Steddie brainrot continues to worsen to a concerning degree but here's a crack idea that is absolutely sending me:
Famous Spicy Six in which Jonathon is a director who decides to work on a passion project: a Scooby-Doo movie. His ideal cast is as follows:
Nancy Wheeler (investigative journalist with a few special appearances on crime dramas) as Daphne Blake
Argyle (an actor with a habit of playing small parts; he acts only because he thinks it's fun, so he's not concerned with significant roles) as Shaggy Rogers
Robin Buckley (a well-known voice actor who is more well-known for her social media posts and clap-backs) as Velma Dinkley
Steve Harrington (basketball star who is also more well-known for his social media clap-backs and for being Corroded Coffin's number one fan) as Fred Jones
Eddie Munson (frontman for Corroded Coffin, an insanely popular metal/punk/rock band and "infamous" for unashamedly posting Steve Harrington thirst tweets) as the voice of Scooby-Doo
Corroded Coffin is also creating an entirely new, original soundtrack for the movie
And because I think it's funnier this way, this is also an AU where the Upside Down still happened, so Jonathon just calls his friends up and is like "Okay, so hear me out"
The absolute insanity that breaks out when both the movie and cast are announced because nobody can figure out how Jonathon managed to convince all these powerhouses to join his movie.
The further screaming online after one of the movie promo interviews where a reporter asks how they all agreed to the movie and Nancy hits them with, "Well, Jonathon asked, and he never asks for anything."
Which leads to the discovery that they all knew each other in high school, and the reporter jokingly asks if that means they've all dated each other, too, which leads to Eddie jumping in with absolute delight like, "Well, that's a funny story, there. See, Stevie here dated Nancy, who then dated Jonathon when they broke up, who then dated Argyle after they broke up. And I thought Stevie and Robin were dating, so I was very confused when I saw Robin and Nancy kissing. But then I found out that Robin was a true-blue lesbian, which meant Stevie here was open for the taking, and we've been banging ever since."
and Steve is just sitting there, head in his hands while Robin cackles and decides to tell the reporter all about Steve's "fuck I have a crush on Eddie" crisis
This interview, of course, leads to even more freaking out online and comments like "I know I asked for poly Scooby gang, but this is ridiculous," and "I can't believe that in this, the year of our lord 20xx, ScoobyXFreddy became a canon ship," and "if I had a nickel for every romantic relationship the Scooby gang actors have had with each other, I'd have five nickels, which is way more than any of us fucking expected to have," and "suddenly Eddie Munson's thirst tweets make a lot more sense, but can we talk about Steve Harrington's CC tweets now," and "everyone say thank you to Eddie Munson for revealing that mess of a relationship map," and "finally, the canon lesbian velma and daphne we deserve"
The movie is a box office hit, btw, and bloopers from filming roll with the credits, among which is Eddie Munson making Steve Harrington lose his shit laughing on set while dressed in a Scooby Doo onesie and singing Corroded Coffin songs with his Scooby Voice
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why do I have to see Murray’s balding ass???? according to the duffers and stranger things writing process, he’s served his purpose—should’ve been gone after S3 if not S2 so why do I have to see him over and over again? why did this fucker get a call so he can keep pointing out the obvious?
they’ll keep the raging z*onist but not Kali (Eleven’s sister character who was meant to just be edgy but brought so much depth to herself AND El, 008, test subject with fucking powers that would be beneficial in taking down Vecna) or Argyle (literal ride or die who got roped into the upside down business, was shot at with his friends, buried a dead body, drove across the country to reunite the group, is linked to the group in multiple ways, played a similar role as Robin’s in ST3 but apparently he doesn’t get to stay).
they’ll keep the ugly, old white guy who is just a companion at this point but not the POCs that go MIA after they’re used to further the plot for a white main character.
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I’m really surprised that at no point so far has a character mixed up “upside down” with “down under” and accidentally led another character to think that they were talking about Australia the whole time. And by another character I mean Argyle.
Jonathan: it’s full of monsters with hundreds of teeth
Argyle: yeah, everyone knows that
Jonathan: and there’s really dangerous plants
Argyle: I’ve heard that too
Will: and there’s this giant spider made of smoke that can mind control you
Argyle: I didn’t know that, but it’s not surprising based on everything else I’ve heard about Australia
Will: ….
Jonathan: ….
Jonathan: what?
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Eddie, kissing Steve: Hey sweetheart.
Steve, kissing back: What’s up, babe.
Jonathan: Did we miss something?
Robin: Oh, no no, they’re just playing a game, no biggie.
Argyle: What game?
Robin: It’s called gay chicken. The point of the game is for two guys to pretend to be gay together for as long as possible, and whoever chickens out first loses.
Jonathan: And how long has it been since they are, uh… pretending?
Robin: Three weeks.
Argyle:
Jonathan:
Nancy, leaning over: They’re pretty stubborn.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
Read the awesome fic by @unclewaynemunson on AO3: The gayest chicken in Hawkins
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sick of people justifying the lack of diversity in stranger things with the fact that it's an 80s small town when they have fucking great poc characters who are either underutilised (lucas, erica) or who they just deleted off the show (kali, argyle). not to mention all of vecna's victims being fleshed out...except the Black one! and all the opportunities they could've used for rep, like vickie. this is a consistent pattern.
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every argyle headcanon is so good and canon to me. he’s a closet millionaire. a garfield enthusiast. he could rub two braincells together and solve the apocalypse but he’d rather be chilling. him and jonathan have definitely kissed.
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