#ask finelinevogue

[finelinevogue]

late night shenanigans

summary - you and harry are weirdos late at night

a/n : this started off as something cute and then my mind ran away with me and became … odd… so enjoy

word count : +1k

pairing : fiance!harry x reader

✨💐✨💐✨💐✨💐✨💐✨💐✨💐✨💐

“What?”

You pursed your lips together to refrain from smiling but failed miserably; your dimples popping out on either cheek.

You looked back down at your phone, staring at the new photo that had been leaked of you and Harry on the tube together.

“Whaat?” Harry chuckled. “What’s got you smiling like that?”

“No one.”

Harry scoffed, “So it’s someone?”

“Not telling.” You blushed, sinking further into bed and under the covers.

“Y/NNNN….” Harry whined, slinking his arm over your body and holding on tight.

His stubbly cheek brushed against your shoulder, making you shiver at the touch. He left his cheek sat on you shoulder, his head tilted up to look at you.

“What?” You looked down at him, forming a more-than-double chin.

“Tell me.”

And because he asked so politely.

“You.” You said softly, kissing his forehead that was slightly burnt from being out in the sun too long.

“Me?”

You positioned your phone so he could see the screen as well as you, holding it up to the recently fan-papped photo of you both.

You were sat next to Harry, your arm linked around his as you quietly conversed with each other in London’s busiest form of transport. If fans looked close enough, they’d be able to spot the engagement rings on both your fingers that you’d been keeping secret for weeks now.

“Here.”

“This was today? Of us?”

“No shit Sherlock.” You rolled your eyes.

Harry playfully bit down on your soft skin, making you thwack him with your free hand and mumbling some profanities at him underneath your breath.

He chuckled at you, “And why is this making me smile like a freak?”

“A freak?” You gasped, feigning hurt, “You can fuck off, pal.”

You pushed him away with all your force, making him roll over completely onto his side of the bed. His fault for being on your side in the first place - but he would blame that on finding it physically impossible to be apart from you.

You turned yourself onto your side, facing away from him in a huff, and leaving your phone on your bedside table.

It only took him seconds before he began his apology.

Harry started by moving behind you and curling your hair away from the side of your neck. That movement alone made you nearly give up your fake annoyance.

He moved his head to hover over your neck, giving you a moment to shove him off - which you didn’t - before leaning down and leaving his first kiss on your neck.

The kiss was only short, but as he moved his way along your neck and up to your jaw his kisses became longer. You closed your eyes and let a breath escape your mouth unintentionally.

“Never said freak was a bad thing.” He kissed your jaw again.

“Grovel alll you like. You’re still an ass.” You couldn’t help but laugh.

“I will grovel all I like, thank you.” He kissed your cheek. “After, you tell me why you’re so smiley.”

You turned around then and Harry took the opportunity to slide his arm back around your waist, pulling you tight against his chest. You were nose to nose, eye to eye.

“Because….”

You blushed. You tried to look away from Harry’s gaze but his eyes followed yours, making it impossible.

“Mm.”

“Because you’re mine.” You said quietly, but he heard.

Harry couldn’t help but smile then, leaning in to sloppily kiss his lips against yours. You pushed yourself into the kiss, wanting so desperately to feel all of him.

You cupped the back of his neck and kissed him with all your love, feeling him do the exact same thing.

He pulled back first, with red lips and cheeks.

“I love you.” He started off by saying.

“‘Course you do.”

He kissed you again for your quick comment, making you dizzy with emotions.

“And I smile like a fool in love every day knowing you’re damn well mine.”

You stuck your face into his neck then, giggling against his skin because you couldn’t hold back your excitement of falling in love all over again.

“I love you.” You mumbled into his neck.

“‘Course you do.”

You came out from the safe hiding spot of Harry’s neck then.

“Can’t wait to use that line at the end of the aisle.” You switched to mocking a deep man’s voice then. “Do you Harry Styles take Y/N L/N to be your wife? I do. And then i’ll say ‘course you do.”

Harry stared at you with a raised brow, “You’re so weird.”

“Yeah? Well you’re marrying me. Makes you weird too.” You kissed him again.

“My weird freak.” Harry kissed you.

“When did you stop calling me lovie or sweetheart? When did I become weird freak?”

“You’re always my lovie and sweetheart, but only sometimes my weird freak.”

“You’re weird too.” You pointed out that having this conversation was in fact weird. “But you’re mine.”

“Yeah? That’s why I called you my weird freak.” Harry smirked, thinking he’d won you over with his charm.

“You need to stop.”

Turning around you laid on your other side and Harry stayed tucked against you, spooning you tightly from behind like he did every night.

“Night, weirdo.” You said into the dark quiet of the night, to your fiancé. Harry kissed the back of your head.

“Night, sweetheart.”

[itslottiehere]

i’m so excited and intrigued by your fic… tease us a little please?

just a little (little) taste.. 👀

you know i love you, babe !! 🤍

[freedomfireflies]

your writing was so good! you’re so good at the dialogue between characters 🫶(i feel that’s something i struggle with!)

so in love with frat boy harry! we need some angst, like imagine harry gets down about yn not wanting to be public so he gives her an ultimatum….. whatever you have planned i am ready for🫡✨

This is such a compliment coming from you, hello??? 😭💞 Pls catch me screaming and crying and throwing up out of pure excitement?? I love dialogue, I feel like that's truly the only thing I'm confident in when I write so this is even MORE of a compliment ASLFJD

HAHAH BYE wait...I love that?? I feel like it's rare he gets to be the one to pull a, "Pick me, choose me, love me," moment so 👀 that could actually be really cute?? THANK YOU FOR THIS!!

[sushistyless]

i can just imagine mist!harry and yn snuggled up on his couch on another stormy day, with a shared pot of tea between them (and maybe a few homemade blueberry muffins), listening to each others favourite music on the new record player. they’d be getting to know each other through music and that’s how we find out more about the character too!!<333

oh YES 🥺 I LOVE this idea so much :(( maybe it’s a time after they’ve met a couple of times already! and it’s like drizzling out this time too so they joke about how they always seem to meet on rainy days :(( they’re just giggly and H’s excited to tell her about the kind of music he likes but more so hear what she likes. so they speak lots lots and lots about artists they listen to and I can imagine a lot of softness and lovey vibes like cigarettes after sex, hozier, pink floyd and just a WHOLE range 🥺 then later there’s fleetwood mac playing on around them and like neither of them are actually that cold but they pretend they are just as an excuse to snuggle up :(( because… yes it’s just cozy like that :(( her cuddled up into his side, face smushed against his chest while holding onto his shirt 🥺 AND THE IDEA OF THEM CUDDLING UP WITH BLUEBERRY MUFFINS AND TEA 🥹 adorable. SO CUTE :((

[moonchildstyles]

lindsee hi!

i just wanted to share some love today so i’ve decided to come rant to you about how you need to stop being the most brilliant author on this app. okay this app is kind of keeping it niche actually, because i’ve read books by colleen hoover and emily henry that don’t have anything worth turning the page for in comparison to you and your works.

i might seem like a hypocrite because i don’t reblog your work on here really, but only because 1) i was a huge Wattpad user before Tumblr and so supported you on there for ages! and 2) i genuinely don’t even believe my eyes are worth the talent that you provide us!

