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SnK Chapter 126 Poll Results

The chapter 126 poll closed with 1,647 responses. Thank you for your support! This month’s poll results were compiled by @shifter-lines , /u/alooulla, /u/_Puppet_, @manerein and @momtaku.

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,514 responses

“Rate the Chapter” is a genuine bell curve this month instead of having its more typical overwhelmingly positive skew. While not terrible by any means, the response to chapter 126 was the most lukewarm since chapter 107, and it was the second worse performing chapter since we started the poll.

(Kazoo Avengers theme)

By far, this was the chapter I enjoyed the least, I just hope that the ending feels realistic

Definitely fast paced, but definitely needed to finally kick things into high gear. The Calm Before The Storm…

it was pretty disappointing by aot standards, but the last 15 chapters were amazing, so what am i even complaining for.... i just hope that isayama can write a decent ending.

I feel like this is either one of those chapters that will be more rewarding in hindsight when we have more info or was just straight up moving forward so we can get to the good stuff faster and we will have to suck it up and move on. All in all I think it was a good chapter even if a little rushed.

Easily the worst chapter in years due to the fast pacing, convenient plot developments and cliche and very cheesy and cringey ending page quote.

In the anime they could make a whole episode out this single chapter instead of using two chapters to make a single episode

ISAYAMA GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!! THE SAUNA AINT RUNNING AWAY FROM YOU

Haha pie

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,519 responses

After nearly a year of absence Levi and Hange were finally back in the story so it’s no surprise that “Everything with Levi and Hange” topped the list of favorite moments with 22.1%. “Avengers Assemble” was a distant second with 10.6%. Confirmation that Levi was alive came in third (10.2%).

ONYANKOPON CALLYING JAEGERISTS A BUNCH OF CHAUVINISTS

Pieck and Hange teaming up? Eren better watch out because those two together are gonna KICK SOME ASS!

Hange needs so much more appreciation, she is such a good person. I hope she and Levi both survive this shit.

I loved everything that happened, it just desperately needs some more detail filled in.

I loved Levi and Hange interactions

Annie eating pie is just perfect

It was so good to see Levi and Hanji again and together. They suffered so much, i need an end where they both survive and can have a restful retirement

Glad to see that Connie is still a good guy. Also that he is trying his best becouse of his Mother.

But what Pieck Pieck? The greatest tragedy is that Isayama took that from us, y'know not that Eren is destroying the world or something...

I really loved to see Armin and Annie together!

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,507 responses

Talk about polarity. “Avengers Assemble” may have been the second most popular “Favorite Moment” but it was also the landslide winner for “Least Favorite” with nearly 22% of the fandom selected it as the worst moment of the chapter. “Floch’s Speech” (13.8%) and “The Ragako Subplot” (13.5%) rounded out the top 3.

everyone called them the avengers but lets get real they are a fuckin Suicide Squad

Why are we wasting time on Louise

Avengers Lowcost version

Didn't understand Magath reasons to join forces with his enemys. It felt like some story in between was missing.

Can I just say I hate what Isayama did with Connie's character? I've never seen a character as bipolar in his development

Floch was the only good part....

WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 1,503 responses

Hange (23%), Jean (16.2%) and Armin (13.4%) were our top three favorite characters this month. It needs to be said that “Pie” came in at number four with nearly 10% of the fandom selecting it.

it WAS nice to see characters choosing to be their best selves for the sake of others. For that reason, it was difficult to pick an MVP -- but I gave it to Onyankopon because he crystallized so eloquently exactly what I had been thinking since Eren started the Rumbling.

Levi and hange tho

So much Erwin nods! Yesss <333

Still love my boy Jean!

Some characters are still acting consistent: Jean, Magath, Levi (still not over killing the BT and that's good), Onyankopon and Floch.

Connies growth, Jean's motivation, I'm glad these boys are reclaiming their almost-lost humanity!

Levi. That is all.

Oh, also, I want pie.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE HANGE AND LEVI CAMPSITE MOMENT? 1,494 responses

“Hange suggesting that they live in the woods together” (27.2%) was the favorite campsite moment, followed by “Levi’s words upon waking up” (23.3%). “Hange sniping while shedding a tear” was third (19.6%))

I'm giving this 5/5 solely for Yams finally feeding the LeviHan shippers some good fucking food after so long.

I ship Levi and Hange. It's so cute when Hange realized that Levi was listening to her/him while pretending to sleep.

Shirtless Levi round two! Wit, you better do the job correctly this time!

We need a Historia chapter but it’s great to see Hange and Levi being back.

PIECK… FINGER? 1,492 responses

Pieck Finger. Pieck Finger everybody. You know how a common response to trauma or awkwardness is humor? Well 42.6% of you are primarily concerned with how “Pieck Finger” will be memed. 24.7% of you accept the trauma and say you wish she would’ve just stayed “Pieck”, and 20.6% of you are glad she has a last name, but did it really have to end like this? 6.5% of you think it’s a “cool and realistic last name”, and I think you guys scare me more than the people who vote “Snapchat” on the last question every month. More on that later.

"pekfinger" is swedish for "pointer finger" too. oh lord

Back when Pieck was supposed to be a dude, the working name was "Oliver Pieck", at least from what I read on the AoT wiki. I feel like Isayama could have just switched the first and last name around to make it "Pieck Oliver." That would've sounded far less weird.

I know a guy named Buck Ramming. Pieck Finger is fine by me lol

It's an instruction not a name.

Levi sure could use a couple of Piecks right about now heyoooooo

the fact that she got the worst titan and now also the worst name it’s so funny

What kind of a first name is Pieck?

AS PREDICTED, CONNIE’S ROADTRIP WITH FALCO ENDED AMICABLY. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF IT? 1,498 responses

The Ragako subplot did little for the readers with nearly one-third of the fandom calling it a complete waste of time. The majority (46.2%) were slightly more charitable selecting “It was ok. I’m glad it wrapped up quickly”. Only 17.5% loved the moment. The write-ins were pretty damning.

Good plotpoint, really bad execution

I cringed the whole time.

I liked the outcome, but it was handled too quickly

A complete waste of time: Connie's arc? Sharted over. The consequences about Falco? Sharted over. Possibility to exploit serumbowl or Ymir's memories? Glossed over.

All of this made no sense and it was solved so quickly it seemed unrealistic. YAMS WE NEED PROPER CLOSURE PLS DON'T WASTE MORE INK

Connie changed his mind a bit too quickly, but it was good nevertheless

Connie deserved better writing.

Felt too shallow for how quick it sprung up, needed more development. As it is now, it could've just not happened

I'm glad that Connie hasn't died yet because I appreciate him, but there's been wasted potential. Ymir's memories and Porco and Colt's deaths have been reduced to a single vignette where we can only speculate and write fics.

Missed opportunity to actually develop Connie's character. We didn't learn anything we didn't already know about Connie.

This feels like what the anime did to the Uprising Arc. It happened way too fast and honestly felt like Isayama was just checking it off a list, so to say. Which is honeslty a bit uncharactieristic of his writing. I really hope this doesn't start, or continue, a trend...

WHICH DENTAL HYGIENE MOMENT DID YOU ENJOY MORE? 1,494 responses

Before I talk about the numbers, I just want to shout out the one guy who responded “Other” and just said “why”. Anyway, a solid majority of you guys’ favorite dental hygiene moment was Hange asking Pieck rude lady questions, which frankly sounds much worse than it actually is. The next most common answer, getting just over 25% of the votes, was Connie’s Master Plan™, followed by “Both”, followed by “Neither!” I still like the guy who just said “why”.

I didn't mind it, but I heard that Isayama did this so he could get a toothbrush merch campaign going lol

Isayama has a teeth fetish confirmed

Holy Fuck what was Connies face doing when he was talking about titan teeth brushing.

Why, just why

Pie

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HOW MIKASA ACTED TOWARDS LOUISE? 1,457 responses

The fandom is almost evenly divided over Mikasa’s actions towards Louise. By the narrowest of margins, Mikasa’s compassionate nature took the majority (26.8%). The other extreme, “Mikasa should’ve sucked it up and let the girl be happy”, was second with 26.2%. A quarter of the fandom instead chose to focus on Louise. “Louise was crazy and deserves the cold shoulder” was third (23.9%).

It's not surprising that Mikasa ran out of f*cks to give. There are only so many lives she can value, and right now she doesn't have the time to spare, or room in her heart.

I don't think Mikasa had any responsibility there, and the scarf is hers. Given its significance, and that she owes Louise nothing, it seemed like the moment was morally neutral.

I really didn't care. Louise is barely a character, and Mikasa had no duty to be nice to a person who enabled and supported a bloody coup just because she saved her life once.

I don’t blame Mikasa. I don’t like and want to spend time with my stalkers either

I felt bad for Louise. She’s dying, let her think you care about her, Mikasa

I felt like Louise is completely obsessional but Mikasa is just as much. To me these kinds of moments show that Mikasa has completely lost it recently

I'm concerned about what this says for Mikasa's character development thus far, and I felt kind of bad for Louise

I'm sick of the scarf back and forth

It actually seems quite obvious to me that Mikasa pitied the poor girl, but there was nothing she could have done for her. Because she simply lacks the time necessary to care for Luise, or change her mind or make sure that she's ok.

That this is about Mikasa’s compassion or lack thereof I think says more about how we feel women should feel. I think it was fine, she barely knows Louise and there is a lot more going on. Louise is a grown woman that made her own decisions.

the most interesting part about it is that Eren asked Louise to throw the scarf away. that's it.

Mikasa already did a good gesture by visiting Louise, no one would ask Jean to do the same with Floch, so I don't see the big deal. Both cases are "protagonist sees themselves in antagonist, and realise how they mustn't become like them".

WHY DID MIKASA DECIDE TO TAKE HER SCARF BACK? 1,482 responses

“Mikasa wants it back for other reasons” was the selection of nearly half of respondents, since “wearing it” and vague malice towards Louise were the other two options.

Eren wants her to throw it away, so she's making her own decision and going against his wishes on purpose.

I don’t know if she’ll wear it again, but it’s always been her scarf and she’ll decide it’s fate when she’s ready

I think she wants to give it back to Eren.

It's still important to her. She may let go of Eren but the scarf is always gonna be there to remind her of what was and the family she once had.

It’s just simply that it’s hard to throw away a possession you held dear for most of your life. It’d be more out of character for her to throw it away. I don’t think she ever planned on abandoning the scarf—setting it aside was rather Isayama’s way of showing Mikasa’s conflicted thoughts on her relationship with Eren.

Ultimately, Mikasa's the authority on the scarf and it's emotional weight, while Louise was trying to squeeze her own meaning out of it. It wasn't Louise's place to do so, and it wasn't her scarf to take. Whatever is to be done with it, to see it used again, given to someone else, or see it thrown out or destroyed, is a choice only the scarf's real owner, Mikasa, should make.

THEY FOUND ANNIE BY SITTING NEXT TO HER WHILE SHE WAS EATING PIE, THOUGHTS? 1,497 responses

The reunion with Annie was another chapter moment that fell flat for the majority with only 21.8% expressing approval with it. The majority (31.8%) thought it would’ve been ok if there was more time for conversation and reaction and 22% were primarily bothered by the coincidence involved in the reunion. The remaining 20% found the lazy writing unforgivable.

*sigh*

There was way too much build up just to have it end in a gag. It was cute, but it... just doesn't work?

Are you telling me that every time you talk about Robert Downey Jr. he doesn't just appear right next to you?

Humor was not appropriate in this situation

I fucking loved it

I think it's lazy writing but it made me laugh pretty hard so I'll give it a pass

It was a funny moment but definitely not how I had imagined nor hoped Armin/Annie's reunion would happen

Sitting together like nothing happened before and eat and laugh… are you serious?!! It’s not funny

SNK has always had funny moments like this woven into it, especially when the 104th were still trainee's, and it's nice to see a tonal flashback to the past like this.

Stranger things have happened. Floch's hair, for example.

WHAT SORT OF PIES DO YOU THINK THEY WERE EATING? 1,469 responses

Fruit. Definitely fruit.

...

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

What's the point of this question?? I'm confused

What the fuck is a meat pie?

We're missing PIEces of the puzzle still

WHAT PIE WOULD YOU SCARF DOWN THAT FAST IF YOU WERE ANNIE? 1,459 responses

Apple (23.9%), and chocolate (16.2%) are our favorite pies, with Meat and “I don’t like pie” tying for third (11.4%). Several respondents were rather vocal about this even being asked. To them I say Isayama is the one who started this :P

Apricot, you American heathens

Duh. Pineapple of course

I'd be more worried about getting home to my dad before he's crushed by a psycho

Marleyan organ pie made by the Usurper Chad himself!

nectarine pie.... you should try it

Rhubarb pie. Best Pie Ever.

Sweet Potato Pie!

There are so many interesting questions you could have asked in this poll yet didn't, but you're asking about pie? (A/N: There are so many interesting things Isayama could have drawn in this chapter yet didn't, but he's drawing about pie? )

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT HITCH BEING LEFT BEHIND? 1,479 responses

While the majority thought it was a good way to write her out (36.3%), there was plenty of disappointment (26.2%) and many who thought it could’ve been handled better (16.6%). A segment of the fandom (18.5%) thinks she’ll be back since there is more she has yet to do.

Perfect. She is always left behind throughout the series. The continuation of this makes sense.

Does the lack of Hitch means the lack of pies? Because this is unacceptable.

Glad that she'll survive probably, but she was such an interesting character

Annie and Hitch were my new otp, so just sad feels

Hitch is safe from now on. Ok for me.

I felt so sorry for her, because Annie's disappearance reminded me a bit of Hitch's relationship with Marlowe. Once more it seemed like the Survey Corps was taking someone precious away from her, off to an unknown and risky fate

I never had pie so Idk.

WERE YOU WORRIED THAT JEAN WOULD JOIN THE JAEGERISTS? 1,480 responses

For this question, 21.5% of you were a little nervous that Jean might join the Jaegerists, but a much more significant 69.2% understood the implied fact that the Jaegerists only accept humans, and Jean is a horse, and therefore there was never any threat of him allying with them. You’d think that with like four hundred years of this series being out, I’d think of a better way to make that joke, but here we are. Anyway, the last 9.3% of you think Jean would do more to help Paradis if he joined the Ab Church, which is an excellent parallel to the Wall Church in the beginning of the series, I might add.

I still wish more time was given to the subplots such as more time to stew on Jean joining the Yaegarists

LAST MONTH 75% OF THE FANDOM THOUGHT JEAN WOULD BE THE PERSON TO TAKE DOWN FLOCH. DO YOU STILL THINK THE HAIRBOWL WILL HAPPEN? 1,463 responses

Remaining in the strong majority, 72.6% of you guys think there will be some sort of confrontation between Jean and Floch, though whether that means you think Jean will be the person to “take down” Floch or not is beyond me. I don’t know. I didn’t write this question, I’m just writing the blurb for it.

I'm still betting on Floch shooting Jean in the head as a punishment for not going along with the flow

take down Floch please!!!! ..

FINAL WORDS. WHO DID IT BETTER? 1,479 responses

With 43% of the vote, Onyankopon’s... several... words? beat out Yelena’s strong and (mostly) silent type response (which got 33.1% of the vote, by the way) at their “execution''. 23.9% of respondents said “Both”, and while technically “both” couldn’t have done it “better”, I’ll let it slide, because they were both pretty cool, and semantics don’t matter.

Best boy was Onyankopon. We only used to get glimpses of him and finally he has rebelled, showing that he has more guts than some of our main characters.

JEAN AND HANGE’S PLAN TO ESCAPE SHIGANSHINA HAPPENED OFFSCREEN. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT? 1,473 responses

Three-fourths of the fandom expressed some disapproval of how the offscreen planning of the escape from Shinganshina went down calling it sloppy(18.1%) and confusing (13.9%). Of those, the majority (39%) will be ok with it if a future chapter provides more details. Only a quarter of the fandom completely loved the handling of this.

Even if flashbacks fill the gaps later, they won't make 126 a better chapter.

How did they even communicate? I thought it was all planned between Jean and Mikasa

on the page with the titans marching at night, you can see a figure standing outside jean's window. could be hange coming to discuss plans

I liked it, but I think I like it even more if it's explained in the next chapter(s).

I think he did it that way to add surprise. I feel like lately he has been in general illustrating with a more cinematic eye and by writing the scene this way it will play better in visual media. Lately I feel like he has been thinking this way, it’s been a trend for a while now.

This is why you shouldn't cram up 3 chapters worth of content into one. I don't care if Isayama has to end his volume on some goddamn awful page. You don't mess with certain parts of the narrative.

It was fine, it wasn't necessarily a scene that needed to be included so I'm fine with it.

WHO WAS THE PERSON IN THE WINDOW? 1,456 responses

Who was the person in the window? Was Chapter 116 the last time we’ll ever see Eren transform into his Attack Titan? How to turn into a titan without alerting the military police??? When will I stop asking questions? Right now!

Just under two-thirds of the votes for this question went to Shadis. Following Shadis at a clean 10% is Zeke, trailed by Zombie Erwin at 9.6%. Given the theories about Eren’s body at the end of 117 being a Warhammer clone, I never thought I’d see the day when Zombie Erwin beats Eren in a “who is the mysterious character who is not inside Eren’s Titan” question, but here we are!

CHADIS

Keith Lurkdis

Erwin never died! What even is that option 'zombie Erwin'???

Farmer-kun

Idk but whomever it is I hope they're a good guy.

Male adult figure... Must be my man Shadis. There's no way Zeke would wear so many clothes.

Ugh I have no idea. I’m not going to pretend I can predict anything anymore.

2Pac

WHY DO YOU THINK MAGATH DEMANDED THEY CAPTURE YELENA? 1,465 responses

Why did Magath bring Yelena back with Jean and Onomatopoeia? ~20% of you thought it was because she’s need for a plan involving Zeke, ~17% think he wants the details of Zeke’s plan from her, just over 14% said he wants information about Eren, 4.4% of you think he wants her as a prisoner, and the overwhelming majority, at 44.6%, think it’s all of the above.

My theory is that Yelena is Magath's daughter

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE FINAL PANEL? 1,478 responses

Another close one. If we disregard those who selected “Avengers Assemble”, which even though we added it I have no idea if it’s meant “Hell yes, can’t wait to see the Hulk and Black Widow together again” or “Please let Tony Stark’s legacy RIP.”, The “I didn’t like it” beat out the “I liked it” by 0.3%. However you look at the data, it’s astonishing that essentially one-third of the fandom did not like this ending.

*sigh*

Get in loser, we're going to save the world

A nice cringe to start my day with :)

The old gangs back together but with ADDITIONAL TRAUMA

I think it was supposed to be satirical. A lot of us expected that the warriors and the 104th would unite again so I think Isayama made it as cliché as possible to 1)offer the readers some comic relief, 2)maybe mock his own plot and show that he's aware that this alliance is kind of cliché.

At what point did Annie and Reiner deserve to be forgiven and taken in by the SC? And why do they think they actually can (or even should) stop the Rumbling?

Marvel copied the last panel

It is a reference to Reiner’s long time ambition, and an indication to his next role. Helos perhap. But I don't think isayama would let him save the world happily. Maybe he will save the world in an ironic and tragic way.

Brilliant !!! Finally it's Connie's turn to shine.

Can't wait to see this optimism crushed. Great moment, though.

I don't understand why people think it's such a cheap cheesy ploy when it's honestly kinda obvious that they're being set up for a fall. Optimism almost always meets at the very least a bittersweet reality in this story.

It's cheesy, but people don't consider it's Connie who's saying this who is an idiot

REGARDING THE LAST PANEL, DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE A PLAN? 1,475 responses

Nearly 70% of you believe that Final Panel Gang have a plan, while just over 30% think they’re just gonna wing it. Get it? “Wing it”?

For more serious commentary, we’re normally used to seeing “Yes/No” questions a little more perfectly split, especially the ones that involve Eren. It’s interesting to see a more unified response, even if it means that SOMEBODY on Reddit is going to say “Nice.” about the Yes vote.

Isayama will probably do a flashback of the plan, he likes doing this sort of thing lol. It was fine.

It's fine IF the planning is shown in the following chapters, but if not then it'll feel like Isayama couldn't come up with solutions and did everything off screen just because of that.

Telling the plan to the reader only works, if the plan fails.

I feel like the pacing of the chapter was this fast so that Isayama could end with the "Avengers Assemble" scene as the big volume cliffhanger for the next one, so he tried to get through the events quickly to give it that poetic ending. In that case, it's possible Isayama might show how some of these events unfolded in the next chapter or two; he usually does that kind of thing when showing big events for the first time. If the next chapter fleshes some of the scenes from this chapter more like showing Jean discussing the Avengers' plan with Mikasa and Armin, I think that could make this chapter better when we look back on it.

WOULD YOU RATHER THIS CHAPTER HAVE BEEN SPLIT INTO TWO? 1,468 responses

Remember what I said about being accustomed to more split votes? Well, 39.5% of you said that you would prefer this chapter have been split into two, citing a lack of development, while 39.2% of you said that you’re glad Isayama is, *ahem*, moving forward with the plot. The near-perfect divisions breaks off a little bit when we consider that another ~12% said no, blaming the plots themselves for the problems with chapter, and 6% effectively voting yes, saying that the chapter should’ve been split into three.

Ask me again in a few months when we see how the whole plot wraps up and if Isayama adds any additional details via flashback.

Honestly all of these plot points could have been arcs within themselves and i wish it had been given enough time to become that

I like that the plot is progressing but i don't like the subplots being rushed

I'm happy it's going forward and not dragging on, but I would've loved more of an interaction between the scouts and annie/reiner.

One and a half

𝜋

There are various holes (lack of reaction during Annie's appearance, poor coherency of when Eren managed to speak with many people) but Isayama is giving us cool alliances, so it's half okay.

IF YOU COULD DROP A SUBPLOT, WHICH ONE WOULD IT BE? 1,463 responses

A fairly close call here, with the trip to Ragako Village being out in front with 42.6 percent of you claiming this is the subplot you would drop; Louise and Mikasa’s plot about the scarf is close behind on 36.2 percent. Perhaps readers feel the time for small subplots is done, since there’s so much still to do with the main plot we do not understand? A lot of responses indicated Mikasa’s perceived ‘cruelty’ (you’re all wrong, just so you know!) towards Louise, so perhaps this is indicative of why so many people would choose this event to be the subplot to drop.

Mikasa is just dead inside atm, but i feel bad for Louise

Mikasa knew Louise wanted that scarf, but she knew she needed it more. Plus I can barely remember Louise lol

Mikasa's behavior isn't good, but it's understandable---there are numerous mentally taxing events occurring.

Ragako stuff kinda sucked.

Goddamnit, this chapter was smelly poo. Not only we spent 3 months for nothing with that stupid Ragako plot and now everybody is holding hands just like that. If you're bringing an alliance you're not gonna make it happen offscreen with no detail whatsoever?

Ah and the Ragako subplot missed addressing the serumbowl as well: all we got is Armin whining about not being like Erwin and that's it. No Bert, no Ymir being addressed.

IF YOU COULD HAVE MORE INFORMATION ABOUT ONE SUBPLOT IN THIS CHAPTER, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE? 1,466 responses

Another close one! “The Armin and Annie reunion” is the subplot the majority wished for more information about with nearly 30% selecting it. “The conversation with Hange and Magath” was second (25.2%) and “Escape from Shiganshina” (17.7%) was third.

I was just expecting Levi, Hange and the corps interaction would be more surprising. The same goes for Annie and Armin's convo.

The mikasa scarf submit definitely could’ve happened in another chapter. This was too rushed and I really hope no other chapters feel this way. This chapter should’ve just been the Tagalog subplot, and then Annie and armin reunion. Then another chapter with hange/levi, Jean/flock and how they all came together to join forces.

It's so obvious this mad lad Isayama wanted to break the tension from the Armin / Annie reunion scene. We never know where he's going to trick us, do we ?

