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thethirdwheel404 · 4 years

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Med Rewatch Series (#10)

S3 E10: Down By Law.

Episode Description: Dr. Manning sustains an injury while helping a drive-by victim and Dr. Rhodes finds himself in uncomfortable waters.

Connor being in ‘uncomfortable waters’? I can hear Ava bullying him already.

(also i wrote a little thing abt maggie giving ava a red bull so enjoy that little bit of content)

Let’s get into it.

-barry just yeeted natalie against a car holy shit that’s fucking hilarious

-will needs to chill the fuck out

-YESSSSS

-THIS WHERE CONNOR BRINGS THE WOMAN HE WENT OUT WITH UP FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. AND THEN AVA HARASSES HIM FOR IT.

-this is one of the most iconic ava moments. (it’s first thing that pops up under the tumblr tag)

-ava overhearing connor not knowing his date’s last name. and ava walking over, already getting ready to make fun of him. barely concealing her smile

-the confidence with which she set down the file. she was too prepared and too excited

-this could just turn into a list of ava quotes

-”It must be hard, remembering all their names.”

“You know I read Derek Jeter used to send his conquests home with a gift basket. But a full cardio work up is... It’s much classier.”

-ava bekker secret baseball fan?

-Connor: “Jeter? You a baseball fan?”

Ava: “Oh, no. It’s much too boring. But I love gossip.”

-interesting. very, interesting... is it weird to anyone else to think about ava liking gossip?

-like the idea is fun and all but i hate the idea of ava being suuuper obsessed with gossip. it makes her seem way too shallow in my book. that being said, one of my hcs about women gossiping about all the shit men do to ava bc they know she’ll call them on it now has a lot more precedence

-i know she explicitly says that baseball is boring but i can’t get the idea of ava being a secret baseball fan out of my head. its just so novel

-HER SHIT EATING GRIN

- Connor: “Well, we will get you in and out of here as quickly as possible.”

Ava: “That’s what Dr. Rhodes is renowned for around here. Quick in and outs.”

Connor: *turns to her condescendingly*

Ava: *two finger salute* “I’m Dr. Bekker, by the way.”

-the lesbian icon jumped out

-also the fact that in the previous episode Ava’s mentor did the exact same salute. idk what it means but it’s not that important

-ava trying to hide her smile when asking the woman if she wanted them to contact her husband

-ava overhearing again when latham tells connor the woman he was with was doing cocaine

-ava smirking when connor says that he thinks the heart attack was from his sex and not the cocaine

-connor thinking he’s so good at sex he’s going to give this woman a heart attack

-he really drives All the ladies wild in EveryWay (sex, suicide. he’s the whole package)

-latham asking connor point blank “did you partake in the cocaine?”

-the ct team gives connor so. much. shit. it’s so funny

-also. ava just chillin at her desk looking at scans? that’s the kind of content i want to see. just her just being there. doing her own thing. that’s what i want

-THE GUY WITH A TEENAGE WIFE IS A REVEREND HOLY SHIT

-counting down the minutes til natalie drops dead (passes out but yk a girl can dream lol)

-sarah. back at it again with her rayon jacket and button up and backpack. the coffee cup only adds to the aesthetic

-connor being surprised that latham isn’t gonna let him do surgery on the women he fucked (twice, he might add)

- whatever you do, don’t think of a brown bear. are you thinking about it?

-maggie dealing red bull to people who need it. that’s a very soft idea

- ex:

Dr. Bekker is sitting at the desk in the ED. Well, sleeping, more like it. Her head is resting on her fist, her elbow precariously close to slipping off the the chair armrest, and her eyes open by just a hair.

“Dr. Bekker.”

Ava jolts awake.

“Maggie,” Ava says, strong accent cutting through, acknowledging the person standing over her. Hastily, she adjusts her jacket and scrubs, smoothing them back into place.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this tired.”

Ava shrugs, seamlessly slipping back into easy confidence.

“Rough couple of cases. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Uh huh,” Maggie says, unbelieving.

She sets a can of Red Bull on the desk with a knowing look.

“You need this more than anybody.”

Ava scoffs. “Those things? They are murder on your heart, come on.”

Maggie hums and walks away. Ava watches her leave, and when she’s out of sight, Ava darts forward, grabs the energy drink, immediately cracking it open and downing half of it.

- anyway.

- @punksarahreese that’s on you for making me believe ava loves energy drinks

- let’s continue

- sarah looking at charles telling her not to do something: I am not going to do a thing you said

- go off babe. it was the wrong decision but go off

- all the nurses watching this guy call nat a bitch: 👀 👀 👀 👀

- will being like: god that guy called you a bitch i fucking hate him

- and natalie being like: he is also refusing to let us treat the 14 yr olds cancer but you obviously have priorities

- sarah is so logical. she’s good at talking to people. can you FUCKING IMAGINE IF SHE HAD BETTER GUIDANCE (oh and less trauma)

- this is also the one with that hilarious screen cap of sarah holding a knife

- the way she is so calm about handing this patient a knife gives me anxiety

- THIS SCENE IS SO HARD TO WATCH IT SCARES ME SO MUCH

- sarah just in alone in a room with a man who keeps having visions of stabbing his wife. and her just handing him a fucking knife oh my god i have too much anxiety for this

- rewatching the series and getting completely confused bc norma is 5′7″ but she looks so short next to colin and the guy who plays latham

- AND RACHEL IS ALSO 5′ 7″ BUT THEY BOTH LOOK SO SHORT - WHY EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW SO TALL

- anyway. ignore that that’s not important

- I... the parallels btwn sarah offering this guy the ability to slit her throat (for therapy) and ava cutting her throat... i don’t know what to do with this information

- idk but sarah holding the knife got me feelin some type of way

- the way connor looks at ava with such contempt bc she... does her job (and his but yk) especially during the hug wtf dude honestly just stop looking at her

- this is also the episode where ava pawns off the patient’s hug onto connor. while yeah, it could ava just being annoying to connor by forcing him to hug his one night stand’s husband, but she did give connor due credit. (and something to be said about her being confused and a tad uncomfortable when the patient hugs her, which is why she pawns it off to rhodes)

- she also doesn’t hug the guy back, which is kind of funny, she never moves her arms and just shrugs out of it

- and like after the hug she takes a few steps away from the guy, really not wanting any more physical contact or attention

- there’s something interesting in ava’s expression when connor gets hugged by the guy, can’t quite explain it. i’m gonna go with it’s her trying to keep a straight face while connor hugs a man he just helped a woman cheat on, but that’s not all of it so

- or. okay, I think i got it. i think that that little expression when connor gets hugged is her rolling her eyes at him getting credit when ava did most of the heavy lifting. yes. final answer. i’m satisfied

- and her looking away from them is her stopping herself from laughing, bc connor is obviously not enjoying this

- and he’s so sad and angsty he can’t even play along with the jokes

- and ava smiling at him with pity as she walks in to talk to the patient, bc that’s really what it is. she feels bad for him bc connor is so obviously lonely

- and connor’s annoyed bc ‘dammit she does have a right to pity me i suck rn’

- med pushing the women are tough agenda LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP

- you hate your women characters so much just fucking shut your mouth

- and will being like ‘ i have a lot to learn about women not being objects’

- and nat saying ‘you are way further along than most’ like no, he’s not. the bar is on the ground and he still can’t jump it

- i’m pretty sure this show doesn’t pass the bechdel test. holy fucking shit it doesn’t. you’ve gotta be kidding me. (at least this episode doesn’t)

I can’t believe this episode didn’t pass the bechdel test. The only convo btwn two women were like maggie and sharon and they talk about barry and oh my god this is infuriating god med the bar is so low. And I’m pretty sure most episodes don’t pass the test anyway. Will is literally the representation of med. He gets lots of credit for doing bare minimum things like giving women rights.

Anyway.

This was a good episode. We dissected a lot of unspoken Ava things, which is very good. Ava had a lot of moments where she was there, but didn’t say anything, and when your characters can do that, that’s when you know your characterization is very good.

The moments where Ava isn’t really doing anything to forward the plot of the episode but she’s still just there, doing her own thing, are hands down my favorite. Her sitting at the desk looking at a scan while connor tells latham he didn’t do cocaine could possibly my favorite ava moment in the series, just bc it shows how much of her own character should could’ve been.

I drew an interesting parallel btwn sarah offering the guy to slit her throat and ava’s death. i have nothing for that but go wild

This episode also showed us Ava pitying Connor, another new aspect. she gives him shit but she also pities him. very good ep for little ava moments

as always, thanks for sticking through it

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

#chicago med #ava bekker #med rewatch series #down by law #mine

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acuriouslilthing · 4 years

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Umbrella Academy S2 R a n t

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SPOILERS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note: This is totally my opinion. Don’t like, don’t read. Also, I haven’t read any of the comics. This is all based on the Netflix series. Please don’t attack me.

I’d say, season 2 was a jumble. It was quite dizzying. The characters had many ups and downs in developments. The transitions were so w t f. There were too many arcs. The relationships were. . . And the plot had such a similar theme to the first season. With that, let’s dive in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHARACTERS

I’ll go into the characters each in a bit but here’s an overview. The characters were sort of a mess? I’d say in terms of the main characters, Allison, Vanya and Ben were the best (Ben wasn’t even there frequently). The worst being our Luther and Klaus? (Don’t get me wrong he’s one of my favorite characters but I think this season did him quite dirty?)

-Number 1/Luther: MOON BOY!!! Yeah no I really didn’t enjoy watching him this season. Actually scratch that I didn’t enjoy watching him in season 1 either. It’s nothing against his daddy issues, I’m sure most if not all of the main characters have them. It’s just how he deals with it? His want for a father figure goes on to a mafia rich guy named “Jack” who he got acquainted with after getting stuck. I’m all for finding father figures who’d treat you better than the original but seriously? Lmao we don’t even see Jack after abandoning him for one lost fight. Which I guess parallels to Mr Hargreeves abandoning him but weren’t we supposed to let Luther develop? Idk, He’s just such a lost puppy. As well as his is addiction for Allison. It’s just so unhealthy I c a n ‘ t. I just couldn’t see his development. Hell, he disagrees for saving the world then goes on to do random ass stuff that is so unnecessary. I visibly groaned whenever he was on screen. Not caring about the apocalypse? Fine. Getting high with Elliot? oKaY. Telling Diego to find the siblings while he tries to coax Five, only to fall asleep? WHATEVER. Just, why did they have to make him so useless sometimes. The scene where he was with both young and old Five, he just bullshitted around. LIKE I’M SORRY LUTHER BUT PLEASE. His power was quite confusing too? He got shot by the bullet but survived a nuclear missile huh?? Anyways, the actor playing him did a great job. There were scenes I really just wanted to sigh but Luther looked so cute like a lost puppy.

-Number 2/Diego: In the first few episodes, I was extremely iffy with him. Some of it came from the fact that season 1 Diego was just so ;-;. Anyways, his obsession to save Kennedy was a bit out of hand. I get it, he wanted to save a life he knew that was in trouble, especially one so important. But I wish he stopped to think first. I mean, he chose that over the end of the world HAHA. Mm though I suppose I think I started enjoying watching him more when he reunited with Mother? Speaking of the mother, his interactions with her were so cute. He loves her so much and just seeing her there alive..I don’t know he was more sympathetic. That Team Zero shit was so sweet even if it didn’t pull through. He became much sweeter though still an idiot. As always, he had daddy issues too and I wish we dwelled more into that. Seeing him vulnerable was nice. Also him entering the commission was so badass?? Like damn. I guess his character grew a bit more this season which I’m satisfied with.

-Number 3/Allison: I loved her so much this season. She was such a badass queen. There were rarely scenes I’d facepalm at. I think it’s because Ray brought out a much better side in her. She was the most stable of all the siblings but I don’t think that says much. Her marriage was a bit out of hand at one point, I’m glad she was able to fix it. HOWEVER, the scenes where she abused her power was very irritating. It was never mentioned again. They brought it up but didn’t do anything with it. That can be highly used against black people as a whole. She did that in a room full of white people and I can only think of the consequences that could leave for their movement. Or it will go unaddressed. But I hope that isn’t the case.

-Number 4/Klaus: I love this man. He’s one of my favorite characters as a whole. But. . . what the fuck happened this season? It’s like all his development by the end of season 1 was just tossed out the window. He was sober and although he didn’t like it, he was one of the ones who kept trying to bring their siblings to the problem. It’s just his sober self in season 2 just gave me vibes of his drunk self in season 1. I guess it’s more on his personality and who he is but it was so interesting to see him when he was trying. Instead, I watched him lead a cult. It shows that he’s really not the leadership kind because he doesn’t know what he’s doing with himself, better yet how is he going to lead a cult? I guess he needed some way to survive but damn. Also I thought Dave, if not his siblings, was going to be his first priority. I know he ended up finding Dave already but why was he after the cult. Klaus half the time he didn’t do anything. There was a big waste of power for Klaus because he wasn’t even able to use his to full capacity. There was that one shot where he was falling and caught by other ghosts which was the only time other ghosts were seen. The only time he used his power. The season 1 ending had such an OP Klaus but it led me to expect more from him this season. Like, remember that point where they were trying to reach Vanya but it was from Allison to Diego to Klaus to Ben. The part when it was Klaus’s turn, I really think he could’ve used his powers to have the ghosts push him. He was giving himself the talk and everything and then he just flew back only for Ben to just stare. And as seen, Ben wasn’t affected by the whoosh the ghosts thing could’ve worked. He ended up feeling a bit like a plot device for Ben this season. I really hope in season 3, he’ll be able to develop his powers and develop himself as a character. Also for the record, I cannot believe he didn’t tell anyone of Ben?? I remember that clip with the “Klaus, is Ben here?” and he responded with ghosts can’t time travel and jazz. I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A JOKE?? But he ended up n o t telling AT ALL. Like I love you Klaus but your brother misses your family too. I was just so frustrated at him this season.

-Number 5/Five: This boy is one of my other favorites. He’s just so fun to watch. I guess it does with the amount of times he warps and uses his powers. His development on his powers were 10/10. In terms of personality, he’s still the same old grumpy pants but the amount of times I wanted to reach the screen and shake him I swear. I know he rushes so much but I remember he was watching a stripper or singer or something in the place where Luther was and was that really the time? He needs to tell his siblings before rushing head first. Funny how he keeps saying let’s think of a plan but as soon as he has one he goes with it. The Reginald Hargreeves plan wouldn’t even be able to go if not for the invitation. I swear this boy always has something going on which is why it’s so fun to watch him all the time. He just wants to save his family. And he’s just throwing hands every time a plan fucks up it’s funny and then he starts a new one. I’m sure he blames himself a lot for getting his family stuck. I wish he had time to develop his mental state. But I understand he was busy all the time. Though to be honest, Allison is probably the only stable one, they all needs help. Hmm I’d say he grew a bit more from the first season, though again the first few episodes of this one were sorta infuriating because he was basically repeating what he did in the first. I hope he can finally rest in the third season or at least take a b r e a k(HAmiLton). They made him super badass already, I’d love to see more of it but I want to see him more when he gets to actually talk to his siblings about anything else. I look forward to his season 3 arc.

-Number 6/Ben: HE WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL CINNAMON ROLL THIS SEASON I LOVE HIM. The one iffy part was when he possessed Klaus and was about to have s e x in Klaus’s body and not give back his body LMFAO. Poor baby just wanted to feel it though. He missed it so much and he missed his family so much. HE ONLY GOT TO REUNITE WITH DIEGO AND VANYA. Both times, hit just as hard. Though Diego never asked about him again probably because Vanya told them all about how he...Ugh, I wish he was there more to interact with the other siblings. KLAUS THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD’VE TOLDKFHJD. His scenes were so precious. My heart cried when he passed away to Heaven. He was just so gentle with Vanya. You’re my sister. AGH CHILLS. He was such a beautiful sibling to Vanya and I hate it so much how he wasn’t able to have more. He was a true hero. He should’ve had more scenes. I don’t know what season 3 is going to bring for the “new” Ben but he looks more aggressive and edgy than the old ones so I’m not going to have any expectations.

