#anyway something something this is what gifted kid syndrome used to mean

[quodekash]

AAAAAA HIDDEN AGENDA ITS FINALLY HERE

I CRIED WHILE WATCHING THE TRAILER TWO WEEKS AGO AND IM STILL NOT SURE WHY, BUT I DO KNOW THAT IM FREAKING EXCITED FOR IT SO LETS GOOOO

friends and foes, ladles and gentlespoons, humans and robots and aliens, i present to you: the very first line in this entire series.

truly eye-opening.

same.

also LOUIS

HELLO LOUIS

ILY LOUIS

dunk with glasses is a gift we dont deserve but we do love it and are eternally grateful for it

boy you're whipped already

IM CRYING

WHY AM I CRYING AT THAT

HES JUST STARING AT HIM WHY IS THAT CAUSE FOR TEARS

why are people attractive.

we have this bitch. we have dunk in glasses.

im dying over here.

"i booked the studio. and you're over by 5 minutes. how would you pay me back?" idk man, i think you should make out for 5 minutes. it only seems fair.

BRO I WAS KIDDING WHY ARE YOU STEPPING THAT CLOSE TO HIM

OISHI SPONSORSHIP

(welcome to my blog, im obsessed with oishi despite never having tried it (YET, ill find an asian grocer with it one day))

THEM

IM PRETTY SURE THEYRE ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS I CRIED DURING THE TRAILER

I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH

is this the library from my engineer.

it is not the library from my engineer :(

ITS SUCH SIMPLE HUMOUR BUT ITS SO FUNNY TO ME

bro louis' character is such a mood in this

what is it with characters called pat and being me-coded

interesting book placement, right next to the book theyre looking for

i get that its in the political section but i like that 'gender violence' and 'violence against lesbians and gay men' and 'breaking the silence: violence against women in asia' are just right there, like gmmtv is trying to say something

idk what theyre saying, im too tired to decipher it, but i think thats pretty interesting

anyway

AJ IS SO TALL AND LOUIS IS SO SHORT AND ITS SO FUNNY TO ME

dO YOU MEAN PRANSOCOOL????

pls theyre gossiping about him on the bus and they have no idea that HES ON THE BUS and his reactions are so funny, i love him so much

nice. very casual. he'll have no idea that you like him.

THEYRE BOTH SO PRETTY

AND ALSO HOT

AND ATTRACTIVE

AND SO PRETTY

I LOVE THEM

I LOVE PEOPLE

IM TOO PAN FOR THIS, SEND HELP

WITH WHO???

IS IT PERHAPS WITH UH

THE CHARACTER PLAYED BY AOU? i forgot his name

g u y

not kidding, guy is literally his actor's name

G U Y

i think it's entirely unfair that joong is so pretty and attractive AND he's so talented at singing. its very rude

awww he caught him

REASSURING BACK RUBS WHILE HE THROWS UP THATS SO SWEET

IF THIS LINE GETS TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT IM--

oh you think he's so cute (you're right)

HSDFSDFSHDFDS

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THIS

that conversation was literally

"punch yourself" "okay." "wait dont punch yourself" "so youve forgiven me?" "nope. now come with me to a room where itll just be us two and i'll probably end up serenading you with my voice and guitar, and itll leave you feeling really confused"

like. what the hell.

HIS HAIR IS SO PRETTY

kiss.

b r o

theyre so queer and i cannot deal with it

ITS SO UNFAIR HOW PRETTY HE IS

bro is just being so upfront about stuff, gosh damn. i could never.

also that line reminded me of "i just like to see your face (when you lose)" from bad buddy

THE EPISODE IS OVER ALREADY??

he's gay, hun, that's gonna be a little bit difficult

THAT WAS A LOVELY START TO THE SERIES

im not quite obsessed with it yet, but i suppose thats because there hasnt been a side couple introduced yet, and i am an unfortunate example of Side Couple Syndrome, BUT as of currently, joke and zo are lovely and joongdunk are lovely and this series seems lovely, and i am very excited for episode 2

[fluffypotatey]

Yeah, the Knights of the Round Table are cool, but what about the Squires of the Round Table? I want to know about the pack of hapless adolescents that are supposed to be learning the finer points of knighthood from THEE most chaotic bastards to ever share a braincell.

(Merlin unknowingly becomes, like, the patron saint of squires bc if he can handle Arthur, they can handle their respective masters as well)

no ok i'm in love with this. the squires of the round table is the spin off i didn't know we needed, but by GOD am i glad you told me, anon.

(you are a GEM, anon, i'm in love with you)

the squires for knights are the round table's adopted children. oh, sorry, was that kid the son of such and such??? he's leon's boy now. they all have youngest sibling syndrome so sorry i don't make the rules and yes they do treat merlin like he's a mob wife.

anyway,

these squires would get up to so much shit omfg. if you're the squire to gwaine, have fun upsetting your noble father (because most squires come from the nobility and since arthur took down that rule when he became, then there became this influx of squires who were from the common people) and learning that doing illegal shit is the best thing and you've only tasted a sliver of what gwaine has been doing since he was 13 but you LOVE IT---

squires of sir leon are trained into how to become the mom friend. it's not much, but it's hard work. sometimes the little squires pity their knight because he is not paid enough for for the antics his other knights and king get into ("poetry??? seriously, is that what they told him???" "idk that's roland said" "maybe we should gift him some more moisturizer?"). yes they do treat sir leon with the respect they would give an older cousin.

sir elyan is very new to all this...squire business but he's not one to let his little men (little brothers tbh) be caught slacking. he has them run drills everyday and they complain about it all the time ,but then you'll find them in an empty room perfecting their forms, and making sure it's perfect because sir elyan deserves the best. and he called nathan's form "superb" but nathan's a bitch and you just think that if you get this form right---

elyan teaches his squires moves that were taught to him by tristan and isolde because they totally worked together while elyan was away and he respects them so much and misses them and wonders if they ever got the chance to settle down and breath like they had dreamed

sir percival is second on the list of knights who teaches his squires the more traditional way (first is leon obvi) but that does not mean he let's them fall behind with dirty tricks. listen, this man was friends with lancelot (honorable, noble, dreamed of being a knight since he was prob 15) so he knows the intricacies of knighthood; however, he is also besties with gwaine and elyan both of whom are a chaotic combination if put in the same room. the squires are granted the perfect balance of swishy swordplay and body slamming a bitch. sleeves??? don't know her. the squires beg percival for them to cover their arms and he is offended.

sir lancelot, the epitome of honor and loyalty, is a force to work with. the squires think that he'll be the one whose teaching will lead them far off adventures and gain cool ass scares. lancelot is actually the old coot who grants wisdom like an old man who's lived two lifetimes. his training is unusual but somehow it works. the chores he assigns aren't demeaning, nor are they used as punishment. you are lancelot's squire for a week and you immediately understand that this man is a man who has his heart on his sleeve and you watch as he gazes at the king, the queen, and the manservant. his eyes always fond and full of...something. you are too young to pick up on a deep and unconditional emotion like that. not yet.

[disorganizedkitten]

This Is The Road To Ruin Chapter One

Harry Potter | 2022 | 6,362 | Ao3 | Masterlist | Next

And We're Starting At The End Magic is real. That's probably supposed to be the most important bit, here, but to Eden's kids that doesn't mean much. There are a lot of magical children without families, just as there are even more nonmagical children without them. Eden's takes them both and tells them to get along, it's probably just genetics. The actual important bit is this: Harry Doe gets his Hogwarts letter on July 24th, 1991. For someone who's birthday is November 11th, 1980, that's a touch odd, but whatever. For someone whose magic doesn't work quite right, that's more odd, but he knows better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. Adapting to a largely new culture, making friends, and spontaneously bleeding whenever he's around a specific professor? Yeah, so there's a Reason Florine didn't think he'd make it to Hogwarts. Still, he's gonna make the best of it; even if that means ignoring That Weird Potter Kid, befriending the Obviously Raised By A Serial Killer Dormmate, and joining a conspiracy labelled 'blue and yellow make green for a reason, children'.

24/7/91

 Harry got his Hogwarts letter today! He was so happy about it. I am too. We haven’t been able to tell Clemencia yet, but everyone else knows. Aletris is already teasing him about his future house, although Hana’s reactions make me think he’s not remembering them right. Or maybe she’s just teasing; I don’t remember them either. They’re not important, so long as he makes friends and feels comfortable.

 Ravenclaw is the perfect place for the girls, so I can only hope Harry goes to one perfect for him.

 ... don’t tell Harry, but I was a little worried he wouldn’t get one. And it’s a year early, that worries me. We’re not going to edit the birth certificate, but if magic reads his birthday as before September first, that opens a whole new set of opportunities for his birth family. I don’t want them to find him, but we’ve had this conversation before.

 I was worried that his shapeshifting was going to be like Tansy’s smoke, a sign that something was supremely wrong and the wizarding world didn’t want him either.

I might be jealous, but only a little bit. I don’t want to know what would’ve happened if they were successful.

 Anyway, we’re picking up Clem first thing tomorrow morning, and heading off to Diagon Alley! Hana says that she has most of the third year booklist too, so we can get their supplies all at once, and send someone for the final things in August. Aletris-

***

 Minerva McGonagall, Transfiguration Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, hummed as she looked at the unfortunately familiar building. Eden’s was painted on the little picket sign in the front yard, with a tree curving up over the word and an apple leaf instead of an apostrophe. Despite the sadness implicit in this place, she forced her thoughts to warm, considering the letter in her pocket.

 It was a familiar name, which made the trek to this place simultaneously more and less depressing.

 She entered the gate, looking warmly over the well-used yard. There were kids playing in a sprinkler on one side, and she waved when one of them caught her eye. That set off a chain reaction of kids waving, which made Minerva smile. How cute.

 She rapped sharply on the door, as was her custom, and was let in by the Matron of this not-orphanage. Minerva had called it an orphanage once and was promptly treated to a lecture about how orphanages were dead.

 “Hey,” she said with an easy smile. Mrs. Konstantina Calmiris was also a widow, and Minerva was relatively sure they had almost been in the same year, or would have been had Konstantina had magic. She was stout and kind, with graying blonde hair and blue/hazel heterochromia. As Minerva had heard it, Mrs. Calmiris had started the group home out of a severe case of empty-nester’s syndrome after her child had run off to the circus with her full approval.

