#argumentative antithetical dream girl

[hrhmancns]

paris - november 2020 the end of hanon @johannesgrunenberg 

He looked so peaceful sleeping like this. Manon watched the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest with every breath. She felt a sudden urge to touch him, to trail her fingers lightly along the muscles of his chest, following the lines her nails had etched earlier, pressing down with her nails until he awoke and pulled her tight against him once more. Instead her hands curled into tight fists, the bite of nails against her own palms pulling her from any sort of leftover reverie.

The very simple fact remained- Manon could not marry Hans.

She’d said yes when he asked.

He’d dragged her to that park, their park, where they’d first walked and talked in the late January cold. Where late that summer over champagne and strawberries he’d asked if they were serious and she’d laughed and hidden her smile in his lap. But then after an incredibly rare third glass she pressed the key into his hands, the key to her house she’d had made weeks before, and flushed an uncharacteristic scarlet as she asked him to stay.

“For how long?”

He pressed, half smile across those lips she’d call home. Forever, she thought, hopeless, foolish, and all those other words they ascribe to lost causes.

“As long as we are both in Paris.” She’d thought that was enough.

The late November chill held promise, anticipation, so unlike the steady dread that came with a January freeze. She should have known better, should have read the signs, should have told him time and time again why it would never work. But she’d been swept up in the hope of it all, his eagerness and perhaps his foolish dream that they might somehow stay the same, stay this happy, with the rest of the world looking in.

Hans had always been a romantic.

His brother was getting married. The brother who’d banished him years ago for the simple fact of being second born and a threat. And so perhaps he meant to show up to the wedding with his own future bride in tow, another girl from the Isles leaden with Swiss jewels. That thought alone made her panic, reaching for the ring that weighed so heavy on her hand. Manon knew what it was to want to do just what a sibling did, and how it very actually worked out. She’d have thought Hans would know this by now.

But then, Manon hoped he’d given up on them by now.

Because there was a difference between choosing to leave and being told to leave, if they’d ended up in the same place. She had agency in hers, even if she was a child. He did not, and she knew he hated that. Still - they’d carved out a life here in this pocket of the world. She had her freedom, he had his students, and they had that imposing old house with all its drafts and ghosts. Most importantly - this space belonged to them alone.

He was romantic and he was idealistic. Perhaps he thought that marriage would just give a name to that which they were already living. A mere formality, a celebration full of only good wishes and love. She would wear his ring and meet his family and swear before a god she didn’t quite believe in plus all of the world to be his and his alone, and then they could come back to their house and their lives and everything would be fine.

It was a rare situation where Manon was the realistic one.

Because once they let the world in, it would all be ruined. They could not be Manon and Hans, Hans and Manon. No - there were titles and lands and lines of succession and politics to consider. She may be the youngest and most forgotten child of Wales, but he was the second son of a dead king, his brother not fully stable in his position as heir with no heir of his own. The world and powers that be would never let them return to this quiet street and their beloved haunted house. Not with the stakes this high, not with the world this uncertain.

It killed her that he did not recognize this.

The moonlight streamed in through her curtains, bathing him in an otherworldly beauty and a melancholy that she could not name. The space between them in the bed opened up like a chasm and Manon knew he was beyond her reach.

She’d said yes. And yet - 

You can’t unring a bell.

Silently, she got out of bed and took off the ring. He did not stir. She’d had a bag packed at the bottom of her closet as long as she’d lived here, and it was only a few moments to add those possessions she’d grown deeply attached to. Another few moments and texts had her on a flight to New York in an hour. It was almost too easy.

The car was out front, and yet she lingered at the bedside, silently granting him these last few hours of peace. Manon had only ever been good at breaking things, so she’d taken the love he offered and pried open his rib cage to demand more, demand it all. But when he’d handed her his heart and all he was, she’d dropped it like glass just to see how it shattered. Manon felt an echo of guilt, the sharp ache of something cut through that traitorous organ demanding space in her chest. So she broke something else, carving out her own heart rather than admitting she loved him more than she’d ever loved anything before. Carving out her own heart and breaking it apart rather than giving anyone else the power to do so.

Manon took his ring and left a note alongside her heart.

I might have loved you forever just like this. But I cannot deny who I am. And I am not the girl you marry. Think of me when you think of Paris.

