#anyway just went to see the orchestra i want to join perform and they already have (at least) two double basses so maybe they wont want me

[idontknowiknow]

Hate when several disorganised uncommunicative people have to organise and communicate together and then do a bad job and everybody makes each other feel bad

[berlinini]

Clem's Tour Commentary: Vancouver (y/n edition aka my show)

Sooooo!!! Last May I was lucky enough to get tickets for the Vancouver show, which wasn't sold out at the time, and Portland 2, which had just been announced. I love Vancouver so I thought I'd visit once again. Having heard of the city of Portland, and especially because of the venue (one of the smallest of the tour, with GA), I thought let's do both! I ended up buying tickets to LA and so for months I have been thinking about what I called Clem's West Coast Tour 2022. This has been a simple way to explain to friends and family the reason of my trip - and get concerned looks at the idea that I was seeing the same artist 3 times, to which I wanted to say... bestie I'll have seen the show 20 times before I even set foot in the first venue...!!! I know the show by heart at this point! Anyways.

All of this to say, you can imagine the anticipation of finally seeing Louis live myself, especially after witnessing his performances over livestreams for the last 5 weeks, and after months of waiting and incertitude!

As usual, I wrote a full length novel about my experience, so each show will have its own post. Recap under the cut! :)

VANCOUVER

Pre-Show

The show was on Sunday night and I started feeling jittery on Saturday. I went to check out the venue, unfortunately Louis' name wasn't on the marquee. Sunday around noon I went around the artist's entrance and fans were already lining up to see Louis arrive. I spent the rest of the day being a mess. The show was an all seated venue, which I loved because I found it less stressful, and thought it would be as good as Nashville. Oh! And by the power of the Louie God, I had the chance to exchange my balcony tickets for better seats in the orchestra, in ROW 28 so!!! It was a blessed event! Even more so because Louis showed up at the venue in PURPLE???? Very truly blessed!

Me and my excellent solo louie companion @bbrox arrived around 7:30pm, and lined up in the short line (there were two lines because there are two entries to the venue). Upon entering (at 8, so we knew the show would be delayed), we saw that the lines for the merch stands were a literal maze going up and down the stairs, it was insane!!! The venue was SO beautiful, a palace fit for a King. We got drinks, which was funny because I got carded (being confused for a 19 yo is always nice) and my mind was elsewhere so after that I took my drinks and started leaving and they were like... girl you have to pay! That gives you an idea of my state of mind! We renounced getting merch and decided to join our seats. Row 28 baby!!! It was the last row, right in front of some of the sound consoles. We did a little visit of the front of the stage, where people were taking pics. You could feel how everyone was so excited! Sun Room was nice, and the girls in front of us were apparent fans and it was very cute to see. During the break @captainlouisuniverse (which I sadly didn't get to meet :\) texted me to say that if you payed cash at the merch counter you could go quicker. So we jumped on the opportunity and cut the queue (sorry not sorry). I got the white tour t-shirt (with the eye!!!). Also, I asked the venue lady if they were handing out water and she was like...well you have to pay for it?! and honestly I'm suing LTHQ for discrimination against Canadians fans...

It's Showtime!!!

I was SO nervous when Smells Like Teen Spirit started playing and we KNEW the guys would get on stage, we KNEW the drums to WMI were coming up and we knew LOUIS was coming up!!! To paraphrase Louis, one year of built up energy!!! The atmosphere in the room was crazy, Louis showed up wearing all black (so sexy of him!!!) and honestly from that it's just a blur of emotions...

Compared to Portland show (more on that later), I have a hard time describing how Vancouver felt. I hardly remember stuff... (ok this 1 000 words post is saying otherwise) Maybe because it was too intense on a emotional level, maybe it's because I wasn't as close to the stage... It's gonna sound weird but I was so focused on myself during that show and on the communal experience in the room. It really felt like we were sharing a moment, after such a long time waiting. When I think about it there was Louis singing, me singing with Louis, and the awesome atmosphere. I was just living the moment and I honestly felt like I deserved to have this moment of pure joy considering how bleak life has been for the last two years.

And the way I experienced the show was so different from watching it online - I didn't care to find out what brand Louis was wearing, I didn't care to rate the crowd, I wasn't focusing on Louis reacting to fan signs, hell I hardly looked at the guys (except Michael). I wasn't trying to take pictures (RIP my iPhone XR's shitty lense) or get Louis' attention, I just wanted to have a good time and give him a good time. The crowd was good and all the fandom drama was far away - we were there and we were happy, and so was Louis and the band. The songs just kept on coming, with the rush of OMG THIS IS XYZ!!! and before you knew it, we were losing our minds to KMM and it was over.

I had so much energy singing and jumping around and yeah one thing about me is that I scream a lot at concerts (RIP the people standing besides me), so I did that. I screamed. A lot. I had no voice at the end of the show... I was so hot, thank God I was wearing layers but my fleece-lined platform Converse were very uncomfortable. Suddenly I understood the fans fainting in the pit - at least we had room to move around.

My (almost) enemies to lovers story with Matt Vines:

Ever since being in Vancouver at the same time as Louis and his band but especially ever since knowing me and Michael had walked the same street on the same day, my mind was going overdrive with some y/n fantasies, which became a running gag among some of you here (I love you all). It wouldn't be the first time in this fandom that fans think they're in a fanfic, however I'm not dumb enough to think Louis will invite me on his tour bus so I had placed all my hopes (delusions) on Michael, because... well you know why. So that was the joke. Alas, if someone noticed me (even that...) from that night it was... Matt Vines.

Matt was standing behind us, a little bit to my left, in between the sound consoles. He was there almost the whole time, on his phone for a good part. I know because I looked at him a few times, since @silverfoxlou had given me the order to give him a stinky eye if I ever saw him. So I sent him bad energy. So what happened for me to say he noticed me? Well bestie don't believe anything you read on tumblr dot com especially dodgy fan reports because nothing concrete happened LOL. But I was so close to him and as I said I screamed so much, jumped so much, that there's no way Matt didn't at least looked at me once and thought: who is that crazy chick with her wannabe Ariana Grande ponytail and her bouncing cross-body bag and who's wearing awesome Converses (ok there's no way he saw my shoes). Dreams do come true!!!! If anything I hope he saw me going hard on the non-1D songs and I set a good example of solo fans (as if that was written on my forehead lol - though my attitude during Habit probably gave a clue). Anyways, fuck you Matt I still hate you.

Some honorary mentions of the show (the bits that I recall):

The lights during Two Of Us: this was not a fan project, it just happened organically? Not to brag (but I will) but I was one of the first to put my torch out, it just seemed like it fit with the emotion of the song? I'm glad we had that <3

There was a fan project for the rainbow lights for OTB . We didn't have a lot of flags (some will say we were homophobic for that), but it was still a very emotional moment. I haven't seen what the rainbow lights looked like - that's what happens when you're at the back of the venue... Also, it's interesting to see how the perspective is different being live vs being "front row" via a stream.

We did the lights for Beautiful War as demanded asked by Louis. That song always makes me tear up and hearing it live, I feel so lucky. Just thinking about this makes me emotional.

Louis messed up Walls (video) which I didn't realize because unfortunately I always forget Walls #dontcancelme. I'm so glad we got to scream YOU WERE MY BECAUSE to him twice!!! It was so awesome!

This was me when Habit rolled on. I boycotted the song and kept my mouth shut, yes I'm petty. I hope Matt caught that.

When the drums to 7 started playing I was going INSANE. Unfortunately the crowd wasn't that much into it but me and my bestie went 110% on it, I was out of breath at the end, it was everything I ever dreamed off. I had a slight obsession with that song last summer, so seeing it live was a real #wemadeit moment.

I had this urge to scream "Michael you're so hot" because... why not... but didn't want to be disrespectful, so finding the right time felt tricky, but luckily I saw an opening during the band pic break. Around 0:35 in this video if you squint really hard you can almost hear it? God I wish I had been closer or had a louder voice. Anyways I hope he heard me <3 If anything Matt definitely did so I count that as a win in the things he's gonna tell Louis and Michael about me because he totally noticed me and talked about and this is my y/n moment

OK but talking about Michael being hot... He's insanely talented and the way he works that guitar during 7, LBD, is sooooo hot!!! He's just out there manspreading like a king while a whole venue is screaming for him, go little rock star!!! I'm also "manspreading" thinking about it but for different reasons

Fearless: I've been saying for months that hearing Fearless live would cure me and boy did it work!!! It's so good!!! I still have the reflex of singing "enjoy this Crystal Palace" (lol) I hope Louis would give us a "enjoy this (name of city)", because it's the perfect introduction - he know... he knows.

Defenseless and Always You are so good, fuck the person at Sony who didn't make at least one of them a single, because you can tell these are bops that the crowd loves. It was awesome to sing "it's been two years since I saw your face" and "just wanna be loved by YOU" to Louis, the way he reclaimed those songs, go off my love.

The energy for KMM was insane (video), it's such a good way to end the show, but it's also so bittersweet? The high is insane and then you're left to yourself, with the inevitable realization that it's over... :(

See @seasurfacefullofclouds1's wonderful highlight post about the show here.

Post Show:

In true Groupie Fashion™️, and because we couldn't handle the show being over over, we waited outside to see Louis getting on the bus. We spotted Oli going back and forth several times, Kyrstle and Jessie (to whom I sent bad vibes) going on the other bus, Isaac, Zak and Matt getting on the bus together.

Then LOUIS!!! The King of England! God I can't believe he was there, right across the street from me (video). He got in pretty quick and then sat at the window like the annoying little shit that he is, just being there and basking in the attention (Michael's that is). I truly wondered how it must be like for him...Like there is no reason for him to have that window open (except for when he smoked)?? He's just a superstar. The crowd was shouting "Louis we love you" and because I had to balance my karma from my 'Michael you're so hot' shout out, I yelled at least two times "you're so pretty" because Louis needs to know it and also I love to objectify men.

Michael arrived late, by himself, with his huge backpack, which is one of the things I considered worthy of my camera roll. I have 3 blurry pics to prove it.

JD and Wolsey were stellar in their crowd management, especially because it was a busy street with a lot of cars (and trams - we were joking that the tram would block Louis from our view when he got out, à la Walls mural van). At some point the fans shouted some praise for JD and Wolsey and Joshua was filming and it made a little bit of a commotion, thus prompting Louis to curiously put his head out... Drama queen!

Joshua was hanging out a bit outside the bus, taking pics from under the window. Charlie was really doing the rounds, he was so close to me, I almost started chatting him up about dinners in Portland. Instead I made sure my mask was all up so I wouldn't be recognizable if I ever make it in that damn documentary he's making (another 18 months before I find out, another y/n moment wow I'm so lucky).

Post-Show: the Crowd/ Fandom stuff (anecdotal notes that you can skip if you're tired of reading this essay):

The crowd waiting outside was interesting. They started singing No Control - it was inevitable... but luckily it was the first time of the night, since we didn't get it during the show break. The problem with my brain is that I just start singing songs without realizing what they are - I'm on automatic mode. I truly thought we were singing Miss You before I realized it was NC... RIP. They also sang Home, WMYB and later Perfect Now (cute). At some point the singing got drowned by shout of 'we love you', which was nice.

In waiting we chatted a bit with the girls close to us and this hilarious (to me) interaction happened, when Louis was still inside and someone rolled out a box:

Girl: OMG maybe he's pulling a Harry and he's hiding in that box LOL

Me, turning around: excuse me? Céline was doing that first

Other girl: yeah I was going to say Taylor did it before Harry

Me: Sorry. Céline Dion.

Don't disrespect the queen like this UGH.

Also some fans were acting like the fandom police telling other what to do/ not to cross the street and I rolled my eyes to far back into my skull. Can we not? It's not your job so please stay in your lane.

Anyways, it was fun to wait out for Louis and see him, and I could already picture the gifs I would see on tumblr the day after of his adorable face out the window. It was a bit strange to think about how the show would be "perceived" and brought me back to fans who've been saying that livestreams don't do justice. I know it was a good show but at the same time I truly didn't give a damn about how people on tumblr and twitter had reacted - I had a good time, we had a good time. Louis sounded amazing, the crowd was loud and supportive, it's all that matters!

I feel like this was all over the place... thanks for keeping up with my Thoughts™️

TLDR: I fucking love Louis Tomlinson.

PS: for another recap of the night you can read @bbrox's post here

[phoenixes-and-wizards]

tua headcanon (vanya’s first concert after the apocalypse):

despite being an amazing violinist, vanya’s still a bit shy about performing in front of her family, mostly because--aside from five--she’s never done it before and partly because the last time she did it, she sucked the life out of four of them with energy tentacles and caused the end of the world. you know--just musician things

when she does land a solo, she takes extra care not to tell a single soul, only practicing when they’re nowhere nearby and never the same passage twice so they don’t realize just why she’s been rehearsing so much lately

they find out anyway when one day, diego does some small-time vigilantism in an alley behind the icarus theater and finds a poster advertising VANYA HARGREEVES PERFORMS SIBELIUS, MAY 21ST AT 8PM

he tells luther who tells allison who tells klaus who tells five and ben. they don’t breathe a single word of it to vanya, and all of them spend the next twenty minutes convincing the ticket seller to spare six tickets, despite the show having sold out a month ago

luther folds as soon as the man tells him “no" so diego plucks the phone from his fingers and says "you're hopeless" in an exasperatedly fond tone

ben practically has to wrestle the phone away from diego and five once it’s clear their "polite" bargaining won’t work 

”he’s not gonna listen to you if you keep threatening to chop his fingers off!!!!!” “oH YEAH???? THEN I’M GONNA MAKE HIM--GIMME THAT PHONE BENJAMIN I’M NOT DONE DONT YOU DARE LET THAT TENTACLE COME ANYWHERE NEAR ME”

in the end, allison saves the day, as always. no rumoring, of course; just plain “hi, i’m allison hargreeves and--yes, i’m the lawyer in that movie, of course i’ll sign an autograph for you after the show. could we pick up our tickets tomorrow? four o’clock? that’d be great, jim. oh, can i call you jim? excellent.” 

she walks away with a cocky smirk while diego mutters “show-off” under his breath, but he says it fondly enough that she lets it slide

ben spends the week leading up to the concert reading about sibelius’ life and the inspiration for his only violin concerto. on some afternoons, five joins him, being the only other member of the family who actually listens to classical music

diego starts leaving dinner in the kitchen for vanya on the nights when she has to rehearse with her orchestra, and klaus drags ben to the mall one day to look for something that’ll help with vanya’s peeling calluses

luther brushes up on classical concert etiquette, making extra sure to tell his siblings not to clap after a movement ends and to give their sister a standing ovation

(”as if we wouldn’t have already. she’s brilliant,” five assures him)

allison takes them all shopping for suits and to her surprise, none of them grumble because they’re all doing it for vanya and they’ve got thirty-two years of missed concerts and recitals to make up for

on the day itself, ben ‘accidentally’ makes too much bacon and eggs and blueberry pancakes, and he loads most of it onto vanya’s plate so she’ll have enough energy to power through all three movements of her concerto tonight. vanya’s so nervous that she doesn’t even notice

when she leaves around noon, violin case on her shoulders, they all file into allison’s room and start getting changed

vanya’s nervous as fuck of course, and fifteen minutes before she goes on, she starts regretting the fact that she never told them, it would’ve been nice to have familiar faces in the audience, but hey she’s here now and she’ll simply play the best she can because damn it she’s earned it and worked too hard on this entire thing for her to chicken out now

when she steps out, she actually thinks she’s seeing things when she spots all six of her siblings sitting in the front row, wearing the largest shit-eating grins she’s ever seen in her life

out of the corner for her eye, she sees klaus giving her two thumbs-up and mouthing “you got this” as she tunes, and it’s more than enough to make her relax completely

vanya takes a deep breath, and as soon as she starts with that familiar “sol-la-re” motif, the entire audience--her family included--is captivated 

halfway through the first movement’s cadenza, ben turns to luther and whispers “how come we never went before? she’s incredible” and five’s face hardens when he replies with “because dad never let us”

diego actually sheds a tear during the second movement; allison subtly passes him a tissue, her own dark eyes damp with emotion

they’re all at the edge of their seats when vanya starts the third movement, it’s brisk tempo and syncopation more than enough to catch their attention

there’s a brief moment where vanya drops her bow and--to an outside viewer--miraculously catches it right before it falls, but her siblings see the way her eyes pulse white for a second as she levitates the bow back into her hand and resumes playing as if nothing happened, and they all trade knowing smiles afterwards

when she finally plays the final note, the audience simply lets it ring throughout the hall for a few seconds before they’re on their feet

even so, she can hear her family’s voices above the din and they look so proud and allison is crying happy tears, diego shouting “brava! bravissima!” over and over, and her other brothers all have matching grins on their faces, and oh gosh, she’s really done it, hasn’t she

they meet her in the lobby with tons of bear hugs, the largest sunflower bouquet she’s ever seen, and half-meant scolding about “why the heck didn’t you invite us, vanny? you were amazing!!!” and while five and diego argue about who gets to carry her case on the way to griddy’s, ben simply rolls his eyes and plops it onto his back

halfway to the donut shop, luther presses close to her and gives her a one-armed hug that’s slightly awkward because they’re both walking and he’s obviously the size of a house compared to her, but vanya leans into him all the same, grateful for his quiet comfort. he keeps his arm around her all the way to the shop and only lets go when klaus drags him away to look for a booth that can accomodate all seven of them

they buy her all the donuts she wants and tell her which parts of her concerto they loved best, and vanya just feels so warm, down to the tips of her toes, and it’s all because she has never felt this much love in her life before

she’s getting ready for bed that night when diego knocks on her door and pokes his head in long enough to say “i’m proud of you, you know? like really, really proud” and gives her a long hug to boot

after that day, her siblings start sitting in whichever room she’s practicing in to hear her play, and the attention is overwhelming at first, but eventually, vanya just gets used to ben reading while she slogs over tchaikovsky or luther munching on a bowl of cereal as she works on her etudes

she invites them to every concert from then on, and vanya makes something of a ritual out of plucking petals from the bouquets she receives afterwards, pressing them into a notebook and running her fingers over every single one before a show to calm her down

[bruhlsbees]

sapphire strings || modern!andrea marowski x gn!reader

summary: andrea marowski is an exchange student from poland and reader's stand partner in their orchestra

pairing: modern!andrea marowski x female!reader

warnings: super fluffy, possibly bad polish translations, stupidly disgustingly sweet

word count: 3,588

a/n: i just watched ladies in lavender for the first time and i adore andrea so much - such a sweet sweet boy, if you can catch the poor white chicks reference in this i will love you forever.....also check out @creme-bruhlee newest andrea marowski fanfiction because they've only posted the first chapter and you can tell it's already going to be wonderful!!

The auditorium echoed with the sounds of sheet music rustling, instruments being tuned, and those who ignored the conductor and chose to continue to play their instruments, despite others needing to desperately tune their own. It was rather chaotic - but you expected nothing different as the orchestra was preparing to enter a new concert cycle, the crazed energy still among many as the conductor passed out the new piece.

Sitting in the back, all alone, you waited until the violinists in front passed your copy of the new piece back to you. For the new concert, the orchestra would be playing ‘Dvorak - New World Symphony’. Everyone was surprised to say the least when the conductor had announced it. While it wasn’t too challenging for most of those who were in the orchestra, it still gave the conductor enough room to push you all for what he knew you could achieve.

When the girl in front of you turned around, smiling as she extended her arm out above your stand to hand you your copy, you snatched it quickly from her, eyes lighting up as you set it flat on your stand, opening the booklet to scan your section. You ignored her laugh, and the rolling of her eyes, paying attention only to the set of notes - airbowing along as you hummed to yourself.

Despite being last chair in the first violin section, you were just as enthusiastic as the others - perhaps even more than some. You didn’t mind sitting in the back, alone, it meant that you had to only rely on yourself and if you screwed up it was your fault...that and you didn’t drag anyone down with you. You couldn’t lie to yourself, the idea of having a stand partner was not something that you were fond of.

Continuing to airbow, body swaying to the music that played in your head, your motions came to a slow stop as you heard the conductor tap his baton on his stand, raising his hands to gather the attention of everyone. You hadn’t realized until looking up, but there was someone new standing beside him. Someone younger who held his violin close to his chest.

This was weird, you weren’t expecting to have any new member of the orchestra.

“Everyone! Please, settle down for just a moment,” The conductor began, hushing the orchestra with his hands before smiling at the silence, “As you may know, we are transitioning from our previous concert cycle and into our new one-” The claps and whistles that erupted from the percussion section sent out an erupt of laughters from the orchestra, even a stifled one from the conductor. Shaking his head, the conductor tapped on the stand to gather everyone back in.

“Yes, glad to hear we have some enthusiasm over that...anyways, as I was saying, we are entering our new concert cycle and there will be some minor changes with our orchestra. This isn’t a bad thing, but a good thing! We will be having a new violinist joining us all the way from Poland.” Motioning towards the gentleman beside him, the conductor smiled and nudged for the gentleman to step up on the podium with him.

“This here is Andrea Marowski. He will be performing with us for this next concert cycle. Now Andrea, if I remember correctly, you said you played quite frequently back home?”

You watched as the shy boyish grin on Andrea’s face spread, cheeks going pink as he nodded, obviously not too much of a fan with the attention drawn to him. “Tak, I play for Poland orchestra.”

The heavy Polish accent slowed his words a bit, as if he were trying to make sure to annunciate what he was saying in English correctly. You caught yourself smiling ever so slightly, thinking it was cute to see him try so hard.

Your conductor, however, was not as swooned over the Polish violinist as you were. He nodded, clapping the man’s back, before turning Andrea towards your section. You watched as he pointed at you, whispering something to Andrea before returning to the podium. Your smile dropped slightly, shifting in your seat as Andrea approached your stand, hovering next to the open seat that was on the inside.

“Witaj! I was told to sit here?” The statement sounded more like a question, and perhaps that was because the expression that stained your face was not the most welcoming. You were comfortable with the routine you had for yourself - and now it seemed like things were messing up.

“Well if you were told to sit here, you probably are meant to sit here.” You mumbled after a moment of silence, watching as he tilted his head to the side, confused as he didn’t quite catch what you had said. Before he could ask you to repeat what you had said, you were already moving down towards his chair, pulling some of your folders from the chair to set under your own.

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Andrea tentatively take a seat, as if he knew that the seat wasn’t meant for him. His back was straight, stiff, like he was already going in to play. You wondered just how big of a deal this guy was over in Poland, because the way he held himself with his violin said almost enough.

To distract yourself from your new stand partner, you vigorously went to work airbowing the song, eyes fixed only on the pages in front of you. You weren’t usually the one to get flustered so easily over something so small, but this piece was something you were looking forward to for a long time and you wanted- needed, it to be perfect.

The sudden rap of the baton hitting the stand caught your attention, pulling you from the piece and up at the conductor, smiling at everyone with his warm smile. The two of you were close, having practiced many years with him - he was almost like a father to you - perhaps if you talked with him alone, he would change the seating arrangement?

“Is everyone ready to practice sight reading?” When a few nods were shook, he raised his hands, preparing to conduct, “Remember the emphasis of sight reading. I do not expect perfection, but to see where we are all at with this piece.”

Taking a deep breath, you raised your violin to your shoulder, adjusting the instrument to not slip from your shoulder before resting your chin on the rest, your back arched straight and foot tapping to the tempo from the metronome. When the conductor began, the strings shot down, moving to the director of the conductor.

At first you were dialed into the music, absorbing every note you could, not processing your surroundings too much until you finally heard Andrea playing beside you. You noticed that he liked to play rather dramatically, drawing out the notes that you wouldn’t think to, but nonetheless it sounded far better than your own. Was this jealousy? Perhaps; you had been with the orchestra for years and kept in the back - so when someone new shows up and clearly is better than you, you couldn’t help but kick yourself.

Shifting your sight from the paper and to Andrea, you began to airbow to watch him. His dark brows were furrowed, lips pursed, concentrating on doing his best for the sight reading. You thought to yourself how he looked funny - like a little kid being angry. You couldn’t help but smile, despite their own emotions feeling rage.

You didn’t know how long you were staring at him, airbowing sloppily, because when you looked up from his fingers and back to his face, his eyes were on you, and the expression on his face was not one of pleasure. With a ‘what are you doing’ expression, he motioned towards the booklet before it finally hit you that you missed the page turn.

With crimson ears, a burning sensation rose up your neck and to your face. You quickly turned and flipped the page, both of you doing your best to figure out where you were, but by the time you found it, the conductor had already stopped. This was embarrassing. How could you miss a page turn? Now he was probably thinking that you were an idiot!

Running a hand through your hair, you let out a soft exhale, listening as the conductor praised you for doing better than he had expected. Your thoughts were racing, too quickly for your brain to process anything. The only thing that you managed to process, however, was Andrea’s voice directed towards you.

“Ołówek?”

Snapping your head towards your left and at him, your frown deepened, confused as to what you had said to you, “I beg your pardon?”

He went to say the word again before his mouth snapped shut, frowning as he tried to think of the word before making a scribbling motion, hoping you would get the hint. It took you a moment, but you soon realized what he was asking of you.

“Oh, pencil. Yeah, hold on.” Dipping down, you opened your case and pulled out a pencil, handing it to him. You watched as he smiled, taking the pencil before leaning forward, putting a giant star above the fourth to last measure of the page, indicating for you to turn the page.

You knew that the gesture wasn’t meant to come off rude - but you were already embarrassed and it felt insulting to watch him draw such an obvious cue for you to remember. Andrea, innocent as always, looking over at you, cheeks pink, a smile across his face, as if he were proud of the stupid little star on the page.

Before your own annoyance burst, you were thankful to hear your conductor begin dismissing everyone for the day, saying that they should go out and enjoy the sun while it lasted. Packing your things up quickly, you all but ignored Andrea beside you, who was slowly packing up, a sad beaten puppy dog expression on his face.

When you finished packing, standing up and dragging your chair with the others to be stacked, you left the auditorium in a hurry, not saying goodbye to anyone. When you exited the auditorium, going down the hall, before finally reaching the fresh air of outside, you all but grumbled to yourself, kicking at the loose stones that passed you by.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

The rocks that you laid on were not comfortable, although they were dulled by the pain that coursed through you. The thin blanket didn’t provide much cushion, but warmth as the sun passed behind clouds, the wind picking up and pulling the waves in higher. You had your eyes closed, blocking the sun from directing into your pupils, blinding you completely.

Coming to the beach always seemed to help your consciousness nowadays, especially when you had a particularly hard day. You were beginning to sink in guilt with how you acted today in practice. The universe directed you onto a path to something new, something great, and you blew it on your own personal insecurities.

“So practice is going to be held every day. Starts at noon, ends at two. I want you to know that this might not be an easy transition for you, you understand? Your accident left you with permanent damage in your hand, you might not play the same aga-”

“So am I not supposed to try? To get back up, pick up my bow, and try until my hand falls off? Please...you were the one who told me all those years to never give up on myself, and now it seems as though you are. I want to be here, I was meant to be here. I can do this. I know I’m rusty, I do, but if I just give up now, I would never forgive myself.”

The conductor pursed his lips, nodding sadly at you before reaching his hand over the desk, taking your weaker one in his, holding it tenderly.