 She also, oddly enough, had quite the knowledge of magic. Minerva had considered sending an Obliviator after her, but decided that it was justified as Mrs. Calmiris was essentially the single parent of fifteen kids. And with the number of muggleborns Minerva had delivered letters to either in this building or who had come back to this building at some point in summer, obliviating her would have been more work than it was worth anyway.

 “Good Morning, Mrs. Calmiris,” Minerva returned, just as warmly.

 “Is that Professor McGonagall?”

 Mrs. Calmiris grinned impishly and shouted down the hallway. “Yes, actually!”

 There was an excited yell, and one of her sixth-year lions came scrambling out of the drawing room. Jeanette Scott. “Awesome! Professor, I had a question about the Fawcett principle; it said in chapter seven that all transfigurations are finite and will fade, depending on the amount of magic put into it, right? But then what about magically transfigured houses? By all accounts they should fall, making it a completely illegal and unsafe building practice!”

 “The key to that, Miss Scott, is the materials. If you transfigured the shape of wood, but not the amount, the transfiguration doesn’t fade because there’s no extra energy there. The same cannot be said of turning your teacup into a kitten; not only do you change the mass, you change the properties.”

 “Huh,” Scott said. “Thanks, Professor. Are you here for Harry?”

 “Likely,” Minerva hummed. “Harry Doe?”

 “That’s the one. I’ll go get him.” Jeanette ducked outside.

 Mrs. Calmiris led her to the same office she had used every other time – Konstantina didn’t allow strangers, especially adults, into her children’s rooms, ever. It had been a fight the first time Minerva came to Eden’s, nine years ago.

 Minerva took her seat with grace. They existed in silence, Konstantina digging through her papers from behind her desk. “July thirty-first,” she murmured, nose in her pocket calendar.

 Minerva hummed inquiringly.

 Konstantina glanced up and shot her a tight smile, before putting a note in one of her many, many files. “You deliver letters exactly a week before birthdays, correct?”

 “Yes,” Minerva agreed.

 There was a knock on the door, and then a child popped their head in. “Jeanie said I was needed, Tanti?”

 “Yeah, come on in, Hawthorne.”

 Hadn’t they said Harry?

 He came in all the way and closed the door; after a quick glance at the other chair in the office, he hopped onto a clear corner of the desk instead. Minerva tried in vain to smother her smile as he looked at her, feet kicking. He was surprisingly pale for a child so late in summer, with just the touches of a sunburn across his nose and arms, wet, dark hair plastered to his forehead, and slightly disturbing eyes. They were bright green, as though someone had caught the killing curse in marbles and stuck them in. There was a pang of sadness as she pushed away a niggling sense of recognition; there had been too many orphans made of the last war, orphans whose parents she’d taught or fought with personally.

 “Are you Mr. H. Doe, of the Mint Room?”

 “Yep. Hawthorne Doe, nice to meet you.”

 “You as well,” she said warmly. As likely as it was that he already knew of magic, she still looked forward to explaining. “I’m Professor McGonagall, of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”

 As she spoke, a look of excited awe dawned over Doe’s face. “Is this- do you- I thought not until next year?”

 And oh, Minerva realized with a pang. The poor child didn’t even know his own birthday. “No, Mr. Doe. We’d love to see you on September first.” She offered the letter, green ink glimmering in the office’s light.

 He took it reverently, smoothing out the folds gently. “You’re sure I’m supposed to go?"

 “The magic is never wrong, Mr. Doe. You’re part of the 1991 intake.”

 She watched happily as a smile slid over his face, and he turned to look at Mrs. Calmiris. “Can I go tell the others?”

 “Pack your bag for the weekend, and I’ll take you over.”

 His smile managed to get brighter. “Thank you! And you, Professor!” he added, turning to her. “Do I need to pen a formal acceptance?”

 “Merely say you’ll be there on September first, Mr. Doe, and it’ll be official.”

 He nodded. “I’m absolutely going to be at Hogwarts September first.”

 “Good, now, before I let you go-“ she made sure to stress the statute of secrecy, knowing it would likely be ignored anyway and not caring as much as she likely should, and also handed him a card for the Hogwarts Stipend. “Present this to the Goblins at Gringotts, and it should cover most if not all of your supplies.”

 Mrs. Calmiris didn’t even try to argue this time; the first few, she had, because apparently the muggle government gave her a stipend per child that she would gladly use to cover the expenses, but Minerva had talked her into it the second summer, after Konstantina had met her fuming about the home that one of her kids had been in for the first half of the summer. Minerva convinced her that even if she covered their expenses while she watched them, the money could be put into savings accounts and be there for an emergency, or, if all went well, be used to buy friends Christmas presents. 

***

 Tanti, as Mrs. Calmiris preferred her kids to call her (because it sounded like tante and Mrs. Calmiris was nothing if not in love with languages) was the best, for a multitude of reasons, but the most common one was that she got it. She’d had many kids throughout her years, and she understood and noticed that some of them got more attached than others did. She put in the work to make sure that they stayed in contact, if not outright together, which had been Harry’s saving grace when he was seven. Jacinta had moved out as soon as she was eighteen, moving in with Aletris and Florine instead. As she’d raised him up until that point, it was a big change. He shuddered to think of how bad his abandonment issues would be if he hadn’t been allowed to visit.

 Tanti made him promise to have one of them call her if he wasn’t coming home tomorrow night (he kindly didn’t tell her that this apartment was more home than Eden’s nowadays) before leaving him at the bottom of their building, secure in the knowledge that he’d be okay.

 With his siblings, what else could he be? He made his way upstairs to their apartment, and opened the door with a grin, catching sight of his favorite sister right away.

“Jacinta! Guys, guess what?”

 “Celosia’s food arrived?” Jacinta asked, only half serious. Or so Harry hoped. She was reading A Dramatic Retelling Of The Midnight Ride , the cover done mostly in bright blues and yellows reminiscent of a Van Gogh painting.

 "Not yet," Harry said, kicking the door closed and dropping his suitcase in the tiny entryway. "Are you running low?"

 He hoped not, but he couldn't remember the last time they had gotten food. He could talk them into swinging by the pet store when they go to Diagon Alley, though.

 "No," Jacinta said. "He's just whiny."

 Harry ducked his head, hiding a fond smile she wouldn’t see anyway, and darted into the little living room.

 The Garden Apartment was small, with only two bedrooms, one bath, and a kitchen-dining-living room that bled together. It could, generously, be called an open floor plan, with the kitchen and dining room each taking up a quarter of the floor, separated by a counter, while the other half had stained beige carpet and was their living room, denoted by the blue tie-dye sofa and large, glass windows. And the snake cage, with a heavy heat lamp and brightly colored serpent inside. "Celosia!"

 "Two-leaf!" The snake said, rearing up happily. "Smoke-nestmate is a wonderful hunter, you should let her teach you!"

  "She is," Harry agreed, a little uncomfortable. Florine's 'hunting' was… not something they talked about. "How are you?" He reached down, and Celosia wrapped around his wrist.

  Celosia began to regale him with tales of sneaking around the kitchen to try and eat a raw egg without Aletris catching him.

 Celosia was a blue coral snake, scales done primarily in dark blue, but with a pillar box red head and tail, and two light blue stripes connecting them.

 Harry carried Celosia over and leaned on Jacinta's back. "You didn't guess my news."

 Jacinta went stiff for half a second. Harry pressed harder into her side. Jacinta took a deep breath, and when she spoke next it was a little warmer, a little more excited. "Are you going to Hogwarts?"

 "I'm going to Hogwarts!" Harry agreed, vibrating.

 She leaned back into him, catching his head in a one-armed hug. "I'm proud of you."

 "Thank you," Harry said softly. "Do you know where the others are?"

 She nodded, twisting off her chair. "Aletris and Tansy are shopping, Clem's at work, and Hana's been practicing for her marathon. Clemsr's still with the Gibsons, so she won't be here for dinner but I'll get Hana."

 Jacinta Pérez was an odd woman, but Harry wouldn't trade her for the world. Aside from her latent ability to locate her family, she was also an absolute flower nerd - specifically, their meanings. Thus, everyone but Harry had a matching nickname, and his wasn't flower related only because Jacinta had been able to give him a flower as his legal name.

 Hawthorns were a flower of love and protection. Tansys were violent, a declaration of war . Edelweiss was for courage, devotion and loyalty. Salvia for connections, thinking of you. Heliotrope for ambition, Cornflower a good luck charm.

 (Harry meant ruler. Florine meant flower. Aletris meant corn grinder. Jacinta for beautiful, drawn from the Greek Hyacinth. Hana meant happiness, drawn from another flower. Clemencia meant merciful.)  

 "Well," Jacinta said, letting him bring her to the living room. "Tell me all about it!"

 He grinned, sat down beside her, and started talking.

 ***

 "Florine!"

 "Why is there screaming?" His eldest sister asked, half-materializing in the kitchen. The smoke of her form moved back and forth over brown skin, solidifying into groceries every time more wrapped around her hand. Florine Dupont and Jacinta Peréz could easily be mistaken for biological siblings, something they’d taken advantage of many times; both had brown skin and dark hair; black in Florine’s case, and brown in Jacinta’s. Florine’s eyes were hazel, when they weren’t a surprisingly demonic white.

 "Harry reached a milestone ," Jacinta sung proudly, leisurely following his mad dash to the kitchen.

 Harry slammed into her middle, not minding the freezing mist that danced around them both. "I'm going to Hogwarts!"

 "You're- Harry that's great!" There was a clatter as she dropped the rest of the groceries and scooped him up. There was the vicious feeling of too-hot too-cold not-there and then they were in the living room and she was cupping his face, brown eyes jubilant. Harry grinned back at her.

 "I know!"

 There were things they didn't talk about with the other witches in the family, like the fact that neither of their magic worked quite right. Harry hadn't expected a letter, even though Jacinta told him to keep his hopes up. (He told himself he would be okay if it never came, but he'd been dreading next summer - dreading the confirmation he was a freak, even among magicals.)

 Hot-cold fingers brushed away the tears he hadn't noticed were welling up. "You're going to be amazing," she murmured softly.

 "They're going to think I'm weird," he whispered back.

 "Pity them," Florine said seriously. "If they're so closed minded to care, they're not worth it anyway."

 He nodded, and dangit, he wasn't supposed to cry, this is a good thing, it's just-

 It's just-

 (Jacinta never said she was magical, but Harry will eat his own hand if Seeing isn't a magical gift. Florine has always been magical but people are scared of her, call her a monster, a killer, and they're not wrong. Harry was magical from the moment they met him, a screaming child who couldn't stop changing his face, his limbs, who made Jacinta taste blood the first time she held him.)

