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#ask me again in a year and see how the stats have changed uwu
angelhummel · 2 years
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What’s your top ten most played glee songs?
I wish I could look at the stats for that across all music platforms since I got into the show. Like I KNOW Rose's Turn is still sitting at the top of my most played on itunes lmao. But as for spotify my top ten areee...
It's My Life/Confessions
She's Not There
Jessie's Girl
Scream
Halo/Walking On Sunshine
Say A Little Prayer
Bad Romance
Le Jazz Hot
Thriller/Heads Will Roll
Hot Patootie
Now in fairness this doesn't totally represent me as a gleek bc I've stated before that the majority of my music listening comes from me letting a random playlist play on a loop while I sleep for 10-12 hours sooo I'm sure some of them only get played that much bc of that *coughsayalittleprayercough*
Also wow those top three songs make me look like a Finn stan oops I'm obviously not but it's not my fault the songs slap
Also I'm looking at the thing that shows your 50 top tracks of all time and 35 of those are Glee lmao sorry they make good music. As if it's my fault
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fenweak · 4 years
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High School AUs
College/University AUs
⭐ A+ fics (imho) | All of the recs
High School AUs
High Scores by popfly ⭐
Kaner is a DDR master, Jonny is ultra-competitive. Bollig just wants to make out with Shawzy.
Dynamical Systems by jezziejay ⭐ - math geek patrick! jock jonny!
Jonny’s plenty smart, but there’s hockey practice just before a double math period every Tuesday and Wednesday morning. He gets to class on time. Physically, he’s there. But his mind is still on the ice. Throw in a kidney infection that keeps him home for two weeks, and Jonny’s struggling. Not failing, but that C is dragging his GPA down, and his mom is making clucking noises. The same noises that mean hockey time is coming up for review.
There’s a note on the student boards advertising tutoring.
promise i'm worthy (to hold in your arms) [One and Only series] - teenage angst and american douchebags ft. ryan kesler
"So come on and give me a chance to prove I am the one who can walk that mile."
love is a contact sport by hazel, mermaid  ⭐ - high school soulmates!
"And the tragic reality of Patrick's life is that even though they broke up over a year ago, he and Johnny still play beautiful hockey together."
A high school AU, featuring dream-fish, bad movie dates, and a little bit of magic.
Movie Nights or Five Times Jonny Wanted Popcorn (and One Time He Didn’t) by CoffeeKristin
Patrick had only been working at the movie theater a few weeks when a noisy bunch of boys from his high school burst through the doors just before the last showing of Captain America: Civil War and come tumbling into the lobby, whooping it up. He sighed and put down the containers of popcorn he was counting, mentally preparing himself for the asshattery he was likely to endure.
“What can I get you?” he asked the crowd, and true to form, no one was listening so he waited another moment. Finally one of the boys got pushed to the front, stumbling into the counter. “Fuck, Duncs, not so hard,” he said, and oh. That was Jonathan Toews: Captain of the high school soccer team, president of the student council, son of the mayor. Basically, everything Patrick wasn’t.
do it how you want it done ⭐
(very vaguely) grease-inspired high school au.
yeah, i went there.
kissing your honeyed eyes by forochel
The one that's the British boarding school AU.
This Is What A Love Song Sounds Like by fourfreedoms  ⭐ - reunion fic but god the flashbacks! the angst!
When he came out after his freshman year of college his mother said she’d always known, and he’d had to fight down the bizarre wave of paranoia that maybe everybody knew, maybe they’d all just been letting him sweat all those years. It was crazy of course, there was only one person who’d known, who had any idea.Patrick Kane.
Ten years after they fucked around in high school, Patrick and Jonny meet back up at their high school reunion.
roll with it by hazel  ⭐
The one where a bunch of Blackhawks inexplicably go to boarding school, Tazer is the world's meanest DM, and Pat doesn't know why anyone would think cutting the head off a hydra was good idea.
Light Me Up by sahiya - where they both went to Shattuck!
Being serious about hockey always meant Patrick would have to leave home. For a long time he thought it would be for juniors and a billet family. But things don't go as planned, and he finds himself at Shattuck-St. Mary's.
His roommate's name is Jonathan Toews. He can't keep his water bottles on his side of the room, and he's unfortunately, stupidly hot. Because Patrick's life sucks.
boot theory by mentalistecbm - teen angst, break up
Everyone knows that they're broken up.
glory days by liketheroad ⭐ - soulmate, teen angst
He never expected his destiny to involve anything but hockey, never thought it would show up in flip flops, but when Patrick smiles at him across the locker room, quick and surprised, Johnny lets his priorities shift and change without a hint of reluctance or regret.
There's Only Blood Running In My Veins by mikarala - pwp
Patrick and Jonny are making out in Patrick’s bedroom when Jonny says it. “I--I,” he stutters out, in between a moan, “I want you to fuck me.”
Gold Seeking Ends by liveinfury - Flipped AU
“Wanna go on the tire swing with me after?” Jonny asks.
“No,” Patrick answers.
“Oh,” Jonny says, looking deflated. “What about the jungle gym?”
“Nope."
“Um, okay,” Jonny says, shrugging before walking away.Sam giggles some more. “I can’t believe Jonny, the dirt eater, likes you.”Patrick smirks at him. “Everyone likes me.”
(or Patrick and Jonny meet in the second grade. Jonny's instantly smitten, Patrick is...not. Ten years later, things start flipping.)
Keep Calm and Don't Think of Star Wars podfic by exmanhater ⭐ - A Clueless AU
After I once again assure Abby that Johnny and I are not, NOT related (by googling the difference between half-brother and stepbrother because jesus fucking christ am I am the only knowledgeable one around here?), she agrees to help.
but i can write a song 
“We’re not going to be called Jonny and the Patricks,” Jonny says, sounding entirely too put upon  about a name that’s clearly awesome.
[or; the high school band au you probably didn't ask for]
lost in brightness - pat, jon and a crowded train
“You’re gonna get caught one day,” Jonny sighs, herding Pat in front of him as they squeeze onto  the train, the crowd thicker than usual. It’s been raining on and off, fall well and truly taking the city in  its grasp. Jonny’s already looking forward to meeting Pat by his house every morning, red-cheeked  and rugged up, his face barely visible between his toque and scarf.
you're mending what's broken - a stats nerd Patrick story
The guy who sits behind Jonny in AP Stats wants to know how  many shots on goal he had last Tuesday. Or at least, that's how it starts.
A high school AU featuring stats nerd Kaner and his Tragic Hockey  Backstory (TM), without much time or inclination toward actual tragedy. Instead there is  discussion of Corsi. And kissing.
Examine Other Beauties by kiwoa - theater kids!
"I," Jonny says, and he slips his headset up from around his neck to nestle over his ears, "am not an actor."
"Good thing I don't need you to act."
"No."
"Jonny."
"Patrick."
"Please?" Kaner cants forward and tilts his face up to blink at Jonny. In the fluttering light that filters in from the stage, his eyes look unnaturally pale. "Just read the lines, okay? I want to see how well I've memorized them."
Jonny scrubs a hand over his face. The motion knocks his mike askew. "One scene."
A/S/L  ⭐ - 90s teenaged kids meeting on webcam omg
The internet is a dangerous place, or:
Patrick and Jonny meet, lie through their teeth, and fall in love. Mostly that last part.
Actual Prom King Brandon Saad by popfly  ⭐
Patrick might be a little jealous of the new kid.
Sure Brandon is basically the prom king from every feel-good teenage movie Patrick’s sisters have made him watch, but that doesn’t mean Jonny wants that.
