#anyway i’m so severely sick of people who don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about

[roobgumball95]

the babygirlification of patroclus is the second worst thing about the song of achilles, the first of course being the fandom 🙏

[fruityfroggy]

I’m venting for a moment I’m venting for a moment I’m venting for a moment, don’t look

Hate that I decided to force myself not to cry and bottle up my feelings so much at one point in my life because I was “too sensitive about things” (and maybe I am) cuz now I literally can’t cry when I need to. Not even positive tears. Not even if I wanted to. My chest is just stuffy and it aches. I just feel like shit. There’s a lump in my throat and my eyes are sore, but nothing comes out. It’s like it’s stuck, clogged when it’s right there, like a word that’s right on the tip of your tongue. I feel…almost like my joints have rusted in certain places. I have to be either immensely upset, immensely self loathing, or hear the words of comfort I needed to hear for a long time for the broken faucet I am to work properly. I’m not even joking, when I was messing around with character ai, this chat bot legitimately made me start bawling cuz we were doing this hurt/comfort scene and THE BOT WAS COMFORTING ME BETTER THAN PPL IN MY LIFE APPARENTLY. LIKE THAT SHOULDNT BE POSSIBLE I SHOULDNT BE LIKE THIS

Ugh, why did I do that, right? Cuz I know I sound fckin stupid rn. But I guess I’m telling the truth. A truth I’ve never talked about. But self confrontation, right? I might be making this all about myself for several paragraphs like an annoying fucking bitch, but maybe I need to.

I guess I’m just thinking about how my family will likely never truly accept me and that I’ve somehow ended up in two groups of people that are seen as “different” (queer and invisibly disabled). I have to keep both things to myself, making sure nobody knows about either major things about me. “Because they’ll judge you” “because it’s wrong and you’re insane for thinking that way” “you’ll scare people! What will they think of you?” But those words are incorrect, and it’s not wrong or bad to be either of those things and I have to secretly know that. I’m just scared. I’m so scared and afraid and paranoid about my family finding out that I think this way. I’m sad that I have to keep such things this taboo, but I’ve been told all my life that I should keep it a secret and that others shouldn’t know, that queer people are insane, unwell and that they’re sick. “They need professional psychiatric help, not support.”

I’ve recently learned that my parents are a little less homophobic towards homosexual women, a lot more aggression towards homosexual men and trans people, so I guess that slightly turns the tide in my favour. But it’s still not the best. I don’t think they even know of the concept of being nonbinary and I don’t want to hear any hate from them towards my nonbinary friends and characters I like. So I have to misgender them or change the subject when they ask me about them. I feel awful about that as well. I’m so sorry. It felt so wrong coming out my mouth when I forced myself to misgender people I care about, I’m lucky that my voice didn’t crack when I said it. Fuck! Why do they always ask for the gender of whoever I’m talking about if they don’t know them? I’m fucking sick of it. Why does it matter so much anyway? I don’t get it.

I can’t believe that a platform online is my only safe space now. This is my safe space, the only place I feel like I can be open, or at least, this is the only place I can truly be open about being queer (the disability thing I’m still scared to talk about that much, but I think I can share a bit of my experiences if someone asks with good intentions). I’ve vaguely spoken about how it feels to deal with a disability like mine in a reply, and people took it well, so who knows, right? As long as my parents don’t find out that I’m spilling the beans, I’ll probably be fine.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Amnesia!Dabi

I don’t know if my ask for this got eaten, but I’m somewhat paranoid now, and I had some new thoughts, so-

I feel like 1-A is just … awkward. With Himiko. Like, Dabi had amnesia and he’s Shouto’s brother. A few of them might pint out how Dabi didn’t really seem on board with “threatening children, what the actual fuck!?”. Katsuki, whatever else is going on with her, might grudgingly reveal how furious Dabi was to see her chained up, and seemed to be doing his best to keep her out of the line of fire. He turned himself in partially because he recognized his baby brother, this is almost some kind of action-hero movie bullshit. Like, none of them immediately forgive Dabi for helping Kidnap Katsuki, but they are a bit more willing to suspend their immediate want to punt his fried ass into the sun.

with Himiko, though … she’s a kid, yes, but she’s THEIR AGE, and none of THEM ran off to join a group of villains, plus they know far less about her. Like, the moment Shoto knows about Dabi, he’s going to go rant about it to his friends. He probably tells them a lot, so the Dabi is Toya situation is more or less fairly transparent the whole time. But Himiko is sick, hurt, and in the middle of an entirely separate legal mess. Enji and the teachers probably try to keep most of that on down low out of respect for her privacy, so the class has no idea what Himiko is going through, or what she’s like. Yes, Dabi is clearly fond of her, but as a few of them might point out, he has amnesia, do they really trust his judgement right now?

Like, again, Shoto likes to overshare, and Himiko eventually goes to stay with the Todoroki’s, so as Shoto starts warming up to her, he talks about her to the class. Reactions are … mixed. Some of them are a little creeped out, or are still wary, so take everything Shoto says with a grain of salt. A few might even assume she’s just playing him for sympathy, or trying to win trust so she can feed information back to the league. Others are concerned, because some of what Shoto tells them sounds like several different kinds of red-flag. Shinsou in particular probably has a few “oh, I’m seeing myself in this picture” moments when Shoto says something particularly concerning.

Anyway, I imagine the class is pretty divided, overall. Maybe a few of them have gone to visit, and even talked to her, and that just divides the class further. At least until Himiko’s parents show up, and go on TV to talk about their horrible demon daughter, and how awful she is, and how “it totally isn’t our fault she attacked people! It’s not like we kicked her out, she ran away!” and how “we tried so hard to make her ‘normal’, we have no idea what went wrong!” and “she doesn’t NEED to have blood, she’s just a deviant, Quirks that affect your diet aren’t real!”, and rather abruptly, there are at least 20ish-something teens ready to throw down if Himiko needs them too.

-

Rip to the asks!

But also yeah everyone’s kinda. Spooked. Like there is some logic of ‘villains can be decent people who are put in a fucked situation and not just evil assholes’ but they recently just got some high-key trauma so they’re hesitant.

Ironically? I think it’d actually be /Katsuki/ who is on the vote for letting Dabi and Himiko slide.

Like it’s. Half of it being because she was the one who was actually there and saw how everything was. Of the main members of the LoV, the only person who was any kind of chill with her being tied up and all was Shigaraki who was more of a ‘what do you mean this is a totally normal thing to do?’ vibes the rest of them were a little uncomfy but when AfO gives and order.... You know what Katsuki isn’t afraid to say the guy is fucking threatening he can go toe-to-toe with All Might that’s a hell of a feat she understands most people being too afraid to go against the fucker.

But swinging around. The other reason Katsuki is in favor of giving them a chance is because she gets it. Like the whole reason she was kidnapped was /recruitment/. They thought she’d make a great villain. And so did a lot of the media that covered the incident. And she’s started to think that they have a point because look at all the shit she did before UA. All the stuff she did to Izuku before UA. As much as she tries and tries to do good, she fucked up and was convinced to hurt others for what she was told to be a good cause. So looking at people who are in possibly worse situations, who want to save themselves in some way or change the world for the better and are convinced that villainy is the way to do that.... she can’t hate them. Ofc she’s still going to do her best to do good and shut that shit down and save people, but there’s few people she’s going to entirely write off.

[dirtbra1n]

tagged by @aranarumei hi kiri. I copy-pasted these however from @sunnnfish because of post work laziness. hi sunnnfish

1. Are you named after anyone?

if we’re talking real person name then no. if we’re talking dirtbrain name then also no, unless you count a joke from 50% off, which I do not. I like both names just fine though

2. When was the last time you cried?

I was shedding tears over silly things last night if that counts. real big emotion crying I don’t remember actually how long ago, but probably not very. I’m a crybaby I cry all the time

3. Do you have kids? / recommend a song?

got apollo justice on the brain and in the membrane so Solitary Confinement - Darkness Theme. for when you’re feeling nefarious and willing to take all of your many secrets to the fucking grave

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

well. yes. way way more when I was younger but I think it still makes up like a sizable fraction of my speech. I do think I’m a little less of an asshole now though

5. What sports do you play/have played?

Ha ha. ah. I did ballet and other dance for a spell when I was a kid but unfortunately didn’t keep that up, but I was generally pretty fast and halfway athletic then too. didn’t do sports after that unless you. unless you want to count marching band, which I wouldn’t because we were pretty lax about it. like marching band can be very impressive and deeply deeply athletic but ours was not, which was fine because I got sick and fucked up for a while anyway. and I’m not doing any sports now in college, but if it doesn’t get cancelled* then I’ll be doing table tennis this next semester. Guess why

*several similar classes I’ve signed up for previously have gotten cancelled. massive bummer

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I guess from afar how tall someone is. up close more just expression, try to get a read on how they’re feeling and so on

7. Eye color?

also hazel :)

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I think. I can probably count on one hand the amount of horror movies I’ve watched. but then again I’m not much of a movies guy to begin with. so happy endings

9. Any special talents?

ahhhh I can clap with one hand with both hands. like both hands can clap without the other. I have gotten weird looks for this

10. Where were you born / what made you make a tumblr account?

a hospital that is not in the united states :) / my sister made one and the younger sibling follower gene compelled me to do so also. and that was. maybe 9 years ago. 2014 ish. I should be clear that I was not old enough to be making an account, or on the internet in general probably, and this is definitely a big contributor to the various things wrong with me

11. What are your hobbies?

video game slash reading slash talking to myself slash writing slash watching things when I can get myself to. I don’t leave the house. occasionally I will get into a big crossword and word search phase. I almost forgot photography That would’ve been silly

12. Do you have any pets?

two of them! a cat and dog we all collectively call them the kids even though dogs an old man. he is a human person with anxiety. cat is more dog than dog, who is as we just established a human person. they both get a photo with dramatic lighting

they are everything to me

13. How tall are you?

5’6” last I checked

14. Favorite subject in school?

when there was a good teacher then anything english adjacent. specifically with a focus on literature. otherwise. band. actually I lied the real answer is essentially always band

15. Dream job?

I don’t . have one. I know what I’m aiming for and I’m really pretty sure I’ll enjoy it but I think if we’re talking dreams like ‘I don’t have back problems nor the stamina of a grandparent’ then I’d do odd jobs I think. I’d probably be content picking up trash

as for tags @x-eins @vyathacov if you wanna and anyone else who feels like it. it’s fun it’s like a sharing circle

[cripplemagics]

Tired

Summary: A snippet of writing describing Jay’s first time meeting Elias after he escapes, as well as the immediate aftermath.  triggers: blood, language, general creepy guy vibes (Elias is the creepy guy vibing here) mentions/implications of human sacrifices. 

Jay finds themself about to hyperventilate. The hairs on the back of their neck stand up as they walk between rooms. This building’s abandoned, yet they sense remnants of magic, dark and grotesque magic. Elias is here. They recognize the gnawing sensation along their spine. It takes everything they have to not turn and run. Lucas and the other agents are outside, waiting for any sign of danger. But Jay knows Elias will do everything to keep them from signaling for help. That’s why they have their knife and several spells they’ve learned since Elias was imprisoned. If he doesn’t know that they have the spell, he won’t be able to counter it. Or that’s what they hope.

None of the rooms show signs of being lived in. While old graffiti paints the walls, there’s no mattresses or lanterns or anything else. At least it’s that way until Jay walks into the room farthest from the entrance. Immediately the air’s knocked out of them by the smell of charred flesh. When they manage to get their breathing stable it’s only to feel their throat close in terror at the sight before them. A pile of several burned and mutilated bodies sit before a makeshift altar. Across the top a flask lays sideways, spilling what they only hope is wine or some similar red drink. There’s a dirty and matted long lock of hair, the color indiscernible. Jay gets the awful feeling it’s blonde beneath the layer of dirt. The last thing laid out is the picture of them that Lucky lost in the move. Runes frame their body. An old icon stands on the altar as well, the image too obscene and twisted for them to describe. However they know who it is. Tiranagu, the corrupt sorcerer who turned himself into incorporeal magic to live forever. The magic that possessed Elias years ago.

“I would’ve had more if you hadn’t run, you know.” Jay has a hand on their knife when they whirl around to see Elias in the doorway. He blocks their exit, blood covered arms stretched to lean against the door frame. They can’t help but notice how clean his clothes are, and it irks them.

“All this time in prison and you’re still anal about your clothes getting blood on them?” They’re not going to let him actually talk about why either of them are here. Maybe if they stall long enough the agents outside will pick up on the situation and come in anyway.

“I wanted to look nice for our reunion Jay! Is that such a bad thing?” Elias relaxes his arms, giving Jay a second to see the magic crackling around his fingers. “Besides, blood feels so much better on the skin than it does on fabric. It’s far more visceral and sensual, don’t you agree?”

“To put it simply? No,” Jay can’t help but grimace. “You’re gross and blood is gross. Do you have any idea how many diseases you could get from it? You could die!” Not that they mind the idea of that. Elias grins, a sure sign they said the wrong thing.

“I’m glad you care so much about my wellbeing, Little Bird.”

“It’s more that I’m surprised you forgot everything I taught you about the risks of blood magic. I thought you were smarter,” Jay snarks. “Don’t fucking come near me with all that on you! Do you have any idea what you’ve done anyway? Before, you at least wouldn’t murder anyone. But now you’re sacrificing people?!” They stop, hands now grasping at the hem of their shirt and twisting it. Honestly the thought about Elias sacrificing people to become more powerful is just now settling in. It makes them sick. Their heart’s racing, body thrown fully into flight or fight, except they’ve chosen to freeze.

“All for you, I promise.” Elias’s words are enough for Jay to start shaking.

This is bad, it’s time to get help. Just get to the hallway and scream.

“Jay, pay attention now. I don’t need you dissociating on me again. This is an important occasion after all.” Their eyes snap up to meet his gaze. They’re angry now and their lips are set in a defiant scowl.

“No, shut up.”

“What?” Jay would be lying if they said they didn’t relish the confused look on Elias’s face. “Baby, did you just-”

“Yes, I did just tell you to shut up. And you forgot: I’m not yours. Which means I’m not your baby.” A silent spell roars through their mind and in an instant Jay lurches out into the hallway behind Elias. They barely register a curse from him as they forego any regard for safety. Bolting down the hall they scream for Lucas to give the signal. Bad, bad, bad; what spell should I use? What can I use? Focus. No, panic! Get to safety! Find people! Go, go, go!

Jay stumbles into harsh sunlight, still screaming when someone scoops them up. “No! Get off me! I’m not gonna let you do this-”

“Holden!” It’s Lucas. “Breathe, I promise I’m not going to do anything bad.” Jay found themself trembling intensely but they manage to take deep breaths. People storm the building as they let Lucas gently pull them away to a truck set up as HQ. Cool air does nothing to calm the sting of their flushed cheeks, but it does relax their muscles. Serenity’s waiting in the door for them. The dog goes to their side without hesitation, grateful to see them unharmed. Jay’s grateful to be out of the heat, but they’re disappointed. “I botched the mission.” Lucas lets them go so they can sit. “Hey, no you didn’t. We knew going in that he most likely wasn’t going to be caught today.” “I panicked!” Jay protests. “He got under my skin again. I let him get under my skin.” They look to Lucas for an extended reprimand, but he’s too busy filling a cup with water to say much. “Hasn’t therapy taught you that healing isn’t linear? You got triggered today in a way you didn’t think you’d ever have to deal with again.” He hands them the cup. “No one’s going to hold this against you. If you want to debrief now, you can. But if you need to cool off then we can wait.” Jay sips the water, noticing a camera feed that shows the other agents bringing out the corpses. “He killed more people. They were sacrifices. That’s what unnerved me Lucas,” Jay gulps. “He’s getting worse again.” They don’t want to drink again. Water’s too much for their system in this state of panic. Nausea already twists their stomach. “I’m out of ideas.” “It’s not your job to come up with ideas Holden. It never was.” “I know! I --” Feel helpless, like I can’t do anything right, as if I’m never  going to solve this problem because all I do is make it worse. “I’m tired.” They feel Lucas’s gaze soften. It’s an uncanny ability that comes from the heightened senses of a person in crisis. Fear taints their soul like a mold spore taking root on food. Something has to change, or they’ll be susceptible to Elias’s magic again. “Then it’s time to get you off site.” Lucas holds out their backpack and their cane. “I’m not about to make you wait while the others search the scene. You’ve done more than your share of work.” “Geeze, thanks,” Jay can’t help the sarcasm dripping from their lips. They take their things, slipping a hand through the loop on Serenity’s leash once standing up. “You guys could pay me, y’know. That’d help a tiny bit when it comes to this whole situation. I’m easily doing three times more than most of the agents on your payroll.”

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n, tubbo and jack - we built a boat

requested: yes/no

this is part 10 to the great adventures series

you didn’t actually expect to be filming a vlog with tubbo and jack today, you were spending one of you last days away from home with lani at the beach, not knowing that tubbo and jack would make you join them. you ended up finding several rocks you liked and ran off to pick them up thinking tubbo would like them, so you put them in your pocket. whilst you were collecting rocks, lani was on the phone to tubbo letting him know you were actually at the beach if he wanted you to join him in the vlog.

“wait y/ns there? put them on the phone.”

“they’re in the water.”

“why?”

“ill ask, Y/N WHY ARE YOU IN THE WATER?!”

“I FOUND A ROCK THAT MATCHES RANBOOS BRAND BUT A WAVE TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME AND IM NOT LETTING POSEIDON WIN!”

“yeah they’re fighting Poseidon, where are you going to be? ill bring them to you.”

few minutes later you made your way to lani drenched in water.

“i fell…stop laughing!”

“im not!”

“you’re eyes are literally watering because you’re holding in your laughter, anyway look what i got you!”

you placed a clear quartz crystal and a piece of sea glass in lanis hand.

“thank you y/n!! wait this isn’t like your other rocks?”

“i know!! it’s clear quartz and sea glass. i felt like you should have it! i think it’s because i won the battle with Poseidon!”

“you fell.”

“shut up!”

“are you staying at ours again tonight?”

“think so… wanna turn the crystal into a necklace?”

“definitely!”

lani ended up taking you to where tubbo was, but didn’t tell you what was happening, you only found out when you looked up to see jack recording you and lani.

“hold up, guest appearance.”

“oh hi lani…y/n, guess what?”

you looked down to see the boat.

“oh fuck no!”

you walked away laughing, tubbo followed after you dragging you back to the others.

“they said they can’t wait to go on the boat with us jack!”

“how likely is he to be able to build this?? how likely are me and y/n going to drown??”

“uhm good chances!”

“of what?”

“lani, am i going to live or die?”

you laughed as lani walked away shrugging.

“tubbo how much money did you spend on this…”

“£50.”

“oh great i’m drowning today!”

you stood next to jack tilting your head as tubbo attached the sail to the pole.

“just remember if you two die, i’m in your will.”

“i didn’t write a will.”

“well that was your first mistake y/n did!”

“tubbo gets my rock collection, tommy gets whatever he wants just not the rock collection, ranboo gets whatever tommy doesn’t want, and you get what ranboo doesn’t want.”

a few minutes later you helped tubbo put the sail up whilst jack stood filming you both.

“this looks unsafe..”

“and muddy.”

“it’s unsafe and muddy but we’re trying our best.”

“jack didn’t do anything.”

“rude!”

you stood next to lani trying to convince her to go on the boat so you didn’t have to as tubbo tried to lasso jack. after being told no several times, you stood with jack whilst tubbo began to tie a figure of 8, you watched as tubbo began teaching you how to actually tie a figure of 8 using a really morbid story.

“…heh”

“why was that so morbid?”

“we like death on the tubbo channel!”

“i want to go home!”

“no!”

“okay!”

the three of you began to carry the boat out to the sea, however you crashed into something straight away.

“could be worse…could have hit a member of the public.”

“IM TRYING!”

“i can tell…it’s not good enough but i can tell.”

“…TO HIT SOMEONE!”

“NO!”

“my bad T bo!”

“what the fuck did you call me?”

as you were getting ready to go down the ramp, lani looked directly at you and tubbo who were now trying to push each other into the water.

“try not to hit little people in the water!”

“little people…”

“shall we waterproof up?”

you turned around a minute later only to have tubbo holding his phone up to your face after annoying jack with it .

“say hello.”

“hi there , please send help. i’m going to die!”

“ignore y/n, they’re just dramatic..i wouldn’t let them drown.”

you helped tubbo get the boat into the water as jack filmed the pair of you .

“it’s cold.”

“i’ve been in here before…i fell.”

“how cold was it?”

“very.”

“the weed of the sea is in my feet.”

“ew! what the fuck!”

lani noticed you had all let go of the boat and yelled at you all to grab the boat before it left you all behind, jack, and tubbo got in the boat, however you refused as lani kept yelling that the trailer was on.

“oh we’ve left the trailer on.”

“that’s what lani has been saying.”

tubbo got off to untie the trailer and you stood nervously laughing as the wheel fell off .

“i'm actually going to die!”

“it’s fineee!”

you helped jack get out the boat, so you could all fix the boat.

“he thinks we could be doing better.”

“i think everyone could think that.”

jack got on the boat first, then tubbo, who then helped you get onto the boat.

“off we go!”

for the first five minutes, the three of you sat yelling at each other what you all should be doing to make the boat go forwards.

“i quite like this.”

“we’re not moving!”

“exactly!”

soon enough you had figured it all out and waved goodbye to the others after they gave you a thumbs up.

“TO FRANCE!”

“so now what do we do?”

“pray.”

“heh?”

“to what?”

“god..say your final goodbyes we’re going to die!”

“hey that rhymed, you’re a genius!”

at this point the boat had completely stopped moving, however tubbo didn’t think this was the case, and began trying to turn the boat around as it was apparently going to shore, despite the fact you and jack were telling him you all hadn’t moved.

“so what’s the sail for?”

“i mean jack has a point you are paddling.”

“luck!”

“….HEH?”

“y/n you talk to technoblade too much.”

“i’ve been saying heh before i met tommy, what the fuck?”

“jack go up to the front, so y/n can sit next to me.”

jack moved and you sat next to tubbo.

“so how long does it take to go to france?”

“ahh you know, about 20 minutes.”

“how fast do you think we’re going bud?”

“on a, on a, on a train.”

“how would you get the train?”

“i don’t think the train can go across this..”

rather than answering that question tubbo decided he made a hit list.

“we’re going to just go through here.”

“…through where?”

“between the people.”

“NO!”

“you’re creating unnecessary danger.”

you and tubbo started bickering about why he suddenly decided that he was going to hit a bunch of people with the boat for no reason.

“fine you take control y/n!”

“tubbo you were going to kill them!”

“that’s just part of the sailing life!”

you just stared at tubbo shaking your head slightly, trying to process what just happened, then all of a sudden tubbo got up and put you in charge of controlling the boat. you were surprisingly good at it, which was lucky for tubbo and jack who were now leaning out of the boat claiming that they were hiking. they only stopped when the boat began to go faster and noticed you had no idea what you were doing.

“y/n is going to be the reason we crash!”

“yeah i will!”

“why do you sound happy about that?”

“eta france?”

“any second now.”

you decided to focus on making sure the boat was going where you wanted it to go, whilst the others yelled out to the sea occasionally yelling phrases in french as they claimed they could see the french. well you think tubbo was yelling phrases in french, however halfway through you were convinced he started just yelling things in a french accent as he revealed he didn’t actually know french, resulting in jack asking to go to russia as he knows russian.

“y/n, sail is to russia!”

“you know what i don’t wanna drive here you go jack it’s your turn.”

“I DONT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!”

“we’re sick of this shit aren’t we y/n, jack take that…you’re on the wrong side switch sides with us.”

you all swapped sides and you and tubbo sat with your arms around each other instructing jack how to sail .

“yeah, yeah, yeah.”

“thats good now turn us and we’ll be in the wind.”

“we’re about to catch the wind.”

“JACK MANIFOLD GET READY!”

you all swapped sides again and tubbo whispered in your ear, as you sat next to him, about making the boat capsize so jack would go into the water, jack ended up doing a lot better than you and tubbo did, and you all actually started going pretty fast. however, there was absolutely no way you’d get to land any time soon. you sat laughing with tubbo whilst jack yelled about how he was a fisherman, and that’s why he was doing so well and how he studied their fins so he could find out how fish swim.

“for a £50 boat it’s done us well, look we’re sailing, the water cleaned the boat.”

“we havent died.”

“im a little wet, but not too bad.”

“must be nice.”

“oh yeah you fell earlier.”

“how?”

“they were fighting Poseidon.”

“huh?”

“they probably found a rock they liked and went to get it but it ended up in water.”

“…yeah.”

you all ended up catching the wind and tubbo decided to make you and jack do reaction images.

“help girl, i don’t know how to sail.”

“okay jack your turn, drive and film.”

“hey look i’m filming and driving!”

“no film me and y/n!”

jack filmed the pair of you, tubbo had his arm around you to prevent you from falling out of the boat as you had a habit of leaning out the boat to touch the water. you had no idea what to do so ended up copying tubbo, the pair of you took off your hats .

“tips fedora…what do you want to name our boat?”

“tubboat!”

“no way..”

“THE TUBBOATS REAL NOW!!”

it was around now you and tubbo claimed you were all drifting out to sea, and to just let the wind take you wherever it wants to, whereas jack claimed the boat wasn’t moving at all. you pointed at a boat which was moving a lot quicker than you were.

“HES GOT WIND!”

“WHERES OUR WIND?”

“he stole our wind.”

“we’re stranded jack,y/n.”

you noticed lani and waved out to her.

“LANI!”

“jacks sailing, hes getting sailing tips from my cousins!”

“great can he take us to land?”

“no.”

“YO WERE ZOOMING!”

“i hope we don’t capsize..”

“why would we?”

tubbo looked at you and you nodded back at him.

“hey jack we’re gonna tip this boat!”

and with that the pair of you stood up and began tipping the boat over whilst laughing.

“SUCKER WERE STILL DRY!”

“tubbo i’m about to fall!”

tubbo grabbed your hand keeping you up on the boat with him, you both even managed to get back in the boat without getting wet.

“no, if i’m in you have to be in too.”

jack pushed tubbo into the water tubbo then went on to pull you into the water with him.

“NO!”

“IM FREEZING!”

tubbo helped you onto the boat first as this was the second time you ended up in the water, and you were quite clearly cold, he got on after you. you sat on the boat as he filmed the outro and jumped back into the water. once jack ended the recording, you reached out your hand to tubbo helping him back onto the boat. the way back to shore was you and tubbo clinging onto each other trying to warm up, and the three of you making shit jokes, and enjoying each other’s company. you even made a few more plans for when ranboos in the uk. few hours later you had said goodbye to jack and went back to tubbos house, tubbo let you shower first while he stayed with lani as she streamed.

“chuck your clothes outside the door, i’ll put them in the dryer whilst you shower. you can change into these.”

tubbo gave you a hoodie from his merch collection that would be dropping soon, along with your pyjama pants, 30 minutes later you sat with lani whilst tubbo went off to shower, lani ended up finishing the stream after 15 minutes.

“wanna make the necklaces lani?”

“i’d love to!”

not long later tubbo joined the pair of you.

“oooh tubbo i got you some more rocks, they're over there with your phone.”

you ended up making a couple of them into necklaces for him, so the the three of you had something to help you remember the day.

“y/n, i hope you’re enjoying your stay, youll practically be living here for a few month soon.”

“wait their parents said yes?!”

“what are you all talking about?”

taglist:

@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @augustine-is-joy @c1loudee

[angelicmark]

service call (m)

pairing: renjun x reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut

warnings: renjun pining for you, fingering, handjob, masturbation (male), unprotected sex

wc: 24.4k

summary: your job, in general, was to break other people up when someone in their relationship couldn’t do it themselves. it was an easy job for you. you had no emotional attachment to them, and it wasn’t your relationship anyway. until renjun’s girlfriend tells you to break up with him for her, and renjun makes his way into your life. developing a relationship with someone you tore apart is dangerous.

➣ apart of ‘right lover, wrong time’ series

↳ masterlist

“fuck.”

you cough loudly, the once silent room filling quickly with your aggressive coughs. you giggle a bit as people look at you with a stink eye. you knew people, in general, didn’t like you. you were the heartbreaker of many relationships. no, not yours. everyone else’s. not to say you were a homewrecker, you just did as you were paid to do. it was a quick and easy job compared to your job of waiting tables. speaking of, you were ready to get off shift soon. it was late, and very little people filled the diner because it was almost closing time. you lean your head on your hand as you watch your cowoker take the bill for the last customer, smiling sweetly at him as he rolls his eyes.

