#as unfair as ai think that might end up being

[dwtdog]

if all this is such an "open secret" then fine. someone leak what happened then. or what? scared dream will debunk you with the receipts he has? like all of these ccs are just as terrible for holding onto that information for so long and now teasing us with that information without the victims consent(assuming there is a victim) all for fucking morality points.

my guess would be that dteam r men who like to fuck around with a variety of women, and realistically some of the women they fuck around with expect more, or don't appreciate dismissal after the fact. obviously total speculation, but it does seem like the kind of baseline douchebaggery that would give them a reputation behind the scenes with nothing concrete to really 'cancel' them for

[adastra121]

Touchstarved x The Amazing Devil

Since I use a bunch of The Amazing Devil songs on my Touchstarved OC playlists, I decided to match them to each of the main LIs. They're mostly the romantic songs, I highlighted the words that made me think of the characters.

Kuras= “Inkpot Gods.” Fighting god for the one you love. Walking a lonely path. The wild feeling of breaking free from the fate you thought you were bound to, the one you believed you deserved. Rewriting tragedy into redemption.

“Oh, what? These, these aren't tears. It's just the rain that wasn't brave enough to fall.”

“And what you see is not the dark, It’s just the gods upturning ink pots 'cause they know what you’ll become.”

"And to those gods, I will speak bluntly 'We've an accord, if you ever touch or harm him Please, rest assured that you might not fear a man But to me, by the end, you'll kneel and plea. 'Cause I'm more than what they all told me to be.'"

"And I wish that I could take their hand, But where I'm going is for me and me alone."

"If I don't make it back from where I've gone, Just know I loved you all along."

Leander= “Fair.” Mostly just vibes. Maybe it’s the gentle guitar, the autumnal sound. A space of solace, so achingly and heartwarmingly normal. The hint of insecurity and bitterness toward the world. The charming awkwardness and humour. I don’t know, this song sounds like Leander's giving you a hug. XD

"And he, he curses at the world For leaving him behind, and he's falling out of touch And they are stronger than he's ever been, he knows."

"And if you asked me to, if you asked me, I would lose it all Like petals in a storm."

"And calm throughout his melodrama They will turn and say, 'Dear heart, it's me, it's me. You don't need to pretend to be someone you're not.'"

"'How unfair, how unfair,' they'll sing As they dance across the darling rooftop wreck."

Vere= “That Unwanted Animal.” It’s either feral in a horny way or horny in a feral way. I don’t know which. Both, maybe? I imagine this is what it’d be like if Vere devoured you.

"And as you grip me like an animal that you're about to spear 'Be good to me,' I whisper."

"I'm the touch you crave, I'm the plans that you made, But fuck all your plans, I'm bored! ‘And can't you hear that scratching?’ I ask your eyes."

"And we fall into each other, the scratching grows so loud Because that unwanted animal wants nothing more than to get out… Oh, and you rip my ribcage open and devour what's truly yours."

"'Be good to me,' I beg of him. And he replies, 'No, no, not I.'"

Ais= “Ruin.” The wreckage after a storm. The strength and the fight inside you that has helped you survive until now being the very thing that destroys what matters to you. Ill-timed jokes. Unspoken regrets. Second chances among the ruin. Also the bird sounds throughout, because, you know. Sparrow. Hehe.

"Our mortar was your laughter And you hurled curses at the land. We didn't talk, we made universes Out of bitten lips and broken hands." This is basically the summary of Ais's scenes in the demo

Mhin= “Drinking Song for the Socially Anxious.” Not belonging, but desperately wanting to. Screaming silence and yearning to be heard. Chance meetings with someone else on the outside looking in. Being outsiders together. Oh, and there’s a cat.

"And I know I won't be long 'Cause I know I don't belong."

"As all my steps too far keep telling me 'This is who you are,' I should go home. I'm not lonely. I just like being on my own."

"Now I'm lying on a bed full of coats Trying desperately to cope. When you open up the door, say something stupid like 'You're lying on some coats,' I say, I know."

[aihoshiino]

See, I feel like I’m disappointed in chapter 143 in a different way, because it just seemed…off.

What made the ending of 142 so good, imo, was how effectively Ruby cut through the sense of childish indulgence that Aqua/Goro has treated her with since she was Sarina. She made perfectly clear how serious her feelings were and left him with no options to delay, or deny, or minimize the truth of her feelings. She clarified the situation down to a binary - yes, or no.

Or so I thought.

Cause apparently it took only the slightest hint of resistance on Aqua’s part (not the emo stuff he spouts later, but the genuine gut-feeling reaction of “you’re squeezing me too hard”) to make her fall back on his indulgence of her. She’s just a silly kid again.

And from that point, it felt to me, the tension was lost. The Goro roleplay didn’t help the tone, either. The ideas Ruby and Aqua bounce back and forth off each other are fine, good even, but the words and tone just feel incorrect. Honestly, it feels like it might even be a lost-in-translation thing.

And Ruby works her way back up to the kiss, but her strongest persuasion was the one she ended 142 with. Like, it’s almost outright bad drama that the words that got her to the kiss she wanted were weaker than those she started the conversation with.

This ask really helped me to click into something about 143 that bothered me even if I couldn't put my finger on it at the time, but you're right - Ruby undeniably puts this tension on the table and demands he address it in a way Aqua can't avoid and then Aqua… immediately avoids it. The diffusion of this tension is even framed explicitly as a joke.

Not only is it unfair to Ruby, because it once again reduces her to a gag character for half the chapter, but it's largely unfair to Aqua, too. The idea of him being avoidant to things that make him uncomfortable is absolutely not a new one and as a flaw for him to have, I think it's interesting, especially since it's one that he shares with Ai. But within the larger context of the Movie Arc as a whole it's part of a much bigger trend of him being an extremely passive and under-reactive character, even to things he is both present for and should be affected by. As a lot of other people have pointed out, the story makes a point of showing him as one of the shocked reaction faces at the ed of 136 only for him to literally vanish within the space of one second in the break between that and 137. In theory, I really like that the Movie Arc has largely centered Ruby and tried to focus on developing her but in practice, it just feel like both Aqua and Ruby have been left out to dry.

I'm hoping that finally having the whole arc together in front of us once it's done will alleviate some of its issues (I went from hating Tokyo Blade when it was running to now considering it one of my favourite arcs) but I'm finding really hard to imagine Akasaka somehow sewing all this stuff together. Ultimately, I'm willing to see this arc out because there are characters and ideas in the story I'm still invested in but. I'm so tired, dawg. I kind of just want this arc to be done lol

[hils79]

Hils Watches Kiseki: Dear to Me - Ep 6

Oh my god he baked Fan Zerui a cake even though he doesn't like sweet things himself. It's too cute. I can't.

I love that wiping food off someone's mouth is a drama classic but I've never actually seen anyone do it irl (I mean apart from to little kids)

OH NO! Because the reaction you want when you confess your feelings is a spit-take of beer in your face and then the person immediately leaving

Abandoned again and left alone with a face full of spit beer and a barely touched confession cake. It's too sad.

Sweetie, you ARE a teenager

Liar. Also, it's unfair how hot he looks in those glasses.

Ah, so I was right about his age. I wonder how old Fan Zerui is meant to be.

Ah, we have to establish that Fan Zerui is a noble gangster who has never killed anyone. I'm curious how he ended up injured in the beginning of episode 1 then. I'm assuming at some point we'll find out.

I love that this family dinner is two gay dads and their three gay sons

God, I really want hotpot now

This is so delightfully messy. Ai Di loves Chen Yi, Chen Yi loves Chen Dongyang, Chen Dongyang loves Zhou Minglei, Zhou Minglei loves...idk, his job?

More dramas should have elder gays

Aww, sweetie, no. Still learning how to make cakes for the boy who says he doesn't like you back.

Okay, so we know Bai Zongyi is 17 and we know Ai Di and Chen Yi are 18 and 21 respectively because we saw the candles on their birthday cake. So Fan Zerui is older than them but he can't be much older, right? I mean he's old enough to pass as a teacher but he's not obviously older. Maybe mid-20s?

Words to live by

Ouch. Asking the boy who loves you how to win the man you love.

Ai Di might be an impulsive murder kitten but I'm starting to think he's the only one of the younger generation with a braincell

Oh no. I was hoping their first kiss would be once Chen Yi sorted out his feelings. Not when he's drunk and openly admitting to being in love with someone else. Ai Di deserves better.

OMG! Ai Di bit him! He's such a feral little gremlin I love him.

Oh my god now Ai Di is also undercover at the school. I'm not sure inviting multiple gang members to your school to stop a different gang from dealing drugs is the way to go about it.

Poor kid probably didn't have much if anything of a school experience. Let him take part in a stupid contest if he wants to!

Ai Di is determined that if he can't be happy and in love then at least he can help someone else be

Oh no there's a storm and Bai Zongyi is alone. Which I think Fan Zerui has just also realised.

Aww now the tables have turned and Fan Zerui is taking care of a hurt Bai Zongyi

Son of a bitch I can't believe the episode ended here! And I have to go and do stuff now so I can't watch the next one until later.

[kitkatt0430]

Thoughts on Passengers (2016)? I personally loved it. Chris Pratt is problematic though.