the first work i read off you was your aster!verse and honestly it is worth its hype. that story has me in a fucking chokehold. it was that story that started my moonchildstyles addiction. as much as it deserves its love, i honestly don’t anything compares to your prosecco series. omg i’m obsessed it’s just delicious. let’s just praise older!harry forever, but specially in your universe because holy damn he has me wishing my name was “y/n” and that i lived within the words on the screen. i want to be a part of that universe so bad. okay and let’s not forgot nerdy!harry or vampire!harry or witch!harry because they too have me on my knees praying every night.

feels good to have told you all this because i was always too shy to drop in and say it. but hey!

ooh and i have also recently discovered you have a huge separate blurb list and then also a bunch of tiny concepts for each of your verses and now i know how i will spend the rest of my life. like if your writing was a bubble bath i would soak in it forever.

anyways this was probably far too long and far too waffly and gold stars if you got to the end!! <333

hi omg:((((((((( first of all!!!!! saying that u think my writing holds up against ppl like Coleen hoover and Emily Henry......I will actually cry stop it thank u :(((((((( it really means so much to me that u love my writing and have taken the time to read it on both Wattpad and here and have enjoyed them and just :( idek what to say just thank u so much:( like its just so like....it hurts my heart to read things like this and I just :(((( thank u so much and I cant wait for u to read all the blurbs and things and I hope you enjoy it all as much as u loved the main stories and I can't wait to share more w u and just thank you so much:(

[twostepstyless]

lovie don’t stress yourself out by overworking yourself! we’ll love whatever you write, whenever you write it. let yourself rest for an hour with a cuppa tea and a few biscuits, before going back to it! don’t give yourself burnout :(( xxxx

Ah my angel :( I needed this tonight, was so close to being on time, only a short 9 minutes late, it is what it is lmao! Thank you for this beautiful <3 I’m now off to read day 1 of your fanficmas! I’ve been saving it since it was posted to read after I got mine finished tonight, lots of love to you, precious xxx

[tinyhrry]



Angst

untitled (@avatar-anna)

Grief Pt 2 (@avatar-anna)

The Maid of Honour & The Best Man (@musicforastylesrestaurant)

Why Dont U Love Me? Pt 2 (@alltheloveflowerh)

The Boxer Pt 2 (@ever-since-kiwi)

I wish you were the one who told me (@meetevieinthehallway)

Commitment Pt 2 (@harry-writings)

Friends before fans (@finelinevogue)

Take my money (@gucciharrywritings)

Destiny (@freedomfireflies)

Thick and Thin (@theonewiththefanfics)

Reconcile (@talesofstyles)

High (@harryisalrightig)

Champagne Problems (@allyouneedisbuck)

Love you goodbye (@atharryshouse)

Canyon moon (@gucciwins)

She can see we're lonely down here (@violetsandfluff)

A small phone call (@twohearts-hs)

Trust (@shroombloomm)

Pull me in (@hunflowers)

Just called to say I love u (@avatar-anna)

Better Man (@avatar-anna)

In sickness and in health (@talesofstyles)

Failure (@avatar-anna)

to love someone (@ineffablywriting)

Second (@missmielyhoran)

you are the love of my life (@finelinevogue)

worst daddy ever (@whitemancumslut)

future gf (@avatar-anna)

rivals (@avatar-anna)

interesting (@goldsainz)

Fluff

birthday boy (@finelinevogue)

drive my car (@mulledcherrywine)

No guarantee (@allofurlove)

Girl Gone Live (@avatar-anna)

When in Rome (@finelinevogue)

Drama Queen (@sunflowerkiwis)

Wardrobe Malfunction (@watchmegetobsessed)

Drunk on a wedding (@harryyskiwii)

Favorite Holiday (@tsumtsumrry)

Puppy Love (@watchmegetobsessed)

Highschool Lovers (@haaarry)

Class Buddies (@ever-since-kiwi)

Waiting for you (@watchmegetobsessed)

Chubby Cheeks (@jarofstyles)

Bo Peep (@haarrrys)

Anything for his girls (@flwrsforu)

Shoot ur shot (@finelinevogue)

Wouldn't it be nice (@ill-be-your-honey-bri)

Where the world takes you (@havethetimeofyourstyles)

Princess Jasmin (@harrysmimi

New York streets & dreams (@sweet-creature101)

What dreams are made of (@flwrsforu)

Sick on tour (@musicforastylesrestaurant)

At the brits (@hes-writer)

Times you were at Wembley with harry (@harrysfolklore)

Lots of loving (@daaydreamy)

Finally Free (@be-with-me-so-happily)

Before the show (@avatar-anna)

Home (@musicforastylesrestaurant)

Childhood Friends (@harryyskiwii)

In your rainbow paradise (@anabsolutetrainwreck)

Instagram Live (@astranva)

Good job (@daaydreamy)

Love at the coffee shop (@gucciwins)

Interesting enough? (@finelinevogue)

Brother's best friend (@watchmegetobsessed)

We're really funny (@mosh-4)

asking for her hand (@ameliaskdr)

GQ couples quiz (@glitteredrry)

worth the risk (@gucciwins)

Smut

No more games (@watchmegetobsessed)

Better now (@bopbopstyles)

Series

Pregnancy Series (@avatar-anna)

Our Story (@daisyblog)

Songs of hers (@chaoticloving)

Kiss me in the dark (@finelinevogue)

Young dad!harry (@avatar-anna)

[vanteguccir]

Writers' recommendation from vante ♡

As asked by an anon, I did a short list of my favorite writers on tumblr, who write for the Sturniolo Triplets and Harry Styles fandom, since it's the ones that I most consume in here 🩷

PS.: I didn't separate specific fics that I like because I absolutely adore all fics from the writers I've listed below, and I highly recommend all of them!! 😚 but if yall want specific fics, I can always do it as well!!

༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

~ Sturniolo Triplets:

- @worldlxvlys

- @ciarasturn1

- @chaosisalwayscrying

- @soursturniolo

- @scarssturniolo

- @thugpugs4lrh

- @patscorner

- @strniohoeee

- @greatooglymooglyyy

- @strawberrysturniolo

- @evieolo

- @muwapsturniolo

- @55sturn

- @lovingmattysposts

- @rootbeerworshiper

~ Harry Styles:

- @erodasfishtacos (my protegé 😭)

- @fkinavocado

- @satanhalsey

- @meetmymouth

- @watchmegetobsessed

- @finelinevogue

- @freedomfireflies

- @havethetimeofyourstyles

- @avatar-anna

- @harrysfolklore

- @moonchildstyles

- @lukesaprince

- @stylesharrys

- @signoferoda

- @watermelonsugacry

the HS fandom here on tumblr has the best writers on this whole app. they should be writing books at this point, I swear 😭✋🏻