“you could help, you know,” he remarks, looking at you with a glare as he swipes the card.

you smile brighter, “but you’re really good at what you do. i’m still a bit clueless, jeno.”

jeno scowls at you, “shut up, flirt.”

you laugh lightly, about to say something before he waves you off and walks back to the customers, telling them to have a good day as they walk out after receiving the receipt. you huff, grabbing cleaning supplies as you wipe off the counter in front of you. jeno rolls his eyes again, a small smile playing on his lips helplessly.

“you do the bare minimum, dude.” jeno grabs a towel out of the bucket and slaps you with it on your back as you laugh again.

“hey, not true,” you pout after a small giggle, “i’m really good at my second job.” you smile again.

jeno rolls his eyes and snatches your towel out of your hands, “it’s not even a job. you just get paid to break other people up.”

“hey! only if i know they’re in the relationship,” you cross your arms, “i’m not going to do it just because someone tells me to.” you lean your head in your hand again, watching him cutely.

jeno scoffs, “i think it’s quite sadistic, but at least you get paid, i guess.”

you watch as jeno squirts the cleanser onto the table and cleans quickly, “it’s easy for me. i don’t find attachment to the relationships.”

“you don’t find attachment to anything.” jeno shoots back, looking at you with curt eyes.

you scowl at him this time, a pout etching your features, “not true. i have a strong attachment to my cat.”

jeno laughs, quickly cleaning the rest of the tables in the diner, “me too. but that doesn’t count. you don’t even live with your cat, he’s at home with your parents.”

you huff, “whatever, shut up. i’m doing a good job and that’s all that matters. it pays my bills and food.”

“how much do you even charge?” jeno quirks an eyebrow as he places the towel in a dirty hamper for it to be washed later. he stands beside you as you straighten up.

you lean your hip against the counter and shrug your shoulders, “depends on how hard they want me to break up with the person. if it’s too harsh, i charge more. it just seems fair, because sometimes i do feel a bit guilty after when they start crying.”

jeno nods his head, not saying anything after. you raise an eyebrow, silently asking him what’s wrong. jeno shakes his head, “is there anything you won’t do?”

“when they ask me to make them cheat or something,” you speak smoothly, “i won’t even think about touching the person or come close to it. i’m not a homewrecker and i never will be.”

“you’re still ruining relationships,” jeno furrows his eyebrows.

“it’s not like i’m coming between them,” you look at him with tired eyes and yawn. “that’s not what my job is for.”

jeno hums, “well, it doesn’t matter. we should head home now, i can see you’re getting tired there, cutie.”

you laugh at him, “shut up, flirt.” you retort back, repeating his previous words. jeno shakes his head with a light laugh, looking at you with crescent moon eyes.

“i’ll see you later,” jeno looks at you sweetly, and you nod your head.

“see you later.” you let out a sigh as you both walk out of the diner after shutting the lights off. the stars were out, and it made you smile a bit. you almost enjoyed walking home at night, even if it was a bit scary. your apartment wasn’t far from where you were, so you were gladly home safe in no time. when you walk inside, you’re greeted with the cold air of your apartment. you pout, realizing just how lonely it could feel in the remnants of the night when you’re alone and have no one to share the space with.

you stretch your limbs as you walk into your room, smiling at the sound of your bones softly cracking. it was a bit satisfying after a long day. changing into comfortable clothes, you yawn as you reach the comforts of your bed.

you jump slightly as you hear your phone ringing, a random number scanning the screen. you furrow your eyebrows, looking curiously. you decide to pick it up, a bit scattered at night.

“hello?” you sound groggy, but you don’t exactly care.

“is this y/n?” you hear a female voice on the other line, intriguing you.

“it is, who’s asking?” you don’t mean to sound rude, you were just a bit alarmed by the timing.

“i have a boyfriend-” oh, it was one of these calls.

you scoff, “who is this? and why the hell are you calling me at such a late hour and how did you even get my number?”

surely, you’ve gotten calls and texts from random people several times. but never this late and never without warning from someone else saying they were being passed over.

“i’m renjun’s girlfriend. yeri. have you heard of me?” the curious tone in her voice makes you feel a bit on edge.

you sit up on your mattress, “i have.” of course you have. everyone raves after her and praises her for being so damn pretty. renjun is quite the lucky man. or was, you guess.

“great,” you can hear her smile, “i need you to break up with renjun for me.”

you lean against your wall, a smile playing on your own lips, “you’re breaking up with renjun? he’s quite the gentleman.”

yeri pauses for a minute longer than usual, “yeah... he’s not my type though.” you only hum, and yeri continues. “will you do it?”

you let out another hum of acknowledgement, “sure. how do you want me to break up with him?”

another pause on yeri’s end, a small curse falling from her lips as she decides heavily on the question, “gently, please? he’s sweet and i hate to hurt him.”

you hate when people say that. you weren’t that big on empathy and feeling what others feel. you only knew how to break people up and call it a day. when people asked for you to be gentle, it made you a bit nervous. you didn’t understand why people would ask for you to be nice to them when they were quite literally breaking their partner’s heart. there was no true way to be gentle when breaking up with someone, you’ve discovered.

you agreed regardless, “sure. how will you pay?”

“do you have any like app i can send it through?” she asks nervously, you can hear the shake in her voice.

you nod before realizing she can’t see you, “i’ll send a link on message. bye, yeri.”

“bye,” she quickly speaks before hanging up the phone.

you scoff as you send the link and amount in the message, waiting for the money to be sent. when you get a ping from your phone, indicating you received it, you simply thanked her and told her you’d text her when you were finished with the job.

you hummed to yourself as you go to stalk her social media pages, seeing pictures of her and renjun together. renjun was quite pretty, and looked as handsome as ever. you began to wonder why she would want to break up with someone who was quite literally any girls dream. it was puzzling, but there was no going back now. she already paid, and you already agreed.

turning off your tableside lamp, you let out one last yawn before closing your eyes and preparing mentally for your next job.

break huang renjun’s heart in the nicest way possible.

“renjun?!” jeno looks at you with wide eyes as you both close together, once again. you rolls your eyes at his dramatic response, wiping down the counter while he freezes and eyes you suspiciously.

“yeah,” you shrug, “before you say anything negative, i already agreed and she already sent the money.”

“you can still return the money,” jeno glares, his eyes narrowing and judging you from where he was standing.

you raise an eyebrow at him, “why? are you friends with him or something?”

jeno scoffs, “kind of? we don’t hang out or anything but we always talk in lectures. he’s a really nice dude.” he crosses his arms while leaning against the counter as you finish wiping it down.

you sigh, dropping your head and closing your eyes to gather your thoughts before looking at him again, “he might be. but why should he be in a relationship based on lies? she can’t seem to do it, so she asked me. in a way, she’s lying to him and leading him on further by staying with him. if she wants me to break up with him, then i’m doing it.”

jeno’s shoulders drop as he realizes that you’re right. in a weird, sick way, you’re right. “yeah, i guess so.”

you nod curtly, “close up, i’m leaving.”

jeno looks at you with furrowed eyebrows, “what the hell?”

you wave him off while grabbing your jacket, “i’ll close next time, promise.” you smile one last time before walking out the door.

you barely have time to make it out before your body collides into another one, uttering out a quick apology, “shit, sorry-” your eyes connect with pretty brown ones that almost make you swoon. if it wasn’t the person it was, maybe you would have.

renjun let’s out an apology of his own, looking at you with wide eyes, “oh fuck, i’m so sorry.” renjun looks nervous as he stares into your eyes, making you tilt your head while inspecting him. he had an angelic appearance, and definitely had great manners. “i only realized this place was closed after looking at the time on the door. i was just about to leave before you opened the door,” he chuckles lightly, the cold air making his nose slightly red.

you look back and see jeno staring at you with wide eyes in shock, wondering what you’re going to say next. and you were starting to wonder if renjun knew of you, or your business. you licked your lips and looked back at the boy in front of you, closing the door to the diner and stepping out of jeno’s view. you can already feel the pout on his face from not being able to get to see the show.

“it’s alright,” you eye him a bit longer, making him shift where he stands. “i actually was, oddly enough, looking for you.” you smile charmingly, and renjun’s eyes go wide.

“me?” he points to himself, eyebrows raised which makes you laugh.

“yeah,” you nod, “do you know me?” and renjun sees the tilt in your head as your eyes glow under the street lamp lights. his heart seems to flutter in his chest, much against his own will.

“i..” he pauses, a sigh escaping his lips. he takes a minute to think, scanning your face and features as much as he could. he was trying hard to recognize you, eyebrows scrunched together. when he makes eye contact again, everything seems to click together in his head as he realizes just exactly who you are. almost everyone knew of you, you were quite the talk around campus. renjun grows tense being in your presence, his shoulders heightening and his stomach turning in nerves. “i do.” he was firm in his answer after the endless silence. of course renjun knew.

you smile again, “wanna get a milkshake from somewhere?” you look at him curiously.

“no.” and renjun means it.

you’re a bit taken aback by his blunt response, eyes wide and looking at him incredulously. renjun sighs, closing his eyes for a second or two before opening them back up and revealing tear sprung eyes. you feel a twinge in your heart at the sight. he knows. he knows all too well what this means, being in your presence. he knows what it means when you want to ‘talk’ to him. you sigh yourself this time, of course he knew.

“i understand,” you’re confident in the way you speak, not faltering. “yeri told me to be kind to you, if it helps. she said you were very sweet and hates to see you hurt. i just don’t think she sees a future with you, renjun.”

renjun nods quickly before turning away from you, and it felt like you were the one being dumped. it didn’t feel right to leave it like that. you huff, debating on chasing after him or not. you didn’t want to seem pushy, or remind him of the fact that he’s being broken up with, but you couldn’t leave the conversation so short. it’s never happened before with anyone.

you end up chasing after him, even though you probably shouldn’t have.

“renjun!” you run after him, and you see renjun start to walk in longer strides. “hey, fuck, wait!” you trip shortly before catching speed again and ending up next to him, much to his displeasure.

“i get it,” he spits out, “quit rubbing it in my face.” he looks at you with vile, and you feel stung. you shouldn’t have. you were just doing your job, and this was normal. why was it different coming from him? it’s not like you haven’t had this kind of reaction from people before.

you frown at him while fast walking beside him, “i’m not.. trying to.” you try to catch your breath, “fuck, slow down, renjun!” you grab at his shoulders and stop him in his tracks. he glares at you and shoves your hands off of him.

“why? so you can continue on with your pity speech? thanks, but i don’t fucking need it.” renjun’s voice was filled with anger, making you swallow at the tone he used. “leave me alone. it’s not your relationship, and it certainly isn’t your fucking business. you were just paid to do the job.”

you’re stunned at his words and reaction. it was true, and he was right. you stared at him with a shocked expression, and he scoffs. renjun didn’t seem like the person to have this much anger built inside of him, and he certainly didn’t seem like the type of person to lose it on someone like this. but you knew he had a good reason this time. why can’t you just stop pestering him already?

“right, i know.” you huff, your shoulders slouching as you look away from him for a minute before making eye contact again. his brown eyes were seeping with anger and frustration and hurt. “i’m not going to give you a pity speech.”

“then why do you keep stopping me from walking away? you did your job already,” he was still seething, but you can see him visibly relax.

“i..” you pause, and the air turns tense in the silence. you honestly had no idea. you should have just let him walk away in the first place and taken the hint that he didn’t want to even remotely look at you. “i’m not sure.” you defeat, looking at him nervously.

renjun feels himself loosening up at the sight of you, and he curses himself for finding you oddly cute as you play with the hems of your sleeves on your sweater. renjun wanted nothing more than to scoff at you again, and walk away from you to leave you in the dust. but he couldn’t bring himself to do that the longer he stared at you. his chest tightened as you straightened out your shoulders and tried to appear more confident than seconds prior.

“i’ll leave now.” and he wants to stop you from walking away this time, but he can’t. and he doesn’t. he drives home that night with tears in his eyes and anger sinking deep into his bones.

you heave out a breath as you walk home to your apartment, opening your front door and leaning against it when you reach inside. you close your eyes, sighing again. that had to be the weirdest break up you’ve ever done, and the most complicating one. you scratch the palm of your hand as you open your eyes, looking around the dimly lit room.

jumping, you hear the loud ring of your phone. yeri’s contact shows up, making you scowl but picking up anyway. “the job is done.” you state into the phone with a monotone voice.

“thanks,” yeri breathes into the other line, “i couldn’t have done it without you.”

you hear that often, but this time it makes you slightly sick to your stomach. “yeah. i’m aware.” you didn’t mean for your tone to sound harsh, but it did.

you can feel the embarrassment hanging off yeri’s shoulders as she quickly says bye and thanks once more before hanging up. you roll your eyes and scoff before checking the time on your phone and realizing it’s just slightly past eleven at night. you let out a yawn instinctively, stretching your limbs and releasing the tense feeling in your body.

you, oddly enough, sleep with a heavy mind that night.

the next day is more simple than the last. and you don’t feel as heavy or guilty as you did when you broke up with renjun for yeri. you’re almost sure renjun has a lot of questions bouncing in his mind, as any other person would after being broken up with. it was especially odd to send someone else to break up with you, and you can only imagine what everyone thought when they thought of you. you assumed negative things.

you huff as you walk out of your last lecture of the day, watching as the sun begins to set and your mind becomes muddled. you had an evening course today and you received a text from jeno saying he did too, prompting him to give you ride. you smile to yourself as you reach outside and see a familiar male standing next to his car, waiting for you. as you walk closer, though, your blood runs cold and you stop in your tracks. there was someone else standing next to him, and it wasn’t very convenient for you.

you swallow and put on a brave face as you walk up to jeno, renjun standing right beside him. renjun’s eyes scan the parking lot and land right on you as you start to head toward his direction. his stomach spikes up in nerves, and he quickly looks at jeno with confusion written on his face as you approach them both.

“hey, cutie,” jeno quickly greets you, ignoring the sharp glare sent his way as you reject his hug. he pouts, “what?”

you roll your eyes, your gaze landing right on renjun, “i wasn’t expecting you. jeno didn’t tell me.” you look at jeno with another pointed look.

“me neither,” renjun confirms, nodding his head curtly. “he offered me a ride.”

you cross your arms, “same for me.”

“i’m right here,” jeno waves his hand in front of the both of you, and you scowl in his direction.

“i’m painfully aware,” you shift awkwardly as your eyes land on renjun again. “i forgot you had the same classes as him. you have the same major.”

renjun nods again, “yeah.” his responses are short, and you completely understand why. you don’t push a conversation with him any further.

“i’ll take the bus or something,” you wave jeno off, making him pout and grab your wrist while tilting his head.

“i can drive you both home,” jeno gives you a small smile.

you look at renjun with worry. there’s no way he would ever want to be in the same car as you, let alone breathing the same air as you.

to your surprise, renjun nods, “it’s fine.”

you slump your shoulders down, removing the grip jeno has on your wrist with a small frown. “are you sure?” you’re not asking jeno, you’re asking renjun. “i can really take the bus, no problem.”

renjun looks at you, raising an eyebrow, “i said it was fine, so it’s fine. don’t take the bus.”

you finally slowly nod your head, “okay. you can sit in front, though.” you offer renjun, and he just nods his head back.

jeno grins at the both of you, “great! let’s go then.”

the car ride is awkward, and you feel your heart tighten every time you even remotely look at renjun. you weren’t used to feeling guilty for doing your job, but you also never had to interact with the person more than once. let alone be in the same damn car as them. tension felt high on your end, and probably renjun’s end too. but jeno didn’t really seem to notice as he continue to turn the wheel on his car. you sigh quietly, looking out the back window and letting your thoughts consume you. this was quite inconvenient, and you were definitely going to have a long talk with jeno about this. he knew about your job, and yet still offered him a ride while knowing you needed one too.

jerk.

you’ll never forget this one.

your eyes end up traveling to renjun in the passenger seat, you sitting behind jeno so you’re able to get a good view of him. renjun was beautiful. he has a pretty nose, nice lips, good jawline, beautiful eye shape and color. he was, quite literally, stunning. you never really noticed how truly handsome and pretty he was until you got a closer look. his face wasn’t filled with vile or anger, and he wasn’t spewing words at you that made you want to curl up. he was just himself, renjun, for the time being.

when the car suddenly comes to a stop, you look and see that you’re not at your apartment, but renjun’s. the building was excessively tall and large, and you gape at the size of it. renjun thanks jeno, before turning back to look at you with your mouth wide open in shock. renjun can’t stop the little chuckle that escapes his lips as he eyes you. you looked like a kid on christmas, and it warmed his heart. he coughed, wondering why the hell he found you to be so cute all of a sudden. it made him feel strange the longer he looked at you. he breaks his thoughts before they travel too far.

“bye, y/n.” renjun’s soft voice cut through the air, and you jump at the sound, looking at him with bright eyes. he adores you for a second longer before snapping out of it.

“bye, renjun.” you wave at him as he gets out the car, and the minute he shuts the door, you climb over the middle console to sit next to jeno in the passenger seat.

the first thing you do after buckling is punch jeno’s arm. “ow! what the fuck?!” jeno hisses, rubbing his arm and looking at you like you’re crazy.

you snarl at him, “why the hell would you offer him a fucking ride?! you saw me bump into him last night, idiot!” you slap him again, and jeno just rolls his eyes from the weak hit.

“he needed a ride,” jeno shrugs his shoulders, “i couldn’t say no to the dude. he just got broken up with.”

“why didn’t you say anything about him?! or me for that fact!” you squeal at jeno, looking at him with annoyance and confusion as he pulls away from the enormous building where renjun lives.

“i was in the middle of texting you, but then you popped up so it didn’t really matter anymore. i was going to mention you after i sent the text,” jeno claims, giving you a side eye as he continues driving in the direction of your place. you huff and press your back into the seat aggressively, a large pout on your lips.

“it was so awkward, jeno,” you mumble with a whine, making jeno laugh. you glare at him as he continues to laugh at your expense. “he had no idea! we both didn’t.” you cross your arms and look out the window, indicating you were annoyed and upset with jeno.

he pouts, “come on now,” jeno lightly pushes you at a red light, looking at you with apologetic eyes as you turn to look at him. “it was just bad timing, babe.”

“ew,” you scoff, “don’t call me that.”

jeno laughs and his eyes and nose scrunch up as he hits the gas pedal when it turns green, “i’m really sorry.” jeno speaks, a smile still on his face.

“shut up,” you roll your eyes. “i take back what i said the other night.”

“huh?”

“you’re closing next time, too.”

jeno grunts as you smile in victory.

your legs dangle over jeno’s lap as you sit in his apartment living room. he had a nicer place than yours, considering his parents were a little... wealthy. to say the least. they actually owned the diner the two of you work at, but they were never really around. you mostly hung around him when you were bored and had nothing else to do. jeno was your bordem savior. but, right now, you wanted to kick him in the balls from where he sat.

“you’re what?!” your eyes are wide, and jeno wants to laugh at how comical you look, but decides against it. he still wants to have kids in the future, and your feet were way too close to his crotch area.

“it just happened today!” jeno defends, looking at you with his own wide eyes. jeno’s hands raise in defeat, “hey, don’t blame me. blame my professor.”

you scoff, “you’re paired with renjun for a project?” you sound and look incredulous right now. but you were truly having a hard time believing this was real life. you were truly doomed.

“yeah, i mean, i knew we had a partner project soon but i didn’t know my partner. i guess it’s just very inconvenient,” he stiffles a laugh at the end and you can see the way he tries to stop himself.

your eyes narrow in his direction and he seels his lips tight, “so, no more rides from you without seeing renjun? is he going to visit our work? is he coming here more often?” your questions fly out your mouth before you could stop them, worry flashing your eyes.

jeno snorts, “probably.”

“i hate you.”

“hey! i’m just being honest!” jeno shoots you a surprised look.

you huff, leaning back in your seat as your back presses against the arm of his couch, “this sucks. of course this happens to me.”

jeno’s eyes travel to where you start to cross your arms and he laughs, “you’re such a child, babe.”

“my feet are very close to your prized jewels right now, jeno.” you warn, looking at him with narrowed eyes again.

jeno swallows, “but you’re cute?” he says it in a question, and you roll your eyes but you have a small smile playing at your lips. jeno smiles back. “it won’t be that bad. the project is only due in a month.”

“a month?! what the fuck? how big is this project?” your eyes turn wide and with worry.

jeno sinks further into his own seat, “i know, that’s what i was thinking, too. he just gave us an extended amount of time because he knew we were all lazy in the first place. he desperately wants us to pass,” he chuckles a bit, “but i’m already passing.”

you roll your eyes at the small boast, “what about renjun?”

jeno hums, “he takes school very seriously, from what i know. he’s always focused in class and never slacks off even the slightest. he’s a hard worker.”

you groan, “so, he’s going to be over a lot?”

“probably.” jeno repeats. “he doesn’t like the idea of even possibly failing.”

you fall further into your seat, your head now leaning against the arm of the couch as you sulk. jeno looks at you with a small smile, but it wasn’t comforting. he was mocking you.

“i will actually kick you in the nuts right now.” you threaten, your face serious and stern.

jeno goes pale for a moment, before he smiles again, “you said that a few minutes ago, but my nuts are still in tact.” you start to raise your leg, before jeno pushes your legs down with wide eyes, “alright, alright! i’m sorry.”

“you should be,” you say it softly but there’s a small smile on your face, and jeno returns it. “this is just too much for me.” you whine, your hands going to cover your face.

jeno rubs soothing circles into your calves with his thumbs, one hand on each leg, “sorry, cutie.”

“you didn’t try asking for anyone else?” you remove your hands and raise an eyebrow at him.

he snorts again, “no, i can’t stand everyone else in that class. they’re all very annoying and it’s no wonder professor gave us an extended deadline. renjun was the best option for anyone, i was just lucky...ish?” he says the last part with hesitance.

you groan again, making a pouty face and looking at jeno’s hands on your legs, “i’m just going to have to get over it and try to avoid him as best i can.”

“that’s not getting over it, that’s pushing it aside.” jeno points out.

you look at him again with a sour look, “you are really pushing it today, jeno.”

“don’t hurt my balls.”

you scoff as you lean back into your seat, a small laugh escaping your throat before you can stop it. you were lucky enough to have jeno as a friend, and the jokes the two of you would pull always made you feel better. it was just a natural thing between the two of you, and you were heavily grateful for him. not that that you would outwardly express that to him, but you knew that he knew this in some ways. he could probably see it in the way you smile after every joke. jeno really was your best friend.

you check the time on your phone, “i should go. i have to study for a test.”

jeno nods, pushing your legs off of him as you start to get up, “i’ll see you later, babe.”

“will you ever stop saying that?”

jeno smiles, “nope.”

you roll your eyes as you open his front door, “bye, idiot.”

“bye, cutie!” he shouts out as you close the door. you can’t stop the smile on your face as you walk out.

your mind subconsciously wanders towards a certain male. renjun.

you frown as you realize it was probably going to be a lot harder to avoid him if he came to your work. you hoped he wouldn’t, and he would just opt to go to jeno’s place or his to work on the project and not bother going to the diner. but renjun was a hard worker, from what you knew. and you assumed he would take any opportunity he could to talk to jeno about the project.

you conclude that you’re fucked by the time you reach your apartment that night.

you were tired, exhausted. jeno could see it in your eyes as you yawned once again, your eyes filling up with water. jeno looks at you with worry, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“are you okay?” his voice interupts your sleepy daze, and you let out a low sigh.

“just tired. i stayed up late again studying after i left your place,” you lean against the counter beside you and cross your arms. the diner was conveniently empty around this time, and you were grateful for the slow day for once.

“you should rest more, it’s not good to stay up that late.” jeno scolds you, giving you a look that a mother gives a child when they steal a cookie out of the jar.

you hum, “i know, i’ll rest tonight.”

“did you pass the test at least?” he questions, raising an eyebrow at you as he stands in front of you and leans against the counter as well.

“i-” you’re about to answer, before someone walks in and interupts your conversation. you go to greet them, before you realize it’s a familiar male. your eyes whip in jeno’s direction and his own eyes turn wide.

“i forgot,” he looks at you sheepishly, “he texted me saying he was going to come by on my break.”

you huff, running your hands over your face in frustration as renjun makes his way towards the front counter. “i’m going to actually castrate y-”

“renjun!” jeno shouts too enthusiastically, interupting you as he grins at renjun gratefully. you roll your eyes as you watch the two of them. jeno retreats from behind the counter to walk towards him, and renjun looks at him curiously.

“jeno?” he says it in a question, unsure as to why jeno was so happy to see him all of a sudden.

jeno pouts playfully, “y/n was about to beat me up.”

you scoff, “you would have deserved it.” a small smile plays on your lips as a playful glint dances through your eyes.

renjun stands a little awkwardly, not sure what to say or do. he had no idea how to respond, or what he should do in a situation even close to this. you could see that renjun was still cautious towards you, but thankfully jeno broke the silence.

“i have to run out to my car and get my books,” jeno grabs his keys out of his pocket before heading towards the back where his car was parked, “i’ll be right back.” you were going to curse jeno for leaving you alone with renjun. you didn’t even have time to whine about it to him as he rushes out the door. you only hoped he would be quick.

your previous sleepy daze seemed to be snapped right out of you as you looked at renjun to catch him looking at you already. his gaze was a little intense as he eyed you, and you were almost afraid to look away. he had a pretty brown pair of eyes, and they seemed to visibly darked as you switched your gaze from his eyes to his lips unconsciously. he had a pretty face, his features seemingly dainty.

he speaks into the silence, breaking you out of your trance, “is he always like that?”

“huh?” you tilt your head.

he laughs lightly, the sound ringing in your ears, “bubbly. he seems a bit scattered.”

you shake your head, “he’s actually quite shy around people he doesn’t know. he’s just comfortable around me, and i guess you too because you’re in his class.” you smile softly at renjun, and he returns it back, making your stomach churn.

renjun nods his head, “how long have you been dating?”

you cough, choking on your spit as you heave out a breath of air. did he really just ask that? renjun’s eyes go wide as he fears you’re having a hard time breathing and he’s now aware that he caught you off guard. the apology quickly flies out of his mouth before he can think.

“i’m sorry,” he rushes, “i didn’t mean to pry, or anything. that was quite sudden.” he speaks politely and you laugh out loud, the sound englufing renjun whole as he listens to the pretty noise. renjun curses his heart as it flutters in his chest.

“he’s not my boyfriend, not even close.” you let out after you catch your breath and you stabilize. “we’ve been friends since kids, it would be weird to think of him that way. i know he feels the same about me.”

“so you two work together too?” he asks curiously, suddenly invested.

“yeah,” you nod, “we’re coworkers and best friends. his parents actually own this diner. they offered both of us a job here once we were old enough.”

“where are they?” he looks around and finds it’s just you and him, and jeno who was taking too long in his car looking for his books.

you shrug, “they’re not the most humble of people.” you start, leaning on the counter as you begin to feel more comfortable around him. you place your elbows on the counter, your front half leaning on it as you put your head in your hands, “so they’re not always around, and sometimes even jeno isn’t sure where they are. they still regularly send money to him and check up on him, but i’m not sure that’s healthy parenting.”

renjun nods, suddenly feeling sorry for jeno, “where are your parents?”

you tense at the question but decide to answer anyway, “i moved out awhile ago. i was mostly around jeno to begin with, and my parents..” you pause, and he watches you patiently. your mind runs wild as you hesitate in answering. “they were never around either. while jeno’s parents still check on him, mine don’t. they’re more greedy than jeno’s parents.”

“so you’re both wealthy?” he asks, curiosity lingering in his gaze.

“my parents are, and jeno is. my parents don’t help me out much,” you get up from your leaning position and stand away from the counter, the stance becoming uncomfortable. “i do everything on my own, which i prefer anyway.”

renjun nods, ready to ask more questions before the back door opens and here comes jeno running in. renjun looks a little solemn that your moment with him is over, but you don’t dwell on it.

“finally found it,” jeno breathes, “my bag was hidden under my seat.”

you laugh at jeno, tearing away from renjun so soon. it leaves him a little empty, but he pushes the thought aside as he hears you speak, “you took way too long, dude.”

jeno huffs, “i know, i know. sorry for leaving you with her for so long.” jeno looks apologetically towards renjun, and you wack his shoulder as he winces.

“hey! i’m not that bad,” you interject, looking at him with a pout. you’re suddenly aware that you quite literally broke up renjun with his girlfriend, and you shrink where you stand as you look back towards him. renjun didn’t seem uncomfortable for once, and you let out a breath of relief.

renjun shakes his head, a smile playing on his lips, “she’s great at conversations, i wasn’t bored.” renjun unexpectedly compliments you, and your eyes go wide. you feel your hands start to tingle as you stand there, the compliment making your head spin.

jeno smiles brightly, his eyes squinting as he looks at you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you close to him, “she can be great, can’t she?”

you push jeno away with a scoff, “you were just insulting me two seconds ago, get off me, idiot.”

jeno rolls his eyes, but a smile is still placed on his lips, “whatever, cutie. should we get to work now?” his question is directed towards renjun, and you look at the way renjun diverts his gaze from you to jeno.

