#apologies for the bitterness. i feel like given where i'm from i have the right to be bitter abt this lol

[daz4i]

most annoying politics related thing i see both irl and on tumblr is when ppl hear about protests and actions taken against the government in [insert country with shitty government doing shitty things] and go "wow. i guess there are good people in [country] after all" like damn fr?? who knew! it's almost as if generalizing millions of people due to the actions of a few is dehumanizing and xenophobic 😳

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗔 𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗧𝗢 𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗚𝗘𝗧

　　　　　　　　　𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader

SUMMARY: Where, in a day full of downs, Y/N faces a series of challenges at work that culminate in an anxiety attack in the car on the way home, but Matt is by her side to bring her back.

WARNING: Anxiety attack, crying, bad thoughts, bad day.

REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Y/N sighed as she sat at her office desk, preparing herself for another day of work. The comforting smell of the freshly brewed coffee Matt bought at the Starbucks drive thru on the way to her company surrounded her as she adjusted her chair and turned on her computer.

But what seemed like a smooth start quickly turned into a disaster.

As the girl reached for her mouse, her elbow hit the cup, which surprisingly wasn't closed properly, spilling the scalding liquid onto her keyboard and legs. An involuntary scream escaped her lips as she jumped up from her chair, trying to clean up the mess with her hands, hurting them in the process. Her eyes traveled across her desk, picking up the nearest blank papers - since she didn't have any napking - draping them over her thighs.

"Great, just great." She muttered to herself, feeling the penetrating heat of the drink on her skin and the bitter aroma mixing with the smell of the office.

Embarrassed, she crumpled up the paper, throwing them in the trash beneath her desk before heading over to the tea table, picking up a handful of napkins, her eyes darting around her, feeling gazes burning into her back.

The girl took a deep breath, turning around and returning to her seat. Surreptitiously, she cleaned the keyboard as best she could and tried to dry her legs with what was left of the napkins, but the damage was done.

Feeling discouraged, she tried to focus on her work, but her mind was troubled by the incident.

Hours passed, and Y/N was immersed in an important project when her boss, Mr. Johnson appeared next to her desk.

“Y/N, can you give me the reports from the finance department?” He asked in a serious voice, his eyes running over the small drips of coffee dry on the wooden surface as his nose wrinkled at the strong smell.

Without thinking, Y/N picked up the documents that were in the pile of papers on the right side of her desk and handed them to him with a confident smile. However, her confidence quickly disappeared when she read a small excerpt from the back of the last page, then realizing that she had given him the wrong papers.

A feeling of horror overcame her when she saw the shocked expression on her boss's face as he looked at the contents.

"What is this, Y/N?" His voice was thick with anger as he looked at her disapprovingly. "Those aren't the reports I asked for!"

Y/N felt her face burn with embarrassment as she tried to articulate an apology, but the words seemed to stick in her throat. She helplessly watched her boss throw the papers haphazardly beside her right arm, turning and walking away, muttering irritably about the incompetence of some employees.

Shoulders slumped, Y/N turned forward, fighting back tears of frustration, her blurry vision distorting the entire contents of her computer. She wondered how she could have made such a silly mistake and felt discouraged by her own incompetence.

As she tried to refocus on her work with the onset of a headache and her chest burning in agony, the office light flickered and then went out completely. A collective sigh of frustration echoed through the office as all the employees were plunged into darkness.

Y/N clenched her fists in frustration as she realized she hadn't saved her recent work, the black screen staring back at her. She knew she would have to start from scratch, probably take work home so she could finish the task on time, having already irritated her boss beyond belief, a disheartening thought after such a disastrous day.

In the dark silence of the office, Y/N fought the feeling of defeat that threatened to consume her. She knew she would have to overcome the day's challenges and continue, after all, she was just another employee and couldn't afford to rest her mind before keep going, and at the moment, all she wanted was to escape the turmoil and forget the terrible day she had.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The clock marked the end of the day, and the office was empty. Y/N collected her belongings and headed to the company entrance, ready to meet her boyfriend Matt, along with Nick and Chris, who would pick her up after they finished recording the car video that would be posted the next day.

She waited patiently in front of the front doors, watching the strong wind sway the palm trees around the luxurious entrance. Her thoughts wandered to the disastrous day she had at work, reliving each moment in her mind, wearing herself down with the thoughts of what she could have done better for everything that happened, not happening. The feeling of failure weighed heavily on her shoulders, but she forced herself to maintain a neutral expression, hiding her emotions from the few passersby who passed by.

Time passed, and Matt still hadn't arrived. Y/N checked the time on her phone several times, feeling impatience growing inside her. She knew she should give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, unforeseen events happened, but her anxious mind couldn't help but think about all the things that could have happened.

Then, as if the universe were conspiring against her, the gray clouds above her head broke, and torrential rain began to fall. Y/N looked up, feeling the cold drops wet her face and penetrate her clothes, soiling her pants even more. She wished she had brought an umbrella, but it was too late to regret it now.

As she waited in the rain, Y/N felt flooded with a mix of emotions. The frustration of the day was mixed with concern about Matt being late and the feeling of helplessness in the face of adverse weather. She wanted to burst into tears, to let out all the tension and anguish she had been carrying, but a part of her refused to give in.

Instead, Y/N maintained a mask of calm, keeping her emotions locked inside herself as her mind screamed silently, her arms crossed tightly beneath her breasts, trying to trap as much heat as possible.

Finally, after an endless wait, Y/N saw Matt's car approaching. Her heart leaped in relief as he stopped in front of her, watching Chris rush out the passenger door, leaving it open for her and getting into the backseat next to Nick.

"Sorry I'm late, babe." Matt asked after making sure she was seated and comfortable, a guilty smile decorating his face. "We had some problems with the topics and barely noticed the time passing."

Y/N just nodded, forcing a smile in response. She knew there was no point in complaining or breaking down now.

As the car drove away from the company, leaving chaos and rain behind, Y/N took a deep breath as she leaned her head against the glass, ignoring the discomfort of her clothes sticking against her skin.

In the back seat, Chris and Nick were immersed in a lively conversation about one of the topics discussed in the video as the car moved along the wet road, a topic that Y/N was sure she would've joined on the discussion if she wasn't feeling so bad.

The steady rhythm of the rain beating against the glass provided a relaxing background, but this calm was soon interrupted when Chris decided, out of the blue, that he wanted to connect his phone to the car speaker to put some music.

"Wait, I found a song earlier today that's a very Lil Skies vibe." Chris said with an excited smile, fishing his cell out of the front pocket of his sweatpants.

Before he could select the song, Nick acted quickly, taking the device out of Chris's hand.

"No, wait! Billie released a new song recently." Nick recalled, with a challenging tone of voice. "You always pick the same songs."

Chris frowned, retrieving his phone again, as if it were a tug of war.

"No, today I want to listen to my songs!"

The exchange quickly turned into an argument, with Chris and Nick gradually raising their voices as they argued over who should control the car stereo like two kids, while Matt watched them in the rearview mirror, telling them to shut up from time to time. The friendly atmosphere of the previous moment quickly disappeared, replaced by a palpable tension that filled the interior of the vehicle.

Meanwhile, Y/N huddled tighter on her seat, feeling more and more overwhelmed by the tense atmosphere. She tried to focus on the scenery passing by the window, but the sound of Chris and Nick's loud, gruff voices hit her like an avalanche.

She closed her eyes for a moment, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm her nerves. She knew she shouldn't get involved in the brothers' fight, that she had nothing to do with it, and that, unsurprisingly, discussions like that were routine in her life. But despite her efforts to control herself, the pressure of the horrible day she had had weighed on her shoulders like an unbearable burden.

As the argument continued to intensify, Y/N felt a wave of anxiety wash over her, the desperation to scream at them to shut up getting bigger. Her heartbeat accelerated, her breathing became shallow, and her hands began to shake involuntarily.

She knew an anxiety attack was coming, but she fought to contain it, fearing what would happen if she lost control, not wanting to worry the boys, or worse, upset them even more.

However, even with all her determination, Y/N was unable to prevent the inevitable. Chris and Nick's rising voices, mixed with the crushing weight of her own worries, were too much to bear. A sudden sob escaped her throat, tearing the air inside the car, which was soon followed by more sobs, each one more anguished than the last.

Her shoulders began to shake violently, her body contorting under the overwhelming weight of her emotions. She tried to hold back, but the tears came in torrents, blurring her vision and obscuring her world.

Matt looked away from the road to look at her, his expression turning to immediate concern when he saw her condition.

"Y/N, babe, what's going on?" He asked, his voice full of alarm.

Chris and Nick abruptly fell silent, their argument forgotten as they looked at Y/N with expressions of shock and concern.

But Y/N couldn't respond. She was deep in her own mind, fighting the waves of anxiety that consumed her. Her world had narrowed to nothing but pain and despair, her body shaking uncontrollably under the weight of her thoughts.

The interior of the car was immersed in a tense silence. Matt kept a steady hand on the steering wheel, but his attention was entirely focused on Y/N, whose sobs filled the space between them.

"Baby? Hey, petal, look at me." Matt asked softly, his voice flooding with concern as he tried to reach her through the abyss of her anguish.

Y/N reluctantly raised her eyes to meet Matt's, but her vision was blurred by the tears still streaming down her face. She felt a wave of despair as she realized that she couldn't calm down no matter how hard she tried.

Matt took his right hand off the steering wheel, keeping control of the car with his left one, bringing it to Y/N's leg, stroking the wet covered skin with a firm touch, trying to bring her back.

"Breathe with me, baby. C'mon, take a deep breath. That's it, in... then out."

He began counting in a low voice, guiding her through deep, slow breaths. Y/N tried to follow his instructions, focusing on the rhythm of her breathing and the comforting feeling of Matt's touch.

Meanwhile, Chris remained silent in the backseat, his expression a mixture of guilt and concern. He knew that his actions had contributed to Y/N's current state, and that weighed heavily on his conscience.

Beside him, Nick placed a light hand on her shoulder, silently conveying support. He wanted to find the right words to comfort Y/N, but he felt helpless in the face of the situation.