[ohgaylor]

Taylor really went there this time

[opalsiren]

now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings

taylor swift, ‘hits different’ / h2o: just add water (2006-2010), 3x01 ‘the awakening’

[lovingherwasgay]

Yes she’s with a MAN, for PR. Have you never heard of PR? “Everyone thinks loves for show, I would die fie you in secret.” TS and TK are making so much money off of this “relationship” and gathering fans from both sides. You gotta read the room.

It's taylor fucking swift dude, any relationship she ever gets in will get a lot of publicity, but with an NFL STAR? of course everyone's talking about it! it does not mean it's fake. or that she should only date supermarket cashiers so no one assumes she's looking for pr for dating a famous dude. it can both be genuine and get them publicity as a byproduct.

"all these people think love's for show, but I would die for you in secret". Ah yes, because that song and that relationship aged so well 💀

How about, "I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you"? "You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath"? "And I know, you wouldn't have told nobody if I died for you"?

All lyrics written before getting together with Joe, so you have an idea of how she's always thought that way about love. The secrecy was useful in the beginning because her reputation put too much scrutiny into her relationship and she needed to protect it by hiding. But then it comes back in Bejeweled how the secrecy was hurting her in the long run:

"Don't put me in the basement, when I want the penthouse of your heart." "Best believe I'm still bejeweled, when I walk in the room, I can still make the whole place shimmer"

And You're Losing Me:

"Frontlines, don't you ignore me / I'm the best thing in this party" "How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying?" "Lose something babe, risk something"

And some other warning lyrics:

"You don't ever say too much, and you don't really read into my melancholia": Lavender Haze attempts to be a love song, but post break up it just feels like her convincing herself the relationship is okay, that she's just being overdramatic and he's right to ignore her, and avoiding her own wishes just to stay in the lavender haze with him (acting like she doesn't want marriage when she does)

"Romance is not dead, if you keep it just yours": that's the only way the relationship could stay alive despite not being what she truly wanted anymore, so she kept going along with it

"All that you ever wanted from me was... Nothing.": Just something about the way she sings that one line makes it sound like 'yes, you want nothing from me. but also, you want nothing from me'. it's a predecesor to "Do something babe, say something / Lose something babe, risk something / I've got nothing to believe, unless you're choosing me"

All in all, she realized she didn't want to be in a relationship where her man was scared of even mentioning her in an interview or being seen with her in public for two seconds. With Travis, their relationship is PRIVATE, but not SECRET, (in a way reminiscent of zendaya and tom holland). everyone knows they're together, they won't hide their relationship, they're proud of it and each other, but you also know nothing specific about it because it's private. We didn't even know they'd been dating for months before she first saw him play, until she herself told us.

so stop clinging to one specific line to justify your whole belief that any public relationship she reveals is PR, and accept the possibility that you don't know shit about her and her personal relationship

[myohmine]

I will defend Taylor Swift like I would defend my big sister because she’s been protecting my emotional wellbeing in the way no one else could. Her music kept me fighting another day, got me through the night I thought that I might die.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

I just read the NYT piece in full (because I couldn’t finish it the other day) and holy shit it’s even more infuriating and deliberately obtuse than I’d read

What in the conspiracy theory fuckshit did I just read

[citizendetective]

going completely feral over Hits Different 

[liketaylorswift]

realizing taylor and i are more alike than i thought

[hrhmancns]

&&. announcing her royal highness, ( manon margaret alys powys ), the ( 26 ) year old ( princess ) of ( wales ). she is often confused with ( victoria pedretti ). some say that she is ( apathetic and cruel ), but she is actually ( resilient and tenacious )

[ i am physically incapable of writing a short bio so apologies for that !! but here is manon, she’s a menace to society who absolutely does not want to be here and is about to make it everyone’s problem ! tw for implied violence, drug use, OD below the cut ] 

There is nothing particularly remarkable about her past, nothing deeply traumatic or otherwise impactful that might explain why Manon Margaret Alys Powys is the way that she is. She knows this because she’s had to sit through many therapists and psychiatrists attempting to divine some sort of revelation, all asking the very same questions and expecting a different outcome. Of course, there is the obvious explanation - privilege and wealth and status all gifted by the circumstances of her birth as the youngest Princess of Wales. But that answer never quite satisfies, not when her two elder siblings turned out mostly fine. No, there was always something a bit off about her.

