#anyway this is him when before coming here he found a random 10k money and told astari0n 'were gonna be living large babe!'

[4giorno]

how this first fight in the final battle is already making me feel

[sitp-recs]

hi :) i simply adore your blog and your fic recs are so spot on, you’ve made me fall back in love with drarry and hp. I rly love reading a fic before I go to sleep but I end up picking a 70k word one and end up staying up much longer than I wanted to so could you possibly recommend me any fics max 15k words, with a happy ending pls i need the cuteness to help me sleep 🥰 Thanku so so much xx

Hi anon! Thanks so much, I’m thrilled to know I had a small part in making you fall back in love with Drarry, that’s amazing! And what a mood lol I used to pick long fics before bed too, it’s a mighty trap 😂 I’ve read many short fics in the last year so I decided to go for these delightful and not-as-popular shorts, with excellent build up and happy endings. Perfect bedtime reads in my opinion! I got a bit too excited with this list so I’ll call it 31 Bedtime Reads! One for each day of the month ;) enjoy!

The Long Fall by @tackytigerfic (2021, M, 3.6k)

It's supposed to be a simple house renovation, and maybe it's just the paint fumes, but Harry is feeling dizzy around Draco Malfoy. And what's the real meaning of family, anyway?

oxygen by @maesterchill (2020, T, 4k)

Draco doesn’t smoke. Except when he needs to breathe.

A Charitable Christmas by Alisanne (2017, E, 5.6k)

Hermione’s plans to raise money for war orphans do not meet with Harry’s approval. Fortunately, Draco steps in to help him come up with a much more enjoyable strategy.

Harmony (Left-Handed Melody Remix) by mindabbles (2010, M, 5.8k)

He is the last person Draco was expecting, but then again, this is not a place Draco ever expected to be.

Vintage by momatu (2017, T, 7k)

Of all of the vineyards, in all of the regions, in all of France, Draco's blasted editor sends him to Potter's...

Our Ordinary Days by Lomonaaeren (2012, M, 8k)

Two men, both fathers of sons, meet in a bookshop. And the rest is the kind of history that doesn't make history.

Ice Snakes, Glow-worms and Wolverine Stew by khalulu (2015, M, 8.4k)

Harry Potter apparently wants to talk to Draco about something, but odd events keep getting in the way of that conversation – and bringing them closer together.

The Page Eleven Wars by fireflavored (2010, E, 8.5k)

In a gossip-hungry post-war Wizarding World, Rita Skeeter has a wildly successful column in the Daily Prophet known as Page Eleven. Naturally, her favourite targets are the poster boys of the two sides of the war: Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter.

Blind Date by JosephineStone (2016, T, 8.6k)

Draco’s been working with Harry for years when another one of his relationships goes stale. He has to be married within a year, and though the WizNet has burned him in the past, Draco finds a new possibility in man as desperate to marry as he is.

Stories in E Minor by @huldrejenta (2014, E, 8.7k)

Draco has found his place in the Muggle world. He's got his music, he's got his neighbours and he is content. Until a certain someone from the past enters his life again.

Life goes not backward by @shealwaysreads (2020, T, 8.8k)

Harry still isn’t used to gifts, but this one is different. A story of coming home, finding safe ground, and the wild courage of putting down roots.

Til Our Compass Stands Still by china_nightingale (2018, M, 9k)

Harry and Draco eventually realise that things don't always go to plan, even if it's a plan they've been carefully crafting to keep themselves safe from each other.

The Interest Here by disapparater (2015, T, 9k)

Draco has his own morning show on the wireless, which he loves; an ambitious assistant, whom he needs; and days in The Tea Shop, where he relaxes. He also has a new caller on the show, whom he finds bloody annoying.

Tidings of Comfort series by @blamebrampton (2012, G, 10k)

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life. Luckily for Draco Malfoy, London has places where the tired can rest and recover.

Sweet Indulgence by @the-sinking-ship (2020, E, 10k)

It doesn't matter that Marcy from Accounting is dancing on the tables, Shacklebolt is wearing antlers, and Elliot from Transportation is on his third round of Mariah Carey on karaoke because all the free champagne in the world won't salvage the Ministry Christmas party for Draco if Potter doesn't show up soon.

Settle in in my slow-burning heart by orphan_account (2015, NR, 10k)

Five years after the war Draco is working a tech developer job in the Auror Office, and it's all great except this one thing: Harry Potter works there, too.

Adventures in Truth and Texting by @fluxweeed (2020, E, 11k)

Former Death Eaters are being targeted with a Veritaserum curse – it’s permanent, and makes victims speak aloud their every thought. Luckily, it’s easier to control when writing.

fine i'll hold my breath / til i forget it's complicated by teatrolley (2015, NR, 11k)

Harry and Draco become friends with benefits, and Harry thinks it's more complicated than it actually is.

Rebuilding Draco Malfoy by khasael (2011, E, 11k)

Draco wants to do something to get his life back on track, but no-one seems to be taking him seriously – until he finds himself in an Auror training session led by Harry Potter.

Cold Like Fire by QueenofThyme (2012, M, 12k)

Head Auror Harry Potter had no problem with mandatory consent training for his team. He’d actually been looking forward to it, that is, until he discovered who the teacher was.

What’s My Age Again? by @lazywonderlvnd (2018, E, 12k)

Harry Potter has had enough of pleasing the public, and his reckless tendencies are finally getting out of hand.

Title of Their Sex Tape by @cibeewastaken (2020, T, 12k)

What are the Wizarding world's most elite law enforcers doing when they aren't catching criminals? It seems Auror Malfoy is often caught throwing food into Auror Potter's mouth when he's mid-yawn.

Kill, Fuck, Marry by @lettersbyelise (2018, E, 12.6k)

Harry and Draco unexpectedly meet again on Draco’s birthday, years after their last encounter.

The Year of Non-Magical Thinking by whiskyandwildflowers (2018, E, 13k)

“I don't know what I'm going to do, Potter. I'll think of something. So will you. But this is my journey to self-actualization," Draco managed to smirk. "You can fuck off and get your own."

Evolution by @potteresque-ire Pie (2013, M, 13k)

Draco Malfoy was condemned to live a Muggle’s life for his three-year probation. His wand was locked away, and he was forbidden to set foot in Wizarding Britain until Hermione Granger secured a job for him in the Aurors’ stock room.

Plan Alphabet by @xx-thedarklord-xx (2019, T, 14k)

After realizing that his feelings for Harry were unfortunately real, Draco embarks on a foolproof—yes, Longbottom, foolproof—plan to woo Potter.

Countdown by dysonrules (2013, M, 14k)

When the Wizarding world is plagued by random outbreaks of Dark Magic, the Ministry assigns Curse-Breakers to assist Auror teams on their missions.

All Roads Lead Home by @dracogotgame (2015, G, 15k)

Draco is strong-armed into spending the first Christmas after the War with the Weasleys. And Harry Potter.

Espresso Patronum by @tasteofshapes (2020, T, 15k)

When Draco reappears five years after the war and opens a wildly popular coffee shop, Harry’s pretty sure that Draco’s Up to Something. He just has to prove it.

An Act of Kindness for One Harry Potter by a Sympathetic Draco Malfoy by 0idontknow0 (2014, E, 15k)

Someone should give Potter a better rogering than that sorry sod had. The man had saved the bloody world—okay, mostly Europe—the least someone could do was give him a proper shag.

Turn and Face the Strange (time may change me) by @punk-rock-yuppie (2019, T, 16k)

Draco and Harry and how their relationship—and themselves—change over the course of eleven years.

[psychicdreamfriendoperator]

Can I get some headcanons with Free dating someone? I am WEAK

I might have rambled a bit on this one haha, feel free to resend the ask if you wanted something else!

— Psychic

.

.

.

Things to Note

the name should be an indicator, but Free enjoys his freedom— he’ll be resistant to anything that restricts it.

the Shishigumi comes first; even if Free is laidback, he's still part of the gang’s inner circle.

.

.

.

Meeting Free

surprisingly enough, your relationship with Free did not begin as anything sexual.

It doesn't even begin as a friendship — it's difficult to describe a situation wherein you find a random lion in your house.

You think he was trying to rob you.

You fainted, of course.

When you awoke, you found yourself on the floor with a nasty ache in your back and a note nearby.

The words were scribbled hastily in print; “WILL VISIT AGAIN SOON”.

You filed a police report, but nothing came of it— other an officer’s promise that the station would keep an eye out for “any suspicious characters”.

The police station is blind, you concluded. Reason being, the lion returned exactly a week later.

Now, Free (as you’ve learnt is his name) just waltzes in and makes himself at home.

No matter how often you changed the locks or fortified the windows, Free found a way in.

It was almost like a game for the feline— you gave up on trying to keep him out.

Free had a nasty habit of not taking off his dirty ass shoes before he put his feet up on your white couch.

As your relationship progressed, he became more mindful of his behaviour— though, it took him a while to remember not to put his shoes all over your furniture.

.

.

.

Gifts

you grew used to the lion visiting you randomly. Sometimes, Free did not visit you empty handed.

Free gave you an expensive phone— albeit one with a cracked screen, a watch that smelled like seawater and a couch with red polka-dots to replace the one he dirtied with the grime at the bottom of his shoe.

It took you ten minutes of cleaning your “brand-new” sofa to realise that the red spots were not part of the original design.

It was definitely best not to ask Free where exactly he sourced his gifts from.

You eventually began to feel a bit poorly about receiving things from him all the time.

The first time you presented Free with a gift, he shut down.

.

.

During his visits, Free liked to make use of your bathroom. He always set his suit, tie and shoes one side while he cleaned himself (and used up all your hot water in the process).