Then, suddenly, Matt turned the steering wheel abruptly, turning the car towards the side of the road, parking it there quickly, knowing that he would get nowhere if he kept trying to help her in a moving vehicle. He unbuckled his own belt, followed by hers before turning fully to his girl, his eyes fixed on hers with gentle determination.

"Sweetheart, listen to me." The brunette ordered, his voice firm, but full of love. "You're safe. I'm here with you, and I'm not going anywhere."

He gently took her face in his hands, caressing the icy skin of her cheeks and leaning over the console to kiss her forehead tenderly. Each gesture was full of care and affection, an attempt to dispel the fog of anxiety that enveloped Y/N.

"You are strong, my beautiful, beautiful girl." Matt continued, his voice soft and comforting. "You'll get through this. I'm here for you no matter what."

With his loving words and gentle touches, Matt began to guide Y/N out of the abyss of her anxiety attack. He wrapped her in his protective arms, almost laying his torso on the console - ignoring the pain the hard surface provided to his skin, holding her tightly as she sobbed into his chest.

Minute by minute, Y/N's shaking lessened, her breathing becoming more regular. Finally, after what looked like an eternity, she pulled away slightly from Matt's arms, looking up at him with gratitude in her moist eyes.

"Thank you." She whispered, her voice breaking, her teeth catching her lower lip momentarily, feeling guilty for making them have to witness such a situation. "I... I'm fine now."

"I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. So, so proud." Matt smiled at her, his eyes brimming with relief as her voice emanated calm. "I love you."

"I love you more."

As the car returned to the road, the storm inside Y/N began to dissipate. Her arms remained crossed around her own torso, trying to convey some sort of comfort to her body as she didn't receive the touch from Matt that she so desperately craved.

"I'm sorry, boys." The girl whispered a few seconds later, turning slightly back, her eyes darting from Chris to Nick and back again.

"Never apologize for situations like this, Y/N. You can't control your body, much less your emotions." Nick quickly stopped her avalanche of negative thoughts, giving her a serious but loving look.

"It's us who should apologize. I imagine something must have happened before, but either way, we're the ones who caused this." Chris looked down at the top of the car's console, scratching the back of his head with his right hand in embarrassment.

"It's okay. It was just a bad day." The girl smiled slightly at the two, her eyes still burning from the intense crying and her body sore from the strong tremors, but her heart could now rest.

Matt looked at her momentarily, smiling big and proud, his blue eyes shining with pure love. His hand, which was still on her thigh, lightly pressed the covered skin, stroking it with his thumb, before turning his gaze forward again.

taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @il0vebeingdelulu @sturniolowhore @mimi-luvzyu @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @domizzzsstuff @sturnizd @hearts4chriss @cupidzsq @dracoflaco @leah-loves-lilies @tylerthecreatorsrealwife @rootbeerworshiper @junnniiieee07 @elliesturniolo1 @sstvrnioloo @lightsgore @gidgett11037 @sturniolho @ksskianshd @ccolleenn @sturniolo-lover1317 @soimightlikeoldmen69 @hrtyjy @ldr-sl0t @breeloveschris @bellasfavbisexual @its-jennarose @sainzzsturns @ecliphttlunar @thebottledwatersupplier @soso-scarlettolivia @maryx2xx @sturnolio-luvs @bitchydragonparadise @lvrsturn @freshsturns @h3arts4harry @0strawberrysorbet0 @iammattswife

(If you want to be added to the taglist, go to this post)

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Taiwan has one show, but that's all they need

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

April 2024 Wk 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - I don’t say this often but I LOVE this love triangle. The longing gazes = chef's kiss. I like that we are finally getting flashbacks to Tai’s side of the love affaire. This show remains highly engaging. So pleased for MaxNat.  

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 5 of 8 - More lesbians! Yay! Meanwhile, when our leads make up they make out! (Yes I’m proud of myself.) I think this might be BLs first rooftop sex scene. We’ve reached new heights, BLabies. (Yes I’m proud of that too.) Anygay, basically a soap opera at this point, I'm not thrilled but I don’t mind.

"Do you apologize for being straight?"

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - It was lovely. Very well done celebrity leaving the closet ep. Nice ensemble work too. Next week is doom! As expected. 

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 1 of 12 - New main couple for GMMTV in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. It’s fine but overly very pulp feeling for something from GMMTV. I'm a little concerned.

1000 Years Old (Thurs iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - meh.

To Be Continued (Sat C3 Thailand grey) ep 7 of 8 - Never turned up on my usual sites. So will have to wait until next week. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues YouTube & Viki) ep 7 of 11 - Qian was, indeed, the one who couldn’t let go. This show is fucking fantastic. It's the best thing I'm watching right now by a mile.

Jazz for Two (Korea Gaga/grey) eps 3-8fin - The bully and the blue-haired drummer side pairing were great. I hated the father. Hated him so much. Our main tsundere seme was a bit too tsundere for me. I was v annoyed by the time he finally softened. I'm amused by all the ways they finagled boys kissin-but-not-kissing in the first half of this show. 2024's "pan around the back of the head" has now become a "dipping of the brolly." We did, however, eventually get an okay kiss.

Honestly?

This was basically what I wanted from Given and didn’t get. So I’m pleased. The music still wasn't great, but you can skip those bits. A solid enemies to lovers BL, where the sins of brothers' past haunts the present. Great optics, decent chemistry, and a tidy script even if tsundere characterization went a bit extreme in some cases. 8/10 RECOMMENDED trigger for suicide

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 5 of 6 - We got the past betrayal in detail and it was decently bad. Bitterness understood. Too soon to live together! The BL U-Haul strikes again. I do like their weird curry passive aggressive argument. This is an interesting show. Do I LOVE it? No. But I think I like it.

On a not-really-related note: adoption, including adult adoption, is actually pretty common in Japan (comparatively). It's often tied to business scionism.

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 8fin - It all turned out to be a tragic GL in the end. Not BL = not my problem. No rating. I will forget its existence right about… now. 

Love is like a Cat (Korea Mon Viki) eps 1-2 of 12 - Okay, weirdly kinky with the head scratching. Not much has happened and I’m not wild about what has. 

It's done, ready to binge, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

It's airing but...

We Are (Weds GMMTV iQIYI) ep 1 of 16 - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon - basically the good kind of messy gay friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is queer. I'm IN but I need my other computer and I'm traveling as usual. So I'll get caught up next week and probably won't regularly be able to watch this one.

Graduation Countdown (Taiwan YouTube) - It's too much for me to keep up with 2 minute verticals, I don't have that kind of TikTok endurance training.

A Secretly Love (Thai Sat WeTV grey) 10 eps - Completed. Worth watching?

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) 6 eps - It’s so boring DNFed at 2.

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) 6 - The problem with situational comedy BL is it must be situational, comedic and a BL. This show gets 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. Dropped at 3.

In the news

Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari is getting the undeserved honor of Furritsubs. Follow them for details. Tip 'em if you like 'em. (Will I watch it? Oh, probably. Damn it.)

Then Next Prince turned out to be a trailer only. Word on the webs is we will be lucky if we get it this year. It’s BL Princess Diaries. Jimmy has a new pairing (that boy from Night Dream) which is... interesting. All in all, this show does not look good. Pretty but not good.

Next Week Looks Like This:

4/11 Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea ????) 4 eps - SooHyuk is only just surviving and reunites with YoonDae, an old friend. They end up living together. One of the leads is played by Choco of Choco Milk Shake.

4/12 Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why, they fall in love along the way. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake.

Still to Come in April

4/18 At 25:00, in Alaska AKA 25 Ji, Akasaka de (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn. I think I've seen this before (joke) and also the trailer doesn't inspire confidence.

4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks well complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.

I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous partner) and Best, news here.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

See City of Stars & Unknown.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[qqtxt]

omgomgomg i cant let this thought go help meee but imagine the cliché bad dream trope with txt specifically the one where reader wakes up from a bad dream where the dream version of bf!txt was cheating on them then they wake up and get angry at irl txt lmao (im not really thinking angst but lighthearted and soft hours)

*smacks them awake with a pillow*"WHO IS SHE?!"

Them: 👁👄👁 "Babe I just woke up wdym..."

oh my goodness this is too real. i have done something similar to my bf before and he's really just 💧👁👄👁💧 this made me giggle so i just had to write a little something! I'm still a little stumped with my studies but i really wanted to write something out so this is a bit short and not really proofread! so apologies in advance but i do hope it's okay! 💖

[🌸] bitter dream, sweet reality w/ txt

✿ pairing: ot5 x reader / fluff, crack 🌸🤡 / idol!txt / non.idol!you / soobin and yeonjun get roasted for nothing ✿ mini-fics with each member for the same situation / less than 400 words for each member / altogether, word count: 1,591 words ✿ in which you dreamt that he cheated on you and you smack their face with a pillow [masterlist 🌸] / other members under the cut!

[🐰] soobin  soobin lets out a whine when he feels a smack to the face. as he opens his eyes, he flinches when he notices you're already looking at him with a frown on your face. the worry overtakes him too quickly as he sits up, hands to your shoulders, "hey... you okay?"

"how can you ask that when you did what you did?" you mutter under your breath, looking away from him with a huff. he gapes, blinking a couple of times to recuperate. 

"i-i just–what did i–"

"you cheated on me. in my dream. you suck."

initially, soobin's stumped. listening to your words, he was ready to apologise until he realises that–"wait, in your dream? i cheated? on you?" he chuckles when the words sink in, and he watches how you cross your arms in front of your chest. "you can't be serious, right? why would i ever cheat on you?"

when you press your lips to a thin line and refuse to look at him, he takes it as his cue to–"ah..." he hums softly, relenting as he wraps his arms around you. it was easy enough to curl you in given that he makes use of his figure; effectively nudging you towards him and engulfing you in his embrace. "i apologise on behalf of dream soobin, but real life soobin won't ever do that," he gives you a gentle shake, "hm?"

"hm," you nod, putting your arms around him to snuggle closer towards him. sure, you might've hit soobin in the face with the pillow but the way he's able to hug you like this might've been all the more worth it as he smiles into the side of your face like a hopeless romantic.

