#anyway I HOPE YOU ENJOY

[spkyart]

They asked for no pickles

[loveshickk]

[averyiconthequeen]

averyjameson: overwhelmed

Both Avery and Jameson are going through tough times in their lives, which takes a toll on their relationship.

warnings: angsty, also maybe a little suggestive content idk !!

There is something special about Italy, and to be honest, it cannot be accurately described in words, you can only feel it. Every time you’re here, everything just seems different.

It was spring break and everyone had been terribly busy with studies and work for the past few months, so it was decided to meet here at one of Avery’s villas. Grayson's idea. From now on, he didn't run away from his family, but wanted to be close to them. He also wanted to take a boat ride with Lyra on Lake Como and watch the sunset. Isn't it amazing how love and therapy changes people?

Everyone was supposed to come except Nash and Libby. Of course, they wanted to spend time with everyone, but when your kids turn three and they start talking non-stop and being everywhere, all you want after a while is just some alone time together. So, they decided to leave the twins at Zara's and go somewhere quiet and enjoy the silence, at least for a couple of days. But really, it was out of the question, because they will definitely miss the babies too soon and show up on Zara's doorstep the very next day. Not like it’s their first attempt to do so.

Grayson and Lyra had already been here for a few days and were now lost somewhere in the gardens. Xander had only arrived a few minutes ago and was now on the phone with Max, who should be arriving in a couple hours as well.

“I don't want to sound dramatic, but I'm pretty sure I won't survive here without you among these...” hearing the door open, he turned around. “It's Avery. Alone.”

“Okay, I love you. Hopefully I’ll be okay when you arrive, it’s like being around divorced parents.”

“First of all, no, it’s not. Second of all, it’s only their freaking business. And finally, if anything new happens, let me know! Love you,” she hung up and he smiled. Yes, they were that kind of couple. Gossipers. And what’s wrong with that? It’s not like they’re judging someone, just… discussing.

“My second favorite person in the world!” Xander made his way to the girl he hasn’t seen in almost three months.

Avery smiled brightly, taking a few steps to him as well and hugged him. She missed him dearly. They texted each other almost every day in their shared chat with Max, and knew everything that was going on in each other's lives, but seeing him in person was different.

He helped Avery carry her bags to her room and they fell into a discussion about the new series they’d started watching. After an hour of talking about everything, they went downstairs, and Avery knew Xander wanted to ask her, but for some reason he held back.

When they got down to the spacious, bright kitchen, which overlooked the lake, they realized that Lyra and Grayson still hadn't returned. Interesting.

“Are you still mad at my brother?”

Of course, it was only a matter of time. Honestly, she thought he would do it as soon as he saw her. She also knew that Jameson wasn't saying anything to him about it, even though Xander was worried. Did it hurt him? A little bit, yeah. Xander had shared more with him than the others, but he figured Jameson probably had his reasons right now and didn't push him.

He knew the situation in a nutshell. Only that something had happened and that Jameson and Avery were trying to pretend it hadn't. That was enough to put two and two together.

“I wasn't mad at him,” she denied, but Xander didn't believe it. He knew her too well, and when it came to Jameson, it was always so obvious. “Maybe I was mad, but not anymore.”

It was almost two weeks ago. Jameson got a minor trauma at practice. Minor bruise, but it will only remain minor if treated immediately. The trouble with this guy is that he almost never stops until he gets what he wants, a win. Almost. His number one rule: don't make Avery worry too much. She wanted him to be safe, and when he could control it, he wanted to be that safe for her.

However, the thing is, when you're in your 20s, you decide it's now or never and push yourself until your anxiety eats you up. “You can do more, you have to do this, you’re worthless if you cannot achieve this, there’s too little time ahead”. Emotions and there are a lot of them.

All too much, still not enough.

And that's why he broke his number one rule. He kept going until the pain got worse and he ended up in the hospital.

They argued for a few minutes and for the first time, their code word “Tahiti” didn't resolve anything, because when they started talking clearly, things got even worse. It ended with Avery running out of the room, and Jameson not even trying to stop her. They didn't speak for two whole days after that.

It happens in every relationship; there comes a point when you fight and don't make up right away, on the contrary, you stay angry with each other and you don’t want to listen, even if you’re clearly not right. The question is who goes through these obstacles together, and who only remembers each other after a few years, being far away and thinking whether it could’ve turned out differently? This is a kind of test of how strong the love is, whether it is true love, whether there is trust and respect in it.

Avery and Jameson loved each other. That was why Jameson had shown up at her apartment at night on the second day of their mutual silence. She was studying for an exam that was due in two days, and even though she knew the material perfectly, it was her only distraction from her anger at him.

Oren let him in. Jameson appeared in her living room just as Avery was about to text him. They stared at each other for a few seconds, and that night was the first time they made up without talking about it. At least they didn't have so much anger in them anymore.

It could hardly be called reconciliation, however, because even though they were back on the phone every night, talking about how their day had gone, those conversations had gotten shorter; despite the messages in the middle of the day that they missed each other, something had changed, and it frightened them both. That was partly why they had come separately.

“Well, he's going to be mad. You know, when he finds out about Matt,” Xander shrugged, looking at her with again, so worried eyes.

Avery gasped and was going to say something when she heard his voice.

“Who’s Matt?”

Jameson Winchester Hawthorne stood leaning against the door, with disheveled hair, frowning eyebrows, and those challenging and bright green eyes, and all Avery wanted to do was walk over and kiss his stupidly handsome face.

Max arrived shortly after Jameson did. There was an underlying tension in the air that had never been present before when Avery and Jameson were in the room. It didn't take long for her to grab Xander's hand and ask the just returned Lyra and Gray to show where they were hanging out today.

It was just the two of them now, and it was clear that either they were right now resolving whatever they had going on or they were continuing to pretend.

Avery sighed and turned away from him, facing the window. She couldn't bear to look at her boyfriend, because this unpleasant feeling suddenly has returned, and she still wanted things to go back to the way they were before. All of this made her too emotional and she didn’t like it at all. It was stupid, wasn't it? Felling so much over such a small thing. Only it wasn’t a small thing.

“So, we have secrets now, Heiress?” he came closer, and now she could feel his warm breath on her neck and smell his perfume. It wasn’t fair.

“We don’t. I just didn’t get the chance to tell you.”

Well, it wasn’t a lie. First, she'd forgotten with all her studies and work, then they'd had a fight, and she just hadn't thought about goddamn Matt.

Jameson gently took her hand and turned her around so that they were now looking at each other.

“What's wrong, Avery?” he waited patiently for an answer, trying to ignore that look in her eyes. Either she wanted to punch him in the face or kiss him. He wouldn't mind both.

As for her, Avery did, in fact, want to do both, but more to punch him because he asked “what's wrong?” instead of saying “Tahiti”. Why are they like this?

She wanted to say, “Nothing I couldn't handle on my own,” but that would only make it worse. Avery indeed could handle a lot of things on her own, but she also knew how important it was for him to be there for her, no matter what.

Matt was in her Economics class and wouldn't leave her alone for a week. He flirted with her and made inappropriate jokes. Avery knew he knew she had a boyfriend, it was obvious without saying, but he still didn't stop. After telling him she wasn't interested and repeating that she was in a relationship, he still texted her, somehow finding her phone number.

“Matt is a prick who didn’t leave me alone. Oren handled it.”

“Sounds like something I should know, huh?”

“Oren handl…”

“Avery,” Jameson took a step back, running a hand over his face tiredly. “This isn't us, Heiress. You had so many chances to tell me, so why didn't you?”

He looked somewhere over her shoulder and this was her chance to finally see him. Jameson was tense and looked so stressed, and if she hadn't known him, she would have thought he was angry with her.

Avery wasn't trying to hide anything from him, no. Max found out about Matt by accident. She'd called her the moment Avery had gotten the weird message from the guy, so she'd told her right away. Xander was with Max that day, so he found out by accident, too. After their conversation, Avery almost immediately loaded up on work and her school assignments, and by the time she was done, thoughts of Matt didn't even visit her. All she wanted that evening was to hear Jameson's voice on the phone and experience no more stress.

“I was thinking more about exams than him. And you were busy training every day, you were already pushing yourself...”

“I'm never busy for you, you know that, Ave,” he shook his head and looked at her again and immediately regretted it. He had broken his second rule: don't make Avery cry.

Why did her eyes fill with tears? She didn't know the answer to that question herself. Suddenly all the thoughts she'd been trying to ignore, all the stress of the endless work, of being scrutinized by everyone, of worrying about him and fearing about their relationship, came crashing down on her at once.

“I know and I was going to tell you, but it's all sorted now,” she wanted him to know there were no secrets from him. They were in a shitty position as it was. “Jameson, I will never give up on us, I want you to know that. But it scares me. And it hurts me that you won't let me in,” her voice cracked and she closed her eyes to keep from crying. What was the point of these tears anyway?

“Avery, no,” she suddenly felt his fingers gently stroking the skin under her eyes, and the touch somehow made her breathing much easier. “It's not like this.”

Sometimes you get so confused about life that you don't know what you want out of it. People like Jameson always want more, and that feeling doesn't go away, and in the end, you’re just getting overwhelmed.

“You're too hard on yourself, and I get it, you want to be the best. I get it. But what's the point of this,” she placed a hand on his still slightly sore rib and looked into his eyes, a sadness in them. “If it can make you lose everything you've worked so hard for?”

Avery was right. But that thought, the realization of it, only came now. There was nothing pleasant about the fact that he'd been injured, but there was nothing surprising about it either; it happens sometimes. He lost control on a corner and went off the track, managed to get back but ended up feeling pain in his rib. However, the fact that he had continued the drive, feeling the pain, knowing the consequences, was foolish. It was a practice run, not even an actual race. So, what was the point of it? Plus, he lost the chance to race for three weeks after that, which made it all worse.

He was blinded by thoughts of future victories, of responsibility for the team (ironic, right?), of not doing enough, and it ended with him missing out on the feelings of the most important person in his life. Jameson knew how worried she was about him, and yet always so supportive. God, would he have gotten through all of this if it wasn't for her support? He knew for a fact, it would be so much harder without her.

Jameson wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him, resting his chin on the top of her head. She was just as overwhelmed, and then some asshole wouldn't leave her alone. What kind of boyfriend was he after that?

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair. "I felt on edge, so angry with myself and I couldn't stop it. Or didn't want to. Fucking masochist, you know me. I was so caught up in it."

“We both were,” she wrapped her arms around his torso. “I felt so exhausted, you won’t believe how many times I was thinking about dropping out and quitting everything. We didn't even try to listen.”

“I won’t let it happen again,” he promised and Avery believed him. After all, she won’t let it happen again either.

Sunset crept into the room, illuminating it with golden light. Avery and Jameson stood there, holding each other, their quiet voices seemed to be the only sound in the entire house. They were finally listening to each other, talking more about their feelings, smiling, joking, kissing.

It still felt different, but in a good way now. It was as if a new lesson that life had taught them had been learned.

“Do you remember the first time we were here?” asked Jameson, brushing a strand of hair away from her face.

“You mean the time you went to jail three nights in a row?”

“Yeah, that time,” he grinned. “Can you blame me? One girl wouldn't stop throwing dares at me.”

“Yeah? I'm sure it's not her fault you don't know how to not get caught,” she remarked playfully.

“Anyway,” Jameson took her by both hands and led her to the balcony. “I'm talking about our first evening here, almost like this one, the sunset, music- and you told me I was the hottest person you'd ever met-”

“I didn't tell you that.”

“Mm, right,” he kissed her palms and placed them on the back of his neck, wrapping his arms around her waist. “After my first arrest, we were dancing and I promised that every time I fucked up, I'd make it up to you, so you'd have no choice but to forgive me and love me even more. So, I'm gonna do it, and you're so not ready for it. Completely Queen treatment.” Jameson spun her around, making her laugh.

“Well, now my expectations are super high.”

“Good,” finally, he leaned to kiss her. It wasn't a gentle kiss; it was as if they were making confessions to each other all over again, as if no matter how many “I love yous” came out of their mouths, it wasn't enough. All the stress, the unnecessary thoughts, the anger all faded away and it felt like they were on top of the world again.

They were dancing slowly and listening to the silence around them, Avery's head resting on his chest, and he held her like he never wanted to let go.

“Heiress?”

“Hm?”

“I kind of want to punch this wanker- What’s his name again?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

I was feeling really sad, man, and didn’t want to deal with it, so i decided to let it out in the writing :) also Xander called Avery his second favorite person in the world guys 🥹🥹 and they hugged. their friendship >>

my other works:

averyjameson: safe place

[vindikaetion]

Jack likes to give surprise kisses when Hiccup goes flying.

Toothless is not amused.

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 174

warnings: none hmh masterlist

How the hell is she one? How in the world is Ronan Charlotte a year old? It seems like not so long ago, you were finding out you were even pregnant. And yet, here she is, a whole year old. Time truly flies by, doesn't it?

It's amazing how much can change in just one year. She’s grown and developed so much. She's learned to crawl, walk, and talk--some of her favorite words being ‘dada’, “mama’, ‘boo’ for Bleu, ‘toes’ for toast; her favorite breakfast, and saying ‘uh oh’ when someone drops something. Watching her grow and learn has been such a joy for everyone around her, especially you and John. It's hard to believe that just twelve months ago, she was still in your belly. But now, she's a happy and healthy little girl with a whole world of possibilities ahead of her.

