#aren't partners with one another anymore? which makes me sad. i really do like them as a couple

[lacefuneral]

anyone on this website still ship teal oranges? 😭

[tianshiisdead]

How would you characterize modern day Japan’s relationship with China and Korea? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Ps. Love your art

hello anon i see you have it out for me <3

KFLDHGF JK JK... this is quite a question though 💦 Honestly fairly rocky I'd imagine, but they do hang out. I think there's a contrast between Korchu complaining about Japan and the three of them going to karaoke and drinking together. Inevitably they're going to have a decent level of closeness I feel given how intertwined East Asian modernity is, but that doesn't lessen the antagonism all that much. Korchu harass him on twitter*, and totally justifiably as well LOL Japan is NOT owning up to anything and this is all the reparations they're going to get in the foreseeable future...

On Japan's part, I don't think he's particularly apologetic so much as irritated by them bringing old scars up because 'it was in the past, why are you lingering on old history instead of looking into the future' with maybe an added 'this is why you haven't developed properly like I have' towards China - although he probably can't do that anymore I guess! Sad! I also do think he lowkey looks down on them, and that he has some weird complexes about them as well but that's another conversation. Japan has some sort of 'closer to the west' sense of pride that gets in the way of relations with his neighbors as well, he's really annoying about that, and he has (more than) a bit of nostalgia towards eras Korchu are Not Happy About. He also has a bad tendency of blaming them for his domestic problems which they also aren't very happy about.

This is where I'm going to reveal my bias: I'm definitely less knowledgeable and therefore less confident on Korea-Japan compared to China-Japan, but to focus on China-Japan for a second: I think Japan's actually fairly irritated at China. Like, in general Korchu anger towards Japan far outweigh Japan anger towards Korchu for obvious reasons, but in this case Japan has a thought process like 'I helped you so much in the 80s and now you're stabbing me in the back!!', which China thinks is bullshit of course 👍

Also, lest I make it seem too much like Korchu vs Japan, I'd imagine Korpan complain about China together quite often as well and Nichu commit racism towards Korea separately but they catch each other's gaze across the internet and have a moment of understanding. Japan and Korea play nice when America's looking but fight a lot when America's not looking. They're caught up on each other's latest media and resent that fact. Easia's such a funny region 😨

*China has a twitter through a vpn like all those Chinese gov officials/international correspondents who spend their time dropping twitter roasts all day

**korchupan are not related they're not even slightly related they're not brothers they aren't family no one 'raised' anyone and they view each other as Potential Sexual Partners ok thank u. i see most 'easia Blood Family' takes as being anywhere from a little ignorant to incredibly racist

Ah and thank you so much!! I am so glad u like my art means a lot <33

[stitchthesewords]

I see your tags about the rendubs divorce arc + Ren running off with Bdubs' ex + Bdubs declaring himself king because he can do it better, and I hear you loud and clear

But I am now here with a counter offer, aka you got my thoughts spinning and this relates to a fic I started but never finished because writing angst makes me too sad. (this ask that ended up way longer than I thought it would oops)

What if renthubs polycule (or some flavor of poly hermits i'm not picky) where the three need some time to mentally recover and process the whole king arc. Ren goes to Doc, Etho goes to his single player world and Bdubs goes to Empires.

Doc ends up helping Ren get through his anxieties and fears after being king, including his dynamic with all the people in the rebellion and the feeling that his friends and partners would hate him for everything, which is of course not actually true. And I think that Ren is the type of guy to process things relatively quick and be able to bounce back. So once he is more stable, he follows everyone to empires.

Bdubs runs away through the rift and declares himself a god on Empires, which shows you about how well he is (not) coping with everything. To me, he is the type to loudly declare that he's over it, but he ends up festering the emotions, particularly when no one else is really talking about the king anymore. He's fine, why wouldn't he be fine, he's a god. (side eyeing joel here as well after dl)

Then Etho. Hmm. I think he isn't as bothered by it by the other two but I'm not 100% sold on that either. There has to be a certain melancholy to knowing your partners aren't in the best headspace and not really being able to do much about it. And the guilt about fighting against them and having to be part of the group to kill them. The third life memories would have to be coming in at full force. It may be lower stakes on hermitcraft but I don't think that matters when the memories are that emotionally charged.

I think that in the chaos of the empires collab and then the start of a new year with new projects and tcg and everything, the three don't really get a chance to sit down and talk. Bdubs is hiding away in the monolith drafting up visions of another grand castle base. Etho and Ren see each other more often with tcg matches and, through a number of casual interactions surrounded by other hermits, decide that maybe it would be time to talk. And there wouldn't be a better excuse to talk than a big project.

So the boat race idea is born. Etho and Ren go out to the ice spikes and scope it out. They end up around a fire made of some spare wood and end up talking well into the night. It starts out with plans and slowly ends in a heart to heart, where they finally express their struggles with everything and their commitment to each other going forward. They fall asleep cuddled together in a sleeping bag under the stars.

And bdubs is still festering. He doesn't stop long enough to realize. His days are filled with planning and designing and gathering materials. He works himself to exhaustion so he is too tired to think about who and what he is missing. He's fine. He builds a throne room.

Em you have no idea how insane this ask made me I am. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

GOD! GOD! You are soooooooo right about how they would each react and recover/not recover tbh. And its like - Ren isn't 100% but he's like. He's getting there and being up and moving around will help him out - and Bdubs just. HHHHH Bdubs throwing himself into his work to hide from his woes while putting on the 'I'm FINE! ACTUALLY!!!" im ill. And Etho just having. No clue really god bless him he's looking between the two of them and trying to figure out what the best way to approach everything is.

GOD and then the way you thought about rentho bonding and finally talking bc of the TCG and then going out to build the boat race while bdubs unknowingly is festering back home im hhhhhhh. I am normal about this i am so normal. [They should. play clocks against each other in the tcg where they bond. For no reason. ]

Imagine coming back from having a boat race and doing fun stuff out in the ice to find bdubs having completely thrown himself into an insane task without break and its like. you've gotta figure out how to approach it he cant just fester but he's closed off and hiding behind work to not have to address his feelings. I am normal I am feeling soooooooooooooooooooo normal.

[wackus-bonkus-maximus]

Got another Song rec for Gabriel! Behind Blue Eyes by Sheryl Crow

No one knows what it's like To be the bad man To be the sad man Behind blue eyes

No one knows what's really going on with Gabriel. That he's being manipulated and controlled, that he's not IN control, that he's arguably the most powerless person in the story, and definitely the one who's suffered the most.

And no one knows what it's like To be hated To be fated To telling only lies

Gabriel's HATED, especially by Adrien, the only person left who he really cares about. But he's stuck with it. He has to continue to spout Lila's lies, to dance on her string. And the only person who might have a clue about it is Felix, and even then, it's doubtful that he knows the full extent of it.

But my dreams They aren't as empty As my conscience seems to be

He knows he's morally bankrupt. That he's done horrible things, and would have done more, if he hadn't gotten a very hard lesson in how awful the things he was doing were. He has no such illusions anymore. But still, even with everything... he hopes for things to get better.

