#anyway all that said. i am glad to be off the medications i am no longer taking.

[xxoxobree]

The Boy Is Mine

Miles Morales x Black Fem Spider-person Reader v Gwen Stacy.

Summary: He saved you and She didn’t want to and maybe she was right because the boy is now yours.

WARNINGS: Fighting, bad words, I think that’s it.

A/n: I was tied!!! Of seeing Miles cheat with Gwen so I took matters into my own hands. This is probably one of the best stories I’ve ever written too so don’t skip. I had so much fun writing this.

For the past 2 years, you've been the one and only Spider-woman. Everyone knows the story by now, bitten by a radioactive spider, and now you spend your time protecting the city. Everything was going great. Or that's what you wanted to believe as you fought Wilson Fisk, a person who is supposed to be behind bars. This Wilson was different - bigger, stronger, he was giving you a run for your money.

"What have they been feeding you at the Raft, Willie?" You quipped as you dodged a punch. "Haha, missed me," you said, landing a punch combo to his jaw.

"You stupid spiders are always in the way," he said, managing to catch you off guard, knocking you back. This fight is definitely gonna take a while.

"Who are you anyway, where's Spider-Man?" Fisk asked, walking menacingly toward you as you lay on the floor to catch a breath.

"I don't get paid enough for this," you said, getting up, squaring up with the large man.

Spider-Man, what are you talking about, Fisk?" You asked the man leaping backwards, dodging all of his hits.

"Enough of this talk, this ends now," Fisk said, running toward you. You charged back, your fist balled, about to strike, but he dodged and caught you by your throat.

"Another spider under my belt," Fisk said, laughing as he squeezed your throat. Gasping for air, you tried your best to break free from his grip, but your vision began to fade out. Your strength left you, and your eyes began to close. All you wanted to do was sleep, but you blinked your eyes again. Maybe you were hallucinating from the lack of oxygen, but a portal with glowing lights appeared, and two other spider personas flew forward, knocking Fisk out. You dropped to the floor, gasping for air, but still fainted in the process.

You probably weren't out for long, but you heard faint voices, a female and a male.

"What do we do, Gwen? We can't just leave her here."

"Miles, what are we supposed to do? We can't take her back to HQ."

You were too weak to actually open your eyes to see who was talking. Too weak to stop them from kidnapping you and taking you to wherever HQ was. You tried to let out a small groan, but it was useless.

"That's exactly what we need to do, Gwen. She needs medical care."

"Ughhh.... Fine, you grab her."

You heard footsteps move towards you, and your body being lifted before you succumbed to the darkness around you again.

✨HQ✨

Your bloodshot eyes shot open as you sat up, feeling around for your mask that wasn't on your face. You heard the fast-paced beeping of a heart monitor, letting you know your heart rate was up as you ripped all the pads off of you, standing ready to leave the room before two people came walking inside. You immediately got in defense mode as you studied them - an older man in a blue suit with a spider on the front, and a younger boy about your age in a black suit, also with a spider on the front.

"Where the fuck am I, and who are you?" you said, pointing.

"Welcome to HQ, Spiderwoman. I'm Spider-Man, and he's Spider-Man. Glad you survived. Miles, I'll leave you to it," the older man in the blue suit said, walking away.

Miles walked closer to you, setting off your spider senses. You closed one of your eyes, moving your head to the side, resting your hand on your head. "Don't come any closer," you said.

You're probably not used to that, but you're like me, it does that sometimes. I'm Miles.

"Yeah, I got that from earlier," you said, flopping back on the hospital cot, still very much in pain.

Miles wasn't in the room when they took off your mask, so this was the first time he saw your face. He scanned every detail of your face, taking in the way your plump lips formed into a natural pout, or maybe that was just because you were in pain. The way your brown eyes sparkled under the bright white light, he couldn't help but be captivated by your gaze. He loved your braids and the way your pink beads rattled every time you moved.

Miles felt something stir in the pit of his stomach the longer he looked at you. Maybe it was just gas from the spicy food he ate earlier, he thought, in denial of the growing attraction he felt for a stranger.

"Well, aren't you gonna tell me your name?" Miles finally mustered the courage to ask.

You turned to face him, the pain momentarily forgotten as you observed his silly smirk. You weren't usually the friendliest person, but there was something about Miles that felt different, something that made you want to open up.

"I'm Y/n," you replied, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

Nice to meet you Y/n," Miles said, offering his hand. You looked at it. "I'd shake your hand, but I'm in too much pain right now," you said, causing both of you to laugh. There it was, that fluttering feeling in the pit of Miles' stomach again as he watched a beautiful smile grace your face.

"So, what is this place and why am I here?" you asked Miles, curiosity shining in your eyes. "This is the Spider Society. We brought you here because you were in bad shape from fighting Fisk," Miles explained. You coughed a bit. "Yup, he whooped my ass," you said, making both you and Miles burst into laughter again.

Unbeknownst to the two of you, Gwen stood outside the door, her eyes fixed on the scene unfolding inside. With each word you said to Miles, with each chuckle you elicited from him, the flames of jealousy ignited within her. Unable to bear it any longer, she burst into the room, startling both you and Miles.

"What the fuck? You didn't even have to do all that, shawty," You exclaimed. Miles stood up, a look of surprise on his face. "Gwen, this is Y/n, Spider-woman, the one we helped," he explained, pointing toward you.

"Oh, hi. I'm glad you're okay," Gwen said, her words laced with a hint of insincerity.

This your girl Miles ?" You asked.

"No, no." They both said in unison dragging their o's. It was obvious to you that there was more to the story by the way she busted into the room but that was none of your business.

"Well, it was nice to meet you, Y/n. We should get going," Gwen said, gently tugging Miles towards the door.

Before leaving, Miles tossed you a watch that you effortlessly caught. "Maybe we can see each other again," he said, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. You smiled, watching him walk away.

"Hmmm," you hummed, examining the watch before clasping it onto your wrist. "Maybe we will, Spider-Man."

As Gwen and Miles made their way through the headquarters, Miles couldn't ignore Gwen's evident distress. He studied her face and body language.He called out to her, "Gwen?"

Getting no response, Miles tried a sing-songy voice, calling her name once more. "What, Miles?" she replied, her voice tinged with bitterness.

"I know you're upset. Do you want to talk or not?" Miles asked, genuinely wanting to understand what was bothering her.

"Why don't you go talk to Y/n?"

"Gwen, are you serious? I barely know her, but she's a cool girl," Miles defended, trying to reassure her.

"Oh, she's cool now?" Gwen's tone dripped with sarcasm and doubt.

Miles gently reached for Gwen's hand, stopping her in her tracks, making her face him directly. "Look, Gwen, you don't have to worry about her, okay?" he said softly.

Gwen's expression softened, and she nodded, a flicker of trust returning to her eyes. "Alright, Miles. She said giving him a small punch to the shoulder.

✨The Mission✨

You were back in your dimension 2 days post fight with Fisk feeling good as new. You were in bed, examining the watch Miles gave you, when a hologram of a woman appeared, making you scream.

"Oh hey there new recruit, I'm Lyla," she said, waving.

"Hi... Lyla," you said slowly, waving back.

"Sorry to scare you, but the boss needs you at HQ, your first mission... Yayyyy, so suit up," she said before disappearing.

"Uh, okay," you said, slipping into your skintight suit and mask, slapping on your watch, struggling to find out how to get it to work because no one gave you a tutorial. But you managed using your genius brain and stepped through the portal, gracefully landing in a dark room with monitors.

"Great, you're here......Miles!" the man you were familiar with but never got his name called out.

From the shadows, Miles emerged with a smile on his face. "Good to see you again, Mamita," he said.

"Oh, we're using pet names now?" you said, matching his flirty energy.

"That's enough," Miguel said as he stood before you two. "Anomaly in Earth 746, catch it."

"Anomaly?" you questioned.

"I'll tell you all about it later," Miles said, grabbing your hand, opening a portal, and pulling you through.

You dusted off your hands. The mission went well, a little too well, especially for a Goblin mission.

"You're pretty good, Miles."

"You too, Mamita. Gotta say, I doubted you a little after the Fisk fight," he teased.

"Oh, whatever," you said, rolling your eyes, chuckling a bit.

You moved closer to Miles, mere inches between you two, as you ran your fingers along his jawline.

Miles' breath hitched as you touched him, his hazel eyes expressing the tension between you two. There was no denying that Miles was handsome, and you were eager to learn more about him.

"So what dimension are you from, Papa?" you asked playfully, a flirtatious smile gracing your lips.

"1610. Maybe we could go there?" Miles responded, his voice filled with anticipation.

"Take a girl on a date first, Miles," you laughed, teasing him gently.

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I..." Miles stammered, trying to explain himself.

"I would love to see your dimension, Miles," you interrupted, cutting him off.

And so, Miles took you to his dimension.

"This is Brooklyn." Miles said as you two stood atop the Williamsburg Bank building, you marveled at the city below. It was similar to your own home, yet distinctly different. Miles watched in awe as your eyes sparkled at the city, feeling a flutter in his stomach.

"It's beautiful, Miles," you whispered, taking a seat to soak in the view.

He walked forward and sat beside you, his face beaming with joy. You turned towards him, a warm smile on your lips.

"So, what's your story, big head?" you asked, playfully leaning on him.

"My story?" Miles responded, a hint of surprise in his voice.

"You're Spider-Man, Miles. What's your origin?" you asked , curious him.

"You know, regular Spider-Man stuff. I gained my powers and now I fight bad guys," Miles answered, a humble tone in his voice.

"That's not what I meant," you said, giving him a small shove. "What's the real story? I was bitten by a radioactive spider too, two years ago on a field trip to Oscorp. Your world doesn't seem to have Oscorp." You sighed, frustration and sadness mixing in your voice. "I got these crazy powers that I didn't know what to do with, so I decided to keep them a secret and pretend that I was a regular kid."

The weight of your words hung heavy in the air as you choked up, memories flooding back. Miles noticed your distress and perked up. "It's okay, you don't have to share if you don't want to," he said, trying to comfort you.

But something compelled you to open up, to let go of the burden you had been carrying alone for so long. You rested your hand gently on top of his. "I pretended to be some regular kid, and that led to me losing my mom. And from then on, I decided to help everyone else," you finished.

Miles's heart stung as he listened to your story. "I lost someone close to me too, my uncle Aaron. He was shot saving me," he shared, the pain evident in his voice.

A sense of understanding and connection washed over you both. You leaned your head on his shoulder. "See, that's your story, Papa," you said softly, appreciating the bond that formed between you. "You know, Miles, it's so nice to have someone to talk about this stuff with now," you added, gazing at the sun setting on the horizon.

That moment solidified your blooming relationship with Miles. Whenever you had free time, you would pop into his dimension, and vice versa. Now, in your suit, you found yourself in dimension 1610, patiently waiting for Miles to catch up as you swung through the bustling city.

"Keep up, Miles," you teased, a mischievous glint in your eyes as you effortlessly jumped from building to building, landing with grace. The two of you were headed back to his house, where Jeff and Rio, his parents, adored you and had grown fond to your presence after all the time you spent with Miles.

They couldn't wrap their head around the whole different dimension thing and just assumed Miles' imagination had run wild. You two walked through his front door.

"Hey Mama Rio," you greeted Miles' mom.

"Hey Mija."

"Hey Mom," Miles said, hugging his mom before the two of you walked into his room. You two were too caught up in conversation to notice a guest. Gwen. She cleared her throat, making you two snap your attention towards her.

"Gwen, hey," Miles said nervously. "What are you - what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you because I barely see you anymore, but now I know why," Gwen answered.

You snickered a bit, knowing you essentially snatched Miles from Gwen.

"Oh, that's funny?" Gwen asked.

You threw your hands up in surrender, not wanting to get into it with her.

"We were about to watch a movie, order some pizza. You can stay if you want," Miles offered to pacify Gwen, but he was hoping she'd turn it down. He cherished his alone time with you.

"No, it's fine, Miles. I'll leave," Gwen said with a hint of frustration in her voice.

"Uh, okay. Bye," Miles said

"Bye, Gwendolyn," you added, unable to hide the small smirk on your face.

Gwen turned to you and asked, "You know what, can we talk outside, Y/n?"

Rolling your eyes, you agreed, "Sure, why not?" You grabbed Miles' hand, signaling for him to come along.

"Alone," Gwen insisted, her tone unwavering.

"Okay... I'll be back, papa," you said to Miles, giving him a smile and a pat on the cheek.

As you followed Gwen out of the window and onto the roof, you could feel the tension building up. Once you reached a secluded corner, she turned to face you, arms folded.

"What is your problem?" she asked, her voice filled with accusation.

"Girl, what are you talking about?" you answered defensively.

"Miles," she replied, her tone laced with frustration.

"What about him? He's fine, great even," you said, walking closer to her.

"Don't play dumb, Y/n," Gwen snapped.

"What are you getting at, Gwen?" you said, your tone becoming pointed as you grew tired of the conversation.

"He's mine, Y/n, and you're trying to steal him away," her voice filled with possessiveness.

You couldn't help but burst into laughter. "Yours?" you asked, shaking your head. "Gwen, you lost him the day you two saved me."

As the words left your mouth, the truth hung heavy in the air. Gwen had been holding onto her feelings for Miles while pretending everything was okay. But deep down, she knew that the connection between you and Miles was undeniable.

What you didn't see coming was a slap across your face from Gwen, not thinking she was bold enough to do it. The sting of her actions lingered in the air as shock resonated through your entire being. And what Gwen didn't see was Miles, camouflaged and watching you two from a distance. He didn't hear anything you two talked about, but he sure did see the slap.

As the pain subsided, you didn't retaliate. Deep down, you and Gwen both knew that you had won this battle, that Miles was now dedicated to you.

"Why would you do that, Gwen?" You heard a voice behind you, and turned to see Miles standing there, his eyes filled with disappointment.

You watched in satisfaction as Gwen's eyes widened, realizing that she had not only hurt you but also jeopardized her chances with Miles. She had unknowingly made it even easier for you to snatch his affection away from her.

"Miles, I..." Gwen stammered, unable to find the right words to justify her actions.

"Why would you hit her?" Miles asked, his voice filled with a mix of anger and hurt.

"You didn't hear what she said, Miles. She's trying to tear us apart. You were mine," Gwen spewed out, desperately clinging to her fading hopes.

"Yours? I'm not some object, Gwen," Miles retorted, his voice laced with disappointment. "Is that why you brought her outside? To hit her?"

A heavy silence hung in the air as Gwen struggled to find an explanation, her words failing her. The truth had been laid bare, and Miles saw her for who she truly was.

"Save it, Gwen," Miles said, his voice firm. "You just showed me the type of person you really are. I've been pining after you for months, and you always brushed me off. But now, now I have someone who actually likes me back."

With those words, he took your hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

You looked at Gwen, a smug look on your face as you squeezed Miles' hand tighter.

"You don't mean that, Miles."Gwen said.

"Yes, I do," Miles turned to you. "She likes me back, and she's the most caring, sweetest, funniest person in this dimension and every other," Miles said, making you tear up a bit, your lip bottom poking out.

"You're so cute when you do that," Miles said.

Gwen watched as her heart slowly broke. She had played with Miles,but now she had lost the game. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't. She should be the one he said all those things to. The tears pricked her eyes.

"Y/n, will you be my girlfriend?" The words echoed in Gwen's head, the final blow that made her tears roll down her face.

"Of course, I will, papa," you said, jumping on Miles and giving him a tight hug before pulling back and giving him a big kiss, your first one in front of his former crush.

You and Miles turned to Gwen, watching as she continued to cry.

"You should go, Gwen," you said, your heart aching a bit for the girl, but not a lot.

Miles grabbed your hand as the two of you walked off toward the stairwell, leaving Gwen behind.

[its-time-to-write]

This is NOT Jamie Tartt slander. This is two sleep-deprived people making dumb choices because they’re tired. Also, this is so. Freakin. Long. Apologies in advance. Warnings include swearing, fighting, pregnancy? Is that a warning? Basically reader is pregnant and it goes through the first pregnancy test to like when the baby is a month old. Anyway. I never know how to write these intros.

you’re losing me

You and Jamie are young. You are not old. Sure, you’re married after only dating for a year and being engaged for another half a year, but it’s not like much changed from how it was. That band on your left hands gives you both a sense of security, and it’s fun to be the hot young married couple around Richmond. It’s nice to be able to walk around openly and to be called “Mrs. Tarrt,” and to know that this himbo dumbass is going to be making you laugh till you’re old and gray. (Said himbo dumbass told you that’s his favorite nickname). You both excel in your various workplaces and because of that, when you moved into Jamie’s house you were able to keep your flat. It turned out to be a blessing when your younger sister moved to England from another country, so she can be close by without actually being in the same house as you.

All that to say, you were not ready for the little pink stick you were holding at 4pm on a Wednesday.

“Babe?” Jamie calls from the front door, “I’m home! You here?”

Your eyes are glued to those two little lines. “In the bathroom!” you shout. You hear Jamie’s footsteps coming up the stairs into your room.

“Oi listen, Ted told this joke today that went over me head, so I remembered it to ask you and…” he trails off. “Why are you sitting on the floor?”

You turn to look at him, the same shock from five minutes ago still on your face. In an instant, Jamie is kneeling on the floor next to you cupping your face. “Are you alright? Do you need to go to the hospital? Do I need to call someone? Did something happen at work?”

You shake your head. “No, I’m fine, I just- look.” You halfheartedly lift the pregnancy test. Jamie looks down and his face shifts from concern to one of shock then back to concern.

“Are you sure?” he asks softly.

Wordlessly, you point to the sink where there are five pregnancy tests of different brands. All positive.

“Shit,” he whispers. Then: “Wait. Why aren’t you happy bout this? I thought you wanted kids?”

“I do!” you reply a little miserably, “I do, it’s just, we talked about it and I know you really don’t at least not till you’re in your mid-thirties, and I know I told you that I wanted to have them young that one time, but that was before we were dating and I didn’t want to pressure you and I don’t want you to think I did this on purpose because I didn’t but I’m actually really scared about what you’re going to think because I’m so excited, especially because I didn’t even think this was possible.”

You’re not looking at him anymore, but hugging your knees to your chest. You are excited for this baby. You didn’t think you were going to be able to have kids, based on personal issues and family medical history. Or at least, that it would take a lot of time and a lot of doctor’s appointments. The fact that you have a total of six positive pregnancy tests is a miracle in and of itself, but it’s not what you and Jamie planned. And sure, you’re married, but does that really mean you won’t split up? This is pretty big.

All these thoughts are swirling around in your head until-

“Hey.”

Jamie softly tilts your chin up. “Look at me.”

Against your will, tears have started to leak out of your eyes.

“Darling, I ain’t mad. I think mostly I’m just glad you ain’t dyin. This is amazing! We’re going to have a little baby Tartt, and I couldn’t be happier. As long as you’re alright, I’m happy.”

You grab his bicep. “Are you absolutely sure, Jamie?” You need to know. 

He laughs. “Babe, yes. Yes I am. For better or for worse, yeah? Though this really is for better.”

You crack a smile. “Ok. Ok. Yeah, ok.”

Jamie twirls a strand of your hair. “We’ll be ok, yeah? Now let’s get off this floor and go get ice cream. Heard that’s a pregnancy staple. And, on the way, can you explain this joke Ted said? Everyone laughed except me and Will, so I was thinking it’s gotta be...” his voice trails down the hall as you head out the door.

— 

Jamie is funny. Once he decides to do something, he’s all in. He wanted to start telling people the moment you stepped out the door for ice cream. You had to physically put your hand over his mouth to stop him from telling Mae, whom you bumped into on your way. To be honest, you’re sure she knows anyway because Jamie got out a few words and she gave you a knowing look, but she’ll keep it to herself. She’s a good one.

It was only a matter of time before Jamie insisted you start telling the team. He’d say, mid-breakfast, “Babe. You know who would be a great babysitter? Sam. Sam’s one of me best mates. Haven’t kept a secret from him in forever,” with a puppy dog face. 

