#anyway we'll see if i have enough energy to do this much thinking about the aztecs in a few weeks. we'll see.

[moiraimyths]

Before we call anon rude because let’s see it from their perspective, imagine getting an entire feast to eat. That can be pretty hard to start with so much that’s going on, but if they start with one thing they know they’ll like (aka one character they like) that can be the start for them leaping to other characters to finish the story and the bigger story. I struggle the same way to start book series if I don’t have at least one character that drives me to read it, it’s all about what can be the hook to push them through. Sounds like the anon is neurodivergent (just a guess) so they might genuinely not see it as rude and see it as a solution to even play the game to start with.

Btw absolutely adore the game, the complex and rich characters making them all so unique is amazing. The art is so pleasing to the eyes I love it!! I’m waiting for it all to get out at once so I don’t get too impatient. Shae however interests me the most, which routes will have the most lore for them? Will there be routes that give more lore in general based on decisions you make or do they all share the same amount? (I mean general lore not just Shae lore)

Apologies; we are not trying to accuse any asker of being rude! We are simply explaining our perspective as the developers / are trying to broadly encourage folks to dip their toes into other areas of the story outside of the main route(s) they're interested in, especially considering some routes will be made available sooner than others, and these other routes will likely contain additional scenes/lore of everyone's fave(s) regardless! We want to give each main cast member an equal amount of love (and lore) regardless of their overall popularity, so our goal is not to tut-tut anyone for having strong preferences for one character over the others, but rather to explain that you may be surprised by how much *more* you learn about your preferred characters in the other routes. That's all!

For Shae... Well, they were a foot soldier for one of the worst periods of the War. Lore wise, any other story that touches on the War will likely have content relevant to them and their experiences. ^^

[dangoulains-devotion]

yuffie has many interesting elements to her but people refuse to move past "i find energetic kids annoying" and it makes me sad

[relative-dimension]

“Five Hundred Eyes”

Season 1, episode 16 - 7th March 1964

[id: French orientalist Paul Pelliot examining a manuscript in the Library Cave of the Mogao Caves (the Caves of a Thousand Buddahs). He is sat on the floor, and around him are stacked many other manuscripts and books. /end id]

Okay, this review was going to be the part where I talked enthusiastically about the genuine attempt to depict Chinese culture in this serial, maybe talk about the lovely sets, and centre the entire discussion around Ping-Cho’s story in the middle of the episode. Fortunately, I decided to do some research around that story before writing it. You will see why I needed to do research and this may end up being a bit long and a bit of a rant but hey, I’m a history nerd and I don’t want to misrepresent anything, and I now have a lot of opinions about how John Lucarotti went about crafting a historical story. We’ll get there.

Is it an entertaining watch: 3/5, yeah, not much happens but I love the production and while watching it this was the point where I started to like this serial. Upon further research, I don’t any more.

Does the production hold up: 2/5, again, yellowface, but some of the sets in this serial are really nice, althought the Cave of Five Hundred Eyes itself really looks like shit from what I can tell.

Does it use its time well: 3/5, the first half drags a bit in a way that feels like it’s trying its hardest to move on, but by the middle it’s settled into a slow pace that feels deliberate, with time for Ping-Cho’s story (we get there when we GET there, I’m saying nice things at the moment) and the slow build-up of the threat at the end leading to the cliffhanger (more on that side of the story tomorrow).

Are the characters consistent and well-used: 4/5, yeah, they all get something to do, and there’s at least one fun or interesting scene for each of them. I saw some reviewers complain that Ian giving out fun facts about etymology

Is there anything actually going on under the surface: 1/5, as will become apparent, I suddenly don’t have much faith that John Lucarotti put any thought at all into this serial, and just wanted to put to screen as many things that Marco Polo said happened as possible.

Does it avoid being a bit dodge with its politics: 1/5, ah, and now we get to the good stuff. And by that I mean that bad stuff. I’m gonna have to actually organise this into paragraphs to properly explain what I mean.

As I mentioned earlier, in roughly the middle of the story, Ping-Cho tells a story about the Cave of Five Hundred Eyes, in which “Ala-eddin, the Old Man of the Mountains” uses “devious schemes” and the hashish drug to trick his soldiers into believing they were in paradise, then using that faith to convince them to give their lives for him, or else they would never see that paradise again, as only he had the power to take them there. Then, “mighty Hulagu” besieged their “lair” for three years, before killing them.

In my initial outline for this review, I praised the writing and production for giving the only actually Asian actor the monologue in which she tells a story from her culture and history. Unfortunately, upon even the smallest amount of research (I only had a day to write this, but I spent several hours reading various wikipedia articles and their sources to confirm this), I learned that this story isn’t a traditional Chinese legend about the Hashshashin, nor is it an accurate historical source. It is something that Marco Polo and other European scholars believed, as Marco Polo himself documented the story himself and is one of the original sources, but its authenticity has been thoroughly debunked.

The real history is that of the conflict between the Mongol empire, under Möngke Khan and Hülegü Khan, and the Nizari state of Alamut, ruled by Alā ad-Dīn Muḥammad, in which 100,000 Nizaris were massacred by the Mongols. However, this part is not the focus of Ping-Cho’s story, more of an afterthought and an explanation for why they aren’t around any more. The  bulk of the story revolves around the story of The Old Man of the Mountains, which has a complicated history too. The real “Old Man” was Hasan-i Sabbah, founder of the Nizari Isma'ili state in c.1090 and its fida'i military group, who would eventually gain the name “Assassins”. The origin of this name for the group is disputed, but it’s not because of the hashish drug, Ian.

The most compelling piece of evidence I found against this story of the Nizari fida’i was that of Peter Willey, who argues that according to the esoteric doctrine of the Nizari, the Isma’ili understanding of paradise was spiritual, not simply physical. Therefore, they would not have been fooled by a pretty garden and hot women into believing they were in paradise, or that only Hassan-i Sabbah was able to get them there again. Willey also points out that Juvayni, courtier of Hulagu Khan, surveyed the Alamut castle where the Nizari were, and found no evidence of any garden - and given how Juvayni destroyed texts in the library he deemed heretical, it would be surprising if he saw the drug use and temptation of this supposed garden and didn’t make note of it.

So if, even in contemporary non-Ismaili Muslim sources which were hostile to the Ismailis, there is no evidence of this story or any link of hashish to the Assassins, where did this come from, and why did John Lucarotti put it here? Well, that’s part of a long history of orientalism that I don’t have the time, energy, or knowledge to get too deep into, but I’ll give it my best shot.

The Nizari fida’i soldiers were known for not fearing injury or death, and the Crusaders, being the Crusaders, didn’t understand how they could be so loyal to their cause as to throw their own lives away (one story of similarly dubious origin describes them literally throwing themselves off cliffs at the order of their commander, as proof to an enemy leader that they were more loyal and therefore dangerous than the other larger army).

The term “hashishi” was used by 1122, with derogatory connotations of outcasts and rabble, to refer to the Nizaris, by their enemies, the term having its origin describing criminals who were mentally absent, and therefore similar to the effects of the hashish drug. However, no evidence points to the drug being used by the Assassins, or there being a link to the word being used for them and the taking of the drug, not even from the anti-Isma’ili Muslim sources at the time. However, the Crusaders and other Europeans at the time didn’t know this, which is why Marco Polo describes a legend involving the drug.

The fear of the Isma’ili as deadly, radical, and bloodthirsty assassins was linked to the hashishi term and therefore the hashish drug, and also to William of Tyre’s “Old Man of the Mountain” description of the Isma’ili leader at Alamut, and was filtered through various orientalist tropes around the secret practices of the Nizaris created by Crusaders ignorant of Islam, and through the 12th and 13th centuries this combination become a legend similar to that which Ping-Cho describes. These stories were popularised in the 19th century by orientalists such as Joseph von Hammer-Purgstall, and presumably through these sources, along with translations of Marco Polo’s writings, eventually reached John Lucarotti.

Now, my first instinct after learning all of that was to think “ah, but it was the 1960s! The main book that you looked at was published in 1995, there just wasn’t much research put into this by the 1960s.” And while yes, there wasn’t as much research, there was still some. Modern Isma'ili scholarship, pioneered by historians such as Vladimir Ivanov at the Islamic Research Association in the 1930s and 40s, laid the groundwork for disproving these legends, and all of that could have been researched by Lucarotti when writing this. Now, maybe he didn’t think to check that Marco Polo wasn’t 100% right about everything, or maybe the intention was to provide a depiction of Marco Polo’s perspective on ancient China, or maybe Lucarotti thought that since this legend was around at the time, telling it in the story was historically accurate. However, I think all of this is giving Lucarotti too much credit. I think what happened is he read Marco Polo’s diaries, and adapted stories into this Doctor Who serial, and then, despite this being a supposedly educational show, didn’t think any more of it, resulting in an uncritical regurgitation of orientalist tropes and etymological misnomers that had me fooled into thinking he was providing an accurate depiction of this culture and time period. Ugh.