Manon didn’t particularly care.

As a child, Manon had taken to manipulation the way other children took to reading or maths. Does not play well with others - was how a few primary school teachers phrased it. Later braver souls would use words like ‘complete disregard for peers’, ‘inclination towards cruelty’, and likely far worse out of earshot. In another child, this would be cause for great concern. Perhaps it was her position and title, or maybe her parents were so attached to their ignorance. Their littlest princess with those sapphire eyes and darling face, an almost uncanny ability to produce both tears and smiles on a whim served her far longer than expected, even as they managed to uncover the rest of her manipulations.

But really, Manon was bored. Achingly, mind-numbingly, maddeningly bored. The kind of boredom that crawls inside your skin and then screams out for release, every lingering moment of banality a thudding ache inside her skull. And so she became driven by this search for stimulation, for a thrill, for whatever might catch her fleeting attention and hold on for longer than a passing obsession. Because without somewhere to focus that energy, the princess had a tendency towards destruction. A broken vase or glass, something pushed over for the sheer satisfaction of a crash and the accompanying outcry. She’d always had a talent for breaking things, something that became more refined as she grew older.

Boredom and destruction manifested in apathy, her erratic restlessness seemingly stifled by that castle in Wales. And why wouldn’t it be? She wasn’t, as she might argue, particularly necessary. They already had Arwyn and Gwen, an heir and a spare, each of her siblings the clear favorite of one of their parents. Her father was by all measures devoted to his family, stern but never cruel in a way Manon couldn't quite figure out. Mother proved even more confusing, more like a character in some fairytale - beautiful and regal - than someone real who might understand her. This is not at all to say that her parents did not care for her, in fact they cared very deeply. But Manon, in that particular way of hers, understood that no amount of manipulation would allow her to ever surpass her siblings, so it was a waste to try. Because for all her childhood cruelty and manipulation, Manon had tried to care. She’d spent years trailing after Gwen and Arwyn attempting to be whatever it was that they might want from a little sister, although it never quite snagged her fickle attention for long.

Her grandmother always proved an exception to this, perhaps they were similar, or maybe Manon just adored being someone’s favorite, but her grandmother has always been the one who knew her the best, even after she left. Which she decided at a young age would be the best thing for her. Like many girls of her wealth and status, Manon had been stuck in ballet since a young age. She even managed to have a significant natural talent for it, and even more shockingly, did not tire of it after a few months. Most importantly, it was a way out.

Manon, through sheer obsessive will and her natural talent (not to mention the added benefit of her title and wealth), managed to secure a position in the Paris Opera Ballet School at age 12. With her grandmother’s help she convinced  her parents to let her go, and the world opened up before her. She was good enough to keep her position in the school, but not the very best or even one of them - a fact which grated on her with each passing year. Still, she was alone, given the space away from her family to exist as the only one who mattered in her own life, and that was crucial.

Despite this space and freedom, Manon was still herself - obsessive and self centered, and that cruel streak she could ignore for only so long. So there were…incidents. Nothing that could ever be tied to her, of course, but she had been passing by when the best dancer in her level so tragically tripped down the stairs, breaking her foot. Manon’s convincing tears over finding her hurt and the subsequent weeks of playing devoted and generous friend kept any serious suspicion away. But then wasn’t it so strange that the only girl who got food poisoning that day was doing the solo Manon had been passed over for, relegated to understudy? Her position and perhaps reputation kept any allegations at bay, but they never quite trusted her after this. By the time she’d reached the highest level in the school, her obsession had utterly faded and she turned down the oh so coveted offer to join the company as a dancer on trial.

She spent the next few years soaking up as much of the relative freedom Paris offered as she could, giving in to any passing whim that might turn obsession, flitting through various ballrooms and seedy bars. The school had served to refine her cruelty, helped to hone that restless and often fickle apathy into an obsession with control all whilst providing the discipline she’d lacked in Wales. It was a heady combination, particularly when one had charm and beauty and wealth to open doors. But without an outlet, Manon fell back into the habit of breaking things simply because she could. Not vases and trinkets this time, but whatever sort of challenge she could sink her teeth into - be it a heart or something more.

