#anyway it's helping me concentrate at my job when i had a very awkward meeting about my hours being cut to a third of the current

[starlit-mansion]

i hate my worst (and nearly only) ex to this day but she did burn me a typo o negative cd so i guess it wasnt all bad lmao

[dollslayer]

Sweeter Endings

Sugar Daddy!Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Still reeling from the financial realities of losing your mother you turn to a lucrative website for help and get more than you could have bargained for.

W/C: 5,325

Warnings: Smut (no minors 18+ only), light D/S dynamics, brief mentions of alcohol consumption, unprotected sex, swearing

A/N: NO MINORS, I wrote this for @donutloverxo 's Sugary 4k Challenge (Congrats!!) I love sugar daddy AUs so I was really excited to write this!! If you like it then please like/reblog/comment I'm all ears! Also maybe check out my other stuff if you want! Cheers!

Main Masterlist

____

The saying ‘desperate times call for desperate measures’ was truer than you’d ever imagined and you found out the hard way. Life had hit you hard last year. You had watched your mother succumb very quickly to cancer. A cold that just wouldn’t go away turned into a doctor’s visit turned into three months left to live. Having no one else in her life, the cost of her funeral and medical bills fell to you. The bills outweighing the inheritance you had no choice but to drop out of school.

One year later you were hanging on by threads to keep yourself off the streets without turning to a loan shark or selling yourself. Stocking shelves at a bougie grocery store in Soho by day and bartending in Tribeca by night had you working six days a week. What free time you had you were too exhausted to do anything with. Something had to give or you were going to collapse from the stress, you just didn’t know what.

A couple weeks ago you had been casually venting about how broke you were with a coworker when she jokingly suggested signing up for one of those Sugar Daddy sites. You laughed along with her but it sounded better than getting a third job. You had quietly asked one of your roommates to borrow their laptop saying you needed to look at job postings only half a lie, really and locked yourself in your room.

You were just gonna check out the website, maybe sign up and poke around, it didn’t mean you were committing to anything, just looking. You remembered first looking at the website once your shitty wifi loaded it, promising ‘beautiful and successful people making mutually beneficial connections’. You balked after reading that but you couldn’t look at any profiles without making one yourself so you had set to work.

After making your profile you hadn’t gotten any hits in about a week so you shrugged it off. You couldn’t keep hogging your roommate’s computer anyways so you set off back to work. Your days at the store wore on into endless nights at the bar and you wondered what other options you really had when you had no degree and no experience in any relevant field.

___

6 o’clock on a Thursday night, the typical after work crowd begins to roll in. The bar you work in is upscale, classy. Definitely trying to lure in the businessmen that worked in the area and their wallets. It annoyed you to deal with the same type of customers you did at the store all over again but with the high end crowd came good tips so you couldn't complain too much.

It was busier than usual when a group of men in suits walked in together asking for a booth. You saw a lot of business meetings take place over whiskey sours in this place so you didn’t think much of it. You tried your best to keep tending to your regulars when a pair from the group came over.

One of the men had deep brown eyes and a sly grin that when split gave you the perfect view of the gap between his teeth. He was confident but he had a kind look to him. His friend had dirty blond hair and a beard that clung to his perfect jawline and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t snuck a second look. You turned your back and continued filling orders to distract yourself when one of them cleared their throat behind you.

As you turned to face them you found it was the blond calling after you. His face held a hint of surprise but it was quickly replaced by a look of amusement as he smirked and one brow lifted, like he knew something you didn’t. He was like any other typical customer for you, professional and handsome, probably over-confident in himself. You returned his smirk and prepared your best charming banter. Time to earn those tips.

“Something to drink for you, gentleman?” You offered.

“We’d like a round of scotch for the table over there. You don’t mind bringing it over, do you sweetheart?” the brown-eyed man asked.

“Of course not” you answered. Pricks.

“Good girl” the blond said with a wink. Creep. A hot creep but still. Before you could ask he took his card out of his wallet and put it on the counter for the tab.

____

A round had come and passed, soon they’d asked for another but this time it was just the blond that approached you. You lifted your eyebrows in anticipation of an order.

“You here often?” he asked. Ugh, not even a good pick up line.

“Am I here at my job often?” You retorted with a playful smile.

The man’s shoulders shook as he chuckled. “Sorry you just uh, you look familiar that’s all. What’s your name?”

You supplied him with it and asked him if he wanted another round of scotch. He nodded.

“Smart girl, I’m Steve by the way.” He laid down his business card which you picked up with a look of challenging curiosity. Steve Rogers, CEO of Shield inc.

Oh. You didn’t recognize the name but you definitely knew the company. It felt like a quarter of their employees stopped in for a drink throughout the week and it was prominent enough of a company that you read about it weekly. Play it cool, these types want to feel like an every-man at the bar but still wanna feel important.

You raised your eyebrows again in recognition. “Nice to meet you, Steve, I’ll have your round right out.”

“Good Girl” he winked again at you. Okay so it’s hot, but he’s a total stranger and you don’t even know him. Stay on your game.

___

10 o’clock came around and things were thinning out slightly, regulars made their way out, awkward Tinder dates and rowdy young 20-somethings made their way in. The party of businessmen was still around but they were hopefully wrapping up after the 2 more rounds they’d had. Steve approached the bar once more and you preemptively picked up the bottle of scotch.

“Whoa, easy, girl! I’m here to pick up the tab” He said, taking out his wallet.

“What’s the name on the tab?” You decided to play dumb but based off the grin on his face he knew you were playing with him.

“Steve. Rogers.” He replied, his tone was stern but his eyes told you he was in on the joke.

You cashed him out and left him to sign his receipt so you could make more drinks. You saw him move in your peripheral and turned your head to see his face.

“Have a good night, sweetheart. I’ll be seein’ ya” he promised.

“Take care!” You smiled back.

A few minutes later you circled back to collect his receipt and found three $100 bills staring back at you. You blinked dumbly in disbelief, who the hell leaves a 200% tip? Looking around to see if Steve was still here he was nowhere to be found. You had no choice but to pocket the money.

____

Another week went by and left you wondering how much energy and concentration it would take for you to just evaporate, since that seemed easier than going to work today. Sadly still in solid form, you punched in at the store and stowed your things in your locker.

Your upscale customer base was a mostly pretentious and successful group of yuppies so even though you were grateful to not be on the streets you were constantly reminded of the professional success you couldn’t help but feel that you were missing out on. Stuck instead to listen to incessant whining ‘is this organic? I won’t eat it unless it’s organic’.

The upside of this job was that the time went by quickly because you always had so much to do. Plus with how monotonous the work was it was easy enough to zone out. So much so that you hadn’t heard someone calling your name and approaching you. A hand softly touching your shoulder snapped you into the present.

You looked up, startled to find a pair of blue eyes staring back into yours. You took a step back and processed who it was. “CEO guy?” Steve?

“‘CEO guy?’ I thought I recognized you, ‘barmaid’ or should I say… ‘stock girl?’” He joked using his fingers to make quotations.

Now that you thought about it, the store isn’t that far at all from the bar, it would make sense if he’s in the area. You smiled and tapped your nametag in response.

“I just came in on my lunch to grab a few groceries” looking down at his basket it held some protein powder, some eggs, and one lonely banana. “Clearly, I’m single. But you’d know that already, wouldn’t you?”

Your brows twinged together in confusion. What is that supposed to mean?

“Excuse me?”

He edged a little closer to you and lowered his voice “SeekingConnection.com?”

Your eyes widened in shock. The fucking Sugar Daddy site! I forgot about that! Surprise was quickly replaced with humiliation. You looked down and away as you felt your cheeks heat up.

“I don’t mean to embarrass you” Steve placated, “But I gotta say, I’m pretty hurt you never responded to me. I sent that message weeks ago and let’s just say I’m not used to rejection.” He kept his tone light, letting you know he wasn’t mad.

“I-I um, I’m sorry, I don’t have a computer and they don’t have an app, I was using my roommates’ computer and I guess I forgot about it…” You admitted.

Steve nodded in acknowledgement. Please say something to salvage this conversation. Please.

“Well,” Steve rummaged in his pocket for another business card. “You got a pen on you?”

You dug around in your apron and came up with one. Handing it to him you watched as he wrote on the back of the card. He held the card and the pen out to you.

“That’s my number, I’d ask for yours but I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable, you already look like you wanna sink through the floor” Not helping, but I do. You took them from him and tucked them away in the pocket of your apron.

“You do have a phone right?” You only glared at him in response. “Well, if you check your profile, you would’ve seen I asked you out to lunch, offer still stands. Just text me when you’re free”

Should I even say yes? I mean, the winking the other night was weird but he’s good looking and at least somewhat considerate. I mean, it’s not like I had any other intention when I signed up for that site. What the hell. right?

“I… usually work mid shifts so I don’t know if lunch is doable, they only give me half an hour but, maybe we could do coffee? I’ve got tomorrow off from the bar I could meet you” you suggested.

If Steve felt pity for you he hid it well behind the wide smile he made when you offered coffee instead.

“There’s a place around the corner from here, just up a block, you know it? I’m off tomorrow at 6, why don’t you meet me there?”

“Sounds like a plan.” He winked at you again and started walking away. What the hell just happened?

____

You did end up borrowing your roommate’s computer once again when you got home to look up Steve’s DM. Sure enough, there he had been in all his internet glory. ‘Steve, 33, CEO. likes: art, conversation, whiskey. Digging around further on his profile you found that he owned several houses here and in Europe, he had a dog that was cuter than he was, and that he was ‘Seeking deeper connection’. All of these things piqued your interest.

‘Hey, Doll. Saw your profile and I had to ask, what’s a girl like you doing in a place like this? Kidding, of course. But maybe you’d care to tell me your story over lunch? Your profile says we’re both in New York. - Steve’ Sent three weeks ago. Fuck.

You had texted him earlier to confirm, which is how you found yourself walking up the sidewalk towards the shop with a mind running rampant with nervous thoughts. What if he just wants to feel big about himself in comparison to me? What would I even really have to offer the relationship? A college dropout working two dead-end jobs with no social life. You needed to snap yourself out of it. You were just meeting for coffee doesn’t mean anything.

Pushing open the door you found Steve waving at you from a quiet corner. He was still in a suit, presumably coming from work himself. Even the buttons on his shirt looked expensive. You were wearing dirty jeans and a worn pair of work boots paired with a flannel. You couldn’t have looked more different if you tried.

“I waited for you to order,” He said. You smiled up at him, only now realizing how tall he was in comparison to you. He ushered you both towards the counter where you both placed your orders. You moved to take your wallet from your purse but he had already beat you there.

“Really? As if I’d let the lady pay, and on the first date no less?” He said playfully.

“Oh, so this is a date now, is it?” You kidded.

Steve shoved his hands in his pockets and gave you that boyish grin and a shrug. The pair of you made your way back to the table and waited for your drinks to be brought over.

“How was work?” You asked, “What exactly is it that your company does?”

“We offer security and surveillance software domestically as well as international. Stadiums, airports, other government buildings. Things of that nature. And work was fine, thank you for asking” Steve said with a genuine smile. “How was your day, doll?”

“Oh, my day was fine, more of the same but y’know,” You answered half-heartedly.

“You know, you never answered me, what’s a funny, pretty gal like you doing on a site like that?”

Embarrassment hit you again, this time maybe accompanied with a hint of shame. You were saved momentarily by your drinks being delivered. He seemed truly interested and since he was paying you supposed you owed him an answer.

“I was going to Columbia and I had a pretty good internship when my mom got diagnosed with cancer. She died three months later and since it was only always just the two of us I ended up footing the bill. I was on partial scholarship but between the hospital and the funeral I can’t really afford the rest of tuition on top of working for free so here I am” you explained, “Oh my god, I’m sorry I’m totally oversharing aren’t I? You probably don’t wanna hear about a bummer like this, sorry”

You tried to laugh to ease the tension you thought you’d created. Braving a look at Steve, he looked thoughtful and only a little bit like he pitied you. You could live with that.

“I’m really sorry about your mom, mine also got really sick before she died, I know it must’ve been hard. What were you in school for?”

___

You and Steve talked for hours, trading anecdotes of childhood and talking about each other’s interests. You had a similar sense in humour so you got on swimmingly. The evening seemed to be coming to a close as the night sky sent in through the window.

Being with Steve was probably the most relaxed you’d felt since before your mom was diagnosed. It became difficult to focus on anything but your financial situation and even though that’s what brought you here in the first place you had managed to forget all about it.

“So look, us getting together wasn’t exactly the most conventional on meet-cutes but to put it bluntly,” He said, “The CEO life makes it hard to meet real people and it gets kinda lonely, I mean, you saw my grocery basket” You both laughed at that. “You need money and I need company, I feel like we could help each other out. Whad’ya say? Think you could put up with me?”

You knew what this was but hearing it put so plainly was a little surprising. At least he was to the point.

“So if I said yes what does that mean, exactly?” you inquired.

“Well,” he started, “We take care of each other. Let me cover some of your bills at the very least, make it so you’d be comfortable quitting at least one of your jobs. And you’d keep me company, we go on dates, maybe you could come over, there’s the occasional work event or charity gala I’d need you on my arm for. Thoughts?”

God I can’t even imagine what it’s like to work only one job anymore. Maybe I could even save up and go back to school. He’s cute and he seems sensible, why not?

“Could we maybe take things slow? What you describe is something I’m down for but I don’t want to make myself completely dependent on you. But I’d love to be there for you, and I have to admit, the thought of only working one full time job is pretty crazy to me” You laughed.

Steve swallowed and placed one of his large, warm hands over yours.

“I can do things the old fashioned way, if that’s what you’d feel good with. I gotta say though, with looks like that it’s not gonna be easy” he jested.

You smiled shyly and looked away. You both stood to leave and he held the door open for you.

“I’ve already got your number from when you texted me earlier but I’ll talk to my assistant about my schedule and maybe I could take you out to dinner this weekend?”

“I um, I’d really like that. It’s a date” You stated.

“Oh, so you think this is a date now?” He jested.

You lightly punched him in the arm and he took the opportunity to pull you closer to him. You looked up to find his face inches from yours. You could smell his aftershave and his deep voice gave you goosebumps when he spoke next.

“I kinda want to kiss you goodnight, would that be okay?”

You could only nod as he shut his eyes and closed in. Your lips met in one perfect, chaste kiss. You sighed and leaned into his hand as it briefly cupped your face.

You broke apart and made promises to see each other soon. You felt like you could’ve floated home as you boarded the subway, caught up in the swarm of newly forming feelings.

_____

You sat in the break room when your phone buzzed to life, ‘Saturday at 7?’

You were about to type out a yes when you forgot you worked closing at the bar. Your thumbs moved quickly to tap out the reply ‘Working, sorry :/ the pitfalls of bartending. Sunday at 7?’

You were nervous telling him no and asking to change plans. You hated not being able to make things work but you only just met the man and the weekend tips were killer, it’s not like you could turn the shift down.

‘Ah yes, almost forgot. Sunday works too, I’ll text you the details. What’s your address? I’ll pick you up’

Oh, God. Steve can’t see my building! His cufflinks probably cost more than my rent!

‘I’ll just meet you there, don’t worry about it’

‘Not a chance, doll. Just tell me where and I’ll come get you’

You let out a worried sigh but knew you had to let it go. You sent him your address and went back to work.

____

Saturday was maybe the longest day in your entire week, in fact you loathed it. Mornings at the store followed by running immediately to the bar. Last call in New York was 4am so it’s a good thing you didn’t try to make brunch plans with Steve for Sunday. But ultimately both your shifts passed without major incident and now it was Sunday and you tried to ready yourself the best you could.

The place Steve mentioned was fancy, you knew that much from a quick search. Panicking instantly upon realizing you don’t really have any nice clothes you turned to your most fashionable roommate for help. She loaned you a cocktail dress that was revealing enough to draw interest without giving everything away. You just hoped Steve would like it.

‘Downstairs, doll. Silver BMW’ you exhaled. Hoo boy, here we go.

____

Steve handed his keys to the valet and rushed around to open your door for you. You held his hand and you clambered onto the sidewalk in your heels. His warm hand on the small of your back as he steered you towards the doors was a comforting weight.

Dinner has been lovely so far, he chose a place that wasn’t completely white-glove but was upscale enough to make you feel only a little underdressed.

You joked back and forth with him over the course of the meal, talked about your lives, and even found out you both have a guilty pleasure for cheesy rom-coms. It wasn’t until dessert and your third glass of wine came that you realized how much time had passed. You frowned slightly thinking of the early morning ahead of you followed by a long night at the bar.

“What’s wrong, doll?”

“Oh, nothing I just didn’t realize how late it was, I’ve got both jobs tomorrow it’ll just be a long day that’s all” you tried to wave it off but Steve frowned in response.

“Quit the bar” he stated.

“What?”

“Quit the bar. This is your card, I’ve already loaded $3000 on there. Put me in touch with your landlord and I’ll get you taken care of.” He slid the card across the table to you. Your name printed on the front. This got real very quickly.

“Steve, that’s.” You were in shock, a loss for words almost “that’s too much, I don’t know what to say.” You felt embarrassed taking the money. You knew that was the essence of your arrangement but actually taking his money had you feeling uneasy.

“Honey, this is what I’m here for. Let me take care of you. Give up your late nights. I wanna take you out on the weekends and you’ll need to be available for events. You can stay at the store if you want but quit the bar, you don’t need it.”

You took a deep sigh. He did say he wanted you to be comfortable quitting one of your jobs; it's just making the change that scares you. But something about Steve felt safe so you nodded and looked up to him.

“I’ll put in my two weeks”

“Good girl” he patted your knee and you involuntarily clenched your thighs. He smirked at that but let it go.

____

A few months had come and gone since that night and your time with Steve had been great. Only working the one job gave you so much more free time. You'd spent a good chunk of it just trying to form a normal sleep schedule but all the time you spent with Steve made it difficult. Not that you minded especially since your allowance was monthly but he’d showered you with gifts here and there.

They started off small, perfume, chocolates and flowers, or a simple pair of white gold hoops that reminded him of you. They gradually became pricier and more elaborate. You’d felt guilty accepting it all at first but he was insistent you deserve the best. He had even mentioned you moving out maybe finding a better place but you reminded him you needed to go slow.

He’d also been nothing short of a gentleman. Out in public at least, you’d learned the hard way that he was an absolute animal in bed. It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep your hands off of him.

Something you had appreciated about Steve is that he never made you feel bad or less than for being broke. Never held his money over your head like leverage. You’d felt equal to him in all aspects, understanding you had just as much say as he did.

Still, there was a small nagging voice in the back of your head that reminded you Steve is not your boyfriend. This isn't a relationship and he's looking to get something out of just like you are. But if you were being honest you were catching feelings, it was hard not to when the man was giving you the fantasy. You decided to push that voice aside whenever it came up and let yourself be swept away. Maybe that would bite you in the ass but for now you were happy.

____

You were buzzed into Steve’s building and on the elevator ride up to his penthouse your phone buzzed. ‘I have to make a quick call- I’ve got a present waiting for you in the living room.’ You couldn’t help but feel giddy.

The doors opened and Steve was nowhere in sight but as you entered the living room a bag from Chanel and the Apple Store sat on the table. Oh god, what this time? I swear this man is too much.

You opened the smaller bag from Chanel first and found a beautiful black and white evening bag. It was sleek and simple, very much to your tastes. You were nervous to open the Apple bag, Steve always went overboard. Shakily removing the paper you pulled out the slim case in disbelief. A MacBook Air and a pair of AirPod Pros. The man well and truly spoiled you.

“You said you didn’t have a computer.” His voice came from behind you and startled you.

“Steve, this is too much. You’re too much.” You swung your arms around his neck and kissed him.

“Nothin’s too much for you, doll.” He kissed the top of your head.

“Think you could take a couple days off of work? I just got off the phone and confirmed plans for my house in Nice.”

A trip? France?? Oh my god. How is this my life? You felt so overwhelmed that you grabbed Steve by the collar and brought his face down to meet you in a kiss. His tongue swiped your lips and you granted him entrance. Moaning into his mouth your hands traveled up into his hair, pulling softly and coaxing a groan out of him.

He guided you to sit on the couch and brought you down into his lap. You ground down onto him and felt his hard-on through his slacks. Your hand moved slowly to undo the buttons of his shirt as he kissed down your jaw towards your neck. You sighed softly when he found your sweet spot and started sucking.

He helped you take off his shirt while you got started on his belt and undid his pants. He lifted himself off the couch slightly to move them down to his knees, taking his briefs with them. His cock stood proud and an angry red, leaking at the tip.

“I wanna ride you, I can’t wait.” You pouted as you writhed against him in need.

Steve tutted at you “that’s no way to get what you want. Ask me nicely, baby. Beg to ride my cock,”

You ground down even harder and whined. “Please, sir, please let me ride your cock. I need to feel you, I can’t wait any longer please.”

“Good Girl” Steve's hands flipped up your skirt and found your panties, ripping them to shreds. They were La Perla and had cost a pretty penny but he didn’t care.

He lined himself up and brought you down harshly gripping your hips. You moaned loudly in surprise and satisfaction and wasted no time moving back and forth. Steve made you feel so close and connected to him whenever he fucked you but he still made you feel sordid and dirty. You couldn’t get enough of the feeling, you’d gladly chase it.

His eyes were hooded as watched you chase your own pleasure and giving him some in return. His hands kneaded your ass and smacked it just to get a gasp out of you. He grabbed the back of your head and brought you in for a searing kiss that was all teeth and tongue. He’d nip at you and lick the pain away.

His hips met yours, finding your rhythm and speeding you both up when he gripped your hips.

“Can’t wait to have me, you had to fuck me on the couch huh?” Steve panted, “my dirty girl. So fuckin’ gorgeous.”

You put your forehead against his and went harder, pushing your clit to grind against the muscles of his abs.

“Only yours, sir.” Your orgasm was building. Steve was a pretty relaxed dom but you still needed permission.

“Sir, please let me cum I can’t wait any longer” you tried your best to slow your movements a bit.

“I think you can hold it baby, I wanna enjoy you a little longer”.

You could only whine in response and tried to slow your pace but his grip on your hips and his own movements pushed you further and further towards the edge. You tried to squirm out of his grasp but his hands only tightened. It felt like forever until Steve finally gave you permission.

“Go on baby, cum for me you earned it. Fuck your self on my cock and cum all over me”

Your movements were frantic, desperate to chase your orgasm when finally the perfect angle of his cock inside you and your clit against him set you free. You cried out above him and dug your nails in deep.

Steve held you firmly in place and started slamming into you from below, finally letting himself think about cumming. All you could do was hold on for mercy. Moments later he brought you down onto him one final slam as he came inside of you with a cry.

The only sound in the room was both of you trying to catch your breath. You sighed again and collapsed against him, nuzzling your face into his neck. He kissed the side of your face and let you make yourself at home while he caressed your back.

____

One shower and two more orgasms later you were both clean and made your way to the kitchen. Steve was gathering the ingredients for dinner when you hugged him from behind. Your head resting against his back. Steve twisted around and hugged you in full. You both stayed like that for a moment until you looked up at him.

You were so content. Moments like this where you were just domestic were some of the best between you. It wasn’t about money or material, it was just the two of you making dinner and enjoying each other, no barriers.

“Are you really going to take me to France?” Your voice came out muffled against his chest.

“Of course, doll. After dinner I want you to use your new laptop to buy some outfits for the trip. I left my card in your new purse.”

You lifted onto your tiptoes and kissed his nose.

“You really do think of everything, don’t you?”

“What can I say? I’m a planner” he retorted.

You didn’t know it yet but Steve was going to ask you to become official while you were there. He wasn’t worried in the slightest. In fact he’d never been so sure about something in his life.

[alreadyblondenow]

Sweet | Jung Jaehyun

❤︎ Jaehyun x female!reader ❤︎ Fluff? Smut, Smut, Smut, Smut, Tiny bit of angst, College AU, Established relationship ❤︎ 2/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |

Summary: Jaehyun has always been in love with you but he thinks so highly of you that he never tried pursuing his feelings for you. All throughout your college years, Jaehyun endured every heartbreak secretly whenever you have a new boyfriend and can only love you secretly in his own ways. Wild. College years was wild and its all because of Jaehyun. After college, you and Jaehyun parted ways but life will reunite you again in the most shocking way. Jaehyun’s wedding.  

Word count: 13,707k

Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, and loads of sex, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, making of sex tape (with consent), making of amateur porn? (with consent), cam boys and cam girl?? idk what to call that but they fuck live, mentions of alcohol, period fingering, mentions of tampon, dry humping, oral sex female receiving, mentions of blowjob, slight blowjob scene,  mentions of other idols, swearing, college students who just wanna have fun haha, kissing and touching, fingering, and slight nipple play, mentions of having sex with Johnny. AH SLIGHT BREAK UP SEX! 

A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. okay, I know I said that this will be out on Jaehyun’s birthday but meh whatever I’m posting it and will post something else for hearts day. hehe. I hope you guys love this even though im just experimenting and trying to write longer fics, and seriously I wanted to write back to back smut with different feels so I guess im crossing that out of my bucket list. Also this is proof read once only so sorry. You may not be happy with the ending but I’m sure as hell happy with it so sorry. ​

Humans are prone to fall in love with the wrong people and the only thing you can do about it is to forgive yourself and move on. No matter how much history you had, no matter how many special moments or intimate ones you shared… if you know that he or she is not the right person for you then, you know.

Like this moment right now. For exactly ten minutes, you will realize why you and a certain someone never worked out.

“Hey, boss you have a 10 am meeting. Planning for everything” Your assistant says as you double-check your schedule to see the name of the client she’s talking about. “That’s the bride though, 0% progress for the wedding” she added.

“Yikes” you murmur and ready your stuff, “let’s fix that and give her a beautiful wedding. I need you to take down everything she says while I talk to her” you straighten your clothes and fix yourself before you face the client.

The moment you enter the room, the bride greets you with a big smile like she’s saying ‘thank you for saving me and my wedding’ even though you literally haven't done anything yet. Oh, you love seeing those hopeful eyes in every bride. “I’m just waiting for my fiancé, he’s the one who recommends coming here and I have a great feeling that I will have a beautiful wedding because of you”

“And my team,” you added and finished her sentence, “I want to introduce you to my assistant, she will be taking care of every request you say during our discussion later”

“And I want to introduce you to my fiancé, Jaehyun,” she said with a big smile and walked towards his fiancé.

And just like that your ordinary day at the office became extraordinary. Because nothing is normal about Jung Jaehyun, nothing is normal about those dimpled smile that automatically makes your heart skip a beat.

“Baby, this is the wedding organizer” her smile has no hint of mock, she’s not even proud that she has a very handsome fiancé and obviously she doesn’t know who you are. She’s just happy that she’s marrying Jaehyun. That’s all. And in those eyes, you see that Jaehyun is in the right hands.

“Mhmm. Me, Johnny, and Ms. Y/n right here are dorm mates. So you’re talking to the best wedding organizer,” you snorted at what Jaehyun said.

“Thank you for that introduction Jung, now let’s talk about your wedding”

And so, you worked your magic to them the whole morning. Explaining things, showing stuff, asking them what they want. From the wedding reception, wedding dress appointments, and picking of cakes… she has no idea of what she wants. Good thing you do know what you’re doing and you planned everything smoothly after a few hours. And for hours and hours, you watched them smile at each other, lowkey flirted in front of you but you didn’t feel any jealousy, hurt, or regret.

When the exhausting meeting was finally done and finally you’re alone at your office, a soft knock brought you back to reality and a familiar voice was behind it. “Can I come in?” Jaehyun asks.

“Of course, it’s open” you watch him enter your office like he’s some kind of a ghost and made the room cold in an instant.

“I just want to say thank you for helping us out- thank goodness the world is small… Literally, the wedding will be a mess”

“Just doing my job Jae,” you smiled sweetly to him, “your fiancé is lovely-“

“I did love you Y/n. And I’m sorry for hurting you like that, I told you, you deserve better. I’m glad we both found our happiness” he flashed that dimpled smile again and thanked you one last time.

The little reunion ended with small smiles, nods here and there, and in just a few seconds Jaehyun is out from your office and quickly replaced by your assistant to give you your afternoon coffee. Awkward and curious, she placed the coffee in front of you. Obviously, she wanted to know your past with the groom. And when she finally dropped the question, you remembered everything, moments crashing and drowning you right this instance.

Eight years ago  

“Are you even trying, you’re no fun!”  

Your best friend shouts at you from the other side of the table, waiting for you to throw the ball, waiting for you to miss. It was just beer pong but you don’t know why the game was so fucking frustrating and no matter how hard you concentrate you can’t score. Maybe it’s because you’re all alone and you’re competing against your best friend and her boyfriend. Fuck that you thought, you don’t need a man.

“Fuck” you murmur and miss again. You watch your best friend’s boyfriend score another one and of course, you have to drink again. But just when you’re about to get the ball from drink, a stranger’s hand was quick to get the cup, remove the ball and drink the alcohol.

“Mind if I join and help you win?” He flashed you a dimpled smile that immediately made you smile back at him. You take back what you said earlier, maybe you do need someone.

“Come on! Let him in, maybe he’s a better competition” your best friend shouts once again. Oh, you’re very happy that you’re not going to the same college.

As you welcome the handsome stranger and gave him the honor of throwing the ball, you warned him first that your opponents can be very annoying but he doesn't seem to care and just let out a small laugh. Cocky you thought, but confidence looks sexy on him.

And finally. Fucking finally, your best friend had a taste of her own medicine.

“I’m Jaehyun by the way,” he was lowkey flirting with you and you’re not stupid to not notice. “Here, I’ll teach you how to throw” he put the ball in your palm and stood behind you, hands on your waist to keep you steady, arms raised together, and you swear his lips were so near at your nape that you got shivers whenever he talks. “let the ball bounce near a cup and it will land on one” he added. But how can you score if he’s making it hard for you? You did it anyways, threw the ball near a cup and he was right. It landed on the cup you wish to aim and finally, you’re starting to have fun.

The game went on and you and Jaehyun flirted, talked, and exchange deep glances the entire game but winning it at the same time. His one hand is always around your waist even if it's not necessary whenever he’s the one throwing the ball, and whenever the other team scores, he’s the one drinking the alcoholic beverage for you.

At the end of the game, you and Jaehyun won the golden prize which is very awkward when he showed it to you.

“All that frustration and competition for a condom?” you can’t believe that the prize is a single condom.

“We don’t have to use it, it can just be our trophy you know” he let out a small laugh and put the condom in his pocket, and changed the subject.

As the night went deeper, you and Jaehyun had your own little world in that corner at the kitchen with a beer in your hand while you talk about your interest from music to movies. It was pretty crowded but no one seems to care especially Jaehyun because he loves how incredibly close he is to you right now. Until a drunk person bumped Jaehyun and he accidentally spilled his beer on your blouse. Seems like the universe is making a way for you two to eventually hook up and use the condom.

“Shit-shit!” Jaehyun was panicking at the moment and he doesn’t know what to do other than remove his hoodie and cover you with it before anyone sees your see-through blouse and took you somewhere less crowded to help you clean up the mess he put you through.

In a stranger's room upstairs, he locked the door to let you change while he looks for something to dry your clothes with. Luckily, he saw a hairdryer and quickly plugged it in beside the bed and started drying your shirt.

You were conscious for some time, clinging to a stranger's blanket with nothing but your pants underneath it. You watch Jaehyun dry your bra, checking it from time to time if it's ready to go. And when it's finally dry, he hands it to you with an awkward smile but still managed to make your heart beat fast. “I’m really sorry,” he started, a quickly avoided his gaze from you again as you turn your back from him, put down the blanket, and wear your bra like there's no one with you.

“It was an accident, don’t beat yourself up,” you said, there’s no way he’s going to let this go you’re sure of it, so with all your bravery, you came closer to him while he's busy drying your blouse and kissed him on the cheek. “You've been saving me the whole night. You saved me from boredom and from losing and now, you're drying my clothes. So sweet of you,” you added and looked at him sweetly, resting your forehead on his and making the moment even more intense by putting down the blanket in front of him. Allowing him to see you with only wearing your bra and pants, inviting him to make this moment unforgettable for the two of you.

Of course, he's not stupid and did exactly what you had in mind. In one swift moved his lips are on your lips, hands on your shoulders to put your bra straps down, and you unclasped your bra and threw it on the floor before you started to kiss him more intensely.

Jaehyun kissed you exactly how you wanted to be kissed, with want and with lust. His breath and the sound of wet kisses sounded perfect as it surrounds the room. You felt him bite your neck then feel him smile against your skin when his intentions of turning you on even more is working.

Kisses became deeper, playful, and wet when he started to go down to your chest and started kissing the valley between your boobs. His big hands knead your right boob, while his left hand is placed on your waist. Oh when his tongue brushed on your nipple for the first time, you rolled your head back and arched your back as if you wanted him to do more and play more with your boobs.

And just like that the cold night became warm and you feel it getting warmer and warmer by every second and it’s all because of Jaehyun.

He flashed a dimpled smile at you when he saw that you're more than liking what he's doing to you and stopped to open the lampshade. The room was immediately softly illuminated which you thought is romantic even though everything that’s happening right now is totally unplanned.

"Your boobs have spit all over, wait let me get that for you" you were just about to tell him that it's fine but he was quick to remove his shirt and reveal his godlike body right before your eyes. “If you just want to kiss and touch the whole night, I’m fine with that but I am very horny right now that I got you covered with spit,” he said while wiping his spit from your boobs and chest using his shirt.  

If you’re perfectly honest, you’re nervous about what can happen in the next few minutes. But there’s no way in hell that you’re going to let this pass, it’s not every day a handsome man is eager to fuck you. You just have to suck it up, not tell him that you’re a virgin, perform and look like you know what you’re doing. "No, it's fine I'm horny too" and you proved it by kissing him again, cupping his face with both of your hands, and with all your strength you roll on top of him. "Wait here," you said as you push him back on the mattress when he tried to get a hold of you.

You went down from the bed to remove your pants and underwear, he did the same as quickly as he can and you think he's cute for being excited to fuck. You crawled in between his legs, sat nicely on top of him but the impatient guy sat up and met your lips again. One hand supporting his weight, one hand on your waist. "You're so fucking beautiful I'm having a hard time to breath for the last few minutes" he whispers so sexily while kissing your jaw, leaving his mark to remind you the next day about tonight.

For a minute, you felt shy because you've never been naked with someone in bed. But the way Jaehyun kisses you makes you trust him, the way he touches your body with care make you want him more. And again, those fucking lips just made you roll your hips against his hardening cock and it made you both moaned so good that he asked you to do it again. And so you did.

Letting his cock slide in between your folds is a new feeling for you. Not even grinding on your vibrator will give you such an amazing feeling. Grinding on Jaehyun's cock while his mouth plays with your boobs felt fucking good that your grip on his locks tightens but he doesn't care. But for someone untouched like you, you made sure you never forget the feeling whenever his tongue swirls while you roll your hips, how he bites your nipples whenever he feels you're slowing down, and the vibrations that share with you whenever he grunts a little too loud and you feel it all over your body.

Soon Jaehyun switched places with you, putting you underneath him to catch his breath and stop himself from cumming. He reached for your hand and hold it dearly, kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand. “Forgive me if I become rough tonight, I can promise an aftercare don’t worry,” he says and gave you one last kiss before he pulls away and gets the condom from the pocket of his discarded pants. Putting the protection in front of you to assure you, thank goodness to that condom you thought.

As soon as he crawls back in between your legs again, his hand moved around your body like he’s telling you he owns you, smiling in between kisses whenever he accidentally tickles you. Hands slipping in between your thighs and fingers brushed automatically on your very wet slit. You jolt because of the new feeling but careful not to show Jaehyun that this is your first time being finger fucked. So you closed your eyes to avoid his gaze but Jaehyun gave your ass a tight squeeze and put his thumb on your wet slit, admiring how wet he made you already which made you open your eyes again and moan his name deliciously.

“I like the sound of that,” he says, kissing your neck and down Jaehyun goes, kissing your body until he reaches your pussy to give you few licks before he fucks you.

The way he licked your wet folds made your toes curl and your legs spread even wider. Pushing his head away, crushing his head with your legs then spreading it wide again, and begged him but you’re not sure what for.  

“Jae- you eat pussy like a pro” or maybe you’re just telling that because it’s your first time being eaten out. That even the way he puts the right amount of force to stop your legs from closing whenever he flicks his tongue is perfect. And when he saw you relaxing and can handle the pleasure already, his hands cupped both of your boobs and pinched your nipples, making you moan his name loudly “Jae!-“ and arch your back as a sign that you’re almost there, and if he doesn’t stop soon you might cum now.

But of course, Jaehyun didn’t stop and made you cum using his tongue for the first time tonight. Your legs felt like jelly and you can even feel that your pussy is still sensitive. “Thought it’s going to be just a few licks?” you said weakly, wiping your pussy juices from his chin and planting a soft kiss on his lips as a thank you, but he doesn’t know that.

“Changed my mind, you taste good. I might even go for another round-“

And right before he goes down on you again, you stopped him and told him you’re still sensitive. Which thankfully he listened and kissed you instead of licking you. And when you’re finally good to go again, he holds you by your ankles, kiss your neck and touch your body for a few seconds before he finally lines his cock on your very wet slit. Sliding it up and down, teasing you and making you horny and even more aroused.  

When he finally pushed his cock in your hole, Jaehyun thought his dick will slide in smoothly because, one, he thought you’re not a virgin anymore and two, you’re dripping on the sheets but still he’s having a hard time pushing in. Then he saw your face, contorting like you’re in pain rather than seeing you furrow your brows, part your lips, and make beautiful sounds.

For you, it fucking hurts and you would rather suck it up than tell him you’re still a virgin and ruin the mood. But the man on top of you is not stupid and surprisingly he pulled out slowly and came closer to your body once again to face you, “I’m about to be your first time, am I right? You’re so tight and I’ve never encountered a hole like that ever since my first fuck”

Busted you thought. You thought of any more ways to get out of this situation but he looks like he’s okay with it. “Are you mad?” you asked shyly and avoiding his stare.

“No” he admitted, “Actually I’m turned on. But I’ll go slow and sorry if I hurt you at first. Want to try again?”

You nod oh eagerly to his question and finally, you can breathe and enjoy the moment. He gave you a few kisses before he continues and went back to lining his cock, he made you wrap your arms around his neck and asked you to spread your legs even wider. And when he pushed in again, there’s that good stretch you’ve been hearing so much about. The feeling of Jaehyun’s cock go slowly inside you was incredibly good even though he’s not fucking you raw right now.

“The condom is thin-“ he grunts and moaned a few times, “you’re so tight. And fuck you look hot. Does it feel good now?” he whispers and started to roll his hips once which made you both moan and let out sharp gasps.

He fucks you slow and deep until the sting from the stretch is replaced by pleasure. You rake his body with your nails, holding him on his nape, and grab a fistful of hair whenever he tries to give you a powerful thrust which you loved so you asked for more.

He sat on his knees and pull away from your body then immediately gave you a hard thrust, watching your boobs bounce with lidded eyes, kneading them whenever he wants to. In a matter of few minutes, his thrust became animalistic that your head is dangling on the edge of the bed, moaning and gasping sharply but the man above you kept on fucking you hard, savoring the condom and trying not to cum so soon. So whenever he’s on edge, he pulls out immediately and spreads kisses around your body, sucking your boobs until your nipples are swollen, playing with your slit until you’re cumming for the third time tonight using his fingers.

“Not yet, I want more time with you,” he says while kissing your neck and reaching for your hand to intertwine it with his.

“Jaehyun, I can’t take it anymore. Please cum already” you begged with ragged breaths.

“Fine, fine. Since you asked nicely, but promise me to give me your number after we fuck”

“I will if you make me cum using your dick” he was amused by your answer and effortlessly flipped you on your stomach and asked you to put your ass in the air. He kissed your shoulders first, making you feel safe before the grand finale. Hands on your ass while he slowly thrust in again and fuck, he does make your knees weak.

“You were just a virgin a few minutes ago, but now you’re begging huh, okay” he says before he gave you a hard thrust that made you land flat on your stomach but he was quick to lift your hips again and give you another hard thrust.

Thrust after thrust you feel the impact in your body and for sure your body will be sore the next day. You call his name over and over again but you’re not sure what you’re begging for because he is fucking you good. Hard but good. And when finally Jaehyun is on edge for the nth time tonight, he did not pull out and kept fucking you but this time he doubled his pace that you can only hear skin slapping and his beautiful moans.

“Fuck Jaehyun- I’m cumming again, don’t you dare fucking stop” you grip the sheets and arch your back more, taking every thrust Jaehyun gives you and shut your eyes close as you let go and cum for the fourth time tonight.

Thrust

Thrust

Thrust

He gave you three powerful thrusts before you both flop on the mattress and catch your breath together. Your bodies were warm and sweaty, the room smelled like sex but no one cares. You feel bad to the owner of this bed.

While you catch your breath and calm yourself down, Jaehyun busies himself with discarding the condom and looking for something to cover your exposed body before he makes a wrong decision like asking you for round two.

“Thanks” you said weakly when he covered you with the blanket.

“I hope you’re okay with me being your first” he says and lies beside you again, keeping you close to him.

“I’m more than okay with it” you kissed him on the lips like you’re keeping a souvenir, “I hate to ruin this moment that we shared but, we have to go back to the party” you watch him shook his head no and pretended to be asleep, “Mhmm. Come on, I’ll help you get dressed” you added.

