#anyways i think it would be silly and funny and camp

[starberrysap]

i’ve suddenly been struck by the strong need for a benoit blanc batfamily crossover fic

[saturnsfather]

yknow. if i had a nickel for every time i had a huge crush on someone, never did anything about it, then reconnected with them several years later only to be told that they Also Had Feelings For Me or Currently Have Feelings For Me, except because of the time distance or other factors i/we cant/wont do anything about it and then i pretty much never see them again, id have two nickels. which isnt a lot, but it sure did happen twice.

[clumsyclifford]

If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send this to the last 7 people in your notifs! Let’s get to know each other better! (Anon or not, it doesn’t matter)

THREE whole facts??? alright LFG

the current #1 song on my on repeat is the cure for breathing by voilà (great song everyone in the world should know it)

in 2021 i drank a grand total of 598 cups of tea

my only piece of stranger things merch is a racerback tank top that says "i dump your ass" in super colorful 80s font that i bought at an it'sugar in nyc like four years ago. after some intensive googling i have been completely unable to find any evidence that this tank top even exists much less was sold by it'sugar, but i guarantee it exists, because it is in my closet right now. it's possible i am the only person in the world who possesses this shirt

ETA: found a picture i took right after i bought the shirt so you can all see what im talking about

i realize this doesnt matter to anyone but it matters to me. a mystery that doesnt need solving but damn if etc etc

[jankwritten]

considering the first place that Nico and Jason meet in hockey AU is Vegas, I think I should write a spinoff AU of it where they actually get a little bit too drunk at the casino where they meet and, instead of going back to Nico's hotel to hang out, they wind up getting married somewhere. Might store that idea in my back pocket for a day when I want to write hockey AU but not REALLY hockey AU.

[gremlingottoosilly]

Cabin in the woods (yan!slasher!Konig x fem!Reader x yan!slasher!Horangi) part 2

You listen to the story about those woods. Turns out, real life is way, way nastier than any of those stories. Don't lose your head.

TW for the chapter: Blood, gore, dead bodies, slut shaming(usage of outdated horror tropes), knife play, blood play, mentions of STDs

— Do you know what animal is this? 

The body of a small creature – rodent, probably, you don’t think there could be any other animals around – was lying on the road near the place you decided to stay for the night. The “Coolest fucking thing in the world that is also just a few hours from here” was still a few hours from here because it was fucking dark and you already left your car on the sidewalk, hoping no one would steal it because honestly, why would anyone need this pile of burning crap. 

— According to the “Basic Bestiary of Austrian Animals” it might be an extremely rare Austrian Marmont.

You fucking hated Max. Mostly because his form of being different was “being an intelligent asshole” and also because he would never forget to rub the fact you were behind him in the grades into your face. 

— Waaaaaaait, a mamont? But it’s small! You have to give Karen – blonde, tan, tall, straight C everywhere except for her chest (then it would be D everywhere) – credit. As adorably silly as she was, she was still the only person you could have a meaningful conversation with. Except for the times when she was fucking your boyfriends. Or when she forgot that you don’t have a boyfriend so he doesn’t need to fuck random people just to spite you.

— Perhaps, if we are extremely lucky, a European edible dormouse, also known as…

— Fuuuuuck, people eat this thing? Yuck! Austria is like, literally the worst country EVER!

You feel like every second of this conversation, even though you are just listening to it, is going to take 10 years from your life span. You never knew why the two got together – maybe because Max loved fucking someone dumber than he is, and Gretchen loved placing the responsibility for her actions on her beloved sociopathic boyfriend. 

You wanted to say that this was literally a fucking squirrel, but you know better. Not like anyone is going to listen anyway. 

You get to the supposed location a few hours – already deep in the night, everything that you hate about forests – unkept environment, horrible living conditions, mosquitos, and occasionally wild animals are making you squirm each time your butt switches the place and you involuntarily sit on the cold, damp ground. You lick your lips, trying to adjust in the position in front of the fire. Fire that you probably shouldn’t be making in the middle of the private territory, but Chad said the place belongs to some weird hillbillies who wouldn’t care about a bunch of college grads having fun. 

You just finished the last of your coke – mixed with cheap whiskey and rum you got back at home, you feel just buzzy and fuzzy and relaxed enough to at least try to engage with people around you. Just didn’t want to make Jenny embarrassed – she was the one to vouch for you, even though you didn’t want to go camping with them. 

— I heard there is something happening in these woods. 

Everyone around you groans and you comply, groaning too. Chad has the worst storytelling voice and even Marty – the resident stoner of the group – is visibly unhappy about having to listen to his dumb jokes. Brace yourself for at least twenty minutes of dumb story with a cheap attempt to scare you. 

— You talk like those locals. What can be here except for drunkards? 

— Very fucking funny, Marty, I hope you laugh at people’s death too. 

Everyone groans again. 

— Shut up and let me finish! So, there is something hiding in those woods…legends…

— What legends? This place was built like 20 years ago. 

— Shut the fuck up, Max! It’s the legends before the town even was built. In those very forests…

— Forests? I thought it was like, just a suburban area. 

— It’s wild Austrian woods, why I would put you to adventure in the fucking suburbs? 

— You’re a suburb baby. 

— Shut it! God, I hate you guys. Alright, so…these woods are populated with…creatures. 

— Ooooh, like the mammoth we saw! 

— Karen, seriously, what the fuck? These woods are filled with motherfucking human-eating killers, not just some animals! 

— Then why do you say “creatures”? — Because it makes for a good fucking story! God, everyone, this is why none of you are studying creative writing! 

— Only your parents have money to pay for it. 

— This is why you all are fucking losers. Alright…god, I hate you. People went missing in these woods. Mostly tourists, never the local population – this is why police don’t care about it. Bodies were found, half-eaten, rotting under that very tree! 

— Which tree? There are like 10 of them just here. 

— More like 100. 

— Under every fucking tree! — That’s a lot of bodies. 

Chad groans, visibly aggressive. You just tilt your head to the side, only talking to him once before taking the last sip of your Coke and standing from your place. You wanted to take a chance to see those woods before you’d be going even deeper the next night – Chad was planning quite an adventure in the wilderness, to your dismay, and you wanted to have a chance to see the cool part of nature before you would grow tired of it. 

To your surprise, Karen was nowhere to be seen. Knowing the girl, she is far too innocent and dumb to be here – probably ran away to not listen to scary stories or got lost while trying to find a good place to pee. You sigh, feeling that it is your responsibility to pick her up – she is Marty’s girlfriend, but he is too stoned out to notice her disappearance yet. 

You stumble on your foot – alcohol makes you dizzy, makes you relaxed and smiley. You don’t even care that no one came to ask what the fuck you are doing – as far as you aware, they all can go and fuck themselves while you have a lot more fun things to do. Like searching for a drunk girl in the forest in the middle of the night…yeah, you really should work on your definition of fun. 

You already a good few minutes into the forest. Nothing but trees, not even a squirrel or a wolf pocking around to feast on yummy bodies. Not like you wanted to see a wolf, of course, but meeting with the wild life could be fun. You’d like to see a bear, for example. 

(And you will – just a bit later) 

— Karen? Karen, are you alright? You decide to scream for her once you are far enough from your friends that they won’t question why you are so concerned for her. Poor girl was obviously scared and you didn’t want to embarrass her even further, so you stroll through the woods, an empty bottle of coke in your hand – not sure why you didn’t threw it away. Littering isn’t nice, after all. 

— Karen? You’re scaring everyone, come out! 

You scream some more – she is probably lost, deep enough that she can’t even hear you. You try not to panic, try to be the reasonable friend – it’s usually Jenny’s task but here you are, trying to be the cool one of your friend group. You yell for Karen some more, listening closely to every little sound that could be easily taken as her whimper or cry for help. 

Nothing. 

Just how far can a scared drunk girl go? Probably not further away than you – you’re already starting to get tired and you knew that Sidhey got far drunker than you are. Which means she could lay here, somewhere, passed from the exhaustion, freezing, with forest animals feasting on her…no, no, you can’t think like that. She is fine, she has to be, or you are going to get into so much trouble with the police and her parents. You never told any of your families about the trip, so you wouldn’t want to get in trouble what ould require their assistance. 

You take a step into deeper part of the forest – and you think you saw a glimpse of…something. Metal, probably, might be her phone or that atrociour hair dye she is using to stop everyone from calling her a mouse. You also think you could hear a sound of someone breathing – heavily, gruffly, definitely a male, but you don’t really know how. You squint, trying to see through the trees. 

You see Karen. 

— Karen? God, you scared everyone…well, me. Where the fuck have you been? 

You smile and wave at her, your drunken state isn’t allowing you to see that, for some weird reason, she isn’t waving back. Or moving, so to speak. She stared at you with that terrified expression of hers and you tilt your head to the side, not udneratanding why is she like that. Something happened between her and others? 

You take another step back and Karen falls. 

Well…her head falls, anyway. 

There are a lot of feelings right now. Panic, panic, panic, a little bit of panic and, oh, who could have guessed, another riel of panic which makes you freak the fuck out and sprint – towards her. Maybe she will be alive if you could put her head back on her neck really-really fast? 

— Is it too late to convince you this is all a dream? 

The voice. 

You don’t recognize it – it’s distorted and quiet under the mask and you don’t know anyone int his fucking place anyways. The voice is weirdly happy, weirdly laughing and you want to vomit from how easy-going it sounds. Like the corpse of your beheaded friend is nothing, like it’s a fun pun, like…

You laungh forward, trying to, maybe, get revenge on your not-really-a-friend. Guy lets go of Karen’s body, allowing it to fall down, her head rolling to the nearest creek and tumbling into the water like a sports ball. You can’t even sob – the situation feels too unreal, too shocking, you are still very much drunk and when the guy simply wraps his hands around your waist, not allowing you to move even an inch, you fall limp in his hold. 

You sob. 

His hand goes to grasp your face in a tight embrace, making you gag from the smell of blood splattered all across his hand. You hear chuckle. 

— Didn’t want you to see that first. Wanted to play hero, yes? 

You sob, you tremble, you can barely master a few words out of your mouth. You want to scream, but it’s like all the air just decided to disappear from your lungs. So, you cry instead. How brave of you, Karen would be so proud of her friend not even trying to avenge her death. 

— F…fuck…you. 

You master with all you strength. Guy is laughing again – his other hand goes to squeeze your waist even more, pushing you against a tree. He wears a full mask with some red drawings on it – a satanic cult, really? You thought about serial killer, maybe, but definetly not about crazy cult maniacs running around. The more you know. 

— Oh, kitten, I’d love to fuck myself. But you’re here for this, no? 

He called you kitten – you squirm in his grasp, not wanting to give him the easy way to kill you. Something pokes you to the side – it’s a knife. Large, sharp, military-issued, you saw it in movie and action TV shows – and now the bloody razor almost grazing over your skin, through the thing fabric of your open jacter and a simple T-shirt. 

— Wh…who are you? 

Stpuid question, really. 

— Why does everyone wants to ask who we are all the time? Would you die happier knowing my name? Would it help you escape knowing how many beauty marks I have?