[harrysfolklore]

type of kisses you’d share with harry - headcanon

forehead kisses

they’re always so intimate and full of emotions

it’s his way of telling you that he’ll always protect you

he gives forehead kisses when he can tell that you’re overwhelmed or there’s something bugging you

he always puts his hands on your neck or his arm around your shoulders

forehead kisses are also his favorite form of PDA, so there’s a lot of paparazzi and fan pictures of him kissing your forehead when you’re out and about

hand kisses

specially during long car rides

he’d kiss the inside of your palm when you’re caressing his face

he loves it when you give kisses to the back of his hand too

fiancé!harry would always kiss the ring on your finger because he just can’t believe you’re going to be his wife

when you’re eating together and he’s sitting across from you, he would hold your hand on the table and kiss your palm while you’re talking about something, smirking and giggling because he just finds you adorable

pecks

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME

when he’s running late before he has to go on stage

when you get in the car when he picks you up from work

when he arrives home from the studio and you’re waiting for him making some tea in the kitchen

he just can’t get enough, he could peck your lips for hours on end

sometimes you’ll complain about him not giving you a “proper kiss” and that doesn’t fail to make a smirk appear on his face

shoulder kisses

just so damn intimate

he loves to brush your hair out of your shoulders and place a little kiss there

he just adores you so much

you love to give him shoulder kisses too, and it makes him all blush-y

back-of-the-neck and jaw kisses

that’s YOUR favorite to give to him

you’d hug him from behind and place a kiss to the nape of his neck

or stand on your tiptoes and pepper kisses on his jaw, his beard tickling you when he hasn’t shaved in a while

he also loves to grab your face and place a hard kiss on your jaw close to your neck, and that doesn’t fail to send shivers down your spine

cheek kisses

he reserves those for when he wants to annoy you or wants your attention

they’re always sloppy and obnoxious

but sometimes he would randomly give you a sweet kiss on the cheek when you’re doing something that he finds adorable

he’s just the sweetest man in the world

you’d also grab his face with both of your hands and kiss both of his cheeks, you just love to make him blush

headcanons are back ! you know i’m kinda insecure with my writing so that’s why i took a break from headcanons, but i hope you like this ! tell me your thoughts 🥰

ask me anything | masterlist | support me

taglist: @cucciolafaerie @eleanordaisy @sunflowersndpeaches @golden-hoax @alienorknight @daydreamingofmatilda @sunflowervolume66 @lollypopsx @vanteguccir @ivyproblems @ayeshathestyles @stylesmygucci @gimsaysay @rosaliedepp @dontworrysunflower @milfrrynation @manifestrry @iceebabies @harrystylesrecs @pleasingrryyy @harianaswhore @leadmetogarden @finelinevogue @abeanontoast @grapejuice-rry @vrittivsanghavi i @msolbesg @tati813 @sad1esgf @ivegotparticulartaste @wobblymug @eviesaurusrex @olivialovesh @itsgabbysblog @theekyliepage @gumballavocadoharry

[astranva]

Smallest of Moments

Word Count: +950

Category: tooth-aching fluff

Warning: none

Summary: The small moments that scream “I love you” between you and Harry.

A/N: this is from a prompt list my love @finelinevogue made me so we have el to thank for rescuing me and supplying me with tooth-aching fluff. ily 💕

..

“Love” was such a universal word. No matter what language you spoke, no matter what your background about it was, everyone knew what the word “love” was, and especially when it’s “I love you”.

You’d find it written in cursive on vibrant, red teddy bears, on notebooks, on cards, and on wedding dresses, even. You’d hear it in movies, because what is anything but made in the name of love? 

There were those who said “I love you”s to everyone their heart beat for, there were those who’d rather show it, and then there were those who said it, wrote songs about it, and showed it altogether—and Harry was the latter.

Between you and Harry, an “I love you” was a sacred promise; one that got renewed like a vow every time you uttered the 3 words to one another, but it was within the intimate moments that the 3 words were heavier than a promise could ever be.

“Baby, baby stop for a second,” Harry would say, putting his hands on your waist before either of you crossed the road and in a second, he was kneeling on the ground, his hands reaching to your shoe to tie your flying shoelaces, making you steady yourself by putting your hands on his shoulders.

Surely enough, crossing any road with your hands not intertwined in one another was foreign to the both of you; Harry’s body always being the one on the side of the cars because: “it makes me feel cool,” he had once said.

It was within a moment of laughter between the both of you and your friends.

“Lies! All you do is tell lies, lies, lies!” Harry would exclaim over the laughter of his friends, and like the saying went:

“The first person you look at when you laugh, is the person you value the most.”

Harry’s eyes instantly went to yours the moment laughter was involved, the both of you looking at one another as you laughed, no matter what the context was, and no matter what the seating was. He could be in the middle of a show, laughing at something a fan had said, and he’d still find you.

It was always loud when it was cold, too.

“Where do you think you’re going with your jacket unzipped like that?” Like a concerned parent, Harry would raise his eyebrow at you before you went out.

“I’m not going to zip it, it’ll ruin the outfit,” you’d reason, looking down at your outfit with a huff.

He’d take long strides towards you, his hands reaching to your jacket as he’d try to stifle his laughter over your pouting face while he zipped you up. He’d lean forward, pecking your pouty lips; “It’s cold outside, don’t want you to get sick.”

“You don’t want to take care of me?” You always teased him.

“I’ll always take care of you,” he’d smile, pecking your lips again, “Just would rather you’re not sick while I’m at it.”

It was gentle and soothing when times were tough. 

When you were sad, crying and blue and ready to shut the world out but not Harry—never Harry.

He’d hold you, soundlessly comforting you with the soft hair strokes and the gentle kisses, sometimes even going far enough to crack a bad joke or two that would have you laughed at how bad it was. 

His hand would be gentle on your face, grazing your cheek so softly before he’d reach to hold your chin, tilting your head up a little, “Ready to smile?” He’d ask so gently, and it was his voice and patience that would have you smiling a little, giggling and laughing when Harry would make a big deal of it by pretending to faint from seeing you smile, going limp with a smile on his face before he’d open his arms, asking you to take shelter in them.

When Harry was giving a show, it was always a good time. When Harry was giving a show that you were there to watch? That was unmatched.

His eyes would always find their way to you, smiling and shaking his head whenever he’d catch you wildly dancing; spinning around, jumping, screaming the lyrics. But Harry knew that you were always so focused on him during his show that you always forgot to drink from the flask he had gotten you ages ago, kept safe in the crocheted bottle holder around your shoulder and down your side that you and Harry both had bought from a flea market.

It would always be between songs when he’d look at you, bring his hand together to form what seemed to be a cup and tilt it slightly to his mouth to remind you to drink, and he’d always smile when he’d watch you open your bottle and drink.

And it was within moments of fan interactions, and how Harry was never embarrassed nor anything but excited to talk about you.

“How long have you been together?” He asked a couple, “4 years?! That’s how long my girlfriend and I have been together!” He beamed, eyes glistening with excitement and bunny teeth on full display along with his dimple, “What month? November? No, my girl and I win this round. We’ve been-We’ve been together a few months longer than you.”

And while “I love you” was a nice reminder to hear and a good promise to utter, it was always the smallest of moments of it all.

[fetusharryluvr]

i’maceleb!universe introduction

this is an idea that came to me after reading @finelinevogue’s love island series, so inspo creds to them <3

Y/N

As you sat in the chair positioned infront of the bed in your hotel room, you greeted the camera with a wide smile, “I’m Y/N L/N and I am an actress. You probably best know me from playing Daphne in Netflix’s Bridgerton!” Once you introduced yourself, the man behind the camera proceeded to ask you various questions about the show.

“I would say my biggest fear is probably heights. Oh, and spiders!” You gasped, “I’m not a big spider girl, not at all. I still have to ring my dad every time one crawls into the bath.” You chuckle.

“I’d say that I cope well under pressure, but I’m also a very emotional person,” you laugh, holding your hands up in a shrug, “So I guess we’ll see how it goes!”

Your speedboat dropped you off at a pier, covered in red carpet. Just as you stepped on, you were met with a small round table holding five glasses of champagne. You swiftly took one for yourself and took a sip, walking down the carpet and onto the main part of the pier. There wasn’t anyone else around, you observed, so you assumed you were the first one to arrive.

You didn’t have to wait long for the others though, as you heard the roar of a speedboat engine quickly approaching, and your eyes almost popped out of your head when you saw who was onboard.