-Number 7/Vanya: This girl is always in such pain, it was nice to see her happy for once. Though I am a bit iffy with the relationship with her and Sissy because it looks like there’s an age gap but I don’t know, I’ll go more into it later. No, it’s not because they’re two girls, I’m bisexual myself. Anyways speaking of gender, most fans say she’s bisexual but I’d head canon her to be pan sexual more than bi. I feel like she really doesn’t give a fuck about who she is with as long as they love each other and that’s sweet. We stan representations. As for her character, hmm she was okay. She’s still unstable but in the end she’s just a hurt baby that’s been through a l o t and just wants a family. I’m glad she was able to use her powers more. High key Elsa vibes. She was not bad this season but I wish she knew how much she couldn’t bring them. The extent of the time travel world. But I know she just wanted love after having such a lack of it. I hope to see her get love she deserves in season 3. More specifically, self-love. Because these past 2 seasons, she’s been putting so much on that one person that I want to see what she does for herself. Maybe pick up that violin and go girl~

In terms of side characters,

*THEY PUT HAZEL THERE FOR TWO MINUTES AND THEN HE DIED. WHAT. I know it’s probably better that way but damn, he was one of my favorites. I’m glad he was able to live a peaceful life with Agnes. He deserved it

*RAY IS MY MAN I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH! He stays calm and collected most of the time. He does what’s right. He’s a much better choice than Luther. I’m sad we had to let him go but it was going to come sooner or later.

*Lila..She was such an intriguing character. Just, she was so dumb at some points, especially near the end. I wish she thought more analytically. I guess she’s like a more emotional female version of Five. Her fight with Five was pretty cool. She probably got with Diego because they’re mummy’s children HAHA. Her powers were so bad ass though. We’re prolly going to see more of her in the third season which I look forward to.

*Reginald Hargreeves, bruh are you an alien.

*Pogo.. He was cute but I thought we’d see more of him. But I mean he’s just a baby so I guess eh.

*Mom was beautiful, she DESERVES MORE SCENES INSTEAD OF EVERY 2 EPISODES FOR 2 MINUTES.

*The Handler was not bad I suppose. I mean I loved her in the first season. But here she wasn’t as terrifying anymore. She’s a hella good manipulator but of course it was going to bite her in the back. I was honestly looking forward to fish guy though. I hope she stays dead just so that we can see our future villains.

*Speaking of the fish, he was sort of useless. We didn’t get to see any action of him. He’s just a f i s h. We won’t ever know if he was as good at his job as the handler or what not but that’s because he did n o t h i n g. A F I S H.

*The Swedish villains, they were eh. Not gonna lie, the first few episodes or so, they were hella boring. Not as fun as Hazel(WHO THEY KILLED IN THE FIRST FEW MINS) and Cha Cha. But their sibling ship was really heart felt. And every time one died.. Just ;-;.

*Herb was such a precious soul. I hope he doesn’t die in season 3.

I think the problem was that some of the characters were just on standby half the time.

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RELATIONSHIPS

The way they treated and interacted with each other is what makes the story so appealing, the familial, platonic and romantic. The relationships here were fine but I just wanted to bring them up.

Romantic

-Allison and Ray: What a 9-10/10 couple. The reason why is because there’s a line Allison said that made me so...what? I remember when she reunited with Luther she said something along the lines of “I just, I needed something to hold on to. And Ray gave me that” SIS. That sounds like such REBOUND energy. It doesn’t sound like she chose Ray, it sounds like she needed someone to depend on and Ray was there. I’m sure their relationship grew eventually but to say that about him to her ex or whatever they are. She’s in a vulnerable state, and to say something as minor as I needed him does not seem healthy. Relationships shouldn’t always be a need-need relationship. Allison needs to be her independent person and fall in love when she’s ready. If she’s just doing it because she needs someone to hold onto. What kind of love is that? Aside from that note, their whole relationship is so precious. I love how much Ray stays by Allison but he doesn’t take her bullshit. Like he is strict with knowing the truth because he needs to know he can trust her and that she can trust him. And you know what, she pulled through and told him. Because she loves him. I’m glad they didn’t kill him off or separate them because of Luther. It’s sweet.

-Diego and Lila: I didn’t like it until we knew of who Lila was. Because honestly if Diego got with her, that’d reflect on how much he changed from dating a cop to a complete psycho. But no, there’s more depth in Lila which made her interesting. Their dance scene right after was so nice. It was like a fight for dominance and it reflected how they thought of each other. Though, when she started choosing Five over Diego it went downhill. Diego was so lost because Lila didn’t trust him with whatever shit. Lila was just going around playing mummy’s girl and getting flustered whenever the handler mentioned him. It made her look young. Then when she captured Diego and called him boyfriend I got so lost. Then later Diego calls them exes. THEN WE FIND OUT THEY’RE ALSO BORN ON THE SAME DATE. They’re not as bad as Luther and Allison but still, they could’ve been siblings. Their relationship goes up and down so I’m not really sure what to think. I don’t see Lila bringing out the better side of Diego. I only see Diego doing it. I think Patch was a better fit because she was emotionally stable. But maybe when Lila gets her shit together then perhaps??

-Vanya and Sissy: Uh...This is definitely going to be an unpopular opinion(im saying that as if most of what I said is not unpopular) but this relationship gave me eh vibes. Like I don’t really know what to say about this one. I’m all for LGBTQ+ representation and of course Vanya being happy but. I think, again, Vanya must be her own girl. She shouldn’t be someone to be protected or get validation from protecting. She should be her own girl fighting and figuring out herself. I think another iffy thing is Sissy was a mother who was stuck in a bad marriage. My thing with that trope is that usually, the love interest saving the mother is someone who’s ready to take them. Yes I know Sissy shouldn’t have to live unhappily. But depending on a girl who doesn’t have self-independence, emotionally unstable with her own unstable family. Yeah, no wonder Sissy didn’t come with. Just the deal is Vanya depended on her like a lost child with a mother. It looks motherly. I’m not judging from looks, I’m judging from the treatment. Plus, their first kiss, they were drunk. That’s a sign within itself. Yes, they didn’t regret it in the morning. But Sissy was in a vulnerable state. She was crying. And I guess I thought it was going to be eased in like “I’m really happy you’re in my life Vanya.” BWAM KISS. Instead it went like “You tell me how you let her go. Tell me and I’ll do it.” “Sissy I can’t--” KISS. THAT DOESN’T SOLVE THE PROBLEM, in fact she interrupted Vanya because she was so emotionally drained. All the emotions and weight of it, into that kiss. It’s not like a drunken confession, she’s crying about a problem beforehand. Not a problem on her sexuality, but a problem on her life. And... kissing doesn’t make all the pain go away. Running away doesn’t make the pain go away. I don’t understand the message this show is trying to give us for this but I don’t like it. I know they were aiming for simple life simple family but.. as said, it’s never going to be simple.

-Klaus and Dave: I just felt sad. This was so pitiful. They did them so dirty. Also, I know it’s not the show’s fault because they changed actors but Dave looked so young. In season 1, he looked about the same age as Klaus if not older.. In season 2, he looks like a precious baby boy. Like, I know they changed actors but I couldn’t get the vibe out of my head. But back to the main point. I feel like their relationship was sadder. Dave ended up going earlier. As well as he might avoid anyone who looks like Klaus because it would sort of be creepy. What hurt most is when Dave punched him. That hurts. Poor Klaus, again, he didn’t even get to say goodbye properly. He has to deal with losing him again but since we get less Klaus scenes this season, we can only speculate. I wish they could be together but they never could. One of the saddest love stories.

-Ben and Jill: I want Ben to be happy, I really do. But... he’s dead. He was doomed to have no love interest from the start. Though it is cute to see him crush over her. But the concept it a bit weird you know? He possessed Klaus to get to her and he was about to have sex in Klaus’s body. That says a l o t. Plus we didn’t really get to explore Jill as a character. So I didn’t really care about her and we prolly won’t ever. But I hope wherever Ben is now, he can vibe peacefully.

-Allison and Luther: I hate this. They’re siblings. It’s not all of them being under the same roof, it’s all of them being raised by someone who adopted them together. IT DOESN’T MATTER IF NOT BIOLOGICAL. I’m so glad it got called out this season. Though, it’s so hard to see them as just siblings now because of how often it gets called out. But no. just no.

-Sissy and Carl: Um. I don’t know what to think but both of them were unstable af. I wonder why Sissy married him in the first place if she didn’t want to commit to him. I guess Carl was a different person? Hmm, he manipulated her for sure but that’s because he wanted the family to stay together. Around the time he was about to shoot her that’s when it was clear they weren’t a fit at all. But I think Carl could have improved before that scene with Vanya. Fucking disgusting. But, honestly before that scene I couldn’t tell if he was genuine or not. Cause, he did look like he loved Sissy while Sissy would give off looks. It’s pitiful. But eh, this is the unhappy marriage trope so...

-Reginald and Grace: This was heart breaking. I genuinely loved seeing emotion on Reginald and Grace was a perfect match. When they broke up I AGH. I wish they had more moments.

Familial(I’m highlighting important ones but feel free to skip) There were less. and there was a LACK OF FIVE AND KLAUS. Their dynamic was one of my favorites in the first season.

-Luther and Vanya: I was hesitant in their reunion. Mainly due to the fact that we get a panel of Luther holding a gun. But, I’m glad he didn’t end up doing anything. I’m also glad he apologized. Their relationship is unsteady but it’s growing ish. But aside from the first few episodes, we don’t really get much. I’m just glad he’s not being shitty to her.

-Luther and Five: Ngl Luther’s incompetence gets made up from Five’s competence. It’s funny. When there were two five’s it was so f u n n y. Luther was just panicking everywhere. He was like “He hAs A pOiNt” and then like “oh no we’re going to kill him???!??!”. It’s cute I guess. Though when they first reunited, it was annoying as hell. I thought their dynamic was going to be lame but this wasn’t bad I suppose.

-Luther and Diego: Hehe. They are highkey two brain cells left energy. If I remember correctly, the first season contained them fighting over what to do or who’s “leader”. They didn’t have as much moments this season but I remember Diego chasing after Luther when Luther threw hands. It was cute in a sibling-y way. They were okay. I mean, as okay as any unstable family but it was nice seeing their meaningless little fights out of the way.

-Diego and Five: It was like arcs talking to each other. Diego was basically representing “Save Kennedy!” while Five was like “END OF THE WORLD”. Lucky for them that it was connected. But if it wasn’t, imagine that huge waste of time. Anyways, they were okay-ish. Five didn’t want to deal with Diego’s shit half the time but that’s just Five. Their connection grew after Diego went to the commission because I mean, they can now both relate. However, Diego only stayed there for a little bit while Five stayed there longer. And Diego was only recruited because his “girlfriend” wanted him. But either way, they now have something more to talk about.

-Diego and Ben: This was a cute heartfelt moment. And.. honestly I wanted more. Not just with Diego and Ben but with Ben and well EVERYONE. But at least this small moment was given. Just, Diego’s realization that it’s Ben. His dead brother. It hurt you know.

-Allison and Klaus: This duo I swear. I don’t really like it because I’d say these two are the chillest aside from Vanya. Their reunion was really sweet true but the way they dealt with problems? Allison is the more sane of the two yet Klaus’s influence helps her relax. However, Klaus is unstable and Allison didn’t really help him exactly. She just drank with him. Yes, she asked him how he was. But right after she goes to drinking. EVEN BEN WAS SMILING WHEN SHE PUT DOWN THE FLASK. And then she promoted more booze. That’s a way of coping for some people. But, I don’t think the time was right. Klaus was trying to be sober. I don’t think promoting what he’s not trying to be is a good idea, especially at that time. Then for Allison, I mean as Klaus said himself “Allison, your marriage is in trouble and your rally turned into a riot”. She shouldn’t be drinking either. She should be thinking of what to do. It doesn’t take until later.

-Allison, Vanya and Klaus: Their dance was really cute. I loved it so much. It’s what I wanted from season 2 in the first place. The siblings to have fun with no weight of the world on them. Allison and Vanya’s reunion was so sweet. I loved every second except the part where they got drunk and started to be like LeT’S coNfEss mY lOVe. But, it did get the plot along. I’m just happy they found solitude in each other while their other brothers were a fidgety mess.

-Five, Diego and Luther: Speaking of that fidgety mess, these three were all over the place. There were some funny moments like Five being so done and changing his clothes. While Diego and Luther were like h u h ? And they also had moments where they talked about daddy issues. Also when Luther and Diego found Elliot dead and threatened a person until Five came was hilarious.

-Klaus and Ben: Ngl, I found this relationship very bitter because KLAUS WOULDN’T LISTEN. Ben keeps trying to say something or prove what he should do but Klaus keeps ignoring his remarks. It’s very unhealthy especially when Klaus has the upper hand. He doesn’t even give Ben the chance to interact with his other siblings. While Ben misses them dearly. It’s heartbreaking to watch.

-Five and Vanya: I LOVED THAT MOMENT WHERE THEIR POWERS BATTLED. Even if it was for a split second, it looked so cool. Anyways, I don’t have much to say on this one because they didn’t interact as much I’d say but it was chill. A chill siblingship. Though, Five was being rude when he completely disregarded the fact that Vanya has people she care about in that time. He was too focused on the end of the world and that’s okay but he has to understand his siblings. I’m not using it against him though, he doesn’t exactly know how to read signs. But when you put them together by the end, it’s nice seeing Vanya having more control of who she is instead of being pushed around.

-Five and Reginald: It’s interesting. Five hasn’t seen his father in a long time and there he is. And, he’s scared or if not scared then hesitant, really hesitant. His father is someone who treated him like shit but he is someone who also raised him and has the knowledge to who he is.Of all the people, he looks to him when there’s no other choice. It’s interesting to see this because Five rarely hesitates. And seeing a man who has no real threat to him in that timeline but he knows how much he has hurt him. It’s breathtaking. Among all his children, I’d say Reginald gravitates to Five the most because as said he’s the most reasonable. As most theories for season 3 would suggest, Reginald probably chooses different kids because he’s seen how fucked up his kids are in the past. But, he talked to Five and I just wonder why he’d not choose him. I guess just speculation that Five was also fucked up. Anyhow, their bar scene was nice. It was simple yet had a lot of weight to it, especially to Five. Another scene I liked is when Five was spying on Reginald in the closet thing and Reginald stared at it. It was a shot of them looking at each other with Reginald having the authority while Five hides. It’s a nice frame to think on and what it means for them.

-Vanya and Ben: I FUCKING LOVED THIS. Even if it was one scene, I could replay it all day. Because Vanya, a woman who has been numerously ignored or pushed aside as a threat by her own family, finally has one family member who thoroughly cares...And he’s dead. She’s been through so much and no one ever seems to take her as her own person which is so depressing to watch. Until Ben. Ben was so peaceful and gentle with her. He knew she could explode at any moment but he also knew that she’s hurting and scared so God damn much. She feels like there’s something wrong with her and she doesn’t even feel like she’s deserving to live. And Ben took the time to phrase it gently but had so much weight to it because of how true it is. “You aren’t a monster, you’re my sister.”He reassures her that she is not something to be afraid of, not a ticking bomb. But a person who he loves deeply, his sister. He reassures her she’s not alone. He makes sure of that and he lets her know he believes in her. I just loved that so much. He was the only one who reached out when it felt like everyone was against her. And she opened up to him because he was the only one who would listen. That’s so touching and I’m so glad they had that moment. I’d say that was the best moment in the whole season. Their relationship says it all in that one scene.

-All of them: It would be such crack energy + daddy issues whenever they were all in the same room. It was entertaining but half the time they fought or bickered so it sometimes didn’t go anywhere. I wish they had more fight scenes though because they’d look united as a family whenever they were against the same enemy. But I suppose we’ll have to wait for season 3 to see that.

Other

-Five and the Handler: The Handler character gives major pedo vibes. So it’s very uncomfortable when we watch her have those little touches on Five. It’s very meticulous in showing their relationship. Five doesn’t want anything to do with her while the handler just keeps getting closer. Their fights back and forwards remind me of Sherlock and Moriarty. It’s all big game and gamble. Though for Five and the Handler it’s less of a game. It’s fun to watch I suppose but I would’ve liked to see another force opposing Five aside from just The Handler all the time. She’s a good contrast to his character though. He always refers to her when there’s nothing else. And we get to see his soft side with his siblings and how he wants to keep saving them and how he always emphasizes it.