Or during MarioKart, “What do you think about having Isaac and Colin help with the baby’s room? Isaac’s good at all that construction shit and both you and Colin like to paint. You probably shouldn’t be painting anyway, what with all the fumes.”

Or your personal favorite, during a shower, “Babe. What about Roy and Keeley?”

You: “What about Roy and Keeley?”

Jamie: “They should know. We should tell them. Keeley would flip her shit and I want to see if Roy will cry.”

You: “That’s what you’re thinking about? Here? Now? Good lord, man, I thought you were debating which conditioner to use.”

To be entirely fair, it was about the time to start telling people. You had started stealing Jamie’s shirts claiming that they were more comfortable. They were baggier on you, so they hid the beginnings of your baby bump, and you explained away any questions by reminding people that you wore a lot of layers because you were perpetually cold. However, you were at the point where you were going to have to start telling people, which is how Roy and Keeley ended up at your house for your bi-weekly dinner that you had been delaying for two months.

You had taken approximately two bites of food before Jamie clattered down his fork and said, “We have something to tell you.”

Roy and Keeley looked at you expectantly. You reach under your chair for two bags and place them in front of their plates.

Roy’s face is saying what the fuck as he and Keeley remove the tissue paper and hold up two onesies. A black one that says, newest addition to uncle’s day and a light pink one that says, if you think I’m cute, you should see my aunt. 

They look from the onesies in their hands and then back to you and Jamie. “Surprise!” you say in unison. There is a beat of silence and then Roy says, “That’s fucking great!” at the same time Keeley squeals, “Ohmygod, congratulations!” and then you’re all on your feet hugging. 

“I fucking knew it,” says Keeley. She nudges Roy, “Didn’t I tell you Roy-o? I fucking called it weeks ago! You owe me ten quid.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Roy grumbles as he reaches into his pocket, but that’s as close to a smile he’ll get. “Can’t believe you’re having a kid with this prick,” he says to you, but it’s prick (affectionate) as opposed to prick (derogatory). 

You smile. “You’re the first people we’ve told, other than Jamie’s mum and Simon. You’re the closest thing we have to family here.”

Keeley goes, “Aw, babe,” and Roy just squints at you and lets out a grunt.

“She’s gonna have the coolest family,” Jamie says.

“She?” Keeley asks, “Are you having a girl?”

You roll your eyes. “We don’t know. We’re going to find out tomorrow, and Jamie has been insisting that it’s a girl. He says it’s his ‘dad sense,’ or something like that. I’ve given up telling him that’s not a real thing.”

Jamie shrugs, “I know what I know. Don’t get why we have to go to some bloke with that slimy gel to be told something I’ve been saying for weeks.”

“That bloke with slimy gel is my doctor and an ultrasound, you absolute himbo!” you laugh.

Roy finally cracks a smile, and you spend a comfortable evening together, thinking about how much things are going to change.

— 

A week later, you’re at the Richmond pitch. You walked over from Mae’s, because you were thinking about her chips all afternoon. You ate at least three baskets and she made a sly comment about eating for two. She pinched your cheek as she walked away and then smacked Baz, who was trying to eavesdrop.

You walk into the locker room, coat still on and reach up to kiss Jamie. He’s still a sweaty from practice because none of them have gone to the showers yet, but you don’t mind. 

“You ready?” he asks.

You give your arms a shake. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

You walk into Ted and Beard’s office, where you asked Rebecca and Higgins to meet. Trent is in there as well, and he looks up in surprise as you walk in.

“Good to see, Mrs. Tartt,” Ted says as he gets up to hug you.

“Hey Ted,” you smile back, going over to hug Rebecca. “How are you all doing?” “Oh you know, biting our nails for whatever it is you guys have to tell us,” Ted replies.

“You’re not leaving, are you?” Rebecca interjects. “I simply cannot handle any more change around here.”

You shake my head. “No, no we’re not leaving. But this is about a change.”

Back in the locker room, the Richmond boys hear a big “WHAT,” from Ted and look over to see you and Jamie getting swarmed by him, Beard, Rebecca, Higgins, and Trent. Isaac looks at Sam and shrugs, bemused. You and Jamie open the door and walk out right under where the “Believe” sign used to be.

You smile and take off your coat, revealing a shirt that says “Tartt in the oven,” and an obvious baby bump.

There is silence as jaws drop and then Isaac says-

“I’m going to be an uncle?”

The locker room erupts in pandemonium with the boys slapping each other on the back firing rapid-fire questions at you and Jamie.

“How long have you been keeping this a secret?”

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

“Are you going to name it after me?”

“Can I be the favorite uncle?”

“Can we help decorate its room?”

Jamie is smiling as big as you’ve ever seen him.

“OI!” Isaac roars. “QUIET. Are we men or are we beasts? One at a time!”

Isaac looks at you two. “Boy or girl?”

Jamie’s eyes glow. “Girl!”

The room erupts once again as Jamie kisses you on the top of your head and pulls you close to him.

—

Labor was… not fun. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great. There weren’t really complications except for the fact that Jamie was almost not there. See, it’s because your water broke when you were in the shower right before leaving to watch one of Jamie’s games. You looked down at the shower drain and felt your mind race through a million scenarios. Do you text Jamie and make him miss the game? Do you push through as long as you can? Do you have Keeley and Rebecca take you to the hospital? Do you go by yourself?

As you’re considering, you think of laying in bed the night before. The baby was kicking and Jamie was tracing patterns on your stomach whispering, “Baby Tartt doo doo doo-doo doo-doo.”

He would hate to miss this.

You make a choice and call Keeley.

Thirty minutes later you’re in Rebecca’s box waiting for the game to start. You have contractions, sure, but you’ve been having them for a while. The doctor said it was nothing to worry about, so you didn’t worry. 

That means that Keeley and Rebecca don’t worry as you grip the arm of your seat and blow out a long breath.

Keeley absentmindedly pats your arm and Rebecca slings hers around your shoulders.

“Don’t go having this baby now,” she jokes, “Wait till after we’ve won.”

You force out a laugh. If only she knew.

You have to get up and walk after the first half because the contractions are starting to get closer together. Rebecca notices and gets up to come inside and see you.

“Are you alright?” she asks.

You look at her without saying anything and her eyes widen. 

“Shit,” she says. “How long has this been happening?”

“Since right before I left,” you gasp out, “My water broke in the shower and I didn’t want- shit.” You bend over from a contraction before continuing, “I didn’t want to miss Jamie’s game and it’s fine, right? It’s not until they’re three minutes apart that it really matters.”

“And how long are yours?” Rebecca asks.

You don’t want to look at her. “Six,” you whisper.

“SIX?” she yells. “Darling, you need to go. I’ll call Ted, he’ll pull Jamie, and then you’ll go.”

Keeley has come in by this point and fully assessed the situation. “Babes, you can’t stick around till the game ends. You have to go.”

You hold up a hand. “I’m fine. Richmond needs Jamie. It can wait.”

Rebecca clicks her tongue. “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but we’re up by two and also it’s just a football game. It doesn’t matter. You are about to have a child so let me get your husband for you.” 

“Ok,” you say meekly. “Can I come with you?”

Rebecca calls Ted and you wait by the entrance to the pitch. Ted has barely put out the call to switch out number nine when Jamie is sprinting across the field to you. You’re at the hospital in record time, and that’s how Beatrice Georgie Tartt is born.

—

You and Jamie had a lot of conversations about what it’s like to be parents. You had the standard “What if I turn out like my dad,” chat (easily dispelled by the fact that he takes after his mum) and the “Baby comes before football,” chat which you needed to hear but definitely did not retain. That one was difficult for both of you, because you didn’t mind pausing your career for motherhood. You knew it would be waiting for you when you were ready to go back, but that isn’t really the case for Jamie. He’s in his prime right now, and it takes a lot of work. You had worked things out on paper, but life is never that easy. Newborns require a lot of attention, and  neither of you were sleeping well. Jamie had taken two weeks off training but was back by the third. The only problem was, he was back to his regular 4am training. It’s easy to get enough sleep when you can pick when you go to bed, but not so much when your daughter needs to be fed, changed, burped, whatever every single hour. 

In other words, you both were tired and snippy.

Bea was four and a half weeks old when the last straw came.

It was 2:30 am, and you was so, so tired. She needed a diaper change and you felt like you physically couldn’t get out of bed so you poked Jamie.

“Babe,” you say.

“Hm,” he groans, voice gravelly.

“Can you please change her? I can’t move,”

“Don’t know if you’ve noticed babe, but I have training with Roy in an hour. I can’t get up every time she needs something. That’s your job.”

Instantly, you are wide awake.

You’ve never heard Jamie take that tone of voice with you before. Never heard it be that intentionally cutting. 

You sit up. “Excuse me?”

He rolls over to face you. “You heard me. I don’t have time for this right now. It’s your job, you take care of it. This is not what I signed up for and anyway, you’re the one who wanted a baby, not me. You go deal with it.” He rolls back over to go to sleep and you just stare at him. You're too tired to fight but then Bea cries again and you say, “Jamie what the fuck.” 

“Look, babe, I can always go stay in a hotel and get some sleep. You’re the one who wants me to be here with you,” he replies, voice muffled by the pillow.

“Don’t ‘look, babe’ me, Jamie Tartt,” you say, voice icy. “I’m not sure if you recall, but you were the one who told me that Bea would always come before football and you are the one who decided you wanted to get married and you were the one who made all those speeches convincing me that you’d be with me for better or for worse. Well I’ve got news for you: it’s worse.” You get out of bed. “I’m going to change our daughter, and I hope next time I see you, you’ve had an attitude adjustment.”

That must get to him because he sits up and goes, “Babe-” but you’re already out the door.

You end up sitting with Bea on her rocker until 5am, which means you hear Jamie get up to leave with Roy. It also means you notice that he doesn’t come in to say goodbye, just leaves. You stare down at Bea in your arms. She has his eyes and the beginnings of your nose. By 6am you’ve made another choice, and you call your sister to ask her to help move some of your things into your old flat.

—

You leave a note on the counter that says: Jamie. Bea and I are giving you space, and you’re gone by 1. You spend all evening looking at your phone, waiting for a text from Jamie, or a call, or something. Nothing. Your sister doesn’t need much of an explanation and it’s your flat anyway, so she was alright with you and Bea moving in. She made dinner and held Bea, then forcibly made you go to sleep. Her work is flexible, so she said she’d take care of Bea until she had to leave on a trip in two days. 

Yet, although you finally had the chance to sleep, you couldn’t. You tossed and turned all night, periodically checking your phone for a text that never came.

—

A week and a half has gone by. Your sister is gone still, so it’s just you and Bea. She’s been crying so much recently, and the thought comes to you unbidden of every time Jamie has held her. She quiets down the moment she’s in his arms like clockwork. You’re running on no sleep and you need to go get groceries so that morning you pack up a diaper bag, put Bea in the car, and force yourself not to care that you look like absolute shit. 

You’re almost done shopping when you hear a voice call your name. You turn, and there’s Sam.

“I thought that was you,” he says. “I’ve been meaning to check up on you so I went by your house yesterday, but Jamie said you and Bea were out and he didn’t know when you’d be back. How are you?”

You let out a snort. “Oh he did, did he? That’s rich.”

Sam’s face shifts to concern. “Is everything alright? I don’t mean to pry, but part of the reason I wanted to see how you are is that Jamie has been terrible. He’s been an absolute prick for almost two weeks now and we all just assumed it was lack of sleep.”

You smile, because right now your options are that or cry.

“I’m living in my flat right now. My sister’s on vacation, so it’s just me and Bea. It’s kind of a lot, which is why I look like garbage. I don’t have time to clean or anything either, otherwise I’d invite you around. Anyway. Thanks for asking. Good to see you, Sam.” 

You walk away before you either overshare more or start crying, and in your haste you don’t see Sam watching you leave, concern written all over his face.

—

It’s the late afternoon when you hear a knock on your door. It’s Jamie your heart says, but when you open it, Sam, Dani, and Richard are standing on the step laden down with grocery bags, huge smiles on their face.

Before you can say anything, Sam says, “I hope this is not overstepping, but I noticed you had frozen meals in your cart this morning. I was thinking that we could cook you some meals to keep in the freezer, that way you do not have to worry about it.” You open your mouth to protest when Dani interjects. “Besides, we’re a family. Bea is my favorite niece and you are my second favorite sister. We should have seen if you needed help earlier.”

They look so sincere that you smile for the first time in a while and move to let them in. Richard goes to work clearing space in the kitchen while Sam and Dani organize their groceries. It looks like they’ve all gotten ingredients from their native countries, and Dani holds up a bag of chiles and says, “I brought these to make your favorite!” 

You’re not sure how he knows of your love for chile rellenos, but he does and as you go to sit on the couch to feed Bea, you feel something close to relief.

Bea is done eating and the kitchen is filled with light conversation and music when there is another knock on your door.

You open it to see Isaac, Colin, Zoreaux, Bumbercatch, and Jan Maas all decked out in cleaning gear and rubber gloves, holding various cleaning sprays, brooms, and mops.

To say you are speechless is an understatement.

“Sam texted us,” Isaac says. “Said something about needing a cleaning service and a babysitter.”

You let them in without a word.

The flat is filled with chatter as they stand around the living room. 

“Alright!” Isaac calls. “We’re going to divide and conquer! Colin, you’re on laundry. Zoreaux, you’re sweeping and mopping. Bumbercatch and Jan Maas, you’re on bathroom duty. Alright lads, let’s go!”

“Isaac,” Colin says, “what’s your job?”

Isaac looks at him. “I’m the captain, mate. I’m watching Bea.”

Groans go up from the boys and a chorus of “We want to hold her, why do you get to, I’m her favorite!” when Isaac silences them with an “Oi!”

“When you’ve finished your job and Bea and I have thoroughly inspected them, then maybe you can hold her after you’ve disinfected your hands and arms. Now get to it!”

“Isaac,” you say, pulling on his arm, “you don’t have to do this. Especially not the laundry or the bathrooms.”

He looks down at you, serious look on his face. “Is that for privacy reasons, or are you trying not to impose?”

You hesitate and debate lying. In the end, you tell the truth: “I don’t care about like privacy or whatever, it’s just gross. I don’t want you guys to have to do that.”

Isaac doesn’t respond, just says, “Can I wear the wrap?” so you go to get it and watch as he expertly puts it on and slides Bea in. She lets out a sigh and falls asleep on his chest.

“Right then. Now for your job,” he says to you.

You let out a singular laugh. “What do you have for me, captain?”

“I want you to go to your room, clear off the bed, close the door, and go to sleep. I’ll send Sam or Colin up to wake you if we need you. If you end up sleeping through then night, a few of us will stick around to make sure Bea’s alright. You still have Netflix, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you say. You start to head down the hall then turn and say, “Isaac?”

“Hm?” he replies.

“Thanks. This means more to me than you’ll ever know.”

Isaac waves that away then points to your bedroom door.

You walk in and shut the door, then are lulled to sleep by the white noise of having half of the Richmond team in your house cleaning, cooking, and reminding you that you are not alone.

— 

You’re woken up by Sam shaking your shoulder. It’s golden hour, so soft light streams through the room. The first thing you notice is how quiet it is. You sit up.

“What’s wrong?” you ask.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Sam says, but he’s not smiling. “We just need you downstairs for a minute.”

You follow him to the living room where the boys are standing behind a couch, arms crossed and backs to you, staring down something on the opposite couch.

Sam clears his throat and they turn to look at you. Bea is still passed out on Isaac in her wrap. They part slightly and you see what they’re looking at.

Jamie Tartt gives you a halfhearted wave from where he sits on your couch.

“Got a minute?” he asks.

Shit.

You sit across from him and just look.

He has the grace to look sheepish. “Look, d’you mind if we talk- like just you and me? Without-” he gestures to the boys.

“No,” Dani, Colin, and Jan Maas chorus, arms crossed, and Jamie nods once in a that’s fair type of way.

Jamie takes a deep breath. “Look, I- I was out with Roy today and we were training, and he called me a prick and he meant it, and maybe I was being a prick, but I shoved him and then he knocked me down and was all ‘what the fuck is wrong with you,’ and I said ‘none of your fucking business,’ and then he said something about a text from Sam and made me tell him what was going on. So I told him that you left and he said,” here Jamie does his best Roy Kent impression, “‘Did she leave or did you fucking kick her out because you were acting like a little bitch prima donna who can’t handle being a grown fucking man?’”

Jamie pauses for a moment. “So I thought about it, and I did fuckin kick you out like I was a little bitch prima donna. And the reason I didn’t text ya or call ya is because I thought you’d come back when you were ready, or maybe you left for good and I fucked something else up. And I didn’t want to be like me dad who was always showing up when my mum didn’t want him to, so I just stayed away. And I said that to Roy and he told me I needed to man the fuck up because I was acting like a whiny brat.” Jamie scratches the back of his neck. “I brought you flowers and came to apologize and tell you that I’m done acting like a kid.”

You squint at him and say, “Apologize for what, exactly?” because you want to know that he knows what he did.

Without hesitation Jamie says, “For telling you that Bea was your job and not mine, and for saying that I didn’t sign up for any of this and making it seem like I didn’t care and saying that I was going to sleep in a hotel by meself.”

Oh. So he does know.

There’s a ripple of whispered oh fucks and you realize that the lads don’t actually know what happened between you and Jamie, and this is the first time they’re hearing about it.

Before you can say anything, Jan Maas says, “How do we know you’ve changed?” followed by a chorus of “Yeah, that’s right,” from the boys.

“Eh, well,” Jamie begins before he is interrupted by a piercing cry from Bea. Isaac tries to hush her, but she just keeps going.

“There’s no way she’s hungry,” he says, “She just had a bottle fifteen minutes ago and I changed her five minutes after that.”

Jamie looks questioningly at you. “Can I-”

The whole team turns to look at you. You nod, and Isaac removes a still crying Bea and gently hands her to Jamie. She’s barely settled into his arms when she has gone completely silent, lets out a sigh, and falls asleep.

“I suppose that is that,” says Richard, and the rest of AFC Richmond shrugs.

“Jamie Tartt,” you say. Everyone looks at you again. “If you ever, and I mean ever pull shit like this again, I will fucking sic this entire room on you and I will call Roy and I will not care how long you end up in the hospital. I can’t raise Bea on my own, but it turns out that I don’t need you.”

Jamie looks like he’s about to cry a little and you soften.

“I don’t need you, but I want you. And- I do miss you.”

Jamie smiles at that and you get up to sit next to him. 

The boys murmur amongst themselves, and Isaac salutes you as he herds them out. You mouth thank you to him, and he waves it away yet again, leaving the three of you on the couch in comfortable silence for the first time in weeks.

—

Marriage is not easy, neither is raising a kid. Things didn’t automatically go back to how they were, but you and Jamie did get better. You got better at talking about your struggles, decided 2:30am is not a good time to fight, and began working out a healthy football-life balance. He trains with Roy three times a week instead of six, and Isaac and Colin babysit Bea once a month so you can go out. They’re the only ones besides Rebecca who are allowed to be with her unsupervised. (Not because the others are untrustworthy, but because they don’t know what to do with a baby) so by the time Theodore Dani Tartt comes around, you’ve got this thing nailed.

[save-the-villainous-cat]

A villain being forced to kneel for a group of heroes 👀

“Oh, I didn't think they could go that low,” the leader of the group joked. It was cruel, the hero knew that. With the villain’s calves sliced open, there was a hardly any chance that the villain could even get up. They looked at their leader who started taunting their nemesis. Big talk for someone who stood above an injured person.

Their jokes were of poor taste and the hero’s throat started to burn. They had been getting on their nerves for months but the hero had managed to mostly ignore it.

“Get lower, maybe you can start licking my boots...” They pushed the villain’s head down with two fingers and kicked their leg until the villain fell from their kneeling position. They couldn’t even use their hands to prevent their face from landing in the dirt. Their fingers were broken. Most of the heroes on the team turned away, searched for something to do instead of watching their leader’s cruelty.

“Look at you, how the mighty have fallen.” The leader laughed and put their boot between the villain’s shoulder blades. And then, with all their strength, they pushed down when the villain tried to struggle to their feet.

