#as if I haven’t lived off of 100 proof for months

[gandreida]

Took a double shot of vodka with no chaser and I didnt even twitch or cringe like I normally do when I drink alcohol

[kinnaman-smorgasbord]

Kelly Gale & Joel Kinnaman's Getaway — Vogue Scandinavia 2022 Aug/Sep Issue

“We had some real, underlying issues”: Joel and Kelly on the realities of a very modern, Hollywood romance

By Allyson Shiffman

August 16, 2022

Photo: Ellen von Unwerth

Joel Kinnaman and Kelly Gale can’t keep their hands off each other. Outrageously attractive and unabashedly in love, the recently-engaged Swedish power couple are a fairytale come to life. But, as it turns out, the road to happily ever after was filled with plot twists, obstacles and a proposal that played out considerably different from how it appeared on Instagram. Ellen von Unwerth captures their steamy love story at the Kinnaman’s country house for Vogue Scandinavia's anniversary issue

Joel Kinnaman and Kelly Gale are lying on a small patch of beach two hours north of Stockholm, kissing. It is a moment so intimate, it appears they have forgotten the 10 or so onlookers and the snap of photographer Ellen von Unwerth’s camera. “I almost feel embarrassed to watch,” remarks our fashion assistant. One bystander, however, is unbothered; Zoe, Joel and Kelly’s rescue dog, saunters into the scene and plops down on the beach directly between the couple and the camera, her wagging black tail whomping Kelly in the face.

On the drive home from the Kinnaman’s summer property, a vast plot of seaside land with several structures and enough beds to house an expanding family, the entire Vogue Scandinavia team will remark on the magic of this couple. So wildly attractive, so unabashedly in love and so prepared to embark on their next chapter – marriage, children, further career milestones.

“Are we going to tell the real story?” Kelly asks Joel with a grin when I inquire about their engagement, announced via Instagram early last year. A couple of weeks have passed since our cover shoot at the country house when Joel, Kelly and I meet for lunch in a private suite at Stockholm’s Diplomat Hotel. During the five or so minutes that we wait to be let up, Joel receives a hello and a fist-bump from an acquaintance in the lobby - proof that though he now lives in Malibu, he will always be a Stockholm boy.

We enter the suite and the 42-year-old actor places his Acne Studios shopping bag by the door (“Kelly got a jacket”) and we settle in around the dining room table. It began, as many modern romances do, with a DM. “It went down in the DMs,” Joel sings, referencing the 2016 Yo Gotti hit. It was not a move that typically worked on the 27-year-old who, as a Victoria’s Secret model, was accustomed to receiving messages from well-known bachelors. “Usually I would go in and see that the guy follows all of the Victoria’s Secret models,” she says. “But I went on his profile and he was only following me and, like, 100 people.” The only person they had in common was Barack Obama. “I passed the first test,” says Joel, proudly.

Seven months later, after one failed attempt to get her to join him at a UFC fight in New York, Joel managed to take Kelly on a sushi date in Los Angeles... sort of. “It was a little bit weird, because I had been trying to get out of my current relationship for a while,” Kelly says. It was an on-again-off-again situation with a guy she had been with since high school. So she assured herself that it wasn’t a date, that they were just “two people meeting up.” They didn’t even hug, but the chemistry was there.

The second meet-up was a hike in Malibu. “And then I got a hug,” says Joel, before quickly correcting himself. “Well...I didn’t get a hug, I gave her a hug.” Kelly interjects, “You tried to kiss me.” Joel was all in – he had already brought up the notion of having kids. When Kelly returned to New York, she officially called things off with her boyfriend.

Both Kelly and Joel came to be born in Sweden via unusual circumstances. Kelly’s mother was born in India and adopted by a Swedish family as a child. She met Kelly’s father, an Australian, while travelling in Thailand and returned with him to Gothenburg to start their family. “I honestly haven’t spent that much of my life here because we lived in Ghana for several years of my childhood,” Kelly explains. At 12, she was spotted by a model scout and shortly thereafter she was travelling the world. She walked her first Victoria’s Secret runway in 2013.

As for Joel, his American father, Steve Kinnaman, was drafted into the military during the Vietnam war. While stationed in Bangkok, befriending Europeans for the very first time and even attending the wedding of a half-Vietnamese bride, he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that things didn’t “seem right.” When Steve received his orders to be shipped into combat, he decided he “wasn’t going to participate in the war.”

He burned his passport and went on the run, eventually escaping to Sweden and applying for political asylum. “And then he met my mum and they started a family,” Joel says. Today Steve and Bitte Kinnaman live full-time at the family summer house. On the day of our cover shoot, they warmly greeted our team, even offering up bathing suits to borrow in case anyone wanted to take a swim after we wrapped.

A knock at the door indicates lunch has arrived. Steamed white fish and veggies for both Joel and Kelly. “He’s on my Victoria’s Secret diet right now,” says Kelly, a self-described foodie and armchair nutritionist. Joel is preparing for a role that requires him to shed all his hard-earned muscles. I ask him how it’s going. “Oh, it’s miserable,” he says. “Luckily he never saw me get ready for the Victoria’s Secret show, or we would not have been a couple,” says Kelly.

Kelly was a “completely different person from now” on her first non-date with Joel. Gregarious and easy-going by nature, Joel loosened her up – taught her to enjoy life more. Brought out her goofy side. “I think it was her competitiveness and her professionalism that was getting in the way of everything,” he says, turning to Kelly. “You kind of realised that maybe you didn’t want to sacrifice everything for your career. It was sort of like...it’s not all going to fall apart if you have a little bit of this or try doing that. If you don’t allow yourself to try different things and see what you like and don’t like, what’s it all for?”

Kelly had gone from a “strict” household (her word) to a strict career. “It was very much ‘this is right and this is wrong’,” she explains. When she began pursuing modelling, the people around her were not entirely supportive, suggesting that she would fail or turn to drugs. Her competitive nature drove her to prove them dead wrong, to “never do a drug” and “never drink.”

As she describes it, she set up strict rules and boundaries for herself, so she could succeed in the competitive modelling landscape while protecting her mental and physical health. But then came Joel, who operates in shades of grey – open to experiences and various ways of seeing things. A no-bullshit, heart on his sleeve kind of guy (his mum is a therapist). It was refreshing and unexpected. “I was never gonna end up with some one with tattoos,” she says. Now she wants one herself – a homage to the couple’s two rescue dogs.

Joel is no stranger to a career-oriented physical transformation, current diet inclusive. He’s gone big and buff as Rick Flag in Suicide Squad and Takeshi Kovacs in Altered Carbon and gaunt and pale as a tweaker-turned-detective in The Killing. For Joel, discovering acting was somewhat of a revelation. “I didn’t grow up thinking I was going to amount to much and I wasn’t really good at anything,” he says.

“It felt like all of a sudden, life had meaning in a way and it was a purpose and a goal. So when I started doing my first characters, I was prepared to be very self-destructive to get to where I needed to be.” Fulfilling the old school perception of the tortured artist, Joel was ready and willing to “embrace the darkness” if that’s what was called for.

These days he approaches things differently, drawing from personal experience without spiralling into depression or bouts of anxiety. “If I’m playing someone that’s an alcoholic, I don’t have to go on a six-week bender,” he says. When I ask if he’s referring to a specific role, he admits that he’s “dabbled in stuff that has been connected to a character,” mentioning The Killing specifically. “But wasn’t he, like, a meth addict?” I ask. “Yes,” he responds. Next up, Joel will play a revenge-seeking father in the John Woo-directed Silent Night. Presumably, no revenge was taken in preparation.

Lately Kelly has caught the acting bug as well. She had done theatre as a kid, but when modelling “took over” she abandoned the idea of acting, even as major self-tape requests came rolling in. She was asked to tape for Zendaya’s role in Dune, but she didn’t get around to it because she “didn’t want to send in a half ass tape or do a shitty job.” The audition request, however, coupled with the lack of model-related travelling during the pandemic, spurred her to dive into acting with signature dedication, working with a coach and self-taping obsessively.

“It’s a lot of work though, for me,” says Joel. “I’m captain self-tape at this point.” Kelly interjects, “He wants to direct, so it’s perfect.” The long hours have paid off – Kelly stars in forthcoming action film The Plane opposite Gerard Butler as well as a Netflix film, Uglies. “Now I’m prepared and ready to audition for Dune 2 instead,” she adds.

With their careers and relationship thriving, there was only one thing left to do: get engaged. Judging by their celebratory Instagram posts, the charming proposal anecdote recounted by Joel on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and that big, beautiful ring, it looked from the outside like the engagement played out like a fairytale (save for the fact that they nearly got arrested for hiking on private property in Hawaii). But here it comes – the aforementioned “real story”.

“I had said to Joel three weeks earlier that I am not ready to get married,” says Kelly. She had been saying it for months, in fact, repeatedly. She had told her friends and family that she was not ready for an engagement. She said that if Joel were to ask for their blessing or for assistance picking out a ring, that they were to stop him. She wanted to get engaged, just maybe “six months later.” Joel figured she didn’t really mean it. “Well, you don’t decide when I propose,” he told her.

Kelly’s response? “Well, you don’t decide the answer.” In January 2021, without consulting anyone, Joel bought a ring and planned the cinematic sunrise proposal. “I said yes, but I was kind of pissed,” Kelly says, adding, “It would have been so awkward if I had said no.”

After the engagement, Kelly felt “confused.” “I started Googling ‘sad after engagement’,” she says (as it turns out, it’s “a thing”). Given that she’s a moderate-sharer on Instagram, she felt obligated to post some thing romantic to commemorate the moment. “Yours forever,” she wrote beneath a selfie of her and Joel kissing, the ring centre stage. Now the whole world thought they were happily engaged, but things at home were still “weird”. “We had some real, underlying issues,” Joel now admits. “Like, foundational issues in our relationship that we hadn’t solved.”

He knew things weren’t perfect – what relationship is? – but he saw the engagement as a “doubling down.” The sort of guy to face things head on, Joel figured once they got engaged, all of the “heavy shit” between them would work itself out. “For me, it was like, I want this relationship to work. I want Kelly, I love her,” he says. Ever the pragmatist, Kelly wanted to solve their problems first, before committing to spending the rest of their lives together. She stopped wearing the ring.

In hindsight, she credits the mistimed engagement to her and Joel working through their “shit”. The mistimed engagement, and therapy. Or rather, a coach, named Mark. “We f ***ing love this guy,” says Joel. “Everyone deserves a Mark in their life.” They saw him “once or twice a week for almost a month,” working through their “deeper shit”. Building a foundation. “It was really brutal and painful, but then we got through it and it was like...” Joel mimes his brain exploding. “It felt like our relationship really started,” says Kelly. They agree that now, three years after they first went for sushi, they are in their honeymoon phase. Today she’s wearing her ring.

These days they still see Mark, though less regularly. They have the confidence to get through the tough parts – to weather the sometimes-chaos of a full life spent together. “Mark asked us if we play tennis, which we do,” says Joel. “He taught us that in a relationship, you’re always playing doubles, on the same team.” “Now I want to get married,” says Kelly. She turns to Joel and says, sweetly, “I love you so much.”

Photographer: Ellen von Unwerth Stylist: Ursula Wångander Talents: Kelly Gale and Joel Kinnaman Hair Stylist: Karolina Liedberg Makeup Artist: Anya De Tobon Nail Artist: Aida Ahadpour Photographer Assistants: Nominoe Queinnec, Mattias Sätterström Stylist Assistant: Amelie Langenskiöld Digital Operator: Gustaf Hagstrand Production: Kornelia Eklund Production Assistant: Anton Nilsson, Rebecka Thorén

[meichenxi]

short update / hello / not dead etc

she lives!

...the reason I have not been very active here is quite simply Shame. I have been living in korea for 9 months and have not learnt ANY korean, and then I felt too embarrassed about that fact to come back to langblr. this is unfortunately proof of something I have known for a while: that my reasons and motivations for learning languages are 100% intrinsic. I can’t force it. 

not speaking korean has made my life about 90% worse. I am very capable of learning languages quickly. there are many resources available for learning korean VERSUS

‘but it’s not my special interest :((((((((’

...apparently the latter wins. so what have I been doing instead? I’ve nearly finished a 4-month daily intensive chinese course from east china normal university. haven’t done much self-studying. I put off chinese for a few months because I felt so indescribably bad about not doing korean that I ended up just doing nothing at all. 

anyway. I’m now thinking a lot about next year and yes I am planning to maybe go to taiwan and I AM applying for A Thing. (more details later if Thing happens; I know now not to jinx anything and talk about it on the blog)

but I’m also so very lonely / in need of friends so I might??? stay in the uk for a year instead??? what I want to do really changes daily. which is stupid. but I miss my family and friends, it feels like I haven’t seen anyone since the beginning of covid, which as people REMIND me is 3 years ago almost. I also very much need help for mental health stuff because in this house we spiral and I need an ahdhdhdhdhdhdhdhdhd diagnosis otherwise I will never ever get anything done ever for the rest of my life, ze self hatred etc etc

so

to wit

I may be spending much more time doing german (and possibly french OR spanish) in the next year. why? because my chinese sadly is not good enough to bag me a job yet - another year of study at least - and I want to do something that involves languages SOMEHOW. which is kind of exciting and kind of fun and will be SUCH a different way of studying to the way I study chinese, which is all media-centric. 

german is definitely my best foreign language passively - though it’s been a while since I’ve spoken it actively - and I also hugely enjoy it. no big problems there. 

choosing between french and spanish however is proving difficult. pros and cons of each:

FRENCH: - passive understanding higher than spanish - better foundation - my partner speaks it very well so could practice with her - my father ALSO speaks it very well so could practice with him - ....and my friend (you get the picture) - am more likely to get to an employable level within 6 months - I Do Not Actually Like French. crucially though since I already can understand it to a passive c1 level however, it would mostly just include reactivating prior knowledge and learning new vocab, which would be Fine and would not hurt me as much as learning korean

SPANISH: - I prefer it objectively speaking over French. this is the BIGGIE. I like spanish more - my foundation is much worse, and I have spent less time with the language / generally feel more uncertain - my passive comprehension is not as high (maybe b2 if people speak at a reasonable speed?) - potential for more media - mouth feel speaking spanish good - would need to actually relearn a load of grammar things - less likely to get to an employable level in six months. 

hmm. will continue to think.

[unusual-uraniidae]

Turkey-Lurky enjoys the new little roost bar we set up, lol! It must’ve been a good way to beat the heat; it got so warm I had to turn the brooders off today 😳 I do think they’re enjoying all the new space with only the 3 smaller ducks in there now ❤️ I bet a couple of them miss Ollie, though 🥺 They’ll be going into the coop in the next couple of weeks, though, so it won’t be for too much longer 🥰

A little worried about the ducklings in the coop. It’s supposed to get a little cooler tonight and now we get to test the weather-proofing 😬 I know that they’ll be fine but I’m still so anxious 😖 I’m sure Ollie can take it because he’s been panting in the heat and the others haven’t, but it could reach a low of 49 degrees Fahrenheit tonight (which is nuts because it was over 90 at one point earlier today!) and yeah… it’s still concerning. I just have to keep reminding myself that all of our breeds are able to handle colder weather since we live in a place with about 9 months of winter, and the rest of the year varies from 50-100 degrees with high humidity. I still can’t get over how happy these guys make me and yet how stressed out I am all the time over them 😖😖😖 is this parenting??

