#as a more fun and less destructive way to stim

[fabdante]

*happy stimming about all the DMC talk* Many thoughts, head full, thank you so much! 💜

-Not sure how plausible this would be in canon, but I love the idea of reboot Dante being able to read, speak, and understand different languages innately because of his angel heritage. Slowly, at first, and he probably needs to hear a language spoken a lot before it "clicks" for him, but he gets there. It gets easier the more into his angel powers he delves/uses. I headcanon the first time he spoke in a language he didn't previously know, the only reason he noticed the difference is because Kat asked him when he learned to speak that language afterwards. It just sounded/felt like English to him. Not sure how this magical translation would effect slang, since even in its native language, that varies so much, but its still fun to think about.

-Dante unlocking healing abilities (from either side, tbh, since we've seen demons heal people in the preboot continuity, and angels being able to heal people just seems like a given) in order to help heal Kat. Also love the idea of him sprouting wings/angel feathers (like Vash from Trigun) as a way to shield Kat or someone else from harm. And maybe learning how to do that shield thing the Witches do, that'd be cool. Just! Let him be protective! Let him have powers that focus more on building and maintaining connections rather than just destruction. I love that trope!

-Idk if you've read Brandon Sanderson's "The Stormlight Archives" series, but I keep chewing over the idea of angelic and demonic energy being less like opposites and more like Stormlight and Voidlight from Sanderson's series. If you haven't read the series and have no idea wtf I'm talking about, just skip this, sorry.

-Something I noticed when playing the reboot after playing all of the original DMC games:

The demons in Limbo City all look... less organic, I guess? Than the demons do in the original DMC timeline. Like, OG DMC demons all look like things that coupd exist in nature, if a bit twisted into something more dangerous, like goats or monkeys or lizards. Even the bigger demons, like Berial or Echidna or Bael and Dagon all look more organic/natural than the demons in the reboot.

This isn't a complaint, btw, I really do like this detail! Because the only demons that I think can really compare to how mechanical/constructed the reboot demons look are the Angelos- i.e. something Mundus literally made. And Mundus has made other, more "natural" looking demons, too, like the Blades and Frosts and such- but the designs of the demons in the reboot make me think that THIS is what the demons that Mundus "designs" (shapes to his purposes) look like after 2,000 years of having the Human Realm as a testing ground for his minions and no Sparda to stop him.

This could also just be what the demons under Mundus look like after they've had 2,000 years to adapt/evolve in or to the Human Realm, since according to the OG DMC canon, demons change based on what they want or a driving desire, like moving really fast or having extra mouths to make it easier to cast spells. But also I kinda like the theory that the demons we see in the reboot are like this because this is the way Mundus made them to be. It vibes well with Mundus' boss form being a big construct of asphalt and fire and darkness, and that weird darkness that the collaborators bleed from their eyes after Lilith/the demons brainwash them.

of course!! i am always very happy to talk about dmc 💖

I have a huge soft spot for bilingual characters so I think this is a very fun concept! I personally headcanon reboot Vergil as fluent in Italian (further elaboration is his adopted family is Italian American with close roots to Italy and family still there and he has to talk to his Nonna somehow). And I've always liked the idea of Dante kind of picking up something in osmosis. He's a clever boy I would love for him to speak more languages and this is a fun idea!

Expanding upon the healing abilities is very fun to, I think. It would be very cool to for him to adopt a sort of power focused on defense particularly since in the reboot he kind of explicitly picks up a protector role and everything, it'd be cool to see!

(Also I have not read the thing you mentioned but I do like connecting the angels and demons in the reboot more then just having them be sort of opposites)

However I think the idea that a lot of the enemies we see in game are created by Mundus (or someone in general) is really interesting and makes a lot of sense with their doll like motifs. The bulk of the demons in game that we fight feel very...controlled. I've mentioned before on other posts but I've always kind of thought of Limbo as a body and the things in it acting like an immune system so the idea of the demons being a fabrication of Limbo to protect itself like antibodies is something I find interesting. But given the preboot and the Angelos it makes a lot of sense that Mundus could have made them also. Something I like a lot about the reboot to is how there's such a contrast between the more sentient demons (the Hunter, the Succubus, Mundus, Phineas, Lilith, those guys) and the bulk of the ones we fight in game and it just makes me really curious about what the demon world is like in the reboot (very fun to fill in with headcanons and fanon!)

[chirpbudgie]

more digging through gidget’s brain. didn’t capitalize this one for fun meow

cws for: discussion of past trauma and it’s effects.

gidget, first and foremost, is a child.

in some unorthodox ways maybe, yes. he’s got perpetual baby-face and is shorter than most other stanleys. if you look close, he’s got freckles that make him appear especially boyish. his speaking has improved over time but still falls somewhere between a child’s lilt and a deaf accent. (who did he pick that up from, anyway? he refuses to tell.)

but also in the ways he smiles unabashedly, wholeheartedly. he doesn’t really laugh that often, but it’s visible in his eyes. and his eyes, he’s almost comically bad at lying, but will use his sad puppy-dog expression for evil. he’s really something else when he hides his brown eyes through his lashes. when it works, he always curls his fingers; it’s a stim less obvious than hand flapping and probably not good for his joints.

and his emotions are hard and fast and sometimes difficult to manage. he loves and he loves, no end in sight, almost to rival leigh. but he doesn’t go many weeks without tears, good or bad. (he cried for 10 minutes at the end of mary poppins.) every home he stays at, he leaves a trail of “drink water” sticky-note reminders, usually not from himself. he’s got a bad memory, okay?

the second is that gidget is traumatized.

and a lot more than it shows at first glance. he’s got some separation anxiety if you squint, regression and disassociation. and enough flinching to last a lifetime, if someone’s body or voice has even the possibility of frustration at him. (he’s gotten better with that, but bad days are bad days.)

he’s bashful, trying to learn how to accept compliments he’s never gotten before, hides his face with his hands, sometimes wiggles a little. loves being cared for, but too shy to admit it past a vague “that feels nice,” “thank you for dinner,” “can i sit with you?”

he won’t talk about his parable, often can’t handle jokes about it. it should have come up in therapy by now but he always shuts down trying to dig memories out from broken walls of repression. he hates how it bleeds into his life, swallowing him up at the sight of blurry faces or being called obedient, sometimes even small concrete rooms.

and the third is that gidget doesn’t get mad.

so it’s frightening, both for him and those around him when he is. it has a lot of bad ways to end. he can get huffy or frustrated, yes, but it’s very rare to see him truly angry. if you can tell from a distance, it’s already too late to calm him.

it’s like a really ugly tantrum. he thrashes and wails—it’s impossible for him to express thoughts—and almost always cries. they have to restrain him so he doesn’t hurt someone, usually himself; spencer has managed to hold him alone, but it’s much easier with two people. he’s not very strong by any means, but he’s got a habit of biting, and bite force is not to be reckoned with.

(he’s gotten free before. he was still thrashing when he hit the floor and almost knocked himself out.)

but they have a system that works, for the most part. the only thing they know for sure is that it happens when he’s overwhelmed for a long time. but when he’s worn himself out and is ready to listen, he takes deep breaths with whoever held him. they try to turn off his senses—dark room, earplugs, whatever—because his everything is still raw.

despite everything, he’s on the right path, dr. joy says. he needs to relearn how to be angry, even if he expresses it in some unorthodox ways right now. it’s a scary and overwhelming feeling, but not inherently bad. they can work on less destructive ways when they know he won’t bottle it up.

(she’s tried to provoke him to anger in their sessions. gidget always responds in fear, confusion, or distress. it’s been trained out of him like a dog that doesn’t bark. they’ve gotta take what they can get.)

if gidget ends up hurting someone during a meltdown, he’ll apologize and apologize. sometimes he’s got to be watched close for a few days to make sure he doesn’t try to distance himself, especially if it’s someone in the household.

(it’s because it reminds gidget of his narrator creator. he had mostly unpredictable rage, and gidget never wants to be like him. they could never be comparable, since the fellow is shit at actually apologizing, but children learn by example.)

[rainbowxocs]

Name: Immanuel Ansley.

Special Titles: Lord Immanuel.

Username: confusedweasel

Age: 24.

Pronouns: They/Them

Sexuality: Asexual, Panromantic.

Gender: Nonbinary.

Species: Hybrid (Christ)

Disorders: Compulsive Lying OCD, CPTSD, Autism, Anxiety.

Religion: Atheist.

Job: None.

Lives in: West Virginia, America, 2034.

Languages: English, Heavenly. + Most Languages.

Height: 5’2”

Race: Middle Eastern.

Ethnicity: Heavenly, Jewish.

Accent: Slightly Off, Cheery.

Powers: Shapeshifting, Zero Gravity, Teleporting, Healing, Walking on Water, Exorcisms, Necromancy, Summoning, Changing Objects, Controlling Plants/Nature, Controlling the Weather, Dimension Creation, Flight, Hypnosis.

Weapons: Holy Knife.

Alignment: Chaotic Good.

Text Color: Black, Blue when Lying.

Main Animal: Ferret.

Main Hobbies: Sculpting, Foraging, Mycology, Playing Pretend, Kalimba, Piano, Flower Arranging.

Diet: Carnivorous.

Favorite Drinks: Apple Juice, Hot Chocolate, Peppermint Tea.

Favorite Meals: Octopus Hotdogs, Meat Lovers Pizza, Burritos, Tuna Eyeballs, Sashimi, Breadsticks, Lucky Charms, Chicken Nuggets.

Favorite Candy: Lollipops, Pixie Sticks.

Favorite Desserts: Gingerbread Cookies, Cherry Bonemarrow Icecream, Blueberry Icecream.

Favorite Flower: Butterwort, Dandelions.

Scent: Rain, Moss, Vanilla.

Handedness: Left Handed.

Blood Color: Gold.

Birthday: October 31st 2009. (Scorpio.)

Awareness: Not Aware. (Effect: None.)

Theme:

Playlist:

Fun Facts: They know how to kill a wide variety of species. :)

Special Interests: Mushrooms, Minecraft, Sculpting.

Stims: Spinning, Dancing, Singing, Handflapping, Pressure Stims, Acupressure Rings, Soft Things.

Stimboard: LINK

Moodboard: LINK

Fashionboard: LINK

Comfort Objects: Old Teddy Bear.

In Game:

Minecraft Skin: LINK

Family:

God. (Creator.)

Lucifer Morningstar, The Traveler. (Estranged Siblings.)

Alexander Leverett (Adoptive Brother.)

Michael Ansley (Adoptive Brother, Nephew Technically.)

Samuel Coleman (Adoptive Uncle.)

Micah Coleman (Adoptive Uncle.)

Pets:

Mycena Amicta (Panda Ferret)

Breadstick (Blaze Ferret)

Brief Personality: It’s hard to fully pinpoint Immanuel’s personality, when they don’t know someone they will change their personality on a whim, becoming whatever the other person wants them to be. However once you get closer to them you can start to see the true them underneath all of that. A creative, socially awkward, dork.

Brief Backstory: Immanuel was born to kill. That is their purpose according to heaven. Their goal from the moment they were made was to kill the Antichrist by any means necessary. And Immanuel became a perfect killing machine, cold, calculating, being able to manipulate anyone who got in their way. They were punished and trained relentlessly throughout their entire childhood.

However, Heaven didn’t take into account what would happen when Immanuel was able to step out into the world and see what it’s really like. Less destruction at every corner and more beautiful. And when Immanuel met Michael it was even more of a shock to him that Michael was not a soul sucking evil monster but just, a guy.

Immanuel was able to escape from heavens grasp and began to heal and grow with their new family.

[cure-icy-writes]

ace attorney neurodivergent headcanons

because the bsd ones seemed to go over well, and folks find them validating, here goes! under the cut, because this got long:

-Phoenix 100% has ADHD and i will die on this hill 

-he excels at unconventional methods of thinking, and has some issues with impulse control. 