To be perfectly honest Jaehyun wanted to stay with you for a few more minutes, he wanted to know more about you, he wanted to hold your hand just a little bit longer. “Stay with me” he asks of you, but you refused with a heavy heart. You exchanged cellphone numbers of course, but when you two got back to the party, hand in hand and back to flirting with each other, your friends are quick to get a hold of you. and the next thing you know you’re inside your friend’s car, on your way home and you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

On the next day, you woke up very sore and you couldn’t walk properly but the thought of what happened last night just makes you smile and all giggly. You waited for his text the whole day, checking your phone from time to time and hoping that whenever it beeps, Jaehyun’s name is on the screen but no.

You thought that waiting for him for a day is normal, maybe he got hungover and slept the whole day. But after a few days later, still you got no texts from him and that part is not normal anymore. You started to think that you’re just a one-time thing for him and you feel stupid for even thinking that Jaehyun can and eventually pursue you.

Everything that happened that night, should be forgotten and you should enjoy the remaining months of your summer before you finally move in to your college dorm. On top of that, you deleted his number and tried to forget the man who made you feel good in bed for the first time.

Now that you’re weeks away from officially being a college student, you decided to settle in your college dorm as early as now so you can have more time to know your dorm mates. Little did you know, that the world is incredibly small and you will end up being dorm mates with Jaehyun alongside his best friend Johnny who welcomed you with a big bear hug like you’ve known each other for years.

It’s not that you weren’t happy to see him when he opened the door for you, it’s just that... it was such an awkward moment because you’ve seen each other naked and... he didn’t call you back. Nonetheless, you pretended to know each other for the first time today, shake his hand and give him a hug. Which you didn’t want to end so soon.

“Hey, uhm… glad to see you settle in” he started and closed your door so Johnny would not hear whatever conversation you’re about to have.

“Yeah, thank you for welcoming me warmly. Johnny is sweet by the way” you said awkwardly while folding your clothes and putting them in your cabinet.

“Uh, about that. Uhm, can you uh-“

“Not tell him that something happened between us?” he nods slowly at what you said, “sure” you wanted to scoff so bad and throw a fit at him, but you didn’t want to ruin your move in day and just shrugged it off.

Starting that day, you tried your best not to be awkward with Jaehyun and really try your best to forget about the sex. The sex that felt good, the sex that can make your toes curl by just merely thinking about it. Although you had a hard time because whenever you touch yourself at night, you remember everything that happened between you two and you end up fantasizing about fucking Jaehyun again. But now that you’re living with him and you see him every day, it's not just about the sex now.

During the summer you were convinced that Jaehyun is a guy who had sex with you and left you hanging. But seeing him every day and knowing him even more by living together, the truth about Jaehyun slapped you so hard that you even liked him even more now. He is a warm person, whose heart is full of care and compassion, or maybe even more than that.

Eventually, you did forget about the sex and your little crush on Jaehyun. Thank goodness, you thought. You couldn’t have done it without a few hookups during your freshman year. And when everything is all nice and pleasant again between you and Jaehyun, you became good friends and started to look after each other.

You were like family in that small dorm during your starting years together. The two giant knows how to cook so a good meal is never a problem, you have study sessions whenever it’s needed and whenever someone is going through something, you were there for each other.

It was great and comforting because you do everything together. But not until Jaehyun realized that he’s not immune to your charms anymore and now he’s falling for you. Hard.

Over the years of living together, Jaehyun saw your true colors. Now he knows you’re more than just a hookup. You were a gem that he found in a stranger’s party and he was such a fool for not calling you back during the summer. It’s true what they say that regrets are always at the end. Now he can only admire you and love you in ways where he can’t ruin this amazing friendship that you have.

Jaehyun endured every heartbreak whenever he sees you with another man or hearing you moan from the other side of the room whenever you and your boyfriend have sex. And when that jerk broke your heart, his broke two times than yours because he can’t do anything to ease your pain, make you realize your true worth and help you move on.

“You don’t need that guy,” Jaehyun says as he pulls you for a hug while Johnny massages your toes. The two giants were a good support system, not to mention they really want to beat your ex’s butt but you told them ‘thanks but, no don’t do that’. And while you’re crying in Jaehyun’s arms, staining his hoodie with your tears, he promised to himself that he will never hurt you or make you cry.

Now that he’s frustrated and mad at himself because he can’t help you, he decided to help himself instead. He watched on the sides and used different girls to make him forget about you, which is hardly impossible by now because even the little things you do make him crazy. Like whenever you ask him to eat dinner with you when Johnny is out for work, or whenever you take care of him when he goes home batshit drunk and can’t even stand up straight.

For Jaehyun, his college years were all about yearning. Yearning for you, your attention, your touch, and your love. But even though you’re now single and have already moved on from your ex, he still can’t confess his feelings for you because he believes that you deserve someone better than him. Jaehyun knew he hurt you already, and he will not forgive himself if he does it again.  

Senior year

In a middle of a busy cafeteria, you, Johnny, and Jaehyun are thinking of ways how to earn money for your dorm rent. This semester made you guys bring out a lot of cash because of books and some of your rent money was needed to sacrifice for education. But now that you guys are a month late with your rent, you have no idea where to get cash knowing all too well that your parents won’t chip in.

“I could sell some of my clothes” Jaehyun suggested while drinking his coffee.

“Dude your clothes are all black, no one would ever buy those” Johnny bites back just to annoy his friend. “Though girls will buy it because it’s from you-“

“Stop it with your nonsense John”

“Or! You can sell some of your nudes, I already know a lot of buyers” Johnny added with an annoying smile.

“Or you two can just fuck each other because you’re the hottest guys on campus but your asses are broke” you tease them further but you have no idea that you just gave out the solution to all your problems. “What?” you asked them as they both smile at you, shy for no reason, and eyeing each other like they’re having a secret conversation using their eyes.

Johnny clears his throat before he starts, “You just suggested to make porn… and porn is good money. A few students do it these days” he clears his throat again before he continues, “We know because we watch porn-“

“Okay, I don’t need to know that part. What are you saying? Are you suggesting we make porn?” you said, eyes big as you look at them.  

“You suggested it. Not us. But yeah. It’s good money Y/n” Johnny once again explained.

“Well, okay. I’ll hold the camera while you two fuck. How do we do this?” you avoid their eyes as your body heats the more you talk.

“Nuh-uh, I’m not fucking Johnny” Jaehyun announces.

“Nope. Me too I’m not fucking Jaehyun, you choose Y/n. No hard feelings, but consider the size” he winks but you know that he’s just joking.

Good thing the awkward conversation was cut when your alarm went off and you have to go to your next class. You gather your stuff and told them to think of better ways to earn money because there’s no way you’re having sex with any of them. Especially not with Jaehyun.

The idea of making money through porn crosses your mind every five minutes and you can’t concentrate with your class. Plus, your landlord kept on sending messages reminding you that in three days, you’re going to be two months late with the rent. But still, whenever you imagine having sex with any of them, it gives you great goosebumps and you can’t handle the awkwardness anymore.

After your class, you were spacing out and still weighing things over regarding the porn making, and unexpectedly, one of your friends brought up ‘amateur porn’ and you’ve never been so nervous in your life. She was talking about how she and her boyfriend went live for a good twenty minutes and they made loads of cash, “and guess what, it’s all for fun! We were really just fooling around but apparently, people do love those kinds of stuff and they pay good money”

Your mouth almost fell when she mentioned the cash they earned for only twenty minutes. And in that twenty minutes, you can cover one month's rent pay already. You just have to cum in front of thousands of people. So with a mind blinded by the possibility of earning too much cash, you said yes to the idea of making porn. The only question is, with whom?

Johnny and Jaehyun stood in front of you as they wait for your answer after telling them what your friend told you about making porn. Of course you picked Jaehyun. Not because you miss him, and not because you have history, but because you don’t want to be awkward with Johnny. While Jaehyun on the other hand is feeling proud and hopeful behind that poker face of his, he thought that you chose him because you already know what’s in store for you if you fuck with him again and of course he thought that maybe you miss him.

“Johnny doesn’t really need to hold the camera for us right? We can just place it, and secure it somewhere” you added and watch Jaehyun agree without looking at you.

“You two have the place tomorrow night then. M-make sure you raise the quota and cover three months of payment... for safety” Johnny says to Jaehyun and you with a smile that says, ‘thank goodness I didn’t have to watch you both fuck’.

Before you sleep tonight, unexpectedly Jaehyun paid you a visit. And there’s that nervous feeling again, you feel like you’re back in your freshman days when you don’t know what to do whenever you see Jaehyun and you just have to pretend that nothing is bothering you.

Breathing in and out, you opened the door quickly and went back to your bed and under the covers to cover your exposed legs. Little did you know that Jaehyun already saw that you’re not wearing anything besides your lacy panties and an oversized shirt.

“Your ears are red,” you teased him.

“Well next time you should wear pajamas instead of your underwear to sleep” he winked and placed the mask that you’re going to be using tomorrow and sat on the edge of your bed.  

“What are you? A stranger? You’re so far, come here” you invited him under your sheets and lie in bed face to face like nothings bothering you two. You put your hand above his head and feel his soft locks, careful not to grip so hard and hurt the man you used to have feelings for.

This is why Jaehyun can’t move on from you. You always make him feel like he’s your favorite person in the world.

“Are you going to leave me hanging again after we have sex tomorrow?” You confronted him.

“That’s impossible now, we live together” he giggles and catches your hand so he could hold it.

“Just promise me after the sex tomorrow we’ll still be friends” you felt his grip loosen up like he became hopeless like he didn’t like what you just said.

“I was actually going to say that I want us to try again. Get things right this time”

And in that very moment, your world stopped and your body feels hot, suddenly you’re sweating and your heart is beating faster. To be honest you don’t know what to say.

Then,

“Kidding. I’m kidding. Just making you laugh before you sleep, and y-yeah. I promise nothing will change between us, cross my heart” he got up from your bed, turned off the lights and turned on your lampshade. “Sleep well okay?”

And just like that, he left again. You don’t know if you were relieved that it was only a joke or your heart broke because deep inside, you’re waiting for him to tell you that ever since Freshman year. Nonetheless, you do what you do best. Sleep it off and pretend nothing happened.

On the next day, you were at the kitchen preparing breakfast and spacing out while you flip pancakes. Most of them got burnt and you blame Jaehyun for that.

“I told you to sleep, didn’t I?”

There he goes again, startling you and flashing a very handsome smile at you like you’re not about to do something stupid later. “Johnny went to work early and took an overtime tonight just so you won’t get shy” he hands you a glass of water, figured you might need one because you looked so tensed.

“We can always text him when we're done” you added, he nods. And there’s the awkward silence again.

You finish your breakfast in one go, not even looking at Jaehyun. Usually, during breakfast, you talk mostly about your plans within the day but given the situation right now, obviously, you don’t want to know his plans because that includes you. Good thing the day went on normally. You cleaned the living room, he cleaned the kitchen, you cleaned your room, he cleaned his. You saw him changing his bedsheets and you think that’s a sweet gesture, you wanted to tease him but that won’t help you with your nervousness so you just smiled at him when he caught you looking.

When it’s finally afternoon and you’re going to fuck live in a few minutes, you were surprised at what he did to his room just so you won’t get nervous anymore. The golden ray of afternoon light was perfect and helped you calm in no time, Jaehyun lit some scented candles and lowered the thermostat of his air conditioning so you won’t get cold.

“Thought I should make this special- not that I’m saying our first wasn’t “ he rambles and scratches his head, ears turning red and now you can see that he’s nervous too. “But come on, I want to do right for you” he caresses your shoulders and nods his head as a signal that you two needed to start.

The mood was nothing like your first, there was no sexual tension or any sign of desire to fuck each other. In other words, he looked like he’s just doing this for the dorm rent and you are too. That’s why maybe stripping in front of Jaehyun while your back is against him was easier than you thought. But you didn’t know that the man was craving for you. He wanted to be the one removing your clothes while his lips roam on your neck, make you feel good and wanted just before the live starts. He wanted to do that.

“Remember your promise okay?” You put on your mask and Jaehyun did too. He was still fully clothed and while you’re lying in his bed comfortably, watching him strip in front of you but not for you. The camera is right above your head so the viewers can imagine that they are the ones having sex with Jaehyun. If that won't give you a lot of money then you don’t know what will.

Jaehyun was a natural, you wanted to tell him that he does look like a pornstar but you’re not allowed to talk. When he finally crawled on the bed, straight between your legs and spread them according to his want, a shiver went straight to your spine and immediately made you wet. He shamelessly kissed your inner thighs first and went all the way up until he reaches your lips.

Finally. You both thought.

But his kisses were different and you wonder why. You feel like you’re not kissing Jaehyun because you know how his kiss can affect you, although his touch was still the same. He can still make you jolt and part your lips with just using his fingers and a few teasing here and there. And when he finally put his cock inside you, that’s the part where you finally believe that Jaehyun is indeed the one in bed with you right now. You will never forget how that cock feels inside you, “I miss you” he whispered very softly, hoping that the viewers did not hear it.

Time flies so fast that the live will end in ten minutes now and Jaehyun has been fucking you deep and slow like he’s savoring the feeling again. When you heard him grunt and moan, that made your toes curl and clench accidentally around him. Making him groan a little louder and fuck you a bit faster. You moaned so loud just so he knows you’re very much close to your high, and in just a few minutes you both cum together and the next thing you know he��s pulling out and letting his cum land on top of your pussy lips for the viewer’s pleasure.

Fuck you wish he didn’t pull out.

He grabbed his phone from above you and turned the damn timer off because you may not know, but the timer was screaming at him that his time with you is over. You removed your mask and he removed his too. And there you saw tears in his eyes, or maybe those are sweat? Nonetheless, you asked him what’s wrong and made him look at you. But instead of answering your question, he kissed you. Hands on both sides and cupping your face as he kisses you deeper.

And there’s that kiss you’ve been waiting for. The kiss that you’ve been wanting to experience again for years and years. You shouldn’t be happy, but you’re actually genuinely happy that your rent pay is late and you get to do this again with Jaehyun.

“I missed you too” finally you said it.

He smiled so sweetly to you and went back to the kiss, spreading your legs again, checking your slit if you’re still wet. And without further ado, he thrust in. Slowly again, but this time he’s proving a point. Like he’s telling you something. And now that you can see his face, you can’t help but feel excited and the butterflies in your stomach are very much excited too that you were smiling in between kisses.

“Ride me” he says, and effortlessly he trades places with you. Holding you on your back, lips still locked like you’re not planning to stop any time soon. And for your own pleasure, you guided his hands and made him knead your boobs. He did more than kneading, Jaehyun sucked your nipples and pinched them to hear you moan.

“A lot has changed Jae” you said, pushing him down to the mattress and intertwined your fingers with his, kissed them and placed them on your hips. You started rolling your hips without a warning, making the man underneath you close his eyes and part his lips. There are many things you wanted to do with him now that you had the privilege to ride him, but you decided to go hard because this might be the last time you’re going to fuck Jaehyun again.

You ride him like you didn’t have sex for years. Skin slapping from rolling your hips faster than he expected, letting your boobs bounce in front of him and letting him touch them whenever he wants to. “It’s hard to pull out when you’re on top, want to switch places?” He was struggling to talk, obviously he’s trying so hard not to cum yet but you’re good at what you’re doing.

“Not tonight” and that promise just made Jaehyun moan deliciously like he’s excited to cum now just so he can experience cumming inside you.

“Y-yeah. That’s right Y/n fuck me. Oh you fuck me so good! Shit- why did I ever let you go. Fuck”

The thing is, you love seeing him all fucked up and love hearing him praise the way you fuck him... but he chose the wrong words. And those words went straight to your heart. The words ‘Why did I ever let you go?’ repeated over and over again while you ride so fast that you’re overstimulating him already. He was begging for you to stop but it was too late when you heard him.

When you finally stopped, you see his cum dripping from your pussy even though you’re not yet removing his cock from you. You catch your breath for a second and came closer to Jaehyun. Good thing he has enough strength to hug you and roll you to the mattress so he could have the honor to pull his cock out.

“You’re right a lot has changed,” he says because his silly crush on you grew and grew and now he’s completely in love with you. “Let’s not shower together, I’m afraid I’ll lure you to have shower sex with me”

“And what’s so wrong about that” you bite back.

“Oh so you’re confident now huh,” he kissed you once again, and shit you never want him to leave your lips.

But every good thing comes to an end. You went back to your room and showered separately, as planned and when you went to the living room, he was all cleaned up and looking so fresh. He was wearing his glasses, hair almost covering his eyes, he looked cozy in his oversized shirt and his favorite plaid pajamas. “Come here,” He pats the seat next to him, signaling you to come watch Netflix with him. Surprisingly, his arms wrapped around you and kept you close to him, subtly smelling your shampoo. He giggled at the thought of imagining you taking a shower while smiling because the sex was fucking awesome.

He played a movie and watched it with you just so he can still keep you close to him. Not even halfway through the movie, he caught you sleeping soundly on his lap and slowly covered your exposed legs with the blanket on the couch. He pats and pats your head until his attention was no longer in the movie that he’s watching but his mind lingers to what happened earlier and eventually fell asleep beside you too.

It was very late when Johnny went home and caught you two all snuggled up on the couch, snoring and slept through to what you were watching. He had a hunch that you two had a great time, smiled and turned off the TV, and wished you both a good night's sleep.

“I have bad news” Johnny announces as you and Jaehyun wake up together on the couch, all smiles and in an incredibly good mood but Johnny was quick to ruin that. “The money you earned from yesterday’s live was not enough”

You don’t know why Jaehyun was still smiling at you even though what Johnny just told you completely ruined your day already. “That’s not bad news, right?” He whispers to you and gave you a look. “I’m okay with doing it again until we cover everything” Jaehyun says to Johnny while you three sit in front of each other, drinking your coffees.

“I’ll work double shifts at the radio station- are you fine with doing it again Y/n?” Johnny asks, and for a second there you feel like you’re in the hot seat.

“Y-yeah. I’m okay with it” you scratch your nape and awkwardly sip your coffee, “it’s easy money, I think if we do more lives we can cover three months pay”

“More lives it is. Don’t worry John, I’ll take other slots at the radio station too for groceries and stuff” Jaehyun added.

The live fucking continues and so is fooling around with Jaehyun, having better sex every after going live and whenever Johnny is not around. It’s like playing with fire, but you don’t exactly know if what you’re doing is wrong or right because you’re both single, so why are you guys hiding? You don’t get it, but you just go with the flow, enjoy what’s happening and hope for the best.

Every sex you have grown more and more intense to the point that your beds are moving and that gives you better reviews in live fucking. Not to mention the money is better now and you’re saving up faster than expected. But whenever the camera is off and you’re having sex without an audience, you guys fuck like you’re together and you love each other.

Sweet love bites here and there, sincere praises and longer kisses. For Jaehyun he feels like he’s having a dream because he gets to do the things he wanted to do with you. Remove your clothes while kissing you, whisper the things he has been holding back to say for years, and make you feel loved and important.

And just like the sex, your cuddling session became even warmer and sweeter. Cuddling after you take a shower has always been your thing, he visits you in your room with damped hair and you help him dry his hair, Netflix and chill, or order in and have a great meal together.

Days went by and you’re getting used to this sweet Jaehyun and you well know that’s dangerous. But you love every dangerous thing about Jaehyun. The following days grew extremely sweet and intimate. You sleep in his room every night and basically do everything together from now on. The only time you two were apart is during class hours but after that, Jaehyun is right outside your classroom waiting for you.

“What are you doing?” you giggle and try to finish the book you’re reading in bed when Jaehyun suddenly entered your room, crawled on your bed, and went in between your legs. Removing your glasses for safety, inviting you to fuck while Jaehyun nibs your ear and caress your legs. Oh his kisses always make your head turn and ask for more.

“Johnny is not around and I just took a shower, hmm? What do you say?” He uses that cute tone that can always make you stop what you’re doing and say yes to him. Forget the book, you can finish it later.

Removing your shorts and underwear while he continuously kisses you, smiling and giggling while he whispers ‘you always look pretty’ before he removes your shirt and exposes your boobs to him. You tried getting up and help him remove his clothes, but he stopped you and kissed you down on the mattress. “Nu-uh. Stay there I’ll treat you good tonight” he winked and proceeds to remove his clothes in between your spread legs, your hands roam freely in his well sculpted and fucking beautiful body.

Then he reached for your phone and took a nice picture while you two are kissing. The sound of the camera clicking made your eyes open, “send me this picture later. So I can stop missing you” you smiled and nod, then Jaehyun took one too many pictures so he could focus on you again. When he’s finally contented with all the pictures he got, he finally thrust in deep and slow while his mouth is sucking one of your nipples and he looks incredibly handsome.

This time, it’s you who grabbed your phone and took some pictures of him sucking your boobs and making you feel good, taking some pictures of his cock inside your pussy while he thrusts. Jaehyun had the idea of taking a video while you two fuck but this time, it’s for his and your eyes only. He took the phone from you and recorded how he fucks you good, and did not miss the part where you part your lips and moan.

“Jaehyun I’m almost there” you moan out, fingerings raking his nape or on his beautiful body. He puts the camera on the bedside table with a perfect angle of him fucking you, without masks or any cover. He intertwines his fingers with yours before he fucks you hard and fast. The camera that’s recording everything was completely forgotten and Jaehyun focused on making you feel good, making you cum at least two times using his dick and his fingers.

After your second high you were so exhausted that you were breathing heavily and Jaehyun is helping you to calm down while kissing your boobs and sucking them playfully. Even your cute moments like this was caught on camera and Jaehyun was more than happy about it.

“You okay? Want to cum for the third time?” He reached for your phone, stop the recording and went back in between your legs again and kiss you wherever he wants. You didn’t answer him ‘yes’ because to be completely honest you were still exhausted and he understood you well. For a good quiet minutes he was just staring at you, flashing his dimples, raking his fluffy hair and biting his lips at the same time. The silence felt good and not the usual awkward silence you have.

“The next live that we will be doing is going to be our last. And our dorm rent will be settled in no time” he started.

“And?”

“I’ll miss you”

Ouch. You wish he kept the quietness and peace instead. Just as you thought that life will now let you be with Jaehyun peacefully, here comes the heartbreak again. Truth is Jaehyun is still scared and very much afraid to hurt you that’s why he just wanted to fix himself before he could date you officially. He didn’t want to pursue his feeling with you just because you did porn together and fucked live, no you deserve better than that.

He loves you. So much, but he’s not ready yet.

You wanted to shout at him and asked him what else does he want from you? He is so good at making you feel like you’re always not enough for him and that makes your mind go crazy. He did it again. He left you hanging again when you’ve completely fallen in love with him. Turns out he’s not willing and ready to catch you. But as usual, you do what you do best. Shrugged it off and continue to live like it’s not bothering you.  

The live fucking and porn making stopped for a while because you and Jaehyun have final exams. And the awkwardness between you and Jaehyun came back in no time, nonetheless, it was a good week to have a breather and to let yourself think straight. But still, you can’t help but think about everything and miss Jaehyun.

“Are you on your way home?” Johnny asks Jaehyun through the phone.

“Yeah, just buying us dinner”  

“Good. Y/n is on her period”

“Am I suppose to be happy because I didn’t get her pregnant?” He chuckled proudly and having no clue what Johnny was saying.

“Take care of her she has period cramps dumb ass!“

“Oh right- right… sorry. Okay, yeah”

When Jaehyun arrived with the stuff that Johnny told him to buy for you and the dinner Jaehyun bought you, you were twisting in hurt inside your room grunting and very vocal about the pain while you hug the hot compress Johnny left you when Jaehyun entered your room.

“Ah- fuck it hurts” you groan and curl yourself, pressing that hot compress more on your lower abdomen and endure your period cramps. Jaehyun is just so sweet to stay beside you and rub your back while he watches you suffer.

“I want to help. Do you need anything other than that hot compress?” He was concerned and willing to make you feel better.

“Nothing I’m fine. You’re so sweet” you said in a little irritated tone but you’re not actually irritated with him. He scrolls through his phone with one hand, while the other is rubbing and caressing your back to give you comfort.

“Google says sex is good when-“

“I’m not having period sex with you, Jaehyun” but you do want him to touch you. Stupid hormones. Stupid period. It just makes you crave for him even more, desperate for even a kiss, or even just with his body closer to you.

“Are you horny?” He asks without shame, smiling at you and hoping that you say yes.

“I am” you admitted

“Just say yes, I got you” he was like seducing you, luring you to sin with him tonight while you bleed. And you like it.

“Okay” you answered softly. Shy but he knew you’re not that type anymore.

Jaehyun scoop over and went under the covers with you. Giving you that warmth that you need, making your body warm and comfortable, and basically giving everything you want. He intertwines his fingers with you, kissed your knuckles, and then your lips. Softly. Slowly. It’s every girl’s dream kiss. And just like his kiss, his hand creeps under the covers, all the way down until he reaches your thighs and spread one leg to gain access to your hole.

“W-wait. Let me just remove the tampon” shyly you inform him and discarded it quickly under the covers and throw it into the trash bin. Going back to the comfort that Jaeyun is giving you, his hand went back in between your legs and tease your clothed slit the moment you’re back under the covers. Smiling so handsomely and innocently while he lies beside you like he’s not doing something lustful under the covers.

“Do you think this will work-“ and just before you finish your question, Jaehyun ran a finger on your very wet slit which turned him on immediately. He flicked his finger, drawing small circles in your nub and listening to you moan while your grip on the sheets tightens and try your best not to close your legs.

“Do you like this?” his lips were very close to your neck and the way he talks to you was so sultry that even his words can make you moan.

“Mhmm. F-fuck Jae, my clit is sensitive” but your legs say others wise because you spread them even more under the covers and your hips voluntarily move to meet his fingers. When he felt your legs shake and hear your moans become higher than usual, he figured you were close, went on top of you and started to hump your thigh while his hand is inside your now ruined panties reaching deep in your hole making you feel good and over sensitive. Jaehyun grunted so loud and moaned deliciously beside your ear, moving his hips like how he fucks you and you feel his hard cock poke your thigh from the inside of his pants. Soon, Jaehyun came inside his pants and did not care about being embarrassed.

While you were coming down from your high, the man on top of you kept kissing you like you’re all that matters to him. Even though you well know that you’re just fooling yourself.

The night ended with Jaehyun sleeping beside you and further taking care of you after you both cleanup. But you woke up the next day without him beside you and thankfully, Johnny came out of nowhere to rescue you from your ugly thoughts. He came into your room with a cup of coffee and some bread for you, smiling like he has no problems in life and to be honest, you love how he’s always like this.

Since both of you don’t have classes today, you went to the groceries with Johnny and had a nice dinner at a fast food he loves. It felt great. It felt great to be with a guy who’s not Jaehyun. The man always keeps you on your toes and you feel like your head is always in the clouds whenever you’re with him but Johnny, he keeps you grounded.

“Shoot. The landlord is really testing me- he wants the money tonight or else they have to kick us out tomorrow. Fuck!” He says typing aggressively on his phone, telling Jaehyun immediately.

“Were not due until next week why are they doing this to us. We have no choice but to go live then” you said calmly, unbothered as much as possible because you just want this to be over now and move on from Jaehyun.

“You can't. You have your period and Jaehyun is not available- fuck why is he not picking up”

“There are other ways to make a guy cum Johnny. I’m sure you know that” you chuckle and shook your head in disbelief.

“Still, Jaehyun is not answering” he gave up and put down his phone.

“Well you’re available. I just want this to be over Johnny” clearly he didn’t expect you to suggest such a thing. You continue to eat your food in silence and so is the man in front of you. Obviously, he was bothered with what you suggested but it appears that he has no choice. You watch him fidget on his phone, maybe he’s not yet done contacting Jaehyun and still hoping that his friend will end up last minute but...

“Okay” he let a sigh of relief, “I texted Jaehyun that well do it but we're not going to uhm- uh, fuck. Blow job then? No more, no less? A bit of kissing maybe. Tell me what do you want? I’ll be able to do this comfortably if I know that you like what I’m doing to you”

“Hmm. Okay, let’s start by... be gentle with me. You’re a big guy and you know... what I mean”

“I may be big physically but I’m warm on the inside, being gentle is not a problem” he smiles and pour you a glass of water before he asks for the bill. “What else?” he added.

“Touch me, don’t hesitate. If you feel like my jaw needs rest then you can tell me to stop” he nods and told you he will surely not forget about that.

The conversation went on until you reached home and get ready for the live. Unlike Jaehyun who made you feel so nervous the day you had your first live with him, Johnny makes you feel calm and comfortable the whole time.

Now that you’re in front of Johnny, half naked with only your panties and your mask on, everything happened perfectly. It wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t awkward too, and quite frankly you had fun with Johnny. Even though the audience noticed that you’re not with Jaehyun right now, they can’t help but love Johnny’s hot body too and the way he fuck your face gently in front of the camera. Hands cupping both sides of your face as he thrust his long, hard and veiny cock in your mouth. Smiling through the pleasure whenever you purposely swirl your tongue and bob your head aggressively.

After the cum-filled and messy live with Johnny, you wired the money to your landlord immediately and secure the rent for good until the three of you graduates. Now you and Johnny can breathe normally after cleaning up and enjoy the warmth of your bed. “Do you like Jaehyun?” He blurted out, trying not to look at your exposed boobs but you roll your body and face the ceiling and so his efforts went to waste.

“Yeah but I don’t think he likes me enough. Y-you know what I mean” he shook his head to tell you he has no idea about Jaehyun’s intentions with you.

“Just have patience with him if you like him, after all, you’re the only girl that can do this to him”

“Do what?” you ask with eagerness.

“Did you really think that I won't notice you two fucking behind my back?” You laughed at what he said and laughed your shyness away, “but it’s alright. I figured maybe you like each other so I didn’t dare stop you two”

The giggling and laughing with Johnny under the soft light of your lampshade continued until you passed out and Johnny was the one who helped you get dressed. And on the same night, Jaehyun heard and saw you and Johnny laugh over a half closed door. Seeing your bodies close to each other made his blood boil and became jealous in no time. That’s why on the next day, Jaehyun was expressing his anger while you three are gathered in the kitchen. He’s not saying a word, but he kept on closing the cabinets a little too rough while he prepares his meal. Then it hit you, he’s jealous.

You confronted him and went to his room, closed and locked the door so Johnny won't hear the unpleasant conversation you’re about to have with Jaehyun. “Don’t be angry with Johnny, I’m the one who suggested it-“

“Like that’s going to make me feel better Y/n. Get out, you’re wasting your time” he turned his back and proceeds to fix his bed.

“It’s not like we cheated Jae. Were not together” you blurted as calm as possible. Little did you know that you just triggered something in him that makes him want to punch a wall and pour his anger out but he can’t. At least not in front of you. So instead, he shouted at you. So loud that you got scared for a second there.

“You know, I’m always afraid to hurt you but you! You don’t care if you hurt me!”

“Don’t act as if you love me, Jae. You never did. You never even tried!” You shouted back and walked away towards his door, banging it and walked straight to your room with tears in your eyes.

The fight was short but unforgettable.

Later that day, Jaehyun got worried when you didn’t eat lunch and dinner and your door was still locked and he can hear you crying from the other side. He kept on knocking at your door until you got annoyed and unlocked it but you covered yourself with your thick sheets.

“Come on why are you crying? Don’t cry over a stupid guy like me you don’t deserve it. I’m sorry” you feel his embrace and rub your back so you know that he’s sincere. And finally, you removed the sheets but still, you don’t want to look him in the eye.

You have a lot of questions for Jaehyun, and you think now is the perfect time to cry it all out and let him know what he’s doing to you. Why he didn’t text you back the night after you fuck for the first time, why he never ask you out when he promised he would, why he’s jealous all of a sudden.

FLASHBACK (In the middle of junior year)

It was very late already and some crazy person is ringing your doorbell nonstop. This couldn’t be Jaehyun or Johnny obviously they don’t need to ring the doorbell because they live here and they know the code. That’s why you were surprised that Jaehyun is the one ringing it and turns out he is batshit drunk and can’t even remember the code. “Where is Johnny when you need him” you murmur, “Jae, help yourself too. I can’t carry you all the way up to the fourth floor,” you said sternly to the handsome guy clinging on to you, breath smells like alcohol, eyes lidded but can still appreciate your beautiful face.

When you finally carried him successfully back to your place, without any hesitation he puked on your sleepwear and smiled so sweetly at you like he did nothing wrong. You wanted to slap him and wake him from his drunken state but Jaehyun was quick with his hands and unbutton your sleepwear and used it to wipe the small amount of puke on the floor.

You cover yourself with your arms and walked straight to your room and get a clean shirt before you take care of Jaehyun. He was murmuring “sorry” as he sees you walk away from him and weakly sit on the floor with dirty clothes and hope that you will come back to him.

When he sees you all dressed up again with a damped cloth on your hand, he smiled and spread his arms like he’s about to give you a hug. “Why are you acting cute- here hold this while I remove your socks” you hand him the damped cloth and proceed to remove his dirty socks and throw it with your dirty sleepwear. He looks at you lovingly as you wipe his face with the utmost care, looking at your lips and thinking about kissing it but no. He may be drunk but he won’t do that to you.

“Go on a date with me,” he says while you continue to wipe his face and help him take off his hoodie. You giggle and boops his nose before you stand and help him to get on his feet, “try asking me again when you’re sober” you opened his room door and told him to don’t forget to change his pants and greet him good night.

But after a few minutes, you’re all tucked in bed and half asleep already when you feel a pair of arms cage you. You can still smell his breath and figured maybe Jaehyun is clingy like this whenever he’s really drunk, which rarely happens.

“It's so sweet, knowing that you love me. Though we don't need to say it to each other, sweet. Knowing that I love you, and running my fingers through your hair. It's so sweet” he sings a few lines from Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex and smells your hair until his breath tickles your nape.

Sweet. He’s not only clingy while he’s drunk, but he’s sweet too. “I think I like you more when you’re rarely this drunk” you turn your body and faced him. Seeing Jaehyun with sleepy eyes, lips curved in a weak smile, but arms conscious enough to keep you near him.

“Then I’ll get drunk every day if that makes you love me”

But on the next day, he just thanked you for taking care of him and forgot about the date. And on the next few days and following weeks, you hear him fuck different girls and have one night stands every now and then.

BACK TO PRESENT TIME SENIOR YEAR

“I keep on hurting you I’m sorry. Don’t cry, please. I hate that I’m hurting you. This is the reason why I can’t pursue my feelings for you. I’m a mess and I’m not ready”

And just as you thought that this day couldn’t get any worse. It just did. You look at Jaehyun as he tells you the truth and admits his true feelings with you. How he fell in love with you but chose not to pursue his feelings because he’s not ready and you deserve better. And from there you stopped listening to him and told him to leave you alone. Jaehyun was speechless and hopeless, he wanted to explain and express his long bottled feelings for you but you don’t want to.

All this time you thought that it’s you who’s lacking that’s why he can’t even try and ask you out. But now that you know the truth and he would rather make you feel small than swallow his pride and try to make things work with you, well you just can’t be around him anymore.

Graduation is approaching near and your dorm has been quiet ever since you finished paying the rent and Jaehyun got mad because of what you and Johnny did. You look at the quiet place while you eat your instant noodle and reminisce the good days you spent with the two giants who made your college years unforgettable and happy. Actually, they even made your life easier.

Days become even more lonely now that Jaehyun and Johnny became busy with their last requirements and you’ve been alone for a few days now. You wake up without the two boys, go to class or run some errands, they go home but you’re not home, and by the time you arrive home they have shifts to the radio station again.

Today is your birthday and you spend it with some of your classmates which are all sweet and you treat them to dinner. Johnny left a bouquet of flowers on your bed before he left for work, together with a sweet happy birthday card. And Jaehyun… well, let’s just say that maybe he forgot about it because being a graduating student makes you busy.

While you were having a nice dream of Jaehyun singing a happy birthday song to you with a small cupcake in his hand, in reality, he woke you up by patting your head and a kiss on your forehead, whispering ‘I’m sorry’ and kissing your face until you’re awake and what’s happening right now is finally registering in your mind. You wrapped your arms around him and decided to forgive him for being stupid and accept his apology. “Is this for me?” you point at the chocolate cake on the bedside drawer a blew the candle, making your room dark and only the soft light from your window lights up your room.

“What did you wish for” he came closer to you and rests his forehead on yours. Oh you missed his presence, but all you feel right now is the heartbreak and remember what happened a few weeks ago.

“You, Jaehyun” you whisper and closed your eyes, not caring if there are tears in your eyes. You’re not afraid to show him that you ache for him.

“I told you, I can’t-“ you didn’t want to hurt yourself further and listen to those hurtful words so you kissed him and pulled him on top of you.

Everything happened so fast and naturally. You removed your shorts, he was quick to spread your legs and free his hardening cock. Not even bothering to reach for a condom, he fucked you in the dark and whispered “I’m sorry” over and over again that it hurts your ear and your heart so you put your thumb in his mouth and let him suck it good while his thrust was slowly picking up the pace and you hear skin slapping surrounds your room

“Jaehyun-“ you moan his name when you felt that familiar feeling of being on edge but you’re not yet ready to let go. You’re not yet ready to let him go. So you tried with all your might to clench and stop yourself from cumming but what you’re doing to Jaehyun just makes him want to fuck you more.

And so he did.

He covered your mouth not because he didn’t want to let Johnny know that you’re fucking but because he never wants to hear your beautiful moans again. He closed his eyes so he could no longer see your face and dream about you underneath him, and with that, he continues to thrust so harshly that it’s hurting you so good and your grip on his shoulders will surely leave a mark.

Soon you failed and cum before Jaehyun could. You exchanged sharp exhales, gasps, and quiet grunts before he lies beside you and kiss you deeply the whole night. One last time.  

As expected, you woke up alone in your bed with a sore body. You stretched for a few minutes before you got out of bed and head outside to have breakfast. At first, you thought that you will be alone again today but turns out Johnny is free.

“Belated Happy birthday. Did you like the flowers I got you?” he greets you good morning and gave you a bear hug.

“I did. I put it in a vase, it’s in my room. Thank you” now that Johnny is here and you’re not alone eating breakfast, you can’t help but wish for Jaehyun to be here.

“Jaehyun is uhm… working. I can take you out today, let’s have dinner and celebrate your birthday again. What do you say?” he offers excitedly and even showed you a great restaurant from his phone.

When the evening comes and you and Johnny should be out by now but you were having a hard time to chose what to wear, Jaehyun arrived out of nowhere with a girl on his shoulders. Someone not familiar and they’re holding hands.

“I think your friends are going out on a date aren’t they babe?” the girl asks Jaehyun, like she's tying to get his attention but Jaehyun’s eyes are glued on you. Eyes that are very much sorry because he didn’t mean for you to see his new girlfriend after your birthday. So this is why Johnny was rushing you tonight. He didn’t want you to see Jaehyun with his new girlfriend because he knew it will hurt you greatly.

“Y/n-“ Jaehyun called you but you didn’t bother looking back and told Johnny that you’re ready now… even though your earrings don't match with your dress. If he can try and be in a relationship with someone else then what does that make you? Why can’t he try for you?

The night went on, carrying the lie that you’re okay but to be honest, you don’t want to go back to that fucking dorm. Good thing, Johnny was trying so hard to cheer you up and make you forget about what happened. Which is working and for that you’re thankful.

On the same night, you swore to yourself that you will never let Jaehyun into your life again and make you feel small. You will never throw yourself to him again, or even spare a glance and waste your time with the one and only guy whom you allowed to break your heart over and over again. But not anymore.

Jaehyun was nothing but sweet to you and that’s all he’ll ever be.

Five years later

When you came home from work, you caught your boyfriend cooking dinner with a glass of cold wine beside him. You greet him, “hey” and kissed him on the cheek before you wrap your arms around his strong built body.

“Tired? Hows work? I have big news” he says while stirring something from the pan. You told him he could tell the big news first because he looks excited, and so he did. With big smiles and overflowing excitement, he said that “Jaehyun is going to get married and I’m his best man!” you almost let out a laugh but you stopped yourself.

“Mhmm. Guess who’s taking care of the wedding....” you teased him. But just as you burst your boyfriend’s bubble, his reaction was quite unexpected.

“N-no, don’t tell me it’s you” he suddenly stopped cooking, he wasn’t mad. Just shocked at the moment and because of the big news.

“Johnny- Don’t tell me you’re being jealous right now...” you tease him further, “he’s like a college fling baby, and you’re the real deal!” you kiss him on the lips but he’s still sulking and went back to cooking.

“We both know it’s not just a fling” he whines.

“He’s getting married and we’re literally inseparable. What are you so jealous of? You know I saw Jaehyun looked at his fiancé and guess what,”

“What?” he turns off the stove and prepared two plates for dinner which you helped him do.

“He never looked at me that way, but you did” you see a shy smile on his face now and poke his cheek but he's quick to catch your hand and pull you into a hug. The kind of hug only Johnny can provide.

“Sorry, that was so childish of me”

“It’s okay. Dinner looks good, is this a new recipe?”

Soon after dinner, Johnny expresses his apology in bed in many ways he can, making you feel good and treating you right as always until it became too exhausting because you don’t think you could cum anymore after having your fourth…or fifth? To be honest you’re not sure anymore.