[🦊] yeonjun yeonjun nearly falls off the bed as he comes to wake from the hit to the face. he can't quite believe he's woken up just from a hit but when he snaps his eyes open and turns to the side, he's a mumbling fish.

"what?! who? what's going on?" he frantically looks around, and then he spots you sitting up with a pillow in your hands, nearly looking like you're about to squish it to death. "yah..." he murmurs, a hand reaching out to you but his brows furrow when you dodge his touch, "what's wrong?"

"you cheated on me."

his eyes visibly widen as he swallows.

"me? when?"

"in my dream. last night. i don't like you."

he didn't intend to but you make it very, very hard not to smile. the corner of his lips already tug upwards at the thought of you being frustrated at the fact you thought he would cheat on you, or even comprehend that.

"look at me, please?" he tries to reach out to you and this time he manages to put a hand on the pillow you're holding. he tugs at it and you let go of the pillow so he can put it back next to him as he puts his hands in yours to give a squeeze. "c'mon now, the quicker you look at me, the faster we can go back to sleep."

you reluctantly look at him and that's when you see it. the way his eyes look at you with love, overflowing with warmth. the way he's so infatuated with you that he couldn't ever, possibly do it.

"how could i ever cheat on you when i get to look at you look at me like this? do i need to run up to the rooftop to profess my love to you to the entire world? because i would, let me just grab my slippers and–"

you make a noise that crosses between a whine and grumble, squeezing his hands. that alone was enough for yeonjun to be able to get you to lie down next to him as he cuddles you in bed until you fall asleep with a smile on both of your faces.

[🐯] beomgyu  beomgyu merely groans at the soft plush feeling he feels on his face. he doesn't bother opening his eyes, only reaching out blindly until he hooks his arm around what feels like your waist and he pulls. he whines a little when you don't oblige it makes him peel one eye open to see you frowning at him. instinctively, he shrugs it off and shifts closer towards you instead, nuzzling against the side of your arm, "what time is it? it still looks dark to be awake..."

when he doesn't hear a response, he huffs and opens his eyes, now noticing the way you're still frowning.

"nawh... what's wrong? can't sleep?"

"i was peacefully sleeping until you decided to cheat on me in my dream."

his first instinct is to laugh, then drag poor, innocent yeonjun into this.

"the day i ever cheat on you is the day that yeonjun-hyung turns into a bird,"

"..."

"...okay, not funny. but look at me," he sits up on his elbows, turning to look at you properly even though he has crust in his eyes and he looks like he needs to sleep for another year and a half. "i'm so hopelessly in love with you that i still feel like i don't see you enough,"

"i'm with you every night," you counter, with a scoff of laugh that he holds onto with a grin, "exactly," he nods. "so how can i possibly cheat on you?"

when you don't respond, he knows he's won when he's able to lay back down and lure you into his arms.

"better?" he hums, burying his face in your neck as you cuddle against his chest, as he moulds into your back with a sigh. "better."

[🐿] taehyun  taehyun's half-sleepy, half-confused when he wakes up from the fluff of a pillow that greets him awake. it takes him a while to process that okay, i'm awake and to notice that oh, you're the one who woke me up when he notices the pillow in your hands, a frown etched to your lips, brows furrowed. he sighs and sits up, tilting his head at you, "can't sleep?"

you keep silent, fidgeting with the pillow that taehyun shakes his head.

"c'mon, pretty thing. i can't help unless you tell me what's wrong," he shifts a little closer, placing a hand on top of yours, lifting his brows just a little on instinct, "hm?"

he sees how your features change in the dark and he shouldn't laugh but he does when you're all pouty and sulky.

"you're a cheater, kang taehyun."

"me?" he snorts, giving your hands a squeeze, "since when?"

"since last night, in my dream."

you watch as your words seep into his brain, and it shows on his face when his lips turn from an 'o' to a small smile.

"that's not fair, now is it? i can't control dream taehyun, but at least i can control real-life taehyun," he moves to wedge his hand between yours and grips onto one of it, his thumb brushing the back of your hand, "and real-life taehyun would never do that to you."

"promise?" you know you sound childish, maybe even a little irrational but it's the way taehyun nods with such firmness and genuity, even locking pinkies with you that makes you feel at ease, "promise."

[🐧] kai kai is the definition of clueless and flustered upon being smacked to wake with a pillow to the face. though, he's surprisingly not as panicky as imagined when he sits up with a sharp intake of breath, eyes rapidly blinking as he adjusts to the darkness of the room and calls for your name softly.

"are you okay?" he mutters, rubbing his eyes as he sits up, half-lidded.

"no, because you," with another pillow hit to the chest, he oofs back onto the bed despite trying to sit up, "cheated on me."

he remains laying down on the bed, moving his hand from his eyes with a chuckle.

"what's so funny?" you huff, nudging him with your weapon (pillow).

"me cheating on you is like saying soobin-hyung willingly signed a gym membership."

"...do you think this is funny?"

"y/n," he sits up, testing the waters to see if you'd hit him again but when you lower your weapon down, he smiles at you so sweetly, it's making you feel a little guilty for waking him up like this and he's still so sweet to you. "i literally flew back ten hours just so i can be with you for two days before i'd have to leave again. i'd still do it again and again because i love you so much. do you think i'd cheat on you?"

"then why'd you cheat on me in my dream?"

he shrugs, "i can't answer that. that's not me."

when you don't say anything, he sighs and peels the pillow from your hands so he can place it back on the bed. then, he crawls over to you, wrapping his arms around you to carefully lure you back to where you belong; in his arms, side by side in bed.

"you don't actually think i'll cheat on you, do you?" he murmurs, rubbing your stomach as he hooks his chin on your shoulder.

you shake your head and lean back to his touch, "no, but it felt real. and i didn't like that feeling..."

"mm..." he hums, "that doesn't sound like it feels nice. but do you feel a bit better now?"

you nod, lapping your hands over his as your eyes close, "yeah, much better now."

[scoobydoodean]

i’d like you to know you’ve made me much more of a bitter deangirl when it comes to the trap. like i still love the idea of it, of them reconnecting in purgatory of all places, and i still like the idea of lots of what dean says re: should’ve asked cas to stay and i forgive you and talking *about* his anger, but… dean had a right to be angry, including at cas. and yeah it’s good that dean apologized, for the sake of healthy communication cause that’s what you do when you’ve said hurtful things in an argument regardless of who’s “right”, but cas also should’ve apologized again. in fact, i can’t remember so i could be completely misremembering, but does cas ever actually apologize to dean beyond expressing the sentiment of feeling bad that mary died?

and i’m also thinking about the conversation they have before being separated. i like the angst of cas’s line re: i left but you didn’t stop me, but again, dean was not the only one in that argument. to leave was very much cas’s choice, and it feels kinda unfair to put that on dean, regardless of whether dean saying smth would’ve actually gotten cas to stay (which, to dean, probably would’ve seemed unlikely given cas’s past habits). and also, cas saying dean couldn’t move on, that’s actually fucking heartbreaking and almost… cruel. iirc it’d been at most a couple weeks since his mom (his mom!) had been killed!! plus dean never got to say goodbye, again!! of course he couldn’t just move on!

idk idk… anyway i believe i’ve sent an ask about your opinions on the trap before lol, and sorry about this long ass message, but i recently saw a gifset about that conversation (before being attacked) and all the notes were like ‘yes cas you tell him!’ ‘dean needed to hear that!’ ‘finally got dean’s head out of his ass!’ and it kinda made me annoyed for dean which. brainrot. but whatever. bitter deangirls unite, dean deserves the support 😭😭

context

LMAO sorry for my tumblr arc culminating in me turning full bitter deangirl ig and taking some of you down with me (I'm not sorry actually I'm having a ball in this bitch).

Cas's attempts at apologies are cataloged here. So he does try to apologize. But how many times has Cas been "sorry" only to do the thing he apologized for again? I mean the fact that he keeps "apologizing" for lack of communication and unilateral decisions over things that impact other people besides him and secret deals that blow up in all of their faces over and over and over and over shows that he is... not actually that sorry? Because if you're actually sorry, you actually change your behavior. Except Cas thinks "getting a win" (while actively digging a deeper hole in his relationship with Dean) is the way to "apologize" and make everything better instead of just... changing his behavior. And whatever his latest big plan to fix everything is never works and instead actively makes his relationships and his own self esteem worse. From the outside perspective, what Cas is doing (apologizing then doing the thing he just apologized for again) is just kind of... the ultimate way of telling a person you claim to love that their feelings actually have very little value to you. I mean Cas would be horrified by the idea that he doesn't actually value Dean's feelings, but what conclusion is Dean supposed to come to? Is it any wonder that Dean is perpetually confused about what exactly Cas thinks of their relationship? Is it any wonder that he reached a point where he couldn't stand to hear one more of Cas's meaningless apologies? To maintain any semblance of a relationship with Cas, Dean has to focus on what he feels about Cas's intentions (intentions Dean has always had faith in being good) but that faith and care increasingly forces him to ignore aspects of their relationship that are deeply hurtful because Cas refuses to do his part in addressing their issues in any meaningful way. It's just a vicious cycle of Dean trying to communicate that their lack of communication is upsetting and Cas pretending to listen and apologizing but clearly not actually listening or understanding the gravity of the situation and how it is slowly building a rift between them over years (with perhaps the most striking and hurtful example being The Future) until the secret over soulless Jack becomes "the straw that broke the camel's back" and Dean absolutely explodes at the end of season 14... and then... still... Cas's secrets remain—to the bitter fucking end.

Also yeah tbh Cas's "I left but you didn't stop me" makes my eyes roll so hard. Painfully stupid dialogue with unpleasant (though likely unintentional) implications (as linked in thread above).

[da-rulah]

WIP Whenever

I've been tagged by the lovely @angellayercake & @portaltothevoid to share a preview of a work in progress... Currently, I'm working on a one shot fic for Secondo as two people have asked for sad/angsty Bone Daddy. So, have at it...

Warnings: Just angst. Pure angst.

He wanted to run. He wanted to hide. Given the option, he'd abdicate from his position with immediate effect and live out the remainder of his days in a cabin in the Italian Apennines. But that wasn't an option, and he had to face this.

He had to face you.

