#anyway i love deuteronomy - love that guy so much

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

the past experience revived in the meaning an old deuteronomy fanmix  [listen]

01. Lux Aurumque - eric whitacre | 02. This Little Light of Mine - a covering | 03. Der Nussbaum (The Chestnut Tree) - london promenade orchestra  | 04. I’ve Been This Way Before - neil diamond  |  05. Carry That Weight - the beatles   |  06. Libiamo ne’ lieti calici (live) - plácido domingo | 07. someone new - hozier  |  08. Homeward Bound - bryn terfel | 09. whispering - alex clare  | 10. Dear Fellow Traveller - sea wolf  | 11. Hey Brother - the mayries & dan berk | 12. Return - james newton howard  | 13. Now Sleeps the Crimson Petal Op. 3 No. 2 - roger quilter, thomas allen & geoffrey parsons | 14. Soave sia il vento - miah persson, angela brower & alessandro corbelli  | 15. Annie’s Song (instrumental) - james galway | 16. Songs My Mother Taught Me - Paul Robeson  | 17. Golden Slumbers - josh young | 18.  silhouette - aquilo | 19.  I Tried - rory campbell  | 20.  Eclipse - john denver | 21. Yearning - carl moir   | 22. The Secret Garden - aurora  | 23. Keep On - michael nesmith | 24. All The Faces - creed bratton  | 25. Constellations - the oh hellos  |  26.  Willow Tree March - the paper kites |  27. Memory (instrumental) - jian wang & göran söllscher | 28.  This Is A Changing World - noel coward  | 29.  When It’s Time - lotte kestner | 30. The Sands of Time Are Sinking - the scottish festival singers  | 31.  100 Years (Acoustic) - five for fighting | 32.  The Prayer - helene fischer & andrea bocelli | 33. I Wish I Had a Hundred Years - fernando velázquez  | 34. The Long Road (Acoustic) - passenger  |  35.  Across The Vast, Eternal Sky - the choir of royal holloway |  

Semi-explanation below the cut

Feel free to ignore this one, if you care not for context, but let me see if I can explain this because I am not completely pleased with the order *but* it’s a lot like Gus’ in that it isn’t necessarily always fully lyrically applicable, but rather tells the expanse of a life lived. 

The opening few songs are mostly free of lyrics - Deuteronomy was slow to talk when he was a kitten. He spent a good majority of his young kittenhood non-verbal and late to talk compared to his fellows, but he was still blossoming incredibly quickly developmentally, particularly in mental and telepathic capacity. He started understanding things that were odd for kittens to understand (and his second mother indicated that there was...a light behind his eyes that was difficult to place that signified a wisdom far beyond his years). The first few songs lack lyrics (or have very few) to illustrate this tentative step into a life that is celebrated (being the heir), and how he is valued but comes into himself slowly.  

“I’ve Been This Way Before” is when Deuteronomy finally starts to speak - and when he begins, he skips right over his babble and the present. He speaks about pasts he knows - so many of them - in great detail, remembering places he’s never been and cats he’s never met. He goes from being non-verbal to talking *non-stop*, often cryptically and with little reason. At this point he speaks *beyond* his own past lives; he speaks about the lives of other cats as well. And it’s at that point where it’s realized that Deuteronomy’s life isn’t going to be an easy one - he won’t just be carrying on his own life; he’ll be carrying on the lives of hundreds - thousands - of others. Not only is he meant to lead the Tribe (and after the death or disappearance of his later siblings, the *only* one left to lead), he’s meant to keep their memories as well (an ill advised combo).  

Though a relatively wise, empathetic-to-a-fault, and even tempered child, and willing to attended his training dutifully, like most young cats, Deuteronomy doesn’t take all too kindly to the promise of responsibility at first - as he entered his maturation years, he began to act out. Along with his foster brother, Gus, he settled into his “devil may care,” “sowing his wild oats” era, not quite wanting to dwell on how heavy his life was about to become, flitting from cat to cat (that’s where the “buried 99 wives” rumour comes from - there are plenty of notches in the old tom’s belt and plenty of other kittens, much as most cats lives are wont to be), experience to experience, theoretically place to place (he never leaves entirely), longing to drift off and explore the world before inevitably being tied down to his responsibilities (knowing still that he did need to return to them and never thinking he never wanted to - he always did want to). They have their fun (to a just about alarming level), but those whispers and visions he has just don’t...stop. He can ignore them all he likes, but they just get louder and clearer and begin to teach him things that he couldn’t quite grasp before; things you cannot really *be* taught. His venturing outside of the Junkyard shows him the extent of things he never experienced. So, though he longs for a continued adolescence free of the burden of his gifts and responsibility, he quickly realizes that he cannot have one. He has too many cats depending on him - there are too many wrongs in the world that he can’t run from. His father is old - Maladeen has passed on - he is the only one left. So, though it’s not entirely what he wants, he returns to his family fully, hangs up his belt, and takes up his mantle.

For the first little while, things look up for Deuteronomy. He reunites with a queen from his past, meets another, they fall in love, they build their life together in spite of knowing that, ultimately, it will never be an easy one  (”Soave sia il vento” is a cry for the sea to be calm; much like a cry for life to be easy - though Mya, and Ginny - brain children of the always brilliant @theimpossiblescheme -​ know it might not be and Dee *knows* for certain it won’t be). Still, they are happy; they have their sons, Deuteronomy thinks on his mothers and passes their teachings on to them, and it seems perhaps he’s got a grasp on everything at last. 

But, as always, nothing good lasts for too long. Deuteronomy starts disassociating far more frequently - some nights it’s hard for him to recognize himself; understand where he begins and ends. He struggles to keep from turning inwards - as his father had as he struggled with his own underdeveloped psychic abilities - and it’s just as difficult for other cats to recognize him in tandem. It’s all just...too much. Too, too much. He feels like an exposed nerve all the time; everything hurts. Everyone’s feelings burn in his throat; all of their pain becomes his, and he just shoulders more and more with seemingly no end and it’s overwhelming.His cup runs over. He loves them too much - he cares *too much*. The only way he can quiet it down it to distance himself - try to be that unshakeable calm that his training demanded of him. It works. Kinda. The rest of the Junkyard notes this change. 

Things beyond his control start happening - defects and illnesses and power struggles and threats; and others within his control start slipping through as a result. He tries to hold onto everything but he’s only one cat. He loses his eldest son to the lure of powers beyond his understanding, Mya to her sympathetic heart, then Ginny to the Heaviside- almost in succession. At this point, Deuteronomy is at a loss; the pain of others mixes with his own - it doesn’t stop. It gets so bad, that it begins to run over through the cracks in his consciousness he is barely able to patch; being around Deuteronomy can just as easily be uncomfortable and emotionally painful as not. It’s a hard time for everyone. 

But one evening, at the pique of what seems like a never ending well of suffering, he sees something (whether it be a vision from the Everlasting Cat or her servants, he’s never been certain). He tells no one of what he sees (he takes that to his grave), but whatever it was, like a switch, it gives Deuteronomy this sudden, quiet feeling of...calm. It all falls into place; he is no longer struggling against his gift, he is working with it; he *understands* it, at long last. And with this new found sense of purpose, in spite of his loss, in spite of his grief, he continues on. 

Deuteronomy ages, becomes wiser, shares his wisdom with his family. Cats leave - cats come back - he gains a whole gaggle of in laws and grandkittens and grand nieces and nephews.  He teaches his family the importance of unconditional love; the act of forgiveness, both on oneself and towards others. Mya eventually returns to him; life has finally settled. But eventually things must come to an end; the great immortal - who was thought perhaps never to die - is a mere mortal after all. Deuteronomy’s final Ball is an entirely bittersweet affair and filled with lessons overlapping one another, the old cat hoping he’s passed everything he needed to onto his family. “The Prayer” is illustrative of a final duet with his dear Sillabub, who will take the mantle after him and has the honour of sending him up, passing on the final message he imparts his cats with. 

And he is sent off in the same way he was brought into the world - with a dramatic choir swell and then silence. 

[rice-pudding-slaps]

A WILD thought just crossed my head but a Cats High School Teachers AU? It would be ✨glorious✨

Just imagine!!

Jennyanydots would totally be a language teacher That's how we call it in my country lmao language and communications. It's basically grammar and literature ANYWAY that is also kind of a mother for kids who need help. She would totally and absolutely be that Miss Honey kinda Vibes™ teacher that always has a kind word for you and if she sees you crying, she will protect you with her life (And also maybe she has this huge bag filled with napkins and sweets). She's strict tho. But not in a mean way. She doesn't just gift grades, she makes you work for it. You can turn up your paper again, but it will have 300 corrections. But she will praise your efforts and help you overcome your difficulties.

Skimble gives me such Math Teacher That Always Has a Story and Rarely Actually Teaches The Class kinda vibes. His class is always on the most absolute of silence and no one ever DREAMS of pranking him. The kids knoooow that they can say "Hey, mr Skimbles I heard you were on a train once" and boom he will tell you all these stories about his time being in charge of the Northern Mail. He has told the story sooooo many times that the children once put on a play with one of the stories for Teachers Day or smtn. He was moved to tears

Demeter would absolutely be an art teacher and be the most understanding teacher ever. She's patient and kind and she will give you a day more to bring in your work if you need it. She also always has a way to find hurt kids. Coming from an abusive background herself, she's quick to act whenever she feels a child migh need any type of help. She ended up being That Teacher That Every LGBTQ+ Kid Befriends and she is proud to be helpful and provide love to those who need it. She's very close to Munk and is always helping with the props for the plays.

Bomba is a science teacher because I said so. And because she has a similar vibe to most of my science teachers when I was in school lmao. She's funny and charismatic and pretty laid back. And you never know what to expect from her. The kids love her bc she might spend some class talking all about formulas and next class is "Hey kids wanna learn how to make EXPLOSIONS??" they never actually blow up something, but she makes the lab classes the best thing.

Munkustrap is an absolute history teacher. No questions asked. The man knows how to narrate every historical moment like you were there. He has a silver tounge (pun intended). And he always tries to teach the most he can, because history is just so broad and there is so much to talk about. And he definetely would answer all the questions, even the more weird ones. He's called by kids the Protector because even when he's easly the most strict teacher ever, he would never let anyone bad mouth his students. No matter how chaotic the class was, he will always tell them that as long as they learned something, they won. He also works in the theatre departement, so the theatre kids are in love with the guy. They tried to set him up with Demeter in a play, but gave up after a half hour speech on how they shouldn't be involved in their teachers personal lifes.

Tugger is obviously a music teacher. He is that laid back, friendly and overall awesome teacher that everyone just loves. He plays any instrument you can think of and will teach you if you ask. As a joke, a whole class asked to learn the bagpipes and when next class this rockstar of a teacher appeared with a fucking bagpipe and a whole lot for the kids they fucking LOST IT. He will help you with practice and if you want to get into serious music, then he will absolutely root for you. He has a song composed for every teacher and absolutely everyone hates him for this. He's also with the theatre kids and always helps with plays maybe to mess with Munk, maybe he likes the attention. He's also in charge of music and dance presentations and he abuses his powers greatly. And everytime a class graduates he says that he doesn't really cares that much (is the circle of life, baby) but will shed silent tears everytime bc he's gonna miss the kiddies.

Misto's obviously a dance teacher. Duh. He might be an ex student for the same school. He's fresh out of college and he sometimes doesn't know what to do, but he tries really hard. And he's harsh as fuck for the same reason. He always wears a tuxedo to class and a bowtie bc he tought it was a formal thing and now it's kind of like "his thing". He's kind of cold at first and doesn't talk really that much, the kids first tought he hated them, but later found out that he just goes non verbal sometimes and designed a whole system to communicate instructions and corrections. Misto was so happy. And that's why there is a board on the classroom they use to dance. He's also one of the teachers that every LGBTQ+ kid loves, and he tries his best to support each one. And yes, every day they ask "DO THE CONJURING TURNS MR. MISTOFFELEES" and he gladly does. There was this rumor that he was magic bc once a kid saw him in a presentation out of school and they swear he sparkled out of the blue. He knows, and sometimes he would do little tricks for the kiddos for funs, and other teachers just to mess with them. He also goes to the teathre departement and it's constantly working with Tugger so the music and dance kids do presentations together. The kids ship it so hard

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer are the best gym teachers ever. They also are very new to this, but they make class the most fun thing ever. They teach sports and gymnastics with ease. And they have no mercy on dodge ball. No. Mercy. They once were playing on the field with the kids and hit Tugger on the head. The legend says that they ran across the school for all night. The truth is that they outrun Tugger, but not Munk.

Jellylorum is the school's nurse. She always has a tecito de hierbas for you. And she will always hear you and try to get you to be better. She has infinite patience for eveyone. And she always carries pads and tampons for the kids who may need it. And if you ever need a shoulder to cry on? She's there too. She and Jenny have their officed flood on Mother's day because they are the second mothers of so many kids. She also catches up with ex-students and remember every name.

Gus is the official Theatre teacher. He is this old man who is so wise and strict, but just because he loves his craft so so much. Every year there is some kind of rumor that he might retire, but it never seemed to happen. He has a little office with so many photos and diplomas and it's just filled with memories. He is very harsh on the kids. Very. But they love him because he also can spend hours talking about his greatest performances on theatre. When he actually had to retire because he was starting to have very fragile health, everyone cried. They held a big play and he played Growltiger. No one had a dry eye that night. And he still visits the school from time to time. He goes to every play.

You might say that Old Deuteronomy is the principal and you would be very right. But this man was a teacher in his day. He taught philosophy and history and english and literature. He has more degreed that a high school teacher had to have, but he loved dearly the art of teaching. And he remembers every kid. Every morning he sits at the entrance and says to every one of them by name. He plays with the kids when his health let's him. He has a framed photo of him and Gus on their first years as teachers just along side a photo of the year Tugger joined Munkustrap on the school staff. And everyone is very sure that he might let Munkustrap take the position one day. He's also a kind soul. And will let kids tug on his beard. There was this christmas when he dressed up as santa and it was the sweetest thing ever.

Tantomille and Coricopat are philosophy teachers. They take turns doing classes and you will never know wich one taught you last class because they are in perfect sync. Their test are the most outlandish thing ever, and give points for "originality" wich is mostly just wich kid said the most weird but true thing. The kids are kinda scared of them. Just enough to not to mess up their classes.

I am not completely sure, but Alonzo being a spanish teacher just brings me so much joy. He's always teaching them songs and little games to learn spanish and the kids take total advantage of that just to mess with him. He never gets truly mad if they play a prank on him. And he's the Protector number 2 to the kids, bc he would absolutely turn up to a teachers reunion wet from head to toe and instead of tattle on the kids, he would just say it was an accident. Munk knows and always ends up catching the culprit, not always with Alonzo's help.