-Five and Lila: Half the time if not most, Five wanted nothing to do with her. It was hilarious in a sense that Five was oblivious for most of it. Lila was a pained girl who had anger to take out. And Five was there, being an asshole. Yeah, in the mental side, Five was a bitch while Lila being emotional is not a good match. Their power fights were really hard-core, I loved it. Their original connection was through the handler and Diego then morphed into the whole killing parents thing. It was fun.

-Five and Five: This was hilarious. Too fucking good. Though, it gave me headaches thinking of all the times where if this Five dies then... Plus this time older Five has the correct formula now which could change? But that’s for a different timeline now or universe. I enjoyed watching them. When they were “fighting” it played one of my childhood bops. They oppose each other so well that it’s so comedic. It’s a nice touch.

-The Handler and Lila: Mother Gothel and Rapunzel or Thanos and Gamora vibes-- Anyhow, their relationship was very manipulative but hey that’s the handler’s specialty. It was okay, just a regular villain deceiving lost child trope. Though this one had more loyalty on Lila. For, this one had more love put into it. I’m not sure exactly if the handler loved Lila for real but we see shots where she takes care of Lila and takes pictures on her in a pretty dress. That’s cute which is understandable to why Lila is always so hesitant in picking between what she wants and what her mother wants. But as seen in the first half, she chooses Five. She chooses her mother. That’s a strong bond they got even for the handler. Though I guess it’s safe to say that the handler doesn’t really care about Lila if she was ready to kill her. I suppose Lila just brought amusement and help but as soon as she’s useless, gone. (Same with Mother Gothel and maybe Thanos?)Honestly though I got confused at one point because didn’t the Handler badmouth Lila’s parents? She said “Her mother who rescued her from those gin-addled, neglectful parents--”. If Lila didn’t believe in those words, she would’ve interrupted. If Lila did, then why did she care so much if they died? Yes, they are still her parents. But, she was so defensive over who killed them in the second half of the season. She kept calling them innocent and such. It was a bit out of the blue I suppose but eh.

-Ray and Luther/Klaus: It’s important to note that Ray is fighting for black rights as well as his wife. Now, to find out that she might’ve lived in a “white” world is a big shock to him. I can understand why that anger was built. I’m not going to go into detail because I’m sure others can explain it better than I can but in general, Ray felt betrayed by Allison. His expectation of her once he sees Luther and Klaus. Yet, Klaus is more likable since you know he helps him out of jail. They had cute moments in jail too. Luther looks lost af and I just don’t like how aggressive Ray becomes when he sees him.

-Harlan and Vanya: It’s probably setting up for the future plots but I found it unnecessary to give Harlan Vanya’s powers. honestly during the whole time he was screaming and shit, I was just like...Is that...Will from stranger things?? BECAUSE BOTH OF THEM WERE POSSESSED BY SOMETHING OUT OF THEIR CONTROL. But anyways their relationship is okay, Vanya helps him calm down but I guess it would’ve been nice to see more bonding.

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PLOT

-There were so many arcs-too many. To the point where it was such a jumble of what was going on. From activism to queer rights to daddy issues to mafia to mental asylum to a broken family to more broken families to etc. All leading to the major plot of “the world is ending”. I get it, they were trying to make the story more eventful. However, some of them were pressing issues that should be used more than a plot device to move the story along.

-I know each character was separated to shine individually but I wanted to see more group work. We already saw their individuality in season 1, this was just a different environment. The only group work where they all were looking badass was in a timeline that ceased to exist(Specifically the one where they fought during the Soviet Union-Us War). They sort of worked together in the end but LMFAO half the time some of them were pinned or just not doing anything.

-I have to say, this whole season just gave me a hardcore repeat of the first season. Again, all the siblings are separated. Again, Five goes looking for them but then goes and fucks around finding plans/leads. Again, the siblings fuck around. Again, the commission tries to hunt them down. Again, they are tricked to killing each other. Again, Vanya is the cause but this time they were able to mend it. Again Again Again Again. Just please. I was really looking forward to seeing something new. I wanted to see their younger selves because by the end of season 1 they turned younger?? But instead we get a repeat of season 1 with a bunch of differences that weren’t able to be fully expounded. It’s like this season was a plot device itself for season 3. It was used to find out more characters and find out more of the universe. While the mental stability remains the same.

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NOTES

~Sissy’s family. I don’t know what to say about this family. It’s obviously fucked up. Harlan is just like confused majority of the time. While Sissy and Carl have so many issues. I really had hope for Carl until that homophobic remark and the fact that he tried to shoot his wife. I know I know it’s obvious to see Carl as the asshole immediately but it would’ve been nice to see a change of pace where Carl is worth staying for: He cares about his son, he wants to keep the family together and he cares whether or not Sissy still loves him. And therefore giving Sissy more of a hard option. It adds more depth. But eh.

~Transitions/Editing. I guess it’s the same as the first season but for me, the transitions felt more abrupt and off-timing. Like, sometimes it would show Luther after 2 scenes when I’ve been waiting for Five after four scenes. It made my head spin, especially with the amount of arcs. But I guess that’s normal. As for editing, the part where Ben possessed Klaus, I really wished they made it Ben sooner because for 2 minutes I’m just staring at Klaus. It was okay though.

~The commission. As said earlier, the villains weren’t as entertaining. I loved the three brothers but to say they were more fun to watch than Hazel and Chacha? Mm. Not it for me. More heartbreaking sure. But not more fun. Anyhow, the commission seems like one big mess within itself. It’s so easy to go in their building and mess up time. I mean, what kind of security do they have? No one was protecting board control room thing. I’m not undermining Diego but ?? It seems like high school where people can just slip in and out easily. Also, the amount of commission that died from that last fight. That was a big yikes. I understand their role in the story but it was very undermining to watch them.

~Previous season 2 hopes. I really thought they were going down the child route. Like, I thought Five would bring them back to the time where they all were still children aka still being raised. This would include Ben being alive. This wouldn’t keep the same pressure as the apocalypse but instead a new one on how to prevent it but still being years from that time. They know it’s Vanya and this time they’ll take the time to understand her. They’ll take the time in understanding each other. Frankly, some of my favorite parts of this season would be when they’re bonding. Because they rarely get to do that in season 1. This season 2 would be bonding-centric, while dealing with their powers. I mean, aside from those few flashbacks in season 1, how badass would it be to see it in real time? We would get to explore their capabilities. It would make them look united, it would make their mental issues seem addressed and it would let them have the playful youth they deserve. I guess that’s more of a fanfiction idea though. Most fans probably wants more action than affection so I understand why they took this route. Probably because they wanted to keep the same actors too. But still, it would’ve been nice.

~Season 3 hopes. Not going to lie, my season 3 hopes are probably a bit similar to season 2. The only difference is age. I want their mental issues to be a d d r e s s e d. With the lack of apocalypse, there’s going to be less pressure on their shoulders. Especially Five. I’m looking forward to what he’s going to do in his free time. I’m looking forward to see what they all do without that much pressure on their shoulders. They’re obviously going to be more bonded now but will they just keep away again? As for the new group, I honestly thought they were going to be them but raised differently but I guess not. There’s definitely going to be more of an interest on Ben. It’s a whole new one and I’m interested in seeing how their powers and dynamics work. As well as interactions with the OG UA. Though, I feel like it won’t be major in terms of them going against each other. Like, of course they will have one point because I’m sure some of them are competitive af. But, it’ll be more fun than more of a problem. I’m sure they’re all going to unite as one against an opposing force. Maybe an alien arc. Reggie being an alien is also probably going to get addressed and will also maybe become a problem about alien invasion, unless they leave that for later seasons. Lila is also going to come back I bet. I hope no more handler. And if the commission is involved in any way, make them more fun to see in their world building. I’m looking forward to seeing them all though.

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Overall, as most movies or shows, I think the Umbrella Academy is a wonderful concept with so many interesting stories to tell but execution could need more work. As well as script. Though I’m not saying it’s all bad. Of course there were moments I’d laugh at, of course moments my heart ached and of course moments I loved. It’s not all bad unlike-- Anyways, it was a nice adventure and I’m looking forward to what season 3 has to bring~~

#Umbrella Academy #Umbrella Academy Season 2 #Umbrella Academy Season 2 Review #Umbrella Academy Season 2 Rant #Rant #iWISHTHEYHADMOREFIVEANDKLAUSISTG #Spoilers

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the-nysh · 5 years

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Reaction notes on opm s2 dub: ep2

Back again watching it live on toonami with my mother. :) She’s seeing it for the first time so I gotta refrain from explaining spoiling too much for her, while I’m interested in both her reaction and any interesting localization differences.

First up is the impression on Garou’s debut. Listening to his voice more, he does sound younger (not as deep), but his va sounds like he’s really getting into it, so I like what I’m hearing. :D It’s pretty fun. He’s really nailing that cockiness and energy to his voice. He can be all smooth and charismatic one moment, to mocking and loud with anger/emphasis the next. Like when he says,‘the strong are strong!’ I think it works. And it’s not just the way he talks either, but his language. He says stuff like ‘come at me,‘ ‘cordially invited to a little slaughter party,’ (nice) and ‘spectacular debut, huh?’ Like, it has that teasing, taunting, self-absorbed feel, but also sounds a little sing-songy and theatrical too, cause he uses all these fancy eloquent words to make his points. (Yeah, he sounds ‘fancy’ is what most came to mind.) It actually makes him sound intelligent with a purpose (especially in contrast to how blasé and casual Saitama usually talks).

My mother was alarmed with the violence (her surprise when Blue Fire hit the wall in particular, not the arm), but when I asked her what she thought of Garou, she was all ‘that evil guy?’ Like she wasn’t sure, so I had to forcefully restrain myself say ‘m-maybe. 👀’ (Ayy, I did point out to her that he happened to take out a bunch of criminals in the room so...) When he showed back up after the credits vs Tank Top Vegetarian (she chuckles at the funny hero names), she remarked, ‘oh it’s the guy with the v-shaped hair! It’s Wolverine!’ And I just ajfkghkghkg, because Wolverine (esp the actor, Hugh Jackman) is one of her favorites, so I’m 👀👀👀 Oho yeah, next ep will be fun. 8D

Sonic vs Genos and Fubuki vs Saitama were the next major parts of the ep. (Before then, when Genos and Saitama were chilling in the apartment, I couldn’t resist pointing out the egg apron, cause I love it. X3) Genos speaks like he absolutely can’t stand Sonic, which is heh. :P Truly, his scoff when Sonic introduces himself as Saitama’s rival, ahhh. Like such insolence, you pest! Meanwhile, (20 min later, hah) Saitama meets Fubuki. ‘I’ve already got a vacuum cleaner’ ahaha. Fubuki’s voice is perfect by the way, self-assured and smooth as silk. Saitama on the other hand speaks so informally (another huge contrast to the earnest and formal Genos) using slang language like ‘what’s shakin?’ ‘noob’ ‘poser’ ‘I’m hype’ ‘come at me bro’ (in contrast to when Garou said that too, but without the ‘bro’). So yeah, even just from the way Saitama speaks like a Millennial his bored, causal attitude makes him stand out from the rest of the cast. My mom even said, ‘he’s so low key, like nnnnn,’ so heh.

Vs Fubuki, when Saitama gets all pissed and serious (‘show heroes some respect, poser’) his tone turns way more heroic and accusing with emphasis. His speech to her even had those parallels to what Garou talked about too, about being strong in particular, so that was nice to hear. My mom approves of Saitama’s viewpoint about ranks, but really dislikes (truly, she audibly scoffed many times) at Fubuki’s obsession with them. Ah, and of course, I’d hoped my mom wouldn’t comment on it, but she did for that one unnecessary shot anyway, with ‘boy, big boobs.’ (The only part of the ep I could do without, so hhhhh;;)

More amused reactions from my mom included laughing at the ‘you had lint in your hair’ bit, when Genos decided to blow up the whole area, at the menacing ‘come at me bro’ egg Saitama shot, and when Fubuki finally realized, ‘Such power. He’s not normal.’ :P

Afterwards, when Fubuki explained the reasons for her actions were because of her sister, my mom was still unimpressed (like ‘oh,’ but still another scoff at her). She just really disproves of that kinda rank obsessed mindset. It confused my mom why there was a need/system for any hero ranks at all, like ‘why do they have to fight each other for it all the time? Genos isn’t trying to surpass Saitama, so why can’t they all just be friends and work together?’ (I also had to explain how most characters, except for Genos and ah King for that matter, don’t know or believe Saitama’s strength either, so that’s why he gets confronted/challenged so often instead of respected.) But, seeing Fubuki express desire to join their little friend group eased my mom about her somewhat. :’D

Seeing the credits earned an immediate ‘that’s it?!’ reaction, ahaha. (These 30min snippets are too short for her!) Then during the after credits scene for Genos and Saitama’s hero names, ‘Demon Cyborg’ got an ‘ooooh’ from her, and I was especially glad to hear ‘Caped Baldy,’ buahaha we both laughed. (So relieved it wasn’t the bland/literal ‘Bald Cape’ from Viz, so the dub knows better.) Preview for next ep (the big ep3) only showed the Tank Toppers arriving and Vegetarian getting his face punched in, so nothing special spoiled there. But ohhh man I’m excited (I even told my mom it’s gonna be a good one), cause ep3′s definitely one of my favorites this season. Gonna be plenty more ‘Wolverine’ for my mom to look forward to next time too. ;D

#opm #english dub #commentary #long post #to summarize: my mom greatly dislikes fubuki's rank obsessed mindset #and thinks garou's like wolverine ahaha #next ep should be a good one to look forward to #(managed to watch some of dr stone and demon slayer with her this time too)

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

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The Tragedy of Bruce and Dick and Jason...and Tim...and Damian...and, well, you get it

I maintain that Dick’s history with juvie and the system is actually crucial to understanding his and Jason’s dynamic, not to mention the reasons Bruce took Jason in at all in the first place.

Its usually described as though Bruce took in all his kids because they reminded him of himself in various ways, but that’s not really true. With Dick, yes, its been clearly canonized this was his motivation. He looked at Dick, who does look a lot like Bruce, especially when they were both younger, and saw a mirror of himself when he was a kid and had just lost his parents. He eventually took Dick in because he wanted to keep Dick from turning out like he had, consumed by his mission, his need to keep bad things from happening to other people, like had happened to him. To make sure Dick had more to his life than just that. He wanted a do-over in a lot of ways. Raising him was a way for Bruce to kinda see how his life would’ve turned out differently, how he would’ve ended up, if he’d taken a different path, if there’d been someone who understood his pain and the intensity of his drive to DO something with all the emotions his parents’ death left him with.

Yes, of course Bruce had Alfred, but its also been clearly laid out in the comics that Alfred - for as much as he saw Bruce as a son - just couldn’t relate to him in the same way Bruce could to Dick. He never really understood Bruce’s need to become Batman, he just went with it and supported him anyway, because he’s Alfred and that’s what he does. His kid wants to dress up like a giant bat and go fight crime? Well, okay, lemme get my sewing machine, guess he’s gonna need a costume.

And then with Tim, well, Tim came to Bruce, not the other way around, and they’ve always had an understanding because they come from very similar backgrounds. Same social standing, similar environments....Tim was neglected by his largely absent parents, not actually orphaned (until later), but Bruce definitely saw reminders of his own self-imposed isolation in Tim’s parentally-imposed isolation. There’s similar links and parallels between Bruce and Damian, Cass and Duke.

Jason was always the outlier.

Bruce never took Jason in because he saw a reminder of himself in Jason, (with the exception of Jason’s anger, which he could relate to on many levels, sure). But Jason’s story really has zero parallels with Bruce. Bruce met him when he was stealing the tires off the Batmobile. Both his parents were still alive, even if they weren’t exactly nurturing influences. He came from a wildly different social background and upbringing, was foul-mouthed, angry, bitter, vindictive, petty. Hell, he didn’t even actually look anything like Bruce, the way we tend to joke about Bruce taking in boys who look just like him. Originally, Jason had red hair. Bruce dyed his hair when he made him Robin. The idea that Bruce took Jason in for the same reason he took in his other kids, because he saw himself reflected in him, saw what he could’ve been if his life had gone a little differently, it just doesn’t work. On any level. There’s no scenario in which Bruce ever could have lived any version of Jason’s life. No scenario in which Jason was only a few degrees removed from Bruce’s own personal experiences.