HARRY

“Hello! My name is Harry Styles and I guess I’m best known for being a singer-songwriter.” He flashed a quick smile, putting his dimples on full display.

He pursed his lips as he thought about the questions he was being asked. “I’m really excited to get in there. I’ve actually been asked quite a few times to come on the show, and I always declined… but life’s too short, and I think it’ll be a lot of fun!”

“I’m not great with snakes,” he shook his head just at the thought of the creature slithering around him, “So I’m not sure how I’ll be on that front. Probably should’ve thought of that before I came on the show… it’s not too late to go home, is it?” He laughed.

Whilst watching him make his way off of the boat, you knew exactly who it was. Harry Styles. After grabbing himself a glass and sauntering over to you, he lifted up his sunglasses onto his head and looked at you with a huge grin plastered across his face. “Hello,” he greeted, pulling you in for a hug, to which you happily obliged, “I’m Harry, it’s nice to meet you.”

You pulled away from the embrace, smiling back at him. “It’s great to meet you, Harry, I’m—”

“Y/N!” He excitedly exclaimed, his cheeks flushing red when he realised he cut you off. “I’m sorry,” He laughed, “I’ve seen you in Bridgerton, you’re incredible.”

Now your cheeks, too, were flushing red. “Awh, thank you.” Of course, you’d heard his songs on the radio, and you’d seen pictures of him online, but nothing compared to meeting him in the flesh. He was a lot taller than you’d expected, and his dimples were so big you could pay a months rent to stay in there.

Little did you know how thrilled Harry was to be stranded in the middle of the jungle for 3 weeks with you.

[finelinevogue]

baby fever

summary - it’s wembley night one and you are really warm and pregnant

word count: ~1k

pairing: husband!harry x pregnant!reader

a/n: you can count on an anxious ellie the night before her harry concert to pull through with a blurb

Backstage was chaos.

A good chaos though. The night of a show is always so hectic backstage. A good buzz of people rushing for final checks and enjoying a drink in efforts of their hard work putting the show together.

Mitch was tending to Sarah and their baby.

Madi was vocally preparing for her big moment.

Jeff was here, on the phone as always.

Harry was nowhere to be seen.

And you. Well you couldn’t move far with the size of your baby bump anymore.

Not only was the baby bump heavy to carry, but also made your body ten times warmer than normal. In this heat too, it was not a fun experience.

If you knew where Harry was right now you’d thump him on the head for knocking you up. How dare he.

This was all jokes though and you actually have thoroughly enjoyed being pregnant. Getting tended to and loved on a little extra from Harry made everything worth it. It was no lie that you and Harry were excited. You just had to make it through these tough days first.

Harry had left you in his dressing room, surrounded by fans to help cool you down.

However, he’s been gone for an hour now and the fans aren’t doing anything to help your body temperature cool. Being pregnant in this heat is disgusting.

So, after a good ten minutes manoeuvring, you moved to the bathroom instead, where the tiles were cold.

Now you’re laying on your back, like a starfish, as you attempt to cool yourself down better with the cold tiles.

You’d think this stadium would have air-con…

The tiles weren’t really working either, but they were better than the fans.

“Babe?!” Harry called out from the dressing room, most likely worried for your whereabouts.

He walked in the bathroom moments later, his panicked face slowly disappearing after finding you. He leant against the doorframe on one arm and crossed his legs over as he stood smiling over you.

“Don’t laugh.” You said, eyes closed to try and focus on coming your body down.

Your eyes closed meant that you missed Harry taking a quick photo of you to add to his pregnancy photo album of you.

“I’m not.” He replied.

“You’re definitely smiling. I can feel it.” You said and Harry laughed at that, making his tiny giggle that had your insides fluttering.

“Shut up you.” Harry giggled. “Are you okay down there, baby?” He asked to make sure.

Next thing you know, before you’ve even replied, Harry is knelt down next to you in his shorts and tshirt. One of his hands rests on your belly, whilst your other goes to brush over your forehead.

“Don’t touch me.” You said, eyes still closed to the world.

“That’s something I don’t hear very often.”

“Yeah and it’s also the reason I’m in this predicament right now.”

Harry can sense you rolling your eyes even with them shut.

“I’m sorry, babe.”

“Control the weather better next time.” You replied, making him laugh again.

“Do you want to move or get some water?”

“No and no.”

“Please? At least some water? For me?” He persisted and even though you really didn’t want to move, you knew he was right in making you have some water.

Harry doesn’t really give you the option and instead moves to fetch a water bottle for you.

When he brings it back, you sit up a little with the help of Harry. Harry tilts the bottle for you, as you hold you body up by your hands.

Once you’ve done, Harry sits his back against the wall and motions for you to sit on the opposite side. He would really love for you to be cuddled up against him right now, but he knows that wouldn’t be the best idea for you or your baby.

Now he can see your eyes, he is much happier. Your eyes show him that you’re still happy, regardless of this horrible weather. That sparkle in your eyes is there because of him.

“Thank you.” You tell him, for the water. “Feel like a sausage on a barbecue.”

“A sexy sausage.”

You huff out a chuckle, “I’m too exhausted to even be grossed out by that.”

“Well that just confirms that you’re not 100% yourself, lovie.” Harry laughed.

“I apologise in advance if I can’t make it out for your set, H.” You pout and Harry shakes his head at you.

“Absolutely not. No apologies. I want you and baby safe, okay? You go at your own pace.”

“Might make it in time just to go crazy at Kiwi.”

“So, you mean just nodding your head?” Harry teased you because he knows you really can’t move very much with the big baby bump.

“Maybe even tap my foot.” You carried on the joke.

“Oh jheez babe. Don’t overdo it.”

You smile and Harry copies you.

“I love you. I’m so fucking proud of you.” You tell him.

“It’s funny how I’m about to play a sold out stadium and yet I’m more proud of myself for finding you and becoming a parent with you.”

You hum in delight over his words.

Harry chuckled, moving forward to bend and kiss your bump gently, “I love you baby.” He says as he leans up and finds your lips next, “And I guess you’re okay too.”

[freedomfireflies]

Hii do you have any fluff recommendations?

OMG OMG okay okay let's see!!

Honestly, I feel like @reveriehs has the best collection of fluff on her page!! And I know you can search Harry Styles Fluff on Tumblr!! A BUNCH of really good ones come up (like from @harrysfolklore, @watchmegetobsessed, @meetmymouth, @finelinevogue, @stylescine, @musicforastylesrestaurant, @fkinavocado, @tobesocourtney, and @be-with-me-so-happily who all have some REALLY amazing and fluffy pieces that are so sweet, they give you the best toothache in the world)

But I also just read Sun-Kissed by @1d1195 which I am OBSESSED with!! There's a hint of smut but it's still so fluffy and soft and this entire story feels like a perfect summer day and I'm so down bad

And Breakfast in Bed by @justlemmeadoreyou that still has me grinning 😭💞💞

I HOPE THAT SOMEWHAT HELPS!!! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! AND YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM, I GUARANTEE!!

WHEN I HAVE MORE TIME, I'LL TRY TO COME BACK AND LINK SPECIFIC PIECES!! But search up any of those authors and look for the fluff tag on their page and you will be well fed!!

[henrysteelsmurryme]

EPISODE 2 (~6k words)

let me know what date ideas you guys would want to see in future parts !! (both group and one-on-one)

This was also inspired by finelinevogue’s love island series! Check it out!

