#apparently bogs can read comics

[zahri-melitor]

Newish Comics:

Batman and Robin #4: I see we are having yet another flashback to Damian's Terrible Childhood (TM). Also narrowing my eyes at Kirk here. Apparently we are back in our Man-Bat being morally ambiguous era (when will my son, Aaron Langstrom, return from the pit on non-existence??)

Look I don't care what reason Williamson comes up with to convince Damian to go to school I'm just happy to see him attending school! He needs it!

Outsiders #2: I still so very much wish they'd used a different title for this comic. Anyway, underwater submersible adventures! Someone had fun reading all the ways the Titan could have been built better, I think.

Speed Force #2: this remains cute and devoted to fun and continuity (aside from the tragic continued squishing of generations together).

Wesley Dodds: The Sandman #3: I think having this as my introductory Riley Rossmo comic is going really well, as I do actually love the dynamism of the art in how this story is told. Also Tom Napolitano as letterer is doing a BUNCH of work even if there's no hand lettering. It's appreciated! Oh the story? I'm enjoying it. I'm reasonably light on JSA knowledge so I'm just enjoying the ride here.

Action Comics #1060: Etrigan! *kicky feet* Also I really do enjoy Otho-Ra. The B and C plots here are both event stories, if I read this right? Events I'm not reading yet.

World’s Finest Teen Titans #6: I love everyone at this bar. I love Roy and Ollie having a moment. I love Wally threatening to start using trick arrows (to Roy’s outrage). I love Garth breaking my heart and Donna comforting him. I love Karen and Mal being adorable together.

And I love Dick’s speech.

You killed once, you’ll do it again. ... But this ‘end always justifies the means’ crap is your Achilles heel.

Love your work, Dick Grayson.

The Warlord #30: This week in Skartaris the Theran Army is invading Shamballah! But Travis is delayed in telling anyone as he has to fight a leopard in a tree! Then his horse has run off and he swims through a bog, where he gets eaten by a marine dinosaur (he escapes via the power of being The Warlord and stabbing his sword through the dino while in its stomach).

Anyway Travis starts swinging between trees in his race to warn Shamballah, when the tree he's in falls down because a forester cut it down. He convinces the forester to help him spread the warning (though the forester is worried about his family nearby)

They warn the villages, get back together, the Therans are coming, Travis blocks a narrow bridge, and the forester runs back to warn his family...including his very familiar son!

HELLO JOSHUA! I SUSPECT YOU ARE THE REAL JOSHUA AND NOT THE CLONE EVEN THOUGH THE STORY TRIED TO TELL ME YOU WERE THE CLONE. (Having read wikis I also know this is true, but it was also...obvious. From the writing)

Look! Joshua even has his watch armband so there is no way you can confuse him for any other red headed child called Joshua. (Also...great job there Deimos and Deimos' minions, hiding Joshua...right under Tara's nose literally in the surrounding forest of Shamballah. Truly a difficult place to find him).

Oh so we are FULL retconning the 'that's the clone' theory now are we? I mean it was bullshit from the start but you know.

Anyway the forester then tries to save Travis in his final stand by sending a logjam of logs down the stream to knock out Travis' opponents! And there we leave it.

Honestly I don't know why I bother to read any comic that is not The Warlord, it's the greatest. Even though Mike Grell didn't draw any bondage this week.

[fairymascot]

Which comics or media do you like with Poison Ivy? Genuinely, I want to see the take on the character you like.

hi anon, thanks for the ask! :)

the definitive version of the character for me is in the harley quinn animated series! it's also one of my favorite takes on harley, their relationship with each other, and honestly the batman universe in general. if you want to give it a go, though, do note it's very much an Adult Animated Series TM with lots of violence, gore, foul language, and crude/off-color humor. people can be put off by it, but as someone who normally can't stand that type of series, i've found it carries itself with considerable elegance. it's genuinely funny and has remarkably good character development, many emotional moments, and great development for harley and ivy. so if you have the stomach for this kind of show, i definitely recommend it.

when it comes to comics:

gotham city villains anniversary giant: a villain-centric anthology that includes an ivy oneshot by g. willow wilson, serving as a prequel for ivy's current ongoing miniseries. featuring beautiful, delicate art and incredibly poignant and gripping writing, wilson does an amazing job of getting into ivy's head and sharing her inner world with the reader. she's deeply troubled, more plant than person, part gorgeous ethereal forest spirit and part terrifying bog witch-- but ultimately still incapable of burying her own humanity. if you only read one thing out of this list, read this!

poison ivy 2022: the aforementioned continuation of the above story, it's fantastic for all the same reasons. only one issue out of six is currently out, but for once in my life where dc comics are involved, i have very high hopes!

more under the cut--

secret origins: gardener is the current canon origin story for ivy in the main continuity, told from the pov of her college girlfriend turned also-ecoterrorist, bella garten. the art is lush and gorgeous, ivy is shown in an extremely sympathetic light (bella might be MILDLY biased), and it reinforces her romantic relationship with harley from early on. i'd say my only fault with it is that it insists on her relationship with woodrue being mutual and romantic, instead of y'know, her college professor exploiting her, conducting inhumane experiments on her and ruining her life. still, though, a great read! 

poison ivy: thorns is a young adult reimagining of her origin story, including gorgeous shoujo manga-esque art, an original female love interest for ivy, and a story that makes her equal parts sympathetic and fearsome. on its own, it's not exactly groundbreaking literature -- the plot is fairly predictable, the romance is shallow -- but as an ivy story, it's a gem. it focuses on her trauma & her craving for human intimacy that's ultimately eclipsed by her connection to the green, and spins a narrative of a victim that learns to stand up for herself and take revenge on those who've wronged her.

catwoman: soulstealer is another ya retelling, this time focusing on-- you guessed it-- catwoman. despite being clumsy at times (the comic adaptation has a bad habit of slapping entire paragraphs from the novel directly onto the page) and featuring a wholly uninteresting romance between selina and batwing (apparently that’s a real guy?), it's also got some of the best sirens content dc's ever put out. selina's budding friendship with ivy and harley is one of the focal points of the book, and the two of them are fully fledged, engaging characters in their own right. they're all just starting out in their villain careers here, and ivy is young, optimistic, and confident, her character focused less on the trauma of becoming poison ivy and more on the ways it's empowered her. (she's still, however, very weak for harley, and desperate for friendship). a very sweet and enjoyable take, if you skim through the dragging/cluttered sections. the art and designs are top notch, too!

dc pride 2021: features a short harlivy story by mariko tamaki and amy reeder which, despite being around twelve pages long, manages to nail so much of what makes their relationship great. it shows them bantering, arguing, revealing their vulnerabilities, and talking out major issues in their relationship that seem so obvious and yet have basically never come up in mainline canon. it was really great to see. plus, the art rocks!

dc: love is a battlefield: a romance-based anthology featuring a harlivy short, detailing the evolution of their relationship through the years. though it's condensed into a handful of pages, it shows probably my favorite 'redemption arc' for ivy-- in which she gets older, mellows out (in big part due to harley's influence, but also, i think, just due to the passage of time), batman and the justice league also mellow out, and then they kinda meet halfway when they realize that by compromising, they can join forces and actually make the world a better place. on the whole, it's a very sweet, emotional story.

though she’s only a supporting character in them, and they’re still ongoing series so who knows how they’ll turn out, the alternate universe titles knights of dark steel and catwoman: lonely city feature great takes on ivy, as well.

you’ll notice practically all of these recs are standalone, and don’t require immersion in any of the bigger canon titles to read. this is because getting into the meat of comic continuity is a nightmare process that is simply not worth anyone’s energy or time. there are a few points in mainline canon where i've enjoyed her characterization, like the everyone loves ivy arc starting in batman vol 3 #41, or the harley quinn and poison ivy 2019 miniseries. in my personal opinion, though, the majority of main canon arcs are so bogged down with crap that it’s just not worth it. they sprawl across a billion titles, featuring heaps of characters i don’t care about, and the plot itself is usually nonsensical at best. but yeah! if you’re interested in ivy, this list should keep you busy for a while! hope ya dig :”)

[forevercloudnine]

new 52 riddler origin/timeline

I noticed an older 2017 post by @batriddler​ about Edward’s possible New 52 origin story was going around again, so I thought I’d make a timeline adding what we’ve learned about his origins since then through The Riddler: Year of the Villain (2019).

Childhood

So Year of the Villain brings back several elements of Edward’s original backstory. The first was that, as a child, he won a puzzle contest and became fixated on that moment of victory for the rest of his life.

Unlike previous iterations of the character, however, there’s no obvious indication that Edward cheated in order to win it (other than the looming shadow of his future careers). Whether he won it fairly or not, winning the trophy was a turning point for him because it was the first time he was given undiluted positive attention, something he wasn’t getting at home.

Edward’s mother is heavily, HEAVILY implied to be an alcoholic (like there are even more bottles lying around in this panel, I cut them out for the screenshot), and he himself implies in the narration that she was neglectful to the point that he pretty much had to raise himself. Interestingly, there’s no mention of an abusive father, which is the bog standard for Riddler backstories in previous continuities. There’s nothing contradicting the existence of an abusive father in addition, so obviously there’s room for headcanons here (though I’m enjoying that Jonathan’s New 52 daddy issues replacing his retconned Post-Crisis mommy issues was finally mirrored by Edward’s Post-Crisis daddy issues being retconned and replaced with New 52 mommy issues. It’s equality).

[Side note: apparently his actual birth name in the New 52 IS Edward “Nygma,” which is also a return to form to his first origin. Personally I’m much fonder of him being born “Nashton” and changing his name as an adult, but that’s just me.]

He says that winning the trophy was the first time he “felt like [he] meant something,” which would seem to indicate that before this he’d internalized his mother’s neglect into a low sense of self worth. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like the high of winning it lasted very long, since his classmates weren’t very appreciative of his victory (which is also very in line with Edward’s previous origins, especially Chuck Dixon’s take in Questions Multiple the Mystery).

There’s not much other information about his childhood available, though Batman Annual #4 does seem to indicate that unlike many of Batman’s other villains, he did grow up in Gotham.

This is just based on him telling Bruce that “all of Gotham City” watched him grow up, and that Edward in particular read and watched a lot of tabloid news about Bruce when they were adolescents (is this a Batman Forever reference??? It’s probably not a Batman Forever reference).

Teenage Years

Assuming we’re supposed to take Bruce’s heat-of-the-moment psychoanalysis in Zero Year seriously (Edward is clearly irritated by it, so... confirmation?), Edward’s desire for attention in childhood results in him breaking into corporate data banks and government safe-blocks as a teenager.

Given what Edward is capable of in Zero Year, this definitely doesn’t seem out of the realm of possibility, but it’s deeply hilarious in the context of what Year of the Villain confirmed he was (also?) doing as a teenager, which is working as a carnie.

I cannot tell you how hilarious I would find it if THIS is the “questionable past” that Bruce’s Uncle Phillip was talking about during Zero Year, but presumably he’s referring to the same kind of high profile crimes that Bruce was.

But seriously, how funny would it be if he was just talking about how Edward literally ran away from home to join the circus as a teenager...

Adulthood

The 2017 post theorizes that Edward started working for Phillip at Wayne Enterprises in his early twenties, and started earning the various degrees you can see stacked up in a corner in the image above during his employment there. That would seem to fit with this timeline, since I’m not willing to add “earned six different university degrees” to teenage years that are apparently already packed full of ripping off carnival goers AND corporate espionage.

In Batman Annual #4 there is the BAREST indication that Edward might have started working at Wayne Enterprises early into Bruce’s sabbatical abroad, since he talked about how “for months” there were nightly vigils at Wayne Tower where there were so many flowers people would have to cross the street not to step on them. Presumably this would have only been in the first year of Bruce’s disappearance, when Bruce was 18; at the very least this indicates that Edward still lived in Gotham when Bruce left, though it would make more sense for him to be visiting Wayne Tower as Phillip’s strategist than as a hacker/carnie.

In general though, Edward’s Zero Year plan is so ridiculously complex that I think it’s reasonable to assume that he took as long to prepare for his debut as Riddler as it took Bruce to train to be Batman.

[Another side note: Not to accuse Edward of projecting or anything (God forbid), but I think it’s interesting that Edward puts so much emphasis on criticizing Bruce for “disappearing for years” and “making everyone think he’s dead” in combination with the COMPLETE absence of his father from his origin story as presented in Year of the Villain.]

I do think it’s fascinating that Edward’s New 52 origin veers away from the whole “cheating” thing that’s so central to his character in previous continuities - not that he DOESN’T cheat when he feels like it (the whole carnie thing), but it’s not presented as an insecurity of his, and here he’s genuinely intelligent enough to mastermind crimes without needing to move the goalposts at the last second (cough Arkhamverse Riddler COUGH).

One final thing from Edward’s adult life that I think could relate back to his origin comes from Batman #23.2, “Solitaire.”

The issue starts with a flashback of Edward having a deck of playing cards confiscated from him in Arkham because he was playing Solitaire (like, genuinely playing Solitaire; he actually wasn’t plotting anything, it was just for stress relief). The comic is his quest for violent revenge against the Arkham guard who took his cards, which initially seems like a pretty average example of Riddler Brand Pettiness, but the story goes out of its way to highlight how much this really bothered him.

The Arkham Guard has moved on to become the head of security at Wayne Enterprises, so to get revenge Edward has to break into his old place of employment. An unexpected altercation with one of the executives leads Edward to totally freak out over her “touching” him, and afterwards he goes to meditate in her old office in order to calm down. His attempt to relax is interrupted by his old Arkham tormentor, who gets in a couple shots at him before Edward takes his revenge...

...which is BLOWING UP THE ARM that the guard used to take away the “small comfort” Edward had in Arkham. Afterwards, he goes up to the roof to play Solitaire, seeming to finally relax from his agitation earlier.

Given Edward’s isolation and neglect in childhood, it would make sense for him to have ended up playing Solitaire a lot: it’s a game that doesn’t require involvement from friends or family, but still requires a player to use strategy and skill despite the lack of an opponent.

[Yet another side note related to the previous side note: Batman is ACTUALLY dead during Solitaire, which takes place after Joker’s Endgame arc. Bruce and Joker are of course later resurrected through shenanigans, so Edward is right to think he’ll be seeing Batman again. But Riddler sitting on the Wayne Enterprises rooftop, indulging in a self-described “small comfort,” waiting for a man who’s disappeared to miraculously show up again is really interesting. Again, not to accuse him of projecting or anything, but... where’s your dad, Edward...]

His affection for Solitaire is also interesting, in the sense that one could argue that’s what he’s doing in Zero Year: playing a game with himself. He’s challenging other people to play with him through his “riddle” game, and he’s clearly prepared for the possibility of having an opponent (given that he has a whole rainbow disco death trap room set up at the end of Zero Year, which he seems DELIGHTED to have a chance to use), but he’s not expecting to have one. Whether this is a perspective rooted in his childhood or not, it seems to have changed after Zero Year, based on his riddle for Batman in “Alone.”