Sister Imperator had called a meeting of the higher Clergy to welcome you back, and to explain your place in the Ministry to those you'd be working closely with. That included Papa Secondo.

Papa.

When you'd first heard that news, you couldn't help the small smile that had tugged at your lips. He'd always wanted that title, always deserved it. You were happy for him, glad to see that he was where he rightfully should be.

But when you saw him for the first time in that meeting room, sat in his chair at the head of the table, that happiness had dissipated. Fear and dread had filled you, a pain in your chest you thought you'd got over long ago. But the scowl on his face told you the feelings he had toward you were still just anger, spite, bitterness. And no matter how much time you'd had to heal, that scar still pulsated and burned in you.

You remained professional, hardened much like Imperator. You had to be. If you showed him how weak he still made you feel, your authority might be brought into question. You'd worked too hard for that.

As the meeting adjourned, the table got up to leave and you along with it, until you heard his deep and commanding voice from the end of the table.

"Sorella _______, I ask you stay for a moment."

You froze, too frightened too look back at him, too weak to tell him no. Primo and Terzo, who had both been sat on the opposite side of the table to you, shared a look that read as 'oh, shit...' before their glares fell on their brother. Secondo ignored them, shooing the rest of the clergy out of the doors.

Nobody said a word, simply leaving quickly and quietly until you were alone with Papa.

A moment of silence passed between you both; Secondo had so much he wished to say to you, so many apologies and regrets he'd practised so often in the last eight years but they all vanished when your eyes fell on his. He saw the fear in them; it reminded him of that night.

"I... It's... You look well."

That was it? That was all he could say to you?

You drew in a deep breath, allowing yourself a second of composure before clasping your hands together in front of you and masking your disappointment and hurt with a business-like demeanour.

"As do you."

"How have you been?" he asks, although it's cold and merely to fill a silence.

"Busy. Yourself?" you mimic his tone; you'd rather be anywhere but here right now.

"Troppo (me too)."

You nodded. "Congratulations. "Papa"... what you always wanted," you forced a smile, gesturing at the robes and mitre he adorned.

"Ah, sí, sí..." he kicked at the titles at his feet, shuffling as he stared down at them awkwardly. "Sorella, I-"

"It was good to see you, Papa," his head snapped up at the use of his title, it sounding foreign and wrong coming from you. "Now if you'll excuse me..." you dismissed yourself, bowing your head to him slightly and gathering your notebook and pen before making your way out of the meeting room. Secondo stared after you, lost with his apology he'd finally found and mustered up the courage to deliver still dangling from the tip of his tongue.

Tagging: @her-satanic-wiles

[spacelazarwolf]

I haven’t SEEN you talk about this but I absolutely could be wrong so if that’s the case I apologize and understand you passing over this ask.

Um this ask is maybe more a small vent than anything with like….a point? But there’s a post going around, popped up on my dash a lot today and yesterday, about decoupling gendered language from pregnancy and reproductive rights language. The post is the tumblr OP responding to an original twitter post about the issue and it goes something like “something something this is why I stand with my trans sisters” which there is obviously nothing inherently wrong with that!!! Stand with our trans sisters pls!! They need support and solidarity without any qualifiers!!!

But the notes are filled with, including addendums from tumblr op, response after response saying “trans men, trans mascs and non binary ppl can talk about this but don’t center yourself; talking over women and trans femmes is so tiring to deal with” and I’m just.

I’m tired of being angry and bitter ya know? I’m tired of feeling angry at my own community and then feeling guilty about it and then feeling angrier bc I’m feeling guilty. I’m so damn tired.

i feel like this one is especially ridiculous bc like????????? i'm sorry but PREGNANCY??????? an issue that literally does not affect trans people who don't have a uterus???????????????? like i'm sorry but this is a case where it's trans women and femmes and other trans people who don't have a uterus need to not be talking over trans men and mascs and other trans people who do have a uterus. like that's just fucking insane what the fuck. like i'm so tired of this environment we've created where trans women are the ultimate authorities on literally anything that could possibly affect any trans person at all, and that's how you get situations like laverne cox having to apologize for erasing trans men in conversations about abortion and having to admit that her first response was to seek solidarity with cis women rather than stand up for trans people who can get pregnant because it makes the conversation more "complicated." and like that's a situation in which an apology was actually given! usually it's just "fuck you i care more about cis women's comfort than your existence because they're the ones i want validation from, not you." it just fucking sucks.

[alittledizzy]

Hi, I have zero knowledge of dream and george and stuff other than enjoying you talking about them, Can you explain to me whats going on and why people hate dream all of a sudden?I'm am nosy ngl and also he seems like a good guy from when you talk about him?!

he is a good guy, tbh. i will stand by that unless something happens in the future that gives me genuine reason to rethink my opinion.

as far as why people hate him - it's not all of a sudden, it's been a slown burn over the past year. i have a few reasons why i think it.

but the main theories:

he was very, very, very successful. and anyone that is very successful and ends up on a pedestal subsequently ends up with groups of people that want to see that pedestal crumble and the person fall. i think the anti base simply began with thinking if he got that successful he deserved to not be, out their favorite streamer deserved it instead. he also cheated at minecraft, so there's that. (but if you want a full blow by blow of why the cheating wasn't intentional - and that has been verified by third parties - that's gonna need to be a separate post.) also isn't it a funny sentence to even say. "Cheated at Minecraft." i know i have the perspective of not being in the fandom at the time it happened but it's so unserious. but it did impact public perception.

some streamers just hate him because his audience is full of women and queer people and dream himself is not straight. i would say these are more strictly outside of the mc community but it still also impacted public perception. dream is also very vocally appreciative of the fanbase he does have.

he made the careers of many people and those people became resentful for being known for being part of the thing dream made. they turned bitter wanting to be known for their own projects instead. those people express that bitterness toward dream and the dsmp and then their fans take cues from that and ramp them up to eleven, like it's a personal vendetta it is their responsibility to carry out.

he has been accused of things that are not true and do not stand up to the least bit of scrutiny. but the internet is a game of telephone and sometimes all it takes is one person whispering in the ear of another person for something to be considered fact in the realm of common knowledge, when it's just not and never was true. the most recent example of this is when a small content creator - eighteen himself, and drunk when he tweeted it - said dream took an 18 year old girl to his hotel room to get drunk at vidcon. the facts: the hotel room was a master suite so no one was in a bedroom, it had a living room. they had an open room party for their friends where they played board games. a friend of dream's asked if they could bring a friend of theirs along and that friend of a friend happened to be a eighteen year old content creator. she was not invited by dream, she was not given alcohol specifically by dream, she was never alone with dream, and the most important fact: she herself was not uncomfortable because she asked if she could come back the next night. the girl in question asked the cc that made the accusation to take the tweets down and he issued an apology the next morning saying he didn't have the facts right. but what will people that hate dream remember from this? he had an eighteen year old drinking in his hotel room, with none of the context. so this scenario times a dozen times over the past years eroded his reputation.

upset and confusion over dream's public response to technoblade's death. i think that dream hero-worshipped techno and when he died dream did what dream does and reached out to try and help. he clearly became close to techno's family, including visiting with them and working with them on projects and - according to technodad himself - offering invaluable behind the scenes support. i think other content creators were closer to techno himself and probably feel upset and put out that dream's grief is so public and recieves more attention because when dream cares for someone he just wants everyone to appreciate that person. i don't think that's dream's fault, but i can also understand how someone that knew techno better privately might be upset.

[ladymorghul]

Hot Take: Alicent’s characterization from Episode 8+9 should have been her characterization during episodes 6+7 (up until the eye incident), where she was still trying to make some sort of peace while also trying to protect her kids.

Her characterization in episodes 6+7 should have been her final characterization. Scheming and working more actively against Rhaenyra and undermining her. Calling her out during small council meetings and giving her the stink eye and more actively making her kids aware of the danger (with them getting her concerns since it would be after Aemond lost his eye).

It just feels like they went backward instead of forward. That last bit isn’t a hot take. But still.

i don't feel like this is a hot take because it's... very real

i'm sorry but no amount of arguments will ever make me not believe that episode 8 alicent was a mess, writing wise

i mean think about it: alicent is groomed by her father and rhaenyra's father, rhaenyra's father decides he wants to marry her, rhaenyra is upset with her and stops talking to her for 3 years. at this point alicent is still trying to reach out. she's been through the hell that must have been the beginning of her marriage alone, she gave birth alone, she underlines herself that she doesn't have many friends (which is weird, and another decisionTM by the writers), rhaenyra never tries to call out her father for picking her best friend and is likely more upset with alicent even though she is aware alicent's position is a unpleasant one ("it bothers you does it not?" "laena is your daughter princess, does it bother you?" "of course it does")

so if anyone is blaming a woman for the deeds of a man first, it's rhaenyra. at no point after that even during their good times does she try to help alicent. to me it's always been a friendship where alicent gives and rhaenyra receives. it's alicent who always thinks of her and wants to go back.

and then of course comes the lie that makes her look like a fool and she loses the only family member she had at court with her. even when that man wasn't having her own mental health as his priority, she still depended on him as being the only one in her corner, even if it was for his own benefit. she's all alone, for a long time. she grows bitter, and rightfully so. i think for me the point of no return would have long before that but i digress.

by this time it's obvious rhaenyra's children as bastards, harwin makes it a done deal too, and after years and after all of that rhaenyra thinks of making an offer: marry your only daughter to my son who is obviously a bastard. she refuses, everyone is like omg "don't you see how hard rhaenyra tries?" eyeroll etc etc

then episode 7 happens with aemond and well, that should be a done deal for anyone right? it would be for me. i think i'd rather chew glass than think of rhaenyra as a friend at that point. emma was right, alicent is gaslighted and dare i add humiliated in front of an entire room of people. her son loses his eye, rhaenyra asks for even more of him, viserys couldn't care less and in the end it is still alicent and her sons that get threatened by viserys.

by that point i would be planning big, violent things

it is unrealistic to me that alicent still holds and treats rhaenyra with kidness in episode 8, that she has kind words for her, that she does so without being given an apology for aemond, especially after daemon and vaemond. imo it is unrealistic. she should have been scheming the biggest scheme.

this isn't a woman turned into an evil caricature, this is a normal reaction to living in a hostile environment with a hostile family that does not regard you or your children with love or respect.

unfortunately alicent is being largely written in a way to tell rhaenyra's story so she has to have such deep love for her that is bigger than for anyone else because the writers need to show how special rhaenyra is and how much they love her through alicent. as a character, she's forever tied at the ankle to rhaenyra and the narrative is largely written to punish alicent for not choosing rhaenyra. this is also tied to jaehaera having to die and the "sins of our father" trope.

no matter how we like the green characters and their potential, the writers largerly care more about team black characters and have striped alicent of much of her ambition.

it is silly to write alicent as a character that only finds out in episode 9 that "the council" was planning to instill her son as king. it is silly to write alicent as choosing to crown her son and by extension declare war literally.... overnight. it is silly further for her to do it or push the idea that just before he died, viserys whispered of aegon ii.

of course that is the story we're given, but it is ultimately not a great story for alicent hightower and they could have done so much better, but they were mainly focused on writing daemon and rhaenyra and that's about it.

but yeah, i totally agree. anything positive from alicent past episode 7, especially in the manner in which she acted during the dinner in episode 8, is unrealistic imo.