Overall Score (oh yeah this is a Dr Who review not a history essay) - 14/30

[notyourhetloki]

Can I request Wade and Logan/reader breeding kink? 👉👈 both of them too excited about it and competitive? (Can you make reader gender neutral (he/him or they/them or trans ftm (he/him), you can use any terms for genitals and stuff it's ok)

into it (Logan x Reader x Wade)

Reader: he/him (ftm)

/NSFW Logan x Reader x Wade/

A/N: Fuuck I had so much fun writing this, anon! It's a bit short but it's pure porn so I hope you still end up satisfied lol (also sorry about the random gif, I couldn't find a more suiting one lmao). Anyway, hope you like it! xoxo

Tags: ftm reader (reader has a vagina), breeding kink, creampie, they both fuck you, Wade being a fucking joke, Logan is not having it, piv sex (unprotected), porn without plot.

Word Count: 908

—

As soon as you walked through the front door, they were all up in your personal space. Wade and Logan promptly started to take your clothes off, not exactly caring about being gentle.

"Boys! Calm down, there's plenty of me for the both of you!" You tried appeasing, but to no avail.

"And yet is nearly not enough." Groaned Logan, ripping your underwear off with his bare hands. You gasped as his fingers immediately found your sex, rubbing your clit while Wade kissed your neck.

"Sorry about that, doll. We'll buy you another one." Wade whispered into your ear, taking you by the hand and convincing Logan to continue things in the bedroom.

You were basically thrown onto the bed, naked and vulnerable and super turned on. You could already see their hard bulges before they started to take their own clothes off.

"On all fours for us." Ordered Logan, and you gladly obliged. "Attaboy..."

After all their clothes were out, Logan started positioning himself behind you until you heard Wade complain.

"Wait a minute, mutton chops! Why do you think you get to go first?" Wade pointed out.

"Because I can and I will." Logan retorted impatiently, giving your ass a light squeeze.

"Nuh-uh! That ain't fair! I propose a rock-paper-scissors to sort things out, nothing fairer than that." Said Wade holding a closed fist out.

"Fucking hell, fine!" Logan agreed and quickly started the game. They finished the round and Logan played scissors, while Wade played paper.

"Best out of three?" Begged Wade, but the other man didn't care for it.

"Fuck off." Logan pushed Wade aside and started positioning himself again, putting the tip of his cock at your entrance.

You were really wet, so it didn't hurt when he slammed into you. You were full, stuffed to the brim, and you thought it couldn't get any better than that... until Logan began thrusting into you, hitting a sweet spot inside that made you cry out in pleasure.

"Let us hear those sweet sounds you make, boy." Logan said while fucking you. He breathed loudly, grunting and grabbing you at the hips with enough force to bruise. The sounds you made together were obscene, and that turned Wade on even more.

"Gosh... fuck him silly, Wolvie." Wade was jacking himself off, looking closely at Logan's dick in and out of you. "Cum inside him..."

Logan groaned again, more urgent than before. A sudden thought took over him, and he needed to let it out. "I'm gonna breed you, (y/n). I'm gonna fill you up so good... fuck, fill you up with my seed."

"Goddamn!" Said a surprised Wade, not expecting the other man to be so earnest. "That's so fucking dirty... I love it."

"Ah, yes! Please..." You moaned, feeling energy and heat through your whole body. You were being used by him, your body only an object... it turned you on so damn much.

Logan's thrusts began to get even more rough, he was fucking you hard and the sounds he made were animalistic. Soon he turned erratic, his hips faltering in the rhythm he had set. You knew he was close.

He came with a loud grunt, holding you for dear life. Breathing deeply through his gritted teeth, Logan recovered and slowly took his member out of you. A bit of cum dripped from your entrance, and Wade observed everything with a delighted expression.

"I bet I can cum even more in his pussy..." He whispered mostly to himself, but you both heard him.

"You wanna bet, bub?" Said Logan with a satisfied smile on his face. What doesn't a good fuck does to one man's humor?

"Hell yeah, peanut." Wade soon replaced the other man's position and unlike Logan, asked for your approval. "You alright, gorgeous?"

"Y-Yeah... please, give it to me." You moaned as you felt his cock entering you, stuffing you up again.

Wade was a bit gentler with his hands, grabbing you thoughtfully at the places you weren't bruised. But his rhythm... he was still a beast.

"Fuuuck, you feel so good, pretty boy." He moaned, not stopping for a second.

"Hmm, Wade... Logan... ah!" You couldn't stop making noises and calling out for them, dumb with the feeling of being full.

"Good job, sugar... you're being so good for us." Said Logan while standing beside you, watching as Wade pounded into you with great enthusiasm.

"Shit, I'm close... I'll cum inside your pretty cunt, (y/n)." Wade gripped you even harder and finally slammed his hips into you, his climax followed by a deep moan.

He took a few breaths and slowly came back to earth, removing himself from you with a pop. Even more cum oozed from inside you, a beautiful and sexy sight for the both of them.

"As my partner here mentioned earlier... consider yourself 'bred'." Wade taunted, giving a final slap on your ass and retreating himself to put an arm over Logan's shoulder. "Sooo... about that bet, what is my prize?"

You laughed as you laid on your back to watch them both, exhausted but completely satisfied.

Logan suddenly grabbed Wade by his balls, looking him in the eyes. "You get to keep all of your blood inside your body today, sounds good?"

Wade responded in a higher octave, nodding his head and still holding Logan's shoulders. "Ouchie! So rough!" Logan let him go, but Wade only got closer. "You're lucky I'm into it."

—

[crusty-chronicles]

Stubborn

Synopsis: In which our two favorite demons tend to and scold Reader for being careless during a fight. Separate drabbles btw

Kurama 🦊🦊🦊

The first thought that crosses his mind is one of anger. How dare that feeble demon even think to put it's hands on you. The next is that there's blood. So much blood seeping from the wound on your side. The decision of what to do is made without hesitation. He wasted no time rushing to your side. Lifting up your shirt slightly to heal the wound.

The others would take care of the fleeing demon. For now, his top priority was you. Making sure you'd be okay. But apparently that wasn't how you saw it. Pushing his hands away with the little strength you had.

“I'm fine. Don't worry about me. You should go after that thing with the others,” you tried to sway.

As if your life wasn't more important.

Like he didn't cherish you more than anything.

His gaze hardened, maneuvering you on your back to get a proper look at your wound. Summoning his spirit energy in his palm and pressing it firmly against your side.

“You'd think of me so callous as to abandon my injured lover?” He questioned.

His accusation temporarily shocking you.

“No but-” ‘you shouldn't be wasting your time with me.’ you wanted to say. But you were cut off before you could finish.

“Then there's nothing more to discuss. When I'm finished, we'll go right back home. Yusuke and Kuwabara are more than capable of handling this by themselves.”

You once again shifted around, trying to get him to stop. The case came first. It should've come first. Not you. You were hurt, but wouldn't die from it. It was pointless wasting energy on something you could manage with on your own. Kurama shouldn't be focusing on you when there was still an important mission at hand.

He gave you a glare and that was all it took to have you stilling.

“Why must you insist on being difficult? Don't you know that I'll choose you every time? I'll always choose you over any fight, any mission, any person. No matter what, it's always you, so sit still and let me heal you.”

—------

Hiei ⚔️⚔️⚔️

Impulsive, impulsive, impulsive.

He sees red the second your body hits the floor and you struggle to get up. A dark crimson trailing down your forehead.

Damn whoever hurt you, and damn anybody who dared get in his way.

He quickly slays the one responsible for your injury. Not even giving them enough time to process what's happening before it's over. When that's taken care of, he makes his way over to you. Shooing the group of your friends away so he can inspect your injuries himself. Despite the protests from a certain troublesome reaper.

“Let me see.” It's more of an order than a request.

But instead of complying, you turn your head and try to stand. Trying your best not to make a big deal out of nothing. Only for Hiei to shove you back down.

“I'm okay. It's just a scratch.” You brushed off, but he wasn't convinced in the slightest. Moving to wipe off the blood from your forehead.

You grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

“Don't. It doesn't hurt, so leave it. And anyways, you shouldn't have killed that guy. He needed to be brought in for questioning.”

Your words only further irritating the three eyed demon.

It seems you didn't quite understand the importance you held in his life.

He would have slayed thousands for even looking at you wrong. And here you were defending some cretin who'd committed an offense that was deserving of a fate worse than death. Sometimes he hated that human heart of yours.

“Shut up. You don't get to run your mouth after being so foolish.” He scolded. Moving to heal your injury with his spirit energy. He didn't do it often, but you were always a special case. You were special.

Yet you continued to try and avoid his help.

“I'm fine!”

