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tiistirtipii · 2 years

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Akk from the earlier episodes would have a mental breakdown if he saw himself in the later episodes and that is so funny to me.

#I don’t know how to describe it #but imagine him seeing himself in any situation with Ayan post episode 10 at the latest #oh who am I smiling at with so much happiness?#AYAN??!!#the guy I hate?? the guy trying to take over the school??#WHY am I hugging him and kissing him and being comforted by him?#why am I looking at him like he’s my everything?#what kind of black magic is this?!#on a serious note every time I think about how their relationship slowly changed I feel emotional #that’s the magic of enemies to lovers baybeee #also it wouldn’t take much to make Akk have a mental breakdown he’s teetering on the edge of one every five minutes #it’s one of the thing I love about him #anyway hope someone gets what I mean #akk the eclipse #the eclipse #the eclipse the series #first kanaphan #gmmtv #tiistirtipii #akkposting

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tzarrz · 4 months

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i listen to fog lake too much

#falls through the ceiling with a mighty crash hello #it's been what...8 months?#I was too busy w uni and being mentally ill #thank u everyone so much for the tags on all prev posts.. i re-read them oaccasionally 💗#they make me v happy thank u for giving me a moment of ur time #that means so much #anyway! vashwood!!#i hate them so much #i want to eat them #i want to ugly cry #i want an ideal world where they could've had something for a little bit #im eating drywall and pacing around the room in a cold sweat #so trimax-atypical overt intimacy it is #more coming...in maybe another year #It's a big project!#to me. yeah #my dream is to be put in a terrarium for a while #if only u knew how many wips I have w vashwood..#maybe i'll get tired and pile them into one post all unfinished and no less ok for it yk #whatever u r doing doesn't need to be perfect to make someone happy #didn't u experience a positive little zap from my imperfect colored doodle rn?#what a speedrun of a drawing that was #(<spent 10h on it. that's the minimum for anything ever)#hope today is treating you well! so long stranger!#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trimax #trigun #tzarrz

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turtleblogatlast · 6 months

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Something I like about Leo is that he’s honestly really chill? It’s easy to remember the moments where he’s being obnoxious or excitable but I feel like most of the time he’s incredibly “go with the flow” and has an overall affable demeanor.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #Genuinely speaking I feel like said demeanor is incredibly useful for when he has to charm and/or persuade people into listening to him#I have a whole post talking about Leo’s charm and how he consistently gets people to hear him out even if he’s annoyed or upset them #like they’ll still listen to what he has to say in full #his charisma stat is real and utilized quite often in this series I swear he’s not just a loser cringeboy all the time 😭#if he wants to persuade and/or charm then he honestly sooo often does #me listing the 400th reason why Leo grows up to be the worlds best ninja and a good 365 of those reasons are Leo’s various subterfuge skill #Like most episodes where he’s not the main focus (and even many where he is)#he’s a voice of reason who notices things quickly and is often the one taking point to talk down situations #something interesting I found between Leo and Mikey is that #Mikey tells people what they need to hear #Leo tells people what they want to hear #not only out of his own agenda either #when bullhop was wrecking their home leo was the one that negotiated to make the situation go smoother #even if he would have rather bullhop left #meanwhile Mikey is the one who bluntly tells things as it is #small character moment that means a lot to me #Mikey is an honest boy who is upfront about his feelings #Leo prefers to let people make their own decisions he wants them to through steering the convo in that direction #but he is easily cowed by guilt #regardless leo is a people person - he knows how to talk to them and how to manipulate/persuade #and I like that his bros know this and often push him forward to do the talking if they wanna charm someone into doing what they want #I think Leo’s hope speeches are also an example of this - he’s saying what people really want to hear (and often it’s ALSO what they NEED)#the further the series goes on the higher Leo’s inner stress rises and he just keeps that chill aura anyway #there’s a reason!!! he wanted to go to a SPA so badly!!#literally the first thing he does when he gets in is rest #no joke meditation would do him good? like- it’s a Leo thing and I genuinely think rise leo would be no different here

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pokimoko · 2 months

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Hello!! i just discovered your blog and firstly i wanna say that your art is gorgeous! <33 and secondly, if youre still taking requests could i get a lesbian/non binary cheetah? /nf

Thank you! Cheetahs be upon ye!

