#assertive rain is my absolute favourite

[wahgifs]

you do things slowly sometimes. love in the air episode 6

[thathusenfulhu]

if you miss moon cafe on a friday, here’s what you do

it's 4pm on a friday and man, i am absolutely mad with hunger. i woke up a couple of hours back, like any good dhivehi man, and lay in bed trying to figure out what i wanted to eat and where. because you see, my mother now lives all the way in phase two and i can't just pop in on a friday afternoon to get free grub. anyhow, it was already 3pm when i was done eliminating cuisines and individual dishes from my list. it was now clear that i wanted dhivehi keun. so i did as someone might – i settled for a maldivian rice bowl from rodchenko. it's the perfect sub for those who've missed the lunch buffet at moon cafe and still crave something dhivehi. to my dismay, i found out rodchenko did not open for an hour. so, i watched some russian propaganda clips on tiktok. putin. such an eloquent man. so knowledgeable, especially on his great adversary. i doubt biden knows or cares as much about russia. and now, at 4pm i call rodchenko and place my order. it will take forty minutes, they tell me. fine, i say. maybe i can watch putin speak for another half hour. the more i listen to putin, the more i am drawn to him. his charisma is apparent even on the phone's small screen. i listen to him criticise the west with great composure. of course, i don't agree with him on most points but he sounds incredibly persuasive. he sounds like someone you could get behind. finally, the time has come to head out to rodchenko so off i go. it is drizzling and so goddamned humid it almost seems like the air is giving me a big wet hug. rodchenko is quiet. dead quiet. i race upstairs and the place is empty but for me and a server who hurries to the kitchen. i take a seat in the booth, my back against a plump cushion. the dish is soon in front of me. it's an old favourite of mine, the maldivian bowl.

let me describe it briefly. there's rice half drowned in masfen, topped off with caramelised onions and sides of thelli faiy, sweet potato, and crowned with a dollop of rihaakuru. it's savoury, slightly sour, the coconut milk in the masfen adding some welcome sweetness while the chili turns on the heat. by all means, a decent substitute for moon cafe. i watch the rain patter on the large windows, thinking now of the prospects of nuclear war. the pro putin tiktok channel asserts the scientists involved the manhattan project revealed atomic secrets to the soviet union. why? putin says it's because these smart men understood that a single nuclear nation was far too dangerous and another opposing nuclear power was needed to restore balance. i finish my lunch and pay 115MVR at the counter. it costs 20MVR more now but still not too steep for a good dhivehi meal at this cafe with a russian's name. balance – i check mine on the phone. all is well.

[itsthestutterforme]

Take Shelter (Will Miller x reader)

Summary: You like to keep people at arms length. Will wants to test that, respectfully of course.

Notes: GIF is not mine, angst, mistakes are all my own

Prompt 1 cred @screnwriter : "It's not anything personal."

Prompt 2 cred @screnwriter : "I want to trust you. I really do."

Reference: "Six" - Sleeping At Last

'i want to take shelter but I'm ready, ready to fight'

--

Pressing your hands against the cold tile of the shower, your entire head and neck were submerged in the blazing hot water. You just hopped in, trying to decompress after a long day at your corporate job. Your eye twitches just thinking about it.

The sharp ping of the doorbell made you grumble. Shutting off the water, you wrap a towel around your frame. "This better be good," you say, making your way to the door. There Will stood, dripping wet from the rain and his Henley shirt hugging his biceps and chest.

"Oh my God, Will. Come inside. It's freezing." You take his arm and pulled him inside the house. "What are you doing out here? What happened?" He remained silent and walked closer to you until his head was draped over your shoulder.

To say that you were concerned was an understatement. Though you have been involved with him for only four months, you've never seen him this shaken. Involved is the better term than relationship. It's more of an occasional hook up that leaves you sore for days and your heart warm.

You hated the latter. Things are so much easier when it's purely sex but as soon as he made you look into his eyes when you came apart. It was getting harder and harder.

He's always been the calm, calculated type. Someone who can take charge of the situation calls for it but will let someone else lead if they wanted to.

You, on the other hand, are more assertive and he absolutely loved it. "Alright, let's get you out of these clothes. Come on."

You tried to leave but he kept his ground. "Will?" You held his cold cheeks in his hands and made him look down at you, his ogate eyes desperately searching yours.

He was trying not disassociate but he was starting to lose ground. He went straight to your house when his helicopter landed from Peru.

Redfly's death took a larger toll on him than he expected. He strung it out so Benny would be okay. And now he's the one that needs to be held and told that everything is going to be okay.

You were the first person that popped up in his mind. You were the only person who popped up in his mind. You were the only one he had besides Benny.

And he hopelessly wants to be more to you than an occasional hook up but he knows that your walls are so thick even you can't move passed them for the betterment of yourself.

"Everything is going to be alright. Just follow me." You takes his hand into yours and drag him into the room. He sits on the bed while you rummage through your dressers for clothes he left from previous visits when you realized you never let him leave anything.

"Shit, just take everything off and I'll get you a towel and a blanket." You suggest but he stays there shaking on the edge.

You rush into the bathroom to grab a towel. Once you came back, you dried his clothes before peeling them from his body and drying his back and chest.

You did the same with his pants and dried his legs and waist. He continues to shiver even after you dried him and you wrap your favourite throw around him.

You toss your towel before and slide on underwear and a baggy t-shirt. "Are you hungry or anything?" He shakes his head and you stand in front of him with your hands on your hips.

He needs your support, that's why he's here with you but you don't want to give him the idea that you two are more than associates.

Screw it. The last time you were like this, you didn't have anyone to comfort you. You refused to have him go through that. You turn on the electric fireplace and take another blanket to put on the floor.

You motion for him to lay down on his back in front of the fireplace. He shoots up and wraps his clothed arms around your frame to pull you into his lap.

You hiss at the cold skin coming into contact with your warm skin but you tough it out. Placing a hand on the back of his neck and he pulls until your hips were flushed against his stomach. You rub comforting circles on his trembling frame, shaky breathes escaping his lips.

"Deep breathes," "I can't," "Yes you can," he shakes his head and dug his nails into your side. "Look at me," you wait until he complies to press a lingering kiss on his lips so he could hold his breath for a few moments. "You are here with me, and you are safe. You're safe here."

The trembling had gone down and he exhales deeply once the heat of the fireplace sunk through the blanket. "Thank you," he says and you nod. His hands drifted to your lower back but you caught his hands."Not tonight. Just try to keep warm, okay?"

His ogate eyes twinkled as they bore into yours. You knew exactly what he was thinking and you didn't want to address it tonight. He laid down and pulled you down with him.

--

Your leg twitched as a familiar pressure built in your core. A wet lick along your folds had your jolting awake. Sitting up, you found Will in between your legs.

"You don't have to do that, Will. We can-" "Please, I can't- I don't want to talk about it. So just please let me get lost in you for a while."

Things were never going to be the same after this and you knew that. "Alright, if that helps." "It will. I like hearing the noises you make," he licks his lips and your core pulsed at his words. Your breath hitched as he teases your clit with the tip of his tongue.

He alternates between circling your clit and licking the strip painfully slow. You whimper at his persistent advance towards giving you your orgasm. "Will, oh God," he draws figure eights under the hood on your exposed nerve and your entire body glitched.

Your breathing grew heavy and he grumbles when you tried to push him away. He held you down with his arm. You yelp when he circles your clit at a fast pace and used his thumb to apply more pressure. Rolling your hips into his mouth, you push his head closer to your core.

Your legs started to shake and your back arched off the blanket. Finally reaching your peak, you were going to screw your eyes shut until you felt his hand on your stomach, signalling you to meet his gaze while you fall apart. Your eyes snapped open and looked into his lust blown eyes for a few moments.

You throw your head back as you came into his mouth and fell back on the floor. You were still dazed from your orgasm when he flipped you over on your stomach. You tried to go on your knees. "Uh uh," he says as he pushes you back down until you were laying down completely.

"Just relax and enjoy it, sweetheart." Your stomach did flips at the pet name. He kisses the curve of your neck and you moan softly. The tip of his dick slid home and the rest of him followed. You grasp at the blanket next to you. He pulled your hand away and linked it with his next to your head.

His strokes were smooth, yet deep that had your back arching in seconds. "You always feel so good," he nips at your shoulder while his other hand kept you in place while he rams into you. Your moans grew louder when the tip of his dick nudged your gspot.

"Ah shit, shit, shit." You chant and clenched around him hard. "Fuck," he groans into your ear. Your mouth fell open when you reached your peak. He fucked you through your orgasm and led to another. "Shit, I feel so full." "That's right, sweetheart. Come for me."

He can tell you were close from how much your pussy was suctioning him and you felt his dick twitch. You clenched when the tip was almost out and his release painted your walls and you came soon after. You waited for the trembling to subside from your fourth orgasm to roll on your back.

He lays down next to you and props himself up on his elbow. "One of my close friends passed. Someone shot him right in front of me," and things were starting to come together. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'm glad you're safe." You tell him and he runs a hand over his face.

"Thank you for being there for me. I.. I didn't have anyone else." Your heart shattered in your chest. "I'm glad you came. You shouldn't be alone after something so traumatic." He examines your face for a moment and reaches out to caress your cheek with his thumb.

You two never touched each other like this before. It was a precaution so neither of you caught feelings but that ship sailed a long time ago. You caught his hand and shook your head.

"We cant. I can't." "You can trust me," "I want to trust you. I really do, but I can't," "Why not?" When you dont respond, he adds, "You're scared. You're scared of of how happy I can make you."

You stand from the floor and adjust your shirt so it's covering everything. "I've been through enough. I can't take any more pain, Will. It's not anything personal."

"It's personal to me because I care about you. And I know you care about me because you took care of me yesterday."

You leave the room and advance to the kitchen to start the coffee maker. Pressing your hands against the counter and bowed your head a little.

"Baby," "Stop, please." you interrupt. "You need to trust that if you fall, I will catch you. Just like you did me." "I can't do that,"

"You aren't the only one whose hurt effects everything they do. How aware you are of your surroundings. Leaving the house at a certain hour so you come back before nightfall. Who you keep as friends-- or more than friends." He pulls your shoulder back so you turned around to face him.

"I'm not the person who hurt you and I can't go back in time and change what happened. But I can't try to make you feel safe and loved. Just give me a chance, please." Tears brimmed in your eyes and he brushed them away with the pad of his thumb.

Shaking your head, you hide your face away from him and sniffles as you hopelessly tried to hold back your tears. He cups the back of your head and pressed it into his chest. Your mind screamed at you to fight him but all your body wanted to do was to find shelter- a safe place. Your body was tired of fighting.

"I don't have any fight left," you croak. "I'm sorry," you add, not sure who you're saying it to. You just felt the need to take it off your chest.

His body offered solace and one of the walls for your shelter. "You have nothing to be sorry about," he says after a few moments of silence.

"And you'll always be a fighter. It's in your blood. And just because you can, doesn't mean you always have to." And that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Clinging to him, your nails dug into the solidity of his skin. Sobs bubbled in your chest and you caved.

Smoothing a hand over your hair, he tried to pull you away so you would look into his eyes. You whined in response but he persisted until you finally looked at him with puffy red eyes. "Heavenly,"

[nakedmossy]

Depth Over Distance - Part One [Rudy x Reader]

[A/N: I haven’t found a hometown Rudy fic yet soooo I wrote one. I have no idea where this story is going to go and I’m honestly finding it hard to get out of writing JJ and get into writing Rudy, but here we go anyways. I wanted to write something where the reader and Rudy were hometown friends before he moved to LA, and to explore the idea of how that would change/what it would look like when he comes back. Get ready for a S L O W. B U R N. my dudes. Peace and love, Mossy x]

The sky was grey and the air was wet - it had been raining for 4 days straight. You sat in your car with the heat cranked, your window down slightly so that the humidity didn’t fog up your mirrors. Living on the Alaskan coast was beautiful most of the time but horrible some of the time, especially when you had to waste gas just keeping warm and dry at 6pm in the beginning of ‘Summer’. 

You had never lived anywhere else aside from the summer you spent in Vancouver with your cousin when you were 19. Now, at 23, you were working full time at the local bookshop that was an 8 minute drive from your house in the winter and a 20 minute walk/skate in the summer. Your car was parked street side, waiting for your friend Lizzy to finish her shift at the cafe. The smell of the rain and the Ben Howard song on the radio made you nostalgic about the times you and your friends from high school had spent hours skating down these streets, beers in your backpacks, no helmets, dirty shoes and clothes, no pressure, no responsibilities, no cell service...no worries. 

Since graduation a lot of your friends had moved out of town, either to Anchorage or down to Washington, or further south. Your best friend Lizzy had stayed close to home, helping run her families business and working part time at the cafe. You had stayed local too...your dad owned a fishing guide business and your mom was an admin assistant for the MD in town, but neither made enough to cover all the medical bills you had racked up over the last few years. You figured once the debt was paid off you might leave...but you had no idea where you would go. 

You missed all of your friends, but you missed the boys the most, aside from Lizzy you didn't have a lot of female friends, and your boys had been like brothers to you. You spoke to most of them every few weeks on FaceTime, except Rudy. He had gone to LA for awhile and had kept in touch loosely, but after the first few months he started to drift. 

You felt the loss the hardest for Rudy. He had been your closest friend the longest, you had spent nearly every day of every summer together since you were 9, and every school year you worked the same part time job at the seafood restaurant on the water. Now, the last you heard, he was coming back for the summer to ‘reconnect’. You had low expectations and tried not to let yourself get excited, but truthfully, you wanted him to spend some time at home and be around his own kind again - he had always been a homebody and you were worried that being gone for 4 years would go to his head or change him.

Lizzy tapped on the glass, causing you to blink out of your reverie and smile at her. You rolled the window down and let her reach in and open the door from the inside (the handle had been broken since high school). She threw her backpack and skateboard in the back seat, climbing in and closing her door.

“Ugh.” She grunted as her teeth chattered and she rubbed her bare legs. 

“You know its only May, you shouldn’t even be wearing shorts yet. The snow just melted.”

Lizzy glared at you playfully and put her hand out to do your handshake. You did it, then put the car in drive and started slowly down the street, windshield wipers moving rhythmically.