EPISODE 1 – EPISODE 2

bachelorry masterlist

WARNINGS: conversation about poor mental health and suicide

: :

The women sit anxiously on the couches in the villa. Sheridan, a twenty-three year old fifth-grade teacher, stands before them, holding a card in her hands as she eyes her friends mischievously.

Slowly, she opens the envelope. Beau senses a camera pointing toward her, so she tries to keep her face neutral as Sheridan begins reading the names for the first group date.

Ideally, you don’t want to hear your name; that means you get a one-on-one date with Harry. Everyone is itching for some time alone with the man, especially those who didn’t even get to speak with him the first night. 

Realistically, everyone is happy to at least spend some time with him outside of the house. Some women’s smiles are forced, some are genuine.

Beau’s smile when she hears her name is a little forced, because she’s confused.

She thought she and Harry had really clicked the first night. If she’s being quite honest, she thought of herself as being at the top of his list, just because of how well their conversation flowed and how easily they had clicked.

Now, her name being called for the group date confirms how cocky she was. She had a little taste of reality when she learned that Harry had already kissed a woman, Anna, the first night, as well as given her the first impression rose.

Honestly, Beau needed this reality check. She really thought that Harry felt the same for her as she does for him, and she thought it was only her. Now, she realizes how utterly stupid and naive she is to think that.

Harry is dating thirty women. He has already kissed one and given her the first impression rose, and now he has asked two other women on one-on-one date’s. And none of those women are Beau.

She can’t just coast through this process. She can’t think she is the only woman in the world for Harry, that he can’t possibly feel the same for the other women as he does for her. If she continues this, she’ll end up blindsided and devastated.

She’s going to have to work, essentially. She’s going to have to put in actual effort in order to come out on top. However, she is more of a journey-oriented type of gal rather than a results-oriented one; she can’t lose herself in this process, and she can’t manipulate her way to the final four. It wouldn’t be right, and it would, frankly, be impossible—she can’t be bothered to pretend to be anyone else but herself; she wouldn’t even know how to do that.

The hint for the group date is ‘The church bells are ringing.’ Some women groan theatrically, some huff, and others are beaming.

Beau and Juniper share a look before rolling their eyes. It’s a bridal shoot.

“Classic,” she deadpans as she pushes herself off the couch.

The women get ready fairly quickly, considering that the clothes they’re wearing to the date are going to be taken off.

When the van pulls up to the destination, with the cameras panned on them, the women squeal excitedly, mostly because Harry is standing at the entrance.

He’s wearing a pair of dark fitted jeans accompanied with a brown belt and a cream, lacy, short-sleeved, collared shirt over a white tank. His hair sits nicely on top of his head, with a couple stray curls falling over his forehead.

The women run to him. Miranda, a twenty-six-year-old waitress leads the group, sprinting to Harry and jumping into his arms. Harry laughs as he hugs her, and the woman wraps her legs around his waist.

“So fucking extra,” Juniper mumbles to her. She huffs, and Beau smirks at her expected irritability.

Every woman greets Harry with a hug. Beau gives him a wide grin, subtly inhaling his cologne. She almost moans at the scent, which would be just about the most humiliating thing she could ever do. The spicy aroma combined with tobacco and vanilla envelop her senses. She wants to nuzzle her nose into his neck and be wrapped up in his strong arms all day.

She also swears Harry’s got a twinkle in his eye as he smiles warmly at her. She’s definitely going crazy already.

He makes his spiel about how he can already see his future wife in this group. He says he wants the women to have fun dressing up, and to have fun with him during this date. He introduces them to Franco, the Bachelor Nation’s photographer, and then he dismisses the women to let them find the dress for them.

: :

“Oh, my Gosh,” Ariana throws her head back and lets out a theatrical groan. “Not the bridal shoot. It’s so cringe.”

“Like, it’s the first group date. Plus, it’s so overdone.”

The women on the couch watch with deadpanned faces as the women on the screen squeal at the hundreds of dresses in front of them. Immediately, they rush to different areas of the store, delicately pulling the skirts and admiring the gowns.

The shot then switches to Harry, who’s in a separate, smaller room, slipping into a black suit. 

“Hm. I thought he would go for something a little more…out there.”

“I’m excited for this date,” Harry voices over as he continues to dress. Then the camera cuts to him standing outside the shop, where they obviously had filmed him before the women arrived. “I think the women pretty much know what this is going to be.” He laughs. “I love to dress up, and I’m sure they love to dress up. It’s supposed to be fun, with no competition or anything like that. I just want them to enjoy this and have fun with it.”

“That’s a bunch of BS.” Ariana barks out a laugh. “There’s always one person who gets all jealous or who does too much.”

They continue to watch as the women rush around the store and try on gowns.

“What do you think of this?” Beau asks Juniper.

Juniper takes one look at the dress, her upper lip curling just so. Her face makes the women on the couch laugh. “I’d rather just not answer.”

Beau barks out a laugh, then she nods at the one in Juniper’s hands. “Are you gonna try that on?”

“I could not be friends with Juniper,” Jaclyn says, shaking her head. “I’m way too sensitive, and she’s kinda mean.”

“I don’t think she’s mean,” Ariana counters. “She’s just…blunt. I think she’s a little uptight, too.”

“Juniper’s…a tough-love kind of gal,” Beau says on screen, coincidentally continuing the viewer’s conversation. “She’s lucky I don’t get offended easily, or else I’d cry the moment she glares at me.” She laughs, then the camera pans back to the duo, where they’ve each tried on a dress and are admiring themselves in the mirror.

“I like this,” Beau says confidently, smoothing her hands down the dress, despite it being the one Juniper snarled at.

It’s a silky ivory gown, with the material softly draping across the bust. It drapes lowly along the back as well, revealing most of her skin. It fits along her body, showcasing any curves, and then flows out behind her. Once again, like her jumpsuit on the first night, there are no embellishment, no jewels, nor lace.

The red head sighs. “As long as you like it.”

“Shut up,” Beau laughs, and Juniper joins in with her. “At least I don’t look like a tablecloth.”

Juniper’s ivory dress is elegant with obvious Victorian inspiration. The main centerpiece is the embroidered tulle capelet with Guipure lace dangles. It pins around her neck, and drapes down to her hands, and covers her abdomen. The dress itself is simple, slim-fitting with lace embellishments.

“[Bleep] you.” Then Juniper gasps and makes quick eye contact with the camera, then with someone off camera. She lets out a laugh, and turns back to the mirror, admiring herself. “This is timeless,” she says snootily, straightening her back and lifting her chin.

“Which is another word for ‘old.’”

The viewers giggle at their banter.

“No, it’s cute though. I love it."

“Same. It fits your style very well.”

“See?” Ariana says, “She does have a nice side.”

The camera then cuts to the women standing outside, near a display. There are white rose petals scattered all over the lush green grass, underneath an arch with thick, green foliage and small white flowers.

Then Harry walks up, in the black suit. The viewers then see that underneath the jacket is a lace shirt, and instead of a tie, he is wearing a black neck bow.

“See? I knew there was going to be something quirky.”

The women scream excitedly as he approaches them, yelling their compliments and telling him how good he looks. 

“Thank you, ladies.” He bows slightly, pressing his lips together to smother the bashful grin. “You all look beautiful.”

The women line up, bouncing on their feet and trying to muffle their ecstatic grins as they wait their turn.

They look beautiful, wearing different kinds of dresses that fit their personality. Each one steps up to Harry, getting real close as Franco snaps shot after shot.

Juniper and Beau are near the end of the group, because Beau said to save the best for last. Juniper then said that she would go last.