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "Hunting Palismans" From The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Today, I present to you reason #4,693 for why The Owl House is the best thing at the moment: It's the perfect balance of serialized storytelling with an episodic format. The story always moves forward with an exact order for how episodes should be watched, but each episode still functions as its own standalone tale. Having prior knowledge of what happened before adds more to the experience, but you can still watch whatever you want and still have an enjoyable time. Take "Hunting Palismans," for example. It adds so much more to the overarching narrative while slightly continuing other threads. But it's still something you can watch as is without remembering the past or wondering about the future.

However, to properly explain how requires spoilers. I wasn't kidding when I say that this episode adds so much, so you're going to want to be wary of that when you continue reading.

With that said, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Coven Heads Meeting: We already saw these fellow schmucks in the trailer, but that doesn't take away how cool they are! It's not explicitly stated which head belongs to which coven, but you can already tell who goes where just from their designs alone. And I love that. I love that just by showing us some excellent character designs, anybody with half a brain can already figure out the particular type of magic each Coven Head specializes in. It's a perfect example of the show-don't-tell level of storytelling that is always at its best through animation, and I'm all for it because of it.

What the Day of Unity is: Several fans, myself included, have already speculated that the Day of Unity was that Emperor Belos planned to combine the human world with the Boiling Isles and rule it all with an iron fist. That being said, figuring it out is one thing, but being told that it's true is a whole different level pants-s**ting horror that I AM NOT READY FOR! Even when it's going to happen, I can assure you that I will not be prepared to witness it ...and I am scared of when it does.

Belos Body Horror: ...Disney, I was already scared s**tless of this guy. I DO NOT NEED THIS!

That being said, seeing Belos do...whatever the f**k that was, helps explain further why he needs the magic in palismans. I always assumed because it's like fuel for a car, giving him the power he needs. Now, even though the answer is more apparent, there are still some questions to be had. Is he cursed, and the magic keeps it at bay like Eda's potions? Or did he experiment with the wrong type of magic, and the palismans keep him stable? Only the future can say for sure...and I'm also not prepared for the answers from that either.

Golden Guard is Belos’ Nephew: Gosh dangit, THE INTRO HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET, AND THIS EPISODE IS ALREADY GIVING SO MUCH!

But, yeah, the most powerful witch on the Isles is apparently Golden Boy's Grunkle Belos. That very knowledge is incredibly interesting to discuss while presenting possibilities for future narratives. I don't know about you, but I see the Golden Guard going down the path of Zuko, learning that the magic of friendship is worth much more than whatever power he gains from being Belos' nephew. And possibly earning his uncle's love seeing how he's the only family he has. It's a situation that's vastly different from Amity's because even when she defies her parents, she'll still have Edric and Emira at the end of the day. For Golden Guard, knowing that he lost a great family to wild magic, the inclination to go against Belos is a lot weaker due to him being all he has left.

Oh, and also, Belos' family getting wiped out because of wild magic. Yeah, not only does that give the best type of motivation for Belos' distaste for it, but it also explains the Golden Guard's hesitance to use it. He's inclined to so he can save his uncle, sure. It's only the fact that he knows what happens with wild magic that causes some resistance...Also, we're less than a minute in, and I'm already getting all of this from one discussion between two characters.

HOW IS THIS SHOW SO GOOD?!

Intro Changes: It's about time too. It seems weird that the crew waited to change Eda and King's designs in the intro this late in the game, but it also tells me that Amity dying her hair lavender is the last huge change this season will present. Otherwise, why change the intro at all if you were going to alter Luz, Willow, and Gus' designs anyway? It just doesn't make sense to me.

Luz Keeping the Echo Mouse as a Pet: The fact that she keeps the most important creature in the world to her as a pet...it's...it's adorable, alright? And as we established several times, I cannot hate adorable things.

Don't judge me!

Amity Staying Home: There are two plausible ways why Amity didn't go to school that day. Either she's getting punished for dying her hair or because she's trying to avoid Luz so they won't talk about the you-know-what. Either could work and seem understandable to Luz, thus explaining why she admits how "that makes sense." Although, there is something to discuss in how Luz is curious as to where Amity is. Judging from the tone of her voice, it's pretty clear that she wants to talk about the little peck on the cheek and maybe get some confirmation as to what it means. Because there is no going back from that. You can explain away saying or doing something stupid, but you cannot un-kiss a cheek. That is a point of no return, and if Amity really is avoiding Luz because of it, that means it's up to our favorite weirdo to make the first move. As for what that may entail...we'll just have to wait and see.

Frewin: We get two bits of information here for the price of one reveal here. Knowing that Frewin is a palisman is shocking enough, but the knowledge that Bump is partially blind and needs Frewin to see? That is an intriguing piece of intel that I would have never expected to get revealed. This is reason #5,279 for what makes The Owl House so good. Even when the show presents information you wouldn't guess, it's all so interesting anyways that you can't help but go along with it.

Adopting Palismans: First of all, love the fact that the Bat Queen makes a return to provide a solution to the palisman trees being rare and solving her own problem regarding the discarded palismans. It's a situation where everyone wins in a way that is so clever that I can't help but admire it.

Second, the idea of students choosing to adopt palismans instead is cute. I'd say it gives further insight into who these characters are in how they say what they want to be, but there's nothing really new added that fans couldn't figure out from the get go. But I will say that it's pretty cool to know that these characters have official staffs now. Speaking of which, if you're upset that their palismans don't match up with your headcanons...grow up.

This was a cute and smartly written scene that should not be bogged down by whiney fans who can't accept a series doing something different from what they expect.

Little Rascal: I’d take a bullet for this bird. That is all.

Luz Being Uncertain of her Future: A lot of fans offer several ideas of what the future could look like for Luz. Will she stay in the Boiling Isles? In Connecticut? Or will she go back and forth? We don't know, but one question we rarely brought up is what does Luz want? More specifically, what does she want to do? After everything Luz went through, the adventures she's gone on, and the lessons learned, what is something that Luz wants her future to be? That's an answer she doesn't really figure out, and I'm genuinely ok with that being a question that's tabled for another day. Most kids who ask that question themselves aren't always going to find an answer after a short amount of time and sometimes even need to spend their lives trying to figure it out. So having it be something Luz has to consider and probably find out in a future episode is the smarter option, as it allows time for it to simmer in her own mind and provides more insight into her character. As stated several times in this episode, she doesn't think things through, so it's nice that the writers finally allowed her some time to wonder what's next when the adventure is over.

Luz Having to Improvise Without Paper Glyphs: You want to know what my favorite Spider-Man moments are (this is relevant. Trust me). My favorite moments are when Spidey's web-shooters run out of fluid, and he's forced to improvise with that big brain of his to find a solution. That's sort of what happens with Luz in "Hunting Palismans." She didn't bring her glyphs with her (why would she), so she's forced to use the environment around her to make new ones. Plus, Luz also flexes her knowledge of the Boiling Isles by mixing her glyphs with a magical plant (which Willow certainly told her about) so that she and the Golden Guard could knock out Kikimora's dragon. It's yet another showcase of her intelligence that a lot of fans are too keen to overlook. Unfortunate to see, too, because looking at how well Luz can craft the perfect solutions by fighting smarter, not harder, is a fantastic add-on to her personality. I love characters who win through their wits rather than their raw powers, and I once again hope more people will catch onto that aspect of her too.

Golden Guard Whistling the Theme: Look, I love it when a show acknowledges its own theme song, ok? Leave me alone.

Luz and the Golden Guard: This is one of those dynamics you didn't know you wanted until you have it. And now that I have it, I DEMAND MORE!

Seriously, seeing these two interact off of each other was a ton of fun to watch. When Luz and GG are initially at each other's throats, their threats and mockery towards one another aren't out of spiteful anger between two mortal enemies. It's more like...two siblings who get on each other's nerves yet are supposed to deal with one another. It's equally adorable and hilarious, and yes, I absolutely loved that they're forced to work together in this episode because of it.

Although, while the entertainment value is fantastic, it also adds more proof of why Luz is the best character in the series. She spends one night with this guy, and that's more than what she needed to make a difference with him. I wouldn't go so far as to say that they're buddies now, but Luz definitely sowed the seeds into his redemption. He's far from willing to join her side, but he still does something he rarely does with anyone else: He told her that his name is Hunter. And this is what Luz does. Through nearly every person she meets on the Boiling Isles, she always manages to change them for the better. It'll be a while before Hunter deflects from Belos, but if Amity proves anything, Luz has a way of sneaking into people's hearts. They just need to spend more time with one another, and I can't wait to see what happens next because of it.

Kikimora Wanting to Kill Hunter: This shows a lot about who Kikimora is, but it potentially proves just how dysfunctional the Emperor's Coven can be. If Kiki proves anything, the coven must be filled with people willing to backstab and cheat their way to get on Emperor Belos' good side. Just look at Lilith. She literally cursed her own sister just to get in and received all the rewards because of it. The Emperor's Coven may be the best choice for witches to do magic, but if you're surrounded by people you can't trust, then is it really worth it?

The Guards Not Knowing Who Hunter is: This helps add to how much of a big deal it is for Hunter to reveal his name to Luz. If people can't even recognize his face, there's a chance it means that he keeps his true identity a secret except for those in his inner circle.

And the coven guards brushing off his brand is more than believable to me. They may be aware that Belos' right hand is young, but teens will be teens. Anybody with enough artistic talent can fake a brand. So it isn't too far off for those two to think Hunter was just a kid pulling a prank.

Hunter is Powerless Without his Staff: Not much to say here. It's just some more neat insight into Hunter's character that makes me wonder if even Belos' magic is real magic.

But I will say this: The fact that Hunter comes from a lineage of powerless witches, well, who's to say that isn't because of a...certain ancestor?

(*Cough* Hunter is related to Philip *Cough*)

Hunter vs Kiki: A pretty well-animated fight scene that adds potential drama to the story for the future. Now that Kikimora knows that Hunter helped Luz escape with the palismans (albeit unwillingly), she may or may not hold that over his head when the time comes. Or, at the very least, decides to keep a closer eye on him whenever he makes a slip-up.

Eda and King Getting Luz her own Palisman Wood: These last two weeks have been severely lacking in the Eda and King department, but scenes like this more than make up for it. Those two have formed such a bond with Luz to the point where they would do the impossible if it meant she would feel better. It proves just how much of a family they all are and the lengths they would go for each other. After all, weirdos have to stick together.

Little Rascal going to Hunter: Hunter is right. That was surprising.

Given how much Little Rascal stuck by Luz, I was more than positive that she would be the one he chose. So seeing Little Rascal pick Hunter instead is a much nicer twist. There could be multiple reasons why, and I'm just going to leave that to the analyzers in this fandom to decide. Especially since the answer isn't really all that important.

So, instead, I'm going to go ahead and sit in the corner as I wOrRy AbOuT tHe DaY tHaT bElOs FiNdS lItTlE rAsCal!

IT'S GONNA HAPPEN! AND I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY, IF THE WRITERS KILL HIM, I WILL NOT BE HAPPY!

WHAT I DISLIKED

First, there's...um...

Well, there was this...

Ok, as much as I liked--No, that turned out well anyways...

…

...

...I've got nothing.

I, honest to goodness, have no complaints about "Hunting Palismans" Not even the tiniest of nitpicks I would usually ignore due to how well-executed everything else was.

It's all written fantastically to the point where it's...perfect.

IN CONCLUSION

"Hunting Palismans" is an easy A+. It introduces even more plot threads, gives insight into characters, and despite being essential to the story, it still manages to be a fun episode all on its own. And, I'd go so far as to say that it's one of the best, if not the best, episodes in the series. There's nothing bad about it, and that surprises me. I rarely find nothing bad to say about any story, even the ones I enjoy greatly. I'm sure there are some flaws that others would be more than happy to point out, but why bother hunting for the imperfections when I could accept that, for once, an episode is simply perfect.

(And that’s six hits in a row...THAT STINKER IS GOING TO HAPPEN! It hasn’t happened yet, BUT IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN! I CAN FEEL IT!)

[sharoncarterappreciation]

Hi do you have a comic reading list/guide for Sharon Carter? I would really like to learn more about her in the comics but I'm not sure where to start

I know someone who’s working on an updated reading list (the last one is this one), but it isn’t ready at the moment (though you can read what she has here). As such, I’ll try to make a very rough one!

Tales of Suspense: 75-76, 85, 92-95, 97-99 Captain America, Vol 1: 100-104, 108, 114-116, 124, 127, 135-137, 140-143, 144-148 (Femme Force!), 153-156 (Steve, Sam, and Sharon team up against other!Cap and other!Bucky!), 161-163 (Peggy), 165-167 (if you’re into relationship drama), 178-182 (Nomad Steve), 202, 204 (Leila!), 206-207, 209-212 (Sharon on a SHIELD mission), 233 (brainwashed Sharon), 237 (apparently dead Sharon), 445-454 (Sharon is alive and not exactly happy about it) Captain America, Vol 3: 1 (i.e., one of the panels that made me fall in love with her more), 3-4 (free agent working with SHIELD to use their resources) Fury/Agent 13: 1-2 (Sharon goes after Nick Fury in more ways than one) Captain America, Vol 3: 9-12 (Her and Steve v Nightmare!), 13 (Steve getting involved in politics), 15-17 (Her and Steve v Skull, pt 1), 19 (v Skull, pt 2), 20 (sets up mission to Savage Land), 25-31 (Her and Steve v Nefaria in the Savage Land/Sharon becomes Director of SHIELD) Sentinel of Liberty: 1 (recons how they found out each other’s identities) Captain America, Vol 3: 34-35/Captain America Annual 2000 (Director Sharon and Steve v Protocide), 37-42 (Them v Hydra/AIM/Batroc/Steve’s current girlfriend), 45 (Nick comes back as SHIELD Director, Sharon demoted), 50 (She turns Steve down but leaves room for the future after he crashes one of her missions) Captain America, Vol 5: 1-4, 6, 8-9, 12-14, 16-7, 19-22, 24-32, 35-42, 49 (Note: All of these are the Winter Soldier arc and the Civil War arc, so Sharon suffers... a lot), 600 (Sharon thinks Steve is alive and is determined to find out for sure) Captain America Reborn: 1-6 (Sharon finds out for sure and is instrumental in bringing Steve back from his timeline) Secret Avengers, Vol 1: 1-21 (18 is PARTICULARLY good; anyway, Brubaker wrote the first batch. When Remender came on, Sharon disappears without another mention) Age of Heroes, Vol 1: 3 (Girls’ Night In - Hill, Hand, and Sharon Carter fight bad guys while bogged down with bureaucracy) Captain America, Vol 5: 615.1-618 (Bucky is in legal trouble, and she and Steve try to help) Captain America and the Secret Avengers, Vol 1: 1 (Sharon and Natasha do a mission together while Steve deals with paperwork) Captain America, Vol 6: 1-19 (Sharon has a LOT of great stuff in this one, and it isn’t as emotionally heavy as V5. Reads almost like Brubaker’s love letter to the Cap title) Captain America, Vol 7: NO. Remender wrote this batch and basically killed Sharon off for Steve to angst over. When she comes back, she’s much, much older because of her time in a pocket universe. Maybe just read the final issue, where Sam gets the shield and Sharon and Steve are stepping back from heroism (he’s old now too) and raising their son together (Ian Zola, whom Steve kind of kidnapped and soon disappears into another universe, where he meets Steve and Sharon’s biological daughter and escapes with her - supposedly back to 616 but he hasn’t been seen since). So maybe just read Issue 25 and be done with it. Captain America: Steve Rogers (1, 3-4, 6-7, 9-12, 15, 19) / Captain America: Sam Wilson (1, 6-7, 14) / Secret Empire (0-1, 3, 7-9): Note: This is the Secret Empire event where a personified Cosmic Cube replaces Steve with a Hydra version who was Hydra all along. The run wasn’t popular with a lot of people, in part because this version of Steve has co-opted by modern-day Nazi variants. So while some characters get... good character stuff, read with caution. Winter Soldier, Vol 1: 1, 3-5 (Sharon helps Bucky run a program to find people second chances so they can start over) Captain America, Vol 9: 1-9, 11-27 (Sharon gets sent into a trap, is shown to be part of a secret spy team, and gets her youth back, along with extra strength, agility, and a powered suit)

[mbrainspaz]

EVERYBODY SHUT UP THIS SEEMINGLY-DEAD FRANCHISE FROM 2014 IS ALL I CARE ABOUT FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS. 

