#anyway yeah weird au thoughts Im thinking again like 4 months later

[redrobin-detective]

I’ve been kind of brain dead for ideas lately but an old one that I was batting around the other day was, following Jack Drake’s death everyone was scrambling to figure out what to do with Tim. Bruce wanted to adopt him, Dana was going to take him when she was well enough, Dick probably threw his hat into the ring to give the kid options.

Now Tim has this grand scheme to circumvent all this by hiring an actor to portray a made-up uncle but he looks out at the city one night and is Tired. This city stole his peace, bits of his flesh, his friends and now his dad. Suddenly he doesn’t want to live there anymore. He makes a phone call and a few days later, he’s on a bus to Smallville to be fostered by Martha Kent.

Kon was a little surprised at the call but Martha didn’t hesitate to sign those papers. She’d seen the fallout of Tim when his mother died, if no one else would take care of Tim then she would. He arrives with a backpack full of clothes and a U-Haul of computer equipment which he sets up in the back guest room barely leaving room for a bed.

He goes to Smallville High with Conner, eats an early, homemade dinner by Ma who kisses his forehead before he Zetas back to Gotham for patrol. He’s still Robin, still fights and bleeds for Gotham. But he can’t live there, not right now. Bruce is doing his pouty hurt dad routine, Dick thinks he’s trying to make a move on Kon but really Tim is tired of the brutality of the city and wants some peace for once in his life. He Zetas back early in the morning, quietly knocks on Ma’s door so she knows he’s back and heads to bed.

His allergies give him hell in the country but he still insists on helping Kon with chores. Conner laughs at how badly he fumbles through livestock feeding and crop tending and starts working on ways to make it more efficient. He sleeps through class and spars out in the open fields and, when he’s feeling homesick, Kon will fly him real high and drop him and he can pretend like he’s just dived off a skyscraper. Martha reminds him to eat, to sleep, to wash behind his ears and stop looking at gruesome crime scene photos at the dinner table. Tim’s never had a happy, normal family situation. It unnerves him but it soothes him too as he works, really works, on some of his more self-destructive habits. For Ma’s sake. Martha knows this is only temporary, that Tim can’t, won’t, stay away from Gotham forever. But she drapes a blanket over his shoulder where he’s fallen asleep 5 minutes into a movie on the couch and brushes his hair out of his sleep deprived eyes. She loves Bruce like a second son but Tim is her baby now too and she’ll tear B to shreds if he doesn’t properly care for Tim when he returns.

Kon and Tim, who’d been kind of dancing around their feelings for years, are now in an equally strange dynamic of ‘are we brothers now? are you just a bud crashing indefinitely at my house? we come and go from Titans Tower together what does everyone THINK is happening???’ and settle for just doing nothing. They do stay up late on nights Tim isn’t in Gotham talking about bad tv shows and how lame school is and rocket ships and the latest supervillain scandal. As weird as the situation is, Tim looks happier and healthier than he has in ages. Plus it’s kinda rad to have a sleepover with your best friend every night. As far as he is concerned, Tim never has to step foot in Gotham again.

Clark comes back to the farm from a long space mission to find Batman’s latest sidekick typing up a storm typing on a computer with one hand and stirring soup with the other. “Sup,” Tim mumbles as he remains focused on both his tasks. “Sorry, guest room is mine now. I’d offer it up but it’s a pretty tight fit in there with all my gear.” And that’s how he found out his Mom may or may not have legally kidnapped Batman’s sorta maybe I guess not kid from under his nose and he’s Clark’s unofficial little brother. All he knows is Bruce is going to be a nightmare at the next League meeting.

[kimvvantae]

puzzle; 6 (m)

➜  you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?

pairing: jungkook x (f) reader

genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au

warnings: lots of swearing, unprotected sex (use condoms y’all kids)

rating: 18+

word count: 13k wooohoooooo

A/N: i listened to the same 4 songs over and over again while writing and i think it kind of sets the mood for this chapter so hm if you guys like listening to music while reading here goes a small playlist:

Jungkook - If you (read the lyrics pls)

Whitesnake - Is This Love

BTS - Jamais Vu

Sam Smith - Lay Me Down

enjoy!

➜  Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!

« playlist »

“You’re acting weird.”

You finally look up when you hear this, just to see Hoseok frowning at you.

“I’m not.” You’re quick to say, shrugging.

“You’re really acting weird. Is everything okay?” Hoseok insists, crossing his arms.

Hoseok is not what bothers you the most, though, but another pair of eyes watching you like a hawk.

Jimin knows why you’re acting weird. Since that day at Joy’s house, he has been staring at you like this constantly - half judging, half worried. 

It’s very annoying, to be honest.

“I’m just… a little bit stressed.” You admit, shrugging again. Fortunately, Hoseok isn’t as observant as Jimin, so he seems convinced.

“So, what did you guys want?” You ask, changing the topic. They came after you in the cafeteria while you have lunch after all.

“Ah! I almost forgot,” Hoseok starts. “You quit your job at the coffee shop, right?”

“Yes. It was way too stressful and my boss was a bitch.” You huff. 

“So you’ll be free this weekend?” He asks. You nod, but if he’s about to invite you to a party or something, you’re ready to say no. “The thing is, you know that me and Jimin have this job as waiters, right? There’s a wedding this weekend and they’re needing staff. So, if you’re interested, you can come with us on Saturday night. The payment is decent and it’s just easy stuff to do.”

Your mood lightens up at this. “Yeah, sure! I’ll go. I really need money right now.”

Hoseok smiles and claps his hands together. “Alright! I’ll send you all the information later. They’ll give you a uniform, so don’t worry about clothes. I have to go now. Bye!”

He leaves.

Jimin stays.

You just keep eating quietly, Jimin’s heavy gaze on you, until you finally get annoyed.

“Jimin, what do you want?” You cross your arms and glare back.

Jimin slowly quirks one eyebrow. “Won’t you ask me if Jungkook’s going?”

“Why would I ask if he’s going or not?”

“Because you guys aren’t talking anymore.”

“Thank you so much for reminding me of this, Jimin." 

He realised that he went a little too far just by seeing your clenched jaw and the anger in your eyes. Jimin sighs and shrugs. "Anyways, yes, Jungkook is going. But not to work as a waiter, he’ll take pictures instead.”

“So what?" 

Jimin swipes his hand over his face and shakes his head as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing. "I think you’re so stupid. Both of you. My fucking God.”

“You know what, Jimin? That’s none of your business.” You finally get up and take the tray rather roughly, walking away without looking back.

Maybe you were a little too rude with Jimin, but he’s being unbearable these days. 

It’s been one month since that day at Joy’s house - one month since you and Jungkook have been avoiding each other like the plague.

And maybe you were a little too rude with him because deep down, you know he’s right.

As usual.

tae: wyd?? 👀👀

you: working

tae: ??? didn’t u quit ur job

you: yea

you: it’s one night thing

you: i need the 💸💸

tae: oh

tae: ok

tae: i’ll ask later then

you: wAIT

you: ask what??????

tae: later

tae: u should work first~

you: but im curious

you: i can’t work if im curious >:(

tae: 🙊

you: tae????

you: taeeeeeeee

you: TAEHYUNG

He doesn’t reply anymore.

You groan, shoving your phone on your back pocket again, and leave the restroom. The guests hadn’t arrived yet since the wedding ceremony is still ongoing, but the kitchen is already a mess: people yelling orders, the delicious scent of good food in the air, cooks cooking (duh) and waiters getting ready. The boss has already given you the last instructions, but it’s not as if working in an event like this is a difficult task: serve the guests, smile, be polite, walk around the hall, try not to break the crystal glasses that cost more than what you can pay.

The hotel is pretty fancy, actually. You were expecting a smaller wedding. Not that this is a problem, of course. The only problem here are the heels that all women are forced to use; it’s not too high, but walking around endlessly the whole night in these will be painful for sure. The rest of the uniform is that standard - black pants, white button shirt, black vest and bow tie, hair tied in a perfect high bun, simple makeup. 

You walk to the hall to make the last adjustments in the decoration. Pretty much everything is in place, so there isn’t much to do. The tables are organized, the floor is pristinely clean, the white flower bouquets are in place. A DJ will be in charge of music tonight.

You stand at the back of the hall, almost hidden, just to check your phone once more; no new texts. Now, you can’t stop thinking about what Taehyung wants to ask. He knows you’d get all curious. You and Taehyung have grown closer these days: late phone calls, endless texts, random memes at random times. You hadn’t gone on a proper date yet, though - and you don’t think you want to.

Taehyung is a nice guy and a good friend, but you don’t want to take things to the next level - even though this seems to be Taehyung’s intention since the beginning. He has been insisting in you for quite a long time now meanwhile all you do is keep a certain distance. You didn’t really give him any real hopes yet and you’re afraid that Taehyung might be reading your actions in the wrong way. Truth be told, it’ll be so shitty of you to keep his hopes high when you won’t go anywhere with this.

Your feelings are all messed up. 

Because you shouldn’t even be feeling anything in the first place.

Ironically, you’ve never been friends with benefits with anyone before. You did have some fuck buddies in the past, though - but you were never friends with any of them. You never got involved with any of your actual friends. Sure, there was that night when drunk-you and drunk-Jimin made out at a party (you don’t talk about it), but at that time, you had just joined college and neither you nor Jungkook were close to Jimin yet, so it doesn’t really count. Also, you and Jimin never had sex - you just kissed, nothing more.

But of course dumb you had to be friends with benefits with your best fucking friend. Of course you had to destroy your friendship like that. Everyone knows that sex is a friendship destroyer. Everyone!

One month without Jungkook felt like being in the desert without rain. You have good friends, but none of them are that special person that’s somehow able to read you mind and understand you even if you don’t say anything. None of them know the type of meme you’d laugh at, none of them sent you random snaps at random times of the day. Worst of all - you didn’t watch Endgame together, when you’ve been watching every Marvel film together ever since you both started obsessing over heroes years ago. Every. Single. Marvel. Film.

You didn’t get to see Jungkook crying during the last scenes of Endgame. Jimin didn’t say if he cried or not, but you know he cried.

That’s devastating.

Truth be told, you don’t even miss sex. Sure, you and Jungkook are the perfect match in bed, and you caught yourself masturbating at night wishing it were Jungkook’s fingers inside of you instead (touching yourself has never been so depressing), but what you actually miss to the point it hurts your chest are the small, familiar things. The comfortable silence. The funny banter. Going to Burger King together late at night after a party or when none of you want to cook. Showing each other funny videos or discussing about the latest chapter of the manga you’re both reading. Jungkook ignoring your texts for hours because he’s too focused on playing Overwatch. You even miss the way he never lets you eat the last slice of pizza, goddammit.

You simply miss him.

What leads you to another thought - something that has been growing stronger in your mind.

After days of self denial, you finally admitted that you were jealous of Jungkook and Joy.

There’s no other explanation for the way you acted that day at her house. You were mad that she was touching him and getting too close. That’s weird. You’ve never really been the jealous type. You never minded when people tried to flirt with Jungkook.

You’re not jealous of friends.

Even so, you had a jealousy attack and didn’t rest until Jungkook’s attention was yours again.

Being totally honest with yourself, you’ve been jealous of Joy ever since you found out she was interested in him.

…what the fuck?

Something inside of you have changed, and only now you’re brave enough to admit. Somewhere along the road, you stopped seeing Jungkook as just a friend. He’s currently in that blurry and confusing level - not only a friend, but at the same time, not more than a friend. You don’t know what the fuck he is anymore.

More importantly… do you want to be more than friends?

If you and Jungkook make up, will you be able to go back to what it was - just friends?

Or are you just being possessive? Did you start seeing him in a different way just because you realized you’re about to lose him?

You don’t know the answer to none of those questions. What you know at the moment is that being away from him fucking hurts. You have the same friends, go to the same places, study at the same university, but barely see each other anymore. What’s that thing people say? You just start valuing things after you lose them.

Jimin asked you not to play with Jungkook’s feelings. What he doesn’t know, though, is that you’re so confused about yours that you don’t have time to play with his feelings.

When you realize the guests are about to come, you force your brain to focus on your current task. You stand back with the rest of the waiters as, slowly, the elegant guests get into the hall, sitting at their respective tables, and soon the place is filled with conversation, laughter and music. 

After everyone took their places, the main couple finally come.

The lights change. The DJ plays a special song. Guests stand up and applaud when they enter the hall, smiling, and walk to the center to have their first dance as a married couple.

You could have noticed how the bride’s dress was beautiful. You could have noticed how her front teeth was dirty with lipstick and how the groom tried to discreetly tell her about this. You could have even noticed how one of the kids was starting to have a tantrum and his mother half-screamed, half-whispered, if you don’t be quiet you’ll be grounded for one month!

But you don’t notice any of that, because the photographer enters the hall right after the couple does.

Your heart flutters in a funny way.

Jungkook is wearing a suit (you don’t even remember the last time you saw him in a suit); black and simple, but it fits him so well. He isn’t much different from all the other man, except for his long hair - his black hair is so long he can probably tie it now - and his ear piercings. He holds his camera to eye level, capturing every moment he can from the couple’s first dance, a backpack with other tools hanging from his shoulder. 

Everyone else is focusing on the couple - but you can’t look at anything else but him.

He looks so handsome and focused and hot and-

Hey, you’re here to work!, you remind yourself angrily, shaking your head and walking back to the kitchen.

Drink after drink, tray after tray - you and the other waiters and waitresses walk around the hall to serve the guests. It’s not a difficult work, but still tiring nevertheless. It’s also hard to balance yourself and the trays with these high heels. Soon, you’re immersed in the work and momentarily forget about everything else, although (unconsciously) you try to avoid being seen by a specific someone.

Time passes by and the party goes on. Parents make heartfelt speeches, everyone cries. The DJ plays popular songs and soon the dancefloor is full. Alcohol already starts to get into their heads. Men are either speaking and laughing too loud or crying, hugging the groom. Women already forgot their high heels and their elegance, twerking shamelessly and screaming. Kids do the usual - run, yell, fall and cry - and they almost throw you on the ground twice. Someone spills champagne on the floor; you rush to clean it before someone ends up slipping. There’s the eventual noise of glass breaking. A certain dude has asked for your help far too much and you start to avoid him, noticing that he’s staring at your ass. Another guest pukes and is taken to the infirmary. As usual, you hear old women complaining about the food, how the decoration is ugly, how one waiter was rude, how the DJ doesn’t play the songs they want-

“The photographer is so hot! What’s his name?!” You hear someone giggling.

You gulp.

Jungkook is just doing his job, but that boy can’t go unnoticed, not even when he tries. You don’t know if he saw you yet, and honestly, you hope he didn’t.

Just do your job. Just do your job.

The night goes on. Your left foot hurts and you need to pee, but gladly most of the guests have already left - the groom and bride left first and the party went on without them -, the hall is almost empty, which means it’s almost ending. Now, you busy yourself with cleaning the hall.

“Man, I’m dead,” Hoseok groans, stretching his back. You nod, putting some empty glasses on a tray to take them back to the kitchen.

“Now imagine bearing it all in heels,” you say, not being able to keep your nice posture anymore. Not that there are many guests anyway - most are too drunk or sleeping on the tables. The DJ is still diligently playing, though. 

“The night was productive after all,” Jimin chirps happily, approaching you two with a smug  grin on his lips. You see he’s holding a small paper between his fingers… someone’s phone number.

“Son of a bitch,” you say under your breath. Jimin just shrugs and smirks. Much obviously, you apologized for your rudeness before you came. The fact that he forgave you so easily made everything worse, honestly. Jimin is a nice guy with his friends (way too nice for his own good sometimes) and it just shows how he doesn’t deserve to be treated in a rude way.

“I’m just taking the chances life gives me!” He chirps again, making you roll your eyes.

“Anyways, what’s wrong with Jungkook?” Hoseok wonders, crossing his arms and frowning. “He didn’t come over the entire night. Is he avoiding us?”

You gulp.

Instantly, your eyes travel to where he stands in the nearly-empty dance floor. He smiles politely to some women that stand around him. Everyone’s obviously too drunk and they’re probably talking nonsense.

He’s avoiding me, you realize sadly. 

“He’s working, Hoseok. His job won’t end if the guests keep asking for pictures.” Jimin is quick to say, what indeed makes sense, but Jimin also knows very well why he has been keeping his distance. Hoseok is the only one that doesn’t notice the strange tension in the air.

When you notice you’ve been staring for an embarrassing long time, you immediately shift your gaze to the dirty plates in front of you, organizing them in a pile to take them to the kitchen. You came here to work. That’s it. Focus-

An excited scream tears the air.

“I loooove this song!” One of the girls on the dance floor scream, the one that has been clinging on Jungkook ever since the crowd started to dissipate. Much obviously tipsy, her eyes were glued on him the entire night (not that you’ve been noticing the people checking him out. Of course not). “Jungkookie, dance with me!”

You almost gasp.

Jungkookie?!

That’s when you finally notice the face Jungkook is making - and you try your best not to laugh.

He has that look that means oh my fucking God someone please take me out of this situation.

The two boys by your side don’t try to hide the laughter as well as you, watching the desperate Jungkook try to turn her offer down - an awkward smile, eyes shifting from her, a muttered apology (I still have some work to do…) but the thirsty girl is surprisingly insistent (you can stop for a little bit, come on!).

“I feel sorry for him,” Hoseok almost chokes as he tries to stop his giggles. You kind of feel sorry, too. He can’t be rude to a customer, otherwise he’d be punched by her relatives - not that Jungkook would be rude anyway. He steps back, scratches the back of his neck. The girl is almost climbing him. He looks around desperately, trying to find a way to escape-

“Why don’t you help him, Y/N?” Jimin says sweetly.

You side eye the sugar-coated snake you call friend. “Jimin.” Is all you say in a warning manner.

Someone that doesn’t understand the situation wouldn’t think anything weird, because you’re actually used to save Jungkook from crazy girls. The thing is, sometimes he’s too nice to turn girls down - and yes, girls do chase him. When he’s not interested in them, you’d usually understand the situation and run on his rescue, most times pretending to be his girlfriend so the girls would stop bothering him. It’s something funny and you’d always laugh your asses off right after.

Not now.

You definitely don’t want to laugh now.

Jimin is being far from innocent. He just wants to push you two into each other. He may have good intentions, but he’s not considering the fact that you don’t feel ready to face Jungkook - not when your feelings are so messed up. This ain’t happening.

“Yeah, Y/N. Jungkook looks pretty desperate,” Hoseok remarks, again, oblivious to the tension lingering in the air.

“Jungkook can handle himself very well. He doesn’t need my help.” Even though Jimin feels your menacing glare and sees your jaw clench, this boy is very brave and insists:

“Come on, Y/N! It won’t hurt.” He says innocently.

Yes, it will hurt. It already hurts, dumbass.

“Did you guys forget that we’re here to work? I don’t want to be reprimanded.”

“The hall is near empty. There’s literally nothing to do anymore.” Hoseok doesn’t understand why you’re glaring at him now.

You’re trying to control your nerves, but it’s getting hard not to feel your stomach jump in a weird way and your fingertips tremble. Just the idea of approaching him makes you weak, and not in a good way. Why these people can’t just leave you alone?!

“Do you think that avoiding him forever will work?” Jimin hisses on your ear, low enough so only you can listen, finally showing how pissed he really is.

What he says gets you.

Avoiding each other isn’t working, you know this very well. You remember the way you used to deal with things in the past - talking. Sure, you won’t be able to really talk right now, but at least you’ll have a chance to approach him.

You don’t want to. You really don’t. But at the same time, you want to. You miss Jungkook. 

Besides, he can’t run away from you in this situation.

You take a deep breath and gulp, trying to ease the tension. Come on. I know Jungkook. He’s the same bastard I’ve known my whole life. Stop being a pussy. I’m not a pussy!

“Just to make clear,” you whisper back to Jimin. “I fucking hate you.”

“You love me.” You wish you could rip that triumphant smirk off his face.

You walk over to the dance floor.

The few couples dance slowly and intimately. Because of course it had to be a slow dance. Of course it had to be a romantic song. Haha. Of course. The Universe must be playing some trick on you. 

Jungkook managed to run away from the girl, trying to hide in the corner of the hall, and she’s searching for him like a hawk. You wonder if she’s this drunk or if she’s just stupid. A guy literally running away from you isn’t already a message enough?