I do think that many things were kind of glossed over to save time. I'd prefer that things slow down a bit, just so we can soak up all that context. For example, the conversation between Hange and Magath, Annie and Armin's reunion and others.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT HOW EASILY THE ALLIANCES WERE FORMED? 1,474 responses

A mere 17.5% enjoyed how easily the alliances were formed. The majority (43%) called it “OK” while a more than a third of the fandom (36.2%) hated it. Some folks seem to indicate it was expected and just needed to happen quickly so the story could move along. However, the amount of people who hated it was too large to ignore; and largely for similar reasons, that it appeared too easy. Maybe the mistrust and emotion will come as the story moves along? Some of your responses indicate trouble ahead, if not behind.

Also Hanji sides too many times with "benefactors". I'm expecting the alliance to be shaky, with probably backstabbings and double-crossings. They seemed to make an agreement over killing Zeke (since no side likes him), and I doubt characters like Mikasa, Armin or Jean would be ok with killing Eren.

I don't get all the madness over the alliance, It was obvious it would happen. Also it's obvious all the things glossed this chapter will be shown in Flashback if important, like what lead Annie join them, on how Hanji contacted Jean (although i think a lot of people didn't notice the shadow in the window on that panel of Jean in the bed).

It was warm and fuzzy and I really needed that, but the actual details of the new alliance will absolutely need to be expounded upon soon.

it wouldve been better if connie's mom plot didn't exist we could've got a better build up to the alliance

Overall, things were way too rushed, as if Isayama just wanted to get to the last page. I'm expecting to see how this alliance was made in flashback form, as is typical for Isayama, but that won't fix the inherent issues of this specific chapter.

Hange getting so along with Pieck, who fought against them when Erwin was killed, was a complete joke.

I don't get all the madness over the alliance, It's was obvious it would happen. Also it's obvious all the things glossed this chapter will be shown in Flashback if important, like what lead Annie join them, on how Hanji contacted Jean (although i think a lot of people didn't noticed the shadow in the window on that panel of Jean in the bed).

I love seeing them all but oh heckin it was just a little too fast

WHICH THROWBACK DID YOU ENJOY MOST CHAPTER? 1,465 responses

“Jean remembering Marco” (31.9%) narrowly edged out “Annie kicking Reiner”(30.3%) as our favorite throwback. Levi remembering his promise was a distant third (16.2%).

That Marco’s throwback really hit me . *SOB*

I didn't like the Erwin reference when Armin tried to sacrafice himself for connies mother, instead of falco being eaten.

Armin recognized a very important thing to himself (he can't stay trying to Erwin, he suck on that, he needs to do what he is good on it, but as his own person and not shadow of Erwin)

Where was Jean at the end there? I want him to confront Annie over Marco. Poor guy had the worst death in the series. He was murder in cold blood and then it got covered up. Plus, the only person trying to solve the mystery is Jean. Bless Jean he is such a good friend

It makes sense that Connie would say that to Reiner of all people (that line come back to his childhood trauma). Fandom freaking out and fearing a cheesy happy ending is ridiculous.

I didn’t think it was cheesy at all. It circles back to Reiner’s declaration to Keith back during the training arc.

I'm kinda sick of Reiner's Kick The Dog treatment too. I know Annie hates him but still...

REGARDING HOW THE AVENGER'S MISSION AND THE ENDING WILL GO, WHICH OF THESE IS PREFERABLE/ACCEPTABLE TO YOU? 1,465 responses

Fans proving as ever, that they are a divisive bunch! However, it's clear that the smallest amount of responses favour the rumbling being stopped and world peace occuring (hippies!). Some responses indicate that this chapter made them nervous for the ending being overly optimistic, even with Eren as the apparent antagonist. Endings where Eren achieves an extreme form of Brexit (Paradexit?) with a victory over the armies of the world have a fairly even spread of positive responses, proving that he still has a lot of fans on his side. However, most of you responded in the vague sense of feeling like Isayama knows best and at this point, just seeing where this wild ride takes us.

I keep seeing this popular prediction on almost every platform: Eren destroys the world outside Paradise, goes back to Historia and her newborn kid (in this sort of prediction it is always assumed that he's the father), tells his kid (who is also thought to be reborn Ymir) "you're free" and goes on to be a good dad - End of story. Honestly the thought of this type of ending pisses me off so much. Not only because its reeks of typical shonen ending, but because it goes against all the themes and ideas that Isayama has written into the story over the years.

I would not be upset with a 'golden' ending. Some part of me wants that to happen.

It setup the shonen cliche route and can ruin the ending

It was very unusual for this manga. I hope that the author will come to the most logical ending and will not use the power of friendship.

Least exciting chapter I can remember; it has me apprehensive about the ending.

I hope Eren's conclusion will end with him winning, however I do not him accepting his morality and to be shocked at what he's done but to come to terms with what he's done.

While I'm more supportive of Eren, I'm fine with whichever side comes out on top of this as long as it doesn't involve Eren being stopped through Power of Friendship or Talk no Jutsu. That would feel too cheap.

WHICH RALLYING CRY DID YOU PREFER? 1,445 responses

While the Ragako subplot wasn’t exactly loved, Connie’s rallying cry was the fandom favorite (28.4%). Hange’s plea to Magath was a close second (26%) while Floch’s message of freedom was third (25%).

AT THIS POINT, AROUND WHICH CHAPTER DO YOU EXPECT THE MANGA WILL CONCLUDE? 1,472 responses

The pacing of this chapter and the way its implications relate to the entire manga was, if I may be so bold, one of the more talked about meta points this month, from what I’ve seen. Maybe that was the thought process behind this question. I don’t know. I didn’t write this one either. That’s a good thought process though.

Anyway, a borderline overwhelming majority of you said that the manga will end around Chapter 134 (48.4% of you). The next most common answer was Chapter 138, which would give us 12 more chapters. Chapter 130 got the least amount of votes, at 7.3%. The remaining votes went to Chapter 142+, and I appreciate that optimism, because I for one hate thinking about this question.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,475 responses

“Historia when?” (26%) tops the list followed by the long awaited Eren POV (23.5%). “Details on things glossed over this chapter” was the third pick (22.7%) followed by “Zeke, Eren and OG Ymir” (11.6%).

I can't wait to see Zeke's reaction at seeing Levi AGAIN ready to fuck him up.

Historia when?? Also, Hange needs a hug, Levi needs sleep, Armin and Annie need to talk, Falco needs to deal with his brother's death some more, and we all need Erwin to come back :(

I hope we get flashbacks to explain all this off screen development.

Isayama please for the love of god remember that Historia exists.

Where is HISTORIA

where is zeke?

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,401 responses

Reddit continues to dominate this question, pulling 44.9% of the vote. “I don’t” actually takes second place this month, with Tumblr coming next, followed very closely by Twitter, which is in turn followed closely by Discord. In descending order from there, we have real life, 4chan, Youtube, a two-way tie between Instagram and Facebook, and everything else has less than 10 votes.

Before I move on though, it’s absolutely critical that I draw your attention to last month’s poll. Last month, I said, and I quote,

“Lastly, something ominous is going on in the Snapchat cult, because there were only two of you this month, down from five last month. That’s still enough to reproduce though and it makes me uneasy.“

“Why are you bringing that up?” you may be asking yourself. I’m bringing it up because Snapchat got SIX votes this time. “Why does that matter?” you ask yourself next. I’m glad you asked. That’s a 300% increase. If that rate continues, in just five month’s time, there will be more members of the Snapchat cult than the rest of you COMBINED.

That’s not to say anything more than it says, but I should add that I was totally vindicated on the Snapchat cult reproduction theory. Having done the math, you guys DEFINITELY scare me more than the people who liked “Pieck Finger”.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 375 responses

Remember kids, the world is currently supposed to be ending

I know most people hated how rushed it felt, but honestly, I'm glad this wasn't split into 2 months. This leaves more time for the conclusion, and would much rather the alliances be rushed rather than the ending.

While it's certainly sad that Louise may not be long for this world, I also don't think Mikasa owes her anything. Mikasa seems to see a lot of traits she dislikes about herself cranked up to 11 in Louise, and I think it's understandable to need to distance oneself from toxic ideas or people. Mikasa and Louise were never friends, they never really knew each other, and never really cared about each other. Sure, Louise idolized an idea of Mikasa, but she put herself as separate from the real Mikasa, lesser. These two strangers never had a real chance to truly know each other, and that's okay, sad but okay.

While the panel of Annie with a face stuffed with pie is a gem, I think it seemed almost too good a coincidence. Both parties (Armin, Connie and the kids and Hitch & Annie) happen to be taking a break from their travels at the same time in the same city at the same festival. Seemed a bit too lucky.

Isayama has a bias against the yeagerists too. Portraying them as mindless dumbasses that are evil for no reason. Look at Floch everytime he has a moment it gets cut short for a "oh look at this dumbass" type of conclusion like him missing the shot at Shadis and getting duped by Jean and the 104th.

my dumb shipper’s heart wants Pieck’s reaction to Porco’s death.

this chapter felt too 'super hero movie' to me, in the sense that it was way too optimistic and cheesy, nothing like the Attack on Titan I know and love. Isayama's been watching too much Marvel.

A rushed chapter, Isayama may have messed up some timelines (e.g. Louise's talk with Eren, the changes in day and night), maybe Isayama was too focused on SAUNA SAUNA SAUNA when he was drawing the chapter but anyway, if the chapter was rushed because he wants to move to next plots (eee....east...eeeek...Ki....), I'm fine with it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Chapter Would've been terrific if it weren't for the rushed forced alliance. Mikasa's character also seemed out of place this chapter.

is not a bad chapter but at the same time is not a godly chapter like others but i have faith on isayama that he will blow our minds

Felt very disappointed and it is as if this story is moving to black and white territory again.

Good fast development, optimistic that what was glossed over will be addressed. A bit antsy that this is a setup for some tragedy but I don’t expect total senseless ruin for the characters.

I don't really see where all the complaints are coming from, to me the chapter must be one of my all time favorites ever since I've started reading the manga at the regular monthly pace. I think the build up and the tension have been steadily increasing slowly enough up to this point, and now we've finally reached the top of the roller coaster tracks, and it's time for the ride to the conclusion. I loved the mysterious plan, it reminds me of the uprising arc (ah the good old times).

I hope the author just got a bit lost and had to put things back on track quickly. I want to feel for these characters, not find out that I followed their struggles for chapters to see them dissolve for the sake of the plot.

Eren has suffered a lot over the years and a lot of things have been TAKEN from him - but do you remember "In order to achieve something, you have to give up something important"? I don't think Eren has ever GIVEN up something of his. He's always been a little maniac intent on killing the enemy (which is what he is doing right now). There have been so many characters in the story that have given up their dreams and finally their lives, why is Eren the one that gets to have his cake and eat it too?

I love it cause we need some time of just relax and be happy before the sad ending

I’m hoping the next chapter will make this one better by fleshing things out. Also seeing Annie and Reiner reunite made me deeply miss Bertolt this month.

JE VEUX PAS QUE CE MANGA FINISSE OMG

Reiner getting kicked in the face to wake up and understanding nothing is all of us

The more things don't seem to add up, the more you have to pay attention, that's what I learnt reading this series. And a whole lot didn't seem to add up in this chapter so I'm super hyped!

This is easily one of the weakest chapters Isayama has ever written. After creating all of these subplots that we were expecting to go somewhere and hold emotional weight for the characters were written off into cheap one-liners, off screen reactions and discussion, and just overall completely weak subplots that left us with no emotional payoff.

Boii I'm glad the development on the characters matters only when its relevant to the plot, I almost forget that I used to like them. If Reiner of all people doesn't point out how creepy and disgusting it all is I don't know what to say, what a waste of time of a series.

Connie mentioning Sasha made me cry! Actually makes me wish Eren pulls some time travel shit so that we can have our girl back.

Can I just say I find it funny, and I really love Pieck regardless, it is just a last name after all.

Good, but the former-enemy to friendly-pie-eating turnover rate was wayyyyy too fast!

I thought this chapter was it for Connie, who has been one of my favorites since the beginning. It was a bit sudden but I'm glad him not feeding Falco to his mom is Canon AND that it strengthened his bond with Armin.

It feels like none of the Jeagerists really see clearly what the situation is, or at least don't have an ounce of understanding or sympathy why everyone else is scared and freaked out by what has happened. That in turn makes it harder for non-Jeagerists to act with sympathy, what a vicious cycle.

What bothers me the most is not the way Mikasa interacted with Louise, but the fact that she wanted the scarf back. On a symbolic level, she left it behind a few chapters ago, which meant that she no longer put Eren first and started thinking about herself. She recognized that her bond with Eren was severed. So why take that scarf back now, when it's not supposed to have that much importance anymore?

I can see either the next chapter or the one after showing a flashback of Jean, Armin, and Mikasa discussing that plan. Cutting some parts of a scene and showing it in the following chapter or two is usually an Isayama thing to do.

I don't know why everyone's expecting every single piece of exposition to be laid out for them like meeting minutes. This isn't the first time we've understood what's been going on behind the scenes after the fact.

At the start Connie struggles to hold his emotions, and suddenly he's a hero, cheesy and cliche

Excuse me but can we stop making Gabi involved in everything? Shes so OP at this point

I loved the mockery of the cliche superhero assemble bullshit

STARDUST CRUSADERS

The cringe made me develop a permanent seizure. Also both my eyeballs are still stuck in the back of my head because of the excessive force I used trying to roll my eyes.

The team-up should have been given more time to develop. It wasn’t all bad though.

X-Men on their way to stop Magneto (Eren)

The problem does not lie so much in the pace as in the script tension, which Isayama killed a little in this chapter but intentionally I think. I mean the guys are literally sleeping and eating like it was a party during the freaking end of the world, do you really think he would have let such a thing slip out of clumsiness?

I'm pretty sure that Levi will have the role of "Helos", and Hange his 'Tybur' collaborator, because she's holding a hammer like the guy/girl next to Helos during the play (ch99).

Not the usual quality.

8/10. I liked annie's reunion the best, but wish that hitch had more characterization and wasn't written out so quickly. Ragako subplot was fine but predictable. Louise subplot kinda boring. Avengers assemble at the end was very anime and I liked it.

A peaceful chapter before the storm

A thought: What if Ackermans are the only ones able to actually kill off the Nine Titans? We know they’re byproducts of titan science, maybe they were created to annihilate them? That’d be devastating to see Levi or Mikasa kill Eren and Armin. I’d love it. 😂

Annie is the best girl

Anyone pretending this chapter wasn't utter shit is in hardcore denial.

Did not like the assemble. Nobody can forget what happened in the recent past of Paradis and what the warriors did. But have hope in Isayama

Do Gabi and Falco know that Armin is the Collosal Titan? I thought Connie might let that slip to them and it might create tension between Gabi and Armin but.... No. Everything about that subplot was insanely rushed, there were a lot of ways it could have played out.

Aforementioned last page quote that is so unlike SnK up to this point. Cringey and straight out of an Avengers movie, I can't believe there are people who actually like this development.

I hope Isayama isn't overworking and rushing himself to finish the manga just for the sake of finishing it this year, but I still believe he will finish SnK in a satisfactory manner that will be memorable for decades. However, this chapter as well as 125 were very disappointing and lowered my expectations considering how good the entire final arc had been up to this point.

Errrwiiiiiiiinnnn!!!!!

game of thrones level of trash, i hope for god that the aot ending isn't as bad as final season game of thrones

I didn’t like the Ragako subplot, but I did like Connie saving Armin and their heart-to/heart afterwards.

I don’t think the chapter was rushed. Glad to see Armin finally doing SOMETHING, and I hope it was more a gamble than him wanting to die. Hange’s monologue was so out of character, everyone knows Hange would never want to live in the woods, yet it looks like Hange always gets discouraged and needs encouragement from somebody else. Seriously, that’s not the Hange we all know. Where’s the ‘defeat is all the Survey Corps ever knew, let’s kick asses!!’ Hange?? that interaction with Pieck brought some of it back thankfully

I don’t understand why everyone is complaining lol

I enjoyed how quickly it moved. We’ve been down in the doldrums since December, so I’m glad to see the characters & the pace picking back up again.

I hate how quickly Hanji becomes depressed. Armin, Jean - they overcame their doubts by themselves. Yet Hanji always needs someone else to tell them to stop being ridiculous. It’s like Levi is babysitting Hanji :/ I miss good, old, badass Hanji

I miss hitch already

I noticed that the way Floch gesticulates during his speech was very reminiscent of how Hitler gave his speeches

I really like Hanji and Levi’s friendship and how Levi always knows what to say to encourage his friends but can we please stop with Hanji being so emotionally weak? I love Hanji, but c’mon- Levi was seriously injured and still needs to treat Hanji like she’s a wounded kid. Jean came to his senses on his own, same for Armin and Mikasa. All they needed was to remember people who died, did Hanji not lose enough comrades to find her strength from? Hanji is one of two veterans left and the commander(!), it really hurts to see her so pathetic, that was hard to read. Glad she looks more like old Hanji at the end of the chapter

I wanted more Annie and Hitch adventures and feel deprived.

i wish there was more to the reunion of Annie & co, but whatever, let’s just move on with this plot.

I'm in the minority here, but I actually liked the chapter. Sure the pacing was a bit off, but this may be because we're getting a detailed explanation for it in an upcoming chapter. Other than that I find it somewhat amusing that so many people that a team-up wasn't happening. Like there was so much goddamned FORESHADOWING about it. Plus the fact that Isayama basically flat-out admitted that he was going to create a team-up a-la Guardians of the Galaxy. I'm not expecting roses and fluffiness at the end of the road, I see a lot of people dying. And I still don't know who's gonna be the victor at the end. It just seemed really clear to me where these character arcs were/are heading. I still have faith in Yams. He hasn't disappointed me yet, so let's just see what he has in store for us.

It feels like Isayama is rushing to finish it off just like Kishimoto did with Naruto Shippuuden and that makes me very sad. I'm worried he'll destroy everything he did until now.

It felt incredibly unrealistic. What I have appreciated most about SnK is its narrative integrity and ability to produce results proportional to the protagonists' abilities. Currently, this feels rather forced. When did they come up with these plans? How could they possibly have alerted Jean ahead of time without anything being shown? It feels like a cheat. Also, I don't like that its just them going after Eren. Realistically, in SnK, a small group of characters, even with their level of power, shouldn't consider going after him how they have. If anything they need to face reality and prepare for the world to come after the rumbling, since if I think anybody in their position would think it is utterly impossible to stop it.

It was warm and fuzzy and I really needed that, but the actual details of the new alliance will absolutely need to be expounded upon soon.

It was...fine.

It wasn’t so bad, the hate is really annoying.

It's clear SNK is ending soon so before we see Eren and what else is going on with the rumbling Hisayama wants to close plots with other characters BUT IMO the price of this is giving us less hyped chapters since the walls broke and we still have to see the new Eren titan form…

Just to clarify, "Which throwback did you enjoy most chapter" is intended to be an English sentence, yes? Quality work here as usual, tumblr/reddit big-shots. I hope no one lets you guys near an actual workplace where what you do matters. (A/N: Well you didn't capitalise Tumblr or Reddit so who is the real villain here?)

Let Levi kill that ape. Please. He’s gone through so much and lost everything. Give him just this one little thing

Let's say we generally agreed that this chapter is bad.

Not nearly as bad as people say it was like Jesus heck calm down. I mostly feel bad for isayama tbh he’s probably being pressured to wrap it up and he’s not usually one to not give moments like this chapter proper time.

It's hard to say why Isayama decided to wrap up things fairly quickly, whether he has later flashbacks planned or whether he was overwhelmed with time pressure/suffered a writer's block of whatever. I think, in the end, if the rest of the story wraps up strong, it doesn't matter much.

I'm happy with what happened in this chapter, except the fact that it was rushed and Levi's plot armor, I mean Ackermann blood. He should have lost at least a leg...

The only solace I take in all of this is that the plot can finally move forward. This has been an entire volume of seemingly pointless side quests and I'm ready to focus again on the main story. Frankly, I'm exhausted. I just want answers and I want to know how the story finds resolution.

We had several excellent chapters recently, a subpar one is understandable. Hopefully the Anime will expand on it a bit

#snk poll #snk polls #snk 126 #snk chapter 126 #snk poll results

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soopersara · 5 years

Note

Why and when did you start shipping Zutara?

You want the long version or the short version? Just kidding! There really isn’t a short version. My history with ATLA in general is kind of a mess.

I saw my first episode of ATLA around the time it was airing - I think it was in 2008 or so when Book 3 was almost done. Anyway, I was babysitting some of my younger cousins, my aunt told me that the boys were allowed to watch a couple of episodes of the show they’d been recording on the DVR. Cool. I’d never heard of it before, but if middle-school me didn’t have to come up with a ton of activities to occupy three little boys until their bedtime, I wasn’t gonna argue about it.

So I got the boys settled in on the couch, hit play, and I watched my first ever episode of ATLA. The Western Air Temple. And HOLY BUCKETS, dude, I was hooked. Honestly, in a way, I started shipping Zutara right then and there. There was just so much emotion and tension between the two of them. And sure, it was clearly not a romance yet, but the whole point of the episode was Zuko trying to join the Gaang, and for me (then and now), Katara felt like the emotional center of the Gaang. She was the one who seemed to have the most personal history with Zuko, she was the one who was most opposed to him joining, and she was the person whose approval Zuko seemed to want the most. And... damn. I wanted to see that conflict play out and resolve SO BADLY. I wasn’t consciously aware of this at the time, but there’s an old saying that love and hate aren’t opposites, love and apathy are. And that was the first time I ever felt the truth of that statement and wanted to watch the enemies to friends to lovers dynamic play out.

But then my babysitting night ended, and my parents drove me home, and I spent the rest of my middle school and high school years back in my normal life in a house with one TV, no cable, and no internet. I couldn’t have watched the rest of ATLA if I wanted to, and I was unaware of... the majority of what was on the internet in general at that point, so I didn’t know that fandom was a thing. Also, my family has... poor taste in entertainment. They don’t like ANY fantasy/sci-fi, not because they had problems with the plots, tropes, or themes associated with the genres, but because they think that people who enjoy those genres are “weird” and because of that, they’ve never bothered to consume any stories in those genres. Which meant that they teased me for my tastes in stories. A lot. All the time. I wouldn’t have had the guts to watch ATLA in my house even if I had access to it. So I just let my brain run wild extrapolating story ideas from the tiny snippets of ATLA that I had seen and started never finished a few original stories with nuggets of inspiration drawn from the Zutara dynamic.

Then I went off to college a few years later and it occurred to me a couple of times that I could probably find ATLA and watch it online, but I never actually looked for it until a few of my friends in the dorms mentioned that they loved this old kids’ show called Avatar the Last Airbender. I waited until I finally had free time (the few days when I was stuck on campus after finishing finals), and finally got around to watching it.

And watching ATLA was... not what I expected. Based on what I’d seen of the show several years earlier, I knew that Zuko started off on the wrong side of the war, but I wasn’t prepared to see him be such a raging jerk for so much of the show. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him the whole time but it was a I want to shake you and and tell you to pull your head out of your ass because I know how much better you will be later and I want that NOW kind of love. I knew based on the episode intro I’d seen in middle school that Aang was the protagonist, but I wasn’t prepared to see him drive so much of the show, since he was just... not the central character in the first episode I saw. And on some level, I knew that there had to be a lot of history as enemies between Zuko and the Gaang to cause the amount of animosity I saw, but I didn’t expect his joining the Gaang to come so close to the end. I thought there would be at LEAST a solid season with him as a Gaang member, not... half a season.

So... I liked ATLA. It was good. The finale was a huge, beautiful spectacle that worked so well on an emotional level, but... there were enough things that niggled at me that I didn’t see it becoming a major interest of mine. At the time, I really only had media/stories that I revisited over and over and over because I loved them unconditionally and media/stories that was... too flawed or not compelling enough for me to revisit.

