Tumgik
#anyways someone help me decide if i should post it
radishaur · 13 hours
Text
Second Chance (Un-Ascended Astarion x Reader)
Tumblr media
Warnings: minor spoilers for BG3 (takes place post-game)
Genre: fluff, slight angst, suggestive
Part: 1/1
Summary: A lot has changed since the fight to save Baldur's Gate, Astarion included.
Author’s Note: This fic has minor spoilers for BG3 but I tried to keep it vague enough that you could read it without majorly spoiling it. The "reader" in this situation is Tav from the game, but Tav is practically a self-insert so you get the jist. Not a Durge fic (yet). Also, this is with un-ascended Astarion. I apologize if this is OOC, I have such a hard time pinning down his mannerisms. This has been rotting in my drafts for way too long, so I just decided to hell with it, it needs to get posted. Lastly, I took some liberties with his backstory since it's slightly vague. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. Happy reading!
Tumblr media
The only thing lighting up the barren city roads as you made your way back to your room was the dying flicker of the sparsely placed lamp posts. Not even the moon itself was making an appearance, cloaked behind grey clouds so thick that not even a ray of her light could reach the street below. It was nothing you weren't used to as an adventurer. The job kept you out late by nature since most of the types you were after did their business well after the sun had set.
The dark of night wasn't what sent a shiver down your spine. No, rather it was the unmistakable feeling that someone was watching you. Your time adventuring had taught you to recognize that feeling quite well and there was no mistake: someone was following you. You ducked into the nearest side street to draw them out and readied yourself to attack if necessary.
The feeling of a hand on your shoulder was all you needed to react.
You shifted your weight forward and used the other person's clear surprise to throw them off balance and over your shoulder. They hit the ground with a thud and a groan and you crouched down and brought a knife to their throat before you even had time to register the set of all too familiar red eyes that were looking up at you.
When you finally looked down at who was beneath you, you felt sick. You would recognize that face anywhere, even upside down and in the dark. Hell, you think you would recognize him blind despite all the time that had passed since you'd seen him. He smirked, his fangs peeking out as he tsked.
"That's no way to greet an old friend, my sweet," he teased, still as confident as he ever was, even with a blade to his throat.
"Astarion," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.
"Don't sound so shocked, darling. I told you I would come find you, didn't I?"
You didn't say anything, your thoughts racing a mile a minute. You thought about him quite often, but actually seeing him in person again was enough to send your mind spiraling down memory lane. From when you met, to your victory over the Absolute, to your bittersweet goodbye...
You were snapped back to reality by Astarion's voice once more, slightly softer as he spoke this time as if he saw the thoughts racing behind your eyes.
"Why don't you let me up," he said, despite the fact the grip on your knife had long since loosened, leaving him enough room to push his way up on his own should he have wished.
You swallowed thickly and stood up, stowing your knife back in its place before reaching a hand out for him to help himself up. He was already in the process by the time your hand was offered, but he took it anyway, using it to pull himself up to full height in front of you.
For all the time that had passed, he looked exactly the same. His skin was still milky white, his hair still curled around his pointed ears just so, and his eyes still found a way to look straight through you and into your soul. The faint light of the street lamps made him look ethereal, otherworldly even, as he stood in front of you.
"What are you doing here?" you asked, an air of disbelief in your voice as you regarded him.
"Don't tell me you forgot about our conversation," he said, a slight tease in his voice masking the very obvious concern.
And oh, what a stupid question that was, because how could you ever forget it?
"Hello darling. I was just thinking about freedom. How I'm free of the parasite - free of Cazador. How I'll never be in someone's power again And all it cost was my life in the sun. Now I belong to the shadows," he had said, gesturing his arms out to reference the dark of night around the both of you.
"What are you going to do? What's next?" you had asked.
He paused, thinking for a moment.
"I...I don't know," he admitted, taking a moment of silence to think before saying, "I've never been able to decide for myself."
"Now is as good a time as any to start," you had joked, hoping it would lighten the mood a bit before saying, "Let's celebrate our victory tonight properly. You can tell me what adventure we'll set out on then."
The night carried on, with all of your companions around the fire, telling stories and drinking together, happier than ever and without a care in the world. Later on in the night, the two of you snuck off together, just like you had in the early days of your traveling together. It had filled you with nostalgia and you told him as much as you laid next to him, staring up at the stars.
"We have come quite far together, haven't we," he said, although his voice had sounded miles away.
"What's wrong?" you had asked, shifting so your head was propped up and you were on your side to face him.
He didn't say anything for a long time, simply looking up at the stars with a frown. All you wanted to do was kiss away the wrinkles that furrowed his brows until he would smile once more, but you resisted, letting him have a moment to collect his thoughts.
"When I was Cazador's beloved spawn," he started, spitting out Cazador's name venomously like he always had, "I had no control over myself. I spent 200 years doing whatever he told me and paying the price the few times I didn't."
You nodded. This was obviously nothing new to you, but you also knew he wouldn't be saying it again if it didn't matter, so you stayed silent, encouraging him to continue.
"And then when I was finally free of him and had some level of control, I just reverted back to my instinct. I manipulated you for my own gain. Nothing had changed." he said, frustration evident in his voice as he said, "I don't even remember anything before Cazador. Not a damned thing. Only his stories of what happened."
"That must be difficult," you replied softly.
He didn't say anything to that, but he did finally turn to face you and even without the tadpole's connection you could still feel his emotions so clearly. The inner turmoil was written so plainly on him that you wondered how he had ever seemed like a mystery to you instead of an open book.
"My point is that I have no idea who I really am. I've always been following someone else's orders, someone else's plans. Even here, with all of you," he said, sighing before adding, "I don't know what kind of person I really am, without following the moral compass of everyone around me. I've only ever known orders."
You stayed silent for a few moments before deciding to ask, "Have you decided what you want to do after this? That might be a place to start."
"I want to go to the Underdark first. I can't just let my brothers and sisters wander aimlessly. Then maybe I'll come back here. Try and find clues of what my life looked like before... everything," he answered.
"Then we'll leave tomorrow. After it gets dark," you said with a smile before yawning, the adventures of the day finally catching up on you.
You missed the way his expression broke just slightly as your eyes scrunched up during your yawn. Whatever he had meant to tell you had died on his tongue and he simply kissed you, a little deeper than he ever had before, and let you fall asleep in his arms.
When you had woken up, you were in your tent instead of out in the grass. You had smiled at the image of Astarion carrying you there in the dead of night to tuck you in and made your way to his tent to thank him, only to find it missing. In its place was a small box and a sealed letter with your name scrawled out in a posh-looking cursive.
He had left in the middle of the night. Packed up his tent and left nothing behind except his last parting gift to you. You didn't open the box, still hadn't all these years later. You simply unsealed the letter with shaking hands and read the whole thing 3 times over. He apologized for leaving without saying anything to you but said he needed to learn how to be his own person before he was truly with another. He thanked you for everything you had done for him over your time together before promising to return and find you when he had figured everything out. He said that when he came back, he would be yours in every way you would take him, should you still want him.
He signed the letter with Your love, Astarion and that was the last you heard from him.
Your face soured as it all came rushing back to you in full force. You scowled at him, all your previous excitement that he had returned disappearing much like he had. Old wounds ached as if they were brand new.
"I would hardly call a letter left in the dead of night a conversation," you retorted, snatching the hand that you had forgotten was still holding his back to you.
His lips pulled into a small smile, lifting up at the corner, but his eyes saddened in contrast. You clenched your fists and looked away from him, needing a moment to collect your thoughts.
"No, I suppose you're right," he said, shuffling on his feet slightly before adding, "You have every right to be upset."
Your eyes whipped to him and the dam holding back your anger broke.
"Upset?" you asked, the venom in your voice causing him to startle slightly, "Upset doesn't even begin to cover it, Astarion."
You took a deep breath to steel yourself, to keep yourself from shouting at him in the middle of the dark alleyway.
"You left me in the middle of the night after everything we went through together. You took me to your grave and told me you didn't want to lose what we had and then you left," you said, your throat getting tighter and tighter with each word, "You let me believe I was coming with you and let me make a complete fool of myself. All I had left of you was some letter and a stupid box."
You shifted on your feet slightly as you thought about that exact box, tucked away in your dresser underneath all your clothes. It sat, unopened, atop the letter that had ripped your whole world apart. You looked back up at him, trying to gauge any kind of reaction from him as you said, your voice cracking despite it being no louder than a whisper, "It's been 3 years."
He kept quiet while you composed yourself for what was the third time that night and then took a tentative step forward. When you didn't move back, he took another and then another until he was right in front of you. His left hand went to yours and his right hand cupped your face gently, his expression suspiciously calm but his eyes were a swirling mix of different emotions.
You felt your heart rate accelerate at the proximity and you cursed yourself for still loving him after leaving so long ago without a word. With all your anger released you were left only with the profound longing to be with him, to touch him, kiss him, hold him close. Every detail you had memorized about his face was even more striking in person than you remember and hearing his voice again after so long...
"I know. There's no amount of apologies I could make that would undo that mistake, although I am deeply sorry. I was afraid to be honest with you and it made me a coward," he said, taking a deep breath as he pulled away slightly, letting his hand drop from your face, "You asked me why I'm here and I didn't answer you fully."
You didn't move even a single inch, worried that any movement would scare him away.
"I'm here....," he took another deep breath to steady his nerves before he continued, "I'm here because I love you. I thought about you every day these past 3 years and there's nothing more I want than to be with you. I want to apologize to you for how I handled things and if you do still feel the same way, I want to spend the rest of my immortal life proving that to you."
His eyes were open, bearing everything he was feeling for you to read. You saw his sincerity and his feelings plain as day. Your heart constricted as you thought about your next words.
"I...Astarion...," you stumbled over your words, trying to get your heart and your head to align as they both asked for different things.
"Give me a chance to explain and properly apologize. After that, if you never wish to see me again, then," he paused, trailing off before finishing, "I'll disappear into the night once more for good this time."
You hesitated, taking a moment to let your feelings settle. The swirling mix of anger, despair, and intense longing slowed the longer you looked at him, and left behind was only the feeling of anxious uncertainty.
You saw his eyes searching your face for a sign as the silence continued to drag out, but he didn't say anything. Didn't even make a move, once again letting you decide as he simply waited. You swallowed, thick as it stuck in your throat. This was the same man you knew from so long ago and yet he was so different. His time alone had no doubt changed him, but was that enough?
Before either of you had a chance to say anything more, footsteps echoed out in the street and you heard someone shout, "Hey! Who's there?"
Your eyes snapped from the direction of the voice back to Astarion and you knew that both of you would need to leave immediately if you didn't want to be caught. Regardless of your feelings towards him, you knew that a vampire being caught out at night would lead to nothing good and you didn't want anything bad to happen to him. He seemed to understand that as well as his face morphed into the more guarded expression you were used to seeing.
"If you decide to give me a chance, meet me at the town's overlook tomorrow night at 10 pm," he said, his voice low before he kissed your left hand and then disappeared into the shadows of the alleyway.
You weren't far behind, slipping into the shadows and making your way back to your room. You tossed and turned all night, the anxiety of tomorrow night and your impending decision looming over your conscience until you could finally get some sleep.
Tumblr media
Despite having faced some of the worst horrors that Faerun had to offer, Astarion was pretty sure he had never been so nervous.
He exhaled to try and release some of his anxiety before stepping back to look at the setup he had laid out. He had placed a few thick, woven blankets on the ground to cushion against the hard dirt floor with a fuzzy, fur blanket on top. Off to the side, he put a magic phonograph programmed with the music he had curated for the evening, and right in the middle of the blanket was a tray filled with more fruits and cheeses than one could possibly eat.
He looked out over the cliff and down to the city, illuminated in the soft yellow light of the street lamps now that it was finally nighttime. The moon was peeking out through the clouds and a slight breeze was blowing the hair around his face and the leaves in the trees. For all intents and purposes, he had picked a perfect night.
There was still a good amount of time before you were supposed to arrive, so he simply leaned against the tree that was shading the blanket setup and waited anxiously.
He found himself watching the town below and reminiscing about his time with you. There was no guarantee that you would show up tonight, but there had never been any guarantees in your time together. With everything happening, there was never the promise of even the next day, yet you always came back. Chose him over any others and went out of your way to support him.
He spent more time than he liked to admit wondering if he had made the right decision in leaving. He knew that learning more about himself was something he needed to do, but he missed you more than he had anticipated. He knew that he loved you, but he had underestimated how that would affect him now that he wasn't around you all the time. You followed him like a ghost. He saw you in every face, heard you in every laugh, and taunted him in every kind action he witnessed.
After a while, he could admit that his fear drove him away in a harmful way. Afraid of his love for you and of what potentially dark secrets awaited him in his past, he ran. The more time he spent apart from you, the more he wondered if you had really loved him. The small part of his brain that whispered cruel nothings to him told him that you could never love him, not like he loved you at least. There was a chance that your connection to him was born purely from circumstance. Now, with no parasite connecting you and no shared goal to live, you might not feel the same.
He almost hadn't returned, but his guilt over how he left you and the regret he knew he would feel if he never tried to ask for forgiveness convinced him. Your reaction to seeing him had quelled some of his doubts. Maybe you weren't connected by the tadpole anymore, but your eyes betrayed your feelings just like they always had. There was a swirl of emotions there, battling for dominance, but he knew that somewhere in there amongst that conflict were the remnants of what he had broken. That bond built on love and sacrifice that brought him back from the dark path he was walking on before he met you.
He was brought back from his thoughts by a particularly cold gust of wind. He bit his lip slightly as he tried once more to calm his nerves. There was nothing for him to do but hope that you still loved him enough to try one last time.
Tumblr media
The walk to the lookout was quiet. Fall had finally come after months of intense heat and the light cool breeze rustling your hair and nipping at your face was nice. Other than the sound of rustling leaves and your footsteps on the cobbled path, it was just you and your thoughts.
It would be easy to lie to yourself and insist that you had thought long and hard about whether to meet Astarion, but deep down you already had your answer from the moment he asked. So many years apart and he still had a hold on you.
Eventually, the cobble path turned to dirt and you found yourself hiking up the hill, your heart pumping from more than just the exercise. You were anxious to hear what he had to say but more than that you were worried about the next step. You loved him still, that much was undeniable, but you didn't trust him. That was something that would take a long time to build back up if it was even possible, and you wondered if things could really go back to how they were before.
Finally, you reached the top of the hill and the path flattened out. After walking further down the path, it began to open up and you found yourself breathless at the sight in front of you. Your eyes roamed over the blankets, food, and atmosphere that was laid out underneath the tree, each item placed with care. The breeze was rustling the tree leaves, causing a few leaves to fall here and there down on the blanket. Then, your eyes caught on Astarion. He wasn't facing you, his back towards you as he looked out over the town and you found that even from here he looked beautiful.
His clothes were similar to what he used to wear around camp, but they were made of much finer materials. His shirt was still frilly and the neckline still plunged down, but it seemed to be made of silk and the threads shimmered slightly in the moonlight, and his pants seemed to be a lot thicker material even though they were still black. If you didn't know better you would say that nothing about him had changed, but you knew that wasn't true. His hair which you knew from experience was always tamed was ruffling slightly in the wind.
If you were a painter, the scene in front of you would have been your masterpiece.
After a few moment, he must have felt someone staring because he turned his head slightly to face you. His lips pulled slightly at the corner into a smirk as he spoke.
"Enjoying the view?"
"Perhaps."
Your throat went dry as you looked at him more. His eyes looked you over and you were suddenly reminded that you were severely underdressed compared to him. You hadn't known what to expect, but fancy had not been on the list, so you'd simply worn some of your casual clothes and headed out. Despite that, his gaze still lingered and his smirk melted into a smile. When his eyes met yours, there was a fondness there that made your heartache.
He pushed himself off the tree and walked over to you where your feet were cemented on the dirt. When he was finally standing in front of you, you were relieved to see that he seemed just as nervous as you were. His throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly and reached for your hand. You let him take it, your mind racing too fast to object even if you had wanted to.
"I'm glad you came," he said, pulling your hand up to place a small kiss onto your hand. "I... wasn't sure you would. You'd have every right not to."
"I needed to come. No matter what happens, I... we deserve the closure," you said, your voice quiet but firm.
He nodded, the gesture slightly stiff as the reminder of what tonight could possibly bring hung between the two of you. Still holding your hand, he stepped to the side and gestured with his free hand to the blankets. "Let's catch up and then we can talk."
You gave him your own nod and followed him to the blankets. The closer you got, the more you saw of the view and oh it was lovely. The flickering light of the candles Astarion had laid out around the blanket mixed with the lantern light of the city below, casting everything in a warm glow. It was high enough that you could talk uninterrupted but close enough that the faint noise of the bars and late-nighters could be heard.
Suddenly, you heard music and turned to see that Astarion had started the music machine which was playing some light romantic music. He turned it down so that it didn't overpower your soon-to-be-had conversation and motioned for you to join him on the blankets.
"So," he said as you sat down beside him, "What have you been up to since I've been gone."
Despite how you were still upset with him, your conversation flowed freely. You told him of your job as an adventurer, how you met occasionally with Shadowheart, Halsin, and some of the other members of your group who were still in Bauldur's Gate or nearby, and other stories to fill in the gaps since you had last seen him. In turn, he shared his story with you.
He'd spent the first few months away getting the spawn under control and settled in the Underdark, which had been a task in and of itself. While he was there, he began to adjust once again to life in the shadows. After a while, he set out to do what he originally wanted to do: learn about his past. He knew vaguely about his life before Cazador, just bits and pieces that Cazador had thrown his way when he was "behaving", but now he had a much larger picture.
He had hoped to find his parents alive and well, but unfortunately for him, that was not the case. Cut down not unlike him, his parents were long dead. Whether it was connected to his decision as a magistrate that got him killed was unclear, but it stung all the same. He searched record after record and finally found something that led him to a vacation house not far out of Bauldur's Gate. It was beaten and not well taken care of, but it held more than he could have imagined about his life before Cazador. Pictures, journals, notes, and records stuffed the house and he had combed through them all meticulously. That, combined with the legal records he had been able to get his hands on, painted a clearer picture of who he used to be.
He shared it all with you, promising to take you there and show you some of the pictures himself, should you let him. You talked for hours and barely noticed the hum of the city die down as the night progressed. In all honesty, it was easy to forget why you were here in the first place. The pain and betrayal faded into the background as you talked and you found yourself relaxing more and more. Eventually, he had finished sharing everything and the silence that followed was peaceful.
After hearing him talk, it was clear that he had changed a lot on his journey. The Astarion that once hid between a mask of seduction and good looks was gone, replaced by a man who was much more confident and sure of himself. He was still a flirty, cocky bastard, but he was more genuine. He wasn't afraid anymore. He had gone out into the world and figured out exactly who he used to be and was standing on the other end of it more sure of who he wanted to be in the future. As much as his departure still hurt, you couldn't help but be happy that he seemed so much happier.
The song changing broke you out of your thoughts and you saw Astarion watching you from the corner of your vision. When you turned to meet his gaze, you felt some of the air around you thicken with tension. Astarion must have noticed the shift as well because he stood up and held a hand out for you to take.
"Dance with me," he said, his voice hopeful as he added in a slightly more teasing tone, "I can show off those dance lessons my dear parents paid for."
The reference to his previous story of his upbringing made you laugh and you took his hand as he pulled you up to your feet. "Let's hope they stuck."
He led you to the side of the blankets, close enough to the outlook that you could still see the city and the ocean, but not so close that either of you would fall. He carefully positioned your hands and then his own before moving slowly into a dance. The two of you swayed to the sound of the music, making it easy for you to follow him. Aside from a few fancy moves spinning you around, he mostly just held you close to him. His grip was firm but soft, as if you were something precious to him.
"This reminds me of our first night together," you said, referring to the first night you had spent alone with him.
His mouth quirked up at the comment, clearly amused by the comparison. "I suppose it does."
"It's...," you trailed off, struggling to find the right words to explain it. You met his eyes and settled on, "It's beautiful. Who knew you were such a romantic."
"Only for you, darling."
He held your gaze, his tone devoid of any teasing and it made your heart skip a beat. His thumb rubbed a soothing pattern into your hip as you continued to sway, your eyes never leaving his. He was silent for a long time, neither one of you wanting to break the moment, but eventually, he spoke.
"As much as I'd like to just stay here and enjoy the evening, that wouldn't be fair to you. I owe you a true explanation and an apology."
You stilled slightly, his words reminding you once again why you were here tonight. You nodded at him to indicate that you were ready and continued to dance with him.
"That night, when you were asking me about the future, I began to panic. I told you that night in the graveyard that I wanted something real with you and I meant it, but... I got scared. I kept thinking about how much I never knew about my past and how little I knew about myself now that I was free and it ate away at me. It dawned on me that there was a very real possibility that you would learn the truth about what I was like before Cazador or that being free of the tadpole would change how you saw me and that you would leave. I was terrified of losing you and I let myself slip back into old habits as a result. Hurt them before they can hurt you, and all that."
As he spoke, his eyes clouded over and his grip on you tightened slightly, his stress shining clear as day on his face. You shifted your hand out of his, resting your arms around his neck. He let his other hand grab your waist to match the other and you let yourself play with the hair brushing against the nape of his neck as he continued.
"I'm glad that I left on my own because I needed to learn how to live now that I was free. I have no memories of almost anything before Cazador, so my whole life felt like it was lived being controlled, first by Cazador and then by the Absolute. I loved you and I... I still love you," he said, voice wavering slightly at the admission of his feelings, "But, I needed to learn how to just be. Being in a relationship with you, wasn't like being controlled, but I needed to learn how to be myself. It was something I needed and I'm glad that I can say I know who I am now, but I shouldn't have left the way I did. I should have come to you about it, but I let myself fall back to how I used to act instead."
He stopped dancing then, pulling you closer with one arm and letting the other come up to brush against your throat before cupping your face. The gentleness of his touch made you shiver slightly and his grip on your waist tightened once more.
"I'm sorry, for leaving you in the middle of the night without a word. It will be one of my life's biggest regrets. I thought about you every day that I was gone and I still feel the same about you as the day I left. If you let me, I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I'm yours in every way that you'll take me, should you still want me."
His last line quoting the letter broke the last of your resolve as you leaned into his touch, your eyes watering as you finally spoke.
"You're an asshole. I'm glad that you're happy, but I hate that you told me you loved me and then left in the middle of the night. I hate that you made me wait here for so long without another word from you. I hate that you sauntered so easily back into my life with that stupid, smug smirk. But mostly, I hate that despite all of that I still love you," you said, your voice wavering as tears finally spilled down your face, "I love you just as much as I did before and nothing can change that. Not even you."
You hadn't realized as you were talking just how close to him you had gotten, your hands fisted into his shirt and his hair, but now it was clear as day, even with your eyes clouded by tears. You didn't have time to react before you felt him lean down and slot his lips against yours. His kiss was firm and filled with so much passion and you met him with a fierce determination of your own. Your lips fell into a familiar rhythm, almost as if it hadn't been years since the two of you had done this.
He pulled away slightly, murmuring I love you's against your skin as he kissed his way from your lips to your cheeks, the gentle press of his lips kissing the tears away. It was too much and yet not enough all at once. You clung to him like a lifeline as he met your lips once more, his kiss like a breath of fresh air as you were drowning at sea. You didn't know when he had picked you up and moved you onto the blanket, but suddenly you were on his lap underneath the tree once more.
His touch was like fire, burning everything it touched and you wanted more. You wanted it all and he was more than happy to oblige. The world around the two of you faded into nothing as he gave you everything, skin to skin, heart to burning heart.
Later, as the two of you lay under the stars and blankets pressed up against each other, he pulled a box out from its hiding spot amongst the blankets. You shifted slightly, pulling the blankets with you as he sat up with the box now in hand. It only took a few moments for you to recognize what it was.
"How did you get that?" you asked, confusion evident. "That's been tucked into my dresser for years."
"You wound me, darling. A man of my talents can steal anything with enough time and resources."