Not only is this a milestone for her, but it is for you and John as well. You’ve made it through your first year of parenthood! It’s been one hell of a ride, but it’s been so fun, and what’s made it even better is knowing you have him by your side through all the ups and downs and bumps along the way. He’s been a great partner and father. You really couldn’t ask for a better person by your side. Hopefully he feels the same way.

You remember the anxiety you felt the day you were going to tell him that you were pregnant. You remember how nervous and excited you were, and you remember how happy John was when he finally found the ornament and read it. It was one of the happiest days of your lives when you told him, then 9 months later, on September fifth--on her mom and dad’s anniversary--Ronan decided to join this world and it made the day all the sweeter.

“That is still so fucking wild,” Tess says, and you look over at her as you continue putting decorations together, “How the hell did you plan that?”

“Plan what?”

Tess furrows her brow when she looks at you, “Ronan being born on your anniversary. What kind of black magic was that?”

You start to laugh, “Pure luck.”

“Fate,” John chimes in, and you smile as you look at him while Tess playfully gags despite the fact that she probably thinks it’s cute. He wraps his arm around your waist and kisses your cheek, “Definitely fate. Something bigger had a hand in this.”

“Or I just had really good timing. Maybe I seduced you on purpose that day knowing that if I got pregnant we would have a baby nine months later on our anniversary. Maybe I’m secretly a huge mastermind.” you say, and John starts to laugh, “Do not laugh! Maybe it’s true!”

John shakes his head, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned about you these past three years, it’s that you’re very smart. Very, very smart, but even I don’t think you could have planned this.”

“Yeah, no, to be honest, it would have been so much work, and I just don’t think I would have had the patience,” you laugh, and he kisses your cheek, “But nonetheless, it is pretty wild.”

Tess smiles as she looks at the two of you, “How was your trip? I’ve barely had time to talk with you today.”

When you got home last night, you just got Ronan and immediately went home to spend time with her before she needed to go to bed. She was so excited to see you and John that she just couldn’t get herself calmed down enough to even go to bed. She eventually fell asleep halfway through eating a banana, which was pretty cute. You and John were laughing over how cute she was that you were both in tears.

Today has been spent decorating and getting ready for her birthday party, so you haven’t had much time to really talk with Tess.

“It was really good,” John says, and you smile at him. “Definitely a much needed trip.”

Tess grins when you look at her, “You had sex on every surface, didn’t you?”

“We had so much sex,” you laugh, and John puts his head down, his cheeks turning red. You love embarassing him.“One day we did nothing but have sex. It was amazing. It reminded me of when we first met. I don’t think I even put on clothes that day.”

“You did for about an hour before you ripped them off again,” John says, smiling at you, “It was the best day.”

You playfully roll your eyes, “It was a great day. But like John said, it was a much needed trip. It was so nice to just be the two of us. I definitely don’t want to wait that long before we have another trip. Maybe our next one we can bring the whole family.”

John steals a carrot from the veggie tray Tess is making, “We wanted to go to Switzerland for our babymoon, but you were very pregnant. I think it’d be fun to go there with the family. It’s beautiful there. We should think about going next spring or even this winter.”

“Ooh, that sounds fun to me!” you say, leaning up to kiss him. “Anyway, yeah, the trip was perfect. It was so nice to just be with John and not having any distractions. I hate to admit it but I missed having John to myself.”

“I missed having you to myself too,” John admits, which makes you feel better.

“Look, I know I tease you two a lot,” Tess says, and you both look at her, “But honestly, you two are so cute. You gross me out with how lovey-dovey you can be, but you’re cute.”

You start to laugh, “Oh come on, Tess, let the walls down.”

“Fine!” she huffs before she looks at you with tears in her eyes, “I think you two are so perfect for each other and I’m really happy that you found each other. John is perfect for you, and you’re perfect for him! You’re doing a great job raising your daughter together, and as your big sister, I’m so happy for you, but most of all, I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished these past few years. You have two successful bookshops, you have a bookbinding business that does really well, John teaches classes that are super popular, and not once have you two ever really struggled relationship wise--okay, before you give me that look!” she says when you cock up your brow, “I know you’ve had fights--all couples do! But you know what I mean! You two have never even entertained the thought of breaking up or anything. You have such a great relationship and that is so important for Ro to see. She’s so lucky to have you and John as her parents, and I love you two, okay? God!”

You and John both start to laugh, and Tess gives you a very unimpressed look.

“Why did you say that so aggressively?” John laughs as he walks over to hug Tess, “We love you too.”

You smile, “I love sensitive Tess so much. You should let her out more often.”

Tess is in full tears now, “You two are just so cute, and I’m so in love with Jimmy.”

“We know,” you say, and she pouts, “He’s in love with you too.”

“What does being in love with Jimmy have to do with us?” John asks, and you look at Tess.

She wipes her tears off her face, “Well, because I’m in love and so is Goose, and that’s good.”

“It is very good,” you say, then you rub her shoulder, “Maybe you should go lay down for a few minutes.”

“Yeah, maybe. Oh, and one more thing!” she says aggressively, which makes you and John laugh. “I would love to go to Switzerland, so it’s a yes from me but do I have to pay for it?”

John laughs before shaking his head, “No, it’d be all paid for by us.”

“Well, now I’m gonna cry because that’s really sweet of you! John, you’re the sweetest.” she sniffles as she shuffles off to the living  room, and you widen your eyes and look at John.

John laughs quietly, “Is she okay?”

“Yeah, you know…” you roll your eyes playfully, “Sometimes people are just a little sensitive. Sometimes people are so happy that they cry.”

“Yeah, you sobbed for 15 minutes when you saw a picture of me from when I was little,” he says, and you jut your bottom lip out. “A picture that you had seen many times. I just came into the kitchen to find you with your head on the counter while you cried.”

“You were so cute!” you cup his face and squish his cheeks, “Your dorky little smile was so fucking adorable, and I see so much of Ronan in it. Her nose, her eyes, her little grin, she’s your twin!”

John smiles proudly, “She’s pretty cute.”

“She is,” you wrap your arms around his waist, “So in love with my brown eyed Virgo babies. And by the way, when that happened, I was pregnant. So, you know, I had an excuse. My emotions were everywhere.”

John nods, “Yeah, you were pregnant.”

You widen your eyes and look up at John just as he looks at you, then you walk into the living room to find Tess laying on the couch scrolling through her phone.

“Are you pregnant?”

Tess doesn’t even look at you, she just bursts out laughing, “Fuck no!”

“You sure?”

“Yes,” she sits up on her elbow and looks at you, “Positive.”

You squint your eyes at her and wait for her to crack, but she just stares back. You tilt your head and do a ‘I’m watching you’ motion with your hand, and Tess just laughs.

“Have fun,” she says as you walk back to the kitchen, “I’m not pregnant though.”

John smiles, “You think she’s pregnant?”

“No, I just like to tease her.”

“Hey,” John whispers softly when you start to walk away. He reaches for your hand and pulls you back to him, “Happy anniversary, by the way.”

You tilt your head back and kiss him, “Happy anniversary.”

“Three years, peach.” he says, and you hug him tight, “I’m so glad that we were able to get away and celebrate, but I still want to take a moment to appreciate today, not just because it’s Bug’s birthday. It’s the best day of my life for many reasons.”

“I love you so much.”

John leans into your palm when you cup his face, “Today wouldn’t possible without you.”

“It wouldn’t be without you either.” you say as he smiles, “I don’t get all the credit here.”

“Well, you deserve 50% of it.” he smiles, and you let out a small laugh, “Maybe even more.”

You shake your head, “50% sounds good to me!”

__

The party is pretty much in full swing. Aurelio and his family arrived a little late, but that’s okay. You know what life with a baby is like, so you’re sure life with two kids is even harder. The backyard is full of family and friends, and even staff from the shops. It’s nice that everyone is showing up for your baby girl, who is currently playing in the sprinkler with all the other kids. Thankfully it’s a warm day today.

Ronan will be needing a change of clothes, so after making sure someone has their eye on her and the rest of the kids, you head inside to get some dry clothes for her. Last you saw, John was getting the grill ready, so you’re not surprised when you find the house empty. You head upstairs to Ronan’s room and smile to yourself when you hear laughter coming from the open windows.

“Okay,” you exhale as you walk over to her clothes.

You pick an outfit for her to wear today since it’s her birthday but since she’ll be having cake, she probably shouldn’t wear it right now. You’ll wait to change her after she has her cake. Or maybe you should change her beforehand, get some cute pictures, then let her have cake. You’re not entirely sure, so you stand there for a few minutes staring at her closet.

As you stand there and look at all of Ronan’s clothes, you feel your eyes beginning to burn with tears. They roll down your cheeks when you blink, and you reach out and hold an outfit Ronan wore a few months ago that can no longer fit in.

She’s growing up.

The thought has been on your mind all day, so it’s certainly not new, but…your baby is growing up. She’s not going to be a baby anymore. The thought might not be a new one but it completely breaks you down into tears.

**

Since I got the grill started and some food done, I look around in search of Y/N. I want to make sure that her and Ronan get something to eat. Y/N has been running around all morning trying to make sure everything is perfect for the party today, so I want to make sure that she’s getting food in her. I don’t need her getting dizzy or too hungry. I already know she’s stressed out.

“Hey,” I lightly touch Bev’s shoulder, “Have you seen Y/N?”

She shakes her head, “No, I haven’t, honey.”

I nod and look around the yard. I smile when I see Ronan giggling as she plays in the sprinkler with Finn, and I watch them for a few moments before heading into the house. It’s quiet in here, so I assume she must be either in the bathroom or I’ve missed her outside somehow. I check the bathroom downstairs before I head up to our room. Empty.

“Peach?” I call out, listening to the quiet house. I furrow my brow when I hear a sniffle, and I walk down to Ronan’s room, finding Y/N looking out the window. I walk up behind her, “Hey, food is getting done.”

“Okay,” she says quietly. I lean forward and see a tear roll down her cheek, and I quickly wipe it away, “Baby, are you okay? Hey, look at me. Are you okay?”

She nods, “Yeah.”

I turn her around slowly and look into her bloodshot eyes. She has makeup running down her cheeks too, and she’s clinging to an outfit that Ronan probably hasn’t fit into for at least 3 months. The stress and worry I was feeling melts away, and I feel my entire body soften when I realize why she’s upset.

“I know,” I nod, rubbing her arms as she cries harder, “I don’t want her to grow up either.”

“Why is she doing this to us?” she asks, laughing through her tears.

I smile, “Because she’s going to be the bravest, smartest, kindest, and most beautiful girl in the world, just like her mom. She’s going to do great things and the world deserves to know Ronan Charlotte Wick.”

“I feel like just yesterday we brought her home from the hospital and sat on the couch, stressing about everything we were about to go through.” she says, and I nod. “I remember us sitting there stressing out about how to just feed her and when to feed her.”

I start to laugh, “I remember stressing out about my first night alone with her. I watched Finn alone before but he wasn’t a newborn baby. Ronan was, and I was beyond stressed out. Now it’s a breeze. I love when you’re able to go out and have a nice time and I get to spend it with her. It’s nice. I love building my relationship with her, and everything is just second nature. I don’t question myself. I don’t text or call you every ten minutes asking you if it’s okay if I sit on the couch and hold her instead of laying her in her little DockATot. And a year ago, I wouldn’t have had a fucking clue what a DockATot is. I would have thought it was like…I don’t know, some weird gadget.”

Y/N closes her eyes as she laughs, “It does sound like a weird gadget.”

“It’s a freaking bed. It’s a little lounger for your baby. That’s crazy! And the nose thing that you use to suck out boogers?” I say, and she immediately scrunches up her face, “Yeah, it’s gross, for sure. But I didn’t know that shit a year ago. A year ago, I knew one thing, and that was that I loved that little girl with my entire heart the moment she took her first breath--well, I knew the moment you told me that you were pregnant, but when I held her in my arms, all of the fears that I had went away. I knew in my heart everything was going to be okay because I had you.”

I shouldn’t have said that because it just makes her cry again. But it’s true.

“I had you to help me. I had you by my side. I knew that parenthood wasn’t something to be scared of because you were by my side holding my hand,” I say, reaching for her hand, “I can’t thank you enough for how much happiness you’ve given me since you came into my life three years ago. I am so beyond grateful for you. You are the love of my life.”

Yeah, shouldn’t have said that either. She’s fully crying now with Ronan’s dress pressed to her mouth. She’s fucking precious.

“I love you,” she says, sniffling as she looks up at me, “I am so happy that you’re her dad.”

“Me too.” I laugh, nodding my head, “I’m happy you’re her mom; she has the best role model.”

Y/N juts her bottom lip out, “I can’t believe she’s one. I just want her to be a tiny baby forever.”

Wiping the tear off her cheek, I cup her face, “You know what I’ve learned this past year?”

“What?”

I smile, “No matter how old she gets, she’s always going to be our baby. Whether she’s six months old, six years old, or 36. She will be our baby. We get the privilege of watching her grow up and learn things that we taught her--us, her parents! How lucky is that? I watch you teach her things, then I watch her use that knowledge. Isn’t that amazing?”