No, Bruce took Jason in for one reason and one reason only - because he looked at him and saw Dick Grayson. He saw the boy Dick Grayson could have grown up to become if Bruce hadn’t taken him in, if Dick had been left to rot in juvie or elsewhere in Gotham’s corrupt system. If Dick had fallen through the cracks without anyone to catch him, the way Jason clearly had.

Forgetting where Dick came from, ignoring his original backstory, completely obliterates Bruce’s entire motivation for adopting Jason. And it completely erases Bruce’s real role in the trainwreck that became his relationship with both Jason and with Dick, not to mention the original relationship between Jason and Dick.

Because Bruce fucked up, big time, when he took Jason in. Oh, not that he shouldn’t have done it, but in the WHY he did it, and the fact that he never really acknowledged this and nobody ever really called him out for it. With Dick, Bruce was trying to give him a better life. Even if he fumbled and went about it the wrong way, his motivations were still pretty pure. Bruce was aware enough on some level of his own flaws, his own deep-seated dissatisfaction with his own life, to genuinely want to steer someone he saw himself in from going down the same road, making the same mistakes. A huge number of Bruce and Dick’s early conflicts were essentially Bruce frustrated that he didn’t know how to get Dick to stop making the same mistakes Bruce himself regretted making. Not getting that it still had to be up to Dick whether or not he did, that the choices ultimately had to be his.

But with Jason....Bruce’s motivations were not so selfless, and they were not nearly as self-aware. Bruce took Jason in pretty much in the immediate aftermath of his biggest fight with Dick ever, when he fired Dick as Robin and basically kicked him out...entirely out of an emotionally stunted sense of self-preservation. The idea of Dick being hurt, of losing him if he died, it terrified Bruce so completely that he pushed him away, as though if he lost him on HIS terms, deliberately, that would somehow be better, it’d hurt less. Except it didn’t. He regretted it immediately, but he didn’t know how to fix it without owning that he’d fucked up, without explaining to Dick WHY he’d done what he did, allowing himself to be vulnerable and admitting just how terrified he was of losing him....and Bruce just was not capable of that at the time (as if he is now, even).

And so then he’s out fighting crime one night and returns to the Batmobile, to find some scrawny little kid stealing the tires off it. A kid who wasn’t remotely apologetic, who was defiant, and ballsy, and not about to be intimidated by even the goddamn Batman, who swung his tire iron at this giant dude in a Bat costume, spitting and kicking and screaming as if he had the slightest chance of winning. It didn’t matter to him that he didn’t, couldn’t, Jason Todd was going down swinging. And in that moment, you can not tell me that its himself Bruce Wayne saw. That he looked at Jason and saw any version of himself or the kid he once was or even one he could have ended up as.

Nope, he saw Dick Grayson, the tiny little acrobat who’d guilt tripped him, HIM, into letting him dress up in bright yellow and green and run across rooftops taking on bad guys twice his size, villains he shouldn’t have had a prayer of defeating but did anyway, because he just refused to accept an alternative as reality. He saw the kid a young, angry Dick Grayson could’ve grown up to be if he’d been left in juvie, if he’d never had anyone else take him in and show him the kindness he thought he’d never see again after his parents died. He saw the Dick Grayson who’d been originally consumed not with Bruce’s desire to pursue justice, but with a desire to pursue REVENGE. I know everyone tends to view it as the other way around, but that doesn’t actually check out. Even in the backstories where Bruce finds the actual killer who murdered his parents, Joe Chill, Bruce’s own views on killing restrict him from every taking revenge rather than just making sure he goes to prison.

Not so, with Dick. Another element of Dick’s original backstory that everybody largely glosses over, even if they do technically keep it in mind - Dick Grayson wasn’t born this pure, virtuous, glowing saint that so many fans and other characters make him out to be. The exact specifics vary in the different versions of his backstory reboots have resulted in, but in the vast majority of them, this is a kid who ran away and ruthlessly hunted down his parents’ murderer, Tony Zucco, and who usually had every intention of killing him if Bruce hadn’t stopped him. Dick was old enough to know right from wrong, murder is bad, blah blah....he just didn’t care. And Bruce didn’t stop him by making some compelling argument or showing him the error of his ways, he didn’t tell him anything Dick didn’t already know. Essentially, what all those various takes on the Zucco plot boil down to is Dick only really refrained from trying to kill Zucco, settling for bringing him in, because Bruce wanted him to. Because Bruce was the first and only person to show Dick any kindness since his parents died, and THAT is what Dick clung to, that was what he didn’t want to lose.

(A little off topic, but additionally I’ve always maintained that Dick doesn’t have this obsessive anti-killing stance that most people make him out to, being even more rigid in it than Bruce. This is the guy who has an extremely complex relationship with Deathstroke, who’s mentored Ravager, who is the closest sibling relationship Damian has, not to mention his relationships with Huntress, Midnighter, Tiger, etc - all people who have killed many, many times, and often without remorse. Yes, Dick broke down after his role in Blockbuster’s death, and he had a panic attack immediately after killing the Joker, before Bruce resuscitated him - but if you ask me, this isn’t because his personal morality doesn’t make allowances for killing, its because deep down he’s still insecure about his place in Bruce’s life, and that HIM killing someone, specifically, could cost him his father’s affections. Which is a TOTALLY different thing from being too good or pure to kill, which is how he’s often painted as by writers and in fandom).

Anyway. Point being, the surly, defensive kid Jason Todd was when Bruce met him was absolutely someone Dick Grayson, orphaned circus kid remanded to juvie and likely to have fallen through the cracks and ended up on his own if Bruce hadn’t intervened, could have ended up as. And so while Bruce had looked at Dick that first night at the circus and seen the potential for a do-over for himself, the road not taken, with this cemented on the night he steered Dick away from killing Zucco and instead prioritizing (Bruce’s personal view of) justice.....Bruce looked at Jason that night in Crime Alley and saw the potential for a do-over for his relationship with Dick, with the son he’d driven away, possibly for good.

And herein lies the fuck-up. Because while I do believe Bruce eventually grew to see Jason as his own person and love him on his own merits, for himself, and not just as Dick 2.0, he took too long getting there, and hurt both Dick and Jason way too much along the way. All because he’s too much of a control freak to just accept that it was these tendencies that’d driven Dick away, that HE was the problem. Yeah, Dick contributed, sure, but Dick was the child. Bruce was the parent. It was always his responsibility to suck it up, swallow his pride, and be the one to reach out and repair the damage he’d caused by pushing Dick away. But because Bruce has so much trouble admitting where he’s done harm, he couldn’t do that. He’s this weird dichotomy of self-aware and willfully blind. He has no problem seeing his flaws when they exist in a vacuum. When they’re ones nobody’s getting actively getting hurt by in the moment. But because so much of his personality is centered around his all-consuming desire to protect his loved ones, keep them safe at all costs, ensure that he doesn’t lose them the way he lost his parents.....over and over and over again in the comics, he proves incapable of recognizing when that very same desire is the thing that’s actually harming them. He took in half a dozen kids who all shared a need to fly, to spread their wings, and time and time again kept falling in the same trap of trying to clip those same wings because he was equally terrified of them falling.

But because Bruce was so willfully blind to his own role in hurting his son, couldn’t reconcile his desperate desire to keep Dick safe with the realization that he was the one doing Dick the most harm.....he HAD to convince himself that Dick was the problem. That if he, Bruce, had made mistakes, that they were mistakes that he’d done along the way, places he’d gone wrong in raising Dick, resulting in Dick growing up to be this person Bruce could no longer relate to, no longer see himself in, that he couldn’t be a father to. And so, with Jason, he saw a chance to do it all over again, and do it right this time. Fix the mistakes he’d made the first time around, be a better father, make sure Jason didn’t grow up to be the man Dick had grown up to be, the way he’d once set out to make sure Dick didn’t grow up to be the man Bruce had become.

And so he created this trap that Jason and Dick had no chance to avoid falling into. There was no way around it. Because unintentionally or not, he’d pitted his two sons, two brothers, against each other before they ever even had a chance to meet. He’d made it a competition that both were doomed to be stuck in even as neither could EVER hope to actually win. Dick was screwed because he could never hope to beat the kid that Bruce had essentially replaced him with, not when Bruce had only done that because due to his own fuck-ups, Bruce had decided Dick needed replacing, because their relationship was beyond repair. And Jason could never hope to beat the kid that Bruce had taken him in to replace, because he was from the get-go pitted against Bruce’s IDEALIZED image of his first Robin and son, the person he WANTED Dick to be, and who didn’t actually exist outside of Bruce’s refusal to admit his own fault in his fractured relationship with Dick.

The very things he did that were GOOD for Jason, healthy, helpful, empowering....at the same time, HURT Dick. He adopted as his official son and heir within months of meeting him, even though he didn’t end up adopting Dick, his son of over ten years by that point, until years after Jason died, long after Dick was already a grown adult. And this was a good thing for Jason, at first. Bruce DID love Jason, had already by this point started seeing all the ways Jason was his own person, not a second Dick Grayson, and being officially adopted gave Jason a sense of security and certainty in his place there that he desperately needed. Problem is, Bruce only adopted Jason so quickly and easily because he recognized that this was a mistake he’d made the first time, with Dick. That it’d been a mistake putting off adopting Dick, that he’d always backed out of showing Dick the adoption papers he’d had drawn up for YEARS by that point. All because Bruce was afraid of rejection, that if he tried to insist too hard on being Dick’s father, tried to actually draw comparisons between himself and Dick’s first father, the idolized John Grayson, he’d come up short and get an answer he was afraid to hear. It was easier with Jason, since Jason had never had a good relationship with his own biological father and had zero problem rating Bruce the clear winner in any competition between them.

But of course this hurt Dick at the same time it helped Jason, because he HAD always wanted Bruce to officially adopt him, and it was his own insecurities that kept him from broaching the subject and asking why he hadn’t. The very fact that Bruce knew to do this with Jason, that it’d been a mistake not to push it with Dick, was because on some level, Bruce did know that Dick wanted this, needed this even, and that his own fears of rejection were baseless paranoia.....there’s no way to avoid this compounding his issues with Dick, because it meant that on some level, Bruce had once again denied Dick something he desperately needed and craved from him. A clear indication of their relationship, where Dick stood with Bruce, how Bruce viewed him. Ironically, at the very same time this proved that Bruce’s fear of Dick rejecting him were baseless, it proved that Dick’s insecurities WEREN’T baseless, because his place in Bruce’s eyes WASN’T entirely secure. He COULD be replaced.

And there’s the irony of Jason’s nickname for Tim. “The Replacement.” Only it was never actually ironic, so much as it was insightful. Born of Jason’s own insecurities. Because long before Tim came along, in the original family drama that was Bruce and Dick and Jason.....JASON was the original replacement, and they all knew it, only Bruce refused to admit it. Kept trying to act like it was all in Dick and Jason’s heads, even while every choice he made with the two of them just hammered in the reality that it WASN’T. Neither of them was stupid. They were the original sons of the world’s greatest detective. Trained to be observant and insightful. To read between the lines. They knew damn well that everything Bruce did with Jason was only because Bruce had decided (at the time) that his relationship with Dick was beyond repair. Unsalvageable. He’d essentially given up on Dick as a son, written off any possibility of having the father-son relationship he’d always secretly wanted to have with Dick, all because he refused to admit he was the one standing in the way of that and refusing to accept the man Dick had grown up to be, differences of opinion and all....and so had started over with Jason.

And Dick saw exactly what Bruce was doing, cuz Bruce isn’t exactly subtle when it comes to his personal relationships and his emotional issues. So it pinged every single insecurity Dick had ever had, and HARD. And once Jason saw Bruce and Dick interacting and heard the nature of their arguments, he saw exactly what Bruce was doing, and began second-guessing every good thing about his and Bruce’s relationship, wondering (with validity) how much of it had happened while Bruce was wishing it’d happened with Dick. Which of course pinged every single insecurity Jason had ever had, and HARD.

So from the moment Dick and Jason met, with a few rare exceptions where they were able to see past the Bruce-sized elephant in the room and view and interact with each other on their own merits, as their own persons, and just be BROTHERS, rather than dysfunctional sons of the world’s most repressed dad....Bruce and Dick and Jason were all locked in this never-ending cycle of Hurt, Rinse and Repeat.

Bruce adopts Jason. Jason is glad. Dick gets mad. Jason realizes why Dick is mad, and now Jason is mad.

Bruce makes Jason his new Robin. Jason is glad. Dick gets mad, because Robin was his mom’s personal nickname for him and not remotely something Bruce was ever the right person to give away. To make Jason his new sidekick, sure. But not with that name, the name Dick chose to honor his relationship with his mother. Jason realizes why Dick is mad, and now Jason is mad.

Bruce is happy when Jason calls him Dad and encourages it. Jason is glad. Dick gets mad, because Dick never felt encouraged or safe in calling Bruce Dad, even when he wanted to, because Bruce never encouraged it or even hinted it was what he wanted because Bruce was insecure and afraid Dick just didn’t view him that way and would never want to call him that. Jason realizes why Dick is mad, and now Jason is mad.

Over and over and over, every single damn thing Bruce did just compounded the harm he caused both his sons in doing it. All because he refused to just admit what he really wanted all along, and actually WORK at making a reality - to be a father to both Dick and Jason, and have both of them view him as such.

And that’s the tragedy of Bruce and Dick and Jason. They all wanted THE EXACT SAME THING ALL ALONG. But only Bruce could make it happen. No matter how much Dick and Jason wanted it, no matter how they raged at each other and blamed each other for not having it, Bruce was always the only one who could actually make them the family they all wanted to be. Because he was the parent. He was their dad.

And if you want your kids to accept you and call you and love you as their dad, you gotta do the goddamn job. Instead of calling do-over every time you fuck it up.

So of course Jason felt threatened by Tim when he came back, and of course he resented Tim, and called Tim “the Replacement.” Even though Bruce hadn’t actually sought Tim out as a replacement for Jason, there was no way for Jason to know that and no reason for him to believe it when told it....because Bruce had done this all before. With him! Every time Jason lashed out at Tim with that name, it was his own insecurities talking, his conviction that he’d been relegated to the same backburner he’d once seen Bruce shove Dick to, that he’d once insecurely expressed smugness about, when he could point to Bruce’s open affections as proof he was loved, but now knew exactly how it felt. But it wasn’t like Jason could take comfort in the fact that Dick was now welcomed back in the manor, that he was at Bruce’s side again. Because Bruce STILL had never acknowledged where he’d fucked up. In the wake of Jason’s death, Bruce and Dick eventually repaired their relationship....but only because DICK did the work. Was the one to reach out and make it happen, with Bruce so grief-stricken over the loss of Jason he didn’t have the obstinacy to KEEP pushing his remaining son away when he came bearing an olive branch.

But even with that, Dick and Jason at least were still painfully aware that should never have been Dick’s job to do that. To step up, be the bigger man, the more mature adult, even though he was the child in that relationship. Dick did so because it wasn’t worth it to him to insist on being in the right, even though he was. He eventually decided he’d rather have Bruce in his life on Bruce’s terms than not at all. But it was never his responsibility to do that, and that means Jason was never in the wrong to refuse to do that. To make it easier for Bruce, and coddle his own father when every child of Bruce Wayne’s has just as much trauma as he ever did, and he has no excuse for not doing the goddamn work of pulling his head out of his ass and giving his children what they need from him. Some actual honest, sincere, and UNSHAKABLE certainty that no matter what, he is their father and always will be.

And without that, the cycle was always doomed to repeat itself. First with Jason and Tim...because Tim might not actually have been a replacement for Jason in Bruce’s eyes, the way he’d unintentionally ended up making Jason a replacement for Dick. But without Bruce ever actually owning up to the mistakes he’d made with his two eldest, there was no way to address the fact that Jason’s insecurities here were NOT baseless, that he had actual reason to worry that this is exactly what had happened. There was precedent.

And then it happened again. Because by the time Damian came into their lives, Tim - who also is not an idiot, and easily the most detective-like of Bruce’s first four sons - had been firmly entrenched in the family drama for some time. The Tragedy of Bruce and Dick and Jason had for a few years now been the Tragedy of Bruce and Dick and Jason and Tim. He, like Jason before him, had had a front row seat to Bruce’s obstinate refusal to admit his role at the center of this tragedy, and so clearly could see Bruce’s patterns and how his selective doling out of favoritism went hand in hand with who Bruce currently viewed as beyond repair, in terms of father-son dynamic at least.