“How was the shift?” You asked as you checked your mirrors and wiped some humidity off the rear view. 

“Same old” Lizzy leaned back in her seat and pulled the visor mirror down to fix her hair. “That old man Collins from the cannery keeps coming in and harassing me.”

“Jack? The one with the eye patch?” 

Lizzy nodded dramatically as she held the bobby pins in her mouth and started to twist her straight black hair off her face. 

“That guy-“ She finished placing the final pin and slammed the visor closed “-Is an absolute creep.”

You snorted a sarcastic laugh and rolled your eyes.

“He’s like...70. And widowed. Don’t be rude.”

“I’m not being rude. Im just...asserting my boundaries.”

“You literally have a 3 foot counter between you at minimum, at all times.” You looked over at her and raised your eyebrows.

“Whatever. All I’m saying is we need hotter men in this town. Like...soon.”

You nodded in agreement and felt your eyes wander all over the road, remembering the time you and Rudy had taken your longboards down it after a torrential downpour and you had crashed and gotten such bad road burn that he had to call his dad to come pick you both up because you couldn’t walk.

“Hey, Y/N, are you listening?” Lizzy cut back in, staring at you.

“No, what?”

“I said, speaking of hot guys, I heard Rudy is coming back for a few months.”

You pinched your face and looked at her then at the road, then back at her.

“Rudy is not hot. Rudy is....Rudy. What are you talking about?”

Lizzy looked at you disbelieving and closed her mouth, trying not to smile.

“What!” You repeated, smacking her arm.

“Hey!” She laughed, then shook her head and looked out the window. “Whatever you say man, I just think....” She grabbed her water bottle and began to screw off the lid “I just think...he’s not gonna be the same Rudy that left 4 years ago. He’s like...a movie star now.”

You couldn’t even begin to touch that one. You knew what she was doing...she was always harping on you about going on dates or taking trips with her to the mainland to hook up with the pilots during their layovers. You never went, and always insisted that you were just fine and were not interested. She never listened. Part of that was true...you were fine, and usually not interested. But sometimes, when the water was calm and the sunset was colourful and the fish were jumping and your beer was cold...you wished you had someone to share it with.

“I’m going up to Skagway this weekend with my dad” You said, changing subjects. “He’s short a guide and needs someone to drive the boat.”

“Lucky you” She said sarcastically, screwing the lid back on her bottle. “Another weekend spent with men twice your age who have zero ability to catch a fish and even less ability to smell nice.” 

“It’s good money.” You said flatly, annoyed that everything seemed to revolve around men with her. “And in case you forgot I’m kinda in need of that at the moment.”

Lizzy licked her lips and put her hands up, dipping her head. 

“Alright...noted. Chill out Kemosabe.” She giggled under her breath and looked out her window, drawing a small penis in the moisture on the window.

“Babe, seriously. You need to get laid.” You said, shaking your head.

“I know” She replied, working on the veins. “Trust me. Im in a state of national emergency by this time of year.”

Lizzy was absolutely one of the girliest girls (and most beautiful girls) in the south of Alaska, which was ironic considering the house she grew up in. Her dad was an overweight German restaurant entrepreneur who had opened a world class seafood restaurant in Juneau back in the 90s and had shacked up with her mother who was this drop dead gorgeous Haida warrior woman who you had literally seen kill and skin a bear with her own hands. 

They had forged this chain of restaurants local to Alaska that people flew hundreds of miles to eat at, but still lived in an off-grid cabin that hadn’t been insulated since 1960 and used wood heating. Not really the type of family that screamed southern belle femininity - yet somehow Lizzy came out of that union with a pink bed set, refusing to ever wear camo or sweatpants, and still had never shot a gun - which her mother reminded her of weekly. 

Lizzy had hit puberty at 10 and had used her breast advantage over every girl in your class for the next 3 years like some sort of distinction of better genetics, as if she needed boobs to prove that. Unlike you, she was naturally thin and tall (6ft to be precise), had long, thick straight black hair and olive skin, and perfect hips. You felt like a prepubescent boy standing next to her, with your uneven complexion and your frizz and your awkward thigh fat distribution. You were envious of her genetics - her mother graced her with the body of an athlete and the thick black hair, and her father had given her height and cheekbones that could slice through glass. You looked down at your arms, covered in freckles, pasty white from lack of sun, and cringed, looking back at the road.

You turned the corner leaving the main road and starting on the dirt road that led to your favourite part of beach access. Lizzy pulled her hoodie out of her backpack and took off her seatbelt, leaning forward to pull it down over her head. You leaned forward and looked up, this was your favourite part of the drive. The dirt road which was lined with moss and ferns and other foliage wound along the base of the snow capped mountain that was at least 1000ft in elevation. The mist and fog from the coast was thick and creeped through the tall cedar trees, black ravens and falcons flying overhead stark against the white mist. This was the most idyllic picture of northwest coastal living you could find.

When you parked at the trail head Lizzy slipped off her work flats and into her Teva’s, you grabbed your yellow Vans out of your trunk and slipped them on. You usually drove bare foot, a habit you had started in high school after Rudy had thrown your shoes off the dock at the restaurant and you had to drive home without any. You grabbed your sweater and your backpack which had the beer in it. As you were both gathering the rest of your things...beach blanket, hats, and rain cover, you heard a car pull up behind you. You stood up out of the trunk and squinted to see the car through the fog. It was a black ford pickup you had never seen before. 

“Who’s that?” Lizzy chimed in from behind you.

“No clue” You said as you lifted your hand to wave once. 

The truck had tinted windows and looked brand new. When it pulled up beside you, the drivers side window began to unroll, revealing Junior - your high school (ex) sweetheart.

“Holy” You said, eyebrows up, nodding. “Nice truck - where’d you steal it from?” He rolled his eyes at you dramatically.

“Whatever kid - its a rental. Got it to drive to the airport in.” His chest puffed out and his expression read so proud. 

“Airport?” You said inquisitively. “Since when does Alan pay you to drive new trucks to the airport?” 

“Since Rudy hired him for the pick up service and apparently is incapable of driving his own ass around anymore” Junior snorted and waved at Lizzy.

“Or he doesn’t have a car here anymore” You noted, rolling your eyes at him.

“Either way, I get this bad boy for the next 24 hours and I intend to give her the royal grand tour of our humble town.” He ran his hand up and down the steering wheel, stroking the new leather. “Wanna go for a rip?” He said, winking. You shook your head and crossed your arms over your chest. 

“Well I do” Lizzy piped up from beside you, walking closer to the window. She smiled at Junior and began to put her hair in a pony tail. She nudged your arm as she began to walk to the passenger side door. “Come on, granny. Let’s go!”

She laughed as she climbed up into the truck, but you shook your head again.

“I’m good...you kids have fun. Say hi to Rudy for me” You said to Junior, who shrugged his head and muttered ‘definitely wont do that’ under his breath.

Lizzy blew a kiss at you and waved once before Junior put it in drive and started to go up the dirt road north of you. 

Junior and you had ended on okay terms, but he had concocted a theory that you had broken up with him because of another guy, and the unspoken suggestion was that that guy had been Rudy. Small town guys had a heck of a time with the idea of girls and guys just being friends. 

You sighed and watched as the truck disappeared around the corner, and turned back to your own car. You grabbed your backpack and slammed the trunk closed, walking down the path alone. You weren’t mad at Lizzy for going with him - she was flighty and bailed on you at the bar all the time - but you were mad the beer was going to go warm before you could drink it all. Not that you should even be drinking 6 beers alone by the water when you had to drive yourself home. Doubtful the 2 cops in this town would even be awake to see you though. Whatever.

You reached the end of the path and rounded the corner, revealing the coast line and the rocky beach. It was your favourite place to sit and think, sit and smoke, sit and be yourself. The beach curled in a U shape, giving you a private spot where the rest of the shoreline was blocked from view and all you could see was the ominous cedar forest that stretched up the mountain, the snow caps at the top, and the horizon over the cold pacific.

You had intended to share the joint you had in your pocket with Lizzie, but...well, her loss. You spread the blanket out on the softest patch of sand and rocks you could find (which still meant you were guaranteed to get at least 2 rocks in the ass) and placed your bag down, kicking off your sneakers. You took a deep breath for the first time in a few days and lit the joint, taking one long, deep inhale. You felt it tingle through your chest and your arms and legs almost immediately, relaxing you. Being here alone always sent you into a spiral of memories and thoughts that you worked hard during the day to suppress. Most insistent lately had been thoughts about your health problems. You called them ‘health problems’ but in reality it was just an eating disorder. You could go 2, sometimes 3 days without eating anything, and never felt hungry. It started after graduation.

You had lost weight, dramatically, going from a stable 120-125 to 95 at most and 90 at worst, in the span of a month. And for the next three years you had never gained it back, you had stayed at a relatively stable 95, which still left you looking sickly and too thin at 5’3”. Your frame wasn’t built for that kind of weight drop, you were Scottish and Cree, sprinkled with a little bit of German and Irish. A classic northwest cracker mix. You weren’t naturally small, you always had a bit of something to grab onto, but it was normal to your body, healthy. 

Some part of your brain knew that it had something to do with leaving school...and the pretence that came with that. The expectation...the responsibility. You were never that kind of person, and it never really bothered you, but suddenly it had. You never planned to go to University right away, but you had no back up plan. It wasn't something you and your friends really talked about. But suddenly Jacob had gotten into U of Washington, Dan had left to backpack Europe, and Rudy had not so graciously announced he was deferring his acceptance and scholarship to culinary school because he wanted to be an actor, and flew to LA the next month. You had been left behind, with Lizzy of all people, and it had hit you hard.

You looked around the beach, dragging on your joint quicker than normal, trying to knock the thoughts out of your head. An Eagle screeched above - scaring you - and you laid back on the blanket, closing your eyes. You needed to chill the hell out. This was the first time in a few weeks that you had gotten a night off from helping your dad with his guide business and you didn’t plan on wasting it riddling your brain with anxiety and worrying about your body.

You looked up at the sky and watched the mist and fog kiss the clouds, the sunset colours dancing across them. As it usually did, the rain had stopped just as the sun was going down, the clouds parting briefly and letting the smallest sliver of sunlight through, just enough to burn the grey light out of the sky and allow the pink and orange hues to fade along the horizon. You sat up and cracked a beer, enjoying the fresh smelling air and the rhythmic sound of the waves licking the shore line. 

Two beers in you had put on your jacket and placed your Bluetooth speaker next to you on the blanket, blasting a playlist that Rudy had made you for your graduation party.

Three beers in you took the jacket off, standing up and dancing by yourself on the beach to the music.

Four beers in you laid down on the blanket, balled your jacket up and used it as a pillow, and started looking for shapes in the stars.

Five beers in you fell sleep.

———

Many hours later, as the sun rose and was bright on the water and the early morning bird feed was in full swing overhead, you were drifting in and out of sleep to the squawking when a shadow came across your face, alerting you to groggily open your eyes.

“What’s up, Little Fern?” His voice had gotten deeper. Wait, what?

You opened your eyes and blinked, raising a hand to block the sun. There, in your very awake and very not dreaming state, was the unmistakable silhouette that you had spent the last 18 years dreaming about and 18 years being a friend to.

Rudy.

[duskypinkbow]

Shitty weather II Jeff Wittek

summary: You meet Jeff again after a long period of time.

word count: 3,4k (upsy daisy)

note: This is my first fic ever so pls bear with me! :)

A veery very big shoutout to my lil angle @geoffwittek for proofreading and correcting my mistakes! Love u gurl u r the best 🎀

“The house could be packed“ Natalie took the time to warn you. You waved her off while putting your bag between your legs „that’s totally fine“.

As you two drove through LA traffic you looked out at the sky and noticed the clouds are getting grey. „it might rain today..“ you determined, while the two of you continued your conversation. Finally, you pulled up at her house, or to be more specific, David’s house she happened to be living in. Nat parked the car in front of the gate due to the fact that the entrance was already blocked by other cars. Your friend looked at her phone „yeeep“ she said as the scrolled through her messages „there is definitely something going on here…“ - „oh, well I can always leave right away if it gets too much“ you promised while unbuckling your seatbelt and making your way to the house.

„Daaaaavid!“ she screamed, falling to the ground in fear. „You can’t do that to me!“ she complained as her hands rested over her heart. The brown-haired boy giggled, his phone still recording in his hands. After putting it back in his pocket he helped Natalie stand up again. „That’s my idiot roommate..“ Natalie explained to you. „aaaaand boss“ he added smugly, smiling from ear to ear. He stuck his hand out towards you. „David“ he said - „y/n“ you introduced yourself in return.

Once the introductions were done, you observed a big living room further down the hallway. „Come with me…“ Natalie instructed “I’m gonna show you my closet“. You followed her steps through the living room, which was indeed packed with people. Some of them sitting on the big white couch while others were leaning on the kitchen island. Natalie greeted them with a shouted hello, while you just waved shyly in an attempt to symbolise a well meant greeting to all of them.

In the bedroom, your best friend showed you her very well organised closet filled with dresses and fancy skirts alike. „What size shoes are you?“ she asked. “umm.. y/s/s..“ you answered while looking through the endless hangers. „damn, so I can’t give you those fanc-„ before she could even finish her sentence a loud „Naaataaalieee“ came from the hallway. „ugh“ she groaned, reluctantly setting the pair of high heels down. “I’ll be right back..“ you softly nodded and continued to look through her closet.

After some time had passed you still couldn’t decide between three of her alluring dresses. You put the hanger of one of them above your head so that it was hanging clearly in front of your body. „Oh you would look so cute in that one!“ Natalie said as she was re-entering her room. You smiled at your reflection in the big mirror. „Don’t you think it’s a bit too much for a wedding?“ you asked, still a little uncertain. „Absolutely not!“ she denied your worries. „When is the wedding anyways?“ - „in like three month..“ you answered, still glancing in the mirror while posing a little for yourself in assessment. „Then just take this one and the other two… you can decide closer to the day.“ you looked up, in slight disbelief at her offer.  „I mean it..“ she asserted „I won’t need them…at least not in the next couple of months“ her words reassuring you.