 (Hana and Clemencia never talk about that, never get odd, awed or disgusted looks just from using their magic.)

 It's just a lot.

 Florine kept brushing away his tears as they came faster, to the background noise of Jacinta putting away groceries.

 He's going to Hogwarts.

 He's going to Hogwarts!

 It feels surreal. 

***

 Aletris didn't trip on the bags at the door only due to his wonderful ability to walk blind. He stepped over and took in the scene in moments. Jacinta was putting away groceries, singing louder than usual. Florine was in the living room, for a given value of in, considering the amount of smoke bleeding off her into the air, wrapped around with Hawthorne.

 He left them to it, instead helping Jacinta. She didn't look at him for long, but she greeted him by bumping into him. He bumped back, and when her singing stuttered a few minutes later, started a new beat.

 She sang along.

***

 Clemencia grabbed for the nearest hand, looking in horror at the crowded interior of the Leaky Cauldron. How the heck did it manage to get more crowded than when booklists came?

 "Looks like we're aiming to be done before lunch," Aletris said, on the other side of Harry. Florine was after him, fingers curled into his sleeve, with Jacinta looped tightly at the elbow and keeping up a running commentary in Sign Language. Hana brought up the rear, wand in her teeth. She wasn't hanging on yet.

 Clemencia groaned.

 Hana shook her head. "Just- let's do this fast."

 Clemencia took off through the crowd to the back alley. The tavern was hidden with repelling charms, strong enough that Aletris always closed his eyes and let them guide him in to avoid a debilitating headache. Once inside, the entrance to the actual shopping district was down a dingy hallway, back outside to a group of rubbish bins and a blank brick wall. She wasn't sure why there were so many layers of concealment on the shopping district, but it did give her a chance to stop and look back at her littlest brother. "Ready for this, Haz?"

 Harry nodded at her.

 She slipped her wand out of the pocket she'd sewn into her sleeve, and reached up to tap the proper brick. Edge of the gray rubbish bin, five up, seven left, and a double tap.

***

 Harry gasped. It wasn't… it wasn't a new sight, not really, but somehow it felt like one.

 Maybe because this was the first time he was going as a student.

 Usually by now one of them had pushed forward, but it seemed everyone was waiting for Harry to lead the way. He didn’t move. The alley was bright and casually magical, with storefronts whose letters moved and displays that flickered with enchantments to mimic screens; the people were a hodgepodge of not-quite-Victorian dress and robes, with various headwear that Harry found himself cooing over and side-eyeing in turns.

 And yet, despite the familiar sight, despite the support at his back, he wasn’t moving. Someone slipped their hand back into his, squeezing. Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He squeezed Florine’s hand in return, and then glanced up at her. “Can we skip the threshold?”

 “Sure.”

 There was the uncomfortable feeling of his skin ripping apart, the rush of tripping into snow or a cold river, of standing too close to a fire, frostbite and freezer burn, and then he inhaled sharply as his lungs reformed. Florine had reformed them in the same positions, so Harry tugged her arm up so he could spin in and curl up; Aletris' swing dancing lessons had been passed on and reappropriated. She moved with him, pressing him to her side.

 "Come on," Jacinta said from behind, skittering her fingers up his shoulder blade. "Your friends are waiting."

 And, like he always had and always would, Harry believed her.

 He shifted so he wasn't leaning quite so much weight onto Florine's side, and as a unit, they stepped forward.

***

 "It wasn't this crowded last time," Harry said, looking at the lines inside the bank apprehensively. Jacinta had linked elbows with him as they climbed the stairs, and was now building a twelve string leaf pattern bookmark.

 "No, it wasn't," Clemencia agreed, eyeing the crowds both inside and out with distaste. “We usually come early so we avoid the letters crowd, I wonder what’s going on?”

 “I haven’t seen signs for any sales or book signings,” Hana said. “Maybe it’s a holiday?”

 “I don’t remember any holidays in July, but I guess it’s possible.”

 “Wasn’t there something about celebrating some famous kid’s birthday last year?” Aletris asked.

 Hana hummed. “That’s possible, if ridiculous.” She leaned forward and hugged Aletris, before opening one of the large doors for her family. Florine didn’t try to enter this time, just squeezed Harry’s hand before stepping back, fully solid. Aletris stayed out with her. Harry watched as the Goblin Guard’s dark eyes followed Florine until she was off their property, which began at the large marble steps.

 Jacinta led them to a line, still focusing on her bookmark.

 Harry leaned into her side and looked around. This wasn’t the first time he’d visited Gringotts Wizarding Bank (and every time he wondered at the name; the bank was run by Goblins, so why was it called the wizarding bank? Is there another branch for Centaurs and Werewolves? He’d been trying to find Gringotts Muggling Bank for three years and thus far had failed miserably) but Harry still found the architecture awe-inspiring. It felt like stepping into an ancient cathedral, the ones that featured in books on Renaissance art and stained glass history, if cathedrals were done out of brilliant white stone instead of deep wood.

 There were golden arches and inlays, patterned in such a way that Harry was sure they were some sort of hieroglyph, a tall domed ceiling, and no visible light fixtures. The desks lined the walls closest to the door, leaving the open floor for wizards to stand in twisty lines and walk around each other.

 Sadly, there weren’t any stained glass inlays. Harry didn’t know much about wizarding history, but he’s sure that anything important enough to become a stained glass window would be fascinating.

 Hana and Clem had moved on in conversation, talking about book lists and wondering if this year would be the year they’d get a decent Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Harry enjoyed people watching instead.

 Some of the wixen were polite to the Goblins, some were sneering, some looked annoyed, and then there were the ones that looked scared. Harry couldn’t blame them that much; Goblins had little, dark eyes like guinea pigs, shark sharp teeth, and leathery, komodo dragon skin; if komodo dragons came in brown and gold. All in all, they were intimidating when you first met them, but it hadn’t taken Harry long to realize they were pretty chill. Loved money, loved weapons, loved to see who could make more interesting threats (Harry had gotten a lot of points for ‘by the time I’m done you won’t have enough soul to reincarnate into a flobberworm’, which he was quite proud of. Even if he hadn’t known until then that souls were real, and could be affected by magic), didn’t like people, and didn’t like threats to their safety.

 Hence why Florine had a permanent ban, despite never even misting inside the building. Apparently they could recognize what she was, and didn’t want to risk that in their tunnels.

 And even then, they hadn’t been horrible, once they got past the whole ‘ax at her throat bit’. (The ax did not survive the encounter. Florine did.)

 Aletris called it Orange-Blue Morality. Florine said Black-White Morality was boring anyway.

 “But are you sure he’ll still be using Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them?” Hana said. “The upper years keep expecting him to die over the summer, we might not even get Kettleburn.”

 Textbook lists often didn't go out until August, or at the very least later in July, which led to a mob nearly as bad as Boxing Day sales caused. The Ravenclaws had teamed up to ensure they could go shopping whenever (not very many of them liked crowds, which Hawthorne could understand) by talking to upper years and the teachers. Except for Defense Against the Dark Arts, they had a margin of 89% success for getting the right books by passing down old booklists, and that was just because no DADA teacher seemed capable of staying more than a year.

 “That one’s on my list,” Harry said.

 His sisters turned to look at him, then shot each other questioning looks. “Really?” Clem said. “I wonder who’d be using it.”

 “Isn’t DADA supposed to cover creatures at some point?” Hana asked.

 “Oh thank goodness, we will have a good teacher this year.”

 Harry stifled his giggles, glancing at them in open adoration.

 Clemencia Doe was a thirteen year old witch, with white skin and Robin's-egg-blue tips dyed through her short black hair. Her eyes were also blue, although they were river-dark and could easily be mistaken for hazel. She was older of the 'twins', and had a tendency to force situations to work out in her favor, no matter how unusual or unlikely.

 Hana Griffiths was younger by four months and not afraid to start a fight. Her best friend outside of the Garden was a Hufflepuff, which explained a lot. She too was white, with dark brown hair she kept longer than her sister's, at mid-bicep. Currently it was loose, brushing her shoulder blades. Hana's eyes were also blue, but a much brighter, clearer shade.

 Jacinta, turning twenty-one in two months, was eight years older, with fathomless black eyes that would glow blue when Something Was Happening, brown skin, and darker brown hair, cut to her elbows. Playing with it was another of her coping methods, as was letting her siblings do the same.

 Then of course, there was Harry himself. He could whine about how there were no mirrors in Gringotts, but he didn’t need a mirror to know exactly what he looked like at any given point. Harry’s… abnormality was that he could shapeshift. He had a form for each of his siblings, whenever he wanted to feel biologically theirs, and he had his own face. Black hair that curled, pale skin, and bright green eyes. Long fingers, a flat nose, none of Aletris’ freckles or Jacinta’s moles. Although he’d dimmed his eyes today, from smooth greensnake to a muted swamp that made him look more like Clemencia.

 Clemencia and he still looked like biological siblings when he was himself, and sometimes he imagined they’d have been cousins had their parents not died.

 They were still debating whether or not it was worth it to go off last year’s third-year booklist when they reached a teller. Like most tellers at Gringotts, he was a Goblin. It was a Goblin run bank, so it made sense that Human employees were few and far between.

 "We have three for the Hogwarts vault," Hana said, looking up. Despite Goblins being short, they set up their desks tall enough they could look down on most, if not all wizards. The teller sneered down at her.

 "Keys?"

 They handed their key cards over together, and after a moment of silent inspection, were told everything was 'in order'. The teller called over another Goblin, ("Griphook!") and Jacinta unhooked her elbows and waved them off with a kiss each.

 "And you?" The Goblin asked.

 Harry didn’t hear Jacinta’s response, but having stayed with her the last two years he knew she had just silently offered up her own key.

 “Boneclaw! Take Ms. Rosier to her vault.”

 He pretended the tick in his jaw was because he was going into the tunnel system for the first time. Which, to be fair, he was a little nervous. Aletris had gladly stayed out with Florine after saying the carts put him off rollercoasters forever.

 On the other hand, Clemencia said it was the most fun of any Diagon trip.

 They ended up piling into a minecart, of all things, and setting off down a set of dark railroad tracks.

 It was terrifying, and fun. Harry was absolutely joining Clemencia's camp.

 Unlike the glowing marble in the main room, the tunnels were lit with lanterns that became orange blurs as the cart picked up speed, pointing downhill. Harry forced himself to look as well as he could, keeping track of their turns just because he could. Many of the turns were jerky, or fake-outs, which were terrifying, and he wasn’t sure if Hana would be able to hear when they finished.

