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miguel-manbemel · 3 years

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Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 56: Return to the Cave of Doom - Part 4: Facing the Paladin

At long last, this is the conclusion of the finale of this season of the main storyline in this blog. With this one, it's been 56 episodes between both seasons and I want to thank everyone who took a moment to read any of the episodes.

I'm making it sound like this is a definite ending to the story. It is not, although I'm gonna take a break from it, because in the past few episodes, I felt a little loss of motivation, and like I was running out of ideas for the story. It's better to stop and think about what I want to do with the story rather than continuing without a clear perspective of where I want to go with it.

This doesn't mean I'm leaving this account. Not at all, I'll still be posting stuff like short stories, my usual musical tales, the newfound photo-comics which have been very liked by so many people... So, I'll still be here for a long time. And enough talking. It's time to leave you with the ending of the season, and I hope it fits your expectations. Until next time.

SYNOPSIS: The gang have finally arrived to the castle. There, they'll have to face the Paladin before his possession of Dillon becomes irreversible. Will the attack they learned in the Core be enough to defeat him? And will Patton resist the devastating secondary effects of such strong attack?

WARNINGS: Romantic prinxiety, logicality, dukeceit and karrot kings. Mentions to stabbing.

EPISODE INDEX

[the gang stare at the castle from a distance]

PATTON: Do you really think that it works for anything staying here watching from afar, kiddo? They probably know that we’re here already.

THOMAS: Most probably, but still we need to examine the situation, at least in the outside of the castle. There doesn’t seem to be a high number of ghouls guarding the doors. Could it be that we’ve set free most of them already?

HEIGHT: No, Thomas. We’ve set many free, but there are still hundreds of ghouls under Paranoia’s spell.

ROMAN: We truly could use the help of those we set free. If we’re gonna have to face an army, we’re gonna need reinforcements.

VERTIGO: I’m sure they’ll be ready when the battle starts. You don’t know the power of recovery of ghouls. And besides, apart from the one who attacked me, most of them really were unharmed. I’m sure they’re already on their way here.

JANUS: In the meantime, we’ll have to play the sneaky card and try to slip into the castle unnoticed, if possible.

LOGAN: If only we knew the castle’s configuration… There has to be a backdoor somewhere, even if only to secure the Paladin an easy retreat if things turn out against him.

HEIGHT: We’d wish to help you, but we have no idea. This building was made by Paranoia, it is a foreign construction for us.

REMUS: If they already know we’re here, I say we should attack upfront with everything we’ve got. Let’s surprise them in their own league.

THOMAS: The point is that at least some of us make it into the castle alive, Remus.

LOGAN: No, wait… Remus may be up to something…

THOMAS: He is?

REMUS: I am? I am!

LOGAN: I don’t mean a suicidal attack like the one you proposed, Remus, but perhaps, some of us could serve as a decoys and lure some of the guards away from their posts, and in the meantime the rest of us could sneak into the castle.

VIRGIL: But what about the decoys? Are they going to sacrifice themselves just like that?

REMUS: I offer myself as tribute.

JANUS: What? Remus! That’s suicidal!

REMUS: We have no choice, Janus. Someone has to do it, and the one who can make such an idiotic attack believable is the only one idiotic enough to try it, me. You know that I’m right.

HEIGHT: I’m going with you.

REMUS: What?

HEIGHT: Someone among the ghouls has to do it, and I’m not having Vertigo risking his life again. It’s my turn now.

VERTIGO: But Height…

HEIGHT: Don’t worry, I won’t let them get me, and if we have the chance, I’ll rejoin you later.

VERTIGO: You better will.

[Vertigo kisses Height]

REMUS: What about me, Jan? Don’t I get a kiss too?

JANUS: No, you don’t, I’m mad at you.

REMUS: [wiggling his eyebrows] You mean mad for me, right?

JANUS: No, I don’t! You’re always putting yourself in stupid dangers like this and I can’t stand it! Don’t you see that I worry about you and that, even if you don’t have common sense, I do for both of us and I don’t want anything bad happening to you?

REMUS: So… you are mad for me, admit it.

JANUS: [exasperated] Ugh… You’re such an idiot… Why did I have to fall for an idiot like you, I’ll never understand.

[Janus kisses Remus]

JANUS: You’ll better come back in one piece.

REMUS: I will. I promise. Okay, let’s go, ghoul.

HEIGHT: I’ve got a name, Dark Side.

REMUS: I know, ghoul.

HEIGHT: Urgh…

[Height and Remus start advancing to the castle]

ROMAN: [sighs] If the guards don’t kill them, they’re gonna kill each other before the end of the day… I don’t know if it’s a good idea to send the two of them together for this.

THOMAS: Well, good or bad idea, there’s no turning back. The guards have already seen them. Oh, wow, Remus almost crushed that guard’s head with his Morningstar. His head is gonna be in pain for more than a week.

ROMAN: Look, more guards are getting out of the castle. And they’ve started running through that path…

VIRGIL: …but that path leads to the rock-slide. They’re gonna get trapped if they go that way!

VERTIGO: They still have a long way before they reach the rock slide, so we’d better move to free the ghouls before they reach that dead end.

ROMAN: Yes, and also, Dillon’s time won’t last much longer either. Follow me, guys.

[the gang walks as sneakily as they can, but they find no obstacles and reach the front door with no one greeting them]

JANUS: Wait a minute…

ROMAN: What? We can’t stop in the middle of the doorway, Janus, we’re an easy prey here.

JANUS: This is just too easy. I think this is a trap.

THOMAS: Do you think so?

JANUS: The Paladin controls all the ghouls. He probably knows everything that has happened in the defile and is playing cat-and-mouse with us. And I’m afraid we’re the mice.

THOMAS: Well, mice or not, we need to get into the castle. The Paladin thinks he’s got us, but we’ve got some hidden aces, as you know. Besides, we have to get into the castle anyway, with or without trap, Dillon’s life depends on it.

JANUS: [sighs] You’re right. But we must stay alert.

THOMAS: As usual, then.

[the gang enters the castle. They find no one inside and the throne room door is open]

PALADIN: [voice from the throne room, yelling] Come in, already, we don’t have all day! I know you’re there and you know that I know you’re there, so why prolonging the inevitable? Come here and face your destiny.

[the gang enters the throne room. The Paladin is there, inside Dillon’s body. He’s now wearing a dark royal outfit with a black crown. His eyes are two crimson flames and he shows an unsettling grin. Around him, there are dozens of ghouls ready to attack. Paranoia is sitting on a throne next to him. He shows the same evil grin]

VIRGIL: My God, look at his eyes… What have you down to my son, you bastard!?

PALADIN: Is that the way of greeting your son after so many weeks, dad?

VIRGIL: I’m not your dad and you’re not my son. But you’re usurping his body. Leave my child alone!

PALADIN: Blah, blah, blah… this is getting monotonous, isn’t it? You are outnumbered. You know you can’t do anything against me, and… [the door behind them slams as it closes] … you can’t escape from this room and no one can get in. You just walked into the lion’s dent, and the funniest thing is you already knew. You’re in my hands now.

THOMAS: Think twice, Paladin. You’re gonna regret letting us into this room so easily. We’re coming for you, in case you didn’t notice, and we’re gonna put an end to your reign of terror in this cave once and for all.

PALADIN: Ooh, I’m shaking… You and what army?

ROMAN: This army!

[Roman points at the closed door. Nothing happens. Crickets are heard in the silence]

VIRGIL: [whispering, anxiously] What are you doing, Roman?

ROMAN: Dang it, it always works on the movies. And I hoped our friends would be here by this time…

PALADIN: [beat, then clears his throat] Well… this is fun… but, like I said, it’s time for you to face destiny. [to the ghouls] Capture Thomas and Patton alive and unharmed, we don’t want cataclysms in my domains, do we? As about the others… kill them.

THOMAS: Not so fast. Nico, are you ready?

NICO: Ready if you are.

[Thomas and Nico hold hands and a bright aura surrounds them]

PALADIN: [smirks] Are you sure you guys want to do that? One more blow like the one in the defile could be Patton’s last, and if he dies, as Patton is a former Master, without him all of the Mind Palace would collapse and Thomas would die. Are you willing to take that risk?

[Thomas doubts and the aura disappears]

PALADIN: Didn’t think so… Get them, my pets.

PATTON: Kiddos, don’t worry about me! Do whatever you must!

THOMAS: But the Paladin, even if a son of a b… is right. We can’t take the risk. If we destroy you, we would all die.

NICO: Dios, no…

PATTON: Gosh… I’m so sorry I’m so weak and useless, kiddos. But still, you must try. I don’t think I would die, I feel strong enough to cope at least with one more attack.

THOMAS: Still, it scares me that…

PATTON: [determined] Please, kiddos, trust me. I can cope. For all of you, I will cope!

THOMAS: Okay… As you wish, Patton, I’ll trust you. Let’s do it, Nico.

NICO: Okay… Like I said, I’ll go to the end of the world with you. Let’s hope it’s not the end of this world…

[Thomas and Nico hold hands again and the aura reappears]

PALADIN: No! Have you lost your common sense!? If you destroy Patton, you’ll destroy all of us! Stop it!

PARANOIA: [running towards the Paladin] My lord, be careful!

[the aura gets brighter and brighter, until it explodes in a wave at light speed. All the ghouls surrounding the gang groan and fall down unconscious. Paranoia puts himself in front of the Paladin, acting as a shield and gets all the strength of the attack]

PARANOIA: For my lord and owner, always! Gaaaah!!!

[Paranoia explodes in a cloud of smoke. When the smoke disperses, there’s no sign of him. There’s a few seconds of silence. The ghouls in the castle start waking up]

GHOUL #1: What’s happened…

GHOUL #2: I remember everything… but it’s the first time I can move my arms on my own free will in months…

GHOUL #3: I’m free…

VIRGIL: Your reign of terror is over, Paladin. You have lost your army and the control of this Cave.

[the front doors open. The ghouls from the defile come in]

VIRGIL: All the Ghouls from this Cave are out of your control now, and they’re demanding justice. If you don’t surrender now and free my son, you’ll only be making things worse for you.

PALADIN: Do you really think this is all over? Look at Patton.

[everyone looks at Patton. His body is shaking and he’s showing signs of being under indescribable pain]

VIRGIL: [scared] Dad? Are you okay!?

[Patton doesn’t say a word. Suddenly his face relaxes and he collapses on the floor]

VIRGIL: [running towards Patton] Dad!

LOGAN: [also running to him] Patton!

[the Paladin tries to walk to the back door, but he’s quickly surrounded by ghouls. Virgil kneels down and puts Patton’s head on his legs. Logan puts his hand on Patton’s chest. An indigo aura surrounds both Patton and Logan]

VIRGIL: How is Patton, Logan?

[the indigo aura disappears]

LOGAN: He’s just passed out. He honored his promise of coping with Thomas’ attack and not dying… but he just couldn’t resist the pain. It made him faint. In a few minutes, he’ll wake up.

VIRGIL: Thank goodness…

LOGAN: But in the meantime…

THOMAS: [his voice sounds like an automaton] What? Why are you all so concerned? He’ll wake up when he has to. Now we gotta kill that Paladin.

NICO: Thomas?

THOMAS: Would you mind letting go of my hand? It’s sweaty and it’s disgusting.

NICO: What…?

LOGAN: Just as I feared. Patton is Thomas’ feelings and morality. With him out, Thomas simply lacks the capacity to feel love and compassion, not to mention to distinguish between right and wrong.

NICO: That means…?

LOGAN: That means that, in this state, Thomas has stopped loving you, Nico. I’m sorry. That also means that your attack against the Paladin is disabled for the time being. But don’t worry, as soon as Patton wakes up…

PALADIN: I won’t give you the time! Everyone freeze! If anyone moves, I’ll kill this son of a b…!

[the Paladin has grabbed one of the ghouls and is threatening him with a dagger]

VIRGIL: Don’t make things worse for you, Paladin! Leave that ghoul alone!

PALADIN: Do you think I’m stupid? I know how your plan goes next and what awaits me if I let you get me. And I swear I’ll kill him and anyone that threatens me. And remember I’m still inside Dillon’s body. If you hurt me, it’s him you’re hurting! Who knows? Maybe if you force me, I’ll stab myself just to see you in despair over losing your precious son!

ROMAN: You bastard! You f***ng, f****ng bastard!

PALADIN: Thank you, Roman, your compliments flatter me. Now let me go, or first the ghoul and then your son will perish!

NICO: Thomas, you gotta do something!

THOMAS: Let them kill each other, for all I care…

NICO: Thomas, I know this is not you. This is just that your love engine has stalled, that’s all. But I know, inside yourself, you still love us. You still love me. Please, remember your love for us, Thomas. Please!

[Thomas looks at Nico with disdain. Nico, not knowing what do to, hugs Thomas and then kisses him. At first, Thomas timidly tries to push Nico back, but Nico has Thomas well hugged and doesn’t move an inch. After a couple of seconds, he stops struggling. And a couple more seconds later, Thomashugs Nico and kisses him back, passionately. There’s a flash around him, a flash that also happens around Patton, who wakes up]

PATTON: Ooof… What happened?

VIRGIL: Dad, are you okay?

PATTON: I think so…

[Thomas and Nico stop kissing. Thomas smiles at Nico]

THOMAS: Thank you for helping me start my love engine again, Nico. I’m sorry for what I said.

NICO: [smiling happy] It’s okay, Thomas. I’m so happy to see you back.

THOMAS: Patton, are you okay?

PATTON: Yes, kiddo. Everything hurts, though, but I think I can stand up. But I don’t think I could stand one more blow, guys, I’m very sorry.

THOMAS: Don’t worry, I don’t think it will be necessary to use that attack again.

PATTON: What? And why is that?

THOMAS: You see, when Nico kissed me and ignited my feelings back, when I felt that flash… for a moment it was like I was one with you, Patton. In that state, suddenly I heard two voices in my head.

NICO: Two voices?

THOMAS: It was the Light Master… and the Dark Master, loud and clear as we heard them in the Core. They told me that, for the sake of not losing the Mind Palace to the Paladin, they had agreed to a temporal truce. They’re both gonna work as a team to help me defeat the Paladin, although I’m gonna need your help Patton.

PATTON: My help?

THOMAS: Stand behind me and put your hand on my back, and lend me any strength you have left.

PATTON: Like when we did the rainbow attack?

THOMAS: Sort of, but I just need you to balance and manifest the Light and Dark energies in me. Like when you touched me and made the Light Master speak through me, remember?

PATTON: Yes. Okay, kiddo, I’ll do my best.

[Patton, with the help of Logan, gets in place and puts his hand on Thomas’ shoulder]

PALADIN: Hey, I told you not to move! Do you really think I’m gonna let you…

THOMAS: [demonic voice, his eyes spark in green] Shut up!

[suddenly it’s as if an invisible fist punches the Paladin right on the face]

PALADIN: Aw! What the… Ow!

[the invisible fist punches the Paladin again, stunning him. He drops the dagger and the ghoul frees himself]

THOMAS: [now with a warm voice, his eyes spark in blue]Everyone make way. This won’t hurt any ghouls, but just in case.

[the ghouls open a free way between Thomas and the Paladin. The Paladin is still stunned. He shakes his head, regaining full consciousness and realizes what is going on]

PALADIN: Thomas! Don’t! You will regret it if you do this! You can’t get rid of me and you know it!

[Thomas points at the Paladin with his finger, like the Dark Master used to do, but this time his finger shines in gray instead of black]

THOMAS: Maybe you’ll always be a part of me until I die, Paladin. But at least you’ll never be a problem for my fam while the Core remains standing. Goodbye, Paladin.

PALADIN: [horrified] The Core? No! NO!

[Thomas shoots a gray beam through his finger. It hits the Paladin in the chest]

PALADIN: AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

[The Paladin opens his mouth wide. A crimson smoke starts coming out of it. As more smoke comes out, forming a cloud, the eyes in the body he was possessing, previously in bright flames, slowly fade away, until they’re normal brown. At that moment, the smoke stops surging and Dillon collapses on the ground. The crimson cloud turns then into a whirlwind, moving in all directions, knocking down any ghouls it bumps into. It starts moving in Roman’s direction]

VIRGIL: Watch out, Roman! I think that now that he’s lost his host, the Paladin wants to return into your body!

THOMAS: [with blue eyes and a warm but concerned voice]The first attack took a lot of energy from us, we need to recharge before attacking again!

ROMAN: [scared] Oh, no! Guys, don’t let him take me!

VIRGIL: Don’t you dare touch my husband, you b*tch!

[the whirlwind knocks Virgil down. Roman, scared, walks backwards until he bumps on the back wall]

ROMAN: [scared, on the verge of crying] I don’t want to feel that sickness again…

VIRGIL: [on the floor, scared] Roman!

[Suddenly, a red whip hits the whirlwind. A high pitch sound that looks like wind whistling through a window, and at the same time as a high pitch scream of pain, comes from the whirlwind, which turns back into a cloud. Everyone looks in the direction where the whip came from. Dillon has stood up and his looking at the cloud with a face of anger]

DILLON: You didn’t even let me say hello to my parents before you took control of me, you b*st*rd! Stay away from my father, you son of a b*tch!

THOMAS: Thank you, Dillon. Now we’re ready.

[Thomas points with his finger at the ground under the cloud. A new beam surges from his finger, but this time it hits the ground. When it’s gone, there’s what looks like a round crystal ball with a little hole on top]

THOMAS: As you yourself said, Paladin, it’s time for you to face your destiny!

[A gray light comes out of the crystal ball, touching the crimson cloud. The same high pitch whistling sound is heard while the cloud is absorbed into the crystal ball, which turns all crimson. When the light disappears, the hole disappears with it, making a solid, hermetically closed crystal ball, and all the sounds get silent]

THOMAS: Done… the crystal ball will hold him long enough to send him to the Core forever. He was right, though. Sending him into the Core will mean that my disorder will always be a part of me, but that was a given anyway, and as long as I keep my treatment, I’ll be fine.

ROMAN: Dillon? You… rescued me. [emotional] I came here to rescue you and in the end it was you who rescued me…

DILLON: It’s nice to meet you at last… father. And dad, are you okay?

[Virgil stands up, then looks at Dillon and his eyes fill with black tears]

VIRGIL: For the first time in months… I’m better than ever, and happier than I’ll ever be…

DILLON: [also emotional] Dad, father! I longed for this moment for so long!

[Dillon runs to them both, and the three join in a hug. As they do, Dillon’s body shines in brown. After a spark, his whole outfit has changed. He’s now wearing a brown tunic, resembling a monk, and there’s a wooden staff on the floor next to him. The whip he used as a weapon is tied to his waist as a belt. It is colored in red. He’s also wearing a purple medallion]

JANUS: What happened?

LOGAN: It seems that now that the Paladin is no longer inside him, Dillon is showing his true colors… literally. He’s the brown Side.

JANUS: But brown is not a color derivative from red and purple.

LOGAN: And he sports the red and purple in the whip and the medallion.

DILLON: Don’t overthink it, guys, it’s just that I dig the brown, and I don’t wanna have anything to do with crimson color ever again.

LOGAN: Oh, okay…

ROMAN: Tell me one thing, Dillon. Those nights when I would go to the door of the Cave until I fell asleep… I had memories of a very sweet lullaby coming from the other side of the door… Even though I always had the suspicion it was you, I thought I was dreaming until the Core told us. It was really you, right?