I have hours, only lonely My love is vengeance That's never free

Gabriel would like nothing more than to get back at Lila for murdering his friend, for tormenting his son, and tormenting him. But he can't let it go free. Lila would take it out on Adrien, and then on him, personally. She could make him take a swan dive off a roof, if she wanted to.

No one knows what it's like To feel these feelings Like I do And I blame you

This part is one of the few that doesn't really fit. Mostly because Gabriel's very aware that others know what it's like to feel these feelings. He's inflicted them in his son before, after all. And Ladybug's thought that she lost her partner for a long time, like Gabriel lost his.

No one bites back as hard On their anger None of my pain and woe Can show through

We see this in your story, his white knuckles as he bites back on his anger and woe and has to try and suppress it - or has them suppressed for him, it's not always clear which. In any case, Lila will punish him severely if he lets the truth slip.

When my fist clenches, crack it open Before I use it and lose my cool When I smile, tell me some bad news Before I laugh and act like a fool

He has to keep his feelings under control, both good and bad. He has to make sure not to anger Lila either way.

If I swallow anything evil Put your finger down my throat If I shiver, please give me a blanket Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

I think this is more his hope for the future than anything else. That in the future, he'll be free enough for him to be able to ask people to help him avoid going too far again (well he'll probably be in prison, but still). That he'll feel worthy of asking for a blanket when cold, that he'll have built or rebuilt some relationships somewhat.

i am seriously loving all these song recs 😍 and honestly i didn't think there was one out there that fit odnlb gabriel agreste so well, but this one is really haunting and beautiful.

i think you captured his situation really perfectly with this song. gabriel is so alone, and not just alone but also hated by the one person he loves and trapped by a person he thought he could trust. ironically, he's the only one who really understands what adrien is going through. yet, he can't do anything about it! this is his own doing, and remorse and guilt mean nothing. only adrien would probably pity him, but of course, gabriel would never want adrien to know.

i like the last thing you said about gabriel's hope: "my dreams/ they aren't as empty/ as my conscience seems to be." he knows know what he would do better, how he would fix it. and it's not even for the purpose of redeeming himself. it would just be to prevent adrien getting into this situation at all.

[marvelcriminalhoe]

Stumbling West

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Chapter 6

Handled, to a degree

i.e. season 7 episode 14

chapter summery: The end of training is the start of something else

TW: typical Criminal minds case talk

word count: 2,107

AN: Alright so I’m thinks of maybe doing smut in the next chapter? I’ve never written smut before so idk how it will go but I’m willing to try if that’s something people would read. Idk if people want that for this story or not but we will go with whatever my mind comes up with :)

Series Master list

Training with Aaron Hotchner has become your new favorite thing. It’s not just the fact you get to spend extra time with him or that you actually have improved in your training that you don’t feel like you'll embarrass yourself during the triathlon anymore, which was a big concern for you, but because outside of work, when it’s just you and him, without the cases, or team, or piles of paper work, he is a breath of fresh air, and that is not something you thought you would say about your stoic boss when you had first met him. The team might call you Sunny, but he is literally the embodiment of sunshine, and your the only one that knows it.

Not that you mind being the only one that gets to see that.

You’ve trained together everyday you aren't on a case, besides Sundays, those are your rest days, and you usually go and eat together afterwards, either breakfast or lunch, depending on the day you train. You can’t get enough of him. You’ve found yourself always looking for him, even at work or on cases, your eyes constantly drift to where he might be. Aaron Hotchner is a distraction, and you can’t help but crave more of him.

Like right now, training this morning before work, where like most days spent training with you, he smiles and laughs more than you thought he would, and he flirts. Very subtly, but it’s still there, and you like it. He is very good at the middle school type teasing that he is currently giving he, the both of you are running at the park you train at, and he is mocking you, “Come on Sunny, you can do better than that!”

“Hotchner, I will literally tackle you if you don’t let me win.” You threaten. He is over competitive, as are you, something else you both have in common, but unlike you, he actually wins the little races you have while you are supposed to be training.

He laughs, calling your bluff, “Oh yeah? I’d like to see you try.” Speeding up his run.

Don’t tempt me Aaron.

You know you can’t catch him, he always wins. But you would rather watch Aaron laugh his way to your races finish line, than to tire yourself out this early in the morning. He’s only about 30 seconds ahead of you, and as he comes to the end he turns around with his hands on his hips, a huge smile on his face that causes one of your own to appear.

It’s worth losing if it’s to him.

“What was that about if I win again?” He questions you.

You roll your eyes jokingly at him, “Quite Hotchner.”

He smiles at you, that sort of soft smile he’s been giving you more and more. It always makes you have to look away, trying to keep your movements from showing how flustered he makes you.

I really want to kiss him.

You both start walking towards his SUV, when he goes to start another conversation, “It’s nice having a training partner, makes me kind of sad the race is coming up. We won’t have this excuse to see each other.”

“It’s almost like we don’t see each other at work or something.” You try and lighten the mood. You’ve grown accustom to these moments with him, having to give them up now would be a nightmare.

He raises an eyebrow at you, “Well maybe I want to continue seeing you outside of work.”

Your stunned by his bluntness, but only for a minute, before you raise your own eyebrow, “Are you asking me out on a date, Aaron?”

Please be asking me.

“I’m trying to.” He chuckles nervously, looking down before looking back at you through his lashes.

You can’t keep your smile from taking over your face, “I would love to.”

His beamed at you, “Good. How’s Friday?”

Aaron is in the elevator, putting his phone in his pocket, when he greets Rossi as he makes his way in beside him, “Morning.”

“Morning.” Rossi greats back.

Aaron stands quietly, knowing his friend has something to say by the way Rossi looks him up and down, “Did you workout this morning?”

“Yes. I did.” Aaron reply’s flatly.

“And how was the uh, ‘workout’?”

Aaron has to restrain from pinching the bridge of his nose, “It’s called training and it was fine.”

“Right.” Rossi reply’s in his own flat tone, dragging the word out, “Training. For what though?”

Aaron shakes his head, “Just stop.”

But of course, Rossi doesn’t, “You know race day’s almost here. You’ll need another excuse to keep seeing her outside of work.”

Aaron has two options, 1. Tell Rossi he’s already asked her on a date, or 2. Keep it to himself and suffer the consequences of more of Rossi’s advice talks, where he covers Aaron in his office or elevators, places he can’t escape from easily.

He goes with the first option, the safer of the two, though he doesn't know by how much, “It’s been handled.”

“Atta boy.” Rossi smirks at him, giving him a single nod, “When?”

The elevator doors open, making Aaron whisper his answer, “Friday.”

Rossi follows him out, “Come hell or high water Aaron, I will get us home by Friday.”

Me too. Aaron thinks to himself. Can’t miss this.

“I don’t think he wants his victims to suffer.” You say. The team is going over the case on the plane. You are seated next to Derek, across from Reid and Rossi.

Emily and JJ are in the couch while Hotch is seated in his usual spot on the arm rest. He nods at your observation, “And a quick kill is impersonal. And it lacks the thrill on which lots of unsubs thrive.”

“Yet the castration is very personal.” Derek observes, “He probably knew his victims.”

Hotch gives out the assignments for when you land, and you spend the rest of the plane ride going over the victims backgrounds.