But ATLA was different. I thought it was going to end up in my list of “meh” stories that I liked but bugged me enough that I’d never go back to it. But I just. Kept. Thinking. About. It. And after a while, I started watching the show over. And over. And over. But those problems still niggled at me, and I didn’t really know how to articulate what my problems with the show were.

So then I finished college and moved in with a friend. And after she introduced me to a few shows I’d never seen before, I decided to return the favor and introduce her to ATLA. And after that rewatch, I finally started picking out and trying to articulate some of my problems with the show. Two of the first things I realized were that I HATED Maiko as presented in canon (it reminded me too much of my high school classmates whose romantic relationships alway boiled down to “I hate spending time with him/her, but I’m horny.” UGH. I don’t know how many times I had to restrain myself from yelling, “JUST BREAK THE F*CK UP, YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY TWO HORNY TEENAGERS ON THE PLANET.”), and Kataang was... meh. I didn’t hate the idea of them being together eventually, but the development felt half-assed and the kiss in the finale was WAY too sudden for me. I finally remembered that I liked the idea of Zuko and Katara together way back when I first saw The Western Air Temple, and because the internet has a creepy way of reading my thoughts, Pinterest started feeding me Zutara fanart. I. Loved. It. Knowing that I wasn’t the only one who wanted them together was AMAZING (keep in mind, this was like... 2016. I came SO late it’s unreal).

I decided that I wanted to write a Zutara fanfic at some point, then got the idea for an Avatar Katara AU now my mega-slow updating WIP, A Tale of Ice and Smoke. And I started writing it. And posting on FFN. Then some of my scrolling through Zutara content on Pinterest led me to Zutara metas (which reinforced a lot of the conclusions I’d reached about my own issues with the story and helped me identify a few others that I’d noticed but hadn’t been able to express) and other people’s fics, and I started reading those while posting the first few chapters of Ice and Smoke. Then I finally created my own Tumblr and started getting more and more involved in the fandom. When I say that I fell ass-backward into this fandom, I mean it.

So. TLDR: I started either started shipping Zutara in 2008 when I saw one episode (to this day The Western Air Temple is still one of my favorites), or I started shipping it in 2016 after thinking about the show way too much, and deciding that fixing a lot of my problems with the series would most likely lead to Zuko and Katara being together.

#zutara #let's just pretend that this ask HASN'T been sitting around for nearly a week

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

Text

Episode 4 | “ladies and gays.......the games have OFFICIALLY begun “ - Adam

I was immune three times so far this season. Three times. and FOR WHAT? I'm so screwed if I don't win this immunity challenge. I know I'm a weak link, so if I don't win this, hopefully *dan* doesn't either cause I might have to target him to save my skin. This is where I'm really gonna have to be social over the next day, cause my ass is quite literally on the line right now. I'm not getting 18th-16th, screw this.

ladies and gays.......the games have OFFICIALLY begun, at least for me but hopefully not just for me or uh i might be in trouble... but anywho, another brain went home sorry to this person and right when we all thought a swap of some sort was coming, BOOM a twist of all twists... EVERYONE is going to tribal, that means after this vote, we're gonna be down to 16 people just like that. But before we get there we have to get through immunity and tribal first, i saw that time was one of the tiebreakers and was doing nothing better so i figured lets get this challenge with, its counting how hard can it really be, once again however i completely underestimed my stupid bitchness! i was all the way into the 400s almost through before i MESSED UP .... TWICE ... so in the end i somehow still got 211 which i guess we'll see if that was decent, i dont think ill win but hopefully im just not last. This also means its time to start talking game, i hope no one is scared to talk game because im absolutely not. I'm not here to just sit in the shadows right away, I started messaging just a couple of the people i feel ive built some small connections with and just start to plant seeds about the vote coming up, i dont wanna throw any names out there until at least after we see who wins immunity, but as of now, connor might be a first easy boot?? either that or thats just what people are telling me to blindside me...idk im also still completely shook that the idol is out there, so i really want to vote out whoever has it so i can try to find it again.... but the only problem is i have no idea who has it, it could very well be someone i trust just keeping it to themselves like i wouldve...so we'll see, today is the calm before the storm, and i can tell you the storm is right over the horizon on its way to cause chaos for the beauties because we've been sitting pretty for far too long (pun intened), tomorrow after 9 once we see who wins, thats when i predict at least for me alliance chats and plans will hopefully start coming to fruition and uh hopefully its not me

When you survived that vote out when you thought you were leaving https://media.giphy.com/media/5GoVLqeAOo6PK/200_d.gif When that twist comes out where three people all leave in the same round https://media.giphy.com/media/W7RVlWfc1O9gY/giphy.gif It's moments like this that make me realize that I should have tried to convince Devon to split up Autumn & Duncan last round. Because if Isaac was here, I could have easily gotten Devon and either Duncan/Autumn on board with voting out Isaac. Now we have to go to tribal AGAIN where we have to vote out a daddy :'( I'm still up in the air about what I want to do. Part of me is thinking about doing 2 options. 1 would be to utilize Devon to split up Autumn/Duncan. OR, I can align with Autumn/Duncan and vote out Devon. It's obvious that Autumn and Duncan are a duo, and I'm almost 100% certain that they'll tell Devon to vote me and me to vote Devon. Doing so gives them full power on who to send home, so I think my best bet is to vote with Devon this round. If Devon is as with me as he says he is, then the vote should tie. If Autumn/Duncan decide to vote me out over Devon, then I would hope Devon allows it to go to a tiebreaker. If they vote Devon, then I might just flip my vote and send Devon out of the game. Devon is a "i'm 100% loyal" type of person but at the same time, he also said the same things to me that he said to Duncan. So I don't trust him 100%. I wouldn't be surprised if the three of them just decided to vote me out. If I happen to win immunity, I might actually consider allowing Devon to go to a tiebreaker. I don't have anything to lose by having Devon and either Autumn or Duncan duke it out in a challenge. Devon sucks at challenges so he'd probably go home anyways, but at least the chance at staying is better than nothing. My goal is to win this challenge first and foremost. I hope that if I win that I have some power or influence in how this vote turns out. Given that I have a 25% chance at being voted out, anything can happen.

its literally so sad to see that the daddies have to go to tribal council. i made sure i didn't f*ck up in the immunity challenge and hopefully i have a good shot at winning it. Granted i survive this vote regardless, its going to be amazing to see the other tribes go to tribal council and test their tribe dynamics.This is like the equivalent of giving everyone a survivor wake up call. Just because we've been sucking doesn't mean we get to be spared by a swap. No one deserves anything, you have to earn it. Worst comes to worse I would like to think I have to make fire against scott or devon, which at that point if i lose then i would have done everything i can to stay in this god forsaken game. I'm leaning more towards wanting Scott out but obvi if he wins immunity i have no issue voting for Devon. Can you imagine us not swapping after this and then having to go to tribal again!? Its starting to get quite comical that we've had to play so much already and we're not even close to merge. Wish a bitch luck i guess

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Waiting for these results really has me terrified about how I did. Personally, I like to think I did well in that challenge. Not to toot my own horn or sound cocky, but I spent some time practicing beforehand. I went on a word doc and just kept typing numbers a few times. I also practiced breathing techniques so that I wouldn't let nerves get the best of me when it came to the challenge. AND I also played some mantras in my head to remind me to stay focus and not eat into stress. My mantras include "slow and steady wins the race" and "take a deep breath, go with the flow, just do your best, and show what you know." I also gave myself a time limit as to how long I could spend on each part. I allowed myself 13 minutes to go up, and 17 minutes to go down. I wanted more time going down since by the end my hands would get tired and having little time at the end leads to stress/a potential mess up. So I'm glad I paced myself out with it. I was really scared that my challenge wouldn't count at first because my internet froze up right as I was ending. Luckily, I took the time to take screenshots with time stamps on them just in case something happened. Cause at first I was told "you didn't complete it" and that had me PETRIFIED!! Like I desperately need to win this otherwise I'm gonna get voted out. But luckily my screenshots came through and they accepted my score of 533. If I win this immunity, I have a good chunk of power in deciding who gets voted out. And on top of that, there's no immediate consequences for my decisions. From the looks of it, it seems like Autumn and Devon did really bad in that challenge. I'm hoping that Duncan doesn't do better than me. As for this vote, I think Duncan/Autumn are definitely going to vote together. Which means that I need Devon and I to stick together for this vote. If I win immunity, then I am 100% on board with voting with Devon this round. Autumn/Duncan are too strong of a duo and they need to be split up. Otherwise if we're still together on this tribe, I get the boot soon. I realize after this that I need to work on getting new allies in this game. If I can make it up until a swap, I think I have the potential to go far. I plan to make new allies with whoever is on the swapped tribe, and I'll mention that brains tribe is dead and if they need me to prove my loyalty, I'd be willing to vote out the other two remaining brains. We'll see what happens though. If Duncan does win immunity, then I might feel out to see if Duncan/Autumn are honest about voting out Devon and if I get the vibe that they are, I'll jump on that just to get myself to the swap. Ideally, I want Devon around since I know he'll be loyal to me, but this is a situation that is far out of my control. So, let's hope I win immunity this round!

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Are all the Socotra people going to leave or like…? RIP Isaac truly, what a king! I am completely expecting a swap soon just because it makes tons of sense numbers wise? I hope we don’t because I have footing on this tribe which doesn’t happen usually so ghfjdksla

So after results, I’m mentally preparing myself for a swap because it WOULD happen yknow? Well this new twist? Has me gagged, gooped, shook, quaking, and confused all at the same time so yay for that! But yeah, it seems we’re having a nice little triple tribal feature tonight so get your popcorn folks cause the show is about to start! This twist does have me sorta shook just cause 3 people are leaving this round and we’ll be at F15… so in my head, this only confirms the fact that someone is gonna come back in the game at merge cause why wouldn’t the hosts do that? Well, I’m keeping an eye out for it all (and for Selener ofc)

Did I want to win this immunity challenge? Yes! Did that happen? No! Is that a bad thing? Honestly, not really! Like I am not the type of player that likes to be on people’s radars whatsoever so not being a winner of this game’s first individual immunity challenge is not something I can particularly mad about! Amir winning is cute like I love that for him <3 Adam did have me spooked that he was winning because he kept mentioning slightly high numbers BUT him and I did about the same so yay for us! While this vote is gonna be messy most likely, I do feel pretty secure and safe? I hate that I feel that way because I stay being caught off-guard when I feel that way but I’ve really focused on getting to know everyone here and letting the strategy come later so yeah (‘:

okay so today was about tying up lose ends. I had to clean up anything that could be used against me, and the main issue in my game right now is that i have built a great relationship with adam and i want him to stay, but my alliance does not want him to stay. My options are to save him with my idol, or convince my alliance to keep him, however, both could completely destroy my game. all 3 of them want adam gone, and its not worth it for me to go against all their wishes and it could make them doubt my loyalty, instead im going with the plan to vote adam out (i am so sorry u dont deserve it). However, i told augusto that adam told me about numbers at the bottom of the cast reveal. I realized that now there is leverage against me, that he or adam could use, so i have told the rest of the alliance about the numbers that adam found, hopefully to show them that im insanely loyal nejkwnfke even tho im not. But now, if i go againt adam, he has no dirt on me at all, and i can go through with the alliance's plan. Furthermore, I have a relationship with both austin and aj, so if adam goes, thats fine, ill just get closer to austin. Replace the relationship. Austin is also way less likely to lie or be a rat than adam would. if i could be swapped onto a tribe with duncan and autumn from the brains, i might just have to scoop them up! but i know autumn and ali are close

Me when I found out I won individual immunity at today's tribal and had the overall highest score out of every person in the game: https://media.giphy.com/media/1kIvUyWrdz88GKgtON/200_d.gif I was NOT expecting to do as well as I thought I did in that challenge. I expected to have won within my tribe, but not beat every single person in the game. i hope this challenge doesn't put a huge target on my back. I'm so happy that I won! Based on the mood of the camp right now, it seems like I needed to win. The only person who spoke to me prior to the challenge was Devon. Duncan's talking to me now, but I feel like it's only because I won immunity. I strongly believe that I needed this immunity otherwise I would have been voted out 3-1. Or at least a 2-2 tie if Devon is actually with me. But knowing that I play a major role in this outcome is a beautiful thing. If there was any tribal that I needed to be immune for, it would be this one. As for what I am thinking for tonight's tribal, I think that Autumn/Duncan are going to vote together this round. So this means that I could either vote with them to eliminate Devon OR I vote with Devon to cause a tie and have a tiebreaker challenge take place. Do I think Devon has a shot at winning this challenge? Honestly no... But I think voting with him has some added benefits. The first one is that it shows to everyone in the game that I'm about loyalty this time around. Secondly if he loses, it allows for me to make connections at a future swap. I can state that Autumn/Duncan are an obvious duo and that I have no allies. Showing off that look could help me gain new allies within the other tribes. Plus if Devon does win the challenge, then that's an ally I have going forward and I can state that vote as a move I made in this game at final tribal. Granted I've made moves so far in every vote during this game, but this is one that I can really emphasize towards me winning. But another reason I'm leaning towards keeping Devon is in the event that a swap doesn't happen and we lose again! By showing Devon that he almost left last round, I think he would 100% remain loyal to me for the rest of this game. However, it doesn't mean that I'm not open to hearing out other options. Devon does suck at challenges, so voting him out could be a good thing going forward. Plus I know for a fact that he's shady since he preached the same things to me that he said to Duncan. So I don't appreciate how he isn't being 100% truthful. Personally, I just don't trust any of the brains and need to jump on another tribe's bandwagon. I hope if I can make it to the swap that I can try to gain some new allies around here. Because I need people to make sure I get to the end. For now, I'm just going to hear everyone out and weigh out all of my options moving forward. I need to do what's best for Scottica going forward.

Whhhhaaattttt? Me uploading a confessional before 4 minutes before the next day??????? What a twist!!!!!!

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Anyways, the vote has come down to Devon leaving this round. Which doesn't surprise me, I expect Duncan/Autumn to not want to vote each-other out. Knowing that these two are unbreakable makes me want to work with Devon. But then Duncan also made the point that Devon comes off as the least threatening. Which is also true, he's the only one on our tribe who hasn't made it to the FTC yet. This has me thinking "let me talk to Devon about the tiebreaker challenge so he can figure out who he thinks he can beat" So I went into a call with Devon tonight basically expecting him to be down for a tiebreaker challenge against whoever he thought he could beat in the challenge, but ended up leaving the call actually wanting to vote him out because of how annoying he was throughout the whole call.... Me: "Hey Devon, Autumn and Duncan are 100% going to vote you out tonight. I will vote with you, but I need to know who you think you can beat in a tiebreaker challenge because if I vote with you, you need to win this challenge. Otherwise, I'll be public enemy #1 if you lose" Devon: "Well I think I could beat Duncan in a tiebreaker because he's throwing my name out there to try and get me out. Also, I've been completely honest with you this whole time so I hope that you'll vote with me tonight because I was going to go to the end with you. Anytime I was under the hot seat in Guyana, I made sure to win that challenge." Me: *looks at Guyana's wikia to see he won 1 immunity challenge and read confessionals about how he's a liar, a backstabber, and can't be trusted* The whole time he kept asking me who I wanted out and I'm like "none of the politics matter this round" Why? Because if it's a 2-2 tie, it comes down to how well you do in that challenge. Like I tried to tell this man he needs to bring his A game in the challenges. And he isn't even seeing that as a factor. Personally, I think Devon has a better chance at beating Autumn in a tiebreaker. Duncan performed better in all of the previous challenges so far. So the fact that he isn't really seeing this on a challenge performance level and more of a threat level shows that he doesn't see the severity of this situation. Chances are we will swap next round, so I can try vote Devon out and use connections to say "hey, I'm next to go on this tribe please align with me" in an attempt to get new allies. Plus Devon's paranoia really has me saying forget the whole tiebreaker plan and vote him out. UPDATE: I had to stop typing this confessional because Duncan called me to tell me Devon told him about the tiebreaker challenge and in all honesty Devon is a dumbass (sorry Devon) like his lack of perception in this game is TRULY astounding. Duncan and I basically spent the time bonding over his lack of sincerity and that Autumn is better for a swap. And with the performance he's putting on tonight, I'm ready to vote him out. I just have to hope we actually swap because if we do another tribe challenge and we lose AGAIN I know I get the boot. Also, I realize more and more that Devon really sucks at challenges and there's no way he can beat Autumn or Duncan at a challenge. So I guess I'm voting him out this round and then HOPING this doesn't come to bite me in the butt at the end. Sorry Devon. I wish I could have kept you, but you should have kept your mouth shut to Duncan & Autumn :/

... yeah I don’t think I can vote out Adam. Which is a shame because I made a promise and an alliance chat with Austin. But realistically Adam is a better player to keep around. He’s more easy going than Austin and more vengeful against the Brawn tribe which is definitely something worth keeping around. Also I accidentally just made an alliance with him. I really need to stop doing that before I start to face actual repercussions for my actions. Austin didn’t tell me his plans to vote out Connor so in my mind that’s sketchy as fuck. And I know he just got voted out of a game and I’d feel like a prick for voting him out. But we don’t have room for doubt in our tribe alliance. What if he’s trapped alone with Connor on a different tribe? Can we trust him not to vote for him? What if we merge and he feels the need to go off script? Will he just fuck off and do his own thing? And sure Adam most likely has an idol but he won’t have it forever. Sooner or later he’s going to have to use it and wouldn’t we be better off if he used it for us rather than against us? Then we can go in for the kill with his weapon down the hatch and our trust in his back pocket. Now I just need to express this to my teammates with out sounding like a psycho or a loon.

*sarah maclachlan playing in the background* hello ladies and gays, my name is adam, and welcome to..... my survivor funeral. In all my times playing tumblr survivor, the same situation has just ironically always happened to me, the very first tribal i partake in, my name ALWAYS gets thrown out there and i almost go home, but i somehow weasel my way out of it, and i think this time may be the one that finally gets me and stops me dead in my tracks this is gonna be a lot of tea so buckle up and get your teacups gorls, so basically immunity ends, i lose whatever i came close but ive never been one to need to rely on challenges to win, except maybe i did need this one, anywho after the challenges i go around and try to pick some brains, im hesitant about throwing a name out there but i did innevitably mention connor's name only to augusto/amir and austin mentioned voting connor to me first, i did say i felt disconnected to connor to austin first but i didnt say anything about voting him out first, anywho so im sitting here thinking...ok this seems too easy especially because i messaged other people aka augusto/amir and literally was getting no responses from them right away?? like im not an idiot, im of course assuming theyre plotting against me and normally im just being paranoid but NOT this time because AJ comes to me, because little does everyone know aj is definitely a friend of mine so he mentioned to me that kendall allegedly messaged this group chat they had the other day from the challenge i WILLINGLY sat out in, and was like "so obvious alliance without alex or adam and lets vote one of them out xD" like ooh ok you got me, congrats the only way you can play survivor successfully is by creating an alliance of circumstance that has nothing to build off of, its so frustrating the ONE time i really come into this game playing, like ive messaged and genuinely tried building relationships and for them to basically just all of the sudden be null and void over nothing??? it irks me i wont lie. It dissappoints me, and honestly upsets me. Im not an outwardly emotional person usually but im kinda upset over this? i know its a game and i shouldnt be taking it personally, but for me to have started building connections with people like augusto and amir and for them to just throw me down the river just because i wasnt included in their group bothers me. i guess i know its the name of the game, but what really upsets me is ive been TRYING and then theres people like connor who aj has said wasnt even ON the other group call for long at all and made no contribution??? but youre gonna vote me out.......someone who genuinely wanted to work with you people and am here to do so??? i guess on the bright side i can take some flattery if i leave first because aj said if they vote me over austin its because they view me as a bigger threat than him.....which they are 150% right to do so, however....they dont know im a threat!!!!! like i said some of these people havent even tried to get to even know me so how can you try and make conclusions about me already?????? AND YALL ARE REALLY SO DIMWITTED YOU THINK ID WORK WITH JAKEY ON THE OTHET SIDE BECAUSE I KNOW HIM???? what part of i voted him OUT last game, he NOR i have played since which shows you how traumatic it was, like i know he's against me already so im 100% not wanting to work with him. but guess what, if by SOME miracle i survive this tribal, and i would really need a miracle, if a swap comes soon i am 100% going to flip because augusto? dead to me. he can stream jlo for all i care. amir? sorry to this man who i barely know and tried to work with because we had a brief tumblr history together, which i barely knew him then either, clearly i made the right call not associating with him often, kendall, she's perhaps the fakest of them all, she basically messaged me and when i said what were you thinking she said "ive heard austin and connor but i DONT want to vote austin" so in my mind i know its really me or austin so good job, you just told the person you want out that you want them out. my plan now is to simply try to survive right now, and if that means having to vote austin out its what im gonna do, but aj himself has told me amir/augusto would be open to working with me had i proposed some type of alliance to them, so thats my next plan, i hope i can make them want to work with me over kendall/connor, and the 4 of us form a REAL alliance, and if they want austin ill vote austin, at this point i switch into flight or fight mode and as much as i love a good fight, i have to keep my claws put away for this one, no one knows how BAD i want to just call out all of this tribe for lying right to my face and keeping me in the dark for no reason other than a pure coincidence, if they vote me out ill tell them off as i walk out of course, but i really dont want to blow up ajs game and i want this plan to work.... so ive got to shut my big mouth right now and try to outplay as much as i would like to just outscream them all right now.. anywho, its not looking good for me. i have about a 45% chance of survival i feel like, so send me all the positive energy you can because a bitch needs it, god speed yall and ill see you on the other side one way or another...

ugh one last thing i forgot......if im really voted out first and get that cirie hvv treatmeant because in my mind i just WANT to be her.......lets omit this time! no need to update the wiki, we'll press delete and pretend this moment never happened because thats how im going to treat it especially these FAKE ass PHONY ass people. FRAUDS. all of them. like i get it, im a fake bitch at times obviously like thats the game but im not used to people being fake to ME like it hurts especially when you think youre feeling real bonds with people..... i- lemme not start going on and on again. im not a quitter, im a tough cookie, ive had way worst problems in life ive figured out on my own and luckily im not completely alone with aj unless he's just been playing me which then OUCH that would hurt 1000x more but i genuinely dont think he is, at this point i trust him with my life in this game because i feel like he's my key to staying. i need him, and i need augusto/amir, even though they've hurt my feelings and i want my revenge, i have to compose myself and play my cards right, this is a war, not a battle, and while i may lose all at once, i have to play the move i think will most best keep me here one night longer ...

oh gorl ok i promise LAST ONE i just have to get this off my chest! ok so, after thinking about it and smoking a nighttime bowl i'm less UPSET about the possibility of me going home first on the beauty's and now i'm just more confused, augusto did message me back and was saying he'd be interested in my proposed alliance however he could easily be lying to me since he's been lying to me already this whole game however i have no choice other than to try this hail mary, i also think i'm gonna try to plant doubt against kendall because she directly told me she was basically voting me out, so i'm gonna go around and tell people she refused to vote austin out, because she did say that, and hopefully they don't just give in to her bidding. i can't really be mad, we won't be singing amigas cheetahs tonight, but i'm gonna turn my frustration into work, i see multiple scenarios in my head the moment i start to feel the one i'm in is heading south so right now my only chance of making it through is pushing this alliance and testing the connections i've been trying to build, wish me luck if i hear something good from amir there might be a glimmer of hope? probably not but i'll absolutely try just for the good edit of a dramatic tribal dahling

So first off, fuck Skype. Because if Skype wasn't a laggy ass bitch, I would have won that immunity. But it's fine because I don't think I'm going anywhere just yet. It's been very refreshing to have multiple people come up to me and say they want to work with me. Like Jakey obviously has been the person I've been able to talk to openly since Day 2. And I knew Dan and I had a mutual bond that would allow a good amount of trust, so it was nice to see that become much more evident when he came to me to talk game. Now I have Jordan and Ali who both said they want to work with me / guaranteed not write my name down. And Liam is hardcore pitching to me and actually making a lot of sense. So now even though I thought I would go for Liam this round, I actually think I may push for Lovelis to go. It's a weird thought that the person I just finished a game with would be the one I'm going to probably vote tonight, but it may make the most sense for my game. I admittedly also don't think everyone voted out is going to get eliminated. My guess is one of them survive and then we have a swap with 2 tribes of 8, but we shall see!