DILLON: When Thomas fell asleep at night… it was the only moments I was free from his influence, because the Paladin fell asleep too. I, like dad, can stay awake if I want to. The first night, I left the castle and went to the door. It was locked, of course, so I couldn’t get to the Mind Palace. And besides, everyone would be sleeping so it was useless and dangerous to try and unlock it, if it was possible. But I peeped through the hole, looking at the room at the other side. That was my distraction many nights, until one night I saw you there, next to the door, desperately fighting slumber. How I longed to make my presence known, but before I could say anything, you fell asleep completely. So, I decided to sing you lullabies every night. It was the only way I thought I could communicate to you that I was there, that I was still fighting, and that I loved you. I’m happy to know that you heard me, even if you thought it was a dream.

[Roman, all emotional, hugs Dillon and kisses him on the forehead]

ROMAN: I love you too, my son… and I swear that nothing will get between us ever again.

[Remus and Height enter the room, followed by the ghouls that had chased them]

REMUS: I’m back, did you miss me?

JANUS: It is you who’s missed all the fun here, look.

REMUS: Oh, dang-it… Is that… my nephew?

DILLON: It is, uncle. Nice to meet you too, and all of you too, fam.

REMUS: [emotional] Well…

HEIGHT: Aren’t you forgetting something, Dark Side?

REMUS: Oh, oh, yes, I did. You see, guys, we were running up the path… until we got lost in the caves.

VIRGIL: Oh, dang, I forgot, the illusions. You risked your lives going there on your own.

REMUS: The ghouls kept chasing us, while we kept running. When we realized we were lost, I said that we should face them upfront.

HEIGHT: As usual in him. Is he always that reckless in battle?

JANUS: Of course he isn’t.

HEIGHT: You’re lying, right?

JANUS: No, I’m saying the truth: Usually he’s even worse.

HEIGHT: Oh…

REMUS: As I was saying, we kept running, until… who do you think we bumped into in the middle of the caves? Ta-dah!

[some ghouls spread out and reveal Chris behind them]

VIRGIL: Chris! What are you doing here?

CHRIS: How could you, guys? How could you leave to face the Paladin without me? I wanted to participate in Dillon’s rescue as much as anyone!

VIRGIL: You were in Sandersia. How did you find out?

CHRIS: We still have the crystal ball that Roman gave to Roland to check where he was. I wanted to see how you guys were doing, and I saw all of you in the cave, right in the defile. Even though Roland tried to stop me, I got to the carriage and headed to the Cave as fast as my legs would let me. Then I got lost in the caves…

VIRGIL: Wait, wait, how did you open the door? I got the key chain.

CHRIS: I got the backup key chain. The copy that the Paladin made was still in your room. Knowing you, I knew I would find it under your pillow in your bed, and bingo, there it was.

VIRGIL: My gosh, it was such an act of recklessness, Chris, you knew there were illusions in the cave and you shouldn’t have…

CHRIS: And you shouldn’t have gone to the Cave without me! I could have been of help when everyone was shooting at you in the defile! You know I’m the best archer in the team!

ROMAN: We couldn’t wait anymore, Chris. Dillon’s time was almost over, and you were too far away in Sandersia. I hope you understand.

CHRIS: Okay, what’s done, is done, and I understand. Just warn a dude next time, okay?

DILLON: I appreciate the sentiment anyway, brother.

CHRIS: Dillon… You look… different. Brown really suits you, although you look just like you’ve escaped from the abbey in The Name of the Rose.

DILLON: I dunno, I like it. And I promise I won’t make you read a poisoned book or anything…

CHRIS: [chuckles] Oh, just shut up and hug me, brother!

[the two brothers hug tightly]

ROMAN: You left your story unfinished, Remus. What happened after you bumped into Chris?

REMUS: Bah, the rest is kinda boring. Suddenly the ghouls chasing us stopped and went back to their senses, and they helped us walk through the cave and back to the castle.

ROMAN: I see. That was probably when Paranoia blew away. What I don’t understand is why he was the only ghoul destroyed by the light wave, while all other ghouls just came back to their senses.

VIRGIL: Well, he wasn’t an ordinary ghoul. He was created by the Paladin, so he was pure evil. There was nothing to be saved from him, that’s why he hit the dust.

ROMAN: Ah, gotcha.

REMUS: Jeez, I missed all the fun. I wish I could have seen that son of a b… blow away.

JANUS: You’ll never change, Remus…

HEIGHT: I cannot thank you guys enough for what you’ve done for us. You’ve freed my people.

THOMAS: Glad that we could help.

VIRGIL: I’m sorry I let this place go to waste. As your king, I had a responsibility with you and I didn’t deliver, so I apologize.

HEIGHT: It’s forgotten, your majesty.

VIRGIL: I have to return now to the Mind Palace. I’m still a Side, and Thomas and the others need me. However, I won’t leave you all alone, not completely.

HEIGHT: Then how…?

VIRGIL: I’m leaving here a couple of regent governors who will be my eyes and ears about everything happening here. I’m gonna trust them with the administration of the Cave and I’m sure they’ll do everything in their hand so that something like this never happens again.

[Virgil invokes a couple of purple crystal balls]

VIRGIL: Height, Vertigo, are you willing to take this task in your hands? I couldn’t think of anyone better than you for it and I trust you with all my heart. What do you say?

HEIGHT: Oh, wow… this was unexpected, your majesty. What do you think, Vertigo?

VERTIGO: If it’s your desire, your majesty, I accept.

VIRGIL: Not because it’s my desire, I want you to make the choice on your own free will. Forget that I’m a king or anything and think of me as an emo friend. What do you say?

VERTIGO: I’m in.

HEIGHT: Me too. Thank you, your majesty, for the trust you put in us.

VIRGIL: Please, don’t call me your majesty. It’s much too formal and we’re friends. Just call me Virgil, or even better, just call me Virge.

HEIGHT: Okay… Virge.

THOMAS: Well, I think we should be going now. It’s gonna be a long way to return to Virgil’s room. Then we’ll go to the Mind Palace Center and throw this ball of sss… smoke where it belongs.

VIRGIL: You can use the crystal balls to contact me, should some emergency happen.

HEIGHT: Got it. I’d wish Rejection was here to see this moment of joy… I’ll miss him so much.

REMUS: Speaking about Rejection… I wanted to apologize over how I treated you earlier. I had no right to be so threatening when you were just moaning over your loss.

HEIGHT: It’s okay. We were all nervous and distressed over what had just happened. I apologize too, I was too harsh over you when in reality what happened would have happened anyway as it was luck what decided our destinies.

REMUS: I’m glad we could talk this out, even briefly, before we left. I would have hated to leave on bad terms with you, ghoul.

HEIGHT: [chortles] Yes, but all’s well that ends well, Dark Side.

CHRIS: What are they talking about?

ROMAN: We’ll tell you on the way. Okay, goodbye everyone. I wish you many years of peace in this cave.

VIRGIL: Until we meet again, everyone. Goodbye!

[The gang heads towards the galleries. They keep talking about all kinds of things while they take the way back to the Mind Palace]

[end card]

[days have passed. Nico is having lunch with Thomas in the living room]

NICO: Why do you keep saying you can’t cook, Thomas? I think you’re an excellent chef, if you ask for my opinion.

THOMAS: Thanks, Nico, it’s just that when I know you're coming over for lunch, I take the effort to do it the best that I can.

NICO: Well, it shows, certainly.

THOMAS: You flatter me.

NICO: Thomas…

THOMAS: Yes?

NICO: I’ve been thinking of something lately. An idea that hasn’t left my mind in the last few days.

THOMAS: What is it?

NICO: Remember what I told you when we got out of the Core? That since we got out, I felt like I was a part of you and you were a part of me too, and we were like one, destined to be together for all of our lives?

THOMAS: Yes, I do.

NICO: I still feel like that. To the point that every moment I spend away from you… it’s like a part of me is missing, you know? Wow, that sounds really clingy, I’m sorry…

THOMAS: Don’t apologize, I feel the same too. And it’s weird, because you’re not my first boyfriend. Like I told you, I had a very bad breakup a couple years ago with someone I really felt close to… but even so, that story pales in comparison with ours. I never ever felt this way for anyone. I never felt what I feel for you before in my life. It’s like I never really loved until I started loving you back at the mall.

NICO: Which leads to my question.

[Nico approaches Thomas and holds both of his hands]

NICO: I understand that this is sudden and I’ll understand if you don’t feel ready… But I think… that we are ready to live together in the same house, as an official couple.

THOMAS: You make it sound like a marriage proposal, Nico.

NICO: It’s too soon for that, but if it wasn’t that soon, it is exactly what it would be… Look, I even got the ring and everything.

[Nico pulls out a box from a pocket, opens it and shows a shining diamond ring]

THOMAS: Oh… my goodness…

NICO: So, what do you say? Do you accept me as your partner in life?

THOMAS: Only if you accept me too… Because, you see… [Thomas picks up another box from his pocket and opens it, with another diamond ring inside] You’re not the only one who was planning on proposing today, you know?

[Nico looks at Thomas with a face of surprise. Then they both start laughing lively and put each ring on each other’s finger]

NICO: We’re truly one mind split into two bodies, aren’t we?

THOMAS: Yep, we’re meant for each other and I can’t wait to start our life together.

[Nico and Thomas kiss. In Roman’s corner, Roman and Virgil watch the scene, Roman is crying like a baby and Virgil’s eyeshadow shines in glittery purple]

ROMAN: Aren’t they cute, Virge?

VIRGIL: Yes they are. And I have no doubt they’ll live happily ever after. And I’ll deny having said that sappy phrase, okay?

ROMAN: Okay, my love. Let’s go back home, okay?

VIRGIL: Yes…

[Roman and Virgil look at the camera]

ROMAN: Until next time, take it easy, guys, gals and non binary pals.

VIRGIL: Peace out!

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gffa · 4 years

Note

Hi anon again. I used ellipses, didn't know. I'm sorry. I don't remember what I said exactly but in short part (1/2) was me lamenting how I discussed a Star Wars book on reddit and mentioned, among many other things, that it was sexist. I've been insulted by everyone who bothered to comment for two days now and I'm just tired of this hatred, and rudeness, and hatred of prequels, and hatred of Jedi. And I know it's kind of my fault because

because I should have said it in a gentler way because people like this book and I offered them. But to be honest they got to me. I didn't think they would, but they really managed to hurt my feelings. And I know I sound like a teenager and not an older woman that I am, but I am just so tired of all this negativity and people's first reaction to be cruel. I am glad your Tumblr exists. Sorry for dumping all this on you. 2/2) And they just got so personal and insulting... they got to me. I didn't think they would, but they really hurt me. I just want to crawl away and enjoy Star Wars on my own. I am so tired of insults and attacks about a fictional work that should bring us joy. But I also want to share with others and I just keep on coming back for more. I sound like a teenager finding myself, but I'm an old woman, I should know better. Sorry to bother you but your Tumblr feels like a refuge sometimes. - D.L.

I’m glad you came back (tumblr is strange, if you don’t know about these things--BECAUSE TUMBLR NEVER TELLS US THESE THINGS, WE HAVE TO FIGURE THEM OUT FOR OURSELVES--there’s no need to apologize, we figure these things out as we go!) but I’m very sorry that you’ve been going through this. As someone who’s been hurt by a lot of the shitty things people have leveled at me in this fandom, my advice is based on what helped me, but hopefully it can help you as well. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t (it may not for everyone!), I still offer you my sympathy and empathy both. First off, give yourself permission to be hurt and upset for awhile, take that pressure off yourself to just get over it, because piling extra guilt on will only make it longer. Recognize that you’re human, you’re going to go through these feelings, it’s part of being a regular thinking person and is the first step to being able to let go. Second, after you have some time letting yourself be upset about it, recognize that these are people who are not worth the time and vulnerability from you. It still burns when they react like this, Star Wars is a hell fandom, but ultimately they’re not the people you really care about their opinions of you. I get that it’s hard for people to hear criticisms of their favorites, literally everyone is like that, especially when we disagree on what constitutes “valid criticism”, what is valid for one person to level at a book isn’t going to be valid for the next person--the trick is in respecting boundaries, that you can’t overwrite the other person’s view of it, just as they can’t overwrite yours. And resorting to personal attacks and personal derogatory commentary (which happens a lot in this fandom) is a really shitty thing people do that you have to figure out how you want to deal with it--do you want to fire back? do you want to rise above it? do you want to leave? I ask these honestly, there’s no right or wrong answer, only the one that will work for you. (It’s a question I ask myself a lot. Is it fair that people make shitty vague blogs about me? No, but they’re going to do so anyway, so what’s my response? What can I handle? What do I want to handle? What’s my response, given that I probably cannot change this about fandom.) Maybe you were more aggressive than you had to be, but that’s still not a reason for them to respond with personal insults. The only thing that’s on you is to decide what amount of this kind of reaction you can/want to handle, not that you’re responsible for other people’s shitty behavior. One of the major ways I dealt with fandom being so overwhelmingly anti-prequels and anti-Jedi is that I set up my camp here on tumblr, I established my boundaries, I enforced them hard (mostly through blocking because I was not up to pushing back for a long time, but occasionally talking about my personal experiences, being as careful as I could not to be pointing fingers at people, but truly speaking of what it meant for me in my position and what I was going through, trying to always recognize that other people are allowed to disagree with me about opinions on fictional things and they must be respected for that, even if I strongly disagree with them, just as the reverse must be true--or at least I must demand it in interactions I have) and it’s worked out really well. Not everyone in this corner is going to agree with everything I say, I disagree with other pro-Jedi fans on some things, but they’ve been really kind and gracious about seeing things differently that even if it’s something I feel very strongly about, I respect that they disagree and I hope I give that back to them at least half as much. That’s generally my advice--seek out the people you know who also find that book sexist and talk about it (while allowing room for people who disagree, because it’ll make you happier in the long run, as well, but that they do so in a civil sort of way) or make your own posts talking about it, simply because you want to talk about it. When I started writing pro-Jedi posts, I knew I had to do it because I wanted to do it, not because it was going to win me internet points or whatever, I had to be willing to do it in a vacuum (another question I often have to ask myself: “If this [project] gets crickets/some sort of bad response, would I still have enjoyed the process of doing it?” and it’s helped me a lot to be honest in that answer) or just seek out people who seem like they’re doing the same thing you want to be doing, redirect your efforts into things you enjoy doing in this fandom, because I promise that “I am spitefully going to double down on how I view this thing” can eventually turn into “I love talking about this thing in this vein just because I love it!” if you focus on what you want to do. And also remember that there can be very cool people on reddit (or any other social media place) but there can also be fucking awful people who are going to be fucking awful and it’s normal that it hurts when you get blasted by them and it’s normal that you want to retreat into a refuge for awhile, I fully support that. Find what makes you happy, whatever that is, and just crank up the “I love this thing so much I’m gonna BARF RAINBOWS about it!” to the max it can go. It’ll make you feel better after awhile. (But give yourself the freedom to be hurt, take that burden off yourself, face that part of it, and eventually it gets easier to let go of it, I hope. *hugs* I don’t know if any of this was helpful, but at the very least you have my sympathy and my empathy for how shitty fandom can be sometimes.)

#lumi.txt #Anonymous

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iam-kenough · 4 years

Text

Will you ever notice me? Arthur Morgan x Original Female Character

Summary: During they wandering in deep snowstorm, man from van der Linde gang found odd looking girl and Dutch decides to take her to camp to see if she can be any use, leading life of outlaw with them. Quickly, new girl develops feelings towards Arthur, but he sees her just as a kid...and she won't take that! It's an original character story that starts in the place where Arthur, Dutch and Micah were supposed to first meet with Sadie. Instead she's already with them.

Authors notes: It’s another chapter and you can find the rest of chapter on my blog if you want to read more of my fanfiction. I decided to post all parts I have at once so the fic could catch more attention.