With the dresses in your arms, you made your way to the hall in order to leave the big house again. You waved your goodbyes to the people still sitting and chatting in the living room.

As you made a turn in the hallway your head collided with a solid chest, your body almost falling down at the sudden loss of balance. Instead, two hands rested on your shoulders, effectively preventing the fall. „sorry i didn’t see-“ you said while looking up to be met with a pair of brown eyes. Your mouth remained slightly open, the rest of the apology stuck in your throat. It’s been almost six years since you last saw him.

~ 

You met on a rainy day in late autumn. Your clothes soaking wet as you stepped through the door of the studio. „shitty weather out there huh?“ first words he ever spoke to you. „tell me about it“ you nodded, focused on trying to wring out your soaked hair. „I don’t think that will help“ he chuckled lightly. The first time you heard his laugh, the handsome boy looked at you with a little smirk. „heey..can we get a hairdryer or somethin’ for her?“ he requested the man who was passing through the room, his right hand pointing in your direction. „Yeah I can grab one, you guys here for the shoot?“ the employee asked. Both of you nodded simultaneously „Perfect. Could you get ready in here?“ he instructed you on where to go and promised someone would bring the hairdryer.

It was silent on your way in before he decided to end the quiet by asking: „Sooo..is this your first job?“ - „umm, second“ you answered shyly, a bit intimidated by his hight, especially next to your smaller figure. „Is it that obvious?“ you asked, now a little embarrassed, questioning if you already did something wrong. He chuckled again „not at all“ he reassured, holding the correct door open for you „Jus’ wanted to start a conversation “ you smiled, feeling your cheeks flush at his straightforwardness.

„Yeah, I actually have another job in like two weeks“ you said while on the phone, a little after you two began to take some photos for the launching clothing line. „No…- I guess.. - no I need to find a new place for that time.. - yeah.. - worst case scenario I will just go to a hostel or rent a cheap hotel room…- i mean I’m just sleeping there right? - no yeah...i understand.. - i should really get going now.. - i’ll call you back okay? okay.. bye“ you end the call and return next to the tall stranger you just met, waiting for instructions on what’s next in the shoot.

„uhmm“ he begins shyly, still looking to the cameraman who was adjusting his camera. „not to be nosey..but did i hear that right? You need a place to live or something?“ you looked at his side profile, explaining your current situation. „Alright, so about that..“ he interrupts, glancing between you and photographer. „A friend of mine has a spare room going in his apartment. He’s actually already looking for a new roommate, but that could be postponed. If you want to I could call him up and ask if it would be okay for you to stay there?” - „wait.. deadass?“ you ask, his generous offer shocking you. „well, I mean only if you want to?“  He looked down to observe your reaction. „I- yeah..- i mean your friend won’t murder me right?“ you joke, looking up and into his warm. He’s the first to break the eye contact, glancing at the cameraman again. „He’s one of the nicest guys I know out there…“ he assures with a small smile present. „He is so fucking nice, wouldn’t even kill a fly…“ his words of comfort continue. „Well, then yes, please I am totally willing to take you up on that offer“ is your enthusiastic response, his full attention back on you & a genuine smile decorating the handsome features. „Alright...I will ask him after the shoot is over then..“ - „Thank you so much!… it really means a lot -...umm?“ you begin, hopeful of catching his name „Oh shit yeah, guess I never introduced myself right?“ the man realised. „..My name is Jeff“ he said, reaching out for your hand „Yeah right“ you chuckle, not about to fall for his joke. „No, really..“ the smirk is back on his face. „Oh, so you are an undercover police officer just like me?“ you whisper, hoping he might catch the 21 Jumpstreet reference. „damn..“ he mutters while searching in his back pocket „this fuckin’ movie really ruined my life..“ his hand emerges with a wallet, the ID in it soon handed to you. „Jeffery Wittek..“ you read aloud „the one and only..“ he confirms still smiling softly at you.

After the shoot was over Jeff called up his friend, confirming it would be alright if you stayed with him. The very next day he helped you take all of your stuff over to his friend’s apartment.

In the weeks that followed, the two of you grew inevitably close. Although both busy with work & other responsibilities on some days, you still managed to spend at least a few hours each day together.

Sometimes he just checked in on you, making sure to ask if everything was alright. On other occasions, he visited his friend and stayed the whole day to do nothing but spending time together.

You showed him pictures of places you have been to, in return, he would share his childhood memories. You even told him about your plans for the future, while Jeff opened up about his past. It became your favourite pass time to make jokes about his inability to read properly, to which he would only tease about your short height.

Throughout your stay, the pair of you talked almost every night, about everything, just because it came so easily between you two. Always enjoying every second of valuable time together, not wanting it to end.

One of those nights, you finally built enough courage to admit that you were moving out of the country to live in Italy with your boyfriend. In reply, Jeff confessed his plans to move out to LA cause he met a girl.

Your friendship started innocently. Neither of you would have thought that it could ever build into such an intense and deep connection within the short amount of time. You were strangers only days ago, now openly sharing secrets usually too afraid to tell even the closest of friends. Maybe it was because both of you understood the reflected lack of ulterior motives in honesty. After all, you made sure to just keep things friendly, flirting carefully avoided. Or because you knew both of you were leaving, that alone reason enough not be dishonest with each other. Whatever it was, it started to become a little dangerous with time, you all too aware that the two of you were playing with the fire.

Time continued to pass, you could feel yourself begin to like the familiar boy more and more. Your heart would beat faster any time you saw him, breathing stopping for a second every time his skin touched yours. It continued on: you would get lost in his beautiful eyes whenever he looked at you, asking yourself if he could feel the same way you were. If there could ever be more. You did your best to stop those thoughts immediately, reminding your mind how you were about to leave the country for your boyfriend, whom you loved and didn’t want to betray. Besides, Jeff started to see that girl.

One night, Jeff's friend decided to hold a little get together with some of his friends, your stay in the apartment effectively forcing you to take part. Everyone had their fun, all chatting & playing drinking games on a cheerful night.

After a while, some of you somehow ended up on the rooftop of the building. Most of the people out there just wanting to get a bit of fresh air or have a cigarette, but you went up solely to enjoy the view. You loved going up to the roof just to see the shining lights of the city that doesn’t sleep.

„So your stay here is coming to an end huh?“ Jeff was the one to interrupt your admiring, walking up to you, while you looked out to the lights. You nodded „yeah“ the word spat out sadly before taking another sip of your drink. „I never thought three weeks could be over with so quickly..“ his words carried a sad undertone. „Me neither..“ you acknowledged, „i think i did and saw more in those three weeks with you than ever before“ he chuckled at the true words. „yeah.. we experienced quite a lot of New York together“ he made sure to exaggerate with his accent, sight remaining locked on you.

When you finally looked up at him, you couldn’t help but tease „So.. Is the tough Wittek gonna miss me?“ you asked jokingly while running your hand through his wind tousled hair. „Of course i will.“ he admitted. „Haven’t had so much fun in a long time..“. A smile sneaked its way across your face „oh your gonna have fun again when you are reunited with your special lady.“ you rebutted, oblivious to how his smile faded a little. Of course he would have fun again he thought. But the girl he was seeing right now wasn’t you. She was funny, but her humour couldn’t compare to yours. She was beautiful but she didn’t have those cute little dimples, which only showed when you laughed aloud. She had a promising career in front of her, but she just wasn’t you. „I guess…“ he eventually replied, still deep in thought about the girl who couldn’t compare.

You took another sip of your drink and gazed away into the distance before finally glancing at the man who had your heart.  „I think you- ..you have a little eyelash on your cheek“ Jeff said, abandoning his drink in favour of stepping a little closer and moving his hands up to your face.

One of them rested gently on your cheek, to give your head some balance as he titled it upwards, the other grazing right under your eye to get the fallen lash. His fingers lightly brushed over your skin, grasp so gentle on your face as if it was something precious. As if it could break if he put too much pressure on your little cheek. It was the very first time you really let yourself look him in the eyes tonight. Not that you haven’t looked into the brown pools before, but this time, in the light of the city, just inches away from your face, you really saw the artistic strokes of the different shades of brown melting together. You saw how the dark parts covered up the few light spots,  saw his kindness and how much he truly cared about you, all by simply looking into his beautiful brown eyes.

His hand stayed on your cheek, despite the lash being long gone. You breathed out audibly, lost in the present moment. The scent of his cologne travelling up and into your nose in the proximity you two shared right now. „we should-..probably get back to the party…“ he whispers slowly, involuntarily glancing at your lips while his palm moved from its hold on your cheek to the back of your neck. „mhmm“ you could only hum lightly in response, feeling your heart starting to beat faster, slowly rising to your tippy toes. Your face is slowly inching closer to his &  then you can feel his breath on your lips, eyes starting to close on their own accord, the two of you so close and right before your lips could touch - „Paarty time!“ one of Jeff's friend accidentally interrupts, tipsy shouting entering the rooftop. The two of you pull back immediately, not wanting him or anyone else to witness the kiss you almost shared. The friend walks obliviously towards Jeff. „man we thought you’ve left already!“ his word stuttered drunkenly. „No, I wouldn’t have left without saying goodbye“ he chuckles away as if  the moment you two just had never happened.

You had three more days in New York after that slip up before you finally left for Europe. Neither Jeff nor you mentioned the moment you two had together. After that night, and after you both finally sobered up, you convinced yourself that Jeff was too drunk to even remember what could have happened. His own thoughts were similar. Both of you far too scared to say something and ruin the time left. You were too embarrassed because Jeff had already started to date that girl he thought he liked, not to forget you were in a relationship with a boy you thought you were in love with . Both too cowardly to admit that there is indeed a spark there.

As your last day has come Jeff and his friend escorted you to the airport. „Man it will be so weird not having you around anymore y/n“ Jeffs friend said while driving through New York traffic. You looked out of the window in the backseat of the car. „I’m really gonna miss this..“ you stated, now slyly looking at Jeff, sitting in the passenger seat without returning your longing glances. In reality, what you would really miss..is him. You would miss his high pitched laugh, dark sense of humour and dry jokes, his warm and caring hugs and especially, his presence in your life. Not knowing if you would ever see him again or if you will ever come back to America again.

Jeff and his friend lead you to your gate, saying their goodbyes, promising to visit you in Italy someday, assuring that you’ll always be welcome if you decide to return. You hugged your new friend, who allowed you to stay in his apartment so graciously  before looking up at Jeff. „Come here..“ he says, opening his arms for your embrace. Your arms wrapped around his waist, his head resting atop of yours. You breathed in heavily, trying to hold back the inevitable tears. He stroked your back in comfort „I’m really gonna  miss you y/n/n..“ he conceded in a whisper. „me too..“ you admitted as well. „Promise me we will see each other again?“ Jeff asked, now looking down at you, while your own gaze travelled up to his eyes. You smiled sadly „I promise..“ you nodded with watery eyes. He hugged you again, saying your last goodbyes before you left to get your flight.

~

Jeff’s hair was slightly wet from the rain outside, a similar expression of shock on his face.„wow..uh, what?“ you let out, first to break the silence between you. „wow…“ he repeated dumbfounded. His hands were still resting holding onto your upper arms before he eventually raised them to his head in an act of disbelief. He shook his head, not sure if this was really happening right now, if it was really you in front of him. „I-„ you started again, but before you could keep talking he quickly forced you into a tight embrace.

His hands went back to your shoulders, still unsure if it was really you „This is insane..“  He muttered eventually, „it is..“ you confirmed. „How long has it been?“ Jeff was quick to ask while you still struggled to grasp the situation. „Almost 6 years..“ you uttered lightly.

„How’s Vince?“ he couldn’t help but ask with interest. „Oh...we uh, we broke up a while ago..“ you admitted, remembering your days in Italy. „oh I’m so sorry.“ the reply was sympathetic. „Yeah..how is Cierra?“ you asked in return, curious about the girl he started to see when you guys just met. Jeff glanced over into the living room, suddenly aware of all who were witnessing your reunion. „we also broke up a while ago..“. The information delivered with no emotions. You nodded lightly, unsure on how exactly to react or respond.

You checked your phone to look at what time it was, „I should probably go now..“ you mentioned, breaking the short moment of silence between you two. „Yeah..“ Jeff nodded, freeing your way to the exit. As made your very first step towards the door he stopped you by saying „Listen, before you go, can i get your num-“ before he could even end his sentence you interrupted „-just ask Natalie for it“ you informed him, „‚cause if you won’t, i’ll promise you that i will..“ you stepped closer to the door while teasing. „I’m not gonna lose touch with you again Wittek..“ you reveal and he chuckles.

Just when you were reaching for the front door again Jeff stopped you „y/n..“ you turn to look back at him, seeing that his stretched out hand held an umbrella „Here, take this..“ he demands softly „S’shitty weather out there..“ he adds with a little knowing smirk.

[hysteriium]

Ledger!Joker x JP!Joker headcanons 👀 ??

(Edit isn’t mine, made by Anarchy Graphics! They have really cool edits you should check them out!)

(A/n): 👀 HEY THERE DEAR ANON! Your wish is my command ;)) sorry I kinda added some smut hope that’s okie! HEHEH also @pennyship​ and I are writing a massive fucking one-shot about the duo! We’re thinking of turning this into a series if anyone’s interested?

Pairing: JP! Joker x reader x Heath!Joker

Warnings: NSFW, BDSM themes, swearing.

////

Together

Okay first things first, they will have a hard time ‘sharing’ you. They’re both really assertive characters and their personalities would for sure clash. 

They’re very competitive. 

What’s probably even weirder is how they resolve their arguments. If you expect them to sit down and shake it out b o i you’re dead wrong.

Honestly, if you catch them in the middle of doing some stupid shit, don’t be surprised.

More often than not, you feel like the mediator between them. You kind of keep them balanced – stop them from going overboard, though admittedly, it’s rare when they reach such a point. 

Their unspoken contest keeps them on their toes and that’s just how they like it.  

They also really appreciate how you spare them the psychoanalysis – they get enough of it when they’re thrown into Arkham and treated like odd spectacles. 

They’re really possessive/protective. If someone even so much as thinks of threatening you, or, even more idiotic, makes it known they ARE, best believe they’re bringing out the big guns. They’ll rain hellfire upon them. This is perhaps the only time where the dynamic duo can work together. 