You walk quickly to where he stands, and the moment Jungkook turns around and lays his eyes on you, shock covers his features.

“Y/N-?”

“Quick, dance with me,” you say hurriedly, placing his hands on your waist. “She’s coming.”

Instead of questioning, Jungkook immediately starts to play along as you place your own hands on his shoulders. You discreetly watch when the girl finally finds you.

She stops on her tracks.

“She saw us?” He asks without looking back.

“Yes.”

“And?”

You see fire in her eyes.

“If she had a gun, she’d probably shoot me.” The girl looks outraged that you stole her chance to grind on him. “Oh, she’s turning away.”

Jungkook sighs in relief. “Thanks God. She’s been bothering me all night!” You can’t help but giggle.

For a millisecond, it feels like nothing has changed.

But then you look at each other for the first time.

It might be dramatic, but you almost feel that the temperature drops around you.

Oh shit.

You avoid each other’s gazes at the same time. It feels so tremendously awkward to be in front of him again - especially when you’re slow dancing in the dim light of the hall, almost hidden. It feels uncomfortably intimate. Especially because you’re both keeping a distance that normal couples wouldn’t. You probably look like a weird couple at a prom party that were forced to dance together.

It feels foreign.

The way you touch each other doesn’t feel right. You have touched each other in the most intimate and obscene ways, yet the simple touch of his hands on your waist doesn’t feel right. Despite this, you feel your blood boiling with a strange type of excitement; you missed him so damn much. Even in this uncomfortable situation, you can’t help but feel a little bit happy. You didn’t know you’ve been craving for his touch so much up until now.

What’s weird is that you don’t even feel like this in a sexual way. You’re not aroused. Considering how your relationship became strictly sexual these past months, your lack of arousal to be around him is weird.

The butterflies in your stomach and the way your hands are shaking a little bit is also weird.

For some moments, you just sway from side to side in an overwhelming silence. You have no choice but to listen intently to the song being played. As if you already don’t feel fucked up enough, you’re forced to listen to a love song - an 80s love song on top of that. Of course it has to be Is This Love by Whitesnake. Of course. Haha.

“Uhm… thanks.” Jungkook finally breaks the silence. His voice lacks confidence. He probably never talked to you like this.

“Just helping out a friend,” you say and instant regret smashes you. You don’t know if he’s still your friend. 

Jungkook looks scarily annoyed for a second. “A friend. Sure.”

Is it inappropriate to notice how he looks handsome when he clenches his jaw?

Honestly, has Jungkook always been this handsome?

Sure, he has always been like this. Maybe not seeing him in a long time made you feel this way. His hair has grown a lot. He looks extra fine in this suit. Every man looks better in a suit, but Jungkook looks like a deity. 

The butterflies in your stomach are going crazy.

You did miss him a lot. 

The silence makes you pay attention to the song again.

Wasted days and sleepless nights

But I can’t wait to see you again…

Hah, I know how it feels, you think - what makes you widen your eyes, shocked with your own thoughts. No. You won’t suddenly relate to a cliche 80s love song. 

Right?

“H-How’s school going?” You stutter. Are you trying to do small talk? For real?

“It’s doing fine,” he simply says. Oh fuck. Not good. He sounds so uninterested in your weak attempt at engaging a conversation it hurts. You came here to try and talk about what really matters, but you don’t feel ready to do it yet. Can’t he understand it?!

It looks like your presence bothers him, honestly.

That’s new.

Wow. Your heart suddenly feels clenched.

Awkward.

Why am I feeling this way?

A heavy silence weighs on you again. This isn’t going as planned - not that you planned anything in the first place. You’re going through a lot of weird sensations now.

Why is that?

You look at Jungkook timidly (timid and Jungkook are two words that used to not make any sense together in the past), but he doesn’t look back. You avoid his gaze again.

Being hit by a truck would hurt less.

What’s happening?

Why are you so damn confused?

When the song hits its chorus, you start to think the Universe is definitely playing with you. The deep voice of the singer floats in the air:

Is this love 

That I’m feeling?

Is this the love

That I’ve been searching for?

Fuck you, Whitesnake. 

For real. 

Fuck. You.

“Did Taehyung ask you?”

This brings you back to reality in an instant.

“What?” You look at him, confused. Why is he talking about Taehyung of all people out of nowhere?

You’ve always been very good at reading Jungkook, but right now, he’s unreadable.

“So he didn’t.” He says blatantly, devoid of any emotion. “I thought he would have already.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He talked to me about a double date.” Jungkook replies, looking back at you for the first time - again, a blank face. “You and him, me and Joy.”

Your blood honestly feels like frost.

It’s like you lost the ability to move or talk for a moment. You blink and gulp, trying to keep composed.

“What? Why?”

“Because he said it’d be fun. And less awkward, since I’m not very close to Joy yet and you’re not very close to him.”

Again, you don’t say anything for long seconds.

“But we’d just be cockblocking each other during the whole date,” you say.

“I know. I think the idea of a double date sounds weird, too. It’s not as if we don’t know them.”

You remember what Taehyung texted you earlier today; he said he’d ask something later. Is he going to ask you out?

He thinks that, since you and Jungkook are best friends, you could ease the tension and even help each other out.

This is so fucked up.

The immediate answer that comes to your mind is no. You don’t want to go on a date with Taehyung when you’re not interested in him. It’d be cruel; you don’t want to keep his hopes high. 

But as you’re about to say it, you stop.

What if Jungkook wants to go?

All this time, you’ve only been considering your feelings. Your confusion, your wishes - it’s always about you. You don’t know if you want to be just Jungkook’s friend, but you don’t know if he wants to be more than a friend - or if he wants to be your friend at all. The fuck buddies thing started because you asked. Not even once did you think about him.

Is this what Jimin meant when he asked you to not play with Jungkook’s feelings?

How selfish you’ve been acting all this time?

What if he’s been developing feelings for Joy and now decided to try something? He’s probably feeling hurt because you’ve not been acting like a good friend. You’re always putting yourself first.

That’s why you hear yourself asking:

“Do you want to go?”

It’s scary how every tiny little piece of you wishes he’ll say no.

But Jungkook tilts his head and says:

“Yes. I know it sounds weird, but we can part ways as soon as we get there.”

And this is the moment you feel as cold as you’ve never felt in your life.

It’s as if your ears got obstructed for a moment, because you can’t hear anything but your heartbeat. You can’t even see properly for a second. Yet, you ignore all that, gulp and nod.

It’s time to be a good friend for once.

It’s time to put Jungkook’s wishes first - even though it crushes your heart.

“Okay.” You say quietly.

You’re coming to the conclusion that you’re a walking disaster.

You’ve never been so nervous before a date in your life - but this is not the usual type of nervousness, when people are excited to meet their crush and impress them etc etc. You’re nervous because you don’t want to go. You thought of coming up with a thousand excuses (from the classical “I’m sick :(” to “Seulgi’s sick I gotta take care of her :(” to “my cat’s sick :(” but then you remembered you don’t have a cat to “I’m being chased by the police and I gotta leave the country :(”), but in the end, you couldn’t bring yourself to lie.

Not when Taehyung sounded so painfully happy when you said you’d go.

That’s why you should have said no: Taehyung doesn’t deserve this. He’s a good person and he will certainly get hurt when you tell him you’re not interested. Who cares about Jungkook? That fucker can go on a date by himself, he’s not a kid anymore.

But…

There’s something very tiny and mean inside of you called jealousy that didn’t let you simply text an honest apology to Taehyung.

And now it’s too late, because he’s standing at your door.

Handsome as always, Taehyung wears casual clothes: it’s almost as if he didn’t put much thought on it, but he still looks drop dead gorgeous on his black baggy pants, white shirt and black beret (no other man in this planet can manage to not look stupid in a beret other than Taehyung). As usual, your brain malfunctions as it tries to process his beauty.

He has a small, beautiful smile on his lips.

Shit.

“You look beautiful,” he says, and he sounds like he means it. You did put some effort on your clothes, makeup and hair after all. Being complimented by him feels nice.

Shit.

“Thanks. You too, but that’s just your usual self,” you say thoughtlessly and instant regret slaps your face again. Yes, bitch. Flirt with him. Make things more difficult.

Taehyung looks shy for a moment. The sight is endearing.

S. H. I. T.

“You’re just being nice to me.” He tilts his head. “So, let’s go?" 

It’s too late to go back now, so you have no choice but to take his arm and show your most plastic smile. "Yeah.”

You’re definitely a walking disaster.

You two arrive in the park first and, instead of just showing your tickets and getting in, you’re forced to wait for the bastard and his hot date.

An amusement park of all places.

Not that you hate amusement parks, it’s pretty much the opposite. It’s just that everything feels so wrong. Especially how Taehyung is making a lot of effort to keep the conversation alive while you wait. It’s not hard to talk to him, though, because he’s an interesting person, but seeing his efforts hurts.

What hurts more is the sight of Jungkook and Joy arriving with locked arms.

You hope Taehyung didn’t notice you holding your breath.

Joy looks hot as always, but you don’t even look at her (yes, it’s not nice to be mad at someone that didn’t do anything wrong), eyes glued on Jungkook instead. Just like Taehyung, it seems that he didn’t put much thought on his clothes, only their styles are completely different: Jungkook wears an oversized grey t-shirt, black pants and sneakers. It might seem simple, but he can manage to look good in anything. Joy surely didn’t mind his choice of clothes.

You lock gazes for one second and proceed to avoid it.

The four of you greet. It’s hard to act natural, but you try to; you don’t want the two others to notice the weird tension between you and the black-haired bastard. Joy looks happy, too.

…

Shit.

Soon, you get into the amusement park. As expected, it’s crowded with kids, families and couples. The weather feels nice this afternoon.

“It’s been a long time since I don’t come to an amusement park,” you confess. 

“Really? Then this was a good choice. I was worried if it’d be too cheesy…” he also confesses sheepishly.

“It’s not!” You reassure him. Joy agrees with you. Jungkook keeps silent. “I just have some traumatizing memories about amusement parks.”

Taehyung quirks one eyebrow. “What?”

You sigh.

You and Jungkook end up saying in unison:

“5th grade.”

You look at each other and avoid your gazes again.

“What? What happened on 5th grade?” Joy asks excitedly.

“Our school came to an amusement park that year,” Jungkook explains.

“Why was it traumatizing?” Taehyung still seems confused.

“Because… well…” you hesitate to say.

“Because she was so short back then that they didn’t let her go on the rollercoasters. And she cried the whole trip,” Jungkook suddenly says.

You glare at him.

He has a playful smirk on his lips.

“Oh, so what about you?” You can’t help but smile, too.

“What happened to him?” Joy asks.

“He laughed at me because I couldn’t ride, but he puked his lunch after he went on the coaster and spent half of the trip in the infirmary,” you reveal. 

“You’re still bitter that you stayed with me in the infirmary?” He inquires.

“Of course I am! Also, you puked on my shoes!”

“I already apologized. Besides, I paid you banana milk for two entire weeks. Isn’t it enough?”

“It isn’t!”

“Are you saying that banana milk isn’t enough?!” He gasps. “You psycho.”

You both giggle.

Again, for one moment, it feels that everything is back to normal. You feel comfortable having these old memories, as if you never stopped being best friends, as if you have the intimacy to play like this again.

But it’s only for one moment.

You avoid gazes. It feels so out of place. 

At least the sadness in Jungkook’s eyes shows that he feels the same about this all.

Before the tension between you two can become too strong, you change the topic and engage both Taehyung and Joy in the conversation - during that moment, you two forgot about them. As wrong as it is, Taehyung is your date for the night. He’s the one you should pay attention to.

So you try to completely ignore Jungkook’s existence for a while.

You only look at Taehyung and don’t even touch your phone. You answer his questions and ask things about him. It doesn’t feel like a punishment, though, because he is an interesting person and you genuinely enjoy his company.

But you can’t help but look at Jungkook from time to time.

You can’t help but notice his smiley-eyes as he looks at her.  You can’t help but see their closure.

You can’t help but feel your heart clenching.

And then, you see yourself locking your arm with Taehyung’s.

“What’s that?” You say excitedly. “I wanna see it!”

You drag Taehyung away from the other couple until they disappear in the crowd. Only then you remember how to breathe again.

Considering all the odds, this going better than you expected.

You tried your best to completely erase Jungkook’s and Joy’s existence from your mind, and at some point it finally worked. Taehyung is a funny guy to be around. There’s something very particular and endearing about his personality that captivates you; he’s obviously trying to impress you, but he’s still being very honest. He has some type of innocence that makes you realize that this guy is seriously one of a kind. You can’t think of a single sign that he might be a bad person.

You’re genuinely enjoy this.

But not in the way Taehyung expects you to be enjoying it. 

As wrong as it is, you unconsciously end up comparing him to Jungkook. 

If Jungkook was your date, the first thing you’d both want to do is try all the rollercoasters and the wildest rides in this park. But Taehyung is scared of heights. You didn’t want to make the boy vomit his own stomach, so you ended up avoiding it - even though you really wanted to go on that orange coaster that looks high as fuck.

Taehyung didn’t really get your jokes. The fact that he still laughed politely is cute, but still - Jungkook and you have the same sense of humor. You two like the same stupid type of meme. It felt strange when you had to explain more than once a certain joke so Taehyung could understand. 

Taehyung didn’t know your favorite ice cream flavor or your favorite soda. He doesn’t know the kind of movie you like, nor your favorite series, nor your favorite singers. You know you’re being stupid - the whole point of going on a date is to get to know each other, but every now and then you end up remembering how Jungkook knows every dumb detail about you…

What makes you realize that, as much as Taehyung is an amazing guy, you are too different from each other. 

What also makes you realize that, maybe… you don’t really want to get to know anyone else.

And suddenly, an image starts to build in your mind - an image you try very hard to erase, but it’s already too strong to be forgotten.

Instead of Taehyung, you arm is locked with Jungkook’s. You’re both laughing and having fun, just like things used to be. Only now you’re not just friends. 

It’s the first time in all these years that you see yourself dating Jungkook clearly. Painfully clearly.

The cotton candy you’re eating suddenly tastes like iron on your tongue. You feel your throat tightening. All of this became painful. The fact that you’re trying so hard to forget Jungkook for a few minutes, yet he’s everything you can think of. The fact that he’s in the same park as you having a date with another girl - said girl that is a friend, by the way, someone you encouraged to be with Jungkook, and now you’re hating her existence even though she did nothing wrong, all because of jealousy. There’s also the fact that Jungkook is much obviously avoiding you.

And the most painful fact of all-

“Are you okay, YN?” Taehyung asks, the smile vanishing from his lips the moment he sees your expression. 

The fact that this incredible person likes you much more than you expected. It’s obvious now that you look at his eyes. He really likes you - a funny, smart and special guy, someone that didn’t check his phone not even once ever since this date started, someone that has been trying his hardest to make sure you’re having fun, a guy that is usually very confident, but at the moment looks very uneasy around you.

He’s the perfect guy. He wasn’t disrespectful, wasn’t trying to get into your pants, treated you very well. You went on dates that were far worse than this. There was nothing wrong with him. You’re also sure he’d be a loving and caring boyfriend.

But all you can think of is Jungkook. 

And even though you knew this date wouldn’t work, you still accepted to come anyway. You kept Taehyung’s hopes high. Just because you were jealous.

You’re definitely the worst person on this planet.

But this has to end before Taehyung gets more hurt.

“I’m not feeling very well,” you hear yourself saying. Worry covers Taehyung’s features. “What’s the problem? Was it something you ate? Do you want to go to the infirmary?”

Damn. It hurts to see him like this.

“No. Can you… can you just take me home, please?” You ask sheepishly. 

If Taehyung feels disappointed, he doesn’t let you see; he just nods instead. “Okay. Let’s go.”

And this is how you managed to destroy a perfectly fine night.

You still try not to think of Jungkook and Joy on your way back home; you don’t want to know if they’re still in the park or if they went somewhere else. The idea of what they must be doing makes your stomach twirl in a bad way. It feels like a weight installed itself on your shoulders. Everything seems too oppressive and suffocating. You can’t wait to be alone and peaceful to process all of these feelings. Fortunately, Seulgi isn’t home - she went to sleep at a friend’s house to finish a project. 

For the first time, being with Taehyung feels awkward as you walk to the front door of your apartment. You can see he isn’t exactly glad. It makes everything worse.

You stop in front of the door and you turn around to face him. Everything you have to say must be said now.

“I’m so sorry, Taehyung.” You say in an embarrassed tone, scratching the back of your neck. “I ruined everything.”

“What? No!” He’s quick to reassure. God, his eyes are beautiful… “It’s not your fault. People feel ill, that’s normal.”

You gulp. Oh Gosh. He believed what you said. This is getting worse and worse… “I had a lot of fun today. Really.” You sigh and tilt your head tiredly. “Honestly, it was the most fun I had in a long time…”

“I had a lot of fun, too.” His smile is able to melt any frozen heart. “I noticed that you had a lot in mind, so I’m glad I was able to distract you at least a little.”

It gets you off guard. 

He’s way more observant than you expected.

“You noticed…?” You gulp, even more embarrassed. He nods. “I’m so sorry…”

“It’s fine. Everyone has a bad day every now and then. I just have to admit that I’m kind of worried about you.”

You stare at each other in silence for a while.

“Are you?” Why suddenly all you can do is make stupid questions?

Taehyung tilts his head. “Yes. You’re always such a bright person. Seeing you being quiet these days makes me sad.” First of all: did people start to realize that there’s something wrong with you? Are you acting this weird?

Second of all: that was adorable. He’s so honest about his feelings.

“To be honest, Taehyung… I’m not really a bright person,” you end up confessing in a quiet, weak voice. You don’t know why you’re saying this. You were supposed to push him away, not pull him closer. “I think I’m just used to pretend I am.”

“You don’t have to,” your eyes widen when you feel his fingertips brushing on your cheek as he gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “You don’t have to pretend you’re fine when you’re not. To suppress this type of feeling… it hurts. Believe me, I know.” For a moment, you feel your breath hitch. The skin where  his fingers touched feels warm. He’s mesmerizing. His voice sounds like a sweet melody on your ears: deep, silky. “So, if you ever feel like opening up… I’m here, okay?” He widens his eyes for a second. “I-I mean- you can open up to Seulgi or Jungkook or Jimin, sure… anyone.”

This moment of shyness coming from him makes you giggle. “I don’t feel like opening up to anyone right now,” especially not to you, you think. “but thank you, Tae. It… it makes me really happy. I’m glad I went on this date with you.”

You shouldn’t have said that.

You shouldn’t have called him Tae.

Even though you’re saying the truth and there’s no second intentions hidden, Taehyung hears something else. 

His hand is still resting on your cheek.

And he says nothing.

He just… stares right into your eyes.

You can’t move.

You clearly see when his face starts coming closer and closer to yours, slowly but surely. You see his heavy-lidded eyes, his clouded gaze, his parted lips. You feel the thick tension in the air around you - the electricity. 

That’s when you should have pushed him away.

But you can’t.

Instead, you unconsciously close your eyes. You feel his lips ghosting over yours for a second - until his lips finally touch yours.

The kiss is suave - gentle and delicate. He doesn’t move his lips at first, merely pressing his against yours. Your body warms up in a way you haven’t felt in a long time; not because of arousal. It’s the pure excitement of being kissed.

Maybe that’s why you let him kiss you. You had forgotten how it feels like to be touched without any sexual intention. Kisses are too intimate, so you and Jungkook didn’t really kiss that often - and when you did kiss, it was always heated and obscene, tongues entangling wildly until both of you could barely breathe. It’s been a long time since someone kissed and held you like this: with gentleness and care. Taehyung isn’t treating you like a sex toy.

You melt.

Your lips part as he deepens the kiss; he is undemanding, careful and delicate. His lips taste like lip balm. No one is fighting for control, no one is desperate. It’s slow and synchronized. It’s sweet and innocent. Most importantly - it’s way different than you ever expected it to be. You never thought he’d kiss like this.

When Taehyung pulls away, the purest smile adorns his features.

“I’m sorry.” He says quietly, but he doesn’t sound sorry at all. “I should have asked permission.”

“It’s okay.” And it really is. You shouldn’t, but you liked it. 

“I'll… I’ll get going.” He says, the smile never disappearing. His eyes are also smiling. He stands there awkwardly in an adorable manner. “Can I text you later?”

“Sure.” You nod. “Good night. And thank you again.”

