#anyway this shit slaps lookit him

[jacksonscouts]

It's good to be back, Scouts! Find a spot on a log and check out this fluffy fic from our wonderful Scout, @sixhours! It's from her series called "Happy Birthday, Baby Girl."

They take a right from the tower and hike deeper into the forest toward the sound of running water. The stream sparkles in the last of the evening sun as they settle on the embankment with their fishing rods.

Joel shows her how to dig into the soft parts of the soil for worms to use as bait (gross, but cool), how to wind them around the hook and stab them to secure them (just gross), and how to cast the line so it doesn’t get tangled in the brush on the side of the bank (nearly impossible).

After a few minutes, Ellie shifts from one foot to the other. “Now what?”

“We wait. If you feel a bite on the line, start to reel it in.”

They do. She holds the pole and she waits. And waits. And–

She slaps at a mosquito on her neck, then another one on her arm. Her nose itches and her hair tickles her ears. She recasts the line when it bobs and drifts too far, reeling it back in, watching as Joel does the same.

“So how long does this usually take?” she says when she’s cast for the fifth time and felt absolutely nothing. She watches the bobber drift along with the current. The sun has dropped behind the trees, taking most of the heat out of the air.

“Long as it takes.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Gonna take even longer if you keep yappin’ and scarin’ the fish away.”

She rolls her eyes, mimicking him. “‘Yappin’ n’ scarin’ the fish away.’”

He side-eyes her, but his cheek twitches the way it does when he’s trying not to laugh at one of her puns.

“Did you used to fish a lot?”

“When I was a kid, mostly. Old man took us out once in a while.”

“So…early Jurassic period?”

“Yep,” he says easily. “Rode my dinosaur to the lake n’ back.”

“Har har,” she says, swatting at a mosquito that’s buzzing around her left ear. “I just thought there’d be, more, y’know…fish.”

“I liked it about as much as you do, at the time. Never caught much,” he grimaces, reeling in his line and casting it again. “Think the old man just liked gettin’ away from our mama so he could get shitfaced in peace.”

She arches an eyebrow. “Wholesome.”

“Not the word I’d use. Anyway, spent more time pushin’ Tommy in the lake than I did catchin’ fish.”

Now that sounds like fun. “Can I push you in if we don’t catch anything?”

“You can try,” he smirks.

More time passes. Ellie shifts on her feet and swats at more mosquitos, trying and failing to imagine Joel as a kid.

“Man…I wanna ride a dinosaur,” she sighs.

“Jesus Christ,” Joel mutters, but he’s smiling.

Then there’s a distinct tug on her line, so forceful and surprising she almost lets the whole contraption go.

“Joel!”

“What?”

“It’s…it’s going! What the fuck do I do?”

“Well don’t panic,” he says, setting his pole down carefully, wedging it between two large rocks. “Hold on, kid, I gotcha.”

“It’s probably a fucking boot or something,” Ellie says, holding the pole back with both hands to keep it steady, unable to reel in whatever is on the other end for fear of losing her grip.

“Dunno about that. It’s movin’. Here,” he says, offering a hand over hers to support the pole while she switches to turning the reel, the tension growing with each turn.

“Good job, not too fast or the line’ll snap,” Joel says. “Sometimes ya just gotta let ‘em run with it a little, wear ‘em out.”

Soon she can see the silvery green-red fish thrashing at the surface of the water.

“Holy shit!”

“Lookit that,” he grins, helping her lift the fish out of the water by the line as it writhes and flails. “Guess you get to eat tonight.”

She can’t help but be a little disappointed when she gets a good look at the result of her efforts. She’d been picturing a monster fish given how strong it had been, but the thing isn’t even a foot long.

“I thought it was gonna be a fuckin’ shark.”

“Sometimes the little ones fight the hardest,” he says softly, and she’s glad the fading light hides her blush. She’s pretty sure he’s not just talking about the stupid fish.

He puts the poor creature out of its misery by smashing its head with a rock, then promises to show her how to gut and filet the slimy, scaly thing once they’re back at camp. She silently vows to try a bite even if the thought turns her stomach.

“You gonna try again?” he asks.

She does, digging up a fresh worm and re-baiting her hook while Joel goes back to his line. By the end of the hour, they’ve caught two more trout and Ellie’s stomach is growling.

“Better than fishing with your old man?” she asks on the trek back to camp.

He huffs a soft laugh. ”Yeah, kiddo. Much better.”

[houndfaker]

My impression of Reload as someone who's not played a huge chunk of P3P and I was maybe 13 at most when I played the bit I did play: Koromaru!!! Lookit he!!! I really hope he doesn't have walk cycle like Morgana's or I'm gonna start killing!!! I hope that blue haired guy from the meme says it's time to stop playing and throws a fire bomb at the fireproof dog again!!!

On another note: they seem to have sterilised it just a bit? And I'm 90% sure the claw machine thing has the same models and animations as P5s but with a new skin. Like sure! I'm all for cutting some corners! But like... Did it have to be so blatant...?

Anyway, Koromaru looks as cute as ever and I believe from the trailer, his barks and shit are just some guy having fun in a sound booth. I love that for him. Just makes him a funnier lil guy of all time.

unironically koromaru did give me heart palpitations his model is very handsome and hes animated exceptionally well. his tail wig enamors me a little.

cutting corners is something i also picked up on. ultimately nothing of value is lost but its always a little funny to go 'hey ive seen that before' or 'you guys couldnt just slap a model of a pill bottle in their hands for this scene?'.

also I BELIEVE it was confirmed that his va, shinya takahashi, is the same person that did his voicework in the p3 movies! he was actually uncredited for that role until his announcement that he'd be reprising it for reload which is really funny to me

[sebastard69]

learning some new gpose techniques, it's all over for y'all once i get this shit down

[themonkeycabal]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier ep 2

Spoilers!

Last week Bucky was a terrible patient and his new BFF is the father of a guy he killed while he was the Winter Soldier (so super healthy), Sam gave up Cap's shield and returned home to try to help salvage the family business (that went poorly), and some — I guess he must be from the Defense Department — dick made a big speech about needing heroes and he gave the shield to some goober (John Walker, but he'll always be Goober to me) in a Cap suit who strongly reminded me of Langly from the Lone Gunmen. (I'm not familiar with the actor, so I don't know what he actually looks like, but the helmet and the camera angle did him no favors at all, I'm just saying. Super punchable.)

Oh, and Sam has an adorable little minion named Lt. Torres who is getting himself into trouble with some weirdass terrorist group who like to slap red handprints on everything.

Zemo's out there lurking, too, but we haven't seen him yet.

I'm still slightly dazed that this show is real and we get to watch it.

Ep2: The Star-Spangled Man

Weird slow-mo opening shot of a close up of somebody unzipping their jacket. I mean. Okay. (Ohhh, it's the garment bag the Cap suit is in.)

And then we're on to Goober, he's wearing BDUs and he's in a football locker room (maybe high school?), fondling the lockers. He peels a name sticker off one, and underneath it says JW 10. A woman comes in and asks if he's reliving his glory days. They yada yada I don't care.

Now I guess they're talking about him becoming Captain America. "Everybody in the world expects me to be … something. And I don't want to fail them." She tells him to be himself and that they're gonna love him. Well, I've already decided he's a goober. I mean, he might not be, but he's got a hill to climb with me.

He spends a few seconds trying out his Captain America voice, then his buddy Hoskins comes in to talk him through it and give us some exposition. "Two weeks ago we were prepping for a special ops mission to Chile and now this."

Goober whines about how it's been handshakes and meetings and senators and whatnot and he just wants to get to it. But his buddy is all, that's part of the job man. Gotta glad-hand, too. You big baby (he doesn't say that part).

"You can't just punch your way out of problems anymore." Well, I mean, I think that was Steve's MO, mostly. That and 'hit it with the shield until it stops moving'.

Nu Cap is making a big showy thing at a rally at his old high school (Custer's Grove HS, GA) stadium for Good Morning America. He's still looking punchable in that helmet. But, they do bring out a kicking marching band, so there's that. It's a boring GMA interview. I don't care.

"John Walker, first person in American history to receive three Medals of Honor. Ran RS-One missions in counter-terrorism and hostage rescue. The government did a study of your body at MIT and you tested off the charts in every measurable category — speed, endurance, intelligence." (I legit laughed out loud. Lookit Captain Gary Stu over here)

Blah blah super humble yada yada. Just wants to make people feel safe, he has sooooo much respect for Steve Rogers, yada. Look, he could be a great guy and maybe I'll warm to him. But not yet!

Back in Brooklyn, Bucky's watching this and his face is all "No! No? What the shit is this? NO! NO? WHU NO?! No." Also, Bucky, I know you have a couch, why are you sitting on the floor? Love yourself just a little bit, dude.

In Louisiana Sam is in an Air Force hanger, staring at a garish 'Cap is Back' poster and looking a little queasy. Rhodey told you, subtly and not really directly, to not give up the shield, buddy. I hope when Bucky gets there the first thing he says is "He gave the shield to *you*, dummy. Not Captain Gary Poppins over there."

Torres says Nu Cap seems like a good guy. Sam's like, uh-huh, sure, so anyway. There's another "cap is back" poster and Sam's like 'ugh'. And they're off to Munich. I guess for the Flag Bros. Hey! There's Bucky! Finally, they're in the same scene. It's been nearly sixty minutes of screen time to get to this moment, Marvel. No, I wasn't counting.

"Shouldn't have given up the shield." lol. Hi Bucky! You forgot to call him a dummy.

Sam's like I haven't got time for this. And Bucky points to the umpteenth Cap is Back poster (seriously? Good lord.) "You didn't know that was going to happen?"

  Sam did not know that was going to happen. "You think it didn't break my heart to see them march him out there and call him the new Captain America?"

Bucky will not let this go. "You had no right to give up the shield, Sam." You tell him!

But, Sam's kind of not in the mood. Look, I get it Sam, you didn't feel equal to the shield, but Steve gave it to you because he knows, my dude. Trust him. Come on.

But, he's feeling very raw about this, right now. "This is what you're not gonna do. You're not gonna come here in your overextended life and tell me about my rights." Well, ouch. 

He says he's got bigger things to worry about, but that seems unpossible to Bucky "What could be bigger than this?" Terrorist douchebags wearing funny masks in Eastern and Central Europe. Well, fine, Sam; be all puts-things-in-perspective guy.

Redwing traced the far-too-strong maybe leader to a place in Munich. For some reason Bucky does not have good feelings about Redwing. Uh-oh, Bucky, you're going to extra hurt Sam's feelings.

Oh lol, it's the "Big Three" convo. "What big three?" "Androids, aliens, and wizards." Still funny. Sam's so proud of himself.

"I'm coming with you." "No, you're not." Bucky went with him.

Did they glare at each other the whole way to Munich? lol. I love this show so much already.

"Enjoy the ride, Buck." "No, you can't call me that." "Why not? That's what Steve called you." "Steve knew me longer. And Steve had a plan." lol, Steve Rogers never had a plan a day in his life.

Bucky wants a chute, but Torres who wisely stayed out of all of that, is like we're way too low for a chute. "I don't need it anyway." Then Bucky drama school bitch rips off the left sleeve of his jacket and jumps out while yelling like the dumbass he is. And he hits every branch of the dumbass tree on his way to the ground.

"I have all of that on camera, you know that right?" And Redwing zooms by to hovers over Bucky. So, maybe it's not a mystery why he doesn't like Redwing. lol.

Bucky and Sam meet up at a dilapidated warehouse in the middle of the forest. Only good things ever happen in dilapidated warehouses in forests. Like extra shady weapons smuggling. Bucky's gonna stalk after them. Sam messes with him a bit.

"Look at you all stealthy. A little time in Wakanda and you come out White Panther." lol. ilu Sam. "It's actually White Wolf." "Huh?" heh. What he won’t tell you, Sam, is that he earned the name from the kids near his goat farm who liked to spy on and giggle at the grumpy growly white guy. 

"Hello. How are you?" "Great. What did I miss?" They're a delightful disaster! And they bicker and bicker and ahh, finally.

Also the people they're stalking are hella strong. And then these two idiots knock into an old bit of metal and make some noise. The shady people stop for a mo' but then move on. Sam scans one of the trucks the shady folks were loading (there are two), there's a figure sitting in the back. "There's an eighth person. I think they have a hostage." And Bucky zooms off! And Sam after him.

Bucky jumps onto the lead truck and then just like wanders around inside. I'm pretty sure the truck behind you noticed you, dummy. Anyway, it's loaded with crates marked "keep frozen." "They're stealing medicine. Vaccines." Those utter bastards. He spots a girl peeking out between containers. "Hi." lol, idiot.

He thinks it's the hostage, but I'm waiting for her to kick his butt out the door. She's not, you know, tied up in anyway. So … Also, again, does the second truck not have a radio to the first truck? Like was the driver texting while Bucky climbed up the back of the truck right in front of him? Now he's strangely incurious about the open door?

And, then she smiles at him and kicks him out the door, he hits the windshield of the second truck (maybe they've finally noticed you, Bucky!) and she puts on a mask with a red handprint. As you do. Two guys on the roof of truck 2, pull Bucky up ready to beat him silly.

Super strong girl, jumps over to truck two and punches Bucky some more. The Redwing zooms over and she jumps up, grabs it, and smashes it over her knee.

"I always wanted to do that," Bucky says, sad he didn't get the chance.

Sam shows up, there are more guys on the roof of the other truck. And there's fighting and fighting and then Sam is pinned down and the bad guy gets plonked with the shield and here comes Captain Poppins dropping down out of a helicopter. What timing. The CGI and green screen for this whole sequence are pretty dire. I'm sorry but it's true.

Captain Poppins is joined by his buddy Hoskins. "Sam. John Walker, Captain America." They know who you are, goober. Though, pausing to introduce yourself in the middle of the fight is a very Steve Rogers move, so points for that, Goober.

Lol, the look on Bucky's face when he catches the shield and Goober takes it from him. He's like 'rule two, rule two, rule two, remember rule two.'

Lots of fighting lots of fighting. Bucky is knocked off the side of the truck, he digs in and sort of zippers down the side, and then hangs off the bottom, his head inches from a tire, clinging to the underside by his vibranium arm. A bad guy stomps on it. Um, it's vibranium, guy. Like … though, somehow it works? and Bucky's arm sort of flops onto the road, sending up sparks. Sam does a neat little move, flies under the two trucks, grabbing Bucky as he goes, and knocking them both free.  None of that worked out particularly well, guys.

"Could have used that shield," Bucky says helpfully. lol. "Those were all super soldiers, Sam." Well, bummer.

Back on the trucks, I think Hoskins is in trouble. Cap Goober is pulling himself back up. Hoskins is thrown from the truck, but Cap Goober tosses the shield and Hoskins lands on that. Now Goober squares off against super soldier chick. He does not fare well. And he's thrown from the truck to land on the windshield of a following car. You know, if I'm driving down the road and I see people fighting on a pair of big rigs, I don't follow close. You know what I'm saying? I maybe pull over and let them get way far away from me. Anyway, sorry for your body damage.

Bucky and Sam walk along the road, a pair of sad sad heroes who did not have a plan.

"I'm sorry about Redwing." "No, you're not."

Cap Goober turns up in a sorry looking vehicle of some sort. "So that didn't go as planned." Bucky and Sam keep walking. lol

So Goober's vehicle keeps pace with the disaster duo. "We're pretty sure it's one of the Big Three."

Bucky: "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS WIZARDS!" That's his hill, he'll die on it.

Since it's super soldiers, and that's bad news, Cap Goober thinks they should work together. Sam's quiet but not thrilled. Bucky is not quiet. "Just 'cause you carry that shield, it doesn't mean you're Captain America."

Cap Goober has apparently jumped on a grenade 4 times. "It's a thing I do with my helmet. It's reinforced." Okay, I laughed.

He persuades them to ride with him, because it's like 20 miles to the airport. It's probably for the best, since I'm pretty sure they might try to strangle each other in five.

"They (Flag Haters Anonymous) say their mission is to get things back to the way they were during the blip." This group's goals are so hazy and weird.

oh, lol. Sam wanted to know how they tracked the Flag Smashers, and Hoskins is like, um, actually, we tracked redwing. "It's not exactly hacking," Captain Goober explains, "it's government property. We're kind of the government." Not winning any points, Goober.

Bucky's just glaring at him.  "Does he always just stare like that?" lol

We get a bit of exposition about a group called the GRC, the Global Repatriation Council, which is tasked with helping the previously blipped reintegrate. Sam's like, okay, and? Hoskins explains "they provide the resources, and we keep things stable." The GRC sounds even more make believe than super soldiers, to be honest. But, whatever. Not here to analyze the bizarre and unlikely geopolitics of the MCU. Cap Goober makes a pitch for Sam and Bucky to sign up but Bucky is very firm about his "No".