There's also a short-run comic with gorgeous art and a more developed plot too--dm for sketchy link. (Fair warning though it all ends abruptly and in tears.) The movie is the first thing I’ve bought on itunes in maybe 7 years and I think it was worth it. 

And y’all need to tell me if there is more than the 15 minute movie and 3 issue comic series out there. I’ve been mucking around with lucid dreaming story/universe for a long time and this hit a real vibe with me. It seems like somebody’s soul-story that got bogged down with industry nonsense or ran out of money.  

UPDATE-

okay apparently there are some novels and it looks like I can get books 1 and 2 free for kindle so there’s that! Couple reviews suggest it might be for younger readers but I read Trollhunters so it can’t be worse than that. 

I also saw somebody mention a 4th comic issue so if anybody has a link to that I’d be psyched. Especially if it includes some sort of ending.

[twiststreet]

People online are always trying to have these high-minded “manga vs Western industrial comics” discussions — but from 30,000 feet and purely in the theoretical. I don’t really dig a lot of those people, and I don’t dig their vibes but... It’s always so abstract, and what’s happening on the pages, what are people thinking panel to panel, it all just gets lost.  

(I mean, you can try to say some hippie-dippy nonsense about how “it’s all comics” but… I mean, I could say “it’s all English” and point at an e.e. cummings collection and the instruction manual on your mom’s vibrator (which is really more a handwritten set of riddles written in what I hope is lipstick, but…). A common language doesn’t foreclose the existence of dialects. But anyways…)

But grab random pages off Comixology-- here, one of the first couple pages of Demon Slayer (massively popular, resulted in a hit movie, etc.) and a preview page of Shang Chi #1 (a title probably created because there’s about to be a movie).  Same job; compare the results.  Just look at the difference in lettering and word balloons, and you can immediately tell they’re not comparable. It’s not the letterer’s “fault” -- Western comics overwrite and you end up with these tiny, tiny words in tiny little word balloons. Manga’s easier to look at.  There’s flow. The words don’t hurt to look at, which is nice!

But also:  you’re so far away from anyone on the Western page. You’re just a fly on the wall. You’re watching things from a telescope; is there life on mars? Whereas with the manga page– maybe this is in my head, but I think the characters in manga look directly at the reader more often (which inherently involves the reader because we all are emotionally impacted to some extent when someone looks us in the eye, I suppose?).  

There’s profound differences in approach within manga, of course-- this is a shonen page and not seinen, not all shonen artists approach the page the same way, etc.  But setting aside art manga, say, with a manga page, whatever the approach, I tend to feel linked with a character-- I know who I’m reading about, on sort of a deep, layout level that’s hard to articulate (character positioning stuff).  But also because there’s emotional content-- look at this page-- people are hugging.  You can tell it’s cold because i can see the breath coming out of their mouths. There are characters emoting in front of you, which I think is a constant.  Without having run numbers, I would guess that if you counted visual moments which were emotional (reaction shots, emoting shots, etc.) and compared the numbers between a standard manga chapter and a comparable size Western industrial comic, a bog-standard corporate-produced SKU, the former would dwarf the latter in numbers, on the average (with exceptions, maybe, but). 

But the page on the left: What is the emotional content of that page?  There is none.  But there’s a ton of text.  Because the purpose of a Western industrial comic is to communicate information.  It’s to update Wikipedia pages.  It’s nerds playing a weird decades-long Dungeons and Dragons with other nerds (which is sometimes nice, but).  But information isn’t story.  (At least if you subscribe to the Christopher McQuarrie “story is about the emotional journey of an audience blah blah blah” school, which I guess I do).  

Tangent: I just got an Elsa Charretier artbook off a Kickstarter I backed last year, and it’s pretty neat.  But at the end of the book is an “artist storytelling showdown” thing.  Three artists take the same script page and do their own versions to show how different storytellers interpret the same page differently?  But the only thing is:  they get handed a page of pure dialogue by some writer (real fucking garbage too-- white guy writing minorities for other white people stuff).  So all three pages look the same!  There’s nothing happening in any of them-- it’s just three slightly different talking head pages.  The rendering is different, but they all even make the same exact decisions for the most part-- down to the micro: they even all choose to do a copy-paste repeat of a close-up of a head in panels 4 and 5 or whatever.  And NONE of the pages are any good-- not one of them (even one that was published in some DC comic, apparently).  It’s really fascinating / oblivious.  Neat book, though!  Enjoying digging into it...

Anyways.  I feel like there’s this immense difference in the sound of the music even if they’re playing the same instruments. I find that interesting– the “why do these two things that superficially resemble each other actually differ significantly” of it all. I wish people would talk about that instead of staying in outer space. But you know: I don’t dig a lot of the people; I don’t dig the vibes; and I can’t solve any of your mom’s horny riddles; what goes on four legs in the morning, on two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?? Yikes.  Leave me out of it, lady!  

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really THAT Bad?

Cats has been a divisive show ever since it opened in 1981. Some people hate it for being a plotless spectacle that focuses more on the visuals than on music and story, while others love it for those same reasons, as well as for being utterly campy and fun. I’m firmly in the latter category, to the point I can’t  really comprehend the opposition to the film. Stuff like the jab at this film in The Critic or the mockery of it in Hey Arnold just seem weird to me; what is it about this fun, silly musical about cats that makes people’s blood boil so much?

Perhaps all these people saw into the future where the film was released.

Cats had a long, troubled history getting from stage to screen. In the 90s, Amblimation was set to make an animated version of the movie, set during the Blitz of WWII. Unfortunately, the inability of writers to find a way to turn this episodic showcase of random singing cats into a cohesive narrative combined with the failure of Amblimations films caused the project to dissolve, leaving behind nothing but some really cool concept art. 

But see, this perfectly demonstrates the problem with adapting Cats: the musical is a spectacle, a showcase, it’s all about the dancing, costumes, and the songs. It doesn’t have a story to speak of, instead contenting itself with showing us a bunch of different cats and having them sing about themselves for a bit before moving on to the next cat. Sure, there’s a bit of continuity and whatnot, but this really isn’t the sort of show that’s trying to deliver a deep narrative. It just wants you to have a good time, nothing more, nothing less.

No one told any of this to Tom Hooper, apparently. This director of the grounded, gritty, realistic adaptation of Les Mis was tapped to utilize this same style in a musical about magical singing cats, all while not even knowing what catnip is or how animation works. Hooper was apparently constantly butting heads with the VFX team due to his lack of understanding of how animating works. He tried to get the team to watch videos of cats performaing the stuff he wanted and forced them to give 90 hour work weeks, cementing Tom Hooprt as one of the biggest douchebags imaginable. On top of all this, the guy tried to weave this plotless showcase of felines into a cohesive narrative, and tapped a bunch of talent of various degrees of questionability to play parts. And what was the result?

An absolute disaster. The film was savaged by critics, with most positives being that the film was so bad it’s good. The film (of course) won a bunch of Razzies, and was the subject of mockery and memes before, after, and during its run in theaters. Hell, as soon as the trailer dropped, the film was mocked to death. Not helping was the rushed VFX which, again, was due to the team being under pressure from a draconian idiot who had no idea what he was doing. The film received an unprecedented bug fix, so to speak, in the form of an updated version with slightly better VFX that was shipped to theaters after the initial negative reaction. This obviously did nothing to help the movie’s reputation, of course. Hell, even in my initial review, I wasn’t super keen on the film. Most damning of all, though, was Andrew Lloyd Webber himself calling the film ridiculous, and even said "The problem with the film was that Tom Hooper decided that he didn’t want anybody involved in it who was involved in the original show."

But after ruminating on it, and after watching the film once more, I’ve decided to ask the usual question: Is it really that bad? It’s weird to ask this about a film that’s so new; I usually wait for hindsight to kick in, and look at older films considered bad. But even now, Cats is building up a reputation as a campy cult classic, with such figures as Martin “LittleKuriboh” Billamy watching the film with alarming frequency. And after reading the nightmarish behind the scenes and considering everything… yeah, I think this film deserves a re-evaluation.

This is going to be a little different, though: I’m sort of going to go through the film part by part, since this film has an interesting issue where, generally speaking, the first half is where the worst problems are, and the second half is where things start to pick up. So let’s get the bad out of the way first, then move onto the good.

THE BAD

So, I’m actually not going to pick on the VFX too much, and not just because of the horrible treatment of the VFX artists. In all honesty, the weird human/cat people, while not even remotely as cool as the insane costumes of the stage show, eventually stop being super distracting and kind of just become something you accept. Like, I’m not gonna pretend like this work is amazing, but I dunno, I think it gets harped on too much. There is some stuff that stands out as noticeably bad, though, and we’ll get to that.

A consistent problem with the film that I can’t even try to defend is the problem with the scaling. It’s seriously hard to tell how big these cats are supposed to be in relation to anything else. They honestly seem to change size from scene to scene. It’s seriously weird and baffling and there’s never any way to get a good sense of scale. Even when the cats are alongside mice and roaches, it just boggles the mind what size anything is actually supposed to be.

Mr. Mistoffelees, one of the most flamboyant and enjoyable characters of the stage show, is one of the biggest character issues with the film. Gone is the tricky, confident magician who prances and dances, and here is a meek, sniveling twerp who can barely do anything without tripping over himself. This is because the actor who plays him had a terrible audition that left him miserable due to a lack of singing and dance background. So, rather than find someone who could, you know, sing and dance, they decided to rewrite Mr. Mistoffelees into comic relief, which is just an insulting slap in the face. The cherry on top of course is how they straightwash the character and excise his homoerotic tension with Rum Tum Tugger, instead making him completely and totally straight and giving him a thing for Victoria. Out of everyone in the entire film, they did Mr. Mistoffelees the dirtiest.

Now, let’s get onto the actual “plot.” The film actually starts out fairly well, with some cool shots, good dancing, and some setup for Macavity, whose intro has a neat little nod to the fact he’s based on Moriarty. The issues don’t really start showing up until we reach the first of the Jellicle choices… Jennyanydots.

Jennyanydots is portrayed by Rebel Wilson, which is the first issue. Rebel Wilson is probably one of the worst actresses ever. She is just a horrendously, relentlessly unfunny human being, and she brings that exact quality to her role here. For her song, the vocal talent is secondary to the cringeworthy comedy Wilson puts on display. And yet, somehow, Wilson isn’t the worst part of the scene. No, that would be the horrendous CGI human-faced mice and roaches, which look like they came out of a PS3 game.

This horrendous spectacle is followed up with the appearance of Rum Tum Tugger, portrayed by Jason Derulo. I’m of two minds about this. On the one hand, I do think Derulo has the necessary egotistical celebrity swagger to play Rum Tum Tugger (especially when you consider he responded to negative criticisms of the film by calling the movie  “one of the greatest pieces of art ever made”) and his design is actually one of the better ones in the film, but on the other hand, his singing and the musical choice for his song are not very impressive and really just doesn’t work all too well. It’s at least something of a step up from Rebel Wilson and her CGI abominations, but that’s not really saying much, is it?

Next up we have Bustopher Jones, played by James Corden and, if I’m being totally honest… he’s not quite as awful as he could be. Corden is basically the male equivalent to Rebel Wilson, but at least while he’s singing he manages to be somewhat amusing, whimsical, and enjoyable even. The problem comes when he throws in jokes, including one where he claims to be self-conscious about his weight… a joke that occurs in the middle of his song where he is bragging about how fat he is. Talk about sending mixed messages. I wish I didn’t have to be so harsh on Bustopher, but sadly he is bogged down by really bad shtick.

Bustopher Jones also highlights a problem with the cats in this first half. These minor roles – Jennyanydots, Rum Tum Tugger, and Bustopher Jones – are all being played by relatively big celebrities, and as such they’re going to want a lot of time to sing. As a result, songs that were ensemble numbers on stage become more one-man songs here, with Bustopher Jones being the most egregious example, turning this positive fat character into a walking James Corden fat joke as he sings his own praises rather than having his praises sung.

Following him up we have Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, who are usually fun characters with a fun little pseudo-villain song, but alas, they manage to screw that up by using a slow, jazzy version of the song originally used in earlier London productions rather than the more up-tempo version from later productions, making the song sound awkward and forgettable. Topping it all off is the bargain bin Mr. M popping in at the end for some wacky shenanigans, but at this point, the movie takes a turn towards…

THE GOOD

So as soon as Dame Judi Dench shows up as Old Deuteronomy, the film gets a sort of inverse of what happened at the start. Where the film starts somewhat awkward and promising, it slowly gets stupider and stupider when Rebel Wilson, Jason Derulo, and James Corden botch their scenes in the ways described above. Here, things start a bit shaky and unsure, but Dench is a sign things are about to pick up. What makes her so enjoyable is how, despite how utterly silly things are, she treats her role with the dignity and gravitas of something out of Shakespeare. The only thing as good as an actor in a silly movie like this going full-on ham and cheese is an actor treating their role dead serious and injecting it with such class and dignity you can’t help but enjoy it. Thankfully, Dench isn’t the only person to take her role seriously.