The Rumpus Cat is the school mascot.

[sevenkittensinatrenchcoat]

My Ranting About Cats 2019: It’s a Domino Effect of Mistakes

With some bad movies, there’s a pattern of mistakes that fall together, a major misconception that leads to multiple bad ideas. That’s certainly the case with Cats 2019, and the primary mistake here is a classic: Trying to Make an Unconventional Story More “Normal”.

A lot of character issues are side effects of giving the movie a single protagonist. Focusing on a single character makes it harder to focus on the dynamic of the ensemble, which is what most fans of the play like about the characters. Think about any story you know that has a single, obvious protagonist. All the other characters are primarily defined by their relationships with them. If the protagonist has a mother and a father, we’ll see how Protagonist Connects with Mother, and how Protagonist Connects with Father, but very little of how Mother Connects with Father, because if the focus of the story isn’t around, what’s happening isn’t important.

If you’re dealing with something longer, like a TV show, instead of a singular story like a movie or a play, some episodes might branch out a bit more and show how other characters connect to one another, but most of the time, we just accept that stories with one protagonist are more plot-driven than character-driven. Basically, in order for the audience to ignore these “Why is this guy the only one who matters?” questions, there has to be a lot of plot to focus on. Most stories with a Chosen One Protagonist, focus more on the plot than on the characters for this reason.

Even in stories that mostly work, this can still go wrong. The dynamic of Harry, Ron, and Hermione in the Harry Potter novels are a good example of something going wrong. Most people, before the series started focusing on romance, would’ve probably assumed that Harry and Hermione would end up together. Harry’s the protagonist, we’re assuming that everyone is straight, and Hermione is the female character closest to him. We think of Hermione in terms of her being Harry’s Friend, her dynamic with Harry being the one we’re supposed to care about. The story is about Harry and his two best friends. Ron’s dynamic with Harry is important, Hermione’s dynamic with Harry is important, but what Ron and Hermione are to each other isn’t. This made their relationship seem to come out of left field. If Hermione was the protagonist, there would’ve been a Team Harry and a Team Ron. If Ron was the protagonist, people would’ve expected Hermione to end up with him. But, Harry Potter is about Harry Potter, so we expect the Most Important Girl to go with the Most Important Guy.

NOTE: My perspective here is not one of a shipper. I never cared about romance in the Harry Potter books or movies that came out while I was growing up. I assumed that Harry/Hermione would be endgame until it became clear that it wouldn’t be and I still didn’t care.

That was a long digression and not a whole lot of people want to hear about anything related to JK Rowling right now, for good reason, but this has a point. When there’s a single protagonist, everyone else exists in relation to them. Without a single protagonist, all the characters exist in relation to each other equally. If a story is meant to have a single protagonist, this is just the way things are, but if you take something without a protagonist and give it one, all the character dynamics change.

Cats, as a play with no protagonist in a conventional sense, focused on the ensemble. Grizabella turned out to be a sort of protagonist, but because we spend so little time with her, she’s not a conventional main character, so character dynamics that don’t include Grizabella are just as important to the audience as those that do. We see the Jellicle Cats as a family and we care about all of them. But, when you add Victoria as the protagonist, character dynamics involving Victoria have to be prioritized.

In Cats 2019, it almost feels like the Jellicle Cats didn’t exist as a group until Victoria appeared. They have no strong connection to each other, because they’re not the main character. None of it matters. Any relationship that distracts from a relationship with Victoria has to be either cut down or removed all-together. As the Big Good, everyone can show some respect of Old Deuteronomy, but their dynamics with her can’t overshadow anything involving Victoria. Old Deuteronomy loses her connection to Grizabella to become Victoria’s mentor. Pretty much any other cat reaching out to Grizabella is removed so Victoria is the only one doing anything. That’s why there’s no Jemima. Jemima interacts with Grizabella more than Victoria does.

Munkustrap’s role has to be centered on Victoria, so he’s there for exposition now. Any further depth distracts from Victoria. If Demeter’s around, it distracts from Victoria. All of Tugger’s moments of actually caring about someone are about characters other than Victoria, so that’s all gone. If the cats act like an ensemble, Victoria could get lost in it. By rescuing Old Deuteronomy, Mistoffelees is the only other character to do a majorly heroic thing, so he becomes the male lead and thus the love interest of the female lead, because non-protagonists can only have arcs that are directly connected to the protagonist. Demeter has so much going on with her that she can’t be in the same movie as Victoria. Demeter and Bombalurina are close to each other and if you get rid of one, there’s not much for the other to do, so Bombalurina gets a completely different role.

Finally, Victoria has no real reason to want to help Grizabella, other than that she’s the heroine and that it’s the heroic thing to do. Beautiful Ghosts directly contradicts Victoria’s motivation to help Grizabella, but she has to have a song and because it’s the protagonist’s song, it has to emotionally overpower everyone else’s. Of course, it doesn’t, both because the song was rushed and someone must’ve realized that trying to upstage Memory with an original song was a terrible idea, but that’s why Beautiful Ghosts is “All you have is your memories? Well, at least you have memories!���, so Victoria’s struggle is the center of attention. But, Victoria helps Grizabella anyway, because she’s the main character and it’s her job to make the plot progress.

So, the lack of any sense of community among the Jellicles, the sidelining and/or removal of both Demeter and Jemima, the removal of Tugger’s respect for Old Deuteronomy AND his relationship with Mistoffelees, Mistoffelees being shoehorned into romantic lead role, and all the inconsistency with Grizabella all come from giving a story a protagonist that it doesn’t need and isn’t meant to have.

[sillybub]

Munk, Cassandra and Jellylorum for the ask!

Munkustrap

1: sexuality headcanon

That guy is getting a lot of sex Asexual biromantic

2: otp

Alonzostrap babey!!! (no hard feelings Lis) Demebombastrap is a VERY close second.

3: brotp

It goes back and forth between Alonzostrap and and Bombastrap fjsjfjsjfjs. Either way, Bomba and/or Alonzo are two cats that Munk feels the closest to

4: notp

Munkstoffelees 😬

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

Munkustrap loves to have some tea to relax but ends up forgetting that it's there and it grows cold. He still drinks all of it anyways because he doesn't want to be wasteful (and it only occurs to him sometimes that he can simply reheat it)

6: favorite line from this character

"When he sits in the suuuuuuun on the vicarage wall" but specifically the way Michael Gruber sings it. Old Deuteronomy is absolutely my favorite of Munkustrap's songs, though. The absolute TENDERNESS in his voice makes me melt,,,,

7: one way in which I relate to this character

I ALSO love my friend group so fucking much and will sing their individual praises at the drop of a hat

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

Specifically Shiki Munkustrap needs to lighten up 🤔 still love him though

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Absolutely a cinnamon roll 💕

Cassandra

1: sexuality headcanon

Aromantic bisexual (preference for queens)

2: otp

Cassomile (and I haven't talked about it at all on Tumblr I don't think but Cassteazermile is a favorite ot3 of mine)

3: brotp

Cass and Misto!! Cassandra is a bitchy and aloof figure and she and Misto vibe SO well together.

4: notp

Casstoffelees (which is by no means a popular ship but one I have seen before)

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

Cassandra is incredibly into astrology. It started out completely ironically but it grew on her. She claims that her interest is still only ironic, that is a LIE. She knows everyone's signs and has calculated compatibility.

6: favorite line from this character

"Jellicle cats have *extreme close up* ✨MOONLIT EYES✨"

7: one way in which I relate to this character

According to my irl friends I have a way of speaking in a tone where no one can tell if I'm being sarcastic, which I feel like is a very Cassandra thing.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

Absolutely nothing, everything she does is pure gold

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Problematic fave. She's NOT a cinnamon roll by any means. She's a stone cold bitch and she knows it.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Macavity

(WARNING! Macavity has broken every human law! He broke the law of GRAVITY!)

Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity… except Moriarty, anyway, since Macavity is pretty explicitly based on Holmes’ greatest foe even as far back as the original poem from T. S. Eliot’s Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats. But that’s really neither here nor there. Macavity is the “villain” of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s magnum opus, Cats. Villain is of course in quotations because Cats doesn’t even have a plot, so Macavity is really only a villain in the loosest sense, in that his “The Villain Sucks” song describes him as the ultimate evil cat and he does briefly kidnap Old Deuteronomy.

But no one told Tom Hooper this! When he decided to force a plot into a loosely connected showcase of singing, dancing cats, he also had to turn Macavity into a real antagonist! So how did he handle turning the Napoleon of crime, the fiend in feline shape, the monster of depravity, the one and only Macavity into an actual antagonizing force? And how does he stack up to the Macavity of the stage version (specifically the version from the 1998 film)?

Motivation/Goals: It can be surmised from the song that Macavity really just does what he does for kicks. The guy just revels in being evil, and so the real question is why wouldn’t he commit any given crime? On the stage, the evil we see is limited to kidnapping Old Deuteronomy and getting into a fight, but considering the song that describes him, which may or may not be exaggerated, the guy really gets around (though when you get to the scene of the crime, Macavity’s not there).

In the film, they actually managed to give Macavity a pretty interesting motivation to his constant kidnapping of cats throughout the film: he’s trying to spirit away the other Jellicle candidates so that Old Deuteronomy will have no choice but to let Macavity go to the Heaviside Layer and be reborn into a new life, a life where he will no longer be on wanted posters and can continue his crime spree unhindered. Say what you will about the rest of the alterations, but this is actually a pretty solid motivation.

Performance: Bryn Walters portrays him in the 1998 version, and with his limited time onstage, he manages to make Macavity memorable, though of course most of Macavity’s memorability comes from the song he has no part in. Of course, when Macavity does get his single scene, Walters costume and moves manage to really make Macavity a guy you’re not soon to forget.

In the movie, Macavity is portrayed by everyone’s favorite sexy British black guy, Idris Elba. Unfortunately, he is saddled with a design that makes him look like a nude man despite him having an awesome costume earlier in the film that is ditched later on so that he looks like Elba was streaking across the set, so the sexy is relegated to his voice here. Thankfully, that’s plenty enough, and it is evident Elba is having a blast as Macavity, which is always a plus for a villain no matter how good or bad the film is.

Final Fate: In the stage show, he just kind of vanishes after his battle with Munkustrap. In the movie, he tries to hitch a ride alongside Grizibella to the Heaviside Layer, only to end up stuck atop a statue. Now, you’d think this is stupid, since Macavity has been shown to have the ability to apparate throughout the film, oftentimes accompanied with him saying his own name or otherwise announcing his magical ability, meaning he has no reason to be scared or anxious since he can get out of this situation at anytime. But then you remember that despite everything, and despite the movie’s horrible ability at conveying the fact, Macavity is, in fact, a cat. And a cat would most definitely be an idiot to that degree. I think this might be the only evidence Tom Hooper has ever interacted with a cat for any length of time before.

Best Scene: Obviously his best scene onstage is his only one, since he only shows up once for his fight against Munkustrap, though his presence is foreshadowed many times ahead of the duel.

For the film, though, him joining in at the very end of the song about him is the cherry on top of a fun recontextualization of “Macavity.” Typically, the song is a “The Villain Sucks” song, as Bombalurina isn’t actually evil onstage, making the song an ode to how evil and nasty Macavity is. But in the film, she is unambiguously on his side, making the song an example of her singing his praises and turning the tune into an outright villain song, and Macavity joining in at the end really just ties the whole thing together,.

Best Quote: In the stage version, Macavity actually doesn’t speak, his only vocalizations being evil laughter – though what an evil laugh it is! In the movie, he has a lot of dialogue, but the very best bit he has is him announcing his own name like a Pokemon as he teleports. “Macavity!” I nearly had to pause the movie from laughing so hard.

Final Thoughts & Score: So Macavity is a very interesting villain in that he is just utterly incapable of being boring, though for entirely different reasons that seem baffling when you really think about it. In the stage version, he is barely onstage at all, has a single scene, doesn’t speak or sing… and yet how he’s described, how he looks, and how he moves just really ties him together and makes him into an exciting villain, one deserving of an 8/10. His actions are also the reason we get the wonderful homoeroticism of “Magical Mr. Mistoffelees,” and any villain whose actions lead to a cat prancing about a stage shooting lightning and having extreme amounts of homosexual tension with a swaggering rock star who is doing nothing but singing his praises as he does so is nothing short of amazing,

Then we have movie Macavity. This Macavity has a far stronger motivation, but the film both does and doesn’t handle it well. It kind of suffers because Cats and Macavity once again are not meant to have this sort of heavy narrative; they’re meant to be fun little bits of fluff. And that’s not even getting into how they changed Macavity from a ginger cat to a black and brown cat who, once again, looks more like Idris Elba is nude than anything, and unfortunately it’s really not as sexy as it sounds. Still, the fact Elba is having so much fun, the fact he jumps in on the song “Macavity,” and that kickass outfit he has near the start all really work and keep this Macavity from the bottom of the barrel. Much like the movie, there’s a lot bad with this iteration of the Napoleon of crime, but boy is he still fun and entertaining! That’s a 3/10 if I ever saw one.

All of this just goes to show that Macavity, no matter what way you slice him, is always going to be entertaining. Like, this character is an evil supervillain cat who is behind every single crime, and not only that, has broken every human law as well as the law of gravity! You can have a field day imagining how this cat has pulled off tax fraud, forgery, and genocide and somehow gotten away with it. Even through bad CGI, Macavity’s still there!

I would like to say I am a bit sad we never got the animated version of Cats from Amblimation, because I seriously would have loved to talk about that Macavity too. I mean, look at him!

Weep for what we have lost, because in this case… Macavity’s not there. Though, I will admit, as much as I love this design and how even if I didn’t have the name right there I’d recognize who it is, something is really lost when the character isn’t a man in cat makeup and a costume. Still, I don’t think this Macavity would be anything less than an 8 because Macavity really is just that fun of a character. Even in his worst showings he still manages to entertain and amuse, so I guess it really is true what they say:

There’s no one like Macavity.