“Yeah,” she laughs, sniffling again, “It is, and I see you teach her things too. It’s the best.”

“I know it’s hard watching her grow up, and if I’m honest, I wish we could slow down time. I don’t want this to ever end.” I say, getting misty-eyed, “I absolutely love my life with you two. It’s perfect and it’s far more than I deserve.”

She shakes her head, “You deserve everything, John. You deserve all of this.”

I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight to my chest as we both stand there, sniffling quietly. I press a kiss to the top of her head and lean back to look at her, and she wipes away the tears on her cheek.

“I think part of my issue is, yes, I’m sad she’s growing up, but she’s also getting closer to being a teenager and I’m not ready for that.” she says, and I furrow my brow. She sighs loudly and takes a few steps away before walking back over to me, “My mom and I didn’t always have the best relationship. Mom and daughters can have…complicated relationships. I want to try my best to avoid that.”

“What do you mean?”

Sighing again, she looks at me, “From 13-15 years old, I wasn’t very nice to my mom. I flew off the handle over little things. I was a young girl going through a ton of changes and I, unfortunately, took it out on my mom. I don’t want that for me and Ronan. I want us to always be close. I want to be her mom, but I also want to be her friend. I want her to want to talk to me about things that are bothering her. I bottled up everything and didn’t tell my mom. I struggled silently with so much stuff--what I was going through was nothing compared to Tess, so I just stayed quiet.”

“You can’t compare pain, sweetheart. If something hurts, it hurts. What you were feeling was just as important as what Tess was feeling.” I say, and she nods.

“And I know that now. Tess actually was the one who told me that, and of course mom was so upset when she found out because it’s true, my feelings were just as important.” she says, laughing quietly, “But I’m so scared that Ronan’s going to hate me when she’s a teenager. I don’t want to ever overstep or feel like I’m projecting onto her either. I don’t want her to feel like I’m expecting too much from her. I want us to have a good relationship forever.”

I nod sympathetically, then I rest my hands on her shoulders, “I get it. Ronan is always going to love you; you’re her mom! She’s going to love you forever. But listen to me…there is no use in worrying about things that might or might not happen twelve years from now. There’s no use. You don’t deserve to be sad or stressed out about it.”

“Twelve years really puts it into perspective.” she says, and I smile at her. “You’re right. I should be enjoying this milestone. It’s not a sad day; it’s just bittersweet.”

“I’m not saying you’re not allowed to be sad because trust me, I’m sad. Our baby girl is growing up! She’s already a year old and I hate that.” I say as we both tear up, “She’s getting older and it’s such a bittersweet thing but we’re so lucky to be able to watch her grow and learn. We’re so lucky that we have the most perfect angel of a daughter.”

Y/N laughs, “She really is an angel, isn’t she?”

I gesture to the open window, “Listen to her laughing out there.”

We both go silent and listen as Ronan squeals happily in the sprinkler with all of the other kids. I look back at Y/N and hold her gaze, and she smiles softly at me before leaning up to give me a kiss.

“I love you,” she says, and I pull her closer, “Thank you for making me feel better.”

“I am always going to be here to make you feel better,” I say as she leans against my chest, “Let’s go see our baby girl now.”

Y/N looks up at me, and I put my finger up and take her hand. I bring her into our room, then to our bathroom, all while she looks beyond confused. I lift her onto the counter and get a few of her make-up wipes, then I gently wipe away the makeup staining her cheeks. I look into her eyes and furrow my brow when I see her tearing up again.

“Are you okay?”

“This is the sweetest thing you’ve ever done,” she whispers, and I let out a confused laugh. She gestures to me wiping her makeup off, “This. This is so romantic. It’s tender. It shows me how much you care about me.”

I cup her face, “I care so deeply about you.”

“I know,” she smiles, “I care deeply about you too. God, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

I start to laugh when she tears up and throws her hands up in a playful manner since she’s crying again. I tuck her hair behind her ear and kiss her cheek before hugging her tight. She exhales and looks at me, and I wipe her face off again.

“I’m done crying now.” she says, hopping off the counter and grabbing her makeup bag. “Lemme just fix my makeup quick.”

I watch her as she carefully puts mascara on her lashes--waterproof, she told me--then I smile at her and take her hand before heading back downstairs. The closer we get to the back patio, the louder Ronan’s giggle is, and I smile down at Y/N and see her laughing quietly.

The moment the door opens and we step out, Ronan turns her attention to us and comes running over, screaming for one person in particular who deserves all the love right now.

“Momma!” Ronan screams, running over to Y/N, who kneels down and opens her arms.

“Hi, baby.” she hugs her tight and closes her eyes, “Goodness, I love you so much.”

My heart swells with pride and joy at the sight of my little family. My wife. My daughter. Both so precious, and all mine.

__

“Hey,” I pull Y/N aside and smile, “Think it’s time?”

“I think so.” she nods, then she takes my hand and together we sneak into the house.

I let go of her hand to open the basement door, then I gesture for her to go first and follow behind. I smile when I hear the little meows coming from downstairs, and Y/N gasps and rushes over to the kitten.

“Oh, goodness,” she laughs when she sees the cat covered in wet food, “You’re a bit of a mess, aren’t you?”

I smile, “He’s gonna fit in just fine here.”

“True,” she laughs as she walks to the bathroom to clean him off. “Do you have a box?”

I found a cardboard box and wrapped it up with colorful paper and put a huge bow on it, and some holes for air of course.

“Yeah, I got this one,” I bring it over to the couch and put Baby Cat’s blanket inside, then I smile when Y/N comes out of the bathroom with him as she dries him off. “Can’t wait for her to finally get him so we can stop calling him Baby Cat.”

“Maybe she’ll like that name.”

I grimace, “I hope not.”

“Hey! It look a lot of brain power for me to come up with that,” she jokes, and I playfully swat her knee. She carefully places the kitten into the box and closes it up, then she picks it up and hands it to me. “Here.”

I take the box and carefully go upstairs with it, glancing back to make sure Y/N is following. She holds open the patio door and smiles, looking around for Ronan.

“Ro,” she calls out and waves her over, “We got you a present.”

The poor kitten is going to be passed around to everyone, so hopefully he’s a patient little guy.

Y/N sits down and pats the spot next to her, then she looks at me and pats the spot on her other side. I sit down with the box and smile when I hear a tiny meow coming from it.

“We have another present for you,” she says, and Ronan looks up at her, “But you have to gentle, okay?”

I can tell the family is confused. We didn’t tell them about the little souvenir we brought home from The Bahamas.

Ronan nods her head as Y/N puts her in her lap. She gives me the okay to open the box, and I carefully take the lid off and move it over so Ronan can look in. She lets out a gasp and makes the ‘O’ shape with her mouth as she stares at Y/N with her brown eyes.

“What is that?” I ask, and Ronan leans over again to look. “Is that a kitten?”

“Kitty,” Ronan says, pointing at it, “Momma.”

Y/N laughs, “I see! Isn’t he cute?”

Ronan reaches in with absolutely no hesitation and pets the kitten. When he licks her fingers, she giggles loudly, causing all the other kids to come over and see what’s going on. For the kitten being so tiny, he sure loves all the attention and isn’t at all scared, which will be great because Ronan is like a tornado. We’ll teach her to be gentle with him though.

“This is our new kitten,” Y/N says, and Ronan looks up at her, “What should we name him?”

Ronan just shrugs.

“We’ll give it some time,” I say, and Y/N laughs.

“Oh, stop it!” Tess smiles as she leans down to look at the kitten, “When did you guys get him?”

I look at Y/N before looking at Tess, “While we were in The Bahamas. There were cats everywhere and he was outside our cottage one night. We took him inside and I found where he lived. They said we could keep him.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Y/N puts her hand up and laughs, “No, I kept hearing something around like…two in the morning and I was freaked out thinking it was a serial killer. I finally woke John up and he went outside and found him!”

Tess smiles, “He’s so cute.”

Y/N grins, “I keep calling him Baby Cat but John doesn’t like it.”

“Ronan needs to name him,” I say as Ronan looks at me, “What’s his name?”

Ronan looks at him like she’s really thinking it through, then she shrugs again.

I laugh, “We’ll figure out eventually.”

Anything is better than Baby Cat. Okay, I’ll admit, Baby Cat is kind of growing on me, but I won’t dare tell Y/N.

“Toes,” Ronan says, and everyone looks at her, “Toes!”

We all look confused for a moment before Y/N and I lock eyes, immediately figuring it out when she says it again.

“Toast!” Y/N and I both say in unison.

“Is his name Toast?” I ask, and Ronan smiles as she nods proudly. “Toast.”

Ronan continues talking to the kitten, calling him Toast over and over, and I smile when Y/N looks at me. We both start to laugh since of course our daughter would name her kitten Toast. We have a fish named Dada and now a cat named Toast. I can’t wait to see what else she names our future pets.

__

**

The rest of the day went really well. You cried like a baby when Ronan blew out her candles, then you cried again when she tried to feed John a piece of cake, but that time it was from the laughter. She opened her presents and instantly wanted to play with them and share them with the other kids at the party, but of course she was quick to run back to you and John to show you all her special things she got.

As the party started to die down, so did Ronan. She was trying her best to stay awake, but she eventually fell asleep on the couch tucked into John’s arms while you all sat around and talked. The kitten was tucked in there too until you moved him into the guest bedroom for now.

“I admire her strength,” your mom says when you look at her, “She was holding on for dear life, just fighting to keep those eyelids open.”

You laugh as you look at Ronan in John’s arms, who is also asleep. You smile to yourself as you look at those two just sleeping away. John is still holding Ronan but he has his head propped up by his right hand. It’s going to slip soon and he’ll jolt himself awake.

There isn’t anything to clean up since your family and friends were kind enough to help clean up and take home leftover food and cake. You’ve been up since five this morning, so you’re ready to lay down in bed.

You rest your head against your mom’s shoulder and close your eyes, “Sorry for being so shitty when I was a teenager.”

“What?” she laughs, and you look at her.

“When I was a teenager, I was really shitty to you.” you say, shrugging your shoulder, “So, I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Your mom sits up and furrows her brow, completely bewildered as to why you’re bringing this up. She looks past you at Ronan and nods slowly before looking back at you.

“It was tough, but I didn’t take it personal.” she says, and you nod as you tear up, “All that we went through then was so worth it. The relationship that we have now? It was worth all the screaming, eye rolling, and door slamming.”

You laugh, “I slammed my door once.”

“Damn right it was once. I shut that down right away.” she says as you laugh, then she reaches for your hand, “I was a young girl once too. I knew exactly how it felt to be fifteen once. Admittedly, I should have checked in with you and it’s something that bothered me for a very long time as you grew up, so I apologize for that and I hope you can forgive me for that. I’m so lucky to have such a kind and beautiful daughter who I can call my friend.”

You look down as you cry, then you nod, “Yeah.”

“I know you won’t make my mistake, and I know you’ll always be there for Ronan.”

“You were a single mom, you had a job that was so demanding, you had just adopted another kid.” you say, and she nods, “You had a lot on your plate and I knew that. I always knew. I never thought you didn’t love me or something. I knew you did--I know you do. I’m glad to say you’re my mom. You’re an incredible mom. All my friends wished that you’d adopt them too because everyone loved you, me included! I want to be just like you when I grow up.”

She laughs, “I’m flattered, but you’re quite amazing yourself, sweetheart.”

You start to laugh as you look over at Ronan, then you look back at your mom, “I don’t want her to grow up. She’s my baby.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” she says, holding your gaze, then she reaches for your hand, “But look at you, all grown up and with your own daughter now. But no matter what, one thing will never ever change: you will always be my baby.”

Which is exactly what John said about Ronan earlier.

Nodding your head, you look at her as you both tear up, then you lean over to hug her. She holds tight to you and rubs your back, then she kisses your cheek before getting up from the couch. You look over at John as he opens his eyes and stretches out, and you give him a knowing smile because he definitely wasn’t asleep the whole time--come on, no one has that perfect of timing. Not even John Wick.

“Heading out?” John asks, and your mom nods. “I’ll walk you out to your car.”

“Oh, no need.” she smiles, touching his arm when he stands up. “You two go snuggle that little girl.”

You laugh, “It’s only 6 PM. I’m half tempted to wake her up, so she’s not up at 4 in the morning looking to play with her new toys while John and I are still passed out from running on 4 hours of sleep.”

John hugs your mom and looks out the window to wave at Dan, who is talking with Jimmy in the driveway. John looks at you and bounces Ronan a little, and you turn to your mom and hug her, holding on tight.

“I love you and I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become.” she whispers softly, “One day you’ll be hugging Ronan--”

“Nope!” you laugh as you let go of her, “I don’t want to think about her being an adult. Nope, nope, nope.”

John laughs when your mom playfully widens her eyes and grimaces. She leans down to give Ronan a kiss, then she grabs her bag and waves before walking to the door. You turn to John and exhale sharply, looking down at Ronan in his arms.

“I am…so exhausted.”

“I just had a nice nap,” John says, and you cock up your brow. “Okay, so I wasn’t sleeping when you two started talking but I didn’t want to be rude and I also didn’t want to ruin the moment, which was very sweet.”

You walk over to him and pucker your lips for a kiss, “Can we just hang out the rest of the night?”