Taehyung grins. “Good night.”

Before leaving, he presses his lips on yours quickly one last time. 

You watch until he disappears inside the elevator, entering the apartment and standing there alone in the dark for a few seconds.

Then you unceremoniously slam your forehead against the wooden door.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You hiss between gritted teeth. “What have you done?!”

You were supposed to push him away. You should have told him the truth - that you don’t have feelings for him, that you’re confused and almost certainly in love with another guy. Instead, you just stood there and let him kiss you. You not only kept his hopes high, you increased them.

How will you get yourself out of this situation now?!

You throw yourself on the couch, grab a cushion and scream into it. I’m the worst of the worst. I’m a walking catastrophe. 

For a long time, you just lay there and torture yourself with bad thoughts. Taehyung is the nicest guy you’ve met in a really long time. If you gave him the opportunity months ago, you’re sure you’d be dating right now - and the idea isn’t even unpleasant. He’s hot and smart and funny and sweet. It’s even hard to believe that someone like him is interested in you.

But…

No. Don’t think about him.

You want to punch yourself and scream and eat tons of ice cream and cry - all at once. You’re the queen of taking bad decisions. You’re the heart crusher and friendship destroyer-

There’s someone knocking on the front door.

You sit up in a jump and frown. Is it Seulgi? Did she forget her keys?

You walk slowly around the living room, defeated as if you’ve just came home from war, your hair a mess and shoulders shrinking. You turn the doorknob and open it-

And gasp.

Because standing at your front door is the person you least expected to see.

Jungkook is casually leaning on the door frame as if his presence didn’t make you burst a lung. He looks down, eyes avoiding yours; although the hallway is considerably dark, you can see his expression well. You know him too well. You see sadness and guilt and fear in his eyes.

Your heart beats so fast that you’re afraid it’ll stop suddenly. Nervousness crawls over your skin and makes your stomach feel cold.

“J-Jungkook? What are you doing here?” You’re brave enough to stutter. You completely forgot that Jungkook used to come over so often that you gave him full permission to enter and leave the building whenever he wanted.

He doesn’t say anything.

Instead, he lifts his left hand and shows you what he’s carrying: a plastic bag full with a pack of…

Banana milk.

“I think we really need to talk.” He says quietly, his eyes meeting yours for the first time.

You inhale sharply.

He’s right. You need to talk.

The cold night breeze makes you tighten your coat around your body. Yours and Jungkook’s hairs sway softly with the wind. You can hear the sounds of the city from up here, in the empty terrace - cars, sirens, voices. A glowing map of endless streets and buildings extends itself in front of your eyes.

You’re both leaning on the railing side by side. You’re hyper aware of the distance between you - both physical and… spiritual. You’ve been standing here in silence for quite some time now, quietly drinking the banana milk he brought, and none of you were able to engage a conversation. The tension is heavy. It overwhelms your whole being. Nervousness makes your nerves tense. You can’t even look at him.

Dozens of questions float around your mind; what is he doing here? Why did he decide to come in the first place? What happened to his date? It’s still very early, he could have stayed with her much longer…

You also can’t help but feel helplessly excited that he is here. With you. Not with Joy. He took the initiative to meet you. 

You can’t lose this opportunity.

“It’s kinda cold.” Is the first thing you say. It doesn’t even sound like you.

“Yeah.” He agrees, and he also doesn’t sound like him.

The awkwardness is almost solid right now. Things used to be so different… you can’t remember one moment in the past when such an uncomfortable feeling lingered between you. 

“Hm…” you cough. “What, hm… what about you and Joy?”

Why the fuck are you asking this?, you yell at yourself.

Jungkook looks down and shakes his head. “Let’s not talk about Joy or Taehyung right now, okay?”

You shrug. “I’m just trying to start a conversation.”

“That’s not how you do it.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to do it anymore.”

Jungkook goes silent with this, the quick aggressiveness disappearing as soon as it came. He gulps and looks down at the banana milk between his fingers again. 

More silence.

“Can I… can I ask you something?” Jungkook says after a long while. His voice is quiet, hesitant, almost being carried away with the wind.

“What?” You feel your body heating up in anticipation. 

He finally looks up to you, and in the moment your eyes meet, you have this weird feeling that everything except him looks blurred.

“Why did you start dating Mike?” He asks. “I warned you about him. I mean, you used to listen to me in the past.”

Oh.

Certainly not the type of question you were expecting.

What a mood killer, Jungkook.

You avoid his gaze again, trying to hide your disappointment. “Why are you asking me this now?”

“I just really want to know.” He takes one more sip of the banana milk.

A sigh escapes through your lips and you stare at the shiny city ahead. You didn’t think you’d have to bring up memories of Mike. It’s been a long time, but it still hurts to remember him.

“I… I just…” you start, trying to organize your thoughts. “You know that Mike had like a… bad relationship with his parents, right?” Jungkook nods. “Mike opened up about this to me. I saw how much it hurt him. He was lonely, broken. And I…” this is being way harder than you expected. You shrug, shake your head. “I don’t know. I was just being my stupid self. I thought I could… I wanted to fix him. I realized that I have this heroine complex, you know?” You side eye him sheepishly. “But there are a lot of things I can’t fix… I’m better at breaking things, not fixing them.”

“Don’t say that. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help people.” The confidence in which Jungkook says this makes, yet again, an odd sensation set in your stomach. 

It is probably the first time Jungkook managed to make you blush in your entire life.

A little more silence.

“Did you actually like him?” You can barely hear his voice.

You have no idea why he’s making this questions. Why is he bringing up Mike after so long?

“Well… yes.” You can’t lie right now. “I did.” You make sure to reinforce the did. It’s in the past.

Jungkook nods and says nothing. He takes another banana milk from the plastic bag and opens it.

You inhale, building up your courage to ask something you’ve been wanting to know for a long time. He touched this subject anyway.

“You asked me something, now it’s my turn to ask you something.” Jungkook nods. You have the feeling that he already knows what’s coming. “Why did you break up with Yeri?”

“She broke up with me.”

Oh.

“Why?” You repeat. You can see that Jungkook gets clearly uncomfortable, but you’re not letting him go without an answer - and he already knows how stubborn you can be, too. He shifts, tilts his head, exhales heavily.

“It just didn’t work out.”

“But you liked her. And she liked you, too.” It was pretty obvious to anyone that saw them together. 

Jungkook takes a long while to speak again. “I did like her. A lot.” The way his voice sounds fragile surprises you. Seeing him like this is very rare. Jungkook isn’t one to get all emotional too often. It seems that confessing this to you is important to him, somehow.

It also scares you a tiny bit. What if Jungkook still likes her, just like you suspected in the past?

“I didn’t want things to end the way they did.” He continues. His eyes are far away, watching old memories. His shoulders seem tense. He fiddles with the small banana milk bottle between his fingers. “But… some things aren’t meant to be, it doesn’t matter how much you want them to.”

This answer sounds… way too vague. Not what you want to hear. You know there’s more behind their break up, but just by looking at Jungkook you see that he isn’t telling you anything else. Well, this is the most he ever said about his past relationship in almost one year. It’s better than nothing.

And back to silence.

You want to push this awkwardness away. But how? You don’t feel as close to Jungkook as you always were. It’s not as if you could simply say anything in this moment… especially because, somehow, you feel that Jungkook expects you to do something, even though he came all the way to your apartment just to talk.

Say something, goddamnit!

“I’m sorry.” you blurt out.

Jungkook looks at you, but you’re not strong enough to look back at him. You hold the tiny bottle so tightly that it might get smashed at any moment; that’s just how nervous you are.

“Sorry for what?” he asks quietly. You hear the expectation in his voice… almost as if he’s holding his breath.

You can’t help but gulp. I’m not good with this type of thing. 

“For everything.” you hate the way your voice sounds so damn fragile. Being sincere like this is somehow… painful. But that’s what Jungkook expects of you: sincerity. So you keep talking, although you don’t know the right words to express yourself. “I… I don’t know why things got like this between us…” you almost gasp. “I mean, I know why. We know why. And I feel very responsible.”

“You have this habit of taking the blame to yourself, isn’t it?” He murmurs. Jungkook shakes his head softly and passes his hand on his hair.

“But I was the one to propose it in the first place.”

“And I agreed.”

“Okay, but…” you have to stop for a moment to recover your breath. “I don’t know, I just feel sorry. I didn’t think of anyone except me all along. I’ve been an awful person to you… and awful friend. Also…” you need to stop again. Why is it so hard to speak? It feels as if there’s something obstructing your throat; the words hardly come out. “What I did that day at Joy’s house… it was wrong. I’m sorry that I made you upset that day.”

Jungkook sighs heavily. You’re still scared to look at him. 

“I’m sorry about that day, too. I was rude to you.” Is he apologizing for calling you a slut while you had sex in the bathroom? Well, you definitely didn’t care about that. “I feel sorry too, Y/N. The way we drifted apart from each other…” he gesticulates with his finger between you and him. “The fault is on us both. I already told you, you shouldn’t take all the responsibility to yourself. We were both stupid.”

“Very stupid.” you both chuckle. You feel your heart lightening up for a moment; that strong tension still hovers around you, but now it feels like a different type of tension. Seeing that tiny smile in Jungkook’s lips makes your heart race. 

You finally look at each other.

The shadows of the night paint Jungkook’s face. His hair sways with the wind softly. His dark eyes shine as much as diamonds. You never really understood the expression “to get lost in someone’s eyes…” 

Well… now you do.

The small moment you two share feels fragile… featherlight. You’re scared that if you say or do something wrong, it’ll break and disappear. You’re scared to break him. To break yourself. This makes you remember that, ever since you were kids, Jungkook has always been the most fragile of you two. He has always been the most sensitive, the one to get hurt easily. Jimin was right all along. How could you do this to him? Why did you let this happen between you two? 

“I missed you.” your voice is barely a whisper. Admitting this makes you feel exposed and relieved at the same time. Your throat feels even tighter.

“I missed you, too.” he confesses. 

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

You smile at each other.

That’s the moment you almost confess something more… your confused feelings for him. You feel the urge to say that you don’t see him as just a friend anymore; that you don’t want to be just a friend anymore.

But something holds you back.

This is maybe the moment when you’re finally being able to reconcile. You don’t know if Jungkook feels the same about you; you don’t want to push him away by throwing your feelings over him. This might destroy you friendship forever.

Then, you decide to keep it all to yourself. At least for now.

“So,” Jungkook says, sighing. “What about that group project?”

You quirk one eyebrow up. “I’m pretty sure you know about the group project.”

Jungkook giggles. “Jimin has been annoying you, too?” you nod. He shakes his head. “He’s a little shit, isn’t he?”

“Yes. He had good intentions, at least.” You shrug. 

“He could be a little more subtle, though.” You can’t help but agree. “Congratulations for getting the highest grade.”

“Thank you. Jimin also told me that you’ve been talking to some important people…”

Jungkook smiles beautifully with this. “Yes. It’s a director. He said that he likes my work and that I have talent. I think he’ll invite me to work with him as a trainee for a while.” Your eyes widen in a surprised expression.

“Really?! That’s great, Kook!” It feels so nice to call him Kook again after so long. Slowly, you feel that unbearable tension vanishing and all that’s left is you and him. Two people that know each other better than you know yourselves for most of your lives. In a matter of seconds, the distance that put you apart for months seems to disappear. 

Suddenly, you feel a cold drizzle start falling over your heads. Jungkook frowns. “I think we should get down there.”

“Yes.” Before you can think better, you blurt out: “You can sleep here if you want.” Perhaps you shouldn’t have said that, because Jungkook’s frown deepens as he stares at you with suspicion. A shiver of fear runs down your spine. “Hey, that’s not what I mean.” You’re quick to say, waving your hands. “Before this sex thing started there was just us, remember? I… I miss us.”

Jungkook thinks for some moments, his eyes never leaving yours. 

Then, a tiny smile makes its way to his lips - and you’re happy to see that the smile reaches his eyes, too. “Okay.”

“Wait- so Irene and Jennie made up?” Jungkook asks from the kitchen, surprised.

“That’s what it looks like. I mean, they did post some photos together on Instagram.” you say while adjusting the pillows and blankets on the mattress you placed in the living room. Yours’ and Seulgi’s friends come to sleep over a lot, so you’re used to do it - you even bought some spare sheets and blankets for this occasion. 

“But you can’t be sure that they are together just because of some photos.”

“Yeah, but you know Seulgi. She jumped to conclusions. Being honest, they don’t look like a couple in these photos… but I don’t think there’s anything I can say that will change her mind at this point. I tried everything.”

“I don’t really think that they’ll make up this time.” Jungkook admits. You walk over to the kitchen and lean on the counter, opposite to him.

“I feel bad for her. Seulgi still loves Irene and she can’t get over it. I think it’s the first time she spends the night out in a long while… and it isn’t even to have fun. I’m worried.”

He pouts and shrugs, eyes focused in building up his sandwich. “Maybe we should just let her figure things out by herself.”

“But she’s doing nothing.”

Jungkook stops adding ketchup just to stare at you and quirk his eyebrows. “Y/N. I think I already said that you should stop trying to be a cupid, like… a million times.”

“I didn’t say I’d do something!” You do your best to sound offended. 

“I know you, woman. I’ve seen this face many times. You look like an evil gremlin.” 

“I don’t!” you cross your arms. You forgot how annoying it is that Jungkook knows you so well, because you did think of doing something to help her. You’re so tired of seeing you friend being sad all the time. All she does these days is watch Netflix and complain. She already started to look like a zombie at this point. No one can blame you for being concerned. “Besides, gremlins are cute.”

“You’re the only person on this planet that thinks this.” He shakes his head slightly, his hair waving in the process.

“Why did you let your hair grow so much?” You ask, resting your chin over your palm. 

“Because I look good with long hair.” Jungkook shrugs, a smug smirk on his face. 

“You cocky little shit.”

“Am I wrong for telling the truth?” He looks up at you again, playful. You can’t even tell he’s wrong: that long hair really matches his looks and personality. 

“Hey, are you still helping Namjoon and Yoongi?” you ask when Jungkook starts to make a fourth sandwich. Yes, you guys do eat a lot.

“Yeah. I haven’t been to the studio in a few days, but they still call me whenever they need me.” Jungkook presses his lips together and shifts a little: nervousness. “I… I kind of helped them write a song.”

“Really? But you said you were just ‘lending’ them your voice to record demos.” 

“Yeah, but I felt kind of inspired. It was just for fun, though.” He shifts his eyes to you then back to the sandwich very rapidly. “Maybe I’ll let you listen to it any other day.”

“Aw, come on! I’ve been wanting to listen to your songs for so long!” you whine.

“I said maybe. When the right time comes.”

You don’t really get what he means with it.

For a while, you just sit there and watch Jungkook. He looks so carefree and relaxed; he moves around the kitchen as if it’s his own house. He knows where everything is in the cabinets. In a way, this really is his second house considering how often he comes… even when he used to come just to fuck during these past months. It feels so nice to see him not being all tensed up and uncomfortable around you anymore. He even starts to sing quietly, his voice as sweet and smooth as cotton candy filling up the entire house.  You’re one of the few people that Jungkook feels confident enough to sing around. It’s almost a privilege.

You have been staring at him unceremoniously for so long that Jungkook frowns and looks back at you, frowning. “What?”

“Nothing.” You shake your head. “It’s just that… Namjoon is right. You could’ve been famous with this voice.” Jungkook smiles shyly. “And this face.” He turns around to open the fridge. “And this ass.”

He frowns. “Seriously?”

“What? I’m being honest. And don’t act like you don’t stare at my ass all the time.”

Jungkook chuckles and shakes his head in that way that means I can’t stand you.

“Done.” He claps his hands together. Four giant sandwiches, coke, popcorn and m&ms (let’s say that you and Seulgi don’t have exactly the healthier type of food at home). 

“Okay. I’ll take these, get changed first if you want,” you say while taking the plates to the living room. Of course there would be some of his clothes at your place.

When Jungkook sees the clothes you chose, he stares at you with an outraged expression. “My grey hoodie!”

“…yes.”

“You said you didn’t know where it was!”

You stop and click your tongue. “…funny how I found it at the bottom of my drawer tonight, huh?”

He knows you’re lying. But you won’t tell him that slept wearing his hoodie some nights because it smelled like him. He doesn’t need to know this.

“Hoodie thief.” He says and taps your head jokingly, making his way to the bathroom. You’re wearing sleeping clothes as well - and you made sure to choose your ugliest and largest ones. You don’t want Jungkook to think you asked him to sleep here just to end up having sex. 

He comes back and throws himself on the mattress by your side. You’re very aware of the immense space between you; another person could fit in here. “What are we going to watch?”

“I think I’ve watched the entire Netflix catalogue at this point because of Seulgi.” you admit, shoving popcorn inside your mouth. Jungkook takes your phone and scrolls down the Netflix page. 

“There’s always something more to watch.”

You end up arguing about what movie to watch. Actually, you spend more time arguing and scrolling down through the Netflix endless catalogue than watching something. 

You don’t touch each other not even once. The physical distance almost feels like a living being.

You end up giving up on Netflix and watching Avengers Endgame for the hundredth time anyway.

And yes - Jungkook cries at the ending of the film.

You wake up with the sunlight touching your face.

It’s awful. You close your eyes tightly and yawn, a little bit confused at first. What am I doing in the living room? You search for your phone to check the hour: it’s seven in the morning. Shit. Whenever you can sleep until late hours, you end up waking up early…

You turn your head to the side and freeze.

It’s Jungkook.

Now you remember everything. The TV is still on, which means both of you fell asleep while watching it. The empty plates and glasses are placed over the coffee table. 

You never slept together before.

There was only one time when it happened - the first and only, when you two got wasted and the whole story started. Other than that, you never slept together. First, because you had more interesting things to do other than sleep. Second, because sleeping together feels way too intimate. It didn’t matter how tired you were after fucking, when you finished cleaning up, you’d both put your clothes back on and walk back to your respective homes. You vehemently avoided doing anything that might feel too intimate - kissing, sleeping together… after a while, you even avoided looking at each other right in the eye while having sex. 

You’re not touching; there is still a great space between your bodies. Yet… just the thought that you slept with Jungkook makes your heart race.

You don’t move a single centimeter. You just lay there and… look at him.

His long hair is a mess. His face is adorably puffy, lips slightly parted. He looks peaceful. The way his chest moves up and down as he breathes is hypnotizing. 

He’s seriously so beautiful.

But now, you don’t think of it in a sexual way. Back then, you’d always admire how hot Jungkook is, his godlike physique, how lucky you were to be having sex with a guy like him… not now. You just feel mesmerized by his features. The long eyelashes touching his cheeks. The tiny moles on his face and neck. Some old acne scars. 

It’s odd, but right now, you realize just how much you’ve been missing him. It doesn’t make sense - Jungkook is right here, barely an arm apart from you. You made up last night and it seems that everything is back to normal. Still, you desperately miss him. 

Your chest fills up with something strange and unknown. It’s sweet and painful. It makes your heart feel tight, your nerves feel like burning and your eyes well up with tears. 

This is the face of the person that has been with you during most of your life. 

He’s a part of you.

The most important part of you.

In this moment, your feelings for him are so great that it seems that they can’t even fit inside of you anymore.

You watch him sleep for a long time, too scared to move and wake him up. But eventually, he sighs heavily and moves his head, indicating he’s about to wake up.

His eyes finally open and he yawns.

“Good morning.” He says when his eyes focus on you, smiling softly. Jungkook’s voice sounds deep and raspy. He stretches his arms over his head. “I mean… if it’s still morning.”

“It is,” you say softly.

He stares at the ceiling with heavy-lidded eyes. “I dreamed that babies came from eggs. Like ostrich eggs.” He chuckles. “And women gave birth to the eggs like chickens.”

You don’t say anything and just keep watching him instead.

Jungkook finally turns his head at you and frowns, still smiling softly. “What?”

“Nothing.” You say so quietly that he can barely hear.

He gazes back at you.

Slowly, the smile on his lips disappears.

You feel the tension building up around you - but this time it feels different. It’s not a bad tension like what you experienced last night at the terrace, nor is it dense like when you two were aroused and desperate to find a place and please yourselves. This time, it feels delicate but heavy nevertheless. It makes your blood boil and your heart race.

Jungkook’s eyes are serious, heavy and intense over you. All the playfulness is gone. None of you say a word. You don’t even know if you have the power to move considering how heavy the tension is.