I think I'd have liked it better if Aurora hadn't forgiven Jim. I get why she did - she accepted that she was stuck with this guy and had to make the best of it. On some level she did a cost benefit analysis for what her future was going to look like and decided that it'd suck less if she let go of her rightful anger and resentment towards him and made the best of things.

Considering who she was at the start of the film was the sort of person who abandoned her life and her loved ones for a year of colony experience and a novel that wouldn't be written for over 400 years, I do see where Aurora ends the movie as character growth. She's learned to live her life as it is instead of abandoning what she has for what might be.

Jim, though... it's hard to see him sympathetically to be honest. There's a lot of things he could have done differently and should have done differently before resorting to waking up a fellow passenger for company. And it's hard not to view his decision to wake up Aurora as particularly creepy given that he basically forms something of a para-social relationship with her before deciding to wake her up in hopes that they'd form a real relationship. He very much fits the 'predatory nice guy' trope that, having encountered enough 'nice guys' who stopped being interested in being my friend when they realized that a romantic relationship 'upgrade' was never gonna be on the table... I find that kind of character hard to enjoy.

That said, I do think he genuinely came to like Aurora for herself and not for the idea of her he built up in his head before waking her. And the situation he was in at the start of movie was genuinely unfair to him so I can understand why he made a bad decision out of desperation from his isolation - there is a reason solitary confinement is legally considered a form of psychological torture. So I don't hate that she forgives him or anything like that. I'd have just found it more interesting personally if she hadn't forgiven him.

Honestly, I do think it's well acted. It fits well into both of the main actor's wheelhouses. They're both good with science fiction plots, they had better onscreen chemistry than I expected, and the overall plot falling out the way it did made a great deal of sense to me. Most of the plot holes I've seen people complain about are down to the same kind of human hubris that led to real world events like the sinking of the Titanic and programming/mechanical errors from a very real world tendency to push code and hardware into production before they've been fully tested.

I've only watched the movie once back when it first came out on dvd (I think I rented it? or someone rented it anyway, might have watched it with my mom for a girl's day) so I don't remember it super strongly and I did wind up refreshing my memory by looking up a plot recap. I do remember that I did overall enjoy it - I'd certainly watch it again (though it's low on the re-watch priority list). But I think that's in part because it pings my love of science fiction and my enjoyment of certain flavors of psychological horror (I'd have probably enjoyed it more if it played more deliberately into that particular interpretation of the story) than because I found it to be a good romance movie. In fairness, I'm aromantic and so a lot of romance tropes are unrelatable to me; if I'm going to enjoy those tropes then I need them to hit differently than a lot of professional romance writers (of books or film) write them.

I do remember it having trailers that pushed the 'both of them woke up accidentally' angle which made me super not interested in watching it in theaters. The actual plot line turned out to be a whole lot more interesting and enjoyable for having Aurora's waking not being an accident. And Jim's arguably not being accidental either, but a case of programming errors in the ship's AI. It's one I'd likely recommend if asked and would enjoy re-watching with a friend.

As for Chris Pratt (he who lives up to his last name), he's definitely played into why I haven't re-watched the movie since what was probably 2017 (pre-pandemic years melting together effect). I've kind of reached the point where when a new movie is announced that I'd usually want to watch, him being in it is almost guaranteed to immediately kill that interest (such as the Mario movie). Which has had the unfortunate knock on effect of making me less likely to rewatch movies I have previously watched and really do enjoy... but have him in it.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for pushing my daughter to excel in her career?

I and my daughter have a pretty rough relationship. Ever since her mother died in combat, I have been struggling with severe depression. My wife was the most incredible woman I’ve ever known. She meant everything to me, and every moment I feel her loss.

My daughter misses her as well, but she didn’t know my wife like I did, and has been able to make some progress in moving on with her life. That said, we still don’t have a very close relationship. I work as a director for a tech organization funded by the military, and by a matter of coincidence, my daughter ended up getting recommended to the program that I am currently working with. She is now helping to test some of the programs and devices that we are working on.

Part of this job requires preparing and training to be strong enough to use these products, that way, they don't end up injuring themselves when they get them. In order to make it more fun for everyone involved, we have made it into something of a competition. We have a leaderboard and everything, and wouldn’t you know it, my daughter has been at the top of it for years.

I’m proud of her, but I recognize how it looks that the director of this project has his daughter at the top of the rankings. I’ll admit that I’m harder on her than I am on the rest of our recruits, but it has always been for the betterment of herself and our project.

Recently, we have started handing out the prototypes for our testers to begin working with, and I’ve gotten to roll out my own personal project—a new recruit, personally outfitted with the newest technology and trained by yours truly, to compete with the rest of the leaderboard and give my daughter a run for her money. My daughter, however, is pissed. She thinks that the new recruit is receiving unfair advantages and attention, and honestly, has let the competition go to her head.

I was happy to see my daughter invested in something that she believes in, and I want for her to work hard to be the best, but she has started accusing the new recruit and me of trying to put her in a position to fail. She’s been putting herself in dangerous scenarios to try to win, then getting hurt and being forced to sit out for a while in order to recover.

Also, the new recruit hasn’t been too happy with me either. I don’t know what her deal is, but she seems to think that I’ve done something to hurt someone she cares about? I’m not a monster, I wouldn’t hurt a fly. (Not unless the Geneva conventions say anything about the atrocities we commit against ourselves, that is!) She seems to be siding with my daughter in all of this, which is just low.

I don't know how to make my daughter understand that I'm trying to make her into the best version of herself. She also doesn't seem to get that she just doesn't get to act like she's still "daddy's little girl" and gets the special treatment that comes with that when she acts so cold towards me.

My assistant says that it might be going a bit far to pit her against an AI based off of the memory of her mother in deadly combat, but I think if my daughter really cared about making her family proud, she’d show me and her mom that she’s willing to put in the effort. So, AITA?

[ofmermaidstories]

I totally agree with you on not liking the current, "you must reblog or don't read it" mentality. While it's great to support fanfic writers if you're comfortable with it, there are a lot of reasons why someone may not feel comfortable reblogging a particular fic (for me personally my social anxiety sometimes gets the best of me and I simply cannot handle the idea of being perceived). I think the problem comes when people don't interact with fics and then start to ask for more content from the author (which I suspect is only a few people but it's enough to give some writers a really bad impression). I used to write for a very small fandom and even I had several experiences of people asking for part 2s or updates when the original fic had very little interaction and I was most definitely not a request blog. I've personally never written fanfiction to get comments but stuff like that made me feel used and I even had one interaction that toed the line of emotional blackmail and put me off writing for that fandom altogether so I can definitely see why some authors end up so jaded that they block anyone who doesn't interact positively (even if it's not something I really agree with). So yeah, I really don't think there's anything wrong with genuine lurkers but I fear sadly they've been given a bad name by the few people who do treat fanfic authors as content machines.

Anyway, I hope I haven't rambled too much and that you're having a good day Merms!

Oh yeah, absolutely!!! Like, true entitlement is such a problem that genuine lurkers are getting murked for; which is unfair because it makes a scapegoat out of them and doesn’t solve the real problem at all. And I say “true entitlement” because there’s a difference between a comment that’s like, “will there be a part 2? 🥺” and “part 2” LOL, which is my personal pet peeve, like—what happened to hi?? hello??? how are you??? 💀 I’m not a chat AI, you don’t get to input demands. 🤖📖🚫

Idk—I try not to be mean about even that, tho, because I suspect a lot of this behaviour is indicative of younger readers, but then it just circles back to the problem of like, how do we correct it on a community-wide scale? Because sure, entitlement like that might be coming from a younger reader, but it might just as easily be coming from an asshole LMAO. The only “quick” solution that I can see for it is directly addressing it when it happens. 🥺 And again I wanna emphasise that there’s a clear difference between a genuine enquiry and a throwaway demand!! Like, personally, I don’t mind people asking when I might update or whatnot, because I don’t hold myself to a schedule and my updates are haphazard. But if you’re a more structured and dependable writer (like andypants, for example!) then maybe it’s a different story idk idk. It’s literally case-by-case—which is how it should be, because we’re all individual people writing different things.

I’m sorry your other fandom experience was kinda soured for you though, Anon. 🥺 I would feel used too! I’ve actually come to really dislike writing generic, non-bigger-fic related drabbles because they’re always the pieces that attract the worst of the entitlement. 💀 I say that like it’s a plague of demands lmfao, it’s not, but it happens often enough that it’s noticeable—and I guess it’s just the nature of them being easily digestible without needing like 100k+ of backstory to get into it, but….. idk idk. It’s startling! 😦 And I think the only action we can take that’s even close to a solution is just gently addressing it whenever it pops up. 😔 Or blocking ig if that’s how u roll, LOL.

[myreia]

Top 10 Video Games

Thank you for the tag, @thevikingwoman! 💗

I've been thinking about this for a few days. My top 5 has been in place for a few years now, but my top 10 tends to change from year to year depending on new things I've played and how much of an impact they made or games I've revisited and rekindled a love for.