“You’re lucky to be able to still use your hand. I don’t want you to overdo it. You know I enjoy you in the orchestra, but you have to think about the rest of your life. What is to come of you if you lose the ability to use your hand by next spring? Then what?”

You knew the question was meant to sink in - to make you realize that it was important to think into the future...but that was just it, you didn’t think of the future, you thought about the moment, what was going on in the present.

Leaning forward, you placed your stronger hand on his, smiling at him, “And what if I don’t lose my hand by next spring? Have I given up on a whole year to grow? To one day sit back again in the first chair? This is my choice, and I will take all of your concerns to the heart, but at the end of the day, if I want to play, I’ll be damn sure that I am in one of those chairs.”

The determination was something the conductor had been fond of with you. The flicker of hope you always had in your eyes radiated onto the others which brought for a positive environment and a stronger bond within the orchestra.

And now - a year and a half later, your hand was growing stronger each day, and your skill was catching back up to where you were before the accident. You were still not where you wanted to be, nor where you wanted, but it was a start. A start in the right direction. The conductor explained that for the year coming back from your accident you would sit in the back, learn sometimes slower than the others, to make sure you didn’t strain your hand.

At first you were enraged by the decision, but as time went on, you knew it was for the better. The year off from first chair was only that - a year - a year compared to a lifetime didn’t seem too bad by the end of the day. And so when the Polish violinist waltzed into the room, showcasing the same enthusiasm you once held, it saddened you, reminded you of your own demons.

He was better than you, and you hated to admit it - because you knew that you would never be as good as him again. But that wasn’t his fault, and that’s why you were here now, on the beach, drowning in your sorrows.

Holding your hands close to you, head propped up by your violin case, you baked in the warmth of the sun, silent tears spilling down your cheeks. You took in a shaky breath and held it for a moment, listening to your rapid heartbeat as you tried to calm down, before finally exhaling slow. After three more times, you felt calmer, more at peace with your surroundings.

And then the sun went out, like someone turning off the lights.

Opening your eyes, your eyebrows furrowed as you saw none other than Andrea, standing above you, with a small smile on his face. When you processed who it was, you quickly pushed yourself up off your blanket, standing up to meet his chest, looking up to his eyes.

“Witaj!” Extending his hand out, he held a small purple flower towards you, motioning for you to take it - and you did, carefully taking the flower he gave you and smiled, mumbling a thank you.

Nodding his head, Andrea stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking around awkwardly before back at you, “Water pretty.” He commented, as if trying to fill the dead space between you two.

You turned your attention back towards the ocean and smiled, nodding before looking back at him, “Yes, I think so.” Twirling the purple flower in your fingers, you felt the heavy weight of the silence sit on you, wondering what to say next. Did he want something? Was he here to yell at you? Part of you knew that if he were to yell, he would have every right - after all, you were a complete jerk to him throughout practice.

But he didn’t, he never did.

Moving around you, Andrea took a seat on your blanket before patting the space beside him. At first you didn’t move, debating on whether you would want to share the space with him, but then your heart tugged, and the next thing you knew you were beside him on the blanket, shoulders pressed against one another as you both looked out towards the ocean.

“You play....” He paused, trying to think of the word he was looking for in English. While he thought, your stomach twisted in knots. What would he say? Was he looking for the word bad? No good? Despicable? Was this man going to destroy your entire career with just one wor-

“Me-Mez...merisi?” Looking down, your cheeks grew even hotter than they had in the auditorium. Did he just say that your playing was mesmerizing? You knew he must have heard the word on the television or radio, because it wasn’t a word you’d ever thought to describe yourself.

“Mesmerizing?” You questioned, watching as he nodded, agreeing proudly as he got the word right. You shook your head, laughing lightly, “I wouldn’t say that...but thank you.”

Clearing your throat, you felt silent, playing with the flower again before turning, opening your violin case to set the flower in, so it wouldn’t get lost or ruined, before closing the case again. You were then again met with the silence between you two.

And then, the bubbling sensation brewed in you again - the guilt that was eating away at you. You knew that you’d have to apologize here and now, or spend the entire night tossing and turning with another thing to feel guilty over. But you didn’t want his pity, you didn’t want to explain why you were upset because there was nothing to be upset over. That was just it though, right now wasn’t about you, at least not entirely.

Taking a deep breath, letting out an exhale, you turned and looked up at Andrea, who seemed fixed on the ocean, “Andrea?” You began, gaining his attention. When you stared into his honey eyes, the smile growing on his face, you smiled back, continuing on.

“I just wanted to say sorry, for earlier, how I acted,” You pointed at your weak hand, before dropping it back in your lap, “I was in an accident last year, hurt my hand, could not play well.” You tried to speak slow, making sure he was following before continuing on. “I was sad hearing you play, because you are...mezmerisi.”

Andrea let out a soft laugh, his smile growing until you could see the two rows of teeth in his mouth, your own laugh escaping, feeling ridiculous at the lame joke. But you were glad to see that he wasn’t mad, and for the most part, he seemed to understand.

“I understand.” Turning his attention from you and to the rocks and shells beside the blanket, his eyes lit up and leaned forward, pressing himself against you, disregarding your personal space, as he reached for a seashell, pulling back before holding it up for you to see.

Smiling, you nodded, “Seashell, yes. Pretty.” And it was - a beautiful shark’s eye moon shell with hues of blue, purple, and orange glazed over the white. You watched as he extended the shell to you before shaking your head, closing his hand with your own, “Keep it, Andrea.”

At first he seemed to be sad that you didn’t accept his gift, but soon tucked the shell into his coat pocket, turning back to look out at the sea. You followed in suit, turning and leaning against him once again slightly, looking out at the sea as the sun began to set.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

When you sat in your seat the next day in practice, you got your stand ready, setting your bow on the bottom shelf of the stand, a pencil ready in case you or Andrea needed it. After your talk yesterday with him, you felt better with yourself and the idea of being someone’s stand partner again. Despite your own accident, it did not make you a burden towards others. Andrea was patient and he did his best, in his poor English, to make it known that he would help you when you needed it.

So when he came in that day, a glowing smile on his face, bidding the conductor and others in your section a ‘good afternoon’, he soon came to you, sitting in his chair to your left before pulling out his things; rosin, an extra pencil, and the seashell he found yesterday.

Blushing, your attention shifted from the seashell and to him, a smirk on your face as you got him smirking back, acting nonchalant while getting his shoulder rest ready and tuning his violin.

Maybe it was a placebo effect on your mind, maybe it was the seashell, the conversation yesterday with Andrea, your conversation with the conductor a year ago, or your own realization that your own growth would make you better than you’ve ever played before - but in a different way.

Whatever it was though, that day during practice, was the best practice you’d had in a very long time.

[conniespringerblkwife]

Drummer Boy

(Connie Springer x Female Reader | NSFW)

A/N: So i was using the bathroom and then BOOM Connie fic idea. In conclusion, using the bathroom=best ideas.

Also I wrote this awhile back and since it’s Connie’s bday today, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to post it.

Warnings: Connie with eyeliner, Smut: Fingering, rough sex, and Connie grabbing the headboard

Summary: Y/N and her childhood best friend, Connie grew apart when once they began college. Three years later, Connie sees Y/N practicing and his feelings return for her.

*2,785 words*

Songs I listened to while writing:

Bubblegum Bitch by Marina and the Diamonds

Bad Romance (Lady Gaga) by Halestorm [Cover]

You and Connie used to be close friends since you were three all the way up to college.

Even though you two were best friends, you were polar opposites. He was an extrovert and you enjoyed quiet time by yourself. You had straight As, and Connie on the other hand, struggled in school. A D was an A to him. And although Connie was more popular than you, there was always one thing that brought you two together. Music.

Music has always been something you two can bond over. You played the violin and he played the drums. Even though you two enjoyed different genres of music, you understood each other's passion. Connie always wanted to play in a band and you always wanted to travel with a big orchestra and be first chair. You two understood each other's motives and worked hard everyday.

When you two started to grow up, you guys made a promise to never forget about each other when you two become famous. But that promise was broken, when you went to college. You and Connie both attended the same university, but became distant as you two joined different groups. You guys didn't realize the relationship died, it just gradually happened.

You both were caught up in different careers and lost time for each other.

You two met again, while you were practicing your solo, for an upcoming concert. You didn't realize anyone walked in until you heard the sound of clapping and a voice. "Wow!"

Your eyes adjusted to the figure below and you realized it was Connie. "That was amazing Y/n, you really have grown." He flashed a smile and you gave him a small one in return.

"Thanks Connie." You started to place your instrument in the case.

"How you've been?" He asked softly.

"Fine. And you?" You turned around to make eye contact with him.

"Good." You two stood in awkward silence. It's been so long since you two interacted with each other. You didn't know what to say. You guys haven't talked since freshman year of college, you're a senior now.

"Well, I'll go now." You gave him another small smile and proceeded. As you were heading out, you heard him call out your name.

"Wait Y/N!" You turned around and saw him jogging towards you. "Come to my gig tomorrow night."

"I don't know, I think I have practice tomorrow."

"Well if you don't." He pulled out a folded piece of paper out his pocket and handed it to you. "You're always welcomed." You studied the flyer and saw at the top, "10 pm: Riot of the Red Heart will be performing, 'There's a Hole in My Stomach.'"

"I'll see." You smiled and left the building.

*

You plopped on the bed and studied the flyer. "Riot of the Red Heart," you said to yourself. You decided to look them up and was amazed how popular they were on campus. You noticed they had an Instagram and clicked on their page. There were three members: Connie, a girl and a guy. The guy hair was pretty long and he had a beard, and also played guitar. The girl, you assumed was the main singer, had light brown hair and in her right hand was a potato.

As you continued to scroll through their page, you took note how happy Connie looked. Something in your heart twisted as memories came back, but you suppressed them and told yourself that you were happy that he was happy.

Unlike Connie, you didn't make any close friends during your four years of college. You had one friend named Mikasa and that was because she was your stand partner in orchestra, but outside of practice, you two never talked and if you did, it was only about what time practice was.

You put your phone on the charger and placed the flyer on the nightstand next to you, heading off to bed.

*

The next day you found out you didn't have practice and a part of you was happy that you could have a break. You decided to head back to your dorm and take a nap. It was rare for you to go a day without practicing, but you deserved it. You've practiced so much that your shoulders hurt more than usual. You would always forget to do stretches before and after practicing and would have to suffer the consequences because of that. As you drifted off to sleep you thought about Connie and wondered what he was doing right now.

*

"You guys excited for the night?!" Connie said wrapping his arms around Jean and Sasha's shoulders.

"Yep!" Sasha exclaimed, "Also after our performance can we go out to eat? I was thinking about that steak house down the street."

"Do you wanna go there because you've been crushing on that waiter?" Jean teased.

"What's his name?" Connie scratched his head and then smirked, "Niccolo?"

Sasha elbowed Connie in the side and walked off, " That's not true, I just liked the food there." Sasha crossed her arms while staring at the pavement trying to hide her embarrassment. "

"Mhmm, whatever you say." Jean remarked.

"Oh guys I invited someone." Connie spoke up.

"OOO who??" Sasha said.

"Her name's Y/n, she's a childhood friend." Connie rubbed the top of his head. "I want you guys to meet her."

"Oh she must be really special," Jean teased Connie.

"Yeah she is actually."

"Well I cant wait to meet her." Sasha said while throwing her arm around Connie's shoulders. Ever since Connie saw you yesterday, he couldn't get you out of his head. Connie used to have crush on you from middle school all the way to high school, but it left as you two grew apart. But those feeling returned when he saw you playing.

He didn't say anything that day when he entered the building and saw you practicing. He just stared in awe as you engrossed yourself in the music. Although you music was placed in front of you, your eyes were closed. It made him think how hard you have been working that you didn't even need to look at the music. He hoped you come tonight because he really missed you, and wanted to start over with you and possible relationship.

*

When you woke up , you saw that it was 9:00 pm. Your eyes then traveled to the flyer next to your clock. Connie's performance started in an hour. "I guess I could go." You said to yourself as you got ready.

You threw on a sweatshirt and jeans and fixed your hair before grabbing your purse.

Connie's band was performing at a small place called, The Corps Club.

When you entered the club, there were a lot of people, but it was pretty calm. Everyone was genuinely having a good time and you cursed yourself for not bringing Mikasa with you. You felt awkward as you sat at the bar fiddling with your purse, hoping to see Connie.

"Can I get you something?" A bartender said while cleaning a cup.

"Just a lemonade please, thank you." You were so focused on watching the bartender pour your drink you didn't even notice the presence beside you.

"Y/N Hey!" It was Connie. You took in his appearance and noticed he had on black eyeliner and wore a gray shirt that no sleeves along, a sliver necklace around his neck, and a chain that hooked to his pants. "I wasn't expecting you to come." He leaned on the table, "Hey Levi I'll pay for it."

"Oh no Connie that's okay." You protested but the man already took the money. "Thank you." You said softly while taking a sip of your drink.

"Thanks for coming y/n, I really appreciate it."

"Of course."

Connie then grabbed your arm and pulled you through the crowds of people. "I want you to meet my friends." He shouted and lead you through a door. "Guys I want you to meet y/n."

You seen them before, but it was different seeing them in person. "Y/N this is Sasha and Jean."

"It's so nice to meet you!" Sasha said and then pulled you into a hug. "Any special friend of Connie's is ours too. You want some chips?"

"No thanks," You said, your face heating up slightly at the thought of Connie talking about you to his friends.

"I'm Jean." He said as he held out his hand. You didn't imagine him to be so tall you thought as you shook his hand. "Connie you didn't tell us your friend was hot." Your eyes widened at his words.

"Jean please shut up you're making her uncomfortable." Connie said while hitting the back of his head.

"Anyways y/n, we're performing a song called There's a Hole in My Stomach. It's about a guy and girl who are twin flames, but the girl gets shot in her stomach and the boy basically loses another piece of himself." Your mouth opens slightly at the sad, but oddly specific, story behind the song. "I know right depressing, but it was Connie's idea." Sasha continued.

"We have five minutes 'till we perform...Y/N I'll show you a good spot to watch us." Connie said while grabbing your arm. He led you to the front row, "This seems like a good spot." He then pulled you into a hug and you felt your heart beat quicken. "Thank you y/n," he whispered into your ear. He pulled away and ran off, leaving you stunned.

You were blown away how good Connie's band was. Although the topic of their song was depressing, they played as if it wasn't. The three complemented each other so well. Sasha's voice was also beautiful and powerful. Jean played the guitar with a smirk plastered on his face as he rocked his head back and forth (let me stop before i turn this into a jean fic).

You then looked over to Connie and saw how intense he was as he hit the drums. It was like he was different person. You seen him play the drums before in high school, but that was nothing compared to now. His muscles flexed as he drummed. You thought he looked sexy, especially with the sweat gliding down his face and his eye liner starting to smudge. As if he heard your thoughts, Connie made eye contact with you and winked and quickly looked away.

After the performance you met up with the three and congratulated them. "You guys did amazing and Sasha your voice is so beautiful."

"Thank you." She said while wiping the sweat off her forehead. They all were sweating and you saw how Connie's eyeliner was now smeared across his eyes. "Are you coming with us to eat?"

"Oh no, it's late, I need to get back to my dorm."

'Are you sure Y/N?" Connie said while patting his neck with a towel.

"Yeah..Thank you."

"Well let me walk you back since it's late." He said while throwing his towel on the couch.

"Bye y/n!" Jean and Sasha said as you and Connie headed out.

The walk back to your dorm was silent until Connie said, "Thank you for coming. I'm so happy to see you again."

You smiled, "Of course Connie."

"It's been a long time since we seen each other." You hummed in agreement. "I missed you so much y/n" Connie stopped walking and stared into your eyes.

"I missed you too." There was tension between you two and you didn't know why, but you continued walking anyway.

You two were now in front of your dorm's door. "Thank you for inviting me Connie. Good night." As you were going to open your door Connie then said, "Y/n wait." You turned around in confusion.

"I want to start over."

"What?"

"I really missed you. Like a lot." You nodded your head, confused to where he was going with this. "Fuck it." He then pulled you by your waist and pressed his lips against yours. Your eyes widened at his sudden actions. You knew you should've pulled away but you couldn't.

You two were now in your dorm and you made out with each other as you straddled his waist at the edge of your bed. His tongue explored your mouth as he rubbed and squeezed your thighs.

Wanting more friction, you decided to rock against him and he groaned in your mouth. "Keep doing that." He said against your lips as he slid his hands under your sweatshirt to unstrap your bra. You were still in shock that you were making out with your old best friend, but that thought left when you felt his big hands cup your breasts and his thumbs circle your nipples.

He pinched and twisted your nipples as his mouth traveled from your cheek to your neck to suck on the skin.

You ran your hands through his hair and noticed that it was longer than last time you remembered. You giggled as a memory of you calling Connie a bald penguin popped up in your mind.

He then took your sweatshirt off and stared at your breast and then he squeezed your hips, urging you to keep grinding on him. "Stop staring."You whispered in embarrassment. He then attached his mouth to your nipple and you gasped at the wet feeling. His hands traveled your body up and down, his hands rubbing your curves and then cupping your ass as you continued rocking against him.

Your panties were wet and you wanted nothing more than for him to touch you where you most needed it. He didn't notice you unbuttoned your pants until you grabbed his hand and slid it down to cupped you down there. He felt how warm and wet you were and began caressing you gently through your underwear.

He then pulled your panties to the side and rubbed a finger up and down your folds before placing his middle finger inside of you. You hid your face in his neck as you rocked against him while he placed another finger inside of you. He rubbed his other hand up and down your back to ease you. "You're so beautiful," he said softly before placing a third finger inside of you.

"Connie" You moaned his name and that's when he lost it. He pulled his fingers out of you and laid you on your back. He shoved your pants and underwear down while he peppered kisses on your neck. You kicked the remaining clothing off your legs and pulled his shirt off while you wrapped your legs around his waist.

You two were now fully naked as Connie teased your folds with his penis. You bit your lip in anticipation. "Connie pl-" before you could finish he pushed himself inside of you and you clawed at his back as he stretched you out. He moved slowly first and you watched as his chain dangled in front of your face. You took that opportunity to grabbed him by his chain and pull him into a kiss.

He started to pick up his pace and you had to hold onto his shoulders for support. "So fucking tight." He said as he watched how you took him so well. When he felt you loosen up, he took the opportunity to lift your legs over his shoulder and pound into you. This new angle had you gasping for air as his hips snap against the back of your thighs.

His hand was gripping the headboard to go faster and his other hand also had a death hold grip on your waist, you knew there will be a bruise there tomorrow but you didn't mind. The more you said his name, the faster he would go.

He slowed down a bit when he felt your walls clench around him. You were close and he had to control himself because he wanted to make you cum first before him.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you came intensely and then a few moments later, Connie also came.

Connie then pulled out and collapsed on top of your body, then proceeded to give you small kisses between your breast. You both were breathing hard and you felt a small smile slowly form on your face. "I know this wasn't the proper way to build our relationship back up." He said against your skin. "Let me make it up to you and take you out tomorrow." He looked up at you through his long eyelashes.

You smiled and brought his head up to kiss him again, "I would love that."

*

*

*

Follow me on Instagram @//jungjaehoe127

[spaceorphan18]

Head Over Feet (2/14)

After Kurt and Blaine broke up the second time, they went their separate ways, living their separate lives in New York City. Fifteen years later, a retirement party brings them back together into each other’s orbit, with surprising, for both of them, consequences. Are they able to fit each other into their already complicated and messy lives? And are these newfound feelings real? Or just echoes of a past relationship?

Canon Divergent after Season 5.

Ao3 Link

A/N: Since the first chapter seemed to be such a huge hit - I'm dropping this today. This was all originally supposed to be the first chapter anyway! Going forward, I'm going to try to update once a month. Thanks for reading - and I hope you enjoy! :)

Thanks to @snarkyhag for the beta. :)

***

Chapter 2: Loser Like Me (Part Two) 

Kurt Hummel loves sex.  He loves the feeling of strong hands holding his body, rough lips against his skin, and a hard cock buried deep within him.  And that morning he had woken up feeling particularly horny.  He isn’t sure what exactly he had been dreaming about but his dick aches to be touched.  And luckily he shares his bed with a very hot guy who doesn’t mind taking care of it for him.  

He and Ian have been together a little over a year now, though this moving in together thing is new and still taking time to get used to.  Sex, however, is not an adjustment they need to make.  Ian doesn’t seem to mind Kurt waking him up with a hand on his cock, desperate to be fucked.  Ian might be a little slow to wake, but not long after they start, Ian’s already pulling Kurt to a quick orgasm; Kurt spilling all over Ian’s fist as Ian pumps his hips into Kurt from behind.  

The thing is, as much as Kurt loves sex, he’s not one to draw it out.  Kurt finds himself holding steady onto the bed frame, staring at the wallpaper, as Ian takes his time fucking him.  And the wallpaper is incredibly ugly.  Seriously.  He knows that Ian isn’t the one to have picked it out, but it’s a striped puke-green, burnt-orange, and tacky-gold, left over, most likely, from a renovation to the old building from the sixties.  It’s a travesty that it’s remained on the wall so long, and if Ian would just fucking come already, he wouldn’t be forced to stare at it for so long.  

Kurt fucks his hips back a little, hoping that Ian will pick up the pace.  He leans back for a kiss (that wallpaper is seared forever in his head, god) and gives out a little moan.  It’s a tiny bit performative, but it seems to do the trick, and Ian’s hips finally begin to snap, pushing him to his own orgasm.  

“Fuck, Kurt, I could wake up this way every day for forever,” Ian says, sucking a kiss to his shoulder.  

The word ‘forever’ echoes in Kurt’s brain uncomfortably.  Kurt turns in Ian’s arms, quieting him with a kiss.  “Happy to oblige.”

Ian goes in to deepen the kiss, but Kurt pulls away.  Now that he’s feeling a bit satisfied, he wants nothing more than to take a shower and get ready for the day.  He’s got about a thousand things to do, and he’s eager to get started.  Ian tries to keep him close -- he’s always wanting to make out after sex -- but Kurt manages to slip out of Ian’s light grasp.  

“Shower time,” Kurt says, wiggling his eyebrows.  

“Mmm, let me join you.”

The thought suddenly makes Kurt twitch but he tries not to show it.  What is wrong with him? His incredibly handsome boyfriend, with his disheveled dark hair and playfully pleading light eyes wants to join him in the shower for a possible part two of morning sexy times.  But having Ian shoved in next to him in their tiny shower stall makes him feel claustrophobic.  

He pushes past his discomfort to allow Ian to join him.  He even gives in to a little light making-out.  But there’s no way sex is happening in that bathroom.  

They do their morning routine together, bumping into each other in the tiny bathroom.  The sink is covered in bottles and sprays, creams and soaps, razors and combs, and they have to reach over each other to grab what they need.  Kurt is normally a very organized person, and when he moved in, he took the time to organize a side for each of them. But since then, Ian’s stuff has slowly migrated over to his side, and Ian’s slowly been using the products on Kurt’s side.  And mostly, he’d be fine with the sharing if things would just keep their place.  However, he doesn’t say anything, enjoying Ian’s good mood.  

Ian suggests breakfast, wanting to go to the little bagel shop a few blocks down.  He asks Kurt to walk with him but, just wanting a few minutes to check his emails alone, he declines.  Ian throws a look of disappointment but heads out, stating he’ll bring Kurt something back.  Kurt tries not to feel guilty about it, and reminds himself that there’s nothing wrong with wanting a few minutes to yourself.  Besides, Ian’s still excited that they’re living together.  He’ll calm down.  Surely.   Right?  

Ian being gone gives Kurt a few minutes to pick up the apartment.  There are clothes discarded in the living room, where they had been left after starting sex on the couch the night before.  There’s an old pizza box sitting on the coffee table, a few mugs with half-drunk tea, and a scattering of papers.  And underneath a pile of Ian’s sheet music is the mail from the previous week, most of which is Kurt’s.  He clenches his jaw as he goes through it, annoyed that he’s just now seeing it.  

There are a couple of old bills in here that need to be paid, as well as a bright red envelope that looks like an invitation sent from McKinley High.  He looks over the invitation with curiosity, though something else quickly catches his eye.  It’s a jewelry catalogue sent to Ian.  Specifically, a men’s jewelry catalogue.  And Ian doesn’t wear jewelry.  Highly suspect of it, he looks it over, and a growing anxiety starts to spread.  This could not possibly mean…

The door slams shut and Kurt jumps from his spot on the couch.  It’s just Ian home from the bagel shop.  

“I got your favorite, multigrain with that fancy whipped cream cheese that you like,” Ian says.  He hands him the bag and gives him a kiss on the cheek before sitting down next to him.  

“You didn’t give me my mail,” Kurt grumbles, taking the bag.  Then adds a quiet, “thank you.”  

Ian shrugs it off.  “I figured you’d see it eventually.  I’ve been wondering when you’d open that red envelope.  I wanna know what it is.”

“Oh,” Kurt places the bag with his breakfast on the coffee table and picks up the envelope from his lap, opening it.  He gives it a fond smile.  “I guess my old choir director is retiring.  There’s a party for him back in Lima.”  

“Well, that’s cool,” Ian says, grabbing the invitation out of his hand.  “Quaint.  I’m guessing you aren’t going?  I mean, other than mentioning your dad, I’ve never heard you talk about your time in Ohio.  Hell, I’ve never even heard early New York stories.  All I know is one day you walked into my piano bar, a full grown man, mysterious and sexy.”  Ian wiggles his eyebrows.  “Hard to imagine you in high school.”  

“Well, I can assure you I was anything but sexy,” Kurt says.  A flash of a memory crosses his brain - one of a performance in a warehouse, lots of boys in blazers, and a really uncomfortable situation for young Kurt.  He shakes his head, ridding his mind of it.  

“So, are you going to go?” Ian asks, far more interested in the idea than Kurt is.  

Kurt scrunches his nose at the thought.  He hasn’t stepped foot in Ohio for a better part of a decade.  There aren’t even people from high school he still talks to, not on a regular basis anyway.  It’s sweet of Will Schuester’s family to think of him, but maybe he’s better off sending a card or something.  

“I don’t know,” Kurt says, he stares at the invitation, unsure of how he feels about it.  “I don’t know.”

***

Wednesdays mean that Ian is home all day.  He is a classical pianist by trade and his day job is playing with one of New York’s symphony orchestras.  In the evenings, he usually plays gigs at local bars.  But on Wednesday, he has time off from both jobs to be home all day.  Wednesday used to be the day where Kurt spent all his time with Ian.  Now that they live together, Kurt usually spends his Wednesday anywhere but home.  

It usually lands him at his own job, running a small theater that he co-owns with his old friend, Elliott Gilbert.  Technically, Elliott’s rich grandmother’s money bought the theater, and Kurt had been brought on to manage the projects and productions that happened there.  It’s still quite a work in progress, as the building had been nearly condemned when they originally bought it a few years earlier.  But with all their hard work, they’re beginning to draw in better productions, and this might be the first year they actually draw a profit.  

When he gets in that afternoon, he finds Elliott up in the rafters, working on some of the lights.  Kurt watches for a moment as Elliott finishes whatever he’s working on.  It’s hard to say, but he has the toolbox with him, so Kurt can only guess it has to do with the lights nearly coming down the other night.  They really need to get an electrician in, but Elliott’s pretty handy about these things, and will at least try to do what he can before they have to ask for help.  