So just like both his older brothers before him, Tim viewed the newest Wayne son as a threat, and a replacement. And just like both Dick and Jason, he wasn’t wrong to do so. He wasn’t RIGHT, either, but that doesn’t mean he was wrong. That his fears were baseless. And so this time, just like when Tim had been the newcomer, circumstances were different, but the end result was the same. Bruce hadn’t sought Damian out, and Damian hadn’t come to him in the same sense Tim had. But once there, Damian received the lion’s share of Bruce’s attention as Bruce attempted to forge a bond with him, and so this time, it was the transitive property in reverse. Tim saw Bruce behaving in the way Bruce always did when a new son came into his life and occupied his focus, with tunnel vision - because Bruce always defaults to tunnel vision when committing himself to a new endeavor - and Tim reverse-engineered from there the belief that he’d been replaced and thus must have done something wrong, had somehow been lacking. Because that’s the pattern in their family. Without exception.

(Among the boys at least, Cass always having been exempt from this fucked up little family tradition due to being the sole girl and never a Robin, thus occupying her own little niche that had no direct competition, unlike the boys who always ended up locked in that same competition Bruce had initiated with Dick and Jason so long ago.)

And thus it became the Tragedy of Bruce and Dick and Jason and Tim and Damian. With again, always, the painful irony being every single damn member of this family wants nothing more than the exact same thing - to be a family, and equally secure in that knowledge.

I honestly don’t know how much this pattern has repeated with Duke, as due to not reading DC much since even before the nu52 for the sake of my blood pressure, all of my knowledge of Duke comes from fandom and fanfic. Which is more than enough to make me love him, but means I don’t feel comfortable including him in meta currently, because I don’t actually trust fanfics and issues synopses to have the same interpretation of the characters and dynamics that I’d have if I read them myself. (Seriously, I’m a little ticked off at how it took me like three years to learn that Duke’s a meta, even, which is extremely interesting information and something I was very interested in knowing, and am side-eyeing the hell out of a lot of fandom for how long this bit of NON TRIVIA took to show up on my radar. Like, its not exactly a small detail, if so many ppl leave that out like what the hell else is getting left out of fandom takes on Duke and his character and story? Ugh, I can’t believe I gotta start reading DC again, u guys let me down, why would u do this to me, ur the worst).

Anyway. Thought this was gonna be a little bitty post about how much Dick and Jason actually have in common and it ended up a Bruce Why Are You Like This essay. That actually sounds about right though.

The end!

(For now.....)

#batfamily meta #dick grayson #jason todd #bruce's kids deserve a bruce wayne who goes to therapy and actually learns stuff about himself

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kendrixtermina · 5 years

Text

Someone finally uploaded a Kingdom Route run with everyone recruited!

So imma be doing a bit of reacting

Kingdom!Ignatz works a bit like Empire!Felix - He wanted to go his own way unlike what his parents said and is thus following Byleth. In this case it’s of course somewhat less angsty ‘cause the Victors have the means to flee if necessary, unlike Rodrigue who was a prominent leader of the kingdom side of things

In an interesting parallel to how half the cast abandons the kingdom cause it’s a sinking shipload of kamikaze, on the other routes, Raphael complains about the instability and confusing politics of the alliance and how she should probably grab Maya and his grandfather and get them to Garreg Magh. I suppose a lot of people without connections or political accumen must feel this way. the monastery IS light javelin proof, so yeah...Raphael isn’t salty toward Claude himself tho. Then again he has little capacity for salt and in his paralogue it’s kinda shown that he makes a deliberate choice to live a low-salt lifestyle its not just obliviousness, he actively doesnt want grudges or awkwardness in his life

Leonie is also here to babysit Byleth and tells them not to let Dimitri push them around

Hilda: “The Monastery is a mess. So is Dimitri. I’m only here because Byleth is competent and Holst is annoying“

Dorothea and Bernie have so far gotten identical dialogues to the church route

Lysithea is interesting and kinda morally ambiguous. She says outright that she cares nothing for the kingdom or anything other than a peaceful life for her parents. She wants to get at the slitherers for her own revenge and they’re in the empire so she finds Dimitri’s revenge obsession convenient. Also very ironic cause, are she and Edelgard gonna fight each other because they both want to get at Thales? Very interesting bc vanilla BL doesn’t adress the slitherers that much - of course Lysithea says she has beef with “the empire” and doesn’t elaborate. At the same time Lysithea is MUCH more logical and self aware than most of the kingdom crew bar Sylvain so yeah

actually, Lysithea, like Felix, has TONS of route specific dialogue. I guess the devs expected those two to get recruited a lot since they are just flat out the strongest students apart from the house leaders.

The Kingdom is arguably just as infiltrated but Lysithea doesn’t know... and at this point Cornelia’s cooperating with the Empire anyways

General trend of the Alliance recruitees not being all that attached to the Alliance as they hardly knew each other at the start and half of them had nothing to do with politics

Nothing to do with the recruitees, but so THATS what happens if you propose to go to Fhirdiad first. Dimitri is like “You’re supposed to lead the church! Go rescue Rhea!” ...he doesn’t know the whole thing with Byleth being experimented on by Rhea (neither does Byleth at this point) but it is kinda low. Mitya you have no leg to stand on here indeed the main reason I was sympathetic to you last playthrough is that you never ASKED Gilbert & co to put you on the throne and made clear that you’re not interested in that... so following you was on them to an extent. but you don’t get to say “Do your Bishop job” (that Byleth never asked for) if you’re not doing your job cause you’re too busy doing your kamikaze raid. Then again he’s probably too emotional and just plain done with everything rn to see the contradiction/look at this with perspective he’s probably physically incapable of chilling out rn

It just ends with Byleth doing a pointed sadface. daamn Mitya don’t be mean to By-By she still believes in you dude : ( Though it makes sense he’s big on obligation he’s doing this revenge trip because he feels he must. So it’s more a distortion than it really is a contradiction, as far as he’s concerned he IS doing his duty...to the fallen. I guess if you can’t handle him at his “Go be a bishop or something” you don’t deserve him at his “my beloved~”

Still hurts a bit tho. Especially when Claude, though not without his own agenda, was distinctly a good friend on the topic, “Teach you’re in charge now be more confident~ the church doesnt run you, you run the church”

Before Aillel Dorothea says something about the Kingdom people also looking undecided of where to march, but she also wonders if some fighting/ victory will quell uncertainty

Also she and mercie are standing next to each other! Ive said before that it’s weird how they don’t rly have a support though they are the two most popular extroverted ppl on the campus... they GOTTA know each other at least on a smalltalk basis

Alois is like “These kingdom ppl dont seem to know what they want... but hey this allow YOU to shine as a leader”... so basically Byleth is running this show but for all that they’re a good field commander and decisive when it comes to immadiate practical problems, as far as big picture direction goes, well, Sothis’ “boulder” quote comes to mind. They just never had big attachments on convictions, the Felix support chain is also salient here. They kinda just did whatever job they were given until they found a bigger cause/purpose after throwing in their lot with one of the lords or the remaining saints.

I wondered how this would play out as the Kingdom route is very kingdom-specific, whereas Claude, Edelgard and the church all have an universal cause for people to get behind. I guess how this plays out is that before Dimitri’s turnaroud there’s the kingdom faction and the Byleth faction and Byleth is kinda trying to run the show as they think Dimitri would if he were at his best

Caspar is still on the more unphazed side but also substantially more phazed than on the church or GD routes, he wasn’t particularly close to Randolph but he’s not unaffected by Dimitri going a tad over the top here - he also has the takeaway that Dimitri probably never trusted him much since he was born in the empire.

Sylvain actually alledges something about Dimitri not socializing much with any Adrestians even back in the academy days if you recruit him on CF so this does not come out of nowhere. Also kinda makes me wish they had a support - theyre both naturals at smashing things but they have very different attitudes towards it. then again i suppose it would go alot like the raphael one

Ferdie recognizes Myrrdin is a strategically better location but as Aegir territory is closeby he wishes we could have invaded through there so he could take it back... Would the citizens want him back tho? After the war its a no-brainer cause he helped end it, the peasants arent going to complain about too much peace and prosperity nor are they gonna feel nostalgic about anyone who started a war with their tax money and then lost it, but if he waltzed into an area that had thus far been far from the frontlines, following his fathers’s exploitative management and 5 years of semi equal rights under edelgard? he might have been welcomed with pitchforks, through no fault of his own.

He says something implying hed like to come rescue his relatives implying that some of them are still alive. of course the pm deserves all Edelgard threw at him and then some, but id be curious about Ferdie’s other relatives. His mom probably looks just like him, because he sure didnt get the looks from his dad... or anything else really, apart from the crest and hair color. - though i think the a support with bernadetta implies that shes no longer around

Lorenz bitterly remarking that of course Claude and his dad eventually made peace since they both only serve their own interests. (”So long as their interests are in allignment they will continue to cooperate”) Says the guy we just rescued from his endeavors in turncoatery. Lorenz you’re pretty opportunistic too, and as for your redeeming features Claude has those too - but of course you’ll never find out in this one. Still, it shows that he’s painfully aware that his father - whom he would have died protecting if we hadn’t spared him - is a villain and a hack

Claude isn’t super trusting and knows that he gets percieved as shifty so he promises people to get them theirs so that they support him out of self interest. No need to take a chace. Of course by the end of this route he WILL take big chance on Dimitri

That says Lorenz is not SO biased that he can’t tell that Claude might be interested in working with the kingdom army

Lysithea (who surprisingly has TONS of unique dialogue here, and I like that it’s a complex mature plot) is having her doubts and not trusting Dimitri for all that she finds him an useful idiot. By and large you get the sense that many consider Byleth the leader of this operation, she’s glad that Byleth is there to issue sensible orders. She tells Byleth not to tell anyone and worries about what will happen once the empire’s vanquished. No faith in team Kingdom... at all. Understandable of course

Hilda’s dialogue is largely the same as in the church route and at times kinda the same in all routes but I like how she’s like “Claude might’ve looked like a lazy bum but he’s smart! If he says he’s on our side he will defs help!” before the gronder fiasco

A lot of NPCs stir the suspicion here so it stands out how much she totally trusts him like hes any other friend

As with the other routes with the recruitees you get an idea of what’s going on in the other territories such as Lysithea deducing that Judith must be backing Claude in his gambit

One moment you think Lorenz is going to add some somber insightful commentary to the sincerity of Claude’s offer but then he’s like, “Granted Dimitri is much improved. He must be asking us for help cause he trusts ME” XD Like... no friend. You’re almost right but if there’s anyone here he was faith in its Byleth. And then he’s even like, “Well no choice but to save poor Claudesy” On the one hand it shows that there not just pure hate there on the other... lulz.

apparently one of the first things Dimitri did after getting his act together post gronder is profusely apologize to Caspar for that ugly business with Randolph. Thats a worthwhile detail and i want fanfic of it. Caspar being Caspar he wasnt really keeping a grudge, they’re a warrior clan and they were at war

They had to move out so quickly that Hilda had no time to go shopping in Fhirdiad #Priorities XD

Meanwhile Ignatz, like a normal person, hopes his folks will be safe

hilda does eventually remember to maybe save her folks and claude but only after making Byleth promise to go on a shopping trip with her. Someone should probably write that fanfic

Someone told me that Ferdinand had some prominent critical lines but it was really just one, and it’s as I suspected actually just a variant of the same “a king can’t be emotional” line he gets in all the routes, this time with the addendum that if he turned around and decided to go rescue the capital, he might be capable of reason/being a decent leader after all. granted I guess compared to how most of the Kingdom people go along with everything it comes off critical? IDK.

Lysithea misses Rodrigue :(

Lorenz and Ignatz standing next to each other was a nice touch they have a fairly wholesome friendship

Leonie’s just glad that ol’ Mitya is “back to normal” especially since she’s pretty sure that they don’t have enough soldiers to get to Fort Merceus let alone Enbarr

For obvious reasons, Petra is pretty sympathetic about the whole “retaking Fhirdiad” thing

Seeing Seteth and Catherine so certain that Rhea would want them to save the people of Fhirdiad first when you know that she wouldn’t hesitate to set the place on fire is just...OUCH. Though it does show the goodness in Seteth and Catherine themselves.

Manuela wishes she could’ve moved her informary to gronder and save a few more peeps :(

It seems like to Leonie, Dimitri will always be just “Dimitri”, King or not. Figures she aaaaalmost adressed even Byleth by name XD You really DO get the sense that he interacted alot with the recruitees

All the house leaders shouldve had more supports.

If you grabbed hanneman he’ll give you some extra backstory on Cornelia - apparently she was originally from the empire and an eminent scholar whose great work Hanneman was vaguely aware of. I would assume that was still the real cornelia. Judging by the timing it sounds like she might’ve smuggled Patricia out of Adrestia. Assuming both were still original at this point this might present a possibility for why she trusted/vouched for cornelia without being complicit / lend itself to a “she was duped” reading

But it’s still suspicious that she would end up courting the second most powerful man in the land right after number one.

Some had suggested that Cornelia caused the plague in the first place but the thing is there was a perfectly credible “mundane” explanation for it (the city’s sewers not being up to date technologically) that theres no reason to doubt

Assuming that all the replacements occurred 14 years before part one when Arundel stopped his donations/ thins being about the time when Cornelia’s personality was noted to have changed completely, that would mean both the “fixing the severs” thing and the soppy story about how Edelgards’ parents met would be real

AAAA everything to do with patricia is just so ambiguous - if they were longtime friends wouldn’t she have noticed something “off”? Same with her brother actually. Lambert had his own country so its not like there was no one to protect her.

Ahhh THIS is how lorenz gets iinto the midset for that prissy, hes pissed that Claude dissolved the Alliance and misses it XD

you DO get to call him out for being a turncoat himself tho. particularly hilarious since Byleth just blinks and asks a casual question there

He immediately changes his tune

oh lorenz dear, i love you but you, sir, are WEAK xD

Lysithea as always calls everything and notes how suspicious arundel was alluding to the hrym nightmare also mentioned in her paralogue

She also mentions that he was said to be good and just at one point suggesting that there was a real Volkhard von Arundel at some point.

if the replacement took place when those donations ceased then Edelgard and Dimitri were 3, 14 years before part 1. Early enough that this could be around the time Patricia left enbarr, if this is when it happened then the romantic tower story might be real assuming that the Arundels were replaced at the same time - whatever arrived in Faerghus recomended patricia for a job so it probably had already happened by then

Its all so ambiguos tho we can only speculate there are so many possibilities

Ignatz marvels at how Claude managed to minimize damage to Alliance lands throughout the war, as in CF only Deirdru itself got particularly thrashed. Ignatz’ folks are safe and sound! Leave it to him to wonder where Claude might have absconded to. He was always one of the insightful ones but not in the same way as the other clever ones. More intuitive I guess. Cant remember if it was indentical to what you get if you spare Claude on CF (Cue the lets player remarking that Claude is probably stuck in a washing machine somewhere... he hadn’t cleared the Alliance route at that point)

Lol HILDA “And then the whole Alliance descended into chaos...” or actually she is surprised that that DIDNT happen and how orderly Claude managed the dissolution. “But I Guess we’re screwed if Dimitri turns out to be a crazed despot... he’s not gonna go crazy again is he?” You of little faith XD But she says all this in her usual cheery nonserious voice like

this chapter has a lot of unique dialogue actually

Linhardt impressed that anyone would have the guts to attack Fort Merceus directly and suggests looking for weak spots in the old walls

He shows up guarding it in SS and Vw doesn’t he? Guess he was visiting Caspar or something - or would have been familiar with the place from visiting the Bergliez clan in the past.

Ferdinand is wowed by Claude bowing out giving him kudos for caring about the peoples wishes. He thinks Edelgard ought to quit at this point and he’s alot harsher on her here than in any of the other routes. (”Not reveryone with noble blood has noble ideals” - Coming from Ferdinand that’s an accusation ) Interestingly at this point hes sticking with Dimitri cause post character developement, lots of ordinary ppl support him at this point and hes popular with the crowds. He’s wholly on the Savior King bandwagon, and maybe that’s why he’s harsher. He’s partial. Says something about him actually, largely good things when you think about it. Dimitri is probably the closest to what Ferdinand’s (and Lorenz’) own beliefs were. He likes the existing order and living in a fancy palace but he thinks the rulers should serve the people.