Criteria is pretty personal: games I enjoy because I find their gameplay supports their story and vice versa; games I like because it's doing something cool with the roleplay aspect; games I like purely for the gameplay; games for nostalgia or personal importance; games I think did something interesting with an interactive format to tell a story.

I'm going to exclude interactive fiction or visual novels here for a few personal reasons.

tagging @lilas @greyyourwarden @coldshrugs @galadae @a-shakespearean-in-paris @hylfystt @allaganexarch @sunshinemage @impossible-rat-babies @roguelioness if you want!

10. Heroes of Might and Magic III

I grew up with the HoMM series. It was the first computer game I was old enough to understand; I spent hours exploring maps, building up my towns, getting freaked out when the enemy AI surprised me. Hours in the custom map maker and campaign maker trying to create playable stories. The third installment in the series has so much going for it--colourful world, really beautiful creature design, interesting and challenging campaigns that really made you think about the systems and utilize them in different ways. It's light on story, but the story that is there is interesting if you spend a couple minutes thinking about it.

This series is probably the basis of turn-based combat being my favourite type of gameplay.

The music is also really nice!

09. Persona 3

I feel like a Persona game needs to be on this list, but I wasn't sure which one. My introduction to the series was backwards: I played Persona 5 first, then P4, then P3. I think the thing that always stands out to me about Persona is how much fun the turn-based combat, combined with its sometimes bonkers monster design, the dynamics between the core cast, its in-depth storytelling, and, of course, the music.

There's something about 3's characters and story that always comes back to me. The conversation it opens about death, grief and loss is very raw but also very compassionate. I think it has one of the most thoughtful handling of existentialist and nihilistic viewpoints in gaming. It has the kind of ending that will haunt you after you witness it. You might not think about the game for years but you'll have a day where you remember Persona 3's ending and get pulled right back into thinking on it.

And Mass Destruction is here.

08. Dragon Age (Series)

I can't choose one! I can't!

Dragon Age: Origins was the game that got me into gaming. I hadn't really played anything since HoMM as a kid. The flexibility of its UI and systems to be a kind of cross between an action RPG-style and a CRPG style made it really friendly for getting used to gameplay mechanics I was not used to. The storytelling and characters pulled me right in, and I think DA:O still is one of the best examples of interactive storytelling where the player actually has an impact on the unfolding narrative to date.

Dragon Age 2 continues to fascinate me. There are obvious issues with the gameplay, design, and overall storytelling, but the foundation of what they were trying to execute is really unique. The three-act structure is very theatrical and almost Shakespearean, using Varric as a bookend to narrate the whole experience adds another layer (what is the truth? what is fabricated for entertainment?). Act 2 has some of DA's strongest storytelling and really digs into its dark fantasy roots even as it rushes towards a conclusion that is unavoidable, grotesque, and bitterly unfair. I played this one last so I knew what I was getting into when I played it, so I was able to temper my expectations a fair amount and enjoy it for what it is, rather than what it could have been.

Dragon Age: Inquisition was the second DA game I played and it's the one I have the most hours in. The combat is a lot of fun, it has one of the most versatile CC's to date. The landscapes are beautiful and were a lot of fun to explore on the first few playthroughs. I'm still very fond of the story and the characters.

DA's transition from a more CRPG style and dark fantasy genre to an action RPG style and high fantasy genre is a shift that will probably always fascinate me and I love to talk about it.

If I had to narrow it down: it's DA:O for the overall story, DA2 for the characters, DA:I for the combat and gameplay.

I don't have much to say about the music other than Trevor Morris went off for Trespasser's Lost Elf theme.

07. Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning

I'll be honest, I almost put Jedi: Fallen Order here because I wanted to talk about my favourite Star Wars game but it's been a hot minute since I last played it and I think Amalur has been on my favourites list for too long to kick it off.

Kingdoms of Amalur is really good and really bad and it is trashy and I love it.

If you go digging you can find its whole sordid history, but the reasons I'm very fond of it:

whacky, campy art style

colourful worlds

THE COMBAT

The combat in this game is excellent. It is freeform. You can respec at any time. There are three main classes (warrior, rogue, mage) and you can multiclass them whichever way you want. Warrior/Rogue, Mage/Rogue, Warrior/Mage, Warrior/Mage/Rogue... It's so much fun to change it up on the fly. Combat feels smooth, and once it clicks it's really easy to feel like a badass.

This game FINALLY gives mages a cool weapon. No more scepters or staffs, we're going for magic chakrams and I love it. Best weapon in the game, hands-down. Every fantasy game that has come out after 2012 that hasn't given their mage classes chakrams is missing out.

Amalur's a campy power-trip. The worldbuilding is really interesting if you want to take the time to dig into it, but you don't have to. Its MMO roots are there in much of its quest design, which is sometimes a good thing and sometimes a bad thing. YMMV with the main characters (there aren't any companions here, there are a couple of people who regularly pass in and out of your PC's life), but in general everything is just big goofy fun that shouldn't be taken too seriously.

Again, don't have much to say about the music other than Grant Kirkhope did Grant Kirkhope things. The Dalentarth theme has some nice atmospheric stuff happening.

06. Final Fantasy XV

I love Final Fantasy, it's one of my favourite game series/franchises, but I'm only allowing myself one FF game to be on this list and it has to be this one.

FFXV is a weird game. Troubled development history, troubled story, troubled execution. It has a lot of good ideas packed into it that may or may not be done well, kind of confusing worldbuilding, and a kind of confusing story that asks you to do homework in advance (you can watch Kingsglaive and Brotherhood if you want to; I didn't, but I did end up having to read a few wiki articles to make sense of things). However, the final version of the game (Royal/Windows edition) has so much heart and soul and love in it. This is my comfort game, and I find myself returning to its world a lot just to drive around.

I think it helps to reconfigure FFXV from a grand sweeping epic adventure fantasy to a character study. The four boys and the bonds of their very deep friendship are at the heart of everything in this game. And if it does one thing really well, it's that it makes you feel for them and everything they go through and you're going to be a sobbing little puddle on the floor by the end of it.

The ending is sad. I love it, but it makes me cry. About halfway through you get an idea of where this is going and I'm so glad they commit to it because Noctis' story hinges on it.

The world is a lot of fun to drive or ride (chocobos chocobos chocobos) around in. You can fly, but you may get the boys killed because crashlanding it very easy to do. Pitioss Ruins is a thing that exists and it breaks my brain. The combat is a lot of fun once you get used to it (the secret is to press and hold the buttons, button mashing doesn't get you very far).

It also has one of my favourite FF villains. Ardyn is delightful. The level of spite emanating off this man is just a wonder to behold.

Oh, and the music is really, really good. This is probably my favourite FF soundtrack.

05. Nier: Automata

Um. Hm.

I don't know how to explain this game.

It's uh...

I don't know how to put it other than the utilization of game mechanics and UI within its story structure blew my mind. This game has an ending I still think about because I can't untangle it. Your first 15 hours is going to feel like a pretty standard scif/fantasy JRPG. Then you're going to hit what feels like the end of the story, except it's not, be asked to do something and then you're going to make faces and throw your hands in the air and ask WHY is the game asking me to do this again.

You're going to get through that next 15 hours, hit another point that feels like it should be the end of the story--

And then.

And then.

I don't know how to say that the silly android vs robots game where you can blow 2B up to see her butt (yes that's a thing, ignore it) is one of the weirdest but most compelling gameplay experiences I have ever had. It's weird. But it works. But it's weird. But it works.

Also the gameplay is really fun but it's sheer chaos because it changes what it wants to do every 5 minutes because it gets bored. You go from bullet hell shooter to hack-n-slash action with combos, to hacking into a robot and running around in a pixel world dodging balls.

The balls are endless.

The balls are everywhere.

We become as gods balls.

Have I mentioned that the music is really good.

04. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

This is another comfort game. There's something about BOTW's world that is just so relaxing. I love exploring every nook and cranny, cresting the hill to see what's on the other side. I am content to ignore the main quest just to see if I can scale a mountain in the rain (no) or terrorizing an enemy camp by launching a burning tree trunk into the middle of their campfire.

I feel like all the systems work together cohesively, building off each other in a way that lets the player flex their imagination, test things, and see what happens.

I remember the score getting some flak because it didn't have the bombastic and catchy themes that previous Zelda games have, but the scaled back and atmospheric tone really works for the game. BOTW is a gently horrifying post-apocalyptic world. The moments when you do need strong themes, the score delivers in spades.

03. Horizon: Zero Dawn

I love this game so much.

Aloy is such a joy to play as. Her characterization is set in stone, but when you do have diverging dialogue options, everything feels like something she would say so it's really easy to roleplay her. She does talk a fair amount as she roams around the world, but Ashly Burch's voice acting is really lovely to listen to.

HZD has one of my favourite post-apocalyptic worlds. The worldbuilding is in-depth, the developers have thought everything through in how these societies came to be and now function. The combat system is so much fun; early techniques provide a foundation for later ones, and you have options in how you want to tackle various enemies or problems. There's a lot of flexibility in how to go about things, so one person's playstyle may be completely different for someone else.

The animations and sound designs for Aloy's assorted bows are so satisfying.

This is another game where I love wandering around the world so much I usually forgo fast travel because I love the journey, even if it takes me longer.