You felt a lump grow in your throat as you looked at the box. You would recognize that box anywhere, its image haunting you in your nightmares about that day. You never had the courage to open it after reading the letter Astarion had left and that same trepidation came back in full as it stared back at you now.
"Admittedly, I was hopeful about how tonight would go. I knew there was a chance you hadn't opened it, so I grabbed it from your room before you came back for the day," he explained, the hand next to yours on the ground brushing against it in reassurance.
He repositioned slightly and opened the box. The inside of it was a plush red velvet and nestled right in the middle, a ring. Not a wedding ring or even anything incredibly fancy, but a ring nonetheless. It was polished steel with three small gems embedded in the middle. Their colors danced in the light and you found yourself reaching out to touch it.
"What...," you said, your voice failing you for the millionth time that night.
"Consider it a promise," he supplied, his voice quiet as he plucked the ring out of the box and guided it onto one of your fingers. "I want something real with you. I'm yours for as long as you'll have me."
You had both changed significantly in your time apart. Astarion had broken your trust and it would be a long time before it would fully come back. You knew things could never go back to how they were before, but maybe that was ok. Maybe you both weren't the same people you used to be, but you were both learning, both trying to be better, trying to navigate life after the Absolute, trying to live. Maybe that trust was broken, but that broken bond could come back stronger. There was no doubt in your mind as you kissed him once again, murmuring against his lips.
"Here's to forever, then."
Tumblr media
ღ radishaur — i do not own any of these characters. do not plagiarize. please enjoy and remember to be respectful! 
Tumblr media
36 notes · View notes
silverysnake · 2 years
Text
Ich hab gerade ein etwa 2k langen au oneshot geschrieben und hab keine ahnung wie ich den überhaupt zusammenfassen soll?! i feel like i’ve been possessed for the last two hours and now i’ve returned to clarity
4 notes · View notes
toytulini · 4 months
Text
if you draw enough monster ocs, when you go back to drawing a human character, it feels like "sameface syndrome" everytime, by virtue of their face being. human.
#toy txt post#or maybe i am just sameface syndrome#but also different face syndrome#two characters will have the same face but then the next time i draw those characters its a different face than they had last time!#i know part of it is being out of practice but also there is definitely an element of feeling constrained by human facial structure lmao#the monsters have Their Own Problems but like. no one has a face like bokrae no matter how inconsistent i am about drawing her#her features are iconic enough to her that you can tell everytime#birdie???? i faceclaimed eartha kitt for her and im still struggling cos i feel weird about faceclaiming as a concept#but even then 😭 one time i was trying to give headloose a face and someone was like wow he looks like birdie!#me 😭😭😭😭😭 what!!!!!! hes not supposed to!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i need to practice. features#you know the worst part about coming up w a bunch of fuckin Scenarios in my brain for ocs is that i have even fucking Drawn them yet#to give them like. iconic staple features and figure out what their faces look like. which feels like it would really help to have that#knowledge and muscle memory before i jump into trying to draw intense scenes with difficult poses!!#not to mention. listen. i can do the monster faces. somewhat. the bodies??????????? well for one. theyre too big everytime#im convinced i could be trying to draw bokrae on like a full ass wall size paper like a mural thing and run out of room. it just keeps#happening. i have no sense of scale for them either. by which i mean i struggle w scale already and also cant decide what i want it to be#and ive tried to handwave it away by being like ohhh uh. birdie casts spells on them to change their sizes for convenience but also#no. perhaps that explanation works for other ppl. @ myself tho its not good enough i Know Better!!!!!!#agh!!!!!!! i really need to figure out bokrae's Teeth also. like i dont. i coukd get away with it. but i should. and i want to.#anyway all this to say that i need to give these characters faces and body designs (actually the body designs for humanoid ocs is the easy#part. the faces are whats stumping me? well. i need more practice w all the body types again but like i Know what im Going For at least.#for the most part anyway. havent fully figured out heights. struggling w characters that i want to make short but give imposing tall energy#on occasion? birdie can be short all day long no problem. I want Alasdair to be short enough that he has a bunch of short boyfriends that#feel tall around him? bytte was going to be like 6ft max but then i thought about making her taller and like. what if i made her taller#headloose is not that /short/ but he is Not Tall and prolly pretty lean? twink build for sure#and of course all these short /tall distinctions come with a bias of relativity to my own height which i categorize as medium height#but short ppl call me tall and insist its not average and tall ppl call me short. (5'6) and then i have to factor in how the gender changes#the dynamic of a height like my height is Short For A Man but medium to tall for a Woman. which id argue is medium height bc mens heights#are socially held to high standards (hehe) and also i know ethnicity/race is also a factor? but im out of tags. rip. bye
14 notes · View notes
triglycercule · 6 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i love doodling swapinverse like hello drawing characters aside from the normal mtt is lowkey therapeutic 🧡🧡🧡 anyways i FINALLY FINALLY finished crash's lore!!!! and vice.SER is connected to him,,,, theyre interconnected!!! i forgot how much i liked crash's design (not the design but all the little gimmicks in the design. figuring out all the hanging ribbon bits is annoying but hey it looks good)
#outertale does not exist in swapinverse anymore. how quaint#dude thalia and melpomene are th only ones that r like. 100% good#I NEED TO MAKE MORE GOOD AND NICE CHARACTERS😭😭😭😭#mst..... recreators (qip name 4 siphon n crash?) and vice.SER........ theyre all EVIL (or have evil goals)#i WAS thinking doing something with reaper because i adore his design and aesthetic and i wanna combine it with SOMETHING idk what#anyways if core frisk error which is supposed to be vice.SER exists then should normal core frisk exist too?????#i mean i dont think that just because a core frisk role esque person exists doesnt mean the role is instantly filled up#the mst and mtt co exist in swapinverse but those 3 are like.... NORMAL aus. not outcodss n stuff#i love the giant lance thing i gave crash. i mean the ribbons can form any weapon and take any shape (kinda like puella magi mami's guns)#but like..... it just is so cool i love characters that use multiple weapons#i LOVE (haha) every single little gimmick thing i give swapinverse characters. the tiny details is what i adore giving them#if you catch me not posting 4 a bit its probably just bc im working on swapinverse or jk fashion au. or maybe ive seriously just lost motiva#anyways i have a few banger rants in my drafts ive yet to elaborate om but just like....... i dont feel like it#someon needs to wrangle those posts out of my tired lazy arms#lowkey why do siphon and crash remind me of kanade and mafuyu. idk i cant explain#if you cut vice.ser in half it would be like jelly with binary in it. i wanna eat him#he would tingle on my tongue but thats just the static. eating yhe glasses would be difficult bit they dont have lenses so its ok#i drew them both looking at us but i think that vice.ser is the only true one always looking at US.looking out from inside#god i love swapinverse sooo much i wish i could get it done faster and be goatedly good with motivation. a shame#but i do think that i may be finishing up the character descriptions 500% ish sure#SO THEN THAT MEANS I CAN WORK ON THE ACTUAL STORY!!!! WOOOOO#ive already decided that theres gonna be mentions of me myself and i in it. i love meta storytelling#im cursed with perpetually sweaty hands i hate having to draw on slighty damp paper. nobody understands me#UGH im getting too happy in life im starting to act weird in public and offering to help people. i need to stop#anyways just school doodles!!! because in the period where they take our phones i have naught to do but draw#i need to get back (start) my english reading. and then help my friend with a few questions on her homework. how joyous#and then i can get back to my BETTER homework (working on swapinverse :3)#crash managed to destroy outertale in his lore i wonder how many worlds vice.SER will destroy#actually if hes supposed to be core frisk error then i should make him NOT destroy worlds right???? right#tricule rant
4 notes · View notes
sillyfudgemonkeys · 7 days
Text
About a month ago my new coworker told me he didn't like LoK (that's fine). When I asked why he said it reminded him too much of The Last of Us 2. And I was like ??????? HuH???? So I asked him to elaborate, and due to time constraints (and maybe him just....refusing to really elaborate????) the most I could get out of him was "Korra/Ellie choosing not to kill Kuvira/Abby at the end" and that was "bad."
AND THAT'S IT! Nothing else, no expansion. So I have to tell y'all, my ass hasn't been ok since. It's keeping me up at night. I'm trying to figure out what he means. Cause the math ain't mathing lemme tell you. I think it's all bullshit TT0TT Like this man had a vision, but god does he need some fucking glasses.
Tumblr media
I haven't been this inside my own head since I was debating with air about P5. TT0TT
#ahhhhhhhhhhhh#silly talks#listen no he's wrong I have like an 800 page book on why#the take of all takes#i made a post about it but it's so buried I don't feel like looking for it so I'm just posting this here#i made it the night I heard it jfdklasjfka but yeah I'm still feeling emotions#him: I don't like LoK#Me: it's fine to have wrong opinions#(i'm joking. Korra's best critics are her biggest fans ok)#What really happened “Me: yeah yeah yeah anyway KYOSHI!”#we're a communist country here. if I have a hyperfixation then EVERYONE in the orbit h as a hyperfixation (and it goes vice versa)#i'm yapping about Rangshi and I'm getting responses about FF14 in return the ecosystem is thriving let me tell you#the conversations make no sense but we're all vibbing#listen I'm not a fan of TLoU2 but??????#my dude.........i'm pretty sur the arc and themes of those chars are going in complete opposite directions TT0TT#ok decided to vent for a second at lunch time back into my hell hole#SOS please some one help me~!#It's not healthy~ for me to feel this~!#Y-O-U are makin' this hard~ I can't take it. see. i don't feel right~#SOS please someone help me! It's not healthy~ for me to feel this~#Y-O-U are makin' this hard~You got me tossin' and turnin'. can't sleep at night~#(oh wow those lyrics actually fit my predicament kfljdksalfj)#(this take is literally making me lose it)#(I should just vent and I'll be fine kfljdsalkfj)#it's all just surface level???? the actual depth of comparing them is WILDLY DIFFERENT THO????#I'll be fair that I'm not the most knowledgeable about TLoU2 but even from what I know it's just....surface level comparisons??? TT0TT#what was bro onnnnnn????? TT0TT#it's like comparing apples and oranges...yeah both are fruits but they are so wildly different outside that!!!#i was gonna go on a bender ranting about how none of that adds up but then I fell asleep#so I'll postpone the real rant later TT0TT
1 note · View note
yelloworangesoda · 8 months
Text
genuinely like passively suicidal at this point bc i literally dont know why i bother. im not gonna kill myself but like someone deal with me im just dead weight
#im being dramatic but i really feel like theres absolutely 0 out there for me#i dont like the world we live in i… dont want to live in it. i dont think its worth it#every day i do whatever someone told me to do and then i go to bed and wake up and do it tomorrow and im just. not fine with that anymore#im not this depressed and upset during the day but its so bleak that ive considered faking it just for. yknow attention ig idk#but i dont have the time to do that either. i have to hang out with my boyfriend and go to my moms house and help out my grandma#all things that are so stressful to me. no offense babe if you ever read this but i get so stressed trying to do stuff with you bc you#always want me to decide. which like i understand but i never want to. i want to lay in bed idk what to tell you. theres no real solution t#that its fine its just whats true. i dont have any 2 person hobbies bc. idk. ive never actually had friends or something#anyway please god dont read this before your birthday weekend and feel uptight about it. and never do. its fine its fine i promise#this is embarrassing. youre the only one that sees these posts though i think i may as well address them to you outright. i feel like im a#terrible boyfriend bc i dont do anything. im so passive i feel like im just pathetic dead weight and im so scared to have been dating you#for a year bc thats an entire year of your life you couldve been finding someone that doesnt Just love you and want be with you but also is#like. good to be with. i know youd probably be thinking that its not true or something but theres nothing i have done that you havent done#tenfold youre just too good for me. idk#this is so embarrassing i should delete this#simons spouting#another. stupid vent post in the books. i wonder what tomorrow brings us#vent :(#suicide //
1 note · View note
sanarsi · 2 months
Text
One of your girls
post-outbreak!Joel Miller x virgin!f!Reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Summary: Joel was known for treating women well in bed. That's why, on your eighteenth birthday, you decided to give him your virginity. Warnings: +18, MDNI, age gap (reader is 18, Joel is 56), Jackson!Joel, taking of virginity, soft!dom!Joel, unprotected PIV sex, interrupted sex, pussy eating, fingering, pet names Wordcount: 5k An: Quick smut because I would DIE to be one of his girls. Joel Miller save my soul. Amen. Anyway, happy ovulation days to me and everyone. Born a slut, die a slut. Music I worked with: One Of The Girls - The Weeknd, JENNIE, Lily-Rose Depp
Masterlist
You really didn't know how it all happened.
A moment ago you were standing in your room, grimacing at your reflection in the mirror, and now you were standing in front of the door to Mr. Miller's house.
How is that even possible?
How on earth did you even leave the house wearing this?
Like some kind of slut.
Why did you even think he might like this?
And the more important question is, for what sake you did put on lace underwear?
You blinked a few times, realizing that you had already knocked on his door. Shit.
Your breathing quickened as you finally realized what was happening. You began to mentally curse yourself for your stupid decisions.
Well... when you thought about it yesterday, it didn't seem so stupid. But hearing his heavy footsteps outside the door made you doubt everything that had ever crossed your mind.
What were you doing actually?
You didn't need it to live.
You didn't have to be like your friends.
And yet… you wanted to see what it was like. What it's like to make love to someone.
And as fate would have it, Joel was the perfect candidate to take your virginity.
At least that's what your friends said.
If it weren't for them, you wouldn't be here now. If it weren't for them, you wouldn't know what Joel is like. If it weren't for them, you wouldn't want to experience the same thing.
You wanted to be one of his girls.
The door slowly opened and Mr. Miller stood in the doorway, wiping his hands on a cloth. Suddenly all the thoughts in your head disappeared just like the oxygen in your lungs.
"What's up, little one?" he spoke first. You blinked a few times, realizing that you probably looked like an idiot watching him with those shiny eyes.
"Mr. Miller, hello," you greeted politely. He raised an eyebrow with a small smile and slung the cloth over his shoulder.
“Yeah, hi,” he snorted softly. You felt yourself getting hot. Wonderful start.
"I was just thinking... are you busy right now?" you asked, polite as always. As always, well-mannered.
Joel frowned in thought before glancing over his shoulder into the house. “Uh…” he sighed, hesitating for a moment before looking back at you. “Do you have some urgent matter?”
"Well..." you stuttered and cleared your throat. "No," you said truthfully. "But I wanted to ask for your help... with a certain... delicate matter."
Joel watched you carefully as if he was looking for some hidden intentions in you. You looked like always. Well, maybe apart from a slight shyness. But that was probably the issue of the matter you came to him with. And who would Joel be if he refused a poor girl who needed his help.
"Yeah, okay," he nodded and let you through the door. You automatically moved towards the living room, where you had already been a few times because of Ellie.
Joel closed the door with a quiet sigh and after a moment his heavy footsteps bounced off the walls. You sat on the sofa, staring at the empty coffee cup on the table. Your heart echoed in your ears, drowning out any thoughts. You couldn't even decide with yourself what you should do next. You got to his house, what now? How were you supposed to tell him why you came to him? How were you supposed to ask?
Mr. Miller, I've heard from my friends that you're eager to introduce them to the world of adulthood. I wanted to ask if you'd like to take my virginity too?
No fuckin’ kidding...
"Okay, so what's the deal?" he asked, sitting down in the chair next to you with a quiet groan. You moved restlessly, unnaturally straight as a rod. Joel saw that you were stressed so he didn't even comment on your prolonged silence. You tried to put together a sentence in your head. But your mind was blank. All you could focus on now was your pounding heart and the small smudge of grease on his temple.
Did he always look this good?
“Today is my eighteenth birthday,” you announced without thinking. As if that would shed any light on the matter you had come to him about. But Joel didn't seem too concerned about your strange behavior.
"Happy birthday," he replied indifferently.
“Thanks,” you nodded and fell silent again. You looked down at your intertwined fingers that you were playing with. Joel continued to watch you carefully, waiting for you to speak. Ellie had taught him an exceptional amount of patience in situations like this. And already used to the strange behavior of girls your age.
"What about your birthday?" he said as the silence stretched on. You looked up at him like a lost deer. You opened your mouth to say something but ended up tightening it into a line. You laughed, looking down anxiously.
Fuck. How were you supposed to tell him that?
"You know what?" You looked at him with a smile. "Actually, never mind." You stood up from the couch. "I'm sorry for-"
"Sit back down," he interrupted you sharply.
You sat up immediately.
You blinked slowly a few times as you stared at each other. Joel was completely relaxed, but you, you looked like you were sitting on nails.
"Why did you come to me?" he asked, settling more comfortably in the armchair. Your stomach clenched to the point where you felt bile rise in your throat. Your own stupidity had brought you to this point, even though you wanted to blame someone else. Even the weather. Maybe you had been out in the sun too long? Yes, that was definitely it. “Speak,” he said more sharply.
“I…” you trailed off, feeling your breath start to shake as did your hands. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to… The girls said-“
“What girls?” he interrupted you again. You froze, mouth agape, looking at him as if you didn’t understand anything. So he raised his eyebrows and repeated it slower and calmer. “What girls?”
“Leyla and-“ you stopped to swallow the lump in your throat. “Nadia-“ you wanted to continue but he interrupted you again.
“And what did they tell you?”
He was calm.
Too calm.
That immediately lit up a light bulb in your head. He knew. You looked at him with wide eyes, feeling the cold sweat running down your back.
“Mr. Miller, I’m sorry. I have no idea what I was thinking coming here.” Panicked, you stood up and walked around the couch to leave. Or at least you wanted to, before his hand gripped your wrist, stopping you in your chair. You looked at him, but he wasn’t looking at you. He was still staring at the spot you had been sitting. You had a problem…
“Sit down,” he ordered. “We’ll talk.”
But you didn't move. You stood there, staring down at him. His gray hair, the wrinkles on his face, the sharp gaze.
He was old.
What were you even thinking, coming to fuckin’ grandpa with such a matter? Stupid.
"I don't know if I want to," you said, under the influence of momentary courage. A smile appeared on Joel's lips. And after a moment, his snort echoed around the room. You shivered.
"Yeah, I know," he nodded, and his gaze slowly shifted to you. You locked eyes and you felt your stomach tighten uncomfortably. "After all, you came here for something other than talking."
You gasped for air looking at him like he was a ghost. Your face burned with living fire as he looked at you with such damn confidence.
Oh man, what have you gotten yourself into?
"Mr. Miller-"
"Joel's enough" he interrupted you slightly, tightening his fingers on your wrist. You stuttered with your lips parted, unable to tear your gaze away from him.
You were definitely more innocent than the previous girls who ended up in his bed. At least, they were sure of what they wanted from him.
And he treated them much better than you.
Irony of fate.
Joel looked away, sighing heavily, afraid of his thoughts.
What kind of person was he?
Sometimes he was disgusted to look at himself in the mirror. But the compensation for his bad deeds was the sight of bliss on the girls' faces.
So was he really a bad man?
Maybe.
“Come ‘ere,” he said softly and pulled you towards him. You didn’t resist as he pulled you onto his lap. His hand went around your hip and the other rested on the armrest. He seemed completely relaxed while you were going through another breakdown. Joel watched your delicate face in silence. As if he was assessing what type of girl you were.
You felt naked just by his gaze. So damn intense gaze...
"Why did you come to me?" he asked again, this time gently. You blinked a few times, wondering what to answer. You shifted restlessly on his thigh, making him tighten his fingers slightly on your hip.
"They said you were gentle," you said quietly. So shy. "That you'd be perfect for me for the first time," you added, looking down at your joined hands. Joel watched carefully as your lips tightened into a thin line. A quiet snort escaped his chest, catching your attention.
"They told you that?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement. You nodded uncertainly. "Oh, baby, they lied to you." He smiled gently, seeing a sign of fear flash through your eyes. But it was too late for him to let you walk out his door. "I wasn't gentle with them," he began to explain, which only scared you even more.
What the hell did you do?
Did you really believe girls who were famous for their slutty nature?
Not a very good plan.
“But I can be gentle with you, if you want,” he added encouragingly. Your breathing had long since accelerated to its limits. You looked at him with lost eyes, and honestly? That turned him on more than those confident girls. Seeing no reaction from you, he placed his hand on your thigh, starting to gently stroke it. “You want me to?”
You shivered at his gentle touch. You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded almost imperceptibly.
“I would like that.”
Joel tightened his fingers on your thigh and took a deep breath. Sometimes he wondered what he had done to deserve women coming to him for sex. Not that it bothered him. He just wanted to know if he was called a whore or a good lover. But at moments like this, he hardly cared about anything at all.
"Have you done anything yet?" he asked, beginning to stroke your hip and waist. He had to know a few things before he went any further. He had to know how to take care of you.
You didn't answer for a long moment.
"Kissing? Touching yourself?" he clarified the question. You shifted uncomfortably and denied it, looking away in embarrassment. "That's okay," he reassured you with a tender smile. “Don’t need to be ashamed, baby girl.” You looked up at him, hearing the pet name.
Something in your chest tightened at the sound of him speaking to you in such a tender and gentle way. He immediately noticed the sparkle in your eyes.
"You like it?" he asked, raising his eyebrows with a smile. For a moment you felt ashamed because honestly? You liked it. After a moment, however, the shame turned into amusement.
You came to ask him for sex.
What could be more embarrassing than this.
You pressed your lips into a line and nodded. Joel laughed tenderly and he already knew what you needed from him. You were the type who needed tenderness. You wanted him to make love to you.
Not sex.
Love.
“Okay baby girl, I got you,” he assured you and with a soft groan he grabbed your thigh and pulled you to straddle him. You cooperated with him without protest. His thighs were hard. Muscled. As was his chest that you rested your hands on. He was masculine. And his age didn't match how good he looked. You didn't even know what was causing your wet panties anymore.
His look.
His voice.
His touch.
Or maybe the fact that he was so close.
"First, a quick educational talk," he announced, placing his hands on your hips and pulling you close enough so that your crotches touched. Your breath shuddered. "Are you aware of the possible consequences of unprotected sex?"
"I've heard that-"
"No, interrupted sex is not a form of protection," he interrupted you, knowing full well what rumors could be going around among young, inexperienced people who'd managed to avoid pregnancy once or twice.
"Oh..." slipped out of your mind.
"True, it reduces the risk but it doesn't give any certainty. It’s just bullshit," he explained carefully. You shifted uncomfortably, causing your crotch to rub against his.
Bad move.
You pressed your lips into a line, not wanting to make a sound and nodded at his words.
"I won't cum inside you” he emphasized that you would have confidence in what was to come.
"Okay," you said quietly. Joel must have seen that you were aware of what he was saying to you. Only then did he continue.
"When did you have your period?" he asked directly. You cleared your throat uncertainly.
"I should have it in a few days." He was silent for a moment, struggling with his thoughts. There couldn't have been a better opportunity.
"Fine. We won't have to live in uncertainty for long," he said it more to himself than to you, but you nodded anyway.
Risking becoming a father at his age was no small feat. But he couldn't help himself. Not when a girl like you was sitting on his lap.
"This is going to hurt," he noted, grimacing. "Only at first, and I'll try to make it as painless as possible."
You knew this, so you nodded more eagerly. Joel fell silent again for a moment, looking at you. You hadn't been destroyed by life yet.
And it was to him that you had decided to come, to start your downfall.
He closed his eyes, sighing heavily. "Okay, I guess that's it," he said, looking at you with that tired look of his. You felt a surge of excitement when he said that.
"Oh one more thing. Just in case" he said as if it suddenly dawned on him. "Your sexual partner is always supposed to take care of you first. If he doesn't, don't give yourself to him" he said confidently and your pulse echoed against your clit.
Oh, you didn't expect that reaction. Something about his confidence had such an effect on you.
"So..." you began uncertainly.
"So now I’m gonna eat you out" he replied confidently, hugged you tightly with one arm and then stood up from the chair. You wrapped your legs tightly around his waist as he tossed you slightly to adjust you in his arms.
You clung to his body, cuddling up to him and rested your forehead against his temple to watch what he was doing. And he calmly walked towards his bedroom. Not rushing. Letting you feel the anticipation of what he was about to do to you in your bones.