“I think you might be overstepping here,” the hero said. They walked towards their leader despite their head screaming at them not to disagree. The agency wasn’t blind, this institution wasn’t dumb. Everyone was aware of the leader’s tyranny. However, the city still let them work because they simply got things done. Even if it took inhumane measures. It wasn’t fair.

The leader turned around.

“What did you say?”

“That’s my villain.” The hero pointed at their nemesis on the ground. “My assignment, my problem, my responsibility.”

“Your villain?”

“I got assigned to them, yes. Your boss made that decision, actually.” They eyed the villain shortly. Blood dripped down their calves, their fingers were crooked and their breathing was definitely not normal. They wanted to shout at the next best medic to take care of them.

“Well—” their hand landed on the hero’s shoulder “— be glad that I got your back. This one was pretty nasty. You would’ve never gotten them.”

They squeezed the hero’s shoulder harshly and the hero understood the warning.

However, they didn’t really care.

They pushed the leader’s hand off their shoulder, basically slapping their hand away.

“Isn’t that lovely?” the hero asked. “You’re such a kind soul.”

They walked past them, feeling the stare in their back and their heart was beating harder than ever. They had the tiny suspicion that wasn’t the leader’s but the villain’s fault.

They kneeled down and took the villain’s face into their hands. Simply put, the villain looked awful. More dead than alive, anyway. The hero rubbed their thumb over the villain’s cheek over and over again.

“Technically, they’re mine now. I beat them and I captured them,” the leader spat.

“I need a medic over here,” the hero said. “Could you call them with all your kindness?”

“I don’t think you understood me. I am your leader. You don’t want to make me your enemy.” The hero sighed and mumbled a few reassuring words towards the villain before they helped them up. They stabilised the villain as good as they could but the villain was muscular and heavy.

“Of course not. It would be quite a pathetic fight.” The hero pulled their villain closer. “Since I am such an incompetent hero and definitely no role model. I can’t fight, can’t even follow orders properly.”

They cocked their head.

“Now, please call a medic. We are good people, aren’t we?”

The leader only scowled, having understood the sarcasm and demand in the hero’s voice. They left and the hero wasn’t sure if they actually got a medic or not.

“Thank you,” the villain whispered next to them, clinging to the hero’s chest.

“Anytime,” they answered. Their grip around the villain tightened and the hero had to admit, they were scared of letting them go again.

[natelia-aldelliz]

"I can't call Soap 'Johnny'," Alejandro grunts, an obvious smile in his voice.

"Don't," Soap answers immediately. "Only Ghost can pull that off."

Roach lifts an eyebrow. "And what am I supposed to call you then? Johnuald the third?"

Soap snorts, quietly enough that the others don't hear him, and sends him a look. Even in the dark, it's very obvious how much of a sunshine he is, his blue eyes sparkling with mirth.

Damn, Roach had never fallen for someone this fast before. Even with Simon, it had taken a few months. But for some reason, Johnny is so precious to him that he'd die - again - for him in a heartbeat.

"Jonathon? Jonah? Johnson? Johntay? I can keep going, I already had that conversation with Price years ago, and I had the internet back then. I had a pretty long list and I remember most of it."

"Cannae ye make yerself useful instead of bein a nuisance?" Soap whispers with a smile after quickly checking around that no one was paying him attention.

Roach gasps. "But being a nuisance is my true calling! You could say I like 'bugging' people, huh, get it, get it?" He beams when Soap shakes his head at him and goes through the wall.

The shadows are crawling outside, of course. He roams around, getting a rough headcount, then gets back at Soap with all the information. It's doable, honestly. Especially since Simon and him rigged several cars with explosives.

He is still a bit worried though, about Johnny's wound. He's not sure how it's possible, how he's still standing, but then again, he's a ghost talking to a living person, so there's that.

Rudy had said that no one except Alejandro can kill Alejandro, and Roach just has to wonder if Johnny got kind of the same deal. But Ale never gave any indication that he was seeing the burning person floating above his new friends, so maybe it's not the same.

With the clear intel he gives Soap, they make quick work of the Shadows and Price picks them up at the wall. If he was able to actually haunt people and not just follow them around uselessly, he'd stop haunting the Captain immediately as a thanks.

Because he's pretty sure Johnny actually needs some intense medical attention. He said that it didn't feel different than a leg or shoulder wound, but those definitely need more than just stitches and painkillers anyway.

It's very heartwarming, watching Soap greet the rest of the team with a puppyish energy, and he has to admit that it is kind of funny seeing Gaz and Price's faces when they notice the bullet hole in the front of his shirt.

The sight of Simon helping Johnny move along with a hand on the small of his back leaves him with mixed feelings.

There's the "I knew it!! I told you so!!" that he was expecting, of course, because he's always right and he did know it would happen. But there's also a pinch in his chest that he hadn't really expected. It's a feeling that he hadn't really felt since a really long time, since he was a teenager, probably.

Jealousy.

He hates it, he's always hated it. But the worst is he doesn't even know who he's jealous of. Perhaps he's finally remembering that he's dead and they're not, that all this flirting he's been doing with Johnny wouldn't have led to anything.

The grown arse sunshine of a man turns his head back, looking slightly confused, looking for him. When his eyes land on him, he beams so hard that it actually illuminates his whole face and Roach can't do anything except gravitate towards him like a moth to a light.

Wrong bug, he snorts internally.

"What's with you, smiley face?" he hears Simon ask when he gets closer.

Johnny is still looking straight at him, his smile getting softer. "Nothing," he answers, his gaze burning Roach more than the fire had. "Just glad you're here and glad we're leaving."

[definitelynotstable]

Camomile pt. 9 [Ghost x gn!Reader]

pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4, pt. 5, pt. 6, pt. 7, pt. 8, pt. 9, pt. 10

AN: Ok this series just started out as cute one shots and now I have to think of a plot god damn.

Synopsis: The 141 celebrate your return to duty with a night out at the local pub. Ghost and you argue over Price's decision to clear you for duty. Word count: 1.8k Warnings: Casual drinking, mention of past trauma, arguments Ghost x gn!Reader (callsign Rags): Soap doesn’t know what kombucha is, Gaz doesn’t like mulled wine and Ghost gets a bit overprotective. Fluff, light-angst, etc.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

It’s nearly a month till you’re cleared for duty. You would be lying if you said you hadn’t been lonely. The guys were gone for recon missions half the time and you were either stuck behind a desk playing secretary, in physic therapy or in therapy therapy. It was a tiring routine. 

But it didn’t stop you from feeling a little proud when you were able to present Price with a clean bill of health. He’d raised a skeptical brow as he skimmed the mental health section – no one in the military was well in that regard and most of you knew how to con a therapist. The nightmares hadn’t stopped and you supposed they never would. But  you’d stopped jumping at random sounds or flinching when touched unexpectedly. You were fit for work and you knew it. 

“Everything okay, Captain?” You asked, felling slightly nervous. He could, in theory, refuse to accept the medical certificate and write you off. The man instead sighed and with a flick of his pen he signed off on it. 

“You have any problems, you come to me – am I clear?” He said sternly, leaning his elbows on his desk and creating a steeple with his fingertips. “I’m not stupid – wiser soldiers than you and I take years to get over this kind of shit, Rags. No on e would blame you off you needed more time.”

You frown, jaw set. “I’m ready, sir.”

He looks at you for a moment, eyes hard and unwavering – searching for any cracks in your resolve. Finally he nods, pushing up with his hands on the desk to stand. “Alright,” he reaches over the desk to shake your hand, “Welcome back, sergeant.”

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

“Good on ye!” Soap claps you on the back with a grin, “Glad tae have ye back!”

Soap and Gaz had negotiated with Price on the optics of a mid-week visit to the local pub. They never confirmed nor denied his verdict. You suspect permission wasn’t explicitly given. 

Nevertheless, here you were. The three of you crammed into the usual booth in the back corner, a spot with the best view of all possible exists and entries. An old habit. It wasn’t particularly fancy – some might even call it dingy. But you liked the exposed brick walls, the dented and paint chipped bar made it feel homey. You favourite part was the roaring fire in the centre of the wall at the back, cracked leather armchairs with slightly scratchy pillows arranged in front of it. There was a dartboard off to one side, the wall behind completely littered in holes from drunken misses. The health and safety concerns behind having darts in a pub was certainly still up for debate – though you’d certainly spent a few evenings versing Gaz at the game.

“Thanks mate,” you smile over your mug of mulled wine – another reason this spot was a favourite – “Price was a bit hesitant, but I don’t think he could say no to the med-cert.”

“You’d be surprised,” Gaz remarked, some foam from his beer clinging to his upper lip, “he held LT back from an op once, claimed he faked the certificate.”

“And had he?”

“I had.” The low voice makes you jump as Ghost himself slides in next to Gaz, in the space across from you. “In fairness, I was a lot younger than I am now – and stupider.”

“Can’t’ve been that long ago then, mate.” Gaz jokes, passing the Lieutenant the drink he’d bough for him earlier. Ghost gives his arm a punch but thanks Gaz quietly for the drink anyway, taking a small sip. 

“What held ye up?” Soap asks when the lieutenant shrugs of his jacket.

“Bloody paperwork,” he grumbles, “I don’t envy you, Rags. Just a couple of hours has me going mental – I can’t fathom a full day.”

You nod sympathetically, “Yeah, can’t say I’d recommend it.”

“Rags was just tellin’ us Price cleared ‘em for duty,” Soap says proudly, “I said we’d each buy ‘em a drink.”

“That so?” Ghost raises a pale brow at you, balaclava pulled up so he can drink. You blush under his stare. “Not sure how he’d react if you showed up to trainin’ hungover.”

You scoff, “It’s a week night, I’m drinking mulled wine.”

“Surely mulled wine can still get you drunk.” Gaz says, setting his empty glass down with a thud.

You shake your head with a laugh, “They cook it out, Gaz. There isn’t much alcohol left in here at all.”

“But surely there’s an amount you could have that’d do it – like kombucha – right?”

“What in the world is kombucha?!” Soap splutters, licking at the beer on his upper lip. You laugh as Gaz attempts to explain it. 

“Tha’ sounds horrid.” The scot says, looking ill. 

“It’s not bad,” you say, still grinning at Soap’s expression. “I’m sure there is an amount, Gaz, but you’d probably die of overconsumption before getting drunk, or something like that.”

“Boring.” Gaz mutters, flicking his empty glass away, “What’s the point in non-alcoholic wine, anyway?”

“Because they put spices and shit in it – it’s delicious.”

“Doubt that.”

“Here, try some,” you shove your half empty mug in his direction, some splashed onto the table, “it’s good, I promise.”

Gaz wrinkles his nose, pushing the mug away with a single finger, “I’m ok, thanks.”

You roll your eyes and reach out to take your drink back when a pale hand intercepts you. Ghost takes a long sip and licks the excess from his lips, watching you with something playful in his eyes. 

“You’d do well to expand your palette, Gaz,” the lieutenant drawls, setting the mug back down in front of you, “instead of only drinking beer like you’ve just turned eighteen.”

Gaz snorts indignantly, “Ok, grandad.”

Ghost just smirks, sculling the rest of his whiskey.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Though Gaz and Soap are smarter than to get drunk the night before an early training, it still takes Ghost and you a while to drag them away from the bar. 

“Social butterflies,” you scoff, slumping onto the couch in the kitchen after successfully directing the two men to their rooms. Ghost clicks the door to the hallway shut and flicks in the jug. 

“Horny bastards.” Ghost offers instead and you laugh.

“All it takes is for the pair to have a single sip of alcohol and suddenly the pub’s their oyster.”

The lieutenant hums in agreement. “Camomile?”

“Yes please,” you groan, kicking off your boots and sinking further into the couch. You sling an arm across your eyes but still watch the man as he potters around in the kitchen. You smile as he reshuffles the mug shelf to find your favourite mug. He finds it and turns to place it on the bench next to his when he notices you watching.

“What?”

You grin, snuggling further into the couch with a sigh.“Nothing.”

The lieutenant huffs, returning to the mugs. Steam curls around him as the boiling water hits the cool ceramic. God he looks gorgeous in such a domestic setting. You’ll never get over it. 

“Here,” a mug hovers in front of your face, you push yourself up and take it from him with a small “thanks”.

Instead of settling at the table like usual, the lieutenant nods at the other side of the couch. “Scoot.”

You curl your legs under you, careful not to spill your tea as the couch shifts as he sinks down next to you. 

“So,” he says, leaning into the arm of the chair and angling himself to face you, “Price cleared you for duty, huh?”

You nod slowly, unsure where this is going. “Albeit hesitantly, but yes.”

“Hmm.” He replies, taking a long sip from his mug. 

You frown, “What? You disagree?”

“I didn’t say that.”

You scoff, “Ok well that reaction heavily implied you did.”

He leans forward, eyes hard. “I just think – look none of us would judge you if you needed more time.”

“It’s been over a month!” You point out, exasperated. “Price wouldn’t have said yes if he didn’t think I was ready –”

–“I never said I thought you weren’t ready –“

“Then what are you saying?!” You cry, hitting the side of the couch with your free hand, Ghost watches you with wide eyes. “What is your problem?”

“I’m just saying – recovery doesn’t have a deadline.”

“I know that,” you snap, “but I can't keep babying myself. It's been long enough.”

The man across from you narrows his cobalt eyes, “Babying yourself? You call healing from trauma babying yourself?”

“No, I call wrapping myself in cotton wool and avoiding anything that reminds me of what happened babying myself.”

“Or maybe it's about bein’ cautious,” Ghost replies, voice stern and hard as steel, “about making sure you're in the right mental state before jumpin’ back into a warzone.”

“I've faced worse – we all have. I'm not going to let fear control me.” You’re glaring at him now and he glares back.

He shakes his head. “This isn't about fear, it's about being smart. You could be a liability out there if you're not mentally prepared.”

You let out a disbelieving laugh, pushing yourself off of the couch. “So now you think I can't handle myself? That I'm a liability to the team?” 

“I never said that.” He growls firmly. “But if you're not thinking clearly, you put yourself and others at risk.”

“You're overthinking this.” You hiss, “I told you I’m fine.”

“You're not fine!” Ghost mirrors you, pushing himself to his feet where he towers over you, eyes shimmering. “You're pushing yourself into something you're not ready for.”

You push him with your freehand. He doesn’t budge and it only adds fuel to the fire. “And you're being overprotective, as always!”

The lieutenant steps closer, his voice low and intense “Because I care about you, damn it.”

You pause, mouth slightly agape – your retort forgotten. 

“I care about what happens to you out there.” He says, stepping closer, eyes softer now.

“I know,” you say, searching his eyes, “I know you do. And I don’t expect you to understand. I just need you to respect my choice.”

You watch as he sighs, shoulder slumping. “I do understand,” he murmurs, “and I do respect your choice, I just –“

You cut him off by stepping closer, wrapping your arms around him. He tenses for a moment but relaxes in your hold. “I know.” You whisper into his warm chest, “I know you understand.”

He sighs again, arms finally wrapping around you, a hand settling in your hair. “I’m sorry for raising my voice.”

You laugh into his chest, “I raised mine first, I should be the one apologising. “

He lowers his chin to rest on the top of your head. “I know you’ve been trying, I know you’re doing better. I just can’t help but think of how you were when we found you –“

“Shh,” you hush, rubbing small circles into his back, “I’m ok, you got me back. I’m safe.”

A deep breath shudders through his chest beneath your cheek. “Promise?”

You pull away, his arms loosen but still around you. “Promise.”

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

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I'm baaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!!

My sister, Honey, brought me home last night so I could surprise everyone at her early birthday party (today is her birthday). I was going to be coming home anyway, but I'm glad I didn't have to rely on the buses to get me home since none of them go directly from Northfield to Ware. The party was great, I didn't get home until almost eleven, and I didn't get to sleep til after midnight, but I have been writing for a while to get some of my ideas out. It's good to be home, but I'm not really looking forward to heading back to work in about ten minutes. I can just tell it's going to be so much fun (she says sarcastically).

Now, putting that whole mess aside and moving onto something absolutely amazing, I saw your graduation post on Insta! Congratulations, El! All of the hard work you've put in over the last five years has finally paid off and I am so over-the-moon happy for you. You deserve a looong break after all of that. I'm hoping to finish making a little something as a congratulations, but the only hint I'm giving you is that it has something to do with a particular Chicago-musical-based trend on TikTok.

Now, I wanted to get everything that happened at camp - good, bad, and weird - out of my head, since a lot happened. I realize I never said it before, but I arrived at camp on the 5th of July - a day earlier than everyone else - because, as the pseudo-niece of the camp's director (he was my aunt's ex and has been a friend of the family since long before I was born), I wanted to be there to help get everything ready for the staff weekend. I've worked the summer there before and been a camper since I was maybe eight or nine, so I know the place inside and out. A majority of Camp Wanamaker's layout is similar to Camp Northfield's, and if the name sounds familiar, it's the camp name I used way back during the winter prompts of 2022 - Making an Effort, I believe it was.

Camp Northfield is different in the way the cabins are laid out - boys on the west side of the grounds, girls on the east side, and co-ed lodging (usually for workers and families) in the middle. The swimming pool, sports fields, campfire pit, and medical areas are similar, if not the same, but the music hall, dance studio, ropes course, and playhouse are something I based off of an all-girls camp I went to for a couple summers that was, thankfully, paid for by my friend's family as I definitely would not have been able to afford the $9,275 price tag - Camp Wicosuta.

To be honest, it's been years since I was a camper there, but now that I've given the Camp Wico map a glance, I can see how most of Camp Wanamaker's layout is the same. I'll put up a picture of Camp Wico's map, but you'll definitely see I moved some stuff around to fit my mental layout better. Like, for example, the changing rooms by the lake would be on the right side instead, as it's currently where I see the Lakeside Lodge being; the Main House and Bungalow are where I picture the Library and Art Barn; the Art Barn on the map just doesn't exist in my head as I've just expanded the playground area (that's where Royce and Miles had that water balloon fight with some kids); the dining hall and main office are closer together in my head; and, well, I'll let you imagine the rest as you've read Camp Wanamaker and have your own vision for it, I'm sure.

I don't know if you can see the resemblance here, but I know I can. It kind of makes me wish that I'd taken the summer to work there as it feels very much like what I picture Camp Wanamaker. Well, apart from the fact that it's an all-girls camp, that is lmao.

Now, onto what's happened so far!

There was a huge thunderstorm that lasted all day and into the night. Because of high winds, a wire from a telephone pole landed on the front porch of a nearby house, and it burned the front porch of that house but didn't damage the rest of it; a tree fell on a car in the parking lot - yay for insurance - and the power went out for almost four hours, which meant no air conditioning, no fans, no showers for the sweaty abominations we called campers, and no popcorn for movie night. It was a catastrophe.

Baby’s first sunburn. That's right - ya girl is naturally tan due to my dad's family being a blend of Mediterranean and Native American, and despite the mix of Irish and French on my mom's side of the family, I have never gotten a sunburn before in my life. However, I got my very first sunburn after falling asleep on a floating unicorn in the lake while listening to an audiobook I saved to my phone. Naturally, I was in a bit of pain, but it turned into a tan after a day or so, so it wasn't nearly as horrible as my pasty-white older sisters always make it out to be.

Nacho night! We spread tin foil over the tables in the mess hall and had a nacho dump night. It wasn't nearly as messy as we thought it would be, and I really enjoyed it. I wish I had taken pictures of it, but I leave my phone in my cabin for meals, so my Mount Kilimanjaro of nachos will have to remain in my brain. Just know, they were incredible.

Made a librarian friend, Susan. Susan is a 73yo librarian who, frankly, doesn't give a damn anymore. I adore her and her no-bullshit attitude, and I wish she worked at the library down the street from my house. Susan gave me a stack of extra books they were going to toss out soon, including some old copies of S.E. Hinton's books and some books that they mistakenly bought 2-3 extra copies of. She said I could visit her anytime, and I plan to. I love Susan. She’s a real one.

A group of Amish people visited to help fix the horse stables. We had multiple children try to “help”. The Amish didn’t mind and let them. They are cool and enjoyed the snow cones we made them before they left.