-he’s not great at concentrating for long periods of time, hence his struggles learning about law the traditional way. he was struggling as an art student in college until mia took him under her wing and said “sweetie. you think law is about rules? if the prosecutor isn’t gnashing his teeth you’re doing it wrong. Come, my child, let me show you how to bluff.”

-This right here? One of his lifelong stims. he used to crease paper weirdly when he was bored, making rolls and cones with the surface, and he always turned in his assignments looking like they’d been through an origami factory and come out wrong. He damaged a lot of books that way because he’d play with the pages while reading, and as an adult had to force himself to adjust that habit to be less destructive.

-He has some issues with coordination, which got better in time but never fully went away, and that combined with emotional dysregulation makes him a very expressive speaker. He talks with his hands and has accidentally hit people with them more times than he can count. mia has been smacked by a stray objection once or twice, but they never talk about it 

-He never got his drivers license because he’d get overwhelmed (sensory overload plus yelling instructor plus navigation plus mortal danger) and didn’t exactly cope with it well. He never caused any accidents, just pulled over to the side of the road with a blank expression and walking into a coffee shop to dissociate in a stall for half an hour. the car was still running, and the instructor was not exactly pleased.

-the man ran across a burning bridge. he is absolutely consequence blind and makes problems for Future Phoenix to deal with.

-Maya! her autism went unnoticed for two reasons: one, she’s a girl, and two, she lives in the mountains and gets her body hijacked by dead people. any other eccentricities fall by the wayside after that

-echolalia! she tends to repeat a lot of things that phoenix says, just because she likes the sound of it

-special interest in the steel samurai: self explanatory

-has trouble with sarcasm and tone: often phoenix can’t tell if she’s joking or not when she says something, and in the incident with the fire hose, she can’t read tone either

-while she comes off as childish, she’s deeply introspective and offers wisdom at unexpected moments

-she grew up with that fun kind of trauma that makes you feel like a burden to everyone around you because you’re different in a way that you can’t explain and maybe it’s just an excuse, which she mostly hides because she hates burdening other people with her personal issues. but these insecurities come out full force in turnabout goodbyes.

-due to a combination of sensory issues and routines, she samefoods a LOT. it’s not particularly healthy, but she makes an effort to take vitamins and supplement her favorite foods sometimes. Also, she has every ramen place in town memorized plus whether their food is something she considers “safe”

-edgeworth is autistic but very repressed due to von karma’s influence

-seriously he masks heavily but has no real sense of self and has a crisis over that

-has a very strong sense of justice, which we see in fourth grade, and doesn’t care about his social standing so much as his values.

-forgets that not everyone will understand his distressing and probably intended-to-be-poetic goodbye note; ghosts phoenix for a year

-same special interest as maya, but hides it and gets defensive because he’s sick of autistic people being treated like children with no autonomy. that’s why he’s always tried to act mature for his age, even making comments about mia’s youth in a flashback when he was younger than her

-experiences the classic Gifted Kid Burnout after losing one time in his life and being forced to reconsider the very foundations of his worldview. not strictly an autism thing but often comorbid

-struggles to make eye contact in most of his sprites

-struggles to communicate his own emotions; he absolutely tries but the words never quite express how he really feels. unnecessary feelings indeed

[colehasapen]

(ONE SHOT) atiniir STAR WARS

Alpha-17 had never wanted a Jedi, the mere idea of it made him angry and filled him with disgust. He had been told since decanting that he and his brothers had been made for the Jedi, and for all of a minute A-17 had been excited to meet the legendary warriors - then training had begun. Alpha’s brothers died and Spar left, and that excitement had faded, to be replaced by fury when the CCs and CTs started being decanted as tiny cadets with breakable limbs and too-thin shoulders.

Alpha and his batch had been brought into the world fully grown, able to - mostly - cope with the harsh training the Kaminiise and Cuy’val Dar put them through with minimal losses, but the Littles? They expired in droves, entire batches wasted away and their too-small bodies recycled, and Alpha hated the Jetiise. Hated that they’d have him and his vod’e made, only to let them die. The Jedi were supposed to preserve life. They were supposed to be the Jedi’s soldiers, and yet they weren’t good enough to be preserved - they’d always be less-then.

Alpha had done what he could for his vod’ike. He had been hard and unyielding, because he’d rather the cadets learn from him than risk them being given to someone like Priest. He had bitten his tongue, kept his thoughts to himself whenever the subject of the Jetiise came up, and kept working. He continued to train the cadets, to put them through the ringer so that the Kaminiise would get the results they wanted, and kept his anger under control whenever he’d come to the morning meal to see more and more of his vod’ike missing. He had made sure that his vod’ike could handle anything thrown at them, and he proudly watched them grow and flourish. They’d be enough, Alpha would be sure of it, because if they weren’t they’d be dead.

Meeting the Jetiise, he had been unimpressed. These were the beings they were made to serve? These unprepared, arrogant aruetiise were who they were expected to die for? Alpha-17’s anger had only grown as more and more of his vod’ike fell, as the Jetiise led themselves and their troops to their deaths. His advice is ignored, so Alpha had stopped offering it and simply worked to keep what troopers he could out of danger as more and more of the Jedi he was assigned to died because of their incompetence.

Then he’s introduced to Obi-Wan Kenobi and his shiny - his padawan - Anakin Skywalker.

Before that moment, Alpha hadn’t met a single shiny Jedi, and while Skywalker may be an arrogant little shit with a superiority complex a mile wide that hid a crippling inferiority complex, the ARC couldn’t help but see the Littles in his place. So when he sees a mistake in Kenobi’s other-wise - and very surprisingly - iron-clad tactics that could possibly put someone in needless danger, Alpha speaks up.

And Kenobi actually listens.

Alpha keeps speaking up after that, keeps pushing the boundaries to see what he can get away with before the Jetii snaps and shows his true colours. Kenobi never does though - he stays patient and witty, and always takes Alpha’s opinions into account, and even adds to them in ways that Alpha had never expected of a Jedi. The times when he doesn’t agree with him, Kenobi always explains the reasons behind it, and Alpha doesn’t know why he’d been stuck with such useless shabuire when he could have had Kenobi the entire time. Kenobi is intelligent, and competent, and while he never lets Alpha have as much fun as he would have liked - and this usually includes just removing the beings annoying him through deadly force - he can be so vicious when he wants to be. He enjoys a fight, Alpha can see it by the grin on his face and the glint in his eyes whenever he throws himself into battle - he flourishes when he can pull out his jetii’kad and is stunning when there’s blood on his teeth. He speaks fluent Mando’a, has raised an adiik, and Alpha is Mando enough to admit that the copper haired Jetii had been the star of many of Alpha’s most pleasurable dreams. He’s Mandokar , and Alpha isn’t shy about the way he admires how his Jetii looks in armour.

Alpha-17 may hate the Jetiise, but Kenobi is different. He’s Alpha’s, and he’d follow the man to haran itself - not that he’d say as much out loud.

So of course that ends up being the case.

He follows Kenobi to Jabiim, to death and destruction and never-ending rain. When they start the campaign, they achieve victory after victory to report back to the Senate, but the Republic assault vehicles falter in the storms and get stuck in the mud, and those victories grow fewer and farther between until they’re nothing more than a pipe dream. None of them have had a proper sleep in days and rations are running short. Alpha himself is running on spite and stims alone as he helps Kenobi lead the assault to protect the Senate’s fucking mining intrests as the alliance with the Jabiimise rebels fracture. It’s not the Seps that take advantage of this, but Alpha actually wishes it was. It’s Dooku’s pet assassin that takes them, using the confusion and panic caused by an explosion to snatch both of them off the field and spirit them away to her own person dungeon.

Alpha finds himself strung up in a torture machine, muscles extended far past what they shoulder be and bulging under his torn, bruised skin. He doesn’t know how long he’s been here for or if the troopers survived the bombings, and he doesn’t know where his Jetii is. He knows that Ventress has him, because she mocks him with the fact while she tries to pry information out of him on the GAR and their garrisons - and while Alpha would be perfectly willing to hand over intel on the Senate and the bastards on it, that’s not what she’s after. She wants information that could lead to the deaths of his vod’ike, so Alpha holds his tongue and weathers the torture.

They continue this little song and dance for what seems like days, maybe even weeks - Alpha’s lost count - before something changes. Ventress decides to play their game differently. She has Alpha released from his restraints, and his over-abused muscles cramp immediately upon changing their position for the first time in how many days, sending him toppling to the blood-caked floor of his cell.

“Carry him if you must.” Ventress says in disgust, and Alpha snarls at her, limbs spasming. As much as he’d love to throw himself at her and beat that smug look off of her face, he can’t make his arms listen to him.

A droid catches each arm before he can even try to make his protesting limbs respond, twisting them behind his back and cuffing him before they haul him forward, carrying him out of the cell he had been occupying since he had first woken up after the explosion. He tries to get his feet under him, to walk on his own, but after being strung up like he had been and with his arms cuffed behind his back and shocking him at random intervals, he can’t get enough balance. He doesn’t make it easy for them, of course, spitting and snarling threats and digging his heels in, but it only makes Ventress laugh.

He finds himself being thrown into a completely different cell - literally - and without his arms available to catch himself with, he’s left to fall flat on his face in an ungraceful sprawl that, had he seen any of the brats land in during training, would have led to someone getting kicked across the sparring mats until they learned how to roll. The explosion of pain across the bridge of his nose warns of another break, and Alpha bites out another furious curse as he forces himself to his knees to look around his new environment.

Alpha stills, “General?”

For a moment, he thinks his Jetii is dead and that’s why Ventress had finally let him see the man, planning on leaving him with the body until he either talks or dies, but then Kenobi’s head lifts, and he mumbles something that sounds like Alpha’s name.

He’d been thrown into a cell with his Jedi, and - Ka’ra, Kenobi looks worse than Alpha feels. He’s not in a torture machine like Alpha had been, and is instead actually strung up, shackled to the broken pipe above his head. The pipe is far enough above him that the General is forced to balance on his toes or risk dislocating his shoulders. The rags that had once been distinctive Jedi robes hang off his ravaged body in bloodied strips, soaked by the water steadily dripping onto the skin of his back, turning it ashen and nearly blue from the chill. Worse of all is the skin-tight leather hood that had been pulled over the Jedi’s head, leaving only the blood-shot blue of his eyes visible.

Something about the thing makes Alpha’s skin crawl with unease and disgust, and makes his fury pound like a drumbeat in his ears. Kenobi looks small and breakable and defeated, and it ignites a blaze of choking hatred in his chest. He shouldn’t look like that, and Alpha will tear Ventress apart for daring to hurt one of his people.

But there’s still fire in his Jetii, Alpha can tell the moment their eyes meet. He can see thousands of plans of escape running through Kenobi’s head, and it makes him grin, sharp-toothed and bloodied.