[lunardragon00]

Supernatural (Hongjoong x Reader) preview

Eternal Sunshine Masterlist

A/N: Hey guys, so sorry about the long wait. I've had a lot going on recently and my time was completely all over the place. But, I am back and plan to continue these stories!!! As an apology, here's a snippet of Supernatural that will be posted later this week, Enjoy!

Y/N hesitated, weighing her options. "I'm sorry, I'm a bit confused. You want me to write the strike story and the fashion story?" She questioned him. He leaned back and laughed a bit. 

"Oh no no no, the striker's story will be given to Jongho. I want your focus to be on Mr. Kim. Don't worry, you'll still have 3 weeks to get the story done." Y/N felt a surge of frustration rising within her as Mr. Johnson clarified the assignment. She had poured countless hours into researching and preparing the striker's story, only to have it snatched away in an instant. And now, she was being thrust into a world she knew little about – the world of high fashion.

"But sir," she began, trying to keep her voice steady despite the annoyance bubbling beneath the surface, "I've been working on the striker's story for weeks. I've invested a lot of time and effort into it. I don't think it's fair to just pass it on to someone else."

Mr. Johnson leaned forward, his expression serious. "I understand your frustration, Miss L/N, but this is a decision that's come from higher up. The opportunity to cover Kim Hongjoong's rise to fame is too important for us to pass up. And I believe you're the right person for the job."

Y/N gritted her teeth, her annoyance growing with each passing moment. She knew Mr. Johnson had a point – opportunities like this didn't come around often – but that didn't make it any easier to accept.

"And what about Jongho?" she asked, unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice. "He's going to be thrilled about getting the striker's story handed to him on a silver platter. He's going to see this as a victory over me."

Mr. Johnson sighed, rubbing his temples as if trying to ward off an impending headache. "I know Jongho can be... competitive," he admitted, "but this decision wasn't made to pit the two of you against each other. It was made because I believe both of you are capable of handling these assignments. And I trust that you'll rise to the challenge."

Y/N clenched her fists, her frustration reaching its boiling point. She knew arguing further would be futile; Mr. Johnson had made up his mind. With a resigned nod, she forced herself to accept the assignment, pushing aside her annoyance for the time being.

"Fine," she muttered, her tone curt. "I'll do it."

Mr. Johnson offered her a sympathetic smile. "I know this isn't what you had in mind, Y/N, but I promise you won't regret it. Now, go meet with Hongjoong and see where this story takes you. Who knows? You might just discover a whole new world waiting to be explored."

With a heavy sigh, Y/N rose from her seat, her mind already racing with thoughts of the daunting task ahead. As she left Mr. Johnson's office, she couldn't shake the feeling of resentment lingering in the air. But she knew she had no choice but to tackle the assignment head-on, no matter how much she wished things had turned out differently.

"This is such bullshit, I mean I worked day and night on that stupid article. I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into it and now it's going to just be handed off to Jongho. And now, I have to write and article about some random guy from nowhere land. It's an insult, seriously." Y/N stirred the pot of pasta on the stove as she spoke. 

"I'm sorry hun, that sucks. But hey, maybe it won't be so bad, he could be a cool guy." Her friend, Wooyoung, trying to offer sympathy to her. Y/N huffed, her frustration still evident. 

"I highly doubt it. He's just some fashion designer, probably full of himself and his fancy clothes. What could I possibly have in common with him?" She saw Wooyoung shrug through the camera, his expression thoughtful. "You never know until you give it a chance. And who knows? This assignment could lead to something unexpected. Maybe you'll find a new passion, or even make a new friend."

Y/N rolled her eyes, but a small part of her couldn't help but entertain the possibility. "Yeah, right. I highly doubt that." As she continued to stir the pasta, Y/N couldn't shake the feeling of resentment lingering in her chest. But amidst the frustration and disappointment, a tiny spark of curiosity flickered to life. Maybe, just maybe, this assignment would turn out to be more than just a nuisance. Only time would tell.

Story is now Posted: Supernatural

[go-to-the-mirror]

Hello, @a-mag-a-day. Apologies for the deception but I rather wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself. I'm assuming you're alone; you always did prefer to read your statements in private. I wouldn't try too hard to stop reading; there's every likelihood you'll just hurt yourself. So just listen. Now, shall we turn the page and try again?

Statement of landscaping-your-mind regarding episode 160 of The Magnus Archives.

Statement begins.

So, from all the stuff I scheduled for today you can probably tell I really like episode 160 of The Magnus Archives, right? Like, good lord, it is... it is a time. (Also, the words were really good (and also there's poetry) so :D incentive!)

Firstly, though, I have to say something. It's not the Watcher's Crown. The Watcher's Crown is the ritual Jonah Magnus attempted years ago. This is unnamed in canon, but Jonny said it could've been called The Magnus Archives.

Secondly... I would like to draw your attention towards the description of the youtube version of this episode. (to paraphrase)

The Magnus Archive discovers that some escapes are a lot easier than others.

Ahahahahaha AHAHAHAAHAHAH WHAT-

I hate this so much. Like, with a burning passion. "The Magnus Archives discovers that some escapes are a lot easier than others" COME TO MY HOME AND KILL ME YOU COWARD! It just hurts, it just... hurts.

He can escape London, but he can't escape his ✨ purpose ✨

You ever think about how The Magnus Archives follows the story of Magnus' Archive? I do. A lot. I haven't even started listening yet, god, this episode am I right?

MARTIN (Joking) Or, (huffed laugh) or it is, and she just cleaned it up really well. (They both make uncomfortable chuckles) ARCHIVIST …Yes. (The Archivist makes an uneasy noise)

THEYRE BOTH SO AWKWARD THEY HAVEN'T TALKED TO A NORMAL HUMAN IN OVER A YEAR

Just their really awkward laughter, oh my godd they're so endearing your honour, I'm so glad this episode and TMA ends at the 5 minute mark (< in denial)

ARCHIVIST Hopefully a long way out there. (soft) But I think we’re okay

THEY ARE IN LOVE YOUR HONOUR

I just love how soft Jon's voice gets around Martin, like, like, eeeee i just love them i love them they're the reason im aro bc i know i will never love someone romantically as much as jmart loves each other /j

MARTIN Oh, n-no, not yet. I was actually gonna head down into the village to go pick something up?

Ooooh yay I get to share my "where are they in scotland" headcanons! I think they're near Dunnet, because it's pretty far north and in the Highland area, and it's also got allegedly the only full time gunshop north of Inverness, and... yknow, it is Daisy's safehouse.

ARCHIVIST Anyway, don’t tell me the phonebox down there doesn’t appeal to your retro aesthetic.

your honour they're lightheartedly teasing each other <3

ARCHIVIST I’ll be fine.

SOFT!

(update im wrtinging with a cat on my lap now hes big. im balancing my computer on my leg.)

MARTIN I assume it’s her attempt at a- a, a varied diet? Eating your greens, you know? ARCHIVIST (Amused) Probably. (reassured) I’m sure it’ll work fine

hhh them <3 it's just like they're so... they're happy. they're so happy, and it's like nothing gold will stay or whatever

they had such a short amount of time

i wish they were ok

MARTIN …I will give you some privacy. Go for a walk. ARCHIVIST (Warmly) Let me know if you see any good cows. MARTIN Obviously I’m going to tell you if I see any good cows.

I'm...

them being happy is almost worse, right. because what once was a surprise we now know will happen, we have to deal with the dread, and it's all bitter now, the happiness is rotten because of what lurks after.

some people can listen to the first five minutes and feel okay, but me?

for me it just hurts.

ARCHIVIST (CONT’D) (Pleasantly) Statement of Hazel Rutter regarding a fire in her childhood home. Original statement given August 9th, 1992. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, The Archivist. Statement begins.

He sounded so happy... he sounded so happy.

This is the first time he's happy before he reads a statement. He was happy, he was hiding from the police and the hunters and Daisy and Not!Sasha with his boyfriend in Scotland. And then, and then Jonah Magnus comes in and decides to end the world like a bastard.

I don't want to hit play. I don't want to know what comes next. I want to stop listening. I want Jon and Martin to be okay. I want it to be the real statement of Hazel Rutter.

I just want it to be the real statement of Hazel Rutter.

I get it, right, horror tragedy! This was the desired effect. I am supposed to be feeling these emotions. These emotions being very sad. Well done to Jonny, lovely writing. Fantastic! I love TMA with my whole heart. I think that it's fantastic. I don't want to hit play though. I'm here for the characters suffering, I got in through The Hermit Archives, I wanted more of the horror! I am here for suffering! I'm here for the suffering. I'm hitting play.

Statement of Jonah Magnus regarding Jonathan Sims, The Archivist. Statement begins.

He could have just ended the world. Like, the whole... forcing Jon to monologue about all the times he was manipulated into furthering Jonah's plan? That's fucked. That is fucked. Just put the ritual there you slimy piece of shit!

It’s rare that you get the chance to monologue through the voice of another, and you can’t tell me you’re not curious.