It was inevitable that you would notice the wrinkles, and the scuff marks.

You couldn't have something so unkempt in your house. It wasn't an issue for you to do a quick spot of ironing.

Even the shoes could be made presentable— you just had to wipe them off and apply a bit of black polish.

When Free realised what you had done, he seemed to be speechless. Just when you expected to hear a “Thank you Y/N”, God quickly brought you back to reality.

“You're going to do this sort of thing from now on?” He held the suit jacket up by its sleeves, as if searching for the wrinkles he knew were no longer present.

You shrugged. “If you keep your shoes off my couch, then sure,”

.

.

You thought that your gift would encourage him to visit more often, but for a whole month, Free did not visit you.

You wondered if the police had finally caught the bastard— but, after a month, he returned as if nothing had ever happened.

After that, he no longer showered at your place.

.

.

.

Free’s Thoughts & Motivations

this ‘relationship’ was the longest one Free had ever been in.

The lion who bathed in the revelry of the Black Market now looked forward not just to bloodshed, but to movie marathons and hearing you bitch about your neighbours.

The fear of this casualty metamorphosing into something serious . . . something permanent, compelled Free to leave you alone for a while to collect his thoughts.

He only visited you because your home was a convenient place to rest before returning to the Mansion.

(The night you met him, he'd broken in to avoid a police patrol in the area.)

The presents were bribes to keep you complacent.

(Though . . . maybe he felt a bit bad about ruining your sofa.)

As much as your gesture touched him, Free wanted nothing in return.

Your gift was proof that you held some kind of affection for him.

Free returned to the Mansion feeling quite warm inside that day, but he didn't dare shower at your place again.

The affection that you held for him, no matter how miniscule, was addictive.

.

.

.

Dating

The others didn't pay much attention to it when Free casually mentioned that he had a “friend" outside of the Black Market.

The inner circle grew suspicious when he refused to elaborate further.

.

.

“It's time that we address the elephant in the room.” Dolph gave a pointed look at the only empty chair in the room.

Free’s chair.

The others around the table nodded once in solemn agreement. Then, someone raised their hand.

Dolph’s expression seemed to soften the smallest amount. “Yes, Agata?”

“Who’s going to kill him if we find out he’s planning to leave the gang? I would volunteer but my shoulder's still healing from that last gang war—”

Before the scar-faced lion could reply, Ibuki interjected. “This is Free we are discussing— he would not betray the Shishigumi in such a manner. There's no need to discuss things like that,”

He tapped a claw against the table, “In any case, we will get to the bottom of this. Tonight.”

.

.

.

A Cause For Concern

you thought that you were being paranoid.

You hoped that you weren't really being followed.

There was no mistaking it.

Everywhere you went, everytime you went outside, it was there.

A singular black car.

.

.

“Eh? What are you panicking about?” You heard Free's voice, but you didn't respond. You tossed your car keys, and they landed on the kitchen table.

You sped over to the windows. With one, great motion, you drew them, only stopping when the entire house was draped in darkness.

“There’s this black car . . . It’s been tailing me all weekend,” Though your voice was calm, your hands were shaking as you made your way back to the couch.

Free grew thoughtful, but only for the briefest of moments. He waved dismissively, and lapped one leg over the other, pulling you onto his lap with his free arm.

“Don’t worry about it. Just the Shishigumi being the Shishigumi. They won't break in or anything,”

Silence hung in the air only for half a minute, before Free added, “Probably won't, anyways,”

But, you are more focused on the s-word, rather than on what they may or may not do to your home.

“Shishigumi . . .?” The word was foreign on your tongue, but it was not entirely unfamiliar.

You didn't move off of his lap, but you gently pried off the hands that held your waist in place.

If you didn't know better, you would have sworn that Free looked just a bit . . . hurt by your actions. Still, he got the message and his hands remained at either side of himself.

You were grateful for that much.

“I didn't stutter,” The lion tsked. His hand slid over his mane. He was antsy about something, thag much you knew.

When Free next spoke, his voice was low. His chin rest atop your head, and you could easily feel the calming vibration of his throat.

“It doesn't bother you, right?”

A sigh escaped your lips. You pinched your nose. You internally debated strangling him for daring to ask something with such an obvious answer.

Of course you would mind! You felt as if you had always known Free was part of some illegal operation— but, it had never crossed your mind to assume the lion was in an actual gang!

No . . . that was a lie.

The thought had crossed your mind. You willed the thought to go away everytime it reared its ugly head.

“No, I don't mind, Free. I don't mind at all.”

.

.

.

Going Steady

Free talked things out with his colleagues— that's what he told you, at least.

The ominous black vehicle that stalked your every move disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared.

Life went back to normal, though, the visitor's list expanded by eight more lions.

Ibuki and Dolph were infrequent visitors— if they stopped by, then you knew it was on important business.

Agata often fetched your groceries, so you saw him often.

Miguel, Dope and Jinma visited infrequently, but were not as rare to see as Ibuki and Dolph.

Hino, like Agata, was a regular. He mostly crashed in your guest room— apparently, it was easier to fall asleep at your place.

Once every few months, Sabu would deliver your groceries instead of Agata. He seemed nice enough, but you found him to be intimidating as hell.

For better or for worse, Free begun spending nights at your house.

It would be wrong to call him a freeloader, though.

.

.

“There's ten grand in here . . .” You murmured to yourself. You turned the envelope over in your hands. Your name was written on the side, in Free's chickenscratch penmanship.

But, there was also a note; “10K. RENT MONEY FOR Y/N.”

[tobesobri]

Ahh okay here it is!! I don’t think I have ever successfully written a prologue before, but this scene was pretty essential and didn’t really fit into the first chapter (and also the first chapter is already almost 10k words soooo). Anyway, I hope you enjoy even though this is just an introduction! I’d love to know your thoughts as always! Thank you for reading if you chose to!

♠︎  story warnings: death, violence, mentions of suicide and abuse, alcohol use, blood, sexual content

♣︎  word count: 1,921

STORY TAG // PLAYLIST // MOODBOARD // CHARACTERS // MY MASTERLIST // ASK TAG // MY INBOX

There wasn’t a single thing Harry enjoyed about this. He didn’t enjoy not having Noah at his side and he definitely did not enjoy being surrounded by so many people.

But he was here for the money. Money that he always needed more of no matter what the job entailed and he would take it, no questions asked.

Even if he really wanted to know who exactly he was meeting and why they wanted him alone.

And also why they were nearly fifteen minutes late, if Harry was doing the math right when he glanced at his watch.

They were meeting in public, surrounded by couples and families enjoying a nice Italian dinner on a Saturday night, which eased his nerves to a certain degree. Witnesses could come in handy, he supposed. As long as none of them tried to talk to him.

Nothing often rattled Harry, but when all the communication he’d gotten from this client was a single piece of paper stuffed into a black envelope and delivered to him via some random man on a bicycle when he’d been hobbling home drunk last night… he had every reason to be a little bit rattled.

That piece of paper hadn’t even given him much information, just an address, a time, and instructions to get a table under his own last name. He might’ve hated that the most because it was further confirmation that this person knew so much more about him than Harry was comfortable with. It didn’t often work that way. Most of his clients knew his first name and, through a friend of a friend, how to contact him. But this person knew where he would be last night even when Harry himself had no idea—on account of being drunk—and this person knew his last name. 

Which was something only his closest friends knew. 

So, Harry was equally apprehensive and curious, and a tad bit agitated as well. It wasn’t the best combination of things to be, but when you’ve been waiting for twenty minutes for a nameless person to show up at your dinner table, a little agitation should be expected.  

Especially since Harry could be doing so many other, better things with his time.

Things that involved his bed, his hands, and his imagination, for starters. 

Then maybe he’d make his way down to The Hallows for the remainder of the night and blow off the rest of the steam that had boiled inside of him throughout the day.

There always had to be an escape from his life, and lives like his. Something that would act as a key and lock away all the bad shit for the rest of eternity. Most people, like his friends, for example, turned toward sex. It didn’t really work for Harry, though, not unless he had actual feelings for the person he was fucking, which was about as rare as a flying pig. And tending to it himself was a numbing high that only lasted so long. Others turned to alcohol—which was a quick and effective fix if he wanted to erase some highly concerning memories. He didn’t quite enjoy the side effects of that, however. There were other vices, of course, but the only one Harry found most effective was fighting.

It had long term effects. To begin with, it got rid of the anger and the guilt. And the injuries and pain he’d have to attend to afterwards gave him something else to focus on. So by the next morning or the following day, he had no idea why he’d been upset in the first place. It was a win-win… well except for the poor bastard who’d been at the receiving end of his knuckles. But he figured they knew what they were getting themselves into.

So, yes, a win-win.

Harry drummed his fingertips on the table for the hundredth time, and by the hundred-and-first time, the mood in the room had shifted. His hand closed into a fist as his entire body went into attack mode without even being told to. A thick, invisible cloud of trepidation settled into the room and as he bounced his eyes off of various patrons, they all seemed to be staring at the same thing. 

Not him, but something behind him. Something that was approaching.

Harry didn’t turn his head, no matter how much the curiosity ate at him. He was going to wait, wait until whoever it was came to face him because he’d be damned if he showed even an ounce of weakness, of him bending a knee to that burning, itching need to know.

Seconds passed like hours and then, through all the clamor in the restaurant, Harry heard the footsteps drawing nearer. He lounged back, seemingly unbothered even though he felt his heart beating in his ears as he cursed under his breath for not having sat on the other side of the booth.