#ask #art request #my art #art #lesbian #lesbian pride #nonbinary #enby #nonbinary pride #enby pride #cheetah #pride #pride art #queer #queer art #animal art #lgbtqia+#lgbtq+#critter series #/nf is one of those acronyms that i don't really understand even though i know technically what it means...i think? it's 'not forced' right #(sorry if that's not actually what it stands for. apart from tumblr i'm very much under a rock when it comes to most internet stuff)#it's more the phrase itself that confuses me. or moreso amuses me i suppose #'not forced' sounds like something someone who is definitely *not* being threatened by a secret enemy spy would say #'hi fellow spy friend of mine. you know where we keep our secret stash of money haha /nf' <- absolutely being forced via enemy spy blackmai #what you obviously mean by /nf: hey don't feel pressured to do this :) this is a polite request #what my brain decides to read it as: dear god! it's secret code! someone is holding them hostage and forcing them to ask for art. D:#but i do appreciate you adding it just in case. but if you're polite and kind in your words than an ask never sounds demanding to me :)#anyway sorry for getting COMPLETELY off track. forgive my silly little mind. we're here for pride critters #AND WHAT A GREAT CRITTER CHOICE for those flags my friend. they worked really well :D hope you enjoy #id in alt

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undead-moth · 3 months

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I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?

I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.

Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.

Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.

#The Bear #SydCarmy #I was like a casual fan of this show two days ago #and now seeing how little respect this show gets from it's fanbase I'm losing my mind #I mean I shipped SydCarmy before anyway but now it means so much to me #it means so much to see such a realistic and purposefully well paced romance take place #so many shows portray romantic relationships and their beginnings in ways that just don't really happen in real life #and this show very purposefully said no. These are characters who are strangers. who are working together. Who are in a tense environment #and each of them has problems - one of them the type of problems that makes developing new relationships pretty difficult #these two would not get together right away. It would take a long time. And there would be ups and downs.#And even when that's the case. Even if when it takes a long time and doesn't go smoothly and is hard -#it can still be beautiful. It can still be romantic. It can still happen and here's how #and I'm just so inspired genuinely. It is so difficult to write romance without being cliche and so difficult to write it in a way that #could actually happen in real life and I really do hope I can write something half as good some day #and then to know so many people have no appreciation for it at all #because they prefer the shows that have characters make eye contact a few times and then confess their love for each other like #it's just fucking sad. So sad that so few people have any appreciation for good writing especially the difficult of romance writing #like I really just don't even know what to tell you. In real life these two would not have confessed to each other yet. They would not have #kissed yet. They would not have even realized they have feelings for each other yet because those feelings would still be developing #and I also want to point out that given the disparity in power between Syd and Carmy in season 1 it wouldn't have been healthy for them to #get together much sooner. He was her boss. He was also her idol. Before they can even get together that needs to be balanced out.#And then on top of that don't you see the value in Carmy realizing the dream girl he's romanticized in his head - Claire - isn't actually #what he wants? Don't you see the beauty in him being disillusioned from that? And realizing that Syd is what he wants?#Don't you see the beauty in Syd having an idealized vision of what Carmy The Great Chef is like realizing she was wrong and that he's human #and flawed and then realizing - she loves him anyway? She loves him more for not being on a pedestal and for having his flaws?#Are you telling me that even thinking about this doesn't move you? Doesn't make your heart ache a little?#And again - ship and let ship - but what is Luca? What is Luca if not just what she was hoping Carmy would be when she wen to The Beef?#What is he if not just another man who she has not seen under pressure yet? Not seen reliving trauma yet? Not been her boss yet?#It's easy to look at him and think he's better than Carmy - and that's the point. That's the point The Bear is making.#It is easy to want someone you don't know. It's hard to want to someone you do know. But that's what love requires and that's the point

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archersartcorner · 7 months

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Back in Far Harbor gang… I get they probably didn’t want to extend a cutscene where the player had no control out too long, but I do wish in the Acadia meeting that you can eavesdrop on they brought up Nick 😭 but they do Not so here’s me making up scenarios. The Usual. 😏