Walking into the precinct, you stay behind Hotch and Emily, letting them go first.

“Quinn Parker S.A.C.” The lead investigator introduces himself.

Aaron shakes his hand, introducing himself “Agent Hotchner.” Before also introducing you and Emily, “Where would you like us to set up?”

“This way.” Parker takes you into a conference room the team can use, “Another body was discovered this morning.”

Hotch grabs the file on the new body Parker gave him, “I’ll talk to his wife, you two talk to the families.”

You and Emily nodded, making you way to one of the offices where the first victims family was.

Emily nudged you with her shoulder, “Alright, what do you know?”

“What do you mean?” You question, giving her a puzzled look.

She scoffed, “About who has Hotch all smiley lately. Rossi refuses to give any dirt and you’re the second one closest to him on the team.”

You shrug, trying to act like you don’t know anything, “We don’t really talk about that stuff.”

She shakes her head at you disappointedly, “So you spend all that time training with him and don’t even get the gossip?”

Oh, if only you knew.

The case ended on a bittersweet note, you were able to save the teenage boy, but his father, or his real father you should say, was the last victim.

You were just glad to be going home now, the west coast was not for you. It was Wednesday, still early, so you would land and be back in Quantico around dinner time.

You’re drawn from your thoughts about if boxed mac and cheese was an acceptable dinner choice for an FBI agent, by Derek, “Alright. Who’s coming to the bar tonight, Penelope wants a head count.”

Emily agrees, as does Rossi. JJ, who got a bit beaten up on the case, kindly refuses, while Reid pretends to be asleep, though you know he’s not.

Derek turns his gaze to you, “What about you Sunny? Gonna spend your valentines day with the rest of us singles?”

“I think spending it at home is far more appealing.” You laugh.

In all honesty, you forgot it was Valentine’s Day, not that it would have changed your plans. Spending the night at home, does sound better than spending a Valentine’s Day in a bar.

That is not the type of attention you want.

And speaking of attention you want, your drawn from your thoughts yet again, by Derek, “Hotch, What about you man? Bar on this fine love day?”

Hotch, who is occupying one of the individual seats on the plane, glances up from the file he’s working on. He briefly makes eye contact with you, lingering a little longer on your face than he probably should around a group of profilers, before addressing Morgan, “No. Don’t think that’s how I want to spend my night.”

You finish up your after action report swiftly, thanking the gods above that the case was only two days long, and therefore a small report, before packing up your things. Reid offered to take your file up to Hotch’s office, and as much as you would like some alone time with your very attractive boss, you were also starving, and you really needed a shower to wash all of the motel and plane off of you. With a grateful smile and small thank you, you grabbed your things and headed to the elevators.

Making it home, you decide it’s best to shower first, eat second. You go through your routine, feeling yourself relax after getting clean in your own shower, with actual water pressure, unlike the motels shower you stayed in. Just as you make it into the kitchen to finally get some food, you hear a soft knock on your door.

You open it, surprised to see your very nervous boss on the other side, holding a bouquet of flowers, “Hi.”

“There not roses, but at 7’o clock on Valentine’s Day, I’m surprised I could find flowers at all.” He tells you.

You give him an intrigued smile, taking them from him, “Thank you. But I thought our date was on Friday.”

“It is.” He tells you, a blush making its way up his neck, “But I thought, with our job, maybe we should take advantage of the time we get. If you don’t already have plans, that is.”

I really want to kiss him now.

You nod and gesture to your clothes, “Let me just change really quickly?”

“Of course.” He steps in, waiting for you by your door.

You quickly go to your room, pulling out a black dress from your closet, before putting it on, along with some small heels. Moving to the bathroom, you pull half of your hair back, making it look somewhat presentable, and adding a small amount of mascara to brighten up your face.

This is as good as it’s going to get.

Had I known I had a date, I definitely would have tried harder.

You shake your thoughts away, deciding to not let them effect your mood.

This man has seen you sweaty, after running 5 miles, for the past 2 months. It’s fine.

You make your way back to Aaron, who is waiting ever so patiently by the door.

“You look beautiful,” He tells you, “Ready?”

You nod, grabbing your bag and walking outside with him, locking the door behind you, before taking the arm he has offered for you.

You make it a few steps down your walkway before you stop. Aaron looks down at you, “Everything all right?”

“Yeah,” You nod, “Just- just want to do something.”

He raises his eyebrows at you, waiting for you to continue, but instead of saying anything else, you slowly lean up, slowly closing the distance between the both of you, until your lips meet his.

He’s quick to kiss you back, and it’s a sweet kiss. Delicate and soft and over way too soon. But it also holds a promise for more. One you will be sure to cash in on.

Pulling away, he has a soft smile on his face as he looks down at you, “What was that for?”

You shrug, a small smile of your own shinning through, “Just thought it might help if any awkwardness were to arise.”

He gives a low laugh, shaking his head, before grabbing your hand and lacing his fingers through yours, “Well, feel free to do it anytime you think it might arise then.”

Letting your own small laugh out, you lean your chin on his shoulder for a minute to look up at him, before continuing to walk down the sidewalk to wherever he has planned for you.

****************************

tag list: @bakugouswh0r3

[lie---ability]

for too many times in my life had i been wrong about people. so much that anyone who tries to have anything with me makes me anxious. i even get anxious about my upcoming job at Virus & Partners because new people = chances of any of them hurting me. i have been wrong about people so much that i think it's because i idealize them so much. i mean an example could be us hanging out everyday, do a lot of things together, stay out late together, ditch others for each other, chat each other right after being together the entire day, say i love you and get home safe — and i'd think we're best friends!!! only for her to say we never were. and that she never wanted to be close with someone like me. so it must be me, right? maybe i just fell in love with the thought that she's a great best friend. at the same time i think, no. she was a best friend, she did exist. that version of her existed. or at least did when it was convenient or beneficial to her, but when the time came where it wasn't, she threw me under the bus, become totally different from who i loved. who i proudly said was my best friend. all those months that built up my comfort, trust, attachment — ended up being told as a lie. and if it came from the person herself that they were lies, who am i to say she's just saying that for whatever reason? she said it herself. we weren't best friends even if she said it before. so what was the truth? was i just really stupid and idealistic? or are people just so awful now? it's like i'm this fish in a pond who's so easy to catch with just the right amount of treat. like i'd swim away when you approach but try a bit more and i'd fall for it. attachment issues suck, more so my abandonment issues.

but this post isn't about jodie. this is about my first boyfriend, rikko.