He extends his arm and his fingertips touch your cheek. Your skin feels burning hot. Delicately, he puts a strand of hair behind your ear. It’s strange how he’s doing the exact same thing Taehyung did, but with Jungkook, this simple touch made you feel like exploding right there. 

Jungkook is the one to come closer. Closer and closer and closer. Your breathing is heavy. He caresses your cheek his his thumb. Soon, his face is right in front of yours - noses touching, eyes locked and burning with something you can’t quite name.

You stare at each other like this for a moment until his gaze finally drops to your mouth.

You both lean in for the kiss at the same time.

You have already tasted these lips multiple times before - but now, it’s different. The kiss is slow; you move your lips unhurriedly and sweetly. Yet, this kiss feels much more intense than any other you have shared before. None of those times when you kissed him desperately with luxury being the only thing on your mind comes even close to the intensity of this kiss.

It almost feels that this is the actual first time you kiss Jungkook.

Your breathing gets even heavier as the kiss deepens. His hand rests on your waist, while yours hold his neck. The sloppy sounds of your lips and tongues moving together are the only audible thing in the apartment. Your whole being screams in excitement and anticipation when Jungkook moves his body to hover over yours, not even once breaking the kiss. Your right hand grabs his smooth hair while the other travels up and down his back; your body is getting burning hot. Jungkook moans very softly. You start to feel the familiar wetness on your panties.

Jungkook leans away for a moment; his lips are red and swollen, his hair is even messier now, his dark eyes are clouded with want and something you can’t name - something so strong that he’s able to make you shiver with that look alone. He leans down again and starts to kiss and suck your neck very slowly, making soft moans escape through your lips. His hand sneaks under your baggy shirt and he squeezes your breast. Soon, his lips are on yours again and the kiss becomes much deeper. You can already feel sweat forming on your forehead. Jungkook starts to grind on you; you can clearly feel his clothed erection rub against your own core, what makes more and more strangled moans come from both of you.

This is the hottest make out session of your life. The entire atmosphere is not what you’re used to; it’s not playful, none of you say a word. No teasing, no dirty talk. All you do is try to touch each other the best you can, never once breaking the kiss. It’s as if, with this kiss, you’re having a conversation… you’re telling each other everything you’re not brave enough to say out loud.

Soon, the desperation becomes too big. There’s no time to play, you just want to have him inside of you and feel his warm skin against yours. Unceremoniously, you start to undress yourselves, kissing every spot you can find in the process - neck, chest, stomach. Your clothes are thrown around the living room. You lay on your back again and Jungkook hovers above you once more, your legs entangling around his hips as he positions his hard member on your entrance.

You always avoided this position because it is too intimate; you’re forced to look at each other like this. This time, though, it doesn’t matter. You want to look at him - and the sight of his face contorting in pure pleasure, lips parted and eyes closed tightly as he eases himself inside of you, is almost as good as the feeling of being stretched after a long time.

Jungkook doesn’t move at first. He knows he’ll hurt you if he goes too hard right from the beginning. Instead, he waits until you call his name quietly in a strangled moan - the sign he needs to start thrusting. He rests his head on your shoulder and grabs the pillow under your head tightly as he picks up his pace, slow and steady, soft groans coming from the back of his throat that make you feel goosebumps. You hold his back with both hands. You can’t shut the moans anymore.

Sweat makes your skin slippery as he thrusts faster. Jungkook licks and bites your ear, moaning right into it, and it feels that this alone could make you cum. He then leans away for a moment, creating some space between your bodies to have a better angle to keep smashing himself into you - faster and faster, stronger and stronger. The usual sound of skin hitting skin, heavy breathing and moans is all you can hear. 

You said that you didn’t ask him to sleep here just to have sex - and you weren’t lying.

But this doesn’t feel like just sex.

This isn’t fucking.

The pleasure is getting unsustainable and you both feel it. You close your legs around him even tighter and pull his face with both hands, sealing your lips in another intense, desperate kiss. It’s sloppy and unsynchronized. It’s raw and rough and so full of emotions you can’t comprehend that you feel your eyes tearing up again.

What you’re experiencing right now isn’t just two people finding pleasure in each other. It isn’t simply carnal instinct. 

It is the deepest and most sincere way to connect with another being - without any words, through touches only.

You never felt anything like this in your life - not with Mike or any of your past boyfriends and hook ups. This is beyond lust. This is beyond sex.

Jungkook breaks the kiss apart for a second  to look at you. Your gazes lock. God, he’s beautiful. Not only his appearance, but everything about him is beautiful.

And it is right now - stating deep into his eyes - that you come to a conclusion.

Jungkook has always been a part of you. But, in this exact moment, it feels like more.

It feels that you two became one.

He leans down and kisses you again. Your lips are tightly sealed when you both come at the same time.

Your trembling fingers still hold the strands of his damp hair tightly. You caress his face softly, putting some hair away from his eyes. Jungkook kisses you again. And again, and again, and again, and again.

You’re glad when he rests his head on your shoulder again, because like this, he can’t see the tears trickling down your temples.

It’s still hard to understand what just happened. Honestly, you think you’ll never fully understand.

But one thing you do understand, one thing that became as clear as the morning sky, is that your feelings for Jungkook are deeper and stronger than you ever imagined. He’s so much more than a friend.

Yet, you don’t know if he sees you the same way.

You don’t know if he felt the same things you did or if this was just one more time having sex with you. You don’t know if he still has feelings for Yeri or if he’s developing any for Joy.

You know nothing - and this fact makes your heart hurt as if it is being stabbed…

Because Jungkook, the best and most important part of you, might never be truly yours.

[darisu-chan]

Okay, but what about a Fruits Basket AU where Rukia lives with Urahara (as Shigure), Ichigo (as Kyo) and Uryuu (as Yuki)? Like, I just wanna fangirl with that idea

…

DUDE

Ihalf-heartedly thought about a Fruits Basket AU, and then you come here withthis idea.

Holyfucking shit.

Okay

Here wego

1. So, when Rukia lost her sister, Hisana,she stayed with her brother-in-law, Byakuya. However, he had to do somerenovations. Awkwardly, and so that Byakuya wouldn’t waste money on her, Rukiatold him she’d be okay living with a friend. Being, well, typical Byakuya, heaccepted without another question. Rukia totally lied. She didn’t have any friends and nowhere to go, soshe had the fantastic plan of living in a tent. You know how that goes.

2. Oneday, as she’s strolling in the forest where she lives, she finds a houseapparently in the middle of nowhere. She notices that there are ornaments ofthe 12 Chinese zodiac animals outside, so she stops to admire them. There, she meetsa blond man who owns the house. They talk about the ornaments, and theirconversation continues until Rukia asks why there isn’t a cat figure. The manasks him why she cares about the cat, and Rukia tells him that when she wasyoung, her sister used to tell her the story of the zodiacs, and that shewished she was of the year of the cat. The man looks at her intensely.

3. Suddenly, Uryuu, the most popular kid in school,arrives. It turns out that the man called Urahara and Uryuu are cousins. Beforeshe has time to think about it, Rukia ends up walking to school with Uryuu,which proves to be a big ass problem, since most of the girl population isin love with him (It’s what he deserves). They all start bullying Rukia abouther coming to school with Prince Uryuu. In this AU Rukia has no friends, soArisa and Saki don’t come to rescue her (though I kinda headcanon Rangiku andNemu taking these roles). Instead, Rukia tells the girls that nothing happened betweenUryuu and her, that they’re just classmates. They, very passive-aggressively,threaten her, but Rukia braves the storm. She believes she won’t come intocontact with Uryuu again. That’s a lie.

4. Rukia finds Uyruu in the locker room after schoolis over, and he walks with her. They talk about the zodiacs, and Rukia mentionsthe cat. Uryuu gets visibly upset and calls cats idiots. Rukia is surprised butcan’t say anything more when she has to get to her part-time work. Beforeleaving, Uryuu tells her she looks pale and that she should rest.

5. Rukia believes Uryuu is weird, but, ultimately,feels like she kinda understands him. Even though he’s popular, he’s lonelylike she is. Anyway, when walking home, she finds Urahara and Uryuu in theforest. She tells them she lives there, which they find weird since the wholeland is owned by their clan. Rukia explains her story, about how she had tolive in a tent due to Byakuya’s house being renovated. Urahara totally messes withher, which causes both Uryuu and Rukia to yell at him lol. Eventually, Uraharahears something and says a cliff has collapsed. They go to investigate, and yeah,the freaking cliff collapsed on top of Rukia’s tent. She has a melt downbecause the only picture she has of her sister is inside. Before starting todig up, she faints due to having a fever. Urahara takes her back to his house,and Uryuu stays behind, digging up her stuff. Back at his house, Urahara asksRukia why the photo is important to her. She says that the day Hisana died, shedidn’t say goodbye. That Hisana had been hiding her illness for some time, andthat Rukia never noticed. Rukia blames herself for going to school withoutgoing to see Hisana. They had fought over something silly during dinner, and soshe left the following day without even seeing Hisana. Rukia regrets fightingwith Hisana, because nothing should have mattered as much as her sister, whohad raised her after their parents had passed away.

6. Uryuu hears Rukia’s story. He feels like an idiot.He had never noticed his classmate had lived such a painful life. Uryuu decidedto live with Urahara instead of the main house, to escape his father’sexpectations, as well as the Clan. But believes that if he had truly wanted toleave, he would’ve lived in a tent much like Rukia. This conversation givesUrahara the idea that only Rukia can change the lives of the whole clan.

7. Next day, Urahara and Uryuu urge Rukia to live withthem. In exchange for living there without paying rent, Rukia will have to cookand clean for them, because the fuckers suck at doing this. Seriously, thehouse is a mess. “How can you be two grown men and don’t know how to cook basicmeals and clean?!” “Well, you see Kuchiki-san, a man such as myself doesn’thave the time to─” “You’re hopeless”

8. Sadly, before Rukia can move into her own room, aguy with obnoxious orange hair comes crashing down the freaking celling just tofight Uryuu. “You damn rat, come fight me!” “You’re gonna lose, stupid cat!”“NANDATO?!” Fed up with the juvenile and one-sided fight, Rukia tries to stopthem by pulling the orange haired guy, which is a big mistake, because the dudeturns into a cat right there and then. Urahara arrives at that exact moment andtries to stop himself from laughing, while Uryuu sighs. Rukia flips out andturns to ask Urahara and Uryuu what the hell is happening, when she trips andfalls on top of them. They turn into a dog and a rat respectively, and Rukiabelieves she finally lost it. They start speaking, and Rukia freaks even more.Urahara, as a dog, explains her that their clan is cursed by the zodiacs. Whenhugged by a member of the opposite gender, they transform into animals.Thankfully the transformation doesn’t last long, however, the downside is thatwhen they become humans again, they’re completely naked. *Cue transformationand Rukia screaming because she almost saw them bare*

9. The orange haired guy is named Ichigo, and he’sUryuu’s and Urahara’s cousin. Apparently he disappeared for four months totrain in the mountains, and fight bears. Rukia doesn’t know what tothink about him at first. He’s rude and loud and he hates Uryuu for whateverreason. She starts guessing it’s probably because in the story, the rat tricksthe cat, and that’s why the cat doesn’t belong in the zodiac. As for Ichigo, herightfully believes letting a girl live with them will carry even moreproblems, especially since she knows their secret.

10. Urahara talks with the clan’s head, Aizen, and helets Rukia continue living with them, which means her memory won’t be erased.He also makes Ichigo join the same school Rukia and Uryuu go to, which pisseshim off. It turns out Ichigo is a very shy person, yet he makes friends easily.This upsets Uryuu, who, even if popular, has no true friends. Rukia, then,discovers that their rivalry goes both ways, and that both are jealous of eachother. They’re idiots, as Rukia will later tell them, because the two are greatin their own way.

11. So Rukia continues living with the three, gettingto know them. Uryuu learned martial arts later than Ichigo, but he is stillbest at them. He prefers sewing, though. He’s very good at fashioning clothes,blankets and even stuffed animals. He makes a blue dress for Rukia to thank herfor everything she does for them. Meanwhile, Ichigo loves martial arts becausethey give him the strength to protect the people important to him. He teachesRukia some moves so she can protect herself, as she walks to the house byherself after her shift at part-time job is over. Uryuu and Ichigo actuallytake turns accompanying Rukia home. She hates the attention but when she’s withthem it’s the only time the two get along.

12. Over time, Rukia gets closer to them. She tries tosooth their worries by giving the same type of advice her sister used to giveher. She makes it clear both are worthy just as they are. If they want toimprove, it should be to become better people and not to please others. She isnothing but kind to them, and they are kind to her in return. Soon, they’reclose enough that it feels as if they had been friends their whole lives.

13. When the renovations are over, Byakuya calls Rukiato come back home. She doesn’t want to go with him, but she knows that she can’tstay with Urahara, Uryuu and Ichigo forever. So she goes but she’s miserable,because living with Byakuya involves living with his relatives, who all hateher as she doesn’t come from a rich and prestigious family. They somehow findout she was living with the guys all along, and call her a slut and ask her ifshe had been sleeping with them. Before she can’t react, Byakuya slaps theperson who insulted her, and tells them he won’t let them insult Rukia in hishouse. Then Rukia breaks down and says that’s the first time since Hisana’sdeath that Byakuya has looked her in the eye. Byakuya tries to comfort her andasks her if she feels comfortable living with him. She admits she wants to goback to living with Urahara, Uryuu and Ichigo.

14. Meanwhile, Uryuu and Ichigo feel like a part ofthem died when Rukia left. Urahara gives them her address, and they both rushout to find the house. Uryuu gets lost and it’s up to Ichigo to find the house.Though they fight the whole time, they feel that they are in the same boat asboth miss her. They eventually find Byakuya’s house just in time to listen howByakuya’s relatives insult her. The two get enraged because how dare they hatesomeone as amazing and kind as Rukia! But before they can act, they witness howByakuya defends her and asks her if she’s happy living with him. When they hearRukia confess she wants to go back, both go inside the house and tell Rukia she’salways welcomed to come back. Rukia nods with a watery smile.

15. As Uryuu collects her stuff, Ichigo takes Rukiaout of the house and scolds her for just living. If she had asked from thestart, they would have told her she could stay as long as she wanted. Rukiasays she didn’t mean to impose. Ichigo calls her an idiot and tells her she’llnever impose on them or be seen as a nuance. That he doesn’t see her as that.Then Uryuu returns and tells her he feels the same. She’s part of the familyalready, more than their own relatives have ever been. Rukia agrees to continueliving with them for as long as they will have her, and together they returnhome.

Obviously, there’s much more that can go on, but I don’twant to spoil others who might want to watch Fruits Basket.

This was so much fun! And I’m sorry I took so long. Atfirst I was going to write a few sentences but I decided this ask deserved muchmore! I love Fruits Basket and Bleach very much. Maybe later on I’ll actuallywrite the AU. But who knows.

Thanks again for the ask!

[hypmicscenarios]

Anime Attraction

3.K words

A/N: High School au. Fic with ichiro, you two slowly falling in love over the span of a 4 day convention and bonding over the fact that you’re closeted weebs. (So he would like tdd era ichiro) And again! I use neutral pronouns! hope you enjoy~

Day 1: You were very excited, happy, elated, every happy word in the book! This year, you were finally going to your first anime convention. Unfortunately, you were a bit of a closeted weeb. People knew you watched anime….just not your extreme obssession with it. Maybe extreme was too harsh for you case, but you were sure that would be the situation if they ever saw your room, filled with anime posters, merch, etc.However, those were all bought online or in stores….youve never actually been to a convention.

Online, you heard many good things about it, and that people there, for the most part, were friendly. You smiled as you got off the train, an empty backpack on your bag, besides essentials, inside an empty tote bag for you posters. You had planned for this for months. Saving up all the money you could from your allowances. Your wallet, besides money for the train and food to eat, was going to be completely emptied by the end of the day. Finally, you took your jacket off, revealing a ( favorite anime) anime shirt on your person. One of your favorites. You could never choose. You could talk about it for days. However….it was Under rated. It was also a bit old...and you were late to watch it, so the fandom dwindled down.

You were amazed as you saw many cosplays, a bit too nervous to ask for pictures, or even compliment them, but you hoped they received your compliments in spirit….something like that. It was….also really big and crowded. You got too into your head, overthinking a bunch of things, that you didn’t see the larger man in front of you, hitting his back.

“O-oh im sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” you said, bowing quickly. You looked up at the man, gulping, quickly taken aback by how pretty he was, different colored eyes, red and green. It almost seemed like he was in cosplay, but he was just wearing a naruto shirt with black jeans on, a naruto headband around his forehead.

Ichiro blinked and smiled,”no need to apologize, I was kind of standing here in the middle of everyone anyway,”his eyes went down to your shirt and his eyes sparkled,”wait….thats a (favorite anime) isnt it! Whose your favorite character?”, he asked. You were taken aback about how eager and happy he seemed, but it definitely managed to make you relax a bit.

“My favorite character is [     ],”you said, stating your reasoning,”oh- sorry….I didn’t mean to talk that long,” Ichiro chuckled,”thats fine, I love them too! For mostly the same reasons, theyre kind of cool. This is my first convention so Im excited its going off to great start, thanks.”

Oh? It was his first time as well? “Its my first time too, I came here alone, I didn’t expect to be this big, theres so many people.” Ichiro nodded,”Im here by myself too, are you here all four days?” You nodded. “If you dont mind it, we can walk around together, ah! Sorry if thats a bit too forward….”,he trailed off. To be honest, Ichiro was a closeted weeb. So he had no one to talk to, let alone drag to a con. “Oh no, Um, its fine. I would like that...even though I know everyone here loves anime….”,you trailed off, the guy, whose name you still didn’t know, finished your thought,”because theres so many people conversing and being you feel like everyone already has their own cliques and you realize youre alone.”

Well. That. Yes that. You smiled,”Yeah, its that, and my nerves and anxiety.”

Ichiro stuck his hand out,”Yamada Ichiro, 2nd year high school student in Ikebukuro. Nice to meet you.”

“ l/n, f/n, also 2nd year in a high school located in yokohama, nice to meet you”m you said and shook his hand. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Day 2:

The first day, the two of you had walked around, played games, went to panels together, learning much more about each other. You agreed to meetup at the same place in the morning. Of course, you were even more excited than you were yesterday. You were dressed in more casual clothing, but backpack was now decorated with buttons you found. Soon, you heard your name being called out and waved your hand,”Good Morning Yamada-san”, you said, greeting him.

Ichiro smiled and spoke,”Morning! Did you sleep well?”, he asked.  You shook your head in disagreement,”I barely got any sleep, I was excited for today.” Ichiro laughed,”so did I, so what should we do today?”,he said, taking out the convention program guide. “Hmmmm, theres a bunch of panels,”you said, going to the side of him and looking at the program,”how to successfully master naruto hand signs….”,you trailed off. They really….had a panel for everything.

Ichiro’s face lit up,” that sounds cool, want to go? Although I already know a couple…”,he said, and you laughed,”what? You going to become the next hokage Yamada-san?”, you teased a bit, but he went along with it, of course he did. You found out about this from yesterday. That he was like this. “I am gonna be next hokage, just believe it!”, he said.

“Thats naruto’s punchline you cant just steal it,” you said, watching Ichiro as he thought, then spoke again, very excitedly,”Im going to be next hokage, because I said so!”, he said, putting out a thumb. For some reason, it had you laughing a lot,”b-bbecause you said so? Ahahaha, well, you sure have a passion like naruto, I think thats all you need, its cute”, you said, realizing that you had just called the other cute.

Ichiro blushed and put his hand behind his back,”Sorry...I just cant be like this a lot in real life without getting teased for it, so its a bit refreshing,”he said and you nodded,, understanding completely.

“Well, lets go learn some jutstus even though they wont help against a gun but who cares, because its an anime convention, and we’re doing what we love,”you said confidently, more confident than you would expect from yourself.  Ichiro nodded,”Dattebayo, lets go!”, he saidm turning around and walking. You were really having too much fun. Being attracted to him went way over your head for now, simply enjoying the time the two of you spent together.

Later on in the day, the two of you found an anime photo booth, Ichiro dragging you by the arm towards it,”for memories!”, he said. The two of you got in and hit the naruto theme poses. Of course, you indulged him, he was cute when he got his way. And, you didn’t have to worry about poses. Instead, they gave you poses to do.