Some of the women’s pictures with Harry are serious. Some are goofy, with the couples laughing and teasing each other. Almost all of them kiss Harry, wrapping their arms around his neck and popping a leg.

In front of Beau is Miranda, wearing an off-the-shoulder royal ivory gown. The fabric appears to be honeycomb, with an elegant bateau neckline, and long sleeves. To complete the look, she’s wearing a crowned veil that is as long as the train.

“You look like a modern princess,” Beau says, smiling at her.

“Thank you!” Then Miranda eyes her dress, her smile tightening into something a little more faux. “I saw your dress on the rack and thought it was too plain for me.” She laughs. “I guess I just like to be extra.”

“Okay?”

“Bitch.”

Beau shrugs, an easy smile on her face. “Well, you look beautiful.”

After Miranda turns around, Beau turns back to Juniper, her smile dropping and her upper lip curling in a ‘what the fuck?’ face. Juniper returns a snarl and rolls her eyes. 

Beau huffs quietly and turns to the front. She dips her chin and examines her dress, hesitantly smoothing her hands down the fabric.

Juniper leans in, the microphones picking up what she whispers into her ear. “Ignore her. You look beautiful. Seriously.”

“Thanks,” Beau says quietly, lifting her chin and watching Miranda pose with Harry. She sucks in a deep breath, her shoulders rising then falling with the exhale. She squares her shoulders and smiles when Harry looks at her.

He’s sporting a cheesy grin as she approaches him. She narrows her eyes, and his grin only grows.

He shakes his head, as if in awe. He grabs her hand and carefully scans her dress. When he meets her eyes, he says, “Your name becomes more and more fitting every time I see you.”

The women squeal and shriek on the couch, gasping for breath and grasping each other for support.

The camera catches Beau rolling her eyes good-naturedly, pressing her lips together. “Shut up. You look beautiful.”

Harry raises his eyebrows, his features slacking. “I look beautiful?”

She nods, looking into his eyes, then her gaze falls to his chest. “I love the shirt, and the tie.”

Harry swallows thickly, smoothing a hand down his jacket as he shuffles in his spot. He wraps a hand around her waist, preparing the couple for the shoot. “Thank you.”

He turns to face the camera, and Beau glances at him—or, more notably, his cheeks—once more, a smirk on her face before she also turns her head. “Wait, the right side is my good side.”

Harry huffs, making a show of rolling his eyes as he drops his arm from her waist, lifting the other one as she rounds his body. “Happy?”

Beau sighs contently, posing and smiling for the camera. “Yep.” She lays a hand on his chest, angling her body towards him. He pulls her closer, his firm grip on her waist making her feel hot all over.

“Beautiful!” Franco sings, snapping picture after picture.

Beau then digs her fingers into Harry’s waist. He squawks, twisting his body away from her fingers as the camera continues to shutter. He turns his body, pressing his front tightly against hers.

He reaches down and grabs her hands, and she tries to resist as he lifts them. Eventually, she gives up, and he rests them on his chest, laying his hands over hers, staring right into her eyes.

“Yes! I love it!”

Despite her efforts, a small smile stretches Beau’s lips.

“Oh, my God,” Jaclyn whines. “Do you see the way they’re looking at each other?”

Ariana pouts. “I want someone to look at me like that.”

“Did you see him blush when she called him beautiful? That was so cute.”

“I would dip you,” she says quietly, “but I know I would drop you.”

Harry smiles. “We wouldn’t want that.” Then he quickly wraps his arms around her waist and dips her.

Beau’s mouth falls open in shock as her world is flipped upside down. She’s laughing, her eyes crinkling shut, as she reaches out and wraps her arms around his neck.

Then Harry leans down and kisses her. Beau barely has time to shut her eyes before he’s pulling her back up. She sways a little, and Harry laughs and holds her hips to steady her.

“Shut up!” Ariana yells at the television. “That was so cute.”

: :

The women get ready for the final part of the group date: the “cocktail” party. It’s more casual than the official cocktail party, so Beau wears a pair of straight-legged, light-washed jeans, a fitted white crop top with a large black leather jacket over it, and a pair of chunky black boots.

The setting is cozy, with dark wood flooring and furniture, and dim lighting.

Immediately, when the women walk in, their eyes land on the single rose delicately laid on the table between the couches. The mood then shifts from one of ease and jokes to something a little more serious.

It’s a good reminder that not everyone’s time here is the same. Some are going home this week, some the next week, and some won’t go home until the show is over.

It reminds Beau that she needs to work. There is no coasting; her rose isn’t guaranteed just because of a few positive interactions.

Harry sits in the middle, the women surrounding him. “Thank you for coming on this group date with me. I hope you guys had just as much fun as I did. I really enjoyed the small moments each of us shared, and I hope to have some more with each of you tonight.” He raises his glass in the air, the women following. Together, the group says, “Cheers!”

Almost immediately after, Miranda grasps Harry’s arm and asks to pull him for a chat.

Beau pushes down her irritation, because it’s mostly directed at their interaction earlier in the day. For some unknown and bothersome reason, she hasn’t been able to fully move past it.

“Don’t worry about her. That was a bitchy move,” Juniper assures her.

“What was?” Sheridan asks.

Beau shrugs, appearing nonchalant. “She just made a comment about how my dress was ‘plain.’” She inhales deeply and shrugs, opening her mouth to speak more, but she finds she doesn’t know what else to say.

“Oh, what the fuck?” Sheridan makes a face. “You looked gorgeous! I absolutely loved, like,” she gestures a curved line to her own chest, “the front and how it was draped in the back as well. She’s been making comments like that all day.”

Beau sighs. “It’s whatever. I’m just gonna ignore it.”

“Or you can confront her so it doesn’t happen again,” Juniper suggests, a little impatiently.

Beau wrinkles her nose. “Nah.” Her friend rolls her eyes.

One by one, the women leave to talk with Harry, until Juniper and Bella are the only ones left.

“Since you said you didn’t get to talk with him much during the cocktail party, you can go before me.”

“Ugh!” Beau leans back against the couch and squeezes her eyes shut. “I don’t want to do that again.”

“It’s Sheridan. She’ll let you steal him. And don’t think about what happened the first time.” She pauses. “Or the second time.” Beau lifts her head to glare at her. “Sorry. Just don’t think about that. You were able to do it last time, so,” she shoos her with her hands, “go do it right now so I have enough time to talk to him, too.” Then her voice hardens with impatience. “I’ll be pissed if I don’t get more than five minutes with him.”

“Fine, fine, fine.” Beau reluctantly stands, and she drags her feet as she maneuvers her way through some hallways, finally finding the room where she hears Harry’s and Sheridan’s voices.

Thankfully, the blonde woman is a sweetheart, and says, “Of course!” when Beau interrupts and asks to take Harry.

Harry’s smile is small but no less smitten. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Beau sits on the loveseat beside him. When their thighs touch, Beau is painfully reminded of their brief kiss earlier. Before she even realized that he was kissing her, it was over. She didn’t get to truly feel his lips, to taste him.

As she glances at his plump lips, all she wants to do is kiss him. They can save talking for the rose ceremony.

Harry stretches an arm out, laying it on the back of the seat behind Beau. The hairs on the back of her neck brush against the fabric of his jacket. “Did you have fun today?”

She nods. “I did. I really enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun.”

“Yeah? I’m glad. I had a lot of fun, too.” He looks deeply into her eyes, and now that Beau is able to hold eye contact, she notices his gaze flicker down every once in a while. He’s looking all over her face—much like she’s doing right now, actually.