*me to my dog, in the "talking to a dog" voice* You wanna kill him too! Hey! You wanna kill him too!

Like, okay, so you're Jon and you're reading this statement and you can't stop, and this bastard says "you can't tell me you're not curious." Tell me that's not going to make him think that if he tried a little harder then he would've been able to stop reading. Tell me that's not going to make him think that a part of him wanted to end the world, and that's why he's still reading. Tell me that's not going to make him blame himself even more.

The only way to ensure I did not suffer the tribulations of what I believed to be an inevitable transformation was to bring it about myself.

He's so bloody arrogant. He puts himself above the entire world. It makes sense, he's from Regency era England, but like, it's still... really awful. Awful person.

Beyond that, I was getting older, and mortality began to weigh more heavily on my mind. How much in this world is done because we fear death, the last and greatest terror?

When I fear death I distract myself, not try to end the world. Like, this guy is just so evil. His only redeeming quality is being funny sometimes.

Everyone dies, Jack Magnet, you just chose to be a bastard about it.

Of course, I had to make sure the location was kept under my control while I worked on revising my plans, and so I moved the organization I had founded to assist in my research down to London, and the Institute as you know it, was born.

Right, so The Magnus Protocol's Magnus Institute was located in Manchester, and I'm not an expert on the geography of the United Kingdom, and basically know nothing about Manchester, bar that it has the... football, I want to say, team Manchester United? I don't know how I know that. But it seems as though Jonah Magnus didn't attempt his ritual, or attempted it some other way in that universe.

You see, the role of Archivist has been part of the Beholding for as far back as my research can go. This isn’t uncommon for the Powers; most of the beliefs around them are guesswork and fallible human interpretation, but there are certain through lines and consistencies that can be spotted, regardless of the trappings.

I wonder what the others are. The Dancer could be one - The Dancer in The Unknowing. I think Jonny said in a QnA, but you know, the author is dead, he's speaking to us posthumously, that The Architect could have been one. Not sure what others. If y'all have any ideas... 👀

More than once I thought she must secretly be of the Hunt; but there was never that sick joy in her, that thrill of predator and prey. She had simply decided that this was her position in life, and went about it with a practicality that even I found disconcerting at times.

Ok, Mr. Jonah "orchestrates twelve traumatising events for this one guy and gets him to end the world" Magnus. He cannot talk, he cannot talk at all. Sure, she sacrificed people, but she wasn't malicious. She did it for a cause. Did she believe she was good? I'm not sure she cared.

Jonah Magnus is just awful for his own self gain.

You see, the thing about the Fears is that they can never be truly separated from each other. When does the fear of sudden violence transition into the panic of hunted prey? When does the mask of the Stranger become the deception of the Spiral? Even those that seem to exist in direct opposition rely on each other for their definition as much as up relies on down. To try and create a world with only the Buried makes as much sense as trying to conceive a world with only down.

Gerry's colour explanation makes a lot of sense if you don't conceive of it as a traditional colour wheel. They're growing out in every direction, they all overlap with each other.

Sure, the fear of The Eye may seem in direct opposition to the fear of The Stranger, but let's take Jon, for instance. Is it not sort of Stranger to have some guy in a coffee shop staring at you with his autistic eyes, a person you don't know, but who definitely knows you?

What about the fear of The Buried and the fear of The Vast. Episode 195 covers that pretty handily. They're all interconnected with all of the others. Separating them makes them easier to understand (and invertedly makes them actually separated), but it isn't them, not truly. They are connected intrinsically.

Even the coffin! The fear of being alone in the dark is a part of the coffin.

Because the thing about the Archivist is that, well, it’s a bit of a misnomer. It might, perhaps, be better named: The Archive. Because you do not administer and preserve the records of fear, Jon. You are a record of fear, both in mind as you walk the shuddering dread of each statement, and in body as the Powers each leave their mark upon you. You are a living chronicle of terror.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about this. The Archivist is something... defined by how they feed their patron, but The Archive is defined by how they've been hurt to bring it into the world. He's not defined by even a person-like role, he's something molded by Jonah Magnus' desires to end the world.

I wrote a little poem about it, which I shall share here, because I am cringe but I am free, unlike Jon. RIP

He's not a person with a name, He's a vessel of destruction, He's not a person who feels pain, It's necessary for production, That he's scarred and marked, By things that lurk in the dark, Believe himself useless, Or it'll be fruitless, And at the end of the day, He's no person, no name, He's a plan that has come to fruition.

Also, he calls himself The Archivist, perhaps viewing himself as... something that hurts others, rather than something that is hurt for a purpose.

I’ll admit, my options were somewhat limited, but my god, when you came to me already marked by the Web, I knew it had to be you. I even held out some small hope you had been sent by the Spider as a sort of implicit blessing on my whole project and, do you know what, I think it was.

"I chose you" "I'll admit, my options were somewhat limited" Mr. Magnet, he was chosen by the web. Jonah's just not afraid to be puppeted.

So, when Jane Prentiss attacked, I watched eagerly, one hand on the gas release from the start.

This line fucked me up. "One hand on the gas release from the start." Just... like it just sticks in my mind. How he held all their lives in the palm of his hand, how he let Sasha die, and Tim get eaten by worms, because he wanted his bloody perfect Archive.

One hand on the gas release from the start, while all of them almost - or did - die(d).

Like, what gets me is how fucked up Jon was afterwards, how he was asking everyone for their statements, shutting them up before they got to the part where they'd mention Jon and Tim getting eaten with worms. What gets me is how Elias was there and Jon was what, looked like a bloody mummy! He didn't have second thoughts when he saw...

He knew everything. He saw everything. He saw how fucked up Jon was over e v e r y t h i n g. (everything)

That's what gets me.

Between the stabbing and at least two desperate flights into its door, you’re marked very deep by the Spiral.

And, you know, the manipulation, the gaslighting, the betrayal. I saw an interesting post on this, but I can't seem to find it. I'll look in the posts I've rbed tagged TMA meta, I'll link it in a reblog if I find it.

Honestly, I had nothing to do with Melanie and her Slaughter adventure, but when I saw the situation, I made sure to trap her here, so whenever her rage bubbled over you were right there, a ready target.

You know after Jon's second kidnapping that could have totally been resolved how Jonah made Jon stand in front of Melanie while she wanted to kill Jonah with a knife, and how it's like oh, right, yeah, use Jon as a bloody meat shield to get her angry at him, make him the scapegoat, that was intentional. It was intentional to destroy everyone in the Archives' interpersonal relationships, and then have Jon. A ready target for hatred and vitriol.

How is Martin, by the way? He looks well. You will keep an eye on him when all this is over, won’t you? He’s earned that.

I think that Jonah Magnus should eat shit and die.

The power of the Ceaseless Watcher flows through you, and the time of our victory is here.

If you replace the Ceaseless Watcher with Determination then it reads like an Undertale save.

* The power of Determination flows through you, and the time of our victory is here.

Don’t worry, Jon. You’ll get used to it here, in the world that we have made.

This also ties in with the above, I hate that he says "our victory" "the world that we have made." Jon didn't consent to this, Jon didn't want this, Jon was made to be an unwilling conduit of the apocolypse and Jonah Magnus is insinuating that he chose it, the victim blaming little prick!

You who watch and know and understand none. You who listen and hear and will not comprehend. You who wait and wait and drink in all that is not yours by right. Come to us in your wholeness. Come to us in your perfection. Bring all that is fear and all that is terror and all that is the awful dread that crawls and chokes and blinds and falls and twists and leaves and hides and weaves and burns and hunts and rips and bleeds and dies! Come to us. I OPEN THE DOOR!

GREAT INCANTATION! 10/10! And it's actually recitable, unlike the TBI one.

ARCHIVIST Look at the sky, Martin. Look at the sky. It’s looking back.

That is a fucking fantastic final line of the episode. All of it, four seasons leading up to this moment. Look at the sky. It's looking back.

Fuck dude!

(The Archivist begins a fractured, delirious, humourless, laugh that does not end)

That laugh.

That laugh is just... haunting. I love it so much. It makes me want to cry. I used to have it saved on my phone and I'd just listen to it over and over and over again and get more and more disturbed and heartbroken.

That laugh. That broken, horrific laugh.

I can't get over it.

And thus ends season 4 of The Magnus Archives. With a broken laugh in front of a window, leading out to the doomed world.

Episode 160 is quite possibly my favourite metaplot episode of The Magnus Archives, the way the whole plan was revealed, the awful manipulations that were exposed... that laugh.

I leave you all to think on this. To think on the Archive née the Archivist née Jonathan Sims, laughing at the world he has unwillingly and unwittingly doomed.

Goodnight, a-mag-a-day, goodnight. /ref

[poindexters-labratory]

Uhhhm, vent, I guess? I'm just trying to put my feelings into words because it bridges that gap between my thoughts and verbalizing.

Um, there's a bit of a breakdown, and I start talking to myself. Also, talking about emotional trauma. I just kinda wanted to get out somewhere. Sorry to use a public platform, but I don't really have a safe person to rely on.

I'm a very slow thinker. I always have been. I'm not witty or able to absorb information very quickly. I can pretend like I do, and it seems like I do, but my mannerisms and patterns of speech are a result of me desperately trying to keep up. Trying to keep my head above water.

My processing speed has always made me vulnerable. I can't keep up fast enough in open conversation when it comes to groups of people. On top of that, I have mild deafness in an ear on top of autism and ADHD, which makes audio processing extremely difficult. Over time, I've learned to become agreeable, easy to manage, and quiet.

But that life gets lonely. Listening in on conversations you'd like to be a part of, being the last one included, the last one invited, the last one considered, the first one abandoned. I wouldn't say that the experience has made me bitter or cold, but I do have some level of expected disappointment. And I get stressed when there's no attention put on me.

I've always been the kid who has been overlooked in class or at home. My family hardly knows what I want for my birthday, I don't have close friends, even when I like to say that everyone I talk with is my friend, I don't have a best friend. Everyone deserves to have a best friend, right?

It sucks to feel like I should apologize for being sensitive, for being quiet, for being naive, but I am. I feel like I'm no fun as a person. I'm literal, and we're living in an age where all our insecurities are hidden behind a layer of sarcasm and jokes that I just can't seem to wrap my head around. I'm easily scared by the jokes people say.