The first was a naruto sign for any jutsu, the second peace signs, the third you had to stick your tongues at each other, seeming annoyed, and the last one….got you. It was only a hug, but they way Ichiro hugged you quickly and tightly, pushing both of your faces together, eft you shocked, and you were sure the picture didn’t turn out well. Once you got out and looked at it, Ichiro pointed to last one,”its like you were trying so hard not to blink, but we’re cute, arent we?”,he said and you laughed:yea we really are”, you replied, more focused on the current pace of your heart...beating very rapidly. You paid for two copies so you could keep it. The rest of the day, you two kept up your shenanigans. It was tough leaving, but you were going to come back tomorrow and, hopefully, your heart would learn to behave.

Day 3:

The two of you sat down to eat lunch on the third day, already having gone through a couple activities.

“Theres Jiro, then theres Saburo, and Saburo is the oldest. We’re all pretty close but Saburo and Jiro always fight a lot, typical sibling stuff…..and a lot of the times it includes me. I keep telling them I dont have favorites but they never listen,”Ichiro sighed with a smile on his face. It wasn’t an exhausted sigh though, he was used to it, it was just how they worked.

You smiled as he rambled on about his brothers. It was very clear that he cherished the both of them dearly and would do anything for them. “That must be nice….Im an only child so I could never relate to these type of things. Thats why I got into anime really, theres was no one that I could play with at the snap of a finger if I wanted to-oh Im not sad about it or anything, I love anime, it was really there for me in trying times, plus the internet.”

Ichiro nodded and then spoke,”Well, you have me now too, and you can be as passionate as you want, no holding back. You have my number now and its already fun texting you when we’re not at the convention.”  He was right. After you guys left, you were quickly texting each other at home before you went to sleep. You sent each other memes,pictures, and talked about a bunch of different topics, that often you had smiling or laughing at your phone.

At that point….you knew had a crush. It was only two days but he was just so…..it was the little things really, not just the fact that you had anime in common. When you were walking through the convention center, going through a massive crowd, he told you to hold onto his jacket, so you wouldn’t get lost. Or how he quickly offered to help hold your stuff when you were buying merchandise. Or even him talking about how much he loves his brothers. Rather than weird, it was insanely cute to you.

It wasnt love per say…..well. Lets be real. You were a sucker when it came to love. Honestly, you dont even feel like counting how many crushes you had but none of those ever came to fruition.  You should just focus on your anime boys but the moment some other boy is even the slightest bit kind to you, like helping you carry books, your heart falls. Despite that though, you felt like this was different. More than just a couple simple acts of kindness.

“Im really enjoying our time here, we’re going to the cosplay masquerade today right? We still have some time to kill, want to go to the game hall?”, you asked,”then we can see which one of us is better at dance dance revolution.” Ichiro smiled and nodded his head,”Yeah! Youre on!”

After that, the two of you managed to spend all of your time in the hall. Ichiro was by a claw machine and you commented,”I suck at these things,”then looked inside, seeing what plushies they had. “I think im pretty decent,”Ichiro said, walking up,”sometimes I won stuff for saburo when I was little...he grew out of it though,”Ichiro said with a laugh.He wanted to try it.

“Good Luck Yamada-kun!”, you said, cheering him on. You were amazed by how focused he looked. “Do you want anything specific?”,he asked you. “Wait, me?”, you said, trying to clarify. Ichiro laughed,”I think you’re the only l/n here,”he said. That...kind of caught you off guard. But you walked up and placed your hands against the glass. “Ummmm, that cat in the middle is kind of cute.”

Ichiro nodded. The first time, he managed to pick the plushie up for about three seconds before it fell, but that was better than what you could do! The second time, he managed to grab it again, your eyes wide in anticipation as you followed the claw and plushie to the drop off slot. “Oh my god, you did it!”,you said, going to high five both of Ichiro’s hands but, instead of letting go, he held them and put them down,”Yeah I did! Guess I didn’t lose my skill after all.” “Yeah...youre amazing”, you said, trying to not comment on the fact that he was still holding both of your hands. God….your heart was a mess. There was no denying you fell for him. At most, it was very high like at this point.

Day 4:

Ichiro was excited to see you again. Well, half-excited and half-sad. He really liked hanging out with you. More often than not, he found himself thinking about how you look best when theres a smile on your face. So, he always did dumb things to make you smile, no matter how stupid it may have looked. Maybe it was because you didn’t think his obsession was weird. When you guys talked, your interests lined up more than he thought they would. It was perfect.

Of course, he eventually figured out that he’d want to see you, in a more romantic context, that it is. He knew his feelings towards you were different. Honestly, he even weirdly got a little bit jealous when you mentioned how hot a specific anime character was. Ichiro didn’t necessarily plan on confessing that day….but who knows how things would turn out. Yes, it had only been three days, but he felt like he knew you already. Really, you guys always messaged each other.

The conversations would go dull for an hour or so but one link to a meme and that sparked a conversation that continued for a while. It was great. He had never felt so validated.

“L/n-san! Hey, morning!”,he said as he walked up to you. You looked like you were thinking hard about something, but Ichiro didn’t comment on it.

In fact, you were. Thinking about how you wouldn’t be able to see him so frequently. It made you….sadder than you expected. Granted you could travel to see him, but it was also due to the fact that it was the last day of the convention. Here, you could be yourselves without glancing over you shoulder every couple seconds in fear that someone you knew would spot you.  It was so much fun, especially because of him!

Its for the best though….your funds were just about dried out. You couldn’t help but smile as you saw him though,”hey, good morning to you too, ready for the last day?” Ichiro laughed,”Yes and No because this has been very exciting.” You nodded in agreement,”it has, it does suck that we cant experience this everyday.”

“well!”,Ichiro clapped his hands,”lets not worry about that and focus on having fun, okay?” Your smile got wider,”yes, okay!” Ichiro spoke,”Datteba-”, then he pointed towards you,”Yo!”, you said, the two of you giggling. This had become your thing now, apparently, but you two werent used to it, hence you laughing off you embarrassment.

You went to the artist alley and exhibit hall one last time, taking a lot more pictures together than usual, even with cosplayers! Ichiro helped you out a lo with expressing that you wanted pictures with them and that was yet another thing that you loved about him. Without even asking him to do so, he just did it on a whim, and that made you incredibly happy.

A bit later, it was closing ceremonies. It wasnt much really, but anything to just spend even a little more time with Ichiro. However, that ended sooner than you expected. And you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

The two of you sat outside on a bench.

“So, I suppose this is it…”,you said. You had to get back early today anyway. Yet, you really didn’t want to. You looked up as Ichiro spoke,”no, its not it. We still have each other’s numbers, we can make it work, I-well….these past few days have been really fun for me,”Ichiro blushed, placing his hand behind his neck. Was he going to confess? If he didn’t do it now he knew he’d procrastinate on doing so forever. He didn’t necessarily have to make sure you were his in this exact moment, but his heart wanted an answer as soon as possible, before he got in too deep.

“The thing is….I want us to be more than just friends. I just….the more we talked, the more I found myself drawn to you. Like I can tell you anything. Its really easy to be myself around you, l/n, I want...to get closer. So, would you go out with me? Or not now, I mean you can think about it but...yeah.”,he said, face blushing. He had only confessed once in his lifetime and that was during elementary….he was quickly shut down.

You….couldn’t believe your ears. Did you really manage to find someone who was interested you at an anime convention. Well, you were sure there were more interesting stories but this was still way out of your league. You even thought he was way out of your league.

“I….we can date. I feel the same, about you, I like talking to you. And I think whats making me so sad is that I cant see you...not the convention part,”you said, looking towards Ichiro and seeing his grow excited. He grabbed your hands quickly and held them,”really?! Thats great.”,he said, letting go than hugging you. Oh. This was happening. It took you a couple seconds to process the hug before you reciprocated it.

Ichiro pulled away, looking down at you, a smile on his face,”when I talk with you, I feel like the happiest and luckiest man in the world. I know love is too strong of a word right now, but I want to do my best to make you happy.”

You were so flustered that you made no response, even more so when you felt his hand on your cheek and saw him leaning in. It all happened quickly. You closed your eyes and suddenly his lips were on yours. No movement, but it lingered for a moment, before he pulled away.

That was your first...kiss. You didn’t mind that it got taken by him but still….it was so much to process. Ichiro brought you back to reality,”Ikebukuro isn’t too far from Yokohama on the train, maybe we could meet in the middle on weekends, or switch up, ah, well I guess we can talk about this letter, getting ahead of myself,”he said and chuckled, which only prompted you to let out a soft laugh. He was like an eager puppy that you wanted to pet. Weird how he so easily calmed your nerves by the sounds of your laughs.

“Datteba-”

“Yo!”

[pikapeppa]

Fenris/f!Hawke modern AU: Tequila

Chapter 5 of Damned Spot is up on AO3! It ends on a bit of a cliffhanger BUT THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE UP EITHER TONIGHT OR TOMORROW, I PROMISE. Posting this one tonight for @dadrunkwriting Friday!

In which Fenris and Rynne flail around like awkward idiots in the wake of the previous night’s party. Tiiiiiiny hint of smut. Previous chapters can be read here: [1] [2] [3] [4] 

And beautiful art of this fic can be seen on the Tumblr of my partner in life and crime, the ever-talented @schoute​. 

***********************

2:21pm - you had fun last night. admit it!

Rynne’s phone made a little swish sound as it whisked her message away to Fenris. She grinned to herself as she pulled her sunglasses from her forehead down to her nose, then stepped out into the brilliant afternoon sunshine.

She was still on a high from how great the party was. After the intensity of the conversation on the balcony, Fenris had spent the rest of the night by her side. They’d both continued drinking, and he’d started loosening up, and Rynne lost her breath every damned time he laughed. He talked more than she’d expected, firmly sharing his opinions in the ebb and flow of conversations as they moved among the various groups of people in the house, and he was just…

He was so fucking smart. And articulate. And surprisingly opinionated. Rynne hadn’t expected that either, given how infrequently he participated in chit-chat at the Hanged Man. But now that she’d seen him talking more freely, it was more obvious than ever that his customary reserved silence masked an unceasing river of thought rather than a lack of anything important to say.

His opinions didn’t always match with hers. In addition to the lyrium issue, Fenris favoured the death penalty and really seemed to hate big corporations like Amazon. Rynne, on the other hand, supported rehab for convicted criminals and didn’t particularly care where her stuff came from as long as it was cheap. She and Fenris butted heads a few times, and the conversation became rather heated on more than one occasion - too heated for Isabela, who complained that this was a party and not a courthouse - but somehow, Rynne always managed to diffuse the tension and make him smile.

And as soon as Fenris smiled, every hint of cogent thought fled her foolish brain.

He’d followed her from the couch to the kitchen to the games room, scoffing at her jokes and returning her teasing with rapid-fire retorts that made her laugh so hard her stomach hurt. He’d point-blank refused to dance with her, but it hadn’t stopped her from dancing up on him like the shameless tart that she was. At one point, while she was twisting in front of him like a snake, he put his hand on her waist.

Fenris had touched her. Touched her of his own free will, twice in a single night. He’d shaken his head and smirked at her as his elegant, tattooed fingers squeezed her waist, and…

Maker’s balls, Rynne really wanted to fuck him.

But it was so much more than that. Usually Rynne was happy to hop into bed with whoever caught her interest, and if the fling became more than physical, that was a happy plus. But with Fenris… She got the sense that that wouldn’t work for him, and that she’d have to wait for him to come around to the idea of sleeping with her.

Rynne didn’t care. She was more than happy to wait. She would wait for him for months if she had to, because she could happily admit the truth: in the space of less than two months, she’d become more attached to Fenris than to any other romantic partner she’d ever had.

Fenris knew her worst secret, the one she’d been forced to hold most closely to her chest, and he didn’t think she was a horrible person for what she’d done. He’d given her a few secrets of his own, and she knew that was no small thing for him. Somehow, for some reason, Rynne trusted him at a visceral, instinctual level, just as much as she trusted Piper and Cullen. And in the most uninhibited depths of her heart, she knew that she would wait for him for as long as it took.

But hopefully it wouldn’t take too long.

She cheerfully hummed along to her tropical house playlist as she made her way to Athenril’s coffee shop in Lowtown. She was so busy rehashing the happy events of the previous night that she was halfway to Lowtown before she realized that Fenris hadn’t texted her back.

She pulled out her phone and swiped through to her messages.

2:33pm - fine, play coy, i dont mind ;) 2:33pm - seriously though i’m really glad you came

She popped her phone back in her pocket, but to her happy surprise, it dinged less than a minute later.

2:34pm - Thank you for having me.

I haven’t had you yet, she thought cheekily. But she would keep that thought to herself. For now, at least.

2:34pm - anytime ^^ 2:34pm - are you super hungover? did i wake you up? lol

2:34pm - No. I’ve been up for hours. Some of us don’t have the luxury of blackout curtains in every bedroom window.

Aw. So snarky, she thought fondly. She could imagine the crease of his eyebrows and the smirk on his lips as he texted her. The image fostered a warm feeling in her belly, and she grinned to herself as she stepped into the road.

“Hawke! Be careful!” A strong female hand grabbed her elbow and pulled her back, and Rynne squealed in alarm as a taxi screeched around the corner in the spot where she’d just been standing.

“Fuck!” Rynne gasped. She pulled out one earphone and stared up at Aveline, who was scowling at her with a look that she usually reserved for shoplifting teenagers. “Av! My hero! Kirkwall’s finest at her very best! How are you?”

“I’m fine. But you need to pay attention to your surroundings,” Aveline scolded. “Turn your music down. You would have heard that cab coming if your music was quieter.”

Rynne tilted her head playfully. “Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over my music. What was that you said?”

Aveline pursed her lips. “Very funny.” She waved a hand for Rynne to cross the street, and they made their way in the direction of Lowtown together.

“Seriously though, how are you?” Rynne asked. “How’s Donnic?”

Aveline’s expression softened at the mention of her husband. “He’s well, thank you. Enjoying paternity leave.” She smiled slightly, and Rynne grinned at the pinkness of the police captain’s cheeks.

“And how’s Carver doing?” Rynne asked. “I hope he listens to you more than he ever listened to me. It would be embarrassing for a police officer to get another ticket for parking in a no-parking zone.”

“He’s doing very well,” Aveline replied. Her tone held a hint of censure. “He’s a hard worker, you know. A good addition to the precinct. And yes, he listens well, so no complaints there.” Aveline shot her a sideways look. “It’s been a while since you’ve seen each other, hasn’t it?”

Rynne shrugged casually. “Yep.” It had been about six months, in fact. But it was better this way. It wasn’t like Carver wanted to see her, anyway.

She changed the subject. “What are you doing out in these parts, anyway?” she asked. “I thought you were more of a desk jockey these days. Are half of the precinct on vacation or something?”

Aveline pursed her lips again. “A good captain keeps her eyes and ears on the street whenever she has a chance,” she announced. She gave Hawke a knowing look. “You should be grateful that I’m out and about. You’d be roadkill otherwise.”

“That I would,” Rynne chuckled, and she slipped her hand through the crook of Aveline’s arm. “Care to escort me the rest of the way to Athenril’s, just in case I decide to wander into traffic again?”

Aveline smiled. “I’m afraid not. I’ll be leaving you here, actually. I’m off to the docks.” She patted Rynne’s hand, then pulled away. “Be careful,” she warned. “Volume down!”

“Yeah, all right!” Rynne waved and popped her earphones back in at full volume, then pulled her phone out again.

No further texts from Fenris. The ball was still in her court.

2:40pm - hey, those blackout curtains are necessary ok 2:40pm - you don’t know this, but im actually a vampire 2:41pm - i spontaneously combust in direct sunlight 2:41pm - none of that sparkly diamond skin twilight bullshit. i’m the real deal

She held her phone loosely in her hand as she strolled along. When he didn’t reply a few minutes later, she lifted her phone and tapped out another message.

2:44pm - what are you up to today? wanna hang out later?

She sent the message before she could stop to think twice. Maybe she was being overeager, but she’d really enjoyed spending time with him last night. They were both off work until Tuesday, and if she had to wait that long to see him again, she would drive Piper up the wall with her gushing.

By the time she reached Athenril’s coffee shop, he still hadn’t replied. But as luck would have it, he didn’t need to. As Rynne stepped into the cafe, she instantly spotted a familiar black-clad and hooded figure standing at the counter with his hands shoved into his pockets.

She grinned, then sashayed over to him and leaned against the counter. “Excuse me, sir. Are you a janitor? Because you’ve swept me off my feet.”

Fenris recoiled at her abrupt appearance, then his eyebrows rose as he recognized her. “Hawke! What are you doing here?”

“Inspecting the goods, of course,” she said. She bit her lip and gave him a coy smile.

To her slight disappointment, he didn’t smirk in return. Instead, he ran a hand over his hood and dropped his gaze.

Rynne straightened up. “I’m picking up an order,” she explained. “It’s our usual after-party thing. Unfortunately, I drew the short straw for pick-up today.” She stood on her tiptoes and waved at Emile, who held up two fingers to her.

She nodded, then turned back to Fenris. “Did you get my text?” she asked brightly.

“I did,” he confirmed. And he said nothing more.

Rynne frowned slightly. He wasn’t looking her in the eye. Maybe he was just really focused on getting his coffee, but she was getting a distinctly weird vibe from him.

Well, he’d been weird when she first him, and that hadn’t thrown her off. “So. What are you up to today?” she said. “Want to come over and hang out with us?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” he said. “I’ve… I have errands to look after.” He nodded at the barista as she handed him his coffee, then turned away from the counter and from Rynne.

Her stomach started writhing. What was wrong with him? Had she done something wrong? She could hear Isabela’s voice in her mind telling her to brush him off and let it go, but Rynne’s shameless, prideless tongue wouldn’t stop wagging.

She followed him as he moved toward the door. “Do you want to go for dinner with me?” she blurted. “There’s an Antivan tapas place that just opened in Hightown. I haven’t been there yet, but Varric said the fish tacos are to die for.”

“No,” Fenris said bluntly. “I mean - no, thank you. I will see you on Tuesday.” He finally looked her in the eye - the briefest, most neutral look - then pushed open the door to the coffee shop and left.

Rynne stood dumbly near the door as she watched him leave. Then she slowly made her way back to the counter.

“Hé, Hawke!” Emile glided over and handed her a tray of drinks and a paper bag as he reeled off their regular order.  “One Nevarran spiced chai, one espresso, one black drip coffee and one Arlathan apple spice, and one mixed box of Orlesian petit-fours… hey, are you okay?”

She hauled her face into a smile. “Yeah,” she lied. “I just remembered I haven’t done my taxes yet.”

Emile’s face fell. “Ah merde, I haven’t either! My father will have a fit…” He pulled his phone from his pocket and began madly tapping at the screen.

Hawke grimaced guiltily and backed away from the counter. “Er, sorry! I’ll, uh, see you later.” She hurried away from the counter and left the cafe, but as soon as she was on the street again, she let her smile fall away.

Her chest felt heavy, like someone had dropped a pile of rocks into her rib cage. Why was Fenris being so cold? Maybe she’d said something stupid last night that she didn’t remember. She had been pretty drunk by the end of the night. Maybe they’d argued about something

Or maybe she was just a deluded idiot, and he wasn’t actually interested in her at all.

She pulled her sunglasses down to hide her burning eyes. It doesn’t matter. He’s just a boy, she told herself. A handsome, intelligent boy with hidden depths, but still just a boy. As Isabela would say, boys come and go - literally and metaphorically - and they were imminently replaceable.

Maybe if she kept telling this to herself, the stupid childish pain in her chest would go away.

Maybe if she kept telling this to herself, she would start to believe it.

********************

Hawke slid Fenris’s water with lime across the bar. “Hey,” she said.

He nodded. “Hawke,” he greeted, but she’d already glided away to the other side of the bar.

Fenris watched her wistfully for a moment, then lifted his water and turned around on his stool to face the rest of the pub. The Hanged Man was relatively quiet, as was usual for a Tuesday; they didn’t do karaoke on Tuesdays, so the customary mix of 80s new wave and 90s grunge was pumping through the speakers and carrying the conversational susurrus of the laid-back post-work crowd.

Fenris sighed quietly. He slid his hand into his pocket and idly toyed with his phone. This was the first contact he’d had with Hawke since he’d run into her at Athenril’s cafe on Sunday. She hadn’t sent him a single text since then.

