#anyway i made an adult choice be proud of me

[brattybottombunny]

i went out to smoke before i started cooking dinner and when i came back in, my mom asked me “are you ordering or are you cooking?” and y’all…i held my ground and said i was cooking and im so proud of myself bc normally i would take the easy way out 😤

[devourable]

⚘ the boys next door

sfwish, mdni | tags ; poly!male yanderes x gn reader (no prns used but 'you'), manipulation, yan behavior, slight fetishization of virginity

originally this was just gonna be one character so thank mazzy for convincing me to make him a poly duo instead lmfao. ik i have things to finish but like,,, boys 🫶

not too proud of this one so ill probs revise it or make a part two at a l8r time when im feeling less rusty

the boys next door were the two that everyone knew of as a pair.

sebastian and tobias grew up together, learned together, played together, and shared absolutely everything practically since they were born. they were what people thought of when the words 'best friends' came to mind.

nothing could or would ever come between the two boys, everyone said.

so it was no shock that when you came in and quite literally got between them — by virtue of moving into the vacancies that separated their homes — their instant mutual attraction to you would do nothing but strengthen the bond between them.

it was odd. any additions to their relationship was unheard of, but...

the boys next door shared everything. you didn't think that'd exclude you, did you?

toby and sebastian were quick to befriend you when you entered their life. you were around their age, practically the only other child in the area at that; but unlike the children at school who they'd turn away from in favor of each other, they readily made you part of their dynamic.

they didn't quite understand the feelings you gave them at first, they were too young to. all they really knew is that they liked being around you, they liked talking about you, and they wanted you to themselves.

when you were young, everything became about you. their favorite games involved them being your loyal knights, or bodyguards, or any other role that involved protecting you from whatever threat their little minds could imagine up.

and when you grew tired of playing the damsel in distress? they were fine with it. whatever you wanted from them, you got. sebastian's gaming console was practically yours with how much he pushed you to play on it. toby would beg his parents to get him any toy he'd seen you show interest in; and he'd always eventually get them for you.

they didn't want you to ever be bored around them. you'd always have a good time on their watch, and they spoiled you relentlessly to the best of their abilities.

you were theirs, now! and you took care of what was yours, no matter what. that's what both of them were taught.

they grew up with you. learned with you. played with you, and of course, they shared you — even as the three of you grew up.

everyone around you saw how much they adored you, too. when asked, the two boys would proclaim how they'd both marry you in the future. it was so cute! no one saw an issue with how they always took up as much time and attention as they could from you. or how you never really seemed to be able to make friends with other kids at your school...

you had your best friends, so it didn't matter. they were all you needed.

the pair grew to love their constant close proximity to you. it ensured that they'd know what was going on in your life at all times as you grew and developed. when you weren't all hanging out together, it wouldn't be unusual for the pair to simply watch your home from their windows, glimpsing into your windows to watch you go about your life.

you were turning into a fine young adult. but you still needed their protection! they both easily surpassed you in size as you all grew up — sebastian in particular, who's height was staggering compared to both you and toby. he liked the edge it gave him, and how intimidating he could be when needed. tobias didn't have that advantage, but everyone liked him enough to respect you as his territory anyway. you were so small and sweet, what if someone saw you the way they did? they couldn't have that, they had no choice but to keep you to themselves.

it felt like you always had at least one of the two at your side at all times. so much so that it felt odd when you were without either of them. sebastian and toby being by your side was as natural as breathing and you grew to never really question their behavior.

they were just making sure you were okay when they insisted on keeping you company when you were home alone. when toby took your first kiss, it was because it only made sense — it should go to someone you trust and care about, right? and when you told the two that you were still a virgin well into adulthood (which they knew, of course), they insisted on being your first.

they knew you better than anyone, they'd know how to make you feel good. and who better to give your virginity to than your best friends?

getting to claim your body, inside and out, was one of the best moments of their lives. no one would ever get to have you the way they did.

no matter what you'd do, where you'd go, you'd always be effected by them in some way — and that's exactly how they wanted it. they'd always be your first best friends, your first boyfriends, your first everything. and you'd always be theirs.

the boys next door would always be entangled in your life. but you wouldn't have it any other way, would you?

they know you better than anyone, after all.

[kunaigirl]

Long post ahead, but I really want to talk about this...I think? Oh lord here we go, lol. Anyways, confession time!

I struggled with illiteracy and learning to read for a chunk of my life. I've mentioned it (in passing) in this post that I made about my experiences with having epilepsy, but I decided to make an whole post just for this for a change.

Somewhere around when I was in the second grade, I lost my ability to read and write due to a bad seizure I had. (That combined with the medications I was given too.) A lot of my memories are blank from that era, except for a very few instances I remember clearly. What I do remember though, has nothing to do with the seizure or even what lead up to it, all of that's still gone to this day.

I had lost my ability to read, and also was diagnosed with dyslexia during the quest to re-learn from scratch. (On top of already being diagnosed with ADHD when I was about 6.) I remember very vividly how HORRIBLE everything felt. I couldn't remember the names of things, and I had to re-learn, from preschool up, both reading and writing from scratch.

Somewhat luckily, I didn't lose anything else besides those chunks of memories and my ability to read, and I still remembered who I was, what cartoons I liked, my favorite music, etc. But suddenly, I couldn't read the CD titles anymore. I couldn't read the VHS covers. It was gone, ripped away from me very suddenly, and I knew it was missing. I knew that I already learned how to read and write, but it was forced out of me by a malfunctioning brain. I was home schooled because of it from grades 3rd-5th. (2003-2005)

In the third grade, I had made just enough progress to get books for 5 year olds. Everyone around me acted so proud, but all I could do was cry. I was humiliated. I felt so incredibly stupid, as being illiterate leaves you with no choice but to feel stupid. I threw those baby books around my room and sat on the floor crying. It wasn't fair, I didn't do anything wrong, it was my damn seizures. I had no control.

When I went back to public school for 6th grade, I got called stupid, the r-slur, illiterate, slow, basically every name in the book. Both kids and adults, all throughout those years while I continued to re-learn in real time. In middle school, my reading level was still low for my age, and I had to be in a special program with extra assistance and teacher accommodations. As soon as word got out, the kids were RELENTLESS. It was 06-07, nobody cared about bullying/etc, especially for a public middle school. The bullying never stopped.

I kept working and studying, slowly making progress. Years of struggling, learning to cope, inventing my own short-cuts to help read a little easier, using rulers and paper edges to help guide my eyes, everything. I was still in "special" classes with accommodations all through high school too. My senior year of high school, I graduated on the honor role list. Did that make me happy? It felt nice for sure, but better? Not by much. I knew how hard I still struggled, and still felt very embarrassed by it all. I'll never forget.

As a kid, the pain I felt was so intense. Physically from the seizure, and in every other way with having to re-learn how to spell t-r-e-e. Starting over with pre-K toddler books at 7. Kindergarten level at age 8, and a first grade level as a 9 year old. The feeling of having my memories ripped away just enough to leave me unable to recognize the symbols that decorated everything from posters to TV to book covers. Being told by a room full of doctors and neurologists what had happened, and being quizzed and tested to see what I still had left.

I have never forgotten those long nights. Even though I was a child, the shame and guilt and fear I felt were VERY real and very tense. And the jokes/remarks from both kids AND adults, the notebooks filled with raw squiggly anger, the uphill climb to regain what was taken from me. I will NEVER forget it. Even in college, I struggled with those heavy textbooks and their tiny fonts. I did well enough, but no one else struggled the way I did with them. I did my work and wrote my essays, but it would take full entire days. It still does.

At times, as an adult, I still get stuck on words. I can obviously read and write again, as you can see with this exact post, but it's not over. I struggle with certain fonts, and some books are just to difficult. I still work at it and still try as hard as I can even to this very goddamn day. It never truly ended, all these years later, 20 years later, I still sometimes fight to understand. I feel like an angry and humiliated kid again in those moments, but I'm not that kid or teen anymore. I lived thought it somehow.

I had a dream back when I was 17, where I'm standing in from of my 9 year old self and that pile of baby books. She's crying and looking at me, desperately. I walk over and hug her, proudly telling her "We read The Great Gatsby in high school, and we understand it."

To anyone who has struggled with illiteracy at non-toddler-points in their lives, I see you. To anyone who's struggled with reading comprehension, I see you. To anyone who struggled with writing, I see you. We don't talk about it enough, and I want to change that. I don't want to hide that side of my life experience anymore. Fuck shame, we climbed out of it.