“Argue any further and I'll put you to sleep myself. You think I care about some low life over you? You must have a concussion if you believe that.”

Then his next words were softer. For your ears only.

“Your life takes priority over anyone and everything, got that? You're mine, and any creature that dares lay a finger on you will have to deal with that consequence.”

----------------

[haunted-radishes]

Hey, you seem to be a Wen Ning enjoyer, can you tell me what you like best about him? I feel like he has a lot of potential that isn’t really explored enough for him to be a fave so I’d like to hear your POV on him!

Honestly, right from the beginning he has always just made me happy :D

But to delve into it, the first thing that struck me about him was how kind he is. He's a sweet guy! I started with The Untamed, only reading the novel later, so my primary impression of him is the version that sneaks down to the dungeons to take out the evil dog and give Wei Wuxian some medicine, so he's going behind his sect's back to do what's right as soon as he has the opportunity to do so. I love how he's timid and gentle, but has the backbone of steel to risk it all to do the right thing.

But he's also kind of. Odd. Sometimes it ties into his hidden nerves of steel, like when he drugs the entire cohort at Lotus Pier to help Wei Wuxian and co. Like, it was an incredible act, but he just. Fucking. Drugged them. No hesitation. Absolutely wild behavior. Especially in the novel where he had only met Wei Wuxian once before this! I do prefer the drama version where his actions make more sense, but his devotion is at least a little unhinged no matter the version. But also, even besides the obsessive devotion, his energy is just. Endearingly strange and off-putting. Like when he decides that the best way to quietly contact Wei Wuxian is to dangle upside down outside his window. Or feels absolutely no need to make himself less terrifying when he power walks towards the tied-up juniors with a sword.

And then! The unexplored depths and unexamined tragedy! You're left to wonder so much about him! How DOES he feel about the whole fierce corpse thing? About his compromised autonomy? Would he have turned against his sect even if Wei Wuxian hadn't charmed him? Does he regret any of his actions before killing Jin Zixuan? How deep do his grudges run? Is there anyone from the Wen sect outside his established circle of family and cultivators who he misses or secretly mourns? What does he think about the other great sect members, especially the leaders? Plus so many more questions we'll never truly know the answers to, because he tucks his problems away and never speaks of them! The closest glimpse we get of his inner turmoil is his verbal evisceration of Jiang Cheng with the core reveal, and that does show us some interesting things about his character! For the first time, we see him choosing to be as hurtful as possible, showing how much he clearly resents Jiang Cheng, but how much of that is personal dislike, how much is anger on Wei Wuxian's behalf, how much is blame for the deaths of his family, and how much is gall at him benefiting from dear late Wen Qing's genius and service without even knowing it? Also, what is he going to do after canon? What is left for him?

Also he's relatable, lol. That awkward uncertainty he always carries with him is very endearing in an "oh, me too buddy" kind of way. He has so much going on inside his head, but all that comes out is, "oh! Excuse me >.<" People are having massive emotional moments right in front of him, and he's just..... There.

Anyway, Wen Ning! Love that guy! Makes my brain go "brrrr"

[abyssal-author-and-artist]

My drawing stylus died yesterday but I got it to work again! Divine Falls Mabel and Dipper will be out tomorrow in all of their glory with creator notes! I'm actually enjoying Mabel's design way more than I thought I would.

Anyways, I feel like I should post Divine Falls lore/plot because... I want to.

In chronological order, not in order of how the show goes.

Ford and Stan, the twin gods of Life and Death respectively, are born to Caryn and Filbrick, married gods of Propecy and whatever I decide Filbrick gets because I literally can't think of something good for him. Ford, as Life, is put on a pedestal. For the first few years of their lives, Stan and Ford (and Shermie, god of conception or some shit, I'm still working on it) have their own wings of the main temples that their parents have. Caryn and Filbrick have one shared temple with a bunch of wings for various things.

College in this AU is replaced by temples, or rather, the status of temples. West Coast Tech is replaced by Ford being offered a large temple so large that a large city will be built around it. Think Athens. And yes, this era is very ancient Greece era because god au. Don't worry, we'll hit modern era.

So Stan wants to travel to spread his blessings. As the God of Death, he doesn't have many, but what he does have are the blessings that go unappreciated. Like granting a peaceful death to people or letting people say final goodbyes. Extending someone's life just long enough that that they can say goodbye to those that matter to them. And he wants to adventure. He wants to spread his blessings silently and see as many things as possible. He wants to do all this with Ford, whose blessings are way more obvious - long and prosperous life, fertility, that sort of thing.

When they're about to set off into the world, a human architect approaches the temple that's run by Caryn and Filbrick offering a huge temple to Ford. Filbrick wants those sweet offerings that mortals make to gods, but Stan doesn't want Ford to take it. Ford is conflicted but promises that if something goes wrong, he'll go with Stan travel the mortal world.

As an accident, Stan accidentally kills the forest where they want to build the temple and the town surrounding it. Stan becomes a pariah because he messed up his brother's chance to have his own temple. Stan goes on the run, pretending to be a mortal and spreading blessings more subtly. He still ends up in jail because people think he's suspicious, but he manages to break out every time.

Meanwhile, Ford is struggling to make his own mark. Because his first temple was ruined so dramatically - rotted trees and cracked stone all the way down - architects see him as a bad omen. He manages to share a temple with Fiddleford for a while, then finally gets his own little temple in a small, newly founded lumber town, where he becomes the main religious figure. People have to make pilgrimages to him, but for the most part, he's free to just exist as a god in a remote mountain town in butt-fuck nowhere, oregon.

One day, he's wandering around disguised as a mortal when there's not many people praying to him as he often does. He finds a cave and senses divine energy and decides, fuck it, he's gonna go in. He finds an inscription on a wall in a language long lost, even to him, and recites it in stuttering words. He's almost disappointed until Bill shows up.

To Ford, Bill feels divine, but weakened. So, naturally, instead of assuming Bill is a fallen Old God (which is the correct answer), he assumes Bill is an archangel for a fallen god - "Maybe even Stanley's archangel? Did he ever have one?" - because archangels are much closer to mortal life than gods are and can be seen in their most powerful form without driving a mortal insane. Basically near-mortal vessels of pure divinity. Bill being a triangle, well, it's odd for an archangel, but Ford's willing to handwave it because divinity does strange things to the mundane and a part of him is latched to the idea that Bill is somehow the mortal hand of Stan (where mortal hand is shorthand for archangel or other mortal vessel of divinity) despite the fact that that makes no sense. Bill uses this to convince Ford that his power, his remaining divinity, can be restored by a certain magical artifact that needs to be remade.

Now, Ford is good with creation and life, but not so much with recreating ancient artifacts with inscriptions from gods and divine entities long dead. So he calls up his old pal Fiddleford, god of Science, to help. Instantly Fiddleford is suspicious of Bill because something feels off. Additionally, Ford was always the one who preferred learning new things about mortal life and ancient artifacts, yet he didn't even bother trying to translate the text? But alas, Fiddleford doesn't know a lot about translating the odd and the strange, so he leaves it at just an odd feeling.

As I'm sure you know if you are a Gravity Falls fan, Fiddleford is right to be suspicious of Bill. In this, Bill's trying to restore his powers and status as an Old God. Part of the way through the reconstruction of the artifact, it goes haywire and Fiddleford receives a fraction of Bill's sealed power, which includes a lot of very not good things, like straight up mass mind control with no cooldown or wind up. It makes him realize that, oh, Bill is an Old God in disguise. He leaves the project and Ford gives up a fraction of his divine influence so Bill can use it to finish the project. He's nearly at the end when Ford takes over again to go grant a blessing. And then he realizes Fiddleford was right.

He calls up Stan, first verifying that he's been tricked and that Stan never had an archangel or other mortal hand due to being an outcast despite the fact that, as Life and Death, Stan and Ford could have mortal hands. When Stan affirms this, Ford calls him over.

Despite being a god, Stan has to manually travel to Gravity Falls, Oregon - his divine influence is weak and many people don't even know that there's a god of Death anymore, let alone worship him. He's stealing offerings from other god's altars just to survive at times - and often gets thrown in jail because he's seen as thieving from the gods when he, himself, is one of them. When he gets to Ford, Ford has descended into paranoia and the town is nervous and anxious due to their town's patron deity not interacting with them anymore. Ford is in his human form, which seals most of his divine influence, when Stan gets to the temple. He's paranoid and isn't even letting people in his temple. Luckily, he has enough offerings to sustain himself, but he's basically starving himself so he and Stan have about the same amount of influence - basically none.

The journals are literally the same except they cover different topics. Basically, Ford gives Stan a book (Journal 1) that covers how best to perform the duties of Life. Journal 2, as held by Gideon, describes how best to use offerings and influence granted by worshippers. Journal 3, once discovered by Dipper, is a record of divine phenomena such as how festivals affect divinity and how the flow of time can sometimes warp strangely (see: The Time Traveler's Pig in canon for why I need to write time travel into the journals). All three have mentions of Bill, and the diagrams and notes for how to recreate the divine artifact.