Hoskins insists he has mad respect for them, but they were getting their asses kicked until he and goober showed up. Um, Hoskins, my dude, you also got your ass kicked.

Bucky stares for a second. "Who are you?" "Lamar Hoskins." Sam insists he needs more than that. "I'm Battlestar. John's partner."

Bucky says Mm hmm. Stop the car. And he's gone.

Cap Goober gives a pitch to Sam about how he's not trying to be Steve, or replace him, he's just trying to do his best and be the best Captain America he can, and it'd be great to have Cap's 'wingmen' on his side. I sense sincerity, but you're still punchable, goober. And Sam isn't buying it either. He shakes his head and laughs bitterly, "It's always that last line." He hops out and follows Bucky.

Elsewhere, the super terrorists have reached a safe house with a way too chatty dude who is trying to make them at home in his dicey looking shopfront. He rattles on about how they're becoming legends and the people love them because they're pushing back! Against … the GRC? I guess?

Super soldier girl (Karli) gets a hate text. "You took what is mine. I'm going to find you and kill you." Well, sleep tight, sister!

One of the other guys has already logged into a computer system and he starts hacking and wiping their info off the internets and interpol, I guess.

"Six months ago would you have imagined people supporting a cause like this?" I'm still very unclear on what your cause is.

Maybe I'm overthinking the silly superhero universe, but I can't imagine the blip world was wonderful. You're missing half the people. So half of everybody who'd do various jobs. So half of the knowledge base of humanity on earth. Half of the experience base of humanity on earth. Half of the farmers, half of the engineers, half of the doctors, half of the people who maintain any system you can imagine, half of the people who build those systems, half of the teachers, half of the factory workers, half of the grandparents who pass down stories and community knowledge, half of the animals, half of the fish, half of the insects and so half of the plants. Ecosystems could easily collapse. Certainly infrastructure did, with half of the people needed to maintain it gone. Cities would have started to crumble, since half of the sources of goods, food, and services were gone. (we did have something of a real-world equivalent in Europe during the Black Death. Things were not nice for quite a long while after the worst years of the plague.)

I'm sure there would be areas that did better than others. But, half of any government gone, half of any police, half of any military. There would be power vacuums and probably shitheads to fill them. I don't see any particular utopia in a blip-ified world.

And that's not even taking into account the psychological damage to all the unblipped. The pure existential horror of half of everything suddenly gone.

But, that aside. I like genuinely do not know what they're trying to achieve.  

"We're not playing no more," announces Karli. "We can't let the same assholes who were put back in power after the Blip win." Literally do not know what that means. "The GRC care more about the people who came back than the ones who never left." I mean … isn't that literally what they're for? "We got a glimpse of how things could be." Chaotic and apocalyptic? In fairness, I guess if you could carve out your own thing in that, and maybe it could even be good, then you'd be bitter if everybody came back all of a sudden and messed that up. I'm sure the power struggles are real.

"One world! One people!" Okaly-dokaly. Fascinated to see how you eight will achieve that.

Bucky's brooding on a plane, Sam's trying to sleep but the brooding is too much to ignore.

"You alright?" "Let's take the shield, Sam. Let's take the shield and do this ourselves." He's using his almost scary Winter Soldier voice. And staring into the void. Sam, call his doctor. She needs to remind him of rules one and two. "We can't just run up on a man, beat him up, and take it." Good point, Sam. For real, call Bucky's doctor. He's going to the scary illegal place.

"Do you remember what happened the last time we stole it?" "Maybe." lol such a petulant little grumpus you are, Bucky. "I'll help you in case you forgot. Sharon was branded an enemy of the state and Steve and I were on the run for two years." Not everybody was lucky enough to have a goat farm during all that, Bucky. That's what the man's saying.

"We just got our ass handed to us by super soldiers and we got nothing." "That's not entirely true," Bucky says mysteriously. And he jumps down off his brooding crate to go sit next to Sam. "There is someone that you should meet."

Baltimore, Maryland

Sam has a cute aside with a neighborhood kid, then Bucky leads him up to a house that has seen better days. Somebody answers the door and Bucky says they're there to see Isaiah. But, the young guy who answers the door insists there's no Isaiah there. He's not very welcoming. Bucky says "tell him the guy from the bar in Goyang is here." The things you got up to, Bucky. I do wonder. "We had a skirmish during the Korean war." oh, lol. I mean, I'm sure it's a horrible story, but lol, Bucky you disaster.

Oh hey, Carl Lumbly! Gosh, I haven't seen him in an age. I almost didn't recognize him.

"He was a hero. One of the ones that Hydra feared the most. Like Steve. We met in '51." "If by met, you mean I whupped your ass, then, yeah." lol

Isaiah says he took part of Bucky's arm in Goyang and he just wanted to see if it grew back. And if Bucky was there to kill him. Bucky says he's not a killer anymore.

"You think you can wake up one day and decide who you wanna be?" Well, sure. "It doesn't work like that." Oh, but it must, or else what's the point? Isaiah has a lot of reasons to be bitter, though. 

"Isaiah, the reason we're here, is because there's more of you and me out there. And we need to know how."

This does not please Isaiah, who doesn't want to talk and throws a can of sardines (or something, I don't know what that was) through the wall. Old but still super solidery.

"You know what they did to me for being a hero? They put my ass in jail for 30 years." Um, wow. "People running tests, taking my blood, coming into my cell. Even your people weren't done with me." Well, that's deeply uncool. He very much wants his unwelcome guests to GFO, and I can't say I blame him.  

Sam is super pissed once they get out onto the street. "Why didn't you tell me about Isaiah?" Bucky doesn't answer. "I asked you a question, Bucky." Yikes.

And no, Steve never knew, because Bucky never told him. "So you're telling me there was a black super soldier decades ago and nobody knew about it?" I guess so.

And we're interrupted by a bizarre random encounter with presumably racist cops. They stop them in the street, get weird about asking for ID, and then ask Bucky, "is this guy bothering you?" And Bucky's like what in the actual fuck, he looks like a high school chem teacher and I look like the muscle for a loan shark, "no he's not bothering me. Do you know who he is?" Oh to be the Winter Soldier again for just a moment, eh? Anyway, one of the dipshits recognizes Sam and they get all dipshitty apologetic. "oh, Mr. Wilson, we're so sorry."

Oh, lol, they're going to arrest Bucky. There's a warrant out for him, because he missed his therapy session. I told somebody to call his therapist! I want to know which of those dipshits ran Sam and Bucky for wants. Because that’s not automatic or some shit, somebody’s got to call it in. 

Sam's like 'well that took a weird turn.'

Sam and Dr Raynor meet at whatever facility they’re holding Bucky. "Thanks for getting him out." "That was not me," the doctor assures him. Nope, it was Captain Goober, who greets the doctor with a wave. "Christina! It's great to see you again." lol. And Sam's day gets worse.

"I heard you were working with Bucky and thought I'd step in. Bucky's not going to be working on a strict schedule any longer." 

She's like, uh what? Says who? And he points at himself. okay, again, lol. Though, it’s weird to me how he insists on calling Bucky ‘Bucky’, like they’re buddies. They’re not buddies. Bucky's going to punch him in the face. 

"He's too valuable an asset to have him tied up. So just do whatever you've got to do with him, then send him off to me." Will Bucky turn around and go right back into his holding cell?

Dr's not going to let him. "James, condition of your release, session now. You too, Sam." "That's okay. I'll be out here with…" "That wasn't a request." Poor Sam. He has had THE WORST DAY.

I love Bucky slouching against the sergeant's desk all surly, like a 16 year old who got busted for boosting his grandmother's car.

Dr Raynor settles them all in what I assume is an interrogation room. She tells Bucky she just wants to help him get over whatever is eating at him. I guess she figures Sam could help with that, too?

"We're going to do an exercise. It's something I use with couples when they are trying to figure out what kind of life they want to build together." lol. but of course. a million fic writers deliriously rush to their keyboards.  

"Are you familiar with the miracle question?" "Absolutely not." "Of course not." heh "Okay, it goes like this. Suppose that while you're sleeping, a miracle occurs. When you wake up, what is something that you would like to see that would make your life better?"

Bucky says his miracle would be Sam talking less. Sam says that's what he was going to say. Dr Raynor is writing fic of her own. "You guys are leaving me no choice. It's time for the soul-gazing exercise." This is the weirdest therapy session ever.

Bucky is very on board. Sam's like 'what have you done? staring? that's his thing!'

"Let's do it. Let's stare. This is a good exercise. Thanks, doc." Bucky, you little asshole. lol

How many takes to do this scene? I can tell they're trying not to laugh. "Take 57. It's 1:30 am, guys. Please, can we get it this time?"

"Wait, what are you doing? Are you having a staring contest?" What about these two men's attitudes walking into the room suggested they were going to be at all mature about this, Doc?

"James, why does Sam aggravate you? And don't say something childish." She knows you too well, Buck.

Oh, Bucky. He wants to know why Sam gave up the shield, because Steve believed in him, gave him the shield for a reason. But, maybe Steve was wrong about Sam and if he was wrong about Sam, then he was wrong about Bucky.

Sam, has his reasons. He says maybe Bucky and Steve can't understand, but he wants to know if Bucky can accept that he did what he thought was right. Poor Sam.

And Sam's had enough. He says they've got bigger shit going on and he'll put whatever this issue is aside for now, and they'll go take care of that, and then he and Bucky can never see each other again. "Thanks doc, for making it weird. I feel much better."

She's like, well shit.

Bucky leaves as well, but she stops him. "I know that look. What's wrong?" "What was rule two again?" "Don't hurt anyone." "Goodbye, doc."

I think maybe she miscalculated a tiny bit.

"I feel better," Sam grumbles. "I feel awful," Bucky sighs.

And down the street Captain Goober and Hoskins starts chirping a police siren at them and they wave them over. "Gentlemen!" I really want Bucky to punch him just once.

Goober wants them to join forces. They're tracking Karli through various displaced communities in Europe.  She's the flag stompers leader, I guess? She's like … 16. DOUBT.

Anyway, she's do-goodering by stealing medicine and taking it to the displaced camps. I'm confused. So, post-blip, people who'd not blipped are now suddenly being displaced? I thought the displaced where the blipped trying to reintegrate. But, she was mad at the GRC for only caring about the blipped not the unblipped (which, again is the GRC's raison d'être, so yes?). I feel like I'm missing something.

Bucky snarks at Goober a bit. He's not a fan at all. "Things are really intense for you, aren't they, Walker?" 

Sam's like okay, let's all simmer down. "It is imperative that we find them and stop them." But, also, though, he and Bucky are free agents, so they're more flexible than mister "i'm the government" over there.

Captain Goober doesn't care for that. "Word of advice, then. Stay the hell out of my way." Don't push your luck, goober.

Bratislava, Slovakia

Flag Stompers loading a small plane. Uh oh, they've been found out! Karli asks how much time they have. "None. It's the Power Broker's men." The Power Broker. See, that's the kind of jackassery you get in a Blip scenario. That's what I'm talking about. Did you steal super soldier serum from this guy, Karli? Hmmm? One noble Flag Stomper offers to stay behind and hold them off while they make their escape, for One World! One People! Dream big, kid.

He knocks down a power pole to block the road but then he runs at the badder guys? And gets himself shot a zillionty times. I … he'd already blocked the road? Why not just … you know what? Never mind.

Back to Bucky and Sam and Bucky with an idea that might just be worse than the self-sacrificing Flag Stomper's run-at-the-badder-guys-for-great-justice idea. He suggests that perhaps somebody who knows all of Hydra's secrets can give them the answers they need. 

"So you're just going to go sit in a room with this guy?" "Ye-… yes," Bucky says, absolutely oozing with confidence.

Off to see Zemo! I'm sure that will go terribly! Can't wait!

And Credits!

Not gonna lie. I'm not sure how I feel about this episode. It felt a little disjointed.

I don't get the Flag Munchers, but I'm thinking they're just a red herring. Because they're basically utopian idealist twelve-year olds with nice but vague goals and vague iffy means to achieve those goals. I don't feel they're a whole lot more than some misguided kids who grew up in a blipped world and change is difficult and scary (and I’m sure it’s probably managed poorly. I can’t think of anything less efficient than a global council for anything. you could have a global council for dirt and it would be a bureaucratic nightmare). And they probably stole super soldier serum from somebody way scarier. Dummies. I think they're going to need to be rescued at some point. Probably soonish.

As for that other guy. There's moments where I like John Walker a little bit, and moments where I find him really aggravating. I get they want to make him the super-duper bestest perfectest hero, or that’s why he was chosen by the DoD or whatever, but part of Steve's charm was he wasn't perfect. He wasn't Captain America because he won a million awards, he was Cap because he had a good heart. That's the point. THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD BE CAP, SAM!

Also, I don't like hard feelings between Sam and Bucky. Though, nothing about their history would suggest an easy friendship (one time Sam was driving in his car and Bucky ripped the damn steering wheel out), so that's not a complaint, it just makes me sad. They really only have a connection because of Steve and he's gone. Be friends, guys!

And finally, when will Sharon Carter return from being an enemy of the state?

[coffeebeannate]

Nate Watches Things: A Saga

Or in this case, one thing. One thing that was far too long of a thing, but such a bizarre venture that I felt rather compelled to put an actual review of said thing together.

Why? Because I can and because others HAVE to experience this..this journey. A nice lil journey called Die Pfeiler der Macht/ A Dangerous Fortune. And I watched it solely because Luca looks cute in Victorian clothes, and I was intrigued by the gifs.

Curiosity has always been such a great human motivator, eh?

And..guys. I just. I don’t know what the 3-4 hours (it’s two movies, and I took a couple days to watch it) WERE, exactly, but they were..a thing? I know that it’s based on a book by Ken Follett and that this production is German. Despite being based in England. 

Oh, and Luca’s character Mickey Miranda, is uh, Spanish. Make of that what you will.

So the summary is this:

A shocking secret behind a young boys death leads to three generations of treachery in this breathtaking saga of love, power and revenge, set amid the wealth and decadence of Victorian England.

And no it does not do this thing justice whatsoever.

Review under the cut. It’s too long *again, two movies here*, and I took far too many screencaps of this absolute wtfery, and uh, it’s probably better suited for a real-time live blog but nah. You can have this instead.

Some images under the cut are NSFW because nefarious boning is a key point in this..thing.

SPOILERS. So many spoilers. This thing is a spoiler fest. The caps have a very obvious Luca bias, I know why we’re here everyone. Hehe. There’s also some triggering stuff in this thing, so be warned there too.

BEHOLD:

So, a point I want to make is that the costuming in this movie is LEGIT. If absolutely nothing else works? Note that the costuming absolutely does.

The opening credits are very nice, Luca’s very pretty, this cap serves purely to showcase that because I’m a very serious man doing a very serious review.

Pretty.

So the beginning is..confusing. We have a girl, Maisie Robinson. (Around 10-13 here?) Her father is very poor and it’s her and her two siblings. He works for a man who is part of our main characters, the Pilasters?  and they run this bank. The head of the bank commits suicide, since they’re having financial troubles and he cannot repay his workers. He pens a note to his young son *under 12 at this point*, Hugh. 

Hugh never finds out about this letter, but anyway. At the moment, it’s 1866. Maisie’s father was one of those employees. Destitute, he leaves Maisie to..raise her siblings, and goes to America.

We never hear from this man again.

Hugh goes to live with his aunt (Augusta/Augustina?), uncle Joseph, and cousins, Edward and Clara.

THEN IT’S 1877 (we jump ten years)

Maisie’s two siblings have died, and she has a daughter, Rachel now. Who is also dying. This movie is very keen on people dying. I’d also like to point out that there is like, endless plots all happening alongside one another, and it took me until mid-way into part two to even really grasp what the main plot is.

The movie has a LOT of bank talk as well. I cannot express this earnestly enough, there is SO MUCH bank chatter. SO MUCH. This thing does not have to be as long as it is but again, bank stuff.

Anyway, the one plot is that Maisie is from the poor area, she’s had a horrible life and has struggled from day one. She’s in a constant battle with Hugh, and they argue a lot. A lot. (They like each other, they met as kids, but they’re from very different worlds. Hugh has money, she doesn’t, but Hugh has suffered as well and basically it’s your normal class struggle social commentary thing).

Maisie and Hugh in 1866, as kids, after Maisie’s father left for America. This is the funeral for Hugh’s father. So that’s the theme I mean.

Anywho.

Back in 1877, this is Samuel *left*, Joseph *middle* and Edward. The Pilaster’s get marched into work like they’re freaking army Captain’s and not just rich ass bankers. Imagine saluting your CEO. At work. Outside of the military. WHERE IS THIS A THING? Maybe this was a thing in Victorian England I have no clue I’ve certainly never come across it in my studies. Ffs.

Anyway.

So while all this is going on, there’s this man that wants to marry Maisie. 