And to this day, a copy of "The Great Gatsby" is still on my shelf. Because I read it in high school, and 9 year old me would've thought that was the coolest achievement ever.

[running-with-the-feels]

yknow, Mileena's backstory as of mk9 actually makes me really sad bc think about it:

You are born to be a replacement for someone else, someone who everyone you meet considers better than you and yet you are expected to exceed her in every way. You do not get her compassion or her beauty or any of the things ppl like about her, all you get is the darker bits, the monstrosity she pretends she doesn't have as though she cut it from herself and put it into you

You are born with the mind of an adult, filled with incredibly complex emotions and lacking any experience with which to make sense of them. You are born alone, surrounded by the corpses of the failed attempts that preceded you, and the very first person you meet is Her, the one you were made to replace.

And she hates you.

She's never met you before, and she hates you, she calls you an abomination and attacks and you have been alive for barely more than a few minutes before someone has decided to kill you.

But then, your father, the king who wanted her replaced, declares you his daughter and heir, and he loves you. All your monstrosity, all your rage and hate and bloodlust that you still don't fully understand, all of it makes him smile, makes him call you daughter and tell you that you will sit in his place some day. The man that made you for him calls you a masterpiece, calls you perfect.

Everyone else betrays you the moment you let them get close, or they simply try to kill you outright for things you have not even done yet.

You were born.

That is your crime.

So you start becoming the thing they call you, because it makes your father proud and everyone else hates you anyways so what is the point in choosing any different? Is it even a choice? When no alternative is offered, when doing otherwise never crosses your mind because why would it when it is so clearly not an option?

Mileena genuinely could have been a good person if people had tried to reach for her. We know that her being half tarkatan is not why she's evil bc mk11 proves that the tarkatans aren't evil, just driven by different cultural values. But nobody did reach for her except Shao Kahn, so she became a miniature version of him bc, for as fucked up as he was, Shao Kahn was genuinely the only person who ever loved her.

But even that love was conditional, we know from mk11 intro dialogues that Mileena was constantly compared to Kitana. Her place in the family is explicitly stated to only be allowed so long as she proves better than Kitana. Is it any wonder Mileena hates her so much? Kitana tried to kill her the day she was born (Which, I get it, Mileena was def being a bit creepy and she is Kitana's sort of clone which would unsettle anyone, but like, come on) and now the only people that treat Mileena with any affection are telling her that their affection will be withdrawn if Kitana wins

Like, shit dude, that would make anyone a little fucked in the head, how much worse would it be for Mileena who was basically an infant with an adult's brain shoved into her head?

[bonefall]

Golfy is literally one of my favorite cats of all time and I adore the way you’ve characterized her!! Any fun tidbits to share? I want to know more about the woman

There's a sketch of her floating around if you want to go on a treasure hunt! I don't have time to look for it right now (I am currently in the trunk of a clown car), but I've actually drawn a beta of her design and her big mane

Also note: BB!Goldenflower is part of the Doekin line. Speckletail's perception of herself and her family is tied strongly to being Doestar's niece. This association dies out with Thornclaw in BB!OotS as he's the last one to strongly value this legacy.

Golfy's mane is so poofy, unmanageabley poofy. She keeps it braided

Lionheart just surrendered to entrophy on that one lmao. "Dirt happens."

It's my little way of trying to show the difference between the siblings.

They're both proud and honorable, but Lionheart is more calm and patient. He's a Que Sera Sera kind of guy.

Goldenflower is more fond of the expression, "Fortune favors the prepared."

Note to self: Clanmewnize these expressions. Que Sera Sera is notably quite RiverClannish... Golfy's phrase is definitely from early ThunderClan

Not to get too distracted but I recently got this FANTASTIC idea for how to close out Book 3 of BB!DOTC on a bittersweet note, involving The First Boarhunt and Clear Sky being delightfully devious as always. Maybe it would be cool to put that phrase there... anyway.

She had three siblings total, Lionheart, Mistleclaw, and Snowkit. It's really difficult being the last one; family was extremely important to her.

Mistleclaw wasn't even a year out of apprenticeship; you're really considered an ADULT adult after being on your own for a year. Losing her was like losing a sibling who's college-aged. That was to the plague, before Firestar's arrival.

Smallear was openly the father of all four of them, but Goldenflower hesitates to call him Ba. Him and Speckletail had a really toxic on-again off-again thing.

Smallear was closest to Mistleclaw, who coincidentally looked the most like him. Goldenflower is like... "yeah thats what i expected of him, that fish-eared loser"

She's biased in favor of her mother though. Lionheart was more chill with Smallear; not CLOSE but, neutral-positive.

It wasn't entirely Smallear's fault that the relationship kept falling apart though, to be clear. I use toxic in this use very much on purpose, it wasn't abuse, they really cannot get along.

So when Goldenflower eventually picked a mate, she REALLY just wanted a stable lifepartner that would not be like that.

I would describe her relationship with Tigerclaw more in the terms of an "arrangement." Fishing for romantic information from her is VERY funny because she just like. Doesn't "get" romance.

Brambleclaw: "Mom... what did you... like about dad?"

"He was large, we were both very large. And he was a responsible warrior, respected and ambitious. Well... at the time we believed that. And he spoke with great confidence. He had a way of making you feel like you were both safe and powerful by his side."

It will not even click for her that most people don't open the answer to "why did you love x" with "he was tall like me"

(VINE BOOM AROACE FLAG)

She wanted kits and a partner. She doesn't regret the relationship, she regrets what he made her believe.

On Tigerclaw's end, it was mutual. They both liked each other as trusted Clanmates. He was attracted to her and reciprocated when she proposed a mateship, but I don't think he ever really got over Spottedleaf romantically.

Plus, getting into this family was a smart political move. Having Speckletail's approval was VERY useful.

I might stick Goldenflower as Head of Hunting through TNP to early Po3, until she trains a successor, since there's no rush. I have an allegiance list floating around but I can't remember off the top of my head if she's where she should be

She's actually super disappointed in Tawnypelt for her choice. I don't think they ever reconcile this, they're both too proud

So she's kinda iffy on that alliance with ShadowClan. Not to the point of spite, but she does easily believe stereotypes about them.

"A bunch of holdouts of TigerClan and duplicitous fiends over there."

Both Golfy and Tawnp miss each other a lot, but again. Neither one is going to apologize to the other or say the other was even slightly correct.

And Golfy wouldn't accept it if Tawnp even did. She made her choice. They're in different Clans now. She chose her father, who killed Swiftpaw and Lionheart.

And for that, Golfy will not forgive her.

If they ended up in a battle, neither would hold back. They both know this.

I'm really fond of her. She really is Speckletail's daughter and the whole family has a special flavor of pain and pride.

[discobiscotto]

“Signor Marcovaldo is my father, call me Alberto, Alby…or Maestro 😏”

If we’re talking predictability in design, adult Alberto was NOT easy. I had literally nothing to work from. No (living?) family to compare to, no hints at what kindof quirks he may develop. I had nothing!

All I had was that (assumed) deep-seated desire to be accepted, useful/helpful, and not left behind…..that, and yanno, that Charisma In Excess (as a KID no less, dude calm that shxt down or you’re grounded lol)

Alot of pawing around in the dark and just going with what felt right to me.

I took some cues here and there. Some pretty forward and commonly accepted (“You, the big strong one.” etc), others subtle and unassuming but I ran like the wind with it?

Anyway, here we go. What’s the deal with this walking bowl of spaghetti anyhow?

This will be a two parter. His seamonster form requires a separate post.

Alberto as I said is a bit of a wild card. He doesn’t have as much of an obvious blueprint compared to Luca or Giulia.

His physical appearance for his human form was based solely on environmental influence.

Physically I imagined him to be a bit rough around the edges. Kindof gaunt but not so much that he looks sick or weak. He’s pretty much just one big muscle. Not an ounce of fat on him. Nothing but sinew. Very toned and muscular but certainly not huge. He’s just solid and FIT.

He’s a guy from the docks. He’s a fisherman. He’s salty and peppered in scars. Heavy calloused hands. He picked up smoking at a young age. He spends endless hours in the sun, thus he’s still very freckly as an adult. His impulsive ass got a tooth busted out in a fist-fight. Five o clock shadow and untidy sandy facial hair. I imagined his hair growing more “out and up” than down. Tight coils suggest he’d likely have a ‘fro or pomp, so I combined the two, keeping that old Alberto “top heavy” hairdo lol.

Profoundly Italian, so he’s pretty furry everywhere. Being a hard worker for years, excessive sun exposure, substance use, he looks alittle “older” than he actually is. (Pushing 34 ish).