Multiple days of sun showers. Danced in the rain a lot this summer. Felt very reminiscent of Can I Have This Dance from HSM3. 10/10, very fun.

Apparently, someone shot Trump at a rally. We didn’t know anything about it until the newspaper came for one of the office ladies. Seriously... what is this country coming to? I'm contemplating moving abroad once I have the money to do so. It's getting ridiculous out here.

On a better note, we had a visiting camp join us one weekend. Camp Nero. They are a medieval/renaissance camp where everyone runs around in full costume. I "jousted" very beautiful, very sweet Lady Gilmoira Embers of Willowdale (or, as I later discovered, Kenzie of Salem). She was epic. I lost. A group of us played a DND one-shot that night. I ended up just barely making my second death-saving throw against a 50s biker-esque tiefling warlock whose gang chased us on possessed motorcycles. Twas epic. Would absolutely join them again.

I managed a puppet show. We had a talking lion. I feel like whoever wrote the script must have smoked something before working on it. It was hilarious. I'm waiting for my CIT to send me the video she recorded of one of our rehearsals, but if I get it, I'll post it.

Last week, staff members had the chance to do fun presentations on their favorite things that we would present after the campers left on Saturday. Three completely separate people did presentations on sleep. Two girls did a shared one on the Romanovs; it was very informative and well-researched. 10/10. I did one about the Titanic (big shock, I know), and two of my friends recreated the Jack and Rose thing with one of those dolly push-cart things while singing Celine Dion. It was not planned, but they did great.

A literal eight-year-old called me “Mom” on accident because I’m the same age as his mom… Yeah, I had to do some mental math and suffer through a bit of an existential crisis with that one, but he was sweet and really well-mannered. I gave him extra marshmallows at campfire time. 

Two teen morons dumped vodka into the orange juice during adventure week. Both got sent home after drunkenly confessing to their crimes. Thankfully, the staff caught it before the children could be affected. I’m grateful I prefer tomato juice.

To keep this list relatively short, I befriended our camp babies - Smores, Elvira, and Mochi. Smores is a mouthy cat (as you can see) who wandered onto camp property years ago. Some campers lured her in with bits of graham crackers, and she never left. She now resides in her own little area of the main lodge where campers go to spoil her with treats before going upstairs for lunch in the mess hall. Elvira is an all-black cat who Chief Byron and his wife brought to camp as an emotional support cat. She doesn't take this job seriously anymore and will automatically climb onto people's shoulders just to lay across them like a scarf. She loves to cuddle and makes excellent biscuits when she wants to be snuggled or get belly rubs. Mochi is the camp's two-year-old husky. She's taken over for Elvira as the camp's emotional support animal, and loves all the attention she gets every day. She's very spoiled, but I had to put Mochi in jail (her crate) because she ate a kid's unattended mochi ice cream, and cannibalism is frowned upon at our camp. Her eyes were killing me internally, but she had to remain there until dessert was over.

Also, I got the chance to work on some old drawings I had started drawing on my phone waaaay back. I mean, like, 2019-2021. I think the only one I completed is one I started back in 2022, right after you posted the first part of the prologue for TMM, which feels insane now that I think about it, but these are the lengths I went to in order to keep myself from boredom between archery groups. Some of the pictures are faceless, as I can't draw faces realistically all that well, but the one I did for TMM is one of the last "cartoon-ish" pieces I've done, so that one has faces. It just felt wrong to not give them faces when I feel fairly confident drawing in that art style. I was originally going to draw everyone in outfits I've seen in my mom's yearbook and my family photo albums from that decade, but I ended up with only Bentley and Kona before I got home. Before I go into detail on the other pictures I finished, here's the one for TMM as well as the more saturated version of it (on the right) that my C.I.T (counselor-in-training) Lily, said looks cooler:

Personally, I like the og, but that's just because I'm used to looking at it. I was going to go back in and add more details as the story progresses, but I kept it simple in the end. I might add more characters if I feel up to it, but for now, it is what it is. Kona's little friendship bracelet, her Kool-Aid dyed hair, Bentley's perpetual injuries, and his watch, despite him never being on time for anything in his life (including his own birth, lmao) are the only hints to anything that I ended up keeping. I was also going to do their DnD characters once I figured out what they would be, but maybe that'll wait until later on. After all, now that I'm playing DnD myself, I want to make it as accurate as possible.

My gang's characters are chaotic at best and are definitely not a great example to work off of, but DnD art is so much fun. In our little group of six, we've got a 500lb Tortle Bard named Nik who flirts with everything that so much as looks his way; a Dragonborn Fighter named Oybek who is all brawn, and absolutely no brains, but eats the flesh of his enemies after he kills them to absorb some of their abilities; a variant human Warlock-Sorcerer named Denji who has chainsaws for arms and has some kind of deal with the mafia; a Half-Elf Gunslinger Rogue named Jordeau who wears only red and has this weird obsession with dragons; and my character Irynia, a High Elf Twilight Cleric of Apollo whose only mission is to restore light to the Underdark, but she gets tied up with this group because they're a bunch of absolute morons who think with their fists more than their brains. Yeah... we're an odd bunch, that's for sure.

Anyway, my unfinished, (mostly) faceless drawings include a very shakily finger-drawn, unpolished picture of Vivien playing drums, an old, semi-finished drawing of what I originally thought Mick and Butchy would look like together on a beach date, a very clearly unfinished partial sketch of something that will eventually become Jade playing guitar (ignore the fact that her skin is super pale, I have yet to add any shading), a half-assed attempt at drawing Miles sleeping that will, presumably, take forever to get further than its current state as the coloring for the background has become my undoing, and a somewhat blurry picture of a few OCs in the Five Nights At Freddy's: Security Breach universe (Juliet as a Mazercise instructor, Mick as a Kid's Cove snack stand worker, Carrie as a Roxy Raceway race starter, Vivien as a nail artist in the GlamRock salon, and Kona as a photographer for the photo ops in Rockstar Row). The last one is super blurry, but I think that's because I layered each image onto one canvas instead of editing it properly later on, so that's entirely my bad. I don't have the originals of each, so this is all I have to work with. I am going to go back and edit everything now that I can actually use my tablet to draw instead of my phone, but that'll take a while.

I could nitpick these pictures all day since they're not finished, but some of these were my first actual attempts at doing something realistic, so I'm giving myself a bit of a pass on them and allowing myself to feel alright with how they look. It'll all improve with time and effort, I'm sure. All the same, I had fun with them.

So, yeah, have fun with those. They are just rough drafts right now - especially the faceless ones - but I enjoyed working on them a bit this last month, so I wanted to share them before I finish them off. I might go back to my old style in some ways - like I did with the Miles one - as it's super hard to draw realistic features, but I'm pleased with them for the most part.

Now, hopefully, I'll be able to sit down and read through everything you've posted lately because, tbh, I feel like I've missed a lot while I was gone, lmao. I am super excited to read through your post about Starlight Express since it's just not possible for me to see it over here. If you have a slime tutorial 👀 hook your girl up! I can't find one for The Outsiders, sadly. I have the script, so I've been reading that and riding that emotional rollercoaster (or train, I suppose, since that's a huge theme in the background of everything), but I would love to watch Starlight Express if you have that.

Anyway, I promise I'll be back to writing STDP and CW2 soon as I need to adjust to my old schedule again, but for now, here's a sneak peek of the first five-ish pages of the first chapter of Camp Wanamaker 2 (still calling it Electric Boogaloo, ngl, but yeah)!

Warm summer air filtered through the open window, rustling the curtains that danced along the sill. Air conditioners had yet to be put into the upstairs windows of the Birch family cabin as their arrival the night before had been more of a drop-your-belongings-by-the-door-and-crash kind of arrival than a calm, well-planned one. The air conditioners stored in the basement would be taken out sooner or later, but in the meantime, the slightly overheated log cabin was cooled by open windows that allowed the sixty-degree air to clear out the dust that had settled since their last visit to New Hampshire and a handful of oscillating floor fans that send waves of chilled air circulating throughout the rooms.

The group’s mid-afternoon departure from the California airport had been a rush of overstuffed backpacks and hastily checked baggage, making their late-night arrival at the Logan International Airport in Boston even more chaotic. The almost two-hour drive from the airport to the log cabin had been… entertaining, to say the least. The Birches had rented a fifteen-passenger van ahead of time, allowing everyone a seat as well as providing extra room for their belongings in the trunk and on the roof rack. Miles had sandwiched his girlfriend between himself and one of their additional guests - a certain blonde Texan who seemed oblivious to her best friend’s raging red cheeks. Ignoring the conversations around them, Royce had watched from the far seat as Bentley’s face smushed against the window within the first few minutes of the long drive, his steady breaths fogging up the glass, but it wasn’t until Kona’s head landed on his shoulder that Royce had felt the pull of exhaustion himself. 

It had been Vivien’s idea to invite Kona. The two had become rather close during Vivien’s initial stay with them - something Vivien chalked up to having a sister the same age as the younger blonde - and after spending another spring break with them to celebrate her early graduation, Vivien decided to invite Kona along for the summer. Kona had initially brushed off the invitation, claiming she wouldn’t want to intrude on the girl’s summer of fun, but after some pushing from Bentley and Vivien, telling her about all of the fun activities she could do without her parents even knowing she had left their small town, Kona relented.

Royce remembered how excited Vivien was after that, spouting off about all the things they could do and how fun it would be, all while Kona just smiled and nodded. Vivien had tried to convince Juliet to join them as well that day, but the blonde Texan needed a bit more convincing. Camping just wasn’t her thing. She hated bugs with a passion, hiking had never been her forte, and the last time she went fishing, she had ended up driving her dad to the emergency room after her hook had embedded itself into his arm. It wasn’t until after Vivien began showing her pictures of the camp - the log cabins Vivien made sure to mention had plumbing and air conditioning, the playhouse all decked out from their performance of Hairspray the year before, and, most importantly, the dance studio - that Juliet admitted to being tempted to join them.

Carrie had settled the matter entirely, only slightly joking when she mentioned to Juliet that, if she stayed at the camp, she would get to spend not only time with Vivien and herself but also with a certain auburn-haired boy they knew all too well. Juliet had initially argued that she and Riven had nothing between them - something neither Carrie nor Vivien entirely believed - but after much talking and more than one drink, Juliet had been convinced to join them “for the sake of the dance studio.”

Vivien had gone back home not long after getting Juliet roped into her scheming plans for the summer, but that wasn’t the end of the list of people joining them at the summer camp that year. After telling their friends about her planned trip north to visit the future, Kona had managed to rope August and Zack into the group, using her knowledge of August’s people-pleasing tendencies and the ease with which Zack argued with her to her advantage. After practically begging August so that she "wouldn't have to go alone" and taunting Zack about him not wanting to go because he was too much of a wuss to climb the ropes course, it wasn't long before Kona sealed the deal, adding two more members to their ever-growing party.

What she had forgotten, however, was to tell the people in charge of bringing them that she had invited extra guests. 

It was quite the sight. They had shown up on their bicycles with their backpacks filled to the brim with clothes, ready to leave at a moment’s notice, only to find out that nobody other than Kona had any idea that they were joining them. Upon questioning, Bentley insisted he hadn’t known, something corroborated by August and Zack as they had simply been asking questions about what the camp was like, not if they could join. Faced with the reality that she had been too excited about the trip to think about asking anyone to let them join the already large group, Kona asked if it was alright, something Mick encouraged Butchy to agree to as the kids were already there and ready for the trip.

After arriving at the cabin, everyone had pretty much gone to their respective rooms and crashed, but with the five extra people under their roof, it wasn’t as simple as assigning rooms and hoping for the best. The upstairs rooms were filled easily by the usual suspects - Royce and Bentley took up their usual room while August and Zack shared an air mattress they pressed up against the dresser for the time being; Mick and Butchy had Mick’s old bedroom that still had a handful of glow-in-the-dark stars that no longer glowed plastered on the ceiling that was too high for anyone to get down without a ladder; then, Miles and Carrie had the room Miles’ had been given years prior - the scent of his cologne and, now, her perfume clinging to the walls. The only difference, really, was that Lela’s usual room was shared with Juliet and Kona - Kona using the plush, oversized chaise as a base of operations while the older girls decided to share the queen-sized bed for the next night or so until camp started.

Nobody really complained about their sleeping arrangements, not that anyone felt inclined to argue at all as the clock ticked over to two in the morning just as they walked in the door. Normally, Royce would have to bite his tongue to keep himself from complaining about the snoring that filled the room he now shared with not only his brother, but also Bentley’s friends. However, once his headphones were on and an ASMR video was playing just loud enough to block out the noise, he found himself drifting off in the hopes that he would wake up in a matter of minutes, wanting nothing more than to see his Vivien. When he woke up almost five hours later, the sun glaring through his bedside window, he had to force himself to go about his normal routine of writing something about the previous day in his journal as he realized Vivien wouldn’t be home from her final skating practice of the summer for at least half an hour.

Royce’s pen wiggled between his fingers, the nib tapping the pages of his open notebook with each downswing. He had been contemplating what to write for the greater part of a half hour already, yet nothing had come to mind apart from the only thought that consistently came to mind whenever he opened his eyes - Vivien. Was she on the ice already? Was she having a good day? Did she make herself another picture-worthy coffee with a foam heart in it? Would she show it to him later, even if it wasn’t? For what must have been the hundredth time since he woke up that morning, Royce turned toward the open window beside his bed and imagined her climbing in through it the way she almost always did while they were there.

Granted, Vivien didn’t know they were there. They weren’t supposed to arrive in Sanbornton for another day. Still, the idea of her setting the ladder against the house and climbing up to crawl into his bedroom window made Royce smile. Now that he had admitted it to not only himself but also to Vivien, he couldn’t wait to see her, wrap her in the tightest hug he could muster, and tell her how much he loved her. Two months was simply too long a time to go without her. Even though, technically, it had only been two weeks in his world since he had seen her, it had been almost two whole months for her. He had gone back with her to her graduation that took place just after April vacation, but had returned home after her family’s celebration with the excuse that he had to go back to school. He had missed her since the moment the Birch's van left her family’s driveway, but she had left his world on the first of June - his two-week wait a lot shorter than the month and a half she had to spend waiting for him.

His two weeks without contact with Vivien had felt like torture; he could only imagine how it must have felt for her to spend nearly two months without being able to contact him.

He knew he had to see her before all the workers began arriving at camp the next morning. He wasn’t going to be able to sit around, waiting for another day, knowing she was within walking distance from the house. Glancing around at his slumbering roommates, Royce took in a deep breath and scribbled out a note for his brother and friends on a spare piece of paper before slowly tearing it out of his journal so as to not make much noise. Making sure they were all still asleep, he quietly closed his journal and tucked it away under his pillow before slipping out of his bed, grabbing his phone, placing the note on his blanket, and making his way out of the room, grabbing a hoodie on his way out. Pulling the hoodie on over a t-shirt he was sure he had gotten from Butchy at some point, Royce rounded the banister and headed downstairs, avoiding the creaky steps to the best of his ability before padding over to the mudroom to slip on a pair of sneakers he had abandoned over winter break.

Sneaking into the garage and softly closing the door behind him, Royce jogged over to the bicycles he and Bentley had gotten dirt cheap at a garage sale, swiping away cobwebs and dust as he pulled his bike into the early morning sunlight that poured in from the still-open garage door. Forgoing his helmet for the short trip, Royce ensured his tires were full enough before swinging a leg over the bike and gliding down the small hill the Birch’s cabin was perched on. The air was crisp and clear as he pedaled down the street, morning dew still lingering on the grass and leaves as wind whipped through his hair, but Royce didn’t care about the way his cheeks burned or the way the rubber of the well-loved handlebars flaked onto his palms. He was going to see his girlfriend, and, frankly, that was all that mattered.

Smirking to himself as the O’Brian family’s winery came into view, the event barn on the edge of the property appeared first as he pushed himself to stand and push through the rest of the ride. The home’s large veranda was typically vacant; however, that morning, a head of honey-brown, nearly blonde hair swung limply from the porch swing as it creaked back and forth. Dismounting his bike as it rolled to a stop, Royce grinned and stepped up to the edge of the porch, reaching up to tug a strand of the person’s hair. Whipping her head back over the edge of the swing, Abigail’s olive green eyes widened as she realized just who had pulled her hair.

Nearly colliding with the wooden planks that made up the deck, Abby scrambled off the swing as Royce jogged up the stairs, her arms flinging around Royce’s middle as she laughed, “What the hell, man!”

Awkwardly patting Abby on the back, Royce chuckled, “Good to see you too, Abby.”

Releasing her sister’s boyfriend, Abby took a step back and glanced back at the house as she rested her hands on her hips, “Did you two keep this a secret or something, ‘cause that’s so not cool.”

Royce shook his head, tucking his hands into the pockets of his pajama pants, “Actually, she doesn’t even know I’m here yet.”

A smirk took over Abby’s face as her eyes practically glittered. She loved surprises, especially if she was one of the people working behind the scenes to make someone else happy. Being able to surprise her older sister - the same sister who prided herself on being some all-knowing, unsurprisable being - brought an almost maniacal laugh rippling through her. “Sissy’s gonna be pissed I saw you first. I hope you know that.”

With a soft laugh, Royce gestured to the front door and asked, “Is she upstairs?”

As she ascended the front steps once more, Abby shook her head, a sigh falling from her lips as she picked her Kindle up from where it had tumbled to the creaky veranda floorboards. “She’s out with Riven still. From what Riven told Dad on the phone, though, practice didn’t go well.”

As Abby sat back down on the swing, toeing her fluffy socks against the creaky boards to push herself back and forth slightly, Royce took in a deep breath and leaned against the railing, sighing out his question, “That Lexi girl didn’t stop in again, did she?”

Abby was quick to shake her head. “Thankfully, no. She’s fucked back off to Maine and is probably back to harassing the people up there.”

Relieved to know that Vivien’s ex-girlfriend was no longer trying to weasel her way into Vivien’s head, Royce crossed his arms over his chest and asked, “Any idea what happened, then?”

“I didn’t get the whole gist of the conversation,” Abby sighed, her shoulder just barely tugging into a shrug as she glanced out at the driveway, “but Dad said it would be a miracle if she made it home without working herself into a panic attack. Something about her dance teacher, I’m sure.”

Umber eyes rolled as Royce fought the urge to cuss out the elderly ballet teacher. He had met the woman twice in his nearly two-year-long relationship with Vivien, and neither time had been pleasant. Her constant remarks about Vivien’s “obvious lack of feminine grace” made Royce’s blood boil the longer he was subjected to her snarky, nasally voice, but it was her remark about his girlfriend’s “almost manly build and borderline morbid weight” that resulted in him having to be carried away by Riven. With the ease of someone who had been subjected to the old bitty’s torturous bullying, Vivien handled the woman with a blank face and calm tone, but Royce had a hard time refraining from lunging into the classroom and pushing the woman out the nearest window. He knew all too well how deeply the woman’s words hurt Vivien internally, especially as most of the things the woman took issue with were things Vivien couldn’t change about herself, but she always kept a stoic expression in front of the woman just to keep herself from scrambling to find a new teacher.

Glancing at the front door, Royce met Abby’s olive eyes and asked, “Think I should talk to your dad about it before she gets here?”

“Probably,” Abby nodded, shifting to lift her legs onto the swing, folding them, and resting her elbows on her thighs as she scanned Royce’s eyes. “Riven called Dad, so something has to be wrong, but since they’re not rushing to the hospital, I’d say there's a good chance it’s something psychological rather than something physical." The blonde thought for a moment and sighed, tipping her head to the side in a sort of shrug before tacking on, "Although, given how much Vivien hates hospitals, I guess we can't be sure. My advice: brace for the worst, but hope for the best.”

Nodding to himself as he sucked in a deep breath, Royce pushed off of the railing and headed for the door, turning back to offer Abby a small smile as he said, “Thanks, Abby.”

Brushing off his gratitude with a shrug, Abby grinned, “Anything to keep my favorite ship afloat.” Unlocking her Kindle and turning her attention to the novel on the screen as Royce pushed open the door, she called out, “I won’t tell her you’re here. She needs a happy surprise after this week.”