[ignitedbynatsu]

He Makes You Feel Insecure ~ Laxus

A/N: Erik/Cobra will be up next! I’ll probably post it next Tuesday or something like that. Anyway let me know who you want me to do next! I was thinking Natsu or Rogue 🤔 (future me: well that was a big lie 😶)

warnings: insecurities (he makes you feel weak), cursing

genre: angst to fluff

Other versions:

Gray ~ Erik/Cobra ~ Bickslow ~ Gajeel ~ Natsu  ~ Jellal ~ Freed ~ Sting ~ Rogue

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡

It was supposed to be an easy mission. Go in by morning, get back by noon. For some reason you couldn’t get yourself to focus, often leaving blind spots, but luckily Laxus was always in time to protect you from harm. 

You didn’t like relying on others, especially Laxus. It only made your overthinking worse. After all, why would he be with someone that’s not even S-class? You’ve heard the whispers in the guild and Magnolia. Mira-Jane and Laxus would’ve been a much better couple than you two. Even Erza would’ve been a better match, but he still chooses you. Was it out of pity? Did he think you’d get better eventually? Was it a joke? After all, you hadn’t been dating for that long. He could easily change his mind if he saw how weak you actually were.

As your thoughts kept going down the negative spiral, you once again left your right side completely open. Only this time Laxus wasn’t in time to protect you, resulting in a nasty cut that ran across your ribcage.

Laxus finally decided he had enough as he saw his significant other clutches her side, blood soaking through the fabric of your shirt. He electrocuted everyone around, making sure not to hit you. 

“I’m sorry-“ You wanted to apologize but quickly cowered at his stone-cold glare 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, (Y/N)? How many times am I gonna have to save you today? Get your head out of your ass and start taking this serious, or I’m going home.” He growled “I don’t need this job. If anything it’s an embarrassment that I still go on such low-class jobs. This wouldn’t have happend if I went with Freed”

The vile words that came out of Laxus mouth, confirmed your already overwhelming fears. You were too weak. You were nothing but a burden to him. The difference in power between you two was enormous. While this job seemed like a walk in the park for him, you still would’ve struggled even if you didn’t have an off day. You wouldn’t have gotten hurt that’s for sure, but you still would’ve been drained afterwards. 

“I’ll be better,” You said quietly as you bit through the pain. You recollected yourself and fought off the remaining bad guys, making sure that you were covered on all sides.

All throughout the fight, the pain in your side got worse. It felt like someone was stabbing you repeatedly, but you bit your tongue and decided to ignore it. You didn’t want to look even weaker in front of your boyfriend. After all, it was just a light graze, right?

“How’s your wound?” Laxus asked once you left the job requester’s house with your payment. “It’s fine don’t worry about it”

“Really? Let me take a look” He pressed, but you pushed his reaching hands away “I’m serious, Laxus, it’s just a small cut nothing to be worried about”

That was a massive lie. The cut burned with every step you took. The both of you didn’t even notice that there was still some blood spilling out of it due to your shirt being incredibly dirty from the mud and blood mixed together.

Once back at the guild, Laxus went straight up to Freed, Bixlow and Evergreen, while you went and sat at the table Lucy, Wendy and Carle were seated at.

“How did the job go?” Wendy asked as she sipped on whatever drink she had ordered from Mira-Jane.

“Some cuts and bruises, but the payment was worth it” You joked. The two girls and Exeed laughed at that before talking about something else.

You zoomed out as your wound was taking up all of your attention. It felt as if your heart was beating right where the cut was. With every heartbeat, you had to do your best to suppress a wince. 

“(Y/N)? Are you okay? You look a bit pale” Carle suddenly asked, snapping you out of your thoughts

“Yeah… I’m going to the toilet” You didn’t make it far, because the moment you stood up you collapsed to the ground, fainting from the amount of blood you had lost.

“(Y/N)?” Laxus called out, panicked, as he saw your familiar figure hit the ground with a thud. He quickly shot out of his seat and was in mere seconds crouched next to your body, picking your head up carefully. 

“Everyone, step back!” Makarov ordered as Wendy knelt next to you as well. She lifted your shirt and gasped at the deep cut.

“How did you not know about this?” Wendy asked the older mage as Mira-Jane quickly ran off to get a wet towel to clean out your wound and some bandages.

“I know she got hit, but when I asked her about it, she told me it wasn’t anything serious” Wendy was already performing a healing spell on you while Mira-Jane rejoined to clean out the wound. “She lost a lot of blood, so she’ll need some rest, other than that, I think I healed her”

“I’ll take her home. Thank you, Wendy” Laxus picked you up carefully before saying goodbye to the others and reassuring them he’d look after you.

As he walked the short walk home, he couldn’t help but wonder why you lied to him. Did you not trust him? 

He had laid you down in bed and decided to prepare the both of you some food while you were still out cold. This is the reason why you woke up to the smell of something burning. “Laxus?” You croaked as you recognized the all too familiar room you woke up in.

“You shouldn’t be out of bed” He quickly rushed you back. It was a rare sight to see Laxus worry about someone this much, but it was a sight you often got to see when you two were alone.

“What happened?” You asked as you peaked over his shoulders at the steam coming out of your kitchen.

“I wanted to make us some food since you were still out cold, but as you can see, it didn’t really go as planned.” He replied as he scratched the back of his neck with the ever slightest tone of pink visible on his cheeks.

“It was very thoughtful of you, thank you,” You said as you got back in bed with you back rested against the headboard. 

Laxus sat down as well, but at the end of the bed, putting some distance between the two of you, signalling that something was up. He made it even more clear when he let out a heavy sigh “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t think it was that big of a deal-“ “that’s bullshit, (Y/N), and you know it” He cut you off before you could finish your excuse. A heavy silence was placed upon the two of you. You were contemplating whether you should let him in on your thoughts or not.

“Do you not trust me?” He asked softly, you had never heard the feared Laxus this vulnerable, it made you feel guilty for making him feel that way. 

“No! No, of course not. I trust you with all my heart, it’s just…” You trailed off, at a lost for words once again. You didn’t want to seem weak in front of him. Furthermore, you wanted to prove that you were just fine, but you couldn’t think of a believable lie.

“(Y/N), please, tell me what’s on your mind. Was it something I said?” He pressed on.

“What is it that you see in me, Laxus?” You asked softly. “Where is this coming from?”

You sighed, making sure you were 100% okay with letting him in on your insecurities before continuing “You can’t tell me you haven’t heard the whispers on the street about you and Mira. You two would be a much better match. I’m just some weak mage that’s only holding you back. I’ll never reach your level. Not only that, but I don’t even get why you still want to go out with me on these kind of jobs ‘cause it’s as you said, it’s an embarrassment for you to still do these. The fact that I still see them as hard only proofs how I’ll never be good enough to be an S-class wizard like Mira or Erza. I’ll never live up to the standard of being the girlfriend of the powerful Laxus. I’m just… Not good enough I guess”

He listened carefully that every word that left your mouth and realization struck him as you recalled his words. He had made you doubt yourself. “Is that really what you think I care about?”

You looked up at him and softly nodded your head while biting down your lip. Afraid of him starting to laugh at you for your insecurities. “Listen, (Y/N), I wouldn’t give two flying shits about you being strong or not. Hell, I wouldn’t even care if you had magic or not. I fell in love with you for who you are. You are the smartest, most creative, breathtaking woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. Don’t even get me started on that smile. I am deeply sorry for playing into your securities. I was frustrated with myself for not protecting you from that bad guy in time. Please, don’t ever feel like you can’t tell me something because you’re afraid that you’ll come across as weak. I care much more for your health than your pride”

“You love me?” You asked as you looked at him with puppy eyes.

“That’s all you took from that?” He chuckled softly, making you give him a sheepish smile “But, yes, I love you. I know we’ve only been dating for a couple of months and I don’t expect you to say it back, so-“

“I love you too, Laxus. Sorry for making you think I couldn’t trust you.” You said as you inched closer to give him a sweet kiss “So, how about some take out?”

[candygirluwu]

Help my grandparents find safe and sanitary housing please

Hello, my name is Leisha and I’m trying to raise enough funds to be able to move my grandparents out of the very unsafe and unsanitary situation they are in. My mother can barely afford to pay our rent and other bills and I am currently unemployed so we can’t do it on our own.

My grandparents live in another country, and up until December they lived in a small flat with my uncle, one my mom helped pay the monthly rent of while my grandparents and uncle covered the rest equally. However, come December my uncle got married and through an unclear series of events (we haven’t been able to hear from my uncle, only from my grandparents. But he has a history of taking some of the money my mom used to send monthly) ended up kicking my grandparents out and moving his wife and her parents in. My grandparents were temporarily taken in by family acquaintances and they were the ones who helped them get in contact with my mother because they both could not use phones (they are illiterate) and whenever my mom would try to talk to them by calling my uncle as she usually does he would not answer.

They were left with zero money and belongings and my grandpas retirement checks still get sent to where my uncle lives because he needs proof of new residency to be able to change addresses, and since my uncle is the one who usually cashed them for him, we’re pretty sure he has taken them. They’ve tried to go back to the apprt multiple times but my uncle has threatened to call the cops on them and they were verbally abused by him, his wife and her parents. They now live with another elderly couple and their daughter in a very rundown house and pay about 100 dollars a month, the house is one floor and it is downright nasty and unsanitary with frequent power and water outages. It’s also been hell to navigate and my grandpa has suffered three falls because he has weak knees and the toilet is a traditional one that has no seat so he has to squat.

We have been planning to save up to move them out in a couple of months or so but its’ become an urgent situation and we simply can’t come up with money for the needed security deposit as well as the advance in rent being asked for since we can barely afford to pay our own bills and anything we can spare is sent so they can get groceries and refill their important meds. My grandpa can’t get his retirement checks still or any type of social aid because they are staying in the house « paperless » and there are no legal contracts or papers that prove they rent and live there and you need an address to be able to do anything.

What we need:

Our priority is to move them out of the housing situation they are in, and maybe even help the other elderly couple and their daughter who lives with them. We also want to pay for doctors visits for both of them (especially my grandpa because of the falls he endured) and make sure their medication is refilled. Optional: money for a plane ticket so either my mom or I can visit and see them (if my mom can manage time off and if travel restrictions allow it)

Proof:

If you want proof, DM me and I will send you pictures of their current living situation with your username written on a paper or with a fork in the frame or a peace sign or whatever you would want to ask for (The other couple’s daughter is the one helping us with this and the one helping us talk to my grandparents and talk to them on the phone and such)

Paypal:

leishabbyxx@gmail.com

[cooloddball]

Someone submitted something in my inbox and they wanted to remain anonymous. Since this is an extremely long essay, I will put it under the cut. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

xxx submitted: hey, i was the one who ask what do you think of Misha and Jensen's current relationship First off all thank you for your answear it means much to me cause im easy to be convice and this person who keep telling me that they are no longer friends can be so convicing, so I'm actully trying to forget what she said 😅 so I'm just writing a few. she said that since they no longer work together, they will forget about each other, and do their common things like the gay jokes, face touches ect. With other people, and neglect each other, don't talk to each other, and then meet new people who will replace the other. And and she talked about the gish thing, she said she sure they didn't talk since the end of the series, because Jensen didn't know where Misha was and Misha didn't know about the Radio Company vol 2 (but i saw people say that, they were just pretending, because Misha liked something about Radio Company Vol 2, before the gish live, so in theory he already knew then or something like that) and She said Misha wrote a poem about Darius not Jensen and now I will write down what she sent me : I saw a post about Jensen's current activities on social media, and I've come to the conclusion the only person he doesn't interact with is mish. Sadly this makes my break up theory even stronger. I feel like this is a goodbye to one of the biggest parts of my life. They've moved on from "uk what I haven't told you today? That i love u"+ from "miss my only jensen" from "i love u misha i mean it from the bottom of my heart" from "jensen has no flaws" from "misha is the funniest thing ever happened to me" from all that love and affection from everything they developed together and now they're apart leaving their lives like nothing happened and call me a dramatic but they both have the same energy now as someone has after a big break up. and Jensen comments on almost every of his friend’s post except Misha’s"+ Jenmish is genuinely the best thing that has ever happened in my entire life. I owe them literally everything. They're the reason i hold on. Unfortunately on this essay i have to start using past tense verbs for them, and i have to continue on that. I don't know for how long y'all been in spn fandom. But even if u joined one year before the show ended you'd know how close and intimate jensen and misha were. Everything about them was unmatched.+ The chemistry and how they just fit eachother. They had always been all over eachother. Like they were holding on eachother for dear life. They completed eachother and were like world's most powerful thing. They were the definition of soulmatism. No matter where, they ALWAYS kept interacting with eachother. Each possible tweet or insta post. On cons that the other wasn't there, the other one would bring up the othere's name for no absolute reason. +The looks and repeated love confessions. How invested they were both into eachother. The family they had built together cuz we know how close dee and mish are (look all the charity work they've been doing together recently). There are youtube videos to proof everything I've said so far.When i say break up, my real intention is that they've grown apart. Everything started in the the third or forth month of pandemic. Before than jensen used to interact +(comment mostly) on almost all of misha's posts. But after a while everything just stopped. At first personally didn't care that much. Bcuz I believed too much in them that I thought not even the gods above could separate them. I told myself maybe they spend long hours chatting or video calling and that's why online public interactions are gone. But as it passed it almost diminished to zero. Except some likes from jackles and eventual ones from misha there weren't anything else.+ We got absolutely no content and the show went off too. We were helpless and were sticking to everything we had Dee had a big social media shot down, so as jensen. Misha was busy with the election. We got some interviews for it with all of them. But we didn't get much.except remember both of them pulling a bff

move. and texted eachother during an online con where everyone else were dead-serious about politics? That flickered something in me. That showed me that+ they can't ever possibly let eachother go. And the times everyone else were talking and these too would just talk random things together (the one jackels had a white hat on with stacy abraham).And then Misha posted that for jensen's bday We really overlooked it. That shit was too intimate. To close. Fav march baby? U just don't go around and called ur bestie baby and when u mean it deeply. Especially not when ur friend is jensen ackles the "I suffered form internalized homophobia my whole life+ but fuck my wife's an angel and i have an angel bf too and another angel which is his wife but I'd rather die than come out cuz my asshole dad pulled a John winchester on me". It doesn't work like that. But uk how mish is. Carefree and open. I believe they got into a fight bcuz of this. He didn't even like the post. AND that was when the tiny bit of interactions we had was gone too. For a while jensen didn't even liked his posts. After a month it started again.What made me finally believe in that they had grown too+ far: I still remember the night misha posted that he and jensen were going to have a con for gish together. I remember how hard I cried. Lile the whole world was given to me. But deep down in my heart I knew that something would definitely happen. It didn't sit right with me and unfortunately my senses never lie to me. Jensen showed up at the wrong time bcuz of misunderstanding the time zones (this was HILARIOUS). That's not even my point.+ I've seen that interview 3 times so far. It always reminds me of when i saw my ex at a party and we were both so thrilled to see eachother and we still loved the other dearly, but we just couldn't work it out. Jensen and Misha's expressions were EXACTLY the same. The genuine smiles and longs pauses were they just stared at eachother. I'm so happy that it was online cuz if they actually gave that looks to eachother standing right next to the other one I would've collapsed. Misha didn't know that jensen's album+ was out. And he got so embarrassed when he found it out. He didn't know that jensen was on set and hadn't been home for 8weeks. Jensen had no idea where misha was. And this means that they hadn't talked in a long long time.When you're that close with someone for more than a decade, i mean THAT close, even if u're separated from eachother you'd at least check on the once a week, or at least once in two weeks. But it was vividly clear that they hadn't. I hate how this world works. They would always be in my heart.+ I would be thankful from them for everything. It hurts, and it won't stop and im so sure I'd be carrying this pain for a long time. They mean too much to a lot of us. Sometimes I think to myself that god i love them so much. Remember in 2019 when we used to get SO many jenmishdee interactions? That was LIT. It was THEE year for us. I hope they're doing good. I really do. I hope we don't get more proofs and I won't have to update this thread. Cuz my heart won't be taking it very+ well.Something i gotta add U may say that Jensen's busy and that's why he doesn't comment. But he comments on a lot of jared and his new costar's posts. So that's no excuse. So yeah that's it. I don't know what am I supposed to think. english isn't my native language, so sorry for the mistakes

Here is my response:

I don't know who this person who has been talking to is but I have to say they seem to be project their previous relationship experience on cockles.