But even though you’re tired and exhausted, you still can’t help but reminisce. Throughout the years of forgetting Jaehyun, Johnny has always been patient with you and waited for you to heal from Jaehyun. Johnny brought you to the movies and went out with you while Jaehyun only promised. It's like Jaehyun kept promising you things but Johnny is the one keeping them.

“I thought you’re exhausted?” He kissed your shoulder to bring you back to Earth when he saw you spacing out. “Stop thinking. I’ll marry you too, you know that right?” oh you know that all too well, so you nod and kissed him. Whispered ‘i love yous’ over and over again, and thanked him for being the one for you. It was never easy for both of you, but still, you yearn for each other. Sometimes, love will point us to the wrong person so we could find the right person to us. Yes, Jaehyun was sweet, but Johnny is not only sweet in fact he showed his love to you since day 1.

[flightlessangelwings]

Special

Din Djarin x gn!reader (no use of y/n)

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: non really, fluff, pining, feelings, soft!Din, Gorgu being adorable

Notes: This one is dedicated to one of my best friends: the lovely @ollypopp​, happy early birthday babe!! Thank you to @we-can-be-himbos​ for beta reading for me too! 

~

The hull of the Razor Crest hummed quietly as you sat with Grogu. It was a rare moment of peace and quiet in your crazy life with the little one and the Mandalorian, and you came to treasure these moments whenever they occurred. You had just escaped from another bout with a group of bounty hunters who were after Grogu, and this time you felt lucky to have made it out in one piece. But that was thanks to the Mandalorian, who always looked after you and the child and did anything within his power to keep you both safe.

You gathered together three small plates of food while the little one watched with wide eyes. When you felt his gaze on you, you grinned at him, “I know buddy,” you told him softly as you put the finishing touches on one of the plates, “I’m almost done.” You heard him coo softly as he looked down with a little pout and it almost tore your heart out. The kid knew how to pull at your strings for sure, but you didn’t mind at all.

Then, as you held a piece of fruit, you got an idea. 

“Grogu,” you called his name with a grin and waited for him to look back up at you.

He answered with an inquisitive coo and immensely lit up when he saw that you held out the fruit for him.

“Come on, you can do it,” you encouraged him as you watched his eyes squint in concentration. A few moments of tension went by as Grogu focused his energy into channeling his powers. 

You whispered soft words of encouragement as he worked to summon the piece of fruit in your hand, and when he finally did, you erupted into cheers, “Yes! Good job!” You jumped with joy as Grogu happily nibbled on his prize with a grin of his own on his face, “You snack on that while I bring this up to Din.”

Grogu happily munched without a care in the galaxy as you grabbed one of the trays and went up to the cockpit. You knocked on the door before you let yourself in, a habit you developed without a real reason to. Din never minded when you joined him, and never asked you to knock before you entered. Yet you did anyway, just in case you caught him without his helmet on. That consideration was something Din really appreciated about you, among other things.

“Here, this is for you,” you set the tray down next to where he sat. The two of you stayed in awkward silence for several moments as you fiddled with your fingers.

“Thank you,” he finally broke the silence with a nod, and his breath caught in his throat when your face lit up with a smile. Din loved to see you smile, and he would do anything to see it every day.

You bit your lip and nodded, “I’ll leave you to it then,” you lingered in the doorway for another moment before you finally went back down to join Grogu. Din watched the doorway for a time before he let out a heavy sigh and turned his gaze to the tray you lovingly prepared for him.

Lost in a dreamy haze, you were completely unprepared for the sight that met you when you came back into the hull. Grogu had not only summoned his tray, but yours as well and he sat surrounded by knocked over piles of food. He sat contently as he munched on the various pieces you had set out. He had made a mess, but he didn’t seem to care at all.

“Grogu…” you chastised him playfully as you rolled your eyes. You couldn’t help but laugh though, and he quickly joined in your laughter.

You grabbed a cloth and wiped up his face and tried to clean up around him. Grogu watched you as he took another bite.

“You’re really special, kid, you know that,” you said with genuine care as you pinched his cheek lightly, “Special just like your dad.”

He cooed at you and tilted his head to the side, which made you feel the need to continue, “You’re both so strong in your own ways, and you both have a will like no other. No wonder you two bonded so well,” you flashed a sad smile, “I don’t know what I’d do without either of you.”

Grogu cooed happily as he reached out for you with a wordless plea to be picked up. With a smile, you complied with his request and cradled the little being in your arms as you went on, “I feel so lucky you chose me,” you said to him in a soft voice as you nuzzled his forehead with your own, “Both of you,” Grogu giggled at the mention of Din, “That Mandalorian has a good heart under all that beskar,” you placed a finger to your lips, “But that’s our little secret. We won’t let anyone know that the big tough Mando is secretly a softie.” That made Grogu chuckle again, and you joined in his laughter.

Unbeknownst to you, Din had come down into the main hull and heard everything you said to the kid. He felt conflicted; he never wanted to eavesdrop on you and break your trust, but every word out of your mouth went right to his heart. He stayed perfectly still and listened in silence as you poured your heart out to the little one, and he could tell that you meant every word you said. The earnesty in your voice made his heart melt under the beskar, and Din wanted nothing more than to reach out to you and hold you close.

When you suddenly turned around, you gasped loudly when you were almost face to face with the Mandalorian. He quickly reached out to you as a reflex to protect both you and the child in your arms, but retreated back into himself just as fast when he realized you were startled with his unexpected presence. 

“Din…” you breathed as you held tight to Grogu, “How… I… We… Ummm…” you stumbled over your words as you tried to formulate a complete thought. He stood silent as you cleared your throat and started again, “How long were you standing there?” you finally asked in a hushed tone.

Clearly you were nervous about how much he had heard, and when he tilted his head down in response, you knew he heard everything you said. Your eyes went wide as you dropped your gaze down to the floor. You tightened your grip on the child as a rush of nerves ran through you.

“Din I…” you took a step back as your voice quivered.

He interrupted you with your name, “Wait,” the sound of his voice stopped you in your tracks and you looked up to meet the gaze of his visor. Both of you fell silent for several moments, and the tension could be felt in the room. “I’m sorry,” he finally said, “I didn't mean to eavesdrop.”

You bit your lip and nodded, “It’s ok,” your voice was barely a whisper but you knew he heard it.

Din took a breath before he added, “You’re special too.”

That made your eyes widen and you felt the way your heart pounded in your chest. If the child felt it, he didn’t show it and he just watched the two of you in silence. Maybe he sensed the emotions from the two of you and decided to stay quiet and let you both work it out on your own.

“I’m glad you’re with us too,” he added as he took a tentative step towards you. He was covered head to toe in beskar armor, and yet Din had never felt more vulnerable or exposed than he did at this very moment. He wasn’t used to dealing with feelings, be it his own or someone else’s, but he felt it too important not to let it go. You were too important to let go. 

No, Din would face this head on like he did everything else in his life.

“You’re stronger than you realize,” he went on as he took another step closer when you didn't back away, “You keep us together,” Din chuckled softly, “And I don’t know what I would do without you,” he echoed your words to Grogu earlier and your breath caught in your throat.

Din carefully reached out to cup your face, gentle in his touch so that you could push him away if you wanted to. When you didn’t, he slowly wrapped an arm around you and rested his arm on your waist. It felt better than he ever could have imagined to hold you close like this, and when you let out a heavy exhale, he knew you felt safe and comfortable in his embrace.

You leaned into his chest and placed your free hand on the beskar plate in front of you. When you finally let your breath go, you felt Din hold you tighter and suddenly everything felt right. With Grogu in your arms and you in Din’s, you felt like the pieces of the puzzle finally came together. The three of you stayed like that for some time, just comfortable with each other.

This time it was you who broke the silence with a soft giggle. When Din questioned you, you peeled yourself off his chest to meet his visor again, “I was right.”

He tilted his head to the side in a wordless question.

“You do have a good heart under this,” you patted his armored chest and your heart skipped a beat when you heard him laugh softly.

“That’s supposed to be your secret,” you heard the grin in his tone and it made you smile even brighter.

Din used the hand that stayed on your face to lean your head forward a bit while he tilted his helmet down to meet your forehead. You let him guide you and you let out a sigh of relief when you felt the coolness of his helmet against your face. Din rubbed his thumb across your face in a comforting manner and you could feel his affection even through the layers he wore. You could have stayed like that forever, but a coo from your arms called your attention.

You glanced down at Grogu to see him rub his eyes and yawn, “I think he wants to go to bed,” you said to Din as you looked back at him. You couldn’t help the yawn that you let out as you suddenly felt tired as well.

“I think we all could use some rest,” Din said as he dropped his hand from your face and held it out for you to take.

It took you a moment to realize what he meant, but you lit up and took his hand when you did. The three of you all got settled in the little bunk and it didn’t take long from there for you all to fall asleep. And it was the most restful, peaceful sleep you all had in a very long time. You all were safe and secure together, just as you should be. And you all had never been happier.

[miss-smutty]

Forbidden

Chapter 3

A/N- Evey couple of chapters you will get Professor Hemsworth's POV and this is the first one 🥵 I really wanted to write his story and hear his thoughts too.

Summary- He can't get her out of his mind, the girl in the coffee shop. Will fate bring them together again?

Word count- 2.9K

Pairing- Prof!Hems X Reader

Warnings- Age gap (OC is 20) student/professor relationship, swearing, dirty talk

18+ Only!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 5th Sept 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires @monet-belle @help2700 @presidentpotts

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chris Pov

My Apartment was silent as usual, empty like always when I arrived home from work, throwing my coat and bag on to the sofa and slumping down next to them.

I couldn't stand the silence, it taunted me and brought back memories I'd rather not remember. I'd thought about getting a roommate but still hadn't gotten around to posting out an ad, the idea made me nervous. Although I hated being alone, living with a stranger would be even worse. I turned on the TV to fill the expanse of the large empty room that I'd work so hard for but ultimately meant absolutely nothing to me.

My mind began to wander back to this morning and the chance meeting with the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on. She'd taken my breath away and made me so nervous that I'd used some cheesy chat up line. I'd known at the time it would come back to haunt me tonight, no wonder she ran out of there as soon as she could. Thats why I hesitated, my hand brushed against the small of her back when I was about to ask her for her number and it took away my sensibility. I leaned in like I was about to kiss her, thank god I stopped myself though, how ridiculous would that have been?

I'd spoke to her for no more than ten minutes but somehow felt like I'd known her all my life. Asking for her number wouldn't have been the most unusual thing but she was in such a rush and I didn't want to make her late. There's absolutely nothing more I hate than tardiness.

I still couldn't get her off of my mind, she was beautiful, long dark hair that flowed down her back and the most piercing green eyes I'd ever seen. I couldn't stop looking into them, framed by dark eyelashes that made the emerald green pop even more. It's been a long time since I'd met a woman that made me feel as nervous as she did. The only thing is, she was young, much younger than me and I'd be fooling myself to think I'd actually stand a chance with her. Even if by some miracle I did, she deserved more than what I could give her, I was a mess, even after all this time I was still living in the past.

**********

I woke up feeling like a teenage boy again, a tent of my erection in the cotton sheets sprawled across my middle. I'd dreamt about the girl all night and honestly nothing about it was innocent. I rubbed at my eyes and stretched my muscles before finally getting out of bed, I had my first Junior Comms class to teach today and of course, I couldn't be late.

To say I was dreading today would be an understatement, I'd made a deal with the Dean to teach the Comms class because none of the other professors were willing and I was desperate for a job. I was hoping that if I exceeded expectations during my first semester I would finally get to teach psychology like I'd planned in the first place. Of course that meant being on my best behaviour and a lot of arse kissing, which I would do, albeit reluctantly.

The air was crisp this morning as I set off walking towards the university, luckily for me I didn't live to far away from the campus and the walk would help distract my thoughts because God knows they needed distracting. They always did.

Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the halls, looking up at the architecture of the building and realising my idea to walk obviously hadn't worked. I'd barely paid attention the entire time and it was only muscle memory that had gotten me to my required destination.

I held onto the door handle of the lecture hall and took a deep breath before stepping in, the room erupting into wolf whistles was not what I expected but admittedly better than what I was thinking. I scanned the room and my students, rolling my eyes at the girls lining the front row, their eager faces taking me in. 

The class was full of typical students, the usual cliques you see at every educational institution. The jocks and cheerleaders, the nerds and oh fuck. The air was almost knocked from my lungs when I spotted her sat at the back of class. The girl I'd been talking to in the coffee shop yesterday, the girl that had been on my mind and in my dreams ever since. She was here, right in front of me which meant she was my student and younger than I'd actually thought. Fuck.

Even though she was now out of bounds I couldn't take my goddamn eyes off of her, the way her wavy hair cascaded over her shoulders. I could feel my cock tingling when my eyes fell to her low cut top and that unreal cleavage. I pulled my eyes away from her so as not to draw attention and focused on preparing for the lesson, leaving the students to whisper for a while longer while I recovered my composure.

Like a magnet, my eyes unwillingly kept finding their way back to her and she looked uncomfortable, squirming in her seat. I was making her uncomfortable and I still couldn't stop myself, I frowned as I subtly watched her cheeks blush and realised she's probably embarrassed because she'd been flirting with her Professor. Of course she'd be embarrassed, I was so much older than her but was it wrong that I didn't feel one ounce of awkwardness at the fact I had been flirting with a student?

All I could think about as I watched her tits bounce as she moved In her seat, was burying my face in her cleavage and I knew I had to look away before my dick reacted. The last thing I needed in a class full of students was to be walking around with a fucking erection.

I could stand there and watch her all day but certain students had stopped talking and they were waiting for me to speak and I'd almost forgotten why I was here In the first place. I really needed to get my head in the game, being infatuated with a student would definitely not get me the promotion I was looking for.

I pushed my hands in my tight pockets, hoping to stretch the fabric a little so my semi-hard dick wasn't so apparent, then my eyes were drawn to her again and she was talking to Jake. That pissed me off and I could feel my jaw tensing as I cleared my throat rather forcibly, hoping to get the attention of the whole class at the same time as distracting her from the rather friendly conversation she was having with another guy. A guy her age at that.

"Now I've got your attention, we're going to use our first session to get to know each other a little better. You'll be doing quite a lot of speeches so it's best if you feel comfortable with one another. I'll start by introducing myself." I looked at her again, gulping hard when I saw her with the end of her pen in her mouth and the way her lips wrapped around it. Fuck. "So, I'm Professor Hemsworth and I'm originally from Melbourne in Australia." I looked to her and she smiled, remembering what we spoke about yesterday.

A student started with the typical Australian stereotypes although I'm actually surprised no one told me to throw another shrimp on the Barbie. I laughed along anyway, I'd been expecting it, it's literally the first thing anyone who isn't Australian says when they first meet me. So when I told him it wasn't very original I meant it, I'd heard it a thousand times before and I'll hear it a thousand times again.

I told the class a little about myself before informing them they would do the same, it didn't go down well, the room filled with groans. I looked to her and she looked downright terrified, I sympathized for her, it wasn't easy speaking in front of a room full of people but was the best way to break the ice.

"Claire Abbott." I called, watching the blonde at the front stand, nervously. She giggled and twirled her hair around her finger as she smiled at me, I knew what she was doing. I quickly glanced at the girl from the coffee shop as she rolled her eyes at the blonde at the front, I smirked back at her, amused at her tolerance for predictable girls.

"I erm… I don't know what to say?" The blonde said, looking at me questioningly.

"Just anything about yourself that we might find interesting, the first thing that comes to mind."

"Well I own four horses and I'm the cheer captain." I had to stop myself from laughing when she rolled her eyes again but the smile soon disappeared when I saw Jake lean over to speak to her and the way she laughed at him made my blood boil. I was seething, not because they were speaking instead of listening but because she was speaking to him instead of me.

"You two at the back, we'll wait for you shall we?" I called them out, my voice more stern than I expected. I was pissed off that Jake would easily be able to get to know her and I couldn't. She stared at me, her eyes wide, she was surprised I'd called them out in front of everyone which made me even more pissed off because that probably blew my chances even more. What the hell am I thinking? What chances, I need to remember I'm her fucking Professor.

She sat silently through the rest of the class, I still couldn't keep my eyes off of her and thankfully neither could she. She looked flustered and I liked it, I liked that I could make her feel that way without even touching her. She was so goddamn hot I could hardly concentrate on what the other students were saying.

When I glanced down at the sheet of names in front of me and saw Jake's name my jaw clenched.

"Jake Hudson." I couldn't help narrowing my eyes as he stood up, I just knew he'd say something cocky and I was so fucking jealous of him right now. I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath, I needed to keep my cool, especially in a room full of students and her. If she knew what I was really like she wouldn't look at me the way she did.

"Hi, I'm Jake." I bit onto the inside of my gum, that bit of pain keeping me grounded. "I'm also from Australia." He gave me that fucking cocky half arsed smile I'd been waiting for and the adrenaline shot through me. I was thankful no one noticed apart from maybe the one person in here I didn't want to notice. She was watching me carefully. I had to loosen my tie a little as he continued to speak, I was burning up with rage.

I'm glad class was almost over, I needed a stiff drink and I needed it now. I looked at my sheet of names again and there were only a couple left, I wondered which one was hers. I needed to know her name. Fuck. I needed to know everything about her.

"Jessica Watson." She stood up. Fuck, Jessica, it was a cute name and fit her perfectly. I was mesmerized with her and the way she spoke as she tucked her long hair behind her ears. "These last couple of days have been pretty eventful for me." She looked right at me, what was she going to say? "I'm living the life of a romance novels heroine and I'm excited to see what the next couple of days bring." Oh fuck. Was she talking about meeting me? Or Jake? I like to think by the way she studied me as she spoke, she was talking about me. This was wrong, so wrong but why did it feel so right? I forgot there was anybody else in the room, my cock twinging as I pictured myself fucking her on this desk. I needed to stop thinking like this, it's unprofessional and completely immoral. I shook my head and turned back to the class.

"I hope we all feel a bit more comfortable with each other now, some of you shared some pretty revealing things." I looked at Jessica. "Some of you, not so much." Then raised my eyebrows at a group of guys in the middle of class that had used thier time to inform everyone about the party at their frat house this weekend. "I'll have a schedule for you all next time I see you, anybody that has any questions can see me after class, everyone else is free to leave." I looked at her one last time, hoping she'd use this opportunity to come and speak to me.

I sighed when I sat back at my desk and a group of girls took their opportunity, I wasn't in the mood for it but answered their questions anyway. I didn't take my eyes from Jessica, especially when Jake started speaking to her again. The girls in front of me were taking up my time, trying to flirt with me instead of asking relevant questions and I was over it.

"Do you actually have any questions about the course ladies? I have other things to be getting on with if not." I was a little short with them without actually meaning to be. I just wanted them out of my goddamn way so I could see what was going on with Jessica and Jake.

The girls finally left, more like stormed off but I couldn't care less right now. She was still sat at her desk which means she waited until I was alone which has got to be a good sign. We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, the silence driving me insane so I cleared my throat and she blinked like I'd woken her from a daydream. What was she thinking about?

She packed up her things into her bag slowly, I could tell she was buying herself time but I felt relaxed now we were alone, in fact I felt excited which was completely ridiculous. I felt like a damn teenager.

"Did you need to talk Miss Watson?" I was amused and I needed to break the ice before the silence got the better of me. I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms across my chest.

"I erm…" She walked towards me, down the stairs, looking at her feet. She was unsteady and looked nervous as hell, was she going to tell me to back off? "I wanted to apologise, I had no idea you were a Professor." She stood at the bottom of the stairs, I was glad she wasn't too close. I don't know if I'd be able to control myself around her and lord knows I had to. The atmosphere was tense, neither of us really knowing what to say or do, all I could think about was ripping off her clothes.

"There's no need to apologise Miss Watson, I also had no idea you were a student but I was hoping to bump into you again. Funny how things work out isn't it?" I cocked my eyebrow at her, testing her, seeing how she would react to my comment. Something changed and she didn't look quite so nervous anymore.

"I think fate can be rather cruel Professor Hemsworth." The way she called me Professor stirred something deep inside me, a hunger I didn't know I had and when she moved closer to me I began to feel nervous.

"Oh really? Why is that Miss Watson?" She was so close now, I could smell her sweet scent of coconut shampoo. I wanted to touch her badly, I didn't though. I didn't dare because I knew if I did I wouldn't be able to stop myself and I must restrain, she's my student after all. It's wrong. It's forbidden.

I still couldn't stop myself from flirting, like an uncontrollable impulse and as soon as I opened my mouth to try and be professional I would just go right ahead and flirt. She was so outrageously attractive but the kind of attractive where she didn't know it and didn't flaunt it, which I found even more endearing.

"I was hoping to bump into you again too, only now the thought of what could've happened will have to remain a fantasy." My restraint was really being tested now, she was teasing me, egging me on and the fact she'd also been fantasising about me made it extra difficult to resist. I had to loosen my tie again, I needed my fingers to be busy so I didn't touch her. I had an internal conflict going on inside my mind and it was like torture, if this was day one of class how the hell was I meant to survive the whole semester?

"I better get to my next class, we can't have anyone thinking I'm your favourite now can we?" Fuck sake. I ground my teeth together, I was glad she was leaving, I couldn't take the tension any longer but at the same time I knew, with distance the desire would only intensify. She turned to leave and I couldn't stop myself watching her hips sway as she walked, her ass was so round and bouncy, it hypnotised me and that's when I knew I was in deep trouble.

[jawritter]

Don’t Make A Sound

Requested by anon HERE

Summary: You are forced to share a bed with Jensen due to overbooking at the Dallas Con he had to work at. What do you do when you catch your boss having a very hot wet dream?

Warnings: Smut, Bed Humping, Masterbation, Public Smut?, Language, shameless objectification of Jensen Ackles, Jensen having a wet dream (yes that’s a warning) I think that’s about it. This is pretty much porn, and I’m not sorry. 

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 1931

A/N: This is completely unbeta’d, so all mistakes are mine! Just thought I’d throw this one out there for you guys since my posting got thrown off by a hurricane, and I’m feeling generous tonight. Besides, who can say no to a bed humping Jensen Ackles? I didn’t think so. Please do not copy my work! Feedback is golden! I hope you all enjoy this one!!

Want more? Check out my Masterlist!

***MASTERLIST***

You don’t know how you got here… Wait a minute… That’s not entirely true. You do know how you got here. There were no other rooms available, it was the last Dallas Con of the year, and it had been put off and hyped up so long that it was overbooked. 

You’d been working as Jensen Ackles PA for the last six months. With SPN ending, and his new role on The Boys looming, he’d been overwhelmed in his workload, and he needed a little extra help getting organized, which is where you come in. 

Normally you would have just rented a room close to his. This time though, there were no other rooms available, and the only room available by the time Jensen and yourself got to Dallas was a suite with one king bed. Jensen let you stay with him, saying there was no way in hell you were going to drive across town to rent another room when there was a perfectly good room with a big enough bed to share right here. 

Now here you are.

So yes, you know very well how you got here. Laying in bed, wide awake, staring at the ceiling unable to sleep, with your extremely hot boss laying in nothing but a pair of loose-fitting boxer shorts, and a black fitted T-Shirt, less than a whole foot away from you.

Couldn’t get any more awkward? Wait!! There’s more!!!

Why not just sleep on the pull out couch in the room? Well, that’s because it was currently occupied by one Misha Collins, who had flown down with Jensen and yourself from Vancouver and found himself in the same boat as you. Roomless. 

Alcohol flowed as it does at cons. Too many shots were taken at the bar downstairs attached to the hotel, and Misha was allowed to pass out on the pullout to avoid a drunk Uber ride to God knows where he’d end up. 

You felt Jensen’s weight shift next to you, and a low grunt leaves his lips, but he didn’t wake up. The room was stuffy, and he’d kicked the covers off an hour ago, the light coming from the still it bathroom left very little to the imagination as he shifted over to his stomach with his arms tucked under his pillow. The delicious curve of his ass on display in the loose-fitting boxer shorts, and the T-Shirt that had shoved it’s way up higher on his stomach when he rolled over, leaving that dip in his back exposed that people fangirled all over the globe. 

You mentally slap yourself for drooling over your boss while he unknowingly slept next to you, and forced your eyes to focus back on the ceiling. You were finally starting to feel somewhat of tiredness pull at your subconscious, and you finally let your eyes drift close. Then you heard it. A low moan comes from the extravagantly hot man lying next to. Barely audible, but definitely a moan. 

Your eyes shoot to Jensen as if someone had thrown cold water on you, but he was still laying in the same position sound asleep. 

Maybe you were dreaming and didn’t realize you had fallen asleep. 

Before you could pull your eyes away from his gorgeous body, his hips rolled ever so slightly, and a light moan fell from his lips again, pulling his boxers tighter against his well-formed ass from all the years of fight scene on Supernatural. 

You didn’t move, fuck you barely dared to breathe as you watched him. He was seriously laying next to you having a wet dream? No way.

Your eyes shot over to Misha, who was still sound asleep, or just flat passed out, Jared had pretty much drank him under the table in a bet. He was out thankfully. 

Jensen’s hips shifted again, and your eyes shot back to the scene playing out next to you as Jensen’s hips started to shifted up and down a little as he rutted himself against the mattress in his sleep, his hips finding a deep rhythm as little grunts and moans continued to fall almost inaudible from his perfect mouth. 

You knew you shouldn’t watch, this was wrong, you should look away, but every woman with a pulse, and some men for that matter, wouldn't be able to look away from this. No way. Not a chance.

Jensen’s hips rolled harder, pushing himself deeper against the mattress in search of more friction, and your hand wandered into the waistband of your shorts without you even really realizing it, finding your little bundle of nerve you began to rub harsh little circles matching his pace.

“Hmph fuck,” Jensen murmured in his sleep as he continued to hump himself into the bed, and with a deeper roll of his hips, the red swollen tip of his erection slipped threw he little slit in his boxers, rolling against the mattress as Jensen continued to fuck himself into it. A bead of precum formed at the tip as he continued to swell under his own administrations, dripping onto the white sheet underneath him. 

You bite down on your lower lip to suppress the moan that desperately wanted to fall from your lips as you watch him, slipping your fingers inside your shorts deeper, teasing your clenching entrancing that desperately wanted to be stretched by the man next to you.

He was fucking beautiful. His throbbing erection slipping through the opening in the front of his boxers, rolling against the bed with each push of his hips. His brow furrowed with a thin layer of sweat already forming there. His lips pouted in concentration. 

With each roll of his hips against the mattress, his breath started to become a pant, and a hushed moan from a moment ago became more and more prominent. 

“Y/N!” he moaned loudly, and his eyes snapped open mid-thrust against the now rooted covers that had gathered underneath him. His eyes wide with horror as embarrassment burned hot in his face. His perching green eyes locked with yours before a prominent pout formed on his beautiful face, and you were almost sure for a moment he looked as if he was going to cry from sheer embarrassment. 

Quickly jerking himself back into his boxer he broke eye contact with you and made to get up out of the bed.

“Y/N, I’m so fucking sorry, I’ve never done anything like that before… I don’t… I’m sorry.” 

Grabbing his pillow he made to stand up but his throbbing length strained harder against the thin fabric of his boxers, so running with dignity was out of the window, hell dignity period was out of the window. Admitting defeat he grabbed the thin sheet and threw it over his hips, covering himself with the pillow that he had in his hand for good measure, then burying his face in his hands as if he wanted to die right there. 

You had two choices, you could roll over and pretend you weren’t just enjoying the show, because he’d obviously hadn’t noticed that you were, or you could shove him down on the bed, and give him the ride of his life. At this point your job was probably shot anyway, so you chose the former. He was so embarrassed that surely he’d fire you in the morning. 

“It’s okay Jensen," you whisper, crawling over to his side of the bed, and moving the pillow away from his lap, revealing the prominent tent in his boxers as you ripped the sheet away. 

He watched with his jaw hanging open as you slipped your shorts, and underwear down in one go before shoving him back down on the bed, shushing him as he laid back. 

“Don’t make a sound,” you tell him as quietly as you can, giving Misha a quick glance to make sure he was still sleeping before taking his pulsing length in your hand, pumping him a few times before sliding down onto him. 

Your mouth falls open in an inaudible moan as his back arched up to meet you as you slowly sink down onto his sizable length, and he stretches you open until you were fully seated on his lap with him inside of you, your walls already clenching around him as he bit down hard into his lips. 

He was already panting again, his eyes slammed shut in an attempt to make no sound, his mouth fallen open just slightly; letting you see his perfect row of white teeth and tongue peeking out just over the edge.

When he was finally able to open his eyes again they were at least three shades darker than what they were when he’d woken up, and his fingers found your hips in a bruising grip. Slowly at first, Jensen helped you begin to move your hips. Rolling in a slow teasing motion as you both become used to the feel of each other. His thick length hitting that place deep down inside of you very few men had ever reached, his eyes watched you bodies where they were connected.

You could already feel that familiar coil winding tight in your stomach as you moved above him, pushing you to rise and fall on him faster and faster as his hips rose and fell to meet yours as you rode him. 

“Fuck Y/N, I can’t, I’m about to fucking blow. Cum with me sweetheart,” he panted in a hushed whisper. Sitting up quickly he pulled your bodies tighter together as you continued to grind down on his cock, his pelvis hitting your clit at just the right angle, and before long you were a shaking mess on top of him as your walls clamped down around him, and he spilled his seed deep inside of you. Both of you held onto each other as he pushed you both through your high until you both fell back onto the bed a painting mess. 

You buried your head in Jensen’s shoulder as his arms wrapped around you protectively, his lips finding yours in a deep, passionate kiss. 

“That was,” Jensen said in a hushed whisper as his eyes searched yours and he struggled to find the words to say.

“About fucking time,” Misha exclaimed loudly from the pullout bed across the room. Making Jensen and yourself look at each other in a mix of embarrassment and amusement.

“Now if the two of you are fucking done, I’ve got a 5 AM flight I have to be ready for in the morning.” 

Jensen chucked as you buried yourself deeper into his hold, trying not to laugh hysterically because of your nerves. 

“Sorry Mish, go back to sleep,” he chucked as Misha got up and made his way to the bathroom, mumbling something about Jared owing him 100 bucks.

“So, where does this leave us?” you asked Jensen the question you feared the most, and he took a deep breath, staring towards the ceiling in thought.

“Well, I can either give you a raise and call you my VERY personal assistant or I can take you out to dinner tomorrow night; and call you my girlfriend instead?”

You settle yourself down into the covers as he pulled the over the two of you with a stupid smile plastered over your face. 

“You know what, dinner sounds great.”

Misha stumbles his way back to the bed, snorting in amusement. “Honestly Y/N, I would have taken the raise.”

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[multifandhoem]

server collab || i

Server Collab from the Haikyuu HQ server with the prompt: Mirror fuck.

A/N: i apologize already to everyone reading this. It is LONG.

Genre: fluff, smut, a little bit of angst

Warnings: girlxgirl, girlxboyxgirl, it’s polyamory people you get it, some cursing, dom!Hanamaki, dom!Kiyoko to some extent, a bit of switch!Kiyoko, sub!Reader, anal stuff, toys, double penetration, oral everywhere, praise kink (is that a warning?), no actual mention of the word but.. anxiety, teeny tiny bit public stuff, mirror sex (duh)

Word count: 11.402 (i am sorry)

Gripping the straps of your backpack tighter you stepped into the hall of your new university, the bustling and shuffling of all the new freshmen and welcoming upperclassmen intimidated you a little bit. The girl that stepped infant of you seemed like an angel sent from heaven, something to concentrate on in this sea of new information. 

Her talking to you was probably mandatory. But after looking at her and not believing your own eyes after realizing the immense beauty she possessed made you feel special that you were the one receiving attention from that goddess. 

She introduced herself as Kiyoko Shimizu, a college senior, who wants to inform you about all the things you could do to put emphasis on yourself in college, especially if working and/or studying in a male-dominated environment.

You could hear your heart beating in your ears, desperately trying to snap out of the daze you were in to actually engage in a conversation with her. 

“What about potential jobs in my field?” You feared you were rude by interrupting her, but you had to blurt it out before the courage left you again. 

And the way her eyes lit up at the question of interest, fumbling her phone out of her pockets and basically thrusting it into your face. “I can tell you in detail if you want! Over coffee! Today or tomorrow, whichever you prefer!”

You didn’t even like coffee. And you had plans for the next days. But you still couldn’t stop yourself from eagerly typing your number into her phone, telling her you’re free whenever. 

Kiyoko messaged you two hours after you’ve left the venue, only walking around with your head in the clouds after the encounter with the pretty girl, which was also smart and seemed interested. A jackpot. 

She asked you if you were free the next day at noon and you replied embarrassingly fast, agreeing to the time and place she picked out. You would even grab something to eat together! Not just coffee! Did this classify as a date? You were more or less fresh out of high school, taking a gap year in between to take internships, travel, and really decide what major to choose. 

And now this drop-dead gorgeous woman wants to have lunch with you. 

Kiyoko told you to call her Shimizu in the first fifteen minutes of your lunch date. She laughed at your awkward jokes and even wiped some crumbs of your cheek. You talked about the ways how you could get a job in your field and she gave you helpful tips, but you also talked about everything else. Favorite foods, childhoods, family, and so on. 

Your nervousness faded the longer you talked and you really started to be yourself around her, especially when you left the small diner to just aimlessly walk around, chatting the whole time. It wasn’t until the end of your meet-up when everything came crashing down. 

“I have to go now, every Thursday it’s movie night for me and my boyfriend and today it’s my turn to pick! But we should totally do this again!” 

Of course, it was too good to be true. She hugged you with blushy cheeks, keeping her hands on your shoulder after distancing herself again. “Where do you live? I’ll walk you home!” 

“Oh, that’s not necessary. I live on campus, it’s close by!” You tried not to let your hurt show in your words. 

Why were you even hurt? You met for the second time today. You didn’t even know her. Your stupid hopes were to blame. You turned around quickly, throwing her a half-assed smile before hurrying back home to have a frustrated cry and then hopefully getting over her. 

— — — 

“15 minutes later and I would’ve been legally allowed to choose!” Hanamaki Takahiro waved his favorite comedy around with a cheeky grin, standing up to press a kiss to Kiyoko’s lips when she kicked her shoes off and placed them neatly onto the shoe rack next to the front door. 

“I’m going to change, then I’m ready.” She gave him another peck, before sauntering off into their shared bedroom, fingers already tugging on the blouse she had tucked into her jeans. “How was the lunch date with your junior?” 

Makki plopped back down onto the couch, spreading his long limbs, waiting for his girlfriend to come back. “Good. We talked a lot, she’s really nice. And very cute, too.” At that, he perked up. “Yeah?” The door to the bedroom opened again and Shimizu came out, now clad in sweatpants and a loose shirt. “Yeah. Reminds me of Yachi a bit. But in a hotter way, you know?” 

“In a hotter way? Tell me more! You should invite her to the apartment sometime!” With a big grin on his face, Makki pulled her closer to his chest, after she finally put her choice of a movie into the DVD Player and sat down onto the couch. 

“Maybe I will. She doesn’t really know anyone here in Tokyo. Maybe we can invite Mattsun, too. Or Iwaizumi. Maybe some of the Karasuno boys. But only Sawamura or Koshi, the others are too wild.” Makki had to laugh at that. “You just said she was hot and now you want to play matchmaker?” 

“Let’s talk later and watch the movie. But I really want to do more with her. She’s nice.” 

“And cute in a hot way,” he teased her, before concentrating on the starting movie. 

— — —

When Shimizu messaged you and invited you for dinner at her place you nearly died a little on the inside. That was until you remembered the boyfriend. But did it really matter? 

You still don’t know her fully, having only met her a couple of times. And you had great conversations the times you’ve met. Maybe you should get over your teeny tiny crush you imagined for the girl and just try winning her as a friend. 

You regretted it a bit when she asked if it was okay if her boyfriend and a friend of his joined you. But you still said it didn’t matter. 

So here you were, the bottle of mediocre white wine in your slightly shaking hand in front of the building. Shimizu had sent you the address the day before, also telling you which floor and apartment so you slowly entered and made your way up the flights of stairs, to not be sweaty when appearing in front of her doorstep. Unfortunately for you, it wasn’t her who opened the front door when you finally rang the doorbell. 

The man had a bright grin in his face, looking down on you with an unusual amount of interest. 

“You must be, Y/N, right? Nice to finally meet you, Mizu has been talking a lot about you!” I extended his arm in a friendly manner, even though he seemed more like the hugging type. 

Maybe Shimizu had told him that you weren’t that keen on first-time skinship. 

“I’m Hanamaki, but you can call me Makki.” He started talking again and only then you realized that you had not said anything yet. “Sorry, I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you, too!” 

Why did you introduce yourself again? He already knew your name. Stupid. 

But he practically beamed at your response, stepping aside to let you in. “Come in, come in! Mizu is in the kitchen. I’m going to show you around for a bit. Well, it isn’t big anyways. As you can see we’re in the living room.” He seemed a bit nervous, but maybe you were just misinterpreting him. 

Shimizu interrupted him by coming out of an archway, hugging you in an instant. “I am so happy to see you again! How are you?” 

You felt your ears burning, being this close to her, but still managed to stutter out a response. “I’m fine, I think I’m kind of getting used to living alone.” Shimizu smiled at you approvingly. “Well, if you need help with anything, don’t be afraid to ask. Even if- oh shit!” Ringing from the room, you presumed it was the kitchen, interrupted Shimizu and she was quick to dash back there, leaving you alone with Hanamaki again. 

It was quiet only for a second before he was talking again. “Well, there is the kitchen. The apartment is pretty small really, through this door is a small hallway, our bedroom is on the left and the bathroom on the right.” He opened the door to the small hallway, pointing at the two doors while talking. 

“Ehm... Hanamaki-san.. is there a place where I can put this?” He blinked at you for a second, before his eyes darted down to your hands, which still clasped the bottle of wine between them. “Oh shit! Sorry, sorry, I’ll take it and put it in the refrigerator. That’s what you’re supposed to do with white wine, right?” He beckoned for you to follow him into the kitchen, where Shimizu was busy cutting away. You immediately felt a bit more relaxed around her and it seemed as it was the same for Hanamaki-san. 

“By the way, you really don’t have to call me Hanamaki-san. Just Hanamaki or Makki is fine!” The grin on his face was inviting and even though he didn’t seem that much as you type, you still found him attractive at that moment. Lazily leaning back against the counter, eyes focused on you, and grinning in such a friendly but still with a teasing edge to it. You nearly forgot to answer. “O-okay, Makki-san.” He playfully rolled his eyes at the honorific but decided to leave it at that. You had to chuckle a bit at his antics, missing the content smile that adored Shimizu’s face while she was watching you over her shoulder. 

“Can I help you with anything, Shimizu-san?” You felt bad that she was the only one working, now stirring the pot she had added the freshly cut vegetables into. “No, no, it’s okay! I’m nearly finished, anyway, I just need to add the stock and then this will have to cook for a while.” She threw you a dazzling smile and to accentuate her words, she poured a jug of liquid into the pot, putting a lid halfway on afterward and setting a timer. 

You knew that it would still take a while until you would start eating together. But it still felt weird being here without any purpose. 

“Let’s go back into the living room!” Hanamaki gently laid a hand onto your back, pushing you back into the biggest room of the apartment while Shimizu washed her hands. “Do you want to open a bottle of wine?” Shimizu called after you and you made an affirmative noise. “For me a beer!” 

Hanamaki and you took a seat on the couch, he was comfortably spread out while your position was still a bit stiff. You didn’t know him after all. 

 “Wait, babe, you should’ve said something!” He shot up again, helping Shimizu, who balanced two wine glasses and a bottle of beer in one hand and a wine bottle already in a cooler in the other. “You could have used your head!” The jab could’ve been snappy, but the playful tone softened in a way that made you understand their relationship for the first time.  

They must’ve known each other for a long time.

“How did you two meet?” The question escaped you before you could hold your curiosity back. “I managed the boys' volleyball team in high school and Hiro was on our opponent's team,” Shimizu explained while giving you a filled wine glass. “I nearly hit the other manager of her team with a stray ball.” Hanamaki giggled at the memory. “Mizu here saved poor Yachi and I went over to apologize and well, as they say, the rest is history!” He blinked exaggeratedly at Shimizu, who just scoffed with a smile. “We didn’t really start talking until we moved to Tokyo. And then I met him on my way to the convenience store and we decided to talk a bit.”

It was so normal and simple. But still very romantic in your eyes. “Like we were meant to be!” Hanamaki dramatically threw himself back onto the couch, his now opened beer bottle securely in his hand. Shimizu took a seat in the armchair slightly across from you and you felt kind of weird, separating the couple like that. But both looked content, you didn’t want to destroy the atmosphere by doing something awkward. 

Knowing you, it would happen sooner or later anyway. 

But at least for the next few minutes, you had peace, engaging in various small talk with the two of them, gradually relaxing and even cracking some jokes on your own, much to the delight of Hanamaki. And as the lightweight you were you could already feel the glass of wine, admittedly, you had downed that very quickly on a near-empty stomach. But you didn’t mind the relaxed atmosphere. Not worrying about everything you did or said was quite soothing for a change. 

“Oikawa was pretty dumb, you know one time…” Hanamaki interrupted himself by laughing and seeing his eyes crinkle in joy made a dreaded warmth bloom in your chest. You were reminiscing on your old high school days, Hanamaki being at it with stories from his team captain for the last twenty minutes. When he wanted to start again, still gasping for air, the doorbell interrupted him, and an excited look shot across his face. “Mattsun!” 