I made him very tall, 6’4” ish. I admit, I love a good “Tall Man x Small Man” dynamic, so that’s definitely a shameless “luberto-centric” choice lol But I also considered a funny “goldfish” concept where just like a goldfish only gets bigger when his bowl is bigger…perhaps nature was trying to make him “compete” and measure up or even end up bigger than Massimo. 😆

If there’s one thing I learned from “Ciao Alberto” it’s that Alberto has a deep desire to be useful and accepted. He tries through the entire film to impress Massimo and in turn hope Massimo accepts him and sees Alberto can be just as good at his knife-wielding barrel heaving badassery as he is.

Alberto ultimately ending up as a fisherman by trade was an easy choice. Not only do I write what I know (being a Mainer in the coast with a deep affinity with fishermen and shipbuilders) but it is the ultimate way to show his love for Massimo. To help carry on the legacy.

Alberto has mastered some unlikely skills as well. Not as unlikely as you’d expect though considering his desire to impress Massimo.

So consider this:

-Alright, Massimo is great at cooking. Alberto sucks EPICALLY at first but over time, his motivation to measure up to his hero and dad-figure makes him an amazing cook? Check.

-Massimo likes to sing. Alberto picks it up and finds he’s an Unreasonably Excellent Singer and prodigious musician who plays by ear? DOUBLE CHECK.

(Note: The lore and reasons behind this and Alberto’s mandolin will be a blogpost on its own eventually)

-Alberto being a competent and prolific/productive fisherman resulting in the family biz growing and delivering outside of Portorosso? Definitely a proud moment for Massimo.

So to me it all checks out, and drives home Alberto’s strong gumption and the next generation being better than the generation before. As a parent, I subscribe to this goal. I want my boys to be the “Big Strong Ones.”

There’s also the bit that Alberto is a bit of a lush and a party animal. Charismatic, has a bit of a Casanova complex. Charm pouring out of his ears. Why? Well, dang, I really don’t know. I guess bringing it back to that “Charisma In Excess” statement at the beginning of this, it just felt right somehow. I had it so that he really wasn’t all that conventionally attractive but had a level of animal magnetism that’s hard to resist.

There’s lore behind that too…but will be reserved for his “Fish Form” post.

I dunno, it’s probably cus he’s Italian. It could be that simple. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[sourbinnie]

title -> how i hate those guys! genre -> angst + college au pair -> hyunjin x gn!reader warnings -> reader wears makeup + smoking + cursing + hyunjin being a hyunmean words -> 3705 lowercase intended a/n: this is longer than i usually write, anyways yunjin best friend ever, that's it.

this what makes us girls we all look for heaven and we put love first something that we'd die for, it's a curse don't cry about it, don't cry about it this is what makes us girls we don't stick together 'cause we put love first don't cry about him, don't cry about him it's all gonna happen

this is what makes us girls / lana del rey

"if he's here, i'll probably die." i said as i looked down. trying my best to fix my outfit and my hair as we walked down the street at night, not the best choice but none of us had a car and we were not taking public transport for a few blocks. 

"you know he is! stop being so nervous, it's gonna be fine." yunjin responded as she took my hand and i just sighed. we have been friends for over 2 years and yet i still felt like i was too little for her. she was just a dream, the it girl kinda type, she didn't have to make the effort to look pretty, she just was. while i was here with an outfit that her and chaewon picked, with makeup that they wanted me to wear and i tried my best to fit in this whole atmosphere. 

it was a house party, a big one. one of my classmates held it and i didn't even know he had this much money to be hosting something so grand, it definitely made me feel insecure that i was still living with my parents and struggling to keep a job and paying a private university which was prestigious but also had the reputation for everyone being a "show off". i never considered myself the fancy type either but i really wanted to get my degree and to make my parents proud and in the third year, here i was trying my best to survive. i met yunjin and chaewon when i first started, i hit it off with both of them because we were kinda lost in the whole college deal and being beginners felt weird. it took a group project and us sitting close to each other for us to actually start talking and become friends but it was worth it. 

some people say that college is nothing like high school which i agree. but then i look at the people, how they act and how they show off themselves. i can't help but get flashbacks to secondary school life. just now everyone's an adult and semi conscious of their actions. 

when we arrived, the music was gonna make me deaf. it was so loud and the place was packed, like it was a big house for sure but i did not understand how many people they invited. i was guessing it would be just the people that this guy knew but apparently i didn't know anything about parties. the word spread from mouth to mouth as more people found out about what was happening today. getting in was already a disaster with the heavy clouds of smoke that some guys were blowing in the front lawn. yunjin grabbed my hand and decided to get me in as chaewon went looking for sakura in the backyard. the neon lights were fluorescent as i took in the atmosphere that surrounded me and trying to see familiar faces so i felt less alone. i barely knew people here to be fair, the only one who stood out to me was san who i've done a couple of projects with and he was hanging out with wooyoung who i've seen around campus (he's loud, impossible not to notice him). he waved at me and i waved back slightly as i kept on walking with yunjin. i didn't know what she was looking for exactly, probably one of her million friends. it was like she knew the whole college, she definitely became the most popular out of our friend group and i might not be as popular but i did have a "reputation" because i was by her side.

"okay (y/n), there he is." yunjin said to me and i looked at her confused but then i saw who she was pointing at and immediately grabbed her arm for her to put it down. she just laughed at my actions and sighed, as i took in the scene again. hwang hyunjin was right there with his group of friends and he looked bored out of his mind. i never took in to be a party kinda guy but i knew that his friends changbin and jisung were a bit wild. he was probably the prettiest boy i've ever seen, most handsome one for sure. he just had a beauty that i could not describe with words and he was following the same career that i was, we were in almost every class together and saw each other almost every day but i'm pretty sure he had no idea i even existed. 

"what the hell am i supposed to do with that information? it's not like i can go and walk over to him yun!" i said and she just smiled, i knew she found it cute when i was nervous. i couldn't focus on anything but him and this happened quite a lot because i would just stare as mesmerized as i could get. and if he did know i existed, it's not like he would look my way. "can we go find chae and kura?" i said and she just looked at me with her big puppy eyes.

"come onnn, this is your chance to shine! we're not in college, you both have something in common and also he's all alone right now!" she said and she did have a point. but i could not even have a conversation with a stranger, let alone with my crush! what the hell was i gonna say?. "he's looking in our direction right now." she said and i panicked.

he was indeed looking and as yunjin pretended that she was looking somewhere else, i held eye contact with him and he actually fucking smiled. if i didn't pass out right then & there than i don't know how i was gonna survive this night. he signaled me to come over since his friends were somewhere else and i just mouthed "me?" which caused him to nod. it took a slight push from yunjin as she waved me goodbye for me to go where hyunjin was. shaky legs and everything i made through the crowd and to him. his jacket hanging on his shoulders, his necklace on his neck and his earrings were gonna make me lose it but i stayed calm and spoke up.

"hi, why did you want me to come over?" i said as best as i could 'cause the noise was still loud as hell and the people chatting just made it worse. drunkenness all around but i didn't drink so i could stay sober while talking to hyunjin, good move i know.

"it's rude to stare at me like that you know? i've seen you doing it during class too." he said laughing and i wanted to die right there, bury me i don't care. of course he was gonna notice that i do that like a psychopath. 

"i'm sorry, i don't know why i do that at all." i said and i did know but i was gonna keep it to myself because the worst thing i could say right now is that i had a crush on him for like a year already. "i will go now! have a nice night".

"stay please, it's not like we both have company right now and our friends well-" he said as he pointed out the window and i saw his friends jumping in the pool and mine hanging out with a bunch of girls that i didn't know at all. it was hard to feel included but i tried to see the good side and that was that they considered me a part of the group. "(y/l/n) (y/n) right?".

"yeah! we share... a lot of classes together." i said as he offered me his drink. "oh no thanks! i don't drink." he then nodded as he put it down and sat down on the floor since every seat was taken and again did the signal with his hand. i sat down next to him and even in the nighttime, with all the purple and red lights, i could not stop admiring him. i was still in a state of shock that he was even talking to me but i tried to let it go. 

"you love staring don't you?" he said and i just looked back down again as i blushed. i could feel the heat rush up to my cheeks and the air getting heavier from the amount of people that were in the house at that moment. "i don't mind though but let me stare at you too."

"okay?" i said and so we did. we stared at each other for quite a while as his eyes met my features like he was studying every single one of them. he smiled at me and i couldn't help but smile back as his hand met my crimson red cheek and slowly traced patterns with his fingers on it. he placed a kiss on my chin and i took it in like i was high. i didn't know how i would feel if i actually got a kiss from him but i would take in every moment that i could if i could only feel him.

he then leaned in closer to my ear and whispered.