#my art #described #fallout 4 #dima #fallout 4 dima #nick valentine #also like the idea that Nick & Dima have internal fans and when they get Super Emotional u just hear WRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WHDBDJ #also playing with the idea that po is a psyker/has a ‘sight’ equivalent that’s. essentially just in-game save-scumming LMAO #rly hoping that’s not an idea I’m accidentally stealing from someone. PLS lemme know if someone else has used that and I just Forgot 😭#but ye essentially when faced with the more decisive moments. Po might just pass out and ‘experience’ all of the options -#- (akin to garnets future vision in SU I’d say!) and that helps him determine the best path forward #thought sometimes when it’s a smaller decision he doesn’t pass out. just experiences some light fatigue and then -#- ‘oh ya btw that trunk is trapped. yea you’ll get blowed up if you just open it.’ ‘…. well thanks for relaying that .0001 seconds before-#-I opened it PO.’#but anyway. all that to say that’s what Nick’s referring to when he said po probably ‘saw’ it and then encouraged the path #po meanwhile is upstairs looking through faraday’s diary - I mean uhhhhhhhhhh the other secret stuff. def not his diary #anyway. DiMA’s not biological but there is an importance to him to him and Nick’s relationship. he’s stupid protective of Nick -#- who probably doesn’t appreciate being the ‘little’ brother all that much. but that’s just how DiMA’s rationalized their ‘roles’#I just like em hehe

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oceandiagonale · 2 months

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Actually, Guzman is his spanish name.

OH YEAH some other folks pointed that out too, makes sense since it's an irl Spanish name (probably why I see it around a lot!) 😳

(normally it's a surname, I've only seen it used as a first name once in a blue moon -- but also in the pokemon world it's pretty clear that naming conventions aren't the same lol)

#oceandi answers #radicalldreamer #still harder for me to connect it to him since I played all the games in english -- it's only one letter away but it still feels just a #smidge closer than 'bromley'#frankly I hope someone out there calls him 'bromley guzmán' as his full name. and he just GOES by 'guzma' bc it sounds cool #that'd be neat #tag rambling #rambling ahead ->#speaking of guzma I spent a long time talking about aus with some friends and well. I think his dad's from johto skdjfksjdfskjd #iirc that was a HC back in the day amongst a small group of guz enjoyers.... but I think it makes SO much sense for gene's guz specifical #ly bc listen . hear me out okay he somehow knew about the bug trainers' convention and he wanted to go and usu'ally they #hold it in JOHTO. he's never won a gold medal for BATTLE but got the dawn stone as his first ever victory -- guess what region you can #get a dawn stone from in a competition that's based on more than just battling? YEAH -- JOHTO BUG CATCHING CONTEST BABEYYY #(hgss edition)#TWO of his main team are johto pokemon #he moved from melemele island to ula'ula where malie city/garden are -- inspired by johto and even including a johto-style gym #(I mean yeah he STAYED bc po town had a sudden amount of free real estate but why did he GO THERE in the FIRST place to join the #proto-Team Skull.)#though ig if he hates his dad maybe his dad's Not from johto and is from paldea instead ('rents could've been inspired by the name guzmán #and just wanted to make it sound more unique lol)#but either way he totally used to go to johto with his dad which is where he won a bug catching contest with his pinsir.#and then started winning battles there but always getting second/third place in actual like. /competition/ competitions. so not #getting the grand prizes/money/stuff/fame that his dad wanted him to earn for the family #ANYWAYS.

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impostorsshow · 3 months

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I'm actually so obsessed with him it's not even funny if i'm not listening to a TikTok or music directly related to him I can't focus free me free me

This is @/cherubpuppet's OC for a object show [au? pitch? wip show? How do I categorize this] and I've been destroyed by the fact that ruler art is infinitely superior [and 10x longer] and i don't have a good enough grasp on lip gloss's personality to make fanfiction so I am frozen in "want make fanart but fanart takes effort :["

#also object shows are the new mlp community change my mind /ref #from what ive seen a very large part of the community is centered around death/gore or mature topics? it reminds me of the mlp infection au #that and smile hd and everybody keeps saying object shiws are kids shows - if kids are making this stuff then good for them /gen #every fandom has its toxic/proship/18+ side obviously but from my pov gen alpha needed something they coudl handle age appropriate extremes #with - its just alot harder to make compelling emotional angst/gore with newer ultra sanitized shows or w/ mascot horror #and like thats a whole nother tooic but its obvious to me younger kids have flocked to mascot horror so harshly because average kids tv is #much more afraid of tackling any big topics to the point that the ones that DO [bluey] immediately are pushed into front and center #but i mean i also rewatched a few episodes of the shows i grew up with and ngl i think we need shit like ren and stimpy and invader zim #i hate ren and stimpy and i didnt grow up with zim but i grew up with pbs kids shit and that shit looking back was hella boring i never #cared for any of the tv shows i saw aside from elmos world and even then i was hoping that something gorey would happen. at like 5 yrs old #im rambling anyway im not sure if im actually going to get into the os communitg but i AM horribly attached to tape to the point that its #maybe possibly becoming harmful to my mental health so im gonna stick around for him for like months #just know that if im not posting anything its because im obsessed with this guy #oh also DID/MALE SA REP LETS FUCKIN GOOO #I LOVE PSYCHOLOGY AND IVE HAD LIKE 4 FRIENDS WITH DID/OSDD I NEED MORE POSITIVE REP OF STIGMATIZED/COMPLEX DISORDERS !!!!!#art #tape dispenser #search for smos #talk talks #EDIT NO. NO DONT SAY IM THE ONLY PERSON ON TUMBLR WHO HAS USED THE SMOS TAG NO. OH MY GOD #PLEASE BEING OBSESSED WITH SOMEONE ELSES OC IS SO GARD DONT LEAVE ME ALONE DO I NEED TO BUILD THIS FANDOM FROM THE GROUND UP??? NOO