It was almost a cliche. A wayward prince on his self induced exile - running from his past, or his family, or his responsibilities. She caught his eye across some smoky salon and something about him snagged her still fleeting attention. Maybe it was the way he looked at her, or how he seemed to slip in and out of melancholy the way others did the latest fashions, something about the way he felt things so deeply that she wanted to figure out. He’d sought out a glittering distraction, an escape from whatever it was that haunted him. Manon was fine with that. She was good at that, playing the unattainable dream girl. It would last a season, before she got bored or duty dragged him home. But it didn’t. His arrogance a match for her spite, he did not flinch at the touch of cruelty she let shine through the pretty veneer. Here’s where they both made a mistake - Manon got attached. Hans assumed she would change.

Because for a fleeting moment, there was a chance. She became accustomed to his presence at her side, depended on it. His absurd habit of rising with the sun, coaxing her out of bed far sooner than she’d like to be dragged to some cafe he’d found. Maybe that was the best thing - here, in this pocket of the world, they were simply Hans and Manon. His tendency to haunt bookstores and cafes, not a wayward prince but a brooding academic. And she’d lived in this house and this neighborhood for nearly a decade now, her cruelty never extending to those shopkeepers and neighbors who always found her charming - only he bothered to call her princess anymore. Her obsessive, selfish nature focused on him, but not as something to break, no - as someone worthy of her devotion.

The illusion shattered and this time it was not entirely her fault. He wanted to let the rest of the world in, his romantic notions about marriage threatening this thing that was just theirs, the thing she would call love. Manon knew that it would not survive under scrutiny, not with the expectations and influence inherent to their names and positions. She’d thought they were happy, away from the prying eyes of family and the responsibilities of title. But he slipped the heirloom ring on her finger like a shackle, and spoke of showing her off at the wedding of the very brother who’d exiled him. She took his ring when she left that night, the weight settling on a chain around her neck. It wasn’t until her flight landed in New York that Manon realized he was still in possession of the heart she’d never before considered.  

She’d always been so good at breaking things. It was only a matter of time before she broke his heart, but she’d never considered the possibility that a part of her might break as well.

New York proved even better than Paris, or maybe she’d just lost the bit of her that still held affection for these things. Her title garnered even less reverence here, a bit of novelty those around her found deeply amusing, just as they did her cruelty and fluid recklessness. Manon gave into the apathy, that search for a thrill that might ensnare her flighty attention into a worthwhile obsession. Drugs had always been a facet of her world, something she indulged in occasionally  as her obsessive need for control never let her have more than two drinks. She was sometimes reckless, but very often lucky. Bad things did not happen to people like her, no, they happened to others and often at her bidding. And when she left the part of her that might care on his bedside, all that remained was the glittering, gossamer delusion where youth, beauty, wealth, and influence meant invincibility, or even near divinity with the accompanying immortality.

Until Manon was alone and shivering in an NYPD precinct, having found her current fling on the bathroom floor far too late and unable to recall where the lovely model had gotten the drugs. She had enough sense to demand they contact the embassy, and was on a private flight home within six hours. Another part of her broken and left behind in New York, this illusion of safety, or perhaps she would just become even more apathetic and cruel. It didn’t matter, really, not when she’d fucked up any chance of freedom. A month or two  in Wales, to be sure that she was fine (read: not addicted to anything), and then they would figure out what to do with their wayward princess.

Manon had been away so long she felt like a stranger, holidays and various trips fading from memory as the staff and her parents figured out how to coexist with whatever she’d become. She didn’t know, or rather didn’t care to define it. A warning, a wraith, some feral creature pacing the length of a gilded cage with unnerving grace and rage. Manon wasn’t sure if they even noticed, or cared, beyond her grandmother - to whom she offered enough of the truth, as she always had.

Manon at last spoke the truth about how she’d come alive in Paris, how she might have loved, might have let herself need another person for once and then broken it simply because she’d gotten too attached, and would rather carve out her own heart than allow anyone else the power to hurt her. How she might be  lost, chasing something she wasn’t sure existed, and how it only ever felt like anyone really cared about her when she was a threat. The Queen Mother stroked her youngest granddaughter’s hair as she quietly confessed, unable to summon tears without a real purpose. They sat in comfortable silence for a long while, the elder woman knowing there was nothing she could say that would change anything, and that her grandchild had merely needed someone to listen, without prejudice, as she always had to her favorite Manon.