You looked around his room out of the corner of your eye. Bed, nightstand, wardrobe. Nothing more. You could have expected that. The only thing that wasn't his style was the curtain on the window, gently waving in the summer breeze.
Joel closed the door and walked over to the bed, slowly placing you on it. You supported yourself with your hands, watching as he slowly knelt down by the bed and began to undo the laces of your sneakers.
"I want you to tell me if something hurts you, you feel uncomfortable or you don't like something," he said, taking off each shoe and sock one by one. He looked up at you when he didn't get an answer. "It's important."
You nodded immediately. Only then, Joel start unbuttoning your pants. You watched as his fingers gently loosened the button and the zipper. Without a word, you lifted your hips so he could slide them off you. He looked at your panties with a moment's delay and stopped his movements. He fell silent, staring at your underwear so intensely that you clenched your thighs.
"I didn't know I'd ever see lace on someone again," he commented, slightly unnerved. “That’s nice” he added before he pulled your pants down the rest of the way. A small smile appeared on your lips.
He liked it.
His hands slid up your thighs. His rough touch on your soft skin was something completely new. You liked it. And you weren't the only one. Your pussy responded to his touch, soaking your panties. Oh.
His fingers grabbed your shirt which he began to pull off of you. He slowly revealed every inch of your body until the shirt landed next to your pants. This time his gaze stopped at your breasts. His gaze set your skin on fire.
"Damn baby, you look amazing" he said in delight taking in your whole body with his lustful gaze. “What an old man like me do to deserve this,” he muttered to himself as he stood up with a quiet gasp. He sighed heavily, looking down at you. Big eyes looked at him with sparks of excitement. Lips slightly parted by the heat. And a beautiful body dressed in white lace. “Beautiful view.”
He leaned towards you, cupping your chin between his fingers. You closed your eyes as his lips softly crashed against yours. And he froze allowing you to experience a new feeling. His cold lips and rough beard. You relaxed a bit, which he immediately sensed. And then he started kissing you.
He slowly led you and taught you to respond to his kisses. Until you started to respond more confidently. Then he added his tongue.
He crept into your mouth, colliding with your timid movements. But it didn't last long. Everything about him encouraged you to match him as soon as possible. So after a while you were pushing yourself towards him, hungry for more. But he just pulled away with a smirk.
“Lie down,” he ordered, which you immediately did. His gaze swept over your body again and a silent curse escaped his lips. He gently lifted your leg and began to place a trail of kisses along it. His kisses left wet trails behind when he finally knelt down. You stared at the ceiling, breathing heavily. You clenched your fists in the sheets as his beard began to tease your inner thigh. He couldn't even stop himself from gently grazing your skin with his teeth. You felt it between your thighs like a lightning bolt. Joel smiled as he saw how sensitive your body was to his slightest touch.
You felt his hot breath perfectly above your pussy. You held your breath, tensing in anticipation. And then he placed a delicate wet kiss on your panties. You almost sighed, but then he kissed you with his tongue. Perfectly on your clit.
You moaned, feeling all the blood flowing to the place he had been a moment ago. You didn't have time to shake off the surge of pleasure because his fingers were already pulling your panties down. Until they landed somewhere on the floor. You gasped for air as he got a perfect view of your wet pussy. Embarrassing how much you leaked when he hadn't even started with you.
"Well, hello there" he said with a smile and placed his hands on your hips, hiding between your thighs. "You're so pretty." His warm breath fanned your wet entrance. You clenched, holding back a moan. "Can I say hi to her?" he asked, glancing up. Your breasts were heaving quickly, thirsting for oxygen. You swallowed hard and barely managed a quiet 'yes'.
You didn't have to tell him twice for his lips to place a soft kiss on your clit. You shivered. And he didn't wait long before he ran his tongue over your wet slit. You moaned, throwing your head back as he slowly began to lick up all the wetness that had already leaked out of you.
You began to pant heavily, gripping the sheets as if you were about to make holes. Joel held your hips rigidly and ate you like his favorite dessert.
“Such a sweet little pussy,” he murmured appreciatively before his tongue began to work on your clit. That’s when you saw stars. A moan caught in your throat at the feeling of Joel literally making out with your pussy. Oh he was hungry for a sweet treat like you.
Wet sounds filled the room as did your moans. Uncontrollably, you tightened your thighs around his head, making it clear to him that you were close.
His hands slowly moved from your hips to your stomach and up. His fingers slid under your bra and after a moment his warm hands squeezed your breasts. You arched your back starting to chase your orgasm as his hands caressed your tits. You started to move your hips to meet his tongue wanting to set the pace yourself. But Joel sucked on your clit like he was thirsty so your movements were in vain.
You moaned loudly when he started to move his tongue in circles.
"Yes, yes..." you cried feeling like you were a fraction of a second away from fulfillment. Then he pulled away and ran his tongue along the entire length of your slit. You came with a loud moan and a shiver of pleasure spread through your whole body. Joel teased your swollen clit with his tongue for a moment until the last waves of pleasure passed you and you fell helplessly onto the mattress panting heavily.
His lips placed one last kiss on your thigh before he pulled away and stood up. You opened your eyes, feeling a sudden chill from his absence. You propped yourself up on your elbows, meeting his gaze immediately as he slowly took off his clothes. And despite his age, he had no problem getting his dick hard for you.
Your gaze was fixed on his cock, wondering if it would actually go inside you. You understood why it might hurt.
You swallowed hard at the sight of his hand sliding along his length. His cock hardened even more at the thought of you tightening around him. He slowly walked closer, climbing onto the bed and towering over you. His lips found yours. The sweet kiss quickly turned into something deeper. His hands slowly began to slide down your body. His tongue distracted you enough that it wasn't until he inserted two fingers into you that you moaned into his mouth.
Joel hummed in satisfaction as he slowly began to stretch your hole. You clenched your hands on his shoulders, trying to focus on returning his kisses, but then he made a magical movement with his fingers that almost made you squeal. He laughed tenderly, drinking everything from your lips.
"Oh I think I found the sweet spot," he smiled against your lips before repeating the same movement a few more times, leaving you breathless. Seeing you like this stroked his ego. You were melting under his touch in a sexy as hell way, and if he could, he would spend all day fucking you in every way possible. But he was fucking fifty-six years old and he really didn't want to be a father. What a shame…
His fingers disappeared the moment you relaxed enough so his entrance wouldn't hurt. You looked at him with a misty gaze as he positioned his tip at your entrance.
"I'll go in baby. Nice and slow" he assured you to which you only mumbled under your breath closing your eyes and tilting your head back. It looked like a nod so he looked down slowly sinking his cock into your pussy. Your breath caught in your throat at the slow feeling of being filled. Joel gasped at how tight you were around him. "Relax baby. I need to go all the way in" he said in a hoarse voice. You shivered taking a deep breath and winced at the feeling of him slowly pushing even deeper into you. "That's right, doin’ really good for me. Just a few more inches" he praised you and groaned when his hips finally hit yours. You whimpered feeling tears in your eyes because, damn, it hurt more than a little.
Joel panted heavily for a moment before he finally noticed your condition. He stroked your cheek gently and used his thumb to wipe away the single tear that had managed to escape. His lips slowly began to place kisses along your jaw and neck to help you relax a bit.
“Shhh, you’re okay baby girl. The worst is over” he whispered in your ear and shivers spread through your body. He immediately felt it on his cock that you clenched around. He groaned throatily closing his eyes for a moment because he felt like he was in a cage.
A wet and tight cage.
“I need to move,” he whispered, his voice like he had run a marathon. You began to breathe faster, looking at him with teary eyes. “I know it hurts, but I need to stretch you.”
His lips were on yours in a second, kissing you hard before he slowly withdrew his hips. You moaned into his mouth but he didn't let you break the kiss. He pressed so hard that you had to, or at least tried to focus on it. And then he entered again. You dug your nails into his shoulders, wanting to show him that it hurt.
"I know, baby, I know," he whispered against your lips, making another move. With each subsequent kiss and each subsequent thrust of his hips, it was easier for you. Until finally the pained expression on your face disappeared and your groans were replaced by quiet moans. And then Joel felt your slit accept him with less resistance.
"Just like that," he groaned throatily as he entered you smoothly. His hand slid down your waist to your thigh. He tightened his fingers on your skin and guided you to wrap your legs around his waist. Then he pushed deeper into you, his breath shaking. You gasped as your legs trembled. But not because of how deep he was. Because of how skillfully he moved inside you, brushing against everything he should. He slowly pumped his hips, each time teasing your sensitive spot which slowly built up an orgasm inside you.
But you were missing something. A stimulus that would break the previous discomfort.
"Joel-" you gasped.
"Yeah?" he murmured, running his hand over your thigh, his gaze fixed on how his cock disappeared inside you over and over again. You shivered, clenching around him.
"I need more," you said weakly. Joel immediately looked up at you. After a moment, a smirk appeared on his face.
"Oh, what a greedy girl," he smacked his lips, shaking his head.
But after a moment, you felt an additional stimulus. You moaned, arching your back as his finger began to draw slow circles on your clit. The air caught in your throat as you tried to handle the sudden surge of pleasure.
“Satisfied?” he asked, feeling you slowly start to tighten around his cock more and more.
“Fuck yes,” you gasped, throwing your head back as your hips began to burn.
“Such dirty words from such pretty mouth,” he teased with a smirk of satisfaction that he had brought you to a state where your shyness had disappeared.
He bent down, starting to place wet kisses on your neck. You tangled your fingers in his hair, feeling all your muscles tense up in anticipation of fulfillment. His cock slowly moving inside you, his finger on your clit, and suddenly his teeth in your skin. A deadly combination that made your eyes roll inside out as you came.
“Yes, baby, show me how good it feels,” he murmured against your ear, panting heavily through each squeeze of your pussy. You shuddered, moaning as he prolonged your orgasm as long as he could.
You finally started to shudder from the overstimulation so he took his hands away and tightened them on your hips. You looked at him with tired eyes as he slowly straightened up.
“My turn, princess,” he said, digging his fingers into your skin to hold you in place.
And then he started thrusting. Hard. And fast. You gasped and grabbed his wrists as an uncontrollable cry tore from your throat. Joel watched as you took him nicely. All of him.
He was focused, clenching his jaw tightly. Your moans interrupted by his growl filled the room. You clenched against him from overstimulation and your nails dug into his wrists. But he was too busy thrusting into your tight cunt. Finally, a long moan escaped his lips as he tilted his head back.
"Oh yes, baby," he groaned in pleasure, continuing to thrust into you. You looked at him, feeling everything inside you tighten at the sight. And then his eyes met yours.
And you knew you were fucking lost.
He pulled out of you in a quick movement and grabbed his cock, rubbing it between your wet slit. You moaned squeaky as he massaged your clit with his cock. He made only a few movements before a loud growl escaped his throat and after a moment you felt hot cum on your stomach. You tried to calm your breathing as you watched Joel concentrate on squeezing every drop out of him. He sighed loudly and glanced at you before he slammed his cock into your pussy. You whimpered and he chuckled under his breath.
“Happy birthday.”
2K notes · View notes
hyuny-bunny · 5 months
Text
skz + s/o with long nails
can't sleep and i need to get this thought out before it makes my head explode
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
MDNI (18+) suggestive ideas, mutual masterbation, oral, nail markings
skz x gn!reader
Tumblr media
chan: at first he's indifferent. it makes no difference to him, you might've kept short or no nails to start with while dating him. it isn't till you try out a new spot that leaves you with the best set you've ever had, that he starts to take more notice. especially when his back scratches take a whole new level. he's twitching his leg like a dog when you go too light on him finding it ticklish, he's begging you to scratch him harder. his mind starts to run wild at the thought how it would feel to have your nails clawing at his back during sex as he pounds into you.
minho: he loves your nails. he finds them so cute on you, especially when their pointed like a cat claw. he's not one to comment his thoughts on what you should do but he loves the way your hands look with baby pinks or milk white shades. his cats seem to enjoy them as much as you do when they surround you begging to be scratched next. he really finds out how much he loves them when you're going down on him as his thank you for paying for the new set, when you're clawing down on his thighs. he can't help admire how pretty they look while you sit perched between his thighs as stroke him into your mouth.
changbin: he loves everything about you but the nails he just doesn't quite get. how are you supposed to lift weights when you can't even close your hand into a fist :( ? nevertheless he pampers his partner!! so of course he's putting his card down for you to pay for your new set or sending you the money to pay for them (then some more incase it's a long session and you need to grab food). he's a changed man when he sees the new set. your nail tech found a cute way to put his intials on the ring fingers of your nails. he's posting and sending everyone a photo of your nail set with your hands wrapped around his bicep. he knows that all you need is a ring to complete it.
hyunjin: love love love LOVES your nails. everytime there's an appointment coming up soon, he's already asking what you're getting. he'll send you some ideas, a lot of it might be douyin style but he loves anything you decide on. aside from loving the way they look, he also loves the way they feel. his insta photos might be filled with your hands in shot with coffee or selfies he's taken while's you held his face or gave his cheeks a squish. either way he knows that you know when he plops down into your lap or chest, he's demanding head and back scratches. he's purring like a cat in your lap with every movement but will immediately whine if you stop too soon.
jisung: don't care as long you're dedicating an hour or two to play with his hair after a fresh set. colors make no difference to him but he gets weak in the knees when you come home with red nails. his mind taking him to filth places of having your hand stroking him, how pretty your hands look in with his cum painting your nails. he's always offering to pay for your nails, on the condition that you always do red which you're typically happy to oblige anyways.
felix: there has to be something based in fact for me to confidently say he also more than happy to have you scratch his head, back, anywhere that you possibly feel he might enjoy because he is actually a cat. a very cuddly one that's purring with every scratch across his skin. he loves the set ideas you come up with but especially loves when you incorporate hints of blue in your nails because you know it's his signature color. makes him feel like it's proof that you belong to him in a way that only he needs to know. his only thing to pick at is you can't be as handsy with baking with him when you have longer nails :/ buts that's okay when you make it up by playing with his hair, putting it in pretty braids and giving him neck & chin scratches.
seungmin: also someone who seems in different. he might get annoyed every time you accidentally poke him too hard from a new set. he'd tease you for the way your nails sound while you type but it's all in good fun. another one who's twitching his leg like a puppy every time you scratch his back or head. oh how he could lay like that forever. another one to soft launch you on his insta with shot of your hand on his knee at a baseball game or intertwined while having a romantic dinner. he once again doesn't mind and even learns to appreciate the way your nails rake through his hair. how they feel when your trying pry him out from between your thighs tugging on his hair for dear life.
jeongin: he loves your long nails, he loves it even more when you take him with you to get your nails done together. he's not passing on opportunity to get matching manicures. he loves to see you venture off with colors. when you opt to get a forrest green french tip set, he's right there asking for his pinky nails to be painted in the same green polish. he's posting a picture of your intertwined hands with your matching polish. he's down bad for you and everyone knows it. you can't blame him when you're the same for him. it's all he thinks about when you're both laid next to each other in bed with his hand in your underwear and your hand wrapped around him stroking him so prettily, toying with one another and matching polish adorning your hands.
1K notes · View notes
awrkive · 1 month
Text
NEIGHBOR BLUNDER, pt. 3 — JJK
Tumblr media
in hindsight, you should have seen it coming. had always known your luck – or lack of it, thereof – and the universe's meticulous plan of your downfall made it easy for you to get tangled up in a series of unfortunate events, which presents itself as the neighbor that lives across from you, jeon jungkook.
PAIRING jungkook x (fem) reader
GENRE r18+ (fluff, angst, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
CHAPTER WORD COUNT 18.7k
CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC neighbor!jk, bsf!jimin, accountant!oc software engineer!jk, jk and jimin are chaebols lol, minjoon boyfriends <<<<3, mature language, lots of screaming into your pillow moments, litol bit of #domesticity, FLUFFY FLUFF FLUFFFFFFFFFFFFF, angst if you squint??????????, the x file spoiler lol, suits cameo (me inserting my niche interests into conversations), the biggest warning of this part is: naked jungkook 💀
NOTES sorry for being almost 3 hours late efhkjdhfd i overestimated my abilities a bit mb mb anyway, AGAIN, i want to thank you guys for the overwhelming support! i want to take this opportunity to announce that i'll be taking a break from nb for  around 2 weeks to work on my new jungkook one-shot fic that i will be posting for his birthday ❤️ if you are interested, i have posted the teaser on my tumblr page. LASTLY pls let me know your thoughts!! i LOVE LOOOVEEE reading every single one of your replies/reblogs/asks. i hope you enjoy this one and have a good weekend ahead!!!!!! 
NB!JK VISUALS | TAGLIST OPEN (REPLY IN THE COMMENT SECTION. PLS DO NOT SEND AN ASK ABOUT IT)
READ ON WATTPAD | AO3
PART ONE | TWO | THREE
Tumblr media
You always wonder how a company this big seems to not have any budget lent for a copier that actually works – something that one doesn’t need to violently slap just for it to function perfectly.
You’ve been a victim not just once but five times to its inefficiency, the recent mishap being a month ago when the ink blots jumped right over the cuff of your shirt. 
With the way that you’ve been harassing the copier at the very moment, you’ll say it’s about to do you wrong for the sixth time and you absolutely can’t let it happen anymore – not when you’re currently wearing a white polo shirt that stupidly costs a little too much more than anything in your wardrobe (you decided to spend a little more than usual last New Year’s).
So, with a last unnecessary kick to the bottom of the machine (out of pure spite) you left the copier room of your floor and think, fuck it – go to the IT department and ask Taemu to back you up from his supervisor so you can use their copier instead – which is something you’re not so sure of. 
It’s embarrassing to go there just to ask him for help. Not with your history. But admittedly not that much of a history. After all, he seems to be cool with you and everything seems to be pretty chill. You can just go there; ask a little favor from a friend, and then hurry down to your floor.
There are some other options, though. Like, you can always ask the intern to do it for you. But the thing is, you kind of feel bad for those three. Your co-workers are doing a lot already; asking to fetch them things all around the building, buy them snacks, stuff like that. There’s another one but she’s way too quiet and didn’t really take shit from any of her seniors… which is kind of intimidating – but she's someone you wish you were when you were also an intern. You personally don’t want to help cultivate a somewhat toxic journey for the other three because you also started the same way as them. Beyond that, it would also be too rude to ask favors from Taemu indirectly.
You’re ultimately left with little and only one choice.
The elevator dings and the doors open after it does so. 
One of the people in it is a woman you’ve never met around before. Long, black hair; tailored suit, slender figure, and a posture that screams she’s never hunched her back in her entire life. 
Other people that entered at the same time as you start to bow their heads down slightly and greet a polite, “Good afternoon.” 
You mirror their gesture as well. 
As you step inside and settle on a spot, you wonder who she is. 
An executive, maybe? She looks very put-together, and there’s authority that hangs over her frame… but exceptionally young in the physical aspect. Jungkook is also young, though – and he’s an executive, so that’s entirely possible. Additionally, others seem to know her. Or they're just pretending to know her like you did. Did you miss a ceremony? A meeting? Or did you gloss over some HR email again? You’ll have to check later to find out if that’s the case. 
Anyway, your curiosity doesn’t last long when the elevator doors open once again, indicating the IT department floor. 
You already texted Taemu awhile ago that you were on your way so he should meet you on-time. 
As you walk down the hallway with your phone in your hand, your attention is caught by a familiar voice.
“Hey,”
You look up from your phone and see Taemu waving not too far away, heading towards your direction. It doesn’t take him long to get near you. When he does, you give him a smile.
“Taemu, hi.” You say as a small greeting. Taemu lifts his hand and you thought he was going for a high-five, so you lift your hand as well to meet the gesture. But then he leans in closer, one arm about to enclose your waist, and that’s when you realize he was actually gearing up for a hug.
Taemu seems to register that you weren’t exactly going for the same thing, so he steps back. He seems shy when you look at him in confusion.
“Oh, okay, sorry,” He offers his hand again, but just when you’re already thinking about hugging him because that was what he originally meant to do, he speaks just as you lean in closer to hug him. “I thought we were high-five-ing?” 
Embarrassed, your hands retreat to yourself.
“I thought... you wanted to hug?” You chuckle. 
“Okay, let’s just—” Taemu steps closer again and this time, it’s more than clear to you what he wants to do.
You reciprocate the hug he gives.
“This is so stupid.” You say, chuckling against his neck. The contact is quick as you two simultaneously break apart.
Taemu laughs at your remark, nodding his head. Then he gestures ahead, pointing to the direction of the copy room.
“Your copier not working again?” He asks as you walk down the hallway together. 
You heave a sigh. “Yeah, they really need to change that one. Anyway, have you told Mr. Lee?” You ask, referring to his supervisor. 
Teamu nods his head, opening the door to the copy room for you. 
“Yeah, it’s fine with him. Just sign the logbook and stuff.” 
“Thanks, Taemu.” You say, quickly getting to work, feeling slightly delighted at how their machine smoothly does its job and not like the one at all in your department. “Hey, I’m really sorry for bothering you with this.” You lament as you wait for the paper to slide out.
Taemu waves his hand, shaking his head at you. “It’s fine.” 
You purse your lips into a thin line, giving him a somewhat apprehensive smile. The paper comes out and you get your thing. After a quick scan to see if the copier got everything right, you look back at Taemu to say, “Thanks again, Taemu. I really appreciate this.” 
“No worries. Anytime.”
When you announce that you’re done, Taemu calls your name.
“Hm?” You hum, looking at him and wait for his next words.
He looks coy when he rubs a hand on the back of his head.
“Can I take you out for lunch?” He says, and you still in your position. Taemu seems like he surprised himself with his own words. You open your mouth to speak but then he beats you to it quickly, “It’s not a date. I phrased that as a date – but it’s not – ah, this is all coming out wrong,” Taemu chuckles, interrupting himself. With his hands in his slacks' pockets, he leans to a random table inside the room and looks at you with a more confident stance this time, as if he just gave himself a quick internal pep talk after jumbling his words. “What I meant to say is, if we can go out for lunch together today?” 
You chuckle. You were just about to say yes. Contrary to his assumption, you didn’t really take his first question as an invitation for a date. Besides, he helped you with the copier today.
Nodding your head, you offer him a grin as you say, “Yeah. I’ll go to lunch with you.” 
Taemu walks you to the elevator even though you said he doesn’t need to. He's insistent but you let it, anyway.
Taemu puts his hands on both sides of the door before it closes. The ride is pretty much empty except for yourself.
“When are you off?” He asks.
You think about it for a moment. “Is 12:15 okay?”
Taemu nods. “Sure. See you at 12:15?” 
“Yeah. Later.” 
The elevator closes and you laugh to yourself when you catch Taemu awkwardly waving his hand at you goodbye.
Tumblr media
“No, you didn’t, I kicked your ass at mini golf!” You say, laughing as Taemu looks at you with squinted eyes, obviously saying that was absolutely not what happened on your date a few months ago.
“Uh, you disregarded all the rules.” 
You roll your eyes. “Okay, fine. Rules do not matter, though. It’s just some stick and a ball and… fake grass.” 
Taemu laughs, surrendering his hands to the air, nodding when he says, “Fair, fair.” 
You’re currently at a restaurant not too far away from your company building. It took Taemu and you about five minutes to get here; just a quick waiting time to cross the pedestrian lane to get from one street to the other.
Looking around, you can actually see some people inside wearing your company lace. The restaurant’s sort of like a famous spot around the company, though, so it doesn't necessarily surprise you. You’ve also had a few company dinners here some time ago. 
Safe to say, lunch with Taemu is going… okay so far.
No – actually, it’s way better than you thought it would be.
You could have never, ever predicted that you’ll be out with him alone again after… you know, ghosting him. Your whole assessment of his character has also changed a bit after the whole fiasco.
See, some guys start feeling entitled over your permission and consent when you entertain them even just for a bit. When you go on dates and you break it to them that it’s just not working out between you two, they start to act weird. Like you’ve hurt them. Or that you lead them on – even though it’s absolutely not the case. 
