holding tightly onto Victor. "I love you."

"Me too, my lovely katsudon."

[winryrockbellwannabe]

🪻| 1 0 a n d 1 1 / A p r i l |🪻

🦿had my Biomechanics exam, that went.... I actually don't even know, bc our prof was super bitchy, he made the exam way harder than the examples from last year that he showed us 🍜then i had dinner with my friends to celebrate being done with the test lol. And then we went back to my place, watched yuuri on ice and got slightly tipsy, it was a lot of fun (i discovered i start laughing like crazy when I'm really tipsy) ��Today i had a meeting with my project coordinator, and it actually went way better than i expected so im no longer that anxious about it

and that was basically it, Hope y'all had a wonderful day <3

[thats-rather-rude]

Editing a rant that I typed in my friend’s dms about something I’d noticed about yuri on ice during my first rewatch of it since 2016:

One of the skating programs Yuuri performs, given to him by Viktor, is the twin of another piece.

We all know the two pieces:

In regards to love - Eros

and In regards to love - Agape

The routine yuuri skates, in regards to love - eros, has a story to it. One we all know.

To summarize the story, in case we’ve forgotten it:

A playboy enters a town, seduces all of the women of the town but one. He becomes infatuated and, I theorize that likely in this story, the infatuation comes from the chase and her resistance rather than a distinctive or remarkable beauty.

Eventually, though, she caves and gives into him, but having gotten what he wanted, the playboy soon grows tired of her and makes his way to the next town, casting her aside…

That’s the story of In Regards to Love Eros, at least the one conjured up Yuuri’s mind.

Originally, Yuuri envisioned himself as the playboy; seducing women left and right and at the end casting the final woman aside.

But that’s not Yuuri… Yuuri’s … not like that.

So instead he envisions himself as the woman that plays hard to get; the one that seduces the playboy and flaunts her beauty/ what he can’t have in his face as he chases and chases her.

But during my rewatch I would sit and wonder each time Yuuri skated to eros, “whos this playboy? Like it can’t be Viktor…” Viktor wouldn’t abandon or cast Yuuri off to the side like that. Viktor LOVES Yuuri. Yuuri INSPIRES Viktor.

So who plays the playboy in this story? Who is Yuuri… seducing and playing hard to get from??? But with the knowledge that eventually he’ll grow tired of Yuuri once Yuuri gives into him fully.

My dumbass.

Who else would it BE FOOL?!

VIKTOR.

Not VIKTOR Viktor. The Viktor Yuuri knows. The idea of Viktor Yuuri had conjured up in his head.

Because that’s how Yuuri THOUGHT Viktor felt about him. Yuuri DOESN’T know the inside of Viktor’s mind as we, the audience, do.

Yuuri, being the self deprecating, anxious, depressed man he is doesn’t, or didn’t, have the FOGGIEST clue how Viktor truly felt about him. He had no idea that his feelings toward Viktor were reciprocated. Viktor is Yuuri’s muse, and Yuuri, Viktor’s.

When Viktor said he was going to be Yuuri’s coach, the entire time Yuuri’s idol was by Yuuri’s side, Yuuri would secretly, at least secretly on Viktor’s end, dread the day of the final and the day that would put an end to Viktor and Yuuri; The day Viktor would leave him.

Yuuri fully believed that Viktor solely came all the way to Hatsetsu to fuck around. That he wanted to be his coach for the year and move on, to leave Yuuri after giving Yuuri everything he could’ve ever dreamed of. How selfish the Viktor in Yuuri’s mind was. A playboy, who could have anybody he wanted, that decided to make Yuuri his next target. Who was Yuuri to deny Viktor that? Who was Yuuri to take Viktor away from the skating scene and not allow Viktor to have his fun?

A FUCKING NOBODY? (At least to Yuuri when he’s japan’s top figure skater but whatever)

Ugh… Each time Yuuri skates to Eros, he’s seducing Viktor, reeling him in while also keeping him at a distance. Then right at the end, he gives in. Let’s Viktor have what he’s always wanted. Then he’s abandoned.

WOW?!

AND UGHHH TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE YURI GENUINELY STARTS GIVING INTO VIKTOR!! OFF THE ICE!! HE TELLS VIKTOR MORE ABOUT HIMSELF, EATS MEALS WITH HIM, BOUGHT VIKTOR AND HIMSELF MATCHING FUCKING RINGS???, THEY SLEEEEPPPPP INNNN THHEEEE SAAAAMMMEEEEEE BEEDDDDDDDDDD, HE STARTS GOING OUT OF HIS COMFORT ZONE TO SHOW THAT VIKTOR ISN’T WASTING HIS TIMEEEE

HE ALLOWS VIKTOR TO KISS HIM GOD DAMN IT.