And his name is,

(That’s Rachel, Maisie’s daughter). Anyway, Solly here loves Maisie and wants to marry her. But Maisie loves Hugh, and neither of them realize this yet. Solly is a himbo and we mostly like him, but stay tuned because that doesn’t stick. Sorta. Depends on how-

Nevermind I’ll just keep going.

ANYWAY, more plot.

Here’s Edward again, doing drugs, being gay, and overall..useless. Edward is..Edward is kind of like a person who would make an interesting wall decoration. Fun enough to look at, but utterly freaking hopeless, and useless, and so dumb. Just so dumb. This character is given the substance of ash fault. Kinda like, only vaguely solid enough to be entertaining. Kinda.

I don’t know guys, BUT LOOK!

It’s his good old pal Mickey! And he’s slapped Edward awake out of his drug coma (okay he grabs his face and shakes him rather than slapping but given how much slapping happens in the rest of this movie I think I can be forgiven) and he has PLOTS.

Mostly it’s his dads plot, but it’s a plot. A very devious scheme and he needs our favourite wallpapers assistance!

(Sorry Edward, but it’s true)

So keeping in mind that the ‘theme’ of this movie is bone-and-soul crushing sadness paired with periods of intense chaos and insanity that  you never see coming, our plots continue to thicken.

What Mickey means here, is that Edward’s family denied Mickey’s father what he wanted *weapons deal*, and beat the crap out of Mickey in a carriage. But that’s fine that’s fine Mickey is not deterred! BECAUSE.

*sigh*

So.

OK.

This scene.

Remember what I said about how this movie goes from being incredibly boring to so off the walls bonkers without actually WARNING YOU that it is going to do this? Yeah.

Edward, you see, really does not ‘do’ women. He’s gay. He’s extremely gay. Edward’s mother wants him to marry Florence Stalworthy for idk rich people reasons.

So..Mickey. Uh. Mickey’s solution is..this.

What is this, you ask??

Fuck if I know.

Anyway, no, uhm. This is a brothel. So (not) pictured here (I can’t post the scene on tumblr guys we have a ban) is Edward on a couch across from mask-and-feathers MIckey and this tied down woman, with another woman who is not tied down. And this is Mickey..showing Edward..how to.have sex with women. Apparently. Sort of. His lesson falls very flat. It is not a good scene, Mickey’s ‘instructions’ get increasingly louder, and he at one point makes this noise that sounds like a Joker laugh.

It is...it’s something.

(Also note there’s some extremely uncomfortable, misogynistic name-calling on Mickey’s part here..so yeah).

Oh, and it doesn’t convince Edward. At all. IMAGINE.

Around all this time, the Hugh/Maisie/Solly plot is also ongoing. And that also encompasses bar fighting (bare knuckles boxing and wrestling I think? And gambling)

Hugh has gambling debt we’ll get back to this. (He’s also obsessed with getting Russian bonds into the bank, again, the banking plot losses me a LOT)

So meanwhile, Mickey meets up with Edward’s mother.

But why Edward’s mother, you ask??

Well. *sigh*. Something I didn’t mention earlier is that Mickey likes Ed’s mum. A lot. A lot a lot. Mickey wants to take that woman to town and then some, is a very basic way of me putting it and-

Fuck it. Mickey wants to bang Ed’s mum. BADLY.

(She’s not opposed either, at all)

So their little scheme here is that Ed’s mum wants Ed to take control of the bank, but with the father-in-law alive, that’s not going to happen. So they’re plotting to take down the next person in charge who would succeed said father in law, (Samuel) who is in a relationship with the secretary mentioned above, Michael.

Yes, another GODDAMNED PLOT.

(Samuel is fairly unpleasant like all of these people, so I don’t feel that bad for him. He also kinda treats Michael like garbage, and is called out for this by Joseph later in the movie)

So the scheme here is to get rid of the father-in-law, and get Ed married. Cake walk!

(Also, while ALL THIS is going on, Mickey’s got his own mini-plot about doing these things for his father, the weapons and stuff but we don’t actually find out about the main goal of that whole thing till the end, you’ll see)

Oh, and since we’ve not had a good dose of ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ lately, Solly proposes to Maisie with an honest-to-god Alice in Wonderland party.

Yeah.

Meet the Mad Hatter! He’s a guide, he says nothing. Other people are in costume too, but you know-I have enough caps as it is.

So anyway, Maisie and Solly get engaged, Maisie and Hugh meet up at some point and bang instead. 

And while that’s happening, Edward is convinced by Mickey to marry Florence.

So he does.

Lookit this shit faced smug ass grin.

(Also ahead is Samuel again, and Hugh)

BUT THEN the bank finds out about Hugh’s gambling debts. So he leaves. Taking his cousin Clara (Edward’s teenage sister-at her insistence) to the USA. And just like Maisie’s dad, another man abandons her for the States.

So the father in law is still alive, so! 

It’s murder time.

Perfect wedding time event yeah?

So Mickey murders the father-in-law. (He jumps on him, suffocates him with a pillow, gets caught by Augusta and then they do this..weird ‘tensely make the bed thing’)

Murdered.

And then, exactly five seconds or so later..

Nothing like some murder pre-boning with the dead guy two feet away amiright?

Anyway at this point I was just:

And yelling at my ceiling. Not pictured.

I was a Hannibal fan and I STILL went !?!?!?

END PART ONE.

Part two starts out in 1912, and then cuts back to 1882. So in this messy timeline, note it has been six years since part one. And Hugh is married now to Nora, an American singer, and Clara is older and pregnant. (Father is never determined, but he’s a married man and that’s why Clara didn’t stay)

SO the three of them are returning home. Maisie and Solly have a son, David, and Maisie is depressed and distant, so Solly is the one who spends all the time with David. He’s shown as a legit good dad and it’s quite cute watching them.

(The kids Hugh’s, btw, he and Maisie both know this, Hugh does not, it’s revealed dramatically later but we still have so many plots)

Edward and Florence are childless. Edward doesn’t sleep with her. Everyone knows this.

(At this point I kept asking myself when this would end, I cannot stress how LONG this thing feels at times)

So Hugh and Nora meet up with Maisie and Solly, and they chat and there’s more love plots, more bank plots and a masquerade party where at some point Maisie thinks a little girl at the party is Rachel (who died in the end of part one, sorry!) and there’s a fire and Maisie and Hugh make out and Nora and Solly are both upset and it’s a whole thing.

Samuel now does something of a side business that’s unspecified with Michael, and pregnant Clara is being persued by the only man who might be a good match for her (she’s not keen on getting married. But he’s also..really old.) PLOTS.

And Mickey and Augusta are..still a thing. And Edward being chlidless is becoming an issue. So what is the solution dear friends??

*BANGS HEAD INTO A WALL*

Why the fuck not.

Absolutely flawless! Eddie will NEVER notice.

SO with this plan in motion, Mickey sets out to seduce Florence, Eddie’s neglected wife. He starts in a church, and I have to admit, this one line he gives is quite funny.

“I don’t go to church.”

Cannot begin to imagine why.

Also, around this time is when we get the infamous scene about how he fcked the wives of the three men and then made the guys suck his dick one by one. I didn’t cap that since it’s in gif form, but yeah.

Hugh and Solly and Nora and Maisie are still having their love issues. And there is still bank stuff as all this is going down.

But while on his Florence quest, we see Mickey beat up a guy who was abusing a small boy, and Florence see’s him do this as well and:

He looks so baffled. 

‘Me? GOOD? I really don’t think so.”

She’s also holding a baby, and he gives the infant this face:

“Eugh, what is that?”

He also finds her in church again at some point and comes alongside her like this:

”Sup? Whatcha prayin’ about?”

Anyway, while doing all this, he’s still having some issues. He needs Eddie’s signature for a bank transfer (for his father, his father’s plot is STILL a THING) and so it is time to seduce someone ELSE. This time it’s Edward. This won’t be hard. Edward wants him so bad you could probably see it from fucking space.

Mickey is well aware of this.(I don’t think it’s one sided either, he looks at Edward all wide eyed half the time, but he’s so manipulative it’s hard to judge).

Actually me right now tbh.

So that’s this followed by the infamous gif set.

Edward takes him up on it.

‘Come along my dear there’s nefarious boning to be done’.

Absolutely vital screencap below (which is the most we get anyway and I didn’t cap the line about the freaking signature because fuck plots over nice images okay)

Vital

Anyway Edward gives him the bloody signature. And then Mickey goes along to talk to Augusta. But at this point Mickey is very much beginning to unravel. His goal seems to be more centralized to finishing whatever long ass convoluted job his father has been making him do for the last six years (possibly more tbh) and he’s sort of done with everything.

And Edward see’s this exchange. Le. Oof.

SO! IN BETWEEN ALL THIS. There’s some party where there’s drama and then basically Nora..willing gives up Hugh so he can be with Maisie and Solly just..I don’t even know, single dad for life and all. Edward knows that his family has basically been doing shit all around him, and Mickey STILL seduces Florence. He has her meet him outside that night at two am and they get together, but when he’s with her he kinda has these doubts but she wants him anyway so they bang.

Yeesh.

AFTER that there’s Edward again, because Edward knows shit is up, Mickey goes to a room to grab a bag and see’s Edward there. He tells Edward goodbye, but Edward pulls a gun. Mickey just...drops the bag, tells him to shoot. Edward doesn’t, instead he turns the gun on himself and then Mickey shoots himself in a chair.

Yeah.

DEATH! SADNESS! REMEMBER-THIS MOVIE LOVES DEAD PEOPLE~!

At some point in all this, Augusta goes to her daughter, Clara, apologies for being an absolutely evil mother for her entire life and then the movie sort of begins to wrap up.

Maisie and David were going to leave for the States together, but David wants to stay with Solly, who well DID raise him despite him being Hugh’s kid. So Maisie and Hugh are alone and David lives with Solly and the Pilaster bank has discovered the ACTUAL FREAKING PLOT OF MICKEY’S DAD AND THE ENTIRE BACKGROUND THING. Which was this:

THIS DIDN’T NEED TO BE ALMOST FOUR HOURS, GERMANY.

SO Hugh lets the mob inside. We don’t see what happens after that, but Augusta comes in to tell Joseph Edward shot himself.

Lots of sadness.

So the movie ends in 1912, with David and Hugh meeting up. David never saw Maisie again *she’s deceased now, as is Solly.* they talk, there is some moral lesson or something about love. The goddamned end.

OOF.

SO overall?

I don’t know.

It’s a movie. It has a script and plot and..it was put on screen? The costumes are legitimately amazing. They might be the best thing about this thing. But it REALLY feels like Ken really wanted to make a movie about banking, noticed that’d be boring and tried to make it spicy.

It’s so bizarre. So depressing. So many people are horrible. So many bad things happen. So much slapping, so much weirdness. There’s nothing happy in this thing. Not one. The so called ‘good’-ish ending falls flat amongst a sea of depression and I re-iterate, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE SO LONG.

I distinctly recall lots of clock watching at times, wondering how I could POSSIBLY have more to go. It then goes so completely off the rails that you just don’t know what is happening and it’s just WEIRD.

At times that weirdness makes it fun, but overall it’s really not great. I probably would never rewatch it, and I can say that it’s an uh, experience in movie-watching.

A good one? I don’t know. But an experience, none the less.

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Bonus Chapter 2

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 11,634

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

“Pssst. Raindrop. Check it out."

I paid little mind to the new conversation apparently taking form in the kitchen behind me.

"Hm…? What is it? What am I looking at here?" A pause, then a tiny gasp. "...is… is that what I think it is?"

I just kept scrolling through my phone from my seat on the couch, only listening with half an ear.

"Mm-hm! Her first one! Ain't it a beaut?"

Riku was currently out for what was looking to be a particularly long day at work for him and seeing as how we both had the day off ourselves, Lea and I had decided to hang out at my apartment and keep Rayne company. We'd settled on watching a movie, but my roommate had paused it to go get herself a drink. A few seconds later, Lea had gotten up as well, claiming to be a bit parched himself.

"Oh my god, it's so cute and little!"

We'd even brought Marshmallow with us for a visit with his auntie, especially considering Saïx would have flayed us alive if we'd stuck him with dog-sitting duty yet again. My fingers absently scritched behind one of his ears as the little pup contentedly rested his head in my lap. Though my use of "little" was strictly in the loosest sense of the term. Having had him for close to two months at this point, he'd grown quite a bit. He still looked like a puppy, mind you… there was just a lot more puppy to love now.

"I know, right? So precious, so smol. Just a wee baby hickey!"

My head jerked up at the last word, eyes wide. Then I hastily twisted around in my seat. The scene that greeted me in the kitchen was that of Lea with one finger hooked into his tee-shirt collar and tugging it down to show Rayne a tiny patch of discoloration on his skin just below and slightly to the right of his collarbone.

"Lea!" I snapped, face reddening while my hand gripped the backrest of the sofa so hard, my knuckles turned white.

They both looked at me and froze, Lea muttering, "Uh-oh."

Dropping my phone onto the cushions, I was on my feet in a heartbeat and charging towards them, "That was supposed to be private!"

"Now now, El," he soothed as he quickly moved to put the kitchen table between me and him, "how was I s'posed to know that? You never said anything about-"

"It was implied, you… you… ugh, come here!" I snarled, running around the table with Marshmallow hot on my heels, barking excitedly. Rayne just sniggered as she sidestepped out of our way.

Lea was easily able to keep ahead of me, maintaining the table as a barrier between us. "Aw, c'mon, babydoll! This was a big step for you! I was just proud of you and wanted others to share in my joy!"

"No!" I slapped one palm down on the dining surface while angrily pointing a finger at him across it. "No others! You can't tell anyone else, you hear me?!"

"Alright, alright, I won't tell any other people, I swear!" he raised both hands in a placating gesture. Then he pursed his lips to one side as his gaze averted. "Well… any more other people…"

I blanched. "...who? Who else did you already tell? Roxas? Xion?"

He scoffed, splaying his hand against his chest in offence. "Please, just what kinda man do you take me for? I'm a gentleman, I don't do any of that locker-room talk bullshit." He crossed his arms over his chest, harrumphing as if the very notion was an insult to everything he stood for. Then he gave a small shrug, "...I just told Anna."

I choked and spluttered, unable to find words for a few seconds. "My… You told my sister?!" I took off after him once more, but curse him and his freakishly long legs, the jerk was able to move fast enough to keep the table between us. Marshmallow kept prancing about down around our feet, just out of his mind and beside himself from the sudden burst of activity. Stopping once more, my hands seized the backrest of the nearest dining chair and squeezed the life out of it as I growled, "Why? Why on earth would you tell my sister?"

"Lookit it this way. See, it's like… baby taking her first steps, ya know? I just want all of baby's family and loved ones to feel included in these special lil milestones! Baby being you, of course!"

Oh, "baby" was so going to murder this boy.

"And may I just take this moment to add," oh dear lord, he did not know when to stop talking, even if his very life depended on it, "what a privilege, nay, honor it has been to have a front row seat to - not to mention be instrumental in - your sexual awakening these past several weeks and-"

I threw a coaster at him.

"Hey now, watch it, those are fragile!" Rayne chided as she scooped the other ones off the table to tuck away safely in a cupboard before taking out a different stack to hand to me. "Use these instead. They're garbage, but hard as rocks!"

"Don't give her more ammo!" Lea yelped and ducked as I rapidly chucked my freshly stocked supply of munitions at him. Once I was out, I made another dash for him. Once again, he tried to bolt. This time however, he tripped and stumbled over Marshmallow with a tiny, "Shit!" He managed to grab the edge of the table and catch himself but he'd already lost his lead, giving me a chance to close the distance. Right before I could deliver my righteous justice however, he scooped up Marshmallow and was suddenly holding the giant, squirming ball of white fluff up between us, desperately asking, "You wouldn't hit a guy holding a stupidly cute puppy, would you?"

Huffing through my nose, I narrowed my eyes on him. "Put the dog down, Lea," I said, my voice dangerously low and even.

"Seeing as how the lil furball is the only thing between me and an untimely date with my maker, I'm gonna hafta give ya a hard pass there," he chuckled weakly, inching back a step. Then he was calling over his shoulder, "Lil help, Raindrop?"

She just grinned and shook her head from where she'd taken a seat at the dining table. "Mm-mm, nope. You're on your own, Red."

"Dude. Harsh. I thought we were frien- ow!" he hissed as I took advantage of his distraction to pinch his arm. Marshmallow came in for the assist, chomping down on Lea's fingers and forcing a yelp out of him as he dropped the puppy. Giving his abused hand a shake, he scowled down at the culprit. "Et tu, Marshmallow?"

In response, he just wagged his poof of a tail and sunk his teeth into Lea's leg.