But Taemu’s proving himself to be different. You honestly expected him to act like that guy because he seems the type after your first date. But he surprises you by acting the total, complete opposite.
He’s so… nice. So casual. Like nothing happened. You feel bad because right now, you've officially confirmed to yourself that you totally misjudged him. 
You can’t believe you’ll say this, but Taemu is not an asshole. Like at all.
Even now, you’re recalling what happened to your date and laughing about some of the memories of it, and it feels so long ago you’re starting to remember it differently.
“Anyway, this milkshake’s really good,” you say, taking your glass and looking at it curiously. 
“Yeah? I told you,” Taemu grins, eating from his own plate. 
“You always come here?” You ask out of curiosity since he seems to be familiar with the menu. 
“Sort of? I mean, I try to take in the city as much as I can.” You nod, recalling what he told you before. He came from Daegu, and it’s his first time in Seoul.
Before you can say anything to that, the waiter comes to your table and gives you your bill. 
Taemu and you simultaneously take out your wallets. When he sees you do it, though, he’s quick to shake his head, gesturing for you to not bother.
“No, no, it’s fine. I got it.” 
“I got it, too,” You say, smiling at him, already picking out your card, ready to put it inside the check presenter.
“__,” Taemu says your name while chuckling. “I swear, it’s fine. I was the one who invited you for lunch.” 
“Taemu,” You call him, using the same tone he used. Taemu grins at that. “I think we should split the bill.”
It’s only fair, you think. You ate pretty much the same thing.
You hold what felt like a minute staring competition until Taemu gives in and lets you stack your card on top of his in the booklet.
You’re about to resume eating – pick up on the conversation you left a few minutes ago – when your phone dings on the table, a message popping out on the notification center.
When you read the contact name, your eyes widen but you relax your face real quick lest Taemu asks questions. 
“Sorry,” you say, pointing to your phone. Taemu nods, understanding. You pick the device in your hands, turn to your other side to not be rude, and read the text from Jungkook. 
Jungkook (Unit 446) [12:47pm]: hey I bought you lunch Jungkook (Unit 446) [12:48pm]: i was gonnna ask you to go with me earlier but I got busy with some papers 
Shoot.
You’ve done a pretty good job of not thinking about Jungkook at all for the entirety of the day. You woke up so early this morning that you waited for twenty whole minutes for your bus just so you can avoid seeing Jungkook because everytime his name pops up in your thoughts, you remember what you did the night before and it just messes with your head so much.
Listen, you aren’t embarrassed about trying to get yourself off. It’s just masturbation. It’s a carnal need and it’s totally normal. What you are not proud of is the way you thought about him – out of all people – and how it actually made you feel… a little more motivated to get yourself there. 
But it’s a slip-up. A big mistake. 
How are you supposed to look him in the eyes after that and act like you didn’t do what you did? Granted, you did stop before it escalated. But still, the point is that you thought about him while you were pleasuring yourself. Even if it was for a tiny bit second, it still counts!
Stupid fucking ovulation, you think to yourself with bitterness. You’re a much better person without it, you swear. You don’t go around thinking about men when you try to get yourself off, not at all! Personally, your head is mostly blank when you go through it.   
But Jungkook left two texts. And he’s probably seen the read tag on his end already. 
You [12:49pm]: I just got lunch ): thank you for buying me one tho that’s really nice ofu
You turn your phone off after sending your reply, placing it on the empty space of your table. When you look at Taemu, he’s eyeing something behind you. With furrowed brows, the question about what he’s looking at is on the tip of your tongue when he suddenly says,
“Isn’t that Mr. Jeon?” 
“W-what?” You stammer, not sure if you heard him right.
The knots on Taemu’s forehead fades, and then he nods to himself. “I’m pretty sure that’s Mr. Jeon. He’s going this way.” 
“Wha—”
“Good afternoon, Mr. Jeon.” Taemu stands up from his seat and does a slight bow for greeting. 
Without thinking about it, you mirror Taemu’s action, bowing your head longer than necessary. 
“Good afternoon, M-mr. Jeon,”
It’s no use to avoid his gaze, though.
When you look at Jungkook, he seems pretty much just as surprised to see you. You look away, but your eyes fall to his hand, and you see that it carries a take-out paper bag from the restaurant. You think about his text. 
“Good afternoon.” Jungkook says with an easy-going smile. He goes from surprised to casual real quick and glosses over you as if he doesn’t know you. 
You don’t really know how that makes you feel. 
“I was just going, have fun with your lunch.” He says and politely bids his goodbye, going straight to the direction of the restaurant’s door. 
“He’s really cool, you know?” Taemu brings up when you both sit down again. 
“I— huh?”
“You must have heard about the new project they’re starting at the end of this month, right?” He asks curiously.
You sit there stunned. Stunned from earlier’s interaction with Jungkook but also because you don’t really know what the hell Taemu’s talking about.
“No… I didn’t get any memo…?” You say instead, trying not to act way too oblivious lest he thinks you’re lazy or something. Not that it matters! You’re not trying to impress him or anything. 
Taemu nods. “Well, you’ll probably know about it soon.”  
But your head's too far gone now, still stuck on what happened a minute ago.
You look over at your phone while Taemu speaks, hoping for it to light up with a new notification from the messaging app. 
A few minutes passed by and it doesn’t, even when you leave the restaurant.
Tumblr media
You don’t really know why you’re here. 
It’s been three days since that night in Jungkook’s place where you tried to bake in his kitchen, so it’s also been three days since you started practicing during the nights after work to perfect your cookies. Tonight, it just so happens that the cookies finally taste edible and honestly, it’s more than okay. 
So, maybe that’s why you find yourself in front of Jungkook’s door with a plastic container in your hands, decently-baked cookies prettily arranged inside. 
Jungkook was with you when you made those pathetic excuses for cookies, so you thought it’s only fair for him to try these ones and tell you what he thinks. Brag a little. Maybe have a little chitchat if he’s free or whatever.
It’s also… sort of like a peace offering for something he doesn’t need to know about. You can’t tell him you’re sorry for thinking about him when you did the deed because that’s just plain weird. 
Speaking of weird, though, the interaction from yesterday left you feeling a little empty. There’s this gnawing feeling inside of you that something went wrong – but you can’t exactly point out why. Jungkook also hasn’t texted you after that – which isn’t out of the ordinary. You don’t text everyday and you don’t meet every single day, either – for the record. You’re both busy people. You can only imagine Jungkook’s schedule.
Anyway, if there’s anything that you learned about your friendship with Jungkook, it’s that you don’t need to lie to him. You just have to knock on his door and he’ll unintentionally clear your doubts by being the voice of reason because he’s nice like that. 
You do hope though that tonight clears any weird air between you. Maybe you’ll find out later on that there’s nothing weird going on at all and you’re just overthinking stuff as usual. 
You’re about to ring the doorbell twice when the door finally opens, showing you Jungkook still wearing his polo shirt. He looks like he’s just gotten home from work, red tie undone around his neckline and a few buttons popped open. 
“Hi.” You smile. 
“Hey,” Jungkook looks at you, obviously wondering what brought you to his door.
“I wanted to give you this,” you hand him the plastic container which he takes with a confused look. “Those are cookies. I baked them. I didn’t give you anything when I baked two nights ago because they were bad.”
“Ah,” Jungkook nods, looking down at the plastic. He smiles, then leans on his doorway. “So it’s good now?” 
You gesture a so-so with your hand. “Don’t set your expectations too high. It’s not exactly Poilâne. But it tastes like matcha cookies, I swear.” When Jungkook doesn’t say anything for a while, you decide to add, “You also won’t get food poisoning, if you’re worried about that.”
Jungkook gives you an amused look. “I wasn’t… worried about that.”
“It’s a simple disclaimer. Just in case, you know, you suddenly feel weird in the stomach…” Jungkook arches his brow while you trail off. You roll your eyes lightheartedly. “I’m kidding.” 
He lets out a chuckle and then stands upright. “Thank you for this.” 
“No worries,” you say. You shift your weight from one foot to another. “Uh, do you wanna grab dinner? Right now?” 
Jungkook looks at you apologetically.
“I really wish we could, but I have to finish something tonight. Work stuff.” 
“Oh,” You nod immediately. “Okay. Uhm, good luck with that.”
He smiles at you. Lifting the container up, he arches his brows, saying, “Thank you, again. It looks good.” 
“Yeah, I hope you like it,” You say. Realizing that there’s nothing more left to say, you turn on your heel ready to go. But before that, you look back at him one last time. “Bye.” 
Jungkook grins.
“I’ll text you what I think about them.” He says, pointing to the cookies. 
“Okay, Anton Ego.”  
You both laugh at that, and you enter your apartment with a small smile on your face.
Tumblr media
You don’t want to admit it even to yourself, but you might have taken Jungkook’s words about reviewing your baked goods too seriously that you waited for it last night longer than necessary. Even when the night ended and you go to work the next day, which is today, none of his texts come, and you don’t think anything’s coming anytime soon. 
You try not to think about it too much because he did say he’s busy with work. You’re sure that’s the case, so you feel slightly bad for him. 
Right now, you’re looking for Ms. Seo to get her signature on a document. So you head to the elevator, rushing a bit to get inside the one that’s about to close. It’s a little urgent, so you cannot waste any more time.
As soon as you enter though, you notice who’s in it.
It’s Jungkook and the woman you saw in the elevator two days ago. 
You’re starting to think you need to start using the stairs from now on because your elevator trips are getting too ridiculous. 
It feels like you’re running on auto-pilot when you greet them both, walking to the side to make space for the other people entering. 
You wish you went beside the woman instead and not Jungkook’s side because you then have to try real hard not to look at him.
It proves to be an uneasy task when more people squeeze in as the elevator takes a few stops in between floors. You had to taut all the muscles in your body just to not get into any contact with Jungkook, but even with all the effort, it goes unsuccessful, as you brush his arm when you step back to move a little. 
Jungkook looks at you the same time you do.
“I’m sorry.” You utter, low enough to not cause any unnecessary attention.
A few do turn to stare, anyway. And you can’t help but notice the way the woman’s hand moves towards Jungkook’s to hold it as she takes a look at you. 
Jungkook, meanwhile, gives you that same professional smile he seems to have reserved for every employee that greets him around the building, warm voice saying, “It’s okay.” 
You’re thankful that the next floor is where your stop is.
As you go back to your cubicle, you wonder who the woman is. Again.
There's something about her that feels familiar. She looks familiar. Like you’ve seen her before. You can’t just figure out where exactly. 
“__,” Sol calls beside you. 
“Huh?”
“You’re not having lunch?” She asks.
“Oh…” Right. It’s currently your break time. “Are you guys going out?” You say, looking at Joonhwi who’s two cubicles away from you.
Sol shakes her head, taking her coat from the back of her chair. “No, just at the cafeteria.” 
You nod your head. “Okay, I’ll follow in a few minutes, just need to look over some stuff here,” You point to your computer. 
“Okay. Just text me.” 
You give Sol a smile and watch as she and Joonhwi head out of the office. 
Your gaze falls to the time on your computer.
12:10pm. 
Is Jungkook possibly having lunch right now? You remember him buying you one two days ago and feel a little sense of regret about not taking it even though it isn’t your fault and he should’ve told you first to give you a little heads-up.
You never really talked about it. You never really talked for the past three days.
But then again, he seems to be busy.
With a little hope in your heart, though, you pick up your phone and decide to send him a text. 
You [12:12pm]: hey do u want to go out for lunch? 
Or should you just buy him one like he did for you? It’s not like you’re trying to up him in a kindness competition. It can just be a small, thoughtful gesture from a friend to a friend. 
You receive a reply a few seconds after. 
Jungkook (Unit 446) [12:13pm]: hey __  I’d love to
Your lips curl down when you read the next one that comes in a second.
Jungkook (Unit 446) [12:13pm]: but I have a work meeting in 5mins
Oh. Okay. That tracks. 
You [12:14pm]: okii!! That’s totally cool! good luck with work 😊
You stand up from your chair and take out your wallet from your bag, going out of your office and sending a quick text to Sol that you’re coming to the cafeteria. 
When you get there, your peripheral vision catches a familiar figure. 
You look back, trying to see if it’s someone you know.
Turns out it is. Because it’s Jungkook.
You’ve seen him in the elevator this morning and he wore a grey pair of suit. You’d also recognize his stature anywhere, but just like how it was inside the elevator, he’s with the woman again; long hair down like it was yesterday, this time adorning a suit dress that hugs her figure really well, her stilettos making her legs look longer but somehow Jungkook still stands a little taller.
For the very brief moment that you laid your eyes on them, you saw how Jungkook had his hand placed on the low of her back, how she laughed at something he said, and how they looked good together from your point of view. It seemed like they were on their way somewhere.
You realize that was what Jungkook meant when he said he’s busy.
Tumblr media
They say a silver lining comes in every worst situation possible, and you’re more of an optimist rather than a pessimist so usually, you believe in the concept of silver linings even though right now – it looks like it’s going to be winning the jackpot in the lottery or… free education for everybody across the world.
“The contractor estimates it would be a week-long repair.”
“One week?” Is your immediate response, disbelief coloring your tone. “I’m sorry—” You try to fix your tone, salvaging yourself from being seen as outright rude in front of your building manager. “You mean seven whole days?”
The building manager, Mr. Han, nods his head. He looks genuinely apologetic as he delivers the news, for the record.
“That’s… really long.” You say, albeit calmer now. But you still can’t imagine it.
“It’s just an estimate. Contractor said it might be faster than that, but they still need to do a full assessment of your unit tomorrow, together with the water damage restoration company. We’re doing all we can to respond to the situation. We’re also talking to your upstairs neighbor about the stipulation of his negligence.”
You nod along to his words.
Obviously, it’s his job to ensure everything’s taken care of, but still, you’re appreciative of the way they are going about the current situation. You’ve heard horror stories about tenants getting into arguments with their building managers or landlords when their apartments experience accidents.
“Can I ask about relocation?” You ask. You have to read your lease again to make sure.
“Unfortunately, it’s not indicated in your lease policy, but your renter’s insurance should cover it. You can also talk to your landlord about reducing your rent for this month due to the inconvenience.”
You nod, giving him a small smile. “Okay. Thank you.”
The plumber and some of the help the building manager employed to dry up your place from the accidental flood had already left a while ago, and soon, Mr. Han’s figure disappears entirely after a few seconds as you watch him walk down the flight of stairs and away from the building.
You can hear the loud whirring of the air movers placed inside your unit from where you stood on your porch. Your hair’s damp, including some spots on your work clothes from the water that trickled down your ceiling as you panicked earlier to pack some of your belongings in a medium-sized luggage you managed to grab in the timeframe.
It’s the state that Jungkook catches you in when you see him emerging from the stairs, looking like he also just got back from work.
“Hey, what happened?” Jungkook, with his brows furrowed, looks at you with worried eyes, sounding equally concerned.
You sigh. “Hey,” you greet weakly. “My apartment got flooded.”
“What?”
“It’s the upstairs neighbor. He apparently left his tub running while he went to work this afternoon,” You take a sharp breath, getting pissed again at the negligence. So goddamn stupid, really. “He flooded his own place and the water leaked to my ceiling, and when I got back home from work I was welcomed with two inches of water on my floor.”
“What the hell?” Jungkook says in disbelief. You nod at his reaction. That is exactly what you said when you heard the story from the property manager. “Are you okay?” He asks, and you appreciate it.
“Not sure about that.” You answer honestly.
Jungkook furrows his brows. “You called your landlord immediately?”
Letting out a sigh again, you nod and move to sit on your suitcase – the lonesome bag that you’re planning to bring with you to wherever the hell you’re going to stay tonight. You don’t even think you have enough clothes in it.
“My place is a complete wreck. Most of the water’s drained, though, and the building manager brought some help inside and they put air movers inside to dry the place right now.” You blow air to the strand of hair that escapes from your ponytail out of frustration. “It’s a shitshow, I know.”
“Good that they responded fast,” Jungkook comments, but concern is still etched on his face as he asks you, “Have you called your insurance company yet?”
“Yeah, we’re emailing right now.” You tell him, showing your phone. You hate sending email through such a small device but you left your laptop back at the office – which is kind of a good thing, now that you think about it – because it would’ve gotten flooded had you left it in your place.
“Did you document everything?”
Your response comes in a little curt.
“Yes, Jungkook. I did.” The onslaught questions just somehow seemed to prompt irritation in you, and you can’t help but add, “I know everything I have to do. I’m an adult.”
Predictably, you render Jungkook surprised.
“I— I didn’t mean it like that. I apologize.”
When you look up at him, you see his expression softening – and you feel bad for what you just did.
Chill, __. He’s just asking logical questions.
“No, I’m sorry,” You shake your head, feeling a little ashamed for bursting like that. You shouldn’t have talked to him like that, anyway. “I don’t know why I snapped, you’re just asking the important questions.”
Jungkook hesitantly hovers his hand on your shoulder, and the look he gives you seems to be asking for permission to touch you. You don’t even know if that’s his intention, but you give him a nod.
He smiles, tapping your shoulder for a brief second, saying, “It’s okay. You must be really stressed right now.”
“You think I can’t be calm in this situation?” You look at him with a blank expression. Jungkook’s taken aback and you witness the very split second his smile drops form his face, probably thinking he said something wrong. Then you can’t help it, you break. “I’m just fucking with you.”
Jungkook’s brows furrow as he sees you bursting into a gentle laugh, breaking your serious demeanor.
He shakes his head slowly, seemingly incredulous of the stunt you just pulled.
“You and your jokes…”
“You should’ve seen your face.”
“You got me.” Jungkook chuckles.
“I’m sorry… it’s just me trying to ignore the fact that my apartment literally got flooded and those loud and big ass fans they placed inside are about to tear my ears off.”
You see the way Jungkook’s face winces.
“Where are you staying for the night, then?” He asks.
“I don’t know,” you shrug, genuinely not sure about your options. “Probably gonna book a hotel or something.”
Of course you’ve thought about Jimin. He can probably easily help you find a place for the meantime but it’d probably be hard with him not being physically in the country just yet. Sol also crossed your mind, but you remember she has a roommate.
Getting a hotel to temporarily stay at is the most obvious option there is. It would be too much of a hassle, not to mention expensive, but—
“You can stay at mine for the night.”
You think you’re getting around to Jungkook offering you help without you even asking – but it doesn’t mean you still don’t get a little taken aback when he gives it so willingly and so quickly like this.
“No.” You shake your head.
“Seriously.” Jungkook stares at you.
You stare at him right back.
“I can’t.”
“Why?” He raised his brow.
“I can’t think of reasons right now.”
“You don’t need to think at all.”
You squint your eyes at him, he does the same.
Soon enough, Jungkook breaks first and laughs.
“Come on! You’re gonna freeze in here.”
Hesitantly, you say, “… Are you sure?”
“What are you worried about?” He cocks his head to the side, awaiting your response.
Well. There’s a lot to be worried about.
There’s the thing where you always just seem to be caught into some shit and then he catches you right exactly in it. It’s starting to get embarrassing.
But Jungkook just doesn’t really seem to mind it.
“Nothing, really.” Is what you weakly settled for.
“Okay…” He trails off, raising a brow, obviously a bit confused. “Then what’s the big deal? Do you really want to go through the hassle of picking out hotels and booking a room at this hour? You have to go to work tomorrow.”
You visibly wince at the mention of work.
He’s right and you kind of hate it.
“You’re right…” you say after a while.
“You’re staying at mine?” Jungkook asks again, in which you nod your head in confirmation.
You stand up from your suitcase and pull up the handle. Then you look at him sincerely to give him a smile. “Thank you. I think this is like the five hundredth time this kind of thing happened between you and I.”
“Not counting.” Jungkook shrugs. “Have you had dinner yet?”
You nod your head. “I went with a friend— a co-worker.”
Jungkook visibly stills.
“The guy from a few days ago at the restaurant around work?”
You perk up at that, surprised he still recalls that day.
“Yeah, that’s him. Taemu. From the IT dep.”
He nods. You don’t know if he’s interested or not.
You think it’s a bit random that he brought that up, though, but you shake the thoughts away and call his name.
Jungkook looks at you.
“Thank you.” You say, hoping he hears the sincerity in your voice.
He chuckles. “You’re welcome,” Jungkook then gestures to the luggage you’re holding. “Let me.”
Jungkook doesn’t wait for you to say yes before he takes the handle from you and carries the luggage with him to the direction of his place just across from yours.
Tumblr media
You consciously try to make your steps lighter as you walk out of the shower box, making your way towards your suitcase to check on the clothes you packed.
When you open it, you thank the heavens that there are underwear – and a lot of them, for the record – but as you rummage around some more, you find that other than your work clothes, you only have nightwear inside. And when you say nightwear, not the comfortable cotton pajama kind but the nightie one – and that basically means the baby blue silky set of tiny camisole and shorts that can pass as a pair of panties.
I can’t possibly wear these, you think to yourself, hastily burying the pieces of clothing in the bottom of your luggage.
It shouldn’t mean anything – those are nightwear after all! But it was already embarrassing to ask Jungkook earlier if you could use his shower and his towel. You can’t come out of the bathroom wearing clothes that Jimin once tagged as “slutty pjs”. Not when you’re in Jungkook’s place.
“__?”
You look over to the door when you hear Jungkook’s voice, a knock following.
“Yes?” You answer.
“Do you have clothes in there?”
At the question, your gaze automatically falls to the suitcase where the thin strap of the camisole peeks out in between some other clothes that are completely useless for the night.
With hesitance, you say, “Uhm… do you possibly have a shirt I can borrow? I promise to clean it and return it to you tomorrow, ASAP.”
You hear him chuckle from the other side. “I brought you some. There’s also a pair of sweatpants but I’m not sure if they’ll fit you.”
It’s hard to not celebrate silently when Jungkook says that – but you might have jumped a little at his words.
When you walk towards the door and open it, you give Jungkook a huge smile as you tell him, “Thanks!”
He stops. And then you stop.
You realize you’re only in your towel – his towel, to be exact.
You feel the blood rushing to your cheeks the moment it registers.
Before you can do or say anything, Jungkook moves on quickly and stretches his arm, thrusting the clothes he’s mentioned into your way.
“There.” He says simply, smiling at you.
You take them from his hand, giving him a smile too, albeit a bit awkward.
“T-thanks.”
Jungkook turns on his heel to leave, and you lock the door to the bathroom as soon as he walks away.
You settle his clothes on top of the flat surface of the lavatory, physically shaking your head as you look at yourself in the mirror to shake your thoughts away.
Thoughts of his slightly parted lips when you opened the door while you’re only in a towel.
But it happened in such a split second that you’re not sure if it even happened.
When you take his white shirt, it feels soft to the touch and there’s a scent of fresh laundry that wafts through your nose when you wear it on yourself.
It’s loose on you, the sleeves almost covering your whole arms and the hem stopping mid-thigh. But because of that, it feels comfortable – like the oversized shirts you wear to bed that you, unfortunately, weren’t able to pack with you in the heap of panic.
But the pants show a different case. It’s so big that it drags on the floor as you wear it.
You made do, though; drawing the strings tightly and and knotting them together, pulling up the gartered hems up to your calf.
When you come out of the bathroom, Jungkook welcomes you with nothing but a towel wrapped around his lower half.
“H-hey,” You stammer, eyes meeting his own to avoid looking at his naked torso.
“I was just going in. You done?” He casually says, as if he doesn’t mind being naked in front of you.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m done. Thanks for the clothes.” You say, gesturing across your body.
“Looks good.” Jungkook comments before entering the bathroom.
You think your cheeks just got impossibly hotter.
The sound of water running is heard before you scramble to the living room.
Why was he naked?!
Okay, he wasn’t actually naked naked but still, he had no clothes on. Why did he have no clothes on? You’re trying to erase the image of his torso, the lines that draw an obvious four-pack, his firm-looking chest, and the way the tattoos over his right arm apparently go way above his shoulder. It’s obvious that he goes to the gym and works out from the way those polo sleeves of his always hug his biceps a little too tight – and with a body like that, you completely understand why he wouldn’t mind parading it around.
The AC in his unit is turned on, but it suddenly feels way too hot from where you currently sit on his couch.
