We need more songs about unrequited love from the perspective of the person who's rejecting someone else's advances (i am aromantic)
little note for one of my friends
one of my friends was questioning as aro-spec so i thought i would maybe give a few terms here
greyromantic/grayromantic - experiencing romantic attraction at a lesser frequency or intensity as the societal "normal" person. this happens to be me!!! it also doesnt exclude different attraction types
lithromantic - you like people... but you have absolutely no care for actually acting on those feelings or knowing someone likes you back.
frayromantic - you like people until you have a strong emotional bond with them, after which the attraction fades away.
quoioromantic - do i like this person?? is it a different type of attraction?? is romantic attraction even relevant to me????? who the fuck knows, cause thats what this term is all about!!!!! (op realizing this term may fit them somewhat)
aegoromantic - "romance seems cool i guess, i dont think it's for me tho haha, like its cool fantasizing about romance and thingies but like idk i would rather not do that irl" - someone, somewhere, explaining aegoromantic
i mentioned different attraction types in quoiromantic earlier, so heres a list of different attraction and relationship types
sexual attraction - needs no introduction, you just horny, moving on
sensual attraction - like physical but non-sexual desires, like hugs, hand holding, etc
alterous - my favorite!!! this type is basically indistinguishable between romantic and platonic attraction, im pretty sure i feel this a lot, either that or its queerplatonic. see op cant even distinguish them and they are the chronically online autistic who researches queer wiki pages in their free time lol
queerplatonic!!!!!! - my actual favorite move over alterous, this is basically the ultimate platonic relationship, most would probably see it as romantic relationship cause it sees a level of devotion and commitment not often seen in platonic relationships. if i may blatantly steal from the lgbtqia+ fandom, "deep mutual trust, emotional closeness, and loyalty" normally seen in romantic relationships are a defining factor of queerplatonic relationships. if you want a good example of one ive seen people say that frances and aled from radio silence (alice oseman, 2016) are a queerplatonic relationship, and one that i am VERY jealous of but ive already talked about that here.
remember, nobody expects you to figure this out immediately. i doubt even alloromantics get crushes every week to develop their understanding of their attraction (but im aro-spec so who knows), so i doubt you're gonna find a billion crushes to dissect your attraction with, it's probably gonna take a while, but hey, if we... (*remembers that making jokes about humanity killing themselves and their homeworld bring the mood down*) ...have a community, why not ask around?
if anybody has stuff to correct me on, or stuff that you want me to talk about too, please just reach out!!
and to that friend i wrote this for, a lot of this you've probably seen already, but i hope i could help a bit :3 - aidan/ellie
I'm an "AroAce Stereotype"
I'm Romance averse/Repulsed>
I'm Sex repulsed
I hate the idea of marriage in all forms
I don't want a QPR at all
I'm someone who gets uncomfortable at sexual talk and sex jokes
I'm someone who often has innuendos or sexual concept fly over my head.
I'm someone who can't tell when someone is flirting with me
I'm someone who can't pick up on romantic or sexual tension
I'm someone who finds "shipping" to be annoying
I'm someone who says "They just seem like friends to me"
I'm someone who believed that attraction could be turned on or off
I'm someone who can't make sense of romance at all and cant figure out what makes it different from every other relationship.
I'm someone who thinks romance is stupid and sex is gross and I don't understand the big deal everyone makes about it
I'm someone who never was upset to find out I was AroAce but rather relieved as I have a genuine fear of being stuck in a romantic relationship that i do not want.
In all cases I am not an AroAce who can be considered "normal" by the standards of allo society.
I'm not just a stereotype for you to shit on.
I'm not the reason aphobes are aphobic
I'm not a problem that you need to erase and refute to be accepted by allos.
I'm not an experience that you and ignore as "not really how aspec people are" just because You are not part of it.
Stop leaving us behind. Stop throwing us under the bus. We deserve support too. We deserve to not be demonized and shunned because we're an "stereotype". We are not the problem. We are not a problem to be fixed. start fighting aphobes on their logic instead of trying to make up for our existence.
cuddling with friends save me
cuddling with friends
save me cuddling with friends
sorry not to be sickeningly sentimental but to be sickeningly sentimental. making this little aro blog and making a bunch of aro positivity posts and having my notes flooded with aro people being proud of their identities or sharing their struggles or creating community or just expressing aro joy... it makes me so happy. i really truly do love to see it. best thing on earth. i love you aro people. we're out there and we're beautiful and we're so joyous and we're doing it together 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
I just want to share this. I’m aroace, I fully identify with the label yet I’m in a relationship (QPR with my partner in crime) and plan to get engaged in less than a year. All aroace means is you don’t feel romantic and sexual attraction to the same degree as allos (non-aces/aros). It exists on a spectrum and there is no reason to deny yourself the label you identify with just because you are in a relationship.
As an atertiary alloaro, I just have to say that despite allosexuality being the default, people are extremely hostile towards it when its not accompanied by other attractions like romantic, platonic, etc. Especially the conformist queer crowd that thinks its so progressive to throw us under a bus as the 'degenerates' and 'perverts' the queer community is characterised as by bigots.
There's actually nothing wrong with being a sexual person. If you think that, thats on you. Ask yourself why you're so concerned about labelling ppl as 'perverts' or 'degenerates' just for liking sex or not having attractions that don't involve sexual attraction. Dragging down other queer people isn't going to make you any more 'palatable' to bigots.
Bi to aroace pipeline experience #69420 i remember being on youtube watching compilations of bi tiktoks and a lot of it was girls who were like "I thought I was bi turns out I'm a lesbian" and I though oh is that gonna happen to me well I have news for 14 year old me, I'm not attracted to men after all. Or women
I never know if it's the aroace in me talking but in romantic stories when characters say stuff like "you're mine" or like act in a certain way to prove their partner is "theirs" it's??? It takes me out of the story so quick I truly don't get how that's appealing fdghjsk I'm not romance repulsed but if someone starts talking that way about me i will leave
This one dude asked me how i knew that i was aro if i never liked or kissed anyone yet
I got to ask him how he knew that he was straight if he never sucked dick
It never ceases to amaze me how allo people absolutely lose their marbles when someone they find attractive or perceive to be conventionally attractive turns out to be arospec and or acespec. They really lose their marbles like "you can't be ace/aro you're hot!!!". It's the same anger abled people feel when someone they find attractive turns out to be disabled or when cis people find out someone they found attractive turns out to be trans. I don't know why they find it so hard to conceive of trans/disabled/arospec/acespec people being attractive and knowing they're attractive