Not much to say about the music other than the themes for Meridian are very nice.

02. Hades

Hades is probably the most polished game I have ever played. It is virtually bug-free. The gameplay compliments the story and the story compliments the gameplay in such a way that you cannot separate them. It feels like every choice behind this game's design was done with purpose and precision.

The art style is gorgeous. The music is off the charts - sometimes you can't tell what came first, the level design or the music, they're so in-sync with each other.

The characters are delightful. Everyone has understandable motivations and desires; everyone is ridiculously likeable, particularly Zagreus himself.

It's so easy to fall into the pattern of "just one more run" because you want to stay in this world a little longer, you want to push yourself further, you want to challenge yourself again. And even when you don't complete a run, losing or messing up doesn't feel like a punishment because you have all your favourite characters waiting for you back at home with another opportunity to talk to them.

01. Fire Emblem: Three Houses

I don't know where to start because I love this game so much. Turn-based combat with an in-depth levelling system and a diverging storyline so there are actually FOUR separate stories in one? Catnip to me.

The combat system is exactly the kind of turn-based combat that I can get addicted to; I love the risk/reward, the chance of failure, yelling at the AI for getting the better of me because I put a unit in a risky spot and now they're permanently dead and I can't rewind time.

Each of the stories can stand on their own and give really different perspectives on unfolding events. How you view one character on one route will be completely different when you see them on their own and get a chance to get to know them.

The cast of characters is very large, but everyone has their place and everyone has their own journey and arc to go on. The character interactions are delightful. Because of the house and recruitment system, it is really interesting to see characters you recruited out of their houses and into yours and how they change when the story diverges and puts them down a different path--especially if that path puts them in direct conflict with a former friend.

The English dub for this game is out of this world, it is one of the best ENG dubs I've heard in years. The music has some absolute bangers for combat music, especially in the endgame. Shout out to my favourite, Chasing Daybreak and also Funeral of Flowers because it's underrated.

[thunderheadfred]

Under a cut for minor Act 1 spoilers

Screenshots were being really buggy today (actually most things were, idk why, need to free up some space probably) but I am making progress through the plot. As usual in these kinds of games, I tend to wander around looting every box I see and only tangentially resolving plot points

Did EVERYONE in this camp make some kind of pact with a dark entity???? My character is just here like, “my only curse is how strong I am”

I love Karlach and Lae’zel but rarely use them in my party because my lady can handle all the punching by herself, which makes me a bit sad. Wyll is also not much use to my build but I’m less sad about that because he’s so lawful good it’s kind of grating. But at least he has horns now. that’s a little more interesting, good for him

Usual party is standard fighter / rogue / wizard / healer because if it ain’t broke…. Also Astarion, Shadowheart, and Gale get along better than I would have thought. Sort of

Astarion is ludicrously OP at level 4. I let him kill three ogres all by himself while the rest of the party just sat around eating lunch. He also stabbed some goblin kids to death, which seems unfair. I’ll probably mutliclass him into a ranger since I mostly end up using him for stealth and ranged attacks

I fought the hag and bullied her into giving me a stat boost AND letting the pregnant lady go - I then resurrected the pregnant lady’s husband after deciding that making her babysit a pet zombie was funnier than snapping the wand in half and telling her she was an idiot

I’ve fed Gale three artifacts, and he has turned into my most annoying companion. Not because of the artifacts but because for whatever reason his AI constantly wants to fall off roofs and step in traps when I did not say to Go There you silly wizard

Astarion has high enough approval that he wants to trigger the horny scene already but this Tav isn’t ready for that so at this point I’m just putting off talking to him lol. I think I’ve gotten most or all of his Act 1 camp cutscenes?

I got Halsin out of the bear-poking cage, but didn’t team up with him yet because he was like “uhh I might go bear crazy on these goblins at any moment just fyi” and that didn’t seem very helpful

Tomorrow probably wraps up Act 1, we’ll see

[nebuvoid]

Ok actually that post about artists pretending they're reposting their own art is still bothering me, specifically this version with that person justifying it.

Thing is, I get what they're getting at. The guilt or general unpleasantness you feel when you see someone, be it an artist or a street vendor, struggling and announcing their work or product, demanding your attention. And by removing that step entirely through reposting people can just consume (I hate using the word but it sadly fits exactly here) the work without being confronted with those feelings.

But guess what? That's not only douchey, it's childish. You just want to consume all these amazing works online, for free, without giving it a single thought. You want to go "Oh this mysterious cool art from some mysterious nameless artist is beautiful!" And that's the end of that.

By removing the artist from the equation it becomes a parentless product in the void that you can just gawk at with no consideration for anything behind it. Just mindlessly consume.

Part of adulthood is being able to deal with the minute good and bad feelings you are faced with on a daily basis. And you need the exposure to know how to deal with it. You know, like a child growing up?

Not to mention it's just plain unfair to steal someone's hard work in the name of internet points. Hell by stealing their exposure you might also be stealing the bread on their table. Is that something 'repost lovers' ever think about? You're not removing any of that cringe guilt that bothers you so much about earnest art posts, you're just shifting it to another place and then pulling the curtain on it.

Whoever thinks "Oh actually reposting is so much better and makes sense, artists asking for attention on their own hard work are cringe embarrassing" is a piece of shit with no sympathy, plain and simple. Grow up.

Don't be surprised when less and less artists share their art online. It's already started to happen, Instagram isn't as eternal as you think, countless artists have pulled away from Xitter.

P.S.: The whole AI art shitshow actually feeds into exactly that. No need to think about the artist behind it when the AI machine steals assets from countless real artworks to produce something """"new"""".

[youryanderedaddy]

♡100 followers special♡

Guys, I would like to thank all of you for all the support since I started this blog, you are the best <3 Btw this is the fic Elon Musk doesn’t want you to see lol, jk jk 

Title: Humanity

Words: 3.6k 

Summary: When you get sold to an odd looking robot after the last failure of a rebellion, things go better than you had expected. Until they don’t. 

tw: robot/AI apocalypse au, dystopia au, slavery, slight non - sexual public nudity, discrimination, vulgar language, mention of death and child abuse (in the past), obsessive behavior, non - consensual touching, angst 

              AD 3061y., 14 September

 Your hometown was in ruins, shattered by the Forces and left without any source of food, clean water or reliable manpower. The rebellion had failed just like the first ten attempts and as much as you had wanted to believe this time would be different, your dreams stayed nothing more than a way to cope with the harsh reality. Any intelligent individual had either managed to flee before the prosecution or died in agony while trying. You could still hear their pained screams ringing in your ear, the desperate look in their pupils sealed forever in your mind along with the sound of heavy breathing slowly fading into the background like your own hopes for a better future.

 The ones who decided to play meek and close their eyes to the inhuman torture happening in the area were spared, but what awaited them could potentially be worse than death itself. You were part of the flock of pitiful weak humans who had surrendered to the heartless machines wanting nothing more than to see mankind squirm and kneel underneath their mechanic heel like a bug. And now you would face the hour of judgment – tired and exhausted, heavy rusty chains around your bruised ankles making every next step a little harder than the last one. But you were certain that the most painful humiliating event hadn’t taken place yet and the thought made your blood run cold. You could recall the countless stories you used to hear on the streets from your friends about androids stealing kids and selling them like cattle to the most powerful leaders of society. Back then you would laugh at them, finding the ideas ridiculous, better fit for a conspiracy theory or a legend rather than an actual threat. But during that time life was easier – the robots were still your friends, just your average citizens, equal to the humans in every manner. It wasn’t until ten years later that some of them realized just how much better, stronger and smarter than the people they really were. That’s how the apocalypse started and that’s how it was going to end. These days the mortals were becoming extinct with the population cut down to one million. You didn’t have names or rights to any possession. Your mere survival had one purpose only – to entertain the machines so they could feel human again. And right now you were being dragged to Soraq, also known as the biggest slave market in the country.

----

 It was just as terrifying as you had imagined it to be. The Capital was supposed to express wealth, luxury and maybe even happiness but your old human views were easily opposed when faced with the mud  covering what was left of the pavement and the pale exhausted bodies of the mortals wandering the streets searching for a hot meal and a little bit of kindness it was clear no one wanted to provide. You reached out to help a young girl sobbing all by herself on the ground but the Officer roughly yanked your shoulder back and ordered you to keep going – his cold hard touch was enough to bruise your skin.

 After a few long minutes of uncertainty your keeper finally stopped, pulling you up some black stairs leading to a small stage and if you weren’t too busy looking around for the others who were captured, you might have noticed the crowd gathered inches away from you. Soon enough you were forced to redirect your attention as you heard the approving screams and cheering below. There were hundreds of robots staring at you, smirking maliciously, pinning you with their cold calculating gazes. You finally realized that this wasn’t just a bad dream or a nightmare, something unreal you could easily run away from by opening your eyes. You were about to become property and the worst part was the way the cruel machines perfectly resembled people – they looked the same except for the dark red pupils each possessed which glowed when going into a fight mode. But unlike humans the androids had gotten rid of their most intimate emotions and fears, turning themselves into empty shells, shiny and murderous with no way to experience anything properly, be it pleasure or pain.