It’s tribal time y’all! My alliance (me, Amir, Kendall, Connor) had the idea of adding AJ to our circle as it would be super easy to do so as we all are in a challenge chat together which is nice. I do really like AJ now like we’ve really connected these past few days and have had a little duo-bond going on so this 5 person alliance is the best chance for us to get even closer in a game-sense. We all went on call and discussed the topic of Adam versus Austin. While AJ and Amir would prefer to keep Adam, Kendall prefers to keep Austin. I’m genuinely on the fence because I like both of them and they both like me a lot? I tried to rationalize it in a game sense of Austin is slightly more transparent and easier to read while also having a weird social game that would keep one of us over him in a swap scenario. Adam, on the other hand, is probably more dangerous long term as he could cause more damage and his relationship with Jakey is very up in the air in terms how it affects us in a swap. So for the immediate future, Austin would be better to keep around because of a swap but thinking about the long-term, Adam could be better as he could be a shield? It’s interesting like this vote really is about weighing instant gratification versus delayed gratification and seeing which helps us out more?

While on our 5 person alliance chat call, AJ ended up revealing how the idol system works which…. YAAAAASSS we won! A thing that concerned me is that he said someone had already found something which is likely Adam considering he had told Amir about the numbers thing beforehand? That is just my gut telling me that though but it’s something we gotta think about hmmmm… very inch resting.

Not Kendall and I making an alliance with Austin ghfjdsk, it FINALLY happened but it’s kinda silent so far? I’m kinda side-eying Austin as when I talked to him about the vote, he had only mentioned Adam to me whereas he mentioned Adam and Connor to other people so it’s like… do you REALLY trust me? I don’t really know anymore, it’s something to keep in mind though!

We had agreed on voting Adam and not gonna lie, I feel awful about it from a personal standpoint? I really really like Adam like we have so many similarities and common interests so I’ve really grown to appreciate our bond. Adam had mentioned making an alliance with me, him, Amir, and AJ and told me that he wanted to ask me how I felt about that before he told the others because he really values my opinion which made my heart cry. To make matters worse, he told me how he feels he can FINALLY experience a game where he has genuine people he likes to work with and cause damage like AHHHH I feel so bad because a part of me wants to keep him but my loyalty to my people is outweighing that? Like I do genuinely want to keep Adam because he’s amazing and I would feel awful voting him out because I think he’ll take it the most personally from me and I don’t want to be the cause of someone else’s pain/sadness ever yknow? Ugh, it’s just a lot and I probably seem like an emotional mess but I think I have to put more value in my head over my heart in this game and this could be a start?

I went to bed sad about having to vote Adam today and I woke up to Kendall wanting to call me. We go on call and debate whether the fact we wanna vote for Adam to begin with and we were both kinda like… we honestly don’t? Not just because we like Adam but Austin is not being as transparent or present as we would’ve hoped so it kinda helps us make our decision for us? I did tell her about Adam’s alliance proposal because I also want to be as transparent as possible and even flipped it in a way that we can make Adam feel extra comfortable with a false majority so if he does have an idol, we can keep him from ever playing it. Not just that, but we can also convince Adam to vote Austin instead of Connor like he wants to by us falsely stating Connor helped out tons in the challenge and while he won’t be completely active, that’s to our benefit and not a detriment at all. We then got on call with AJ and he agreed with our points so yay for saving Adam? I’m genuinely happy with this especially since Adam does benefit my longer term game and I love him so <3

I am SHAKING right now. It's obviously come down to either between me or Liam L, and it sucks! I didn't want to vote out Liam but my hand has been forced at this point! He's been on away all morning so I've made my move, trying to hit up Ali, Jordan, Jakey, TJ, even Dan (who answered me then went on away c':) I THINK I've done a good job of speaking as to why I'd like to stay? Jordan is keeping me updated and TJ said he will as well, so I hope they're telling the truth..

Since it's been awhile, there are a few things to go over: 1. The alliance between myself/Scott/Duncan/Autumn has been so successful so far. We survived three straight tribal councils after losing three straight competitions. We didn't waiver a single bit from one another and that is so rare in Survivor. 2. Going into this round, I thought my only chance was to enter a tiebreaker against Duncan and try and win in a competition. I pleaded to Scott for his vote, but he was skeptical. 3. With my back up against the wall, I confronted Duncan in hopes of flipping his vote. As a result, a chat between myself/Duncan/Scott was created. 4. As long as Scott/Duncan aren't playing me, this could very well be the fourth tribal council in which I survived with my name being mentioned in three of them. Slithering doesn't always work, but this round has been the toughest one to date.

it's still day 9 and SO much more has already happened... i could be writing to you from the grave with this, but i think, maybe just maybe, i might have a shot at staying now. its so crazy how fast this game really changes, last night i was in a horrible mood (so SORRY to everyone i dragged in my last confessionals my feelings were hurt and i was moody i take it back! especially telling augusto to listen to jlo that was just CRUEL. howvever it was because i thought it was game over me, i saw this major alliance form right in front of my eyes that i was on the outs in, and with the help of AJ, i was able to just maybe infiltrate and create my own counter alliance with some of the people from that majority who just might like me a little bit more. Even if i get voted out tonight, i can go out with my head held high now because even if these people are playing me, ive tried my best and attempted to make some form of a move even if the move is just saving myself, i wanted to maybe work with austin but however i dont see it in the stars for us anymore This is why ive worked hard on maintaining steady social relationships, this right here, because today i made an offical alliance chat with Me, AJ, Augusto, and Amir, and while i definitely still have my doubts about Augusto/Amir, right now im stuck with them. If i want to survive this vote, i need to see if i can trust them, if they are legit about being real to my proposed alliance instead of their other one, theyll vote with me tonight and we'll take baby steps and go from there. I absolutely have been playing the pity card, with all of them and even kendall. I'm making sure people think im just this nice funny person who wants to play the game and have a shot, which is true, but im willing to do anything to stay, its just funny to me how last night i was having a breakdown over everyone saying im a threat and wanting me out, and i didnt completely get it at first, but you know what if the vote really doesnt fall on me tonight and i somehow survive, then maybe theyre right and maybe i am a threat if i can help to flip this whole tribe in a matter of hours. I even begun platning seeds against kendall because i know she was throwing my name around and you most certainly wont get away with that sis. I begun telling people she refused to vote for austin, because she did, she foolishly told me that and now im gonna use it against her. I dont think I can pull off voting her out this round, i need to focus on saving myself, but just know she's awoken the beast and i have her in my future sights. pray for me yall, im playing every single card i can in what could be a hopeless last ditch effort. But i think my odds of staying may really be going up, unless these people are just THAT good at being fake then....they got me gal.

This tribal council is really about to raise my blood pressure huh? Its crazy cause I am quite confident I am not going home tonight, I would say most of the tribe as well feels that way and most i think should. As far as im concerned Myself, Dan (whose immune duh), Ali, Jakey and even TJ knows that its gonna be one of the Liams. Liam is aware that hes at risk cause hes been innactive and is throwing out lovelis name. Lovelis, I think doesnt know hes at risk, which is dumb cause he has not had a good social game so far and just thinks its easy on Liam. It might not be though, Liam has been ramping up his game a bit to try to stay safe (my advice to him of course) and I think it may be working. Obviously I know I can trust Liam and in most other circumstances i think I would work with him without question, however because this is a main season and he played in survivor jordan pines, its such an easy link to us that I just worry how it might affect ME down the road. Obviously if I can keep Liam safe tonight I will, but I am not fighting a hard fight to keep someone who may eventually be a detriment to my game whereas lovelis could be a lot of different possibilites. Im unsure where the road goes now, I think I am gonna call with my alliance of Ali Jakey and Dan later to try to think of a name, we just need to make a decision between the two already so I know which i should be priming up to be a goat for me and which I should cut loose haha.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1LHsOiuD0RNMuor24fzziE04b_iTVsFRD/view?usp=sharing

okay so my video confessional is uploading but i think liam lovelis is doomed! he seems like a king but he needed to put in work to stay this round and i dont think he did unfortunately :(

well, in a sick turn of events, we did NOT swap tribes! in fact we were punished for god knows what as all tribes were required to go to tribal, so immunity was individual! the challenge itself was HELL and i am not going to talk about it other than the fact that i literally could've won if i didn't fuck up the second time. thankfully amir won, so i'm happy! going into tribal, however, i was in the mood to vote either austin or connor. i've kinda connected with everyone else on the tribe totally to the point where i don't want to vote them off right now, and while both are amazing, i ain't really CLICKING with them like that. but to be fair, they both have outside priorities like work and school so i can excuse the lack of conversation. i assumed initially that it was going to be a matter of no one wanting to step on any toes, so there'd just be a bunch of "oh i haven't heard anything yet" and beating around the bush, BUT kendall swooped in and declared our challenge chat from the last immunity (which consisted of her/me/augusto/amir/connor) an alliance, to which we all agreed. obviously i wasn't gonna turn it down! these were people who i really vibed with! it just sucks that someone like adam was a victim of circumstance and isn't able to be able to be apart of the alliance. we all (bar connor) hopped on call to discuss a vote and while it seemed like austin was gonna be the initial vote based off of what everyone was saying, ADAM ended up being the target that night. i played along and just went with it but i knew i had to do something since i wasn't gonna let adam go out like that. i tried to wave the caution of a potential idol play by bringing up the tomb system and how i cracked the code (per adam's hard work), but at the time it only pushed that vote further! we were under the impression that adam was throwing around connor's name, but on the contrary it was austin from what we've gauged. adam went to augusto i believe and brought up that he's heard connor, which only could've came from austin! this is where the conversation itself started to take a turn, so the vote went from adam to adam(?). everyone dispersed and like 5 minutes later i called adam DJKALSJFKJ. i had to let him know what was going on! he, of course, began panicking and started plotting on how he'd bounce back from this and i was a little weary at first. one thing i didn't want him to do was throw me under the bus or snap, it wouldn't his or my game for that matter. so i suggested he try to craft an alliance with myself, augusto, and amir. while he doesn't really trust the latter and plans on flipping in the event a swap comes, i knew that it'd be way harder for the vote to NOT be adam if he put them in this kind of position that austin isn't offering them. i went to sleep and when we woke up, kendall proposed another call! thankfully, she suggested flipping to austin, to which augusto and i agreed, because honestly adam does NOT deserve to be the first person gone from this tribe. so like that the vote went from adam to austin and things were pretty cemented, with it not changing as of the time i'm writing this. we're currently under the impression that austin is voting connor, which is fine since we got connor's blessing to keep his name out there since we DID here it, and it's best to keep adam feeling safe. ugh the way i was expecting a HEADACHE this morning if things didn't start the change like oh brother... bless up. p.s. chrissy hofbeck let me DOWN. i love that queen but she replied to my dm for the first challenge which was almost over a week ago today?! wow chrissy.

So we're just a couple hours until tribal; essentially the whole tribe has agreed to do Lovelis at this point, and now somehow Lovelis knows that Liam had been targeting him. A couple people think that Ali is the reason why, but there's a chance it was me who actually is at fault because I confirmed it to Lovelis after he asked a second time, but I'm not going to full out admit that there was a chance that it was me (other than explaining the first half of my convo) because people doubting Ali is actually going to be kind of decent for my game. Ali is a huge threat moving forward and I trust Jakey, Dan, and Jordan more than him at the moment, so if it poses some doubt... it may not be the worst thing in the world. Russell hat might be out today ;)

okay so i have a video confessional uploading but i unfortunately think liam lovelis is going home! i love him so much he is so lovely, but i think he didn't put the work he needed to, to stay. would love to work with him in a different game, in a different situation but am sad it wasn't to be. i love my brawn men and i'm SO SAD that we are probably going to be separated. also im so sick and alyssa is gonna wonder who the old crone wheezing on call is and its me

So I won immunity hehehehe we love being masc and winning comps. But anyway I’m happy I’m safe going into the triple tribal. It’s all I really wanted. Should be an easy vote. Lovelis is just like not around enough. And he’s connected to TJ, so it will be nice having TJ somewhat to myself without distraction? That’s probably not actually the truth but let’s pretend it is.

Adam wants to make an alliance with me and Augusto and Aj, but like, fuck. It’s too late. The 3 of us are already with Connor and Kendall, but Adam is being genuine and honest with us and it’s just really sad that this is the way this has to go down. If I was in his position I’d be so sad, so it’s making this game hard, but the logical part of me knows that eliminating him at this moment is the right move . I haven’t played these games in almost 3 years, and I know that you have to be a predator in this game, not prey, and you can’t let your emotions stop you from positioning yourself as best as possible. Do what u gotta do and feel bad later ! But for the record, I do feel damn awful for this , sorry adam

What in the fuck I literally woke up and my alliance wants to KEEEEP ADAMMMMMM KDJDJDSNSJSNKDNDKDDNDND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CANNOT TELL IF IM HAPPY OR PISSED OFFFFFF I can work with Adam, and I can be tight with him, but the alliance known that Adam told me about numbers on the blog and i made ppl think he has the idol, so as long as Kendall Augusto and Aj don’t spill those beans to Adam, him staying is still okay in my game, this just puts me in a slight risk zone, it’s a loose end And I don’t really know how to go about it I’m not gonna try and convince them to remove Adam when he obviously trusts me Kendall is a damn crackhead I love her tho like in a weird way I really do trust her??? I feel like I can read her pretty well I literally can’t go to sleep without my alliance changing fucking everything I CANT SLEEEEP ever again huh Chile... tbis is our first vote and I’m ??

is it against the rules to go to my alliance members houses one by one and jump them?

Amir u stupid ass bitch... dipping my hands into too many cookie jars i got close with adam and then distanced from him cuz he was leaving and now i got to get closer again cuz hes staying. but adam likes me and augusto the most on the tribe i think me and augusto are the closest with everyone on our tribe and that makes him my biggest social threat, but hes also my closest ally so like this is good at this stage, we have a lot of pull

youtube

okay so this twist is crazy and i'll like properly articulate my thoughts tomorrow but all i want to say is everytime autumn messages me i get such a rush of seretonin - wow do i stan her.

These are my pre-triple tribal thoughts https://youtu.be/18jIBeTw_lY

Well well it seems these bitches haven't got rid of me yet. I don't feel they will give me a chance to actually be back in the game but I'm gonna fight my ass off to try. I love the game and I dont go down easy. I'll kiss ass or do whatever I have to do to save myself . Tumblr survivor gods please please please be with me

hey you guys its me adam and im coming to you from the survivor afterlife because they succeeded and just voted me ou- wait.... wait a minute, wait what?? the hator beauties DIDNT vote me out?????? GORL i am counting my blessings that my dumbass somehow survived the first vote, ESPECIALLY after finding out my name was not only thrown out there, but that it was a LOCKED plan. Literally sent me into a whole tizzy and caused me to doubt my self worth because i felt so bad about my gameplay but BITCH, i still got it. Yes, the rumors are true, you CANT kill a bad bitch. MANY THANKS TO AJ. I absolutely give credit where credit is due, if it weren't for aj telling me about the plan to get me out, i never would have played as hard as i did today, before i went to bed last night i basically talked to everyone, kendall/amir/augusto and was just making sure they all heard me out, i played up big time that i wanted to just be here for the team, and how BADLY i wanted to be able to play with loyal people, especially when i made the alliance chat for me/amir/augusto/aj because aj told me they did say theyd be open to an alliance with me so i think me doing all that and then of course aj's impact from the inside definitely lead everyone to change their minds and so then today the plan was shifted to austin i didnt want to vote austin honestly, but at that point it was me or him and my instincts always are fine with it, AS LONG AS IT AINT ME. PERIOD. They absolutely made the wrong choice though, because especially LEARNING all the information i did, ill never trust a single person on this tribe again, except aj, and i will absolutely be looking for the cracks and to possibly flip in. also after tribal , we got bombarded with this twist, SOMEONE IS COMING BACK FROM ONE OF THESE 3 TRIBALS???AND WE'RE ON A ONE WORLD BEACH NOW??? gorl its time to get to WORK, immediately upon entering this beach with everyone, austin messages ALL the beauties swearing he wants to work with us still if we bring him back- but then goes and messages EVERY other person, and here's the best part- INCLUDING THE OTHER PEOPLE VOTING TO COME BACK IN AJFSDKH LIKE WHAT HE ASKED DEVON TO VOTE HIM BACK IN I WAS SCREAMING austin, thank you for showing the beauties we made the right choice, and hopefully we pull it off and you dont come back, sorry nothing against you though!!! im immediately leaning towards bringing devon back, because well the brains are just not really a threat at the moment and the last thing we need is braun gaining a number on us. Austin also told me my name was an option for the vote from tribal, which i completely was aware of but had to act like i didnt know because i didnt want aj exposed, HOWEVER now that austin has brought this up i can freely mention it to whomever now, so i immediately bring it up in my chat with amir/augusto and lemme tell yall.... ive never heard a silence quite this loud. whats wrong? yall dont wanna be honest with me about having a whole alliance just to conspire to vote me out????? this was a test from me, i gave them the oppurtunity to come clean and they refused. it shows me i clearly cant trust them, but again, until i know what the hell is going on in this game now, im stuck with them until i can make a move against them. kendall also came to me saying "hey can i ask you something" so i go sure gal whats the tea and she asks me "was i an option for the vote because austin said i was" so i was like omg no! of course not!!! because realistically she wasnt, even though she absolutely shouldve been for daring to raise her tongue against me IM ONTO YOU SIS... i know exactly what shes doing, she knows austin is telling me i was an option so shes probably hoping by telling me that i wont believe austin, but silly girl, i already knew about all yall's trifling ways!!! anyway, send fucking help we need it, the beauties are the FAKEST group on this island. im having better conversations with people from the other tribes i dont even know during this one world twist... also was able to catch up with jakey....that was interesting, we always have great convos because like we just know each other so well, and he's acting like he's forgivven and forgotten about challengers vs. champions, but i know him well enough to know he's NOT going to trust me this game because well...if i were him i absolutely wouldnt trust me either, we're kinda like parvati/amanda in hvv. Ill keep him on my backburner, incase we swap and im with him i at least want a fighting chance, if i HAVE to work with him but i probably will end up having to target him because i know him all too well and how he plays, its dangerous for EVERYONE. (but mostly for me, which is what's most important)

Of course it wasn't a swap! That would be too easy!!!!!!!!! No we had to make it as dramatic as fucking possible and vote some sap back into the game!!!! UGH Well, at least this gives us all time to scout out the competition. And believe you me it has taken a lot of will power to not compulsively make another alliance. I mean, I did, but like with Jordan Pines so that doesn't count. I have reunited with my Survivor Dad Scott, my pizza molester friend Liam, former Gorlley Duncan, and my former arch enemy Jakey. I say former but Jakey clearly doesn't see me that way. He still had me on block and allegedly the first thing he messaged Adam was if "it was safe to unblock me". Like dude, Neverland was 4 years ago get a grip. I mean yeah, I'm playing up the arch enemy aspect on my side but that's more for my own amusement/Adam's loyalty. I genuinely didn't have an opinion on him anymore. I mean, I do NOW but I assure you it is purely built on self defense. Admittedly, I wasn't on my best behavior during that time and I will apologize for it but damn dude keep my name out of your mouth. Speaking of people who won't shut the fuck up, we have Austin!!!!!! He has made a point to swear loyalty to Brains, Brawn and Beauty. Which I get you have only 24 hours to find safety but like do better. He also told Adam that we were targeting him at first tribal council, which is admittedly accurate but also incredibly inconvenient for the rest of us. Luckily Adam seems to hold us in higher regard plus I miggghhhhhtttttt have lied to him a wittle wit in order to make him doubt Austin. 9:49 PM Hey can I ask you a question? Adam, 9:52 PM omg of course 9:53 PM Was I an option for last tribal? Adam, 9:53 PM omg 9:53 PM It’s okay if I was but you have to tell me if my name was written down Adam, 9:54 PM absolutely not??? like im not even joking i did not HEAR your name once or even consider you myself and if anyone else did they never said it to me did austin tell you that? I know every season I'm very insistent on how evil I am but I genuinely believe this season I've crossed several ethical boundaries. Like damn, I voted out my first game ally, I tricked both AJ and Adam into thinking they are in a position of power, and now this bullshit? I genuinely hope that this doesn't blow up in my face cause it very well could but if it doesn't... well now I have a spare ally. So obviously Austin is not coming back under any circumstances. Which leaves the two other schmucks: Lovelis and Devon. Lovelis has yet to message me anything and Devon has been a fun conversation. So... as you can see this is going to be a very tough call. I am going to have to pray on it :/. What's that Survivor Jesus? You think we should save Devon? Ehhhh let me talk to Survivor Buddha first, I'll get back to you.

just as much i know yall wish i would shut up these people CONTINUE TO TRY ME AND PUSH MY BUTTONS AND I CANT TRUST ANYONE CLEARLY SO I HAVE TO COME HERE TO RUN MY BIG MOUTH basically, i wake up this morning and while i know austin is just on a beauty tribe crusade throwing us all under the bus to try and get the votes back in, which i completely cant blame him for anyone considering we all did blindside him, HOWEVER i decided to message him again this morning and try and get some more tea out of him, i figure if he's hear i may as well hear him out now, in no way shape or form do i plan on voting for him to come back into the game, but i want this information for my own good, so i decide to ask him who all was telling him to vote for me and what was said, and he tells me that kendall, amir, and augusto all said my name AND that apparently they were calling me a rat too?? now, i know, he's desperate so he'll say whatever, but i firmly believe there's usually a little truth to every lie, so upon finding this out i decide im sick of holding it in, so i message augusto and amir to basically call them out. i wanted to play it very carefully because once again its a test of trust, are they gonna be upfront with me and let me know i was on the chopping block, even if they were considering voting for me as long as they told me, id possibly be able to move foward with them, but again, just like last night, i mention it today and i get LIED TO. augusto wants to play dumb and say "omg i never said that! why would i ever say that about you?!" well idk, why would you act like you're my friend and wanna work with me only to join a super alliance behind my back and make a plan to vote me out? he's lied to my face now more than once and so with that, CANCELLED. Amir at least told me he heard my name but guess what he obviously wasnt gonna do it, which is still a lie i know they all agreed to my name because of aj, but at least amir didnt completely undermine my intelligence and lie to me about it. THESE PEOPLE REALLY THINK IM ADAM THE CLOWN, ADAM THE FOOL, ADAM THE DUMMY WHO CANT FIGURE ANYTHING OUT, WELL GUESS WHAT BEAUTIES. I DID. i completely feel like sandra on the villains tribe, i cant STAND these people anymore and what annoys me more than them lying to me, is them thinking theyre clever enough to trick me with this stupid ass lie kendall made up about how austin was saying the vote was on her like gorl plea we still have a few hours on this one world beach, so i decide now is my time to START planting seeds to make my move. i have to be extremely careful here, because while the beautiues have completely enraged me and awoke the beast within, im absolutely gonna return their fakery with absolutely fraudulentism. yall wanna lie to me? ok game on, ill lie 10x as hard to you now. i obvioulsy want to just blow my top and make them feel stupid because i know theyre lying, but i have to be smart, for all i know after this person comes back, we could very well head to our same tribes still, or i end up with a beauty majority and i need them to think im with them .. BUT GOOD GOD PLEASE GIVE ME A TRIBE SWAP, AT THIS POINT ID PROBABLY GET MORE STIMULATING CONVERSATIONS WITH TREES THAN THIS TRIBE. Whoever told them they were beautiful people actually lied to them because theyre all UNQUALIFIED to be on the beautys. at this point i want devon to come back, ive had nice little convos with him and im trying to talk to all the brains to be quite honest because, if it were up to me, i would absolutely flip and work with the brains if they would allow me to work with them because clearly i cant trust the beauties???? HELL, I MIGHT EVEN HAVE TO WORK WITH JAKEY IF HE'D TRUST ME JUST BECAUSE I OBVIOUSLY CANT TRUST THEM??? the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and at this point, the beauties are my enemy. im really hoping my big mouth doesnt get me in trouble because i could be talking to these brains and they very well could go behind my back to the other beauties and im voted off soon, but im hoping they just realize based on the convos im trying to have with them, that im absolutely open to flipping, the beauties may be the devil i know but id rather go home trying to make a move rather than just sitting on the bottom waiting to be picked off, and if the beauties think im gonna just be that person, they made a grave mistake in not voting me out then. If youre gonna throw my name out there, vote me out because i guarantee once i hear it, ill never trust you again. in conclusion, this video about sums up how i feel about the rest of the beauties: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_iM4Z8FkQg