[calocera]

SPOILERS FOR CATS 2019, here’s my hot takes and opinions

be warned, THIS IS LOOOONG

First off my overall opinion, i LITERALLY cannot say whether it was good or bad, like lots of critics say it just...is beyond that. It’s VERY fun and that’s all I can bring myself to say, I have LOTS of problems with it but I can’t even say that they make the movie bad. It is definitely worth watching

OPINIONS ON CHARACTERS:

Victoria: she’s good! I appreciate that they kinda left her personality blank other than her innocence since that’s pretty much how she always was, still not super thrilled with her as a main character but franchesca did the best she could

Munkustrap: I loved him! he was more of a main character than I would have expected, but they STILL cut all the charm from his lines... why do I love him then? Robbie fairchild did AMAZING background acting, whenever he was in frame he was always doing something SUPER munkustrap-y and making cute dad faces. he was dealt bad lines but he worked around it best he could. Also his legs were normal so...epic fail

Mistoffelees: 😒😒😒😒😒🤢🤢🤮 disappointed but not at all surprised...he was just a Woobie, a softboy uwu nice guy. I felt like I was seeing fanon 2013 loki in cat form. THEY MADE HIS SONG A SADBOY PITY PARTY SONG...WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THE 11 O’CLOCK NUMBER SLOW AND SAD???? Where is the smug little shit who’s vague and aloof yet confident and joyous? He was murdered by his evil homophobic shadow clone. I’m not even gunna indulge the fact that him and Victoria were a thing, I’ll go over that later. He also just constantly looked like the crying cat meme his eyes were so red and watery it was horrifying, yet somehow he wasn’t the worst character , that leads us too.....

tugger: what.the.fuck.did.you.do.to.this.boy. HE GOT THE TREATMENT I EXPECTED FOR MUNKUSTRAP! HE WAS DEMOTED TO BACKGROUND CHARACTER! not only did he not sing mr. mistoffelees, he literally did nothing other than his song, he never interacted with ANY characters besides jenny in 1 scene. I know cats has no set main characters but he’s undoubtedly one of the most important characters and he’s like...the least important named character in the movie. ALSO Jason Derulo was not sexy at all. There was NO hip thrusting NO sexy meowing NO glamrock, he was just an asshole and if I hadn’t already seen the original I would have either completely forgotten about his character or though he was the worst character. I’m so fucking angy I cannot express.

Girzzabella: ngl I expected better. Her acting was great but with the horrible effects I couldnt get invested but I’ll touch on the effects later. Her singing was good, but I expected it to carry the movie and it wasn’t at all the best song in the movie, I’d say she’s about as good as I expected she’d be but the movie itself was more enjoyable than I expected so she was less significant

Old d: she was fine, she LOOKED the part definitely, she didn’t have as large a presence as ken page but I wouldnt expect that of her. Her singing wasn’t the greatest though, her voice is fine by it’s just NOT suited to old d’s songs. I would have preferred she play a female gus bc her voice is very sweet and frail, not at all built for belting like her songs required.

Macavity: he’s just...eh. He’s basically a comic relief villain which sucks. He does practically nothing besides kidnap people, say a cheesy line, and act like a caricature of a 90s cartoon villain (and not one of the fun ones) like theres a scene where he poofs away and when he does it he goes, MACAvityyyyyyy and fades away its so unintentionally funny but it just makes him so lame as a villain. not to mention he doesnt even die at the end or get any satisfying conclusion he just gets stuck on top of a statue and his powers suddenly stop working (for some reason??)

Bombalurina: fuck that, I am simultaneously glad she only was in the macavity number bc fuck off Taylor Swift but also disappointed bc she deserved so much better.

Bustopher: 😟 never in my darkest nightmares did I think I’d see bustopher Jones deepthroat multiple crayfish but here we are. Somehow THIS was the most sexual song, I cannot begin to name the fetishes checked off by this performance bc itd hit word limit. Let me just say that I said multiple times out loud, “damn bustopher kinda a freak with it 😏😏” like I CANNOT stress how weirdly sexual it gets. And ofc its all otherwise just haha funney fat guy eat food and burp and fall down. He also breaks the fourth wall a few times which like, fuck you

Jenny: exactly what was shown in the trailer. Unfunny fat jokes and slapstick humor. Also they focused WAY too many shots on her cat pussy and I wish I was making that up. Also of note is that the cgi on the rats and cockroaches are drastically worse than the rest of the movie, like not just bad designs the effects are BAD. also they translated they whole gumbie cat fur-shedding as her wearing fake skin over her outfit which would be fine but UHH the fake fur is skin tight??? so it literally looks like shes ripping off her skin and she does it multiple times its fucking terrifying

Mungojerrie and rumpelteazer: meh, they are fine as characters, not quite as energetic as I would have liked but they didn’t massively fuck anything up? The song was horrible, they went against the beat for...some reason? Like it’s a song with a very distinct rhythm and they split up the lyrics so weirdly. I liked that they followed through with the lore of them working for macavity

Skimbleshanks: YES YESSSSSSSSSS HOLY FUCKING SHIT 💗💕💖💞💜😳😳😳😳😳😳😳💜💛🧡💚💖❤️💗 i absolutely CANNOT express how good skimbleshanks made me feel. He looks like a leather daddy with his chains and suspenders and hat and stache, I hate that I’m saying this but uh...mr skimbleshanks sir😳 we were actually screaming it was so fucking good. Watching this movie was worth it just for skimble. Unironically. I’m listening to the song as we speak. It was kinda weird that they moved the tap dancing to this song but that’s more of a detractor from Jennie’s and a plus side to skimbles since it’s good tap

Gus: good! Ian did a good job of course, no one doubted that he would.

Growltiger and griddlebone: not racist but still absolutely horrifying. One of the worst parts of the movie, I actually got squeamish looking at griddlebone a few times that’s how bad she looks

Everyone else: not that good. I couldn’t tell who was who, all their personalities were annoying, I’m on imdb as we speak trying to figure out who even was supposed to be who. Demeter is completely butchered and jemima just isn’t there, doesn’t sing her part, it all sucked man.

Tech talk:

CGI: okay so here’s the thing, the effects are good. GREAT even, the issue is how fucking horrible the designs are. The lack of cat nose, mouth, and hairy cheeks makes them all look disgusting. Also the feet. Holy fuck why do they have feet. THERES A FUCKING SCENE WHERE TUGGER GRABS VICTORIAS FOOT AND SNIFFS IT. IT LASTS LIKE 5 SECONDS. Old Deuteronomy, Gus, and Cassandra (bc she was already bald) are the only characters I’d say look anywhere close to decent, grizabella looks okay in profile but head on it’s all horrible again. its really such a shame bc the sets are gorgeous! i really hope this movie gets some form of recognition for its sets.

the editing and directing was DOGSHITTTTTTT there are SO many scenes where characters just teleport or parts where people are singing and no ones mouths are moving its really distracting

Other things:

it’s OBVIOUS that the critics calling this movie horny have never seen the original. I’d definitely say the movie is LESS HORNY than the play. It IS however waaaaaaay more uncomfortable with its hornieness, so I’d say in that regard YES, the horny stuff is much more gratuitous and off putting despite there being an overall smaller amount than the play. ie everything bustopher jones does

They changed a BUNCH of lyrics for some reason?? Like they cut verses which I understand but there are like a handful of lyrics in almost every song they just...change. like...okay? All changing lyrics is gunna do is make people who knew the songs frustrated when they can’t sing along

the dancing was incredible! shame the cg just fucking invalidates all of it bc your mind doesnt register it as real people doing real moves

OKAY THE FUCKING CATNIP SCENE so when taylor swift showers everyone in catnip they all just fucking start moaning and go FULL HORNY its TOO MUCH like misto full on does an o face like eyes rolled back mouth open  and munkustrap is like ass up panting i still havent processed it im fucking terrified to encounter it again. they cut the orgy? yet added THIS??? k

WHY did they take 2 of the most iconic characters who FREQUENTLY interact and just

a. Never even have them make eye contact

b. Make 1 a background character

c. Completely change the personality of the other one

On the topic of Victoria/misto: I am just still at a loss as to why they thought it’d be a good idea? They completely removed Plato and for what? This? Pathetic. It’s worth noting the weirdly munkustrap has WAYYY more chemistry with both Victoria AND mistoffelees then they did with each other (there’s a part where it looks like misto and munk are about to kiss for some reason?? munk ALSO gets all touchy feely with skimbleshanks???) anyways munkustrap king moments

tldr; its worth watching, the best parts were the sets, the dancing, skimbleshanks, and munkustrp fucking CARRIES the weight of the world with his face acting. the worst things were a big fat tie between bustopher, tugger,misto,jenny,growltiger and griddlebone, and the godawful design choices

[contrite-of-spirit]

 This goes out to all Christians/LGBTQIA+, those who are both or questioning their faith and/or sexual identity --->

Christians: please do NOT demonize LGBTQIA+ and you might find out there are more of them AMONGST YOU. Bible-true and law-conforming ones at that. Ones that really struggle and ones who claim their victory. A prominent example: Coming Out Ministries (srsly, just listen to those guys, especially Michael Carducci)

 https://comingoutministries.org

Don’t be cruel, even inadvertently. Learn correct wording and emotional intelligence!

Love does NOT mean giving up biblical principles! (But more to that later.)

LGBTQIA+: Christians do NOT hate you! Those who yell “God hates f*gs” are not proper Christians. Having same-sex attraction is not a sin, questioning your gender is not a sin!

Yes, Christians might say things that sound offensive (sadly, they often do not know how to phrase correctly!), but hear me out:

God (via the Bible) has forbidden humans to dress up as the opposit sex or have intercourse with persons of their same sex - this is about behaviour, not sexual or gender identity! - because it is something He dislikes. (Leviticus 20:13, Deuteronomy 22:5) That is, believers, because unbelievers do not obey Him anyway.

In our worldview, biological sex and gender belong together... Because that’s how we were first made. (Genesis 5:2) The Bible does not differentiate. But the world has been corrupted in many ways and the things happening to our minds and bodies are still VALID, they just aren’t part of the original design.

But why do Christians even care what God likes or dislikes?

Because this, too, is a relationship. This is love on a completely different level and it is real!

Speaking as both a Bible-true Christian and a part of the LGBTQIA+ community (biromantic, everything else too difficult to pinpoint briefly):

You can come out and say you are gay, lesbian, trans. Asexuals are fighting for recognition (cheers to @steblynkaagain​ for educating me!) There are different romantic orientations, too... People can be part of a poly triad (or more) and it becomes gradually acceptable. And within this relationships, various preferences, kinks and fetishes can be experienced without people necessarily being shamed for it (BDSM? Furries? Anything really?)

All I (and many Christians) say is WE LOVE GOD. We are in a CONSENSUAL relationship with Him and thus CHOOSE to conform to His law (take into account that this is our omniscient Creator who knows what is best for us!) “But isn´t this toxic and abusive?” A partner pressuring an asexual to have sex is abusive. An asexual choosing to have sex because he isn’t repulsed by the idea and values his partner enough? Not abusive, nope.

"In that day," declares the LORD, "you will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master.' - Hosea 2:6

When a Christian says “homosexuality is sin”, what people often understand is “I hate you, burn in hell”. What they really meant though is “It is not lawful for me to perform homosexual behaviour, because I am (first and foremost) in a relationship with a God who wouldn’t like it! And I value this relationship over all other possible partners.” It goes far enough that a Christian might cancel an otherwise lawful relationship when it interferes with his faith (e.g. partnership with God). 

The same goes for questioning/denying one’s gender, as it happened with me, because of the common understanding of performing femininity... And then willingly embracing the truest, original design of womanhood. It is not about make-up or skirts (although they make me feel more conventionally feminine, almost like I am crossdressing back?? To my God-intended gender??) but about the little quirks and abilities I can try to make the best of. I am not forced to do this; I found the perfect blueprint for my life from this very point on and the Source of unending strength to fulfill it.

And watching immodest action everywhere on TV and on the streets at times? Complaining about people around showing too much skin? Well if for a person with trauma, seeing explicite sex in a movie can cause great discomfort and even flashbacks, it should clearly be respected. If a person is uncomfortable because they have the principles of God engrained in their mind by years of relationship? Nope, I was forced to watch stuff like American Pie (as a teen, in class, no option to leave) when I was nowhere near ready and the exposure is getting worse as years pass. (Thankful for every accurately tagged post, guys!) Respect asexuality, but also respect the modest and/or celibate by choice, I beg you! Being modest can be consensual.

LGBTQIA+ includes every kind of love, and loving God is not a reason for exclusion. ”You need to be liberated!” (read: fixed) No one does. Or: “You are Christian, so you hate gays!” Oh, dear, no.

The Christian, if emotionally mature, should and will not undertake the attempt to change your opinion right away. 

He non-conform, he use the right addressing form, but most importantly, he inform. That’s literally our life goal (Matthew 28:19)

The only thing I personally do experience towards openly LGBTQIA+ people is the same as towards any person I meet: love, acceptance and a hope they will one day:

learn to know the awesome person that God is

and join our giant platonic polycule family that is church

...but a gal can hope, right?

“The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. “  - Zephaniah 3:17

In that vein of thought, Happy Pride Month.

[soldrawss]

Don't read unless you have watched the new episode. But the whole time I watched it I was thinking how it pretty wild that your comic and the episode are basically the same.

 OK I HAVE FINALLY WATCHED THE EPISODE AND BOY WHOO HOO HOWDY I’M GONNA INCLUDE MY THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I KNOW A FEW OTHERS HAVE YET TO SEE IT AS WELL AND I DON’T WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING BUT WHOO LETS GO BABES

SO first off I’m just gonna say that I LOVED the episode. Really and truly honestly I did.  I don’t think there were any major things that I didn’t like tbh. It was such a truthfully wholesome episode. And I’m actually happy with the amount of screen time we got with Scrooge and his insight with Christmas. 

HOWEVER. I wish it was a 45-minute special. Because I think we could have absolutely dived MUCH deeper into the relationship between 1) Younger Donald and Dewey and 2) (the most important) DONALD AND DELLA. I mean like HOLY SHIT. I have to collect my thoughts together really quick cause I’m gonna explode just going on about the sibling relationship going on there so let me backtrack really quick and start from the beginning.

First and foremost. The set up to the episode was great. The kids getting ready for Christmas. Webby’s little hug to Huey and Huey’s patient little smile back to her. Louie’s X-mas list and his “let me explain”, like yes my son, own it. Donald being his best dad self, decorating and STILL playing guitar and singing awful carols at the top of his lungs like, we stan a good good duck dad!!! Literally, everyone is top notch just being great! 

Then we get to plot. The ghosts are back in town. And they’re ready to get down and dirty and party and I LIVE for the idea that they were originally looking for a different Scrooge and that OUR Scrooge actually LOVES Christmas (And I’m so glad that we still don’t know why Scrooge has beef with Santa cause like, that’s potential for future X-Mas episodes and I’m all about having more mysteries to look forward to alright?) So we get it. Party on Scrooge lets go back in time!!!