Sign it with your heart by tictactoews + podfic by exmanhater  ⭐
Patrick loses a bet and is dared to plant an anonymous love letter into a random locker. It just so happens that the locker belongs to one Jonathan Toews, captain of the school hockey team.Meanwhile, Jonny finds himself in need of a math tutor, and following the advice of his teacher, he asks the new kid, Patrick Kane, for help.
a complicated kindness by liketheroad - young and figuring out d/s  ⭐
Patrick still remembers how scared Sharpy looked, just for a second there. He remembers not understanding why anyone would back away from Johnny when he was like that, why they wouldn’t want to strain closer, pushing to see how much further he’d go.
What Comes Easy by impertinence - summer camp of angst
Kaner's determined to never grow up; Tazer's determined to grow up as quickly as possible. Over eleven years of summer camp, they learn to meet in the middle. Set in stlkrchk's Camp Quaquanantuck universe.
mathletes are totally athletes by ukiyo91, yukonecho
Mathlete Patrick Kane never thought that when he was assigned to tutor hockey jock Jonathan Toews that he would be swept up into a new sport...or into Captain Serious.
Toews was like the guild leader Patrick had always aspired to be in WoW, but more of an asshole.
i'll be the embrace that keeps you warm by longtime_lurker - huddling for warmth
It is like death, but it is not death; lovelier. / Cold, inconvenienced, late, what will you do now / with the gift of your left life?
Clumsy by CoffeeKristin - a short first kiss fic uwu
“Knock it off,” she hissed at him. “He’s looking at you!”
“Who?” Patrick said, his head swiveling around, resulting in Erica smacking him again. “Hey! Quit hitting me!”
“Then quit being an idiot,” she huffed. “Jonny Toews, you dunce. He’s looking over here, and you’re biting on the string of your hoodie like a moron.”
look around once in a while by achilleees
One man’s struggle to take it easy.
Based off of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” but instead of girlfriends and daddy issues, there’s hockey and pining. And daddy issues.
Summer Lovin' by CoffeeKristin - est. relationship insecurities
Patrick's home from summer camp, and Jonny's first on his list of to-do's. Somehow a little actual angst/plot worked it's way in. But mostly it's just porn.
Ninety-Nine Point Three Percent by jimtiberiuskirk - best friends mutually pining
The problem is, is that Patrick is 99.3% sure that Jonny knows all about his giant, embarrassing man-crush on him.
bring it if you really want it by staraflur - harry potter AU
It starts like this:
Well, okay, Patrick has no idea how it actually starts. But as pertains to him (in other words, the important part), it goes a little something like so:
America, being a nation composed in large part of a melting pot of immigrants who may or may not have taken over land already owned by others using less-than-savory means, doesn’t have much of a magical national identity. Much less a magical continental identity. There’s no grand heritage going back thousands of years. Magical families home-schooled all their kids until, like, the 1800’s, and tough for the muggle-born, apparently. Hopefully you got noticed by someone who knew what to do with you before you got burned at the stake. Since you probably can’t control your powers, sport.
(if you're feeling down) i can feel you up by hawkeytime
"Hey," Patrick said appreciatively from behind where Jonny stood, stoic as always, by the side of the pool. "Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you have a sweet ass.”Or: How Patrick Kane spent his summer hitting on the hot lifeguard with the help of some inspired (read: awful) pickup lines.
kiss and tell by hawkeytime 
“Trust me,” Sharpy says, “this will be good for you.”And then, he shoves Jonny into what appears to be a mostly empty coat closet and slams the door shut behind him.
“What the fuck, Sharp!” Jonny calls, pounding at the door which is, of course, locked.
“Enjoy your seven minutes in heaven, Tazer,” Sharpy singsongs.Then, the bare bulb mounted on the ceiling flares to life, illuminating one Patrick Kane.
Fuck.
i know you are (but what am i) by booktubelover7 - always a girl!pat
Pat throws up her arms in celebration after Toews makes a beautiful goal off of Pat’s assist. She crows in celebration as Toews slams into her, shouting in her ear.
Pat’s playing, she’s playing, she’s playing. Not just that, but she’s winning too.When her line gets back to the bench, Pat leans over to speak into Toews’ ear. “Thank you,” she says. Her teammate just turns his head to look at her, a grin spreading across his face.
Love or Torture - a/b/o
Patrick Kane is too short, too Omega, and his heat too delayed for him to play hockey. Jonathan Toews has a plan to bring glory to both of them.
keep buying the stars by medusacascade22- teacher!Jonny 
“Fuck,” Jonny groans. He props his elbows up on his desk and lets his head fall into his hands. It’s going to be a long fucking year.
(or, in which Jonathan Toews is Patrick Kane's teacher, and shit gets real.)
College/Uni AUs
cello suite no. 1 - THIS IS ONE IS A CLASSIC 👌
The first time Jonathan meets Patrick Kane is because he hits him with a lacrosse ball.
In Jonathan's defense, he threw a perfect pass to Seabs, who failed to just reach the one or two feet above his head to catch it.
"Oh shit," Jonathan says when he watched the ball arc across the lawn and whack a blond kid squarely between his shoulder blades.
"Heads up!" he calls belatedly.
this is how we do it series by staraflur ⭐ - frat bros AU!!!
He doesn’t think Zeus is supposed to have a sword, but their Zeus does. So now Jonny does, because of course he’s in charge. He looks, Patrick is drunk enough to acknowledge, far better than anyone has a right to in a grody old Halloween costume that’s probably soaked up the butt sweat of dozens, if not hundreds, of Theta-presidents past. Jonny wears it, Patrick gets the sword. Win-win.
AKA that time there was a frat AU (of course).
This Heart Is Not For Wasting by fourfreedoms - oblivious best friends
Patrick puts his head in his hands. “How could this get any worse?”
“Wait, it’s not like, a big deal is it?” Duncs asks, looking at him and Jonny in turn. “The way you and Jonny are weird about each other? She’s gotta have made her peace with it ages ago.”
A college AU.
love song for love songs by boodreaus  ⭐ - angst, internalized homophobia
“Right,” Jonny says. “Cool.” He seems to hesitate, pausing when Patrick goes for the door handle, and then, right as Patrick’s bracing himself to run for the house, Jonny says, “You should come.”
Patrick turns back at him and is handed a piece of paper. “To our next show, I mean,” Jonny is saying as Patrick examines what turns out to be a flyer, thick black lettering taking up every square inch of space on the brilliant sunshine-colored surface. “It’s tomorrow night, at the showcase. Feel free to say yes or no or whatever. If you don’t know, it’s cool.”
“I’ll,” Patrick starts, and then stops, blinking up at him. Jonny’s just watching him, kind of, elbow resting on the steering wheel. “Maybe,” he finally says, and Jonny smiles.
yet we will make him run - some more angst, except more erudite
Kaner the English Lit major AU.
Sigma Chi series by hatrickane - frat bros hook up and then angst about it
Jonny and Patrick run into each other at a frat party. Patrick proposes a way to pass the time.
Can't Wait by LouLa - first time pwp
Pat's on a hair trigger.
when you flex like that - hookup in a frat party
Johnny isn’t drunk, but he does let Sharpy and a couple of frat-looking guys he doesn’t even know talk him into a contest of shots. It’s Sharpy’s fault — he appeals to the competitive side he knows Johnny can’t let go of at the best of times, and one of the guys, blonde curls, a lazy smirk of a grin, picks up on it pretty fast too.