Its kinda ironic and sad because in ALL the other routes he clearly thinks Dimitri is an idiot and a bad ruler, and says he should be more composed and objective. But Dimitri wasnt at his best there now was he?

now ill be sad everytime I get to those “Ferdinand disses Dimitri” lines. They couldve been buds!

but i dont see this happening in any other route. According to something Sylvain says in cf Dimitri avoided ppl from the empire at the academy so they wouldnt have cozied up pre-timeskip, and its only the version of Dimitri who has his shit together which appeals to Ferdie as a leader.

really torn here on the one hand its a nice synergy to see lorenz and especially Ferdinand (who is waaay less arroganz than lorenz) sort of getting to win on their own terms with a ruler that jives with them and their Lawful Good fantasy classic thing. It’s not just a status quo thing its a protectors of the people thing. It’s heroic. On the other hand it feels like they’re stagnating when they could have had growth. This is basically the same Lorenz and the same Ferdinand we first met except slightly more mature. Notably lorenz is the same in the church route whereas Ferdie isnt as he still ends up rebelling fleeing and fighting against the empire. It helps that he practically winds up leading the remaining Eagles, albeit under Byleth and Seteth.

He still gets that line about being kinda sad to see the empire go though he knows there must be an end to the chaos, i think a few lines are different, so, not wholly without doubt

Shamir muses about hoe the three countries were once one and the same, but wonders that even if we put fodlan togethere theres no guarantee that it wouldnt come apart again. i mean there isnt, and wether thats a bad thing would depend a lot on the circumstances but its also possible that theyll get used to being one and forget they wrere ever separate. no one controls the far future... and should they? After all its always possible that someone in the future will have unforseeable circumstances or better ideas

Caspar sighs with relief that they didn’t have to fight his dad, last second worry about him turning up in the capital nonwithstanding... right does he get to live in this? Carpar wonders what’ll happen to him if they win, but he’s not holding down Faerghus so he might not have died the way he did in Silver Snow and Verdant Wind. It’s at least possible that he was captured alive and pardoned somehow.

Marianne’s adoptive dad sure smelled which way the wind was blowing; He was supporting Claude’s strategy to get the Cloucesters back under controll but sent Marianne to curry favor with the kingdom. Make friends with whoever wins I suppose. Ambitious politician indeed.

When she doesnt her from him in a while she wonders if he forgot about her but says she wouldnt mind that much because at least she wouldnt have to do any more politics? I distinctly recall that in gd there was something about how they got along better after the timeskip. Sigh.

she is real glad that Dimitri and claude ended up cooperating in the end

So does Dorothea but then she makes herself sad wishing that Edelgard was also there :( Me too friend, me too. I think thats the one unique line she gets this route. I like how it’s consistent in the church route she’s also the one who feels the most sad about betraying her, they were pretty close pre timrskip

as far as leonies concerned Dimitri is still just Dimitri even after taking back his kingdom. i like to think hed appreciate that. its also very typical of leonie. as with the “Caspar gets an apology” thing plenty of the recruitees get lines hinting that theres been more personal interaction between them and dimitri, kinda goes with how ppl in his own house follow him more out of personal loyalty than because they follow his plans like with the other two. hes kinda a very approachable sort of leader, makes the decisions with the group or follows whatever gilbert and Byleth decide, in the other routes theres always a distinct inner circle. Its cool how they incorporated the recruitees into that dynamic.

Petra is dissapointed that they DIDNT do a sneak attack on fort Merceus contrasting her usual line about how she likes sneak attacks. Dimitri naps both that an Enbarr head on doesn’t he? The Church has a smaller Army full of peeps who would rather not destroy Enbarr, and Claude agrees with Petra on the sneak attack thing and then Edelgard did that sorta shady but largely very gutsy thing where she didn’t sound the evacuation to restrict Claude’s movements knowing that there was zero danger that he would plow through the civilians (they don’t do this here cause last time they met Dimitri he was not feeling merciful indeed judging by huberts welcome lines and engage quotes he doesnt buy the turnaround), the AM ending narration also suggests that Enbarr wasn’t rebuilt, though Dimitri gave distinct “No pillaging!” orders, so they probably just couldn’t avoid wrecking the buildings and relocated the citizens.

Ashe also speculates where Claude went. That’s one of the things i like about Ashe he consistently averts out of sight out of mind I particularly always loved how he consistently worried about Dedue. Someone ought to.

Ingrid interestingly changed her tune here / kinda speaks positively of claude here - in CF she was like “I always though he was creepy”

Then again that was before fighting him I don’t recall If those two dont get the same lines if you spare Claude, have to go back and check

id like to mention that the lets player put lorenz in the pyjamas/loungewear the whole time as “punishment” for being late to the reunion and poked fun at him throughout.

#fe3h #fire emblem: three houses #fire emblem three houses

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meganthefierce · 6 years

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Gals and Mandem, I need your advice. Pt. 2

The Chronicles of Evan

Sup. Sorry this is a long one but you need to know ALL OF THE DETAILS so you can give me good advice. Just read it please, for me xx

Now... some of that last paragraph Pt.1 is a bit false. Well, it was true until a couple of days ago. That’s when Evan became a problem.

So Evan is a friend of a friend. I’ve met him before at a house party and I really got on with him. I felt some attraction towards him but that was because he was hella sweet and really pretty. Anyway, Evan and I really got on, but he’s super chill and gets on with everyone, so I didn’t think much into it. Plus Tyler was at this party so I was a lil bit distracted by that elephant. I didn’t think I wanted Evan, I just really wanted to be his friend because I really liked being around him and spending time with him. I was just so interested in everything he did and had to say. We hung out like twice in a group whilst he visited. Then he went home and I never saw him again. That was a couple of months ago.

Well this weekend I went to a festival and he was there, so he and a few others stayed at my flat. Before they all turned up, I got a message from my bestie saying “Just a heads up, Evan thinks you’re hot.” So I was like “What am I supposed to do with this information?” and she said “Nothing. Just letting you know. Just incase this weekend you wanted to make a move, I’m just letting you know he’s down.” My first reaction was to think “He doesn’t like me, he just wants to fuck me, our friends have probably mentioned how much of a slut I am and he think’s he can have a drunk fuck after this festival.” And then I thought “No, it’s worse, he’s jumping on the grenade because we are the only 2 people going who aren’t a couple/sleeping with each other and he’s taking one for the team.” So I was not thrilled by this news. THEN HE SHOWS UP My lord, I don’t know what happened, but Jesus christ this boy was fine. He was pretty when I met him, but now for some reason he looked better. Like a sexy, rugged, thug kinda look but with hippie vibes. He’s a Brighton boy so I’m hoping you know what I mean. Then the cunt takes his jumper off and he’s wearing a thin vest gym thing top underneath and WOOOOOW this boy is ripped. I thought he was skinny but hell fucking no he isn’t. He’s jacked. Very fucking nice body. It was so embarrassing I was just starring at him like !!!!!!!! I even accidentally said something out loud! I was like *looking at his arms and chest* “Wow! [this is when I realised I was being obvious and needed to play it cool] look how tanned you are! Where did you get that?” So dead. Anyway we go to this festival and he is a sweetheart all day. He’s nice to everyone but we spent a lot of time together. Every time I ask if I look alright he’d tell me I look lovely and he was giving me cigarettes even though I had my own etc. Just being really generous and sweet. Then we meet this stranger called Amy (SHOUT OUT OT AMY IF YOU EVER SOMEHOW READ THIS I LOVE YOU, YOU WERE A HOOT) and she jumps on the “you two are so sweet, you should get together” bullshit. So Evan and I play a long like “omg Amy you’re right. We should be together, he’s actually in love wth me.” Then we start telling everyone we’re getting married and Amy is going to be our maid of honour because she got us together at this festival etc. So there’s romantic banter and a lot of flirting but it’s all harmless. Then Amy tells me to kiss him. I say no because I was embarrassed. She tells Evan to kiss me. He says yes straight away but more like a “yeah mate I’ll do it” and I got the kind of vibe that it was a dare and he was only doing it because Amy told him to. But anyway, I agree and we have a lil smooch in the crowd to Andy C (such a good set btw) and then we carry on with the night. At one point he protected me from a boy hitting on me with the “tHiS iS mY bOyFrIeNd” card but I would have done that with anyone. But Evan made me feel good. He put me on his fucking shoulders! I’m not a small or skinny gal! He lifted me up so many times and I felt so good! It was a really sick moment for me. And I was hella impressed at how ripped and strong he was. NGL I was a lil bit more attracted to him because of it.

Then we get home and of course everyone bed hops because festivals equal intoxication and that means sex. So Evan and I end up in the same bed. But we stay up talking all night. He’s the coolest, sweetest person and we have more in common than I thought, and the things we don’t have in common aren’t massive things that would bother me. I want to be more like Evan. He’s just the best. He sent me loads of links to spoken word poetry and we spoke about family, what we’re scared of, how we both suffer with bad anxiety, travelling (He’s traveled the world), music, etc. He’s just so cool and he makes me want to be cooler, but not in a shitty way.

THIS IS THE CUTE PART I HOPE YOU’RE STILL READING

Then we try to go to sleep. He opens his arms out and invites me for a cuddle. THIS MAN IS THE BEST CUDDLER IVER EVER BEEN CUDDLED BY. It was heaven. He’s so nice to lay with. He tickled my back and played with my hair. It was so nice. We fidget a bit and try to get comfortable and he moves his face RIGHT IN FRONT OF MINE so our lips are parallel. I thought maybe he was going to kiss me again but then NOTHING. Nothing happened. I was waiting. Nothing. So I thought, maybe technically he’s made the first move with the cuddle and technically leaning in. So I kiss him. Yeah mate I did. Yay me for being confident. He kisses me back and it’s gooooooood. He’s a lovely kisser. Then I get a lil bit too excited and then I got a bit freaked out because I’m a nervous anxious wreck and I just stop and pull away and bury my head in his chest. He giggled a bit and lifted my head back up so our lips are really close again, but he doesn’t kiss me. I’ve now used all the courage I had so I’m not kissing him again. But I wanted to hint that I wanted him to kiss me. So I bought up the Amy Kiss in a teasing way, “Remember when you kissed me earlier” kinda thing. I know, my game is weak and I’m so embarrassed but please understand how FINE this boy is. He banters back with the ol “you seemed to enjoy it” kinda crap and we both lay there telling each other how nice it is to kiss the other person. STILL NO KISS FROM HIM. I’m now paranoid as fuck and I’m convinced he doesn't like me like that because clearly he’d make a move. Or maybe he does like me but he’s too tired and I didn’t want to make a move on HIM and then he doesn’t retaliate or something. Fear of rejection is one of my biggest fears. So I give up and we start falling asleep. But this guy wont stop cuddling me. If I roll over, we spoon, If I face him, he faces me and wraps himself around me. If I shuffle down, he pulls me on his chest and tickles my back. It was so nice.

I wake up in the morning and it’s exactly the same, but more. More cuddles, more chatting, more tickling, etc. Even more kissing. He kisses my neck, my forehead, my nose (in a cute funny way, not a wired way) and we make out quite a bit. Every now and then he’ll attempt to get up for the day but struggle and just lay his head on my chest and complain about how he doesn’t want to leave. We stayed in bed ALL morning just cuddling an kissing, for about 3 hours. Every time someone came in to get something or talk to us he wouldn’t even flinch. He’d just carry on cuddling me and stay put. Not embarrassed. Not caring what people thought. It was wild to me.

Then he gets offered a spoons breakfast and a coffee. I’m thinking “Who the fck doesn't want that, of course he’s going” but he hesitates. I say I’m not going and he tells our friend “Na mate, I’ve got food here. I’ll give this a miss.” and just rolls back over and lays with me!!!! WTF how can a boy with a hangover turn down a spoons breakfast to lay with a girl he hasn't even had sex with?! Because he didn’t even have food at mine, he was lying!

Anyway. Everyone goes to breakfast and we’re now alone in the hose. We start kissing again. He starts tickling me again but not the cute relaxing kind... the teasing, “let me touch your skin” kind. You know the difference- don’t pretend you don’t. I’m now trying my hardest to hint that I want him. I’m gasping, I’m pulling him closer, I’m clawing at his skin (that sounds weird but in a sexy way I swear! It aways works). And this is all working. We’re making out more, everything’s more passionate, his dick is rock hard which is always a good sign, and it’s just going in the direction I want it to. Then the door goes. People are back. We slowly stop kissing and just start cuddling again. He tells me I have nice lips and he likes kissing me, then sits up and pulls the cover over his lap to hide his dick. Our pal walks in with a coffee he bought for Evan, and it’s clear we’re getting up for the day. I was gutted. I lost the opportunity. He gets ready and we all chill with the group, discuss the day before and look at photos etc. Then he goes back to Brighton. It’s all over until the next time I see him, and I have no idea when that will be, and what will happen then. HERE’S WHY I NEED ADVICE

I can’t stop thinking of the twat. I’m literally obsessing over him. I can’t stop. LOOK HOW MUCH I WROTE ABOUT HIM ON A FUCKING TUMBLR POST?!

I haven’t even looked at a boy since Tyler, and now I’m obsessing over Evan. He’s so good looking and so sweet and so respectful. I don’t know what to do.

Because I don’t think I have a chance, so I need to cut this out. I can’t obsess over Evan the way I have with Tyler. But Evan is the first boy to stop me thinking about Ty. Don’t get me wrong, when I get messages from Tyler my heart still flutters, and I smile when he sends me snaps and stuff. I know there’s still something there for him and that’s not gone. But I’m thinking about Evan. A LOT. All I want to do is go to bloody Brighton to see Evan. For at least some sex. Minimum. I’m so mad we didn’t do it. I’m gutted Evan and I can’t be a thing because I think I really like him. Even if he could never be a romantic relationship, I just want him as a friend because he’s so cool.

But I’ve only met him a few times and we’ve only shared one night like this together. The relationship between Tyler and I, and Evan and I, are very very different. Yet I am obsessed with both of them.

I don’t know what to do.

What shall I do? About both guys. Help a bitch out.

#Evan #help ya girl out #long post #need advice

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miyu-hyperfixates · 6 years

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Cas and the Empty, Dean and Death, a mirrored journey

I wanted to talk about Cas in the Empty, right after 13x04, but didn’t get the occasion to write it properly before 13x05. But I’m thankful I didn’t, because while it could have stand on its own, it’s so much more complete with the event of 13x05. (A little bit like how Dean and Cas are great on their own but so awesome together ;p)

So it’s all in the tittle really, but Dean’s and Cas’s inner progression starting from 12x23 are like reversed mirrors of one another. But it’s even more obvious when you compare 13x04 and 13x05. (I’ll elaborate on that later on.) And they managed to meet at the middle point (Earth) and reach some sort of balance.

Oh speaking of balances, if you didn’t read @postmodernmulticoloredcloak‘s meta on Dean’s and Cas’s Duality and reaching balance through each other, go read it now, it’s awesome! And it’s kinda related to what I’m going to talk about now. Kinda…

Beware, long post is super long.

A comparative analysis of Dean’s and Cas’s metaphysical Journey

To be honest I hesitated a lot on what would be the best way to write it. Should I go by chronological order or by reversed parallel? Because not only is it a reverse journey chronological wise but mirrored wise too. Anyway in the end I decided that it’s better to follow the episodes order.

1. The Beginning [Season 12, 12x23]

Cas ‘started’ this journey by being “heavily influenced” by a powerful being (Jack), he was obsessed with getting a win for Dean, and for himself. And that’s an important point here, because Cas is doing it for Dean’s sake as much as for his own. So let’s not forget that while Dean and Cas are playing a major role on the other journey, ultimately, it’s an individual journey.

As for his mental state, even though he was starting to get a little bit better, he was still trying to overcome depression, fighting his feeling of worthlessness. He hadn’t lost his will to live though, he went to the fight against Lucifier, knowing that the odds weren’t good but still hoping that he’ll be able to live through it, save the world etc…

So basically Cas started at a pretty low spot.

Dean on the other hand, started with such a good head space. I mean, sure he had the threat of Lucifer and Jack over his head, but he was okay. He had Cas (sorta), his mom, Sam (even Crowley). He had faith in them, he believed that everything was going to be okay, because they were there.

2. Cas’s Death [12x23]

Cas’s desperation filled need for a win leads to nowhere and he is killed by Lucifer. Stabbed in the back.