With a huge grin on his face, he darted across the room to the front door, opening it in an abrupt motion, to showcase the tall dark-haired male behind it for a second until he was already engulfed by Hanamaki. Both men hugged for a solid minute until Hanamaki ushered the other one, Mattsun apparently, in. Shimizu had also stood up to hug the newcomer, leaving you kind of awkwardly standing by the side. “That’s Y/N. She’s a friend of Shimizu’s and a freshman!” Thank god for the wine or you would’ve nearly passed out when Hanamaki suddenly threw an arm around your shoulder and pressed you into his side. 

“Hi, nice to meet you! I’m Matsukawa Issei. Hiro and I went to high school together.” The tall stranger extended his hand towards you and you shook it with a friendly smile on your face. “Nice to meet you too, Matsukawa-san.” 

After Matsukawa had finished his first beer, you and Shimizu were nearly down with the bottle of wine, the timer rang from the kitchen, indicating that the sauce was finished and the meat was perfectly tender. 

Eating something felt good, it cleared your head a bit from the alcohol, especially the glass of water you had next to your wine helped. Matsukawa was a bit quieter than Hanamaki but still held an active conversation. Shimizu however was another story. She was much quieter than when you met up with only the two of you, silently observing everything going on at the table and only occasionally adding her thoughts. You liked it. It would be overwhelming to have multiple different opinions voiced at all times. And getting to know something different about Kiyoko Shimizu was always a pleasure.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki were joking the whole time, making you snort into your glass more than once, but you got rewarded by the proud smiles they sent your way. As the second bottle of wine slowly disappeared into your’s and Shimizu’s stomach, the men cracked their third or fourth bottle of beer open when everyone was more than stuffed with the delicious dinner Shimizu and Hanamaki had conjured. 

 “So, I would say we load up the dishwasher, and then we wait a bit before dessert or else Mattsun will blow up.” Hanamaki stood up and started collecting all of the plates, ready to take them into the kitchen. “Damn right, I will,” Mattsun grunted affirmatively but stood up with everyone else to make the cleanup faster. 

Shortly after you were all huddled in the living room again, the couch now more crowded with Shimizu, Hanamaki, and you, while Matsukawa took up the armchair, dangling his legs from the sides. If you would shift just a bit, your thighs would be touching Shimizu’s. But you tried to contain yourself. It would only make everything uncomfortable for everybody around. 

It was weird sitting there with them. You anticipated feeling left out, they all knew each other since high school and you only got to know two of them today. Yet everything fell somehow into place. Shimizu’s occasional giggle or when she added something to the stories the other two were animatedly telling, Hanamaki’s touchy personality, where he hit you continuously every time he laughed too hard, apologizing afterwards, still with a glimmer in his eyes and Matsukawa’s jokes he cracked. 

The evening turned into nighttime and sooner than not you were growing tired, yawning every other minute, head slightly dropping down only for you to catch yourself again. 

“Aw, baby, are you growing tired?” In the past hours, they had teased you about being the youngest, all of them being two years older than you. Shimizu had once even described you as her baby, obviously not knowing what it did to you. She even asked very concernedly if you were alright when your face looked like a blazing tomato. 

You could only nod at Hanamaki’s words, rubbing your eyes and standing up, a bit wobbly on your feet from sitting so long and the amount of alcohol you had consumed. “I’ll call it a night then. Thank you for inviting me.” You shot a smile at Shimizu and Hanamaki, turning to Matsukawa right afterwards. “It was nice meeting you!” 

“Likewise!” You shared a quick hug before you made your way over to the door, to slip into your shoes. “I’ll walk you home, it’s already late.” Hanamaki surprised you a bit when he also slipped into an oversized bomber jacket and worn down sneakers, grabbing a set of keys and patiently waiting next to the door. 

“No, no, you really don’t have to. I’ll be fine,” you tried to convince him, only receiving an unimpressed stare as an answer. “It’s better like this. It’s dark and you drank something. But still text me when you get home, okay?” Shimizu embraced you in a long hug, swaying you around very slightly while you nuzzled your face into her shoulder.

“Makki?” 

“Yeah?” 

The fresh air had done wonders to sober you up and now you had been walking alongside Makki for a while, engaging in a bit of small talk but it had been quiet for the last few minutes. “What do you do for a living? I just realized you never said anything.” He chuckled at your question. “I thought something serious was coming. And I work as a real estate agent. I like working with people and so on, but I don’t think it’s something longterm. I’m honestly considering just dropping everything and getting professionally trained in pastry making. Maybe even going to culinary school, who knows.” 

The smile he shot you was different than the others you had seen from him. It was rawer, more gentle than his usual teasing ones. “Really? I can actually see it, I mean the small raspberry cakes were amazing! I don’t think I’ve ever tasted anything that delicious before!”

His smile widened at that and he straightened up a little bit more. “That was nothing! You should taste my creampuffs. They are my favorite, that’s why I make them so often, they’re kind of my specialty,” he admitted and scratched the back of his head. “I’ll make them for you next time. You should come over soon anyways. Shimizu likes you. Usually, she doesn’t talk that much when we have people over.” You looked at him surprised. Shimizu talked even less usually? Does that mean you weren’t wrong when you thought you had a special connection? 

A blush crept across your face at the thought but you quickly tried to dismiss it again. “You know, you’re pretty cute.” 

Remember when you tried not to blush that hard. It’s not working. Not at all. 

“You can’t say something like that!” Wildly flailing your hands around did nothing to help your flustered state and that strawberry idiot had the audacity to laugh at you! 

Apparently, the alcohol hadn’t cleared up as much as you had thought, or else your heart wouldn’t hammer so loudly against your chest. 

Luckily your building was coming into view, hopefully freeing you from your embarrassment. “But I’m serious, we should do something together again. Soon. If you want, Mattsun is still here tomorrow, we could hang out again. Or well, anytime you want to hang out, I’m sure you just have to give us a call and in like 95% of all cases we’re down.” He scratched the back of his head again. “Oh.”

That kind of surprised you. It was already a wonder that Shimizu, the hot senior girl, talked to you for more than a second. But now her equally hot boyfriend wanted you to join them more often. You weren’t anything special, why would they want to hang out with you? They for sure had other friends. 

“I am free tomorrow if it really isn’t a bother.” You had to take your chances right? Even if hanging out with the attractive couple would probably make your heart go into overdrive the entire time. 

“Of course it’s not a bother!” His step was a lot more feathery, that was until you came to a stop in front of your building, him stopping a couple feet in front of you, turning around with a questioning expression on his face. 

“That’s my building,” you explained, vaguely gesturing towards the entrance. “Okay, alright. Do you need me to walk you up to your room? It really would not be a bother!” 

“It’s okay, there’s security. But thank you for walking me. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” Saying goodbye felt kind of weird.

“Yeah, sure, I think Shimizu will text you the details, if not, I will!” 

After a goodbye hug which lasted way too long to be considered normal, you parted again, with him watching every step you took towards the entrance hall. 

“Y/N! Over here!” Shimizu was waving her arm around for you to spot her easily. As if it wasn’t easy enough already with Hanamaki and Matsukawa towering over her and literally everybody else. “I’m so happy you could make it!” Shimizu clasped your hands in hers, pressing them unnecessarily close to her chest, in your opinion. Had nobody here respect for your poor heart? 

The group had planned to do some shopping before Matsukawa had to grab his train back to Miyagi. It was quite fitting anyways, you needed some new clothes. 

Matsukawa left after a few hours, hugging every one of you for goodbye. You had offered going home too, not wanting intrude on their couple time, but both of them were adamant about taking you with them. So here you were, looking at some clothes while Shimizu was in the aisle behind you and Hanamaki was roaming through the dresses next to you, after you had mentioned you wanted some. “What do you think about this?” Shimizu reappeared in your aisle, holding up a dress for you to look at. “Well, it’s pretty, but I don’t know if it’ll suit me..” Cue to the dress being thrust into your hands. “You never know until you try!” You kept on browsing for a while until you and Shimizu disappeared in two changing cabins with Hanamaki waiting in front of them in the designated seating area. 

“It’s pretty, but a bit short I guess. I mean, if you bend down you would flash literally everyone.” “If it were tighter around the waist it would be a better fit.” “That’s good, but not elevated. A nice dress for your free time, you know?” Hanamaki was a surprisingly good shopping companion, giving insightful comments to everything you and Shimizu tried on. 

“Oh, this one looks so good!” Shimizu was already finished, now sitting outside with her boyfriend, looking at you with wide eyes as you came out with your personal favorite. Hanamaki’s eyes shot to Shimizu for a second, before landing on you again. “You look hot!” Shimizu nodded in agreement. “You have to take that!” You blushed at their comments, fingers toying with the hem of your dress. “Are you sure? Isn’t it too much?” To be fair, you were fishing for compliments a little bit. It looked really good, but it was also kind of expensive. Not that expensive where you have to gasp when seeing the price but it wasn’t classified cheap either. “Yeah, take it. Hiro is right, you look stunning.” The way Shimizu talks is as if she’s always stating facts does something to you. Especially when she was praising you like that. 

After those two days you spent with them, your hangouts became much more frequent. If your schedules aligned you would eat lunch with Shimizu in the cafeteria, Hanamaki would pick you up in his car when the weather was bad, driving you to your dorm or occasionally to their apartment. You had stopped feeling weird about hanging out with them on your own. They were a great couple to be around, not overly touchy, and just respectful of you being there. 

The worst part was by far the fact that your initial attraction to them had blossomed into a full-grown crush. It didn’t help at all that Makki was a touchy person, often throwing arms around your shoulder or your waist, sometimes cuddling up to you on the couch on movie night every Thursday. But you didn’t want to let that have any impact on your friendship. Not only were they really great friends, but it was also pretty helpful as a freshman in a new city to have older friends from college and work life, who could help you with some things where you would usually have called your parents in frustration. So you just kept it to yourself, blushing every time when Shimizu nuzzles her face into the crook of your neck or holds your hand to not lose you in a crowd. 

You still wouldn’t have it any other way. Being with them like this was enough for you, especially since they liked babying you as the youngest. To be honest, you thrived in the attention you were receiving in those moments. 

One time you were cooking together and you had cut your finger, it wasn’t anything deep, really, but you bled a little. And both of them immediately huddled around you, cleaning your finger and putting a plaster on the cut, all while Makki was holding you and Shimizu was cradling your hands, even pressing a small kiss on the cut. 

But at the end of the day, you were still only friends while they were a couple. Even if you wished it was different. 

“Here, little one. Here, babe.” The kiss Makki pressed to the crown of your head startled you. Usually, it was Shimizu who showed her affection like this, and feeling his lips on your head made a heat blossom in your chest, all the way up to your face. He did the same to Shimizu, setting two small plates with sweets in front of you, together with a new jug of lemon water. 

You shot him a thankful smile, even though the redness on your cheeks was probably still prominent. 

It was leading up to finals week and you and Shimizu were studying alongside at their kitchen table, trying to push every last drop of information into your overflowing brains. 

Makki was also pretty busy since he decided to really quit his job and start an apprenticeship at a bakery in the midst of Tokyo. 

“You should take a break, babe.” 

“Yeah, Mizu, you’ve been studying for hours, come join us.” 

Makki and you were trying to coax Shimizu into joining you on the couch to relax a bit before going back into studying. You had finished the course you wanted to revise today and called it a day since it was already late, but Shimizu was still going strong, not even pausing once for anything other than going to the bathroom. 

Makki threw you a look when Shimizu didn’t respond and in a second he hurled her up into his arms, forcefully carrying her over to the couch. You giggled a bit at the picture, skipping behind them to sit on the other side of Shimizu, throwing your arms around her. “What are you doing? I need to study!” She was squirming in your holds but it only made you hug her harder. “No, you need a break. Let’s order pizza and cuddle.” 

Makki chuckled at your words. “That’s a perfect idea. You can still study afterward, okay babe?” Shimizu slowly gave up in your holds and an idea came to your mind. 

Before your courage left you again you moved a bit and pressed a small peck to her jaw, something she had done to you countless times. 

A gasp escaped her and she looked at you with wide eyes, making you blush instantly. “I’m sorry, I thought it was oka-“

And suddenly her lips were on yours. The sensation left before you could even blink. Your eyes were fixed on the dark-haired girl in front of you, who nervously bit on her lip, then they shot to Makki. And he smiled. Why was he smiling? His girlfriend just kissed someone else in front of him? 

Nobody said anything for a while and you felt like you were going into overdrive. You didn’t feel like you could move and the beating of your heart was prominent in your ears. What was that supposed to mean? Was it a friendly kiss? Why were they looking at you like that? 

“I- I mean we, we kind of like you, you know.” It was Shimizu who finally broke the silence, nervousness evident in her tone. What.

They liked you? You? Out of all people? And where were they going with this? 

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I thought you were interested, too. I didn’t want to ruin anything!” Tears were appearing in her eyes and your heart broke a little at the thought that you were the reason for that. 

“I- know- I mean I like you. Both of you. But- why?” You finally managed to push some words out of your mouth, still not believing what was happening. “Why we like you? Oh, Y/N, you’re like so nice, and cute, and you’re always there and brightening up our lives! In the beginning, we thought it was just an attraction, but over the past year it became so much more than that.”

One of Makki’s arms left its place around Shimizu and he gently cradled your face in his hands. “We would like to try being in a relationship. With you. Like all three of us, together.” 

This was a dream. It has to be. There was no way they would sacrifice their normal relationship to do something like this with you. 

“Can I kiss you again?” After you didn’t answer for a while, Shimizu shyly spoke up again. “Please.” If it was a dream you could at least live it to its fullest. 

This time you kissed her back, pushing yourself against her until you all fell against Makki, who leaned back and let you make out on top of him. 

Softly, Shimizu’s tongue started prodding at your lips and you opened your mouth a bit too willingly, ready to take whatever she was willing to give to you. 

“Can- eh- me too?” Makki’s eyes were big and hopeful when you parted and surprised you turned your head towards him. They said they both liked you. But it was still unbelievable. 

You leaned down, either way, to connect your still wet lips to his’. 

You don’t think you’ve ever been that content as you were now.

“So, you want to try? The relationship? With us?” It had taken a while until you were finally able to disconnect your lips from theirs, as soon as you finished kissing one, the desire to feel the other one would arise. “Are you sure?” You felt dumb as soon as you asked the question and Shimizu’s small giggle only confirmed your fears. 

“Of course, we’re sure. We’ve talked about it for months since we weren’t sure how to introduce you to the topic without it being like weird or overwhelming.” Makki pressed another kiss to your lips, chuckling at the way your face lit up afterwards. “Is that a yes to the relationship?” 

“Yeah, of course! I mean.. I really like you.” They cooed at your words and immediately you were getting covered in kisses again. 

“Do you want to stay the night?” The question made you tense up. Even though you had moved to the bedroom to continue your kisses in a more comfortable way than with one of you nearly falling off the couch, you still didn’t think you were ready for something sexual. You couldn’t believe everything was real yet anyways. “Not in that way. Like, just sleep,” Hanamaki was quick to correct himself. 

 Despite being friends with them for almost a year you had never stayed the night alone. Once, three other people from their high school days, Daichi, Nishinoya, and Mattsun, stayed over after all of you went partying, but every other time Makki or both of them had walked you home since your apartment was only a 20 minute walk away. 

“I- yeah sure.” Sleeping and cuddling were fine. And you wanted to live out this dream for as long as possible. “I’ll give you a shirt of mine and some shorts from Mizu! Do you want long or short stuff?” Excitedly Hanamaki jumped off the bed, leaving you cuddled up in Shimizu’s arms. “Short, please.” Shimizu and you also stood up, once Makki had everything laid out, leading to a slightly awkward moment, whether you would change here or separately. “I’ll head to the bathroom.” You didn’t quite feel comfortable shedding everything right now so you used the opportunity where none of them offered something else. 

When you came back, both of them were already in their sleeping attire, too. A sting of jealousy hit you right in the heart, at the thought that they had already seen each other naked and once again your brain reminded you of the fact that they were already in a relationship for more than three years, making you just the new awkward add on. But they immediately took you back into their arms and it was like all your worries disappeared. 

“I can’t stop kissing you.” To emphasize his words Makki pressed little pecks all over your face, making you giggle. “I can’t believe you’re ours now.” Shimizu looked at you with big loving eyes, squeezing your hands for a second. 

“Well, let’s continue our earlier plans. Pizza and cuddles, right?” 

In the weeks to come, you didn’t have as much time for them as you would have liked. Hopefully, after your last exam that would start to change, especially since you were getting kind of needy. There were only that so many times how often you could wake up with Hiro’s boner pressing against your ass without him doing anything, other than maybe grinding up into you when you started a small make-out session. You really wished that would change once you all had more time on your hands. 

“Congratulations on finishing all your exams!” Shimizu engulfed you in a hug before you even had time to shout your hello’s. “Thank you, Mizu.” You giggled excitedly, the euphoria of finally completing all your exams overwhelming your emotions. “What do you say we go on a date? We never went on an official one, so we can do that once Hiro’s off work.” You nodded excitedly at her offer, pressing your lips to hers. You were becoming addicted to their kisses, never being able to go long without them when they were in close proximity of yours. 

It didn’t take long until her fingers were tangled in your hair and you were pushed back on the couch, her other hand roaming over your body, but being careful not to touch any of your intimate areas. 

Only when you obviously ground up into her hands she tentatively took one of your boobs into her hand, squeezing it experimentally. It wasn’t much but for your touch starved body, it was enough to enlist a small moan. 

“We should wait for Hiro, baby.” She was a bit breathless when she sat up and withdrew her hand from your boobs. “Don’t pout. Go shower and get ready for our date, I’m going to make reservations and inform Hiro.” She fully crawled off you, leaving an empty feeling behind but you still complied. “Where will we go?” Your voice was a bit hoarse from not talking for the last 20 minutes and you coughed a little to get it back. 

“Something fancy. Do you have fitting clothes here?” Smiling she leaned down again to kiss you another time, much shorter than before and that made you realize that maybe, she was equally addicted to you. 

“I have some dresses but I don’t know if it’s really fancy. Maybe I’ll have to go home for a bit,” you admitted. “That’s okay baby if you do your makeup here, how much time do you think it’ll take?” If you already knew what you were going to wear it shouldn’t take long. But maybe you had to iron it for it to really look good. But probably a max of 20 minutes. “I don’t know, 20 minutes maybe if you help me pick something out.” Shimizu chuckled and the sound alone was enough for a smile to emerge on your face. “We will join.” 

After her promise she sent you to the bathroom with a slight tap to your butt, sending tingles up your spine with the short contact. 

You really hoped that she got the hint that you wanted to do something more. You would probably be to shy to ask them directly. And you even shaved every hair on your body that wasn't necessary in your opinion. You wanted to be at your best for them, cleaning especially thorough down there.

Never in a million years would you look good next to the goddess named Kiyoko Shimizu. She had an enticing lipstick on and you never wanted anything more than to kiss it right off her. Her body was adorned by a black midi dress with a slit at the side and a dangerously low cleavage. 

“Shimizu you look so good!” You couldn’t stop gaping at your girlfriend, hands running over her sides, smelling her sweet perfume. “Thank you, baby!” She pressed a soft kiss to your lips, careful to not destroy your makeup. 

“Shit, I’m so lucky.” Hiro was staring in awe when leaving the bathroom, his eyes trained on Shimizu, whereas your eyes couldn’t believe what they saw. In what world did creampuff loving Hanamaki Takahiro have a body like that?

He was fresh out of the shower, only clad in tight black boxer briefs, ruffling through his hair with a towel. It was like a painting. And when he came over to give Shimizu and you a kiss on the lips you once again realized how gorgeous those two people were. And then there was you. 

“Do you have any idea what you’re wearing yet? Thanks, babe.” He took the grey button-up and the black pants with a slightly checkered pattern Shimizu ironed earlier out of her hands with a huge smile. 

“Noo,” you wailed and dramatically fell back onto the bed, pleased with yourself once you heard them laugh. “I’m sure we’ll find something amazing. You look hot either way. You already do, now. I could eat you!” Shimizu jokingly pulled you closer to the edge where she stood by your legs, hovering over you only to press a feather-light peck onto your lips. 

Hiro chuckled at the way you shuddered and shot you a knowing wink once your eyes met, making you blush a deep rose. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been here.” Hiro and Shimizu looked around interested, even though your small room was not that great at all. “It’s nothing special.” You got a bit shy at the way they were inspecting everything in great detail, leaning down to analyze every picture. 

“What do you think of this?” You tried taking their attention off your family picture you had on your desk, holding up a dark green trouser with a black blouse. “It’s cute, definitely a contender. I would have to see it on you, though.” You nodded in agreement, laying the outfit down carefully on your bed, which has been nearly unused for the last month. “What about this?” Your next choice got a unified shaking of heads and after the third failed attempt you didn’t know if there was anything left in your small closet that was to some extent suitable for today. 

That was until you pulled the last dress out. Personally, you probably wouldn’t have gone for it out of fear to be overdressed, but Shimizu and Hiro were delighted. “That’s it. You have to wear that! We’re going to be the hottest group in Tokyo!” Hiro was especially enthusiastic but he got quiet real quick when you shyly pulled your sweatshirt over your head to change into the dress. It wasn’t as if you had other choices. You didn’t want to change in the bathroom down the hall and your room didn’t really have any other options. 

 “Fuck, baby, give a man a warning next time, will you?” Both of them moved closer to you, hands starting to roam your body, pressing the occasional kiss to your shoulders. “You’re so beautiful, baby.” Shimizu’s fingers played with the hem of your sweatpants, helping you out of them. “We have to go to the reservation, don’t we?” Hiro’s voice sounded pained and he pulled back his hands from your body. Shimizu followed his example, giving you room to continue changing. Now overly aware of their eyes on your body you slipped into the dress, turning around in a silent request for someone to pull your zipper up. 

“God, you’re hot.” To hear something like that from Shimizu, the equation of a goddess was unreal and in an instant you blushed again, hand moving up to fix your hair, which didn’t need any fixing at all. 

“But there are some panty lines visible.” Hiro’s comment made all eyes fixate on your private region and the lines on the side of your hips. “Do you have any other underwear here?” You shook your head at Shimizu’s question. “I already chose the one with like the least seams. “I don’t think we have time to go back to the apartment or else I could’ve lent you some.” Shimizu seemed deep in thought and even though the thought of wearing Shimizu’s underwear made you feel some kind of way, you only had one possible option in mind. “I could take them off.”

“Do you need anything else? A coffee maybe? Or another drink?” The waiter in the restaurant was reappearing, after taking your empty dessert platters back. “No, thank you. Just the check please.” Hiro’s hand felt hot on your thigh. It hasn’t moved since the main course was finished, occasionally giving it a squeeze. 

When the check arrived and you wanted to fish your wallet out of your bag the hand squeezed you again, harder than before. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got it. This is a celebration for you, after all!” You didn’t order anything of the most expensive stuff, but you still felt bad at him spending money on you. “You don’t have to, you know? I can pay for myself!” He silenced you with a smile and just gave the waiter his card, not letting you see the amount under the line. 

“Thank you, really. You didn’t have to pay for me.” You took both of their hands in yours, squeezing them to really show your thankfulness. “Baby, we wanted to. On top of that, splitting the check would’ve taken too long. I’m quite impatient, to be honest.” Shimizu smiled at you knowingly, only making you blink dumbly. “Impatient?” 

They both laughed at that, Hiro opening the car door for you and Shimizu as you reached the vehicle. “Knowing that you don’t have any underwear on is killing me on the inside.” He murmured into your ear and immediately you felt heat engulfing your entire body. Flushed with embarrassment and excitement you took your seat on the backseat. 

Only then you realized that both of them seemed pretty tense, hurrying already in the restaurant to go home as soon as possible. You had thought that maybe they had another thing planned and apparently you weren’t that far off with your assumption. 

Nervousness was laced in every step you took up to their apartment. “Hey.” You jumped a bit when Shimizu laid a hand on the middle of your back in front of their front door and turned around to face their concerned expressions. “We don’t have to do anything, you know that, right? We can stop at kissing, we can go all the way or something in between.” You nodded. “I want to.” Your voice was quiet but certain. And as soon as you said that she kissed you in a way she hadn’t kissed you before. The prior make out session probably came the closest but with this kiss, you could feel every intention was to get you naked and writhing underneath her. 

Hiro gently pushed you through the now opened door, feeling you up at the same time. 

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous. And so filthy. Going out without your underwear. How did it feel knowing you were sitting in that room full of people?” His hand sneaked over your backside, squeezing and pinching every bit of flesh available. 

“Did you ever think what you were doing to us? If it was me without any panties I would’ve for sure creamed on the chair with how wet I got at the thought of you.” You whimpered at their dirty talk, unable to form an answer, only trying to make them feel what you felt, hands carefully groping at Shimizu’s breasts, hips rutting into Hiro’s crotch. 

“Come on, baby, go to the bedroom. Today’s about you.” They followed you closely, closing the door behind themselves. 

Immediately the feeling in the room was different. You turned around to face them and came to face with Hiro unbuttoning his shirt and helping Shimizu out of her dress right afterwards. It made the fire of anticipation burn even hotter in your chest. Their hands soon were back on your body again, this time even slightly dipping under your skirt, caressing your bare thighs. “Turn around.” You nearly missed the murmur of Shimizu against your collarbone if it weren’t for her turning you around herself. She pulled the zipper down excruciatingly slow and you felt goosebumps appear all over your body at the way the dress slowly slipped from your figure, different pairs of lips covering every newly exposed skin in light kisses. 

They led you towards the bed, making you lay on your back. It felt weird, having your lower half uncovered but still having a bra on. Apparently, Hiro thought the same thing, releasing you from the garment. “You’re dripping,” Shimizu noted, dipping a finger between your lips and coating it in your essence. “Give me a taste.” You didn’t know you could get even hornier just by watching Hiro lick your arousal from your girlfriend's finger. “Please.” 

Both of them looked at you with a smile on their faces and Shimizu brought her finger back down, softly rubbing at your clit, enjoying the way your body twitched at the small shots of pleasure. “Adorable,” Hiro commented, perching himself next to you on the bed to dedicate himself to your boobs, nipping and licking away at your nipples. 

Your hands twitched towards Hiro, wanting to touch him, too, to do something other than just laying there, but they were immediately swatted away. “Next time, baby.”

You wanted to protest, but Shimizu’s finger slipped into your cunt, wiggling around and making you gasp in surprise. “Hiro, babe, you should continue, you have bigger fingers and we really want to spoil our princess, don’t we?” He pressed one last kiss to your breast, leaving your abused nipples to let his hand wander towards your pussy, not giving you any time to adjust but just pushing his pointer finger inside and relishing in the way you moaned. “Shimizu. Please. I want to do something!” Your breathing became more uneven by the second but you still weren’t content with just laying there doing nothing. “If you’re a good baby and come soon you can eat me out while Hiro fucks you,” she offered you, making your hips twitch towards Hiro’s hands, to speed up the process. Him fucking you with his finger felt good, but you would need more than one to come. “More fingers, please!” He complied with a chuckle and added a second one. 

“Greedy little baby.”

He fastened his pace too, varying between just thrusting his fingers and scissoring and curling them, making all kinds of noises escape your mouth. Shimizu straddled you backwards, facing Hiro and hovering her cunt in your field of vision but just out of reach. You could just grab her and pull her back towards her face but as soon as your hands even twitched by your side Hiro let out a warning growl. “Don’t even think about it or I will tie you up while I fuck her on top of you for hours.”

You whimpered at that, crying out in surprise when suddenly Shimizu began rubbing your clit again. The combined stimulation was already making the knot in your stomach form. You would’ve never thought that just looking at Shimizu’s pussy would do that much to you. You could see her folds glistening and it looked downright delicious. If you breathed in deeply you could even smell her. 

She intensified her rubbing on your clit, leaning down more to take her tongue into the action, lapping at your bundle of nerves without hindering Hiro in his moves. Your moans got louder and you became more and more breathless by gasping for air the whole time. And when Hiro added a third finger, thrusting into you even harder you were done for. 

Spasming under Shimizu’s weight they didn’t halter their movements, holding your legs open to continue. 

Hiro hadn’t even pulled out his fingers completely when Shimizu was already moving back, thrusting her pussy into your face, making you lap up her juices like a starved man. You couldn’t hold back your moans at the way she tasted, relishing in the deliciousness. 

“Here babe.” Hiro thrust his fingers into Shimizu’s mouth, making her gag and as a result her pussy clenched around nothing. How bad you wanted to just finger her, maybe fuck her with a dildo, make er feel good. But you were scared they were going to stop completely when you disobeyed.

All your thoughts vanished when Hiro suddenly pushed his whole length inside you, making you moan loudly against Shimizu’s cunt. “Fuck, you’re doing so good, baby, please keep going, I’m going to cum soon.” She started rutting against your face, trying to rub her clit against your chin, while your whole body shook with every thrust Hiro delivered. 

“Fuck, baby, you’re tight. You’re practically milking me!”

The overstimulation was going to your head, you were already feeling another orgasm approaching. The attempt to rut your hips against Hiro’s was quickly diminished by his large hands holding you down onto the mattress. 

“You look hot, babe.” You could practically hear his grin out of his voice, feeling Shimizu chuckle. Then there were two new sensations. Two fingers slipped between your chin and Shimizu’s clit, rubbing figure eights, as well as on your clit. The pleasure was building up more and more, you couldn’t even try to decipher whose hand was whose, you just wanted to chase your high and apparently they shared your sentiments, since this time nobody intervened when you met every thrust of Hiro with your hips. 

You were the first to come with a loud cry against Shimizu’s cunt, still trying to stick out your tongue to maybe provide her with more pleasure. Shimizu followed with a guttural moan, a new gush of wetness releasing all over your face, getting greedily lapped up by you.

She climbed off of you not long after, chuckling at your whine when Hiro pulled out. “On the floor, on your knees.” Both of you complied instantly, waiting next to each other as he started jacking himself over your faces. 

It didn’t take long until spurts of hot semen shot across your faces, partly landing in you awaiting mouths. “Fuck you look good like that. My girls. I’m so lucky, shit.” He lovingly caressed your chins with his thumbs, pushing some of the excess cum into your mouths. 

You already wanted to swallow, when Shimizu turned your head towards her, connecting your lips together and mixing your spit and cum, probably tasting herself in the process.

When you parted again Hiro looked incredibly proud, helping you back to your feet. “You both did so well. Lay down, I’ll get a towel.”

You had often cuddled with Shimizu, but feeling her naked skin against yours was a whole other feeling. But you weren’t complaining. And when Hiro joined you, too, after having cleaned up your faces and lower parts, it was as if everything was perfect.

You didn’t know why it hurt so much, seeing them walk up the stairs arm in arm. Of course, they were having dates on their own. You sometimes hung out with one of them at a time, too. But something about them being all dressed up and in love without you made pain shoot through your chest. 

You had a really bad day, the weather was shit and you had woken up late, nearly missing one of your most important lectures, only forgetting your umbrella and coming to university wet from the rain, in sweatpants without having brushed your hair and without any makeup on. 

 And now seeing your boyfriend and girlfriend happily coming back from a date after not answering your calls if one of them could pick you up because of the weather, it hurt. 

You couldn’t help the tears that shot into your eyes and in an instant you tried to escape the oncoming situation, dashing towards the elevator, pressing the button to hopefully disappear before they saw you. “Y/N?” Shit. That worked out perfectly. You rushed into the elevator, not being able to repress your sob, immediately pushing onto the buttons that closed the door and the ground floor. “Y/N!” 

Your eyes met for a second and you could see them taking hurried steps towards you when the doors closed. As soon as you were out of their sights the tears didn’t stop falling, the painful twinge in your chest getting stronger by the second. Gasping for air you tried to not cry before being back in your room, which you wouldn’t have for long, anyways. You had been in a relationship for nearly a year and it was in the planning that you would move in with them soon, but you weren’t so sure if you wanted that anymore. You always felt like the add on, especially with them living together and you spend at least two nights a week at your own place before morning classes, since your way to university was shorter that way. 

What you didn’t expect as soon as the doors opened again at the ground floor was Hiro, nearly taking four steps at once, flying down the stairs to pull you into his arms as soon as you even stepped out of the elevator. 

“Please don’t leave.” His voice was strained as he mumbled the words into your ear and at that moment every resistance you had broken down, tears falling freely, soaking his black button-up as you shook in his arms. 

You couldn’t even try to form any words to explain yourself, to bring yourself to turn away, everything that escaped you were loud sobs as he slowly maneuvered you back into the elevator and pressed the floor of their apartment. He was stroking your back constantly, pressing kisses into your head in-between mumbled shhh’s. 

When you were back in front of the apartment the door was already open, Shimizu waiting with a worried expression, rushing towards you as soon as she laid her eyes on you, making you cry even harder.

They settled you onto the couch, caged in their arms without any of you saying a word. 

“Baby..” You were shocked to see tears streaming down Shimizu’s face when you looked up to meet her eyes. How could this affect her?

“I’m sorry,” you finally brought out. “I don’t want you to feel sad!”

“Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for. What happened? Did we do something wrong? We didn’t have any connection in the restaurant and when we tried to call you back you didn’t answer.” They had called you? Did your phone die? It must have. You didn’t hear any ringing. “I’m sorry,” you repeated. 

The way they were clinging onto you made you feel incredibly loved. You already didn’t understand how you could ever think they didn’t love you. They had shown you multiple times how much they cherished you but your doubts always got the better of you as soon as you were alone. 

“I’m sorry! I- I had a bad day and then you didn’t pick up and I thought you were tired of me.” Finally, you could give them an explanation. And show them that you really had to apologize for jumping into conclusions and making them worry. You didn’t deserve them.

“Of course we love you, Y/N. We love you so much, I can’t even comprehend sometimes how I can love somebody as much as I love you and Shimizu.” Even Hiro was crying, his face still buried in your hair. 

“But you’re so perfect! And I’m me. I always doubt myself and need constant verification for everything.” 

“That’s the point, though. You’re you. And we love showering you in affection. At least for me, it makes me feel like a goddess, being able to put a smile on your face just by kissing you and giving you handmade lunch for uni.” 

“But you are a goddess,” you pouted, making her laugh slightly. 

“Let us show you again.” Hiro lifted his face, hands cupping your face to wipe your tears away, softly kissing you. “Please let us show you.” 

“Look at yourself, Y/N. You’re beautiful. You’re everything we could ever want in a girlfriend.” They had stripped you bare and sat you on the bed, facing the big mirror on the closet doors. Shimizu was kneeling on the floor between your spread legs, softly kissing the inside of your thighs, smiling at you through the mirror. “Caring for you, making you come, seeing how you’re desperate to please us, and follow our command, it makes us happy. There’s nothing I would want to do more.” To confirm his words Hiro took your hand to rub it over his hard length without allowing you to grab it. “And seeing you cry was horrifying, to be honest.” Immediately you felt bad at Shimizu’s words. Your puffy red eyes were still a constant reminder of that, practically mocking you in the mirror. “So let’s make you cry because of a different reason.” You couldn’t even try to think about what she meant when she dove right in, lapping at your pussy with long strokes of her tongue, nibbling on your lips every now and then. 

You moaned in pleasure, closing your eyes and leaning back against Hiro to really relish in the feelings. “Keep your eyes open, baby. Look at us pleasuring you. Look at us enjoying it.” 

You opened your eyes again and they immediately fell on Shimizu’s face. She was looking up at you from your cunt and you could see so much adoration in her eyes you already felt tears of shame prickling in yours at the memory that you had ever doubted them. 

“Babe.” Shimizu got alerted through Hiro’s call and you also looked in the mirror to see what he was doing behind you, moaning when you caught sight of the double-ended dildo you had often used with your girlfriend, sometimes with Hiro joining in, sometimes with him only watching, sometimes with him only being able to enjoy the aftermaths when he was coming home to you two being completely wrecked, the dildo lying forgotten on the floor. 

“You want us both today?” Shimizu licking her lips after departing from your pussy made you moan again and you nodded wildly only for her to dive right back in, this time lowering herself quite a bit. Hiro adjusted your position, spreading your legs further and making you slide farther towards the edge of the bed so Shimizu could continue prodding at your asshole with her tongue. “I can’t wait, please, finger and lube.” Hiro laughed. “Help her, then.” 

Shimizu detached herself again, moving to the side a bit so you could have the full vision of yourself in the mirror, your own fingers toying with the tight muscle, slightly pushing in even without lube. “Don’t be greedy, baby.” Hiro took it upon himself to take the clear gel and let it drizzle over your fingers, generously coating them. Taking the finger was much easier now and in a matter of minutes, you had two of them in, your arousal only heightening when having eye contact with your partners through the mirror. 

It was unusual for them to be this quiet, normally endless praises would be falling out of their mouths. “I’m ready! Please!” You hadn’t prepared yourself as thorough as usual and by a cock of his eyebrows you realized that Hiro knew that, but he didn’t say anything when he heaved you onto his arms, hovering you over his erect dick. 

“Fuck, I love your ass.” He was nearly halfway in and you felt more stretched than you ever had all the other times you had taken him like this. Your thighs twitched and you slipped even further down, when Shimizu pushed one of her slender fingers into your dripping cunt, wiggling it around slightly. “Don’t be impatient, Mizu. We have time. Look at our princess. She’s dripping.” You moaned at his praise and thanked every god that Shimizu didn’t interpret Hiro’s words as a command to pull her finger back out. “She’s gorgeous. Looking so pretty with her ass filled.” She pressed more kisses on your thighs, only stopping when red bites and bruises were littered across them. 

Hiro slowly pushed the last inches in, letting out a guttural moan when he was finally fully buried within you. Shimizu took that as her cue to start moving her finger, adding a second and third one after a couple of seconds before finally taking the dildo into her hand, holding it up to your mouth. “Don’t just lick. Take it in.” You complied, taking as much of the double-sided dildo into your mouth as possible. “Hold.” She let go from the other side, moving out of the way for you to have a full view of yourself in the mirror again. 

“Look at you. Maybe I should just fuck myself on your mouth, leaving your little cunt empty. Would you like that?” You tried shaking your head without letting the dildo falling out of your mouth. Your pussy was aching to be filled. Tears were already forming in your eyes from the constant strain on your throat, but the proud smile on Hiro’s face only showed you that this was exactly what they wanted to do. Make you cry out of pleasure. 

With one hard tug, Shimizu pulled the dildo out of your mouth, not caring about the trail of spit that fell down your face and chest. The power with which she shoved it into your cunt made the first tears escape your eyes as you yelped in pleasure. “Fuck, yes, please, Mizu, more!” She looked happy with her accomplishment and then she sank down onto your cock, taking the other side of the dildo deep into her mouth until her nose touched your clit, nuzzling it a bit just to toy with you, shaking the dildo doing so and making you shake out of pleasure at the same time. 

She didn’t repeat that maneuver often, the small drops on the floor already evidence enough that she was equally as impatient as you were. 

“Look at yourself. Look how two people are fucking you at the same time.” It was hard to see anything clearly as soon as Shimizu sank down onto the other side of the dildo and both of them began to move, Hiro gripping the middle of the dildo to make it thrust in and out of both of you in an equal pace. “Still think you’re not loved?” 

“No, no! I am loved, I love you, both of you, so much. I’m so sorry I thought otherwise. I love you, I love you!” You couldn’t chant anything else, the pleasure being overwhelming, tears streaming down your face even though you were not sure if that was out of happiness or pleasure. “I- I love you too, baby.” Shimizu’s movements got even faster and she kissed you with all of her heart, shoving every ounce of love in there. 

“Fuck, baby, I’m going to come. Your sweet ass is making me come. I love you so much, baby, shit.” Hiro’s thrusts became harsher, making you snap up into Shimizu, all three of you groaning and moaning while desperately trying to hold on to each other. 

As announced, Hiro came first, filling your ass with his cum, stilling afterwards but still slightly thrusting the dildo between you and Shimizu. 

You didn’t know who of you came first, just that both your movements suddenly stilled, clasped in absolute pleasure, connected at your most intimate parts. 

“Look at you. Does that look like someone who isn’t loved?” You tiredly raised your head, drinking in the picture before you on the foggy mirror. 

It didn’t. Hickey’s were littered across your thighs, Hiro’s come was slightly dribbling out of your asshole and onto his only half-hard dick, Shimizu was covering your top half with her’s, the dildo lying on the floor forgotten, both of your holes still twitching, wetness coating your cunts and thighs. It didn’t look like anyone of you was not loved at all. 

“Thank you.” Your throat was dry from moaning too much and you swallowed a couple of times before continuing. “I’m sorry again for doubting you. I know you love me a lot. I always know.” You kissed both of them and shot them a smile, hoping that they were going to forgive you. 

“Stop apologizing. Everybody has those days from time to time. The most important thing is that you know now again.” Shimizu was nearly sleeping but you couldn’t blame her, the post crying and post-sex exhaustion catching up to you. 

Not much later you were all cuddled up on fresh sheets after taking a short bath to clean yourself from all the sweat, cum, and lube. 

“I love you, Hiro. I love you, Shimizu,” you mumbled contently smiling at their similar answers. Maybe this really was paradise. You may not deserve it, but you certainly weren’t complaining. 