first because rj doesn't count, the fuck? that shit was a joke lol i just got a dose of reality at an early age. no love there at all. who even falls in love at 13? that shit illegal. so yes, rikko is my first boyfriend ♥️ and even though i've dated guys before, he's the only one i ever loved so far. i love him so much. in fact, before i was already starting to think that maybe i'm not capable of love? i mean, i'm aware i'm a mean person. but i didn't think of myself as someone incapable of falling in love. but among the guys i met and dated, ALL OF THEM WERE JUST TO FEED MY EGO. ego ego ego. tell me i'm pretty. keep asking me to go out and let me reject you over and over again. show me how much you wanna take me out on a date again. over and over and all of them were unintended! when i do talk to someone, a part of me tries! maybe this could work? but it kept ending the same way. ego food. which led me to think fuckkk i'm incapable of loving too? what am i here for then tfuck? — until i met rikko! and everything he did and said, i wanted more of it. the more he laughed, the more he cried, i wanted to keep seeing them, even if he laughs/cries for the same reasons over and over. i wanted the things he wanted. i wanted to like the shit he liked, and i did! i hated touch but i love being held by him. he was expressive too! like the other boys! but for some reason, it wasn't ego food. they became credit scores for me. each time he gets a point, it adds up to my reasons why this is it! why this is worth a try! and i struggled and fought hard. the commitment and daddy issues, the anxiety, the fear of abandonment, blah blah and he did and said the right things at the right time he went at the right places, gave the right gifts, promised the right things — all for him to turn out to be just like everybody else. he died months into my life. he couldn't keep up with the character he played, and idk why people keep playing a character on me. jodie played the supportive bff but really wanted to be some sort of main character which i think is rather difficult hence the hurtful betrayal. and then there's rikko, who played the boy i could ever want, but never was that person. he never was that person to his parents and friends, and i thought he would suddenly change for me? that's some boss level pick me girl shit. i love rikko, even now as i type this. i met him january 2020, it's july 29, 2021 today, and i love him so much. but i'm not sure if i should be with him anymore. on principle, morals, self-care, common sense, logic, religion. why? because he died. he died last january 2021. he's no longer the same rikko i fell for. his hands aren't the ones i fought myself to hold. he's not the same person who went all the way from paranaque to cainta for me at 8pm because my dad told me he almost had another baby with someone ON MY BIRTHDAY. he's not the same person i looked at up at Sm Aura thinking he could be the one. and that i belong here, with him. that i love being with him, and he could be other things, but i want to be with him. he didn't know it, but looking at him as he talked about his friends, those things ran in my head. it was the same rikko who got teary eyed when he misunderstood me there at the Sm Aura rooftop, thinking i meant that i was just playing him. the rikko who gave me a necklace for no reason, wore it on me and even had it in a totally unsuspecting case (tea bag) which made the surprise funnier and cuter, is... yep... no longer here. the rikko who kept reminding me i'm redeemable, that i'm not my anxieties, i'm not my bad brain, i'm not my small voice, that rikko is long gone. and still i stayed waiting, making excuses, reasoning out with myself, trusting that he'd come back and funny enough, 7 months in and... he's still gone.

the saddest part is he doesn't want to be like that. or so i think. he tries. i see him trying. i see the efforts. he tries to ask me about my day, about my worries, why i'm anxious, why i'm sad or irritated. he asks me about work, applications and when i'm out with friends or family. he tries to make time for me even now that he prefers valorant over ml with me, i know he tries to play ml with me. he tries to take some time off work to talk to me. he tries to post on social media now, shares my ig stories, joins my tiktoks and get along with my jokes. he tries. i know he does. but that's the thing. he has to try. and maybe those things, he just isn't. and the difference between trying and develop is with development, there is direction. there is progress. with rikko... it's unstable. sometimes he can do this, but the next times not so sure. and as someone anxious with rejection and abandonment issues, inconsistencies are okay, but a lot of them? and major ones? NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT. so many things rikko doesn't know and still he has it in him to say or assume a lot of things about me. one of them is when he said i'm ALWAYS annoyed at him. does he know how many times i get annoyed at things he do? but i don't address all of them not because i don't want to but because i acknowledge that they're not worth the fight or i'm just being hotheaded or immature or maybe inconsiderate. i think first before i act on him because if i learned anything about rikko, emotions have to make sense! which is wrong in the first place but that's who i'm with! but at the times i can't help being tampo, annoyed, or upset, he finds it in him to tell me i'm a l w a y s annoyed? WHEN?!?! i even asked him when and i know he realized it but still he fell stubborn to his pride. does he also know that his gifts don't make me kilig anymore? they just relieve me at this point which is sad!!! fucking sad!!! why? for example, for my virtual college graduation i was getting anxious few days before because i'm worried he won't give me anything or do something for me which will surely trigger my ~neglected issues~ and if i do get triggered, instead of addressing and being there for me, instead of making it up to me, he'd get mad! he'd make me feel that i'm asking for so much, for the impossible, all while i see it happen to people. i see other dudes give their girlfriends things without occasion. i see them try to like the things their girlfriends like, even embarrassing ones that she posts on social media. i see men constantly expressing their love for their gfs, for the person they asked to commit to them. all while i have one who would call me demanding, needy and exhausting. imagine? lol i get anxious he won't fulfill me not because i'd get sad but because he'll get mad when i get upset. he'd make me feel awful and remind me of the reason why we should end. and i hate that. i'm fighting so hard to take it off my mind, i hate thinking that we're incompatible, unhappy and that we're just trying to revive this love we have for each other. that love really isn't enough, even for us. so when he got me this bouquet for graduation, i was 95% relieved and 5% kilig because awwwww but more importantly, I WON'T BE TAMPO WHICH MEANS I WON'T HAVE TO HIDE AND HE WON'T HAVE TO GET ANNOYED AT ME BEING UPSET! as i type this all the more i feel bad because it's so clear i shouldn't be with him anymore. it hurts each time it crosses my mind. i really see rikko as the love of my life. and idk why. because he shouldn't be. the love of your life should be someone who makes you laugh, makes you strong but can also let you cry. the love of your life is the one who holds you on your way out of dark times. the love of your life is the one who corrects you in ways that won't make you feel bad, but in ways that make you feel cared for. that he's telling you so out of concern, not because he thinks you're a difficult sick mental person who needs an on-call therapist and an attending nurse. the love of your life should be the person who makes you cry the least.

but he doesn't deserve it also. maybe he's not ready to be in a relationship just yet. and there was no harm in trying. in fact i'm happy he tried because if he hadn't added me on facebook and hit up on instagram, i would have never known what love was like. i would also have never known how fun and exciting it is to be in love. it's so nice actually! to lie down with someone and just know they'll be there when you wake up and even if you do wake up in the middle of the night, you're safe with them. and no matter what you look like in the morning or how loud you snore or how stretched you are in bed, you are loved by this person next to you. and they chose to sleep with you too. to be as vulnerable as you are. and i loved that with rikko. we sleep together, we wake up in between sleep just to look for each other's cheeks, we shower together, we do weird shower dances, we have secret baby things, and a lot more things that you would think from here on meant forever. because these things, how could you ever try them again with someone else? because from where i am right now I HATE THE THOUGHT OF THOSE WITH ANYONE WHO'S NOT RIKKO. but stay with him for what? for what at this point? i'm not God. i'm just an anxious person with daddy issues who has enough money hunger and dreams plus a mom, aunts and 1 friend who loves rikko so much. i can't change him. and i shouldn't.

[shra-vasti]

LEE CHAN

Series : To all the boys

Type : non idol au, ex-couple au

Genre : angst, drama, fluff, romance

Warnings : mention of underage drinking, social anxiety and over thinking.

Word count : 800 approx

Synopsis : You decided to write some letters to every boy who was a part of your past as your last message after getting diagnosed with chronical disease.

MAIN MASTERLIST

[Received, 03.10.2020] | one | previous | next

Past

"How's your relationship going?"