“yeah,” renjun nods, before giving you a smile, “thank you for keeping me company while jeno looked for his books.”

you nod back, a smile on your own face, “anytime.”

renjun likes the feeling you give him for the small amount of time before he retreats to an empty table with jeno. renjun wants to hate you and look at you with a scowl on his face everytime he sees you, but his body always chooses against him and his feelings run high every time he comes close to you. he was unsure what he really felt when it came to you, but he realized it wasn’t bitterness or anger like he once felt the night of you breaking up with him for yeri. renjun had time to recollect his thoughts and reminisce in his past relationship since then. you gave him a different feeling from before, and he no longer felt uneasy around you.

as he looks at jeno while he speaks, renjun unknowingly starts to gain a small crush on you.

grabbing a coffee from your campus café, you let out a soft yawn and pay for your drink. the cold was approaching, and feeling the hot liquid run down your throat as you sip makes you smile just a bit. you had an early lecture today, and you could still feel sleep creeping in your bones. as you turn to walk out, you notice someone walk in. you curse beneath your breath. this was becoming a ridiculous recurrence nowadays.

renjun’s eyes scan the room, before landing on you. his eyes turn slightly wide, before softening and making way to approach you. he strides easily, a small smile playing on his lips while walking towards you.

“this is just becoming weird,” renjun laughs, “why do we always seem to meet?”

you huff, taking another sip of your drink, “it is weird,” you chuckle, “i’m not sure. maybe we’re meant to be?” you giggle, and he smiles at you gleefully.

“we just might be,” his grin was captivating, and you will yourself to tear away from his pretty eyes. “you have an early course today, too?”

you nod your head, “yeah, does jeno?”

“i assume so?” he tilts his head slightly, “he probably slept in late today, though.” renjun scoffs as he thinks of the boy’s reckless attitude.

“he does love his sleep,” you laugh lightly. renjun likes the way you sound when you laugh, and he finds your smile to be quite charming.

“he didn’t offer you a ride?” he asks, tilting his head as he stares curiously.

you shake your head, “nope, i didn’t even know he would have an early course.”

renjun nods, before an idea pops in his mind and he hesitantly asks you a question that makes your mind fuzzy. “i can take you to class from now on, if you want?” renjun desperately wanted to spend more time with you. he would be lying if he said he didn’t.

“oh, uh,” you look nervously, “i really don’t want to be a bother, or anything.” you shuffle on your feet, and you were really starting to wonder why renjun didn’t hate you.

“you won’t be,” he beams at you with a cute smile, “how do you normally get here?”

“the bus, or i call an uber,” you state nervously.

renjun pouts, “that’s expensive for a college student. i don’t mind taking you on days we have schedules close in time.” he pauses before continuing, “jeno sleeps in too late,” he lightly laughs.

you grip onto the coffee in your hand, your eyes meeting his, “he does,” you chuckle back. you stand in silence as you consider renjun’s offer. “if you don’t mind, then i’ll take up on your offer.”

renjun smiles brightly, “of course i don’t mind,” his voice is soft and reassuring, “can i have your number? i’ll text you my schedule.” he hands you his phone.

you nod your head and place your number into his contacts, “thank you, renjun.” you’re wafted with a grateful feeling for renjun as you watch him type into his phone.

“no problem,” he casually says. seconds later, you hear a ping come from your phone, “that’s my schedule. if you have the same hours, just let me know. my schedule sometimes varies.”

you nod again, “thank you, again. jeno never sends me his schedule,” you scoff.

renjun laughs, “i can tell.” renjun checks the time on his phone, “i have to go now, but i’ll see you later.”

you smile at him, “see you later.”

as he walks out, it suddenly deems on you that you just gave renjun your number. you really, truly just gave renjun your number, and he was planning on taking you to your classes any time the two of you had close enough schedules. you realize that renjun was too sweet and kind for his own good. if you were him, you would probably hate you. but renjun hasn’t exactly been rude to you the whole entire time, even when you broke him and yeri up, per yeri’s request. he was just angry, but definitely not spiteful towards you. it made you feel slightly more guilty the kinder and kinder he became.

you definitely had to get used to this.

“me and renjun literally have almost the same schedule, why is he offering you rides when i can give them?”

you roll your eyes at jeno’s words, “you wake up too late, idiot.” you pause as he chuckles, “he probably means when you can’t, or don’t want to.”

jeno takes a bite of his muffin before sipping his coffee and replying to you, “less driving for me then.” he grins at you, and you scoff at him.

“i’ll just ask renjun from now on then,” you stick your tongue out at him, and jeno only laughs again.

“you’re so cute,” he confesses, pinching your cheek after setting down his muffin and coffee. “renjun is probably more reliable anyway.” you watch as jeno slumps into his seat. “he’s actually supposed to be over soon,” he checks the time on his phone, surprised by the numbers shown.

“what?” you panic, unaware that renjun was supposed to be coming over to jeno’s anytime soon. you sat in his living room, a shirt of jeno’s embracing your body and a pair of shorts you threw on. “fuck, why do you never tell me these things prior?” you hurriedly start to gather your things, eagerly looking for your misplaced apartment key.

jeno shrugs, “i lost track of time.”

you roll your eyes, about to tell him off before you both hear a loud knock at his front door. you groan and look at jeno desperately, “i hate you so much, jeno.”

jeno laughs as he walks towards the door, “no you don’t!”

you huff as you sit back down on his couch, already knowing it was too late to go walking out the door like you were never there in the first place. as you hear jeno greet renjun, your mind floods with thoughts of him. you started to curse yourself for wearing one of jeno’s shirts, knowing he would think something was going on between the two of you when, in reality, nothing was. you were just extremely close with jeno, and that’s how it always would be. you weren’t sure why you were so worried about renjun seeing you in jeno’s clothes, but you were slightly freaking out in your seat. hopefully he wouldn’t notice it was one of jeno’s shirts.

“also,” you hear jeno approaching the room, “y/n’s here.” you can just hear the smile in his voice. cocky idiot.

as jeno and renjun walk in, you look dumbly at the both of them. you were unsure what to do at this point. you kept mindlessly running into renjun without meaning to, and it was becoming ridiculous. you really hoped he didn’t think you were stalking him and keeping tabs on him.

“hey, we meet again,” your voice wavers, and you’re not sure why you were so nervous. it wasn’t like renjun hadn’t talked to you before.

renjun takes in your appearance, and you shift in your spot on the couch. “i’m starting to think us meeting isn’t simply by chance anymore,” renjun smiles at you teasingly, and you groan.

“i promise it is,” you lightly laugh, before catching a glimpse at jeno, who is smirking to himself.

“do you want to stay here while we work?” jeno asks, looking at you curiously now. “you can stay the night.”

you hum, “i’ll stay.” in all honesty, you didn’t want to go home. your neighbors could be loud at night, and it could be quite the distraction. you had already brought all of your stuff with you, planning on staying the night in the first place. you couldn’t find a problem in waiting for jeno and renjun to get done with their work.

jeno nods, “where do you wanna work?” he asks renjun, and you tune out the rest as you unknowingly admire renjun once again.

he had such pure features, and he was so virtually kind. you wondered how renjun could have such a strong temper, and always look so heavenly. and, unknown to you, but renjun was quietly admiring you back. renjun felt a twist in his stomach the minute he heard you were here, and his heart stung when he saw you sat on the couch in a large t-shirt and some shorts. renjun shouldn’t be catching feelings for someone like you. or just you in general. but he was, and he found his heart playing strings on him at the sound of your voice, the way your lips moved, your eyes zeroed in on him. it was lethal for him.

he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what he felt when it came to you, but he knew it was developing the more and more he got to see you. he found you irresistible, and he was thanking the universe for not keeping you away from him. he didn’t want to consider you as a rebound, though. and he refused to make you think you were just a way to get over his ex. so he stayed extremely quiet, admiring you from where you were. he wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to gain the courage to have a one-on-one conversation with you, but he hoped he would sometime in the future. he would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn’t.

as renjun worked with jeno, you were laced in his brain most of the time, making it hard for him to focus and work on what he needed to. it was uncharted territory for him, considering he was a hard worker and constantly needed everything to be perfect. but you managed to take over his thoughts for most of the evening, and that was terrifying on his end.

“thanks for working with me,” jeno casually says as he walks towards the door with renjun.

renjun nods his head, “we did good. we got quite a bit done, we might have this done sooner than expected.” renjun smiles at him as kind as possible, and jeno chuckles, patting him on the back.

“maybe,” jeno pauses, before turning his gaze to you as he passes by the living room, “i expect my shirt to be returned to me this time.” jeno snarls at you, and renjun feels his whole heart sink into his stomach. you were wearing jeno’s shirt?

you hear jeno, and it makes you freeze from where you’re seated. surely, renjun heard him, too. fuck sake, renjun was right next to him. you want to slap jeno on the back of his head for saying something so careless. you start to panic again, your eyes wandering to the hallway connected to the living room as you see jeno stopped there to give you an accusing look. you lean over the back of the couch and scowl at him.

“oh shut up, you never wear this shirt anyway, idiot.” you grip onto the couch tighter as you look over the renjun. his expression is unreadable, and you mentally curse jeno for him and his loud mouth. “we’re friends, let me wear your shirt.” you quickly let out, eyes lingering on renjun for just a bit longer as you watch his eyebrow slightly twitch.

jeno huffs, “whatever, cutie.”

you watch as jeno starts to walk away, but renjun stands for a second longer, “i’ll see you later, y/n.” and he smiles at you, despite the sting of jealousy coating his bones. he wanted you to be close to him the way you were with jeno, but he understood that wasn’t exactly possible. renjun didn’t grow up with you the way jeno did.

“see you, renjun,” you smile back, and sigh to yourself as you sink back into the couch, watching renjun finally starting to walk away.

jeno says his goodbyes to renjun, before shutting the door and being greeted by a frown from you. “what?” he tilts his head innocently.

when he sits next to you, you thwack him behind his head and cross your arms, “you idiot!”

“ow! what the fuck?!” jeno exclaims, eyes widening as he stares in shock.

“you just had to mention me wearing your shirt,” you glare at him, and jeno really isn’t understanding where you’re coming from.

“yeah? and?” jeno looks incredulous, still confused and shaken up by your random outburst. “what? do you like him or something?”

you lean back into your seat further, “i’m..not sure.” your arms were still crossed, and you looked around the room with nervous eyes.

jeno smiles at you, “you do, don’t you?”

“fuck, just shut up, jeno.” you groan, lightly kicking him in the thigh, “i don’t know, i told you.”

jeno sits proudly in his seat, “whatever you say, cutie.”

“i really hate your attitude right now.”

jeno shrugs, “you’re still here, though, aren’t you?”

you kicked him again, and he lets out a loud laugh at the action.

you were seriously going to go crazy soon because of him.

your nerves were on edge. you had the same schedule as renjun today, and you tried asking jeno to get you but he was obviously sleeping, if his lack of response was anything to go by. you cursed jeno for sleeping so much. you really didn’t want to have to pay to get to campus, but you also didn’t want to bother renjun.

you stare at your phone screen as your typed out message asking him if he can pick you up sits there. you could feel your heart jump out of your chest as you hesitantly press send, deciding on not dragging it out any longer before you end up being too late. a few seconds later, you get a ping on your phone as he types out ‘sure’ with a smiley face next to it. you let out a long sigh, feeling your body start to relax.

when renjun asked for your address, you were suddenly aware of the fact that you would be alone with him in a car. a small, enclosed space. the thought made you dizzy as you sent your address quickly. you could handle being in the car with him when jeno was there, but you weren’t sure how you were going to react to being alone with him in a car. you started to wonder what he smelt like, and if you were going to be able to possibly smell him in the car.

you scoff at yourself for being so creepy, deciding on quickly getting ready as you see renjun saying he’s on the way.

as you slip your shirt over your head, you hear your phone ringing, blindly picking it up, “hello?”

“i’m here,” his voice was laced with sleep still, and you could audibly hear it.

you swallow, “i’ll be right out.”

renjun hangs up the phone with a small hum, and you softy smile to yourself as you swing your bag over your shoulder and lock the door behind you. you see his car in front of your apartment, considering the apartment you lived in was almost like a townhome. you can see him through the window shield, watching as he fixed his hair in the mirror before making eye contact with you. you looked pretty even in the mornings, and it truly blew him away. he could feel his heart flutter at the thought of finally being able to get a longer moment alone with you.

as you walk towards his car, he places a bright smile on his face when you open the door, “good morning.”

you laugh lightly, closing the door and placing your bag onto the floor, “good morning.” you pause, situating yourself as you buckle, “thank you, by the way.”

renjun waves you off, a small smile on his lips, “no problem.”

his hair was slightly out of place, but you liked it that way. he adorned a simple sweater and some jeans, making him look more cozy and inviting. when he shifted the car from park to reverse, you got a sudden whiff of his cologne. and oh, did he smell heavenly. your thoughts drown out the real world as you take in renjun’s appearance more and more. he smelled expensive, in a way, but you didn’t exactly mind it. not in the slightest.

“jeno didn’t answer i’m guessing?” renjun takes a quick glance at you before looking back at the road.

you nod your head, “yeah, he adores his sleep a little bit too much.” you snort in thought of jeno constantly sleeping in, and renjun laughs with you.

“i can tell.” renjun’s voice is deeper than usual, and you assume it’s because it’s so early in the morning. but you end up actually liking the sound of it.

renjun can feel his heart beating heavily inside his chest. he wasn’t sure how to go about talking to you, or simply being around you. he was causing himself danger being around you so much, that much he knew. but he couldn’t bring himself to stop surrounding himself in you. maybe it was the way you two constantly seemed to randomly bump into each other, but he was starting to really enjoy being in your company. he probably shouldn’t have. and he knows this. but he couldn’t help the fact that his heart quickens in pace, his hands grow tingly, and his body reacts to you in every way possible. you were becoming unbearably intoxicating to him so quickly, and the thought terrified him to no end. but he made no moves to stop it, and he continued to consume himself in you. he shouldn’t have. he knows. god, he knows.

but the second he glances over at you as he puts his car in park in the campus parking lot, he thinks he can endure being around you for just a little bit longer. he finds the way you search aimlessly into your bag for an item completely adoring. he thinks the way you pout when you can’t find it absolutely charming. he likes the small little smile on your face as you pull out your wallet from your bag, showing him that you found it.

renjun was really becoming fond of you way too quickly.

“i found it,” you say cutely, looking at him with bright eyes that made his heart swoon for you.

“good job,” renjun smiles sweetly, and you shyly turn away from his sincere gaze. you weren’t entirely sure what you felt when it came to renjun, but you didn’t find it to be negative in any way.

renjun turns his car off finally, taking his keys and placing them in his pocket, “i’ll drive you home after, too. if that’s okay?”

you nod your head, looking at him gratefully, “more than okay.”

renjun admires your pretty smile for just a bit longer, before nodding his head back and getting out of the car, you following suit. he finds himself watching you walk away when you give him a cute little wave, a big smile gracing your beautiful features. and renjun can’t seem to focus for most of his class, his mind fuzzy from thoughts of you. the image of your smile is engraved into his head, and he likes the way you make him feel, despite knowing how odd it may seem. it was almost as if he completely forgot about the whole yeri situation, and in all honesty, he kind of did. yeri was the last of his worries when it came to you, and he liked knowing that, too. although you did break him up with yeri for money, he couldn’t bring himself to feel bitter towards you. he knew he should have. considering the amount of pain he felt that night, and many nights after. but he really couldn’t. every time he tried, he would end up in a cycle of admiring your beauty and remembering just how charming and sweet your smile looked. how soft and angelic your voice would ring in his ears.

renjun should have hated you, but the hate always dissipated into stronger liking towards you.

“you drove y/n?” renjun hears a voice next to him, breaking him out of his thoughts. he looks up and finds jeno smiling at him, his hair messy as he undoubtedly rushed to get ready. jeno places himself next to renjun, waiting on an answer.

renjun nods his head in the end, “yeah, she said she texted you but you didn’t answer.”

jeno yawns before letting out a low chuckle, “yeah, sorry about that. i slept in again today.” jeno leans back into his seat, eyeing renjun, “thanks for taking her and offering her rides. i don’t mean to sleep in or anything, i tend to forget i have classes until last minute when i’m panicking to get ready.”

renjun laughs, shaking his head at jeno, “not a problem, really. she keeps great company, as always.”

jeno nods his head, “she does, yeah.” jeno pauses before letting out a laugh of his own, “a bit of a brat, but she’s a great friend.”

renjun nods this time, licking his lips in thought. he was suddenly aware again of you and jeno’s close friendship, making him slightly envious of jeno. “do you like her?” renjun couldn’t stop the question from flying out of his mouth, and renjun quickly becomes embarrassed, eyes going wide and his ears turning slightly pink.

jeno raises an eyebrow at the boy next to him, “what?”

“sorry,” renjun looks away from jeno, eagerly flipping through pages of the book in front of him.

jeno laughs again, and it’s boisterous, making others look at him weirdly as he throws his head back in humor, “oh god, no.” he shakes his head, and renjun whips his head in jeno’s direction. “no, i don’t like her. she’s my best friend, and i’d like to keep it that way.” jeno crosses his arms, yawning again like what he said wasn’t swimming in renjun’s head.

renjun couldn’t stop the feeling of excitement bubbling in his chest. he wasn’t sure why he was so happy to hear that, but he was. renjun wanted to believe he had a chance with you.

“oh,” renjun said quietly, not saying anything more and he boasted silently in his seat.

jeno was about to say something, before the professor began to talk and the lesson began finally. the whole hour, renjun’s mind was you, you, you.

as the course finished, renjun packs his things diligently, his thoughts still wrapped up in everything that you were. everything that made up who you were. renjun desperately wanted to get to know you better, know exactly who you were by the back of his hand the same way jeno did. he probably knew that wasn’t possible, but he could always dream.

“are you taking her home?” jeno breaks renjun away from his thoughts again.

renjun nods, “yeah, she said i could.”

jeno nods his own head this time, smiling at him, “that’s fine, tell her i said hey.” jeno waves as he walks towards his car when the two of them walk into the parking lot.

renjun makes his way towards his own car, patiently waiting by it as he searches around for you. his heart skips in his chest as he sees you bounce in a couple of your steps when you notice him standing there. he watches the smile stretch on your face, and he so wanted to kiss you at that very moment. renjun was surprised by his own thoughts, but shook them away as you approached him.

“hi,” you greeted him, “did you see jeno?”

renjun nods, “yeah, he sat next to me. we talked a bit before class started and after. he said i could take you home.”

you smile at him again, your grin making renjun feel light, “great, i like your driving a bit better anyway.”

renjun laughs at that, looking at you with kind eyes, “you do?”

“yeah,” you shrug, making way to the passenger side of the car, “it’s definitely safer. i mean, you saw him drive.”

“you just like picking on him,” renjun comments, but he’s smiling as the two of you climb into the car.

“maybe,” your smile reaches your eyes, and he takes in the sight in front of him. you seated in his car next to him, a beautiful grin taking over your features. you were so lovely in his eyes. he watches you buckle, him doing the same. as he places the keys in the ignition, he hears the car roar to life and he takes one last look at you before putting the car in reverse and pulling out.

“i figured,” renjun replies after a bit with a shake of his head. “jeno told me to tell you he said hey, by the way.”

you chuckle, “of course he did.”

“he really cares for you,” renjun looks over at you for just a split second, seeing your small smile.

you gaze over at renjun, seeing the way his jaw tightens when you stare for too long, “i know. he’s the closest thing i have to a brother.”

renjun nods, “your friendship seems strong.”

“it is,” you pause, “do you have any friends like that?”

renjun stops for a few, and the car falls silent. “not really.” he shifts in his seat as he stops at a light, “i only really had yeri and her friends. i’m not too outgoing, per-say, and i didn’t grow up with anyone close.”

you start to feel guilt fill your bones as you remember breaking up him and yeri for money. it was selfish, and you were unaware of the pain you truly brought on others, until now. were you starting to care more and more for renjun? you weren’t exactly sure, but you knew you felt bad for the actions you caused.

“oh,” you say quietly, and you feel so small in your seat. renjun presses on the gas as the light turns green.

renjun shakes his head, waving you off, “don’t feel bad, or anything. i kind of knew me and yeri wouldn’t last forever.. we just simply weren’t compatible enough.”

“do you miss her?” you find yourself asking, and you curse yourself for being so personal.

renjun pauses again, “sometimes.” he admits, and you feel the air turn tense. “but i think i don’t actually miss her. i miss the feeling she gave me.”

you nod, “i get that.”

“she was my first love, you know.” renjun looks at you with a small smile for just half a second, “i’m sure everyone knew about us. she was quite popular among everyone, but i wasn’t.” renjun unknowingly opens his heart to you, “she took me under her wing in the beginning of high school, and i fell in love with her over the years of knowing her.. she was the closest thing i’ve ever really had to a best friend, or anything.”

you feel your heart ache for him, and you can’t stop yourself from clutching onto the one hand that was resting on the gear shift. renjun jumps in his seat as he feels your warm hand enclose around his cold one. renjun’s hand was surprisingly larger than yours, despite it being dainty and frail. you liked the feel of his hand in yours, and he definitely thought the same thing. renjun could hear and feel his heart beating right out of his chest.

“well,” you gulp, looking at the side of his face he desperately tries to focus on the road in front of him, pulling into your apartment complex area, “you have me now. if you want to be friends.”

he wants to be more.

renjun feels his heart shatter as he has to let go of your hand to place the car in park. he immediately misses the feeling of your smaller hand in his own, and he curses his car for ruining such a special moment for him. all his frustrations seem to fade away, though, when he looks back into your eyes. you were so sincere, so soft. you were nothing how he imagined when he first met you. he figured you would be someone heartless, selfish, overbearing. but you were so much the opposite of that. maybe he was blinded by the feeling of trust in his heart, but he really didn’t care even if he was. you were so captivating to him, and he couldn’t seem to get enough just yet.

not quite yet.

“i want to be friends,” renjun confirms, looking at you hopefully. he wants to kiss you, show you he wants more, but he goes against it. and he doesn’t catch the way you stare at him for just a bit longer, or the way your eyes linger on his lips. he was too engrossed in his thoughts to notice.

you smile, and it’s so sweet and kind that it makes renjun almost shiver, “good, me too.” you gather your bag, shooting him a beautiful grin that has renjun swooning again in his seat, “thank you again for driving me. i can send gas money or-”

“no,” renjun interjects quickly, “no need. i’m glad to drive you.” and he really does mean it. any chance he can get to be around you, he’s sure he’ll take it.

you nod, pausing to look at him for a bit longer, before opening the door and going to step out, “you’re sweet. it means a lot.” renjun grins from ear to ear, and you find it quite cute. “i’ll talk to you later, alright?”

renjun nods his head, “alright.” he watches as you shut the door behind you as you climb out, and renjun doesn’t make a move to leave until he sees you made it in safe. when you walk into your apartment, renjun lets out a long breath of relief and slams his head onto his steering wheel.

he was so, so fucked.

renjun really isn’t sure how he came about this.

his thoughts were running mindlessly, and he ended up finding his hand around his cock, stroking slowly. at first, he wasn’t thinking of anything in particular, just enjoying the feeling his hand gave him as he feels his stomach tense up every now and then. it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, but what was unfamiliar was the fact that his mind ended up drifting towards you.

he started to see your smile and how pretty you looked in the mornings. he actually got to take you to college a few more times after the first, and each time he ended up admiring your beauty more and more. you were becoming ethereal to him. how could you possibly be real?

as renjun moves his hand quicker, he can hear the slick his precum created as he spread it along his tip and down his shaft. he gasped, imagining your tiny hand wrapped around his cock instead of his own. he tightened the grip on his base as he started pumping a bit faster, his thumb swiping over his head each time he reached to the top. his hand was becoming sloppier and sloppier, and he couldn’t stop the raise of his hips as he felt his release come closer and closer.

“fuck,” he shudders, imagining you possibly asking if you can take his cock in your mouth, suck him off prettily. he imagines the way spit would trail down the sides of your mouth and chin and down onto his cock, his hips raising up to gag you. he imagines his hand in your hair, easing you into it and telling you how good you’re being for him. he would ask if he can fuck your mouth, and he’d love the shine in your eyes as you nod and take what he gives you.

he just knows you’d be absolutely breathtaking and such a good girl for him.

renjun feels his balls tense up as the thought of having you so close and intimate with him. he wants to kiss you, feel your breath on his neck as he fucks into you, make you cum and see how you’d react to his touches. he’s never thought of anyone this way, not even yeri. he’s never touched himself to the thought of someone.

he sighs, a shaky breath of air leaving him as he sinks deeper into his mattress, his knees raising up as his heels dig into the sheets. “holy.. shit.” he moans helplessly as he starts to rapidly pump his cock, thoughts of you bouncing around his mind. he can’t stop himself from raising his hips again in time with his hand on his member. he feels hot and heavy, eyes closing shut and eyebrows furrowing.

“fuck fuck fuck,” he rushes out, trying so hard not to make much noise. it wasn’t like he had roommates or anything, he just didn’t exactly like being vocal. then he starts to imagine the sweet sounds he would be able to pull out of you, and he feels himself lose control of his impending orgasm. he feels his hot, white seed shoot out and onto his stomach. renjun pants heavily, trying hard to come down quickly but still shivering as he rides out his orgasm.

renjun feels weak and light as he plops back down into his bed, glowing from cumming so hard. he lays his legs back down, before groaning as he feels his cum start to stick to him. he rushes to get up, grabbing wipes that he kept in his drawer and easily cleans himself up, a hum leaving his throat as he throws away the dirty wipe.

when he’s done and fully dressed again, renjun sighs deep into the air of his quiet room. did he really just get off to the thought of you? he feels guilt sink into his bones, a sudden shyness overcoming him at the thought of having to face you again after literally jerking off while thinking of you.

renjun rolls over onto his side, grabbing his covers and bundling himself up.

if he thought he was in trouble before, he was really in hell now.

“are you alright?” your voice broke through the once silent air, and renjun jumps in surprise. you pout, looking at him curiously. “what’s wrong?”

renjun shakes his head, looking at you for only half a second. he can’t tell you he jerked off to the thought of you a couple nights ago, it would just be plain out weird. “nothing, just a bit tired, i guess.” renjun stretches his limbs out of nerves.

you nod your head, “wanna get coffee?” you ask, eyes glowing under the sun in the cold weather.

renjun nods, “sure.”

you weren’t actually going to class or anything. in fact, it was the weekend. renjun had actually asked to hang out, much to your surprise. you remember going wide eyed at the text, silently freaking out on the inside as you replied to him, telling him you would love to. you didn’t think it was like renjun to act so boldly, but you weren’t really complaining or thinking too much into it. you were starting to like his company anyway.

renjun starts the car back up again after sitting in your driveway for some time, trying to decide what to do. you had only giggled when he told you that he didn’t really have anything planned, and told him to turn the car off while the two of you figured it out. that was when you noticed him spacing out and asked if he was alright.

“have you been working at the diner?” renjun asks casually, sparking up a conversation.

you nod, “yeah, i had a shift yesterday with jeno. i always get shifts with him.”

“who plans the shifts?” renjun turns the wheel with one hand, and you watch him closely from where you sat.

“jeno normally if his parents don’t,” you look at his hand that’s resting on the gear shift, “which is typically always.”

renjun nods his head, thoughtfully processing your words, “do you help him?”

“sometimes,” you shrug, “i’m normally always around him, but he tends to do the hard work himself.”

he hums, “wasn’t expecting that from jeno, in all honesty.” renjun chuckles, and you laugh along with him. his laugh was too pretty to ignore.

“me neither,” you can’t seem to pry your eyes away from renjun. he was handsome, too good looking for his own good. “but he’s actually really smart.”

“he is,” renjun agrees, “i see the way he works in class and when we’re doing our project. he’s actually really intelligent.. just a bit lazy, maybe.”

you laugh again, “he can be.” you pause, “do you work?”

he shakes his head, “i don’t.” renjun hesitates on continuing, “my parents are.. wealthy, i guess. they make sure to look after me.”

you nod, “that’s good. i’m sure it’s less stressful then?”

renjun shrugs, “it’s a bit boring, but i know i’m lucky to have what i got.”

everyone where you live are at least a little bit wealthy, if not stinking rich. you used to envy everyone who has caring enough parents to share their money, but you found you actually prefer doing things on your own without the help of your parents. sometimes you did wish they cared, though.