Jennifer Hudson as Grizabella technically appears briefly in the earlier portions of the film, but here we get to hear her belt out “Memory,” and by god does she do a fantastic job. The raw emotion and passion she injects into Grizabella is phenomenal, and it’s even more powerful when it comes back for its reprise in the finale. Victoria gets a sort of response song to “Memory,” called “Beautiful Ghosts,” and it’s a decent song in its own right, but you can tell it was a more modern composition and it just doesn’t gel super well with the rest of the songs. Still, all this is good stuff, and the “Memory”/”Beautiful Ghosts” scene is a nice, refreshing bit of emotion after the incredibly weird and silly extended dance number that is the Jellicle Ball.

The movie doesn’t stop pulling punches; shortly after Grizabella we are given Gus the theater cat, an elderly actor whose number is all about reminiscing of the old days of theater and his many stellar roles from days gone by. Naturally, the only actor who could possibly perform this role properly is Sir Ian McKellan. I am completely unironic when I say this: This is to McKellan what Patrick Stewart’s performance of Xavier in Logan is. This sounds ridiculous, but think of it: Gus is an aging thespian, clearly a bit senile and desiring to be reborn because he has reached the end of the line, and McKellan fills him with this genuine, incredibly honest performance that really makes you feel emotional. It’s powerful. It feels so personal and resonant, like McKellan has inserted some of his own feelings into his performance, which may very well be the case. Oh, and after his song Macavity kidnaps him with a big autograph book and apparates away while saying his name, which gets me every time.

And now, my friends, the lord and savior arrives: Skimbleshanks.

This is, hands down, the best scene in the entire film. Everything comes together here: the music is absolutely fantastic, the dancing is choreographed extremely well, and it’s clear that everyone involved is having a blast. This is a concentrated essence of what Cats should be, and it’s really a shame Hooper didn’t understand that this is the energy needed for the entire production. The most crucial element, of course, is Steven McRae, who not only has a lovely singing voice and looks dapper as all hell in his red suspenders, but is a tap dancing maniac. This man has feet of fire, and his tapping adds a whole new layer of fun to the song. Overall, this is a perfect scene, and probably one of my favorite scenes in any film ever. For a brief four minutes, everything about this film works. I literally have no idea why this cat wants to be reincarnated, he is straight balling in this life.

But the hits don’t stop! Right after this song, Taylor Swift descends from the ceiling, and we get “Macavity.” In the stage productions, this is a song sung by Bombalurina to describe how nasty Macavity is, since she’s traditionally a good cat; here, she’s reimagined as a villain, and so this song is basically her acting as Macavity’s hype man, singing his dastardly praises, and best of all, Macavity joins in at the end! I’m certainly not a Taylor Swift fan, but she really kills it here, and definitely makes this one of the best songs in the movie with her hilariously forced accent and insane energy. It’s just a shame that from here on out Macavity ditches his villainous pimp coat and is now a nude Idris Elba, but I suppose this is equivalent exchange for Skimbleshanks being so amazing.

While not as incredible as the previous two songs and not quite as good as the stage version due to the removal of the latent homoeroticism, Mr. Mistoffelees’s song is actually okay. It’s nice that he gets to sing his own praises here, but it’s just nothing compared to the stage version, even if it has a fun little finale and it actually is genuinely heartwarming when Old Deuteronomy returns and sings along. It’s a sweet moment that almost makes up for how much Mr. M has sucked the whole movie. Oh, also, all of the Jellicle choices Macavity kidnapped fight back against their captor Growltiger, with Skimbleshanks aggressively tapdancing at him and Gus using his acting skills to make him fall into the Thames. This is so goofy that it wraps back around to being awesome.

The movie winds down in the goofiest way possible after the gorgeous reprise of “Memory,” with Macavity being caught on a big sculpture and apparently running out of magic, leaving him stranded like a regular cat. Then we get one final fourth-wall breaking song where Judi Dench directly addresses the camera that has the music swell up to the point where it seems like the song is ending numerous times without actually ending, and each time is funnier than the last. Really, what better way could you end such a silly film than with this?

Now, a general thing that’s great about the film is the choreography. The dancing in the movie is spectacular. I don’t really have a bad thing to say about it. And, in a broad sense, the music is good too, even if the singers aren’t always perfect, the backing tracks are great, and there’s a lot of fun in the tracks in the latter half of the movie. McRae and Taylor Swift’s contributions in particular are great, and Hudson’s version of “Memory” is incredibly powerful, as is McKellan’s take on Gus’ song.

Is It Really THAT Bad?

No.

Look, it’s hard to be like “Wow this is a fantastic masterpiece of film” or anything like that, because the movie has blatant and evident problems. But this is literally the reason I made this review series; I’m asking if the movie is really as bad as people say, and in this case, no, there’s too much genuinely enjoyable in the film for me to say it’s deserving of several Razzies and a spot on the Bottom 100 of IMDB that places it above Master of Disguise and The Emoji Movie. Like, seriously? This is worse than the 90 minute commercial starring the abusive dick who called a bomb threat on his girlfriend? Hell, this movie is rated worse than Artemis Fowl, which is definitely a contender for the worst film ever made (and amusingly enough also features Judi Dench in it). Artemis Fowl has next to no redeeming qualities in it, and it certainly doesn’t have Skimbleshanks, whereas Cats has several fun scenes and also has Skimbleshanks.

I definitely think there’s more of an argument for this film being so bad it’s good or camp at best, but it’s definitely more enjoyable than you’d think it would be. If you can learn to live with the weird CGI, it’s a fun, goofy romp that you might find yourself feeling for at times. After my second watch, I have to say… I’ve started to unironically enjoy this movie. It might even be one of my favorites of all time. I can’t even deny that it has a lot of stuff I don’t like, and it falls flat in a lot of ways the 1998 film soars, and it screwed up some of my favorite characters… but there are so many moments where the fun and heart of Cats shines through brighter than it has any right to, and all the failures of Hooper and Universal seem distant for a just a few minutes.

So yeah, is this movie good all around? No way. But is it fun, does it have value, and is there more redeeming qualities than the critics let on? Oh yes there is.

[ninja-muse]

i’m trying to branch out and read outside my genre (fantasy) do you have any book recs for someone whose heart is in fantasy but needs to see what else is out there?

Hi anon! Thanks for the ask! Fantasy’s such a wide genre, and this is such an open ask, that I’m mostly going to be recommending books with similar feels or themes from other genres, to push you a little outside the fantasy bubble and introducing you to different genres and types of storytelling. If you have a favourite subgenre or trope or author, I can maybe get a little more specific or offer read-alikes.

Also, I don’t know if you knew this before asking, but fantasy is my favourite genre too, so some of these recs are books that pushed me out of the genre as well, or that I found familiar-but-different.

And this is getting long, so I’m going to throw it under a cut to save everyone scrolling.

Science fiction

the Vorkosigan saga by Lois McMaster Bujold - This is space opera, which means it’ll have fairly familiar plots except with science-y things instead of magic. There’s an heir with something to prove, heists, cons, and mysteries, attempted coups and assassinations, long-suffering sidekicks, and a homeworld that’s basically turn-of-the-century Russia but with fewer serfs. It was one of the first adult sci-fi books I read and genuinely liked.

The Book of Koli by M.R. Carey - I finished this recently, and the second book of the trilogy just came out. This is post-apocalyptic sci-fi, but not grim or particularly complex. (Some SF gets really into the nuts and bolts of the science elements; this isn’t that.) Basically, Koli’s a teenager who wants more than his quasi-medieval life’s given him, and finds himself in conflict with his village (and then exile) because of it. I could see where the story was going pretty much from the start, but I loved the journey anyway.

The Martian by Andy Weir - This doesn’t have much in common with fantasy, but it’s my go-to rec for anyone who’s never read science fiction before, because it’s funny, explains the science well, and has a hero and a plot you get behind right away. In case you haven’t heard of it (or the film), it’s about an astronaut stranded on Mars, trying to survive long enough to be rescued.

Foreigner by C.J. Cherryh - This is an alien first contact story, about a colony of humans in permanent quarantine on an alien planet. The MC is the sole social liaison and translator, explaining his culture to the aliens and the aliens to the human, and working to keep the peace—until politics and assassins get involved. It’s been over a decade since I read this, so my memory’s blurred, but I remember the same sort of political intrigue vibes as the Daevabad trilogy, just with fewer POVs.

Who Fears Death by Nnedi Okorafor - One from my TBR. It looks like dark fiction about women, outcasts, and revenge, which sounds very fantastic and the MC can apparently do magic—but it’s post-apocalyptic Africa.

Speaking of political intrigue and sweeping epic plots, the Expanse series by James S.A. Corey has both in spades. Rebellions, alien technology, corrupt businesses, heroes doing good things and getting bad consequences, all that good stuff. It takes the science fairly seriously, without getting very dense with it, and will probably register as “more sci-fi” than my recs in the genre so far.

Oh, and Dune by Frank Herbert is such a classic chosen-one epic that it barely registers as science fiction at all.

Graphic novels

It’s technically fantasy, but assuming you’ve never picked up a graphic novel before, you should read Monstress by Marjorie Liu. Asian-inspired, with steampunk aesthetics, and rebellions and quests and so many female characters. It’s an absolutely fantastic graphic novel, if you want a taste of what those can do.

I’d highly recommend Saga by Brian K. Vaughan. It’s an epic science fiction story about a family caught between sides of a centuries-long war. (Dad’s from one side, Mom’s from the other, everyone wants to capture them, their kid is narrating.) It’s a blast to read, exciting and tense, with hard questions and gorgeous tender moments, and the world-building somehow manages to include weaponized magic, spaceship trees, ghosts, half-spider assassins, and all-important pulp romance novels without anything feeling out of place.

Historical fiction

Hild by Nicola Griffith - Very rich and detailed novel following a girl growing up in an early medieval English court. It’s very fantasy-esque, with battles and politics and changes of religion, and Hild gets positioned early on to be the king’s seer, so there’s “magic” of a sort as well.

The Essex Serpent by Sarah Perry - A widow goes to the Victorian seaside to heal and reawaken her interest in biology. Slow, gentle, lovely writing and atmosphere, interesting characters and turns of plot. Doesn’t actually deliver on the sea monster, but still has a lot to recommend it to fantasy readers, I think.

Yiddish for Pirates by Gary Barwin - The late-medieval Jewish pirate adventure you didn’t know you wanted. It’s funny and literary, full of tropes and set pieces like “small-town kid in the big city” and “jail break”, and features the Spanish Inquisition, Columbus, the Fountain of Youth, and talking parrots, among other things.

The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett - A thousand pages about the building of a cathedral in England, mostly focusing on the master builder, the monk who spearheads the project, and a noblewoman who’s been kicked off her family’s land, but has several other plots going on, including a deacon with political ambitions, a war, and a boy who’s trying so hard to fit in and do right.

Sharon Kay Penman - This is an author on my TBR, who comes highly recommended for her novels about the War of the Roses and the Plantagenets. Should appeal to you if you liked Game of Thrones. I’m planning to start with The Sunne in Splendour.

Lady of the Forest by Jennifer Roberson - Either a Robin Hood retelling that’s also a romance, or a romance that’s also a Robin Hood retelling.

Hamnet & Judith by Maggie O’Farrell - A novel of the Shakespeare family, mostly focused on his wife and son. Lovely writing and a very gentle feel though it heads into dark and complex subjects fairly often. A good portrait of Early Modern family life.

Mystery

There’s not a lot of mystery that reads like high, epic, or even contemporary fantasy, but if you’re a fan of urban fantasy, which is basically mystery with magic in, then I’d rec:

Cozy mysteries as a general subgenre, especially if you like the Sookie Stackhouse end of urban fantasy, which has romance and quirky plots; there are plenty of series where the detective’s a witch or the sidekick’s a ghost but they’re solving non-magical mysteries, and the genre in general full of heroines who are good at solving crimes without formal training, and the plots feel very similar but with slightly lower stakes. Cozies have become one of my comfort-reading genres (along with UF) the last few years. My intros were the Royal Spyness novels by Rhys Bowen and the Fairy Tale Fatale books by Maia Chance.

If you like your urban fantasy darker and more serious, and your heroines more complicated, try Kathy Reichs and her Temperance Brennan novels. Brennan’s a forensic anthropologist, strong and complicated in the same ways of my fave UF heroines, and the mysteries are already interesting, with a good dash of thriller and a smidge of romance.

Two other recs:

Haunted Ground by Erin Hart - The first of four books about a forensic anthropologist in Ireland, who’s called in when the Garda find bodies in the peat bogs and need to know how long they’ve been there. They’re very atmospheric—I can almost smell the bog—and give great portraits of rural Ireland and small-town secrets, and since not all the bodies found in each book are recent, they also bring interesting slices of the past to life as well.

A Burnable Book by Bruce Holsinger - This is essentially a medieval thriller about a seditious book that’s turned up in London. I liked the mystery in it and that it’s much more focused on the lives of average people than the rich and famous (for all that recognizable people also show up).

Classics

Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift - I swear this is actually one of the first fantasy novels but few people ever really class it as such. Basically, Gulliver’s a ship’s doctor who keeps getting shipwrecked—in a country of tiny people, a country of giants, a country of mad scientists, a country of talking horses, etc. It’s social satire and a spoof of travelogues from Swift’s time, but it’s easily enough read without that context.

Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll - Another, slightly later, fantasy and satire! Even more amusing situations than in Gulliver’s Travels and, while it’s been a while* since I read it, I think it’ll be a decent read-alike for authors like Jasper Fforde, Genevieve Cogman, and that brand of light British comic fantasy.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare - Also technically a fantasy! I mean, there are fairies and enchantments, for all it’s a romantic comedy written entirely in old-fashioned poetry. It’s a pretty good play to start you off on Shakespeare, if you’re interested in going that direction.

On the subject of Shakespeare, I would also recommend Much Ado About Nothing, Macbeth, and King Lear, the first because it’s my favourite comedy, the others because they’re fantasy read-alikes imo as well (witches! coups! drama!).

the Arthurian mythos. Le Morte D’arthur, Crétien de Troyes, The Once and Future King by T.H. White, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court by Mark Twain, etc. - I’ve read bits and pieces of the first two, am about 80% sure I read the third as a kid (or at least The Sword in the Stone), and have the last on my TBR. Basically, these stories are going to give you an exaggeratedly medieval setting, knights, quests, wizards, fairies, high drama, romantic entanglements, and monsters, and the medieval ones especially have different kinds of plots than you’ll be used to (and maybe open the door to more medieval lit?) **

Beowulf and/or The Odyssey - Two epics that inspired a lot of fiction that came later. (There’s an especial connection between Beowulf and Tolkien.) They’re not the easiest of reads because they’re in poetry and non-linear narratives, but both have a hero facing off against a series of monsters and/or magical creatures as their core story.