ALL WITH THE IDEA IN HIS HEAD THAT VIKTOR’S INEVITABLY GOING TO LOSE INTEREST IN HIM AND FORGET ABT HIM ONCE THE SEASON’S OVER.

SICKENINGGGG.

Toward the end of the season Yuuri starts to get desperate, too. Demanding Viktor take him out, “sightseeing”, uncharacteristic, as Viktor points out himself. He wants to spend as much time as Viktor as he can after constantly refusing Viktor’s attempts in the earlier episodes.

Yuuri knows how infatuated with him Viktor is. However, he believes it all to be inherently sexual or just for fun. Just. For. Fun.

When Yuuri tells Viktor how he feels, I feel that’s when Yuuri starts to see that there may be more to Viktor than he’d previously assumed.

When Yuuri brings up his plans to retire, in episode 11-12, brashly saying “Let’s end this”…. VIKTOR FUCKING CRIES.

WOAH!

OKAY?!

Yeah these two are gonna be the DEATH of me.

[greenscreenscream]

i will never get over how deeply intimate this moment is. brushing someone’s hair is such a beautiful, personal action, especially before a performance. yuuri is so comfortable with victor that he closes his eyes and rests. this shared intimacy is such a innate and fundamental part of their routine. it beautifully encapsulates viktor’s love for yuri, when originally he ran to japan on a chase. yuuri used to be so anxious before competing that he couldn’t be out of control for a moment, yet he trusts viktor to style his hair

to be love is to be seen. to be loved is to be changed

[triptychgrip]

A non-exhaustive list of things Yuuri and Viktor would write fanfiction about

Viktor would write a “fix-it” fic* to make up for his “Oops! Watch the nosebleed!” failure to catch Yuuri at the Chu-Shikoku-Kyushu regionals. He’d do so not only because of his own guilt around prioritizing his designer suit (which he’d throw away in shame), but also b/c Yuuri’s fans would never let him live that moment down, lol. I think Phichit would create a calendar appt set to repeat every September 25th (until the end of time), to remind Viktor of how he heartlessly let Yuuri fall to the floor, complete w/ exaggerated GIFs and memes. Kenjirou would probably join in

Because he is just as extra as his fiance (and feels bad for not remembering it), Yuuri would get Christophe/Yurio/Mila’s help to write a fic in which he DID remember the Sochi banquet. In this iteration, not only does he thrash Yurio in a dance-off and sweep Viktor off of his feet, but he — very shyly and very awkwardly — knocks on Viktor’s hotel room door the next morning, carrying an assortment of Japanese hangover remedies

After about a month goes by with no word from Yuuri post-Sochi, Viktor would take any breaks he can afford when not training for Europeans or Worlds to write the most extremely fanciful fanfic as an outlet for his pining/heartbreak, because…well, duh. Each of these stories would include extremely plausible reasons for why Yuuri just couldn’t contact him (none of which, obviously, involve the fact that he was trashed beyond belief). His favorite one includes the fact that Yuuri is actually a highly trained assassin working for the Japanese govt, who decides not to get in contact with Viktor because he doesn’t want his enemies to put a target on Viktor’s back. Oh, the gallantry!

As Viktor approaches his 30th birthday, Yuuri would note his increasing reluctance to acknowledge the milestone. Taking Georgi’s predictably dramatic advice, he’d surprise Viktor with a time travel fanfic*, one that is admittedly a bit trite in its “I’ll love you no matter what age you are, Vitya” theme, but that delights Viktor, nonetheless…especially when he notes that Yuuri only has eyes for him, even though his younger, 18 year old self is outrageously flirty with his fiancé. (Georgi, failing to note that this isn’t supposed to be an angst fic, would beg Yuuri to up the ante on the crying)

When Viktor tears his meniscus during the 2011 off-season, Yuuri writes a fic in which they meet by way of Viktor being sent to a famed healing/rehabilitation clinic in Fukuoka. In this fic, Yuuri actually would decide to go home to Hasetsu in the off-season, meaning he would not only get to know Viktor, but also reunite with his sweet poodle 😭

Seeing how anxious Yuuri is during the planning of their wedding, Viktor — in a very sweet but misguided way — decides to write him a crack-y fanfic in which just about everything that can go wrong on the day of, does go wrong. This is sort of meant to be a “see, Yuuri?! Even with all of that terrible stuff happening, the day still turned out perfect, because I got to marry you!” kind of thing, and even though Yuuri nearly has a panic attack while reading it, he ultimately does derive comfort from it (and he also triple checks that Otabek as their DJ does not actually intend to play any risqué music at the reception that will send his elderly relatives into states of catatonic shock, as happens in the fic)