[foxymoxynoona]

Ashtoreth

Ok, I had told Tae_ree on ao3 that I was inspired by her story Cam Girl back in the day to barf out a little cam girl story of my own, which I then immediately abandoned. I looked and I wrote this on July 20, 2020. It's not a full story arc or anything, just a little snippet I abandoned BUT I had forgotten that actually this was a stepping stone to writing Amended and Meadow, as you'll see from some themes I repurposed. I thought I'd share even though this isn't really a complete story because I think it can be interesting to see how inspiration and ideas morph over time into something completely different.

Content warnings for this: nsfw, 18+ , cam girl, voyeurism, masturbation, I don't actually know anything about cam girls and I didn't bother to learn since this was just a little writing exercise, so there ya go...

Tattoo Artist!JK x Camgirl!Reader

He didn’t watch much. Well, he watched plenty of porn, but Jungkook didn’t follow live camgirls because seeing the show live made him feel… awkward. Nervous. It felt so intimate, to have a girl talking live to the camera, to be able to type in the chat and have her notice your comment. It made it feel too much like a living, breathing person --not that he didn’t think women in porn were real! But… it was an image he was watching. Something a woman had cultivated, edited, decided to share. A live camgirl was performing in a different way and…

Well, he just felt guiltier watching camgirls. So he didn’t watch them much. Maybe he’d tune in if there was one on, and then he’d feel too ashamed of his own… earnestness. Live cam girls were a level of intimacy that… that was cruel. That he wanted. Camgirls reminded him too clearly of what he didn’t have in real life, and that made him feel ashamed and pathetic and broken. And so he’d leave almost as soon as he started watching and go find some safe, static porn.

But there was one. Ashtoreth. He couldn’t resist her. He was pathetic, weak for this woman, and wound up making an account --which he never did-- just so he could subscribe and get alerts whenever she scheduled a show. Even just the act of getting an alert made him stiffen, made the blood start to trickle south, because he knew what was coming.

He didn’t know what Ashtoreth’s face looked like. And she often wore colored wigs, so whatever he did see wasn't identifiable She had a pretty average body, neither the fit nor voluptuous extremes that tended to dominate the suggested videos. She had a somewhat soft belly and hips and thighs. She had those stripes on the inside of her thighs, too. And a beautiful tattoo along her hip that he desperately wanted to see in closer detail. Her tits weren’t huge, but soft and squeezable and real. Sometimes she presented herself bare to the camera, other times tidy, and sometimes fully grown out. She said she felt like it was a matter of principle to create videos with natural hair growth, even if she preferred to be better kept because she often got horny and juicy throughout the day and it was easier for her to keep clean. That had fucked Jungkook up for a little while. It didn’t help that she had the prettiest pussy he had ever seen, beautifully shaped and colored, and even just tuning in to see how much he’d be able to see was worth the effort. And he liked the idea that she had principles like that.

In fact, he liked all the things she talked about. She was very personable, in a way that was horribly endearing. She played video games, which had actually been what struck him first; that was how he’d found her, because he’d seen that a camgirl was playing Overwatch with a vibrating egg in, and so he’d tuned in, and she was good, and it meant the next time he’d played, it had made him too hard to concentrate, remembering the way she’d whined and moaned and cum just after she’d won her match. Fucking dream girl.

She took suggestions of things to do from high donors, within reason. He wasn’t the only one that liked when she got sort of passionate and fixated on something interesting she’d learned and wanted to share. She spoke several languages and alternated between them --English and Spanish. She claimed to speak more Korean, but never spoke that on her cams, and Jungkook was far too shy to ask her to. It would do him in, but it was also his fucking dream. Did she really speak Korean? It seemed so unusual for a foreigner.

So he liked the things she spoke about too, he liked when she shared her interests, even though it made him feel guiltier because he knew he was looking for the wrong sorts of connections in porn. A cam girl was just performing. It was possible everything she talked about was fake. She was trying to earn money, after all. It funded the toys she bought, the pretty lingerie. People funded those things, all the men and women who tuned in to watch her tease herself into a whining mess and then cum all over the sheets. She’d taught herself to squirt on camera, even giggling at how unreliable it was. She’d just started doing some anal and admitted it made her nervous. She was just so sweet and sexy at the same time, and it all fed into this horrible, horrible fixation Jungkook had that she was his dream girl, even though he knew it wasn’t true and it wasn’t real.

And then at the end of a live, she’d curled up on her side, flushed, panting a little, hand lazily stroking her hip, and said in Korean, “By the way, I thought I’d mention here because my stats say I have a lot of viewers from Asia, but I’m looking for a tattoo artist and it’s hard to find. So if anyone knows a good one in Korea, let me know!”

Jungkook came on his hand. He hunched forward, spluttering and frozen. It had ruined his good orgasm, the shock --he always had good orgasms when he jerked himself off to watching her. He particularly loved after she came, the way she lay there and giggled sort of breathily and talked about the random things that came to mind. But he had not expected her to speak Korean for the first time. And he had not expected her to ask for tattoo artist recommendations.

He froze. He stared at the screen, grunting a little as his cock twitched. Should he-- no. He couldn’t. He shouldn’t. That would be stupid. And weird. And creepy. But like… what the fuck? Did she actually live in Korea?? Her profile didn’t give a location, but he’d always assumed the States since she spoke English primarily. Did… what… and she needed a tattoo artist…

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck,” he grumbled, grabbing a tissue and wiping his hand off. He couldn’t say anything. He shouldn’t.

But if he didn’t, her other followers would, right? Why was she asking for recs? She was setting herself up for harassment! She couldn’t just ask people who watched her pleasure herself for IRL recommendations!

Frantic with a need to protect her, it was perhaps the only thing that could have led him to message her.

GKtat97: hello. Are you sure it’s a good idea to ask for suggestions here? You could get bad guys answering

Ashtoreth: hello. Are you saying you’re a bad guy? ;)

GKtat97: no! I’m very serious! Be safe! But if you need a place my friend does really good tattoos in seoul. I don’t know where you are looking but I didn’t know you were in Korea

Ashtoreth: oh really? Yes I have moved a few times but I’m currently in Korea. Does your friend work in a parlor somewhere?

GKtat97: yes. Byeolbit Tattoo downtown. Whole studio of great artists

Ashtoreth: awesome, thank you! Have you had work done there?

GKtat97: yeah

Ashtoreth: cool I will definitely take a look. Thank you for the recommendation! What’s your friend’s name?

GKtat97: anyone there is good but my friend is jjk. If you ask for him, he’ll hook you up

Ashtoreth: excellent, I’ll check out his portfolio on their website. Thanks babe :*

Fuck fuck fuck, what was he doing? If anything, he should have suggested her to one of his friends there. Because what if she actually did follow up? What if she made an appointment and came in for a tattoo by him and he got to touch her… fuck, that was entirely unprofessional. He couldn’t do it. Maybe if she knew he was the one watching her, then he wouldn’t feel so morally conflicted, but there was no way he could tell this woman to her face oh yeah, that was me messaging you, I watch you finger yourself to get off. Fuck.

Well. It was highly unlikely she’d be following up, anyway. He comforted himself with that. Probably a dozen guys were messaging her now, trying to get her business so they could tattoo her body.

Ugh. She’d called him babe. He groaned and felt his cock twitch in pleasure just at that reality. She’d called him babe, this faceless woman with the beautiful voice and body. Fuck.

**

As far as he could tell, no one unusual had reached out to the tattoo parlor, though it was hard to really guess what that would mean. He’d idly flipped through the appointment calendar but of course it wasn’t like she’d make an appointment under Ashtoreth. No one had requested him out of the ordinary. And she’d done a couple more lives in the past couple weeks, so he figured that meant she’d decided to go with someone else. Which hurt a bit, sure, but he was trying to be an adult about it. After all, it was for the best.

And then during lunch, Mina popped her head back and asked, “Hey, there’s a woman who came by to see if you can do a consult…”

“Is she in the schedule?” Jungkook asked.

Mina made a face but admitted, “No… but that’s my fault. I’ve been trying to get something scheduled for her for a couple weeks now and forgot to write it down-- I’m sorry!”

Jungkook rolled his eyes and teased, “Mina, it’s the whole point of your job to write it down…”

“I know. I feel so bad. I’ll buy your lunch tomorrow. Can you meet with her now?”

“Fine.”

He shoved one final bite of food into his mouth, then went to wash his hands and rinse his mouth out so he wouldn’t risk sauce or broccoli in his teeth for a consult. He was still hungry but maybe if this went quickly he’d have time to scarf down the rest of it.

He stepped out to the front area where a woman sat in one of the chairs, looking a little uncomfortable actually. He thought it must be her first tattoo and that she was nervous; he got a lot of young women in for their first tattoo, a little butterfly or hummingbird on their ankle or wrist. She stood when he approached and gave him a rather dubious smile.

“Are you Jeon Jungkook?” she asked. In Korean, which was unusual but not unheard of for a foreigner. A young woman had probably come here to teach or something and learned the language, but she had a good grasp of it.

“Yes. Hello.”

“I’m Y/N,” she answered, shaking his hand.

“Nice to meet you. Sorry about the mix up--”

“It’s my fault!” Mina sighed dramatically.

“I’m sorry I’m interrupting your lunch. Should I come back another day?”

“No, it’s fine. What are you looking for?”

“Well, I um, I need one covered up and I was hoping to get something custom to cover it. I saw your portfolio and it looks like you’ve done that kind of thing before.”

He nodded, “Yeah, it’s not a problem. Do you have ideas?”

“Yeah… but I’m also kind of open… I’m not an artist, so…”

“Can you show me what you’re wanting covered up?”

“Uh, yeah…”

“We can step back here,” Jungkook offered when she seemed a little shy. She followed him back to one of the pods and leaned her hip against the table as if for strength, then lifted her shirt to show him a man’s name scrawled across her ribs.

“Is it ok if I examine it?” he asked her. She nodded and he sat on a stool to lean in close and look. It was not well done; if it was the man’s copied signature, he had an ugly hand, but the tattoos itself was also uneven, too shallow in some places, too deep in others. However the scratchy and loopiness of it would be pretty easy to design a pattern over.

“I can see by your face it’s ugly. I know. It was… complicated,” she admitted. “I keep it covered with make up usually but I want it gone.”

“That’s easy to cover,” he assured her. “What do you want over it?”

“Well, I thought-- I have this tattoo,” she told him, lifting the other side of her shirt to expose the flower design crawling out of the waistband of her pants over her hip.

Jungkook froze. She was talking but he didn’t hear anything she said because he knew that tattoo. This was Ashtoreth. He looked up at her face, frozen with shock. This was Ashtoreth’s face. How had he not recognized her voice? But she was speaking Korean and he’d only heard her speak it that once and he hadn’t expected this

“Will that work?” she asked.

“Sorry… could you repeat?” Fuck.

“If it can match this?” she asked him. “Except adding in some violets.”

“Oh. Yes. That’s not a problem,” he assured her. “Um, how big are you thinking?”

She motioned with her hands, then asked, “Am I going to die? I know rib tattoos are supposed to be pretty bad… But I’ve had a baby and I got this thing so I’m not a total baby…”

“You have a kid?” he repeated, then immediately cursed himself. Why did that matter? But it was a real thing about her and it was not what he’d expected.

“Um, yeah. Do you have kids?”

“No,” he said simply. And then because apparently he couldn’t stop himself, he pointed, “I guess he wasn’t a very good father, huh?”

She gave him a small laugh and a crooked grin that made his heart actually flutter and agreed, “No, he wasn’t. But I did get something good out of it, so that’s what I want to cover his name with.”

“Flowers?”

“Violets. My daughter with him is called Violet.”

“Ah. That’s… sweet.” He looked away from her, sliding over to the counter to get his camera. “Can I take a picture? I’ll draw a design and you can leave your email with Mina. Once we get that, we’ll make an appointment.”

“Ok. Yes.” She turned to the side and held her shirt steady for him to take a picture of the names, a couple so he’d be able to recreate it flat.

“Mind if I get one of that too, so I can remember it?”

“Do you want the whole thing?”

“No, just the top is fine, if this has all the style elements you want.” So turned and posed for him to get this second one, and he tried to ignore that he was sweating a little to now have personal photos of Ashtoreth. This wasn’t ok. It wasn’t ok. It was unethical. It was ok for him to tattoo her if she knew he knew, but otherwise it was unethical, right?

But he didn’t tell her. Because he was stupid and struck a little dumb by her. He couldn’t comprehend that he was seeing her in person right now, that he was seeing the tattoo up close that had factored into how many of his solo sessions now? And this other tattoo, that never showed in her videos! He knew something now none of her other viewers did.

She thanked him for his time and he promised to get her a sketch within a week and then she left. The whole exchange had been so… normal, compared to how he might have envisioned it.

She hadn’t been anything like he’d expected, but maybe that wasn’t fair. He tuned into her next live after debating it, but he couldn’t bring himself to miss it. He wanted to see if he could see traces of her bad tattoo, but she did a good job of hiding it.

Anyway, why should he be surprised that she had been polite and sweet and a little shy? Because he didn’t expert a camgirl to be those things in real life? But that came through in her cams and it was one of the things that had even initially drawn him to her channel.

It was different now though. She slid her fingers down her panties and he knew what her face looked like. She pressed her fingers into her wet hole and he knew she’d had a child. He knew her real hair color and her real eye color and the sound of her voice in person. Soon he would spend hours hunched over her body, etching something permanent into her skin that would hopefully please her, that all her viewers would see on her. How would she unveil it? Would she give him credit? She’d already been very excited about the design he’d emailed her.

[startanewdream]

A proper kiss

Prompt: "Oh, for heaven’s sake, girl, it wasn’t that good of a kiss, anyway."

Except Lily Evans can't stop thinking about it.

Read on AO3 or below:

_______________________

Oh, for heaven’s sake, girl, it wasn’t that good of a kiss, anyway.

It wasn’t even a kiss. More of a brush of lips, the tenderest of the touches, really.

It was more like the first kiss Lily had ever had, the one she had not counted because it was nothing like she had read about - no magic, no shivers, no tongues or hands embracing each other.

Very much like the not-a-kiss that she shared with James Potter.

Could it even be counted as one if it happened during a game? She reasoned that not - except the challenge was to kiss someone and then Sirius had chosen James and they had kissed.

No, not a kiss. Just a brush of lips.

One that cannot leave her mind ever since they shared it three days ago.

It happened for a stupid dare, one of those games that seemed to be popular that year and especially among Gryffindors. Marlene had accepted to gift mouse toys to Professor McGonagall, Mary had kissed Remus and Remus had kissed a flustered Sirius and Peter had performed surprisingly good dance steps for them. And then it was Lily's turn and Sirius was chosen to select her dare.

Sirius was always the worse when it came to ideas so Lily had almost laughed when he dared her to kiss someone; then her relief had vanished when a smirking Sirius had called for James.

James hadn't laughed, not even smiled and in general, James didn't seem to find this amusing at all.

He had frowned. 'Sirius, come on', he had complained, refusing to look in Lily's direction.

'You know the rules, Prongs', Sirius had said calmly. 'If Lily doesn't want she can give up'.

No one had backed down and Lily wouldn’t be the first. So she had raised and placed herself in front of the couch James was sitting, offering her hand.

'Come on, Potter'.

Her voice had been calm then, focused, practical. She certainly was more confident than James, that looked unsure, biting his lips and seeming like all he wanted was to disappear.

He wouldn't, she knew. James Potter never backed down from a challenge.

So he had raised, ignoring her hand, and Lily had raised her head - he was taller than her by half-a-head.

'Just a kiss, Evans', Sirius had reminded her, a note of provocation in his voice that Lily didn't have the time to understand, because suddenly she had realized how close she was to James.

They had been closer during their patrols, shared nights of working in the Head duties - once James had fallen asleep on her shoulder, or the time they had hugged after successfully organising the Halloween party and there was a dance they shared on the last Slug Club dinner. That proximity was not unusual.

But standing next to James, her head bent high to look at him, her eyes wavering between his hazel eyes and his lips - that was new.

The seconds seemed to last longer and her heart was beating faster because of - of what exactly she didn't know, but there was some sort of adrenaline and fear and elation. There was the same expression on James' face, plus one feeling she couldn't exactly define.

'Evans?', James whispered. 'Maybe you should…?'

He was right, of course, though Lily noticed he hadn't said what she should do.

Just a kiss. She could do it. 

So she raised her hands, cupping his face so he could lower his head; then Lily raised on her tiptoes and pressed her lips on James'.

People cheered around them as they had shared for all the other silly dares, but Lily couldn't hear the sounds, couldn't feel anything other than the softness of James' lips, his woody scent, and the warmth of his body so near him.

It lasted three seconds before they broke apart.

It could not be considered a kiss with that shortness of time.

And still it hadn't left Lily's mind.

The game had continued normally and James had not given her any indication that something had happened between them; he had laughed and joked and done his dare (using the Floo Powder to go to Dumbledore's office) without a blink.

And Lily had stayed quiet with her lips still tingling from that touch, still wishing for more.

That thought was driving her crazy, and not because it was James Potter who once she had promised she would never go out with me. No, this was crazy because it was James, who was her friend, whom she trusted, and who absolutely had no feelings for her anymore.

And Lily wanted to kiss him again.

This seemed to be a unilateral wish. In the last three days since that kind of a kiss, James hadn't said anything, hadn't done anything to indicate he had been thinking about her too. Instead, he had been his bright funny self, talking to her normally (in that way that she couldn't help but grin because he was an expert in making her smile) and doing his Head Boy duties.

But today was Wednesday, which meant they were supposed to patrol the corridors until eleven. A time alone with James Potter, just the two of them - maybe if Lily did kiss him, that increasing urge inside her would just be appeased...

Once again, though, James didn't give any signal he shared the same urge. Lily saw him talking to the Hufflepuff Prefect, guiding her in changing the Common Room password, and Lily felt strangely crestfallen when she noted the way they were laughing, sharing some joke about the kitchen.

She was silly of thinking she was the only one that he made feel happy through any conversation. That was just James. It didn't mean anything. Like probably that kiss.

This thought clouded her mind so when they were alone in the Prefects Room, just before the patrols, Lily pretended not to notice, concentrating on finishing the report of the last detentions. She was painfully aware of the time, however, so she couldn't even be surprised when James called her.

'Lily? Shall we - I mean, patrol?'

He looked strangely flustered. Lily turned to him, but James wasn't looking in her direction.

'I can go alone if you want, it's no big deal -'

'No, no'. Lily raised, packing her things. 'It's my job too - I wouldn’t dare to leave you alone’.

It was supposed to be a joke, but the way James’ lips curved made his response seemed more like a grimace.

Lily fell quiet after that.

It was a long dull patrol where nothing happened, though for once Lily hoped they would meet someone out of bed - preferably a group of people who would try to fight them back, just so there was any emotion. But the halls were empty and they walked in peace.

Lily wished she could feel that peace too, but in the absence of any other sense, she was painfully aware of how narrow some corridors were and how much closer she was to James Potter. Not too close - that she had been already and she knew that being by his side was just a shadow of how she had felt when they were kissing -, but enough so she could feel his scent and his warmth in that cold night and enough so their hands would brush together at some point, sending a wave of electricity through her body that reminded her that she absolutely needed to kiss James again.

A proper mind-blowing full kiss. Just so that desire would be fulfilled.

But James looked startled when their hands brushed, though it usually happened a lot in other patrols, and he crossed his arms as if to avoid that happened again.

‘Sorry’, he whispered.

‘For what?’, Lily asked, confused, her voice echoing in the empty hall, and he didn’t answer.

They finished the patrol in silence and somewhat distant from each other; Lily felt that James was trying really hard to avoid being near her and this realization made her feel suddenly immersed on ice.

He didn’t want to be near her.

Perhaps she had been too focused on her own wishes to realize James had not cared for that kiss. She remembered how he had complained to Sirius, how he seemed opposed to the idea…

Lily had spent so much time thinking of a proper kiss with James that she never had thought that maybe he would hate the idea.

All smile and hope were gone from her face when she told the password to the Common Room and the portrait opened.

‘Lily?’, she heard James asking, but she didn’t turn, walking in the empty Common Room with just the thought of sinking in her own bed. ‘Lily?’, he tried again, this time grabbing her shoulder, carefully to not touch any of her skin.

‘What, James?’, she asked back, turning to him and wishing she could be as cool as he. James just looked concerned with her, not at all like they had shared a kiss right in the middle of the Common Room three days ago, very close to the spot they were.

‘You - I don’t - I’ve talked to Sirius, ok? I told him that was off-limits’.

She blinked.

‘What are you talking about?’

‘That - that dare. I told him it wasn’t funny and I am sorry - I don’t want things to be awkward between us’.

Lily bit her lip before sighing. James was right. Despite anything she had might felt, despite the fact he was really attractive looking so worried with her now, his hands grasping his own hair in that way of his when he was nervous, they were friends. She could ignore any urge that she felt for him.

‘It’s fine’, she said, her voice lighter now. ‘No awkwardness’.

He smiled, and Lily forced herself to ignore how warm that smile was.

‘Good. It was just a stupid dare’.

‘Not even Sirius’ most creative idea’, Lily agreed, sharing the smile with him now. ‘Kiss someone? He could have done better’.

‘And it wasn’t even a kiss, come on’.

That made her stop.

‘What do you mean, it wasn’t a kiss?’

James flushed, his hand once again on his hair.

‘I mean, people were saying we kissed and I told them it didn’t count. That was like a brush? A peck?’

It was all she had thought of in the last three days, all she had tried to convince herself, and still, hearing James talking about it as if it meant nothing, as if those three seconds their lips had met weren’t worthy of being the only thing on her mind lately -

‘I hope it counted’, she heard herself saying, her heart pumping furiously on her chest. ‘Or else I wouldn’t have completed my dare and I would have to kiss you properly this time’.

James blinked at her, looking uncertainly.

‘No one thinks you didn’t finish your dare, Lily’, he said in a low voice, shivering when she took a step closer.

‘You seem to think’.

‘I was just - just trying to convince myself it was nothing to lose sleep over -’

‘It wasn’t even that good of a kiss’, Lily murmured, ignoring how she had mostly certain lost a lot of sleep thinking about it.

‘Yeah, I mean - if we had kissed for real, it would be far better’.

That made her grin and James’ eyes fell for her lips for a second before he looked back at her.

‘Confident much, Potter?’, she teased, and he rolled his eyes, but he was grinning too. That was familiar for them - the pleasant retorts, the light mood, the teasing.

It was only that need of kissing James that was new to Lily.

‘On my kissing abilities? Sure. If we had really kissed you wouldn’t be able to think of anything else’.

That seemed dangerous, Lily thought. If that sorry excuse of a kiss was already making her lose her mind over him, she didn’t want to know what a real kiss would do.

But she was never one to step down a challenge.

And as far as she knew, neither was James Potter.

‘Fine, you got me curious. I dare you to kiss me, James’.

He blinked furiously, not seeming to understand.

‘I - what?’

‘A proper kiss, like you said. Not a peck. Not a brush’.

His smile slowly died and he lowered his head to look at his own hands.

‘No’.

‘James Potter refusing a challenge?’, she asked, trying to sound light, despite the fact that there was something unpleasant dancing in her stomach. When he didn’t smile, she took a step away from him. ‘Sorry, I thought - sorry’.

‘It’s not you, it’s just - we are friends’.

‘Oh’, she tried for a smile. ‘I get it, too friends to mess things up with a kiss that would be only… better’.

‘It would’.

He looked back at her, his eyes full of conflict, and Lily refused to look away first, to take another step back. After a long minute, James approached her, his expression still unsure.

‘I have something to confess, Lily’, he whispered, the words seeming to come out on their own. ‘I know it was not a kiss, not really, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it’.

‘Me neither’, she admitted, and then he paused. She wettened her lips before saying again, with all the courage she could muster. ‘Maybe… maybe if we kissed it would get better?’

He didn’t seem so certain, but he nodded. ‘It wouldn’t have to mean anything’.

‘Just for the dare’, she agreed in a whisper, raising her head, and then there was an inch between their lips and the same feelings she had felt three days ago were involving her. Adrenaline and fear and elation, but now also there was another one and she finally understood what James had felt that night.

He had craved for that kiss as much as she was craving right now.

And then they moved at the same time, their lips meeting just as the eyes were closed and that was a proper real kiss as Lily had been dreaming of sharing with James, all pieces coming together: his hands holding her waist, her wands on his neck, burying themselves on his hair; the sweet taste of his mouth, his tongue dancing with hers and making her moan softly; the way her heart was beating so fast it seemed to want to come out of her body and yet flushing her with happiness and joy; and the magic.

Above all, there was the magic she was hoping for.

And then she realized James had been wrong. That meant something.

Much earlier than she would like, James broke apart, keeping their foreheads together while he caught his breath, seeming to calm himself. Lily watched his face, the tiny shining smile on his lips, and the disbelief in his hazel eyes when James finally opened them.

‘Hey’, he whispered, separating himself just so he could talk to her, but Lily was glad he didn’t mind the way her hands were still around his neck nor did he lifted his own arms from around her waist. ‘Now that was a kiss’.

‘Yeah’, she agreed, her voice low too. ‘But I was wrong’.

‘About?’

‘I thought it would get better. But I - I still wanna kiss you’.

He looked at her, seeming to be looking for some sign Lily was lying, but she knew he would find none. Her need for kissing him had not been subdued by the kiss they had just shared.

It had only grown, in fact.

‘A proper kiss?’

‘A real one’.

‘Is that a dare?’

‘No’, Lily smiled tentatively. ‘It was a request’.

It turned out that very much like her dares, James wouldn’t refuse her requests either.

[jincherie]

4 o’clock | 03

✩ — pairing: taehyung x reader ✩ — genre: hybrid au, single dad au, light angst, fluff ✩ — rating: sfw ✩ — words: 5.5k+ ✩ — warnings: slight angst ✩ — notes: another impulse update while the inspiration was ripe!! I hope u enjoy it :3 I’ll go over it and fix any mistakes with tense and grammar tomorrow either before or after work, so sorry for those in the meantime! i haven’t written in past tense in a while lol

— prompt: “Why are you crying, It’s only you and me here, Me and you, Oh you”

Even if it weren’t for the two twins that had endeared you so, you were sure you would have eventually been drawn to the beautiful soul of Kim Taehyung, like a planet to its star.

— masterlist || 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 — posted; 14.03.2020

“Ah— no— Haru! Don’t touch that please!”

You sat back, content to watch the chaos as it unfolded; Seokjin had sent you some small reports to write and you were making the most of the moment and finishing them while Jungkook and Namjoon helped watch the twins. It was nearing eight o’clock and the cafe had long since closed, the lights dimmed but still on— Namjoon had been counting the tills in peace until the two hybrid twins had grown curious about what was happening on the other side of the counter and darted around to investigate. Jungkook snickered at the scene as he swept the floors, not being shy about his laughter since Namjoon was too caught up to reprimand him right now.

Ordinarily, you didn’t babysit the twins at the cafe— but you’d brought them to get a hot chocolate since the weather was getting cooler and they’d been behaving so well lately you wanted to give them a treat. You’d already texted Taehyung to ask if they were allowed it, and he’d told you yes. The twins had been ecstatic the second you told them where you were going and why. Apparently they were big fans of Uncle Joon and Uncle Koo, despite spending a majority of their time with you these days.

“But Uncle Joon!” Haru whined, big eyes pointed right at the poor male in question. You did feel a little bad for him; he was just trying to count the tills and finish closing after all. “Wanna help!”

“Yeah!” Hansol chorused, popping up from behind his sister. “Wanna help!”

Namjoon seemed like he was absolutely lost for how to handle the situation, standing crowded with the tills held to his chest, and when he finally caved and sent a pleading look your way you couldn’t help but chuckle. You supposed you could put him out of his misery.

“Hey, cutie cubs! I have something over here that I really, really need your help with! Could you come help me?”

Of course, the answer was yes. At the opportunity to help one of their favourite people ever, their eyes lit up and you stifled a laugh as their tails flicked and whipped excitedly. They were scrambling around the counter within seconds, big eyes directed at you now as they clung to the leg closest to them.

“Yeah, y/n?” Hansol inquired, patting your thigh excitedly. “Need help?”

“I absolutely do!” you confessed dramatically, leaning closer. “It’s something only you two can do.”

They almost vibrated in their excitement, making you think maybe there was a little too much sugar in those hot chocolates. They leaned in closer, Haru whispering with wide eyes, “What is it?”

“Well,” you started, pulling out two pieces of blank paper. “I have something important I’m writing for one of my jobs, and it needs some pictures… but I don’t have any! Do you think you could draw me some pictures to send with it? I don’t know anyone who can do it as well as you…”

The twins gasped, sold immediately on the idea. You’d learned very quickly that of all their hobbies and things they like to do, anything to do with painting, drawing, and colouring— they liked that the most. Eagerly, they climbed onto the free seats at the table where you were perched, looking at you obediently and patiently. Their ears betrayed their excitement though, flicking and twitching restlessly. You passed them a piece of paper each and let them choose one of the markers from your pencil case. Haru chose blue, while her brother went for a light green.

“What do we draw?” she asked after a moment, marker looking very oversized in her tiny hand. To her credit, she had it in an expert grip.

“Anything you want,” you answered immediately, unable to help but laugh at their excited gasps.

“Weally?!” In his glee Hansol’s ‘r’ glided into a ‘w’ sound even more than usual and you almost clutched your chest in fear that you had a literal heart attack. They’re so cute, they’re so cute it’s over for me!

“Yup!” you nodded, waving your hand for them to go ahead and do whatever they want. They didn’t need to be told twice; they launched into their efforts, markers meeting paper eagerly. You could have sat and watched them all night, so endeared by the way their tongues stuck out in concentration and their ears flicked every so often. Unfortunately, you still had a report to finish and so begrudgingly you returned to that as they scribbled artfully across the pages, having granted Namjoon time to escape to the staff room and for Jungkook to grab the mop and bucket and begin sanitising the floor.

Like that, the cafe settled into a nice ambiance— the radio still played soft tunes across the store and the only out of place noises came when one of the twins dropped a marker or Jungkook bumped into a table or chair due to his shapely rump.

It lasted a good five minutes, and you suspected it would have lasted longer if Namjoon’s phone didn’t start ringing on the counter. The twins barely spared it a glance before returning to their works— man, you chose the distraction well, huh. There was the slight sound of cluttering and something falling in the direction of the backroom before Namjoon emerged with tousled hair and wide eyes, a note sticking to his cheek as he looked around hurriedly for his phone.

“Who on earth…” he muttered to himself as he searched; you pointed to your cheek when he caught your eye and he reached up to remove the note, appearing sheepish. It didn’t take him long to find the phone after that, hurrying to pick it up before passing it over to you on the bench. “Y/n, can you answer that? I think I flicked a coin in the sink and I don’t know if it went down the drain or not— thanks!”

Bewildered, you hurriedly scrambled to the counter, grabbing his phone and seeing that he’d already answered the call and just left it running. You didn’t have time to see who was on the other end before you brought it to your ear, not wanting to leave them hanging any longer than they already had been.

“Hello?” you said, sounding somewhat hesitant. Any caution you might have had was quickly thrown to the wind when a familiar dulcet tone greeted you from the other end, though.

“Wh— y/n?” Taehyung sounded surprised to hear your voice, and you didn’t blame him considering he’d called Namjoon’s phone. “Uh, hello. But, um… why…”

“Hey, Mr. Kim!” The change in your attitude was instant, something fluttering in your abdomen at the knowledge of who you were talking to. “Sorry to surprise you, but Namjoon is counting the tills and kind of dumped his phone on me. Is everything okay? Did you want to talk to the twins?”

Taehyung made a sound of understanding before hurrying to reassure you, “Ah, no! No, that’s okay, I’ll see them soon anyway. Um, I was actually calling because…”

He faded off for a moment, an awkward tone slipping into his voice when he resumed. “Um, all the buses near my work were cancelled because of maintenance or something and, um… I don’t really have a way to get home… so I was just…”

It took barely a second for you to realise what he was getting at. “Ah, you need someone to pick you up? No problem! I’m with the twins at the cafe right now, so I can come pick you up while Joon and Jungkook watch them for a few minutes if you’d like!”

The hybrid on the other end seemed flustered at your easy agreement and instant offer.

“I, um… that’s fine, if that’s not too much trouble? I’m sorry to be bothering you— I’ll pay y—”

“Nope, it’s okay!” you were quick to reassure him, making sure he knew that you didn’t expect compensation just for being a decent person. “Don’t even think of paying me extra, I don’t mind at all! Just text me the address and I’ll be there as soon as possible!”

The line was silent for a few moments before Taehyung spoke once more, sounding slightly choked up. “Thank you, y/n.”

“No problem,” you assured, saying goodbye before hanging up and placing Namjoon’s phone down. A few moments later your own buzzed in your pocket, most likely with the address you’d requested.

Ducking into the backroom, you let Namjoon know what the call was about and he easily agreed to watch the kids while you went to pick up their dad. Once you secured his blessing, you returned to the main area to see Jungkook currently being subjected to the twins and their marker, scribbles and drawings beginning to make their ways up his forearms. Hansol had managed to land the arm that already had some tattoos on it and was having the time of his life colouring them in. As soon as he saw you, he pointed excitedly, “Look, y/n! Uncle Koo’s a colouring book!”

The male in question seemed absolutely endeared by the twins and of course easily agreed to continue watching them while you went to pick up Taehyung. The twins were excited to see their dad again soon and so let you go in peace when you told them what was happening.

Fifteen minutes later found you on the road and nearing the destination that Taehyung had texted you. Apparently it wasn’t at his actual workplace, since there weren’t any bus stops there and he usually had to walk twenty minutes to the nearest one, but it was still in the general area. You were thankful that you’d driven the twins to the cafe instead of walking earlier, since it meant your car was already outside and waiting. You were also thankful one of your friends had bullied you into cleaning it the other day because you knew you’d be embarrassed as hell if Taehyung climbed in and found all the bueno bar wrappers that had been on the floor of the passenger side. What could you say? You had an addiction.

As the GPS on your phone told you that you were growing closer, you began to scan the streets for the golden-haired male in question. It didn’t take you long to spot him, because even in the dark he stood out as a spot of beauty in his surroundings, hair gleaming flaxen in the streetlights. He was only in a white button-down and slacks, but still he looked incredibly good. Honestly, if you saw an image of him you would have sworn up and down that he was a model. The flick of his ears as you neared the curb where he stood told you that he’d heard you from afar, but he waited until you were alongside him to shoot you a sheepish smile.

He was somewhat shy as he climbed in, tentative in his movements as he placed his bag down by his feet and shut the door, resting his hands in his lap. “Thank you,” he murmured again, low tone making your heart skip a beat. What was it about him that seemed to make you so… giddy?

“It’s not a problem!” you assured him again, making sure he caught your smile before you set the destination in your phone and turned to the road; you knew vaguely where you were, but you didn’t travel often to this part of town so you’d need a little bit of guidance to get back to Namjoon’s cafe. It was too dark to tell for sure, but you could have sworn the hybrid’s cheeks flushed slightly.

You didn’t think that the silence would have been all that awkward, but you didn’t want to really risk it—there was still a bit of distance between the two of you, understandably. He was basically your employer right now. But you couldn’t deny the urge sparking to life deep inside you that pushed you to get a bit closer to him. Inexplicably, it was something you wanted.

“When I left, the twins were having the time of their lives,” you informed him, unable to keep the smile from your voice. Your eyes were on the road but you caught his head lifting in your peripheral. “Originally I had them drawing something on paper, but when I came back they’d turned Jungkook into a canvas and discovered his tattoos. I think they were overjoyed to have a living colouring book.”

At your words, Taehyung couldn’t help the laugh that tumbled from his throat at his kids’ antics. “They love colouring,” he murmured in response, letting his head fall back against the headrest. Your brief glance over reveals his form, slumped slightly and wrought with exhaustion. A shard of concern wriggles its way into your chest, unsettling you slightly. Was he eating enough? Sleeping enough? You felt so bad for him that you wished you could lift every single worry from his shoulders and give the world to him on a silver platter. His twins deserved it, and so did he. You weren’t sure exactly when, in the past month or so of looking after his kids, that such feelings had had time to bloom, but they had. “I wish I could get them more things, since they go through materials so fast, but… paints are getting more and more expensive these days.”

You hummed, trying not to let the sadness currently permeating your chest to show on your face. “That’s true,” you responded softly. “I imagine they’d go through paints and markers faster than you can blink.”

Taehyung chuckled, the sound soft and low, eyes closed as he sank into the seat. “Yep. I have boxes full of drawings at home. They refuse to part with any of them.”

It was your turn to laugh now, able to imagine it all too easily. “I think they’d never talk to me again if I ever lost the ones they gave me.”

Soft melodies drifted through the car as you drove, your phone’s playlist still on the one you used to lull the twins to sleep. Endearingly enough, it seemed to be working wonders for their father, too. Every time you glimpsed over, it seemed like he was that bit closer to completely dozing off next to you. You were sure he’d be embarrassed about it later, but you honestly didn’t mind. It relieved you a bit to know he was getting at least a little bit of rest.

Well, he was until a low, rumbling sound echoed in the small space. You bit your lip to contain the laugh that attempted to bubble in your throat, but were unable to help the glance you gave to the side. Taehyung looked mortified, gaze averted out the window and cheeks red as his hand rested over his stomach, as though to muffle it should it make any further incriminating noises. His tail curled beside him in embarrassment.

“Well, I suppose that’s good timing,” you said, unable to keep the smile from your voice. “Are you in the mood for a noodle dish or something soupy? Or rice? I was gonna stop by somewhere and grab something for dinner anyway.”

Taehyung’s hands quickly rose, waving awkwardly. “Oh, no, it’s okay— we can just—”

You hummed, pinning him with a look as the car drew to a stop at a set of traffic lights. “Have you eaten today?”

He might have been embarrassed, but you could tell he wouldn’t be able to lie to you. You were proven right when he simply blushed, averting his gaze with his ears angling down.

“It’s okay,” you said, reaching to pat his leg before you had to return your hand to the gearstick. “I haven’t had dinner yet either, and we can grab something to take back for the twins too! Is there anywhere you’d like to go in particular?”

Perhaps it was the hunger, but he didn’t take long to give in and acquiesce to your gentle nudging. His voice was soft when it brushed your ears in response. “I don’t mind, anywhere is good.”

You pondered his words for a moment before speaking what came to mind, “I think I know a place that you’ll like.”

— x — x —

“Woah.”

You smiled at the wonderment in Taehyung’s voice, glancing over to see him looking around in awe. You’d decided to take him to your favourite fusion restaurant, since you remembered that they actually made that dish that he liked— japchae?— and it seemed you’d made the right choice. The restaurant was underground, and the ceiling sprinkled with woven trains of fairy lights. The walls of booths and along the tables were somewhat porus and absolutely covered in layers upon layers of scribbles and drawings from people who had visited over the years. A bowl of markers rested by the door and you were sure to grab one on the way past.

One of the table staff saw you and grinned, making her way over immediately. Her gaze didn’t even linger on Taehyung as it swept over him, something you appreciated.

“Y/n!” she burst, moving forward to bring you in for a quick hug. “It’s been a while! I feel like I haven’t seen you in years.”

You rolled your eyes, blushing slightly. “It’s only been like, a week, Jihyo. What, you weren’t there when I ordered last time?”

“I had placement,” she said, sighing dramatically. “We can’t all finish the semester on time, y/n.”

You laughed in response, and the brunette was quick to get back on track. “Table for two? In the usual spot?”

“Yes please!” you answered with a smile, feeling Taehyung shift in confusion behind you. You wonder if he thought that you were only coming for take away. Originally you were, but as you entered the restaurant you’d read a text from Jungkook saying that they’d taken to twins back to your house, so you felt less pressed to get there sooner.

The two of you follow Jihyo towards the back of the establishment, taking a seat when she gestures to do so in the booth furthest from the front and closer to the kitchens. She left you with menus and told you to press the button when you were ready to order.

“We’re eating here?”

You looked up to catch Taehyung’s gaze, and the expression you find there wasn’t upset or antsy, more confused. It occurred to you a moment later that maybe you should have asked for his opinion before deciding all on your own.

“Oh… Sorry, Mr. Kim.” Your cheeks heated in embarrassment at your own audacity. “I should have asked you— I just got a text from Jungkook saying they took the twins to my place so I figured we didn’t have to rush and could relax a bit. Would you like to get takeaway instead…?”

At your explanation, the male relaxed in his seat, shoulders releasing the small amount of tension they’d held. “No, it’s okay. And you can call me Taehyung, you know. I don’t think you’re that much younger than me, actually.”

Your head tilted in surprise as your hands opened the menu automatically. “Wait, how old are you?”

Taehyung hummed, opening his own menu and looking down, visibly growing happier at the sight of some of the dishes. “Twenty-four,” he answered distractedly, finger trailing over number 37 on the menu. “Are the pancakes good? I wonder if the twins would like them…”

It took all your willpower to snap your mouth closed and swallow your shock— twenty-four?! That’s so young! It wasn’t like he looked old, but to have kids… you thought that he was late-twenties or early-thirties and had just aged really well. You were left reeling at the fact he really wasn’t all that much older than you at all.

It made you even sadder, actually, as you realised that he must have been only twenty-one or so when the twins had first come into his life. It can’t have been easy, especially if the situation was as you suspected with the twins’ mother.

“Wow, you’re young,” you couldn’t stop it from rolling off your tongue, and coughed before continuing, ignoring his amused look. “And they are! I like both the spring onion and the kimchi one. For the twins though, they might like the spring onion one better. I’ll get some to take back to them so they can try it, actually. Maybe some of the chicken too… I’m craving chicken.”