She’d only started texting him regularly about a week ago, but it was odd how quickly he’d become accustomed to the presence of her sunny swearing and ridiculous typos on his phone. Since the run-in on Sunday, she’d gone completely radio silent. It was…

Necessary, he told himself. It was necessary. She was getting too close, and Fenris couldn’t let that happen. The closer she got, the more dangerous it was for them both.

He’d been a fool at the party on Saturday. On the balcony during that moment of weakness, he’d told her Danarius’s name, and it was a foolish fucking mistake. Knowing even that much information was a risk to them both. What if she tried to Google Danarius, and someone was spying on her search histories and tracked her down to get information about Fenris’s whereabouts? Fenris used a VPN for all his online browsing, but Rynne didn’t seem the type to care about that kind of thing. Fenris wasn’t ready for Danarius and his men to come after him. He needed more time.

If Hawke learned anything more about Fenris, it could compromise his goals. His revenge would be at stake. Worse yet, Hawke herself would be in danger, and Fenris’s blood ran cold at the thought of any harm coming to her.

He briefly turned back to the bar and lifted his water. As he sipped from his glass, he glanced at Hawke again; she was leaning her elbows on the bar and giggling with a pair of businessmen.

“Puppy eyes.”

He turned and met Piper’s shrewd amber gaze. “What was that?”

“Puppy eyes,” she repeated. “That’s what Merrill would call your face right now.” Her eyebrows were lifted and her lips were pursed; her expression was the definition of unimpressed.

Fenris frowned and turned away. “There are no puppy eyes.”

Piper snorted. She leaned over the bar and stared at the side of his face. “This would be cute if we were all sixteen. News flash: we’re not. We’re all fucking adults.”

Fenris refused to look at her. He restlessly ran his thumb across his phone. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do,” Piper retorted. For a long moment, she stared fixedly at him as though he was a bizarre piece of art, then straightened up and wafted away.

Fenris scowled at her slender back, then replaced his glass of water on the bar and went to sit by the door of the Hanged Man. Only one bouncer was needed on Tuesdays to monitor the inside the pub, but Fenris couldn’t help but wish he could sit outside today.

An agonizing few hours later, after the waitstaff had cleaned up and gone home, Fenris made his way to the bar while Piper and Hawke were starting to lay out the cash. But before he could say goodnight, Piper raised her eyebrows at him.

“I have to leave early,” she said.

Hawke’s head whipped up at her words. “What? Since when?”

“Since two hours ago,” Piper said pertly. “Cullen got off work early tonight, so guess who else will be getting off early?” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Hawke groaned and rolled her eyes. “Wow. That was a stretch, even for you.”

Piper snickered and bumped Hawke’s hip. “It was clever and you know it.” She smiled as Hawke chuckled, then turned back to Fenris. “Can you help Hawke to count the cash?”

Fenris tensed, and Hawke’s grin immediately slid away. “What? No! I can do it on my own-”

Piper flapped her hands. “No, Fenris can help.” She looked at him. “I asked Varric already, he’s paying you for an extra hour. That works out for everyone, right?” Piper’s tone was light and friendly, but her eyes were like daggers on his face.

He clenched his jaw and gave her a hard stare, but her strong chin was belligerently lifted, and… well, the whole point of being here was the money. If he was being paid for an extra hour…

He turned his gaze to Hawke. “I’ll help. Tell me what to do, and it is done.”

Hawke stared at him for a second, then smiled tightly and shoved a pile of twenties toward him. “Fine. I hope you can do math.”

He frowned slightly. “Of course I can.” He sat on a bar stool across from her and lifted the pile of bills.

“Good,” Hawke said. “Because I can’t. Pipes is the brains of this operation.”

Piper laughed. “Nice try, bitch. You’re brilliant too.” She checked her phone, then hitched her purse onto her shoulder and waved at them. “Cullen’s just outside. Have a good night!”

“Bye. I hate you,” Hawke called to her departing back.

“Love you too!” Piper chirped, and then she was gone, leaving Fenris and Hawke alone.

Hawke stared blankly at him for a second, then shot him an alarmingly bright smile. “Who wants a drink?” She turned away and grabbed a lower-shelf bottle of tequila, then pulled out two shot glasses.

“Oh. Er - perhaps just one-” Fenris said dumbly, but Hawke was already pouring him a shot.

The pushed the tiny glass of tequila across the bar to him, then poured one for herself and immediately drank it. “Want a piece of peach with that?” she asked. “Piper calls it Fen’harel’s Fuzzy Cock. Well, she does when we add some lime juice to it. Three ingredients makes it a cocktail.” She winked at him as she poured herself a second shot.

“No,” Fenris said. “No peach is necessary.” He downed the shot and winced at the harsh burn of cheap liquor, then began counting the stack of twenties.

Hawke chattered the entire time they were counting the cash. Fenris listened as she complained about her favourite food stand in Lowtown closing last week and an outlandish anime she’d just finished watching and how she was planning a trip to Rivain in a couple of months. He watched with no small amount of wonder as she managed to swiftly count the cash and write the amounts on a spreadsheet while simultaneously talking and pouring them shot after shot of tequila.

By the time the task was almost done, Fenris was feeling a little hazy from the drinks, and he wasn’t sure how helpful he had ultimately been. “You may want to check this,” he confessed as he pushed a pile of dimes toward her. “I counted twenty-three, but I… I may have miscounted.”

She grinned at him. Her coppery eyes were brilliant from the booze. “Some helper you are,” she teased. She quickly counted the coins again, her face briefly furrowing into a frown as she counted them, then gave him a satisfied smile. “You’re good,” she said, and she wrote the amount on her spreadsheet, then began to tally it all up with a calculator.

Fenris watched her as she worked. She hummed to herself as she tapped in the numbers, some song that was vaguely familiar to him from earlier that night. Her face was peaceful and her tiny smile was sweet, and…

Venhedis, he wished his life really were this simple. If only he really was just a man working at a pub with a beautiful woman who hummed happy songs while she counted the cash. But this kind of simplicity, of uncomplicated peace and quiet… This was as foreign to Fenris as his native language was to her, and there was no point pining for something so bright when all his future held was blood.

She looked up from her spreadsheet and tapped at the computer over the till, then punched her fist in the air. “Yesss. Counted the cash while drunk. Pipes and Varric will be so proud! Or horrified. I can’t decide.” She grinned at him, but her smile froze when she met his eyes.

He stared at her, unable to breathe and unable to look away from her stricken expression. Then she dropped her eyes and began replacing the cash into the drawer. “Fenris, can you put the bigger bills into that envelope, we’ll lock it up separately in the safe-”

He reached out and took her hand. “Hawke,” he blurted, “I… I am sorry.”

Her hands went still, and her eyes darted back to his face. “Sorry for what?” she said faintly.

He hesitated as he realized that he wasn’t entirely sure what to apologize for. He hadn’t forced Hawke to talk to him, after all. She’d flirted with him and garnered his unwavering attention without any particular encouragement from him. He hadn’t asked her to be his friend. He hadn’t asked her to become the first person he’d trusted in a very long time. If he was sorry for anything, it was that he’d indulged her incessant attempts at conversation and gotten them both into this uncomfortable position in the first place.  

But he couldn’t tell her that, not without explaining why they couldn’t be… whatever she clearly wanted this to be. Finally he settled on a cheap diversion. “You’re a beautiful woman. Is there no one else who has your attention?”

Her eyebrows leapt high on her forehead, and she smiled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that first part.”

He gave her a chiding look. “I’m a Tevinter gangster with years’ worth of blood on my hands,” he said bluntly. “None of those things bother you?”

She turned her hand in his grip and squeezed his fingers. “You’re not a gangster anymore,” she said.

A wriggle of guilt burrowed into Fenris’s belly, but Hawke wasn’t finished. “Besides, if I was interested in anyone else, I’d be with them. I’m only interested in you.”

He stared at her with growing puzzlement. “Why?” he said hoarsely. Now that he thought about it, he genuinely wasn’t sure why she was so drawn to him. He wasn’t even particularly nice to her. Kaffas, he’d been a downright ass the last time he’d seen her, and purposely so.

She raised an eyebrow and smiled slowly at him. “What, you want me to list all the reasons?”

With horror, he realized that it indeed sounded like he’d been soliciting compliments. “No,” he said hastily, but it was too late; she was already pouring more shots and talking.

“You’re smart. You’re funny when you’re in the mood. When you’re not in the mood, your angry face makes me want to rip my clothes off. I…” She trailed off and ran a hand through her tufty hair. “You get me, Fenris. Or I thought you did.” She downed the shot and poured herself another. “It also doesn’t hurt that you’re fucking gorgeous.” She tilted her head. “Why are you asking me this? Do you like me?”

With a slightly shaking hand, he gulped the shot she’d poured, then watched as she filled his glass again. “That is not the issue,” he hedged. “Whether I like you or not is irrel-”

She bluntly cut him off. “It’s a simple question, Fenris,” she said. “Do you like me, or don’t you? I can’t tell, you see. I need you to break it down for me like the idiot that I am.”

He shook his head in growing exasperation. This was not where he’d meant this conversation to go. Where… where had he meant this conversation to go? He couldn’t quite remember.

He lifted the shot glass to his lips. “We shouldn’t be together,” he insisted, then downed the shot.

She frowned, then placed her glass on the bar with a clatter and poured two more. “I told you stuff about me that no one else knows. And I thought… I thought it was the same for you. Was I wrong?”

“N-no,” Fenris said. He was feeling increasingly agitated. He was starting to get the distinct sense that he was being interrogated; ironic, since he was the one who had clumsily started this conversation.

“Then what’s the problem?” she asked. “Do do you like me or not? That’s all that-”

“Yes,” he finally snapped. “Yes, I do, all right? I like you, Hawke. I think about you, and… in fact, I’ve been able to think of little else.” He snatched the shot from the bar and gulped it in one big swallow, then slammed the glass on the bar and glared at her.

Her mouth had dropped into a comical little ‘o’. Fenris dragged a hand through his hair. “Why are you staring at me like that?” he demanded.

Her expression slowly lifted into a brilliant smile. “I didn’t expect you to say ‘yes’,” she said. Then she burst into laughter.

Fenris planted one elbow on the bar and pointed at her accusingly. “You see? This - your - you laugh like this and it… You drive me mad with your incessant flirting and your laughing and that macabre little dress of yours with the skulls-”

“Oh, that dress,” she drawled. Her voice was vibrant with mirth, like laughter smoothed and curled into speech. “You liked that dress, did you?”

“I…” He buried his spinning head in his hands, then scowled at her again. “I wanted to peel it off and watch it pooling around your feet,” he growled.

Her eyes widened, and Fenris watched with a nearly-vindictive rush of satisfaction as her cheeks turned pink. “Well, fuck me sideways,” she breathed.

Her evocative curse painted a brilliant picture in his mind: Hawke naked and sweaty, stretched on her side while he slid up behind her and stroked the inside of her thigh…  

A roar of heat blazed through his chest from throat to groin, and he dragged in a heavy breath. His eyes were fixed on her lips, her plump and parted lips, and suddenly it felt like he couldn’t catch his breath, not even if he was panting for it.

Then Hawke lunged toward him and hooked her hand around the back of his neck, and before he could do more than gasp in surprise, she was kissing him.

Hawke was kissing him. Hawke’s lips, her fingers on his neck, it was… she was…  

The next thing he knew, he was on his feet with one hand gripping her short dark hair as he leaned over the bar and kissed her back, and she was whimpering against his lips like the wanton little thing she was. There was a faint clatter of coins as she splayed her palm on the bar - the bar, the fucking blasted bar that stood between them, separating them and stopping them from doing something stupid-

She petted his neck and released a tiny sob of want when he nipped her lower lip. “Fenris,” she begged. “I want - I…”

“Come here,” he breathed. This was a foolish thing to do, an act of complete idiocy, but Fenris couldn’t stop: he was drunk on her, intoxicated by the reddened look of her lips and the taste of tequila on her tongue and the sheer shining joy in her eyes, and he wanted this more than he’d ever wanted anything in his cursed life.

Hawke smiled against his lips, then pushed away from the bar and hefted herself onto its surface, and Fenris gaped at her as she clumsily scrambled over the bar and onto her feet beside him.

She grabbed the lapels of his jacket. “Now, where were we?”

He didn’t waste his breath replying. He dragged her against his body and slid his thigh between her legs, then swallowed her rapturous cry with another kiss.

She slid her tongue against his own, then broke away with a moan as he slipped his fingers into her loose camisole and up along her ribs. “Fucking Maker’s balls,” she whined, then she gasped and thrust her hips against his leg as he snuck his fingers under her bra and pinched her nipple.

He breathed hard as he palmed her pert little breast. His body was thrumming, heavy and pulsing with the strength of his need for her, and he hadn’t felt this way in years. He hadn’t wanted this in years, not since he’d had the tattoos branded on his skin. The tattoos represented so many layers of resistance, of pain and emptiness and regret. Especially since leaving Tevinter, Fenris hadn’t wanted to be seen with these metaphorical scars staining his skin.

But in this moment, he would strip himself bare in the space of a second if it meant Hawke would strip herself as well.

He carefully licked her lower lip. “Let’s leave,” he whispered.

She pressed her lips together, then gasped again as he pinched her nipple harder. “Oh fuck,” she whined. “I… Fenris, we have to lock up the cash, I can’t just…”

He growled in frustration, and she laughed breathily. “You making that sound does not make this easier for me,” she panted. She pushed gently at his chest.

He reluctantly allowed her to step away, then penned her between his body and the bar. “A renegade with a work ethic?” he whispered in her ear.

She shivered prettily, and her hands were clumsy as she collected the cash. “Exactly,” she replied. “Never let it be said that I shirked my duties to this lovable dump.” She shoved the bigger bills into an envelope and replaced the remaining money in the drawer, then picked it all up and shifted away from him. “I’ll be super quick, I promise.”

He allowed her to move away, then shamelessly watched as she hurried to Varric’s office and let herself inside. While Hawke locked up the cash in Varric’s safe, Fenris pulled up his hood and wandered restlessly toward the door.

This was a bad idea, and he knew it. It was stupid and irresponsible, and he suspected that he was going to regret it tomorrow, but it just felt so fucking right. The lingering feeling of Hawke’s hands on his skin, stroking his neck and pressing against his chest - it warmed and riled him the more he thought about it. He thought about her lips and the sharp taste of her tongue, and it was so fucking wrong and selfish and unfair, and he was powerless to stop.

The distinct click of a lock caught his attention. He turned to see Hawke hurrying toward him with her phone in her hand. “I called an Uber,” she said. “It’ll be here in two minutes.”

Two minutes. He had two minutes to do the right thing. To tell her this was a mistake, that he was a complete and utter ass whose only legacy was a trail of bodies and blood and death, and that she should write him off altogether…  

She slid her palms along his abs and lifted herself on her toes. “Kiss me while we wait,” she whispered.

He instinctively gripped her hips as she leaned into his chest. “You’re very demanding,” he said.

“Of course I am. This is everything I wanted,” she retorted. She bit her lip, and her gaze drifted up to his eyes. “You’re all I think about, too,” she murmured.

And just like that, Fenris was sunk. His resistance and his reasons were gone, obliterated by the woman in his arms, and in the muddled mess of his sex-scrambled mind, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

In this moment, all he cared about was her: the charming and infuriating woman in his arms, with all her merriness and her melancholy. And for tonight, Fenris was hers.

[dilfhakyeon-moved]

coffee shop au 4 (the one with the different names written on the coffee on different days) with ralbert? :)

disclaimer: don’t give me shit for their names i am TERRIBLE at names

but yea here are the sappho de lesbos stans

Once again, the ‘mystery customer’ was striking.

That sounding pretty ominous, it was nothing that serious. It was just that every week, always on a different day, they’d get that girl coming in. And she’d come at times it was pretty dead, most likely to get the same barista. There she always went, leaning on the counter, giving these soft eyes and these sweet words, and she’d leave with her order. It was never the same order either, she just… drank of everything, apparently. Your fave could never.

Somehow, she was indeed having an effect on that barista she was messing with, but that didn’t make her any less frustrating to deal with. Yeah, the flirting was nice, but if she had a set name it’d just be so much easier, wouldn’t it ? Because giving a different name every week was getting a little old.

Of course, the barista would get quite frustrated after some time, how couldn’t she ? It’d been going on long enough. And the list of names… were similar, for some. Sometimes just complete unrealistic jokes. She could remember them all - Race, Racer, Racetrack, Antonio, Anthony, Tony, even Edmund and Ed,… Pretty Girl, too. Maybe this one was fitting, but Berta absolutely refused to believe any of these other names were that “pretty girl’s” name. For one, some of these weren’t names, and well… the others were masculine, and judging by that last nickname, she wasn’t a guy.

Either way, the redhead had a hard time staying calm as the blonde began babbling, her oddly squeaky voice fitting so well with her messy accent and pronunciation, her tripping over words and her obnoxious giggle sounding somewhat endearing… Okay, maybe she totally wasn’t paying attention to what she was being told and she got too busy getting lost in thought, but who could blame her ?

… Right, herself.

Once she woke from this kind of weird daydreaming phase, she tried to harden her expression a little. “Okay, yeah. And the order ?” She said, maybe a little harshly. But it didn’t bother her customer, whose grin widened despite her cheeks perhaps darkened a tad.

Quad venti blonde breve latte, extra hot, no foam, four pumps vanilla, three pumps cinnamon dolce, two white mocha, stirred, light whip, extra cinnamon topping.

This was ridiculous. Once again, the girl’s order had to be ridiculous. Maybe that was one time too much, and that “one time too much” the barista didn’t bother waiting for the girl to give her a name. No, she was choosing it herself. It was obvious to see on the blonde’s face that she wasn’t exactly expecting that, but did she really have a choice ? No.

“Look at it once you’re outside,” Berta muttered, groaning quietly when the girl smiled again and poked her cheek before making her way out, whistling pretty loud - and getting looks from other customers, although admittedly there really weren’t that many. It still grabbed some of them’s attention, enough for them to notice the  barista quickly yet quietly following after her, letting her coworkers take care of the place if even just for a few minutes.

Keeping sight of the blonde wasn’t the hardest task. She hadn’t gone far, just walked a few metres away and was now reading the name written on her cup with some sort of surprise.

Endearing, the shorter girl would tell you.

Casually enough, she made a few steps until she was close enough to the girl, before pausing and more or less working up the courage to talk. She wasn’t all that good at communication all the time, but she still tried. “So, Foxy,” she called out, causing the other to jump and turn around. Her gaze was always as captivating, perhaps due to how obviously emotional it was - reading her mind was impossible, but her state of mind was all too obvious at all times. What really got Berta though, it surely was how evident the blush on her face was. Striking, such a contrast with her blue eyes and her blond curls, that pink really fit well. Made her look softer, and maybe a little less insufferable.

Her lips moved incoherently for a few seconds before she frowned, and pointed at the cup. “Y'ain’t wrote that, it’s ‘Vixen’ on it,” she protested, getting the other to raise an eyebrow. Maybe it’d been easy to guess making that flirty girl flustered wasn’t hard at all, but it still gave her some satisfaction. Oh, and also it was cute.

“I know what I wrote and I know vixens are foxes.” That sure wasn’t the answer that girl had hoped for. Berta could see her bite down on her lip as she thought of a reply.

“… Yea, but– still. Why’s that anyways, I 'on’t look like a fox !”

“Reminded me of one.”

Could the girl make it any more obvious that she clearly wasn’t used to being teased ? Or, flirted with, depending on how she took it. Either way, just one more endearing, sweet thing about that cute fellow, and it kind of made the former more confident.

This time though, maybe she actually put some thought into what she was about to say. Nothing crazy, but she’d always worked on that “speaking before thinking” basis, pretty much ; having to really work out some sort of appropriate response, or even question for the situation. Because in the end, that barista had ended up following her outside, there must’ve been a reason. Yes, that’d be her question.

“So… What’s ya doin’ here ? Ain’t ya workin’ ?” She uttered, her accent somewhat worsened. Oh, maybe because she was chewing on the… the cup. Was that a stress reliever ? Whatever.

“I wanna get your name.”

“What, I gave–”

“Your real name, so I don’t sob to my friends about a cute girl named Anthony,” Berta insisted, almost mockingly - although that was all light-hearted. The poor girl seemed to whimper after “cute girl”. Haha, she found her cute, she could die happy was what the whimper meant.