You look up to see Zeny coming towards with, a can of coke in her hands, wiggling her eyebrows at you as you rolled your eyes and sighed.

"It's been boring."

You were currently attending a casual weekend year end party at one of your classmates house.

"Again? How come you get tired of boys so easily?"

You shrugged your shoulder at her question, thinking about any proper answer but you couldn't come up with one.

You didn't feel the spark and excitement you should be feeling while being in a relationship. Sure it was great at start since you were the talk of the school but neither of you had made any progress.

With him being too shy and naive and you wanting a rather fun relationship, you weren't the one to wait up till the relationship gets better and you sure didn't like to be the one making the move.

"You're seriously more reckless than Andie."

You narrowed your eyes at the accusation. Andie was someone who was blunt with her views and if she liked someone she would just go to that person and have a conversation with them.

She had been on multiple dates and relationships and she dumps the guy when she gets bored but at least she's honest about her feelings beforehand that she isn't serious.

What about you? You were her best friend and similar to her in many ways yet more reserved type wherein you would never dare to approach someone first and would never hurt anyone with your bluntness.

"We are best friends for a reason."

You laughed as Zeny made a face.

"As much as I know you, at this point, you'll breakup with him even if he accidentally do something wrong."

"I have a reputation in the school Zeny, I can't put it down because of someone being unable to control their feelings for me and do stupid things. Others will laugh at me if anything like that happens."

A shiver ran down your spine at the thought and you shook your head. You got mixed reactions from everyone about your relationship.

Some said you're too upfront and careless to be with Chan who is shy and reserved and some said that its that difference that is adding dimension to your relationship.

But this is real life and you can only be with someone for so long if you don't have anything in common and the relation just withers.

"Yah, you're here." you heard your named being called for as you turn around, the house was still full of people you knew and everyone's attention was on you.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as you looked at Chan. He smiled at you and made his way towards you, the others cleared his pathway as he tripped few times before finally reaching you.

He got closer to you and you could smell a tinge of alcohol, there was a can in his hands which you assumed was full of alcohol which were smuggled inside this party. He cringed internally, he was still underage to do that.

"Yah, I love you."

He put both of his hands on your shoulders to steady himself as whispers started around you.

"Chan what are you doing?"

He grinned at you, stepping back and spreading both of his hands wide as he yelled.

"What am I doing? I'm fucking loving you."

You looked here and there, Zeny stepped forward grabbing your shoulder and pulling you towards exit.

By this time everyone's attention was on you and Chan and you didn't like it a bit, when people started pointing out at you laughing.

"Oh god he's so embarrassing."

"He would get in trouble if anyone found out about his underage drinking."

"Omg they must be so embarrassed by their boyfriend."

"So embarrassing, aren't they the president of student council? Could have chosen a better partner to date."

You felt a firm grip on your hand making you and Zeny stop in the track.

"Where are you going? Come dance with me."

Chan tried to pull you back into the center of the crowd when another hand firmly held his successfully making you free from Chan's grasp.

"Let her go Chan you've created enough joke out of her."

"Thankyou, Seokmin."

You mumbled, he nodded at you smiling a bit as he caught Chan's arm saving him from falling down. You turned around ready to go when Seokmin called out.

"Take care of yourself."

You felt another presence beside you and you look up to see Wonwoo holding your wrist and dragged you out of the house for real this time with Zeny following close behind.

"Let me hail you a cab."

Wonwoo's voice was firm and you knew he was suppressing his anger, you gently pull your hands away from his and nodded at him.

"Don't do anything to him, he's drunk."

You warned Wonwoo considering how tight his jaw was, he would punch jaw for creating the mess.

He didn't say anything.

The cab stopped in front, you and Zeny got in ready to go when Wonwoo leaned inside from the cab's window.

"Breakup with him and no need of doing that in person I'll tell him by myself that you don't want to see him anymore."

With that he motioned the driver to continue driving. The cab started, Zeny groaned beside you.

"I told you I don't want you to end up with him. This is so not good considering your parents are really respected in our school, honey. God this is fucked up he's going to get in trouble why would he embarrass you like that?"

You kept quite, mind going back to what Wonwoo said. You leaned back on the seat huffing out a frustrated sigh mind once again drifting to the incident in party earlier.

You had a really clean reputation and he just ruined it and the even though it wasn't much of a deal but it was for you, a person with a social anxiety and over thinking.

"Andie is going to kill him if she finds out about this, she can hurt literally anyone who makes you uncomfortable or sad."

"I really hope she doesn't do that but God I don't want any drama in the school on Monday."

"We'll see about that, what are you going to do now?

You looked out of the window leaning your head on it and you thought about it.

"I'll let Wonwoo have his way with this one."

[jaehyunsuh]

trust

—pairing: idol! Taeyong x reader

—genre: au/ fluff/ boyfriend! Taeyong

—words count: + 1k

summary: for a long time you have felt pretty lonely and sad, yes you have friends and stuff but they always are making comments that make you feel upset or uncomfortable and sometimes they don't even seem to care about what you think or say. In university some people are really nice but the majority just use you since you are so kind to everyone, you don't want to change your personality since you know it's better to help people and be nice rather then treat them like sh*t. You just need a friend, someone you can trust and tell your problems to, hopefully you will find it soon. You could talk to your boyfriend Taeyong but he is already so stressed with his idol life, that is enough to him.

today you were able to get out early from your job so you decide to walk home, so like that you can explore the city, look at the the people, breathe fresh air and clear your mind a bit. You usually take a taxi or something because you are tired but it's 4pm and the weather it's nice so it seems like a good day to go for a walk.

lately you have felt pretty lonely, people lately hasn't been the best to you lately, since you are so smart and offer to help people when you say no they start telling you mean stuff and are so stupid, you really don't mind about people's comments or anything but having no one to talk to makes you overthink stuff, by luck you distract yourself cooking, painting and working so like that it doesn't affect your mental health.

Taeyong is the best boyfriend you could ask for but you are used to be the one who gives him advices and makes him feel better since he is constantly under stress, so you decide not to overwhelming with your problems and keep them to yourself.

you walk past a buddhist temple you have seen before but never were curious of walking, you have never been really religious or anything but  today you felt like visiting it, those structures were big, beautiful and amazing, it truly left you impressed. You walk and see some tourists looking outside the place, you are able to see the inside if you are quiet and respectful, so you decide to climb the stairs. You see a boy bowing at the giant Buda figure inside the temple, it was really beautiful and breathtaking, he gets up and walks to the entrance were you are standing. 

"Uhm excuse me." You say reaching to the boy. He looks at you scared and kind flinches. You looked at him confused.

"I'm really curious about this religion and i have never knew anything about it, so would you mind to tell me a little bit about this?." The boy's body relax a little bit looks at you up and down 

"My name is y/n by the way." You extent his hand to him and he shakes it. 

"I'm Daniel." He gives a sweet smile. He tells you to see somewhere around the temple so he can talk better to you.

"Well i don't really consider myself religious but buddhism sees life as a process of constant change, and its practices aim to take advantage of that. It means that one can change for the better."

"Wow, that's really beautiful." You say impressed.