Ford, instead of getting thrown into the multiverse, has his influence sealed and his power is scattered across the universe as a rogue natural force. He's sentient but he can't interact with anyone, not even as a wisp of influence. His power has been sealed in the same place most of Bill's is, which makes it so he can interact with Bill's well of influence. He spends his time attempting to annihilate Bill's power while sealed, resigned to never being brought back because the artifact is partially crushed, mostly used, and two of his journals have been relocated around the town.

Stan takes over the temple. It starts small, where he just uses some of the stockpiled offerings, one after the other, but eventually, he runs out of influence and needs to reopen the temple. Luckily, if he steals some of Ford's accessories that are the things most vividly depicted in murals of him, he can pass as Ford, the God of Life, pretty easily. He uses the journal to bullshit as many of Ford's powers as possible, but that's rather difficult so he ends up just using any of his powers that he can. Because he has a lot of blessings he can give, it works, and he's able to pass as a somewhat-subpar Life for a few centuries.

Fast forward to probably about the same time Gravity Falls takes place (if not a little earlier). Mabel and Dipper, twin Gods of Earth and Space, live with their parents, the Sun and the Moon, until they're sent away to live with "Stanford, god of Life" in his temple. The idea is that they're learning how to harness their powers best with an experience god on their power level while also using the small town that's very used to the divine and supernatural due to the sheer amount of gods walking among them to learn how to interact with mortals. Dipper finds Journal 3 and uses it to learn a lot of things about divinity and the anomalies.

Something that might be seen as a plot hole: the Earth and Space have existed probably longer than Life of Death. As have a lot of the concepts embodied by children - Pacifica is the god of Change which is one of the oldest concepts ever and Gideon, as the god of Magic, has existed as long as magic has existed. To cover for this, every once in a while a God's essence needs to be returned to the fabric of the universe to merge with other concepts and create new world and religious orders. For example, when Pacifica and Fiddleford (Change and Science, respectively) die, their essences will meld together into Progress. Therefore, Mabel and Dipper were likely part of an entity known as Reality before they died and split into twin gods.

Dipper, as Space, is naturally inclined to keep learning everything about everything - things symbolized by space include mystery, magic, and knowledge, after all, so he's likely to seek out the strange, paranormal and divine.

Mabel, as Earth, is a free spirit who adores creation and finding new, fun mortal pursuits. In general, she's a lot more focused on the mortal side of things than Dipper is - where he wants to learn everything about godhood and their divinity, she wants to enjoy walking among mortals for as long as possible.

When Ford gets brought back, he yells at Stan, revealing he was about to destroy the seat of Bill's power and now they have to go about it the hard way.

Most of the series plays out mostly the same except Weirdmageddon is replaced by Bill regaining his godhood and is defeated by erasing his divine presence with something similar to the memory gun, which has been invented by Fiddleford to prevent his influence from fracturing. There's new logistics behind it which I will. get to. eventually.

So that's basically a broad overview of the plot and I might end up making this into a fic because I have gone feral over this AU. In case you. Couldn't tell.

I might make a separate blog for Divine Falls stuff one of these days because this is a lot, but I'm not sure I will.

[amourtoken]

Ruffilo gives me this energy that's like "first spontaneous love you met in high-school or like early college that changes your whole life" if that makes sense

Like you two meet and it's just an instant spark that only gets more intense the longer you know him. He's everything you've ever wanted and needed and then some. Nicky makes a point to do absolutely everything in his power to show you how much he cares about you and how important you are to him, because he feels like he really can't live without you now that he's met you and he wants to share every experience he can with you.

he shows up at your house randomly to sneak in or beg you to come outside so be can take you on some random adventure even though it's way too late to be out (neither of you truly care). He's a big fan of taking you to get high and stargaze while talking about every weird life question you could possibly think of. Are aliens real? Do you think we've met in a past life? Will we meet in the next one? I hope so.

You inevitably end up losing your virginity to him on one of these random 2 am outings and he feels bad about it to this day cause he wanted it to be different but you constantly reassure him it was special enough.

When Bad Omens takes off and he starts getting more busy he does everything he can to make sure you know you're on his mind. He writes little notes for you to open on specific days and brings or sends flowers to you every chance he can. When he goes on tour he leaves a bunch of his comfy hoodies with you so you're not entirely alone and he calls you literally every night cause he can't go a full day without seeing you to some degree. He falls asleep on the phone with you a lot.

Whenever he gets home he comes straight to you, lifting you off the floor in a hug and burying his face against your neck. The world could be ending and your arms would make it all better. Eventually he finds a way to bring you on tours with him cause he just can't keep leaving you behind, you end up working merch for them so it all works out fine anyway.

He gets the entire group involved when he proposes to you. You find out they've kept it a secret for over a whole year so he could do it at just the right time. He thought about doing it onstage but he's a relatively private guy, he wants it to be about you and him, not everyone else. He surprises you with it while in your hometown by dragging you out on one of those stargazing late night dates like you two used to go on again and of course you say yes.

He's one of those people that you lay in bed at night next to and think about how fucking lucky you are to have met and how you love them so so much your chest genuinely aches. You think about those old conversations a lot and one constantly pops up in your mind.

"Do you think we've met before? Like, in a past life or something?"

"Maybe. Feels like I've known you forever."

"Do you think we'll meet again next time too?"

"I hope so."

[c-is-for-circinate]

MCU Rewatch #3: THOR (2011)

General Impressions: I'm allowed to like this one for reasons unrelated to objective quality! I'm also allowed to dislike it for same!

Thor does a good job at a bunch of things. It manages to really succinctly outline what Asgard's deal is, who the major players are, and how this complete fantasy world works, while remaining in the context of a two-hour movie that mostly doesn't even take place there. It's very funny in places! It's not at all a deep movie, but it's entertaining and fantastical and that's fun. This is -- and was! -- the perfect movie to watch in a cold movie theater during a hot summer, munching popcorn and explosions, and that's a perfectly valid thing to be.

Anyway, for me the best parts and the worst parts of this movie were the same, ie Loki. We'll get there -- he was by far the most complex part of this really quite simple film, and that has its plusses and minuses!

All in all, there's nothing wrong with a simple film, and for the most part that's what I'll say about Thor: it was a simple film with good fight scenes, and nothing much was wrong with it.

OH. Except the sound balancing/editing. That was absolutely criminal and whoever was in charge of sound design for this movie should be shot, not just for their crimes here but for the many years of emulation to come.

The Hero: Like the movie, simple but endearing, with a genuine heart.

Thor is definitely not as compelling as Tony Stark, but he's likeable, and his emotional arc is definitely both present and the most genuine part of this movie. In a lot of ways, what we see here is that Thor is a big kid. He makes decisions without thinking about consequences. He does not bother to try and read a room. He's arrogant in a way that reflects his position, but he's also arrogant in a way that suggests he hasn't considered his position -- having his powers, hammer, and home taken away from him is a shock because he's never thought about the fact that he had them in the first place. Getting sent to Earth is more or less a boy being grounded by his father to try and teach him responsibility. Thor is almost a coming-of-age movie, except that it never quite feels like Thor actually gets there -- he's better, by the end, but not quite a man standing on his own two feet just yet. Breaking the Bifrost is a sacrifice on his part, not a decision carrying the weight of the responsibilities Thor will have as an adult and future king.

That said, I really enjoyed the sincerity of his confusion and grief over being told Odin was dead. He's a hurt little kid, asking his brother if please, can I go home. The scene with Selvig in the bar is one of the best in the movie, with Thor admitting vulnerability and doubt and regret over how he left things with his father. (And again, telling that all of these are feelings about his dad, with a man old enough to be a dad/granddad, and that's the energy Thor needs to lean on right now -- Selvig, not Jane, gets Thor's emotional breakthrough moments, because Thor is a tall handsome child who hasn't grown past needing a parent.)

Also, I vaguely remember some fan back-and-forth about whether Thor is kind of dumb, or very smart but trolling, or very smart and just ignorant of local customs. Upon rewatch, Thor may or may not be smart, but he doesn't particularly care. He does shit on Earth because he doesn't care enough to pay attention to whether it's appropriate. Nobody else is smashing coffee mugs, and the diner is totally lacking in raucous celebratory energy, but Thor wants to be raucous and celebrate, so he's going to do so whether it's appropriate or not. Doesn't matter that he's been driven around in cars his whole time on Earth, he doesn't spend thirty seconds to think about what might be appropriate travel, he's going to make assumptions. This is more of that self-centered teenager logic, where he doesn't bother to try and think about the existence of points of view outside his own.

The Villain: If I end up having Loki Feels by the end of this marathon I'm going to stab something. I refuse.