It would certainly help the police if you were to survive the encounter. Even though you are certainly going to die right next to Karen over there. 

He pushes a knife towards your side, the blade cutting through fabric easily, You brace yourself for being gutted alive. 

— I don’t like stupid questions. Ask something wrong and I will see if you are as pretty on the inside as you are on the outside. 

In a normal situation, you would punch him for such a corny joke. But you’re too drunk for this, but you’re too exhausted for this, but you just want to curl away in some nice place and fucking die, but not because he was the one to kill you. You certainly do not want to give him the satisfaction of being the one for you. 

So, you feel your cheeks heating up with the faintest of blushes. 

— What are you going to do with me?

He pushes the knife deeper, sharp edge cutting the thin line into your side. You sob immediately, tears filling your eyes as you almost feel blood – not a lot of it, just a tiny sharp streak – fill your shirt. You want to vomit, hate pain, and everything that is related to it. Thinking that the knife is dirty already and he would probably infect you with whatever one of the 13 STDs Karen has if he were to proceed. He stops right before the blade can penetrate your skin. 

— I’m a serial killer. What do you think I will do with you? 

You shake your head, trying to search for the question that won’t make him plunge a knife into your body. 

— W…what is your favorite color? 

Good job. Amazing job. Let’s hope you don’t like your liver all that much because he is definitely going to cut it out and eat it. 

— Red. I like you. 

Suddenly, you are being pushed to your knees. Suddenly, he is standing right in front of you – he is tall, of course, bulky and big, and he seems even bigger from this angle. Your face is pressed against his crotch and you can feel the dread slowly filling up your weins. Is he going to…

He presses a knife against your lips – you part it obediently, nervously, you feel your face twitching with disgust as your mouth immediately fills with the metallic taste of Karen’s blood. You really need to vomit right fucking now, but he is petting your head with his other hand like someone would do to a dog or a cat, and you sob. Too scared to do anything and here you thought you would finally stop letting people walk all over you. You thought it would start a journey of self-actualization and finding your own priorities, but…

He presses the knife a bit deeper. 

— Someone here has manners. Your friend here was trying to fuck me until she saw a knife. 

Sounds like Karen. You still remember her fucked-out face when she happily stumbled out of your room, with your boyfriend that you thought was never into cheerleaders. She had her urges and it was normal until she started to get off with those urges on everyone who liked you, or who you liked – and with such an innocent smile that no one was ever mad at her. 

He presses the knife against your upper jaw, laying it flat on your tongue – you sob, trying not to shake your head too much as he wipes away your tears and pushes your throat even deeper on the blade. You don’t know how it still hasn’t penetrated you yet. 

— Squealed like a fucking pig, not even fun anymore. I assume she was the whore of your group? 

You shook your shoulders, not wanting to give him any answers. He laughs, pressing the blade down and slightly turning it to the side. You feel the string of saliva running from your open mouth – he wipes it with his finger, leaving blood stains on your face. 

— Clean the knife for me, okay? I might leave you live if you would be good for us. You launch onto the opportunity to save your life so quickly, that you don’t even register the word “us” slipping from his tongue. 

You suck the knife obediently, carefully holding your tongue from the sharp edge so you won’t cut yourself, trying so desperately not to hurt yourself on the blade, that it’s almost adorable, He looks at you, the way you even fucking hollow your cheeks to clean it more efficiently, like you were sucking a cock and, with every passing second, he doesn’t really feel like killing you anymore. 

He feels like keeping you bound to him – maybe cutting your ankles so you would never run away from them, maybe tying you up to the body of your friend and holstering you both to the house, making you watch him gut Karen so you’d know not to run away from them. 

He pets your head like you were a cat – and, god, he always adored cats. 

You hear the noises from the side – your gaze darts to the nearest bushes as the guy waves his hand to someone gigantic sitting down at your side. Two pair of hands are now petting your head like you were a fucking animal – and you’re still sucking on his knife, feeling the pressure on your lips. You want to die, but there is no choice but to keep living. 

— Scheisse, what do you have here? 

A hand goes to cup your face and turns you to the side, to meet the giant, bulky figure fully wrapped in camo gear. His face is concealed with some sort of hood, which makes you shake even more. They both look like soldiers – or soldier-cultist-butchers from a horror movie. But, then again, you are in the fucking horror movie, since the big guy has Karen’s head in his hand, holding her by the hair. You sob even more. 

— Stumbled across me as I was gutting the slut. 

— Is she a smart one then? 

The guy with the knife laughs, yanking the blade from your mouth. You want to close it immediately, but the second guy pushes his finger between your lips, keeping them apart – and you are too scared to even try to bite him. Instead, you sit here, obediently, feeling the alcohol in your system working its magic. Again. Making you drowsy and relaxed, panic drained so much energy from your body, that you genuinely feel horrible. 

— No, wouldn’t say so. Obedient, more like. 

— Not a cool one either. Are you a virgin, Schatz? 

You want to lie, just so you won’t feel so fucking embarrassed because of it – but something in the brutality of what they did to Karen made you reconsider. You just shake your shoulders, not wanting to give a definitive answer. 

— Cute. Been some time since we saw a cute one like this. 

Your sobbing intensifies and the big guy suddenly yanks you on your feet. You immediately feel ill, pressing your head against the tree and emptying your insides – mostly because of the panic and partly because of the amount of alcohol you drank. Their touches are surprisingly soft on your skin, gently removing any stray hairs from your face and holding a firm hand on your back, rubbing the blood and grim into your jacket. 

You stand like this for a few minutes, choking on your own tears, vomit, and blood. They coo at you, gentle hands on your body guiding you towards them just so the second guy – a smaller one, relatively of course – could get a hand in your hair and yank it back. Hard. 

— Calm the fuck down. 

— You’re scaring her, Tigeren. 

— Aren’t we here for this? 

— Thought you liked this one. 

— I do. But…

— But? 

— Not fun to take her just now. She can help stir her friends a little. Make them run a little. 

They fucking killed Karen and they want to…let you go? They made you clean their knives, stand on your knees in front of them, and then gently helped you empty your insides – just to let you go when you could run into the nearest policeman and destroy their whole little game? Are they dumb or overly confident? 

— She could run. I would rather keep her with us. 

— They won’t get out of these forests without phones. And their car is already…shit. Spoilers. 

— Alright. But I would be the first to take her next time. 

— She won’t be any good after you, Ko. 

— Our Kleine Hase has more than one hole, ja? 

This is it. 

You take the opportunity – they are distracted by their little conversation, so you duck under the hand of the bigger man and run in the close direction to where the group is sitting. You are covered in blood, and dirt, you shake like crazy and you can barely even run straight without getting right into the various trees, but you don’t care. You aren’t strong enough to sit here and listen to their conversation – not when the self-preservation makes you forget about Karen. Not when that feeling in your chest can only be described as “She got what she asked for” – because she was a bitch, but not nearly enough to deserve being beheaded by two psychos. 

They laugh as they watch you run. Horangi smiles, nudging Konig to the side – you’re not a fighter, but still interesting enough. Adorable and obedient, just vile enough to suck on the same knife that killed your friend – interesting mix, to say the least. Hongjin always wanted a cat, but never got the time on the various deployments – and you behave like a perfect mix of a kitten and bunny. 

Konig tilts his head to the side, watching you, this pathetic little thing, run like the devil was after you. He was, of course. and he came in double, but it was still funny, how a city girl like you seriously thought you would be able to get away if they weren’t allowing you to. You’re cute, for a tourist, and he wants to hunt you some more – perfect foreplay before destroying you with either his cock or his knife. 

One down – and both of them couldn’t wait to finally get to you. 

[spongeyspot]

Toxic Traits/Red Flags HC

Characters: Arthur, Javier, John, Lenny, Dutch, Micah, Charles, Sean, Hosea, Mary Beth, Abigail, Tilly, Karen, Sadie, Molly

(A/N): WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS DAWG. I LOVED @cowboyfromh3ll 's take on that shit sm and these hcs have literally been swimming in my head for weeeeeeeeks bro

Edit: some of these were kinda hard because there's not a lot of bad in the characters themselves... I had trouble with specifically Charles, Lenny, Mary Beth, and Tilly. Sorry if they may be OOC. IM EVEN DOING THE GIRLS BECAUSE IM IN A SILLY GOOFY MOOD

Content Warning: female reader, jealousy, self hate, narcissism, gaslighting, physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, mentions of murder and violence, mentions of infidelity, mentions of sex (Sean, Micah, Sadie kind of) (MINORS DNI)

Not edited btw

The boys

Arthur Morgan

- Honestly, I feel like Arthur would have this insane, crippling fear of rejection, especially when it comes to dating. - His self hate/deprecation plays a huge part in this, and quite honestly, him and Mary not working out probably also probably contributed to it. - Very emotionally distant. Has a hard time expressing his feelings openly due to that same fear of rejection.🚩 - Bottles shit up until he feels like he's gonna explode 🚩 - His impulse control is almost nonexistent 🚩 - Will resort to saying things that he doesn't even mean. He just says things when he's angry🚩 - Will hate himself even more if he makes you cry - Won't hesitate to run away from camp for a while to cool off. This isn't necessarily a bad thing per se, but he usually takes his time away to overthink the fuck out of everything - Prone to acting violent. (not to someone he cared about, but to other people, absolutely)Also due to his poor impulse control. 🚩

Javier Escuella

- Has a flirty personality, but around women, it just seems to get worse. 🚩 - Tells you you're overreacting if you tell him it bothers you🚩 - Overprotective of you. Always has his eyes on you, and practically orders you to stay in camp where it's safe. - As if you step one foot outside the camp without him, you'll spontaneously drop dead - Jealous asf. Are you laughing at what Bill just said? It wasn't even that funny. Why are you standing so close to him? You should be at least 6 feet away from him, not 5 and a half. 🚩 - Also has a problem with how you dress sometimes. God forbid your shirt is ever low cut. He'd probably ask you to change. 🚩 - And if you get offended or upset, he'll lie and tell you it's because he can't stop staring at your chest, and he'd like to focus of whatever it was he was doing.🚩

John Marston

- Stubborn as all hell. Doesn't listen to anybody for anything.🚩 - Commitment issues up the ass - Says mean things out of anger and sometimes actually means them 🚩 - Won't apologize half the time. He thinks kissing it better actually makes it better 🚩 - Regularly ignores his own bad habits instead of actually facing them 🚩 - Will run away from problems like Arthur, but worse. He'd be gone a really long time.🚩 - Gets annoyed with you if you get angry at him for leaving and staying away for a while. He told you he needed space, didn't he? What else do you need from him?? 🚩 - Ignorantly clueless half the time. Head empty, no thoughts.