Not to mention traumatized from a life in an emotionally unstable environment. Terrified that if I made the tiniest mistake, the people around me would blow up in my face.

I weep for the child who learned how to open his school binder silently in class or hide in his room to avoid the potential of screaming downstairs.

The child who hid his entire personality for years to avoid conflict.

The child whose lost friend after friend, in every single location he's been to and left.

And I'm enraged. I had no other choice. And I'm scared. All my life, I've taught myself that if I just shut up, then no one will ever hurt me. If I just shut up, then I'll be safe from everyone.

"I'm too stupid for conversation anyway, I'm too slow to be a part of a group, to have a seat at the table, and I will finally be safe because the only things anyone has ever been interested in are shoving things that in the way and stepping on things that are too small."

That is a horrible thing for a child to convince himself of.

All of this is probably why I have NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). I convince myself on especially bad days that I'm obviously just better even though I consciously know it not to be true, and everyone is jealous, and that's why no one is talking to you. I have this deep desire to be admired in impossible ways, and I struggle immensely when I have absolutely no attention.

I need people to love me. I shouldn't give a reason because if I was loved and given attention properly, then we would be here.

"Am I really that awful? I can't possibly be. I'm positively normal and well-mannered and polite. I'm almost too nice. Sickeningly sweet. If people see how good I can be, then there's no reason why they wouldn't want to be my friend, right?

But I don't want to be too overbearing. I don't want to be too chatty. People hate people who talk too much. Especially when they talk about the same thing for hours. Especially when they can't take the joke. Don't be so serious, don't be so concerned, just fade into the background, and be as unremarkable as possible.

But I'd like to be noticed. I want that attention. I want the attention for saying something, doing something. Make the conversation about me, talk to me. Please talk to me, don't you see me? Don't you know how cool and remarkable I am, I can do all these amazing things, and I know all this information. Won't you like me?"

I also expect people to read my mind because that's what I do for them. I wait and pray that someone will notice the person sitting in the corner by himself. It hasn't quite worked yet.

So, now I imagine myself sitting in a field surrounded by people rushing around me. And I'm waiting. I've been sitting in this field for a while, envious of the people who walk by with someone in tow. I would like to be someone's someone.

It would be a lie if I said I didn't think about it often. I'm not interested in romance, I just want someone to be silly with, who I'm safe with, who likes to fool around sometimes, who's just there with me. Hell, it doesn't have to be one person. I just love people. An extrovert who's all alone is so depressingly ironic.

I don't have the answers or the steps to find the answer, but I know that it will unfortunately take time. Life will continue, and I will continue it by myself until I fortunately don't have to anymore. Until I won't be alone anymore. I feel like it will take as much time as it needs to.

[specialinterestshows]

Find out the conclusion of Finn and Damian’s talk in this latest chapter of my Rhea Ripley x lady!reader fic. (Also how did this get to fifty chapters???)

Warnings for this section: Cannabis (weed), dirty talk

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Absolute Smokeshow (Part 50 of ?): The Other Side

“I’m sure they’ll be back any minute,” you reassure JD with a smile as he checks his phone again for what must be the tenth time since you noticed him doing it. Knowing the advice you gave Damian might change whatever it was JD had with Finn made you feel more than a little bit guilty.

"You're probably right," JD sighed, eyes fixed on the parking lot, expression unchanging - anxious and a bit sad.

Looking back at Dominik and Rhea for help, you notice her whispering things in his ear, making him blush. Turning back to JD, you do your best to try and take his mind off Finn.

"So, are you a wrestler too?" you ask, unable to see any muscle due to the somewhat loose nature of clothes that covered both his arms and his legs.

"Have been for years," JD replied, finally actually looking over at you, "Are you?"

You laugh, "No, not even a little bit. Just had the good fortune to meet and end up with a wrestler." A smile makes its way onto your face, but JD's expression is still uneasy despite maintaining eye contact.

"Wish I had more bud to offer you," is all you can think to say, smile fading a bit, "Looks like you could use it."

"Ah, that stuff makes me paranoid anyway," he responds, waving a hand.

"Have you ever tried CBD?" you ask, not giving up on keeping him - and, being entirely honest, yourself - distracted.

"What's that?" JD asks warily.

"It's the part of weed that makes you calm and relieves pain," you explain, "Some places sell CBD by itself; so if you wanted to try smoking without the paranoia, you could also smoke or eat some CBD when you smoke weed in order to stay calm. Or you could try the CBD by itself, especially as a balm for any pains you might have to recover from after a match!"

"I had no idea," JD says, actually sounding interested for the first time during your conversation, "I'll have to look around for some and give it a try!"

"What are we trying?" Rhea's sultry voice asks, surprisingly close to your ear as she moves to rest her chin on your shoulder - startling you a little, but mostly making your face warm.

"C-B-D?" JD says hesitantly, looking at you, "Did I get that right?"

You nod carefully so as not to run into Rhea, making JD grin.

"Oh," Rhea says, sounding somewhat disappointed.

"Nothing nearly as sexy as you might hope, babe," you say apologetically, gently leaning your head against hers.

"I dunno," JD says, "No paranoia and less pain after matches? Sounds pretty sexy to me."

Rhea snorts at the comment as you laugh.

"Feels like I'm always late for the punchline," Damian's voice made everyone look up. His hair was slightly disheveled, he was calmer than you had seen him all day, and there was something else different about him that you couldn't quite place.

"What are you doing wearing that shirt," JD asked, looking down at the purple X on the black shirt stretched tightly across Damian's chest, voice trembling with growing rage, "And where is the man it belongs to?"

"Lo siento," Damian apologized, "But this was given to me freely" - he tugged a bit on the collar of the shirt, drawing attention to what could only be a hickey on his neck - "And Finn is fine, don't worry."

The smile Damian couldn't seem to suppress only seemed to make JD more impatient.

"Where. Is. He." JD demanded to know, getting closer.

"Still back in the rental car, I think," Damian replied, making JD's expression slowly dial back to bitter resentment - but it was Damian's next comment that made JD look completely heartbroken, "I tired him out pretty quickly and he might need a minute to recover."

Not saying a word, JD pulled a few bills out of his pocket, set them under his plate on the table, and walked off dejectedly. The guilt pierced you like a dagger as you watched him shuffle away in the direction of the parking lot.

"No fucking way," Rhea says after JD is out of earshot, "You and Finn finally got together?!"

"Thanks to your girlfriend," Damian replies, grinning harder. The happiness he exuded made you feel a bit less guilty.

"I'm glad things worked out!" you say, trying to put your feelings aside to let Damian enjoy his moment.

"So what you guys did in the car," Dominik addresses Damian, "... Details?"

"Dirty boy," Rhea scolds Dom, "You too, Priest. Finn better have the windows down; I am not driving for hours in a car that smells like sex."

"You didn't seem to have a problem with it after you and Dom had that quickie and thought Finn and I wouldn't notice," Damian countered.

Rhea smiled at the memory and kissed Dominik’s cheek before checking the time and sighing.

“We should start heading to the next location,” she said, sounding less than excited.

“Thanks for everything, babe,” you tell Rhea, holding up your gift bag and winking, “I’ll send you a picture of me with this on once I get home.”

Rhea pulls you into a hug and whispers “good slut” before pressing her lips against yours. A wave of lust washes over you as she quickly grabs your ass and bites your lip before pulling away and letting you say goodbye to the other two. Dominik seems surprised when you pull him in for a hug as well, the heat radiating from his face as you pull away. Hugging Damian requires you to jump up a bit, making him laugh and spin you around before saying, “Thanks again, chica. I’m sure Finn would say the same if he wasn’t so proud” - he looks back at the parking lot briefly - “and also probably asleep.”

[end part fifty of ?]

Part 51: https://www.tumblr.com/specialinterestshows/730125705350873088/absolute-smokeshow-part-51-of-a-prince-and

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Tag List (thank you!)

@cherryberryshine , @littlemiss-fanficlover , @elisewithak , @babybatlover , @girlofpink , @kagome2909 , @domlynch

[stoookes]

Headcanon that Pat cheats on VK with Mitch again, during the 2023 Ashes 😈 Pat's so guilty after it happens, because the first time it happened, he at least had a nominal excuse, his marriage with VK was new, neither of them wanted it and they didn't know each other that well. This time, he has nothing in his favour. The past ten years have been idyllic, him and VK have really clicked after overcoming their rough phase, and there's no shortage of passion in their sex life. There's literally no reason for Pat to get dissatisfied and look for satisfaction elsewhere this time.

He hopes VK hasn't found out about his transgression, because deep down, he knows his husband won't forgive the same mistake twice. He thinks of a life without VK and finds out he doesn't want a life like that, he can't imagine waking up without his omega in his arms. Then he thinks of a life where he wakes up where Mitch is in his arms, his head nuzzled against his chest, and he wants it so much he aches. He's not sure which life he wants more. It's disgusting of him to wish so, but secretly, he wishes that VK never finds out about this, never suspects a thing. He wants to go on with VK being blissfully unaware of everything, waiting for Pat at home with a smile on his face and warm dinner on the table. And he can restart his affair with Mitch on the side, because by God, he can't stay away from his teammate, their connection is undeniably electric for that. It's selfish and insensitive, but Pat wants the best of both worlds-- an omega husband at home and an alpha to warm his bed on tours.

VK finds out though. When Pat gets back from the 2023 ashes, VK is standing in the hallway, a suitcase of his things next to him. And the moment Pat sees him, he knows he's lost him forever. He apologizes, begs, pleads, and grovels but VK doesn't listen to a single thing. He walks right out of the house and doesn't look back. A week later, Pat gets a notice from VK's lawyer, that he's filing for divorce. It's unrefined, but Pat resorts to threats to get VK to stay, because although his actions don't show it, he loves the omega too much to lose him. "You know your career is over if you go through with the divorce, right?"

VK laughs-- it's a cold, bitter sound. "I can't believe you've sunk so low as to pull that on me. But I should have seen it coming. I really can't put anything past you, can I? My career is my problem. I'll find a way around it. And for the record, I'd take losing my career over having my dignity compromised every time I'm with you."

