65 Question OC Polycule Ask Game
Do you have a bunch of OCs in a polycule? Do you have the burning desire to answer questions about them? Look no further for an excuse to talk about it!
There are footnotes under the cut to explain some potentially unfamiliar terminology.
Remember to send an ask to the person you reblog it from to make sure everyone gets to play!
How many members are in the polycule? How are they related to each other? Feel free to draw a flow chart.
Did the relationship start polyamorous, or was it a monogamous relationship that eventually opened?
If it started monogamous, how did the process of opening the relationship go?
Are there any mono-poly1 relationships in the polycule?
What “shape” is the polycule? A triad, a “V”, a straight line of metamours2, or incomprehensible?
Where do each of the members land on the “solo poly” to “entwined” spectrum?3
Where do each of the members land on the “free agent” to “community oriented” spectrum?4
How did each member realize they were polyamorous? Did they always know, or was there some sort of epiphany?
Do any of the current members practice hierarchical polyamory5? Who are the primary partners?
If the polycule is hierarchical, what differs in the boundaries set for primary vs secondary partners? Tertiary partners?
Have any of the members been in a hierarchical polycule before?
Have any of the members been in a non-hierarchical polycule before?
Do any of the members have a preference between hierarchical and non-hierarchical polyamory?
What’s the craziest polycule drama they’ve experienced so far?
Have any of the members been the unicorn6 of a relationship?
Have any of the members been unicorn hunters7 in the past? Were they successful?
How does each member like to engage with their metamours? Do they want to meet every potential addition, or do they not care at all?
What are their “vetoes” for potential metamours? Do they have any at all?
Which of the members want to live with their partner(s), and which prefer to live alone?
How do each of the members deal with jealousy? How intense is the feeling?
How intense does each member feel compersion8 toward their partners and metamours?
Who has the strongest communication skills in the group? Who has the weakest?
Who does the most scheduling out of all the members?
How do they deal with feelings of loneliness if their partner(s) are spending time with their other partner(s)?
Does the polycule ever have get-togethers or dates where everyone is present? What are they like?
Of the members who live together, what are the household dynamics like? How do they split chores, manage finances, etc.?
Of the members who live together, do they all sleep in one bed too? All separate bedrooms? Something in-between?
What are their sexual dynamics like? Is group sex frequent, or is it purely one-on-one?
Do boundaries shift depending on which partners are involved in sex or romance?
What kind of boundaries exist outside of a romantic dynamic? Are friends-with-benefits considered metamours? Hook-ups?
Are any of the polycule members aromantic? How does that influence their relationship boundaries and their relationship to polyamory in general?
Are any of the polycule members asexual? How does that influence their relationship boundaries and their relationship to polyamory in general?
Do any of the polycule members consider their relationship(s) to be queerplatonic? How does that influence their relationship boundaries and their relationship to polyamory in general?
How have their members’ respective family relationships influenced their polyamorous dynamics?
Were any of the members raised in a polyamorous family?
Are any of the polycule members parents? How many kids do they have?
If there aren’t any kids yet, will there ever be?
How would the polycule deal with one member wanting kids, but another member never wanting kids?
If the relationship opened up after children were already in the picture, how was the change explained to them? Was it explained at all?
Do all members of the polycule raise children together, or are there designated “parent” members?
How does being in a polyamorous relationship influence how boundaries are taught to their kids?
How do the kids feel about their parent(s) being polyamorous? Are they supportive, indifferent, or actively opposed?
Have cultural dynamics played a part in how the polycule operates?
Are any of the members keeping their polyamory a secret? Why?
For mono-poly relationships, how does the monogamous partner see and experience their relationship with a polyamorous person? Their relationships with their metamours?
How did any monogamous partners deal with the idea of opening up a previously closed relationship? Was it a difficult change?
Did any monogamous partners discover they were polyamorous after the relationship opened up? How did they find out?
Do any monogamous partners still struggle to cope with polyamory? What gets them through the hard times?
Were any monogamous partners completely fine with polyamory from the beginning?
How do the polyamorous halves of the mono-poly relationships feel about dating a monogamous person? Is it a unique struggle or smooth sailing?
Do the mono-poly relationships have different boundaries than the poly-poly-poly-poly-etc. relationships?
How well do the metamours get along? Do they even know each other?
Do any of the metamours dislike each other? How does that impact their shared partner(s)?
Do any of the metamours hang out when their shared partner(s) aren’t around?
Do any of the metamours have specific dynamics and/or boundaries with each other? Why?
How do the members feel about marriage? Do they live in a society that recognizes polyamorous marriage at all? If marriage isn’t an option, what about legal protections?
What do any monogamous members think about their polyamorous partner potentially marrying someone else (either in addition to or instead of them)?
How does the polycule celebrate anniversaries?
How does the polycule celebrate birthdays?
If one of the members gets sick, who takes care of them? Is there a rotation of caretakers lining up, or designated partner(s)?
Has anyone experienced a particularly messy break-up while in the polycule? How did everyone handle it?
Which of the members, if any, would be happy in a monogamous relationship if having a polycule wasn’t possible? Would any rather be single than monogamous?
How insecure was each member when starting their polyamorous journey? In what ways?
How did each member overcome their insecurities about relationships? Have they at all?
Wild card! Ask anything you can imagine!