“Absolutely,” he nods, then he shifts Ronan a little, “But I have to put her down.”

“I think that she should sleep with us tonight,” you say as you move her brown hair out of her face, “I just want to fall asleep with my two favorite people.”

John nods his head in agreement, “I think that sounds like a fantastic plan.”

Since you’ll probably come back downstairs to get something to eat later, you only turn off a few lights. You let Bleu out to use the bathroom and give him some food as well, then you head up to your room. John carefully changes Ronan into some pajamas and out of her fluffy pink dress that is slightly covered in dirt and cake, then he lays her in the center of the bed where she immediately snuggles down.

You change into something more comfortable, then you sit on the bed and look at John as he just stands there a little awkwardly. You furrow your brow and watch as he walks over to the closet, then he digs through it and pulls out a box.

“So, uh…”

“Jonathan!” you quietly scold him, “We already did anniversary gifts.”

He shakes his head, “This isn’t an anniversary gift. It’s something I’ve been working on for a while now, well, for about a year.”

You start to get up but he shakes his head and sits down next to you on the bed. He hands over the box and gestures for you to open it, and you nudge his arm before playfully rolling your eyes. You take the top off the box and reach into the tissue paper, and your fingers wrap around what feels like a book.

Pulling your hand out of the box, you look down at the book and immediately smile, “Our Baby’s First Year.”

John scoots closer and wraps his arm around your waist, “Open it.”

Flipping the book open, you feel tears burning your eyes when you see the very first picture ever taken of Ronan. Her wrinkly little hands and soft skin, just a few moments old. You turn the page and see a photo of Ronan's first smile, captured at just two months old. It's hard to believe how small she was back then, but you can still remember the moment vividly.

As you continue flipping through the pages, you see all of Ronan's milestones--her first steps, her first words, and even her first Christmas. Each moment is captured beautifully. You turn the page again and let out a laugh when you see it’s filled with twelve selfies of John and Ronan--one for every month.  

“Shut up,” you laugh, pointing to the one of her at eight months old where she’s smiling at John, “Look at how much she loves you.”

“Look at how much she loves you.” he says, flipping the page.

You immediately slap your hand over your mouth when you see the pages covered in images of you and Ronan that John has taken every single month, pictures that you didn’t even know he had taken.

“I snuck pictures all the time, I still do,” he says softly, “I had to have Tess help me because I kept getting a notification about my phone storage. She told me that I had too many pictures saved. I couldn’t tell you because…”

You nod when he gestures to the book, “John, remember what I said earlier about wiping off my makeup?”

He laughs, “Yeah. Definitely not even in the top ten sweetest things I’ve done. I didn’t do it to be sweet. I just wanted to help you feel better.”

“It was definitely sweet, but this…” you look down at the book and flip through the pages, “This is beyond sweet. I don’t…I don’t even have words. Thank you so much.”

John presses a kiss to your temple, “You’re very welcome.”

This book is a testament to all of the joy that Ronan has brought into your lives, and you know that it will be treasured for years to come. You’re already planning on putting it on the coffee table and making every single person look at it when they come over, not only because your baby is gorgeous and the most precious thing on the planet, but John took a lot of time to put it together.

Closing the book gently, you place it on the nightstand and lean into John's embrace. All the anxiety you had been feeling earlier about Ronan growing up has passed. It’s been a quick year but a great one. She’s happy and healthy, as are you and John. What more could you ask for?

Well, you know one thing.

You lean back and look at John, a smile growing on your face, “Want a piece of cake?”

“Why did I think you were going to ask if I wanted to have another baby?”

You scoff as you get up from the bed, “Patience, Mr. Wick.”

John smiles when you look back at him, “Okay, okay. You did say that we would start trying when Ronan would start potty training though.”

Turning back around, you lean against the door frame and hold his gaze, both of you smiling like absolute idiots. You smile at him as he turns to face you more, and you cross your arms and laugh a little.

“Well,” you shrug as you glance over at Ronan, then you look back at him, “I guess we only have to wait six more months then.”

Pure joy rips through John as he gets up and rushes over to you, lifting you up as you both laugh. You look over his shoulder and see Ronan still completely zonked out on the bed, and you close your eyes and hold tight to John as he carries you down the kitchen for a much deserved slice of cake.

__

taglist: @lilithlinen @ladyren33 @multifandombliss @ruby-octo @tnu-ree @scream-queen-25 @beingnerdyissupercool @sakurachan-9

[its-your-mind]

11 year old Gerry Kaey - a psychological analysis

[ID: screenshot from a spreadsheet of two columns and two rows. The first column is labeled “First Name,” with “Gerard” listed below it. The second column is labeled “Last Name,” with “Kaey” listed below it. End ID]

Like everyone else, I was of course delighted by the presence of our beloved arsonist on our list of child test-subjects at the World Line 2 Magnus Institute (not delighted that he was having unethical psychology experiments performed on him, delighted by his presence. though it’s possible that this was actually a better childhood than he had with Mary. but I digress.)

(Data set can be found here, if anyone else wants to make a copy and play with it, and this post has my fave analysis of the sheet itself)

The data for Gerard Kaey was absolutely delightful, and it indicated more than almost anything else that some people were in fact the same (or very similar) across world lines. I was going to post about it and then I remembered that not everyone was forced to take a slightly outdated Educational Psychology class recently, and thus the random names at the top would not be indicators of fuckin anything without extensive Googling.

I figured trolling the internet for details on outdated developmental psychology theories and unethical sociology experiments is not most people’s idea of a fun afternoon (tho in the magnus fandom you never know); either way I figured I’d pull out the fun and interesting data on this goth child and translate it into human terms for us all to enjoy.

(QUICK NOTE: Pretty much all of these theories are outdated on account of being No Good and quite reductive and many of the experiments are EXTREMELY fucked up (all of which makes sense, given where these fictional data came from). If you’re curious about any of the actual psychological theories and criticisms, here’s a relatively jargon free summary, with further reading at the bottom. I’m gonna follow the time-honored tradition of psychology professors and say “well it sucks and was bad that this happened BUT it did happen and we might as well use the data to come to some general conclusions and/or ask better questions, especially about the people performing those tests in the first place.” anyway ty for coming to my TED talk ONTO THE GERRY DATA)

[ID: screenshot from a spreadsheet of three columns and two rows. The first column is labeled “Kholberg,” with “Level 3” listed below it. The second column is labeled “Prosocial,” with “High” listed below it. The third column is labeled “Empathy Index,” with “95%” listed below it. End ID]

Let’s start here.

Kholberg’s Theory of Moral Development is a metric for measuring the moral development in children. It has three stages. A child who has reached the “third stage” demonstrates a consideration of the needs and feelings of others when making morality-based decisions and judgements, even above the norms and expectations of society.

Prosocial behavior is behavior that can be characterized as having no direct benefit to the person performing an action; something done entirely for the good of others.

Empathy Index is pretty self-explanatory (as far as I can tell, it’s not actually based on anything and is something the researchers created just for this experiment).

So far, we’ve got a rough picture of Gerry as a kid who has a strong moral compass, who is quick to help, even when there’s no benefit for himself. Who considers what the people around him might want or need. Who is able to throw social expectation out the window when someone else is in need.

Reminds me of that older, slightly different version of himself, sitting alone at a table in Venice, wearing a Hawaiian shirt because he’s “on vacation,” sighing in exasperation at the interruption and telling a stranger to think of her mother.

[ID: screenshot from a spreadsheet of two columns and two rows. The first column is labeled “Milgram,” with “Low” listed below it. The second column is labeled “Asch,” with “Low” listed below it. End ID]

These are my favorite rows. They’re all the way at the end of the spreadsheet, which kind of makes me imagine that the testers had this image of a highly developed child, a kid who seemed perfect for whatever they had planned. And then…

Milgram was the motherfucker who ran the experiment where people were told to press a button, and when they did, another participant was delivered an electric shock. (there wasn’t actually a shock in Milgram’s experiment, just an actor pretending to be shocked. The socks were fake, but the psychological damage was real!) The test was designed to measure how long people would continue to do what they were told by the “scientist” running the test, even as the electric shock appeared to grow stronger. A “low” score is indicative of someone who bailed out ASAP, no matter what the test-runner said.

The Asch Conformity Experiment put a large number of people in the room (most of whom were actors) and showed them a series of images of lines with different lengths, and they had to identify which was longest. The actors all gave the correct answer for the first few, and then all of them started to give the exact same wrong answer (i.e. all of them would say B, even if Line A was clearly longest). The test measured how likely a subject was to conform to the group opinion, even when they knew the people around them were objectively wrong, if they were the only one offering a different (but correct) answer over the course of several rounds of images.

I have this super clear image of little Gerry in a ratty pair of jeans and a band t-shirt, long hair absolutely unbrushed, walking into a room with a dude in a lab coat and someone else strapped to a chair and IMMEDIATELY getting suspicious, and just refusing to press the button again once he realized what it did, leaving the actors just… lost as to how to proceed. And then with the Asch test, he’s just sitting there with a look of incredulity on his face looking at the people around him and saying “do you people need fucking glasses all of a sudden? it’s not fucking B.” and just ignoring them for the rest of the test.

and all of the Magnus people who had been VERY excited about this promising young person all of a sudden realizing that they have accidentally recruited a VERY intelligent juvenile delinquent.

so there you have it! World Line 2 Gerry Kaey was kind when he didn’t have to be, he didn’t give a shit how other people felt about him, he cared deeply for other people, UNLESS of course they were people in authority, in which case he told them to go fuck themselves.

*dreamy sigh* that’ll be our Gerard

final fun notes:

Gerry has the second highest number on the Empathy Index at 95%

The only kid who beat him, with a score of 98%, was 9 year old “Samara Khalid”

10 year old “Conner Dyer” scored “Low” on the Milgram and Asch tests JUST like Gerry. I wonder if they were friends.

Other than that, Dyer is almost exactly average among the rest of the data

Khalid scored “High” on both Milgram and Asch

Wonder how that’s gonna affect things 👀👀👀 high empathy, high value on what other people think

Sam thats so autistic of you I love u

Khalid was also on “Level 3” of Kholberg and had “High” levels of Prosocial behavior, despite being only 9 (super young to have the abstract thinking necessary for that)

[chanbig]

Shelter

Rating: E

Relationship: Big x Chan

Summary:

Left behind to fend for themselves when a business meeting goes awry at the Port of Bangkok, Big and Chan seek shelter together from an incoming rainstorm.

After surviving the gunshot wounds he took for Porsche, Big has finally fallen out of love with Kinn. There's only one problem—during their months spent together in recovery, he has fallen for someone else, just as unreachable: Chan.

Read on ao3

[the-sun-and-the-sea]

Summary:

He has no choice, not really. If Annie can go home, never see the Capitol again, he'd do anything to make it happen.

Or: After Annie's victory, President Snow makes Finnick an offer he can't refuse.

[menaceoffandoms]

LMK analysis rant: What happened to the great companions?

Since the release of season 5 and discovering the nature of the cycles, I've head cannoned that the knowledge we as viewers have of the Journey to the West from the novel was what happened in a previous cycle of the shows world. This makes sense to me since several things we see in the show, whilst being inspired or referenced from the original novel, are very different from the source material.

Whilst each cycle is different, they all have to be somewhat similar, given how Nuwa insists that "they will all live again". Or at least that's how I take it. I started really thinking about this because I wanted to know what happened to the great companions -- other than Sun Wukong -- since everyone has been reincarnated more or less.

It seemed weird to me seeing as one of the rewards from completing the Journey is enlightenment and true immortality. If all the companions became immortal, then how did they die and get reincarnated? How did that work and why is Wukong the only one left?

Now, all my knowledge of the jttw comes from Overly Sarcastic Productions videos, which I highly recommend you watch if you haven't, but since the novel is so long their summary isn't finished yet. So, I decided to look up how the story ends. What I found was rather interesting...

The main set up for the great companions is pretty simple. Tang Sanzang is the monkest monk in the east who the Goddess Guanyin picks for the quest, Sha Wujing was a disgraced Celestial General looking for redemption after breaking something in a fit of rage and getting banished for it, Zhu Bajie was also a disgraced Celestial General who got Drunk and hit on Chang'e too much which got him banished (which isn't that hilarious when compared to Pigsy in the show), Ao Lie was sentenced to death by the Jade Emperor for accidently burning his Dads palace but Guanyin got his changes dropped and Sun Wukong was Sun Wukong. So basically, 4 out of 5 of the group are looking for redemption and Tang Sanzang is their baby sitter. They keep him alive and he shows them the Buddest way. The Journey it the important part of the story, hence the novels name, but every tale has it's end.

So, what happens at the end of the Journey to the West?

Welp with the scriptures delivered the gang is rewarded by gaining places in Heaven. Tang Sanzang and Sun Wukong ascend to Buddhahood, Shu Wujing and Ao Lie become Arhats (a few steps down from Buddhahood) and Zhu Bajie, who is unable to let go of his base desires, becomes an alter cleaner. They all get immortality basically, even tho Zhu Bajie doesn't reach enlightenment like the others, so none of them should be able to die.

Obviously, I've already said that the events of the novel are from a different cycle -- things are different in LMK -- but now I'm even more curious as to what happened to the other great companions. Sun Wuknog in the show doesn't seem have reached Buddahood -- that wouldn't be interesting for plot reasons cause then he'd be all powerful and all knowing -- and all his friends are dead! What the fuck.