I believe Jensen and Misha are okay and are together. Social media likes and comments don't mean anything. I mean it's not like Jensen or Misha used to comment on each other's posts before. Jensen didn't even wish Dee Happy Mother's Day this year, does that mean they are not together anymore? Nope. He has other best friends he has known for over 20 years like Jason Manns, Steve Carlson etc that he doesn't wish happy birthday, does that mean they are not friends anymore.

Please let's not put value on social media likes. I don't even follow my own family on sm and I don't always like or comment on my bf's or bff's posts on sm. So it doesn't mean anything.

As for the Gish Panel, I have talked about it before, the time Jensen was slotted to attend the panel, he was meant to answer fan questions. I honestly believe they decided to not do it at that time because they knew the questions would be about Destiel and not their new projects. If you watched that panel, Misha knew that Jensen's album was out as I pointed out. He was just trying to promote the album and soldier boy. He knew Jensen had also buffed out. It was all to promote Jensen. Anything else you hear is trolls and antis just being loud. Also don't forget Jensen called him "babe".

If Jensen and Misha weren't okay, he wouldn't have attended or participated all those panels Misha organized especially for Gish. Danneel also posts a lot about RA and likes Misha's posts. I am 100% Misha visited the Ackles when he went to Colorado last month.

Stop listening to trolls and/or antis or just people who are projecting and look at facts.

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

Hi Hi!!!! So I've been following your account for a little while now and I love every single comedy bomb you drop on what you write so I was wondering....

How would the boys react to their S/O who is usually reserved when at the lair, doing a full 180 when at April's? Like they could be April's roommate or something?....

Like crackhead energy, dishing out memes and vines and literally having a duel with Casey about leftovers in the fridge?... Yeah I know it's very specific 💀

I don't know.....the idea just popped into my head but I lack the creativity and comedy skills for that...so I was wondering if you could do something with this?.....

It's totally fine, if not 😁😁

This is... 100% me. I love this and I'm gonna pour my soul into it. Also I have started mentally referring to these as comedy bombs and I refuse to stop.

Also, I hope you don't mind that I wrote these in oneshot form instead of bullet points. It just made more sense for my brain.

TMNT Oneshots

The boys with a partner whose reserved at the lair but an absolute crack gremlin at home 🤣

Donatello

Donnie may have been a man of science, all logic and facts and numbers and things. But he absolutely believed that everyone had three separate faces, you were direct proof of that theory. While the purple terrapin had known you for nearly a year you’d only started dating a month ago and it shocked him that he was still uncovering new things about you. He loved it, sure, but it had a tendency to give him figurative whiplash.

He’d always known you to be calm and collected, maybe even a bit shy. He swore you’d explode if more than one person tried to talk to you at the same time. So it wasn’t an over exaggeration for him to say that your behavior at home nearly made him break his neck.

He was only there to help April fix a bug in her laptop and to confirm your next date, he was excited to see you since you’d had no contact in person for a week because of your schedules. Just lots of phone calls and exchanged text messages. You both missed each other like crazy and your roommate had neglected to inform you that your boyfriend was coming over.

Hers was already there and he was driving you up the wall, you’d never actually thought about committing a murder but Casey was pushing you very close to the edge of snapping. And he might as well have crane-kicked you off your cliff of patience and into the rushing river of “you little fucking shit I’m gonna piss on your grave” below. You hadn’t even heard Donnie come in through the window much less his conversation with April over her computer.

All you knew was that Casey had come parading into your room like a tyrant eating the leftovers in the fridge that you had specifically put your name on. That did it. Your eyes had skimmed over the top of your textbook to meet the asshole in front of you.

“Casey?”

He couldn’t speak through the mouthful he was trying to chew and grunted in pathetic response.

“Is that my cheeseburger?”

You’d never seen a living person imitate a pug’s facial structure so well, the man’s eyes bugged out of his head and he tossed the takeout box on your desk before turning and bolting out of your room. You followed about two steps behind with a bottle of shampoo in your hand. No, you weren’t entirely sure where you’d grabbed it from, all you knew was that it was your weapon. And it quickly became a very messy problem when it missed your target (Casey’s head) and slammed into the wall, exploding on impact.

You didn’t think you’d thrown it that hard.

“April April help help help helpppppppppppppp-'' The two on the couch had looked up during the chase throughout the apartment, Donnie was mostly curious at what Casey was screaming about. Not a lot usually made the guy make that noise. He was then distracted by April grabbing the laptop and passing it to him, she then clambered over his legs to sit behind him.

“YOU UGLY ASS CROISSANT! FUCKING PANINI HEAD- IT HAD MY NAME ON IT YOU DAFT AVACADO!”

Your boyfriend almost went vertical upon watching you tackle Casey to the floor and knee him in the groin. You shook the terrified man under you and slammed him a little harder into the rug.

“Touch my shit again and I’m gonna make the beaches of Normandy look like a goddamn family vacation.”

Then you climbed off of him and stood, brushing your disheveled t-shirt off with a huff. Donnie caught your attention and you raised your head to grin excitedly at him.

“Hi Dove! April didn’t tell me you were coming over,” you practically skipped over to the couch to peck him on the cheek, “I missed ya, are we still on for Saturday?”

He nodded in complete shock, his gaze flitting from you to Casey, who was still wheezing on the floor and clutching his dick.

“Uhhh yeah! Yeah, yep, Still good for Saturday. Uhm, completely unrelated question, where the hell did you learn to grapple like that?”

You shrugged absentmindedly, already walking to the hall closet to grab cleaning supplies for the puddle of shampoo in the walkway.

“Just kinda picked it up I guess? I’ve watched you guys train enough.”

Leonardo

See, Leo had always known that you were hiding something from him. Be it your true personality or some deep dark secret. He wasn’t really in a rush to find out, you’d tell him when you were ready. The leader enjoyed your quiet disposition anyways, you gave good advice and liked to meditate with him, what more could he ask for? What more could he want?

Well, maybe if you got along better with his family, although he supposed that wasn’t your fault, you always had been a bit shy. Even six months into your relationship with him, Leo only hoped that you’d warm up to his brothers eventually. You seemed to do alright with Splinter, that was a plus for the situation. It wasn’t that you were mean or impolite to the others, you were just… avoidant. Distant, quiet, whatever word you wanted to use. You just didn’t seem comfortable at the lair.

He was excited that April had asked to host a game night though, maybe you’d come out of your shell (haha, see what I did there?) and socialize, even for a little bit. They’d all shown up a few minutes early to make sure April didn’t need help with anything, she’d assured them that everything was handled and made sure to inform Leo that you would be back shortly with Casey from your snack run. Mikey had joked that you’d ditched the get together to avoid them but they all knew it ran the possibility of not being a joke.

You unlocked the door and held it open so Casey could get inside without tripping himself before entering yourself and kicking your shoes off. Leo looked up to meet your eyes and you sent him a wild grin, your entire face lit up with amusement.

“Hi babes! Are you ready to get your ass kicked at Monopoly?”

All the poor turtle could do was nod.

“Good. I did grab drinks by the way, April there should be a mixer in the cooler bag, Donnie there’s some of that lemon lime stuff that you said you wanted to try, Mikey, orange crush as usual, Raph I tried to go for Dr. Pepper but they were out so I figured that root beer was a safe second. And Leo they had a new boba flavor that you haven’t had yet so I grabbed one. If you don’t like it then you can have mine, I just have the peach royal.”

Beverages were tossed and they were lucky that their surprise didn’t throw off their catching skills. You and April shared a quick word in the kitchen as you took your coat off and ran a hand through your hair.

After some arguments team captains were decided and Donnie nearly had a heart attack when you picked him instead of Leo or either of your friends. He even went so far as to point at himself to make sure you weren’t joking. You declared that while you loved your boyfriend his morals were too strong to be competitive, Donnie’s were not, he said so himself.

They were all surprised that you’d remembered that conversation.

It wasn’t until halfway through the game that things started getting heated, you and Mikey were nearly jumping across the table at each other. And it visibly took all of your strength to not burst out laughing when he started yelling.

"YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS CHEATING! YOU'RE CHEATING! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE!"

April and Casey were snorting into their arms as you got to your feet and walked towards the kitchen, making a poor attempt at climbing the appliance.

"THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!"

Raphael

Raph had always been under the impression that you were never really 100% yourself around him, he knew for a fact that you weren’t when you stayed over. He’d never seen someone so aggressively avoid someone, except himself of course. You were his partner of almost a year and it seemed like you were never going to let your true self shine. However you did seem to lighten up when you were alone with him, he supposed that was normal, but you may as well have been a pair of old earbuds that only work when you held them a certain way at the lair.

He honestly hadn’t expected that to change tonight, not given the text that Casey had sent him informing him of April’s recent breakup with whatever guy she’d been dating. So when he climbed in through the window and saw both you and Casey sitting on the floor in front of the bathroom he really didn’t think that the words out of your mouth would be-

“April you’ve got another twenty minutes of this then I’m ripping the door off the hinges!”

Casey shot you a look and you shrugged nonchalantly before getting to your feet and walking over to your confused boyfriend.

“Hey, sorry about this. Casey only texted you as a last resort if he needed someone to stop me from tearing the door off.”

Raph found that peculiar, “Uh, couldn’t he do it himself?”

The man in question looked up from his spot on the floor.

“Nah dude, they’re crazy. Last time I tried stopping them from doing something they nearly knocked my damn tooth out while screaming, and I quote, “If you put your hands on me I’m gonna fucking rip your face off” and quite frankly I don’t have the balls to test that.”

“No no dude, that’s valid. I wouldn’t either. Babe, why are you so-”

You raised an eyebrow at him over a glass of water, “Violent? I’m not Raph. These two just have little bitch feelings.”

He found it hard not to laugh at that and fifteen minutes later when you left his side to approach the door again it sent him reeling.

“This shit’s temporary April. You’ve got nice teeth and a fat ass, stuff your feelings down!”

Michelangelo

There would never be a time where Mikey wasn’t a prankster with you, it was just simply non-negotiable. You were cool with that and he was aware, he was also aware that no pranks were to be pulled at the lair. So he’d reign it in while you visited, just for a short while. But you’d never said anything about the apartment and Mikey was a creature of opportunity.

Unfortunately Leo talked him out of it and forced him not to pull anything while they visited. The leader was already on edge so when he walked in with the others following closely behind you were the first person to see him. Your eyes caught Mikey’s instantly and you might as well have been telepathic at that moment. But you took one look at Leo’s solid, angry face and seized your moment.

They weren’t at all ready for the scream.

“GET YOUR FUCKIN’ DOG BITCH!”

And they also weren’t ready for Mikey’s response of, “It don’t bite.”

And Leo was not ready for the pillow that got whipped at his face at incredibly high speed.

“YES IT DO-”

So when Leo finally realized that they were yelling at him his mood did not improve at all and in fact declined sharply into a pit of “oh fuck”. And that was how you ended up on Mikey’s shoulder getting dragged away from any sort of repercussion for your actions.

These got a little short near the end but I hope you like 'em and I hope I was able to capture what you had in mind! 😁

-Mars 🌠

[headinthestaticsky]

Sanctuary with the Enthralling Moon: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 4

Authors notes: I think this is my least favorite chapter I have wrote... but, I hope you guys like it anyway.

All rights go to Stephanie Meyer, none of the characters in Twilight are mine.

“Stay afloat When it feels like it's all going nowhere And you wanna know But the tide keeps trying to pull you under Let it go You can't fight the waves, boy, it's no wonder If you wanna grow Don't fight what's natural.”

Rush by, Kali Uchis

POV: Back to Fleurs.

Today I had woken up on my own and according to my alarm clock, it was already the afternoon. I stumbled down the stairs, almost running into a wall before making my way to the kitchen. I put my head on the table, trying wake myself up. It was crazy how fast the months had gone by. November and December came by in a flash and Leah and I had been hanging out more. I had almost dosed off in the kitchen when I heard my dad speak.

 “Hey Petal, Sam called... he wanted to see you today.”

“Sam? I didn’t except him to want to see me.”

“He was asking for you.”

“Okay, I’ll head down there now.”

I felt nervous on my way down there, I wondered why Sam was wanting to see me, why Bella was all of the sudden going down there. I stopped the car and sat there for a moment, collecting my nerves and unanswered questions and putting them in the back of my mind. When I got out I saw Sam, he looked pretty different from last year. His hair was cut short, he was way more buff, and he had a tattoo.

“Hey Fleur.”

“Sam.”

I sighed and then started walking toward the beach, Sam was trailing behind me.

“So... Jacob and Bella huh?” Sam started.

“What do you mean?”

“You haven’t heard anything about it?”

“No, Bella hasn’t had a civil conversation with me for a solid 5 months.”

“Oh... they’re apparently building dirt bikes down at Billy’s.”

“... She’s trying to kill herself... she won’t make it 5 inches without getting into some kind of accident.”

“Yeah...”

“Look... why did you call me? We haven’t talked for an entire year.”

“ I know you saw Leah yesterday, what did she say to you?.”

“We caught up, and then she told me what happened between you two. Why would you do that to her?”

“Do what?”

“Uh, break up with her after 3 years to then date and get engaged to her cousin? Someone who she was extremely close to mind you.”

“I wish I could tell you Fleur, but it’s complicated.”

“It seems to be all you do lately... You never explained to me why you didn’t want me to date Jasper so bad.”

“Because he’s a...”

“A what? Besides, I’m still dating him... I lived.”

“Of course you’re still with him. Your brain must’ve gotten fried back in Arizona.”

“Hey, don’t you dare insult my intelligence! What is with you? Why are you such a DICK all the time! Besides this isn’t about my relationship, this is about yours!”

“Don’t call me that Fleur.”

“Don’t insult me.”

“Hey, what’s going on down here?”

“Paul, stay out of this!”

“I’ll tell you whats going on, your friend here is being a complete dick!”

“Aww, did he hurt your feelings?” Paul said mockingly.

“Calling someone stupid tends to piss them off.”

“Well you don’t exactly look the intelligent type.”

I whipped my hand back and smacked him, He turned his head back around and started panting heavily. His face was red with anger and rage.

“Fleur... get back. Paul calm down.” Sam said

I slowly took a few steps back. All of the sudden Paul morphed into a wolf, I was frozen in my spot. Paul then took off, away from the beach.

“Sam... saying you turn into a wolf is not complicated... it’s pretty freaking clear. “hey Fleur... I turn into a giant ass werewolf.

“Come on, let’s head back to the house.”

“I would go with you... but I can’t move.”

Sam sighed before picking me up, he started running back down to the house.

“So... I’m going to assume being a werewolf has something to do with what happened Leah huh?”

“Yeah, it does...you see us werewolves have the ability to imprint on someone. This person could be a lover or just have a brother/sister relationship. We’re a protector to that person we imprint on.”

“So you imprinted on Emily...”