Lenny Summers

- Not assertive in the slightest, and usually, respectfully, keeps to himself. -Takes orders without verbal complaints but inside he's annoyed as fuck 🚩 - Even if he hates doing something he'll probably just go "Okay" and do it anyway, and he'll sulk all day afterwards - Refuses to tell you what's wrong because he thinks he'll sound childish.🚩 - If you push the issue, he might snap at you out of annoyance like "Would you just let it be??" - Immediately feels guilty and shameful, and he'll hide away until he's ready to apologize and face you again - Also kind of a know-it-all... He'll correct you a LOT. It would get annoying 🚩 - Would blatantly tell you you're wrong before correcting you🚩 - Not necessarily an asshole about it but he still tends to get under your skin sometimes

Dutch Van Der Linde

- The BIGGEST Narcissist you'll ever meet.🚩 -He loses another piece of his mental state with every breath he takes. Slowly but surely losing his mind.🚩 - King of gaslighting🚩 - How could you even think that about him? He could never do anything wrong! You must be crazy...🚩 - Tries to recite his "pretty words" from Evelyn Miller to try and sound smarter than he actually is 🚩 - Expects you to just feed his ego without him actually doing anything to earn it🚩 - Will try to correct you even when he's wrong🚩 - Refuses to admit he's wrong. He can never be wrong. That word isn't even in his vocabulary unless he's talking about literally anyone but himself🚩

Micah Bell

- Where do I even start with this guy - Not above putting his hands on you if he doesn't get his way. Let's be honest here.🚩 - Mega Narccisist, almost as bad as Dutch 🚩 - Will brag and share every sexual encounter you've ever had with him like he's talking about the weather🚩 - VERY prone to Violence 🚩 - NO impulse control. Murders people for fun.🚩 - Backhanded and borderline abusive compliments 24/7 "You'd look so good if you weren't so fucking fat..." 🚩 - Selfish lover. Thinks just sticking it in will do the trick, and it does, for him at least.🚩 - Little to no affection. What are you? His girlfriend? Wait...🚩 -If he actually does show you affection, and you react in surprise, he'll tell you to go fuck yourself, and that that's the last time he ever does anything nice for you.🚩

Charles Smith

- Impossible to read sometimes - Like Arthur, Charles tends to keep a lot of his emotions bottled up until he feels like he's gonna pop 🚩 - Like most of the men in the Van Der Linde gang, Charles is also prone to acting violently. I mean, he started a bar fight with a fucking chair, and he fights in street fighting rings, let's be real for a second.🚩 - He's incredibly quiet and reserved a lot of the time, and sometimes you just assume that he's listening to you when you talk, but a lot of the time, he's lost in his own thoughts. - Will do everything anyone asks him to at the expense of his own free time and energy, and sometimes he works himself to exhaustion just to try and please everyone.🚩 - In doing so, he sometimes doesn't have time for himself at the end of the day. It also seems like you spend time together less and less as the days go on. - If he ever got himself hurt and you tried to help him, he'd decline any help with anything to save his own pride. The last thing he needs is you thinking he's weak. 🚩 - Extremely Overprotective. Like to the point where he'd beat the shit out of anybody you asked him to🚩

Sean Macguire

- An Alcoholic🚩 - horny 99% of the time, but half that time he probably has whiskey dick. Still asks you to try but doesn't understand that it's like trying to play pool with a rope... - If he can manage to be sober enough to actually get it up, and you're not in the mood, he'd get pissy and annoyed with you for "wasting his boner" 🚩 - Will probably also brag about having sex with you to everyone🚩 - Needy as all hell - Bro sulks on purpose - Low key loves the attention you give him when you continue to ask him what's wrong, but he never actually tells you and constantly says "I'm fine..." or "It's nothing..." 🚩 - But then sighs dramatically and continues sulking and dragging his feet so you keep giving him more attention 🚩

Hosea Matthews

- Ignores his physical health until he's practically dying. You've told him to get that cough looked at for literal years and he just says "I will" and does nothing 🚩 - sometimes talks to you as if you're a child especially if he's around Dutch -low key gaslights you sometimes 🚩 - and he says it with such a gentle tone, its hard to catch it 🚩

The girls

Mary Beth Gaskill

- Daydreams way too much - Likes to live in her romance novel fantasy land rather than face reality 🚩 - Cries a lot - Tries to be angry but can't help but cry instead - If crying makes you feel bad for her, she'll probably do it on purpose so you comfort her and give her attention🚩 -If you're in a fight, she'll turn on the crocodile tears to get you to stop being angry with her or whatever it is you're arguing about.🚩

Abigail Roberts

- She can be verbally abusive if she's pushed far enough 🚩 - Holds in a lot of her emotions🚩 - Neglectful of her own personal needs to make sure you or Jack are fully provided or cared for🚩 - a lot of the time, when she's upset with you, you're probably given the cold shoulder and the silent treatment - incredibly protective. Not necessarily a bad thing, but she can sometimes be super overbearing.

Tilly Jackson

- Tells it how she sees it, sometimes accidentally sounding a lot colder than she means to 🚩 - Too sarcastic for her own good 🚩 - Laughs a little too much sometimes when you tell a joke, and you can often tell it's actually incredibly fake🚩 - gets irritated really easily, especially if she's bothered while doing her chores. The last thing she needs is Grimshaw on her ass again.🚩 - irritable a lot of the time, unintentionally becoming short or snapping at you - like john, she also believes that kissing it better is better than actually apologizing

Karen Jones

- An alcoholic 🚩 - picks fights with you for fun, finds it entertaining to see how red your face can get from anger 🚩 - Screaming matches are a regular occurance between you guys, and she starts it almost every time 🚩 - Pretty jealous when it comes to the opposite sex🚩 - Has self doubt and believes that she can't give you everything a man probably could

Sadie Adler

- The nosiest woman in America. No chill. She reads everyone's mail. - Makes a lot of loose threats 🚩 - Anger issues🚩 - Low impulse control🚩 - Can be a little too rough sometimes 🚩 - If she's upset with you, she'll either yell or storm off. Sometimes both. 🚩 -(She tends to walk away a lot more often because she's actuall self aware that her anger issues are a problem) - She'd never admit that to you though.

Molly O'Shea

- Even more jealous than Javier🚩 - Glares at and envies anyone you talk to that isn't her🚩 - Has immaginary conversations with people in her head🚩 - Rubbing her hands together when the real life conversations are following the script she had planned out in her brain - Needs constant reassurance - "D'you even love me anymore?!"🚩 - Overthinks everything 🚩 - Paranoid as hell about infidelity - Gets mad at you when she dreams about you cheating on her🚩

[vanwritesfan-fiction]

Wide Open Spaces

Travis takes you on the annual Kelce family camping trip, your first opportunity to make a good impression with his family, or so you think

Dedicated to @princessmermaid1289 for their birthday!

"I don't think you're putting it together right, Travis." You flipped the white instruction pamphlet around in your hands, squinting your eyes at the diagrams on the page.

"Let me see this." Travis stepped out of the nylon tent, dragging it along the ground with him as he stood up. You passed him the paper, giggling to yourself as you watched the gears turn in his head to no avail. He let out a frustrated huff, throwing the posts down on the ground.

"Travis was never good at the whole reading instructions thing." Jason walked into the campground, placing his and Kylie's bags with the rest of the provisions. "Come to think about it, he's never been good with reading either." Travis flipped Jason the middle finger, earning a hearty chuckle from his older brother. Kylie filed in behind her husband, struggling to hold the cooler in her arms.

"Here, let me help you, Kylie." You shuffled over to grab one end of the plastic container, helping her place it atop the picnic table.

"How is she holding up?" Jason asked Travis just above a whisper, once you were out of earshot. Travis removed his baseball cap, wiping the sweat from his brow. "So far so good."

It started a couple of years ago. Things were going really good for Travis in pretty much every area of his life except dating. He was at the top of his game in football, and his popularity garnered him many a endorsement and brand collaboration. It also meant that women flocked to him in a way they had never before, and he wasn't sure who he could trust, and who was in it for the potential money and fame that came with dating him.

Jason suggested a test, a way to see if the girl was really interested in Travis for who he was and not what he could provide for them. They each were invited on the camping trip for the weekend, and Travis and Jason would put up bets to see how long they could last.

At first it was just some silly competition between brothers, but they quickly realized that it was a solid way to see who was in it for the long haul.

Travis was really hoping you passed the test this weekend. He was head over heels in love with you, and he really saw a future together.

****

You finally got the tent up just as the sun started to set, a cool breeze moving through the campsite. You slipped on one of Travis' hoodies before heading over to the picnic table to help Kylie with dinner prep. Travis and Jason already had a couple of beers in them, the cans collecting by the fire pit as they traded some funny childhood stories.

"Y/N, did Travis ever tell you how he wet the bed until he was 12 years old?" Jason hiccuped as he downed the last sip of his IPA, crushing the can in his hand. You could make out Travis's blush of embarrassment through the haze of dusk. "Oh my god, I stopped when I was like nine!" You let out a belly laugh as you cut up a few carrots. "You say that like its so much better." Jason continued to joke at his brother's expense.

"Why don't the two of you go get us some more firewood?", Kylie suggested, earning a loud groan from the two men. "Let's go man. I gotta take a piss anyway." Travis walked into the woods, Jason stumbling behind him.

****

Kylie looked up at you from her spot, giving you a gentle smile. The two of you had gotten really close over the last couple of months, and you considered her a friend. "Are you having a good time?" You nodded as you rubbed your arms, trying to warm yourself. "I am. I used to go camping all the time with my dad growing up, it was our own little tradition like what Travis and Jason have."

"I'm sure they didn't account for that." Kylie scrunches her eyebrows, letting out a quiet chuckle.

"Didn't account for what?", you asked.

She sighed, wiping her hands on her pant legs. "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I really like you, and I think that you and Travis have something. This weekend is a test."

You shook your head, not completely understanding. "A test? What kind of test?"

"A test of your relationship", she continued, "see if you could handle roughing it. I had no idea at the time, but Jason put me through the same thing when we were dating." You felt your stomach drop, your throat drying up. You really cared about Travis, but you didn't think he needed you to prove it. Was he unsure about your relationship?

Kylie placed a hand over yours, offering you comfort. She could see the worry flash over your face. "I know its not what you were expecting, but I get why they do it. All the money and the fame comes with a lot of fake people. They really are good guys. I hope this doesn't make you hate Travis."

"Hate, no. But I am a little pissed." You admitted, letting out a humourless laugh. "I was expecting a relaxing weekend, and instead I find out my boyfriend is trying to test my character."

"If you're up for it. I think I have an idea of how we can give them a taste of their own medicine." You spent the next couple of minutes planning your revenge with Kylie.

****

The last embers from the fire were beginning to die down, exhaustion from the day starting to weigh on you.

"I think I'm going to head to bed." You yawned out, patting Travis on the shoulder as you passed him. "I think I'll join you."

"Actually, Kylie and I were thinking we'd share a tent, and you could bunk with your brother. Just for tonight, we realized we could use some girl time."

"Are you sure?" Travis grabbed your hand, stopping you before you reached the tent.

"Yes, good night." You gave him a quick peck on the lips before walking away.

Travis tossed around in his sleeping bag, groaning as he propped an arm behind his head. He had gotten maybe 10 minutes of sleep before Jason started snoring, a sound that rivaled a bear's growl. Shoving him in the side did nothing to stop the torment, only giving him a few seconds of silence before the snores started again.