Bonus: After losing some kind of drunken bet, Yurio writes a fic that he then forces Yuuri and Viktor to role-play. In it, all of Viktor’s hair falls off the day after Onsen on Ice. Ashamed to be seen like this by Yuuri, Viktor hightails it back to St. Petersburg and grovels at Yurio’s feet for forgiveness

If you’ve read my “fic-ception” series in which Yuuri and Viktor jointly write (and publish) a sappy/smutty friends-to-lovers and role-reversal story starring their fictional selves, you probably aren’t surprised to hear that this very meta concept has completely taken over my brain.

While writing Put It In Reverse For Thirst, I couldn’t help but ideate around the kinds of things Yuuri and Viktor might explore in the wondrous world of fanfiction, both before they got together, and afterwards.

Above are just a few of the ideas that came to mind…I’ll probably make a part 2! What else do you think they’d write fanfic about? I think the possibilities are endless.

*these are ideas I have in the works for potential stories. My WIPs folder is a disaster

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Carla Ecstasy [05]

ー The scene starts outside of Banmaden

Male Ghoul A: Oi! Are you done honing the swords!? Make sure to do the spare ones as well!

Male Ghoul C: Hold up! I’m still doing the final check-ups of the armor!

Male Ghoul B: The Vibora are on their way to attack this castle! We don’t have a single second to lose!

Male Ghoul C: Look who’s talking! Maybe move your hands instead of your mouth then?

Male Ghoul B: Excuse me...!?

Male Ghoul A: Oi, wait. Now’s hardly the time for us to start arguing, is it?

...But this really sucks. With the war drawing close, Shin-sama’s training has become more and more strict.

Haah. I feel like my body isn’t going to hold up at this rate.

*SCENE SHIFT*

Kino: Aha! The Ghouls are starting to panic with the Vibora clan commencing their attack. 

( ...Well then. The war will start at last. )

( To ensure that I can gain control over the Demon World ーー I will need a place which can serve as my footing. )

( Being located in the centre of the Demon World, Banmaden would honestly be the ideal fit. )

( There’s also Eve as well. With her connections to the Demon Lord, she could use her as quite the powerful trump card. )

Putting that aside, there’s two people who could get in my way.

( Carla and Shin ーー No matter what happens, I can’t imagine they will ever become my pawns. )

( I figured Carla would make a run for it to Rotigenberg, fearing his illness. )

( But he’s surprisingly persistent and ultimately decided to stay here at this Castle. )

...This is exactly why I hate people who can’t get over their big-ass pride.

With people like that ーー You have take them down a peg or two. 

ー Kino approaches the Ghouls

Male Ghoul A: Ah, Kino-sama!

Kino: You guys seem really motivated! How does it feel, knowing you’ll be heading into your very first fight?

Male Ghoul A: Ahー ...Well.

Male Ghoul B: ...That’s...

Kino: ...? What’s wrong? You seem anxious.

Male Ghoul B: Ahー Yeah. We are. You see...

Kino: ...? You can tell me anything. I’ll listen to all of your worries.

Male Ghoul B: No, it’s just that we don’t have any magical powers. ...So we can’t help but be worried how much of a chance we’ll stand against the Vibora.

Male Ghoul A: Besides, we lose to the Vibora troops both in numbers and raw power...

Kino: Yeah, I understand. I’m worried about that as well. 

Even though I made Carla a suggestion which would easily fix the issue with the Vibora, he blew it off. 

Male Ghoul B: Fix the issue with the Vibora...?

Kino: Exactly. A wonderful plan where nobody would have to fight.

Male Ghoul C: Eh? What does that plan entail exactly...!?

Kino: Fufu. You seeーー

ー Kino explains to them

Kino: There you have it. As long as we offer her to the Vibora Clan, we’d easily be able to form an alliance with the Vibora Clan.

I guess he said no because he doesn’t want to lose his own woman.

Male Ghoul B: ...No wayーー So we’re being forced to risk our lives in an unnecessary fight over such a trivial reason!?

Male Ghoul A: Does that mean that Carla-sama doesn’t take us into consideration at all...!?

Male Ghoul C: ...Hey. Why don’t we go confront him directly about this?

Male Ghoul B: Confront him directly, huh? ーー You’re right. Let’s go tell him that he can’t just sacrifice us like this!