NSFW

A lot of the times they take their frustration out in other activities. If something doesn’t go as ‘planned,’ you’re gonna have a hard time walking tomorrow.  

(Coming back to their ‘rivalry’), they’ll leave hickeys on your neck – VISIBLE ONES MIGHT I ADD – just so the other can see. This often leads to more hickeys from the other. 

Threesomes. Sorry, not sorry. (Will go into detail in an upcoming fic hehe). 

Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker

This. Man. Is. Touch-starved. 

You heard me, folks. He loves touching you. This isn’t exclusive to sex either, honestly, he’s happy with even the smallest displays of affection. 

He’s also much kinder than Heath’s Joker AND WHAT I MEAN BY THAT is that he’s more open with his affections (see Heath’s section for deetz). 

Loves loves loves your smile and your laugh! Every time he snatches a laugh roused by one of his puns or jokes, he’s ecstatic! “You should laugh more,” “you have a pretty smile.” His compliments aren’t always worded the greatest, but you know he means well, his sincerity shining through. 

Coupled with the soft smile which almost always follows your joy, it’s enough on its own to convey his thoughts. 

The man is incredibly playful and is a relentless flirt. He doesn’t CARE who’s around, he will make it known what nasty things he’s thinking about AND what nasty things he wants to do to you. If it wasn’t for your own protests which are occasionally worn down, he’d take you in front of others. He literally does not care.

Example: when you least expect it, you’ll feel a firm slap against your ass, or sometimes less overt, a grab. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who it is. 

To reiterate, he absolutely has no shame. 

Arthur is big on aftercare. He’ll make sure you know how much he loves you. He gets really attached, and his actions communicate this more than his words. Aftercare manifests itself in many forms: cuddling, bubble baths, making sure he hasn’t harmed you in any way, offering sweets.

Nicknames

“Angel.”

“Darling.”

“Doll.” (Heath’s Joker also uses this). 

“Sugar.” He often uses this when he’s mad, for example, “okay, listen, sugar.”

“Sweetheart.”

NSFW

Depending on how Arthur’s feeling, funky time can either be really rough or, if he’s feeling a lil extra sentimental, very you-oriented. 

He’s a passionate man and seeing how his touch leads to your unravelling is truly one of the highlights for him. 

Above all, Arthur’s favourite thing is hearing the way his name spills from your lips – feeling the way you cling onto him as he plunges into you. Your expression of euphoria’s something that’s etched into his brain, like fine glass.   

An added bonus for him is thinking about how antsy your loud moans make Heath’s Joker. 

Gunplay → Arthur’s slender fingers indent your thighs as he spreads them apart, a sudden metallic chill brushing up against the flesh. Prodding at your entrance with the barrel and slowly pushing in, his slow teasing thrusts morph into a steady pace when you’re practically pleading him to let you cum. 

Orgasm Denial → Arthur, being the mischievous boi he is, will damn well make sure he drags everything out. He loves to hear you beg, every time you do it fills him with swirling bursts of pride. 

Body worship → sort of ties in with orgasm denial. Arthur will take his sweet ass time caressing your skin, planting kisses against your stomach – against your hips. Honestly anywhere he has access to he will make it known how much he appreciates your body. This can sometimes appear during sex – he’ll slow his pace and utter sweet whispers of praise against you, rendering you even more of a flustered mess.

Hair pulling → works both ways. This would mainly be exhibited during oral than anything else. If he’s going down on you and your trembling fingers jerk his green curls, the vibrations of his moans would tip you over the edge. 

He’s more flexible than Heath’s Joker, meaning if you want to top, he’ll let you do so, though he still maintains a cocky air. Giving you one of his killer smirks, his eyebrows flicking in amusement, he’ll relinquish his hold on your hips and recline back into the couch. The way he leans back and places his hands behind his head screams ‘go ahead,’ ‘impress me.’ You always do.

Heath Ledger’s Joker

Will do shit just to spite Arthur; this isn’t because he has a personal vendetta against him, it’s just because of the person he is (a little shit).

Takes a bit longer to open up than Arthur, emotionally. He’s very closed off and is used to his little bubble. It takes patience but eventually you’ll get there.

Acts like the biggest hardass → he likes to portray there’s nothing more to his image other than the ‘agent of chaos,’ but you come to realise this is definitely not the case. 

In the dead of night, when he returns from whatever havoc he’s stirred, he crawls into your bed and pulls you against him, arms embracing you loosely.

This is when he’s at his most affectionate. His exhaustion most likely adds to those falling walls. 

Most of the time he thinks you’re asleep when this occurs but, spoiler, you’re not; the gentle upturn of your lips the only indication of such. You don’t think you’d ever give the fact away either, fearful of him receding back into his shell to the point where affection is null. Either way, you’re happy with him.

By the morning, he’s gone, already making plans (or executing them).

He seldom shows you his actual face, behind all the makeup. In all honesty, you don’t know the reasoning behind this, and you don’t think you ever will. While he’s blunt, he’s just as secretive; there’s always something going on in the back of his mind. 

Perhaps it’s insecurity, discomfort, or, more simply, the ‘persona’ of ‘Joker’ is just what resonates with him. The man underneath is someone he no longer identifies with. The man he’s become – who he’s worked so hard to manifest – is his true self. 

NSFW

Okay but he’s a very sexual guy, not even gonna lie.

ALSO HAS NO EMBARRASSMENT. When it comes to sex, this man’s just as open about it as Arthur. 

Hair pulling kink → this goes without saying. Unlike Arthur, this kink is one-sided, and he most definitely is the one doing the pulling. Those large hands will lose themselves within your strands and if you’re giving him head, he’s most likely going to guide you by said strands. 

Glove kink → he’ll set you on his lap, your back against his chest as his hands hold your wriggling thighs. With your breath hitching in anticipation, one of his gloved hands will slip down your inner thigh, rubbing slow circles against your clit. He tries his best to be patient but lets be honest, he has a really short fuse when it comes to sex; he’ll be dipping one – two – and if he’s feeling particularly torturous – three fingers inside of you before you know it, curling his fingers.

Praise kink → not particularly what you’d expect. He’s also very big into humiliation and mockery, so this kind of ties in with the two. For example, if you do something he’s pleased with, he’ll throw around teasing/sarcastic nicknames like there’s no tomorrow:

“Bunny.”

“Buttercup.” 

“Button.”

“Doll.”  

“Good girl.”

“Princess.” 

“Pumpkin.” 

“Sweetheart.”

Loves your brattiness, literally lives for it. He’s always been drawn to a bit of fire – it keeps things interesting. 

Has a thing for emotions – for your expressions, both micro and macro. The main three: fear, pain, pleasure. 

He’s very erratic. So, when he is praising you, he may tug at your hair the next, choke you or, if he deems necessary, spank you. 

Your squeaks of pain get him off – the motherfucker’s sadistic.

Goes through topdrop, and you’d most certain go through subdrop. He’s so used to control and regaining it when lost, in both an everyday context and a sexual one. So, once those feelings develop into something more (which you’ll have trouble differentiating, or sometimes picking up on at all), he’ll become more reserved, no longer displaying his usual vigour until this issue is sorted. (More details in a future drabble/fic). 

[luninosity]

fanfic writers tag game!

I was tagged by the marvelous @musette22 for this lovely fanfiction tag game that was devised by the clearly very brilliant @thewaythatwerust, to discuss some of the fics I’ve written over time! Thanks so much! 💖

Let’s see, I shall tag... @thebestpersonherelovesbucky @turtletotem @gerec @whtaft and @ninemoons42 <3

Which of your fics…

* Did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got:

Ah, a tricky one! I feel like I never really have expectations - I just write words because I can’t not! But maybe lines of light, which was my Steve/Bucky Fake Character Death Trope fic - it’s sort of a weird little fic, but I wanted more of that trope, but maybe that’s just me!

* Got a better reaction than you expected:

Oh, goodness - just about all of them! I remember being so shy and so nervous to share any of my writing, years ago, and now I write things that people seem to like...I think probably never mind the why and wherefore surprised me most, though! That’s my TJ Hammond/Johnny Storm fic, and when I started writing it mine was literally the third fic on AO3 for that pairing, and for that small a fandom, I’ve just been amazed.

Also, of course: I’m constantly amazed by how much people love Like Sugar! It was the biggest thing I’d ever tried to write, and it made me a better writer along the way, and I suspect it’s the Evanstan fic/series people might remember most, from my fics? (Also also, if original-fic-inspired-by-an-Evanstan-drabble counts: the love for Character Bleed has been overwhelming!)

* Is your funniest:

...am I funny? I don’t know! *waves hands about* I feel like I never set out to “write something funny,” but then again I like terrible puns and wordplay, so there’re probably funny lines in most fics? I hope?

Honestly maybe every inch of north and south, which has the Chris-turned-into-a-puppy plot, or Now That I’ve Found You, Stay, because giant patriotic dildos, or some of the banter in just a couple lovebirds, because I love Chris and Seb in that one. Or some of Bucky’s pulp fiction stories in tales to astonish. Or all the TERRIBLE autumn-related puns in the current Evanstan fic, A Place Not Far Away!

Or we could go REAL old-school and pull out the McFassy semi-crack fic in which James gets magically cursed to turn into a kitten. There’s that.

* Is your darkest/angstiest:

Ahahahaha. Um. *stares in Characters Having Emotions*

Okay, okay, um... Aside from certain specific chapters of Like Sugar and Amateur Cartography, it’s either The Tones That Tremble Down Your Spine (Bucky needs all the softness, after this! of course so does Steve...) (sometimes I think about adding a chapter, because it ends a little abruptly, but I also wanted it to - not everything’s 100% resolved, but it’s clearly on a healing trajectory!) ...

...or, over in Cherik-land, I hope we rise to the occasion, which does have a hopeful ending but is painful, or the balancing act stories (also Cherik) which were...personal in many ways (also originally written over on Livejournal, because I’m old).

* Is your absolute favourite:

Impossible! *laughs* It’s always the current story I’m (actively) writing. Which at the moment is the Evanstan autumn fluff-with-porn A Place Not Far Away. I don’t know if it’s my favorite-favorite, but it’s nice to get back to Evanstan and I love fall.

* Is your least favourite:

Also impossible! There’re things I love about all my stories. If I have to...maybe It’s Time To Bring This Ship Into The Shore, mostly because Michael’s such a dick to James for a lot of it. Which is also true in Loving Days (why was that a plot point in a few of my McFassy fics?) but I think I did a better job with his redemption in that one, and showing how much he changed and tried harder. And with Ship & Shore I wasn’t super-knowledgeable about the soul-bond trope (it was a request-fic) so I never felt quite sure I’d done it well enough!

* Was the easiest to write:

Amusingly, considering how epic and glorious and long the whole series became, I’d say Like O, Like H - the first Like Sugar Evanstan story. It just flowed. It knew what it wanted to be, and I tried to keep up. (Lovebirds was also one of those, as was the TJ/Johnny fic, never mind the why and wherefore.)

* Was the hardest to write:

the sound of rain on tin. It’s been the fic I’ve had the hardest time with ever. It’s my own fault for trying to do too much in terms of plot - sort of AU, an Evanstan-Stucky crossover, Lovecraftian elements - and then starting to post before I had it all properly sorted. I do know how it ends in general terms, I promise! but resolving plot/action has never been one of my strengths, and we’ve hit the point where I actually have to figure out How To Fix The Magic Portal-Thing, and I don’t feel like I’ve got it worked out well enough.

I mean if you all just want me to write the emotional Sebastian talking to Steve Rogers (and maybe a little curious kissing) and Chris talking to Bucky, and then *poof* suddenly Seb and Bucky are back in their respective universes and we get Emotional Reconciliation Scenes and Love Confessions, that part’s easy. I’ve had stray bits of those scenes done for years.

* Have you re-read the most:

Like Sugar, in part for continuity as I worked on later stories and in part because I’m really kind of proud of it.

* Would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time:

Depends on what genres they like! I’m probably best known for - if anything - Like Sugar, and I think it’s pretty representative of my writing in terms of loving tender kink-with-emotions! But the person would have to not mind Evanstan RPF and soft Dom/sub kink and arranged (sort of) marriage tropes.

Other than that, for Evanstan, maybe Sweet Disposition (the third version of the clothes-sharing fic!); or (baby won’t you please), which is the Chris And Seb Go To A Sex Club For Research For a Role fic, or tempt me, tease me, which is...Sebastian leaves an unsatisfactory date with someone else (brief and random) to go pick Chris up from a bar, and then there’re lots of revelations about Feelings, and also porn-with-emotions. Those last two ‘feel’ similar in my head for some reason - mood, maybe, or story arcs about revelation and discovery.

...for Stucky, maybe when and where our eyes meet (Bucky falling asleep! soft blankets!)...or tales to astonish, because it’s such fun!

...if you want to go a bit older, I have weird affection for my first-ever Cherik fic, Know That It’s True, which is a Cerebro hurt/comfort fic, and then I love the slow development of the McFassy in No Wonder, No Wonder, which I occasionally still think about trying to revise as original, but it’s so character-driven that it’d be hard, but I love the feel of it, the hints of magic and the setting...

* Are you most proud of:

Like Sugar! At the time it was the biggest story I’d ever tried to write, both in terms of length and in terms of world-building and planning and characters growing closer together. Character Bleed got more complicated in terms of needing multiple outlines and plot, eventually, but I couldn’t’ve done that if I hadn’t done Like Sugar first.

* Has your favourite line/exchange/paragraph (share it):

Too hard to pick! There are so many! 

I sometimes say it’s this one, from tempt me, tease me, though not always:

“If you’d like,” Sebastian offers, “we can even tell them I borrowed your key and lost it, if you don’t mind asserting small untruths to hotel personnel.” Big blue half-plastered Captain America eyes stare at him some more. “…Chris?” “You…” One hand waves, a partial gesture, pulled back at the last second. As if Chris has meant to reach out, and thought better of that. “You really would? You wouldn’t, y’know, mind?” Sebastian half-smiles. Thinks of cars with broken-glass windows in Romanian capital-city streets, thinks of students waving flags and cheering with feral glee, thinks of saucer-eyed childhood memories and songs of revolutionary fervor and desperate upheavals of optimism like birthing-pains. Chris Evans is beautiful and genuine and real, and Sebastian would do far worse things, would splinter his body and perjure his soul, to give Chris one more day in which to eat pizza and laugh and clap friends on the shoulder with a broad happy hand. “No,” he says, “I wouldn’t mind.”

