#anyway rotating how Ted feels about AM like flinging him through several hundred laps in the large hadron collider

[nonbinary-beast]

TedxAMaton stuff

I figure after Am and Ted make good headway, or even during the process, Ted finds out that there is a part of him that is indeed attracted to the machine. Perhaps it has grown on him after years of being in its presence, or maybe there has been something in him that has indeed admired its form since AM had given itself a body.

Under a cut since its long and a tad suggestive.

Regardless, something does manage to spark there much to Ted's surprise- part of him wonders if it has to do with having sought him out enough to sit in the machine's arms and inevitably fall asleep there. He figures that it is just the agreement that they have between them that keeps AM from mauling him, but if that were the case, then why does he find it or perhaps... him, giving a gentle kiss to the top of his head before he slips into a restful slumber?

Why does he find it comforting instead of offputting?

Why does he so often find himself now needing that immense presence, that warm, smooth chrome surface pressing against him when he rests? When he is distraught? When he... wants to be held by the machine? It is nearly alien for him to think it, he feels, after over a century of torment. But then again, their truce has lasted about half that time, or so AM had told him.

He still liked updating Ted on what day it was, the time of day, the month, and how long it has been since AM had stopped tormenting him and began teaching him how to love again. Although recently he stopped insinuating that this was for his own amusement.

Ted's sudden need for AM's presence in his life was purely chemical in nature, the machine had reasoned when Ted had finally asked him. What he was feeling were the effects of serotonin and oxytocin, which had been released whenever they were in positive contact with each other. Every touch, every time Ted was held, kissed, each time he leaned against AM or they had some form of meaningful time spent together, there were a few drops released into his system- not by AM's doing of course, he had been quick to point out. He had been clear to ensure that during this exercise that there would be no tampering.

Initially it was because it would be all the more sweeter for Ted to fall for him on his own, but now AM loathed the idea of tampering with his mind for some other reason. It took a while for him to admit it, but he had grown attached to Ted in turn outside him being the last of his playthings.

Though AM did not romanticize things, he was right. Spending time with the machine over the years since their truce felt good, he kept coming back, and now he felt an attachment to him outside of their prior tormentor/tormentee relationship. But there is more to it that Ted has noticed, and is uncertain about.

For instance, the way he stares at the machine a little too long when his back is turned- not so much thinking about anything in particular, but admiring. The way his chrome form gleams under the artificial lights, how reflections warp around the perfect contours of his body. His eyes follow the lines of each sculpted artificial muscle group, and he cannot help the wandering thought of perhaps letting his hands explore them.

When Ted is in AM's arms, in close proximity to that maw which mauled him so relentlessly before, and kisses him so gently currently before he slips into his dreams; there is an urge to reach out and touch his lips, trace them, slip his fingers between them and bravely venture into his mouth. He finds a desire, much like an intrusive thought and a secret all in one, to touch the sharp blade-like teeth that tore into him years ago without hesitation.

AM had to have been reading his mind still, he thought, when at one point the machine opened wide in a yawn and let it linger there. Once Ted had gotten over staring at that array of curving blades presented before him, he caught AM watching him.

No, he was waiting.

Carefully, Ted let his fingertips graze over AM's lips, getting a little more confident once he found that the jaws did not snap closed immediately. His heart pounded in his chest as he let his fingers trace the edge of one of the larger curved blades that served a dual purpose of incisor and canine, expecting the machine to snap his hand off like a guillotine, but that sudden severing jolt of agony never comes.