“Well… 'f ya want my name, then I bet you should invite me for a sleepover some time !” The blonde tried. It probably came off as silly, even if Berta just thought it adorable.

“A… sleepover ?”

“Yea, like… the best kind'a date.” She continued, managing to sound genuine about it. “It ain’t too fast if I’ been comin’ to your shop for two months. We can totally have a sleepover.”

“But I could be a murderer an’ kill you in your sleep.”

“Bitch, wha’s the issue here ? I’d die a happy death.” She retorted - maybe a little too quickly. A chance she hadn’t pulled out the whole “oh, crush me with your arms” or any sort of stupid stuff she looked like she would totally say. And the redhead clearly wasn’t wrong about that, that kind of answer had definitely come out of that girl’s mouth a few times… Maybe she shouldn’t be thinking about it.

“So, name ?”

She seemed embarrassed to say it. “Anya.”

“That’s a real pretty name.”

“Yea, shut ya’ trap, spare me the compliments.” Anya groaned, her gaze wandering elsewhere. “ ’S just a name.”

“Sure, Anya,” Berta answered with a chuckle, shaking her head. “So you said a sleepover ?”

“Yea.”

“Then gi'mme your phone number or something.”

“Ya wrote yours on the cup.”

“… Ah, I did that.”

“Yea.”

It was her time to be embarrassed again, it seemed. Had she really forgotten so easily ? That was a shame for sure, but Anya wouldn’t be too bothered by it, she could tell.

“Anyway, I’m… I’m gonna need to go back to work. Maybe come more often. Oh, and you don’t have to run away everytime, you can drink it at the shop,” the shorter girl offered. But she was met with a head shake, and that bright, quite shit-eating grin the blonde always wore. Back to normal, huh ? Couldn’t stay away too long.

“Nah, I’m a busy gal ! Gotta get goin’ as well. I’ll catch ya later.”

“Oh, well…” Was that sadness ? Yes, maybe she’d have liked to talk to her some time, at the shop. But if she was busy, then… “Talk to you soon.”

Anya waved, blew her a kiss and then… ran away. And Berta watched her, frankly smitten. What a goddamn rowdy… cutie.

|Text| to: she alt deleted my ovaries

> hey> pretty girl here

|Text| to: pretty girl

> oh hey.> how do you spell yr name ?

|Text| to: she alt deleted my ovaries

> howevs u want idc> yknow if i didnt have no decency id have said such bs> like huge

|Text| to: pretty girl

> like ?

|Text| to: she alt deleted my ovaries

> crush me w ur arms

|Text| to: pretty girl

> oh my god> shut up> or i will

|Text| to: she alt deleted my ovaries

> pls do> >:3c

|Text| to: pretty girl

> you’re impossible

|Text | to: she alt deleted my ovaries

> ur used to it now suck it up> im even funnier thru text> i send memes> n shit> hey?> also> cats have three lips

|Text| to: pretty girl

> hey you know wht maybe u should sleep !

|Text| to: she alt deleted my ovaries and my heart

> lol maybe!!!!> wish me gn

|Text| to: pretty girl

> goodnight. dont dream of people crushing you

|Text| to: she alt deleted my ovaries and my heart

> hdskjdghsdh> ill update u on that

Tag list:@well-the-kids-do-too@racetrackcook@i-got-personality@imjusttheoutgoingsidekick@thatfancyclam@we-dont-sell-papes@ben-cook-can-cook@not-your-cigar@nverkept@jackhasdreams@racescoronas@suddenly-im-respecsable@purplelittlepup@hopeful-broadwaybaby@broadwayandbookblog@crazymecjc@maiawakening@awwwwwwdang@albertdasillva@daveys-pet-snake@be-more-chill-evan-hansen

[pettigrw]

whats up fellas, its bee again, bringing to You my son peter pettigrew !! i am , ,... v v soft for this boi, i have been writing him for .. over 4 years now ?? wow ???? and im super super excited to bring him to you so !! please love him ( & me ) and without further Ado find out more under the cut  

the trees unloose their soft arms from around ( peter pettigrew ) — ( he ) reminds me of ( laughter breaking the stillness of a suburban summer night, coughing on whiskey and cigarettes, running a restless hand through messy blond hair, the soft ticking of a grandfather clock, bruised knuckles stuffed in the pockets of scuffed jeans. the golden rays of the late afternoon sun. quick glances seeking approval, a cheeky grin once it’s been earned. dog eared comic books in a cardboard box under your bed, feet dangling over the edge of the roof, staring down the stars, wanting to be a hero but not quite knowing how ). a ( seventh ) year ( gryffindor ), the ( escapist ) is known for being being ( intuitive ) & ( facetious ), however ( foolhardy ) & ( self-doubting ). rumour has it that the ( seventeen ) year old ( tarjei sandvik moe ) doppleganger is seizing their moment by siding with the ( order ).

pinterest board !!

character insp includes xander harris ( btvs ), adam parrish ( the raven cycle ), peter parker ( mcu ), ron weasley ( am i using a harry potter character as inspiration for another harry potter character? maybe )

peter pettigrew. born in sheffield, england to a muggle father and a magical mother. he lived in a small brick house with old fashioned furniture. his family has always been catholic so he dressed up and went to church every sunday. he was an only child, and it showed – his parents adored him and coddled him from the moment he was born.

perhaps because of this, or perhaps because he was a wizard, he didn’t really click with the muggle kids in his neighbourhood. he was more a mama’s boy, helping his mother dust and vacuum and fold the laundry and set the table for supper every day. his parents were worried that he wasn’t a very social child, and that he wouldn’t make many friends at hogwarts. they even considered holding him back a year, but ultimately decided against it.

but lo and behold, when he went to hogwarts he made friends! remus, sirius and james to be specific. and it was gr8 and they brought out this whole other side of him that he’d never shown before

this mischievous, snarky boy who’ll “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am” your mum to her face but just as soon make a “your mom” joke when she’s out of earshot. his smile is either shy and endearing or the cheekiest lil shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen. he’ll laugh at the worst of jokes. fluent in sarcasm. he’s great at seeming more innocent than he is ( a power used for pranks now, but much darker things later ). and yeah, he’s an enabler - his friends do stupid stuff and he doesn’t stop them. but so what? he’s a teenage boy.

his room is surprisingly neat. would never admit it but he kind of likes cheesy cliches ( he’s watched gone with the wind with his mum enough times he can quote it off by heart ). he wants to be a dashing hero like in the dog eared comic books he still has in a box under his bed. wants to sweep a girl off her feet. wants to be something more than the sidekick, at least once. sometimes he’s trying just a bit too hard to impress other people because he cares a lot more about what other people think of him than he likes to let on. slightly self conscious because he had a growth spurt over the summer – he used to be really short but now he’s all long limbs and stupid grins and dimples and tousled blond hair and he’s grown quite attractive but doesn’t realize it thank god. and hey – that’s just part of his charm. because he is charming. he just doesn’t realise it compared to james and sirius.

he compares himself to james and sirius a lot. peter has always been prone to insecure thoughts and nervous tics – during exam season his nails are always bitten down to stubs and his skin breaks out. and in the times he’s feeling particularly unhappy with himself he looks to his friends. and this can go either one of two ways – either they make him better and build him up. and really he should be able to do that himself but he’s always been dependent on other people. always. first his parents, then the marauders. or he’s feeling insecure and he looks to his friends and sees how much better they are than him. how unattainable their status is. and he feels like a useless burden, dragging them down. those are his bad days. but they’re relatively infrequent – at least for now.

he has ways to dispel these thoughts. for one, he drinks. not the best coping mechanism, granted, but whiskey burns his throat and the inside of his chest like the fire he always wished he had burning inside of him, and it makes him feel stronger and it makes him feel braver and his friends are drinking with him and soon they’re all laughing and doing stupid shit together and then the alcohol washes away any doubts peter has. and it’s good.

and sometimes he gets into fist fights. he’s gotten better at it over the years, ever since sirius taught him that your thumb isn’t supposed to go inside your fist. he feels strong when he fights, he feels a reckless sort of freedom that’s as close to confidence as he’ll ever get. and sometimes he picks fights he knows he can’t win, but hey, that’s part of the thrill, right? because he also knows that his friends can bail him out, and he also knows that the black eye he’s going to have in the morning will make him look tougher, and people will fuss over him and ask questions. and it’s good.

if you asked peter what the most important thing in the world is to him, he would say his friends. and he would say his family. not once would it ever occur to him to say himself, or his own health or happiness. and i’ll get into this more later, but when the war begins, peter doesn’t betray his friends for himself, at least not at first. in a weird, twisted, misguided way, he does it for them. but again – i’ll get into that later.

he puts a lot of value on interpersonal relationships. and sometimes, that’s a good thing because he values those relationships and cherishes them, and he’s a wonderful friend and very intuitive. he can always tell if someone’s upset, and he’s a great listener. but also sometimes it’s a bad thing how much value he puts on those relationships. because he builds his own personal value off of them, and off how much people like him and support him. like i said – he’s always been dependent. he doesn’t know any way else to be.

and deep down, peter is an optimist. it’s his fatal flaw. how? because no matter how badly things are going, he thinks to himself that it’ll all turn out fine, in the end. something will happen, in the end. someone will save him, in the end. for instance – he has no idea what he wants to do after hogwarts. and sometimes that worries him, but most of the time he pushes it to the back of his mind. he can think about that later. it’ll turn out fine. and when the war starts, and he gets deeper and deeper involved with the death eaters, he refuses to admit how much it scares him and how big of a problem it’s becoming. because in the end, it’ll turn out fine. it always does for the good guys. he never considers that he may not be one of the good guys.

this probably won’t happen in the course of this rp ( and honestly ??? maybe hopefully never happens -- who knows, its an au rp .. ,,,... ... ) but he gets involved with the death eaters when it’s looking darkest for the order. and victory is looking certain for the death eaters. so he joins them because he has this stupid, stupid, naive hope that if he joins the death eaters, he can convince them to spare his friends when they inevitably win. he does it for them. and deep down, he knows that that’s not gonna happen, but he pushes it to the back of his mind. because it’ll all turn out fine.

[ TW CANCER, DEATH ] this year is the year his insecurity complex starts to come into play – when everything starts to unravel. it’s a slow process, and it begins with peter’s father. see, peter’s father is dying, but he doesn’t know it yet. no one does. it’s during a doctor’s appointment, a month from now, that william pettigrew will be diagnosed with stage ii pancreatic cancer. he won’t make it. he will die before peter graduates from hogwarts.

peter’s mother will not deal with it well. she will retreat into herself, mourning the death of her husband, and peter will be forced to spend most of the summer after his last year caring for her, while struggling with his own grief. suddenly, peter will go from the doting, loving support of both parents to the support of neither.

so he’ll turn to his friends, desperate, seeking validation and support, but they’re each starting their own lives. there’s a war starting, they’re all beginning their own independent lives but peter – remember, peter has always been dependent. and suddenly, his insecurities are making a surprise comeback. the golden years at hogwarts, what peter will later realize were the best years of his life, are gone, and so is the carefree boy peter used to be.

but anyway. that’s the canon future. like i said, au rp, who knows what’ll happen?? could order!peter emerge???? will peter be able to deal with his growing insecurity complex in a healthy way??? stay tuned folks

either way though, right now peter is just a normal teenage boy, impulsive and goofy and self-conscious 

[thedappleddragon]

haha here we go again

there's a lot of dumb ranting and 3 days worth of logs and a dream in here so im gonna spare evryone’s dashboard and just put it all under the cut.

tw bad memories, talk of unhealthy relations with food, and dreams about dead animals

I realized I kind of entirely forgot to write about what I did yesterday? I kind of did a lot. I know my mom wanted to work on getting tile laid out in front of her bathroom, so we worked together to scrub the concrete and wipe up all the dirt and dust and whatever was under the carpet and remove some of the nails in the floor and bring up a spiky metal strip between the bathroom door and where the carpet was. The other main thing I remember is deciding to continue work on my dress, sewing up the outer bodice, checking that the bodice and lining would fit together, deciding I’d rather have no different colored front panel, and working on the circle skirt. At first I tried cutting the fabric on my bed, but it wasn’t big enough and too lumpy. I contemplated asking my friends if I could borrow their dining table, but I ended up clearing off my own. After I traced and was in the middle of pinning, I accidentally knocked over a glass bowl that I had set on the chair. My mom heard it from the other room and had me come to her room to tell her what it was. She got angry at me, which I thought was fuckin stupid if it was an accident, but after some reflection while cleaning up the glass pieces, I kind of understood why. Mostly I got a little upset about 2 ceramic pieces I made during school breaking a little from the drop. One was a mushroom house from middle school that always makes me remember feeling like an asshole during peer review when I told my person to smooth their project more because I didn’t know “no improvement needed” was an option until I got back to my desk and saw my person saying it was good in all categories because everyone thought my project was great for some reason. The other was a bunch of flowers on a circle. It was the last project we did before quarantine hit, I think. That one is in less tough shape, just a couple flowers knocked off and a chip on one of them. They can both be glued back together, I guess. Then my mom called me back into her room to listen to her talk about wanting to eat huge amounts of food, because she’s clinically depressed with BPD and PTSD and DID and several other acronyms and her favorite coping mechanism is food, but her doctor put her on a diet so she can get her knees replaced, but recently she’s been getting into a zone where she talks about wanting to eat entire cakes and pizzas and buckets of kfc and a gallon of queso or whatever the fuck and she goes “doesn’t that sound GOOD?” And I have to laugh along and say “haha no that sounds bad actually” and get her a piece of ham or something. And every time she goes on her spiel the only thing I can think of is the greedy from the raggedy Ann and Andy musical. It’s just this horrible undulating orange blob that eats everything in sight and seeing it for the first time just made me think of mom and it made me very uncomfortable, with all the orange goo and hurling noises. Also reminds me of this horrible video game boss fight where it’s the apocalypse and a fat lady on a scooter took over the buffet and eats so much during her boss fight, during the defeat cutscene she projectile vomits everywhere and dies. My brother Greg showed me that thinking it was funny. I hated it, and I still do. He showed me a lot of things he thought were funny as a shitty little kid, and I remember several of them being very upsetting. It’s ok. I don’t want to dwell on it. But after cleaning the glass and talking to mom I brought my fabric to my room and called it a night. Oh wait my dad also helped me with some paperwork my coworker handed me so I could get on the payroll.

Today I woke up differently than I have in a long time. I set an alarm for 10 am so I could be at work by 11, but I woke up at 9 from a heavy sleep with dreams about hanging out with my friend in my room, worrying about my dirty house. I wanted to sleep longer, so I got up at 10 to have breakfast and get ready. I spent my shift changing the price tags all around the store, making everything more expensive. I’m gonna work again on Tuesday where I’ll learn how to use the register. I hope I don’t fuk it up, but I have a couple days to relax until then. Maybe I’ll work on my dress. My friends all want to go to prom together, so my new deadline will be March 2nd or a little before. I still need to buy a ticket, but I don’t have access to the link to buy one :( bleh I’m too tired right now to worry about this shit. I only worked 4 hours again today, but after I got home I felt like I could have worked longer if they gave me something else to do. The only price tags left to change were a bunch of grills and stuff I don’t know about but I don’t know if they had any other work for my to do. But I’m glad I went home tho because I was hungry and my feet hurt from standing lol. I did laundry and made myself dinner and washed my hair and drew a little bit and made the table and tbh the pacing of today has been so weird I don’t remember everything. It’s only 1am but I think I’m just gonna go to bed. my friends started talking about going to prom, and I really want to join them, but I can't figure out where/how to buy a ticket. my brain started being really mean to me, syaing that I was being annoying and pushy and that they didnt want me at prom for some reason, so I low-key almost made myself cry until my friend offered to let me be their platonic date since their partner couldn't go. 

last night I had a dream about a hard video game where when you played it, the black shadow enemies would fight you in real life, and one of them left imprints on my arm in the shape of lego bricks. they could only attack you so long as you played the game, and they tried to capture people and you were supposed to save them. I decided it was my time to play, and I walked into my garage that had turned into a cave with bat-people fused into the wall. I paid them no mind as I rescued a girl who was my irl brother, grabbing her hand and pulling her into another versoin of my garage which was uncorrupted and normal looking. she thanked me, and I said it was no problem. then I tricked her, telling her not to trust so easily, as I became one of the shadow enemies and engulfed her in a black sack, trapping her and leaving the room. I came back a couple minutes later, letting him free (now my brain told me he was my brother) telling him I just wanted to know if I was capable of tricking him, and didnt actually want to kill him or whatever.  another big chunk of my dream was taken up by me, my sister, and my dad visiting a run down petting zoo/gamestop. the petting zoo barn was very dark with low ceilings with lots of rabbits and pigs and hay. one of us accidentally killed either a pig or a tiger right next to the exit door, and I had to slink around the gamester trying to distract the owner and keep him from going in the barn and escaping at the same time. I dont remember how it ended, other than me waking up with a sore throat from breathing so deeply through my nose. I had slept on my stomach wit my pillow in my face so I could hardly breathe, and even after I woke up I felt like I wasnt getting enough air. I HATE that feeling, I always felt like I was suffocating in middle school for some reason. I thinkk somethings wrong with my airway but im not gonna do anything about it. im gonna continue to spend 80% of my day laying down so my resting heart rate and breathing speed is slower than an goddamn sloth. whatever.

right now as im laying in bed typing this I feel utterly unpoductive but I KNOW I did SOME shit today. but yeah mostly I relaxed. I worked on my dress, removing and replacing the blue front panel. I lost my exacto knife somewhere so I went to dollar tree to get a knockoff, along with snacks for mom and my sister. the blades aren't as sharp as exacto, but I still know where the name brands blades are so maybe Ill try and see if they're compatible. when I open the package everything was oily and gross, so I washed everything off with soap and water before I used them to cut the threads of the panel seams. I could have used my seam ripper but I wanted to get a replacement craft knife anyway. its kinda neat that it came with 6 different shaped blades for different crafts :) but uhh I also cut out the other half of the circle skirt of the dress, and I have a bunch of extra fabric left over. probably enough to make a whole other bodess if I wanted too. I used my sewing machine to attach the new front panel, and I was hoping to get more sewing done tonight, but when I asked my sister if it was ok for me to use my sewing machine (it right next to the wall between our rooms so she can hear it from there) she said she was going to bed soon so I just attatched the front panel and called it a night. so that kinda sucked. I still have another day tomorrow before I have to work again, and I can still work on my dress on Tuesday after work. idk why my brain thinks that one 4 hour shift is gonna take up my entire day lmao. I just have to get the whole thing done by may 2nd. GOD that reminds me, im gonna be so busy next month. I have six events back to back happening like every other day, plus work. oof. I'll have to let my boss know, but idk If that's gonna make him mad. I've already got pretty comfortable with the lady in charge of the garden center who’s taken lead position while the manager is on vacation, but I dont think I;ll every understand my boss. he’s a sarcastic busy old man and NOT AT ALL approachable. whatever. really the only other tings I did today were drink a shit ton of water play harvest moon, spend too much time on tiktok, and sraw a couple dum things for my friends’ princess au. I fucking HATE the drawing I did for Anna, so I designed her a secondary outfit more inspired by sky pirate bohemian vibes, since she rules over the floating islands. idk if I'll replace her old outfit with the new one in the lineup or just re-draw her old one with better shapes and composition and match the style better or what. I just need it changed eventually becasuse it looks like ass. tbh now that ve taken a little bit of time away from the princess au, there are a couple designs im not 100% satisfied with. but I know that if I go back and make them more detailed or whatever the’ll be more of a hassle to draw and aslkdfhalksdf I dont know anymore. I'm still tied up about color pallets and trying to give everyone a distinct color, and im a little upset it doesn't quite work, and FUCK dude the edgy one’s lore and character are weird and I kind of want to revise it to make it a little nicer but its not my character and I need to stop shoving my dirty little mitts into everyone’s ocs and AHAGHRGHGARGHHG idk man. her power is necromancy and she has a skeleton army, which I think I kinda cool, but I also think it would be neat if her powers extended beyond just that to communing with the dead, helping them find rest, and THEN maybe it can branch into helping fallen soldiers fight again to help them with unfinished buisness. and then if she goes feral and starts abusing her powers, she ignores all the communication and concent with the dead and instead magically rips them from thr ground to do her bidding and they’re uncontrollable and violent and aimless, just like her mind slipping from the magical blight infecting her. idk man we’re till working on a lot of lore. her concept could be SO COOL with just that little bit of extra thought, but so far it’s just MY POWER IS DEATH IM SO EDGY. ugh I know its fuckin rude to bash your friends oc ideas and I might be too overbearing and controlling of this au but dammit im tired and im mean sometimes and my ego is through the goddamn roof and im so sexy and im always right and my meat is huge. ah shit I rpomised my friend I would help her with character design for the dead king but I was busy when she firat asked me and now im not busy but im not doing it ugh. im just frustrated right now because I spent wayyyy to fuckin long just laying in bed watching tikotks and youtube and playing harvest moon an doing jack shit all day. but hey at least I attempted to get a new social security card again today. and them promptly gave up when they said my adress was invalid. again. I feel like im in an uncomfortable medium between having no plans and worrying about the future and having too many plans all the time oh my god. ive been so focused on getting a job and then having a job and making this dress I completely forgot about college shit. thankfully there's no hard deadlines coming up that I haven't already finished. whatever I dont really want to worry about all this hit right now, im just gonna take it one day at a time. (haha it feels like my angel oc just stepped in. how nice of him :) )

[introvert-dragon]

My favorite place in all the world is next to you (Part 2)

Part 1

Summary:

Every time they played adventure games, Hiccup always got to be the prince.