The likely explanation is probably something lame, like the reward they all got for completing the journey was a lot less grand or the friendship they forged was the real reward or their places in heaven didn't come with immortality attached. There are multiple kinds of immortality -- agelessness, super hard to kill and completely unkillable -- so the other companions could have all been killed at some point even if they did get immortality technically, which would be really interesting for Wukong honestly!

Shu Wujing and Zhu Bajie are characterised as demons in LMK (which isn't accurate to the novel but they are seen as monstrous so fair) so the two of them having the ageless/hard to kill kind of Demon immortality I imagine DBK and Red Son have makes sense. I've heard some theories that Sandy is Shu Wujing -- as in the same one who went on the journey and not a reincarnation -- but I think the show has a lot of evidence against that.

Dragons are super important in Chinese myth and are defiantly immortal in the show, seeing as we've met the Great Dragon of the East, but whether or not they can be killed is very up in the air. There aren't any myths where a dragon dies and they can apparently "shed their mortal bodies" which could mean Ao Lie's spirit is still lingering around and has maybe attached itself to Mei, but then that begs the question of why he would leave his body behind in the first place. Just like with the theory about Shu Wujing, I have seen some theories that Ao Lie is still alive -- given that Mei isn't his reincarnation as I've covered in a different rant -- but if he was still alive I think introducing him to us in the scroll in s4 wouldn't mean as much.

Tang Sanzang is completely mortal so if enlightenment doesn't equal immortality then his death makes perfect sense. He is also the reincarnation of Golden Cicada -- one of the Buddha's original disciples who was punished for not listening to him, forcing him to live out 10 mortal lives in the east before being given a chance to re-enter "paradise" as Tang Sanzang -- which is interesting but doesn't really help us figure this stuff out. It just reinforces the reincarnation thing honestly.

Sun Wukong is obviously still alive in LMK and his entire motivation at the start of the novel -- even more so in the show I'd argue -- was to become immortal and never die, which he succeeds at before the journey even starts. Him being unable to die is the whole reason he's sent on the journey at all, seeing as the Jade Emperor can't execute him for his crimes and I don't think anyone expected that mountain to hold him down forever.

So... What killed the great companions?

Something dramatic I'm hoping. I can defiantly see the five of them risking their lives to protect the world, all of them dying except Sun Wukong for obvious reasons, or maybe just 4 of them did the sacrifice whilst Wukong kicked ass. There's a lot of angst potential here to be unpacked that I would love to see someone take advantage of, especially if in someway their deaths were Wukong's fault. It would give reason to why he stayed in isolation after sealing away DBK or even for why the Heavenly host doesn't seem to like him at all despite his redemption.

I did a lot of research for this but I'm no expert, just an enthusiast, so I'm sure I've messed somethings up. I've tried to source where I got my information from but I'm also dyslexic and probably have some undiagnosed neurodivergence effecting my attention span so research is kind hard for me, but I've tried my best.

I'm very interested to hear what other people have to say about this. I doubt it'll be covered in the show, but then again I didn't think self sacrifice would be a major plot point so who knows! I think covering the deaths of all of Wukong's friends would be a bit too dark but anything can happen! I just hope it's interesting.

[saturdaynightghostclub]

Highway Hypnosis

Chapter 2: Cold Water

Joshua Cook–Joshy–is the son of Evergreen’s postmaster. He and Jasper Stevens and I used to run around at the creek together looking for smooth stones, which we’d put in old spaghetti sauce jars filled with water so that we could open them and know the smell of the river whenever we wanted. There were only eight kids our age in the whole of Evergreen, and these were the ones I chose. I lost Jasper the summer before I stopped visiting–he got all moody and started smoking cigarettes with his older brother’s friends behind the old chapel. Joshy said it was puberty, but I thought eleven was too young for that sort of thing even then. That was the way things went for us, so I stayed in touch with Joshy through sporadic emails and birthday cards and I let Jasper go. I hope the two of them stayed friends. Joshy is supposed to meet me at Uncle Len’s house; his father was entrusted with the key, and Joshy was entrusted with my wellbeing.

The house is just as I remember it. Built on a hill, like Noah’s Ark, so that the rain doesn’t flood the garden and drown the hydrangeas. Len painted the whole thing green when he bought the place, and to his credit he seems to have kept up with it. It’s small and eclectic, even from the outside, but it’s his. It’s him, and now it’s me and it’s mine. I get out of the car to stretch my legs and end up on the front steps with my back pressed into the edge of the porch. I look out at my feet in their white shoes–too white for a place called Evergreen, population 1200–and the crunch of gravel drags my eyes to the face of Joshua Cook, which is attached to a much taller and more athletic-looking Joshy than I remember.

“That can’t be our Homecoming Queen,” he calls, shielding his eyes from the sun as he trudges up the drive. I was never anybody’s homecoming queen, but he coined the nickname when we were young enough to rationalize that, because I was a girl who came home (“home” being a relative term) every summer, I must be his.

“Joshy,” I smile, standing to meet him. He hugs me tight, a real it’s-been-too-long type of hug.

“I’m sorry about Len,” he says because he has to, and then, even though he doesn’t have to, “you must be sick to death of hearing that.” I smile and nod.

“A little. Helps when I know you actually mean it,”

Joshy digs around in his pocket for a moment before producing a ring of keys. He dangles it before me, enticing me to take it, and I do. They’re regular keys, by which I mean they’re the size and shape of everyday house keys, but I swear to God they’ve got the weight and history of cast-iron skeleton keys, like something you’d use to unlock that little room off to the side of the Cathedra where they’re supposed to keep the relics. I haven’t been a religious woman since I was old enough to know better, but for a split-second holding these keys feels like standing on the precipice of something–Heaven or Hell, I don’t yet know.

“I can head home if you want some time to settle in, but if you wanted to take a little walk into town with me, I could introduce you to some people before my shift?” Joshy says, half-question and half-suggestion, “Or maybe re-introduce you? Not much has changed around here since you left.”

“Sure,” I say, “I’m in no rush.”

Joshy is as lively and chipper as I remember, perhaps in compensation for the less-than-cheerful circumstances of our reunion. He’s grown into what my mother would call a Fine Young Man, with broad shoulders and deep brown skin. He’s wearing jeans and sensible Washingtonian boots with a soft, oversized T-shirt. His presence, as ever in step with mine, puts me at ease; he is the boy who pushed me into the river, and I am the girl who pulled him in after me.

Gradually, I am re-introduced to Margaret at the bar, Jefferson at the roadside fruit stand, and Joshy’s father Leo at the post office. The counter at the general store, which is apparently owned by a woman named Melanie, currently houses a pair of long legs whose associated body is obscured by a comically large newspaper. The owner of the paper does not lower it as we enter, and Joshy rolls his eyes.

“I’m sure you remember Moss,” he says. I don’t.

“Moss?”

“Yep. Slow to grow on you,” he explains, “put it down, asshole.”

The person–Moss–lowers the paper to reveal a lanky, dark-haired man about my own age. His eyes are big and brown, and I know them. They chased me around trees and hid behind blindfolds during silly childhood games. Before I can identify them, their owner speaks.

“Eleven years,” he says. I’m taken aback–firstly, that he appears to have kept track of the passage of time since our last interaction, and secondly that he seems instantly and acutely aware of the fact that he knows me at all.

I nod, unsure of what else to do. “Almost exactly,” I reply. The man, who I now recognize as Jasper Stevens, hasn’t broken eye contact with me since he stood up. It’s an almost competitive stare, as if daring me to break first. I’m struck at once by the desire, left over from childhood, to shove him squarely backward into the counter and the inexplicable twentysomething urge to bury myself in his arms. It’s an aspect of my psychology that I’ve never been able to come to terms with, the innate need to seek comfort from those most unwilling to give it. The absolute knowledge, beyond all reasonable doubt, that whatever’s wrong with me will be fixed if the most withholding person in the room can only take a moment’s interest in me.

Jasper tilts his head to the side, resembling for a moment a particularly precocious cocker spaniel, and then speaks again. “Are you sticking around, Andie?”

“I think so,” I say, “at least for a while.”

“You think so?”

“I know. I am,” I say stupidly, clocking all at once that, assuming Jasper works at the general store full-time, I’ll probably have to see him every time I need groceries or ant traps or hand soap. Maybe I should reconsider. Jasper only nods, though.

“That’s good. I have something of Len’s, if you’ll be around I can give it to you.”

Joshy clears his throat, glancing between us with the nervous, fluttering air of someone who’s watching their in-laws and their parents interact for the first time. “Andie, are you okay if I head out? I told Janie I’d meet her before my shift,” he says. I recall that Janie is the name of Joshy’s longtime girlfriend, and smile inwardly. Joshy and Janie.

“Totally, I’ll head back to the house in a bit.”

“Call you tomorrow,” Joshy says, squeezing my shoulder before he leaves. As the bell above the door sounds its hair-raising alarm, I’m hit by the unwelcome realization that he could have been lying. I’m not sure what puts the idea in my head; there’s certainly no reasonable basis for it. Anyway, it would be an innocuous lie, so why am I suddenly uneasy? I roll my shoulders back and straighten my spine, standing tall against I don’t know what, and watch him go before turning back to Jasper.

The boy–it’s so difficult to see a man as anything else when you’ve known him in childhood–is gazing at me thoughtfully. No, not at me–through me. For one ridiculous moment I find myself wondering if he can see the inside of my brain, the panic of thoughts rushing through it, if he’s standing inside of it and letting it flow around him like a current. Then he changes. His face softens, like someone who’s just realized all their yelling is probably scaring the children in the vicinity, and I think for a moment that he might smile.

“Long drive, you must be tired,” he says gently.

“Exhausted,” I reply, “I think I’ve been hallucinating since Idaho.”

Jasper nods, oddly serene. “My shift ends in fifteen. If you hang out for a little bit I’ll drive you home.”

It’s a tempting offer, but something about the prospect of getting into a car with him, however short the drive may be, activates some kind of winged beast in me that beats against my ribcage in protest. “I’ve spent so much time in the car lately, I’d rather walk. Thank you, though.”

Jasper, again, nods his understanding. “Hang out anyway? For old times’ sake?”

“Why are you trying to keep me here?” I ask, trying halfheartedly to stifle the note of suspicion that threatens my speech. Jasper shrugs.

“I blew it the last time, and you never came back. I don’t like to repeat my mistakes.”

[little-pup-pip]

Build-A-Bear Chococat!!

[sagesfandomspot]

New baby, new jobs, new city, new opportunities. Adulthood snuck up on Rory and Jess, but now that it's here, they're pretty happy. Content, even. What will life throw at them now? Only time will tell.

[remapped-soul]

HELLO <3

23 - sebchal - Who's more likely to convince the other to stay in bed come morning?

28 - What are there thoughts on pet names? Do they have any?

or

Who would end a heated argument by defending their actions with ‘because I love you!’ ?

sico or brocedes <3

and

48 (as a fun one)

so i wrote a wonderful reply to this and lost it all bc tumblr crashed. yay. I'm slightly less angry now so here we go again. i split the answer in two bc each prompt got too long :)) i'l tag you in the brocedes. this one is sebchal. love you <3

Who's more likely to convince the other to stay in bed come morning?

Of course, it's Charles, even though he's not the one who retired. It's Sebastian who gets up at ass-crack at dawn to feed the chickens if they are in Switzerland or to feed and walk Bruno if they are in Monaco. He never leaves Bruno behind, not when he gets to see Charles playing with him. Sebastian doesn't use an alarm clock, too used to the routine by now. Charles can't get up without one, and yet, whenever Seb stirs, Charles clings to him like an overgrown plush octopus, muttering "five more minutes, Seb, please". He buries his nose in Seb's collarbones, legs tangled together, so Seb decides that being five minutes late to start his day can't hurt. He pets Charles' hair and kisses his forehead and draws circles on his naked back until Charles' breath evens out and Seb can get out of bed. No one wants Bruno to pee on their hardwood floors.

Other times, Charles is sleepy and soft and flushed. He doesn't cling to Sebastian, he simply turns toward Seb in bed, blinks unfocused eyes at him as Seb drinks his glass of water. Seb takes one look at him and decides his morning routine can wait. He returns to bed and he presses Charles into the mattress until Charles gasps softly against his lips, flushed and oh, so lovely.

28. What are their thoughts on pet names? Do they have any?

They like them, but they don't overuse them. Charles used to blush at first, even when he couldn't grasp their meaning. Sebastian would say "Can you pass me the salt, liebling?" or "Don't forget to take the trash out, schatz", and Charles' body flushed all over, blinking owlishly at him. Even now, years after Charles learned to speak German, he still gets warm all over when Sebastian calls him anything but his name.

Charles being Charles which means being Monegasque, he called Sebastian mon chéri and mon chou after their first dates. He can't help himself. Affection is built into the language he is speaking. It sent Sebastian into a laughing fit, and Charles wanted to hide under the table, embarrassed beyond words. Now, Charles uses them mostly to make Seb smile.

Other times, when they are away from the prying eyes of the camera and their friends, in the privacy of their homes, Charles calls Sebastian sweetheart because he loves how pretty Sebastian blushes, how pliant he becomes in Charles' arms, ready to be loved, easy to be loved.