“Yeah, the second I locked eyes with her... I couldn’t stop myself from imprinting, it was as if someone else had over taken my body.”

“I get it now, you don’t really have a choice as to who it is, it chooses you.”

“Exactly.”

“Now that I got that part of the context clues it makes you seem way less of a dick...I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“So... if your tribes legend is right, you know that the Cullens are vampires.”

“Yeah we do.”

“Listen, the Cullens are not bad people, they don’t even go after humans.”

“They’re still a bunch of leeches.”

“You need to have some faith in me here Sam. Jasper’s amazing, he would do anything for me. I would do anything for him... we protect each other. Even though, he does a lot more of the protecting than me.”

He sighed

“Okay, okay... I’ll trust him...  but that’s about as far as I will go on that.”

“It’s progress...”

Timeskip: A week later

It seems I was always going down to the reservation anymore after meeting Emily and having the whole imprinting thing cleaned up I was hanging around Sam a lot more. Today I was going to visit Billy and Jacob. I wanted to see if those rumors on the dirt bikes were true. Bella still wasn’t talking to me so... I would have to figure it out myself. When I got there I started walking toward an old red shed, I knocked on it, waiting for someone to answer.

“Come in!”

“Hey Jake, it’s been a while!”

“Fleur!” He ran toward me and spun me around in a hug.

“So are the rumors true? Where are the dirt bikes?”

“Yeah...what are you doing here Fleur.” Bellas voice had jumped in, venom leaked out of it.

“You haven’t talked to me in 3 months Bella. When I hear that you’re somewhere I have to investigate it... Me seeing you is a rare phenomena, it’s like it happens every 100 years.”

“Well you saw me, you can leave now.”

“Make me leave.”

“Okay you two, cool it. You can come with us if you want  We plan on riding the bikes down by the beach.”

“Oh...”

“No... she will not come with us.” Bella interrupted

“No don’t worry about it... I was going down to Sam’s I thought I would stop by on the way.”

Bella scoffed.

“Of course you’d hang out with Sam, Jake has told me about him, I heard he tries to influence people too.”

“Are you trying to insinuate that I made the Cullens leave, again?”

“Glad to know your brain still works.”

“I’m not starting this with you Bella, you’re not worth it I need to go, Emily is excepting me soon. It was nice to see you again Jake.” 

“Yeah, I’ll see you around.” Jake looked between us... he looked trapped, caught in the middle of our childish fight.

POV Change: Bella’s

“Can you believe her Jake? I know she’s just trying to get me in trouble with those bikes... she’s probably on her way home telling Dad right now.”

“What’s up with you and Fleur? I really don’t think she came here to find proof of you doing this just to tell your dad.”

“You don’t know her like I do, she’s a manipulator...”

“I’ve just never known Fleur to be like that...”

“You haven’t been around her long enough to know her like I do... Can we talk about something else please?”

“Sure... we need to go anyway.”

Timeskip: To Sam and Emily’s AND a POV Change: Back to Fleur

Emily was making food in the kitchen, she was excepting the rest of the pack to come over today so she had her hands full. I was peeling potatoes and carrots while talking to Emily. It was nice, it was like talking to an older sister.

“So you Bella aren’t doing so well?”

“No... it was so weird, we had been getting along a lot last year... Then all of sudden we got into a fight in Arizona and we haven’t been the same ever since...”

“I understand how you feel, It’s the same way with Leah and I. Ever since Sam and I got together... it just hasn’t been the same.”

“I might be able to help you out with this one... Let’s say that the situation with Sam was flipped. He was with you, vanished for a week, and then imprinted on Leah when he came back. It would be a lot to take in for someone... I don’t mean to make you sound like the bad guy but... if you put yourself in her shoes, you might understand her a bit better.”

“Yeah, you’re right... I couldn’t imagine how that must feel. But, what do I do?”

“Just give her sometime. I’m positive she’ll come around, the way she talks about you to me seems full of love. She just needs some time apart right now.”

‘Okay, that’s fair... I’ll give her some space... thanks Fleur.”

“No probl...”

“Fleur come quick! Bella hit her head she’s bleeding.” Jacob said, he was panting as he if he ran down here. His shirt was missing too.

“Damn it... I knew she shouldn’t of gotten on those bikes... She trips walking on a flat service with nothing in front of her.” 

I ran out of the house, Jake was running quickly behind me, I could see Bella leaning against her truck, holding Jake’s shirt on her head. 

“Do you need me to drive you to the hospital?” I asked.

Bella didn’t even look at me, her head was turned to the side.

“Look, you can still hold a grudge against me... we don’t have to talk the entire way. But you literally bleeding out of your head... you need patched up.”

Bella groaned in annoyance, before throwing me her keys. She opened the truck door and then slammed it shut.

“Thanks for tell me Jake, I better go,”

“No problem.”

We didn’t say one word to each other the entire trip to the hospital, nor did we talk the entire ride home. I of course, had to explain to dad why she had a patch on her head.

“She and Jake were walking on the beach, the sand was a bit too slippery and she fell and hit her head on a rock.”

A week had gone by, Bella was even more tense than usual. Jacob had stopped talking to her after an incident at the movie theater with her and Mike. At least, that’s what dad had told me. My dreams with Jasper were getting more real and intense. The last phone call I had with him seemed like the dreams were starting to get to them. 

Flashback to phone call.

“I saw you again, you were following me where ever I went, but you disappear before I can talk to you.”

“That’s so strange...”

“One day I’m going to call out for you, and you’re actually going to be there.”

“I hope so, I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too.”

Flashback over

“Petal, Harry and I are going on a fishing trip. Watch out for Bella, if she goes anywhere, follow her. I don’t know how she’s doing right now since Jake is talking to her... We don’t need another woods incident.”

“Sure, no problem.”

It seemed as soon as dad had left, Bella planned on leaving, I caught her before she could reach the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Does it matter?”

“No, I was just planning on going for a walk...I thought I would invite you to go with me.”

“Really? Where did you plan on walking then?”

“To the woods.” I lied on the spot

“Fine... I’ll go with you.”

We walked in the woods for a bit, the only sound I could hear was crunching underneath my feet.

“Do you know why Jake hasn’t talked to me?”

“No.” I half lied, I thought I knew what was happening...Billy had said Jacob had mono and he couldn’t even go outside. But, I thought he was changing, that he would become a werewolf soon. 

“Oh come on Fleur, I saw you two talking outside before you went to drive me to the hospital... You want me to be completely isolated from everyone.”

“Are... are you insane? Did that hit you took from the bike accident damage your brain somehow? All I did was thank him for bringing you back.”

“Whatever... this is all your fault!” Bella said, she then sprinted out in the woods, trying to lose me.”

“BELLA!” I yelled and began to chase after her. I found her quickly though, and I saw her hunched on the ground, picking at dead bits of grass. I heard rustling on the other side of the field. Bella heard it too and looked up, she then gasped.

“Laurent?” 

[onlyfortheplot]

I Don’t Know My Name?

➳ PART OF THE DADDY UNIVERSE

➳ Pairing:Habia Lev x Fem!Reader ft. Koji L/N

➳ Synopsis:

“I can give you an autograph if you want. Your kid said that you liked—“

You raised a hand to get him too stop.

“You’re Lev Haiba?“ you said softly, he gave a through nod, swiping of his sunglasses in proof.

“See?“

“See.“ you said. And you did see. Oh god.

➳ Warning: Slight language!! 

➳ Word Count: 2.4K

➳ A/N:

OMG!! I could barley focus on this because of the uwujima things (if you haven’t seen it its on my blog!). But, I am 100% gonna write a part 2/ extra for this??? Like it seems like a part 2 sort of fic??? Should I?? ANYWAY ENJOY <3

You shuffled the books on your desk, piling them on top of each other almost randomly. You had changed the order of these books five times, still bored as you gazed at the almost empty bookstore. Sure, it was still morning. And sure, maybe most people won’t plan to visit a bookshop at seven a.m, but you couldn’t help but wish that people would come. You had been sitting here, almost two hours, watching as a few people passed the windows, some stopping to wave a small ‘hi.’ Bu, you were glad that you could some extra cash, your sons’ birthday was coming up after all and you couldn’t expect his useless existence of a father to do much.

You had remembered, since you had been divorced to him, the excuses he had came up with to not celebrate his son’s birthday. On Koji’s second birthday he had made the excuse that he was too young to have a birthday party. You had looked at him angrily, fuming as you asked why he had celebrated his step-daughter’s first birthday. He shrugged, saying it was the way it was.

On Koji’s third birthday, you had asked your ex-husband to get him a present, a small figurine that Koji had begged you for. Then, on the day of his birthday, your ex had nonchalantly said he forgot, bu had bought him a gift card to his favorite store. You had grabbed the gift card, and throwing it on the ground. You swore as you kicked him out of your house. 

Koji’s fourth and fifth had gone swell. The cake was tasty, being made by your best friend and your mother. The gifts were even better!

But, Koji’s sixth birthday is when it had all gone down. You still cried at night as you remembered it. It wasn’t really your fault, or at least not fully. If anything it was your stupid ex’s fault. He had come to Koji’s party, slightly intoxicated. You could smell the dampening scent of alcohol. It was disgusting. You remembered, as he punched open the door and trying to grab Koji. You got angry, shoving him away from your son, pulling him behind you.

“Gimme my son.“he slurred, as he made grabby hands at him, “I want it.“

You gritted your teeth angrily as you slapped him, across his face. He looked at you shocked, thick tears streaming down his face. He then passed out on your living room floor.

That was the last time you and your son had seen him. Not that you tried to reach out after that. Even Koji had given up asking about his father. 

You watched, eyes thick with incoming tears and tiredness, at Koji, who lay asleep on the front couch of the bookstore. You sighed, rubbing your temples. You could only hope that his seventh birthday would go smoothly.

“Mommy?“ you whipped your head to Koji, who looked up at you with drooping eyes. You gave him a soft smile, waving him over.

“Come here, baby.“ He nodded, rubbing his eyes, as he moved from the couch to your lap. He shuffled on, wrapping his small hands on your neck. You rubbed his back as he cuddled into you.

“Are you sleepy, buddy.“ He gave a muffled response and a nod.

“Well, do you want to stay here or go read?”

He lifted his head up, looking at you.

“Books? Can I read comic books?” His eyes twinkled, even through the obvious drowsiness.

You nodded as he gave you a smile, making his way to move off your lap.

“Be careful okay?“ you murmured as you ruffled his hair.

“Okie!“ you watched as he shuffled off, behind some bookshelves. You heard the slight rummaging of books, and the shifting of papers. You listened as Koji let out a soft sigh.

You were glad he was mature—or more mature than other six soon-to-be seven year old. You reached under the stack of books for the magazine you had hidden. It wasn’t a bad magazine, but you felt slightly guilty as you flipped through it looking for a specific page.

“There it is.“ Your fingers brushed over the smooth page, as you gazed at the model.

Most models in the magazine were nice, good-looking, but this one made your stomach clench. There was just something different. Maybe it was the green, cat-like eyes that seemed to look through the paper, right at you. Or maybe it was perfectly trimmed hair, that framed his face nicely. Or maybe it was his long, lithe arms that seemed so elegant. You blushed as you looked at him. Whatever it was, it made your stomach flutter.

You flipped through the magazine resting your hand on your cheek.

“Lev Haiba” you read out-loud as you saw another picture, his name printed out right under him.

“Nice name,“ you muttered to yourself.

You continued to flip through, stopping periodically, to look over at the customers that began to file in. You gave a small wave as they grinned at you. Some came over to your desk, to which you leaned back slightly, cupping the magazine in an attempt to shield it from the customer's view. Some merely gave you a small greeting and went behind bookshelves.

“Good mornin’ L/N!“ You recognized , the smiling figure and smiled.

“Good morning,“ you replied, “How was your day?“

“Well, the day just started, L/N. It is just eight! Or did your boring job make you forget.“ she teased.

“Yukie,“ you whined as you closed the magazine, “it’s not my fault!“

“Sure,“ she smirked peering onto your desk, “Whatca got there?“

“Nothing,“ you said, stiffly, as you pushed the magazine towards you, “So what can I get—“

She didn’t let you continue, as she walked forward, swiping the magazine from under your nose.

She flipped through the pages, stopping where the pages seemed to be more creased.

“Oh?” she raised a brow, looking at the image of Lev, “Y/N you have a kid!” 

You scoffed, swiping the book back, and stuffing it in your bag under you.

“I am looking, respectfully.“ you replied to her amused glare.

“Sure.“ she rolled her eyes, as she looked around, “Anyway where’s the kid?“

“Koji?“ you asked,”Reading.“

“His birthday is coming up soon, right?“

“Yeah. A month and a half.“ you said, as you gave a small to the old man who had just walked in.

“Have you thought of a present?“ 

You bit your lips, scrunching your nose.

“I’m thinking.“ you muttered.

“Have you thought of getting him a new dad.“ You choked, gaping at Yukie. She had said it almost, nonchalantly, you had thought you heard her wrong.

“Yah? What about that model?“ she wiggled her brows, laughing at your emotionless face.

“He’s a model.“ you said before pointing to yourself, “And I’m a single mother with a degree in law, but works in a bookstore.“

“Well, he is a nice guy you know,“ you gaped at her again, jaw dropping at the statement.

“You—you know him?“ you screeched, receiving odd looks from your customers, “Yukie, why didn’t you tell—“

“I thought you were looking, respectfully.“ she said in a teasing tone. You huffed, crossing your arms.

“I was, but—“

“Crap!“ someone yelled as they ran through the door, slamming it open with their feet. You instinctively lept to your feet, at the cursing man. Your heart beat in your chest, as the man looked behind him, before walking into the store. 

Giant. That was the first thing you noticed. He had to bend under the door frame to make sure his baseball hat wasn’t knocked off. You gasped as he stretched slightly, his full height revealed. You felt small. So small. You weren’t short— or not too short, but beside this man. You were an ant compared to him.

The next thing you noticed, was his lean figure, draped with multiple layers, a hoodie being the top. His pants hung low, on his hips, the belt being useless. The sunglasses were pushed right up the bridge of his nose, hiding his eyes from you. You scrunched your nose, as you thought. Familiar.

“He told me I should have been careful, but it wasn’t my fault. This time. I think.“ he muttered to himself.

You leaned closer, as customers gave him an annoyed glance, but continued with their work.

“Can I do something for you. Sir.“ you added, to be respectful. He winced away, looking at you with eyebrows raised high.

“Wait, people actually come here?“ he asked, his voice low and gruff. You glared at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Yes people come to my store. What can I do to help you“

“What?“ he asked, pulling out a phone from his pocket, fumbling as he swore.

“Sir, if you could not swear, that would be much appreciated,“ you gritted your teeth. Just who did this man think he was.

You rolled your eyes, sitting back in your chair, as he walked behind a couple of bookshelves. You peered your eyes, suspicious.

“Is that normal?“ Yukie pointed at the door. You sighed.

“No?“ Sometimes it was, it really depended on the day. You just wish it wouldn’t be the day you brought your kid to the store.

“Anyway, about Koji’s birthday. Just think about getting a—“

“Cool!“ you flinched at the high voice, that you knew was your sons’.

“Isn’t that Koji’s voice?“ Yuki murmured.

“That’s so cool, mister!” 

You lept from your seat, stomping across the store.

“Thanks!“

“Are you really a...“

“Model? Yeah!“

You paused. A model in your bookstore? You slowly peeked from behind a shelf. You gritted your teeth as you saw the man from before, crouching down to talk to your son. He had taken of his hat, his silver hair tousled as he ran a hand through them. He grinned at your son, who looked at him with awe.