 “Ladies and gentlemen!” The Officers started off with a low chuckle, his heavy hand wrapped tightly around your arm. His voice should have been programmed to be monotone but now it had a playful edge to it. “Today our dear subjects have decided to be feisty yet again. They still haven’t learned their lesson it seems.” He grinned eerily, quickly followed by the mocking laugher of the crowd. Some even shouted slurs and insults but you tried to focus on controlling your feelings. You needed to stay calm if you wanted to survive. “We really can’t expect more from the mankind. They are primal after all, they just can’t learn from their mistakes.” The male robot paused for a second to fix his microphone. “It’s in their DNA code to be foolish and pathetic. That’s why we need to take better care of them.” He whispered the last line down your neck and despite knowing that the machines didn’t have actual lungs, you could swear you felt his cold breath on your sensitive skin.

 “The woman is in her early twenties. Her background is unknown, but she certainly looks like someone you would want in your collection.” The android continued talking as if you weren’t there, his hands all over your tinier frame. The mass was yelling, but you only made out the words „down”, „strip” and „human”. Your eyes watered involuntarily and you let the tears stream down your cheeks in spite of the weakness they showed. It didn’t matter – it couldn’t get any worse so you could at least let yourself experience such little bits of comfort. In the next moment the Officer ripped your old ragged t-shirt, exposing your breasts to the cold autumn air. The hot red humiliation washed over you as the degrading whistles pierced trough your heart. It was such a cruel unfair punishment and you couldn’t even keep your composure long enough to not break down ugly – crying right there.

 “The bidding starts at one thousand eros!” The robot’s evil voice echoed through the area, reaching the market borders. Suddenly all the attention was on your scared vulnerable half-naked self. More than ten androids raised their hands, making your stomach turn in terror. Most of them had unpleasant appearances, resembling old people, usually men. “Do we have two thousand eros?” The officer added quickly afterwards having seen the shown interest. This time there were only five bots willing to buy you for so much money – but the show was far from over. “Am I seeing three thousand eros?” Your keeper kept going, determined to drain your bidders off their wealth, but to his utmost surprise now there were only two robots with their hands in the air – one seemingly younger and the other looking all wrinkled and bitter at the world. You silently prayed that fate would work in your favor only this time and hand you over to the man who would treat you more like a living being and less like an object.

 “Ten thousand eros.” Suddenly the android with a kinder appearance declared out loud, his cold stern gaze fixed onto you. The other male hesitated for a moment, probably wondering whether or not you were worth so much money, but at the end he cursed under his breath and slowly put his hand down with a sour expression. “Sold to K-010 for ten thousand eros!” The automatic voice of the Officer was ringing in your ear like an alarm while the crowd was shouting and cussing, some going as far as to criticize your new owner for giving up his monthly salary for a “cheap human whore”. Next he was invited on the stage to sign off all the needed documents leading to your freedom being ripped away forever and you were injected with a tiny chip which would make your location visible to your buyer at any given time. The android looked at you soon after and in one swift move he managed to place his leather coat on your shoulders, muttering at you to cover up. You obeyed, embarrassed by the reminder that your upper half was still fully exposed to all the hungry prying immortals. When the chains were finally removed, the robot took you by the hand and led you to a small white flying car with a yellow lily drawn on top – the brand was popular among the most powerful members of the Forces.

 “Don’t even think about running away.” K-010 growled when he noticed the way your attention drifted to the nearby road before finally taking your seat. You knew it was pointless now that the tracking device was deep into your skin but deep down you still couldn’t kill the last bit of hope screaming at you to do something before you were too far away to find home again, wherever it was. “If you so much as look outside while we drive, I will use my lasers to turn you into ash. Okay?” You nodded meekly and sank into the soft comfortable seat, wishing that your body would stop shaking in fear but to no avail.

---

 The journey was long and silent but it made you remember the days when music was still allowed and you used to turn the radio all the way up in your mother’s car. You would sing loudly until your throat hurt and your friends would ask you to just shut up and focus on the road. Everything was so normal and happy back then. The stinging nostalgia threatened to overcome so you tried to focus on something else. You finally faced your owner in an attempt to study his appearance. He was probably in his late twenties, his hair white with some black locks here and there, a fashion trend you usually didn’t care much for. You couldn’t afford to bother with your hairstyle when you were constantly running for your life after all. The robotic male had sun-kissed brown skin, he was taller than most human men and his lips seemed softer than most robots’. But the biggest mystery laid in his deep dark eyes, they looked scarlet at first but the more you stared, the easier it was to realize the color was actually brown.

 “Are you a cyborg, K-010?” You asked in a small voice out of the blue, breaking the peace and quiet in the air. The android didn’t spare you much attention with his gaze fixed onto the open sky serving as a road, still he opened his mouth slightly to respond. “My name is Kyle, the numbers are just a formality.” He inhaled sharply as if he was reminiscing a bad memory. “And yes, I am biologically human – just with a few practical upgrades.” You had heard of such people before, the ones willing to become an experiment so they could join the high society oppressing their own neighbors, friends and relatives, setting the lands on fire and destroying the dying environment but you had never met one until today. Honestly, you felt betrayed. It was one thing to be some unfeeling machine’s plaything and entirely another to be owned by someone with a functioning heart even though they weren’t too keen on using it properly.

 “Why would you do that?” You couldn’t stop the question from leaving your lips in the next moment. “You should know what humans have to go through just to stay alive. Today hundreds of us were crushed and sold like some animals! Yet you changed yourself to appeal to their disgusting standards.” You raised your voice, the hot tears already spilling down your cheeks yet again, your fists clenched in pure anger at the foolish greedy man. He simply shook his head and leaned back. “I had my reasons, sweetheart. You don’t know anything.” With that the conversation had ended, you could try and argue or even blame him for being a selfish bastard but it wouldn’t have done you any good so you decided against it. It didn’t matter much anymore.

----

 A few months went by slowly even though time meant little to someone in your position. Living with Kyle wasn’t as terrible as you thought it would be – his mansion was big and spacious, luxurious even. You had your own room and you were allowed to explore the house in your free time. You didn’t have many duties to attend to, your work mostly revolved around cooking, cleaning and keeping company with your owner when he was too tired to keep the robotic mask on and just wanted something sweet, something weak, something more human around. He didn’t want much out of you so you tried to do your best and stay on his good side – there was always a warm meal waiting at the table at night, every window was carefully wiped from the previous dust and the glass was now shining brightly, and you would listen for hours on end to the cyborg’s ramblings no matter how dreadful it could be sometimes.

 But it couldn’t be denied that the man had some odd habits, even if you were to overlook him buying a living being instead of simply hiring a maid. For example, you knew how thin the walls actually were because you could hear him cry almost every night. The half-robot would hold you close any time the news were too loud or a bottle of beer had fallen and shattered on the ground. Still you weren’t allowed to leave his home so all the doors leading to the outside world were locked while he was away or at work. And there were these weird long cuts on his shoulders you had managed to take notice of the first time your master had asked you to bathe him. You hadn’t meant to prey upon his naked form, but the task had been so awkward you needed something to focus on to drive the unpleasant thoughts away. The injuries looked deep and the man would close his eyes any time the soap made contact with them. Finally one day you gathered the courage to ask him what had caused the raw scratches. You were messaging his scalp gently, applying jasmine in his roots, trying to soothe his nerves and get to the information.

 “ ’S not important. ” K-010 answered lazily while arching his back into your touch. More often than not the male would melt under your care and you couldn’t help but wonder just how lonely it was to be neither a human nor a machine. “She is dead now.” He whispered darkly, secretly hoping it wouldn’t reach your ear, yet it did. “Who is dead?” You questioned him after a while, stroking his wet locks until you heard him moan. You were getting better and better at provoking a reaction from the cyborg and despite knowing it was manipulative and a little devious, he was still the ruthless owner who held your one and only life in his palms. You needed to be sneaky if you wanted a safe, comfortable life.

 “My mother.” Kyle added quickly before looking at the blue ceiling, the glossy material copying both of your reflections. The mention of the woman made the sensitive skin of his nape crawl but he kept talking. “The crazy bitch used to beat me every. She even tried to kill me a couple of times.” A slight smile appeared on his full red lips. “It didn’t work out in the end, unfortunately.” So that’s where the cuts were from – he had been violated in his childhood by no other than the person supposed to look after him. You had always hated abusive parents taking advantage of their authority and even now your own imagination made your heart ache at the picture it painted. A small boy being hit over and over until there his whole body was bruised and bloodied. A child with no one to turn to. It didn’t excuse your master’s evil doing but it certainly explained a lot. “Don’t make such a sad face, darling.” He cooed at you, reaching out to pinch your cheek. “I will always be grateful to the Forces since they gave me the power I needed to finally free myself from her grasp. I even buried her myself after everything was said and done.” Kyle grinned from side to side like a little kid waiting to be praised for the picture they had drawn, except now the man was speaking of the way he had murdered his mother. You were at a total loss of words, suddenly too frightened to respond.