"let's get out of here okay?" 

i just nodded and he grabbed my hand as he took me outside, everyone in the crowd moved like they were in his control. as soon as i felt the cold air breeze, his hands were on my waist and he kissed me. it was so deep and so majestic that i almost lost balance but he grabbed me. i followed his pattern as his lips and mine moved to a slow rhythm but it was perfect. i could not ask for a better first kiss with hyunjin.

"been wanting to do that for so long now." he said and i just smiled as i was completely enamored by him and his words.

"why didn't you?" i said and that's when he smiled. 

"just seeing you today gave me the last push i needed to do it."

✉ ✉ ✉

when i got back home, i immediately got a message from yunjin. i was so tired but all the excitement and the energy i was feeling in my chest was driving me on to answer it. i also got hyunjin's number which after what happened shouldn't be that surprising but it was. i still couldn't believe he noticed me and that he did all of that. he made ! a ! move ! on ! me ! and i gotta thank yunjin for that.

yunjinnie❤ OH GOD I SAW IT I WAS EXPECTING FOR A CONVERSATION NOT FOR YOU TO MAKE OUT WITH HIM AGAINST THE WALL WHAT THE HELL (Y/N) YOU BETTER THANK ME

i couldn't help but laugh at the eagerness and then feel completely embarrassed by my actions. of course everyone saw us and in the moment i didn't care. but then i saw the pics that chaewon kept sending me and yep, there we were. his hands around my waist, mine on his chest as he kissed me. he lead it on and on as i followed every move and i could still feel his lips when i touched mine. it was such a sweet feeling to be wanted by the one you wanted all along but it still felt unreal.

i answered every single message i was getting from my friends but then i saw him message me.

hyunjin ♡  can't wait to see you this week had so much fun tonight take care (y/n) and have a lovely night

i held back my teenage girl scream as i didn't wanna wake up my parents but oh god that make a thousand butterflies explode in my stomach. i couldn't even sleep, i was just thinking the night through back & forth. repeating the events like film scenes. but this was my reality and it was all changing so quickly.

✉ ✉ ✉

i felt the weekend end quickly and monday to start so abruptly. i walked to class with chaewon and i could feel the stares right on me, i didn't know how to act around it but i tried my best to ignore it and to keep going. as always chae would sit with sakura and i would sit with yunjin but today she called in sick. what i did not expect was for hyunjin to sit next to me and greet me with his signature smile. 

"hey, i hope you don't mind me taking this seat." he said and i shook my head as i saw him once again. his hair was combed back, shining platinum blonde as he left his bag on the floor and his eyes were on me again. again the analyzing kinda phase was never going to stop as we looked at each other and our hands met under the table. intertwining fingers as i bit my lip 'cause he still really made me nervous. "i hope your weekend was good and that you get used to this because like i said... i really wanted to do what i did that night."

the class started and i could not answer him. but from the stares he kept on giving me, i know he already knew my answer and how i was feeling more comfortable than ever with him. chae and kura kept on laughing behind me but i didn't care because i was again so enamored by the feeling that i was being given a chance to be with the one i wanted for so long.

my next class wasn't with hyunjin but that still didn't stop him from texting me all the way through. that also didn't stop the staring or the whispering that could be heard when they saw me. i heard the word "hyunjin's toy" and it made me shiver 'cause i didn't wanna doubt everything but it felt like things were going too well and in my favor to not be doubting that something bad could happen. 

✉ ✉ ✉

an entire month of me and hyunjin going back and forth. from kissing in the courtyard to painting together to listening to playlists we made for each other. it was safe to say that it wasn't a crush anymore, it was much more. i didn't want to let myself fall for a guy that didn't ask me on a date yet but from his actions it was safe to say he felt the same way right? 

yunjin said she felt like i was drifting away from them to spend time with hyunjin. i mean it could easily be true but this is what they wanted me to do all along wasn't it? to be finally with the guy i liked. they should be happy for me instead of holding me back like they were doing. i felt myself take a step back and look at my friendship and my "relationship" (if you could call it that). i didn't know what to pick or where to even start because i liked what i had with hyunjin but i felt like it wasn't enough and my friends seemed to be taking steps away from me too, it just didn't feel like i belonged anywhere.

i found myself on the phone with yunjin as we tried to settle down on what we wanted. i didn't want to cry but the tears were already threatening to spill out of my eyes. 

"look, i just want you to be careful because this is your first serious relationship (y/n) and you're spending a lot of time with him." she said and she had a point but i still felt like she wasn't happy for me and i couldn't put my finger around why she didn't feel the same way i did. 

"i just, i don't know! why are you saying this to me? i wanna be with him and have you as my friend!" i exclaimed, getting tired of the going round and round. "why aren't you happy for me jinnie?" i said with a broken voice and hoping for a clear answer.

"because there's just something weird going around him & you okay? i don't know what it is but i feel like you need to take a step back." she said and if i didn't think it was bullshit before, it was definitely now. she couldn't even say what was wrong, it was just a feeling that she had.

"is it? or are you just jealous that my relationship is working out?" i asked and i could feel her gasp and get up as she tried to process what i just said. it took me time to process why i went there but it felt like i had to.

"oh that's where you're gonna go? jealousy? of you and him? when he hasn't even asked you to be his significant other properly?" she backfired when it was a low blow but nothing hurt more than to fight with who i thought was my friend. "i don't know why you said but we can work it out okay? i just want you to be careful, that's all."

"and i just want you to stay out of my business! who do you think you are to have a say in who i'm da- seeing?" i had to cut myself off before i said dating because i wasn't.

"okay fine. i'll leave you the fuck alone, don't come crawling back when he fucking hurts you." she said and hanged up. that's it wasn't it? i just lost my best friend.

✉ ✉ ✉

hyunjin could tell something was wrong with me but i did not let it go through as the days passed and i still waited for yunjin to call me. to say it was just a prank, to remind me that we were friends till the end of time but nothing happened. instead i drowned my pain with making out with my "boyfriend" and hoping everything would heal as time went on (even though it wouldn't). i just wanted a world where i could have both my friends and the guy i liked, why was that so much to ask for?

"baby look at me." he said and i did, there was concern in his eyes. i've never seen that look on him before so i stopped and hoped he would explain what was happening with him. "i don't even know where to start." 

"what? did something happen?" i asked curiously but he just shook his head to then grab my hands and sigh. "just say it babe."

"i lied okay?"

i felt my heart stop right then and there. i didn't know exactly what he was talking about but it felt like the air suddenly got heavy like that night again yet it was only the two of us in his room. i had the worst feeling about this.

"when i told you to approach me at the party." he took a deep breath and exhaled as i tried my best to keep my composure and not lose it right then and there. "it was because... changbin made a bet where i had to make someone fall in love with me before the month is over and then ask them out and-".

"oh my god." i mumbled as i tried to process every word like it didn't sting in my heart. i felt everything get cloudy in a second as everything that i just lived for the past month was a fucking lie. a cruel one.

"listen i didn't think that i would fall and i knew you already liked me so-".

"so you went and fucking played with me? what is wrong with you?" i said as i got up and put on my shoes again. i couldn't believe my ears as he tried to explain that he fell for me, that he would call the bet off, that everything was gonna be okay and we could actually date like he wanted to. but i couldn't have any of that. i decided to follow him, to lose my friends and actually be with him, to just be a fucking bet? i felt so completely stupid and disgusted with his actions.

"listen (y/n). don't do this, we'll work it out and i'll call the fucking bet off but i cannot lose you." he said and begged for me to stay but i could not care less about his feelings right now as mine were being torn and shredded apart.

"i actually thought i had a chance with you. i gave it my all and didn't let myself be guided by what my friends said or what people were whispering in the hallways 24/7 and i get paid like this? a fucking bet?" i say with every tear falling out like a cascade. "on top of that you chose me because you knew you could make me easily fall and that's so fucked up hyunjin." 

he didn't have any more words than "sorry" to say so i decided to leave. he didn't even chase after me because there was no point in doing so, he just stood there like a statue watching me leave and i took the little pride i had left in me to walk away. 

✉ ✉ ✉

when i made to the familiar house, i couldn't even see it clearly through all my tears but i knew the way to her home by heart. i rang the bell and waited and when she opened the door and saw me in that state, she knew exactly what happened. my mascara was messed up, my hair was a mess and my clothes were lazily put on as i tried to escape from hyunjin as fast as possible to find my way here. 