"Destroyer of Worlds, my ass. More like Destroyer of My Ankles, you lil-" Lea's grumbling died down instantly as he saw me take a menacing step towards him. Gulping, he took several steps backwards, snatching up one of the kitchen chairs to use for a makeshift shield. As I kept stalking towards him, he continued backing up until his rear hit a countertop. Sitting atop it and scooching back even further until his spine was against the wall, he stretched one foot out to press against my stomach, holding me at bay with it while he shoved the chair legs in my directions a couple times, "Back! Back I say!"

I froze, blinking at him a couple times. "...are you seriously lion-taming me right now?"

He frowned, eyes darting down to the chair he was holding, then back up to meet my gaze. "Depends. Is it turning you on, my sexy lioness?"

My eyelids drooped. "Not even a little bit."

"Then nope! No, mm-mm, definitely not what I am doing." Something suddenly started ringing back from the direction of the living room. Lea straightened up, eyes brightening, "Oo! Oo! That's your phone, isn't it? Better go answer it!"

"It can go to voicemail," I ground out through my teeth, shoving his foot off my abdomen and taking another step closer.

Still frantically using the chair to defend himself, he asked, "You sure 'bout that? Could be important!"

"It can wait."

"I'll get it!" Rayne chirped, rising and moving to the couch where I'd left my phone. Picking it up, her thumb swiped the screen and she held it up to her ear, cheerfully greeting, "Elsa's pants, she's not in them right now!"

"Rayne!" I whipped my head around to glare at her. She simply winked and blew me a kiss. Sighing, I muttered, "You're just lucky you're pregnant, otherwise you'd be next up on my kill list."

"Hey, double standards!" Lea huffed. "No fair, I can't get pregnant!"

Palm covering the lower half of the phone so it wouldn't pick up her voice, Rayne whispered, "Maybe you're just not doing it right."

"Huh… I'm game to give it a whirl." He smirked at me, "Go on, El. Put a baby in me."

My answer came in the form of grabbing two of the chair legs and giving them a hard shove, ramming the edge of the backrest into Lea's gut.

He grunted and wheezed, "Don't think that's how that's done, babe."

Before I could make a retort, Rayne was abruptly holding my phone in front of my face. "It's Larxene."

My head rocked back slightly, my anger dispersing in an instant as my eyes darted from the mobile, then to my roomie, then back again. Why was the assistant director calling me? Brow furrowed, I finally took it from her and held it up to my ear with an uncertain, "...hello?"

"Get your ass down here. Now."

"I… o-of course! But-"

Click.

She'd hung up.

Both eyebrows shot up my forehead as I slowly lowered the phone, staring at my reflection in the now blackened screen.

"What's up, El?" Lea asked, voice immediately colored in concern as he dropped the chair and slid off the counter onto his feet.

I shook my head. "...guess I better get my ass down there."

Leaving Marshmallow in Rayne's care, Lea and I were on the road within minutes and heading towards Sunset Hill Auditorium. That was my best guess anyway as to wherever it was that Larxene wanted me to get my ass down to. I tucked in my bottom lip as I watched the buildings rush past, my fingers fidgeting with my braid.

Why was I being called in?

The not knowing had me on edge.

Our grand opening of Wicked had occurred last weekend. As was to be expected, I'd been so nervous I'd practically choked on all those butterflies jam-packed inside my stomach trying to escape. But it'd been a good nervous. An excited nervous. And in the end, it'd been so much fun and the show had gone off without a hitch.

Or at least, so I'd thought…

Maybe that's why Larxene was summoning me. Maybe I'd screwed up big time in my role without even realizing it. And I was part of the chorus no less - just one of many, so it would've had to have been one major flub on my part for her to take notice and zero in on me. We were back around to Friday now, so tonight was supposed to be our next showing, followed by several more weekends to come before the musical closed out. But maybe… if I had royally flopped super hard last week...

...oh god… was she going to kick me out of the show?

I gave a start as Lea's hand suddenly closed around mine, lacing our fingers together and stopping me from getting this close to tearing my hair out. He pulled it over to rest in his lap, brushing his thumb back and forth along my knuckles as he continued to drive one handed. "You're sure she didn't say anything else? Anything at all?"

Grimacing, I shook my head. "Nothing. Just told me to come and to be quick about it." I puffed out a sigh, staring down at my lap. "...I doubt it's anything good though. She sounded mad."

He gave an unimpressed razz of his tongue. "That hag always sounds like someone's spit in her Cheerios, so that's not saying much."

That earned him a feeble smile from me, one that swiftly faded. "...what if…" I began, but then clamped my mouth shut against the words, my frown deepening. "...there's this one scene… you remember, from when you saw it last weekend? The bit with the party, where Elphaba is pranked into wearing the witch hat? There's one part of that whole dance routine where we - the chorus that is… we're supposed to twirl to and fro, and maybe… what if I to'd when I should have fro'd and that's why she's calling me in? I to'd when I should've fro'd and wrecked the whole scene and now she's cutting me and making sure I can never, ever work in theater again and-"

"Nonsense, El," he chuckled, shaking his head as he pulled up my hand to kiss the back of it. "Your to-ing and fro-ing were perfect last week. Perfecter than perfect. Those to's and fro's were so perfect that everyone in the audience was too busy being enchanted by you to even pay any attention to the leads and whatever the hell they were doing. In fact, do you wanna know who was sitting in the very seat next to me during that showing?"

My eyelids drooped at how thick this dork was laying it on. "No, but I get the feeling you're about to tell me," I deadpanned.

He grinned big as he turned the car into a parking spot in front of the auditorium and killed the engine. "Why, it was none other than the Grand High King To-And-Fro Champion of the Universe himself! And he was so stunned, so amazed, so enthralled by your hella sick to-ing and fro-ing skills that I overheard him say," here his voice deepened theatrically, "at long last! I've found a worthy successor to bequeath my bedazzling, golden To-And-Fro Crown to!"

I scoffed, using climbing out of the car as an excuse to hide my small, traitorous smile. "Wow, there's a To-And-Fro Crown?"

"You bet your sweet booty there is!" he chirped as he exited the vehicle himself, slamming the door shut behind him.

An amused little huff escaped my nose as I joined him, slipping my hand back into his before making my way towards the entrance to the building. Then I was shooting him some suspicious side-eye. "...you're planning to make me a crown now, aren't you?"

"I dunno what you're talking about," he said a touch too innocently as we climbed the steps and walked inside.

I shot him a dull look. "Do not make me a crown."

"Oh-ho, you're getting a crown whether you like it or not, babycakes."

A soft snort escaped me as I pulled to a stop alongside the back row of audience seats. Then the chilly anxiety began to creep its way back inside my chest. Wrinkling my nose, I muttered, "It'd probably be best if I didn't take you in back with me, so just… wait here, I suppose. This should only take a few minutes… I hope."

Instead of releasing my hand as I turned to go however, his grip gently tightened as he said, "Wait, you forgot this."

"Wha-?" was all I managed to get out before he was tugging me back to him, cupping my cheek and pressing his lips to mine. For a moment, all thoughts of dread were forgotten, washed away by the waves of icy heat sent cascading throughout my body.

As he pulled away, he pressed his forehead to mine and trailed the pad of his thumb along the curve of my cheekbone, murmuring, "Whatever her High-And-Mighty Bitchiness wants, ya give her hell, you hear me?"

Face a little warm, I gave him a tiny smile and a single hesitant nod. Then I squeezed his hand before disentangling our fingers and heading towards the door that led to the backstage area.

The rooms back here were a ghost town currently. I knew however that in only a few short hours the place would be pure chaos with actors and techies alike rushing about in preparation for tonight's show. I frowned, fidgeting with my fingers as I slowly wandered from room to empty room, curious as to where exactly the fearsome assistant director might be hiding. Just when I was thinking about texting her to be sure this actually was in fact where she'd wanted me to come, I heard muffled voices. I glanced around for a second before making my way towards the dressing room as that seemed to be where they were coming from.

Poking my head through the doorway, I spotted three older women who I knew helped Sally with all the costuming for the shows here. They had a few of the costumes for the musical in hand, waving them about as they talked amongst themselves somewhat frantically. All their words were jumbling together into such a muddle of indecipherable noise, it was a wonder any of them were able to keep up with their own conversation.

Taking in a deep breath to settle my nerves before exhaling, I approached them with a polite, "Hi Flora, Fauna, Merryweather... Would any of you possibly know where Lar-"

"Ah! There you are, dear, and not a moment too soon!" The one in a red knit sweater, Flora, cried as she and the others whirled around to face me. "Come, come, there's too much to do and not enough time to do it all in! So many adjustments to make!"

And then I yelped as the three of them pounced.

Okay, maybe "pounced" was a tad strong. But they came at me brandishing tape measures in their hands and safety pins gripped between their teeth and if I'm being perfectly honest, it was a little distressing to say the least.

"Adjustments? What adj- hey, that tickles!" I squirmed as Flora, the one wearing the green hat, stretched out my arm to measure from wrist to armpit. "Adjustments to what?"

Flora smiled sweetly back at me as she wrapped the tape around my bicep now, "To the costumes, of course dear! What else?"

Well duh, I'd figured that much out! But which-

Oh! Hold on… could it be that…

"...was there an accident with one of my outfits? Did something rip and you just need to fix it?" Was that why I'd been called down here? Because if that's all it was, thank goodness!

The lady sporting a blue scarf, Merryweather, ignored my question as she straightened back up with a scowl after taking my height measurement. "Aww, phooey! You're shorter by five inches! Now we have to take up all the hemlines!"

My eyebrows knit together, "Wha… hemlines? What are you… shorter than what? Just what is going-"

"There you are!" A new voice exasperatedly joined the conversation from behind us and I turned to see Larxene striding into the room bearing a clipboard. Or rather, I tried to turn, only to have Flora flip me back around so she could resume measuring my shoulders. "Finally! You certainly took your sweet damn time!"

Wincing slightly, I began, "I… I got here as fast as I could, I-"

She sighed boredly, "Save it, I don't give a crap." Coming to a stop next to me, she eyed her clipboard as she flipped through a couple of the pages. "I got ahold of the others and they should be here any minute for our dry run. As long as no one fucks anything up, that should leave enough time to finish making sure all your costumes fit, your hair is done, and-"

"My hair? What are you doing with my... Wait, why wouldn't my- stop that," I hissed, shooing Fauna away from getting that tape cord anywhere near my bust before looking at Larxene again. "Why wouldn't my costumes fit? And dry run? What dry run? I didn't know about any more rehearsals being scheduled before the show today."

The assistant director gave me a flat look. "...Marluxia didn't tell you?" When my answer was only a blank stare, she growled in her throat, closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Of course he didn't. Why would he? He's only the damn director, ugh! Leave it to Pinkie to delegate without even bothering to tell me!" Cyan eyes locked on me once more and voice taking on what had to be the most unenthused tone in the entire history of all tones, she informed me, "Congratulations. You're Elphaba."

Sorry, I'm who now?

I blinked. Once, then twice. Then, "I'm…? Elph- Wha? Me? No, that can't- That's not- It doesn't- It's not- There's just- It couldn't- No, no, no, there must be-"

Gosh, I've always had such a way with words.

Pressing my lips together firmly and taking a second to gather my thoughts, I tried again. "Snow White-"

"Snow White has food poisoning and can't go on," Larxene enunciated as if she were explaining to a four-year-old child. "So Pinkie has shoulder-tapped you to step up and fill in. Mazel-fucking-tov, now can we move past this already?"

I frowned, barely even noticing now as the flurry of poking, prodding and measuring continued about my person. "But what about… I mean surely there must be a… an understudy! Or-"

She barked out a laugh. "An understudy? Princess please, this is community theater, what understudy?"

My gaze fell to the floor, a crease forming between my eyebrows. Then I was looking at her again, "But this just doesn't make any sense, there has to be someone else! Someone with… with more experience! Why not Tiana or-"

"Tiana's busy," Larxene rolled her eyes.

I shook my head, "Doing what?"

"Um, playing Glinda? Doi?" she arched an eyebrow at me, then scoffed. "We're not going to play musical goddamn chairs with all the leads just a few hours before the show starts. That'd be a royal shitshow, genius. So why don't I just leave all the prancy-wancy acting… stuff to you while you leave the assistant directing to me, okay?" That last word was dripping with enough sarcasm to fill a whole friggin' bucket.

"Then…" I bit down on my bottom lip, breathing shallow and mind racing, desperate to come up with any other solution. "...then one of the other girls! From the tryouts who aren't in the show! Like, oh, what was her name… Yuna?"

Larxene watched me blankly. Then she was tucking her clipboard into her armpit so she could clap her hands together once and coo in candy-coated sweetness, "Okay, yeah! Let's bring in someone who hasn't been to any rehearsals and doesn't know any of the stage layout or any of the choreography! It's perfect! Gee, why didn't I think of that?"

The mockery was neither appreciated nor lost on me.

"Fine! What about- I said stop!" Fauna had been making another shot for my bust and I stumbled out of that tangled mess of hands and measuring tape, huffing and puffing through my nose as I glanced back at them, "What are you even doing?!"

"Making sure we can get all of Snow White's costumes to fit you, dear! Now hold still, we're almost done," Flora said before they all ambushed me again.

Resigned to my fate for the moment, I turned my attention back to Larxene, "But what about one of the other girl's in the chorus? There has to be- There must be someone else who's more trained or… or would be a better fit or-"

"For fuck's sake, Snowflake, why are you fighting this so hard? Do you really need the validation of having me spell it out for you that badly?" Larxene snapped.

My head rocked back and I stared at her with eyes wide. "Wha… Validation? What are you… That's not-"

"Fine." She thrust up one hand to tick off her pinky finger, "One: you're consistent. Annoyingly so. You're the only chorus member who's shown up to every single damn one of the rehearsals. Maybe because all those other pathetic losers have more of a life than you? Don't know, don't care."

Hey now, I had a life!

...I think… it was still sort of a work in progress...

"Two," up went the next finger, "you know the show front and back and could probably recite the whole damn thing from cover to cover at the drop of a hat. You think we haven't noticed you backstage, mirroring all the other actors' stage directions and dance routines and miming along with all the lines and songs like some dumb parrot?"

Oh gosh, they saw that?! Color me mortified.

"Three, you actually got halfway decent pipes and should be able to handle Elphaba's songs at least well enough to not completely embarrass yourself."

Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence.

Jutting out one hip to plant a fist against it, Larxene stared down her nose at me. "So what's it gonna be, Shortbread? You've put in the time, you know your stuff, you got the voice… question is, you got the balls to actually do it?"

I stiffened, sucking in a breath and holding it. I'd run out of arguments to push back with. And honestly…

...did I really want to be arguing this?

The silence stretched as my heart pounded in my ears. Then finally and at long last, I gave a single yet vigorous nod. "Yes."

She smirked. "Good, cuz that was a trick question. You didn't actually have a choice, bitch."

The door to the room banged open as yet another person abruptly came sprinting into the room. She had long dark red hair beneath her newsboy cap and poking out of her shoulder bag was a crude hand-sewn doll that she was never seen without, though I'd never quite been able to figure out what it was exactly… a cat? A pig? Your guess was as good as mine. As for the girl herself, what I did know about her was that she also helped with costuming. Right now, she came bearing a giant black bottle that she waved high over her head. "Got it! Got th… the hair dye!" she panted out as she came stumbling to a stop and braced her shoulder against the wall for support, looking as if she'd just run a marathon.

"Hair dye?" my hand unconsciously went to my braid.

"Oh don't worry!" she gave an exhausted chuckle as she batted her hand through the air. "It's the kind that washes out, but it'll still look great on you!"

"Alright, wrap this up, ladies, we don't have all fucking day," Larxene snapped her fingers a couple times as she started making her way towards the exit. "Snowflake, your ass better be on stage in five so we can get this damn show on the road, got it?"

"Ah… y-yes, of course, I'll be-"

But she was already gone, slamming the door shut behind her.

"Shiki, be a dear and get these measurements to Sally," Flora finished jotting something down on two slips of paper before handing them both to the redhead. "There's a copy in there for you too, so you can grab Elphaba's nightgown for the Popular scene and start taking in the waist."

"Got it!" Shiki nodded as solemnly as a soldier being sent off to war. I was surprised she didn't salute before she darted out through a door in back that led to a deeper part of the dressing rooms.

The remaining three women were suddenly a red, green and blue whirlwind of activity as they bustled about the room, a cacophony of noise once more, flailing costumes as they went. I just kind of stood off awkwardly to one side, rubbing my elbow. Fauna noticed me long enough for a quick but friendly, "We're done, dear."

"Oh, okay," I nodded as she dashed off.

More awkward standing.

"Go on, shoo!" Merryweather impatiently whipped the outfit she was holding at me as she blurred past.

With a start, I gasped, "Right! I, uh… I'll get out of your way," before hastily retreating out the door.

I was still kind of in a state of shock. Because, come on… that was a lot to happen in the space of five minutes! Here I'd come in expecting to get cut, not to have a friggin' lead part dropped into my lap. None of this felt real. Was this a dream? Or maybe more like a nightmare, considering I'd actually been crazy enough to say yes. Oh dear god, was I even ready for this?