 The tunnels, too, were rough-hewn and in some places it looked more like they were going through wide, dark caverns, full of stalagmites and stalactites and some things that looked like actual jewels. Did the goblins use these tunnels as a proper mine? Did they have canaries?

…was there a spell to use so they wouldn’t need a canary to ensure the mine was safe?

 Harry was still wondering about that when they reached the Hogwarts Vault. Harry had to lean on his sister because his legs were shaky, which was ridiculous because he hadn’t even used them!

 Bodies are weird.

 “How do you remember which is a stalactite versus a stalagmite?” He asked, watching Griphook stroke a finger down the side of the vault door frame.

 It was Hana who answered. “There’s a rhyme. I think it’s… the ones on the ceiling have to hold tight so they don’t touch the floor, and the ones on the ground might reach the ceiling?"

 “That sounds right,” Clemencia agreed. “I learned it as stalactites have a C for ceiling, and Stalagmites have a G for ground.”

 The door shuddered, and then melted away. That looked so cool. Harry wondered if they taught that to the other bankers, because he definitely wanted to learn.

 “Come on,” Clem said, leading the way. “I want to stay for dinner.”

 Harry frowned, but stood up and followed. Clemencia’s current foster family had a curfew, which was fine, and logical, except it was eight in the evening and meant Clemencia barely got to spend time with them.

 The vault was tidy, a room carved from stone with layers and layers of little bags hanging from hooks along the walls. They looked like red velvet, with little golden drawstrings. Hana grabbed one for both of them before dropping cross-legged on the floor to ‘key’ it.

 Harry fiddled with his, watching as she used her wand to make her finger bleed, before smearing it down the drawstring. The rope didn’t glow, as he half-expected it to; instead, Hana’s blood flashed spring green before vanishing.

 “Do you want help with yours?” Hana asked. Harry caught a flash of blue out of the corner of his eye and knew Clemencia had done the same thing.

 “What does it do?” He asked, even as he held out his hand for her to poke.

 “It’s a blood based enchantment, makes it so no one else can open it.”

 Harry paused. “Maybe I shouldn’t.”

 Hana opened her mouth, but something in his face made her think twice. She murmured a quick spell to heal both their fingers, and handed him hers. “Here, shift and see if you can get in.”

 Two years ago, Jacinta had taken a pre-med class and part of it was learning how to test blood types. Harry’s had changed based on how deeply he shifted into someone else - and, once he’d learned how to do it to just his blood, as he chose.

 He didn’t normally think too deeply about it, just accepted that it took more work to shift into a deep copy of Aletris than it did any of his sisters. He wasn’t sure why, considering it took more shifting of organs to truly copy any of them, but more often coloring was enough so it wasn’t like it bothered him.

 Harry closed his eyes, felt the change wash over him like a wave of warmth, settling into the feel of Hana Griffiths. Hana felt like sunburns, like standing in a windy meadow and knowing it won’t last. She smelled like vanilla flowers and heliotrope, the same thing Jacinta Saw but could never explain. He felt his hair lengthen and smooth, the weight falling differently. He felt his organs rearrange, his limbs grow. When he pulled, the bag opened halfway before stopping.

 He handed it back to her. Clem stopped beside them, looking down in concern. “Everything okay?”

 “I’m scared it’ll lock on me,” Harry admitted, falling into his ‘default’ skin in a rush of relaxing muscles and cracking bones. He didn’t like growing his limbs, it always left him awkward and uncoordinated,

 The vaguely painful heat on his skin faded, the damp smell of the cavern replacing immaterial winds and flowers.

 “Just do it as yourself,” Clem said warmly. “You’re you, Harry, no matter what your face looks like or your blood reads. And if it does mess with it, just use your own face.” Clemencia wasn’t a seer, but sometimes it seemed like the universe answered to her, instead of the other way around. Thus, he believed her.

 He grinned up at Clemencia, and closed his eyes, making sure he was himself, completely comfortable in his skin. It felt like flopping into bed, comfortable and safe, warm and unequivocally his.

 Hawthorne Doe was a ten year old with glowing eyes and skin that didn’t break, he could talk to snakes and steal faces like a fae left behind. He was young and hopeful and loved with his whole soul, he had nightmares that felt more like memories and he was raised by traumatized pre-teens. He was an orphan and despite that fact had a family he would fight for. His magic smelled like lightning and cold metal, felt like granite and silk.

 When he opened his eyes, they were glowing bright enough he could see light reflected on the backs of his hands.

 He reached out, let Hana cut his finger and keyed himself into the bag before shifting his skin back over the cut, healing it prematurely. Clemencia helped them both up, before leading them out and to the minecart.

 The ride back up was just as fast, even without gravity adding momentum. Harry hid his face in Hana’s back because the air was cold, and he wanted to.

 They quite literally stumbled back into the light, not taking nearly enough time to readjust their eyes, and ducked outside to wait on the steps for Jacinta. The sunlight on the marble hurt, especially since they’d just been underground instead of in the equally-bright lobby.

 Jacinta was already outside, sitting a few stairs below the Goblin guards and drawing, singing under her breath. Harry flopped down beside her, leaned into her side as he absently shifted. His second favorite form was the one that looked like her biological brother, with brown skin and shorter, fluffier hair, although he never tried to match her eyes. His own were plenty unusual, thank you.

 “Just a second,” she hummed, leaning back into him. “Where to first?”

 Clemencia grimaced, looking out at the crowds that had not lightened in the slightest. Harry had never seen the alley this crowded. “It looks like there’s less people around the offshoots, maybe it’d be best to duck to Knockturn first.”

 “You just want your books,” Hana accused lightheartedly.

 Her sister stuck her tongue out, leaning heavily on her. “Or maybe I want to convert Harry to the side of antique books.”

 “I’d read them if I weren’t afraid of them falling apart in my hands!”

  “Sure.”

 “What’s on your list, Hawthorne?” Jacinta asked softly. Harry pulled it out of his bag, and spread it on his knee.

 The supply list was separated into three easy sections; Uniform, Books, and Other Supplies.

 “Three ‘plain work robes’ in black, a black hat, probably the cliche one some of them-” he gestured to the throng below, “-are wearing. Protective gloves?”

 “For herbology,” Clemencia said. “Lots of magical plants are worse than poison ivy and stinging nettles. And that’s without touching anything with thorns or teeth.”

 Harry stared. “The plants have teeth?”  

 “Sometimes.”

 How had he not heard of this yet? Were they going to get a biting plant for the apartment? …actually, that didn’t sound like such a terrible idea.

 “Anything else?” Jacinta asked distractedly. She was hunched over her drawing, adding more details to someone’s hair.

 “A winter cloak. And nametags, but I’m not sure if those’ll be here.”

 She hummed.

 “Then there’s books, a wand, a pewter cauldron, glass phials, an 'astronomy starter's set', brass scales, and a pet. Cat, toad, or owl.”

 “You can probably sneak Celosia in,” Clemencia said. “One of my yearmates said he was gonna get a tarantula this year, and I know an upper year with a pet rat, plus the four prefects with ferrets. I’m sure nobody will care so long as he behaves himself.”

 “Celosia always behaves himself,” Harry said, mock-indignantly. “Do we need our own Potions ingredients?”

 “If you want to practice outside of class, yes, but wait till we get there. If you decide extra practice is good we’ll hook you up with the smugglers,” Hana said.

 “They’re almost here,” Jacinta said.

 “It might be worth getting your wand first,” Clemencia offered, leaning bracingly on his shoulder. “That’s- that’s a pretty great feeling.”

 Harry’s answer was cut off by a familiar voice shouting. “Harry! Heliotrope! Salvia! Cornflower!”

 “Over here!” Clem called back, jumping up to wave like a maniac.

 Harry didn’t look up, but he wondered if Florine had dissolved. She could carry most of them when she discorporated to travel, but Aletris always had bad reactions. She’d have to either leave him behind or run loops, if she did.

 Jacinta was drawing what looked like a framed photograph, one of the ones with an ornate, oddly shaped frame. It almost looked like a Victorian standing mirror, with the sheen over some of the faces and the curls and spires at the top.

 He finally looked up when Hana yelled too.

 “Tansy!”

 Florine did flicker then, just dust for the last few steps. “Ready to go?”

 Harry smiled widely up at her, ignoring that they hadn’t actually picked a destination. “Absolutely! Where are we going?”

 She and Aletris shared a look that screamed conspirator, and she offered him her hand, palm up. Celosia, curled around her wrist, looked up and scented him. “Want to go and see the magic snakes?”

 The answer was, obviously, absolutely.

[haejjoon]

Hi I’ve been really enjoying your art and ex machina and I’ve been reading through the asks and I wanted to share my thoughts on something that’s been coming up.

Ok I love Makoto- she is my bae, i romanced her on my first play through and I still love her. That being said… I HATE that she still plans to be a cop. And I do think she’s smart but you’re right that it’s mostly booksmarts and she is rather impulsive at times, but I think that’s ok. They should probably try to stop shoving the idea that she’s smart down our throats tho, but I have to say I find it very relatable as one of the “smart” kids in my high school friend group. When you get told you’re smart like that, your whole identity depends on it. And I think they could’ve explored that a lot more rather than shifting the focus to Eiko. And the fact that Sae’s palace didn’t have a cognitive Makoto or anything feels like such a letdown (tho I love that palace).

Btw she did figure out the phantom thieves enough to know to follow us around but just didn’t blackmail us until she had proof so there’s that.

But yes makoharu! And in an ideal world, I think she’d be a great teacher like Kawakami once kawakami stops being a maid.

To reiterate I’m really enjoying your content and I do agree with a lot of the points about Makoto I just love her anyway lol

hi rose!! thanks for liking my content it really does mean the world to me aaa ❤️❤️

i agree with ur points about makoto being stereotyped as the smart one. i'd also been branded as one of Those Kids growing up, and like makoto, it was really hard breaking out of that mold and creating an identity for myself that wasn't just about grades or studying. heck, that's probably the biggest reason as to why she's so popular in the first place: she's relatable, and realistic in her struggles. i absolutely adore that aspect of her, and plan to expand on it a Lot More in ex machina.

that being said ... again, she had so much potential, and ended up falling flat because they couldn't decide on what they wanted her character to be. i'd say she suffers from burnt out gifted kid syndrome, but she doesn't even quite fit the bill—she's still a gifted kid, through and through, and remains having excellent grades even with juggling thieves work and other things. it almost makes me wish she did suffer from it once she awakened to her persona—she realizes that she doesn't find the point of studying and grades, and loses her only reliable pillar of identity with that realization. it would've made for such a lovely character arc.