Kurt watches a good few minutes as Elliott finishes up and comes down the ladder.  

“You’re being quiet,” Elliott says, carefully bringing down the toolbox as he reaches the bottom of the ladder.  Kurt, hands in pockets, just gives a gentle shrug.  “You’re not usually quiet, which means it can only be one of a few things.  Something’s up with your dad.  You want a favor.  Or it’s boyfriend problems.”

“Well, my dad is fine, and I don’t need anything,” Kurt says.  “So….”

Elliott lets out a heavy sigh, and places the toolbox on the ground.  “It wouldn’t kill you to go to therapy, you know.”

“You’re not my therapist?”

“Alright, so this session is going to cost you three-hundred dollars,” Elliott looks at his watch.  “You have twenty minutes.  Go.”

Kurt lets out a laugh as he follows Elliott to the edge of the stage.  Elliott jumps off but Kurt lowers himself to sit on the edge, his legs hanging off.  Elliott makes a shrug for Kurt to get on with it.  

“So, I was going through some mail, and I found this jewelry catalogue.  It had a lot of men’s engagement rings,” Kurt says.  Elliott makes a face as if to say ‘and…?’  Kurt purses his lips.  “I think Ian might ask me to marry him.”  

“Have you guys even talked about marriage?”

“Definitely not.”  

Elliott doesn’t seem at all convinced.  “Maybe it was just an ad then.  I get shit like that all the time.  I somehow managed to be subscribed to a women’s lingerie catalogue for years.”  

Kurt still can’t rid himself of the low-level anxiety he’s been feeling about it all day.  “Even so, I just… don’t like the idea.”  

“I thought you and Ian were doing great?”

“We are, we are,” Kurt says.  Elliott, again, doesn’t seem convinced.  “Ian’s in the honeymoon stage of wanting to do everything together, and I don’t know.  We’ve been together for a year.  We know how we are.  Do we really need to do everything together now that we live together?”  

Elliott folds his arms across his chest.  “Kurt, if this is becoming an issue, why did you agree to move in with him in the first place?”

Kurt stares up at the ceilings.  The old, red curtains have a few fringes and tears, and Kurt wonders vaguely, if they should get new ones or if anyone would really notice.  He kicks the stage lightly as he avoids Elliott’s question.  “I mean, my apartment lease was up, and they were going to double my rent.”  

“Oh, god,” Elliott chokes out.  “Please tell me that wasn’t the only reason.”  

“It’s not,” his voice squeaks a little too much on the words.  “I also, you know, love him.”  

Elliott shakes his head.  Kurt knows judgment when he sees it.  “This is just classic Kurt,” he says.  

“You know, there’s nothing wrong with having an adjustment period with having to live with someone after I’ve had my own place for so long,” Kurt says, defending himself.  

“Uh-huh.”

“I just like my independence.”

Elliott’s eyebrow is arched high.  “Or you like sabotaging your relationships.”

Kurt scoffs, looking off to the side of the stage.  They’re going to need to scrub this whole place down before allowing anyone to do a production here again.  Elliott, however, is not letting him off the hook, and eyes him hard.  “I do not do that.”

“Then why have I seen you more in the past couple of weeks than you’ve probably seen him?”

It’s a fair question, Kurt admits to himself.  “Well, I do find you tolerable.”  

“Kurt, you don’t find any of your boyfriends tolerable,” Elliott says.  He almost sounds annoyed, but he knows Elliott’s limits and he knows he hasn’t reached them.  But truth be told, he’s as sick of himself as Elliott probably is.  “Who was that guy before Ian? That Matt guy? Why did you break up with him?”

He picked the scab, of course Elliott is going to rip open the old wounds.  “Because he wanted me to be ‘a part of the family’,” Kurt replies, using air quotes to highlight his point.  Matt had been a sweet guy, but his family had been his life.  He hadn’t been ready to be a part of any family, let alone one that had been as close as Matt’s had been.  He felt as if he had been suffocating every time they went to visit.  “His family was crazy.  I didn’t need to be a part of that.”  

Elliott nods, continuing on.  “Okay, and Joey was the one before that.  I remember him because he helped clean up this place when we bought it.”  

Kurt bites his lip.  He did feel bad about that.  Joey had been so quick to offer his time.  But Joey also had been there.  All the time.  It had been too much.  “He was super clingy,” Kurt says quietly, though he hates that he’s seeing the trend.

“Sure he was,” Elliott says.  A grin slips onto his lips.  “And then there was Steven.”  

“He wanted to marry me six months into the relationship,” Kurt says.  He snaps a little too loud, his voice echoing in the empty theater.  Elliott remains amused, even if Kurt is not.  “Who knows they want to get married six months into a relationship?  Why are you getting on my case about this?  It’s not like you don’t go through, like, three guys a week.”  

Elliott throws his head back in a laugh.  “Well, I am at peace with my slutty ways.  Look, Kurt, it’s not about the number of guys you go through.   It’s just that, well, honestly, I’ve known you forever.  And I know you’re this old school romantic and the slutty ways will never be satisfying for you.  Did it ever occur to you that the reason it doesn’t work out with these guys is not because you’re this progressive independent, but because deep down you want to be an old school married, and haven’t found the right person to be with yet?”

The gnawing pit in his stomach starts to fade as he thinks about the old fantasy -- the one he had as a kid, where you met your prince, and you lived happily ever after.  Only, real life doesn’t happen like that.  Most guys are not princes, and the ones who are don’t always lead to happily ever after.  He knows better than to be unrealistic, but maybe he’s pushing people too far away.  

“Do you think I’ve made a mistake?” Kurt asks, he begins bouncing his foot against the stage again.  

Elliott goes soft in deposition.  “You know I can’t answer that for you.”

“You’re probably right,” Kurt says.  He thinks of Ian - of his kind smile and good heart.   He shouldn’t be running, even if every ounce of him feels like it’s too much.  “Ian is a good guy, and I’ve been…”

“Difficult?”

“I was going to say myself, but thank you.”

“I do my best.” Elliott playfully taps his knee.  “If you want, though, you can crash at my place for a few days.  I’m gonna be out of town.  Some third cousin is getting married, and Mom insists that everyone be there.”

“No, I’m good,” Kurt insists.  And then an idea hits him.  “You know, I got an invitation to go back to Lima.  Old high school choir thing.  Maybe I’ll take a long vacation and do that.  It could give me some time to clear my head -- reflect on my questionable life choices.”  

Elliott gives a hearty laugh.  “You haven’t talked about Lima in years.  Besides, going back to Lima might force you to dig into your past, and we all know how much you enjoy doing that.”

Kurt swats at Elliott.  “It’ll be fine.  What’s the worst that can happen?”

***

After work, Kurt doesn’t go home right away.  Instead, he opts to walk around the city for a while.  There’s a slight chill, causing him to bundle his jacket a little tighter, and the sky is overcast, threatening a storm rolling in.  He won’t be out too late, but he knows Ian is back home waiting for him and he’s just not ready for it yet.  

His conversation with Elliott plays over in his head.  He does like his independence.  He always has.  Even when he had been a little boy, his parents had let him play on his own.  And after years of rejection from kids his own age, he learned that sometimes being on your own is your best bet.  It’s not that he doesn’t like the company his boyfriends have brought him over the years.  He just likes his space. And his peace and quiet. And his room to move about as he pleases.  And sometimes boyfriends make him feel too tied down.  

But he can’t help but think about what Elliott had said.  The thing that seems to stick in his brain, wiggling to the forefront of his thoughts.  Maybe he wants to be an old married? Maybe he does want that connection, that one person who seems to know him, who understands him enough that there will be days when they’re inseparable, and days when they’re apart.  He likes the idea of coming home to the same face every day to see someone who can read him like a book, who will enjoy the same things as him, who will love him for the insufferable human being he always seems to be.  

But are there really people out there like that?  

Maybe he’s not giving Ian enough credit.  When they had decided to move in together, Kurt thought it had been the most optimal choice.  Living costs would come down.  He’d have a partner to spend his time with.  And the sex.  God, Ian knows how to have sex.  

But permanently?  The buzz of anxiety begins to grow at the thought.  There are too many little things about Ian, too many things about himself that just don’t feel right.  It’s not perfect.  Well -- it’s never going to be perfect, he argues with himself.  But still…  

The storm breaks sooner than Kurt expects, a sudden heavy rain coming down.  Kurt stands on the street corner, looking up at the sky as he gets drenched.  Maybe the universe is trying to tell him something, and he can’t help but laugh as the rain splashes his face.  

Just as he’s about to head home, however, he catches a sign on the corner of a building.  A sign advertising an open leasing on a loft, with a number attached.  For a moment, he’s transferred back in time to all those years ago, when he lived in a loft in Bushwick with four other people all of whom had been trying to make it in the city.  He hasn’t thought about that loft in ages.  Hasn’t thought about those people in ages.  God, what even happened to…  

He tries hard not to think of the name that first pops in his head.  But he can’t help but see the face.  He shakes his head, as if attempting to get rid of the image.  

Nostalgia hits him just then.  

Nostalgia for a place he left long ago, for people whom he never thought he’d miss.  He is going to take that trip to Lima.  He does need a break from Ian.  He does need to get his life sorted out.  But mostly, he feels a soft ache for returning home -- even if he’s not sure where that is anymore.  

***

A week later, Kurt finds himself rolling up to one of Lima’s three motels in a car he rented at the airport.  It’s strange coming back to the city he grew up in and, yet, not returning back to his childhood home.  He had thought about driving past, but he hadn’t necessarily wanted to see through the window to see whatever happy suburban family had bought the place.  Instead, he had driven straight to the motel that he had booked himself the moment he knew he would be coming back.  

There is something surreal about returning to the place you grew up after so much time has passed.  It’s like time has frozen, remaining exactly the same as the moment you left, even if there are new storefronts in the old buildings, expansions where wooded areas used to be, and a real attempt, it seems, to clean the place up.  It feels unchanged, and Kurt can’t tell if that’s a good or bad thing.  It’s just a thing.  

It’s evening by the time he gets in.  The motel room is bland and tiny, and the four channels on the TV don’t offer much entertainment.  He lays down on the bed to stare at the ceiling, thinking if there’s anything he could do.  Most places in Lima shut down before eight, even on a Friday night.  And it’s not like he has anyone to call. He had been texting Mercedes Jones earlier in the week, shocked that her number had still been the same, but she had explained that she wouldn’t be getting in until very late and implied that whatever plans she had wouldn’t be with him.  He had understood, and it’s not like he won’t be seeing her the next day anyway.  Scrolling through his phone, he finds that he doesn’t have a single other contact from high school he could call.  

Maybe he should just text Ian -- but as his thumb hovers over his boyfriend’s name, he remembers that Ian is probably playing a concert that weekend. And even if he waits until later when Ian’s home, he just doesn’t want to ruin Ian’s good time by explaining that he can’t quite quash the crushing sense of loneliness that seems to be his homecoming.  

Why did he think this would be a good idea?

Out of the corner of his eye, he notices a neon flashing light, and through the window he sees a building that he hasn’t thought about in years.  Thinking anywhere is better than being stuck in that sad motel room for the next twelve hours, Kurt heads out into the night.  

***

Scandals is, if nothing else, exactly how he remembers it.  Not that his memories are anything more than fuzzy blips of moments from long ago.  He remembers the same posters being on the wall, in the same tattered state.  He remembers the huge, neon signs lining the walls.  And god, the music even feels strikingly similar.  There aren’t, he thinks with a laugh, any drag queens though.  

The atmosphere is quiet for a Friday night.  There are a few guys out on the dance floor, enjoying each other’s company, but most of the people in the bar are huddled in the darkened corners.  No one looks up from their conversations to notice him come in.  The bouncer is too busy flirting with a denim dressed, bearded guy leaning against the wall to notice him slip by.  

He’s not a few steps in when he realizes coming out to a bar seems like a silly thing to do, but makes a deal with himself to have one drink before he heads back to the motel and to do the sensible thing in calling Ian.  

But as he heads to the bar, he sees something that makes him freeze in his tracks.  

Is that…?

It can’t possibly be…?

Blaine Anderson is sitting at the bar, casually chatting with the bartender as he sips a beer.  Kurt is stunned to see him, his mind reeling at how this is even possible.  There is only one gay bar in Lima.  And he’s probably here for the reunion.  

But still… Blaine Anderson, of all people.  

There’s a tiny part of him that wants to run.  Turn on his heel and walk right back out of that bar and not even worry about the formal meeting they’ll inevitably have tomorrow at the reunion.  He doesn’t though.  

He watches Blaine for a moment, in his element, throwing his head back to laugh at something the bartender said.  It’s astounding to Kurt at how much and how little Blaine has changed.  Age, it seems, has done him well.  There’s less gel in his hair, allowing the natural curls to reveal themselves.  His face is harder, jawbone more defined. He’s wearing a dark sweater vest, but no bowtie, and the shirt underneath is unbutton, revealing a wisp of hair on his chest.  Blaine is no longer that young boy he once knew.  Sitting at the bar is a man.  

And yet… his movements are exactly the same.  The way he crinkles his eyes when he laughs, the way he lightly touches the bartender’s arm while expressing his point, the way casually plays with the napkin on the counter.  That’s still the Blaine he used to know.  

Kurt takes a deep breath, releasing the tension running through him.  He could leave… but he doesn’t really want to.  It’s been a decade since they’ve seen each other.  That’s enough time to let old wounds heal, right?

Kurt takes the plunge.

“I’m guessing this place rarely sees a man as gorgeous as you.  Mind if I buy you a drink?”

Blaine turns around, utterly shocked to see him there.  Kurt’s confidence slips as the silence lingers.  Maybe this had been a bad idea.  But then, Blaine breaks out into a grin.  

“Kurt?” He says his name slowly, as if it’s unfamiliar in a way, but easily slides off his stool, going in for a hug.  It’s awkward -- where do you put your hands and arms? How close do you stand? How do you properly greet someone you once agreed to share your life with?  Someone who is a relative stranger now.  It’s bizarre to him that somehow, Blaine still feels so familiar in his arms. “Please, join me.” Blaine offers the stool next to him as they slip apart.  “I’ll definitely take you up on that drink.”

Kurt sits down, suddenly feeling much more nervous than he had been.  Blaine waives down the bartender -- asking for beer, while Kurt shortly asks for an amaretto sour.  He definitely needs something to calm him down.  How is Blaine being so calm? Is he hiding it better? Or is it that he’s soon to be on his third beer?

“So, what are you doing here?” Blaine asks, placing his head on his hand, now looking amused.  There’s no anger there. No resentment, or negativity.  Blaine genuinely seems to be happy to see him.  Based on how they had left things all that time ago, Blaine could have harbored some ill will towards him.  But they are both adults now.  And it had been a long, long time ago.  

“I’m in town for Mr. Schue’s retirement party,” Kurt says.  He rubs his legs, not sure what to do with his hands.

Blaine nods, finishing off the beer he had been drinking when Kurt had arrived.  “Oh, yeah, I figured that.  I meant, what are you doing here ?” He uses both hands to point down.  

“Oh!” Kurt feels a little silly not understanding.  Thankfully, the bartender brings them their drinks.  Kurt wastes no time gulping half of it down as if it were a shot.  “I saw it from the motel window.  Call me crazy, but I was feeling nostalgic.”

“Huh,” Blaine takes a long sip from his bottle, narrowing his eyes as he thinks it over.  “You’re not staying with Burt?”

“Oh, god, right you wouldn’t know,” Kurt laughs as he stirs his drink.  “Dad retired a few years ago.  He and Carole moved to Arizona to be closer to her sister.”

“Ah, gotcha.”

“I guess I could have stayed with Uncle Andy,” Kurt continues, remaining fixated on his drink as he talks.  “He and his sons took over the tire shop.  But we’re not exactly close.  And he has, like, ten dogs.  I’d rather take my chances with the motel.”

Blaine nods, sympathetically.  

“What about you?” Kurt asks.  “How’s your family?”

“They’re pretty good,” Blaine says, easily.  “Cooper has three little girls.  Here, let me show you.”  Blaine wastes no time fishing out his phone, scrolling through the roll for a picture of three gorgeous young girls who all, clearly, take after Cooper.  Kurt coos accordingly but he can’t help but notice Blaine’s left hand, and the indentation of skin where a ring used to be.  It makes him wonder.

“So, what are you doing now?” Kurt asks, trying to relax on his stool.  He rests his elbow on the wooden bar, and his head on his hand.

“I teach, actually.  New York Institute of Fine Arts,” Blaine says, taking another sip of his beer with a laugh.  “I mean, I still perform every now and then.  But an adjunct professor was needed, and a friend of mine pulled some strings, and I just kind of fell into it.  I love it though.”  There’s no lie in Blaine’s voice.  Blaine had always been a passionate person, but it’s clear by his demeanor that he loves his job.  

Kurt smiles meekly, happy for him.  “A private school, of course.  How very you.  Actually, now that I think of it, that’s not far from my theater.”

“You have a theater?” Blaine’s eyes grow wide with interest.  

“Well, half a theater,” Kurt rocks his head from side to side, as if it’s a silly little thing, and not the pride and joy that he’s sunk most of his adult life into, now.  He plays with the nearby peanut bowl.  “The Gilbert Theater.”

“Oh, I know that place,” Blaine says.  There’s excitement in his voice.  Kurt isn’t sure why this makes him happy.    “I thought it had been condemned.  I mean - I’m sure you’ve fixed it up.”

“Oh we have,” Kurt says, thinking about all the work he’s put into it over the years.  “Elliott and I renovated it.  You wouldn’t even recognize it now.”

Blaine takes another slow slip of his drink.  “Elliott?  Like from college?” Kurt nods slowly. “Ah. So are you guys…”

“Oh, no,” Kurt quickly corrects.   “God, no.  Business partners only.”  It’s such a funny thought to him.  Elliott.  They’re like brothers.  No, he’s definitely not romantically linked with Elliott.  There is someone else… but he quickly pushes Ian out of his brain.  He doesn’t want to think about him. “So this is crazy, right? That we both ended up in the same sleazy place?  Maybe the universe was trying to push us together again.”

Blaine gives an uncomfortable laugh. “Well, there is only one gay bar in Lima, but I suppose…”

An awkward silence grows between them.  Blaine bops his head to the music.  Kurt munches on some peanuts.  They both avoid direct eye contact.  The uneasiness that Kurt had felt when he first walked in begins to return.  Maybe he should go.  

The bartender breaks the silence, asking Blaine if he’d like another drink.  There’s an ease there that Kurt picks up on.  Blaine knows the guy -- like really knows the guy.  Kurt shifts from side to side not sure what to say or do.  He eyes the door, he can still slip out if he needs to.  

“Man, I cannot believe how little this place has changed since I used to come here,” Blaine says, taking a look around.  

“You mean when we were in high school?” Kurt asks.  He’d hardly say coming the three times that they did a lot.  

“No, it was actually after…” he trails off but Kurt picks up on what he’s saying.  After they broke up.  After he broke Blaine’s heart.  Blaine kind of skips past the beat.  Why dredge up all that old stuff.  That’s what the reunion is for, right? Something turns in the pit of Kurt’s stomach.  “When I moved back to Lima, I used to come here a lot.  Thought maybe throwing myself into this place might make me feel better.  Not so alone, you know?”

“Did it help?” Kurt’s voice is small.  

“Maybe,” Blaine says with another laugh.  “I don’t know, it was so long ago.  You know it…” he pauses, thinking it over.  “Alright, if I tell you something - do you promise not to run screaming?”

Kurt’s intrigued.  “Of course.”

Blaine stares intently at his bottle.  “After you and I ended things -- I came back to Lima.  And I sorta, kinda dated Dave Karofsky for a while.”

Of all the things that Blaine could have said -- that is the last thing Kurt expects to hear.  It makes Kurt chuckle into his drink.  He can’t even picture it, it’s such a wild thought.  “Wait, seriously?”

“Shocking, right?”

“A little.  More so that you were into a bear.”

The tension breaks as they let go into easy laughter.  The conversation becomes lighter as they begin to discuss old things.  They talk about Dave Karofsky, and how someone who had once been Kurt’s ghost had turned into a friend whom Kurt sees every few years for lunch.  Blaine mentions he had attended Dave’s wedding.  Kurt mentions he had lunch with Dave and his husband last year.  It’s strange how things can change so much in twenty years.  

They talk about Dalton -- though not about that staircase.  The staircase that will forever be burned in his memory for better or worse.  Instead, they talk about Sebastian Smythe with fondness, though neither could say where he ended up. And about the one time Blaine sang at the Gap to impress a guy whose name neither can remember.  

And for a moment, unprovoked, Blaine mentions his husband.  It’s a startling jolt into reality, but Blaine doesn’t give him any more than a name and a passing story about having to explain to his husband why he refuses to shop at The Gap.  It’s not like Kurt hadn’t heard Blaine had gotten married.  He doesn't remember who had told him or when or even how he had felt about it.  Blaine had wanted to be married.  He got his wish.  And Kurt is happy for him.  He wants to be happy for him.  Still, that missing ring…

As they reminisce, the bartender brings them more drinks.  The room begins to feel warm and familiar.  Kurt isn’t sure if it’s alcohol or Blaine that is making him feel so comfortable so far from home.  They talk about high school and old friends, people whom they’ve lost touch with and people they’re looking forward to seeing tomorrow.  Kurt learns that Blaine developed a surprisingly deep friendship with Santana Lopez.  Blaine learns that Kurt hasn’t talked to Rachel Berry since college.

“I just couldn’t after that show,” Kurt explains.  They’re both giggly from drinking too much - Kurt having to hold his hands up when the bartender offers him a third.  “I mean - not that she even tried to keep in touch with me.  But my god did you watch that thing? It was terrible! She was fine - she was always fine.  But who decided that would be what America wanted to see for a decade?”

Blaine snickers into his drink.  “Well, personally I was offended.  ‘Slaine’,” he uses both hands to make air quotes around the character’s names, “was written out after year two.  I was like ‘fuck that’.  It’s just as well.  Had he stayed on, I might have had to sue their asses for defamation of character.”

“You are not wrong,” Kurt says, unable to stop laughing as he thinks about it.  He puts a hand on Blaine’s shoulder to balance himself so as to not fall off his stool.  

Blaine notices and smirks.  “How drunk are you right now?”

“Less drunk than you are,” Kurt smiles into his glass.  He is buzzed but not at all drunk.  In fact, he feels good and relaxed and happy.  When had he last been this happy?  “Anyway… All I know is that a terrible writer wrote ‘Cert’ as the sassy yet sexless gay best friend.  And he stayed on the show.  The. Entire. Run.  If anyone has the right to sue, it’s going to be me.”  

“Well, for what it’s worth.  I don’t think Cert was anything like you,” Blaine says.  He leans in close.  Kurt can smell the sweet scent of raspberries.   “Personally, I thought you were always sexy.”

Something in the atmosphere shifts.  Suddenly, Blaine is close.  Close enough that he can see the depths of Blaine’s golden eyes.  There’s something there that Kurt hasn’t seen in a long time, and it causes him to break.  

He’s not sure what it is that makes him say it.  He’s not sure if it’s the heaviness of guilt, or the friendliness of Blaine’s demeanor, or the fact that all of this nostalgia is causing him to reflect on his life’s choices - but he can’t help but let the words stumble out.  “Blaine, I’m so sorry.”  

Blaine looks at him, genuinely confused.  “For what?

“For a lot of things, I feel like I owe you an apology for so many things,” Kurt rambles on.  “I was not in a good place and you… I shouldn’t have ended it.  I mean I shouldn’t have ended it the way that I did.  I shouldn’t have hurt you like that.  And I’m sorry that I did.”

Blaine takes a moment to think it over, as if he’s processing everything Kurt’s saying.  “Kurt…” he lets out a sigh. “You weren’t the only one who was a mess back then.  You don’t have anything to be sorry about.  We had a good thing.  We had a great thing, even.  But it’s fine.  It’s all in the past, and I’m fine.”  

Kurt feels a bit of relief wash over him.  Maybe this is why he needed to come back.  Maybe he had just needed to bury his demons.  He feels lighter than he has in, well, a while.  He reaches out for Blaine’s hand and squeezes it.  It feels comforting in his own.  

“Look at us now, all grown up,” Kurt says, a smile sliding across his face.  “I mean, you’re married and I’m…”

“Kurt?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s an open marriage.”

Blaine places his free hand just above Kurt’s knee and squeezes, ever so lightly, he holds it there, stroking his thumb along the side of his thigh.  It’s an invitation.  His cock gets there first, as he watches Blaine’s hand, firm and strong.  His brain becomes fuzzy, but all he can fixate on is the urge to have Blaine’s hand travel up.  This is closure, right?

“Come with me,” Kurt makes the quick decision not to second guess this.  He grabs onto Blaine’s hand with purpose, sliding off the stool and taking Blaine with him.  Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Blaine smirk as he throws out a few bills on the counter to pay for the drinks.  

***

They’re in the bathroom stall, where Kurt vaguely remembers making out once back at the end of his senior year.  They never would have done anything as daring as have sex in a public place, but just kissing, even in a place that accepted it, felt naughty and fun back then.  

Now, he couldn’t care less that there are people who might know what they’re doing.  His desire is too strong, his brain clouded in a haze of need to taste Blaine again; the wonder of if it will feel so good after so long.  The room is broken up into stalls, dimly lit, and smells as if they are the next in a long line of gay men who will use this place to relieve themselves in more ways than one.  Kurt pulls Blaine back to the farthest stall, ignoring that there’s another couple occupying another stall, the panting sounds of their fucking echoing in the room.  It only turns him on more.  

Once the stall door is locked, Blaine looks at Kurt, his large, dark eyes more sure than Kurt is about this.  It almost throws him off kilter but Kurt looks to Blaine’s mouth, and suddenly he remembers all the things that can be done with it.  His resolve broken, Kurt lunges for a kiss.  

Blaine kisses back with force, pushing Kurt back into the wall.  Kurt doesn’t even care that the metal bar for handicap use is pressing against the back of his thighs.  He just wants to feel Blaine.  They kiss deeply, wantonly.  His sense memory returns and suddenly he feels like a teenager again, hungry for Blaine back when he had been first discovering what sex is.  Kurt moans into the kiss that encourages Blaine to slide his tongue against Kurt’s.  

They’re all hands and mouths, wrapping themselves around each other as they make-out.  Kurt wraps his arms around Blaine’s neck, combing his fingers through Blaine’s curls as he pulls Blaine closer to him, enough so that their bodies are sliding against each other.  Blaine brings his hands down to Kurt’s ass and squeezes with both hands.  Fuck.  He doesn’t remember the last time he’s gotten so hard so fast.  

They begin to rock against each other as they kiss.  Kurt can feel Blaine’s hard cock pushing up against his own.  If they keep going at this speed, he is not going to last long, and dammit, he refuses to come in his pants.  

Kurt breaks the kiss, only for Blaine to start kissing along his jaw and down his neck, Blaine’s touch is electric, and Kurt can’t help but feel dizzy with pleasure.  He loses himself in Blaine’s embrace, soaking up the feeling as much as he can.  It’s been fifteen years since they’ve fucked - how can this possibly feel so good?  