The woods were silent aside from a rustling in the trees. Travis listened intently to the sounds around him, his eyelids slowly closing.

****

They shot open to a booming sound, as if something had fallen from the trees.

"Jason. Jason." Travis whispered aggressively, trying to wake his brother up. "What?" he finally groaned, scratching his stomach.

"Did we tie up the food? I think I hear a bear outside."

"Yeah, I made sure of it. There is no way a bear is gonna wander into our campsite. Go back to sleep", Jason remarked as he turned over.

The next sound was much louder, as if some branches had fallen.

"What the fuck was that?" Jason sat up, running his fingers through his hair.

"I thought it was NoThInG?" Travis mocked, sitting up as well. "My wife and your girlfriend are probably fighting for their lives right now in their tent, and you want to mock me?"

"I'm sure they're fine. Like you said, we tied up the food. It was probably just an owl or something." Travis searched for his phone as Jason got up. "I'm gonna go check on them." As he reached for the entrance zipper, the tent began to shake violently.

"I'm getting the fuck out of here!" The Kelce brothers hustled out of the tent, only to be met with a splash of water to the face. "Gotcha!" You billowed over in laughter, watching Travis try to catch his breath, his clothes drenched.

"What the hell was that for? We thought you were in trouble." Travis wrung out his t-shirt, "That wasn't funny, babe."

You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. "No Travis, you know what's not funny? You inviting me here under the pretense that I was going to get to enjoy a weekend with you and your family, but really it was a test to see if I was a gold digger." You thought the whole situation didn't bother you, but as the words rolled off of your tongue, you realized you were truly hurt. Jason made eye contact with Kylie, mouthing 'what the hell' are her.

"She deserved to know, Jason. I really like her." Kylie shrugged her shoulders.

Travis took a step toward you. "Listen, baby, I can explain." You stopped him before he could lay a hand on you. "Just don't. I'm going back to bed, I'll see you all in the morning." You excused yourself from the group before Travis could get another word out.

****

You were wide awake for most of the night, running the last couple of months of your relationship with Travis through your mind, trying to pinpoint if there was ever a time when you had given the impression you wanted more from him than just him. Resolving that you weren't going to get any sleep, you got out of the tent, adjusting your eyes to the bright light of the morning. The campsite was empty, the sun barely visible over the horizon.

"Good morning", you jumped at the sound of Jason's voice, his hands full a tackle box and two fishing poles as he walked over to you. You stayed silent, kind of pissed at Travis' accomplice in all of this.

"Ah, the silent treatment. I know it well, Kylie gives it to me all the time." You let out a quiet chuckle at his joke, tight lipped otherwise. "There she is. I could use a partner for my fishing, makes the whole experience a lot less boring." Jason held up his tackle box, a proverbial white flag for his part in this weekend.

"Don't you think you should ask Travis?" Fishing really wasn't your forte, and you didn't think you'd be a good companion in your current mood.

"Uh, Travis, no. He's never been one for fishing. Besides, I think I owe you an apology for yesterday."

****

You sat on a rock while Jason set up your fishing pole for you, effortlessly flinging the line into the river before handing it to you. "I always said that if I wasn't in the NFL, I'd want to be one of those professional fishers. Just me, Winnie and Baloo on the water all day." Jason hummed as he casted his own line, leaning back on his forearms. You gave him a soft smile, pulling your arms into your sweater sleeves for warmth. You both sat in silence for a moment, listening to the water crash off the bank.

"My dad loves fishing, we used to spend pretty much every weekend either camping or fishing together. It was a big part of my childhood." You reeled your line in a bit when you thought you had bite, recasting when you realized you had just gotten caught on a branch.

"I had no idea." Jason adjusted his hat. "There's a lot of things you don't know about me." You let out a humorless laugh.

"You're right", he nodded, looking over at you. "And I owe you an apology. I really am sorry for misleading you this weekend. Travis has had his fair share of interesting girlfriends, and with everything that has happened in our career, I'm just very protective of him." Jason knew it probably didn't mean much coming from him, but he thought you at least deserved an explanation.

"I really do care about your brother, Travis. I'm not in it for the money or the fame." You swallowed, your eyes beginning to water. You let out a shaky breath, wiping your face with your sleeve.

"I know, I know. You two are really good together. I should have realized a long time ago that you were different. Hell, you're probably too good for my brother." You both chuckled. "Thank you, I accept your apology." Your moment was interrupted when you felt your fishing pole tug in your hands, your line starting to run away.

"Grab it, grab it." Jason instructed, guiding you as you reeled in your line. "Whatever it is, its gotta big huge if its giving you this much trouble!" You used all of your strength, handing it over to Jason when you lost your grip. As the last few meters of line came in, the giant catch was revealed: a tiny fathead minnow, probably weighed no more than a couple ounces.

"Ha!", you called out, allowing yourself to laugh and let the worry from earlier leave you. "You're welcome for breakfast this morning."

****

Travis' eyes lit up when he saw you walking back from the lake. He stood up, wringing his hands together in nervousness.

"We'll give you two some privacy." Jason and Kylie walked off to the car while you approached Travis. "Hi, did you sleep okay?" You could see the bags under his eyes; he probably got as much sleep as you did last night.

"Uh, no. I kept myself awake thinking of ways to apologize to you." You took his hand, your gaze falling as you rubbed your thumb over his knuckles. "Travis, there is no need to apologize. I know why you did what you did. You're not sure who you can trust now that you're Travis Kelce, best tight end in the league." You gave him a genuine smile.

"That's no excuse. You're not like any of the other girls I've dated."

"People keep saying that, but I don't know what that means." You climbed onto the top of the picnic table, Travis settling down next to you. "I just mean, I didn't have any doubts about you before we got here. You mean the world to me, baby."

"I'm so glad to hear you say that, Travis. I really care about you too." Your eyes dropped to his lips, Travis lifting your chin to meet his lips, your kiss soft and gentle.

"Good, the two of you have made up. Now we can all eat breakfast." Jason and Kylie returned with some bread, peanut butter and jelly for sandwiches.

"Wait, you guys didn't get any fish when you went out this morning?" Travis questioned, jumping off the table.

"Nothing was biting this morning, we'll try again tomorrow." Jason gave you a wink as he handed you a plate.

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[writella]

just read ‘working it out’ and to say the least it was amazinggg. a pt 2 where they get to finish what they started without the interruption of officer cockblock would be equally amazinggg ! keep up the good work, can’t wait to read more ! ❤️

Hi again, lovely reader! ♡ You’re so sweet and I appreciate you so much!! You and @murdadixon with the sheriff/officer cockblock is still sooo silly and funny, you made me laugh!! Anyway here’s what I got for you, let me know if you like it!

For any new readers, even though I use a line from the previous work and reference it a few times, this can still be read on its own I think, but if you’d like to read that one (Working It Out) there it is!

This includes smut of course— a bit softer than the first part, a relationship confirmation, and Daryl and the reader being totally in love with each other even if they don’t say it; such cuties.

Two weeks have passed. Another fourteen days of walking, and walking, and walking. Eating plants and berries deemed as safe, and those where few and far between. Not to mention, the amount that each of you shared evenly when you found something could be counted on your fingers— it was practically nothing.

You guys needed to find a cabin again, or get back to the towns, maybe find a house or supermarket or drugstore. You were so deep in the wilderness.

That car Rick and Michonne found didn’t take you any far. All of you couldn’t fit in it, anyway. Each of you took turns riding and sitting in it, trying to find a new place to camp in. You did this for six days until the car gave out.

Despite the lush greenery that surrounded you, it was needless to say that this had been a more than bleak half of a month.

Daryl brought the color back to you, just a little at least. He would always opt to stand and walk closer to you and the group as you all continued your trek; and he’d even offer you a little of his food sometimes, although you always refused— “we all need to stay alive right now,” you’d whisper, “but you’re sweet.” You couldn’t tell if it made him smile or blush or not, but part part of you wondered; he didn’t look you in the eye, and that usually meant there was something there he didn’t want you to see. And there was always the way you would feel his hand on your back at times, pushing you forward when the endless walking slowed you down to exhaustion. He always gently guided you to keep moving.

His silent kindness was so tender, so needed.

But he was still quiet, and in some ways, you couldn’t even blame him. It’s just who he is; and it’s sort of who you all were becoming right now. There was nothing to talk about unless it had to do with food, a plan to find shelter, or killing walkers that got in the way. And with all of you together all the time, there really wasn’t a moment to talk about the state of your relationship, but your mind kept rewinding and turning over with his previous words, I’ll kiss you like this anywhere… Any way you want. You longed for the day that this would be true. If these words were food, they were the only thing sustaining you; it was the only thing good to think about at all.

A few more days had past until you finally caught a break. You saw Rick starting to run as he shouted Carl’s name. He was running ahead of him, “I think I see something!” Carl told the group.

It was a barn. Completely desolate, the wooden walls almost looked unstable, but there was a roof. It was a place to sleep. At least for the night.

“Thank God.” Gabriel’s exhale matched the whirling wind as he said it, it was a true release; a relief. Some may not have had the same beliefs as him or thought the barn was anything that special, but no one disagreed. The barn door had a latch and a couple of blankets someone must had left. As little as it was, it was something to be just the littlest bit thankful for after sleeping on the dirt with nothing for what felt like ages.

As night rolled in, you were lucky enough to get a corner spot. It was one of the ones that was closest to the door. You had taken care of Judith during the day, so you had sat there most of the time trying to keep her quiet and entertaining her. You even got to take a nap when she did. She was so warm, it was nice. You almost felt sad when Rick relieved you of her, but because of it you offered to take first watch, knowing you were more rested than the others.

Your stuff was still in place, but you moved closer to the door, using the slit between the door and the rest of the wall as a peephole to look through when you remembered or when you heard any strange.

Daryl moved himself to your spot. The barn was dark, but you could tell it was him based on how he walked. He took his steps with the sway of his hips, his feet heavy as they tapped on the ground when he didn’t care if he was seen or not, different from when he hunts.

He put his stuff down in the corner with yours and right when you thought he was probably going to lay down himself, he comes up to you.

“Daryl, sleep.” It was a soft demand.

“Can’t.” He said simply, moving closer to the door to sit with you. He was so close that your arms and knees touched. You took the opportunity to rest your head on his shoulder even if it wasn’t an invitation. He doesn’t protest. His head lightly rests on yours actually.

“It’s so cold,” you whisper, taking the sheet off your legs, it was so thin, it did nothing, and the cracks between the old barn’s wooden panels didn’t help either, the wind seeping through much stronger as the night went on.

Daryl rubbed his hands on your lower leg— the calf, heating it up until one of his hands rests on your knee, the action made you laugh lightly. It was a kind attempt. Then, his hand started lowering to your inner thigh. It was just to the middle of it. It didn’t have to be anything more if you didn’t want it to be, it could have just been a gentle hand, trying to warm you up, though you couldn’t help but to let yourself close the gap between your legs; allowing him to heat you in a different way. Slowly, he pushed his hand further down.