 “What’s so special about being a human anyways?” The cyborg grumbled, sounding almost offended of the words you still haven’t said but were definitely thinking deep down. You were staring forward unable to draw away from that one crack in the wall, his words flying above your head. Your confusion was interrupted by the man quickly raising to his knees and catching both of your hands with his strong robotized ones. The cold touch of the metal combined with the camouflage of a soft skin was enough to mess your mind even further into the maze that was his dark gaze. Next thing you knew the male had you pinned on the hard ground, spotlessly clean and reeking of abstergent. You tried to squirm away but the hold of your wrists was too tight and strong to even make your struggling worth the trouble. “Just look at how weak you humans are.” K-010 taunted you, smirking teasingly, cruelly, yet there was something desperate in his eyes, something hidden. “You are so fragile I could probably break you if I were to press harder on your flesh.” He whispered into your ear, breathing down your neck as he dug his icy fingers into your collarbone and made you whimper pathetically at the dull pain. “People are foolish creatures, illogical by nature. They try to fight authority yet the moment they are left with a free choice, they find a way to run from their responsibilities.” The cyborg chuckled maliciously while digging his nails further into your skin.

 “We might be doomed forever because of our emotions but there is something you fail to consider.” You finally spoke out despite your rapid heartbeat and fear so great it could defeat death herself. The predator already had you in his sharp claws and there was no pointing in playing coy anymore. The worst had come to worst. Your words caught the attention of the half-robot and he licked his lips in anticipation to hear what you had to say. “Unlike the androids we can still experience love. And at the end a life without love is a life wasted in the big picture. We might be mortal but you are the ones waiting to die instead of living.” You spat at the man fiercely, ready to face any punishment he would bestow upon your weak tired body for the sheer honesty. Instead he started laughed maniacally, the sound so loud it hit the ceiling and echoed through the house like a pained scream and so violent his shoulders shook to the sides. For the first time his eyes were glowing in a bright red color so saturated and vivid you couldn’t stand to look at them.

 “This is really funny, my little human.” Kyle pronounced carefully, having calmed down. He lowered his head so that his lips were ghosting over yours, just brushing against them. “I belong with neither humans nor robots so why does my chest ache every time I look at you? Tell me, darling, am I in love?” His voice was harsh, husky – as if he was purposely trying to sound evil but the tears in his eyes pointed at another feeling. A raw painful feeling.

 You couldn’t reply not only because you had no idea what to say after the confession but also because you couldn’t breathe properly with his pretty, wicked face so close to yours. Your silence only managed to stir the cyborg up further into his madness and he kissed you roughly, hungrily lapping and biting at your lips until they were sore and bruised, the robotic man more than happy to lick the small drops of blood off. For a moment you considered kicking or shouting for help but there wasn’t anyone willing to in the radius of kilometers. No one of significance cared much about the few remaining mortals. “I could never love you.” You uttered weakly, half – heartedly pushing the man away. You were all alone in this and there wasn’t really a point in fighting someone so much bigger and stronger, yet a sad little part of you hoped that Kyle would leave you alone if you made it clear enough just how much his actions were hurting you.

  “It’s fine if you don’t love me by choice.” Your master replied calmly in a cold piercing voice. His hands were wandering through your form stopping at your hips to draw them into his. The pretty dress you used to like so much was now crumpled and reeking of him, torn apart from your shivering body and thrown away. You wished you could cry but all the adrenaline had left you too uneasy to process the pain and fear. Kyle whispered in your ear while stroking your hair gently and it made you feel like a trembling sheep before a starved butcher. “I own you, little human.” He placed a small kiss on your hot sensitive neck. “And I have enough love for both of us.”

[sineala]

director's commentary on A Real Boy?

The whole thing? I mean, sure, okay.

Back when AI Tony was still canonically alive but had, after the end of Secret Empire and Bendis' IM run, been shoved aside and forgotten, I started thinking about pairing him with Steve. Throughout Secret Empire, AI Tony still kept believing in Steve, the whole way through, and I felt like that was really sweet, and then it was unfair that canon set him aside and he never got to really see the Steve he believed in except for about one page at the end of Secret Empire.

To me this seemed like part of a broader trend of underutilizing AI Tony, in a narrative way. If you're going to have Tony be an AI, it should mean something that he's an AI, I think. He should have a life experience that's different from human Tony. Making him an AI should bring something new to the character. Having Tony who has always clearly been fascinated with the idea of being a machine finally Living The Dream and maybe finding out that it wasn't what he wanted -- like, they could have done something like that. They could have made it matter. But instead it kind of felt like "Tony's in a coma but we already planned to use him here, quick, let's make him an AI" and there wasn't really much he did that regular Tony couldn't have done, to the best of my recollection. He was basically just there to... be Tony.

And at the same time he was also, essentially, an inferior Tony. Marvel routinely makes Tony start drinking -- or at least think about drinking -- during major events to up the stakes and they just... made him drunk. If he were human they might make more of a big deal about sobering him up afterwards, treating him like a character we might care about, but they just... kind of used him for cheap narrative thrills and put him away. He was there to be Tony but he wasn't treated anything like the way canon has ever treated Tony wrt his drinking. So he was Tony but at the same time it seemed like we were supposed to think he wasn't the "real" Tony. So my creative impulse here was basically "fuck that, he's Tony, and I'm gonna prove it."

So I wanted to write a story pairing AI Tony with Steve in which Steve absolutely believes AI Tony is still Tony, and he loves him just as much as he would love any other Tony, and it wouldn't ever occur to Steve not to love him or that he isn't Tony.

There's also a common theme in robot/AI stories where the robot character wants to be human, and there are various stories where they finally get a "real" body or their body already conveniently does the things they would want a body to do (as in Data from TNG; in that case, he's looking for emotions). And fandom has a, um, fairly robust interest in erotica, so really the question for the prurient-minded among us becomes, yeah, okay, how do you get it on with an AI? I could have just given AI Tony his ideal body, sure, one that did all the things he wanted, but I thought it would be more interesting if I didn't. If there were things he couldn't do with the body he had. I was interested in how he and Steve navigate that, and what it means to desire someone when you can't actually physically experience that desire the same way that other people experience it.

I think these are interesting questions, the sort of thing that you might hope to see in AI-themed stories, and I thought it would be interesting if the answer here was non-normative. I could have written a story where AI Tony immediately goes out and gets himself a body that can have Regular Human Sex, but I wanted to write a story where that wasn't the only way, and that he and Steve were still happy with that.

I wanted to show them basically having a good time even if it wasn't the same good time a lot of other people would have, and to show that Steve still wants to stay with him even when human Tony is there, because as far as he's concerned he's already with Tony. I feel like other people think the ending is sadder than I thought it was when I wrote it, but to me it's just like "yeah, Steve and Tony are together." I wasn't going to break the two of them up! Sure, human Tony is sad and in that sense this is not an extremely happy ending, but he does have someone! And Jan's great! I just didn't think I should privilege this Tony over the Tony who already ended up with Steve.

(Man, if AI Tony dies like he does in canon, Steve's gonna be so sad...)

[aihoshiino]

hello!!! you have no idea how hard it is (for me at least haha) to find a blog that talks about ai even semi consistently let alone analyze her this closely so i enjoy ur blog very much! thank you for feeding my ai brainrot :D

anyways any thoughts on ai and hikaru’s relationship? or just speculation since theres not much on it rn? its pretty fascinating to me, they were both children who were abused and exploited as a whole (that and their own respective fucked up relationship and idea of sexual intimacy which might be one of the catalysts for them jumping to sex so quickly despite both (i think?) being aware of the consequences with them being relatively active in the entertainment industry and what not) so its not too hard to imagine them potentially bonding even if it never quite reached genuine love romantic or otherwise

HAPPY TO PROVIDE, ANON! <3 I fully admit that my ramblings are mostly for my own benefit because if I don't talk about Hoshino Ai at least twice a day I will turn into the Oshi no Joker but it's always so nice to hear folks are glad to be along for the ride.

Hikaru and Ai's relationship has always been really fascinating to me, though! It's kind of an interesting subversion on some of our and Aqua's ingrained assumptions about the kind of person the twins' father would be – there's this sort of implicit, unspoken understanding based on the way Aqua focuses primarily on men who were already adults when Ai got pregnant that Ai was victimized in some way which resulted in the twins. Finding out who Hikaru is and the fact that he and Ai were peers immediately casts all of Ai's decisions regarding him in a hugely different light and raises a lot of questions about things that we otherwise assumed went without saying.

That said, given that we know so little about both their relationship and Hikari himself as a person, it's kind of hard to make solid guesses! I sort of have a rough shape of what I imagine it was like in my head just based on Hikaru's emotional function in the story VS what we know about him specifically as a person – Hikaru is very clearly intended to be a sort of bad end/dark mirror of Aqua, so I like to think that his and Ai's relationship probably contained echoes of the two main Aqua romances we see play out in the present. I had like a huge and honestly kind of incomprehensible ramble here originally while I tried to define what I meant by that but then I realized the series itself already lays it out...

In Hikaru, Ai found someone she thought would finally understand and accept her.

In Ai, Hikaru saw light.

Ai is tied to stars and light constantly through the series while also being tied to Kana pretty strongly as well, so I think it makes sense for her to be the Kana/light equivalent in this relationship. Uh, of course, I think I have accidentally implied that this means Akane is paralleling Hikari, so let's move on................................