Hope you don't mind by haroldslouis
“Oh, sorry, man,” the guy says, giving him a quick grin. “Thought you were someone else.” He taps the visor of Patrick’s snapback and just like that, he turns around and disappears into the crowd.Patrick doesn’t know how long he stands there, just looking at the general direction he disappeared in.
or, 5 times Jonny mistook Patrick for someone else + 1 time he definitely didn't
Room 4 Rent
Patrick stares at the ad for a while, clicking back and forth between the Craigslist page and his  fantasy hockey league, chewing on his bottom lip.
3 bedroom apartment near Loyola. One room available, others occupied by two male students.  Shared living room and kitchen. Two bathrooms. Rent split three ways. Email [email protected]  or call 773-639-7812 for more info. No texts please.
are you buying what i'm selling? - frat party buddies
The Sigma Chi Halloween Bash is in a week, Jonny’s holding two tickets, and he has nobody to go with.
He had a somebody to go with, until that somebody decided Jonny’s student athlete life wasn’t worth  hanging around for. Their relationship was already tanking anyway; Jonny’s more upset about  potentially wasting a $40 ticket than that shit ending. Whatever.
Just A Spark by heartstrings  ⭐ - magical realism!
In a desperate attempt to hide his feelings from the object of his affections, Patrick accidentally drinks a love potion that causes the people around him to fall for him. Too bad it seems to work on everyone but Jonny.
do you know who you are? by liveinfury - frat bros
“Sure, Cap. I’ll try to keep it quiet.” Patrick winks at Jonny. “But be honest, you like the noises I make, huh?”
“What? Of course not!" Jonny sputters. "I’m not gay!”
(or where Jonny can't figure out why he feels so uneasy when Patrick brings guys home to their frat house).
The Great Desk Assembly Project - they were roommates
“I’m going to nail some shit,” he says. “Jonny, come watch me nail some shit.”
“We share a room, I don’t need to watch you nail anything else.”
“That’s not what you were saying last night,” Pat says with a laugh in his voice. He reaches back  behind him and punches Jonny in the shoulder for good measure.
No, It's Not A Secret by SimoneClouseau ⭐ - always a girl Jonny 
Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your boyfriend. No way, no way. I think you need a new one.
Jehanne Toews is dating a loser. Sometimes it takes a ridiculous awesome young star on the Blackhawks to see the light.
good form - always a girl Pat!  ⭐ 
“Best head of your life?”
“Yes, he was better than you, you competitive motherfucker.” Hayds says it like it’s a joke, like it’s funny, like it’s not the single most devastating thing a girl could say to Pat.
“A hockey bro gave you the best head of your goddamn life? Am I in the fucking Upside Down?”
“Believe it, baby. Jonathan Toews: hockey bro and magical pussy-eating wizard.”
forever i'll try for you and i by staraflur - always girls Jon and Pat!
It’s extra great—whenever Jo’s losing, she always makes like their running point tally competition isn’t real. Tonight’s true to form: when Trish holds up three fingers and points at herself, then two before pointing at Jo, Jo actually scoffs as she pokes at a couple chicken breasts with the tongs, trying to find the best one.
remedial at love - jonny ‘i'm great at math but the math tutor's really hot so i'm gonna pretend i'm not' toews
There have been a lot of things Kaner’s done that could be considered suspect. He chose the  Backstreet Boys over Nsync for the Kane Dance-Off Championship when he was 15. He opted to go  to Disneyland instead of Disney World for his high school graduation present. He frosted his tips after  coming out in 12th grade because he thought that was like, the obvious thing to do until he realized  this was not, in actuality, the 90s.
But this one. Calling up ‘Jtoews’ and requesting tutelage in math when he was a fucking wiz at math  was -- the most highly suspect of all.
Drink yourself under, fuck yourself over by Mythisea
Jonathan Toews is the sophomore captain of the college hockey team. Patrick Kane recently quit hockey before coming to college.
Jonny thinks Patrick would be perfect on his wing. Patrick would rather be drinking. Jonny does not approve.
Make The Moves Up As I Go by agirlnamedfia - tutor!Jonny with a dash of angst and pining
Patrick has his first Econ 202 class on the second day of the spring semester. It doesn’t exactly go well.
how to make boys-next-door out of assholes series by bessyboo, thisissirius - textfic
Yo man, Sharpy's having a party tonight. You up for it or you gonna be a boring shit and study???
it's only you and me by crystaljules - graduation blues
"We're so fucking stupid."
Overdosed on Confidence by runphoebe ⭐ - fwb, internalized homophobia
“Someone could -,” Jonny starts, breaking off when Patrick ducks down to draw Jonny’s lips against his, kissing him fever-hot and wet and desperate. Jonny’d be embarrassed by how hungrily he responds, but he knows Pat’s into it, moaning unashamedly into Jonny’s mouth when he tightens a hand around Pat’s neck. “Someone could see,” he finally gets out, voice rough, when Patrick pulls back, as if Patrick’s supposed to believe that that’s any sort of protest.
Patrick licks his lips, the hint of a smirk playing at the corners of them in that familiar way like when Patrick's got a particularly bad idea on his mind. “Guess you better be quick then, huh?” he says cryptically, waggling his eyebrows at Jonny. Jonny’s a second away from rolling his eyes and asking what he means when Patrick slithers off Jonny’s lap and onto his knees on the floor beneath Jonny’s table and - oh. Oh.
Silence Gives You Space by liveinfury - pining, misunderstandings
“Have you been avoiding me?”
“’Course not,” Patrick says. “I’m just letting you do your own thing.”
“My own thing?”
“Yeah, didn’t want to crowd your space,” Patrick blurts out. Fuck, he didn’t mean to actually say that.“You’re not…”
“Cool.”
tuck you in - getting together
“You sexiled again?" He smirks and stuffs down the fondness that rolls  through him at theway Jonny’s hair is rumpled and a little bit wavy.
Jonny sits up slowly, groaning. “Yeah. Fuck, this is the third time in a week  and a half.”
obvious from the start - radio DJs Pat and Jon!
It’s not like Patrick even likes radio, because he hasn’t really listened to  anything that’s not on his iPod or his Pandora stations in years, but when he notices the red and  white flyer advertising the student radio station on the ground, he picks it up with the  excuse that he’s trying to be environmentally friendly.When he played hockey they told Patrick that he was too small, too short to  be a hockeyplayer; that he’d never make it because of his size. Hockey is, was, his heart  and soul, and he’d put years and years of his life into the one thing he knew he was good  at; threw his very being into the best he could be to prove that he can do it, be the best,  even if he was small.
Patrick supposes maybe he'll find something else that he’s just as good at.
stupid college boys series by 19trash88 - Jonny is the cute guy from Econ class
Patrick’s not one to wax poetic about a penis, but if ever there was a reason to, Jonathan Toews’ cock would be at the top of the list.
Green Light by heartstrings - friends to lovers
Patrick knows two things: he likes sex and he likes Jonny. If Jonny's newly single there's no reason not to combine the two. Right?
Everybody Wants to Touch Some(body Paragraphs) by Kerfluffle  ⭐
Wherein Jonny writes the worst essay ever, and weirdness abounds.
Motivation by somethingnerdythiswaycomes  ⭐ - pwp
Only Jonny could keep working on his LIT-110 paper while Patrick was getting himself off next to him. Fuck, but Patrick loved him so much.
Muse series by by somethingnerdythiswaycomes
So Jonny had applied for every damn job he was qualified for, even the "life model" one TJ goaded him into.So Jonny had received an email the next day asking for his availability to come in for a session.So, as it turned out, it wasn’t some random chick that was going to draw him. It was some random dude.
So "life model" apparently meant "nude model."