Once he reached your center he turned his palm inward, his fingers pressing into you over your jeans. You rocked up to him, closing your eyes, turning you head away from him as your breathed in sharply. You were quiet, other than your exhales that came out of your nose, but you tried for them to sound as small and short as you could.

One of your knees caved inward to build upon the pressure, trying to lock his hand in further. He dipped his hand into your pants without even unbuttoning them, stretching the denim to fit his thick fingers beneath. He started to slide his middle finger through your wetness until it found your hole and he slide right in, circling while his palm rubbed against you on top. It made you reach out for his shoulder tightly.

“Daryl,” your whisper was piercing as you gasped. “Can we go outside?”

He nodded to you, though you could only see it slightly through the darkness of the barn. You eyes widened as he unexpectedly picked you up, it was a wordless and soundless motion. He opened the latch of the barn, taking you to the outer back side, then gently placing you on feet.

Your eyes matched the stars of the sky. Was this finally going to happen? Everyone was asleep, or so it seemed. No one else was around…

The realization made you notice how big he was in that moment: his broad shoulders and arms, his hands, his bulge… it makes you look back up at his face again right when you reach it. You stand there for a moment, you eyes fixed on him, the limitless sensation of right now overwhelming you until— instinct kicks in, your actions, almost animalistic. You were so used to respecting this blurred-line-friendship you didn’t know what he would think to see you so eager, so desperate again, but your shirt and bra and pants come off immediately. You wanted him. So bad.

If you all died tonight it was your fault. You were doing a horrible job at keeping watch, but your mind was absolutely elsewhere that you didn’t even think of it.

You look up at him as you continue and notice he is repeating your actions at the same force, it makes you smile excitedly, it was comforting as much as it was so, so dirty. Here you were, starting to have sex outside… again. Was this you? Maybe for Daryl. No, definitely for Daryl.

You instantly put your hands on his chest and abdomen when he was done undressing and you kiss him, it’s just in the way you’ve always wanted to, the way you’ve dreamed about.

His hands goes to your waist as you do so and one of them travels farther to your ass, pressing on it as he pushes you up to his height. Your hands go over his shoulder and you’re on your toes to help.

He gently pushes you toward the wall and you slide down on it, you could get splinters but you’re not thinking, you don’t care. There is only him right now, there is only finally getting to touch him right now.

You lay yourself on the ground and he goes above you. Neither of you even think about him touching you more to get you more wet as you see him hardened, as you see him throbbing. It makes you throb. It makes you whine.

His actions say don’t worry, as he kisses your chest between your breast once before he slowly pushes into you, watching himself go in. Enjoying the way it looks as he bottoms out until he’s hovering over you, closer now. He kisses you quickly on the lips before starting to thrust and moving in, and out, and in, in, in. “Mmmm.”

Then he exhales, a breathy sigh, and you do to. So good, you think, “So good” you sigh out. “Thank you.” You stroke his hair.

“It feels really good,” he agrees. You’ve never seen him be so soft, it makes you giggle. You like this side of him.

You hand travels from his hair, to his neck and down to his back. Your other hand comes to his back to match and your knees move forward around him as well. You are light with your touches, you’ve yet to touch his back almost at all before, especially not like this.

“I want to make you come,” he says lowly, it’s almost comical how genuine and sincere he means it, but he does. His voice soft despite its rasp.

“You can,” you reassure; you’re so sure, in fact. You’ve wanted this forever.

He starts to speed up, but it’s more of a deep and full explosion of movements than it is a hard and fast one. You feel it everywhere, it feels like this perfect balance between sex for lust and sex for showing his love. Your moan sounds beautiful, it sounds like finally. He loves it.

His head goes into your neck and both your mouths are open, you’re both panting, you’re both smiling, you’re both happy. So happy and feelings so good that you want it to last forever.

Your eyes open and you see the stars again. They match the stars in your eyes, you can’t tell which are real and which are fake or if you’re seeing anything that’s real at all right now. You don’t even know if this is a hunger ridden hallucination as you see a star shoot across the sky and feel it right at the bottom of your stomach as you both come undone. It’s the first time you’ve felt complete.

He colapses onto you now, you feel all his weight and you don’t care. His forehead is on yours and you hold the sides of his face. It feels infinite.

You don’t know how much or how little time passes until you hear, “So, that’s you keepin’ watch, kid?” The sound make Daryl’s head go up and your hands go straight to your head. Why is it always the leader of your group to find you like this?

“Why you always watching?” Daryl finds your shirt and puts it over your head again before he tries to cover himself up.

“Just came out to use the bathroom, Daryl.”

As Rick started walking to a tree, his smirk is still firmly placed he says, “I’m sure you two tired yourselves out, I’ll take watch for now.” He looked back, knowing you were clothed now, smiling directly at you, “Goodnight.” The look was almost actually sincere. If he did see anything, maybe he knows it wasn’t what he saw last time… at least not entirely.

As you see his body move out of sight, Daryl turns to you, “You need to stop gettin’ embarrassed by him.” He finishes putting on the rest of his clothes, leaving his vest on the ground, and he brings you closer to him, leaning you two against the barn wall. You nod you head, acknowledging his words and his arms go around your shoulder and you melted into it. The cold air finally getting to you again as the heat of the moment passes and your flushed face starts to fade.

You look up at him from his shoulder, “Daryl?”

“Yeah,” he saw your mouth slightly open, the words were on your tongue and he knew it, but you weren’t speaking. “Say it.”

“Are we… are we an us?” You were still too scared to use the words you truly wanted, you opted for being as vaguely specific or specifically vague as possible, “Am I… Am I- your- person.”

He looked at your eyes that were below his head, “I think you have been. All this time.” You noticed his lips twitching into a smile, but trying to keep them down, to keep them neutral. It’s hard, you make him happy even when he doesn’t want to show it. Even though it’s hard for him to show it to other people. Even though he’s terrified of how vulnerable you make him.

“I just don’t want to have to guess.”

“Well then you don’t gotta anymore… I’ll make sure you don’t have to. We’re together,” he shrugs, “We’ve always been.”

He kisses you now, fully this time, holding your cheek as he does so. It’s the light and soft way, but also the deep way; it was both the ‘anywhere’ and ‘any way you want’ way. You hold his face in return, accepting his words, accepting it all. If anyone else where to come out they would see that truly your lips weren’t the ones in action, but your two hearts drumming into each other, wordlessly saying everything: I’m yours and you’re mine. It’s always been like this.

that unconfirmed possible voyager!rick(???) surprise SHAWTYY jfdjfj anyway, thank you for reading!!!!! ♡ ♡ ♡

[posallys]

ok 1 ur desktop theme is GORG and 2 i need (if u wanna) ur thoughts about the show (or show sally in gen bc ur the only one i trust with her)

thank you!! i was actually thinking about updating it but maybe i wont 🤭🤭 and i have a lot of thoughts about the show except none only very few of them are good and i will be crucified by the 13-year-olds

im going to tell you anyway.

i will start with something i like....percy being angry. like yes give me the anger of a 12 year old who feels utterly alone in the world and doesn't understand (or does and it makes him more angry)

the fight scenes are dog shit. the only kind of cool one was in the arch but it was only cool because of percy doing the bait and switch and falling through the arch...the fights are bland boring sucky whatever other synonym you wanna use

uhhhhh sally jackson is not and would never be sitting in the rain pining of the god she told to leave....and especially not to teen pop...if she WERE going to act like a 16 year old and do the pining thing it would be to fucking like...billy joel and ricky martin and donny hathaway and stuff llike that okay...

i will preface this by saying that yes i understand that talking back to an abuser the way sally does in ep 1 doesn't make the abuse less abusive....however i DO not like the fact that that scene explicitly goes against sally characterization in the books....i am not digging my book out atm but the part where percy is like "my mother has never raised her voice or said an unkind word to anyone"....me thinks the writers all read the books 10 years ago and are going off of memory alone + or their brains are so clouded by the obsessive Big Screen Need to make women a badass girlboss slay queen i fucking hate it here

LET ANNABETH BE SILLY AND FUNNY AND CUTE AND CRY AND NOT BE AN ADULT THANK YOU....hated that they made annabeth the one to realize that it was medusa and not grover...give me back grover having to wrangle percy and annabeth into backpack leashes just to keep them on task/stop them from wandering off...book trio i miss you

i absolutely ADORE leah, walker, and aryan though the three of them are so so perfect, A+ casting no notes couldn't have done it better myself. if it weren't for the three of them i would have zero hope for the show i cannot lie...they're carrying. without them it's just..bad.

the pacing???? bad.

why did we waste half of the 4th ep on the train with echidna...stupid dumb pointless i hate it here

i do like the whole not all monsters are monsters and the gods aren't inherently good just because they're gods thing they've got going on though...very inch resting...silently hoping that they do a complete 180 and have percy side with luke and redo the series from there because that would be iconic as fuck <3 a girl can dream because at least then i could take the show at face value and not take 80 health damage every time they mess up a key part of the books...im at -29834 heath rn.

where was the time at chb before the quest??? the oh so important vital scene where luke teaches percy to sword fight???? like BRO that's soooooooooooo important to ME how could you get rid of that

not having annabeth show percy around camp

additionally, not having annabeth feed him the nectar and ambrosia, WHICH BY THE WAY they haven't even mentioned in the show yet...plot armor gone rip

not the fredrick chase sympathy while simultaniously blaming the woman...........rick when i get my hands on you...

annabeth having to EARN thalia's love??? absolutely not probably one of their biggest fuck ups fr.

the scene where sally is talking about Poseidon to percy...i do not like it sam i am. bad. not wistful enough not longing enough not sad enough not gut wrenching enough...also not completely here for sally telling percy that his dad was a god because....sallys whole thing was NOT telling him in order to keep him safe...i know they changed it in the show so sally knew he was going to camp immediately but that does not mean i have to like it

the scene with sally and percy in the pool. i hated everything about that. sally would never talk to percy like that never talk to him about money never make it seem embarassing NOT TO MENTION that percy simply wasn't scared of the water. that's stupid as fuck. theres a part in the book where percy literally says being by the water calms both him and his mom like...come the fuck on just admit you can't fucking read or at least didn't read the book.

sally annabeth get behind me so they cant hurt you anymore

i did loveeeee percy praying to sally though...absoutely insane and true of them. also the "I AM SALLY JACKSON'S SON" yesss baby you tell them about your mommy!!!!!!

them making athena moa level bad in tlt is quite interesting. setting up annabeth siding with percy pretty well.

also the whole impertinence thing over medusa's head was weird to me. when annabeth first said that i had immediately thought that annabeth's impertinence was telling percy to pray to poseidon IN ATHENA'S TEMPLE bc that made much more sense to me...but whatever

the annabeth/medusa parallel is intriguing at the very least

the underwater scene with the neraid was cool even though i hated the parallel to the pool scene w/ sally.

the dumbass pinecone fate line. 0/10 did you read the book? did you pay attention to how empathetic and reflective percy was when he found out about thalia?

honestly....i think disney was just the wrong place to go with this show because it's like what...pg? it should be pg 13 and should have more... sustenance.

this medusa was so cool though. which we could've seen a fight.

i need to know how many women are in the writer's room though...because It Does Not Look Good. funny how the characters that they're fucking up are all women....crazy. weird. totally coincidental.

are we just not going to talk about the vitality and pressure of getting the bolt back on time? where is the inherent inevitable danger, the suspense, the fear of not accomplishing a seemingly impossible talk looming over everything

this is 10000% not all of my thoughts but im not going to rewatch in order to collect them all so this is what you get xoxox

[astarionancuninswife]

symphony (bard!tav x astarion)

My first official fic for BG3 and this was a fun one to start with!! The song that came on shuffle was Cody Fry's I Hear A Symphony - Live From Ocean Way Nashville. The first thing I thought of was a bard playing it, so that's what I went for. Kinda short, but a little drabble never hurt anyone.