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley - The first real science fiction novel. It’s about the ethics of science and the consequences of one’s actions, and I loved seeing the Creature find himself and Frankenstein descend into … that. It’s also full of sweeping, gothic scenes and tension and doom and drama.

* 25 years, give or take

** There are plenty of more recent people using King Arthur and associated characters too, if this "subgenre” interests you.

Other fiction

Vicious by V.E. Schwab - I don’t know if you classify superheroes as science fiction or fantasy or its own genre (for me it depends on the day) but this is an excellent take on the subject, full of moral greyness and revenge.

David Mitchell - A literary fiction writer who has both a sense of humour and an interest in the fantastic and science fictional. He writes ordinary people and average lives marvelously well, keeps me turning pages, plays with form and timelines, and reliably throws in either recurring, possibly-immortal characters, good-vs-evil psychic battles, or other SF/F-y elements. I’d start with either Slade House, a ghost story, or Utopia Avenue, about a ‘60s rock band. Or possible The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet, which I fully admit to not having read yet.

Devolution by Max Brooks - A horror movie in book form, full of tension and desperation and jump scares and the problems with relying on modern technology. The monsters are Bigfeet. Reccing this one in the same way I’m reccing The Martian—it’s an accessible intro to its genre.

Son of a Trickster by Eden Robinson - Contemporary fiction with a slight literary bent, that doesn’t pull its punches about Indigenous life but also has a sense of humour about the same. Follows a teen dealing with poverty and a bad home life and drugs and hormones—and the fact that his bio-dad might actually be the trickster Raven. Also features witches, magic, and other spirit-beings, so I generally pitch this as magic realism.

The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones - Another Indigenous rec, this time a horror novel about ghosts and racism and trying to do the right thing. This’ll give you a taste of the more psychological end of the horror spectrum.

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia - A good example of contemporary YA and how it handles the complexities of life, love, and growing up. Follows the writer of a fantasy webcomic who makes a friend who turns out to write fic of her story and who suddenly has to really balance online and offline life, among other pressures. Realistic portrait of mental health problems.

Non-fiction

The Book of Margery Kempe - The first English-language autobiography. Margery was very devout but also very badass, in a medieval sort of way. She went on pilgrimages to Jerusalem, was possibly epileptic, frequently “saw” Christ and Mary and demons, basically became a nun in middle age while staying married to her husband, and wound up on trial for heresy, before talking a monk into writing down her life story. It’s a fascinating window into the time period.

The Hammer and the Cross by Robert Ferguson - A history of medieval Norse people and how their explorations and trade shaped both their culture and the world.

A Time of Gifts by Patrick Leigh Fermor - Travel writing that was recommended to me by someone who raved about the prose and was totally right. Fermor’s looking back, with the aid of journals, on a walking trip he took across Europe in the 1930s. It’s a fascinating look at the era and an old way of life, and pretty much every “entry” has something of interest in it. He met all sorts of people.

Tim Severin and/or Thor Heyerdahl - More travel writing, this time by people recreating historical voyages (or what they believe to be historical voyages, ymmv) in period ships. Severin focuses on mythology (I’ve read The Ulysses Voyage and The Jason Voyage) and Heyerdahl’s known for Kon-Tiki, which is him “proving” that Polynesians made contact with South America. They both go into the history of the sailing and areas they’re travelling through, while also describing their surroundings and daily life, and, yes, running into storms and things.

Hope this helps you!

[majingojira]

I guess I'm a little out of the loop. I'm a casual DC fan. I grew up with the DCAU and picked up actual comics a few years back, starting with Rebirt, and generally liked them, but lost interest. What's the deal with Damien Wayne and why isn't he well liked in the fandom apparently?

I honestly DO like him and he’s generally neutral, some fans, some haters.   Damian Wayne is the secret son of Talia Al Ghul and Bruce Wayne, but is a bit of a test tube baby due to Comic Book Science fighting the Sliding Time Scale stuff.  Damian began as a bit of a prick, feeling being Robin and later Batman because it was his birthright, and a lot of his early stories focus on that -- and on him learning to mellow the hell out and realizing that his League of Assassins training stuff wouldn’t make him Batman at all, and he had some bad stuff to atone for.  But to be fair, I haven’t read a lot of his early stuff (it gets weird because it’s Grant Morrison), only really giving him a chance in his Solo (which was all about redeeming past misdeeds), and Super Sons (which is him and Jon Kent bouncing off each other).  Damian fans, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong on this. 

One of the things that bogs the character down is that they’ll occasionally have him unlearn his empathy every now and then.  The last Teen Titans series he was a part of really played up his ego... and also had him run a secret hell prison because ... reasons.  

That the entitlement has a metanarrative aspect to it also hurts things. 

But that’s just speculation on my part. 

Can anyone expand on this/correct me? 

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.9

Sipping his glass of wine, Lance sat at his dining table. Poor Hunk had been overwhelmed in making sure every detail of the meal was perfect for Shay. Pidge had driven Shay out to his house, she’d immediately started complaining that her security system was offline, and had left to fulfil her quest in getting it back up and running. Shay was in the living room with Hunk, Lance volunteering Hunk to give Shay the grand tour of his house. Lance was left with Shiro for company, his eyes trained on the man’s back as Shiro kept checking his chicken soup. With everyone there, it seemed pointless to go ahead and feed Keith separately. Shiro was making his brother socialise, probably to make sure he didn’t expire from being a baby. Lance had the feeling he’d missed something between Keith and Shiro, their bond deep, but Keith seemed off. Like he hadn’t expected Shiro to take mercy on his undead arse. Did it have something to do with Shiro’s nose? There was definitely a story there.

“Lance, I can feel your eyes on me”

“What happened to your face?”

Whoops. That slipped out, zero filter between his mouth and mind

“Is that something that interests you?”

“If I’m honest, I’m more curious than interested. I’m also curious as to why you’re acting the way you are”

“Patience yields focus. I learned that the hard way, and got this scar for using my heart instead of my head”

Lance sighed. Matters of the heart were always complicated

“Before you continue, I’ve got a confession. I’ve never been in love, let alone had a partner. I can’t offer any advice there, but I can listen”

Shiro glanced over his shoulder

“You’ve never...”

“Nope...”

Lance popped the “p”, Shiro was listening to him, so he may as well admit his lameness out loud

“... I never wanted to take the risk. Being what I am is a curse. I never fed from a human and I never slept with one either. I guess it’s stupid, but I always maybe hoped that one day I’d have that kind of love, but I refuse to risk ruining someone’s life like mine was. You know?”

“I do. This isn’t that kind of love. I had a friend who got himself in trouble. He met a girl and fell in love, she was a werewolf, and Matt wouldn’t leave her to her fate. He was the one who introduced me to this world. It’s funny, when I was about your age we came through Garrison. Me, Matt, and his father. Back then the mobile coverage was poor, we ended up out of contact for a week... Matt’s mother and his little sister really laid into us when we got back”

Any mother would. Who just went missing for a week, and why the heck hadn’t the father called through on a pay phone on the way? Talk about irresponsible

“Shiro, I’m sorry to say, I’m older than you. I’m not 18, and I’m not 26”

“Right. Sorry. I forget that. There’s a lot of things about you that remind me of Keith”

“You said Keith had been through something. Was it to do with your friend?”

“No... No, that one’s a little closer to home. I had a partner, and it didn’t end well”

“Oh”

Talk about being insensitive. Lance felt he should be apologising for whatever had happened to Shiro’s partner. Clearly it wasn’t something good.

“I left him for a hunt, he was killed while I was away. Keith didn’t take it well. He had a hard life, but don’t hold that against him”

“He seems a little high strung”

“You have no idea. He carries the weight of sins that weren’t his to carry”

“Them feels right there. Shiro, can I ask you something?”

“You haven’t already?”

Lance bit his lip, looking down at his hands. The question he wanted to ask seemed like too big of a favour. No. He’d ask Coran, but Coran was bound by as many rules and laws as Shiro was

“Never mind. It’s fine. Just... your friend, Matt... he was really lucky to meet you. Living on outside... it’s hard. I’m sure having a friend he could count on helped”

“I wouldn’t be so sure. She bit him, turned him, and left. The last thing I heard he was travelling to find himself and find a cure”

“And her?”

“He said she didn’t mean to turn him. She left him with her heart broken, breaking his as she went. I don’t know her well enough to pass judgement. Like a vampire’s bite turns a person, a single scratch from a werewolf can too”

Lance shook his head. A bite maybe, with saliva, a scratch not so much

“I’ve met werewolves. It’s all about the blood. Your friend would have had to ingest her blood... I think. I try to avoid werewolves. It’s not my business to say anything. Sorry, just forget that I mentioned it”

“You’re trying to understand”

“It’s been 36 years and I still don’t. We should start setting the table. The others will be back soon”

“Need help?”

Lance raised an eyebrow. Shiro seemed semi domesticated, he’d probably had a hundred fancy dinners back with the other Blades

“You know how to set a table?”

“I know how to imitate setting a table. I do get a bit confused with all the fancy knives and forks”

“That’s easy, you start from the outside in. I bet Keith’s all like “I only need one knife and one fork, let me eat like a Barbarian”

Shiro chuckled

“Pretty much. I don’t think he’d use cutlery if he could get away with it”

“Great. He’s a cave man with a mullet. Fantastic”

*

Keith was coaxed out his room by Shiro, sullenly sitting across the table from Lance on the opposing end. Shiro seated beside Pidge, with Hunk and Shay sitting on the opposite side. Dinners at his house were always loud events. Pidge had piled her plate high, armed with a just a fork like the heathen she was, she was all smiles. She’d really taken a liking to Shiro, maybe because she was talking the man’s ear off

“I never thought you’d be here again. It’s a good thing you left your camera here. Anywhere else and it probably would have grown legs and walked”

Shiro laughed as he grabbed himself a bread roll

“Hunk said the same. We’re lucky Lance is such an inviting host. Normally we’re too busy to sit down for dinner like this”

Stuffing her face with lettuce, Pidge nodded, the bond between her and Shiro already felt like two siblings reuniting.

Chewing quickly, Pidge was stabbing at her stuffed potato before she swallowed her lettuce. For someone who required oxygen, she seemed to forget that with the speed at which she ate

“Yep. Hunk’s got mad kitchen skills. Lance isn’t bad. Don’t tell my parents, but dinner here is much better than home”

“Speaking of your parents, what do they do?”

“Mum and dad are both professors in Platt. Mum insists on big family dinners, Italian background and all that. I don’t know why though, since my brother took off, it’s just the three of us at home for them”

Shiro nodded along as she spoke

“So you have a brother?”

“Yep. His names Matt. Matthew Holt if mum’s in a mood. Full names always mean trouble. He’s been backpacking through Europe. Apparently he’s too good to contact us now”

Shiro choked hard on the piece of bread he’d just popped in his mouth. Quickly washing it down with his beer, Lance observed the very obvious change in his demeanour

“Matthew Holt... hang on, are you Katie?”

It was Pidge’s turn to choke. No one but Pidge’s mother ever called her Katie

“How do you know that?”

“I know your brother. I’m Shiro. Takashi Shirogane”

Pidge’s eyes went so wide it was comical, gaping at the man sitting next to her

“You’re Shiro! Holy fucking shit! No way!”

Across the table, Hunk looked to Lance, then to Shiro, then to Pidge, then to Shiro again

“Care to share?”

“Shiro was Matt’s best friend. Do you remember that road trip I told you about? Where Matt and dad totally went missing, Shiro was there too! Holy shit, man! It’s been... what? 5 years?

For Lance the revelation made his stomach drop. Matt... Matt as in Pidge’s Matt, was a werewolf. A turned werewolf. A turned werewolf that was distancing himself from his family in the hopes of a cure...

“8, since I last saw you”

Pidge let out a whistle

“Holy shit. Does Matt know you’re here? Like, in town? Dude, they were like besties in high school. Shiro and Matt were always off chasing ghosts, they wouldn’t take me with them though”

“We never did find any proof”

Dirty rotten liar. Shiro never should have said he knew Matt. He should understand what it mean to have someone that wasn’t human in the family, someone naive enough to think there could be a possible cure out there. “Everything on the planet had been gifted by God. Everything on the planet had a cure waiting to be found. It was through God that all things were made possible”. His Mami had told him that, she didn’t have an answer as to if God still loved him. A naive child’s question. Pidge pushed her chest out, sitting a little prouder

“That’s because you didn’t have me. Seriously, have you heard from him? It’s like he’s dropped off the face of the planet. He said he was going to Rome, but that was weeks ago”

“I haven’t heard from him in a little while either. I never thought the little Katie I remember in dresses would be you”

“I never thought Matt’s best friend would be showing up with a scar across his face! Mum would flip her lid if she saw that”

“Would you believe it came from fighting a werewolf?”

Pidge laughed openly

“Only if you believe I’m a ghoul, come to feast on your flesh!”

“I’ll keep that in mind. So, now I know about Pidge, what about you, Hunk? How goes the world of a paranormal investigator?”

Hunk was too busy making “lovey“ eyes at Shay. Pidge happy to continue talking to Shiro

“Hunk’s my wingman. It’s awesome because his dad lets us use the welding gear at the garage. We don’t have the money to buy all the fancy equipment so we build what we can”

“Really? What out of?”

“Car scraps mostly...”

“You do know ghosts are repelled by iron...”

Pidge gaped at Shiro, Lance wished he’d stop feeding her curiosity in the subject

“That are? I read that was a myth”

“Yep. Iron. Have you done any road trips cryptid hunting?”

“Yep! Mothman was a must. We did that one the first year of college. Lance was the only one with his own car at the time. Took us days to get out there, then he got bogged. We did the whole Sasquatch thing too. Not to shoot it, because that’d totally be a dick move, but to take a look around. I keep trying to tell Lance he needs to open his mind and believe more. I mean, even the bible references spirits and tells us no to play with them. And God admits he’s not the only god out there... There’s so many myths and legends, they all have to come from somewhere. But there’s also soooooo much crap out there, and then there’s mistranslations, and people interpreting things their own way... I just wanna hunt ghosts”

“Oh, no. You went and set her off, Shiro”

Shay giggled, Pidge shooting her a dirty look

“You’re supposed to be on my side”

“I am. I’m just saying that there’s no way a whole other world could exist just beyond our fingertips. If there was, science would have proven it. They say all these psychic videos exist that prove people like that exist, but, like, where’s the videos? Why are they hushing it up if it’s the next stage of human evolution. I think it’s even harder these days. The lines have been blurred with cultural misappropriation, and dumb people only wanting to steal stuff because they’re greedy morons. Like, if you’re not Native American, you can’t sage a room, and you shouldn’t be making and labelling any old thing a dreamcatcher, you dig?”