Feet seemingly on autopilot, I hardly realized where I was even going as I numbly walked back out towards the audience seating. Lea was slouched down in one of the chairs in back, lollipop stick poking out of one corner of his mouth and red Converse kicked up onto one of the backrests of the row in front of him as he thumbed through his phone.

Looking up as I approached, he grinned and hopped up to his feet with a chipper, "How did it go with Larxy?" But then he squinted at me with a frown. "...do I need to knock her block off? Cuz I'll do it. I don't care if she's a girl, I'll-" he cut himself off, lips pursing to the left. "Scratch that, that hag scares the everliving crap outta me. But I'll tell you what, I will definitely write her a strongly worded letter, or… ah! Passive aggressive post-it notes! That bitch is gonna be getting so many passive aggressive post-it notes from me, she'll rue the day she ever messed with my boo!"

Shaking my head slowly and still in an almost sort of trance, I said, "They're, uh… they needed to make adjustments."

One of his eyebrows quirked. "Adjustments?"

I nodded, staring off into space, eyes unfocused. "To the, um… the…" I gestured to my clothes by way of explanation. Don't think he got it. I kept going as if he had though. "And there's hair dye. And a dry run. Because of the poison."

"Poison?" he echoed again, this time slightly more alarmed.

"So they asked me to- well, I mean, I told them they should have a- you'd think they would have one, wouldn't you? But apparently no, not for community theater. So I said, well why not Tiana? But.. but Larxene didn't want to play musical chairs, and I suppose she had a point. And Yuna hasn't been around and wouldn't know any of the- not to mention all of the other girls have more of a life, so that apparently makes me the-" I suddenly inhaled sharply, digging my phone out of my pocket. "I should tell Anna."

"What? Tell Anna what?!" he asked, but I had already tapped her name in my contacts and was pressing the phone to my ear as I shushed him. His shoulders slumped and he muttered, "I have no freaking clue what's even happening."

It only rang once before a male voice answered, "City zoo, reindeer speaking."

Rolling my eyes as I also heard Anna's faint snickering in the background on the other end of the line, I said, "Hi Kristoff. Could you put my sister on please?"

Oh yeah, those two were an item now. Well, kind of… it was still new and Anna was taking it slow for once.

They were actually kind of cute together.

Though it was really weird seeing Kristoff smile so much now.

"Dweeb," came a muffled giggle from Anna, which I assumed was more so directed at my coworker than at me. There were some shuffling sounds as the phone presumably exchanged hands before she came in loud and clear in my ear with a bright, "Hey, Sis! What's up?"

At long last, a hint of a smile started to tug at my lips. "Something… something amazing has happened, you'll never guess! I-"

"Oh! I know already, and I am so friggin' proud of you, you have no idea!"

I blinked, tipping my head to one side. "You are? Wait, how could you possibly know already? I just-"

"Lea told me!" My forehead wrinkled at that as my eyes darted to him. Suddenly she let loose a piercing squeal and I flinched, holding the phone away a bit. "Ahhh! Lookit you! My big sis is all growed up and giving her man hickies! 'Bout friggin' time too!"

My right eye twitched.

Ah. Right. That. I'd almost forgotten.

My free hand snaked out to give Lea's arm another pinch and he yelped, lollipop tumbling from his lips. Fumbling to catch it, he grumbled, "Shit, El, what'd I do?"

Jabbing my fingertip against his chest at the exact spot where I'd left my mark under his shirt, I hissed, "You know what you did."

With a tiny sheepish chuckle, he scratched a spot behind his ear. "Oh yeah…"

Oh-ho, he was going to rue the day. And trust me, it wasn't going to be with passive aggressive post-it notes.

I narrowed my eyes on him as I continued my phone conversation, "First of all, I never want to hear the H-word coming out of your mouth again. You're my little sister, it's just… it's too weird." I paused with a small shudder, but then a grin slowly began fighting its way back onto my face. "Second of all… I'm Elphaba."

"...elle-fab-wha?"

I made a noise in my throat that was half sigh, half groan. What, did she sleep through the show when she saw it last week? ...honestly, I wouldn't have been surprised. "A lead. They made me a lead, okay? Th-" a gasp stifled my words as my free hand flew up to cover my mouth. It was finally actually hitting me. This was real. Saying out loud had suddenly made it so very, very real. "Oh my god, they made me a lead."

"They what?!" Anna shrieked in delight at the same time Lea surprised me by hugging my waist, picking me up and spinning me around as he laughed, "Babe, that's amazing!"

As he was putting me back down, I could hear Anna babbling, "How did this happen?! Tell me, I want to know everything! How is this even possible? Aren't all the leads filled?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but Lea started talking as well, "Did one of the stars call in sick? Shit, did she call in dead? You said something about poison, which is a thing I think we sorta glossed over and should circle back to."

Again, I took in a breath to form words. Again, I was cut off. "Did they realize how friggin' talented and beautiful and incredible you are and just write a new leading part specifically for you?"

"Was the actress poisoned? Was she murdered?" Lea then gave a dramatic mock gasp. "...did you murder her for the part?"

"What am I saying? Of course that's what they did, ah! I can't believe they friggin' wrote in a whole new character just for you! Except I can believe it and I do!"

"Cuz if you did, you know you can tell me, right? Your secret is safe with me, just damn, El... who knew beneath that whole sweet, doe-eyed routine of yours beat the heart of a ruthless, cold-blooded killer?"

"Both of you, shush!" I huffed, finally managing to get a word in edgewise. Jeez, I could barely handle one person talking to me on a good day, let alone two at the same time. To my boyfriend, I articulated slowly, "Food poisoning, Lea. Food poisoning." As he just sniggered and shrugged, I spoke into the phone, "And Anna, no, that's not how plays work. Someone fell ill, I'm just filling in." I puffed out a soft breath and hesitated, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth now. "...listen, are you busy tonight? Do you think… Would you be able to make it?"

"You want me there?! Really?" I winced at how shocked she sounded. "I mean, Sis, don't get me wrong, I'd absolutely love to go, but… me being there, that wouldn't, ya know… psych you out or make you feel more pressure?"

Restless fingers fiddling with my braid, I was silent for a few seconds. Then I gave a firm nod even though I knew she couldn't see it. "I would… really like it if you were there. Kristoff can come too, if you want."

Another eardrum bursting squeal. Don't think I was joking either. Pretty sure that was blood I felt trickling out of my ear now. "We are so there! We'll be like your groupies! We'll paint our faces and hold up signs saying how much we heart you and-"

"No!" I said quickly. Because I knew Anna. She wasn't kidding. "No face paint, no signs!"

"Oo, what's this I hear about face paint and signs?" Lea's eyes lit up.

I hung my head, pressing my fingers to the spot between my eyebrows. "Great, now you've gotten Lea's hopes up. You know how he latches on."

Giggling, Anna said, "And don't worry about inviting Mom and Dad, I'll pass the invite along to them for y-"

My shoulders stiffened. "Do not tell them! They won't care."

"But-"

"Just don't, Anna, okay? See you tonight." I scowled as my thumb pressed the 'End Call' button, silencing any further argument from her.

"Don't tell who what?" Lea asked, cocking his head slightly.

With a tiny exhale as I pocketed my phone, I said, "She wanted to invite my parents to tonight's show as well, which is ridiculous. They wouldn't want to come."

He frowned, then crossed his arms as he leaned one hip against an audience seat. "Do you want them there?"

I scrunched up my face. "...I haven't spoken to them in months. Not since that disastrous weekend you and I visited them. If the first thing they heard from me after all this time was to ask them to come see my silly little play… no, they wouldn't be interested. In fact, they'd probably be insulted. You know they discouraged my interest in theater all my life, so this would just be like a slap in the face to them. This is the last place they'd want to be, they wouldn't even be caught dead here. They won't come."

"But do you want them there?" he pressed again.

Hugging myself, I looked down, staring hard at my feet. "...Anna better listen to me. She better not tell them, or I'll-"

"What part of 'ass on stage in five' did you not understand, Princess?!" Larxene's voice was suddenly booming throughout the auditorium. I whirled around to see all the other performers had arrived and were waiting on stage with our illustrious assistant director in the front, glaring daggers at me as she impatiently tapped her foot. "Chop, chop, we don't have all day!"

"C-Coming!" I stammered back, then screwed my eyes shut as another thought struck me. I muttered, "Shoot, I was going to call Rayne too."

"Don't worry, I'll pass the message along. We'll all be there with bells and whistles on," Lea winked. I gave him a quiet thank you as I turned to rush off. Before I could take so much as a step however, Lea stopped me with a, "Hey." I glanced back at him and he grinned softly as he reminded me, "They gave you a lead."

I blinked. Then a huge smile spread across my face.

This was happening.

This was real. Like, really real.

Suddenly bubbling over with excitement and in need of an outlet, I flung myself at Lea and kissed him.

"God fucking damnit, now, Snowflake!" Larxene snapped.

"Be right up!" I called as I released him, tossing him one final hasty wave over my shoulder as I dashed towards the stage.

This wasn't a dream.

This was really happening.

And I couldn't wait to get started.

Scratch that, I could wait.

Maybe hold off for another hour or two? Or, I don't know… twelve? Tomorrow! Yes, tomorrow, would be great. Or better yet, perhaps a week from now? Heck, why not round it up to a nice, even year. Sound good?

If it wasn't obvious, I was having second thoughts. Not to mention third and fourth thoughts to boot.

It was kind of hard not to when I'd made the mistake of peeking out past the curtains to see just how many people were out there. Answer? A lot. So many. Too many. How did they even all fit in there? I could swear I remember the auditorium being a lot smaller… had it grown bigger in the past couple hours? Pretty sure it had grown bigger. I mean, that was the only logical explanation for the sheer amount of people in the audience now, right? Right.

Letting go of the curtain to block out the terrifying sight once more, I drew in a slow breath and held it for a few seconds. There was about fifteen minutes left before the show was to start. Fifteen very few, very short minutes. My face and neck were painted green, along with my hands that currently shook as I wrung them together. My hair was black and still braided and very tempting to tug at, but I resisted. My costume - a formal, blue three piece skirt suit with a knit cap - still didn't quite fit right in some places, but it fit well enough. The costuming ladies had actually done a pretty amazing job in the scant time they'd had to work with, I couldn't even fathom how they'd managed to get everything done. My best guess? Magic. It was the only thing that made sense.

My pulse chugged along at what felt like a billion beats per second and… crud, my palms were clammy. I hoped that wouldn't wipe away the body paint. Ugh, you would think I wouldn't be so nervous. I mean, what was the big deal anyway? So what if I was going to be on stage in front of that huge crowd? You know what, I'd been on stage in front of a huge crowd last week too and I'd handled it just fine. True, I'd just been a part of the chorus then, whereas tonight I was Elphaba, but what was the difference, I mean really? Just a handful of solo songs, a few hundred (or was it thousand?) more lines… then of course so many more eyes focused on me… so many more chances that something could go wrong…

Dammit, I was just being silly! Repeat after me, Elsa: nothing will go wrong. Nothing will go wrong. After all, the dry run had gone smoothly, hadn't it? Almost surprisingly so. Now I just had to do the exact same thing again, only this time in front of a room full of people!

...so many, many people...

Okay, this wasn't helping. I needed to take my mind off all this anxiety and calm down. What was that old trick for dealing with stage fright? ...picture the audience naked?

I hesitated, pursing my lips to one side. Then I poked a finger through the curtains once more to take another quick look. Then I was retracting my hand to my chest, letting the curtains fall shut again.

...yeah, no. Pretending like I was performing for a nudist colony? Not helping.

Now I was only nervous and blushing. Just dandy.

A hand suddenly clapped down on my shoulder, making me jolt and swallow a small yelp.

"Don't worry, you'll be great!" someone whispered next to me. I turned my head to see Tiana smiling brightly at me, looking stunning in her poofy, sparkly Glinda dress with her hair done up in lustrous curls. "Break a leg."

It took a second for my brain to catch up and remember that that was an old theater saying for wishing me luck.

Oh gosh, were we… bonding? I wasn't quite sure, I didn't know what it looked like. Everyone here had always been nice enough to me, of course, but it's not like we interacted all that much outside of rehearsals, not really. I'd been getting slightly better with this whole human interaction thing, but I still wasn't exactly big on the concept. I didn't know what to do with this newfound showman camaraderie.

...at the very least, I should reciprocate, right?

As she moved off to get onto her floating platform that she was supposed to make her grand entrance on at the start of the show, I quietly but hastily called after her, "You, uh… y-you too! Break both of them! And… and an arm as well!" Wait, what? "In fact, I'll break them all for you and-"

Both my hands shot up to gag myself.

For the love of… Learn to quit while your ahead, you stupid useless mouth!

Breathing a muffled sigh into my fingers, I slowly lowered my hands as I glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall. The minutes were ticking by far too quickly. My body was practically vibrating with all the nervous energy coursing through it and not for the first time, I seriously considered making a break for it. I knew where the back exit was to this place and I'd been left unsupervised. Really, that was just asking for trouble. Everyone should know by now what a goddamn friggin' flight risk I was!

I pushed that oh so appealing thought to the back of my mind however, locking it up and throwing away the key. A distraction… that's what I needed right now! But where to find such a thing…?

I looked to the heavy velvet curtain once more, pausing for a few heartbeats.

You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now, but…

Yet again, I nudged it open a smidge to peek out.

It only took me a few seconds to spot them in the audience, third row from the front and slightly towards the right. Lea, Roxas, and Xion, chatting and laughing about something. Lea abruptly got Roxas in a headlock and started mussing up his hair while Xion just cackled. I hid a tiny grin behind my fingers as I watched Rayne reach across Xion, using her playbill pamphlet to swat at Lea's elbow trying to get him to stop manhandling Roxas.

This was what I'd needed to soothe me. To look out into that sea of people and see the faces of those I cared about.

To Rayne's right, Riku just read his own playbill and wisely stayed out of the mini-brawl that'd broken out. Then next to him were Anna and Kristoff. My sister was currently making a silly face as she took a selfie of the two of them, while he sported a goofy smile and couldn't seem to take his eyes off her.

Yes, exactly what I'd needed. One look at Lea, Roxas, Xion, Rayne, Riku, Anna, Kristoff, and my parents already had me feeling so much-

Wait…

Run that list by me again?

Lea, Roxas, Xion, Rayne, Riku, Anna, Kristoff, and-

I gasped, the curtain escaping my grasp and slipping back into place.

No, no, no, what were they doing here?! They shouldn't be here! They couldn't be here! There had to be some mistake! I must have been seeing things, it must have just been some… some trick of the light! Yeah, that had to be it! All I had to do was pull the curtain aside again and see for myself that it was just some other older couple who looked ridiculously rich, ridiculously out of place, and ridiculously uncomfortable.

Swallowing hard, I tentatively reached for that thick velvet fabric once more, parting it by an inch.

...fudge. No question about it. That was definitely and without a doubt... my parents.

I released the curtains once more, frowning. A few seconds ticked by. Then I poked them to one side again.

Nope. Still there. Still them.

...maybe I should try closing and opening the curtains one more time?

Zip it, brain, you're not helping!

This just… this didn't make any sense! What were they even doing here?!

My anxious eyes darted over a couple seats from them to where Anna was still in selfie mode, finger hooked in her mouth to flash her gums while she stuck out her tongue and crossed her eyes.

My eyelids drooped.

Why that little…

I dashed over to the dressing rooms, snatching my phone out of the locker I was using for my personal items before rushing back over to the curtains, fingers furiously tapping out a text message as I went.

I will END you.

Annnnnnnd send.

Sneaking a glimpse out into the audience once more, I watched as Anna suddenly went very rigid, face pale and wide eyes locked on her phone screen. Then, as if she could sense my icy death glare on her, she looked up and directly at the tiny gap in the curtains through which I was peering. I swiped a finger slowly across my throat. She quite visibly gulped, gaze darting over to our parents. Oh yes. She knew exactly why I was going to murder her. Then her thumbs were a blur as they started tapping at her phone. I felt mine vibrate in my hands and I glanced down at it.

it wsnt me i swear thy just showd up id nevr do that 2 u plz dont kll me i luv u and thnk ur so so pretty

As she then proceeded to spam me with various heart and kiss emojis, a crease formed between my eyebrows and I looked to the crowd once more. My parents wouldn't have known to come on their own, so someone had to have told them.

If not Anna, then who…?

My gaze landed on another certain redhead, currently snickering as his fingers ruffled his hair.

...oh-ho, he wouldn't have much left to snicker about by the time I was through with him.

Glancing to my phone once more, I swapped over to my text conversation with Lea and started typing.

Left backstage door. Now.