“My mom loves models!“

“Really? Who?”

“This one model named Lev! She looks at him all the time. She talks about him too. She—“

“Koji L/N!“ you hissed as you jumping from behind the shelf, scaring both the man and Koji.

“Mom!“ he shrieked, baching away from the stranger.

“Koji L/N, what in world are you doing.“ Heat crawled into your cheeks as you refused to look at the man.

“Mom I—“

“No excuses, young man.“ you hissed, “What have I told you about strangers!“

“But, he’s not a stranger! He’s a model!“ he squeaked under your intense gaze. You turned your head slightly, looking at the man.

“Sir, you could be a model, a doctor, or the goddamn president, but when I say—“

“I’m sorry ma’am!“ he gushed, bowing “I didn't mean to hurt anyone, Its just that the press keeps on bothering me.“

You looked at him. His silver hair falling over his head, as he continued to bow his head. You sighed, kneeling in front of him, and patting his head.

He looked up, looking at you. His glasses had slipped off, revealing his slanted green eyes. Well shit.

“I can give you an autograph if you want. Your kid said that you liked—“

You raised a hand to get him too stop. 

“You’re Lev Haiba?“ you said softly, he gave a through nod, swiping of his sunglasses in proof.

“See?“

“See.“ you said. And you did see. Oh god.

“I’m sorry!“ you sighed, as you looked at Koji, warily. “Koji, Auntie Yuki is up front.” He nodded, giving a small, apologetic smile, before he rushed off.

“Its too early to deal with this.“ you muttered, as you continued to kneel before the man.

“So Mr.Haiba?“ you asked, he shot his eyes to yours.

“Call me Lev!“ he grinned, giving you a big thumbs up.

“I—are you really Lev Haiba?” 

“Yeah!“ he looked at you, tilting his head in confusion, “I look like myself, right?“

You gave him a deadpan look.

“Okay, first of all—“

“What’s your name?“ he blurted out, blushing slightly.

“Pardon?“

“Name. What’s my—your — name.“ he stumbled over his words, as be rubbed the nape of his neck.

“Y/N L/N,“ you said.

“Y/N. A pretty girl for a pretty name?“ he sounded confused, even if it were his own words he spoke.

“What?“ you asked incredulously.

“You’re pretty?“ he said, more a question than a real statement.

You rubbed your temples, softly pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Let’s restart. Hi!” you looked up to him, hiding the wariness with a layer of warmth, “My name’s Y/N L/N, what’s yours?”

“Lev Habia!“ he said, holding a lithe hand out to you. It really was elegant. You reached out grasping it. You fluttered your lashes, as he looked into your eyes. The blush grew as you grasped tighter on his hand. He squeezed slightly, as his eyes immediately shot to your fingers. You giggled, as you removed your hand and wiggled your empty ring-finger towards him. He sighed, as if content. You smiled as you looked up at him. His eyes were so pretty. His lashes fluttered slightly, as he blinked at your face. At the awe in it.

He had lied when, he blamed their run in on the press. Or at least, he wasn’t telling the whole truth. Sure, there were a couple of crazy fan girls trying to follow him. But, he wanted to come here. Come to see you,at least. He remembered months ago, when you had screamed at a man in front of your bookstore, giving him a glare that could kill. He remembered the scoff you had given as you shrugged him off and slamming the door in his face. It was a weird reason to be attracted to someone, rather it would be something most people avoided. He remembered telling Yaku about the incident. He could feel the disappointment reeking from his senpai after he told him.

“But, senpai, she’s so pretty!“ he had whined to Yaku, who had called him a moron and promptly cut the call.

He looked at you, with your hard, peeking out from your poorly tied ponytail. His eyes trailed from your hair to your face, especially your eyes, that glowed with curiosity. He blushed.

“You have a cute kid!“ he blurted, taking in your surprised face.

“Would you—would you like to meet him?“ you asked shyly, looking at the ground.

Lev smiled, his eyes crinkling.

Yes. Yes he would.

[heartofwritiing]

I still love you.

Paring(s): Ethan Nestor x fem!reader

a/n: I was in a sad mood again so i got inspiration for this! yay! hope you like it! based on prompts 64. “we need to talk” from this prompt list. I tried to write an argument scene, also idk if I entirely love how this fic turned out. Also NO HATE to Mika I love and respect her and Ethan’s relationship 100% this is literally just for entertainment purposes and not meant to be taken seriously. 

Warning(s): Angst! (grab the tissues) unedited! 

I was planning on staying in tonight but it was Kathryn’s birthday party and I had to go. Amy and Mark insisted that I go to get out of the house and socialize. I knew Ethan would be there and I was dreading even thinking about seeing him. We broke up over a year ago and things didn’t go well. I thought everything was fine and clearly it wasn’t for a while, and I was just delusional. He said he met someone else and he didn’t love me like that anymore, so I left and we haven’t spoken since. Amy and Mark took me in and let me stay in their guest room for as long as I needed but, affording an apartment in southern California was hard and expensive on my own. 

While I was getting ready a gentle knock came at my door.

“It’s me, can I come in?” It was Amy on the other side. 

  I said yes and the door opened. Amy stood in the doorway dressed in a white romper, her makeup and hair were done very nicely to a casual look because she didn't need that much anyways she was pretty on her own. I was just finishing up brushing the knots out of my hair when she sat at the end of my bed. I knew she wanted to chat when she did this, Amy had always been a sister to me since we first met and it was nice to have someone there for me like she was. I started doing a little concealer to cover the dark circles under my eyes but part of me didn’t care about impressing anyone tonight. 

“you okay?” she asks. 

I sigh. I wasn’t sure what to tell her and I didn’t want to lie. She would know if I did kinda like a six sense, she would always know if I was lying or not. 

 “I’m fine,” I say. 

  That wasn’t the whole truth but, It’s been a year and I knew I had to face him at some point. We have the same friends and I didn’t want everyone to feel awkward around us anymore any time the other was mentioned. I’m just tired of everyone acting like everything is wired and wished it would go back to normal.

“You don’t have to go, I know it's been really hard for you and if you're uncomfortable with seeing him-” 

“I'll be fine Ames.” I reassure her. She sighed at my answer but didn’t push further into questioning. 

I finished adjusting my outfit and grabbed my shoes from the floor and pulled them on. We exited my room to see Mark already waiting for us at the front door. He held out both arms for us to take and I raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Shall we ladies?” 

We both giggled but accepted his arms.

“You’re a goof,” Amy laughs. 

-

  Arriving at Kathryn’s house it was a bit crowded with groups talking amongst themselves and some dancing in the living room where music played. Purple lights hung on the walls making the house glow and party streamers hung from the ceiling and some multi colored balloons floated in the conners of the house. It was a pretty chill looking party. The three of us quickly went to find the birthday girl and give hugs and presents. 

“Y/N! You made it!” Kathryn exclaims. She rushes over to me and pulls me into a warm embrace. 

“Of course Kath!” I smiled. “You know I only came for cake,” I wink.  

  She laughs and excuses herself to go greet more guests at the door. I noticed Tyler over by the snack table already chatting with Mark about something I walked over and he greeted me with a hug and he joked how he hasn’t seen me in years. I laughed and shoved his shoulder playfully before he continued his conversation with Mark. I never was into parties or gatherings and preferred hanging out with close friends. The only other person I knew there was Tyler; everyone else was either family or friends of Kath. So I felt like a wallflower for most of the night, which was fine by me since I didn’t like interacting with other people that much.  

About an hour into the party we were all chatting amongst ourselves until the doorbell rang again, and Kathryn went to answer it. When she opened the door I instantly knew who it was since I hadn’t seen him at all yet tonight. Ethan greeted Kathryn with a hug and handed her a medium sized gold box with ribbon tied at the top. She made a motion over to where all of us where standing before heading off the other direction to put the gift on the table.  

  He was here and my brain was panicking. 

My heart was hammering so much I was sure it would bust open my chest. I tried to turn away but I felt frozen and entranced by him. Him and his video game reference t-shirt and jeans. His styled hair, his smile that was contagious that always gave me butterflies. Mark noticed I was quiet for a while and looked over to see me staring at Ethan. He grabbed my hand and held it in his. I knew he was trying to comfort me and it helped. I looked up at him and smiled softly as thanks. He smiled back and continued his conversation with Tyler and I tried to not look in the direction Ethan was in. Instead, I turd to Amy and started talking about something random and she was at first confused then two figures came into my peripheral vision. 

  “Hey guys,” Ethan’s voice came to my ears and I turned to see him standing in front of us all with a girl. Her short green hair stood out and her demeanor seemed nervous. Everyone greeted him back with the same tone except for me but I didn’t think he noticed until his eyes shifted to me and the smile he sent me made me feel dizzy. I give him a very thin smile back. He frowns. 

  “I’m Mika,” the girl standing at his side says. 

Mika gives a small wave to the group. Mark is still holding my hand and I'm trying so hard not to start crying. 

Mark brings up a conversation about an upcoming show he's doing but I zone out. Amy comes to my side and puts a hand around my back. She must've noticed I was starting to get uncomfortable as she leans over into my ear.

“Do you wanna leave?” she whispers. 

I shake my head. 

“I just need the bathroom, be right back.” I say. She nods and gently pats me on the back. I let go of Mark's hand and walked towards the stairs. I've been to Kathryn's house many times so I knew where it was. I could feel everyone's eyes watching me as I walked away but I didn't care. I changed my route to the backdoor slider and pushed it open. I heard a faint call of my name but I ignored it, the chill of california night greeted me as I stepped out into the backyard trying to steady my breathing. 

“Y/N.” 

I froze at the voice. 

It was Ethan. 

“Listen, ” He says. 

At this point I was on the verge of tears but I shook them away and crossed my arms over my chest and turned to face him but I didn't make eye contact out of fear of breaking down. 

“What do you want to talk about?” I asked, shifting my feet. 

I could see him starting to move closer but I kept my eyes to the ground. 

 He inhaled a deep breath. 

“I'm sorry about the way things ended for us and I'm sorry I hurt you.” He said. 

“I wanted to be the very last person to ever hurt you.” 

“Well you failed,” I spit, looking up at him finally. 

His mouth parted, whatever he was going to say next vanished. in his eyes I could tell his mind was racing, searching for the right thing to say next. I clenched my hands at my side as he continued to speak. 

“I felt like shit after

” He says. 

“Then why did you still leave?!” My voice was rising. 

“Because, after what I said I couldn’t bring myself to face you.” 

“So what, you just decided to forget me completely and?” The last words coming out are bitter. 

His eyes narrowed and he took a step closer making me inhale. 

“If you’re referring to Mika, we only just started dating a few months ago.'' he seeths anger laced in his voice. 

“Why would I do that? You think I was happy to leave you?” 

I just shrugged and he scoffed. 

“Well, you were the one who said you didn't love me anymore.” My lip trembling as I thought back to that night he said those words, taking some of his possessions and driving away. 

We stood in silence for a minute before he walked even closer to me and I could hear his breathing. I didn’t see his eyes then he brought his hand up to my chin to tilt my head up to look at him. He smiled softly when our eyes connected then I started crying. 

“Don’t,” I quiver. 

“What?” he asks. 

“Don’t smile at me like everything is fine,” 

“You think I meant that?” 

I nodded. 

“I never stopped loving you.” He says and I gasp. 

 Before I could respond and say I felt the same he was leaning down and capturing my lips with his. I froze for a moment, my eyes going wide in surprise, then relaxed and let him consum me. His arms engulfed around my back to pull me closer so our chests were pressed together, I could feel my heart thumping loudly in my ears and my cheeks heated. The feeling of kissing him was one that I missed very greatly. Just the way he made me tremble with just a touch was proof my emotions regarding Ethan Nestor haven’t changed. Not even in the slightest. I reached my hands up into his hair instinctively, gripping his brown locks to bring him down deeper into me. His teeth came out to nip at my bottom lip causing me to let out a barely audible whine. Desire flooded through me like a wave and it was overwhelming how much I wanted him back so I could kiss him like this again. Over and over again until my lips were numb and swollen. 

A smack filled the air when we pulled away, our breathing was uneven and hot as it mixed due to the proximity of our faces. I was breathless and could barely form a word. Ethan moved away from me entirely and turned back to go inside. my heart sank and deep down I knew, that was a kiss goodbye. 

[hockeylvr59]

Secret Love Part 18 || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: Just need to reiterate that this man lives in my head rent free 24/7. I finished part 22 and I’m thinking that I have roughly 3 more parts to write. We’re definitely on the back half of this series now and I’m actually kind of sad because I love these two (hopefully you love them just as much). 

Warnings: angst, cursing, cockwarming, smut (this one is really filthy…fair warning), oral sex, maybe a bit of breeding kink. 