Or, from the WIP - the next chapter of A Place Not Far Away - because my favorite is often what I’m currently working on, there’s this! Enjoy? <3

They both watch Sebastian for a second; he’s nodding, jotting down a quote, hair bouncing with the motion. His fingers are quick and tanned, gathering notes; his jacket’s casually open, and dirt’s left a scuff on his right boot.

 He’s a New York City reporter in a black leather jacket and a stylish sweater, but he’s also a reporter who doesn’t mind getting dirty and will run through a corn maze and helped set out signs the first day Chris ever met him.

 Carly pats Chris’s shoulder, says, “Enjoy yourself,” and heads off to supervise some historical blacksmith demonstrations. The sky shimmers in clouds and satin and magic and unfallen rain.

 Sebastian bounces back over. “That’ll be fantastic, she was so excited, she’s already thinking about next year, which is so perfect for a pull quote, and it’ll get people thinking ahead about coming here then!”

 Would you come back, Chris doesn’t say. Would you come back next year, next month, next week, even if your story’s done? Would you stay and not leave?

 He can’t ask that. This is Sebastian’s job.

 He says, “That’s awesome. You want lunch?”

 “Absolutely. I haven’t eaten my way through your menu yet. Recommendations?”

 “Classic Oktoberfest? The whole German sausage, potato, onion thing? That one’s popular. And, um, baked apples. In maple cream sauce.” Food. He can talk about food. Promoting their menu. Not getting down on both knees and promising to bring home every pumpkin Sebastian likes, if that’ll make those happy eyes stay at his side.

 “Sounds good.” Sebastian’s eyebrows go up, beckoning Chris into the joke. “And I do like sausage.”

 “I like your sausage,” Chris tells him, and Sebastian’s laugh is a splash of sunshine through clouds and cold and tree-branches that stretch to the sky.

[werevulvi]

Do you consider yourself not feminine anymore? If i recall correctly you used to wear makeup, feminine clothes and presented androgynous?

I've been meaning to make a post about this, but just didn't get around to it. So prepare yourself for a long answer, because there's a lot behind my change of style. During this past year or so, I went back and forth between feminine/androgynous and masculine presentation a lot. This was partly to figure myself out, and partly just going with the flow. And what I discovered from that was that despite I really love the feminine look aesthetically... it makes me uncomfortable to actually wear it. Like I get super tense and on hypervigilance.

Basically, I don't think I ever enjoyed being feminine as much as I thought. I think I've used it to suppress my masculinity over shame for it. Also, being male-passing makes being feminine quite a social challenge and I no longer feel it's worth it to catch so much attention for self-expression, when it's so much more beneficial to just let people get to know me by talking to me instead. Additionally to that: I hate being sexualised and infantalised for looking/acting feminine. That is a side effect which I absolutely abhor, and it also kinda triggers me.

Aside from style, I looked into my feminine qualities as a person, as you're right: I used to always consider myself feminine and androgynous. However, what I later on discovered was that most of my "feminine qualities" or traits, are not healthy. For example: I've always leaned submissive and passive in any social interactions. Not just sexually, but like just talking to people. I'd never take the lead, never initiate contact, and I still struggle to be assertive. This isn't "just my personality" as I used to think, but actually me being afraid of being berated for how I am. I always hated being called feminine by others, especially by people who know/knew me, and I think this is why.

Another example is my body language/mannerisms. In that I've always kept my legs closed and kept my arms close to my body. Basically I curl up into a little ball a lot, and yes I always have, ever since early childhood. This, I thought was also something innate about me as a person, but later on discovered is actually a defense mechanism, an attempt to protect my body from harm (from other people) as well as from the elements like coldness and rain/snow.

Knowing that, my idea of myself as feminine started to come apart. I had learned to be feminine. From female socialisation and from my trauma, and I think probably from my autism (sensory stuff) as well. Since then I've started to dare spreading myself out a bit more, and working on being more assertive (not talking over people or being aggressive or anything like that though, just standing up for myself and being more firm with what's important to me, boundaries and values, while still remaining empathetic and kind.) And I've noticed it's making me feel a lot better about myself! Much more relaxed, confident and trusting myself better.

And then it strikes me: why are these, much more healthy traits, considered masculine?

When it comes to more external stuff like clothes and makeup: I stopped wearing makeup, some 6 months or so ago (give or take, my memory is bad.) And it made me realise that I'm actually addicted to makeup. Like... I always knew I've had issues with being too dependent on makeup in the past, but never really saw myself as addicted to it. I've quit makeup before, some 10 or so years ago, but then went back to it, and it's just always a slipperly slope, no matter how careful I am about it.

What made it click for me was when I (last year, btw) started getting some outbreaks on my skin which annoyed me. So I decided "I'm just gonna put a little bit of concealer on it to cover up the worst." So I did that, but then thought "actually my cheeks look really red, so I'll just cover that up too" but I didn't stop there. I ended up adding so much concealer that half my face was covered in it. Then added foundation and powder. Then realised I need to bring back some colour in my now monotone face, so did contouring, added highlighter, blush and bronzer. Then did my eyebrows, added eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner and... I think you get the point.

This kept happening several times. Also when I wanted to just wear lipstick, I ended up also adding concealer, doing my eyebrows, dyeing my eyebrows, adding contour, etc.

I can't seem to JUST add a little bit of concealer on the "worst" spots without ending up covering and re-painting my whole face. And then after having done that... I feel like shit. Like I just wanna wipe it off because that's not my face, but I've just spent an hour on that makeup, so it would be a total waste to just wipe it off again. So I keep it on, despite having regretted it all. So eventually, when I got that first thought: "I'm just gonna put a little bit of concealer on it to cover up the worst" I stop myself and don't do it. Instead tell myself that my face is fine and no one's gonna care that I have two red pimples on my cheek. Maybe just put some zinc paste or aloe vera gel on it if it's irritated/sore, but no makeup.

As for just wearing wine red lipstick and nothing else on my face, which obviously doesn't cover anything up: the lipstick dries out my lips really a lot, and makes it difficult to eat and drink with. It stains on clothes and I have to be careful when scratching my beard/mustache, etc. That is not like a huge sacrifice, but it does make me tense. Also, people stare at me a lot when I do that, haha. "Why is that man wearing lipstick?" Oh I dunno Harry, you could ask. If people only knew my history. But I'm not saying I'd never do it again. I mostly just need a break from makeup altogether before I start considering only wearing lipstick in my favourite colour again, because doing that is obviously very different from wearing a full face of makeup. But I need to uhh... recover from my addiction first. I need to love my bare face first, I need to be able to not care what I look like.

Then as for clothing: Generally it's very similar. I think I subconsciously connect feminine clothing to "looking pretty" and masculine clothing to "looking plain/boring/mediocre" without consciously thinking that. But for this past year, that subconscious thinking changed, when I got really into men's classic clothing by watching youtube channels of very fashion-obsessed men. Like they talk about suits a lot, and details like neckties, pocket squares, matching socks, brocade shoes, how to get the best fit, what colours go with what, and so on.

I used to never care about suits, but now I'm kinda impressed by them, haha. Like they're simple, yet so complex. They're comfortable, yet so stylish, and they're timeless. I used to be kinda goth and think "normal" clothes were boring. But this changed me. I bought a cheap navy suit, and started craving wearing brown leathers instead of black. I discovered a whole, amazing world of men's fashion, and I fell in love with it.

What used to be "boring" has now become a rich world of amazing fabrics, cuts and styles. Twill, tweed, cuffs, collars, denim, flannel, leather, linen, suede, corduroy, oh my! And then I started loving the even much more simple look of dark blue cuffed jeans, flannel shirt, zippered hoodie, fleece jacket, brown leather belt, wrist watch with brown leather strap, and brown leather boots. It's super plain and mediocre, but the comfort and the shades of brown and blue really speaks to me. I love the look so much I ended up wearing it every day for over a month now, just changing flannels to always wear a clean one, and washing it all bi-weekly.

What is that, is it me?! Lol. Well, I love it. I think it's an important journey of self-discovery. Of finding comfort with myself and wearing clothes that move with my body, instead of forcing my body to move with my clothes. Of finding comfort with who I actually am as a person, instead of trying so hard to paint myself up as the inner mental image I have of my ideal self. I still hold onto that picture, but I also rather enjoy to focus on being clean and smelling good, being minimally groomed and comfortable - instead of looking fancy.

But also, dressing masculine helps with my dysphoria too. Being off testosterone, and wearing a lightly padded sports bra on occasion spikes my dysphoria (although it soothes something else within me) and dressing hyper-masculine helps calming that down.

Also, shaving my head back in November, and letting go of my long locks, because my hair has thinned out really a lot... made something else click in me as well: letting go of external beauty, in favour for letting the beauty within truly shine.

So what if I look like a burly hipster dude? Everyone gets unfairly judged for how we look. It's not even always about gender. But I've started to ask myself what's the point of trying super hard to "show my personality" in my style, when people are more likely to actually listen to what I tell them about myself when I'm dressed plain, instead of being too busy placing false assumptions on me?

I think I'm learning something very important about myself, and finding strength within myself, to just be me. And I never gave my masculinity the credit it deserved, because I believed my forced, unhealthy behaviours and misconceptions of masculinity as "boring" meant I was just feminine as a person. That's what the world taught me to think. But of course, I'm not denying that yes, I absolutely used to express myself very feminine, and I'm not gonna claim that I've always been hyper-masculine.

This is the first time in my life I'm truly enjoying masculinity and feeling liberated, strengthened and invigorated by it. The first time I do it to prove myself to only myself, that I don't need nor want to be feminine, and that's okay. That female masculinity is not being boring or sloppy. The first time that it's not to impress others as "man enough" as the insecure trans man I once was. And that matters a lot to me, even if it doesn't last into my 40's.

I might at some point again occasionally wear some lipstick, a long flowy skirt, or put flowers in my beard. But I need to fully indulge in my masculinity for now, and let it set me free from the chackles of forced feminisation that came with female socialisation, which I grew up with, like most women did. I am just so DONE with having those fucked female beauty standards shoved down my throat, which no, not even transitioning let me escape from. Because transitioning can't let me escape my own (brainwashed) mind. That's something I have to work on to break down piece by piece, and to rebuild myself, by hand.

I'm constantly evolving and learning more stuff about myself and the world, and I'm a sponge for such knowledge. I've never been afraid to take on change, especially drastic changes, and to challenge my own harmful behaviours (like my makeup addiction) as soon as I realise the harm is no longer worth the joy. I can't keep up with me either, but looking back on my life and seeing how much I've grown, is always quite exciting, haha.

However, I'm still wearing cutesy cotton panties with lace edges and a little bow at the upper front. I do that because it's femininity that's ONLY for me. It's actually comfortable, makes me smile whenever I go to the bathroom, and no one else can see it. So it cannot be sexualised or infantalised by other people, despite being such an intimate pieces of clothing, because only I get to see it. (Although of course an intimate partner and very close friends would see it, but that's gonna be people I trust a lot to begin with.)

[ottomanladies]

Can you tell more about Kösem political decisions? I mean, while she was regent. What she has done to the empire. ( Orders that we know, reforms, her conflicts and friendships with another politics of her time).

As Peirce said in The Imperial Harem, Kösem worked with the other statesmen during her regency for Murad IV:

... the younger Kösem of the early years of Murad IV's reign, attempting to work together with the grand vezir in the classic pattern of authority shared between the sovereign center and its "absolute deputy."

This can also be seen in her extensive correspondence with the Grand Vizier, the other cornerstone of power:

In one letter the valide sultan wrote. "You say that attention must be paid to provisions for the campaign. If it were up to me, it would have been taken care of long ago. There is no shortcoming on either my or my son's part." In another, she sends good news: "You wrote about the provisions. If I were able to, I would procure and dispatch them immediately. I am doing everything I can, my son likewise. God willing, it is intended that this Friday ten million aspers will be forwarded to Üsküdar, if all goes well. The rest of the provisions have been loaded onto ships." Bayram Pasha. the governor of Egypt and Kösem's son-in-law, wrote directly to the valide sultan on a number of issues, and she communicated the contents of the governor's letters to the grand vezir along with her own comments on these matters. Among the problems discussed cussed were delays in the provision of gunpowder, the troublesome situation in the Yemen, and shortfalls in the province's revenue (in 1625 Egypt sent only half of its normal revenue because of the ravages of a plague known in Egyptian annals as "the plague of Bayram Pasha"`). The extensive cooperation between grand vezir and valide sultan is suggested by Kösem Sultan's frank comment to the former: "You really give me a headache. But I give you an awful headache too. How many times have I asked myself. 'I wonder if he's getting sick of me'?' But what else can we do?" — Leslie P. Peirce, The Imperial Harem: Women and Sovereignty in the Ottoman Empire

It is interesting to note, however, that when Kösem started out as regent, it seemed that she had different expectations about her role:

It is clear from the request made by the grand vizier that during this period Kösem wanted to be with her underage son in the audience hall and listen to any requests made by dignitaries. She wanted to accompany the Sultan and at the same time hold the power in her own hands. The Grand Vizier stated in a very gentlemanly way that this desire was not in accordance with the law (kanûn): “My Lord and Ruler, what you are doing is against the law. Please don't even articulate it. After all, I am your faithful servant and I do not wish to be separated from you. — Özlem Kumrular, Kösem Sultan

Curiously, when she becomes regent to Mehmed IV, she'll be able to go to the audience hall. Famous is that episode in which she chastised both Grand Vizier and Şeyhülislam. Is it because at that point she was almost 60 and therefore could not be ordered around or had she hijacked the audience hall and just went there because she wanted to? I cannot answer to this question but in her second official regency she did sit down in the audience hall and listened behind a screen.