Anyway, Loki was the most complex part of this really quite simple film, which has good and bad sides! I can and will be objective about how well/poorly that complexity was rendered, but sitting here thirteen years after this movie came out, I can admit it: I really fucking hate the Evil Adopted Kid trope. It's a shitty trope and I don't like it, for personal reasons, and that is always going to color my experience with Loki in any movie where he shows up

That aside, Loki's actual motivations and plans in this movie were baffling and kind of a mess. The problem is that Loki is a complex character, with a lot of doubts, full of love and jealousy and insecurity and pride, but we very rarely get to see him from the inside. It feels like the movie was really invested in surprising people with the end twist of Loki killing Laufey in front of Odin, revealing that actually he was on Asgard's side all along! and does not hate his family! So therefore, for the movie before that, we had to be witness to everyone else's doubts about him and only seeing his actions from the outside, to keep that a surprise. I can see how it'd be effective on a first watch, when the suspense of 'what is this guy going to do and what side is he on?' can pull a viewer through the movie. On a rewatch, knowing what Loki's ultimate deal is, it just feels confusing and inconsistent. What exactly was your plan for when your dad woke up, Loki? Did you actually intend to leave Thor on Earth forever? Were you or were you not actually hoping to kill your brother? What the fuck was your endgame here?

I think there is probably a very interesting story here where Loki's plans seem muddled because he's muddled, awash with emotions and doubts and the inner conflict between love of his brother, twisting jealousy, the objective truth that Thor would be a terrible king, and the fact that Loki, like Thor, is also still very much a grown-up kid. He's making dumb decisions by the seat of his pants and his motivations are contradictory and messy. That tracks, with what we see, but we don't get to see that because this movie is too invested in its twist and its simplicity. Allowing Loki the time and space to be this complicated would steal the entire show from his simpler, genuine brother, and because the movie itself wanted to be simple and straightforward, there wasn't room to hold the layers of its complicated villain. No wonder the Tumblr girlies went wild for him.

The Ensemble: Weak romantic lead with an A+ comic sidekick, hobbled by needing to run two casts at once.

I think this is where we really see Thor suffer from the problem of having to establish two casts at the same time. The New Mexico side of the equation, Jane and Selvig and Darcy, simply doesn't get time for character development. We know next to nothing about Jane, except that she cares about her research and once dated a doctor. Why this research? How did she get into it? How long has she been in New Mexico? What university does she even work for??? It's true that we don't get a lot of details about, say, Pepper's backstory, but it doesn't matter because we understand from the very beginning how she fits into her life and also Tony's life. Jane is a brief three-day whirlwind in Thor's existence, and that's not enough time for him or us to understand who she is or why we should love her. It feels like the movie went through the motions of having a Lady Love Interest, and it doesn't work out great.

Darcy and Selvig actually fare better, simply because there's less need for them to be more than they are. All we know about Darcy is that she's a polisci major who's working a summer internship way outside of her field, but we don't need to know more -- she's there to be fucking hilarious and indeed she is. Selvig is there to help facilitate Jane's choices and Thor's emotional development, and he does his job well.

The Asgardians have a similar problem. Thor's four friends are basically interchangeable (Sif's only notable distinction being that she's a girl). Thor's mom...shows up? We get the impression that there's more going on with Odin than we've seen, but I wonder if some of that is just me remembering Ragnarok -- either way, given that Odin is literally in a coma for 3/4 of this movie, it doesn't mean much. Heimdall probably has more characterization than anyone else in Asgard other than Loki, and that is...not a lot.

It's a lot of just not very much, across the board.

The Franchise: We're already seeing the formula start to get built and tested in the moviemaking labs.

It's fascinating watching Thor on screen directly after two back-to-back movies of Tony Stark, because Thor has some of Tony's same growth arc with none of his fascinating complexity. On the surface they've got the same vague sketched outline: careless, self-involved privileged prettyboy must learn to think outside himself and care for others to become a hero. Thor takes that plotline in a very different direction, which means the movie doesn't feel same-y, but a more cynical viewer might wish to speculate about what boardroom or producer's office suggested that the writing team follow that.

I think Thor actually does better about wasting time trying to set up the future of the franchise. We don't spend a ton of time on Coulson and Hawkeye here -- if we watched this movie with no idea who they were or that they were here to set up anything at all, they'd function fine as Generic Government People (with an inexplicable thing for archery). I think the place where the setting-up hits worst, actually, might be with Loki: he needs to be complex and sympathetic enough to be interesting as the main villain of Avengers, but we can't resolve anything about him before that. (Not sure how far they'd planned the plot of Avengers at this point in the production run, but I wouldn't be surprised if they'd already called him as their bad guy.)

Thinking about the big thematic MCU premise of a superhero world without secret identities -- the choice of Thor as our next hero in the franchise, somebody who neither has nor needed a secret identity to begin with, is clever there. They're not going back on the freedom from overworked secret identity bullshit that they've promised, but they're also not stuck making a second movie about the lack of them, which would just end up looking like a retread of IM2. The secrets we do find here are all kept by SHIELD, which is clearly trying to keep superhero stuff in, and just as clearly is not managing it. (Loki also has a secret identity, with his discovery of his Jotunn heritage...hmm, much to think about there for the future.)

We pretty much lose all themes around the military-industrial complex here, and the movie is probably the better for it, considering what a hash IM2 made of the subject.

VERDICT: A breezy, light 6/10

Thor is in every respect a perfectly fine movie. It's simple, it's straightforward, it manages to do a bunch of things and establish a brand new fantasy setting without actually putting much depth into any of them.

I suspect that, as I get further on in this franchise, 'perfectly fine and no great flaws' is going to be the verdict on a lot of these movies, and I'm going to start dropping my number rating lower and lower every time something shows up that's simply fine. For now, with the context of only IM1 and 2, 'does light summer adventure flick competently with some sincerity and doesn't fuck it up' feels like an improvement over IM2's messiness, so that's where I'm rating it.

Except for the sound design. Anyone who thinks their battle sequences need sound effects roughly 800% of a standard dialogue scene should be forced to watch their own movies with the sound on a pair of unremovable headphones set to a flat however-loud-it-needs-to-be-to-hear-people-talking. Perhaps, after the deafness ensues, they will change fucking careers.

[bonny-kookoo]

has tongue tied!Mc ever been sick while staying with the boys?

"I can't believe that.. you know." Hoseok sighs as Taehyung lays down on his back. "I mean, I honestly haven't thought about it at all to be fair- but still. I never knew how bad those side effects could get." He mumbles concerned.

"We'll just have to be there for her as a pack." He shrugs, holding you where you're sprawled out almost on top of him, limbs trying to hold onto him as his hand runs up and down your back. "She seems most calm when most of us are around." He explains.

"Well, good thing we've got some time off anyways." Jimin says, placing a puzzle piece down where it belongs. "Amd I think it's good the world gets to see this too. I think most forget what we have to regularly go through as hybrids." He explains, as Jungkook nods.

They're all sure this conversation will most likely get cut out the final episode. But they've long stopped caring- that fact having showed itself especially when Jungkook had put his foot down and told the company he'd not join the project if you weren't allowed to tag along.

And at first, it was all great- the first week of filming good enough for the camera directors it seemed like, and fans really enjoyed the more personal and domestic side of everyone- including you. But then you'd suddenly gotten sick when you went home for a few days with the guys- a private checkup confirming that you weren't necessarily sick, but simply going through your quarterly cycle as a hybrid-

Or your 'heat' as it's commonly referred to.

The only reason you're so quiet and dependant however is to be blamed on the company's decision to use a hormonal shot for you- medication used to eliminate and conquer any natural effects of your cycle, and 'calm you down', according to advertisers and pharmaceutical companies.

'Calming you down' just being a different term for making you emotionally and physically miserable.

You're tired, without any energy to do much, uninterested in anything really. Your mood is rather gloomy and unsure, nothing really able to cause you any positive excitement due to your hormones being all messed up. You cling to any member that accepts it, desperate for any form of security it seems like, constantly worried of things you can't voice out.

Because by now, you've gone completely entirely silent, rarely ever making a sound.

"Things like that shouldn't be legal." Jungkook mumbles almost angrily to himself as he searches for a correct puzzle piece. "Like, it shouldn't be legal for anyone to be able to decide things like this for someone who's able to make these decisions themselves." He quietly argues, and a cameraman coughs- as if to remind him he's still there.

Well, that'll certainly get cut for sure.

"Her fever isn't nearly as high as it was though." Yoongi offers, sitting down on the floor after checking your head silently for your temperature. "She'll hopefully nap it off soon." He softly says, watching you nuzzle into Taehyung's chest.

"Hopefully." Jungkook grumbles, still mad at the whole situation. You don't deserve this. He hates knowing you don't feel well- and that he can't do anything about it.

But that's how it'll be sometimes.

And as long as he's there together with everyone else to hold you during times like these, it might just be okay.

