#aromanticism

[vroomvroomwee]

God the queer experience of meeting wonderful people who are actually kind, compassionate, and thoughtful. Becoming close friends. But still feeling this deep sense of otherness. This deep dissonance between you and them that stems from the fact that they have no idea who you are.

It fucking hurts to have these people hang out with you and like you, and knowing deep down that they won't like the REAL you, but instead this masked persona that you put up for the sake of your own safety. It hurts knowing that every time you talk to them, you know that they're talking to someone else. That someone else is pushing you back and making conversation with your friends. Stealing them from you.

And it's not like we have much choice. People constantly say oh find other queer people, oh just make trans friends, oh you need a community. As if it's that easy. As if we don't already desperately long for some form of recognition, of connection. As if we don't claw our hearts out every night because we want the space next to us to be occupied. To be understood. To be valued. To be worth a damn. To be loved. Some of us just don't have that choice.

It hurts that I can't be friends with these lovely people because of the hand I was dealt. And yeah, I'm ready to hear the "if they don't accept the real you, then they were never lovely people to begin with." True. That's true. But I'm not oblivious to the fact that if I was cishetallo then I would actually have friends. And feel known. And feel seen.

I know we're supposed to love ourselves no matter what and these days you'll basically be torn apart if you so much as insinuate that you're not proud of your identity. But goddammit I'm not. It's hard. And I know trans is beautiful. And queer is beautiful. And it's liberating. But I just wish they knew it too. And it's fucking lonely

[ace-sher-bi-john]

Just wanted to reaffirm to myself and the world that romance-favorable aros are valid. Greyromantics, demiromantics and any other aro-spec identities that experience occasional romantic attraction are valid. Aromantics who for whatever reason still desire and take part in romantic relationships are valid.

It's been a bit of a rough ride to get to where I know this to be true. When I first found out I was aroace, I felt broken for identifying as aroace and still wanting to get married someday. It felt like I was lying in some way, or that I was betraying the aromantic community by wanting what by definition of being aromantic, I should never want. I felt guilty knowing my future partners would feel things towards me that I would never be able to feel in return.

I know that most of the aromantic affirmations are themed around wanting to make sure that aromantics in general know they are valid in an amatonormative world. Most aromantics experience the exact opposite problem as me, not feeling valid in having zero desire for romantic relationships (which is of course valid, romance-indifferent, romance-averse and romance-repulsed aros are very much valid). But there is next to nothing on the internet that I've been able to find saying that it's okay to be aromantic and romance favorable. You're not betraying the community in some way. You're valid too.

So here's that post. If you are romance-favorable and aro-spec, you're valid too. Don't feel as though your identity forces you into a box. The label that fits you best isn't tailor made specifically for you and you can do whatever you want to make it your own.

[ellie--rambles]

It's strange, I have such a deep desire for someone to view me romantically yet I have no desire to love someone romantically myself. I want to be loved like a matriarch. Loved by a man who worships her despite her wildness. Yet, I would hate to love like that. I could never love him as he loved me. After a time, I feel I would become uneasy with the attention I would receive. It's an amatonormative and heteronormative ideal. I desire the compassion and motherhood that I've seen matriarchs hold. I desire the headstrong opinions of those women. I want to be the matriarch. But I can't love a partner like that. I've never been able to. I desire a friend to climb through bear country with, bells at our waists. I desire a friend to watch the sunset with. But I fear I will never be a matriarch in that world. I must forge the path between the two, the path strewn with leaves and broken glass. I will be relentless, compassionate, and headstrong until the day I die.

[knifearo]

sorry not to be sickeningly sentimental but to be sickeningly sentimental. making this little aro blog and making a bunch of aro positivity posts and having my notes flooded with aro people being proud of their identities or sharing their struggles or creating community or just expressing aro joy... it makes me so happy. i really truly do love to see it. best thing on earth. i love you aro people. we're out there and we're beautiful and we're so joyous and we're doing it together 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[dragzo]

Thank you to everyone who gave my fic a chance. I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for 100 comments, over 250 kudos, 38 bookmarks and over 4000 hits! It’s crazy to me that my fic gained so much traction and love. I know I was regularly posting updates but it’s still a really nice achievement.

If you enjoyed my writing in that fic, I’d highly recommend checking out the new fic I’m working on: Prank Gone Wrong. Another spicynoodles fic, it centres on Mei and her experience as a aromantic third wheel. It’s a comedy with light angst undertones and a lot of fluff. Updates won’t be as scheduled as the last fic, but I promise I’ll keep them regular. Chapter 2 will be up on Saturday :]

[deep-sigh-comics]

love

[scarlct-vvitch]

in honor of ace week id like to shoutout every asexual who first thought they were bi/pan because they looked at all the genders and felt no difference and zero is equal to zero so they said "huh. must be bisexual" and then shoved their sexuality back under the rug for 3-5 years

[peach-pot]

(if you don’t mind reblogging this post, that would be groovy ^_^)

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

Saw a reddit post today about a girl who was upset that her childhood best friend replaced a photo of the two of them in his wallet with one of him and his girlfriend. And while yeah, she was being unreasonable with a lot of what she was saying, I totally understand the sadness of a friend "replacing" you with someone they have romantic feelings for. Makes it worse when the top comment is this

Every single comment on this post is about how family and romantic relationships always take precedence over friendships. I don't have anything more to say to this aside from the fact that... this is why it's hard for aroaces to imagine futures for themselves. Society drills it into your head that you're going to live in a world where you are no one's priority if you don't have romantic relationships and it fucking sucks

[ihhfhonao3]

You know that smut you like? Y’know, the really, REALLY good one? You know that one? Yeah?

An asexual wrote that.

And that really good romantic fluff you like? The really cute one, the domestic fluff? Y’know that one?

An aromantic wrote that.

So before you go to sleep reading fanfiction tonight, be sure to thank all the asexuals and aromantics that are writing your favorite fics!

Because no, we are not the pure little children you think we are.

Everybody say thank you a-specs!

Thank you a-specs!

Alright, I’ll let you go now :3

[bizarreaizen]

Someone: hey can you give me some relationship advice?

Me who's aroace: Communicate.

Someone: I tried but it didn't-

Me: break up.

[isabellascarlett1]

Asexual folks are no “less Queer”.

Aromantic folks are no “less Queer”.

Bi/Mspec folks are no “less Queer”.

We’re all just as Queer as any other Queer person.

[aroxbetchio]

a QPR is a QPR because the individuals in it decided it is. not because friends ‘don’t live together and kiss eachother,’ or ‘because friendships aren’t this committed.’ that’s not how this works. friends can do anything and as long as they have the intent for friendship, it’s a friendship. you can defend QPR’s without pushing amatonormativity.

[kendallstewys]

As an aroace person when I say 'I need him' I don't mean it sexually. I mean I need to keep him in a jar and study him like a bug.

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

[aromanticunt]

“Love makes you human” actually what makes me human is a large amulet that I hid hundreds of years ago that’s slowly feeding me power so my mortal body can live on forever, but you do you I guess