[1] Mono-poly: a relationship that contains both a monogamous and polyamorous person; the monogamous person is only dating one polyamorous partner, but that partner might have other partners in addition to their monogamous partner.
[2] Metamour: the members of a polycule who are dating the same person or people, but aren’t dating each other.
[3] Solo: presents to the world as single at first glance; may not want to live with any partner, or if they do, they may not choose to share finances or property.
Entwined: prefers relationships that are more entwined practically, financially, or both; values sharing living space, spending time in close proximity, sharing financial or household obligations, etc.; may see themselves as part of a unit, a single family that shares responsibilities together and approaches life together.
Definitions taken from “More Than Two” by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert
[4] Free Agent: values personal autonomy highly, places importance on the ability to make their own decisions, and presents to the world as able to act without requiring permission from others; places responsibility for decision-making, and for bearing the consequences, on each person individually.
Community Oriented: focuses on the interconnectedness of their relationships and their community; decisions are made with an eye toward how they might fit with the others.
Definitions taken from “More Than Two” by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert
[5] Hierarchical Polyamory: a kind of polyamory in which the members of the polycule are split into “primary” partners, “secondary” partners, “tertiary” partners, and so on. The higher “ranked” members are given more priority when it comes to spending time together, living arrangements, major life decisions, and overall have more control over the state of the polycule than the lower ranked members. This is in contrast to non-hierarchical polyamory, in which there is no ranking system, all relationships are treated with equal weight, and decisions are made as a group. There is no one proper way to practice polyamory, and both methods can be fulfilling for people who have different needs for their relationships.
[6] Unicorn: stereotypically, a young bisexual woman that is equally attracted to both primary members of a hierarchical polycule or a recently opened monogamous relationship, agrees to give both members equal attention, and agrees to have no additional partners. Referred to as “unicorns” because these strict requirements for a dynamic are basically impossible to find.
[7] Unicorn Hunter(s): stereotypically, the primary members of a hierarchical polycule or a recently opened monogamous relationship who relentlessly search for a “unicorn” to perfect their ideal polyamorous dynamic. Often have very strict requirements of their unicorn, which is why they’re constantly hunting for someone who can fulfill them.
[8] Compersion: the opposite of jealousy; the feeling of joy experienced when seeing your partner happy with their other partner(s).
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I'm still on a fairy tale kick! Please give me 5 headcanons for a Sleeping Beauty AU where All for One made up a story about his brother being cursed to prick his finger on a spinning wheel and die as an excuse to keep poor Yoichi locked up and isolated. Maybe he even faked an evil fairy incident. Thank you!
1- Yoichi loves fairy stories, always has, and the beautiful illustrations of them too. AfO has not, because when Yoichi is paying attention to the books, he isn't paying attention to him. When Yoichi asks him why he hates fairies so much, AfO says it's because they ruined Yoichi, cursed him. Gave him his tendency to be ill, and awkward, and that before his sixteenth birthday, he'd be pricked with a spindle and die.
2- Yoichi is pretty sure he made that up, but unluckily for him he's in the au where AfO gets to have a despotic boyking era, so when the prince asks about fairy stories the staff all nod along because he's sweet, and when AfO glares at them, they agree the curse happened. Every regent or advisor who's attempted to control the kid has ended up very dead, so everyone just kinda hope the boy grows out of it. And well, no one's exactly expecting Yoichi to live even to twenty anyway.
3- When the boys are thirteen, the carriage is attacked by someone jumping out of nowhere in a strange mask, holding out a spindle and lunging for Yoichi. AfO knocks them back and the fae flees. AfO announces it's clearly too dangerous for Yoichi to leave the castle grounds. When the boys are fourteen, Yoichi is enjoying the gardens and picking a flower when a lose spindle drops out of the bush, missing where his hand was by inches. He watches from the window as dozens more are found. AfO declares it too dangerous for Yoichi to go outside. When Yoichi is fifteen, something with glowing eyes half crawls through his window before being chased out, the spindle the only thing left. AfO moves Yoichi to a basement room with no windows.
4- Yoichi tolerates it for a time, before telling his brother that once they turn sixteen, this can end, he'll have beaten the curse. AfO remarks that he must have misheard- the curse was before his sixtieth birthday, not sixteenth. The next time that AfO visits, he finds Yoichi despondent, not reacting to anything, including him. AfO has to threaten to kill random servants and guards before Yoichi will eat, but he only speaks to ask to be released, and AfO finish the story. AfO always refuses.
5- eventually, the servants and guards have had enough. A maid flies into AfO's rooms one morning screeching that there are no guards downstairs anymore, only frogs in tiny suits of armor, and she couldn't find the one with the key to the prince's room. AfO races down with his key, the maid not following but slipping outside, and on opening the door finds Yoichi's bed empty. All that's on it is a spindle, wrapped in silvery hair, not thread, and a piece of paper with a drawing of Yoichi, eyes closed in sleep and wearing a crown of tiny golden spindles, with mirrored writing that says "Don't invite the fair neighbors where you don't want them to step."
+1- while AfO has his breakdown, Yoichi and every guard who'd worked down there is already smuggled out of the palace. For his own part, he's in a cart of straw, listening to Bruce complain that they should have saved a couple of the little suits of armor they'd all worked together to make for the frogs his cousin Hikage had helped collect, and Kudo telling him to stop complaining.
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