Poking his head back outside, Royce observed the middle O’Brian child for a moment, waiting until she slowly lifted her gaze from the device in her hands before saying, “Seriously, Abby, thank you.”

Although she had always gotten along well with Royce - even before her sister began dating him - Abby suddenly found herself grateful her sister had better taste in men than she did women. All things considered, Royce was a total upgrade from the psycho stalker Vivien was previously with. Nodding minutely at her fellow middle child, Abby allowed herself to smile as she said, “You’re welcome. Dad should be in his office, by the way. He’s avoiding Mom like the plague-” she paused to glance back at the event barn where she knew her mom was lurking, making sure the woman wasn’t outside before turning back to Royce and stage-whispering, “-and, TBH, I can’t blame him.”

Nodding in understanding, Royce lowered his voice and muttered, “Thanks for the heads up.”

Giving the nearly eighteen-year-old a mock salute, Abby turned back to her sticker-covered Kindle and said, “Godspeed, soldier.”

[ponyosmom35]

going home

Simon ghost Riley x reader

Liability chapter fourteen!

summary: reader bids her friends goodbye as she readies herself to go home and deal with the aftermath of her sisters death. Having to say goodbye to Simon proved much harder than she ever imagined.

Liability masterlist:

https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/733401347573088256/simon-ghost-riley?source=share

Simon walks into the base and hands his weapon to one of the soliders who took care of it. He pauses as he spots a familiar redhead speaking to a group of medics. He wasn’t expecting to see her again, he figured that she woud’ve left by now. Part of him was thankful that he was given another chance to say goodbye, another part wished she’d gone. Each time they spoke it was harder to push her into the back of his mind. He lingers in the area for a few minutes before her eyes find him. She hugs the medics and moves over to him holding her suitcase and bag in her hands. 

“didn't expect to see you here, thought you were leaving” he comments 

“got delayed” she says softly 

He noitces the sadness in your eyes, and the pain that's eating away at her “how have you been holding up?”

“I'm doing my best to keep my shit together” she admits sadly ”if one more person tries to talk to me about her I think I might scream, anyways how was the mission, seemed like you were in and out”

“it was just a routine operation. Not too much action or anything special” he says taking her bags and setting them on the ground. 

“I'm glad that I caught you guys before leaving” she smiles

“thought you already said your goodbyes?”

“one more can't hurt right?”

“alright, then, get to it” he jokes

“I am gonna miss you Simon, who else is gonna tell me the dumbest fucking jokes all day?” she asks, causing him to laugh.

“and you're gonna miss my brilliant sense of humor” he says this in a sarcastic, yet playful tone. “you just love to hear me talk, don't ya?”

“I like your accent” she admits,  mocking his voice

“oh, really? well you wouldn't be the first to find it charming and irresistible” he brags

She laughs loudly, playing it off as a joke, though she knew it was true. “yet another thing I'm gonna miss, your massive ego”

“a massive ego?” he questions, not even bothering to deny it “I mean, it's the truth, innit?”

“hand to god it is the truth” she admits 

“You might be the only person who can make me laugh at myself”

“someone needs to knock you down a peg” she says hitting his arm 

He leans back against the wall and crosses his arms, while maintaining a playful tone of voice, “ah yes, that's right, you used to be a real brat back then, didn't ya? thought you knew everything, and could teach me a few things” he teases

“I'm a fountain of knowledge” she shrugs 

“a fountain of pride, more like it” he teases, watching as you laugh “and a fountain of attitude”

“You’ve got a lot of nerve, all that from the most arrogant and stubborn man I’ve ever met”

“just 'cause I'm the best at what I do, doesn't mean I'm arrogant or stubborn, does it?”

“I hate to break it to you but, you might just be the most-” she is cut off by Soap sprinting over to them. He hops over her luggage and wraps his arms around her, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around. Simon looks over to Soap and shakes his head, noticing his playful antics with her while slightly rolling my eyes, and grinning playfully to himself. 

“precious cargo suds!” she yells as she hits his back, trying to get him to set her down. Giggling at him. 

He continues to spin her, then sets her down on her feet. “ankle biter I thought you were leaving!”

“I'm leaving in ten, got delayed”

“Well that means we got time...for a game of hide and seek” He puts his hands over his face and starts counting.

“shut the fuck up, normally I wouldn't turn down an opportunity to hide from you but I'm gonna have to raincheck this time” she smiles sadly.

Soap drops his hands a sighs, placing a hand on her shoulder  “what am I gonna do here without you lass? who's gonna debate with me all day?”

“you'll just have to call me when you feel like getting verbally assaulted” she says making them laugh  “what I'm concerned about is nobody making sure you don't eat more than 12 tacos on taco Tuesday”

“12 is light work”

“you have to save some for everyone else!” she repremands, He starts rubbing the back of his head sheepishly and mumbles

“Yeah alright. I'll save some” He pauses for a moment and looks at her. his face is filled with worry. he then speaks in a more serious tone. “are you gonna be okay? should I be worried?”

“everyone keeps telling me I'll be okay eventually, I'm not sure right now. I think being with my parents is what's best right now”

“Yeah...Yeah. You'll be okay” He steps forward, and pulls her into into a hug. He holds her tight for a few seconds, and then let's go. The smile comes back to his face. “You're strong lass. One of the strongest out there. Trust me”

“thank you Johnny, I'm really gonna miss you”

“Take care of yourself alright? you know my number, you have any trouble or need anything at all, get in touch with me.”

“don't worry whenever I feel like fighting, you'll be getting a phone call”

“perfect”

“I've already got a list of stuff we're gonna discuss”

“A full list?!” he asks in shock

“ten topics and counting”

“God help me”

She leans up and kisses his cheek gently “ bye Johnny”

“Bye lass”

She spots Kyle walking through the base, he takes off his vest and she runs over to him. She wraps her arms around his shoulders. He holds her tightly and rubs her back. “Glad to see you haven’t left yet”

“Just saying my goodbyes” she admits as she pulls back

“I’m gonna miss you red”

“What are you guys gonna do without me?” she jokes

“Cry probably” 

“Me too” she laughs 

“When do you think you’ll be comin back?”

“I’m not sure” she responds 

“Take your time love, allow yourself to feel it”

“I’ll do my best” she nods 

“You’ve got my number yeah?”

“Yeah”

“I expect at least one call a week”

“How about two?” she smiles, he holds his heart

“How did I get so lucky?”

“Nobody knows” she smirks 

“Take it easy alright? Know that you’ve got people here who love you, anything you need you let us know”

“Thank you Kyle” she smiles as she hugs him once more 

“Miss you already kid” he murmurs 

“Save your tears for another day” she says pulling away as she sees Simon and Price waiting near her car. She walks up to them and Price sets his hand on her shoulder.

“Thank you for all of your work here, you’re presence here will be missed”

“Thank you sir”

“Take all of the time you need, and when you’re ready, you give me a call alright?” 

“I will”

“Don’t hesitate to reach out” he says before wrapping her in a quick hug. “I’ll leave you to it Simon”

She moves closer to him with tears in her eyes. He steps forward to meet her halfway, and embraces her tightly for a long, strong hug, letting her lean her head on his shoulder, as he comforts jer and rubs her back reassuringly, all while trying hard to hold back his own tears, and his voice shaking from all of the suppressed emotion, barely able to get out a few words.

 “It's alright…” he whispers in her ear “you remember what I said?”

“I remember”

“Good…” he pulls away and gently cups both sides of her face, making sure to look deeply into her eyes, noticing how red and swollen they are from all of the crying, and wiping away her tears with his thumbs. 

“don't be a stranger ghost” she whispers “make sure you don't forget about simon, he deserves a life too”

Simon nods, and opens the vehicle door for her. He looks at her once more before shutting it. He throws her luggage in the back and hits the tuck twice. He watches as they drive away. He does not move from his spot until the vehicle disappears from his view. There she goes, the only woman he’s ever loved. 

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery

warnings: swearing, Vietnam War, ableism

AN: I'm going to try to write post-war Dan. Please please please let me know if I do something wrong and how I can do this better. If I screw this up, LET ME KNOW. I want to do this right and can't do that unless someone lets me know I fucked up and what I can do better.

When I had gotten the letter that Dan was coming home, I had been ecstatic. They hadn't told me what happened to him or why he was getting a medical discharge. It honestly didn't matter that much to me since he had been preparing me to move on when I got the letter. The letter that was supposed to tell me he had been killed in action. Instead I got a letter that said he was wounded in action and would be at the evac hospital in Saigon before coming home. He had written me one letter, letting me know that he wasn't the same man who had gone off to war and if I wasn't there to meet him he would understand. As I scanned the men getting off the plane, I couldn't help but think how wrong he was.

"Yeah yeah yeah." I turned when I heard Dan's voice to see him waving off a flight attendant who was saluting him. "You can go now. Thanks."

"We're supposed to wait with you for whoever..." the attendant tried again.

“ain’t nobody coming for me. I’m fine on my own.” Dan cut them off. He angrily glared at the attendant until they left. That was when I realized he was in a wheelchair. Dan had reached down to wheel himself away when he looked up. I smiled at him and waved.

“hi Dan.” I said. He stared at me in shock.

“(Y/N).” He breathed out. Dan settled his hands in his lap as I walked over. I sat down next to him and reached over to take his hand. He pulled them out of my reach and I nodded. “You…you shouldn’t have come. I told you…”

“you weren’t the same man that had left. Yeah I know that.” I finished. “You also gave me a choice. You said if I wasn’t here you’d understand. But I am here. I’m not leaving you. You’re still Dan Taylor to me.” Dan frowned at me before slowly reaching over and taking my hand.

“The dumbass fucked with my destiny.” Dan muttered. He wouldn’t meet my eye and I frowned. “Private Gump. Long story.” He shook his head and squeezed my hand. “I am glad you’re here. I just…”

“yeah. I get it.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “But let’s get out of here yeah?” Dan nodded as he gave me a small smile. “Is it alright if I…?” I trailed off and motioned to the wheelchair. Dan sighed and nodded.

“Yeah.” He muttered. “I’ll figure it out eventually but go ahead. It’ll be faster anyway. Getting onto and off the plane…”

“if it’s going to piss me off, don’t.” I said. Dan looked at me over his shoulder as I started to push him through the airport.

“Huh.” He huffed and turned back around. “Anyway… I have physical therapy at the VA in a couple days. Would you…”

“I can drive you there if you want.” I said. “You’ll have to get me directions though. I didn’t even know there was one close by.”

“Neither did I.” Dan said. “I shouldn’t…” someone cut in front of us and turned to flip Dan off as he tripped. I flipped him back off at the same time Dan did. “Can’t you see I’m walking here?” Dan scoffed. “Asshole.”

“I swear people get worse and worse all the time.” I muttered, realizing this was going to become common place. I would be damned if Dan got used to it. “So this private Gump, why are you so pissed off at him?”

“you mean aside from saving my life?” Dan shot back. I gently pushed his head and he turned to look at me in surprise. “Alright. Alright. There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s a good kid. He was just going what his friend was telling him to do anyway. Run away.” Dan paused for a second. “And trying not to be separated from the other private he came in with. He kept going to back to find him and…” Dan hung his head. “Gump found everyone else and private blue last. He’s too good a person to leave anyone to die.”

“I’ll have to thank this private Gump.” I said. Leaning forward, I pressed a kiss to the top of Dan’s head. “He got you back to me.” Dan reached up and squeezed my hand.

“Maybe one day.” Dan assured me. “I already know you’ll get along with him. Probably too well.”

“You going to be alright outside while I go get the car?” I asked Dan as we grabbed his bag.

“yeah.” Dan said, pulling the bag into his lap. “You know me, I can give anyone a piece of my mind.” I nodded and got him situated by the entrance while I went to grab the car.

“I’ll be right back.” I promised and kissed his cheek. Dan cupped my cheek before smiling at me.

“thank you.” He whispered, drawing my lips to his. I hummed against his lips and pulled back. I smiled at him before running off to grab the car. When I pulled back up, Dan was screaming at a random guy who was standing awful close to him.

“what the fuck do you think you’re doing? Blocking the fucking door!” The guy yelled. Dan flipped him off.

“fuck you asshole!” Dan yelled back. “Not like I’ve got much space to move for your sorry ass.” I raised an eyebrow and got out of the car.

“then let someone move you! Instead of screaming at them!” Dan made as if he was going to lunge at the guy. He jumped back and dan started laughing.

“I’m a fucking vet fuckwad.” Dan growled. “If you or anyone else touches me or this car, then you have to fuck with me.” I stepped up and put a hand on dans shoulder.

“and me.” I added. The guy looked up at me.

“You gonna let him talk to me like that?” He asked. I nodded.

“yeah. I am. Like he said. He’s a veteran. Just got back in country.” I said with a shrug. “He has a right to stand up for himself. In fact he fought for that right. So I’m gonna let him do that.”

“stand up.” The guy laughed. “That’s rich.” My face fell and I looked at Dan. He motioned towards the guy with both hands.

“I’ve been dealing with this since you left.” He explained. I nodded.

“I mean I knew people were gonna be assholes but I mean…” I shook my head.

“Hey he’s the asshole. Vietnamese raping, baby killer. You deserve…” he didn’t finish his sentence when I hit him.

“shut your fucking mouth.” I hissed. “You have no idea what’s going on over there. So keep your fucking mouth shut.” The guy held his cheek and there was a cheer that went up. I blushed as I turned back towards Dan. “Uh…” I looked around and smiled nervously. “Wanna go before the cops show up?” Dan nodded with a laugh.

“yeah.” He said. “Let’s go you little spitfire.” I blushed deeper as I pushed him to the car and stood back while he got himself into the passenger seat. I folded up his chair and put it in the trunk before getting in and driving off.

[makemake22]

Heart To Heart

like, literally, duh

I saw many headcanon about this. And even some people who write this. So here we go.

body gore, Law heart was outside his body because of his devil fruit

Anyway, thanks for @nina-ya and all hc who makes some Law take out YN heart. But, we also need Law take his own heart out so we can tease it, yes?

It was late at night, you ask a question that has been on your mind to your boyfriend, aka Law. You always saw him take enemies heart off, how he clench their heart, bring out pain. You can't help but wondering...

"I am curious," You said, Law who was on his chair, reading his medical journal, tilt his head to the side.

"What does it feel like holding organ on your hand," You looked at your own palm, remembering and trying to imitate the feel of cube. A cube of heart on her hand.

Law on the other hand, didn't looks enthusiastic on the idea. His steel eyes still staring into the journal.

"Not so interesting," he said. You whine and rolled on his bed. Looking at your boyfriend upside down.

"Come on, Law, tell me," You pouted. "Does it feel weird? Does it something makes you jump or something? Or feel disgust by it?"

"YN..." He sighed and closed the journal. When you ask, if he didn't give an answer, or a satisfying answer, you're gonna keep asking even in the middle of chores. Law slam his hand into his face, you lucky he was your boyfriend. Because if you were Penguin or Shachi, Law would teleported them outside his room.

Law stand up, you looked at him with spark in your eyes. Will he finally answer?

"why not try it yourself?" He smirk. Before you could question it, he summon Room and on both of your palm, there was a cube.

"WAAAAA!" You throw it upward from surprise, Law face gone pale. But luckily after several attempt to throw it around, you manage to capture it.

"Urgh!" Law clench his chest, one of his knees drop to the ground. His eyes half lidded, almost glaring at you.

You gulped and looked at him with worry. You accidentally hold it a bit too hard. "S-sorry! I am holding it too hard," You immediately caressing the heart cube, giving shiver to the tattooed man.

You are confused when his heart suddenly beats quite fast. You looked at him. His hat overshadowed his eyes so you couldn't see him.

"Y-yeah, it's fine," Law said. He still clenches his chest just in case. Trying to not let his voice crack. He acts normal like usual. He stands up and pulls his chair. Law sit down and lean against the chair. The tanned man trying to calm down.

"Are you sure? Your heart---"

"I am fine, YN. Just, stop asking."

His word makes you quiet. Law slowly build his composure and his heart beat normally. You look at it and sigh, seem he really fine.

While you are at it, you trying to feel the heart. It's quite weird, holding your boyfriend heart like this. Slowly, your lips gone into a smile.

Trying to not think about him. You know how trust is sacred to him. It takes months for Law to reveal his past to you. That's also after Doflamingo was defeated.

He tells you about his sister, his parent and Corazon. You glad he opened up to you back then.

But this is another level.

You can't hurt him with that information. Sure, you can spill the information to Marine or someone else. But they're gone. Dead.

But this thing?

If this falls into the wrong hand, the life of Trafalgar law, Surgeon of Death aka Captain of The Heart is easy to end. If this fall into Doflamingo hand, he easily enslaved him.

Just like how Law sold 100 pirate hearts to Marine, he's gonna be a puppet to Marine if this fall to them. Something that Law despises, being a puppet.

Thump... Thump...

His heart beat again, you chuckled. This not gone unnoticed by him.

"What's so funny?" he glared but not to scare you.

"Nothing, it's just... just for sake answering my question, you took your own heart. Not mine,"

Law stunned. You also stunned at him. Does this mean that he does this out of instinct? He doesn't think two steps ahead?

Your boyfriend makes lots of surprises. In a good way.

"I glad you trust me, Law," you smirk. Your thumb now caressing his heart. It earn shiver from him. "I know i said that more than once, but i really glad you did."

Law didn't say anything. You know his ears red, judging by how he tilt his hat downward. Maybe his cheeks also gone red, you don't know.

His heart was in the cube. The cube are soft and jelly. And no, it doesn't make you hungry. You won't bite it anyway, it grosses you out. You might get dream about this if you did have a little bite---

"Don't. Even. Think. About. It."

You looked at him, glaring dangerously. Damn, he seem know what you were thinking to give that eyes.

"I don't think anything," you said as you chuckle. "Anyway, since you give me your trust, i suppose it's good to reward you,"

Before Law could say anything, you lean into the cube. Give a peck right on the middle of the heart.

Thump! Thump!

Damnit, why now... Law cursed under his breath as his heart beating faster at your gesture. His cheeks are heated and he can feel his ears also gone red.

He immediately look away and pulled his hat even lower. You notice the gesture and chuckle.

"Now, should i shower your heart with my kisses?"

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Post-Surgery Day 35 (but three days late)

cw: surgery, bodies, medical

- Good news! The wound separation in my nipple has healed closed and scarred up, and all the scabs are gone. I'm so, so frickin' happy and glad I kept my anxiety in check over it. There were so many times I wanted to pull the scab away and see the damage, or send a billion questions to the surgeon. But I trusted what the nurse told me to do, and it's fine.

- I've been a biiiit naughty with the reaching and the stretching and I've got a bit of a ache in my ribs, like, just beneath the incision? I think it's muscular in that I've obviously been hunched over and fairly stationary while I heal. I figure I'll be getting some physio and exercises after my appointment in a week. The incisions are fine and neat AF, I can't remember whether I mentioned that the part under my arms is already so faint? I thought I'd need to get some tattoos to camouflage it but I don't think I will.

- Still chonk. Sigh.

- I am exhausted after my first week (and a half) back at work. I've been relatively good and not lifting stuff too heavy, or reaching too high. My colleagues have been awesome, and I mean awesome. I've received so many hugs and big smiles; they genuinely missed me, which... I'm actually shocked? I didn't realise how much healing I still have to do in terms of self worth. The damage done by a handful of people a year or so ago has clearly impacted quite deep. But, anyways, people keep coming up to me to tell me their kid is trans or non-binary or gay, or they know someone who is, or their kid's partner is... They are so excited about it.

- I have had one encounter with someone I think has terfy leanings. It was an assessor from a training body we use for our trainee teachers. She kept using my deadname, even though her institution has been updated. Now, I need these teachers to pass so I bit my lip. My headteacher, however, a big Welsh dude, informed her that if she couldn't address his teachers with respect she could leave the premises. I was... shocked. So was she. I was named appropriately for the rest of the day, and when I thanked him later he just said that some people have no class, and ambled off to herd some kids. 🤣

- My driving license came through! That's the second government body that has acknowledged my new name and gender. My bank is sorted too. I'm going to sort out the mortgage (second bank, land registry), the vehicles (car and bike) and my passport. The passport I am worried about because I've reached that they can be picky about the GIC. We'll see.