He didn’t turn until the figure loomed at the head of his table and then when he did finally avert his bored gaze, Harry couldn’t stop himself from letting the facade slip. It was slight, his eyes widening a centimeter, his lips parting even less than that, but it was enough. The man standing before him, who looked down at Harry as if he was nothing but a bug to be exterminated, fixed his mouth into a knowing smirk.

Dominic Aldine.

The name fluttered to Harry’s lips but he remained silent, shifting his features back into indifference as Dominic undid the button of his overcoat and slid into the seat opposite Harry. The man never went anywhere alone, and with one glance over his shoulder, Harry spotted the two guards near the entrance, their gazes fixed on him.

“Harry.” Dominic’s voice was just as he’d remembered. Always assuaged and leveled but not in a very comforting way. “Long time no see.”

Harry scoffed, slipping lower into the booth, hoping his face looked as casual as he was attempting to make his body. “Last I saw you I was seventeen and you were trying to kill me.”

Dominic grinned, his teeth a shining, bright white. “Clearly I did not try hard enough.”

Harry humphed and lowered his gaze, toying with a half-empty salt shaker. Harry hadn’t grown up with Dominic, nor had he been trained by him like countless others were. He’d never met nor seen any of Dom’s little minions, but Harry was sure they were all just as terrible as the man himself.

And for someone so terrible, he was unfairly handsome. Harry had once envied Dominic’s looks, his high cheekbones and how effortless his slicked-back hair always seemed. It was what got Dominic everything he wanted, Harry later found out. Even as the man neared his late forties, he could still use those looks to his advantage. 

“No hard feelings?” Dom was hardly asking for forgiveness, and the amusement in his tone was enough confirmation of that.

Harry sighed, surveying the dark scruff along Dom’s sharp jaw that he hadn’t shaved in a few days. He had either given up on caring about every little detail of his appearance, or Dom was distracted by something. But as Harry met his deceivingly kind, chocolatey brown eyes, there was no other sign of distress. Especially not when Dom grinned wickedly at him again.

“What do you want?” Harry was callous as he got to the point. Hard feelings indeed.

Dominic leaned back in his seat, a stray strand of his perfect black hair spilling onto his forehead as he looked at Harry with gratification. “I’m in need of your skills.”

Harry narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You can find my skills elsewhere.”

“No,” Dom shook his head, “I can’t.”

“What happened to Ember?”

Dom’s lips flattened into a straight, thin line and a muscle tensed in his jaw. Not that Harry was particularly afraid of the man, but if he was, the look he’d just received would have made him shit his pants. 

But then Dom caught himself and cleared his throat. “That’s why I need you.”

Harry had never met Ember, didn’t even know who they were or what they looked like. He just knew the name and their reputation as Dom’s best of the best. They’d taken out swarms of men without breaking a sweat, according to the stories Harry had heard. And if Dom had lost Ember, then that would explain why he seemed to be so frazzled. As frazzled as Dominic Aldine could seem, of course.

“I need you to kill Ember.”

Harry stilled, unsure if Dom was being serious or not. Harry was good, but Ember… Ember was a deadly ghost that frightened even him. 

“Why?” Harry finally demanded once he’d ascertained that Dom was, in fact, completely serious. And he wasn’t agreeing to a damn thing before he knew the man’s reasoning.

Dom smiled and leaned his elbows onto the table. “She went off on her own. I have practically no clientele now.”

“Wait.” Harry shook his head in disbelief. “Ember’s a girl?”

“I’d hardly call her that. And if you’d like to keep your balls, you’d remember to not call her that either.”

“You want me to kill a woman?” Harry kept his voice down. As obvious as it was to anyone paying attention that Dom was up to no good, he still didn’t need witnesses.

“A woman that will eat you alive when you least expect it.”

Harry flinched. “So why not make her come back?”

Dom snorted as if Harry had just suggested the most preposterous thing he’d ever heard. “You try making her do something she doesn’t want to and see how it goes. Then you might understand why I want her dead.”

Harry hesitated. He’d never killed a woman, nor did he want to, no matter how deadly that woman was. Maybe if she was threatening his life, he’d fight back but he definitely wouldn’t enjoy it. And he especially didn’t want to do it for Dominic fucking Aldine.

“I pay well, you know that. I’ll triple whatever you normally make. I know you and your little… family need the money.”

Harry balled his hands into fists at the mention of his family. None of them were blood related but he considered them his brothers and sisters, ones that he’d found on his own. If Dom planned on threatening them to get what he wanted, then Harry would sooner gut the man right there in the middle of everyone’s spaghetti dinner.

Dom sensed Harry’s apprehension and sighed. “No harm will come to them, you have my word.”

“Your word is worthless.”

Dominic’s lips twitched as he fought a smile. He was nothing if not a manipulative, deceptive cunt. “Fine then. What do you normally make? Five grand? Ten?” Harry remained an immobile, unreadable statue. “I’ll give you three hundred.”

Harry kept his reactions at bay, then sat forward, gritting his teeth. “Five hundred.” He was well aware that he was bartering for more as if he wouldn’t be lucky to have that three hundred thousand dollars alone. He couldn’t exactly pass up the opportunity to squeeze as much money out of Dom as he could, though.

Dom’s scarred eyebrow flicked upward. “Greedy, aren’t you?”

“Do you want her dead or not?”

Dom seemed to consider Harry’s question for a moment, then smiled and lifted himself from the booth, doing up his coat button and slicking back his hair once he was standing. “We have a deal then, Styles.”

[faefictions]

The Kids From Yesterday | 1

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x Reader

Word Count: 3,770

Summary: A road trip with her friends on the way to move in with her boyfriend makes the reader realize that she might not be as in love with the person she thought she was. 

A/N: Ok, so this was going to be just a one shot, but I couldn't control myself, and it got to be over 10k words before it was even half done, so here is part one of a 3 part (or not, idk how many) series!! 

Being in your early twenties is a weird time. Some of your friends are still living at home with curfews, some are still slogging through college, and some are getting married and starting the rest of their lives. When you were younger, you didn’t particularly see yourself being the latter of those options, you had imagined you would wait until your late twenties to settle down. But here you were, 22, sitting across from your boyfriend of 3 years. He had just asked you to move back home with him, and you were sitting speechless. He took it as a happy shock, but if you were going to be honest, it was anything but. 

None of your friends really liked your boyfriend, Adam. He wasn’t specifically terrible in any way, but he wasn’t exactly the best fit for you. He was very reserved in social settings, which wasn’t too off-putting for you, but it made it impossible to hang out with your group of friends. You had been friends with the Hollands since birth, so it was difficult to see them not get along with Adam, but you weren’t surprised. 

As Adam waited for your reply, you tried to use logic instead of listening to your heart. You of course had a place to stay already, and had never lived anywhere else, but your lease with your best friend and roommate, Harry, was going to be up in a couple months and you were already talking about trying to find a new place. You hadn’t been set on it, but this seemed to be a sign that maybe it was time. And you had never lived far from your hometown, so maybe this was a new adventurous chapter for you. So you agreed. You hadn’t thought about the implications it had for the relationship, but it was too late. 

When you got home that night and told Harry, he was less than happy. 

“Are you shitting me? Isn’t that something you should think over?” 

“Harry, come on. I’ve been dating him for years now, it’s about time we move in together anyway.”

“Yeah, in a flat across town, not in another city, hours away.”

“Harry, come on…”

“When?”

“I think he said next month? But I told him I was staying here with you until our lease is up and that I can just fly out and meet him there.”

Harry went to bed with a frown that night, but it was nothing compared to telling the rest of your friends. Harry’s twin, Sam, was the only one who tried to be at all supportive of you. Their older brother Tom was just as outraged as Harry, but the worst out of all of them was Harrison. 

You had only met Harrison a few years before you started dating Adam, so your relationship was different than the ones you had with the Holland boys. To be completely honest, you had had a huge crush on him before you got with Adam, but you knew that dating a friend would cause nothing but trouble, so you gave it up and moved on. 

Harrison was very protective of you, something that you loved. Even when Harry would simply tease you, Harrison would be by your side to defend you. He had been there for every single stupid fight you had with Adam, always holding you until you were stable enough to confront your boyfriend again. So when he heard the news of your leaving, his face fell, and it broke your heart. 

The 4 boys left empty beer cans littering the counters of your apartment’s kitchen while they drunkenly discussed their “secret” plans to get you to stay. You had argued that it wasn’t secret if you were there to listen, but they shushed you each time. You had to draw the line when they eventually came up with a plan to kill Adam and kidnap you. 

“Guys,” you laughed out to get their attention, “I’m sorry, but I have to go. As much as I would love to stay here and spend the rest of my life with you drunken idiots, I have to settle down at some point.”

A sad silence fell over the room, but Harry put a quick end to it. 

“You said he was going to head out there before you, yeah?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, how about, we all drive you out instead of you flying to meet him? We can make it a road trip, we’ll take the weekend off and send you off with some proper memories to remember us by.”

The boys all agreed that that was the only way they were going to let you out of their grasp. It sounded like fun, and would save you money since you didn’t have to book a last minute flight, so you agreed. 

A month later, Adam flew back to his hometown and began to look for an apartment for the two of you. He had a job arranged already, and you had a few interviews. You tried your best to be excited. You had been craving a change to spice up your mundane life for a while, but this just felt wrong. You loved Adam, but the second he had asked you to go, you had started to question how far that feeling extended. Moving to his home town with him was a big commitment, but you weren’t sure it was one you were wanting to make. You were sure you weren’t ready to be married to him, but the more time you had to think about it, the more you realized that you were fine with being married at this age, you just didn’t want to be married to Adam. But you were in too deep to back out, and every time Adam called you to update you on the apartment search you were reminded by the hope that he would never find something. 