So we’re 12 minutes in, more Scrooge stuff happens (Which I adore. Love that they brought back Goldy. Love that Young Scrooge is so passive about seeing Old Scrooge. LOVE that BEAKLY fucking FLIRTS with the GRIM REAPER SKJD;S GET IT GIRL LOVE THAT) And super double plot twist is that little jimmy cricket over here is actually like, kinda evil? Well not evil, but he’s a little-twisted buddy, which isn’t his fault, but he just wants to party and feels like everyone abandons him when once they find the true meaning of Christmas (being with family) Which Scrooge does. Which also, can we appreciate how fast it takes for Scrooge to be like, yeah I’m bored of this adventure stuff, can I just go home to my family now? It may have just been the episode time frame but IDK man, I feel like he’s growing from once being bitter to becoming that good old family man again. Good, good old man, I love him. 

ANYWAY- NOW LETS GET DOWN TO THE JUICY HALF OF THE EPISODE AND THE HALF THE EVERYONE WANTS MORE OF INCLUDING MYSELF

OK So here we see Dewey hitch a ride on grims cloak and fall into let’s say around 25+ years in the past. The FIRST thing I noticed and the first shot we get is a mere parallel to the one we see when Scrooge first falls in the past. Its a shot of the mansion. But as opposed to the shot where Scrooge falls during a Christmas where his mansion is LIT the fuck up with lights and sounds and color and LIFE, Dewey sees it dark and practically dead, but still recognizably the Mc’Duck Mansion. One of the next shots we see takes place inside, and we see the mansion (remember this duck is a billionaire) with the wallpaper peeling and the walls cracking and hardly lit and it looks absolutely deserted and kinda uncared for which BREAKS MY HEART OK!!! 

(But I’m so glad I at least got the scene right where Dewey’s first interaction with Donald is through his music and that Dewey could guess it was Donald through his Voice™!!! Also, should have thought of Bluey. That was SO much better than Deuteronomy. But oh well! Got the fake family part right! And the fact that Donald knew she was out back looking fo Santa and was trying to catch Santa for Scrooge. That last part wasn’t in the comic, but that was going to be the original idea for part 4 and FUCK YEAH I WAS ON A ROLL)

And ohhhh when Donald says this is the most confusing family! Ouufff that hit me so hard!!! Cause like, honestly, in canon, Donald is SO proud of his heritage and family line. He’s the only Disney character to really even HAVE a family tree, are you kidding me?

Also Dewey just Yeeting himself out a window with Donald’s guitar as Leverage was such a good idea I wish I would have thought of it and I’m SO ANGRY that I didn’t but I guess if I had then technically I would have been a mind reader or actually stealing from the show so good job me for NOT doing that but I at least got them Escaping out the window part down so WOOP FOR that!

ALSO DONALD JUST STRAIGHT UP LICKING THE TREE! WONDERFUL GOOD BOY AND LIKE!!! AND LIKE!!! OK I kinda played around with the idea that Donald kinda just does stuff without explanation and when someone asks we gives off these weird oneliners that don’t really answer the question of WHY he did/was doing the thing in the first place is something I absolutely live for and both his interactions within my comic and in the show are so parallel with one another that I’m actually mind freaked right now I want to scream I fucking love these kids ok?!?!?

So I could probably live for the next 30 years off of just Dewey and Donald just talking to each other like, it was probably only 40 seconds of conversation, but I lived for every second like it was the only thing that mattered!!! Just Dewey being so Hecking Excited to learn more about Della from someone willing to talk to him without any trauma™ and I LOVED how Donald never outrightly admitted that Della wasn’t Amazing or Awesome (Dewey said it at least twice when referring to Della) and just changed the subject. Like, true sibling love. (I would have also accepted if he had called her a nerd or a geek or something similar because they are siblings after all, like jeezus the whole episode was mostly about their fight like, anything is great, give me them sibling dynamics)

OK AND THEN THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

DELLA MY SWEET BABY GIRL APPEARS AND SHE IS MY EVERYTHING

OK honestly I was gonna draw her with a bit more messy hair but OTHERWISE SHE’S PERFECT. AND HER’S AND DONALDS IMMEDIATE BICKERING IS MY FAVORITE EVER. (And tbh her reaction to them NOT being Santa clause and honestly that entire net scene was also gonna be my reaction so don’t be surprised when you see that in upcoming continuation of my comic) (Also her calling Dewey a Dummy, is ACE)

So their whole fight scene going on. The whole Dumbella incident. You can just FEEL the sibling energy off of it. I ate that shit up SO FAST. I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. (I WANT SO MUCH MORE OF THAT STUFF PLEASE DT CREW GIVE US A FLASHBACK EPISODE OF THE COUSINS I NEEEEEEED IT) If you’ve ever had a sibling then you KNOW. You know that look when Della got when Donald called her Dumbella. The No, not until you apologize she gave back. The FOR WHAT?? The endless back and forth that would have continued onward for a LONG time if they weren’t in impending doom. Man that’s the shit right there. That’s really all I wanted I could have had a full 45 minutes of just THAT right there. Just these kids being siblings.

(Also, Donald outing himself about the toothbrush and combat boots, he’s so gonna pay for that later I can feel it in my bones and I live for these moments kids)

AND THEN WE GET THE FIRST HEARTBREAKER OF THE NIGHT FOLKS, when Dewey figures out why Della’s so peeved at Donald (rightfully so) and it’s just!!! It’s just so good that all Della really wanted was to spend time with Donald and make a memory of it and catch Santa together and folks I would be lying to you and to God and to our Lord and savior Carl Barks if I said that I didn’t cry, these siblings are so good. (And the fact that Dewey also made a quick connection to himself, like, ohhh yeah I need to also be better and apologize to MY family and give MY Donald a hug when I get home)

NOW SHIT GETS REAL!!! The way Donald and Della land after getting free from the net. These kids were BORN for adventuring. This isn’t their first rodeo and this is what I want to see more of!!! Donald and Della as the fighting duo!!! (Dewey totally face planted my smol blue bean I love you) Della gets into fighting position ready to go, and Donald flips his hair back outta the way like so cool and nonchalantly LIKE DREAM TEAM SO COOL I LOVE THEEEEEMMMM!!! aND THEN when they find out the Wendigo is after Scrooge, They’re all like, “of, yeah, duh, Its always scrooge,” and then IMMEDIATELY GO AFTER HIM IN PERFECT FIGHTING SYNC LIKE THESE ARE 10-YEAR-OLDS AND THEY FIGHT LIKE THEY HAVE BEEN FIGHTING ON SCROOGE’S BEHALF FOR YEARS AND IM!!! (there’s so much fanfic potential here i’m screaming) And Dewey’s kinda just standing back like, Woah nelly, CAUSE LOOK AT THESE DUCK CHILDREN GO!!! LOOK AT MY LITTLE FIGHTING REBEL KIDS I ;KLD’KLASJ’F I LOVE THEM!!!

(Also, shout out to the last episode, in which we see that Donald kept the broken guitar under hammock all those years, he never could manage to through the thing away, i love this temperamental kid so much guys i’m crying again) But I’m glad we got to see Wee angry Donald!!! That was a fun thing I’m glad they put that in!!!

And now for the final! I’M glad Donald apologized rightly and straight away and wholeheartedly! That’s the good boy I know and Love! And Dewey going in for the hug!!! So sweet!!! But also!!! Della like, immediately figuring out that Dewey was from the future, I kinda like that! I wasn’t going to do it, but I like it! Love how smart she is and just how nonchalant they both are about it cause hey, have you MET their family? I like how they say Ducks, too. Not Mc’Ducks. Like, Scrooge is Weird and they do all sorts of crazy stuff with him, but you haven’t SEEN crazy till you’ve met the hick side of the family.

And then it’s like, just like that, they’re gone! And ouufff boy that was not the goodbye I was expecting but sometimes goodbyes are like that and that’s ok and I respect the out the DT crew took cause it flowed so nicely and well but boy did it hurt. (Can you imagine Donald and Della coming back with THEN Scrooge with this whole explanation to find nothing there and Scrooge being like???? Ack you kids leave me alone I hate Christmas as it is I don’t need you all playing tricks on me with fake Wendigos and family members from the futures when I have important things to do bah humbug or something and Donald and Della just have to live with this knowledge but at least they have each other and are closer for the better!!!) Because then Scrooge was there and THEN DEWEY WAS CRYING AND THERE’S JUST SO MANY EMOTIONS CAN YOU IMAGINE ALL THE EMOTIONS THIS KID IS GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW AND HE JUST WANTS TO GO HOME AND SEE HIS UNCLE DONALD AND BROTHERS AND WEBBY AND JUST BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS AND ACK.

AND GOSH WAS THE DONALD DEWEY HUG JUST SO GOOD AS WELL AS THE DOGPILE LITERALLY GIVE ME ALL THE HUGS, I WANT THEM ALL THIS IS SUCH A WHOLE GOOD EPISODE!!! All in all, 10/10 Was very good. Could I have loved more of just about EVERYTHING? yes, but I can make my own content if I need to fulfill my wishes. Overall, there was nothing that disappointed me, which was so good. I wasn’t let down by the interpretations of the characters, the morals, or how the storyline went. Could we have made it into a 45-minute episode and just like, extended every conversation? Yes. But plot? Solid. Characters? Solid. Relations? Super solid. Did Sol cry? She did and she will again cause she just loves these good characters so hecking much!!! Donald is my all time favorite Disney character on the planet and just the fact that he gets so much love and attention and just all the beautiful backstory and rick history is such a beautiful gift that just keeps on giving! 

Also, FULL Disclosure, Im gonna continue part 3, 4 and 5 of my version of how I thought this episode was gonna go. Simply because, well, I liked it. And I think you all will like it to.  

[dailyaudiobible]

04/09/2019 DAB Transcript

Deuteronomy 33:1-29, Luke 13:1-21, Psalms 78:65-72, Proverbs 12:25

Today is April 9th. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I'm Brian. It’s great to be here with you. It's always…it’s always great to just est. I don't know, just imagine ourselves around the roaring global campfire. I can see it vividly in my mind. There’s a roaring campfire and there's people around it, people coming in, people going out and it's warm and it’s safe and it’s serene and we come in and we warm ourselves and we visit in community and then we go back into our lives always knowing that we’ll return here. It's a beautiful thing to be going through the Scriptures in community with you. And, so we’re here to take that next step forward, which will take us back to the book of Deuteronomy. And if I’m not mistaken we’ll be concluding the book of Deuteronomy tomorrow. But today from the New International Version, Deuteronomy chapter 33.

Commentary:

Alright. So, in the gospel of Luke today we covered some different territory. Jesus commented on a number of things. The first of the things were some of the events that had been kinda going viral, had been kinda being talked about and spread around. So, an incident where some Galileans were killed in the temple complex and that desecrated the temple causing all kinds of unrest. For the Romans, these people would've been, you know, they would've been targeted and taken out, probably because they were suspected or had been known to create unrest for the Empire. Of course, for those in the temple and those were fellow Hebrews this would've been just like a political assassination. So, of course, it was being talked about. And then there was a tower in Jerusalem that fell down and 18 people died. So, these kinds of things, we understand, they would make the news. And as I've said in years gone by, like the first one would've made international news probably. Whereas as the second one would be more of a local tragedy. Nevertheless, this is what got people talking and what Jesus conclusion was is that it wasn't these people’s specific sin that caused this tragedy to come upon them. Everyone is headed toward the same place and if we don’t keep our eyes on our own lives then we will all perish as well. And the one thing that we can for sure take away from this is that all of the things that God gets blamed for, especially in tragedies like this that we see around the world doesn't mean that God did it. So, here's God in the person of Jesus commenting on these things saying, “is it because they were greater sinners that this happened? No, I tell you know”, that's what Jesus said, “but unless you repent you too will all perish.” And then in the next scene Jesus is found again healing on the Sabbath. And…ahhh…you can just see the synagogue leader getting up after a miraculous healing has taken place and his response to the people in the synagogue is, “there are six days to get healed. Don't come and try to do this on the Sabbath.” It's discouraging. And Jesus…and Jesus spoke up…”you hypocrites”, right? “You hypocrites. Are we seriously having this conversation? This woman is a sister. She's a daughter of Abraham. She's been bound for 18 years by the devil. She shouldn't be free? She shouldn’t be free right now?” Of course, we can see this and we can shake our heads and say that Jesus was in the right totally and we can see the hypocrisy as we read the story, but the hypocrisy resides in each of us every time we try to shut down whatever God might be doing because he might be doing it against the rules that we think that we understand or that He might be doing something in a way that we don't understand. We can get just like the synagogue leader. So, it's important for us to not condemn the Pharisees and the synagogue leaders and the scribes and the religious leaders until we examine our own lives for the same kind of behavior and then do something about it. And then lastly Jesus is asking the question, “how do I describe what the kingdom of God is like?” That is such an important question, right? Because we’re continually talking about the kingdom of God, His kingdom and how we’re a part of that kingdom and how His kingdom will rule and reign. I mean, we talk about the kingdom a lot in our faith. Here's Jesus saying. “How do I describe what it's like.” So, what it's like is something that we should know. In these two examples Jesus says it's like…it's like a mustard seed or it's like yeast mixed in with flour. So, in the case of the mustard seed, it's a small seeing that expands and grows and flourishes and spreads out to the point that even birds can sit in its branches. It was just this little thing that began to grow slowly and spread out or in the case of the yeast it's a small thing put into a large amount of flour, but it changes the flour profoundly as it's made into bread that makes it rise. It's small but it changes everything. It mixes in and changes the consistency of everything. So, if we say we are a part of this kingdom, we are a member of this kingdom then that's what our lives should be doing too, right? It’s a small thing that changes the consistency of everything, changes the outcome of everything. Our very presence is bringing the very presence of God into every situation, unless we’re suppressing that and participating in the evil of darkness. But this is what we’re supposed to be doing, changing the atmosphere, changing the consistency and outcome of everything.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word and we thank You for the things that we've been given to consider from Your own lips Jesus in the Gospel of Luke today. We ask that Your Holy Spirit come and plant these things in our lives. Show us how it is that we are a part of Your kingdom. Are we living as You've described? And if the answer is an honest no then we humbly repent ask You to show us, order our lives appropriately so that we can actively, vigilantly participate in what You are doing in this world at this time. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, its where you find out what's up, what’s going on around here. So, be sure to stay tuned and connected to what's going on around here.