True enough, VK DOES manage to find a way around losing his career. Of course, the BCCI pull out that card as soon as they hear of the divorce, but VK's incredible skills, raw talent and public popularity give him immunity that is usually not given to an omega. It helps that his friends-- Rohit, Shubman, KL, Hardik, Jasprit, Rishabh, Siraj, Shami-- practically the rest of the team threaten to resign themselves if the BCCI sack VK. In the end, the board has to give in.

Pat tries to get VK back. He flies to Delhi, and nearly pounds down the omega's door. VK opens it, only to slap his ex-husband across the face, hard, before slamming the door right back in Pat's face. Later, Pat seethes with impotent rage when he discovers that VK's blocked him on every social media platform, as well as placed a restraining order against him.

Pat kindles a proper relationship with Mitch. He's happy, he supposes. Of course sometimes he wishes that VK was still his. Of course, sometimes, he wonders how life would be like if he hadn't been unfaithful to VK. Of course when they're playing against India, Pat finds himself staring at his ex-husband, admiring his beauty, committing his every curve to memory. Of course Pat feels a surge of uncontrollable jealousy when he sees newspapers publish photos of VK walking hand-in-hand with a New Zealand beta called Kane. When he spots a ring on VK's finger, the following year, he could just about tear Kane's head off. Somehow, Pat never thought that VK could move on from him.

VK finds his happily ever after with Kane. He retires from cricket as the highest ever run-scorer. They get a house in the New Zealand countryside, and live a quiet life, away from the spotlight mostly. Their babies, Shubman and Rachin become best friends. Ten years later, Shubman marries his omega teammate, Ishan at VK and Kane's house. Rachin is Shubi's man of honour. Their best friends are with them. Kane's arm is around VK's waist. VK looks at his family and doesn't think about Pat even once, finally happy and contented.

(well, this got away from me 🫠 I know I made pat very greasy in this, but I love me a "omega takes control of their own life" narrative 🥹)

It's a very interesting idea - not one I'll use in main overse but maybe a spin off? Or if someone else wants to grab this and run please feel free!

A couple of things: firstly, by this point there is absolutely no way VK's career is under threat. If Pat restarts his affair with mitch, no one would protect him from VK's choice. As you said he's got fame in his own right, but also the BCCI marry him off to try and settle him (more on that when the VK/Pat fic starts coming) and for ten years (just under) he's been very settled, the happy little omega they wanted him to be, and playing great cricket. His career is no longer under threat and the BCCI wouldn't try and stop VK getting a divorce.

He's gonna needs some alpha friends to help him get a lawyer to take the case, seeing he's omega, but VK has all the connections he needs.

Loving the happy ending for VK but remember that he's bonded to Pat, so he'd need Pat to break his heats. Do with that what you will, but it's very established lore in my canon so not something that could be negotiated.

[fandomsoda]

Hey, Soda, I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry I gave you false hope for crossmare in the cult au, and I'm sorry that my previous apologies sounded robotic and potentially insincere. I know it's not an excuse, but that's just how I handle things, I try to keep a lot of my emotions out of it in case it gets confusing because emotions can be, well, confusing. I don't want you to be uncomfortable with me, but if you are, I will respect that

I don’t want to be uncomfortable with you. I want us to be ok. I just don’t know how exactly to do that. Because technically I’m fine but I don’t believe that I’ll be able to engage with the cult au anymore which sucks because everything else in it is fun and interesting but you just… keep making everything so unnecessarily dark and cruel and worse.

Everything surrounding this au is good and fun but the nucleus of it, Cross’s story,… is rotten. So bitter and depressing and things just keep getting worse for him and I don’t know why you made it that way. What’s the point of Cross’s suffering? What’s the goal? Where’s the end point? You can take those questions rhetorically if you want to but it would be nice to have at least a vague answer (you don’t have to spoil anything if you don’t want to) because it just feels like a case of “angst for the sake of angst” which is exhausting considering how much of it you already make.

And Nightmare feels… incredibly flat as a character. You gave him one personality trait and it really shows… and that weird careless obsession with Cross just winds up being confusing and making no sense for him and his motivations and just making things overall worse for Cross all over again.

When you asked yesterday about stopping Nightmare’s thing for Cross I didn’t want to say that because it feels like it would be too much of a deviation from what you want and I don’t want to be controlling and I’m not trying to take the wheel here. It’s your story, not mine. But I do have these criticisms. But maybe I’m just being a crybaby again. Maybe I’m stupid for thinking that all this bitterness and angst are getting… redundant. Maybe this isn’t critique and I’m just being fragile. Maybe I just don’t get it yet. I have genuine ideas on how to make things a bit more tonally cohesive but I won’t give those unless you ask for them, I’ve already given enough unsolicited advice and once again I don’t want to be controlling.

I’m not upset with you as a person. I still like you a lot. I wish I could hug you right now, even. I’ve just got weird, strong, conflicting feelings on stuff and surrounding the story. At the end of the day, do what you want, these are just my thoughts. Don’t let me control you. It’s your au, do what you want with it. /gen

[the-era-of-shadow]

Gift of Pity

Written by Ash Rose Red

Summary:

Having heard of a supposed "Project Chaos" taking place with the Pantheon's Plane, with none other than his own brother Light Gaia being heavily involved, the already infamous Dark Gaia decided to investigate this matter. What he would find, however, was not at all what he was expecting - aside from yet another reason to feel bitter towards his fellow deities.

Notes:

So I. I had Dark Gaia speak in Shakespearean English. I am not apologizing for this <3

I thought about telling you who this "Lord of Chaos" is but nah, I'm writing another one of these that'll bluntly answer that so yeah, I am leaving you in the dark here <3

Hearing of this “Project Chaos” that his brother had been a part of had brought Dark Gaia immense curiosity, to which he responded with investigation, leading him to the part of the Pantheon's Plane that the Lord of Chaos called home.

Upon entering his domain, Dark Gaia had seemingly quite immediately made a mistake in his approach, startling the Lord of Chaos rather immensely as he was in the middle of making himself a cup of tea.

“Ah, right, I hath not made an introduction of myself. That is a foul on my part.” He apologized, proceeding to introduce himself to the illusive entity, “Hath I interrupted thou on a matter of importance, friend?”

The Lord of Chaos shook his head.

“Ah, just an afternoon tea break then, eh? May I partake with thee?”

The Lord of Chaos nodded, and began to brew another cup.

“Thou be a quiet type, eh? I do suppose that would be a reasonable conclusion, given thy’s work and lack of sociability. But at least a greeting would suffice, no? Why, if I hath not known better, I’d surmise that thee hath no voice at all!” Dark Gaia speculated, in jest, of course. But when he looked up at the Lord of Chaos, he saw him nod, so simply, so plainly, as if it was a reasonable phenomenon!

“No… Thou art not truthful, right??” Dark Gaia said in disbelief. The Lord of Chaos simply sighed. “Thee Madam Moonshine, who hath put herself on high as greatness itself, created thou with no voice to which to speak?” The Lord of Chaos nodded.

“What travesty! Does she care not for her creations?? To treat thee like a tool, and not a being of sentient form!” Dark Gaia recoiled in disgust. “No wonder we hath not been acquainted before, when it would then perhaps seem that thee is not seen as one worthy of acquaintance!”

“Come to me, Sir Lord of Chaos, with both teas in hand. I shall set the right from the wrong of thee “Great” Madam here and now, before thou’s very eyes!” He continued.

Doing as commanded, the Lord of Chaos grabbed the cups of tea, and carried them over to his sector ‘round the Chaos Emeralds, where Dark Gaia sat.

After he set the cups down, the Lord of Chaos watched as the tip of Dark Gaia’s finger glowed a bright, vibrant purple, and then was submerged into one of the cups of tea, being swirled around for about a few seconds before being pulled back up to the surface.

“Partake in the tea that thine hath enchanted, and thou shall hath a voice to speak with! There hath be no side effects, no drawbacks, consider thee a gift of kindness, art thou surely in need of such.” 

Though he was hesitant at first, the Lord of Chaos took the enchanted cup of tea and sipped from it until the liquid was completely gone. It tasted a bit strange, as if the sensation of a brisk midnight breeze was translated into taste, and it felt soothing, like it tended to a wound in his throat that wasn’t there. After he had finished the tea, the Lord of Chaos began to try to speak for the very first time. The feeling was alien, and at first, all he could utter were unintelligible sounds, but eventually, he managed to get out two, simple words.

“Thank… you…” His voice was scratchy, and yet, had a deep richness to it, like a cup of tea with no sugar or sweeteners; a flavor of its own, hiding behind a bitter twang.

“Why but of course, thou shan't be treated so abhorrently, I do believe!” Dark Gaia proclaimed.

“Why… Why do… you care…?” The Lord of Chaos muttered.

“I care not for the everlasting debate of order or entropy! All is equal, all is of life! As well as this, I too, am evil in the eyes of thine fellow deities, and thus, I shall bless-ed thou with thine presence, in the hope that thou shall find our unity harmonious!” He explained.

“You are… strange… But I… enjoy that…” The Lord of Chaos responded, a soft glimmer of happiness in his eyes.

“Of course thou doth enjoy my strange ways! Thou hath nearly completely come one with thine powers of chaos! I can see such in thou heart!” Dark Gaia exclaimed, which he could tell put the Lord of Chaos at unease once more. “But thou shan’t fear such a fate, no! Thou must embrace it! I feel thee’s pain of hatred, truly! And I sayeth to thee, thou must embrace the evil within to shed such a vicious cycle!”

“Embrace… the evil within..?” The Lord of Chaos echoed anxiously, though he very much considered it in his mind.

“Why yes, of course! But I do envision why such will be a struggle for thee! Taketh the time thou need, I shall be here for whenever thou desire, or require!” Dark Gaia said, gesturing the Lord of Chaos to come sit by his side.

“Thank you… friend…” The Lord of Chaos spoke.

“Yes… we shall… They are… quite… beautiful…”

“Thou art welcome, Sir Lord of Chaos, my friend!” Dark Gaia responded, “Shall we watch the light of the Emeralds? Thee shine quite magnificently, no?”