Like I said, this is my first BG3 fic and therefore my first Astarion fic. I've privately written him recently, but this is my first public release of my interpretation of him, so I'm sure there's some discrepancies in his characterization. That being said, I'm always open to hearing constructive criticism, just be gentle with me.

Please enjoy!

word count: 840

warnings: N/A unless sweet sweet fluff is something you're wishing to avoid... or if you don't like real life songs being used in fantasy settings lol

ao3 | guidelines for requests | masterlist

It was just like any other night at the camp, a strange mix of people forced into companionship by unlikely circumstances minding their own business. Shadowheart sitting in thought at her tent, Wyll making conversation with Karlach about their adventures of the day, and so on. Tav is sure the others are doing interesting things as well to wind down for the night, but she isn't too concerned about them. Instead, she sits by the fire, pretending to simply be staring off into space as she strums her lyre idly, but in truth, she's watching a certain vampire across the way. He's reading a book like he often does. She's not sure of what the contents are, she's not interested in it anyway. 

She stops her hand for a moment and starts thinking of the song she had composed a few nights before and just hadn't been brave enough to share until now. It was rare for the bard to be nervous; her pieces usually were just silly little ditties made up on the spot about something funny that happened while out with a small party of her companions. Those didn't warrant a fear of criticism. 

This, however, was different, it's fully written and memorized. It's special, it's a song with a specific muse. And she's not quite sure how this muse will react when he hears this pseudo-confession.

After some thought, she softly begins to sing with her eyes closed, "I used to hear a simple song, that was until you came along," she takes a breath to steady her shaky voice, "Now in its place is something new, I hear it when I look at you," she finally opens her eyes with the last word, immediately meeting Astarion's through the flames of the fire. She can't quite read his face, but when can she ever? He's pretty good at keeping his thoughts tucked away from any detection when he wants unless she uses the tadpole connection to enter his mind. She would never though; she understands the need for privacy and consent with everyone, but especially with him.

So, instead, she begins strumming her lyre and continues her song:

With simple songs, I wanted more, Perfection is so quick to bore, You are more beautiful by far, Our flaws are who we really are,

It was then she saw recognition on his face, a smile threatening to grace his lips. He was holding back, but she was fine with that. The corner of her lips become upturned as well, she's more than happy to smile for the both of them at the moment. She stands up, finding her usual confidence again at his acknowledgment. And all at once, in her mind and in this moment, it is just her and him alone in the camp. No one else exists to her.

I used to hear a simple song, That was until you came along. You took my broken melody, And now I hear a symphony.

She does a few vocalizations to fill the gap between the last stanza and the outro, all the while never taking her eyes off the pale elf who has given up on keeping his lips from forming a smile on his face. 

And now I hear a symphony.

She strums a few more notes before ending the song, standing there by the fire with a stupid lovesick grin. She watches as he walks over to her while clapping a few times, "What a beautiful melody," he compliments, "I wonder who could have inspired such a poem."

Tav laughs at his theatrics, rolling her eyes as her cheeks heat up, "A mystery," if he was going to tease her, she'd play the game as well.

"Well, whoever they are, they must certainly be quite special to you."

"He is," she says, her voice filled with nothing but honesty, "I hope I'm even a fraction as special to him…" she trails off, looking at him softly before becoming self-conscious of her implications and looking away.

Astarion is quiet; it takes him a moment to realize how vulnerable she's being in the moment, how honest and open. A soft smile takes form on his lips again before leaning to kiss her forehead, "More than just a fraction, darling, much more," he says gently, just loud enough for her to hear.

After a few seconds of blissfully staring at each other in silence, clapping can be heard from another spot in the camp, followed by Shadowheart quietly scolding Karlach for ruining the bard and rogue's sweet moment. Which is then followed by the others all figuring out who won the bet of how long it would take for one of the two to confess having actual feelings for one another and who would be the one to make the first real move. (Lae'zel won both, plus a bonus prediction of how Tav would confess, though it wasn't much of a surprise considering she carried an instrument around like it's a necessity in life she can't live without.)

[aroaceleovaldez]

comp of your favorite jason panels maybe?? or maybe an octavian doodle?? i was hit with the silly beam and now i need more blonde roman boys content. mayhaps add any other blonde romans boys you have crafted. i desperately need rick to flesh out camp jupiter the potential is insane - @argoii-official's mod erratum 🤭

MOD ERRATUM!!!!!!! i blow a little kiss to your askblog one mun to another. Tumblr decided it absolutely hated me putting images on this post so I will make a separate one for the favorite deadangelos Jason panels later. A little tiny Octavian for you though (he's grumpy):

and i will dig through my romans to see if there's any other interesting blond boys in there (i still have like two and a half cohorts to design plus messengers and medics, so there is still plenty of opportunity). let's see... oh yes I do indeed have some funky lil blond boys.

Lore for them below the cut:

okay, starting with the canon boys: Jacob i've made a son of Venus and i've decided is best friends with Terrel and Bobby. He's a shy and quiet kind of guy but he's doing his best. Also insert my hc about 5th cohort being more likely to be direct descendants versus legacies here (cause something something lack of letters of recommendation). Also because of a mistranslation about his job title my group chat has decided his demigod weapon is a gun. Julius i made a legacy of Indiges (deified Aeneas) based on his name. I haven't decided too much for him other than I think it would be interesting if Jason used to have a crush on him at some point.

VES okay Ves is fun. So first things first: scene kid my beloved. Scene kid with a bee theme. The joke is the hair stripes. His lore is that he's a legacy of Mellona (goddess of honey/bees) and he has a big ol' crush on Gerard, because Gerard is emo and they have similar music tastes.

Gerard i am going to be completely honest is 100% themed on MCR. I like listening to music when I design characters and I thought it'd be funny also i realized the name Gerard works thematically for a Mars kid. It all came together. Anyways he's emo, he's an MCR fan, no he does not know Ves has a big ol' crush on him. Ves is dying, squirtle.

Edgar is a son of Lua, a goddess to whom weapon spoils of war were sacrificed to. He's just kind of a cool edgy guy. Not pictured is his bestie, a girl named Felicity Pace, who is a legacy of Abundantia and Pax, and is also in 4th cohort. They're opposites-attract thematically (war vs peace, low energy vs high energy) but also they're both fashionistas and extremely dramatic.

Anton is my extremely self-indulgent pointing at Mars and how to the Romans he was also a god of civilization and ideal Roman life, which included him being an agricultural god, so legacy of Mars and child of Ceres. He's grumpy but he's very passionate about plants.

They're all mostly just meant to be background characters fleshing out Camp Jupiter for Deadangelos so they don't have a ton of meat to them, but I like to try and give them all at least something. At the very least a hobby, theme, interest, or relationships. Something along those lines.

[scoobydoodean]

links to all the crit dramas? plz? pretty pretty plz? with plzes on top?

Bestie that is a BIG ask and I did not keep up with all the links for all of these (nor would it be feasible to link all of the wank that happened in some cases, and I think in other cases, it would be poor form). But here’s a rundown in (to the best of my memory) chronological order.

Poor wet cat failed pacifists Cas

I think this one may have more context than I know—it's a fairly common motif anyway and has been for years. But the disk horse was reignited at some point because Courtney Queermania said that Dean is, in fact, willing to be inconvenienced by Cas. This did not sit well with anti-dean destiels, who went on the post to tell Courtney they are wrong about everything because *looks at notes* Cas was dedicated to pacifism and Dean forced him to be an evil killer or some other made up nonsense. Dean also forced Cas to fall from heaven and poor bumbling billion year old baby Cas can't even take a shit without Dean's say so, so everything is always Dean's fault and he can't even be grateful and is mean and evil and probably abusive too etc etc. Funny stuff from people who ship Dean and Cas. Btw. Elements of this camp had been sending Courtney hate mail for months before this for daring to post a poll featuring canonical events that occur in the actual show.

Deangirl Uquiz

In April, I made a 50-question True/False uquiz called "How sus do you look to a deanfan (me)?" and said you were sus if you got anything less than like an 80 or something. It was supposed to be a silly, tongue-in-cheek shitpost. I did most of my fandom interaction over on @i-make-fun-of-spn-characters at the time, but intentionally did NOT post this uquiz over there (to a much larger audience) because the uquiz I'd made was meant for a small group of like-minded mutuals and followers who would actually understand the context and find it amusing.

Well. It ended up spreading.

Deancrits got ahold of it and were very very mad that I dared to say things like, "Dean is not largely responsible for Sam and Cas's issues" and "People should have laughed at Dean's jokes more" and "Sam and Cas didn't actually deserve Dean's trust in season 4/6 because they were gaslight gatekeep girlbossing and could not be trusted". They grabbed my uquiz to use like a fleshlight, then discarded it on the ground and cried that it was too big around to suit their tiny wieners.

Deancrits drove their followers to brigade my post and my page. I received hate mail. People spewed venom at me directly. Worst of all, someone I don't give a damn about told me I am not funny. :(((( People pushed and made uquizes to "combat" mine. I spawned countless vagues all over spnblr--some supportive, some spewing venom about deanfans violent hatred (???) for Sam and Cas. Whole mutualships were lost between people I didn't even know over this uquiz. It was nuts out there.

I sexily evaded deancrits with my sexy ways while they chased me through the town square, trying to wrestle me into a hair shirt. I edited the uquiz with some more snark since deancrits made it all about them anyway, and changed my icon to flaming Elmo and probably changed my header to say "@ Deancrits Suck my Ass" or something I don't remember. I think I became genuinely angry at one point for about 5 minutes. After that, I remembered a deancrit casgirl took my 50 question uquiz several times in a row, shitting out their insides with rage the entire time, then posted the screenshot of their 0% to all of their followers like the trophy head of some vanquished beast, letting out a warrior howl of victory. To this day, I could not tell you why they thought this would stick it to me. However, this was so incredibly funny that to this day I still risk pissing myself laughing when I think about it. To get that 0, they also had to call Dean their poor little meow meow btw.

Vegan Sam

Every few years deancrit samgirls start this really funny disk horse about how Dean is an evil food tamperer who doesn’t respect that Sam is a vegan. This, of course, is also a violation of Sam's bodily autonomy (see section below). Victoria Angelsdean dared to make an original post stating that Sam is not, in fact, a vegan and never ever has been one. This made vegan Sam truthers really mad, and it was really funny.