Shut up. Ugh. You tell yourself internally.
Completely wanting out of that headspace, you decide to take out your iPad to get in contact with your insurance company to discuss your current situation, and it does a good job of keeping your mind off Jungkook for a while.
You’re so deep in the activity that you don’t even notice a few minutes has already gone by, and with that, you don’t notice Jungkook coming out of the shower.
When you see him in your periphery, he’s now thankfully dressed in a shirt and some basketball shorts. He’s drying his hair as he walks over to your direction in the living room.
You look at him in surprise when you notice the pillow and comforter he has in his hands.
“Sorry. You should’ve called me, I could’ve helped,” you say, standing up from the couch, ready to help him with it, assuming that you’ll be on the couch tonight.
Jungkook looks at you with furrowed brows. “I’m taking the couch.”
You stare at him, ready to hear him say he’s kidding or something but he doesn’t look like he’s joking.
You shake your head vigorously.
“No, that’s ridiculous.”
“What’s ridiculous about it?” Jungkook says, putting the pillows on the couch, starting to make it all the while looking at you through the process to engage.
“It’s your place.” You reason.
“And you’re my guest.” He says as a matter of fact.
“But—”
Jungkook cuts you off before you can even finish your sentence.
“__, it’s fine, really. You can take my bed. I insist.”
“Jungkook…” you trail off, sounding more like a whine.
He laughs and then looks at you with a playful smile. “Okay, should we compromise? Like, what, share the bed or the couch?”
You ignore the way your cheeks heat up at the suggestion.
You honestly don’t know why Jungkook says these kinds of things. You know it’s just his usual teasing, but he’s about to confuse you one of these days…
“God, no.” You respond with a shake of your head.
He chuckles. “Oh, is sleeping with me that repulsive to you?”
You push a little at his shoulder and roll your eyes.
When Jungkook’s done fixing the couch, he gestures to the door by the far end of the room. “Come on, I'll take you to the bedroom.”
You both walk towards that direction and as much as you’ve been over his place for more than once now, you’ve actually never seen his room – and for the record, why would you?
But it looks nice. Just like the rest of his apartment’s interior, his room is also almost the same. Kind of bare, but there are some sleek furniture that add character to the whole place.
“Too cold?” Jungkook asks, and you look at him to see him holding the remote of his AC.
“The temp’s fine.”
He hums and puts down the remote.
“Alright, then. Just call me if you need something.” Jungkook says, gesturing to the door. He’s about to leave when you call him again.
“Good night, Jungkook. Thank you for your bed.”
“Good night, __. Uh… sweet dreams?”
You roll your eyes. Jungkook laughs.
When he leaves, you sit on his mattress covered by black duvets and sheets. It’s soft, and you let yourself bounce on the fluffy surface, delighting at the feel.
It’s about the same size as yours, and when you lay on it, you smell that usual scent that Jungkook always emanates. Clean, crisp, a little sweet. Like fresh apples. Or fresh laundry. He just always smells so… clean.
You feel a little sense of strangeness at the different environment you’re in, but the bed is too soft that you feel like you’re almost floating – and maybe it’s because you are tired from work and drained from the whole fiasco at your apartment, but you fall asleep fast and heavy within just a few minutes.
Tumblr media
You almost jump from the bed when you open your eyes and see a different type of bedding, only to realize that you’re actually not in your apartment and in Jungkook’s instead.
After processing that, you begin to do a little stretching, finding that you slept quite well. As you do so, your eyes catch the digital clock on the bedside table, and you read 4:30 am.
It’s a bit too early to start getting ready for work, but maybe if you start prepping now, you’ll be ready to go out just as when Jungkook is waking up.
When you stand from the bed, you discover the absence of pants around your waist, the cold air sending goosebumps over your bare legs – and as expected, you see the sweats getting caught in between the heaps of dark sheets on the bed.
You must have taken it off in the middle of the night. It’s why you usually forgo pants when you sleep.
You decide against wearing it again, though, assuming that Jungkook is still sound asleep by now so he can’t possibly see you walking around his place naked from the waist down. Besides, the shirt’s big and almost serves as a dress.
Carrying the pants with you, you silently open the door to his bedroom to tiptoe on your way to the bathroom.
“Hey,”
“Jesus christ!” You clutch your heart at the sudden sound of Jungkook’s voice booming across the unit.
When you look at him, he’s… working out. Apparently.
Jungkook takes out the airpods from his ears and drink from his tumbler.
“What are you tiptoeing for?” He asks, brows furrowed.
From where you stand, you see droplets of sweat on the side of his forehead, his chest heaving from the push-ups you catch him doing a few seconds ago on the mat that he laid on the floor. There are small weights on the side, and Jungkook is still wearing his clothes from last night.
Did he possibly just… wake up and then choose to exercise? Is this his everyday routine?
“I didn’t want to wake you,” you make up an excuse that’s kind of partly true. He slept on the couch in the living room, after all. And from the sala, everything is pretty much visible to the eye as the unit has an open layout. So one single noise could’ve awakened him.
“Too late for that,” Jungkook chuckles. He looks at you longer than a second and you’re just about to get conscious when he asks, “You get ready for work at four?”
You purse your lips into a thin line. “Sort of. I also have to check my place.” Jungkook nods, understanding. “Uh, Jungkook?” He hums to acknowledge you. “Can I use your shower? Again?”
He laughs at the way you smile at him awkwardly. “Sure. Your towel’s just over the rack.”
“Thanks.” You smile at him and go straight to the bathroom.
You make quick work of washing yourself, and the shower, just like last night, isn’t your usual routine because of course, most of your stuff are still over at your place. Though Jungkook is kind enough to lend you some of his unused products – even giving you a spare toothbrush which now sits beside his own on the bathroom sink.
When you finish showering, you wear his shirt and his pants once again. As you go out of the bathroom, the sound of oil popping from the kitchen doesn’t escape your ears.
“I made breakfast.” Jungkook says as you make your way towards the kitchen island. He’s a few steps away, working around the stove, frying up some sausage. He takes some eggs and then turns to you. “How do you like your eggs?”
You’re sure he doesn’t mean anything by that, but then you both laugh at the realization anyway.
“Sunny side up.” You say after a while, seating yourself on one of the high stools. “Can I help you?”
“It’s okay, just sit there.”
You put your elbow on the island as you watch him work. “Wow, do you really treat all your guests like this?” You tease, deciding to poke a joke.
Jungkook laughs as he starts breaking eggs into the frying pan.
“You’re the first one.” He raises a brow your way, lips tilted into a playful smile.
“Awe.” You pretend to curtsy which makes Jungkook laugh.
It doesn’t take long before Jungkook serves you a plate of sausage and perfectly-made sunny side up. You say a delighted “thank you!” in which Jungkook returns an adorable smile for.
You thought he was going to eat with you, but he only ate the sausage and began to work on cutting up some bananas while you continued to eat.
“What did they say about your apartment? How long is the repair?” Jungkook asks while he takes out a mixer.
“Week-long,” He visibly winces at your answer. You purse your lips. “I’m trying to look for a place to stay for the remaining days.”
Jungkook furrows his brows. “Lease doesn’t cover relocation?”
“Talked to the building manager and the landlord last night and they said it doesn’t. I also read the policy again myself last night, though, just to be sure. Anyway, landlord’s cutting my rent this month for up to thirty, so that’s something.”
“Okay… how about your stuff?”
As you watch Jungkook during the whole conversation, you realize that he’s apparently making a protein shake, and when he finishes shaking the bottle, he gestures it towards you, silently asking if you want to try it.
You shake your head, also answering his question. “I already filed a claim on it with my insurance company, so they’re handling it for me. They’re probably going to seek reimbursement from my upstairs neighbor’s insurance if he has one,” You shrug. “And I’m also gonna have to ask him to pay for the deductible.”
Jungkook nods, consuming his drink. You watch as he leans back on the kitchen sink, putting his protein shake down and crossing his arms, looking right at you.
“Why don’t you stay here for a while?”
You look right back at him weird.
“You’re not serious.”
“When am I not serious?”
You hold a staring competition after that, but Jungkook’s eyes are way too intense so you break away first.
“I just can’t.” You say, interrupting the silence.
“It’s friend to a friend. I bet you’d do this for me too.” Jungkook shrugs.
He doesn’t understand, though. Staying at his place for the remaining six days would mean that you’d be both living under the same roof together, and while it’s true that you would probably do this for him if he was in your shoes, it’s just not the same.
But you don’t want to get into all that. It’s too complicated to explain, even to yourself.
So you decide to joke a little.
“Probably not.” You tease.
Jungkook chuckles. “Mean.” He comments, shaking his head at you and playfully clicking his tongue.
“I’m joking,” you smile apologetically. “It’s just for six more days, though. The manager told me it might take faster.”
“Where do plan to stay, anyway? A hotel would be really inconvenient. The nearest one around here is too far from work, not to mention it’d be expensive as well.”
“There’s loss of use coverage,” You say, even though you know the stipulation, and your apartment flooding because of your neighbor’s negligence might probably not be in the clauses.
It’s just to reason with Jungkook, but he’s quick to present another point.
“It’s gonna take a long while, no?”
You pout. Sighing, you say, “You’re right.”
“Okay, so why not stay here?” Jungkook asks curiously. “You know I don’t mind. I won’t mind.” He says and it sounds so convincing and genuine.
You decide to deflect a little because you feel like giving in any seconds now.
“You say that but wait until you find that I’m not very likeable as a roommate.”
Jungkook raises a brow. “Shoot. Hit me.”
Pursing your lips into a thin line, you try to think of your bad habits.
“I…” you trail off, but it stretches into seconds way longer than necessary.
Jungkook chuckles. “See, you can’t even list one.”
“I don’t cook.” You point out.
“I already know that.”
You frown. “So we can’t take turns cooking while I stay here.”
Jungkook only shrugs. “There’s take-out.”
“You’re gonna eat take-out for a week?”
“I can cook.” He chuckles.
“Okay… but sometimes, I get super cranky.”
He nods. “I’ll be out of your way, then. You won’t even notice I’m here.”
You sigh, out of reasons now.
“I’ll try to be helpful with you in the kitchen for the next six days. And I’ll also be nice.”
Jungkook’s brows perk up. “You’re saying you want to stay here?”
“Yeah,” you nod. “But… I wan to pay you.”
“__, the whole reason why I’m offering is because a hotel is gonna cost you,” Jungkook laughs.
That prompts you to put a frown on your face.
“Fair point. But I’m going to take your couch the entire time, okay? And that’s final.”
It takes a little longer for Jungkook to agree to that. But he nods his head, anyway, saying, “Sure.”
It sounds so non-committal. You think he's going to still try insisting taking the couch.
“Okay.” You say, ignoring that thought, smiling at him. “Thank you.”
“You know you’re always welcome, right?” Jungkook says.
You’re thankful he turns around after he says that to tend to the stuff he used a while ago in the sink, giving you a perfect leeway to avoid his gaze lest he takes notice of the way you can’t help a big smile.
“I’m gonna take a shower. Finish your breakfast.” He says, pointing to your unfinished plate. 
You give him a small salute.
Before he goes to the direction of the bathroom, Jungkook turns around to ask. "Do you want to go to work together?" He raises a brow, but then a second after his question, he puts a hand up, effectively stopping you from answering. "You're gonna say no. But I insist. Say yes, I made you breakfast." 
You laugh at his squinted eyes. 
"I was going to say yes, anyway."
"No, you weren't." Jungkook fires back. 
You shoo him away playfully before he finally leave for the shower.
All you can think about is that maybe silver linings are indeed true.
Tumblr media
Sharing a space with somebody has always felt… weird.
You had a roommate back in college for the whole four years, and while it wasn’t the worst thing that ever happened to you – it was just an experience that didn’t really strike you as something memorable or fun. Min Heeji was a Bio major who was an extreme introvert, and past the casual hi’s and hello’s, you both just never hit it off.
After moving out of your dorm, you rented around Itaewon. You found the unit through a listing you saw on Facebook – some woman who was finding a roommate to split the rent with. You found out later that the reason why the previous people before you left was because she was quite an interesting lady… let’s just say – she was a person who dabbled on the arts of illegal drug trading. Jimin jokingly told you he wondered about how her weed tasted like. Sometimes, you want to smack him on the head.
You pretty much decided on being against roommates for the entirety of your life after that.
But Jeon Jungkook is thankfully not a total hermit, nor does he sell weed.
It’s been long since you lived with somebody, and being under the same roof as him is different – the good kind of different, to be clear.
He’s somewhat a clean freak so it’s almost embarrassing to do anything in his place because it’s always so spot clean.
One thing that you learned though is that he’s a busy man. You had an idea about a packed schedule and non-existent free time for an executive person like him – but the idea feels more real now that you’ve witnessed it.
On the first day of your stay, after your apartment got flooded, he drove you both to work just like he offered. During the night, though, he seemed to have come home late. You slept at around 10pm and never saw him entering the door, and when you woke up the next day, he’s gone, only a note on the fridge telling you that he’s prepared some breakfast you can heat up to eat.
Nonetheless, you feel into quite an easy routine with him.
After a great deal of insistence from your side, Jungkook is rightfully assigned in his bedroom while you lay on the couch. It’s a bit bigger than the one you have on your own, so there’s space for moving around. Even when you wake up with shitty back pains in the mornings, sleeping on his couch is better than sleeping in your current wreck of an apartment as the contractor is already repairing your place.
As of the third day since the incident, they’ve already changed your ceiling, the flooring coming next. It was starting to look good as per your visit.
That made it clearer to you, though, that you’re indeed staying at Jungkook’s for another four days.
Jungkook was so busy that he even worked on a Saturday – told you that it was a hectic week for his team over a shared dinner that you thought will happen only once during your stay with his packed schedule. On Sunday, you kind of assumed that Jungkook will still be at the office, but he surprised you when he came barging in the bathroom while you were in it.
You had your leg propped on the edge of the bathtub, squeezing the bottle of lotion in your palm and spreading the cream over the skin of your shin, adjusting the towel up your thighs so you can cover your entire leg with the product.
You did so mindlessly, part of your usual after-shower routine, completely unassuming of the sound of the doorknob clicking and Jungkook suddenly barging inside the room with a hamper in his hand.
Frozen in your position, your eyes locked into his own as he stepped a foot forward on the tiled floor. You realized the hamper is his laundry.
“Sorry, I didn’t know you were here,” Jungkook apologized, and he looked genuinely bashful.
“I thought you were at work.” you said, adjusting the towel on the top of your head.
Jungkook raised a brow, but there’s a smile on his lips. “On a Sunday?”
You narrowed your eyes at him which prompted him to laugh. A beat of silence, and then you noticed Jungkook’s gaze. You felt his eyes to the direction of your raised leg on the porcelain tub – and if your own sight didn’t deceive you, you could’ve sworn he’d made a quick glance-over to the expanse of your bare leg before he snapped right back into looking at your face.
“Anyway, I was just gonna do my laundry,” Jungkook twisted himself away from the bathroom’s door. “I’ll wait for you to finish, though. I’m sorry again for barging in.”
At that, you quickly shook your head and planted both your feet on the tiles, standing upright.
“No, it’s fine. I’m done, anyway. Are you in a hurry? I just need to change into some… clothes.” You said, glancing at the heap of some pajama pants and a t-shirt on the bathroom sink.
“Not in a hurry. You can change here.” Jungkook gave you a small smile.
You nodded your head. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry. I’ll be super quick.”
Your lips curled into an apologetic smile, but Jungkook waved you off.
He took one last look at you before he locked the door – one thing that you forgot to do in the very first place.
You blamed it on your habit of not really being mindful about it since you were used to living alone.
The day after that – one fateful Monday – Jungkook once again was MIA at his own place. You woke around 6 am, and as you got ready for work, you noticed a note on his fridge that he went to work earlier than usual that day, and he’d also be working late so you should lock up at night.
At the company, you did not even catch a single glimpse of him.
You bought some food on your way to his place later that day, thinking that maybe you could share a meal together – nevermind the fact that he had told you he was going to be home late. But you did not expect his “late” would exceed past 11 pm, and since you were also pretty much tired from your own activities for that day, you fell asleep on the couch without making it, lying on the surface with no pillows and comforter over your body.
In your dreams that night, you felt like you were floating.
Somebody has tucked their arms under your knees and neck, taking you off the previous surface you were lying on. The unfamiliar man cradles your body against his, carrying you somewhere and putting you on a much softer place. A mattress. A big, soft, mattress. And you noted that the man smelled of green apples and laundry. An almost familiar scent.
Needless to say, your dream was quite vivid that night.
When you woke up the next morning, you were welcomed with the familiar grey paint of the walls – the white ceiling, and the dark sheets and pillows that surrounded you. A waft of fresh laundry smell. The Iron Man figurine on the top shelf of the cabinet in the corner of the room. The black slippers on the side of the door that are way too big to be yours.
Jungkook.
The strange man in your dreams was Jungkook. And it wasn’t a dream at all.
It was Jeon Jungkook who carried you all the way to his bedroom from the sofa so you could sleep comfortably on it.
When you went out of his room that morning, ready to thank him and tell him he didn’t have to do what he did, feeling bad at the thought of him sleeping on his couch at his own place, Jungkook was nowhere to be found.
But as if it was becoming tradition, there was a note on his fridge that told you: I hope you don’t mind that I brought you to my room. I found you uncomfortable on the couch last night. Didn’t cook us breakfast because I have to go to work early again today, but I’ll have food delivered at around 7. Good morning, __ :)
     — Jungkook.
That night, though, Jungkook miraculously came home early.
He arrived an hour after you, just in time as you finished doing the prep for the bibimbap you were planning to eat on your own, assuming Jungkook was going to be late again. When you saw him entering the door, you decided to make the portions of the ingredients bigger, thinking that it was the perfect opportunity to say thank you for the other night.
And you did not forget to say that either.
“Thank you for last night. You didn’t have to…” you trailed off, giving him a sheepish smile across the dining table as you both ate.
Jungkook, with his mouth full of rice – seemingly (thankfully) enjoying the meal you prepared for him – munched on it before he said, “You looked real tired. And uncomfortable, which reminds me, you should sleep in the bedroom as well tonight.”
You shook your head. “It’s fine, Jungkook. Last night was just – uh, I was waiting for you to come home because I didn’t want to just lounge around your living room while you aren’t around, but then I guessed you arrived a little late.”
Out of all the things you’d said, it seemed Jungkook only remembered one thing.
“You were waiting for me to come home?” He said, his hand reaching for the side dish pausing mid-air, eyes trained to you. Curious, his brow piqued in what seemed like genuine intrigue.
You stopped. You went over your words, not realizing those came out of your mouth.
Obviously, you didn’t mean for that to slip out.
So, you shook your head slowly. Hesitantly, you reasoned, “It’s just you’re always in your room first before I fix the couch for bedtime. So.” You shrugged, knowing your explanation didn’t suffice.
Jungkook gave you a nod with small a smile on his lips.
“I’m sorry for making you wait, then. It’s just extra busy at the company these days.”
Your brows furrowed in curiosity, “Yeah, I heard about the collaboration with Kang Tech.”
You found out about it at work that day. It’s in the accounts payable you’ve worked on the past few days, and when you asked Joonhwi and Sol about it, they confirmed the recent moves the company is recently making.
You also realized then that the reason why the mystery woman in the elevator was familiar to you was because you’ve seen pictures of her before.
Of course you’d know her. She’s the woman Jimin’s parents are trying to set him up with. The one and only Kang Heesu. She took over as CEO just very recently at Kang Tech.
Apparently, Blue Nexus and Kang Tech are collaborating on a product that will be announced later during the month – which explains her being at the company oftentimes, Jungkook being busy, drowned with work stuff – them working closely together.
Whatever you felt on that day you saw them together – you’d like to dismiss that as just a blip in the system. Your system, to be exact.
It isn’t any of your business whoever gets around with Jungkook. Whether he’s close with Kang Heesu outside work or not (like what you’ve pondered about ever since finding out about the information of their collaboration) – that’s their thing.
“Yeah, the team’s been working overtime because of it.” Jungkook added to your words from earlier.
“So, you’re more tired than I am,” You pointed out, noting the obvious. He went to work at the ass-crack of dawn, went home late, and whenever he was home – all he faced was his laptop.
You even doubt he was getting enough sleep. There were bags under his eyes that weren’t there the past month you first met him – and even though he carried them with a certain grace, you could still see that some of the shine in his eyes was becoming absent.
You were glad you were able to prepare something for him. Did something for him. You didn’t have to – but you did. Because you wanted to be a helpful roommate.
“Does it show?” Jungkook chuckled, leaning back on the chair, a bashful expression on his face.
You shook your head. “Nope. But yeah, you don’t need to give up your bedroom tonight. I’ll be fine here.”
“I actually bought something. Wait a minute,” Jungkook suddenly said. Your brows furrowed when you watched him saunter over the living room and in towards his bedroom. When he came back to the dining area, he was carrying a huge paper bag. You looked at him, visibly confused. Jungkook cleared his throat as he sat back down on his seat. “I was thinking you could use this. It’s a foldable cushion or whatever so you can sleep more comfortably on the couch.”
You gawked at the paper bag, and then at him.
“What?”
“I went to the mall yesterday and the lady told me this is one of their best sellers… I don’t know. Do you want to have a look at it?” Jungkook said, worry seeping in his tone.
“That’s a… cushion? For the couch?”
He nodded.
“Oh.” Was the only thing you could utter. You didn’t really know what to say. “I… this is really thoughtful. You didn’t have to, you know that, right?”
Jungkook shook his head and gave you a small smile.
“Thank you, Jungkook.” You told him sincerely.
“It’s nothing.” He waved you off. “I got that dry-cleaned already, by the way, so you can use it tonight if you really insist on sleeping on the couch.” Jungkook said with a teasing smile.
“That,” you point to the paper bag, “will single-handedly get me to want to live here for another three months.”
Jungkook raised his brow. “Really?”
You chuckled, leaving the conversation up on the air.
When you both finished your meal, you offered to do the dishes yourself, but Jungkook was insistent to do it, saying you’ve already done a lot for the day. You begged to differ, but you relented, anyway.
After you showered and made the couch, geeking internally at how soft the cushion he bought was, you couldn’t sleep right away, your mind finding it hard to focus on the lull of the crickets. So, at around 11 pm, you opened your laptop to pull up an X-Files episode, thinking it could condition you into being sleepy.
You promised yourself you were just going to finish one more episode, but the next episode button was too tempting and you found yourself binging the show into the wee hours of the night.
“__?” A voice coming from the far end of the room called, followed by the clicking sound of the lights turning on. With that, you found Jungkook standing on his door with his eyes half-lidded, hands rubbing his chest, seemingly having just woken up from his sleep.
“Jungkook,” you acknowledged him, straying your attention from your show. Jungkook started to trot towards the direction of the kitchen, and your eyes followed him as he stopped in front of his fridge, taking some water out and pouring it into a glass.
After he drank it, he looked at you to ask, “Can’t sleep?” You nodded your head. He made his way towards the couch, pointing at it. “Would you mind?”
“No, do you want to?” You adjusted the duvet you put all over your back to make room for him, and Jungkook placed himself beside you, peering over the screen on your laptop.
“What are you watching?” He asked, voice a little groggy.
“The X-Files. You know the show?”
“Heard about it a few times. Never gotten around to watch it, though,” Jungkook said, leaning on the back of the couch, eyes still glued to your laptop.
You smiled. “Maybe you can start it now.”
“What’s it about?”
“Uh… aliens,” you started off, feeling a little silly about it. Gauging his reaction, you waited for him to give you a judgmental look but he seemed to be intrigued when he looked at you, asking for more details. You perked up that, feeling suddenly excited. “Okay, so, the guy here – his name’s Mulder. He’s an FBI agent who’s tasked on cases that have, you know, unexplainable nature. Basically, he believes in aliens, all that ET stuff,” you explained. Right on time, Gillian Anderson appears on frame. Pointing at her, you looked at Jungkook as you introduced her to him, “And the woman – she’s so pretty – that’s Scully. She’s a skeptic. She’s an FBI agent who’s also a scientist and was assigned to be with him to debunk his work.”
