#asknado 2024

[beefrobeefcal]

my fellow Pedro Scout 🫡

Beefro, i must know. what is each Chubby P-Boy’s post-full belly ritual/routine? when they simple cannot stuff themselves anymore (impossible, i know)?

THIS WHOLE EXERCISE IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME, SCOUT STATY!

Alright... are we ready? There are 11 - yes, E L E V E N - P-boys in the Bistro and I'm not going to leave a single one out!

Thanks for the ask, @hellfire-state-of-mind - I hope this helps sate your insatiable need for knowledge!

Yours in sin,

Beefro👌🥩💜

Frankie [The Catfish & The Mouse]

He's only hit his absolute, stuffed-to-the-gills threshold a handful of times and at the end of each one, Frankie has found himself on the couch. Mouse is cuddled up with him, offering soothing belly rubs and maybe a lazy hand job to get his mind off of how full he truly is. He can't say he hates the feeling and he likes the fact that Mouse is all over him when he's in this state.

Joel [Joel Miler & his Darlin']

This man doesn't have the willpower to not hit that limit at least once a week. He's obsessed with Darlin's cooking, and he cannot hold himself back for very long. So the routine is this: Darlin' listens to Joel exclaim his regrets while also praising her cooking skills; they go home and Joel complains about how many steps there are to their home and then again to their bedroom; Darlin' gets him a glass of water and piles the pillows so he can lay back but not flat on the bed; Joel complains about how much harder it is to get his pants off and Darlin' helps him get undressed; Joel usually lets out a gunshot sneeze or two before falling into a food coma while Darlin' gives him a foot or belly rub. Joel does not learn his lesson.

Pena [Javier Pena & his Sweetheart]

Much like Joel, Pena doesn't like to admit he can't control himself when the food is just that banging. Unlike Joel though, Pena is completely in denial that his eating habits are the culprit of his over stuffed and uncomfortable belly. HIs lovely Sweetheart can just roll her eyes and and offer a soothing shoulder rub while he grumbles over paperwork while sucking on a hard candy. Until Pena admits this is all his doing, this is how he's gonna handle being too full.

Dave [Dave York & Kitten]

We saw what Dave's ritual is when he has one too many Little Debbie's snackcakes in Play Nice. The man literally just wants to be coddled but still call the shots. Luckily for Kitten, Dave is a creature of habit and that isn't about to change any time soon.

Dieter [Dieter Bravo & Cookie]

Sex. He just wants to bump uglies when he's overly full. He once mentioned to Cookie that the increased heart rate and body heat makes the food digest quicker... or something scientifically inaccurate, but she's not going to complain. If Cookie isn't around to get on all fours for him (or ride his face, dick, where ever...), he's completely fine with putting on a b-grade porno version of one of his own movies and beat off into a pocket pussy. Dieter enjoys this too much to ever take on anther role that has a weight limit.

Joel [the BEEF | #1: Joel Miller]

Why are you here? So what if he ate a whole box of Wal-Mart brand waffles and several pizza pockets? What do you want? Oh you want to... to help Joel? No. He's busy trying to keep his mind off how full he is by watching the garage sale across the street through his blinds. No matter what, this man is not going to admit he's too full and he's gonna double down on who ever asks - even Sarah - and say to GET OFF HIS LAWN.

Ezra [Ezra & Cricket]

Much like Dieter, Ezra is acutely aware of how much more sensitive he is when he's in a heightened state - like being overly full. He knows the inflated and loquacious string of words to coo at Cricket to signal he's ready to put his serpentine rocket to good use in her winking eye of Kevva. He's not going to change this method, even when he feels over exerted and almost nauseous - it's all part of the thrill for him.

Tim [HeftyThrowaway - And eat it, too]

Unlike the rest of the P-boys. Tim is an enigma. So far, we only know he really enjoys cake. I guess we'll have to see what he's like when he officially joins the Bistro in Some Like it Hot.

Frankie [HeftyThrowaway - Being Neighbourly]

This version of Frankie really enjoys the feeling of being overly full - he just loves food too dang much to not get his kicks from sitting back after a few plates of spaghetti and meatballs to not revel in it.