Later on, because Courtney Queermania had been receiving a continuous stream of hate mail from deancrits since February, I had lodged a threat (blackmail) to make a second uquiz of evil and villainy in retaliation should any more hate mail be sent to Courtney. During the "Sam’s Super Special Most Violated Autonomy Stolen Valor" disk horse, I made good on this threat, and featured a question about whether or not Sam is a vegan, which made them mad yet again.

Also this post was fun.

Jesus!Sam

Back in April, tumblr user christ-figure-bracket took it upon themselves to create a poll tournament to determine the ultimate christ figure in fiction. Samgirls have long enjoyed paralleling Sam with Jesus, and nominated him for the tournament. In the first round, Sam was put up against Aslan from The Chronicles of Narnia—literal lion Jesus. Samgirls were determined to bring Sam victory. Much of SPNblr endeavored to assist because it would be funny if Sam won. I was a stick in the mud about it, and gave this as my reasoning:

#i’m sorry I know Sam beating Aslan would be funny but I can’t stand the sam = jesus take #worst thing sam girls ever came up with #and that’s a large hurdle to clear #not even because i have a problem with people wanting to read into things and explore symbolism #it’s because some of them get gigantic heads about it and then act like they’re being persecuted for their beliefs

Lo and behold—they proceeded to prove me right.

Very early on, some samgirls started telling people who voted against Sam to kill themselves, and complaining openly by name about fellow samgirls who didn't support their plight. However, the real trouble started when christ-figure-bracket made it clear in a humorous manner that they would prefer not to have wincest shippers in their notes. Enraged, angry wincest shippers began sending christ-figure-bracket hate mail, and adding wincest fic and art to their posts and sending it in DMs, and saying they were being persecuted for their beliefs. christ-figure-bracket could barely block them fast enough. Samgirls cleverly recollected—from a few hours before—that Sam had been placed against literal lion Jesus in the very first round. This and the wincest shipper blocking clearly implied christ-figure-bracket's barely-concealed hatred for samgirls. They were no impartial moderator—no! They intended to skew the poll to destroy Sam!

Anyway, christ-figure-bracket removed Sam from the entire tournament as a punishment. Sonic the Hedgehog ended up winning the whole thing, btw. Also I thought it was funny that Sam got kicked out so I said so in some tags. I got some absolutely batshit mail about my "unfandom behavior" and how I place myself as some "sane anti bully saint" and then the person pinned a vaguepost on their page about me choosing who to bully and who to baby for like a month.

Jesus!Sam disk horse returned for a part 2 when Courtney Queermania said something like, "Making a t-shape with your arms should be called 'Sammying'" and got this shit in their inbox:

Dean winning the best tits poll

People got really mad that Sam didn't win this. There was also a lot of arguing about "tits" versus "pecs" and whether Sam has good tits or good pecs.

Sam’s Super Special Most Violated Autonomy Stolen Valor

One day, Courtney Queermania dared to say on their own blog, that they were considering whether Sam’s autonomy actually gets violated anymore than anyone else’s, and weren't sure that it does.

This suggestion resulted in a firehose of anonymous hate mail on Courtney's blog, about what a terrible evil person Courtney is for daring to think this, about how Sam is the specialist most autonomy-less adult baby ever to exist, and how deangirls daring to possibly deny this truth or suggest anyone else ever experienced a violation of their autonomy is a violation of samgirls bodily autonomy in of itself.

To be clear, NOT ONCE did any of us go on any samgirl's page to interact with ANY of them in any negative way. And yet, samgirls fully treated all of us as absolutely evil horrible insensitive people who were actually harming them irl by posting things on our own blogs. While their friends spewed absolutely vile hate messages at Courtney, samgirl blogs were making posts about OUR cruelty and how any of us daring to find humor within the onslaught was deeply evil and insensitive toward them. It was literally argued that Samgirls themselves are all super special victims of abuse who all of us (who clearly have never been through anything bad ever) were being insensitive toward. So of course that mode of thinking within the samgirl community encouraged the hate bombing to continue as some justified form of "retaliation" against our cruelty.

Genuinely I think the hate mail on this went on for like 1-2 months. Some really really ugly vile shit was sent mixed in with some really funny shit. Questions were pondered such as, "Wait a minute—how is everyone defining autonomy???" "Is a demon tricking Sam a violation of Sam's autonomy?"" "Do Deangirls just want to give all of Sam's Super Special Traumas to Dean, who has never been through anything, ever?" "How many incidents can PK come up with where Sam violated Dean's autonomy within 3 minutes?" I posted the aforementioned blackmail uquiz, and Courtney gave all of us this incredible baby Sam image that shall live on in infamy (and haunt all of our dreams).

Psychic!Dean or: Sam's stolen valor part 2

I believe it all started when Laura ilarual made a post talking about a funny headcanon they came up with in a discord server, wherein Dean managing to predict the future fairly frequently is actually a display of latent psychic abilities Dean isn't aware he has. Courtney Queermania also joked about it, which is a crime punishable by death, because Courtney (a completely normal, nice person) is actually the devil incarnate according to a variety of hate anons who have targeted them nonstop since February 2023 for literally no fucking reason.

This resulted in this hate mail, and also blended with the general autonomy disk horse that was still going on in Courtney's inbox at the time.

I think what was funny to everyone about Psychic!Dean was how spitting mad it made people for absolutely no reason other than it was somehow perceived as "stolen valor" by samgirls. I started shitposting after that about how Dean can sense hidden rooms. Psychic!Dean has become one of my favorite headcanons since—we're all rather fond of it now.

Gun Safety: A Commentary on pillows and black store clerks

This is two different diskhorses in a trenchcoat that happened with deancrit destiels/casgirls. Once again—me and my friends never went on anyone's page to interact with anyone in a negative way.

This disk horse had two related flavors: is Dean bad and evil and the devil incarnate for 1) sleeping with a gun under his pillow and/or 2) Shooting Jack in the back to get his attention and keep him from strangling a black store clerk to death? Also, are either or both of these things abusive because of... the lack of gun safety?

I suppose you can guess what side deancrit casgirls landed on regarding both of these issues. It was suggested that the sheer possibility that Dean might hurt poor white baby Jack's feefees should trump the life of the innocent black store clerk he was strangling to death in a rage. Naturally.

Regarding the former vein of discourse: Someone got really really mad at Victoria angelsdean and me for making posts on our own blogs that didn't frame Dean as the source of all evil in the world for having a gun under his pillow, and started going through our blogs reblogging things and being an insufferably condescending asshat in tags with a very transparent goal. Among their complaints, were that "The Prisoner" is an incidence of "domestic violence" against Cas, and that Cas shoving his hand into a child's chest to feel for his soul causing him excruciating pain is perfectly fine, but Dean sleeping with a gun under his pillow is *looks at notes* abusive to Jack. Also they thought it was very important to remind all of us that their dad was in the army for some reason.

I was completely unable to take any of this seriously. If you haven't been on my page long, you might not be very familiar with my potty mouth, but it's important here. I've been here a long enough time that I've seen countless kind people get hate bombed by ugly disgusting assholes in this fandom, and this year I simply had enough. Somewhere around the 20th time I saw fellow deangirls get absolutely vile messages from deancrits or obnoxiously condescending reblogs full of nonsense in the year of our lord 2023, I started endeavoring to embarrass them. One way I did this was by equating deancrits who come onto deangirls blogs to police their posts and act like insufferable condescending assholes... with a dude who walks into a men's locker room and immediately whips his dick out. Everyone else is clothed, but this one dude starts running around naked, showing everyone his cock and going "LOOK HOW BIG MY COCK IS. SUCK ON IT" and not only is he being annoying and weird and harassing people—his dick is actually tiny. Basically I began saying, "Stop whipping your dick out on everybody else's blogs, acting like your cock is big and huge and bulging and I need to get down on my knees and suck it. No one is going to suck you tiny cock just because you decided to whip it out."

I used this metaphor with the person who was being a condescending ass on my blog. I promptly got accused of making "violent sexual threats" by one of their friends, and then another one showed up to tell me, "If internet cancellation were real, you would be so cancelled for this." I changed my header to say, “Cancelled by Ligma Balls” and blocked like 6 people and my blog has been blessedly free of deancrit casgirls throwing tantrums and trying to hit me with their babyhands since.

[frecklystars]

Also tysm to the people who sent nice messages regarding my new F/O I haven’t named yet (I’m just worried about jinxing my ship with him since he’s very very different from the other characters I normally ship with, and idk if I want to keep him on the F/O list or if I need him to be some completely separate category). at some point I might post self ship art if my feelings remain steady hehe. just silly stuff. I like making him uncharacteristically flustered and nervous…

I think it’s funny some of you are trying to guess who it is, nobody has guessed correctly yet but you’re giving me ideas. hi camp counselor Jason I’m looking directly at you. Too bad I can’t handle horror movies at all 😂

Anyway. The deleted scene I vented about yesterday. I feel a lot calmer today; that scene canonically didn’t happen, since it was deleted, and even the director said “yeah, this scene was too cruel even for him, so we cut it”. Seeing it shook me up very badly, but I know My Version of [redacted] would never do such things anyways. I rewatched the ending scenes for his source material, I watched funny videos/memes about him, his canon stuff is absolutely nothing like the deleted scenes and I feel better knowing that.

And I suppose when I self ship with him, he’s very different anyways, regardless of what is on screen. He falls in love with me before he can commit half of his crimes. I can be the first meaningful human connection he ever has. I can save him from his own stupidity. I have never genuinely had the “I can fix him” mentality about any villain F/O until I started shipping with this guy. Rolling up my sleeves. I can fix him. I AM fixing him.

And in turn he’s helping me feel a little bit better about practicing self love without conditions: if I can genuinely believe someone as scary as this dude would love me unconditionally, then maybe one day I can ship with TF characters again ;w;

[sushisocks]

Do you have any Sean x Lenny headcanons? I’m so desperate for more of their content, lol.

DO I HAVE SEAN X LENNY HEADCANONS?!??! Dear anon I could talk about macsummers FOREVEEERRRR!!!! We are truly STARVED for content about them but yes yes let me share some THOUGHTS I have lolol (sorry for the late reply, this week has been kicking my ass aklsdjf)

Okay see I think MacSummers have such good potential to be real 'one fell first, the other fell harder', in that sense of the second person falling suddenly having to catch up on all the feelings, yknow? And it works EITHER way, which I LOVE abt them, so let's talk about what their crushes would look like njbhnjbhmk

Lenny's first to fall:

Lenny ABSOLUTELY has a crush foreveeerrr, pining HARD because he can't bring himself to make a move. Half of that is also reckoning with the fact that he HAS a crush, and on Sean of all people.

Sean is an oblivious idiot; a bi king so busy with the thrill of the chase he doesn't realize what's right in front of him at first, and also, in his mind the possibility of Lenny being interested in him is so small it barely connects.

It's a mess; people DEFINITELY start noticing - it's Lenny's first time having feelings as intense as these about someone and he is NOT as subtle as he'd like to believe he is.

Truly painful for anyone to witness; no, Lenny, that joke was not that funny, stop staring wistfully across the camp like that, everyone knows you're just sitting at the campfire because Sean is there, your book is upside down.