“So…” he says intentionally. “Tell me about yourself.”

Beau makes a pained face. “How about you ask me questions, and I’ll answer them.”

He slowly nods, shuffling in his seat. He crosses his legs, angling his body towards her.

Beau really appreciates the little things he does when he’s around her—and the other women, probably—to let her know that he has her full attention. The body language, the eye contact, the attentive listening—it makes her feel like the only woman in his world.

“What was your biggest obstacle you had to overcome?”

Beau scrunches her face up, making Harry laugh. “Oh-kay. I thought you were gonna start off with something easy, like my favorite color.”

He nods quickly. “Oh, yeah. What is your favorite color?”

“Purple, yours?”

“Orange.”

Beau nods approvingly. “Interesting. I feel like that’s an unpopular opinion.”

Harry shrugs, a grin on his face. “What can I say? I’m a—” Then his eyebrows furrow, and his mouth remains open. “Wait, no.”

Beau chuckles and shakes her head, Harry joining in. She can smell his minty breath as it caresses her face, and she wants to lean in and nudge her head against his jaw, which is an urge she has never felt before, nor was she aware that it could be a thing.

Beau doesn’t consider herself as someone who’s interested in PDA, despite having never been in a relationship before. But being twenty-seven years old, she knows things about herself, and she just thinks that she would keep the PDA pretty limited.

She thinks.

Beau hums, looking into the distance to think of an answer to his first question, despite already having one. She’s just trying to think of a different answer, one that isn’t so long and boring. It’s one she’s repeated plenty of times, and it’s been so long since all the juicy stuff happened that she doesn’t even remember the juicy details. Each time she repeats the story, it keeps getting shorter and shorter, so what’s the point of even telling it to him?

She lets out a resigned sigh, knowing that she’s taken too much time thinking, and she hasn’t come up with anything else other than ‘I don’t really have a sob story.’

That’s what she thinks of when the contestants on this show ‘open up.’ It’s just sob story after sob story with some trauma dumping sprinkled in.

That being said, however, Beau isn’t one to undermine others’ experiences; she already does that enough to herself.

“Well,” she starts, already regretting this. “I guess my little story starts during my last year of college. I…Um. Well, a month into the semester, I was already thinking about taking a mental health leave.”

Harry’s face neutralizes into a serious expression, one that Beau isn’t a fan of. She doesn’t want this to be a heavy conversation. “I just…could never relax. I felt like I was constantly doing work and when I wasn’t doing work I was worrying about what I wasn’t doing. And yet, I still felt like I was behind, just, all the time.”

She inhales deeply, trying to reign in the right words. “I…Like, when I would go home, I would cry every single time I had to go back to school, and…” She lets out an incredulous scoff. “I didn’t even do that freshman year when my parents said goodbye after dropping me off for the first time. I never cried going back to college; I always looked forward to going back. But…” She shrugs. “Senior year, I…School just wasn’t fun anymore. The moment I stepped onto campus, I was anxious and stressed to amounts I couldn’t handle.”

She pauses, wondering just how deep she should go. One thing she also hates is that when she takes the time to really dive into that year, it still makes her choke up, and it still—annoyingly—makes her cry sometimes.

“I…I was crying everyday. And I used to be someone that never cried, like. I never cried, but I was crying every day, before class, after class, during class. I would sit in the back of the class and just—cry.”

She avoids Harry’s eyes, knowing that those damn windows to the soul are as clear and transparent as air. She doesn’t want to look at that right now.

She keeps beating around the bush, because she still hasn’t made up her mind on whether she should tell him or not. This is the thing she struggles with the most, that she can barely admit now, years later.

She decides to beat it some more. “I was so anxious that I started to get chest pains, and, like—“ she lets out a small laugh. “Before, I didn’t even know chest pains were a thing, like, I didn’t realize that your chest would actually hurt.” She takes the risk and spares a glance at Harry as she lets out another quiet laugh, hoping that he joins in so the air between them isn’t so tense and awkward and silent. It’s completely silent between Harry and the producers and cameramen. They’re all just standing there, watching her.

It’s not making it any easier. “But, like, it was affecting everything. My relationships with my friends completely tanked. I just wanted to be alone, because I’d be so exhausted from faking interest in conversation with strangers during the day that I could barely do it with the people that mattered. I could tell, in real time, that things were weird between me and my friends. I was getting more sensitive, I laughed less, smiled less, joked less. I knew it, as it was happening, and…I couldn’t do anything about it. And I didn’t really want to either.”

She feels a familiar lump annoyingly form in her throat. This is the last thing she wanted to talk about. She thought she could save the sob story for later. She wanted to talk about different things, about her family and friends and things she likes to do. Not that she wanted to kill herself for years, which she still hasn’t got to actually saying.

She swallows thickly. “And then basketball started, and I felt a lot of pressure as the captain and the senior, and…It used to be an escape from all the stress of school.” She sighs heavily, continuing in one breath. “And then during a game I was playing so bad that my coach screamed at me at half time, and then I started bawling my eyes out when everyone left the locker room, and I told my coach that I thought I was depressed.” She clenches her jaw, hating that her eyes are starting to glisten. “I cried the entire second half. I played maybe a minute, all while trying to not cry on the court, and then Coach pulled me out and I stood behind the bench and cried the rest of the game.”

She takes a moment to smile bitterly, desperately trying to ease this tension. She softly snorts out a laugh and sends a teasingly accusing glare at Harry, because this is all his fault.

His features soften, and he bends his arm and rests his temple against the heel of his palm. His other hand lays itself on her thigh and his thumb rubs comforting circles into the denim. “You don’t have to continue,” he says softly.

Beau says with a sigh, “No, you already made me start, so I might as well finish.”

He finally lets out a soft snort of amusement.

“Anyways. I…Well, that kind of sparked this whole downward spiral of my mental health. I couldn’t wait to graduate, to get out of there. I didn’t want to see my friends, I…didn’t want to be there anymore. And I thought that when I left that all my anxieties would stay there, and I would go home and be normal again. Which—” another wry smile “—I knew it was naive, foolish, wishful thinking.” She looks down at her lap, her voice considerably lower. “I was just hopeful, I guess.

“So, surprise, things didn’t get better when I got home. Miraculously, they got worse.” She gulps, wondering if she should really open this can of worms. “I…The first semester, I…Every day…” She presses her lips together and twists them, thinking about how she’s going to say this. “I thought a lot about, just…” She sighs, her voice quiet and grave, a tone Harry never really thought she would ever use, “taking my car and driving down the highway at three in the morning and…” Now she’s really starting to choke up. She takes a moment to swallow down the lump in her throat and blink away the tears. “Just, go as fast as I can and drive right into a bridge or something concrete.”

She wants to continue speaking immediately after saying it, to brush over it as quickly as possible, but she finds herself stuck, which gives everyone in the room plenty of time to let her words sink in.

“I knew I would never do it,” she says surely. “Really. I looked it up, and there’s active suicidal thoughts, and there’s passive ones. I was thinking about it. Constantly. But I knew that I would never follow through. I…already thought of every way possible to do it, and I crossed every single one out except for…” she nods suggestively, “the car, but…I knew I was never going to do that either.

“It’s like…that one song. She says, like, I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live like this. Like, that’s exactly how I felt. I didn’t want to actually die; I just hated how I was living, and I really didn’t see it getting any better, because I just refused to get better. I knew I had to get better, but it was hard, and it was somehow easier and more comfortable to stay miserable and depressed.”