A week before your lease was up, your phone screen lit up, and you knew it was the call you had been dreading. He had found the perfect apartment. It was affordable and 10 minutes from a beach. It had a large kitchen and beautiful patio with a view. It was more than you could ask for, and the pictures should have made you feel better about the move, but not even a mansion could make you happy about leaving. 

You of course decided to hide this feeling from your friends. If any of the 4 boys found out, they would easily talk you out of it. You just didn’t want to hurt Adam, so you decided to give it a year. If you weren’t happy, you could always move back. 

Despite losing his roommate, Harry decided to renew the lease under his name, and he told you if you ever wanted to come back, your room would be open for you. He helped you pack up your things every night for a week before you had to go. It mostly consisted of him throwing things in boxes from across the room and you yelling at him for nearly breaking all of your belongings, but it didn’t make it any less special. 

The night before you were set to leave, you both sat on the kitchen floor with a complete mess surrounding you. You were going through each and every belonging and sorting through what belonged to each of you. An hour into sorting, you guys broke out the alcohol, and the sorting became much slower, but the laughter that filled the apartment made it ok. There were mugs and plates scattered across the floor, random utensils and gadgets lying between them, and in the middle was the pair of you with bottles in your hands. 

“Ok, but do you remember when our neighbor lit her curtains on fire? They smell spread through the entire building, and you thought it was my cooking,” Harry laughed. 

“Of course I do. Do you remember when that same neighbor had that man over and we had to turn the volume on our movie up as far as it could go to drown out their moaning?”

“Burned into my skull.”

You both continued to reminisce as a knock came at the door. You chose to ignore it at first, you wanted to enjoy the last moments you had with Harry as your roommate, the person you wished you could remain living with. But the knock came again, so you got up, realizing suddenly that you had had more to drink than you originally thought. 

You stumbled over to the door and opened it to reveal Harrison on the other side. The frown you had from being dragged away from Harry was quickly replaced with a beaming smile when you realized who it was. 

“Haz,” you exclaimed, throwing your arms around his neck, “What are you doing here?”

“Have you been drinking?” he chuckled, hands going to your waist. 

“I am an adult and it is 10 pm, you have no room to judge, buddy.”

He smiled at you and took a few steps past so he could close the front door for you. “Is Harry around?”

“In here,” Harry called from the kitchen floor. 

When Harrison saw the mess surrounding Harry, his face fell to confusion. “Are you guys just trashing the place now?”

“We were sorting through our things, don’t want y/n missing anything when she leaves. What are you doing here?” Harry asked as he stood up to join you. 

“I just wanted to see y/n one last time before we left. The apartments not going to be the same without you.” 

You tried to hide your blush as you went to offer Harrison a beer from your nearly emptied fridge. He happily took the drink and joined both of you on the kitchen floor. He sat quietly as you and Harry continued to reminisce, a smile appearing on his face with each story. You had noticed that he was quieter than usual, but you were too caught up in the conversation to ask him if he was alright. 

After a few hours of drinking on the kitchen floor, the three of you had finally sorted through everything in the kitchen and cleaned up the mess. It was nearing midnight, and as much as you wanted to soak up every last second in the place you had spent the happiest moments of your life, you knew that you had to get some rest for the trip. 

“Do you want to stay over tonight, Harrison?”

“Yeah, if that’s fine with you guys.”

“Can we have a sleepover in the living room?” you excitedly asked both of them. There was no way they could say no to your excitement. Within minutes, the couches were covered in blankets and pillows and you were searching for a movie to fall asleep to. You settled on an old action movie that you had seen multiple times with Harry. By the time you had settled into your corner of the couch, Harry was already asleep. You were laying with your head on the arm rest, feet curled up near your chest to leave room for Harrison on the other end of the couch. 

“Are you excited to leave tomorrow?” you heard Harrison quietly ask over the movie. 

You sat up a little so you could see him clearly. He looked over at you, patiently waiting for a response. You considering telling him about the internal dread you held on the subject, but you had hid it to prevent any of the boys from talking you out of it. Since you were still able to be coerced to stay, you decided against it, but hated lying to him. 

You settled on replying with, “I’m a bit nervous.”

“Why would you be nervous?”

Of course it was because you didn’t want to be with Adam, but that was more information you couldn’t divulge. 

“It’s just further than I’ve ever been from home, you know? But I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Harrison could tell you were hiding something, but he knew that you were holding back for a reason, so he pretended to believe you. 

Nothing else was said as both of your eyes reluctantly turned back to the television, slowly coaxing you both to sleep. 

The next morning, you woke up to your alarm going off. The slight headache from the alcohol you had consumed the night before was the last thing on your mind. You tried not to tear up as you woke up the 2 boys. You were feeling a depressing amount of nostalgia, and it was getting hard to hide. But you powered through, and once the boys were awake, all attention was off of you as they began to take your things out to the car. Sam and Tom showed up within an hour after you had woken up, and shortly after, everyone was packed into the car along with the bags and boxes. Luckily you hadn’t needed to bring much. All of your furniture was going to be picked up by your parents to be brought back to your childhood bedroom, and Adam had the furnishings of your new apartment arranged. 

The five of you had arranged to share a large hotel room so you could split the drive over 2 days. You could have easily made it in one, but they refused to let you go so soon. They had also planned a few surprise stops along the way. 

You spent the first leg of the drive trying to force yourself to live in the moment. Your brain was torn between wanting to soak in every last second with your friends and dreading the destination of your trip. While you knew you would see them again, you weren’t used to not seeing at least one of the boys everyday, so you did your best to focus on them, but the dread was built up so high in the back of your mind that it became impossible to ignore anymore. 

After a couple hours of driving, you made it to the first planned stop. It was a large restaurant in the middle of a town you hadn’t heard of. You had no idea why the boys were all so excited to take you there, but it was obvious once you saw the interior. There were deep red tablecloths covering each small table, fancy dishes professionally set atop each one. There was a large, beautiful chandelier in the middle of the large room. The boys all watched your face light up when you saw the inside, and their smiles matched yours when they saw your excitement. 

“How did you guys find this place?”

“It was Harrison’s idea,” Tom smiled. 

“I saw a picture of it on Instagram, thought you might like it.”

You were surprised that the hostess led your group to a table with how you all were dressed. None of you were wearing anything fancier than jeans, and this restaurant didn’t seem like the kind of place to allow anything less than black tie apparel.

The food you received was amazing, and the company was of equal quality. The meal could have lasted 15 minutes, but you remained seated for over an hour, laughter filling the quiet room. For being so fancy, the place was surprisingly empty. 

When you got back on the road, you sat in the backseat between Harry and Sam. Music was blasting through the stereo speakers and the windows were all down, allowing the breeze to blow everyones hair into their faces. You were finally able to push the thoughts to the back of your head and enjoy the car ride, listening to the boys sing along to every song. The drive passed by quicker than you hoped, and you were at the hotel before sundown. 

The room the boys had rented had two beds and a pullout couch. The twins called one of the beds, and Tom suggested you share the other with Harrison and he could take the pullout. 

You brought your small bag into the room and set it next to the bed designated as yours. The white sheets made it look incredibly inviting, and you were almost tempted to crawl underneath them and take a nap, but it was only late afternoon and if you slept at that point, you were going to be up way too early the next morning.  

You weren’t sure who had suggested it first, but everyone had agreed that you all needed to find somewhere to get drunk together. You put your shoes on as the others rushed in and out of the bathroom to get ready. 

Within the hour, you left the hotel room and found yourself at a loud local bar. The music blasted through the speakers, and you smiled endlessly as you downed shot after shot of whatever drink was cheapest. You planned on getting the most out of your money for the night. You tried to drag Harry out to the dance floor that had a small crowd of people who were just as terrible as you, but he refused to be seen dancing in public. 

“I don’t care how much I have in me, I won’t be caught dead out there tonight, y/n.”

As Harry walked to the booth where his twin was sitting, Harrison took your hand and laughed at your angry, scrunched up face. He led you to where you were trying to take Harry, and you stuck your tongue out over your shoulder to Harry from across the room. He smiled and did the same to you. 

The three Holland boys watched as you drunkenly danced with Harrison. You were a few shots ahead of all of them, and it was no secret that you didn’t hold your liquor as well either. You bought a few more shots, but Harrison cut you off eventually, trying to get you to go sit down at the booth with the rest of your friends. 

“Its either dancing or more alcohol for me, pick your poison, Haz.”

“Actually, it’s your poison. Dancing it is.”

Your dancing was more of a series of jumping and singing along loudly as you flailed yours and Harrison’s arms. To anyone else, it may have looked ridiculous, but to your friends, it was just you having a good time, something they had missed seeing. It was rare to get a night out like this with you. Adam had really put a damper on your adventures with these boys, and eventually he had put an end to them. 

You told Harrison you were going to the bathroom a few minutes after you had been “cut-off”, but you just used it as an excuse to order a few more shots while his back was turned. You had one down when Harrison reached you, wrapped his arms around your waist and tried to carry you away from the counter. You were laughing too hard and flailing around too much for him to get very far. He set you down on the dance floor, a few feet away from where he had grabbed you. 

“I said no more,” he lectured, but he couldn’t help the smile creeping up on his face. You were pretending to have no idea what he was talking about, and he found it adorable.  

“I just wanted one more. I’m having a good time, Haz,” you finally admitted. 

“And you’re one shot away from a bad time.”

You scrunched your nose at him, just like you had done when Harry refused to dance with you. You both knew he was right, so you didn’t fight him on it. 

You two walked back to the table and spent some quality time with the rest of the group. They mostly just made fun of your dancing, but you just claimed they were all too chicken to have any real fun by making fools of themselves. You did sneak off one more time to get the last shot you had already paid for, but no one caught you that time. 