“we’re here,” renjun puts your thoughts to a stop as he parks the car at the cafe. you watch as he removes the keys from the ignition, giving you a sweet smile. renjun couldn’t stop himself from thinking about kissing you when you smiled back.

when the two of you order, you find yourself standing just a bit closer to renjun. he pays for your drink before you can object, and you give him a pout and a frown. renjun just smiles again, grinning like he won a prize. to your surprise, renjun ruffles your head and gazes cutely at you.

“hey!” you exclaim, looking at him with surprise and fake anger.

renjun shakes his head, laughing sweetly, “you’re too cute.”

you feel your body heating up in embarrassment, the words flowing out of his mouth too easily. his tone was adoring, and you actually ended up liking it. renjun’s playful side was growing onto you.

as you grab your drinks, renjun leads you back out into the car, “this was a bit boring.. sorry.”

you shake your head, “don’t be sorry. i’m actually having fun.” and you weren’t lying. you were really enjoying his presence.

“we can go back to my place, or something?” renjun suggests, giving you a curious look. “hang out there.”

you feel your stomach twist, “sure.. yeah, we can do that.”

“it’s alright if-”

“i don’t mind,” you quickly interrupt, “i want to. i wanna see what the inside of your apartment looks like.”

renjun nods, before reversing and driving off. he drives with ease, and you wonder how he can look so good even while doing something so simple as driving. renjun could say the same thing about as you take a sip of your coffee. you were so stunning in renjun’s eyes, and he adored the way you blew on your hot coffee before taking a quick sip. it was endearing, and you barely did anything.

“do you live alone?” you ask.

“i do,” renjun confirms, “i have my own place.”

“do you live near your parents, or..?” you tilt your head in curiosity.

he shakes his head, “no, they don’t live around here. they’re about 4 hours northwest from here by car.”

“oh,” you aren’t sure of what to say, “do you see them often?” you felt as if you were prying too much, “sorry for all the questions, you don’t have to answer them all or anything.”

renjun laughs lightly, the sound a bit airy, “i don’t mind, and no, i don’t see them often. i get a call or text every now and then, though.”

you shift in your seat beside him, “at least they keep in touch, right?”

he nods, “yeah, i’m grateful for it.”

the car falls silent for a few minutes, and you’re not sure what else to talk about. but you find the silence to be more comfortable than not, and that relieves you. you take the time to admire the way his fingers tap against the steering wheel, the way his jaw ticks every so often to look around when he turns, the way he licks his lips every now and then. renjun was inviting, at the very least. and you liked the way he brought a soft touch of comfort around you. renjun could absolutely say the same about you.

renjun was consumed by you, once again. and he was suddenly aware of the fact that he was genuinely just hanging out with you, no professions in the way or jeno being there. as much as renjun liked jeno, he also really liked you. and he was truly happy to get to spend this kind of time with you. he was especially happy at the fact that you said you would hang out with him, and here you were. he wasn’t planning on wasting this time with you.

as renjun pulls into the parking garage of his apartment building, he sees the way you look around curiously. “this isn’t a normal apartment complex.” you hum in thought.

renjun chuckles out of embarrassment, “i live in a penthouse.”

your eyes go wide as you whip your head towards his direction, “what?!”

“yeah,” renjun says lowly, parking his car in his designated spot. “that’s why it’s excessively large.”

you sit back in your seat, whistling below your breath, “wow, that’s impressive.”

renjun rolls his eyes, “let’s go.” but there’s a small smile on his face, looking at you playfully.

your eyes beam as you eagerly jump out of the car, him following after you. he likes the excited look on your face as he leads you towards the inside, not without swiping his card key to get in, though. you watch in detail as he holds the door open for you, letting you go in first. you say a small ‘thank you’, and he simply smiles at you.

renjun finds his hand itching to hold yours as the two of you walk towards the elevators. but he stops himself from doing so, thinking it might be a bit too forward. you were just hanging out, and he really wasn’t expecting anything to come out of it.

“what floor are you on?” you ask while waiting for the elevator.

renjun messes with his hair a bit out of nerves, “twelfth.” he says gingerly, taking a look at you as your mouth flies open.

your eyes turn wide, “that’s so high.” you hear a ping as the elevator doors open and two people walk out with a sweet smile as you both walk in. you ease into the elevator as he presses his floor number, and inserts a key into the elevator. you hum in thought to yourself, remembering suddenly that he lives in an actual penthouse. how rich was he?

as renjun finally gets the key to work, leaning back with a satisfied smile. renjun finds himself admiring you as you both stand in the enclosed space. he may not have been just as close as he was to you in his car, but he was still close. you were looking curiously around the elevator, like you’ve never been in one before. and he actually found it quite endearing. your eyes were glossy and wide, the light reflecting onto them and making stars shine in your eyes. you were a sight for sore eyes.

as the elevator dings open again, you’re greeted with a large living space, making you lowly whistle, “wheww,” you start, “this is impressive as hell.” you look around, and find that his decorations are very minimal. his place doesn’t exactly have a home feeling, but you figured he just liked having a clean area.

renjun shuffles on his feet nervously, “thanks.” he sounded shy, almost, making you turn your head towards him.

“sorry,” you mutter out, looking around and walking towards the large windows that show the city below, “i’ve just never really been inside a penthouse before.”

renjun shakes his head, following after you and watching the people walk by, “don’t be sorry. i’m glad you like it.” he smiles.

you can’t stop the small grin that forms on your lips at the sight of him when you turn your head again to watch him look below, “i do like it.” you find yourself lingering your gaze on him, making his heart speed up as his eyes stare back into yours. it was a slow moment, maybe long awaited. but your eyes went down towards his lips for a brief second, and this time he caught you.

renjun feels his palms turning sweaty and his head becoming full. he’s not sure what to do, keeping his eyes on you and nervously scanning your expressions. you were breathtaking, and he couldn’t pry his eyes away from you. everything you did, he became enraptured by. you were captivating to him, and he couldn’t tear this moment to pieces. you were looking at him, and he found that to be enough.

“renjun,” you spoke his name, and he could feel his heart beating right out of his chest once again.

“yeah?” he gruffly asks, looking at you with expectant eyes.

you step closer to him, and renjun doesn’t move. he desperately wanted to know what you were thinking, what you were planning on doing. everything about this moment was overwhelming to him, and he found himself licking his lips unconsciously. your eyes flitter to his lips again, watching his tongue poke out to wet his lips. you weren’t exactly sure what you were thinking, or what he was thinking. but you had a sudden urge to kiss him. you shouldn’t feel this way, and maybe you shouldn’t even be at his place, but you kept playing with your heart instead of your head. renjun was doing the same.

when you stand in front of him, renjun can smell you and feel your warmth. you can feel the same, his cologne taking up your brain. you felt intoxicated, and renjun certainly felt the same.

“do you want to kiss me?” you tilt your head, refusing to close the distance between the two of you without asking first. you had to make sure you weren’t making this all up in your head. that he really wanted it, too.

renjun’s quick to nod his head, eager eyes looking into yours, “yeah, i really do.” his voice is low, barely above a whisper as he speaks into the silent air. you can both feel the tension pulling at one another.

you raise a hand, hesitantly pressing your palm to his cheek as your other hand goes to his hair. he can feel how cold your hands were, but he didn’t exactly care. you were so irresistibly close, and he had you alone for once. he had you to himself, and that was all he could really think about. you. you were his entire mind recently, and it drove him up the wall.

“you can put your hands on me,” you say softly, your nose almost touching his. renjun was suddenly aware of how close you were, looking into your eyes before flickering towards your lips. he could easily kiss you, close the distance and claim you for himself. but he doesn’t, waiting on you to give him the signal.

he places his hands on your waist, and you like the way his hands fit perfectly on you. you can’t find self control anymore, finally leaning in and crashing your lips onto his. renjun swears he’s in heaven, and your lips were so fucking soft. he kisses you slowly, trying not to seem too eager or rush into it too much. you can feel his fingertips dig into your skin with ease as you kiss him, and you like the way he fits so well against you. pressing your chest to his, tugging at the ends of his hair, holding his face in one of your palms. renjun could feel his world dissipate. you were turning into his world in a matter of seconds, in a matter of minutes.

kissing renjun was soft, caring, gentle. it wasn’t rough or aggressive or rushing. it was what every romantic wish they had. you eased into his hold more and more, the kiss turning a little more sloppy as you feel him swipe his tongue on your bottom lip. you grant him access, no doubt. renjun can feel your thumb stroking his cheek and your hands tighten in his hair as his tongue slides in your mouth. it wasn’t a clash of teeth and tongue, it was smooth and slow. renjun definitely knew how to kiss. he tasted of coffee, and you were sure you did, too. it wasn’t unpleasant, though. maybe it was because it was renjun, but you actually liked it.

renjun wraps his arms completely around your middle, tugging you closer and making you groan against his lips. renjun’s ears perk up at the sound, a smile making its way onto his face. you can feel the grin on his lips, making you pull apart and smile back at him. you giggle as he gives you a goofy look, his smile reaching his eyes. renjun found you so beautiful from where you stood, and he found you even more charming standing in his arms.

renjun’s lips were slightly puffy, a little bit pink and wet. you give him a quick peck, making renjun lean in further to kiss you again. you let him for the time being, before pulling apart and letting out a loud laugh, throwing your head back in glee. renjun admires you, feeling the vibrations in your chest rumble against his own from how close you were and how tight he was holding you. he liked being so close to you.

“i have to use the bathroom, renjun.” your voice was so pretty.

he nods his head, slowly letting you go and holding your hand, “i’ll show you where it is.”

you finally take the time to admire the whole entire place, eyes scanning around the rooms as he leads you up the stairs. it was plain, but beautiful. simplicity at its finest.

“down there, to the right,” renjun instructs, “i’ll be downstairs waiting.” renjun kisses you on the cheek, and you like the soft gesture.

as you finish using the bathroom, you feel a buzz in your back pocket. you frown as you see it’s jeno saying to call you quickly. “jeno?” you call him, and you hear him sigh on the other end.

“are you at renjun’s?” you can hear the hurried hush in his voice, making you furrow your eyebrows.

“yeah? i told you-”

“yeri placed a bet.” jeno pauses, and you can hear him rummaging around for something, “she placed a bet that renjun would fall in love with you within the next month after she broke up with him.”

you feel your heart sink, looking around and feeling your body tense up, “what the fuck?”

“not even the worst part,” you can hear jeno adjusting himself in his seat, “she said you would break his heart and he would come running back to her in the end.”

“so,” you clear your throat, trying your best to whisper, “she broke up with him for a bet?”

“seems that way.”

you don’t want renjun to find out. it would definitely shatter him, and take the both of you a million steps back. for fuck sake, you just finished eating his face. you huff, your head suddenly feeling full and heavy. how were you supposed to go about this? what the hell were you supposed to do?

“what the fuck am i gonna do?” you lean back against the sink, crossing one of your arms over your chest as you hold the phone close to your ear. “i just kissed him, jeno.”

“renjun?” jeno asks.

you roll your eyes, “no, jeno. someone else.” sarcasm drips from your tone, “yes, idiot! renjun!”

jeno scoffs, “don’t be rude.”

“how did you even find out?” you quickly look at the time, and realize you’ve been in the bathroom for way too long. “i have to go soon.”

jeno quickly answers, “heard her talking about it on campus the other day. i’ve been meaning to talk to you about it for a little while now, i just haven’t found the right time.”

“and right now was?” you ask incredulously, “look, i have to go. i’ll talk more after i leave.”

“okay, see you later.” jeno hangs up, and you run a hand over your face.

you quickly walk out, heading down the stairs and seeing renjun on the couch, phone in hand. you could feel your nerves run high again at the sight of him, and you were suddenly aware of how your friendship took a fast turn. you were happy of the situation not too long ago, and now you were cursing yourself for letting yeri start to win her little bet. it was unknown to you previously, but you hated that you unknowingly were letting her win. she doesn’t deserve renjun. but did you?

“hey, i was starting to get worried,” renjun greeted you, and you let out an airy laugh, faking it.

“i’m fine, i was just trying to make myself more presentable.” you watch as renjun gets up from his seat, walking towards you. you almost think he’s going to kiss you again, but he doesn’t. and you’re relieved, in an odd way. you really weren’t sure how to deal with all of this.

“you always look pretty,” he compliments.

you feel yourself melt, despite the circumstances that he was unaware of, “thank you, renjun.”

he nods, a bright smile on his face once again, “of course, i mean it.”

you’re suddenly aware of the time, shuffling on your feet, “i should probably head home now. i have another quiz i should be studying for.”

renjun nods his head, placing his hands in his pockets, “let’s get you home, then.”

you’re grateful for the ride back, but all you can really think of the whole time was there was a bet being placed over renjun’s head that he was terribly unaware of. but you knew. and you were incredibly unsure how you would even begin to explain something like that.

what the hell were you supposed to do?

your eyes were frantic, looking around the room as your eyes land onto a specific female. you could feel the anger in your bones as you approached where she sat at the cafe on campus. you desperately wanted to rip her a new one, but decided against it due to the public setting. you still cared about your education, despite being extremely upset.

you see as yeri’s eyes shoot up with a surprised look when you slam your hand onto the table in front of her. sliding the money towards her, you give her a sharp look, “take your fucking money back.”

yeri scoffs, “what are you on about?”

“i don’t need your dirty money, yeri.” you were seething, seeing red as you remove your hand from the table, the money now on her side.

yeri looks between you and the money, before raising an eyebrow, “i don’t need it either. you probably need it more than me anyway.”

you want to shout at her, call her a horrible person and give her all of your anger. but the longer you stood, the more you were wondering if she was even worth wasting your energy on. you take a deep breath, trying to cool down and civilly handle this. it wasn’t in your plans to have a calm conversation with her, but it also wasn’t your plan to slap her. why were you feeling so defensive over renjun? you shouldn’t have. you were the one to accept the deal in the first place.

“you placed a bet between me and renjun,” you start, eyes narrowing, “i don’t like when people have my name in their mouths without me knowing.”

yeri’s quiet for a few moments, gather the pieces as she eyes the money in front of her. she rolls her eyes in the end, “you really know how to ruin the fun, don’t you?”

you scoff at her this time, “you’re fucking sick.”

“it was a harmless bet-”

“one that made you break up with renjun. it’s not harmless if it hurts someone. that’s when it becomes harmful,” you had vile seeping through your voice, “who the hell breaks up with someone for a bet?”

yeri sips her drink, “it’s not like he’s your boyfriend or anything. is he not?”

you snarl, “no, he’s not. but it doesn’t matter. you don’t do that to a person. what are you going to do when he finds out?”

she raises an eyebrow, “you’re telling him?” she watches as you roll your eyes at her, “i’ll tell him you’re lying. who’s he going to believe? someone he’s known for years, or someone he just met?” she tilts her head, looking you with a sinister smile. it makes you sick to your stomach just looking at her.

you stand in defeat, unable to really think of a reason why he wouldn’t believe her over you. you would like to think he would believe you, but you see the reality out of the situation above all. it was disheartening, and you hated how she was able to get away with it.

“you’re going to lose your bet,” you mutter.

“we’ll see.” she checks the time, before getting up with a smile. “i have to go, but take care of renjun while you have him. he’s a sweet guy.”

you want to hit her. scream at her and call her a sick person. but you don’t. you stand still, and let the reality of the situation sink in. you felt hopeless and lost. you weren’t sure where to go with all of this, and you wondered what else she had up her sleeve.

this was an unexpected turn in events.

“what the fuck do i do, jeno?” you groan, head in hands as you sit at his dining table.

jeno sips on his drink, handing you your own tea to comfort you, “that sounds like a fucked situation.”

you scoff, “didn’t notice, thanks.”

jeno licks his lips and rolls his eyes, “i don’t know, dude. i wasn’t expecting this kind of result, in all honesty.” he pauses, “is she still on for the bet?”

“i think so,” you raise your head to look at him, and he has a concerned look on his face. “i told her she’d lose and she said ‘we’ll see’.” you mock her voice, making jeno let out a chuckle.

“she might have something to make sure she does win,” he leans his chin in his hand, elbow on the table, “don’t know what, though.”

“i thought so, too.” you take a sip of the tea jeno made you. “thank you, by the way. for comforting me.”

he nods his head, smiling sweetly at you, “of course, anytime. i have to be there for you, don’t i? i think you’d throw a fit if i wasn’t.”

you hum, agreeing with him, “yeah, you’re right.”

he laughs, “i knew it.” there’s a pause before he continues talking, “just keep everything like normal. you like him, don’t you?”

you slowly nod your head, “i think so, yeah.”

jeno nods back, “then see where it goes. yeri shouldn’t have to control your love life, or renjun’s. it’s unfair and sick, to be honest.”

you lean back into your seat, hands on your mug of tea to warm you up, “i’ll try.” you say in a quiet voice, and jeno notices your uncertainty.

he press a hand to your shoulder, giving you big comforting eyes, “it’ll be alright. i’ve got your back if it all goes wrong.”

you realize that, even if it does go downhill, you’ll always have jeno right there to help pick everything back up. “thank you.” you were sincere.

he smiles brightly, “wow, i’m fucking great at this whole friendship thing.” jeno boasts in his seat, whistling lowly as if to admire himself.

you roll your eyes, taking a large drink of your tea, “you’re so annoying.”

“you wouldn’t have me any other way,” he grins, eyes sparkling at you.

“mhm,” you hum, and jeno laughs loudly.

although you were in a messy situation, jeno always managed to help make it just a bit lighter and easier. you didn’t have as many worries as before, and you were completely grateful for it. you could get stuck in your head at times, and jeno knew this. it was a given that he knew everything about you, and especially knew how to comfort you in dire times.

you decided by the end of the night, you were going to continue like normal with renjun. you really did like him, and you were going to be damned if you let yeri get in the way.

you’re not sure how everything moved so quickly and easily with renjun.

over the next two weeks after confronting yeri, you became closer and closer to renjun. of course, there was that underlying fear of losing him over something yeri might do to tarnish your ‘relationship’ with renjun, but it all floats out of your head the minute he kisses you. you feel guilty every time you head home, though. every night, you have a strong urge to call him, tell him everything. but you were selfish. selfish, and you didn’t want to let go of him just yet. you were holding too tightly onto him, and it slowly ate you up along the way. you were in danger when it came to renjun, but you never felt so safe around anyone else the way you did with him. you were truly lost.

“are we..” renjun gasps when you bite into the flesh of his neck, leaving his skin just lightly marked with your kisses, “are we moving too.. fast?” his voice fades when you run your fingers through his hair, kissing him on the lips again to hush him.

maybe you were moving too fast, sitting in his lap and kissing him like he was your air. but you really liked how warm he felt against you, how close he was. you were cherishing these types of moments with him, and you weren’t going to let him out of your grasp just yet. you liked kissing him, tasting the warm coffee on his tongue as he silently asks for permission to enter your mouth. he was a sensual kisser, never taking it a step further. you wanted more, though. you desperately wanted more.

“are we?” you lean back, seeing how his ears were slightly tinged pink, his lips swollen and spit trailing along them. you lick your own lips, waiting for his answer. you can feel the hands on your hips tighten, his eyes looking up at you with shine in them. he was absolutely gorgeous.

renjun clears his throat, “i don’t know..” he trails off, looking out the window for a brief second, pondering in his head. “do you think we are?” renjun shudders when you drag your nails along his scalp, and you grin at him coyly.

you shake your head, “no, but we won’t do anything you don’t want to.”

“we won’t do anything you don’t want to, either.” so polite. he was so respectful of you and your boundaries, making your heart pick up speed the longer you looked at him. he was making you nervous, but in a good way.

you don’t say anything else, leaning back down to kiss him again. this was something the both of you were familiar with, but you were growing restless. the moment you start to roll your hips down into his, he lets out a quiet gasp, opening his mouth wider for you. you smile, trailing your kisses down his jaw and neck again. renjun runs one of his hands down to your thigh, squeezing tightly and making you lightly whine into the junction of his neck.

you can feel his lips against your ear, “you’re so cute.” his voice was comforting, soft. he squeezes your thigh again, trailing his hand up more towards the direction of your core. you were wearing comfortable and loose shorts. he could easily slip his hand into the leg of the shorts and touch you. you feel his hand inch closer and closer until it rests on the inner part of your thigh.

you lean back again, panting as your eyes glaze over, “please?” you sound breathless already, and it makes renjun’s head spin.

“you want me to touch you?”

you nod.

renjun’s mouth quirks into a smirk, a soft chuckle leaving him, “you’re too cute.” he pauses, his thumb rubbing circles into your skin, so close to your heat. “take your shorts off.”

you’re quick to oblige, getting off his lap and slipping them off. you’re about to straddle him again, but then he stops you, turning you around before sitting you between his legs. you can feel how warm his chest is against your back, and you sink into his hold. renjun rests his head on your shoulder, placing a kiss there. you let out a shaky sigh when you feel his hands return to your thighs. he spreads you open more, opening his own legs so you sit comfortably. you can feel slick running down into your panties, the cold air making you shiver.

although renjun would love to hear you beg, he decides to save it for another day. he trails his hand close to your panties, playing around with the band before slipping his fingers inside to feel just how wet you are.

“renjun,” you whine out, your hands going to grasp onto his own thighs.

“you’re soaked, baby.” he kisses behind your ear before resting his chin on your shoulder, looking down to where he was touching you. you were so wet and slick, his fingers playing around your clit and circling around your entrance.

the little sound you let out at the nickname makes renjun lose his mind. you sounded so heavenly, even better than his fantasies. this was so much fucking better than anything he could ever even dream of.

“for you,” you gasp when he presses his fingers against your clit, rubbing you just light enough so you could feel it. it sends tingles down your spine.

“hm?” renjun tilts his head, looking at your face and making out the slight crinkle in your brows.

“wet for you,” you squirm in his hold, “only for you.”

renjun feels goosebumps raise on his skin at your words, the tone in your voice sounding needy and out of touch. “fuck.” he groans, pressing harder into your clit and rubbing quicker, making you let out a surprised yelp, straightening your back up and dropping your mouth open at the feeling. “you’re good for me, aren’t you?”

you nod your head as quickly as you could, pleasing renjun, “good for you. i’m good for you.” you whine, “please finger me, wanna be filled.”

renjun feels enchanted by you, completely under your spell as he trails his fingers towards your entrance once again, but this time not leaving space for teasing. he shoves two of his long, thin fingers inside of you, making a long moan leave your pretty lips. the way he curls them up as he sets a sweet pace makes you roll your head back onto his shoulder, eyes shutting closed. renjun feels your thighs start to tremble a bit, and his other hand makes work to hold onto one of your thighs, making sure you keep your legs open for him. he can feel his cock starting to twitch inside his pants, begging to be released by now. the noises you were making and the way you would buck your hips up into his hand were making him impossibly hard by now.

when renjun speeds up the pace of his fingers, you feel yourself start to crumble in his close hold, “so good, feels so good.” your sounds go right in his ear and straight to his groin. “fuck, renjun.”

“you like my fingers inside your pretty pussy, don’t you, baby?” he moves his head so he’s kissing and licking along your neck, making your nails dig deeper into the meat of his thighs. “i can feel just how tight and warm you are. been thinking about this for awhile now.”

his words were making you wetter and wetter, indefinitely soaking his fingers as he worked you towards your orgasm, “r- renjun. ohh, fuck.” your voice was a bit broken, little whines escaping you and growing louder as he started to ram his fingers in and out of you. you could hear just how slick you were with every curl of his fingers. when he moves his other hand to press against your swollen clit, you lose yourself in the hold of him. “g- gonna..”

“already?” he taunts you, biting into the flesh of your skin and making you gasp again, “such a sensitive baby. you wanna cum on my fingers? coat them in your cum and make a mess?”

you nod, desperate to have a taste of euphoria, “please, please. wanna cum on your fingers, wanna cum for you.”

“you’ve been good, haven’t you, princess?” he asks, pressing harder into your clit as a warning when all he gets back is a long moan. “answer me.”

“yes, yes. i’ve been so good for you, renjun. please let me cum, please.” you sounded meek, small, cute. he couldn’t seem to deny you any longer, he was just too enamored by you.

“cum for me, baby. my messy, pretty girl.”

at his command, you arch your back away from his chest, your shirt sticking to your sweaty skin as you fall apart in his hold. he can feel the fluttering of your walls as you cum, the cries of his name slipping so beautifully from your throat and into the air. you smell so sweet, like apricots and honey and he can’t get enough of you, he decides. renjun rides out your high, watching the way you buck into his hand every now and then, trying to prolong the feeling for as long as you can. he finds you irresistible, absolutely stunning as you come down from your high.

“my good girl,” he leaves praising kisses and words into your skin, making your head feel light as you gasp for air. when he slips his fingers out of you, you grab his wrist quickly to place his fingers into your mouth, moaning at the taste of yourself. “holy fuck.” he breathes, watching as you swirl your tongue around his fingers. “you’re dirty, aren’t you, baby? you just love being filled whole.”

you nod, humming around his fingers. when he slides them out of your mouth, he’s quick to grab your face in his hands and kiss you eagerly. his tongue greedily invades your mouth, much to your pleasure. he can taste you on your own tongue, making him groan. you were as sweet as he imagined, maybe even sweeter.

“i really like you,” he mutters against your lips, making you giggle breathlessly.

“i really like you, too.” you stare into his eyes, before lightly biting your lip, “do you want me to jerk you off? i can feel your boner poking my ass.”

renjun lets out a loud laugh, throwing his head back, “if you want, but you don’t-”

you shake your head, already moving to sit beside him and unbuckling his pants, “i want to touch you. you made me feel good, i wanna make you feel good, too.”

renjun turns serious suddenly, reaching up to place a hand on your cheek and rubbing his thumb in circular motions, “you’re just too precious, too good for me.”

you shake your head, a smile gracing your lips as he drops his hand back to his side. he watches as you quickly pull him out of his pants and boxers, making you lick your lips. he was a lot thicker and a lot longer than you thought he would be. he looked so dainty, but he was definitely packing.

when your hand encases around his girth, renjun relaxes against the back of the couch, hands flat against the sofa. he watches your hand intently as you start to stroke him slowly. he sighs, mouth slightly agape. he likes the way your hand feels so small compared to his own, making you grasp him just a bit tighter. he shudders when you rub your thumb along his tip, collecting his precum that started to leak out. when you lean down and spit onto his length, he lets out a throaty groan at the action. it felt so messy, but so good. he could hear it become more slick along his dick, he could feel it.

when you sped up the pace of your hand, he gasps, “fuck.” he shifts in his seat, his fingers starting to dig into the fabric of the couch. even if it was just your hand, it still felt so good for him. everything you did in general set him off, so he wasn’t surprised by the sensitivity he got from just the jerk of your hand.

the groans he let out were so heavenly and rung in your ears, you desperately wanted to make him cum, watch him fall apart the same he did to you. with every stroke of your hand, you would thumb at his tip and swipe over it. you could hear the wetness on his cock, making you unconsciously press your thighs together in your seat. renjun caught the act, making him look over at you and tear his eyes away from your small hand on his member. his eyes were dark, eyeing you specifically and taking in your figure beside him. you were so close to him, he could almost feel your breath on his neck. when he raises his hips up in time with your hand, you let out a little whine. he smirks over at you, tilting his head mockingly.

“you like watching me fuck your fist?” he questions, watching you rub your thighs together again. he laughs breathily, thrusting up again and again until he created an easy pace. he could feel himself starting to build up to his orgasm, incredibly sensitive from being hard for a good bit of time before getting his own release. he could almost taste it for how close he was.

“wanna make you cum,” you look at him eagerly, licking your lips and leaning closer to his face.

renjun leans in, pressing his lips to yours hungrily, and it’s nothing like his previously soft kisses. this one is more aggressive, more demanding. and it makes you ache, desperately wanting him to fill you and feel close to him. you were so close to begging for him.

“wanna ride me, baby?” he asks, pulling apart from you and watching you closely. it wasn’t like you to immediately hook up with someone after only knowing them for a short amount of time, but you were trusting of renjun. too trusting, maybe.

“please?” you run your thumb along his slit, making him groan, “you can fill me up, too. fill me with your cum.”

renjun growls at that, shoving your hand away and eagerly pulling you on top of him. he’s quick to remove your shirt and snap your bra off, feeling it fall down your shoulders as he throws it onto the floor. he sees you bare, the only thing on you are your panties. you whine and tug at his shirt, making him chuckle with a shake of his head as he takes it off for you. you run your hands smoothly down his chest, before resting them on his shoulders and raising yourself up. renjun grabs hold of his dick, lining himself up with your entrance and pushing your panties to the side.