Word count: 1576 Chapter 4 - Arthur...Mr Morgan. I can't...I can't hide what I think anymore. So I'm gonna tell it, once, but I make you sure once is gonna be too much anyway. - I'm gonna listen to ya whatever you wanna say - his brows furrowed at her words and he sat next to her. Iris raised her head, showing red frame around deeply green eyes. She bit her lip as her hands was fidgetting on the wet tissue. And then she leaned in, placing gentle kiss on his lips, making him jump up as he opened his emerald eyes in surprise. Iris's lips were soft, little bit wet and salty from tears and she smelled like honey and flowers and her hair was soft too, tickling his face. Then he pushed her away, waking up from weird sensation that started devouring him. Iris wasn't surprised, when Arthur's strong hands pushed her away, touching her naked arms. She did what his actions were asking for. She smiled at him sadly and putting lock of hair behind her ear. - Listen, um - he began - I don't know what to say except fact I ain't expecting that...- Arthur scratched his chin. - No, don't say anything. I...I know what you think about it. Discovered weeks ago when I heard you talking with Hosea. - It's really nice but I ain't man to meddle with your heart after a heartbreak. I'm not even good friend for you. Not good enough - he stuttered, searching for any right words - Whoever hurt you today isn't worth you doing things you would normally regret. - Aren't you the most oblivious person I know, Arthur Morgan - she got up quickly, losing her temper. She pressed cold bottle of bear to her temple and collected her thoughts. He didn't understand, not at all. Oblivious? - No one broke my heart - she said finally - and I thought it's gonna be clear once I kiss you. - No one broke your heart, eh? Then what was it all about? You were sulking for weeks and now you kiss me, you crazy woman like I would mean anything in all that. - Y-you mean a lot, you blind fool! But you don't get it at all! No one ever was with me, Arthur! First time you asked me what was wrong I-I couldn't tell you for real that I love you since the day I saw you because I just heard what you told Hosea! You are the friend who doesn't see me the way I see him, you! And I didn't want to talk with you about it, especially when you and Mary started to get along with each other...You kissed her today, I saw you. And I decided to never tell you anything but I'm drunk and you pushed me! She was shaking, looking directly into Arthur's eyes. That's it, this is the end. Arthur opened his eyes in shock and surprise and he wanted to say anything but he couldn't so he was catching air like fish without water. - I said it will wreck my friendship with this person - she whispered weakly, looking at him. -I don't know what to say, kid... - Don't call me like that! - she bursted out. Her eyes was glossy again. - You don't have to be more obvious, really - she continued - I got it when you told Hosea I'm just a kid who likes your company. But don't call me that, not now, when I try confess to you - tears flushed on her cheeks. - I am sorry...- was all Arthur could say - I told you I ain't no good with words and I-I am really sorry this turned away like that. - You sorry - she whispered, looking at her feet - So...you reject me? - I ain't no match for you, that's sure - he reached out for her to at least cuddle her and make her more calm but she made a step back and shaked her head with agreement. - I get it. It's me who should be sorry for putting you in situation like this, Mr Morgan. Thanks for listening to me, though. It means a lot that you did. She turned around and ran away from him, leaving him with thoughts about her. When Mary-Beth noticed her she knew something was off immidiately although she didn't manage to ask, because Iris grabbed another beer, downed it and crashed bottle on the floor. - What ya think you doin' ya crazy? - Micah look at her with disgust. The same way he was looking from the start. - And how does it look, ya moron? I'm breaking the glass and getting drunk. - Ya won't speak towards me this way! - Make me - she almost whispered, rolling up her sleeves. And then it happened. Micah jumped on her, completely ignoring any curtesy about not beating woman up. He tried to grab Iris's throat but she dodged. She was small, really small and she planned to use that as a weapon. Everyone around fire started yelling and laughing. If Micah's attempt to hurt Iris would be succesful Dutch or John would probably stop him, but it was almost like watching wild bull dancing a ballet with a cat. So instead of tearing Micah and Iris apart, they were waching. He tried to grab her, but he couldn't, alcohol and anger giving her swiftness. Every punch he directed towards her was hitting only air. And then she snapped. Iris grabbed Micah by his collar and knocked him out with her head hitting his nose. ''Ooooh!'' said everybody, tone of voice different according to every person. - You'll wish you were dead when I'll got you - man said, removing blood from his face with sleeve. - If you will got me - she laughed at him - All you do is those weird attempts, clumsy boy! - You are the worst nightmare I ever saw, no wonder no one consider you woman! - Oh, shut it - it was probably the beer, probably the anger and deep sadness, but mostly fact he was right that made her grab a chair and break it on Micah's heard. Poor bastard were out. Iris dropped a piece of chair on the floor, took a deep breath and said: - Bless him and his soul, thank you very much. And with that words she turned around and walked away.It was late night when she heard Arthur entering his half of tent. He breathed heavy and she could see his silhouette on piece of cloth that was spliting those two tents as he undressed himself. She looked into small mirror wondering why she was born ugly and not loved. But it was all clear between them two now, wasn't it. Everyone disappeared in their tents and the only light there was was Arthur's oil lamp. Iris assumed he had fallen asleep, she heard Arthur's snoring. She got up and jumped above trunks to get to his half, almost tripping on this cloth hanging inbetween. He was sleeping, drunk and calm, his face seemed so nice now. He...looked kind like someone, who you could call home. But she couldn't. He and Dutch saved her few months ago and it was time to become something on her own, without help of girls or Dutch. Iris went and packed all she had and threw it on one of horses, the one she was usually using. She was feeling bad about stealing it but she promised herself she will put it back, someday, on night like this, even if they gonna move their camp. She also decided not to steal the tent she was using. She entered Arthur's tent again. She noticed him having goosebumps so she covered him with some blanket and was standing there, looking at him. She noticed his journal and she picked it up. First thought there was to read it but it wouldn't be right. Iris didn't need to know what's inside Arthur's head, she knew already. I don't know what to say, kid. She borrowed a piece of paper from journal and a pencil and she begin to write. She writed long letter but it wasn't meant for Arthur. It was letter for Dutch, explaining him that she's going and thanking him for all he's done for her. She also apologised for stealing one of his horses and the fact he and Molly was apart, she wrote that she wished them all the best, no matter what. And then she borrowed another piece of paper. But it wasn't a letter any sort, just small text. I'm sorry and thank you - it said - you are really good friend, no matter what you think about yourself. You are not stupid, ugly or old either. I need to go now, maybe we gonna meet someday again. Goodbye and sorry again. I.R. Night was warm and nice, when she was wondering on her horse, now far enough from camp. It's the way it should be, she said to herself, you knew it's gonna go down, didn't you. Crickets were singing their songs and she smiled faintly. She was thinking about his eyes. And she felt ashamed, all those months she spent with everyone in the camp was mainly for Arthur and Mary-Beth. Now she remided herself she didn't write anything for Mary-Beth, but she knew Dutch will tell everyone anyway. ''I ain't no match for you, that's sure''

#arthur morgan #arthur morgan x oc #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #rdr2 #rdr2 fanfic #smutt #fluff #angst

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golddaggers · 5 years

Text

cruel summer

pairing: thor x reader;

warnings: well there are some mentions to smut but nothing explicit. maybe some curse words. nothing too extreme.

a/n: okay so i am drunk and secretly on my mum’s laptop. forgive me any mistakes on it? i guess? and i’m breaking the dry spell on this blog!!! sheesh. i hope y’all like it and send me some feedback. it’s nice, really.

word count: 2,8k+ i think

[summer]

The first time it happened was unintended. Drinks at the bar after a long, long day, a lot of careless flirting that turned into making out and eventually lead to where I knew I'd always end up: his arms.

In my defense, how was I supposed to say no to Thor? Say no to the gentleman he always was with me, a comforting hand always heavy on my shoulder when I needed it? Heck, how would I deny someone who would seek after me once we weren't in the battlefield just so he knew I was alright? I couldn't.

And of course, I wasn't going to be the one refusing that gorgeous man. So tall, so wild. Everything I wanted. Everything that seemed so out of reach.

But I should have found the will to say no. It was insane. We worked together, damn it. Given, we were both a little alcohol intoxicated and with a pent-up energy that was desperate, clawing its way out of our bodies. Nonetheless, by the end of the night we agreed, between shared breathy laughs in the dark, that we wouldn't do it again. That it was the sensible thing to do.

Lord knows what'd happen if Tony were to find out about this one night stand. We were lucky enough nobody saw us heading back to my apartment, a rented place in Cornelia Street. It was small and somewhat messy, still, the place was enough for the two of us. We christened every single room that night, ending sprawled on my bed, chuckling at our recklessness.

Being around him was easy as gasping for air. Plus, how can I say it? Thor had skills no man before him had showed me. Even the smallest of thoughts about it sends shivers down my spine. I indulge my mind then, contemplating on how easy it was for him to pick up on my tastes. He definitely spoilt me to other men in that aspect. Some others too.

I woke up in the morning after feeling sore everywhere. My legs felt as if they didn't belong to me any more, so I limped my way into the kitchen, finding him in nothing but black underwear. I was suddenly very conscious about my nudity, which was brushed off when he came to me, a childish grin followed by a peck on the cheek.

At that moment, I hoped we could really just keep this as a dirty little secret. It wouldn't happen again, we agreed, so we might as well linger a while longer. Enjoy whilst we could.

How wrong I was, though. Nearly every night along that summer, we kept finding our way towards each other, sloppily kissing while our bodies were one. Surrendering to an overwhelming desire that crept inside us. It felt like he was a strong magnetic force that kept me bound to him.

The bliss came to an unexpected halt when I saw him entirely invested in a conversation with somebody else. I was aware that I was in no place to be jealous, but she was so beautiful. The straight blond hair falling scarcely to the middle of her back, green eyes sparkling with the won interest of him. Body curved like an hourglass. My heart clenched, uneasy. I couldn't control it, not now.

I felt so silly to have trusted our rushed promises between the snaps of his hips against mine. It was obvious he didn't care about me like that, the crazed, jealousy infusing kind of way. What in Heaven's name was I doing anyway? Was I out of my mind?

It was cruel to have allowed myself to do this. And stupid. We both agreed to no-strings-attached and here I was, so damn knotted. Sinking deep into something with no future. Typical me.

From a distance, I watched as his eyes followed me out of Steve's birthday party, forcing myself to run to the back yard. I couldn't be around him. Couldn't let him see how wrecked I was.

The grass was wet below my bare feet when I took off my heels, throwing them to the side. At this point, I could feel the alcohol effects clouding my brain, I needed some time to calm down, to get my shit together.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" His hand was warm on my shoulder, "You left in a hurry."

I was sitting on a cold swing, my head resting against the chain. Green grass pickled my feet, it grounded me to the present. To what was truly happening. I often slipped into my thoughts, blocking out everything else.

This was a moment I wanted to keep.

"I'm fine," I shrugged, croaking out a response, I didn't want him to know I was crying, "I mean it. I just needed to catch some air."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Thor, I am," Wiping away the tears discreetly, I hoped my puffy eyes would go unnoticed, "You don't have to worry about me."

There was a shift in his breath, a low chuckle, and he stood before me, one hand cupping my cheek. In that position, he looked even more massive than he already was and it made me feel tiny, meaningless.

Molten deep blue bored into my soul when I dared to look up at him. He was lost, unsure what to say, how to deal with me when I was like that. I knew Thor didn't want to hurt my feelings or burn the bridge that kept our friend in place. He was scared. Just as I was.

"I always will." Thor whispers then, deep and certain, "We are, as you say it, screwing things, are we not?"

"What do you mean?" My mouth suddenly feels dry.

"This, being together-"

"The thing is, we aren't," A huff slips from me, "We aren't together, Thor. Isn't that what we agreed? That it was too risky to date?"

"I recall us saying we would test things, that this… It was a trying out."

I got back on my feet then, his figure still dwarfing me. There was no refraining on touching him, my hand gently palming his strong torso, avoiding his eyes - Yes, we would try to make it work. But could we? It was easy to destroy everything at this point.

The thought of breaking up with him, severing the ties that bound us together… I don't think I would ever fully recover. It wouldn't ever be the same. That heartbreak was the kind time couldn't ever mend.

Thor was so gentle when he lifted my chin, I melted into him, a smile pulling up the corners of my lips.

"Do you want to leave this party? Go somewhere else, just the two of us?"

"What if somebody sees us?" Anxiety peaked, sweat hoarding under my bare armpits, "You know how they can be with inside dating."

A laugh fills the buzzing silent night, cutting through the insistent crickets' sound. He tugs me even closer, arms around my waist lifting me up off the ground just a hair. With forearms bare, I could feel the full extent of his sizzling skin on mine.

Our lips brush in a tender kiss, it's quick and soothing. In that moment, I feel I would stay there forever.

Wind stings my cheeks and the sky cracks. I chuckle, cocky. It feels nice to know I evoke such strong emotions on him. Powerful, even.

"Let's leave. Now," A subtle command underneath his composed voice, "I cannot…"

I tilt my head, feigning curiosity, which is dismissed as fast as it came. The night breeze dips colder, my body starts to shiver, he can notice very well how I am in need of warmth. Likewise, I notice what he means. The reading between the lines. I smile.

We leave, then. Sneaking out from different places. I tell Natasha I feel a little bit under the weather, I blame the glasses of champagne. She seems to believe. I don't know what Thor tells the others. It doesn't matter.

Later, I am pouring myself some water. Chilled, I am thirsty for it. Thor's still half asleep in the bed, snug to one of my pillows. There's this urge, for me to watch him, to observe the soft creases by his eyes, so peaceful. Not the warrior I know, just a man. A tired man.

He's been through so much.

My lips, they're still rather swollen, press against his forehead. He sighs, tightening his arms to the soft of the pillow, mumbling for me to get back. It's cold. It's late. I indulge, finding my place amidst his arms.

Yes, I would stay forever.

If he'd let me.

[late fall]

The nightclub was trembling with the loud song. It had been Wanda's idea. A celebration for Tony and Pepper's engagement. She held a strong point, we needed a break, all this pressure on fighting had taken its toll, each and every one of us were in need of a light gathering.

Brown leaves floated around me. Alcohol pumping through my veins. I needed air, needed to think. For about a month now, Thor had been gone. Said he needed some time to think, to gather himself after losing his brother. I understood. Of course.

Only after I heard that Jane had returned to the United States I truthfully comprehended. It was never about Loki, no. He needed to find out if he had got over his ex and that reached my gut like a sharp knife.

That is why you should never cultivate hope. It's deceiving and impelling to get you hurt. To be surrounded by the knowledge I was his band-aid… That forced tears to cloud my vision. I had to end this. Everything.

My tiny black dress didn't do much for the fall weather, but it took me several minutes to realise I was shaking from the cold, not my compulsive crying. I wanted to go home, so I did. Tugged Nat by the elbow, she seemed worried, though she didn't ask why my eyes were puffy and tiny mascara lines stained my cheeks. I told her to send Pep my apologies.

Leo greeted me when I returned home, his bright orange fur tickling my calves as he rubbed himself into me. Poor thing, he wasn't used to me being gone for so long. I had found him not shy from two weeks and, in the meanwhile, hadn't picked up any new missions, hence all my time was for him.

It clicked, at that instant, work was my way out of this situation I threw myself in. Plus I was sure kicking some douchebag's ass would at least make me feel avenged. I'd pretend it was him.

"Your mama will come back to you," I murmured, already tucked into my bed, my cat's green eyes staring at me in plain curiosity, "Be sure of that."

Next thing I know, I'm in a different state, running. Trouble followed wherever I went, so I was counting on that to find some sort of peace of mind. To let all my insecurities behind. And it sufficed.

At first, anyway.

Tony would call Friday evenings, surprised that I had finished things already. To be fair, I trained for this, a warrior's mind prepared to find the best solution in the smallest of time. My father, should he be alive, would be proud.

Hotel rooms were passive, cold. I hated being there, the neat wallpaper and golden furniture. Only during those nights, in which I wasn't tired enough to ignore my surroundings, I would think of him.

In my memories, it came his smile first, a hand stretched before me so we could dance in the middle of my living room, under the pale light of the moon sneaking past the window. I felt so safe then. Laughing like a child.

Eyes closed, my mind drifts. I see everything and I cry. No one cares if I am loud, so my sobs fill the room, the pillows being thrown away. I hated that I allowed myself to be led on, to be a mere, ordinary replacement.

My phone lit in the black, a few nights later, a single text showed. Come back. That simply wasn't enough now.

[winter]

Reality sinks in at ease, my entire body aching. Last thing I remembered was being in a fight. Two guys, maybe three. I knew I could take them, wouldn't have said yes if I assumed otherwise. Or maybe I was being extra reckless.

Either way, it came with a price. A deep pungle of a knife, just below my ribcage, I was lucky to be back in New York, lucky to find in me to call Steve, lucky that he picked it. Crimson red pain washed through me, I lied still in his arms.

After, all turned into a blur. There were bright, white lights above. A clean, septic-smelling room. Slouched on the couch, long legs pried open, Thor slept. So alike to my dreams, I deemed to be asleep.

The soft grunt of pain spilling past my lips woke him, deep blue into me. I looked the other way, this was much harder.

"Why… I tried talking to you."

"I know," My voice is coarse, I must have been asleep for hours, "I didn't want to hear you. Didn't want to face reality."

He stands, mighty, handsome.

"What reality?" A wrinkle appeared between his eyebrows, he's confused, I realise, "Birdie, tell me."

"Don't call me that," I frown, it's much too intimate, "Not when you are about to break up with me. I know about Jane."

There's a moment of stillness, Thor doesn't come any closer to my bed. Confusion switches to a hint of anger. I feel he's about to say I am not entitled to say anything about Jane when I called Steve first. Steve, my old crush. His friend. He doesn't like to know he was the last to be aware of my injuries.

Or at least I think he feels this way.

"What about Jane?" He asks then, a large hand grasping one of my own, "I have the right to know," His voice is soft, "Please."

"I heard Pepper telling Nat. I just… Well, you were always so in love with her!" Shameful tears escape, "I thought…"

"Thought she would come back and I would open my arms to someone who left me?" Bitterness soaks his remark, "Look at me," It's childish, but I don't, I want him to touch me, to smoothly grip my chin and make me look at him, which he does, rough fingertips just right on my skin, "I should have made it clear that all I wanted was to be with you. From the beginning. Somehow I think all of this is my fault-"

"Thor…"

"Let me," Thumb strokes my cheekbone, I nod, "It is my fault because I let you think I was not serious about this. My fault I complied to your request to keep it between us."

The thrum of my heart intensifies, I can feel it on my ribs. Never in my life someone had made me so nervous, anxious. I have isolated myself, pushed him out of my life, yet, here he is, apologising for something that wasn't his fault.

I wanted to hug him.

"This time away helped me to realise I am very serious, because all I could think about, dream about, was you. Little and armourless in my arms," Blue flickers, it's bright, shiny, a sea in daylight, "I love you. And I am sure that is the worst thing you have ever heard."

A smirk crosses my face, I can't help it. There's nothing I can say. I whisper, like a secret, a confidence, that I love him too. Have been loving him for quite a while. It was torture being away from him and I meant it.

Nobody could convince him to leave, not when the nurse came to change my bandages or Tony swung by to talk. Our hands rested intertwined the whole time.

Track of time was something we didn't focus on. I cried at some point, regretting the way I acted. It was my tendency to break things I loved, to be insecure they'd leave anyway then taking one step in advance. It's better to leave before you get left.

Thor comforted me, pulling me to lie closer. The bed was small, so we had to be super snug to one another. I wasn't complaining. I missed the warmth. Missed the light conversations.

We filled in the blanks, talked until we could do nothing except enjoy the nice silence. Sleeping together. An old, yet renewed, intimacy.

Now I was sure I'd stay there forever.

"Promise?" The sun was peeking through the curtains, I was still sleepy, soft between his arms, "Promise you will stay forever?"

I smile, eyes closed still, a syrupy happiness spreading as fast as the daylight embalming us.

"I promise," It's hushed, meant for him, "Forever. All your summers."

A happy, smooth laugh slips from him, Thor brings me closer, a tight embrace. I feel, after everything, truly happy. A cruel summer, a happy winter.

There was no doubt from this forward, they'd all be happy. I was certain, that was everything I needed from him to completely surrender. Certainty.

I surrendered.

tags!

forever

@sea040561 @momc95 @qxeen-of-hearts

marvel

@frenfics @mrscutiefandobhaz

thor

@lancsnerd @odinson-barnes @rishlo @desia22

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ask-hws-germanys · 4 years

Text

Notes: Best when paired with this song, you’ll know where https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blwzw8YK2oI

I wrote this ages ago so I hope you don’t mind the length. I know writing isn’t what get’s the clicks when it comes to ask blog things but I hope you might relax and read along to this piece.

...

Theobold was the first one to pick up on Ludwig's new and strange behavior. It was nothing others would sneeze at really, it only really standing out to him so much because of his time possessing the German's body and the many corrections he had to learn himself in order to act as him and fill in for him when Ludwig would drop out and he would have to take over.

He was rising later, checking out of conversation more, and he could often hear music coming from his room. He knew Ludwig had played both the violin and flute in the past but to his knowledge he had been very out of practice and had no spare time to pick them up again. So.. where was the music coming from? After a few days of this consistent odd behavior, now adding muttering to himself to the list and straight up ignoring his schedule that particular day, not to mention flirting with Lutz, Theo was sure somehow Ludwig was possessed in some way with something he couldn't sense. And he was going to confront whatever it was and ask it to leave or else he'd use force.

The albino knocked softly on the door, his foot tapping as impatient as ever on the faded wooden floor. The door opened slowly, revealing Ludwig, or who was supposedly Ludwig. He was wearing a black and white striped shirt with a loose light blue button-up rolled to his elbows over top, quite casual and free flowing Theo thought to himself.

"Ah Theobold," Ludwig remarked. "Did you need something from me?"

Theobold gave the man a nod, crossing his arms. "Ja, I want to discuss something with you. Alone."

He didn't want the man to suspect something, so he kept his expression neutral, scanning for any sign that this perpetrator might try to bolt or attack him. But… nothing happened. Ludwig nodded and allowed the man inside, Theo rejecting his offer to sit as Ludwig moved to his wardrobe, moving some clothes around.

"What did you want to discuss, Theo?" Ludwig asked, taking one of his newly pressed shirts and slipping it onto its hanger and then in the wardrobe. Theo lightly glared, preparing himself for the worst. He never had much of a filter anyway.

"Who are you?"

Ludwig seemed to pause in confusion before turning to him. "..What?"