You’d started off talking directly to him, but as you went on you had ended up talking more to yourself. You missed the soft smile that Taehyung sent your way. It was silent as the two of you ruminated over what to order, and neither of you spoke until it was time to order and the waitress (not Jihyo this time, unfortunately) was walking away with your meal ticket and the menus.

“Thank you.”

It caught you by surprise, his sudden words. You looked to him with wide eyes, mid-sip of your water, and blinked in confusion. He chuckled at the sight you presented before leaning back in the booth, taking the permanent marker into his grasp and fiddling with it between his fingers. You continued your sip, waiting for him to continue in his own time. You didn’t have to wait too long.

“For caring so much about Hansol and Haru,” he explained, eyes flicking to the side before rising to meet yours. His ears were lowered slightly, bashful, as he continued. “It means a lot to me, and I know that it means a lot to them. They…”

He cleared his throat, reaching for his own cup of water. He still looked exhausted, but the smell of food in the air had livened him considerably since you entered. “They’ve never really said anything, or asked about their mother, and I don’t know for sure whether they have put you in that role… but I’m glad they have someone else that they can trust and feel safe with. I know whenever I leave them with you that they’ll be okay, and I don’t have to worry, because you always spoil them and they’re always happy. So thank you, for that.”

You blinked, surprised at the sudden sting to your eyes. Flustered, you waved your hand at him, blinking rapidly to ward away the tears. “You should warn a girl before you spring something heartfelt like that on her, Mr. K— Taehyung. I might cry and then our food will be ruined.”

He was still for a second before your words sank in and he laughed, tipping his head back from the body of it. It was a joyous sound, and it made your heart sing to hear it— after the mushy way his earlier words had made you feel, you didn’t know if you were in a good place to handle it. You waited until he calmed to continue, wanting to respond properly now your thoughts were in order.

“But you’re more than welcome, you know.” His eyes met yours as you spoke, fingers fiddling with the marker. “Those two are so beautiful, Taehyung. I can see you give them everything and they really deserve it. I’ll have you know that if I could and they asked for it, I’d climb up and pluck every star out of the sky just for them. Everything I do for them is really the least I can do. I’ll always care for those two, even if you were to move away and forget all about me.”

He snorted at that last part, but you could tell he was touched from the tender look in his eyes. “Don’t worry, that’s not happening any time soon.“

A few moments of silence followed his words, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, and it was soon broken by the arrival of some of your meal. Your mouth started salivating the second your plate touched the table, but you held off until you asked the waitress for some plastic containers and she brought them back for you. Once you’d put some of the food aside for the twins, you happily dug in to the meat dish you’d ordered.

You didn’t catch Taehyung’s fond look as you put some food aside, but you did hear it when, moments later, he let out a soft sound that echoed surprisingly like a moan. Your head shot up and he blushed bright red, cheeks so full of food he looked more like a chipmunk than a lion. He chewed and swallowed the majority of it down before offering a sheepish explanation, “Sorry, it just tastes so good… it’s been so long since I had bulgogi.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, almost choking on your own mouthful. You didn’t say anything though, mind wandering to other things— namely, the mention of the twins mother. You wanted to know so badly what the situation was, but you were also painfully aware it was absolutely not your place to ask. But at the same time, the twins were young, and what were you meant to do if they ask difficult questions about their mother as children tend to do? You were torn, but you didn’t realise the extent to which your thoughts were playing across your face.

“You want to know about their mother.”

Freezing, you shot him a guilty look, mouth full of spring onion pancake. You feared that you’d look over and see an upset expression on his handsome face, but it was surprisingly neutral— if anything, he seemed amused at the mess you were making as you struggled to keep the food in your mouth.

“It’s okay,” he chuckled, taking a bite of his meal and humming at the flavour. “It’s only natural to wonder since you haven’t seen her. It’s not hard to tell that she’s not around.”

You finally managed to swallow the entire contents in your mouth, shooting him a look of apology. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to say anything if it’s painful…”

The hybrid shrugged, pushing the food in his bowl around with his chopsticks. “It’s okay. It’s been three years, the wound is old…” He picked out a piece of beef, munching it before continuing. “Their mother was another lion hybrid— I met her in an adoption shelter we’d both ended up in until we were of the legal age that we could leave. She was my first love. I thought the world of her. It wasn’t planned, when she got pregnant. She didn’t really want the a baby but, well… you know how it is.”

Something sharp stabbed in your chest at his words, your expression softening. Hybrids still faced a lot of discrimination in more ways than one, and they didn’t have access to all the same types of resources that humans often took for granted. So if she’d wanted to abort the pregnancy, you doubt she would have been able to…Taehyung cleared his throat, continuing.

“When she became pregnant, and after she had the twins, it became clear that she wasn’t really the woman I fell in love with… When I saw those two, my beautiful little cubs, and held them in my arms— I knew I would love them for the rest of my life. But she… it wasn’t a sentiment we shared. She grew cold and fought with me, saying I’d ruined her life. And then one day she left, before they’d even been weened. I haven’t seen or spoken to her since.”

“I’m so sorry…” it was all you could think to say, your heart aching for him. You couldn’t imagine the amount of betrayal that must have felt like, the hurt that would have resulted. And on top of it, how difficult it must have been to be on his own from the very beginning.

He wrinkled his nose, sniffling slightly before shooting you a reassuring look. He waved his hand through the air, returning to the meal more heartily. “Don’t be— like I said, the wound is old. Besides, I thought you should know since you spend so much time with the twins. They’re curious, and they’re kids… I wouldn’t want to put you in an uncomfortable situation if they asked something difficult.”

“I appreciate that,” you said, sectioning off another piece of pancake to put in your mouth. Your thoughts ran a mile a minute at the information he’d given you, but you did your best to push them to the backburner for now— you didn’t take him out and force food down his throat for the sake of hearing about his partner. “I am still sorry, though… It seems like a lot of things have happened to you that you don’t deserve.”

“That’s how it always is,” Taehyung shrugged, nonchalant. Something about how accepting he was of his own misfortune bothered you— he shouldn’t have had to be accepting of the way the world has treated him like dirt. You allowed your eyes to wash over him, taking in the slight bags under his eyes and the somewhat pallid quality to his skin. In that moment, you decided to do whatever you could to help him— both for him, and the twins. If it meant you continued sending home little care packages with the twins, then so be it.

Despite the somewhat depressing start the conversation had, it soon melded into more comfortable, relaxed topics. Taehyung seemed interested to know a bit more about you, apparently wanting to corroborate the many things his twins reported back to him with facts straight from the source itself— you. He asked about your schooling, what you wanted to do— eventually he allowed himself to verify some of the things the twins apparently told him, like if you really had a giant gudetama plushie in the corner of your bedroom. You’d blushed at that one, especially considering that it was true. In turn, you’d gone ahead and asked him about some of the things the twins had told you— like if he really didn’t like mint chocolate chip icecream, and if all the older ladies in the building really pinched his cheek and called him handsome every time they saw him.

At that he had cleared his throat and blushed too, before quietly admitting it was true. It seemed the twins were very good at digging up dirt on the both of you.

You didn’t linger in the restaurant all that long, making your way up to the counter after you’d eaten your fill. The conversation continued right up until you reached the register, at which point Taehyung promptly froze. You turned, in the middle of pulling your card out, and caught him looking with white eyes at the total, like he’d completely forgotten that he’d have to pay at the end of it. It wasn’t hard to guess the direction that his thoughts had gone, and when Jihyo read out your total for the table you left it barely a second before moving.

“Boop!” you said, smacking your card on the reader and relishing in the confirmation beep that sounded a second later. “Paid!”

Taehyung looked at you with wide eyes, hand coming to grip your sleeve. “Y/n, that was so much! You didn’t have to—”

“It’s okay, I got paid today,” you smiled at him, holding up the bag of takeaway containers before passing them to him. “Plus, it wasn’t just our meals— now we have some food to take back for the others, too!”

You were oblivious to the fond, amused smile Jihyo was sending your way, especially since she slapped a brighter one on when you faced her. “I’m glad you two enjoyed yourselves! I’ll see you next time y/n, make sure you bring him too! The chefs apparently liked watching his expressions as he enjoyed the food.”

You laughed, bringing your arm up in a mock salute as Taehyung blushed red beside you, risking a sheepish look back at the kitchen. Two chefs were peeking out the doorway, and waved when they saw him looking. Embarrassed, he tugged your sleeve and began moving towards the door, urging you to leave. You couldn’t help the laughter that escaped you on the way out, waving to Jihyo as you went and promising you’d be back soon.

— x —

Later, when Taehyung was laying in his own bed after Namjoon had dropped him home, the twins cuddled next to him — they’d been so ecstatic at the special food they’d gotten that they hadn’t left his side all night, clinging to him like never before— he couldn’t help but reflect once more on the changes in his life, however big or subtle. The most noticeable was you, and oddly enough, when he thought of you now, gratitude wasn’t the only feeling swirling in his chest like it had been before. There was something else there, something new and warm and even though he didn’t look any closer at it, scared to see its name, it comforted him all the way to sleep, sending him off to cozy dreams of the sun, the twins, and you.

a/n: pls let me know what u think and whether u enjoyed it by liking and rbing!!! it helps me know i’m doing somthing right!!! also feel free to support me on my kofi and send me an ask or too with what u think !!!1 thank u for reading and i love you!!! <3 <3

— masterlist || 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06

[scarletemeterio-thesecond]

Hey, sorry if I'm bothering you, but I wanted to ask if you could do a part two of Heartbreak and Betrayal. I really like the story, but it's sad that it ended that way 🥺,maybe a fluffy ending for the second part(?). 🌻 Btw english it's not my first language, sorry if I made mistakes! Have a nice day!🥺💕

Omg, thank you for being so sweet, and you're definitely not bothering me! Don't worry, english is not my first language either! Hope you have a nice day too! <3

Thank you so much for requesting a part 2! I actually had a few ideas to continue that imagine but I wasn't sure if anyone would want to read it. It's literally the longest thing I've ever written, I hope you like it!

•••

Making Things Right (Zuko x Reader)

Warnings: Mention of toes, mentions of scars

Genre: Fluff

Fandom: Avatar, The Last Airbender

Summary: Zuko and reader meet up again after the events at Ba Sing Se

Word Count: 4389

part 1

Joining the Avatar was one of the best things that have ever happened to me. I didn't only find amazing friends, I found a new family. I haven't been with them for long but we've already had a lot of adventures.

Right now, we were at the Western Air Temple since our plans for the invasion didn't work very well. We tried to talk to Aang about defeating the Fire Lord, but he didn't pay much attention. We needed to find a firebending teacher for him before the comet, and we had no idea where to look for one. We decided to follow Aang since we needed to find a solution to this problem. Once we all were back on land, Toph spoke, and we soon realized we had company. He was here, in front of us. The person I thought -and wished- I'd never see again, right there a few meters away from us.

He said he wanted to join us and even started talking about how much he had changed; I didn't believe anything he said. I hated to admit it, but the opportunity to let a potential firebending teacher go was kind of stupid but we were talking about Zuko here, the guy who had betrayed us; and he even said he sent that assassin after us! Apparently, I wasn't the only one who didn't want him here so we kicked him out.

"Why would he try to fool us like that?" asked Katara.

"Obviously, he wants to lead us into some kind of trap" said Sokka.

"This is just like when we were in prison together in Ba Sing Se" started saying the waterbender.

I wanted to agree with them, to say that I didn't believe any word he said but I just couldn't. I wanted to hate him, but a part of me knew we needed him, so I just stayed silent while they continued talking, with Aang joining them.

"He wasn't lying" said Toph, snapping me out of my thoughts. "And I'm just saying that considering his messed-up family and how he was raised, he could've turned out a lot worse".

"You're right, Toph. Let's go find him and give him a medal. The 'not as much of a jerk as you could've been' award" said Katara, clearly starting to get annoyed.

"All I know is that while he was talking to us, he was sincere. Maybe you're all just letting your hurt feelings to keep you from thinking clearly. Well, all except (Y/N), not a single bad word about him has left your mouth" she commented and I immediately wanted to kill her for pointing that out.

"Why would you even try to defend him, Toph?"

"Because, Katara, you're all ignoring one crucial fact: Aang needs a firebending teacher. We can't think of a single person in the world to do the job. Now one shows up on a silver platter and you won't even think about it?"

"I'm not having Zuko as my teacher" said Aang.

"Ugh, I'm beginning to wonder who's really the blind one around here" and after saying that, she left.

There was an awkward silence in the air, and I knew they would practically hate me for what I was about to say.

"She's right".

"No way, (Y/N)! The guy literally broke your heart and you're still defending him?"

"I'm not defending him, Sokka! I'm just saying that we should consider him as Aang's firebending teacher. Where would we find another person willing to do it?"

"You're just saying that just because somehow you still love him" said Katara in an angry tone.

"You have no idea how I feel" I said immediately. "And I thought I made myself very clear when I said I didn't want to talk about any of that the moment I joined you. Toph is right, you're all blind here".

After saying that, I started walking away. Once I got to a quiet place in the Temple, I sat down with my back against the wall, and as soon as my body touched the floor, I started crying. I didn’t know why, but I felt so frustrated, I was angry, sad, and even though I hated to admit it, I missed him so much. I often wondered what would’ve happened if things had been different and it only made me feel worse because I knew it made no sense to wish for something impossible, but sometimes I just wanted him by my side. I realized that Toph was approaching me and I quickly tried to get rid of my tears.

"Are you okay?" she asked me as she sat next to me. I loved how good of a friend she was and how much she cared about all of us, even if she didn’t show it all the time. "I know you were crying and I can imagine what happened but I’ll let you tell me about it if you want, yeah?" I nodded.

"I just told them you were right, about Aang needing a firebending teacher and… well, here I am. I know that he did bad things in the past, I personally experienced some of them, but we can’t let this opportunity go to waste and Katara started telling me that I was just saying that because I still loved him".

"Well, she’s not wrong, (Y/N)".

"I know, it’s just that- It made me feel even worse than I already feel because I know that I shouldn’t have feelings for him after everything that happened but I just can’t help it". I could feel the tears running down my face again. "I’m just so hurt, Toph. And I’ve even dreamt of seeing him again and exchanging a conversation with him but at the same time I feel like it’s not worth it; like he was just pretending with me the whole time".

"You have every right to feel like that" she started saying.

"But?"

"But maybe talking to him wouldn’t be such a bad idea" I knew she was right but deep down I tried to convince myself that she wasn’t. "I’m not saying you have to do it, not if you don’t want to. Maybe if he ends up joining us, you could take some baby steps, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess that doesn’t sound so bad" I admitted out loud. She smiled briefly and then she punched my arm and I couldn’t help but smile at her action. Toph was just so Toph sometimes. She got up and left, leaving me by myself, now a lot more at peace with my thoughts than before. I stayed there for a while and finally decided to go back to the others since it was getting late and it was my turn to make dinner.

We all ate in silence, there was a slightly uncomfortable silence, which was broken by my voice, asking if anyone had seen the little earthbender. Everyone said that they hadn’t seen or heard of her since earlier today and I found that pretty unusual.

"I’m sorry for reacting the way I did today" I said.

"No, (Y/N), I’m sorry for talking to you like that. I shouldn’t have told you what I did" said Katara, grabbing my hand and smiling at me. "We know you meant no harm, and we shouldn’t have been that mean to you". I accepted her apology, but I knew she still didn’t like the idea of Zuko joining us. After dinner, we all went to bed and it didn’t take long for me to fall asleep.

I woke up with the sun hitting my face. I stayed in my room for a few minutes and I finally decided to get up and go outside. Everyone was already up, which didn’t surprise me at all since I was extremely tired last night, so it made sense that I was the last to wake up. It was Katara’s turn to make lunch, but I decided to help her; I wanted to do something and I also wanted to spend some time with her. We shared some much-needed laughs and I felt so grateful to have a friend like her in my life; we had our fights, but at the end of the day, we were always there for each other and I loved that about our friendship. When we were done, we quickly started serving the food and she began to wonder where Toph was.

"I haven’t seen her since she stormed off yesterday" said Sokka.

"Maybe she’s just exploring the Air Temple" commented Haru. "There are some pretty fun spots to practice earthbending".

"I think we should go look for her".

"Oh, let her have fun with her rocks. I’m in no rush to have her yelling at us again".

"I don’t know, I think Katara is right. I haven’t seen her for a while and I’m starting to get worried" I said.

Then, we heard a loud noise and everything moved around us, and Toph fell from a little pile of rocks.

"Toph, what happened?"

"My feet got burned" she answered and Katara quickly started healing her feet.

"Oh, no, what happened?" she asked worriedly again.

"I just told you, my feet got burned".

"I meant how".

"Well, I kind of went to see Zuko last night".

"What?" I asked as the others reacted surprised too.

"I just thought he could be helpful to us and if I talked to him, maybe we could work something out".

"So he attacked you?" asked Sokka, also worried.

"Well, he did and he didn’t" said Toph before saying that it had been an accident.

"See, you trusted Zuko and you got burned… literally" said Sokka. "And it’s not the first time this happens, we can’t trust him".

As he said that, I immediately touched my arm, which now had a scar thanks to everything that had happened back in Ba Sing Se. They all kept talking but I didn’t pay any attention to them, I was concentrated on my thoughts. I didn’t think much about my scar but when I did, it just took me back to the catacombs. Suddenly, there was a loud explosion and we tried to hide as soon as possible. Just before doing that, we saw Zuko telling Combustion Man to stop hunting Aang, but he paid no attention and continued anyways. We tried to fight back since we had to do something if we didn’t want anything bad to happen to us. Thankfully, Sokka had the amazing idea of using his boomerang, which literally saved us. Well, along with Zuko. He was climbing from a root, trying not to fall and he didn’t.

"I can’t believe I’m saying this but thanks, Zuko" said Aang.

"Listen, I know I didn’t explain myself very well yesterday. I’ve been through a lot in the past years, and it’s been hard. But I’m realizing that I had to go through all those things to learn the truth." He looked at me while saying that and it didn’t take me long to break the eye contact between us. "I thought I had lost my honor and that somehow my father could return it to me. But I know now that no one can give you your honor. It’s something you earn for yourself by choosing to do what’s right. And all I want now is to play my part in ending this war, I know my destiny is to help you restore balance to the world".

I could see that Aang’s expression was a lot softer now as Zuko kept talking, and I realized mine was too.

"I’m sorry for what I did to you. It was an accident." He said to Toph. "Fire can be dangerous and wild. So as a firebender, I need to be more careful and control my bending so I don’t hurt people unintentionally".

"I think you are supposed to be my firebending teacher" said Aang. "When I first tried to learn firebending, I burned Katara. And after that, I never wanted to firebend again. But now I know you understand how easy it is to hurt the people you love" I lifted my head at his words, feeling the young Avatar’s eyes on me and I quickly looked at Zuko before looking away once more. "I’d like you to teach me".

"Thank you. I’m so happy you’ve accepted me into your group".

"Not so fast. I still have to ask my friends if it’s okay with them" he then proceeded to ask every single one of us our opinion on the matter, and I felt my heart beating fast when he said my name.

"You need a firebending teacher, it would be dumb of us to refuse his offer" I said, and that made it official: Zuko was now part of our group.

Having him around was a bit weird at first, but as the days went by, I got used to his presence. I hated to admit it but having him around wasn’t so bad after all. We were now having dinner, and we were glad Zuko and Katara were fine after their trip together. It was weird to be camping, but I liked to be outdoors, so it didn’t bother me; well, except for the cold, of course. We stayed around the fire for a while after we finished eating, but we finally decided to go to bed since we had to get up early in order to go to Ember Island. Everyone had gone to their tents but I stayed outside for a while, drawing whatever went through my mind.

"Here" I heard a voice say. I looked up and I was met up with Zuko’s face, and he was offering me his robe. I looked at him confused and he sat by my side. "You’re cold, I can tell because you’re curling your toes" he said.

"Thanks" I said, grabbing his robe and putting it on. He stayed there beside me and asked me what I was drawing. "Just Momo sleeping". As I said that I gestured with my head to show him where the lemur was, and he let out a smile.

"I know I said this a couple of times already but I’m glad to see you again and I-" he said, but I interrupted him.

"Please, Zuko, I don’t want to talk about it now. It’s late, I’m tired, and I’d very much rather have this conversation at any other moment; not now, please". I begged, not wanting to deal with this right now. He nodded and told me he understood, but that we would have to talk sooner or later. "I know, I’m still very confused. Give me some time to figure out my feelings, please".

"I will, I promise".

We stayed there in silence for a few minutes while I finished my drawing. Once I was done, I started getting up to go to my tent, and when I was going to give Zuko back his robe, he told me to keep it. I smiled at him and started walking away, but I turned around and walked back to him.

"Here, I want you to have it" I said while giving him my drawing. He smiled and thanked me. We stood there, looking at each other for a few seconds until he said it was late and that we both should go to bed.

"Good night, (Y/N)". Right before walking away, he gave me a quick kiss on my cheek and I was glad it was dark enough for him to not see that I was blushing. I went to my tent and tried to be as silent as possible since I thought Katara would be already asleep.

"Did you guys kiss?" I heard her ask.

"Spirits, Katara, you scared me!" I yelled in a whisper.

"I'm sorry. Did you, though?"

"No, nothing happened" I said, hoping she'd believe me. I took off Zuko's robe and started getting inside my sleeping bag as Katara spoke again.

"Then why do you have his robe?"

"I was cold and he gave it to me, okay?" I looked at her and I realized she wouldn't leave me alone unless I told her everything, so I did. "I'm just so confused" I said after telling her, letting out a sigh.

"I think you're just scared of him hurting you again" she said. "And I get it, he really hurt you and you have every right to be mad, but I see the way he looks at you, (Y/N)".

"That's the thing, I don't even think I'm mad anymore. I guess you're right and I'm probably just scared, but I don't want to be".

"You still need some time".

"How much?" I asked. "Because if I'm being honest I miss him a lot and I just want to be with him, and it's already been a while since he joined us. It's like I'm just a tiny little step away from being ready".

"As much as you need, (Y/N). You'll know when you're ready, trust me". She grabbed my hand in order to reassure me and I smiled at her. "Maybe you're ready and you just don't want to admit it to yourself" she whispered.

She then proceeded to say good night and quickly fell asleep. I was tired, but I just wasn't able to stop thinking about my shared moment with Zuko and what Katara said to me. Maybe she was right and I was ready; maybe I was just scared of being ready, of getting hurt again. I could feel my head starting to hurt a little, but still I thankfully managed to fall asleep, which was actually a blessing since I didn't want to be tired for our trip.

Being at Ember Island felt extremely weird, but it was the best place we had to hide until the comet. Aang and Zuko were training, and Katara, Toph, and I were sitting in the corner. We were all talking when suddenly Sokka and Suki told us about a play that, supposedly, told our story.

"We were just in town and we found this poster" said Suki and then Sokka showed us said poster.

"Listen to this. The Boy In The Iceberg is a new production from acclaimed playwright Puan Tin, who scoured the globe gathering information on the Avatar" he started saying, reading what was on the poster.

"Do you really think it's a good idea for us to attend a play about us?" asked Katara.

"Oh, come on. A day at the theater? This is the kind of time-wasting nonsense I've been missing" said her brother. And so we decided to go that night. I honestly didn't know what to expect, but we honestly needed to take a break.

The day went by pretty quick, and soon we had to get ready to go.

"I think that maybe you should take of that shirt" said Katara, looking at the one I was wearing under my fire nation attire. "We don't want people to suspect we're not from the Fire Nation, and your shirt is blue".

I sighed in frustration but I knew she was right. However, I didn't want to take it out, mainly because I was a bit self-conscious about my scar; it was the only reason I used my long sleeve shirt.

"Could you come and help me?" I asked the waterbender. "I can't put this top back on my by myself". She nodded and we went inside for a moment. I had taken off my blue shirt and when she was helping me with my red one, she noticed something was wrong.

"I can stay here with you if you don't feel comfortable going out without covering it" she said, talking about my scar. I honestly considered accepting her offer for a moment. I wasn't that self-conscious about my scar anymore, but covering it was easier: I didn't have to worry about people looking at me, or things like that. But tonight I didn't really care about what anyone could think, so I refused.

"It's nothing, Katara. We should go, we don't want to be late" I said right before she finished helping me with my top. I thanked her and we went back outside to meet the others. We were all ready and so we left.

When we got to the theater, we quickly went to our sits since the play was about to begin. I sat between Zuko and Katara, with Aang and Toph at each end of the bench.

Everything up till the intermission was kind of weird; the guys have told me some things that happened before I joined them, but seeing some actors recreating that was extremely funny.

"Look guys, I know it must hurt but what you're seeing up there is the truth" said Toph before going back to our sits.

When it was Toph's moment to appear in the play, she got excited. She was played by some guy and she actually found that extremely funny, and so did I; maybe coming here hadn't been such a bad idea after all.

Or maybe it was. I wasn't in the play, and when they were acting the whole catacombs situation, they made it seem like Katara and Zuko liked each other. I knew they didn't, but it still made me feel weird and I could tell they felt the same. Suddenly, Aang got up and left and a few moments later, I decided to do the same. I sat on the floor with my back against the wall, waiting for the next intermission. It wasn't long till everyone got out, and Toph, Zuko and I stayed there while Katara went to look for Aang and Sokka went backstage with Suki.

"Geez, everyone's getting so upset about their characters. Even you seem more down than usual, and that's saying something" said the earthbender to Zuko.

"At least you guys are in the play, they didn't even mention me" I said under my breath.

"You don't get it, Toph. You get a muscly version of yourself taking down ten bad guys at once and making sassy remarks".

"Yeah, that's pretty great" said the little girl.

"But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life and shoves them back in my face. Even the ones they don't talk about!" After hearing that, I didn't even think before acting, I just grabbed his hand and started caressing it. He kept talking about his uncle but I didn't say anything; I just stayed there in silence, letting them talk.

We went back in for the last part of the play. To be honest, I was a little bored and just wanted to head back to the house. I could tell I wasn't the only one, and there was a weird tension in the air. We all were a bit shocked at the end of the play, and on the way back to the house we all talked about how bad it actually was. Once we got there, everyone quickly went to bed, and when I was leaving, Zuko told me to stop.

"Is now a good time to talk?" he asked and I slowly nodded. We sat near the fountain, next to each other. "I don't know what the playwright was thinking, but that thing with Katara never happened at the catacombs" he said after a while.

"I know" I whispered. "It was just a play" I reassured him. He nodded and let out a sigh before talking again.

"I have so many things to say but I don't know where to begin with I-" he took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. "I just want to make things right".

"I'm not mad at you anymore, Zuko" I said. "I used to be so angry and sad, I guess I needed some time".

"I understand. I'm so sorry for everything that happened, I feel so guilty for betraying you and for hurting you" he said the last part while looking briefly at my arm. "If I could go back to that day, I… I don't know what I would do, honestly".

"We can't change the past, Zuko" I said. "I just have one question and I need you to answer me with the truth. Did you ever feel something for me? Or were you just faking the whole time?" I could tell my heart was beating fast, and I even had some tears that threatened to fall down my cheeks.

"Every single moment with you was true" he said. "I really loved you, and I regret never saying it out loud because I know that it's too late now".

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking at him in the eyes.

"I never stopped loving you, (Y/N). Yes, I came here to help Aang, but also because I wanted to see you again. But after being around you for a while I realized that maybe you're better off without me".

"Don't say that" I whispered, preparing myself for what I was about to say, but before he words could leave my mouth he started talking again.

"But it's true. And I know deep down that I'll always love you, but I can't make you love me back if you don't and I-" I cut him off by grabbing his neck in order to press my lips against his.

"I do love you, Zuko. I never stopped loving you" he looked at me surprised, and I didn't know if it was because of what I just said or the kiss. Nevertheless, I kissed him again, and this time he kissed me back; the kiss was sweet and at the same time kind of desperate, and when I backed off a bit, I could tell he had a little smile on his face.

"I missed kissing you so much" he said, cupping my face to then give me a quick kiss on my nose. "I missed you so much" he whispered.

"I missed you too" I said right before hugging him and placing my head on his chest. He kissed my forehead and suddenly, right here with his arms around me, I felt at home.

[y2fandom]

Spanish. — Diego Hargreeves

Summary: Diego decides to help (Y/N) after seeing her struggle with Spanish at the library.

Word Count: 1.9K

A/N: Gosh it's been like, a million years since I wrote something pls go easy on me but feel free to tell me what you think feedback is always welcomed! (Also i lowkey based this of Sunrise from In The Heights so listen to it if you wanna)

I tried adding a read more but i don't have a computer so,,, yeah don't hate me if you come across this in your dash

—

Diego didn't frequent the library. He was honestly more of an action person than a sit-down-for-hours-reading person but he'd been stuck on a case and figured a little bit of background information wouldn't hurt. He'd come to find out not everything could be found out interrogating people on shady alleys. 

He just needed to use the computers, there was a very slim chance books would have the information he needed.

Diego went to turn on the machine when something stopped him. 

A groan. A deep and miserable groan followed by what sounded like thuds against wood.

Diego furrowed his eyebrows. He wouldn't have really minded if the noise hadn't come from directly in front of him. He stood up from the uncomfortable library chair to peer over the computer. 

There was a table on the other side and a lady had her forehead pressed against the wood. Diego would've thought she was asleep if he didn't witness with his own two eyes how she resumed banging her head against the table. It was a wonder how her book stayed propped while the furniture moved.

It wasn't his business, but he'd caught the cover of the book by mere chance. Spanish 101.

"¿Necesitas ayuda?" What was he doing? He just needed some information and that was it, yet here he was talking to a stranger. Selfish motivations, he told himself, I only want her to stop the noise so I can concentrate.

The lady rose her head. Her hair was disheveled from her previous attempts at becoming one with the table. She looked cute, if not a bit confused. She looked at Diego. 

He repeated his question. 

She nodded slowly. "Yeah, I– sí."

Diego approached her table, slightly cringing to himself at how he looked. He hadn't had a good night's sleep in at least a week and he was dressed in all black. Not exactly a comforting sight.

"Name's Diego," he said, suddenly feeling awkward as she glanced up at him, "I saw you struggling with Spanish?" 

She nodded, a shy smile creeping on her face. "I'm (Y/N), sorry if i disturbed you with my suffering, I know it's a library and you expect silence-"

Diego chuckled. "What made you want to learn Spanish?" 

"I just wanted to learn a new language I figured it would be useful…" she trailed off, before adding under her breath, "if only it wasn't this hard."

Diego smiled. "I could help you, it's my mother tongue," or it would be, he added in his mind.

(Y/N) perked up at his suggestion. "You would do that?" 

Diego nodded, ignoring the thoughts about work and information. He could afford to help someone who needed him. Work could wait. 

She motioned for him to sit down.

"What are you having trouble with?" 

(Y/N) let out a humorless laugh. "Just about everything really."

"Do you know how to introduce yourself?" 

She bit her lip for a second before nodding, "Mi nombre es (Y/N), uh, soy (age)-" 

"Tengo."

"Right, tengo (age) años, me gusto aprender-"

"Me gusta."

She nodded, surprising Diego. He'd expected her to be annoyed or to ask for a different method.  Instead, she took his corrections in stride, applying them without any protest. "Me gusta aprender y conocer nuevas personas," 

Diego nodded. "You're very good, actually."

A pinkish tone dusted her cheeks. "You think so? I feel like I still have a long way to go and vocab is so hard-" 

"I'm a little busy right now," the way she seemed to deflate at that made him feel a pang of guilt, "but i can help you study some other time?" 

She brightened up again at the suggestion.  "Yes! That would be perfect!" 

"Do you have a number?" 

She handed him a small piece of paper after writing in it. "Call me when you can Diego." 

《 . . . 》

“No English?” 

Diego nodded. He was trying to stay serious but her shocked expression made the corners of his mouth twitch. “No ingles.” 

She whined. “But–” The look he gave her made her reconsider her wording, “pero Diego.” 

“No buts.” He gave her a look. “The best way to learn is to practice.” 

“Apesta,” she huffed. 

“Esto apesta.” he corrected, a smug smile in his face in response to her pout. 

“Bueno,” She sighed after a small silence, “I won't change your mind, right?” 

“¿Qué?”

“I won't-”

“No hablo inglés,” he deadpanned.

(Y/N) glared at him. “Tú hablas inglés." 

He smiled at her, proud that he didn't need to correct her. “Si hablo inglés.” 

“Tú eres el peor," she groaned. And he was the worst, but he didn't care if he got to make her smile and learn.

“You still like me that way,” he teased. 

Her cheeks tinted a lovely shade of pink but before he could comment on it her eyes gained a determined glint. "Quiz me." 

Diego ignored her blatant disrespect of the rules he'd set. "Are you ready?"

(Y/N) nodded. "Creo." 

"Esquina?"

"Corner."

"Tienda?" 

"Store."

"Bombilla?"

"Lightbulb."

"Are you sure?" 

She bit her lip, but nodded anyways. "I'm sure."

Diego smiled. "All correct."

(Y/N) mirrored him and smiled also, standing up in a swift motion. Yet whatever she had planned on doing was stopped by her phone ringing.

She gave him a quick glance before picking up. A few affirmative hums later she set her phone down. (Y/N)’s apologetic smile made his heart sink.

“Tengo que ir.” She seemed reluctant and it made Diego wish he had the words to convince her to stay. Instead, he said:

“Irme." 

(Y/N) huffed, but the smile threatened to return to her face. “See you later, Diego." 

And then she hugged him. Diego felt breathless for a second. She had never hugged him but she was doing it now. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before. She was warm and smelled so sweet it made him want to never let go. Then, too soon it was over. (Y/N) pulled away taking the warmth with her.

She smiled up at him. “Hasta luego, Diego.” 

Diego watched her walk away.  wondering how she had managed to take with her the warmth of the embrace but not the fluttering feeling on his stomach.

《 . . . 》 

The sound of books being set on the table made Diego snap his head up. (Y/N) was wearing the biggest smile he'd seen on her and it made his stomach flutter. 

"Hola Diego," she said, her voice sweeter and lighter than usual. Every syllable made his heart do somersaults. 

"Hey."

"I have good news," she sing-songed, setting herself on the chair across him, "buenas noticias." 

Diego nodded, letting her continue. 

"He asked me out," she whisper-yelled, her eyes shining. 

Being the receiver of that look full of warmth didn't help Diego; he froze. "Wuh..?" 

(Y/N) pretended to hit her head. "Cierto," she said, "Remember I told you I had joined a class? To practice Spanish even more?" 

Diego nodded, he'd felt slightly hurt when she had announced it. It felt like he wasn't enough. But instead of saying that Diego had smirked and told her she had taken long enough. 

"Ok so, there's this guy in class, who I'm really into, his name is Marcus." The way she breathed his name felt like he was being stabbed with his own knives. "He's one of the most advanced people in the class and kind of the reason why I've wanted to improve so much in these last few weeks…" 

Diego felt like she'd just punched him on the gut. All this time a small part of him had harbored the hope she was doing so good because he was teaching her, not because she was pushing herself to be good for someone else. He looked down to his coffee before nodding at her again. 

"And now he's invited me on a date," she squealed, her smile growing bigger, "una cita." 

He nodded again. "That's, uh, that's really cool." 

Her smile softened. "¿Eres bien?"

"Estas." He corrected teasingly. Diego nodded. "Estoy cansado. I've been, uh, working late this last few days." 

Her mouth parted in a "o" shape, the same way it did any time he mentioned his vigilante work. (Y/N) looked at him with a serious gentleness that reminded him of how Grace looked at him when he was younger. "You need to take better care of yourself, Diego, please." 

How could he say no to her pleading eyes? Diego nodded. Getting ready to start their study session when his radio made a hissing noise. He glanced to (Y/N) and found her already looking at him. She nodded him to go. 

“It's important.” she reassured him in a hasty hug. "We can study later, go save em." 

He wanted to hate the way her voice made him giddy, he wanted to hate how he did a better job this time to make her proud of him, he wanted to hate that she had a date; but he couldn't. Diego was happy for her.

《 . . . 》

Diego waited in the agreed meeting spot. He cringed at himself at how fast he'd arrived, (Y/N) wasn't even there yet. He wanted to convince himself he wasn't far from the area but in reality, it was just that something seemed off. (Y/N)s voice had wavered a little when she'd called. 

The sound of a parking car caught his attention and he looked at it until someone came out of it. (Y/N).

His heart’s first instinct was to leap and his stomach burst in a million butterflies. She looked stunning. Diego firmly believed she looked good in anything but the way her outfit made her look almost made his jaw touch the ground. That was before he noticed her expression.

She smiled sadly at him, her watery eyes reflecting the lights of the street. It was almost like she could see him realize. 

“Hey.” 

“Are you okay?” Diego asked, concern thickly coating his tone.

(Y/N) went to nod but stopped herself. She opened her mouth and then closed it again.

Diego reached for her, engulfing her in a hug. “You can tell me."

(Y/N) was silent for a second and then, "how do you say pain?" 

Diego felt like she had a hand on his heart and she was slowly squeezing. "Dolor." 

"Tonight?"

"Esta noche."

She hesitated. "Stood up?"

Anger started to simmer underneath Diego's skin. "Plantada?" 

(Y/N) nodded against his chest. She look him in the eyes. the way the streetlight caught her tears made all the anger evaporate and be replaced by anguish. Who could've done something so rude to her?

She must've been able to read his expression because she said, "Marcus, he didn't show up." 

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)."

She laughed a little but there was no mirth behind the sound. "It's okay, it's not your fault." She sniffed, not bothering to pretend she wasn't crying. "It's lame but it hurts because I wanted him to love me—"

"Perhaps I do…"

Her eyes widened. "Diego?"

"Lo siento, (Y/N). I have feelings for you and i know it's not the time but I just wanted to tell you because it hurts seeing you feel unloved and-"

And she kissed him. Just a small, almost-on-the-lips-but-not-quite peck. (Y/N) giggled at his shocked face. 

"I like you, Diego."

Diego stuttered trying to find the right words to express what he was feeling at the moment. Nothing seemed to come out. Instead, he leaned over her and kissed her forehead. 

"It's guh-getting cold, let's get you home."

[cherriesfineline]

MEET HALFWAY OUR NEEDS - one shot

a/n: hi! this is my first time ever posting one of my writings online (I'm about to shit myself but oh well). I literally wrote this so fast I'm impressed, but anyways I (kind of) proof read this -not really- just quickly read through it after I finished it. English isn't my first language (I'm so self conscious I'm probably gonna say that every time I post something) but besides that, I really hope you enjoy this <3 feedback is truly appreciated, it helps me improve!

-Joey

Pairing: Harry x Y/N

Warnings: detailed sexual content

Word count: 9.2k (of mostly smut??? sorry)

the one where Harry wants to get married but Y/N doesn't.