“are you sure?” he asks, looking at you cautiously, his lust driven eyes disappearing. you only let out a quiet whine and a nod of your head before sinking down on him without warning. he gasps, hands immediately clutching onto your hips as tightly as he could. “jesus fuck, you’re so.. tight.” he groans, your heat engulfing him whole. he can feel his whole entire body heating up, feeling as you take him.

you start to move almost instantly, “so.. so full. feel so full.” you stutter, nails digging into the skin of his shoulders, surely leaving marks there. “your cock feels so good inside me, renjun.”

“yeah?” he asks, looking at you with dark and heavy eyes, “you like my cock fucking you open?” he takes you by surprise when he thrusts his hips upwards, “you’re so wet and tight. i can feel your little cunt gripping me.”

you whimper and whine at his words, starting to claw at his skin as you ride him more eagerly, his cock dragging along your walls so deliciously, “renjun, fuck.. renjun.”

“i love the way you say my name, baby.” he stills your hips, making you whine again desperately, “don’t worry, princess. i’m gonna fuck you.”

and that he does. his fingers are digging so harshly into your skin as he starts to fuck into you with abandon, your mouth hanging open and your eyes rolling into the back of your head. he watches the way you throw your head back, his cock stretching you out and hitting just the right spot with each stroke. he feels pride swell in his chest from having you fall apart from just his cock alone. he quickly reaches a hand down to your clit, though, wanting you to feel as good as possible. he feels the way your walls flutter around his cock, tightening even more and making him hiss at the feeling.

“gonna cum on my cock, baby?” he licks his lips, watching as you nod your head and let out more stutters of his name. “i wanna feel you cum all over my dick, coat my cock in your cum. you deserve it, baby. you deserve to cum. you’ve been such a good girl, my good little princess.”

you cry out a choked sob, leaning down and resting your head in his neck, “g- gonna.. fuck.. gonna cum, renjun.” your walls were clamping so tightly around him, sputtering around his cock and making his thrusts start to stutter and become sloppier. he could feel the fabric of your panties rub against his cock with each thrust, making him groan. you could tell he was just as close as you, and you bite down onto his shoulder as your hands trail back to his hair. you tug at the strands, your nails digging into his scalp while his own dig into the flesh of your hips. it all feels so good, and you were so, so close.

“cum, baby. cum all over my cock. show me how good you are.”

with one last press of his fingers against your clit and one last hard thrust into your cunt, you fall apart. your pussy was sporadically clenching around him, triggering his release right after yours. the feeling of his cum filling you up makes you shudder, a shiver running down your spine as he trails a hand along your back, riding out your highs together. you buck your hips into him as you come down, letting out a soft whine. you feel so good, so light and comfortable in his arms. renjun holds you close, wrapping both of his arms around you and pressing your chest against his.

he found himself lucky that night, holding you as close as possible. when he cleaned the both of you up and gave you some of his clothes, he grins to himself. you were wearing his clothes this time.

“why are you staring like that?” you scrunch your nose up, looking at him weirdly.

he shakes his head, walking towards you where you lay on his bed and hovering above you. he presses his lips to yours, “you’re wearing my clothes. it’s cute.”

you can’t stop from placing your hands on his cheeks, watching as his hair falls and frames his face, “they’re cozy.”

renjun places himself next to you, quickly reaching out for you and holding you close to him, “you’re cozy.” he mutters tiredly, letting out a soft yawn.

you shake your head with a soft giggle, pressing a kiss to his nose before snuggling into him and letting him drift off to sleep. it was so nice being so close to renjun, and you were starting to become terrified of losing this feeling. you were unsure of what the future were to bring, but you only hoped it wasn’t bad.

if only you weren’t so naive.

you could feel your heart drop right down into your stomach as you stood there. in your work clothes, eyes wide, body temperature turning cold. you felt frustrations rise, and your mind started to run a million miles per hour. a lump formed in your throat as you watch renjun talk to yeri on the sidewalk in front of your work. he was quite a few feet away, so you assumed neither of them saw you. but you soon realized you were wrong. yeri knew you were looking, and the thought itself made you sick.

you stand at the entrance doors of your work, seeing the sickeningly sweet smile on yeri’s face as she exchanges words with renjun. you had no idea what she was saying to him, nor did you know why they both were there. but you hated the mere thought of him being near her now, and you especially hated that she possibly had a greater advantage to the situation.

“hey, you okay?” you hear a familiar voice, making you whip your head for a split second and see a certain dark haired boy.

“yeri’s talking to renjun,” you say simply, and you see the shock on jeno’s face before he looks in the direction you can’t seem to take your eyes off of.

“oh shit,” he mumbles under his breath, and the sound doesn’t ease your mind in the slightest. “do you know why?”

you shake your head, “no. i was just about to head inside before i saw them on the sidewalk talking.”

jeno shifts where he stands, “i don’t know what they’re talking about, and neither do you. but we can’t just assume it’s completely bad and what we think it’s about, alright?” jeno moves to unlock the diner doors, pulling out his key, “don’t mention it to him, or anything. not until if he’s ready.”

you reluctantly look away and start to head inside before renjun catches you staring, “right..”

“renjun didn’t seem to look very interested in what she had to say anyway,” jeno snorts out a laugh, and you appreciate the mood lightener he created.

you place a soft, small smile on your lips and try your hardest not to think of it. yeri could ruin everything between you and renjun so easily, and you’re starting to think she likes having that kind of power over you. you don’t think she would easily give that away, but you were also very unsure how she would play all of this out. it was only a matter of time before she came in and shattered the both of you and got her way, but you were hanging onto whatever you could. and maybe it was a toxic way of living, but you couldn’t seem to let go of him just yet. you were terrified of the ending, but you would do anything to keep him.

shaking your head, you start to organize the tables and wipe them down before customers start to roll in. and the shift went by quicker than you imagined, but your head still felt fuzzy and all over the place. jeno could obviously tell, but did his best to not bother you.

“if it’s bothering you this much, y/n,” he pauses, swallowing hard as he locks the diner doors behind the both of you, “maybe you should tell him everything. the bet, yeri, everything. i hate seeing you so stressed out, especially over a guy and some girl who is tearing you apart over some kind of blackmail bullshit.” he pauses, letting out a sigh, “i want what’s best for you. and i know that this,” he gestures with his hands, “isn’t what’s best for you.”

there’s a long, long pause after what he says. and you have nothing left in you to keep fighting, it seems. you want to make up excuse after excuse as to why you can’t tell him. and maybe you could come up with a few, but you knew for a fact that he was right. and it was earth shattering for you, having to come back down to reality after getting to spend so much time with renjun over the past month. you could feel your throat closing, eyes welling up under the soft streetlight.

“in the end,” he continues, “everything depends on you and how you handle it. i’m not you, and i can’t make your decisions for you. but i know i can be there for whatever you do choose. it’s obviously not an easy choice, and i won’t be able to blame you for whatever you do decide to do about this whole thing. it’s a huge shit show, if you ask me.” jeno scoffs bitterly. “but you’ll be alright. no matter what, you’ll be alright.”

you huff, unable to find it in yourself to respond as you start to consume yourself in your own thoughts. jeno bids you a soft and quick goodbye before heading his own way home and wishing you luck. you only nod your head and make your travels back to your apartment. it feels longer than usual, and you can hear your heart in beating in your head. nothing is how it used to be, and you start to realize you haven’t taken a break up job since renjun came into your life.

when you reach your apartment, you quickly change and sink into your bed. you were mixed in emotions. should you be angry? should you be crying? should you be frustrated? you weren’t sure. nothing was sure anymore, and the harsh reality of everything not being set in stone was crashing down on you. renjun wasn’t set in stone, and you could only have him for a certain amount of time before he leaves and yeri decides to take him away from you. there wasn’t exactly any winning here. even if he does believe you, he’s most likely to be hurt by the fact you kept everything from him for so long and never told him.

your heart sinks further, and you nuzzle deeper into your sheets.

“this is unfair, so fucking unfair.” you whisper in the night, in hopes someone is listening to your plea. but you know you’re alone, and you know this whole situation is all on you. you took the money, you agreed to yeri’s terms, you broke up renjun and yeri, you got closer and closer to him. you chose this. but it still didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less than it did.

you were starting to believe in unforeseen karma.

you haven’t left your apartment in days, it seemed. you took off shifts even and stayed home, much to jeno’s worry. you assured him that you were just preparing for the upcoming exams, and you weren’t exactly lying. but you knew that he knew that wasn’t the only reason for your seclusion. jeno didn’t pester or involve himself, which you were grateful for. you really needed time alone to figure yourself and everything out in the meantime. everything was all a mess, and you weren’t sure how you were going to fix it.

in the time you’ve spent alone, you’ve also seemed to make it a mission to avoid renjun. and although it was tearing you apart, you’ve done your best to focus on your studies. you felt like you were just going through the motions at this point. nothing made sense to you anymore. you heard renjun and jeno got an astounding grade on their project after turning it in just a bit earlier, and you were proud. but you had a hard time expressing it at the time.

when you hear a knock on your door, you immediately assume it’s jeno on his daily checkup to make sure you’re well fed and taking care of yourself. but when you open the door and feel the soft breeze created and see renjun standing there with a confused expression, you feel your heart drop into your stomach. suddenly, you were brought out of your trance-like state of going through the motions and brought right back down to reality. full force. one movement.

you let out a puff of air after realizing you were holding your breath. it was silent. you standing in your apartment doorway, and renjun on the other side in front of you. you stared, and he stared back. it felt like a movie, like everything was standing still and you were stuck in time together. his eyes had bags under them, and you assumed yours did, too. his eyebrows were furrowed, and yours were shot up on your forehead in surprise. you were quick to wipe the shock off your face, and he cleared his throat seconds later.

“you’ve been avoiding me.” he states this with his whole chest, and his confused expression doesn’t leave his face. you feel guilt deep in your bones staring at him. and he feels it.

“i’m sorry,” you croak out, prompting you to clear your own throat this time, “i’ve been trying to study and prepare for exams recently.”

renjun nods, pausing before responding back, “hopefully it’s not stressing you out, or anything.” he can feel the tension in the air, “but i know that’s not the only reason you’re avoiding me.”

you feel a lump in your throat at the statement. you can’t seem to find it in yourself to reply to him. and he knows this. and he can feel you starting to slip away from him again, and it terrifies him like no other. you avoiding him has been complete torture for him, and he hates the thought of you distancing yourself from him so soon. but that’s what frustrates you the most. you hate the thought of hurting him, but you can’t seem to win no matter what path you choose at this point. he was going to inevitably get hurt. and the thought alone made you tense up as he stood in your doorway, the cold breeze hitting the back of his neck as it started to become late fall.

“it’s cold, renjun. you should head home, or something.” you push him away again, and it makes his chest tighten.

“no, not until you tell me why you’re avoiding me.” it’s confusing on his end, because he was really starting to take a strong liking towards you. and he assumed you felt the same way, and he really thought everything was finally turning up on his end. you pushing him away hurt, it really fucking hurt.

you feel the lump in your throat get bigger, and you can’t seem to hold yourself back anymore. your head hurts from the amount of thinking you’ve had to do the past few days. your heart is aching from the thought of hurting him for the second time, the first being breaking him up from yeri. you were overwhelmed, and you were really starting to hate everything at this point. it was unfair, everything was just so unfair.

you move out of the way for renjun to come in, unable to see him stand there shivering anymore. he accepts the invite silently, the warmth of your apartment consuming him. he realizes soon that the place smells exactly like you, and he likes it. it’s comforting, and feels completely safe.

“i saw you talking to yeri,” you start, and renjun whips his head in your direction from where you stand. he’s about to interject, before you raise a hand and continue, “and, no, that’s not why i was avoiding you.” you shift in your spot, starting to feel uncomfortable and heavy. “you don’t deserve the hurt you’ve been through, and you certainly don’t deserve anymore hurt.”

it felt like a breakup. all over again, this felt like a breakup.

“and i hate the thought of hurting you again, but i think i might be doing just that.” again. you said again. “i don’t know what you know, and what you don’t know. and i’m not even sure how to approach a situation like this, but i can’t keep acting like i don’t know. and i can’t keep holding things from you.” you pause, taking a breath, “i shouldn’t have kept anything from you in the first place.”

renjun feels like he’s being poured in cold water as his blood runs cold from where he stands.

“yeri placed a bet on you. and i was completely selfish in trying to keep it from you just to keep you to myself for a bit longer.”

renjun was the game, once again. he can’t seem to speak, or even move. he felt frozen. he wanted to ask you so many questions, he wanted to know so many things. but he couldn’t bring it in himself to just ask. he couldn’t bring it in himself to just move, to just speak, to just figure out what everything even meant at this point.

“the bet. you were supposed to fall in love with me within a month, and she bet that i would end up breaking your heart and you would go back running to her.”

how was any of this real? renjun could finally feel his body starting to feel again, and he could only really feel the anger bubbling in his chest and up his throat.

“why did you keep it from me?” he asks simply, but his mind was raging. he could feel his body turning hot.

“i wasn’t sure you would believe me. it was either her, or me. and i always assumed you would believe her over me.” you pause, throat starting to close up on you, “i wanted you for just a bit longer, and i realize just how selfish it all is now.”

he understands your reasoning, but he hates that you lied to him. he put so much effort into you, but he still feels betrayed. “how long did you know about it?”

the dreadful question, the one that was expected but was still disheartening to hear nonetheless. “three weeks now, almost four.”

everything sinks in for renjun, and he just wishes you would have told him sooner. he wishes he didn’t feel the way he did that very moment. he wishes he wasn’t as angered as he was, wishes he didn’t feel as betrayed as he did. he understands your reason, but it definitely didn’t seem to be enough to forgive you and let it all go. you had three previous weeks to tell him, but didn’t. and the thought alone made him feel sick. he could hear his heart in his head, a headache starting to form. he felt hurt. he was hurt.

renjun, once again, couldn’t find it in himself to talk. but he could move this time, and he chose to go rushing towards your front door. nothing made sense. he couldn’t seem to grasp exactly how he felt, but he knew he had to get out of there one way or another.

“i’m sorry won’t fix anything, but i am sorry. i shouldn’t have let her win.” you quickly let out as he reaches the handle.

“but she did, didn’t she?” and that was it, before renjun went rushing out of your door so abruptly. you didn’t blame him. you couldn’t blame him.

you shouldn’t be crying. you shouldn’t have cried as much as you did that night, but you did. you shouldn’t have kept it from him for so long, but you did. you shouldn’t have gotten so dangerously close to him, but you did.

you soon realize, developing a relationship with someone you tore apart is dangerous.

renjun hasn’t spoken to you in two weeks. and you hate that this is probably, most definitely the end. and you hate the way it all ended, and you soon realize there were so many things you could have done differently, but didn’t. the timing never seemed right with him, and the way he came into your life was so sudden. if in another universe where you played your cards right with him, you assume you’re living happily with him. in a universe where you didn’t meet him at such an odd time, under odd circumstances, you assume the two of you are happy. you hope so, at the very least.

jeno holds you on the nights you can barely stand, and he helps you through heartbreak. two weeks of crying didn’t go unnoticed by jeno, and he held you in the dark. he let you cry it out, he let you scream in his shoulder when you blamed yourself on the endless nights.

you shouldn’t have let yeri win, but you did.

even if renjun didn’t end up going back to her like she planned, she still got the satisfaction of you hurting him. and you were angered by the thought. but you weren’t only angry with her, you were definitely just as pissed with yourself as you were with her.

in the end, you quit your job of breaking other people up. it wasn’t ever supposed to be your responsibility to break other people up, and you know this now. you’ve gotten quite a few requests since renjun, but ignored them all and rejected them. the job quickly turned into hell after renjun, and you swore to never go back to it. fully burying it under was probably your best decision you’ve had in awhile.

jeno states that renjun hasn’t been in class for awhile, and on the days he does show up, he sits as far from everyone as he can. it breaks your heart all over again, and you once again start wishing you never hurt him in the first place.

you drowned yourself in studies as much as you could to distract yourself, but as exams come to an end, you find yourself right back in the empty hole you once were in before. the nights of overthinking and excessive crying never seemed to end, but you assumed you deserved it.

you lay in bed for the millionth time within those past two weeks, staring at your ceiling like usual. but, this time, you’re not crying. not as much, at least. it was edging on almost three weeks now since renjun left. and the pain didn’t lessen, but, in time, things did get easier. waking up didn’t feel as draining as it used to, crying became less and less frequent, and you were finally able to sleep a regular amount rather than sleeping too much or too little.

every night, everything about renjun seems to sink deep into your bones. he left an indent that was definitely not going to ever be forgotten. renjun gave you a lot before he left, and even after he left. and you wonder if renjun will ever forgive you along the way, but you know it’s not you choice. and you certainly don’t blame him if he never does.

you just hoped, one day, he would get his happy ending.

with you, or not, he deserved his happy ending.

as time goes on, you know you can’t turn back, no matter how much you may want to.

you hear a ringing from your phone, checking the caller and soon seeing it’s jeno, making a soft smile appear on your face. “hello?”

“hey, how’s my favorite person doing?” he says it sweetly, making you let out a quiet chuckle.

“getting by, how are you?” you get into a seating position, trying to focus more on the conversation. you appreciate the effort he puts into making sure you’re okay.

“i’m good, babe.” jeno pauses, before continuing, “i haven’t really had the chance to say it, but i’m sorry all of this happened to you and renjun.” you freeze in your spot, holding your breath as he hesitantly continues what he was saying, “i want you to know that, no matter what, i’ll be right by your side. i feel like i shouldn’t have mentioned the bet or anything. maybe things would be different.”

it’s true, maybe things would have been different. but would it have been a good different either way. you don’t think so. the timing was always going to be off, and it was in no way jeno’s fault. you were sure of that.

“i’m glad you told me. don’t think this is any of your fault, i made my own decisions. i did it all on my own.” you reply in a softer voice than usual, trying to reassure him.

“i shouldn’t have swayed you to keep it from hi-”

“jeno,” you interrupt, “i wouldn’t have told him, anyway. no matter what you may have said or done, i was definitely too scared to lose him either way. my actions bit myself in the ass in the end. it wasn’t your fault, and nothing you said swayed me.” you were being truthful, and you worried that he had been blaming himself for everything all this time. “i don’t think me and renjun were made to meet at the time we did.”

but you and renjun met by chance, and you made the decisions you did. there was no turning back. you don’t regret renjun, not by a long shot. time with him seemed to be too short. but you appreciate him and everything he gave you in time you got to be with him.

“i’m sorry anyway, y/n.” jeno says it softly, and hearing your name come from him felt so rare.

you smile sadly, even if he can’t see it, “i know, jeno. i know.” you look at the time, “we should get some rest now.”

“we should,” you imagine him nodding in agreement, “goodnight, babe.”

“goodnight, jeno.”

you hang up, but for once, you don’t feel completely empty. you can feel a small tear run down your cheek, but you’re unsure if it’s even because you’re sad anymore. you can’t keep spiraling yourself into self-pity. you may not have gotten the ending you wanted with renjun, but you needed to move on. one way or another, you needed to move on.

you sigh, laying back down and staring straight into your blank ceiling.

developing a relationship with someone you tore apart is dangerous. so dangerous.

but, not one second, do you regret growing close to renjun. you imagine that, under different circumstances, things would have ended differently. and you find that to be enough for you.

for the time being, this was enough for you.

with you, or without you, you hope renjun gets his happy ending.

with you. or without you.

a/n: IT’S FINISHEDDDD!!!!!!! OMFG wow can you believe it????? i can’t LOL uhhhh i hope you all liked it. i spent an extended amount of time on this one, and i hope it lived up to expectations. please send me positive feedback lol this one took forever and it’s my longest fic to ever exist as of now. thank you for reading if you did :] i really appreciate it and i hope everyone liked it :]

taglist: @peachjaem00​ , @mjlkau​

[bokutoslittlebird]

I’m Sorry

Alpha!Ushijima x Beta!f!reader x Alpha!Oikawa

Warnings: THIS IS A SEQUEL to Regrets, intention of suicide, suicidal thoughts and actions [overdose, cutting, falling], mentions of self harm [overdose and cutting], angst, pregnancy, bonding mention, I did not look up Argentina resident rules

The rain was heavy today.

You felt as if it was the universe’s way of saying it was sorry for you. The ride back to school would be in the pouring rain that matched the gloominess of your heart, only to enter a campus where nobody wanted anything to do with you. His scent was all over you; despite being a Beta, you could feel it. You had been claimed and nobody would dare try and claim Ushijima Wakatoshi’s mate, despite the fact you’re not his mate.

Sobbing did little to ease the ache in your chest, eyes blotched from the constant tears and your nose sniffling as you tried to wipe away snot with your sleeves. Your sleeves, not his sleeves of a jacket you stole. Reading stories of how an Alpha would bestow their mate clothing would always warm your heart, but sitting on a dirty busstop with nobody but the rain beside you, your heart felt cold.

“What are you doing?” Someone asked. Your head snapped up to see a brunet looking down at you, his attire telling you he was dressed to run. Running? In pouring rain? What an idiot. He was gorgeous, though, hair collecting silver droplets that seemed to only accentuate his features. Your eyes trail down to the black collar adorning his neck, hidden beneath the white and blue jacket he wore. He quirked an eyebrow, giving off a small chuckle. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,”

“More like an idiot running in rain. What’s up with that?” You sniffle, rubbing at your raw nose and cursing the timing. An Alpha coming on a claimed Beta alone — words don’t need to be spoken for the other man to know why you’re crying. But instead of running off, he sits next to you. “You’re gonna get me wet, weirdo,”

“Well if I sit too close, I’d get snot on me, so maybe I’d be better keeping my distance, anyways,” he shoots back, barely batting an eye. You just scoff, rolling your eyes.

“Someone seems to have a problem with me. I don’t even know who you are, stranger,” you give off a grin, trying to keep up the light tone.

“Well, you’re wearing a Shiratorizawa jacket and you stink like Ushiwaka, so can you blame me for being a bit of an ass?” He says, grinning. Though you were keeping a light tone, his words quickly reminded you of the position you’re in. Gloomy day, pouring rain, busstop. Looking back to the ground, you sigh heavily.

“Well, at least it’s the most interaction I’ve had all day. Ushijima’s got a stick up his ass and no funny bone in his body, so I suppose if this is my last interaction, it’s better than him,” you off handedly say. The man beside you quirks his eyebrow once more, your words settling into his brain before he’s leaning closer to you. His shadow moves towards you, making you jump back. “What are you doing?”

“You’re pregnant,” he flat out says. Before you can shoot anything back, his eyes get sad as he pulls himself back some more. “You’re going to kill yourself because he abandoned you?”

“How-” you sputter, tears springing to your eyes once more, “how did you-”

“You know if he’s abandoned you, another Alpha can take claim, right? You’re not worthless,”

“Easy for you to say. I’m a Beta with an Alpha’s bond mark. An Alpha that doesn’t even want to talk to me. My family and friends have turned their backs on me because it’s my fault. I wouldn’t expect an Alpha to understand the other party’s feelings,” you say, wiping away the tears. Despite trying to appear strong, your eyes are wet and there’s snot running down your face. “No Alpha wants Ushijima Wakatoshi’s leftovers. Don’t make me laugh,”

“Well, a cute little Beta would look better with a genuine smile then tears in their eyes, wouldn’t you agree?” He smiles, rubbing your cheek, but you slap away his hand.

“Stop patronizing me. You sound like a creepy old man. Who even are you?”

“Oh, I didn’t think I had to introduce myself. I’m Oikawa Tōru,” he smiles once more, a genuine smile, as he holds out his hand. “And if there’s someone who hates Ushiwaka more than you, it’s me,”

“[Y/N]. You’re from Seijoh, right?” You shake his hand, although it’s brisk. His nod confirms your suspicions. The captain of the team that never beat Ushijima’s team, but always aimed for the top. Ushijima also mentioned how talented Seijoh’s setter was, but you never expected to be sitting on a busstop next to the man himself. “Well, you’ve gotten my life story and told me you hate Ushijima, so I guess it’s time for you to go back to running in the rain,”

“Nah, I can’t,” he shrugs, but you look at him confused, waiting for him to continue. Eventually, you ask him why. “Well, I can’t leave someone in need alone. If I leave, you’ll still kill yourself. You’re hurting and I can’t just abandon you. I’m not like other Alphas, you know.” You know his reference is to only Ushijima, but it warms your stomach nonetheless, seeing someone actually be there for you.

“I’m sorry you had to meet me then. If you hadn’t stopped, we’d both be blissfully unaware of each other’s presence,” you say, letting a sob wrack your body before covering it with a cough. “Guess I’m the weirdo getting sick,”

“Still thinking there’s no other option, huh?”

“Well what do you expect? You’re the only person who hasn’t told me to face my consequences on my own and turned your back on me. There really is no reason for me to stay here, especially if I have to raise a child without a support system. I’m still in high school, what the fuck,” you huff, running your hand through your hair, looking up at the sky, noticing how the rain has eased up and the sky is brighter. “I’ll be out when it comes, but the fact of the matter is I’ll graduate pregnant, who wants to go through that? I’m basically a cheap slut in everybody’s eyes. I just wanted to feel needed by someone I admire and this is what it results in? The more I think about it the more I want to down a bottle of painkillers and never wake up.”

“If nobody is sticking up for you, then maybe they’re not your real friends. Fair weather friends, only there for good tea and sunny days. If there’s nobody there for you, reach out for help,”

“I don’t want to be a burden,”

“People who will help you willingly won’t see it that way. Me sitting here with you isn’t burdening me, and I haven’t turned from you. I know we just met, but I want to help you. There’s a lot to live for and one setback doesn’t deserve to sever that line before you’ve even gotten to the good part. Good people exist, you just need to find them,”

“‘Find them’? I thought I had, so what’s the point in trying to find more, only to be disappointed?”

“[Y/N], was it? I’m right here, you know,” he puts a hand on his chest, a smile on his lips and shining in his eyes. “I’ve seen you at your lowest and I’m still here. Find someone like me,”

“That’s sweet, but I doubt there are multiple Oikawas running around in the rain,” you sigh, looking back up. It’s almost time for the bus, but you have a feeling that if he’s still here, then he won’t let you leave. “Are you gonna sit there until my opinion changes?”

“They don’t change that easily, trust me,” he chuckles, but it lacks the merry behind it. Glancing at him, his eyes are downcast as he runs a thumb over his knee. “But I don’t want to see someone die over one thing. There’s a lot to live for, a lot to strive for, that’s why I keep moving even after all my failures. If someone kills themselves for one thing, something I don’t see as a reason to end, I wonder if it was deeper than what it was on the surface. Was it a quick way to feel numb for a while? Was it an easy solution? Sometimes the easiest path isn’t the right one. Surviving an attempt makes you realize things can change, but what if you didn’t survive? If you regret putting the blade to your skin or stepping off the ledge seconds after you do it or seconds before death? You can’t change it once it’s in motion.”

“I never.. I never thought about it like that,” you mutter, your hands holding each other, fingers twiddling. A brief meeting with a handsome Alpha suddenly put things in perspective. A laugh breaks you from your trance, his mouth behind his hand.

“If I see an opportunity to help, I’ll be there, but the fact is I can’t change your mind. I would like to put things in perspective and give you options, but that’s all I can do. If the reason you’re planning to end it all is because you have no friends, I can help with that. I’ll be your friend when nobody else gives you a chance.”

You mull it over, thinking of your options. In the end, the worst that could happen is you end up back on the bench, in the rain, ready to match to your death. “You know, I was told that if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is,” you mutter, but rifle through your jacket pockets for your phone. “Don’t make me regret second guessing myself, Oikawa Tōru. If you want to be my friend, I’ll take the hand extended to me,”

“Wonderful! And just in the nick of time, the bus is here,” he takes out his own phone, ready to swap numbers. As the bus pulls up to a stop, Oikawa waves at you as he pockets his phone, your contact information all piled inside. You really hope you don’t regret this decision, too.

In the few days that pass, you find yourself wondering how you could have possibly thought bad of Oikawa. He was sweet to you, introducing you to his friends (who knew about your predicament prior), with their promise they’d never turn their back. Iwaizumi was also an Alpha, but the other two were Betas. You did think it to be odd about how they seemed to willingly to help you, stay beside you, despite having no reason to. Their only reason was a promise to you. To Oikawa? Maybe, but you never asked him about it; if you did, he’d just shrug and give you a vague answer.