"Don't make me ask you again." Theo vaguely threatened. "You heard me, I know you're not Ludwig. I can sense it, something just off right below the surface. Not wrath… but something else. Tell me what you're doing here and get out of him this instant."

Ludwig and Theo were staring, locked in a gaze for longer than Theo liked. As if Ludwig was seeing which would cave first, who would back down. He sighed, shaking his head as he moved to continue his task.

"I'm afraid I couldn't 'get out of him' even if I tried. We're one in the same, you see." He remarked. "Two halves of the same faced coin. I’m not like you."

Theo gave him a confused look, and the man quickly elaborated on his analogy.

"It's impossible to have one side without the other."

"So you admit you're an imposter!" Theo accused, the man simply chuckled under his breath, covering his slight smile with his hand.

"I'm afraid I admitted to nothing of that." He pulled a case from the wardrobe before moving to close it, Theo keeping his eye on the case, jumpy at any sudden movement. Ludwig seemed to notice his paranoid nature, smiling in an almost eerie way. He stood a bit closer to Theo.

"However… you look quite exhausted my friend, are you feeling alright?"

Theo squinted, as if asking him why he was changing the subject. The man's smile grew, and he brought his case from his side to over his chest, holding it as one would hold something precious.

"I ask because, perhaps we can make a deal? I can sense the exhaustion within you, and I can assist you with it.. in exchange for your silence of my presence." he held out his hand. "I can show you I mean no harm to you, or anyone else here, and in exchange allow me to coexist here as everyone else has."

Theo frowned slightly, though vaguely intrigued, he was cautious. What did he mean by "assist him with it?" he was honestly confused. And why point out his exhaustion. If he had been around here long enough he knew how Theo was when it came to rest and his inability to do it.

The man moved to set his case on the bed, his moves slow but fluid, allowing Theo to see every move he made and process what he was doing so he wouldn't jump to conclusions. Within the thin case was Ludwig’s flute, a gift from his brother from many years ago. He watched as Ludwig had put the flute together quietly without fuss, as if he had been diligently playing every day. But he knew Ludwig hadn’t touched it in years. He didn’t have the time anymore..

The demon watched with caution as the man tested each button and tuned softly to himself, as if he was in his own little world with the instrument, and Theo was outside looking in.

"What are you planning on doing with that?" Theo asked. Ludwig continued, his smile unwavering.

"Have you ever been able to sit in a field of flowers at midnight, Theobold?"

Theo was confused, his head tilting to the side slightly as the man seemed to change the subject again. "No.. I haven't."

"Hmm.." he twittled one of the buttons on his flute mindlessly. "I could take you to one... if you’d like." At the mention of leaving Theo quickly objected, his shoulders tensing as he shook his head.

"I'm not escorting you out of this room until you tell me who you--" Theo began, but Ludwig quickly held up a hand to stop him.

"Oh, there would be no need. Just allow me to play for you." he remarked. "My playing can be quite immersive. I promise, I mean no harm. I simply want to help you relax."

Theo let out a slow exhale through his nose, weighing his options. He could tell that the man was not going to give him a straight answer. He was dancing around the subject harder the Lichtblau had been dancing about Aster when they finally seemed to come to an accord. He hadn’t acted malicious, or tried to jump him. So it wasn’t anyone he knew… This strange deal might be the only chance for him to get a hint on who this was, perhaps he could win their favor and then use that position to figure out how to get Ludwig back, and what he meant by the two of them being inseparable.

“Hm..” Theo sighed. “If I accept your offer, do you swear on your life that you will not harm a single person here, and that this is not trickery?”

The man smiled, raising one hand to swear. "I swear on my life I mean no one harm, especially not anyone here. And I am not trying to trick you, I merely wish to help you.”

Theo paused, hardening his resolve before nodding in approval. The blonde nodded to him in return, and moved to sit, crossing his legs in his lap.

"Please, sit."

Theo paused, taking one more moment to think about his options before slowly lowering himself to the floor, sitting with his legs crossed and his hands resting palm side down on his knees. Ludwig smiled at him in approval, happy to see him letting his guard down the slightest bit.

"Now… close your eyes, and listen."

Theo frowned, his eyes staying open and trained on the blonde, but the man began to play anyway.

The melody was slow and tranquil, Theo thinking he must only be warming up the instrument. But after about a minute of watching and listening, his eyelids began to feel heavier, like they were being weighed down with sandbags. He was an amazing flutist he had to remark but why did he feel so at ease…? It felt like the sound was wrapping around the two of them, and Theo found it harder to focus on keeping his eyes open. His eyes continued to flutter, struggling to stay open as the man continued his tranquil solo. Theo couldn't recall when he shut his eyes but when he opened them again he was startled as the scenery had changed around them.

The two were both sitting in a field of strange blue flowers, some sort of flower he had never seen before. Petals were floating through the air as a gentle breeze moved them in almost hypnotic patterns. On the horizon around them there were tall, sturdy trees littered with lights. The air was abuzz with butterflies and fireflies, some coming to rest upon his arms and shoulders without a moment's hesitation. He tried to sit as still as possible as to not disturb them, turning his head up from the flowers to see the sky speckled with stars as the soft melodies of the flute began to blend with the chirps of crickets, the sweet songs of bird calls and the soft flaps and clicks of insect wings.

It all felt so real.. what kind of witchcraft was this..? They hadn't left the room, he knew that... and yet as he ran a hand through the flowers beneath him he could feel every petal, every stem as they brushed against his gloves. They were there but they couldn't be..!

Theo was hardly registering the soft melody that continued to ring and echo through the cool night air. It was becoming harder and harder to keep up his guard when there were so many distractions around him. So many soothing sounds, the scent of the flowers in the air…

He found his eyes wandering to the flowers beneath him. Curling his finger around the stem of one he found it wrapped its grip around him without much of a fight, opening itself more as Theo ran his fingers down the soft petals. In any other situation he might have found that alarming, but right now… he wasn’t. He brought the little bud to his face and the aroma of the nectar hit him full force. It was sweet, a subtle but powerful smell. His eyes felt even heavier than before, an ache in his bones he was used to ignoring got louder and louder.

Slowly lowering his hand back to his lap, he finally caught a strange color out of the corner of his vision. He looked up, Ludwig was still there! How… had he not noticed that? He seemed… different. His appearance had changed, he was draped in a black and blue cloak and his head was adorned with a garland of the same flowers as the field they were sitting in. Had he made that garland while he wasn’t looking…? He couldn’t have… he surely would have noticed that much movement, right? Had he stopped playing?

The German’s slight smile was showing through, still unwavering despite his focus. His eyes were closed, but as if he had sensed Theo's staring, one opened ever so slightly, looking at him with something Theo couldn't quite put into words. It was strange, he had never seen Ludwig’s eyes so bright before… so emotional… They were swirling with so many things he could hardly decipher one before it was gone and replaced with another.

The ache in Theo’s bones was becoming deafening. He tried to stay sitting up, moving to lean back on his hands as the music of the flute continued to envelop him like someone would curl into a woolen blanket on a cold winter’s eve. He fought to keep his eyes open, but his exhaustion and this strange relaxation that had settled in his chest were beating out his willpower. He was only able to keep them open the slightest crack.

He was waiting for something… he didn't know what for but he was waiting.. he was so tired… it was getting so hard to think, all the sounds around him were starting to melt together, his senses felt overwhelmed but in the most pleasant way possible. Theo had been so absorbed and keeping himself vague conscious... he hadn't even noticed that the man in front of him had stopped playing.

He could hear shuffling in the grass, the air changing. Someone was moving closer, but unlike normal Theo was unresponsive. He didn’t even flinch or move to stop the hand that slowly moved a stray hair on his face back into place. A movement that very very few people could get away with in any other circumstance. The demon’s face was relaxed, his eyes lidded and gaze caught in some distant space as he watched the flowers bend and sway in the wind, rippling like waves. It was captivating… he could watch this for hours....

"Are you still awake, my friend?"

Theo nodded softly.

"That's good.. I'm glad." the blonde’s smile had reached something eerie as he gently held Theo's face in his hand. "Are you tired?"

"Yes…” the demon groaned, finding himself leaning into the hand on his face, trusting the touch. If he had the energy he would have reached out to him, but the thought of moving at all was so unappealing. “I’m so tired… never get enough.. sleep."

"..And you like this little field of mine, don't you?"

Theo nodded again. "...Relaxing..."

"That it is…" He smiled, looking around the field before back down to the dozing albino. "How about this… If you want, I'll bring you back here from time to time." He suggested, letting out a small chuckled as Theo’s head lolled to the side in his grip, clearly trying and failing to stay awake.

"That is… Of course… if I may stay around?"

"I would… like that…" Theo nodded again. "...stay…"

“...But of course.”

The blonde smiled, letting one hand slowly rustle Theo’s hair in an affectionate manner as the other hand, still holding onto the body of the flute, grazed through the flowers in a circular motion. As it went around again and again, a soft blue light was glowing, the flowers bending and twisting into one another until a garland of them was what remained. With utmost care he gently sat his flute onto the ground, and bent down to pick up the garland of flowers. He gently placed it over the demon’s head, minding his horn as it came to rest over his shoulders.

Theo’s eyes had lulled shut again, opening ever so slightly but he couldn’t hardly see straight. Everything was blurring and spinning into itself… How many Germanys were in front of him again…? Where… was he? What was he doing…? He wasn’t sure. All he knew is that he was tired… so very tired.

"Enjoy your rest, my friend. We'll keep this little secret to ourselves, yes?"

Theo nodded wordlessly, his arms were shaking behind him. He was barely able to hold himself up.

"......jaaa..." he tried to say more, but he was so tired, and it was so hard to think the words were blurring together. The noise he made was soft and completely intelligible, and the man gently shushed him.

"That's gut.. I think I will quite like having you as an ally."

The man moved away from him, though Theo hardly registered it at all. The world around him felt like unintelligible white noise, his mind teetering on the edge of the abyss and more than willing and ready to plummet at the slightest push.The blonde let out a small sigh through his nose.

"Please... rest now, no need to hang onto my words. Rest, all of this will feel like a distant dream when you awaken. I will call for you if I ever need you, my friend."

At that remark, Theo felt something snap, and he collapsed. His mind no longer felt like it was waiting, he had no more a need to keep himself conscious. He finally succumbed to that oh so tempting sleep he desired. It was as if he had only kept himself awake to speak to the blonde and now that he was free of that burden he had been completely swallowed whole by this warm feeling of sleep. He felt like he was sinking into a warm hug or he had been encased in ice by War. It was beyond relaxing…

Theo could still faintly hear the sound of chirping birds and could smell the sweet aroma of the flowers from the field that adorned his neck... Everything felt so calm... the thought of waking up from this was enough to make him feel the fire of Wrath well up in him. He didn’t want to wake up… not yet. He wanted to stay like this… just for a while longer.

Theo's body hit the wood floor with a soft thud, his head lulling to the side on the wooden panels as the room back to the way it was before as if nothing had happened at all. Ludwig moved to place his instrument on the crisp bed sheets, moving down to lift Theo and carry him to his room. Luckily for him the hallways were empty, it seems they were still either at lunch or cleaning up. That was for the best, he didn’t want to explain this. Having to dodge around Theobold was enough for one day he thought.

He had honestly been surprised the man had caught on so fast, as he was sure that he had kept him from the light for a good while, but the man was better at reading people than he thought. He opened Theo’s heavy wooden door, pushing it open with his side and moving quickly to bump it closed again. Sliding him under the covers was tricky but he was able to pull it off eventually, making sure to sit his boots by his bedside and rest his beret on the post of his bed.

Theo looked more relaxed than he had ever seen him, the music had worked like a charm, and he was happy Theo seemed to enjoy it. Not a single fleck of fear was on his face, and he was even smiling in his sleep. He wondered what the man might be dreaming about… maybe he would be content with no dreams at all? After hearing about the man’s nightmares, I’m sure just a calm quiet place would be more than welcome to him.

He wasn’t sure if Theo would remember this exchange or would be blissfully ignorant of the situation and go to approach him again the moment he noticed the changes again. But.. he wouldn't mind a session like this from time to time either way. The man deserved a rest, he had long earned it. And he was more than happy to assist with it if he asked for it.

If there was any worry for him… it would probably fall upon some of the others. Surely not all of them would be accepting as Theo had been…

He sighed, moving to stand from the bed’s edge and toward the door. There was not much else he could do but wait and see… If situations occurred he’d have to react quickly and resourcefully. He moved to leave, shutting off the light behind him as he slipped out the door. For a moment, his eyes showed a blue, luminescent glow before the door closed behind him and he was back in the brightly lit halls of the house, the strange light fading as he stepped into the light.

#hetalia #hws germanys #theobold kramer #hws germany #???

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thiswasinevitableid · 5 years

Note

#3 indruck for the supers prompt please? Feel free to play around with it!

Here we go! It got a bit angstier in the middle than I initially planned, but don’t worry, it all turns out okay.

3 Okay so when they wink at me after a great comeback, is that just their charismatic arrogance or do they maybe like me back?

“Guess I really am a ‘bright beacon of hope’ cause you keep comin to me like a moth to a flame.”

The Bear winks at him and Indrid, who saw the trap coming and stepped into it anyway because he really wants those blueprints, finds himself surrounded by the rest of the Pine Guard.

“Oughta call yourself Luna Moth, cause you’re driving me crazy.” This the Bear growls after Indrid gets off multiple successful strikes of his sonic disorienter wrong-footing the enemy.

“There is no correlation between the lunar cycle and insanity.”

“It was a joke Agent, oh fuck where’d he go?” Was the last thing Indrid heard as he took flight off the roof.

“Was gonna ask you back to my place, but it looks like you’re all tied up.” This was whispered in his ear as he struggled in the grasp of The Bear’s strange, whip-like sword. It took a headbutt to get free of that one, the split lip aggravatingly increasing the appeal of The Bear’s face.

That incident was a mere hour and half ago. Were Indrid thinking clearly, he’d be pondering why he Bear had put them so close together when he knew full well Indrid had escaped that exact same scenario several times before.

Instead, he’s just cum across his bedspread imagining exactly what the bear could do to him in his hideout, Indrid tied up all the while (though not by that unpleasant sword). Imagining a strong, warm hand around his cock and his throat (he hasn’t been able to keep warm since the accident), coaxing him to surrender to pleasure.

This is not an unusual post-battle activity for him lately. The Bear has grown more flirtatious in his banter. It doesn’t help that the hero is exactly the kind of man Indrid pursued and bedded in happier times.

What’s stranger is that The Bear isn’t terribly arrogant otherwise, so the winking truly feels less like gloating and more like a come-on.

Indrid hasn’t been too bothered by his desires these past months.

Until now. Because this time, as he lays panting into the black flannel pillows, his mind continues spinning. But instead of his grocery list or new invention ideas, it wanders straight back into muscular arms. He wonders if The Bear is a cuddler. That would be nice, as he looks so very soft in places. And his drawl is probably comforting, hushed and close under the covers. Indrid, who hasn’t had a good nights sleep in two years, pictures himself drifting off peacefully in a tender embrace.

“What in the hell?” He mutters, shaking his head as he sits up. The lights in the bathroom highlight the sickly red glow of his eyes, the black of his claws, the strange white of his pointed teeth in an otherwise human face as he address himself in the mirror

“Get a hold of yourself, Cold. You are slipping.”

He washes his hands, splashes cold water on his face, looks at his reflection, “There is no explanation beyond him toying with you. You are a monster.”

He flexes his ragged, black wings for emphasis.

“You are enemies. No matter how charming he is. No matter how many times he’s-”

Saved your life?

Spared you capture?

“He’s a hero, that is what hero do.”

Offered you help?

Spoken to you more than fought with you?

This is pathetic. He’s allowed the Bear too much power over him. Had he meant to give it, he would feel differently. But now he’s in a freefall, eyes shut in hopes someone else will keep him from hitting the ground .

He has to regain an edge.

The futures roll through his head, unbidden. But he’s learned how to control them, he knows how to find what he needs in them. Concentrating, he sorts through them instant by instant and soon he has exactly what he’s looking for.

He looks into the mirror, and his reflection grins, horror movie wide, back at him.

------------------------------------

It’s only The Bear who comes for him the next time. He makes sure of it by choosing a low level crime that will still bring the hero running.

“Really, Emperor Moth, a forest fire? Do I even gotta say how I feel about those?”

“No. And I have decided that after years of trying to prevent disaster and being scorned, I am ready to bring them upon those who did not listen to me.”

“Damn, that’s dramatic even for you.”

Indrid huffs, drawing himself up to stare at the hero, “Begone, ursine irritation, or I will end you and put your stuffed body in my mansion.”

“You don’t have a mansion. Besides,” that cocky grin is back, “other ways of stuffin a bear that I like a lot better.”

He can’t stop the blush, even as he sees his chance for the upper hand.

“There’s also more than one way to catch a Duck.”

The hero freezes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He says in the voice of someone who knows exactly what it means.

“I mean, Duck Newton, ranger in this very national forest, that you do not have the upper hand you think you do.”

“Shit, your powers-”

“Yes.” Indrid snarls lunging forward and knocking Duck backwards. The other man drops easily, doesn’t move a muscle when Indrid traps both hands beneath clawed fingers, “There are so many things I know because of them. But there’s one I do not. And I intend to learn it.”

His grin spurs Duck to move, thrashing ineffectively. Indrid uses Duck’s momentum to his favor, lets the hero flip himself onto his stomach, offering Indrid the chance to use the one hold Duck has trouble escaping even with all his strength.

“Ah ah, none of that. It’s high time you and I had a discussion.”

“Fine,” Duck spits into the ground, “do your worst. Just, just promise me you’ll leave the others out of it.”

“Excuse me?” Indrid sees the futures resetting and his self-loathing doubles.

“The other heroes, Lady Flame and The Crooked Man and all them. And, well, anyone who ain’t a hero who I care about. Promise me you won’t go after them.”

“Is that truly what you think of me?” Indrid whispers, releasing his hold.

Duck flips back over with enough force to throw Indrid several feet away, “You just lured me into the woods to brag about knowin my name, what the fuck else should I think?”

“You’re right, that is a logical conclusion.” Indrid says weakly, sitting up, “And you answered my question. I knew you couldn’t possibly feel anything fond towards me.”

Crickets chirp and fireflies flicker in the space between them as neither speaks for a two second eternity. Indrid looks down, ashamed.

“Hold up, you were tryin to figure out my...feelings for you? What, uh, what makes you think I even got any?”

“Oh please, you’ve grown increasingly flirtatious during our fights. You’ve shown me mercy when many others wouldn’t have. And please don’t attempt to lie. We both know how that goes.”

“Yeah.” Duck scratches the back of his neck, sheepishly, “See, I knew folks had tried to talk you into comin over to our side before. But no one had tried, uh, romacin you over.”

Indrid’s fingers curl in the grass beneath him, “Were you trying to seduce me over to your side?”

“I mean, that was part of my original plan. But you gotta understand there was more to it than that. I knew that before you started bein a villain, you were an artist and sometimes citizen scientist. And then-”

“Yes, yes” Indrid rubs his temples, “I experienced an accident that lead to the development of my future seeing capabilities and changed my appearance. Every book, blog, and news story that’s included me in it repeats that, there’s no need to rehash it here.”

“You didn’t let me finish; I also know you were the fella that tipped off the EPA to the fact that GenTech was pollutin the water.”