As you grow older, you start realizing life isn't as easy as it seemed when you were a kid. Not everyone gets lucky enough to have a job they're passionate about. Not everyone can satisfy all their necessities. In fact, you realize it's most people instead of "not everyone".  Friendships and relationships won't last you a lifetime (those promises of being there for each other forever now seem like genuine naiveness) if you don't put enough effort in them. When you are young you believe that being able to play for hours straight without getting bored is what true friendship is about. And maybe it is, during those years.  Adult relationships require a lot of time, and effort. And sometimes, sacrifice. Conversations have a different weight, and being able to trust someone with your most uneasy thoughts and experiences is hard. To find and to keep.  When it comes to love, you start realizing that the thrill and intensity of teen romance isn't what true love is about. It's not about getting into fights, hardcore jealousy and toxicity behaviors. It's about being able to just be there, with that someone. Being able to coexist in each other's worlds, share what you're passionate about without any fear or remorse, being able to communicate. To ask for help when needed. Now, that doesn't mean things can't get complicated.  For the past two months, Y/N and Harry's relationship has been balancing on a very, extremely, thin line.  After six years of being together, and three of those living together, being the happiest they've ever been, everything started to look different for Harry. He was ready to take a step Y/N wasn't.  Harry always knew he wanted to get married, have kids, move to a pretty house outside New York (it's been his favorite city ever since he visited when he was 12, then moving all the way across the globe from Manchester to attend Columbia University). And when he met Y/N, he knew she was the one he wanted all that with. But Y/N... she wasn't so sure that was the life she wanted. Having kids was a no at least until she was in her 30's. And even then, she knew she'd have to re consider if that's what she really wanted.  She loves kids, she has a couple nieces a nephew's (coming from a big family has it's perks) and she's a preschool teacher. She's good with kids, but she wasn't so sure she'd be a great mother. Not for a specific reason, but she really feels like that's the case. Taking care of someone else's kids versus your own is extremely different. Now... it gets even more complicated when it comes to marriage. She doesn't believe that a piece of paper kept in a legal's office will make any changes in their relationship. It will all stay the same, married or not, so she just doesn't think it's important, nor worth the money.  Harry, on the other hand, thinks marrying her will change everything in his life. For the better. He loves her more than he'll ever be able to put into words. And because he can't put it into words, he feels like it's the actions, small and big, that help him communicate his love a bit better.  He still remembers the moment he mentioned marriage to her (not for the first time, but definitely the first time he actually thought 'ok i really want to marry her right now') like it happened yesterday. He remembers exactly what it felt like to physically feel his heart shatter inside his chest, and the way he silently cried himself to sleep that night with Y/N in his arms.  "Would you ever, uh... consider g-getting married? like, I don't know, if we ever have, like, an actual conversation about it, would you consider it?" He asked her in the middle of their Lord of the Rings marathon.  Harry could feel her intense staring at the side of his face. She was quiet for so long, it killed him. He truly wanted the cushions of their pink couch to just suck him inside the furniture piece.  He wouldn't dare to turn his face. He couldn't look at her, no. Not to face the rejection of his lifetime.  "Uh, I don't think so." She said, and Harry only nodded, thinking the conversation was over

once he felt her move her head to face the television again. "You know how I feel about you and how I feel about marriage. I honestly think it's useless. You don't need a signed paper to know how much I love you, Harry." Her tone was soft, but the words that left her mouth felt like a million knives inside his chest.  That conversation sent him spiraling over a thousand thoughts, overthinking their entire relationship and how he now felt like they were getting nowhere with it.  He respected her decision, though. That's why he didn't bring it up again.  Y/N sensed his mood change that same night. She kept her mouth shut, because she truly didn't know what to say. She didn't understand where he was coming from, or why it was so important to him. At first, she didn't think his mood was affected because of her not wanting to get married, maybe he had something else going on and was struggling to talk about it, but after many sessions with her therapist going over and over their conversations and trying to decipher why everything was so weird between them, she came to the conclusion it might have to do with them not getting married.  She just didn't want it. And she didn't know how to make him understand. But she couldn't lose him either. He was her everything. It took her months to be able to sit next to him like she did the night he was watching The Little Mermaid in the living room of their small New York apartment.  It's been months since they last shared a movie night, or a date. They've been eating dinner while having awkward small talk about their jobs and friends, going straight to bed after cleaning everything up, each to their side. They haven't touched each other except the occasional greeting peck ever since that night. And it was killing both of them, but neither knew how to approach the other.  As she sat down to his right, she saw him tense immediately. It broke her, to see him so on guard around her. Y/N couldn't look away from him, with her body facing him and her head rested on the back of the couch, she wanted to grab his hand so badly, but she didn't know if he'd reject her.  The doorbell rang, and he looked at her for the first time that night. His eyebrows had the cutest frown and she wanted to kiss his forehead to make him relax, but of course, she didn't.  She sent him a shy smile and stood up, going straight to the door and picking up the cash she left prepared on the little table next to it. She could feel his stare burning holes in her back, which sent chills down her spine.  "Thank you so much." Harry heard Y/N say, immediately hearing the door shut. From where he was sitting he didn't have a clear view on who was on the other side of the door. Y/N made her way to their kitchen (to do God knows what, Harry thought) only to appear seconds after with two tubes of ice cream (from his favorite place) and two big spoons.  She sat back down next to him with her legs under her, a little closer than moments ago but still out of Harry's reach.  She handed him one of the tubes, and Harry immediately noticed it was chocolate chip mint, his favorite, he might add. He looked up at her, who gave him a small shrug of her shoulders and a side smile, and he couldn't help but smile widely at her, his deep dimples on full display.  God, I missed those dimples so bad. Y/N thought.  But what she didn't know is that Harry was thinking about how much he missed her. Entirely. He hated himself for overthinking every small detail, and for thinking so lowly of their future. But he couldn't help it. "Thanks." He shyly took the ice cream and started eating right away. Not five minutes later, he grabbed her by her thigh and dragged her next to him, only to have her close to his body. And because he missed her. And her body heat. And her addictive smell of clean soap and vanilla. And a lot of other things which would take a lifetime to enumerate.  She looked at him from her new spot, and due to the proximity, she had to shift her head slightly up to look at his face. She slid her right arm around his left,

carefully looking at him to see any kind of reaction that might show discomfort, and when she noticed his smirk slowly and barely making an appearance, she relaxed next to him, fitting half of her body under his arm, with his elbow resting on her stomach and her head on his upper arm. Half way through the movie, with their ice cream tubes forgotten on their coffee table, Y/N looked back up to him, and even though she's been doing it every two minutes, Harry knew she wanted to say something this time. He doesn't look at her, though, thinking it might shy her away, but right when he was trying to concentrate back on the film, he heard her say something.  It was barely audible, almost like she didn't want him to hear it. Did he imagine it? Maybe he's so deprived from her and her touch and her words that he's finally going insane.  Harry looked at her this time, and looking straight at her grey eyes so closely for the first time in two months felt like a thousand fireworks exploding violently on his stomach.  "Did you say something?" He looked at her confused, and the look on her eyes is so hard to decipher he thinks she definitely said something she's scared to repeat.  "I miss you." Y/N repeated herself, barely louder. But then he knew for sure he didn't imagine it.  His Y/N missed him. For so long Harry thought he was losing her, that after distancing himself from her she finally realized she not only didn't want marriage, but a relationship with him at all. But she missed him. And he missed her.  "You miss me?" He asked, almost like he didn't believe her, his tone was low and his voice sounded deeper that ever.  Y/N nodded, but she felt pathetic. She felt like he didn't miss her like she missed him, maybe he didn't miss her at all. For two months she's been feeling like he wanted out, that this relationship felt like an obligation to him.  Harry felt her slowly sliding away from his arms, and that's when he realized he's been so stuck in his head he still hadn't replied.  "Don't," he quickly grabbed her by her thigh with his hand closest to her body "please, don't go." She stayed still in her place, looking at him with soft but sad eyes. "I miss you so much, Y/N." Harry turned on his spot so he's facing her, and softly cupped her jaw with his free hand, caressing her cheek with his thumb. "You have no idea." He whispered, slowly getting her face close to his while closing his eyes. He kissed her forehead so lovingly she literally burst into tears. Y/N's soft sobs alarmed Harry, lifting her head up by his hold on her jaw. "Please, don't cry baby. It breaks me when you cry."  Y/N shifted on her place so she was with her body facing the back of the couch, her knees pressed against it, but she tilted her body to the side so she could hug Harry. She slowly draped her arms around his torso, resting her head on his chest.  A sigh of relief left Harry's lips, resting his chin on top of her head while he hugged her back. One of his arms was resting low on her back, while the other one rested on her shoulder, his giant hand cupping her head to softly caress her hair.  They stayed in that position for a long time. Y/N could feel Harry's heartbeat, and how it slowly picked up speed when she pressed her lips to his chest. And even though he was wearing a shirt, Harry could feel the heat of her lips through it. He pressed his own lips on top of her head, leaving them there for a while, almost like a very long, still kiss, until he felt her head shift underneath his lips. He pulled away just barely to allow her to look up at him, and when she noticed him quickly looking down to her lips, she stretched her neck up to press their lips together.  It was a short, very sweet kiss. With fear as an undertaste and nervousness written all over her. She was just scared he was going to leave.  When she pulled away from him, she didn't have time to open her eyes as she felt Harry press their lips together again. This second kiss was almost the same as the first one, insecure.  It's funny, if you think about it. How similar their

feelings were and how scared they were of messing everything up with a single wrong move.  Once Harry pulled away from the kiss he initiated, they locked eyes, yet again. But this time, it was written all over their faces how badly they missed each other, and how much they dreaded to feel the effects each had on one another after so long.  The third kiss they shared, it's initiated from both sides, almost as they were able to read each other's minds. Their lips moved in sync, and as Harry softly captured Y/N's bottom lip between his own to slightly suck on it, she put more pressure into it. The kiss slowly started to gain force, passion and need. But she was scared to take the next step. She wanted him to take the full lead, as opposed to what they were used to, just because she didn't want him to feel like he owed her anything.  And then, he did take that step. The hand he had holding her jaw moved under her hair to grab her by the neck, while slowly tracing her bottom lip with his tongue, asking for access to her mouth. And once she allowed their tongues to meet, his hold on her lower back got stronger, draping his arm completely around her waist to pull her closer. That action made Y/N's body lift up from how strong he was holding her, and she took this as a sign to move. She straddled him on the couch, sinking (almost on slow motion) to sit on top of his thighs. Harry groaned in frustration. She's too far away, he thought.  "Closer." He said in a pleading tone, and Y/N complied immediately. She slid her body up his thighs, and he forced her chest to collide with his. The hand that was holding her neck slowly traced her entire spine, to join his other one on her lower back.  Her tongue felt so warm and soft, so inviting. He had always loved the way she kissed him, with so much passion but with a gentleness that was so her. She managed to fully relax in his hold once her hands found their way to his hair, right behind his ears, and he couldn't help but whimper at the feeling of their groins pressing together.  This sparked a burning fire inside both of them. A fire that burned so good they'd rather die caught on it, than to never feel it again.  Harry slowly slid his hands up and down her sides, all the way from her outer thighs to her side boobs. And when he did it for the second time, on his way up he slid his hands under her shirt instead of continuing their path over it. When his hands stopped at the higher part of their path, he caressed her side boobs with his thumbs, doing the same afterwards right below them, and when she finally grinded down on him, letting a deep groan leave her lips, he cupped her breasts with his hands.  But when she pulled away, he dropped his hands automatically.He started eating his brains out thinking he really messed up, he was taking things down a road she didn't want to take yet, which was okay, it's not like he only wanted her body back, but he was scared he made her uncomfortable.  Only then, his dick grew incredibly hard when she grabbed the hem of her oversized t-shirt to pull it up and off her body. Her perfectly perky boobs bounced slightly when Y/N dropped her shirt on the floor, resting her arms on her sides.  He looked up from the lovely sight of her boobs thinking about how badly he wanted to devour them, only to find her with an uncertain look on her face. And he hated it. He hated the thought of her doubting herself so much.  Harry ran his hands up and down her soft stomach, and then slid them up, softly but barely touching her boobs. His destination was somewhere else (for now), and he grabbed Y/N by her neck to pull her close.  Their lips met again in the softest kiss they shared that night so far, and Y/N melted in Harry's arms like the forgotten ice cream behind her. He kissed the corner of her lips as he pulled her hair slightly so he could start kissing her jawline, down to her neck, leaving pepper kisses all over her skin.  When he reached her collarbone he started sucking and biting (she loved when he bit her) knowing he couldn't do it to her neck

due to her job. She let a moan leave her lips, and when Harry slid one of his hands to grab her by her hip, she grinded down on him again, with more confidence this time.  Harry lowered his face a bit more so he could finally reach one of his favorite features of his Y/N, her boobs. He took her left breast in his mouth, sucking on Y/N's nipple, making her whimper and jerk forward, tightening her hold on his brown locks to pull him even closer. He slid the hand that was holding Y/N's hair down so he could pay attention to both nipples at the same time, while using his hand on her hip to keep a steady peace to her grinding. Once she caught up with the slow but rough peace he wanted, he let go of Y/N's hip to grab the nipple he had in his mouth with in his hand, and he pinched both of them at the same time, rolling the hard buds on his fingers, then moving his mouth to the other one.  He spent a lot of time paying attention to Y/N's nipples, nibbling, sucking, groping, knowing damn well they were extremely sensitive (she could orgasm just by nipple stimulation if done correctly, but she really wanted him right now). Y/N pulled from his hair enough to let him know she wanted something else, and when he let her nipple fall from his mouth, he looked straight into her eyes.  Harry's cheeks were tinted a pretty shade of pink, and Y/N couldn't help but admire the beautiful man under her.  He looked at her with such pure eyes, but lustful at the same time. She didn't understand how he could look so innocent but so fucking hot at the same time, it was unfair how angelic he was.  She grabbed a handful of his shirt, to let him know she wanted it off. Once Harry complied, throwing his shirt somewhere near Y/N's, he immediately reached for her cream silk shorts, tugging the elastic band down as a silent plea for her to get out of them for him.  She stood up from the couch, knowing Harry loved when she undressed herself for him, and still in between his legs holding eye contact, she slowly slid her shorts down her thighs along with her underwear.  Harry couldn't keep eye contact for long, though. His eyes were glued to her glistening core that was slowly making an appearance, and he was getting frustrated at how slow she was being.  He sat straighter on the couch so he could reach for her, and slid his hands down the front of her thighs, and on their way up he slowly slid them to their insides, getting close to where she wanted him. He slid one of his hands down again, but this time he grabbed her right leg from behind her knee, to pull it up. He made her rest her feet outside his thigh, which was now in between her legs. In this new position he got a clear view of her pretty pussy, all on display for him.  "So wet, baby." He whispered, and she couldn't help but return her hold on his hair to pull him closer to her. "All for me?" Harry asked her, looking up to stare at her right in the eyes. When she nodded, he hummed in response. "Let me take care of you, it's been so long. You probably need it so much, don't you?" His voice was so fucking deep and raspy she nodded desperately in response. Y/N couldn't handle much teasing, and she let Harry know by tightening her grip yet again, and forcing his face to be so close she could feel his breathing on her.  "Please, Harry." She pleaded. Harry loved teasing her, but he knew it's been a long time, he didn't want to frustrate her much.  He finally licked very slowly up her folds, all the way from her opening to her clit, humming when he reached her sensitive bundle of nerves. Y/N let out a long sigh of pleasure, her eyelids fluttering shut. She felt like she could literally come just by that, and when he closed his lips around her clit, she grind her hips against his lips. He started switching between sucking and pressing his tongue on her clit until he started to move it, creating undefined figures with the tip of his tongue.  They missed each other so much, so so much. And they both knew sex wouldn't magically fix everything. They knew they needed to work things out. But

sometimes conversation needs a little push, something to remind them why they need to fix things. The magnetic pull they felt towards each other was unbearably strong. They needed each other, in every imaginable way, but at that moment, they needed each other's bodies and emotion, no words needed. Just feel each other close.  Harry gave her clit a sweet kiss, and looked up at her while his fingers traveled up and down her folds, until they found their home in her opening. He searched her eyes for approval, and when she whispered a soft 'please' he slowly sank his ring and middle finger, knuckle deep. She whimpered loud at the sudden pressure, and he groaned at the tightness of her hole.  He rested his forehead on her navel for a second to let her adjust, and when he felt her grind on his fingers, he held her gaze while lining his mouth with her clit yet again. Harry started to work his fingers in and out of her, sucking on her clit. But what turned him on the most was her slow grinding on his face and fingers, like she was fucking his fingers nstead of his fingers fucking her.  Harry used his free arm to slide it under her leg that was up on the couch, and grabbed her ass with a tight grip to pull her even closer.  The pleasure was beginning to feel overwhelming, the pressure deep down on her belly begging for release was making her desperate. Y/N's moans and breathy sighs were becoming louder and consistent and the way he could feel her legs slightly shaking gave away how close she was to her release.  Harry wanted her to make a mess on his face, so badly. He lowered his head and replaced his fingers with his tongue, not before he moved his fingers one last time to massage her spongy spot at the front of her insides. He fucked her with his tongue as he used his soaked fingers to stimulate her clit, circling in the fast and rough peace he knew she enjoyed so much.  Her insides felt like a rocket about to launch, between his moans sending vibrations through her entire body and his fingers stimulating her clit the way she exactly needed, she became a moaning mess. Y/N couldn't comprehend how she was still standing up, even though Harry's arm under her thigh was holding most of her weight up, her knees were about to give up soon.  "H-Harry, I'm so close," Y/N spoke as clearly as possible, knowing her panting was messing with her words, "please don't stop." He admired the way her jaw tightened and relaxed, her mouth opening shortly after, making a perfect 'o' with her eyes pressed shut.  With one specific movement of Harry's tongue, she finally let go. With her eyes rolling back she let a couple of continuous 'fuck's quickly leave her mouth. Her entire body jolted forwards, bending a bit over him while his mouth was still attached to her core, helping her ride her orgasm, making it last for as long as possible.  Y/N pulled Harry away from her with her grip on his hair once it became too much, and looked down at him. Without a second thought she bent down to lock her lips on his, with so much force it threw him back into his original seated position on the couch.  "Take your pants off, now." She demanded, but adding an almost inaudible 'please', mostly for her. He happily obliged, taking his boxers down with them, imitating her previous actions. His cock sprung free, and he hissed at the feeling of freedom. Harry was so focused on her he didn't realize how painfully hard he was. He could feel his own heartbeat thundering in his chest with so much force it was almost alarming. He needed her so, so badly. Once his pants and boxers were thrown and forgotten on the floor, she straddled him.  Giving him a quick but soft kiss on the lips, she began making her way down his neck, reaching back up again to (what she knew) was his most sensitive spot behind his ear. Y/N sucked a small bruise, and he whimpered. God, Y/N loved those small noises he made. She kissed her favorite beauty mark on the right side where his neck meets his shoulder, and that small action alone made his heart feel like someone was squeezing and

twisting it. He missed those small loving details from her.  Y/N kept making her way down his chest, leaving wet, open mouthed kisses all over him, not forgetting to suck and nibble at his nipples. She loved taking care of him. All of him. And the way he enjoyed her playing with his nipples was something he was always scared of admitting, but he knew he didn't have to ask her to do it, because she just knew.  She sunk down to her knees, still sucking and licking the skin all over his stomach while caressing his thighs (Oh, those thighs). Y/N finally grabbed his dick and slowly stroked him all the way from his base to the tip, collecting some of the precum leaking from his deep pink, swollen head. He groaned loudly, lifting his hips to fuck her fist once. She took that as a sign to lower her head even more, his cock now in front of her face.  "Want my mouth, baby?" She tapped her plump lips with his tip, and when he looked down at her, she moved her closed lips around him, almost like she was using his precum as lipgloss, her hand still slowly moving up and down his length. She got him hypnotized. "Hmm?" She raised her eyebrows at him.  "Y-yes, please." He heavily sighed. His begging made her drip down her thighs, he knew how much she loved it, and she knew he loved begging too, maybe even more than her. She always took such good care of him.  She swirled her tongue around his tip once, then proceeded to lick up his shaft a couple of times like his dick was an ice lolly. Once she finally wrapped her lips around his tip, he sighed in relief, and relaxed his shoulders. Harry's hands grabbed her neck to pull her head down, and she surprised him when she suddenly deep throated him before even working her way there.  "Fucking hell, Y/N." He moaned when he felt her humming around him. Harry grabbed her hair making a shift ponytail, to help her get her hair out of the way, and using his grip on it to lift her head, her mouth left his dick, and he smirked at the small pout on her lips. "You are so perfect." She ignored him and tried to lean forward again, which made him smile at how desperate she was. He let her get what she wanted, allowing her lips to wrap around his tip again. She licked up his slit and swirled her tongue around him, and hollowed her cheeks to suck on his tip. She took more of him in her mouth, using her right hand to work on his base and her left to gently cup his balls and play with them.  Harry knew he wouldn't last long. It's been a while since they've done anything remotely sexual, and his hand... his hand wasn't her. So even though he could get himself off, nothing in the world would compare to how it felt when it was his Y/N pleasing him.  His breathing became irregular as she bobbed her head up and down his length in a steady rhythm, and when she tugged on his balls he knew he had to pull her away right that second, or he would come. And he really wanted to, but not like this.  "Baby, please," he tried to pull her head away with a tug on her ponytail, but she didn't oblige. Instead, she looked up at him through her eyelashes, still bobbing her head up and down on him, and that sight alone could make him come in a heartbeat. But he kept it together. "I wanna come inside you, p-please."  And that made Y/N pull away, her mouth making a 'pop' sound when she let his dick fall from her lips. She then straddled him, her hands finding their home right behind his ears, grabbing him by his hair, while his made their way around her body, hugging her close. His dick fit perfectly between her lips, and Y/N grinded on him to feel his wet cock slide through her folds, creating the most delicious friction. Harry kissed her passionately, trying to pour everything he felt in the kiss. And Y/N did feel it, because she was trying to do the same. They repeated the action a couple of times until she reached in between them to grab a hold of him, positioning him on her opening.  And when she finally sank down on him, they locked gazes. They sat still, connected. They were so close. They felt so close.  Harry

nudged her nose with his, softly brushing their lips together. He then noticed a single tear run down her cheek, and reached for her face quickly. Right before it got in her mouth he caught it with his thumb, and she leaned in his touch.  They didn't say a word. Just sat still.  With Harry caressing her cheek, and Y/N looking straight into his eyes. Y/N leaned forward to capture his top lip between hers, leaving the sweetest kiss, repeating the action with his bottom lip. After, she went for the right corner of his mouth, his cheek, his jawline, his pulse point, behind his ear. And repeated the exact same trail on the left side of his face, finishing with his top and bottom lips, one last time before starting to slowly grind and circle her hips on him.  Harry just couldn't stop staring at her. The amount of love and adoration he held in his heart for that woman was beyond words, and actions. And he then understood. He understood that he could live a life without marriage if it meant living it with her. He could handle it. He would get over it.  He involuntarily dropped his head back and shut his eyes with so much force, while hissing through gritted teeth when she finally lifted her weight on her knees, sliding up on his dick until he was almost entirely out, only to sink back down roughly, going so deep it made both of them moan loudly at how tight she was.  She slid one of her hands around his neck to grab him by his chin, forcing him to look at her. Y/N kissed him again, and this time their kiss was messy and desperate, between crashing teeth and loud moans due to her fucking him with all she got.  She let go of Harry's mouth to sit straighter, using his shoulders as support to move faster. This position gave Harry a view he wouldn't trade for anything in the world. He could see his cock, so drenched of her arousal, and her pussy taking him so well. The wet sounds leaving their connected centers were magical, so erotic, accompanied with the small whimpers and moans coming out of her perfect lips.  Harry thought she looked like a fucking goddess, with her round and perky tits bouncing up and down every time her tight pussy took him entirely.  "You're being so good, baby. Letting me fuck you just how I like it." She whispered to him, staring at his heart shaped, swollen lips. The lips she was so addicted to.  "You take such good care of me, angel. Always." He replied, looking into her eyes which were still glued to his lips. She licked her own, and moved forward to crash them against his on another messy kiss.  They both were so close. Harry couldn't understand how he managed to hold his release for so long, but he was proud of himself.  Y/N separated their lips for a moment to make him suck her point and middle finger, which he complied immediately, knowing exactly what she was doing. He then watched her lower her hand between their bodies again, but this time to reach for her clit, where she started to gently rub circles, stimulating herself.  Harry started thrusting up with force, to meet her halfway, tightening his grip around her middle. Y/N bit down his shoulder to stifle a loud moan, which only made Harry thrust faster.  "Please come for me, Y/N, I wanna feel you come all- all around my cock." He managed to plead between breathy whimpers. And it only took a few more thrusts from him to make her insides explode in the most blissful sensation, like electricity running all the way from her belly to her toes. She stiffens in his hold, her inside walls tightening and clenching so hard it almost sends him out of her, making his balls tighten right before he lets go. She could feel him emptying inside her, his spurts of cum filling her up, leaving both of them exhausted, satisfied and utterly fucked.  None of them moved for a while. Y/N's breathing calmed him, almost like a lullaby, and the way Harry was gently stroking her back made goosebumps erupt all over her body.  Without any warning, Harry stood up, making Y/N wrap her legs around him, she hissed through the feeling of his dick moving while still

inside her, and she bit down his shoulder again. She didn't question what he was doing, she didn't care.  Harry sat her down on a cold surface after turning the lights on, and when she opened her eyes she realized he sat her in their bathroom counter. He put some space between them so he could finally look at her again. The fact that they barely spoke during sex today (when they were usually pretty vocal) made everything so... different. Not in a bad way, though. It made them both enjoy sex as the pure performance of just loving someone. No need of crazy positions, weird kinks or edging each other the way they're used to. Just love. The need to feel connected. The need of physically demonstrating each other's love. How they are each other's entire world.  "I'm gonna clean us up, okay?" Harry told her softly, and she only nodded in response. She leaned in to give him a soft kiss, which honestly caught Harry off guard now that the sexual act was over. But made him happy nonetheless. She was scared of him shutting her out again. But he was scared of her getting tired of him.  He knew she was a free soul. She wanted so many things, and settling down to start a family like he wanted to wasn't in her near plans, maybe in her plans at all. And he knew that. He understood it, and he respected it. He just thought about how badly he truly wanted that life with her. He was just scared she would let him go.  They both looked down and hissed the moment he slid out of her. Harry had the perfect view of their mixed cum dripping down her core, making a mess on the marble counter under her. And Y/N saw his dick twitch at the sight, but decided against commenting on it. Even though it made her slightly smirk.  Harry took his time cleaning both of them, and Y/N didn't look away from him. Not even for a second. He lifted her up again and literally sat her down on the toilet so she could pee. They've done this a thousand times, it was normal for them, she wasn't modest about him seeing or listening to her pee.  After they brushed their teeth next to each other, stealing curious looks (especially Harry at Y/N's boobs through the mirror), they went to bed together.  And for the first time in two months, she rested her head on his chest, with his arms wrapped around her.  The only thing she didn't notice was that once Harry knew she was asleep, he couldn't keep it in. He cried himself to sleep that night. But it wasn't any different from what he was used to from the past couple of months.  The only difference was that this time, he knew he'd give up his dreams if it meant he could keep her around.  &  The next morning, Y/N felt something, or someone, shift behind her. She knew it was Harry. His arm was thrown over her waist, resting dangerously close to her boobs (she secretly loved the way Harry seemed obsessed with her boobs) and she could feel his breathing hit the back of her neck.  She hugged his arm closer to her body to let him know she was awake, which made Harry shift even closer, cup her left breast and press his pretty pink and warm lips to her neck.  "Good morning." She said with a breathy laugh, her morning voice was a sound that drove Harry mad. She sounded way too sexy for her (or his) own good.  "Hi." He nuzzled her neck with his nose, "how'd you sleep?" He left another lingering kiss, this time below her ear.  "Amazing. Haven't slept this good in a while." She replied honestly, wiggling her body back towards him so their torsos were pressing together.  "Mhm, me too." He whispered, tightening his hold around her, his morning wood pressing on her lower back. She could already feel the pool of her arousal in between her legs, and when she arched her back so now his dick was pressing against the curve of her ass, he groaned in her ear.  He slowly started to grind himself against her ass, moving down on the bed a bit so he could better his position. And when she grinded back against him, he reached in between them to position himself on her opening. He pushed the tip in, just enough to feel her tight hole around

him.  "Can I?" He asked her to make sure they both wanted this. When she sighed deeply in pleasure and murmured a 'yes', he slowly thrusted into her, both moaning a bunch of profanities.  They both were huge lovers of morning sex. It increased their moods during their days, helped them relax and carry their days with a carefree feeling. So, he fucked her. Hard. Not even close to how loving they were last night. He woke up with an unbeatable energy, and he wanted to take advantage of it. He fucked her in the position they woke up in. He turned her to her stomach and fucked her while (almost) laying completely on top of her (she loved feeling his weight on her) and he fucked her on all fours, only to end up in their initial position, with her back against his chest on their sides, so he could play with her clit to help her come.  That morning they spent it in bed, Y/N made them breakfast, Harry read a book. They both knew they needed to talk, but they wanted to enjoy some time where everything felt normal between them again. So they avoided the topic.  But the conversation they owed each other kept being pushed. And for another two months, everything slowly started to feel normal again.  Usually, avoiding conversation will lead up to more hurting. But with Y/N and Harry, it ended up becoming a realization point.  Harry got in terms with the fact they wanted different things. He decided she was worth anything and everything in the world, because she was his world. But what he didn't know was that Y/N spent those entire two months imagining what a life like the one Harry wanted with her would be like.  And after one day, on Harry's 28th birthday, during a small walk they were taking on Central Park, she realized she would do anything in the world to make him the happiest man he could ever be. She kissed him so passionately that day, interrupting their walk. He looked at her with a confused look when she pulled away with the brightest smile on her face. But that smile made him confirm he was willing to give up his dream of getting married.  That's why in mid February, Y/N found herself shopping in a very expensive jewelry store. She knew Harry liked that place since his 'H' and 'S' rings were from there. They had an amazing section of handmade rings that she spent a long time going through. She wanted to pick the best one she could find.  She found the prettiest, most fine silver ring with a red stone adorning it's top. She knew he would love it. It definitely didn't look like the typical engagement ring, but nothing about Harry was typical. It would match the rest of his rings lovingly, and Y/N knew he would simply love it. Not only because it was a pretty ring, but because it would mean something big for them.  Three days later, Y/N came back from work to find Harry sitting on their living room couch watching the forecast. Why? Who the fuck knows. He never watched cable TV.  Y/N just stood there for a while, just staring at him.  "Hi, love." He greeted her. "Are you alright?" He asked with his eyebrows furrowed. The crease between them made an appearance, even though it was there most of the time.  "Hey." She finally moved, dropped her keys on the little bowl sitting on top of the small table in the hallway. "All good, gonna put some comfy clothes on really quick." She lied. She just couldn't wait any longer. Watching him sit there all frustratingly beautiful doing absolutely nothing was fucking annoying, it was so unfair how beautiful he was. She had an entire evening prepared but she just couldn't wait any longer. She wanted to do it now.  She dropped her purse on their bed and quickly got rid of her shoes, but didn't change into anything comfier. She just grabbed the small black velvet box from her t-shirt drawer and went back to the living room, sliding it in the back pocket of her jeans so he wouldn't be able to see it.  Harry looked at her with a confused look, wondering why she was still in her work clothes walking directly to him when she said she wanted to change.  She sunk to her knees in

between his legs, which only made him even more confused. "You sure you're alright?" Harry gently asked her. She just hummed in response and grabbed the remote sitting on the coffee table (moving as little as possible, she didn't want him seeing the small bump on her jeans because she knew he would ask about it), and turned back around.  She rested her ass on her ankles, and her arms on top of his thighs. "So..." she started.  "So..." Harry repeated, confused.  "I love you, so very much." Y/N started and Harry's breath got caught in his throat. He wasn't expecting this at all. "So much, you don't even understand." Her voice was barely louder than a whisper. They haven't told they loved each other in so long, scared of the other not saying it back. God only knows why, because it was clear as water they still loved each other with their whole beings. "And I know we both always wanted different things."  This is it. Harry thought. She's breaking up with me.  "And I know there are some things I believe that you will never understand, and there are some things I- I didn't understand, for a long time." Harry furrowed her eyebrows further at this last part. Now he truly didn't understand what she was trying to say. "For so long I thought I wanted something, you know? Like I was sure I had it all figured out for myself, the life I wanted. But I actually- I was searching for a life that wasn't mine. And I didn't realize that what I already have is everything I could possibly want." Y/N's cheeks were flushed, tears streaming down her face so fast they were drenching his hands that were now pressed against her cheeks, softly caressing them. "I know now, that love is about finding common ground. Meeting each other's needs. And sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone to do that. And I came to a conclusion." She swallowed the big lump on her throat, and that finally allowed her to let a long breath leave her chest. "I love you more than anything in this world. I hope you know that, and I know I struggle sometimes with letting you know how much I adore and admire all of you. But I promise to do my best today, and for the rest of my life, to make sure you know how loved you are. How much I'm willing to do for you. And this took me a while to understand, but I do now. I understand why you felt like you needed to take that 'next step' with us. And I understand why it'd make you as happy as you always said. So, it'd make me really happy to ask you to," Y/N reached her pocket and heard him gasp when she pulled the box in front of him, revealing a beautiful ring for him, "marry me." Harry was speechless. Truly, ultimately speechless. Not only was the love of his life asking him to marry her, she was saying she truly wanted this. Harry's gaze kept going from the ring back to her eyes. And after a while of no one saying anything, Y/N cleared her throat. "H," she whispered, "Will you marry me?" She asked, the soft tone on her voice and the question he dreamed so many times asking her knocked him back to life.  "Yes, yes, Y/N, yes- oh Y/N-" he choked a sob, and the biggest smiles appeared on both their faces. Y/N threw herself to him, wrapping her arms around his neck so tightly. He helped her straddle him so he could wrap his own arms around her.  They held each other for a few seconds, both crying the happiest tears they ever let drop, and when she pulled away to put the ring on him, he surprised her by crashing their lips together.  They shared their most passionate kiss in the entirety of their relationship, both still crying, smiling, spilling so much love and adoration with each stroke of their tongues. When he pulled away, she finally placed the box in between them again.  "Can I put it on you? I know you like to wear your 'H' ring on your ring finger, so we could put it somewhere else, you know? And make it our own thing-" Harry interrupted her giving her a soft peck, "or we could-" another kiss, "I don't know." She finally gave in, pressing her lips harder against him.  After another long kiss, he finally told her

where he wanted his ring, and with a last kiss he patted her ass to let her know he needed her to stand up.  "Wait here." He pointed at her, and she sat on the couch with a soft 'okay'.  He returned moments later with his hand behind his back and a lopsided smirk. He sat in the same position she was for her proposal, in between her legs.  Before he said anything, he moved his hands in between them, opening a red velvet box. She gasped like Harry did moments ago when she saw the beautiful ring with a small red stone (yes! Like his own ring) placed on top of a very thin and delicate silver band that was sitting inside the small box.  "It was my grandmother's." Harry said in a quiet tone. "She gave it to me before she passed away a couple months after we met, remember?" She slowly nodded, lifting her gaze to meet his eyes. There was so much love written all over his face. "I told her you were it for me. I knew I wanted this with you ever since we met at our university library. She gave it to me in hopes I could... give it to you some time." He gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I kept it hidden from you all this time. Didn't want you to find it and make everything weird between us. But I'd really love if you could, um... wear it if you want?" He shyly asked.  "It'd be an honor to carry her ring with me, Harry." His face lit up so fast at her response.  "Yeah?" He asked, perplexed.  "Yeah." Y/N replied with a big smile.  "Will you marry me, Y/N?" He asked her this time, and she couldn't help but giggle.  "I asked you first." She pecked his lips. "But yes, Harry. I'll marry you." And she kissed him again, and he couldn't help but smile so widely she ended up with her lips against his teeth.  After putting his grandmother's ring on her, they shared another night of pure, loving sex. None remember how many times they made each other come, but they did have another important conversation between rounds.  "Something else I wanted to tell you..." She said, in between kisses (they loved giving each other soft small pecks all over each other while they were talking). She was straddling him in their bed, his back against the headboard. He didn't want to pull out of her just yet, keeping his cum inside her for as long as possible.  "I know you're ready to have kids, like, right now." She said, and he raised his eyebrows playfully at her. "I can tell by your breeding kink, honestly." He let a loud laugh leave his chest, making her smile too. It was honestly hilarious, I mean, look at their position.  "I decided I really want to have kids with you." He gasped, "But..." he sunk down in his position, a visible pout on his lips, which she kissed away from him. "Promise me you'll wait for me, until I'm in my 30's" He locked eyes with her. She really wanted this. So much.  "Only three more years?!" He asked with so much hope.  "Three more years and we can start trying, I promise. I just thought that- that we could get married now, have some time as a married couple, you know? To enjoy ourselves." She shrugged and he couldn't help but smile widely and her, nodding frantically. "That way we are both adapting to each other, you know? Meet halfway our wants."  "God, I love you so much." He chose to say, instead of replying straight away. "I'll wait a lifetime to have kids with you if that's what you wanted, just please- decide before you reach menopau-" He couldn't even finish his sentence since she shut him up by putting her hand over his mouth.  "Don't even say it. God, I don't wanna be old." She sighed in frustration.  "I honestly can't wait to grow old with you." Harry said with such a loving tone, like an enamored teenager, hugging her closer to him. And she couldn't help but smile back at him. Because even though ageing scares her, she's ready to spend the rest of her life with him.  "I love you, my angel." Y/N told Harry, before kissing his lips, yet again. 

"I love you, my Y/N." Harry whispered to her, keeping her face close to his. 

X

Thank you so much for reading! Have a lovely day <3

-Joey

[luca-moreno]

So nonna Nico wanted a family dinner before Ethan leaves the Berlin 

aka ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

--

Luca doesn’t really know why he gets pulled in along with Marie for the odd little family dinner Zeus insisted on. Marie mutters something about an insurance policy when he asks and it doesn’t make a lot of sense to him but it means another one of Zeus’s home cooked meals and he won’t say no to that.  

Plus, Ben will be there.

There’s tension in the room and around the table where they all sit. Tension and long silences while they wait for Zeus to dish out the food. There’s a semi circle of phoenix and the commander reigns at the head of the table like a sharp eyed Queen watching over her army.

Luca happily finds himself sandwiched between Ben on one side and Ajax, glowering and clearly unhappy with life on the other. Then there’s Mason and the final phoenix, Luca can’t remember the name of but vaguely recalls from the Commander’s party in the club. Pike maybe? Lance? Some kind of ancient earth weapon he might have read about in a history book somewhere.

He nudges Ben under the table, willing his face not to get all pink when his knee brushes against him.

(Which one is he again?) Luca signs, trying to be subtle and knowing he’s failed when the man in question’s gaze falls to him.

“Ethan,” Ben says easily. “Sabre. Big brother,” he adds proudly.

Luca’s gaze shifts between them then he kinda squints. He vaguely remembers that from their scamper in the hall trying to spy. “Wait. You don’t look alike.”

“Adopted,” Ethan cuts in smoothly, making Luca jump. He detects something in the phoenix’s tone. Humor maybe? Not hostility, which was a nice change for once. He decides then that he likes Sabre with his pretty hair and a jawline that could cut glass – and whew! He really has no business being that attractive but then phoenix, so Luca figures he’ll allow it.

Plus he’s really good at making Ben laugh.

“Huh,” he shrugs. “Okay.”

Silence falls over the table again. Luca twitches, drums his fingers on the edge of the table lightly until Mason narrows his eyes at him and he quickly snatches them back. He’s hungry and bored and jittery with too many freakishly still apex predators in the room when he feels like squishy prey and he sinks back in his chair and huffs with enough force to blow his curls off his face.

He scoops up his spoon and tries to balance it on his nose and wonders again why he’s there.

“Why me?” He had asked Marie on the walk to the little room she had secured for them. She paused on the other side of the sealed door and gave him an amused glance.

“Because with you there, they’re less likely to tear each other apart and for some obscure reason I can’t even begin to understand, it’s really important to Nic.”

“I thought you said they were family. Why would they tear each other apart?”

Marie’s face falls and she looks sort of sad. “Brothers by circumstances, not choice.”

Luca shrugged. “Aren’t all families like that?”

“Not all. Besides,” Marie continues with a small hum. “I think you’re probably the only other person on this boat who isn’t scared of them.”

It’s not true, not by a long shot but it had made Luca laugh anyway. “Yeah, because they know they have to go through to you get to me. And you’re scarier than all of them.”

Marie cuffed him lightly on the shoulder as she laughs – definitely not a very commandery thing to do – which is just reason nine million and twenty six thousand why Luca adored her so much. “I’m going to take that as a compliment, Ensign.”

“One of the highest order, ma’am,” Luca tells her seriously, adjusting the strap on his guitar just as the door opens.

Another quiet moment ticks by. Luca is almost cross eyed by the time his spoon drops into his lap. “Do you ever think about how spoons are just tiny bowls with sticks attached to them?”

There’s silence and it stretches. Luca glances around the table and finds a multitude of pinched faces. Ajax looks mad, Ben looks delighted, the Commander looks like she’s praying to the gods for deliverance as she breathes deeply through her nose, Sabre’s expression are calculating but surprisingly, it’s Mason that loses it first.

He turns his face into Sabre’s side, shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Sabre’s lips twitch once then twice before he joins in. Then Ben, then Marie, and then Zeus even rumbles something. Ajax is the only one who doesn’t laugh, glaring around the table like he wants to murder them all as slowly and as painfully as possible. Luca shuffles ever so slightly closer to Ben. Marie was wrong, he thinks. He was a little scared of Ajax. Just a tiny bit, but he’s pretty sure Ben could take him if it came to that.

“Va bene,” Zeus booms. “Time to eat. Mangia!”

It’s easier when the food is in front of them. Luca helps Ben scoop out something red and cheesy, adding an extra dollop to his plate with a grin. “I know what you guys are like,” he whispers then does the same to Ajax just to stay on his good side.

The food seems to make them all relax, but only just.

“This is so fucking weird,” Ajax mutters around a mouthful of pasta.

Luca looks at the twirly shapes on his plate, drenched in quite possibly the tastiest sauce he’s ever come across. Even Mar’vera, the Asari that manned the roadside kiosk near his father’s place on the wards didn’t have stuff that tasted as good as this.

“Isn’t this pasta stuff a big thing back on Earth?”

“Not the food, idiot,” Ajax says it without any heat. He shovels in another mouthful as he gestures around the table.

Luca looks around curiously at the phoenix assembled there. “Oh. Why? Didn’t you do this all the time back in… phoenix land?”

“That’s not actually a thing, Luca,” Mason says with a snort. “Neither is phoenix school.”

“He means Phoenix One,” Marie cuts in, shooting Mason a look.

“Yeah,” Luca nods and waves his fork. A glob of sauce goes flying, narrowly missing Sabre. Luca’s pretty sure he would have to sleep with one eye open if that glob had ended up on a his very expensive looking outfit and he gulps nervously. “That.” He chews. “Wait, what’s Phoenix One?”

There’s an uncomfortable glance around the table when suddenly they all find their plates very interesting. Luca looks at Marie but she offers a small little shrug and keeps eating.

“Um…”

“It’s… complicated, Luc,” Mason says, not meeting his eye.

“Is it?” Luca wants to turn to Ben but he’s not oblivious to the way the vanguard beside him hunches over so he shrugs and stabs his pasta and chews enthusiastically instead. These phoenix guys were weird.

There’s a little stilted conversation around the table that Luca and Marie try to carry, but it’s still awkward. Mason and Sabre share too many sidelong looks and small smiles and Luca almost wonders if everyone should clear out and give them the room. He tries not to stare and leans in towards Ben, whispering out the corner of his mouth.