Blaine works his way back up to Kurt’s mouth, though this time, Kurt is able to slow it down.  Kurt busies his hands with the buttons on Blaine’s pants.  Blaine takes a slight step back, allowing for Kurt to pull him out.  Kurt takes a quick second to look down at Blaine’s cock; his thick and delicious cock.  If only they weren’t in a bathroom stall right now, Kurt would take his time devouring that cock.  Instead, he takes to stroking it, becoming satisfied with the low moans and grunts that are eliciting Blaine’s mouth.  

Blaine steadies himself against the wall, as he begins to pump his hips in time with Kurt’s strokes, fucking himself into Kurt’s hand.  “Let me,” Kurt says, in a low whisper, biting gently at Blaine’s lips before they fall into a sloppy kiss.  Blaine is close - he knows Blaine is close, he can feel it as Blaine arches further into his hand.  Kurt speeds up his hand, deliberate in his strokes.  It’s a little rough, but Blaine becomes more and more undone, uttering little obscenities as he closes eyes and allows himself the pleasure.  Blaine comes, jolting into Kurt’s hand, and lets out a moan that Kurt covers with a kiss.  

“Give me a second,” Blaine says, breathlessly, holding firmly against the wall as he comes down.  

Kurt smirks, licking the come off his fingers.  His own cock is throbbing with need but there’s something incredibly satisfying seeing Blaine loose and fucked out.  

Blaine takes a second to put himself back in his pants and then goes down on his knees.  This isn’t at all what Kurt had been expecting, and his eyes go wide as Blaine sucks a kiss over Kurt’s clothed cock.  

“You really don’t have to do that,” Kurt says, feeling a little guilty.  Blaine’s legs are sticking out of the stall door and anyone could interrupt them.  

“Shut up and let me blow you, Kurt,” Blaine says, a wicked grin on his face as he unzips Kurt’s zipper.  Kurt’s cock bobs free, and like a man allowed to drink water after years in the desert, Blaine sucks Kurt all the way down in one go.  

“Jesus, fuck Blaine.”  He really doesn’t care if there’s anyone else in there who can hear them.  Blaine had always been good at blow jobs; always so eager to give them, and Kurt’s glad to know that Blaine’s enthusiasm hasn’t changed.  Blaine sucks him down, greedily, and he loses himself in the sensation of Blaine’s velvety mouth on him.  

“I’m curious about something,” Blaine says, pulling off.  Kurt can’t imagine what, but he doesn’t have to wait long to find out.  Blaine begins to stroke him, slowly, drawing it out.  Then sucks a kiss to the tip of Kurt’s cock, using his tongue to swirl and tease it, before he sucks him down once more.  Kurt lets out a heavy groan as his knees nearly buckle.  “Huh. So that really still does things for you?”

Kurt can’t help but give a little laugh.  “Shut up and finish me off, Blaine,” Kurt manages the tease despite him now being desperate to come.  

Amused, Blaine obliges, sucking Kurt into his mouth again. Kurt closes his eyes, taking it all in as he lets Blaine take him over the edge.   He spills into Blaine’s mouth, Blaine being able to swallow with ease -- something, he notes, Blaine hadn’t been able to do before.  As Blaine pulls off, he licks his lips, and remains on his knees for a long moment.  

The atmosphere then shifts suddenly.  Blaine looks down for a long while, and Kurt can’t tell what Blaine’s feeling -- Guilt? Sadness? Regret?

“Thank you for that,” Blaine says, his sincerity layered with something that feels like finality.  Blaine gives Kurt’s hip a kiss before helping put Kurt back into his jeans.  There’s something strangely intimate about it, and despite the fact that Kurt is feeling blissed out from his orgasm it’s now tinged with a heavier, unknown feeling.  Blaine gets to his feet.  There’s a lot going on behind his eyes that Kurt can’t read, but Blaine says nothing, only gives Kurt a soft kiss on the lips.  “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”  

Blaine leaves the stall but Kurt stays, unsure what to make of everything that happened.  A lot just happened.  A lot.  And as the buzz of sex begins to wear off, a sickening gnawing grows in his stomach.  He just had sex with his ex-fiancé whom he hasn’t seen in years.  He just cheated on his boyfriend.  But what makes Kurt feel the worst, as he slides down the wall to sit on the sticky floor because his legs can no longer hold him, is the realization that for Blaine - that might have been his way of saying goodbye.  

[pandora15]

long long rant below. sorry in advance xD

so i invited one of my friends from high school to join my orchestra.

ever since she joined she's been a really good addition to the group! she's been participating a lot and like making connections and even having some of her own arrangements performed in the small ensembles part of the concert.

she's been like really into it and i'm so glad to see that.

while all of this is happening, we realize pretty early on in the season that the violist we had from last season is not returning. i am both a violinist and violist and i had been playing violin for the orchestra up until this point because we were in more desperate need of violins than violas in the past.

now that we did have more violinists joining and literally 0 violas, we were facing a different problem.

meanwhile meanwhile, I got promoted from violin 2 to violin 1, which was really scary at first (and honestly still really scary because some notes are high)

but anyways, the friend I invited to the orchestra told me and our other friend about a really cool violin shop that she went to so the three of us decided to go there one weekend. my friend ended up buying a viola and i told her i'd give her tips and stuff. she said right then and there that she'd stick to playing the violin primarily and work on the viola as like a side thing.

which is valid, you know? i was pretty much like "yeah okay that makes sense. you're more familiar with violin."

anways, it was at that point that I went up to my orchestra director and said that we needed a viola player and that I can switch over from my recently hard-earned violin 1 status and play viola so that we have a more balanced sound.

I was kinda excited about it at first because it has been a while since I played viola in an orchestra and it would be a fun challenge to solo a part! and in some ways, it has been fun.

but all of the arrangements we play in the orchestra are created by people in the orchestra and while I've played a lot of really difficult classical pieces on the viola before, this is not as challenging as what i was playing on violin 1.

which you know is fine? i'm okay with playing viola for this concert, but I think I do want to be able to switch around sometimes. like it would be really nice if I could even play violin for a few pieces in this upcoming concert, but I'm not gonna hope for it to happen because at this point, we're less than two months away.

so anyways, my friend DMs me earlier today and she's like "hey you know I think I do want to try playing my viola for like one song during rehearsal"

and i was like (considering how i've been feeling about orchestra lately) "hey yeah that's cool! we could even switch parts for a song if you want"

and she's like "oooh yeah that would be fun! what song do you think i can try?"

and i go to the list of pieces we're playing for this concert and, knowing that she's very new to viola and is still figuring out how to read alto clef, I pick out one of the easier pieces that we're doing.

and she's like "okay nice! i'll start practicing."

and I thought that was that but then she's like "which piece do you ideally want to play on the violin? keep in mind that i'm partial to playing violin 2 for these pieces:" and then she literally lists out 3 of the most fun challenging pieces that we're doing.

(also keep in mind that we're literally doing 9 pieces total. she just eliminated 3 of the ones that I can play, so that brings my options down to 6. i already suggested one that she can play viola for, so that brings it down to 5. she's also singing choir for one of the pieces, so we can't switch for that piece. now i'm down to 4.)

one of the four remaining pieces is a weird brass-heavy jazzy choir piece that honestly has suck-ish string parts across the board. no point in wanting to switch for that one.

3.

another other one is a really long piece that i actually did read the violin 2 part for in the past, but I know she's gonna struggle with the viola part given how long it is and everything.

2.

Of these two, there's one that's kinda fun to play on the violin and (imo) still pretty fun on the viola! so I tell her that's the one I'd ideally like to play on violin if we do switch

and immediately she's like "ohhhh wait I like that one too"

"sorry"

and i pause and i'm like what the fuck you literally left me with no other options man

i'm offering to do this switch for you. i originally switched to viola for the group, not for me. you're the one asking me if you can play the viola part.

i am doing you a favor here, not the other way around.

and more than that, if you're gonna stick with playing all the good, fun pieces on the violin, you're literally not going to enjoy the viola as much? like you're going into this with the expectation that the viola part is beneath you if you're holding onto all of the more fun pieces like this.

i've spent this entire season switching first from violin 2 to 1 and then to viola and now my friend's asking me to swap for a few pieces back to 2 and i'm just like,,,, bro I just wanna enjoy my orchestra experience

*exhales*

Anyways.

I was struggling to figure out why I was upset about this, and I usually find that writing things down helps me focus my thoughts. So yeah.

I'm upset because my friend is treating me like trash, even though she doesn't realize it. And I don't deserve to be treated like that.

anyways, my friend and I sorta hit a lull in our conversation but if she brings it up I'll straight up tell her that if she wants to play viola for a second piece she needs to let one of her faves go.

she was the one who asked me which piece I would ideally (key word: IDEALLY) like to play and then took away more than half of my options.

what else am I supposed to say to that?

oh yeah and one more thing! remember that she only wants to try this swap thing for rehearsal. she can't even let go of one of her fave pieces for a single rehearsal to try out something new?

ugh.

alright for real this time, i'm done.

[chrismho]

Lakmé

Summary: Is this not the closest I’ve ever been to living?  The Kurosaki Family invites Rukia along with them to the Opera. Ichiruki/Rukia-centric one-shot inspired by the opera scene in Moonstruck. Set a little bit after FB arc.

PS: It’s a pretty famous song but if you haven’t heard Flower Duet  before, I highly rec you give this rendition a listen, it’s breathtaking! : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9NK-EbUAao

“ICHIGOOOOOOO! RUKI-CHAAAAAN!” 

SMACK!

A day in the Kurosaki household was not complete without at least one collision between Isshin’s face and either Ichigo’s foot or fist. 

“I don't know how many times I have to tell you, old man: QUIT DOING THAT!” Ichigo roared, swiftly kicking his father back to the other side of the living room.

Rukia waited patiently for Isshin to complete this strange ritual, a fond smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “Oh, Masaki!” Isshin sobbed, throwing himself upon his poster. “H-how cruel, how unloving our son has become! And Rukia at his side, so pure and lovely! W-we truly have here a beauty and the beast!”

“SHUT IT!”

 The dark-haired shinigami watched them butt heads and felt a vague sense of nostalgia swirl inside her. I didn’t realize how much I…missed this, she silently admitted to herself. Seventeen months had passed and Rukia kept herself busy with work--very busy. Too busy to stop and realize just how much she missed life in Karakura. But now that she was back, the realization was sudden and overwhelming; she missed late night hollow-hunting, the bustling hallways at Karakura High, she missed Keigo, Mizuiro, Tatsuki, she missed indulging in her schoolgirl act, pretending that she was human and truly one of them. But most of all, she missed him. That was a realization that had set Rukia very much on edge. Ichigo was a comrade, a partner, a friend. A friend she found herself pining for in those seventeen months. She recalled a saying she learned in the human world, something along the lines of “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. 

Absence had only made Rukia’s heart confused as hell. 

Though almost two years had passed, her relationship with Ichigo picked up almost right where they left off. They bickered, laughed, they understood each other without need for words. But…now there was something new. No, not new; it had always been there. But now....now it was loud. And hard to ignore. It was something that Rukia couldn’t quite name, but its presence was undeniable. It wasn’t uncomfortable...but… but it was there. 

“What do you say, Rukia-chan? Oh, please say you’ll be joining us?”

Isshin’s question snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Eh? I-I’m sorry?” she asked, startled. 

“THE OPERA! An old buddy and colleague of mine has season tickets to the opera house here in Karakura. He’s away on a business trip so he gave me tickets to tomorrow’s show. We haven’t seen you in so long, the girls would just love if you came! SAY YOU’LL JOIN US!” 

“Don’t push her, Dad!” Ichigo said irritably. He turned to Rukia but didn’t meet her gaze. “Seriously, y-you don’t have to go. It’s really boring, the last time I went I wanted to die-”

“OH, BUT THAT’S NOT TRUE,” Isshin cut off gleefully, shoving Ichigo out of the way and putting an arm around Rukia. “The last time we went, Ichigo was but a boy. Though only eight at the time, he was so moved by the performance that he wept and blubbered all night long--” 

“HEY! N-NO I DIDN’T!”

“Yes, you did!” Karin called boredly from the kitchen. 

Ichigo hunched up his shoulders and scowled, his ears and cheeks an angry shade of red. 

“I’d be delighted to attend this...this ‘op-ohr-a’, Mr. Kurosaki!” Rukia declared, a cheerful and sparkly smile on her face. “Excellent! Come tomorrow evening at 7, and dress your very best, my dear! The opera is a most formal event,” Isshin beamed. 

“Whatever. And get your arm off her!” Ichigo grumbled, yanking Rukia away from his father and up the stairs to his room. 

“Ah, young love,” Isshin sighed after them.  “Eager to get her to your bedroom, I see? Yes, yes, I’m sure you have a lot of catching up to do, if you catch my drift--” 

“SHUT UP!” Ichigo screamed over his shoulder. He hurried Rukia inside his room and slammed the door shut. 

“Nice to see the family dynamic hasn’t changed,” Rukia said, a sly smile on her face. She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall alongside his bed. 

“1000 Yen says my dad’s got an ear pressed up to the door right now,” Ichigo replied. He sounded annoyed but there was a humorous glint in his eye. He looked up and met her gaze. They both dissolved into a quiet, gentle chuckle. 

“Feel free to sit, you know,” Ichigo said, gesturing towards the bed. “I know it’s been a while but time’s never stopped you from acting like you own this place.”

“No, that’s okay. I’m fine here,” Rukia responded, cursing herself for answering him a little too vehemently. Ichigo looked at her questioningly, and Rukia could have sworn she saw a very, very faint blush creep on his cheeks. A moment of silence passed. 

Tension. That’s what it was. 

“So what is this opera thing, anyway? I just realized I agreed to something I know nothing about,” Rukia asked, eager to change the subject and genuinely curious about this “most formal event” that moved a young Ichigo to tears. 

“It’s, uh, like a play. But with only singing. Really loud, annoying singing. And fancy costumes. And they usually end in tragedy.” Ichigo said, scratching the back of his head. 

Her amusement at his fumbling explanation made Rukia forget her discomfort earlier. She smirked and flopped onto his bed. “Sounds like fun. So this loud, annoying play moved you to tears, eh?”

“IT DID NOT-Hmph, *ahem*, It did not move me to tears, I told you already that I found it boring. And I SAID YOU COULD SIT ON MY BED, NOT LIE ON IT!” 

“Oh, Daddy, th-they’re on his bed already! They certainly are fast, aren’t they?” a muffled voice that sounded suspiciously like Yuzu’s could be heard saying from the other side of the door. 

Ichigo’s left eye twitched. 

He swung the door open and Isshin and Yuzu tumbled onto the floor. “SCRAM!” He roared, shaking his fist as they hurriedly fled the scene. 

_____

Giant, crystal chandeliers hung over the U-shaped hall, twinkling prettily in the warm, golden light. The house was packed with many well-dressed and well-to-do people. The euphony of various conversations and chatter rang pleasantly in the air. If Ichigo had been moved to tears by the place alone, Rukia would understand; it was truly, truly beautiful. She tilted her head back, taking in the glittering chandeliers and intricate paintings of flowers and stars on the ceiling. She must have looked visibly awestruck, for she turned to her side to find Ichigo looking back at her, an odd, almost tender smile on his face. She gave him a sharp elbow in the ribs. “What? What’s with that dumb look?” She snapped. 

“AGH! What the hell, Rukia?” He glared, letting out a sharp exhale before putting on another smile, this one more teasing. “N-nothing, I was just thinking...the last time I was here as a kid, I remember looking up at the paintings on the ceiling and counting all the stars as a way to pass the time. I guess I was just wondering if you were doing the same.” 

Rukia blinked. It was rare for Ichigo to divulge….well, really anything about his past and his memories. To share this random little anecdote felt oddly intimate. She felt her cheeks warm slightly and turned away. “Heh, no I wasn’t counting, I was just...admiring. She looked back up and couldn’t help but laugh. “Ichigo, there are hundreds of stars, up there! Did you really count them all?” He looked up too and smiled wryly, shaking his head. “Nah, the show always started and the lights would go off before I ever finished. But...I like that I don’t know. It’s this weird, unfinished mystery that just...stays up there on the ceiling, y’know?”

His amber eyes and fiery-orange hair glowed in the warm light of the hall. He glowed. Does he even know how handsome he looks in that stupid tux? Rukia thought, torn between feeling endeared and annoyed. And spewing out weird, lovely musings like that, too. What an idiot. 

She looked down at the program in her lap. In intricate, gold cursive, the words Lakmé: Opera en 3 Actes shone smack dab in the middle. “Is...is this in French?” she asked. “Yeah, but it’s okay; you see those black screens above the curtains up there? They’ll have translations…”

The lights began to dim. 

Quickly, stealthily, Ichigo stole one last look at Rukia in full light. She was already a beautiful woman but tonight she practically glowed. With the help of Yuzu and Karin, she had parted her cropped hair to one side and teased it into elegant waves. She had reluctantly let them put makeup on her, too, and Ichigo had a hard time keeping his eyes away from her lips, soft and painted red like a pomegranate. She was wearing a dress that Ishida had surprised her with a few weeks ago, a wine-colored sleeveless piece that gently hugged her form and flowed past her knees. Yeah. She glowed. It was annoying. 

Y’know, I bet she knows exactly how good she looks and is only pretending to be oblivious. He thought. What an idiot.

The red velvet curtains pulled back to reveal what looked like a stone courtyard on stage, adorned with all sorts of plants and exotic flowers. But the set was nothing compared to the music that emanated from the pit in front of the stage. She’d never heard anything like this. Not on the streets of Rukongai, nor in the banquets and gatherings in Seireitei. What was it Ichigo had called them? An orchestra. An orchestra, an orchestra, an orchestra. She had to remember that word. How so many voices, so many different strange and wonderful-looking instruments, could come together and create a sound so unified and sweet amazed her. 

A procession of people dressed in long, unstitched garments came onto the stage, singing words Rukia could not understand. A big man, clad in a costume beard and yellow robe, opened his mouth and began to sing a solo.

Rukia froze. 

It was obvious what he was doing required much skill, but….he sounded...funny? Rukia narrowed her eyes and fought a smile, trying to reason with this deep voice that shook with such a fervent vibrato. 

She heard a snicker two chairs away from her, and turned to see Karin in the dim light, her face contorted humorously. Rukia was about to join her before Isshin turned to his daughter with a glare so scary and dangerous that any humor at all in both Karin and Rukia was effectively vanquished. 

So entranced was she by the costumes and lights and flutes and cellos that the dark-haired shinigami found herself forgetting to glance up at the translations above the stage. She looked just enough times to gather that this was set in a temple in which rites were being performed. The ritual ended, and as smoothly as they glided in, the singers drifted back off the stage, leaving behind two women. 

The women, arm in arm, walked down to the “river” on stage to gather flowers. The one dressed in red turned to her companion and began to sing:

Viens, Mallika, les lianes en fleurs

Jettent déjà leur ombre

Sur le ruisseau sacré

qui coule, calme et sombre,

Eveillé par le chant des oiseaux tapageurs.

Rukia froze once more. This time, there was no urge to laugh. Goosebumps rose on her arms. Her ears tingled. What, Rukia thought shakily. What is this?

The other, dressed in a simpler, sun-colored dress answered her friend in a voice just as haunting and sweet:

Oh! maîtresse, c'est l'heure

où je te vois sourire,

L'heure bénie où je puis lire

Dans le coeur toujours fermé

De Lakmé!

 Rukia clenched her teeth, maintaining a stone-cold Kuchiki expression while her soul inside shook and quaked. 

What is this?

                                                 Dôme épais le jasmin

                        Sous le dôme épais où le blanc jasmin

Like flowers landing on the surface of a pond, their voices floated, glided, rippled through the hall, lighter than air. 

                                                    À la rose s'assemble

                                        À la rose s'assemble

The melody seemed to follow some invisible wave that drifted down, then up, then down, and down again. It was elegantly unpredictable, like the path a feather takes on the way to the ground.

Rukia’s throat caught. The swelling in her chest bewildered and almost angered her. This...this beauty was almost cruel. Her eyes felt hot. Her face remained expressionless.

                                                 Rive en fleurs, frais matin,

                             Sur la rive en fleurs, riant au matin,

I never did get the chance to understand what it is to live, Rukia thought. She had, in fact, died when she was only a baby. 

I....could see traces of what life was in the youth and excitement of Ichigo and his friends...the sound of their laughter, their chatter about the future.

                                                 Nous appellent ensemble.

                                       Viens, descendons ensemble.

With each rise and fall of their voices, Rukia felt as though her soul was expanding. The singers’ figures became blurry behind the tears that began to well in her eyes.

But this…this swelling in my chest, and the goosebumps on my skin. My throat...feels tight. 

A tear broke free and began to trickle down her cheek. 

Is this not the closest I’ve ever been to living?

Ichigo gazed steadily at the stage, letting himself float and drift with the melody. It was no wonder the Flower Duet was such a famous song, even to those unfamiliar with opera. He cleared his throat as quietly as he could and turned to check on Rukia. His jaw clenched. 

                                               Ah! glissons en suivant

                           Doucement glissons; De son flot charmant

She stood absolutely still, upright, her small, pale hands clenched into fists on her lap. She did not look at him. He watched with well-hidden astonishment as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She stared solemnly at the women on stage, blinking slowly. Her amethyst eyes glistened with the water and salt that filled them. 

                                                         Le courant fuyant

                                  Suivons le courant fuyant

A lump began to form in Ichigo’s throat. He turned away, back to the stage. He couldn’t put into words what she was feeling, but he felt he understood it. He didn’t want to intrude on her moment, but he also wanted to let her know that she was not alone. Even when they were worlds apart, he’d find a way to reach her. Slowly, his hand moved towards hers. 

His fingertips lightly brushed her wrist, and traveled up towards the back of her hand. 

Rukia kept her eyes fixed on the singers. She gave no indication that she even noticed his hand on hers. A twinge of disappointment and embarrassment stung him. I...probably ruined her moment. I shouldn’t have-

His heart stopped. Silently, suddenly, the slender, cold hand seized his own. She intertwined her fingers with his and squeezed lightly. She did not look at him. 

                                                     Dans l'onde frémissante,

                                      Dans l’onde frémissante

To this day Ichigo couldn’t say what the hell compelled him to do what he did next. Maybe it was the nearly two years of separation, or the swelling music and stupid, glittering, chandeliers messing with his head, or the way she gripped his fingers with such a quiet and loving intensity, or a mix of all of those things. Slowly, he raised her hand up, off her lap. 

                                                   D'une main nonchalante,

                                      D’une main nonchalante,

Rukia stirred, tilting her head slightly towards him. He brought her hand up to his face and slowly, gently, firmly, pressed his lips against her knuckles. Rukia’s eyes flashed wide open, and now she turned to look at him. Another tear rolled silently down her otherwise stoic face. Ichigo opened his eyes and looked back at her. 

                                            Dôme épais, blanc jasmin,

                             Sous le dôme épais, Sous le blanc jasmin,

Nothing was said, but a thousand words were exchanged between them. Ichigo lowered her hand but did not let go. They held their gaze for a moment longer, then turned their heads back towards the stage. 

                                                      Nous appellent ensemble!

                                    Ah! descendons ensemble!

[vampiresuns]

Fine Arts and Equally Fine People

1,845 words. In which Cadenza and Dante decide to have a little competition to woo Amparo Cassano, but Dante’s attention is taken away by someone else. Anatole flexes his language abilities for someone, and Milenko runs after a certain Countess.

Cadenza and Dante belong to @arcanecadenza​.

Dante and Cadenza looked at the poster announcing the play they came to see in Vesuvia’s Community Theatre. A painted poster depicting a scene with the characters of the Operetta, announcing “La Cassano'' as the main character above the name of the play. 

“That’s her,” Dante said, Cadenza still silently looking at the poster, her eyes tracing the lines of Amparo’s smile.

“It is. Let’s get in.”

The siblings got inside, showing the tickets they had already purchased, in the standing Yard. Cadenza would’ve preferred to be sitting in one of the galleries, but they had been told by the cast of the play (and Amparo herself) that many of the acts and intermissions were interactive, so a Yard position might be more fun, if they desired to experience the play in full. Besides, the play had already been going for some time, so it wouldn’t be as packed as it was during the first weeks of it. 

“Did you bring her anything?” Dante asked as they handed their coats in the coat check. “I wasn’t really sure of what the exact Vesuvian custom is, and then I thought everyone must bring her flowers, then I didn’t know who to ask and books were not very illustrative on the matter—”

“So?”

“So I brought her a self-refilling pen. Actors need to mark scripts all the time, don’t they?”

Cadenza hummed as she gave a coin to an usher in exchange for a program for the play. “I brought her tea. Asra said she always asked him to brew her some tea when she was over?”

Dante gave her a betrayed look. 

“What? He’s a friend of hers.”

“That’s cheating.”

“I would’ve brought her tea anyway.” 

“That’s still cheating.”

Cadenza decided to focus on the program, which explained the basic argument of the play, had a list of the dramatis personae and the name of whom they were played by, as well as other tidbits here and there. It was useful to take her away from her nerves. Cadenza didn’t exactly know what she was doing, even if she was confident enough in herself. It felt almost like a date without being a date (and with her brother there), not to mention gift-giving had never been her forte. She had been too busy to compose something for Amparo, but she had wanted to. Maybe she would be able to later. 

She hoped she was. She had been beautiful and so sure of herself in her flowing dress; her lips were defined and always curving up slightly, her hands soft as they had brushed with Cadenza’s, telling her how she wished she could make it to the play, not just for herself but for the play’s sake. 

“But I do hope I’m reason enough,” she had added, clearly flirting. Cadenza had told her she would be better company than her brother in a streak of competitiveness, making Amparo laugh. 

Cadenza found herself playing with the corners of the program, dog earring them; she frowned at it and offered it to her brother. 

Her brother didn’t respond. 

“Dante? Dante. Dante.” She rolled her eyes, leaning her shoulder against her brother’s. 

“Uh? Oh, I wasn’t looking.”

A blush began to bloom on Dante’s cheeks, Cadenza giving him a funny look as he began fidgeting, throwing one last glance in the general direction he had been looking, before taking the program out of Cadenza’s hands. Cadenza followed the direction of her brother’s gaze and finally saw him, recognition dawning on her. He was as blond as ever, animatedly talking to a man with dark, bronze brown curls, dressed in black. 

She couldn’t help but to give a curious look to her brother. “I didn’t know you knew Anatole.”

“You know him too?”

“Dante, I’m pretty sure half of Vesuvia knows who he is, but yes, we have tea together sometimes. Well, I have tea, I’ve only ever seen him drink coffee. He’s a friend.” She paused, in the background the orchestra still played. “Where do you know him from?” 

“The palace library,” the program was now completely forgotten in Dante’s hands. “I run into him from time to time, but we never visit the same sections. We talk sometimes, he’s, hm, very charming.”

The play began not very long after, the siblings dropping the subject altogether, even if Dante still seemed to steal looks towards the box Anatole was sitting in. The play was everything it promised to be and more: Amparo had been right, standing on the yard was never tedious, tiring. Something was always happening that took your attention away from standing on your feet — an actor would run through, someone would begin in an Aria in the middle of the crowd, leaving you to wonder when they got there. 

Amparo herself was stunning. Her voice was clear and melodic, capable of softness and drama; when she danced, the stage moved with her, the lights dancing to her lead. She transformed on stage, and Cadenza felt herself be transformed with it.