Jeff Probst Voice: And meanwhile on One World Jakey teaches Kendall how food delivery works. djfadklajdkfajkfdjafklds; I feel like a bit of an ass. Me and Jakey talked it over, turns out neither of us entirely remember what our feud was about. We also agreed to be a secret duo while playing up our 'alleged" animosity. I'm keeping him at arms length because I don't entirely trust him but he's easy to talk to, and who am I to decline a free ally. Austin meanwhile continues to spiral further. I feel kind of bad honestly but not enough to save him. He apparently told Adam that we called him a rat? Which, we did a lot of things to Adam but nothing directly disparaging his personality. He's a really pleasant and nice person, he's so pleasant and nice everyone else in the alliance was super reluctant to vote for him while his name was on the table. Which was kind of infuriating at the time but now that we are dealing with this shit storm it's a nice quality. Devon is laying it on thick with me. He has said shit like "I'm rooting for you in the VL" and " I obviously want YOUR trust more than anything in this game" okay that one in hindsight could be a reference to needing a vote. On the other hand he's been very straightforward about not making any promises and I really respect that. It's interesting how everyone wants him back, including the people who voted him out. Which makes me curious, did they plan for this? Lovelis is still a non entity... tribal is in like an hour and fifteen minutes you think he'd pop in with a sup or something? In terms of the idol talk, Jordan and I have compared notes. I told him that Adam probably has it and he told me everyone on his tribe knew about the numbers. So... if we switch it up or go back we can double check and look to see if it's there. I don't entirely trust people on the outside. Don't get me wrong I get along splendidly with Brain and 4 out of the 6 Brawn players seem to enjoy my company. But my loyalty first and foremost belongs to the beauties. You know that, I know that, now let's keep them from figuring that part out. ;)

okay so, i survived my first tribal. my anxiety was really acting up and i like astral-projected during it, but i survived which is what counts. i've tried to take today off because i dont want this game to be ali has an emotional meltdown the entire time and i think im doing okay. anyway SO liam lovelis went home and i really like him but its also like, he really was not putting in the work to stay, and i really respected Liam M's hustle! so it was what happened, and him fighting Liam M was kinda mean JASKDF like idk what he expected Liam M to do instead, it was just the way things shook out. okay and then we have this crazy twist.. the hosts really really said you are anxious? time to get anxious-er. so we are voting either devon, austin or lovelis back into the game. lovelis has fully gone ghost (at least for me), and i think he is kinda done with the game so i think its gonna be between austin and devon. i think devon is who is going to come back, he is handling this perfectly just chilling and being straight up. otherwise so the people i have spoken to since is: Duncan - a king!! he is one of my oldest org friends, he has a different energy now, am determined to prove to him i'm not annoying anymore - loved that he admitted to me he used to find me annoying Augusto - he is really lovely, already clearly MEGA social which is really scary! i like him a lot tho could be a good person in a swap Devon - seems like a king get good energy from him. think he is painting austin as messier than he is and is spreading the narrative of austin making deals but im not fussed austin- seems sweet but idk if he has handled this round right AJ - a king i like his energy!! but yes hopefully devon comes back and i get a good swap... that we pray for

This was such a simple game when I just had me and my cute lil alliance of 4 and that was just 2 days ago.So much has happened in the past 2 days. -Our alliance of 4 creates an alliance of 5 with aj included. -Adam makes a 4 person alliance of me aj and Augusto. - the vote goes to Adam and we all tell everyone it’s Adam, and then it’s changed to a Austin - Austin wants back and to end the beauties. Also exposed us to Adam -Devon wants to come back but brains also want him back, -Duncan wants to work with me -duncan is super tight with Scott and autumn and wants me to get close to them - I’m getting close to jakey, and building a bond with Jordan and dan. - an interesting dynamic is that Duncan doesn’t like Ali, Duncan loves autumn, and autumn loves Ali. - Adam and jakey are also at odds

OH MY FUCKING GODDDDD I JUST ... HAD AN EPIPHANY AND IM PROBABLY BEING INSANE, but i think... i think that adam and aj are super close and have a final 2. The vote was originally adam, but the night after we told aj, adam compaigned hard and we all changed our minds. Furthermore, they both knew about the idol system. FURTHERMORE, adam was like "i feel like im missing out on so much" during the unscramble challenge but he had no way of knowing we were all on call. They both know l'shei, they both have the same emoji in their name, they both just replied to me saying something similar at the same time. It is basically all coming together in my head and long story short, we fucked up. Augusto, connor, and kendall have no idea how much we really fucked up but this all could be me making shit up but idk idk ahahahahahahhahahahhahahahaha we r FUCKED AJ HAS AN ALLIANCE WITH ME AND AUG KEND CONNOR IF HE TOLD ADAM LMAAOOOOO WE R FUCKKEDDD

WHEW this game, this game. Y'all have taken me on so many emotions in the past 48 hours I couldn't even stop to processing winning Survivor Reels lmaaaaooo. Y'all really had me do that ugly counting challenge, where I messed up twice and ended up with 5 points only for my Skype to stop working for a good 2+ hours. Then Scott won immunity, which meant I had to kill either my dad Duncan or my bb Devon, which was super darksided. THEN after all that and saying my dramatic ass goodbyes, y'all pull out a buyback??? https://i.imgur.com/kQ6umpV.gif BUT ITS OK BECAUSE NOW I GET TO KEEP BOTH AND THE DADS ARE STILL TOGETHER!!! Devon is staying and we been knew. You know I love him if I'm not even mad that he voted me so everyone remember this moment cause that's usually grounds for dismissal in my world. But ugh I'm so happy y'all don't even know. I've really hit it off with a few people too so I'm just feeling myself. I fucking love Augusto we are the same person no lie and I'm also a big fan of Adam, Jakey, and Amir. So even if I get separated from the dads, I can make this work. I'm ready to swap and I just gotta keep misting man after man which I can definitely handle https://media1.tenor.com/images/fe32b9e859965acabe245a41b77e2153/tenor.gif?itemid=4608580

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBquewn3tnw

#BackWithVengeance

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enchantmentb · 7 years

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More GoT ramblings

Okay, maybe I’m really reaching here, but did anyone else react to these lines between Littlefinger and Sansa in the last episode:

Sansa: “What do you want Lord Baelish?”

LF: “I want you to be happy. I want you to be safe.”

Sansa: “I am safe, I’m at home surrounded by friends. I have Brienne to protect me from anyone who would harm me.”

*paus*

LF: “What about happy?”

*paus*

LF: “Why aren’t you happy? What do you want that you do not have?”

Sansa: (evading the question) “At the moment, peace and quiet.”

First of all, she doesn’t say “surrounded by family”, only “surrounded by friends”. She doesn’t mention Jon, only Brienne, when it comes to protecting her. Which is a bit odd.

Second of all, either LF is grasping here, or he is actually picking up on Sansa feeling unhappy (he does know her quite well after all). Anyway, in this particular scene he seems to be right, Sansa doesn’t lock very happy.

Third, Sansa looks unhappy while watching Tormund trying to flirt with Brienne. Coincidence or conspiracy?

I think there are several options for this scene, maybe some playing out at once:

1. The writers want us to believe Sansa is truly unhappy and that the thing she wants that she cannot have is being Queen in the North, something LF is smugly picking up on. The writers thus teasing us further with ~Starkbowl~ and paving the way for us doubting Sansa’s real intentions later on.

2. Sansa is totally playing LF and makes him believe she’s unhappy about not being queen, as part of a plan to finally get rid of him.

3. There is a double entendre going on here and that the thing she’s unhappy about wanting but not having could be....Jon? She is watching Tormund flirt with Brienne after all. Maybe this makes her long for something similar? Perhaps subconsciously? Earlier on we saw Sansa having a heated conversation with Jon where she tried to reach him - both intellectually, emotionally and physically - but he seemed to want to keep her at a distance. She looked at him in a soft and caring - one might even say loving - way during parts of the conversation, she even tried to grab his hand to reach through at the end, but they were interrupted. Maybe she’s starting to get feelings...? As I said, probably reaching, but that was actually my first thought when I saw the ep.

Other than that (babbling on today lol), seriously why on earth are D&D giving us all these Ned/Cat & Jon/Sansa parallels if that’s going nowhere? It’s starting to get RIDIC at this point.

Either they are:

* Planting a red herring. (To divert us from Jon/D@ny?) But what a truly lousy red herring in that case lol. No one seems to pick up on it except Jonsa shippers...? Like wtf? I have yet to see ONE recent review or YouTube reaction where this is even mentioned.

* I honestly don’t know. I’m sort of blanking on ideas for a second option. All this being....accidental? Ridiculous I know. D&D wants something with it, but other than Jonsa I can’t figure out what that would be.

* Third option: Jonsa is endgame and this is how D&D build up to it. And it’s not only the N&C parallels btw - that sudden focus on the hand touching during their argument, wtf? What are D&D doing if not showing a growing sexual tension? Are they pulling our leg with this whole thing? I’m honestly asking. Not to mention the evident Cersei/Jaime parallels. Cutting from one scene with a pair of quarrelling husband-wife-type siblings to another. One pair is drifting further apart, one pair is drifting closer. One pair is already lovers (but will probably not be), one pair will be...?

If ANYTHING is a red herring btw it’s Sansa becoming Cersei. I mean, what would even be achieved by that? She is obviously the student who will surpass her masters, ie LF and Cersei. She won’t end up like Cersei, she has learnt from her to not make the same mistakes. Huge difference. But I understand why they’re teasing this possibility, obviously to keep the “Starkbowl drama” alive lol. They will probably want us to believe that Sansa will betray Jon/the Starks until the very last minute or something when there will be a ~shocking twist.

It’s so weird though, Jonsa shippers being the only ones picking up on the Ned/Catelyn & Jon/Sansa parallels/weird overall tension. (Are there others? I haven’t noticed.) The only exception I’ve come across is a cute nerd on The Young Turks lol reviewing the show who actually predicted “They will f*ck.” from the head kiss scene. 😂

We’ll see about that. 😊

#jonsa #jon and sansa #jon x sansa #jon snow #sansa stark

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survivor-kuwait · 5 years

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Episode 8 - “These bitches really do be getting on my nerves” - Chloe

rip stevie :( in the aftermath of that tribal that legit just felt like one massive personal attack i decided to go do some homework bc something felt off to me!! madison was out there whining about OMG BEING IN THE WARZONE THE WHOLE TIME BOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO and yet lmao she's either been "excused" or gotten a strike for deadass just not doing the challenges. the jig is uP! i think it's fairly obvious people are just using the warzone as a way to build relationships and i mean who can blame them, but her whole pity party at these tribals needs to stop. my mood towards her has definitely soured in the last hour lol i'm over it fam. also i've been talking to ian since the tribal to get some tea since tommy is legitimately useless. i'll like ask him what happened at tribal and he literally just goes "oh i just heard his name from everyone" shrug emoi LIKE!! WOULD IT KILL YOU TO FIND SOME MORE TEA OUT... anyways i find out from ian that cullan apparently brought up that they should target timmy for challenge prowess, to which ian said he shot down due to that being a slippery slope which soon leads to him. if that's true i'm v glad that that got shot down bc that's, in my mind, a shot fired at me. GIRRRRRL, like just leave me alone i shouldn't be fucking persecuted bc half of you guys are throwing challenges and i've actually been doing them. that doesn't mean shit.

youtube

I was able to get 217 seconds on the slide puzzle. Would I get any better? 🤷‍♂️ I dont think so. I have my graduation today so hopefully this score is enough.

not gonna lie I compleeeeetely COMPLETELY forgot about the chall until this morning when I was walking to class and my dumbass is at class and work and class again until 10 pm today so I don’t rlly have a MOUSE on me..... cut to me desperately and embarrassingly texting my classmates asking them to bring a mouse to class for me nnnn this is not gonna go well. maybe it’ll be good for me to go to war zone anyways I guess

Hi sisters! Last vote was super easy. It was like “Stevie k?” “K.” But also even though I feel like I’m a big part of the decision making process for every vote, I never get less nervous that everyone is lying to me! Strategic playing, or crippling trust issues? You decide.

These bitches really do be getting on my nerves

Its almost graduation time and im sooo nervous and excited. It would be nice to not be in warzone tonight. Please survivor gods help me.

Well this is a crucial immunity. After being out of the war zone for 2 in a row I feel at this point I am a little outside the people who have been there so many times. I think I have some strong bonds with some players but I do not that a couple have it out for me. Namely Madison and Jacob, which at this point I fed they should be over the whole Renee vote but that’s their prerogative.

Sooooo Final 15 baby! Honestly Im so proud of this time around on my TS journey cause Im actually liking the individual competition portion of this game. Its like the merge part of any Survivor game but with a "tribal competition" aspect. Meaning that I only have to worry about me, myself, and I and I love that. I just need to show that Im the bad bitch that is in control and take this game by the fucking reins and show it who's boss. Aint no way Im gonna get 15th, 14th or 12th again madam. No way.

Reinke

---

I survived, yeet. Kait survived, yeet. Ian went in, f*ck. Maynor went in, f*ck. Chloe went in, f*ck. Adrian went in...yeet.

Hello! I am safe again, 2nd time in a row? Idk. I do like Kait but I don't entirely trust her. I think I can use her for a bit as she'll believe she's using me. If I have the chance to get her out before or early merge, I will. Thomas is the most boring person in this game. I have yet to meet Timmy but I doubt anyone can beat Thomas in this feat. Talking to him is like talking to a wall. A white wall too. Also, he has no manners, demands favours and doesn't say please or thank you... The second I have the chance, he's gone. Nehe should've stayed, not him. Otherwise, Ian and I are working on some kind of power together for battleship. I really do like Ian. I hope we can make it far together, he's my number 2 after Owen. Together, we have the Topaz Idol and a potential save vote and a potential new power. Maynor and I have been socializing and friendly, I want him gone sooner than later but he's not a priority. He isn't great in comps generally. Still love Trace and I do trust him to an extent. I dislike Stephen, would like to see him leave relatively soon. I don't trust him at all. On the other side, Matt is going to tribal and him and I have built quite a bit of trust previously, I hope he makes it. I'm happy Cullan and Owen and Adrian are safe as I trust all 3 to certain extents. I would like Timmy to go due to his comp prowess and due to the fact we have yet to interact, but he's immune, again. I hope Chloe makes it out okay. I also hope Devon makes it out alive. I love that guy. I think Devon, Chloe, Trace and Ian can work together though! Matt could join with them as him and Devon were big parts of the Renee vote. Madison and Maynor, who were both left out of that vote, could see their way out which is A-okay by me. Jacob was also left out of this vote but I think Ian won't target him, just my two cents. I see Jacob as a better ally for me down the road compared to Madison or Maynor. That being said, I like many people in this game. I think my social game is strong. I do need to be careful with my words as some may catch on. And I may find myself at tribal with 7 ppl I like. I have my hierarchy of allies in my mind and I know who's at the bottom of my totem poll, I just hope I can get those who aren't even on it out first. I'm also a comp threat. Usually, I can lurk in the shadows more easily but with the dynamic and my low level of comfort with risk, competition prowess combined with my social game, though flashy, is what I'm betting on to keep myself safe. Owen and Kait and Timmy's competition prowess outshines mine and people peg Madison as the socialite who throws/does not complete comps to be in warzone. As long as there are some who play flashier than me, I'll be okay. Until next time!

I found a Rock Saver with the help of Corey, chill but I'm more than happy to send that over to him the second I'm back from warzone. That is such a situational power and there aren't really alliances yet to risk rocks for, but when there are it will be within Corey and I's power to use. Again, I'll play the idol to survive if I need to, but I'll do everything I can to prevent having to play it at f16, the jury doesn't care about what happens in the premerge portion of the game.

---

It's going to be Jacob or Madison this round. Idol or bust, Cancer will take a hit, because fuck cancer. I'm done with the waiting for someone to take out players who have been just chilling in the Warzone, I'm done with the throwing challenges, I'm done with the deceit. The Warzone is not redemption island, you can't feed me a fish and send me on my way to build your jury presence. Madison is sans her warzone buddies, she's vulnerable besides Jacob. Let's go!

I may be in the war zone rn but Ian is here and I have fuckin missed that boi so yanno pros and cons

I so so so do not want to be here at Warzone again. This vote is probably the most complicated thus far because at this point I need a lot of things to go a very specific way in order for people to not realize I’m in the middle. Devon trusts me and wants to go with Ian’s plan to vote our Madison or Jacob and Madison and Maynor want to vote Ian which I would also like. However at this point I need to make everyone happy and the odds of doing that are so slim. I just have to convince Maynor wnd Madison to vote Jacob or Devon to vote Ian and neither one is the path of least resistance. I’m on the path of MOST resistance and by path I mean 1 inch wide tightrope suspended over hungry sharks.

I was not that surprised when I got voted out. I did not expect it because voting out Stephen did in fact seem like a plausible option and i felt that between him and myself it was kinda similar. It was believable that he would be voted off, but I totally understand why I was voted off. The interesting part about it to me is I think I was the least connected person in the game and I can see how that can get dangerous in merge because those people can flip a lot, but right now I thought it might've been a good opportunity to gain me as a number. I think this tribal was my first interaction with Trace and Ian. I did like them and I liked talking to them and I think I had potential to work with them if the plan of voting me out wasn't already in place. There were a few people I did not talk to that round because i didn't think I should've had to reach out to EVERYONE in order to talk to them. I just think there are alliances that have formed that i am not a part of because the decision-making for these votes is kinda weird and I don't always understand the motives. So to me an alliance i am not a part of makes the most sense. I was very excited about the lagoon though. I am hoping I get a chance to come back because that would be lit. I just need to stick it out through these votes and I am hoping Renee is connected to at least one of the other three so we can stay. Kinda glad Nehe is gone. I think he was bad for my game

Devon has been a godsend so far today, I talked to him last night about wanting Jacob or Madison out and he has up and ran with it. Devon being the face on this vote? Yes please, I don't want to blow back on me if it flips.

I actually have people working with me and talking to me this round? 😮😮😮 crazy that maybe these people have finally stopped trying to get me fucking out

Trying to talk to cullan rn and I can’t decide if it’s more or less difficult than talking to Thomas. He’s sent like three one word answers now.... Me: you doing anything exciting this weekend!? Cullan: Graduating. Ummmm ok hoe sounds real exciting hskshdjd like elaborate? Oh well I’m not answering. I tried to reach out bc my social game is ass rn but I’m not putting myself thru that today!!!! I miss Kait :( and I want to talk to corey :(((( grrrr they the real ones. And matt. Have yet to have a stimulating conversation with literally anyone else in this game. Wait ok actually I do like Timmy and madison SJSU’s je but madison busy too and Timmy sends LONG messages. Why can’t I have an in BETWEEN!!

I'm definitely going to see at least one vote tonight, I'm nervous about it because if people flip on me instead of voting Jacob I'll be dead to rights because I will not play my idol unless another idol is played. My thought process is that if I need my idol to save myself from a majority vote tonight then I wasn't bound to go far in this game anyway. I'll take my ball(advantages) and go home. 5 people told me they are voting Jacob, Matt told me Jacob is voting for me, if I'm being fed bullshit by everyone then that's just how the cookie crumbles.

Today has been quiet but people have brought up that Jacob and Madison are a strong duo. Matt was able to put the target on Jacob. It could be a 4-4 tie but Matt Madison n I might just go with majority and vote Jacob.

As per usual, I have no idea if I made a confessional about this or not. I can’t believe I won immunity, like I didn’t even have computer access. And i got 3rd so i had some margin to be safe (granted Adrian got 4th with one second more than me but still). That was the first time I did the puzzle because my other times were worse. If I was doing it on a computer my time would’ve been so much better so idk what happened with everyone else. And today Owen messaged me saying he feels kind of fucked because he hasn’t been to tribal in ages, which might be true but also he can probably win a lot of immunities come merge and people like him. I’m happy to work with him right now because we both have a lot of challenge wins but honestly I want him to go earlier on in merge because he is good at getting quick social connections.

oof mama, what a round this is panning out to be. First of all, I felt personally victimized by that challenge. The Ard tribe is full of some SERIOUS competitors, and that's the reason that I will most likely continue to show up at these stupid war zones until we merge. Fucking Kait has made it this far without going to the war zone at all, which is putting SUCH A LARGE target on her back. bUt whatever, it's just frustrating being on a tribe of people that probably do online puzzles for fun. So this round is interesting. After last round's unanimous vote, I feel a lot more comfortable working with certain people in the game. Ian has kind of solidified his spot as my number one in this game (more to come about that too). He came to me and was like we NEED to make a move against Madison/Jacob. He said he knows that Madison is a challenge threat, but is purposely trying to lose the challenges so that she can make connections with people in the war zone. Though he had made some points, I really don't think Madison is that smart to figure out how to do that. I really just think she is busy/not prioritizing and keeps showing up here. She seems pretty innocuous. That being said, she has become a bit of a social threat, slipping by all of these rounds without having to really do much. BUT, I do trust her and don't want her to be sent packing quite yet. Jacob, her star sign partner, on the other hand, can go. He doesn't talk at all, and when he doesn't they're boring one word answers. So I had pretty much set my heart on Jacob even though he is on our tribe, making my chances higher of showing up here if we keep doing the war zone format. To make matters more interesting, I talked a bit more to Matt this round and he told me that Madison and Jacob were gunning for Ian this round. Madison claims she is good with voting for Jacob, but everyone else says they seem to be a strong pair. I went straight to Ian with this and then he TOLD ME HE HAD AN IDOL. Honestly I am so happy to know he has it and not someone against me, because that's going to be some great information to have later on down the road. I think he is really paranoid, but at this point I just really cannot tell who is lying and telling the truth. I am hoping that people are being truthful and going to actually vote for Jacob, but I am trying to figure out who exactly has been saying Ian's name. It's ultimately going to be up to him whether he wants to play the idol this round but oof, if I were him, I'd be sweating. SO we shall see, but lord knows I'm shaking in my loafers!

#survivorstarzone #episodes

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skeletonwoman · 8 years

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Flying (Avengers)

this is the third part! I finally made it! Yeeee boii

falling // flipping // flying (I hate this title so much but it’s all i’ve got i’m so pathetic)

“Heh, heh, look.” You sniggered, tracing a finger around the small circular and jagged scar. “Looks like I got shot, I’m so badass.”

“You’re a joke.” Clint says firmly and you can’t help scoffing at him.

“I’m a whole comedy show if anything. I’m a comedy show for charity, people beg to be in my line-up.” You snap, voice sour and the four Avengers surrounding you smile to varying degrees. Steve mostly just purses his lips now, or at least whenever you’re around.

You’re not one hundred percent but there’s a two hundred percent chance you could lose your position on the team. So. Yep.

“I think that’s long enough.” Natasha says from the doorway, her voice conveying every ounce of a parent turning the lights off at a sleepover and you want to groan a high pitched complaint. A classic “But MOooM” would suffice, if you weren’t about to go train with her. Revenge training is worse than normal training.