“I guess the divorce is off?”

Ben blinks in confusion before Luca jerks his head then realization dawns. Ben nods his head happily. He leans in close and Luca has to concentrate hard on what he says instead of getting distracted by how warm he is and how he smells far too earthy for being surrounded by the vacuum of space. “Archer,” he whispers. “Other brother. Talked sense and cooked brain food.”

Luca has no idea what that means but he’s utterly enthralled regardless. “Oh,” he says, like it’s the most amazing thing he’s ever heard but only because it is because Ben and he really likes the way Ben’s eyes kind of crinkle at the corners when he smiles and the way his canines seem a little sharper than the average human and the way his skin-

There’s a nudge against his boot that snaps him out of it and he looks up to see Sabre eying him with amusement.

“You were drooling,” he says, then flicks a napkin at Luca’s direction courtesy of a blue haze.

“What?” Luca squeaks as the napkin smacks him fair in the face.

“Are we going to have to give this kid the shovel talk?” Sabre asks no one in particular. Luca doesn’t know what a talking shovel is but it can’t be good and he shoots a panicked look in Marie’s direction.

“No,” she says firmly, fingers white around the stem of her wine glass. “We do not.”

“No shovel,” Ben says sternly, glaring at Sabre and Luca shoots him a grateful look.

“Um, thank… thank you?”

Ben knocks his shoulder and goes back to eating. Like almost everyone else at the table, he’s well onto his second serve.

“Marie, what’s this kid’s qualifications. Is he up to the job?”

“I’m going to be polite and pretend you didn’t just ask me that, Sinclair.”

“He’s one of Marie’s,” Mason reminds him. “So we know he’s solid.”

“Uh, hello? I’m right here,” Luca snaps irritably. What the hell? He’s about to open his mouth to complain some more but Ben leans over and he’s immediately distracted by the heat radiating off him.

“You get used to it. They do this a lot.”

Sabre looks momentarily offended by that. “Ben.”

Ben shrugs and licks the sauce off his fingers. “It’s true. Because youngest.”

“Because we’re supposed to look out for you.”

Mason chuckles and reaches for his glass. “Remember that time we took Ben to that strip club for his birthday?”

“That was definitely one of our more brilliant idea,” Sabre says mildly. Mason gives him an incredulous look.

“Okay, you and I remember that night very differently, Eth.”

Sabre’s slow smile has a distinctly predatory edge to it. “Do we?”

“Wait, you took him to a strip club?” Marie blinks and Mason bristles slightly.

“It was his birthday.”

“Oh my god,” she laughs behind her hand, like she knows something the rest of them don’t. Mason grins then.

“Oh, you’ve heard this one before, huh?”

“No, but I can only imagine with you involved.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing!” Marie waves her hand. “Continue.”

“I’m not sure I should now,” Mason mutters and Luca isn’t sure if he should be alarmed or not that the supposed leader of the fiercest human biotics in the galaxy pouts. Actually pouts, with the bottom lip and everything.

“Mason let him get drunk and then he ended up on stage with the dancers,” Zeus suddenly rumbles, cutting in to the conversation. Marie lets out a peel of laughter and Mason curses. “It was a riot. Had to pay for damages before they would let us leave.”

Ben looks confused. “Did I break something?”

“Only a lot of hearts, Benji,” Ethan chuckles indulgently and Mason snickers.

Luca tries very hard not to picture what the phoenix beside him would look like on a stage in colorful strobing lights and very little clothing in case his brain short circuits.

It does anyway.

“Uh,” he manages faintly. His voice suddenly feels like it’s coming from very far away.

“He ate the foliage on P1 too, once.”

Mason exhales heavily. “Phew, yeah. Now that was a rough night.”

That seems to snap Luca’s attention back and he eyes Ben and wonders if he needs to reconsider his crush. “You’re not gonna try to eat Meli, are you?”

There’s a little chirp in the corner from the drone when it hears its name. Ben cackles. “No, too spiky.”

“So was this your plan?” Sabre looks up from his glass as he addresses Zeus. “Get us all together to reminisce about old times?” His tone is faintly mocking but Zeus doesn’t react other than to pause his eating.

Ajax lets out a bark of brittle laughter. “Just hope that Huntsman doesn’t try to make another one of his fucking speeches.”

“Get fucked, Ajax,” Mason tells him cheerfully.

“We’re all hoping for that, Huntsman.”

Mason opens his mouth only for Marie to wave her knife threateningly in his direction. “Don’t fucking say it, Mase.”

Mason throws his hands up. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” he says but Luca hardly knows Mason from a bar of soap and even he recognizes that’s a lie.

“You’ll have to tell me the story behind that one later,” Luca hears Sabre whisper before pulling Mason in for a kiss.

“And there goes my fucking appetite,“ Ajax mutters, shooting daggers across the table.

Mason looks like he’s about to snap something else but Sabre’s hand lands on his knee. There’s a lowly uttered, babe and then just like that, Mason’s bristle fades. Luca was starting to understand why Marie had been concerned. Insurance policy, she had said but he’s not so sure a nobody like him would be able to do much if this lot decided to go to war.

RIP the SSV Berlin, Luca thinks. The captain will be pissed.

“This is the first time we’ve ever done this,” Zeus rumbles suddenly. His voice isn’t overly loud but it seems to carry across the room and make them all sink into their seats. Zeus scans his golden eyes around the table, skimming over each face until he stops and settles on Ben. “All of us.”

Ajax scoffs into the silence. “Fucking sentimental bullsh-“

“Maddy,” Marie hisses and Luca realizes with a start she looks like she’s on the verge of tearing up. Evidently Ajax realizes it too because he curses under his breath and sits back, arms folded tight across his chest and blue eyes simmering with ire he’s only just keeping in check.

Mason pushes aside his plate and gives up all semblance of good humor. He leans against Sabre. “The last time, at this rate.”

“So dramatic, Huntsman,” Ajax can’t resist a final dig.

Mason makes a visible effort to swallow his retort. Luca wonders curiously what would have happened if Sabre hadn’t been there. He shivers with the crackle of energy in the air, the latent biotics making his teeth ache again. It was going to fuck with his aids, he’s sure of it.

“We’re the only ones left,” Zeus continues. “Like it or not. There’s only us.”

“We’re not some fucking brady bunch, Zeus,” Ajax snaps. “Fuck this. I’ll go, then it really will be like old times-“

“No!” Ben jumps up, grips Ajax’s arm tight. “No, stay.”

“Aw, fuck, Scoots. This isn’t… It’s not you, okay.”

“Stay,” Ben sits Ajax down roughly and Luca has enough sense to shove the last of the pasta in his direction. He almost smiles as he takes it. At least Luca likes to think it’s a smile. It’s barely even a grimace, just a tight stretch of his lips over sharp teeth but there’s a collective easing of tension around the table.

“Hey,” Luca says brightly into the silence. “Wanna hear a song?”

[sweatersarecomfyy]

They Don’t Want Me

Pairing: Steve Rogers x soulmate!reader

Word Count: 2500

Warnings: none really, it’s angsty but then fluffy, happy ending. There is a bit of insecurities with the reader in this one, but it’s brief.

A/N: This is my first soulmate AU, this is also an AU where everyone is alive and hopping, you know the drill. I like this a lot, I hope it breaks your heart then fixes it :)

I am one of the lucky 2% of the population that did not find their soulmate by the age of 23. I also happen to be one of the lucky few people who ended up with some sort of super power. It had happened in the first year of college in a Bio lab and now I could shapeshift. After hiding the secret for four years and graduating, Tony Stark had found me out and hired me, tearing me from my desired job as a doctor, and making me a member of his earth-saving heroes, the Avengers.

If you hadn’t found your soulmate by my age there were only a few reasons why: your soulmate was dead, they lived really far away, or they just didn’t want you. I had done the research and paid good money for soulmate-mark matching sites, but no one in the world had logged an exact match and no death certificates showed the same mark, so I figured my soulmate didn’t want to find me. I haven’t gotten over it, but I have learned to live with it, and try to ignore the sunburst pattern on my inner arm that was so obviously on display for the rest of the world to see.

“These are your new teammates,” Tony guided me into a room and gestured to a small group of people I recognized from the news. I gulped.

“Nice to meet you,” Natasha shook my hand and I nodded.

The others had similar greetings, but I couldn’t tear my eyes from the last man.

“Welcome to the team,” He said. Along with the handshake he also clapped me on the shoulder and smiled genuinely, his blue eyes sparkled. He looked down at my arm and his brow furrowed slightly as he took in my soulmate mark.

“Yeah,” Was all I managed to get out before feeling my face get hot and turning away so that he couldn’t see my awkwardness.

***

The next day was all training. Shapeshifting had it’s perks when it came to exercise. I could be as weak or a strong as I wanted to. I started shifting to be taller and more muscular as I saw that my first trainer would be Steve.

“No powers,” He said, smirking.

“No fair, you get to use yours.”

“I can’t help it,” He chuckled.

I folded my arms.

“Look, I want you to train as yourself so that you can get the moves down before you get to use your powers. Is that fair?” He questioned.

I nodded. “I see your point,” It was going to be very hard to concentrate on learning to fight with the captain teaching me. For the first time in my whole life I found myself being drawn toward another soul. I didn’t know how it could be possible, I knew about his soulmate, about his history and how he had gotten to this point in time. It was probably nothing. Hormones maybe, just attraction. He couldn’t be my soulmate, he saw my mark, he would have said something.

“Got it?” He asked.

I snapped myself out of my thoughts and realized that I hadn’t heard anything he said, but I nodded anyway, not wanting to lose face on my first day. Luckily, he demonstrated with Nat before he got back to me again, so I could understand what was happening.

And so the days went on. Training, honing my powers, getting to know my teammates and the occasional missions. I got used to it. It was a nice type of life, even if it wasn’t the life I wanted.

***

“So, have you found your soulmate yet?” Nat asked, lounging on the couch against Bucky, sipping a drink.

I shook my head, “I don’t think they exist.”

“How do you know? You could still find them.” Sam chimed in.

I laughed shallowly and glanced at Steve. He was staring off into the distance, “They are either dead, or don’t want to find me. I’ve tried everything,” The room had an awkward silence. “It’s ok,” I said, “I’ve learned to live with it.”

“Well, if you want to find someone, you know, to be with, there are places you can go with similar experiences.” Nat said, “Steve has gone to some, he can tell you.”

I glanced back at Steve, who suddenly stood up and left the room. I watched until he walked out.

“Didn’t he, you know, have a soulmate?”

“Pretty sure,” Nat nodded, “He doesn’t like to talk about it much, but he did have a girl way back when.”

I inwardly groaned. There was no way we were soulmates then, but if his had died, maybe there was a chance… We had become very good friends over the past couple months. But, I was new, awkward, and consistently trying to squash my silly crush on the captain. It was stupid.

***

“You want some help?” I asked him, he was alone in the training room.

He stopped for a moment and smiled at me, “What, sorry”

“You want someone to spar with?” I clarified.

He beamed, “I don’t know if I can hold up against you.”

I had mastered my powers and was pretty good against most of the Avengers, “What if I don’t use my powers?”

He considered it for a moment, setting his hand on the punching bag, “Alright.” He gestured for me to come over.

We started sparring lightly, talking in between the punches.

“So how have you liked your time here?” He said, dodging me.

I shrugged and squared up to him again, “It’s got it’s perks,” I grinned, spinning around as he lunged.

He gave me a meaningful look, “How do you really feel?”

We both landed a few hits, but I was huffing at all the movement I had been forced to do just to dodge him.

“I’m fine, really, I just—”, I punched, “I dunno,” I took a breath, centering myself. He lunged and I took his arm and flipped him onto the floor, holding him down with my knee, “It’s like I don’t exist.”

He knocked me over by destabilizing my knee, “What do you mean?”

I relaxed for a moment to answer him, “As soon as I moved here, it’s like my friends won’t even talk to me anymore. I was worried that they were going to start using me for my position in the Avengers, but it is the exact opposite. They don’t even talk, I don’t know which is worse.”

I tried to use the moment of sympathy on his face to distract him and flip myself over, but he was too quick and pinned my arms down over my head, moving himself to hover over me. He grinned triumphantly. I tried not to think how close our faces were, or how sweaty and gross I probably was right now.

I saw him glance at my wrist and moved his hand down to look at my mark.

“They don’t exist,” I stated.

He furrowed his brow.

“My soulmate, they don’t seem to exist, that’s what you were wondering, weren’t you?”

He moved to my side and laid down on the floor next to me, “Sorry,” he said awkwardly.

“Don’t be, it’s not like it’s your fault,” I sighed, “I suppose you understand more than anyone.”

I glanced over at him and he nodded, “I didn’t have one, back then, never found them.”

“Didn’t you have, you know—” I started.

He laughed, “Sort of, we liked each other but knew it wouldn’t work out cause of our soulmate marks, she was a good friend though.”

I nodded.

“And I don’t know how long I have to live, you know, this serum stuff is still a bit of a mystery.”

“Well, couldn’t you search old records, see if they ever did exist?”

He looked at me intently, searching my face for a minute. The silence was long and tangible, but I didn’t want to break it.

He opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. He shook his head, “It was too painful to think about.”

I smiled at him sadly and stood up, reaching to help him up, “Better to just keep living,” I sighed, “You never really do get over it though.”

“No, not really,” he returned my sad smile, still searching my face. It made me want to hug him, but also disappear at the same time, like he could somehow see more than others could.

I realized I was still holding his hand and I let go, walking towards the door. He returned my little wave as I escaped to the security of my room.

For some reason I felt like crying. Being near him felt so good but I didn’t know how to deal with those feelings, especially with our complicated situations. I felt my eyes burning, but I just washed them away in the shower, breathing deeply to calm my troubled heart.

***

“You look nice today, are you going somewhere?” He asked as he walked into the kitchen.

I was at the counter eating my normal breakfast, this was several weeks after the whole sparring situation, and I had traded out my normal workout/avengers clothes for my favorite normal outfit. I noticed he wasn’t wearing his normal clothes either but had opted out for a tight shirt and sweatpants situation that despite being casual made all of his rather impressive physique even more impressive. I tried to stop staring but couldn’t really.

“Um, yeah. I might meet up with some friends, or not, it kind of depends on whether or not they show up.”

Steve gave me a knowing, sympathetic smile, “I’m sure they will.”

I nodded gratefully and watched him as he made his own breakfast, he reached up to grab something from the cabinets and that’s when I saw it: the starburst soulmate-mark right above his waistband, exactly identical to mine. I choked on my drink and he turned around, and realized his mistake.

I felt my eyes water up, partially because I had just choked on water, and partially at the realization of what was happening.

“YN…” He started.

I shook my head, tears clouding my vision, and ran out of the room. I ran to the service stairwell that no one ever used. I often went there to sing, and to be alone. I just sat down and cried, all of the self-deprecating thoughts I had over the past almost 24 years of my life coming to full realization. I don’t know how long I sat there before I heard the door open.

“YN,” He said.

I tried to silence my crying, and I leaned into the railing, wiping my eyes. I heard him coming down the stairs and stopping close behind me. I turned around with teary eyes to see him sitting a couple steps up. Neither of us talked for a minute.

I calmed my breathing, “You don’t want me,” It would have been better if I had found out if my soulmate was dead rather than to face this reality.

“Can we talk?” He said quietly.

“You had almost a year to talk, Captain, I don’t see how now is the best time,” I gritted my teeth, “I thought we were at least friends, we’ve talked so much—”, I couldn’t continue as I stifled another sob.

He didn’t reply.

“How did you know where to find me?”

I heard him move a step down, “I hear you singing in here sometimes,” He paused. “Plus this is where I come to be alone.”

I nodded still facing my back to him, “I understand why you wouldn’t want me. I wouldn’t want me either.”

“What?”

“I’m weird, I’m awkward, my powers are strange,” I sniffled again and said shakingly. “Is it the way I look, because I can change that. Maybe…” tears were pouring down my face again when he interrupted me.

“YN, no, goodness no. It’s not that.” He came and sat on the step next to me and put a tentative hand on my shoulder.

I stiffened.

“The moment I saw you, I knew. We were made for each other. You were so beautiful, you glowed, you… I don’t even know what to say, I just knew,” He sighed.

“Why didn’t you tell me then?” I almost yelled, my voice going up an octave in an ugly, childish way, “You knew I was waiting. Why don’t you want me?” I felt so stupid. There were tears pouring down my face and I felt like begging him to love me, to accept me, like no one had before. I continued to cry, face buried in my hands, looking like a complete idiot in front of the man I loved.

After a minute he spoke, “I’m so old. And you’re so young, and I just figured…”

“What, you figured I didn’t want you?” I scoffed, looking at him incredulously, “Do you have such a low opinion of me?”

He shook his head, “No, I, I, was just scared at first that you would be frightened and by the time I knew you well enough to know what you were like, well, I was afraid of this,” He gestured to the situation.

“Were you just never going to tell me?” I shook his hand off my shoulder.

He sighed again, “No, no, I was going to tell you. I was just trying to find the right time.”

I hugged my knees in closer to my chest and put my face in them. I was so angry, and relieved, and sad all at the same time, I kept sobbing.

“YN, I am so sorry,” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him, I didn’t resist, I just started crying into his shirt.

“You’re so stupid,” I managed to get out in a shaky breath.

“I know, I really am,” He held me closer, “I got so mixed up and thought—well, I just don’t have an excuse.”

“So stupid,” I mumbled out again.

“I know,” He brushed the hair out of my face that had become sticky from the tears, “But I love you so much. I’ve been so stupid, but I love you so much,” He held me close again, cradling my head into his shoulder

I tried to steady my breath again, “I’ve loved you since the day we met stupid.”

He chuckled, “I’m glad,” His tone got more serious, “But please, tell me what I can do to make this up to you.”

I pulled back and looked into his eyes. He wiped some of the tears off of my cheek, and held my face, stroking his thumb along my jaw. I leaned my forehead to his and reached my arms around the back of his neck, pulling us closer together. He was looking at my face again, searching it, his eyes lingering a little bit longer on my lips. I felt our breaths mingle together.

“Kiss me?” I whispered.

And he obliged.

[ourplaceinthecosmosphff]

Chapter 26. The Heart Wants What It Wants

'chaos is only understood when it is loved by the wild, not the weak’ - Zachry K. Douglas

I wondered, briefly, if my parents were as nervous as I was about that day. None of us had planned on me being back in England anytime soon, but there I was anyway. I suppose I should thank Adrien for continually attracting scandal and, therefore, needing me to distract the media from his wild American adventures.

In May, soon after my sister had returned to her previous insane schedule of ice skating training, there was a report from TMZ, of all places, that Prince Adrien of Savoy was now dating Sienna Lapa, a wannabe singer who’d come in second in X Factor a few years prior. This, we came to find out after asking Adrien what was happening, was the friend who had helped him find an apartment in New York when he decided to relocate there.

My parents and Adrien’s mother deemed it a ‘completely inappropriate choice’. Adrien’s sister, Natalie, seemed to be trying to keep an open mind -- she was and had always been her brother’s biggest defender, after all. Lourdes immediately pulled up all the videos from her X Factor journey to show anyone who’d listen, but that only made our family hate the girl more, as most of her performances involved her with too much energy and very few clothes.

“You can all be so close minded…” my sister complained, rolling her eyes, as Natalie watched the video over her shoulder with furrowed brows when she and our aunt came over for tea after the news broke. “We’re just looking out for him.” Our cousin told her. “So you’re on their side now?” Lourdes asked her. Natalie shrugged, defensive. “I think if Adrien likes her, she must be nice.” Her mother scoffed. “We all know your brother’s record with women is not stellar, chérie.” “He dated Faye!” “Exactly.” My father sentenced. “Maggie, what do you think?” Natalie asked.

As they all looked at me, expectantly, I took a moment to ponder how much this had been happening lately. I had been used to speaking softly before, to remarking carefully on things, in case someone would hear me. But as the Crown Princess, my opinion mattered in more ways than I had immediately realized. It wasn’t just the press that suddenly cared about me, my family, too, seemed more invested in my thoughts. As if my verdict could make or break anything within the family just because I was bound to be queen one day.

“I… I don’t think being an artist should mean she will inevitably ruin this family.” I said. My mother shook her head, and my Aunt sighed, but nobody disagreed.

After tea, my father asked me to stay behind as the others left, and sat me down to remind me, sternly, that being the heir – and, one day, the Monarch –, meant it was my duty to safeguard our family from anyone who, purposefully or not, my damage it.

“You think this girl will damage us?” I asked, suppressing an eyeroll. “Papa, she’s just a girl.” “She’s American. They don’t understand monarchies.” He replied. “Not to mention she belongs to an industry that thrives on scandal and notoriety, things that do not have a place in this family.” “We don’t even know her!” I said, smiling, amused against my better judgement. “We know she wants fame.” He replied, seriously. “That doesn’t have a place here.” “We don’t even know if it’s true.” I argued.

Unfortunately, it was. I texted Adrien after this conversation, and he was as frustrated as we were, but for other reasons. ‘Its so new’, he said, ‘we just wanted to enjoy each other before inviting the whole world into it and now here we are’.

According to him, it ‘just happened’. They’d been friends for a long time, she was really supportive after his breakup and helped him adapt to New York. He moved into the same building she lives in, and they started spending more time together; before they knew it, it was more than friendship.

He also made clear he knew perfectly well how unsuitable the relationship was: ‘she’s been trying to establish her music career for a long time, so her future lies in America’, he said. ‘She also has pink hair and a lot of tattoos… can you even imagine her in mass with the rest of the family?’

I could not.

The world couldn’t, either. Press and public alike had a lot of opinions on this relationship, which became everything anyone could talk about. It wasn’t just me that gained notoriety with Louis’ death, Adrien did, too, and, with him, any girl he could one day turn into a princess.

And that was the main reason I was sent to England. An invitation for Royal Ascot was issued every year to our family, we tended not to go simply because it was far and we had other commitments. But we needed to change the conversation, so if it took putting me under a hat and in the same picture as the British royals, so be it.

I could see my parents’ tension about this plan in the way they exchanged silent glances while we talked it through, but they didn’t voice any of it. Of course, they couldn’t. Not if they wanted me to do as I was told. So, they didn’t mention Harry, and I didn’t bring him up, either.

Regardless of this, he was very much in my thoughts essentially 100% of the time, even before the Ascot plan was born. All I had to do was just keep that to myself and, if my parents did the same, we could hopefully hold onto the lie that the issue was over.

So, on that day in mid-June, I took the train early with Cadie and Auguste and my security, headed to England, with a fancy outfit safely packed away in a weekend bag, which I changed into before we arrived.

I was wearing a salmon pink, wide-legged jumpsuit that my mother had deemed ‘too modern’, with my hair styled in vintage waves under a flowery disc fascinator.

The Royal Ascot races were a society event, with the actual races taking a backseat to… pretty much everything else: the fashion, the high profile guests, the arrival of the queen and royal family later on… honestly, it was everything but horses.

As a guest, I didn’t arrive with the other royals in a very much televised carriage ride into the main front lawn, and I was glad to be able to skip it, hoping I might be able to go straight to the viewing area, free of press. Unfortunately, that was the opposite of the goal.

So, even though I arrived privately, I was then escorted to the entry lawn for socializing before the race started. Though Cadie didn’t seem to think it was necessary – which I tended to agree with –, Auguste made sure to find me a pin with my name on it, a must-wear for every guest no matter how high ranked.

“A drink would be actually helpful.” I told them. “Not until the enclosure, I’m afraid.” Cadie replied. Auguste leaned in closer. “Though my colleague may have a different view, ma’am, I feel being seen with alcohol might not be the best course of action for what we’re here to do.” “Boss.” Cadie whispered his way, rispid. “I’m your boss, Mr. Authier. Not colleague.” “Is it appropriate to discuss that at this time, boss?”

I sighed, walking further away from them and into the crowded, sun soaked lawn. One thing I hadn’t grown used to yet was the looks. Every step taken through a public area, particularly one with such a high concentration of high class people, was the target of laser focused glances from almost anyone around. I was forced to develop the ability of confidently aiming my eyes at something abstract, so I was seen as being busy, but didn’t accidentally lock eyes with anyone. It was a perfect recipe for disaster. Which is why I should have expected it.

I didn’t bump into him, that kind of thing didn’t happen at highly planned events like this, especially when you had a large entourage of people with you whose job it was to make sure you went to the right place at the right time to meet the right people. It was more accurate to say our eyes bumped into each other.

There I was, walking slowly through the crowd, avoiding one pair of eyes after the other. First using the far away stands as a distraction point. Then using the awkwardly placed decorative flowers as a distraction point. Which led to using the one very weird hat as a distraction point, as its owner was standing right next to it. But then the hat was so weird I had to see the face of the person wearing it, but she was already looking at me, so I felt awkward and looked away as quickly as possible and, in my hurry, didn’t think too much about it, so instead of a safe distraction point, my eyes found… Harry.

“Ma’am,” Cadie leaned closer, “shall we go greet the president of the Ascot association?” “What? I–” I stuttered, barely able to take my eyes off of Harry. “Sure.”

Heaving a sigh, I allowed myself to be walked around to meet the people it was important for me to meet, doing what I had been doing every day since the last time I had seen him: smiling politely, making smart, appropriate conversation, representing an entire country. All things that were painful reminders of what kept us apart.

I woke up early, I worked hard every day to hold myself accountable to my new role, keeping busy the best I could, but every night when I closed my eyes to sleep, it was his eyes that I saw. It was his voice saying ‘don’t marry him’, the tap of his hand on mine above his heart as he told me ‘it’s yours’, and every time I thought about it my whole body shivered with joy and I wanted to cry of frustration, sadness and anger that I couldn’t just embrace something that was meant to just be a happy thing.

“Yes, my parents were so sad they couldn’t make it.” I told a trustee of the event, sustaining a neutral smile as though my entire body wasn’t shaking.

Sometimes, hypocritically, I wondered why Harry hadn’t reached out, either. I knew, rationally, that it was better that he didn’t, but he had made a point of saying he didn’t have to listen to his advisors when they told him to stay away from me, but he had. Whenever I started to feel sad about this, I reminded myself it was better this way. Safer. Healthier. Then I googled him to make sure he wasn’t dating anyone new, ‘just in case.’

But now there he was, in Ascot. Because of course of the five days of this event we would both go to the same one, believing differently was something only my parents did to help them sleep at night. On my end, I knew it was going to be this way.

It’s like I was fated to always run into him after weeks or months of absence, just to remind my heart of what it was leaving behind. Destined to try and forget him just to see him again, the man I could see, but not feel. Love, but not have. At arm's length, but worlds away.

As I turned away from the U.N. Ambassador, assuring him I would transmit his best wishes to my parents, I startled.

“Harry.” He startled, too; looked me up and down, closed his eyes in frustration, and sighed. “Damn, Mary, really?” He asked, sounding tired. “Wh-what?!” I asked, nervously, drying my sweaty palms in the pants of my jumpsuit. I’d been nervous all day they were a choice too ‘out there’. “Where do you find the audacity to look this beautiful?!” He asked, seriously.

It took me maybe two seconds to understand this flattery, and that he wasn’t actually criticizing my fashion choices, and when I did I was washed by such a deep wave of relief I was almost angry.

“Seriously?!” I slapped my handbag playfully against his arms, rolling my eyes, and turned away to walk into the building, leaving him as well as my team to catch up. “What?! It was a compliment!” He said, hurrying after me, suppressing a chuckle. I was smiling in spite of myself. “Maybe, but your tone was very misleading.” He smiled. “I apologize about my tone, Mary. May I try again?” I blinked, slowly, grinning now, and he went on. “You look beautiful.”

His second attempt was all that it shouldn’t have been: intense, yearning, full of a double meaning only we seemed to hear.

Bashfully, I gulped. “Thank you… I wish I could say the same.” “Ouch?” He laughed, taking a step back. “It’s not your fault, coats and tails is just not flattering on anyone.” “Well, that’s it.” He took off his hat and immediately started unbuttoning his vest. “What are you doing?” I asked, laughing. “I will go naked before I let you see me in something unflattering.” I took one step closer and stopped his hands with mine. “Oh, my God.” I said, looking around. “Stop!”

The main building was guests only, no press, so we were pretty safe there. But there were still guests around.

“What? You started it.” He chuckled but, at least for now, stopped undressing himself. Someone behind him cleared his throat. “Sir, you should probably button up before we go upstairs.” Harry nodded, serious. “Of course. Thank you, Edward.” He subtly buttoned his shirt while I looked around; some people had their eyes on us, but nothing too out of ordinary. “My secretary.” He explained. “Trying to keep me from trouble is literally his job, so I try to listen to him sometimes, throw him a bone, you know how it is.” “I hope you pay him enough.” I told him, teasing. “Sounds like an impossible mission.” “Touché.” Harry giggled, the sight making my stomach flutter.

We exchanged a long look, the whisper of our smiles still holding on to our lips dreamily.  

“So, how have you been?” He asked, clasping his hands behind his back. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Good. Well. Merci.” I nodded. “You?” “Awful, thanks for asking.” He smiled, so it was tough to know if he meant it or not. “Oh?” “Nothing that we can fix, I’m afraid.” He shrugged. “Should I escort you upstairs?” “Oh. Uhm. Sure.”

He led the way to the elevators, our team right behind us. With our security, we crowded one elevator with no room for anyone else. Though this was a pretty safe environment, I didn’t feel safe enough to inquire about what he meant.

“So, how’s Lourdes?” He asked, upbeat. “Pretty good.” I said, nodding. “She’s skating again.” “Nice!” He broke into such a huge smile it was hard not to smile as well. “I want to see her skating, do you have any videos?” “More than I need.” I rolled my eyes. “I’ll–”

I was about to say I’d send him some, when I stopped myself.

“You have her number, right? You should ask her, trust me, she’ll be delighted. She loves showing her routines to people.” He nodded, “I will.”

Though it was a very big building, the elevator stopped on every floor, where both our security alerted people it was crowded before the doors closed again. We were headed to the last, highest floor, the Royal Enclosure, which was the best viewing point for the races. It was also highly exclusive and invite only, and a person could online invite someone else after attending for four years. Divorcées weren’t even allowed in until 1955.

So the elevator ride took a long minute, which may be what gave me the courage to surrender and lean in closer to him to ask:

“Truth or dare?” He smiled to the ground, biting his lower lip, but leaned in to me as well and whispered, “Dare.” Smiling in return, only slightly annoyed I’d have to wait to ask why he said he’d been ‘awful’, I went through my head for a good dare idea. “Let’s see….” “May I remind you we are in a very public, heavily press-present event?” He whispered, still close. “Sounds like something you should have thought of before choosing dare.” I shrugged, whispering back. “Okay… get someone in this elevator to slap you.” He leaned back. “What?!” “Go on.” “How?” “I don’t know.” “Mary… I–” He sighed, looking around. His eyes paused on every person present, my staff, his staff, the security… and then it paused on the tall, slender man who he had referred to as his secretary before. “Hey, Edward, I need a favor.” “Yes, sir?” The man replied, while I suppressed a giggle. “Slap me.” The whole group looked at them for a moment, before looking away, pretending not to be overhearing. “S-sir?” “It’s not a big deal, just slap me. It doesn’t need to be strong.” Harry insisted. “Sir, I–I don’t understand!” “It’s a long story,” Harry lied, “I’ll explain later, but I need you to slap me now. Go on, I promise I won’t mind.” I bit my lip strongly to stop myself from laughing. Edward looked truly concerned, and Harry sounded increasingly more desperate. “Harry, no!” Edward said, shaking his head.

The elevator stopped in place with a melodic ‘ding’, and Harry sighed as the others filed out before us – Edward leading the way.

“Any chance you’ll slap me?” He asked, making me laugh. “Ask me again later.” I said, walking out. “But then I’ll have already lost.” He lamented. “Well, then you’ll have to live with the defeat.” He groaned, following me to a table of drinks and appetizers. There were no cameras in this enclosure, and no one else I had to be formally introduced to. As I didn’t know anyone else, this left me free to grab a drink and something to eat.

Harry, however, waved a quick hello to a handful of people as soon as we walked into the room, but continued to follow me.

“Okay, rematch.” He started. “Give me another dare, I must redeem my honor.” “God, men… it must be so exhausting feeling you have to prove yourself constantly.” He grinned. “We both know you’re judging me for not doing a dare. Go on, give me another one.” I giggled, and sighed. “Alright, remember you insisted… I dare you to…” I thought about it deeply, looking around.

There was a couple of girls a few meters away looking at us – more particularly, at him – with jealousy and desire in their eyes. I smiled in spite of myself, feeling oddly powerful.

“To improvise a poem.” He looked so confused it made me smile again. “A poem? Like, like poetry?” “Yes.” I nodded. “Take your time.”

As I took a sip of my sparkling wine, he put his hands in his pockets, looking around. I could see his mouth silently moving as he talked quietly with himself. It was an amusing sight, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice how handsome he looked deep in thought like this.

“Okay.” He nodded, seriously, approaching.

He removed his hat, brushed his hair to the side with his hand and stood unnervingly close to me.

“You're a vision in pink, I might need a drink…” He risked a look at me, but his cheeks were reddening, so he looked away again. “And I might pass out, if you gave me a wink…” I tried to suppress a giggle, as I thought any sudden movements might dissuade him from this dare. “Every day I remember, when the leaves were ember… In blue, you breezed through… your skin, warm and tender, In all of your splendor…” he looked at me again, still pink in the cheeks, but with renowned intensity in his eyes, “Waking up with me, your legs between my knees. I woke up desperate to please, and tease, with ease…”

His eyes locked on mine, intense, he recovered his color just as I felt my cheeks heaten up. He said each word slowly now, over-enunciating double meaning into each syllable.

“And squeeze, your hills, give you chills, thrills, until… Your daisy became daffodils… Asleep and awake, three days of bliss, give and take… Slow, sweet, fast or rough. Forever wouldn't be enough.”

His eyes hovered over my face, slowly lowering towards my lips, pausing there for the longest minute as I felt breathless. To the silence, I realized it was over, and struggled to think of something teasing, light-hearted enough to say to this. How to hide the way his voice – his words – made me feel?

I bit down an embarrassed grin thinking of his words. Walking in wearing blue when the leaves were ember? That was when we met last fall. Waking up with my legs between his knees? When I ran away to his home and we slept in the same bed. ‘Squeeze your hills, give you thrills, slow, fast, or rough, forever wouldn’t be enough’? That, that was… an alternate reality that felt the more tempting the more he continued to look at me.

“I don’t want to break the moment, because I feel there’s a moment here… but that was really good, right?” He asked, sounding honestly shocked.

It made me laugh out loud.

“Oh, my God, did I… write that?” He added, looking around, seemingly astonished with himself. “Did I maybe hear this somewhere? Did I accidentally plagiarized someone?” Laughing, I held on to his arm to steady myself. “Honestly, it was very good.” I managed to say. “I know! It was incredible!” “I mean, it started just okay… but it got… really interesting in the end.” “Interesting?! I think I’m a poetry miracle!”

I laughed again; throwing my head back, I had to hold on to my hat so it stayed in place.

“I need a pen and paper to write that all down before I forget it!” he added, patting his pockets. “Oh, my God, shut up.” I begged, still laughing. “Alright, alright…” He smiled. “My turn. Truth or dare?” I sighed, “Dare.” He grinned, surprised. “Oh, wow. Okay… I dare you to…” He considered it for a few seconds, looking around the room.

Silently, he grabbed my half-drank wine glass and moved to the drinks. He picked a bottle of whisky, and poured some into my glass.

“Hey!” I protested.

He did the same with the scotch, the vodka, the mango liquor, and every other bottle in the table until my glass was almost full to the brim.

“I dare you.” He said, handing me the glass. “Are you s–? This is so unoriginal.” “Just drink it.” He grinned. I smelled the contents of the glass, which smelled oddly of citric coca cola, and took a quick sip. “Oh, my God.” I complained, trying to remind myself not to yell in disgust. “You can do better, come on.” “No, I think this is enough.” “What? You drank nothing!” “Yes, but you never said I had to drink a lot, just that I had to drink.” I shrugged. He closed his eyes, and smiled, annoyed. “Wow. Such a lawyer.” I laughed. “My turn.” “Fine. Truth.” He said, rolling his eyes. I gulped, placed the disgusting concoction in my glass back on the table, but kept the smile in my lips as I asked, “Why did you say you were awful before?” His smile faltered. “Oh. You know…” He shrugged, nonchalant. “No, Harry… I don’t.” I said, softly. He avoided my eyes, but his lips sustained a humorless, emotionless smile. He took in a long breath, and looked at me. “Do you maybe have another question?” “What? No. Harry…” I shook my head, confused. “That’s the question.” He sighed. “It’s just work.” “Work?” “Yes, Marie. Work. I have a lot to do to get Invictus ready for September…” “Okay. Is that all it is? Because your tone says differently.” Still smiling coldly, he looked around, and brushed a hand through his hair, nervously. “Speaking of work, how’s your work?” He asked. “Is royal work as an heir any different?” “Harry.” I insisted, seriously, now feeling my heart beating increasingly heavier in my chest.

Finally, something snapped. He bit his lip, avoiding my eyes, then closed his eyes, muttered ‘hallway’, and walked off without affording me a second glance.

Chilled to the bone, I waited a couple of seconds before following him out, strategically avoiding Cadie and Auguste’s worried glances from nearby.

We walked out of the enclosure to the elevator hallway. It was emptier now than when we had come in, but still had a couple of people in it. So Harry passed them towards other doors, where it was emptier.

He stopped by a window, hands in his pocket, and heaved a sigh, brows creased, eyes pained. My heart ached just to watch him.

“Look, I–” He started, avoiding my eyes still. “I…” He laughed, humorless still. “Harry,” I tried, softly, “you’re worrying me.”

He closed his eyes, painfully. After a couple of seconds he opened them and stared right into mine. When our blues connected, I felt again that old chill down my spine; that feeling of being seen for all I was, that chill of knowing there was a lot being said, even if we weren’t speaking.

“Work is hard, yes, but–” He licked his lips, pausing. “I can handle it. What makes it harder, though, is that I can’t go very long without thinking about you.” I gulped. “W-what?” He smiled, a little more honestly now. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Mary. I know that sucks to hear. I just…” He sighed, heavily, and took a step closer to me. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” Feeling my stomach do a cartwheel inside, I gulped. “I… W-what?!” His smile grew now, amused. “I look around my house, and all I can think is I miss having you there. I miss waking up with you, cooking with you, talking with you all day long...” He took another step closer, now in a way where his smell was all I could breathe; still the same citric L'Occitane smell I could never forget. “I think about you every time I open my bathroom cabinet and see the toothbrush you forgot.” He shrugged. “It’s pathetic. And even now as I say it, I know it’s pointless. I know just looking at you that it’s a lost cause. And it’s not your fault, even if sometimes I wish it were. It might be easier if I had a reason to be angry at you… But you didn’t ask for this. Neither did I. I just…” he shrugged. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” I sighed, breathless. “Harry. I…” “I know.” He nodded, staring at the ground. “I understand better than most. You have a duty. You have rules to follow and a huge number of people around ready to remind you why this would be a terrible idea, and I get it. I have the same. Lower stakes, maybe, but I do, and I hate it.” He smiled, in a sad, desperate way; eyes full of yearning as they looked at me. “The truth is I think about that kiss every day.” He whispered, gently. “The truth is I think about that date we never had every day, and about everything that could have been different… The truth…” He sighed, longingly. “The truth is I think I’m falling in love with you.”

My mind was both completely blank and going a thousand miles an hour. I felt my hands… shaken. My legs felt weak. I thought of Louis’ funeral again, of trying to kiss him at the worst of times, of how much it hurt when he pulled away, of when he told he didn’t want to be something I might regret.

I remembered sleeping with Chris right after, getting back together with him without even realizing it. Of the proposal and the yelling and the months of headlines about it.

If my brother was still here, Harry and I might have been just a complicated, unique love story. But he wasn’t, and because of that everything was such a mess. I was such a mess.

And yet, here he was: loving me anyway. In spite of it all. What was the universe thinking?

“Maggie?”

My fragile, already shaken up heart went cold. I looked back to find…

“Christopher?

--- ---- ---

Royal Ascot Outfit

[A/N: I know what you’re thinking, ‘how dare you not post for 2 weeks and then leave us with a cliff hanger????’. Guys, I’m SORRY! In my defence, 2020 was a hell of a year, I had to move, the holidays were a lot, I had a guest over, and I GOT A DOG! So...........a lot has happened! But things should calm down now, so I promise to try my hardest so this doesnt happen again! Spoilers: the story is going into its next phase! Secret-relationship-angst kind of next phase. But anyway, enough about me... how have YOU been? Tell me all about it, oh and also your thoughts on the chapter? hopes for the next ones? notes? criticisms? I’ll take it all! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND STICKING WITH ME AND FOR YOUR PATIENCE! PS: Lola, my fur child, is a 2 years old rescue, loves munching ice and guilting me into petting her instead of writing/working. I also accidentally scard her out of going to the bathroom where shes supposed to so now I’m slowly moving a pet-mat through the apartment back there. Tips? LOVE YOU HAVE A GOOD WEEK! BYE!

PS 2: I PROMISE I’LL COMPRISE ALL THE CHAPTERS INTO A MASTERPOST LIKE ONE OF YOU ASKED ME TO, I JUST NEED TO FIND THE TIME BUT I WILL! Thanks for the suggestion <3 ]