Lance nodded at Shay. In an ever changing world, some things remained. Like stupid people were always going to be stupid

“It’s always the quiet types. They open their mouths and out comes something unexpected”

“I happen to like the way Shay thinks”

Hunk jumped to Shay’s defence like he thought Pidge was insulting her, not impressed and pleased with Shay’s answer

“Aw, I like the way you think too, babe”

Shay winked at Hunk, who went bright red

“T-Thanks”

“You’re welcome. Tell me more about the work you guys do. I’ve always kind of wanted to see it first hand. Do you use a ouija board?”

“Nope. Those things are dangerous we fuck. You can’t control what you reach, nor can you send them back safely. We like to go in and record. See, if a spirit reacts right away, it means they want you out of there like ASAP. Most spirits hide themselves, that’s why you don’t get good readings. I mean, like, if a stranger rocked up at your house, you’re gonna wanna hide from them, am I right?”

“I guess?”

Pidge beamed, before launching into further details about her thoughts on the paranormal world. Lance felt sick. His stomach somewhere near his toes. Shiro had burdened him with a secret he shouldn’t have known. Pidge loved Matt but Matt was no longer the man she loved. She was so eager to be part of that world, she’d let herself be bitten if she ever knew the truth. Matt was doing all he could to keep his family safe from by staying away. He knew those feelings too well, and the internal wounds of being turned felt like as fresh as they did that day. He could almost feel the fangs on his flesh, here the laughter as blood was drizzled into his mouth. Waves of pain so intense they crushed the pain of his sires beating the shit out of him for fun. He’d screamed and begged, cried for his Mami and Papi, only to be openly laughed at. His stomach heaved, vomit barely swallowed back down. Pidge’s voice seemed to echo around his aching head as if she was equiped with a microphone and a thousand speakers.

“Lance, buddy, you okay?”

Smile. He had to smile. This was Hunk and Shay’s night. They were finally going to start dating. Absolutely nothing could go wrong. He smiled at Hunk, picking his wine glass up in what he hoped was a casual move

“Sure, just a bit tired from this flu”

Lance hoped he was smiling enough. His complexion was most probably horrid. He should have slapped a layer on foundation on to give him a much healthier glow

“Are you sure? You’ve gone really white”

“Buddy, light of my life, brother from another mother, I swear you worry far too much about little old me. I’m okay. Honestly I started zoning out as Pidge got carried away with her theories again”

Beneath the table, Pidge kicked him in the ankle

“Rude, much? Shiro’s interested, aren’t you Shiro?”

Shiro scratched the back of his head

“Totally. But, you lost me when you switched to alien encounters”

Pidge wrinkled her face up in annoyance, the pout was strong as she crossed her arms

“You all suck. Except for you Shay”

Shay giggled

“I know, I’m awesomeness embodied”

“You’ve got that right”

Hunk clamped a hand over his face, blushing beet red. Shay giggled again, leaning in and kissing him on the cheek

“I can always count on you, Hunk. So, Lance, have you got any embarrassing stories about these two you can share?”

“Well, the first thing that comes to mind is when we went hunting Mothman...”

Pidge shot forward in her seat

“Don’t you dare!”

“It’s more cute than embarrassing...”

“Lance, I swear I’ll stab you in the eyeball if you keep going”

Shay threw her head back as she laughed. Lance locked eyes with Pidge

“See, Pidge was super excited. So excited that she...”

Pidge raised her knife, Lance holding his hands up in surrender

“I guess I better not finish that”

Pidge had been so excited that she’s gone running off, slipped in a puddle, fallen face first in the mud with her beloved video camera. She’d been so pumped for the trip she’d packed everything but clothes. They’d had to buy really lame gimmicky clothes from the closest service station which had swum on her small frame

“Good boy”

“Damn, Lance. She’s got you trained”

Lance nodded at Shay

“Our little gremlin here can be pretty intimidating when she wants to be”

“I’ll bet”

“You should see her when she hasn’t had her morning coffee”

“I can imagine the horror”

“I don’t think you can. It’s like Satan has risen from the depths of hell to possess her”

Shay kept laughing, Hunk was so smitten with her that Lance wanted to grab them both by the backs of their heads and make them kiss

“Oh no!”

Pidge blew a raspberry at him, not enjoying his teasing

“Merp!”

“Merp, yourself. You know you’re not the greatest person ever in the morning, but we all love you just the way you are”

“I hate you. Why do I hang out with you again?”

“Because you need someone who can drive and lug all your junk around”

Pidge sighed dramatically

“Dammit. Stupid fine print. You know, I can’t deny that”

“Yep. Guess you’re stuck with me”

“Until your uses run out”

Lance pouted, clutching at his chest

“I’m wounded. Years of devoted friendship and this is how you treat me”

“Gotta be mean and keep’em keen”

“Don’t think I won’t remember this. To very last breath I’ll remember how you wounded me”

Pidge snorted with laughter, he loved it when she finally cracked. It was worth all the teasing

“You’re suck a dork”

Lance shot her finger guns, not feeling the least bit better internally

“Takes one to know one”

[superman86to99]

Superman: The Man of Steel #27 (November 1993)

Lex Luthor Jr. throws a party in honor of Superman's resurrection in his fancy blimp, but some Underworlders rudely barge in uninvited. Also, they try to kill everyone, which is even ruder. These buttfaced sewer mutants are upset at one of the blimp's VIP guests, Project Cadmus Director Paul Westfield, for flooding their home and drowning a bunch of them a while back. The Underworlders go to some mysterious S&M enthusiast called Bloodthirst to ask for a way to kill Westfield, and when he suggests blowing up the blimp, one of them is like "But innocent people will die!" Bloodthirst then demonstrates his blood thirst by killing that guy in front of the others, who decide to go on with the plan.

Meanwhile, Lois Lane investigates the strange fact that unprofitable buildings owned by LexCorp are crumbling or going up in flames, supposedly due to Doomsday's fault -- apparently, he punched Metropolis so hard, shit is still falling down months later. Surely good ol' Lex Jr. has nothing to do this! Lois attends the blimp party intending to talk to Lex Jr. about the exploding buildings issue. He's very eager to talk to her too because, hot damn, look at her.

(Not sure if Jimmy is drooling because of Lois or because he's just Jimmy.)

That's when the Underworlders (who snuck in using cloaking devices to hide their ugliness) start hassling Westfield, and soon all hell breaks loose in that classic Jon Bogdanove style. Superman makes his fashionably late entry to the party right in time to save Lex Jr. as he falls to his death. He also gets rid of the Underworlders pretty easily (despite the giant '90s weapons Bloodthirst gave them) and takes the blimp down safely.

The next day, Lois has her formal interview with Lex Jr. and he tries to get fresh with her, which cements her impression that he's just like his "dad". Come on, that's unfair! Then Lex sees her making out with some mild-mannered dweeb with glasses and a ponytail and decides everyone must "burn" so, uh, maybe she had a point.

Character-Watch:

First actual appearance of Bloodthirst, who was first mentioned (as "Blood Thirst") almost exactly one year ago on Man of Steel #18. Right now, all we know about him is that he likes to go around sowing chaos in cities around the world, and now it's Metropolis' turn. He won't stick around for long, but considering that we've got two major storylines called "The Battle of Metropolis" and "The Fall of Metropolis" coming up in 1994, I'd say he was pretty successful. (Also, just realized that Lex's "they'll all burn!" moment is probably foreshadowing that too.)

This is also the debut of a surprisingly much more durable character: Franklin Stern, aka "Frankenstern", the Daily Planet's publisher and an old buddy of Perry White. Looking forward to the issue with their youthful KKK-punching adventures.

Plotline-Watch:

This is actually the beginning of the end for poor Lex Jr. So far Lois and Clark have more or less been unaware of his shitty side, but now that she's got his scent, he's screwed. Ironic that after causing so many murders and supervillain terrorist attacks, in the end it's insurance fraud what will eventually cause Lex's downfall.

On top of that, Lex is losing his shapeshifting alternate dimension girlfriend, Supergirl. He's mad at her for going to fight the Cyborg in Engine City and then disappearing for a few days (because she was posing as Clark Kent), and then she gets mad at him for ignoring her to go gawk at Lois. You can do so much better, girl! Hell, even a caped horse would be preferable to this guy.

Another significant event in this issue: Lois gets a haircut! And it's Cyndi, the same hairdresser she visited almost four years ago in Superman #45, which pleases my continuity obsessed-ass.

After being the star of this comic for the past several months, Steel barely appears for a few panels, in which his psychic pal tells him "see you in Washington". Apparently she's been reading the solicitations for his solo comic. Speaking of solo comics, note Superboy staring longingly at a headshot of his friend Tana, who just moved to Hawaii...

Pa Kent is almost as heartbroken about the fact that he can't eat Ma's famous rhubarb pie (since he's on a diet after his heart attack).

Finally, this is also the fateful issue in which Clark Kent decides to become roommates with Jimmy Olsen, since his parents gave up his apartment while he was dead. Is... Jimmy tugging on Clark's ponytail? (Whit looks devastated that Clark didn't room with him instead.)

Patreon-Watch:

Special shout out to our very first Patreons ever, Aaron, Murray Qualie, Chris "Ace" Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, and Patrick D. Ryall! To be as cool as them, and gain access to two exclusive ‘90s Superman-related articles (with more coming every month), plus new Superman art from Don, click here: https://patreon.com/Superman86to99

And speaking of Don, stick around for his section after the jump!

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow​):

We open with a great cover, echoes of my favourite Bogdanove image, his pin-up in Action #600.  There’s just something about Superman rescuing kids from a fire that really works. [Max: Same! It’s why I love the panel below, too.]

Inside the issue, I was struck right away with what I viewed to be the start of Bogdanove’s looser, late style.  Bogdanove’s art was always a little looser and more cartoony than the rest of the super books, but after what I viewed as top level effort during the “Death” and “Return” storylines, Man of Steel settles into a pretty sketchy, almost carefree style that really sets it apart from the more realistic art of the other books.  As much as I think this could have to do with Bogdanove (I noticed a similar looseness toward the end of his Power Pack run) I actually think the layouts look more or less the same as the previous issues, making me think it might be the inking that is getting a little loose, relative to previous issues, with thicker, flatter ink lines than during the “Return” storyline, or certain issues when Janke was inking Ordway.  (I say all of this with the caveat that everyone involved is about a million times better than me as an artist, these are just my observations—I wish I could be as good as Bogdanove, or Janke’s sloppiest work on my best day!)

That’s not to say that there isn’t still some amazing imagery in this issue.  The full page splash, on page 5, of Superman soaring back to Metropolis with Lois in his arms is great—I love the lighting effects coming up from the bright city, as well as the motion created by the swirling cape.  Nice, nice stuff.

The next page is a cute and intimate look for Lois in her terrycloth robe which was a highlight for me.

Page 12’s half-page spread of the cityscape, with zeppelin is very well done, and Supergirl’s transformation on page 13 looks great.  The way she is drawn here also highlights the ongoing creepiness of her relationship with Lex II, as she looks very young, which she definitely is, especially mentally at this point.

Bog always excels at the more cheesecakey panels and the first look at Lois’ Teri Hatcher inspired haircut (and evening gown) doesn’t disappoint (though I could have done with losing Jimmy literally drooling!). The full page splash of Superman lifting the gondola is another great image.

STRAY OBSERVATIONS

Lots of Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman stuff in this issue, as Max pointed out.  They make reference to Lois getting her hair cut, and also hastily mention that Ma Kent is losing weight, and will cut her hair, perhaps in an effort to align the show closer to the look of Martha Kent as played by K Callan. [Max: Wow, I actually hadn’t noticed the L&C haircuts similarity but it makes total sense.]

We’re fully in the Tarzan-hair era (don’t call it a mullet) and Clark’s hair is never longer than when he’s being drawn by Bogdanove.  The ponytail is tough to take, but adding a medallion, as Clark has on page 7, is a bridge to douchiness too far, for me. [Max: Maybe he got it from Jeb?]

Page 10 has a kid in a Sunsoft t-shirt, a reference to the video game maker responsible for the 1992 (hard as hell!) Superman game, and 1994’s The Death and Return of Superman.

I like that even someone as rarely seen as Lois’ hairstylist is still consistent, as Cyndi last appeared in Superman #45.

I find it interesting how long it took for Lois to get wise on Lex II—the original Luthor was so evil, I always found it a little unbelievable that he could keep up the act long enough to fool anyone, masquerading as his own son. [Max: I think the Jesus look helped make him appear more saintly.]

[thewebcomicsreview]

Aw jeez, there’s the second Homestuck 2 update of the month. Now I gotta liveblog it, which is going to take-

Uh, not very much time at all, apparently? It’s only one page, vs the other update’s 25, so either this is a hell of a page or the 2,000 patrons who contributed to have “two updates a month” are gonna be super mad.

Oh it’s a big tall infinite canvas page. Neat! Rose is bored of the last update and is wandering off. Was she not creating a species of her own, then, or is she done with that? 

The dissonant hum of struggling mechanics fills Terezi's ears as she sits, cross-legged, on the floor of the now-ruined engine room. She likes it here. The soft whitenoise ringing of the extensive ventilation network sounds, if she closes her nose just right, like the rustle of wind through the leaves of a treehive universes away.

An entire fucking alien planet to explore and Terezi goes back to the ship she’s been stuck on for three years. Admittedly Deltritus is apparently less interesting than the game worlds, but come on! These kids need to go outside! 

ROSE: And resurrecting my meat puppet would not only be difficult to the point of being worthless, it would also be extremely lame. ROSE: Not that it would be out of character for this story. We live and breathe on the stupefyingly mind-numbing, and the mind-numbingly stupid. ROSE: But then we begin to veer toward dissolution, yet again. TEREZI: 1F WH4T YOU'R3 S4Y1NG 1S TRU3 TEREZI: 1F 4 STORY H4S TO B3 COMP3LL1NG TO B3 C4NON TEREZI: DO YOU R34LLY TH1NK D1RK 1S TH3 TYP3 TO T3LL 4 COMP3LL1NG STORY TEREZI: H1S T4ST3 1N 4N1M3 4LON3 1S CONC3RN1NG

ROSE: It didn't happen because it didn't happen. TEREZI: 1F 1 H4V3 TO H34R ON3 MOR3 T4UTOLOGY FROM 31TH3R OF YOU 1 4M GO1NG TO MOV3 TO TH3 WOODS 4ND PL4GU3 YOUR N3W SOC13TY 4S 4 H3RM1T BOG MONST3R FOR3V3R ROSE: See, that's more the spirit. ROSE: Become as myth, Terezi Pyrope, the troll under the bridge you were always meant to be.

Is this racist, in-universe? 