Instead, you grumble softly as you rise and follow her back down the hall and into the gym. Gym, more like- like- Greatly Yucky Movements.

Dammit.

“We’re just going to repeat what we went through before, I’m feeling lazy.” She shrugs, offering you what you think is supposed to be an affectionate and companionable smile but the sets you went through before your hour break were gruelling to the point of you wondering if it was worth it to skip filling your belly and just napping.

“I better be so professional.” You grunt as you stretch yourself over your leg.

“Tell me.” You begin, gazing at the Winter Soldier who stretches at your side. He’s warming up while you’re on cool down but it doesn’t matter, it’s all the same. “Did your code name come from the train accident or just being in Russia where it’s always cold and being a soldier?”

“Uh-”

“Y/N.” Steve sighs across the room and you laugh, grinning at the blue eyed blonde.

“Where does Captain America come from? You’re not a Captain, you weren’t even part of a real battalion when you got the name.” You tease, avoiding looking at Bucky when he grins. Don’t want to scare him off. “Was it some PR thing? You used to be famous or something, right?”

Steve rubs his temples, his lips twitching while Bucky laughs quietly at your side. He seems to be in the habit, with some team members at least, to still try and blend into the background, even as he starts to display emotion.

“Whatever, either way, they’re dumb.” You shrug, trying not to break character in the face of their gapes. “You-” You say, pointing at Steve, “Should be Shawty Big Titties and you-” Now to Bucky, “Should be PMH RMT. It’s a mouthful, but in it’s long form it’d be harder.”

You can’t help cackling at your own joke, even as Steve and Bucky watch you with confused curiosity. Across the room, a soft chuckle joins your laugh and you look up to see Natasha flushed and grinning at you.

“She knows what’s up.” You laugh, pointing at Natasha, only for her laughter to get louder. “Oh! I didn’t even plan that one!”

“What is happening?” Steve asks and you squawk, laying backwards and rolling away, your breath coming in hiccups.

“Come on, take it off.” You whine, tugging at the mans pants playfully and he swats at your hands gently. The smirk playing at his lips makes you want to kick him, but you can’t exactly blame him. You’re a very good actress. Glancing at you, he continues in fluent Croation- not your usual fare but you can’t blame him for being different. It’s even a little nice.

“Push it back, half an hour. Yeah, there is a girl. Ah, f*ck you man, you know I last longer than that.” He laughs, only for his eyes to darken and his voice to go suddenly lower, gruffer. Mayhap even… Husky? “You know exactly how long I last, how hard I can go. You miss me, I know it-”

Even you can hear the sudden stutter in the voice on the other end of the line, though now you’ve climbed onto his lap and are rubbing your hands all over his chest. Raking your nails down his skin, you lick your lips at the red trails left behind. Soon, you’ll get to leave other red marks on this sick man.

“So give me thirty?” He finishes, the sentence a question that only allows one answer. His way. “Good, see you then.”

“Now, you.” He smirks, his palms encircling your waist and palming your ass. You grin cheekily, your English coming through clear and innocent.

“Me?” You chirp in a breathy voice, squeaking when he pulls you suddenly against him. Sliding your fingers into his hair, your head tilts back as his mouth descends on your throat. Closing your eyes a moment, you force a little disassociation. His lips weren’t really on your skin, since you can’t ever own anything, even if it’s part of you “corporeal” body.

Great, let’s do this.

“More, please.” You half moan, keeping your eyes closed for any cameras out there. Honestly, spy movies are so weird that their little moments of “ugh” in high risk situations are never caught on camera and questioned.

A knock hit the door behind you and you ham up your disappointment, glancing from the door to the man you straddled with a pout.

“It will just be a moment.” He excused, his English choppy and thickened with an accent. For the first time that night, you sort of liked him. It was cute.

Focus.

A fist slammed into his face as he answered the door and you relaxed against the leather chair you were now alone in.

“Hey, baby!” You called out seductively, giggling at the blush that appeared on Pietros face. Stretching and rising, you stalked across the room toward where the man lay, clutching his face. You couldn’t help yourself from strutting, the expensive thigh high boots made it impossible not to.

“Tell me, where is Horvat?” You hiss, his glare like fire when he looks up.

“You will pay for this, you little bitch!” He snarls, his body tensing like he’s about to dive for you and you laugh lightly.

“You can’t fake fear; it always comes from a kernel of truth. So are you afraid of me?”

“I am not afraid of girls.”

“It’s 2017, dude, are you kidding me?” You snap, unable to even continue with the persona in face of that comment. The outfit said keep it up but your very soul said defeat him with an educational rant, not limited to introducing him and his face to many key characters like the floor.

“I am not?” His voice is confused and you scoff, pushing to your feet and stalking toward his little bar. You hear the soft noise of him rising, and you’re glad that Pietro doesn’t interfere. This is technically your final test run before you’re cleared for missions again.

The sound of his footsteps pick up like he’s about to tackle you.

“Don’t mess with me!” You roar, smashing and holding up the jagged end of the bottle, the points brushing his throat as he scrambles to stop and not impale himself. “I’m a fair person, I’m even prone to villainous rants like this one, and I’m more than willing to help you.”

“You don’t want to help me!” He spits and you laugh softly, sharing a look with Pietro by the door.

“You and I define help differently, I see help as me not letting my friend over there take control like he so wishes to, and let me tell you, he really wants to hurry this up and get it over with.” You smirk, gesturing with the jagged bottle and relishing in the way his eyes follow it. “But I’ve learned, in the process of earning scars, that life should be taken slow. You, on the other hand, need to hurry the f*ck up and tell me where Horvat is. I don’t even have time for you to explain why you aren’t telling me, which sucks. So. Tell me.”

“She did alright.”

“Stuff that! I passed with flying colours! A flick of the wrist and this guy was putty in my hands, telling us everything.” You shrug, grinning at the other Avengers at the table.No need to mention that wrist flick smashed a bottle and you nearly glassed the guy.

“You, also, look fantastic.” Natasha observes, eyeing you up and down and you laugh, executing a tight spin in your blood splattered clothes. “The blood actually makes it better.”

“It strangely does.” Sam frowns, looking you up and down like he just can’t believe it.

“Oh, oh! You guys haven’t even heard the best part-” Pietro groans softly behind you but you shush him with a glare. “I didn’t even need to torture the guy-”

“But you did anyway?” Clint asks, his eyes flickering to the blood and you wave him off.

“Oh, no, this is the other guys. These heels are surprisingly sharp and cause a lot of accidents. Point being, I educated him while I took his information.”

“The guy said he wasn’t afraid of girls.” Pietro pipes up helpfully and Natasha brightens.

“Did you make him fear them?” She asks hopefully and you roll your eyes, shaking your head with a small smile.

“Nah, I just took an eraser to his brain and replaced the bad bits. Like that episode of Adventure Time.”

“It wasn’t at all like that.” Your mission partner counters and you scoff, glaring at him tiredly.

“Must you?” You demand, your ire dying down at Pietros soft chuckle.

“Yeah, I must.”

for those who are curious:

Pull My Hair Ride My Thigh (PMH RMT)

#avengers x reader #avengers imagine #avengers fic #avengers fanfic #avengers fanfiction #avengers #avengers fanfic x reader #marvel

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goodra-king · 5 years

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Transcript of Finding Hope and Happiness in a Pessimistic World

Transcript of Finding Hope and Happiness in a Pessimistic World written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

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John Jantsch: This episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast is brought to you by ZeroBounce, an email validation system that integrates with all the major ESPs to make sure, hey, your mail doesn’t bounce. Check it out at zerobounce.net.

John Jantsch: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. This is John Jantsch, and my guest today is Mark Manson. He is a speaker and a blogger at markmanson.net and the author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and the new book, Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope. Having thrown my PG rating out the window, I want to welcome you, Mark.

Mark Manson: It’s good to be here, John.

John Jantsch: There is a Mark Twain quote that I love, and when I quote people, I end up paraphrasing. I never get it right, but he advised writers to every time they were tempted to use the word really or very to substitute the word damn because your editor would strike it out, and your writing would be so much stronger, but not so much anymore. Huh?

Mark Manson: Apparently not.

John Jantsch: I’d like to think of these more as concepts than words, but I was walking by… the use of this language anyway. I was walking by an airport bookstore the other day, and there’s an entire section now that I think maybe you started of people using F with some variation of asterisks. With all the issues going on in the world now, is cursing become trifling?

Mark Manson: I guess so. Honestly, I’m fascinated by it too. Clearly, I’ve created a brand, and a bunch of people are jumping into it and copying it, but there seems to be something about vulgarity that the shock value in it or the emotional charge in it that people are getting really excited about for whatever reason.

John Jantsch: Yeah. Well, it might have something to do with some sales that you’ve accomplished as well. Last time I looked, and I’m sure you have it more accurate, but I think I saw somewhere 8 million plus copies of The Subtle Art… Do you have any sense of why that book exploded?

Mark Manson: I think it’s a combination of things. I definitely think part of it’s the title. It definitely grabs your attention, but I also think… I sometimes call my brand of self-help a pessimistic self-help. It’s a personal development that is less about, “Oh, we can achieve anything.” It’s more just, “Humans suck; let’s try to suck a little bit less.”

Mark Manson: I think there’s something about the last few years that I think people are just feeling incredibly pessimistic, and there’s a cultural moment that’s happening where we’re becoming very aware of our own pessimism, and so for whatever reason, my style of writing, my titles, everything, it’s really catching that wave right now.

John Jantsch: Yeah and for those who have… the handful of people who have not read any of Mark’s work, you’re very funny. You tell great stories that are very engaging, and so it’s actually very easy to read. What I enjoy the most is you’re reading along, you’re reading along, and then you just zing us. It’s like in this newest book, the How to Start Your Own Religion, I was like, “Wait a minute. What? Is that… ?”

John Jantsch: I wasn’t sure if you were kidding or not for awhile, and that’s what I love about your style of writing, but I’ve got a really hard question for you.

Mark Manson: Sure.

John Jantsch: Not everybody sells 8 million books. What has that done to your life?

Mark Manson: Oh, well, it’s made my bank account a lot bigger. It’s funny, I was on another podcast recently, and they were like, “Wow man, so tell it. Come on, tell us what’d you go out and buy?” I was like, “Uh, I bought a Nintendo.”

John Jantsch: Well, here’s the reason I asked that. Obviously, it swelled your bank account, but I don’t get the sense-

Mark Manson: Sure.

John Jantsch: … that you’re a person that necessarily seeks fame and seek it or not, you’ve gotten it.

Mark Manson: Yes. Yeah. It’s funny. I don’t think it’s changed my life a whole lot. I tell people that I think being a famous author is the perfect mix because your work is widely known and appreciated, but people don’t really recognize you on the street or if you go into a restaurant or anything, so you don’t really get your privacy invaded a whole lot. I wish I could give you a really exciting answer, but I don’t think it’s affected that much.

John Jantsch: You mentioned the last couple of years seems like it’s been a rough patch. I think every generation probably thinks that theirs has been the worst time in history. Do you find that to be true? I mean you look at some of the divides going on, particularly in the United States right now, and I feel like they’re historically bad. I know you’re an avid researcher. Do you think that that’s the case?

Mark Manson: I do think you’re right. Every generation does because every generation, whatever problems face that generation, are completely new and unexplored. There’s a little bit of I think a sense of specialness that comes with each generation. What is interesting about today is that the level of pessimism or I guess just hysteria that’s going on is not relative to how well we’re doing economically. Our economies are booming; we’re safe; we’re not at war, we’re not being bombed by anybody. There’s not riots in the streets.

Mark Manson: Usually, the type of pessimism that we see right now is accompanied by some sort of massive, tumultuous thing that’s going on. For whatever reason, today it’s not. I just thought that was really peculiar, and that was one of the starting points of the new book is basically if everything’s awesome, why are we so upset all the time?

John Jantsch: How does admitting we’re all gonna die let us live a better life?

Mark Manson: I think facing one’s mortality is a big principle in my work, and it’s one thing I’m constantly trying to make the reader more aware of, I guess their own insignificance. I think while it’s a downer, I think it has a very liberating effect in that it’s only by thinking about one’s own death that we’re able to really get good perspective on what’s important in our life.

Mark Manson: If I start asking myself questions like, “Well, if this is the last year I’m alive, would I still be doing the same thing I’m doing?” that presents a lot of clarity for the decisions that I’m making and helps us avoid traps and falling into habits that we wouldn’t be happy we had in the long run.

John Jantsch: There’s some… Viktor Frankl, certainly… You have a story about Auschwitz in the book, and Viktor Frankl I think was in Auschwitz?

Mark Manson: Yes.

John Jantsch: Eli [Wiesel] was in Auschwitz, and I think… I can’t remember which one of these said this, but that the opposite of love is not hate. It’s indifference. Hope is in the title of the book, and you talk about the opposite of happiness is hopelessness. How do we wrestle with that?

Mark Manson: I wrote a book about hope because I think, again, coming back to this pessimism that’s pervading everything today, I wanted to investigate what it is about modern life that is making it so difficult to have a clear vision of where we want to go in the future. I think happiness gets discussed a lot, and we all want to feel good, and that’s great and everything, but really it’s at the end of the day, we need to have some sort of hope for something greater for that happiness to ever emerge.

Mark Manson: If we’re not able to construct that vision of something greater for ourselves, then we just end up in despair. If we’re angry or we’re sad or we’re anxious or upset or something, that at least implies that there’s hope of something greater. But if we just feel hopeless then that implies that there’s no vision for any sort of improvement.

John Jantsch: I believe at least that a lot of people have hope when they feel they’re in control of their situation. You basically tell us that self-control is an illusion, and that we all pretty much just have to accept our fate. Maybe I’m paraphrasing, but I read that.

Mark Manson: Well it’s not that we don’t have any control over ourselves. It’s that our… First of all, I agree with you that a lot of hope is rooted in a feeling that we have control over our fate. Chapter two is called self-control, is an illusion. The point of that chapter title is that we actually have far less control than we think we do, and we perceive ourselves to have total control over our lives.

Mark Manson: Anybody who’s tried to start using their gym membership or maybe cut something out of their diet quickly finds out that you have less control over your behavior than you typically would like to admit.

Mark Manson: The whole chapter simply discusses why don’t we do the things we know we should do? Why do we seem to have such a difficult time acting on all of the stuff that we want for our lives, that we know is good for our lives, but just for some reason, we can’t peel ourselves off the couch or whatever? It turns out our minds are kind of a messy place, and there’s a little bit of an art to getting ourselves to act the way that we would prefer ourselves to.

John Jantsch:You know, email is still a very important marketing channel, but it’s gotten harder to get in the inbox. Even if people that want your email. ZeroBounce is an email verification system that will validate your opt-ins. Check them out at zerobounce.net. They integrate with all of the major services that you might be using already, like Mailchimp or HubSpot. Check them out zerobounce.net.

John Jantsch: My favorite part of that chapter is that you told a little story about Tom Waits, one of my favorite singer-songwriters. Old 55 changed my life.

Mark Manson: I love Tom.

John Jantsch: One of the things that I see frequently, particularly, you get to a certain… You’re not living on the streets. You got a nice job. You’ve got a nice house. You’ve got a nice car. We go out of our way to make sure that we don’t do anything that’s uncomfortable. A lot of people anyway. You talk quite a bit about not necessarily the need to suffer, but the benefit of suffering. You want to unpack that a little?

Mark Manson: Yeah. I think in this discussion of why have we seemed to be so [inaudible] pessimistic today, I spent a couple chapters talking about comfort and talking about pleasure and avoiding pain. Essentially, the short version is that I come to the conclusion that the same way we need to… our muscles need to be stressed and strained a little bit on a regular basis to grow and improve and maintain health, I think our emotional and our psychological “muscles,” so to speak, need a certain regular amount of stress and strain to also remain healthy and robust.

Mark Manson: My fear is that so much of the 21st century world is built around convenience and immediacy and instant gratification that we’re not getting those reps, where part of our mental health is essentially just atrophying from a lack of regular exertion.

John Jantsch: Yeah, I read somewhere… I can’t remember actually who the author was, but, and there may be some physiological benefit to this, but you’ve talked about taking a cold shower in the morning, and the benefit of it was that you were going to suffer some right off, beginning of the day, and that was going to then set the benchmark for the whole day. Again, there may be some actual physiological benefits too, but he was talking more mental.

Mark Manson: Yeah. I think there’s a lot to be said. I think the same way 50 years ago we discovered… nutritional science started to figure out like, “Oh hey, you can’t eat cupcakes every day. That’s bad for you,” it’s, I think, we’re starting to discover just in the last few years that some habits that we have, whether it’s phone usage or social media or where we get our information, has the same effect on us mentally.

Mark Manson: I think there needs to be an informational diet in terms of making sure that we’re challenging ourselves, challenging ourselves intellectually, but also challenging our own beliefs, challenging a lot of our assumptions about our relationships in the world and things like that, and that we need that to a certain degree to maintain a healthy and balanced psychological worldview.

John Jantsch: I wonder to what degree we can blame mobile devices and social media for people being so freaked out lately?

Mark Manson: I think this is a hot, hot topic right now, and it’s funny cause there’s a lot of data that shows a lot of really scary stuff. Then there’s a lot of data that shows a bunch of nothing, and the jury’s out, but my sense is that social media is probably only really bad in very large doses or for very young people. That seems to be the most clear pattern amongst the data on social media.

Mark Manson: Interestingly, I think the smartphone thing might actually be a bigger culprit here. I think it’s the constant instant access to everything you want that actually creates more psychological issues and emotional issues than necessarily Facebook.

John Jantsch: I remember when I was growing up, like all kids, “Mom, I’m bored,” and she used to say, “Well, good. You should be. You need to be. It’s healthy.” Now, we we just can’t allow ourselves that moment of boredom, can we?

Mark Manson: Yeah and there seems to be with that unwillingness to be bored a little bit, there also comes this lack of attention, lack of focus, and also this… I think it causes us to be a little bit more emotionally volatile than we would be otherwise.

John Jantsch: I am a big fan of Thoreau’s writing, and I love this quote from… I’m not sure actually where it appeared, but we ignore the God inside us in an effort to venerate the God that would not exist without us.

Mark Manson: Hmm.

John Jantsch: You take on religion a little bit, or at least the organized fashion of religion as a little bit of a, I don’t know if you want to say enemy, but as something that also freaks people out.

Mark Manson: Yeah. It’s funny the… There’s a chapter on… You can’t really write a book about hope without writing about religion, and so I’ve avoided touching religion for pretty much my whole career, but I felt like this book was finally the place to do it. I have a couple of points about religion. One, first of all, I’m an atheist, but I’m not necessarily… I definitely am not super critical of traditional religions themselves.

Mark Manson: I think there’s a lot… I understand why people believe in them and a lot of the benefits and meaning that they get from them. For me, the points I wanted to make with that chapter is one, I don’t think there’s actually… It’s actually the opposite of atheism, which is that I don’t really think it’s possible for us to not behave religiously to some extent.

Mark Manson: You know, even if you don’t worship like a traditional God or go to church, you’re still buying into certain groups and belief systems largely on faith, that they are important, they matter, and that they’re going to make the future better. They provide hope for you. Anytime you buy into this set of belief systems or set of constructs on faith, you end up creating alliances with other people who share those values and then also defending those beliefs against other people. I cast a very wide net in terms of how I define religion.

Mark Manson: Something as simple like something… political parties, sports teams, even being a fan of a TV series, these can all be religious experiences in that there is a mythology that we are putting our hopes in, and then we are organizing ourselves around those hopes together and finding meaning in them. It’s a fundamental human behavior. We all do it, but as with every human behavior, it has a lot of benefits, but it also has a lot of costs.

Mark Manson: A lot of people just over the years and a lot of people… I’m always being emailed by [various] religious people, saying, “Well, X book that defines my whole religion said a bunch of this stuff before you did.” My approach has always been like, “Well, of course it does, because this is just how the human mind works.

Mark Manson: The reason these religions have been around so long is that they manage to help orient people very well towards the world. It’s a little bit of a trippy chapter, and I’ve definitely lost some readers over it, but I’ve been prepared to make that sacrifice.

John Jantsch: I thought we were just going to lose the Catholics, but now we’re going to lose Game of Thrones fans and The New England Patriots fans all in one shot, one chapter. Great.

Mark Manson: We’re probably better off without them.

John Jantsch: The political messages today seem to be everything is screwed up, and it’s not your fault. It’s them. I think that that mentality seems to be at the root in some ways of all this discontent.

Mark Manson: Yep, absolutely. One of my big goals with this book… Because one of the things that surprised me and made me very happy about the success of Subtle Art was that I had very, I have very large fan bases on both sides of the political spectrum and especially, in 2019, there are not many people who are able to speak to both sides without being skewered in some way.

Mark Manson: I very consciously wrote this book to speak up to both sides at once and say, “Hey, it’s not ‘them’ that are causing the problems. It’s us. We are the problem. There’s nothing special about that person you hate or that person you hate. It’s us. This is a cultural issue, and we have to come together to solve it.

John Jantsch: The final chapter, you talk about AI, and I think you even go as far as calling it “the final religion,” when I read that… I’m into technology. I like to know the new things going on, but the further I got into that chapter, I couldn’t decide if I was hopeful or if that actually caused despair, the idea of that.

Mark Manson: Yeah. It’s-

John Jantsch: I couldn’t tell really where you were coming down on that.

Mark Manson: I think I’m strangely… I’m in a very weird spot with AI. I think most people, there are people who are I guess terrified of AI, who think that AI is going to overthrow the world order and we not make it out alive. Then there are AI utopists who think that AI is going to… we’re going to merge with the AI, and everything’s going to be amazing, and we’re going to solve all of our problems.

Mark Manson: The reason I called it the final religion is because essentially, all of these other issues that we struggle with today on all these other places, all these other places that we try to find meaning, once once general intelligence surpasses human intelligence, it’s gonna render all of these other questions either obsolete or it will advance them so quickly that we’re not going to be able to keep up.

Mark Manson: I felt like it was a natural end point. As much as it’s blindsided a lot of readers, I felt like it was a very natural end point for the book, and I personally think AI’s probably going to render us obsolete, but I find that to be very hopeful because, for one, I believe morality is very much based in rationality. I think the best aspects of ourselves come when we are able to sit down and think and be compassionate.

Mark Manson: If the AI surpasses us in intelligence, then it’s probably going to surpass us in its understanding of morality as well. One of the points I make in the book is look, we’re the ones who commit genocide. We’re the ones who beat and abuse and enslave each other. We don’t really, in terms of an ethical argument about AI, we don’t really have a leg to stand on.

Mark Manson: If this greater force comes along that we’re no longer able to comprehend, and they start organizing a world in which a lot of these religious conflicts and us versus them dichotomies fall away, then I think that better for everybody, even if we’re not the ones in charge anymore. I’m like this misanthropic AI supporter.

John Jantsch: Then there are those that would argue that it could actually amplify those things that you talked about as opposed to making them go away. I guess that’s the challenge with any technology.

Mark Manson: It is; it is. It could amplify, and it could amplify up to a degree, and then I think once it surpasses us, maybe it comes back on the other side. The other thing I wanted to explore in that chapter that I haven’t really seen talked about anywhere is that traditional religion emerges from mystery. It’s when humans don’t understand something, we come up with a lot of, I guess, supernatural explanations.

Mark Manson: It’s like if you dance this way, then it’s going to rain next week. I really enjoyed exploring this idea of once AI takes over, we’re not going to have any idea what the hell is happening anymore. Cars are going to show up and drive us somewhere and drop us off at a building. There’s going to be people there, and we’re not going to know why any of this stuff is happening.

Mark Manson: In a weird irony, we might start returning to a lot of this religious behavior of cavemen and stuff. It’s like, “Oh, well if you wear this shirt, the AI gods will will put favor on you, and they’ll take care of your family. Be sure to say this when the car comes.” I don’t know. For some reason, I think it’s hilarious, but a lot of people have emailed me and been like, “Dude, that is dark.”