"i'm so fucking sorry, i'll kill him." yunjin said as she hugged me and through the tears, i laughed but in the most broken way possible. 

"a bet." i could only say.

that's all i was at the end of the day.

[authoralexharvey]

INTERVIEW WITH A WRITEBLR — @sleepyowlwrites

Who You Are:

M.J || She/her

I'm a relentlessly optimistic affectionate creative who will impart love to the world through whatever means possible, and this includes my writing. And it shows, because all my kids are either full of love or in desperate need of it.

What You Write:

What genres do you write in? What age ranges do you write for?

Action, Adventure, Contemporary, Fanfic, Fantasy, Poetry. Young and New Adult.

What genre would you write in for the rest of your life, if you could? What about that genre appeals to you?

Fantasy, it's always been fantasy. Even my contemporary pieces have trace elements of fantasy in them. I like having rules in my worlds, but ones that I made up instead of science or society.

What genre/s will you not write unless you HAVE to? What about that genre turns you off?

Romance. I sometimes think about trying it, but I quickly turn away. There's nothing about romance that is fulfilling in a way that I couldn't find elsewhere. It's just not enough for me. I want everything else, everything in the wider love spectrum, all the kinds I personally treasure in my own life.

Who is your target audience? Do you think anyone outside of that would get anything out of your works?

Anybody, but especially people who have emotions that refuse to be processed. I'm hoping to help them process those emotions through the lens of character. If a reader isn't ready for striking combinations of whimsy and weight, or unexpected feelings, then they might not jive with my stories.

What kind of themes do you tend to focus on? What kinds of tropes? What about them appeals to you?

Mental illness, friendship, hurt/comfort, the mortifying ordeal of being known, purpose, trauma, personal choices, siblings, raw depths of emotions, and shenanigans. One of these is not like the other. I like to put relatable qualities in fantastical realms and make it intimate. I want you to indulge, and I want you to think.

What themes or tropes can you not stand? What about them turn you off?

Romanticized abuse or toxic relationships, romanticized mental illness or disabilities, fake redemption arcs, poorly realized characters or cheap twists, and sex. I'm entirely uninterested in sex. There are too many things I dislike to think of them now that I've been asked, but they're just preference. Don't backtrack on character growth for the sake of drama, please.

What are you currently working on? How long have you been working on it?

That's a trick question. I work on multiple projects at once because that's what my brain prefers. My longest wip is 10 months old and my oldest is almost 7 years.

Why do you write? What keeps you writing?

I've always talked my thoughts aloud to make them make sense - my adhd doesn't think in sentences, so it can get very jumbled in my brain - and stories are an additional way of explaining the world or people to myself, or explaining myself to other people, or of explaining nothing but exploring the unnamed. I write because I feel these things anyway. Might as well share them.

How long have you been writing? What do you think first drew you to it?

Since I was 9, so 20 years ago. The same reason as above, and also my mom said I was talented. I was decidedly untalented in various other areas, so I jumped on that talent and went for it. I do still think I'm talented but I'm a good writer because I kept at it. I have the skills now to back up the talent. It’s very gratifying.

Where do you get your inspiration from? Is that how you got your inspiration for your current project? If not, where did the inspiration come from?

Anywhere, and I really mean it. I can't tell you how many times I've been sitting at a stoplight, or cleaning, or watch Chicago Med with my mom bemoaning the horrible writing and poof! Idea. It just comes to me. Little bit gift, little bit curse, really.

What work of yours are you most proud of? Why?

Hard to say. Everything. The ones that barely exist and the ones that don't make sense anymore. The poetry from 2010 that is simply terrible. The ones from 2020 that are full of grief. The stories that change form but won't leave me alone. The ones I just invented. I'm proud of of it for impacting me, the audience I write for first.

Have you published anything? Do you want to?

No. Yes? It's not the only end goal like when I was 14. It's an idea I like to entertain. I'm currently happy just to be writing along with work.

What part of the publishing process most appeals to you? What part least appeals to you?

I'd like to self-publish first, and that means learning and doing new things, which I hate. I'm 29 and I still hate it. The upside would be more control, the downside would be more control.

What part of the writing process most appeals to you? What part is least appealing?

Least appealing is finishing. Most appealing is starting and middling. I'm also afraid of worldbuilding because it tends to squash my writing drive for some reason? I'm working on it.

Do you have a writing process? Do you have an ideal setup? Do you write in pure chaos? Talk about your process a bit.

It's pure chaos. I rubber duck until sentences settle like dew in the morning, and then I sometimes collect it to make tea, and sometimes I just watch it evaporate. Both activities are important. I write until I find a plot, and if I cannot find one, I will let the tea sit and grow mold. Sometimes I have to throw it out. Sometimes I recycle, plant flowers, and grow new stories. It's chaos. I love it.

Your Thoughts on Writeblr:

How long have you been a writeblr? What inspired you to join the community?

2018 - I converted from a kpop blog - I wanted to get back into writing original fiction again, and I wanted my writeblr to be my main. So. I did that.

Shout out some of your favorite writeblrs. How did you find them and what made you want to follow them?

How. Am I supposed to pick. Some? I found everybody from following a few people and seeing who they followed. I usually follow on a whim, and then make friends after. @zmwrites, @akindofmagictoo, @blind-the-winds, @oh-no-another-idea, @ink-fireplace-coffee, @avrablake, @chayscribbles, @mel-writes-with-her-dragons, @artbyeloquent, @writing-is-a-martial-art, @ashen-crest, I have at least 80 more people I could mention

What is your favorite part about writeblr?

Making friends and adopting each other's blorbos! And reading some truly excellent stories, obviously.

What do you think writeblr could improve on? How do you think we can go about doing so?

Initiate interaction. If you want asks, send some, if you want tags, tag people, if you want readers, read stuff. There's no guarantee of reciprocity - I'm often too tired to respond enthusiastically even when I'm happy to see a post - but the more we engage, the more we are engaging. Wow, I'm a writer.

How do you contribute to the writeblr community? Do you think you could be doing more?

I try to send asks whenever I see people asking, I post prompts lists and invent tags. I start conversations and make friends that way. I could be doing more, but it’s a balance between doing more and not breaking my boundaries. I talk to people all day at work and expend social energy. As an introvert, I have to not overreach or I get anxiety and burnout. Life's a balancing act, and writeblr is no exception.

What kinds of posts do you most like to interact with?

Tag games? It liberally depends on the day. I struggle the most with reblogging others' writing. But I'm getting better!

What kind of posts do you most like to make?

Writing memes or relatability, or new tag games.

Finally, anywhere else online we may be able to find you?

Not anywhere that I use frequently.

[lightdragon789]

I'm going through a bad burn out and art block right now, it's been a roller coaster for me atm.

So, I decided to share some pieces that I've done in the past but never got around to uploading. That being the rest of Nash's family. His mom Clara, his father Howard and his younger sister Agnes (Kid and young adult).

I'm going to give a brief description of his parents, as I haven't figured much out for Agnes yet. Just know she's a very cute kid with lots of energy. Plus that Nash never got to meet Agnes until he venture through Aakahn with Bodie to Montell. This is due to their father never coming to Nash's place for them to meet and Nash never visited due to going through his own mental struggles relating to his father. In the story Nash wrote a song for Agnes, thinking she had their mother's hazel eyes. But she didn't and it disheartened Nash and made him realize just how much of his sister's life he missed.

But anyway, let's start with Howard! Nash's father worked at Aakahn's hunter's guild. He was known as one of the best hunters in his prime, catching many beasts. Bears, wolves and even some avian half-bloods. He was a fighter but also a strategist with traps. It wasn't until Nash was around six that a half-blood from silverben, damaged his leg severely. To the point where he was to use a cane due to his bad limp, thus retiring early from being a hunter. This gave him the push to start training Nash into becoming a hunter like his fathers and brothers before him.

When Nash was showing lack of interest in becoming a hunter and more into the arts though. His father did all he could to disway him from that path. Drilling it into him, how he'd be nothing to nobody if he didn't become a hunter. Stating it was in their family's blood to be a hunter and that he had all the qualities of a hunter. Even when years passed and Nash still didn't show much interest, he took Nash to Montell to shoot an avian folk he caught before him injury with a crossbow. He was proud that Nash took the shot and advanced his training from then on.

He never noticed how much this was effecting Nash, only seeing his progress and showing his pride when Nash did what he was told. Then when Nash was 15, he helped him move out so that there would be space for his younger sibling. He never visited Nash after helping him move, as when he found out he became a librarian instead of a hunter. He grew ashamed of him and focused on his wife, but then she died in child birth. Leaving him to seek a caretaker for the baby while he worked in a more easy place.