The crowd clapped, the siblings joining the ovation, and eventually the theatre began being evacuated. The siblings did as Amparo had told them too: they went backstage, announcing themselves. One of the lyricists of the Opera volunteered to go let Amparo know, and as soon as she cleared them, the lyricist came back to guide them through the hecticness which was the backstage of Vesuvia’s community theatre, asking them their opinion on the play. 

“We don’t really have private changing rooms but this is La Cassano, she’s too delightful not to let her get away with a little of this. Not that I need to tell you two, hm?” She said, cheeky. 

Amparo emerged from beyond a curtain. “Zinovia, don’t torment my guests! Only I can do that.” As a hello she winked to the siblings, holding the curtain open for them to come in. “I’m so glad you too could make it! Please, make yourself comfortable.”

The changing room, which was really just a space separated by dividers and colourful curtains, was not very personalised. Zinovia had been right when she said this wasn’t Amparo’s own changing room and in fact had space for more people. It was still cozy, if a little messy, with puffs to sit as well as a patched up armchair. 

Amparo sat in the chair of one of the vanities in the room, wearing a well loved, dark blue robe. 

“I do have my own changing room in the other theatre, so I hope you’re not put off by people announcing themselves in and out. If you’d prefer more privacy, we could always grab drinks afterward, I think I know just the place.”

With the mention of drinks, Cadenza mentioned the tea, saying it was inside the pockets of her coat. Amparo, lightly touching her arm, told her not to worry, she could send someone to retrieve the coats. “It’s nothing, I promise.” 

Before she could do anything, a voice came from beyond the robe. It was Anatole’s. “Are you decent and are you available, Lele?” 

Amparo snorted. “I’m not decent, but I’m wearing clothes, if that’s what you’re wondering.” She opened the curtain with one swift motion. “And almost always available for you two. Cadenza, Dante, these are Anatole and Milenko — my cousins.” 

“Oh, I do know both of you,” Anatole added with a smile.

“I don’t!” Milenko said cheerily. “Hi!”

While Milenko gave Amparo a quick kiss on her temple, congratulating her for the performance, Anatole gave Cadenza a friendly wave, but, to the latter’s amusement, focused on her brother. “Non sapevo che fosse tuo fratello, Cadenza. Dante, è un piacere, come sempre,” he took Dante’s hand to bring his knuckles to his lips. “I also didn’t know you two liked Opera, what a delightful coincidence. Amparo, Lenko, should we all go to get something to drink afterwards.”

Milenko had his head poking outside of the curtains, and was yelling a thank you back at someone. “I have to run.”

Anatole raised his eyebrows at him. Amparo gave him a quizzical, yet amused look “Because...?” She said.

“Apparently the Countess was discreetly watching the play with one of her sisters, and they’re leaving, so I have to go like, right now, I’m going, I’m gone.” 

Amparo’s and Anatole’s attention was taken away from the Alighieri siblings, as they encouraged Milenko and wished him luck, telling him to run fast and to go already, watching him get through the backstage crowd as he turned to yell back at his cousins that Nadia was what beauty itself should look like. Amparo laughed, and Anatole rolled his eyes.

“So,” Cadenza began, sitting on the armchair and straightening the nonexisting wrinkles in her dress, “you talk sometimes.”

“We’ve only talked, Cadenza.” 

“I win then?”

Dante paused. He looked at his sister, then at Anatole, who was talking about something he couldn’t make out with Amparo. “Okay, fine you win.”

“I did say she would find I’m better company.”

Dante didn’t have a chance to argue, because Amparo and Anatole had their attention back on them, asking them if they would like to go for drinks with them afterwards. Neither Cadenza nor Dante found a reason to complain. 

Soon enough their coats were retrieved. Dante took out the self-refilling pen, but Amparo politely declined. “I do mark up my scripts all the time, but I am sure Anatole will find that a little more useful. He collects quills after all.”

“You do?”

“I do,” his smile was inviting, bright, his eyes curious, looking between Dante’s face and his hands.

“Take it then, it’s yours.” 

With Dante’s attention otherwise occupied, Amparo took her chance to sit closer to Cadenza. She played with her own hair, taking it to the side so it fell over her shoulder.

“Thank you,” she said, leaning forward, resting her chin on her hand, her arm propped over her knee. “The tea smells fantastic. Did you enjoy the play?”

“Very much, your singing is stunning.”

Amparo smiled, her playful intensity folding over and away, a quiet kind coming in its replacement as her dark, green eyes scanned Cadenza’s face. “Thank you,” her tongue poked out between her lips when she said ‘thanks’. “I like it very much that you could come. Let me finish changing, and we’ll be on our way, is that alright?”

“Alright.”

“Alright,” Amparo repeated as she stood up, a smile reserved only for Cadenza on her face. 

In the background, the sounds of the backstage crowd of technics, direction and actors blended with Dante’s impassioned conversation with Anatole about the principles of transmutation. Cadenza was sure she had heard Anatole say before that alchemy is nothing he is very versed at, yet he seemed to be holding the conversation just fine. Perhaps she’d ask the next time she saw him, perhaps she’d forget to. Right now, following Amparo as she got behind a divider to get dressed and talk about the play and the rest of their night with her seemed like a much better prospect. 

[princessofguineapigs]

A Straight Line to You | Harry Holland Chapter 1

What person is this? First? Second? Third? Who knows? Prepare to know some of Y/N’s thoughts and some of Harry’s. But I’m still telling the story to you about you so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also, I’m taking suggestions for how this story should progress.

University AU

The sound of voices singing let you know that you were getting close to the choir room at last. You kept getting lost in this large university building. All the buildings on campus were hard to navigate, but the music building was a true labyrinth.

You reached the doors of the classroom and tried to slide in discreetly, slowly shutting them behind you to keep from making noise. With the cacophony of voices, you don’t think anyone heard you come in. Certainly, no one saw you. You were used to being invisible.

You slipped in at the middle row of sopranos. The choir never stopped their song, even as you pulled out the packet of music you received the day prior. Being a transfer student, you weren’t sure of the protocol, but you were quick to identify which song they were on and began sight reading the music and singing softly. Thank god it was a song without many accidentals.

When the song finished, the director cleared his throat. 

“As you all know, in a few months, it will be time for our winter concert. This year’s performance has the potential to be a great one, especially with the orchestra accompanying us,” he said.

There were a few twitters of excitement in the group.

He continued on, “That’s why, I want to start the audition process for the Laudate Dominum solo next week. Any of you who wish to have a shot should start preparing. Now, let’s get back to it.”

With a nod to the pianist, the class went on to the next song.

*

Harry noticed her right away. The choir crescendoed in unison right before she entered the room, but the second she walked through the door, Harry’s voice faltered and all he heard was deafening silence. Everyone around him continued with the song, but it was as if all his senses left him except his sight. The miraculous vision before him was lovelier than any girl he’d seen before.

He craned his neck and watched this angel make her way unobtrusively to the other side of the risers. He knew then that he had to hear her sing. But there were too many voices for him to ever make out her voice like this.

When Dr. Cieber announced the solo audition, he prayed she would try out. He told himself he would introduce himself to her, so he spent the rest of rehearsal gathering the courage.

When it ended, Harry gathered up his things and strode over to her.

“Hey,” he said, lamely, kicking himself. Damn. He didn’t have a line. He didn’t even know what to say. He was so not smooth.

You felt surprised that someone was talking to you. You were notoriously shy and didn’t know why this super attractive guy had come over to you. Nervous, you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear.

You didn’t know why your heart was suddenly thumping out of your chest.

“I’m Harry,” he said, tucking his hands into his jean pockets. He was wearing a red jumper that made his ginger curls look even redder.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, still feeling unsure.

“I’m Y/N,” you introduced yourself.

“Are you...are you new?” he asked. He seemed nervous too. And so adorable. Wait, what? 

“Yeah, I’m a transfer,” you answered.

“I’m glad you joined choir,” Harry said, “What class have you got next?”

“Chemistry, it’s my last class of the day.”

“Hey, that’s great. My next class is in the same building. I can walk you there,” said Harry, “ y’know, if you want,” he amended shyly.

You’d gotten lost so many times today, you decided to take him up on it. Plus, you wanted to get to know at least one person at this school.

You put your bag over your shoulder and Harry picked up the books you’d been carrying that didn’t fit.

“You don’t have to do that,” you protested. You weren’t used to people doing things for you.

“What kind of gentleman would I be if I let you carry these heavy things yourself?”

You smiled gratefully.

“Let’s go then,” you said.

*

The next day, you were on your way to morning classes when you got a text from Harry. You had exchanged numbers after he walked you to class. When you read it you got butterflies.

Harry had asked you to meet up for lunch. Your morning was a blur of note-taking as your mind reeled ahead to when you’d see him next. Ugh, you had it bad and you’d only known him for a day.

When you reached the cafeteria, Harry was waiting for you.

“Let’s grab a table,” he said. In an old-fashioned gesture, he pulled out a chair for you.

“How have your first few classes been?” he asked.

“It’s beginning to shape into a tough workload already,” you laughed, “but I think I can handle it. I always liked school when I was a kid.”

“Nerd,” he quipped.

“And you’re not?” you cocked an eyebrow.

“Well, I’m not the smartest of my brothers,” responded.

“Your brothers? How many?”

“There’s four of us,” Harry said, “My younger brother Paddy, my twin Sam, and my older brother Tom.”

“So who is the smartest?”

Harry thought for a moment, “Sam.” he decided.

“So you’re saying you’re the stupid twin?” you joked.

“Hey, that’s not what I said!” Harry shouted a bit too loudly, but there was a smile on his face.

“So, do you think you’ll go out for the choir solo?” Harry asked, changing the subject.

You nearly spit out your tea. Where had that question come from?

“I don’t think so. I’m not confident enough to sing a solo,” you answered.

“Aw, I’m sure you sing beautifully. You’re so pretty with a speaking voice to match. I bet your singing voice is just as lovely.”

You blushed all the way to your ears. Meanwhile, Harry couldn’t believe he’d said that out loud.

As you and Harry talked, you found yourself staring into his eyes more. His irises were unusually detailed. They were brown and warm, but like a thick molasses with flecks of light caught in it.

Eventually, you did have to leave. This time, your classes weren’t in the same building. Harry offered to walk you anyway, but you declined. You didn’t want to make him late for this own class.

*

With your red jacket zipped up tight against the wind, you made your way back to your dorm, bag over your shoulder and books in hand. As you walked alone, you thought to yourself that you should probably make an effort to get to know some other people. Maybe some other girls.

You had seen a flyer for a forensic science study group. You could use some study partners and the girls in your class seemed nice. Maybe it would be fun. You had an hour to decide. In either case, you wanted to freshen up in your room first. 

Once you were ready (you had settled on going) you took a deep breath. You could do this. There was nothing to worry about. Just a study group. No big deal. You might even make a friend. Plus you needed to think about something other than Harry. You’d see him tomorrow at choir.

*

At the study session, you were greeted by a girl you recognized sat in the front row of your class.

“Hey, Y/N, right?” she beamed at you.

“Yeah, and you’re Briana?”

She nodded.

“We just got started. No one wants to study alone,” she said.

You sat down with the other girls.

“I’ve been so lost on this assignment,” you admitted.

“Let me take a look at what you’ve done so far,” Briana said. She skimmed over your work and the notes that accompanied it.

“I think we can work through this together,” said announced. 

You felt relieved. She was being so nice.

After a few hours of homework and studying, the conversation dissolved into girl talk.

“I know you’ve only been on campus for a few days, but tell me, have you spotted any guys you’re interested in,” Briana questioned.

It was a bit nosy, but you hadn’t had anyone to talk to about your love life in a long time. Plus you felt like you could trust her.

“Well, there’s a guy I met the other day. I know it’s early, but I think I’m falling for him,” you said quietly.

“Oooo, what’s he like?”

You sighed, “He’s like a dream, honestly. He’s the first person I met here and we connected so easily. I feel at peace when I’m with him, though I’ve only known him two days.”

Briana giggled, “What’s his name?”

You shook your head, “Sorry, not today. I’m not sure I want to tell people yet. I don’t want him to know.”

“Aw, I won’t tell,” she pouted.

You stood up, “I should get back to my dorm.”

“See you in class!” Briana yelled after you.

The moonlight cast shadows on the walkway as you scurried through the dark streets. You had no reason to feel unsafe, but you were paranoid anyway. The stars sparkled brightly above you. It could have been a romantic walk if you had someone to walk with. 

Just then you paused. Were there footsteps behind you? Surely not. You were almost to the end of the street where you needed to turn. Your dorm was at the beginning of the next one.

You glanced back. You didn’t see anyone behind you. You must have imagined it. Taking faster steps now, you carried on. Your own footsteps were light. The ones in your imagination were heavy. Funny, how our minds could do that.

You moved to round the corner. And time slowed down. Hands grabbed you from behind and you screamed as you were dragged backwards. You could feel your sneakers scraping helplessly over the pavement. You twisted and struggled against the arms. You felt the hardness of the back of your head smacking into something brick or stone. Your vision blurred and you felt darkness take over your senses.

End of Chapter 1

[blankdblank]

Hobbit Soulmate Pt 26

Five feet off the ground in a grand jete you could catch the sliver of light backstage hinting that another person had snuck into your set. All week among the other cast members from Elektra Jennifer Garner took to watching your dance numbers thrilled to see just how talented the littlest of the extras actually was off set. For Daredevil in café’s you had been building some interest as a stray kitten had taken to you. A slipped pet here and at the first roll of thunder the kitten came onto set through the fake street and into the café luring attention from the other extras and main pair of actors at its trot to your costumed self to climb to your shoulder and burrow in your hair. Spending each day since following you about until you took it home to the ranch with you to keep it safe.

Hours you had been here and this was the third number you had filmed, out of the eight numbers you were doing well on time and were due for another before being sent home for the others to film their roles on the secondary sets. Again Richard was in the audience, merely with a camera aimed at him recording his reactions while his gangly self ‘snuck’ into the shows that the ringmaster would end each number by shouting at you.

Changing again you sat on your makeup chair pressing your thumbs into the sides of your left hamstring feeling the same twinge you had felt for the past two days. Inches from tearing your muscle the filming of your non dance scenes in the first half of the film had been recorded after a slipped chord from a fight scene for Elektra had you on the verge of tears and on a crutch to rest your leg. The doctor had cleared you to work, unlike the other stunt man who fractured his collar bone when his wiring failed as well. For what you loved about the film the endless strain of the ballet side of this had you deciding that your last touring show for ballet was just that, your last. Another film could be tolerated but the endless weeks of shows would have to stop if it could end up weakening your body in other roles requiring you to be at your peak.

Everything hurt but with a helping of some heating cream the muscle loosened up and you were able to complete the day. Once changed however if your decision hadn’t already been made you felt relieved to find a voicemail on your phone from your grandparents hoping that you would focus on films before you did face an injury like your grandfather had nearly lost his own career to. They fully agreed dance films were acceptable but the near possible break or worse to your leg had them rethinking their plans for you knowing the pain of those injuries all too well.

Wrapped with a heating pad and elevated in an empty chair the leg rested while you watched Richard and your father pull dinner together. Again Richard glanced your way asking, “Feeling better?”

“Little bit. Oh, I got a call earlier.” That had the pair looking your way, “Babu and Babushka about my leg, suggesting I retire from performing ballet.”

Your Father settled a hand on the counter, “Wow. Never thought I’d hear that.”

You shrugged, “They remember their own injuries and with it being my lower leg that could have been worse they think it best if I stick to ballet films and not full touring shows.”

Richard, “Are you okay with that?”

You nodded, “Funny thing is I was thinking it through the morning, and then on lunch I got the message.”

Your father nodded, “Have you called them back?”

“Not yet, no they said they had to be up early for a fundraiser. I’ll call them on their tomorrow at a reasonable hour.”

Richard nodded and asked, “Any word from Lee yet?”

“Uh, nope, after that screen test thing he said he was off to the airport.”

Your father asked, “To where?”

You shrugged, “No clue. He is a man of mystery this month and up to something. I hope it’s a role ‘cuz he’s been a bit, not off but just, distant I guess since hearing about the filming here.”

Richard chuckled saying, “My guess being he’s planning on visiting. Oklahoma’s not far, right?”

Your father shook his head, “Bout half a day drive depending on how far you want to go. Does he know where we live?”

“I, don’t know. Think so, he mentioned sending a snow globe or something.”

Your father chuckled and said, “We’ll keep an eye open for any teens lurking about.”

.

While days were spent filming nights were all your own. A special request while word you had worked with Howard Shore in the last minute drop of the uncooperative sound crew you were hired. Now on top of acting, singing, playing the violin and dancing lead the score was now yours. Though it didn’t come out of nowhere as you had provided the music for the dance numbers while in the first rehearsals before filming when the former crew had all but refused to grant the director anything to work with beyond a metronome beat. Just like before hums were not foreign on set and even Richard found himself joining in while you kept notepad on hand to write down all you had popping into your head.

Distraction was needed while word spread that Daredevil would be split into two films, one for him and another for Elektra and there was so much doubt on how little your part would be dwindled to if visible at all. Alternating day and night shoots often found you here in the music room, up with violin in hand or at the piano playing to a cassette recorder singing along the words you came up with. In Russian, French and Gaelic you would sing with a fourth you hummed, both operatic and lullabies to barely over a whisper. Each helped through with lyrics by Richard and your father when hearing you were stuck.

The best song though, the one you loved came out like air and sent chills down the spines of all who heard it on the business side of the film beside the beaming Director, even in the rough cut needed to be rerecorded in an actual studio. Down Below, My Bedfellow, the name of the soaring signature song played in your ride away to the new future at the end of the film. A duet with Richard he worked his way into by bringing over his cello he had sent for from England weeks prior to sit up and play with you, adoringly filling in more blanks on the song from his own heart. More time, that was what it was, even when joined in on by your father who copied note for note the song as you wrote it notes and all, simply beaming at the love song dripping with the love and adoration you shared on and off the screen. Soon enough it all was re-recorded in studio topped off with a full choir your family was all to eager to join to bring your project to life alongside the full orchestra to fill in the rest of the score as well led by you.

All this while you were given more snippets in Daredevil, even to the point where you were in the background at the big fancy party right before Elektra’s father is killed. Fittings for that however put your groggy humming self in the path of Colin Farrell alongside another for your stewardess costume, an extra role making you a blonde and granting you a couple lines at least confirmation by the Director you would not be cut at least entirely from the division of the original film. Also confirming that in said groggy interactions with Colin you had made another friend who was altogether impressed on how you could go from napping to bright eyed and bubbly for the action call at the drop of a hat. A friendship ending with a trading of emails, due to his frequency of changing his number, when schedules split you up again making lunches or dinners as a group were impossible to manage.

.

Sure enough while you received the third call of the day concerning the About A Boy premier the next day the doorbell had your head tilting to the door that your father had stood up from his place reading on the couch while Richard toweled off from his shower to wash off the makeup from his neck and face. “Oh man.” The words had you smirking but not as much as the voice saying them.

Softly you sighed hearing the voice through the phone still speaking to another in the room for the third try to somehow argue that you would somehow be able to fly out to England and make the premier anyways starting in ten hours. They hung up promising to work some magic making you roll your eyes and toss your phone onto the couch by your feet to lay your arms over your face tilting your head back a moment onto the arm of the chair you were lounging in after work. “Long day?”

Easing your arms down your head turned in your lifting twist to stand up for a hug from Lee, who melted around you, “There you are, trying to be all sneaky.”

“Hey,” he said pulling back, “How else am I supposed to keep you on your toes?” After stealing a glance at your father on his way to the kitchen, he whispered, “You never said he was so big, and your uncles are all the same size, went to the big house first and they sent me here.”

“Well they won’t eat you.” You giggled out making him smile wider at you, “You drove all the way here?”

“Yes, only have a week off,”

Your father came back with handfuls of sodas he passed one each to the two of you and sat down again in his former spot luring Lee to sit on the end near your chair, “Good, if you need a place to crash you are welcome here. Got the spare Murphy bed in the office.” Glancing your way he opened his soda asking, “Everything alright on the phone Pumpkin?”

“Ah, just someone trying to reverse the rotation of the earth so I could somehow make a flight to London and be there for the premier in ten hours while also being on set tomorrow out here. Said they’d work some magic.”

Lee chuckled asking, “Which premier is this one?”

“The one with Hugh Grant, About A Boy, I’m just one of the random single moms he dates there barely a week I doubt I’ll be a huge blip on screen. Anyways there’s one in New  York in two weeks if they insist while I’m off out there for the Enough film with Jennifer Lopez.”

Lee, “You’re working, how could they be mad for you missing it?”

You shrugged again taping your nail on the top of your soda, “Who knows. Highly doubt I could have any significant chunk of the film with a week of footage. I mean, there’s Hugh, the kid, the kid’s mom and a future girlfriend, Rachel something. That’s the main cast. Love interest number four, can’t be that-,”

Richard came out and smirked patting Lee’s shoulder, “Had a hunch you were dropping in on us.”

Lee grinned at his move to claim your soda and open it for you, to spare your fake nails still on from the set, then pass it back on his way to get a drink himself and sit down between Lee and your father. “How could I miss a chance to see you guys again. And I do have to say,” looking at you he said pointing at you, “I’ve seen Lord of the Rings five times. Can’t help it and can’t wait for it to be out on tape.”

Richard chuckled, “You and me both, and eventually there will be an extended cut edition as well with extra scenes I am waiting for.”

Lee smiled at you asking, “How is filming going? Leg better?”

“Yes, much better. Filming is good, another week left.”

Lee wet his lips asking, “When is it out?”

“Early next year. Certainly be a film to add to my books.”

Lee chuckled, “Hey, I played burlesque dancer, so, not that odd of a choice.”

You nodded giggling, “Oh yes, ballet dancing Selkie.”

Your father said in your sip on the soda, “Certainly original.” Making you smile lowering the can.

.

“You are coming?” rolled onto your side your eyes cracked open registering Jennifer Lopez’ voice.

“This about the premier?”

“Ya, you had that job but you’ll be off then, right?”

“Yup, just flew into New  York last night.”

A sharp exhale sounded through the line as your face settled into your mattress while Richard shifted to rest his head on your back cuddling closer again refusing to miss a moment of your final week together before he was due back in England. “Oh that’s good. How’d your flight go?”

“More of a rollercoaster than a flight. All bumps and then there was some hail, had to land in Tennessee and wait two hours to continue on to New York.”

“Oh that sucks,”

“Not really they have nice ribs there. How’s it with you? Heard you had a tv thing, Letterman?”

She chuckled, “Yes, been crazy with the press for this thing, but work is work. When are you doing press for yours?”

“If I do, maybe the winter. Which winter in Russia should be lovely. Have to enjoy sweater weather.” Making her chuckle again.

“Yes, yes you do.” After a moment she asked, “I heard something, you, don’t have an agent yet?”

“No, agent’s want money and I don’t get paid for last year’s work for another couple months until the first film is out of theaters and the others staggered for the same.”

“You don’t have any money, like, at all?”

Weakly you chuckled replying, “My rent is paid through the year, cash saved for my phone and food, just don’t have retainer fees level cash. Rich’s agent though tends to share what he hears about me for London work.”

“Like for couple jobs?”

“Not yet, but that’s what he’s aiming for. People there know I know him so I helps to draw attention to Rich too.”

To the continued use of his name he pressed a kiss into your back and nestled closer lifting the covers to help fight the next draft blowing through the apartment. “That’s good. I just want you to do well.”

“I know, thank you for that. I got people, just not big people. Tons of tips flow my way.”

You could almost hear her smirk in asking, “You got people?”

“I got people. Everybody has ears Jen.”

“Oh I know that. Always gotta be careful what you say and to who.” Making you smirk as she missed your point meant to mean that your latest tips had come from a delivery guy you went to school with who fired you a message for what the latest job he went to was looking for in a female lead. It was an interesting part but the request of swallowing a live octopus for the audition had you tapping out when they insisted it was the big marker for the female lead you were assured to be perfect for.

“Yes, from what I hear I do have to ask how is your fifth love child with your seventh fiancé?” Making her laugh at the combination of all the titles in the gossip rags, “I do hope I’m invited to this wedding you’ve skipped me for the last three.”

“I promise you, I get married you will be right up front… Hmm?” She asked someone else near her who said something making her pause to say, “I gotta go hun, but I will see you on the red carpet.”

“Yes you will, have fun.”

“I will, you too hun. Bye, Bye.” Hanging up allowing you to set down your phone and sigh settling back into your mattress.

Behind you Richard rumbled groggily, “You missed the best part sharing your people bring the best snacks.”

In a giggle you rolled over and he eased you down with a loop of his arm around your side planting his lips warmly on yours, “Some people don’t realize how helpful delivery guys can be for big tippers and old schoolmates.” Claiming another kiss then settling your forehead against his to get a bit more sleep with your still drowsy teddy bear clinging tight to you.

.

Clad in a simple indigo velvet short sleeved dress over black tights and your glittery heeled ankle boots you stood fixing your hair into a ponytail as Richard fashioned his tie. Nice and simple you dressed for the About a Boy premier and shouldered your phone to fix your mascara answering the call confirming the car sent for you was downstairs. It had been relentless with several confirmations this week you were indeed free and shouldering the crème clutch with cute accenting folds in the fabric over the top flap. Right off Richard claimed your hand locking up to walk with you to walk down to the car. With a grin you kindly greeted the driver who looked you over then flashed an awkward grin to Richard who shook that off and climbed in after you keeping hold of your hand.

Everyone you seemed to talk to shared a sense of relief. Hugh especially once Rachel, who you hadn’t met on set had come to greet you after having heard about you, came to greet you, leaving an interview to do so. “There you are,”

“Why do I feel like I’m in the Principal’s office?”

To that he chuckled and shook his head patting your arm, “Not at all. Simply, we heard you were working on another international film.”

“Yes, sorry, it was the last week of filming. I didn’t think you would miss me at the premier.”

“Miss, how could we not miss you?” His gaze shifted to Richard who was now grinning to himself and his hand outstretched, “I’m sorry, where are my manners, Hugh.”

“Richard,” naming himself in their hand shake that dropped to Hugh’s mouth opening.

“Richard, yes, Jaqi talks about you nonstop.”

“Not nonstop,” you replied bashfully.

Hugh nodded teasing you, “Yes non stop, often had to stop her on set forgetting her lines and gushing about her handsome Mate she couldn’t wait to get home to.” Hugh’s name was called and he said grinning at you both, “See you inside, have to go and keep talking about myself.” Turning to his interview again leaving you to be met by Nicholas and Toni, the mom and son in the film you spent so much of your blip with.

Nicholas hurried over and drew a giggle from you in his tight hug, “You’re here! They said you were working on a film!”

“Finished that last week, sorry,” Toni folded around you in the hug you patted her side on at the extent your arm could reach, “Hey Toni. It really couldn’t have been that bad.”

Sighing back her answer she said, “We missed you. Wasn’t the same without you. It’s a great film. You’ll love it.”

Nicholas said, “You did very well, bit odd hearing you without the accent though.”

His eyes shifted to Richard making you say in an adorable pat on his middle making him smile adoringly at you, “Oh, yes, this is Richard.”

Toni drew in a breath, “Richard! Of course!”

“I was not that bad.” You muttered making him chuckle through her handshake seeing you brush your curled bangs from your face.