In sum, her partners in ruling the empire were the Grand Vizier and men tied to her through the damad link, mostly Lâdikli Bayrâm Paşa and Çatalcalı Hasan Paşa:

Murad may have felt circumscribed by the close relations between his mother and the grand vezirs of his early reign. During these years the government was managed in relative harmony, principally by the grand vezir and the valide sultan. None of these early grand vezirs was a damad, although one, Haftz Ahmed Pasha, was married to the princess Aye shortly after his dismissal missal from the post. In 1628 the sultan moved to sever the damad tie that linked Kösem to the admiral Çatalka Hasan Pasha. husband of her daughter Fatma. Angered by his mother's excessive patronage of Hasan Pasha, Murad had the marriage dissolved. Hasan Pasha had enjoyed the protection of the powerful chief black eunuch as well as that of the valide sultan. He had begun his career in the saddlery of the chief black eunuch's household, whence he passed into the sultan's service as it kitchen attendant and then head courier (çavuşbaşi). Murad's move against the otherwise successful admiral may have been the result of his growing desire to shake off the influence of his inner palace advisers and assert his control over prominent and powerful officials of the government. Kösem Sultan reportedly attempted to appease her son with it gift of elaborately outfitted horses and a banquet costing ten thousand aspers. — Leslie P. Peirce, The Imperial Harem: Women and Sovereignty in the Ottoman Empire

When Kösem's regency started, the Ottomans lost Baghdad to the Safavids. Numerous campaigns were organised to re-take the city but they were all unsuccessful until Murad IV himself re-conquered it in 1635. This meant that all the commanders sent to Baghdad were later dismissed because of their failure.

Moreover, Abaza Mehmed Paşa was still rebelling against the government over the assassination of Osman II. Although the culprits were either dead or not in power anymore, he refused to surrender and swear fealty to the sultan. Again, the Grand Vizier and other commanders were sent to capture him but they failed.

Adding to this, the Imperial treasury was almost empty because of the frequent successions between 1617-1623. This is because at every accession, the new sultan was supposed to buy an "accession donative" to the janissaries. The divan had decided not to pay it on Murad's accession - because it had been only months since Mustafa I's second accession to the throne - but Kösem didn't agree and instead had it paid. The viziers were not very happy with her decision LOL

And since when it rains it pours, in 1625 the plague broke out in Istanbul, killing roughly 140.000 people. In 1628, it was Murad himself who fell sick; Kösem feared for his life and it is said that he was bedridden roughly a year. The Venetian ambassador thought that he suffered from epilepsy.

Finally, in 1628 Abaza Mehmed Paşa was captured by the new Grand Vizier - and chief of the Janissaries - Boşnak Husrev Paşa, who was, therefore, tasked with recapturing Baghdad. The campaign was a disaster: the Ottoman army was defeated in September 1630 and Husrev Paşa was dismissed at the beginning of 1632. As his successor had been the same Hafiz Ahmed Paşa who had been a favourite of Kösem's (and who had in the meantime become a damad), the army rebelled.

The riots of 1632 were a very serious threat to Murad IV and Kösem as well. They both lost favourites and Murad IV was even threatened to be deposed for one of his younger brothers. At this point, Kösem relinquished the power to her son, who became sole ruler of the empire.

[nijiirorhyme]

NaruMitsu/WrightWorth Fic: Lights, Camera, Action!

Fandom: Ace Attorney

Ship: Mitsurugi Reiji | Miles Edgeworth/Naruhodou Ryuuichi | Phoenix Wright

Warnings: None

Tags:Alternate Universe - Actors, Other Additional Tags to be Added, More characters to be added

Description: Rookie actor Phoenix Wright can not believe his luck as he scores his first major acting role in one of the most anticipated movies of the year. But, what was better than starring in one of the most anticipated films of the year? Starring in one of the most anticipated films of this year with famous actor Miles Edgeworth.

A Wrightworth acting au where two dorks (eventually) fall in love!  

Chapter 1/?

Alternatively, it can be read here!

Text underneath cut!

Act 1 Scene 1

 October 5th, 11:00pm

 Phoenix’s Apartment

Phoenix COULD NOT believe his luck. It was as if lady luck herself were watching over him specifically, feeling so sorry for him that she had to throw him a bone. He could not thank her enough. It seemed as if his life were doing a complete turnabout. Up until now and ever since he had graduated from some third rate university’s performing arts program, he never had the pleasure of striking a role anywhere near being a part of the main cast, but this, this was different. Sure, he had made small cameos as extras in movies, but none of those were enough to give him the boost he needed to put his name on the map. This was the real deal. He would have lines to say, scenes to act, parts where he’d be the one in the limelight. He was just offered the biggest acting gig in his entire life.

‘Lady luck, I know I asked you for help last night,’ he thought to himself, ‘but you didn’t have to go this far for me!’

But, what was better than starring in one of the most anticipated films of the year? Starring in one of the most anticipated films of this year with someone who was currently the world's most famous actor. Miles Edgeworth, a man who the world knew nothing about personally, but that his acting was absolutely phenomenal. Everyone— even their mothers and grandmothers— knew of him, but, it wasn’t until Pearls dragged the man to see one of her cheesy, sappy romance movies starring the mysterious man himself that he finally saw what justified the hype around him.

Romance movies weren’t really Phoenix’s thing as he tended to sleep through most of them. What he could recall of the movie, however, was that the plot was pretty standard; the main female protagonist living her life in poverty while her male counterpart was born into a wealthy family. After the two miraculously begin to date, the couple struggles to find acceptance from the man’s family as they already had a fiance picked out for him. This was all quite cliche in Phoenix’s book, but there was one scene in particular that stuck out to him.

Failing to gain acceptance from the man’s family, the man and the woman impulsively run away together during an explosive argument that erupted between the four. Well, more-so drove away, but that was besides the point. The rain pelted down upon their car as they drove down the winding road as fast as they could, but that had been the man’s fatal mistake. As they came upon their final turn, the man lost control of the steering wheel and the speed they had garnered caused the car to topple over several times before it finally came to a stop. Somehow (though Phoenix thought this defied all odds), the man was fortunate enough to only receive injury to his right arm and was able to wiggle himself free from the car, however, his girlfriend was more than misfortunate. The adrenaline pumped through his blood as he ignored his arm’s cry in pain as he tried to wretch her free from the car. His hands were covered in her blood as he laid her on his lap, knowing the inevitable that she would succumb to her injuries before they were even able to call for help.

His eyes looked into hers, a mix of pain and regret swirling around in his dark orbs. He drove too fast, he should have taken his time, he was about to lose the love of his life— Her voice was enough to snap him out of his thoughts, the booming sound of the thunder almost deafening. She gave him her final words, and just like that, the final bit of life evident in her eyes finally fades and her body goes limp in his arms. The man looked up to the overclouded sky, the rain beating upon his face as he gave  the heavens one last dramatic scream of her name before the movie faded away into a pitch black.

Throughout the entire scene, all Phoenix could do was stare at the big screen. There was something mesmerizing about the way Miles Edgeworth acted. He analyzed the actor’s every move, even the subtle ones that would be invisible to those who didn’t graduate from a third-rate performance arts program, yet contributed an overarching mood to the entire scene. The way his face contorted and twisted and scrunched up in pain as he was filled with regret from his actions, the way his eyes looked into hers in desperation that this was all just a dream— that he wasn’t just about to lose the one he fought so hard alongside, it left a heavy feeling in Phoenix’s chest that almost burst forth from it in the form of tears. Miles Edgeworth brought life to a character from a movie genre Phoenix hated, and not only made him sympathize with the corny character, but almost made him tear up, which to this day he still could not believe.

Phoenix was never a fan of romance movies, especially the ones that Pearls picked out (though he never voiced his complaints aloud) because he thought he could feel his teeth rotting away in his mouth from the sheer sappiness and disgusting sweetness of them, but this one was the only one he approved of.

… Even though it was at the expense of his own friend’s enjoyment.

Phoenix sighed at the memory of what happened afterwards. Pearl was the type of hardcore romance fan who only gravitated towards romance movies where the couple lived happily ever after at the end. Why she chose this movie was beyond Phoenix. Perhaps she glossed over the summary of the story after selectively reading the part where the female protagonist goes from “rags-to-riches” and thought it was something along the lines of Cinderella, completely missing the “this tragic story of her attempt to go from rags-to-riches”... or something. She was so depressed that even Phoenix offering to watch her favourite lovey-dovey romance movie for the gazillionth time wouldn’t cheer her up.

From that point on, Miles Edgeworth swept up the nation’s awards that year for his acting in that movie, including the “Best Male Lead Actor of the Year” award at the Movie of Movies Grand Prix— and to Phoenix, rightfully so. The man’s performance was amazing, yet he couldn’t help wanting to pick a bone with the panel of judges who thought that it deserved “Best Movie of the Year”. He totally thought that the Steel Samurai movie deserved to win (not like he had a bias or anything because his friend Austin Powers starred in it); just because one actor’s acting was remarkable, did not mean that the rest of the movie lived up to such a word.

This was the man that Phoenix had the pleasure of working with and although a part of him was excited, an immense sense of pressure ruined it. Miles Edgeworth was a man who had years of experience under his belt in comparison to himself. That fact in itself was enough to make the butterflies in his stomach awake from their slumber; he hadn’t felt this nervous in ages.

Phoenix glanced at the thick booklet of papers in his hand titled "No Time for Turnabouts: Script”, its thick blocky text staring back at him. With an unsteady sigh, he flipped it open to the first page. If Phoenix wanted to impress Miles Edgeworth at tomorrow’s pre-production meeting, there was only one thing he could do. If he couldn’t rely on his acting skills to impress him, the least he could do was come prepared to what he was about to walk into.

 October 6th, 10:00am

Global Studios: Dressing Room

“For the last time, must I act with such an incompetent rookie?” Miles looked at his manager, eyes narrowed fiercely in an attempt to assert his dissatisfaction at the current situation. “He’s not had any starring roles within the span of his career,” is what a quick IMDb search of the other’s peculiar name told the man. “In fact, I’ve never heard of him before.”

The girl sitting adjacent from him brought a dainty teacup to her lips, taking a sip of her tea before placing it back on its saucer with a cold clink, the cunningness of her eyes colliding with his own, “And like I have told you when you foolishly asked several foolish times before this, it is not within my control,” she shrugged, her mouth curling into a shit-eating grin, “You’ll just have to suck it up, little brother.”

Miles scoffed, but she had a point. It wasn’t his manager, Franziska Von Karma, hiring the cast for this movie, it was the director. This director was someone who he had worked with in the past and every single time, Miles had loved every single creative direction he had taken with the movie; as did the audience, each movie of his being met with positive reviews from viewers and film critics alike. Miles did not doubt his abilities and because of his positive reputation within the film industry, if he wanted to hire a rookie whose career only consisted of being an extra for a few scenes in a few big movies, all he could do was put his faith in him. However, just because he put his faith in him did not mean he approved.

He took a sip of his own tea, before he glanced at the expensive watch adorning his wrist. Today was their first proofreading of the script. There, Miles could finally see who this Phoenix Wright man was.

“Come now, you fool, or we’ll be late.” Franziska was already rolling up her whip in a neat circle and heading towards the door.

Miles put his tea cup down on the glass coffee table, moving his hands to fix his jabot as he stood up. Miles Edgeworth was a man with high standards, and whoever this Phoenix Wright was, Miles hoped he could meet his expectations.

 October 6th, 10:00am

Global Studios

Phoenix’s days couldn’t have been getting any better. The rookie actor was known for never being on time for anything—often receiving a scolding from Maya as a result—but just this once, he had managed to be punctual— if not a little early— for the one thing that mattered the most. He thanked god that he had the foresight to check whether or not he had set his alarm for A.M instead of P.M before he went to bed last night. Phoenix checked himself in the mirror once before he left the house; donning a plain white dress shirt and navy blue slacks. He adjusted the tie around his neck, the last thing he wanted to do was make a bad impression. Giving himself one final hurrah, encouraging himself in the mirror with “you can do this”, and “you got this”, he left his small flat with his head held high.

However, at this point in time, the closer he got to the time of the pre-production meeting, the more nervous he felt. He stood outside the meeting room, checking his wristwatch as he shifted in place from the heels of his feet to the balls of them.

“Nick!” Behind him, a set of hands placed themselves on his shoulder as a familiar energetic voice spooked him out of his nervousness, causing him almost to jump out of his skin. “Are you nervous?”

Phoenix peered over his left shoulder, unsurprised at who it was. It was Maya, who decided to meet him at the studio. If Phoenix had to go in there alone when his agent was perfectly capable of accompanying him, he would curse her to hell and back.

He clutched his chest, heart beating rapidly in his ears. Then, he relaxed and exhaled an exasperated sigh as if this has happened one too many times, “You scared me, Maya!” He exclaimed. “How many times are you going to do this?”

Even if he used the fingers on both of his hands to count all of the times Maya has done this to him before an audition or anytime he was nervous for that matter, he couldn’t. Mainly because for one, he had been to several auditions in the past few years; and two, he didn’t keep track of how many times she did. He stopped counting after the fifth time when he knew it would become a regular occurence.

“Would it be bad if I said never?” Maya giggled.

Phoenix sighed again, “I figured as much…”

“I’m sorry, Nick! It’s just so funny every single time. Remember that time before that one audition when I scared you so bad you spilled your cup of water all over yourself and it looked like you peed your pants-“

Before Maya could say anymore, Phoenix covered her mouth with his hand, wrenching it back in disgust after he felt something wet against his palm. Maya stuck out her tongue and grinned  childishly as Phoenix furiously wiped his hand against his pant leg. He exhaled, “If I asked you to let that go, I’d get the same answer as before, wouldn’t I?” At this point, defeat would be the only option to settle for.

She put her hands together like she always did and with a big smile on her face, she nodded, “You know me so well.”

The two of them continued their friendly banter, most of which consisted of bringing up terribly embarrassing events that had happened to them in the past in an attempt to embarrass the other. This calmed Phoenix’s nerves immensely; Maya always knew how to calm him down despite always scaring him half out of his wits.

“Are you nervous?” She asked, shifting the topic of conversation to something more relevant than reminiscing on their past embarrassments.