Thankfully, her eyes have dried up. “It got so much worse after I graduated. The thoughts and the depression seriously set me back in finding my big-girl job. It’s…It’s something I still struggle with. It’s not nearly as bad as before, but…sometimes I still get into these episodes.”

Her voice takes on a much lighter tone. “But, you know, I’ve been in therapy and I dabble in medications, so it’s a lot easier to manage, and…yeah.”

She presses her lips together and awkwardly smiles, staring at the floor ahead of her.

She doesn’t realize how tense she is until Harry’s arm lays itself back against her shoulders. His hand drapes down and delicately traces up and down her shoulder opposite of him.

“Thank you for telling me,” he says softly, to which Beau almost rolls her eyes at. He notices. “I—Sorry, I—“ He exhales shortly, then sits up straight, angling his body to completely face her. His forearm brushes her shoulder, his hand still on her thigh. “How would you like me to respond?”

And it takes Beau everything in her to not start bawling her eyes out in front of the small crowd in this room.

When she speaks, her voice is shaky and thick with emotion. “Um…” She clenches her jaw, looking away when her eyes start to well up with tears again. “I…I don’t know,” she says sadly, feeling overwhelmed with guilt for making Harry feel guilty about the way he reacted, and then having no solutions to offer when he asks for them.

Harry carefully studies her for a moment, then he murmurs, “Come here,” as he reaches for Beau’s hand and wraps an arm around her shoulders to bring her to his body.

Immediately, her arms wrap around his abdomen, and she hides her face in his neck. She holds him tightly, inhaling deep and calculated breaths.

Harry holds her firmly, and one hand reaches up to cup the back of her neck, his thumb softly pacing across her skin. He can feel her breaths on his neck, can feel the tremble of her body, can feel the moisture of her tears.

Beau calms down rather quickly in his arms, so much so that she almost falls asleep before he gently pulls away.

The look they share is soft and vulnerable. Harry reaches up and swipes the remnants of her crying from her cheeks. Beau sniffles one last time before slowly standing up, feeling exhausted in every sense.

Harry holds her hand tightly as they begin to walk out of the room. Then Beau spits out, quietly, “I don’t want the rose.”

He knits his eyebrows together. “What?”

“I don’t want the rose,” she repeats in the same quiet, rushed tone. She doesn’t explain herself any further, leaving him alone in the room, but not before giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

When she returns to the area where all the women are quietly chatting, Juniper gives her a harsh glare, her voice even harsher. “I thought I told you to not take too long. I don’t even get to talk to him now!”

Beau rushes to the couched, desperate to get out from under the women’s irritated and judgmental stares. “Sorry,” she says quietly, her voice thick with unshed tears. See, this is what happens when she pours her deepest, darkest secret: she usually can’t stop crying the rest of the night. One small, little thing that normally wouldn’t bother her instead sets her off in a waterfall of tears, like Juniper’s vexed tone.

Luckily, the red-haired woman notices something is off. Her furrowed eyebrows quickly shift from anger to concern, and she rests a hand on her friend’s arm. “Are you okay?” she asks quietly.

Beau nods stiffly, staring straight ahead at the rose on the table. “Yeah.”

Juniper narrows her eyes at her obvious lie, but she thankfully drops it for the time being. She keeps her hand on Beau’s arm, softly stroking her fingers up and down her skin. She wonders what she and Harry could have possibly talked about to get Beau this quiet. With how bubbly and happy-go-lucky the woman is, Juniper never really thought that this version of Beau existed. She thinks it must have been a pretty serious and heavy conversation, and her heart aches for the woman beside her, who’s obviously going through things Juniper would never have guessed.

The chatter amongst the women is quiet and tense with nerves. They constantly steal glances at the lonely rose on the table, then at the doorway where Harry should be appearing any minute.

Beau hasn’t said a word since her quiet apology. Her posture is stiff as she props her elbow on the couch armrest, holding her chin with her thumb and covering her mouth with her fist. She’s starting hard at the ground, her eyes unblinking. Her chest rises and falls smoothly with her even breaths.

When Harry finally enters the room, the women shoot to their feet, sending him soft smiles as he squeezes past him to sit in the middle. He takes a moment to look each woman in the eye, his gaze lingering on Beau when she quickly diverts her eyes and barely gives him a smile.

He reaches for the glass on the table, a warm, grateful smile on his face as he raises it in the air. “Thank you ladies so much for coming on this date with me. I’m so glad I had this time to talk with each of you, and, Juniper, I’ll make sure we have our time to chat before the rose ceremony. I’m sorry we couldn’t talk tonight.”

“It’s fine,” she says with a wave of her hand and a smile on her face. Then she reaches down to Beau’s hand and gives it a squeeze, continuing to hold it afterwards.

Harry gives her a grateful nod and a smile. “I really enjoyed every conversation I shared with you ladies. Some of you opened up in ways that were obviously very difficult, and I appreciate your bravery, your honesty, and your vulnerability.”

He pauses, then reaches forward. He switches out the glass for the rose, and he twirls it with his long fingers as he speaks. “One conversation in particular really jumped out. This woman isn’t afraid to open up and be vulnerable, and that’s something I really admire and strive to be like every single day.”

Yeah…I’m definitely not getting this, Beau thinks. She wonders if, once again, she was too cocky, assuming that Harry would give her the rose after she had just dumped her trauma on him. It’d honestly be really embarrassing if he wasn’t even planning on giving her the rose in the first place.

Beau has watched many, many seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, and one thing that she always found weird was rewarding the person who shared the deepest, most personal sob story. It just never sat right with her, for whatever reason.

Part of her thinks that people try to “steal” roses by talking about a particularly heart-wrenching experience, because they’ve figured out that the deeper they reveal, the more roses they’ll receive because they’re being “open” and “honest” and “vulnerable,” traits all bachelors and bachelorettes desire.

So, no, she didn’t want the rose after revealing the most traumatizing experience of her life. She thinks it would have soiled the moment; she doesn’t need a reward for doing that. She did it, because she wanted to, not because she wanted a rose.

Beau smiles when Harry gives the rose to Sheridan. She looks genuinely grateful, blushing hard when her fingers touch his to receive the rose.

They stand for a quick hug, and Sheridan sits back down as Harry continues to stand. “I’m going to head out for the night. Thank you again, ladies, and I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye’s” and “good night’s” ring through the room until he’s gone, then it’s unnervingly quiet.

: :

let me know what date ideas you guys would want to see in future parts !! (both group and one-on-one)

EPISODE 1 – EPISODE 2

bachelorry masterlist

[vrittivsanghavi]

what are your favourite blogs or mutuals on tumblr 👁👁

Oh damn this is the first time some anon asked me and I couldn't be more happier hehe!🙈❤

Also ny favs are

@stylessupremacy - she's an angel! Just try to start a convo with her and she'll be your bestest friend

@harrysmimi - she's awesome! Her work is amazing!

@tinydestinybear - her koh!harry series is definitely worth reading along with her desi posts❤

There are lot of other blogs which I love to read tho @blu-joons @finelinevogue @lovecanyon @harry-writings @harrysfolklore @yedammi @yougottalovebuckybarnes @astranva @randomtasteinfandoms

[harrystylesslutt]

Exactly I don’t want a life I need shit to read and sleep and obsess over people who don’t know who I am 🙄

yes. exactly like when did i ask for it all to stop? i was enjoying it🧐 bro it got to the point where my routine is just going to @erodasfishtacos or @shroombloomm or @finelinevogue and rereading every single thing they ever wrote. i swear im gonna memorize them someday