Marcus [Marcus Pike & Dex]

Marcus is a stats man and he's competitive. He can tell you almost down to the bite of food - before he eats, mind you - how much it'll take to get that full, and if he pushes that limit? all the better. His post stuffing rituals include cuddles and tummy rubs courtesy of Dex, with lots and lots of praise.

BigFish Morales [On the Waterfront]

The chokehold this man has on me... If he found his limit, he'd want to get the upper hand on someone else (considering the shepherd's pie got it on him), and a good old fashioned blow job would be in order. He wants relief without having to do a damn thing, so y'all better get on your knees.

[imdrinkingpedro]

Hey fellow scout!

Pedro boys smoking: hot or not?

Let’s qualify this answer:

Smoking is bad. It’s bad for you. It’s bad for everyone around you. It’s bad on literally every level. Bad. And it’s gross. We all accept this, right? But…

I’m a human being with functioning eyeballs and more brain cells than a kitchen sponge so as much as I wanna say not, my nethers remind me it’s ridiculously HOT.

I don’t make the rules.

[grogusmum]

Hello fellow scout,

I’m here on asknado business! I would love to know if you have a favourite (smaller) writer here that you follow who you’d love to shout about to your fellow scouts? Or perhaps a fic under 200 notes you think needs all the love!

Much love,

Al 🖤

Excellent ask Al! As a smaller writing blog myself (with a couple exceptions), I always appreciate the signal boost!! I, um, got a little carried away!

Good Morning Campers!!

My beloved J over @insomniamamma is a brilliant writer, and her fics deserve more readers! She is one of the best Ezra writers on tumblr, and he is her main Pedro Boy, but her forays to other characters are always a joy! Particularly Nico (House Comes With a Bird) who is an often overlooked P-boy!

Be warned her speciality is hurt comfort and angst, filled with sharp wit. Her fics can be a beautiful gut punch!!

Here is her MASTERLIST, if you haven't read J's work-

Some highlights:

In The Light They Both Look The Same (Joel Miller x f!sexworker!reader) **smut**

Ephmira (Nico x f!reader)

Vanilla (Frankie Morales x f!reader) **smut**

Hands (Din Djarin x gn!reader w/grogu)

Liminal (Ezra and Cee)

Prickle (Ezra x f!reader)

Remain Nameless (Ezra and Cee w/gn!reader)

Persistence (Ezra x f!reader with Cee)

[toomanytookas]

Okay. Asknado. Let's do this.

Which side of the 'stache line do you fall on when it comes to Pedge?

Team 'stache? Team clean? And of all his roles, what's his best hair situation overall in your opinion?

ADIRA. Thanks for dropping by, lovely. I hope you made it through the asknado's path safely! 💕

Sorry this took a while, I wanted to settle my thoughts so it wasn't just me screaming: STACHE STACHE STACHE STACHE STACHE STACHE (a la LMFAO ft. Lil' Jon).

That man was born to have facial hair in my book and I am so glad he's been going with it, especially now that there's the combo of the curls with the greys AND his little bare patch WITH THE STACHE????

As big a fan I am of the beard and of his longer hair, I think if I were to look deep down (let's face it, not that deep), my platonic ideal for the hair situation is the Javier Peña set up.

How do I know this? I started this side blog basically just to be able to create a tbr list and comment on fics that I read here rather than on ao3. However, it wasn't very long before I started sneaking the occasional GIF reblog in there so I would have a nice Pedge to look at every so often. Just for fun. Just to stare at. You know... on a rainy day.

And let me tell you, Adira, every single one... Every single one bar maybe like... 2 or 3 that are Dieter? Javi P. Javi P with that beautiful swoopy hair, 'stache, sideburns, and no beard (but sometimes some five o'clock shadow) combo.

A flight of Javi's (one from each season) for your consideration.

There something about it that feels like such a nice balance to me. Could stare at it all day. 🫠

What about you? ✨

[firstofficerwiggles]

Hey friend!! Popping in for a Pedro Scouts fun ask time!

I'm wondering which Pedro Boy is your favorite to write/read for?