You were almost asleep on Harry’s shoulder when the boys decided it was time to go back to the hotel. They each offered to carry you, but you insisted that you were completely capable of making it back. 

As you walked back to the hotel, you did stumble a little, so Harrison slowed down to your pace, keeping an arm tight around your shoulder as you both trailed behind the others. 

“Thanks for dancing with me tonight,” you beamed up at him. 

“Of course, I was just glad to see you having a good time.”

“It’s been a while.”

“Well you’ve been living your life, we understand.”

“No, I mean it’s been a while since I’ve had a good time.”

Harrison furrowed his brow at the change in your tone. He wanted to ask what you meant, but felt that he shouldn’t push it when you were this intoxicated. 

“Can you keep a secret?” You asked, a little slurred. 

“Of course, but…”

“I don’t think I love Adam. I’m kind of afraid I’m making a huge mistake.”

“Y/n…”

“I really should have dumped him when he asked me to move in with him instead of saying yes, but I was dumb. And I’ve been thinking about it, I think I’d rather marry a…a sea urchin.”

He laughed at how you spat the words “sea urchin”, but his laughter quickly subsided as he sadly glanced down at you. Your eyes were set in front of you, and he had never seen them look so dead. 

“I wish I could go back in time and say no,” you whispered after a few beats, and he caught a glimpse of a tear roll down your cheek. 

He finally paused on the sidewalk and pulled you into his arms, hugging you tightly as a quiet sob came out. His hand held your head against his chest. There was so much he wanted to say in that moment, but he knew he couldn’t. He wasn’t even sure you would remember this moment in the morning. So he just held you in his arms on the sidewalk for a little longer.

Harrison gave you a piggyback for the rest of the way. The moment your head hit the pillow, you were out for the night. Harrison, on the other hand, took your shoes off for you and laid them by the bed. Everyone in the room was snoring as he sat awake with your words running through his head. 

Let me know if you would like to be tagged in the other parts of this series! (or if you would like to be added to my permanent taglist!)

taglist: @smilexcaptainx @artsycth @rose-marys-love @chonisberonica @5sos-wdw @chloe-geoghegan1 @spiderlingsweb @embrace-themagic

[eldritchsurveys]

1033.

Have you ever felt a baby kick? >> I don’t think so. I mean, maybe? It’s possible? Maybe when Vlad was pregnant? But I don’t remember, so. What color pants/shorts are you wearing? >> Charcoal. When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? >> Well, I played a couple of hours of FFXIV earlier? I also watched another episode of Blackish while eating dinner, and that show is a lot of fun for me. What was the scariest moment of your life? >> Oh, who knows. I was probably not fully aware of my emotions at the time anyway, so does it really count as scary if I can’t fully feel my own fear?

Have you ever heard of Leonard Cohen? >> Certainly.

Pancakes or flapjacks? >> I don’t know anything about flapjacks, but I’m not crazy about pancakes. What kind of computer are you on? >> A Lenovo IdeaPad. Do you eat Chinese food? If so, what’s your favorite dish? >> Sure, preferably of the less Americanised variety. I don’t have a favourite dish, though. What are you usually doing at midnight? >> Sleeping. If I’m not sleeping, I’m doing a crossword or reading. Have you ever developed feelings for a friend, but you were already with someone? >> --- If so, how did it turn out? >> --- Give me your brief definition of love. >> I don’t have a brief definition of love. What is the most beautiful part of the human body, male or female? >> --- What kind of shoes do you wear? >> Either sneakers or Docs-type boots. What is the worst thing you’ve ever done when you were really angry? >> I mean, physically hurt someone, what else. Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? >> Yeah, I take CBD in the morning and I take the good old Period-B-Gon at night. Do you like the smell of coconuts? >> I do, but only in small doses. It gets overwhelming pretty quickly. What is the heaviest you think you can lift? >> I don’t know. Do you take Tums? >> No, I don’t need them. Have you ever walked on a pier at the beach? >> I’ve been on the Piers on the Hudson River, but I don’t think I’ve been on any legitimate beach piers. How about under one? >> No. At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? >> --- Do you feel that way around anyone now? >> ---

Do you ever talk to yourself or think deep thoughts while on the toilet? >> I usually read on the toilet. Do you ever sing to yourself? >> In general, absolutely. Not on the toilet, though. Couldn’t tell if this was a continuation of the last question or not... What is a sound that relaxes you? >> Babbling-brook type sounds. Forest sounds. Can Calah’s voice. Bruni’s voice. How hard has it been to reach your main goal in life? >> Can’t imagine what it’d be like to have one main goal in life. Like... that’s wild. Do you remember the song about hoes in different area codes? >> Yes, lol. Ahh, what a throwback. What is your main heritage? >> Hm. What kind of pickles do you prefer, if you like pickles? >> I like regular sandwich pickles. I also like bread and butter, which makes me a heathen in Sparrow’s eyes even though we unite over our liking of pickles otherwise. What kind of cheese do you prefer, if you like cheese? >> On sandwiches, pepper jack. With crackers, some kind of brie or Kerrygold swiss, but I’ll take pepper jack or cheddar in a pinch (and usually cheddar if there’s also apple slices involved). In salads, feta. And so on. If you could have a sea creature as a pet, what would you want? >> I don’t want a sea creature as a pet. How about a farm animal? >> Or a farm animal. So, do you have hoes in different area codes? >> Back to this again, eh? What is the most annoying song you can think of that came out recently? >> --- What is a song that you hate to admit you like? >> I feel like it’s insulting to myself to hate admitting that I like something. Getting enjoyment out of something is something to be appreciated, for me... What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? >> Inspiration is not what gets me to do things. Executive dysfunction, emotional dysregulation, and random triggers all piss on “inspiration”. I get up and do things when I fucking can. Do you ever use Urban Dictionary? >> I really don’t ever have to. Even slang that’s new to me I can figure out by context clues... Do you find the definitions on there to be generally funny or stupid? >> They’re definitely... special. What comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘transformation’? >> I have no immediate associations with that word.

What was something you regularly played with as a child? >> Paper dolls.

Have you ever given in to peer pressure? >> Sure. If so, what did you do? >> I mean, I don’t have specific examples right now because my memory sucks. But I cannot confidently say that I’ve gotten this far without ever giving into something my peer group wanted me to do. What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? >> My brain.

Do a lot of people check you out when you’re in public? >> I don’t know, I assume not, but even the suggestion that that’s possible makes me want to claw my skin off, so good job. What is a good name for a turtle? >> A name that matched its disposition and what type of turtle it was. Can you imitate any accents well? If so, which one(s)? >> No. Do you like having your ear nibbled on? >> Nooooo. What makes a good kisser a good kisser? >> I think it’s about whether the partner likes whatever it is they’re doing. Some people kiss in ways that would disgust the fuck out of me, but would be immensely pleasing to someone else. I guess the best kind of kisser would be the one who found out (either by asking outright or by trial-and-error/being guided) what kind of kissing their partner liked (and when!) and adapted to that. How many times a year do you have a family thing? >> --- What are the best things to put in a smoothie? >> I have no idea. Do you ever eat with your eyes closed and just focus on the taste? >> Sometimes. What do you dislike most about where you live right now? >> Oh, you want a list? Because I’ll make a list-- well, okay, mostly I just don’t like urban noise. I’ve grown really intolerant and skittish of the noises people make as they exist around me (this includes environmental noise like vehicles, airplanes, lawncare machinery, etc, as well). Has anyone ever given you a rose/roses? >> No. I’ve given roses a couple of times.

Are you watching your weight? >> I’m trying to not hyperfocus on my weight, actually. Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online? >> I guess that’s what happened with Elle. “Really good” throws me off because I don’t know how good of friends we are...? I assume we’re just regular friends! I don’t know! Next! What makes your best friend your best friend? >> --- Do you have a drunk uncle? >> --- Do you hear weird noises in your house at night? >> No. What is something you do that is generally more like something the opposite sex does? >> --- What is the girliest thing you do, if you’re a girl? >> ---

What is the coolest tattoo you’ve ever seen? >> I don’t know, man, I’ve seen a lot of cool tattoos over time. In fact, just the concept of tattoos in general is cool. Have you ever created anything artistic that you’re proud of? If so, what? >> I mean, I’ve written some pretty sweet fanfic. Do you only eat the middle of the oreo, if you eat oreos? >> I don’t eat Oreos.

Do you know anyone with a huge ego? >> Maybe. If so, is there anything else about them you actually like? >> I mean, having a huge ego doesn’t automatically disqualify you from having anything likeable about you from my perspective... Have you ever used a racial slur, even jokingly? >> Yep. Considering a certain obvious racial slur is now a slang term... Do you have any friends who are more like siblings to you? >> ---

If so, what about them do you like most? >> --- What do you like on your hotdogs, if you eat hotdogs? >> On the rare occasion that I do, I like onions and sauerkraut and mustard. What is everyone else in your house doing right now? >> Sparrow is in her room, I assume watching more of the Amnesia Rebirth playthrough on YouTube. What is the most money you’ve ever had at one time? >> $10k. Retroactive payment from Social Security. (Yeah, that’s how long they denied me before I got approved. Long enough that they owed me a total of fourteen grand.) How long do you think it would take you to run a mile? >> I wouldn’t run a mile, so that’s that on that. Look down. What do you see? >> The dark void that is my clothing in this dim lighting. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? >> Can’t think of anything right now. Not that such subjects don’t exist, just that they’re not coming to mind. What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? >> FFXIV. What kind of mood were you in most of today? >> A hyperaroused one. Had a lot of emotions and then had to deal with the backlash to having too many emotions before noon. Has anyone ever walked in on you naked? >> No. Tell me an inside joke you have with someone. >> I can’t ever remember these at random. What is the worst thing someone could do to you emotionally? >> Let’s not. What is the worst thing you’ve ever done to someone emotionally? >> Let’s not. How do you feel now about the first person you ever dated? >> Nothing. He’s been dead for over a decade, any feelings about him exist only in emotional flashbacks. How about the last person (your last ex)? >> A little hurt still but mostly just pissed and disgusted. Most of the hurt I still feel now is grief towards myself and what I lost to someone else’s carelessness and self-obsession. What is the best invention ever invented? >> *shrug*

What is something that needs to be invented? >> *shrug* What always makes you burp? >> Carbonation. Well, not always, I guess? But often. What are you doing tomorrow? >> I’m not sure yet. I’ll know when it gets here.