Dean is devastated of course, shocked. He lost everything.

3. Cas’s stillness vs Dean’s rollercoaster grief [13x01, 13x02, 13x03]

All those times we saw Cas in the three first episodes of season 13, he was still, motionless, because well duh, he’s dead. But even in the Empty, he was just sleeping on the “floor”, not moving at all. When you’re in the empty, you’re basically not feeling anything because you’re in some kind of eternal sleep. (The Empty is this world’s most efficient anesthesia.)

Dean’s emotion though.... Ho boy! They were all over the place. His grief, his pain, his desperation.. like just look at his prayer to Chuck in 13x01 and you’ll know what I mean.

But he was constantly physically moving too... Like he forced himself to move on, to act... to keep hunting even though his head wasn’t in the game.

4. Cas in the empty, Dean is empty inside [13x03,13x04]

It’s quite interesting that the moment Dean admitted out loud that he couldn’t just move on from Cas’s death, that he couldn’t just forget, was the exact moment Cas transitioned from stillness to movement.

And because the both of them just couldn’t get on the same page. After the outburst, Dean shoved down his grief for Cas deep into his mind, like in some sort of void never to be mention out loud again. And even admitted at the end of 13x04 that he couldn’t believe in anything anymore.

Now I’m not going to elaborate on how Qstiel represented Cas depression, and that by fighting him, Cas basically fought and win against his own depression (that had already been metaed to death by other amazing people), I’m just going to point out what I think is relevant for this analysis.

Cas wanted to go back on Earth, to be alive, to the Winchesters. To Dean.

So basically we got a contrast between Cas who is physically (mentally? Gracely? Soulely? Whatever state that was, since Cas real ‘physical’ state, his body, is dead) in the Empty, but whose feelings are flaring, trying to reach the Winchesters on Earth, against Dean who is physically on Earth, but whose feelings for Cas are basically shove down onto a void (empty) space inside his head.

5. Dean in the Veil, Cas is alive [13x04, 13x05]

Really, guys, it’s ridiculous, can’t you both be happy, alive and well at the same freaking time? What are you the metaphysical equivalent of Romeo and Juliet?!

Cas’s metaphyical journey, ended with him losing his memories of his time in the empty. But it’s okay, because even if he resets to his 12x23 state, we, audience, know how his inner progresses went. We know that his feelings for Dean are stronger than ever. We know that Cas’ll fight his depression, that he’ll get better, that he will be okay. Maybe not now, but in the long run. Because he had believed back in the empty that it was worth coming back on Earth, despite everything.

Cas came back to Earth surrounded by flowers, and fruits and sunshine lighting his face. He was surrounded by proof of life. The only way it could have seemed even more positive was if they decided to add a bunch of little animals playing around and rainbows and unicorns...

Now, Dean...

Dean is such in a bad space right now. We already established that even though he is physically well, he is basically dead inside, and his faith is empty.

Like really his first instinct to such emergency was to kill himself to go talk to the ghosts?! How is that rational? Well maybe because Dean wanted to die, in the line of duty. Of course if he’s being attacked, he’ll defend himself half-heartily because that’s what expected of him and it might save someone, but if he died ? It doesn’t really matter.

So Dean went to the Veil, and went he met Billie he didn’t expect to come back. And he was okay with that. He didn’t came back to Life because he wanted to, he went back because he was forced to.

Dean ended his journey feeling worthless and needing a win just like Cas did in the beginning of his journey, back in season 12.

Dean came back to Life, in the dark, in the floor of a haunted house that was owned by a mad serial killer. Dean was surrounded by sign of death, which reflected his negative journey.

Okay, now that we’ve talk about how different their journey were, I want to talk about the similarities, and the fact that even in the similarities it was diametrically different.

Death

Ok so both of them died at some point of this journey, but the way they died? Completely different.

Cas was killed, stabbed in the back by an outside force. It wasn’t premeditated and outside of his control.

Dean killed himself, he intentionally stab himself with a syringe, right on the heart, on the front.

Little trip to a metaphysical dimension

Cas went to the empty. But at first he was like any other dead angels and demons. Asleep. Then he woke up and become the anomaly. He was kinda lost, not knowing what to do and sort of roaming around.

Dean went to the veil. He was the anomaly right from the start and knew exactly what to do, Dean came to the veil with a purpose.

The fact that they were both the anomaly attracted the attention of Death and Qstiel.

I think it’s kinda poetic how both of them have some Empty/Death parts in them.

Cas is physically dead (as in his body wasn’t tethered to his grace/soul anymore), he is in the empty but he is not feeling empty at all, while Dean is inwardly empty, he is in the veil, but he is technically not really dead yet.

Meet your local Celestial Entity

They both had a talk with their respective Celestial Entity, and both Billie and Qstiel saw through their mental state and confronted them with it.

Qstiel rummaged through Cas’s memories and threw back at him all his failures and his insecurities. Qstiel used Cas’s past to get at him. Billie on the other hand used Dean’s current state, his present feeling of emptiness and worthlessness.

The whole Qstiel/Cas interaction was super antagonistic, there were no deals involve, Qstiel had no intention to send Cas back at all and Cas had to super antagonistically convinced Qstiel to send him back. The Billie/Dean one wasn’t like that at all. It was super chill actually. Billie had every intention of sending Dean back from the start, that’s why she made a deal with him, she was expecting him to make her put him back. But he didn’t ask that. So she had to resurrect him whether he wanted to or not.

Back to Life

So I already mentioned before but the way Cas came to Life was shot in a very positive fashion. With the sun shining on his face, flowers and fruits all around him and all.

While Dean’s was very Death oriented. A house that had been full of ghosts, deaths. The house of a serial killer.

So to sum up. Cas wasn’t well, he died, went to the empty met the Empty and got way better, when he came back.

Dean was good, then he lost everything, died inside, lost faith, then killed himself, went to the veil, met Death, came back not feeling any better and probably worse.

So Cas had been on a uphill journey, while Dean’s was a downhill one. But it also means that Cas will go down a little, while Dean will start to go up again. And guess what, when you’re on the summit and bottom of the same hill, and if one’s goes up while the other goes down, you’ll end up meeting each other at some point.

Last time, it was different. Sure Cas was going up, while Dean was going down. But they weren’t even in the same freaking dimension. (And it was very important for them to be on two different dimension, because they weren’t supposed to learn something on their own. Cas had to have the will to live on his own. And Dean had to realize that Cas is everything .)

Now they are both alive and on Earth. And they’ll meet up at the middle ground. And then they’re going to start another journey together. Where both of them are going to climb up.

Okay it was super long, and I’m not sure it was very informative, but here you have it. (By the way, I didn’t even manage to say what I wanted to point out about Cas and the Empty in the first place... Well guess I’ll just make another post, this one is already long as it is...)

#spn #destiel #Dean and Death #Cas and the Empty #Heaven Hell Purgatory and the Empty #The veil #13x05 #13x04 #empty obsession #meta

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evenstevensranked · 7 years

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#32: Season 1, Episode 7 - “Foodzilla”

Louis convinces Ren to let him do a live news segment on the school lunch lady for the Wombat Report. Unfortunately, his inability to be serious turns the story into a fiasco -- ultimately causing the lunch lady to quit her job.

The episode opens with Louis and Ren walking home from school. He’s nagging her and asking “please?!” over and over. This is obviously setting us up to wonder what the heck he’s asking for. Side note: I love how even though I know they filmed the interior shots of the house on a set, I STILL like to think they used the real house from time to time, lol. This is another one of those instances. They’re walking out and about in the real world, up until they reach their front door. You can’t tell if they’re still outside or if they’ve captured great artificial ��natural” light. Gahhh. You can also hear legitimate sounding wind and cars driving by, which is either great sound editing or... ya know, they were actually at the house. In which case.. IT TOTALLY IS THE SAME INSIDE!

Yeah, this is definitely (probably) my wishful thinking talking tbh. The more I stare at these images the more it looks like a set with bright lights... But still.

Anyway, nerd analyzation aside... Turns out Louis desperately wants to host a segment on the premiere installment of the Wombat Report, which Ren is in charge of. He says that he could make her a comic masterpiece, which is where Ren immediately shuts any prospect down. Naturally, she absolutely will not allow it because she thinks Louis is incapable of taking anything seriously. I don’t blame her. If only she could lighten up, though.. Louis probably could’ve delivered something great, hilarious and take it seriously. I would’ve loved to see that, tbh.

Literally a million scenes/lines from this episode were used in Disney Channel promos for the show. Including “You think I need to shave my pits?” “I rest my case.” which happens around this point of the episode.

Louis heads out to the backyard, where Eileen is attempting to do Tai-Chi. The only problem is that she can’t find the right music to help her relax. Louis confides in her about the Wombat Report situation, and she tells him if he really wants to do it, the only option is to take it seriously and present Ren with a professional idea. She invites Louis to try exercising with her “Do this with me! It’s called: Golden Chicken Stands on One Leg.” Louis gives up right away and says:

So freaking good. Louis Stevens is all of us.

Eileen eventually looks though Ren’s CD collection for better relaxation tunes and chooses Limp Bizkit. Oh my god. “The Limp Biscuits. That sounds relaxing” she says. bahaha I can’t.

The next day at school, Louis tries to figure out a good idea for a story and goes to Twitty and Tawny for help at lunch. Twitty suggests that he do a behind the scenes look at his band, The Alan Twitty Project! Ahhhh! This is the first ever hint at the band arc! :D He also says that his lead singer has mono. The number one sickness mentioned on teen shows that literally no one I’ve ever known in real life has contracted. We get another one of those lines used in promos here: Louis: “You think I’m just some goofball who can’t be serious?” Twitty and Tawny: “...........yeah.”

Right about now is when Louis gets the bright idea to do his story on the school lunch lady.. played by Wendy Worthington who’s been in a zillion things you’ve probably seen. Including “Tower of Terror” -- the single most horrifying movie to ever air on Disney Channel. (Well, except for “Don’t Look Under The Bed.”) There’s a decapitated corpse and doll in the film. Just sayin.

She’s honestly really good at playing a creepy lady, I guess. Also, the little girl is Morgan from Boy Meets World... which instead of a direct parallel, you could consider a 6 degrees of separation deal between this show and BMW. I mean, that’s kinda reaching... but.

Just for the laughs, here’s me on the ride at Disney World. I was... well, terrified of it, but oddly obsessed at the same time. Also, that is my uncle laughing at me to my right.

Louis presents Ren with a rough draft of his report “The Lunch Lady: Life Behind The Hairnet” which seems extremely promising. Ren thinks so too, and allows him to do the segment. We sort of get mirror talk that night... but not really. It’s just Louis practicing various ways to act on air -- another bit used in promos.

Okay, we’ve finally reached the debut of The Wombat Report! For some reason Ren can’t correctly pronounce “Wombat Report” and says “Wombat Waport” I never understood this until I asked my mother for confirmation today. Louis refers to her as “Bawa” (a.k.a Barbara Walters) at one point, so I always assumed this was a reference to her or something... turns out my assumption was correct. I apologize for being an uncultured swine.

They start off with a “Coming up...” intro that features a character named DaNica Henderson (played by Alexis Lopez from The Luck Of the Irish, whose sister is Bianca Lopez a.k.a Mandy “Always Gets Her Man” Sanchez! Holy crap!) To quote Season 3 Louis:

DaNica says “Ever wonder what happens to the fines you pay on overdue library books? I have a shocking report.” And the camera zooms out to reveal a fancy sports car in the librarian’s parking spot:

Like, wth?! lol. Imagine if the librarian saved up enough piddly overdue fines to buy a freaking lambo or something?! omg. What’s funnier is that I’m picturing the stereotypical, old lady librarian driving around in that car.

They segue to a sports report by the underused Artie Ryan. Yesssss. He’s interviewing Twitty about a recent basketball game. This scene cuts to Louis, who’s on next, telling Tom (who of course is the AV guy/cameraman) that he’s just gonna wing the interview with the lunch lady. Not good. When it cuts back to Artie’s segment, we get another one of those backends to a random sentence from Twitty: “...Let’s just say it’s the last time I played without a cup.” Oh my god. Chill, Disney. Twitty takes this on-air opportunity to say that his band is looking for a bassist. Artie leans in like “Hey! I play bass!” lol. This is so great because Artie goes on to join The Alan Twitty Project/Twitty-Stevens Connection! Again, very cool to see the band arc starting to form. Gotta love solid continuity.

It’s time for Louis’ report and, well... this is just one of those absolutely iconic scenes ya gotta embed:

youtube

“It’s FOODZILLA! Tokyo is dooooomed!” (At least, I think that’s what he’s saying.)

..........as you can see, Louis started off his live-streamed interview sort of okay? And then it all just went down in flames pretty quickly. Only Louis Stevens could take an interview from a simple question, to a full out food war between the news crew and the Lunch Lady. It’s actually pretty hilarious, but you just cannot help but cringe at the fact Louis f’d up… again -- Much like his meltdown in Wild Child. But, I’m ranking this disaster higher because I find it less horrible than tarnishing the name of his own family and jeopardizing Eileen’s campaign on television. It’s a lil less cringy than that, which makes it funnier. I love how he shouts “MAN DOWN! I’ll try to get’cha out! I’ll try to get’cha!” as if they’re literally at war, which is too much lol.. and also predicted Shia’s future...? (Again, I’m reaching, but STILL.) That ending shot scene of Ren fuming with anger was also used for promos. Actually, you can just check out this promo video I posted recently to see every moment I’ve mentioned so far and then some.

To Ren’s surprise, everyone (including Principal Wexler for whatever reason) loved Louis’ segment and thought it was hilarious. DaNica refers to it as “phat” which definitely dates the show, lol. Just like that, Ren switches gears and tells Louis to prepare another segment. Wow. Unfortunately, at lunch that day.. all the kids start taunting the lunch lady by screaming “FOODZILLA!” at her. This one kid was the first one to shout it, and I always thought he was Khleo Thomas (Zero from Holes) lol:

The lunch lady is obviously mortified and runs away into the kitchen. :( Louis and Ren feel incredibly remorseful. When they get home from school, they tell Eileen everything and she forces them to go to the lunch lady’s house and apologize. (This is also the “You are a horrible little person” bit. As seen in that darn promo I linked.)

They go to her house later that night, and she reluctantly invites them in. We learn that her name is Elsa Schotz, and she “shows them who she really is” by yodeling for them. I don’t know how that’s supposed to reveal her true colors, but ok. We find out that she came over on a boat from Europe to become a professional yodeler, but sadly no one cares about yodeling in America — which is most definitely extremely factual. Have you ever heard a Top 40 yodeling hit? Honestly, why would ANYONE travel to America of all countries to pursue a yodeling career? She was already in Europe! That seems like something you’d go to Germany or Switzerland for??? I feel like this is a career endeavor you’d research where it’s most lucrative before moving to another country? Anyway, once she found out that yodeling work literally does not exist in the US, she started cooking at the school for money. But, now she’s depressed because she’s being made fun of.

This information somehow leads to Louis and Ren giving her a makeover??? I never realized it before, but that almost makes no sense? The kids at school weren’t making fun of her for the way she looks, but rather, because of her crazy outburst. I’d be so insulted and confused if I were Elsa. Is the makeover just a way to... somehow distract from the Foodzilla thing? Idk. She forgives them in the end though and her new-look gives her a confidence boost.

Where’d they get that outfit? Did she just happen to have something snazzy like that in the back of her closet? or did they seriously glamify her uniform?

They were pumped for the kids at school to see the “new and improved” Elsa Schotz, but she doesn’t show up the next day. Turns out she struck up a relationship with the school janitor and they eloped to Las Vegas to get married. Still a better love story than Twilight.

And that’s pretty much it! The short return after the last commercial break is Louis yodeling for Eileen while she does her Tai-Chi.

This episode remains super memorable. Probably because how many freaking scenes they used on commercials! It also aired a lot as well. Like, wow. But other than the actual Foodzilla scene, the rest of the episode is just a little bland and slightly random at times haha. It’s still good though. It’s nice to see Louis and Ren work together to help Elsa in the end.

Thoughts?