You can stay connected on social media by visiting the community section at dailyaudiobible.com. All the links to the different channels are there. So, stay connected that way. The Prayer Wall is at dailyaudiobible.com as well. If you need prayer or you want to pray for your brothers and sisters, this is a great and immediate way to do that. Of course, all these things are also available in the app, in the Daily Audio Bible app, you just push the Drawer button in the upper left-hand corner.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible in the shared mission that we have to bring the spoken word of God read fresh every day and offered freely to the world to anyone who will listen to it anywhere on this planet anytime, of day or night and to keep the building community around that rhythm so that we know were not in this journey alone ever. If that brings life to you, then thank you for your partnership. So, there's a link on the homepage. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for You here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi Daily Audio Bible listeners, this is Deep Thoughts Lisa from Marino and this is my first time calling and I’ve been a member for about three years now. I actually went to Israel with the 2016 crew and…ahhh…if you’re new to the community, awesome! Welcome! We love you, we love growing the kingdom. This podcast has blessed me so much and just…I listen every day but I don’t’ always get through all the prayer requests but I do…I’ve started listening to them recently and I’ve just been really encouraged. I have so much to say in two minutes and it’s really hard and I just…I’m sitting in my car and I was like I need to call, I need to call and get the community to pray. I’m picking up my 68-year-old aunt who is totally devastated and falling apart. My cousin, her son, Tony we’re going to his court case today to see him sentenced. We’ve both written letters to the judge in support of him and tryied to explain some of his background but he’s just had these demons and it’s such a sad story of how he ended up here, but he is capable of being there for the family and when he is it’s awesome. So, I just lift up Tony and Linda my cousin and aunt and I just ask you guys to pray over them and cover them shalom because maybe, you know, God’s plan is always true and always can work out for good. So, maybe he’s supposed to be there to meet the people that’ll change his life around and give him hope because he hasn’t been walking with the Lord. He’s been angry at God for a long time. And, so, Lord I know he’s scared, his mother is scared, and I just ask all of the DABbers to lift up Tony today. It is April the 4th. And, so, thank you. I know this won’t get played until a few days later but thank you anyway. Lift him up, whatever happens. We praise you Jesus and we thank you for this podcast. Jill and Brian you’re amazing!

Hello Daily Audio Bible this is Rebecca from Michigan and it’s April 4th and I think I had another God moment, not so much witnessing to people, but you know what, I talk to God like I talk to you guys or people. I have conversations with Him and the other day I was saying, “God, I know you’re the live God, I know I have the right God, you’re the one that’s alive in me and you don’t discriminate against me because I’m a women or a man and I ask you to show me how alive you are.” And I remember before I got this place I had this vision of myself sitting up on the balcony playing my instrument. And you know what, I pick through these prayer journals once in a while and I found this old one from March 2013, me praying to be in this place. And back in November I didn’t know if I was gonna get this place or not and I was like, wow, I got God’s supernatural favor. That was so awesome. So, you know, that helped me with my relationship with the Lord because it brings up my spirit, brings up my faith in Him, and made me realize, you know what, He’s got my back, He’s got me covered. So, I’ve been praying for my student loan and car and I know I’m running this in the ground. So, I’ve been asking Him for extra income, ways I can make income to pay them off because, like the Bible says, a borrower is a slave to the lender. I don’t want to be a slave to them no more. I want some freedom, so I can help other people out or do things for other people besides myself. But it’s like you’re all into yourself because you’re trying to get these bills paid off and you’re trying to take care of yourself. So, I know God has my back. I know God can supply all my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. He’s a live God, He’s well and alive…

Hi there, Daily Audio Bible family, this is John from Pennsylvania. I hope you’re doing well. Family, please join me in prayer for my good friend Chris who is really, really in need of prayer after receiving some news from his best friend at his wife Leslie was admitted to hospice due to cancer. Father God, thank You so much for Chris and for his heart Father God for having him reach out to me Father to pray along with him and ask for prayer. And Father, if he could hold it together long enough he would call in to the DAB prayer line like I’m doing. So, Father I’m calling on his behalf and I am in agreement with everything that he’s pray for Father God, that report that they received, although to our years in this world is devastating Father, You are the victory in everything Father God, that Your report is the final report. Father at this time I ask You to please a hedge of protection around Chris and his wife, around Leslie, Leslie and her husband Father God. We ask You to be with them and guide them and give them wisdom and discernment and patience and encourage and understanding Father God, to be at peace with You and use this as an opportunity to lean into You, to draw closer to You, to get further and deeper into relationship. Father I thank You for the heart of these people that know You, that love You, that do Your will. Father, we don’t understand, we can’t possibly understand Your ways. Our view is myopic Father God but Yours is over everything. We trust You and we believe in You. Thank You, Jesus. Come Spirit we pray in Your name. Amen.

Hi dear family, I’m Jehoshan and I have been a listener for almost 5 years now. I’m one of those hundreds of people if not thousands who keep praying for everyone but never called in. Today I’m calling in as I have been elated to call and share my thoughts for very long time. More and more people are suffering with depression and suicidal thoughts. And at an age of 19 I learned that there is a limit for everybody’s love and that includes my parents. And, so, I tried committing suicide. Long story short, I am in my 30s now and I know today that everything that happened to me God had a plan all the way. It’s just that I never understood. He has the power to bring great things out of nothing all you gotta do is to believe and rely on him. The next time you are depressed, ask this question - why am I depressed? Often it is nothing but Satan making you feel unworthy. So, go out and enjoy the beautiful world God has created for us. If there is a reason for you to be depressed, then ask the second question - is there something you do about it? If there’s nothing you can do about it just sit back and relax. Let God do the battle for you. And if there is something you can do about it, just follow what God has told us to do and follow that. In all that you do, never complain. As Brian once said, be just like the baby who doesn’t care how it is gonna get fed but it knows that things are going to be feeding it. And I am the most unworthy of everybody. If God can save me He can save you. So just stay there, hang in there, and praise Him.

[quranreadalong]

#150, Surah 28

THE QURAN READ-ALONG: DAY 150

Most of today continues Mohammed’s stale-ass rants towards the Meccans, but there is a bit of the Moses story that’s in here, too. It’s a new story we haven’t seen before!

There are around 20 ayat left in the surah, so we’ll see if we can finish it up today. 28:68 is our starting point. Allah does what he wants and no one can do anything about it, also polytheism is bad. Sure! Allah knows everyone’s thoughts and is godlike in general; there are no other gods besides him. Sure x2!!

Allah made the day and night so people could sleep (and also be grateful towards him). If they are not grateful, you already know what the fuck is going on:

And on the Day when He shall call unto them and say: Where are My partners whom ye pretended?

He will call witnesses from among the believers to prove their disbelief, and their fake gods won’t be able to help them. Interestingly enough, this rant concludes without the usual “and then he’ll throw them into The Fire” part, so it can stay neutral along with the rest.

Right! After that brief polytheists-suck digression, we’re back to Moses in 28:76. Let me allow Mohammed to introduce the next story:

Now Korah was of Moses' folk, but he oppressed them; and We gave him so much treasure that the stores thereof would verily have been a burden for a troop of mighty men.

Korah here is a character from the Book of Numbers. He, along with two other guys named Dathan and Abiram, rises up in rebellion against Moses during the Hebrews’ long journey. They are dissatisfied with the whole wandering-the-desert thing.

Is it a small thing that thou hast brought us up out of a land that floweth with milk and honey, to kill us in the wilderness, except thou make thyself altogether a prince over us? Moreover thou hast not brought us into a land that floweth with milk and honey, or given us inheritance of fields and vineyards: wilt thou put out the eyes of these men?

To punish them for their transgression and ensure that Moses faced no further dissent, YHWH pulled them “down alive into the pit, and the earth closed upon them”; their followers are burned alive by YHWH.

The Quran’s story is somewhat different. Korah, we are told, is some rich asshole who is told to share the wealth that Allah gave him (that one is actually good!), but refuses to do so, believing the wealth to be his and his alone. While some of the Hebrews are jealous of Korah’s good fortune, the wiser ones know that Korah will soon be punished. (That one is also good because it has a good Muslims go to heaven part in it.) The story concludes the same way:

So We caused the earth to swallow him and his dwelling-place.

Honestly, idk if I should classify this as neutral or bad. Korah’s crime was, like, refusing to be charitable. Seems a bit harsh, but w/e. The following ayah, which states that “the disbelievers never prosper”, is bad tho.

Anyway, let’s look at this a bit further. Where did Mohammed get the idea that Korah was a rich jackass instead of just some guy who wanted to rebel against Moses? Well I do believe it is time to bring out that good-ass Talmudic shit again fam!

With regard to the verse: “Wealth is kept for the owner to his detriment” (Ecclesiastes 5:12), Reish Lakish says: This is referring to the wealth of Korah, which was of no use to him. The fact that Korah was wealthy is derived from the verse: “And all the substance that was at their feet” (Deuteronomy 11:6), as Rabbi Elazar says: This is referring to a person’s property, which stands him on his feet. And Rabbi Levi says: The keys alone to Korah’s treasury were a burden requiring three hundred white mules to transport them, and moreover, all the keys [aklidei] and locks were of leather. This conveys the vastness of his wealth.

There is nothing in the Bible that states that Korah was wealthy, but as we can see, rabbinical writers connected Korah to an unrelated verse in the Book of Ecclesiastes to make him out to be rich--so rich that, according to Jewish tradition, his treasures required entire troops to transport them, which is what 28:76 also says. So I guess that settles that matter. Where did Mohammed get the story of Korah from? Non-Biblical Jewish tradition. Fair enough!

The surah’s conclusion begins with a brief but welcome good Muslims go to jannah section, saying that those of them who do good deeds will be rewarded, which is always good. Following that is an ayah that declares that Allah will lead Mohammed and his people “home”, which means Mecca. This one part is from the Medina days, I guess.

Mohammed can’t resist one last shitty bad parting shot, telling people to never be supporters of disbelievers in 28:86. The word there is zahiran, supporter, not our usual buddy wali/auliya.

Finally, stop being polytheists, for the love of fuck. The end.

The Quran Read-Along: Day 150

Ayat: 21

Good: 4 (28:77, 28:80, 28:83-84)

Neutral: 15 (28:68-76, 28:78-79, 28:81, 28:85, 28:87-88)

Bad: 2 (28:82, 28:86)

Kuffar hell counter: 0

⇚ previous day | next day ⇛

[literarygoon]

“This is how you talk to strangers”

by Will Johnson, originally published in Prairiefire

I’ve been reading the King James Bible lately. I like it so far. Sometimes I sit cross-legged on my roof, smoking cigarettes and flipping through Genesis, Exodus, Deuteronomy. I haven’t even made it to the New Testament. My favorite book so far is Ecclesiastes. Here’s this guy Solomon with nine hundred wives who can’t even sort his shit out. Everything is meaningless. It’s pretty bleak stuff. Actually, that’s what Hemingway named The Sun Also Rises after, a passage from Ecclesiastes. I read that book about three times a year. If those two were alive, I bet they would be fun to drink with. It would be one of those nights where you end up flipping over a table for no reason. The kind of night where you wake up the next morning and you feel totally humiliated in front of no one but yourself.

I grew up in Labrador City, the Iron Ore Capital of Canada. I was a pretty happy kid, actually. My mother loved us and my father made enough money, which is more or less all you need when you’re little. One day I was sitting on this pier with my two older brothers and this seagull started to pick on a smaller one. It pecked at it viciously and fluffed up its feathers and squawked. We all rooted for the smaller gull, even though it was destined to lose over and over again. My brothers kept throwing them French fries to fight over. Eventually the smaller bird just flew away. I don’t know why I remember that. 

Isn’t the mind terrible?

I never knew how isolated I was until I left. The first time I drove into Toronto I felt like someone was sitting on my face. So many people everywhere. I’ve done a lot of traveling in the last few years—Chicago, New York, Montreal, Winnipeg, Edmonton, Whitehorse, Vancouver, Tofino—but I never really get used to it. Walking on a sidewalk is a contact sport. In the bar everyone looks like a Viking except for me. I didn’t know how I was ever supposed to meet a girl. Shit, I don’t know how anyone ever meets anyone. It seems so illogical. I dare you to go three or four days without talking to anyone. Consider it a spiritual exercise that leads you nowhere worthwhile. Drive around to random cities, listen to On The Road on audiotape, smoke cigarettes and start thinking about everything that’s wrong with you. Seriously, try it. See what you think.

A few years ago I was walking around Charlottetown, just hating my life, and I was looking at this KFC sign. I thought wow, someone’s responsible for making that. I could never make anything nearly as beautiful. If everyone in the world had my drive, we would be living like hobos. I can’t even parallel park.

The greatest moment in life is when a woman lifts her hips, just slightly, to let you pull off her pants. Like this is really happening to me. The second greatest moment is when your car is all packed with everything you own, and you know you’ve got a lot of driving ahead of you, but at the other end is a job. Last year I was sleeping on my brother’s couch and I had been drunk for an entire month. It was time to move on—I was starting to get the distinct impression that his girlfriend didn’t like me very much. As I was pulling out of the driveway my brother ran after me, and when he came up to me in the street I thought he would say something like it’s been good or good luck with the job, man but instead he just wanted to bum a smoke. I gave him my whole pack because I had no idea when I would see him again. He punched me in the shoulder and it was the first time in a long time anyone had touched me.

I got a job as a sports reporter in the Yukon. Every day I go out to these sporting events. Baseball games and track meets and hockey tournaments. I take pictures and I interview people and I doubt they even really notice. I’m just some guy with a tape recorder and they don’t know anything about me. Their bodies are terrifying. They wear tight spandex or bathing suits and they look superhuman. Most of the time I just want to ask them why? Or maybe how? They drink protein shakes and they bike a hundred kilometers a day or they hike to beautiful places I’ll never see. They’re so fucking healthy it gives me the shakes. I covered a 3-day canoe and kayak race, and this guy told me he wears a catheter so he doesn’t have to stop to pee. I wrote a story about it and thought this is it, the end of journalism as we know it. But no one reads the newspaper anyway. And if they do, nobody cares about the fucking sports section.

My favorite song is “Take it Easy” by the Eagles. One time I listened to it fifty times in a row, while I was driving through the Rocky Mountains. I never get sick of it.

I’m terrified of death. Nobody likes it, sure, but sometimes I sit at my desk at work and all of the sudden my fingers don’t work and I can’t function. No matter how much I hate breathing, I don’t think I could ever convince myself to die. Because I don’t know what’s next. My older brother Trent is religious, and he worked for years as a youth pastor at this church out West. That seemed to make him feel better about things, but none of that ever rubbed off on me. Sometimes I think I’ll end up as one of those empty-eyed senior citizens relegated to their wheelchairs. I’ll have friendly foreign nurses that feed me yogurt and give me drugs. They’ll push me to the window so I can look outside. That sounds pretty good to me.