Indrid blinks, “How?”

“I was workin the ranger station the day a fella named Indrid Cold asked Juno to come out an look at some frogs. Mutated ones, ones he’d been watchin and drawin since they were tadpoles. Heard him say he was gonna do somethin about it. Then suddenly the nice, cute, quiet fella with the silver hair ain’t shown up in two weeks, when normally he comes by every few days to draw in the park. And the CEO of GenTech is on T.V sayin how pleased he is that the EPA investigation went nowhere because the informant 'skipped town.’“

He shudders as the memories close in with each word of his confession, “They released a toxin. In my apartment. I’m certain they thought it would kill me. I woke up to my wings splitting through my skin, a cacophony of futures in my mind. I was so frightened, I kept screaming for help. They’d had their goons pose as emergency personnel, evacuating the building for a ‘gas leak.’ No one came to help me. I passed out in pain and confusion, only came to when they chucked me into the lake, weights tied to me. Thank heavens for my claws.”

He doesn't want to keep speaking, eyes stinging and throat as tight as it was the night he lay gasping on his floor.

Duck’s drawl is soft when he, mercifully, continues his story rather than pressing Indrid for more of his, “Then another two weeks go by, and I get a funny phone call at the station, warnin me that there’s gonna be a downpour that sends a mudslide into one of the most crowded campsites, killin twenty five. Thacker and me evacuated. No one died. Found out later lots of other folks got calls like that over the course of a few weeks, but most ignored ‘em, thought the fella was crazy. Six months later the calls stop and Emperor Moth kidnaps GenTechs CEO. And, well, you know our history from there.”

“You’ve known who I was this whole time?”

“Had a hunch. Started payin closer attention to you when we met, and recognized your features, even with the glasses and the changes from the toxin. Remembered you talkin with me at the station, the way you’d laugh, how excited you got when you saw it was me workin. Thought maybe I might be able to win you back.”

Indrid tucks his knees to his chest, rests his forehead against them

“You ain’t a monster Indrid. Hell, you ain’t even much of a villain.” Fabric scuffing along grass and dirt signals Duck coming closer, and Indrid wraps his wings around himself.

“Whoah, hey now, I ain’t gonna hurt you. Far as I’m concerned, unless you haul off and punch me or somethin we got a truce.” Warm fingertips press the edges of his wings and he retracts them stiffly, nerves too taut with leftover adrenaline and buried memories for his body to relax.

“Indrid?”

He looks up simultaneously hating the concern on Duck’s face and dying to throw himself forward to beg for forgiveness, for comfort. For Duck to say his name again.

“No one’s called me that in two years.”

“Always liked it. Was distinct, same as you.”

“Not nearly as creative as Duck.”

“It’s a nickname.”

“It’s a good one.”

Duck continues stroking the edge of his wing, “You wanna come back to my hideout?”

“You’d show me? Just like that?”

A shrug, “You tellin me you wanna jump right back in to bein the scary villain who wants to hunt me down.”

“No.” Indrid replies meekly, “I want, ah, hmmm, honeslty I want to bury myself in the earth like a cicada can come out in a few decades.”

“Den’s underground. How about you plan on layin low there for a bit, takin some time to sort things out and rest?”

“That’s a start, wait, did you seriously name your hideout-”

“The Bear Den? Yep.” Duck helps Indrid up, loops his right arm through Indrid’s left and guides him towards the south end of the forest.

“By the by, I know that weren’t gasoline you tossed everywhere. Thanks for waterin the plants.”

“You’re welcome.”

They hit a frontage road and follow it, “I’m sorry if the flirtin messed with you at all. Didn’t mean for it to. But I meant every word. You look damn good in black.”

“Thank you.” Indrid chuckles, “You look striking in many shades of green.”

“You know it. Here we are.”

“This is a cabin.”

Duck bends over and puts his hand on the cellar doors. There are three distinct clicks, and then the faux wood panels slide back.

“Oooh, very nice.”

“Pretty pleased with it. Took a few designs to get the camouflage right.” He takes the first step down, turns and offers Indrid his hand. When Indrid takes it, rough, gentle lips meet the back of his hand.

When their eyes meet, he’s grinning like a lovesick teenager and Duck’s eyes put the fireflies to shame.

“Welcome home, Indrid.”

Indrid would like to say that he spent his first night pouring out his soul, atoning for all his wrongs, and taking stock of his life and needs.

But the truth is that it takes only a few minutes before he’s staggering into a warm, cozy bedroom and burrowing beneath covers of the large bed. Duck takes up a spot beside him, reading contentedly as Indrid settles in. Then Indrid curls up against him, and as a kind, comforting hand caresses his wings and hair he falls hard and gratefully into a peaceful sleep.

#Indruck #indrid cold/duck newton #prompt fill #superhero au

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anarchist-billy · 5 years

Note

hi sweet pal! yeah I'm super new to the fandom so I've just been recced a bunch of 'classic' fics if you get my drift so they're pretty much all bottom steve, ain't nothing with that but bottom billy is just so delicious to me! you mentioned a fic rec list? yes please thank youuuu!!!

Hello, darling! First of all - WELCOME to the Harringrove fandom! I’m so excited you’re here to add to this incredible group of people in this wonderful, wild fandom of ours! 🖤

I’ll admit, I am not as well-read as some other folks around these parts, but I am the absolute madman that decided to head up the Harringrove Library project, so I do have access to a lengthy list of fics. Huge shoutout to all my cohorts who have been logging away with me for the last…Jesus….Six months? Yikes. We’ll get the blog live eventually, I promise!

Anyway…suffice all that to say, this is by no means an extensive list, merely a little smorgasbord of fics I could find that have been labeled as Bottom!Billy.

Ride the Lightning by @womenseemwicked - 11k

Billy takes Steve to a concert in Indianapolis. Steve does his damn best to fit in. His best is still preppy as shit.

you should find your way home (i’ll be at your front door) by @lucybrown45 - 10k

Billy’s California is not what Steve expects, but it’s good. It’s what he needs. For once he feels like he’s in the right place at the right time.

so this one I read some time ago, and I’m like 93% sure it’s just bottom!Billy, but don’t hold me to it if it ends up being verse. Either way, it’s such a good fic and definitely worth a read imho.

One Wild Night by KittyleFay - 8k

Upon discovering that Steve likes boys, Billy offers to take him to a gay bar on the edge of town to get him laid. There’s one problem: Billy keeps cock-blocking Steve.

It’s Not a One Way Street by im_your_hope - 6k

Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can’t see.

(“Get warm, you fucker,” he whispers aggressively in Billy’s ear.)

This one features one of my favorite tropes - cuddling for warmth. ;)

We’re a Thousand Miles from Comfort (But There’s No Place I’d Rather Be) by HobbitSpaceCase - 5k

Insomnia and too many bad memories send Steve out looking for something to take his mind off his lonely life. What he finds is Billy Hargrove, a mysterious substance in the woods, and the fulfillment of his most deeply buried fantasies.

A Man After Midnight by moonflowers - 4k

When Steve first spotted him, Macho Man was, somewhat ironically, blasting out over the speakers. The dress was electric blue, and probably a little more eighties than seventies, but Steve wasn’t about to nitpick.

Honey Whiskey by quinnvicious - 4k

When they get to a point where they can just barely hear the thumping of the music over the chirping crickets, Billy’s serious expression cracks and he bursts out laughing like a drunken, deranged hyena. Steve can’t help but join in, and then they’re both giggling and stumbling around the forest like idiots. Steve bumps into him to snatch the bottle of whiskey from his fist and takes a burning swallow. It warms his blood too much in the balm of the edge-of-summer night and he drags the back of a hand over his mouth with a ragged sound before passing it back. Billy snickers at his expense and fishes a cigarette out of his pack.

Up Is Down and Down Is Up by dragonspell - 4k

A few short weeks ago, Steve would never have guessed in a million years that he would find himself here, watching Billy Hargrove fight back the urge to come just because Steve’s inside him. The thought would have been ludicrous; the idea of Billy in Steve’s bed absurd. And yet here they are, Billy pretending that he’s on a date with some girl while parking a few blocks down from Steve’s house. When Steve’s parents are home, he sneaks in through the window, but tonight, he’d used the front door.

(Or, a flimsy excuse to write Harringrove porn)

You love this, you need it. by Anonymous - 4k

Billy and Steve have a little dom and sub relationship. It helps billy when he needs to let go.

Plastic Bruises by spaceagelovesong - 3.5k

“slap bracelets,” billy repeats. “sounds like some kinky shit to me—“ he breaks off into another laugh.

steve practically glows. he loves seeing billy laugh. it’s scary, but, like, in a sexy way.

“you want me to get kinky,” steve says, in his best billy voice. “we can get kinky.”

Whoever logged this for the library put in the notes “If anyone has a snap bracelet fetish, do I have the fic for you…” lol

Lucky You by retoxification - 3.5k

All that Billy really wants in life is his hot boyfriend to fuck him until he can’t think.

That’s it, that’s the plot.

Fresh Blood by @sightetsound - 3k

Never had a lap-dance before,” Steve replied impishly.

The intensity of Billy’s stare wiped Steve’s grin clean off his face.

“You want a lap-dance so bad, I’ll give you one.

Anniversary by spaceagelovesong - 2k

billy hargrove knows how to fuck, but steve harrington knows how to make love.

it’s been about a year, but neither of them are counting. after all, every night together is a celebration.

we love making (whispers) by pally (palliris) - 2k

Steve loves breaking Billy apart; loves being torn apart, himself.

Sore by @womenseemwicked - 1.5k

Sometimes Billy works out too hard and can hardly move the next day. Lucky he has Steve to take care of him then.

And now…Not sure if A/B/O is your thing, but I figured I’d include two fics that are Omega!Billy, just in case. ;) I love both of these fics a lot and they’re hot as heck.

Heatstroke by HobbitSpaceCase - 8k

Billy is out of suppressants and going into Heat. Steve finds him. It’s too bad Billy can’t have this every time.

Don’t Belong To Anyone (Else) by @sparkleeye - 30k

Billy is a stubborn idiot and goes to school during his heat.

Honorable Mention: Those American Thighs by tracy7307 - 1.5k

He placed his hands on the tops of Billy’s golden thighs – spread his fingers apart and rubbed from his knees up, up, until his fingertips dipped under the legs of Billy’s shorts. The hair rasped under his hands. His thighs were still a bit slick from that suntan oil that Billy loved to use and from the sweat of working outdoors on a summer day.

This one isn’t Bottom!Billy per se, as it’s intercrural, but it’s Billy’s thighs that are being fucked and gosh golly it is HOT. I’m kinda obsessed with it. So it gets a shoutout here.

I also found a couple Tumblr drabbles buried in my reblogs for you:

Prompt fill by @trashmouse

Prompt fill by thebeautyinchains

And here’s a post/drabble I forgot I wrote about some first time Bottom!Billy. ;)

Finally, I will leave you with this art piece I found in my hunt by @delphineygt. I think most of the Sexy fanart has been banished from tungl dot com at this point, but this gem survived and I’m so happy about it so I wanted to share.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got to offer for now. Happy reading, friend! 🤗

#harringrove #fic rec #harringrove fic rec #bottom!billy hargrove #asks #me and the mouse in my pocket

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atc74 · 5 years

Text

Glory of Love

Square(s) Filled: Free Space for Fluff, Vacation for BTZ

Warnings: teeth rotting fluff, mentions of making love, mentions of the death of loved ones (SEE TEETH ROTTING FLUFF - I PROMISE)

Summary: Dean and Y/N get a few days to themselves and Dean admits some things he has felt for a while now, but was too scared.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 732

Written for: @spnfluffbingo2019, BTZ Bingo

Beta’d by: @amanda-teaches, my heart and soul who said this: “Okay, I want to say something about every single sentence but it's just so eeee! I have no words, only squealy sounds” I love her. A + A 4ever

A/N: I’m such a whore for cheesy 80′s movie love songs. This song (and movie) were released before a good portion of my fanbase was even born, but it is sooooo 80′s and wonderful. I usually run everything by @alleiradayne first but didn’t let her read this one before posting.

There aren’t many people in this world, living or dead, that I can say I have felt so deeply for. My parents, though one was taken from us too soon and the other was never up for father of the year, but I know he did the best he could. Bobby was more of a dad than dad ever was, and well, Ellen, I knew she loved us like her own. Charlie and Cas round it out. Sammy will always be at the top of that list and I knew I could never do this without him. I think back on all the women, but none of them can hold a candle to Y/N. Not even Lisa or Cassie. What I felt for them was real, but I always kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it did.

But Y/N? Yeah, the other shoe drops all the time, on apocalyptic levels, that’s the life we lead. But she understands and she knows the risks and she’s here with me anyway. We’ve taken a few days for ourselves, holed up in Rufus’s old hunting cabin in Montana. There’s no big bad on the loose threatening our very existence. It’s quiet for once and we deserve a vacation. The fridge is stocked, the cooler is full and my heart is fuller than I’ve ever felt before.

She’s sitting next to me on the rickety old swing on the front porch, watching the sun set slowly over the endless acres of evergreens. It’s clear to me now, as we’re both here, alive, healthy, and our relationship is thriving. There are so many things I want to say. I will always love you. I will never leave you alone. I think to myself, but I’m not sure if I can say the words. So I reach for her hand, entwining my fingers with hers. I see her glance down to where we are joined. She doesn’t say anything, just smiles and returns her attention to the setting sun, her head resting on my shoulder.

Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret and it breaks my heart to see you crying. I don’t want to lose you. I could never make it alone. I want to say these things to her. I want her to know that I am going to forget an anniversary, I’m going to forget some things. But I’ll never forget the day I met her. I’ll never forget the look on her face or how I felt the first time we kissed. I’ll never forget the overwhelming emotions I felt the first time we made love. I know I can be an ass sometimes. I can be overbearing and overprotective with her, even Sam. But it’s my job to look out for my family. She’s my family now.

I will fight for her, I will fight for her honor. I want to be the hero she’s been dreaming of. She’s no damsel in distress and I’m no hero, but she makes me feel like I am. She makes me feel like I can do anything as long as she is by my side. Before my brain can register my lips moving, the words are flowing from my mouth and I turn to meet her eyes.

“You keep me standing tall. You help me through it all. I’m always strong when you’re beside me. I have always needed you. I could never make it alone,” I whisper. It’s just me and her and the crickets.

“And you’ll never have to. I’ll always be here to pick you up when you fall. I’ll be here to hold you when you need to let it all out. I’ll carry you when you need to rest. You’ll never have to burden the weight on your own,” she whispered back, squeezing my hand.

“I will always love you,” I vowed, leaning in to kiss her.

“I will never leave you alone,” she echoed, kissing me back.

The thoughts will always be there, but I won’t always be able to say them and somehow she just knows. It’s not part of my rough and tumble hunter exterior, it’s how I was raised. I swear from this moment forward, she will never have to guess what I am feeling for her. And I know in return, I will bask in the glory of her love.

The Whole Enchilada: @iwantthedean @dolphincliffs @mrswhozeewhatsis @meganwinchester1999 @cherrycokegirls1 @closetspngirl @roxyspearing @flamencodiva @blacktithe7 @sis-tafics @just-another-busyfangirl @evansrogerskitten @amanda-teaches @hannahindie @wotinspntarnation @winchesterprincessbride @winecatsandpizza @kickingitwithkirk @wi-deangirl77 @hobby27 @mogaruke @gh0stgurl @paintrider13-blog @hunterscabin @alleiradayne @idreamofplaid @seenashwrite @crashdevlin

The Dean’s List: @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @dean-winchesters-bacon @maddiepants @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @adoptdontshoppets @mtngirlforever @supernatural-jackles

#spnfluffbingo2019 #btz bingo #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean x read #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfiction

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opinuun · 5 years

Text

Do you guys remember when this was a studio Ghibli blog and I’d post gifs? 2017 was a good year lol. Anyway. As a child, I never knew I’d thirst for a 2-D otome man, but sadly I’ve stopped. Yes, after two years of obsession, it’s time I retire from the fandom. I’m keeping the blog though. Ran this shit for years, ain’t gonna give up now that my horny-meter has plummeted to an all time record low. Did you guys know blogs don’t have a character limit??

Oh god. I didn’t know this blog would suddenly receive so much attention. Please, I am begging you to not scroll down. It’s endless MysticMessenger posts from two years ago.