You Love Me, I Love You Harder So by leyley09 - overly competitive boys on the hockey team
Patrick circles around him at center ice. “Jonathan, my team is going to kick your team’s ass so hard your parents will be embarrassed without even knowing why.”“I’m gonna give you a lesson in goal scoring you’ll never forget.”“Toews, you couldn’t give me a lesson in long distance spitting. Anything you can do, I can do better.”“Oh yeah?”“I can do anything better than you.”
Jonathan Toews is used to be being the best. He has zero clue what to do with competition.
Especially when the competition is cute.
middle ground by boodreaus - college road trip, friends to lovers
Jonny, Patrick, and an excellent adventure.
Who Knew by themistrollsin
Jonathan and Patrick meet after they're forced to go to a party by their best friends (Adam and Brent respectively).
Night Moves by heartstrings - meetcute
After a series of unfortunate drunk events that lead him from falling into a snowbank to being laughed at by the police, Jonny meets Patrick in an elevator.
Ignite My Fire, Object Of My Desire by ThalassicThedes ⭐- theater boys!!!
A good ol' fashioned College Au in which the college itself is hardly even mentioned. Just... make of this what you will.
absolute beginners by heartstrings, thundersquall
That time Jonny walked into a diner and accidentally got himself a temporary fake boyfriend.
Like A Classic - royalty!Jonny
So: due to a series of complicated and improbable events involving some sort of life debt and signed promise from two generations ago, it was decreed that Patrick had to marry the Crown Prince of Canada.
Captain Oblivious by wantstothrill - royalty!Pat
Why would Jonny care about the American royal family visiting his university? He's Canadian. He hasn't paid any attention to Prince Patrick since he was a teenager. He's more concerned with the very hot guy he's just run into, who's name also happens to be Patrick. What a coincidence.
+
check out the high school AUs tag aaand the college AUs tag @ 1988rebloggedfic!
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cainfm · 5 years
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『BILL SKARSGARD ❙ NONBINARY』 ⟿ looks like CAIN ROMANOV is here for THEIR SENIOR year as a LITERATURE student. THEY are 25 years old & known to be RIGHTEOUS, TRUE, EVASIVE & GUARDED. They’re living in MORIS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ JAMES. 21. EST. SHE/THEY.
hdsjnf hello all ... it is james again ... here with another ... replacing noelle with cain bt it’s fine im fine. i’ve hit muse limit u wn’t hear frm me again ... so hit tht like button .. this isnt the best intro ive done bt mostly bc im just kinda like ... taking an old one n rewriting it as i go
TW CULTS, HEROIN USE / ADDICTION, DRUG ADDICTION / USE, ABUSE, PSYCHOLOGICAL / EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION, PTSD, ANXIETY, TRAUMA.
aesthetics.
dangling limbs from tree branches, yellowed book pages, opened bottles of vintage wine, oversized sweaters and deep under eyes, bleached denim, worn leather gloves, cat hair against black cloth, fields of wheat, broken windows, descending staircases, tight-lipped smiles during public appearances, golden skies, light spilling from windows, stumbling over one’s own words, wire-framed beds, linens, wool scarves, making the wrong decisions; running, from others and yourself.
basic info.
full name: cain alexei romanov
nickname(s): n/a
b.o.d. - feb 19th, pisces :) happy birthday!
label(s): the connard (previously), the escapist, the facade, the fallen, the lothario (previously), the pariah, the phoenix, the puppeteer (previously), the sybarite, etc.
height: 6′4″ ... bruv.
hometown: stratford, connecticut
sexuality: bisexual uwu?
pinterest
stats
inspired by: i feel like i did ... have an inspiration for him but i don’t ... remember ... so ur not getting this one ... i might edit this later if smth pops into my head but. alas.
biography.
born to connecticut senator vaughn romanov and well known philanthropist adelaide romanov, they were born into a life of privilege in a very prominent new england family. they’re the eldest of five in a very nuclear, picture perfect, preppy chic family.
was brought up to be a class a, outstanding, perfect citizen. golden child to the all american family (willfully ignoring the fact that his father came from russian immigrants). cain listened, obeyed, never strayed outside the lines.
it was always intended for cain to take on after their father, to follow in his footsteps and become a politician too. there were several expectations for them, including joining model un, debate, deca, splitting time between soccer, track, basketball, lacrosse, becoming class president, and all while maintaining a valedictorian - worthy gpa.
even volunteered on the weekends at homeless shelters and food banks, proving to everybody in their community just how much of a gem they were, darling, perfect member of society.
always eager as a child, eager for approval, eager to impress and wow and dazzle authorities and adults alike - cain never really had a problem with any of it? always attended church on sundays and sometimes even wednesdays. participated in family dinners and christmas photoshoots and new years eve parties, easter egg hunts and family reunions.
born and raised in stratford, super close to lovell to the point where it’d always been expected that the romanov children would simply just go to radcliffe, as did their parents. their home in stratford is a big, fancy, seven bedroom eight bath house with two fireplaces and an expansive dining room. no pool, but a sturdy treehouse made by scratch.
however. their model citizen persona was just that, a persona - a charade. in the community and to his family, cain was a hardworking citizen who upheld standards, a leader. to classmates and peers, from elementary to college - cain was the devil themself.
arrogant, harrowing, an outright bully who tore down others when they felt like it, often unprovoked. they were the senator’s son, and a rich one at that - rules never applying because they simply never existed for them, the upmost privilege because of who their family happened to be and their place in society. tattlers of their behavior faced far more consequence than cain ever did, or would.
the sort of person who’d genuinely look down at someone if they had less than them - a narcissistic dickhead who cared about two or three people, tops, outside of their family. was never physically violent, nor did they raise their voice, but that’s what made them all the worse. made them all the scarier. spewed classist bullshit with ease and was addicted to the power high it gave them.
their only redeeming quality was their protectiveness over their family - never the best person, but family is family, and they thought it ought’d to be protected.
went into political science and business to please their father, mainly, every step they made - every path cain went down, every choice from the electives they took in high school to the brand of shoes they wore, was to build them into the ideal presidential candidate.
probably joined a frat though cain never participated in parties too often, known for keeping their composure even when others resorted to violence, or got too drunk, or caused any public commotion, because they didn’t like to leave a bad image for the press. did their drugs in private but left nothing to the imagination, publicly.
but alas. during college, two very important series of events occurred.
seeking thrills, searching for fun in all the wrong places - cain became a middle-man between dealers and producers. never dealt it, and never produced it, but simply transported it between one another; the less everybody knew about each other the better. it was always a very hushed operation. one that they could’ve profited much off of, though money was never the motive for them.
and then he met earl and may meyers, fellow volunteers at a thanksgiving food drive; an older couple immediately drawn to cain, reasonable considering just who their father was, and cain to them. they can’t tell you what about the couple was so appealing - the air around them was something else entirely; some called it unhinged, others would call it comforting. but they were kind folks, down to earth - very religious, and very warmhearted. liked his name, a lot - like in the bible, they’d say, and laugh, and pat his arm. they would say, on occasion, that they reminded them of their late son.
it’d happened towards the end of their junior year, a few years after they’d gotten involved in the drug business - and the meyers were volunteering more and more, always at the same places as cain. the same times, too, as if they were learning his schedule. in retrospect - it was odd, but cain’d never suspected a thing. they kept talking, and it became a genuine friendship - a secured vote in the next election.
it only took a few months into this that they’d begun to talk about religion more. the sin of wealth, and god choosing only a select few when he cleanses the earth. only the worthiest souls. they’d eventually get into the rhythm of telling cain they were special - that they could see they’d be selected, see it in their aura, in their dreams, god sending them messages, etc. most would find it to be absolutely ... bonkers.