(she did figure out the phantom thieves to stalk protag but to be fair, they did make it... very easy. i mean. who else wouldve fit the bill other than the three misfits who had PERSONAL ISSUES with their first target LMAO)

i agree that she wouldve made an excellent teacher!!!! i'd totally see her as a uni professor, teaching law or philosophy to the bright eyed youngins of the next generation...

im glad you like her so much, genuinely :] she's not a bad character by any means, just an unfortunate one. crossing fingers that atlus will do a better job with tying up loose set ups in their future games <3

[euos-the-cat]

when your phone works again you should give us those Noodle headcanons mayhaps 🤞😖

It'll be ages before that happens, so I'll share them now.

Noodle has at least one tattoo in Japanese that means something stupid or mundane (*cough cough* the "arm" tattoo), but she says it means something entirely different to mess with people. She knows what it means, anyone who speaks Japanese knows what it means, but she doesn't run into people who do too often.

She likes to troll weirdos online, really waste the time of dudes who ask her for inappropriate pics.

She kinda has gifted child syndrome even despite her success. She feels like she could do more, but has no idea what.

Even as a kid she had trouble letting herself cry, trying to act tough even if she didn't understand why.

She'll occasionally hear what sounds like gibberish to the other band members and start snickering because it sounds like a dirty word in another language.

When she was a teenager the guys weren't the best at explaining certain things to her. Imagine the absolute chaos it was when she got "The Talk". Just.. imagine that. Russel having to keep Murdoc from saying anything too inappropriate (and failing. It's not like she hadn't seen worse from him anyways).

She found out she liked girls from a magazine Murdoc had left out somewhere (probably shouldn't touch that).

She's totally ganked some of 2D's old clothes. She wears Russel's shirts from time to time too as PJs.

Being a former child soldier, I doubt she would known much about Japanese culture until she visited Japan again. She likes catching up on all the stuff she missed out on back then.

She helped 2D improve his Japanese comprehension by introducing him to Japanese horror movies.

Murdoc is not allowed long black wigs and white dresses because 2D was introduced to Japanese horror movies.

[night-dark-woods]

YESSS another person out there who reads Mara Sov as autistic!

YES YES YES hope its ok i answer this publically if not not ill delete it as an ask and just post it BUT she is sooooo very much autistic to me like. i love her sooooo much and thats a huge huge part of it ESPECIALLY bc she gets to be SO delightfully complex and morally gray and a deeply sympathetic character who still is a bit of a horrible person sometimes which just ISNT something we GET a lot as autistic ppl like. augh!!! mara sov was constructed in a lab for me to care about.

anyway im not citing stuff bc im on mobile and copypasting to the tumblr app is Hell but i have fully read the marasenna like 4 times in the last 2 months so this is going to be rambly as all hell but:

-talk about fucking black and white morality. going back to earth is the Right Thing To Do and she will absolutely condemn* her entire colony ship to mortality for that.

-her conviction that she knows secrets and things no one else knows, that she is always in control in a way others arent, and her Need for that to be true, and her sense of herself as separate/better/other/above the rest and having a connection to a deeper knowledge. i feel like theory of mind gets tossed around as a dsm checkbox without people like. fully understanding the nuances of it.

-relatedly her... mercenary? approach to the social interactions and relationships she has (and her utter panic and confusion when she cannot use her models that she has, eg sjur). like she may not be able to Feel what other people feel but she can certainly pattern-match and manipulate.

-her absolutely oversized eldest daughter & gifted kid syndrome taken to absolutely absurd extremes (thanks osana and alis li!) bc of what authority figures told her to be true about herself at 19. (one of the times she had to dramatically readjust her model of How Social Interactions Work- the concept that how she is perceived is Her Responsibility which she immediately internalizes as Law). ALSO osana saying that mara never wanted to be her daughter like. ok we get it ur kid is strange and acts "older than her age" and is more self-possessed than a child her age should be except when shes not.

-god just. honestly everything about how shes written. idr if u have read seth dickinson's published books (the traitor baru cormorant) but baru from those books is SO SO SO similar like. ruthless in that the ends justify absolutely any means, self-centered, brilliant with a massive blindspot where it comes to emotions, manipulative bc she relies on a carefully constructed understanding of how social interactions work, most importantly disastrously world-shatteringly gay.

also i feel like part of it is that a lot of the traits and things that make me read mara as autistic are like... internal experience traits that arent easily recognizable by allistic ppl bc they dont Have a recognizably autistic-specific external manifestation and instead come off as like. being a bitch or selfish or stuck up or cold or Whatever. but are like immediately viscerally recognizable if u experience things the same way.

maybe at some point ill make an Actual Post abt mara sov, the travelers most autistic creature. but so much of it is Unexplainable Vibes. if u kno u kno. also thank u for sending this ask and giving me a chance to talk abt mara i love her SO much.

*i dont believe immortality is inherently good, so i dont think it was condemning is like, the right word, but in context of how characters see it.

[ly-von-karma]

Hey, Ly! I saw that you were having a bad day, and I'm really sorry to hear that. If you want to vent, my DMs are open. And if you're still looking for asks, could you tell me more about the von Karma patriarch? You seem to be fighting very ardently against people who portray him as an abusive asshole. I know nothing of AA, so could you please tell me all about him? And maybe how you came to cultivate your view of him?

💙💛💜

Hiya Mia! Please don't mind the fact that I'm answering this like, several months later vthbjkg.

Yeah, I'm just like, a little icked (to say the least) about the takes on Manfred von Karma. He isn't the most innocent person out there but he won't just beat the fuck out of you because you used the wrong fork.

He is something something complicated and complex character I still can't fully understand. I see a lot of people have their own different opinions/interpretations of him and I'm kinda in a mixed bag ngl.

I'm not sure how to describe my own "version" (even if I can call it that) like, people make him out to be like a run-of-the-mill villain. Personality wise, he just reminds me of my grandfather and this is the version I'm sticking with.

What do I mean with that? I'll try to explain it.

My grandfather had a routine, he got up early in the morning at 5AM on the dot, dropped off the kids on his way to work and came back around 9PM. While he may not have been an perfection-obsessed freak, he was a little weird- he was obsessed with time and neatness. AKA suffered from being Asian.

Everything had to be on time. Did you have a job interview and they told you to be at 8AM? You had to be there (at least) 15 minutes in advance, just in case something bad happened- like traffic. So instead of waking up like you usually do at 6:45, you'd wake up at 6:00- as an extra precaution.

From the times I saw him in his study (and from the times I sneaked inside), I could tell you that everything in his desk (a desk that was so big they had to get it in through the window) had an assigned space. He kept his accounting books by this one place, his notes in this other place, right by the books but there was enough space to fit his pens.

He wasn't the most expressive person ever. It was rare to see him smile- he was stoic most of the time. Like there are photographs were he does smile and even laughs but eh. There were few things that he liked, his dogs, reading the newspaper and betting on horses.

He was neutral with mostly everyone, he wasn't too sentimental or outwardly showed how he felt. Except with grandma, I only know because of what she told me. He was dad™ whenever his children excelled academically, the way he could show that he loved them was through gifts. He was a little eh, even with his siblings.

Side-note here but I think the Japanese are one of the most cold/void people I've met, based on past experiences. I'm not being racist. Source? My entirely family.

People had many different opinions, that he was a caring man, that he would've spoiled his grandchildren rotten, that he was strict yet good man... a mixed bag ngl.

So yes anyway, tis my take on Manfred von Karma. A weird little freak who happens to be suffering from being Asian™ syndrome. Constantly living in denial that he's white.

[somesadguysdiary]

10:55 PM GMT, Sunday 24th March 2024

I realise I completely forgot about this for most of the month, but eh, I warned that I would.

Anyway, I'm only posting because I feel like I've just had an epiphany.

One of my new friends (not mentioned in the freinds post) recently put me onto a web comic and after reading episode 103-104 I realised something. I realised where a lot of my feelings of inadequacy come from.

Growing up, a lot of the things I liked to do or wanted to be good at were restricted or discouraged. Playing video games? Limited to 2 hours a day and I barely get that. Singing? Too girly, not allowed to continue. Sports? I was too fat so I wasn't allowed to play with the other kids. Music? Too loud when I practice so I have to stop. Baking? I'm banned from cooking in the kitchen because "I leave it in a big mess". Drawing? Not as important as studying. Being good at doing others' makeup? Also way too girly. Chess? My step granddad was better than me so I was discouraged. Acting? Deemed a waste of time.

Anything I took interest in, I wasn't able to fully develop or do at all, so I ended up with a barely surface level understanding of lots of things. Meanwhile, all of my friends were able to fully explore what they wanted and developed their skills as a result. All of my music freinds? Better than me. All of my theatre friends? Better than me, etc, etc.

Die to not being able to develop any skills in things I liked, I ended up being surrounded by people who were better than me at anything i tried, and it felt bad. It still feels horrible. Couple that with academic gifted kid syndrome and not having many friends, if any at all, you get a big ball of unresolved inner turmoil, self doubt, shame and self hatred. I hate that I can't do as much as anyone around me. I hate that whenever I say I can do something, there's always a freind that can do it better and then I look like I was arrogant by saying I was good at that thing. I don't hate my freinds, I hate me.

So now I'm stuck with the feeling that I can't do anything right, so I don't try anymore. I just give up as soon as there's any difficulty because that means I can't do it.

And whenever people try and console me about it I refuse that they're correct. I've heard it all before and it hasn't worked. Not because the advice doesn't work but because I won't let it. I push people away when they offer me help and then when I tell them to leave, they leave, when I really did want help, I really did want to be better. But I keep being too stupid and pigheaded that I don't let them, and then they get annoyed and leave. Because of me.

I mean hell, the only reason I started this blog is because I don't have anyone to voice these concerns to and if I do, I don't want to bother them or bring down their mood. I made this whole post about needing or wanting help and I can't even ask for it.

God I'm useless.

Or not...

Actually yeah, that's a good point.

I can just use this blog to help with that issue.

I can use this to congratulate myself or whatever whenever I do something good, like asking for help or stopping being so useless. This way I can work on that and push less people away.

I just need to clear my mind, and look at this from another perspective. I need to stop blaming other people and I need to stop making excuses for myself.