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#rank #even stevens #louis stevens #shia labeouf #disney channel #old disney #nostalgia #old school disney #ren stevens #christy carlson romano #wendy worthington #foodzilla #season 1 #band arc #the twitty stevens connection #the alan twitty project #artie ryan

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archcr-a · 5 years

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multiples of five for that character development thing

character development. ¬ accepting.@rebelpuff

005. Are they in good health?his disability aside, generally yes. Clint is at peak physical condition for a man his age and built, even with the occasional fastfood splurge and a beer or two to go with it. he neither smokes, nor drinks excessively, he exercises daily for several hours, and unlike canon likes to sell us, he does eat healthy and regularly actually. otherwise he wouldn’t be able to do what he does. granted, he could kick the coffee drinking habit a little, but as long as that’s the only vice

010. Do they believe in love at first sight?no. he believes in attraction at first sight naturally, but love is something that develops over time, and in his case even rarely. Clint also happens to believe that once you love someone you never really stop again, which makes it impossible for him to say goodbye to past relationships for good, always keeping in touch with exes who truly meant something to him.

015. Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue?both, generally. it depends on the person he’s fighting. he’d rarely go against someone he cares for or considers a friend with his fists, but he won’t ever shy away from verbal confrontation when he feels he’s been wronged in some way. considering his “job” however, Clint naturally also knows how to throw a punch and has been known to do that without warning, too. also, don’t be fooled by him using range weapons primarily. he can mop the floor with pretty much anybody in a melee fight just as easily.

020. What are their hobbies?he doesn’t really have any. sleeping in, if that can be considered a hobby. he enjoys being sociable too, making friends easily, and hanging out. Clint has a fundamental problem with loneliness, and is all too happy to force his presence on others if he has to. other than that his days are mostly training, training some more, eating a whole lot, and sleeping.

025. What do they consider beautiful in others personality-wise?honesty, a good, solid sense of humor, and a no-shit attitude. someone who is unapologetically themselves is a person Clint is entirely drawn to, and will very quickly feel very smitten about. a person’s insecurities only count as part of the package for him, and if emotional honesty is displayed Clint is heart-eyes in an instant.

030. Do they believe in the afterlife?he’s seen so many varying versions of afterlives, ranging from parallel universes to bleak, plain nothing that he’s not sure what to believe in anymore. he believes there is something following death but what it is exactly, he cannot say. it seems to vary and differ, depend on the way of how you die, where, when, thanks to whom etc. what he, by now, does definitely believe however is that death doesn’t necessarily have to be final.

035. What is the most important rule your character lives by?treat others the way you want to be treated. Clint is entirely honest and direct in his approach of other people, and he expects to be treated the same way. he’s fully aware that that expectation won’t be met 99% of the time, especially not in his field of work, but that doesn’t change his own personal approach. he thus can seem a little rough around the edges for the softer souls of the world, but in truth he’s a softie with a heart of gold.

040. What is their obsession?keeping up. Clint is terrified of the notion of slacking and falling behind, and not being able to keep up with his superpowered friends is his worst nightmare. he will train until he vomits, eight, ten hours a day, always reaching the next level, amping up his personal maximum. he pushes himself far beyond his own limits, because if he fails, he’ll not be good enough for his team. if he can’t keep up, after all he’s just another guy with a bow and arrow.

045. Does your character have any chronic medical conditions?he is deaf in both ears after excessive trauma to the head and his ear canals as a child. considering that he’s had a few years to adjust however, he handles his disability exceptionally well, to a point where most people who don’t know him won’t ever know he can’t hear.

050. How does your character feel about their own mortality?it doesn’t scare him as much as he thinks it should. with the universe getting increasingly fucked up and a billion new possibilities popping up of what happens after death and if death, after all, may only be temporary, Clint has almost happily accepted his own mortality. he’s always been more or less reckless with his own life anyways, throwing himself into situations that other people might consider suicidal. Clint doesn’t want to die, however. he simply believes that if he did, he’d want it to be for a good reason.

055. Is your character an introvert or an extrovert?an extrovert as they come. solitude and silence freak him out, so he constantly seeks company, and charges best when he’s around other people. he doesn’t necessarily have to be the center of attention at all, but he needs people around himself to feel fully comfortable, no matter if it’s a party, a chill evening watching TV, or just a busy café during rush hour.

060. What is your character’s attitude toward education and learning?considering that Clint dropped out of school and joined the carny instead, I’m tempted to say he doesn’t care much. he admires people who are obviously brilliant and smarter than him, but it’s not a kind of achievement he believes people ultimately need to be happy or successful in life. he does however believe that one never stops to learn, and that life is the best teacher there is. school is a necessity along the way, so long as a person develops the right kind of street-smarts to make it through life.

065. Is your character better at leading or following? Which do they prefer?he’s equally good at both, actually. truth be told, he had to learn how to follow, simply because the majority of authority figures he’s ever encountered in his life were ridiculous airheads, and Clint’s entire nature screams for confrontation, but once he meets a person that truly impresses him, he is all too happy to follow. Nick Fury and Steve Rogers would be prime examples of such a person. he loves the independence of being a leader, but at the same time hates the responsibility that comes with it.

070. What about your character is cowardly?the side responsible for maintaining romantic relationships. sooner or later Clint will get cold feet and start finding excuses as to why a relationship cannot work, sabotaging himself in the process. it’s not a conscious thing, his mind just naturally seems to pour more disaster energy into his actions until his partner eventually has had enough and ends it.

075. Is your character ticklish?generally yes, but he’s one of those people who can focus so well, he can ignore being tickled. unless you try tickling his feet. expect a solid kick to the face then, though.

080. How easy is it for others to read your character’s emotions?very easy, since he barely bothers to hide them. Clint is an open book when it comes to his emotions, and he sees no reason to change that. even if he tried, he’s not very good at hiding how he feels, proving himself to be a pretty terrible liar most of the time.

085. Describe your character in three words.loyal. honest. forgiving.

090. How bodily expressive is your character?it varies and ranges on the topic of conversation and the overall mood of the day. Clint can talk with hands and feet, but can also stand still with his arms folded through entire conversations. there’s no clear set frequency to his physical expressions.

095. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to do.a full english breakfast. recite pi to the 30th digit. throw the shield with equal precision as Steve.

100. Does your character dream? If so, what do they dream about?he does, and his dreams are entirely random. few are based on any real life occurrences however, at least not as far as Clint can recall. he tends to forget his dreams immediately when he wakes up, but they can range from something weird happening in line at starbucks to him being chased or failing or facing an alien invasion without any pants on.

#rebelpuff #¬ no they don't speak our language. they say we're too savage yeah. no no. we don't give a f**k anymore. [ answered ]#¬ i'll do whatever it takes. cause i love the adrenaline in my veins. [ headcanon ]#(that had to go under a read more).#(phew).#(thanks for sending this in!).

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whereintheworldisclairerans-blog · 7 years

Text

Heyyyyyyyy

WOW Sorry it’s been so long you guys! I’m currently sitting in my now 100% furnished and decorated apartment in Madrid, listening to the numerous buses and people talking to each other in the street in Spanish and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve been here a little more than a week now and it’s starting to feel like I’m here to stay. Just in time for me to leave again! Ha. We’ll get there though. So very much catching up to do, I don’t even know where to begin. Probably where I left off would be good, would’t it? That would be... Hamburg? I think so.

Our direct train did, in fact, end up being a direct train *hooray*. Jordan and I were both extremely productive and sketched a plan for my apartment (which ended up being pretty accurate) and wrote out goals, aspirations, etc. After waiting outside of our AirBnb for a while because we didn’t know which doorbell to ring, we found ourselves living in the land of luxury with a.... wait for it.... KING SIZE BED. After sharing full size beds (and/or mattress on the floor or just straight up floor) for the month, it was pretty exciting to starfish out and each have plenty of room. We made our typical dinner of pasta and wine and each hung out on our respective social medias, got caught up on emails, etc. We woke up around noon the next day and decided to treat ourselves to brunch. Jordan, being the TripAdvisor master of the trip, found us the perfect little place that was a brunch BUFFET. I honestly don’t know why more brunch places at home aren’t like that. You pay for the plate and a drink and then you just pick whatever you want. You can eat and eat and eat and ITS AMAZING. After stuffing ourselves to the brim, we decided to walk it off and spent the day rambling through the city center. It was lovely because Hamburg reminded us both remarkably of Denver, just with a lot more water. There was very similar architecture and the general vibe just felt like home. It was simultaneously comforting and a little bit heartbreaking, given that I don’t know when I will be home next. *cries a little* We decided to go shopping for some warmer layers, and I mooned over a backpack in an outdoors store. Which, despite the best efforts of the salesman, I did not end up buying. We ended the afternoon in yet another gorgeous park with warm chocolate and banana crepes before walking the three miles back to our AirBnb. That night, we decided to double check the check-in time of our reservation for Berlin, hoping that we could go into the city earlier to make the most out of our time there. And it was then that we had our first and only issue with any booking or accommodation. The AirBnb host in Berlin had canceled our reservation the day after we booked it (several weeks earlier) and we were never notified. So in a scramble, we had to book another one, that ended up being way farther outside of the city and nearly twice the cost. (AirBnb has compensated me a little, but to say it was inconvenient would be an understatement). We couldn’t check into Berlin until 4pm, so we decided to hit the brunch place again the next morning and properly stuffed ourselves before getting on the train.

And what a train ride it was. German trains are such a joke. We had become quite the pros at arriving on time, finding seats together and getting settled before departure. This time, however, the train just continued to sit there and sit there. We didn’t care, we had music and seats and that was all that mattered. Until everyone started to leave the train. We rolled our eyes, cringed and prepared for another travel day like the one from Zurich to Cologne. Luckily though, we asked the people next to us what was going on. They explained that the train route had been changed and that it was no longer going to the Berlin Central Station, but to the West Station. If we wanted to, we could run with the other 500000 people to catch a train leaving in 5 minutes, or we could stay on this one and arrive slightly later. SURPRISE we stayed on the nearly empty train, which ended up going to the central station anyways. Suckers. We did, however, get in much later than we had anticipated and we had booked tickets to this film festival that one of Jordan’s favorite bands did the score for. So we hustled to the AirBnb, dropped all of our stuff and then immediately left again to the complete opposite side of town. We followed the hipsters from the train, to the bus, to this cool set of warehouses, where we arrived half an hour late but nothing had started yet. Beers and popcorn in hand, we chatted with a super nice Spanish girl for a while before taking our seats to watch the movies. The theme for the night was on politics, with a specific focus on the nuclear bomb, so the first movie was Dr. Strangelove and the second was a documentary called The Bomb. 10/10 would recommend seeing both. It was very powerful and a cool experience. The next day was the day we had been waiting for the whole trip, the only thing that we had booked before we left, the Moderat concert! It ended up being Jordan’s big hipster day out, that started with her getting a tattoo, then some kombucha (and a coffee for me) and then we walked around the East Side Gallery (art that was done along the wall in the 90s), before heading home to get ready for the show. We had originally planned to get there early, but you all know how that goes... So we ended up arriving with the massive hoards of people getting off the train, then casually walking through a forest to get to the venue, where we promptly stood in line for two hours waiting to get in. We completely missed the opening band, and the first few songs of Moderat’s set, but it was worth it once we were in. We were able to make our way down to the front of the massive venue and danced our asses off. And then we got a snack before the looooooong trek home, where we literally squeezed into the metro with thousands of other people (where I met a very nice Spanish woman) and then onto a bus, and then a long walk back to the apartment. It didn’t matter though because we were both in incredibly good moods and it felt like we were in 7th grade again, dancing in the street and obsessing over how good the show was.

The next day was our “historical Berlin” day, where we saw more of the wall, learned about the failed and successful escape attempts, and what life was like on the East side. From there we went to a museum called “Topography of Terror” which was quite frankly the most depressing and terrifying thing we did our whole trip and maybe in my whole life. Without getting too into it, it was a museum about how Hitler came into power, and a very thorough documentation of what he did with it. The scary part, though, was in how many parallels there were in 1930s-40s Germany and 2017 in America. Food for thought. To get ourselves even more depressed, we went to the Memorial for the Murdered Jews of Europe, which was hauntingly beautiful. Our spirits were lifted though hearing the peals of laughter coming from the small children to whom the giants stones were nothing more than a playground, something for them to play “hide and go seek” behind. We decided to treat ourselves to Asian food for dinner, and went to this beautiful restaurant, that was full of upper middle class couples and playing rather explicit rap. It was an interesting evening. Our last day in Berlin was a pretty mellow one, traveling for a month was catching up to us and we spent the day chilling in a park and in a cute little coffee shop. That night we made ourselves our last plates of pasta and wine and binged Grace and Frankie.

AND THEN WE WERE OFF TO MADRID! A 4 hour flight and 3 metro trains later we arrived at MY APARTMENT! I cannot even begin to describe the relief that I felt at realizing that it was a real place, I hadn’t been scammed and that I really did have a place to live for the next few months. Jordan really didn’t feel well, so I left her sleeping and spent the day getting the immediate things we needed (AKA sheets and my credit card) and signing my lease. We ordered pizza to properly break in the apartment, and though it was rather loud that night in the apartment, definitely a wake up call to the fact that I voluntarily chose to live in international student housing, it has since gotten much better. The next day was the second day that we had been waiting for the entire trip - IKEA DAY! We took a half an hour long metro ride and then a 15 minute walk and loaded me up with (almost) everything I needed. It was a hilariously exhausting trip back, but we managed to carry everything that we bought in our hands, trekked back to the metro and then to my apartment. I am the kind of mover that likes to get everything done in one day, so I dragged Jordan out again and we had the BEST TIME. All that we had left to buy were hardware (screwdriver, fan, etc) and home goods (laundry detergent, trash bags), so we did some google mapping until we found what we thought was the perfect place. And then it was closed. Dejected, exhausted and done for the day, we started to make our way back home. We had passed this little store selling coffee makers and specialty coffee, and Jordan recommended that we stop in, knowing how much I need my morning fix. The guy who helped us was unbelievably friendly, and pointed us in the direction of a store two blocks away that would have everything else we needed. We went there next, to be helped by two more incredibly nice guys and got EVERYTHING. Arms full of shopping bags, we went to pick up some takeout for dinner and I realized that I had forgotten the one thing that I actually really needed, trash bags. I left Jordan with all the stuff, ran back into the shop to grab some and realized I didn’t have any cash. The machine could only do credit card transactions over $5, so the guy just let me take them and told me to just pay him tomorrow. Can you believe that?? I love this place.

The next day, after a few more shopping adventures, we decided to tourist around a little. First stopping at Atocha (the train station) to pick up our train tickets for Barcelona the next day, then going to el Retiro (park) and around downtown to get back home. We tried to get to bed early that night because our train left at 8am the next day, but naturally only slept for about 4 hours. We dragged ourselves out of bed, managed to make it to the train station on time, and 2.5 hours later we were in Barcelona! It was incredible to be back in the city that originally made me fall in love with Spain and we headed directly for the beach, where we spent the whole day listening to the familiar anthem of “Cervezaaaaaa beer agua waaaaaater cervezaaaaa sangriaaaa.” Jordan was not a fan, but I felt completely at home. It alternated between being sunny and cloudy all day, which made it the perfect temperature for swimming and laying. I was thrilled. It was dinnertime before I knew it, and we treated ourselves to a Menu del Dia, where Jordan had her first paella, patatas bravas and crema catalana. We were so relaxed that we nearly missed our last train, but we did in fact make it back to the apartment nearly 18 hours after left. We slept hard that night, and then it was Jordan’s last day. We spent our last few hours together relaxing, packed up her things, went to the store, and then had one last dinner and gelato. I went with her to the airport, and we sat together and looked at photos to kill time before we parted ways. I fought back tears the entire way home and then was greeted by all the roommates heading up to the terrace for a free drink. I decided to join them to try to be social, but wasn’t really in the mood and after a polite amount of time went back to bed.

I’ve spent the past couple days on my own running errands and getting settled in. I went for my first run around el Retiro, caught a gorgeous sunset along Gran Via, opened a bank account, joined a gym and am basically 100% settled in. I have a few more things to get done today, and then tomorrow I’m to Sweden for the weekend to visit Hanna! I can’t believe it, I got to see her just a few months ago in Colorado and now again! WOOO Europe is the best.

I’ll be there until Sunday, and then will spend next week doing more exploring of Madrid and maybe taking an overnight trip somewhere (since I have two travel days left on the Eurail pass whooo whooo). I’ll try to do better keeping you all posted!

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