When they've been apart for too long, time zones and continents and races gone bad stretching endlessly between them, Sebastian whispers mon coeur against the speaker of his phone. Charles' breath stutters, a tiny gasp disrupted by static. Sebastian whispers, "Mon coeur, I'm here" and sometimes it's enough to get Charles through another morning, another day, another race.

48. Who's the better driver? (aka the promp i completely lost it thinking about seb driving)

When asked about it, Charles will always say it's Sebastian. He doesn't specify if he means F1 or other cars because he is no fool. In Monaco or in Thurgau, Sebastian takes the wheel and Charles turns into a professional passenger, body relaxed, eyes kept deceptively focused on the road ahead. Sebastian driving is a sight to behold. Leaned back in his seat, lips slightly parted, tongue pressed against his teeth, sleeves rolled up to his elbows as his forearm muscles flexed with every turn. He doesn't grip the steering wheel. He stirs it with the tip of his fingers, gently, until he takes a tighter corner and his fingers close around the leather in a careful grip. Charles' mouth goes dry, shifts in his seat. Sebastian grins the way he used to when he was winning for Ferrari, ferocious and invincible as if he knows what he's doing to Charles. As if he is doing it on purpose. Then he asks if Charles has any idea if they can pick up the cake from the bakery or if Bruno has enough food at home. Infuriating. It makes Charles bang his head against the windshield and parts his legs just a little bit wider to make the trip more comfortable without properly adjusting himself. He doesn't look again at Seb.

If they fuck about it later in the car, Charles' thighs splayed around Seb's lap, hand around his neck, no one needs to know.

obligatory otp asks! <- send me any number from here + a ship!

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 171

warnings: nsfw hmh masterlist

It’s been about three weeks since Logan has moved in with you, and it’s been pretty good. He kept to himself a lot that first week but when he did want to talk, he confided in John, which was really nice to see. You were just happy that he was talking to someone about what was going on. When Tonya was here, Logan kept to himself, which you were happy about since she’s a demon and you didn’t want Logan around her.

Today, John and Logan been sitting on the dock and chatting. It’s not that you’re not included when he wants to talk, but with John saying he sees himself in Logan, it makes more sense for him to talk to him about what’s going on.

A smile breaks across John’s face as he and Logan walk up to the house, and you get butterflies when he looks at you--no matter what, that man can turn you into mush. You grin wide and immediately wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him, hugging him tight. Ronan squeals and rushes over to Logan when he leans down to hug her. You kiss John one more time then you let go and look at Logan.

“She’s ready for some shopping.”

John rubs your sides, “You’re going shopping?”

“Yeah, Logan needs some things, so we thought we’d go to the shopping center in Brighton.” you say as you start to smile, “Do you want to come with us?”

“I mean,” he scratches the back of his neck and shrugs--he’s so damn cute. “I’m not doing anything else.”

You start to laugh, “Well, yeah, as long as we’re your last resort.”

“Stop!” he wraps his arm around your shoulders and hugs you tight to his side, “Of course I want to hang out with you. I just didn’t want to invite myself along.”

You playfully roll your eyes at John before you reach down and pick up Ronan. You gather up your things and head to the car with Logan and John, and you get Ronan into her car seat. Logan crawls into the back despite your protests to take it, and John smiles when you look at him.

“So, Logan,” you look over your shoulder at him, “Jimmy said he helped you get your bank stuff figured out.”

“Yeah, it was super easy. I wish I had just done that from the start but my dad…”

You nod your head, giving him a soft smile, “I get it. But it’s all taken care of now, so that’s good. It’s all your money. You can do whatever you want with it.”

Since Logan’s money was in his parent’s bank account, they wouldn’t allow him access to his last paycheck. They threatened legal action that probably really wouldn’t do shit but it just stressed out Logan, so he cut his losses. He said he had quite a bit of money in it since he never really bought anything for himself, but he also said he had been stashing his money. He’d get out money every few days and hide it away in his room.  

Not only did Greg threaten legal action about that, but he also did with John punching him too. John isn’t too worried about that and says that he’ll either give it up or the court will throw it out.

Since getting all new clothes, a phone, and any other little things would completely eat up what little money he did have, you and John decided to pay for his things. It’s not a big deal and it took the stress off of Logan, which is what you want. Making this transition as stress free as you can is what you want more than anything.

You glance over your shoulder at Logan as you head down the street, and he looks over at his house. There’s a For Sale sign in the yard now that makes you all perk up. You furrow your brow when you look at John, and he shrugs his shoulders and tilts his head giving you a “Good riddance” kind of look.

“Guess they’re moving.” Logan says, his voice quiet and sad.

You look back at Logan, “Do you think your sister will be okay?”

Logan nods as he looks down, “They never were…mean to her. It was always me. She’ll be fine.”

Leaving another child in the house isn’t the best thing but Logan is certain that she’ll be fine. It’s apparent that Logan was the one who was abused. Even from what you witnessed, his sister was a very loved child.

“Hey,” you reach back and take his hand, smiling softly, “Everything is going to be so much better now.”

“Yeah,” he smiles at you before he sits back and looks out the window.

John takes a deep breath and looks over at you, then he reaches for your hand and gives you a small smile, silently reassuring you that everything will be okay.

__

“Do you remember…” John stands in front of you and smiles, “When we came here--”

“And I met Jen and was insanely jealous because I couldn’t figure out why you had broken up with her--she’s hot--and gotten with me.” you start to laugh, rolling your eyes playfully, “It’s a vague memory.”

John chuckles as he leans down to kiss you, “You’re hot.”

“Jen is hot, don’t lie.”

“Jen is pretty,” he nods, laughing when you give him a blank stare, “What? She is, but come on, look at you! Look at you!”

You playfully pose as John laughs, “Okay, true, I’m pretty cute.”

“No, well, yeah, you’re cute, but…” John shakes his head and leans closer, “You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on, and I’m not even kidding. I want you so bad right now. I always want you.”

You smirk as you look up at him, “How bad?”

“So…” he leans closer and kisses just under your ear, sending shivers down your spine, “So bad.”

Leaning back to look at him, you cup his face and bring his lips to yours before you both start to laugh. He gestures for you to sit down on the bench, so you take a spot and hold his hand when he sits next to you. Logan is currently on the carousel with Ronan right now, so thankfully no one was around to hear that conversation between you and John.

“I was thinking that tonight after Ro is down, we could have a movie night.” John says, and you look over at him, “Logan is going to hang out with Devin, so…”

You watch John’s eyes dip down to your lips for a moment before you start to smile, “You’ve been very…”

John starts to smile, “Very what?”

“Very horny lately,” you whisper, and a laugh bursts out of him before he gestures to you, “No, what is going on with you? Why do you want me so much?”

“Oh, come on,” he shakes his head as you smile, “It’s no more than usual.”

You scoff, “It’s waaaay more than usual, Wick.”

“I don’t know!” he laughs, throwing his hands up a little, “You’re sexy. What can I say? I’m attracted to my wife.”

“Hmm,” you squint your eyes at him jokingly, “I don’t know…”

John wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you closer to him, “You’re weird.”

“You’re weird!”

“Well, if I’m weird, then you’re weird for marrying me.”

You laugh loudly, “Yeah, I won’t argue that.”

Logan smiles as he walks over holding Ronan in his arms, “I think she’s getting hungry.”

“Oh, probably,” you take her and set her in your lap, “Should we grab something to eat before we do some more shopping? What else do you need?”

“Uh,” Logan looks at his phone, “Just need some more clothes, then I, uh, I needed a laptop.”

John nods, “Oh, yeah. Then you’re all good, right?”

Logan nods his head as you get up and put Ronan into her stroller. He likes to push her, so you move so he can take it. John reaches for your hand and chats with Logan as you all head to the restaurant, and you smile to yourself. It’s so sweet how John has really taken Logan under his wing.

You finally make it to the row of restaurants in the mall, and you all decide to try out the burger place that is decorated like a 50’s diner. You haven’t tried it yet, so you’re looking forward to it. Logan slides into the booth on the opposite side of you while John gets Ronan into the highchair they’ve provided.

“This place is cool,” Logan says as he looks around, “Reminds me of this show my mom used to watch all the time.”

John sits next to you, leaning over to look at the menu, “Menu looks good.”

You all fall silent as you look at the menu, you and John both pointing at things that sound good, and you only glance up every so often to check on Ronan, who is playing with a toy and a pamphlet she grabbed from a jewelry shop when you were letting her walk earlier.

John wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer, pressing his lips to your shoulder before looking back at the menu, “You smell good.”

“Thanks,” you laugh, looking at him and smiling, “You look very handsome today.”

He chuckles, then he leans over to kiss you, “You look beautiful.”

You smile as you lean over and rest your forehead against his lips before checking out the menu. When the waitress comes over, she asks if you’re ready, which you’re not, so she grabs you some drinks and brings out a kid’s menu for Ronan.

For Ronan, you order some mac and cheese, along with some fruit and veggies, then you and Logan both get the same cheeseburger, while John gets some complicated burger that you’re not sure you’d ever be able to even finish. He also orders a chocolate shake since you said it sounded good.

“So,” you sit back and smile at Logan, “How’s work?”

“Really good. Jimmy is certain that he’s going to be getting this house, so he asked if I want to learn more. Obviously I said yeah.” he laughs, shrugging bashfully, “I like working there, it’s cool.”

John nods, “Jimmy says you’re doing really well too.”

You switch spots with John when Ronan gets a little fussy, and he continues talking to Logan while you play with her. You get some crayons from the waitress and scribble on the paper menu that she was given, and she squeals and kicks her legs happily.

“Logan?” a voice says from behind you, and you look over at the woman standing there. “What are you doing here?”

Logan sits up, “Mrs. Graham.”

“You should be ashamed of yourself.” she says to you, and you sit up straight. “Taking a child from his mother. How proud of yourself are you?”

“Considering he was being treated like shit, pretty damn proud.” you say, then you laugh humorlessly, “And I didn’t take Logan. He left. He wanted to leave and get away from Laura and Greg. We offered him a place to stay, and that’s that.”

The woman turns her nose up and crosses her arms, “Laura was right about you. You just look--”

“Watch your words,” John says from behind you, his voice sending chills down your arms, “I won’t allow you to speak about my wife like this, especially not in front of the kids.”

“The kids?” she laughs, rolling her eyes, “As if he’s your kid. He’s not your child!”

John exhales sharply, “Ma’am, I understand that you’re frustrated on behalf of your friend, but this is not your business. This is between Logan, his parents, and us. You don’t need to concern yourself in other people’s business.”

“Look, I get it. You’re hearing Laura’s side of things and believing her, but no one has listened to Logan. We did. We listened to him and we came up with a solution for him.” you say, and she just blinks at you. “Do you know how your friend has been treating her own son? Terribly. I won’t even tell you because it’s not my story to tell, but Logan needed out of that house. We provided a safe place for him.”

“Well, I just think it’s wrong for you to do that. They could have worked it out on their own.”

You scoff, “Obviously not. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

“One last thing,” she says, leaning closer to you, “You should be ashamed of yourself for bringing a child into the world with a man like him.”

You see red as you look at this pathetic woman, “You fucking bitch--”

Just as you start to get out of the booth, John grabs your arm and stops you. He pulls you back into the booth and wraps his arm around you so you can’t go anywhere, then he holds your gaze and shakes his head a little before looking over at Ronan, who is blissfully unaware of what’s been going on and is scribbling on the paper. Thank god!

“This man right here is a hundred times better than your husband could ever wish to be--”

“I don’t have a husband!” she says, and you laugh loudly.

The jokes write themselves.

“Yeah, well, it’s no wonder. Don’t you ever fucking speak on him, me, or my daughter again. A matter of fact, don’t speak on anyone at this table. Including Logan! You don’t know me, you don’t know my husband, and you clearly don’t know your friend. Why don’t you mind your own damn business and worry about yourself instead?” you say, and she just look at you with wide eyes, “Next time, I won’t be this nice. You can leave our table now.”

Logan frowns when you look at him, then you see him perk up a little before quickly putting his head down. You look over your shoulder to see the woman walk back over to her group of friends, and you spot Laura.

“Do you want to leave?” you ask Logan, but he shakes his head. “We can get our food to go. It’s okay.”

“No, I don’t want to.” he shakes his head again, “I’m tired of running away from her. She can leave.”

You take a deep breath and look over at John, “Don’t listen to her.”

“I don’t care what people say, peach. I never have.”

“You know what she said isn’t true. You’re the best dad.” you whisper to him and he smiles softly, “And I’m so glad I had a baby with you. Best daddy ever. There’s no one else I could imagine having kids with.”

John laughs, “Thanks.”

Ronan squeals loudly and reaches out for John, “Dada!”

“See? She loves you.”

You get Ronan out of the high chair and hand her off to John, who just holds her and loves on her. He says it doesn’t bother him, but you know deep down it probably bothers him a little bit.

__

“What are you wearing?”

You freeze with your mascara wand in front of your left eye as you look over at John, “Do I look bad?”

“What are you wearing?” he asks again, just staring at you.

You pout as you drop your arms to your side, “I thought I looked good. I can change. I mean, I’m not even completely dressed yet.”