It's also interesting to take into account 45510 when trying to pick up some info about how this relationship went. The stream at the center of this story is dated just after Ai came back from her hiatus following the birth of the twins, so around when she was 16/17 years old -- closer to the latter and so likely two or three years after her relationship with Hikaru fell apart. With that in mind, Ai's words here feel kind of... I guess, accidentally revealing? In some interesting ways.

When asked to describe her ideal type for a lover, Ai says: ""I guess I'd like to be with someone who doesn't lose their cool with me when I mess things up, ‘cause that happens a lot! Someone who gets all worked up over every little thing would probably get tired of me pretty quick. It’d be unfair for them, so I'd rather be with someone who's not like that.""

And unprompted, she continues from there with this: ""Love is all about trust, isn't it? They call it... 'recipricity', I think? Like, if someone showed me they love me, I'd feel the same way about them. But, I'm a bit of a scaredy-cat. It's tough for me to really believe in words like 'love' and 'like.' I've never actually fallen in love with someone before, so I'm not even sure what it means, you know?""

This is FASCINATING knowing this is Ai on the other side of her relationship with Hikaru. We know that this is Ai's true feelings because even the 45510 narrator, who calls her a liar every time she so much as breathes, admits that she knows Ai is probably telling the truth here. If this is the case, then this basically confirms that however intense the HikaAi relationship was, she didn't feel as though she loved him, which matches with the snippets we've gotten from the DVD and the movie where Ai's parting/break up with Hikaru was centered on Ai admitting that she couldn't love him.

Of course, this doesn't necessarily mean that their bond wasn't genuine or that they didn't have real feelings for each other – I totally agree with your take that they probably gravitated towards each other as victims of abuse generally and CSA specifically and found a sort of comfort and solidarity in recognizing and licking each others' wounds. But obviously, things didn't work out and I think we have a lot of clues already what this fundamental misunderstanding was.

When Ai tells Hikaru "I can't love you" this is an apology, an admission of weakness and self-blame. What Ai is saying is I can't love you, because I'm broken and I can't love anyone.

What Hikaru likely hears is I can't love you because you're broken and nobody could.

That sense of rejection, combined with the trauma he already carried from his abuse would have been bad enough but that Ai got pregnant and broke up with him was likely hugely retraumatizing for him, ripping open the scars of his abuse at Airi Himekawa's hands. He may have even misconstrued Ai's actions as an act of abuse similar to Airi's and everything went spiralling from there.

I don't have any really solid shots to call, unfortunately! So much about Hikaru is up in the air right now, but I think he's a super interesting character and his and Ai's relationship is something I really, really want to eventually see more of.

[rubykgrant]

Doc doesn’t listen because he, quite frankly, feels a little indignant about this. That first message hadn’t been meant for him, after all. Clearly this one wasn’t, either. This was… it just… he could be frustrated about this, right? He was ALLOWED to be upset every once in a while, without it being because of… whatever, the point was, he's been through a lot, and he's allowed to feel offended over this whole unfair situation. End of discussion.

Nobody had even come to check on him. They had been in the middle of a very tense and difficult situation, and he had stepped up, helped them when they needed it so they could get the job done. Heck, O'Malley had helped them too, and Doc had some mixed up feelings about THAT, but you'd think they would have noticed or been grateful… but nobody came back to check on him (them). No “thank you”, either. It wasn’t as if he was looking for praise, nothing THAT extreme… he didn’t need them to lift him up on their shoulders and hold a parade in his honor. It would just, y’know, be kinda nice if they ACKNOWLEDGED he existed (or that O'Malley existed, for that matter), and that he was helpful (they were BOTH helpful).

Right from the beginning, he had TRIED to be helpful. That was the whole point. He wanted to help people, no matter who they were, and he went where he was needed. Not to pat himself on the back, but that was a reasonably decent thing to do, yes? Sure, he hadn’t done anything extreme, he wasn’t the savior of all mankind, and he had no illusions about that. That wasn’t important, you didn’t need to be the pinnacle of peace or solve all the issues in the universe… it was just a simply decent thing to do; see that people needed help, so you do what you are capable of to help them.

He had TRIED to, at least… but from the get-go, nothing worked out. Nobody had taken his concerns or medical advice seriously. They had just bossed him around, or ignored him entirely. Looking back, he supposed that was fairly typical of this group… they ignored each other a LOT, and were a bossy bunch on top of that. It was a miracle they ever got anything done at all. What they DID get done usually involved destruction. Still, he could have handled that… but that wasn’t all. Oh, certainly not! NOPE, in addition to being thrown into the mix with these violent and illogical people, he had LITERALLY been possessed by some kind of… demonic computer virus ghost.

That had been BEYOND unpleasant… horrible, confusing, and frightening. He had somehow managed to get through it, though. He wasn’t the kind of person who gave in to despair, no matter how daunting the situation was. A positive attitude could improve anything… at least, slightly. It had been very difficult to have a positive attitude when there was something ELSE in your head that seemed to be made of BAD VIBES, but somehow he had managed. The worst part was… everybody else had paid more attention to that OTHER voice than his. They also didn't seem to understand, that evil AI was GONE. The voice they heard was still O'Malley, but it wasn't THAT O'Malley. How could he expect them to tell the difference between two names, when they couldn't even remember his?.

Frank DuFresne. He knew all of THEIR names, first and last, middle initials… he was actually CONSIDERATE like that. Oh, but it would be just a little to much to expect the same level of respect from them, evidently. Nobody called him by his name anymore. It was either “O’Malley” (and again, they didn't realize the O'Malley they were speaking to now WASN'T the thing that had used him like a puppet, this O'Malley WASN'T the body-hopping jerk!), or “Doc”. He wasn’t a doctor. Sure, he was a medic, but that wasn’t the same thing. Why had they insisted with Doc? Why had it stuck?

Doc, Doc, Doc, Doc, DOC, DOC, DOC! Church- that is, the Alpha AI, had started that. Epsilon might be a different AI, but he continued the same pattern (see? He could identify the AI, even though they both liked to go by Church, he knew how to tell people apart!). Everybody else just went along with it. Nick-names were supposed to be a sign of friendship, a term of endearment! Doc was just… the shortest sounding word they could use to describe him, one that couldn’t be applied to anybody else, so they wouldn’t have to put any thought into it!

… the worst part was, in his own head, he had started thinking of himself as Doc. He also thought of himself as O'Malley, but it wasn't that first O'Malley, the presence of that AI was gone, and he thought he would've been alone in his head after that. It didn't exactly sound... appealing to be alone, but that's how it's supposed to work after an AI stops possessing you, right? Just like he was supposed to be a pacifist, somebody who helped others, and did good.

When had he actually managed to accomplish something truly good? Something that one could qualify as saving lives, on a grand scale? When he acted like O’Malley…  or rather, when O'Malley had returned (after being alone in that dark void, and then discovering he WASN'T alone, and it had even been sort of... nice, having somebody who was always going to respond to you, one way or another). Not the AI, but part of him, the part that wasn't afraid to be as angry as possible. Maybe that wasn’t the best description, either; because O’Malley wasn’t just “anger”, and Doc was more than able of getting mad on his own.

Doc was plenty angry now; angry at the rest of them because they’d forgotten him, left him all alone (until he realized he WASN'T alone)… and even then, he had still helped them! O'Malley helped them! What was their reward? Forgotten AGAIN! Doc isn’t sure how to explain it to another person (not that anybody else is even listening to him), but it was... good having O’Malley. Good for him, and obviously good for other people. Look what they had accomplished together!

When he heard that message play suddenly, he had dared to hope (in a painfully pathetic way) that it was a sign they cared about him… but nothing in it had been for Doc. It was just Church, talking to the others. Doc was basically just an eaves-dropper on this conversation, an unneeded third-wheel. So what was this second message? More of the same, no doubt… and certainly not anything directed at Doc (or O'Malley). It was like he’d been accidentally added to their contacts, so he would receive group texts that were for everybody else… but not him. Nobody even liked him enough to check on him. Them.

Doc is tired of feeling so angry, at them and himself, and decides the only thing to do is change his own behavior; you can’t keep making the same mistakes and expect a different outcome. If they don’t care enough to talk to him, he’ll stop hopelessly expecting them to. He also won’t play this other message… why answer a phone call when you know somebody will just say “Wrong number”?

[mobagehelllocal]

"ngiti"

twst oc week - day one: school days or domestic

"don't look at me, or else my anxious heart will melt..."

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

Ai huffed as she turned to squint at Ace. It was the nth time he had asked, and she was tired of it.

“Hey, Trappola, hey.” She puffed her cheeks up and began to pick up the pace of her walking. “You were the one who begged to be included in my tutorial sessions with Azul-senpai. If you don’t want to go— “

“No! I’m coming!” He replied quickly, “If I can get free lessons from Azul-senpai— “

“They’re not free!” Ai frowned, “you have to pay him back—all three of you have to pay him back.” Her eyes shifted to her other side, where Grim and Deuce had identical looks of horror.

“Haaaah? That’s unfair! You’re getting lessons for free!”