The question was like a reality slap, reawakening the butterflies he had thought he thoroughly rid himself of. “Of course, this is my first time ever getting something better than being an extra. A lot is riding on this, Maya.”

“It’s okay Nick!” She jabbed him lightly in the shoulder… Whatever her definition of “lightly” was. Phoenix rubbed his shoulder. That was definitely going to bruise over. “Just remember this, this is your big chance! Your break-through! Your primer!”

“I think you mean ‘premiere’...”

“All eyes will be on you! If you do great, then you’ll get more work!” She encouraged him, jumping to stand in front of him. She closed one of her eyes while she formed her fingers into a rectangular shape as if she were filming him. Even though it wasn’t a real camera, he still felt a little embarrassed, his cheeks flushing a light shade of pink. While he appreciated the sentiment, he knew where this was going.

“But…” He added on for her.

“But, if you mess up in your usual ‘Phoenix Wright Fashion’, then you can kiss your non-existent acting career goodbye!” She said in a type of pure adolescent innocence, putting her hands on her hips.

Phoenix shoved his face into his palm, “Thanks Maya…”  

“Any time.” She beamed at him, genuinely convinced that her words were words of encouragement instead of ones that felt like he had been stabbed in the heart.

Suddenly, as if something had caught in the corner of her eye, she looked down the hallway. “Psst, Nick!! Nick!!” She ecstatically whispered in a half-whisper-half-regular tone. “Is that Miles Edgeworth?!”

Phoenix followed her line of vision to the figure emerging from one of the many rooms down the hall. He knew that burgundy suit from anywhere, the feature that many people recognized him for. There was no one else in the world who could wear a suit that colour and could successfully pull it off, in Phoenix’s humble opinion.

The tall man stalked down the hallway accompanied by a shorter woman which Phoenix assumed to be his agent, Franziska von Karma. Although they weren’t close yet, he could feel the immense pressure in the air from the dignified aura that the two created. There was something intimidating about their aura, an elitist air that clearly separated the two individuals who were experienced in their field from the two weren’t-- almost as if it screamed ‘don’t talk to us’. Was that how it was around every famous actor?

“T-They’re coming closer to us! What do we do, Nick? Do we introduce ourselves?” Maya panicked, the words flying from her mouth at a mile per minute.

“Well, we are standing in front of the meeting room and from today on, he is our co-worker,” Phoenix whispered back to her, his tone more hushed than hers. “I think… I think we should greet them.” He suggested.

The two nodded as if they had come to an understanding by looking into each other’s eyes. Then, on the mental count of three that perfectly aligned with their arrival, Phoenix stiffly began, “Hi! I see we’ll be working together, Mr. Edgeworth. In that case, i-it’s nice to meet you!” He stuck out a hand, hoping the man would outstretch his own to shake it.

The man came to a stop and instead of getting a comforting smile and the handshake he desired, all Phoenix got was a piercing glare full of annoyance. “Mr. Wright,” he scoffed. “I would ask that you keep your interactions with me at a minimum and you do not waste my time by trying to talk to me.” With that, Edgeworth strode past him into the now open meeting room, his agent following behind him, smirking at Phoenix as she entered.

After recovering from the utter shock known as his first impression of the famous actor he had only seen on the big screen thus far, Phoenix turned to Maya, hoping that she would confirm that what just happened was just his mind’s cruel idea of a joke. Unfortunately, Maya nodded at him, confirming that what just happened was in fact not a figment of his imagination. For some reason, the famous Miles Edgeworth disliked the unknown rookie, Phoenix Wright.

‘What…’ Phoenix gulped. ‘What did I do..?!’

[deadontheinsidebut]

@iamthepenguinwhosearseisonfire​

“Can I ask for a haikyuu male matchup.infj.ravenclaw with a tinge of slytherin.Really loyal with my friends but if they need there head to be straightened i wont hesitate to do so. i dont put up with anyone's bullshit either if some ones offensive i will call em out but other wise I am really kind and caring to the people around me.I can also handle a shitload of teasing cuz my friends are absolute worst but I love them to pieces so.I am in love with my subjects math and chemistry . Iam quite easy going and free spirited but if I feel like an odd one out I get really insecure Iam quite thicc and busty and often am insecure about it.also naturally tan and have short brown hair&eyes. I LOVE MUSIC. I play the piano & jam to aesthetic and indie songs i cant go a day without listening to music .I know how to bake too and love cooking. I love to paint&sketch. I mean I painted all my friends calculators cuz I was bored so.I also love photography and am the type of person who gets exicted when the sky changes into pretty colors or its about to rain and immediately takes pictures. I 💓 being aesthetic and practically committed on showing it through my fashion I m usually passive unless assertiveness is needed and thrive on independence.ILOVE little things that make me happy like watching a good tv show ,having a really good conversation with some one.LOVE TEA AND HOT CHOCOLATE WITH ALL MY HEART(unironically drink horlicks)rainy days are the best especially running around while it's raining .I really enjoy a day out with my good friends but i also really value my time alone to focus on myself.HUGS ARE MY THING OK CUDDLES I AM THERE.Iam big ass crackhead around the people I'm comfortable with.I am also a very easy person to make friends with because I try to be very understanding. I also make stupid ass puns which make people groan. I like to think I am funny and kind of sassy. According to my friends i give the best and impartial advice to those who ask. I am vaguely popular. I know a shit ton of people who are really good friends of mine but I really feel happy or enjoy hanging out with my four closest friends . I really want to travel and very goal oriented and I big ass perfectionist but wasn't aware about it till some one pointed it out. Also I am vv dark academi esque (but science vers instead of english lit.)“

a/n: hii!!! it took me a while to read through your request but I settled for someone who seems really compatible with the description you gave me. I hope you enjoy it :))))

I match you with... 

✨Oikawa Tooru✨

Your personality type is the advocate which means you’re gentle, caring, and creative. You’re idealistic and have high moral standards

Because of this, you are extremely supportive of Oikawa’s love for vball sand his desire to win

Your headstrong attitude works well with his up in the clouds ways because you always bring him back down to earth when it is most necessary

his ambition complements your goal-oriented self because you both are able to help each other achieve those goals and act as stepping stones for each other’s plans

since you’re good at math and chemistry, you two tend to have a lot of study dates with you usually scolding him for getting distracted and trying to cuddle with you

since he’s so cuddly with you, you won’t have to feel like you’re being left out 

he spends lots of time with you and tries to do the things you like 

he’ll cook with you and get competitive about it because he doesn’t want you to see him as inferior when it comes to such an “easy task” as he would initially say

he’s definitely not the best cook...

he’ll mess up and get the wrong proportions as well as put in the wrong ingredients

for someone who’s so ready-to-go on the court, he sure is a klutz in the kitchen

and it’s honestly worse when he’s baking because baking requires meticulous and stable measurements but Oikawa cannot do either 

he’ll make it up to you by taking you to the beach where the sunsets are the most prominent

you’ll want to take pictures and he’ll jokingly say that he is the view and you should be taking pictures of HIM

you’ll shoo him away and he’ll probably pout for a good 15 minutes before trying to get your attention with affection again

he’s the kind of person that will ask you to dance in the rain with him

his hair will be droopy and wet and his muscles will be defined through his soaked shirk (he knows what he’s doing) and he’ll reach for your hand as he twirls you towards him

after spending time in the cold rain, he’ll take you to a cafe to dry off which is where he’ll buy you a warm cup of tea

his favourite season is winter because he knows your weakness is hot chocolate and uses it as an excuse to bundle up in a blanket to cuddle

he’s sassy as hell so you know he’ll be able to keep up with your sassiness

since you’re fairly popular, you’ll understand that he has tons of fangirls and even teases him for it 

he gets embarrassed tho and promises to make up for the fan girls ruining your dates sometimes

you’re his rock

you keep him level-headed and sane

10/10 would be a relationship where you two can go to each other about anything and you’re the only one he can show his vulnerable side to 

[firisle]

15 Questions

Thank you @thesimmonarchy for tagging me!

1. Are you named after anyone? Okay so yes, all my three names are named after someone so buckle up.

Julia; My mother told me this story of how she had this girl a year above her when she was 16, and one day this Julia stood up to the school bully, and since then my mother had decided to name her future daughter (me) that, because not only did she think it was a beautiful name, but also she hoped her daughter would become this no-shit taking woman (unfortunately she got a no-shit giving daughter). Sofia; I think it’s some great grandmother on my mother’s side I never met, but nevertheless I’m named after her. Karolina; On my father’s side all first born (which had until me been boys) had Karl as a middle name. My aunt who birthed my cousin four months before me thought to give a female version of Karl to her, but it didn’t quite work with her first name, so my father chose it instead.

2.  When was the last time you cried? Today when I was watching TV and a commercial for a petstore came up where a dog wasn’t welcomed anywhere and he sat in the rain crying, but then in the last scene he broke loose from his leash and ran into the petstore where he was finally welcomed. I was very tired, and I always have close to tears.

3.  Do you have kids? NOOOO

4.  Do you use sarcasm a lot? No, not ever.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? Their smile definetly. Or if they have popped a zit recently (you know when there is this like a little dried up blood and everything is red and irritated ??)

6.  What’s your eye colour? Green, but wearing some colours makes it look gray/blue, but me wearing green ?? No doubt my peeping globes are green.

7.  Scary movie or happy ending? Happy ending all the time.

8.  Any special talent? Not to took my own horn, but I’m great at remembring things, which means I’m a plethora of cocktail facts, and like actually useful (and hilarious) history facts.

9.  What country were you born in? Sweden.

10.  What are your hobbies? I like gaming, writing, reading, crafting; almost all “creative” activities there are, but has anyone really developed into a hobby? I’m not sure. Watching documentaries about different historical events is pretty fun and I usually try to find some good ones to watch with the family after dinner (which is a near impossible task).

11.  Do you have any pets? Indeed, my old boy Darby who is a Golden Retriver and deadbeat father to about 32.

12.  What sports do you play/have you played? I’ve danced (stopped because I didn’t get the dancing school’s merch, I was a brat), ridden horses (stopped because the stables were far away and dad was terrified), played volleyball and came second twice in the national tournaments (fuck you Vallentuna), but now I do absolutely nothing. Tried to start agility with Darby, but he blantly refused to listen to me and wanted to rather assert himself amongst the other dogs because he’s an asshole.

13.  How tall are you? 176 cm, 177 on a good day.

14.  Favourite subject(s) in school? History, Art and German. My pictures are even still hung in the art room three years after I graduated from compulsory school (which I know thanks to my brother who now goes there and is very embarressed).

15.  Dream job? Definitely something with youth. Whether it be teaching, psychology or juvenile rehabilitation. Before I was very set on becoming a psychologist, but now I’m beginnign to doubt that a litte...

I will definitely not tag 15 people, but I’ll try to tag (and annoy) as many as possible):

@illuner @maren-emilie​ @amessofsims @cheesehair @de-ginesia

[gentlejack]

were i fit for another world, how gladly would i go there.

I am resolved not to let my life pass without some private memorial that I may hereafter read, perhaps with a smile.

FULL NAME: Anne Lister.

NICKNAME(S): Gentleman Jack / Jack The Lass ( read: “big old homo” ), Fred or Freddy to certain of her lovers.

AGE: 41

SPECIES: Lesbian (a species of its own?).

NATIONALITY: British.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: See: species. 

OCCUPATION: Landowner, world traveller, womaniser. 

FINANCIAL STANDING: Landed gentry.

FANDOM: Gentleman Jack. 

FACE CLAIM: Suranne Jones.

RELATIONSHIPS

PARENTS: Rebecca Battle & Jeremy Lister. 

SIBLINGS: Marian (younger sister and very much an annoyance in Anne’s eyes); four brothers - one older, three younger (all dead). 

SIGNIFICANT OTHER: Ann Walker (verse dependent). 

CLOSEST FRIENDS: Aunt Anne; Isabella Norcliffe - a former lover.

RIVALS: Society, an assortment of men daring to cross her path on a bad day, her sister (playfully). 

Love scorned to leave the ruin desolate; & Time & he have shaded it so sweetly, my heart still lingers in its old abiding place.

PHYSICAL TRAITS

EYE COLOUR(S): Dark brown.

HAIR COLOUR(S): Dark brown.

HEIGHT: 173 cm.

BODY BUILD: Athletic, strong, tall, upright posture.

NOTABLE PHYSICAL TRAITS: A dashing wardrobe, confident gait, and memorable facial features. 

SMELLS: Earth, fresh air, heavy wool, ink, slight whiff of eau de cologne. 

CLOTHES: Top hats, long skirts, silken cravats, waistcoats, fine button-up shirts, leather boots, billowing greatcoats, gloves. 

BODY LANGUAGE: Proud, active, fearless, energetic; she has brought Efficiently Butch-Stomping Whilst Shouldering Aside An Assortment Of Men to utter perfection. 

It was my journal that frightened people. She had made up her mind not to open her lips before me. 

PHOBIAS AND DISEASES

FEARS: Loneliness. Failure. Conformity. Captivity. Heartbreak. 

MENTAL ISSUES: Obsessive Tendencies. 

PHYSICAL DISORDERS: Endometriosis. 

PERSONALITY

USUAL MOOD/EXPRESSION: Carelessly self-assertive. 

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Neutral. 

HOGWARTS HOUSE: Ravenclaw. 

FIVE PROMINENT TRAITS: Passion, faith, seduction, knowledge, freedom. 

INTERESTS: Mountaineering, geology, meteorology, history, architecture, botany, neuroscience, classical literature, swordsmanship, medicine, anatomy, languages, politics, palaeontology, travelling, women. 

BAD HABITS: A certain tendency to brush aside the concerns of others; a sharp tongue & scathing sarcasm - she’s quick to say a hurtful thing or two, this one, quite lacking in delicacy or social etiquette. Money has a tendency to run through her fingers rather faster than she expected. Rumour has it she’s an opportunist, but one thing’s for certain: she values logic and strategy over the regard for others and keeps her heart well-shielded beneath an occasional armour of arrogance and grandeur. Beware of her fiery temper … and her whirlwind coach-driving, as it so happens. 