but it was oddly appealing to cain - like, maybe i am being constrained by capitalism. maybe i am disappointing god - aren’t i a devoted follower? it felt nearly ridiculous, but it seeped into their mind. psychological manipulation, lasting over months and cain unsuspecting. as if they could ever be the one manipulated. but the meyers could ask cain to jump, and they’d simply say - how high?
soon enough, earl and may told them that they were moving. that there’d been so many more like them and that it was time to join them, time to prepare - to get ready for the rapture. cain held off at first, finishing up their first term of their senior year and their life planned right before their eyes. everything they’d ever worked for. their loyal companions and close-knit family, their side-business that’d only gotten stronger - a long-term girlfriend and the engagement ring that burnt in their pocket, made their heart beat twice as fast at the very thought. still the same as before, cruel without a cause, but still surrounded by those who loved them - who could find something in them to love.
but a month into their senior year, cain had a sudden change of heart. they were ready, now, if not now then never later. all because of a third event. a surprise. a shock. a betrayal.
they had discovered that they were not their father’s child - not at all, not even by an inch. they were someone else’s, completely. their mother had broken down and cracked, after a particularly straining christmas party. the discussion was long, and the heartbreak only grew. the anger only grew. the hurt - it grew. more and more, with each pitiful sob their mother gave them. it was a mistake - a one night stand in a fit of petty anger in the very early stages of their marriage. and only cain knew - like they had to carry this weight, now, that they never asked to have.
it was the kind of information that broke a person. cain idolized their parents, done everything they’d ever asked - ever expected, and beyond, let them mold them like putty into whatever form they wanted. only to find out that in the end, it didn’t matter. it never mattered, if cain wasn’t the blood child of vaughn. if their mother - a woman who hadn’t a bad bone in her body, was nothing but a cheat and a liar.
cain unraveled.
they spent the first week getting into an altercation with near anybody who looked at them wrong. physical, usually - though arguments arose frequently as well. with no explanation, only thrown fists - often drunk, or high, or sober too - it never mattered. they spent a night in county jail, it’d gotten so bad. it seemed to have no end.
right until new years, just after midnight, when cain had disappeared without a word. it was treated like a missing persons case, though there was no evidence of foul play or kidnapping, and not much could be done about it.
BEGINNING OF CULT / DRUG / MOST OF THE TRIGGER WARNINGS
the only people who knew of cain’s whereabouts were the meyers - because they had left together. a last minute decision that, if they had only waited a simple minute longer, would’ve never happened. a mistake they desperately wished they could take back. a mistake that led to another event - maybe the most important one of them all.
they’d gone only hours away from stratford, and lovell, the border between new york and connecticut and not as far as cain had initially thought, but deep, deep into the woods. that was where the cult’d been. they wore white linens and cotton, but never mixed. technology banned, prayers and daily chores. it was natural, at first. for the first three months, that was.
it could’ve been grand. it was peaceful, and mind-clearing, and they treated cain as if their birth was a sign from the angels. cain come to undo his past. a potential leader. but the longer they stayed, the more apparent it became that they weren’t all that the cult had wanted, so desperately, to believe. once they began to slip up, once members became displeased - that’s when the punishments began to occur.
sometimes once a week, but sometimes - and, later, much more so, multiple. the memories are suppressed, for the most part - but there are some things they simply can’t - the hands, they can’t forget. pulling, and tugging, and gripping - begging, asking him to repent, please, repent. their head held underwater, counting seconds until their vision’d eventually darken and go out, only to be pulled out gasping and sobbing. these memories stay - these memories repeat themselves, like a record stuck on repeat, days blurring into one another.
when they tried to fight back - they were subdued. heroin was the first step. little by little, everyday - enough to leave them in a high they wouldn’t remember; enough to burn a hole in their memory. and with these dimming memories, cain’d begin to sneak paper and pencil into their living arrangement, their room, writing everyday. wrote as much as they could remember from home - about their family, their life before it all - the people they loved. they couldn’t remember what they’d written, some days.
and when those notes were found, bound by thread taken from their own clothing to form a shabby book - that’d been the final straw. dragged, kicking and screaming - mind-numbingly high, into place. the twisted reenactment, retelling of cain’s demise. how exactly he’d gotten his scar. it would’ve been near perfect, if they had only stayed still and let them brand the mark into his forehead. but instead - they settled, eventually, for the chest. then - the left cain to die in the middle of the woods. in the middle of nowhere. no trails or campsites to follow, nothing at all. nothing but trees. nothing but his notes and the clothes on their back. they hadn’t even known what day it was - almost forgotten the year, too.
cain should’ve died there, but cain got up. and they ran. and ran. and ran. until they hit something, eventually. a road. it’d been pure luck that they’d found a car near immediately afterwards, whose driver wasn’t doubling as a murderer, who took them to the hospital - and who gave cain that chance to live. they were found on new years, a full cycle - a full year in the cult that’d changed their life.
END OF CULT / DRUG / MOST OF THE TRIGGER WARNINGS. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. STILL MENTIONS OF TRAUMA / MENTAL HEALTH / RECOVERY / ADDICTION BEYOND THIS POINT.
after being reunited with their family in the hospital - everything went by very fast. they couldn’t recognize their youngest sibling, but they also couldn’t remember why they’d left in the first place. couldn’t remember the name of their girlfriend, but the color of her hair and the way she smelled. they couldn’t give answers to their actions.
and after being put into therapy and recovery for their addiction - that’s when they find out that their father’s a presidential candidate, that they had been - that they used cain’s disappearance as a story for the press, one to garner votes. their return is national news, and their public opinion skyrockets. it’s supposed to be glorious, and a miracle, a blessing - but cain feels restrained. confined to the role they’d always been expected to play - expected to get up and continue with their life, as if nothing had happened. 
but nothing didn’t happen - everything happened, and cain’s different now, vastly so - no longer who they thought they were. they change their major to literature, abandon politics. they get some cats, start working at the library, and they put on some leather gloves - their method of staying away, of keeping a comfortable distance. they are different, now, and simply only wish to focus on their recovery.
personality.
they’re no longer who they once were. a year of trauma does things to a person - and with memory loss that weighs heavy on their mind, they are near completely different. they remember parts of their old personality, their old lifestyle - enough to know they want to be better. they’re convinced that it’s karma, what happened to them. for being who they were - acting the way they did. just ... a bunch of self-blame.
even with the massive ego, cain’s always been a quiet person. but now - now cain’s even quieter. kinder, if not a little sarcastic, like a relic from the past. they’re distant - but it’s one of fear, restrictive and tense - not one made out of their own comfort. 
smokes medical marijuana but rarely drinks ... as if that’d make a difference. in an effort to beat their heroin addiction, they’ve turned to prescriptions instead.
like i mentioned ... cain has four cats. it’s basically their entire personality. two of them were from before their disappearance, but two are new to their little (school-approved) family. there is: frank (big chungus when yelled. white and gray), brock (orange. fluffy. stoic. devours food), shoelace (black furred, missing an eye and half an ear), and crunchwrap supreme (crunch for short. calico with bent ears). yes, they have photos of their cats in their wallet.
cain’s memory is fucked - like, really fucked. they forget a lot of things. short term, long term. it’s a constant struggle. they managed to keep their notes from the cult, so those help - but not always. they forget dates and names and faces and events. sometimes they wake up and don’t know where they are. they don’t sleep often, anyways. with the trauma came night terrors, and in an attempt to avoid them they don’t ... sleep often. only a few hours a night if they can withstand it, because it’s frankly terrible.