"Yes, it's good! Also they practise meditation, which is a way of developing more positive states of mind that are characterised by calm, concentration, awareness, and emotions. Using the awareness developed in meditation it is possible to have a fuller understanding of oneself, other people, and of life itself." He explains.

"It really sound fascinating, how did you get into it?" You never knew there was a religion that teach such necessary and important things like those.

"Well my parents are buddhists so I've been into it since i was young. Like i said i was never really into it but since I'm 18 I've always need something to keep me mentally stable and help me relax so i started coming here often." He gives a kind smile.

"That's really cool, I'm glad you found something that gives you peace, that's really what i need right now." You sigh.

"Well if you are not into religion you can do yoga, start meditating by yourself or you can talk to me!" He suddenly changes and starts being more open and friendly.

"Thank you, you are so nice. I think ill take all three." You laugh.

you continue to talk about your stuff and you tell him all the things that you have been feeling lately, he gave you some advices here and there about how to distract yourself from those negative thoughts and move on from this toxic people. You feel so thankful that this total stranger it's actually listening to you and being interested in what you have to say. You talked about college, your job, the music you're into and how you how much you love painting and cooking.

"Well, thank you so much for telling me about this, i found it pretty interesting."

you decided to exchange numbers and talk with each other, he said that every time he could go to the buddhist temple he will meet you outside and talk to you and maybe go and eat something. You have been seeing each other for around one month now and it has really helped your mental state, he teach you some breathing excercises that helped your anxiety and tried to meet a couple timed at week to do yoga.

Taeyong's POV

y/n has been kinda weird lately, she doesn't talks or says any important stuff to him anymore, she just talks about college stuff and the netflix show she is watching, also she goes out almost everyday and comes back later at afternoon, so it is making him Taeyong worried if she is seeing someone else. He doesn't want to sound mean or anything but he knows y/n doesn't has friends anymore, just the ones back in her country, but here in Seoul many people has been fake, treat her bad and been fake because she is dating and idol. He tries not to overthink and keep trusting his girlfriend.

"Hey Tae, we need to talk to you." Johnny says.

"Okay?"

"Hyung, y/n has been kinda weird lately she doesn't even wants to talk to us that much." Jaehyun sits down in the couch.

"We all talked and we wanted to tlwt you know that our friends and their friends have seen y/n hanging around with some guy." Taeil says. Taeyong looks shocked and like it's about to cry.

"We didn't believe it until Mark told us what he saw today." Taeil continues.

"What did you saw?" Taeyong takes a deep breath and close his eyes.

"I was walking around the Han River and i saw them sitting around there." Mark says upset. Taeyong close his hands frustrated.

"But look, we aren't saying she is cheating, maybe it's her collage partner or something." Jaehyun says trying to make his friend happy.

"Yes, and when i saw them they weren't holding hands and not even were so close to each other."

"Bro, she loves you and instead of thinking about breaking up ask her if there is something else making her distracted." Yuta pats his friends back. 

Taeyong grabs his jacket and makes his way to y/n's apartment, he calls 3 times and she doesn't picks up which makes him worried since he is thinking about all the things that member said.

Y/n's POV

you are in the living room watching some tv when you hear Taeyong open the door.

"Y/n we need to talk." He looks like he was crying and you wonder what happened to him.

"Yes, what happened babe?." 

"Y/n, you don't love me anymore? Are you cheating on me?" He ask straight up.

"No, Taeyong, what the hell? How could i ever cheat on you. You are the person i love the most." You say slightly frustrated.

"Some people are talking about you hanging out with another guy and even Mark saw you with him the other day, and the fact that you have been so quiet and don't even talk to me that much anymore, so i think I'm convinced it may be truth." He sits down and takes a deep breath trying not to look at you. Your heart breaks at seeing him like this, you know the truth and if you tell him he is gonna still feel upset.

"Taeyong listen to me, this guy is a buddhist, a met him the other day when i walked around the temple, he explained me that it helps you relax and control your emotions, i told him that i was going through a tought time and he decide to help me. He teach me how to meditate, breathing exercises and we do yoga almost every afternoon. It has helped me a lot with my stress. And that's it, he is just a friend, there is not any other relationship between us and if you want to talk to him or something I'm sire you would be more convinced." You say while holding his hands.

"And why didn't you told me about this?" He looks at you sad.

"I love you more than anything else in the world, you known i can help you and that you can talk to me about anything." He looks at you.

"Tae i know, but I'm always the strong one that is comforting you, making you feel okay and helping you. I know you have been through a lot lately and i didn't wanted to bother you with my problems while you have your owns. I'm sorry." You look at the the floor disappointed at yourself.

he grabs your lower back and pulls you into a kiss. You feel safe and peaceful again in between his arms and lips. He kisses you softly making your feel better than before and taking all your worries away. 

"You can always trust me, okay?" Taeyong kisses your forehead.

"From now on, let's promise to trust each other anytime, and talk about every single thing that is bothering us. We are stronger together."

"I love you." You hug him.

"I love you too." He leaves another kiss on your forehead.

[110109k]

Hi! So here's my contribution to the Haikyuu! Fandom lol. I'm kind of in a good mood today so I wrote a fluff oneshot for one of the adorable ships, TsukkiYama. I apologize in advanced for mistakes and such. Please, enjoy!

:] xoxo, kai.

- please don't repost w/o permission :]

- images used aren't mine. credits to the real owner :))

__

Words I Wanna Hear

[sad!yamaguchi x soft!tsukishima]

by: 110109k

Yamaguchi loves the rain; he always does but today is an exception. Somehow, the once soothing downpour makes him feel gloomier than he already is. Almost every raindrop that softly taps on his and Tsukishima’s shared apartment’s window makes him sigh- he is just not having the best day after what happened at school. Tsukishima makes it clear for so many times that Yamaguchi can tell him whatever it may be that is bugging him because the middle blocker knows that his partner isn’t the type to spill his problems right away. The freckled pinch server tends to conceal all his problems from others as much as possible and brushes them off with a rather convincing fake smile but of course, Tsukishima knew better. They’ve been together for such a long time so it’s natural for them to see through each other and not to mention, they’ve already been lovers since the start of their second year in high school. About the moving in part, that’s for another story… Tsukishima can read his partner like an open book- Yamaguchi’s aware of that since Tsukki’s not some kind of idiot (well, he is sometimes but you get my point) and that’s what he is worrying about. He knows that Tsukishima will find out what he’s upset about and unfortunately, he is not yet ready to discuss about it.

His anxiety level rises even more when the bathroom door clicks and the bespectacled middle blocker steps out, drying his blond locks with a towel. Yamaguchi discreetly takes a deep sigh, smiles at his lover, and awkwardly grabs a random workbook from a shelf. Then, he plops on the bed avoiding the megane’s gaze. The blond just quietly observes him.

“So, you rushed home without me and not to mention on a rainy day like this” Tsukishima initiates a conversation which made Yamaguchi flinch. The latter smiles apologetically and scratches his nape “Sorry, Tsukki… I actually dropped by at Shimada-san’s to, um, ask about some things and I forgot to tell you. Sorry.” Tsukishima lightly sighs and plops beside Yamaguchi. The freckled boy is even tenser now.