- I am delivering a conference for the first time tomorrow as myself and I'm actually a little bit nervous? I don't think anything of talking to rooms full of 100s, usually. I'm an expert in my field and that's why I'm there. But. As me now? The person I've had to keep protected and quiet for years? Scary.

- Six more days until my final appointment with my surgeon. I hope I get good grades in healing so I can go back to the gym. :3

[the-light-finds-its-way]

So I'm thinking of my own self-insert fic and how I meet Misraaks. And yes it's cheesy and trope-y. But it's my universe and what I say goes.

Anyway, I'm a Titan, obviously, but I use a bunch of melee weapons since irl I can't aim for shit. So I imagine a more futuristic barbarian aesthetic since I always LARP as a barbarian, with myself carrying an axe in one hand, and Caiatl absolutely gave me a Centurion shield to use so there's that in my other hand.

Anyway, I'm on the battlefields with Misraaks because Hive have attacked and somehow he's caught up in the mix.

A bunch come, and one knight jams his blade through Misraaks, injuring him gravely.

I see this. I fucking go berserk. With fury and wrath I summon the Hammer of Sol, and charge the swarm with vengeance and rage, eliminating nearly all within moments.

The knight takes notice and approaches.

My hammer fades, and I grab my axe, jumping as I outright tackle the Hive to the ground and grapple him.

Misraaks watches, absolutely ASTOUNDED that this tiny ass Titan not even 5ft tall has somehow managed to subdue a humongous Hive knight.

An epic fight ensues between the knight and I, ultimately ending when I am flung off the dude and stop mid-air, soar from above, and drive my axe through his chest, ripping it out as I land on the ground, then use my shield to shatter the knight apart.

The field is clear, and I rush to Misraaks, gripping him close and gently.

Much to the Kell's surprise, I lift him in my arms and run him to my ship, then fly us to the Last City where I bring him to get help.

I'm walking through the Tower idly, worried sick.

Ikora sees me, and approaches. She says Misraaks told her what I did, and that I managed to intimidate him a bit with my prowess, apparently. But Ikora laughs a bit, and says she always knew I was fierce. That's just who I am.

There I absolutely panic. I didn't mean to scare him! I just freaked out and wanted him safe! This is just how I fight! I care about him, I had to get him help and fast and I couldn't do that without decimating the enemies, and—

Ikora stops me. She says it's ok. Misraaks is ok. And he is glad I saved him. She thinks he might've even taken some appreciation to my strength in battle. Maybe even in the same way I appreciate him...

How does she know I like him? I never said anything to anyone. How would she—

And Ikora tells me to just go. See Misraaks. He needs the company.

So, nervously, I head out to where Misraaks is. He's laying in a medical cot, wound wrapped, helmet off with just his rebreather on. I rush to his side.

Misraaks seemingly grins at the sight of me.

I sigh in relief at seeing him ok.

The Kell tells me he has not seen a ferocity as mine before, but that he's heard from others how I'm just like that. I defend, I protect, and I do so with my entire being because I love.

And Misraaks says it's ok. He knows.

I freeze. I'm literally stunned in silence.

But Misraaks lifts his arms closest to me, and pulls me against his chest. And with all four, he hugs me gently.

I just lay against him softly, carefully, listening to his heartbeat, and suddenly Misraaks moves his rebreather away, and leans down. He kisses my head.

"I love you, too," he tells me.

And I lean up, and return this kiss to him as he and I just hug and hold and love.

Days later, when Misraaks is recovered, I outright carry him out of the place, and when we make it to the Tower, Osiris sees us.

"So the lovebirds finally took flight," he says.

I frown at him.

How many people knew? How long have they known? HOW did they know I love him?!

"To be fair," Osiris says, "You've been learning Eliksni, and I don't know anyone who would go so far as you have to save a man as you did."

"Says the guy who broke time to save his husband," I tell him.

"Exactly. You're gay. I'm gay. It's all gay. Now go take your boyfriend on a date already. The whole City has been waiting long enough for you to."

I'm stunned.

The whole damn Last City knows???

I accidentally drop Misraaks in my surprise, then freak out! Is he ok?! I apologize so much!

But Misraaks stands up, laughing and hugs me close. "I am fine, Magnus. Stop worrying, please. Let's go have a pleasant lunch."

I blush. Hugging the Kell back, I nod. "Ok. Agreed. I uhhh... I know a good mac and cheese place if you want that."

And so we have our first date with mac and cheese as the meal, and both of us are happy.

[baronessblixen]

When It Rains

Year of the OTP June! The prompts I used are: sick fic – accidental love confession – downpour

Set in season 6, fluff with a hint of Diana angst. And a sick Mulder. Wc: 1,552

Tagging @today-in-fic

Dressed in an old t-shirt and sweatpants that are just the tiniest bit too big on her small frame, she elbows open her apartment door, a basket full of dirty laundry in her arms. In her hallway, she almost crashes into a soaking wet, swaying figure. Just as she’s about to berate him for loitering in front of her apartment, she realizes who exactly it is.

“Mulder?” she asks, setting down her basket.

“Oh hey,” he says as if surprised to see her here. In her hallway. In front of her apartment.

“You’re soaking wet,” she says, watching the puddle by his feet increase. He’s going to ruin the carpet. But there are more important things to focus on. “What happened to you?” Instead of an answer, he just sighs and shrugs. Looking more closely at him, she notices that his pupils are shot. Drunk. He has to be drunk. Right?

“It’s raining,” he says simply.

That’s the understatement of the year. They’re currently experiencing an exceptional downpour and according to meteorologists, the rain is not going to stop until the morning. One of the many reasons Scully decided to stay home this Saturday night. She’s still getting used to having weekends to herself. With the X-Files closed, more often than not, she finds herself with free time now. At least it gives her enough time to do her laundry.

“Come inside.”

“You were on your way out,” he says.

“I was just doing laundry,” she explains, trying to help him out of his leather jacket. It’s heavy with rain. “Let’s get you into the bathroom, Mulder. Take off your shoes.”

“Hm?” He’s just standing there, still swaying.

“Your shoes,” she says patiently. “Take them off.”

“Oh,” he says, staring down at his feet. “Right.”

“Were you out drinking?” It’s none of her business, she thinks. Except he came here, to her apartment. She has a right to know. The last time this happened, she found herself on a plane to Texas, and later out of a job. She shudders, remembering everything that came after. Her memory is still spotty in places. Another apartment, another hallway, and a bee. A kiss that never was. Then there’s a lot of icy darkness in her mind. Even now, months later, the frostbites sometimes nip at her when she least expects it.

“I’m not drunk,” he says, but his words are slurred.

“It’s okay, Mulder.” She tugs on his arms to get him to the bathroom, but he’s heavy, and he’s unwilling. He’s shaking his head so hard that she fears he’s going to crash into the wall.

“Not drunk,” he repeats. “I wasn’t feeling well,” he says. “I just- there were pills in the medicine cabinet. I took them. The first didn’t do anything, so I took something else.” Her alarm bells are ringing.

“What did you take?” she asks and he just shrugs.

“I thought it was Tylenol. Wait. I think the other was Benadryl. My throat was so itchy.”

“Mulder, you don’t have any allergies.”

“They make me sleepy,” he says and yawns as if to prove his point. “I take them sometimes. You said I shouldn’t take sleeping pills.” She cracks a small smile, glad that he listened to her for once.

“That’s good, Mulder. You said your throat is itchy?” He nods and as she looks closer at him, she realizes that he does look sick, not drunk. The area around his nose is pale, while his nose itself is red. She touches his cheeks and they’re warm to her touch. So is his forehead. “When did you start feeling sick?” And why didn’t you call me, she adds mentally.

“Yesterday,” he admits. “Thought I was just tired but,” he pauses and coughs. “I didn’t want to bother you. Now I’m coughing all over you, making you sick, too.”

“Mulder, if you were feeling sick yesterday it’s very likely you already infected me anyway.”

“You’re the medical doctor,” he says with a drowsy smile. He may not be drunk, but he’s definitely not sober either.

“I am,” she says with a soft smile. “That’s why you need to listen to me. We need to get you out of these wet clothes. Where’s your umbrella?”

“Didn’t bring one,” he says, letting Scully lead him toward the bathroom. “Wasn’t raining when I left. It started when I was at Diana’s.” Her fingers were just busy unbuttoning his shirt but now pause.

“Diana.” She repeats the name slowly, every letter bile on her tongue. Mulder, clueless to her emotional turmoil, nods and goes on.

“She kept hanging up on me,” he says. "I tried calling her. I didn't want to go over there."

“It’s okay, Mulder,” Scully says, distracting herself with undressing Mulder. Despite having worn a jacket, his shirt is so wet that she has to wring it out. “You don’t owe me an explanation.” But her mind is spinning. If he was at Diana’s, why is he here now? Why did he leave? Her thoughts are so out of control that she doesn’t notice Mulder tug at her t-shirt at first. He’s shirtless himself and his jeans are already unbuttoned. She’d prefer if he took his pants off himself, but he seems preoccupied with what’s happening in his head.

“I went to her apartment,” he says and Scully wishes she could just cover her ears and not hear what he has to say. No matter how childish that instinct may be. “I wanted her to listen to me. You always listen to me, Scully.” He says, touching her cheek. His skin is warm against hers and she has to stop herself from leaning into his touch.

“What did you want to tell her?” Scully asks in spite of herself.

“That she needs to stop. That she needs to listen. I’ve been trying to tell her, to explain it to her. About you.”

“About me?” Again, he nods. He breaks into a smile and she’s overwhelmed by the instinct to pinch his rosy cheeks. His hair, drying already, is sticking in every direction imaginable, making him look cuter than he should be.

“She doesn’t listen,” he repeats. “I keep trying to tell her that I- she wants things that I don’t want.” Her roaring heartbeat almost drowns out his voice.

“I went to her apartment to tell her that I love- that I love you.” Her eyes grow wide at his confession. He’s staring at her, calm as ever. “Can you believe she hung up on me?” She's not sure he realizes what he just admitted. What he confessed to her. He loves her. This isn’t the first time he’s saying it, of course. The last time wasn’t long ago. It was right after they saved him from the Bermuda Triangle. He’d been high on painkillers then, too. But she can’t deny that he’s said it twice now in about as many months.

“She said I was nuts.” He’s grinning from ear to ear now. As if Diana calling him crazy for loving Scully was the greatest compliment he could imagine. “Nothing I haven’t heard before. I stood my ground, Scully. Said I love you. Did you know that? I didn't mean to blurt it out just now, but... I love you. I needed Diana to know it, too. I needed her to understand it. You know what happened next?” She shakes her head gently, unsure whether she wants to know what he’s going to say next.

“She threw me out. Asked her for an umbrella and she slammed the door in my face.”

“I’m sorry, Mulder.”

“Is this what you always wear on weekends, Scully?” He touches the hem of her shirt and she blushes.

“Sometimes,” she says. “It’s my laundry outfit.”

“I like it. I like it a lot.”

“I think you’re delirious.”

“I think you might be right,” he admits, coughing again.

“Can you take off your jeans or do you need help?”

“I wouldn’t mind help,” he says with a grin, “but I can do it myself.”

“I’m going to get you something dry to wear,” she says, squeezing his shoulder. She uses the moment away from Mulder to take a deep breath and sort her thoughts. Tonight, she won’t contemplate what any of this means. But she knows she’ll have to hide a grin the next time she sees Diana Fowley.

When she returns to the bathroom, Mulder is naked. She averts her eyes, even though he doesn’t seem to mind. He helps her into the sweatpants and the t-shirt. When they’re done and Mulder is dressed, he smiles at her warmly.

“We're matching," he says proudly. He's right, too. "You’re not going to throw me out, are you?” he asks.

“If I did, I’d give you an umbrella.”

“Thank you, Scully.” His grin is accompanied by another cough, reminding her that it's very likely he'll feel worse in a couple of hours. She'll be there for him it that's the case. Just like she hopes he will be there for her when she catches whatever is ailing him.

He’s asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow. She watches him for a moment before she presses a kiss to his forehead. I love you, too, she thinks but doesn’t dare say. Not yet, anyway.

[nova-alien-rants]

sometimes it can be really fucking scary to achieve the things you've always wanted.

i think i need to put this out there not just for myself, but for anyone else who may be having a hard time coping with change in their lives, even if it's for the greater good.

this past wednesday was genuinely a really hard day for me. like, really really fucking hard. one of my best and oldest friend bailed on me along with her entire family which i considered to be my own, my parents acted disgusting toward my brother and tried pulling the same shit on me, i came back to my dorm after 40 minutes of driving to discover someone came into my room and touched my shit, and then had some stupid freshman act like a brat when i brought it up to the RAs. i haven't felt as low in a LONG time as i did by the end of that day.

but while i was driving back to campus, feeling completely alone and like i had no one to talk to, my grandparents ended up calling just to chat. i was crying so hard that i couldn't stop myself and spilled everything that had happened to me that day, and to my surprise, they were... really nice. they comforted me and even offered for me to move in with them once they get settled in their new house. i told them i felt really worried about how my parents would take the news of me moving, but my grandma said not to worry about that and she'll take care of it. for once i'm actually glad the people in this family are crazy.

all i've ever dreamed about for as long as i can remember is getting away from my parents. no longer living with them, no longer being controlled by them, no longer being physically and mentally broken down by them. my life goal has been to break free from my parents permanently. not a career, not material possessions, none of those things can ever come close to that goal. but now that it's happening, i'm filled with a kind of fear i've never experienced. there's so much uncertainty about literally everything in my life now.

will this thing with my grandparents' house even work out? how will my parents react to it? how am i going to manage to move all my shit into my grandparents' house even if i am able to stay there? what will happen when next semester starts? if i move in with my grandparents, my parents will cut me off financially and i won't have any help paying for my university tuition and/or housing. how will i finish my degree? how will i be able to afford going to graduate school? how will i pay for my medical bills?

i know in time all of these questions will become trivial, and i'll be able to look back eventually and be able to laugh about the fact that i was ever worried. the universe always works in my favor, even if i can't see it at the time. things always seem to have a funny way of working out but it's scary in the moment to not know what's going to happen. i'm a person who desperately craves stability and concrete plans in order to function, so all this uncertainty is... a lot to deal with.

but i think all this is happening so i can shed my old life and start another chapter in which i can finally heal for good and stay that way. even if our old lives suck, we can get used to them anyway and changing them can be absolutely terrifying. i think that's why leaving one's comfort zone can feel so hard. we don't know what to expect, so how are we supposed to protect ourselves in the event that something goes wrong? but i've come to believe that things don't go wrong, they simply don't go the way we expected them to. and that's scary, but it's also okay to sit with that fear. everything happens for a reason.

i'm not one of those people who will say to just "be happy" under circumstances such as these, even when your feelings may seem irrational and/or confusing to you. we're human, we're not fucking robots. we can't go through life stone-faced. change is hard. it's scary. it's overwhelming and full of so many questions no one may ever have the answers for. it's okay to take some time to cry, to scream, to get those feelings out. our brains are trying to keep us safe, and it's our job to let our brains express themselves. not every feeling has to be rationalized. it doesn't all have to make sense. sometimes it's okay to Just Be.

i personally believe that the world would be a much better place if we all took more time for ourselves to really feel our shit, because that's the only way it's going to get processed and let go. if you're someone like me whose BPD makes every feeling seem like a nightmare straight from hell, or whose alexithymia confuses you about what you're even feeling, that's okay too. again, you don't have to have all the answers. let yourself cry. let yourself lie on the floor. let yourself engage in your comfort activities. let yourself rest.

change isn't supposed to be all sunshine and rainbows. it's hard work, but it will all be worth it in the end. after every single one of my darkest times, i found myself shining brighter than i ever did previously. i don't know why we have to go through certain experiences, but it will all make sense one day. every single person on this earth has trauma, even if they may not have been abused or deal with a form of a post traumatic disorder. we're all just oversized children who are scared and need a hand to hold as they navigate life. we're human, and we're allowed to feel. we're going to get through this.

there's a reason why people say bravery is being scared while doing it anyway. change really is fucking scary, regardless of how good it may be for us. i'm going to keep saying it. hold your breath and do the thing anyway. let yourself be scared. feel that fear. make room for it and live with it. your brain loves you and is trying to protect you, even if it seems misguided. it's doing its best to be there for you, so you may as well at least humor it, right? how beautiful is it that your brain loves you enough to constantly try and protect you, regardless of the circumstance? i think it deserves love back. love those parts of you which have always loved you.

you're going to make it. you love you.

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: Pregnancy, babies, addiction, trauma

I went to my Doc to get my pill prescription and I also told him I was pregnant. I got good news. I can actually keep my Baby. There are no serious health consequences/probs for my little one.

Nevertheless, it may be that my Baby will go through withdrawal the first days after delivery. 🙁😥 But he explained to me and assured me, that this is not as serious as it may sound. In my situation, it was ok! I was stable and my medication just right. If my Baby gets a withdrawal, it’s just gonna be an easy one. A... mild withdrawal, that's how he called it.

He said it's important that I do not have or get withdrawal symptoms now, during pregnancy!! Because this can harm my Baby!! He even said that it might be necessary to increase my dose during pregnancy to avoid withdrawal. As long as the baby is inside me (unborn), the doctors can’t help him or her. But after delivery, if necessary, withdrawal in newborns can be easily treated without the babies becoming seriously ill or suffering from consequential damage. Therefore, it's important that I am closely monitored during pregnancy, by doctors who are familiar with "neonatal abstinence syndrome". He referred me to a special clinic, where drug addicted pregnant women are treated. What I will experience there, I will tell soon.

Anyway, this news and information has totally unsettled me. Especially that neonatal abstinence syndrome. That's about severe withdrawal in newborns. Babies who go through this have to be treated in the intensive care unit and get morphine. 😭😟😞 It’s pretty serious. I really panicked when I googled it!

After I went to the doctor, I was on my way to my grandparents, my Grams called me. She wanted to talk to me. It was already very dark so I felt somehow uncomfortable. I never had a problem walking through the city at night! On the contrary! I always enjoyed it. But I made a mistake! First, I was totally upset about all this baby news. Second, I walked past a dark alley, that looked exactly like the street where Daniel and I were attacked a few months ago. There was no one around, I felt totally alone and abandoned.

I took my phone. I wanted to call my grandma so that she or my grandpa could come down and pick me up from there, because I realized, I couldn’t move! I was frozen with fear! I saw Daniel lying dead on the street. All the cruel pictures that haunted me for months of Daniel lying there dead, came up again. I just stood there looking into the dark void.... Suddenly I heard a voice. "Hello?" .... Ha?" ... "A.!" Can you hear me?"... "HELLO!" It was my Grams, she took off her phone.

I asked her to pick me up from this place. My grandma told me Nico was with her! 😲 Ha? What?... Nico was at my parents first. He was looking for me, because I didn’t want to talk to him. I was still pissed about Stephanie!! However, Nico talked to my Dad today! 😥... My Mom told Nico, that I was planning to stay with my grandparents. I also had an argument with my Mom & Dad. Well, N. knew where my Grams lives, so he went to them to see me. Besides, Nico never had any trouble with my grandparents, which is why he’s glad I was there. They were the only ones in my family who liked him.🤷‍♀️But is that still the case??? They also loved Daniel, just like my Mom & Dad. So, let's see.

Previous/ Next

[lendmyboyfriendahand]

FInwe in the third age part ii

Over the next few days, the injured elf woke only briefly, saying confused phrases, or moaning in pain. Elrond considered whether it would promote peace in the valley if the only one present in the room who spoke no Quenya, so they could spread no rumors. But that would further distress the patient, and Elrond did not want him - whoever he was - to be upset, or to be tempted to go out and find answers. So there was always someone in the room who spoke Quenya, a nurse or a child of the Exile or a member of Elrond's family, with instructions to alert Elrond immediately if the patient was able to converse. (And to tell no one what they overheard, "for the sake of the stranger's privacy.")