The Queen Mother decided to convince her son to send his youngest to Spain, to be with her sister. There she might have a bit more freedom than in Wales, feel a bit less lost. The matriarch of the Powys line had always seen so much of herself in her granddaughters, perhaps they would finally find it in each other.

[thesamecoiin]

tag drop ;; sorcha

[zoeylcwrence]

tag drop!

[thegayloragenda]

I am ON ONE today. Leave us alone. The majority of Gaylors are just autistic sleuths who care about pattern recognition, queer history, and literary analysis. And then, for fun, we pick a muse to help connect the dots. Quit acting like we’re the intrusive ones. If I see gay, I say gay. Sorry bout it. If she doesn’t like the girl kissing rumors, she shouldn’t written the line “bet I could still melt your world argumentative, antithetical dream girl” AND NO SHE’S NOT TALKING ABOUT HERSELF BECAUSE 1) Grammar and 2) you can’t be a pathological people pleaser AND an argumentative antithetical dream girl.

Get absolutely fucked, Hetlors. All we want to do is listen to her music in a scholarly way. Go on your media narrative wild goose chase up Kelce’s ass and leave us alone.

[theafterglow83]

RECLAIMING THE MUSE

To anyone who thinks that Karlie Kloss was PR to cover for Diana (or Lily- who like Dianna -has been out of the picture for years.)

What ? Are there 7 photos combined of both of them (and 2 of them aren’t even Lily)

please seek help.

Karlie Kloss has had gay/ bi rumors circulating about her since …forever.

It was kind of known /unspoken knowledge among her inner circle and folks in the industry.

She’s been connected to Toni Garrn, Jourdan Dunn, Leigh Lezark among others before she was involved with Taylor.

Karlie Kloss and her androgynous self is definitely a woman’s woman if you know what I mean.

She’s never really dated men

Her best friend Derek is gay.

Derek introduced her to Josh

Josh was rumored to be involved with Mikey Hess…it goes on and on

Let me remind you of one of Karlie’s hilarious early slips of the tongue and gay panic that followed…

…”my exxxxxxx, well SHES a top manicurist now”

Now please tell me why Taylor Swift and her PR machine would get a rumored gay woman ( kk) to cover for the fact that Taylor was gay or involved with another woman.

Hiding a secret gay relationship with another secret gay relationship?

ARE YOU FOR REAL?

It makes absolutely zero sense not to mention how in most of Taylor’s discography the songs are clearly about Karlie.

If that was PR they need about 7 Oscars awarded to them.

AND…

New York City wasn’t screaming Diana’s or Lily’s name nor are they “tall and handsome as hell” or” fit like a daydream.” Or the West Village” “Argumentative, antithetical dream girl” “ the one I was dancing with in NY” Gold Rush” etc …

Karlie Elizabeth (Betty) Kloss

Who else besides Karlie Kloss had a garden gate ????

I could go on but you get the point

Seriously whoever “thunk” this one up needs a day or two off.

STOP TRYING TO REWRITE HISTORY BECAUSE YOU DONT LIKE KARLIE.

ITS ALWAYS ANYONE BUT KK WITH THESE PEOPLE WHO HAVE LITERALLY ACCUSED HER OF MADE UP WAR CRIMES WITH ABSOLUTELY ZERO EVIDENCE.

My money is on “Karlie Kloss is a better human than most …” Taylor actually told us…”Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief in the good in the world”

And for the record I’m not saying Diana ever happened. Of course it did but it was over before the 1989 era began.

You can not make up lore or change the timeline. Stop creating a false reality. That’s called delusion.

Karlie Kloss. Say her name

[old-acc-gaylorscatmeredith]

Hits different is the most explicitly gay song Taylor has ever released

'Bet I could still melt your world, argumentative, antithetical dream girl' she is directly addressing her dream girl here. She's saying she could melt the dream girl's world. Literally what else could that possibly mean?

'I used to switch out these Kens' for what? It could be she's referring to men as Kens because she plays with them like dolls, but specifically 'switch out' rather than 'play with' implies she's switched them out for something else, like another Barbie - something I've found to be a common experience among girls who like girls.

