#anyways i think my mom thinks that i'm questioning my gender LMAOOO

[stuckinakillingjar]

my mom telling me that my parent's divorce didn't affect my brother and me much, as if those two didn't completely annihilate my view on love and relationships between people in general

[yelenaisace]

ahsjshshs I love fanfic writers, they are providing more service to the LGBTQIA+ community than many countries ~

I'm glad you're okay with yourself too, the feeling of "feeling broken" is the worst thing. Like, we can't do anything about it *puts on sunglasses and pink shaggy coat* I'm a Diva Ace, I can't change that!

Oh, In my case I found myself here on Tumblr!

I don't particularly have any aversion to sex… but I've always had the impression that I and the people around me experienced it differently. When I kept yelling like a fanboy about One Direction and how I loved Louis (😆) I wasn't exactly saying that I wanted to date him or that I had any attraction to him... I loved him differently. Okay, I wrote questionable fics involving him, but I swear I loved him.

I followed all possible tumblrs of my 1D ships and at that time (2015/16) people were talking about their sexuality and gender identity in the descriptions. I saw the word "ace" and I was like, "why did you put that in the description? Why is someone knowing you're the best at, I don't know, basketball or volleyball important?" 👁👄👁

After being stupid for months I finally put my brain into something useful and went researching and in the end I found that "oh my god I'm not broke". My mom wasn't as excited as I was. I told her and she said that I was being weird, that I was too young to think about it, and that in the future I would find someone who would fix me.

Poor thing, she barely knows that I'm evolving as a Digimon, I'm getting more "weird" every day and one day I'll be a stunning peacock 😗

ejwjwjw thanks, you're sweet, when I'm ready you'll see a lot of mine fics around 🥰

my fics stevetony will chase you 👀

"they are providing more service to the LGBTQIA+ community than many countries" IM DYING AT THIS, bc as much as it's sadly true it's also funny af. but yeah!! I totally agree with you, I feel that they really are doing divine work. I feel that I found out so many things about the queer community in general through being in fandoms, which is something I wouldn't be able to bc my country's not very progressive on it :///

AND YESSS, I hope every asexual (and aromantics and/or both) feel the same way or are in the process of getting there, bc that feeling sucks as hell!!

OMG, BRUH I WAS A LOUIS-GIRL TOO!???!!! and yeah actl now that u said it, same!! i read a lot of Louis-centric ships fics (i don't anymore okay SDFGHJHGFDF but i was YOUNG), but back when i was lurking on 1D tumblrs i remember people talking the same way as what you're describing ... when I just wanted to be his friend ded

DFGHJHDSFGH OKAY BUT I CAN SEE WHY U MIGHT THINK THAT WAY, and honestly, that's not as stupid as me thinking "reblogging" and "reposting" is the same thing here on Tumblr ... which is why I lurked on Tumblr for literal years without being active myself ded

oh man I'm sorry your mom feels that way :/// i don't even want to tell my parents bc uhh they're not exactly big on other more "known" sexualities like gay/lesbian etc. sooooo i don't even know where to start on me being asexual bc i feel that they wouldn't understand. and yikes about that comment on someone "fixing" you in the future :///

anyways, it's okay! I feel that I've found a lot of asexuals through fandoms actl and though I don't exactly talk to them ... somehow knowing that they're out there and are obsessed with stevetony too makes it a less isolating experience? idk if you feel the same way, but yeah, as much as I love my friends and everything (they know that I'm ace), they don't always understand what I'm feeling either! which is fine, and I don't begrudge them for that! but yeah, I think being queer can be such an isolating thing when you're not in an environment that embraces them especially! but it's nice to feel that way whenever I'm on Tumblr :''))

SURE, I'd love to be chased by stevetony fics lmaooo

[non-binharry]

Hii! I just wanted to explain my own perspective/story on Harry and gender identity. Now, I'm a cis woman so I don't have any personal experience and can only really imagine the struggles.. so if I offend or am wrong about something please correct me, I am here to learn! Also this will be long so I have to split it in parts, hope it works. Will use the signature 'A' to identify myself (which now sounds ominous haha) this ain't pretty little liars :p but anyway on to the actual point...

i’m gonna put under the cut because it’s longish

I have been in the fandom since 2013. On and off during this time cause of all the drama. Always supported the boys though and always believed in Larry. Now, Harry have always been breaking gender norms in one way or another, even if it was more subtle at the time. I loved this a lot cause I'm firmly against gender roles and that anyone can't 'do something' cause of that. What bothered me was that some people used to say Harry was 'the woman' in the relationship because... /A

... he liked to cook and clean and do chores. Or because of being the bottom/submissive or what else. So it was the focus on that, that bothered me. I'm a woman but I am totally the opposite of the gender-role of 'woman' and that is okay. I wanted Harry to be able to do whatever and dress however but still be him. I felt like it was a great change in the world. So when people used 'she' for Harry it did bother me cause it felt like they took that away. Also when he started dressing /A

... femininely and wearing nailpolish etc. Harry looks gorgeous in anything and that lace dress especially killed me. I did have in the back of my mind that Harry could be questioning and that it went deeper than just representation and what he liked to wear, and I would support him/her/them/ no matter what. I just didn't feel comfortable saying it as fact since I really didn't know and again anyone should be able to look and act how they want to. I simply needed 'more' than that. /A

... Then came Fine Line. And it settled things for me. 'She' was the final piece. The Falling video broke my heart into a million pieces. I then started to go back and look at things in a different light, as far back as the 'painted nails make Harry beautiful' and I did see signs I hadn't before. Now I feel comfortable thinking Harry probably does identify as non-binary or something outside of just cis. I am still learning and while I have known more about transmen and women for a while... /A

... non-binary is very new to me and more complex. Which, people are obviously complex so it makes sense. But I wanted to thank you for explaining things on this blog, it's very interesting and informative! I look forward to learning more! :) Sorry for this long-ass message, just wanted to really explain my view on things. Have a great day and take care

first of all, the pll joke is god tier

i can definitely understand why there would be so much controversy about these remarks because unfortunately they still play into heteronormative ideals. regardless of whether harry is trans or not, ascribing him the role of the woman in a gay relationship because he does things outside of the normal gender roles expected of a man is a toxic attitude (my dad was literally the stay at home parent who cooked and cleaned and took care of us while my mom worked so i don’t play about this) 

all of these things are part of harry as a person, but they’re not inherently tied together and they’re not the same for every person either. he’s not submissive because he’s trans, or he’s not trans because he subverts gender roles. he’s trans and he’s submissive (👀 no one @ me lmao) and he loves to cook for his man. that’s just harry and it’s intrinsic to his own identity.

i’m glad i can help you understand more about non-binary genders. it is complex and there are layers and layers (don’t even get me started on something like being a woman existing as a man performing as a woman lmaooo) to each person and harry has layers too which people shouldn’t dismiss just because they can’t see or understand how it works, or because it’s simpler to look at it in a binary way.

your messages were lovely and i’m grateful that you shared this with me!! i do appreciate the perspective from cis people too, because while i get it and got it, it’s interesting to see how y’all did/do as well. 💗