TEREZI: WH4T'S TH3 PO1NT 1N CONT1NU1NG TH1S STORY 1F TH4T W4S M34N1NGL3SS TEREZI: 1F LORD 3NGL1SH W4S JUST HOLD1NG UP TH3 WORLD TEREZI: 1F 1T T4K3S 4CT1NG L1K3 H1M TO K33P 1T 4L1V3 TEREZI: WOULDN'T 1T B3 B3TT3R TO JUST L3T 1T D13

I’m kind of about this meta horseshit, if we’re being entirely honest, and if someone calls attention to the question of where in the fuck 13-year-old-from-2009 Dave Strider picked up the term “Neoliberal”, I’ll forgive this comic a lot of its flaws.

At the same time, there’s only so long I can read a comic about whether or not I should be reading a comic. 

Rosebot looks over at the plinth where her body sits, kept alive, sure, but atrophied and weak, dependent on this machine to continue projecting consciousness to the abiotic enclosure keeping the realization of the Ultimate Self from tearing her apart.

I suspect that Rose’s comatose body is a metaphor for Homestuck as a whole, here.

Wouldn't it be better to just let it die? Terezi isn't asking new questions. Rose had first threatened suicide when she was eight. (She couldn't bear the thought of attending the funeral her mother was organizing for her beloved cat, Jaspers.) When she was ten, she put on her coat and stood in whipping winter winds on the balcony overlooking a frozen waterfall, imagining the plunge with a blank expression on her face, eyes stinging from the New York cold. (Her mother had drunk herself to sleep with the vacuum on, again, the mechanical wailing inside playing a chord with the gale outside, inescapable.) But her first – and only – real attempt was a success.

Jesus, what a fucking callback.

Also, if you’re not as versed in the DEEPEST LORE as I am, Rose’s successful first attempt to commit suicide is not actually a reference to her being put into a robot body, it’s a reference to the suicide mission from Cascade that created the Green Sun and caused her (and Dave) to ascend to godhood. Suicide in one form or the other tends to follow the Strider-Lalonde family, as Dirk killed himself in Homestuck, and the Candy Dirk killed himself in the epilogues as well. Roxy being the odd man out there. Rose’s first suicide created canon. Her second one could end it. 

That was a step too far. Tensions that once simmered under the surface have found the catalyst for a boil. Terezi and Rosebot's repartee of words is replaced by the dissonant notes of clanging and smashing as they roll around on the floor of the crashed Theseus's central chambers, throwing punches and smashing into control panels in a crescendo of chaos.

I’m having some difficulty accepting that Terezi is able to successfully fight an angry robot. Vriska certainly couldn’t.

Dirk’s irritated reference to the Bechdel Test irritates me, now, given that he’s supposed to be a stand-in from people who thought Homestuck went off the rails in Act 6. It’s kind of an obvious bitter shot at the fanbase. 

Also, and I get that he’s the bad guy and it’s supposed to be hypocritical, but Dirk Strider spent the entirety of Homestuck 1 whining about his feelings and didn’t really contribute to the “plot” in much of a meaningful way.

And...wow, yeah. That’s the whole update. It’s significantly shorter than all of the others, and the last update was also a bit shorter than the previous chapters. This is also the first chapter to directly follow from the previous one, and it sure looks like they did “two updates” this month by chopping off a chunk of a normal update and calling it it’s own thing. But they did have the big tall panel, at least, so that’s something. This is also the first double-update month, let’s be fair, so maybe we can call it a mulligan because they had short notice that they’d need two updates in February.  

[deehollowaywrites]

Title: Doomed to Fail: The Incredibly Loud History of Doom, Sludge, and Post-Metal

Author: J.J. Anselmi

Release: February 11, 2020

Genre: music, nonfiction, memoir

Order here!

When I first heard Metallica’s “Battery,” I knew I’d found the real shit, J.J. Anselmi’s newest states in an early chapter. The social alienation, the depression, the anger, and the preoccupation with death: it was the music I needed, right when I needed it. Similar stories abound in volumes like Jon Wiederhorn’s Raising Hell and a recent academic anthology of gender, sexuality, and heavy metal analyses; the typical pathway to extreme music, it seems, is youthful aggression, disaffection, or malaise. It’s not very cool to recall that your teen rage was tempered rather than catalyzed by religion. Even less cool to admit that if you are currently swimming in doom’s murk, you only took the chilly plunge because of boys and men. 

A few antecedents, then: The Minutemen. Captain Beefheart. Def Leppard. The Mars Volta. 

Edgy enough, weird enough, almost metallic enough, nearly harsh enough. It’s easy to see the slippery slope, to hear my mother’s voice in my head. If that’s what you want to spend your money on, she said of The Mars Volta’s full-length debut, I guess it’s your money. A year or so later, she would be interrogating me about certain media downloads to the family desktop--not because I was infringing copyright via poorly-labeled LimeWire files, but because the music was the sort that drove away the Holy Spirit (to be fair, Master of Puppets didn’t inspire any epiphanies). Mormons are very concerned with the Spirit’s presence. Movies and music are the fastest and most seductive shortcuts to becoming lost in a mire of worldliness, spiritual miasma, and sin. Interestingly, my mother was less perturbed by my weekly emails to a much-older dude I’d “met” on a geek forum, he of the curly beard and Captain Beefheart appreciation. For a suburban teenage girl reading SPIN in 2003, music in particular seemed a clear Point A to ineffable cool’s Point B, as evidenced by--although at the time I wouldn’t have phrased it thus--fuckability. Whiteboy music journalists, from Klosterman with his contrarian hair metal love to Azerrad deifying The Minutemen, had Ideas about what made rock music good. It was a trail of breadcrumbs that could be followed by anyone, so maybe I’d start off as me and end up as Brody Dalle. Of course, wanting to be punk is proof that you're destined to remain square, so the guy in the homemade Leftöver Crack t-shirt likewise stayed a mystery. Meanwhile, I made a fansite about The Mars Volta for my web design class, wrote an AP essay about why filesharing is good, actually, and counted the days ‘til graduation.

Euro-style power metal is romantic. Good make-out tunes. The fine art of getting into something that someone you fancy is into, well, that’s bog-standard for a huge swath of humanity and I’ve never been above it because I do like exploring new things. However, there’s a certain flavor of man who encourages women to listen to music he likes not out of genuine enthusiasm and desire to share, but because filling up a vessel with water from your spring means that you, yourself, will never be thirsty. There’s no rearranging of boundaries necessary for the recommender, no exchange of gifts, no call to reassess your favorites in light of new information. Where things get hairy is when women take what is conferred and make it their own. The vaguely fringe music that had already primed my eardrums led away from flourish-laden prog and high-camp power metal, into weirder and uglier places my boyfriend at the time had no interest in traversing. It stings a bit to realize that your heart is big enough to hold all the loves that comprise the person you love, that your desire is malleable and open, and that they have always been enough by themselves, fully-formed, unswerving as a highway through the desert. It hurts to hear that you’re not doing the thing (metal or comics or horse racing) in the way that was shown you, properly. This might be when the rage starts to seep back in, poisoning the spring. But solo concert-going is only lonely until you make it past the venue’s threshold. After that, the Spirit is always with you.

Myself, I’ve seldom found the divine in places it was supposed to inhabit.

The thing about The Mars Volta that embedded itself in my ribcage seventeen years ago wasn’t their tight jeans: it was how they seemed to have misplaced all their fucks. Prior to Sacha Jenkins’ 2003 SPIN review, the ugliest thing I’d sought out of my own volition was an Anti-Flag album, a suitably edgy move in George W. Bush’s America. Deloused in the Comatorium did not care if you understood what it was going for; an impetus existed behind the unexpected time signatures, dog-bothering vocals, and salsa moves that was alluring in its opacity and bloody-mindedness. A bunch of weirdos recorded a fuck-you in album format because they wanted to. Atmosphere, emotion, tension could all be far more important to a song than melody or lyrics. Listenable was up for debate. Art formed its own excuse. In this way, although the two groups couldn’t be further apart sonically, my heart was made ready for Katatonia. Then Oceans of Slumber. Torche. Black Castle, Thou, Bell Witch, Cult of Luna, on and on, an endless sinkhole opening up. 

A great and appealing contrast of doom metal lies in the apparent dumbassery of its sound. This is broadly true of all metal, of course; Coal Chamber or Megadeth, Black Sabbath or Pantera, metal was music for drop-outs, stoners, school shooters… the purview not only of miscreants, but of boys and stupid boys at that. Punk seemed the smarter option, if you had anger issues, had heard of feminism, or tended toward hobbies like trying to form a Young Democratic Socialists chapter at your school. For older me, trying to rewrite a religious mind into a liberal and cosmopolitan one, prog metal was defensibly slick and impressive, while power metal seemed less openly hateful toward women. All the while, doom lurked beneath layers of nay-saying. Adult men I’ve known, talented guitarists with good ears and smart hands, have sneered at all the seeming lack populating the slower subgenres--lack of beauty, skill, or even aggression in its most recognizable and masculine forms. Yet, for a listener whose favorite pastime is intellectualizing everything in sight, doom is the other side of the sun. 

I don’t… really… understand what a tritone is. I know it’s important, and I could do a bad approximation of the opening of “Black Sabbath,” but definitionally I’m at a loss. Often I have no idea which instrument is making the sound that I like. I don’t know anything about music theory or how to talk with authority about what makes music good, important, or even what differentiates music from other sounds. Maybe a drone metal track is a collection of sounds, rather than a song? My Dream Theater-enthusiast ex figured since I was a nebbishy bespectacled geek, prog would be all I needed. The thinking man’s metal! No one has ever felt threatened by Steven Wilson. You can remain Smart™ while listening to assorted finger-wanky Europeans. In contrast, kicking it with a Texas weed-cult at the skatepark is stupid. Obviously, every genre of metal contains its geniuses, and one of doom’s most lovable qualities is how often unquestionable finesse arrives wrapped in brutal, bizarre, counterintuitive paper. But beyond the plausible deniability of technique and philosophy found in groups like Neurosis is something even more compelling. Sometimes, it just fucking sounds cool.

It sounds like that because someone did it intentionally, gleefully. I wrote a novel like that because I liked how it looked, sounded, felt.

One of the birthrights of normative (white, cis, straight, abled) masculinity is feeling. If you turn out queer, or are socialized as female, or live with the massed connotations of a racist culture written over your skin, overt and violent emotion may be anathema. The power of accessing a fully human emotional spectrum for the first time should not be underrated. The doom bands I grew into loving, independent of the people closest to me who putatively liked similar music, are into feelings. Even, or maybe especially, the ones authority figures wish you didn’t have (and those aren’t always the bad ones. Authority hates it even more if you feel good). If there’s a thing Mormons don’t countenance, it’s feeling bad things and informing people of them, or feeling the wrong good things. Doubt is a big no-no. It’s always better to feel shame when possible. If the Spirit isn’t telling you what you know it should, it’s on you for not listening enough, praying enough, being enough. If the Spirit’s voice isn’t soft and gentle, if it instead materializes in the best growl this side of Obituary, well, Satan quotes scripture too. Meanwhile, doubt--lack of clarity, spiritual and emotional murkiness, bone-deep ambivalence--is doom’s molten heart. Meanwhile, shame--at the self’s fondled hatreds, as C.S. Lewis has it, for things desired and things questioned--is shunned by doomsayers.

The body experiences advance warning. Fury, fear, arousal. Sure, I attribute my openness toward weird music to frustrated teen lust. Sure, I owe Roy Khan and Tony Kakko for first love and redrawn horizons. When fire dies, what’s left is not absence but ash, fertile and generative. Doomed to Fail recognizes that continual plumbing and revolving in uncertainty for its beauty and possibility. Whatever formed my rage and love, those two sides of the same forbidden coin, they belong to me now. 

[fangirlunderground-blog]

Meta Monday

I got involved in fandom in the mid-90s when I was around 14 years old. My cousin @lyndanaclerio sent me VHS recordings of the Sailor Moon dub, and I fell in love... I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before.

Since then, I’ve been in a lot of different fandoms: from manga to YA, Tolkien to Xena, Harry Potter to Teen Wolf, Star Wars to Marvel, and countless mini-fandoms along the way. And I’ve met a lot of cool people online over the years — older and younger alike, including my best friend of 15 years — on all sorts of platforms. I’ve built myself fandom homes on shitty GeoCities fansites and moderately less shitty sites I made from scratch; on Yahoo! Groups and LiveJournal; on AO3 and Tumblr... and that’s nothing compared to others!

But, last week, I turned 36, and according to some, I’ve already overstayed my welcome in fandom by at least a decade. I guess I’m supposed to put all my comics and collectibles on eBay, swap out my fanfiction with whatever the fuck a beach read is, and spend the rest of my life cloistered in my house where I won’t offend society. (I mean, I’m kind of a hermit, but that’s not why.) 

And let me be clear here: by some, I mean some. While there is indeed a frightening trend here on Tumblr, in which some young people have embraced bizarrely conservative views about women and sexuality, with the Trumpian rhetoric to match, I think the problem is bigger than that. I recently talked about the pressure I felt to abandon fandom when I was 25 when Tumblr was still brand new, and nothing like it is today. It’s clear there were (and are) more societal forces at work than just a toxic sub-culture on a struggling platform.

So, this post isn’t about the vast majority of young people in fandom, nor am I here to yell “get off my fandom, you pesky kids!” when no one ever said that to 14-year-old me. In fact, this post is as much for fangirls as it is for fanwomen because you deserve to know that getting older doesn’t mean giving up the things you love. But you don’t deserve to tell others to conform just because you’re uncomfortable that they exist. There are already enough toxic fanboys trying to keep women out of geek culture, so don’t help them hold the gates closed from the outside.

And if you are older, and already let that shit drive you out of taking a more active part in fandom, I’ve been there, and I get it. But you can still come back; not just on your private Tumblr, or your secret AO3 account, but for real and any time. One of the most freeing choices I’ve made is to stop pretending I think all of this is stupid. The world needs more quirky, eccentric women, anyways.