[ac-liveblogs]

Munchen Bastard vs Manshine City: The Finale

This panel is inexplicably hilarious to me. Isagi reflects so calmly on that batshit match like he and Kaiser were being completely normal and reasonable. That was an average match. Nothing to see or comment on there.

Is it still a technical foul if the one you're assaulting is on your own team? Anyway.

...god, I want to see what Blue Lock TV has to say about that one. You know it's wild when Nagi and Reo go full uh... Nagi and Reo, and they're still not the biggest trainwreck ('most interesting') of a duo on the field.

Ego talking about Nagi's goal as a one-hit wonder is interesting, because I think he's right that Nagi will never be able to replicate it. Nagi could barely keep that same energy going for the match he was already in, let alone another one. Nagi, whose only real faults read as 'just less experienced than everyone else', seems to finally be getting a real flaw he'll have to work on - motivation. Which is interesting, right, given his motivation is supposed to be getting the world cup with Reo - but that's not a big enough driver to keep him really going? Episode Nagi's reframing of events seems mildly contradictory in that way. Guess we'll see how it goes.

Suddenly, Yukimiya. You know a guy is screwed when he starts saying shit like "god never gives you more than you can handle!" He can pretend he's gonna be a player all he wants, I don't think he's coming back in any major capacity.

Oh yeah, speaking of Isagi blasting past people regardless of their sad backstories, Sae is inevitably going to be Isagi's midfielder later, right? Because screw Rin, right? That's awesome, I can't wait.

I don't know much about soccer, but as a 'playmaker' who is very good at strategic passing, would Isagi be better off as a midfielder like Sae? Is that a criminal thing to say. I'm sorry. Isagi's just really bad at actually scoring goals lately. Maybe he should refocus. Since he apparently thinks he doesn't need any special moves to get one over on Kaiser, he might want to build the skillset he definitely already has. (amazed at Isagi's hyper-confident bullshit).

Kaiser just like. Ruined a goal. For his own teammate. Is that legal? Should it be illegal? Obviously this shit can only happen in Blue Lock but is it REALLY something sponsors are gonna like like. 'oh yeah that's a good team player that guy he'll work really well in a team', REALLY?

I guess teams only seem to consist of like max. four relevant people at any one time so what does it matter... the author only sometimes remembers Chigiri and Kunigami are around... particularly insulting for Kunigami all things considered.

Actually, it'd be so cool if Kira reappears after Wild Card as a final joker card boss or something. I'd love that. Please do that. I'll be sad if that doesn't happen now.

Just once, I want to see these jackasses go up against a really competent goalie. I want Kaiser Impact stopped dead. Just once. Please.

For real though, it does make their soccer feel pretty 'incomplete' that other players like that aren't really accounted for. These guys don't feel like they're training to go up against really competent defense or anything. Maybe the author just doesn't think it exists. I don't know.

Backstory: I played soccer for two years in primary school, and the first year I was defense. Our forwards were so competent the ball very rarely came anywhere near us, so I didn't have to be good or anything. It's not like I could do much if it did. So my soccer experience is entirely consistent with Blue Lock, but that doesn't mean I have to like it! Why are these pro athletes on the same level as me at age 10!

Ness is so funny. I want to see his Kaiser stan account's deranged blogging of the entire Blue Lock experience.

I love that Isagi thought so hard he passed out. "Metavision" is so funny.

One, why is Noa's bedroom some sci-fi alien ship. Two, why was Isagi taken THERE when he passed out. Did Ego just like. Not fund an infirmary? Is that where Blue Lock cut costs? I'd buy it.

Noa's just watching his team burn with a completely impassive face. Man he does not give a SHIT, I bet he's loving Kaiser getting assaulted by some random high schooler.

The idea that Ego ever actually played soccer is bonkers to me. Like, it makes perfect sense. But I don't buy it. Seeing that guy in soccer shorts will actually make my brain melt out my ears.

But of course Blue Lock, designed to attract/produce guys that are not even remotely normal about each other, was founded by a guy that is also not normal about another dude. Phenomenal stuff.

Bastard Munchen's sponsors watching Isagi and Kaiser brutalise each other on the field like "yeah we want that all the time actually"

I expected Shidou to rank much higher given his U-20 showing. How is he so much lower than Rin? Does Rin just knock him unconscious before every match?

If I were told I had the same worth as Ness I think I'd kill myself.

LET'S GO BAROUUUUUU

[seokmattchuus]

Seok Matthew as a Dom

A/n: I love this man with my whole being. It's only fair he's the first zb1 thing I post. P.S I don't wanna hear s h i t about the gif. There's only so much to work with right now 😭

P.P.S I did not proofread because I have copious amounts of caffiene in my system and cannot read properly. If there's typos, let me know and I'll fix them when I'm normal again <3

-

Soft dom.

Softest of doms.

Also,

CAREGIVER VIBES

SO MANY CAREGIVER VIBES

He's up first most of the time so he makes breakfast to make sure you eat.

Smoothie person? He's got it made.

Cereal person? Prepped with your favorite spoon.

Full fledged meal? He's working on it but the eggs are done.

If he isn't up before you, he's blowing up your phone all day.

"Did you eat?"

"You forgot your water thingy. I'll bring it by later :)"

"Make sure you eat enough for lunch! Snacks and energy drinks don't count >.<"

Even if you pinky promise to eat a proper lunch, he doesn't trust you.

"Oh yeah? Show me what you're eating."

Turns into a whole video call during your lunch that you barely even get to eat anyways.

He's clingy what can I say

Okay back to soft dom matthew.

Doesn't like raising his voice because it definitely hurts him more than it hurts you.

Because you're his lil baby.

How can he yell at his lil baby and be okay after that?

Raising his voice is the last resort or reserved for major fuck ups.

Usually says your name in that tone.

You know.

The soft dom tone.

Timbers? Shivered.

It usually does the trick because you don't really want to make him mad.

Unless you want to.

But we'll get to that. Put a pin in it.

He's up first most of the time so he makes breakfast to make sure you eat.

Smoothie person? He's got it made.

Cereal person? Prepped with your favorite spoon.

Full fledged meal? He's working on it but the eggs are done.

If he isn't up before you, he's blowing up your phone all day.

"Did you eat?"

"You forgot your water thingy. I'll bring it by later :)"

"Make sure you eat enough for lunch! Snacks and energy drinks don't count >.&lt;"

Even if you pinky promise to eat a proper lunch, he doesn't trust you.

"Oh yeah? Show me what you're eating."

Turns into a whole video call during your lunch that you barely even get to eat anyways.

He's a giver. For sure.

I'd bet my life on it.

L o v e s foreplay.

He drags that shit out.

Kisses. Kisses everywhere.

Loves hickies.

Will trail them down your body.

And leave the biggest ones where only he can see :))

Bc he thinks they make you look pretty :))))

All in all just really wants to make your private time last. It's not like he's got other things to do.

Gives you head before sex.

Always.

Doesn't like restraints because he loves feeling you tug on his hair.

Gives him motivation, y'know?

He knows what you want.

And how you want it.

Say 'please' and he'll give it to you until you're begging him to stop

Because he totally does it for him more than for you.

Like, say he's had a rough practice.

Maybe a petty argument.

He'll text you some shit like.

"Can you get all pretty for me?"

"Remember that set we bought, can you put it on for me?"

You know what's coming and it just gets you worked up.

You know by now to just wait on the bed.

He wastes no time burying himself between your legs.

He's not moving anytime soon.

And with the hold he'd have on your legs, neither are you.

You're stuck there until he's done.

And that's not until you're crying and shaking because he needs you to be absolutely spent before he considers letting up.

Speaking of-

He might dabble in overstimulation, but not maliciously?

If that makes sense??

Like, his stamina is insane and after he's done eating you out, he's already getting ready move on.

And for the most part, you're not opposed but like,

Damn, not even a snack break, y'know?

He's just going.

Def likes missionary because eye contact.

And he can kiss you whenever he wants.

"Look at me, baby."

"So pretty like this."

"Such a good girl."

Likes to hold your hips.

Maybe leaves bruises.

(And totally apologizes afterwards)

I can see him liking doggy.

infrontofamirrorsohecanstillseeyou

I said nothing.

Maybe holds your arms behind you.

Or grab your hair.

You'd have to ask though.

Because he doesn't want to hurt you.

And even if he complies, he's constantly asking if you're okay.

He needs the reassurance.

He'll give you what you want but you have to tell him that he's not hurting you.

You're his precious baby bean and the last thing he wants is to hurt you.

UNLESS

Yeah, we're back to pushing his buttons. Take that pin out.

:))

Let's say the tone encouraged the brat in you and you wanted to test how far he'd go.

He's not gonna say anything while you're out.

Oh, no.

And of course, you're gonna take that as 'he's not gonna do anything', and you keep going.

But he's keeping track.