Male Ghoul A: Okay, off we go!

ー The Ghouls run off

Kino: Perfect. They took the bait, just as I thought.

Now Carla will have some important taken away from him as well. 

I hope he loses all will to live. That’d make my job a lot easier.

Anyway, I better go check how things turned out afterwards. ...Well then, for my next moveーー

ー Yuuri walks up to him

Kino: ...Hm? Aah, Yuuri. Anything you need?

Yuuri: ...You seem to be in a good mood.

Kino: Yeah! My plan is going perfectly, fufu~

Yuuri: ...Kino. There is something I would like to ask you once again.

About the Founders who are supposedly trying to get us out of the picture.

That is what you told us, but he accepted us as his allies so we can fight for him.

I simply cannot imagine that his end goal is to get rid of us.

Kino: Ah, about that. that was just something I said on a whim.

Yuuri: Hah?

Kino: Like I said, I randomly made it up. 

Yuuri: ...Why would he tell such a lie? 

Kino: Eh? No reason in particular. Just felt like it.

Yuuri: ...

Kino: Oh geez, don’t make such a scary expression, Yuuri. 

ー They can hear a commotion

Kino: Ah. Seems like Ghouls are finally rebelling against the Founder King. I can’t miss this!

ー Kino walks away

Yuuri: Kino...

ー The scene shifts to the saloon

Carla: ーー It is awfully noisy in the entrance hall.

Shin: ...? What could be happening? Don’t tell me it’s the Vibora!?

Carla: No, it is too early for that. Besides, it does not sound like a fight.

Shin: Then what on earth...?

Carla: ーー Either way, let us go. 

ー Yui gets up

Yui: I’m coming as well.

ー The scene shifts to the entrance hall

Male Ghoul B: There he is! The Founder King!

Male Ghoul A: Founder King! Please listen to us!!

Carla: ...!

Shin: Oi, oi, what’s this ruckus for!? Calm down!

Male Ghoul B: We want to talk to the Founder King! You stay out of this!

Shin: Excuse me...!?

Carla: Shin. Stop.

Shin: But, Nii-san!

Carla: They said that they want to talk to me. So I shall listen. 

Shin: ...!

Carla: Yui. You return to your room.

Yui: No. I’ll stay here. 

Carla: ...You will not do as I say?

Yui: I’m sorry. I will not.

Carla: ...!?

Selection

→ I cannot ignore this

Yui: I cannot ignore this situation. 

Even if I were to return to my room, I believe I would worry myself sick.

So I shall remain here.

Carla: ...So you are remainig here out of your own selfish desires. Do as you please then.

Yui: Yes...

( He sounded a little cold just now... )

( But I am indeed being selfish, so I guess I cannot blame him... )

→ I want to be by your side (❦)

Yui: I want to be there for you. Always, at all times.

No matter what happens, that is a choice I made for myself. I will not regret it.

Carla: ...Hmph. If you are that insistent, be my guest.

Yui: Yes...!

ー Carla walks up to the Ghouls

Carla: Sorry for the wait. Ghouls, tell me what you have to say.

Monologue

The Ghouls suddenly stormed Banmaden. 

They are demanding an audience with the Founder King.

I wonder if the reality,

of the Vibora Clan who have initiated their attack on Banmaden,

is affecting them as well. 

In the end, the misgivings (疑問) around Carla-san’s possible involvement with the death of the young lad,

has yet to be resolved. 

Given these circumstances,

It honestly would not be strange,

if this had triggered feelings of displeasure and doubt (疑問) towards the Founders,

amidst the Ghoulsーー

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

The beauty of accidental marriage proposals

Yuuri very likely didn't intend to propse to Viktor at the airport but his heart knew what it (and he) truly desired and twisted his words into a proposal—or rather something akin to a proposal that resulted in a spontaneous engagement.

Let's unpack this.

Yuuri returns from the Rostelecom Cup with his mind full of things that he wants to tell Viktor. While we don't learn the details, his inner monologue in the previous scene gives us a good idea of the things he's mulling over.

Yuuri has convinced himself that Viktor will abandon him after the Grand Prix Final. Thus, that competition is his final chance to win gold and he's determined to fulfil the promise he made in his speech in ep. 5 and win that medal. But even if doesn't win gold, there is one thing that he feels he needs to do after seeing skaters and skating fans react to Viktor becoming a coach at two consecutive competitions.

Regardless of how much Yuuri has profited from Viktor's support, he is very conscious about the fact that Viktor belongs to the ice. Or at least that is what his anxious brain has convinced him of. In this sense, giving up his own career so that Viktor can resume his own is an act of love and the only possible solution for them to stay together (in Yuuri's brain).