But Astrid never played the princess—Never.

Astrid would always be his knight-in-shining armor.

Childhood Sweethearts AU. Hiccstrid Feels.

FF.net | AO3.org

Warning: Put your seat belts on, buckle up, or hold on to whatever you can. You're in for a roller coaster ride.

No beta for the story, watch out for errors.

My favorite place in all the world is next to you.

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~Promises~

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"Hi Mom, I'm called you to let you know that I'm with Hiccup right now. We're currently working on a project on his house, and—Oh, I don't think his parents will be home tonight. So I may also stay later for dinner with Hiccup."

"Okay Astrid, you know your Pa and I don't mind you staying there for the night knowing you're with Hiccup. Goodluck in your homework, and stay safe. Love you."

"Love you too." Astrid ended the call, flopping down the sofa beside Hiccup.

"So what did your mom say?" Hiccup asked as soon as the call ended.

"Well the usual," Astrid shrugged, stretching her foot then placed it on top of Hiccup's lap. "So shall we take-out two extra large boxes of pizza, then I'll kick your ass in some video games, then you'll treat me outside for dinner."

"Geez... So demanding." Hiccup chuckled. "Shall we get ice cream too?"

"Why not?" Astrid hummed in agreement, then her face brightened. "Why don't we buy ice cream from the big rabbit store."

"Genius." Hiccup nodded, a faint smile tracing his lips. "Do you remember when my parents used to take me out to the big rabbit store for ice cream every time I have perfect scores as a kid?"

Hiccup sighed.

Oh no, Astrid recognized that sigh. "What's wrong Hiccup?"

Hiccup sighed again, "N-nothing ... it's just that I miss those times, when everything was simple and fun. No expectations ... just me being—Nevermind."

Hiccup clearly wanted to say more but decided against it.

Astrid sat straighter on the couch, and moved closer to him. She took one of his hand, and held on to it tightly, then said. "You know you can always tell me."

Hiccup didn't take his hand back—it was a good sign—instead he relaxed and smiled gratefully at her.

"My parents," Hiccup started, "it's just that they're barely home, and when they are home, they only ask me how is everything going on with the school. And even though they try not to show it—especially my dad—I feel like he's disappointed at me everytime he asks and I don't magically turn up into some athlete playing a bowl game. Instead, he got a son who's talking fishbone who's part of the quiz bowl."

Hiccup took a long-drawn sighed, his eyes distant. "I just wish they would be proud of me like they used to whenever they buy me icecream, I mean ... yeah sure they talk about my performances in school and the quiz bowl, but that's in middle school being part of the quiz bowl is all cool. And now that we're in high school... who cares about those stuffs. I'm pretty much a loser."

"You are thinking about this all wrong, Hiccup." Astrid took his chin with her free hand to make him look at her eyes. "You're the ace of the quiz bowl team—you're smarter than any of us here in Berk High. Universities and Colleges would want you."

"Yeah, but not my dad-"

"-I'm not your dad either, but I believe in you. And I will always like you just the way you are."

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They couldn't hang out as much as they used to; they're in highschool now and they were shuffled to different classes, plus, they had their own fair share of homework and responsibilities.

They still hang-out at every opportunity they can, but lately, something seemed off with Hiccup; Astrid just knew it. It just felt different with him... his general aura or mood.

Hiccup was all alone, waiting for her in corridor; he hadn't spotted her yet.

Looking at him right now when he didn't know that Astrid was watching, why did it gave her the impression that he was carrying the weight of the world.

What was bothering him? Was there something Hiccup wasn't telling her? He should know that he could always tell her.

Then the moment he spotted her, though, his face brightened; so did hers.

Everything felt right in the world again as long as they're together.

But the nagging feeling didn't go away.

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Everyone kept telling her why she was still hanging out with Hiccup.

"He's such a loser like—ew." One of the girls said, and the other girls snickered.

Astrid frowned. Hiccup was weird ... well weirder. Astrid always knew that but she didn't think there was anything wrong with that part of him. Astrid always knew that Hiccup was different—good different—and she liked that part of him.

They'd known each other since they were three, and with him she never get bored. Never.

Hearing all those insults thrown behind her bestfriend's back made her felt all sorts of sick.

Astrid was about to open her mouth to defend Hiccup, but another girl piped in. "He is such a nerd, like who the hell joins the quiz bowl team-"

Another girl piped in, "I know right we are not in middle school anymore—like hello? its high school and how lame is that."

Hiccup was smart, so naturally he got into the quiz bowl team. What was wrong with that? It was just like how she was good at sports that got her into the varsity team.

Then as if summoned by her thoughts, there was Hiccup, all smiles, waving at her enthusiastically. "Astrid!"

Her first instinct was to rush to his side, but everyone was looking at her.

For the first time in her life, Astrid hesitated.

He noticed.

Hiccup's face dropped and stopped waving at her. He looked hurt and betrayed when he dashed off.

Then everything registered in her mind; what had she done? Was she really that low... how come she let something so petty made her doubt her friendship with Hiccup.

Astrid gave the girls a glare worthy of a death threat. The girls cowered and flinched, but Astrid didn't had the time to bother with them. She needed to go after Hiccup.

There was a loud crashing sound of something hitting the lockers and things scattering in the ground. She watched as someone was being pushed over and tripped over and over again by some boys in the hallway, Astrid paused. It was Hiccup.

She felt numb, her vision blurrying, cold anger welling up inside her.

It did not end bloody well.

Before she knew it, she was being pulled off the teachers.

The boys ended up with broken noses and casts.

While Hiccup had to get his lips stitched.

It became a big incident, Stoick and Valka were furious. They threatened to pull out multiple sponsorship on Berk High if Astrid ever had to suffer even a single second of detention for only defending their son.

Astrid was lucky to only end up with a warning.

It turned out those boys had been continuously threatening Hiccup to cheat their homeworks, quizes, and projects. The boys had been suspended for over a month.

And ever since that day, everyone knew better than to mess with Astrid Hofferson; and never again did someone dare to pick on Hiccup Haddock.

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+xxx xxx| Hiccup | 3:49 pm

H: hey u there? mum and dad going out of town. wanna hang out?

A: sure! as long as theres pizza

H: im ordering the ones with pinapple then :P

A: Hiccup Haddock the Third, you know how much I hate pineapples! You better order pepperoni or I will murder you. Anyways, waterbreaks over :( cya later after practice!

+xxx xxx| Hiccup | 5:17 pm

H: (inserts pizza picture here) look what just arrived

+xxx xxx| Hiccup | 5:31 pm

H: hey, is your practice extended, let me know when it's over?

H: Astrid? wer u at? the pizzas going cold.

H: U there?

H: :Pizza: hello?

+xxx xxx| Hiccup | 6:17

H: im hungryyyyy u still coming?

+xxx xxx| Hiccup | 8:31 pm | Recieved 4 missed calls

A: Oh crap! I'm really sorry Hiccup!

A: It's just that we had a really close mock game, and my teammates asked me out for pizza...

A: Oh god, I'm really sorry I totally forgot!

A: Hiccup? Please answer me!

A: Can I still come over?

A: I'm coming over now.

+xxx xxx| Hiccup | 8:32 pm

H: i fell asleep. it's fine no big deal. i already ate by myself.

A: Crap, Hiccup I'm really sorry I forgot about the meeting. Can I still comeover?

H: it's fine. you don't have to.

A: No it's not! I'm really sorry Hiccup, how can I make it up to you?

H: really forget it, it's no big deal. it's almost 9, i'd really feel better if you're home.

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"I missed this," Hiccup said, laying down the couch. "Us. Hanging out here in any of our room just like the old times."

"It reminds me of the first time you have to stay over our house overnight." Astrid replied, smiling.

"Yeah... the whole sudden business trip—boy I was so scared back then thinking that Mom and Dad left me for good."

"You were such a crybaby then—Oh wait..."

"-Ass." Hiccup pouted, then sticked out his tongue.

Astrid punched him in the arm. "Wuss."

"But you married that crybaby." Hiccup pulled out a necklace from underneath his shirt; it was a toy ring.

Astrid felt warmth bubbling in her chest; it was not just a toy ring. It was their first wedding ring. It was old yet maintained in pristine condition despite the toy being made from cheap plastic. Astrid sighed, savoring the warm feeling in her chest, then snickered and hit him in the arm.

"So you and Brandon..." started Hiccup, "you guys dating?"

The warm feeling in her chest vanished.

"NO!" She didn't need to raise her voice, but she felt like she needed to. "Er! I mean not yet at least... We are sort of you know? just hanging out."

Hiccup sighed, then smiled but Astrid noticed there was a melancholic light in his eyes despite his genuine smile. "I'm really happy for you."

Astrid eyed him weirdly.

"No really!" Hiccup sighed again.

Oh no, Astrid knew that sigh... something was definitely not right, and was bothering her bestfriend.

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

"NO- no, I mean it's all cool, I'm sure Brandon is such a great guy..." Then Hiccup muttered something weakly.

"Hiccup, you know you can always tell me." Astrid said. That phrase still made something in her insides turn. Something they always told each other ever since they were young:

You know you can always tell me.

He didn't.

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("Seriously Astrid you look fine, more than fine actually... You look incredible, you look beautiful as always—"

Astrid paused, her heart stopping for a moment before beating furiously. Hearing those words come from Hiccup why did her heart squeeze. It was as if she had been waiting for those words her whole life.)

Here she was on her first date with a boy. And yet all she could think of were Hiccup's words.

Everytime Astrid met Brandon's gaze, her mind wandered over a pair of warm emerald orb looking at her—she was yearning for it.

(The way Hiccup looked at her as if worth all the gold in the world—

—Or an unnattainable treasure, Something whispered in her mind. )

Brandon held her hand, and her first instinct was to pull her hand back. What was wrong with her? Her first time holding a hand of a boy her age who wasn't Hiccup. It felt clammy and uncomfortable... and it felt not Hiccup.

Brandon noticed her discomfort, but smiled at her.

There was something about the way Brandon looked at her. It felt unsettling...

Astrid smiled back, but it all felt unreal... Brandon's sincerity.

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[ Conversations with Hiccup ]

H: Can I talk to you for a second?

A: sry can't right now im with brandon and friends

Hiccup is typing...

Seen by Hiccup

H: Okay.

[ Conversations with Hiccup ]

H: hey u up?

Seen by Astrid

[ Conversations with Hiccup ]

H: hey

H: Astrid?

H: I promise you this is going to be short, but I really need to tell you something important.

Hiccup is typing...

H: nvm.

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Brandon cheated on her, with one of the cheerleaders, making out behind the bleacher.

It wouldn't had worked out anyway, Astrid convinced herself.

But it still hurted the same, not because she loved him—because she didn't—but she did actually like him.

Brandon said it was all her fault. Astrid was never with him, her mind was always with Hiccup. On their dates, she was always talking about Hiccup this and Hiccup that. She compared him too much to Hiccup.

They hadn't made it to the point where things went physically intimate. But Brandon was actually a decent guy to be with. They had been good friends, they hang out alot, they watched movies, and shared stories.

Until now that he cheated on her.

One of her teammates invited her to a party; To have some fun, to forget, to vent or to let out some steam.

She said yes out of impulse.

Astrid had never been to a real party before. She lied to her mother that she was staying with Hiccup for the night, and when she was about to call Hiccup—she hesitated. Not like they had been talking lately, so she decided not to tell him.

The party was exactly as she expected. Lots of people, booming bass, and lots of alcohol.

Eyes turned to her as soon as she stepped foot inside the house, as if the music paused. She quickly understood why.

Brandon was there with his new cheerleader girlfriend.

Astrid immediately regretted her decision to come here. But there was no way in hell the she was going to back off—she was Astrid Hofferson.

A couple of boys glanced at her warily. Astrid recognized them; they were the boys she beat up for bullying Hiccup. She ignored them as she made her way to her teammates who looked at her apologetically. Their eyes said, Sorry, we didn't know he was coming too. But she just waved it off saying it was fine.

One of her teammates offered her a punch, Astrid downed it without thinking. It felt as if fire traveled in her nostrils and she almost coughed it out but managed to swallow it.

She liked it. It made her senses tingle, and it made her feel alive.

"Take it slowly, or you'll get drunk in no time." One of her teammates advised.

Astrid lost count on how many cups she had downed when the alcohol started kicking in. She was starting to feel her vision blur slightly, and she felt the world around her distort.

Astrid was feeling hot and weird and bothered. A deadly mixture of hormones and alcohol.

There was this random guy who kept pestering Astrid. She gave him her number if it meant him leaving her alone, planning to block him later.

But the guy didn't leave her alone.

When Astrid felt something slid under her shirt. She would had beaten the hell out of him, but the world was spinning and she could only muster enough the energy to push him away.

"Get your dirty hands off her, you pervert!"

There was suddenly chaos around her, and the guy bothering her was knocked down the floor.

Then there was... wait a minute? Hiccup? And did he just knocked out a guy for her? And since when the hell did Hiccup grow so tall... so strong... so handsome...

Wait a minute? When did Hiccup arrive at the party? Screw that. What mattered was that he was here for her.

Astrid grabbed Hiccup by his arm, trying to drag him with her into the dance floor.

"...strid, let's go home." His voice was so alluring, she didn't want to go home—she wanted to stay here with him forever.

"I don't want to." Astrid blurted out, grabbing his face by his cheeks. She liked it how his face felt, it was no longer soft, his jaws felt firm and his stubble lining his jaw were prickling her palm slightly.

"Please... Astrid let's go," Hiccup begged, prying her hands but she held on to it firmly.

Astrid wasn't paying attention to what he was saying. All she could think of was how his lips looked so soft and delicious and he was so warm and his close proximity made her heart race ... then she didn't know what happened next.

Did she just kiss him? Or did they actually kiss? Why did she suddenly feel guitly.

"We're leaving." Hiccup grabbed her by wrist, and he was suddenly dragging her outside the party.

"Hiccup?" Astrid blinked at him, suddenly awake, alcohol and thrill gone. He didn't look back, he just kept on pulling her roughly until they reached his car.

"You're hurting me! Hiccup let go of me or I'll to break your arm!" Astrid threathened.

Hiccup stopped then loosened his hold on her wrist, turning around to face her. Hiccup opened his mouth several times but said nothing.

Why was she feeling nervous? She didn't do anything wrong. She was in highschool and it was perfectly fine for her to go to a party.

He took a deep breathe and said. "If you're going to ask how I found out, your mom was calling you, but weren't answering you phone; so your mom called me. You told her that you were staying with me. We haven't hanged-out in months, So I knew something was going on."

Astrid eyes widened, she quickly pulled out her phone from her pocket and felt appropriately rebuked to see 21 missed calls from her mom.

"I'm not mad at you," Hiccup sighed, he took of one her hand. "I told your mom not to worry; that you only forgot to charge your phone. But seriously, what's happening with you Astrid? You've been ignoring my messages, and not answering any calls, and now sneaking out to party at night, getting yourself half-drunk—do you have any idea how worried you mother was? How worried I am?"

"You didn't need to worry, I'm fine," Astrid yanked her hand free of his grip.

"You're obviously not." Hiccup sighed again, " Is this about Brandon? You know you can always tell me, you didn't have to go out there partying getting yourself almos—"

"—I said I'm fine! Just leave me alone!" Astrid snapped.

"I'm not leaving you alone! not when I know that you need me." Hiccup took a deep breath. "I promised that I won't leave you—"

"For fuck's sake Hiccup! What are we six? I don't give shit about your promise!"

Hiccup looked stunned, his eyes wide. Then he turned around, and started walking to his car.

"Where are you going, Hiccup! I'm not done talking to you!" Astrid shouted. "You want to know what Brandon said to me when he cheated on me? Fine! It was you, Hiccup! It was because you kept on messaging me that he started to get jealous. He told me how it was always Hiccup with me and Hiccup with that. And now I can't even be out there partying without you mommying me. No wonder he broke up with me. This is all your fault, Hiccup! You just ruin everything!"

"I-I... you really mean that." Hiccup said, toneless.

"H-Hiccup, no... I'm sorr—" She didn't mean any of it, she just lost her temper, maybe her mind, and her mouth kept moving.

"—You're right," Hiccup cut her off. "I just ruin everything. I always mess up. It's no wonder that Mom and Dad are fighting again, and guess what? It's because of all this..." he gestured all himself."You would know that if you answered any of my messages—and by the way—Mom is leavi... nevermind.

"I'm done. You can go back there for all I care. Goodbye, Astrid."

.

.

.

Astrid woke up in her room with an incredible headache. Why did her head feel fogged, her chest heavy, and her stomach leaden. She tried to recall last night's events but her head was pounding too much for her to remember anything. It felt like she was forgetting something very important.

She looked at the clock, and groaned. It was already 12:15pm. Luckily it was Saturday. She didn't want to stand up from her bed, but it was already afternoon and she didn't want to waste her weekend feeling sick in her bed.

"You're finally up." A her mother greeted her from the kitchen, she gestured her to sit down beside her.

Astrid groaned as she sat down. "Hey, Mom. Why does my head hurt so much."

"Here drink this, honey water, it will help with your headache." Her mother handed over the glass of honey water to her.

After she was done taking sips, her head felt a little better. Images of last night slowly came to her, but it was still fragmented.

Her mother sighed, her tone wistful. "Hiccup called last night, he told me where you were."

"Oh..." Astrid dared to look at her mother expecting her to be livid, she was only shaking her head.

"What's wrong... why aren't you mad at me." Astrid felt confused.

"You should go to the Haddock's and check it out yourself."

Hiccup, Astrid suddenly remembered last night. She wasn't herself last night, she had let go of many words she never meant to say to Hiccup.

A sense of urgency overcame her. Luckily she was still wore last night clothes that she was able to rush outside the house and head over to the Haddock's.

As soon as she arrived at the Haddock mansion, she noticed that the gates were left wide often. She hesitated for a moment, then she noticed one of the cars missing; Valka's car. Astrid quickened her pace, arriving shortly at the front door; it was also left wide open.

Cold settled in her spine as she ran through the door, thinking that there had been a robbery or an accident. But as soon as she entered the house, she found nothing out of ordinary. But there was something wrong with the air... it felt cold, stale, and empty.

When she arrived in the living room, she found Stoick alone, motionless, both hands in his face. Until today, she never thought it was possible for a man so huge to look so small, weak and broken.

Astrid approached him slowly. "Stoick?"

No answer.

Astrid cleared her throat, and spoke again. "Stoick?"

Stoick finally noticed her, he looked at her, his eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he had aged ten years.

Astrid swallowed. "What happened? What's wrong?"

Stoick only shook his head and muttered. "Val... My son... They left me... What have I done."

Memories from last night flashed in her head.

Mom and Dad are fighting again

You would know that if you answered any of my messages

Mom is leavi... nevermind

Goodbye, Astrid.

Astrid fell to her knees, realization dawning to her.

Hiccup took one of her hand, then hooked his pinky with her pinky.

"But I promise—I will never leave you, Astrid. Never."

.

.

.

~Promises~

end

Part 2