Have a great weekend!

xoxo

Hi, fellow Pedro Scout! Thanks for the question! My favorite to write and read is Din Djarin 😊 I fell in love with him from his first scene, and he inspired me to finally publish my fanfiction for others to read.

[beefrobeefcal]

Hello scout Beefro!

Asknado incoming:

Which Pedro boy would you trust to get your McDonalds order correct, with no prompting?

Love, El

This is an important question, Scout El!

I'm gonna put my money on...

Season3!Javier Pena! Why? Because this guy already has enough stress on his plate, I doubt he'd want to add more by messing up my Cheeseburger with extra mustard & onions happy meal, chocolate milk, no yogurt, small - not kids' - fries and yes pls to a toy order.

He'd also know to throw on a Large Latte just for good measure if it's before 2:00 pm.

Thanks for the ask, @secretelephanttattoo!

Yours in sin,

Beefro👌🥩💜

[imdrinkingpedro]

Hi there scout friend!

The year is 2030, your Pedro themed cocktails are so successful that you've opened your own bar and on opening night Mr Pascal himself shows up. What drink are you making him?

Love, El

This is an awesome question! But it’s like asking me to pick my favorite child—I love them all! But if I have to make some choices…

First thought is my favorite drink, an Old Fashioned--but Pascalized, of course. Inspired by his legendary Starbucks order, it was made with bourbon, just the right amount of chocolate bitters, cold brew, crème de cacao, and a floater of Kahlua. That was a treat I called the I Didn’t Shit Myself Old Fashioned.

But then, I think about the Narcotini; what a delightful pairing of Amaretto, espresso, crème de cacao—the dusting of powdered sugar… I mean, it’s the details, right?

Maybe though, The Bubble? Vodka, Kahlua, milk tea and Boba? That’s just nuts—but delish!

But what about the simple fun of Better Thank Super Ocho? I mean, peanut butter whiskey, dark chocolate liqueur, some Torani syrup and a splash of milk?

And then I arrive at the drink that started it all: Pedro’s Slutty Knee, a sharp, flavorful raspberry vodka, cranberry juice, and limoncello.

But final answer? I’m pouring him the world’s finest tequila, squeezing in the freshest lime juice (to avoid scurvy, of course), sliding onto the barstool next to him, and thanking him for all the inspiration.

@alyssamariag

[grogusmum]

Hello, Pedro Scout! The asknado swept me to your blog. So, I want to know if you had to share a house with four Pedro characters, which ones would be your housemates and why?

Whoo boy Wiggles, you've got me over a barrel!! How do I choose???

Let's see

Din with Grogu, of course... because they are my space family!!

Javi G because he would be so fun to watch movies with, and he's such a sweetie pie and I loves him

Frankie would be a very good house dad I think... and I loves him

Okay, now I'm torn... do I pick Marcus P the romantic and breakfast enthusiast, or Oberyn with his passion for, well, everything? What about Ezra, my beloved?? He could tell some amazing stories like only he knows how...

Oh Wiggles I just don't know!!

[laughing-in-th3-purple-rain]

Hi! You Scout!

Love your username, here for Asknado!

Love, Coffee

Hi Coffee!! (gotta say, I love your username right back!)

Thanks for stopping by 😊 *hands you a fresh cuppa*

Ooh I love this!

Marcus Pike would be the first who comes to mind of course, but I think Tim Rockford would come along for a Bruce Springsteen gig. And then grumble about his back hurting, after standing for the 3-hour long show.

However, I'm sure he'd love it, especially when the older tunes are played, and he'd show his moves during Dancing in the Dark. 😊

What about you?

Thanks for the great ask!

Cheers,

Fellow coffee lover

[pedroscurls]

Hi! My fellow Pedro Scout!🤗 Asknado incoming! So… Let’s get serious… FMK (kiss) between Marcus Pike, Jack Daniels, and Dieter. Why? 

hello there, my fellow scout!

noooo, this is tough - I can't do all three with all three? fine... if I had to choose:

F - Jack Daniels because who wouldn't want to ride a cowboy??? 🤠

M - Marcus Pike. I just feel like he would cater to your every need... and do his absolute best to make sure you're happy

K(iss) - Dieter Bravo... I mean, this dude just looks like he'd kiss you with so much passion and leave you wanting more

[aurorawritestoescape]

Today was a very productive Pedro scout day💖 I finished sending all my Asknado asks, replied to the ones I got and finally sorted out my badges😍

Thank you @pedroscouts for organising it and kudos to everyone who helps our scoutmaster!! I’m so happy to interact with my fellow scouts🥰Ready for more fun!🫡

[firstofficerwiggles]

Happy weekend, Wiggles!!