If I work on it bit by bit, then maybe I can come out of this on the other side as someone who is actually happy with who they are!

Idk where to start though.

I guess I could start by hanging out with my freinds more? Or maybe I can tell them about the things I thought about in this post? I could even try out getting better at something gradually, like baking, though it is expensive... I mean I could try practicing the drums- or both!

I would have to do this behind my step dad's back though, considering he's the one that banned me from using the kitchen.😑

Anyway, this post turned out to be more therapeutic than anything, thank you for reading my self hating, weirdly self-insuring post! And if no one but me reads this, at least I voiced these feelings rather than containing them- HOLY SHIT THAT'S WHERE I'LL START.

I CAN START BY USING THIS TO VOICE OPINIONS AND FEELINGS SO IM USED TO EXPRESSING THEM.

Anyways, BYYYEEEE.

-Some Sad Guy (SSG)

11:20 PM GMT, Sunday 24th March 2024

[deadfag2u]

I thought about sleeping habits today because I was asked a question yesterday how do I sleep at night? I had very complicated profound answers for you about that a few months ago because I had this horrible revelation of oh my fuck there are a couple of people who are not dead, I don’t know man but that’s like we could have Cinderella you know like no I mean I’m sorry like I’m being super objective and that’s probably really annoying, but well partially because you have a wife and you probably love your wife deep down regardless of what men say

I’m so sorry like I’m a little bit in some of your space without meaning to be in usually it’s not invasive or bad but I’m a little bit concerned did they hire those people to make a reenactment so that I understood

How do I sleep so well? Well how did they sleep so well let me ask you something no it wasn’t one of the dumb ones either it was like Jimmie and Karen thought that they were crossing that line but all of a sudden I felt a different energy.

So things got a little dicey and actually I’m pretty sure that I need to buy a couple of knives. Oh, you know what you guys are going to say that I’m crazy and I’m not a stupid person with Stockholm syndrome.

People have been hurting certain people for so long

Any Kentucky senator, who actually can put up with this you should probably never sleep well at night

And anyways, I truly do believe that there are a handful who are very very disgusted at Monica Kinslow, and those like her

Yeah baby we know that you try to keep it real down low when you’re watching Rebecca Cooper and talking about her but honey they are going to kill you if you even lay one finger on me baby

OK so I don’t do the little Swiss knife. It’s there’s no offence to what you guys do. I know some of you are crafty and you can unlock cars like nobody’s business and all that jazz that’s not me.

But I do have a talent with knives don’t ask

Well, the doctor said I will need something a little bit sharper. It was no offence to anyone and we had a couple of women who definitely are going to be needing some guidance because we’re not following men that’s not what we do, and when I wrote all of that awesome stuff when I was a kid I didn’t write that for Hispanic or Latino women or black women so they could steal that from me to impress a white man who will later have you killed

You guys are trying to play a little baby, Mc chicken, joker games Latina

I am very sad. I am about to be evicted by a Hispanic piece of garbage.

Baby, you can’t really give me any lip honey AJ and Stephanie and Luke all of those actually found out about that Ebony was like holy fucking shit I was like Anna please please please like can you take the unit I mean like take the Camera off of freaking the fuck out they don’t look at that oh my God but really it’s cool it’s no it’s a gift. It’s well when you’ve been through all this like you guys probably know that there’s like people in government right now who have the hooks in some of us.

.

Yeah, but that sure as fuck is not Karen or Monica, and it never will be

[vmpbyss]

oh my god, it’s only the third week of school and i am absolutely drained, so i’m going to rant a bit …

i honestly don’t think it’s fully registered in my mind that i’m in hs now, or that the school year has even started, for that matter. i had an exam and two quizzes today, (i absolutely bombed the science quiz btw) along with some assignments here and there. in all honestly, i feel very a little overwhelmed? but? nothing has registered fully in my brain? if that makes sense? like, i KNOW for sure that school has started and that i have to wake up at 5am, (that part’s very, very real) but i don’t know … something just isn’t clicking, i guess?

i’ve always had a problem with and struggle with motivation and procrastination and such, but i feel that it’s sooooo strong right now, and i’m kind of beating myself up over it. i joke about my motivation — or lack thereof — and my absolutely horrid procrastination habits, and that i want to work on my flaws and ultimately fix them, but i feel that it — unfortunately — has become somewhat of an integral part of me that just refuses to let go? it feels like a huge weight on my mind and lump in my throat that refuses to go away. overall, i’m content with myself, but i just? don’t feel super hot about school.

like, i’m decently smart! definitely not a genius or prodigy, but i pick up concepts pretty quickly and such. i’m not an idiot, but why do i feel like i’m behind in work ethic? i remember always being told by teachers, or have had teachers in the past say that i’m a “smart girl,” and that “it’s a shame that i don’t apply myself more,” or “if only i applied myself more,” but i just don’t know how, to be honest. i have no idea what applying myself more means, nonetheless how to do it. i know someone is going to argue that it’s the gifted-kid-burnout-syndrome, and while i agree that it may be a major contributor to my problem, i just don’t want to say that’s the only thing? i feel like i’m just using it as an excuse, y’know? it feels like i’m just making an excuse for myself to make some unnecessary breathing room/leeway i don’t need. i see that this is kind of a toxic mentality to have, but i don’t know what to do about these thoughts and feelings …

i’m good at taking tests, and i usually get assignments done most the time, albeit at the last minute, so i feel like me bombing my bio quiz that covers a topic i have learned multiple times over multiple years that is so, so incredibly simple to understand is kind of shocking to me. i got 18/30 points. it was a 15 question quiz. i joked a little about it, but honestly? i’m disappointed in myself, so much. i’m also just not satisfied with my work quality too. in moment, i think it’s fine, but going back over it at a later date? oh my gosh. it has my style of work written all over it, but the quality feels … almost unnatural, somehow.

anyways, i’ll leave it here, so as to not get depressed over it, because i only “recently” fixed my mentality/mental health/mindset so! yeah

[nightwishesworld]

Oh, I have a request! How about the daughters (who love the reader very much) always taking the reader and practically stealing her every time she’s with Alcina? (Cuz we need more daughters and reader interaction 🥲) And maybe to the point of our precious big dommy mommy gettin ya know ya know jealous? ;)) HAHGSHAHAHAHA, that would be hilarious to see. Anyways, hope you’re havin’ a great time~ ✌🏻till next time!

I’m so sorry this took me so long anon! I’ve gotten more requests than I ever thought I would and I’m starting to get behind. This was a really sweet one to put together though- really enjoyed it!

Slight Gore warning for Cassandra! Nothing too detailed but it is referenced. If you don’t like it just skip her

Bela

Being the eldest sibling has made her the most level-headed of the three. After decades of ending squabbles between her younger sisters, she’s discovered the pleasures of retail therapy. 

She takes great joy in popping off to neighboring villages for a few hours perusing the various aromatherapy shops.

And she takes even greater pleasure bringing you along. Dragging you, really. Even if you’re otherwise busy. Sometimes she’ll buy you a few scents or lotions that catch your eye.

She calls it “compensation for being dragged away from Mother,” but really she’s just happy to spoil you

Also loves asking you for literature recommendations. As vast as the castle’s library is, Bela had read through most of the literature over her lifetime

Is absolutely fascinated by modern day novels. 

She takes you on a day-long shopping spree visiting five surrounding villages just blowing through money buying almost every book that peaks her interest

Most of your time together is spent relaxing in the library talking about your novels. 

Eventually you’ve collected enough books to make an entirely new section in the library just for the two of you.

Even when cuddled up with Alcina in the library, there is simply no escaping Bela when she’s looking for recommendations or simply someone to talk to

At the end of the day, you really didn’t mind. You were more than happy to spend time with all the girls and happy they wanted to spend time with you. 

You knew as annoyed as Alcina got when interrupted she found it incredibly sweet that her daughters will go out of their way to be with you

Cassandra (Cassi)

Suffers from middle child syndrome hardcore

She’s a bit too old to understand Bela’s interests, but too old to join Daniela in her delusional fantasies. So naturally, she tries to cling onto you.

At first she tries to convince you to enter the basement with her so she can show you her “Art Gallery,” but Alcina forbade it. So things between you and Cassi went quiet for awhile

Alcina says Cassandra is an artist of some sort and all her work is done in the basement

After about a month of silence Cassandra came barrelling into your private study with some kind of canvas in her hands

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around much, y/n, but I’ve been working really hard on your gift.”

You gush, “oh Cassi, you didn’t have to make me anything. That’s so sweet of you.”

She eagerly flips over the canvas to reveal her painting of a human heart.

It was beautifully detailed, the heart really jumped off the page against the black background...but something was off about it. It took a minute for you to realize it but once you did, you couldn’t stop staring. The heart was painted with blood.

You were lost for words. 

“Well?” Cassi, asked with a broad smile on her face. “Do you like it?”

All you could do at first was nod you head. “Oh Cassandra, its gorgeous. You really made this?”

The girl’s eyes were rapturous. “It’s my favorite hobby! But this particular piece was my first try at observational painting. I hope I did a good job...”

“Are you kidding Cassi? It’s beautiful! I’ve never seen anything like it. Can I hang it on my wall?”

She lunges at you, wrapping you in a suffocating hug. “Thank you, y/n. I made it a heart so you know how much we love having you here with us.”

Tears were starting to prick your eyes. “I love you guys, too.”

You looked up lust long enough to see Alcina walk in your study, roll her eyes and walk right back out.

Daniela (Dani)

Being the youngest Dimitrescu definitely has its advantages and Daniela knows how to use every single one.

Gets away with absolutely everything and anything under the sun. Even things her older sisters could only dream of getting away with and it irritates them to no end.

Daniela is definitely the most daring of the three. Always pushing her boundaries with her mother and will go out of her way to annoy Alcina just for funsies.

Is comfortable (and has) appearing in your bedroom while your, erm...busy with Alcina. Literally grabs you by the arm and swoops you away in a swarm of moths giggling the entire time. You hear Alcina shouting obscenities as you’re taken away.

You’re both thoroughly embarrassed.

Daniela seems to be, just like her mother, very needy. Attention starved if you will. So of course, she’s in need of your presence every hour. Sometimes more. 

And for the dumbest freaking reasons!

“Y/n come quick! Look at the birds in the garden. They’re so pretty!”

You laugh at her excitement “They’re crows, Dani. We see them every day.”

Other times she will drag you to her room and pull out her vast collection of weapons and tell you different stories associated with each one. You loved hearing how passionate Daniela was about her collection.