I watched long enough to see him pull out his phone, quirk an eyebrow as he read my message, then hop up to his feet to make his way towards the requested rendezvous point. I ran behind stage, turning down a hallway and descending the steps leading to the other side of that same door. As I pulled it open a crack to peer out, I could see Lea standing there with his back to me, hands shoved into his pockets as he idly rocked on his feet while waiting. The audience murmur was dying down as the lights began to dim, indicating the show was about to start. That was okay, that still gave me roughly ten more minutes before I had to be on stage.

More than enough time to hide the body when I was through with my meddling boyfriend.

"Psssst," I hissed to get his attention, opening the door wider.

Lea spun around, took one look at me and snerked, both hands coming up to cup over his mouth. His eyes crinkled as he seemed to take a second to compose himself. Then in a whisper that shook with barely contained laughter, he said, "I'm sorry, but you make… the cutest teenage mutant ninja turtle."

Not wanting to disturb the audience as the first notes of the play's music started up, I simply rolled my eyes, grabbed him by the front of the shirt and yanked him through the door, letting it fall shut behind him.

He stumbled into me, his hands immediately going to my hips as he smirked down the few inches that separated us. "Mmm, so that's what this is? Need me to help you work off some of those pre-show jitters, huh? Wouldn't think you'd have the time to squeeze in a lil makeout sesh, but if you insist…" He gently pressed me up against the wall, pinning my body there with his. Ducking his head down, his lips found my throat as he murmured, "I'll admit, I am pretty curious to find out just how far down this green goes…"

I shivered as his kisses down my neck left a warm tingle in their wake.

...reason…

There'd been a reason I'd wanted to see him, and this wasn't it.

...unless… was it?

Wait! No! Focus, Elsa, focus! I'd wanted to talk to him about, uh… about my, uh…

"Parents!" I breathed out at last, regaining some semblance of thought as I cleared my throat. "It was you who invited my parents here, wasn't it?"

He stilled against my neck. Then he was straightening back up once more and I had to choke back a laugh. Thanks to my body paint, his mouth had now taken on a lovely shade of emerald. "Maybe… who wants to know?" he asked with a playful shrewdness. I narrowed my eyes up at him, to which he grinned, "No seriously, who? I can't tell which one you're supposed to be. Donatello? Raphael?"

"Bold of you to mock someone who's has intimate knowledge of all your weak points," I deadpanned, poking him in the side where I knew he was ticklish. He yelped and squirmed. Ah, sweet sweet vengeance. I then released a grumbling sigh. "...I told you not to tell them."

Lea struck up a finger, "Correction: you told Anna not to tell them. You never said a word about what I myself should or shouldn't do."

"But I said I didn't want them here!" I shot back, mindful to still keep my voice low.

"Did ya though?" he cocked an eyebrow at me. My hand shot out for his ticklish spot again, but he caught it with a triumphant, "Ha! But no really, you didn't. You did however give me an impressive list of excuses as to why you assumed they wouldn't wanna come."

"Because they wouldn't!" I pressed. But then I hesitated, averting my gaze before muttering, "...or rather… I thought they wouldn't." I shook my head. "...what did you even say to them?"

His shoulders gave a small shrug. "Nothing much, I don't even remember really. But cliff notes version? Something along the lines of how important this was to you and if they ever hoped to have even so much as a snowball's chance in hell of being a part of your life ever again, it'd be important to them too."

My face twisted sourly. It was kind of getting hard to stay mad at him. Especially when I had to keep staring at those toad-lips of his. But damned if I wasn't going to try. "So what, you expect me to believe you just called them up and-"

"Oh," he chuckled and shook his head, "no, I didn't call. I mean, I tried to at first, but only got as far as leaving a message with the butler. So figured, hell, got several hours to kill before curtain time... why not take a lil road trip?"

I stared at him, eyes growing round. "Oh no."

Lea beamed, "Oh yes! We had quite the pleasant chat, your folks and I. In the... Jasmine Room I believe it was this time. It was nice. Cozy. There was even tea."

A quiet snort escaped me now as my expression softened, reaching a hand up to touch his cheek. "...that was a very sweet, not to mention a very stupid and overstepping thing to do."

"If by 'stupid and overstepping' you mean 'brilliant and endearing,' then you and I are in total and one hundred percent agreement," one side of his mouth quirked. He then puffed out a smug, lofty sigh, "What can I say, I just can't help being so awesome. Try not to swoon while in the presence of the awe-inspiring greatness that is yours truly."

I gave him a blank look. "Your lips are green."

He blinked, removing one hand from my waist to poke at his lips before pulling his fingertip away to discover it was now a delightful lime color. Then he flashed his dimple, "You say that like it isn't just another example of my awesomeness."

Biting back a small smile, I idly smoothed a thumb at the corner of his mouth. "I will say I am rather fond of the way it brings out the color of your eyes."

"Now ya gone and done it," he hugged me more tightly against him. "This moment right here? You remember it good. Now when I go and start making green lipstick my new aesthetic, just remember that it's all thanks to you telling me that."

"...fudge."

He snerked before leaning his face in closer to mine now, his breath warming my lips as he whispered, "Now whaddya say to me laying some sweet green sugar on ya, babydoll?"

I spluttered in amusement, clamping a hand over his mouth before he could finish closing the distance. "And risk you ruining my makeup even further? I don't think so. Besides, I should get back, I'm sure I must be due on stage any minute."

Pulling his face free of my grasp, he now rested his forehead to mine and nuzzled our noses together. "C'mon, you're fine. One lil smooch or two won't hurt any-"

A sudden loud, ominous crackle filled the air. We both turned our heads to discover now standing at the top of the stairs was a certain assistant director with a homicidal gleam in her eye as she held up a sparking taser. Larxene shut it off, gravely intoning, "Oh you miserable little man. How shall I fry thy lame-o ass for trespassing backstage? Let me count the ways." The taser buzzed with electricity once more.

"Gottarunbabeknock'emdeadoutthere," Lea blurted out, planting a swift peck to my forehead before bolting out the door back to audience seating so fast, you'd have missed if you'd blinked.

Leaving me to face the walking, talking electrocution chair in human form all on my own.

Gee thanks, Lea. So brave. So valiant. My hero.

The big, fat chicken.

I gulped, licking my dry lips and squaring my shoulders. "Larxene, I-"

"Will you just go get ready for your cue?" she huffed, stepping aside and gesturing with the taser for me to get a move on. "I'll chew you out after the show."

Releasing a small breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding, I nodded and ran up the steps past her. As I snatched up and put on my prop glasses, picked up the student briefcase to complete my costume and got into position just offstage, I saw that it was almost time for me to make my entrance. It was just now hitting me that I'd been so distracted by having my little chat with Lea that I'd missed out on precious panicking time. As if my body were trying to make up for it all at once, my heart rate abruptly skyrocketed, blood rushed in my ears and my knees trembled.

But beneath it all was also the teeniest flash of giddiness.

This was it.

There was no time left for freaking out or worrying about what could go wrong or stressing out about my parents being in the audience.

I tensed as I heard my cue, hesitating for a beat.

There was no time left for anything except to just go out there and get on with it.

So I did. I drew in a deep breath and took that first step out onto the stage.

I will never forget those first five minutes.

Everything about it had just been so… different. Being a lead had made it all different. The warmth radiating from the stage lights above had been different. The hush from an auditorium packed with people had been different. Even the very air itself as I'd breathed it into my lungs had felt different.

Those first five minutes would stay with me forever until the day I died. Because those five minutes had been undeniably and without question…

...the absolute worst experience of my whole life.

I'd tripped and stumbled over my own two feet. I'd forgotten simple stage directions. I hadn't talked loud enough at first. When I finally did speak up, I'd stammered through half my lines and completely skipped over others all together. At one point, I'd even accidentally said somebody else's line for them.

It'd been terrible. Simply awful. Literally a nightmare. One I was pretty sure I'd had before. One I'd kept praying to wake up from but never did. I'd wanted to run off the stage. Just flee into the night and never look back. Every last molecule of my being had been all but screaming at me to do so.

But I didn't.

Somehow - and I'm still to this day not quite sure how exactly - I'd stuck it out. I stood fast and stubbornly soldiered through it. And I'm so glad I did.

Because waiting at the end of those infernal five minutes had been my first song.

From the second those opening musical notes filled the air and hit my eardrums, everything had changed. My body began to relax as the tension eased bit by bit. For that tune had reminded me why I was here. That this is something I really, really wanted to do. Had dreamed of doing ever since I was a little girl. Suddenly it no longer mattered that there was an audience out there. It didn't matter that all eyes were on me.

All that mattered was pouring my heart into my song and giving it my all.

After that, everything suddenly seemed to just click. I knew where to go. I knew what to do. I knew what to say as clearly as if I'd had the script on a teleprompter in front of me the whole time that only I could see. I was no longer scared little Elsa trying and failing miserably at playing a role. I was that role. I was Elphaba.

And it was amazing.

Perfect, in fact.

Before long, I was singing my last song with Glinda. Before long, I was making my final exit offstage with the Scarecrow as the curtains closed behind us. Before long, I was stepping out with the rest of the cast to take our bows before the applauding crowd. And before long, it was all over and I was descending down the steps into the audience area…

...where I was immediately all but tackled to the ground by Anna, Rayne, and Xion in a vicious group hug.

"Guys, if you were trying to squeeze the life out of me, you've succeeded," I wheezed, trying to wriggle free. "It's done. There's no life left in me. Now for the love of all that is good and oxygenated, let go!"

Thankfully they released me. Ah, blessed, blessed air, how I missed thee. Xion was the first to pipe up with, "Oh my god, Elsa! You were fantastic! I had no idea you were gonna be so good!"

"Good?! Please," Anna scoffed before grabbing me by the shoulders to excitedly shake me, "Sis, you crushed it!"

"My precious bab is gonna grow up to be a star!" Rayne bawled, pinching both my cheeks.

Baby hormones. Don't mind her.

Pulling my face free of her fingers, I humored them with a shy smile. "You're all very sweet, but it's okay. There's no need to exaggerate."

Anna narrowed her eyes over a grin, "Please, don't even try to give us that BS. You were phenomenal and you know it!"

I gave her a flat look. "Oh yeah, so phenomenal. Especially those first few minutes."

"Shhhh," Xion pressed a finger to my lips with a smirk. "We pretend those minutes don't exist."

A throat cleared, causing the girls to turn and part to reveal the other half of their little group, aka the boys. Lea was front and center, one corner of his lips (oh dear lord, they were still the color of grass) twitching up as he stepped forward with a colorful bouquet in hand.

I fought a losing battle to suppress my growing smile as I took the flowers from him, not failing to notice the winter honeysuckle sprinkled into the mix. Crinkling my eyes up at him, I teased, "What a totally outdated and unnecessary gesture… thanks, I hate it."

"Liar," he snorted, slipping a hand around my waist as he pressed his lips to my hair. "Way to own that stage. I mean it, El. You kicked some serious ass up there."

Anna shook her head with a soft giggle, "That's what we were trying to tell her!"

"But the goob doesn't know how to take a compliment," Rayne tsked, flicking my forehead.

"What? C'mon, don't play coy. You know you were pure awesome incarnate, way better than that other chick that usually plays her," Lea booped his fingertip to my nose.

I suddenly felt very grateful that I was still caked in body paint. All the better to hide my blush with, my dear. I scrunched up my nose and averted my gaze, "You're just saying that because you're biased."

"Oh, one hundred percent. But doesn't make it any less true!" he chirped.

I rolled my eyes.

Time for a topic change.

"Your lips are still green."

Hey, I never said anything about it being a particularly good topic change.

"And this surprises you how? I already told ya, babycakes, this is my new brand. Speaking of, time to apply a fresh coat!" And with that, he began smothering me from temple to cheek to jaw in kisses. I squirmed, smacking him with the bouquet.

"Anyone else up for a late dinner?" Riku chimed in as he joined his wife at her side, hugging an arm around her shoulders and nuzzling her cheek before turning his gaze on me. "You must be starved after blowing away the whole audience like that."

Oh gosh, if one more person complimented me, I fear I might explode. I'd never been built to handle so much attention and praise. It made me uncomfortable and I never knew how to respond, nor did I really want it. All I'd ever wanted to was to simply put on what was hopefully at least a halfway decent show.

As the others rumbled in agreement about finding somewhere to eat that'd still be open this late, I nodded as well, "Just… give me a moment to get changed and clean off all this green."

"No no, my sweet, leave it on… for later," Lea cooed into my ear, waggling his eyebrows.

A huff of a laugh escaped me. "Now you're just making it weird."

Eyes dancing, his mouth opened to retort but before he could make so much as a sound, somebody else was interjecting with, "Pardon us."

I inhaled sharply, my spine snapping ramrod straight at that voice.

Crud, I'd completely forgotten that they were here.

Our whole group suddenly fell very quiet as all eyes turned to a nearby couple standing uncertainly off to one side, watching us all warily.

My parents.

Looking just as uncomfortable and out of place as they had before the show.

As they tentatively began to approach, Roxas and Kristoff shifted to make space for them. Their eyes settled on me at first before briefly flicking over towards Lea, who still had his arms wrapped tightly around me with seemingly zero intention of removing them, propriety be damned. I had to resist the very strong urge to clap my hand over his minty lips, abruptly very aware of the fact that that was probably what'd drawn my parents' fleeting focus to him. Thankfully, they made no comment. I'm not even sure what I would have said if they had.

Looking to me once more, Mother was finally the first to break the silence that somehow felt like it'd already been going for absolute centuries. "Elsa," she began but paused, an unsure frown in place as she seemed to search for the right words. "...you... did very well."

"Yes," Father lifted his chin slightly, the epitome of stiff politeness. "The show was… adequately entertaining."

I felt Lea's muscles go rigid beside me, could see his nostrils flaring out of the corner of my eye. I was quick to place a hand to his chest, speaking up before he could. "Th-thanks… Thank you very much," I told them softly with a small bow of my head.

They looked like they may have wanted to say more, but apparently seemed to think better of it. Instead, Father went with, "It's late. We best be off."

"See you back at home," Mother told Anna, reaching over a hand to lightly brush at her cheek. My sister's eyes darted from her over to me, then back. Then she just gave a tiny nod and said nothing as our parents turned and left.

Once they were out those double doors at the far end of the auditorium, Lea grumbled, "'Adequately entertaining' my ass… what was that bullshit?"

My gaze still on where they'd exited, a slow smile spread across my lips. "That was them trying," I murmured, glancing up at him. "I think maybe I'll give them a call tomorrow."

Author's Note: Ha! You didn't SERIOUSLY think I'd include "Wicked" in this and not let Elsa get to play the role of Elphaba, did you?! For those of you who don't know, Elsa's voice actress Idina Menzel is also famous for being Elphaba in the musical "Wicked"! So of course I couldn't let El's talents be wasted in the chorus for the entire show… our ice queen bab got her time to shine! And if how Elsa came around to getting to play the part sounds possibly far fetched, it's not as much of a stretch at it might seem! I did some research into it and it's true: it's very common in community theater to not have understudies, so if someone gets sick or otherwise can't perform, often the first place they'll look for a replacement is in the chorus! Side note: I for some reason took WAY too much joy in my stupid lil Snow White and food poisoning reference, don't ask me why xD In any case, El got to do one or two more shows as Elphaba (basically finished out that specific weekend's showings) before Snow White was feeling well enough to resume the role. But Elsa definitely had a blast and is eager to hopefully get a bigger part in whatever show her community theater decides to put on next! As for her folks, don't get me wrong, they're still in the dog house and won't be off the hook for a while yet, but the olive branch has been extended, a shaky truce has been formed and an awkward phone call is now made from time to time… for now xD Also - and this won't be any time soon, mind you - but I might have to go back at some point and write out another brief one-shot just for Lea's lil visit with El's folks where he "politely" (ha!) invited them to the show xD

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

Be back for next week's bonus chapter! In which there will be… BELLS! Do these bells have any particular significance to the plot of next chapter? Or are they just a brief prop and a red herring for this author's note? Stay tuned!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

[eisforeidolon]

I feel the need to make another post about retcons then vs. now, and why I see them as so completely different.  Retcons in the earlier seasons were there to focus the story more on the main characters, enrich the stories of the main characters, or occasionally spackle over a plothole to make entire arc plots work.  Retcons in these last few seasons have been out of laziness, fanservice, and have created brand new plotholes that don’t add anything beyond facilitating some individual episode’s events.

In season 5, when Lucifer is possessing Sam, he shows him a bunch of demons that have been following him his entire life.  This does not fit with previous canon very well - before the apocalypse, Bobby heard about 3-4 demon possessions, tops (per year).  Since Azazel did not know Sam was The Special Child, presumably all the other kids should have had demon watchers, too.  Now, while they probably needed less because they moved around less, that’s still quite a lot of demons to be causing no notable havoc considering what we know of demons.  In the scene, though?  I wasn’t thinking about that, because the whole scene is built around Lucifer’s plotting and Sam’s horror and things that are fundamental to the main story arc and fundamentally affecting to a main character.