“Come here,” he says, curling a finger and beckoning you over to him, and you slowly walk over, “Turn around.”

You quickly spin around and face him, “Do I look bad? John, answer me!”

“Slower this time,” he demands, and you huff as you slowly spin, only to be completely shocked when he spanks you hard on the ass.

“Jonathan Wick!” you gasp, turning around to look at him.

John bites his bottom lip as he starts to smile, “Do you realize how sexy you are?”

“Stop,” you start to walk back to the mirror but John grabs your arm and pulls you back to him, kissing you hard on the lips, “You like it that much?”

John ushers you over to the mirror and gestures to your body, “Yes!”

You start to laugh, tilting your head back to see him, “You’re sweet.”

“You look amazing, baby.” he says softly against your temple, then he rests his hand on your hip, “Are you going to wear just this today?”

You look at him through the mirror, “It’s a body suit, you dork. No, I’m going to wear some jeans.”

John hums, “Hmm, that’s a shame. Your ass look great.”

“Stop it!” you blush as he grins at you. You turn around and lean over to kiss him before he sits down on the bed and watches you, “What’s up?”

“Nothing. Ro is napping.” he says, and you smile at him. He’s bored. “Logan is out with a friend, but he’ll be back before we leave.”

Tonight is date night for you and John--he planned it for tonight. The two of you take turns planning whatever it is, and you two have several dates throughout the month. Usually about one a week. Wednesdays are always for just the two of you since Ronan goes to your parents house, but sometimes that doesn’t always mean there’s a date. Sometimes it’s just hanging out at home and tidying up, then ending the night on the couch with a bowl of pasta or something, which is still a date in your mind; you don’t always need to go out and spend money for a date night. But Wednesday is just a mid-week reset for you and John.

But tonight is date night! You told John that you didn’t want to do anything too crazy since Logan would be watching Ronan tonight. He volunteered all on his own to watch her when he heard John mention date night. Of course you said that you’d be more than okay with taking Ronan to stay with Tess for a few hours, but Logan insisted.

“Nothing crazy tonight, right?”

“Nope,” John shakes his head and smiles as you narrow your eyes, “I’m serious! You said you didn’t want to do anything crazy, and you know me, I always follow rules.”

You laugh loudly, “If there’s one thing you don’t do, it’s follow rules. Mr. Excommunicado.”

“Hey!” he laughs, “That was different.”

“Okay, true.”

John lounges back on the bed, resting on his left elbow as he watches you, “But it’ll be nice. It’s something we haven’t done in a while.”

You immediately look back over at him, “What?”

“Like I’m telling you.”

“Well, now you’re obligated.” you point your mascara wand at him, “Tell me or no nookie tonight.”

John scoffs, “You always threaten that, but let’s be honest…you could never.”

“You wanna test it out?” you try to be serious, but you immediately fail and laugh as you walk over to straddle his waist, “It’s annoying how addicted I am to you.”

“I know the feeling,” he whispers as you lean down to kiss him. He spanks you a few times as he sits back up, “Finish getting ready, mouse.”

You get off his lap and walk over to finish getting ready, and you look through the mirror and smile when you see John just simply watching you like you’re his favorite TV show. He smiles back and leans his elbows on his knees, still watching you. You finish up your make-up and walk to the closet to get some jeans, then you fluff up your hair before turning around to look at him, giving him a ‘What do you think?’ look.

“So beautiful, baby.” he says softly, reaching for your hands, “I’m so in love with you.”

“You can’t make me cry. I just finished my make-up.”

John stands up and takes your arms to wrap them around his neck as he holds your gaze, then he takes you into his arms, “I just need to hold you for a minute.”

Your laugh is muffled against his chest, “Okay.”

He is genuinely the cutest, sweetest man you’ve ever met in your life. It’s so sweet how sometimes he just needs to hold you to ground him. As a kid, he didn’t get the affection he desperately craved, so now he’s become a grown man who wants to give it all the time. It’s the best.

John slowly sways back and forth with you in his arms, then he presses a kiss to the top of your head, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you lean back to look into his eyes, “You’re pretty cute, you know that?”

“Thanks.”

You wrap your arms around him a little tighter, “About what the woman said--”

John shrugs it off as if it didn’t hurt him, “It’s fine.”

“It’s not,” you lean back and look into his eyes, “It’s not fine. I would have pummeled that woman if Ro and Logan hadn’t been there. What she said was completely wrong and so not true. You know this, Jonathan. Deep down, you know that there is no one else who is more perfect to be her dad. You are so good at being a dad, John. Words can’t express how happy I have that you are her dad. You’re so patient and attentive. You’re encouraging and kind. You’re exactly what I would have wanted in a dad and I know that’s a really weird thing to say, but it’s true. I’ve already told you that you’ve healed the little girl in me, but I am so fucking happy that you won’t have to heal anything in Ronan. She’s going to be just fine because she has you for a dad.”

John inhales deeply, his eyes a little glassy with tears, “You really think all that?”

“Of course I do. If I didn’t think you’d be a good dad, I wouldn’t have had a baby with you. I like to think I’m a good judge of character.”

“And you’re really smart too…” his voice is so soft that you just melt.

You laugh, rolling your eyes playfully, “Exactly. Don’t ever, ever, ever question whether or not you’re a good dad because you are. I can see it when Ronan looks at you. She is obsessed with you, babe. She loves you more than anything. If there’s one thing that is absolutely true, it’s that that baby is the biggest daddy’s girl, which I completely understand because I’m so obsessed with her daddy too.”

“I’m certainly obsessed with her and her momma,” he whispers, and you smile at him. “Thank you, baby.”

“I’ll still kick that woman’s ass, by the way.”

John smiles, “I thought I was gonna have to bail you out of jail.”

“Next time some bitch decides to wants to brave and say that shit, she better hope our daughter isn’t there because I will fight her.” you say, shrugging, “I won’t hesitate.”

“You certainly didn’t hesitate last night. Thank you for sticking up for me, my peach.”

You cup his face and kiss him, “I will always stick up for you, Wick. We’re a team.”

“My favorite teammate,” he chuckles softly before kissing your forehead and letting go of you when the front door opens. “That must be Logan.”

You let go of him but he takes your hand and looks back at you. You nod your head since you’re ready to go. He holds tight to your hand and heads downstairs, and you give Logan a wave when he walks into the living room.

“Hey. Have fun?”

Logan nods, “Yeah, we went fishing. Caught some but nothing too big so we threw them all back. You two heading out?”

“We just wanted to wait until Ronan got up from her nap, but…” John looks at his watch, “She might be down for a little longer, so not sure.”

You shrug, “She’ll be okay if Logan gets her. She knows him so it’s not like she’ll freak out. She’ll just be hungry and want something to eat, but you’ve watched her before and you know what she likes.”

“Yeah, of course.” Logan nods, looking back and forth between you and John. “I can get her something to eat, then we’ll play with some toys, maybe build a fort.”

You smile, “She’ll love that.”

“We won’t be out long.” John says, looking at his watch again, “We’ll be back before she needs to go to bed.”

“I used to watch my sister all the time,” Logan says, frowning a little, “So it’s okay if I have to put her to bed.”

You feel your eyes burning as you look away to keep yourself from crying. He must miss his sister so much. “Have you talked to her at all?”

Logan shakes his head, “No, but I thought I might go visit her at school one day. They’re going to be having a choir concert soon, so I might sneak in there to see her.”

You look over at John just as he looks at you, then you plaster a smile back on your face, “I bet she’d love to see you.”

John stands behind you and places his hands on your shoulders, squeezing them lightly, “Well, should we head out? We’ll be back by 8 or so.”

“I’ll have my phone with me the whole time if you need to call, and don’t forget that Tess is just across the street too. She’s home tonight, so you can always call her if something comes up.” you say, and Logan nods his head and starts to laugh when John widens his eyes playfully and shakes his head.

“We’ll be back in a bit.” John says, lightly pushing you towards the door.

Logan laughs as he sits down on the couch, “See you later.”

John takes your hand and leads you over to the car. He stops and digs in his pocket for a moment and pulls out a hair tie. You furrow your brow and look up at him.

“You’ll need this tonight.”

You start to smile, “Jonathan Wick, are you hinting that you want me to go down on you in the car?”

“That would be totally cool if that’s what you want to do, but no, that’s not what this is for.”

“It’s for my hair?”

He nods, “Yes, of course, but not for what you think.”

“I’m very curious.”

“We need to leave now though. Before the sun sets.” he says, and you immediately squint your eyes at him. “We have somewhere we need to stop first so we can get something for tonight.”

You groan when John gestures to the car, “You’re being cryptic.”

“You’ll know as soon as we’re there what’s happening, so you just have to wait 20 minutes. I promise, peach,” he kisses your temple and opens the door for you to get in, “We’ve done it before but not for a long time, and it’s time we do it again. You said it was one of our favorite dates we’ve ever had.”

“That doesn’t help me! I say that about every date because you’re so good at planning them.” you pout, looking over at him, “Please tell me.”

John laughs, “You’re very cute when you pout. Oh, I almost forgot.”

“You almost forgot how cute I am?”

“No,” he laughs as he opens the backseat door, “I’ll never forget that. I almost about this!”

You turn a little to see a large bouquet of flowers. Snapdragons, roses, dahlias, tulips, and baby’s breath. It is the most stunning collection of flowers in a very peachy color with little pops of white and green throughout. Just from the color alone, you know John picked everything himself.

“Peach…” you say, and he smiles proudly. “You’re so cute. These are beautiful. Thank you very much.”

“You’re very welcome,” he says before kissing you, “Ready for our date?”

You smile, “Ready to tell me where we’re going?”

“Nope!”

After kissing you quickly, John makes sure you’re in the car, then he shuts the door and rushes to the driver’s side. You playfully squint your eyes at him, and he laughs as he backs out of the driveway.

__

“We’re getting our oil changed?” you ask incredulously when John pulls up to Aurelio’s auto shop. You look at him and furrow your brow as you laugh, “What a lovely date.”

John laughs, “No, we just need to get something.”

As soon as John pulls into the garage, Aurelio gets up and walks over. He opens your door and helps you out, and you’re taken aback when he leads you over to a nice 1960’s Corvette that has the top down. You begin to smile as you look back at John. He gives you a wink and hurries over to help you get in the car.

Aurelio hands the keys off to him and shakes his hand, “Have fun.”

“I’ll have the car back by eight.” John says, but Aurelio waves it off, “Okay, maybe nine.”

You start to laugh as John gets in the car, then you look back at Aurelio, “Maybe 10.”

“Take your time. You know someone is always here,” he says, waving at the two of you as you back out of the garage.

You grin as you look over at John, and he pulls you closer to him on the seat since it’s a bench seat. You pull your knees up and rest your head on his shoulder, and he drapes his arm across your legs.

The last time John got a car from Aurelio, he drove to Brighton to this little restaurant right near the beach. You sat outside and watched the sunset while you ate dinner, and it was perfect. The drive home was amazing since the air was still warm, and you just clung to him and him to you. It was perfect, and it absolutely was one of your favorite dates.

“So, where are we heading?”

“Thought we’d go watch the sunset.” he says, and you nod your head. “Grab some burgers and shakes at the restaurant right on the shore too. Too late for us to go to Brighton, but Oyster Bay Cove will be perfect for tonight.”

You can feel your eyes just forming hearts as you look at him, and he laughs before he leans down to kiss you. You cup his face to keep him from moving away since you’re at a red light, and he laughs against your lips.

“You’re the best.” you wrap your arms around his bicep and close your eyes as the wind blows through your hair.

Yup, you’re definitely going to need that hair tie. For more than one reason.

__

You and John stumble into the house as you laugh, both shushing one another since you’re definitely being way too loud--you’re both a little drunk on love right now. John puts his hand over his mouth as he laughs, turning around to lock the door as you walk into the living room. You freeze when you see Logan laying on the chaise lounge with Ronan tucked into his side, both fast asleep and their blanket fort left unmade on the ground.

John comes up behind you and rests his cheek against your head, “Pretty cute, huh?”

“She adores him.”

“He adores her.”

You sigh as you nod, “He misses his sister. Would it be bad if I reached out to Laura to see if they would be okay with him visiting her?”

“I don’t think that’s your job, sweetheart,” he turns you to him and shrugs, “Laura and Logan will have to figure that all out on their own. I know he misses his sister. I’m sure it’s hard being away from her. And I know you, so I know you want to help. I know your mom instincts are kicking in, but this isn’t for you to fix.”

Inhaling deeply, you nod your head and look up at John as you squint your eyes and scrunch your face up. A smile tugs at John’s lips before a grin breaks out and you sneeze loudly into your elbow.

“Shit,” you turn around and look at Logan and Ronan as they both jolt awake, “Sorry!”

Ronan sits up and smiles wide when she sees you and John, and she crawls off the couch and runs over, reaching up for you. You pick her up and hug her tightly, closing your eyes and kissing her cheek with a big ‘mwah!’

“Did momma wake you up?” you ask Ronan and her sleepy little eyes, and she nods her head despite the fact that she’s grinning, “Did you miss me?”

“Yeah,” she nods, then she looks at John, “Daddy.”

John smiles, rubbing the top of her head and messing up her brown hair, “Hey, bug.”