[simptasia]

neurodivergence in abc’s lost

i’m gonna be listing off and talking about the canon neurodivergent characters in lost. i won’t be adding characters that i personally headcanon as neurodivergent in some way, what i’m writing here is elaboration upon what has been given to me by the show. please note that none of these people’s conditions or disorders were named in the show, so such diagnoses being named here are me taking that extra step based upon their symptoms

first of all i wanna point out that based on what i’ve seen the show, that the island’s healing powers applies to conditions inflicted upon the mind, not ones inherent to the mind. thats why daniel’s brain damage heals, but people like hurley and locke will always continue to have depression

hugo “hurley” reyes

schizophrenia and depression

our most prominently featured mentally ill character. it might seem bold to label him with schizophrenia when it’s never said that that’s what he has. but during his time on lost, he displays many of the symptoms: paranoia, pathological self loathing, delusions and hallucinations. now, it’s a fictionalized depiction of schizophrenia and that’s probably not even what the writers had in mind but it’s none the less a really, really good and respectful portrayal of it

it would take too long to list off all the times when hurley displays paranoia (heck, it’s easy not to notice how much its a part of his character) and self loathing. delusions? the situations regarding the numbers and his bad luck (canon never ever Proves what hurley believes to be true regarding that stuff)

they did an episode dedicated to hurley having hallucinations. a man named dave who drives him to self destructive behaviour, self hatred and attempted suicide. fun fact: when people with schizophrenia in real life have hallucinations, they tend towards just auditory. hurley gets visual as well as per Rule Of Drama. this is not a bad thing, just a narrative tool

(steering slightly into headcanon for a bit here but i personally ignore the dharma made Hurley Bird they revealed in the epilogue and just take hurley hearing that bird say his name as an auditory hallucination. for two reasons: one, hurley hearing/seeing things that don’t exist is already consistent with his mental state. and two, that bird literally, genuinely did not fucking say hurley)

extra notes

to be clear, in case there's confusion, hurley really does have magical powers. he can talk to dead people. that isn’t a delusion or hallucination. you can understand how confusing and distressing this must be for hurley

he's had a compulsive eating disorder since he was ten due to the pain of his father abandoning him. his struggle with this is well documented

at several points during the show he’s shown to have trouble spelling. he especially confuses his “y(s)” and “ies”. it’s not clear if this is due to poor education or a learning issue. or both, really. it’s safe to assume with him being poor, mexican and mentally ill, that school wasn’t easy for hurley

hurley has unjustifiably lived at mental health institutions on at least two occasions (the first time was against his will, second was volunteer)

john locke

depression

locke suffers from severe self esteem issues, and i know most lost characters do, but i mean to the point of irrational and destructive behaviour. he has an obsession with being deemed special in order to justify his existence. he also suffers jarring mood swings. (he can switch from calm and jovial to angry and defensive at the drop of a hat). when he was wheelchair bound, this threw him into a depression. when he failed to convince anybody to come back to the island, he attempted suicide. he would have gone thru with it too. he will go to extremes to make sure things stay the way he wants them to (killing an innocent woman so they can stay on the island, tying up and drugging boone so he won’t tell anybody about the hatch), and will fall into despair if he fails

also note that the things im saying about locke are not a comment on people with depression. i don’t think all depressed people kill and drug people. those were statements on locke’s character that i believe are a part of his mental state. my point is: he’s emotionally unstable and he tried to kill himself. and i think his extreme need for validation (from people and the universe in general) is especially concerning

to me, this all says to me that locke has clinical depression

locke isn’t as easy as the other people on this list to classify as Canon Neurodivergent but at least to me, i think it’s very obvious. like i feel bad being so vague but like, basically, watch any locke episode

daniel faraday

acquired brain damage, severe memory degradation as well as other neurodivergent behaviours (i’ll go into it)

he’s played by jeremy davies. enough said

okay, jokes aside. at some point in the past daniel and his assistant theresa were involved in some vaguely referred to time based experiments. while she was catatonicized, the accident left daniel severely brain damaged (also daniel spent years doing radioactive experiments without head protection, which would not have helped and indeed that is foreshadowing of this whole debacle)

apparently this left him in a state where he can no longer take care of himself, having been assigned a carer. his most outstanding symptom is that his ability to process short AND long term memory has been impaired

short term: he’s shown to have issues retaining memories from day to day. he wasn’t sure if he had met charles widmore already (he hadn’t). charles lays some exposition on him and when daniel asks why he’s telling him this, charles says, with sureness, that “because by tomorrow you won’t remember this”. counting on that to be an absolute fact seems silly to me but that does seem to the case. again, Rule Of Drama is in play here

long term: he can no longer access memories he formed many years ago, famously the memories he formed with desmond in 1996. all in all, this condition is highly plot convenient. can’t argue with results, really

no, i can keep going, i got more, this is daniel fucking faraday we’re talking about: his ability to remember 3 playing cards has been impaired (note that this is a skill most 4 year olds master), he forgot the secret code the science team were all taught and when he introduces himself to jack there is a long pause, in hindsight implying that daniel forgot his own name

like real life memory conditions, theres varying level to how much he does and doesn’t remember. he’s thankfully not in a 50 first dates situation and doesn’t forget everything day to day. clearly he remembers people if they’re around enough, like during his time on the boat. charlotte, miles, frank, naomi...

upon landing on the island, his memory slowly gets better (considering his condition beforehand, the fact that nobody comments on this is staggering)

when dan is fully healed? i could not say, i could theorize, but such things are nebulous. but still, the times we see dan without his brain damage, he still behaves like a neurodivergent person. just not like he was when he was brain damaged. he stims near constantly, has a tendency to repeat names and words (echolalia) and it’s shown that dan compulsively counts in his head. he counted up to 864 beats, if i remember correctly, which is about 10 minutes of counting in his head. by no stretch of the imagination is that neurotypical behaviour

(im not trying to sound defensive. and i don’t think anybody, anywhere, is arguing that daniel faraday is a neurotypical. unfathomable)

going into headcanon territory again, his ND traits, when not brain damaged, say to me that he’s autistic and/or has OCD and possibly anxiety. thats all theorizing on my part tho. but the fact of the matter is, damage or no, he’s neurodivergent

notes

his apparent need for tactile sensory input is legendary in the lost fandom. in layman’s terms: him pet pet. not just people but objects too. humans, overall, tend to touch things to process input better. many ND people do it more, and it seems daniel is a case of that (i am not making a solid statement on jeremy davies’ neuro state. that’s his business)

he shows an inability to properly process grief

he also shows shocking indifference to his own safety, resulting in reckless behaviour. how much of this is a result of his mental state or his upbringing is up for debate. i think it’s a combo of both

without his brain damage, he appears to have an eidetic memory

danielle rousseau

trauma induced mental illness

pretty self explanatory. the loss of her expedition, husband and daughter, as well as 16 years of loneliness (on THIS island) has resulted in emotional instability for danielle. she’s prone to paranoia, trust issues, irrational behaviour

she’s just not well. she’s right most of the time but she’s not well

libby smith

indeterminate mental state 

libby was institutionalized (the same place hurley was sent to) and placed on medication (which seemed like sedatives to me, based on her expressions). in the show it’s not what clear what put her there, but having just done some research, i’ve discovered that Word Of God says that libby became mentally unstable after the death of her husband dave smith. so this is probably another case of trauma induced mental illness. she must have had a pretty extreme episode to cause her to be sent to a place like that. something to think about

but alas, it’s libby, so not much info. moving on

benjamin linus

anti social behaviour disorder (is my best guess)

oof. depictions of mental illness with characters who are immoral are depictions of mental illness nonetheless. i feel almost silly saying this but: ben is not... okay

ben displays issues (at best) with empathy, compassion and morality. how much he cares about other people is highly debatable but one thing that's certain is that he does genuinely love his daughter. everybody else is ????

but the loving alex thing rules out him being a sociopath or having narcissistic personality disorder. and it is genuine because when he loses it with grief, it’s not a performance, because the only audience is us...

he’s a compulsive liar, lying even when it doesn’t benefit him. lying just because. ben is highly unpredictable, which isn’t inherently a neurodivergent thing, but when a person goes from a calm discussion to strangling somebody, all roads point to Uh Oh (i don’t know the technical terms for Uh Oh). many of his outward emotions are performed (the difference between his fake smiles and few real smiles is noticeable). he’s manipulative, he treats people like objects for his benefit/plans, he’s self absorbed, he has zero issues with murder unless it’s a child. he does have some moral standards. but overall, uh, [just gestures at ben]

also ben is repeatedly offended when other people don’t trust him, which is HILARIOUS, but also shows a cognitive dissonance on his part

hmm i need more here, im gonna break out the big guns

that’s some basic info there and doesn’t that line up with ben?

the article goes on to say that people with this can put on superficial charm. that is, behave friendly and “normal” when they have to. which ben is shown to be able to do

and this

“Serious problems with interpersonal relationships are often seen in those with the disorder. Attachments and emotional bonds are weak, and interpersonal relationships often revolve around the manipulation, exploitation, and abuse of others.”

reminds me of his situation with juliet. and locke. and his “friendships” in general

i snipped the wikipedia article for this because unlike the rest i felt,,, underequipped to talk about this sort of thing

ben being mentally unwell is clear enough in canon and i think this disorder is what lines up best with it. please note that ben is capable of change and growth (like people in real life who have such issues) and like the show i’m not gonna paint him 100% evil or irredeemable. i’m just saying what’s true

notes

ben says at one point that he doesn’t dream anymore. it’s highly probably that this is a lie, but if it isn’t, well that's not good. it’d mean his brain isn’t entering into REM sleep properly, which can lead to emotional problems

ben doesn’t blink as much as most people do, something michael emerson did on purpose. this can apply to some neurodivergent people

it’s shown that he was quite nonverbal as a kid. in the flashbacks in “man behind the curtain” little ben barely speaks

honourable mentions

pretty much all the survivors suffer from PTSD due the trauma of the crash

a great deal of the characters suffer from PTSD from trauma in general due to their awful lifes. like, abusive parents, war, loss of loved ones, etc

and i must note that ben, daniel and locke suffering from parental abuse, ranging from emotional to physical, is something to factor into their cases

claire, similar to danielle, also suffered trauma induced mental illness due to the loss of her baby and feeling like she was abandoned

sayid is depicted as dead inside during season 6 due to The Sickness, so thats like a magical form of depression. and one could argue that he already had regular depression beforehand

boone joked about shannon having bulimia. (whether or not it’s true, boone is an asshole) if it’s true, shannon has an eating disorder, which is considered a form of mental illness. espech one so self image based

self harm

self harm is not an inherent part of mental illness but such concepts are often linked so i felt i should mention some of these, it’ll be quick

hurley’s aforementioned eating disorder

charlie takes heroin as a form of self harm (that isn’t a theory on my part, it’s clear as day that charlie started taking it because his sense of self worth was so low that the drugs felt like the only option)

locke, hurley, (both as mentioned above), jack, desmond, michael and richard have all attempted/nearly commited suicide

so what can we conclude from this? well that's up to you, really. that i love lost a fuck ton? that the actors and writing in lost is amazing? that all the neurodivergent based depth got saved for the boys? yeah

but i wanna conclude with this: a part of what makes lost really special to me is that these people i’ve talked out here? they’ve suffered, and oh boy it was tasty suffering, but all of them, yes even libby, were more than suffering

these people have nuance. one way or another, these people (to varying degrees) were happy at times. silly. funny. angry. opinionated. they loved. they were loved. they lived and breathed as human beings. that means a lot to me

lost is a story of broken people given a second chance. take that as you will

thank you for your time

[chaotic-neutral-toga]

i’ve spent the entire time since my last post on this and holy fuck i want to fall into a coma

um okay i just thought up a zodiac based story plot thing and uyvbuhyb

okay so there’s this god-like thing but not exactly gods, i guess the “souls” of concepts, maybe?? so like those ones are infinite, not really but like they are, it’s confusing on purpose, but the zodiac are one of a kind each, Thing is they’re kinda destructive. Some do it because they can/want to, some do it because they don’t understand what’s wrong with it (they weren’t really ‘disciplined” or “taught”, so morality is kinda lost on them), and some are more kind, but still dangerous. In classic story fashion, they get sent down to the human world to become accustomed to morals, ethics, and just having a more grounded life. anyway characters

Pisces is autistic (yes im projecting a little) and destruction was the her way of stimming (other than snuggling in a hug with someone). When she gets to Earth, she does things that are “weird” to humans, since out of all of the zodiacs, she has the hardest time grasping the concept of the human world besides stuff she already knew(water and other stuff her sign rules). She’s fairly kind and compassionate, but has no tolerance for liars or anyone that gets on her bad side, which is a side even Aries sweats over. She likes puns (once they’re explained to her), and never understands innuendos or dirty jokes unless they’re really obvious. [Colors for her design: Mauve, Lilac, Violet, Sea Green. Closest Relationships: Virgo and Taurus. Human Name: Clementine.] Panromantic Demisexual