Same with the whole retcon of the special children storyline turning into the Winchesters being vessels.  In the end, it works for the story because it serves the purpose of turning the trajectory from a horror story that happened to feature Sam to a story that was entirely centered on both brothers and their bond, since Kripke & Co. had realized that was the real core of the story.  While this was more noticeable while it was happening, it was in obvious service of the show as a whole moving forward.

Compare that to this latest nonsense that makes Sister Jo & Ruby retconned buddies.  It’s not about Sam and Dean at all, or the ongoing main plot (whatever that is).  It’s not in service of the story in any fundamental way since it could easily be pawned off on another character or simply skipped entirely to have Cas find out from Ruby in the Empty anyway.  Yet from what I’ve osmosed, it’s a whole pack of retcons slapped haphazardly together, with Jo on Earth being a faith healer pre-apocalypse which didn’t happen until after the angels fell, and mentioning the archangels circling their vessels that didn’t happen until after Ruby was dead.  It has Ruby buddy buddy with an angel when she described them as horrific cosmic forces she was afraid of and didn’t want to be around when she was alive.  Why?  To cater to the type of fans who repeatedly ask about the wives and kids at cons who would get a happy from seeing Gen Ruby and Danneel Sister Jo on screen together.  That’s literally the only reason I can see for it.  It’s not about the main characters.  It’s not about the main story.  It serves no purpose other than to say, lol, lookit what we can arbitrarily do for shits and giggles, neat huh?  Thanks, I hate it.

[finestfenwick]

“I can’t believe they would’ve promoted some bitch over you. You seem fit, mate.” 

Benjy raises his eye brows and raises his shot in thanks before he downs it. The meeting the day before with O'Donnell and Scamander had gone as well as it could. O’Donnell had sent word to Benjy via a Niffler that had ransacked his cover apartment to meet him at the White Wyvern for drinks. Benjy was in edge at first, worried about running into friends or Merlin forbid, Cassiel Avery, but the Nifflers occupied a booth in the back corner and didn’t seem keen on talking to anyone except the casual working girl.

The ‘bitch’ in question was none other than Amelia Bones. That was one of the reasons behind his cover-he was pissed off that Amelia ranked higher than him.  It was laughable, really-anyone who knew anything about how the Aurory worked knew that Amelia had more than enough seniority to rank above him. It let Benjy know just how foolish the people he was dealing with were-and it was a type of foolishness that made them dangerous.

“I mean, I could’ve shagged my way to the top too but er, the boss is too beardy for my taste.” 

This causes a round of laughter from O’Donnell, Stuart and the man introduced to Benjy as simply ‘Nim’. The name would’ve been laughable save for the fact that the man’s biceps where bigger than Benjy’s thighs and his skin was absolutely littered in tattoos-including a familiar one of a snake eating a skull.

Gaining their trust was proving to be easy. Maybe too easy. Benjy was still being cautious, but it was getting harder and harder with every shot he took. It was scary, in a way, how easily he fit in with men like this. A wrong turn here, a point lower on his auror entrance exam here-this false identity could very easily be Benjy’s reality.

He was suddenly very, very glad he wasn’t.

“Anyhow-” He continues, instantly gaining his party’s full attention again. “-I finally called them on their bullshit after they gave her yet another case she wasn’t nearly smart enough to solve-I sort of knew who’d done it anyhow, I’d considered getting into it with him like I am now with you lot, but he wasn’t any good-”

“Was it Avery?” Stuart cuts in. Benjy has never met someone who better personifies the word ‘Beady’ before. “-that fucker’s scary.”

Benjy nods offhandedly. “Can’t really say, but I’d er-prefer not to get mixed up with him if I could avoid it.”

O’Donnell snorts. “Lookit you, talking all proper and shit still. You might fit in better with Avery with words like that, mate. He thinks he’s too good for us. Too busy shagging that one bitch anyhow-whatshername?”

“Zazzi.” Stuart supplies. Nim nods. 

“Yeah. It’s either that bitch or whoever’ll pay him more.”

Benjy snorts. “You familiar with his rates, then? Intimately so?”

The other two howl with laughter but O’Donnell glares at him.

“Watch yourself.”

Benjy holds up his hands in mock surrender, but makes a mental note. Avery and ‘Zazzi’ are not involved, not heavily at least. That doesn’t really tell him too much-though both of them had rumors of ties to the DE they’d never be as obvious as dear old Nim. All it let Benjy know is that another criminal he was aware of didn’t have ties with this organization-and that was probably better for him, given how his ties to Avery were not all strictly business related. He pushes the memory of Cleona finding the baggie in his medicine cabinet out of his mind.

“I kid, I kid. But yeah, it was a case that I knew I could solve, and they didn’t give it to me because they’re more concerned about looking good. I’d about had it then. I tried to keep it civil at first but pretty soon we were screaming at each other. The pussy they gave me for a partner held me back from hexing the stupid bitch, but fucking Crouch broke it up pretty fast after that. Put me on ‘indefinite leave.’” Benjy scoffs. They’d done it all, just as he’d said, with Amelia wishing him luck again under her breath as Crouch and Moody and Kingsley had dragged him off. They had to make as much of this real as they could.

“Which you know, is just horseshit. They can’t fire me because ‘Ex-Qudditch Hero leaves Auror Force in shame’ doesn’t sound good at the moment, but now-” Benjy raises his glass, which magically filled when he’d finished the last shot.

“They’re gonna regret everything.”

~~ 

Several shots later, Benjy is fuzzy. He hadn’t been this drunk since his birthday-which really, wasn’t so long ago. Absentmindedly, he brushes his hand through his hair to touch the back of the diamond stud in his ear. Her diamond stud.

Cleona.

He ached to think of her-how angry and hurt she must be. It’d been about a week now-she had to know. The octopus in his pocket pressed up against his leg, as if one queue, warms. She knew he was thinking about her, that he was missing her, and it seemed that at least to some level, that sentiment was returned.

I love you. I’m sorry

He’s so engrossed in thinking-thinking properly if that were even a thing when it came to whatever it was that his girlfriend could do, that he doesn’t realize he was being spoken to until Nim slaps his knee. Hard.

“Sorry?”

“You like what you see?” O’Donnell leers, nodding his head towards one of the sex workers lingering nearby. She had dyed red hair that slightly resembled that of Lily, the new receptionist in the office and for one wild second, Benjy thought it might be her-as if Crouch or Moody would put a civilian undercover just to get him a message. But closer inspection reveals this woman is a little older-and harder. More than likely she’d seen some shit. 

“She’s fit, yeah.” Benjy says non nonchalantly, sipping on the beer he’d barely touched all night. 

“You want her? You’ve got her.”

Shit. Shit shit shit shit. Normally-well not normally, before Cleona, he wouldn’t have thought twice about something like this, anything to maintain the cover. Benjy realizes right then that he never should’ve been allowed to go undercover. He had a weakness now, and her name was tattooed on his fucking hip. 

“Nah, mate, thanks. But uh-I can’t afford her.” O’Donnell just waves his hand dismissively.

“Think of it was a welcome present. Me and the lads got other business to attend to anyway. I like your style, Fenwick. You’ll be hearing from me shortly.” He winks at Benjy before shouting across the bar.

“Beatrix! Commere.” 

She pulls herself away from the group and bounds over. She would’ve been his type a few years ago, even with the edge her profession had given her-but Benjy didn’t have a type so much as a person now, and the thought of betraying her-He can feel his heart beat pick up in his chest.

“Can I help you, love?” She purrs, eyeing all of them with false interest. Her green eyes sweep the four of them. O’Donnell hands her a little bag of gold.

“This is Benjy. Get to know him, on me.” 

As the other three get up to leave, Beatrix grabs Benjy’s wrist and pulls him out of the booth.

“You ready to have fun, love?”

“Um-”

Her lips are on his before Benjy can stop her, and instinctively he kisses her back, following her lead out into the alley, the kisses getting sloppier and sloppier as they stumble out the door. It’s far too wet and Benjy’s pretty sure she licks his cheek at one point. Not exactly a turn on-not that he wanted one anyway.

“Well, he paid for the works so-”

Beatrix is on her knees now, and Benjy stiffens when her hands find his zipper. She looks up at him, confused, groping his barely there erection through the jeans under his robes.

“What’s the matter? Need a little help?”

“Uh, no, not quite-”

Benjy tries to smile, but now Beatrix is getting handsy. He leaps back away from her as if she had shocked him. This has to stop.

“What the hell? What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m gay.”

It slips out before he can stop himself and Beatrix cocks her head to the side to look up at him. 

“Really?”

“...yeah. But I-I’d apperciate it if you know, you didn’t uhm, make it known to O’Donnell-”

She brushes him off, gesturing with her hands to help her up. Benjy does, making sure she’s steady on her high heels before letting go.

“I already got paid-more than I was expecting tonight at that-I’m going home to the bath, who or what you do or don’t do is your business, love.”

She pats him once on the cheek.

“Too bad though-we could’ve had some fun.”

Beatrix gives him a smile before turning to disappear on the spot. Benjy all but collapses against the building. The familiar loathing creeps up, as it often does when he doesn’t do something the way he’s supposed to, but the relief, the knowledge that he didn’t do anything undo-able, is far greater. A quick glance around the alley reveals him to be alone and Benjy decides to risk it. He pulls the Octopus-Hugo-out of his pocket and smiles at it softly. He wants to cry but he can’t let himself get there-he can’t miss her too much, or he’d be utterly useless. 

Benjy runs a finger down the back of the creature, and he’s so enraptured by the warmth he receives back a few seconds later that he fails to notice Nim, lurking near the entry to the bar, watching him carefully.

[seaside-stories]

Too Close for Comfort?

(Tw: language) Prompt: “There’s people chasing us and I pulled you into the alley with me and wow you’re close” I changed it to be from the reverse perspective (lol whoops talk about not reading) but if y’all (who am I talking to there are like 3 of you) want it from the other perspective I can write that part. About 1600 words. Characters: James Chance, Logan Cole, Mark Garrett, Kira Garrett, Claire Richards, Isabel Kennedy, Scott Hayes.

They were out on a mission tonight. Objective: bust a huge drug deal without getting caught by anyone, and taking down the offenders. Easier said than done.

James ran down an alley nearby where they were supposed to be ambushing. Logan had the one right next to his. The building where the deal was happening was in the middle. On the other side was Mark, and then another alley over was Scott. On top of the building was Isabel. They were all in position and were listening to Claire and Kira on their comms.

“Lookit all those crackheads…” Mark mused into the comms. Scott snickered. James saw them, though. Two were coming from the front, one from the side he was on, and another from the back. There were probably more that he couldn’t see.

“About 20, I think,” Kira responded.

“Knowing would be better than thinking,” Isabel said.

There was a moment of silence. Then Kira spoke again. “Sorry, there are 21 expected to arrive by 11. It’s 10:57, so they still have three minutes. I was just checking. I didn’t want to tell you anything for sure than what’s correct.”

James smiled. She was always going back and correcting herself, whether out of spite or self-deprecation.

“It’s okay to be a bit off,” James told her.

“But not ideal,” Claire cut in. “There are 3 dealers and 18 buyers, according to our intel.”

“Who cares about ideal…” James trailed off, glancing at his watch. It was 10:59. A minute to go.

“The mission cares about ideal, James.” Isabel chastised his careless tone.

“Yeah, but it’s impossible to be perfect all the time. Everyone makes mistakes. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t make mistakes.”

Isabel was silent. James glanced down at his watch again. 10:59. Everyone held their breath and counted down.

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

Go time.

“Logan, Mark, go to your second position,” Claire instructed. James saw Logan come out of the alley and run towards the warehouse. He stopped when he got there and gave Mark a boost onto the fire escape. They both climbed up to the second floor and climbed through the window. James hoped he could listen to Logan talk without imagining something he shouldn’t

There were a few moments of silence. Then, there was a beep in the comm letting James know a new channel had been opened.

“Audio feed of what’s going on inside is on channel 2, thanks to Mark,” Kira informed. James switched channels for a moment.

“Which one of you motherfuckers is a snitch?” James heard a gruff voice.

“I’ll bet you never heard ‘snitches get stitches’? Or ‘snitches are bitches’?” Another voice said

“Who end up in ditches,” A third voice added with a chuckle.

“Don’t you laugh.” The first voice said. “This whole damn place is surrounded. Y’all don’t think we’re getting out with fucking anything tonight, do ya?”

“I should hope not,” Logan’s voice came strong and cold. James could see it in his mind’s eye. A crowd of men (and probably women too) all turning to look at Logan and Mark.

A few scoffs could be heard.

“You and that kid’re gonna stop us?” The first voice said. A pause.

“Hopefully, yes. We don’t want a violent fight, so it’d be better if we could negotiate. We both know we don’t want the police here, for starters.”

“Y’all ain’t the police?”

“Fuck the police,” Mark said not-so-under his breath. There were a few snickers. James could imagine Mark was going to get a talking to about his choice words, but it was a part of the plan. They were supposed to emphasize their distaste with the police.

“No, we aren’t,” Logan told him.

“Okay,” The first voice said. “Say we don’t wanna hand our shit over. Then what?”

“That’s when it gets dirty. We don’t want that unless you do.” There was the sound of Logan dropping down to the first floor. Mark followed suit.

“I think we’d all appreciate it if you made this easy.”

“Hold it a minute,” The third voice said. “What’s the kid got to say? I’m sure you didn’t drag him into this, right?”

There was silence. Everyone was nervous. Mark wouldn’t botch the mission on purpose, of course, but what he did by accident was out of their control. A very quiet “Garrett?” was heard from Logan before Mark spoke.

“I don’t really have anything to say. I don’t think what you’re doing is right, and that’s why I…we’re here. We’re better than the police, and y’all know that.” Mark said. There was an almost-silent sound. That sound was the sound of a hand on a weapon. The tension in the air thickened.

“But, I won’t tell you that you can escape the law completely if you go with what we ask.” Mark continued. He spoke slowly, so Mark assumed that Kira or Claire was feeding him information as he spoke. “We’ll only take those of you who have drugs on you right now if you make this easy. If you decide to make this difficult, we’ll try and get all of you, and the consequences will be much worse.”

“Thanks, kiddie.” The second voice said. There was a sound like a clap on the shoulder. Mark inhaled sharply. “But I don’t think we’re just going to hand you our shit.”

James switched back to the main comm channel. The first sound he heard was multiple people breathing heavily.

“Get ready, everyone. It’s about to be the bad kind of ‘go time’,” Kira warned.

There was a gunshot, and then about a dozen figures started running in James’ general direction. He saw a few running parallel to his alley get caught by Isabel, who was standing on the building.

James started running towards the warehouse. He tightened his grip on his gun. It wasn’t a killing gun, but it would paralyze you for a good long while. James was very confused when he almost fell over. Someone had grabbed his wrist. They pulled him close and changed their grip to his collar area. The someone turned out to be Logan. And they were now less than a foot apart from each other.

“What the hell?” James asked. Logan slapped a hand over his mouth and shushed him. He motioned with his head down the alley, where James was sure there were more people with guns. Guns that kill you, not just paralyze.

“Okay guys, Isabel is pretty sure she got the dealers, so you guys can go ahead and leave the area when it’s safe and we’ll pick you guys up at the rendezvous point,” Claire said. The comm turned on and then off like someone was about to speak but thought better of it. James was willing to bet it was Kira.

James focused his attention back on the task at hand. He was chest to chest with Logan, and there were people with guns. James had thought about what it would be like to be chest to chest with Logan, but not like this. He thought it would be in a more…romantic setting.

“Jesus, you’re close,” James breathed. He looked down the alley and saw two figures standing. He figured that they didn’t have anything, so getting them to run was better than having them stay.

James fired a shot at the wall behind him. He felt Logan give a start and make a noise of surprise. The two figures ran, and they were alone.

They were both breathing hard, and neither wanted to move. Logan was the first to speak.

“What the hell was that for? You could have gotten us killed!” Logan said exasperatedly.

“But I didn’t!” James countered. “And, I scared them off, didn’t I?”

They fell into silence again. Neither had moved. They were still inches apart. Just a few inches.

“Yeah, you did,” Logan said incredulously.

“I hope the others are okay,” James mused to fill the silence he knew was about to ensue.

“They probably are. We would have heard if they weren’t.” They fell into an awkward silence anyway. They stared at each other. If only Logan knew how much James wanted to–

It was as quick as snapping your fingers. James never pegged Logan as the type to be forward, but he was still the one who closed the distance. Logan’s lips on James’. They shifted to embrace each other and stayed in an embrace for what felt like forever. This is what James had been too scared to do, for fear of rejection. God, he felt so stupid not having done it sooner. It felt so good to finally be kissing Logan and to know that his feelings were returned.

James hadn’t realized he had tuned out the comms until he heard, “Go and check on Logan and James. They’re all gone, so I don’t know why they’re not back.” James didn’t register what had been said, so he didn’t move.