Ronan leans her chin against your shoulder and giggles sleepily when John plays peek-a-boo with her. You hug her tight and look over at Logan as he watches her.

“How was she tonight?”

“Really good,” he nods as he sits up, “She ate all of her dinner, then we played with her toys for a bit--I’ll pick those up.”

John waves it off, “Don’t worry about it.”

“We sat down to watch Coco and just fell asleep, I guess,” he laughs, and Ronan kicks her legs to be let down. She runs over to him and jumps into his lap, squealing when he lifts her up, “Hey, we gotta go night-night, don’t we?”

Ronan nods her head, then she points upstairs to her room, telling Logan that they need to go. He chuckles as he gets off the couch, and you give Ronan a kiss. She waves at you and John from over Logan’s shoulder, and you wave back and smile before walking into the kitchen.

“She just loves him. Look at that! He’s just taking her up to bed and she’s not even crying.” you set your purse on the counter and look over at John as he tosses his keys into the bowl next to the landline that’s probably from like 1987. “I’m so proud of her. I remember for a while she wouldn’t even let Tess or Jimmy put her down, but now she’s so much more comfortable.”

“Yeah, I’m really proud of her too,” he smiles, looking over at you, “We did a good job with that one.”

You smile, “And we still are.”

“Tonight was fun,” he whispers, pulling you closer to him until you’re in front of him. He lifts you up and sets you on the counter, and you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. “Did you have fun?”

“I did. I had a lot of fun,” you run your fingers through his hair and scratch his scalp lightly before wrapping your arms around his neck again, “Wish we could have kept the car a little longer.”

John grins, “I could have. All it would have taken was a phone call.”

“Yeah…”

Squinting his eyes, John smirks, “Why did you want the car for longer?”

You move your hands down to his chest, “You know why.”

“Mrs. Wick, were you hoping to have some car sex?” he asks, and you feel your cheeks burn as you laugh. “Look how cute you are.”

“Stop!” you put your hands over your face, “You’re making me blush.”

John presses several quick kisses to your cheek, “We don’t have the car anymore, but we can still have some sex.”

“Sounds good, but we have to be super quiet.”

“We have a basement,” he suggests as you laugh.

You wrap your arms around his waist and lean against him, closing your eyes as he holds you, “I had a really good time tonight. Thank you.”

“I’m glad, sweetheart,” he murmurs into your hair, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” you lean back to look at him, then you cup his face and kiss him.

John is just inches from your lips as he looks into your eyes, then he leans forward and kisses you tenderly, cupping your face in his hand. You wrap your legs around him and pull him closer, and he nips at your bottom lip.

Logan clears his throat, and you and John both look down like you’re two teenagers who just got caught. John glances up at you and smiles, then he walks around to stand on the other side of the counter for obvious reasons--you’re flattered. He discreetly adjusts himself while Logan makes himself busy with the magnets on the fridge.

“Is she asleep?” you ask, and Logan nods his head. “You can turn around, Logan.”

He waits a few seconds before he turns around, “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Oh, you’re alright. John just loves smooching on me,” you laugh, shrugging it off as John walks back over to stand in front of you. He leans with his back against the counter, and you rest against his back, “No biggie.”

Logan inhales deeply and nods his head, “You two are so different from my parents.”

“Yeah?”

He nods as he looks at you, “You actually interact with each other and don’t seem like you want to kill each other.”

“Yeah, no, I definitely don’t want to kill him. I’d be completely lost without him,” you say, and John chuckles. “He’s my best friend. I can’t imagine doing parenthood without him. Or just life in general.”

Logan leans against the counter opposite of you, “My parents wouldn’t be caught in the same room, let alone hugging or kissing.”

You sit up, “Is this making you uncomfortable? Because if it is, we can absolutely cut it out.”

“No,” he shakes his head as he laughs, “It’s actually really nice. I’ve just never been around it before, so it’s different. It’s a good different though. It’s…”

“Refreshing?” you ask, and he nods. “Yeah, I know the feeling. My ex wasn’t affectionate at all and was…incredibly mean to me. When I met John, I was so blown away by the affection he gives and how naturally he gives it. One of the things I’ve loved most about my relationship with him was the fact that he never made me feel like I needed to work for his affection. I was deserving of his love just by being myself, like I said, he just gave it so naturally. I didn’t even feel like I deserved his love. He’s so sweet to me, and he’s so good to Ro too. I’m so beyond happy that she has him for a dad.”

John looks over his shoulder at you and smiles, “I’m pretty lucky too. She’s pretty great--both of my girls.”

“Anyway,” you roll your eyes playfully, “If we are ever being inappropriate or making you uncomfortable, let us know. Obviously we don’t plan on just…you know, right in front of you or anything.”

Logan laughs, “Yeah, I get what you mean.”

You look at him for a moment and hold his gaze, “You’ve had the…the…”

Logan furrows his brow, “What?”

“You’ve had the…” you lean a little closer and whisper, “You’ve had the sex talk, right?”

John puts his hand over his mouth as he laughs, “Peach!”

“Well, I don’t know!”

Logan laughs as he nods his head, “Yes, Mrs. Wick, I’ve had The Talk. I am eighteen, by the way. I know things.”

“I don’t know!” you put your hands up and shrug, “I didn’t know if you had the talk or not yet. God, sorry!”

“You just made this so weird, peach.” John says, and you hop off the counter, “I’m just being honest.”

Logan continues laughing when you look at him, “I’m sorry, but that’s funny. I appreciate you asking.”

You didn’t know if his parents had that talk with him since they were shit at being parents. Obviously he probably found out stuff from his friends, but you didn’t know! You certainly weren’t looking forward to having the conversation with him by any means, but you were willing to do it.

“I just wanted to be helpful,” you say, and John grins. “I don’t see you volunteering to do it, Mr. Wick!”

John laughs, shaking his head, “Hell no. No offense, Logan, but I’m not ready for that stuff yet. I’m still trying to get the hang of having a baby.”

“I was willing to completely embarrass myself and give you the talk, so you better be grateful!” you say, teasing him.

“I am very grateful,” Logan laughs, then he nods his head and smiles, “Trust me, I’m very grateful for everything you two have done for me.”

John wraps his arm around your shoulder, “Don’t mention it, kid.”

“I should head to bed, I have to work in the morning.” he says, and you smile at him. He turns to leave but stops and looks at you and John again, “Seriously, it is really cool how you two are, you know, hugging and dates and stuff. Ronan is really lucky to have parents like you. I know she’ll realize that when she’s older.”

“Thank you,” John smiles, giving him a small wave, “Sleep tight.”

You inhale deeply and give him a smile but as soon as he leaves, you turn to John and bury your face in his chest as you tear up. He holds you and presses a kiss to the top of your head, swaying you from side to side.

How sad is it that he’s never seen his parents just hug or kiss, or show any sort of basic affection? You always knew that that was something you wanted Ronan to grow up with. Obviously you’re not making out with John in front of her, but you and John share a few kisses and always cuddle on the couch. You want her to grow up in a home where affection is shown and love is never on short supply. You want her to see what she deserves in a relationship, and you never want her to settle for less.

“You have such a good heart, you know that?” John tilts your head back and kisses your forehead before leaning down to kiss the center of your chest, “The best heart.”

“Thank you.”

John smooths your hair back and pulls you back into his arms, “Let’s go to bed, baby.”

“Okay.”

Holding John’s hand, you make your way upstairs after locking the doors and turning the lights off. You say a quick goodnight to Ronan, then you change into your pajamas and crawl into bed with John, immediately falling onto him and kissing him. He cups your face for a moment before sliding his hand down to your waist, then to your leg, pulling you on top of him.

You sit up straight on John and look over your shoulder to make sure the door is shut, then you pull your nightgown over your head and toss it aside. John smiles as he gazes up at you, his eyes raking over inch of your body. He sits up and kisses you, then he leans down and sucks on your nipple.

Biting your lip, you close your eyes and tilt your head back, “Do you want me, John?”

“So bad,” he places his hand on the back of your neck and tilts your head back up so you’ll look at him, “Can you feel how bad I want you?”

You shimmy down into his lap more and smile when you feel him hard against your leg. You pull your panties aside, then you grin as you move his hand between your legs.

“Can you feel how bad I want you?”

John closes his eyes as his fingers play with you, “Fuck, you're so wet.”

“You made me that wet,” you whisper to him, and a noise comes out of the back of his throat, “You make me so fucking wet, John.”

“I want you to sit on my face,” he whispers against your lips, which elicits a moan from you, “I want you to ride my face until you come, then I want to fuck you until you come again. Until your legs are shaking and you’re screaming my name.”

You laugh with your lips pressed to his, “I probably shouldn’t scream your name, but everything else can be arranged.”

“We have pillows,” he suggests, and you laugh as you push him to lay down so you can scoot up to straddle his face. He looks up at you with so much adoration, then he licks his lips, “Mm, mm, mm.”

You stand up on the bed to quickly take off your underwear, then you get back down and kiss John before sitting right on his face while he hums happily. You close your eyes and tilt your head back when you feel his warm tongue between your legs, then you quickly press your hand on to your mouth.

“There’s no way I’m going to be quiet,” you say to him, and he peeks at you, “I’m never quiet with you.”

“I know,” he grins from ear to ear, “I love it.”

As you roll your hips, firmly clutching the headboard, you gaze down at John. He reaches up and caresses your breast as he eats you out, and you press your hand to your mouth when you moan. Your knuckles are turning white from gripping the headboard so tight and you start to move your hips faster until you feel yourself tipping over the edge.

John keeps you from moving off of him as you start to climax, and he pulls you down closer to his mouth while you press your hands over your mouth. You moan loudly into your hands and your eyes rolls shut, an electric surge running through your body. John holds you as he sits up, then he plops you down on the bed and crawls on top of you.

He makes sure to give your body plenty of attention with little nips and kisses. He licks up your stomach to the valley between your breasts, then he sucks on your nipple and closes his eyes when you moan. You reach down to touch him over his boxers, which elicits a moan from him. He quickly pulls his cock from his boxers and slides between your legs, instantly pressing his hand to your mouth when you moan.

“Holy shit, John,” you laugh quietly, “You’re so hard.”

“You turn me on, what can I say?” he smiles, and you lean up to kiss him passionately as he starts to thrust his hips.

Arching your back, you grip John’s bicep as your teeth begin to chatter and you squeeze your eyes shut before looking up at him. John smiles proudly and leans down to kiss you a few times, jerking his hips hard and knocking the breath out of you.

“Oh, shit…” you manage to choke out, “Oh, fuck!”

“Here,” John hands you a pillow and grins, “Look like you’re gonna need it.”

__

taglist: @lilithlinen @mutlifandombliss @ruby-octo @tnu-ree @sakurachan-9 @beingnerdyissupercool @scream-queen-25 @ladyren33 tumblr tagging system is wack so let me know if the tags worked!

[mulletmitsuya]

i will post a gc tmr bcs it's valentine's day but it has nothing to do with valentine's day

[hungrydogs-if]

so... faces. portraits. i can hear lizzo telling me it's about damn time.

i realized that i never made artbreeder images of the cast here. there's a very good reason for that (as in artbreeder makes me go absolutely ballistic) but i still want to share with you how i see my characters as i write them.

face claims if you will! i'll probably tackle the ai again some day, but i actually wanted to share this first lol.

ready to face the fabulous? let's go. i'll also post singular images under the cut for those who don't want to click endless links haha.

dane is very much levi stocke. this image is the one that made me pause and do that leonardo dicaprio pointing at my screen. i mean, come on, even the poses? my heart. just gotta remove the tattoos and shave the sides of the hair and there he be. ofc this man is like the ultimate face for wattpad mafia/gang stories but still fits as our little himbo.

mona has always looked like kehlani in my head, although her body shape is very different, the face is still very much alike. especially in this image (that still makes my heart go pitter patter), and this one as well. while mona's skin tone is several shades darker and tattoos are all black and white, it's still my go-to look when thinking of her.

since angel is gender selectable, they get two face claims. for m!angel, it used to be can yaman, but it switched to michele morrone when i was on my endless pinterest scroll the other day. it all changed with this image, which quickly found me this and this. just add a bit of gray in the hair and some depth to the skin tone that's m!angel for sure.

f!angel has been monica raymund for as long as i remember. i don't know where i first caught a pic of her but since the very beginning, she's been the face for f!angel. i think this picture is the one is most associated with her now, but this and this? chef's kiss, absolute perfection. switch the eye color to more prominently hazel and add those stray gray hairs and deeper skin tone again and you got yourself f!angel.

sam was a bit trickier to put a face to since they're so particular in my mind's eye, but i'm certain rain dove gets so very close, especially if they had red hair and more freckles. this picture for example, it has the perfect facial details (minus the eyes that should be green, and the hair that should be naturally red). there's also this image, and that's as close as i've gotten to finding a suitable face claim for sam, sadly. that face with this hair (although lighter in shade) and a slew of freckles all over and they would be perfect ngl.

and thirteen... well, i can't share their face before their helmet comes off in-game lmao. would ruin the mystique! just know they're on par with the rest of the squad.

i hope this hasn't ruined anyone's conception of them!! they aren't a 100% accurate of course, since the crew has scars, freckles, tattoos, moles, all that, but now you have something to add to the names <3

images under cut!!!

dane -> mona -> m!angel / f!angel -> sam