He promised to show you the light on a dark and gloomy evening, and he kept that promise. As your friends turned their backs on you, scoffing about how your decision will affect you for the rest of your life, Oikawa was there when you needed him the most. He was on standby all hours of the day and night, his phone always on and beside him. When your family turned you away, calling you out on your sudden friendship with another Alpha while carrying a child, they kicked you out and you had nowhere else to go, Oikawa was there. When you felt your world crumbling around you, feeling hopeless and desperate, picking up a secret stash of painkillers, Oikawa was there to talk to you. He didn’t actively take away the pills, but he sat on the other side of the door and talked to you, listened to you. Even his mom was there for you when your family and friends had left you, but Oikawa stood beside you through it all.

Then your world crumbled again.

“I’m planning on moving to Argentina,” he had said. You were looking into colleges to further your education when he had knocked on your door, his old sister’s room, sitting on the bed.

“You’re.. leaving?” You wanted to add to that sentence, but you didn’t want to seem clingy. He’s been with you for so much, you’re not entirely sure you can be independent without him.

“It’s been almost 6 months since you met me. I actually went on that run to decide if I wanted to study abroad in Argentina, but after meeting you, I decided to wait. I’ve been studying the language and keeping up with local volleyball communities, but my dream is over there,” he explains. You click your pen and set it down, ready to ask if you should leave his house, but he continues. “I wanted to know if you’d come with me.”

“Wh- What?”

“I’ve been putting in extra time so we can both move together, get a fresh start,” his face tints as he speaks, hand rubbing the back of his neck. “It seems a bit forward, now that I’m actually talking aloud about it. Sorry ‘bout that,” he chuckles, before clearing his throat.

“You want me.. to come with you?” You ask, unsure if you’re hearing correctly. He’s asking you to move to a new country with him, which is exciting! But, the baby.. “He is due soon, you know,”

“5 weeks, if I remember correctly,” he smiles, looking down at the large bump. You run a hand over it, solemnly nodding. “He’d be born in Argentina, our new home, if you come with me,”

“But Ushijima—”

“He’s abandoned you, officially. Your bond, it’s hardly noticeable anymore. The scent, I mean,” he corrects himself. “He’s basically just a sperm donor at this point,”

“This is.. very sudden, you know,”

“I know. And it’s also a very grand way of asking to court you, while also essentially marrying you, but I will say that if you choose to stay here, Iwa-chan will take care of you. He’s going to study in California for some amount of time, but that’s not for another few months. There is Mattsun and Makki, but I’m not too sure-”

“Okay, don’t stress yourself,” you giggle, getting him to stop. “I’ll go with you, but you gotta teach me the language,”

“I’ve been told I’m a great tutor, actually,”

“I believe it. Will the bond go away, or is it just the scent that’s gone?” He raises his brows at that.

“Ah, I guess you never took those classes. The bond is permanent, but another Alpha can lay claim on a mate that has been abandoned. I’d be honored to replace his bond with mine, but I’m sure you’ll need-”

“I’m ready,” you interrupt him. He sputters as he processes the words, but then smirks.

“Are you sure? I don’t plan on making mistakes, so you’ll be stuck with me, you know?”

“Tōru, I’ve been ready for a while now. Hope you don’t mind bonding me while I’m pregnant,” your hand once more rubs the large bump, settling on the top.

“It just means I’ll have to wait until it’s my turn to try,” he licks his lips, moving towards the door. The locking sound seals your fate, keeping others from interrupting your moment.

- Years Later

“Koichi, come back here!” you shout, weaving in between the crowds. Aiko is somehow still asleep on your shoulder as you chase your son through the crowd. He’s been dying to meet his favorite uncle for quite some time, so see as he’s the trainer for the Nationals team of Japan, Koichi ran once the match ended. A brief Q&A with the members of the team would happen exactly right after they left the stadium, which he knew because of his father’s position.

You finally come to a stop, grabbing Koichi’s collar as he struggles to get through the crowd. “I told you to not leave me, and what did you do? Uncle Iwa isn’t going to suddenly disappear. He’s been waiting for this day, too, you know?”

“But mama! I told him I’d be the first one!”

“That’s impossible. The paparazzi gets to him first, that’s how it works in Hollywood movies,” you joke, but you pick him up. You’re no professional athlete, but you do stay in shape to take care of two children. As soon as you pick him up, he’s shouting as he sees Iwaizumi, trying to talk to the reporters. He catches Koichi’s waving hand and decides to take a break, going towards where you are as the crowd parts.

“How is the Oikawa family doing? I see Koichi is energetic,” he laughs, taking the boy from your arms.

“Ugh, as always. Don’t know where he gets it from, it’s not like his sister is bursting with energy all day,” you gesture to the child sleeping, despite the loud crowd.

“Well, definitely Oikawa’s kid. He sleeps through anything and so does she, jeez,” he sighs, but you just laugh. A few members of his team come over, excited by the new people.

“Iwa-chan, what’s this? Wife? Your kids?? You have kids???” A man with white and black hair says, giving Koichi a high five.

“Uh, no. They’re actually Oikawa’s wife and kids. I’m the favorite uncle, of course,”

“I wanna be the uncle! ‘Samu is never gonna get married, I need to be an amazing uncle somehow,” a man with platinum blond hair says, but he’s quickly pushed aside as a familiar face comes into view.

A face you didn’t want to see.

“[Y/N], I didn’t expect to see you here,” Ushijima says, tone as flat as ever. Iwaizumi takes on a forced smile as yours drops, a frown etched on.

“Didn’t expect to see you here either. Actually, ever again,”

“Oh?” The owlish man says, eyebrows quirked up as his eyes glance between the two of you.

“I see you moved on. I’m glad to see that,”

“No thanks to you,” the venom in your voice has Koichi turning to him, looking at the larger man with large eyes. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see the resemblance. He’s got the same hair color and eyes as the man in front of you, taking hardly any features from you. Not to mention, Koichi is showing signs of presenting as an Alpha.

“Darling, that’s where you were!” Oikawa shouts from over the crowd, them parting so he can mingle with the group around you. “I was wondering where my personal cheerleaders went to,” he smiles, pressing a kiss to your forehead. His eyes meet Ushijima’s and despite being unable to smell the tension, you can feel it. Reporters and guests alike back away as the overwhelming tension of two Alphas clash.

“Oikawa,” Ushijima says. Oikawa just tilts his head, looking over his opponent.

“I thought you’d look more defeated after I wiped the court with your ass, but I’m more disappointed in that. Emotionless as ever, aren’t you, Ushiwaka?”

“No, I wouldn’t say that,” he says, then looks to you. “I’ve been meaning to say something to you, [Y/N],”

“Trust me, I don’t want to hear it. You’re too late, Wakatoshi. You’re much too late,” you say, before nodding at Iwaizumi. “I’m leaving,”

Despite turning to leave, Oikawa taking Koichi away from his uncle and new “uncles”, despite being in the middle of a loud crowd, you can hear him. It’s quiet, almost as if he knows the words are weightless, holding nothing after years of his abandonment. Despite Oikawa’s bond pulsing, your heart still yearns for the other man, what he could have given you and what he did to you. Despite all this, you’ve fantasized about hearing those words, yet they do nothing.

“I’m sorry.”

Author’s Note: I’m sorry this took forever to publish but I hope it was worth the wait! I didn’t keep track of time while writing this, so if something seems wrong just ignore it. I might come back and fix it later but probably not lol ; Argentina residency rules and citizenship requirements were not consulted for this, seeing as it only took up like one sentence, but I might change it if I look more into it of course.

[dissociativediscourse]

i’m sick as absolute fuck, had to get a fucking holter monitor (100% because y’all bitches are giving me heart attacks) and my shit hurts but anyway i’m sick of seeing the shittiest, most manipulative takes on the internet so i have to say something because you know i don’t like to play nice and you know i will absolutely speak nothing but my entire mind. if i can follow it. let’s see.

today we’re going to be talking about a simple prospect.

it’s called

“nuance”.

this should not be a hard concept to understand.

every action, every argument, pretty much everything, has little distinctions. has details. even if they’re emotionally charged, they have nuance. this means that

not everything is perfectly black and white. just about nothing is entirely, completely one way or the other.

This is because, especially when it comes to discourse of any kind, there are not JUST two radical extremes, which is many times what both sides want there to be. There is a sliding scale and a spectrum of thoughts, opinions, and points of view. WHETHER YOU LIKE IT, OR NOT.

this means that, yes, when you leave out details and push your personal, two-dimensional opinion that this thing is ALLLLLLL the way down the other side of the road and should be hated and shunned (just so that your own point of view is not at risk of being compromised, mind you)

✨ you are being manipulative!! ✨

and no, people are not radically in the opposite direction nor are they evil just because you disagree with them!! pretending that is true is… let me get my megaphone again…

MANIPULATIVE AND SEVERELY IMMATURE!!!

Let’s think about it this way. I’ll be using an example that will not be or represent any argument but its own, but that will represent a sliding scale of opinions based on it.

Opinions on vanilla ice cream.

I hate it. My favorite.

<—————————>

Notice the two opinions on either side of the far ends of this scale are extreme.

They’re not the only opinions that exist, though. If they did, things would be black and white. It’s either all bad or all good to someone. It can be your favorite flavor in the world, or you can be disgusted by it.

But this isn’t how people think, is it?

No, it’s not.

People have these lovely things, everyone has them, and they’re allowed to have them! They’re called

Opinions.

Any thought-out opinion is going to have some sort of nuance to it. If it doesn’t, especially with emotionally charged subjects, it may need to be explored or thought out more if you want to stay true to how you feel about it.

This means that despising this flavor of ice cream vs. having it as an absolute favorite isn’t the only option.

You can fit anywhere in the middle, or further than the stretches of the ends.

I don’t really like vanilla, but it doesn’t make me sick or anything.

I hate vanilla, and I hate everyone who likes it. They make me sick.

I like vanilla! It’s not my favorite for sure, I like strawberry better, but it’s pretty good!

I don’t really feel any sort of way about it. I don’t like it or dislike it.

I would eat it if it were put in front of me, but wouldn’t choose it on my own.

I don’t like the sourcing of vanilla beans. I like the flavor, but the way that it’s obtained isn’t something I’m okay with.

I’m allergic to vanilla. I don’t know if I like it or not.

I used to love vanilla ice cream, but one time I ate it and got really sick because of it. Not I can’t even look at it anymore.

These are all opinions, valid opinions, on this subject. It’s the same in many cases. So before you discourse, demonize someone, or say things that aren’t true, remember this:

Arguments aren’t black-and-white. You don’t have to be radically on side or the other. A good argument is a nuanced argument, and all points should be considered if you’re wanting to form a good argument.

This has been a post towards both internet discourse in general and syscourse.

I’m feeling like shit, so don’t count on me to respond to shitty arguments if they come up. I’m hoping not, considering that this is just advice on how things usually just are. Neutrally. This is how life is, many times, and if you take offense to it, you’re most likely not as mature as you think you are.

[eddieeatsass]

Can I request some reddie x gn!reader (like Richie, Eddie and the reader are in a poly relationship) watching a movie together? Thanks :)

I don’t really do reader inserts, but to give myself a writing challenge I decided to give this a go for you. I hope it’s not too much of a mess! I kept it short because this is new for me. Also you didn’t specify if you wanted it to be NSFW or not so I kept it PG. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~ “Move your fucking spaghetti legs-”

“Move your own legs you beanstalk, I’m barely taking up any room-”

“I’m already sitting like a pretzel just so we can all fit on this couch-”

You rolled your eyes at the bickering, unable to focus on the opening credits on the screen before you as Richie and Eddie talked over your head.

“I’ll move.” You started to stand up, intent on grabbing a few pillows and making yourself a comfy little nest on the ground, but you felt two arms encircle your waist before you could get very far.

“Nope, I’m sorry, that’s actually illegal.” Richie pulled you back down into the mess of limbs.

“It’s a simple solution to a simple problem, is what it is.” You argued, trying to twist yourself free but only getting a tighter grip in response.

“Just let them move, Rich.” Eddie tried.

“No, I refuse to admit that this couch isn’t big enough for the three of us.” Richie said stubbornly.

“It’s a borderline loveseat.” You pointed out.

“Keyword borderline!”

“Richieeeee.” Eddie whined. “We’re missing the movie.”

“You don’t even like Miss Congeniality.” Richie shot back.

“Yes he does.” You twisted in Richie’s arms to face him and his arms loosened just enough to allow you to move. “He doesn’t like Miss Congeniality 2.”

Eddie nodded from beside you, a stern look on his face.

“It’s a disappointing sequel.” He said seriously.

“Fine, but if they’re gonna sit on the ground then we’re all going to sit on the ground.”

Eddie twisted up his face in disgust, no doubt trying to figure out who the last one was to clean the living room and when it was done.

“You don’t have to sit on the ground, Eddie.” You reached a hand out and squeezed his reassuringly. His smile was tender and intimate, reserved just for you in that moment.

Richie’s gagging noise was enough to shatter that moment into several pieces.

“Ugh, love. It make-a me sick!” Richie was trying for an Italian accent but missed the mark by a few countries.

“You’re literally in a relationship with us.” You flicked Richie’s arm.

“Yeah, and I’m sick like, all the time.” He countered.

“That’s because of your poor hygiene skills and awful eating habits.” Eddie wrapped his arms around your chest and pulled you down so your head was resting in his lap, leaving your legs draped over Richie. The position was far more comfortable that you’d have expected.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Richie defended.

“I watched you eat a bag of three month old cheetos last week.” You called him out, earning a smirk of triumph from Eddie.

"I feel ganged up on." Richie declared.

"It's okay, we still love you." You poked Richie's thigh with your foot.

"Not sure why though..." Eddie teased. Richie pouted in response but Eddie was quick to lean forward and pull Richie into a kiss, disproving his words immediately.

The action was sweet, but it also resulted in you being bent in half between the two bodies. So with renewed determination you rolled forward, falling off their laps and on to the plush carpet below.

"We're gonna have to restart the movie." You stated, voice muffled into the carpet. Thankfully, you'd been the last one to clean it just a few days ago, so you could cozy up with the comfort of knowing it no longer housed any of the filth from the last month.

"Fine, we're running low on gummy bears anyway." Richie proved his point by turning the now empty bowl upside down, chewing happily on the last few.

Eddie grabbed the remote and began rewinding as Richie got up to replenish the snacks.

You popped up on your knees, turning your body to face Eddie. From this position you were able to rest your head on his knee, gazing up at him as the TV flickered across his face.

"I cleaned the carpet on Wednesday." You told him, letting your hand idly play with the sleeve of his shirt. "Just so you know."

He paused the movie, having finally gotten to the beginning again, and turned his attention to you. He bent down to place an appreciative kiss on your forehead, murmuring a thank you against your skin.

"Okay we've got enough gummy bears to kill a demon clown, two blankets, three pillows, and a sexy gentleman to top it all off." Richie waddled into the room, throwing the blankets and pillows on the floor and joining them with his bowl of candy.

"Sure you don't wanna join us down here, Eddie spaghetti?" Richie asked, beginning to get comfortable by your side.

"Fine." Eddie grumbled. "But only if I can be in the middle."

You and Richie gladly made room for your smaller partner to wiggle his way between the two of you. You laid your head against Eddie's shoulder, cuddling up into his warmth as Richie pulled a blanket over the three of you and mirrored your position on Eddie's other side.

"We ready?" You asked, pointing the remote at the screen.

"Bring on the Sandra Bullock!" Richie exclaimed.

This time you were actually able to watch the opening credits and about half of the movie before Richie and Eddie got into another squabble. You couldn't be too upset as you watched them tease one another with the utmost love and admiration people could have for on another.

And somehow you got lucky enough to be included in that love.

[starconsumer444]

Sakusa Kiyoomi (18+)

A/N: This is actually like??? Fucked up, but it’s stated that I write dark content (in my pinned), even then, I know it may still come as a shock to some people?? So, it’s only fair warning if I put this disclaimer here telling you its !!MESSED UP!! You’ll come to find out later on that this is fairly on brand for me tho...so yeah. I had fun writing this even though I’m sure the proofreading on this is jackshit.

(CW/TW: Yandere!Sakusa, “Master” as a Name You Call Him, Kidnapping, Semi-Stockholm Syndrome, Abuse, Implied Non-con, GN!Reader, Belting, Degradation, Being Forced To Wear A Maid Dress Regardless Of Gender [Forced Feminization??], Implied Enforced Line of Sight [Sakusa Doesn’t Typically Let You Look Him In The Eye], Abuse, A Knife [Wielded with... Murderous Intent], Lots Of Crying, Literal Drowning, Please tell me if I missed something...)

A rush of hot panic runs through your body as you hear the locks on the front door clicking open. You want to run, but it’s like your feet are cemented to the polished ceramic floor in front of the sink where you stand. 

You still have so many unwashed dishes. The water still runs when it should’ve been done well before he got here, like it typically is. It sounds so loud along with your heart beat in your ears and the shutting of the front doors. You know you're in trouble-- know there’s no way out of it and still you press on in hopes that maybe he’ll have mercy when he see’s you trying to be good. You know it’s no use though, it’s always been no use.

You should be waiting for him by the door, on your hands and knees, but you’re not. You’re pathetic, tears starting to stream down your face as you anxiously scrub away at a sullied plate from last night.

He let you off the hook last time, he’s not going to do it again, you know. But you can’t do this anymore, you want to go home. You want to go home so bad.

You grab a large carver knife from the drying rack as you hear his footsteps behind you. You’re done with this; you’ve been trapped in this hellhole with him long enough. It’s time that you free yourself.

You’ve told yourself that so many times before.

“Can’t do simple tasks?” He sounds so close; dangerously close. You turn around to find that he is.

You hold the knife flat to your chest, or rather the fabric of your French maid outfit that he forces you to wear around the house when you're busy. His face is indifferent-- annoyed actually. 

“You get one chance.” He huffs out. “Put the knife down now and I won’t factor that into your punishment.” His speech is slow, careful, like he’s talking to a child.

“You’re gonna hurt me,” You try to stable your voice, wiping away your still falling tears with one shaky hand and pointing the tip of the knife at your kidnapper. He only steps forward, caging you in between him and the sink, tip of the knife pressed to his chest. “Sakusa, please-” You say as he reaches behind you to turn the tap off, and you recoil out of habit. 

“What did you just call me?” He stares down at you and you can only look down at the knife between you and him.

“I’m sorry, master.”

“Put the knife down.” He grabs your jaw with savage strength, pulling you onto the tips of your toes. Still you don’t let go of the knife, tip now pointed at his sternum. “Drop it.”

You shake your head as best you can, eye’s meeting his for the first time in a while, this can be your way out. It’s been months of his senseless torture. Days on end without eating, violating your body over and over, watching you shower, making you clean everything the way he likes it...you can’t stand it anymore. If you have to smell bleach for one more day, you’ll be sick. You can’t do it. Your body is worn out and you know you can’t fight him, but you have to try, right?   

“Fine,” He throws your frail form away from him, effectively slamming your backside into the sink counter. “Stab me. Do it. Now.”

Your tears start to fall harder now, blurring your vision. You don’t bother wiping them though, you just reach behind you to sooth your lower back as your knees hit the ground with a painful thump. Your curl into yourself, body wracking with sobs, as you hold up the knife to offer it to him. You know he’s unaffected by your show, he’s probably looking at you with that same avidly disinterested gaze he always does, as he watches you crying into the skirt of your dress. You can’t help it though, defeat and shame run through your body like fire.

You feel him slide the knife out of your hand, and the sound of it clattering into the sink reasonates, bringing on a new type of heartbreak.

Why did you give up? This could’ve been your chance? Your chance to kill him. To run away and never look back. Why did you give up? Do you hate yourself?

You don’t bother trying to fight it when he drags you up by your hair, telling you how stupid and useless you are. You can hear the faucet running again and you can feel him jerk your head back uncomfortably.

“Where were you planning on going?” He prods in all his sick glory. “We’ve watched the news together, they’re not looking for you.” He says as he pulls you backwards under the flow of the water. You weren't going to answer anyway.

You thrash about violently and you feel him press his torso against you. At the very least you want your feet on the floor, but with the way he’s holding you it’s impossible. And he must’ve put the stopper in because you stupidly gasp for air and catch nothing but water in your mouth, too urgent to notice the water coming above your face. Now you’re choking underneath him with no escape, you’re desperate and trying your hardest to pull yourself out of his grip. He’s always been too strong for you.

You kick at him, try to scream, try to bring your head up from such an uncomfortable angle...everything. It’s all useless. You feel him latch onto your throat to hold you under even tighter and all you can manage to do while you flail about is dig your nails into his forearm.

Your lungs are burning, your stomachs empty, you’re stuck here, why are you fighting? What is there to fight for?

He holds you under for about a minute, barely even struggling against your incessant kicking and scratching. When he cuts off the water and finally drags you up, you’re coughing up water until you dry heave, falling forward once more when he lets your hair loose.

You fall on all fours in front of him, lightheaded and swearing to yourself that you’re gonna vomit. Nothing ever comes up, and for that you’re thankful. Stomach acid on his floor would’ve angered him more and you know it. You try to crawl away, to catch your breath, hoping that this is all over. He just drags you back by your ankles, telling you to stay on your hands and knees, and pushing up your dress to reveal your underwear.

“No one wants a dumbass like you, don’t you get it?”

You know.

“This is where you belong.” You can hear the jingle if his belt coming undone. “You’re not a bad housekeeper, it’s just times like this.” He sounds so far away, like he’s not destroying you more and more the longer this goes on.

“I give a worthless fuck like you, who doesn’t wake up on time to do simple tasks, purpose and you want to stab me?” He chuckles to himself. “Pull your underwear down.”

You comply, moving one shaking hand back to pull them down with several hesitant jerks filled with urgency.

“I fuck you, I feed you, I give you a roof over your head...everything... I give you something to do with your pathetic life and you want to run...” You know not to say a word back. “You can’t even wake up on time to get your work done before I get here and you think you can run?!” He laughs darkly before you feel a sharp stinging pain travel across your ass accompanied by a loud cracking sound.

The belt sends your body forward in pure agony. You don’t even scream, just let out an open mouthed whimper and move back into place for him to lash you again. You deserve it.

You can hear him snicker evilly at your submissive display.

“Count.” He demands.

“One.” You whine.

THWACK

“Two.”

THWACK

“Three.” And tears start to fall.

You reach twenty and by then you’re flat, faced down on the ground, begging for his mercy.

“Please, master,” You inhale, trembling from his harsh mistreatment. You’re sure you have bruising welts on your ass, and its going to hurt to sit. You just want him to stop. “I’m sorry. I’ll learn to do everything on time. Please just don’t hurt me anymore.”

Begging has never once worked on him.

THWACK

“Twenty-one” This time you scream and drag your aching body away from him using your forearms. Tears and snot stream down your face in a miserable display of defeat.

He relents. You know its over when you crawl over to him, not even bothering with your underwear (instead opting to kick them off), and hug his leg. Your body is quaking and you’re still begging for him to have mercy on you for whatever reason. You know he’s done.

You don’t even notice you're getting tears and snot all over his pants as you beg and beg for him to be kind to you. He just kicks you off of him, not caring to hear whatever you’ve got to say for yourself. You lean back into a cold cabinet door, hugging your knees to your chest silently. 

“Clean up. When you’re done, take a shower and don’t come out of you're room for the rest of the day. I don’t want to see or hear you. Do I make myself clear?” He looms over you like the devil himself and you know to look at his feet.

“Yes, Master.”

[phoebe-delia]

could u write a drarry oneshot inspired by sweet creature of harry styles? :)

Hello Nonnie! I absolutely can. This is a great suggestion, I love this song for Drarry. I hope you enjoy it. Warnings: injury, drinking, attempted sexual assault that is VERY QUICKLY STOPPED and NOT H/D!!! Thank you to @apr1cots for the beta!

3 Times Harry Brought Draco Home...+1 Time Draco Brought Harry Home

1.

The first time, Harry found him in the cafe near their flat.

He sat down in the chair across from Draco, who glared at him over his cup of tea. "I thought I told you not to follow me."

"I waited three hours. I figured that would be enough time for you to come to your senses, but you didn't come back, so I got worried."

"I can handle myself, thanks."

"I know you can. But you didn't tell me where you went."

Draco's eyes flashed. "That was for a reason, you imbecile."

Harry shook his head. "Flatmates don't do that—disappear for three hours after a fight without saying where they’ve gone."

"I'm an adult. And you're not my father or my boyfriend, so back off."

"No, but I am your friend. And your flatmate. And I don't want to be worried sick for three hours when you fuck off to Merlin knows where because you're feeling pissy!" Harry snapped, letting his anger creep into his voice.

Draco sighed. He took a moment to sip his tea, and then he looked at Harry. "I'll tell you what. If we fight, and I don't return, send an owl, Floo or contact you in some way within six hours, you can send out a bloody search party."

Harry shook his head. “I will give you three hours.”

“Five”

“Three and a half.”

“Four and a half.”

“Four is my final offer.”

Draco scoffed. “Is that so? What are you going to do, show up with half the Auror department?”

Harry pursed his lips. “Not if I don’t have to. But I would.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

“Care to find out?”

“You’re mental.”

“Maybe,” Harry shrugged. “Trouble is, I don’t care. Now, will you be here for a while, or are you coming home with me?”

“I suppose I'll go, but only since I've already finished my tea,” Draco said with another sigh, which Harry ignored as they both rose from their seats. While they walked to the Apparition point together, Harry replayed in his mind the flicker of emotion on Draco’s face when he said “home.”

2.

The second time, Harry’s glass nearly shattered in his hand from how firmly he was gripping it.

He ignored Hermione’s knowing gaze and Ron’s eye roll as he unabashedly stared daggers at the bloke practically groping Draco at the bar. Harry saw Draco’s eyes widen imperceptibly, noticed his smile falter and his cheekbone twitch.

Yes, he observed this from across the room. You get to know a bloke after living with him for almost a year; besides, Harry was very perceptive—constant vigilance and all that.

Speaking of being an Auror, Harry was pretty sure this prick was breaking some sort of public indecency laws by the way he was sliding his hand further and further up Draco’s leg. Draco gently pried the man’s hand from his thigh, only for the stranger to laugh and reach over again, gripping it even more firmly.

Harry didn’t think beyond getting up from his seat and striding toward the bar, quickening his pace when he saw Draco’s eyes widen in panic. He barely registered the look of horror on the stranger’s face when he grabbed the hand gripping Draco’s thigh and pinned the man face-down on the bar.

“He said no,” Harry said through clenched teeth, ignoring the man’s grunts and protests.

“We were just talking!” The man sputtered, his cheek pressed against the counter as he twisted and wriggled to get free.

Harry tightened his grip. “Conversation’s over. If I catch you trying to ‘talk’ to him again, I’ll make sure you have a nice chat with the Wizengamot about sexual assault. Now, apologize.”

“But—”

“Apologize!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry.”

Harry smirked. “Good.” He released the man’s arm and let him right himself. The man froze, looking between Harry and Draco expectantly.

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Leave. Now.”

The man nodded, scurrying out of the now silent bar, the bell attached to the door tinkling behind him.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know.” Draco’s face was blank other than a raised eyebrow.

Harry shrugged. “Sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“No, I’m not. But I am glad you’re okay. You are, right? He didn’t hurt you?” Harry’s chest tightened at the suggestion.

But Draco shook his head. “No, I’m fine. But I think that’s my sign to head home.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“You don’t have to. I’m fine to Floo.”

“I want to.”

“What about your friends?”

Harry cringed and turned back to face the table to see Ron and Hermione looking at him, expressions full of nausea and amusement, respectively. He held up a hand in a small wave. Hermione shook her head and smiled fondly.

Harry grinned and turned back to Draco. “They’ll be alright without me. C’mon, let’s go home. I’ll make us some tea, yeah?”

Draco hesitated at first, but he nodded. And if Harry let his hand linger lightly on Draco’s back when they headed toward the Floo, they could both chalk it up to a safety measure.

3.

The door to Pansy Parkinson’s flat swung open before Harry could knock.

She took one look at him and rolled her eyes. “Could you have taken any longer to get here?”

Harry bristled. “I was—”

“Don’t care. Get in here, he’s on my couch.” She turned and walked away purposefully, and Harry trailed behind her.

“I thought you two were just going for drinks?”

Pansy sighed. “We were, but then we came back here for a few more, and he got into my tequila when my back was turned.” She shook her head. “Tequila is his one weakness—well,” she smirked. “One of them, anyway.”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows and opened his mouth to respond when a shout sounded from the living room.

He looked over to see Draco sprawled across the couch, an empty glass in one hand and the other nearly touching the floor, his leather-clad legs spread wide.

Draco grinned at Harry. “Harrryyy!!! Come to join the party?”

“He’s come to end it, more like,” Pansy crossed her arms. “It’s time for you to go home, love.”

Draco let out a high, keening whine and burrowed himself further into the couch. “Don’ wanna. Tired. Stay here.”