Sorry this one is so long, but apparently I have FEELINGS this month — especially after the Bog of Eternal Stench I had to trot through while researching this one — and there are a lot of people who’ve articulated them better than I did here (see the following meta recs). I promise we’ll move on next week! As always, let the authors know you appreciated their work by engaging however you can. And if you ever feel alienated on this site, please feel welcome to talk to me! 💛  

Fandom - Ageism

Adults in Fandom by @littlesystems, [...] There are a lot of different factors at play with the current fandom purity thing. It’s primarily being driven by minors, which is why I’ve used that as a stand-in, but there are older people who are obsessed with this and younger people who aren’t. Nuance! Exciting stuff. I think the two biggest drivers here are a genuine but misguided desire to make fandom a better place, paired with plain ol’ run-of-the-mill sexism. I’m not the first person to say this and I know others have said it better, but here are my two cents. (Mirror Link)

Age and Experience in Fandom by @tppfandomstats, This month’s @threepatchpodcast episode, When I’m 64, looks at fandom and aging. To go along with these discussions, here are some demographic stats from a few fandom surveys on the age distribution in our online fandom communities. (Mirror Link)

Age Appropriate Activities by @telesilla, So this post, another in a long series of “find a bridge club you embarrassing old ladies” posts, came around. And I adulted hard all day and it just really pissed me off and caught me at a bad time. (Mirror Link) 

Ageism in Fandom by @badtech-reblogs, Seeing yet another post about ageism in fandom and I’m trying to do some root cause analysis. That ageism in fandom is tied up with misogyny is a given. There is almost no age too young to start ridiculing a woman for her hobbies and interests, and even young girls are expected to have a maturity and patience beyond their years. The misogyny is coming in from the larger world outside of fandom like how misogyny, ableism, anti-blackness etc. seeps into all subcultures. (Mirror Link)

Ageism in Fandom: Too Old to Fangirl? by @ravenmorganleigh, @vulgarweed, et al. Most Fandoms are comprised mostly of women, young and old. It’s interesting to me when Young Women– who are the most likely to champion women’s rights can turn around and show their youth-bias when it comes to Older Women in Fandom. (Mirror Link) 

Fandom culture wouldn’t be where it is now if it wasn’t for Old Fandom by @thepalmtoptiger, I almost forgot that ageism in fandom is a thing. Apparently once you hit 25/30 years old you’re supposed to stop having interests in things. People need to freshen up on their fandom history and realize that fandom now wouldn’t be what it is if it wasn’t for older fans. (Mirror Link)  

Getting older doesn’t actually feel like anything by @catchmewhispering, The hilarious thing about growing up, that all the ageist people here are gonna very harshly realise, is getting older doesn’t actually feel like anything. You don’t “turn into” an adult, it’s just another year that passes and, sure, it might become easier to make decisions or figure out how to fix a sticky situation but overall, you don’t suddenly Enter Adult World and never have a goofy thought or a messy moment ever again. (Mirror Link)    

The idea that you will someday be ‘too old’ for the stuff you find fun by @freedom-of-fanfic,  [...] The idea that you will someday be ‘too old’ for the stuff you find fun now is a long-standing cultural message that I’m sure many anti-shippers - many adolescents of all stripes - have absorbed. that message caused adolescent me to think I would outgrow fandom, and I don’t think that message has particularly changed. (Mirror Link) 

If other people in fandom are older than you, by definition, they have been your age by @codenamecesare, [...] If other people in fandom are older than you, by definition, they have been your age. When fans write about younger characters, we’re not peering through a keyhole at young people now and creeping on them. We are drawing on our own experiences, thoughts, feelings and memories of what it was like when we were that age. (Mirror Link)

I’m old as balls by @warlordenfilade, [...] Just realize that with 30+ year old franchises there will be 30+ year old people who grew up with the franchise and still love it.  Tumblr may be a relatively recent platform but fandom as an institution is waaaay older than I am and the Transformers fandom in particular has fans in their 40s and 50s whom I am personally acquainted with, fans who have adapted from photocopy fanzines and snail mail mailing lists to bulletin boards, newsgroups, forums, and, yeah, tumblr, in their many years of fandom. (Mirror Link)

I wish we’d stop telling each other - and ourselves - that there’s a point at which we’re too old for fandom by @vantasticmess​, I spent every year from 14 to 25 telling myself that eventually I’d grow out of fandom: I would get too old to cosplay and I would write my own original stories instead of ‘just’ fanfiction. After all, adults don’t write fanfic and adults don’t make costumes for themselves. Adults get married and have kids and make costumes for their kids and write real stories and get published. (Mirror Link) 

“like, i’m not saying that adults don’t have a place in fandom.” by @porcupine-girl​, @melifair​, et al. [...] Fandom is vast and encompasses a multitude of interests and age groups. We all fandom responsibly, and those who abuse that at the expense of someone vulnerable or impressionable are not tolerated. This does not mean that anyone specific group of fandom should be limited. Nor does it mean that the only entertainment media created ever should be accessible to all viewing audiences. Young fandom will grow to understand this, not only in fandom but in life. (Mirror Link)

“Lmao 30-year-old women don’t belong in fandoms. Go knit or have kids or something.” by @rainbowloliofjustice, @the-salt, et al. [...] It’s the fact I don’t get what these people think happens when you turn 18 it’s not like the second you turn 18 you just immediately lose interest in everything you were interested in at 17 and from then on only like strictly ‘adult™’ things. A lot of people who were in fandoms as teenagers stay in fandoms as adulthood. Fandoms aren’t minor-only spaces and never have been and there’s literally nothing wrong with adults in fandom environments. (Mirror Link)

Older fans are crucial to the survival of fandoms by @muchymozzarella, [...] Not ONLY because they’re literally the ones keeping fandom afloat (AO3 wasn’t created or maintained by kids, let’s just say), but because older fans generally don’t attack or bully or fuck up a fandom by being aggressive or volatile or overzealous, destroying any enjoyment of a medium. (Mirror Link)

PSA by @bugsieplusone​, I’ve been sitting on this post for a while because it probably reveals more about me on a platform that I’d rather not reveal but here goes. I’d like to talk about fandom and ageism. If you are older, you are: Allowed to like things, Allowed to create fan works, Allowed to discuss things with other like minded fans, Allowed to participate. (Mirror Link)

Reblog if Older Fans Are Welcome In Fandom by @cameoamalthea​, For many fandom is a life long passion that starts young, but being a geek isn’t something you have to grow out of and put away. I didn’t start cosplaying until my 20s (I couldn’t have, and probably won’t be financially secure enough to do all the things I want until my 30s). (Mirror Link)

tumblr’s disgust for older people in fandom by @bai-xue​, @awkward-smiley​; [...] I’m young now, but I was scared that I wouldn’t be over fandoms when I got older. I’m sick of it, how about we all just like what we like and not judge people? (Mirror Link)

you are never too old for fandom by @hils79​, [...] You are never too old for fandom and if you think that’s true I pity you when you reach whatever arbitrary age you think is the cutoff point. (Mirror Link)

You are reinforcing a stereotype by @asocialjusticeleague​, @olderthannetfic​, et al; [...] Whenever you question a woman’s right to this space because of her age or parental status, you are reinforcing a stereotype that has effects that reach beyond that one situation. The expectation, for example, that 40 year old men be catered to when writing comics, but that characters of interest to 40 year old women are obsolete or unprofitable. (Mirror Link)

[sophieakatz]

Thursday Thoughts: Yet Another Feminist Movie Test

The people of the internet (myself included) have a lot of fun playing around with the “Bechdel Test” – a simple formula created by lesbian comic artist Alison Bechdel to determine whether a film is worth seeing. This test asks the following three questions:

Are there at least two named female characters in the film?

Do they have a conversation with each other?

And is that conversation about something other than a man?

The Bechdel Test does a good job of illustrating several significant problems in mass media – the lack of named female characters, and the extremely limited range of plots, lifestyles, and character types that these female characters are given. It’s good for pointing out trends that fail to represent the diverse lives of women, and which specifically fail to appeal to lesbians and other wlw (women who like women).

But this little “test” on its own does not actually determine whether an individual film is “feminist.” It’s only three questions, after all.

Since the Bechdel Test took off in internet circles, many netizens have come up with their own media tests inspired by Bechdel’s comic. You can read about a lot of them here, but here are some of my favorites:

The Mako Mori Test: Is there at least one female character, who gets her own narrative arc, which is not about supporting a man’s story?

The Ellen Willis Test: Would this story’s depiction of these two characters still work if the genders of the characters were flipped?

The Topside Test: Does this film have more than one transgender character, who know each other, and who talk to each other about something other than a transition-related procedure?

Deggans’ Rule: Are there at least two people of color in this film, and is the film’s narrative not about race?

The Sexy Lamp Test: If you replaced the female character with a “sexy” lamp, would nothing change about the film?

Today I am adding my own test to the mix. Let’s call it the Want Test.

The Want Test is based on one question: Does what the named female character want matter to the plot?

Of course, this requires that there be a named female character in the movie. I’m taking that as a given. Most films do have one of those, these days. However, this test does not allow a filmmaker to simply point at the presence of a named female character and say that their work is done. This question asks about the relevance of this named female character. Does what she want actually matter to her world? If the answer is yes, give the film a checkmark. If the answer is no, give it a minus sign.

Note that she doesn’t necessarily need to get what she wants, but the movie world around her should react as though her wanting it means something. Villains have desires that drive plots, certainly, but that doesn’t mean that they should succeed. Additionally, many protagonists begin a movie believing that they want one thing and act upon that desire, but along the way figure out that something else is better for them. These stories are all important and I don’t want to bog this test down with the requirement that these characters get what they want, because getting what you want is not always a good thing.

Musicals tend to pass this test pretty easily, especially Disney Princess movie musicals. Cinderella of Cinderella wants to go to the ball – that matters to the plot. Tiana of The Princess and the Frog wants to open a restaurant – that matters to the plot. A main feature of a musical is the “I Want” song – the scene early on where the heroine has a solo about what she wants, setting up the plot of the story. Movies with an “I Want” song consistently get their checkmark from this test.

But this is me we’re talking about, and I’m not going to leave it this simple, now am I? Let’s add some more plusses and minuses to the test.

The titular character of Snow White gets two “I Want” songs (“I’m Wishing” and “Someday My Prince Will Come”). She wants to find love – and she gets it, too. She also spends a lot of time bossing the dwarves out of their slovenliness, for no apparent reason other than that she wants to. That’s enough for a checkmark.

But Snow White is not the only named female character whose wants matter to the plot. The Evil Queen (and yeah, I’m counting that as a name, because it’s how she’s consistently referred to in Disney media) wants to be the fairest of them all, and that want drives her to try to kill Snow White multiple times, launching the entire plot in the first place. If more than one named female characters have wants that drive the plot, then the film gets a check-plus.

However, Snow White does not do as well under this test as it possibly could. Snow and the Queen’s wants directly conflict with each other; they are enemies. Ultimately, for the story to conclude, what one of them wants needs to matter less than what the other woman wants. And that’s not ideal.

Let’s take a look instead at Frozen. Here we have two named female characters, Anna and Elsa, whose wants absolutely matter to the plot. Anna wants to connect with her sister and save Arendelle from the eternal winter, while Elsa wants to protect her sister (and save Arendelle from the eternal winter, but that’s secondary). Ultimately their wants converge, and they help each other get what they want, living happily ever after. If the named female characters help each other get what they want instead of fight against each other, then the film is upped to a check-double-plus.

Now here’s the disappointing side of this test. Sometimes a named female character wants something, and her wants matter – but her wants directly contrast with the wants of a male character. Perhaps she’s the villain who has locked the male character in a dungeon. Perhaps she’s a prospective love interest who doesn’t want to fall for the male character. In this case, while the female’s character’s wants matter, they only matter insofar as the male character is trying to change what she wants or to make sure she does not get what she wants. These films may depict a woman as having desires, but her desires are not actually important – they are an obstacle.

In Toy Story 2, Jessie wants Woody to come with her to the museum in Japan. Woody doesn’t want to go. The viewer does not want him to go. Her wants certainly matter to the world – Jessie’s backstory is arguably the saddest sequence in all of Pixar history, and she nearly sways Woody to her side – but her wants are an obstacle. The film’s triumphant moment is when Woody gets her to change what she wants and come be Andy’s toy instead. As a result, this film gets a check-minus. It passes – but not in a very positive way.

That got pretty wordy. Here is the tl;dr version of the Want Test:

Does what the named female character want matter to the plot?

Yes – checkmark

Yes, AND this is true of multiple named female characters – check-plus

AND these characters help each other get what they want – check-double-plus

Yes, BUT her wants are an obstacle to a male character’s goal – check-minus

No – minus

Now let’s look at some other movies and see how they fare against the Want Test:

Tangled – check-plus. It’s a musical movie with an “I Want” song, and Rapunzel’s desire to see the lanterns sure as heck matters. So does Mother Gothel’s desire to keep Rapunzel prisoner and stay young forever. They’re opponents, so it doesn’t get a double-plus, but it’s still an excellent film.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl – check! Elizabeth Swann is a force to be reckoned with, and the world around her recognizes it right from the start. Alas, she is the only one of her kind. There are other named female characters here, but what they want (to slap Jack) is only ever played for laughs.

Toy Story 1 – minus. Bo exists, but she might as well be a sexy lamp (which, you know, she is). Toy Story 4, on the other hand, earns a check-double-plus in the end. As I’ve written before, that film is entirely about a man learning to put his wants second to what the women around him want. Because of this, Toy Story 4 might even deserve a check-triple-plus.

The Social Network – check-minus. Barely. The film begins with Erica Albright getting fed up with fictional-Mark-Zuckerburg’s assholery and dumping him, which implies that she wants to be treated better. The film gets a check because this want is what sets off the entire plot, and Mark spends the rest of the film trying to impress her in one way or another, but since her wants are one hundred percent in opposition to Mark’s wants, it’s a check-minus.

Mad Max: Fury Road – check-double-plus, easily. This film is a group of women’s journey towards freedom. They don’t all make it there, but the fact that they want it and strive for it literally changes the world.

Ocean’s 8 – check-double-plus. If you need to ask why, then we didn’t watch the same film.

Up – check-plus! Surprised? The female presence in this film isn’t obvious at first glance. But there are two named female characters – Ellie and Kevin (yes, the bird counts, this is a world with sentient animals). While Ellie spends all but the first five minutes of the film deceased, the want that she establishes in those first five minutes – to travel with Carl to Paradise Falls – drives literally everything that Carl does in the film. Kevin just wants to live her life as a mama bird, feeding and protecting her babies, and those wants do matter, in sharp contrast to the wants of the villainous Charles Muntz.

Moana – double-check-plus! Moana, Grandma Tala, and Te Fiti’s wants all align. I can’t remember Moana’s mother’s name ever being said in the film itself (according to the credits her name is Sina), but she has a key moment early on of helping Moana get what she wants, even though that means giving up some of what Sina herself wants, and that’s noteworthy too.

Now here’s where the fun continues: you could also replace “female character” with a different minority! Does what the named Asian-American character want matter to the plot? Does what the named disabled character want matter to the plot? Does what the named transgender character want matter to the plot? So you’ve “inserted diversity” into your film – but what are you doing with it? It’s not enough for us to just be there. We need to matter, as people with desires and agency. We need to matter in films, because we matter in reality. And we haven’t mattered for long enough.

Let’s have a conversation! What other films pass - or fail! - the Want Test? What media tests do you like to apply to the films you watch? Reblog, reply, or retweet with your thoughts!