“So, they investigate cases together?” Jungkook added.
You nodded your head. “Yeah, and it’s different for each episode. There’s the alien storyline which is like, the main plot of the show, but there’s the fun filler episodes. Monster of the week, they call it. I’m rewatching one of those right now ‘cause they’re fun and don’t have a backstory.”
“It sounds good,” Jungkook looked impressed, training his eyes back on the show.
You weren’t sure if he was just trying to make a conversation, but he seemed genuinely interested as you both watched the show, which tickled your excitement more. You’ve tried to get Jimin into it but he wasn’t really an avid fan of watching long shows, so you’ve given up on trying to convince him to be as obsessive of the show as you.
“Do they kiss?” Jungkook suddenly asked mid-episode, brows furrowed as he watched Mulder wiped something off the side of Scully’s lips. It’s the episode when Scully just got back from being abducted.
Amused, you looked at him and let out a chuckle. Jungkook turned to look at you, confused at the reaction.
“Hm?”
You shook your head. “No, it’s just funny. So, there’s a thing in this show, right? Scully and Mulder are not supposed to be a couple, but they act like one.”
Jungkook let out a seemingly enlightened, “Ah.” Then he looked at your screen again, “I’m watching it right now out of context and I’m assuming they’re a couple.”
“Right? They have such insane chemistry. It’s why I love this show so much.”
“Wait. They never get together? Or kiss, romantically?” Jungkook asked curiously.
“They kiss on the seventh season. We’re on the second one.”
“Wow,” He breathed, genuinely surprised. “That’s a long wait.”
“I know,” you chuckled.
You both sat beside each other as the episode finished. Jungkook would have some questions, and you happily answered each one. It was also fun to share some lore about the show – and you didn’t know if you were coming off too geeky about it – you were just unbelievably excited that he seemed to genuinely like it.
Time passed without you both noticing, and it was 2:23 am when you became hesitant on clicking the next episode button.
“Do you still want to watch another one or…” You trailed off, eyes glued to the screen, waiting to hear Jungkook’s response. But then a few seconds passed, and you didn’t receive one. Turning your head to the side, your eyes widened when you see the state Jungkook was in.
He was leaning far back on the couch with his head resting on the backrest, arms crossed over his chest, lips slightly parted with his eyes shut closed. You could see his chest rising and falling from the way he breathed in and out of sleep, looking quite peaceful regardless of his seemingly uncomfortable position.
You shut your mouth and closed your laptop quietly, trying to be careful with your movements so as to not disturb him and accidentally wake him up. Stretching your back to lean down, your breath hitched as you tried to set the laptop down on the coffee table, not daring to graze any part of Jungkook’s body, especially when his thigh was so closed to your own.
When you successfully put away the device, you went back to sitting beside him, contemplating on your next move.
You ended up staring at him, noting the way his biceps are bulging out of the sleeves of his white shirt with a thin material from their crossed position. Your eyes trailed down to the veins on his forearms, and naturally, you focused in on the one with the swirls of ink around it. It was a body of art on the first look – but looking at it at that moment – close up and free, you took time to identify the drawings on his skin.
There was that snake that trailed down close to his hand, the skeletal rock n’ roll hand, and the script that says “rather be dead than cool”. It was a shame that you couldn’t see from your current view the flower tattoo you were always curious about, nevertheless, the entirety of his inked arm was just… breathtaking, to say the least.
You wanted to ask him what they meant – or if they even meant something. You knew by now he only got them in college – when he moved to the US – and you were just curious about how he decided to get them; about the backstory, anything… Would love to trace down your fingers on his skin as he tells you the exact moment.
And then you realized what you were doing and suddenly looked away.
You felt like a creep. What were you doing, staring at him while he was unaware, unconscious in his sleep? It was not right, and you were supposed to scoot over to the edge to give him plenty of space all for himself.
But as you looked at him again, your eyes stopped at his face, and you couldn’t help but stare at it.
Again.
His nose was something you weirdly have a liking to, and there’s a scar on his cheek that once again bubbled up another layer of curiosity within you.
“Stop it.” You mumbled out loud – not loud enough for Jungkook to hear – but just enough to snap yourself out of the trance you were in.
It was stupid. So stupid. To stare at a sleeping man and have those thoughts inside your head. Jungkook would never do anything like this to you, and at that sentiment, you stood up from the couch to get away.
You caught a sight of the duvet that you used a while ago. As you looked at Jungkook, he seemed to be in dire need of one, so you made quiet steps to put it over him, stopping your breathing in case you did it too loud and he wakes up.
As you carefully laid out the blanket on top of his body, Jungkook stirred, and your breath hitched as you stopped on your tracks.
He mumbled something incoherent, his neck craning to lay on his cheek. Regardless, he stayed on his position, arms still crossed, seemingly going back to his deep sleep instantly.
You stepped out in front of him, letting out a breath of relief.
Standing there for a few seconds, you wondered about where you were going to stay. Jungkook was on the couch and unlike him – you could not carry him to his room without him noticing.
Looking at the direction of said room, you thought about staying there for the night, but decide against it. You didn’t get his permission to do so, it’d be rude—
But the couch is only one, though. And you could feel a yawn ready to come out of your own mouth, sleep lurking at the back of your head.
You could try to wake Jungkook up to tell him to go to his room so he could sleep more comfortably, but you couldn’t do it. The past few days, he had been so busy with work and seemed like he wasn’t getting enough rest. What if you woke him up and he couldn’t go back to sleep anymore? That would just make you feel bad.
Getting the pillow strewn over the edge, you walked towards the direction and fixed it against the arm rest, sitting on the spot and making yourself comfortable on it. Of course, it wasn’t – you were craning your neck too far to the side to try to lay your head, and your body was sprawled in a weird sitting and lying position.
It was fine, though. Jungkook was about two feet away from you, and you felt like you could sleep in the state.
But it was a few long minutes before it completely overtook you.
Tumblr media
There’s a feeling of a hard plane against your back when you feel yourself waking up.
You’re in a curled position, hands tucked under your cheeks. As much as you’re starting to slowly feel conscious, you’re still not a hundred percent aware of your surroundings just yet. It’s why you ignore the blow of hot air against the crook of your neck.
When you blearily open your eyes, you’re welcomed with the sight of the back of the grey couch you’ve accustomed yourself with over the past few days. The white foldable cushion you’re lying on. The familiar scent of Jungkook’s apartment.
It’s another usual morning, as far as you’re concerned.
So, you stretch an arm up as well as your leg, groggily mumbling something as you go back to closing your eyes again to hopefully sneak in a few more minutes of sleep.
“Hmm…”
At the sudden sound, your eyes snap open, surprised at the embodied voice that came out somewhere that’s definitely not from your own mouth. It was close, though – something close to your neck; you felt it so – and at that realization, your eyes trail down to your waist, and your breath catches in your throat when you see an arm wrapped around it.
Under your head is another arm that adorns a familiar sleeve tattoo.
When you crane your neck to look behind you, you’re welcomed by Jungkook’s locks of black and messy hair, his face apparently buried in the crook of your neck.
He must’ve felt you move because he stirs in his position, mumbling something, arm tightening around you.
You feel your heart starting to beat faster than usual as you feel the tips of Jungkook’s fingers resting on the bare skin of your stomach due to your camisole riding up, and your eyes continue to widen when you saw that the shirt he’s worn last night is now lying haphazardly across the coffee table where your laptop is.
When Jungkook pushes himself against you closer, that’s when you feel something hard against the cleft of your ass.
“Oh my god!”
“What the fuck!”
“I’m so sorry!” You immediately say, retreating your hands that just pushed him off the couch once everything registered in your head.
You just… slept with each other! You woke up with Jungkook spooning you! The hard plane against your back that you felt earlier was his chest and the hot air blowing in your ear was his breath! You both fell asleep together on the couch!
Jungkook – the poor man – visibly winces as he cradles the back of his head, adjusting himself on the floor after you forcefully yeeted him off the couch.
He didn’t expect that, of course he didn’t! He still looks like he’s half asleep when you kneel on the floor in front of him, grabbing his shoulders and craning your neck to check if you’ve done damage to his head.
“What the hell was that for?” Jungkook asks, still lost about what just happened.
You grimace as you hesitantly put your palm over the back of his head and rub to soothe the pain you’ve caused him.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push you. I was just surprised and shocked when I–”
You stopped speaking when you notice that Jungkook is looking up at you, eyes half-lidded from sleep. Stopping your ministration on the back of his head, you retreat your hands to yourself and look away.
“We slept together.”
“What?” Jungkook asks, his tone incredulous, but more like confused. When you train your eyes to him again, you see him looking down on his body and then yours.
Your cheeks heat up when you realize what you just said.
“Oh my god, no! Not slept slept with each other! I mean, we slept together. Like, literally.” You say, looking at him in panic.
Jungkook furrows his brows. And then after a beat of silence, he lets out a low, “Oh.”
“Oh?” You parrot back.
“Yeah, oh,” He says drily. Jungkook rubs his eyes with his fists and then looks at you again. “I’m sorry, I feel disoriented. I just woke up.”
You wince at that, feeling bad for pushing him again.
It was just a reflex thing, okay! Especially when you felt that certain something in your ass.
When Jungkook stands up from the floor, you notice the strings of his grey shorts getting undone, and your eyes betray you as they pay a look at the noticeable bulge on his crotch.
Jesus H. Fucking Christ.
You stand up quickly, following after him, feeling your heart hammer in your chest.
Okay, boo-fucking-hoo! Men get boners in the mornings. What’s the big deal about it?
“What time is it?” Jungkook asks, brushing his hair back, and you have to physically look away and try to busy yourself by looking for your phone so you can ignore his naked chest on display and his abs and stupid big arms.
You spot your phone nearby and turn it on.
“Six thirty.”
“Shit.” Jungkook hisses.
You’ve never heard him let out so many curses before.
“What? It’s still early.” you say, in case he was referring to work.
Jungkook shakes his head. “Yeah, no. I was supposed to get ready at five am sharp. Need to go there early.”
“Oh.”
He groans, and the sound makes your stomach feel a little weird.
“I have to go shower,” Jungkook says, picking up his shirt from the coffee table. “I’m sorry about earlier.”
“Huh?” You realize what he’s talking about and is then quick to shake your head. “No, not your fault. I, uh, you fell asleep on the couch last night and I didn’t want to wake you.”
He nods, more like to himself. “How did we…?” Jungkook points between you, eyeing the couch.
“I didn’t want to use your bed without your permission, so I slept on the couch as well,” But then you decide to add, “But I didn’t sleep beside you, I was like –” you point to the edge of the couch, “there.”
“Ah,” Jungkook follows your eyes, and then nods. “Okay.”
“Yeah.” you purse your lips into a thin line. “Sorry about that. I should’ve just woken you up, huh?”
“Nah, it’s fine.” He dismisses you with a wave of his hand. “Well, is it okay if I use the shower first?”
“Of course.”
Jungkook smiles before he saunters towards the bathroom. You try not to stare at the hard lines of his retreating back, taping down to his narrow waist.
You failed to do that, obviously.
Sighing out loud when you’re sure he can’t hear you, you busy yourself in the kitchen to make some toast.
Tumblr media
After work, you paid a quick visit to your apartment to see how it’s going, since you’re supposed to be able to come back tomorrow.
Your building manager told you that you can pretty much move back already, but there’s no water yet, so you will still have to stay at Jungkook’s place for the last time. At least for another night.
Speaking of him, when you step out on your porch, you see him in front of his own unit, back turned to you, opening his door.
“Hey,” you call. Jungkook turns on his heel, and he smiles as he sees you.
“Hey,” He greets, his hand pausing on the door. Jungkook gives you his undivided attention as he looks at you. “Your apartment’s fine now?”
You nod happily, grinning widely. “Yeah. But I have no water yet. They’re turning it on tomorrow.” You saunter towards his direction and stop beside him. Pointing to the paper bags in his hands, you ask, “What’s that?”
Jungkook lifts them up. “Soju and Midday Miso take-out.” Then, hesitantly, he looks at you curiously. “Do you drink?”
That prompts you to laugh.
“Of course. Are you drinking tonight?”
He nods his head. “Yeah. I was gonna ask you to drink with me… but if you’re not up for it, I’ll just be in my room.”
You cock your head to the side.
“What’s the occasion?”
Jungkook chuckles. “Nothing. Just thought I could loosen up.”
You nod in understanding.
You think about asking him how work’s been, but decide against it, not wanting to pry in case he doesn’t want to talk about any of it.
As you both enter his apartment, it’s almost so domesticated how you take off your shoes and put them in the rack in the threshold. Jungkook wears his black sliders while you wear your baby blue ones. Following him into the living room, it’s almost wild to see yourself being so familiar with his place already.
“Where can we watch The X-Files?” Jungkook asks suddenly after he set the bags on the table, going for the remote and turning on the TV.
You look at him in surprise, not expecting him to ask that.
You answer nonetheless, and Jungkook clicks on the show once it shows up on the screen.
“Do you really want to start with the pilot episode?” You chuckle when he hovers over it.
Jungkook grins. “I enjoyed it last night. Maybe this could be a new favorite.”
“Woah,” you breathed, shaking your head. “Do you know how much I have to convince Jimin to watch this show?”
“Jimin doesn’t like shows. I wanted him to watch Suits but he said he couldn’t stand Harvey Specter – which is fair.”
“Oh my god, that’s also what he told me when I recommended Suits!” You say. You narrow your eyes at him, excited about the information. “So… you like Suits?”
Jungkook nods. “Sort of like a guilty pleasure? I used to watch it a lot in college. My roommate studied law and started telling me about how inaccurate it was, but it’s fun regardless,” He says with a shrug. “Sue me.”
“I know, right! People always wanna be smart about procedural dramas, but I think it’s just camp they can’t comprehend,” You shake your head, feeling a certain high bubble inside you. You lean your elbows on the coffee table. “Okay, okay, thoughts on Jessica Pearson?”
Jungkook grins. “A dream.”
You breathe a sigh of relief.
“I’m so glad you have the correct opinion.”
Jungkook laughs at that, and you begin to eat the take-out he bought, The X-Files playing on the big screen before you.
“You went home early today,” you comment as you take the shot glass he offers you.
A few minutes has passed already and you’re beginning to open the bottles of soju, Midday Miso take-out boxes all finished.
“Managed to finish early tonight. That’s probably why I wanted to drink,” Jungkook says, tipping his head back to drink from his own bottle. “Also, it’s your last day here.”
You nod. With a teasing smile, you jab, “Are you going to miss me?”
Jungkook looks at you briefly.
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?” You ask incredulously, feigning hurt.
He chuckles. “I liked your little dance in the kitchen last Sunday.”
Your lips part, recalling that time when you reheated some pizza during the night. As far as you were concerned, Jungkook was in his bedroom at that time!
“You saw that?” You say, embarrassed.
Jungkook must’ve noticed, because he chuckles and begins to sound comforting when he says, “Some part of it, yeah. Megan Thee Stallion would love to perform with you, I think.”
“Oh my god, no,” You giggle, covering your face with your hands because if he caught you during that part, it means he saw you trying to throw it back. “Yeah, I think I’m packing my things right now.”
Jungkook laughs, and his eyes crinkle as he does so, overjoyed at your tactics.
“I thought you wanted to drink with me?”
You squint your eyes. “Just because I feel sorry for pushing you off the couch this morning.”
He shakes his head, still chuckling. “Yeah, that hurt. I think I have a bump on my head right now.”
You stop, eyes widening. “Seriously?”
Jungkook presses his lips together and nods. You grow concerned, ready to lean over the table to check the back of his head, but as you do so, Jungkook makes a sound of stifling his laugh and you realize he’s fucking with you.
“That’s so mean.” you say, going back to your side and pouting at him.
“Not meaner than you pushing me off the couch.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
“Ugh, I’m sorry. You just surprised me, 's all!”
Jungkook laughs and nods his head. “I know, I know. I’m sorry about that. I have a habit of being able to sleep anywhere.”
You scrunch your face. “Me too.”
And then a beat of silence.
Jungkook tips his head back for another sip of his alcohol. When he looks at you again, a gentle smile is playing on his lips.
“I had a good night sleep, though. Did you?”
He looks at you with something in his eyes – something soft and gentle – his gaze making the hair on your nape stand and your cheeks burn.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
The night continues to envelope your surroundings and as time passes by, the empty bottles of soju multiply.
You’ve always had a high tolerance for alcohol – and soju, in particular, is generally not too strong for you personally. With one bottle in, you don’t feel hammered just yet. There’s a daze at the back of your head that you’re starting to feel, though. One and a half is your limit, sometimes two – you’ve had that down since college.
Jungkook seems to share the same trait, it seems like. You noticed he’s on his second one, and even though his cheeks are starting to get painted red, he still speaks with you like he’s a hundred percent conscious and not like alcohol’s hit his system already.
“It’s so hot,” you say, popping open the first two buttons of your shirt. Jungkook’s coat has long been disposed on the couch, and his ties are loosened, with the long sleeves of his dress shirt pushed to his elbow, showing his tattoos.
“Should I adjust the AC?” Jungkook asks, looking at you as you gather your hair up in a ponytail.
You manage to secure it even without a tie and answer him, “No, it’s fine.”
When you feel like you can breathe again, you look at Jungkook. As you think about what to say next, you giggle lightly.
“Let’s have some fun with these,” You point to the empty bottle of soju. Jungkook quirks his brow, which prompts you to continue. “Let’s play spin the bottle. When it points at you, you have to answer some questions. If you don’t want to, then you’ll have to drink.”
Jungkook snorts. “Truth or dare? Really?”
You roll your eyes. “No, not truth or dare. Just truth because I’m sophisticated like that. Besides, are you going to entertain me if I dare you to wear a rainbow suit for work tomorrow?”
“This is your idea of fun?” Jungkook says, teasing you. Playful with a boyish grin.
You shrug. “I mean, it’s quite fun, actually. But I know about how thirty-year-olds get. If it’s past your bedtime, then…” you glance at the door to his bedroom.
Jungkook bursts out in laughter.
“You like making it sound like I’m sixty, don’t you?”
“Are you?” You pout.
Jungkook chuckles, although relenting to your game proposition.
“Alright…”
You do a little shoulder dance which makes Jungkook shake his head. As you spin the bottle, it stops and points at him. You let out a little sound of enthusiasm.
“Okay. What’s that mean?” You ask. Jungkook looks confused as he tries to see what you’re looking at. His arm. “That flower tattoo – or if it even has a meaning.”
“Oh,” Jungkook utters, realizing. He lifts up his right arm and twists it so that the flower tattoo is within both your sight. There, you see a full view of the flower drawing tattooed in orange ink. You find yourself staring at it as Jungkook starts to speak, “It’s a tiger lily. My birth flower. It means…” You can see Jungkook hesitate for a little while, and you’re just about to take back your question when he continues to say, “It means please love me.”
“Wow.” You gasp. “That’s… so pretty.”
Jungkook caresses his forearm, staring quite lovingly at the art. “I know. My tattoo artist did a really good job.”
He takes it to himself to spin the bottle again, and this time, it points at you.
“Well… do you have a tattoo?” Jungkook asks, and it’s obvious he meant to tease.
You nod your head. His playful smile drops.
“Are you serious?”
You raise your brow at him. “Sorry. Only one question gets entertained.”
He clicks his tongue playfully but then begins to spin the bottle one more time. When it points at you again, he gives you a smirk.
“Can I see your tattoo if you’re saying you have one?”
You scrunch your face, cocking your head to the side.
“Hm. I don’t think so. It’s under my boob. So.”
Jungkook stills, and you watch as his eyes trail down from your face down to your collar – although he did it quite subtly.
“Oh.”
You grin. “Yeah, “oh”,” you chuckle. When he shakes his head, you tell him, “What?” You look at him weird, regardless of the smile on your lips. He stares right back at you, and you narrow your eyes at him. “Ohh, I see. You think I’m lying.”
“No, I’m not,” he scoffs. “I just thought…”
“You just thought what?”
“I just thought you wouldn’t have one. Or if you did, it’d be a like a small thing on the leg or something. I don’t know.” He shrugs, still smiling.
You grin. “Interesting insight.”
“Nevermind that.” Jungkook rolls his eyes, spinning the bottle again.
When the rotation stills at his direction, you clap a little and put your elbows on the coffee table.
Your next question sounds stupid in your head, but you let it out anyway.
“What’s your ideal type?” You ask.
“Oh, are we doing that?” Jungkook says, sounding intrigued. “Are you going to ask me about my first kiss next?”
You snort. “This feels so high school. But answer my question.”
“Yes, ma’am,” He playfully gives you a salute. You couldn’t help but giggle. “Okay, well, I like women who are smart and… funny,” Jungkook says, and when he looks at you, you move back a little. With a soft smile, he adds, “And pretty.”
You break the eye contact. Raising your brow, you nod your head. “Pretty women. Like Kang Heesu, right?”
Jungkook looks surprised when he hears the name.
“How do you know her?”
“How can I not? Jimin’s mother has been trying to set him up with her for months now.” You shrug.
Jungkook chuckles, as if he knows exactly what you’re talking about.
“Yeah. You’re right – not about the part that she’s my ideal type, though.”
You can’t help but let out a scoff.
“That’s such a cop-out answer, Jungkook.”
He looks at you incredulously, chuckling as he says, “What? It’s not a cop-out, it’s the truth.”
“You’re awfully close with her. I heard from my coworkers you’re both dating.” You raise a brow at him.
It’s true. Words are starting to get around the office that Jungkook and Heesu are more than just collaborators.
Of course, you know to ignore that. Not because you want to be in denial or anything – but because you just don’t think it is actually true.
But maybe poking fun at it will get you the confirmation. Or whatever. It doesn’t matter.
Jungkook laughs at your previous words, though, as if you just told him a big joke.
“God, no,” he shakes his head, as if he couldn’t believe it. “They’re really saying that?” You nod your head, your lips pressed into a thin line. “I ought to make everybody know we’re just working together. You know about the project the company has in collaboration with Kang Tech, right?”
“Yeah.”
“There you go,” Jungkook chuckles. “I’m not dating Kang Heesu.”
The words feel a bit different in your ears. Paired with the way he looked at you as he said it, he sounded as though he was… almost assuring you.
But of what?
You shake off the idea in your head.
“Okay. Next one.” you interrupt the silence to change the subject. You curse in your head when the bottle stops at you.
“Your turn. What’s your ideal type?” Jungkook asks as if his tongue is just itching to ask you that. You know he’s just excited to get back at you.
You think about it for a moment, though, and you find you don’t really know what to say.
It’s not a thought you ponder over a lot. The guys that you’ve been with were so… different from each other.
“I—I’m not sure,” you shake your head, genuine.
Jungkook points at the shot glass. “New rule. I’ll count to ten and if you don’t answer, you drink.”
You glare at him; he just gives you a grin.
“I really don’t know! I mean, my past relationships are so different from each other,” you say, pouting. “But— okay. I guess I like guys who are… confident,” You look at Jungkook and then let your mind float. “And I guess I also like somebody who’s…” You watch as he leans in closer to wait for your next words. Your feel blood rushing to your cheeks as you finish up with, “Attentive. I like good listeners. Yeah.”
“Ah,” Jungkook nods. And then, he adds, “Is Shin Taemu from the IT department a good listener, then?”
Your brows furrow. “Shin Taemu?” He nods. That earns a laugh from you. “No, we’re friends.”
“Friends?” Jungkook asks curiously.
“Well, we – uh – did date. Didn’t work out. So. We’re only friends now.”
“Date, as in, a long relationship?” His eyes are so full of genuine curiosity that you cower away from them.
You shake your head at his question. “No, no – not long relationship, it wasn’t like that. I meant date as in – dinner date. Once.” You look at the shot glass and down it because of the sudden nerves that enter you. “We’re doing this game wrong.”
Jungkoon chuckles at the way you drink another glass. He mirrors your action, though, and ask, “How so? We’re questioning each other.”
“Yeah, but it’s too many questions!” You complain, jutting your lips into a pout.