The girls swing back and forth between gently teasing him about it or trying to cheer him up after witnessing some horrendous attempt at flirting from Sean with one of them - they're all rolling their eyes at him for it.

Jenny is def the one who notices first, and the one Lenny goes to for advice. She does NOT give him good advice. Thankfully Lenny is smart enough to realize as much when she tells him to take Sean fishing during a moonlit night, like that's 1) romantic in any sense of the word or 2) something normal for them to do.

Hosea also catches on but it just makes him more grumpy when dealing with Sean, very fatherly 'youre not good enough for my child' vibes off him. Sean still has 0 clue, but now sometimes he catches Hosea giving him the deathstare, and there's a high chance that every time Hosea sees Sean even look in Lenny's direction, he's considering pulling his gun on him.

Tilly is the most sympathetic to Lenny out of the whole lot, when she's not laughing at him. Tbf they're all laughing at him.

The 'Let me teach you how to read!' thing is very much an excuse just to hang out with Sean more. Mind you Lenny is very serious in his effort to teach Sean, he definitely thinks Sean deserves someone making the effort for him, but he's very internally giddy about 'hihi spending time with crush!!' And he probably does have to go debrief with Jenny and Tilly about it.

He only FINALLY gets the nerve to make a move at the end of a long night of drinking. Liquid courage has Lenny grabbing a loud and laughing Sean by the wrist after he says or does something that makes Lenny want to vomit his heart out, dragging Sean out of camp past the treeline, and kissing him square on the mouth, if only for his sanity. Sean, once the shock passes, goes, verbatim "oh. OH! well, ya couldve told me earlier!" before proceeding to snog Lenny senseless <3

Sean's first to fall:

It takes a minute for Sean to actually realize he has a crush, but then Lenny looks at him in a certain way, smiling and gazing at him with those shrewd eyes of his, shining in the light of the campfire, and Sean feels like he's been struck by fucking lightning.

Who has eyes like that anyway?? Sean will not be able to stop thinking about them, ever, now.

He's upping the ante on silly goofy behavior by 11, just to make Lenny smile. Even better if he laughs!!

He agrees to be tutored in reading just to spend time with Lenny and promptly spends all that time vacillating between doing his utmost to distract Lenny away from the lesson with jokes or trying very hard to listen to him just to get lost in his eyes. Lenny doesn't really mind but they get nothing done.

Sean has a fucking army on his ass in seconds; Arthur, John, Tilly, Mary-Beth, and Karen all seem to know out of NOWHERE and Sean has to sit through a fucking impromptu roast while wondering if all his closest friends are fucking mind-readers.

It's funny to them all at first but there IS some sympathy for poor Sean. Doesn't stop them from teasing him mercilessly.

Those that know him, know he's fucked when he switches the 'I love ya!' to 'Ya love me!' with Lenny. It's harder to say to the people he has actual persistent non-platonic feelings for, and almost self-soothing to instead say the reverse as a substitute.

Thing is; if Lenny having a crush is unsubtle, Sean is a fucking bull in a china-shop by comparison. Lenny sure as hell has his suspicions from very early on.

IT DOESN'T HELP THAT WHEN SEAN GETS DRUNK HE'S FLIRTING WITH LENNY IN THE EXACT SAME WAY HE DOES WITH THE GIRLS.

Lenny is very good-humored about the whole thing but it comparatively to when Lenny's the one with the crush, it sure as hell doesn't take very long from Sean realizing his crush to Lenny also realizing Sean's crush.

It helps Lenny getting over his own nerves, if nothing else.

Everyone in camp knows by the time Lenny decides to end Sean's suffering. They walk down to the river near camp, find a spot which is a bit more secluded, and Lenny very gently cups Sean's face, tells him to stop him if he doesn't want this, and kisses him. Sean is grinning like the cat who got the cream afterwards, and Lenny v fondly calls him a fool.

There's like several relieved sighs when they return to camp holding hands. Like Sean isn't gonna be way more of a menace WITH a boyfriend than he is without.

Here's some general headcanons too, bcz I LOVE thinking and talking abt this ship lmfaoo

They're both very talkative - very much the types to stay up all night talking, discussing their thoughts and feelings, camp gossip, their childhoods, the most fucked up death they saw besides their dads', their favorite colors, etc etc. They've had SEVERAL items thrown at them for waking up their fellow gangmembers in the dead of night.

Lenny reads as very acts of service-y to me. Throwing a blanket over Sean when he's knocked out, bringing him food or snacks when he's on guard shift, teaching him how to read, etc etc.

Meanwhile Sean is very touchy; he likes the reassurance of Lenny's physical presence, and it can be as small as just feeling the press of their thighs while sitting next to each other, but they're not exactly strangers to other things like hugging or holding hands.

In that vein it's not uncommon to find Lenny like, doing his own thing, reading or writing, with Sean amusing himself by tracing the lines in Lenny's free hand, or dozing against his back or something.

They have that honeymoon period where you can't find one without the other and they're hard to separate for anything. Sean complains if they're set to different tasks during a job. They manage to be regular about it eventually, but there's an acclimation period for both them and everyone surrounding them -- baby's first proper relationship, y'know?

They're still prone to joining each other on their guard shifts though, even if just for a little while.

You know that comic that's like "I'm gonna kiss you stupid" "But I'm already so dumb!" "Youre gonna be such an idiot when I'm through with you" That Is Very Them imo lolol

Aaaannddd this is already so long I think I'll stop now before we're here all night kmjnhbjnbh

[lu-twilights-pup]

Eyes 👁️👁️ wide open

Ears 🌾👁️👁️👂 cleared (there is no other ear emote, please run with it)

May I politely request headcanons of Reader flustering Twilight?

I gotcha! This is so rough i am so sorry)

DISCLAIMERS:

Tw fluff, cute, just a good mood, flirting

——-

This is no where near as difficult as you thought it would have been

Despite being hit on, flirted with, and eye by just about 75% of Hyrule, bth his and others, he still is rather easy to flush

Silly little pick up lines adn cheesy jokes wouldnt reallly do to much to him, maybe a bit of blush

He’ll laugh it off with you, flash a smile, find it cute and move on

Later though if he thinks about it agin, the actual flustering embarrassment will hit him a bit harder

Your more likely to outwardsly fluster him with flirting, joking or real

He cannot handle that in anyway shape or form.

The group was discussing Hylia adn goddes of their time, Twilight mentioning that he didnt consider himself to religious like some of the others.

You laughed, he asked you what was funny, you told him it was surprising

After all he was the answer to your prayers

It was over then and there, you had never seen a mad so red int he face before, and the collective laughs and hollers were NOT helping.

He stood no chance in attempting to respond, voice crack after choke after voice crack stumbling out of his mouth.

Whe he does get flustered his doesn’t just go red, he shrinks in on himself.

His ears go down and his eyes get big, like a puppy caught stealing treats.

Another time, you had shared a section of camp with him, it being cold you had opted to sit rather close-which was frying his brain enough already

By the end of the night, you had been wrapped around his side like he was a life size teddy bear.

Hyrule had asked if you were comfortable like that cause the angle loooked weird and you did not hesitate to confirm

He had asked if you were sure, he didnt mind moving

You told him you would pay money you didnt have for your own bed to be as comfortable as he was.

And thus his brain was fried the rest of the way

Dont even get started on the time yo complimented his accent adn he could not speak clearly around you for the next 3 days

Or when you had to split the bill of an item he dropped and broke after you ask him flat out how he was so pretty

And again when he sat staring off into the distance after yo had pat his head and said, jokingly, ‘good boy’ after he had brought something back from a shop you had asked for.

(He wasnt allowed to live that down for weeks)

Even wolfie isnt safe.

You had so easliy sat with the hound and began talking about your day, and spent a good bit of time talking about your admiration for the twilight hero in your lap.

Throughout the entire time that poor dog sat, ears pressed back, face pressed under his paws, afraid the redness he felt would be seen through his furr

[warcats-cat]

*materializes into existence*

Hey, my wonderful moot :D

(if this is a duplicate, ignore it; wifi is picky, so idk if it sent already or nah)

I heard you felt lonely, so I got summoned cause I am your MOOT and I care goddamnit. All the affections for you (/p).

I saw ya like FNAF (specifically Sun & Moon's lines in Help Wanted 2), so: what was your fav lines from the Daycare Jesters? I call them that cause, ya know, the sillies.

Also: I don't remember well, but I think you also like Sanders Sides (correct me if I'm wrong). If ya do, have you seen the newest Asides? If so, I wanna hear about your fav parts. The funnies, the 'lore' (angst) parts, any sort of theories, or even just gushing about your fav pairings or characters.

Infodump about whatever!! I love hearing ya thoughts on things and such <3

Lastly: moths. I fuckin love moths. And tardigrades. And spiders and beetles and- okay, so I just really love bugs and insects.

✨moths✨

Anyway, have a good day and hope this helps the loneliness not be so lonely :D

Hewwo Oatmeal Friend! I love you too 💜💜

I have to say my favorite lines are the new lines for Sun's arts and crafts section because they're straight up hilarious. "I should turn the lights off myself" killed me. Someone please give this robot some Prozac and a teddy bear.

My interest in FNAF Sun/Moon is kinda the fault of Bamsara (who I won't tag because I'm not cool enough to interact with them) who has a fanfic called Solar Lunacy which is *chefs kiss* really fulfills my shameless need for x Reader content 💜 ((seriously if I could find familial TS Patton x Reader content I would print it out and hang it on my wall))

Yes the robojesters are very silly and I have to say I'm seeing the FNAF fandom leaning on the head canon that they may have not originally been child-care robots, but on-stage actors, and we're just given child-care programming later which makes me 👀 I love them being doting kiddo caretakers but also the idea of a dedicated thespian being throwing into a pile of wailing children and told to figure it out is absolutely hilarious to me.

Also yes!! I love me some Sanders Sides!! Love my boys. No one is surprised but Patton's bit with the tinier and tinier boxes absolutely was my favorite part. My parents did that when I was like ten and it started off with this GIANT box and I think there were at least six I had to go through before I found a plush of Snoopy and tickets to go to Camp Snoopy at Knott's Farm (forever salty that it was bought by Nickelodeon). I still have that plushy somewhere in my room 💜 and entire book of pressed pennies from Camp Snoopy.

Anyway I actually genuinely enjoyed the new Asides! I miss so much the original format of videos that were one-off and shorter, the conflict being self-contained and generally light hearted. And the interaction between Logan and Virgil was so adorable 💜

Tell me about moths 👀 I love moths and butterflies and BEES😍 (I'm lame, my favorites are the Lunar moth and the Rosey Maple moth. My fairy-sona's outfit is themed to a crossover of the two, though it was more lunar moth like when I first put it together. It's evolved a lot over the years.) Spiders and I have a love-hate relationship rn; the fuzzy ones make me want to cry (pos) and the spindly ones make me want to cry (neg). There's a colony of tiny spindly ladies living in my basement bathroom that I don't know how they got there and I don't know how they keep reproducing because there are no bugs down there.

I don't know what a tardigrade is .....