Aries is a bit reckless/destructive, to the point of idiotic sometimes, but he really does have the best intentions with most things he does. You can’t really blame someone for not knowing what they shouldn't do when they were never taught they had limits or boundaries that could be pushed. He can be bossy at times, but it’s usually because he knows his fellow Zodiacs well, and he can tell when they need someone to tell them what to do before they end up arguing over different ideas. Fire is the element he rules over, therefore it was one of the few human concepts he knew, so he took a quick liking to smores; it’s a sweet thing made over fire, what’s not to love? When he’s not riled up over something, he’s just a really passionate and affectionate friend. He identifies as an Androgynous Trigender, sometimes feeling like a boy, sometimes a girl, and sometimes agender, while preferring to use he/him pronouns. [Colors for his design: Red why the fuck does he only get 1 color wtf is this inequality. Closest Relationships: Libra and Leo. Human Name: Everett.] Aromantic Asexual(will kiss the homies uwu)

Taurus is pretty calm, but they can and will destroy you(verbally). They speak their mind and try their best to be honest, even if the truth is painful or undesirable. When dealing with problems, he keeps a straight face(facade or not), but lets his emotions out when it’s over (aka pouting as Cancer give them calming head pats). Because they’re one of the only ones who took to cooking (and one of the quickest to become relatively easily-adjusted to Earth), at times, they tend to be in a sort of parental role when interacting with the others. They can get frustrated with too much stress (aka more calming head pats), but they can usually work through it well enough. When it comes to love, he becomes flustered surprisingly easy, though this is technically hypothetical, as they haven’t encountered any romantic situations yet. Upon coming to Earth, Taurus discovered he’s allergic to reptiles, especially snakes, which makes his friendship with Scorpio, who will not give up his precious boop noodle, a bit rocky. He uses he/they pronouns. [Colors for his design: Green, Pink. Closest Relationships: Scorpio and Cancer. Human Name: Beau, pronounced Bo.] Gay

Gemini was probably the most optimistic of the bunch when they were first sent to Earth; she isn’t reckless, but she does live for the thrill. She has fun watching drama as long as it’s just harmless bickering, and she’ll stop any serious fights. She's a bit slow at reading the air sometimes, which is one of the few things that make her feel insecure. Even if she comes off as prideful or uncaring, she truly does treasure all her friends, and would move mountains for them. She is an ADHD Lesbian, so she has the awful pun of GA(Y)DHD. [Colors for her design: Light-Green, Yellow. Closest Relationships: Sagittarius and Aquarius. Human Name: Mikaela.] Lesbian

Virgo has a somewhat obvious crush on Pisces- not everyone knows, but it’s not rocket science for the observant ones- and Pisces thinks he’s just being a really great friend.(Virgo: I am stoic and distant and won’t open my heart to anyone. Pisces: Hi! Virgo: FUCK-). It’s easy for him to stress or obsess over something, and not give himself any room for imperfection. He’s one of the less outwardly destructive zodiacs, but internally, he tries to do too much and puts too much pressure on himself, which is never a good thing to do. Sometimes due to stress, he’ll isolate himself for a bit, but he gets very touch-starved very easily.. which makes it even more confusing how the snugly Pisces doesn't notice his feelings. [Colors for his design: Grey, Beige, Pale-Yellow. Closest Relationships: Pisces and Cancer. Human Name: Ezra.] get em boys, we found a Hetero

Libra is a quiet one, usually collecting information from afar before interjecting. He likes being helpful since he’s aware that he sometimes overthinks interaction. Asking him questions can be confusing, as he usually answers with simple “yes”’s and “no”’s. He enjoys reading fairytales; no real reason, he just likes them. He has Sensory Processing Disorder, which simultaneously makes him the dad and the baby of the group. [Colors for his design: Pink, Green. Closest Relationships: Aries and Sagittarius. Human Name: Libra, which is luckily an actual greek name.] Bi

Leo is a rowdy girl to say the least. She’s loves just horsing around with her friends, usually in the manner of play-fighting and tackle hugs. If you didn’t guess, she’s one of the more destructive Zodiacs, even on Earth. She denies ever doing things when confronted, though it doesn’t work most of the time (”Whaaat, I didn’t break that vase, that was Aries, right bro?” “Hey, don’t pin this on me!” “BRO-”). She is extremely loyal to the people she cares for, which could cross into naivety if she chose the wrong person as her friend. While she definitely isn't the motherly type, if one of her friends really needs to be comforted, she’ll sit them on her lap and stroke their head(she stronk owo). Though normally upbeat, she becomes somber in grim-looking situations, to the point of pessimistic. [Colors for her design: Gold, Yellow, Orange. Closest Relationships: Aquarius and Gemini. Human Name: Amaterasu.] Demiromantic Asexual

Scorpio has a pet boop noodle(baby ball python) that he almost stole before Taurus payed for it, which is when they discovered Taurus is allergic. They’re an overall cold and distant person, but they’re not completely shut-off; they just have a hard time warming up to people. Because of this, he holds grudges for a long time when his carefully-placed trust is betrayed. He seems to sometimes just appear and disappear during discussions with anyone noticing until he suddenly speaks up or they want to talk to him(spoiler alert: he’s just quiet). He’s very cute and peaceful when sleeping. [Colors for his design: Scarlet, Red, Rust. Closest Relationships: Taurus and Cancer. Human Name: Phoenix.] Arospike Aceflux

Cancer is very much a big sister to most, if not all, the Zodiacs. She has a caring air about her and can adjust to suit the boundaries of her friends. She herself is quite sensitive- though no one’s ever seen her like that- and she never wants her friends to feel that way. Besides that, she takes great interest in human pleasantries, such as sweet food, cameras, and lullabies. While she prefers to be the mediator during fights, if someone, say, insulted her friend and wouldn’t back off, she would lash back with a stone cold fury; the shock value alone gives her an advantage in those situations. [Colors for her design: White again with only one color wtf im adding my own, Pale-Orange, Various Yellows. Closest Relationships: Capricorn and Taurus. Human Name: June.] Questioning Asexual

Sagittarius is one of those aggressively positive people, saying what they want with no filter. They don’t take any shit from anyone, no matter who they are. She’s very free-spirited, but she’s not unguided; she knows what she wants and when she wants it. She’s never really hurt by anything, brushing and laughing things off almost immediately. She can get quite impatient, to the point of childishly whining. I’d bet 50 bucks that she was the first Zodiac to “discover” alcohol. [Colors for her design: Blue, Deep Purples, Browns. Closest Relationships: Gemini and Aries. Human Name: Nova.] Butch Grey-Aromantic Homosexual/Femmesexual

Aquarius is an analytical and selfless individual. They approach solutions to situations practically and objectively, even if their heart tells them otherwise. They keep their emotions bottled up most of the time, and if they’re doing something, there’s a high chance they’re doing it for someone else. Before, that was okay, since it was just the Zodiacs; but on Earth, it makes her a bit of a doormat. She’s one of the more morally-misguided Zodiacs, and she can’t really identify when something is criminal. She has a hard time remembering that she can’t say things like “human pleasantries” or call people insignificant compared to herself. They like being alone a lot, but they’re not antisocial. [Colors for her design: Light-Blue, Silver. Closest Relationships: Leo and Sagittarius. Human Name: Aqua no she did not try.] Aromantic Asexual(will not kiss the homies u~u)

Capricorn is pretty much “i’m surrounded by idiots”, but they’re his idiots and he knows he loves them. He doesn't look anything special, but he can and will throw you across the room if you fuck with him or his idiots, especially when he’s tired. He is peak sarcastic bitch and has pretty solid bullshit detector. If one of the Zodiacs is asleep where they shouldn’t be or they’re just leaving somewhere, he usually hoists them over his shoulder. He’s generally reserved but the Hug Pile™, or really extreme amounts of platonic affection in general, make him really soft; half because he’s surprised that they honestly care for him that much. [Colors for his design: Brown, Black, Grey, Yellow, Yellow-Orange. Closest Relationships: Taurus and Cancer. Human Name: Kai.] Aromantic Asexual(will be kissed by the homies owo)

holy fukcing shit is that it. am i finally fucking done. oh sweet jesus im crying this took me so fucking long

sorry if anyone was worried about me, i’m fine. Art, drabbles, and headcanons for this are allowed, but please link this post and/or tag me(or just send it in asks). i’ll try to be productive on this, tho itll probably be in the form of mini scenarios and incorrect quotes.

Here are the songs that kept me from kms while i made this: Lost One’s Weeping by Neru, Namine Ritsu-Error by kyaami, Yukune Ruko-I Don’t Wanna Know by Narcissus, Nakakapagpabagabag by Dasu, Madness of Duke Venomania Eng Sub by IkuSuperbia, v flower-Close to You by kyaami, My Nocturnal Serenade by YOHIO, Len’s Growl-Ghost Rule by Teto Chan!, Fukase English-Never Gonna Give You Up, Fukase English-Your Reality.

pls feed me validation on this i tried so hard my brain hurts

[emile-hides]

YouWatch

This is a conversation topic that came up playing Overwatch last night; What if the Overwatch cast all has YouTube channels?

And while we voiced our opinions and debated to eachother, I feel the need to share all of my own takes as well.

Now, there’s 32 of these assholes so I’ll put it under the cut. Cause it’s long

Ana

Her channel is called “Grandma reacts”

Her viewers send her videos or shows to react to

She likes to have Jack, Gabe, Rein, and Torb on sometimes for some of the funnier videos

Hates daredevil compilations of people on high places with no safety gear

She swears at jump scares

Ashe

Daily vlogs

She calls her viewers part of the gang

BOB is the camera man and the crowd favorite

She mostly just likes to chat about nothing while wandering around the hide out

BOB makes really cool time lapses of them riding her bike down Route 66

Baptiste

Runs an advice channel

Mostly does Q&A live streams 

All of his ad revenue goes to local charities and hospitals

People sometimes donate to him and that also goes to charity

There’s a very slim chance he got overnight famous because he’s so pretty

Bastion

One 12 minute video of him playing with Ganymede in Torbjorn’s backyard

Torbjorn recorded it for him

Brigitte

Tried to do a make-up channel

Eventually devolved into a “How to” builder’s channel

Can put together an Ikea bookshelf in 15 minutes without even glancing at the instructions

Ikea furniture speed runs are her most popular videos

D.Va

Canonically already has a gaming channel

Also has a daily vlog channel where she hangs out with Lucio and Junkrat a lot

Takes requests on what games she plays

Despite mainly being an online PvP gamer, she adores playing story games and voice acting

She cried on live stream when she finished Undertale

Doomfist

Runs Talon’s official YouTube channel

All the videos are join Talon adds

Echo

Her channel is a mash

Will play or do any kind of video that’s popular at the moment

There’s three episodes of a Minecraft LP left to die

Seven vlogs all recorded almost 3 months apart

Two animations she made herself

A couple of reaction videos

And a Pachimari unboxing

She has a lot of sponsors

Genji

Also, canonically, has a gaming channel

Sometimes does videos of sick ninja tricks in his backyard

Has the same channel from before his fight with Hanzo, so there’s a 4-5 year gap between two videos

“So my brother tried to kill me” is the first video he makes when he finally comes back

Occasionally makes “Master reacts to (anime)” videos with Zenyatta

Hanzo

The show off channel

It’s mostly just target practice with his bow and arrow Genji recorded for him

90% of his comments are telling him to put a shirt on and cover the nipple

His channel also went dead after he killed Genji

Might start recording and uploaded unscheduled vlogs during his hobo days

Also does movie reviews

Junkrat

If I may defer your attention to this post

Yeah he just runs a demolition channel

Roadhog makes sure the camera doesn’t get damaged

Junkrat really loves the slow motion effect 

Lucio

Like Hana, he has two channels

One is his official music channel with music videos and concert clips

The other is also a vlog channel where he hangs out with Hana and Jamie

He’ll also talk about serious issues and his opinions on them on his second channel

McCree

Much like Hanzo, runs a show off channel

His is more popular because he’s straight up a cowboy though

People think it’s a gimmick for the channel. They have no idea he looks and sounds like that all the time

Mei

Has a scientific fact of the day Podcast with Winston

Talks about big issues

Her channel is very kid friendly and she explains things like global warming in a way they can understand

A lot of her videos will be watched by kids in science class

Mercy

“What to do encase of an emergency” tutorial videos

Gives basic medical training, like how to do CPR

Her videos are short and to the point so they can be played in an actual emergency

Genji is usually the person she uses as an example

Moira

Her channel is like Junkrat’s but more contained(?)