Hey, I'm once again: back, you can't possibly have more time than I do. I mean, after all, I made this blog. You're only browsing it. And most people don't even come here. Not even my friends...*sniffle* The just ignore this poor, pathetic little page. All they do is fill out the TAB form and leave. I think. Maybe they're here right now! HI! HOW ARE YOU DOING? I'M FINE! THANKS FOR COMING! YES, I'M YELLING! Who am I kidding. This page won't get a single hit, unless I bribe people...now that has possibilities. Okay, fill out the TAB form, so I have proof that you bothered to come here and...uh...I'll...uh...send you a sandwich? Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. I'm bored. I'm gonna go hug a moose. MOOSE! I love-d you moose! Hey, I'm back again! Yea...*waits for applause* okay! Now I want all you loyal fans...*cricket chirps* to go to the link to see what I'm like. I took a whole bunch of personality quizzes and posted them there. I'm an evil villain, kitty and a freakazoid so far. And I only took the quiz once, too. Spooky how accurate they are...anyway, I command you to go! I'm going. I'm back. I'm gonna start counting how many times I say back. Let's see: 1...2...3...4...5! Wow. I must really be desperate for something to do. I now officially have proof that someone has been here! It was one of my friends. Apparently this page really is getting long, because my friend said something to that effect. Maybe. Anyway, moving on! I'm just basically typing nothing. Just like all those reports people have to do. You know? With a specific number of words. They start out with half that number, and then just fill in words until they have the right amount. I salute those people. You're great tradition is being carried out here, on the second most pointless site ever! Well. Maybe eventually some weird, bored person will wander onto my site on accident and be mildly entertained be my site until they wander onto a live video feed of a coffee maker. Or maybe not. I only know that I'm entertaining me, which was my original goal. So. I've done what I've set out to accomplish. Yea, me! I'm so special. You see, most people, they don't like reading or writing. So if you're not most people, you've made it down this far without skipping, skimming or getting the spark notes version. (Which I think does not exist) My point is, if you've bothered to read this, then, (like me) you probley have also read the ketchup bottle so many times that you have it down verbatim. Look verbatim up. It's a word. But, you should know that, since you like reading. Or maybe you're just skimming. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with reading food labels. You might be asked a question about them on a quiz show. And now, for the million-dollar question: How many calories are there in a single serving of Mustard? I can just see it now...It could be called Know-Your-Food. Or You are What you Eat. It'd probley be as popular as those game shows that no one's ever heard of. Speaking of food, what's up with pie? There's strawberry pie, apple, pumpkin and so many others, but there is no grape pie! I know. I'm just as upset about this unfortunate lack of development in the pie division. Think about it. Grapes are used to make jelly, jam, juice and raisins. What makes them undesirable for pie? Would they dry into raisins? Couldn't you just stick some jelly in a piecrust and bake it? It just doesn't make any sense. Another thing that bothers me is organ grinders. You know, the foreign guys with the bellhop hats and the little music thingy and the cute little monkey with the bellhop hat who collects the money? Okay. They're basically begging on the street. How did they ever afford an organ-thingy? Wouldn't it make more sense to get a kazoo, if you're broke? And if they're so poor, what possessed them to buy a monkey? I mean, I don't think I could afford a monkey, and I'm not exactly on the streets. Obviously I at least have a computer...so, back to the organ grinders. I would have sold the monkey and the organ and been able to eat for at least a year. Or, if I was weirder than I am, I could at least kill the monkey with the organ and eat it. Why on earth did they keep the monkey? It must have cost a fortune to feed...not to mention the mess. That's just one of those many facts of life that are better left mysteries. Especially since no one but me would ask the question. I better go. I think I hear a monkey...Okay...now I'm back. That's the sixth time I've said back! I realize that this longest text ever must be very boring and not worth anyone's time. But I'd like to take this time to thank the 2 and 1/2 people in the entire universe who have bothered to read this entire thing. I'm not exactly sure who they are, but: thanks! Right now, my spacebar is malfunctioning...that's not good...I have to press it two or three times just to insert a freaking space. Maybe the evil little faeries with the sharp little teeth have put their evil faerie dust on my computer. Or maybe not. This is too frustrating. Goodbye for now...Now I'm back. And still frustrated. But for a different reason. Today I had the misfortune of playing a Treasure Planet game on neopets.com It was terrible. Apparently the point of the game was to get your character to shout "Whoo-Hoo!" as many times as possible before you splattered your brains on the rocks, all the while listening to a soundtrack that is similar to a dying ceiling fan. Of course, when I started out I accidentally hit the rocks approximately three million times. Halfway though I used my four remaining brain-cells to decide that the game was dumb. So my goal changed from surviving to laughing evilly while my character died. So the game naturally did everything it could to preserve my life. The stupid game is still going on and I refuse to quit because I want my points. My character is actually dodging the stupid rocks better now then when I controlled him. I hate irony. Seeya. Okay. Now I'm back again. Today I added an update page, which is basically a less chaotic, outlined version of this without all the ranting. It's more like techno talk about arrays and how much I suck and whether or not the Braves will win this year. Okay, the whole braves thing is made up. But everything else I've said so far is true. I think. Maybe I should start on a boring disclaimer...Eh-hem. All contents of this site were designed for entertainment purposes only. Any use thereof that is not stated in the above mentioned statement would make the author, hereby referred to as Patron Saint of Paper Clips, very angry. Should you violate the purpose of this site: i.e. become not entertained, the Patron Saint of Paper Clips will be forced to take drastic measures. This is specified in Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook. Ooooo…that’s a great idea! I’m gonna start quoting from the Flaming Chicken Handbook! Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook states that the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (that’s me) is allowed to cause vague, pain like sensations while the offending person (or alien life form, dog, etc.) isn’t paying attention. Now I have a purpose in life! To make up quotes from the non-existent Flaming Chicken Handbook, which I’m sure you have a copy of. No? Too bad. It’s in the mail, I promise! Now I must take my leave…and remember. Cheese is watching. Okay...I'm back...I think that eventually half of this thing will consist of the word back over and over again...that's just weird. Which fits the motif of the rest of the site. There's even a money back guarantee. Isn’t' that nice? See? Now no one can ever say that I don't take care of my viewers. Especially since I don't have viewers. I have readers. Wait...I really don't even know if anyone bothers to read this. Even if I put it in a less chaotic, more user-friendly format people would still ignore this because it involves: reading. Yes. Sad to admit, but the majority of people would rather read the summary at the back of a book rather than the whole book itself. What has the world come to? It's pathetic. Especially since I'm bothering to write all this. It's not fair! Why can't I have more readers?! All the other internet writers have nothing on me, except they're better at advertising, having a central theme/plot and basically more talented. Whereas I'm more into the whole ranting and raving stage right now. Plus, I am horrible at spelling. Which is bad. Thank the powers that be for spell-check. The single greatest invention of the computer gods. I'm getting bored, so I think I'm done for the day. May your day be shiney! I'm back again! And I feel weird! I found at that yet another one of my friends is reading this. Creepy. Just how much time do they have on their hands. Perhaps their just trying to be nice. I can just see it now...an organization devoted not to feeding the hungry, or peace, or love or whatever, but to giving recognition to all those poor, pathetic, unpopular websites. I wonder what it's name would be. Don't Ignore Sites? Would it be called DIS? Isn't that like a slang term for an insult? Would that be considered poetic justice, or just a nice coincidence? And why do I even care? I'll tell you why. Because I have nothing else to do right now. I could be playing neopets, but ever since my bad experience with Treasure Planet, I don't feel like it. Oh, by the way, I noticed that whenever I use spell-check, my stupid computer turns the word probley into to word problem. To prevent this, I did nothing. So, it is now up to you, the imaginary reader, to decide whether I mean probley or problem...it's almost like a game! But without the bad sound track. And I promise not to force you to live when you would rather die. Moving on, I have nothing else to say, but don't feel like quitting just yet. I'm like the little engine that could. Or maybe the Energizer Bunny. I just keep going, and going and going. Or I could be like that annoying guy on T.V. who keeps asking if you can hear him. If my site manages to last a decade, my readers *snicker* will probley wonder what I'm talking about. My answer is simple. It doesn't matter. I'm just rambling. Which means that it doesn't matter if you understand anything I say. Doesn't that make you feel better? I bet it does. Wow. Look how long this has gotten. I even impress myself. Who would have thought I have this much free time? And I congratulate any reader who has gotten this far. Ooooooo! You must check out the fortunes section of the random stuff page! I've just gotten an idea for some more, original, fortunes...I gotta go!(may the moose be with you) And now I am back. I swear. If iI fill out the fake tab form I'm gonna have to put back as my favorite word...I already have filled it out, though. Would it be cheating to fill it out again? Only if I had multiple personalities. Or would it be cheating if I didn't have multiple personalities? The world may never know. Just like how many licks it takes to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop. Would it vary? The number of licks, I mean. Someone could have super-disolving spit, or watery-spit. Or what if you took big ol' slobbery licks? Does the commercial take that into account? No. It doesn't. And let me tell you, it's an outrage. It deludes all of American's sweet, innocent, candy-loving children into thinking that a cartoon owl is smarter than they are! "Mr. Owl, can you tell us how many licks does it take to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop?" Or whatever. And "Mr. Owl" replies "One...Twoo...Three! Chomp" And he bites it. That teaches our youth that it's okay to agree to help someone, and then ruin their experiment. Well...it's not. I am going to start a protest group. Teens Against Cartoon Owls. We could call ourselves TACO! I love the little tacos, I love them good! That is a direct quote from GIR, co-star and comic-relief on INVADER ZIM. Hmmmm...intersting. I put hyphens in both of his titles...it must be a conspiracy! I gotta go. Those TACO buttons don't make themselves, you know. I'm back again. And not so cheesed off about the whole tootsie roll pop thing. Right now, I have another twenty minutes on the Internet before I'm gonna watch T.V. And I can't think of anything else to do. So, predictably, here I am. It's not like I have anything better to do. Obviously, you know this. After all, look how long this text is. I wonder if I've made the world record? If I did, would I stop this? Why bother asking? I'll will most likely still be adding to this on my death bed. Hmmmmm...has any old, senile person ever written anything? Was it coherent? Did it make more sense that this text? Is it possible to make less sense? Am I enjoying asking retorical questions? Yes. Yes, I am. But I seriously wonder what something written by a senile person would be like. I've heard of poems and stuff written by people who were high, insane or paranoid. But never senile. Can a senile person write? Aren't they regressed to a child-like state? Does it even matter? Is anyone even reading this? Did I resume asking retorical questions? Do you care? Is this eating up time? I feel like I'm playing questions only on whose line is it anway. I probley should have capitalized something, or underlined but I'm feeling lazy...hey, you try to keep your two and a half readers happy! It's really stressfull. Someday, I'm gonna snap and just delete this entire thing. Gee, I hope not! I worked sorta hard on this. It's great for making random topics weave together to form an overall infrastructure of chaos. That made little sense. That's why it's here, and not some critically acclaimed site. Ooooooooooooo! I'm gonna quote from the FLAMING CHICKENS HANDBOOK again! Yep! I bet you were just breathless in anticipation. Okay. Here goes. Code: 472 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that this site in no way aknowledges the existance of other, better sites (hereon reffered to as the Losers) The Losers are a myth. The Patron Saint of Paper Clips (me again!) claims no knowledge as to where that particullary nasty rumor started, but confirms that this is the best site ever. It would be a sin against humanity for a better site to exist. Should you refuse to aknowledge the Patron Saint of Paper Clips as the ruler of the Internet, you will be subjected to punishment as stated in Code 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook (i.e. Experience vague, pain-like sensations when you're not paying attention) This has been a public service announcement. This is a test, I repeat only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have bought up all the can openers and charged 3 cows and a pig for each one. I repeat, lock all you doors and windows, this is it. I repeat, there is nothing to worry about. Everything is fine. The end is not here. I'm going, you're on you're own! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm back!*smiles brightly* And apparantly delusional! Anyway, I just finished rereading my longest text ever. And I became inspired to talk about nothing. You see, I periodically read the longest text ever to check the constant downward spiral of my sanity. Hmmm...I seem to be entertaining myself though, even while reading what I wrote. Which is why I still go to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website. Because I am easily amused and have lots and lots of time on my hands. Maybe, some day far in the future (like next Thursday) I'll print a copy of this insane text. And then go door to door distributing it. Eventually, this would become a monthly tradition. Whole families would gather around their front door, in breathless anticipation while they attempted to barracade me out. I can just see the whole community rising to thwart my attempts to spread love, joy and insane chaos. I probley wouldn't actually print this out (think how much paper it would take!) but if I do, only friends and enemies will receive copies. Hmmmm...maybe my condition is worsening. Or not. I'm still peeved about the cartoon owl from the Tootsie Roll Pop commercials. He is pure evil. TACO will eventually destroy him. Unless he has already been destroyed by an even more radical Anti-Cartoon-Owl group. I hope not. Or, would that be good? I suppose I could let someone else have the glory. After all, I'm not in this line of buisness for the fame, fortune and power. What line of buisness, do you ask? Why, the assasinating annoying cartoon characters buisness. (Actually I just question them untill they spontaneously combust, I ask lots of questions) So, in conclusion, ladies and gentleman of the jury(that's you) I could not have possibly tortured "Mr. Owl" to death. I love owls. Hmm...I seem to be jumping from one subject to another more frequently. Either I am growing more comfortable with my on-line writing, or I am progressivly getting more insane and chaotic. I also am psyco-analyzing myself a lot today...hmmmm...I'm even saying "hmmmmm..." a lot. Just like a real psychologist. Hmmmmmmm. Time for another boring disclaimer!!!!!!! Code: 742 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that in no part does the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (That's still me!) actually claim to be mentally ill. That's either a) a publicity stunt b) An attempt at humor c) a cry for help or d) none of the above You can e-mail your responses by conducting a scavenger hunt of this site. Some of the pages of this site contain a link encouging the two and a half people to e-mail the Patron Saint of Paper Clips. There may also be evil little links that are designed to confuse you. These links send stuff to someone named [email protected] Saint of Paper Clips does not know who this individual is, but sincerly wishes that you send all your hate mail to him. Not that the aformentioned individual claims to have received hate mail (or mail of any kind) via a website link. Thank-you for your time. Remember to send your answers to my sanity quiz to the e-mail account, [email protected] Oh, and once I refer to myself in the first person again, the handbook quote is over. I just thought that I might like to mention that. Oh. You're still here. I figured you rush right on over to e-mail me. Perhaps you don't have time to waste e-mailing me. HA! HA! HA! That's funny!!!! If you you don't have time to waste, what are you doing here?!!! Oh, who am I kidding. I figure that even the people I manage to lure onto my site from neopets don't even bother to come to this particular page. Maybe I should make the link come here directly...Hey! What a good idea! That way I can spread my love, joy and insane chaos to more people! I'm a genius. Gotta go, must lure innocent victems to the second most pointless site ever!!!! I'm back. And really angry, and confused. I've always known that I was weird, that's always been a given. But now I realize that I am considerably more normal than the rest of my family. Today we had a "family outing." Now, most families will go bowling, or putt-putt golfing. They may go to a resteraunt with an arcarde, or the movies or to a theme park. Not my family! No, we got the greatest family outing of all. We got to go to a bar and play pool!!!!!*waits for readers to become insanely jealous* Yep, that's right, a bar with a pool table! Not only did we get world class cuisine (under-cooked hotdogs and over-cooked hamburgers), my little sister (age 10) got taught pool by someone I strongly supect is an ex-convict! Naturally when it was announced that we'd be eating dinner in this place, I could hardly contain my excitment(I glared at my mother and asked why we couldn't go to Pizza Hut) When we arrived, we were promptly served (after thirty minutes) In the meantime, we played a family game of pool(my parents played while my brother and sister and I watched) After two rousing rounds, our food came. The food was superb, (our food came the exact opposite of how we ordered it, and half of the onion rings were missing) Then we joyfully returned to our game(my sister and the ex-con played my mom) We spent hours there (from 5p.m.-7:15p.m.) There were many people that were the same age as me and my siblings (no one in the room but us were under 30) Us kids had to be dragged kicking and screaming from the bar ( I almost fell asleep during the last game I watched) As we left, there was a feeling of goodwill and fellowship between all(my sister locked me out of the car and wouldn't let me in untill I started yelling profanity in her general direction) The high point of the entire night was when my mother gave me $21 for my report card. She promptly borrowed $1 to help with the waitresses tip(This part I'm not being sarcastic about) All in all it was a night I'll remember forever (as the lowest point in "family outing"history, except for that time my mom dragged me to a church thing on the concept of truth.) My brother(age 13) even decided upon a new job he wants when he's old enough to work, a busboy at the bar. We had to tell him that he would probley have to wait untill he was 21.(Absolutly nothing about that statement was sarcastic) As you can see, I love my families outings(Not unless you're blind...or stupid) &#!#%&&!!!(*%$ WHAT THE %$#@ WAS MY MOTHER $#$#%$# THINKING!!!!!!!???? BRINGING $#$$# KIDS IN A BAR!? I know it was her idea, 'cause my dad hates it, too. My mom and my stupid little 10-year old sister loves it, though. *sighs* Why does my life have to be so weird? I'm leaving...now I'm back! And not so pissed at my weird family. Now is the time to mourn the loss of one of my most loyal readers (I think she's read the entire thing one time, which is more than anyone else has done so far) She has been banned from accesing any portion of the Internet, do to reasons that must remain confidental due to security reasons. If I told you, I'd have to kill you and all that stuff. So...now I am down to one and a half readers. Untill such time that I have more. I wonder why anyone would read this? You would have to have several characteristics that I possess. First of all, you'd have to have an extrodinary amount of free time. Second of all, you would have to have the patience to read through all of this. And lastly, you'd have to know where the heck this site is. I admit it. I haven't exactly advertised this site. Nor can I find it on any search engines. Some of my pages have stuff written in to make search engines recognize me, but it doesn't seem to be working. What must I do to rise above obscurity? I tell people I know about this site, but they either ignore this page, or don't even bother coming to the site in the first place. I suppose that is the bane of all authors. To pour your heart and soul into a passage, and have everyone ignore it. *sniffle* Why must this be? Maybe I should just give up. After all, no one would really care if I quit updating this site. But I can't help but think of stuff like the evil over lord list and REALLY REALLY BIG BUTTON THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING. They are not great neccesarily because of the content, (although that helps some) they are great because of their sheer length. You can read a little each day. And almost never finish. Also, I guess I still am trying to get the world record. I have heard some feedback suggesting that I make someway for people to remember where they stopped reading. It can be very confusing, especially if you weren't paying attention in the first place. Well, I dont want to organize this page, in any manner. This is chaos. And insanity. Not neat little text in classifiable rows, in alphabetical order. If you want neat, go to some other site(though, as mentioned in Flaming Chickens Code:472 there is no such thing as a site better than this one). Otherwise, I guess you're stuck with me. Awwwww...I'm touched! You didn't run screaming to another site, thankfull for the chance to escape this insanity. You're still here, which must mean that you'd rather be here than anywhere else! Hey, where are you going?! I thought you were gonna stay here and keep me company?! *drags reader back* See, I knew you'd stay! *gagged reader glares* What's that? I know this is the best site ever, thanks for the compliment! *reader starts inching towards freedom* I better go...I think that I may have a problem brewing. I'm back. And very concerned about this new, younger generation (all 10 year olds who were born in 1992) They are supposed to be the future. Instead they appear to be a nuclear armagedon in the form of a fifth grader. I chanced to have an interview with an informant from this evil generation (my little sister) who will be called Mrs. X for security reasons (no, she's not married, the "Mrs" makes it good as a disguise) I was quizing Mrs. X on Civil War History for an upcoming test in her classroom (whose location can not be devulged) Mrs. X seemed fluent in the subject. Using prior knowledge, I deduced that Mrs. X was full of crap. Out of sheer curiosity, I asked Mrs. X who participated in the Civil War. She immediatly replied "Clara Barton". I clarified, which countries fought in the Civil War. She answered: England, Russia, and (out of sheer desperation) Iraq. I believe that she was just listing countries she knows America has fought against. Now, correct me if I'm wrong...but Iraq? I don't know if Iraq even existed in the Civil War Era! Why on earth would we go have way across the world to fight them when we didn't even really need oil?!! Moving on, I finaly managed to coax my sister (I'm tired of writing Mrs. X) to tentativly guess that America fought in the Civil War. I mean, who'd a thought? America? Fighting in the American Civil War? In a moment of inspiration, I asked her who America fought. Her first guess was enslaved africans. Well, at least she knows that slaves were involved in the war. Before she could start listing all of America's enemies, I gave her a hint. I said "The Union fought..." With a crack, snaple and pop, some random synapses in her brain connected in the right order and she said "CONFEDERACY!!!" I was very proud of her, just as you would be proud of a two-year-old who has just announced: "I WENT POO-POO ON THE POTTY!!!!!" What I mean is, you wouldn't be very proud if the average person said that they just took a dookey on the toilet, and you wouldn't be very proud if they knew who fought against the Union in the Civil War. I confirmed that the Union was Northern and Free, and that the Confederacy was Southern and Slave. We resumed quizzing and she got every question on the worksheet correct. This is because she memorizes the questions. That way, she can pass the test without actually learning anything. You see, if you memorize stuff, you only have to remember that the answer to number 6 is Clara Barton for a week, rather than having to remember that Clara Barton started the Red Cross for the rest of you life. I sincerely appologize if anyone is offended by my view of memorization. I also would like such persons to immediatly leave my site. You don't belong here. You see...knowledge is good. If my sister...uh...Mrs. X were ever asked a question on the Civil War on a quiz show, she'd come up with nothing. With knowledge you can win money and the opportunity to look like a dork on national television. My sister is a big believer in the memorization system. I previous time when I was studying with her (American Revolution, this time) I was trying to help her remember the difference between the Patriots(Patriotic to America) and the Loyalists (Loyal to Britain) She didn't know what the word patriotic meant. I tried to explain. I asked her how you dress on the forth of july (she said nice) I asked what the colors red, white and blue were (pretty). I gave up in exasperation. More recently, I was trying to instill a sense of empathy and niceness in her. I asked her what the golden rule of christianity was. She didn't know. When I pressed her, she confessed she didn't know what chrisianity was. Completly defeated, I told her that it was the religion she practiced every Sunday when she went with her friends to church. This confirmed my suspicion that she only went so that she could have the use of the church's playground equipment. My family also strongly suspects that she stole $20 from the donation thingy. Anyway, that's my rant on the new generation that contains my little sister. When someone of her generation runs for president, I'm gonna do a complete background check. If they're anything like my sister, I'm movin' to Canada. Gotta go...the Russian-Brittish-Iraqi-enslaved-Africans are coming to defeat the Mexicans. I'm back! *there's that darn cricket again* And I have a genuine question to ask all of my loyal readers *cough-cough* Okay, here it is: Is it normal for a non-gender specific sibling to carry around various dead reptiles (snakes, turtles, lizards etc.) Furthormore, is it considered accepted behavior to talk to these dead reptiles, in a cooey, baby talky kind of voice? Finnaly, is it expected for said sibling's non-gender specific parent to encourage such behavior, citing "I was just like that as a child" as an excuse? It's an honest question as I fear that my non-gender specific sibling is weird. Who am I kidding? My entire family is weird. It's just a matter of degree. Hey, by the way. I'm sorry that my last few entries have been only about my various family antics. Although I can't see why you care, because there is a large probability that you do not exist, because I don't think anyone is reading this anymore. How discouraging. People need to make the time to waste time. It's a time honored tradition. Who'd thought that I could use time that many times in only a few sentences? It's been pretty quiet here lately, which is why I haven't added anything to this text in awhile. I know, you were just crushed that nothing new was happening. It's a sad, cold, cruel world out there and you had nothing to relieve the monotony of it. *sniffle* I feel so sorry for you! Next thing you know, you're internet connection will die. Well, too bad! Do you know I never even had a computer untill just a few months ago (that's why I'm obsessivly writing here) So I won't pity you if you're computer dies for unexpected reasons. Time for another quote from the FLAMING CHICKEN HANDBOOK!!! Code: 843 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook states that in no way is the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who?) responsible for any faulty wiring or lack thereof in your computer. The Patron Saint of Paper Clips in no way wishes harm on your computer. Any derogatory statement is simply an opinion of an individual, not of the flaming order of the flaming chickens. Said order will in no way be held responsible for any damages, injuries, loss of life, limb, head, or organs. Okay, quote is done. Maybe I should put quotation marks around them...nah, too much work. But I probably will eventually get around to having a seperate page just for the FLAMING CHICKEN HANDBOOK. That way all the members (what members) can print out a copy of it for themselves (if they didn't get that copy in the mail) I guess I'm done for the day...I know. You want me to stay. It's okay. Because eventually, I'll be back! Seeya! I'm back. And once again suprised. When I was at a TAB poetry thingy (TAB is good TAB is great We love TAB) I met some new people. One of these people (who shall remain nameless untill such time that I have explicit permission to use her name) turned out to be almost as weird as me. As in...she read the ENTIRE Longest Text Ever. The whole thing. So far two whole people (to my knowledge) have read the entire thing, and a few people have skimmed it. That means I really can justify claiming to have two and a half readers! I'm so happy! That means my pointless obsession has actually entertained someone besides me! Perhaps, one day, far in the future, this will actually be a world record and random people will acutally voluntarily read this text every day. Or maybe not. The point is that it is nice to have readers. Or