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moeblob · 5 months

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Ananza realizing that Deacon's mom was a devoted follower of hers THEREFORE that's her son now, too! And she will dote on him and love him and never pick on him like all the other deities tend to do. That's her precious little boy who lives in another city and rarely gets to see her!

#my characters #deacon gets mocked for being weird by every other deity but her and ymber (though he does think hes a TAD weird)#and ananza is like NOPE THATS MY LIL BOY !!! I LOVE HIM! and after deacon and ymber leave from their visit #she gets all huffy with fulj because YOU COMPLAINED ABOUT DEACON SO MUCH ??? my sweet lil angel?#and fulj just what - hey wait - did we meet the same person? sweet lil angel?#also for if you care cause i definitely do #ananza is like hmmmm since thats my son now i HAVE to give him something but .... ymber is so protective....#and then she is like OH YEAH ! ohime said deacon recognized my dance !#then she is like deacon please come dance with me i formally request a dance come here away from him please here hey #and since deacon is a nice guy hes like ok but i cant really dance well and shes just noooo worries!#and then as they dance she slowly gets him away from ymber and after they are at a decent distance she just #takes his hands in hers and then FWOOSH there's a bunch of wind and deacon is left speechless like ??? what was that?#and so then she is so proud to say that while ymber placed a very PASSIONATE blessing on him she did no such thing!#it is a simple blessing for him since hes like a son to her and hey it might not make you immune to stuff like drowning #but if you are ever in combat which i hope you arent then you will be super duper agile and quiet #and so hes like oh thats pretty cool actually! hey wait what did you mean by passionate hey what #but then the super light footsteps actually are not simply for combat and now hes just a very tall quiet guy #and since he cant remember faces if he sneaks up on someone and they say AGAIN? HOW ARE YOU SO QUIET? hes just #im sorry i didnt mean.... to.... do that.... again.............. (whomst is this and how many times did i spook them)#and ymber is just really happy that thank goodness his blessing and ward act as a GPS and so at least HE knows when deacon is nearby #and fulj is like i hate him even more now did you know he nearly gave me a heart attack like two hours ago ??? this is a crime against me #anyway ananza and deacon are just cute together and hes her precious lil son!

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leatherbookmark · 1 year

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our flag means death S2E3: the innkeeper

#our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 spoilers #shrimp gifs #it was just a very pretty scene i think #i'm laughing because i played around with curves -- as you do -- but then i had to manually bring the brightness down and make everything #more blue again because it's just better that way lol #god i'm having... so many little marbles bouncing around my head like #this post is already tagged with all the spoiler tags i think i can talk in here #the way it started i had No Inkling At All that this would be this kind of setting. so i didn't pay attention to the surroundings or all th #stuff. hell i could barely hear what they're saying because all my fancy schmancy english skills fall apart in the face of your normal soun #mixing. I MISSED THAT IZ AND ED SAID “LOVE” LIKE HELLO #but. but anyway. but. but once it was revealed that This Is All In Ed's Head. that hornigold is ed and everything is ed. man. god.#it's cold and wet and dark (ed likes warmth). ed was washed up on the shore with his face full of sand but THEN he got rescued by someone #who he hated and associated with all the pain and violence AND who then force-fed him soup so he could get better. who had pretty pieces of #glass hanging from his tent (there's no sun but the decoration itself is a promise of a pretty sighs when the rays of the sun hit #just right--) AND you can't forget the sandals. and the play-acting and aoughhhh EEEDDDDDDDD god he's so good HE'S SO GOOD #i dont think i should touch the delightful revenge scenes because they're dark as fuck and idk if the files i have are hq enough #to survive the becurvening. BUT. ed my love!!! i hope this is not where your insanities end

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metukika · 8 months

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ill say it before and ill say it again. hc that teru doesnt like serizawa at all.