Also 'asshole outlaw' reminds me of her country roots, and country music is generally very homophobic and sexist. She used to comply by these standards and mindsets but not anymore. Now, 'don't need another metaphor, its simple enough' she doesn't need to disguise it as friendship, instead she's writing song explicitly about this dream girl who she's in love with and skipping the metaphors for other more direct references:

Like references to other songs too, like mentions of summer because of Cruel Summer with 'freedom felt like summer ... now the sun burns'. 'I snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate' when the only garden gate Taylor's been seen around is Karlie's. The matching lyric: 'I'm drunk in the back of the car and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar' matches with 'I never don't cry at the bar ... I slur your name 'til someone puts me in a car' she's drunk and says 'Karlie' or 'Kar' which is mistaken for 'car'.

A New Romantics reference too, which is such a gay anthem I could write a whole other post about it. 'Like waiting for a bus that never comes' is to me a weirdly out of place lyric just like 'we wait for trains that just aren't coming'.

I'd even argue 'I heard your key turn in the door down the hallways/Is it okay? Is it you?/Or have they come to take me away?' is asking if interacting with Karlie at all is okay to do at all, if she can focus on the public drama about them actually being about her and Karlie, when all she can think about is being found out and taken away from her fame and reputation.

Then of course 'each bar plays our song nothing has ever felt so wrong' meaning 'their song' must be a popular and mainstream song to be played at bars so often, or more broadly could mean mainstream love songs in general which are mostly straight and don't feel right to her for some reason. Her friends tell her that's okay because 'love is a lie' but she knows they're only saying it to make her feel better, when that's not the real reason why 'moving on was always easy'.

Despite all the men she never really liked and the love that never felt right to her, this one person 'hits different'. You as the listener have a choice, either hear she's with her dream girl and it feels right, or that she 'just needed to meet the right guy', as straight people tell lesbians their entire lives.

This has been a gaylor essay thank you for reading

[pinkorchidsinspring]

“It’s like they don’t actually listen to her or her songs” ……. Bitches be trippin

Here is some lyrics from HER songs off the top of my head btw…

SHADE NEVER MADE ANYBODY LESS GAY

Sit quiet by my side in the shade. And not the kind that’s thrown, i mean the kind under where a tree has grown ( no one asked for this clarification btw and as in her publicist tree Paine covers up-shades any rumors of being gay?)

Your finger on my hairpin trigger

too in love to think straight

Your braids like a pattern. Love you to the moon and to Saturn.

Everybody’s watching her but she’s looking at you

The lips I used to call home, so scarlet

it’s new the shape of your body

Wear you like a necklace

No one knows how much I miss you

bet i can still melt your world argumentative, antithetical, dream girl

then you won’t have to cry, or hide in the closet

you can want who you want, boys & boys and girls & girls!

why are you mad? when you could be GLAAD?” (it’s literally spelled GLAAD in the lyrics on spotify I can’t make this up)

we're a crooked love, in a straight line down

save your dirtiest joke for me and at every table, I save you a seat… I’m sorry, but she wants a man sitting on her? 😐🙄

I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you

big reputation, ooh you and me would be a big conversation

All we are is skin and bone, trained to get along Always going with the flow, but you're friction

The rest of the world was in black & white (straight, see straight pride flag), but we were in screaming color (queer, LGBTQ+ pride flag)

What’s it like to brag about raking in dollars and getting bitches and models?

Like a rainbow with all of the colors you’ll never find another like me!

It’s okay we’re the best of friends……aaanyway

I want to transport you to somewhere the culture’s clever, confess my truth In swooping, sloping, cursive letters

don’t you worry your pretty little mind

I got a boyfriend, he’s older than us. I haven’t seen him in a couple of months. (Bearding much?)

Your lover in the foyer doesn’t even know you.

Bad bad boy shiny toy with a price you know that I bought it

don’t step on OUR gowns

If you never touched me, I would've Gone along with the righteous If I never blushed, then they could've Never whispered about this And if you never saved me from boredom I could've gone on as I was But, Lord, you made me feel important And then you tried to erase us

What would you do if they never found us out

You showed me colours you know I can’t see with anyone else

Seems like there’s always someone who disapproves, they’ll judge it like they know about me and you

The entirety of lavender haze

🫥 come at us swifties.