She does dangerous shit with chemicals but somehow it always ends wholesomly

The last minute of the video she speaks in a soothing Bob Ross voice as the lab is on fire behind her

The videos typically end with Angella coming back from her break

Orisa

It’s technically Efi’s channel

It’s a vlog to record Orisa’s progress tword becoming Numbani’s protector

Very popular, everyone loves how wholesome Orisa is

The money from the ads goes to fixing whatever Orisa breaks while trying to be helpful

All rude comments are deleted

Pharah

Show off channel

“99 dunks in a row” and such types of videos

They’re typically sped up with relaxing music

Lucio has appeared to play soccer with her a few times

Reaper

As Gabriel Reyes he ran a prank channel around the Overwatch base

He didn’t do any pranks that hurt or scared people though

Just recorded himself eating vanilla pudding out of a mayo jar to get people’s reactions

His favorite people to prank were Jesse and Genji because they had the most over the top reactions

Reinhardt is unprankable

The channel died with the fall of Overwatch

Reinhardt

Advice channel but louder than Baptiste

He’s full of energy in every one of his videos

Calls himself his viewer’s Grandpa

If anyone comes to him for advice on how to handle abuse of any kind he will adopt them on the spot

Also does meme reactions, sometimes has to have Brigitte explain what makes it funny

Has one video where he speaks quietly called “Grandpa reads a bedtime story” and it’s literally just him reading a bedtime story with soft music in the background

Roadhog

Toy unboxings

All of his videos are silent aside from the cute music he puts of them

The only part of him that’s ever on camera are his hands

Sigma

All his videos devolve into rambles about the universe

Other than that his channel doesn’t have a real theme

He tries to explain scientific principals but quickly turns into a shouting mess about the universe and gravity

Moira is the one to stop recording in the middle of his breakdowns

Soldier 76

Use to run a tutorial channel

Gabe called it “Dad Teaches you” and Jack hates that he’s not your father

He teaches you to cook basic meals and do simple repairs on a car

He talks in a very fatherly voice

Begrudgingly, he became his veiwers father

His channel died with Overwatch as well

Sombra

Gaming channel, but hacked

Does glitched speedruns on live stream

Clickbait thumbnails and titles

“How to get 1,000,000,000 free V-Bucks in Fortnite”

Steals kid’s Fortnite accounts

Symmetra

Stim channel

All of her videos focus on satisfying visuals

Someone asked her to do ASMR once and she hated it. The video existed for less than 24 hours

Torbjorn

Like Brigitte, runs a builder channel

It also doubles as a story time channel as he tends to ramble about the good old days

All his videos are 30+ minutes long

Somehow adds “and that’s how I lost my eye” to every story so no one knows how it actually happened

Bastion guest appears in a lot or Torb’s videos but only because he’s bored and wants attention

Tracer

Animated story telling

Makes animations of their missions and her day-to-day life

Thanks to her chronal accelerator animations take half as long

Still only uploads like two videos a month

Widowmaker

Food review videos

Hates everything, nothing gets high marks

Gets view ship cause she’s hot and very snarky

Winston

His channel is exactly like Mei’s

It’s more popular though because he’s a monkey and thus draws kid’s attention better

All of his viewers are elementary school science teachers and their class

Wrecking Ball

Tried to do a builder channel but all the comments were on how cute he is

Hates being called cute so he made his mech say swear words

He’s very popular with little boys

Also loves destruction and may destroy things for fun

“5000lbs wrecking ball VS Junkrat’s house”

Zarya

Vlogs but like... Work out vlogs.

It’s just time lapses of her at the gym

Insanely popular with lesbians for very obvious reasons

Encourages her viewers to take care of themselves and start slow

Blew a kiss at the camera once, became the most used image of her on the internet

Zenyatta

Most of his videos are relaxing music over beautiful visuals he recorded

The other half of his videos are meditation leadings and yoga

He’s also done videos on the omnic crisis and talked in length on his belief for the future

Has one video of him pranking Genji

[omnipah]

So. @campanulaflora asked if I had any more thoughts about nd wei ying and. I super do, I’ve just been less vocal about them because my thoughts are. less focused? And part of that is that I’m less familiar with the dx criteria of his conditions (or the ones I read him as having), even tho they’re things I also have, but part of it is also just that I see him as having multiple neurodivergencies that aren’t necessarily related, which makes it complicated.

(Disclaimer, this is maybe gonna be a less Fun analysis cus I’m gonna be talking about The Trauma, so proceed with awareness, if not caution)

Like, with lan zhan, u could make a case that he also has ptsd, or social anxiety, or any number of other things, but those all jive very much with his autism in a way that makes it easy to talk about all as one big picture. e.g social anxiety is a very natural, and common, thing to develop in autistics in any situation, because we get used to being misinterpreted, or told we’re communicating ‘wrong’, or told we’re rude, or boring, or too nerdy, so we learn to fear those interactions and approach with caution, and that in itself is also a trauma. And like, the kinds of other traumas lwj has, tho not necessarily related to his autism, interact with it very directly, like how he was always the ‘favourite student’ because he was quiet and was easily led into black-and-white thinking, but then later had to deal with the repercussions of realising that there’s no ‘teacher’ to ‘please’ in real life and that things are more complicated that he’d been allowed to consider; similarly with losing his mother, part of the grief there seems to me to be about losing one of the very few people who genuinely liked spending time with him and wanted to understand him.

Whereas, while wei ying obviously has similar traumas to do with his adhd, like how he was always the ‘least favourite student’ because he found it hard to focus, especially without fidgeting, which was probably not allowed, he has some other traumas which are more or less unrelated, but which interact with his pre-existing neurodivergency in a complex way. Like, his traumas from when he was homeless are, at their root, unrelated to him having adhd, but also the way his ptsd presents is probably very much affected by the fact that he also has adhd, and the same can be said of when he gets super depressed in the burial mounds because of the conflict between the grief of losing his former life, vs the absolute certainty that he has to help the wens, because the alternative is unthinkable.

So my thoughts on just his adhd are pretty generic. Like, his nose-touching stim is a textbook thing to keep himself focused, while also possibly having positive associations that make him feel happy/safe because of how yanli always boops him on the nose (because she’s wonderful). There’s also the stuff about having memory problems, which he mentions a whole lot, and the stuff about how he Cannot Sit Right Ever, which is also a stim. And the fact that he’s so bored and unfocused in his lessons, which we know are lessons he’s already learned, even tho later he becomes an inventor, because of that adhd thing of only being able to focus on something he personally thinks is interesting, so instead in school he focuses on lan zhan as a potential friend, kind of as a puzzle to solve, and also as someone he feels challenges him intellectually. Also, I’m not sure it’s ever canon, but his sleep schedule is definitely a nebulous and unfocused thing – we do see some of that when he’s researching about jc’s golden core, but again that’s the thing of how hyperfixation trumps literally everything, even basic need to eat or sleep.

But a lot of those things are things that could also be chalked up to ptsd or depression, or which are very much exacerbated by overlap in symptoms – the memory problems are a super obvious example, especially when we also know he has stress nightmares and his phobia of dogs. But also the way his hyperfixations are almost always related to his morality, either in getting revenge against wen chao and co, or in how he can make life better for jc or the wen remnants, because u could make a case that that’s just what he personally finds interesting and that’s because he’s a good person, but also it very much interacts with the way he was brought up to put himself second to ‘earn’ his parents’ conditional love.

Then there’s also, springing from that, the question of RSD vs depression/low self esteem. Cus on the whole, wei ying is impressively comfortable with being rejected by literally everyone for the sake of helping a few people in need, at least on the level that he says he’s never regretted it. And he doesn’t really seem to care about being judged by lqr, which is correct because lqr has bad opinions, but it’s still impressive. But when it comes to more personal stuff, like if he thinks he’s being rejected by lwj or jc, he gets a lot more emotional and sometimes self-destructive, which super smacks of RSD. But then those reactions are very similar to his other emotional outbursts or episodes, like how the trauma of his first stay in the burial mounds prompts him to push people away, or how he gets lonely and demotivated when living there with the wens.

Tl;dr he’s complicated and I love him a whole lot, but I’m not sure I have well-defined thoughts on him. Do feel free to weigh in if u have anything to add tho!!

[brokenjardaantech]

captain allen appreciation week 2020 day 3: coffee

summary: three times allen, coffee hater, is offered coffee, one time he drinks coffee, and one time he offers coffee.

notes: 

mass effect: andromeda au. connor is the human pathfinder. hank is his second. 60 is called clement here and is a member of the team. allen is an exile they recruited.

----

‘Coffee, Lou?’

No one has called him that for so long that it takes Allen a few seconds to realize that Clement is talking to him. Looking up from the pistol he is cleaning - a nice Carnifex that Hank and Connor, for some reason, bought but never used - he sees that the younger Ryder is holding a steaming cup in his hands carefully.

‘There’s only one cup,’ Allen says, dumbfounded. The lack of resources allows the Pathfinder team a lot of liberties and neither the Pathfinder nor his second are picky about the people on their team, but someone who is supposedly working for the Nexus being friendly to him… he’s still getting used to it.

‘I realized that you have not had the pleasure to have my mother’s coffee,’ Clement explains, ‘so I made one for you. It’s made from real beans.’

‘You went all the way back to the Hyperion,’ Allen stares. Hard. Should it make sense? ‘To make me coffee. While there’s a coffee maker right next door.’ He gestures at the door.

A shrug. ‘Why not? Connor and Hank won’t be back for a few more hours at least. I have time and...’ he averts his gaze and...is that a blush? ‘I want to share this with you. It has always been a great source of comfort for me.’

‘Comfort, huh?’ Allen wonders, pondering how to reject the man politely. He never likes coffee that much, the drink too bitter for his taste and the caffeine making his heart race and making him feel like he’s going to have a heart attack for hours, but what - or who - he does like is Clement. Dreamy, easily-distracted Clement who probably just wants to share his deceased mother’s coffee with his new friend (are they even friends?) when his brother and not-quite brother-in-law are out there being the heroes of the cluster by dealing with bureaucrats. ‘Why don’t you make one for yourself?’

‘I… I don’t want to waste good coffee.’

Clement looks so unsure now that Allen wants to stand up to hug him. ‘You drink it,’ the former exile tells him. ‘I don’t like coffee anyways.’

Clement visibly relaxes. Taking a sip of Actual Milky Way Bean Juice, he asks, ‘Can I watch you?’

The question comes so suddenly that Allen’s brain fails to deliver anything. ‘Uh…’ he indicates the disassembled pistol and the assorted mods scattered around the triangular table. ‘If you want to see me piece all this back together, sure. Go ahead.’

The other man slides smoothly onto the couch and sits close to Allen, the smell of coffee assaulting him and nearly making him sneeze. At this proximity, he can feel the heat radiating off Clement, and when he reaches for the parts he placed far away, he discovers that he can’t do so without pressing against the younger Ryder twin. 

Clement doesn’t move away. Neither does Allen ask him to.

----

‘Coffee, Lou?’

‘They have coffee?’

Allen is exhausted from the fight against - what’s that called again? Ah - the Architect. Sure, he grew up in the middle of nowhere in Alaska, but fighting a robot as tall as a building in a -50ºC cold is not fun at all. My scientists went missing his ass. That damned thing was a nightmare and caught them unaware, and he hopes that he’ll never have to deal with one again. It took four of them - Connor, Hank, Clement, and Allen himself - half an hour to take down that thing.