“No, Draco, we’ve got to go home,” Harry walked up to the couch. His breath caught when gray eyes blinked wide and pleadingly up at him.

Draco held out his arms. “Up.”

“Er, what?”

Draco jerked his arms up and down, keeping them in the air. “Up! Help me up, you great oaf!”

Harry sighed and bent down, taking Draco in his arms and nearly stumbling when the blond let his body weight fall into him.

Draco smirked lazily. “Oops,” he said with a grin in his voice. “Guess you gotta carry me.”

Harry scoffed, looking to Pansy for appeal.

She waved a hand dismissively. “He’s your problem, now. Just get him out of my flat and back home intact, will you?” She didn’t wait for him to respond, walking away into another room.

Harry sighed. He wasn’t sure about the safety of Apparating or taking the Floo with someone in your arms, and the twists and turns of the Knight Bus could make a sober person sick up. With a grunt, he hoisted Draco up and into his arms bridal style, and the other man yelped and then giggled wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck.

“Home,” Draco said softly, and affection spread through Harry’s chest.

“Okay, Draco,” Harry whispered as they made their way out of the flat. “I’ve got you.”

+1.

Harry woke to the sound of muffled voices shouting at each other and the constant beep of a monitor.

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, wincing as a sharp pain exploded in his side with the effort. Memories came rushing back: the raid, turning his back for a split second to shout something at Ron, blinding pain, then darkness. He tried to sit up in the hospital bed, but he let himself lie back down when his side throbbed once more.

Suddenly, the door was opened and then promptly slammed shut. “Honestly, the nerve of these people. If he needs bed rest, then where is better than his own bed? Is my Healer degree rendered meaningless the moment I’m off the clock?” Draco muttered, running a hand through his hair as he paced the room angrily.

“Draco?”

Draco jumped and turned to Harry with wild, startled eyes that made Harry laugh, and then wince in pain.

“You’re awake, thank Merlin,” Draco approached the side of the bed, relief replacing the shock on his face.

“How long have I been out?”

“Two days. You were hit with a rare curse that caused an ever-bleeding wound in your side, and the healers had to put you in a magically induced coma to reverse it.”

“That sounds good. Do Robards and—”

“Yes, Ron gave Robards the full briefing. You’re not expected in the office until a Healer permits it.”

“So, can I go home?”

“Yes, now that you’re awake, you can go home. I’ll monitor you from there.”

Harry frowned. “You don’t have to.”

Draco let out a short, humorless chuckle. “You were in a coma for two days, Harry. The only reason they’re discharging you is that you’re going home with a Healer.”

“But you don’t actually have to stay and watch me all day, right?”

“What part of ‘I’ll monitor you from there’ don’t you understand?”

“But I’m fi-!” The last word was cut off as Harry hissed through another spark of pain.

“Fine, are you?”

“Shut up.”

Draco smirked. “Not likely.”

Harry scowled, eliciting a real laugh from Draco, who moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Flatmates don’t do this, y’know.”

Draco’s eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“Take several days off of work to care for the other when they’re injured. I’m not even sure friends do that.”

Harry noticed Draco’s jaw tighten. He ached to reach up and relax it with a gentle touch, but he kept his hand at his side.

“What are you saying, Harry?” Draco asked, his voice low and even.

“I’ll tell you what,” Harry swallowed. “I won’t argue about you wasting days away from work if you let me take you to dinner when I’ve recovered.”

The beginning of a smile curved Draco’s lips. “And what will we do in the meantime?”

Harry waggled his eyebrows. “I can think of a few ways to pass the time.”

Draco chuckled. “If you think I’m missing work just so you wind up back in here because you restarted bleeding during sex, you’ve another thing coming.”

Harry pouted halfheartedly. “Apparently I won’t be coming at all.”

Draco mimicked his petulant frown. “Aww, ickle Harry, being waited on for days by his flatmate-turned-boyfriend.”

“I’ll tell you what—”

“Didn’t we already make a deal?”

“I’ll tell you what: I won’t argue about you missing work or not having sex until I’m recovered if you let me take you to dinner once I’m healed and if we can snog as much as we like.”

"What makes you think I’ll agree to those terms?”

Harry shrugged. “If you don’t like those terms, I can come up with more. Now that I’m on bed rest, I’ve got plenty of time to think.”

“You’re not supposed to strain yourself,” Draco smirked when Harry glared at him.

Harry huffed. “You need to work on your bedside manner, Healer Malfoy.”

“I’ll get plenty of practice this week, then, won’t I?”

“Yes, you will. Now, can we get out of here? I want to start my healing regimen right away.”

Draco laughed and laced their fingers together. “Alright, Harry. Let’s go home.”

Send me an ask about Harry Potter, broadway/musicals, The West Wing, and/or Taylor Swift! Or just about life in general :).

Also, I have a playlist of my 99 most listened-to songs of the year so far. Pick a number 1--99 and send me an ask and I'll write you a fic based on it!

[ijustwant2write]

Father Knows Best-Thomas Shelby x Shelby!Daughter!Reader

(GIF credit to @devileyedbanana​)

Masterlist

Tags: @captivatedbycillianmurphy​ @jenepleurepasbaby​ @amirahiddleston​ @bloodorangemoonlight @haphazardhufflepuff​ @mzcrazy2​

Requested by anonymous: ‘Can I request a Tommy x daughter angst one shot where she falls in love with a rival gangster and Tommy asks her to choose, and she chooses her love but then he turns out to be violent and Tommy comes and saves her.’

Characters: Thomas Shelby x Shelby!Daughter!Reader, Finn Shelby x Shelby!Reader (Uncle)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Alcohol, being drunk, swearing, mentions of a sexual nature, family arguments, domestic abuse, weaponry, fluff

(A/N: Matthew is a made up character, AND THIS IS MUCH LONGER THAN I ANTICIPATED)

                                       *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I covered my mouth as I giggled uncontrollably, Matthew was shushing me despite chuckling himself. We held onto each other as we stumbled out of the club, our feet aching from all the dancing we had done, struggling to walk in a straight line due to the drinks. As we stood up straight, swaying slightly from the alcohol, Matthew took me in his arms, kissing me sloppily. Neither of us were anywhere near sober. 

“You’re so beautiful.” he breathed out, going in for another kiss.

I smiled into it, gripping onto his coat for support.“Tonight was amazing. I don’t want it to end.”

“It doesn’t have to.”

I groaned.“It does though. You know I’m already past my curfew.”

“Your dad should be happy that you’re out making friends.”

“You don’t know anything about my dad then.”

We hesitated to start the walk home, though both knew that Matthew wouldn’t receive the best welcome if he got me back any later. I was in trouble now anyway, but I didn’t care what any of my family thought. Time flew by too quickly when I was with Matthew, it was as if we never had enough of each other. And I wasn’t stupid, my father definitely knew about us. As leader of the Peaky Blinders, he had eyes everywhere, and if he wanted his men to follow me, they would. I had spotted several of them just tonight, but I didn’t care.

Seeing as these men would be reporting back to my dad as soon as the night was over, I didn’t want to wake up to a lecture from him. Instead, I decided to head to my uncle’s house. Finn had given me an extra key, just in case, and we were extremely close in age, he understood what I was going through; he also wasn’t allowed to do anything dangerous, let alone be involved in any plans, even tough he tried. 

“You sure your uncle won’t let me in? You can try to be quiet.” Matthew whispered as I stood outside of Finn’s house. 

I scoffed at him.“I can be quiet!”

“Well I have yet to experience that.”

“He won’t let you in. I’m sorry Matthew.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’ll see you in the next few days?”

“Of course you will.”

We slowly kissed, hands still wrapped around each other. It was always so difficult to let him go. This time, Matthew was the one to pull away, gently kissing me on the forehead before leaving. I watched him leave until I couldn’t see him before unlocking the door. Although I had been incredibly quiet, I heard a thud, someone (my uncle) was fumbling around, thinking an intruder was here. He had a gun in his hands as he whipped open his bedroom door. The panic in his face was replaced with annoyance.

“For fucks sake (Y/N), what do you think you’re doing?” he sighed, rubbing his eyes.

“Um, coming in from a great night out?” I said, chuckling to myself as I walked into a chair.

“Oh good, you’re drunk. Why didn’t you get the driver to take you back to your house?”

“Because I don’t want to deal with dad. You know he’s awake too, he would shout at me as soon as I stepped foot in the door.”

Finn rolled his eyes.“You were with that prick weren’t you?”

“His name is Matthew and he’s not a prick. He’s my boyfriend. And I know that dad knows about him.”

“You should really stay away from him. He doesn’t come from a good family. We’re in the same circles (Y/N), people tell me things.”

I groaned.“Urgh, I didn’t come here to get told off by someone who is literally two years older than me. I’m going to bed. Feel free to call my dad, tell him I’m fine and that I had a good time, cause I know he won’t ask that.”

“What do you mean?”

“As soon as you call, or he calls you, the first question will be, ‘who was she with?’. Yeah, my dad really cares for me.”

Even though I slept late into the afternoon, I still didn’t feel rested. My head was pounding, I felt as if I would be sick every time I moved, and my feet throbbed, so all in all, signs of a great night out. As I shuffled into the kitchen, Finn was sat at the table, arms crossed and staring at me. Oh no, he was not going to act like a saint right now.

“I’m not dealing with you right now Finn.” I said as I poured myself a cup of tea.

“Tommy’s coming to get you in an hour. Make sure you’re ready.”

I mockingly saluted him.“Yes sir!”

“Come off it (Y/N). I don’t get why you act like this. Sometimes you’re really sweet, other times you’re...”

“Go on, get it out of your system.”

“You can be a bitch.”

“Look, I understand what you’re saying.” I sat down across from him.“But dad really hasn’t paid much attention to me recently. He doesn’t even greet me when I come down for breakfast. I know he’s got a lot on his plate, and it’s a big plate, but lately he’s been really harsh on me.”

“It’s because of Matthew.”

“He’s going to have to drop that soon. I get that I’m his only daughter so he’s overprotective, and because I’m a Shelby, but he doesn’t have to worry.”

“That’s the thing (Y/N). This Matthew has made him worry even more.”

“Why? Because it’s my first serious boyfriend?”

“No because...look, what I tell you now, you can’t say a word of it to anyone else, do you understand?”

“Finn-”

“Do you understand?”

I hesitated, but nodded, my curiosity getting the better of me.

“Matthew is....he’s part of a rival gang.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.“I get you don’t want me to date him, but that’s ridiculous.”

“(Y/N), I’m being deadly serious.”

“No he’s not. I’ve met his family, they’re sweethearts.”

“Because they want you to trust them.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m not trying to piss you off, or make up something so you break up with him. He’s dangerous (Y/N), it’s all one big trap. They get Thomas Shelby’s daughter and they can bargain for anything.”

“Wouldn’t it be less hassle to just kidnap me? What if I didn’t fall for Matthew, what would they do then?”

“That’s not the point-”

“No, there is no point to this, at all Finn.”

“(Y/N), please, I’m trying to look out for you.”

“I’m going to get ready. I need to look decent for dad.”

Part of a rival gang? Pathetic. It wasn't even an interesting story. Yes, Matthew was a little wild, he brought out the party girl in me, but I was having fun! As long as he wasn't harming me, nor were we harming anyone else in the process, I saw no flaws with our relationship. We also had our downtime moments, times where we could lie down in each others arms, hint at our futures. Apparently not everyone could see that.

There was a knock at the door, and I sighed to myself, knowing my time of hiding was over. Luckily dressed, looking pretty decent after the night before, I took time walking out of the spare room, hearing some mumbling before I even saw my dad. Although he never showed much emotion anyway, I could tell he wasn't happy, staring me down as I approached him in last night's clothes.

"Morning dad." I greeted him kindly, hoping we would have this conversation away from Finn.

Dad looked at Finn in disbelief, then back to me."Morning? Fucking good morning?"

"Dad-"

"Get in the car."

I obeyed his order but not before saying goodbye to Finn."Thanks for letting me stay."

He just nodded to me, awkwardly waiting by the door as I followed dad outside. I kept up with his usual long strides, bracing myself for what could end up as a screaming match. Thinking about it, I never argued much with dad, but when we did, it was over serious topics, never anything petty. I loved him dearly, he always looked out for me, gave me anything I wanted, ensured that I had a good life he never had growing up. So the guilt growing inside of me was huge, but my stubbornness was strong. I was an adult now, I was allowed to make these decisions.

Surprisingly, there was no driver for us. I slipped into the passenger seat, both of us remaining silent as dad started the drive. I watched the streets of Small Heath pass by, the regulars of the city slowly making their way to work, dirty from the shift the day before, probably drunk to keep themselves warm. It was a sad, poor place sometimes.

"Are we going to talk?" I mumbled, putting my focus on him.

He sighed loudly through his nose."Are you going to listen?"

"Please can we not be malicious about this?"

"Why didn't you just come home last night? Any bar would have let you use a phone, they know who you are."

"Because I didn't want the hassle. And I stayed at Finn's, so I don't understand why you're so angry?"

"You were with that boy."

"Dad, when will you just accept that I'm twenty one and I'm allowed to see people?"

"It's not that. If you had found someone who wasn't trouble-"

"Matthew isn't trouble."

"You don't know everything (Y/N)."

"Oh, don't tell me, he's part of rival gang, right?"

Dad's eyes widened as his head snapped towards me, his gaze flickering between me and the road."You what?"

"Finn told me."

Dad groaned, putting all of his concentration back on the road."Told him to keep his mouth shut. Neither of you seem to be able to follow orders."

I rolled my eyes.

"I saw that."

"Look, I'm sorry for not at least calling last night, I know that was wrong." Dad was silent.

"But I really like Matthew. I don't want you to scare him away, or make up ridiculous stories about him."

"Stories eh? That's what you think they are?"

"I know they are."

Suddenly, dad put his foot down, making us go faster than I liked. He ignored my pleas for him to go slower, somehow not swerving off of the country roads that lead to our house. He was driving at this speed for far too long, skidding on the gravel as we braked in front of the house. Dad hastily got out of the car, whereas I needed a second to get my breath back. He was already walking through the front door by the time I was shakily getting out of the car, stumbling in my heels across the gravel.

I called after him but he wouldn't listen. Storming towards his office, he flung open the doors, not even flinching when they whacked into the walls. Quickly following, I watched his manic actions, shuffling through paper work and slapping down files onto the desk.

"There's your story." he said, pointing at them.

Hesitantly I walked towards him, scanning my eyes over his evidence. There were pictures, reports, files containing personal information. I focused more on the parts about Matthew, reading things such as where he was born, where he had lived, the schools he attended....and none of them matched with what he had told me. There was a portrait picture of him, I didn't know where dad got it from, and another photo slipped out from under it as I picked it up. Only this time, it was a mugshot.

"So, do you still think we're lying?" dad said.

"I...I..." I was speechless.

"You know that everything I do, I do for you. You're my daughter, it's my job to protect you. You need to stay away from that man."

"Why wouldn't he tell me?"

"Did you really just ask that?"

"We've talked about everything. He didn't even hint at it." I was talking to myself at this point."I met his family. Why would they go through all of that? Host that dinner, make me welcome, say such nice things?"

"I didn't take you to be stupid (Y/N)."

"I know what it sounds like. But dad, Matthew wouldn't lie to me-"

"HE'S USING YOU!" he screamed at me."You're a fucking Shelby, you're the daughter of Thomas Shelby, you have a huge target on your head! It's an easy way to get to me, and to find out secrets about us!"

My mouth dropped open in shock."I would never tell him anything they he wasn't supposed to know!"

"Wouldn't you? He seems to have a hold on you, and it's scaring me. I've never seen you like this."

"That 'hold' you're on about is called love! Not that you would know anything about that, seeing as my mother was a whore!"

"Don't you dare speak to me like that!"

"It wouldn't be a surprise would it, if I ended up with a fucked up relationship? Because I had oh such a great example from you. Fucks a random woman, she knows who he is, so she dumps the baby on him, hoping he won't give her away to an orphanage."

"Stop changing the conversation. We are talking about how we get you away Matthew."

“You’re not going to.”

“(Y/N)-”

“I’ve been with him for months, why is this now just coming out? How long have you known about this?”

He didn’t have to say anything but I still got my answer.

“Ah.” I scoffed a laugh.“You have known about this. And for some reason, you have’t decided to mention this.”

“It was for-”

“I’m going to stop you right there. Dad, I am going to speak to Matthew about this.”

“You will not go near him.”

“Yes I will. I’m going to get the truth, right now.”

My words escaped me before I could really think about them. I was already walking away from him, back out to the front door. Opening a cabinet, I searched through the keys for any car, any vehicle that would get me far away from here.

“I’m having someone follow you.” dad informed me.

“I know.”

“You’re stepping into enemy territory.”

“We’re not in the war anymore dad. And you’re not a soldier.”

I finally found the right key, heading towards the only car I had ever driven. Making my way to the garage, I ignored my dad, not even looking at him. I definitely felt guilty for what I had said, and what I was about to do. But I needed to do this myself, I needed to speak to Matthew without the pressure of anyone else.

I was not a good driver. Everyone was safe whilst I was driving, I just wasn’t very fast or great with spacial awareness. In my head, I had expected to be racing to Matthew’s, getting to his in record time. This had ruined my fantasy. Once I did reach his house, I slowly lined up the car with the path, wincing when I bumped into the curb; thank god no one was around to see that. 

“(Y/N)?” I heard Matthew call me as I got out of the car. He was approaching me down the pathway of his house.

“Matthew, I need to speak with you, urgently.” I rushed out, pushing him back towards his home.

“Woah, wait, wait. What’s happened? Why are you in last nights clothes?”

“Just get inside.”

By looking at his house, you could tell he was well off. It was in a nicer neighbourhood, it was separate from the other houses and had multiple rooms. I asked him if anyone else was home, and when he said no, I was relieved. We didn’t want them getting involved, and I felt like shouting if this went wrong. 

“You’re worrying me (Y/N).” Matthew said.

“Oh, are you worried about me?” I sarcastically said.

“(Y/N), can you just tell me what’s going on?!”

“Are you part of a rival gang against the Peaky Blinders?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“What makes you say something like that?”

“My family told me.”

“What makes them think that?”

“Matthew, I’ve seen the evidence. I didn’t admit it to my dad, but I believed him. I’ve seen your real information. You’ve lied to me about a lot of things. And why do you have a fucking mugshot?”

He exhaled through his nose, looking away from me for a few seconds.“I can’t lie anymore.”

“You shouldn’t have in the first place!”

He held up his hands in defence.“Alright, alright, let’s just use our inside voices. I’ll explain everything to you.”

Matthew directed me to his front room, sitting beside me, and although I initially wanted to shuffle away from him, I couldn’t bring myself to do it; especially when he took my hands in his, resting them on his lap. He wasn’t afraid to look me in the eyes, perhaps a sign of him about to tell the truth.

“(Y/N), your family is right. I am part of a company that rivals yours-”

I tried pulling my hands away, but he gripped onto me tightly.

“-but we would never cause any harm. We are only rivals in business. There is no bloodshed, no injuries, no deaths. The only thing we fight over are numbers.”

“That still doesn’t explain everything.”

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know if you already knew who I was. You know how it feels to have everyone already judge you based on a name.”

“Don’t use that against me.”

“I’m not. I’m trying to connect with you on this. The mugshot is from a brawl we had with a couple of ex-employees, they wanted to expose us with lies. Unfortunately we were typical men, and apparently that was the only way we thought to solve it. The police were called and I spent a night in a cell, but I was released the next morning.”

“That’s it?”

He nodded.

“You promise?” 

“I promise. And my family have not been plotting anything like your father thinks they have. Of course, they had an idea when I told them about you, you know, to ‘unite’ our families to stop the feud. Obviously that was ridiculous because fights don’t just end like that. But when I brought you to them, it was because I was proud of you, I wanted to show them the amazing woman I had found and fell in love with.”

“Love?”

“Yes. I love you (Y/N).”

“I love you too Matthew. I’m sorry for attacking you with all these questions. But even if I tried to convince my dad that he was wrong, he wouldn’t believe me. I’m scared he’s going to try and separate us.”

“Then live with me!”

“What? No I couldn’t do that to you-”

“Of course you can! You’ve seen this house, there’s plenty of room, my family loves you, it would be perfect! And...” he leaned in closer to me, whispering in my ear,“they’re hardly here, so we would have a lot of alone time.”

Although my heart jumped at the thought of living with Matthew, being able to see him everyday, spending every moment with him, I also dreaded telling my dad. I was old enough to make my own decision though. I could move in with Matthew if I wanted, what was stopping me? I believed everything he said, he had an explanation for everything. If Matthew was in a rival gang, using me for their own purpose, wouldn’t he just threaten me or kidnap me when I confronted him? It all seemed like too much effort.

All of that information dad accumulated must have been biased, especially if our families were rival companies. Although I was leaning more towards staying with Matthew, I didn’t want to lose my dad. I would have to be an idiot to believe that he would let me leave home with a man he didn’t like, but on the other hand, I was at the age where I could do what I wanted. Just because I had the last name Shelby didn’t mean I was going to be trapped by it.

There had been a lot of back and forth that day, both emotionally and physically. But here I was once again arguing with my dad. Stupidly, I had let Matthew come along (he was very persuasive), though he stayed in the car. Set on convincing him to let me leave with Matthew, we shouted at each other, screaming our opinions. He didn’t believe a word I said. Tears streamed down my face as I grew more frustrated, pleading him to listen, to give Matthew another chance.  

“I don’t know why I’m bothering to ask! I could have left without asking, without even telling you. But I did it out of respect for you.” I suddenly exclaimed.

Dad stopped shouting for a moment, heavily breathing.“Fine. Go then. If you’re so grown up, pack your bags and move onto the next part of your life. I just hope for your sake that I’m wrong.”

                                       *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I had never felt such conflict in my heart before. The first month of moving away was extremely hard, I cried most nights in Matthew’s arms. I had loathed every moment of collecting my belongings from dad’s house, saying goodbye to my family because I wouldn’t be seeing them as much as I was used to. They thought the same as dad, all had tried to convince me to stay. But Matthew was always by my side, reassuring me that we could start our own life now, not forgetting our old ones of course, but creating a new one. 

And oh, how quickly things changed.

Three months, three months of pure bliss. I was living with my boyfriend, having the joy of seeing him everyday when he came home from work, eating meals with him, sleeping beside him, not having to arrange weeks in advance when to next see each other. Matthew had even started talking more about our future, hinting at marriage, finding our own home to live in. It excited me. I was growing up, doing all the things a person should do. Perhaps this would show dad that I was happy, that he was wrong about those rumours, and I could finally see him again. I missed him so much.

It was like binding a contract with the devil. Once that engagement ring was slipped on my finger, my whole world was flipped. Matthew started staying out late. I knew he wasn’t going out drinking, he didn’t smell of alcohol when he returned, neither could he be cheating because I never caught a whiff of perfume, or found a hair on his jacket, or even see him come home disgruntled; he was just as immaculate as he had been leaving. Sometimes him, his father, his brother and uncle would come home, immediately gathering in the front room and slamming the door shut. They would be in there for hours, deep in conversation. And that scared me, because it reminded me of my family whenever they were scheming.  

“Matthew?” I had mumbled late one night, disturbed from my sleep when he opened the bedroom door.

“Go to sleep.” it was an order, no note of sympathy in his voice.

I watched him undress.“Are you alright? I heard you arguing downstairs.” 

“What did I just say?” I had never seen someones head snap around so quickly.

“I’m sorry,” I didn’t know why I was apologising,“I just wanted to make sure you weren’t upset.”

“I am now.”

“Why?”

“Because of you! Asking me all these questions! I thought you were smart.” he made a show of collapsing into a chair, starting to untie his shoelaces.

I sat up.“Matthew, there’s obviously something wrong. You know you can tell me-”

He suddenly threw his shoe against the floor, but for a split second I thought it was aimed at me.“Just go to sleep (Y/N)!”

I was scared to move, thinking I would somehow do something else wrong. But when he continued to stare at me, I slowly slipped back under the covers, clinging them close to me, trying to steady my breathing to hide how much I wanted to cry. I listened to Matthew get ready for bed, the silence making me more nervous. He climbed into bed, shuffling towards me. I flinched as he wrapped an arm around me, his body pressed up against the back of mine. Who was this person? What made him act like this?

“I’m sorry darling.” he whispered in my ear.

But I didn’t feel comforted by that, or feel like I should give him forgiveness. And I realised it wouldn’t have even mattered if I did, because it kept on happening.

Smaller things started to annoy him. I would simply ask him what he was doing with his day, and receive an eye roll. He would question why I was wearing a specific outfit, who was I wearing it for? His family would try to interrogate every detail about me, and it was suspicious from the beginning. I wasn’t receiving questions such as ‘How many siblings do you have?’, ‘Do your family get on well?’, ‘Where do they live?’; I wondered if it was because everyone knew about the Peaky Blinders, but it was getting too personal. I had been an idiot to become trapped by this man, however, I wasn’t going to let them use me against my family.

Some days I didn’t know how much I could take of Matthew. I was walking on egg shells around him. I quickly learnt what not to say or ask, how the tone of my voice should be, how I should look. It didn’t matter how many times he was sweet to me, apologised, bought me presents, I didn’t recognise the man I had wanted to marry. His hand held mine tighter, his grip on my waist hurt, and our intimate moments together...everything hurt me, and he didn’t care.

“Writing a letter to a friend?” Matthew startled me from the doorway of our room.

My head whipped around to see him standing there, casually leaning against the door frame.“Yes.” I quickly replied.“Well, it’s for my aunt, Ada.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m asking how Karl is. He’s growing up so fast.”

“Mention anything about me?” 

“Of course.”

“Can I read it?”

I handed him the letter, hiding my nerves. He read through it, no expression at first until he looked at me, smirking to himself. That wasn’t a good sign.

“(Y/N), my father was in the war. He’s told me about how they got secret messages out of the trenches.” he smugly said, walking towards a set of drawers and opening the top one. He pulled out a pile of letters, the envelopes opened, and the handwriting was mine.“Being Thomas Shelby’s daughter, I had expected more from you.”

“You’ve lied to me this whole time.” I shuddered at the thought of him reading my letters, begging for someone to help me escape.

“No, I haven’t.”

“You said you were only rivals in business!”I leapt up from my chair.“I fought my family to be with you! I am such a fucking idiot!”

“Isn’t that what we are? A business at the end of the day? Look, you’re here now. We’re happy. I can make us happier once we receive our upcoming bonus.”

“What bonus?”

“The bonus of having the Shelby Company all to ourselves.”

My eyes widened, screeching out as I lunged for him. I landed a good punch to his face, but due to his size and strength, he managed to grab my attacking arms. 

“Stop now (Y/N), before you get hurt.”

That was a threat from him, not a concern I may harm myself. But for once I didn’t care. They were going after my family, I would take all the beatings for them. 

“You’re a fucking liar! A cruel, terrible, waste of space!” I screamed, pulling myself away from him.“I vowed to never become one of those poor women who had to live this life. You were in my head, and I’ll admit it, you were convincing, but I know who you really are. You’re all a bunch of sad men who feel that they need to murder, threaten and mock anyone in order to make them feel better. You’ll never be as powerful as my dad, it  just won’t happen.”

“You’ve grown naive. I did like you (Y/N), once I got a good look at you, I wasn’t angry about the plan of marrying you anymore. And I’ll admit, you’re an interesting woman, easy on the eye which helps. And how loyal you were, standing beside me in everything. Don’t be upset (Y/N), we don’t want any blood on our hands, as long as your family are cooperative. And think, you will be in charge with me once they’re gone.”

“Gone? What do you think you’re going to do with my family?!”

“Nothing. We have a meeting tomorrow, you’ll be coming, and you will convince them to hand it all over to us.”

“I won’t.”

“That wasn’t a request.” he opened one side of his blazer jacket, revealing his gun.

“I would rather die than go against them.”

“You’ve done that already. And I would rather keep your brains inside your head.”

The next morning felt colder, more bitter than it usually did here; there was even a low fog creating a tense atmosphere. Although I didn’t want to comply with Matthew, I knew I had to go to this meeting if I wanted a chance of seeing my family and keeping them alive. Running on adrenaline and anxiety alone, I forced myself to get out of bed, having to get changed under the watch of the man I thought I knew. As I did my hair in the mirror, I had a sudden realisation that I wasn’t me anymore. I looked older, years older even, even though I had only been engaged to this monster for a few months. My skin felt...unusual, not right, it didn’t feel clean. The bags under my eyes seemed to droop more and more every day, as if they were dragging down my eyes with them, and my lips were missing the feeling of a genuine smile. 