This guy at the newspaper told me to watch Cool Hand Luke. So I did. Firstly, I don’t think there has ever been a more sublimely beautiful human specimen than Paul Newman. His eyes look supernatural. Secondly—damn, is that movie depressing. Not because he dies. More because I’m never going to be that cool. Sometimes nothing is a pretty cool hand. I wish I had that attitude. When Luke’s getting the shit kicked out of him by Dragline, he never gives up. He just keeps swinging. One punch and I would be curled in the fetal position, probably peeing my pants and begging him to stop. I really am useless. Believe me. I’m incapable of honest labour. Most of the time I feel lucky I wasn’t born fifty years ago during any of the big wars. I would have been drafted right away and I wouldn’t have lasted a week. I watch these war movies like Saving Private Ryan and I thank an imaginary God that I’ve never had to pick up a gun. My greatest hardship in life has been living on cereal for a week. Or running out of clean laundry.

My second favorite song is “Flowers on the Wall” by the Statler Brothers.

I met this girl Megan in the steam room at the pool. She was doing yoga on the tiled floor with a pool mat and I was trying not to be a creep. But she was contorting her body into these ridiculous positions that made her muscles bulge and flatten in strange places. I watched the rivulets of sweat. They drew jagged lines down her stomach and dripped off the end of her nose. Sometimes I would wait, holding my breath, while one dangled. Her face was pink and the blond hair that escaped from her ponytail would stick to her forehead and cheeks. She had these elaborate flower tattoos that encircled her arms, purple and yellow and red. The vines were ropy and twisted in chaotic patterns behind the petals. We were the only two people in the steam room but I’m pretty sure she didn’t even know I was there. Her eyes were closed and she took the most relaxed, sensual breaths. It was beautiful. Finally I said something. I asked her if there were any good yoga places in town. Her eyes fluttered open. I said I’d always wanted to learn about yoga, which is probably the biggest lie I told that day. She looked at me, squirted some water into her mouth, and smiled. She said yeah, I teach twice a week at a studio in Whitehorse. You should come out.

Every now and then I realize I have a mother. My mother is a nice lady. And she loves me. If she really knew how I was living my life, I think she would have a heart attack. She’s proud of me for getting a job, but she doesn’t really know me anymore. I wish she did.

My attempts at yoga were pitiful. I spent the whole time wishing I could smoke a cigarette. I’ve never been so uncomfortable in my life. But afterwards, after I had a shower and rolled up my brand new yoga mat, Megan asked me if I wanted to go for beer. I though to myself this is it, this is how you talk to strangers and I said sure, yeah. We walked through the snow to the bar. We sat for two hours and whenever I said something funny she would touch my leg under the table. We bought a six-pack from off sales and walked down to the Yukon River. It was starting to get cold. She told me a bunch of personal shit about her life, but really I wasn’t listening to her words. I was watching the way she laughed, the way she moved her hands, the way her breath hung in a cloud and slowly drifted away.

I was covering this downhill bike race later that week when I broke my collarbone. It was my own fault. I was perched on the side of the trail taking photos, and I was trying to get a follow-focus shot. But everything kept coming out blurry. It was muddy and I was hung over, and as I whipped my camera along with the motion of a passing biker I fell down this embankment. It fucking hurt. I mean, I tumbled and rolled and knocked my head against a tree root. I’m lucky I didn’t break my goddamn spine. My publisher was annoyed and the paper was short-staffed, but it meant I got to sit at home and drink for a few weeks. I felt like Bukowski.

I often fantasize about being productive. I see people jogging around Whitehorse or going grocery shopping and I wonder where they get the energy. One day I want to write a novel, but I can barely convince myself to walk to the gas station for cigarettes. The first time I read The Rum Diary by Hunter S. Thompson I was so relieved. I’m not the only one. I mean, it’s not Tolstoy or Dostoevsky but here’s a person who thinks the world is as absurd and terrifying as I do, and he can actually write something half-decent. When I’m bored I Google stories about Thompson. I rented a documentary about Gonzo journalism from the library. One day I read his suicide note, just because I was curious what was going through his head when he pulled the trigger. Apparently they published it in Rolling Stone. The title keeps repeating in my head, like a mantra: Football season is over.

Megan came over a few times while I was convalescing. She made me a meatloaf and I ate it for every meal, three days in a row. I felt awkward around her. I tried to hide my empties and clean up my house before she showed up, but I didn’t have a phone so most of the time she just appeared unannounced. She was usually in a yoga outfit or her karate clothes. I sat on the couch with her one day and I asked her about the tattoos on her forearms. She looked really sad for a moment, and then she pulled the skin tight in places to show me her scars. They were methodical, horizontal stripes. I wanted to die for a long time, she said. But I didn’t want anybody to know.

By the time my collarbone healed, it was starting to get dark. It scared the shit out of me. Don’t listen to the people who live here. The Yukon is a scary place in the winter. The snow blankets everything and it’s freezing cold and all of a sudden leaving the house is like living in a Jack London short story. Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well. The reporters made fun of me when I showed up to work wearing a parka, but I needed that fur against my face while I smoked cigarettes in the parking lot. Megan was starting to sleep over, and I liked watching her muscular back rise and fall while she snored. I couldn’t believe I’d convinced someone to sleep in my bed.

She showed up at my house crying one night. I tried to talk to her but she just cried into my chest for ten minutes. Finally, when I asked her what was wrong, she said its nothing, you’ll think its stupid. I told her no, of course I won’t think it’s stupid and then she drew her head back and looked at me. There was a huge pink pimple between her eyebrows. I have a bindi, she said. I have a fucking bindi. I usually tuned her out when she started talking about all that eastern mysticism stuff. She tried to convince me to read the Bhagavad Gītā but it just stayed on my bedside table. Whenever she talked about her spiritual beliefs it sounded like she was regurgitating these antiquated phrases she had learned in yoga school, or wherever. I didn’t want to seem insensitive, though, so I listened. She told me she was scared the universe was telling her something. She said the universe gave me a bindi to send me a message.

My favorite poem for a long time was Invictus by William Earnest Henley. I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. But then Clint Eastwood took the title and turned it into a goddamn rugby movie.

I was covering this karate competition one weekend when a guy came up and shook my hand. I didn’t recognize him. He said his name was Eiji Matsumoto, and told me he was Megan’s karate instructor. What a cool name. She’s a very gifted student, he said. I nodded like this was something I had given some thought. I realized that we had been dating for months and I had never seen her fight. I had abandoned yoga after a second try. It made me feel like a bad person, knowing there was this huge part of her life I didn’t know anything about. This guy Eiji was easily a foot taller than me. He looked like he could lift me up and break me in half over his knee. He had the most luscious brown skin and beautiful dark eyes. It made my balls shrivel up into little prunes. Suddenly I wanted to shave.

It was a Thursday morning when I crashed my car. My windshield wipers weren’t working and I was trying to light a cigarette and all of a sudden this truck was stopped in front of me and I swerved off the road. I remember hurtling along. The whole car was shaking and I was wrenching the wheel around like a goddamn child playing with a video game and then I was upside down. One of my windows shattered and glass was everywhere and then everything stopped. All I could see was white, stretching out as far as I could see. People were calling out to me hey, hey are you all right in there? Are you okay? I thought about that bible verse where Jesus says he’ll come like a thief in the night. Some blood was drooling up my nose and I realized I was suspended over the ground, held by my seatbelt. I don’t know where my cigarette ended up.

My older brother Trent was arrested a few years ago. They found child pornography on his computer, and there were rumors he even molested some kids at the church he worked at. I didn’t know how to respond to that information. I still don’t.

For a week after that Megan drove me to work and back. She seemed really impatient, so I tried to spend time with my friend from the newspaper. We sat in the bar and drank too many beers. He kept saying embarrassing things to the waitress, and then we started arguing about Hemingway. He was saying Hemingway would drink beer and I told him no, Hemingway liked drinking Mojitos and bagged wine. We did some whiskey shots and then went out in the snow for a bit. I wanted to go down to the Yukon River, but my friend said it was too cold. We finally wandered into this dingy pub on Fourth Street, and the first thing I saw was Megan. She was sitting with her back to me, having dinner with Eiji. Eiji Matsumoto. My friend said what’s wrong and I said nothing, let’s just get out of here.

Whenever I’m feeling sorry for myself, I think do you know how old the universe is?

My father called me around that time. My mother was in the hospital in Winnipeg and he wanted to buy me a plane ticket. We don’t know how serious it is, he said, but she would like you to be there. I told him I would need a couple of days to arrange things with work, and he said that would be okay. I thought about Hemingway and Thompson, each of them perched over their shotguns. It seems cruel that not everyone gets to choose when they’ll die. My father told me my brother was already driving out from Edmonton with his girlfriend. The others were coming out from Halifax. He told me my mother had been sick for a while, but he didn’t want to worry me. I wandered around the twilight streets and I tried not to think about how fucking scared I was of everything. Relax ­– this won’t hurt.

You don’t really know much about yourself until you try to share space with a woman. Megan complained about crumbs on the counter, my unmade bed and how I always left empty packs of cigarettes everywhere. She kept pestering me to quit, and even convinced me to try the nicotine patch. She played this weird, mystical music and she meditated in our living room when I wanted to watch TV. I felt like Neal Cassady, always hiding things from his wife. I hadn’t brought up seeing her with Eiji because I didn’t want to be that guy. I’m not the jealous type. I kind of liked to see her angry, though. She never seemed like she was in control of her actions, and her moods would jackknife back and forth. One night, while we were having sex, she slapped me. Then she slapped me again. It turned me on so much she just kept slapping me until she was clawing at my chest and pulling my hair. The only ones for me are the mad ones.

I often wonder what would have happened if I never saw Eiji kiss my girlfriend. It was midday and they were coming out of a sushi place on Main Street. I had just bought a magazine and I was standing across the street smoking a cigarette when they emerged, pulling on their jackets. He leaned over and kissed her on the lips. It looked like a goddamn coffee commercial, like there should be music playing or something. I don’t remember crossing the street. I don’t even remember what I screamed at him. Maybe I took a swing, maybe I didn’t. All I remember was the way he looked as he reared back and kicked me square in the sternum. I flew backwards like you see in movies. My lungs felt like they were going to collapse. I was laying on my back on the sidewalk, struggling to breathe and panting when he leaned over me. Football season is over. I looked up at him and Megan while I lay there in the slush. I think I need to go to the hospital, I said. I think I’m really hurt. Help me.

I got drunk on the plane to Winnipeg. They just kept bringing me gin and tonics. I brought the King James Bible with me, but it was starting to lose my interest. Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away. The New Testament sounds too much like those corny televangelists. I’m not too keen on Jesus, either. But there’s a poetry there, like Shakespeare. By the time we touched down the words were starting to mix together on the page. When the stewardess came to check our seatbelts I held out my empty cup. One more?

My father picked me up from the airport. It was the first time I noticed the deep wrinkles around his eyes. His handshake almost crushed my fingers. We drove through the grey streets for nearly an hour before we got to the hospital. I asked him if Trent was going to be there, and he reminded me that Trent was in prison and probably would be for a long time. We barely spoke after that. I didn’t even really recognize him anymore, and I didn’t know what I was supposed to say. Neither did he, I guess. What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. He led me up the stairs, someone gave me a coffee, and then I was standing in the room with her. Machines were beeping at me and she looked so small. I came to the side of my mother’s bed and her eyes fluttered open. It’s you, she said. It’s my son.

You can’t go long in the Yukon without hearing a Robert Service poem. They’ve got him painted on walls. They teach him in elementary schools. Sometimes you’ll walk into a bookstore and someone will be reciting his poems over the loudspeakers. There are strange things done in the midnight sun by the men that moil for gold. The first time I visited Dawson City, I went to the bank where he used to work. It’s right on the main drag, just a stone’s throw from the river, this saggy, dilapidated eyesore. One night I saw kids break into it to get drunk. I peeked in the windows and inside it looks like a warzone. There are spider webs clinging to the heaps of garbage on the floor. I hear there’s talk of restoring it, maybe building a heritage site, but chances are they’ll just eventually tear it down.

My mother reached out to me with these wrinkled hands. A long tube trailed out from her wrist. She touched my face and then she held my neck. I thought she might cry, but she didn’t. I leaned down and kissed her. She smelled like cleaning products. I wanted to tell her all my stories. I wanted her to pull me into her lap and rock me while I fell asleep. I thought about this time, when I was a little kid. My brothers had gone on a trip with my father and left me home sick for the weekend. She took me to the new shopping mall in Labrador City to see a movie. Afterwards we walked through these towering empty halls like we were in a cathedral. She bought me a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and a cinnamon bun. She told me this is our little secret. Don’t tell your brothers or they’ll be jealous. On the way home I fell asleep in the passenger seat.

Do you know how old the universe is?

My mother was discharged a few days later. I went back to work. Megan had already moved her stuff out of my basement suite. The snow was starting to melt, finally. Most days I sat at my desk and listed to John Prine or Willie Nelson. I stood on the sidelines of soccer games. I took pictures of people playing hockey. It cost me an entire paycheck to get my car fixed, so for two weeks I ate nothing but microwave popcorn and scrambled eggs. The sun also rises, and the sun goes down, and hurries to its place where it rises. On the weekends I walked down to the Yukon River and watched the ice slide into the water. One afternoon a giant chunk tumbled down the riverbank. 

It flowed slowly downstream until I couldn’t see it anymore.

The Literary Goon

[scorpiofangirl1109]

Here's a question! I'm not sure if you've ever said this before, but who are your top 5 favourite CATS characters? I'm curious! 💖💖

oof that is a great question! let me answer your question! it might be long! and this is in no particular order either!

(and a lot of my favorites have connections to my OC Kiki lol)

1. Munkustrap 

I just love the calm energy Munkustrap brings to the show and he was the first character I fell in love with. Honestly one of the things I love the most about Munkustrap is how you can tell he really does care for the other members of the Jellicle tribe. You can see it through the way he interacts with others and it warms my heart seeing how gentle he is with the kittens as well! Plus he makes such a great protector for the tribe because he cares about them so much, This is partly why I made my OC Kiki his daughter as I feel he would be the most caring dad in the world and love his kittens unconditionally no matter what happens and always support Kiki. He’d just want what was best for her. 

2. Demeter 

I love my girl Demeter so much! She is one of my favorite characters just because she really has such a great presence on stage and I love her voice. And I just think she is such a wonderful character. I particularly love her in The Gumbie Cat song and she has great vocals. Plus she is half of one of my favorite ships. I also see her as a caring individual and although she is very skittish and on edge a lot of the time she does care for others. And I thought because she would be mates with Munksutrap that she would take on a motherly role to Kiki and although she would be unsure at first, it wouldn’t be long before she viewed Kiki as her child. 