And of course the Initiative wants a fucking report.

‘Yes,’ says Clement from his seat next to Allen. ‘Coffee is considered an essential substance for every Initiative outpost. Taerve Uni possesses an abundant supply.’

No matter how much Allan blinks, the blur of the words doesn’t fade away. ‘Don’t like coffee.’ 

‘But it looks like you need some.’

‘I don’t -’ His jaw cracks open in another yawn. OK. Maybe he isn’t as awake as he thinks he is. ‘Stil no fucking coffee for me, though.’

‘Understood.’

Allen puts the datapad aside and takes a good look at Clement, noting his drooping eyelids and the way his eyes are unfocused. Someone is as tired as him. 

‘Where’s your brother?’ Allen asks when he notices the absence of the Pathfinder and his second-in-command. 

‘On the Tempest.’

The former exile very nearly cracks his head open on the table. ‘Did you just watch me work my ass off and decided not to tell me that our bosses are fucking resting?’

Clement looks taken aback. ‘I thought - I don’t wish to interrupt you.’

Allen sighs. ‘Listen, I - I appreciate that,’ he says as he digs a knuckle into his eye, ‘but you don’t have to follow me around. You can go back first. I see you’re tired.’

‘But I want to spend more time with you!’

The silence ensured is thick enough to be cut through with an omni-blade. Clement, as if just realizing what he said, blushes a very lovely shade of pink before putting his face in his hands. 

It is adorable.

Allen chuckles. ‘Look at me, Clement.’

The twin peers at him through the gaps between his fingers. Chuckling, the older man removes Clement’s hands from his face, and he laces their fingers together instead of letting go. Clement goes impossibly redder.

‘I want to spend more time with you too,’ Allen says. Stumbling for words, he adds, ‘I like you. A lot.’ Fuck. He’s so out of practice. ‘I think,’ he leans closer so that they’re breathing the same air, ‘getting together will be a great idea.’

A small, whispered ‘Yes!’ from Clement, and the next moment they are kissing; just a gentle press of their lips, Allen’s hands flying to the back of Clement’s head while Clement traces Allen’s cheekbone, and they’re grinning at each other like idiots when they part for air. 

‘Should we go back?’ Allen suggests, his voice low. Clement shivers. ‘Crew’s quarters should be empty at this time. We can watch a vid. Hoard all the blankets and cuddle underneath them.’

Clement kisses him again.

‘I’ll take that as a yes.’

----

‘Coffee, Lou?’

‘Don’t like coffee.’

‘I know. However, seeing that you’re not planning to go to sleep, you’ll need something to keep you up.’

‘As if this is not enough?’ Allen waves his datapad. ‘A space station as large as a metropolis? The angara - created? The Scourge - a weapon of mass destruction? How -’ realizing that his voice is raising, he takes a deep breath to calm down - ‘How can you be so calm about this?’

Clement blinks, his face devoid of any expression. ‘Calm, or numb?’ 

Allen feels like an idiot. ‘Clement, I’m so sorry.’

‘It’s alright,’ says the other man gently. Sliding into Allen’s lap, Clement wraps his arms around the older man’s waist and hooks his chin on his shoulder. ‘You’re not the only one who’s shocked.’

‘I keep telling myself that if I know more about the network, I’ll be less terrified of it.’ A sigh. ‘Evidently, it only makes things worse. Now I’m not even sure if I want to stay in Heleus.’

‘There’s no me outside of Heleus.’

Allen hums. ‘You’re right,’ he kisses Clement’s temple. ‘Stay with me?’

‘Go sleep with me. Connor will want you at peak condition.’

Ah yes. The classic ‘blame everything on my brother’ excuse. ‘Of course.’

He switches off the datapad and promptly picks Clement up with his arms supporting his thighs. Clement shrieks in surprise and wraps his legs around Allen’s waist, cheeks turning pink and giggling uncontrollably even after Allen carefully deposits him onto the lower bunk farther away from the bathroom, the one they have been sharing for the past couple of months as they sail around the cluster and fix everyone’s mess. It is small and low, made for one average-sized person, but they make do by having Clement sleep with half his body on top of Allen. Or having Allen crush Clement underneath him with his bulk, which has become their preferred position to sleep in. They get to stay close to each other, so although cramped, they won’t have it any other way.

Allen presses a kiss onto the nape of Clement’s neck. ‘Night.’

‘Night, Lou.’

----

Allen loses track of how long he’s been sitting there simply looking at Clement. 

They have Meridian. They have the coordinates. They have a fleet of Remnant ships. They’re supposed to make for a final push towards the heart of the network. They’re supposed to, at fucking last, make Heleus their new home. 

Not the Archon taking the Hyperion. Not SAM being disconnected from the Ryder twins. Not Connor scrambling his brains to try to summon even more Remnant to help fight the kett. 

Not Clement nearly dying because he apparently needs SAM to survive. 

The med bay door opens and Hank steps in, looking like he’s just aged ten years, his eyes cold and harsh like Alaskan winters.

But his tone is warm when he asks Allen, ‘How’s he?’

Allen holds Clement’s hand to ground himself. ‘Bad. If we don’t retake SAM soon… Heleus will have a lot less kett by the time I’m done. How’s Connor?’

‘He’s gotten used to SAM boosting his physiology, so the crash is a bitch. But he’ll live. He’s just sleeping it away. And, uh,’ a shrug, ‘don’t suppose you have contacts with some of the exiles?’

‘Not much,’ Allen says. ‘I didn’t exactly play with the folks from Kadara or Elaaden.’

‘“Not much”? So you do have contacts?’

‘Believe it or not, quite a number of people left for Eos and started their own governments there.’ At Hank’s skeptical eyebrow, he continues, ‘Most of them owe me their lives. I can try to contact them, but seeing that they live in caves, I doubt many of them are space-worthy.’

‘There’s no harm in trying,’ says the N7. ‘If they can’t go to Meridian, they can at least defend Prodromos while most of their personnel are gone.’

Allen nods in understanding, and Hank leaves to presumably return to Connor’s side. As the door to Pathfinder’s Quarters closes, he lets go very reluctantly and goes to the crew quarters to make himself a cup of coffee. Sure, stim packs might have worked better than caffeine, but he doesn’t know how long it will be until everyone’s ready to launch an assault against the Archon, and he cannot afford the crash after the effects of the stim pack is worn off; coffee, no matter how bad it tastes, is the best option he has.

If only Clement can see this.

----

‘Coffee, Clement?’

Clement looks into the most beautiful green eyes he’s ever seen when he wakes up. The smell of coffee - not the shitty ones on the Tempest but the ones from his mother’s coffee maker - fills the air, and when he receives the sweetest of kisses from his boyfriend, he knows that they’ve won.

[acrobaticcatfeline]

Unstable (A Fe Sides Fic)

Word Count: 2171

TW: It’s another vent fic babyyy swearing, yelling, insults, threats (sort of), an excess of anxiety, there’s an intrusive thought from one of them about jumping off of a building but its one line that she gets scolded for. I think that’s it but if there’s more let me know!

Notes: I had a really rough week last week and now that I’m done with school I have time to write fun things again and I needed a vent. It also is part of rebuilding my personal mind palace! I plan on making more with these guys, they are really easy to write honestly, it was like an out of body experience.

Pairings: Lol nope, not even a little bit no.

Summary: The mind palace was usually quiet. The facets did not all get along, and everyone is high strung during Quaranfinals. Someone needs to step in and get this train moving again.

The mind palace was usually rather quiet. All facets left each other alone for the most part, hoping to stay functional and avoid unnecessary fusions but the last few weeks had been out of the norm. Inge was high strung as ever and was snapping at the smallest inconveniences and that wasn’t even addressing the others.

“Listen here you unstable mother fucker! We don't have time for your whiny depressed bullshit right now! She has two huge finals and your fucking cahoots with Barbie is the opposite of helpful! She needs to WORK and you guys are actively working against that! Don't either of you care about her future?!”

“How about you shut your trap for 5 seconds and drop your high and mighty act? The only reason me and Izzy have been working against you is because you have been failing at your job ever since this quarantine started. If you actually did your fucking job maybe me and Iz wouldn’t be falling down a hole ourselves. For someone who needs to have so much control all the time it's surprising how little you’re ever able to keep. You act like you're the ringleader around here when it's obviously Izzy and Lia. I may not like Lia but at least she can work with me. You on the other hand-”

Lia and Isadora were nervous. They were onlookers in the argument and couldn't get a word in edgewise to stop them. Izzy was trying to hide in her Roman Sanders sweater and Lia was hidden in her hoodie that was too big on her, biting her thumb as her eyes darted everywhere but the fight. In the real world Fe was closing her laptop with a sigh, desperate to go and take a nap. She looked quickly to Izzy with all she had to say, communicated in the glance. Suddenly the palace shook and Inge snapped her head at Lia who was very interested at her chewed up Crocs and not the anger filled gazes directed at her.

“LIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“She's too stressed. If you keep at this you're gonna wake up T and that wont help you in getting her to do her work. If T gets up right now she's gonna fail and we all know it. Let Izzy calm her down for a bit. See, she's only taking a half an hour long nap, like her dad told her to. We all just need to chill for a bit.”

Lia was scratching at her face and Inge finally let the anger and annoyance leave her. She gently swatted at Lia’s hand, placing a quickly conjured sheet of bubble wrap in it. Lia smiled at the floor, still not meeting her eyes, vaguely worried at the signs of T waking up, hoping beyond hope that she was just still channeling the hyperactivity that Fe was plagued with. Izzy was meanwhile glassy eyed, placing herself on the floor blindly, waving her hands about in a way that all three recognized as her weaving a dream. It was wonderful to watch, extremely relaxing to see her go off on an adventure of her own design. It was almost meditative to watch her methodical movements, the simple twists of her wrists as she moved the story along. Lia busied herself with popping the bubbles, as Carli and Inge both left to busy themselves in their own wings of the palace. Lia sat across from Isadora, glancing up at her every once in a while. She muttered quietly to herself and maybe Izzy as well.

“She's waking up. I don't know what we’re gonna do, we really gotta get Fe through this last week, but Isa will stop us, I know she will, but how are we supposed to still get things done”

“We’ll figure it out”

Lia’s head snapped up at Izzy whose eyes were still unseeing as she spoke.

“Talisa works with us. We just need to convince her to use her strengths to support us in this. I know she can. Besides, dreams are so much more fun with her around. Who knows, maybe daydream mode will help her write her essay”

Lia smiled softly as she felt comfortable enough to look Izzy in the eyes that couldn't see her. She nodded and went back to her bubble wrap, far more content with the slow draining of anxiety from her body. At least until the palace shook again.

“AAAAAH!!! Well what a wonderful time to be alive eh? Heh, that's a joke, gods, she's asleep and she's still exuding panic like no one's business!”

Out of a darkened corridor walks Talisa in all her glory and self deprecation. There was yet another shake as Fe awoke. Isadora’s eyes cleared in an instant as she rose to her feet.

“Oh boy, Pops woke her up? Ooooh that's not great. I'm sure she's gonna be off all day huh Iz? Oh that's just fuel for this, gosh what have I missed?”

“Quarantine you lucky bitch”

Izzy walks to her with a cocky grin and does a simple handshake with the crazy eyed side. Talisa’s eyes glance around the room. She grins wider, scratching at her scalp.

“All this panic and mania and I wasn't invited? I feel like I should be insulted!”

Lia rose as well, abandoning the bubble wrap as the need to stim left her, and walked over. She smiled small and avoided her face.

“She's got homework. Its, it's all homework now, everything's homework. I haven't been helpful much, but I knew you would probably make it all harder for her, I've been enough of a hindrance for her, I imagined she probably wouldn't do well being overly mentally compromised AND lazy as all get out”

“Oh Lia! I'm wounded! I'm not all bad! Plus-”

There was a sudden shift of the palace again as Fe sat down and started furiously writing her essay, anxiety as her fuel, aided by a giant cup of soda from the gas station.