It isn't until Nash passes by with Bodie does the two meet again after 4ish years. He's impressed and proud of Nash for catching such an impressive beast. But Nash isn't the same anymore and asks why his dad never visited him or came to console him after his mom's death. To which Howard is dismissive but it makes Nash more annoyed, to point where he lash out with all the years of anger flooding out. It's here he learns that Howard didn't visit due to being ashamed of Nash's choices and Nash disowns his father. Citing they were only tied by a last name and that was it, and how he wants nothing to do with him anymore and leaves with Bodie.

SO, yeah that's Howard! Onto Clara!

Clara all her life wanted to go to Thessla and train to become a mage. As she always was fascinated by glyph magic and knew she had some strong times to her affinities. However, her family was anti-magic and forced her into jobs around Aakahn. It made her feel tied down as she practiced magic on the side, away from her folks. But then they set her for an arranged marriage with Howard and there wasn't anything she could do about it. Thus stopping her magic practices and being wedded to Howard. Then having Nash as their first son. At first, due to postpartum depression. Clara distances herself, only feeding and caring for Nash when he cried.

However, things were easy as Nash was a very relaxed baby. Then as he got older, Clara would still be distant emotionally at times but tried her best to help Nash in anyway she could. Even showing off glyph magic to Nash when Howard was off working. When he went into retirement due to his limp, and started training Nash. She truly saw how much of a toll it was taking on their son. She tried to voice her concerns but was shot down multiple times by Howard. So, she'd make it up to Nash by taking him on nature walks, going to the library and in the summer time watching the fireflies.

She even saved money and bought Nash a violin, after his 11th birthday. Seeing how shaken up he was after shooting the avian half-blood. There wasn't mush she could do, other than say how sorry she was due to all of events his father put him through. Even the day he moved out, all she could muster was a teary sorry as he left. Even still, she waited for her son to visit. Writing letters and sending him the stories he would write her on her birthdays and Mother's Day. After she passed away giving birth to Agnes, she never blamed Nash for never coming but only wish to Div that he lives a better life than she did.

That was a lot to write....

BUT I hope you guys like the rest of Nash's family and I hope you all have a lovely day!

Characters and art belong to me!

[krikeymate]

Fictober 2023: Day 8: “Give me that, before anything happens.” - Tara has a new toy. Sam isn't happy about it. Featuring Kirby POV. Fandom: Scream Rating: T Warnings: Gun mention.

➖

Entering her apartment, Sam finds a scene she never could have imagined in her wildest dreams. Her best friend, and her sister… they… they… How dare they! How could they betray her like this?

“What the HELL is going on here,” she yells, instantly enraged and slamming the only exit shut behind her. The way Tara jolts away from Kirby, guilt written all over her face, fans the flames in her heart.

Kirby just sighs, tired before it’s even begun.

She knew this was coming.

Sam was always going to find out eventually, she just wishes it had been when Tara was ready. Despite all the progress she’d made since she started therapy, the girl was still so scared of pushing her sister away, of chasing her off for good. Of finding that final straw that makes Sam snap.

Kirby was proud to say that since they’ve come back into one another’s lives, she’s become Tara’s closest confidant – other than Sam. There was so much common ground between them, it’s no wonder the connection was instantaneous.

Most days it feels like they were supposed to be in one another’s lives.

So, Kirby’s fairly damn certain she knows exactly what’s going through Tara’s head right now. She doesn’t need to be a mind reader for that, to know Tara thinks this is it. The last rope of a bridge snapping.

It’s ridiculous, of course it is. Anyone with eyes can see that. But Tara’s not seeing with her eyes, she’s lost in her head, years of anxiety climbing through her body and suffocating her from the inside out.

Kirby knows she needs to de-escalate this, and fast. Sam loves her sister more than anything, and she’d never choose to hurt her, but she’s far from the most tactful of people.

They don’t need brute force right now, she needs Sam to understand.

Understand that Tara isn’t a little girl, that she’s an adult who can make her own choices.

Oh god. She’d take a cult of Ghostface’s right now, over this. Surviving a dozen people out to kill her would be an easier task.

“Sam,” Kirby says, turning to her, hands raised placatingly. “You need to calm down.”

It doesn’t even take a second for her to realise it was the wrong move. She can’t talk to Sam like a cop, she needs to talk to her like the friend she is… if she still is after this.

Shit, now she sounds like Tara.

Maybe they’ve been spending too much time together.

“Calm down?” Sam snaps back, fury in her voice. “How fucking dare you tell me to calm down, when I find you in my own home betraying my trust!”

“Sam, please–”

Tara’s words go unheard as Sam stalks forward to jam a finger into Kirby’s shoulder.

“Sam, stop!”

“I told you no, I told you. And you went ahead and did it anyway. Who the fuck do you think you ar–”

“SAM!”

Tara pulls at her sister’s arm, yanking her back.

“Please don’t be mad at Kirby. This was my decision. My decision!”

The words seem to resonate with Sam. Kirby watches as she deflates, stepping back with a conflicted expression on her face.

Despite her shaking hands, Tara continues.

“Look, I know this isn’t what you wanted, okay. But I… I really think this is for the best. I… I need it, okay. I need it.”

For a moment it seems like she’s getting through to her, but them something changes. Sam’s jaw twitches at the word need, her face hardening.

“No.”

It’s a tone Kirby knows well. Stubborn and final. This battle is lost, for now, she knows.  

“I don’t accept this. Give me that, before anything happens.”

Sam doesn’t wait for Tara to respond before she steps forward and snatches the gun straight from her hands.

Holding it in the air, muzzle raised to the ceiling, Sam stares intently at her sister.

“This is a dangerous weapon, and I won’t have you carrying it. Do you know how easily it could be turned against you? Do you really think this will protect you if Ghostface comes calling again? That you will be more prepared than someone who has stalked us, who knows everything about us?”

Sam swallows and looks at the weapon. “The more you need something, the easier it’ll be to hurt you with it. You can fight against a blade, but you can’t stop a bullet, Tara.”

Kirby turns away for a moment as Tara throws herself at her sister, wrapping her arms around her waist. She tries to push away the guilt creeping in. Maybe it was a mistake, she’d just wanted to help Tara feel safe.

When she looks back up again, Tara’s gone and there’s a gun pointed at her face.

“We need to talk,” Sam declares, twitching it to point at the couch.

They both know the gun is empty, magazine sitting on the table, but Kirby sits anyway.

This is a conversation they need to have.

[yellowhollyhock]

TMNT ask game!

14.) Which version of Splinter is your favorite?

16.) Which version of Casey is your favorite?

33.) What is your favorite thing you've made for TMNT?

14) fave splinter

I have kind of a weird answer, The Next Mutation Splinter

I don't think he's the funniest (rise) or the best dad (2003), but he's a fun balance of being a very warm caring parent and sometimes losing his temper over stupid little things. He apologizes when he's wrong. He's trying to understand Raphael, he listens to Mikey's radio show even though he doesn't enjoy it. He's on the verge of panic when Mikey plans a fundraiser for endangered animals that involves a costume party and being around a ton of people, but instead of shutting it down he goes to his room and lets his nearly adult children make their own choices. He acts as a father to Venus, also nearly an adult, without trying to make her think of him that way (she does anyway on her own), and he talks kindly and often about her father Chung I whom she has just lost.

And then there are some things he does that really annoy me, but that's also kind of why he's my favorite Splinter? You can say of a lot of Splinters that they love their kids and try their hardest but make mistakes informed by their trauma--but it kinda grates my nerves a bit when those 'mistakes' are a consistent pattern of literally smacking them on the head when he's mad or neglecting them pretty severely

Anyways I like that NM Splinter does things like get involved in Leo and Raph's arguments in a very believable way that makes sense for his character, and can say later "I changed my mind." Or that it shows him favoring Venus, which is really understandable considering what she's been through and just the fact that she's new, but does negatively affect her and the boys, yet we also see him reassuring them that she loves them after a spell goes wrong or scolding her and Donnie equally when they get into a fight. I have a step-parent and siblings and I am. Very emotional about Splinter and Venus

Honorable mention to the best parents: 03 Splinter and 90s trilogy Splinter. They're absolutely exemplary

16) fave Casey

tie between 03 "Give me a toaster or give me death" Jones and rise Cassandra

33) fave thing I've made

aww what a nice question!