they suffer from severe touch aversion. skin contact with anybody, of any sort, is enough to send cain into a full-blown panic attack. they were leather gloves more often than not in an attempt to combat this disadvantage, without hindering their dexterity too much. even with clothes, they’re not the biggest fan of physical contact. it won’t send him into a panic attack, but they visibly flinch away. they’re very clear from the get-go, if someone is too close to them, that they don’t like physical contact.
dealing with ptsd and attends therapy every week. their therapist recommended that they keep writing their notes, after reviewing them himself, so cain does. they keep an entire journal where they write, and sketch a little, because it helps them cope and de-stress. it means a lot to them, actually.
also dealing with ptsd and attends therapy every week - therapist recommended he kept writing after looking at his notes - so he does, keeps an entire journal where they write and like … sketch a little, because it helps them cope. means more to them than it would seem. but, unfortunately, part of their coping involves getting far too involved in their own mini-investigation of the cult they’d been part of. when the cult was tracked back to where cain’d been brought, they were already gone - and cain wants to know where. wants to know how to find them. wants justice, vengeance. wants nobody else to get hurt from them.
pretty blunt ... won’t go out of their way to announce that hey, they were part of a cult, and that’s why they’re gone and that’s why that’s the way they are now - but they also won’t lie about it, if the topic comes up in conversation. they don’t like delusions, don’t like secrets, nor do they like unnecessary attention.
being at radcliffe makes cain anxious because - well, they’re surrounded by people they’ve been doing wrong by for years now and they can’t even remember which ones. who, what, when, why - distant memories, if they’re even there at all. is constantly trying to figure out how to redeem themselves. they’d leave, if it hadn’t been their parents’ assistance that they stay there. so that someone always has an eye on them. 
but like ...they screwed over a lot of people when they left. from plugs / customers to their ex-girlfriend, who they are, undeniably, still in love with (you can’t forget that feeling) - to their friends. like. everybody, pretty much KBJNSDFKSNLD
is often pretty high ... i’d say it’s just the medical weed but. alas :/ take a guess :/
hates cars & swimming & crowds. hates feeling trapped and will avoid it whenever possible. doesn’t want to be seen as unsociable, but it’s difficult. 
they ... have a tendency to run away when they’re overwhelmed. likes to climb trees because they’re tall enough to. there’s a tree outside of their window that they climb out to frequently, even though it’s like a ~safety hazard~ or whatever. just really likes to hide out. 
used to be in perkins when they last attended radcliffe, but they gave their spot to someone else and that was like - 100% fine w/ cain tbh. lives alone in moris now.
feels the need to redeem themself ... to like, everybody. like, they want to avoid conflict and be a better person, but it’s hard, and they don’t necessarily like confrontation either - and not everybody believes that cain’s changed. it wouldn’t be surprising if people were suspicious of cain, for whatever reason, because they don’t ... really have the best track record anymore.
developed a stutter as one of the results from their trauma. their voice is damaged from screaming and they’re self-conscious about it, but they’re working on it because there’s more important things to worry about. in general, cain looks ... gaunt, too thin, and generally sickly.
repeating senior year ... fr obvious reasons ... and probably won’t graduate anytime soon because they’ve changed their major so late.
can still hold a conversation & they’re not really afraid of socialization. it just takes a toll on them. they’re pretty lowkey, as a person. soft, sorta. quiet but they won’t be an asshole (on purpose). they like people! just. very low energy.
so like ... tldr ... not an asshole anymore ... dealing with a lot of trauma ... trying to be a good person ... yes ...
wanted connections.
locals... people they’ve grown up with their entire life. people they’ve wronged, people who idolized him, envied him, despised him, etc. 
enemies... would love for a bunch of these just. a hoard of people who fucking hate cain. because it fits the bill. they could’ve bullied them, or wronged them, whatever. anything works. let’s make it happen.
exes... that they’ve dumped... old hookups, ex-friends, people they got into an argument with or fought before they disappeared last year...
ex girlfriend... that connection wld b rly neat!! i have it up as a wc rn but we can take that down ... will be holding intense american idol - esque auditions. remember that cain ws a fckn classist pig and probably only dated people who were also rich with influential families. (unless u present a very good case to me ... then maybe ... perhaps ...)
family friends... family rivals... people he knows mostly thru their family.
redeemable... people they’re trying to redeem themself to... trying to prove their worth, and that they’re a better person now, etc. etc.
old clients... :) angry clients. that they left in the dust.
perkins... people he knew from perkins ... old pals or maybe enemies idk he was pretty insufferable ... people he used to go to fancy parties with sometimes ...
angery... people so so so so fucking pissed at cain, for whatever reason.
reconciliation... reconnecting... used to be friends and we can be friends again :) and i will be better this time! i’m a slut for slowburns, especially slowburn friendships ... enemies to friends ... now THAT is sexy.
victims... of bullying ... :/ of their bullying specifically.
sof...t... wholesome content ... nothing but soft, understanding friendships ... or developing friendships ... make them feel welcomed again... forgive them...
an..g.st... friends to enemies. enemies to bigger enemies. miscommunication. betrayal. whatever u want.
no hookups!!! ... please only previous encounters. nothing in the present. because it just wldn’t make sense.
unless... eyes emoji. H DSJLFJKS just kidding! i’d accept MAYBE some kind of sexual tension but like ... the sort that hurts, because it just Cannot Happen (i will not let it happen). or maybe a fun, casual sexting thing but like. nothing physical. pleasthe.
fuck politics!... mayhaps, they hate mr. romanov and his politics or smth. he’s probably corrupt in some way, so! go at it!
aggression... i feel like a lot of the conversations between cain n other ppl start out rly ... angry bc theyre Mad. at them.
ok it’s bed time please plot with me. 
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greensconnor · 5 years
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i’m asking about your dragon age characters
molly i would KILL for u im ur personal hitman now
anyway i said my city now because the entire bioware writing team sucks shit xoxo and i’m so much smarter than all of them but also fully incapable of having a normal amount of ocs for anything (see: the time i made 20 rwby ocs in less than two weeks) so i have. five worldstates here r some assorted thoughts
uhhh so the worldstates r as follows
eira mahariel (two-handed berserk/champ spec), rhett hawke (two-handed berserk spec), alas lavellan (mage knight enchanter spec), romanced alistair/fenris/dorian respectively
shiv tabris (dual wield duelist/assassin spec), radella “rads” hawke (mage spirit healer spec), kat adaar (two-handed reaver spec), romanced morrigan/isabela/cassandra respectively because im a pc gamer and i think i should be able to date whatever video game woman i like because im infinitely better than cishet men
this world state said yeah i respect mens rights. mens rights to shut the fuck up
twins bronson (sword/shield reaver spec) & bryant cousland (archer ranger spec), carmine hawke (archer assassin spec), syracuse trevelyan (dual wield tempest spec), romanced zevran/anora/josephine/bull. if ur wondering how that works my city now and the warden, hawke and the inquisitor should all meet and so they do because i Said So
riva amell (mage arcane warrior/battlemage spec), graham “gray” hawke (mage force spec), hellathen “hela” lavellan (archer assassin spec); romanced cullen/anders and later blackwall because hawke only likes men who will break his heart. hela doesn’t have a romance because she’s literally 20. who let her lead the inquisition (me it was me). also it should be noted the version of cullen i have in my head only vaguely resembles actual cullen because i write better than dragon age writers ever could and i gave him an Actual Cohesive Narrative and he gets bullied relentlessly for being scrawnier than his mage boyfriend
malien “mal” surana (mage spirit healer/keeper spec), jules hawke (sword/shield reaver spec), ash adaar (mage rift spec), romanced leliana/merrill/krem because i should have been able to kiss krem and its a Crime that i am not allowed to
knight enchanter is a Very op specialization and by Very op i mean it makes a mage with their built-in low constitution stats able to solo the biggest baddest dragon in the game on nightmare mode in under five minutes so like. alas lavellan fist fights dragons for fun send tweet
i think lavellans should be able to hit ppl with bricks for all the shit they endure. thus solas gets pranked by mahariel and alas by which i mean they just tip buckets of water onto him from the rookery
kat might be my only competent inquisitor but she did also try to knock out the right hand of the divine and attempt to gap even tho there’s fucky magic burning up her hand so does she have a brain cell? you decide
also its fantasy land and i do what i want so kat has blue/gold sectoral heterochromia
gray “mage rights” hawke is best friends with fenris which surprises literally everyone. their friendship started because they got into a fist fight and then they were like okay i respect u now. hawke is like hey fenris give me ur sword i have a fun trick to show u [uses his sword as a foci to zap carver in the ass with lightning]
i am Always thinking abt like how cullen could have been one man anti-chantry propaganda machine if he hadn’t so blatantly been shoehorned into every game past origins so anyway bioware forgot about a wholeass moon i can write what i like. [holds up cullen by the scruff of his stupid armor] not only are you bisexual you are also a bottom
i also Hate the whole uwu mage haters get fixed by romancing a mage
unlocked secret dialogue option where my inquisitors verbally cuss out dorian’s dad instead of whatever sympathetic narrative the writers were going for cuz its bullshit.