“A little blood pumping’s good for the brain, ain't it? She just needs a little push! Maybe off of a building eh? Sounds like a ball!”

“Yo, you've been up for less than 5 minutes, stop with that shit, give her a week maybe? So we can properly talk her down?”

“Oh fine, I guess my premium service can wait to activate!”

Her hands moved from her scalp to her arms, scratching without conviction. Isadora softly took her hand off, stopping the scratching and handing her a fidget cube to replace the destructive stim.

“Ohhhh! This is neato mojito Dora!!! Where'd you think this un up? It's pretty! It's my colors too! Ain't that sweeter than molasses! Why I've been so rude, how've you been doing Dora? And you Lia?”

The two smiled. They genuinely liked her, she was nice to be around, while she had her problems, she didn't get mean and angry like Inge and Carli do. She was just… manic. A little odd, maybe crazy, but she wasn’t mean. She didn't yell, and it calmed the two. And they got along well anyways, Lia because she often was a placeholder for her when Fe wasn’t extra out of it and knew how to deal with her quirks, and Dora because divergence fed her like nothing else, made her imagination run wild.

“Whoo! Well ladies, looks like I've got my work cut out for me eh? She invited that boy over last week and that was the first time she saw him in weeks? Oh and her other school friend left her group chat? Yikes, she's a right mess!”

“Yup. she… hasn't been adjusting well to all of this well”

“I’ll say!”

Talisa fidgeted absently with the cube in her hand as she walked around the palace commons, looking around at the scenery. The walls, usually a light lavender were dark violet and the paint was peeling in spots, revealing a gooey black underside. The TV was stuck on a looping image of the most recent Sanders Sides episode. She grinned wide enough to look uncanny, bending her back to crack her spine, almost splitting in half and did a spin as she rose again. She interlocked her fingers and cracked the lot of them and twisted her neck to pop that as well. 

“What are you about to do?”

“Why, what I do best dear Lia!”

She jumped in the air snapping her fingers twice. Her appearance changed, her extraordinarily unruly hair was tied back in a ponytail, tucked through the hole in the back of her baseball cap with the Slytherin logo across the front of it. Her shirt that had been well worn from being worried between her fingers as well as used as pajamas, changed to a tangent hoodie, her shorts with frayed strings switched to a flower patterned pair of leggings, and a skateboard appeared under her feet. She spun around on the board with her wild smile never leaving her face.

“WE’RE ON THE HIGHWAY TO HYPERFOCUS BABES!!! And a little smidge of depression but hey it’ll add to its effectiveness”

It was then that Inge and Carli came running and screamed simultaneously.

“LIA YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP HER ASLEEP!!!”

“Couldn't you for once just do something that was helpful for Fe?”

Talisa stopped in mid spin, turning slowly to look at Carli and Inge. She was no longer smiling. She was glaring and she stepped off of her board and took slow methodical steps towards the two.

“Now now girls, there's no need to scream!”

She was completely in Inge’s face when she said her next words.

“Isn't that right brainiac?”

Inge nodded instantly, fear filling her instantly. Talisa then turned to Carli and grabbed her by the collar of her dress. She glared hard into her eyes and began to grin as Carli’s eyes filled with panic and she avoided her gaze.

“And just for your information, Lia is more helpful than you could ever hope to be, you coward. For someone whose supposed to be confidence you’d think you might be able to share some of that with our host instead of sitting in your room at 3 in the morning and crying into Ramen over the fact that she still isn't in a relationship”

She released Carli, who fell to the ground and scrambled as far away from her as possible and sobbed quietly in the corner she curled up in. and then a moment later, her entire demeanor changed and she smiled happily.

“Oh hi there gals! I was just starting to get Fe to get working!”

Inge blinked owlishly. Her head tilted, as if the whole interaction before held no merit over what Talisa had just said.

“What? But I thought?”

She walked to the TV screen, changing the screen to be a first person view of Fe working away on her essay. Inge made a noise of confusion as she looked back at Talisa yet again.

“But, but you’re a hindrance! You, you make her life a living hell, how is she still doing her work?”

“You know what I do right? Like, you know what my job is? Come on pinky and the pain, I do ADHD yeah, but I also do anxiety and depression. If she doesn't get this stuff done she’ll fail, doncha think that'd drive her to be anxious enough to get it done? If she doesn't she’ll be depressed as all hell, there's no chance she can do law school if she can't even pass an English course. And the bonus of ADHD is that sticky hyperfocus! She’ll be done with that essay before Thursday, and that test for math?”

The palace shook again as the TV showed her turning in her math test. Talisa grinned.

“I’d say it was a walk in the park, wouldn't you? But you know, on an unrelated note, we should really fix that shaking affect, makes me dizzy”

Inge stared in shock and Carli did the same. Talisa stuffed her hands into her front pocket on her jacket and went over to the beanbag across from the TV and plopped down onto it. She pulled her right hand out and chewed on her thumb as she watched the screen. Her job was done for the moment so she let herself relax as she felt the others do the same. Inge rushed back to her room to help aid Fe with the memories needed for writing her essay, but the others placed themselves somewhere in the common room. Carli sat on her love seat and watched the screen intently. Izzy fell asleep quickly, not being needed for the moment, same for Lia, the both of them curling up with Talisa. She let her left hand leave her pocket to pat Lia's head. The only noise was coming from the soft snoring of the sleeping sides and the TV projecting the real world. Finally, finally, the mind palace was quiet again.

Taglist: @fivebyfive-finebyfive @tacohippy56900 @analogical-mess @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @angels-and-dreams @fandomloverangel

Let me know if you want to be tagged in my writing or taken off my list!

Thank you for reading I will see you later ladies lords and nonbinary royalty!

[sammisafetypin]

🏳️‍🌈 for outlast and 💎 for pokemon for the hyperfixation meme? 👀

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?: i could probably go for about a million yearz abt all my different headcanonz , buuuut i think a big one tht im super attached to is waylon being autistic ! computers are one of his special interests and he knows just about every weird obscure computer virus on teh face of teh earth . he’z not very good at emoting with his face ( even less so after mount massive but thts more of a brain damage thing than anything ) . stims included pressing his face/hands against anything soft , tapping Constantly , rocking , and in teh more destructive realm , scratching things . miles (also autistic for th record) has jokingly threatened to put those little booties you put on cats on him so he won’t scratch himself . he rambles a Lot without realizing he’z doing it which is . also what ive done here . 

tl;dr: its MY special interest and MY comfort character and I GET TO CHOOSE TH PROJECTION 

💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?: 

oh dere is SO MUCH trivia i’d love to share abt pokemon !!! 8 generationz , dere’z a TON to talk abt . so here r just a few tht come to my mind !!

- in gen 1 , movez that did a set amount of damage would hit Any type regardless of whether dey were actually supposed to or not . stuff liek bide and sonicboom would hit ghost typez , and night shade would hit normal typez . im not a programmer but i’d guess that when programming teh moves to ignore type advantage/disadvantage , dey forgot that that also caused teh moves to bypass an immunity check . 

- tragically , flareon is no longer teh only fully-evolved fire-type pokemon that cannot learn solarbeam . it now has to share its fame with incineroar , baile oricorio , salazzle , blacephalon , and cinderace . which , also , makes turtonator teh only fully-evolved fire type in gen 7 to be able to learn solarbeam . not sure what gen 7 had against solarbeam on fire types . 

- dere is no longer any type combination capable of having No weaknesses thankz to teh addition of fairy countering ghost/dark . teh only possible way now for a pokemon to have no weaknesses is for it to be liek eelektross and have a type or type combo with one weakness , and an ability that nullifies it . 

[theelliottsmiths]

What similarities do you see between Till and Valjean and Richard and Javert please?

Things Till and Jean Valjean have in common:

Their tendancy to be misunderstood/vilified

They're both great with children, were single dads

Till has the exact build I always picture book Valjean having: very built, strong and, more importantly, memorable. Could and would pick up a dangerous and heavy cart if someone was trapped under it.

Till would probably carry out the convent escape and re-entry just for fun. He would definitely do it for Art.

Both have a tendancy to just fuck off into the middle of nowhere sometimes. I would not be surprised if Till buried money and other such things in the woods.

Both lead double lives to some extent

They share a deep and pervasive melancholy that is only somewhat tempered by Love. Love is the central theme of both Les Mis and most of Rammstein's discography

Kind older man, can and will hurt you if you're a cunt, will hurt himself without much thought at all

Loneliness

Thievery

Things Richard and Javert have in common (less substantial I hope you understood this wouldn't be quality content):

Bad parents/childhood, escaped to find a better life

Nicotine dependency (cigarettes for Richard, snuff for Javert)

Seem prone to black and white thinking

Little hand stims (described surprisingly frequently in the brick, and Richard counts his fingers in a stimming way)

Both put great effort and thought into their appearance

Kind of dramatic

Self destructive tendancies

Look good in uniform

More feminine in build than average

Unusual hairstyles (in the brick Javert is described as having a short hairstyle and fringe, you know what picture I'm going to attach

There are obviously a tonne of differences too, Valjean was a colossal virgin and Javert didn't have an ounce of creativity in his body etc

[aceyanaheim]

6 Characters: Seto Kaiba, Tamaki, Charles Xavier, Alexander Hamilton, Wolverine, Ryo Bakura

dOh this one….has all my favorite characters..huh okay.

Push off a cliff: Alexander Hamilton ( I love him bu he does too much dumb shit)

Kiss:…Prolly none. Maybe Tamaki is we’re the same age cause he’s the one I can see being okay with that.

Marry: Charles Xavier if I had to chose. He’s the most financially stable…and possibly the most mentally stable lol. Also he’d totally understand a qpr where we just chill and help/raise all the mutant kids in need.

Set on Fire: Wolverine ( he’s the only one that could heal.)

Wrap a Blanket around: ALL OF THEM. 

Be Roommates with: Oh Gawd they’d all make H O R R I B L E roomates…like

Alexander would be the freaking dude who pulls all-nighters writing ( and keeps YOU up while doing so) and lives on Monster drinks so there’s nothing in the fridge when he’s in charge of groceries….and possibly does drunken-half-asleep commentary on politics which…would actually be fun.

Also “I think I’m about to cheat on my gf/wife” “How bout you don’t do that” “…yeeah I…don’t know how to do that thing you’re sayin…gonna need to crash with you after the thing’s done” “goddamit Alexander Why do you always do this at 3 AM in the morning. Don’t you SLEEP??!!”

But also I do the same thing and we’d both be messy slobs/laptop gremlins and the place would start to resemble the inside of both our heads.

Seto would ….be similar but less shitheadedness ( because he’s responsible with his self-destruction Alexander) and also probably hate me because I’m loud and jump around ( stimming) and he’s not about that and also I deep clean my place every two weeks and sort/light clean every week but in between I’m kinda like “eh it’s fine if I can find it on the floor”

and Seto…he’s pretty straight laced. I feel like after a while he’d just give me a check to cover his half of the rent and move out lol. ( Although he’d come with Mokuba so maybe it’d work out. I’m good with kids)

Tamaki would just make one too many commoner jokes and then much like Haruhi I’d have it with his rich people bullshit. “I’m about to deck the blonde outta you hair boy you want something better you go buy it” “Okay fine expect movers on the third” “THAT IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY WHAT I MEANT?????!!”

But also we’d prob’bly get along after a while because Tamaki’s a sweetheart ( albeit a bit.uh…unhealthily obsessed with how Haruhi presents but we can work on that) and then it’d just be me going “That’s a trick. Bad Tamaki don’t fall for it.” every time he doesn’t realize he’s being tricked and also hug him a lot because this kid goes through so much and someone needs to help him.

umm anyways

Wolverine would just flat out nope outta rooming with me because “I ain’t a babysitter” “Dude I’m 27″ “…right point still stands” He’s only nice to Laura and his x kids but if we were forced to room together I’d….probably WANT to help him work on his issues ( cause GOOD LORD) but just end up asking him to get drunk in his room and clean the bottles every now and then.