We never learn about the end of Yuuri's contemplation, but the subtext of the next scene implies that breaking up with Viktor is not an option. Or if it was an option, it was off the table once he was back in Viktor's arms.

Since Yuuri has anxiety, it's safe to assume that he has been overthinking his talk with Viktor over and over during the flight, going through all kinds of scenarios based on Viktor's imagined reaction. After hours on the plane, his brain must have been on the verge of exploding, casting poor Yuuri into a state of total overwhelm. If you have anxiety, you can possibly relate.

However, the moment that he spots Viktor, his mind goes blank and instinct takes over as he runs into Viktor's arms and instead of whatever speech he has prepared, he just blurts out the following line:

僕も考えてた。引退まで 僕のこと—　お願いします！ "I've been thinking, too. Please take care of me until I retire!"

The English translation is a bit messed up here. In the original, Yuuri never uses the word coach in that line. "Please take care of me" is Japanese proposal language. The translators probably didn't recognise this nuance and sadly, the nuance is still lost in the Bluray version.

But that's why Viktor recognises the proposal in Yuuri's words.

However, based on the details given and the illogical ways anxious brains work, Yuuri intended to inform Viktor about his retirement plans and to voice his desire to make the most of the little time he thinks they have left. But that's not what his heart wants. And since episode 5 we know what that is:

初めて自分から繋ぎとめたいと思った人、それがヴィクトルです

A more accurate translation of that line is "The first person I want to tie myself to and never let go is Viktor" because 繋ぎとめたい means wanting to tie someone / something to you and never let it go (see this translation error masterpost).

Of course, Yuuri doesn't want his relationship with Viktor to end and no matter if his anxiety his skyrocketing in the face of the GPF looming ahead, that desire has taken root in his heart and brain. However, his anxiety stops him from proposing actually and turns his addition "until I retire" into a gentle prodding to find out whether he and Viktor are on the same page.

And of coruse, they are.

And it's all Yuuri has wished for. He's been anxious the whole time. Until Viktor recognises the proposal and response with a yes in the same fashion that Yuuri has asked.

To wrap all of this up:

Absence nurtures desire and in this case, the time apart has shown Yuuri and Viktor how much they want to be by each other's side. Because he missed Viktor so desperately, Yuuri's heart wins over his anxiety for once and enables him to tell Viktor his deepest desire. By recognising said desire, Viktor is able to accept the proposal and the two boys are now officially engaged. And that's yet another beautiful aspect about this show.

Unfortunately Viktor didn't really catch the part about the retirement, which will result in him thinking that Yuuri wants to break up when Yuuri announces his retirement plans in Barcelona. On the other hand, knowing that Viktor wants to stay by his side forever is a huge relief for Yuuri and allows him to enter the GPF without any emotional baggage.

Bonus: look at that cute tiny smile right between Viktor recognising the proposal and the second hug.

For further readings related to this please check out:

Japanese dating culture in YOI

Unwrapping "Let's end this"

On Yuuri's top-secret love life

If you enjoyed this meta you might like to check out my YOI canon works on AO3 or just support me by reblogging this post.

[rikeijo]

Today's translation #298

Miracle!!! on ICE, Kubo Mitsurou's interview

Part 10.

--- It seems that Victor, on the inside, is actually anxious about his abilities as a coach.

K: I think that especially in episode 7. it was well-visible. Victor as a coach is still immature, and he's still learning. To Yuuri, however, he is someone like a god, a Living Legend, and that's why he is able to push [Yuuri] too hard. When we asked skaters what they want their coach to be like as we were doing our research, the answer was that they'd prefer it more if their coach pushed a little bit too hard, and not a coach that attends to their every need.

--- It was what the skaters themselves said, so these words have a strong power of persuasion.

K: On the other hand, I've heard that coaches, as well, have a hard time figuring out how they should teach something to a skater [whose technique] is to some extend already complete. It seems that in case of coaching top skaters, it's not so much about their technique, but their mental problems, or how to get [their condition] ready for a competition. It's the same for Yuuri - his technique is already complete to some extent, but the problem is that in real competitions, he can't get that right and he is being stopped one step before the goal. There are some things that only Victor can do, because he's the person that Yuuri looks up to, and Yuuri, too, is able to skate in a different way than usual, because of the stimulation that he gets from Victor. We didn't want this chemical reaction that occurs between them to be the same every time, but instead, in episodes 5~7, we wanted to make the viewers feel the sense of anticipation, that every time something new is going to happen [between them].