“I thought you’d like those things couple do in romantic movies, you know, the share an umbrella thing but I got soaked in the rain instead” Tsukishima said. Yamaguchi’s face flushes and he immediately apologizes to the pouty blond. “S-sorry, Tsukki! I was just-”

“It’s fine” Tsukki cuts him off making him guilty. Gosh, what should he do in a situation like this? There was a long silence between them. Tsukki is busy fiddling with phone, probably reading an article about dinosaurs or something. Suddenly, the blond says, “Actually, there are some chocolates in my bag. If you want some, go ahead and eat it. I don’t want them” the green haired boy answers with a hum. Of course, it’s from his lover’s fan girls. He’s just that famous ever since they were in first year so it’s understandable but the thought of his fan girls makes Yamaguchi recall earlier events.

“-dashi, are you okay?” Shoot. He snaps back to reality and finds his partner’s face in a close proximity from his. “Eh? Huh- oh, right. I- I will. Thanks, Tsukki!” his voice cracks midway and the blond raises an eyebrow. Oh no. Yamaguchi silently beats up himself in his head. That’s way too awkward, embarrassing, and obvious. Tsukishima probably knows what’s up already.

“What’s the matter with you? You’ve been spacing out a lot” Oh, he’s concerned. Tsukishima is still on top of him, staring at him with those honey-like eyes. He blushes and waves his hands in a dismissive manner. “I-I’m totally fine! There’s nothing to worry about-”

“You really think you can hide things from me, huh?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what I mean. Do you think I don’t know what happened?”

A pang of guilt and sadness hit Yamaguchi. He heavily sighs as the rain pours even harder. All his efforts of not making his lover worried are gone to waste. Yamaguchi averts his gaze from the blond and bit his lip in an attempt to hold back the tears that have been welling up on the corner of his eyes.

“I’m sorry…”

“I’m starting to think you’re Canadian, Tadashi.” Tsukishima lightly jokes but there’re still hints of seriousness in his voice but his attempt at making the freckled beauty seems to be of no use. Yamaguchi is still averting his gaze and isn’t making any sounds. “Didn’t I tell you to talk to me if anything happens?” Tsukishima asks. Yamaguchi nods.

“I… I know but I-I’m just hesitant to tell you b-because you might find it stupid or anything and-” his voice wavers and the tears starts to fall. A muffled thunder went along with it. Ah, Tsukishima can’t handle it anymore. He wraps his arms around his lover tightly to comfort him. He feels kind of ‘out of character’ but he can’t bear to see his precious Yamaguchi in tears. The latter responds with a tight embrace as well, nuzzling into Tsukishima’s chest. His partner’s scent of fresh citrus, woods, moss and musk helps him calm down a bit. Tsukishima strokes his lover’s soft green locks, placing light kisses on the side of his right eye, on the tip of his ear, cheek and on the corner of his lips. Yamaguchi’s heart fluttered as he gets overwhelmed with so many emotions that he couldn’t help but to weep even more, a part of it because of what happened, the other is because of the affection he’s being given right now. He snuggles into Tsukishima even more. He feels so warm and safe.

“I heard from the King. He said he saw you being bugged again by those girls again. They just don’t know when to shut up, geez.”

“Kageyama told you?” Yamaguchi raises his head and locks eyes with Tsukishima. His teary eyes and rosy cheeks and nose make the blond a bit shy. He’s too adorable even when he’s crying. Tsukishima stammers and responds with a hum instead. “Yeah… He said he just happens to pass by that hallway when he heard some girls saying stupid things to hurt you and that he could’ve stepped in and stopped them but you apologized and ran away instead.”

Different shades of red spread across Yamaguchi’s face. “Oh… that’s too embarrassing” he squeaked.

“He even nagged at me for ‘not taking good care of you’. He’s got some nerves.” Tsukishima scoffs earning a small giggle from Yamaguchi. Wow, Kageyama-kun is lowkey caring.

“I’m sorry, Tsukki. I just found it difficult to talk about that. I don’t want to waste your time listening to my rambles because you might find it stupid. Also, I don’t want you to worry about me. I know those girls can be mean to me but I wanted to deal with it myself but it turns out, I can’t. I’m sorry. From now on, I’ll be honest with you. This won’t happen again.” Yamaguchi mumbles, enough for the other to hear. Upon hearing his apology, Tsukki’s grip on his lover tightens. Yamaguchi softly gasps. Tsukishima buries his head on the crook of Yamaguchi’s neck, his golden locks tickling the latter’s cheeks.

“I’m sorry too...” he whispers. Yamaguchi smiles and strokes Tsukki’s soft hair. “… I didn’t protect you well from those brats. I didn’t know they were doing this to you” he mumbles angrily. “It’s because you aren’t saying anything, either…” The blond clicks his tongue. Yamaguchi lightly chuckles. Just then, their neighbour seems to be playing some music. It was loud enough for them to hear over the sound of the downpour. It sounds muffled but it was definitely Paul Anka’s ‘Put Your Head On My Shoulder’. The two listens to the music for a while, cuddling comfortably on their bed. The silence between them isn’t awkward but comforting. The two of them are wrapped in each other’s arms with the feeling of warmth and safety. Neither of the two lovers talked. Instead, they just listened.

An idea crosses Tsukishima’s mind and he carefully untangles himself from Yamaguchi. He stands at the end of their bed, offering his slender hands to Yamaguchi. The freckled boy looks up at him with a curious look. The blond motioned him to take his hand. Yamaguchi takes his hand and the middle blocker helps him out of the bed. Suddenly, Tsukishima pulls him in an embrace, placing both of his hands on Yamaguchi’s hips.

“T-tsukki?”

“Shut up and wrap your arms around me.”

“Oh… okay?” Yamaguchi snakes his arms around the tall blond’s neck and plays with his hair.

“Now, sway.”

And just like that, they start to move along with the music playing on the other room. The rain isn’t stopping anytime soon but now it isn’t making Yamaguchi feel down in the dumps. The gentle patter of the rain hitting the window pane makes him calm. The music makes him feel in love and the warmth Tsukishima is giving off reminds him of his home far away. Being in Tsukishima’s arms makes him feel safe.

“I love you no matter what happens, Tadashi…”

Ah, those words sure do make his day.

[missouris-googlehistory]

A change of hearts | chapter VIII

A/N: I am so sorry I haven't updated this story in so long, I've been dealing with school and depression honestly. Sorry if everything isn't super politically correct I am not European so I am a bit stupid on their political happenings. This isn't meant to be offensive to anyone.

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For a long time things had been going well between Ludwig and Francis. Their relationship blossomed and Germany eventually proposed, with France happily accepting the offer. However they knew there were challenges ahead. The first obstacle was their fellow nations.   

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! FRANCE HOW COULD YOU!?" Was the first response exclaimed after Germany formally made the announcement at a world meeting. The other nations were equally as confused and disgruntled with the match. England marched right up to the German, "YOU BRAINWASHED HIM OR SOMETHING DIDN'T YOU!?". Ludwig, offended by such a notion retorted. 

"Of course not." In a polite yet stern tone, 

"Angleterre that's rude of you to suggest! Even for a connard like you!" Francis stood up to defend his partner. 