Why in the world would they agree to the stunt… I wonder when they gain absolutely nothing from the attention put on people whose names are attached to a WORLD renowned superstar…….. 🤑🤑🤑

[edelfie]

#𝓣𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘! this means war.

while you are off doing your own thing, being controversial and whatnot, a certain pest in your side seems to be buzzing about. unfortunately for her though, she’ll have to try a little harder to keep up with you.

or, lia loses her mind a little

POST CREDITS! —

As far as Lia is concerned, you are nothing more than an obstacle in her way. Sure, a persistently irritating obstacle, but a measly one nonetheless. Whatever game you were trying to get at wouldn't work on her.

She really shouldn't be wasting her energy on you anyways. She already has everything she wants: the best job in the world, all the money a girl could dream of, and her fiancé. Keyword: hers. Perhaps she is a bit territorial, but isn't it natural for any girl to be with their things?

Following their heated argument though, she isn't so certain where she stands with the man in question. She knew her words were hurtful the moment her fingers flung across the screen, and she won't fawn and play innocent knowing that was exactly why she sent them in the first place. It's just...so hard to communicate her emotions to Atsumu when he takes everything she says or does as a joke.

It's funny. Everyone in her life has expressed their own feelings about the constant push and pull of their relationship. Years of infrequent dating and uncertain feelings culminating into a very real, very permanent engagement was not how she envisioned their relationship ending. Because while Lia thinks she loves Atsumu, she knows he's difficult to be with.

When they were younger and had just started dated, she gave him the benefit of the doubt more often than not. That he was simply "like that", constantly riding on the brink and not giving a damn about what others thought about him. And to a degree, she found him aspirational for that and even wanted to replicate him in that sense.

That was, until, it started affecting her work. She began losing brand deals and sponsorships because the boy she was dating couldn't behave himself for the two hours he was in public. It was ridiculous! At times, it felt like she wasn't his girlfriend, but his mother, his publicist, and his manager all in one. And maybe that does make her selfish for not going to his games, but when does she get to be selfish in their relationship?

She feels the most empowered, the most authentic, the most selfish every time she calls it off. She gets to enjoy her freedom, then watch as Atsumu comes crawling back to her. Sometimes he outright says he'll change (he doesn't usually), or he'll demand that she "match his effort" (she won't). Maybe it's antithetical to some, but for Lia it just makes sense.

So despite dating Atsumu Miya being equivalent to forcing a square into a circle, Lia would rather die than let anyone take him away from her.

NOTES! —

Sorry for the smaller chapter today! I just couldn’t think of a way to fluff it up that wouldn’t already be included in future chapters. If I do get any ideas though, I’ll be sure to update this and post a notif. Also, Lia isn't meant to be like a token "mean girl", she's very flawed and human and that's a result of her environment. She is still bitchy of course, but not evil. Anyways, today’s fundraiser is to help the Liberty Lancers Marching Band purchase new uniforms! While it may seem miniscule compared to other "issues", as someone who's partner marches and has come to love band themselves, having new uniforms would mean the world for these students. You can click here to donate or read more on their story.

In other news, I am back from my (tiny) break! Though I’ll admit, I didn’t use that time wisely to plan ahead for my next releases LOL. I had fun though! Starting on Friday evening, I made a new group of friends! I signed up to be in a buddy-program with international students, and I found out my buddy that day (if that makes sense). I’m so lucky because we have so much in common! My buddy and I (plus another buddy pair we’re friends with) went to a football game on Saturday, but I only really cared for the pretzels and marching band LOL. The opposing team’s band was so good and I was literally mesmerized by their majorette dancers.

And then I presented my speech in class on Tuesday, which wasn’t as scary as I thought but I’m still glad it’s over LMAO. After that I went to the gym to work out for about 30 mins, before heading home to go on a date with my partner. We walked around downtown and went bowling, to which he absolutely wiped the floor with me I fear. And then today in one of my classes we had a rock, paper, scissors tournament (gotta love college LOL) and…I WON! We did it a few times but I just kept winning or getting very close, so I was named the RPS champion. Anyways, here’s a picture of me and my buddy down below ^-^

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