Toni said, “Of course not,” then nodded to Richard who chuckled again easing his arm around your back at the group of aids hoping to move you onwards.

Walls of flashes captured your pose snuggled at his side resting your hands over his on your middle, later to be taken as a sign to hide a possible bit of jewelry on a certain finger before you were pulled aside for a brief interview followed by your rejoining Richard to head inside. Lowly in the dark of the theater leaned in you whispered to yourself, “It’s a decent part.” Not for the quality but how big your role was, not just another love interest but one of the connecting characters to blend his dating life into meeting the mom and son eventually becoming a family to Hugh’s character. On top of your lap Richard’s hand folded knowing you felt bad for missing the premier for your blip of filming that somehow now was irreplaceable if cut out to make the plot work how it did.

One after party somehow led to an interview from the magazine and papers at the first premier with that duo of writers eager to complete the cast interviews that was fully grateful you agreed to complete the full set. You guessed it had to be the management of the film who had shared the news because everyone knew you were working on some international film that they now were dying to see what had kept you from the suspected successful hit of a film with such a big star in the lead and amazing actresses to boot.

Unique was the word you used to describe the film hoping to not drive people off by describing it and thrilled to the core Richard, who was seated beside you got a snippet and a few questions as well he wondered how it would play out into this article. Either way he was excited to see if they would make the cut and if so what others would say on what was printed. Keeping you close through to your walk back up to your apartment again parting only to change and drop into bed to sleep before his flight the next day.

.

Cutouts of the articles on the film were added to your collection and in a long sleeved grey dress over black tights and the same glittery heels you were ready for the premier of Enough. This one you knew for a fact to be a blip yet all the same again you went and smiled for the pictures both alone and in the group picture for the full cast two seats from the aisle you were seated and in a slip out to avoid the first beating scene you went to the toilet. Leaned up against the wall you pulled out your phone needing a distraction for a few minutes and at the voicemail notification you clicked on it and listened to Peter’s voice playing over the line.

The simple reminder for your flight date and travel information came with his adding, “Gimli, I can’t wait for you to be out here again I have something I wanted to speak to you about. Just, uh, call me back when you get this and confirm you’ll be here on time, or hopefully your on time which is a few days early. Stay safe, Gimli, love you and hear from you soon.”

Quickly you dialed back flashing a grin to the woman washing her hands as you walked to the other end of the room. “Hey Peter, out in New York, I know I’m written as flying out in two weeks but Dad flew in last night and we got a good deal to fly in a week early if that’s good for you. I gotta get back, but, love you, see you in a couple days when we land. Bye.” Hanging up you stuck out your tongue a moment fighting the feeling it had tried to stick to the roof of your mouth and went back to find your seat again.

Domestic abuse films were never easy for you to sit through, you hadn’t faced it personally but a woman you used to work with and one of your friends in High School nearly didn’t make it to graduation for how bad their home situation got. All the same Jennifer played it well and even though it was a bit predictable that Slim would choose to kill her husband it was still a good film and although a bit deflated you still went to the after party to try and perk up again before heading home to sleep.

.

Straight across the headlines on the paper you took with you to the airport had the new cast of King Kong to begin filming in the next year. Devouring each detail you read through the article mainly telling you what you already knew of Peter’s devotion to the hope of one day filming King Kong. He had miniatures and even a script from a try years prior he shelved to work on Lord of the Rings when things didn’t work out. Colin Hanks, Jack Black, Adrian Brody and Naomi Watts were among the names you could recognize alongside Jamie Bell and Andy Serkis, the rest were vaguely hinting to possible actors the names belonged to.

While all your mind could circle on was the listed story of Ann Darrow’s life, a down and out girl working Vaudeville to try and survive the Great Depression hoping to one day work with her favorite writer who ends up on the adventure of a lifetime. The quote from Peter stating her as a girl from the big harsh city of New York, naïve with a strength she wasn’t aware of yet to be tested soon. Remembering Naomi from The Ring you couldn’t help but be a little hurt for losing the role no doubt you wouldn’t have gotten anyways. Sure as it was being filmed in New Zealand this would be another extra role film for you. And you supposed in your turn to the side to take a nap after tucking away your paper and curling around your father’s arm that this would be another epic that would leave you far from noticed on screen for the work you put into it.

Pt 27

@himoverflowers​, @theincaprincess​, @aspiringtranslator​, @sweeticedtea ​, @thegreyberet​, @patanghill17​, @jesgisborne​, @curvestrology​, @alishlieb​, @jogregor​, @armitageadoration​, @fizzyxcustard​, @lilith15000​, @marvels-ghost​, @catthefearless​, @imjusthereforthereads​, @c-s-stars​, @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore​, @mariannetora​, @shes-a-killer-kween, @ggbbhehe4455, @xxbyimm (Hobbit x oc)

X all Rich. A - @abiwim, @deepestfirefun, @thestorybookmistress

X Lee P - @tigereyesf

[razorblade180]

Duality

“I.... am not okay. Haven’t been since I was six, but even then, I was a pretty weak child. I’m quick to tears, quick to give up, and to give in. No matter how talented people may say I am it still feels like I’m coming up short. Short, another thing that gets to me. I might as well be the runt of everything; the weakest link in any chain. Just a bit a of tension before pop, severed and left falling to the floor with whoever was unfortunate to still be attached with me. At least they can still connect to something while I’ll be left broken. Maybe... that wouldn’t be the worst? I could save everyone the trouble of being latched to me if I just- no, wait, shit.... Can’t think like that. Dr. P went over this with you. Focus on the good and good will focus on you. But what is so good about being me? Well, a lot actually when I think about it. My folks love me unconditionally. My best friend adores me; even strangers adore me. Some of them would say that their even proud of me. Though I can’t imagine why. Does simply being their daughter earn my that praise or is it genuine? They all do so much more; my brother does his absolute most. It’s frustrating. Why can’t I do that? Why can’t I stand by him? Be the one in front of him for a change!? Is that so much to ask; to just feel like I’m pulling my weight with my own two hands for once in my life? Why isn’t he the runt? The one that got- that’s horrible of me. Disgusting of me; I don’t mean that at all. I’d never wish for such a thing, yet....I crossed my mind? I wouldn’t think that. He’s my big brother, I love him. He’s always there, always.... Why the hell is he always there? Why is everyone always there!? Don’t they know I can do things on my own? Is their faith that tiny? Agh, what am I saying; they do it out of love. It’s always been love. But it doesn’t make it feel any better! It never did. All it does is prove how weak I really am. Huh, this was supposed to be a list of good things....”

“I need a stage. Any stage really. A place where I decide who gets to join me or stand on the sidelines. Either way, the focus is on me. They all came to see me and make them happy. No sweat. Metaphorically anyways. I’ll make sure my performance heats up their excitement every time. Spotlights? On me. Their eyes? On me. My voice? It’s still mine. They simply get the chance to revel in it. Here, nothing else matters but me. I call the shots. I rule like queen. Powerful and radiant. It’s tiring work. Scary at times, but I love that thrill. Out there, no one can touch me; she can’t touch me. My only wish...is to take all this power, then step off the stage. Maybe then the dark thoughts can go away. I wouldn’t be afraid of what is yet to come. Everyday I can feel it. I’m running out of time. Will they notice? The ones closet will, I hope. The others might not even blink an eye. I sure wouldn’t. Still, I won’t go quietly. They might not notice me. Not who I really am anyways, but they’ll notice the absence of what I gave them. My gift to the world they cherish so dearly. Petty I know, but who are they to complain? If they miss it so much then they’ll seek me out right? Sounds nice, a stranger reaching for me. Funny, I preach about independence but fantasy seeing them all chase after me. I guess....I actually don’t know what I want from people. All I know is I wanna shine all the time. On and off the stage.”

Announcer:Ladies and Gentlemen, Summer Schnee!!’

Curtains rise and spotlights beam down on her as she walks across the stage. The cheering roar of a full stadium of fans hits her ears all at once; she loves it. Her gaze is directed towards an aerial camera which is no doubt getting dynamic shots of the long and beautiful black dress she wore that sparked red flakes like a kindling campfire.

“Hello everyone!” The girl said proudly as she greeted her audience with an award winning smile. She could hear the plethora of greetings she was getting back one after another. Summer took the microphone off the stand and started pacing left and right playfully as she looked at all the excitement.

Summer:Well well well, quite the turnout. Feels like I’m performing at a halftime show. Everyone feeling good this winter break?

The crowd screams happily; completely invigorated.

Summer:That’s good, me too. Been training with my brother for obvious reasons. He’s in the theater box with the rest of my family by the way. Can we get a camera on them?

One of the stadium monitors flip to the inside of the theater box to show the Schnee family and friends all dressed up. From Ruby all the way to Veronica; they were all there waving.

Summer:Most of them are responsible for setting this up since I’ve been a bit preoccupied. I’m thankful. Unfortunately....I still have forgotten to do something very important before the show. *smirking*

Scattered murmurs came from the crowd. As well as a few puzzled looks from her family.

Penny:What’s she doing?

Weiss:I have no clue.

Oscar:Owning it.

Jaune:Being extra like her mom.

Weiss:What’s that mean!?

Summer:You see, I sorta of couldn’t find the time to do my favorite vocal exercises; the most important one I usually do by myself. However.... since all of you look so excited to be here. I can make an exception.

Summer snaps her fingers and all the lights shut off. Everyone goes silent; wondering what was happening only added to the anticipation. They didn’t have to wait long before the sound of a piano filled the air; accompanied by an angelic voice that sung on key with it like if it was the opera. Weiss’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates when a single spot light came back on. Summer was sitting on top of the edge of a piano while someone played it. She looked calm; radiant.

Summer:Mirrior, tell me something? Tell me who’s the loneliest of all~

Weiss:W...when did she...?

More spotlights turn on to reveal the rest of the orchestra as they start to play.

Summer: Mirror, tell me something? Tell me who's the loneliest of all? Mirror, what's inside of me? Tell me can a heart be turned to stone~

Her voice held the note with a force and power. As the piano started it’s solo. No one could speak; they didn’t even seem to breathe. Summer’s voice didn’t try to intimate her mother’s in terms of pitch. She knew it would be foolish. Yet it more than made up for it with how much soul and air she could put into each not. Something even Weiss struggled with. Summer was however, she was about to show everyone exactly how she rose to stardom.

She hopped off the piano and made her way to the front of the stage with the microphone at her side. The average person would think she’s facing the entire crowd. No, she’s looking right where she knows her mom is sitting. The crowd doesn’t matter. Right now, it’s a family affair. Summer slowly inhales as the piano solo starts to end. Her left hand raises to her chest and extends her right one out with the mic. Almost as if she’s reaching for Weiss to grab it. Then....she turns it off.

Without hesitation, Summer begans her part again; and let’s out the famous angelic cry the song is known for. Every ear is reached perfectly as Summer evenly expels every last ounce of air from her lungs out on time. Her chest feels like fire and she’s tearing up. Not from pain though, but from absolute pride. Her mother might be hard to see from this distance but she already knows that Weiss is feeling the exact same thing. The strings start to kick in as the music becomes dynamic. Summer doesn’t miss the beat. Raises her voice along with it as the note climbs before the second half. She flips back on the microphone; never breaking eye contact from Weiss.

Summer: Mirror, mirror, what's behind you?Save me from the things I've seen!

I can keep it from the world; why won't you let me hide from me?

Mirror, mirror, tell me something? Who's the loneliest of, Aaaaaaallllll~

She holds it as the tempo increases faster and faster with the strings building up. Before all instruments stop abruptly as her note trails off; their spotlights vanishing with them and leaving her alone. The crowd is speechless as they look upon her. Not a hair out of place. It barely looks like she needs to catch her as she stare back. Her face glistening with a little sweat. The hard part was over. Her voice returning to the calm an pure way she started with. Summer closed her eyes.

Summer:I'm the loneliest of, all~

She could feel less heat on her. The spotlight had slowly turned off as she finished ilthe beloved song. Summer didn’t need to see the crowds reaction. The slow building of cheers and clapping was enough. Still, she opened her eyes while finally taking an actual breather. What she saw was something rare indeed. Summer had gotten a standing ovation. Even from her family; Veronica herself looked amazed. They all clapped. All except for Weiss. She was too busy crying tears of joy and trying to keep herself together by hugging Jaune. That alone was worth it.

Penny:Sensational!!!!

Nora:Damn...

Ruby:Woah....

Ren:That’s a warm up?

Winter:*sniffling* I’m not gonna cry.

Whitley:Yes you are.

Qrow:Cry? What are you talking about? It’s just smoky in here. *winks*

Winter:*crying* Exactly!

Jaune:Sweetie we are still on the monitor by the way.

Weiss:I don’t care!? Let the world see me proud of my girl! Gods I need a tissue. She was so good! So...so everything and more! I had no idea she practiced that song. Let alone made it her own!

Nicholas:I don’t know how. Those high notes aren’t exactly you know, quiet? I heard her practice once though. Summer does a good job keeping secrets.

Yang:Looks like talent runs deep in the family. What do you think Vee?

Veronica:Doesn’t matter what I think.

Valerie:Just admit that you are amazed?

Veronica:I thought that was clear from my clapping?

Blake:That’s all you’re getting out of her.

The crowd still cheered which was fine by Summer. Someone backstage was kind enough to give her some water as musicians left the stage and came back with the standard instruments for Summer’s typical style of music. One put a guitar around her as she finally perked up.

Summer:Phew! Thank you, thank you all so much. I gotta say, probably my best vocal exercise but that’s just me. Now....who’s ready for something with a bit more energy!?

The crowd doesn’t even get a chance to respond before Summer starts going all in on the guitar. It’s not like she didn’t already know what their answer. That’s what happens when you know your loyal subjects after all. In this moment, she truly controlled everything. It won’t last forever. So she’ll make the most of it. Summer will reign the way she wants with no restraint.

“That’s right. See me in my element; my finest hours. Cling to them. Who knows how many day I have left, before my reign comes to an end. My only wish? That the throne remains empty. Gods help them all otherwise.”

[colonel-insomniac]

I Won’t Dance

Welp. I did it again, and I made it into a one shot book on AO3

“I won’t dance, don’t ask me…” 

Patrick can’t dance. Too him, that’s a fact that he thinks is plain to see. And still, whether it be Bobby or Sandy asking him, he feels bad for saying no. But he doesn’t want them to think he’s stupid for not knowing how to even dance. He already knows he’s not the smartest, and that’s the worst part to him. 

“My heart won’t let me do things they should do. You know what, you’re lovely…” 

Sometimes, Pat thinks the only thing he can do is eat, sleep, and play music. At least, he thinks he’s good at making music. Bobby’s assured him so many times that he’s perfect the way he is. But sometimes Pat doesn’t know whether that’s true. 

He wants to dance, and that’s the bad thing. His parents tried to get him to learn how to do something when they found that he wasn’t great at normal things. They’d enrolled him in a ballroom dancing class; it was supposed to teach the students how to do many types of slow dances, and a few faster ones. 

He got kicked out. Turns out, he isn’t the most graceful, and he supposes that maybe knocking over a glass table wasn’t very inexpensive, but why should a dance class have glass? 

He’s watched Sandy and Bobby dance, wishing he were one of them. They just looked so focused on each other that they didn’t have to think about where their feet went. They were so lovely together. Maybe Pat was the odd one out.

“When you dance, you’re charming and you’re gentle…” 

They were always so gentle with him, but he’s always so absorbed with his thoughts of music. He plays at diners, bars, clubs, wherever he can, really. Sometimes he gets paid, and sometimes he doesn’t. That doesn’t ever matter to him, though. He just loves spreading his joys to the world. 

He sings Frank Sinatra mostly, idly plucking chords on his guitar while the track for the orchestra plays from the speaker. Neither Bobby nor Sandy know he’s singing and playing at all; and he’s tried telling them, but coincidentally, whenever he tries bringing it up, they aren’t listening. He’s given up trying to tell them at this point, simply dedicating them to “two very special people in his life.” 

The crowds that show up increase every time, and on social media platforms, he comes across the occasional post trying to find out who he’s talking about. He can’t respond otherwise his “secret” will be outed to his girlfriend and boyfriend. Since they haven’t figured it out by now, he isn’t sure he wants them to just yet. 

“For heaven rest us, I’m not asbestos…” 

He often catches Edward, Pat and Bobby’s neighbor, at the places he plays, clarinet in hand. Edward is a pretty anxious guy, and he isn’t as bad as some people tell him. When Pat sees Edward on those nights, he makes sure to cheer as loud as he can for the poor guy. 

He’s told the two that Edward plays at clubs and bars, and diners, and both Sandy and Bobby have said they ought to go watch Edward play. So Pat has come up with a plan. A genius one, if he says so himself.

They’ve arranged to go to a diner tonight. Pat visited earlier and told Edward he wants to perform tonight, but can only do it if Edward goes on before him. It seems that’s exactly what Edward needed to hear, because he’d said he was right about to tell Pat he’d given up. 

“And that’s why I won’t dance, why should I?”

It isn’t that Patrick isn’t appreciated by Sandy and Bobby, but he has been itching to tell them, and sometimes they don’t want to hear him. He’s just used the resources that were handed to him. 

The three were getting ready, walking to and from the bathroom and their respective rooms. Pat excused himself saying he had somewhere to go, and stood outside for a moment, the cold wind biting his cheeks as he clutched his phone in his hand. He and Eddie had agreed to walk together to prepare, and he was currently waiting on Edward to come downstairs. 

<Tall and Leggy: On my way downstairs, don’t leave.> 

Pat replies with a thumbs up emoji, his stomach queasy with nerves for the first time ever. He’d decided to forgo the guitar tonight, figuring it was better to leave it rather than get questioned by Sandy and Bobby or them figuring everything out. They hadn’t found out by now, they could wait a couple more hours. 

“I won’t dance, how could I? I won’t dance. Merci beaucoup…” 

“Thank you for this, Patrick, I know I’m not the best at clarinet, but I am trying to get better.” Edward appears behind Pat, weearing a nice white button down shirt and blue tux jacket. The pants are the same shade as the jacket and white dress shoes. 

“Ed, I’m the one who should be thankin’ you for being so willing to do it for me. I know we haven’t always gotten along, but it still means a lot to me.” Pat knows he doesn’t do a lot of thanking and acknowleding what others do to help him, but maybe this can be the turning point. 

“I know that music leads the way to romance…” 

“So you’re going to sing for Bobby and Sandy?” Edward asks as they turn the corner to the diner The Chum Bucket. 

The food isn’t great, but Sheldon, the owner, holds music nights every Friday night for five dollars per person, so, it works out. Pat nods, wishing he had his guitar for comfort. “They don’t know I’m performing at all. I tried telling them, but they don’t listen sometimes.” 

Ed winces, a sympathetic look on his face. Pat doesn’t want to keep talking, but it feels so good to just admit things to someone. “I feel like they’d be better as a pair, istead of the three of us, y’know? But they always tell me they love me so much.” 

Ed nods, fiddling with the clarinet keychain on his keys. “I mean, you guys work well together. I never really thought Sandy would be into the two of you, but I’d always expected you and Bobby to be together, romantically and whatnot. I do think they care about you though. What song are you singing for them?” 

Eddy’s onstage currently, and Pat’s waiting in the wings of the stage, looking at the audience.  Sandy and Bobby look at each other. They seem a little worried, but turn to watch the stage as Edward plays a slow, sweet song. He’s improved, Pat thinks, proud of the effort his friend has put into music. 

“My heart won’t let my feet do things they want to do…”  

Pat grows more nervous by the second, and he knows Edwards performance is coming to a close. He checks his phone really quick, as it’s blowing up with notifications. People are tagging him in all their posts, and a majority are speculating whether he has split with whoever they think he’s with. He drafts a response really quick. 

<Pat-a-Rat-Tat: to all: Just wait… ;P>

Sandy and Bobby are the first to clap for Edward, giving him an ovation. Pat thinks about how happy that makes him. Others follow, and Edward beams, bowing deeply and rushing offstage. “Oh Pat, did you see?” The starry-eyed man grabs Pat by his shoulders. “They gave me an ovation! They loved me!!” 

Patrick grabs Edward and hugs him, “I’m so proud of you man!! Congrats!!” 

Edward thanks Pat again, and tells him he’s going to pack up his clarinet and join Sandy and Bobby, and to wait for him to get there to start. Pat nods, and wathes his significant others as they scroll idly on their phones. He pulls his own phone out, reading the messages he’s gotten in their groupchat. 

<Not-So-Simple: Pat where are you, we’re worried>

<San-dee: Patrick Starr, you better get your sorry butt here before I kick you>

He has to refrain himself from laughing as his phone is flooded with messages from Bobby, who, from Patrick’s spot backstage, looks like he’s about tear the whole town apart in search for Pat. 

<Super-Starr: Guys, quit worryin>

<Super-Starr: I’m just runnin a little l8>

He can tell neither Bobby or Sandy are happy about this, and he knows they’re going to yell at him later, but he pushes past that thought. Edward approaches them and takes a seat, all smiles now. Pat smiles as Edward aims a thumbs up at the stage, knowing Patrick’ll see it, and both Bobby and Sandy’s eyebrows furrow in sync, and he can just barely here Bobby ask Edward what’s going on. 

Edward simply aims a smile and ruffles Bobby’s hair before shushing him. 

“I’m like an ocean wave that’s bumped on the shore…” 

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to present, the one and only, artist who has been gracing this establishment for months now…” Sheldon begins, holding a mic as Pat takes deep breaths, “Patrick Starr!” 

The crowd goes wild, and Patrick keeps his eyes trained on the shell-shocked couple as he walked onstage. “Hey guys!” He began, speaking into the microphone on the stage. Now he began to look elswhere. The tide was changing, things were finally shifting into place for him. 

“You all know I’ve been doing this for a while now, and I’ve always dedicated them to two very significant people in my life.” He was now pacing the stage, smiling as he gripped the mic. 

“But this feeling isn’t purely mental…”

“Well, they didn’t know I’ve been singing, ‘til now. I tried tellin’ y’all!” He exclaimed, laughing as Bobby blushed. “Anyways, even though they sometimes don’t pay attention to me, I love them to pieces. That’s why I’ve finally decided to do this song. As you can all tell, I’m without my guitar tonight. Had to keep the secret going until I came onstage.” He laughed as the audience clapped. 

“Tonight’s performance is all thanks to Edward. Couldn’t have done this if he didn’t say he would perform before me.” Patrick took a deep breath, calming his nerves. “I’m singin’ to good ole Frank Sinatra’s I Won’t Dance. Those two are always asking why I won’t dance with them, and I think this serves as a good reason why, along with the fact that I’m not good at anything other than making music.” 

The crowd laughs, and Patrick smiles, glancing at Sandy and Bobby. Bobby looks absolutely enthralled, cheeks blushing a rosy color as he grins widely at Patrick. Sandy’s also smiling, but there’s an evil glint in her eyes, and Pat gulps, tugging at the collar of his shirt comically. “This might be my last performance y’all. She’s gonna kill me. Enjoy!” 

As Patrick sings, the audience sways. 

The last note plays out and the audience cheers, standing. “That’s my boyfriend!” Bobby manages to yell louder than the audience. And when the audience falls silent and turns to look for the guy claiming he’s Pat’s boyfriend, Bobby turns too. Pat laughs, and Bobby looks back at him again, red in the face. “Haha, Sponge, ever the theatrical nerd.” Bobby winks at him as the audience sits back down. Sandy’s still laughing, but she drags a finger across her neck, playfully threatening Pat. 

“Patrick Starr, why in the world would you do that? You done had Bobby and I just about to rip the town apart in search of you, you goof. And now,” She states, stalking toward him with an evil grin, “You. Are. Gonna. Get. It.” She jumps on top of him, tickling his sides. Bobby, always wanting attention, hops on the couch next to Pat.

“I told y’all…I can’t…dance.” Pat states between gasps for air. 

“So if I hold you in my arms…”   

“You had me so worried.” Bobby joins Sandy with the tickling. 

Patrick could easily overpower them, he realizes. He wraps his arms around the two, sides hurting, bringing them close to him. “Sorry, guys, but I told you that I’ve been doing this. Y’all need to pay more attention to me!” 

“Sorry Pat.” Bobby apologizes, sincere and with a sweet smile gracing his face. 

“Yeah, Pat, sorry.” Sandy chimes, pinching his cheek with a grin. 

“That’s alright,” Pat looks at them, “now you know.” He pecks them each on the cheek. 

“I won’t dance!”

[etlunainmorte]

🎸 Saved By The Siren 🎸

***

~ A Nero X Reader set in an Alternate Universe.

~ This is dedicated to one of my friends, @shadowrosess , who loves Nero, and to you, Nero fans! I hope you like this.

~ Enjoy!

***

"I QUIT!" The band's lead vocalist raged as she slammed the door closed on the way out, startling the other contestants.

"YEAH! FUCK YOU!" The band's lead guitar screamed back, making the other people shook their heads.

But, who could really blame him? Nero and Lady just couldn't get along well from the start.

"YA MESSED UP BIG TIME, PSYCHO!" Nico, the band's bassist shrieked hysterically at him as she pointed her cigar stick at him.

"WHO NEEDS A VOCALIST LIKE THAT, ANYWAY? SHE JUST STRUTS ON THE STAGE AND SHOW OFF!"

"Guys, we really need a vocalist now,or we're gonna get disqualified." Lucia, the timid drummer nervously spoke from the corner of the room, not wanting to be shout at by the ever grumpy Nero.

"The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water,... and breeds reptiles of the mind." V, the ever calm keyboardist, quoted, not once taking his eyes off his William Blake illustrated collection.

Nero face palmed.

Ever since that incident involving Lady erupted, of her planning to leave the band for a much more popular one to become famous, Nero has been on a rampage, picking unnecessary fights with her and, therefore, almost ruining the band.

And who could just put them together but him? Not Nico, who just messes around ( one time, she almost set the old and smelly studio they were practicing in on fire with the cigar butt she carelessly threw away ), not Lucia, who was just too timid and shy to ever lead any kind of group ( she almost depleted the band's funds by having no guts to refuse the cute little scouts that always come knocking in to sell them all sorts and flavors of cookies ), and definitely not V, who was either busy reading, or busy being a regular member of the National Orchestra as a Concertmaster ( who was so talented as heck, he rejected the last twenty or so who auditioned as vocalist, only accepting Lady because he wasn't there to see or hear her sing due to one of his asthma attacks ).

So, simply put, they're all doomed.

No.

More like fucked up.

All of a sudden, Nero's phone vibrated. He took it out from his pocket and saw that his dad was calling him.

"Ugh, him again?" Nero muttered, not really wanting to answer the call.

"Answer that call, ya don't want him to come in here and drag ya away from him like a brat." Nico suggested calmly.

And so, with a deep sigh, he answered the call -

"What are you doing right now,... scum?"

"Fuck off, Vergil!"

"Don't you disrespect me in front of your so - called peers. If I hear that you get beaten by Dante's band once more, I will have no choice but to take away that wailing and foul - smelling instrument of yours, drag you out of there, myself, and send you to boarding school in Berlin."

"D- DAD! PLEASE! NOT MY ELECTRIC GUITAR!"

"Don't you ever dare lose,... scum."

And with that last threat, Nero's father hung up. The place was almost filled with loud applause and cheers a few seconds later as the last band just finished performing. The door opened, and in came the dynamic guitar and singing duo of Dante and Trish.