John Jantsch: Yeah I didn’t find it dark. I think the word you said, mysterious. It just really shows that it could be a different world, which maybe-

Mark Manson: I-

John Jantsch: … is unsettling to some.

Mark Manson: I think it will be. All of this joking and the religious talk aside, I think it really is going to be a different world, and I think it’s going to be different in such a way that we can’t really comprehend what the issues and divisions are going to be when it comes.

John Jantsch: Mark’s books can be found pretty much anywhere. In fact, I have a… This is a personal question. Many of my listeners may not care about this, but I noticed your recent book, Harper brought it back out in paperback and hardcover at the same time. Was there any thought in that?

Mark Manson: Well, they’re doing this thing. It drives me crazy, man. They do these things called Harper Luxe, and it’s basically large print editions. They’re paperback, but they’re large print editions, so it’s like 500 pages. The fonts are blown up really big for people with poor eyesight.

Mark Manson: Amazon keeps categorizing them as paperback even though they’re these special editions for people with bad eyesight, and so people keep buying them thinking that they’re the paperback. Then they show up, and they’re these big fat like 600-page books with giant text.

John Jantsch: I’ve got another funny story for you on my first book published 2007 by Thomas Nelson who is now owned by Harper or they’re all owned by each the same company probably, but my first book, they had very few edits, but one of them is they wanted me to take the word crap out of the texts, so I thought you would enjoy that.

Mark Manson: Wow. How far we have come.

John Jantsch: Mark, it was a pleasure meeting you in this format and learning your thoughts and deeper thoughts on your writing, and people check out Mark’s work. As I said, the books are sold pretty much anywhere you can buy a book, and you might want to follow markmanson.net. Any other places you want to invite people?

Mark Manson: No, that’s it.

John Jantsch: I did it all. All right. Awesome. Mark, thanks so much. Hopefully, we’ll run into you out there on the road sometime.

Mark Manson: All right. Thanks, John.

from http://bit.ly/2QPm3t8

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survivorjordanpines · 7 years

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Episode 5: It's time to put my game face on - Ruthie

What a telling tribal. Gage is a whole liar. He and David both lied to me about how the vote was going. Now I definitely know not to trust them. Jaiden was mad that I voted for him, but I think we patched things up in PMs. However, I feel like this tribe swap will do me wonders. Chrissa is definitely someone who I want to align with. I hope we can get either Ari or Casey on our side so that Gage can be voted out as that seems to be in my mind, best case scenario. He's playing really well and that needs to go sooner rather than later.

So we voted out Adam and it was messy as fuck like planned but then A SWAP Not just a swap but The three blue people are PEOPLE I LOVE AND WOULD WANT TO WORK WITH SO WE CAN EASILY JUST TAKE OUT THE GREENS IF WE WANTED. Unless of course RTP doesnt think Emma and Cole can get along. I think whaatever happens on this tribe, im going to at least survive the first vote??? We can pray we can pray

I... like this swap? I think? I'm glad Jessica is with me and not Ari, I'm not sure if Ari would feel bitter about the vote or not. I hope Emma is okay, I miss her. I'm glad to be with Charlotte- I'm just nervous to see if anyone else would vote me out if given the chance, I LOVE Drew but I don't trust him, I was hoping not to see him until later on. For now I'm going to stick close to Charlotte and Jessica and just see what else happens.

Jaiden and I have definitely patched things up! I think we could be a dynamic duo that really shakes up the game! On NuSenip, I'm going to actually make an attempt to be social with the other members. This is where my game takes a turn for the best! I know Chrissa and I are already working together. She told me she has an idol from the isle of pines which I'm thankful for. I can definitely use this to my advantage. If I even catch a scent of being in danger then I could probably just ask Chrissa to use her idol on me. I've already started talking with Ari so I hope my charm can get her on my side. Jaiden said that we need to stick with Gage and LA. I, however, do not plan to ever stick with them for long. I want to definitely vote out Gage! Liars can get gone! However, I do not have the power for that kind of move yet. Plus, Jaiden seems to be on the boat where he doesn't want to vote out Gage. Hopefully, he's not just lying to me so that he can vote me out. I really do hate this.

WHEW OKAY do we know what the fuck just happened?? i certainly don't! so honestly all i wanted to do was save casey and cole because they're cute, but apparently i accidentally started world war three up in here, so whoops! to be honest i knew i fucked up the minute i told cole that andreas was targeting him, i still am not really sure why i thot that was a good idea but there was no turning back once i said it. and of course fifteen minutes later andreas messaged me "Can I ask you a question?" and i knew i was dead. but i did what i could with it, which was ignoring the problem and going to see a movie and telling everyone i had no idea what was happening and counting on my friends to not betray me. and hey, it worked out! anyways i was gone like 3/4 of the day, jessica really covered my ass and i owe her my life and also the other two who didn't stone cold betray me. i'm looking forward to andreas coming back and murdering me for real. i decided to start a fight in the tribe chat for no particular reason except it was funny to me and i don't feel like holding myself back anymore! i'm not here to win, i'm here to have fun and make some memories on the way. so no regrets. and this new tribe i'm on??? basically a dream. i have never met 4/7 people, i'm with someone who voted with me so i don't have to worry about my dirty laundry being dropped in the fire, and jaiden is here which is gonna be so much fun. and that's about all you missed on glee! i'm gonna go forward with my newfound strategy of not giving a f*ck and see where it takes me. wish me luck.

Fuck Karen. This bitch is literally letting a past game control her thinking. And it was ONE TIME. I didn't even tell Cole about it. I told Dom who told Leah who told Cole so like back the fuck off my dick. She needs to go because I don't think I could stand her in merge or in another tribe. God her and Regan think they are sooooooo smart but once I come into the picture? They better keep their wigs tight because I'm coming for them. Gage telling me all this information is really interesting though. He must actually want to work with me despite lying to me this whole time. I truly think he wants to work with me, but the majority on Senip prevented him from doing so. However, now that they are gone, he can work with me freely. I told you my social game would help me make allies in the future. I do think this swap will do wonders for me so I pray that it all works out in the end.

DREW MESSAGING ME LIKE HE'S EXCITED I'M ON HIS TRIBE. I love Drew so much, he's one of my favorite people in the community but he just scares me and I like trying to out think him but I literally CANNOT. I just want him to go before me in this game, the days where I try to save Drew are OVER it's time to put my game face on and stop caring who I try to take out.

Episode with triple tribal 11/25- https://youtu.be/2kHbejXxdN8

so we swapped and i love this tribe but then jordan gave winterbells because he loves hell and being satan huh?

I hate winterbells

winterbells is winterhell

winter bells is the worst. i wish we hadn't swap yet, i feel like i was in a decent spot. i haven't really talked to many people yet so rip. thankfully i still have gage who is turning out to be my closet person? also working 24 hours in three days sucks.

ANDREAS IS FUCKING GONE AND IM SO FUCKING MAD FUCK U ARI FUCK U ARI FUCK U AND WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU THINK YOURE DOING IS NOT GOING TO LAST LONG GOOOOOO FUCK YOURSELF

First of all, BITCH!!!! What a fuckin bitch move, taking me out right before the swap. Like I actually liked our tribe and then everyone gotta act all sketchy and vote me out. Like 4 people suddenly coming up to me to make sure the vote was Raf? Sketchy. They were probably worried I had an idol which, sadly I did not. Because those fucking trees. But forreal, everyone on that tribe is either a bitch or an idiot. Except Karen, who if I ever get out of here can have my loyalty. But Jaiden? Bitch. LA? Bitch. Rafael? Idiot. More of a drama queen but like there's only two options. Regan is either a bitch if she voted against me or an idiot if she didn't vote me cuz like it was clearly either me or Raf so you're either betraying me or just plain stupid. Karen was the only one who voted with me and like, we were both just like idgaf who it is as long as it isn't me. But as we all know.... Whatever. The annoying thing is like I had no idea until the very end, when I'm talking with a few of them and I'm saying like "well if it was me like no one would tell me, I guess that'd be a blindside" and then immediately I'm like... huh, you know it very well could be one. Not like I had any power to stop it. I just would've looked desperate. But now I'm on redemption and it's time to flex some real power. Like this is where I thrive. No more of this pussy-ass tribe challenges where I gotta rely on everyone's dumb ideas. Now it's just me, and pure determination to fuck them up. They'll all burn for this, and I'm an eternal flame 🔥

Hell yes... I'm throwing these challenges espICALLLYYLLYLYLY when I can be immune duh. Also lmao at my serpent tongue flipping the script on ari and andreas last tribe.... Y'all aren't as good as me.... Like it's me Cole... the beauty honey.. Also the OLD SCHOOL HOES WILL WIN OK, WE MAY HAVE 3 WINNERS ME JESSICA CASEY and well king RYAN but we got this... WE ARE BETTER....!! JORDAN LOVE ME IM PLAYING THIS GAME REALLY VILLIANIOUS OKURRRR.

A rant why i hate the tumblr survivor community where alot of people are snowflakes who get offended and a rant why i kind of like it and a rant where these people are stupid in this game. I really dont get why they voted off Andreas it was like Ari was thinking like a bitch.... 1: THEY HAD JESSICA AND RYAN who wouldnt have probably voted them off! 2: Why say we wanted cole out i would of probably destoryed my game for cole 3: I was sleeping until 2pm 4: I never thought Ari was messy and also i wanted to not vote them off ever even though were two opposites i am not a good person while Ari is very pure and smart while im not!!!! After that they were being a little cocky you are so lucky that ryan and cole were on my tribe and not you because i would of thrown you under the bus so hard to Sarah who is like Andreas best friend and i would enjoy seeing you pre merge Ari! That was aggressive but the more i think about it now i can stay with Cole as long as i want and now i dont have to worry about voting off my friends and feel bad about it unless if people want to take the game personally but im just gonna do what ever i can to win honestly! Also ruthie and jessica are the best two people in this game ill be so MAD if they dont do well because they deserve everything. I also felt bad not aligning with Casey at first because shes one of the people in the tumblr survivor community who i love. Lily is boring and Madison is okay i would go with sarah all the way because i hear shes iconic i love her already.

COLE if youre reading this WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!! Him trying to get the lowest score all of the time is going to bite him in the ass one of these times. Anyways the rumor currently is Sarah wants Madison out which Im fine with but lets hope its stays that way

Have I done a confessional lately? No one knows. In case I forgot to talk about it in the last confessional, I found a hidden immunity idol at the Isle of the Pines. I used my second search to get receipts that I could provide to my tribe to make it look like I didn't find anything but turns out? I didn't need them. We tribe swapped and now I'm on a completely different tribe AND we won immunity this week. WHEW. Let's do first impressions on NuNadroj Jessica: She seems pretty cool. I know she was in an alliance with Ryan before so having her around is kind of nice because a) she can tell embarrassing stories bc they've met before, and b) that gives us a reason to put a target on her if we do lose the next challenge. Liam: I think I like Liam? He seems really cool and he's probably the person I've talked to the most since we swapped. I think I need to talk to him more to make sure that we work together when / if we lose a challenge in the future. Can't make it look like I'm scrambling when the time comes. Drew: I LOVE DREW. I was allied with Drew in a side season we played once and it was fun playing with him. We all flopped, so I'm hoping he doesn't hold that against me and we can try to work together on NuNadroj. Karen: Admittedly we ... did not get along that well on Senip. I'm not super happy that we're still on the same tribe. LA got along with Karen way better than I did but I'm hoping she'll want to stick together since we were both penises. Regan: I still don't know what to think about Regan. I think it'll be easier now that we're Jaidenless to try to work with Regan. Again, because we were both on Senip, I'm hoping she'll want to stick together to keep our numbers strong. Ruthie: RUTHIE! I also love Ruthie so this is great!! I'm hoping that potentially Drew, Ruthie, and myself ... or maybe Jessica or Liam could have an alliance?? I feel like it's too early to start throwing the idea around but I'm going to try to plant some seeds and see if we can make this happen.

At first when I swapped with Ruthie, I was like “oh no! The only person who didn’t say that they have a right alliance with me!” And I was worried she’d go against me. She still might do that but I don’t care because she’s so nice and I want only good things for Ruthie. This tribe is cool so far, I don’t know anyone well which is a really nice twist. That hasn’t happened for me in a while and I like playing with new people! I am worried because apparently Adam got voted out for having “too many friends”. This is hilarious, adam only has one friend, her name is samrah and she is not in this game. But it is worrying because we have basically the same connections so if people were worried about Adam, they are definitely worried about me! But anyways, who cares. I am putting more thought into this than I want to. I can’t believe I took the effort to make a confessional. Gross.

i am so glad we won! jaiden's score omg that was insane. I never thought anyone could get that good, i envy that alot. But that was amazing. Also glad to be on the same tribe as raffy!

#supportyourlocaljordanpines

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obijuan-cannoli · 7 years

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Ok so I watched The Last Jedi sunday morning and like every SW fan out here I have A LOT of feelings about it. Even if I rather enjoyed it, there’s still quite a lot of problems in terms of plot and characterization that really bothered me and made me question whether or not Rian Johnson actually watched a SW movie before or if he just decided to change everything for the sake of originality and shock value (he did).

So here’s a list of everything I liked and hated about TLJ, because I need to vent for the sake of my sanity (also, it’s my blog so I do what I want). Spoilers under the cut.

What I liked :

- the cinematography. Probably the best thing about the movie tbh. I don’t remember everything but here’s some shots are really liked : basically all the scenes on Ahch-To, the battle of Crait, the Finn-Phasma fight, the long wide shot of the burning Jedi temple, Snoke’s red chamber...

- new amazing creatures. Porgs are useless but they’re cute so I don’t care, I love them anyway. The nathiers and the crystal foxes are beautiful. My favorites are probably the Ahch-to’s nuns - I hope they’re ok since Rey pretty much trashed the place.

- Finn. Every time he’s on screen I’m happy. That’s the power of John Boyega.

- BB8 being the real hero of this trilogy. Please someone give those droids a medal.

- Rey calling Kylo out on his bullshit at the beginning of the movie.

- the truth about Rey’s parents (at least what Kylo tells her about, he could be lying for all we know). I really thought she would be a Skywalker but I’m actually happy she isn’t. I don’t think I would have liked the thought of Luke abandoning her on Jakku. By the way I really like that scene at the beginning when she asks Kylo why he killed his father, how upset she is over Han’s death and can’t understand how Kylo could kill a father who loved him when her own parents willingly abandoned her. She never had that kind of love and doesn’t understand giving it up so easily.

- Rey turning Kylo down in the end.

- Leia understanding she can’t turn her son back to the light anymore.

- pretty much every scene in which Rey holds a lightsaber.

- though the best scene of the movie is probably the one where the Supremacy gets cut in half at lightspeed by vice admiral Holdo with nothing but the deafening silence of space in the background. TRUE CINEMA.

- that cute (but alas) short moment between Rey and Finn at the end.

- Luke being a troll and then slapping Rey’s hand with that leaf.

- Luke being tired™.

- Luke kissing Leia on the forehead with that lens flare.

- Luke winking at C3PO.

- Luke giving this force projection a whole new look like the fashion icon he is.

- and Kylo loosing his shit when Luke appeared on the battlefield.

- Hux’s “do you think you got him?”.

- I’m still in denial about Luke’s death but that last scene with Luke’s theme song and the two suns mirroring Luke’s introduction on Tatooine in ANH... I was crying real tears folks. I didn’t want Luke to die but at least he had a beautiful death.

- LUKE.

- to continue with the soundtrack, John Williams re-used a lot of music from the original trilogy but I loved it anyway and I’m always a sucker for Luke’s theme song (obviously).

- also seing that slave kid at the end using the force, looking at the sky in hope while holding the Rebellion sign just made me so emotional. It reminded me of young Anakin in TPM.

That’s all for the fun part. Now...

What I didn’t like :

- the character assassination. I’m not going to go into too many details about Luke because I know pretty much everyone agree with me. Luke is a symbol of hope, he believed in his father and managed to bring him back to the light. Darth Vader, the man who terrorized the galaxy, cut off Luke’s hand (among other things), tortured his sister, etc. It makes absolutely ZERO SENSE for him to try to kill Ben (who is his nephew, keep that in mind), especially since he hadn’t even really done anything really dark yet. Running like a coward and refusing to help the Resistance when it’s on the verge of extinction doesn’t make sense either.

- also can we talk about what they did with Poe’s character? They turned him into a complete f*ckboy. He doesn’t listen to any of his superiors, even Leia who’s literary the face of the Rebellion and has been doing this shit for forty years. He gets A LOT of people killed by being reckless and never apologize for it. So I know it’s a complicated situation, everyone is on edge and people will die to matter what decision is taken but still. I really didn’t like this Poe, please give us back the Poe Dameron we all love in the next movie.

- Holdo. I only like her last scene (and her hair).

- Finn. Not really any problem with Finn’s character but more like the lack of Finn in the movie. I don’t know, Finn and Rose’s interactions are cute but in the end they don’t get much done. No time with Rey except for that last scene. I don’t know I just feel like we didn’t see him all that much.

- also I love Kelly Marie Tran but the character she plays is so bland. Rose is cute and all but they should have given her better lines and a better personality in general.

- the fight with Phasma, which lasted two minutes and which Finn won only because she was distracted. It could have been epic, but no, Phasma was almost even more underused that in TFA. Gwendoline Christie deserved better.

- pretty much all the bad guys deserved better, even if they’re a piece of sh*t. I don’t care about Hux but he was made into a joke during the whole movie (the humour at the beginning between Poe and Hux felt so forced, it was cringy honestly). I actually felt sorry for Domhnall Gleeson. The only good thing was how quick he was to aim his weapon at Kylo when he saw him down. Maybe he’ll get some form of revenge in the next movie? I hope so.

- and Snoke. Ugh. What the hell Rian? Basically Snoke was killed off just to add to Kylo’s character. No explanation on who he is, where does he come from, how is it possible for Kylo to kill him so easily when Snoke can literally hear his thoughts??? Nothing makes sense. I do agree with Kylo getting tired of being Snoke’s disciple and trying to kill him at some point, but that was way too easy. Snoke is supposed to be a very strong force-user, logically he should have wiped the floor with Rey and Kylo.

- Rey and Kylo’s interactions. I don’t know if it’s because of all the Reylo shippers out here or because of all the forced heterosexuality we’re used to see in movies since basically forever, but most of their scenes made me uncomfortable. There’s actually nothing romantic or sexual about it, but it was still weird to watch. It was mostly Rey’s attitude that bugged me. I get why she was so nice with him, she tried to do the right thing and, with Luke refusing to help, she thought turning him back to the light would help the Rebellion. She never thought herself a hero, so she tried to make a hero out of Kylo. Calling him Ben to appeal to his better nature. I just thought it was a big change compared to the last film. Even at the beginning she calls him a “murderous snake”. Her attitude changed too quickly. Kylo’s behavior though didn’t really surprise me. He was manipulating her. The whole time I though about his act with Han in TFA, so to me it was pretty in character. Also with Snoke gone they’re the two most powerful force-users in the trilogy so their connection is rather logical.

- the moment their hands touched though. Was that close-up really necessary? Stop adding fuel to that Reylo nonsense.

- and that shirtless scene. I can’t even, It was embarrassing and unnecessary (as are most shirtless scenes... I’m not here to criticize Adam Driver’s workout routine).

- by the way I’m sad Kylo destroyed his mask at the beginning of the film because I thought it was a pretty dope mask.

- another weird scene was Luke and that blue milk. Who thought it was a good idea? I understand wanting to show us Luke’s routine and how he survives on Ahch-to but... not this.

- Yoda. The puppet looks weird, straight out of TESB. They should have used CGI. Or chosen to bring back Obi-Wan or Anakin.

- Leia using the force in THAT scene (you know the one). I should have liked it but it was honestly too much for me. It gave me Guardians of the Galaxy flashbacks. I understand they wanted to remind us that Leia is also strong in the force even if she wasn’t trained but... how the f*ck do you survive being blasted into space?

- general Ackbar’s death.

- the fact that pretty much all of the Resistance is dead, to the point that the Millenium Falcon can transport them all.

- the plot in general. From the beginning to the end of the movie, nothing substantial happens. The First Order is still there, still way more powerful than the Rebellion. Everyone failed at what they were supposed to do : Rey didn’t get Luke to train her (not really) and she couldn’t bring Kylo back to the light, Finn and Rose didn’t finish their mission and almost died because of it, Poe’s plans didn’t work out either, Kylo didn’t kill Luke and didn’t bring Rey to his side, Hux fails at pretty much everything lol, the Rebellion is almost extinct... And yes failure is a teacher and all of that, that’s what the movie his about (thanks Yoda) but here the movie is ONLY about failure. There’s no satisfaction about that. In generals characters make mistakes AND overcome them in the same film. Here we have to wait for episode IX to see if they did learn from these mistakes. The only one who changed at the end was Luke and he died just after that. It doesn’t make me very hopeful about the next movie.

- also WHERE IS MY MAN LANDO CALRISSIAN???

I wrote so many negative things it looks like I hated the movie but I didn’t, I’m just very critical because I love Star Wars and some characters in particular.

I realize from what I’ve written that it looks like I really hate Kylo Ren but I don’t. I like how different he is from Darth Vader. I like how childish he can behave. I like that, despite Snoke’s influence, he still has ties to the light and can’t seem to cut them. I liked his mask and his fighting style in TFA. I like how manipulative he his. And Adam Driver is a great actor. But I hate the idea of Kylo and Rey together, especially in a romantic way, and I’m afraid that’s where we may be going. I don’t want him to go back to his mother. I don’t want him to have a redemption arc. I don’t want him to be forgiven and to go back to the light. He had two movies to do that, he had plenty of people reaching out to him. Snoke is dead, Kylo doesn’t have anyone making choices for him anymore and luring him to the dark side, he’s doing it himself. He’s done too much to deserve a redemption arc and he DOESN’T want it anyway. I like him as a villain, he’s complex and entertaining, but that’s all he can be anymore. He’s not going to be hero. Having conflicted feelings doesn’t make him more of a good guy, it doesn’t erase all the shitty things he did and the people he killed. There’s only one movie left in the trilogy and I don’t see how he would be able to come back from that. Rey isn’t going to make the mistake of trusting him again, even Leia doesn’t believe in him anymore. And most of all I hate how many characters Rian Johnson butchered in The Last Jedi just to make Kylo’s character more powerful or interesting. Luke’s character was butchered just to make Kylo’s more sympathetic, Rey was too nice, Snoke too easily killed. And that’s what pisses me off the most about this movie. It could have been great if only Johnson cared as much about the other characters as he did about Kylo.