“You said you only wanted truth, so there goes your questions,” Jungkook says. You roll your eyes, which makes him laugh. “Okay, just so I can amuse you, I’ll do a dare if it points at me, and you’ll do one if it stops at you. Deal?”
When you nod, Jungkook spins the bottle. He did it quite forcefully that the bottle takes a longer time to stop. You both watch keenly as it begins to slow down. Nervous, you pray it doesn’t stop at you, and you let out a sigh of relief when it finally points to Jungkook.
Jungkook shakes his head when you let out a contained, “Yes!”
“I dare you to…” you trail off, watching as he looks at you curiously. “Let me pluck your brows.”
“What?” Jungkook asks incredulously.
“A promise is a promise.” You remind him.
“Like all of them?”
“What? Of course no!” You chuckle, seeing the genuine panic in his eyes.
“Oh.”
“You silly,” You say, laughing at him. “Not right now, though. I actually feel like I’m about to pass out. Oh my god, I have to tend to a hung-over tomorrow.” You let your face fall into your hands and stifle a groan.
“I’ll cook us some porridge or something, don’t worry.” Jungkook says. Curiously, he asks, “Why do you want to pluck my brows?”
You stare at him, and then focus your eyes onto his brows.
Pouting, you let your shoulders deflate as you sigh. “They’re so thick.”
“What?” Jungkook lets out, laughing incredulously. “I’m so confused.”
“You wouldn’t get it.”
“Okay… well, would you let me pluck your brows?”
You try to think about it.
“No,” you shake your head. You add, “Unless you’re flirting with me.”
Jungkook stops. And then raises a brow. “Unless I’m flirting with you…”
You snap your eyes to look at him. Mirroring his brow, you ask, “Are you flirting with me?”
“Maybe,” Jungkook looks at you, lips tilted into a barely-there smirk that suddenly makes your cheeks burn with heat. “Do you like it?”
It takes you a while to answer, processing his words. You don’t know if he’s joking or what. Is this just his usual teasing? It feels different this time.
But why are you denying it again to yourself, though? You may be stupid sometimes, but you know his teasing gets a little… borderline flirty. You’re scared to ask him about it outright, though – afraid to be faced with the possible truth that it’s just your head playing mind-tricks for you; that Jungkook, with his teasing, is not flirty at all and you’re just flattering yourself to think about it that way.
But right now, his question feels real.
If he is flirting with you… do you like it?
You pour a drink into the shotglass and down it quickly. You feel your vision starting to get a little hazy as you put it down the table.
Jungkook realizes what you just did, and then throw his head back to laugh.
“Now, that was a cop-out.” He says, pointing to the trick that you just did.
You give him a smirk. “No rules about not answering except down a drink.”
Jungkook chuckles. “Smart girl.”
He watches as you stand up, but when you trip over the carpet, he’s quick to follow and go over to your direction to hold your wrist, his arm going around your waist to guide you to stand upright.
“You okay?” He asks. When you look up, your faces are just a hair's breadth away.
“Hm.” You hum, blinking your eyes up at him. You find it’s because your lids are starting to get heavy.
“Be careful.” Jungkook says, but he doesn’t let go of your waist, nor your wrist.
You stand there in the middle of the living room with that position, and weirdly enough, you feel like you’re both glued on it.
You can’t move – or don’t want to. You wish you want to. But you don’t, and it’s why you let Jungkook’s fingers trail softly to your waist.
“You look real sleepy,” he comments – whispers, more like, his bated breath hitting your skin.
“I am a bit dazy.” You say, finding yourself indulging in his touch.
Somehow, Jungkook never makes a move to get away even when you’re already steady on both feet. You feel that fading away so soon though, your knees starting to feel like they’re about to buckle at the way Jungkook’s eyes bore deep into your own. You feel a sort of heightened sense within your body, his hand on your back making something in you tingle.
It’s so intimate – the position. Jungkook looms over you with his much bigger frame and with his support on your back, you can just let yourself fall back.
Can you, though? Are you sure he’s going to catch you?
“You do look a little dazy,” Jungkook comments, but his eyes have traveled down to your face, and you can see them stop at your lips.
That makes them part.
You see Jungkook’s adam’s apple bobbing at the action.
“I do feel dazy,” you say, parroting back his words. Maybe they’re coming off slurred. You don’t know. You find you don’t care.
Jungkook’s lips tilt into a gentle smile. Soft like his demeanor. Soft like his arm that somehow found a way to tighten its hold around you even though you don’t need it. But it’s Jungkook though, and as much as you deny it even to yourself – you do like his touch.
“Yeah, you told me so.” His voice becomes an octave lower. His hands start to rub your clothed waist, and the ministrations of his thumb distract you a bit.
You roam your eyes around his face – noting the scar on his cheek which story you want to know so bad. When you trail you eyes down to his lips, you see the mole under it. You don’t think you were being subtle at all – it’s quite obvious that you’re just staring.
And you know Jungkook notices.
“Jungkook,” you breathed out, calling him about nothing in particular.
His only response is a small, gentle hum.
A beat of silence, and you feel Jungkook’s face leaning closer to yours.
You don’t make a move away from him, just let your legs stay where they are, letting Jungkook slowly pull you to him. You can tell his movements are slower than usual – like he’s testing the waters, searching for something in your eyes, quietly asking if it’s okay – if what he’s about to do is okay.
It makes your heart hammer against your chest – his breathing becoming more audible in your own ears. His mouth reeks of the soju you both drank earlier, but you’ve always liked the smell of it, especially when it comes with a man as breathtaking as him.
You feel the tip of his nose touching yours, your chest pressing against his own, his hand travelling from your waist to the back of your head.
When Jungkook leans down to close the gap, you swerve your face just in time to have his lips press against your hair instead.
“I’m sleepy.” You say quietly, a nervous lilt to your voice. You duck your head a little lower, laying your face on his chest and bury it with his scent.
You can feel Jungkook freeze in his position, taken aback by the sudden turn of events. You hope he doesn’t feel the way your heart goes abnormal in your chest with such proximity – but right now, all you want to do is hide. Hide your face away from him because if he sees you, he’ll know exactly what you’re thinking.
He’ll know exactly the effect he has on you.
It takes a few seconds of silence before Jungkook comes back to you.
“Hm,” He hums, and you feel his hand letting go of your wrist to wrap around your waist, squeezing for a brief moment. Jungkook’s other hand cradles your head to his chest, swiping his hand against your hair in a repeated manner, and with the way he rests his chin on the crown of your head, you feel comfort in the whole thing. “We should sleep.”
“Yeah…” you trail off, and you can just feel your lids getting heavier at the remark.
“Yeah?”
“Hm.”
“I’ll take the couch. Do you want to shower first?” You shake your head against his chest. You feel it vibrating when he chuckles. “Okay.”
“My body feels like jelly.” You say, and you feel that to be actually true.
“Is that code for “carry me to your bed, Jungkook”?”
You’re thankful your face is buried in his chest as you smile widely.
“Do you want it to be?”
“I don’t mind.”
You nod. “Good. I think I’ll get alcohol poisoning tomorrow.”
You feel Jungkook lifting his chin off your head as he sounds scold-y when he says, “Don’t joke like that.”
You giggle against his chest.
“Carry me before I pass out.”
Jungkook snorts. “Ohh. Bossy.”
“It’s my last day here. I deserve some slack.” You grumble.
“Fine.”
Tumblr media
TAGLIST: @mortal-body-timelesssoul @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @lachimolalajeon @miniesjams32 @parkinglot-nights @peterstarkchrishiddleston @aznstoner @chuberry22 @tae-hibiscus @jungkooksmytype
note: pls check your account settings if you are enabling ur profile to be tagged.
Tumblr media
all right reserved © awrkive, 2024. no reposts, modification, and copying allowed. if you enjoy my work/s and have the extra means, please consider supporting me on ko-fi <3
733 notes · View notes
spacedace · 6 months
Text
Still thinking about the Social Worker Jazz concept that @gilbirda posted about and it's slowly turning into a full Anger Management fic send help
-
Jason at length - much longer than it really should have taken really - set the resume down.
The new Social Worker’s resume. Because she was there, in his office, trying to convince him to hire her as a member of his criminal organization.
Crime Alley’s new social worker. A bright eyed Midwestern transplant from some tiny speck of a place that only qualified as a city because there was nothing bigger in a hundred miles in any direction to claim otherwise. The new social worker who had a Psy D. and three masters degrees and who had graduated Valedictorian. The one that had high paying private gigs lined up all over the country with the offering companies fighting over her.
The one who had, apparently, decided to take a shit job in Gotham’s shoddy social services department instead. The one that got kicked to Crime Alley - which was its own division despite technically being a small neighborhood in the grand scheme of things - within her first month. Supposedly for the sole purpose of scaring her off or getting her killed for all the questions she was asking and secret dealings she was sticking her nose into.
That social worker.
“I’m gonna need you to run this by me again.” Jason said, never so grateful for the voice modulator in his helmet as he was in that moment. It stripped out the bewilderment that had bled through into his words and made him sound stoic instead.
“I’d like to work for you.” The social worker - one Dr. Jasmine Nightingale - repeated primly. Back straight, clothes neat - if skewing more on the librarian side of professional - expression confident and hopeful. Completely and utterly oblivious of how fucking insane she sounded. “I was told that you’re the person in charge of Crime Alley.”
He resisted the urge to scrub at his face. It’d just look weird with his helmet on and not do anything to actually settle him in that moment anyway. “I understood that part.”
“Look, Doc,” She earned a doctorate and she was crazy enough to waltz into the office of one of Gotham’s most powerful Crime Lords, he’d be respectful about using her proper title at least, even if he suspected she was ten pounds of crazy in a five pound bag. “You’re going to have to tell me why. I was under the impression the only reason you ended up dumped on our end of the city ws because you wouldn’t play ball. But now you want to sign up for my crew?”
Nightingale frowned a little at that.
“Is that what people are saying?”
“What else are they gonna say?” Jason answered, leaning back in his seat, “Head of the department only dumps Crime Alley on folks he don’t like. And everyone knows he doesn’t like anyone that can’t or won’t play his game by his rules.”
“Alright, well. I’ll give you that.” Nightingale conceded, “Payne doesn’t like me. The feeling’s mutual. But for the record,” She added giving him a wry smile, as if sharing wry smiles with Red Hood was just something people did, “I asked to be assigned to the Park Row and Bowery neighborhoods.”
“You wanted to work here.”
“Yes.”
“Bullshit.”
Nightingale laughed. It was a bright sound. Not especially clear or pretty, but warm and welcoming in a way that carefully calculated giggles or overdone guffaws couldn’t be. Something with real and honest amusement in it, that encouraged those nearby to laugh along. Not the kind of involuntary, nervous chuckling people tended to slip into when they thought they had pissed someone that scared them off.
She just wasn’t intimidated by him at all, was she?
Behind his helmet, Jason found himself smiling. Just a bit.
“I’m serious.” She assured, blue-green eyes meeting the dark stare of his helmet without a moment of hesitation. He watched as she brushed a lock of her bright red hair behind her ear and out of the way. She’d woven it all into a practical, neat braid but a few sly pieces had snuck out to bounce around her. Gilding her quiet professionalism with a playful charm that worked well with her academia but make it cottagecore kindergarten teacher aesthetic.
“I’ll admit, Gotham wasn’t part of my plan when I first graduated. Time and choices take you funny places sometimes.” She plucked an invisible bit of lint off her soft blue cardigan, not nervous but absent as her gaze went distant for a moment. Thinking back on the events that had led her to his fine city. In a blink, those sharp eyes were back to focusing entirely on him. “But Gotham is where I am now, and I want to help.”
She looked at him, a serious, determined expression settling easily on her face. “The city as a whole has so much chaos and crime breaking out all the time.” No censure or horror in her voice, just a neutral fact to be observed. “But where the rest of the city has millions of dollars poured into it by various foundations or charities run by the Waynes, Park Row is largely ignored.”
Jason watched as steeliness sharpened her gaze, the blue-green shifting from the shine of a bird’s wing to the warning hue of something poisonous and deadly. “No one deserves that. No one.” Her chin tilted up, proud but not imperious. “So yes, I want to work here. There are people in Park Row and the Bowery who need help and I refuse to let any of them feel like they are going to be ignored.”
Jason considered her.
Really looked at her. Pealing back his initial off handed impression of her as some clueless transplant in over her head with no idea of what she was doing or what she was poking her nose into to find the real woman beneath. Her confident poise, her clear unshakable belief, her unflinching willingness to look danger in the eye and not blink. The tense curve of her frown, the lines of pain at the corners of her eyes, the simmering anger beneath it all. There was an edge to her, too. Something sharp and dangerously well hidden by the cardigan and folksy charm of her accent.
It was personal for the woman before him, Jason realized. Maybe not Crime Alley specifically, but something about the whole situation. The treatment the neighborhood and its residents received from the city at large, from those even beyond it.
Crime Alley wasn’t a place that received much in the way of charitable thought. The average joe with their house in Somerset and job at some corporate shithole hating every second of their life but thinking at least I don’t live in Crime Alley. Those asshole hoity-toites in city hall throwing money around equally between shit that’d get them re-elected and their off-shore slush funds in the Caymens doing their damn level best to pretend the black mark on the other end of the city just didn’t exist. Bruce, flooding the entire city with charitable programs and carefully constructed infrastructures shying away from the manifested grief and trauma that was the place he watched his parents get murdered.
For the most part no one from outside of the Alley gave a shit about the Alley other than as a place to avoid at all costs. And most of the time those natives that manages to claw their way out into better and brighter lives didn’t ever turn to glance back. Orpheus could have learned a thing or to from an ex-Alley Kid who managed to eek out a steady 9-to-5 and move to Burnley.
And something about that seemed to piss Dr. Jasmine Nightingale Psy. D right the fuck off.
He could see why Bill said he liked her enough to let her in.
“Alright.” He said, tilting his head, watching the woman seated across from him carefully, “Still doesn’t explain what you’re doing here. Why you’re trying to get on my payroll.”
“I’m not trying to get on your payroll.” She said, some of the glinting edge softening, but the steel remaining. Strong and unyielding. “I’m trying to get into your community outreach program.”
Jason thanked god and all the saints once again for the gift of his helmet. That baby had saved his ass more times than he could count both by keeping his head in one piece and keeping his stupefied expressions wrapped up and hidden from view. Dr. Nightingale was one hell of a woman to make him have to rely on that fact twice in one conversation.
“Wasn’t aware that was something I had.”
Nightingale, not fortunate enough to have a full face covering helmet of her own, had nothing to hide her stupefied expression behind. Jason had a feeling she might have removed it to make sure he saw even if she did though. She looked like she had caught him eating glue like it was a cheese stick.
“Yes you do.” She said, sounding deeply confused but unshakable confident in what she was saying. “I’ve seen it. The soup kitchens, the shelters, the collection boxes for donating old clothes, the after school day care.” Nightingale ticked off on her fingers, “I’ve lived here for less than two weeks and I’ve lost count of all the things I’ve seen setup to help people struggling in the area that I’ve been very reliably informed you and your organization are behind.”
Oh.
Those.
“Those aren’t part of some community outreach program.” He said, “We are simply locals offering services for our neighbors.”
He watched as her caught-him-eating-glue expression shifted into one that said she’d stumbled upon him licking electrical sockets for a mid-day pick-me-up instead. He had to give it to her, the woman was not afraid to let one of the most dangerous men in the city know she thought he was a fucking idiot.
“Let me see if I understand this right.” She said, and he appreciated that there wasn’t any kind of condescension in her voice, even though she very clearly thought he’d been dropped on his head as a baby. Possibly from the top of a three story building. “You have a large group of people working together to plan, organize and execute multiple services in your area - your community, if you will - that provide aid and support to those that otherwise would not receive it. Reaching out with your available time and resources to offer these services, that you provide. For free.”
Alright, Jason got it. He had stumbled ass backwards into creating a community outreach program. But he wasn’t just going to let her think she won this one. He was Red Hood, he had a reputation to uphold here.
“What makes you think any of that is free?” He tilted his head at just the right angle, the one that cast shadows across the planes of his helmet and made him look hell-touched and terrifying. “Just because we don’t charge money, doesn’t mean there isn’t a price to pay.”
Dr. Nightingale, dressed like a damn kindergarten teacher, laughed at him.
1K notes · View notes
Note
Regarding the post about Marinette being punished for trusting people and the response to it, this is something I always have trouble explaining because it sounds callous? But fictional characters aren't people. It's not that their lives just so happen to get in the way leading to something bad happened the writers decided that should happen, and it's important that you stop and ask WHY this happens. If the camera is "on" per se, people assume it's relevant and will tie into something larger. So like if the camera is on and all we see is Alya revealing her identity and then the result is she's outed in the same way she was in Heroes Day, the audience naturally concludes it's connected and thus realizes the lesson is either "Alya learns she shouldn't share her identity" OR "Marinette learns she shouldn't trust people" or both.
Secret identities are a great example of this phenomenon. We're NOT shown every time a villain's plan is foiled because they didn't know the heroe's identity, we ARE shown every time a heroe's identity causes friction in their lives. As such, large parts of the audience think of secret identites as inconveniences because that's what's shown (not just in Miraculous Ladybug, in tons of other shows)
Like you are supposed to make connections in Television about what's being shown to you that no one would make in real life (or at the very least no one SHOULD make in real life) because there's a limited space to tell the story and the audience is assuming the writers aren't wasting our time.
If these were real people it would be unreasonable to say because people have their own lives Marinette can't trust them, but in a story where Marinette is the main character who is explicitly always supposed that's. An accurate way to read the story!
And I also understand that this is a very boring construction if you're making headcanons or thinking about these characters! But that's a different lens, it doesn't make the broader writing lens invalid. You're speaking different languages at that point.
Anyway I hope that helps someone, that's my two cents
You summed it up perfectly! There's a ton of valid criticism to be had of Miraculous, but you can tell from the narrative framing that almost all of it comes down to writing choices and not things that are supposed to be seen as in-universe issues even though a lot of fans treat them as such. It's really weird to see things like people complaining about everything revolving around Marinette as if it's a personal flaw of hers and not the result of her being the main character in a fictional world. "Main Character Syndrome" literally pulls its name from the fact that this is how main characters work in a lot of media. It's a flaw when a real person does it, but in terms of story telling, it's extremely normal - and often good story telling - to have everything revolve around your main character or a core cast.
The issue with Miraculous is that they chose a lot of poor conflicts if they wanted Marinette to be the one and only main character, but that's not her fault. She didn't decide to have the rules around identities make no sense. The writers did. She didn't decide to make the main villain Adrien's dad while also keeping Adrien from being involved in the story. The writers did. The list goes on and on and, because none of it reflects badly on Marinette in the writers' eyes, the show doesn't act like Marinette is in the wrong. Remember, these are the same writers who think that Derision was a great episode that added depth to Marinette instead of destroying her character and making her look unhinged. Their judgement is clearly a little skewed.
While the writers love to make bad plot choices, they are generally using proper story telling language to make those choices, which is why I can tell you how characters' actions are intended to be read. The Rena Furtive and Nino example is a great one because it allows me to show that the writers do understand how to set things up. In fact, once they've decided that they're going to do a thing, they pretty much always set it up at a basic level. It's rarely spectacular and often frustrating, but it's never shocking.
In Rocketear, Alya promises Marinette that Nino will never learn about Rena Furtive. The episode then ends with her breaking that promise via the following exchange:
Alya: (sighs) I'm still Rena Rouge. (Nino gasps.) But now I'm in hiding and that's why Ladybug asked me not to tell anyone. Nino: But why are you telling me if no one's supposed to know? Is Ladybug cool with this? Alya: I can't hide it from you, because I love you, Nino, and we share everything.
Look at how this confession is presented. Look at what the dialogue focuses on. When Marinette confessed her identity to Alya, it was all about the confession and supporting Marinette. There was no discussion of this being a problem for Chat Noir or anything like that because - in the writers' eyes - that wasn't a problem for some reason. This is why Chat Noir almost instantly absolves Ladybug of blame once he finds out about the identity reveal (see: Hack-San.) The writers didn't want it to be an issue so it wasn't:
Ladybug: I'm really sorry, Cat Noir. I should've told you. I mean, if I found out that you told someone about your secret identity, I'd... probably be upset, too. I'm really sorry I hurt your feelings. Cat Noir: You didn't hurt my feelings. You did everything right
But when Alya confesses her identity to Nino, the conversation is not just about her confession. It's about her confession and how she's not supposed to do this. That's why Nino's response is not loving support. Instead, he asks if this is a good idea and if Ladybug knows.
These things are getting focused on because the writers are telling you that this is a bad thing. It's supposed to feel ominous. When I first watched Rocketear, I assumed that the season was going to end with Gabriel getting the fox off of Alya due to Nino because that was an obvious way to raise the stakes and they'd just heavily implied that Nino knowing would be a bad thing. I was, unfortunately, right. The only on screen consequence of Nino knowing is that he outs Alya to everyone in an incredibly forced series of events (see: Strikeback):
(Ryuko successfully prevents the Roue de Paris from hitting them, yet, it flies to the direction where Rena Furtive is. This causes Carapace to panic.) Carapace: Rena! (takes out his shield) Shell-ter! (Carapace's superpower successfully prevents the Ferris wheel from hitting Rena Furtive on top of the Tour Montparnasse. But the information of Rena Furtive's active status shocks the heroes, as well as Shadow Moth.) The heroes: Rena?! Shadow Moth: (from the top of the Eiffel Tower) She's still active?
Of course the Ferris Wheel goes straight for Alya's hiding spot and of course Nino screams her name before casting his power and of course the villain overhears it. It's all so forced and unnatural, which should make it glaringly obvious how much the writers wanted this to happen. This wasn't something they were kind of forced to do because it made sense for the narrative and they wanted to tell a good story. Instead, they wrote an awkward series of events because they really, really, really wanted Nino knowing to be a bad thing that outs Alya so that Marinette loses all of the miraculous even though none of this makes much sense.
How the hell did Gabriel hear Nino's shout from so far away? Is he able to overhear everything the heroes are saying? How does Nino even know that Alya is hiding there? And since when was a Ferris Wheel a threat to these guys? Your girlfriend is a magical girl and she's in her magical girl form, dude. You could drop a building on her and she'd be fine, a thing you have to know because this scene literally goes on to have Chat Noir go flying into a building, hitting it so hard the cement literally cracks, and no one really cares. I guess it's fine if Adrien is a punching bag, but Alya must be protected at all costs...
Anyway, while the above series of events was annoying, none of it was surprising. In fact, it would have all be perfectly predictable even if Alya outing herself was that treated as a more neutral event. Her choice leading to bad things falls perfectly in line with a truly bizarre running theme in the show: outing your identity to the person you love romantically is a bad thing that leads to bad consequences. That's why Chat Blanc and Ephemeral ended the world and why Nino knowing cost Ladybug the fox and why the character they call Joan of Arc has to give up her miraculous to be with her love and why the Kwami's have this absolutely asinine dialogue in Kwamis' Choice:
Plagg: Sugarcube! Having to force them to choose between love and their mission is just awful! Maybe Master Fu was wrong to choose them. Tikki: No, they’re made for each other. Love is what gives them their strength. Plagg: But the impossible part of that love is destroying them, and I know a thing or two about destruction. Tikki: (sighs heavily) What can we do? Plagg: We must free them of that impossible choice. We must… free them of us.
This is the voice of the author telling you that outing the identities is not and never will be a good choice for the love square. Never mind that Alya is allowed to know Marinette's identity or that Gabriel finding out is what actually ended the world in the alternate timelines or that Felix outted himself in public but is still wielding or that freaking Gabriel was allowed to know half of the temp heroes' identities while they were still actively wielding. For some reason, those things don't matter to the narrative, probably because romantic love wasn't involved. The "identity reveals are a bad thing" rule only seems to apply when romantic love is a key element to the point where it's a reoccurring theme in this supposed power of love show.
503 notes · View notes
minart-was-taken · 2 months
Text
The wild references to Finland in Honkai Star Rail
Hello, in this post I'm going to go over the various references to Finland in Honkai Star Rail (Also touching a little on HI3) and explaining them the best I can so that non-finns can understand how hilariously delightful they are.