Word Count: 3,583

~~~~~~

You hadn’t realized you’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop until it went clattering to the floor. It could be worse...you tried to remind yourself. But that didn’t stop the ache in your chest or the tears that kept filling your eyes every time you thought you’d pulled yourself together. 

Sleeping in Cale’s arms Friday night was everything you needed and more. You’d gotten up Saturday morning and made breakfast together before you’d rushed off to work, a day filled with client meetings and house tours ahead of you. You’d parted with a kiss and an ‘I love you’, promises of talking later following you. 

With such a busy day, it wasn’t until Sunday afternoon that you finally had a spare minute to call your parents like you had promised Laura you would. 

“Hey mom.” You greeted, settling onto your couch, your legs tucked up underneath you. “Is dad around?” 

It took your mom a minute to fetch your dad but once they were both on the line you took a deep breath. 

“So I have some news for you.” You stated, your tone bright hoping to signal that this was all good news. “Cale and I are together.” 

Silence stretched on for an uncomfortably long time before your dad’s voice spoke up. 

“That’s great dear. I have to head out for an evening round of golf but I’m happy for you.” The sound of footsteps and the door came through the phone as your mom took it off of the speaker. 

“How long?” Your mom inquired, her voice seeming hesitant. 

“Officially almost two months...but we realized there was something here back in March. I never thought that it would ever be a possibility. But everything about it is so right. I love him mom and he loves me. We just fit together...I’ve never felt a connection with anyone else the way I do with him.” 

“Oh hunny…” Your mom mumbled, causing your back to stiffen. 

“You don’t sound happy for me.” You whispered, shocked. 

“I am happy for you...you know we love Cale...just maybe you should slow down before things get too serious.” 

“This is serious mom.” You insisted. 

“I just...I don’t want you to get hurt. Cale’s a good kid but there’s a significant age difference between the two of you. Plus he’s only there for the summer. What happens when he leaves?” Hearing your mom refer to Cale as a kid made the hair on the back of your neck bristle. 

“He’s not a kid mom. Neither of us are kids anymore. I know there’s an age gap but we’ve talked about anything and everything important related to that and it’s not an issue. We’re on the same page.” Before you could continue your mom cut you off.

“Honey...the boy is a young NHL star. He’s not ready to be thinking about settling down. You may think you’re on the same page but I don’t think you realize what you’d be giving up for him.” 

“You’re wrong.” You mumbled, your throat starting to tighten up. “I don’t know what happens when he leaves but we’ll figure it out when the time comes. Why can’t you just be happy for me?” 

“Because I know how much you’ve always cared about Cale and I just don’t want you to find out down the road that this was all a waste of time because the two of you want different things. I don’t want you to let your good judgment be clouded by lust. You’re a smart woman...don’t give up the life you’ve worked so hard to build for a summer fling.” 

Sobs wracked your body as you ended the call without another word. How could your mother say those things? It was like she didn’t know Cale at all...didn’t know you at all. She was wrong...you knew she was wrong. You and Cale were perfect for each other. This wasn’t some fantasy that would never manifest…this was real. The way Cale looked at you was real. His ‘I love you’s’ were real. And distance or time...that wouldn’t change anything. 

You sobbed on your couch for almost an hour before finally pulling yourself together. Your mother’s support or lack thereof was not going to define your relationship or your life. Determined not to let this consume you, you threw yourself into all of the cleaning that you had been putting off. There was laundry to be done, dishes to be washed, floors to be swept, mopped, vacuumed. 

And then when you finished all of those tasks, it was time to make yourself something to eat, before cleaning up those dishes as well. Of course, all of these tasks took twice as long when tears kept constantly springing up forcing you to put yourself together all over again. 

After dinner you pulled the final load of laundry out to fold. As your fingers wrapped around the fabric of Cale’s stolen t-shirt you sunk to the floor of your laundry room. How could she think that you wouldn’t receive in return ten times the worth of anything you had to give up to be with Cale? Gary had joked the other night that you were out of Cale’s league but it was absolutely 100% the other way around. 

Carrying the t-shirt back to your bedroom, you stripped out of your clothes, letting the soft fabric of the shirt wrap around you instead. Deciding it was late enough to go to bed, you locked up the house before crawling under the sheets, a scent that was so distinctly Cale wafting from the spare pillow as you pulled it against your chest. 

Tossing and turning, unable to sleep, you watched as the clock eventually reached 1:30am. Reaching blindly for your phone which you hadn’t bothered to look at all day, you first acknowledged that there wasn’t a single message from your mother after the abrupt end to your call. There were however multiple messages from Cale. 

Hey sweetheart, just checking in to see how your day is going. (Received 2:02pm)

Tell dad it’s unfair for him to kick my ass on the golf course every single time. (Received 5:27pm)

Haven’t heard from you today. You’re probably just enjoying your day off, you deserve it. (Received 8:16pm)

Something is wrong, I can feel it. I’m here if you want to talk and you know all you have to do is ask and I’ll come right over. I love you. If you want to handle it by yourself that’s okay too, just know you don’t have to.  (Received 10:42pm)

It wasn’t unlike Cale to send multiple messages through the day, just to let you know he was thinking about you. Normally they just made you smile, but this time they caused another fresh set of tears to form in your eyes, wetting your pillow. 

Without even fully realizing it, you were pressing on his contact information and then the phone was ringing. The second ring had barely started when you heard Cale’s voice come through the line. He must have heard you crying because suddenly you heard the rustle of fabric. 

“Give me fifteen. I’ll be there.” His sleepy voice insisted and then the call dropped. 

True to his word, almost fifteen minutes later on the nose you heard a key clicking in the lock of the front door. The sound of the door opening, closing, and being locked again followed before footsteps padded across the hardwood floors. When the bed finally dipped behind you, Cale’s warm body pressing firmly against your back, you let out a shaky breath in relief. 

“I can’t sleep.” You whispered as Cale’s fingers flexed gently around your hip. 

“Wanna talk about what’s wrong?” Cale prodded lightly, his warm breath fanning against the back of your neck as he spoke. And though you knew you should talk about it, you didn’t really know what there was to say. It sucked beyond belief that your mother wasn’t supportive but that only changed your relationship with her, not your relationship with Cale. 

This was good, you knew this was good. Cale coming over in the middle of the night because you needed him was just further proof. 

“No...I just...need you.” You rambled. 

“I’m right here sweet girl.” Cale affirmed. Though you could feel the heat of his body along your back, his hand draping over your middle, it wasn’t enough and you couldn’t explain it. 

“Closer.” You whispered. Within just a moment, Cale had turned you around, tugged you even closer, and tangled your legs together. Being pressed chest to chest was a little bit better, but it still wasn’t close enough to patch the holes of worry, doubt, and anger your mother had created. It would have to be good enough though, and you buried yourself into his body as much as you possibly could. 

“Y/N…” Cale breathed a few minutes later, his thumb lifting your chin so that he could kiss you. “You’re still shaking sweetheart. Please...what can I do?” He begged softly. “How can I quiet whatever voices in your head are making you feel this way?” 

“I don’t know.” You mumbled. “This...this will just have to be enough. This is already so much.” Still, your heart was pounding and echoes of your mother’s voice still lingered in your head. 

“Do you still want me closer?” Cale questioned, his hands sliding up along your side under the t-shirt. A weak nod was all it took for Cale to slide you out of your clothes, his own quickly following, forming a pile on the floor as he pulled you back against him. 

The skin to skin contact was better, you felt some of the weight come off of your chest. And though it might not be the most restful sleep, for the first time tonight you felt like you might actually be able to drift off. 

“How could she call this lust...a summer fling…” Your words were practically unintelligible as you mumbled into Cale’s bare chest, but apparently they were enough for him to piece things together because you heard him curse softly. His fingers slid up to cup the back of your head, tilting your face up to his. At the same time, his other hand brushed away the tears from your cheeks, his eyes full of despair and frustration as he looked at you. 

He seemed to acknowledge that this wasn’t something he could fix, that he needed to fix, but you could see how much he hated it all the same. Despite the late hour, the wheels in his head were spinning, searching for something that he could do to take away the pain you were feeling. 

“Can we try something?” He asked quietly. Shrugging, you nodded, no idea what he had in mind. He shifted you back from his body just an inch as his hand dropped from your cheek to slip between your legs. “Just relax my sweet girl...I know you trust me. This isn’t sex...not really.” He explained, urging your body to give in just a little. Despite not being in the mood, your body grew pliant under his fingers. 

“Cale…” You whimpered, confusion making your anxiety increase slightly. 

“Shh love…” He soothed. “You’ve heard of cockwarming haven’t you? I’m just gonna rest inside you, give you the closeness you need.” 

“Oh.” You gasped, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. 

“You okay with that?” He inquired, his fingers moving from your core to shift your body in line with his. “Just want to give you what you need.” 

“Please.” You agreed, your fingers flexing against his bicep. Cale was still soft as he slid inside you, the rest of his body shifting to wrap around you now that you were joined together. This was absolutely as close as you could get to him and it was everything you didn’t know you needed. 

“Good? Bad? In between?” Cale asked, his lips pressing against your forehead lightly. 

“Good...so good.” You breathed, your body relaxing against him. “Thank you.” 

Little by little, every worry and negative emotion slipped from your mind until you finally fell asleep tucked against Cale’s chest with him resting deep inside of you. 

____

As the fog of sleep started to disappear, you groaned feeling worse than you usually did when you were hungover. Warm fingers brushing against your temple caused you to slowly blink your eyes open. The morning light revealed Cale’s bright blue eyes staring down at you and you let out a choked gasp as you felt him twitch inside of you. 

Holy shit…

Cale was inside of you. 

Every memory of last night flooded over you quickly at first before slowing down as you remembered how patient Cale had been, willing to try anything to help you sleep. Now, hours later, your bodies were locked in the same position. The only difference was where Cale had been soft inside of you last night, now he was hard, stretching and pressing against your vaginal walls. 

“Sleep okay?” Cale’s deep gravely morning voice questioned. 

“I slept...that alone is impressive.” You replied honestly. “Can’t believe you’re still inside me.” You admitted, voice awestruck. 

“Didn’t want to wake you by pulling out.” Cale explained. “But I need to now...so I can take care of this.” 

“How about you stay just a little longer…” You hinted. “Take care of your problem together. After all...your dick seems quite happy where he’s at.” A low grunt slipped from Cale’s throat in response to your words. 

“My girl wants fucked huh?” Cale stated. “I think we can make the time for that this morning.” 

The first few drags of his cock were rough, your body’s lubrication drying up overnight and the new lubrication from waking up to him inside of you this morning not having the chance to replace it until about the fourth stroke. 

Once your body adjusted though, you realized that having him inside of you all night had made you incredibly sensitive. Each piston of his hips drew a moan from your throat and your nails dug into his shoulders, clinging to him and the pleasure he provided. Spending hours joined together had apparently made Cale sensitive as well because suddenly you felt the sticky heat of his cum spurting inside of you as he came, a gasp of your name spilling from his lips. He went soft quickly, groaning as he came down from his climax. 

“That was embarrassingly fast.” Cale cursed, his lips pressing against your shoulder. 

“It’s fine Cale...I understand.” You assured him, fingers playing with his hair. This was the first time he’d cum before you and while your body was still worked up, you were okay with it after last night. 

“It’s not fine.” Cale stated adamantly. “I can’t leave my girl hanging.” 

“Cale...I swear it’s okay.” You pressed, feeling him slip out of you, his cum leaking out of your used pussy. Before you could slip out of bed to clean up, Cale’s hands were grabbing your waist, rolling you onto your back as his body sunk beneath the sheets. Feeling his lips against your thigh, you whimpered softly, hands reaching down to expose his head from the blankets. 

“Cale...your cum…” The flick of his tongue through your folds, collecting both your juices and his own semen stopped you in your tracks, your head falling back against the pillows. 

“We taste good together.” He mused, a smirk on his face as he spoke before diving back into your core like a man starved. 

“You cannot just say that.” You whined loudly, your hips jerking as he sucked your clit between his lips. “Fuck Cale…” 

Feeling more of his semen start to drip out of you made you whimper and Cale quickly read the noise for what it was, dipping lower between your thighs where he lapped it out of you slowly. What he was doing was so dirty that even with his barely-there touches you were a shaking mess in the sheets. 

“You gonna cum for me sweet girl?” Cale mumbled pulling back for air. “Gonna cum for me...give me the rest of my seed so I can fuck a fresh load into you?” One swipe of Cale’s tongue through your folds had you screaming as you fell apart, wave after wave of pleasure crashing over your body. You honestly weren’t sure whether that was one long orgasm or multiple short ones but by the time you came down, the gentle flicks of Cale’s tongue as he worked to clean you up were too much and you shoved his head away. 

“I don’t know what you like more. Me cumming inside you or me eating my cum out of you.” Cale teased, crawling up the bed over you. Kissing him was dirty as hell but you couldn’t resist, eager to find out what your mixed fluids taste like. It really wasn’t that bad and you ran your fingers down his back, resting them just above his ass. 

“As hot as that was...I’m still quite partial to you filling me up.” You breathed. “I’ll take as many loads as you can give me.” 

“Fuck.” Cale mumbled, growing hard against your stomach once more. 

“You got another one for me?” You murmured, reaching between your bodies to stroke his length gently. “Because you ate all of it out of me and now I feel empty. I need more.” 

“Yeah sweetheart...I’ll give you more.” Cale grunted, pressing back inside of you. His thrusts were quick, the need between the two of you too strong for slow sex. Neither one of you was going to last all that long this round, your vaginal walls already starting to flutter around his length. 

“God baby...your sweet pussy really wants my seed doesn’t it? Fluttering around me ready to milk every single drop possible from me.” 

“Need it.” You whine, your body aching to feel that sticky heat again. 

“Yeah sweetheart...I know you do.” Cale groaned. “Your body is so needy for it. One of these days I’m just going to keep you in bed, fucking you full over and over again, not letting a single drop slip out of you. You’d like that wouldn’t you? To be so full of me. Your hips tipped up to keep it all inside.” 

Cale’s words had you feeling like you were about to explode and your vaginal walls fluttered around him again as his hips stuttered. 

“You ready for it sweet girl? Ready to milk me dry?” Your nails dug crescent marks into his lower back as you clung to him, your chest heaving beneath him as your orgasm hovered just below the surface waiting for him to give you everything you needed. 

“Yeah you’re ready.” Cale hissed. “My girl is so ready. Here it comes.” Cale’s orgasm was long and hard and rope after rope of semen spilled inside of you. The feeling of it tipped you off of the cliff and you clamped down around him ensuring that he did indeed give you every drop. Where your first orgasm had been like a tsunami, this one was magma bubbling up and rolling slowly down the hill before cooling. 

You hadn’t even noticed Cale pull out, but when your eyes fluttered open he was standing at the edge of the bed just watching you. 

“You don’t even know how sexy you look all blissed out.” He grinned. “And I know you like keeping my cum inside but you should probably go use the bathroom.” He declared reaching out a hand to help you up, his semen dripping down your thighs as you walked the three feet to your bathroom. 

Having cleaned up, you found Cale sitting in his pajamas on the side of the bed. Stepping into his open arms you smiled down at him feeling his arms wrap around your waist. 

“Thank you.” You murmured, pecking his lips. “For coming over last night. For the cockwarming. For this morning.” 

“Are we good?” Cale asked, letting out a deep exhale of breath. 

“We were never not good.” You assured him. “My mother’s reservations don’t change anything. She obviously doesn’t know either of us as well as she thinks she does and I’m not going to let her unfounded concerns get in the way of something that I know is good and right.” Ruffling up his hair a little bit, you shook your head. “I love you Cale. I’ve waited a long time to find something this good. So I’m all in.” 

“You have to get to work don’t you?” Cale breathed. Glancing at the clock beside the bed you nodded. 

“Yeah I do. But not until you know that everything is okay. That I want more nights sleeping next to you. Nights sleeping with you inside me. Mornings where we bring each other pleasure over and over again. I want it all with you and I’m sure my mom will come around eventually. She’s gonna have to because I’m not letting you go.” 

“Not letting you go either.” Cale agreed. “Why don’t you go get ready for work and I’ll make breakfast.” 

“Perfect.” You grinned placing a lingering kiss to his lips. 

The other shoe may have dropped, but the floor was solid so there wasn’t even a scratch left behind. 

[maryellencarter]

Okay kids, buckle up. I need money again (for the last time, pray god), but at least this time I have a fucking story to go with it.

Short version: My landlord is illegally trying to evict me and I just had to drop $60 on court costs to fight it. That's $60 that was going to pay for either my meds or the electric bill, take your pick. So I really need donations to get by for the next two weeks, after which I should be settling in at a much more mentally healthy job and in good shape. My Paypal is ethanrabbits@gmail.com and my Ko-fi is here. Thank you so much for anything you can contribute!