[thegeminisage]

today’s zeldablogging which is full of spoilers:

the sight of my new sword sends a thrill into my heart tbh

if i ever replay this game, which tbh idk if i will, it's so Big, SS was only a third or a quarter of this size and i've only beaten it twice, im going to get it as soon as possible next time

anyway im back at the tower i suppose i'll crawl down and check out the enemies properly

i dont like gliding to towers i've discovered bc it feels like i've been plopped down into the middle of nowhere with no context

vs if i walk to them i know "where" i came from/am, if that makes any sense

(it doesn't)

i can see that flying thing closer than ever from here and it's DEFINITELY a divine beast no doubts left

yk tho. i dont WANNA check out the enemies. i wanna find that weird blanked out place at the top of my map!

haha i can feel it already

i'm so anxious to get to the end of the game and uncover the plot im gonna be like "FUCK EXPLORING" for the rest of it and only go to the places i need, now that i've got this map

i can always do more thorough exploration after, i've been spoiled that there's postgame content, but even if there's not like any other zelda game it'd put me right back before the final battle

god im having to go ALL THE WAY AROUND the lost woods i can't even glide over the nearby river to make the path shorter i bet there's an easier way to do this from the other side but i havent been there yet

ah, another forest covered in fog. black fog. how inviting.

ohhh, it's a shrine trial. wonderful. in the pitch blackness!

this is already worse than eventide

luckily i have the weird glowy skeleton suit i bought from the boy gerudo clothes store

i forgot to mention it bc i had no IDEA what it was for, but here we are

like. this has to be lmao

i keep dying in my first six steps what am i doing wrong??

oh, maybe bc i'm gliding in, i see a bridge on the map

ohhh god i hear a hinox...why, lord

haha im like.following the ways the statues point and. they're pointing at the hinox! wow!

lol when i realized the stone birds had torches on top i started over so i could light them all

OHHH I WOKE UP THE HINOX I DIDN'T EVEN GET A SURPRISE ATTACK IN

MASTER SWORD HELP ME

oh god this glowy armor has no defense!!

i'll just leave the helm on, then

oh thank fuck i used an atk+ elixir and it waasnt so bad

see, like, i COULD explore that upper ridge but thanks to the map i already know it's full of silver lynels. no thanks.

oh my god the yiga clan is RELENTLESS right here i guess bc i'm going around the back of (shudder) hyrule castle

oh!! a stable, thank goodness, i was starting to get wigged out

i guess all those people on the road had to have meant something

this isn't even on the map!!

oh wait lol yes it is

aww, i don't see beedle here...i was sure he'd be at everyone, i don't think i've encountered one where he isn't yet...

i'll be honest, i've grown kind of bored of combat

and know i'm biased but i genuinely i don't think it's me, i think it's the game's difficulty/"difficulty"

i used to see monster camps and think STRATEGY, is there a beehive, barrels to blow up, a place i can glide down from, this is so fun!

which gradually morphed into "okay this is gonna be a bit of a long haul but there'll be Treasure and sniping from afar is still fun"

idk if the black bokoblins/moblins/etc show up after you've done more things or bc of the area you're in but i'm noticing more enemies with more health, higher defense, and higher attack, and the barrels/metal boxes/beehives/etc becoming rarer, and when they do appear, being almost pointless to use because you're more likely to blow yourself up than do any real damage to the mobs

and like i love this game. it absolutely deserves every bit of its raid reviews, and this feeling COULD just be because i've been marathoning it for 12 straight days and i'm anxious to see the end and get back to my life

but to me, attacking a flat area full of black moblins and bokoblins isn't fun even with the stealth/snipe element bc you can't take them out in 1-3 shots, you have to stop and slash at them, and that alerts EVERYONE else, and it's just pointless

(lol i found some flat ruins by the stable which triggered this rant)

like, even the yiga clan hideout - my instinct was to snipe the enemies as i went, which would have made it a bit more fun imo, even though the stealth bit wasn't bad and i enjoyed that section quite a lot

i just don't like the—idk a better term for it unfortunately—"fake difficulty" thing where you just have to slog your way thru 1000s of random battles, i don't like it in rpgs either

kind of like almost wherever i explored at first i would run into minibosses rarely and then almost constantly

which, yeah, most of them aren't as hard now, But Still, it's the point of the thing

maybe i'm a bit defensive about "real gamer" bullshit and "women can't game" stereotypes while being super bad at games my whole life while my brother was fantastic at them

but like i just don't find that fun?? sure a good challenge once in awhile like eventide isle would be fine (even tho that was hellish and i'll never do it again) but that should be. every once in awhile, not. EVERYWHERE

anyway

frankly @ this point i'm REALY tempted to speed thru it before my surgery

bc i would hate to be laid up in bed and still have to worry about mobile browsing bc botw spoilers and tumblr's interface being awful

anyway i can;'t travel further in this direction without getting over near rito/hyrule field territory

and not only are those towers further away than i'd like but i wanted to do gerudo highlands first so back to the desert i go i guess rip

oh my god the wastelands tower goes down into NOTHINGNESS you're SUPPOSED to apporach from above

also i heard kass!! kass, buddy, where are you ;_;

oh i LOVE these cliffside structures i've been looking forward to them for so long

but i can't find kass ;_;

ALL tower shenanigans must CEASE until he is located!!

wait, he's...i see him! he's at the top of the tower! oh my god!

I'M COMIN, KASS

awww he wants to play the song for the hero who fell 100 years ago! he doesn't know it's me! ;__;

oh gross level two cold here and i didn't bring much cold food...just my warm doublet

wait

i have food AND the jacket and im STILL cold? this is level THREE? wtf wtf wtf

good thing i also have the ruby circlet but jeeeesus

i still have no food so i can't stay long

oh shit i found some guardians

still ones thank god

dude i found a HUGE cool mural for one shrine!!

yeah, this game is definitely still as full of fun secrets and as deslightful as when i first began playing it

and it came at a good time bc i just lost angela and it helped me feel Real Joy again

most displeasure i find with it now is because "AAAH ZELDA AT SOME POINT I NEED TO GET BACK TO MY FUCKING LIFE"

i'm so worried about spoilers and being behind now that some of the fun is draining away

i think after a bit of time has passed i'll either go back and finish exploring properly or straight up start a new file

and do it Thoroughly

when i can relax and go at my own pace instead of feeling like i'm racing the internet, my dashboard, my friends, my brother, etc

this region is soooo cold and i am so certain i'll get better cold gear in the rito area that im just activating the shrines and not even going inside to use my little food as efficiently as possible

im lit not even going inside

oh it's dropped to level 2 cold...thank god

THERE i got them all now to rush to ritoland

wait...i thought i read the 10k fairy wrong but i see ANOTHER on the map!

i bet SHE wants 10k and i have four thousand fucking rupees UGH

i thought there were only 4 and the horse fairy counted.......

ohh my god the divine beast is much closer from where i'm gliding...it's so big

I SEE DINAAL BUT I'M ON A FUCKING GLIDER SLKDFJGH

oh i've been typing it wrong all this time. dinRaal.

ohhh this region is so pretty so far...unlike the highlands which is miserable, i HATE snow in this game, i actually do wanna explore around here, i wish i didn't feel so hurried

oh god that divine beast is just So. it is So Big

god i passed the fairy on my way to the tower...10k! and i haven't been watching my cash bc i thought i misread something

all this time i've had 12 and 13 thousand rupees and i was blowing them on dumb shit

SILVER bokoblins...? come ON

good loot, tho

got the tower!

ohhh man. tat divine beast. oh boy. oh dude. big. so big. jesus fuck

oh hey i see rito village!! just where i wanted to go first

they better have good cold gear here :|

OH FUCK THERE'S THE BEAST SCREECHING

oh my god it's SO BIG im SO SCARED jesus FUCK

i wonder if kass will be here

IT'S RITO ISLAND MUSIC

IM GOING TO CRY

IT REALLY IS!!!! IT REALLY IS RITO ISLAND MUSIC

oh god it's BEAUTIFUL

aw omg the goddess statue here has a flower crown!

all right, fifteen heart containers...the rest will be stamina 5ever

no wait fuck i should have gotten stamina this time!! i'll get a heart from the beast

well i know you can trade them, somewhere out here i think

this beautiful too tbh this is all nice and orchestrated Damn

geez the armor will set me back even more money! not TOO much but when you're saving up for 10k...

well, against my brother's advice, i'm selling monster parts...i know i'll regret it later if i need them to upgrade armor, but i'm trying to stick to the common ones i have like 100+ of, so

aaand 10! woohoo

awww all the little baby rito in the hammocks :')

OMG the biggest rito looks like an owl! kaepora reference

oooh here comes a memory

AHAHAHA

revali and link were rivals. ok. im down with that for sure

and his specisal ability! an updraft!! PERFECT tbh

aww teba's husband doesn't want her son to be a warrior

tho i like the idea that ritos are hotheads hahahaha

zoras and gorons are both kinda collected we needed some assholes

HA i look forward to when revali gives me his special ability

i'm crying teba is such an asshole i LOVE him

wow i guess it's time to fight the beast already...? that was so FAST

omg i get to ride him!!!! yessss

oh my gosh we're up so HIGH oh man oh man the world is so tiny but i know it's really so huge oh god the divine beast is so BIG

lol i probs should have upgraded this rito armor.......

oh well too late now lmao

ohhh i love it when they talk to me

TEBA?