"OH I'M BEING RUDE FOR TERRORIZING YOU!? THE MAN THAT HELD YOU PRISONER? THE ONE WHO DESTROYED NOT ONLY YOUR COUNTRY BUT COUNTLESS OTHERS!?" Germany immediately left the room, sensing that he wasn't wanted. A fist fight broke out as perusal between the two nations while the others pondered and discussed the proposal. 

Italy and Japan had followed Germany to make sure he was ok, the waves of guilt hit him all over again. "Maybe Britain's right, maybe France just pities me...maybe I never deserve a second chance or love at all..." He put his head in his hand. 

Italy rubbed his back, "That's not true at all! Everyone deserves love and kindness! Japan and I love you!" Japan nodded in agreement. Prussia who was peering a nearby window saw Germany's sad face. 

He banged on the glass. "Who made you cry like a little baby!? That's totally unawesome!" 

"Just go away Prussia, I want to be left alone." As he muttered the phrase America popped out of the doorway. 

"Yo Germany dude we need a little help in here!" 

"Huh?" The Axis trio went back inside to see France and England on the floor while America tried to separate them. 

"FRANCE DUDE LET GO YOU'LL KILL THE OLD MAN!" 

"YOU DID IT! YOU KILLED HER! I COULD FORGIVE GERMANY A THOUSAND TIMES OVER BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU DID YOU BASTARD!" England was turning blue in the face, 

"That was six hundred years ago you crazy frog!" 

"Frankreich! Ludwig wrapped his arms around the Frenchman's waste and pried him off. Arthur finally stood up and recovered, the others starring at the scene. Ludwig was holding Francis and whispering "it's ok" to help calm him. 

"Let's go back to the hotel so we can all calm down." The German suggested. 

"Why?" England snapped back, "You two can leave the rest of us will continue the meeting."

Ludwig was not one for bragging but Arthur was getting on his nerves, he growled and snapped back, "How are you going to hold a meeting without the two most powerful European nations? You can't talk about the European Union issues anymore since you backed out like eine Muschi!" The room fell silent, Ludwig was not to curse in a formal setting. Arthur stepped back a bit. 

"Well at least let us discuss this 'engagement' of yours." 

"There's nothing to discuss!" 

"We're nations we can't just marry whoever we please!" 

"Oh for Gott's sake do you watch T.V? Or do you not own one because you're so old. I've never seen two world leaders have more sexual tension unless you count Churchill and Roosevelt." 

To which Arthur and Alfred yelled. "HEY!" 

Francis sniffled and looked up at Ludwig. "Allemange it's fine don't worry. Can we just go back? The two of us?" 

Ludwig sighed in defeat, "Fine." The two men gathered their things and left the world to decide their fate.



Back at the hotel they tried to relax, Ludwig poured himself a drink. "Why do you always attack England?"

Francis chuckled and laid on the bed. "Because Mon cher, he is a dick."

"And I'm not?"

"Oui but a cute one."

"Ja but why am I more deserving of forgiveness than him?"

"He killed the love of my life. My very soul was crushed. Not to mention all the other dickish things he did. I know he gave me the plague."

"The plague spread everywhere Liebling."

"Oui but he started it."

"Whatever you say." Ludwig took another swig of his drink



Back at the world meeting it seemed more like a riot than anything else.

"I don't see the big deal dudes, being gay is gay. Who cares? I don't."

"It's not a matter of gay or not, at least not in most countries; it's a matter of alliances." England tried to school the American in politics.

"Oh yea cuz you and France are best friends. Who would marry Germany for the sake of an alliance anyway?" Again the room fell silent. Italy almost raised his hand however his brother smacked it down.

"I don't think it's really fair to pick on the guy eh?" Spain retorted. "Germany mentioned it himself, their bosses get along really well. They old the European Union together Si?" On this most everyone could agree. "Heck I was married to Austria for awhile, it wasn't that bad!" To this the Austrian flushed in embarrassment; Hungary twitched ever so slightly. However the room filled with laughter.

"He is still a person and should be treated as such." Belgium spoke up, which was a surprise to many of the nations. "The world needed justice for what he had done and it was served. Most of our people have moved on and don't even remember the war. His punishment was paid. Even if we don't like to think about it he suffers too."

"Belgium...can you really forgive him?" England asked with concern and shock. Poland was still very angry and made it very clear to the rest of the world. Many other countries had done the same. Yet Belgium and France were different.

"At first I really didn't want to. During one of my visits to France's house we shared what had happened to each other...He told me about how he forgave Germany because you should not live with that kind of hatred towards another human in your heart." 

"Well France is Catholic, you don't have to share his beliefs Belgium, you're lucky he didn't get you pregnant. You have every right not to forgive him, just like Poland." England tried to rationalize her anger, Poland agreed with him as well as a few other nations.  

"Joat but living the rest of my life being angry at my neighbor who I have to see a lot isn't helpful to anyone. Especially me, we aren't humans. We make sacrifices. You and France don't get along well but you still work with each other. Germany still works with Russia after all he's done." Suddenly the energy in the room shifted; It became dark and ominous as everyone turned to the innocent looking nation. "And America."  She quickly added and began to retell the story of the Berlin wall and all that Germany and his people had suffered. "We need to lay this to rest; Maybe their marriage is the best answer. Maybe we can all find some kind of happiness in this. We shouldn't deny him happiness when he's grown so much as a person." 

"Ja, I agree for once." The focus shifted to Austria. "He isn't the only one to blame, and it isn't like we haven't done bad things to each other before. The Napoleon wars were a mess. England killed Joan of arc, and conquered a lot more of the world than he ever did. Belgium had issues with the Congo, Hungary and I had issues with the Serbians," Though he would never publicly admit he was the cause of the first world war. 

"Will their marriage be like most peoples or is it like ours?" Lithuania piped up. "Because they're two guys and we've had arranged negations with two guys before but this isn't for legal reasons, so like...what about the countries who still...don't recognize that stuff?" The focus was again negatively drawn back to Russia and many of the eastern European countries, the Asian nations watched in silence.  

"WELL THEN FUCK THEM DUDE AM I RIGHT!?"  America very loudly interjected the awkward silence. "We basically said their bosses want some kind of weird alliance thingy so whatever! I say we let them be happy! If Francy-pants likes sausage dude why do we have to tell him what's wrong or right?  Like Emma said we're not mortal and unfortunately we all gotta get along whether we like it or not. Yea to us it might feel like it was just yesterday but to the rest of the world it's history, and our pain eventually goes away. I'm not mad at Britain dude for being a giant douche. I got a cool holiday to celebrate! I get to piss him off!" 

"WHY YOU-" England was cut off by laughter. No one really dare to go up against the loud mouthed American, at this point not even Russia cared anymore about the German-Franco union. The meeting was quickly adjourned afterwards and everyone went back to the hotel. 

Luckily the two were met with love and support, everyone decided to go out and party a little since Germany did announce they were now formally engaged. It was cause for celebration, to forgiveness, happiness and a new beginning for everyone. 

Translations: 

1. Frankreich: France - German 

2. Eine Muschi: A female body part - German 

3. Allemagne: Germany - French

4. Mon Cher: My love - French

5. Leibling: Love - German 

5. Joat: Yes - Western Flemish