On a few rare occasions, she even gifted you a set of daggers, or crossbow, or whatever your favorite weapon is.

“You don’t own any y/n, which means you’re vulnerable to attacks. One day I’ll teach you how to use them.”

BONUS: Alcina being absolutely done with her girls not sharing

Late hours of the night are Alcina’s favorite time of day

She gets to relax in bed with you all to herself while shedding away all the stresses from the day. 

More often than not she’ll lazily sip a glass of wine and reread her favorite novel to you while you’re nestled in her lap.

It was the only time of day she knew she had you all to herself

...usually...

One night all three of her daughters barged in your bedroom arguing who you would spend time with first. Alcina tried shouting over them to take control of the situation, but none of them were even paying her attention.

Situations like this call for drastic measures.

Alcina covered your ears and shouted at her girls from the top of her lungs. Once she knew she had their attention she reached over to the nightstand and pulled out a...spray bottle? They were about to laugh at her before she explained that the spray bottle contained holy water.

That scared them enough to make them back up a few steps. Daniela even hisssed at her, baring her fangs like a feral animal.

“I am tired of you three stealing away my y/n and I’ve reached my breaking point. This is the one time of day I’m allowed exclusive time with them and I will not have you getting in the way of that.”

You couldn’t process what was happening before you. Was Alcina really prepared to spray her own daughters with holy water just because she wouldn’t get her cuddles tonight? Really?

Daniela felt bold tonight. “As if you would actually do it. I bet that’s not even holy water.”

Alcina only arched a brow. “Well you’re more than welcome to come see for yourself, Daniela. By all means.”

The redhead was about to do just that until Bela pulled her backwards. “I guess we can wait and see y/n tomorrow. Goodnight, mother. Goodnight, y/n.”

As soon as Alcina knew they were gone she fell back onto the mattress, pulling you with her, peppering you in kisses. 

“Darling,” you ask. “Is that really holy water?”

She chuckles into your neck. “No, it’s not, and they should have known that. If it were I wouldn’t have been able to hold it without it making me feel ill. But they’ll figure that out eventually and once they do they’ll be back.”

“What then?”

“Pelting them with fake silver should do the trick.”

[aristeiakira]

hi hi! if requests are indeed still available and i haven’t totally messed up time zones, could i please get a classic obey me matchup??

i never know what to say when people ask for my interests shsksh but i love writing, baking, and listening to music. i pretty much listen to music 24/7 and i’ll use any excuse to make a playlist (i’ve got about 200 at this point). oh, and i love board games. as for my personality, im definitely a severely anxious person but i’m also incredibly stubborn and sarcastic. pretty closed off at first, but very ‘ride or die’ once we’re close. some might say im mean or abrasive, but im just not very verbally affectionate ig. my love language is quality time, so i love spending time with my friends in whatever way possible. also always willing to shower them in gifts to make up for my lack of verbal affection, so i absolutely do love my friends. just, deep-er down?

which means my view on love is complicated. in the past, some friends have all but told me i was unlovable in a romantic sense. so im skeptical about it, but still optimistic? there’s something out there for everyone. but in a more general sense, i kind of feel like love is in everything we do. love is more than just romantic, it’s platonic, familial, etc. the littlest acts come from love. so, in a way, love kind of makes the world go round? rly weird to say, but true.

sorry if this was a lot, clearly i also ramble shsksh but thank you SO much in advance

A Classic Matchup ♡

- You received The Avatar of Lust, Asmodeus!

- You’re sweet, he’s sweet, therefore I conclude you are the best match. No, really—I believe you would be great together.

- This man right here is up to eat what you will make or if you like maybe even bake with you. Although he’s not that good at it but he’ll try, I just don’t know whether it will be a success or disaster, anyways- it’s the thought that counts right?

- Similar to you, Asmo likes listening to music. He has a particular taste when it comes to song, still, he would appreciate any recommendation you have. I think he could be swayed into listening to what you like because he is going to replay any playlist you would make for him.

- He would definitely acquire the last song syndrome. You would just hear him humming at the most random of times, probably a song which you mentioned to be your favorite. Yes, he could be lovesick like that. You have just gotten yourself someone to share your playlist with!

- I think you have really different interests, it doesn’t hinder you both to bond though. I can see you playing board games one night then doing skincare the next hour. Maybe a spa day for a date or exploring new board games to play, whatever you choose to do, smiles would never fade from your lips.

- If you are severely anxious—worry not—you have this confident demon by your side after all. He has this comforting aura that will persuade you to succumb in serenity, his melodious voice will hush away all your fears, and he would do everything he can to make you feel assured. I believe his presence is one that could also symbolize solace.

- In the case where you’re stubborn and sarcastic side is shown, Asmo’s ready to back you up. He’ll second to whatever you may say, just proud how his significant other is feisty, very hot of you he’ll kid (or mean it sometimes).

- Can you be any more similar? At the start, Asmodeus was also quite wary of you, but when you do earn his trust he’ll cling to you all the time—in other words—your partner for the ride or die.

- In the aspect of affection or love languages, you shouldn’t have to worry because out of all the brothers, he understands the topic the most.

- You really balance out each other. You are not one to speak of your love but he is. If you’re alright with it, Asmo’s really going to shout his love for you, literally. If you’re not comfortable with it, expect the whispers of his affection.

- Here’s a scenario I’ve imagined:

- There was nothing different that day, except for the realization that dawned Asmodeus as you converse with his brothers. He wanted to just blurt out his thoughts yet he stopped himself because he didn’t want things to be uncomfortable for you. And so he opted to prop his chin onto your shoulder, smiling subtly to convince others there was nothing. In truth, he spoke in a hushed voice that only you would be able to hear- “I love you.”

- Back to your love language, Asmo adores it very much, it is a win for him no? This is where your interests are shared, any thing that he can do with you, he’ll do. Knowing that you’ll say yes to spending time with him, he asks before any of his brothers could. Window shopping? Choosing your outfits in the morning? Asmo’s gathering? Again, he loves your love language. When you make time for him, he feels all the love he needs and more.

- Did you say gifts? How can you be any perfect? He asks. He is going to treasure them, and when I say treasure, I meant he would keep your gifts as an entire collection in a special place of his wardrobe. He would also buy anything he deems worthy of being given to you because he’ll never let you to be the only one giving gifts! Surprise gifts just to tease each other may also frequently occur (I hope I had half the money you guys spend, T_T).

- Lastly, love does makes the world go round, and Asmodeus agrees. He thinks you perfectly defined it as it reflects who you are, the sweet human who have proven him about how the little acts people do come from love. He’ll cherish you till the end of his time.

[bookwyrminspiration]

ITS MOSSY AGAIN

I’m in a depressive episode rn so I decided to project onto Kotlc characters but I like to make people think about side characters so I’m gonna project onto the bodyguards

(Tw?? Ig??)

Okay wait

Let’s say Sandor has anxiety and ptsd. Like how could he not?? He has had to kill people and has been trained from a young age. He has really bad anxiety and because the lost cities doesn’t pay attention to mental health he can’t get medicated

Ro struggles with body image. Ya sure she acts all tough but she is insanely insecure.

Grizel?? Um. Idk. WAIT OCD?? Grizel has ocd. She cannot deal with certain textures. Her clothes have to be a certain texture or else she has a panic attack. She hates certain kinds of food.

Bo? Ew we don’t like Bo. Ill let you choose bo because I can’t think of anything.

Anyways ya have a nice day

-Mossy (Kotlc-anon)

Mossy! Welcome back! It's been a little bit since you sent this ask so I hope the depressive episode has gotten better, as it always sucks to be stuck in them just...waiting for it to go away, you know? But even though mental illness sucks, we can always project onto characters!!

(also, I appreciate the thought behind the trigger warning, but it isn't very effective if you don't tell me what the tw is for. you just say tw and that could mean anything from talking about mental health to graphic depictions of violence and all I know is that there's something to be aware of, but I have no idea what or its severity. so if you use one in the future please tell me what the warning is for!)

Oo Sandor...I've often wondered how the goblin and ogres methods of training their soldiers so young actually affects them. Because it seems like their entire career paths have been decided for them before they were old enough to make the decision to join the military and be a soldier, so they've been doing this their entire lives. Focusing specifically on Sandor, he wouldn't have had a childhood, instead constantly competitive and working to prove himself--I mean, he became a general and I doubt that's easy. We don't know a lot about their military, but there had to have been so much pressure on him as a child (and now) that he can't shake. And now he's been in wars and battles, so PTSD is very possible. We don't know how the goblins deal with that, but it would make sense for him to have it, maybe worsened by him constantly going back to protecting Sophie and being on guard and fighting without processing the past.

Maybe Sandor's got gifted kid syndrome, seeing as he rose through the ranks and is now stuck trying to perform at an acceptable level yet it's becoming more and more difficult yet he can't take a break. Burning himself out and it just worsens the anxiety because he's convinced himself that by being good at his job the anxiety will go away (nervous about being bad at your job? just be good at it) but it's just a never ending cycle of torment.

Ro's is an interesting one! Body image...she does seem to alter her body in ways that many other ogres don't--dyed hair, tattoos for fun, painting her nails, etc--which could be her trying to change her appearance because she doesn't like it. I've mentioned in the past that her loud attitude and the way she takes up space and constantly makes comments about other people might be a defense mechanism, because if she gets to the others first then she's less of a target. In this instance it could be trying to get them to dislike her so they pay her less attention and try to avoid her, and the more that happens the less likely they are to notice her or her body and he things she doesn't like about herself.

The ogre armor doesn't seem like it would help either, seeing how much skin it puts on display. There's very little coverage and what it does cover is molded to the shape of her body, so she really can't hide. All she's got is her personality to protect her, so maybe she really aggressive and unpleasant as a result of that and trying to get people to stay away from her as much as she can as a bodyguard.

Grizel! Ngl I wasn't aware that those symptoms you described were part of OCD (I associate those more with autism and sensory disorders), so I don't think I can really comment on those. In terms of obsessions and compulsions, maybe if Grizel's OCD is something she developed from being a bodyguard and all the trauma that comes with that, they might center around harm and hurting others. Fears of injuring her guard, forgetting something she needs to remember to protect them, things being slightly unbalanced and it causes something bad to happen. Essentially, her fears might center around hurting people--maybe that could branch out into the spread of disease, trying to protect people through strict cleanliness.

I imagine whatever compulsions she does to try and deal with that wouldn't be helpful to being a good bodyguard. Constantly on edge and checking herself, reviewing things so nothing happens, repeating things etc. It would be exhausting to engage in all that on top of her responsibilities, I assume.