maybe it's not...I mean...won't the quality *snicker* of my work deteriorate if I am no longer writing for the target audience of me? If that happens, then no one will read this. And then I'll be writing for me again. And then the quality will rise. And then people will start reading. And then the quality will go down and the vicious spiral of good and bad will continue untill I either give up this text, or go crazy...er. In any case...I should probably find a topic. Yeah...a topic would be good. Or...I could just continue to write about finding a topic. Ooooo! I know a topic! Ice cream trucks! This has been bothering me for a while. You see...when it's hot, you want something cold to eat. Conviently, ice cream trucks come around during the hottest part of the year (it must be a conspiracy). As you may or may not know, small children swarm the ice cream trucks. The vendors even play whimsical music which I strongly suspect contains subliminal messages to make you hungry for ice cream. The vendors get oodles of cash, and the kids get ice cream. Now, in today's society of buying groceries on-line and getting them delivered, why hasn't any other food industry marketed this ingenius idea to bring the product to the consumer. I can just see Hot Dog, and Pizza trucks roaming the neighbor hoods, selling treats to hungry children...and adults. Of course, said adults would have to peel their butt-cheeks off the couch...but they'd have to do that for the delivary man anyway. The food trucks could even play music that made you hungry for their food. Then the problem with obesity in America would be blamed on evil food truck drivers as opposed to the harmless, benificient television and computer. We could all breath a sigh of relief as parents kept their children inside, away from the evil truck drivers and near the T.V. Gone would be the days when parents told children to play outside, it's a nice day. Parents would buy their children computers, video games and other television neccesities. This, of course would expand the market for such products. This would lead to a better, more stable economy. Food industires would be buying cars, gas and music. Parents would increase the purchase of entertainment items. In return companies would make a profit, pay their workers better. The workers would then be able to afford more entertainment items and the upward spiral would continue, as opposed to the evil downward spiral of my writing. In conclusion, Ladies and Gentlemen...if you implement my idea, there will be peace and prosperity for all. As long as you don't mind a few more couch potatoes. Gotta go...I think I hear a catchy jingle. I'm back...it's been awhile since I've written here. A lot has happened. Like my EVIL school computer deleting my updates page. But it's all good. Especially since I just saw The Matrix: Reloaded. The following text may spoil the movie for you, so WARNING: do no read this unless you have already seen the movie. Okay. What I liked best was the philosophy on choices. (the mindless fight scenes were really cool, too). It's like this. In the beginning of the movie, Neo is having dreams about Trinity's death. Later, The Oracle tells him that he has already decided her fate. Towards the end of the movie, Neo chooses to tell Trinity to stay out of the Matrix, since he saw her die in it. She agrees, but only after seeing how important it is to him. After a horrific chain of events (is it coincidence, or fate) the people who will deactivate the secondary power source of the building Neo is infiltrating, die. So...the plan is going to fail. Unless someone does something, Neo, Morpheus and many others will die. Trinity, who is of course outside of the Matrix, knows this and chooses to enter the Matrix to save the day. The events of Neo's dream unfold. So...when the oracle said that the choice had already been made, she was completely correct. The moment Neo woke from dreams of Trinity's death, he made a choice. He would do everything in his power to keep his dream from becoming reality. So he kept her out of the Matrix, and she saw the problem, and entered the Matrix to fix it. If she had been in the Matrix, she would have likely been with Morpheus, never would have known about the plan's failure, would therefore not have been in the situation that resulted in her death. And the plan would have failed and Neo might have died, along with a large portion of the city (the building was set to blow if there was any intruders) So...Neo's choice to attempt to save Trinity triggered the sequence of events that led to her death. As Neo realizes all of this, through a nearly omniscient Architect of the Matrix, he makes another choice. This choice is simply an extension of his original choice: he will save Trinity at all costs. Neo is told that he has two choices. He can save mankind, and doom Trinity. Or he can try to save Trinity and doom mankind. No guarantee that he'll succeed in saving Trinity. He goes for Trinity, makes it just in time to catch her body, and starts her heart back up. In return for not taking the easy route, he gains a power in the more or less real world. He can deactivate the machines, (squidies) but at great personal cost. The movie ends with him in a coma. Now, you must realize that I have described only one aspect of this movie of all movies. There are not enough words in the English language to describe the sheer coolness of the fight choreography, special effects and the plot. I highly recommend you see the movie yourself. I'm sorry that today's rant isn't random, insane or completely chaotic, but I must right my experience with The Matrix before I forget. I am so buying this movie when it comes out on DVD. I love it! You have to admit its sheer coolness. I mean, come on! It's the sequel to the movie that revolutionized the standard by which we judge special effects. I better stop typing before I have a heart attack...just remember...The Matrix has you...I'm back. And throughly pissed off at my school system in general. You see...they feel that the only way to reward academic achievement...yada-yada-yada...is to force the smart kids to be ushers for Senior Honor Nite, and Graduation. Where is the logic in this? I for one, didn't know about such dire consequences for not deliberatly failing classes. It was bad enough that I was forced to "volunteer" my precious time (i could have worked on this site)...no...I was forced to wear formal attire. My school system is stuck in the past...and formal attire means...a dress...a white dress...(for those you who never bothered to find out...I am indeed female). So...for the first time in about 5 years...I wore a dress...and something that was complelty white. What cruel fate is this? To compound the EVIL situation...I was forced to wear feminine shoes. In other words...they hurt. And they pushed my toes together. Since I have a rather weird phobia of touching my own skin...this made my evening my own personall torture session. I think that such gender-specific torture should be deemed inhumane and abolished from our great society...of flaming chickens. Henceforth...Code: 666 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that under no circumstance will the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who) be forced to wear anything other than a t-shirt and preferably black jeans. Should you violate this right, you will become destroyed or possibly dizzy. I'm leaving now...I have some destruction to do. i'm back. from graduation. we had to get there one hour and fifteen minutes early because there was traffic. After standing around a lot...the ceremony started. Lots of people spoke. by the time I had to do my part (tell people where to stand before getting their diploma) it was dark. there were bugs. they liked landing on me. then...i got to go stand while people said a lot of stuff. i couldn't hear it because someone had put the speakers facing the audience. we clapped. the whole time, even during the name-calling, seniors were playing with silly string and beachballs. afterwards...they turned off the lights. there were lots of fireworks. i wandered around for 20 minutes looking for a cell phone. i called home, and waited another hour for my ride...traffic to the school was one way. i felt sorry for my dad. i am tired...but cannot go to sleep. i'll copy and paste this to my site. maybe the longest text ever. you will all suffer as i have suffered when and if you graduate. i cannot feel my feet. i hate dress shoes. I'm back. Today, I'm here to salute the Pointless Signs Of America! The PSOA have been whole-heartedly working for you, and what have you done for them? NOTHING! These so-called "pointless" signs are doing just what they were meant to do: entertain you! You cannot judge them simply because they have no apparant function. They expand your mind, making you think about all the things they could do. They could do anything they wanted to, if they just put their minds to it. If you judged everything by what it doesn't acomplish, then the entire world is populated by pointless beings. Noone can do everything, so how can you expect a SIGN, with the I.Q. of toilet paper, to do everything. You people sicken me. You expect far to much of the inanimate world. The inanimate world, on the otherhand, expects nothing of you. Which is exactly what it gets. If you expect nothing, and get nothing, you feel nothing. If you expect nothing and get something, you're happy. But, if you expect something and get something you feel nothing. And if you expect something and get nothing, you feel cheated. If you're following along, and not completly confused, you'll realize that it is better to be a pessimist than an optomist. Yep that's right. This entry went from saluting the PSOA to making a statement about my ideals. This has been a weird day. You can thank my associate "Meg" she came up with the PSOA acronym. Everyone, clap for "Meg".I gotta go...seeya later! I'm finnaly back! Today, I took a long look at this site, which is the acomplishment of almost a year of work. And I asked myself "How could I have better spent my time?" And so, in the interest of wasting even more time, I made a list. Here we go! Number One: I could have cured cancer. Not that I know anything about medicine...or cancer for that matter. But I'm sure that if I just would have put my mind to it, I could have done it. Number Two: I could helped the earth to find eternal and lasting peace. Which would be boring. So I at least have an excuse for not doing that. Number Three: I could have studied and stuff. Uh...don't think so...Number Four: I could have learned to drive. This would have resulted in the deaths of numerous pedistrians...and I would still probably be wondering around in search of a McDonalds. Number Five: I could have read more books, played more video games and watched more mindless television. Gee...I wish I'd thought of that sooner. Number Six: I could have implemented one of several plans for world domination. Or, as an alternative, I could have ruined several plans for world domination that other people made. Number Seven: I could drive people crazy. Wait...aren't I already doing that? Scratch number seven. And on to: Number Eight: I could have...uhhhh...ummmmm...actually thought up these things before hand. Number Nine: Now it's just getting redundant, isn't it? Number Ten: This is the list that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friend. One person, started typing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue typing it forever just because this is the list that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some person started typing it not...etc, etc. Okay...I admit it. I have officialy run out of ways I could have better spent my time. I don't think there actually are any. Except for maybe five and six. Now, those have possibilities. However, I am currently content to just sit here and type. For the benefit of you, the reader...who may or may not exist. Either way, I'm continuing to sort of entertain myself. I feel like I should be outraged about some topic or another. I just can't work up the energy to be outraged. Perhaps a nice, soothing mistrust. Yeah. I can work with mistrust. I definitly mistrust lots of stuff. Like organ grinders, and the evil conspiracies. Did you know, that Kodak was part of the conspiracy to assasinate John F. Kennedy. Now, some of you are probably thinking "Gee, Really?", or "Wow, I never knew that!" while others are thinking "Who's John F. Kennedy?" or possibly "Who or What is Kodak". I fervently hope that you're not thinking the last two...especially about Kodak. Kodak, as you may know, is a film developing company. And John F. Kennedy (JFK) was an alien bent on global domination. Or possibly a really good president who wanted to fly to the moon. Either way, he got assasinated. And ever loony in America decided that it was a conspiracy. Some even go so far as to claim that Kodak "changed" the pictures of the assasination to make an assasination in the bushes become a tree's shadow. I didn't know that they had such good technology back then. I have to wonder...why would Kodak do such a thing. Perhaps Kodak is actually a front organization for a shadowy governmental system that controls the entire world and didn't want mankind to obtain the freedom of the stars and so tried to sabotauge the space program even though it didn't work as well as they planned. Or perhaps not. Either way, Kodak is undeniably evil. How can any company that takes so many "wholesome" pictures not be? You can just bet that they look at every one that get's turned in to them, judging blackmail value, and whether or not you could get arrested. It's just sickening, you can't even take a simple photo nowadays. Unless you have a digital camera, which are a symbol of freedom from the old ways and willing enslavement to the new ways. We can only hope that the digital camera manufacturers are kinder masters than the evil Kodak Lords. I better go...I think Kodak is tracing my site....I'm back now! And, once again, I have proof that someone actually took the time (two hours) to read this entire Longest Text Ever! It's amazing, it's incredible, it's unbelievable. But true. Even more incredible, this time it's someone I don't even know! Wooooooo! I feel inspired and happy and other really good emotions and stuff. And so, I'll take a trip down memory lane, to the dark depths of the past, to when I decided to make this page. It was inspired, in part, by my sheer and utter boredom. In school, back before I even owned a computer, I'd type random words for long periods of time, 'cause I had nothing better to do. Once I got this computer, I decided to do something similar on my beloved site. But, it ended up making more sense than I anticipated (scary thought, huh). Oh, well...I tired of nostalgia. Back to the present. Right now, I'm just typing so that no one can say that I've been slacking off. I don't think I have any conspiracy theories...except pop-ups/pop-unders. Have you ever had the evil pop-up that says that if you click here, it'll get rid off all the annoying pop-ups? Isn't that sort of ironic? Could the pop-up blocker people have chosen a better means to advertise their product? It's like grand-theft auto 3's talk show, you know, the one where there are Citizens Raging Against Phones? Or CRAP, for short. And the lady representing them, calls the radio station...on a phone. It's stupid and ironic and just shouldn't exist in a better world. Pop-Up ad's help you get rid of pop-up ads? Insane, chaotic...hmmmmm...I wonder who thought of it? Was it on purpose, or was it just some mistake? It is now my civic duty to discover this ancient mystery, and reveal it to the uncaring world. Or maybe I'll go make a frozen pizza. Yeah. That sounds good, too. Since I'm not particualarly inspired at the moment, I should leave and let you gather what is left of your sanity. I just can't seem to stop, though. Okay...I can do it. I'm leaving. I'm back...and it's several hours later. I've decided to imortalize the stupidity of my dog, Moose. She is a heavy-set Yorkshire Terrior (12 lbs.) In otherwords, she's a small yappy dog who is big for her breed. Today, I met her arch-enemy. An enemy so terrifying that Moose cannot stop shaking. An enemy so hideous that Moose must destroy it at all costs. An enemy so dangerous that Moose fears it above all others. Now you may be wondering what horrible beast is Moose's arch-enemy. And you probably suspect that it is something pathetic. You would be correct in your suspiciousness...for Mooses arch-enemy is...*dramatic drumroll*...a small, white, feather. Now, Moose has seen many feathers, birds even. But none have struck terror in her little moose heart like this particular feather. So...naturally I put her arch-enemy in my pocket and brought it home with me. This action has made her very suspicious of where my loyalties lie. She tracks the feather smell all over the house, and goes crazy whenever I take it out of my pocket. She even got her sister and mother in the spirt of things. Now her sister sounds an alarm whenever she sees the evil feather. Now, you may be wondering what is so terrifying about a small, white, feather. So am I. It doesn't smell funny, (I asked my brother, since I don't have a sense of smell), it seems perfectly ordinary. So, I've decided that Moose works for some secret government organization, and that the feather is the key to the destruction of the world, and I am just blithely letting it enter our home, so that it may furthur its evil plans to destroy the universe. That is the only possible explanation as to why it upsets her so much. Or...maybe it's the feather off of the cartoon owl from the tootsie-roll pop comercials (one...two...three..*crunch*). Whatever the case, I decided that the whole world, (or three of four random people) deserve to know that if the world and or universe are destroyed, it's the evil, little, white, feather's fault. Now I'd better go and torture my Moose with it...:) I am officially back. And you, the potentially non-existant reader gets a once in a lifetime chance to hear me rant and rave about my Horrible, Horrible Family Vacation. I know. You feel very, very honored. It's like this. My mother is a control freak, and she decided on the spur of the moment that we were going north to visit relatives. Later that day, she decided we were NOT going north, we were going south to a beach resort. Still later that day, she got offended at some trivial thing and decided that we weren't going anywhere at all. The very next day, she decided that we were going north, after all. So, we packed everthing up. Before we knew it, we were on the road. The first part of the trip was fairly easy. As in, I was half-asleep, hoping that we'd arrive while I slept. Then, in an inspired move, my brother talked my mother into letting him sit up front. That meant that my mother would be in the back, with me and my younger, eviler sister. Immediatly, my mother started complaining. It was uncomfortable in the back, it was too hot, it was too cold. Then, she accidently woke our three yappy dogs up, and they relized that they were in a car. That meant only one corse of action for them. They started shaking and barked their little heads off. This annoyed my mother further, untill she asked, no, demanded that my father turn the car around so that we could go home. Unfortuantly, we had already driven 337 miles toward our destination. After much argument, my father was going to turn around, untill he realized that my mother was going to drop the dogs and me off, and then turn around and continue north. This seemed slightly unpracticle, so we ended up not taking that 337 mile detour. We eventually reached our destination after 16 hours of virtually non-stop driving. We got there, we ate. We slept. My mother visited relatives. And so the week went by. I got to go to a huge library, and see Terminator 3 at the local theater. That was the high point of the entire trip. The last day, we were deciding where to eat. My mom said that she didn't care. So my dad picked a steak place. My mother tried to order a mushroom-swiss burger...only to discover that the place had no swiss-cheese. So she decided on a salad, only to discover that they didn't have her favorite salad dressing. After much deliberation, she decided that she wouldn't eat. After complaining how hungry she was, and about the poor quality of the resteraunt, she walked out of the resteraunt, instructing the rest of us to "enjoy our meals". And I wonder where my little sister gets her annoyingness. Not that my mother is annoying...just set in her ways. The whole meal thing was about the only interesting thing to happen during the week. On the way home, we had gotten approximatly 4 hours into the trip when my mother predicatably decided that we had to go back and eat at the 50th aniversary of her favorite ice cream place. Needless to say, we ignored her. Oh, and when my sister had to go to the bathroom very badly during a traffic jam, my mother had the good taste to making hissing/water noises to make my sister's problem worse. She claimed that my little sister always did it to her, and she was getting pay-back. Between her bickering with my sister, and obsessivly playing neopets games, I don't know what to do with her. Anyway...that was my family vacation rant. It sucked. No suprise. At least it's over. Sorry if I complained a lot. If you don't like it, start your own longest text ever. Anyway, I promise to go back to my usual routine the next time I rant here. I thought of a topic on the way home, but forgot it. Seeya. I'm back! I know, I took you completly by suprise. You thought you'd gotten rid of me. *cheesy super-hero voice* Well, fear not, random citizen, for I, PSOPC am here! *normal voice* Today I have a very important to discuss with you in this: PERFECTLY NORMAL PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT. Yes, that's right. It's time to warn you, the viewer...er...reader...about the evils of various stuff. Today's lesson is: subliminal messages . That's right, folks, mass hypnosis via commercials. Now, I'm sure you've at least heard of subliminal messages , right? No? Well...prepare to be enlightened. Subliminal messages are an advertising technique that puts hidden pictures and words into a main image. You don't see them, but your subconsious (dreaming) mind does. Your subconsious mind acts on whatever it is told. What does this mean to you? It means that WAL-MART TV IS EVIL! EVIIIIIIIIIIIIL!!!!!! Why else would they invest all that money to show commercials in their own store? Because they put subliminal messages in them, of course! Subliminal messanging also explains the successes of certain fast-food resteraunts, and brand name items. BEWARE YOUR TOASTER OVEN! Okay. That had nothing to do whatsoever with subliminal messages...it's just cool to say. Anyway, only watch wal-mart if you WANT to be subliminaly entertained into purchasing a new set of TUPERWARE, even though your old set is PERFECTLY fine. This has been a public service announcment. Pretty cool, huh? Uh...you don't have to take the subliminal stuff seriously. It's true, and all, but I have no proof about wal-mart, or certain fast food resteraunts. It makes sense, though. Wal-mart TV is evil. You cannot deny it. Seeya...hmmm..I wonder if there's subliminal stuff in my computer...I'm back. And I feel that it's time for a FAKE commercial break, for the highly informed, obviously brain-dead consumer. And now, a word from our non-existant sponsor. Ketchup: The only food that you'll want to eat after traveling to the 5th Dimension. It's been practically proven that Ketchup transforms into a highly intoxicating (non-addictive) delicious substance upon returning from the 5th Dimension. Stock up now with our Valu-Pak to recieve 3-metric tons of Ketchup, all for the low, low price of your brain, since you're obviously not using it anyway. Then, just wait for technology to "catch-up" (get it, catch-up, Ketchup?)so you can travel to the 5th Dimension like our scientists almost did. (Next Commercial) Get ready fo: Faux's new "reality" TV show, "How Low Can We Go?" It's about six contestants who compete to create the worst, least likely "reality" TV show. The winner not only gets the million-dollar prize, they get the chance to produce the show they created. Remember: if the show sucks, it's their fault, not ours!(Next exciting commercial!)And for all the idiots out there: Try new and improved Dum-B-Gon! Dum-B-Gon stimulates brain activity, making you up to 10 times smarter! Not only that, Dum-B-Gon: stimulates weight loss, cures "any" illness, does simple houshold chores, never leaves the toilet seat up and is the perfect gentle companion for your kids. How can you pass up this revolutionary new product? It's yours for only 3 bi-monthly payments of $3.95 ($3,95,000 on days ending in "y")Don't forget, Dum-B-Gon is practically guaranteed!* (*Not a guarantee) (Next commercial)Have you ever wondered why food sometimes goes bad in your fridge, even if you've only had it a few years? It's because of the "evil little faeries with sharp little teeth." These "faeries" sprinkle your food with highly toxic "age dust" and ruin a perfectly good four-year-old meatloaf. How do you stop them? With our patented "spray". Our "spray" kills over 99.9% of "faeries" (which are much to small to see) Our "spray" also kills most disease causing agents, like rats, or pigeons. WARNING: Leave food sit in an open, well-venilated spot for a week before eating. And now, back to our featured presentation. Wasn't that semi-entertaining? I bet you wanna go eat some Ketchup covered Dum-B Gon right now, while watching "reality" TV. Just make sure you "spray" your food first. Pathetic, wasn't it? Oh, well. I was bored, and a dilligent reader suggested I make fake commercials, so...therer they are. Happy? Good. I'm leavin', for now. I'm back. And I'm willing to enlighten you, the potentially you-know-what reader. Today, I was checking out some weird news. At one point, I read an article that stated that it had been proven, conclusivly, that Kansas was flatter than the standard pancake. The researches even used highly advanced technololgy to map the surface of a pancake and compare it to documented geology of Kansas. Some people disagree, the director of the Kansas Geological Survey said "I think this is part of a vast breakfast food conspiracy to denigrate Kansas. It's a cheap shot." So...doesn't that make you want to take Kansas' side (I sincerly appologize if you are from Kansas). It just seems extremly weird (and worthy of mentioning) that this semi-important guy from Kansas believes in a "vast breakfast food conspiracy". Makes you think that the long held belief that Kodak conspired with the JFK assasin(s) is normal. Another article claims that an anitseptic turned a polar bear purple, drawing large crowds of people. I sure hope other zoos won't copy them. Before you know it, we'll have orange alligators, pink tigers and blue lions. School children won't be able to correctly identify the color of a zebra. Random people will think they've gone crazy, after a seemingly innocent visit to the zoo. It's wrong, I tell you. A complete and total degregation of our societies values. What values, you say? The basic moral belief that Polar bears should be WHITE. Unless we spray-painted the snow purple, too. Then it would be okay. As long as the bear blends in, you know? Speaking of animals, there's a cat in California who is a kleptomaniac (likes to steal stuff). He sneaks into neighboring homes, and takes clothing, wrapped christmas presents, and anything he can find. He then leaves them under his owners car. Okay, better leave. I'm back. And I don't really have a topic today. I'm just bored. Sometimes I just do this, you know? Start typing without any idea about what it is I intend to say. Maybe I subconsiously DO know what I'm doing here, but refuse to admit it to myself. Or maybe I am monumentally bored and don't have anything else to do at the moment. Either way, I'm here. You must be pretty bored, too. Otherwise, why on earth (beta, krpto, zkdjf, Planet X, whatever) would you be here? It would make no sense. If you have something better to do, why wouldn't you be doing it right now? I would be. But, maybe that's just the difference between you and me. Yeah. That must be it. Unless you're bored. Then I completly understand. I need to find a topic. Here, topic, topic, topic! Come on, I won't hurt you, I promise! *hides large ax behind back* Come here, topic! Why are you afraid of little ol' me? *sigh* There are no topics anywhere near me. Kinda like me and "Meg" webcomic we are trying to do. It's called Hit-Or-Miss, any topics, plot, etc. are completly accidental and are not the fault/responsibility of the creators. That was sort of a topic, even though it was sort of random. Which is what I do best. Okay, I'm done with that litte commercial. What now...hmmmmm...should I share with you more of my paranoid/delusional conspiracy theories? Or have I been doing that too much lately? Oooooo! I know, I'll start of list of why it's fun/good to be insane/weird! #1You can say or do anything and normal people will agree with you in the hopes that you'll be satisfied, shut up, and go away. Far away. I will show you an example with this completly true stuff that I experienced several years ago. ME: My vicious, psychotic, flesh-eating bunny-rabbit wants to rule the world. RANDOM PERSON: Uh-huh, that's nice. ME: Yeah, but I told her that she'd be a terible ruler. I mean, she traded Asia for a carrot! And she doesn't even LIKE carrots! RANDOM PERSON: You don't say? ME: Yep. She also is the goddess of red jello. RANDOM PERSON: *head explouding from sheer insanity* As you can see, I was a very weird child (this happened in elementary school...uh...except for that head-explouding part). Okay...on to: #2 You can get out of practically anything by saying: a)It's against my religion b)I'm allergic to that. c)I have an extremly irrational fear of that. d)I already did that in a past life and it sucked. e)My psychotic bunny predicted I'd die doing it. Unfortunalty, several of those reasons LEGITAMITLY apply to a certain activity I do every Tuesday, which WILL NOT BE NAMED HERE LEST I GIVE IT POWER OVER ME! I'm allergic to parts of it, have irrational fears about others and I'm pretty sure it's against my Jenny religion...along with eating mashed potatoes, or potatoes of any kind. I'll add that to the FLAMING CHICKENS HANDBOOK. Thou shalt not eat spuds. Hmmmm...time for #3You can obsessive over ANYTHING, and people will think nothing of it. I, personally, am obsessed with, kitties, bunnies, bats, this website, drawing, making intriate little patterns with strings, doing mildly repetitive activities, being weird, apparantly making lists and cheese...and chickens...and flame. Fire is good. Fire is free. Fire is my friend...until it burns me. Then it must die...painfully. And on to:#4You make your friends look normal in comparison. And #5: You can give each of your pets several weird names such as: Ringling-Raison-Bailey-Suzana-Midnight-Schultz, Squirell, Moose, Moose-Moose, Moosey-Moose, Linzey-Moose, Muffin, Squirell-Muffin, Yabby-Doodle, Abby Normal, Wiggle-Baby, Wiggle-Muffin, Witle-Baby, Cheese-Monkey, Muffin-With-Squirell-Juice, Squirell-With-Muffin Juice, Moosey-Juice, Squirell-Monkey, etc. Now, wasn't that a fun list!? Doesn't that just make you proud to be weird? I should make bumber stickers saying that. Proud to be weird. It'd be cool. Anyway, gotta go! *yawn* I'm back. Last night I was super-charged with lots of sugar and not a lot of sleep. I ended up writing things during the time of night when EVERYTHING is hilarious, including the word sheep. To compound things, I wasn't alone, and things just escalated. The following is everything I wrote during that sugar-coated time period. Some are answers to e-mails, the rest are just stuff I wrote.