Long version:

So the last three months I've been off work due to a mental health breakdown. July and August, I haven't been able to pay my rent. I applied for rent assistance right away in late June, and emailed my landlord's office all the paperwork for both the rent assistance and the CDC Declaration of eligibility for the Eviction Moratorium -- the thing where if you're poor enough you can't get evicted during the pandemic because you would have to go to a shelter or a crowded living situation and be at risk for the Covid.

Middle of July, I received a *backdated* notice that if I didn't provide proof of rent assistance application, I was going to be filed against for eviction. Okay, there's a new property manager, maybe the filing got mixed up, so I go down and re-email all the paperwork and make sure the property manager sees it arrive in the email.

Beginning of August, I get a notice from the rent assistance people that the CDC has extended the moratorium for places in a high surge status, which I am in one, so I fill out and forward the newest eviction protection form which should cover me till October 3, and go down to speak to the property manager about it, when again I am assured that everything is on file.

Middle of August, two months after filing my request for rent assistance, I finally hear from a caseworker who says "send me your paperwork". I jubilantly send all the paperwork, go down to give my property manager the good news, and also -- see, I don't have a lease for September yet. I was offered one back in July, but I didn't want to sign anything until I knew what my situation was going to be with regard to rent assistance and paydays. So I brought down the paper that said "yes I am signing here to officially agree to the new lease you offered, please print the new lease so I can sign it officially", and handed it to the property manager as well.

Now, I have about $700 of late fees for July and August. This is legal under the eviction moratorium and I have understood from the beginning that I would have to pay them. My first paycheck back to work comes in this Friday, and when I went to request the new lease I had planned to discuss a payment arrangement as well, figuring I could pay about $600 on Friday and the rest in two weeks, based on my projected paycheck.

("Taught myself payroll tax law in order to predict my paychecks" should definitely be on my resume somewhere. I just haven't figured out where.)

But, dear readers, when I went down to drop off the form, there was some other client or resident in the office, so I didn't get to discuss a payment arrangement. No big deal, I figured. I'd discuss it when I heard that my lease was ready to sign.

Instead, last Tuesday, I was woken up at nine sharp by a process server with an eviction summons for me. Thank fuck, I've spent the last two weeks having a technical issue at work that's kept me getting paid but off the phones, because I was in no state to talk to people that day. Eventually I pulled myself together, broke out the legalese close-reading skills, and discovered that the summons includes one particular line item which (I hope and pray) indicates They Done Fucked Up.

This summons, ladies and gentlethem, includes the line item "The Plaintiff has not received an executed copy of the Declaration form as of the date of this filing pursuant to the CDC Order dated September 1, 2020."

Well, gentle readers, I was and am *pissed off*. I keep providing documentation to these fuckers and they keep misplacing it, and now they're getting me involved with The Legal System. I *hate* being anywhere near the legal system. I have massive PTSD triggers from being raised by an evil ADA. But by god, I speak legalese as my first language, and I am not going down without a fight.

So, not being able to get in touch with anyone to provide legal aid or assistance, I spent last Thursday trundling around downtown in decaying shoes and 105° heat, getting court paperwork printed and duplicated and filed and mailed. I dropped about $60 I hadn't planned to spend on court filing fees and certified mail costs and the actual baseline printing costs of all the documentation I needed to provide.

I did get two pieces of good luck that day. One, I finally heard back from my case manager saying that the rent assistance money for my landlord only has to go through one more person who will double-check the numbers. It's supposed to get final approval sometime early this week.

Two, I got a job promotion I've been working toward for years. Well, side-motion, it doesn't come with a raise, but I already make $16+ an hour, over twice our federal minimum wage. What it does come with is, except in rare cases I never talk to callers, I just answer them in written messages. This should hopefully be a perfect job for me, and allow me to work a solid 40 hours a week and earn plenty of money.

The catch is... it's work-at-home only. If I get evicted and can't make it to training on Monday week, I'm fucked.

So. My eviction hearing is tomorrow. If and when the judge is like "okay if we let you sign a new 12-month lease and stay in your apartment, what is your repayment plan on your late fees", I plan to be like "Your Honor, I have a payday on Friday and I am prepared to provide the court a money order for the full $700 of late fees on that date which will bring me fully up to date".

I'll do it, too. The catch is, that'll leave me with something like $200 in the bank for the next two weeks, and I calculate I need about $100 for groceries, $80 for meds, $50 for electric, and $80 for the cell phone bill over that time period. These numbers don't add up. :P

Soooo, yeah. I'm having to spend about $160 I can't afford because my damn property manager is an idiot and can't fucking print and file my fucking legal declaration. I really hope the court throws the book at the corporation and nails them with those "up to $200,000 fines" for breaking the CDC moratorium, although I am dubious because courts like corporations much more than they like stout genderqueer individuals without legal representation, however white and erudite.

But mostly, I really hope I can stay in my apartment and also afford my meds for the next two weeks. My Paypal is ethanrabbits@gmail.com and my Ko-fi is here. If you can spare *anything*, even a dollar or three, it would help so much.

God, I'm so sick of having to beg for help every few weeks. I just really hope nothing else blows up in my face... :-(

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: RUN episode 130

by Admin 1

A week has passed and it’s time for the continuation of last weeks tennis episode, this time with BTS coming together on a tennis court to decide who the BTS Tennis Champion is, excluding Yoongi who was the MC and umpire due to his shoulder. He was joined by one of the coaches who’d previously given the members lessons at the club we’ve seen them at in last weeks episode. 

Before I truly get into it, and let me tell you, for those who haven’t seen the episode yet but are still reading this anyway (thank you so much for that), there is a lot to get into. Especially when it comes to vmin. It was a feast this week, I can tell you that much (so fellow vminnies prepare yourself to get annoyed and upset with you know who again this week as is tradition whenever we get a lot of vmin, am I being shady/petty?). But the other members were comedic gold as well, especially Yoongi with his amazing commentary, and fellow namjinists, we got a few nice things as well.

Funny thing is about an hour after the episode went live, the following ask appeared in our inbox and, at this point, I hadn’t seen the episode yet so reading this made me giggle but also very curious to see what exactly even happened that led to Jimin carrying Tae, as well as how Jimin did that since I immediately thought back to that moment at MAMA 2019 where he tried yet failed to lift Tae. 

From anon: Tonight's Run episode. Omg. When JM carried Tae and pretended to give him mouth to mouth, Tae gay panicked and said 'Hold on!' and swiftly got up and went back to the court. I cannot with these two. 😂It's always like someone is brave and then the other one panics. Come on VMIN you can both be brave hahahaha

But lets start...at the beginning (and make yourself comfortable because this ended up being a truly long one, also spoilers for who the winner is will be marked):

The episode opens with the members reminding themselves (and the viewer) why they are on that court again (as well as Hobi playing so much with his racket that he ends up dropping it, aww) and also letting us know that a solid 3-5 months have passed since the previous episode was filmed. Furthermore they talk about how, due to their schedules, they didn’t really have time for practice (as in they basically conclude they were bad at keeping up with this project and mostly merely went to practice once while Yoongi commented how they probably should’ve chosen something a little more approachable with a schedule like theirs), seeing as in the meantime Dynamite was released and they also had MOTS ON:E to practice for and perform. I do love how the editors flexed Dynamite’s BBHot100 longevity in the subtitles.

Since the members all spoke toward the center, mostly turned around toward Jimin and Yoongi, Seokjin commented how they should also talk toward him, which Tae took as funny invitation to stand exceptionally close to Seokjin making him laugh with a big smile on his face. When I tell you I adore their dynamic and bond, I truly mean it.

Yoongi is announced as MC and joined by Coach Kim, to whom the members apologize for forgetting everything he taught them. Next they move along to explaining the “rules” which basically ends with none of the rules actually being explained and the members making jokes about how headshots are against the rules. Then the order and pairings for the starting matches are chosen by chance by Yoongi and Coach Kim, though Hobi and Seokjin are separated so they won’t end up playing against each other since Hobi is the only one with past experience while Seokjin was the only one who actually went to practice four times between last episode and this one. 

While that’s happening, we get a wide shot of the court and the RUN crew giving us once again an idea of just how many people are involved to film these episodes and how many pairs of eyes are watching them. (this is something some people truly should remind themselves of more often when coming up with...theories.)

The order is decided as Hobi vs JK, Namjoon vs Tae (can we please talk about how, when Namjoon is pulled as Tae’s opponent, Seokjin quietly comments how he wanted to play against Namjoon? Cute!), and Jimin vs Seokjin. After the pairs are decided there’s this small hilarious moment where Seokjin stands a little further back and pulls out his phone and is promptly snitched on my Yoongi. In his defense Seokjin says that his dad was calling him so it was a completely valid reason to check while the other members complain about him having brought in his phone at all. Namjoon even tells him that he shouldn’t use his dad as excuse to which Seokjin challenges him if he should show him his phone as proof. 

Then, finally, the matches begin. Yoongi and Coach Kim settle behind their umpire desk while Namjoon and Seokjin sit in the stands behind them to the left, thus on JKs side, and Jimin and Tae on the right, thus on Hobi’s. Who starts the match is decided in good old BTS fashion with rock-paper-scissors and we are treated to Yoongi calling Hobi a dummy which had me howling with laughter.

We also get chaos immediately as Tae pretends to be the ball boy on JKs side, though quickly gives up his job and returns to his place. All signs point toward Tae being in a fantastic, comedic mood once again. We love to see it. As the match is happening, Yoongi comments on how it’s actually surprisingly fun to watch, with which Namjoon agrees (and so do I). They all get so into it making it double fun to watch and even easier to cheer along and get emotionally invested in what’s happening on screen.

During the second half of JKs match with Hobi, Tae asks Coach Kim what kind of player JK is to which he replies that he’s a passionate one, and upon prompting clarifies that JK always stayed longer after practice to practice some more. That certainly sounds very much like JK, and fits with what we’ve seen in the previous episode. Despite that Hobi wins the match!

Next up is Namjoon against Tae. Jimin playfully takes up the role of Tae’s coach, hands him a bottle of water and carries his racket while Tae ties his shoes and then approaches the net for rock-paper-scissors. Upon seeing their shenanigans, Seokjin jumps in as Namjoon’s coach, making sure he has spare balls and that he actually goes to the net as well.

Before the match even begins we get Namjoon asking first Seokjin, who says he doesn’t know, and then Coach Kim if he’s even holding the racket properly which Yoongi comments upon saying he’s holding it the way you would a knife while cooking. Honestly Yoongi is on fire this episode with funny commentary. Then as they get to rock-paper-scissors, Tae as the most endearing human ever asks upon his angels (with Yoongi asking the editors to add in actual angel graphics for his sequence) to help him win, which he does. He gets to start off the match.

Namjoon is certainly the funniest tennis player among the members adding in little hops and spins making everyone laugh so, so much. Coach Kim comments upon how, because Namjoon was so busy, he didn’t get to learn how to do backhand and thus only knows how to do forehand (please don’t ask me what that means and what kind of effect that has because I have no clue). Speaking of laughter, at some point Seokjin is laughing so much and so hard Hobi turns to him and asks “why are you so happy?” but we never get an answer. Interestingly enough, as they announce a serve change, so Tae serving instead, Seokjin immediately stops laughing and looks focused again.

Also at some point they realize that Namjoon was playing with someone else’s racket, leading to Namjoon switching to his actual one, while Coach Kim says that Namjoon had left his racket at their gym which Seokjin comments by saying “that’s Namjoon”. We’re also treated to Nam-derer (Namjoon + Federer) and Tae-kovic (Taehyung + Djokovic) by Seokjin. Honestly, extra points for creativity. The match ends with Namjoon losing, ending up at the net and immediately being ready to bump elbows with Tae accepting his defeat. Absolutely hilarious match!

Next up is Seokjin against Jimin and it starts with Seokjin promptly loosing three points one after the other with the other members commenting that tennis is a mind game and Jimin’s mind is good. Jimin loses the next point, thus the members idea of Jimin potentially winning a “perfect game” (without Seokjin getting any points) is gone. Although it’s meant teasingly, this is still really cute:

Upon being prompted by Namjoon to bring out his (Jimin’s) true tennis skills, the game turns around and Seokjin goes into the lead. Soon thereafter the score is 5 for Jimin and 9 for Seokjin which leads to Tae calling out the score to Jimin (saying Jiminie) as 5959 which apparently is both a lucky number and phonetically similar to something you’d say in a cutesy way to a child or someone you love in Korean, and on top of that it’s also 9595 backward. Unfortunately all that soulmate luck doesn’t help since Jimin still ends up losing the match.

Next up is Hobi against Tae with Hobi “teasing” Tae by claiming that he’s certain Tae will win. The match starts off with Hobi winning twice but Tae gets into it soon enough and they actually manage to get a few rallies going, as well as Coach Kim commenting on how you can tell that Hobi has prior training. As they reach 6:7 for Tae, Jimin and Namjoon start chanting KIM TAEHYUNG, with Jimin, Seokjin and Jungkook also doing some additional “cheerleader” moves. Very sweet and supportive! Look at their smiles, look at Jimin’s smile! He does that a few more times as Tae wins more points.

Then we get to the moment that had everyone, vminnies and non-vminnies alike, in absolute shambles: Tae hurts himself (though I’m still not 100% certain if it was a joke or he actually hurt himself even if just a bit) and falls to the ground, Yoongi rushes in with a big smile while calling for a medic and Jimin runs over saying he’ll carry Tae. Which he does, just like anon said. Look at him! How is it possible that somehow Tae turns so smol whenever he’s in Jimin’s arms? Also just how strong, exactly, is Jimin that he can just pick up Tae like that despite Tae being taller, and therefore also surely a little heavier than Jimin?

Also can we please talk about how Tae hooks his arms around Jimin, how he nestled his head against him, and also about that barely visible (from our angle and due to Jimin’s shoulder) smile on Tae face as he’s being carried? And also Namjoon’s face. Of course he’s there as well because what would be a vmin scene if Namjoon wouldn’t be there as well haha.

That’s still not everything (truly this episode is a gift that keeps on giving) since Jimin puts down Tae on the stands and proceeds to give him pretend CPR and acts like he wants to also give him mouth-to-mouth which makes Tae giggle/laugh, but not just any laugh, it’s his Jiminie laugh. Catch me crying. After that Tae gets up and ends up winning the match giving us the following (it’s not too visible in the gif but my heart melts at Jimin’s happy/fond smile):

And thus the final match is Kim vs Kim, place your bets now before continuing on. I do love how seriously Jimin is taking his “coach” job as he once again stands by Tae’s side before the match begins and carries his racket. 

Since this is already getting outrageously long (and there are still 16 minutes left) I’ll just mention a few highlights instead of a detailed commentary. Also, if you don’t want to know who wins, I’d recommend skipping this part. I’ll add a bold Match Over at the end so just scroll until you see that.

Tae and Seokjin tease each other which Seokjin delivering the following line “I’ll prove that the underdog can’t make it to the top”.

Tae fails his first attempt at a serve, but upon second try, wins his first point. 

Tae asks for more balls so he can keep some in his pockets which is commented by JK as Tae being greedy for balls because his mom didn’t buy him the toys he wanted as a kid. Another member, though I can’t for the life of me figure out which, asks what he’s talking about, and then Namjoon puts an end to the antics.

Seokjin rolls up his sleeves (things are getting serious serious) and Namjoon wishes him good luck (we love a supportive leaderbf). This is followed by Namjoon wondering if Seokjin is Shapovalov and Seokjin wins the point.

Seokjin wins the first set and they switch sides.

Seokjin tries to pick up the ball by hitting it with the racket just like they’d been taught in the previous episode but hits the ground instead. Yoongi wants to give him a yellow card but only has a yellow pen which he holds up instead.

They get a fantastic rally going but unfortunately Tae loses because he hits the ball too hard and it goes OUT. JK says it was so good there should be a slo-mo to commemorate that rally which makes everyone laugh.

Tae hits the ball into the OUT and nearly hits Jimin and JK which prompts Jimin to chant something in Busan satoori along with JK but Namjoon stops them by saying that they’re in Seoul.

The ball gets stuck in Tae’s racket, something that happens very, very rarely and thus the members decide to give him that point simply because of that. Namjoon also tells Tae he should buy a lottery ticket.