The sight of Nero's ( and Vergil's ) rival Dante looking so proud and confident that he'll win this battle of the bands made his stomach churn. And before he could even turn away to not be noticed by the man, his father's younger brother saw him and immediately went towards him.

"Hey, nephew! How's it going?" Dante greeted as he put a heavy arm around Nero.

"Piss off, Dante!" Nero growled.

"Ooh! What's with the little puppy growl? Oh! Let me guess: Lady left you, didn't she?"

"FUCK. OFF!" Nero pushed Dante away in anger, his uncle's taunt proving that his statement was, indeed, real.

But, Dante just smiled and chuckled at him as he shook his head helplessly. "Oh, well, I wonder how Vergil would react to this news?!"

"Stop."

"Maybe he'll come down here and take away your second hand guitar! Or! Maybe," Dante taunted once more as he stalked closer to Nero like a predator. " ...he'll send you to that military boarding school in Berlin!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Nero finally exploded as he grabbed Dante's collar.

"No! You shut up, DEAD WEIGHT!"

"Okay, okay! Guys, stop!" Nico intervened, successfully drawing Nero out before he could make a nasty scene in front of the people.

"What do we have here?" One of the organizers who saw the argument came in and asked.

"Oh, nothin'! Nothin' to worry 'bout!" Nico lied as she laughed hysterically.

The organizer only shook his head and left. After that, the door opened and a head popped out from it.

"SWEET SURRENDER?!" The person called the name of their band.

"Yeah! We're here!" Nero answered unwillingly, flinching at his own words.

"YOU'RE UP! AND MAKE IT FAST!"

"Good luck, kid! Adios!" Dante mocked once more as he saluted on his way out.

"I'll send you my autograph." Trish said as she blew all of them a good bye kiss and gave V a very sultry look, to which the poet only ignored.

All of four of Sweet Surrender's members looked at each other.

"What do we do now?" Lucia, who was already in panic mode from the start, stuttered as she clutched her drum sticks.

"We perform as usual." Nero replied.

"What if we fail? Yer dad's gonna send ya to boardin' school fer real!" Nico added as she pushed the rim of her glasses up the bridge of her freckled nose.

"Stop saying that, will you? I will sing in place of that bitch."

"But, Nero! That song is meant to be sung as a duet! This will not work! This will be a disaster!"

"Whoa, Lucia! Calm down! Trust me. We'll get through this!"

After those words, Nero, Nico, and Lucia turned to V, expecting him to say some words of encouragement.

And to this, the poetic musician only answered, "A man can't soar too high,... when he flies with his own wings."

"Okay, V. You're an interesting guy but, you're right." Nero responded as all of them faced the door that led to the stage. "Let's get this show on the road!"

However, no matter how hard V tried to give them enough words of motivation, courtesy of William Blake, they just couldn't shake the foreboding feeling.

That something bad was going to happen.

Nico, Lucia, and V may have done their best to perform their parts, but Nero's song, which was supposedly a duet, just couldn't, would not, work out. It just felt wrong.

And not even a few minutes in and they were already being booed by their audience. This made Lucia even more nervous and stopped playing altogether. Nico tried to pitch in for her but failed miserably because she lacked proper practice. V, on the other hand, remained calm as he multi - tasked, playing both Lucia and Nico's part on his keyboard.

"LOSER!" A girl from the crowd shrieked as she threw her candy wrappers at Nero. Some people took this as an opportunity to throw things at them.

"Look at them! They look so pathetic!" Dante laughed from the back of the crowd, enjoying Sweet Surrender's downfall. "I guess it's boarding school for Nero now - "

"HEY, GUYS! So sorry I'm late!"

Everyone in the room went dead silent as one unknown girl wearing a floral dress came up the stage and joined Nero.

"I'm sorry. Who are you?" Nero questioned as he watched the girl take hold of one of the microphones.

The girl just winked at him and gave him a confident smile. "We're gonna do this, right?"

"ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!" Lucia bravely screamed at the top of her lungs as she tapped her sticks together for their cue. And with the wailing of Nero's guitar, they played their song once more.

"Oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh! So jet lagged!" Nero started singing. "What time is it where you are?"

"I miss you more than anything." The mysterious girl sang, her beautiful voice surprising Nero, and the rest of the band.

"And back at home you feel so far."

"Waitin' for the phone to ring."

"It's gettin' lonely livin' upside down. I don't even wanna be in this town. Tryin' to figure out the time zone's makin' me crazy!"

"You say good morning when it's midnight. Going out of my head, alone in this bed. I wake up to your sunset. And it's driving me mad, I miss you so bad. And my heart, heart, heart is so jet - lagged! Heart, heart, heart is so jet - lagged! Heart, heart, heart is so jet - lagged, is so jet - lagged!"

"Oh, oh!" Nico, Lucia, and V sang at the same time the people stopped booing them and started bobbing their heads along with the song, actually enjoying the performance. And by the time the unknown girl started singing, the crowd started to finally cheer for them.

"What time is it where you are?" She candidly sang as she winked once more at Nero, who really enjoying their performance.

"Five more days and I'll be home."

"I keep your picture in my car."

"I hate the thought of you alone."

The girl took the mic out from the stand and pointed at the crowd. "I've been keepin' busy all the time just to try to keep you off my mind. Tryin' to figure out the time zones makin' me crazy!"

She, then, went over to Nero's side and by the time they're singing on the same mic, the crowd just went wild cheers.

"You say good morning when it's midnight. Going out of my head, alone in this bed. I wake up to your sunset, And it's drivin' me mad, I miss you so bad. And my heart, heart, heart is so jet - lagged! Heart, heart, heart is so jet - lagged! Heart, heart, heart is so jet - lagged, is so jet lagged!"

"Oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh!"

"I miss you so bad."

"I miss you so bad."

"I miss you so bad."

"I miss you so bad."

"I wanna share your horizon."

"I miss you so bad."

"And see the same sun rising."

"I miss you so bad."

"And turn the hour hand back to when you were holding me."

"You say good morning, when it's midnight. Going out of my head, alone in this bed. I wake up to your sunset. And it's drivin' me mad, I miss when you say good morning, but it's midnight. Going out of my head. Alone in this bed. I wake up to your sunset. And it's drivin' me mad, I miss you so bad. And my heart, heart, heart is so jet - lagged! Heart, heart, heart is so jet - lagged! Heart, heart, heart is so jet-lagged, is so jet-lagged, is so jet - lagged!"

"Oh, oh!"

"So jet - lagged!"

Nero and his friends, so was Dante, who was still watching, couldn't believe the amount of love they received from the audience.

All thanks to this mysterious girl.

"That was crazy!" Nero told her the moment they went back to the room. "You're really awesome!"

"Thanks!" The girl answered with that charming smile of hers.

The smile that made Nero's heart skip a beat. She's just,... so beautiful, and charming, and,...

"What's your name?" Nero asked her.

"Oh, you can call me (Y/N)."

"Heya, (Y/N)! I'm Nico." Nico introduced herself even before Nero could shake her hand.

"Hello, Nico!"

"I'm Lucia, the,... drummer,... at the back. You know,..." Sweet Lucia shyly introduced herself.

"You were awesome back there, Lucia!"

"Really?!" The girl's face lit up in excitement.

"Yes!"

"And I'm Nero. Nice to meet you." He said as he was finally able to touch her smooth hands.

"Same here, Nero." And she gave him that charming smile with that cherry colored lips again.

"Hey, where's V?" Nico asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"At the back, hiding from Trish." Lucia answered.

"Poor tattooed Shakespeare,..." Nico shook her head in disbelief.

"They're gonna announce the winner!" Lucia excitedly said as she pulled her friends back to the stage,...

... only for them to get disappointed when the host announced Dante and Trish's name.

(Y/N) noticed Nero's sadness and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulders. The boy smiled at him and shook his head.

"Thank you, (Y/N)."

"No, Nero. Thank YOU."

They were about to make way for Dante and Trish to perform their encore when the people started yelling their name!

"SWEET SU - RREN - DER! SWEET SU - RREN - DER! SWEET SU - RREN - DER! SWEET SU - RREN - DER!"

"OH, MY GAWD! THEY WANT US BACK!" Nico shrieked as she happily jumped up and down.

"Then, we're gonna give 'em what they want. Isn't that right, Nero?!" (Y/N) confidently announced as she nudged the boy's arm, who still couldn't believe what just happened.

"Okay! We're gonna do this!" Nero took his guitar and positioned himself in front of the mic once more. "Where's V?!"

"Right here." The poet calmly said as he reappeared and faced his keyboard once more.

"ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!" Lucia gave the cue, finally confident for their sweet, sweet encore.

After that, it was safe to say that nobody's instrument, foul - odored, second - hand, or no, got taken away by an angry parent. There were no more old, combustible and smelly practice rooms because they were invited by a talent manager named Morrison to perform to much better and popular places. There were no more girl scouts selling one particularly shy drummer some cookies because they were now being offered M&Ms and more backstage and for free. One skinny poet has to run and hide more often from crazed fangirls because someone released his photos and videos on Instagram, which quickly became viral. And no one got sent to a boarding school in any part of Europe.

And (Y/N) and Nero?

Let's just say that their first duet was the start of a truly sweet and meaningful romance.

***

🎸🎸🎸

***

[lopez-richter-fangirl]

So. Homecoming. Holy fuck. It’s taken me this long to even start to get my thoughts together. Very spoilery post under the cut. Like, as much as I can possibly remember of the show spoilery. Also rambly. And long. Ridiculously long. So you’ve been warned.

Also disclaimer, this is just homecoming to the best of my recollection and it might not be 100% accurate. So first of all the setlist (this was everything they sang but the order of songs in act 2 is a bit hazy, I think it’s about half right. Also I don’t think hardly anyone at the show could tell you exactly because it was just so overwhelming). They did medleys for all the non-Potter shows in act 1 in reverse chronological order, act 2 they did full songs from all the Potter musicals.

Act 1 TGWDLM, Join Us And Die, Show Stoppin Number We Got Work To Do, Make The Most Of It Ani, With My Own Eyes, Back On Top Gone To Oregon, Naked In A Lake, Speedrun No One Remembers Achmed, A Thousand And One Nights, Happy Ending Holy Musical B@man, Rogues Are We, Superfriends Status Quo, Kick It Up A Notch, I Wanna Be Me And My Dick, Listen To Your Heart, Ready To Go Act 2 Going Back To Hogwarts Harry Freaking Potter To Have A Home Different As Can Be (and reprise) Coolest Girl Cho’s Song Hey Dragon Granger Danger Guys Like Potter Wizard Of The Year To Dance Again Sidekick Voldemort Is Going Down Everything Ends Not Alone Days Of Summer Not Alone (reprise)

Thursday 25th The more I think about it the more I realise I really had no idea what I was expecting from the show. We’d been planning before they even announced what it was to fly out for it, but we had very few details. I didn’t even know they had an orchestra until like two hours before. I’d barely been able to watch any of their rehearsal stories. But I don’t think I’d ever been more excited for anything in my life. I was super excited for AVPW but also, it was my first time seeing any of them, the whole thing felt like a dream, and I had no idea how much it was gonna mean to me so it didn’t even hit me properly until the last night. Whereas I already knew exactly how special this would be, it was entirely once in a lifetime and I was nearly shaking.

Outside the theatre I’ve said it before but genuinely my favourite place in the world to be is surrounded by Starkid fans. Seeing people in cosplay, in merch, talking about the same shows and people I love, I just get such a sense of ‘this is home’. There was the classic waiting-in-line going back to hogwarts singalong. And some la dee da da day thrown in for good measure. Liam was walking along the line filming and doing interviews for the bts. Tessa got out of a car right next to us, we saw Jade and Traci and their friend Bella. They’re all gorgeous it’s insane and unfair.

Inside the theatre Spent over $100 on merch but honestly could have spent so much more, really I showed a lot of self restraint. They didn’t have the programmes though which I’m still heartbroken over. Saw Denise Richter which I was maybe too excited about. Didn’t speak to her or anything but even just to see her she exudes kindness she’s the best. Then we were hanging out in the lobby and Tessa was talking to everyone and hugging them and taking selfies and jumping in people’s group pics and I love her. Like she made my night even without me talking to her because she was SO sweet to everyone she spoke to and I was stood there falling in love with her by the second. Also, let’s talk about how cool the venue was? It looked unbelievable and they had a bunch of posters up with AVPM quotes. And the stage? Y’all have seen by now but they made it look like an actual homecoming dance and it was amazing. Considering how far back our seats were it was actually a very good view, it helped that I had an aisle seat so had a clear view of the entire stage. I’ve posted the pre-show playlist here, it was perfect, especially the JATP like, hell yeah to celebrating all their various projects. At this point I literally thought I was gonna die of excitement. AJ and Clark came on stage and as much as I was having great fun freaking out with the groupchat about how soon the show was I couldn’t wait to put my phone away cause that meant the show was starting. And then the lights went down.

Darren Very pleased to say it was not the Darren show, even though he did give the opening and closing speech. And as much as I have opinions about him, when he walked out for the first time it was a pretty special moment because it’s like, this is it this is really happening. The amount of energy in that room when he came on stage my god. You would not have believed there were only 1600 people there. The whole show people could barely get a sentence out without cheering, which in hindsight was probably annoying but it just shows how incredibly loved they are, and we were as grateful to them as they were to us. I loved the atmosphere in both shows, it was completely different both times and I’ll obviously get to the Friday night show, but there was something special about being in a room of majority backers, all of us seeing these show for the very first time, it was totally new. Again, literally no idea what to expect and it was the most exhilarating feeling. Darren did a little ‘look for your exits pretend we’re at Disney’ which was cute after being at Disney for two days beforehand. Classic starkid fashion, he told us they had no idea how long the show would run for. He made a G.L.E.E. joke so it’s nice to know he’s still on our side at the end of the day. I don’t know if it was him that talked about Starkid performing with a 13 piece orchestra for the first time, but I’m gonna bring it up here anyway. I’m so grateful they were overfunded and that they were able to have the orchestra, because it’s probably something they really wanted and it’s also something they 100% deserve. I’d sell my soul to hear every starkid song with that orchestra, it was magnificent. I really hope we do get an album because it all sounded SO GOOD. Unsurprisingly don’t remember much else of what Darren said because I was just so excited for the show to start.

TGWDLM medley  So as soon as the opening started playing even as Darren was still introducing people went insane, literally within two seconds I knew undoubtedly that this was gonna be the best two hours of my life (also the fastest. Often watching theatre shows I lose attention a little bit but there wasn’t a single second of this show that I wasn’t 100% in the moment they’re completely captivating, and it went by way too fast). Oh wow this is where we got to see Joey and Lauren for the first time. Fuck. I cannot describe to you how good they looked. Pictures do not do it justice. Thank god the mustache was gone. Thank god Lauren didn’t wear the boots. She was wearing my favourite hairstyle. Joey’s hair looked great. Their outfits were incredible. They literally could not have been more perfect looks for me and I’m so grateful. I could have cried happy tears at seeing them. This in itself could go on for five pages so I’ll leave it there. They all did the whole iconic zombie pose entrance. Corey sang Joey’s astronomical line which was kinda a shame cause I love the way he sings that line however I’m glad they did it like that cause Joey got to sing a lot in the show (still not enough for my liking but then again my liking is Joey and Lauren singing the whole show so I’m good). Wish they did Lauren’s ‘pines after a cute lil barista’ bit. Also kinda wish they did inevitable so Jon could sing because I love him and he deserves better @ starkid when are you going to hire me. However they made up for that when Jaime went ‘it is time’ and the room was absolutely electric because everyone knew exactly what was coming. That note had me shook from the moment I heard it on the digital ticket and I feel honoured to have heard it in person. Jeff was still her hype man. Jaime’s voice is honestly out of this world, she’s the person I’d most heard sing live but it was still mind blowing. She’s incredible I love her so much. Then Robert came on stage so like, room exploded again. Joey and Lauren should have been on stage doing their bit for show stopping number but again, what do I know? This song was 100% pandering but as much as it’s overhyped it is a good song and Robert fucking killed it, he actually impresses me so much. His voice? He did the hip wiggles, maybe even more than were in the show, and people went absolutely wild for it. He did the working boys bit and of course everyone lost their minds. And I loved it, I loved that atmosphere of everyone being entirely obsessed with every tiny thing these people do because that’s what connects us all. Jon did get to be a working boy (as did Mariah) and sounded great. They actually sang so much of this song holy shit definitely pandering. But they really were giving Hamilton some competition.

Firebringer medley Lauren Walker introduced this one, do I remember what she said? No, I was too busy wondering if they were going to sing Climate Change. They didn’t. You sang three songs from every other show but two from firebringer and one of them wasn’t climate change? Okay sure. This sounds like I’m complaining I’m not this section was still gorgeous and I loved every second of it. Hearing music from firebringer was amazing because it has some of my favourite music from all the starkid shows, and also because apart from TGWDLM which was so recent it’s the only show we hadn’t heard anything from since. They sang we got work to do which again, pandering and not even to what most people actually wanted if we’re being honest. But I’m happy about it because hearing Lauren sing that first line was a spiritual experience. Her voice? No words. So good. Can’t believe I got to hear it live? Properly?!? Also Joey got to be in this bless his heart and I couldn’t stop watching him doing the choreography. Lauren’s little expressions throughout the whole thing are adorable god I love her. Meredith sounded so good. Rachael got so much of a cheer when she sang her bit. Joey comforted Joe after the shadow bit. Then they sang from the proposal bit of the finale. Brian was pretending to be jealous when Meredith was singing to Lauren which made my life, p.s. Joey step up your game. The first time hearing Lauren sing ‘this is the dawn’ literally took my breath away. And with that orchestra!? (Will I ever shut up about the orchestra? The answer is no). The CHEERS for ‘we are womankind’. Hell yeah. And then Lauren did the arm thing like way to literally flex on us Lo. Not okay. They did the little Molag dialogue bit and Denise did the being-blessed-with-knowledge face. Watching Denise off to the side was honestly one of the highlights of the whole show. 

TTO medley

Now I’m questioning my memory but I think Jaime went offstage after Firebringer when she wasn’t supposed to because I’m sure I remember her not being on stage for this at first. Like everyone else was there and there was a moment where I was like ‘I feel like someone’s missing...’ and then Jaime walked on late. She did mention Julia having to remind her of her cues. Anyway. Gone to oregon was first and I was reminded what an actually good performer Jeff is. He’s great in that show. Corey got the cheers he deserved at his ‘wisconsin’ bit. Lauren singing Naked in a lake was beautiful. Even if not enough people sang with her when she asked for help (spoiler, we stepped up Friday). She was definitely trying to get us to sing the high bits cause her voice was tired and she didn’t want to but that’s fine. This was one of the songs from that show I really wanted them to sing and I’m glad they did, it’s so much fun. Also Lauren does kinda steal the show but watching everyone else in this song is great. Shoutout to the sax guy, I’m glad we as a fandom always appreciate the band/orchestra. I still can’t believe everyone just lets Lauren sing a whole song about skinny dipping but I’m here for it. Then they did speedrun which was. An experience. Still think Joey should have sung wagon on fire but would I have passed out most likely yes so maybe it was better off this way. I’m glad Rachael got a moment. The ‘faster’ bit was fucking insane I don’t know how they had the breath for it. Everyone clapped pace and I’m pretty sure we clapped faster than the song ever goes so, sorry guys that you had to go through that? I think I have a newfound appreciation for this song. It was either in this or possibly in Naked in a lake that Joey did something stupid and Lo looked at him and shook her head. There were a lot of little looks throughout the show and trying to catch each other’s eye across the stage and it was very cute and probably won’t make the cut even though it should it’s the best part of the show.

Ani medley Moses introduced it and he was wearing like the jacket that’s one of his costumes and he wore in the final SK10 livestream idk you guys I’ve seen that show twice. The Ani band is fucking great, they had Mark, Nick Gage (?? idk there was definitely a fourth person I was mostly watching Meredith let’s be real here), Clark and Meredith all sing. Meredith had the biggest smile on her face at all times it was a joy. Ani is such a fun song so many starkid songs are so fun. Also they added a key change (was it even a key change? I’ve never studied music whatever they did it sounded good.) Actually the whole arrangement of this medley I loved, I hope it makes the people who don’t appreciate the music in this show appreciate it. With my own eyes is my favourite song in that show and I’m very happy they did it. They should have had Denise do her choreo when they did Back on top tbh. I love Meredith in this song though.

Twisted medley Joe came out to introduce it but kept hyping everyone up about Ani first. I really miss Joe he has so much onstage energy. I knew they were doing No one remembers achmed but I was still so excited about it. It’s such a good song. And the whole ‘you ooze sex’ bit in the flesh? That’s all. Obviously the best part was everyone yelling tigerfucker. Experiencing that in person is unbeatable. Then they had Britney and Carlos sing their version of 1001 nights and it was beautiful, I very rarely listen to that version of the song but I should, Britney is unbelievable and I love her so much. I can’t believe she’d just flown in and had such a rough time right before the show, you wouldn’t have known it. Dylan walked out and I kinda thought they were gonna have him and Meredith do a quartet (starkid when are you gonna hire me??) but then he sang ‘and with my wife beside me’ and I was like :’) this is good. That part of the song always gets me and Dylan’s voice is a goddamn gift. I love the overlapping parts at the end of Happy ending too so it’s always a good choice. But why they didn’t sing dream a little harder when Alex was right there I do not know. 

HMB medley Pretty sure they had Julia introduce it? Guys it’s been a week gimme a break. Either way she definitely introduced something at some point and I’m glad everyone cheered so much for her because she was the glue of Starkid for a while. Nick Gage sang HMB and they had a reverb (again, is that the right term? not a clue) and he looked so pleased with himself every time we laughed. Then they sang rogues are we (rogues medley would have been better but in fairness that would have ruined the whole thing they had going). I do love Lauren singing we are the harlots and the hussies. A lot. But Denise does it so well. And Jaime’s ‘we’re rising up from the underground’?? I don’t think I have a single thing to say about any of the men in this song and I’m not sorry. Superfriends sounded very cool. It doesn’t matter how many times I see it, I always love the matching tattoos bit, and seeing Meredith’s story afterwards about how she was directing hers at Jade made it even better. I don’t even remember who sang Robin’s lines because I was too busy watching Lauren do the dance, she’s adorable. It was funny watching like five of them doing it cause they were the only ones who had learned it before and the rest not knowing it. Also, I don’t know which makes me happier, when they point into the audience for ‘I wanna be your friend forever’, or when they point at each other. Both are good.

Starship medley Denise introduced the show and um hi I love Denise she’s so cute. She said the thing about her mom calling Starship a show for dreamers and I still think that’s the most adorable thing. I will say for the rest of time that having Alex and Mariah sing Status quo was a weird choice. Also made me pissed that basically no one cheered for Alex but of course everyone went fucking crazy for Mariah. Not even that Mariah didn’t deserve it, but she didn’t deserve it more than Alex. Just saying. It did sound very good with the orchestra and they both have good voices, but I still think we deserved it sounding good with JOEY and the orchestra. I would have died to hear Joey sing that song. Moving on though. Kick it up a notch is always better in rogues medley but I do adore the Jim Brian and Jaime trio anyway. And it’s SUCH a good song. Then they sang I wanna be which I was psyched about I love that song (it was straight from Brant’s verse though like hello what happened to Joey rights). Hearing the older songs makes me wish so much they’d remount them because they all sound so good now it would be amazing. Joey’s voice is legitimately a blessing from the gods. 

MAMD medley Brian introduced the show and walked away from the mic before he said dick, which was funny but also reminded me of how they said this would be the most PG show starkid had done which is laughable. Joey did a whole bit in the beginning that reminded me a lot of his jekyll and hyde performance in shitty broadway. I love that man. Again, we deserve a remount of this show if only for Joey’s voice. Then we have maybe the most iconic moment of the thursday show which is when Joe had way too much excitement for his entrance, fucking sprinted on stage, knocked over the mic stand and had to rescue it, spraining his ankle in the process. And recovered BADLY, he was trying to figure out what to say to pull it back and Joey basically had to tell him to just sing already. I feel a little guilty now because it looked pretty bad, but it was really fucking funny. And then the cheer at the head tilt, why do we all love it so much??!? Then Joey sang Listen to your heart with AJ (him and Brian are a better duo fight me). I loved their little added dialogue, with Joey being like ‘do I smell?’ and AJ being like ‘so bad’. I always always love the little dance break Joey is the sweetest boy. I think I remember something like ‘am I doing it?’ ‘not even close Joey’. Then Alle Faye and Ali came out for ready to go and it went from their bit. It was really nice seeing them back together again. It wasn’t like nearly ten years had gone by at all. God it’s weird how nostalgic I was/am for something I wasn’t even there for. The ‘we’re finally ready’ bit sounded so gorgeous with the orchestra, I had it stuck in my head for days. They slowed it down, and we had everyone on stage, and it was just beautiful. The perfect way to end the act, which was over way too soon, and I was already feeling sad about the show nearly being over even though there was so much good to come. Wait how could I forget to mention the ‘my hormones are freaking out’ bit. Fuck all of them for that. Even if I pretty much just watched Lauren with a quick glance at Joey, which is an accurate description of what I did for a lot of the show.

Intermission First quick thing to say, as much as I wish we’d heard some more full songs from the non-Potter shows, I think I like that they kept it separate. The first half was celebrating everything they achieved since where it all started for them, and the second half was pure nostalgia. And even though I wish it wasn’t the case, more people know the potter shows so it was kinda nice that everyone was even more united than they had been for the first half. Secondly, what I should have done during intermission was used the time to recover, because the show was a whole lot of excitement and emotions and I knew it was only going to get worse in the second half. But instead I yelled to the groupchat and met @starkidmelly. More JATP was played, everyone was buzzing, I couldn’t believe I was there. I think it was a long intermission but it did not feel it, Nick came out on stage and it’s like oh shit here we go again.

Nick’s speech He worried me because he said he wanted to take a minute to get sentimental, and I’d already cried a couple of times it was too early in the show to do it again. But then he just talked about the movie Starkid and how it was a bad movie and made us all laugh which I appreciated. What I really did love was how much people cheered for him when he came out, and also for Matt in the audience when Nick shouted him out. Especially on that first night the happiness on Nick’s face at everyone cheering made me want to cry it was so special and he deserves every bit of it and you could tell it still comes as a surprise even now. Also I’ll tag it on now because I don’t remember exactly at what point it was, but at some point in the second act Corey was telling people to stop filming, which kinda made me mad cause they’d asked people not to film and he looked so mad, but was also kinda funny because like, it’s one thing being stopped from filming by an usher but it’s a whole other thing being stopped by Corey Lubowich himself. I probably would have volunteered to leave the theatre if I disappointed Corey like that tbh. But anyway back to Nick, he introduced GBTH with the original cast of AVPM and everyone fucking lost it.