riva is a showoff and a Menace about being as good as he is because he unabashedly loves being a mage and hes like oooh look at me im sexy i dont need to use my hands to cast magic because i’m just that good ;)) and you know what. hes right.
gray, on the other hand, does Not want to be mage. he wants to be a druffalo farmer and retire in the hinterlands and be left the fuck alone. unfortunately he is gay and has one brain cell and terrible, terrible taste in men. ribbed relentlessly for this by riva (altho does he have room to talk hes been hung up on cullen since he was like 13)
shiv is trans n kieran is the result of doing the dark ritual with her wife and he looks a Lot like shiv (dark skin pointed ears, shock-white hair) and morrigan always just Assumed she dyed it or did something magic with it so seeing their kid come out like that was a WEIRD time for her
leliana almost Murdered by cassandra in worldstate 5 because the warden is Actually There The Whole Time, but its been 10 years, mal’s cut off all her hair and gotten full facial tattoos and she’s like “no one will know its me its fine” and she’s right. she gets away with it. only cullen like, Knows, because he knew her before the blight but he doesnt have a death wish n he like. will Not piss her off
shes dalish by birth n she was stolen from her clan by templars and thus is vehemently anti-circle and anti-chantry in general
uhhh the vallaslin (elf face tattoos) of my 4 dalish characters are:
eira = ghilan’nain (chose em cuz shes rlly interested in the navigation aspect of the goddess)
alas = falon’din (god of the dead n he picked them because he’s Also the god of fortune and alas is like tee hee fun but also he can and will kill u if u fuck with him so yk its fitting)
hela = june (god of the craft bc she likes to Make things but june is also the god who taught the elves 2 hunt and hela is. a hunter.)
mal = elgar’nan (allfather/god of vengeance bc. she is Vengeful. she is Angry. but yk fucking with shem politics and fucking their divine is like. mal may have little a retribution. as a treat.) yes she has the full half-face solid colour tattoo she does NOT fuck around.
bronson and bryant r not genetically identical but they Look similar enough 2 anyone who doesn’t know them well enough 2 play spot the distance. anora and bronson think this is a super fun game to play, especially when nobles realize they’ve swapped out the king but they’re too nervous to say anything
eira mahariel has two hands. one is for holding hands with alistair and the other is for throttling elven gods, apparently. she’s killed one before so solas she’s coming for your bitch ass next. watch urself.
speaking of eira and alistair are married thru dalish tradition and humans don’t recognize it n alistair loves 2 re-propose to her with random things. he’ll just pick up like. a bit of cheese and be like “marry me ;)” and she’s like GASP but whatever will the chantry say!!!! all of their friends r sick of them
“vhenan if you love me bring me a sword” “you think i could do better than a sword made out of space rock?” “:)”
eira is my youngest hero at 18 at the start of her game and kat is my oldest at 32 at the start of her game.
none of my hawkes are under six foot. rhett is the tallest (6′8″) and rads is the shortest (6′2″).
syracuse trevelyan would have been the Perfect inquisitor if he were not a pretty boy himbo and a gay bastard who does Most Things just to spite his parents.
[corypheus pointing at syracuse’s visage in his crystal orb thingo] i want that twink obliterated
i love the companions from older games return thing i truly do so i make it a point for Every companion to return in inquisition so the gang rlly is all here because i am a Slutte for found family
i lie in my keep worldstates because i dont want to choose between hawke and alistair during here lies the abyss but i never make him king and every time i play inquisition and cole has the wicked grace line it makes me Scream. alistair baby im so sorry i did this to you but i didnt actually do this to you
yes this is my everyone lives au but like. all the time. i have never left hawke in the fade and i do not intend to.
fuck whatever nonsense about wardens not being able 2 have kids. by sheer divine power (me) anora and bryant have three daughters; eleanor, sabina & cecelia n both bronson and zevran make Excellent uncles because i think anora deserves good things because i’m tired of bioware being like women bad, actually,
so like most of the time i have the warden & hawke turning up after the move to skyhold n then staying on, with the exception of bryant, carmine & mal. mal is as mentioned previously just There the whole time with her girlfriend. bryant steps in as king of ferelden w/ interests in closing the big hole in the sky spewing demons in2 his kingdom yk. carmine shows up because she wants to help & she wants protection for bethany but she outright says she’d rather die than be inquisitor so cassandra is shit out of luck.
“CHANGE HER MIND VARRIC” “she once doubled down on insisting amaranth was a shade of blue because she didn’t want to admit to being wrong. no one’s changing her mind seeker”
alas is the middle child of eight and is thus very good with children and also bossing around people older than him. 2 of his older siblings come to the inquisition when stuff in wycome has been settled
i left ash with the basic canon background with Some variation (he grew up under the qun and left of his own free will when his magic was discovered n he realized he couldn’t take living as a saarebas
kat on the other hand was raised tal-vashoth and has bounced around basically all over thedas and leads her own merc company when the conclave blows up. she also speaks multiple languages. is there a language she doesn’t speak? probably not
just realized how long this got so im gonna like. stop my general rambling now but lmao yeah theres some basics. waves hands.
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Fem! Soukoku A/B/O
I am just sadpacito because of EU copyright law so allow me to shower you in some beautiful soft soft omegaverse hc that I had been talking about with @no-longer-tainted​ for days now uwu 
Please also read this beautiful fic by her as well for a better overview of what tf I am talking about! Its a piece of god damn art that even Van Gogh cries over! 
Also we decided to change some of the things within fem! A/B/O, for example instead of female alphas growing a dick, they have saliva that contains the fertilizer...thingy...yeah so oral sex and tongue does the deal here uwu
Like any other female alphas, Chuuya has a cup of b while Dazai is a cup d, thanks to omegas having curvy natural figures.
Female Alpha’s can increase their body heat to make their omega’s feel safe and sound. 
Some Omega’s can have extremely irregular heats as well. 
So female alphas and Omegas have their first heat later than the males, around 18 or 19. While Chuuya’s heat at 18 was pretty ok and Dazai helping her through, Dazai’s heat came later than any other omega girls. It was at her 22.  