I'm really attached to and proud of Weak Link, a low stakes family bonding fic of Mikey doubting himself and Leo conspiring to cheer him up. It was one of my first fics and it's really fun for me to reread because it reminds me what stuck out to me on the first watch-through of 03

[berrypass-de-murdler]

70. Death in an Even Darker Alley

So I made every murdler that has a design in Gacha Life now!

All 62 of em, now I have a bucket of little murdlers I can fuck around with

6 more designs left before book 2!!

The book 2 designs are going to be SO CURSED

ANYWAY

Here's one of my earlier designs and one of my all-time favorites, as you've probably seen them before in other drawings! 'Babyface Blue' are 6-year-old twin fish sisters Blue A and Blue Pink who are, indeed, perfectly capable of murder - and they're also Mayor Honey's daughters?? Blue A is the head of the duo and the quieter Blue Pink rarely shows her face, but has big glasses as well.

If they wanted a convincing disguise, maybe the coat shouldn't have four arms.

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

Logico lumbers back to the alley where one of his early cases took place. The beautiful graffiti he admired so much is gone, painted over. It feels so lame. He trips over a dead man.

LOGICO: Hello, dead man.

Suddenly, he’s conveniently surrounded by suspects! Blackstone, Silverton, Shadow (of course), and two kids in a four-armed coat that refer to themselves as ‘Babyface Blue’.

BLUE: We’re an adult! I’m… an adult! ME! (That one!) You’re not here! (Sorry…)

Very convincing. Blackstone is carrying a dead fish. Don't show that to the twins!!!

BLACKSTONE: No reason-

Logico spies Silverton in a dead car, admiring poison. 

SILVERTON: [red] YOU NEVER SAW ME HERE! I WANT BLOOD!! I WANT VENGEANCE!!!!

He can’t run away because he is a slug. The Blues are swinging around a scimitar and it slices one of their hands.

BLUE: (Owww!!) SORRY! WHOOPS- (*cry*) NOOO STOP-

The kids stumble over a fence and their disguise falls clean off.

BLUE: Uhh… I’m his daughters! 

Ignoring the shenanigans, Logico eventually finds Shadow crouching in a dumpster. He stares directly at the beast with courage.

LOGICO: Give it.

Shadow submits, and sheepishly hands a bloody shovel to Logico. 

LOGICO: Now get out here and feel SORRY for what you’ve done. 

Shadow slowly climbs out and sits, pouting. Irratino would be so proud of his short king, finally facing his fears. Logico accidentally snorts thinking about what his reaction would be. Shadow sniggers too. It suddenly laughs with a jarring chipmunk voice effect. They both do. Logico hasn't laughed since Irratino's death.

LOGICO: Wait, no. Who are you? TELL ME. SHADOW: I’m the person who is going to tell you where to find the secret of the ancient ruins: in the desert community of New Aegis. 

Shadow runs away again, and Logi has no choice but to follow.

The end!

To put size into comparison, Logico is the height of one of the twins.

SHORTGICO

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[art-g0blin-draws]

A story about progression, if you have the patience for it.

This is a concept I had over ten years ago, that reached its most current form after the arrival of pokemon scarlet and violet.

In 2013, I made a drawing of an alternate evo for Venusaur that at the time I called ESPasaur. It was designed to evolve from a high-leveled ivysaur that had recovered from pokerus. This was done on a cracked version of paint tool sai, the first art program I’d ever learned how to use.

Its name was ESPasaur because through the use of its mind, it was able to conquer the virus, becoming a grass/psychic type. The thought was there, but i wasn’t very experienced with fakemon stuff, so at the time, i thought it was great, but looking back, i know it had potential, but wasn’t really quite right.

I revisited the concept again in 2017 (not long after gen 7 came out.) This time I referred to it as an alolan venusaur, because of course. Regional variants were the popular thing at the time. This was done on Clip Studio Paint, before they turned against pretty much everyone who offered them patronage.

This time it was a grass/dragon variant. There wasn’t really any reason for it, outside of my love of dragon type. I think i got closer with this one, but i still wasn’t quite there, though at the time i was very proud of this one as well.

I recently revisited the concept again, and as i was with the last two, i am pretty proud of this one. This time, I’m approaching it from the perspective of having it as a paradox pokemon. The Grass/Dark type, Grasping Vine!

This one was a lot of fun. I got an iPad for Christmas. (despite being a 33-year-old adult who earns my own money and lives with my own wife, my mother enjoys encouraging my hobbies. Love you mom.) Since having it, i delved into procreate. Initially the minimalist design was jarring, compared to Sai and Clip studio before, and the stabilization tool was a hot bag of ass until i adjusted it. But i find myself drawn to procreate more and more as i continue to use it.

With this one, i took in some fun facts about ancient plants, as well as utilized some of my own theories about scarlet’s paradox pokemon.

For one, i have a theory that paradox pokemon from scarlet evolved through generations into branching trees of pokemon. For instance, roaring moon is obviously an ancestor to salamence and its more basic forms, bagon and Shelgon. but i theorize that because of its dragon/dark typing and general body structure, it could also be related to hydreigon and its own more basic forms, deino and zweilous!

With that in mind, i gave Grasping vine a “trap” that more closely resembles a carnivine! I also gave it viness that are more actively used to grasp and subdue prey.

So far as fun facts are concerned, there’s a theory among scientists that ancient, prehistoric plants used a molecule called Retinal to create metabolic energy from the sun. Retinal had a purple pigment, and so scientists believe that most of the organisms on early earth would have been purple, supposedly. Scientists believe it predates chlorophyll and photosynthesis!

Also, the flower in its core has a small pool of nectar. It uses that flower to lure pokemon in before the trap leaves snap shut around them. :D

TLDR, if you stick with doing the things you like, you’re going to get better at them. You have no choice but to do so. I don’t get a lot of commissions, but i do this mostly for me anyways. It’s something i love doing. I’m sure years from now I’ll revisit this concept again, and it’ll look even better than grasping vines. But for now, I’m really proud of this one. :D

[kaeyachi]

Hello it is I, the local trans girl kaeya truther <3 anyways I need to hear ur thoughts on mtf/transfem genderqueer kaeya bc u mentioned it on ur recent post and it got me EXCITEDDD

OH BOY I HAVE A LOT OF HCs. mtf, ftm, or genderfluid Kaeya stays on my mind rent free at the penthouse luxury unit with allowances, free wifi, and breakfast buffet.

For now, let's focus with mtf Kaeya!

- Kaeya/Gaia(jp) liking her birth name because it's commonly feminine (it's how I personally feel IRL with having a masc name despite being afab, so I'd like Kaeya to feel the joy and comfort it brings me hehe). If her parents did 1 thing right, it's naming her.

- Kaeya being proud of her chest since it has grown (thru workout for now), leading to the uniform choice. She didn't fully understand why she felt happy about it for a while.

- Same with the corset! She feels better looking at the mirror with the corset on.

- Kaeya feeling comfortable hanging out with the girlies because of having similar interests. It was probably hard to notice when younger because both Jean and Diluc wanted to be knights, and she simply followed them.

- I like the idea of Kaeya figuring out a bit later in life. Being distracted with more pressing issues made it a bit harder to come to terms with how she feels tbh. It was a slow journey, but she got there, and it felt amazing once she realized.

- I want Jean to know first!! Jean would give Kaeya so many hugs and affirmations!! Jean gets another sister (when Barbara found out, she felt the same as Jean)

-re: new skin. Kaeya, still feeling a bit confused and lost when she looks at a mirror, decides to let her full head of hair grow longer instead of just keeping a lovelock. She knows she doesn't need long hair to be more fem, but it makes her feel more secure about her identity.

- Sumeru visits aren't just for wine trade negotiations and learning more about her ancestry. She also went there to ask questions about transitioning

- Kaeya scaring Diluc into thinking she has a terminal illness before telling the redhead the truth lmao. Diluc is glad Kaeya isn't dying and is proud of Kaeya (willing to fund the costs of transition), but he really wants to strangle her first...

- When younger, Adelinde found Kaeya trying on her clothes. Young Kaeya was so mortified at being found that she didn't dare try again despite Adelinde saying it was fine and that she's willing to help her try out more. It took more than a decade before adult Kaeya went to her to accept her offer to help. Adelinde finally gains a daughter she can dress up

- Kaeya finally joining in with the girlies when they have makeover parties and girls night outs! It's the best fun she has ever had and she wants more!!