_
Tumblr media
Starting with a funny one: Welt Yang.
The man is canonically 1/2 finnish, 1/4th chinese and 1/4th german according to sources I dont understand.
The way this is represented in Honkai Star Rail comes in one intentional form and one that may be an accident but I love it anyway:
1.
Welt's given name is Joachim Nokianvirtanen, a name that is utterly hilarious to a finn like me. Why? Well Nokianvirtanen is not a surname anyone here would ever have. Virtanen is a real surname, but for some reason Mihoyo decided slap Nokia in the front of it??
The name translates to "Nokia's rapids." Which adds to the funniness because yes Nokia is an actual place in Finland and not just the brand, but it is also very much the brand.
(Also Joachim is not a finnish name even if many finns are christian.)
This is the equivalant of naming an american character Jesus McDonaldslake.
2.
Welt's hair colour! A lot of people imagine blond and blue eyes when imagining a finn, but that's not actually accurate to the statistics. The most common hair colour here is in fact "Maantien harmaa." Translating to country road grey. Sometimes they leave out the word grey or replace it with blond. The colour is known as dirty blond or pale brown in english speaking countries 👍 This is less funny and just a cute detail.
_
Secondly we'll be going over Sampo Koski, a man many know to have a very finnish name.
BUT FIRST Fun backround info: I didn't know Sampo was in this game when I first started playing, so when he showed up and suddenly dropped finnish words at me I was utterly jumpscared.
Finland is very rarely referenced in media outside of our country, so most of us are NOT used to hearing anything about our home in media.
Furthermore there's actually a meme about this very thing that everyone in the country knows: Torilla Tavataan. This translates to "Lets meet at the marketplace" which is referring to the idea that when something massively cool happens we should gather together and celebrate.
The finns REALLY want to be acknowledged by the wider world lol
Tumblr media
Anyway back to Sampo. His name is actually something I could totally see a real finn having, although his first name is a little out there.
Sampo is an item from finnish* mythology that was forged by a super capable smith with the help of his whole village. The item is golden with multiple spouts that produce valuable things like flour, gold and I believe... salt? You can find more about the item online.
Koski meanwhile means a river rapid. Uhm, lotsa water themed names here, huh!
Nothing that funny going on with his references to be honest. I can even say the voice actor did an amazing job pronouncing his name correctly.
_
Yunli's companion quest!
This is the newest batch of references I've ran into, but if I or anyone else finds more I'll be updating this list :]
In Yunli's companion quest we meet... Paavo. His name is Paavo--
Tumblr media
This NPC introduces himself as a traveler from far away who's come to deliver a sword from his homeland back to the Xianzhou where it was originally forged. Here's why he made me giggle uncontrollably every moment he was on screen.
1.
Paavo is considered kind of a joke name, very comparable to naming someone Bob in america. The way NPC's referred to him sounded like "Mr. Bob" to me. It was so funny
Tumblr media
2.
He is from the PLANET KALEVALA?? SAFlJ LJ ???
Kalevala is the national epic of Finland* and tells stories such as the one of Sampo's creation. The title does refer to setting of the story, but it is still weird to hear it as a name of a planet lol.
3.
Tumblr media
Our food is really repetitive u right Mr. Paavo
4.
Paavo explains the sword he has come to deliver is called Miekka Kivessä. This is the finnish translations of "The sword in the stone." he proceeds to then explain the legend of the sword in the stone, which. It's not a finnish legend. We've never had a king, yet alone chosen them with a sword-- Not even in myths. Kalevala's highest ranking guy in the mortal realm is Väinämöinen who's an old wise man.
Also he says Miekka Kivessä wrong but that's to be expected, very funny, and also I admire the effort to at least try and make it sound natural.
5.
Finally, he later reveals his last name-- Which, why are we refering to him as Mr. Paavo if he has a last name...? Oh well! Mr. Paavo's last name is Kalastaja, which translates to Fisher. This is not a real last name in Finland. The english equivalent of this man's goddang name would be something like Mr. Bob Employee.
_
Since you've made it this far I assume you won't mind me rambling a bit more. I'm personally psyched to see Finland mentioned in non-finnish media and love the wonky but genuine attempts to include us!
I think considering how many weebs there are in Finland who've come up with illogical "Asian names" to sound cool online, it's only fair we got the same treatment back :P I hope they'll keep delivering and I'd love to visit planet Kalevala one day.
_
*It's worth noting Finland is a colonizer of the Sami people, and a lot of their culture has been annexed without any care or respect towards them.
Finland was also under colonialism itself for hundreds of years, and our myths have been largely lost to time with only some information left. It's super difficult to tell what is finnish mythology and whats the Sami people's mythology.
That's a fact that's deeply important to remember when discussing things like this, and I hope that the people reading this consider looking into how to help the indigenous people of the nordic region. Thank you.
445 notes · View notes
lizardsfromspace · 9 months
Text
I'm not actually sure what Very Online types think should happen in Palestine and I don't think they're sure either bc what is this
Tumblr media
We shouldn't praise a teenager resisting the draft too hard bc. Bc...? I struggle to even parse what's being said here. It's guff about how "the bar is really this low" and then a reminder of how "we are seeing what is happening to Palestinians...and this is what people are uplifting?" but like. What does that mean though
They want Israeli oppression of Palestine to cease, but we can't be happy that a teenager refused to join in that oppression? So what should we do. Should we not encourage teens to resist the draft in a country with mandatory military service, heavy propaganda, and that has organized society to heavily stigmatize resisting military service? No, genuinely, what do they want people to do? We need the occupation to end, but also can't support anyone who's fighting for that to happen, since uhhh is the bar really this low??? Would it have been better if he joined the IDF
(do people not know Israel has mandatory military service? I've seen people agreeing with this by saying "refusing to join is the bare minimum, deciding to enlist is horrific". But they're not enlisting, it's conscription. Do they think this person enlisted then withdrew or something...? And why would that not be worth celebrating???)
The answer is ofc this person hasn't really thought about any of this. It's just raging id and an idea that engaging in online discourse is what's truly helpful. It's like the people who treated Hozier as if he was some pro-genocide goon for saying there needs to be "peace" in a statement far more condemnatory than most, since...I still don't know. "How can you talk about peace when one side's oppressing the other?" Well ending that is what peace is, definitionally speaking. How else will it end but with a treaty
The scenario here seems to be, we need the genocide and occupation to end. But also we can't support any Israelis trying to stop it, and should be sus of activism in general. Also we can't talk about "peace" in any way. We just need to post about how it should happen
Anyway when people pointed this out they instantly locked replies and said the "kumbaya libs found it 💔"
It reminds me of those people who swarm any story about Russian anti-war activists by saying it doesn't matter unless they personally assassinate Putin. Like cool. I guess people in the oppressor state should just do nothing to oppose it then if they can't fix anything. Screaming at someone who refuses to join the military that it's actually very problematic that they aren't joining in the oppression, when there's so much oppression to oppose instead of praising them for refusing to join the oppression
1K notes · View notes
narizaki · 2 months
Text
video  calls  &  sick  days  ―  s. kiyoomi
tags   manager!reader,   gn!reader,   fluff,   sickfic,   post-timeskip
notes   wc is 1.5k,   thanks for 2 hunnid enjoy :p
Tumblr media
over the few months you’ve been sakusa’s manager, you’ve ingrained daily video calls into your schedule. 
it wasn’t hard to tell that sakusa thought calls were inconvenient, to say the very least. the slight tick of his eye and the clench of his jaw were difficult to miss, even if he bit his tongue in the name of professionalism. you understood, really. no one would want to be disrupted early in the morning, especially when they’re someone who has a carefully crafted routine like sakusa — which is why you insisted on aligning these calls with his schedule, instead of deciding for him. it seemed to satisfy the spiker enough, seeing that he appeared much less tense almost immediately after. 
however, you’re starting to regret not bringing it upon yourself to dictate a time — especially when the back of your eyes are burning and it’s hard to breathe because it’s six in the morning and you’re sick.
“good morning, sakusa,” you groggily greet. you internally cringe at your voice, scratchy and making your throat hurt. you’ve opted to have your camera off just this once — you prefer to keep it on, as it makes these exchanges a little more humane, but you think your appearance is far too unfortunate for someone else to see right now. your hand runs through your hair, and you wince when your fingers get caught in a knot. 
sakusa’s camera is on, however, and the sound of pots clinking against one another fills the air around you. when he re-enters the frame, he’s focused on the meal he’s making, only mumbling a short greeting back. 
you take a swig of water and clear your throat, hoping that it helps with the ache, before beginning with sakusa’s schedule for today.
“let’s begin,” you start, “you’re free until 1 this afternoon, where you have a promotional shoot with hinata, bokuto, and miya. it should last until 3 or 4, depending on how long they take to prepare the four of you.” your words are curt and straightforward, and you hope that sakusa doesn’t notice. typically, you’d attempt small talk with him, but you’re currently trying to savor the last of your voice. 
“knowing miya, he’ll probably manage to drag it until 6 in the evening,” the spiker grumbles, and you can’t help the raspy (and tired) laugh that leaves you. a cough follows soon after, and if sakusa wasn’t able to tell that you were sick before, he definitely can now.
you watch as his eyes flit to his phone, a questioning look on his face. they roam around the screen for a moment, and you nervously wait for his reaction.
“are you sick?” sakusa bluntly asks. his eyebrows are furrowed, and he’s stopped stirring whatever he’s preparing on the stove. despite the fact he can’t even see you, you abashedly look away from your screen.
you’re tempted to deny it, but you know it’d be a futile attempt anyway. so, you relent, sighing out an affirmation. “yes, i am. i won’t be present at the shoot today, but you can expect the other three managers to be there. if you need anything, you can call me.” 
“no, i’ll be fine, but you shouldn’t be doing anything if you’re sick.” sakusa replies, turning away from his phone to move his food onto a plate. selfishly, you allow your eyes to rack down the wide expanse of his back, appreciating the way his compression shirt hugs his figure. it becomes clear that you were staring for too long, though, when sakusa turns back around, plate in hand and waiting for your response.
you have it in you to feel the slightest bit embarrassed, even if he can’t see you. 
“sorry,” you sheepishly murmur, “i can assure you that i’ll be okay, sakusa. i’ll be working from home today.”
“again,” he says, voice a tad harder than it was before, “you shouldn’t be doing anything if you’re sick. even if you’re working from home. is that everything i have on my schedule for today?” 
you’re not sure if sakusa’s being so insistent out of genuine worry for your health, or if he’s concerned that you’ll get him sick if you come to work in your state. “sakusa, i promise you that i’ll be okay in a day or two. and even then, i’ll make sure to wear a mask,” you say, assuming sakusa’s worried for his health. “moving on, though, i believe that’s all on your schedule for today. tomorrow you have your shoot with calvin klein, but i’ll remind you tomorrow morning. you have some pr, too. i believe a brand sent you pickled plums, which are your favorite, if i remember correctly?” 
you watch as sakusa shakes his head, sighing through his nose. “i’m not worried about me. i know that you wouldn’t get me sick. but if you keep on working instead of resting, you’re going to get worse, and you’ll be out for longer.” 
you’re beginning to become slightly irritated — a mix of tiredness, sickness, and sakusa’s nagging (even if it comes from a good place) beginning to annoy you. regardless, you try to pay no attention to it. once you’re done with this phone call, you’ll rest for another hour or two before doing whatever work you can from home. 
“i’m glad that you’re not worried about yourself, but as i said earlier, i’m sure i’ll be fine. i can take care of myself, sakusa,” you curtly reply, hoping that the spiker leaves the topic alone. 
thankfully, it seems like he does, because he relents and asks you to give him the pickled plums later on in the week. a few minutes later you’re greeting sakusa goodbye and hanging up, slouching into your mattress and performing a futile attempt at staving off the ache in your temples. 
you wake once again hours later to the incessant sound of your doorbell ringing. it’s certainly at least mid-morning, considering the way sunlight is filtering into your room, making your eyes ache. 
you stumble over to the door, paying no mind to your appearance and throwing the door open. to your surprise, sakusa is standing in your doorway, impatiently waiting for you to let him in, a plastic bag in hand.
“sakusa?” you gape. if you were being completely honest, he was the person you were least expecting to see right now — especially because you’re sick. he’s staring at you incredulously, like it’s not insane for him, out of all people, to willingly be around someone else while they’re ill. 
“you’re sick, right? i have soup and medicine,” he grumbles, “are you going to let me in or not?” 
you blink, before barely coming to your senses enough to open the door for him to step through. he does so immediately, taking long strides towards your dinner table to set the food down. then, he turns to you, and you have to resist the urge to curl into yourself. your head is pounding, you can hardly breathe through your nose, and you’re sure you look absolutely terrible right now. fuck professionalism, i guess, you sarcastically think. you’re not sure if you’ll ever allow yourself to live this moment down, even if you spend hours trying to forget about it.
“you didn’t…have to do this, sakusa,” you murmur, still somewhat in shock. and it seems that he’s just full of surprises today, because sakusa laughs, and you’re as surprised as you are annoyed because he’s laughing at you. 
“you’re my manager, i can’t have you dying on me,” he nonchalantly replies, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “now get back to bed. i’ll prepare the soup for you and get you some medicine.” 
you’re tempted to cuss at him, but decide that your entire body is far too weak to stay standing anymore, so you listen and make your way towards your room. sakusa doesn’t take very long, coming back with the items he promised and a damp towel — where’d he even find that?
and you think you’ve never seen sakusa so gentle before, placing the towel onto your forehead and handing you the warm soup. you eat it all in one go, not having realized how hungry you truly are, and graciously take the medicine sakusa offers you once you’re done. 
“...thank you, sakusa, you didn’t have to do this,” you say, feeling rather guilty that he took it upon himself to take care of you. 
sakusa only scoffs in reply. “you basically decide my entire life. everything would be thrown off-course if you weren’t able to work for even a week.” 
his response makes you laugh weakly, and you promise him that you’ll be back and better soon. 
“i have to go now,” sakusa says, glancing at his phone. you nod, remembering about the photoshoot you reminded him of earlier. 
he awkwardly stands still, before his hand comes to rest on top of your head in a strange head-pat. sakusa’s face is slightly flushed pink, an obvious show that he’s flustered.
“feel better soon,” he mumbles, and you thank him with a smile.
(sakusa was ten minutes late to his photoshoot. when asked why by his teammates, they gave him teasing looks when he said he dropped a few items off by his sick manager’s house.)
(he thinks he may hate his team.)
Tumblr media
410 notes · View notes
Note
Not to be a downer, but I actually finished my novel and now I’m confused because I don’t want to publish it. I don’t even particularly want anyone other than maybe my two close friends to even read it. What on Earth did I write 40k words (which I know is not really long enough for a novel, but it’s still far and away the longest thing I’ve ever written) for? I know people say “write for yourself” but like… am I just wasting my time? Help?
(p.s. you can leave this off anon)
(p.p.s your blog is really great 👍)
There's No Such Thing as Wasted Writing
I'm going to tackle this two ways...
#1 - "Write For Yourself" - there's a reason this common phrase has echoed through the Hall of Writers since time immemorial. It's because it's true! Writing doesn't have to be anything more than a pastime. It doesn't have to be anything more than something you do for your own benefit and enjoyment.
I have an in-joke with family members about how any time one of us does something the least bit crafty, DIY, skilled, whatever, a particular family member will always say, "You did a great job! You should do it for a living!" Like, someone can't even crochet a Kawaii mushroom without being pressured to turn it into an Etsy dynasty, or paint a cabinet without being pressured to become the next Property Brothers. And that's such a BANANAS capitalistic mindset, isn't it? This idea that nothing can be done purely for our own enjoyment. That you can't just write a novel because you want to... you can only write it if you plan to share it or publish it? It's just so silly.
And, the thing is, we don't even apply that mentality to a lot of other things people do purely for enjoyment. No one is streaming all of Bridgerton in two nights and saying, "I enjoyed every second of that, but why did I do that? Such a waste of time!" No one spends an hour strumming their guitar under the stars on a beach, and then says, "That was so relaxing and fun, but I didn't charge for that performance and I didn't record it to sell it, so that was obviously a waste of time."
You know what I mean?
#2 - And Anyway, Practice Makes Perfect - And if you keep writing--even if you continue not to share or publish--you'll get better and better with each story you write. Which, maybe all that means is you get to appreciate your own improvement, but also, should you ever change your mind and decide to write something to share or publish, you've now spent time honing your skills. Even if those other stories never see the light of day, they're still an important foundation of the writer you become. Do you know how many unpublished novellas, novels, and short stories I have? Too many to count. Hundreds of fan-fiction and original fiction short stories I've only shared with one or two other people, if anyone. A dozen or so novels and novellas that have only been read by a few people, and some haven't been read by anyone else or have only been read by my CPs. I would never consider those stories and novels and novellas to be a waste of time, because I know every single one made me a better writer. My published work is better because I wrote those other things.
So, I hope that makes you feel better. At the very least you hopefully enjoyed writing your novel--or at least got something out of it--and you definitely honed your writing skills, which matters! ♥
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!
♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here
473 notes · View notes
soularsss · 2 months
Text
Drawing Likeness: with Tem!
okaay since a few people actually showed interest in me sharing a bit of what I've been doing to figure out how to really capture likeness, specifically Temuera Morrison, I figured id do my best to write it out
I am also going to entice you with some of my recent clone art! (oooh some of it is unreleaaasedd)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I am putting the whole thing under the cut because I have a feeling its going to be long:
Read more!!!
a couple disclaimers before we start
-This is not some definite post about how everyone should be drawing clones, nor is it in any way claiming that this is the right way. This is just my musings as I stare at a mans face for way too long and try to replicate it
-I am inexperienced. As kind as you all are to me, drawing real people is relatively new to me, capturing a persons identity through their features is difficult for anybody, and I am no different. I have watched many a video on likeness and had my share of classes, but If im being honest, i rarely put it into practice successfully. So there'll probably be errors in this post or things i will come back to in a few months and wish I had said/done differently
ANYWAYs you guys get my vibe im just here to ramble and today we are rambling about mr copy paste. I am doing this for Law, my clone boy, because I plan on delving further into oc fanart and I want to put effort into representing him correctly!
SO LETS BEGIN
Before even deciding what specific pose of a person I want to draw, I tend to grab a bunch of references and compile them like so
Tumblr media
(all of these can be found on my pinterest)
Why so many? Well, we are about to delve into facial features, so when we are dealing with photos we have to take into account that there are an abundance of circumstances that will influence how a persons face will appear, some of these include:
focal length: All of these are taken on different devices, and focal length can play a big part in distorting faces
age will play a part, your face changes a bunch throughout your life!
lighting, while not as major, can muddy the waters and make it difficult to interpret facial planes and features
SO, to make sure we get a proper grasp of what's really going on, I like to make sure we have lots of options to compare and contrast with.
Next up! What I like to do is block out the main facial features with colour on different layers, the features I block out usually are the general face shape, eyebrows, eyes, nose and lips. But what you are looking for is the defining features of a person, so that could include other things! Maybe a scar, or some particularly prominent cheekbones.
Tumblr media
I dont have any rhyme or reason when it comes to picking my colours, all that matters is you can see all the shapes clearly.
Now I may be biased, because Ive been staring at these for 4 hours, but notice how it still looks like Tem? :D
Anyways, now we can break these parts down, and you'll see what I mean about compare and contrast:
Tumblr media
We'll start with isolating the facial shape, putting all these next to eachother you'll notice they arent exactly the same (partly because of my shoddy work) But the distinguishing features run through each shape! Namely the very soft rectangular shape I sketched out in the bottom right there. Along with his soft, wide jaw structure.
I did the same for the rest of his features!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You'll notice I highlight the prominent shapes and ratios,
When drawing anything, it is important to start from the very base shapes and build up.
When drawing something you want to look like someone, those shapes relative to other shapes is what makes it look like them.
Tumblr media
I didnt use the same technique with his eyes and lips, but I wrote out some helpful info for them! More importantly for his eyes.
When drawing eyes, I find the most important part is where exactly I draw the creases, (along with the overall shape of the eye itself) it is important to understand where those will present themselves with hooded eyes.
NOW, with an understanding of his facial features in place, lets take a detour to colours:
before I start, a couple things to note:
-Temuera morrison versus the clone troopers in the animated shows:
While I love the animated shows they don't exactly stay close to their source material. Im going to link here to an excellent post discussing whitewashing specifically in relation to the clones.
Temuera is Māori, of Te Arawa (Ngāti Whakaue) and Tainui (Ngāti Maniapoto, Ngāti Rarua) whakapapa, and also has Scottish and Irish ancestry.
The Māori people are the indigenous Polynesian people of mainland New Zealand (Aotearoa). Māori originated with settlers from East Polynesia. Māori people often vary in skin tone, Skin colour doesn't determine ethnicity. There's often a correlation but it's not a requirement.
But that is a tangent! What we are aiming for is to stay true to Temuera.
Tumblr media
Bringing back my reference photos from before, Ive colour picked a buncha values and theyre all over the place. Why doesnt this work?
Similarly to earlier, you have to take into account the photos themselves. Many things like lighting, colour grading (when it comes to filmography) and makeup, can alter how a skin colour presents in photo.
Tumblr media
You can attempt to get true to life by swatching from certain places on the face. Here I've tried to pick some photos with good lighting, and I've also tried to avoid overly lit/shaded areas.
Tem has a very warm, tan skin tone, Instead of colour picking I tend to try and replicate it myself, but I do often bring in references to make sure Im staying true to the source!
Tumblr media
a brief intermission to talk about colour theory, something I myself struggle with alot. Often, when putting in flat colours without a background, I will forget to make sure the colours i intend to use will work with the skin tone i have picked! (something that is apparent in older works of mine, not just in relation to clones, but in general, the colours I end up with stray largely from their original sources and it is something I am doing my best to keep in mind and improve in! Although I don't think i am nearly experienced enough in the topic to say I have succeeded yet lol.)
anyways back to Tem :))
Tumblr media
Now we can put all of that into practice! Things to keep in mind when drawing out a piece next to a reference like this:
the distance between the eyebrows? how far down his face does his nose go? Basically just, in relation to eachother, where do all those shapes we found earlier, sit?
The screenshot above is from before I did it myself, but instead of directly tracing from the reference, a handy trick I use it to complete your sketch first, and then overlay a traced version to see where your inconsistencies are! Alternatively, you could move your sketch over the image, but I didnt do it that way so!! uh!! im sure it works exactly the same!!!!
When it comes to a final illustration, or any sketch that isnt a direct study, of course you can push and pull and stylise! You'll see below that I'm not exactly 1:1 to my reference photo either.
The important thing with stylisation, or at least my own personal understanding of stylisation is that you need to thoroughly understand the thing you are stylizing! "You need to know the rules to break them" and all that. While shapes, lines and rendering can change, when it comes to drawing someone, and making it look like them, you have to make sure to keep their core features true to source. Caricature can capture a persons vibe whilst drastically exaggerating features, but it will only look like them if you KEEP THOSE FEATURES!!!! SHAPES!!! AHHH!!
But that is just my perspective on the discussion of style versus realism, please dont take is as Law, I dont know what Im on about half the time!!
anyways, after fixing your sketch, add local colours!
Tumblr media
I rexified him because why tf not! But this is where you can go crazy with that clone personalization!
Tumblr media
And then here is a very very barely rendered version (if you guys want me to explain how i RENDER that would need to be a completely different post, and I havent had anyone ask about it yet so who knows! maybe one day) But I digress, hopefully you learnt something new through my ramblings! It has certainly helped me organize my thoughts and I have also found some areas I would like to focus more on in the future to improve my own art!
TLDR: In order to understand an object, be it a face or a building or literally anything, you have to break it down to its simplest forms, understanding LARGER shapes will help you immensely in the long run
If you guys like this sorta content do let me know! I'd be down to do similar things for armor/anything really, I am very anti gatekeep so really anything at all you want to know! Send me an ask :))
also if you see a spelling mistake.. i don’t know how that got there
411 notes · View notes