Definitly. THen we go to library. Guess what? Me and Josh ate lots and lots of sugar, and it's late at nite and everything is funny but we can't laugh 'cause everybody is sleepin' so it's even funnier but ever since we drank the water we sobered up even though we weren't drunk but we ate sugar...lots and lots of sugar. MOstly donut cake. Okay. JOsh says it was only one piece of cake. WE got it at Wal-mart. Or his mom did. OR something. Goodbye..

#long post

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heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon · 5 years

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Name: Moon or Rose, sometimes Luna to people who have known me for a long time

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Height: I honestly can’t remember what they said last time they measured me an it wasn’t even “accurate” because slouching and hunching and scoliosis but my mother did it again when I was in bed and she had a tape measure and I’m 4′8 I think? :D

Languages: English

Nationality: Irish (American...Long Island)

Favorite Fruit: Rasberries, Strawberries, Pomegranate, Tomatos, Cherries

Favorite Sent: Roses, Fresh dirt, Gardens, plants and Flowers, any type of wood, rain, popcorn, Curry, (never actually tried but WANT TO) any type of hot beverage, any type of bake goods out the oven ..

Favorite colors: Black, purples and blues, ESPECIALLY the dark ones, any type greens ......... Also reds and pinks .......

Favorite Animal: Rat’s and rodents, always, ever since I was little ... Bats, Owls, bigger felines and canines (Lions, Tigers, Wolf’s, Etc.) Smaller Cats and Dogs, (Striped cats, fluffy cats, black cats, pit-bulls and SPINX’S are my favorites cause those are the ones that I have expect for the last one) Frogs and toads too,... opossums, chinchillas, squirrels, eye-eyes, pigs, rabbits, ravens, crows, in a certain way spiders, bees, moths, butterflies, fox’s, minks, lemurs.... skunks. flamingo’s, swans....lady bugs, crickets fireflies , goats....turtles, Gryphons ....(Far underrated and superior to dragons, this a fact not an opinion.)

And I’m about to admit this VERY, EXTREMELY begrudgingly and through my longest sigh ever but ... Deer? I just freaking. Wrote out an whole entire separate thing concerning my.... complicated perspective on deer and I had to copy and paste it into an entirely different document because I talked for way to long, but it’s gotten to the point where I have this desperate need to just ... vent of what this animal has become for me and what they mean to me, because this has currently became something that has made my heartache the more and more I’ve tried to pretend it does not effect me and I will say that it’s been a long time coming and as of recently I can no longer afford to avoid how much...So um. I’ve decided that this may be the year... That ...I am finally going to talk about this. Of course not like, right /now/ this minute ... But I will say in short that like, I live by a lot of deer and they’ve always been a part of my life for better or worse, and I could never really escape them or the part they’ve played in my life, hurting or healing, even if I wanted to. So, I say that, if I ever got the opportunity to observe one up close in my chair or feed a doe from my hand or hold a baby fawn or do anything like that with supervision in a moment, I totally would, in a heartbeat, without question. Even though from far away it hurts to think about the relationship I’ve had with them through who I was connected to. I refuse disrespect this animal just because someone who I loved who loved them hurt me once. Does that make sense? Sometimes.... Certain things that hurt you can also heal you. I’ve realized recently that I’m still not over how much I’ve been hurting. But that doesn’t mean that deer haven’t also, in their own way, been helping me heal. And I’m just thankful they exist for that because I’ve also learned through many narratives throughout the years, at in watching animation, how deer can have so many different sides to them and they don’t always have to be so interpreted as so “good” and “pure” and righteous and ...., ugh. As everyone projects to be, and I’ve always like to think that’s that’s helped keep a nuanced perspective of what’s happened to me throughout the years even as certain events were taking place and for that... I’ll always love and respect deer as an animal themself.

As a character, trope though, I’ve always observed that they’ve always been these fucking, self important, entitled a-holes who always assume that they’re charming enough to deserve your time, and think they can just come and go in and out of your life as they please and are far too proud of themselves to admit when they are wrong and will never apologize to you ever until they are pushed and until then, they just keep popping in and out of your life to vex and annoy you and ......

Mm.

Tastes like perspective.

Anyway, I’m writing something for later.

Maybe.

This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot.

First time sharing any inkling of my emotions about deer.

I’m honestly so afraid about what this and the other post will entail for later, my other deer tail, if you will.

I’ll stop talking about deer before this gets weird.

You have no ideer......

Last pun until next post, promise.

Coffee, Tea or Hot Chocolate: My silly abled assistant worker got me addicted to coffee again before she had me institutionalized and soaking in my own piss for four days because she didn’t understand how hospitals worked, and then they cut her hours when she was about to abandon me in what was basically a nursing home for and after a month I started trying to explain to her and my caseworker that I wasn’t feeling very well and they basically laughed at me and told me I was dirty and so yeah I spent my 25th birthday in a nursing home with an infection that I didn’t know I had and then one of the staff yelled at me for allowing this nice hyper boy who lived there to help push my crappy black manual wheelchair (you know the one) and practically tossed me out of my wheelchair to get me to what she wanted and then accused me of soiling myself when she was removing my clothes for the shower when I was on the toilet and then started screaming at me again and accusing me of lying when I asked her why she thought I had an accident and then she slammed the door and abandoned me in the bathroom when I wouldn’t give her the answer that she wanted and then I had a breakdown ... So I decided to use my mom’s birthday as an excuse to come home and check what was going with me and get some real food and I told my assistant and my caseworker and they basically laughed at me and said was a bad idea and told me I was dirty again and then I was punished and taken home for being “rude” and “too emotional” but not before the assistant worker brought me some crappy bitter ass coffee flavored fudge when the rocky road was right next to it because she was some vegan ass “straight ally” one year younger then me with a 29 year old boyfriend millennial who “missed my birthday” and complained about how miserable I was and how wasn’t enjoying the pumpkin farm which she originally wasn’t even gonna take me through, because my caseworker insisted that she cancel plans and bring me back to the nursing home as punishment for calling my mother. So when she DID bring me back after arguing with me for being ungrateful enough to not enjoy a place that she didn’t even wanna take me, she left me parked on the living room carpet, instead of bringing back into the dining room where my laptop was set up, like she’d normally do, said “good luck with your mom”, and left. Then, it took me about an hour to wheel myself off of the carpet, find someone to help me to the bathroom, and get me the phone to call my mom back and tell her it was okay to pick me up.

I come home, discover I have a lump in my left breast which is benign but still hasn’t gone away, go to the doctor, and it turns out I had two infections.

My mom seemed prepared to let me go back to the group home if I wanted to but after I told the doctor what happened with the staff worker the day after my birthday and the night before I called. The doctor told me that I wasn’t safe at the group home ether and ordered that I go back home with my mom and stay there.

So I’m back home now.

Two months.

And of course my caseworker shit on me for THAT.

And of course she informed me that my assistant worker quit on me.

And I still haven’t spoken to my father since I’ve been back here.

And I still have the scar he gave me.

And I’m still trying to ween myself off of coffee.

But before all of this my go to warm drinks were usual tea or hot chocolate. Sometimes hot chocolate with liquor.

My tongue went numb for a time because that was the first thing that I did non- stop each day for like four days after the day I finally finished my meds and my period hit immediately (which is already a whole other nightmare that I was dreading having to go through in a nursing home when everything already felt fucking inflamed and swollen and infected with already visible particles of dried up soap.... because.... it was ......)

But like, yeah...... Tea and Hot Chocolate!

Dream Trip: To have the opportunity to visit and interact with/get to know some queer cripple friends in person, and to visit my good friend @colorcinabrio in Mexico to travel round the world with them if ever given the chance! ❤

When Blog was created:

Somewhere around two years ago... I wanted to make blog that reflected my disability and really let me identify as a cripple and focused more focused more on cripple things and maybe make some cripple friends! ^ ^’ ❤

Last Movie Seen: That comes to mind that I actually enjoyed? The Favorite.

Favorite Holiday: I really love people’s birthday’s also and I always try and do something for my friends birthdays if I can! ^ ^ ❤

Songs on repeat: As of recently, ‘Fake Happy’, by Paramore.

Tagged by @qjusttheletter

Tagging: @colorcinabrio @thetrainticket @finallyhaunted @thequantumqueer @rosered3 @isnezzed @purplepeoplelickingtruthpeddler @transplorer

Thank you so much for tagging me, Q! ^ ^’ ❤ I know it took a while to answer but as I said before I really did go on a deer tangent for a minute! ^ ^’ ❤ But being tagged by you brightened my day and I know we don’t talk much directly but I really do think of you as a friend!!!! :D ❤ O.X

#qjusttheletter #replies #tumblrs also really been upsetting me lately so that's I've kinda been offline too but seriously thank you for the tag it means so much I'm #just sorry I took so long writing!!!!! ^ ^; <3 O.X

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saintcanardmoved · 5 years

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Oh god. I didn’t know this blog would suddenly receive so much attention. Please, I am begging you to not scroll down. It’s endless MysticMessenger posts from two years ago.

#long post

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