It was nearly a week before Elrond was able to test his suspicions with anyway other than Glorfindel's sketches. Elladan had rushed to his study with the news that the patient was awake and impatient to know what was going on.

"Good afternoon, I'm glad to see you're feeling recovered. I am Elrond Peredhel, lord and chief healer of Rivendell."

"Yes, your son mentioned. I'm sorry, you seem familiar somehow but I can't think of any hall called Rivendell in Aman."

"I am not surprised you haven't, it's a long way from Tirion and we have not met before. I know you just survived a very stressful situation, but I have to ask you some questions to make sure you're oriented before I can explain."

"Even before you can tell me if anyone else survived the attack? The one in here earlier said it's been days, is there no word of my grandsons?" The patient began to push himself out of the bed as he said this.

Elrond pushed down on his shoulder, the weight too much for the injured elf to lift. (It's not treason to give your king medical care, and it's not like I ever pledged him my service. Elrond reminded himself. It feels like blasphemy, but when has that stopped me?) "Do NOT try to stand or sit! Your belly was torn open, and any further movement could tear it again. And as for your question, I could answer it better if I knew who you were."

"I'm Finwe! King of the Noldor and lord of Tirion - though currently Nolofinwe is ruling it. How do you not know that? Even the few Noldor I haven't spoken with should have seen me at festivals."

Elrond ignored the question. "It's good that you recall that. You were the only member of your family injured in the attack. Now, can you talk me through what you remember happening?"

Finwe sighed in relief. "That's good. I remember there was darkness. But deeper than I'd seen anywhere in Valinor, even in caves. Deeper even than a cloudy night in the forest beside Cuivienen. It was terrifying, and strange, and impossible. I told Maitimo to find his brothers and run, but something was coming. I stayed to fight it off, or at least buy time."

"That was very brave."

"What else could I have done? The attacker - surely you must know, your son didn't seem surprised when I told him to warn everyone - it was Melkor. The Dark Hunter has returned to his evil ways. He kept asking where Feanor was, and the Silmarils. I would not help him, but I have not fought since I hunted my meals underneath the stars. Melkor is a Vala, with all their might, and he overpowered me. The last thing I recall is seeing him walk away into the house. And then waking up here, among strangers."

Elrond nodded. "Thank you. Now, what I'm about to say will likely seem very shocking, but I must recommend as a healer that you do not make abrupt movements. Your body is still weak, far more so than your soul is accustomed to."

"What news could be that shocking, after being attacked in my home?"

"You are not in Valinor anymore, but instead are in Middle Earth. You can see for yourself out the window, that the stars are far clearer than they would be under the Trees."

"How did I get here? It must have taken months - did Melkor have me captive?"

"I have no more idea how you got here than you do; my people found you dying and half drowned on the banks of the river. You have been unconscious for nearly a week, and in that time we have seen no trace of anything that brought you here, nor any tracks leading from the site."

"But - if it's been a week, how has news reached you from Valinor? Even if Feanaro followed his plan to return to these lands, it would take months to sail."

"That is the second piece of shocking news, and the hopefully the last one of such magnitude. It has been over seven hundred years since Morgoth attacked Formenos, by the count in Valinor under the Trees. You were believed to be dead."

"That's impossible."

"And yet, it happened."

"Am I supposed to just take you at your word on this?"

"I do not give my word lightly, but I shall if you request it and will refrain from straining yourself trying to investigate shadows that aren't there."

"Do so, if you are not a servant of Melkor."

"I swear by Varda and by Ulmo that I have not lied to you, and that I wish for you to recover from your injuries. There is much I have not told you yet, as the tale of three Ages is long indeed, but I will tell you in time."

Finwe still lay there glaring at Elrond, but he made no move to get out his bed. "And how much time will it take before you tell me of my family?"

"There is little I can say for certain about how they are, as we do not have frequent news from Valinor. Artanis dwells on these shores, and rules Lothlorien with her husband. I married their daughter Celebrian, and so my sons and I are your family as well, but no one else is in Middle Earth."

"I am surprised Feanor did not come here, even after so long as you say it has been."

"He did, to avenge your death as much as to find a land where he could be free, but Melkor killed him as well."

"How convenient that all the people I would recognize are far away."

"No, it's not, as if you worry less you will heal faster. I suppose there is one. Do you know Glorfindel of - of the Golden Flower?" of Gondolin would mean nothing to Finwe.

"I think Turgon has a friend named that, have they started coming up with fancy titles when out on the town?"

"You could say that. He is the captain of Rivendell's guard, but could be spared from his duties long enough to speak with you."

"Fine, send him in."

[hispipsqueak]

Training Camp

Tsukishima x F!Reader - fluff

TW: college au, drinking mention, mild cursing, jealousy, pretty fluffy. There is one mention of reader having long hair.

A/N: wake up besties, Pip posted. I’ve been writing this off and on for like months just as a comfort fluff piece but I decided to finaly share it after some sweet feedback. I hope you like it. It’s v self-indulgent bc i am a SIMP. 

Everyone is 18+

Hinata was yelling.

Tsukishima rubbed his temple. It was 6 AM and the team was on their way to an intercollegiate training camp. He was not excited. The cold bus was a stark contrast to the soft warm bed he left too early this morning.

The training camp was going to gather a few different schools so he was going to see his friends, Bokuto and Kuroo. He was hoping to work on a few more blocks with them, to improve his playing. However, having to deal with HInata and Nishinoya on the bus was testing his patience.

"Screaming isn't going to make you any taller, idiot." He hissed at Hinata. Hinata made a face and was about to shout back until he was interrupted by Ukai.

"We are pulling into the camp. I expect you guys to be on your best behavior as you're representing Karasuno University." He parked the bus and the guys started loading out their bags. Everyone was buzzing, excited to see their friends and test out new skills. Tsukishima pulled his headphones around his ears and started moving his bags to the team dorms.

"OI TSUKKI!" A boisterous voice shouted from behind him. He was immediately enveloped in a hug that lifted his tall frame off the ground.

"Bokuto...it's like 7 AM." Akaashi muttered, wiping sleep from his eyes. He nodded at Tsukishima who was grateful toward the dark-haired man for getting the giant owl to let him go.

"Tsukishima! Aren't you glad to see us?" Another cocky voice came from the corner. Kuroo sauntered in before clapping him on the shoulder. Tsukishima rolled his eyes.

"I feel like I see enough of you two, especially since you added me to a groupchat that you won't let me leave."

"To be fair, they won't let us leave either." Kenma muttered from behind his Switch. Akaashi chuckled in agreement.

"Anyway, Karasuno better be prepared because the practice matches are gonna go HARD!" Kuroo said laughing. Kenma rolled his eyes and they headed back to the Nekoma dorms. Bokuto's laugh echoed in the hallway and Tsukishima was just grateful the actual practice wasn't starting for another two hours so he could nap.

"Welcome all to the intercollegiate training camp for 2020! We are glad to have you all here!" The man running the camp said. He was an older athletic coach and was going to assist with match setup and drills, though individual matches and team practices would be run by each respective coach.

"Sorry I'm late, I got stuck in traffic!" You said running into the gym, tossing your bag on the nearest bench.

"Ah! Glad to see you –" The older coach started before the yelling commenced.

"Y/N!!!" Bokuto shouted, running and spinning you around. Kuroo ran up as well and gave you a tight squeeze.

"GUYS STOP HOGGING HER!" Noya shouted before running up to squeeze a hug in as well.

It seemed all the older boys knew who you were, though Tsukishima had never seen you before. A few other guys shouted greetings and waved, from each team. You smiled and Tsukishima felt his body grow tingly. He rolled his neck and focused on the older coach, who began speaking again.

"As many of you know, this is Y/N. She's our resident medic and will be taking care of anything you guys need. Y/N, a few words?"

You grinned. "Hello guys! I'm glad to be back here. As Coach Sato said, I am Y/N, your medic. Please meet with me before you leave today to get my contact info in case anything occurs after hours and you need assistance. I'm in the Medic dorm, so feel free to come see me whenever!"

You bowed slightly and waved before turning back to the older man.

Tsukishima wasn't sure why he felt restless all of a sudden but he pushed it out of his mind as the coach discussed the agenda for the day.

----

Day one was grueling. The drills were tough and since everyone had vastly improved, everyone had to work harder to top each other. Tsukishima saw you a couple of times, discussing things with Coach Ukai and Coach Sato. You were always smiling, and it seemed everyone was drawn to you. You complimented Daichi on his receives, laughed with Tanaka and Noya, and even got Kageyama to crack a smile. You were walking towards where Tsukishima stood when a guy from another team skidded across the floor, 

You jogged over to pull him up and check him over. Tsukishima couldn’t help but feel a pang of something...wash over him. Why was he so...aware of everything you did? You were just some girl whom he didn’t even know. Yet, like everyone else at the camp, he was drawn to you for some reason. He had to snap out of it. He put all his effort into playing for the rest of the session and even Daichi complimented his newfound energy.

They were wrapping up for the day and Tsukishima headed to the bench to grab some water when he felt a soft voice calling his name. He turned around and you grinned at him.

“You’re...Tsukishima Kei right? I’m Y/N! Sorry to bug you, I just wanted to give you my number.”

Tsukishima gulped, swallowing too much water. His face reddened as he tried not to spit up water all over you. You laughed, the sound pouring over his heart like warm honey, and patted him on the shoulder.

“Sorry! That sounded weird. It’s just in case something happens I can rush over if you need medical assistance. Sometimes you’ll get hurt in practice and walk it off only for the pain to worsen late at night or something. So don’t be afraid to text me any time of day, if needed.”

He nodded and handed you his phone. You input your number and smiled before heading over to speak with the coaches again. He looked at his phone.

Y/N 🚑 😉

Fuck.

----

“Tsukki!” Bokuto’s booming voice echoed across the hall. Tsukishima looked up from his book.

“Kuroo, Akaashi, Kenma, and I are gonna work on some blocks later. You should join us!” 

Tsukishima looked back down at his book. He was exhausted and about to tell Bokuto no until Kuroo walked into the room.

“Bo, I reserved the back gym and Y/N agreed to stay with us for practice tonight.” He said, tossing a volleyball in the air. “Tsukishima, you joining? Or are you too tired? I know you crows are weak.”

“Shut up, stupid cat. I’m fine and I need to practice some blocking anyway.” Tsukishima said a little too quickly.

Kuroo cocked an eyebrow. “You...you of all people are agreeing to extra practice? We have to drag you to spend time with us and now you are so...eager? Interesting…”

Kenma, who was behind him smashing buttons on his Switch, smirked without looking up from his screen.

“Probably because of Y/N.”

Kuroo let out his classic hyena cackle, eyes wide.

“NO! You have a thing for Y/N?” He asked incredulously.

Bokuto’s jaw dropped. “TSUKKI YOU LOVE Y/N?!”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, trying to hide the blush creeping up his ears. 

“No I don’t LOVE Y/N. I don’t even know her.” Tsukishima said, trying to remain casual.

“You wouldn’t stop staring at her the entire day. Every time she was on your side of the court, you slammed on the ball like some final boss. Also, you choked on your water when she talked to you.” Kenma said, still engrossed in his game.

Tsukishima glared at him. Kenma ignored him, unfazed. 

Kuroo grinned wickedly.

“So, we have a new plan. Get Tsukishima to confess to Y/N.”

Bokuto clapped. ‘YEAH! Tsukki, you gotta tell her how you feel.”

Tsukishima turned back to his book. “I don’t FEEL anything. I don’t even know her. I’ll see you guys tonight. To practice, not for some ridiculous love story.”

Kuroo and Bokuto shared a conspiratorial look.

Operation: Tsukki and Y/N was a go.

----

“Y/N! Fancy to see you here!” Bokuto said grinning mischievously. You furrowed your brow.

“Did Kuroo not tell you I was going to join you guys tonight?” You turned toward the raven-haired boy, who glared at Bokuto.

“Yes, Bokuto just doesn’t listen. Anyway, we are just waiting for one more...there you are!” Kuroo threw a megawatt smile to someone behind you. You spun around to come face to chest with Tsukishima. His gaze narrowed as he looked down at you. You gave a small smile and cautiously stepped back.

“Oh! Tsukishima. I didn’t realize you’d be joining! Great, because I don’t know if I can handle these four by themselves.” You smiled, gesturing to Kuroo, Kenma, Bokuto, and Akaashi. 

Kuroo tossed a volleyball up in the air. “Now that we are all here, let’s practice.” You took this as your cue, to head to the sidelines and finish up work for the day. Once you were safely out of earshot, Kuroo leaned in towards Tsukishima.

“‘This is your chance. Show her how good you play. We’ll even go easy on you!”

Tsukishima shook his head.

“I’m not here for some girl. I’m here to get better and improve. Play me to win or don’t play.” His honey-tinted eyes held a fire behind them that Kuroo had never seen before. He shrugged and the boys split up on either side of the net to start practicing.

You watched them from the sidelines, while filling out your reports for the day. You knew most of the guys from previous training camps. Tsukishima, being a first year, hadn’t met you until today and you didn’t get a whole lot of time to interact with him throughout practice so you could tell he still hadn’t warmed up to you just yet.

You watched as the guys jumped, and methodically blocked the ball from scoring on their respective sides. It was amazing to see really, especially because you knew these guys outside of the court. Akaashi, who was one of the sweetest people you knew, was slamming the ball over the net like a man in war. Bokuto, who normally was all over the place, was hyper focused on preventing the ball from passing the wall of him and Tsukishima. Even Kenma, who normally showed very little passion outwardly, did an impressive dig to stop the ball from hitting the floor.

You tried to gauge some sort of personality from Tsukishima. He was methodical, calculating every move from each member and putting himself in a way that forced his opponents to do what he wanted. His demeanor changed from apathetic to focused and driven and for a first year, he had a lot of skill. You hadn’t had a chance to really gauge who he was outside of a first impression so you made a mental note to focus more on him in the coming week.

Your phone buzzed, pulling you away from the practice.

Yūji : hey bbygirll ;P

You rolled your eyes. Terushima was always overly flirtatious, though harmless.

Y/N: Hey Yuuji, what’s up?

Yūji : throwing a party ths wknd N u better goooo ;)

Y/N: mmm...maybe. Who’s all going to be there?

Yūji : literally evry1. Tendou n Ushiwaka, Oikawa  (🤢) and those guys from Seijoh, some guys from inarizaki, maybe some from ur training camp thing, and YOU

Y/N: FINE. But I might bring backup since last time I had to take care of your drunk ass.

Yūji : :D can’t wait to see you

“Y/N!” 

You looked up. The guys had finished their practice and were staring at you. 

“Sorry, Terushima was talking about some party this weekend. You guys going?”

Kuroo nodded, “Thought about dragging Kenma to it. You going?”

You shrugged. “Maybe. I’ll go if you guys go, because I don’t wanna have to deal with that mess alone again.”

Bokuto laughed. “We should go together then. It will be a good way to end this week.”

He looked at Tsukishima. 

“You have to go with us Tsukki!”

Tsukishima shook his head. “No way. A party with loud, obnoxious drunk people? I’m fine, thanks.”

You giggled. 

“Come on Tsukishima! It’ll be nice to blow off steam from this week, plus I’d kill to see you at a party.”

Tsukishima looked over at you, his expression unreadable.

“Fine.” 

-----

The rest of the week was tough but fun. You got to see all the boys improve, and you even managed to get Tsukishima to crack a smile a few times. You couldn’t deny that you were showing a slight favoritism toward the tall blonde. You told yourself it was because he was so difficult to reach, but you couldn’t help but seek him out in each practice.

Turns out you didn’t have to look far today.

“Medic!” Coach Ukai shouted. You looked up from your clipboard and saw a group of boys crowded in the Karasuno area. You jogged over there and the boys cleared.

Tsukishima was standing in the center of the circle, clutching his hand. You could see it was red, swollen, and bleeding. You pulled on gloves, and started inspecting it, gently squeezing and prodding to see where the pain was at.

You pushed on his knuckle and he let out a low groan. 

“Ouch. It looks like you may have dislocated this. Come with me back to the medic bay, and I’ll patch you up.” You led him by the elbow to your office. He remained silent but you could hear his breathing had become heavy.

You motioned for him to sit in the chair as you started pulling out different creams and aids to ease the bleeding first. 

He hissed as you applied pressure to his finger.

“Sorry, Tsukishima. It’s just to stop the bleeding so we can start working on your knuckle. This is going to sting okay? So keep your eyes on mine.”

Your voice was soothing and he felt his heart slow down as you started pulling out some sort of tonic. You looked up at him and he tried to focus on anything else but the blush creeping on his face. You smiled at him and then…

“FUCK!”

The tonic you sneakily applied on his wound BURNED. You held his hand firmly, while avoiding the injured area.

“Don’t move too much or you could hurt yourself worse.” You said while wrapping a small bandage around his finger.

Your hands felt so delicate in his. He almost forgave you for the stinging. Almost.

“Okay, let’s look at the swelling. Can you move it at all?”

He tried and his finger gave a pathetic twitch.

“Okay, so that’s not broken. I think we’ll just splint it up, but you may want to follow up with your doctor if it becomes more of an issue after a couple of days.”

“Can I still play?” He asked. 

“Definitely not today, but you should be good to go by next week. Unfortunately, you’ll be out for the rest of this week.” You gave him a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry.”

He exhaled slowly and nodded, though you could tell he was disappointed, which surprised you a little. You busied yourself putting away your tools and pulling out the wraps. “So you really like volleyball huh? Wait…sorry, of course you do. Just…I didn’t peg you for being so passionate.” Face burning, you turned around digging in a cabinet.

“I’m not like Bokuto or Hinata, if that’s what you mean.” His voice was quiet and you snuck a glance back at him. He was staring at his finger. You waited for him to continue but he stayed silent.

Grabbing the supplies you needed you sat in front of him and pulled your tray next to you. “Yeah those two can be a little…enthusiastic.” You laughed and reached for his hand. He hesitated a moment and you grinned. “No more tonics, I promise.”

His hand dwarfed yours and he felt his mouth go dry as you delicately ran bandages over the injury. Why did he suddenly become hyper aware of how close your knee was to his? He looked away, blood rushing in his ears. He suddenly realized it had gotten silent and you were looking at him. Fuck. “Uh, sorry.”

You smiled, that smile that made his hands tingle with electricity. “I was just asking if you were excited about the party this weekend.” 

Fuck, The party.

“I know, it can be a lot. But I’m glad you’re going. I’m excited to see you in party mode.” You winked and he felt his heart stop for a second. “Anyway, you’re all done.” You let go of his hand and he tried to push away the emptiness it felt now. “I’ll let Coach Ukai know and I’ll see you this weekend.”

—-

“Hey Tsukki…how was your chat?” Kuroo sidled up to Tsukishima who was sipping water on the bench. Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “What are you talking about?”

Bokuto slid on the opposite side, sandwiching Tsukishima in the middle. “So did you tell Y/N you love her?” 

Tsukishima glared at him. "No. And I don't love her. She just bandaged my finger."

"Oooh romantic. You guys were in there for a while." Kuroo said, winking. Tsukishima forced himself not to look in your direction, instead focusing intently on his water bottle. 

A whistle blew and the guys headed to their respective teams. Tsukishima allowed his gaze to wander over to you. You were looking at your phone, a small smile on your face. You must have felt his gaze because you looked up, meeting his eyes. You shot him a small grin, before you were distracted by Lev tripping on a mat. 

Tsukishima looked back down at the bandage wrapped neatly around his finger.

"Fuck."

—-

"Okay boys. We gotta make sure Tsukki looks good." Kuroo declared, dragging Kenma, Bokuto, and Akaashi behind him. 

Tsukishima looked up from his book. "What are you talking about?"

"The party tonight. You have to dress to impress. You want Y/N to fall for you, don't you?" Bokuto said, rummaging through the closet. Kuroo looked Tsukishima up and down. "Is that what you're wearing?"

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. "Yes. I don't need fashion advice from a rooster and an owl, thanks." He didn't mention that he had gone through three different shirts before settling on the current one he was wearing.