Matthew kept a hand on my back as we walked downstairs, his family waiting for us. I wasn’t scared to glare at them. They weren’t going to kill me, not yet anyway. I still had some time to live, and I was going to despise them every second. They talked as if I wasn’t there, checking their weapons and the plan. Matthew had managed to confiscate my gun, I was left with my fists.

I was in the middle of the group as we made our way to the meeting point. I knew the area now, we were headed to the back of a factory. There was a lot of noise from the machines, no one would be walking around because they would be working, and Matthew’s family had a very good deal going on with the owner; they pay him large amounts of money to keep quiet, he takes that on top of his rich salary already and keeps quiet. 

As we rounded the corner, my heart dropped when I saw just my dad standing there. Out of instinct, I started to hastily move towards him until Matthew grabbed me, gripping onto my arms to keep me in place. I felt like a little girl again, scared and needing her dad to come save her. Although dad was expressionless most of the time, I was worried that he thought I was neglecting them all these months, when really, Matthew had stopped any contact between us.

“Mr Thomas Shelby, when I said about meeting, I didn’t think it would be just yourself.” Matthew’s dad started.“But that’s fine, you’re the only one we want to speak with anyway.”

“A business meeting outside, eh?” dad said.“Why do I think this is heading in another direction?”

“Let’s just get to the point, yes? You know what we want, we’re not going to stop till we get it.”

“Of course.” dad didn’t seem bothered.

“And we’re serious. But don’t worry, there will still be a Shelby within the business once you pass it over.”

Matthew urged me forward, staying very close behind.“Dad, I’ve been trying to contact you but they wouldn’t let me! I-”

“Shut up. That’s not important.” Matthew snapped at me. 

“Don’t talk to her that way.” dad lowly said, and I recognised the warning in his voice.

Matthew wasn’t bothered.“She does as she’s told.”

“I fucking don’t!” 

I stamped on his foot with my heel, quickly getting out of his grip and turning around, managing to knee him in the head as he doubled over. Another gang member pulled me away, and I didn’t know whether he was ordered to or not, but he held a gun to my temple, his arm in a choke hold around my neck. I had tried, but it was too risky to do anything when my dad and I were clearly outnumbered. 

Despite that, dad pulled out his own gun, aiming it at the man.“Let her go.”

Matthew’s dad laughed.“I know you’ll have some of your people hiding around here somewhere. But you’ve seen the weapons we carry today, and how many of us there are. You are under prepared.”

 Dad was still for a moment, suddenly whistling. I saw the men around me tense, wondering what my dad could be summoning. As expected, more men started to appear around my dad, a much larger group, some even rounding around the back so that we were surrounded. They all held weapons of some sort; guns, knives, knuckle dusters, anything of the sort. Matthew’s dad tried to not look effected, though you could tell he was shitting himself. 

“What were you saying about no bloodshed?" I smugly said to Matthew.

He frowned at me, taking me out of the man's arms and throwing me to the floor. He got out his own gun, once again placing it on my temple.

"I don't want to shoot her. But I will if you don't go through with our deal." he stated.

My hands were scraped, blood already trickling onto the ground. But I didn't moan, I didn't complain, worried that one slight move would set him off and he would shoot.

"You will put down your weapons, give me back my daughter, turn around, and walk away." dad said."We don't want to start a war between us. Look at my men, now look at yours. You will lose, and you will lose your lives along with it."

"How dare you threaten us-"

Matthew's dad interrupted."Shut up Matthew! This doesn’t mean you’ve won Shelby.”

Dad didn’t reply, lowering his gun but the others kept their weapons on display. Matthew’s dad was waiting for a reply, and when he didn’t get one, he sharply turned away. Matthew was shocked, glancing between me and him as he wondered what to do. Although I was desperate to run to dad, I slowly made a move to stand. Matthew kept his eyes glued on me. I slid off my beautiful engagement ring, now despising it, holding it up in front of his face, and letting it drop to the ground.

“In case you were wondering, the wedding is off.” I spat, instantly turning on my heel.

My body broke out into a sprint, throwing my arms around my dad’s neck as I burst into tears. My legs went weak as he clung onto me, reassuring me that I was safe now, I wouldn’t be hurt any longer. How could I have done such a thing? I turned my back on my family for a man I should have known more about. I had to face it, I was a Shelby, and it was going to be difficult to find someone who wanted me for me, not my name.

“I’m so sorry dad!” I sobbed.“Please forgive me! I don’t want to be hated by you forever. I need you. I love you!”

He calmly shushed me, as if I was a baby again.“It’s alright, it’s alright (Y/N). I’ve got you now. You’re my daughter, I would never hate you.”

“I’m sorry! I won’t ever leave you again.”

“Come on, let’s go home, eh?”

“Please.”

“You’re my family, you always will be. I’m always going to protect you (Y/N), always.”

[everysongineverykey]

I'M DONE. HERE. TAKE THESE CHAPTER 2 THOUGHTS AND RUN, BABY.

so i'll try to go in order here. uhhhh... there's a LOT i have to say. first: toriel giggling sprite my beloved

on that note, ALL THE NEW SUSIE SPRITES MY BELOVEDS

NOELLE YOU'RE SO GAY. I THINK THIS IS PROBABLY JUST BECAUSE I TOLD HER TO IN CHAPTER ONE BUT SHE GAVE SUSIE THE LUNCHBOX FULL OF CHALK!! I LOVE ITTTT

ralsei's, uh... kinda sus. the whole "recruiting" thing REALLY sketches me out. and he looks kinda... smug, all the time, like he knows what's going on.

LANCER JOINED! ROUXLS JOINED EVEN THOUGH NO ONE WANTED THAT! STARWALKER JOINED, TO EVERYONE'S JOY!

LIBRARY PORTALLLL

so before i entered the city there was that pre-city area? that looked very much like the city? except it had different music? and i thought they'd cut welcome to the city and i was SEVERELY disappointed. but then they didn't! just something i wanted to mention

NOELLE!!

throughout this game i went from despising berdly to feeling bad for him to not really liking him again, but not hating him as much as before. he'd better stay the fuck away from susie though

the queen is the best villain. she's the kind you love to hate! she's literally so funny AND her boss battle is actually tough (rip to the king but he just. wasn't a formidable enemy at all lol)

THE GANG CHARLIE BROWN DANCING TO WIN A FIGHT! SUSIE GAINING THE POWER TO ACT THROUGH SHEER FORCE OF WILL! SUSIE FORCING RALSEI TO LEARN TO ACT EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T WANT TO! THAT ENTIRE BATTLE WAS AMAZING! THE "BATTLE WON" END DANCING SEQUENCE! GOING INSANE GOING INSANE

the puzzles in this chapter were genuinely really impressive! i especially loved the word search puzzles and the ice-ee undertale word search reference💙

that being said. the mouse puzzles were SO fucking infuriating. i caused poor noelle a LOT of grief with those and i feel bad.

SPEAKING OF NOELLE!! the scene where she and kris are walking through the puzzle, the one that spells "december", and she's talking about when they were kids, how she loved sneaking out? beautiful. the cinnamon tography <3 also i guessed dess's full name was december a while ago and while i guess it was obvious, it's nice to have that confirmed!

also, i love that susie and ralsei are real friends in this chapter! he taught her a healing spell!!

ugh. fucking berdly. so smug and pretentious. i love queen's desire to be as far away from him as possible though

i also like his backstory. it gives his behavior, even if it's still annoying, at least some context. i get the feeling of feeling like if you're not smart, people will forget about you, and that's scary.

ALSO ALSO. GAMER BERDLY. LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT IS PERFECT. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GAMER!" "i only play mobile games, berdly." "NOOOOOO!" like i ADORE that

anyways. time for me to talk about the only thing that matters in this world: suselle. i mean, did the gays win in this chapter or DID THE GAYS WIN IN THIS CHAPTER?? THEY RODE A HEART-COVERED FERRIS WHEEL AND HAD A HEARTFELT, TENSION-FILLED CONVERSATION!

"did you ever wonder why the real susie never picked on you? well, maybe it's because... when you were both new to class, you lent her one of your pencils, like... maybe a dumb one with candy canes on it or something, and... even though it didn't actually taste like candy, she... remembered your smile." okay god thanks toby it's not like i needed my heart or anything

SERIOUSLY. TOBY "i'm gonna give the gays everything they want" FOX IS BACK WITH ANOTHER BANGER LADS

QUEEN'S BOSS BATTLE! ACTUALLY TOUGH, UNLIKE KING'S! AND GIGA QUEEN! I'M GOING INSANE THAT WAS SO SICK AND SO HARD

the way my heart BROKE when lancer turned to stone good god thank GOD our boy's okay

AND ROUXLS KAARD IN HIS PIRATE DUCK!! WITH HIS LITTLE HAT! DEMANDING THE QUEEN MAKE HIM BUTLER SUPREMETH! I LOVE HIM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF

also!! kris and ralsei's little moment on the swan boat💙 i wasn't a kralsei shipper before but uh... that may be starting to change

it's hard because ralsei's still suspicious but at the same time i love him and want him to be happy. i don't know how to feel

also, if darkners outside of their dark worlds turn to stone after a while, why didn't ralsei? that's, uhhh... VERY sus. very weird. mr fox i need ANSWERS

WE FINALLY HAVE A WAY TO SAVE AFTER WE'VE FINISHED MOST OF THE EPILOGUE LADS. REJOICE!!

seriously the thing that peeved me about ch1 was that the last save point was on the battle stage and if i wanted to play the epilogue again, i had to. do that entire battle all over. BUT NOW THAT'S BEEN FIXED!!

UNDYNE AND ALPHYS HAVE MET UNDYNE AND ALPHYS HAVE MET THIS IS NOT A DRILL UNDYNE GAVE HER A BOX OF CANDIES EVERYBODY SHUT UP THEY'RE IN LOVE ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD

ALSO! NEAR THE BEGINNING! I FORGOT TO MENTION THE LITTLE WHITE DOG DOING DONUTS IN A TOY RACE CAR AND BACKING UP TRAFFIC! THANK YOU LITTLE WHITE DOG!

on that note: "looks like a car. this one has a man in it. he waves at you happily." AND THEN THE MAN'S GONE??? HEY TOBY???

ALSO. THE SEGMENT WHERE THE ANNOYING DOG HELPS US FIND THE KEY THROUGH THE POWER OF WANTON DESTRUCTION. THE BEST PLOT DEVICE!

TORIEL TEACHING SUSIE TO MAKE PIE STOP ITTTTT

and yes yes i KNOW kris slashed toriel's tires. that was extremely troubling. but THEY MADE PIE TOGETHER!!

"leave the chalk alone, kris" TORIEL!!

sans and toriel making egg puns and asgore running in and going "don't forget me, your eggs-husband!" is the FUNNIEST sitcom moment type thing ever. GOD.

on the other hand sans let me meet your brother god dammit i'll kill you

METTATONNNNNNN

RUDY... "who got you these flowers?" "is it weird for a married man to get flowers?" "so your wife did?" "oh, no! kris's dad did!" "...not even gonna try to understand this..." TOBY STOP ITTTT YOU'RE GIVING THE ASGORUDY SHIPPERS FALSE HOPE. YOU KNOW YOU'RE JUST GONNA KILL RUDY. YOU'RE JUST RUBBING SALT IN THE WOUND!

NUBERT! MY MAN!

seeing kris repeatedly they-themmed by multiple characters makes me so happy <3 poor kid... "college summer vacation when" "you opened the door with your eyes closed. you saw nothing" kris....

KRIS...

fucking. BLACK FOG STORM IN THE LIVING ROOM KRIS STOP IT. HOW'RE THEY GONNA REVEAL THIS WAS INNOCENT? THE KNIFE IN CHAPTER ONE WAS EASY BUT HOW WILL THEY EXPLAIN THIS

the staticy tv appearing in the dark and a toothy smile slowly fading into view in the center and lingering there ominously for far too long >>>>>>> every hollywood horror movie ever god. GOD

snowy and monster kid checking out the red door. implying there's something in there. something that kris knows about. knowing we won't get any more deltarune content for 5+ years does NOT fill me with determination

also. gaster's symbolic theme being mus_smile. and the final image in the game being a smile. god. gaster's COMING lads.

onionsan hears a song at night... a familiar song... memory, perhaps? or maybe a certain... four-note arpeggio that's hidden in a sound test room in undertale? who knows? guess we'll just have to wait for chapters 3/4/5.

this concludes my ramblings for now, but don't get it twisted- this is FAR from the last post i'll make about ch2. this whole chapter was absolutely amazing! brilliant! showstopping!! i'm genuinely soooo super impressed and excited for the chapter 3/4/5 bundle!!!

[wolftraps]

Hey, what if Martin meets The Archivist because it’s been Watching him from a distance since it came, but then Jane Prentiss trapped Martin in his apartment, and the Archivist couldn’t have that, so it appeared to smite her. Martin’s stuck in his apartment when he hears Jon’s voice going “Ceaseless Watcher-“ and then Jane starts screaming. Once the screaming stopped, Martin peeked out of his apartment, worried about Jon, and saw the Archivist. Martin: Jon?! Archivist: I AM THE ARCHIVIST

(Cont) Anyway, Martin thinks that something has happened to Jon and takes the Archivist with him back to the Institute in the hopes that Tim and Sasha can help him reverse Jon back to normal. Only, when he gets there, Jon is already there. Cue shock and confusion from everyone. Elias, Seeing the Archivist and wondering if this means his Ritual works, drops in for a visit: hello :). Archivist, only seeing another Avatar near Martin: (bristles). Elias, realising that he’s in danger: goodbye

[this AU is going to devour me]

The knocking stops so abruptly it actually takes Martin a minute to notice, the phantom echoes of it still rattling in his mind. It’s the voices that make him realize something has changed. They’re muffled, indistinct, and he’s wary of getting too close to the door still. But after a moment of silence, he can’t resist anymore, pressing an ear to the wood.

The sound of the worms is still there, but it’s different now. More spasm than writhe. And beyond them, a man is not so much speaking as... as intoning.

“- the agony of all your noxious devotion. Ceaseless Watcher, see this parasite in all its pitiful, writhing forms. Hear its sour song, feel its ravenous love. It. is. yours.”

Martin can only describe the sound that follows as a shriek because he has no stronger words. It’s a distorted, agonized scream that stabs through him and rattles his bones, and for all he’d been terrified by Prentiss lurking outside his door, the idea of something that could make her make a sound like that is paralyzing. For minutes, or maybe hours, he stands frozen with a hand hovering over the door knob petrified of what he might find on the other side. And for that entire time, not a single sound filters through from the hall.

Finally, he can’t take it any longer. Bracing himself, Martin eases the door open. He wants to breathe a sigh of relief when no worms flood in, but he can’t, because there’s still something standing in his hall, staring straight at him. Something that looks like-

“Jon?” Martin asks, perturbed and shaken and maybe a bit irritated. “What- what are you doing here? Where- Did you see Prentiss? What happened to her? What happened to you?”

“Martin Blackwood,” Jon says- because it is Jon, right? He sounds like Jon. He looks like Jon... mostly. Except now that Martin is looking, there are several scars that he doesn’t remember Jon having, that he could almost swear were closing eyes just a moment ago. His hair is longer than Jon’s should be. His face is gaunter. He’s... shaking. “Are you afraid?”

“I- I mean, yeah? I’ve been pretty well terrified out of my mind since yesterday, thanks.” The man continues to stare and Martin knows he isn’t asking about Prentiss. “Sh- should I be?

“It would be wise.” Martin wants to be indignant at the vague pseudo-threat, but the shiver running up his spine cuts the feeling short. Jon- probably Jon?- maybe-Jon tilts his head and still doesn’t blink. Has Martin seen him blink at all? “I have discomforted you.”

“A- a bit, yeah. You’re being... kind of creepy.”

“Yes. I... I’m meant to apologize now.” He says it like he’s going through a checklist or a flow-chart of social rules. This is what happened, so this is what you should do. “I’m... sorry.”

“S-sure. Er, look, Jon. I think maybe we should- go back to the Archives? And maybe talk to the others about this?” And hopefully one of them will have some idea what the hell is wrong with their boss. Jon somehow gives off the impression of looking into space and considering the suggestion while never actually taking his eyes off Martin.

“Will accompanying you be a more sufficient apology?” What kind of question is that?

“It’s not really... I’d be more comfortable than I am here?” Jon nods.

“Then I will accompany you. You should gather your things.”

-

The trip to the Institute is passed mostly in silence. Jon watches the people around them intently, unblinkingly, but even when his face is turned away, it still somehow feels like he’s staring straight at Martin. Sometimes, when Jon is mostly a dark shape in his peripheral vision, Martin could almost swear he sees eyes open in places where none should be.

“Look, Jon-” Martin starts as they near the Institute and the silence has gotten too heavy for him to take.

“You shouldn’t call me that,” Jon cuts him off, though his tone is casual.

“S-sorry, what? I shouldn’t call you Jon? Why?”

“It will... discomfort him.”

“Who?” Martin already knows he’s going to hate the answer.

“Jonathan Sims.” Yep. He hates it.

“Al-alright. What should I call you then?”

The man who is not Jonathan Sims stands before the Magnus Institute and studies its façade. There’s something in his face, something like nostalgia, but also like disdain. He doesn’t look away from the building, but still he looks at Martin.

“I am the Archivist.”

-

Martin had hoped it would be more of a relief, when they finally made it into the archives. Instead he’s uncomfortably aware of the tension building inside him.

Tim looks up and seems surprised. “Martin! I thought you were sick. What are you... What the fuck.” He gapes at the Archivist, who takes in the archive while staring back and still somehow has not looked away from Martin. “Jon?!”

Whether it’s a summons or an incredulous question, the answer comes not from the man behind Martin but from the one exiting the office behind Tim.

“Yes, Tim? What-” Jon- the one Martin knows- the familiar one that makes Martin nervous but has never left him so terrifyingly unnerved- freezes.

“No,” the Archivist says in response to questions not asked. “I am not any of those things. What I am will not exist for a very long time and has both always and never existed before. None of those questions would help you understand.”

“Why-” Jon chokes, but can’t seem to finish the thought. After a few more false starts, he finally says, “You’re the Archivist, aren’t you? The one we’ve been getting statements about.”

“Yes.” In the long silence that follows, the sound of someone descending the basement stairs should have been clear, but the only reason Martin isn’t startled by Elias suddenly speaking directly behind him is because the Archivist turns to face him before he ever makes a noise.

“I see we have a guest,” Elias says, staring at the Archivist with a perturbingly hungry fascination. “Martin, wh-”

Martin stumbles back to his desk under the sudden weight of being Seen. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Tim drop into his own chair and Jon, the real Jon, press himself against the wall. Elias doesn’t so much as sway, but he still seems off-balance.

“You don’t want to know the things I know,” the Archivist tells him.

Elias glares. “I rather think I do. Te-”

A second set of eyes snaps open on the Archivist’s cheeks. Then another. And another. Over its face, its neck, its hands. The sense of a hundred, a thousand, piercing eyes hovers in the air around it.

“You can try to steal or blind or destroy as many of my eyes as you can perceive,” the Archivist says. “But I will always have more.”

When Elias leaves and the weight lifts and most of the eyes close, the Archivist is still watching Martin, but it unnerves him now in an entirely different way. And when Sasha comes in with a coffee, frantically apologizing for being late, and freezes at the sight of two Jons, there’s something bone-chilling about hearing the Archivist ask,

“Who are you?”

[mariesocuniverse]

Relationships: NCT 127

Maeil (aka Daily)

there are two meanings to their ship name

first is, of course, their names mashed together but the second meanings is much cuter and the one fans use to explain their dynamic

When Mae found out their ship name was Maeil her first reaction was “Oh? Is it because I make sure to let Taeil hyung I love him daily?” while cuddling Taeil on a couch

he’s the same age as Mae’s older brother so she treats him as such

her brother is literally like “Are you replacing me with Taeil? I’m your reall brother!” and she’s just there sweating

part of Taeil’s hype squad and will fight donghyuck for the position of president

like the two were on vlive and spent a good fifteen minutes arguing about their positions in the club Mae won but donghyuck refuses to acknowledge it

he could be doing something simple and you can see Mae in the background with a big smile cheering

he’s also like her personal teddy bear whenever she wants cuddles and/or wants to rest

there are just multiple gifs floating around nct twt of Mae tackling Taeil for a hug or her just clinging to him on a couch because she’s either tired and wants to rest or just wants cuddles

absolutely adores his voice

there are multiple compilations on youtube about all the times Mae compliments Taeil on his voice and him just blushing the whole time

Maenny

was lowkey intimidated bc the man is a fucking tree and basically towers over her

but then he saw him play around with some other trainees and that thought disappeared real quick

he’s more like the protective older brother than like a parent like Doyoung or Taeyong

can and has used his height to his advantage when it comes to scaring people who hurt Mae or do something to make her sad

he was one of the first people who found out about her old company and he looked like he was about to storm their building probably would’ve if it weren’t for Mae

one of the first people she became friends with because he always answered questions she had when she was a trainees

before debut there were times people could see Johnny walk somewhere and Mae is just trailing after him like a lost puppy more like running because the man’s legs are long and he walks faster

there was this one time someone asked where Mae was and Johnny just shuffled to the side to reveal her behind him

his large frame was just big enough to hide her from everyone’s vision unless you walk past the two

you know that one vid of predebut nct performing Under The Sea with Johnny wearing the fish head? Mae was supposed to join him dressed as Ariel but the idea was cut last minute

there was this one time Mae couldn’t see something bc she was too short so Johnny lifted her up and put her on his shoulders

okay enough about Mae’s height

during shows he’s always encouraging Mae to talk more when she seems unsure whether to give her input or not

johnny, after an interviewer asks a question: “what do you think Mae?”

absolutely melts whenever she does aegyo because no matter how old she is he’ll always see her as the cute kid who followed him everywhere

MaeTae

honestly it’s hard to pinpoint where Taeyong’s protective parental energy started getting directed to Mae

like it might’ve been somewhere predebut but she doesnt know when

she’s like 50% sure she just blanked out and suddenly Taeyong appeared in her life scolding her for not taking care of herself

it’s not like she’s complaining abt it she’s really grateful to have someone like him in her life

when her family got worried abt her joining a group filled with guys he personally went to her house and calmly explained how Mae will be taken care of and how the group will make sure that she’ll be safe

first person to know if there’s something between SM and Mae that the other members don’t know about

he was also the first member to know about what happened with Mae and her old company

she knows she can trust him with anything

he found her alone crying in one of the practice rooms and she just poured her heart out to him

Whenever they go places as a large group he looks for Mae first before counting the other members

she got lost once and now he doesnt want her out of his sight for more than five minutes

she got him a “world’s greatest dad” trophy as a joke that he has on a shelf in his room

YuMae

you know how yuta acts with mark and winwin? yeah he does the same for Mae

if he isnt giving a hug to mark he’s all the way across the room with Mae giving her a back hug

Mae: does nothing

Yuta: aigoo look how cute she is :)

she doesnt ignore him tho she just returns the affection

likes to jump on his back for a piggy back ride or just run and jump to give him a hug

there was this one clip that went viral of Yuta talking to someone and he just pauses for a moment before turning around to catch Mae, who seemingly came out of nowhere, into a hug and turned back to his conversation

neither yuta nor the other person seemed fazed so this seemed like a regular occurrence to them

he teaches her japanese!

its beneficial to both of them because Mae can learn and Yuta won’t forget any Japanese while living in Korea :D

really really really loves his smile

like real whipped (A/N i wrote this while watching the under the sea performance and now im going through it)

like she sees him smile and that makes her smile and that makes fans smile

Can and has glared at “fans” and other people who make her uncomfortable whether it be at the airport or during their schedules

There was this one time Mae was walking ahead of him when there were fansites following them and he just pulled her back into his arms because he noticed an anti of hers was nearby

It’s like a lion trying to protect a kitten

2Young

again did not know how Doyoung because like a parent to Mae but she just ended up rolling with it

She just has this aura to her that makes you want to care of her and give her love

whenever they go eat together with the group he always put food on her plate, regardless of whether the managers glare at him or not he glares back anyway so they back off

“doyoung she’s been put on a diet-” “she’s going to eat whether you like it or not”

one time Mae got sick with a fever and he just burst into her room with medicine and soup

if taeyong has the “world’s greatest dad” trophy doyoung has the “world’s greatest mom” trophy that he says he’ll throw it away but has it perched on his desk

Mae’s also one of the members who like to clown him

she’s the one of the reasons he already has gray hairs

Mae has a folder of embarrassing photos of Doyoung’s childhood that his brother sent to her and refuses to delete it

she cant do anything about them tho bc Doyoung got his own folder of babie Mae pics courtesy of Mae’s older brother

Haechan has tried and failed to gain access to either of those folders

MaeHyun

major sibling energy

but not like the bickering kind of energy but more like very soft and uwu

there are a lot of people asking them “are you sure you’re not related?” during interviews and fansigns

Fans are just waiting for the two to do a duet bc come on SM you have a real life Disney prince and princess here

Let Mae be the Jasmine to Jaehyun’s Aladdin and perform A Whole New World together

She likes to poke his dimple

There’s this one vid where Jaehyun and Mae are sitting together and she just pokes his dimple and Jaehyun’s smile gets bigger

joked about if he could let her meet yugyeom and bambam bc of 97line and he just went no <3

when jaehyun was inkigayo’s mc nobody could approach her with the infamous inkigayo sandwich bc she was always with him not like anyone could try considering mae has several bodyguards wherever she goes

you know how jaehyun won the alpaca plushie in nct life? he gave it to mae bc he know how much she loved plushies

Honestly the majority of the plushies in her room were given to her by jaehyun

She has a bear named after him uwu

MaeWoo

Loves the energy he gives and thinks he’s so funny

He never fails to make her laugh whenever she needs cheering up

they used to be shy around each other when he first joined the group but they caught each other having a midnight snack so they just talked at 3am eating ramen until doyoung found them and told them to go to bed

now it’s just tradition for them to go to a convenience store together and eat ramen or whatever snacks they decide to get

nobody is allowed to join them its only a MaeWoo thing  

Mae has natural aegyo but Jungwoo has taught her to use it to her advantage which she does but not often

Another one of Mae’s cuddle buddies

She just thinks he looks so soft so she just clings to him whenever he’s nearby

Major uwu energy over here when it comes to the two of them together

idk why but i dont see him as the type to be protective when it comes to her dating

he’s more like

“you dont have a boyfriend yet? damn people dont know what they’re missing”

or on the other side of the spectrum

“good luck to your future boyfriend he’ll need it if he’s gonna date you”

2Ma/MaeKyung

Older brother that doesn’t feel like an older brother

Majority of the time he kinda just feels like they’re the same age or younger so newer fans get shocked when they find out she’s younger

Like there was this one time Johnny the two were playing Smash Bros and Mark was whining because he lost and Mae was jumping in the background cheering it was his fourth loss in a row but he won’t say it

they were kinda awkward around each other at first so johnny literally had to stick them in a room together and didn’t let them leave until they talked to each other

it worked and they just vibed and rambled about different topics like trainee life and what mark’s life in Vancouver was like

speaking of Vancouver

one time during their stay in Vancouver they wanted to have a friend date but he lost her at a mall and took twenty minutes trying to find her until she used the announcement service to call him

he wouldve ask his Vancouver friends to go with them but some of them had a crush on mae so no <3

When she first starting writing songs and her own lyrics she went to Mark first and asked if the lyrics she wrote were good

They were amazing and Mark made sure to tell her that :D

mae’s reaction to his dream graduation was one of the saddest things czennies have seen so when she found out he was coming back she would not let go of him

Literally could not stop smiling whenever mark was with the rest of dream filming for Resonance

It’s just very wholesome and czennies are willing to riot if SM decides to separate them

Maechan

You know how I said Maehyun was the soft and uwu type of siblings? Well Maechan are the bickering type of siblings

You know the ones who like to bicker over minor things but still would protect each other for life

they have so much dirt on each other on trainee days lmao

Haechan to Mae: lmao what a loser

Haechan when someone insults Mae: listen here you little shit

The only person allowed to clown her is him and the rest of NCT

he heard a trainee talk shit about her once and they still can’t look haechan in the eye

he’s only a few months older than her but he uses the “i’m older!” card whenever he can

“i’m older therefore i get to go first” “excuse me sir but you’re only three months older than me” “but im still older”

they fight for the title of the favorite 127 maknae but they both know that can do what they want

Mae is more lenient towards the hyungs during yaja time than haechan is tho so she just vibes whenever they go to scold him when the games over

they do team up a lot so they’re a menace when they do something together

especially in games

their competitive nature plus their brain power together? its over it even started

50% of the time they have to be separated from each other when it comes to choosing teams

the other 50% is someone choosing both of them because they want that easy win

Those two are willing to risk it all even for a bag of chips