Finally, because “hard work never betrays”, Seokjin wins! He also wins, according to me for the cutest smile because honestly LOOK AT HIM, how can anyone not be endlessly fond, endeared and enamored with him? That’s scientifically impossible and should be a punishable crime. Am I exaggerating? Who cares!

Also Hobi gently, so very gently, dabbing away Seokjin’s sweat with his sleeve. 

Seokjin receives a skinny little gold medal, which Tae sneakily steals from him like a little squirrel while Seokjin gives a speech while being the most humble and very Seokjin. 

MATCH OVER

After the game the members gather at a restaurant with the bill being paid by Seokjin, which is something the members simply decide upon though Seokjin makes a joke about having forgotten his wallet at home. What a nice prize for winning, makes it totally worth it, right? The first dishes that are served are seafood which Namjoon comments on by saying that he can’t eat them, but he needn’t worry because there was plenty, and I mean plenty, more food to be tried and eaten.

Overall the dinner featured some funny and interesting moments such as:

Hobi, Tae and Seokjin playing the “tangsuyuk” game which Namjoon calls childish and yet makes a game out of him saying “child” and Jimin “ish” with a laugh and smile on his face.

Jimin and Seokjin having a funny/cutesy conversation in a mix of Korean and English which is followed by Seokjin saying they should now only talk in English, which Hobi accepts. The only ones who do it are Hobi and Seokjin (who shows off two sentences with great pronunciation) and then it’s over and they switch back to Korean.

JK saying “I wanna be a lobster” to the tune of “I wanna be a rockstar” from Interlude: Shadow.

An extreme closeup shot of Jimin trying Peking duck including some ASMR for those who like it.

JK and Seokjin reaching for Seokjin’s drink at the same time with Seokjin telling JK he should order his own instead of trying to take his (later we see JK still drink from Seokjin’s glass). Jimin also asks for a sip (though he might be talking to Hoseok since there’s a glass standing between them as well from which we see Jimin drink).

Tae wonders what they’ll be going through in the next episode of RUN which gets commented as “reasonable doubt” by the editors in the subs. 

Jimin tells the story of how he went to a hair salon with Yoongi though at first he can’t remember when it was. Tae and his vault of Jimin memories though does, saying that it was for their profile pictures before debut. The story goes that Jimin got an asymmetrical haircut which apparently was so bad/funny Yoongi couldn’t look at him and left him behind to meet with his friends instead. Once Jimin arrived at the dorm, Hobi woke up from his sleep yet, upon seeing Jimin, “fainted” because he laughed so hard.

As final dish they get mattang which reminds them of the mattang JK made in an older episode of RUN which ended up basically being completely immovable and stuck to his plate. “First is cleanliness, second is cleanliness, and third is adhesiveness.” I’m not surprised that we remember these things, but looking at how much they do, see, and have to remember, I’m always amazed by the fact that they remember such small things as well.

Jimin asked how long they’ve been doing RUN for to which JK says “10 years” making everyone laugh. Yoongi though comes through saying that they started in 2015, which is correct.

In the end they get some coffee and Tae asks if they should leave for their next shoot now, something it seems they’ve been stalling on doing since Tae already asked that twice before and they came up with things they should/need to do or eat before that.

And that concludes the episode! Wow, this turned out way too long. If you actually made it this far, I truly applaud you and also thank you sincerely. I loved this episode and I just had a lot to say, I suppose. This might be one of my new favorite episodes, which I have a feeling I’ve been saying for the last couple of episodes as well, but what can I say, these episodes have really been amazing recently.

[liam-93-productions]

Note: This article is paid content on Billboard, but due to its relevance in promoting Liam’s work with The LP Shows we decided to share it. 

Liam Payne and his manager Steve Finan O’Connor from Kin Partners knew they needed to stay connected with fans when COVID-19 shut down the touring business, but how? There were dozens of different paths to follow with social media tools, video-conferencing technologies and paid streaming platforms available, but it was all uncharted territory. After surveying his options the former One Direction singer and his manager settled on an unconventional, but ultimately successful strategy. 

“We just decided to give it all a go and see where it led us”, jokes Finan O’Connor. Payne built his strategy around Twitter, YouTube and Instagram - where he has more than 100 million combined followers - but he has also turned to video-conferencing platform Zoom at the beginning of the pandemic to host small online get togethers with fans who contributed to his preferred charities. 

At the recommendation of business manager Alan McEvoy, Payne selected Veeps, the streaming platform launched by brothers Benji Madden and Joel Madden from the multi-platinum punk and rock group Good Charlotte. 

Benji tells Billboard he had seen artists on the platform use social media to drive traffic to their shows, but had never seen a team experiment with different platforms in real time and so quickly hone in on converting fans into online ticket  buyers. For Payne, this meant identifying his most committed fans on platforms like YouTube and Instagram Live and then using tech like Twitter and Zoom to create pathways into the ticket buying queue and eventually into the show. 

“They’re doing fan engagement that I just haven’t seen anyone do”, Benji says. “They really listened to the fans and watched what people reacted to. Liam is not just showing up and doing the live show. He’s spending weeks talking to fans, building out his own livestream world and tapping into all the modern ways that we see people communicate and interact and put content into the world”.

Yesterday Payne announced his third live stream event on Veeps, a Halloween party and show with tickets strating at $10. Finan O’Connor said much of the work Payne did building his online audience during the pandemic has focused on maximizing human connection while finding ways to deliver meaningful and direct experiences. Betweens his first and second show, Payne quadrupled the number of tickets sold and broke the record for most tickets sold to a single show on Veeps platform. Below, Finan O’Connor talks about what he and Payne learned as they developed their pandemic strategy in real time. 

Help Fans Find You in Unexpected Locations

"Social media is like an onion -- there's millions of people on the outside layers and you've got to peel away those layers before you have something you can cook," explains Finan O'Connor. That meant focusing resources on finding, engaging and communicating with individuals willing to spend a few hours with the U.K. singer "without bothering the other people who don't really want to hear you right now."

Early on, they noticed that thousands of fans were queueing up early for Payne's Roundup Show on YouTube, where he checks in with fans and talks about the different projects he is working on.

"There were 60,000 to 70,000 people sitting in a waiting room for half an hour before we premiered an episode, just between themselves talking about Liam, One Direction or whatever else," Finan O'Connor says. "So Liam went and sat the queue with them and started talking with his fans and answering their questions."

Fans started getting excited to have Payne in the queue but, others wanted proof it was really Payne and not a member of his team. So the "Midnight" singer hopped on Instagram Live and began streaming himself answering fan questions on YouTube.

"He was able to talk directly to people in the moment that actually really wanted to be part of it," Finan O'Connor says, growing his numbers both on YouTube and Instagram. To build off the momentum,  Payne now starts an Instagram Live stream prior to shows, telling his audience there ("160,000 to 200,000 fans," says Finan O'Connor) that the concert is about to begin in Veeps, then turns off that Instagram feed and starts the show, first with support acts and then his main performance.

"When we finish, we go backstage and we don't stop the show -- we carry it on for at least an hour [on Veeps]," Finan O'Connor says. "He'll chat with fans and do contests through Twitter to receive free tickets for the next show. Fans will vote for their favorite fans and Liam will announce the winner live on Veeps."

Include the Crowd in the Show

Performing in an empty room while fans watch at home can be a challenge for artists used to feeding off their fans' energy, but after watching a soccer game with cheering artificially added to the game, Finan O'Connor had an idea: add in sound recorded from previous live shows to make Payne's concerts on Veeps feel more realistic.

"They're shouting his name and five to 10 minutes in, you forget that these noises are not happening in real time," Finan O'Connor says. To mimic fans being brought on stage during a concert. Liam would feature people who had been filmed prior to the concert talking about how the pandemic was affecting their lives.

"Fans would say, 'We're struggling. We love this. You're giving us more and going out of your way,' and that's when it really hit Liam -- hit him big time -- because he able to give fans something they really needed," Finan O'Connor says.

Knowing many fans were struggling financially, Payne also sold tickets on a "pay what you want" basis, starting at $10, with a portion of ticket sales going towards the Trussell Trust Charity, which fights poverty and hunger issues in the U.K.

"It was important for him to make the shows about something bigger," Finan O'Connor says. "He wanted fans to feel like we were all in this together."

Build Momentum

When Payne first started thinking about how to approach the online concert series, he met with Benji Madden to get some ideas and inspiration for what had worked for other artists, like Brandi Carlile and LP, on the Veeps platform.

"Benji told him that he wouldn’t be doing just one show. It would be regular shows, building a deeper connection with his fan base in the same way an artist does when they tour in the early stages of their career," Finan O'Connor recalls. "Unlike a live tour where you repeat the same show in each city, his tour has a brand new show each time. Benji was right. The fans have loved the interaction."

Because Payne has fans all over the world, he's also tried to accommodate different time zones. But since it can take weeks and sometimes months to plan a show, Finan O'Connor came up with an easy work-around -- watch rebroadcasts of his shows live with his fans. "We watched along with the crowd, kind of like a director's cut, and he discussed how the songs were written and being played and he was laughing and having a good time," he says. "We went on for an hour and 45 minutes and it was almost like a radio show."

The strategy helped quadruple ticket sales from the first performance called LP Act 1 on July 17 to his LP Act 2 show on Aug. 29. During the rebroadcasts Payne would be "watching the comments and memes videos on Twitter, stop the show, press pause, and showing what someone says there or what someone posts here," he says. "When you're playing a concert, you can't just stop in the middle of the show and chat with people, but with the rebroadcasts, we can stop and bring in two fans via Zoom and ask question and interact and make the fans feel like they're really engaged in the concert. It's just taking the power of live-streaming into an entirely different dimension."

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Teen Reader x Avengers x Deadpool

Reader is in a teen version of the icebox because they got caught stealing with their powers (orphaned). The reader has masterd their Teleportation, telekinesis, and healing abilities. When Wade and Russell comes to the prison they start a start a prison riot/escape with the reader. (Think Black ops 1) The reader decides to finally escape the Icebox by starting a prison riot/escape. The reader then escapes they change their clothes and then hop a train going to Denver. The reader gets a job on a farm. Years later the Avengers decide to come on the farm the r is working on, undercover (disguise) to each "buy a horse." However, their plan fails and all of them gets into a fight with the r. The r loses but they join the Avengers with their powers 

Pairing: Teen reader x Avengers x Deadpool (platonic of course)

Warnings: angst, violence, anxiety, cute connection with animals

Word Count: 1398

A/N: requested by @lunchawx. I hope this is what you were looking for. I haven't seen Deadpool in a while so I'm a little rusty in writing the character, but I hope you like it. Sorry it's also so short. All mistakes are mine.

Enjoy!

I sat in my cell wondering how I even got here. Oh wait, it was because I decided to go against my gut feeling, and my friend’s advice, and used my abilities to steal. I just wanted to prove that I wasn’t just some silly, no good orphan. Turns out that’s all I might ever be to society. Now I’m sitting in a high security cell, and bored out of my mind. 

I thought it was going to be a normal day where I would be let out of my cell to eat then go right back inside. That was till I met these two guys, they talked to me while I ate, telling me of a plan to break out of there.

“Alright, I’m listening.”

“I’m Wade by the way, and this is Russell.” One of the men said.

“I’m Y/n.”

They went over the plan, and I knew it was full proof. They had no idea who they were talking to. I guess the guards underestimated me, and my abilities. The plan was in place, all we had to do was execute it.

The next few days went by as normal. I ate my first meal in my cell, and lunch was with the other inmates. I hung around Wade and Russell while I was out of my cell every chance I got. The guards didn’t think twice about my quick connection to these two new inmates. 

Last meal I ate was always in my cell by choice, but on the day we decided to execute the plan I told the guard that I wanted to eat with the other inmates. He allowed it, and didn’t question me. Little did he know what would soon go down. 

I sat with Wade and Russell like I did at lunch time. This time though, they started a fight with another inmate. Russell continued to fight the others, and Wade turned to me nodding for me to get away as all the guards on duty came running to stop the fighting. I ran as fast as I could. I ran to a closet where the extra guard uniforms were kept. I took one, though I knew it probably would fit properly, but I had to get out somehow. 

I kept walking, and headed for the exit of the prison. A guard started to walk up to me asking for my identification due to the riot going on in the mess hall. I read his mind to find a guard who I knew usually got off duty around this time. I then corrupted his thoughts into thinking that I was this guard, and he let me through. 

I walked out, and immediately headed for the train station. I picked the first train out and saw that the next train was leaving in 10 minutes for Denver. I hopped on and was on my way to Colorado. 

As soon as I got to Colorado, I asked around to see who would be willing to hire a 17 year old. One person was very helpful and told me about a very nice farm on the plains that was looking for help. I hitchhiked my way out of the city and headed to the plains to find this farm.

“I want to see how well you work with the animals first before we discuss anything further.” The farmer stated.

I completely understood that. He didn’t want someone who was going to hurt his animals, he wanted someone who was in it for more than just the money. I walked up to one of the more wild horses, according to the farmer, I put my hand out, sending the horse a calming feeling. It let me touch it, and pet it. This astonished the farmer.

“I have yet to be able to lay a finger on him. He came from an abuse case that animal control brought to me.”

I smiled as I kept petting him, “he’s very sweet. He’s just scared that people will hurt him again.”

“You can tell that just by touching him?”

“I can read his body language too, but yeah. He is just scared. That’s all.”

The farmer smiled at me, “you have a real gift. You’re hired. I’ll show you to your room.”

~*~

It’s been almost 4 years since I started working here. I have helped rehabilitate and rehome almost 100 horses, and each month we get more and more. Today I had a whole group of people coming by to look at the new rehabilitated horses. I was sad to see that the horse, Hades, that got me the job in the first place was part of the group of horses being looked at.

I was brushing him out when a couple of cars drove up to the property. I just kept working as the farmer showed them around. The group consisted of five males and one female which I found oddly strange, but I didn’t question it. Then came time for them to look at the horses.

“Y/n here will show you the best candidates, but I’ll start with Hades here. He was a very abused horse brought here four years ago from an abuse/hoarding case. Y/n here has been working really hard on getting him to warm up to people.” The farmer spoke, before leaving me to introduce the rest of the horses.

“Hades is a special horse to me. He is the reason I am here, and not in the prison system. He’s a good horse, but misunderstood.”

“Kind of like you huh?” A tall, muscular, short blond haired man spoke up.

“I guess.”

Hades suddenly rears up in fear, but also as a warning. He knew these people weren’t really here to buy horses. They were looking for me. I shoved them all away with my powers and hopped on Hades. Two of the men recovered quickly and hopped on two of the other horses and raced after me. One of them seemed to know how to work a lasso, and roped me off. 

I fell to the ground face first. The other hogtied me to keep me there. “I haven’t done anything wrong! I’ve lived a quiet life!”

“You have powers that you don’t understand kid.” The blond guy spoke.

“Maybe we could use them rather than send them back?” The man wearing sunglasses questioned.

“Tony, the mission was to find the kid and bring them back, not recruit them.”

“I got that Cap, but they seem to be doing good in the world. Maybe we could use them.”

“I could be of help. I can read minds and even corrupt. I also can heal if that’s a selling point, but whatever you decide I want to bring Hades with, but I don't want to back to prison.” I spoke up, trying to convince them to recruit me rather than send me back to prison.

Tony looked at this Cap guy. Then Cap spoke up, “fine, but you gotta prove this criminal past is behind you.”

“I’ve been here for four years enjoying the peace and quiet. Isn’t that proof enough?”

“They have a point.” Tony stated.

“Fine. I’m Steve, and that’s Tony by the way. The curly haired man over there is Bruce. The man with the long blond hair is Thor, yes the god. The woman is Natasha but we all call her Nat, and the man standing next to her is Clint.”

“Nice to meet you all I guess. Do you mind untying me please?” I ask very politely.

“Oh sorry kid. We just wanted to be sure you weren’t going to run away.” Tony spoke up, sounding truly sorry.

“It’s fine. I get it. So, was that a yes on me keeping the horse?”

“I don’t mind. Cap?”

“If you really want to, I don’t mind. We have plenty of space for it back in New York. Plenty of land at least.”

“Thank you, and I won’t disappoint.”

“Alright then, kid. Welcome to the Avengers!” Tony smiled, untying, then walking me over to the others.

I hoped my life would be different, and much better than it started out. I had a second chance to make things right, and I finally felt like I could belong somewhere. A place where I didn’t feel out of place. Somewhere with others just like me.