- the male knights became a bit protective at first when they were told (especially since their captain frequents the bar, and even prior to saying she is mtf, she already had a fair share of admirers and creeps there) until Kaeya reminded them that she can still kick all of their asses in training (and she did kick their asses)

- the female knights feel like they won something. The top 2 people in power right now while Varka is away are women. Technically, only Albedo is the male captain within Mond (technically hehe) (Nation leaders meeting and its all women)

- Alice finding out and offering to help Kaeya to transition!! Albedo, Sucrose, and Lisa are studying more about it to help out as well instead of having Kaeya frequently visit Sumeru

- Klee calling Kaeya "big sis"!! And when playing, Kaeya is now the queen while Klee is her princess

- The abyss order finding out and are unphased, but this is duly noted and they will respect it

I just want mtf Kaeya to be loved by his friends and family!!!

[24anonymus2002]

please read through.

Anorexia is a difficult thing to deal with. Difficult, in reality, is an understatement. It's a horrible, twisted thing that everyone faces. But please. Justifying anorexia won't help. Listen, I too once obsessed with how I looked. I too starved myself. The lengths we go to for beauty is obscene. And let me tell you right now, you're gorgeous. Boy, girl, whoever you are, you're perfect just the way you are. You eyes, your lips, your nose, your body, cherish everything. From me to you, I want you to be strong. I want you to understand the severity of this. There is nothing that's okay with stripping your body of the nutrients needed. Doing this will result in your body slowly dying. Your hair slowly shedding, your teeth and your organs failing to function. I beg of you to realise that starving yourself won't make you 'pretty'. You're killing yourself. Beauty doesn't lie within the body soley, I realised. Life's too short to focus on my body. Recovery will take long. But when you do, realise that we live one life, one life to indulge in things while we can. Let me restate, anorexia is NOT okay. I know, eating is a 'bad' thing to you, and trust me, it isn't. But realise that this can also affect others. There are those who are slowly becoming anorexic, and posts like these won't help. Anorexia isn't something to glorify. It is a full blown disorder. Again, I beg of you to grasp the understanding of that. So far this post has been a little messy, I'll try to put this more organised. Anorexia -

/ˌanəˈrɛksɪə/

noun

an eating disorder characterized by restriction of food intake leading to low body weight, typically accompanied by intense fear of gaining weight and disturbed perception of body weight and image See, now if you look up the definition of anorexia, it states it is an eating disorder. Not a method to be the 'best' of yourself, but a disorder. It hurts when someone tells you you have a disorder. Denial is an obvious choice when someone tells you this. You defend this. You defend the choice to starve yourself. And let me tell you, there is nothing to defend here, love. You're hurting. But this, this is making you hurt you even more. I'll tell you this as many times as I want to, but you are beautiful. You may think, "you don't even know what I look like." I might not. I might not, but I know you are. Whoever, or whatever hurt you and made you think you were never good enough, fuck them. I tell you wholeheartedly, you, as long as you love yourself, will be the most beautiful person in the whole wide world. Your body does not define who you are. Society is ugly. The standards are unreal and toxic. There is absolutely no need to try to fit into the standards. It's not you that's the problem, it's society. The standards change every year, with society's indecisiveness taking a toll on many children, teenagers and adults. In the end, your body is perfectly fine. Ignore everyone else. Understanding that not eating takes a toll on your body too. It destroys your mental health, but I want you to be aware of the consequences too. Without eating, you will die. You might not die now, but you will die faster. "We'll die in the end anyways." Yes, we will. A brutal reality. But listen, if you die earlier, you miss out on a whole lot of experiences. You'll miss out on all the sights, all the adventures, all the relationships that could grow. And things may seem pretty shit right now, and it might continue to be like that for a long time, but trust me when I say it'll be okay. Push through it. Rest. Restricting what you eat is restricting yourself from many things. Please, please, please understand that your organs will stop working slowly, your teeth won't be as strong as they are now, and your bones will become frail. 'Beauty' isn't worth this. Mental health matters. No matter your body shape, your appearance, you are the most stunning person in my eyes. In the end, I'm proud of you for coming this far. I want you to try to heal. I want you to realise the dangers of this. See a counsellor, or talk to someone you trust. Do whatever will help you out of this hell shaken disorder. I'm so so so proud of you. And I love you for trying to change for the better of your health. Remember to stay hydrated, and try to eat well, slowly, and at your pace.

Love you again,

anonymus

[windsongs2]

I'm a Christian, my child is a transgender woman (born male became female.)

I accept her fully I believe the God loves all cuz that's what the Bible says if you read the Bible it says Jesus loves all not just some of the people but all.

In today's world where groups hating another group and this person hate this person. it's really sad because that's not the way God wants.

read the Bible there's nothing in there (and I've read the Bible many many times) that says to hate transgenders, hate gays hate lesbians, hate people with purple hair and so on. but it does take he says love everyone.

My daughter's choices are between her and God and Jesus.

I raised my daughter to know God I took her to church, we did the VBS, Sunday school and listen to Christian music and when she became an adult she knew what was going on.

It doesn't not make me a bad parent because my daughter chose to be a transgender. It does not make me a bad person

And it does not make her a bad person for being a transgender person she's a good person, she cares she loves, she knows right from wrong and she makes me proud.

I will love her to her dying day or to my dying day.

there's nothing that will keep me from loving her.

she may never want to talk to me That's okay I still love her.

and I do pray for her NOT that she'll turn back to the person I knew growing up, that is a boy. I PRAY that she is happy, healthy and to know I love her. I also pray that she will find Jesus . Cause Jesus loves all... The body you have it is just a wrapping paper.. what's important is what inside.. that's what Jesus is concerned about .

I don't wish that if that's going to make her unhappy, if that's going to stress her out and if that's going to make her have problems. I don't wish that.

I want her to be who she is today a beautiful loving person

She wants me to go to therapy with her so she can discuss all the things I did wrong I did things wrong.

I was single parent when I've been married to an idiot ex-husband I was still single.

he didn't want to do anything with her I had to force him to do stuff with her.

All he wanted to do was hurt her.

All he wanted to do is make her feel bad and I tried so hard not to let that happen.

But as best as I could do there were times where I wasn't there to help her.

It wasn't my fault It wasn't her fault, The blame totally lays on the ex-husband.

I didn't have much money to give her everything that a child should have. I ran up credit card debt so she could have good Christmases, so she could have food and clothing.

I ran it up that so much I couldn't pay it off which left me with bad credit for years. luckily for me I had a father who came along and paid it off for me. God bless him cuz for that him I would be in jail

I wanted so much to get away from this guy (my ex) when my daughter was small but I didn't make much money, My ex husband made more money than me.

And I knew there was a very good chance that if I divorced my ex back then that he would get the child not me.

that he could provide my child with a stable future and a house

I couldn't at that time and sometimes it cried myself to sleep because I couldn't help My daughter. I wanted to get us both out of the situation we were in, but I stayed because I knew that if that monster abuser idiot ever got a chance to keep her, that she would have been so much worse off than she is now.

she would have been abused more there wouldn't be a life for her really and I couldn't stand that thought. so I stayed with the abuser so I let him hit, me I let him yell at me, I let him do whatever he wanted but I protected my daughter from that.

there was only a couple times I couldn't be there and I regret those times even now. it breaks my heart but I also knew I did the right thing cuz I did not let her go through that alone and I was knew that she was better off then without me.

anyway she wants me to see a therapist with her so she can tell me everything I did wrong.

Why don't I?

because I Went to a therapist when I was four or five or six years old. My mom took me to one, I looked at the guy and I hated him before even stepped through those doors and had a talk with him or whatever

I hated him I didn't know why that I really hated that guy she took me there because she thought I was lying too much. I was a kid, kids lie especially when they think they're going to get in trouble duh

So after a couple months of no progress My mom decided not to take me.

I remember one time coming out of his office he was carrying me and I so much hated that I mean every nerve every cell in my body wanted to kill that guy and I didn't know why.

I was crying so much and I think he told my mom the reason i was crying was cuz I stubbed my toe or something stupid like that

Well after a couple more months I heard my mom and dad talking about that this guy.. this therapist had lost his license probably put in jail .

Why? Cuz he was caught sexually abusing the boys in his care.

yeah I hated the guy before I met him. I have such a extreme good intuition about people that when I was young I knew that person was evil.

My family never talked about it never ask me if I remember being abused, never asked me any questions.

they just didn't talk about it and that's what they do.. they don't talk about what happened. It just goes under the rig and they act like nothing's happen.

Am I damaged because of that maybe.

The only damage I really know of is I will not go to therapist. I don't care if it's online/offline or anywhere I don't believe in them, I don't like them.

therefore this gal is never going to one. I don't care what you say I am like ___ years old and I've been doing good all my life I don't need a fucking therapist now at my stage of life.