“I’m not!” Ai shook her head, brown hair swished down to her waist at the motion. “I’m paying him.”

“Oh yeah? Paying him with what?” Ace challenged, as he peered at the girl with brilliant, coloured eyes.

“…” Ai shifted her gaze away—at which all three immediately began to protest.

“So, you aren’t after all!”

“That’s so unfair!”

“Hey minion! You have to let me get it free too!”

“No! I—I don’t know what I’m paying him with, but I am certainly paying him back!” she stomped her foot almost childishly.

“Haaah? Azul-senpai say something like that?” Ace snorted as he raised his hands to the back of his head. “Yeah right!”

“It wasn’t Azul-senpai!” she hissed, “It was…” she bit her lip and her cheeks flushed red—she ducked her head, almost shyly. It was the type of action that Ai only ever used around—or when talking about…

“So, it was Jade-senpai.” Ace rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner. “He’s a liar, you know.”

“Yeah! He’s scarier than that Floyd!” Grim yelped. “That pleasant smile of his… he uses it to manipulate the people around him—you know.” Ace and Grim turned to Deuce, who flinched at the attention. His eyes moved from the expectant expression of the boys before finally turning to the only girl… She had her head bowed; dark hair covered her expression…

“Ai…” he scratched the back of his head anxiously. “… I don’t know. You know his reputation so… If you trust him…”

‘You might end up getting hurt.’ was left unsaid.

“… It’s not like I don’t know.” She mumbled, underneath her breath. She peered depressively down onto the ground, the playful mood from earlier had vanished. The boys looked at each other—slight panic on their expressions and a need to push the blame on any of the other. (Unbeknownst to her peers, her expression changed—darkened—ever so briefly…) Deuce elbows Ace harshly and while the latter scowled, he moved closer to comfort their friend—

“Hey—Ai, you know we didn’t me—”

She slapped her cheeks harshly to keep her thoughts light and happy.

“Fine! Then don’t come!” she huffed, startling them as she raised her head. Her long hair dramatically swung from framing her face, to slapping Ace flat in the face (“OW, WHAT THE FUCK—”)—as she began to stomp off towards Octavinelle’s Dorm.

“Huh? No wait! We are coming with you! We’ll haggle with Azul-senpai if we have to!”

--

“—that’s because you have to do it like this—” Azul hissed as he pointed harshly at a point in Deuce’s notes. “Sweet Witch, how did you even get past—” Azul went off into a long spiel about the finer points of Alchemy. Ai muffled her giggles as she noticed that Deuce (and Grim, alongside him) began to zone off, not absorbing a single thing Azul was saying…

‘And they went through all that trouble to haggle with him for a sit down…’ Ai’s lips quirked before her gaze flickered off to Ace, who had Floyd’s sole attention. The tall senior peered over Ace’s shoulder with a wide grin.

“Wow. Kani-chan’s quite lazy, isn’t he?” Floyd teased.

“Hey, shut up Floyd-senpai! I don’t see you doing anything!” Ace scowled; Floyd only cackled in response.

“Eh? Studying is boring when you can remember everything easily~”

“How does that even work!?”

Ai let out another soft, little laugh at Ace’s indignation. She was more than aware of how brilliant Floyd was—but she was also aware of how difficult it was to ask him for help if he wasn’t interested at all. She knew because, ‘how many times have I sat here…’ her eyes flickered around Octavinelle’s Lounge. ‘and gotten teased over it…?’

“Raina!” She flinched in her seat; eyes darted towards a scowling Azul. His eyes flickered down to the papers on the desk. “You’re not allowed to slack off as well. I’ve taught those to you already, so do the problems and I’ll look it over later.” She flushed in embarrassment at being caught, distracted.

“Sorry senpai. I’ll get right to it.” She nodded fiercely as she gathered the papers in her hand—when at the corner of her eye she noticed something. She turned her head in surprise and had her breath stolen from her.

“Oya, oya. Hello Raina.”

“Hey Jade-senpai…” she wheezed. “You... you’re here.” Her cheeks reddened at the mere sight of him, of his smile. (Which widened at his junior's speechlessness.) He leaned over the couch, his face a few inches away from hers (‘Don't look so closely at me—! You're too close!’ She panicked internally.)—a tray pulled tight to his chest as he gently settled a teacup onto the low table.

“Where else would I be?” he murmured, amused. After all, out of the two of them, he was the Octavinelle student. Ai doesn’t respond, her eyes are busy raking all over his face as if she hadn't just seen him earlier. As if she hadn't seen him in so long and needed to engrave the planes of his face to her memory. She studied how the light from the aquarium cloaked him in some supernatural light. His lashes tangled with a single blink, olive and gold eyes peered down at her with mirth. Her eyes hovered briefly on the curve of his nose, before it dropped down to his lips and that smile.

That smile.

It was the smile that made her blush reach her ears, made her throat dry, made her fingers curl, made her heart skip, made her want to—

Their silent staring is cut off by an indignant Azul.

“Hey, Jade! Stop distracting my student!” She let out a strangled sound (at Azul's words, or upon realization of where her thoughts were—she's not sure) whilst Jade merely chuckled.

“I do apologize, Azul.” he maneuvered the tray so that he could put his hand over his chest and bow politely. “I shall endeavour not to do that again.” His eyes flickered back down to the blushing girl.

“Your tea, my dear doll.” he gestured (she let out a squeak at the nickname, and she swore his smile spread even more—) before he retreated to Mostro Lounge. Ai’s gaze lingered on his back, still dazed from his proximity.

‘... It doesn’t matter what people say. I want to trust him. I think there’s something worth trusting in him.’ She’s not sure what, or if there actually is anything to trust but… Her heart pounded.

People do stupid things when they’re in love and she resigned herself to whatever Jade Leech would bid her to do.

--

"it's your smile i'm hopelessly in love with. and every time you move, the world stops for the song in my heart is yours. i hope you notice, the way i adore you in secret."

--

*ngiti - 'smile'

[sunseteyes]

goodbye

i have been thinking about this for over a month and i have finally decided to leave this blog. please click see more to read more:)

the days were good and fun until it lasted. i shared lots of smiles, and laughs but i think this is the time to finally stop and let go. 

i don’t know if this will be permanent or just for the time being, but i admit i have been very discouraged to post here again. i don’t want to make anyone guilty, not at all. i just have been not in a right place and i have tried to go back and try to refresh my good feelings here in this blog, but something just seemed different and heavy, i could not stand it. that is the reason why i only post fics and rarely post or send an ask for my regular checkups. i’m really sorry, but i knew all of this from the start of the year when the tarot cards told me i will finally let go of something that i didn’t want to let go—the first thing i thought about was this blog. i love this blog, i love everyone, but i should love myself more. i don’t feel like myself whenever i post here anymore, sure i have been before and i also post fics recently, but that’s because i love writing—it’s my only sense of self left. i think i’m becoming unfair the more i post fics and never interact, i’m really sorry. i kept wanting interaction but i guess it’s my fault at the same time. 

to everyone i have met here, thank you. you guys have been very welcoming and kind i am so glad to meet you. 

i might be deleting my discord app as well so if you want to kick me out on the server,,, i won’t be mad hahah. 

in short, I am going to turn my back to the things that remind me of this blog. yes, i will still write at the sidelines, but i’m just-it hurts me to be on this blog anymore. i’m… sorry if it ended up this way… but if i regain my love for this blog, i may go back, but there are really no guarantees. 

also a special mention to map anon for being the only anon who have been so interactive at me and for making me smile everytime i see them—i love you so much! i hope that we’d get to interact if i ever come back here or in another blog. you are my only pride and joy<3 hahahah thank you so much i hope the best for you :D

to my wifey and one of my closest, @giyuus-wife & @tinytravelerkitten ohgod you guys are the best. i’m not the best at communicating but you’re both still there for me it’s insane. i love you both so much!! and ai, omg your drawings are so beautiful please don’t ever waste your talent !! 

to @shintaroos you are so so kind to contact me even through my break i’m so sorry i’m just not the best to talk to i feel so bad:((( me and kou loves you mari !!! 

to @eitabun i was so looking forward to our friendship but,, it hurts me to be here anymore. i also want to co-op with you in genshin and tbh i started playing it again when you mentioned it across my dash. i’ve been addicted since hehehe. thank you so much for everything, i was really flattered when you tagged me as kenma’s player two i was like “omg” and i was just-i wanted to be much closer to you. i’m really sorry that we didn’t get to talk more. if you ever want to connect, just tell it to me:) 

and lastly to @katsukichu babe i cannot thank you enough you are so so so kind and sweet and lovely to send me motivations and stuff thank you very much. my day turns a little bit brighter i see your notif (which is the only notif i have for discord btw nxnsjsj sad life). i hope you will be happy and have someone who treats you just as you treated me. you’re such a huge blessing, thank you. 

and that’s it! this is gela from sunseteyes production, signing out! see you when i see you<3 

(also i’ll have a very last kenma fic coming up! It’s a collab and it’s the oneshot i’ve been working on as of the moment. I’m not yet halfway there and i think it will be my longest fic yet? Hopefully, it would be recognized more but i won’t be here anyway so it doesn’t matter. Please stay safe everyone, goodbye!)