As for Bo, I'm not sure! I've already taken up a lot of space with this ask so maybe I'll talk about him in another one. Maybe something that affects how he gets along with others, his empathy, things like that. He's shown to be very independent in the books and only gets along with others when he's ordered to. Something where he follows the rules strictly. Unsure exactly what it would be but!! It's an interesting prompt.

I hope you also have a nice day!! If you have a time zone similar to mine than you're just starting out and have the rest of the day to enjoy and do things. I'm gonna see if I can get through a lot of writing today, as I haven't written in a month and a half (NaNoWriMo got me really ahead and then family things happened) and I miss it. I want to know what happens next in my stories so I'm hoping to find out.

[leatherbookmarking]

loose thots so that people don't resent me for one sillay post every 3 seconds:

wwx sees the cultivators starting hunting on the dafan mountain again after they were freed and briefly considers being a little nuisance to them because they were jin ling's opponents... uncle brain uncle brain

"oh it's going to be Bad when that jin ling steps up to lead his sect!" mxtx is this fun. is this a fun little joke to you

i saw that the jiang sect motto has been translated as ‘attempt the impossible’ and i began wondering if it’s a good translation. on one hand, mottos ought to be short and succinct, so it works, on the other, i’ve seen my number of people who’ve interpreted it as ‘the jiang sect’s motto is basically #yolo hahaha!’ when the original quote, something like “know and understand that something is impossible, then try to achieve it anyway”, sounds like there’s more awareness in it, rather than “rules are meant to be broken yayyyyy”. maybe it’s just the ‘nooo it’s not that simple, the original sentence has Depth!’ syndrome? but then several meta-writing people have commented on it, so i don’t know

ah another sentence that sounds Hmmm. “who knows who bestowed it with its divinity and had the audacity to place it here for worship!” it just... doesn’t really hit? exr’s “It’s only a stupid rock, given the title of a goddess by who knows who. And people dare to give it incense and worship!” is, hmm. bouncier

dear god, sometimes this book really sounds like it wasn’t translated by a native english speaker. first “the azimuth of her gaze”, then “a cataract of blood”. “cataract” apparently does mean a large waterfall or a downpour, but for god’s sake...

i never remember what parts were made up for the show and what were actually in the book... i thought wen qing and her branch living in dafan was a show thing...? so why does lsz feel the goddess’ face is familiar...? hhhh brain cooperate please

on one hand i’m a humorless bitch, don’t like the “haha lxc has never washed his clothes in his entire life” thing Very much, on the other, there IS something delicious in how privileged and isolated the lan are. the juniors were surprised by people being People in the mo village, now we learn that they’ve never considered the concept of Not Having Money... of course they’re juniors, so perhaps it’s supposed to show us that the previous generation tried to make their lives better, but. sigh

like come onnnn lan an was a monk! i always thought he was a monk monk, not a rich monk whose specialty is accepting gifts and looking healthy!

DOING LAUNDRY IS A USEFUL SKILL

huff.

the exr translation has a-yan’s husband being killed by wolves, but in this one, it’s a jackal.... i went to check, the original really does have 豺狼. and they can hunt alone. huh...!

squints squints, i don’t like how they preserve the chinese structure of “who knows”. “who knew if they would notice anything amiss and rush over?” like what does it MEAN. it sounds so strange.

this one sentence is confusing in both the official and exr translation. it’s like, “whatever creepy thing was coming, at least it was obeying his command”, or something, right?

ohhhh so they’re not black veins but black cracks? as in cracks in his skin? HUH yeah that’s gross, yeah, yep, kinda disgusting

wql 🤝 sms @ having holes in them, possibly oozing fluids

ooooooh i didn’t see the wen ning illustration! it’s so cool and dynamic! and oh yeah those nails!

god it would have been so wild if someone had managed to catch wen ning. the word would probably get to jgy real fast. what do you do in a situation like this

ah, lwj and jc commenting in unison, “...”

i just. i love jingyi lansplaining zidian to jc so much. kid. holy fuck

so one of the cultivators says jc might not know who mxy is, and jc indeed seems so, but... jin ling... jgy... jc would have to have some incredible tunnel vision not to know mxy

but ALSO “yeah wwx was a mass murderer and the embodiment of evil, but come on let’s give him some respect, he wouldn’t pick a cutsleeve to posses AND he was good at playing the flute. duh”

at what point fo you think jc was 1000% sure that was wwx? personally my bet is on “um, it’s kinda weird that you’re so clingy, sect leader jiang” and what happens later. there is only One person who would be THIS annoying

LAN XICHEN LAN HUAN ZEWU-JUN 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

“People were a product of their environment.” HA!

LIANFANG-ZUN 💛 JIN GUANGYAO 💛 A-YAO 💛💛💛

JIN LING’S LITTLE UNCLE 💛 

it’s Incredible that we start the story with mxy as the one who slept on the cold ground and ate leftovers, while jgy could summon zewu-jun to help him pick curtains! when mxy has been brought into the picture to show jgy exactly how replaceable he was! mxtxxxxxxxxx

“damn cut-sleeve!” jingyi homophobe of the year 2k22!!!!!!1111

“pedantry, pertinacity, and proficiency in producing peerless pupils” yes!!! yes!!! love this one!!! mwah chefs kiss!!!

ok, i’m taking a break, but i gotta admit that if i get into the flow and pay less attention to the writing and more to the events, it’s p enjoyable!

[stalebriochebuns]

I know I don’t post but I wanna praise My Hero’s world building so bad / a Bakugou Katsuki appreciation post.

I wanna talk about society, specifically it’s views on heroism.

Bakugou and Deku are products of their society obviously. But what I don’t think people see is that they’re meant to be different extremes of the same problem.

Hero worship.

The problem is that society has given a specific set of criteria that defines a hero... ie a Licence. It’s the whole thing Stain despised, the idea that a hero no longer can be defined by their deeds or who they save but by a government issued card for passing a test. It completely takes away from the concept of a hero existing for the people and turns it into straight capitalism.

There’s a quote that I heard and can’t remember where it came from that goes along the lines of ‘A villain can exist without a hero, but a hero cannot exist without a villain.’ Which I think is true, being a hero revolves around the existence of villains but that’s entirely ignored in BNHA’s world.

And those heroes are glorified. Put on a pedestal by civilians, and I’m not saying they shouldn’t be, they’re heroes but what it results in is expectations for the next generation to live up to. So children are encouraged to be like those hero’s and unwittingly the parents place value on children based on their quirks. They’ve internalised this idea that Good quirks = greatness. And it’s not something new, often times fiction is a reflection of reality, because reality gives context for the issues within that fictional world. You’ll always find things that remind you of the real world. Here this idea that what you’re born with biologically determines greatness reminds me of how Chinese family’s used to value male babies over female babies, simply because that’s part of my culture. Others might read into it differently. These issues are transcendental, that is why there can be so many interpretations.

Anyway, willingly or not, the adults perpetuate this idea of Good Quirk = Greatness, thus stigmatising No Quirk/ bad Quirk = Failure.

Deku is quirkless, he’s the opposite of what society wants and therefore suffers at the hands of hero worship. He’s pushed aside as the minority, and if you think about it that 20% of the population being quirkless is going to mainly consist of the older generation since quirks are genetically inherited so he’s really insulated, I wouldn’t be surprised if the first person he met his age who was also quirkless was Melissa (From The Two Heroes movie). His own mother telling him she’s ‘Sorry’ after he finds out that he’s quirkless only backing up this idea that he’s different and that he should be pitied. And we look up to our parents, so coming from Inko, Izuku was on the way to internalising that view also. And in some ways he has, I might be wrong about this but when he finds out that Melissa is Quirkless he apologises to her also, he’s doing to others exactly what had been done to him because that’s what humans do, we replicate behaviour.

Bakugou is exactly what they want and from the moment he’s gotten his quirk he’s not only been put on a pedestal by peers but by adults too, adults who should be his superiors are putting him above themselves, no wonder he gets an inferiority complex. He’s told he ‘will be a hero’. Unfair expectations to ever put on a child who hasn’t had the real world experience to decide his own career just yet. And so it manifests into an inferiority complex that the show actually admits to him having. He was never given any other option than to be a hero.

He was told for his whole life he’d be the best so to see someone who was always behind him move forward made him feel inadequate obviously, his lashing out isn’t excused by society’s involvement but can explain it. He’s working on it though. Working with Deku. Helping him improve. He’s shown character development. And it’s not just that, he’s driven solely by the idea of ‘winning’ which some might see as conceited but ‘winning’ is vague, it has no meaning, he chooses the challenge, he’s the only one who can define what ‘winning’ means to him. Some might think ‘winning’ means glory, or money or fame and he wants to be No.1 so there’s an aspect of that but it could just mean no casualties, everyone surviving, everyone being saved. Which I think is interesting.

Something else I think is admirable is that in his mind all opponents are just that, opponents. That’s why he goes all out when fighting Uraraka during the Sports festival, he said it himself. That it doesn’t matter that she’s a girl, she’s a girl that shouldn’t be underestimated. He doesn’t see her as weak. Even when the crowed and Present Mic got mad at him for being rough while fighting her. A fucking feminist Icon.

And he’s not just the typical 2 dimensional bully. He’s canonically got the best grades in the class, above Iida even. He goes to bed at reasonable times (8:30) most of the time. He studies, he even helped Kirishima. He works hard and it’s not just a natural talent which makes his character even better.

He feels guilt for being the catalyst for All Might’s down fall. They both idolised the hero and he felt like a fucking BURDEN. The self awareness he has is impeccable, understanding that he cannot control everything and being so angry about it, and why? Because he was told he could do anything he put his mind to, and he was discovering for the first time that that was a lie, that those adults were liars.

And when the villains kidnapped him he told them to fuck off. He was a hero through and through. He wouldn’t join them.

He’s a hero. A terribly misguided hero born from unrealistic expectations of children

He’s the epitome of gifted kid syndrome. He’s got a complex and major anxiety issues because of it. Imagine being told that they’re better than everyone else your age as a kid? You’ll believe it. Of course you’ll think you’re better bc the adults told you you were.

And it contrasts so well with Deku, Because their issues are due to the same societal pressure albeit different sides of that same scale.

That’s why ppl like him. He’s trying but just like Deku he was given an unfair disadvantage

He’s as much of an underdog. He’s a child who’s unlearning everything he’d been taught about himself.