:))))

And it'll definitely come back to bite you.

"You really thought you'd get away with that?"

"Did my baby forget who's in charge?"

"What kind of punishment do you think you deserve?"

It's a trap, don't answer.

Because whatever you say will be wrong.

If you're thinking you got a one-way ticket to rough sex you are also wrong.

He will hold a grudge.

And he will fuck you over when you aren't expecting it.

Let's say you wanna cook dinner.

He offers to help.

:))))))

You're there, minding your business, chopping up some veggies.

He comes up behind you, all sweet and innocent.

His arms loosely around your waist.

Until he pushes forward and you're trapped between him and the counter.

You wonder why he's like this but then you remember.

:))))))))

You're trying to focus because you know he wants you to give up.

But he's got a plan.

His arms tighten around your waist and he leans down to press kisses on your neck.

He's still eyeing the hand holding the knife.

"Think you can do something for me?"

"If you can finish prepping those, you have permission to cum whenever you want."

Another funishment I think he'd be into is making you wear a vibrator that he can control.

But you have to be super busy.

Errands to run, homework to do, studying for a test.

You have to be doomed from the start, essentially.

Because then he has a reason to talk shit.

"C'mon, baby, we're just walking around the store."

"Focus, baby, you can do it."

"See? You're doing so well."

"If you can finish this assignment on a higher setting, I might let you cum."

You get princess treatment afterwards, lemme tell you.

He has pajamas set up but you have to bathe first.

But you don't have to do anything.

He bathes the both of you so can just relax in the water.

The bath is completely PG. No dirty thoughts bc he knows you're tired.

Shampoos and conditions your hair.

Gently washes your body, being extra careful where he knows you're sensitive.

Dries you off :((

And does the hair wrap thing :((((

Puts the pjs on you and goes to get some water.

He lets you pick a movie.

Not that you'll be awake for it, he just knows you like background noise.

He just puts on pajama bottoms so you can fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat :(( <3

That one's for me bc I love that shit

The second you wake up, best believe you'll have all the food you can think of in front of you.

[reasonsforhope]

Sorry, im kinda freaking out beacuse i read on positive news that the un published a paper saying the earth might warm up above 3° degrees if we dont take massive action :(

I thought the predictions were now between 1,5° and 2 ? Sorry for my bad english it's just upsetting

I totally get it. Of course that's upsetting.

As for the predictions, the thing is, there are a bajillion variables in these models - around human action, around different country's actions, and around all of the many, many, many things about the weather and ecosystems that we don't understand.

For scientists, part of their job is modeling and predicting the entire realm of possibility.

You're right that most people/sources don't think warming will get that high anymore. Core predictions are right now mostly between 1.5 and 2.5, with a lot of mainstream predictions saying that if we stay on the current path, we'll likely end up peaking around 2.3 degrees. Which would suck, admittedly! And 3 degrees or a bit more is still within the realm of possibility, which also sucks!

For what it's worth, though, I genuinely think we'll be able to keep warming under 2 degrees. To my research/understanding, right now 3 degrees is possible but a lot less likely - one of the less likely predictions in general, or else a lot more scientists would be saying 3 degrees, and we'd all hear that number all over the place and be scared.

Edit: I did find the UN report that the article was presumably referencing. And yeah, I hate to see it. But again: WE DO NOT KNOW FOR SURE. Iirc the last IEA report said we're on track for 2.3. The exact methodology and models can change a lot about the end result, so it's very common for reports to disagree, and at this point, I do think "over 3 degrees" is an outlier. And that's if we stay on the current track - WHICH IS EXTREMELY UNLIKELY, BECAUSE WE'RE GETTING BETTER AND FIXING MORE THINGS WITH EVERY YEAR

Anyway, here's why it's no longer likely that we'll hit or surpass 3 degrees of warming, and why you can and should still have hope.

Climate change is growing exponentially. We know for a fact now that renewable energy, electric vehicles, costs of renewable energy, etc. are all improving way, way faster than ever before. And they're going to keep doing that. Over the rest of the decade, I genuinely think we're going to make so much more progress, so much faster, than models are currently predicting. Partly because we've only in the past couple years gotten proof that these paths ARE exponential. x, x, x, x, x

It would be super irresponsible of climate scientists and energy watchdogs to be optimistic with their numbers/outcomes. They KNOW how many politicians and oil companies would swoop in the SECOND there were . claims that we'll be fine without doing more, actually. Their job is to always make sure that someone is including the worst case scenarios, and that they don't start giving more optimistic numbers unless they're really, truly, completely confident in those numbers and improved models

The peak temperature we reach is NOT the temperature that we'll be stuck at forever. As we keep putting carbon back into ecosystems and restoring nature, we WILL take more carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere, which WILL let the planet start to cool back down again, as less carbon dioxide is in the air to trap heat, and more of it will go back to escaping into space. This probably won't be immediate after we hit net zero emissions, but if we drawdown enough carbon, it will happen. x, x, x

This article, posted by Positive.News, November 13, 2023

[tehamelie]

Various fine opinions on the meaning of life contained in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life:

*Unionize your workplace, alternatively turn it into a pirate ship and take to the high seas. It'll piss off management either way.

*Question everything.

*Look at what you think you know from a different perspective.

*The pursuit of profit at all costs can and will ruin the meaning of any work and also make you worse at it.

*Gender roles are not necessarily assigned at birth.

*The Catholic church is not well.

"God has blessed us so much I can't afford to feed you all any longer."

*Just because you're allowed doesn't mean you should.

*You should not, and will not, die to "keep China British."

*God has many ways to cook you to death, if He wants to.

*Straight sex is so damn boring.

*Don't just stampede towards the clitoris, Watson.

*Sport, like sex, only works between equal parties. Any other way and you invite horror and depravity. (That kid is definitely dead and the upperclassmen are just stomping on him anyway.)

*Actually, getting murdered playing rugby against adults two or three times your size is an excellent way to prepare you for fighting in a war.

*Even a good captain will be hated by their subordinates. This is the burden of command.

"We'll always need an army, and may God strike me down were it to be otherwise." *is immediately struck down by literal the hand of God*

*A fighting force is better served by a single soldier who actually wants to be there than twenty men who doesn't.

*There's a fine line between keeping one's cool in a heated situation and acting like you're on a bloody different planet when people are dying in front of you.

There are less than 4500 wild tigers left in the world. The "A tiger? In Africa?!" bit is less of a joke every year.

*In less than surprising news, killing people is bad for you. (It turns out, for psychologically healthy people, doing violence really hurts you as much as the victim.)

*Where is that fish?

*Theme restaurants could do with a bit of randomly mixed themes.

*Don't be afraid to ask the most idiotic questions about things you don't understand. That's how we learn.

*Oh ho it's the meaning of liver donation I get it now.

*The Galaxy Song is fun and all but don't give in to misanthropy.

*Matter is energy, the human soul grows with care and attention, and people aren't wearing enough hats.

*Actually, the movie makes a staggering point here and buries it with distracting nonsense jokes, while also making the point that we get sidetracked from self-actualization by distracting nonsense jokes. It's a point sandwich with joke filling.

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? Shout out to happy penis havers, though I'm not one myself.

*M Creosote shows us that single-minded devotion to one's mission in life (eating an entire upscale French restaurant in one sitting, for example) will leave you unhappy and alone.

*Dunk antisemites in buckets of vomit.

*Gaston, the middle aged waiter, delivers a coherent personal philosophy as he walks us to the cottage where he was born. The significance of this cannot be overestimated. He decided to be a waiter, you see. Because he believes in something. It's a simple belief of giving, of loving people and bringing them joy. But be believes it with all his heart and he'll fight for the right to live the life he chose.

*If you have to die, but can choose the manner of your execution, try being hounded to death by naked women.

*See the world in a grain of sand, or a maple leaf as it were.

*Terry Pratchett was a great man and a great writer, but he's wrong about one thing: Death is relative. No, no, you can't argue away Death or shoot him, but he is subject to the laws of relativity. Consider the stars in the sky; at least one star that's visible to the naked eye I hear may be dead right now - it's 500 light years away and they think it may go supernova at any point within 500 years from now. But here, locally, the star still lives; there's no possible reality where it's gone until the light of its explosion reaches us.

*Heaven is a fantastically cheesy musical theater performance with angel santa claus strippers and a lead singer you just want to punch. Clearly we need to build something better here on Earth.

*Be nice, read books, take a walk sometimes, and try to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations. Obviously.

*[The producers] hope that other fish will follow [the example of the movie] so that, in future, fish all over the world will live together in harmony and understanding, and put aside their petty differences, stop hunting and eating each other and live for a brighter, better future for all fish and those who love them. Yes, clearly this is about fish.