GBTH So you already know what you’re about to be blessed with and then you hear that opening note and people are impossibly screaming even louder and Darren comes onstage and crouches down and it’s like nothing has really changed at all. I’ve been in a room of people singing this song before and it was magical, but this was even more people and even more special. This is where it all started, and there we were ten years later. And it was so surreal actually hearing them sing this in person. Darren put the glasses on and people went insane. The amount of anticipation I felt for Joey’s entrance was ridiculous, and he got the cheers he deserved (almost. he always deserves more). And no matter how many times we see it or how long it’s been it always makes me feel a lot of feelings seeing Darren and Joey on stage singing this together. Joey messed up the floo powder a bit and it was cute. Still iconic. It was deafening when Bonnie came out, which I guess was to be expected we haven’t seen her in nine years. I will say that she did look genuinely happy to be there, and they looked genuinely happy to have her there. Plus the line ‘why do you have to be such a buzzkill’ was so much more funny with the irony of her pretty much bringing the house down. The nostalgia factor ramped up even more here and it was pretty awesome to have that original trio back on stage after so long. Again, so much but simultaneously so little had changed in ten years and trying to articulate those feelings would require a hundred page essay. I didn’t expect them to change the original but I still think they should have kept Lauren’s altered ‘that would be cool’ line. It’s better. But I digress. Jaime got to do her bit and it was a masterpiece. But rest in peace to the whole Cho Chang and Cedric bit, you were deeply missed. Lauren’s entrance, do I even need to say more? Fucking iconic as ever. One of the best moments in all of history. I’m glad they kept in most of the dialogue-y bits although I do not remember what her accent was like. People delivered on ‘whatever I say’ and I love how that’s become our thing. The train bit always makes me emotional, even more so this time with so many people old and new onstage. I always think of Lauren saying she hates the train move but she should have told her face that. Dylan did his entrance from the back of the theatre aka right by us and it was magnificent, he held the note all the way down to the front. They added in the lines about sorting here so Tyler got to do ‘hufflepuffs are particularly good finders’ which was a good choice they did good on that one, Dylan’s ‘what the hell is a hufflepuff’ was drowned out by people still cheering for Tyler, it was a pretty great moment. I may have cried a bit at ‘it’s all that I love and it’s all that I need’. Just a bit. I loved so much that they got everyone to be a part of this song.

Harry Freaking Potter Have I lost all my memories of this song? Maybe. I remember it being amazing. Predictably I watched Lauren a lot, it’s very hard not to she’s so cute when she’s dancing. It’s funny to me how they hold out the mics for the last ‘harry freaking potter’ but most people are already cheering so they get nothing. They should have learned by now.

To Have A Home Was possibly next? I know I got teary again pretty early on in the act (saved the full crying at this song for Friday though stay tuned). I know I’m very far from being the only person who felt the most at home I’ve ever felt. How can you not, surrounded by so much support and mutual love for these incredible people who’ve done so much for us. Starkid is a huge family and it’s tangible in moments like that. And ‘to know this is real’ hits hard. Especially because you can really feel it from Darren, as famous as he is now being on stage with his friends is truly home.

Different As Can Be There’s just something about this song that brings so much energy and Joe and Brian are an iconic duo. And they brought the Quirrelmort vibes strong. Loved everyone shouting ‘prevails’. I’m super glad they did the reprise too. The reaction when they go back to back is incredible. Also, Joe’s ‘Quirrell’ was impeccable. 

Coolest Girl I will say to Bonnie’s credit that she did a very good job opening this song, considering how many people were there and how much pressure there must have been seeing as she’s suddenly making a reappearance after so many years. And she did get a lot of love for it. But Meredith coming out to duet with her actually made me cry, she looked so happy and they did a cute little ‘hi’ and I really truly consider this Meredith’s song, even if she didn’t originally sing it, so I’m glad she got to do it. It was a special moment having them sing it together with no resentment or jealousy. And then Meredith confirmed that Bonnie was pregnant again at the end of the song.

Cho Chang Of course Darren sang this. Of course. What would a starkid show be without Darren playing his dumb songs on guitar. But nothing beats a room full of people shout-singing ‘that’s in canada’ (side note, why did this stick so much? every time I saw it on the map when I flew to Canada it’s all I could think of). But also, idk why Darren introduced this song by saying he wanted to test if we knew the words like buddy pretty sure we know the words to your songs better than you do but sure.

Hey Dragon More of Darren playing dumb songs on guitar but this is also a pretty fun song so we’re letting it slide. Also he did say that he didn’t want to do this song and said they should cut it to make time for better songs but that everyone else made him do it, which does not surprise me. He obviously had to call out his own songwriting abilities from ten years ago, it makes me laugh every time he does it but this time he really came for himself with how bad the rhyming was and how the lyrics are dumb. I love that he can’t get through the song without laughing because it is pretty stupid but we love it anyway. They trusted us on the ‘la la la’s and I think we came through. 

Granger Danger Okay. OKAY. So after all that Darren was like ‘let’s take it to a school dance’ which did not register for me at all because that song has gone way beyond that and now it’s just Joey and Lauren’s song. But then Darren’s playing it (which I found ??? sweet?? for some reason? idk it was good) and Joey and Lauren are on stage and I’m like here we fucking go. This is what I’m here for. Cannot begin to describe how happy I was to hear this song. I literally had said I refused to die before I heard them sing this live and now it will forever be one of the highlights of my life. The amount of power on that stage. Also the amount of attractiveness. They honestly are a power couple. The most iconic duo singing one of the most iconic songs. Their stage presence just blows me away. And it always makes me feel things too because they’ve done this song so many times and when they were first performing it they had no idea where they’d end up and now they’re fucking living the dream together and I can’t believe how far they’ve come. This is a hole we don’t need to go down though. It absolutely is a crime that they haven’t had more songs together but it does make this one particularly special because it’s fucking THEIR song and there’s no doubt they love performing together and their chemistry is so good anyway anyway I swear I’ll get back on track. This song with the orchestra??!? Holy shit you guys it sounded so good. They managed to take a song I love with every inch of me and make me love it even more. They came out and did a handshake because they’re fucking dorks. My heart genuinely felt like it was about to pump out of my chest, the adrenaline rush from seeing this live was crazy it’s a fucking experience. Joey was remarkably in character when it got to Lauren’s bit but she could not be in character for the life of her when he was singing my god she just did not give a fuck. Her heart eyes were off the charts I swear to god I couldn’t believe that dumb girl. Also Lauren was practically making love to her mic stand half the song which was honestly unnecessary but I love her. And her looking at her crotch murdered me. And then Joey was looking at her for most of the ending and she didn’t look at him once so she sucks. As always the last note was heavenly. When do we get a two hour concert version of this song??

Guys Like Potter Maybe came next? I love the apocalyptour arrangement of this song but it was nice to throw it back to the original and Tyler’s great. Joe tried? We’ll leave it at that.

Wizard Of The Year I think this followed after purely because of AJ saying something like ‘that’s enough about that Potter boy’?? And then he only went and did the whole fucking mouse monologue. And the entire time I was sat there having an internal conflict between ‘this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed’ and ‘they could have used this time to do climate change’. Honestly hearing him pull that out was wild. But then he sang the song and some of the girls came out to do the ‘gilderoy’ bit (which was the best part duh).

To Dance Again The beginning of this song is always iconic. Most important thing to say here is how I’m even more impressed now with Joe’s dancing after seeing what his ankle looked like. Also, hearing all the tapping (thudding) from the audience brings me inexplicable joy. Lauren ran on stage before her cue when Darren came off and had to book it back off and I feel a bit bad immortalising it because I’m sure she’s glad they weren’t filming that night. While we’re on the subject, the Thursday show was a little messy but like, there were no HUGE fuck ups apart from maybe Joe’s in MAMD and it was all surprisingly well rehearsed considering they’d had barely two days of rehearsal and they’re all so so impressive. Still think they should have had a 40 person kickline but the three person Joe Darren and Brosenthal kickline was still pretty good. Also, I remember someone doing a very cool harmony? It maybe sounded like Holden? His voice is underrated. 

Sidekick I cannot remember for the life of me if this is actually where this song goes?? I don’t remember if Joey went offstage or not. I just know that he ended up alone on stage and I damn near lost my mind. I know I’ve said it before but Joey’s performance of sidekick genuinely is a show stealer and I never in a million years thought I’d get to see it live so I feel extremely privileged that I did. God bless whoever included this in the setlist you have my eternal thanks. It’s what Joey deserves (and what I deserve). His voice!?! The high notes?!? Still love the irony of Joey singing this song. Classic cheering at ‘am I the hottest’ because yes you fucking are. He messed up a bit and sang ‘am I the one who takes you home’ twice but we love him. He absolutely killed it and being reminded that they’d not long got back from SDCC and finding out he had a fever made me even more impressed because you literally wouldn’t have known it.

Voldemort Is Going Down More on Joey continuing to kill it (but maybe not in this order). It was good to hear this song again, it slaps. And they all sounded so good too. And there was a super cool little piano riff at one point. This song makes everyone so hype I love it so much.

Everything Ends Haha tear time (jk just about managed to save them for Friday). But it is very much when things get sad because you can feel that the show’s coming to a close. This was Robert’s duet with a person he’d never sung with before and it sounded beautiful. We got the return of Joe’s snape voice or am I imagining that? I don’t remember what he said but I’m sure he said something and it probably made me sad. Literally the whole end of the show is just a blur because I couldn’t believe it was almost over so quickly.

Not Alone Jaime. Just, Jaime. Incredible every time she sings this song. Also, so many AVPW feelings because this is what they came out and sang and this song has been extra special to me since. So I was in tears from the get go tbh. God I’m really really really missing AVPW today so this is a lot just thinking about it. And personal feelings about Bonnie and also how much I love newer arrangements of not alone aside, it was unimaginably special to see the original four singing this together again. 

Days Of Summer We knew they’d save this to the end (or at least so we thought) but it was still a bit of an asshole move ngl. Like, do you enjoy our suffering? Seeing everyone on stage together singing this song that’s at the heart of starkid, if there was anyone who didn’t cry I applaud them. Darren gave a closing speech where he didn’t thank half the people he needed to because he hadn’t rehearsed. I wish I remembered more of what he said because it wasn’t exactly the same as Friday, it also didn’t make me cry half as much which I guess was a bonus. They did the little going back to hogwarts reprise probably partly to make us all feel a bit better and got everyone on their feet for it and as much as I never know which house to say I still love that moment of everyone yelling their house. Then they had “curtain call”, except they faked us out because Brian stayed on stage with his fist in the air and I’m like okay what are these idiots up to now. And Nick came out to tell him they sang all the songs and Voldemort’s dead, which of course meant ‘dead?! *skips stone*’ and we all needed that laugh. And then Joe came out and they did the ‘okay is good’ bit so I was sad again and god they really messed with our emotions. And everyone came back out and did the not alone reprise and literally stomped all over my heart because ten years ago they did the exact same thing, except now they were on a bigger stage with a bigger audience and a bigger family and they’ve all grown so much and achieved so many amazing things in their careers and their personal lives and they’ve grown up a lot but they’re still these college kids at heart who love performing with their friends and making people laugh and I didn’t want to leave my seat after they all walked offstage because it really felt like my soul had left my body and I was just completely emotionally drained. And unbelievably happy that I was getting to experience it all again the next day.

Friday 26th The one thing I have to say about the line this time round is shoutout to the kid handing out red vines, I don’t know how many people actually wanted one but it made me smile. As we were waiting in the lobby we saw Denise x2 (Joey’s mom still looked like the embodiment of kindness and Denise always seems so happy to be there I love them both).

Anyway when we got to our seats I just sat down and was internally screaming because we were So Close to the stage and I was like how on earth am I going to survive seeing this much beauty. Also I knew that some people had different outfits and I was trying to figure out if Lauren and Joey were wearing the same thing cause that was the most important thing so it was an anxious wait. Then when they came out being that close to the crop top nearly killed me and Joey looked even hotter in that red shirt than he did on Thursday so like, I want that image tattooed on my eyelids.

Oh and we saw MK, Sean, Sarah and Whitney up in the balcony before the show started. This is how the conversation went down... Sophie: is that MK up there? Me: I think so, that looks like Sean Sophie: it doesn’t look like Sean? (spoiler alert, it was Sean)

Also to quickly go back to the live atmosphere, Friday night was INSANE oh my god. Whether it was that it was the last show or whether it was being closer to the stage but the room was absolutely electric, it seemed like so many more people - including me this time - were singing and fucking reciting all the lines like it makes me so happy that we’re all fucking nerds who love these other nerds to death and memorise all their shows. As was my plan, the first night I took everything in and then the second night I just got to enjoy it and make the most of it. So the Thursday show it was kind of like I was observing everything but Friday I was LIVING it, and I really was living. It was a fucking party. And I could anticipate what was coming and it somehow made it even more exciting than witnessing everything fresh for the first time. I was literally sat there having the time of my life for two hours and I hope they all saw it, they would have just seen me with a huge fucking grin the whole time (apart from when I was crying we’re not talking about that rn). Maybe the most fun I’ve ever had. It made all the money I’d spent to get there 10000% worth it because as amazing as the DVD is going to be and you bet I’m getting it (well the digital download shipping’s an outrage), you can’t buy the atmosphere in the room and it was incredible to be there.

Okay y’all know the drill now so this is gonna be quickfire:

Act 1

Seeing everyone doing their crazy eyes in TGWDLM up close was an EXPERIENCE. Jon was a stand out. Also Jaime. Being so much closer the energy was so much higher for Join us and die. I think that was really my main thing about Friday, aside from how emotions were even higher, was how crazy the energy was it was SO MUCH FUN. And Robert is pretty great.

Have I mentioned Lauren’s look nearly killing me? Yes? Good. The gay came out full force in Firebringer. Lo’s talent is out of this world and I feel so lucky to have witnessed it live.

So many more people sang for Lauren in Naked in a lake and she looked so happy my baby. I made eye contact with her at one of the points she was holding the out mic for the audience to sing so I’m glad she saw me (quietly but extremely enthusiastically) singing my heart out for her. Joey made Lauren laugh when they were dancing during speedrun and it’s the most adorable shit I’ve ever seen. Those two are genuinely in their own world half the time they’re on stage together and I live for it.

Carlos wasn’t there this night so I think Dylan should have filled in for his verse of 1001 nights but my ideas are worthless right? Oh have I mentioned how much I live for over a thousand people yelling tigerfucker? And Robert smashed ‘he fucked a tiger’. Also I’m sure they did it the first night too but I noticed even more Denise and Meredith encouraging everyone to cheer when Joe was doing the dialogue bit I adore them.

Brant got so out of time on I wanna be my god Joey looked like he was trying to telepathically tell him to slow down but he never really recovered. But the chaotic energy felt appropriate? It’s not a starkid show without a mess up.

Joe’s MAMD entrance was more controlled this time but honestly it’s a shame the fuck up won’t be on the filmed version because it was definitely a highlight (I hope you’re okay Joe). Mere and Brian had their arms round each other when they were singing ready to go and I was hit with the ‘oh my god they’re getting MARRIED’ feels. Look how far they’ve come. They were also making faces at each other during one song, I don’t remember which one, and giving Joey and Lauren a run for their money for being in their own world. Still not nearly as bad though.

Intermission 

I remember even less of this intermission than the first one. I was just in total shock. Also when we came back from the intermission Nick went ‘two people just got engaged’ and almost literally stopped my heart like I KNOW that’s not how it’s gonna happen but where did he expect me to go with it. And then he wanted to be reminded of their names but someone shouted ‘Joe and Traci’ so he had to be like ‘no I’m not talking about them’ which made me laugh a lot.

Act 2

GBTH was somehow even better this time round. It’s actually a spiritual experience. 100% my happy place. Also Joey didn’t have the headband the first night and I didn’t know I needed it until he came out wearing one on Friday, it was weirdly emotional.

To have a home was worse this time around because I had to come to the realisation that I was gonna leave this home behind. That’s always the worst part, it was the same with AVPW, it’s not just that I miss it it’s also that it’s this happy, safe little bubble where everything feels okay and it’s so sad to lose that. So yeah, cried a lot this time. Also Darren went offstage on Thursday too in the instrumental but this time he went offstage and ran round to the other side to come back on which was so much better good job Darren.

When Lo and Joey shook hands for granger danger they both had such cute smiles my HEART. Lauren still had heart eyes for Joey singing, she was just stood there grinning at him the whole time she loves him so much jesus christ. Also she was staring at him when they were both singing the ‘falling in love’ bit just saying. And they got super close to each other for the end but kept alternating looking at the other person and the audience so they were never actually looking at each other and it KILLED me I hate them. I also didn’t even think twice about singing Lauren’s part during granger danger until halfway through oops and now I kind of want to apologise, Mr Joey Richter I love you.

You could tell there were a fair few people in the audience who’d seen one or both of the other shows and knew what was coming so actually shouted out ‘what’s your fantasy’ when AJ was working up to the mouse monologue which made it even better. It was just as insane and funny the second time, but I still couldn’t believe they actually put it in there.

Back to Mr Joey Richter, he brought the house down with sidekick even more than on Thursday. He’s so talented y’all. You’d expect more cheering for ‘am I the one who takes you home’ but the urge for everyone to yell ‘definitely not’ is too much and it cracks me up. And he pointed at the very least in my direction when he sang the last ‘I love being at your side’ so I’ll take it for SURE.

They got everyone standing even earlier on in the show (during voldemort is going down) and I just felt a sense of elation, the whole show but at this point in particular, because everyone was there having a fucking amazing time and pouring out so much love, from our direction and from theirs, and I feel like that song really does do what it’s supposed to and make us feel united.

Everything ends made me cry a lot because it actually was the end this time, and starkid have some fucking heart wrenching goodbye songs that are supposed to make you feel better but really don’t at all. Not alone made me cry more, obviously. Days of summer was so much worse because it really was goodbye, me having to say goodbye to seeing them and one of the best experiences of my life, them having to say goodbye to each other. SO. MANY. TEARS.

Random point, Lauren looked so fucking cute when she came out in her varsity jacket with the sleeves pushed up because it was too big for her I just wanted to hug her.

Joey and Lauren kept looking at each other during Darren’s speech, Joey in particular kept trying to catch Lo’s eye which killed me he’s too soft. And Lauren pulled a face at the mention of a twenty year reunion like she felt way too old for that and he was smiling at her I hate them. 

There were a lot of tears, Joey and Tiffany especially and Lauren pulled her trying not to cry face. In the speech Darren said something about starkid bringing about this group of friends and Joey’s wide eyed already-crying-but-trying-not-to-cry-even-more-face was both heartbreaking and funny and I hope it makes it onto the DVD. I don’t remember much else of the speech other than that it was incredibly emotional and it very well summed up a lot of what we were all feeling about the show and how special starkid was. Also I made eye contact with Joey when we were both crying and we smiled at each other (tried to) and honestly that was a bonding moment for us.

And we saw Bob and Denise on our way out which caused a whole lot more feelings because those are their kids up there performing with all their other honorary kids and yep we’re done here.

I don’t really know how to bring this all to a neat end. I don’t really think there is one. It’s an experience that can’t fully be put into words, the emotions it brought up aren’t ones that I can properly label, and it’s going to stick with me forever. But it was a reminder of how special starkid is. Watching their shows at home, scrolling through their social media, of course it brings me so much joy it’s my reason for living. But getting to see them live and feel the impact they’ve had on so many people? Getting to do it with a friend I made because of them? I just wish I had the words or the time to give them the thanks I wish I could. I really hope they felt the sheer, deep love we all feel for them over those two days.

Anyway, I know this was way too long and half of it wasn’t information people care about but I’m done now. And I’m so excited for the DVD and (hopefully) album so I can experience it all again!

[captainkirkmccoy]

From: George Kirk <georgiakirk@StarfleetPrepatory.fd>                                    To: Joanna McCoy <joanna.mccoy@woodwordacademy.fd>                    Subject: Friendly Head’s Up

Hi, 

So, this might be the weirdest thing I’ve ever done and you might think I’m crazy but here it goes.

Our dads are meant to be together. 

My dad’s name is Jim Kirk. He’s a second year command track cadet at the Academy. Your dad and my dad are roommates. Dad says he’s the only sane person around and that your dad saved his life like a million times. My mom says my dad has the mental capacity of a twelve-year-old boy and is as accident prone as one too. 

Oh and don’t worry. My parents aren’t together. Mom says dad was an unfortunate mistake but that I’m the best thing that happened to her. She didn’t tell my dad that I existed for like twelve years. Don’t know why I just wrote that. Oh well. 

I’ve never met your dad but he seems nice from what my dad says. Actually, he’s pretty much all he talks about. He calls him Bones for some reason. “Georgie, Bones told me the coolest joke.” Or “George, do you know what Bones and I did?”

And before you ask, because everyone does, yes. I was named after my grandpa and hero George Kirk not the state. I like my name. For a while, it was the only connection to my dad I had.

Anyway, do you wanna help me get our dads together?

Let me know!

George Kirk

***

From: Joanna McCoy <joanna.mccoy@woodwardacademy.fd>                      To: George Kirk <georgiakirk@StarfleetPrepatory.fd>                               Subject: Re: Friendly Head’s Up

George,

It’s beyond weird that you’re emailing me. We’re practically strangers! 

My dad’s mentioned your dad too. He usually calls him an idiot or infant or kid. I think it’s in an affectionate way? I don’t know, grownups are weird. 

I’m not sure its a good idea to get our dads together. My dad is still upset from my parent’s divorce and he has a lot of work to do while at the Academy. This is supposed to be a fresh start for him. He doesn’t need any distractions. And from what I’ve heard...Jim Kirk is a distraction. 

Sincerely, 

Joanna Beth McCoy

Honor Society Vice President, Woodward Academy

First Chair Viola, Woodward Academy Orchestra 

***

From: George Kirk <georgiakirk@StarfleetPrepatory.fd>                                   To: Joanna McCoy <joanna.mccoy@woodwordacademy.fd>                   Subject: Re: Re: Friendly Head’s Up

What do you mean, he’s a distraction?

***

From: Joanna McCoy <joanna.mccoy@woodwardacademy.fd>                      To: George Kirk <georgiakirk@StarfleetPrepatory.fd>                               Subject: Re: Re: Re: Friendly Head’s Up

My mom’s fiancé Clay says your dad will probably drop out of the Academy. If he’s not kicked out first. And the tabloids report that he failed some important test that all command track cadets need to pass to graduate? That sucks! 

But you’re lucky! Your dad might not go to space. I wish my dad was back in Georgia. He doesn’t need to be a doctor on a spaceship! He could run my grandpa’s old clinic. It would be safer. Don’t you worry about your dad?

Sincerely,

Joanna Beth McCoy

Honor Society Vice President, Woodward Academy

First Chair Viola, Woodward Academy Orchestra

***

From: George Kirk <georgiakirk@StarfleetPrepatory.fd>                                    To: Joanna McCoy <joanna.mccoy@woodwordacademy.fd>                    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Friendly Head’s Up

Wow, your mom’s fiancé sounds like an asshole. My dad WILL NOT drop out of the Academy or get kicked out. He’s really smart. Like smarter than you can imagine. He’s going to be the youngest captain in Starfleet history.

I’m sorry I emailed you. It was a waste of time. 

And I don’t worry about my dad. He’s got good people watching out for him. Like your dad. My dad says that he and your dad will be on a ship together as CMO (that’s Chief Medical Officer) and Captain one day. Sorry your dad isn’t coming back to Georgia but it’s all been decided already. And when I get to high school, I’ll be able to spend a summer on the ship with them. That’s pretty freaking cool, if you ask me. 

George Kirk

From: Joanna McCoy <joanna.mccoy@woodwardacademy.fd>                      To: George Kirk <georgiakirk@StarfleetPrepatory.fd>                               Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Friendly Head’s Up

George, 

What do you mean it’s already been decided??

Dad said that if anything he was planning on getting a job at a space station or colony a few warps from earth. I know nothing about him being on a ship. He hates space! Your dad was probably telling you what he hoped would happen. 

And how is it that you get to go on a ship as a high schooler? Isn’t that dangerous? Won’t you interrupt the ship’s flow or something?

P.S. Yeah, Clay is a REAL a-hole. 

Joanna Beth McCoy

Honor Society Vice President, Woodward Academy

First Chair Viola, Woodward Academy Orchestra

***

From: George Kirk <georgiakirk@StarfleetPrepatory.fd>                                   To: Joanna McCoy <joanna.mccoy@woodwardacademy.fd>                  Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Friendly Head’s Up

I told you they were meant to be together. That means that when they graduate, they’ll end up on a ship together. Dad says that Bones doesn’t trust another CMO to take care of him and also Dad promised your dad that he would make sure nothing bad happened to your dad in space, as long as they were together. 

And I’m a part of an accelerated Starfleet Academy Prep program during the summer. It’s VERY selective.  It’s like camp but cooler. We do drills, take flying lessons, communication courses and even get to shadow a Starfleet lieutenant! You should see if you can join! You would be able to spend more time with your dad. 

George

***

From: Joanna McCoy <joanna.mccoy@woodwardacademy.fd>                      To: Doctor Leonard McCoy <leonard.mccoy@starfleetacademy.fd>     Subject: Starfleet Camp?

Dear Daddy, 

I tried calling but you didn’t answer your comm. I hope I’m not bothering you. 

Did you know that Jim (your roommate) has a daughter my age? We’ve been talking...she seems pretty eccentric. 

Anyway, she mentioned a Starfleet Camp that she was a part of and it looked cool. I would love to visit you in San Francisco this summer!

Do you think you can send over an application on a padd? I tried to access it but it’s only available to Stafleet members. I guess you have to be referred?

Thanks, Daddy. Love you!

Xoxox 

Jo 

***

From: Doctor Leonard McCoy <leonard.mccoy@starfleetacademy.fd>            To: Joanna McCoy <joanna.mccoy@woodwardacademy.fd>           Subject: Re: Starfleet Camp?

Jo Jo! 

How are you, Darlin’? You minding your Mama?

Sorry I missed your call, sweet pea. I just finished up a shift at the Academy clinic. Just about to finish up some homework. Can you believe your daddy gets homework just like you?

Are you sure you want to go to Starfleet Camp, Jo? What happened to the performing arts camp you went to last year? I would love for you to come visit but you don’t need to go to camp for that. Although, it would be nice for you to spend some time with Georgia. I think you two would get along--just like Jim and I did (even if we agree they’re both eccentric. Don’t tell him I said this, but I’d go crazy if it weren’t for the kid. Keeps things interesting around here.)

I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon after my classes. We can talk more about camp, okay, sweetheart?

Love, 

Your daddy

***

From: Jocelyn McCoy <JMcCoy@federationmail.fd>                                        To: Doctor Leonard McCoy<leonard.mccoy@starfleetacademy.fd>    Subject: Camp

Leonard, what in the hell did you put into Jo’s head? A Starfleet camp? Are you out of your mind? You can barely stand the idea of a cross-country flight on a shuttle and now you want our daughter to train to go to space? Like she’s some cannon fodder? 

You’ve got to put a stop to this. You do not get to make me the bad guy here. 

***

From: Jocelyn McCoy <JMcCoy@federationmail.fd>                                        To: Doctor Leonard McCoy <leonard.mccoy@starfleetacademy.fd>  Subject: Re: Camp

Jesus H. Christ, Joce. She’s my daughter too. And she’s the one that requested the camp. I never brought it up. Our agreement was that she would spent part of the summer with me. If that means she wants to attend camp while here, then so be it. Let her have fun. 

***

From: Joanna McCoy <joanna.mccoy@woodwardacademy.fd>                      To: George Kirk <georgiakirk@StarfleetPrepatory.fd>                               Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Friendly Head’s Up

Guess who’s coming to camp? Thanks for letting me know about it. 

And I finally get to meet your dad too. Have you met my dad yet?