HE'S HURT OMG ):

nintendo would never kill him but omg im so worried about him

AAAAAH THERE'S REVALI

ohhh he's a DICK i LOVE HIM

ooh the master sword DOES glow when it's near the malice blight stuff

lowkey tempted to go back and upgrade this armor lol but i don't wanna leave and who even knows if i have the mats...

i'll just brave it thru like this and it'll be something to brag about later since apparently i suck at everything else

like doing eventide with five hearts on the blood moon

LMAO REVALI IS SO SMUG "you'll need to activate all the terminals, think you're up to it?" he's a DICK and i LOVE HIM i LOVE THE RITO

the music in this one is SO COOL?

i feel more like i'm fighting for my life/against something larger here, rather than just trying to creep through gently without disturbing anything and solve a puzzle for the others

and it's 100% bc of the music jesus christ

i LOVE how much gliding is involved this is EASILY my favorite divine beast so far

lol revali's tone of surprise in "there are two terminals remaining" i love him so much

"just one terminal remaining hmph what do you know" pls

all five down now the true test is can i beat the boss LMAO

the last 3 weren't nearly as bad as i expected, tho the lightning one's teleporting thing was almost too fast for me with my one-handed weapons

so maybe hopefully with good food this will be OK too

ok, i got level 2 cold food so i can get by with just wearing the pants :U not as much defense as i'd like but better than nothin

"it only defeated me bc i was winging this"

"can't believe i'm saying this but avenge me link!!"

ohhh there's accordian in this version of the fight song 

KASS ;_;

i wonder if kass's teacher WAS revali, or knew him

LMAO revali trash talks me when i get hit

KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME i didnt even watch that movie and im laughing at the meme

lmao "broke" the master sword with the last bow

eeeewww

DAAAAAMN

wouldn't even look at link as he left "your job is far from finished you know zelda has been waiting an awfully long time"

haha "i'll be plucked" as well thanks nintendo

"we've been ARTFULLY patient these last 100 years you won't suffer a feather over a few more moments"

geez i love him so much

that was definitely the best divine beast

tho the zora one is a close second

i gotta go make sure teba is ok

IM CRYING ZELDA JUST TOLD ME TO GO TO HYRULE CASTLE

soon i promise ok

time to go see the great fairy :U man i really thought my armor had been improved all it could be...

and 10k down the drain...

omg she's pink :3

im ALSO warping back to akkala to see if i can get any guardian armor yet i've collected a fair amt of parts!

LMAO I FINALLY HAVE THE MATS AND I DON'T HAVE THE CASH rip

ohhhh i see a new storm over hyrule field...DNW

lol maybe i SHOULD have explored it before now...too late now

holy shit i almost ran straight into a flying guardian going after this soul piece

ok, i need a plan...if i wanna beat the game before friday i gotta be Smart

i still need to finish exploring all the provinces, at least at the sursory level i gave to the highlands, but hopefully maybe a little better

i need to go back and do shrines and sidequests

and obviously i need to actually finish

counting today i have three days left so i guress i'll assign one task to each day, the last task obviously being on thursday

less than two hours left for playtime today, but i guess today i should explore, tomorrow i should shrine/sidequest, and i can do a LITTLE of that thursday if needed, and thursday i'll storm hyrule castle. ok

slkfjgh

SDLFGJHDLFKJG god. ok

aaaah the ruins music makes me so sad ):

pffft cute i got a memory where zelda was like STOP FOLLOWING ME I DONT NEED A BODYGUARD at link how adorable

i wanted to get all the memories before i beat the game but they're like ALL in/around hyrule field/castle and i'm afraid if i go there now that i've gotten all the beasts freed i'll trigger endgame events that i can't stop

so i guess i fucked myself over

i think i'll go ahead and get all the towers tho

so i can move around freely

i have time for like one MAYBE two before stream starts

aw this tower in the cold place is so cute and short

looked it up & apparently the heart/stamina swap is in hateno so im gonna go find it!

oh i came at night but that monster store guy is here!!

omg DUDE he sells DARK LINK gear?!?!

and apparently your movement speed goes up at night

the mask and bridles are pretty cool but i HAVE to have this

lmao and i just sold all my parts for that 10k...!

man he doesn't give you a lot tho...like, it has its own currency...i could never sell enough to get even one :/

ok, i can buy the tunic or the legs...but not the face. hmm

i guess the legs alone would look pretty dumb, but i have black pants and a hood that can kinda go with the tunic, so

this is kinda outta nowhere but i wish there was a recipe book for everything we've unlocked or read about, i just can't keep it all in my head

LOL omg that was freaky

okay but now i gotta quit

i didn't get all that i wanted to done, but maybe more later tonight but def tomorrow!!

playing a bit more bc bad choices

oh hmm it looks like i was mistaken and that storm isn't over the castle afterall! thank goodness

oh my god there's SO many shrines in the hebra peak range?? why???

LMFAO im thawing blocks of ice to get to this shrine and one has a moblin in it

me: stops thawing

OH MY GOD

THIS RANGE HAS AURORAS

IM GONNA CRY JFC

and i missed snapping a picture because of enemies!!! im so mad

too bad SO sad i am going back to those fires that started and waiting for night again i WILL get a picture

ugh and now it's snowing

i guess i could unlock this nearby shrine in the meantime

ooh, is that a cabin

;___; old man

end of the game and i still miss you

O: shield surfing

oh man i didnt actually wanna DO it now but

i actually dont know how to do the thing lol

lord, i had to google it. no one said a thing about pressing A

that was fun!! also i was worried i'd get lost so maybe i'll just. not do this for now

THERE! YES! AURORAS!

ooh god there's a silver lynel down there

i know i've been bitching over and over about fights but i lowkey wanna fight it to see if i can

i won't though bc my cold armor isn't very upgraded and my defense would be shot probably even with def+ food

as an aside im glad rivali's ability recharges so quickly i was afraid they'dmake me wait ages like the others

ohhh my god there's SO MANY silver lynel around here WHY

they have such a long detection range and such a scary roar )))):

thank god for rivali's gale i can fly right over him...otherwise i'd have to Run

there's another maze shrine here and im highkey like Ugh

idk if i'll quit when i get to the entrance or after i solve the maze...

i guess i'll give it a quick try and if it's horrible i'll stop until later

naturally i'm wondering if i can solve it on my map first and/or get to the top

if i could before with as little stamina as i had then: sure i'd be able to

probably there are guardians and the answer isnt THAT easy but

the entire maze seems to be one path which is absolutely useless to me like it doesn't look like a maze you solve on paper so i obviously have to find a door or go above or below all that somehow

uh

there are no guardians up here at ALL

in fact i think i even see a hole down to the shrine...

ok, what's the catch, what gives

ah no the hole only goes down a couple of feet and has a chest with a diamond in it

the devs saying "nice try but no" lol

i did find the entrance pretty quick from the top tho! and now i can warp back anytime

or no wait this WAS the challenge i can just go get my orb and ches

DUDE THE ATK+ LEGS......DUDE

ok i gotta figure out the shrine the chest is in and get it i NEED it this armor plus a def+ elixir? i'd be unstoppable, no more dodging fights for me!

well, less dodging fights

ok, so i looked it up and the chest is in a gerudo maze which i didn't even know existed bc i either missed it on the interactive map or it wasn't ther

but it looks Difficult so im gonna save it for tmrw

[topicprinter]