#sw #star wars #sequels #the last jedi

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

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Episode 2 | “GET ME OUT OF HERE ” - Devon

okay so i filmed a video confessional earlier which is uploading where i basically talked about dealing with being a winner/the tomb and having an idol/potentially wanting to go to tribal pre-swap/deliberately choosing the puzzle/how much i love jake so that'll come at some point after this but just KNOW that came first. anyway just wanted to talk MORE because i have more thoughts. last round i was really conscious of needing to micro-manage my threat level and i think im putting in work to do that? im very concious that i cant play the same game as montenegro because im coming into it from a very different perspective/position. However, one thing I can do this season is transfer my prejury game, because i think it still works. What I need to do is to some extent take a backseat, where I'm not actively messaging people first, and keeping game talk kinda limited (but acknowledging it when people talk to me). Like I have the safety cushion of my idol, and my connection to jake/jordan, and to some extent dan and lovelis? like im not gonna be a target (touch wood) and hopefully if i am my men tm going to keep an eye out for me.... hopefully? it also means im not gonna be pushy about votes im gonna hear names and run with it (as long as its not jake/jordan, or lovelis tbh i get real good vibes from him). but yeah id really love the beauty tribe to go to tribal this round ive literally never spoken to a single one of them so i'd love one of that tribe that is a complete unknown quantity to go home DJDKLFSF. but yis so im feeling good taking a backseat but im gonna ejector seat myself forwards at some point, just got to figure out when to push the button

Okay so Bodhi left last night and that was really sad. We had nice conversations but i told him that if the rest of the tribe wanted him out i wasn't going to campaign for him. He ended up making his rounds but at the end of the day, no one felt strongly about keeping him. He speaks so well that it took me a night's rest to get my head straight. Also Trace got an alliance together of himself, myself, Scott and Isaac. Bitch i was SHOOK! I am so glad to be likable enough to be brought into someone else's core. So this kind of perfectly positioned myself and Scott between 2 alliances. I believe we're both more loyal to the one we formed before we found out we were going to tribal, but who knows. I did tell Autumn of the news because i figure if we were to lose again. Whichever of Isaac of Trace remains is going to feel on bottom and blow up that Scott and I were two-timing the DADS. Btw that is the dumbest alliance name I have ever been a part of but whatever. The rat pack has also formed and now him and I are in a good spot. I will say that i am nervous that MISS ALYSSA spoke the comparison into existence, but i really hope we don't continue to flop like Luzon did on Cagayan. But hey! If Denise can go to every tribal council in one season and win, maybe i can too. (PS i pissed myself with my score in winterbells but also F*CK WINTERBELLS, thats all, ty)

Honestly I’m really regretting not participating in this challenge because I feel like our scores are.......not great. I feel like I could have turned out the puzzle and even winterbells. The flag Lovelis made is super cute and i think will fair well bc it’s very clean and neat. It’s not super creative, but it’s definitely well made. I think even if we went to tribal I would be okay though. Liam seems like an easy enough boot for us. No one seems that dazzled by his contributions to the tribe.

i literally am the biggest clown who ever clowned for continuing to overdo it in challenges, if i'm allowed to make it to merge at this point it will literally be a miracle.

So Bodhi left on a unanimous vote yesterday and I'm glad that it worked out as planned! I definitely felt bad lying to him about it all and stuff, but I think it was the best for the tribe going forward. What does suck however is that we lost AGAIN! And it was actually close this time! I'm actually annoyed that we lost this time because I submitted my challenge at 4PM and the reason why we lost was because the last submission was at 8 :/ like... y'all couldn't get it in any earlier? Plus I'm annoyed because I find myself in the swing position between the DADS and The Rat Pack. Personally I don't trust Trace after finding out he tried to play the Rat Pack off as my idea when it was really his all along. To me, it shows that he'd betray me later on down the line. And the only purpose for "The Rat Pack" is so they feel like they're in the majority. So since we lost, I don't mind voting out Trace. Duncan and I called to confirm that we're on the same page. We also found out that Devon is telling us the same things about loyalty and allegiances and I don't like that. He also told Duncan that he would throw immunities and play idols for him if he needed it, and that Duncan was his number 1 ally. But he said the same exact thing to me. So... that has me a little sketch. But I also think that Autumn/Duncan are a close pair, so I may need to stick close to Devon for the long hall. But if Autumn/Duncan think I'm more with them than Devon, I'll take it. I'm supposed to go on call with the Dads soon. Duncan wants to tell them about the rat alliance so that Isaac doesn't use it as motive to get us out. Which i agree that it'd be a good idea as long as devon/autumn stick with us. Duncan and I both feel like Devon might be thrown off since he always likes to be in control, but not actually being in charge. So we'll need to do damage control when that happens. But for now it seems like Trace is going unless things change. If things go how I would want it to, then Trace leaves tomorrow.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JKqH3EQMlugIe-lwHMYMG2qoVZ7dvIzr/view?usp=sharing

Omg!!!!! Another win that makes me so happy . The tribe is all getting along great and I couldnt all for better ppl. I'm hoping soon to get some kind of solid group together. Kendell adam and amiry are ppl I def wanna work with long term at the time. Just gotta see what happens.

youtube

Not much has been happening lately so I might be able to keep this short and not ramble on and on like i usually do (ill still end up writing a novel probably) yippy yay it's day 5 and everything is still all smiles and giggles over here because we've won yet another immunity!! kinda boring tbh but obviously im happy we won immunity because now that buys me one more day and at the end of it that's all i care about. I kinda did want the brauns to go to tribal however instead of the brains because i just really would like my beauties to get a nice foot hold and a lead in the game, i actually enjoy taking to some of these people, and im trying my best to talk to as many people as i can, which anyone who knows me knows isn't the easiest thing for me, i was reading some of my old confessionals from both my past games and the one thing i consistently got dragged for was not being as present with people, which granted i did improve a lot on last time around for sure, but i still got work to do and im realizing that more each day when i have no urge whatsoever to talk to anyone (don't worry, it's not you, it's (crippling depression) me! I understand socializing is part of the game and i do think my social game is my strongest asset but to me i like to think of my social game as a more distinct kind, im more elusive and i like to be that, if you leave them wanting more dahling they'll keep you around, i dont like to show all my cards, and that's a quality that i reflect in both survivor and life, and it has advantages and disadvantages in both but ANYWHO despite all that dare i say i think im still doing *decent* ? I'm making it a priority to reach out at least once a day to *most people (AJ, Augusto, Amir, Austin) are the ones ive probably had some of the best conversations with where it was the most natural and just flowed you know, and still is on day 5, and with kendall ive had some talks with her i do like her but idk i get this vibe she's kinda holding back when talking to me, and ESPECIALLY same with connor? we only had one private conversation and he gave me about a 3 word response, and if you havent guessed by now i like elaboration or at least a lil bit of personality when you talk, no shade just an observation, so that's a small red flag im very much a person who matches energy, one of my go to's in survivor is being open to the possibility of anything, ill always work with anyone who will work with me, and i think thats how everyone should play so hopefully the people ive been talking a lot to feel similar but i guess we'll have to wait until a vote of some sort to see about all that.. I still havent heard any idol talk or even game talk quite frankly so im guessing people are just still keeping the friendly facade up..... or ...... is it me?? am i the one on the outs looking like boo boo the fool or is that just my paranoia getting to me??? im not gonna send myself into a tizzy about getting voted out when we're not even going to tribal i- lemme calm down. If i had to guess I'd say Kendall, Connor, or Amir have the idol probably but sounds like a mystery for another day because im DONE im clocking out for the night until other people wanna wake up and play the game too oop final note: ok but it would be sick and twisted if it turns out they are all playing the game just without me and im the first boot of the tribe

Waking up on this glorious Day 5 with a new perspective. I originally applied to be on the brains tribe and was shook when I got brawn because let’s face it, my arms are akin to overcooked spaghetti noodles. BUT my tribe is so much stronger than the brains. I’m hoping for a big name to go to shake things up. AND I’m not really looking to swap onto a tribe with Trace or Autumn due to our past game history. Love them both dearly, but it’s gonna be a no from me.

okie so! update from me is i think im doing okay. like i think the benefit of no dua lipa cave is you can just build connections with everyone, you aren't voting someone out every round so why not capitalise on that? i'm so afraid of the fact that i'm overdoing it in challenges like i really need to calm. down. but im reassuring myself with the fact that in the first challenge i only was top because i did like... one more thing than others like its not thattt big of a deal? my puzzle time was clownery but hopefully people don't pay attention to it? im getting very anxious about overdoing it in challenges, but my thought process now is like. i need to act like people have an awareness of it, without getting kinda consumed by my anxiety about it? idk im hoping since most of these people don't know me, they wont notice me doing good in the challenge but truly who can be sure also am really just liking my tribe? like jake is ofc a king, i love jordan (who im gonna talk to later, he is the only one i feel like i have to talk to today), i also really like TJ who i was super harsh on at the start for no reason, i get good ally vibes from lovelis, liam m is super sweet even tho he is kinda inactive and dan is so fun (plus he told jake that he speaks to me one of the most so we love that!!). i've been trying to figure out what i even do about a lot of the super old school players that i have no connection/point of reference with? like people like scott, adam, kendall, aj i have truly no basis with? thats whats so scary about a swap, is at this point in the game i know 10/20 people left aka the brawn tribe + duncan/isaac/autumn, and like 10/20 isnt bad... BUT then the other 10 aka the beauty tribe + trace/scott/devon i have literally no connection to which is super scary JAKSDFA. im just real afraid of a swap. just swap me with jordan/jake/autumn/isaac PLEATHE. im just a pile of anxiety this season idk what to do im like frozen because of how scared i am... maybe it'll be all fine

Well, that was a close one. I struggled with that comp all day and I feel like absolute shit that I only got our team that 1 point. To me, it's inexcusable not to have be able to help my tribe as I wanted to contribute and make sure I made my worth known. So now I'm just this paranoid mess that I would have been in trouble had we gone to tribal. It's been hard to talk to some of these people or for most of those who I do talk to, I just don't really know where there head is at. I'm not sure if this is just a really guarded tribe, or if I really should be concerned. So I don't know what to do just yet. And that's not a feeling I like when playing TS.

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty sad that Bodhi left the game like he was so active pre-season so I was expecting him to do his best to go super far and maybe he did? I don’t know, but I did want a chance to actually get to play with him in TS but we keep passing each other by! I hope he is doing good despite how he might feel being the first boot yknow but yeah <3

The way I absolutely flopped with the idol system stuff is all types of funny and sad at the same time like I REALLY thought I did something only for it to be part of the challenge… That being said, Amir did tell me that he has a theory the idol system might be based on numbers which is interesting! I am super thankful he decided to tell me and we went on this long talk about how we are each other’s #1s which is super cute! I really do trust Amir and I do want to go far with him because he’s awesome but that being said, my #1 is me like I promised myself that I’d be selfish this time around just because being the selfless person I am hasn’t gotten me a win but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We did go over a lot of stuff in terms of tribe dynamics and we both kinda agreed that AJ would be the first boot from the time if we went to tribal, we like our alliance with Kendall/Connor, we both like Adam and we both think Austin is sweet/genuine even if we don’t talk to him tons so yay for that too <3

I am SO trying to sell the fact that me and Kendall are a duo to Kendall which is funny to me idk hjfkds like she did approach me super early on about aligning but I do have the tiniest feeling she did that to mostly everyone but I’m trying to pin us with each other to her so she trusts me more, especially since I do feel as though she is the best connected on the tribe. I even called us Crystal Cox (me bc blazing speed and challenge flop ofc) and Ken(dell) ghfjdksl, I’m doing the most but yeah, I just want Kendall to see me as her #1 in the game on the off chance anything happens yknow?

Austin thinks I’m his #1 which is really sweet? I do like Austin even if it is hard to talk to him sometimes but hey, that happens. He told me that he’s really glad I’m on this tribe (which I have heard from basically everyone especially Adam and Amir which makes me feel cute omg) and that we might need to get a group going soon. I was like…. Tea but I also don’t know how quickly I want to get an alliance including Austin going just because it’s like… do I reveal that Austin and I are close-ish and be seen as a social threat? That just ain’t cute sis! But yeah, Austin told me he also really likes Kendall and Amir and that’s awesome that the two people I feel the closest to are ALSO doing THAT but at the same time, I want to be the one doing THAT the most because I’m greedy (by Ariana Grande) so it’s something to keep in mind!

The way I absolutely flopped at that puzzle… this is why I’m a Beauty cause a sis ain’t smart to complete a puzzle and I’m not brawn-y enough to do well in a challenge hgjfdk BUT that being said, Hagthor beat the thots and apiss and I couldn’t be any happier! I do wish Brawn lost over Brain but yknow, you can’t have everything go your way (‘: it’s funny how I slayed the last challenge and flopped this one tho like a bitch really lacks consistency huh ghfjndmks

Ugh fineeeee since I've been called out... by myself. I guess I'll do the bare minimum. So we won immunity!!!! Wooo!!!!!! Low-key though through out the entire process of making the flag, I just kept thinking darn I wish we voted out someone last tribal because drawing 7 people is annoying... watch me get voted out next tribal council lol. That would be quality foreshadowing. Today I have two goals. 1. Figure out what the method of entering the tomb. I intend on getting in contact with Augusto or Connor for that one. Augusto because he is low-key my number one. Connor because I feel if anyone can solve it he probably could. 2. Set up group chat with me, Augusto, and Austin. So Austin can feel a false sense of reassurance and Augusto and I have options. Write more later maybe.

Honestly im feeling kind of trepidatious going forward which is a little wierd, i just dont feel like ive gotten my footing yet in this game. I think like, im in a good spot to be fine on this tribe because of my social game and how I contribute in challenges, but I dont know if I feel good about anything longterm just yet. What really is bothering me is the tomb. Its gonna be round 3 tonight and I haven't made any more progress on getting in than I have night one. I feel like I have a lot of pieces to this puzzle but nothing is fitting together and its bothering me. I'm also a little upset that if we lose, I could see Liam being the target and I can't see my self risking my position to save him if he cant save himself. He has my name on his wiki page its an obvious association to me, and while I think hed be loyal to me, I'm just wondering honestly if him as an ally is worth the target it may bring. Im cautiously moving through the beginning of this game with a lot of unnease and hopefully I find some steady ground soon.

I am annoyed that we are yet again at tribal. I played so fucking hard at winter bells but of course someone on another tribe got like 238593277 billion which threw us back into tribal... So annoying truthfully. But it's alright, I should be able to make it out alive. I want Devon to go home. But I also don't want to let my guard down. This vote is important for a few reasons. The first reason is that our tribe is very close, so I am nervous that lines are going to be drawn in the sand. The second is that, after this vote, we will be down to five, making 3 the majority. We have an alliance of 4, and lord knows that when you are down to 5, whoever feels like 3 and 4 of the alliance are most likely going to try and rope in the 5th person to get rid of each other. So my plan is to make Isaac and Scott BOTH feel as though they are my number 1s so that they actually stick to our alliance of 4 thinking that I will be keeping them both if we lose again. This is the only way that i can see it working, but idk. I feel bad if Devon ends up going because he's a nice guy, but we have to make choices about strengthening our team, and then I have to make a choice about strengthening my place in the game. Hopefully this doesn't come to bite me in the ass.

Things have been going pretty well for my tribe! We won the first immunity challenge and that really seemed to boost tribe morale. Granted, these past couple of days I've been quiet since I'm trying to boost grades that are literally 0s into something manageable before I graduate hehe. I've tried to keep up with people through small conversations, which seems to work better for me at the moment until I get myself together. Adam wants to create an alliance with Augusto and Amir, which I'm totally for. I understand, though, that he doesn't wanna do it immediately since there's really no urgency to? We didn't go to tribal, so why did it matter! That excuse aside, I do hope that us holding our breath to say something doesn't bite us in the ass because these are people I want to work with! I wanna get something going with Kendall as well hopefully, since I adore her! Earlier, I stated that Adam and I (Adam, really) found our way into the tomb and both flopped in the questions. Adam took another stab at it and found out we've been bamboozled! Someone beat us to the punch and has whatever contents were inside the tomb. I'm assuming it was an idol, but who knows what else is in there! It kinda made me lose motivation to keep searching inside but when in Rome? I'll probably end up trying again despite knowing the end result just because I wanna prove I can be a smart cookie as well. I also didn't gloss over this but I'll mention it really quickly, but I'm sad Bodhi went! He was one of the few people I was familiar with on the other tribes so it's unfortunate we aren't going to be able to connect with each other this game. A king has fallen. In lighter and more recents events, my tribe crushed the second immunity challenge. Kendall stunned with her artistry and I'm still gushing over how cute everyone's character was. I kinda like decimated Winterbells, but I've always been good at the game, and Amir did really well in the scavenger hunt. Augusto and Austin did really well in the puzzle also, despite their lack of confidence in offering a strong performance. We appear to be THEE tribe to beat honestly and I'm loving that. I love our tribe! I LOVE OUR TRIBE! It really would be a tragedy if we aren't able to keep up this win streak we're manifesting.

Sorry for not writing this sooner! Been having a bad depressive episode for the last couple days and it makes me unmotivated to write c': I feel like a flop so far in this game, not because I submit shit scores, but because I find it exhausting to connect with some of these people. They're all very nice in their own special ways, but interacting w some is like pulling teeth, and I guarantee they feel the same about me, which I would expect. That being said, I hope we keep winning, cause I don't have the energy to go to tribal right now.

Heading into a second tribal council, there is becoming less and less room to hide. I am struggling to hold my own against the other tribes when it comes to competitions, but thank goodness it's a numbers game. If everything goes accordingly, I am taking a backseat this vote and allowing a 4-2 vote out when it comes to Trace. I appreciated Duncan coming to me with the alliance chat information with him/Scott/Trace/Isaac, but didn't like how Autumn needed to tell me first. Shows that I really can't trust Scott/Duncan after a swap comes up. In regards to Scott, he outright didn't say anything. I like him and all, but it was a slimy move to say the least. He only said something because he HAD to vote out someone in one of his two alliances. This group will be dumb as hell if they let me swap. I'll flip on them as soon as possible and invite anyone into my alliance. The tribe swap is where I made my 'Slithers' game infamous last time, so I'm hoping for a similar output. Don't forget: I swapped with the minority last time in Guyana (shout out to Jess), so I'm not worried about the numbers and how its split. ALL I NEED IS A SWAP OR TWIST. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

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Thank God we won that based on the tiebreaker, but yikes I didn't think my flag would've tanked so hard. Guess I've gotta get better at perfecting my craft huh, but at least we're safe. I feel nervous on this tribe to be honest, because I think I'm the second to bottom on the totem pole after the other Liam, so it isn't reassuring that if we lose twice I'll either be gone, or I could even be gone at our first tribal if he's got a solid alliance going...the only alliance I have right now is with Jordan and I don't really know where I sit with everyone else, but I'm afraid of overplaying... ugh so annoying! I think I just need to force a couple of game related conversations with people to build up some trust, just hope it wouldn't paint a target on my back for trying I guess...

oh gorl, some of these people on my tribe really think im just the clown of the tribe and cant put two and two together, well guess what, IM NOT. So Amir messages me, which nothing out of the ordinary there, ive been talking to him every day so far for the most part like i said we're a little familiar with each other from our pasts, but i was VERY surprised today at what had happened... what had happened was....he starts talking the smallest bit of game with me, basically he just said, "is it me or is everyone really quiet here?" and so i just agreed with him and i said yeah i dont think people are talking game yet which is a little weird, and then i threw the TINEST tea crumpet out there and i said "yeah ive talked to some people so easily like you, but then there's others who.....i cant say the same for" and i was absolutely hinting at connor/kendall just because i havent had the longest convos with them, which no biggie, but THEN about 20 minutes later i get a message from CONNOR of all people saying "hey adam!" ..... obviously im glad to talk to him and im all for getting to know everyone, but my instincts immediately went off and told me it's a little sus....how not even a few minutes ago i was saying how some people never talk to me and then out of no where the one person i was mainly talking about messages me?? Coincidences don't exist in survivor. Now I really have no choice but to think that amir in someway mentioned to connor that i said theres some people i havent talked to at all and that he probably needed to work on that.. which is true, but cmon. i know the tribe brain cell is missing but at least put a little thought into this and message me later tonight or not right after i say it?? I'm not sure if they have any type of past connection and while I definitely do wanna keep building my relationship with Amir, this will definitely make me question him a little bit at least until i see how some votes fall when we eventually go to tribal. Amir also told me he's had the most convos with Augusto, which is funny because thats exactly how both me and aj feel about augusto, which tells me augusto is really playing the game rn, and while thats someone i want to work with, it's also someone i need to be extremely careful with if we're still playing together down the road. plot twist: connor messaging me has absolutely nothing to do with amir and i just made this whole conspiracy for nothing but idk.... it's a conspiracy IM interested in.

***last add on because i forgot to say how the hell im gonna HANDLE this amir/connor situation... im keeping my eyes on it incase theyre in kahoots and also if they think im that dumb then clearly they havent watched me play before, which is great for me but bad for them, you cant trick a trickster try all you want, There's nothing I love more than being underestimated in survivor because it kinda makes it a little easier to play and gives me more options, so sure ill keep up my fake smiles and act like we're all fine and dandy, ill play dumb and wont even act like im onto them but i absolutely am and ill be ready to make my move the second it seems right

Ugh I feel so DIRTY. I feel so GROSS. Poor Devon, truly. I spoke with Autumn and told her about Devon, and she was in without a fight and told me that it should be 5-1. And then Devon came to me and was like... we all good for the vote tonight? And I'm like ................yes? Lol. I'm good, you're probably not. ugh, this is the part of this game that I hate. I want to never lose immunity ever again, let someone else break someone else's heart!

Something about Kendall is so chaotic and terrifying and I can’t put a finger on why.her aligning was her talking to me for the first time in a day saying “let’s align” and created an alliance chat without even asking who else should be in it which leads me to believe her Augusto and Connor already have a trio and I was the 4th. Are all these focking people playing me?? Like i still cant tell if this is a real alliance but i want to believe it is and not a bluff to vote me out. But also like why even do that, the only person on this cast that I trust and have played with, bodhi, has just been voted out. I’m a free agent and I can help that alliance make it far in the game, but they also have lots of relationships on other tribes so like I might not even be that valuable to them. I mentioned to Augusto about the numbers on the blog, hoping to create more trust because I really really love him and want to trust him but I’m still just so damn unsure. if we lose this immunity and I get one bad signal from any of those 3, if they slip up even once, I won’t hesitate to align and gather the minority. But if they are playing me properly, then kudos to them!

I am just happy i have the idol i am going to put it in my ass.

me when the brains tribe only has 5 members left http://prntscr.com/s8y76g

You know what? https://66.media.tumblr.com/b7b4accba586ad321141b6ba80d69044/tumblr_omule3fwZC1w1swfno1_250.gifv I'm mad but I'm not tight because that same alliance that Duncan and I orchestrated is the same alliance that will get us through. So do I enjoy going to tribal? No. And do I enjoy knowing that Trace created an alliance w/ everyone except me and Devon? No. But the Dads will prevail and I trust Scott and the gang. I mean Ducnan is family so as long as we don't go it's fine. But Devon is my baby so absolutely gotta kill for him. That's what keep em close hahaha But no the Trace vote is a dream come true that I only crossed my mind once and STILL got manifested. Like Duncan suggested it and I said you got it because Trace will be the FIRST to rally all the white boys against me in a swap. Cute or not, Trace will kill me I'm convinced. Like something in my spirit told me not to trust Trace and low and behold: Duncan reveals that alliance to me on Day 3. So confirmed, Trace is leaving so that I don't fall to the bottom of the tribe. But it's all good- Isaac listens to Fleetwood Mac and watches Schitt's Creek so he's a good guy. And Scott is literally a cinammon roll who's too busy to snitch or flip. I don't have time to discuss how much I love Duncan or Devon so we're tabling that. Anyway If y'all need me I'll be doing this 4 part immunity challenge that determines whether I make Final 3 in the other org I'm in so try not to need me lmao

okay so... we aren't going to tribal but its still kinda messy on brawn beach. i kinda have felt this energy for a while, but i don't think jake and jordan have enough trust between the two of them for us to be a continual three person alliance. jake is a very reactive, gut-impulse kind of player which is honestly to his benefit since he is super perceptive. however that also means he is quick to be anxious about stuff in the game, which is the same as me and that is why we click. BUT. he thinks something is up with dan/jordan and honestly i see that and feel it. jordan keeps hinting at dan being the one to loop in and i think that does say something about them having some sort of game dynamic. however, jordan is maybe downplaying that relationship which is scary KLAF tbh i still like jordan and wanna work with him, but i do 100% have to keep tabs on him, his social connections could definitely become a problem if he has other priorities over me! so i think i just have to make sure im a continuing priority for him, so i have to find some sort of information to bring to him (maybe when dan proposes the alliance of me/jordan/jake/dan to me ill run to jordan and be like hey did dan suggest this to you how do you feel) to solidify that sort of trust? idk... i want my j-men to stick together and they ARENT. maybe i need to solidify stuff with TJ specifically more, he gives good ally vibes? but ya... its a mess tm

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