Also bribe him with beer and cigars to teach me to fight,

Alternatively, sick him on bad dates/every guy to ever use the word “friendzone” ever.

Although like Seto he’d probably get tired of the loud and jumping and excited “I saw a cat online!” moments I bring and move out…as soon as he can..although that may not happen as easily as with Seto because unlike Seto Logain doesn’t have a fortune at his disposal.

Ryou would probably work okay. We’re both shy and spend time alone and have….family problems ( although his are way worse because what is YGO if not tragic backstories for everyone that gets theirs told) I can see him being okay with my stimming and music and cleaning habits.

But uh…there’s the whole “I’m wearing a killer ghost” thing that I would have a problem with

Like I’m sorry Ryou you wanna room with me creepy killer necklace stays outside…..like far far far away outside. Like in a moving train headed to the opposite end of the world and also we’re changing the locks and I’m bolting my room. Yes it’s necessary. 

I’m not a white person in a horror movie and I don’t intend to play one in real life.

Like I wouldn’t room with Ryou unfortunately just on account he could be possessed. 

I ain’t about to mess with that shit.

Charles would also possibly be an easier person to room with…it would change depending on which Charles we’re talkin bout like.

Comics!Charles is old. He’s old and classy and always speaks proper english and I talk in memes half the time and think an italian sub is acceptable dinner food soooo….I’d probably try to speak like him when he’s around and talk about literature but I’d eventually want someone to play Magic with or to stay up late watching movies and he’d give me That Look. The one he gave the new mutants when they threw a party in Evo.

Now FirstClass!Xavier….would be just as down to have fun as me if not more ( cause I still haven’t been to a college party where as he…it was the first thing he did in the movie) and we’d probably BE the people staying up late and laughing at stupid shit science does. 

Both would be doable but the second one would work better.

So I guess the answer as to who I’d room with is….all of them.

[beckettsthoughts]

Top 5 songs from Folie à Duex by FOB

This is the best possible question I could have received, thank you! I really love Folie à Deux, the experimentation with the sound and the surreal edge to the lyrics; the tracklist of Folie contains some of my all-time favourite songs. 

1. 27

27 was not my first favourite song from Folie, and in fact it was one that I would skip sometimes to get to later tracks. When I listened to it, though, it grew on me very quickly and became my absolute favourite song on Folie, and one of my favourite songs altogether. The meaning behind it is clear and it’s something that I often feel I can empathise with, a painful and sad kind of ambition and longing. The lyrics are beautiful in 27, slightly more old-school Fall Out Boy than the lyrics on tracks such as Headfirst Slide, and the vocals are strong and so, so fun to sing along to. It’s a really good song to sing-stim, for me, which is a huge influence on how much I like it.

2. Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes

This is, by far, my favourite opening track of any album. The way it begins soft but then slams in with that heavy rhythm, it sticks in my head and I feel it opens the album brilliantly. The chorus is evocative and energetic, easy to get caught up in but again, it carries that undertone of sadness that underpins the whole album. Disloyal Order is one track I would sell my soul to see live, it’s iconic to me. It’s also fair to say that Patrick’s vocals on this whole album are amazing, strong and clear in a unique sense that I don’t think I could compare to anything or anyone else, and Disloyal Order is what introduces that. It hits you so hard when the first verse kicks in, that’s why this track is one of my favourites.

3. West Coast Smoker (ft. Debbie Harry)

This track, to me, is really unique compared to the rest of the album. It almost sounds like a different genre. It sounds angrier, shoutier, and I love it for that. The lyrics are a little nonsensical and hard to understand in places, not unusual for Folie, but the chorus is one of my favourites on the album. I also, I just really love Debbie Harry? I’m a huge fan of Blondie, I used to listen to Sunday Girl on repeat in the car, and this track really showcases her talent in a different way than most of her other, more New Wave-style work. Her vocals really strengthen the chorus and build that extra layer of sound that I love so much. 

Another aspect of West Coast Smoker that I love is the bridge, in which the rhythm matches the numbers being sung. It’s almost like a call-and-response. Knock once? One beat. Twice? Two beats. Three times? Three beats. It’s just a clever little interlude that I appreciate a lot, it really adds that little bit of detail that makes the song amazing for me. 

4. She’s My Winona

She’s My Winona was, in the place of 27, my first favourite song on Folie. It’s early on the track-list meaning I ended up playing it a lot, and it’s one of my most relatable on the album for me. “Hell or glory” is an attitude that I’ve struggled to curb throughout my life; once I have my heart set on something I refuse to settle for anything less. It’s perfection or nothing, as destructive as that may sometimes be. She’s My Winona, then, is reassuring in a sense. It’s reminder that those subconscious attitudes can change, that something can come into your life and allow you better yourself in a way that you hadn’t previously known. I’m constantly striving to better myself, through any means I can, and this song is something that inspires me to keep trying. 

5. Tiffany Blews (ft. Lil Wayne)

This is one track that I love mostly because it’s just so damn good. It may not be quite as emotional for me as some of my other favourites, but it’s such an impressively catchy song that I had to include it on the list. That’s not to say I don’t empathise with these lyrics at all because I do, the first verse and the pre-chorus especially worm their way straight into my heart, but the main reason I love this song is the sound. The chorus sounds amazing, the vocals for the verses are complex and intricate, a display of skills I could never even begin to match. I love Lil Wayne’s part as well, it’s another section that resonates with me emotionally, but I love the electronic effect of that bridge and the vibe it creates. I like electronica in general so that kind of sound will always appeal to me, it was a pleasant surprise to hear in a Fall Out Boy song, even if it is only a short section.

So, that’s my top five songs from Folie à Deux! There were some runners-up, of course, but two of those I feel deserve a specific mention. I Don’t Care is a song I’ve always been very fond of, and it’s the only track from Folie that was on the setlist when I saw Fall Out Boy live back in 2015. It’s a great one to hear live, it raises the energy of the crowd in a way that transcended complex emotion and replaced every thought in my head with energy and excitement. The other track I want to talk about is Pavlove. I didn’t want to include it on the main list because it’s technically not on the original tracklist, instead Pavlove is a feature of the Deluxe edition. However, if I had considered it for this list it probably would have stolen at a spot at number three or four, because it’s one of my favourite Fall Out Boy songs in general.

Thank you so much for asking, this was a lot of fun to answer and I loved getting to explain the reasons I love some of my favourite tracks! I really appreciate it

[stimtoybox]

I'm ADHD and only now coming to realize that many things I thought were bad habits are actually stimming behaviors which have become borderline destructive (picking scabs, chewing my lips, grinding my teeth, etc). Now I'm looking for stim toys to hopefully channel that into less destructive stims, but there are so many that I'm getting lost. Can you walk me through some different kinds of stim toys, especially tactile ones, what they are and how they're used, etc? Thank you so much.

No worries, anon! I’ve included a link to the tag of each toy, so you can check out reviews, images, vendors, tutorials and prices.

If you want to look at the different types of toys you might include when building a stim kit, I’ve written about it here and here (and why it matters). If you want to look at making your own toys, here’s the DIY master post!

Tangles

A Tangle is a plastic loop formed from eighteen macaroni-style links pegged together. Each link twists and turns. The Tangle can be coiled, woven or threaded between fingers, twisted, wrapped around a wrist, pulled apart (with force - not easy for some people). Think how you might play with a large rubber band - a Tangle does all this but stretch! I use my Tangles while watching TV, on buses and in waiting rooms.

They’re available in a variety of sizes and textures. Some have silicone coating, a hairy coating with fronds you can pull, flocking, metallic coating or ribbed and pebbled links, all offering increased sensory input.

Kinetic Sand

Kinetic sand is a very fine-grained dry, often coloured sand combined with 2% polydimethylsiloxane to give it its mouldability. Unlike beach sand, which needs to be wet, kinetic sand moulds dry and crumbles in a way beach sand doesn’t. It’s soft, it’s easy to clean up - the grains cling to each other - and it’s very soothing to mould, crush, cut, dribble. It’s both a visual stim and a tactile one, but less good for travelling (as you need a plate or tray to contain it). This is a stim for when you just want to stim, although I sometimes watch TV at the same time.

Slime, Putty and Dough

These are all toys that can be some combination of pulled, squished, moulded, stretched, compressed, shaped. Slimes in particular are available in infinite variations - containing glitter, beads, sequins, polystyrene balls, all offering more textures - although I recommend buying from handmade sellers or making your own. (Here in Australia, storebought slime tends to be watery and oozy; handmade slimes are more like putty.) These are a little more portable than kinetic sand. Can also be scented!

Chain Fidgets

These vary widely, but are some form of a chain or two chains linking two rings, allowing the fidget to be turned over and over in your hand or hands (depending on size). There’s not a lot you can do with one of these, as you’re literally just turning it over and over, but for quiet background fidgeting while you’re reading, studying or watching TV, for example, they’re ideal.

Bead Rings / Bead Lanyards

A bead ring is … beads strung on a ring. (Easy to make; even easier if you use clip rings, like those from a binder or for flashcards, instead of keychain/split rings.) You can turn/roll the beads as a tactile stim; the noise the beads make (especially if they’re metal-centred beads) is something I also find pretty stimmy. They can make noise, though, so less good for classroom stimming.

A bead lanyard is a length of beads threaded onto intertwining cord with a length of cord and a stopper at one end, allowing you to push the beads up and down the cord. They’re often made with a ring at one end, meaning they can be used as keychains or zipper pulls. These are super portable and, attached to a bag, pencil case or keychain, really stealth. Good for a quiet stim to keep hands busy whilst doing something else.

Squishies

Squishies are foam toys (often shaped like food or animals) made out of a squishable foam or rubbery plastic. They compress and stretch to varying degrees, depending on the toy and material - like a stress ball, but softer and easier to compress, and often with more variation in colours, sizes and textures. Slow-rising squishies take longer to rise, so watching them combines a visual and tactile stim toy in one. Many are inexpensive and come with a phone charm strap, so you can attach them to bags and zippers.

Weighted Plush

These can be regular plushies given weight by the addition of stuffing with plastic pellets (or rice for folks with less money or access) or custom plushies, often made from super-tactile fleece or chenille duster-mitt cloth. (Scent can be added with oils or dried herbs/flowering plants.) Some stimmers find the weight soothing or relaxing, but it doesn’t work for everyone. Other stimmers like the weight and the ability to run hands through plush fur or pull at chenille fronds. 

Textured Stress Balls / Prickle Fidgets / Puffer Creatures

I’m grouping all these together because they’re often a rough ball or animal shape with fronds, trailing tentacles, prickles or bumps. Many are soft, rubbery and squishable! They’re also often inexpensive, available in a variety of sizes and styles, and readily available in dollar shops and toy sections of department stores (in Australia, places like K-Mart and Daiso). I swear by prickle balls and fidgets for rolling over my skin (it’s like a portable massager that can also be thrown and caught) but puffer creatures can also be squished, pulled and stretched. Extremely textured, quite versatile!

Marble Mazes / Marble Loops / Bean Bags

Marble mazes and loops are soft fabric fidgets that involve pushing a marble through a sewn loop of cloth or a maze sewn into a closed pocket of fabric. The fabrics chosen are usually flannelette or fleece, so they’re lovely to stroke and touch. They’re incredibly tactile, very portable, washable, extremely fidget-friendly. Bean bags are bags made from beans or plastic pellets, also from the same materials. They’re fun to toss, they’re soft to touch and they make great noise as you throw them. Plus you can scent them in the way you scent weighted plushies!

I consider these the core of tactile stim toys, but there are of course a great many items not listed here. I have not discussed fidget jewellery at all due to post length, but if you’d like me to do a post on this, just let me know.

If you want an in-depth explanation of any specific toy, any specific recommendations or my descriptions haven’t been clear enough, also let me know. Good luck with finding the right toy for you!