3. Rum Tum Tugger

I mean it is pretty hard to dislike Tugger! When I first started to get into Cats, The Rum Tum Tugger is the first song that I actually really listened to. (on constant loop) and I started to fall in love from there! I love how he always makes a big presence when he is in a scene and I like his cool guy person. But I also like he has that side to him that comes out with Old Deuteronomy and a few other jellicles that he does have a softer side and does have great respect for some others. Plus he is the ultimate hypeman in Mr. Mistoffelees! And as I was developing Kiki I always thought about how Rum Tum Tugger would be that fun uncle to Kiki, he’d call her kiddo, spoil her a bit, always sneak her little treats and surprises when Munkustrap isn’t looking always telling Kiki not to tell her dad 

4. Bombalurina 

Bombalurina is another one of my favorites. First of all, she and Demeter are amazing in the Macavity number and this is where Bombalurina really shines for me with the performance she gives here.  Another aspect I enjoy is her relationship with Demeter, it is obvious in the show that the two of them are close with one another one. I personally headcanon them as sisters and I really love them together. But also I love the teasing Bombalurina and Tugger during his song. The girl really is into him and you gotta love how Tugger acts like a total player around her. Overall, bombalurina is just a great character and I love her so much. And with Kiki she’d be a cool aunt figure to her and Kiki would adore Bomba so much. 

5. Mistoffelees

Ok last and certainly not least I love Mistoffelees. One of the main reasons I love Mistoffelees is because he is such an amazing dancer. I used to dance for a while and quit dancing once I graduated high school a few years ago. and Mistoffelees always brings back memories of dance for me. Plus I just love his sass, I mean you’ve got him calling Tugger a terrible bore which always makes me chuckle. Plus there are also other little sassy moments. And Mr. Mistoffelees was the second song from Cats I fell in love with. Plus I just love the ship of Tugger and Mistoffelees so much! And I think Kiki, like her uncle Tugger would be in awe of Mistoffelees’ magic and she would be so happy for Tugger and Mistoffelees when they get together

Anyways that was  A LOT longer than I intended. hope you enjoyed it and that answered your question! 

[austinpanda]

Dad Letter 060720

7 June, 2020

Dear Dad--

Another week full of stuff has happened! Last night we had our first thunderstorm here since Zach and I moved to Maine. We literally had not heard thunder since we left Texas, about nine months ago. It still scares the cat; thunder causes him to go sit nervously in the meatloaf position someplace behind a big piece of furniture. I forgot how much I like the sound of thunder! Also the rain helped clean my car.

I’m having an interesting experiment in sleeping! I’ve been taking an antidepressant called Mirtazipine, and while it doesn’t do shit for my depression, it helps me fall asleep, and sleep through the night. Recently I ran out of it! But I decided to try living without it, to see how I liked it. Now I’m back to my usual routine: takes longer to fall asleep, I wake up more often, get back to sleep less easily, and wake up a lot earlier. You know, it doesn’t help that the stupid sky starts to get bright when it’s 3:30 in the stupid morning here! When you experience the longest days of summer in Maine, those days are really, really long. When the Summer Solstice happens--on the 20th, I think--the days will start slowly shortening again. It’s weird, though! You’ll wake up, and it’ll be broad, eye-burning daylight outside, and you look at the clock, and it’s still 4:45 a.m.

Other stuff that is happening: I’ve been working on a quest in a video game for weeks and weeks now, and the game just fucked me on my quest. Now it’s going to take weeks and weeks to be able to try again. (Why would you do me that way, video game?) But that’s a very first-world problem, and I’m going to try to keep it in perspective. The game just made me do something that’s going to make me have to play a lot more of the game in the future, and...yeah, I should expect that’s exactly what the game makers wanted to happen, the fuckers. It’s a really good game (Animal Crossing).

Not much new in the bird world, although this morning it seems to be all about starlings. I see adults with their adolescents. One adult keeps picking up chunks of suet and trying to head-butt the stuff into its kid’s mouth, with varying degrees of success. We had three chipmunks visit at one time yesterday! Since I named the first one Old Deuteronomy, we just refer to the chipmunks as “doots”. Yesterday we experienced a rare triple doot! Also, one or two of the chipmunks don’t run away from me any more. I went outside to toss birdseed around yesterday, and there was a chipmunk, and I kept throwing seeds closer and closer to it, and it just kept ignoring me. Finally I took a big handful of birdseed and gently threw it right on the chipmunk’s head, and it STILL IGNORED ME. (I could hear Zach snicker at me through the open window; he’d been watching.) I guess it was enjoying whatever it was finding on the ground. Brazen little bastard.

They’re adorable. We’re trying to learn to identify the individuals, but, you know, they’re chipmunks. They all look substantially the same. Perhaps if we put a big colored tag in its ear. Then I’d have to buy some chipmunk ear tags, plus whatever you use to give ear piercings to rodents. The main reason I’m calling them “doots,” however, is because my brain has a hard time coming up with the word “chipmunk.” Every single time. The first name that comes up is, “Muskrat,” which is wrong. Then, “Meerkat,” which is equally wrong, then “Mongoose,” and then eventually I get to “Chipmunk.” I assume this is proof that I’m galloping towards senility at a good pace.

We’ve been trying for months now to obtain a new kitten, and it seems our efforts may finally be paying off. We’ve been watching Blackie, the poorly-named village whore of a kitty who’s been pregnant. I let a couple of weeks go by without checking in with Clint, who’s taking care of her, and when I checked in, he let me know she’s already had the kittens. And this is the third time a cat has had kittens under the floor of his house, so the plan has already formed, all by itself. For the time being, Blackie is coming out for food, then going back under Clint’s trailer to nurse them. When the little kitties are ready to step outside and start learning how to be cats, they’ll do so. That’s when we know it’s safe to snatch one and start what will probably be six months of continuous “Awwwww!” noises.

We have big plans for the new kitty, mostly as they relate to how he’ll adjust to living with Samuel L. Jackson, and vice versa. We want them to like each other, and they’ll probably start out severely NOT liking each other. Our plan is to wait until both kitties are asleep and then sort of smush them together. We have high hopes of eventually getting mauled by one or both of them.

Oh, I had another adventure with radios recently. One of the nicest gifts Zach ever got me was something called a Tivoli Model Three. I’ll include a picture of one. A Tivoli Model One is just a really nice radio in a wooden case, with a big dial, and a nice speaker. They’re handsome, sound good, and can last a lifetime. A Model Three is just a Model One, but with a clock in the front, and a snooze button, so you can use it as a clock radio. My clock stopped working! It made me temporarily sad, because it’s supposed to last a lifetime, and my clock stopped working. But because it’s such a nice (and expensive) radio, I considered looking on the internet to see if there was anyone who could repair it.

Of course there was! I found a place called RockportRadio.com, and they specialize in Tivoli radios, and can fix just about anything. Many people feel that the wee light that shines over the face of the clock is too bright, and these guys can actually make it dimmer for $30. Anyway, I emailed them and said my clock didn’t work, and it made me sad. They pointed something out to me: there’s a battery compartment, and if there’s no battery in there, the clock won’t go. For some reason, everything having to do with setting the clock and, you know, KEEPING TIME, runs entirely off the battery. Somewhere back a few months ago, I’d simply removed the battery, perhaps when we were moving here, and I didn’t learn the clock wasn’t working until much later, so I never associated the two. I put in a battery and it works fine now. I emailed the guy back and thanked him for saving me some money.

I think of you every day! Stay safe, stay indoors, and paint something! All my love to you both :D

[placetobenation]

Dir: Tom Hooper. 

Cast: Robbie Fairchild, Judi Dench, Idris Elba, James Corden, Jennifer Hudson, Taylor Swift. 

With CATS finally being available on digital platforms – I think it only right to discuss it at this time. I remember right before the pandemic, this movie was all people were talking about it and it was not good news. 

It’s not that director Tom Hooper is bad. He is quite good. I loved The King’s Speech with Collin Firth and Geoffrey Rush. It was a remarkable movie filled with heart and charm. Things made sense and it even had great instances of humor. 

I also loved Tom Hooper’s take on the classic Les Miserable with Hugh Jackman, Anne Hathaway and Amanda Seyfried. The movie had stirring musical performances, and won over most audiences. The film garnished 7 Oscar nominations including Best Picture. 

So Tom Hooper is not entirely clueless as a Director by any means. His films are usually rock solid with a lot of personality – and sense – until this. 

I don’t know what happened, but somewhere along the way Tom Hooper thought he had a severe problem with CATS. I don’t know who convinced him of this – but it seems like he was up against the wall and was trying to come up with ways to fix it. 

Well fixed it he did not, but make it worse, he did. We all know CATS is grounded in a simple poem by TS Elliot. He just mentions the type of cats that are in this town in England, and Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber set music to it, and here we are. The show has won Tony Awards here in America and Laurence Olivier Awards over in England. So clearly it must have been doing something right. 

After 18 years, and over 7,000 performances, I guess Tom Hooper thought it needed a change. I mean, why leave a classic alone if you can re-write it and make it your own. 

So Tom Hooper casted celebrities for this production, probably mistake number one. CATS is not strong on story, it is strong in dance and in music. One can almost call it a modern ballet of sorts. Well guess what, Taylor Swift, Idris Elba, Judi Dench, James Corden, Rebel Wilson and Jennifer Hudson are not professional dancers. So that puts the film at a disadvantage right away. 

Turns out they all can sing, well, good enough anyway, for this production – but dancers and graceful movers, they are not. I think the big difference between this flop and the success of Les Miserable is that Le Mis is built like a movie with a story and strong characters and the backdrop of war and love won and lost. 

CATS is just about cats. That’s it. It’s a dance, even the main plot point is called The Jellicle Ball. CATS is about personal movement, dance, interpretation. Move like a cat, act like a cat, dance with grace like a cat and sing your song. That actually is the storyline – they all have to perform for Old Deuteronomy and get judged by him/her as to who gets to go to the Heavyside Layer – which is like Heaven and get reincarnated. 

Old Deuteronomy was an old man for 20 years of the production, but Hooper made him Judi Dench. No big deal – except you have Ian McKellen playing Gus The Theater Cat, right beside her and you’re thinking – I think those two should have switched roles.

Also when you see Rebel Wilson, you cringe. Her jokes do not work at all, and the same goes for James Corden who is just having too much fun to care about anything. Taylor Swift sings one of the good songs, but who cares – this is not The Voice or American Idol. We need dancers, not celebrity singers.

The big song from CATS is Memories – and it is sung by Grizabella. Now here’s another huge mistake. Grizabella is an old cat, a female cat, a cat well past her prime with a shabby coat that could not shine again no matter how much you brushed it. Director Tom Hooper chose Jennifer Hudson for this role. Jennifer not only is way too young to play a washed up cat, she has no pain in her eyes, no age, no regret, but she also can’t dance. So that’s two things she can’t bring to the role, but we all know she can sing very well. Again, for this, it’s not enough. 

Now let’s talk story – in CATS, there is none. Like I said it’s just a bunch of cats singing songs about themselves. That didn’t sit right with Hooper I guess. He wrote in some stuff that makes no sense, but no one has every accused him of being a writer. 

One of the cats, Macavity, played by Idris Elba, somehow attains magical powers. Now in the play – he is just your average mischievous cat who causes trouble and disappears. Well now he is a cat who can transport himself anywhere in the world and bring other cats along with him. Why? We don’t know. How? We don’t know. 

Macavity then decides to go ahead and kidnap every cat auditioning for the Heavyside Layer and chain them up at a dock on the Thames River. This way, he thinks, he’ll be the only cat left to choose!! 

So cats start to go missing – something brand new to this production, and are literally chained up at a dock on the Thames River. Now Magical Mr. Mistoffelees, who is really supposed to have magic – doesn’t. So when the other cats ask him to magically bring back the hostages, it is a surprise and a revelation the he is able to do it. 

Oh and the most ridiculous thing in the film, and there are quite a few, is Rebel Wilson simply unzipping her fur, to get out of the chains. Who knew?!? Cats have zippers!! 

The sets here are truly wonderful and poetic, the costumes look amazing on the cast. I bet those are two things the theatre production wish they had. 

The problems though, are with the wires in the dance acts, and the size of the cats. Sometimes the cats look the correct size – other times they look no bigger than a mouse. The stair case scene is the most ridiculous. The cast looks lost on this huge staircase as if cats never climbed stairs before. So the film has some practical issues, but even worse are the wire issues. 

CATS is known for it’s dancing and it’s gracefulness, but Director Hooper decided to use wires in his dance numbers and it makes every single dancer look clumsy and stupid. The jumping, the floating across the floor, the high jumps, the ridiculous jumps – all of it, you can tell they were wire stunts and it looked extremely unnatural and off-putting. 

The dance is the strongest suit for a project like CATS and the wire stunts ruins all of it. Every single bit. So you have no great dancers, no great dance numbers, wonderful celebrities who can sing and a weird story that makes no sense. 

This movie would have been magnificent if they let a choreographer direct it and stuck with the original story, but I’m afraid Tom Hooper wanted more, overreached, and as talented as he is, was just not the right guy. 

[ramblian]

the cats and their treatment by the 2019 movie version

misto: NERFED. they NERFED HIM. took my flamboyant gay teen son and made him insecure straight nice guy... tragedy strikes

rum tum tugger: largely deleted (disgusting). removed his part from old deuteronomy’s song, didn’t get to sing misto’s song, the only performing cat not to be kidnapped by macavity. Where Was He

munkustrap: honestly could have been a good munkustrap i think if i could see past the cgi (which for some reason looks worse on him than others to me) and the general changes i don’t like much. would love to see robbie fairchild play munk in a stage production

victoria: promoted to main character. the actress was fine, the character stayed more or less the same as the musical except she ate jemima’s character 

bombalurina: SLANDER. deleted her almost entirely except for having her show up for a minute to work for macavity and drug the other cats... bomba would NEVER.  where was her protective relationship with demeter and sexual tension with tugger? oh right they also got mostly erased

demeter: if she was there, she sure as hell wasn’t important. didn’t get to do a goddamn thing. i assume there was a background cat based on her but i honestly don’t know

old deuteronomy: slightly less fun? also unfortunately the singing wasn’t great bc it’s Hard to really sing at that age and old deut requires strong vocals. But she was trans, and that was great. unfortunately deleted her 9-99 wives.

gus: growltiger was made a whole separate character, which is weird, but i don’t mind cutting the song bc it’s p racist and usually gets cut anyway. got to sing his whole song but felt less emotional to me. sexual tension with deut? why

jellylorum: deleted again. didn’t show up w/ gus at all or get to sing any of his song

jennyanydots: ohhh my god ohh my god oh my GOD. took this neat tough-love mom figure and just replaced her with rebel wilson playing herself. ate and terrorized the cockroaches and mice instead of teaching/training them. fat jokes galore. translated the shedding of her big greyish coat as her taking off her fur to reveal a dress with more fur underneath. terrible. character defamation

skimbleshanks: the only character i think really translated well. i actually enjoyed his song. i dont know why they added so much tap dancing but i’ll accept it

bustopher jones: i’m about to write a cease and desist letter. removed all of his dignity and reduced him to rummaging around in trash cans. More offensive fat jokes. didnt seem nearly as respected by the others

mungojerrie and rumpleteazer: their design changed for some reason and i don’t like having them work with macavity against the jellicles but their song was still fun and they were largely unchanged

macavity: given a bigger role and actual motivation, which is maybe good but mostly disappointing. changed his design entirely. not nearly as chaotic as the stage version

plato, tumblebrutus, and pouncival: i think either not in it or just in the background bc i sure as hell can’t remember them

jemima: deleted and absorbed into victoria’s character

grizabella: not bad. gave her an explicit past with macavity, which was nice. ofc jennifer hudson was great. didn’t look old or raggedy enough though. also the characters really did seem more like they didn’t like her and less like they felt threatened by her like in the stage version

[live4yahushua-blog]

Amightywind prophecy #97

Prophecy 97 The Wildfire in Africa Will Continue!