I saw this on social and thought it was too good not to ask here for the 2024 Asknado:

S'Mores are a sandwich - agree or disagree?

Hi!! I have never considered this before, but I'm going to go with s'mores do count as a sandwich. Sort of the same way, an ice cream sandwich is a sandwich/dessert treat. Also, s'mores sound really good right now.

However, I will go on the record to say hot dogs are not sandwiches.

[beefrobeefcal]

Hi fellow Scout! In honor of the asknado, I was wondering...

If you had to be handcuffed to one Pedro character for a full day, what Pedro character would you choose? 🌪️

Oh this is a gooder, scout Louvie!

I am a middle child and I just love to stir the pot... I would have to say I want to be tethered to...

Tim Rockford! Imagine the delight (or dread) he would feel the moment he realized he was going to be tethered to an ADHD riddled smut writer who wants to feed him for 24 hours! He'd either just barely survive or be stuffed and 10lbs heavier...

Thanks for the ask. @whocaresstillthelouvre!

Yours in sin,

Beefro👌🥩💜

[grogusmum]

ASKNADOOOOOOOOO

Okay. You get into your car and you're getting ready to go, and a Pedro boy pops up from the back. After you're done screaming, he asks you to take him somewhere.

Which one is it, and where does he want to go?

Adira! I love this question... I'm having trouble picking, so it was off the picker wheel!

Okay! Because I love Pero out of time, this got more complicated than I intended (and probably the question intended), but here we are...

Pero sits up from being hunkered down in the backseat, and I scream, and he screams

Then I stop, because why he is he yelling too?

He starts speaking in a rapid and agitated Spanish that isn't quite Spanish. It seems closer to latin

I get out my phone with a translator app (thank the gods for nerds!) just in time to translate "witchcraft" and an approximation of "if he isn't dead already, I'm going to kill that Irishman"

I use the translator to ask him what happened and what does he want... it's closer to straight up latin we learn in school, but he picks up enough and tells me he needs to get back to the highest hill with the statue looking out to the sea

I realize he's talking about the monument to our forefathers 🤢

I drive him over there, and Pero gets out and looks around I watch for a little and then get out to help if I can

He really isn't sure what he's looking for and after a while he growles in frustration and defeat

He curses everything and everyone

Then I say let's get some food and I take him for lobster mac and cheese at the tavern and then we go to Cupcake Charlie's for dessert

He inhales the mac and cheese

Pero finds Hostess with the Mostess cupcake transcendent, and I can tell he's planning to steal my Grammy's Carrot Cup so I quickly buy another

[laughing-in-th3-purple-rain]

hello hello hello, i am here on asknado business (i've been blown in from pedro scouts)

and i wanted to ask you, if you have a favourite quote you live by and if you have a favourite book, what that is? (if you don't want to share your favourite book, fave fanfic also works)

ily 🩷

Jo!! 💜

Apologies for the ridiculous delay in answering this, but my mind went blank re all quotes and books I have ever read. 😅

I still cannot settle on a quote, so here's my book.

The Hobbit will always hold a special place in my heart. It's the first book I ever read, and I did it with my big brother when I was 6 and he was helping me practice my reading skills!

And decades later, I still have that same copy, where I marked Bilbo's journey on the map at the beginning of the book! 😊

Thanks for the ask, love you too! 💜

[penvisions]

Hi! My fellow Pedro Scout!🤗 Asknado incoming! So… Let’s get serious… FMK (kiss) between Marcus Pike, Javi Peña, and Jack Daniels. Why?

WYM, the way i sat on this, i'm so sorry

but also.....you ask the hard questions bb! soooooo fuck jack, marry javi, kiss marcus!