"He looks fine. We better get going anyway." Akaashi said, looking at his phone. Kuroo looked at Tsukishima smugly.

"Don't worry. She's meeting us there. So we can pep talk you on the way."

Tsukishima grabbed his jacket. "You are delusional. There's nothing between us." He turned away, trying to ignore the buzzing in his stomach. The guys headed to Bokuto's car, piling in as Bokuto drove to the party. 

—-

Bass boomed from the house and people were strewn everywhere. Tsukishima saw a few people he recognized as he walked in. Oikawa and his cronies laughing in the corner, the Miya twins dominating the beer pong table. Kuroo led them to Terushima, who was doing a shot of an amber liquid.

"Yo, where's Y/N?" Kuroo asked. Terushima made a face as the liquid went down, before pointing to the staircase. Tsukishima turned.

You looked incredible. Your hair was down from its usual ponytail, and it spilled down your back in long waves. You wore a tight shirt and jeans that hugged all of your curves and had that gorgeous smile on your face. You were standing next to Ushijima, listening intently to him discuss something before you nodded, replying back with something that made the large man smile. 

"Oi Y/N!!" Bokuto yelled, and you turned, blinking at the interruption. You excused yourself from Ushijima and walked to where the guys were standing. 

"Hey guys! Glad you finally made it-" You started before Osamu Miya tapped you on the shoulder. You turned around and he gave you a tight hug. "Hey come be my partner for this. `Tsumu got Suna and he's scary good." You nodded before waving a quick goodbye to the guys and followed Osamu to the beer pong table. 

"Don't worry Tsukki, she's just really popular. We need drinks." Bokuto said, dragging Tsukishima to the cooler in the kitchen. Tsukishima narrowed his eyes. "I'm not worried. I didn't come here for some girl."

Bokuto fished two beers out of the cooler, handing Tsukishima one. "Exactly. Play it cool. Girls love that." 

A cheer came from the beer pong table and Tsukishima glimpsed Osamu carrying you in a celebratory hug. 

"Tch."

Kuroo sidled up next to him. "Miya's been desperate forever. She won't give him a chance. In other news, Oikawa brought his fan club with him." He rolled his eyes, gesturing to the gaggle of girls that were whispering next to the pack of Seijoh boys. They were all young, way too young to be at this college party and definitely overdressed. Oikawa and his crew barely gave them a second look, choosing instead to laugh amongst themselves.

The tall one, Mattsukawa, Tsukishima thought his name was, turned to Oikawa and whispered something before stalking toward the table.

As Tsukishima watched, he headed toward you. He saw a glimpse pass between Osamu and him before Matsukawa approached you. You listened, before nodding and laughing, turning to say something to Osamu and walking back to Oikawa's group. Oikawa's fans shot daggers at you, as you hugged Oikawa and talked animatedly with the group. Tsukishima frowned into his drink. You were friendly with everybody. He didn't know why he had let Kuroo get into his head.

The room felt hot and he slipped out the back door. The cool night air was refreshing on his skin. The house was near a dock, which was probably not the safest for drunk people, but it was quiet. Tsukishima walked along the wooden planks, the party sounds dying down as he moved further away.

The moon was bright, reflected on the water. He remembered an old story his mom used to tell him, something about a kingdom on the moon. He sipped his drink. 

"There you are."

He turned around. You walked towards him and sat next to him at the edge of the dock. He became very aware of how alone you both were out here.

"I was looking for you. Guess parties aren't really your thing, huh?" You laughed, pulling a bottle of water out and taking a sip.

He shook his head. "People aren't really my thing." He cringed internally. Why did he sound so pretentious?

"I definitely understand that." You nodded, looking out towards the water.

He blinked. "You seem pretty popular." 

As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt his ears burn. Now you would think he was some crazy stalker, watching your every move. 

Surprisingly, you didn't seem fazed.

"I know a lot of people. It comes with the territory. But, sometimes I feel like…I don't know. None of them really know me? Ugh that sounds cliche, I know." You groaned. 

He laughed, in spite of himself. "That does sound cliche." 

You laughed. "Tsukishima! You're supposed to pretend I said something profound, not agree with me!"

Tsukishima shrugged, biting back a smile. He liked the way his name sounded on your tongue. You said it almost like a song, Tsukishima. 

You scooted closer to him on the dock. "But cliches are cliches for a reason, right? There's some truth to them, I think." Your arms wrapped tightly around yourself and you shivered. 

Tsukishima unzipped his jacket and draped it over you. "Here. Aren't medics supposed to be prepared for anything?"

You smiled, grateful for the warmth. "Well yeah, but then we can't steal jackets from grumpy volleyball players." You teased.

You were inches apart now. Tsukishima could see the glitter in your lip gloss, reflecting the moonlight. Your lips looked really soft. He felt his face burn and turned away, grateful for the darkness. 

The wind blew a heavy breeze and he shivered in spite of himself. Without a second thought, you wrapped your arms around him. 

His pulse raced. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears and smell the sweet perfume you wore as it enveloped him. He froze and felt you shrink back.

"Sorry! I thought, since I stole your jacket I…uh…" You stammered and a buzzing noise came from your pocket. You fumbled with your phone and answered it. 

"Yeah. What?! No. No. So? Why did you- no please. Well can anyone else-? Uh-huh. But- I-..." You frowned as the line went dead. You looked upset, your brow furrowed and bit your lip. 

"Um, so that was Kuroo. Bokuto got drunk and threw up in the car and so he asked me to take you to the dorms since they don't have room. Um…yeah." You trailed off, fidgeting with the zipper on the jacket you wore. 

Tsukishima got the feeling you were not excited about spending time in a car with him. 

"I can just find a ride."

Your eyes widened. "No! I mean, I don't mind. We are going to the same place. Um, here's your jacket. I parked uh, pretty close so we can just head there right now." You hopped up, yanking his jacket off and handing it to him stiffly. He blinked and took it from your hands. You avoided his gaze and you led the way to your car. 

"Door is unlocked." You said and he opened the door. A waft of your perfume, that damned intoxicating scent, washed over him. He squeezed into the passenger seat and you fiddled with the radio, tuning to an old rock station before checking your mirrors and backing out.

Your hands drummed on the steering wheel as you drove, determined to not look at Tsukishima. He looked out the window, the tension in the car thick.

What happened to make you switch your mood so fast? You seemed jumpy, almost in fear of him and he was 1000% sure you would rather be anywhere else. 

You pulled into the parking lot of the dorms and stared straight ahead, your knuckles white. Tsukishima waited a moment before undoing his seatbelt.

"Er, thanks."

You nodded, still avoiding eye contact.

"Of course, no problem. Sleep well." He closed your door quietly so as to not disturb the dorms and slipped into his room.

You finally sighed, looking at your passenger seat where his dark jacket laid on the seat.

"Fuck."

—

Tsukishima quietly slipped through his door and flicked on the light.

"Hey hey hey how was it?!" Bokuto yelled and Akaashi shushed him. Tsukishima stumbled back.

"What the hell?"

Kuroo clapped him on the shoulder. "I told you, we got your back. So did you kiss her??" Even Kenma looked up from his game.

Tsukishima frowned. "No. What the hell? I thought you were drunk." He said, pointing at Bokuto.

Akaashi smiled. "Of course not. I wouldn't let him get drunk and drive." Bokuto nodded solemnly.

Kuroo shot his signature cat-like grin. “We told a tiny white lie. But more importantly, did you make a move?!”

The boys waited impatiently. Tsukishima sat down on his bed.

“No.”

Bokuto jumped up. “What?! Why Tsukki????” He cried out, Akaashi desperately trying to shush him.

Kuroo stared incredulously at Tsukishima. “What? Why not? You two looked cozy on the dock!” 

Tsukishima narrowed his eyes. “How did you see us at the dock?”

Kenma shrugged, turning back to his game. “It’s a Pokestop. I was trying to catch a Wartortle.”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. He looked at his phone, scrolling past your contact info, the winking emoji taunting him from the small screen.

Kuroo sat down beside him. “What happened, bro?”

Tsukishima took a deep breath.

“Nothing. We talked on the dock and then she got really weird and distant and it was very clear she did not want to give me a ride, thanks for that by the way, and she drove us here and barely spoke to me. She didn’t even look at me when I left.”

Three pairs of eyes stared at him stunned. 

“Wait, what? She was VERY clearly into you based on the picture Kenma sent us.” Kuroo said, scrolling through his phone. “Look.”

He pulled up a picture of you and Tsukishima sitting very close on the dock. It was blurry and far away but he could make out the image of you in midlaugh. If he hadn’t been there, he wouldn’t have believed that was the same girl who barely spoke two words the entire drive home.

“I don’t know! She just started stuttering and wouldn’t talk to me.” Tsukishima said, exasperated.

Bokuto looked close to tears. Akaashi hummed. “Well what happened before she started acting strange?”

Tsukishima thought back. “She was shivering because she was dumb and didn’t bring a jacket. I lent her mine and we were fine. And then she hugged me and when she pulled away she got distant.”

The room was silent. Then Kenma spoke up. “Did you hug her back?”

Kuroo laughed. “Of course he did Kenma, what kind of question is that?” He looked at Tsukishima and then frowned. “Are you fucking serious right now?”

Even Bokuto looked aghast. “You didn’t hug her back? She gives great hugs, what the hell, Tsukki!”

Akaashi cleared his throat. “I think what they are trying to say is, that was a stupid move. She thinks you rejected her.”

Tsukishima frowned. “What?! I didn’t have time to react. She was hugging me and I just…I froze, okay? I don’t do well with that stuff. By the time I realized what was happening, she was already handing me my jacket.”

Bokuto facepalmed. Kuroo grabbed Tsukishima by the shoulders, shaking him. “YOU LET HER GIVE YOUR JACKET BACK?!” 

Akaashi groaned. “So now she thinks you rejected her and probably only gave her your jacket out of necessity.” 

Even Kenma looked annoyed. “Practice is going to be weird tomorrow.”

Kuroo looked over at Tsukishima and frowned. “Wait, where’s your jacket?”

Tsukishima looked down.

“Fuck.”

—--

Tsukishima woke up and stared at the ceiling. Coach Ukai pounded at his door. 

“Up and at ‘em! Just because you’re finger’s broken doesn’t mean you can stay in bed!”

He sighed, throwing on his practice gear. He stared at his phone, willing a text to come in from you. Or maybe you would just pretend he didn’t exist. That might be helpful too. He stared at the ground.

Ukai pounded at the door again and Tsukishima sighed.

When he got to the gym, he glanced at the area you usually worked, near the coaches. There was no sign of you. He re-tied his laces, fiddling with the knots. 

“She’s not here yet.” Kuroo muttered from behind him. Tsukishima looked up. “Weird, because she’s never late.” He looked pointedly at Tsukishima before he headed back to the Nekoma team and Tsukishima frowned. 

With each slam of the door, he expected to see you saunter in, laughing as you carried your clipboard. When Coach Sato blew his whistle, you still hadn’t arrived.

“Teams, we expect some good matches today. As you may have noticed, Y/N is not here today as she is under the weather. If you have any injuries, please reach out to Coach Itto here who will assist you for the day.”

A short man bowed to the teams and Coach Sato blew the whistle again. 

Tsukishima headed to the area where Karasuno was stretching. Nishinoya was talking to Tanaka.

“Sucks that Y/N is sick today. I was gonna show her my new receive.” He said and Tanaka nodded. 

“I heard there was some wild party last night. Maybe she’s hungover?” He guessed, laughing. Sugawara, who was stretching next to them, frowned. “I doubt it. She’s responsible and wouldn’t do something like that. I hope she feels better soon.” He noticed Tsukishima staring. “Tsukishima, aren’t you two friends? If you see her, tell her we hope she feels better.”

Tsukishima looked down, saved by Ukai’s whistle. 

—-

Your phone buzzed.

Bokuto: Hey Hey! Are you feeling okay?

You smiled at the screen, typing a message back before collapsing onto your pillow.

Y/N: I’m okay, just a little under the weather. How about you?

Bokuto: I’m doing great! I gotta go tho because Akaashi is staring at me. Bye!

You grinned. He was definitely cheery for a person so drunk he threw up in his own car the night before. You sank back into bed.

You knew it was a coward’s solution, avoiding Tsukishima by missing practice. But ugh, you felt like an idiot. You were sure he liked you, he gave you his jacket for crying out loud. But then when you stupidly made a move, he just…stared at you. You shivered thinking about his look when you let go of him. Ugh, he probably thought you were some lovestruck schoolgirl. 

You groaned, covering your face with your blanket. Peeking out from under the covers, you spotted his jacket on your desk. He had been so freaked out, he left it in your car. Now it taunted you as a reminder of how you threw yourself, literally, at him.

—- 

The last whistle blew in the gym and Tsukishima grabbed his water bottle as he turned to leave. He ran smack into Hinata.

“Oi Saltyshima! Watch where you are going!” The tangerine yelled at him, rubbing his head. Hinata carried a box in his other hand. 

“What’s that?” Tsukishima asked, gesturing to the box. Hinata smiled wide.

“We are going to take snacks to Y/N’s dorm so she feels better. You want to come with us?”

A few other boys perked up from their respective teams, including unfortunately, Bokuto and Kuroo. Kuroo sidled up next to Tsukishima.

“He would love to go, RIGHT TSUKISHIMA?” He turned, glaring at the blonde. Bokuto stood on the other side of him, boxing him in. Tsukishima sighed, taking the box from Hinata’s hand.

“Fine, I’ll go.”

Hinata glared at him. “No way. You don’t get to take credit for these snacks!” 

Tsukishima stared down at him. “What are you gonna do about it?”

Daichi came between them. “Tsukishima will tell her that they are from you. But we shouldn’t all go. It will overwhelm her.” He looked knowingly at Tsukishima. “I think Tsukishima should go alone.”

Tsukishima looked down at the box. He shrugged. 

“Fine.”

—-

The walk to your dorm was long. Tsukishima dreaded having to face you. You probably hated him, which he didn’t mind from other people, but didn’t want that from you. When he thought of your eyes scrunching up when you laughed, the way your hand felt over his…it made his stomach hurt. He finally could delay the trip no longer. He reached the medic dorm and knocked.

It was silent. He waited a moment before knocking again.

“Y/N?” he called. No answer.

He looked at the box in his hand. Should he just leave it here? Should he leave a note? He heard voices coming towards your dorm and turned around.

You were walking with Osamu Miya, that damned smile on your face. You laughed at something Osamu said before you noticed Tsukishima standing there.

“Tsukishima! Um, what are you doing here?” You looked at the box in his hand.

He shoved the box into your hands, not meeting your eyes.

“Hinata sent these for you and says he hopes you feel better.” He turned around, walking quickly back to his dorm, ignoring your calls of his name.

—

Tsukishima ignored his phone as it buzzed on his desk. He tried to focus on his book, where he had re-read the same line at least 5 times. His phone buzzed again and he glanced at the screen.

He didn’t know whether to be relieved or frustrated that it wasn’t a text from you. On one hand, he wanted you to feel guilty. But on the other hand, what did you have to feel guilty for? You weren’t together. You could talk or date anyone you wanted, even Osamu Miya, though he didn’t know why you would choose him. The guy had grey hair and was just as annoying as his stupid brother.

A knock at his door broke him from his thoughts.

“Oi Tsukishima, open up!” It was Kuroo. 

He tried to ignore the door, focusing back on his book. He banged on the door again.

“Tsukki, I know you are in there and I will wait here all night.”

Tsukishima groaned, getting up to answer the door.

“What?”

Kuroo barged in, followed by Kenma, Bokuto, Akaashi, and surprisingly, Daichi. The guys stood in a weird semicircle around Tsukishima’s bed.

“Well, what happened?” Kuroo asked. Bokuto nodded, looking excited. “Did you finally apologize for being an idiot?”

Daichi nodded. “They filled me in. Please tell me you fixed this.”

Tsukishima sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Everything is fine. She was out and got there when I was about to leave and I gave her the stupid box.”

Akaashi looked at him. “What did you talk about?”

Tsukishima shrugged. “We didn’t. She was with Osamu Miya and they were coming back from somewhere so I just handed her the box and told her it was from Hinata.”

Daichi, Kuroo, and Bokuto groaned. Akaashi stared at him, disappointed. Kenma was focused on his game.

“Well, did you declare your love for her? Kiss her in front of him or something?” Bokuto asked and Tsukishima rolled his eyes. 

“No. Clearly she’s over whatever happened. The end. She’s with Osamu. Can we stop this stupid romantic comedy bullshit?” Tsukishima said, frustrated. 

Kuroo grabbed his shoulders. “Tsukishima! She would never choose Osamu. That guy has been chasing her for YEARS and she has never said yes. She missed practice today because you were a dummy who hurt her feelings. You need to go make this right!”

Daichi nodded solemnly. “Tsukishima, you don’t understand. There’s something big there between you two. Everyone can see it. The tension between you two is insane. Osamu probably called her at a time when she was vulnerable and hurt. You need to tell her how you feel.”

Tsukishima looked at the guys. Even Kenma was nodding along. Tsukishima groaned and sighed.

There was a knock at his door.

“Who is that?” Kuroo whispered. Tsukishima shrugged. “Probably Hinata to ask about the snacks.” He answered the door.

You stood there, shivering and wet, holding a plastic bag.

“Hey!”

Tsukishima closed the door.

“Was that her?” Daichi asked and Tsukishima nodded. 

“Open the door idiot!” Kuroo hissed. Akaashi pointed to the bathroom and the rest of the boys silently herded into the small room. Tsukishima swallowed hard and re-opened the door.

“Hi.”

You shivered again and he blinked. “Shit, sorry er, come in.”

You gave a small smile and stepped into the room. He grabbed a towel from the small closet and handed it to you.

“Um, here.”

Taking it, you nodded. “Thanks. Sorry it rained on me when I was walking here.” You quickly tried to dry your dripping hair. The room was silent except for the occasional droplets of water.

“Um, I uh, I brought your jacket.” You said, extending the bag to him. 

He looked at your outstretched arm and silently took the bag from you.

“Thanks.” He placed the bag on his desk. 

The two of you were silent again. Then you both began.

“About–”

“So–”

You laughed. “Um, you go ahead.”

He swallowed hard.  “I guess you are feeling better.”

Inside the bathroom, Kuroo facepalmed silently.

You nodded. “Uh, yeah. I was just feeling really uh, weird this morning.”

The room got quiet again and you concentrated very hard on the floor tiles. He spoke first.

“I’m really bad at this.”

You looked up. “Bad at what?”

He sighed and fiddled with his fingers.

“I’m not a person who talks about feelings. Or very good at reciprocating them…appropriately? I feel things, obviously, but–” he trailed off.

“I’m sorry I hugged you. I thought I was getting a vibe but then I saw how you reacted and it made me realize you do not like me like that. I shouldn’t have been presumptuous.” You said quickly. Your face was flushed.

He blinked.

“I do though.”

Your eyes met his. “What?”

He nodded. “Like you, I mean. In that way.” His face was reddening and you had the urge to kiss his cheeks.

You stared at him. “Wait what? But you–” 

He sighed. “I froze. I told you. I’m not good at expressing these things and it was overwhelming, a cute girl on top of me.”

You blushed, then frowned. “I was not ON TOP of you.”

He smirked. “Yeah, you kind of were.”

You pouted, and he had the strongest desire to kiss your lips. “Tsukishima, I was NOT on top of you!”

He cocked his head to the side. “Are you calling me a liar, Miss ‘called in sick to work today’?”

Your mouth fell open in mock offense. “Tsukishima Kei, you are a mean guy.”

He smirked, again. Stupidly handsome mean guy, you thought.

“JUST KISS ALREADY!” a voice from the bathroom startled the two of you. You turned to the noise and Tsukishima grabbed your face, surprising you with a kiss. Your eyes widened in shock before you melted into his embrace. His lips were soft and you felt fireworks exploding in the back of your brain as all the stupid drama floated away for this moment.

You didn’t even notice the trail of boys leaving the bathroom, Kuroo stopping to shoot a thumbs up at the two of you.

“God I love training camps.”