Written/Spoken under the anointing of the RUACH ha KODESH

through Apostle Elisabeth Elijah (Elisheva Eliyahu)

Received May 9, 2008

Released June 3, 2008

This is from Prophecy 105, YAHUVEH said to put this up on all Prophecies from now on: I warned you a long time ago Elisabeth (Elisheva) not to name this Ministry after a man or a woman even before there was a Ministry. I put it in your spirit for none of this has been done by your hand, none of this has come forth from your mouth. It is from the Mouth of YAHUVEH that has given birth. It is from the Mouth of YAHUSHUA your MASHIACH that has given birth. It is from the Mouth of the RUACH ha KODESH your IMMAYAH that has given birth. If it had only been by your hand it would have failed long ago. It is by the SHKHINYAH GLORY’S Wind that blows across this earth, the Holy Wind of Revival, it is not by your breath or it would have failed. (Isaiah 42:8)

In July 2010 YAHUVEH GOD also said to add the following from 2nd Chronicles before every Prophecy:

2 Chronicles 36:16, “But they mocked the Messengers of GOD, despised HIS Words, and scoffed at HIS Prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against HIS people, till there was no remedy.”

* * * * * * *

Word regarding Nico Arnold

Brief explanation about who Nico Arnold is:

Nico Arnold wrote this Ministry the end of January 2007 and offered his services with the Ministry websites. He said he was a believer and was learning the truths at Amightywind. We were hesitant to let Nico work on the sites because we did not have a clue who he really was, so we took it to prayer and YAH told us that we could trust him. So Nico started working with our Web Manager Coenrad in South Africa. Nico is a computer web designer and he was chosen by YAH to re-design the almightywind ministry site.

Nico and Coenrad put a website together and put it on the internet in South Africa which promoted and was linked to the Amightywind Ministry site but now Nico has taken the South African site down when he could not convince Coenrad to leave this Ministry. Nico also did a preliminary design for the almightywind site and we gave him some changes that needed to be made to the new design but he never finished the job he was given.

He started going to websites that are enemies of the truth and this ministry and even though he knew this ministry teaches nothing but the truth, he let the enemy in and that opened the door to many other demonic spirits that attacked him and now he IS an enemy of the truth and this ministry.

A few months ago Nico emailed us and said he no longer had time to do the new ministry site. In fact here is his last 2 emails to us.

Nico Arnold wrote at the end of December 2007.

Hello Katherine; How are you doing? I hope that everything is going exceotinonaly (exceptionally) well over there. I am on holiday at the moment and not online as much as I use to so sorry for this late reply. Would you and all the demon stompers please excuse me from this prayer group, I have a new business venture going on and I can not commit to my full hour per day. I would still keep all of you in my prayers though. Thank you for everything you guys has tought (taught) me and for the revelations that has been brought to me via this ministry and the prophecies. I hope that we will all be meeting one day soon in heaven and that the Lord Yahweh will bless you all graciously!!

All the best in Yahishau’s (YAHUSHUA’s) name! Your friend Nico Arnold

Katherine wrote him back this email.

—– Original Message —– From: Katherine To: Nico Arnold Sent: Friday, December 28, 2007 8:13 PM Subject: Re: new word from MOMMA

Hi Nico, Thanks for updating me on things with you. Are you still working on almightywind? I remember reading a Prophetic Word that said you were as a “midwife” there, with the website and the new allmightywind website. But I never heard back from you re what you thought of that. Does that mean you don’t take on that role as “midwife” over the websites? Please let me know. You know you don’t have to pray 1 hour, it can be less if you still want to commit to praying for the ministry. Please pray about it and let me know what you decide. YAHUVEH bless and guide you.

In YAHUSHUA’s Love, Katherineyah

This was Nico’s last email and the last time we ever heard from him.

Hello Katherine; Unfortunately it also means that I would not be able to complete this website as originally promised. When I commited for this design I was in the position to be able to do it but now, over a year later, I am not that flexible in my time anymore. Sorry for any inconveniences I have caused. I think it would be best anyway to get someone that can sit next to you personally while a design is being done to avoid misunderstandings on the expectations of the design.

Your friend in Christ Nico

We knew when we received this last email from Nico Arnold that there was alot more to what he was saying and he was NOT telling us the truth regarding why he was no longer going to do what he was called to do by YAHUVEH. We were going to email him and tell him we knew there was more to his decision than his new job but [we never did get around to email him. As you will see we never said anything to Nico, yet he could not leave this ministry alone and has tried to lead our web manager astray.

Now, this all leads up to this email that we just received from Coenrad, which said this.

Hi Katherineyah

I would like to tell you about Nico Arnold. He contacted me and asked me if I want to meet with him to drink a cup of coffee and just chat a bit. I was very sceptical and I asked YAH many times if this was the right thing for me to do. A few days later I felt that YAH wanted me to meet with Nico.

So we met at coffee shop and I thought he just wanted to talk about everyday things. But as soon as we sat in the chairs he took out his laptop and started preaching to me, telling me that I should leave the almightywind ministry, because nothing being said on there is the truth. I then tried to connect to the net, but I think YAHUSHUA didn’t want him to connect at that time. After trying more than 10 times, he got so frustrated and his face turned red. He wanted to show me a website which he was studying. I was shocked to hear what he had to say. He doesn’t believe that there will be 2 witnesses one day, he doesn’t believe that there will be a great tribulation one day. He doesn’t believe that the RUACH ha KODESH (Our Precious Beloved IMMAYAH SHKHINYAH GLORY) is feminine. He doesn’t believe the rapture of the Bride..I was shocked beyond words.

Then I opened my bible and I started showing him scripture that these things will come to pass. I tried reasoning with everything I showed him. I asked MOMMA to guide me. Later on I could but only laugh at his “facts” explanations. He got so frustrated that he ran out of the coffee shop. The next day he send me an sms, telling me that if I do not want to believe what he was telling me that he will shut down a website we started together. It’s a South African website, on which I tell people of the soon coming of YAHUSHUA for HIS Bride and I added many links of Amightywind to that site. Unfortunately the website was hosted on one of his own web servers. So he changed all the usernames and passwords. And later on he deleted everything. I can see that he has been taken over by some e-v-i-l s-p-i-r-i-t-s.

Afterwards I realized that it was YAHUSHUA’s will that the website was closed.

I have learned so much from the Almightywind ministry and it is a privilege to be part of your special team!! Thank you all! You are my true family! Praise YAHUSHUA!!!

Blessings in the Name of YAHUSHUA!! Regards Coenrad

There you have it folks. That is what happened to Nico Arnold. It seems like it never fails, those who were once partners in this ministry and then become a Judas always seem to get hit with the spirit of insanity and try to destroy this Ministry and now Nico Arnold is hit with it too. Here is the Word given to Nico Arnold.

* * * * * * *

YAHUVEH Speaks:

The wildfire must continue MY Children. Relight the torch in Africa. The enemy thinks he silenced that voice. But the African site shall go back up! For it is a branch of this Ministry.

Tell Coenrad to search out the ISP at a reasonable price. But what is the price of a soul? Why do you think satan had the one I told you that you could once trust, Elisabeth [Elisheva]—why hy do you think satan mocks and put evil in his soul? But the voice in Africa shall only speak louder! The Prophecies will be like a wildfire revival for it has already begun. This is why satan used Nico Arnold to silence that voice. But it shall not be silent for long.

I allowed this so Coenrad would have no doubt of the evil spirit within Nico Arnold. I allowed this because evil can never touch this Ministry in any way. And as long as Nico Arnold is full of satan’s spirit he cannot have access to this Ministry in this way. He is as a man that’s gone insane. For you cannot touch nor to try to destroy anything that is Holy, anybody, any Ministry, when you are full of evil for that which they seek to destruct they only reap destruction. Now he has reaped destruction upon himself. Instead of blessings you once prayed over him. Now he shall walk in the Deuteronomy 28 curses of YAHUVEH. Instead of having a sound mind, now he has received the lying and deceiving spirit, that drives him on to insanity. Look on him no more as a man you once knew.

Beware! Beware! Beware! To anyone who seeks to destroy, tear down that which is Holy, and this Ministry is not of you, it is not named for you [Elisabeth (Elisheva)], does not lift you up, so when they attack this Ministry, they attack I, YAHUVEH, MY SON YAHUSHUA THE MASHIACH and your IMMAYAH (RUACH ha KODESH), MY SHKHINYAH. They attack the Aleph and the Tav. He is hell bent to destroy what I have decreed brings ME much Praise, Honor and Glory! So Nico Arnold you shall reap your reward. MY Children, the evil grow more evil but the Holy cling to ME. The Holy who strive to obey each Word I say and their hearts only belong to ME. They are as a lighthouse guiding the ship so they do not crash and I place these lighthouses as branches of this Ministry speaking forth these Truths in parts of the world that you know not of for it only takes one and it doesn’t take a building for you are the temple of the RUACH ha KODESH.

But one cannot just have the Holy Fire, one cannot just have the Truth for as they take the Truths from this Ministry, there is a driving force from Heaven that compels to share that light with everyone. They can no longer keep silent than you can keep silent for truly it is Holy Fire shut up within their bones and the Prophecies are like a golden chain and it wraps around this world to bind the enemies for it is the Truth, the knowledge of the Truth that sets the captives free when it brings all Praise, Honor and Glory to MY Son YAHUSHUA ha MASHIACH. So light the torch once again. And tell Coenrad to only shout louder and do not underestimate the power of this enemy.

Oh MY beloved Son Coenrad, so few men have I like you. Look what I have brought forth from your hands. On the internet there is no greater site to behold. The Anointing through everything that you do and the Words that I speak forth from this Ministry, none can compare. satan gnashes his teeth in rage because Coenrad you only come back stronger with more determination that you will continue to serve ME in this way for you are part of the Amightywind Team. Let no one stop you MY Son. Let no one say, “Turn your head this way. Go work for another Ministry.” For Coenrad I have not brought you this far to tell you to turn back now. Although well meaning friends whisper in your ear, and say, “Come on over here,” they do not speak with MY voice. And they are not part of MY plan. So beware MY Son, those coming at you with good intentions, can be your downfall. I have told you from the start. I gave you the sign that was written that you could trust this Elijah [in Hebrew, Eliyahu] that I speak forth from. So silence those that would speak against the work that you do now. Even if it comes from your own spouse, know this, you are held accountable to do what I tell you to do and I have yoked you together with this Ministry and you have put your hand to the plow. Now do not look back. And one day, you shall see MY beloved One, in Heaven as you stand by the other side all the souls that have been reached and I have plucked out of that which is called the dark continent of Africa, you were as a torch and you have joined together with other torches and Africa is ablaze with MY Wildfire Anointing! And Nico Arnold will not succeed as anyone else has not succeed(ed) in putting this fire out! For it is the RUACH ha KODESH Wildfire Anointing! And no one shall quench the good work that I have begun and the good works I shall finish for when all of you have left this earth, the Wildfire shall still go forth! Souls will still come to ME on bended knee and when they are not repenting now, they will remember the Words and they will repent then. Well done MY good and faithful children. I am pleased with all of you! There is not one prayer said in vain. You cover one another in the YDS’s (YAHUSHUA Demon Stompers, Prayer Intercessors).

And when you pray, picture a lighthouse with a beacon so bright. For each time you pray I look upon earth and I see your light. I see you sparkling like the brightest of the gems. Oh how much I love each and everyone of you who are determined to do it YAHUVEH’s way. Oh how pleased I am with you and all of you, your rewards shall follow you to Heaven one day! Keep on! Keep on! Keep on! You’ve put your hand to the plow, do not look back! Pay no heed to the enemy other than to rebuke them. You know the Truth that sets you free. Not only now but for all eternity.

End of Word

Elisabeth [Elisheva]: Thank YOU.

Because he took the website down. Coenrad had a website up speaking to all of Africa and we saw the seed coming forth, and new partners coming forth, mainly souls coming forth and Nico Arnold, since it was on his internet service provider, well, he just told Coenrad, “Either you leave Amightywind Ministry or (I’m) taking the website down.” And he took it down! And guess what folks, it’s going back up again and it’s going to be louder than it was before! So take that devil! You don’t have the victory in the Name of YAHUSHUA ha MASHIACH. That voice is going forth and the Wildfire is only going to grow stronger all over Africa!

Go find us an Internet Service Provider.

Amen!

(laughing) Amen!

We love you! Every YDS we love you so very, very much! I just have to say thank you for the birthday greetings. Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me. I really mean to write each one of you. You know I love you. You know I appreciate you. The ones who gave me those greetings, I wept. They were so beautiful, so anointed. It was like the words were coming from Heaven. Just to know? as hard as satan tried to tell me… that my life was useless and worthless, YAHUVEH and YAHUSHUA especially showed me on my birthday that there were those celebrating my life because of what I have been used to do. And I just thank you and I love you. I look forward to hugging each and every one of you. So instead of writing that, can I just tell you with my own words, how much I love and appreciate you? I mean songs were written that were underneath the Anointing. A young girl named Sini, my beloved Sini, you were so shy and yet you wrote so anointed. I can’t name everyone right now but I just feel lead to put this in this Message right now because you’ve been waiting for a personal thank you. And I thank you, everyone, everyone, who just stopped and thank YAH that I was born. I thank you. I just thank you. I love you. Bye.

Offending Some, Enlightening Others Apostle Elisabeth Elijah (Elisheva Eliyahu)