As mentioned in previous posts, I’m an eCommerce consultant / digital strategist. I work with a lot of early stage companies to help them figure out strategies to help achieve exponential growth for their businesses. This is another blog post in progress but figured I’d share here first, so tuck in for a fairly long one.My advice below includes several assumptions. The first is that you’re a startup. The second is that you haven’t been through a major funding round, and are either bootstrapping or don’t have bottomless pools of disposable marketing dollars.Over the past couple of years almost every client I’ve worked with has the same innovative plan to become the next billion dollar eCommerce startup using influencer Marketing.They’ve done their research. Read the case studies about all the brands that made it big through influencer campaigns. They’ve crunched some numbers and are confident it’s the right approach for them.“InstaBro has 1 million Instagram followers and they’re all in my target demographic. Even if I pay him $10,000 and just 10% of his audience buys from me, that’s 100,000 sales. I’m making out like a bandit. I can find tons of people like that. Its win win.”Or“I’m smarter than those guys, I’m just going to go for the small fish influencers. They don’t cost much other than free product, What do I have to lose?”.Unfortunately, its not so easy anymore. Influencer marketing is no longer the guaranteed golden-goose secret weapon wielded by only the savviest millennial entrepreneurs. The secret is out, and the magic of the foolproof low-cost, mass-market revenue source is gone.The term “Influencer” is very broad. Technically its anybody who has the power to influence the actions of others. It could be an actor, a model, an industry expert…even the popular kid at school is an influencer.The Influencer I’m referring to is specifically anybody leveraging some level of “internet fame” to encourage followers to engage with a product or brand via online media channels. These people may have legitimate success within their areas of focus. Often they’re influencers simply because they’ve somehow managed to convince enough people that they’re influential. Welcome to 2018.Influencer marketing as an advertising channel has exploded over the last 3-5 years or so. Companies of all sizes shell out thousands of dollars for sponsored posts, Youtube videos, photos, podcasts…anything to get their name in front of that coveted Gen Z / Millennial demo. And every other teenager dreams of making it big, living easy blowing vape clouds and unboxing lip kits on Youtube or Instagram.In response, an entire sub sector within the digital marketing industry has grown to support this wave. “Influencer marketing agencies” and consultants are popping up left and right. They sign kids & mommy bloggers up by the dozen, convincing them they can make thousands per post if they hustle hard enough. At the same time, influence marketers woo unwitting companies to shell out thousands with the promise of big returns by flaunting big follower counts.The unfortunate reality is that my clients who come to me after already experimenting with influencer campaigns often have 0 idea about the actual the effectiveness of these campaigns. It doesn’t take a lot of complicated analysis before I have to break the bad news that the campaign was a failure. Sometimes the loss is nothing more than some free product and a few hours of the founders’ time, other cases its in the tune of many thousands of dollars.After analyzing countless influencer campaigns, the fact I’ve found is that traditional influencer marketing model is rarely is worth the time & money for your average startup.Estimating the effectiveness of an influencer campaign to a bootstrapping startup comes down to fairly simple math. The inputs are a mix of known numbers and educated guesses. How much will it cost? How many impressions will be generated? What percentage of those impressions are going to actively seek out your website or product? Of those visitors, how many of them will actually buy from you at some point in the future?Unfortunately the average entrepreneur might not be that savvy with marketing math, while many people along the road have motivations to inflate numbers. The influencer will try to impress you with big follower & subscriber counts. And your marketing guy will convince you they’re doing a good job with inflated result figures. The hungry entrepreneur may be quick to forget that 1 million followers does not equal 1 million impressions…and 1 million views definitely does not equal 1 million conversions.Maybe a single one of InstaBro’s posts is only seen by 10% of his 1 million followers. That’s just 100,000 impressions. Of those 100k impressions, if you’re lucky 5% of those will actually make it to your website. Now you’re at just 5,000 visits for your campaign (at $10k for the post, that’s almost $2 per click….a high amount to pay if this were a CPC campaign.) Influencer sourced visits are typically low converting. Generously maybe you’ll see a 1% conversion rate…or 50 purchases.So that’s the question, is 50 purchases worth $10,000 for you? Are non converting impressions worth anything to you at this stage?In reality, the actual percentages end up far lower than my example, with visit & conversion rates well under 1%. And more often than not, these campaigns don’t generate enough revenue to justify the time or expense.So why are Influencer marketing campaigns increasingly failing? Heres some of the big reasons:Reason #1: Theres a massive price bubble.In the beginning influencers didn’t know how much they’re worth. At the same times, companies new to the channel had no idea what to pay them. This was the time when you heard the magical tales of companies spending $5k on their entire influencer channels, going viral and raking in millions in revenue. But as Influencers caught on, naturally their worth became tied to their follower counts, and an arms race ensued for the best engagers. As those big guys become priced out of reach, companies flocked to the next tier down in search of a “bargain”…and so on. Well funded companies who didn’t want to miss out on the gold rush, and who don’t care about short term return….paid whatever these kids asked.All of this has lead to a steadily increasing price demanded by influencers at every quality tier. Since their cost per post are linked to their follower counts and not conversion rates, there is little correlation between the high prices demanded and the actual potential value of results for you.Put simply, the best influencers are often more expensive than they’re worth.Reason #2: There are a lot of terrible influencers out there, and identifying them isn’t always easy.Objectively gauging the true quality of an influencer pre-campaign has become extremely difficult.Once upon a time, followers or subscriber counts was in fact a good gauge of popularity…and thus, what a post or campaign by an influencer might be worth. Of course, it didn’t take long for people to start buying followers or using bots to boost numbers.Then marketers got smart and started looking at “engagement” instead as a metric of worth. But wannabe influencers gamed system again with “like for like” or “comment for comment” schemes, sometimes backed by sophisticated engagement-pumping botnets.But even if the person has tons of legitimate views, likes, & followers, its still almost impossible to answer “how receptive are this influencer’s followers to actually being influenced”? If they have a bunch of followers who like their posts but don’t really care about purchasing what they’re peddling, they don’t have real influence at all.Reason #3: Over saturation and no staying power.Many of these serial “influencers” are pushing products all day every day. If you’re hiring “the widget guy”, he might be promoting a new widget every day. This pretty much kills the whole “it works because his followers think you’re special” potential, and seriously limits potential efficacy. . There is such a thing as consumer marketing fatigue.At the same time, using mediums like Instagram, your post will become buried within 48 hours, and is undiscoverable via search engines. So if you don’t generate results in that time period, you post you spent $5k on is essentially dead in the water.Not too long ago I advised clients to use the strategy of “the big guys are overpriced…find the smaller ‘diamond in the rough’ influencers…don’t pay them much, or just give them free product. That’s how you’ll beat the system.” But over time I learned the time it takes to manage such campaigns is rarely worth the actual result. I’ve seen plenty of cases where an influencer with 50k-100k followers only manages to generate one or two sales from a post at the cost of $500-$100+.Of course, Influencer Campaigns can work…as proven by plenty of high profile examples. However, effective execution typically relies on serious money, and returns may not be immediate. Some effective strategies that probably pay off in the long run1. Major Celebrity endorsement.As mentioned one of the difficulties of successful influencer marketing is quantifying their true power of influence. 1 follower of the random guy with 1000 followers may not be equal to 1 follower of the next guy with 1000 followers. The power of influence on an individual is based on many highly subjective factors.Celebrity endorsements are a way around this problem. Well known celebs tend to have massive fanbases who don’t hesitate to buy whatever they’re selling…wearing…promoting. These campaigns can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not millions of dollars…but they’ve been proven effective pretty much since the dawn of modern advertising. Just look at what Kylie Jenner has done making a billion dollars essentially selling fancy lip gloss.2. Carpet bombing.This is my own term for the strategy which entails hiring every influencer you can possibly land, of all tiers & regardless of cost. The aim is to get your brand in front of as many potential customer eyes as possible. It’s a proven fact that people are more likely to buy a product they encounter over and over again. If somebody sees one influencer post about your brand, they’ll probably ignore it. If they start seeing their entire feeds fill up with posts about your brand…they’re going to take notice.However, this is a brand awareness strategy more than a conversion driver. Which means investing a lot of time & money now, for a return you might not make back for a long time. This puts it out of reach for many bootstrapping startups3. Review PostsPaying for legitimate reviews of your product is a great use of influencer marketing dollars. Online shoppers not only look for reviews before purchasing a product…many wont’ buy a product without them. Review posts are great because often they cost little more than some free product, and they’re search engine discoverable for a long time. But not just any review is a good one. They should be of high quality, posted on Youtube or a permanent blog, and SEO optimized. Reviews provide long lasting value through last-touch SEO impactOther than those instances and maybe a handful of others, Influencer Campaigns are rarely worth running for most businesses. And when you crunch the math, your bootstrapped marketing dollar is probably better spent on other digital channels.But I understand at this point some of you still reading probably think I’m full of crap, I must not have been doing it right, your friend Mike did it and it worked…if everyone is doing it, there must be something to it…you’re smart enough to make Influencer Marketing work for you.So when you ignore my advice t are some good rules to follow if you’re going to experiment with this channel.Influencer content should ideally be both permanent and high quality. A single Instagram post that’s buried in 2 days and not searchable on Google is worth a lot less than a video product review on Youtube that will stay at the top of the SERP indefinitely.Do the right math, and focus on the right numbers to analyze real value of an influencer before engaging them. Strong analytics is the cornerstone to any successful digital marketing push.Influencers try to throw the biggest numbers they can squeeze out. Often it becomes evident the numbers that matter don’t stack up. They may try to woo you with their 1 million followers…100,000 person email list….90% return rate of past clients. But whats their real engagement? How often do they post? Whats their real conversion rate? Do they even know these things? Even if all you give them is free stuff…your time is money. If you can’t do this yourself, it may be worth it to hire someone to do it for you.2b. Make sure you do the right math after the campaign to determine if it was actually effective at all. This sounds obvious, but too many marketers are looking at all the wrong benchmarks, and make bad decisions as a result.Influencer marketing works for some industries better than others. Take into consideration how your customers are actually buying. A fashion brand is much more likely to have success with this channel than say, selling some SAAS business.Of course its also imperative to learn how to spot the fakers. Influencers on every media channels use sophisticated techniques intended to make themselves look more popular than they really are. These techniques are constantly changing. You need to be smarter than they are.Be prepared to dedicate the manpower. An effective influencer strategy is time consuming. Recruiting new influencers, monitoring performance, keeping your brand ambassadors active is an ongoing effort. Often too much effort for a founding business operator to handle on their own during a time when they have bigger fish to fry. If you don’t have a marketing director on board…get an intern, or table this idea for later.Friends & family are still king. The best “influencer” for anyone isn’t some internet celebrity, but rather word of mouth from people they know. Referral campaigns are still one of the best ways to effectively generate sales without marginal spend. In summation, can Influencer Marketing work for you? Sure it could. But the real question you should be asking is if Influencer Marketing is the best way to put your precious dollars to work over other digital marketing channels.Anyway, I could go on all day about Influencer Marketing, and this post was certainly not exhaustive, but hopefully will give you some things to think about before adding it into your marketing mix. If you still have doubts, go ahead and experiment. Just be smart. At the end of the day, regardless of what I say…if its working for you, keep doing what you’re doing.