#im gonna go into it here cuz im not confident in my hcs hi hello #so actually not cuz of the whole claw thing. i think that seri wanting to be a better person is like the one thing teru respects about him #and thats the thing. hes like !!! hes kinda like me!!! so he lowkey tries to make a connection thru that like haha we were both assholes an #arent perfect but trying! but see heres the thing. serizawa is an adult. he wants to act like an adult. so he treats teru like a child. not #in a bad way. normal adult to child. he respects him and all but see teru acts and maybe feels that he feels like an adult. so he sees that #as disrespectful. finally someone whos kinda ignorant like him... but hes treating teru like hes a child?! maybe legally serizawa is an #adult but after staying inside his room for years and then all that manipulation at claw.. mentally teru considers them the same. except #that seri wont act like it cuz reigen told him how to treat regular teenagers but teru isnt a regular teenager get what im sayin #ok and. then teru is kinda mean to him like ok man get outta my way but seri respects him and gives him more chances which makes teru feel #guilty which makes him dislike seri even more and try to push him away by being mean and its this hopeless cycle until one day teru snaps a #him and they have an actual conversation and he can see that hes actually the one treating serizawa like a child. and that hes like a shitt #adult in this scenario am i making any sense is anyone even listening #anyways sorry this is in the tags if u thought it was good and wanted to rb. hope i made u consider some dynamics

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fearandhatred · 2 months

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#tw neil gaiman #respectfully how is the conclusion some people are coming to all of this “good or bad doesn't exist”#by all means use that as a comfort that the media you are consuming isn't 'tainted' by the creator #but if not for comfort then how is your main takeaway that you want everyone to know after someone has done horrible things #to be that that person can be good.#it's not an inaccurate statement most of the time but neither do i think it's an appropriate one at this time.#anyway where's that post that said “are people going to stop dickriding neil gaiman now or was the zionism not enough”#because yeah. i get some people are devastated by this news and if this is your first rodeo with liking a celebrity #then i suggest you step away from idolisation or the mindset that what someone shows online is who they are #because i understand objectively why you might feel that way and the inherent connection between art and artist #and i understand feeling like maybe some of that toxicity could have bleed into the creations #but if you're crushed just because you thought he was a good person i hope this is a lesson going forward #because the reaction should not be this intense. you should not be having parasocial relationships with anyone #in the end you don't and will never know them no matter how good you think they are #feel free to disagree. but this is my take and has been my take for a long time #and it has been my take on neil gaiman since i joined the fandom

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madamescarlette · 4 months

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Also in the current cinema environment that is very much oriented towards filmmakers who love to shine the light on the act of filmmaking, it's weirdly such a comfort to see The Fall Guy is made by someone who loves movies themselves!

#DOES THIS MAKE SENSE #I think the art of filmmaking is so endearing and intricate!! it's so beautiful there's a whole generation of directors who love the process #but in its own way i am just an outsider to the process so it captures my heart in a different way #for someone to express what the final medium can mean to you!!!#yes the perfect song at the perfect time and the laugh in the midst of the whole story and the rush of the best sequence they got!#they mean a lot to me because it's the part of the art i get to engage in #and this movie overall felt like a love letter to that. is that strange?#ANYWAY LOVE U ALL HOPE YOU'RE WELL

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cyanide-sippy-cup · 1 month

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So, Book of Bill, huh?

#idk I've not read it #this did not come out like i wanted it AT ALL #what it was supposed to be was the spark from mcguckets “memory inferno” burning a hole through bills eye #but uh. yeah it's not great #i honestly wouldn't post it but i cramped my fingers making it so therefore you need to look at it #although i REALLY hope this just gets like 30 notes. or less even.#though i guess writing that out is pretty much jinxing it. :|#what's the opposite of sharing with your friends. uh. hide it from your friends #i guess if it gets too high i can just private it but idk that feels mean yknow #i make stuff to uplift people. if my art would make someone even think something that helps them feel better then i want them to have it #privating it just feels like I'm keeping that away #anyways right yeah fandom tags #book of bill spoilers #gravity falls spoilers #book of bill #gravity falls #bill cipher #don't follow if you're expecting more gf btw. I've had that happen a couple times. I'm a comic book girl. that's what i post about.#this is the only gf thing I'll post... possibly ever. just got really into all the posts and decided to make this #sorry :/