Chuuya had her first heat after a week of her birthday. Dazai was just lucky enough to be in her apartment to get her through. (NSFW will be soon under the cut) 
Dazai didn’t mind being Chuuya’s mate once they had their feelings and emotions sorted out and had contently start dating. 
 So on Dazai’s 18th birthday, Chuuya was ready, so was Dazai. Blankets, boxs of chocolate and protein bars, canned crabs, energy drinks and chocolate milk, ready to go. But no, the heat didn’t come. Not even the following week, or the week after. 
They weren’t surprised when the heat didn’t come after 9 months. However, they were ready again when she had turned 19 but no, not this year. Similarly, not even next year when she was 20 or the next next year when Dazai was 21 or 22. 
At one point Dazai thought, perhaps it was because of her unhealthy eating habits, while Chuuya started to blame her own heats affecting Dazai’s (which is not possible but she was just worried for her girl uwu). 
Things started to calm down, untill during the winter, they decide to go to a ski resort to spend their holiday. 
It was cool and all till Dazai began to act weirdly once they had came in the hotel room after the second day of skiing. When Chuuya pressed her hands on Dazai’s forehead, her temperature was rising yet the thermometer said otherwise. 
Soon Dazai started to blabber shits and lose her mind. Panicking, Chuuya decided to ring Kouyou.
When the older woman had picked her phone up, Dazai was already moaning for Chuuya and their entire hotel room was filled with Dazai’s soft rose like scent. 
Chuuya can’t even breath in the room, its just so stiffy with Dazai’s scent. The shorter girl just whispers, “Ane- san..” To which Kouyou replies without a hesitant, “Dazai is on heat?” 
Chuuya’s stomach is feeling Dazai’s heat too but she has no idea what to do. Kouyou asks how Dazai is doing. 
“Heat? more like dying if anything fucking heck.” “Chuuya! Language! and if you say that does that mean its all good?” 
Chuuya groans and Kouyou doesn’t tease her anymore. The older woman then instructs her to carry out everything as usual bedroom time but then also reminds her to take extra care when she does oral and reminds her to be gentler and softer since it’s Dazai first heat. 
NSFW AND MORE SOFTER STUFF UNDER THE CUT UWU 
Chuuya almost throws the phone when she finds Dazai nearly biting her arm’s scent glands off when she started to become even more restless. 
She quickly grabs all of the extra blanket in the hotel cabinet and just throws them randomly everywhere to somewhat make it look like a nest. Also throwing some of hers and Dazai’s stuff in the nest too. 
With shaky fingers, she struggled to unbutton Dazai’s tops but as soon as it was gone, she began to kiss every inch of Dazai and bite her scent glands on her neck to sooth her down. 
Whispering soft words, Chuuya kissed and licked every inch of Dazai. Biting on her scent glands and marking her with her scent so that other alphas can’t lay a single finger on her. 
Dazai seemed to calm down but for Chuuya it felt like Dazai had gone totally crazy over the heat. Not wanting to risk, Chuuya runs her hand down Dazai’s panties and isn’t surprised when she finds it merely wet and slick. Chuuya sighs and kisses Dazai’s forehead, coaxing her with soft murmurs of encouragement that made no sense to Dazai in her dazed mind. 
Chuuya isn’t surprised when two of her fingers went inside in one go. Though it’s a bit too wild since it take a bit time for Dazai to take more than one finger in sometimes. Dazai moans aloud when she slides in a third finger and presses it just right. She clenches up and before Chuuya can even give some pump, Dazai cums. 
At first Chuuya thought if it was just this then it would be ok since sure she can finger her all night along and shouldn’t be a much of a problem. But soon after 6th time of fingering, Dazai began to whine and she knew she would have to give her the oral that Dazai needed. 
So she then threw some of her jeans at Dazai that she can inhale into while she does her job down there. Chuuya kissed the inside of her thighs that earned her a soft hiss as if Dazai was trying to tell her to hurry up. Chuuya smiled softly, Dazai still being adorable even if she was out of her mind now. She ran her tongue up and down her clit and that seemed to do the trick, Dazai was arching her back for more stimulation. 
Once her tongue made Dazai cum, Chuuya had the urge to just spit on her fingers and press it on Dazai’s entrance to see what actually happens, so she does and as if Dazai’s body could tell what was happening, it had both calmed her down and made her more turned on than before. 
After lord knows how many orgasms, Chuuya decided to take a break and use the washroom, only to come back to a silent Dazai staring blankly at the hotel’s ceiling. Chuuya just had opened a bar of protein when she realized Dazai was almost freezing. And that’s when it hit her that Dazai also needed Chuuya’s constant body heat. Chuuya then immediately puts a blanket over them and stats to rub on her inner thighs to get Dazai’s own body heat back on place. When that didn’t work, Chuuya just drapes herself over Dazai to sooth her freezing body.  
Dazai just stares blankly at Chuuya and yes, Chuuya had to went down for the 100th time again. 
That night Chuuya couldn’t even bring herself to sleep no matter how tired she was after THAT many rounds, because she knew the moment her eyes would close, Dazai would either get extremely cold or just lose her mind again (as if she didn’t already thanks to the heat) 
And of course, Chuuya fell asleep on Dazai’s chest but woke up gagging to the smell of millions of roses in their hotel room. She hurriedly gets off the bed and opens another window and comes back to see Dazai with her brows furrowed in her sleep. 
Chuuya shakes Dazai awake. Her eyes glistening and glassy under the dim lighting of the room. Chuuya cups Dazai’s cheek gently while Dazai leans onto the touch more. 
“Shit! Dazai! Wake up, Osamu!” Chuuya tries her best not to scream. When Dazai finches Chuuya panics, “Fuck fuck, is there anything I can do Osamu!” Dazai just smiles tiredly and mumbles, “Just chibi..Just chibi...” 
Chuuya panics again for how long has it even been since Dazai had been like this but starts to kiss her all over again like the previous evening. 
So then Dazai’s heat goes on for 5 more days till the day before they leave the ski resort. That morning, Chuuya was snoring softly after their last round of sex and Dazai finally had finished her heat. Dazai woke up, rather fresh and had began to wake Chuuya up. Calling her slug and hatracks but when nothing worked she knew it was probably best for Chuuya to rest after that many days of making love.
The she gets up and takes a shower, her stomach growling, she gets the room service to bring them some food and such. When Chuuya wakes up Dazai is cleaning up their room and preparing for them to leave early morning the following day. Chuuya doesn’t say much except she just grabs Dazai by her neck and kisses her softly. 
The last few hours in the ski resort, they spent going around and taking a small walk down the town and eating at the local restaurant. 
The next morning they left as planned, taking the train back home. The train ride is 9 hours, but its ok since Dazai had her heat done and if anything bad happened Chuuya can use her martial art skills. Except, at 5 pm when she fell asleep on Dazai’s shoulder, she woke up to the same rose scent. 
Chuuya thought it was her dream but fuck sadly it wasn’t. When she opened her eyes, she found Dazai again suckling on the glands on hand. 
Chuuya almost screeched, they were  in public and even if Dazai was her mated omega, if a group of alpha attacked them, lord knows what would happen. 
Luckily, they arrived in their hometown within in a short amount of time and called a taxi back to their apartment, hoping that nothing would happen and Dazai can hold back. Dazai was about to lose her mind again if Chuuya didn’t bite her scent glands on the neck at the back of the cab and she would have fling herself out of the taxi window. Fortunately, the taxi driver was an elderly beta woman who knew the situation for them and drove them home on a safer route. 
And when they came home, they went on it again for 8 more days. 
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