[crusty-chronicles]

sorry if this is a bad time to request and feel free to put this off till whenever or even delete it if you're sick of airheaded stronk s/o asks

I was wondering, could you do short headcanons about how hiei and/or kurama with a stronk/airhead s/o would react to someone random or even a minor antagonist actively being rude their s/o while they're in earshot

[for a more specfic example maybe that eyeball at the gate of betrayal calls their attempted sacrifice foolish or the pretty boy purple guy from the dark tournment says smth like "it's a shame such a pretty face is wasted on such a brainless oaf" which has the added bonus(?) of sounding underhandedly flirtatious.]

again no pressure to write this quickly or at all. i just figured i'd throw it in your ask box incase it interested you at all.

Also entirley seperate question but would you be willing to cover roroanora zoro in your stronk/airhead s/o series?

BONUS AIRHEADED S/O DRABBLES: How they react to someone insulting their S/O

An: Of course I don't mind! Never be afraid to request things, it just might take me a little bit to get to them but really I enjoy doing them!

--------------------

Kurama:

More than likely it would be a comment from Yomi or Kaito that would make him lose his cool. For this instance though, we'll go with the latter.

🦊🦊🦊🦊

It was a little after Botan got her soul stolen that Kaito decided to run his mouth. You having been kidnapped with Yusuke because where one went, the other followed. Much to Kurama's dismay.

"You've got me curious, playing house with a human I'd figure would be so far below you. Do you find them amusing? Maybe think of them as some sort of plaything? A way to keep yourself entertained?"

The taunt was an attempt to make the fox demon slip up. And it seemed to be working judging by his glare and increase in spirit energy.

"Did I strike a nerve? Don't tell me the great Yoko Kurama is actually infatuated with a human. And not a very bright one at that." There was a smirk on his face that only grew seeing Kurama manipulate the plants around him. Knowing he couldn't physically hurt him at the moment.

"You should have seen them. Getting all worked up over Urameshi being immobilized, only to fall for the exact same trap. It was almost too easy. Even when being told moving was useless, they still struggled. Yelling out curses and promises to...what was it? Oh yes, 'kick out asses' I believe. I never would have pegged you as the type to go after a stupid brute."

His cackling was soon disrupted by the sound of Kurama's voice. Speaking up at last with a tone so cruel, it temporarily frightened Kaito.

"You should hope I don't find a loophole around your no violence rule. Because if I do, you'll regret every last word." Eyes glowing an eerie golden.

When he finally bested the snarky human, he half thought to just crush his soul. No only because he put his friends in harm's way, but he also insulted you.

Insulted his relationship with you.

Buuuut, Kurama wasn't exactly allowed to end a human's life. And he refused to stoop that low anyways.

No, he'd just leave Kaito the way he was and focus instead on getting you and Yusuke back safely.

Overall he's petty about it, but not angry enough to lash out. He'll let it go for now....But if it happens again all bets are off.

----------------------

Hiei:

For Hiei it is most definitely Shishi that gets to him. I feel like maze castle is a little too early for him to get mad at someone making fun of you. Maybe a comment of 'A foolish sacrifice and yet you're the one who's dead'. But if it's during the dark tournament on the other hand 👀👀👀

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

Kuwabara had just gotten teleported to who knows where. Leaving you, Hiei, and Kurama left to fight. It was just your luck that the die landed on your name. The other once again on Shishi's.

"Oh great, another bumbling idiot. At least this one is easier on the eyes." The demon commented as you made your way onto the arena.

Already Hiei could feel his blood start to boil. Disliking the way Shishi seemed to look you up and down.

"Perhaps defeating you will boost my popularity. Just don't die so quickly. I want to be able to entertain my fans."

You were already getting tired of this guy yapping. And it didn't help that he made your best friend vanish into thin air.

"I wouldn't be so sure about you beating me."

But at your comment, he only grew angry and snapped.

"Are you delusional or just that stupid? You think I would let a mere human beat me? Especially one as klutzy as you."

You were not a fighter to be underestimated. Hiei knew that firsthand. Yet you continued to let that cretin berate you as you fought.

For some reason that made him furious. Wanting to both put him in his place and let you teach that bastard a lesson. He took a step forward. Already deciding that if you did indeed lose this fight, he'd be the one to beat that egotistical demon.

A firm grip on his wrist stopped him from taking another step forward.

"Refrain from doing anything foolish. I know you care for them, but you'd only be damaging their pride more by stepping in." Kurama scolded.

The words temporarily snapping Hiei out of his protective thoughts.

"Tch, I don't care for them."

Hiei is absolutely ready to throw hands on your behalf. Yes you're foolish, but you're his foolish human. The only one allowed to insult you is him.

------------------

MASTERLIST

[juanarc-thethird]

Team RWBY and JNPR are captured by the White Fang, but to pass the time, they play FMK, and Nora questions Jaune, FMK between Sienna Khan, Eve Taurus (Adam R63), and Ilia.

Jaune: I just want to say thank you very much. I don't know what would have happened if I had stayed with that crazy woman.

Sienna: No problem.

Jaune: I just have one question.

Sienna: Hmm?

Jaune: Why are we still tied up?

Sienna: It's simple. We didn't come to rescue you. We went to rescue the priest, he is a very important person in our community. He runs the orphanage and gives the homeless people food and a place to sleep.

Jaune: Wow, what a nice man.

Sienna: Indeed. But imagine my surprise when, upon rescuing him, I find the future heiress of Schnee Industries, Weiss Schnee, the champion for 4 consecutive years, the invincible girl, and our beloved Blake, the daughter of our previous leader. So, I'm going to-

Jaune: -use them to get money in exchange for their freedom?

Sienna: Y-Yes. How did you know I was going to say that?

Jaune: The way you said it was too obvious.

Sienna: O-Oh

Eve: *Slaps him*

Jaune: What the fuck!

Eve: How dare you disrespect our leader!

Sienna: Eve, stop! I don't think that was his intention. Thinking about it, I think I was very obvious with my plans.

Ilia: Sienna, forgive me for interrupting you. I keep trying to call Beacon academy about the ransom cost but they don't answer.

Sienna: What?! What could be more important than his students?

Meanwhile:

Prof. Ozpin is drinking a large jar of super concentrated coffee, while the other professors cheer him on.

Port/Oobleck: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Back to the White Fang.

Sienna: *Sighs* Just keep trying.

Ilia: Yes ma'am.

Sienna: Looks like we'll have to wait until they answer.

Silence

Nora: I know a game we can play to pass the time.

Jaune: Nora, if you say the FMK game again, I swear to Oum I'm going to....

Nora: I was going to say charades but that game is so much better. Thank you Jaune!!

Jaune: Wait no! Your game is much better!!!!

Nora: Jaune who would you Fuck, Marry, or Kill? Sienna, Eve, or Ilia!

Sienna: Excuse me?

Eve: WHAT?!

Ilia: Eh?!

Jaune: I hate you!

Nora: And I love you! Now, answer the question.

Jaune: No!

Nora: Say it!

Jaune: I don't wanna!

Nora: Say it you pussy!!

Jaune: Fuck you!

Nora: Fuck me then! I'm right here!

Jaune: *Blushing* What?!

Nora: You heard me. Be a man and fuck me!

Jaune: Ok this is getting really weird.

Nora: The only weird thing here is that you're not fucking me!

Sienna: Enough!! You, John...

Jaune: Is Jaune.

Sienna: Whatever. I'll let you and your friends go if you answer her question.

Jaune: Really? Why that?

Sienna: To be honest, I'm curious.

Jaune: Ok, if you're going to let us go… I'd fuck Eve…

Eve: I will never fornicate with a human!

Jaune: Marry Sienna...

Sienna: I see~

Jaune: ...and kill Ilia.

Ilia: Wait a minute, you would kill me. But would you fuck Eve? Do you have a death wish?

Jaune: What can I say, with that attitude it makes me want to fuck her.

Eve: Excuse me?!

Jaune: Just think about it, a girl with her attitude, being dominated by her enemy. And little by little she lets herself be tamed until she is addicted to the dick.

Sienna: That sounds very hot.

Blake: So hot

Ilia: Yes, I can see it. Very hot. Good choice.

Eve: *Blushing* Eh?! I would never let myself be defeated by something so lewd!

Blake: Oh~ I think she likes the idea.

Eve: *Red* Of course not!!

Sienna: Yes, she likes it. Do you want me to leave you alone with him?

Eve: NO!!!

Sienna: *Laughs* Don't worry, we're just playing.

Eve: I hate you all.

Sienna: Anyways, why would you marry me?

Jaune: Well, I was thinking that if I could marry you, I would love to see your face every morning when I wake up.

Sienna: Do tell~

Jaune: and maybe have a little one who wakes us up with all his or her energy by jumping on the bed.

Sienna: *Blushing* O-Oh! I see.

Ilia: Ok, that sounds really good. You're right, it was the best choice to kill me. 10 out of 10. I will die for you again.

Jaune: Thank you. So…

Jaune: ...can we go now?