“Oh. Hey there,” Mark said, announcing his presence. James and Logan turned to look at him and scrambled to get away from each other.

“Mark! Hey,” Logan spoke first. “Great job back there.”

“Yeah, good job, chico. I was listening.” James added. Mark nodded his thanks.

“We should be getting back. Scott and Isabel are waiting.” Mark reminded them.

“Right. Yeah,” James said.

Despite not wanting anyone to know just yet about the little thing they had, James and Logan still held hands until they reached the rendezvous point.

[all-hallows-evie]

Episode II: Attack of the Clones

I'll go back and fix typos later!! Here we GOOOOOOOOOO!!

*Blows up the space latinx during the opening scene*

Me: Lucasfilm....you've grown.

Husband: No they haven't, they keep trying to blow Mando up

Me: But they HAVENT SUCEEDED YET!!

***

*is immature and laughs because the explosion blew off Cordès shoes. *

***

Obi wan: you're sweating

Husband: It's hot in here!

Me: and he's wearing like 17 layers!

***

Anakin: grown more beautiful

Obi wan: *rolls eyes*

Husband: Gag me with your lightsaber Anakin...wait, phrasing!

***

Obi wan: there's many ways to kill a senator.

Me: WAIT WHAT?!?!?

***

Husband: that droid pooped in Padmè's room and you can't convince me otherwise.

***

Obi Wan: *jumps out of window to grab droid*

Anakin: Stay here!

Me: Nah, I'm gonna jump out the window too, that looked fun.

***

Anakin: if this chase continues that creep is going to get deep fried.

Also Anakin: *brings down Zam's ship in flames, trying to in fact...deep fry them.*

***

Heeeeere comes Daddy Fett!! *dance dance*

***

Padmè: Anakin...you've grown up.

Anakin: *proceeds to throw a hissy*

***

Anakin: Don't worry, we have R2 with us.

Me: y'all laugh but he's killed people.

***

* Screams through all of the diner scene cuz I hate it so much* F**K YOU JAWA JUICE!!!

***

Also I dont like how Dex mentions Obi wants pocketbook, makes me feel like I need an adult.

***

Jocasta Nu will and has cut a bitch, fight me.

***

*pours one out for the younglings*

***

Wait wait, so the temple doesn't have some kind of IT department that lets them see who accessed the archives?!?!? That seems sus.

***

Padmè: when the queen asked me to serve as senator, I couldn't refuse.

Me: Her coke habit was too out of control.

Husband: Space coke.....s'coke...Supreme Chancellor S'coke...

***

Tawn we: we were beginning to think you weren't coming.

Me: Obi wan is ALWAYS...no wait, you know what. Thats too easy.

***

Anakin: I dont like sand.

Me & husband: *erupt into fits of laughter*

***

Ok but that record scratch when she pulls away is just...*chefs kiss*

***

*clone looks around suspiciously*

Me: YOU! YOU MUST BE F**CKING DOGMA!

***

Anakin: *falls off creature*

Husband: I love watching him just eat it. Would be funnier if he tried to scare Padmè then she knocks his ass out cold.

***

Boba: Yup.

Me: BEST BOY CAN DO NO WRONG

***

Taun we: if you need more soldiers it will take time.

Me: they can only j*ack Jango off so much in one day.

Husband: what the F**K did YOU just SAY?!?!?!?!

Me: *cackles*

Husband: Go home Evie, you are drunk.

***

*Jango and Obi wan fight on Kamino, jetpack explodes*

Husband: Damn, those jetpacks really are death traps!

***

Jango: *holding obi wan over the edge*

Husband: its fine he can just jetpack...oh.

***

*seismic charge goes off*

Me: F**K! THATS THE BEST SOUND EEEEVEEEER!!

***

Obi wan: Blast! This is why I hate flying!

Me: why, mandos always wrecking your shit?! Get good Kenobi!!!

Husband: He should try spinning!

***

Padmè: Stay with the ship R2.

Me: Fine! He didn't want to go with you anyway!

***

Anakin: These are good people Padmè, they will take care of you.

Husband: You dont wanna see what he's about to go do!

Me: Truth!!!!

***

Husband: *Drunkenly sings duel of the fates*

***

Husband: Can I just take this moment to say HOW MUCH I HATE GEONOSIS!

***

Four words: SIR CHRISTOPHER F**KING LEE

***

If Shmi was a Mexican mom, her last words would have been: "Why you so skinny mijo?"

***

It would have been funnier if Anakin returned covered in blood...like Evil Dead 2 levels of blood.

**

Anakin; the gear shift broke...

Husband: Does that mean he rode back only in first gear?!?!?

***

Anakin: I could fix her, I know I could!

Husband: unlike your hair...

***

Padmè: Anakin whats wrong?

Husband: Nothing, he didnt just go on a genocidal rampage. Let me present to you...the BIGGEST red flag.

***

Oh. The retransmit message button is just one button again?!?! Thats handy!

***

Anakin: master windu told me to stay here!

Husband: oh now he listens!

Me: Master Windu makes him do push ups when he talks back.

Husband: I said 'what' to Master Windu once and he slapped me.

***

Dooku: He was once my padawan as you were once his.

Husband: Grandpa Dooku

***

*LOTR jokes start to fly*

Husband: it doesnt help these came out right about the same time! This one has wizards...but in space!

***

Palpatine: as my first act,I will create a grand army of the republic.

Me: Okay cool but how do you feel about charter schools?

***

Husband: Just give R2 a shank and he can fix everything!

***

Anakin: oh no, Obi wan is going to kill me.

Me: But I'm ready for the trials!

Husband: He'll be fine as long as it doesn't involve taking care of your lightsaber.

***

Anakin: *to padme*: jump!

Me: Do a barrel roll!

***

Jango Fett: *twirls blasters*

Me: F**king showoff! I live!!!

***

Jango: *gets trampled*

Husband: Mandos seem to have a hard time around big creatures that look like mud horns.

***

*clones swoop in to help*

LOOKIT ALL THE SHINIES!

***

Obi wan: What would Padmè do in your position?

Me: BOOOOOY, she'd yeet you out that carrier SO FAST.

***

Obi wan: *gets tapped by Dookus saber*

Me: OOOOOOOW SUNNUVA BI*CH why didnt anyone tell me that HURTS?!?!?

***

OLD SPACE WIZARD FIIIIIGHT!!!

***

Bruh, that Imperial March at the end just...*tear rolls down cheek* Beautiful.

***

Husband: some smart ass decides to throw sand instead of rice at the wedding. Anakin loses his everloving s*it.

***

Not as many funny moments this time around. Halfway through we stopped to have turkey. We sober AF now lol!

[noctomania]

Story time

i don’t remember if I told this one. but i’m bored and was just thinking about it. I think about this interaction a lot for some reason. One time, about 2 years back, I had a friend come over because they and their friend were visiting from back home and we hadn’t talked since like elementary school. So we all ended up going out to a bar near their hotel before parting ways. While we were there at some point my friend and her friend were at the bar I believe they were waiting on drinks because I remember that the topic of their origin came up with this guy and couple of his friends at the bar. Somethin about this one dude in particular set me on edge. Perhaps his eagerness to talk to my friend. Which, sidenote I want to add: I knew she had a boyfriend and thus I assumed any creeps needed to be eyeballed especially. Also another side note: i am incredibly protective of my friends especially one from elementary who i hadn’t talked to in years and hadn’t seen in person since like 5th grade. Anyway. This is a huge build up to nothing really because all that really happened was I was keepin him in the corner of my eye and noticed him lean back, and I look and he’s literally leaning his whole body back and looking at my friend’s ass as she leans over. I think my not-so-subtle head swivel caught in the corner of his eye and all that happened was

Him: *looks up, our eyes meet and he has a smirk on his face*

Me: *lookin like a fresh and ready serial killer, sending a glare that could murder his future children sperm cell by sperm cell*....*shakes my head ‘no’ as if I’m scorning a dog*

Him: *tail noticeably tucking, smirk noticeably disappearing, sits up straight and minds his drink*

And that was pretty much it. Shortly after that, he and his friends (who were a couple themselves, he was a third wheel) were leaving saying their goodbyes to my friends from across the bar and the dude a shamed made sure to turn around, point at me, and declare “Watch out for that guy!”

That in an of itself was a punchline he did not get. And that is predatory behavior too, I’d argue, to cast blame before any blame need casting. If you tell someone someone else is shady before any shit goes down then it sets up that someone else for the downfall. Obviously a gross over exaggerated move to cover his ass in this case for when I told them about him creeping, considering any fucking woman who has ever worn a tight dress in public has been through the shit before and isn’t an amateur to the boy tricks.

Since then though, I have been more active in making eye contact with men and using what sway I have when I can. I’m not a  fan of making a scene so I would never go beyond what I did in that situation unless the scene had already started. And so help me if I’m ever in that scene. But there was one other time I had a similar experience, but it was in passing and all strangers.

I think i was walking out of the train station and was behind a woman few yards back. We were walking opposite to this guy who I noticed immediately targeting his eyes to her and beginning the scan, rubbernecking as he passed, then lookin at me clearly looking seeking confirmation to his pervy grin like “lookit that piece of meat”. So I took out my old “shame on you and your mother for not raising you better” face and the smirk slid right off his dumb mouth. I just wish i could slap them or something. I want to make a scene because of the times I didn’t make a scene. Or the times I had to witness a scene. These boys perpetuate that shit. So other children have to experience or see it happening. The domination of others for the pleasure of one. The unnecessary and disrespectful behavior they feel entitled to. And to anyone of any gender who emulates them! Double shame on you for not only admiring them, but also complimenting their behavior through imitation.

If you objectify anyone, I suggest you seek a counselor to discuss what is wrong with that and how to get some perspective.

[chuckaliciousbby-blog]

so, lets talk about Richie and Eddie (spoilers below the cut btw)

(Character Relationship Study)

the time that Eddie and Bill exchange looks because Richie is being his loud, obnoxious self, but they still want him around

“Bill caught Eddie’s eye, smiled a little, and shrugged. It was just Richie. He could drive you bugshit… but it was sort of nice to have him around.” (page 305)

that quote we all know and love

“man, he hated it when Richie called him Ed’s… but he had sort of liked it, too […]” (pg 292)

So, Eddie kind of relied on Richie to take the pressure off bad situations, like when Bill asks if he can tell the group something on page 306, and Eddie is begging Richie to “crack a joke, say something really outrageous, embarrass him, I don’t care just shut him up.”. And, back to that quote on page 292, where he talks about how Richie’s nick names gave them all a sort of “secret identity.”

all Richie’s affection and interaction

[Richie] pinched Eddies cheek. “Don’t do that! I hate it when you do that, Richie.” “Ah you love it Eds.” Richie said, and beamed at him. (pg 301)

“Get up, stop it, you’re splattering mud on me!” Eddie cried, Richie jumped up to his feet a second time and pinched Eddie’s cheek. “Cute, cute, cute.” Richie exclaimed.

“thats cause they know how cute you are, Eds - just like me. I saw what a cutie you were the first time i met you.” “Sometimes your a real turd, Richie.” (pg 349)

(okay so i think that part of the reason Eddie got so annoyed with Richie being so affectionate was because of how it made him feel. Because its pretty much canon that Eddie was gay, and that he felt ashamed of it (he married Myra, etc) and so when Richie did that stuff he felt the need to over compensate to avoid those feelings that he thought he shouldn’t have. And we all know that when Eddie doesn’t like something he sure as hell avoids it.)

“Eddie was looking at Richie with a mixture of awe and wariness.” (pg 302)

Richie always seems to reactive and proud when Eddie does things or says things that surprise him.

for example, on page 329, when Eddie makes a joke; Richie cackled, “Eddie Gets Off a Good One! And… You Are There!”

When Eddie run’s up to the giant eyeball with his acid aspirator and yells at the others to come help, Richie is so responsive.

(long quote sorry folks) “I’ll buy you a new pair of Keds when we get out of here,” Richie said. he clapped Eddie on the back in the dark. “How did you do it, Eddie?” “Shot it with my aspirator. Pretended it was acid. […]” “‘Im doing the Mashed Potatoes all over It AND I GOT A BROKEN ARM,” Richie said and giggled madly. “Not to shabby, Eds. Actually pretty chuckalicious, I’ll tell you what.” “I hate it when you call me Eds” “I know,” Richie said, hugging him tightly, “but somebody has to toughen you up, Eds. When you stop leading the sheltered igs-zis-tence of a child and grow up, you gonna, Ah say, Ah say you  gonna find out life ain’t always this easy, boy.” Eddie began to shriek with laughter. “That’s the shittiest Voice i ever heard, Richie.” (pg.1044)

(“Cuh-cuh-can you d-d-do this, Eh-Eh-Eddie?”) Eddie nodded, “Sure i can. I was alone last time. This time I’m with my friends. Right?” He looked at them and grinned a little. His expression was shy, fragile, and quite beautiful. Richie clapped him on the back, “Thass right, senhorr. Any-whunn tries to steal your assipirator, we keel heem. But when keel heem slow.” (pg 869)

adult Eddie thinks so fondly of Richie’s mannerisms and voice:

“Get off it, Eds,” Richie’s voice seemed to whisper, “You ain’t solid at all, and in the last few years the chucks have been few and far between, Right?” (pg 562)

“Sure kid, EV-ery day,” he says in a Richie Tozier voice and laughs again. (pg 293)

okay so on page 700 Eddie jumps, because he’s kind of on edge, and Richie goes, “Merrow down easy, Eddie-san,” Richie said, doing his Chinese Coolie voice, ‘Iss just other kids shooting off fireclackers”  and that makes Eddie and Ben grin. And i just wanted to say that this is a perfect example of Richie calming Eddie down without Eddie ever asking, and probably without even consciously trying to. Its jut Richie’s nature to make a bad situation into a joke, just to make it seem less sinister.

And some more frankly genius interactions:

“Richie dug [an] aspirator out of [Eddies] pocket. “Bite on this, Eddie” he said, and Eddie took a hitching, gasping breath as Richie pulled the trigger.  “Thanks.” Eddie managed at last. (pg 709)

On page 733 where Richie is joking with Eddie about how, “if you don’t shake off each time, you can get cancer” and Eddie gives him a “babies-must-play” look and i think that was such a great moment.

“Batches?” Richie cried, delighted, “We don’t need no stinkin’ batches.” “Go to hell, Pancho.” Eddie replied.

Richie was the first to ask for his inhaler on page 867. And Eddie shrugs and lets him.

“Watch what your doing,” Eddie said in a querulous, nervous voice, “I’m ticklish.” “Ramon ees plenny teekeleesh, senhorr,” Richie’s voice called down. (pg 871)

Richie is actually so concerned about considerate to Eddie when he’s not teasing him.

“Hey!” Richie called down. “Eddie needs help, okay?” (pg 871)

“Ah say… Ah say… the boy’s got a broken ahm! Lookit that, Stan, the boy’s got a broken ahm! Ah say… be a good spote and cerreh the boy’s pawcheeseh bo-wud for him!” “I can carry it,” Eddie said, a little out of breath. (page 974)

“I don’t think so, Eddie,” Richie said, “Your arm’s not, you know, looking too cool.” (pg 980)

“Richie and Eddie were last, Richie with one arm slung around Eddies waist, his dripping specs clinging precariously to the end of this noes.” (pg 991)

“thank god for small favors,” Richie muttered. He slapped Eddies can, “Go” “I don’t know how long i can with just one arm.” Eddie said apologetically. “Go anyway.” Richie said, and Eddie began crawling again. (pg 1035)

 Richie yells “help! I’m losing it! someone help me!” while fighting It, and Eddie runs towards it. And like, Eddie can be so brave. And not only did Richie save Bill, but Eddie saved them both. Like, Eddie literally died for them, just like he said he would through the whole book.

Richie is the one that reminds Bill that they need to kill It, because he can’t handle Eddie dying for nothing.

“That’s Audra!” Bill shouted desperately, “Thuh-That’s Audra” “I don’t give a shit if its the Pope.” Richie said grimly, “Eddies dead and we’re going to kill It, if Its still alive. We’re going to finish the job this time, Big Bill. Either she’s alive or she’s not. Now come on!” (pg 1095)

Richie is also the one most torn up about leaving him in the sewers.

“We gotta get him out of here, man,” Richie said. […] “Put him down” Beverly said […] “Its too dark,” Richie sobbed, “You know… Its too dark. Eds… he.” […] They put him down, and Richie kissed his cheek. […] (pg 1117-1118)

Eddies last words are my final testimony.

“Richie.” he whispered. “What?” Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately. “Don’t call me Ed’s,” he said, and smiled. he raised his left hand slowly and touched Richie’s cheek. Richie was crying. “You know I… I…” Eddie closed his eyes. Thinking how to finish, and while he was still thinking it over he died.