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copia · 5 months

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i'm going on exam season lockdown as of today, which means no more gifs/edits/anything else because i spend way too much time on them for an engineering student in the trenches lmao. posting this not because i think anybody will notice or care, but so i can hold myself accountable and get embarrassed if i break the pledge. see you on june 3rd for a ghovie creativity extravaganza

edit: besides the ghovie trailer 😭 i cant restrain myself from that one

#actually june 4th because i will be drinking on june 3rd from the moment i close my semiconductors paper #cold turkey on gif making KHBJDGVSCDH RIP #genuinely its such a relaxing thing to do that i find myself prioritising it #and unlike other chill activities it gives me the illusion of productivity #i really need to be getting that from my work and not silly bands #anyway. see u #also in my 4 years of making edits like this in many different circles i've never once felt the need to mention a like/reblog ratio #and i'm fully of the opinion that people can do whatever the hell they like and i never expect interaction #i'm grateful for what i do have #but what primarily motivates me to do this is people sharing their love for whatever is on the post #in the tags or elsewhere #i'm not talking praise or thanks or anything to me i mean 'i love this song' or 'papa looks great here' skdcvkdgvs #'this is my favourite band' u know? it's sharing passion with other people and having them share theirs with me #and in all the 4 years and many many fandoms this (ghost/st) is by far the worst for interaction like that #i'd say ghost especially skhjcsd #and this tag rant isn't a request or a 'please interact more!' or anything like that it's just #a reason as to why i'm a bit discouraged that i'm chatting about to nobody #oh yeah and especially seeing photos posted with no source and no edits get 5x the notes you'd get #the quantity of notes doesn't matter to me but the discussion and tags do #just checked my notes in the middle of typing this and someone rbed some papa ii gifs with #'hope he's steady on his feet the way i would run into him'#KDSGKDSD that's what i'm on about 😭😭😭😭😭#makes me smile knowing something i posted made somebody feel joy abt a silly band and then shared that with me through the tags #i'm aware i've been here for just over one month so shouldn't be making judgements just yet #but sometimes i wish there was more of that

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bunnihearted · 3 months

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i cant fully control my emotions during a breakdown and then i come out of it and im like oh fuck........ ._.

#bpd #like i dont mean to hurt anyone else with having my breakdown on my vent blog on tumblr...#like the stuff i say isnt aimed at anyone in particular #and it's abt MY feelings which are so confusing i get a headache #my thoughts is my enemy and im such a broken and confused little girl inside fr T-T #but like yeah im sorry for upsetting ppl???#but really i feel so suffocated bc im constantly terrified of saying smth that will upset this or that person #or reblogging the wrong thing and making someone im attached to hate me #like idk.... genuinely my blog is supposed to be a vessel? a tool? smth for me to be able to put my emotions and thoughts down #and try to make sense of them. even when i cant. it really only concerns me. i dont mean to attack or hurt anyone else :/#but i mean i really shouldnt and i shouldve learned this lesson so long ago....#being confused and broken and mentally ill and not knowing or understanding things and being messy and #saying the wrong things or phrasing it incorrectly or anything like that #or like sometimes i have one thought tied to a certain emotion but it's only there in that moment #like when i feel so lonely i could die.. yes i do have kidnapping fantasies. bc i dont.: whatever i dont owe anyone a psychoanalys of mysel #but that doesnt mean i want want to be kidnapped by a stranger who doesnt care abt me... i know that would be awful and traumatizing and no #what i *want*. bc what i desire is love #but like i feel so much pain and just venting abt it or reblogging a post helps me solidify my overwhelming emotions #idk what to say like..... ☹️☹️☹️☹️#i cant even fucking blog or do tumblr right im worthless. and yeah i know i have a victim complex.. sorry 🥲#hmmm. yeah idk what to say like when i have breakdowns i have to get myself thru them without any support #and i dont mean that to attack anyone else.: we're all alone i know.#but idk how to deal w it so i just type it out. its not to attack anyone else its to try to make sense of my emptions i dont understand ☹️#anyway.. maybe i should just accept that im too fucked up and too contradictory for anyone to actually like me #there will always be smth that will make everyone not like me anymore. thats that.#thank u for the time u do give me tho i always appreciate thay #and im sorry i really truly dont want to hurt anyone else #i just dont have .. idk it doesnt matter im sorry for what its worth and if anyone even reads this #i hope not bc i dont want anyone to perceive me and stuff like i dont wanna exist to anyone #and im not on tumblr or post stuff for attention. im just in pain and have nowehrre to put it. im sorry if im lashinf out and hurting other

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