GOOD HABITS: Generosity and an abundance of love to give. Anne is a free spirit, a scientist at heart, very charismatic and in the proud possession of a most winning smile. She values what is hers and remains fiercely protective of her loved ones. Anne is a leader, a care-taker, someone who shoulders pain, responsibility and inconvenience so that others will not have to. She gives as freely and readily as she takes and has a keen, joyful mind.

I love & only love the fairer sex & thus beloved by them in turn, my heart revolts from any other love than theirs.

BIOGRAPHY

Anne is the oldest surviving child of Rebecca Battle and Jeremy Lister. Born in Market Weighton on the 3rd of April in 1791, Anne received a clerical education from a private tutor & reverend. Her exploration of her lesbian tendencies began after the year 1804, when she met her first love at Manor House School in York. To absolutely no one’s surprise, Anne was kicked out of boarding school for her lesbian relationship. She had soon enough begun to make rather a name for herself as an untameable young woman determined to seduce her female companions and break traditional gender roles (and quite a few hearts along the way). Since the academical world was denied to her, she continuously sought out private lessons from leading scientists and teachers. In her adult years, she received a one-on-one education in anatomy and palaeontology on behalf of Georges Cuvier in Paris. 

Anne quickly cultivated a passion for – well, not only lesbianism, but also classical literature, mountaineering, science, and travelling. After her uncle’s death, she inherited his estate, Shibden Hall, though she had been acting as the head of the family for some time, running the coal business and organising the tenancy. She accumulated a fair amount of wealth over the years and has no qualms spending it on her extravagant lifestyle - but can she afford what her heart desires most - a wife? We shall see …

IMPORTANT WOMEN IN ANNE’S PAST & PRESENT

Eliza Raine: Anne’s first lover, whom she shared a room with at boarding school as a teenage girl.  Isabella Norcliffe: A former girlfriend of Anne’s, nicknamed “Tib”. They met in 1810 and remained friends throughout Anne’s life, though Anne heavily disapproves of Isabelle’s alcoholism. Mariana Lawton: The woman who caused Anne to wear black, since Mariana’s marriage to a man plunged Anne into deep mourning. They met in 1814 and still uphold frequent contact, occasionally meeting up for a bit of a lesbian romp.  Maria Barlow: A widow Anne met in Paris and maintained a relationship with for two years, between 1824 and 1826, before they fell apart and Anne returned to England.  Vere Hobart: Another addition to a long list of women who left Anne in favour of becoming a man’s wife. Vere is Anne’s latest love before meeting Ann Walker. She settled down in Hastings with her for the duration of a winter, firmly planning on spending the rest of her life in her company. Until, that is, she met Vere’s groom-to-be.  Ann Walker: Wealthy, sweet, kind little Miss Walker. Surely Anne is not in love with her. Surely she cares little about her company. Surely this is all just a game. Surely Anne just courts her for her money and social standing. Certainly. Doubtlessly. Definitely. 

ANNE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Frankly speaking, Anne LOVES to flirt - a bit of good-natured, harmless flirtation is one of her favourite pastimes, regardless of her current relationship status. When she’s not committed to another woman, she’s quite ready to take things further & far beyond a mere exchange of charm. Anne is very confident in her sexuality and wastes no time obsessing over the 19th century morality of her conquests.  She loves women, she loves being around them, she loves looking at them and courting them, and she loves being intimate with them behind closed doors.

But it is important to note that all of those affairs are private. Due to the nature of the society she lives in, Anne can not let herself be seen openly kissing a woman and confirming the many rumours circulating about her and her female “acquaintances” ( who, by the way, she keeps in close touch with even after years. You physically CAN’T avoid Anne’s exes forever).

When Anne falls for someone, she falls hard and fast. She becomes very attached and demonstrates the deepest care and affection. But even so, she knows how to set boundaries for herself, regardless of what her heart wants. She has been thoroughly educated on looking out for herself in a relationship. If she is hurt beyond a certain point, she’ll be gone. Additionally, she can be calculating in her choice of partners, particularly when it comes to (unofficial) marriage. Anne is the head of her family and the one in charge of running Shibden, so any permanent commitment to a woman depends first and foremost on her lover’s social and financial standing.

( Unless … you manage to change her mind. )

See here for sexual boundaries & preferences.

TL;DR: Anne Lister is best summed up in the words of my girlfriend, who ever so wisely described her as follows:  Anne: I'm very calm and classy. Also Anne: STOMP STOMP STOMP TANTRUM TANTRUM TANTRUM  STOMP STOMP LESBIAN ROMP STOMP STOMP.

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 9

9: Sectionals

Written by: Brad Falchuk Directed by: Brad Falchuk

Overall Thoughts: I adore this episode. It’s in my top three favourite episodes of season one. Everything about it is pure Glee – the Glee I fell in love with, and which still makes me cry like a baby and shout “that’s my fucking show you guys!” to this day. It’s the clubs first competition and it’s so incredible to watch them go out there and, against all odds, actually win. It makes my heart swell just thinking about it. Dear god I love this episode.

What I Like:

Is it a cop out to say everything? Probably. But I really want to say everything. (Okay, no, there are some things I don’t like. But can I say almost everything?)

Mercedes standing up for herself and delivering one of her very best solos of all time. To the point where even Rachel can’t tell her that she’s not good enough and Rachel should step in. It’s amazing to watch. Mercedes literally takes my breath away.

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I think Rachel was in the right to tell Finn about Quinn and Puck. I know she did it for the wrong reasons, but this had really gone on long enough. Finn wasn’t the father of Quinn’s baby, and he had every right to know that. As much as I adore Quinn (and I do) she was most definitely, 100%, without a shadow of a doubt, in the wrong about keeping this a secret from Finn for so long.

The phone conversation between most of the Glee club. It’s so awesome to see them all as friends outside of the club. The fact that Brittany and Santana were a part of it just made it even better. And, speaking of…

The official beginning of Brittana! I know it was shitty of Brittany to say that, but this is still the first time it’s explicitly stated that something beyond friendship is happening between the two cheerleaders. It’s still so amazing to me to watch where they are here in season one, knowing where they’ll end up. I love Brittana so much you guys.

Emma standing up for the Glee club to the other choir directors. It’s always so awesome to watch Emma stand her ground and really give someone a good shellacking. She’s rarely given the opportunity to be assertive, and it’s too bad because Jayma Mays plays it so well.

Anna Camp’s cameo! I always forget that she’s in this episode and it’s always such an awesome surprise when she shows up (even if her character is ableist as fuck)

I don’t care for Will and Emma, but I still sob watching Will run down the hall trying to catch Emma before she leaves. Blame it on the nostalgia?

Miss Hitchens going to admit that her team cheated. She’s a minor character, but it’s really nice so see that, even though she made a mistake, she’s willing to own up to it and learn and grow.

Quinn telling Puck that she doesn’t want to be with him just because Finn broke up with her. It was really grown up and just a really awesome moment.

Quinn and Rachel talking, and Quinn admitting that she isn’t mad at Rachel. It’s sweet, but I also appreciate that it ends with Quinn asking Rachel to leave.

The fact that Finn and Rachel aren’t shown to get together in this episode. Even if it’s implied in the next one, it’s nice that they didn’t jump straight from Finn/Quinn to Finn/Rachel within seconds. Plus, it’s such a jam-packed episode that there really isn’t time for it.

Terri talking about going to therapy. That’s one thing I’ve always appreciated about this show – how they normalize the idea of going to therapy, and eventually being medicated. This only got better as the seasons went on.

I know I already mentioned Will and Emma, but that whole ending montage is just absolutely fantastic.

The whole competition set list is fantastic. One of their best competitions, by far.

Sue getting suspended. Let me be very clear: I love Sue. But she’s a little shit, and Principal Figgins actually doing his job for once is really refreshing.

What I Don’t Like:

Emma pushing back her wedding to go to Sectionals. Come on, Emma. She’s right not to be surprised that Ken left her.

Um… that’s basically it.

Songs

And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going: THIS SONG YOU GUYS. Chills. Literal chills. And tears. So many tears. I love Mercedes Jones so fucking much oh my god. She’s just so incredible and so talented and just… WOW.

Don’t Rain on My Parade: This is the Rachel solo. I mean, we all know it. She kills it, she sounds amazing, and she blows everyone, including the viewer, away. It’s nice, too, because she’s barely done any show choir ballads yet – it’s mostly been top forty, which I personally don’t like her voice in that much. This song is more in her wheelhouse, and is absolutely fantastic.

You Can’t Always Get What You Want: I mean, it’s no Don’t Stop Believing, but it’s still fantastic. The choreography is simple, which makes it believable that they just put it together. Finn and Rachel sound really good, which makes it one of the few “group numbers” in which I have no objection of them taking lead. Overall a strong closing number (even if the implication is that they actually closed with Somebody to Love)

My Life Would Suck Without You: This cover literally makes me weep, okay? Everyone doing the dances from iconic performances, singing together and sounding awesome, just being so goddamn happy that they won; then pair that with Will running to try and catch up with Emma, his future fucking wife? I’m weak, okay? Weak. Also, much like Jump, this is one of those Glee songs that I’m just like… this is my show, okay? This is my fucking show and I love it so much.

Final Thoughts: Amazing episode, 10/10 would recommend. Seriously. It’s just… awesome. I just watched it and I feel like watching it again, that’s how good it is.

[kouei116]

Masterlist

I'm still learning Japanese (beginner) and this blog is for my practice hence I cannot guarantee 100% accuracy, any corrections are welcomed.  Please do not repost my posts/photos. Reblog is ok. 

IKEMEN VAMPIRE Profile 1 2  Xmas 2018 - Tonight I'll be your Santa Claus part 1  part 2 Happy New Year 2019 from IkeVam suitors  Which IkeVam suitors will be your Valentine 2019? Cybird’s chemistry analysis  Icons & Headers (1) (2) (3) ; Now Loading chibis & pets Your Wedding Story Valentine present for him Love Fortune GIF  Dazai - Your story that I didn't know  Vampire Host Club March19 event ; Dec19 event ; 1  2  3  4  5  6  7 Leonardo  Touch him mischievously XXX 2nd birthday: Vincent ; Leonardo ; Theo ; Arthur ; Dazai 3rd birthday: Napoleon ; Sebastian ; Shakespeare ; Isaac ; Jean ; Mozart Preview Video: Napoleon ; Mozart ; Leonardo ; Arthur ; Vincent ; Isaac ; Theo ; Jeanne ; Shakespeare ; Comte Route Teaser: Jeanne ; Shakespeare ; Comte Absolute obedience contract : Comte  Kissing you as fever-reducing medicine Bridal Event: Messages (1 2) Sweet voice story set - Rain Bath story (smut) Leonardo ;  Vincent Naughty rendezvous with him wearing yukata Sucking love triangle From that day when I kissed you To fall in love with you once more part 2: Mozart ; Vincent ; Leonardo General Election 2019 Tonight, at the theatre of love His yandere obsession Butler event - Milady for one day Forbidden XX Story set with kiss sound Trap of tempting love: Vlad & Napoleon Arthur - election 2019 1st place voiced story Tipsy event Voice story Vlad ; Charles ; Faust Nightmare lovers: Charles ; Faust  An embrace on Holy Night Live radio Eminent figures' hot bath story set New Year Romance Lucky bag 2020 Happy New Year 2020 from suitors (1 2) My (and mine alone) Cindrella Valentine sweet aphrodisiac and melty chocolate

- IKEMEN REVOLUTION Seth's Bar, tell me Mousse!  ; Seth’s Bar, Zero express your feelings ; Jonah's Bar, Ray's assertion  Cradle’s Scoop  Kyle's Bath story Alice's Holiday Our beginning (Harr, Sirius, Lance school day) event Teaser  Video  Flower Secret Message Pure white bride Part 1 ; Part 2  Oliver's Route teaser  2nd birthday teaser: Loki ; Oliver ; Ray ; 1st birthday: Dalim Dean 3rd birthday teaser: Ray ; Oliver ; Fenrir ; Sirius ; Seth ; Kyle ; Edgar ; Luka ; Blanc 4th birthday teaser: Jonah ; Harr ;  Preview Video: Kyle ; Luka ; Oliver ; Zero ; Harr Cradle Award 2018 JP - Luka's Portrait Story ; Luka's Diary Cradle Award JP 2019 Edgar & Luka story - Let's start the adult talk about love interests Zero & Jonah - Important mission and secret bribery Jonah - White Day, Homemade cookies are the taste of love Indulgence on a hot night:  Zero’s story   I want to say my words of love to you once more:  Part 1 ; Part 2 Overcoming the ordeal of love together :  Harr’s Story The dream of fairy tale for you Cradle Harvest Festival Forbidden aphrodisiac : Dean ; Seth ; Harr Ray's situation CD Vampire stories Santa is by my side Animal magic - Dum/Dalim Valentine Kissing under the moonlight

- IKEMEN SENGOKU Onsen story: Kenshin ; Nobunaga Nobunaga Eternal Love Ending: Video ; Teaser ; Ending  Sasuke Preview Video  Wedding Event His Feeling towards you GIF 1 2 Mitsuhide Route Preview Video ; Route Teaser Mitsuhide's Kitsune restaurant PS Vita version: Ieyasu ; Ranmaru  Birthday 2019-20: Masamune ; Mitsuhide ; Mitsunari ; Shingen ; Kennyo Ieyasu ; Kenshin

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PS VITA / NINTENDO SWITCH / STEAM  * Code Realize Guardian of rebirth: Saint Germain (1 2); Victor ; Impey ; Van Helsing (1 2); Lupin (1 2) * Code Realize Wintertide Miracles: Saint Germain (1 2); Van Helsing; Lupin; Victor Impey * Amnesia Memories: Shin (1 2) ; Ikki (1 2) ; Kent (1 2) ; Toma (1 2); Ukyo (1 2) * Collar x Malice: Sasazuka (1 2) ; Enomoto ; Okazaki (1 2 3); Shiraishi (1 2); Yanagi (1 2) * Ikemen Sengoku PS Vita: Ieyasu ;  Ranmaru * Diabolik Lovers Haunted Dark Bridal: Kanato ;  * Diabolik Lovers More Blood: Kanato ; Kou ; * Diabolik Lovers Vandead Carnival: Kanato ; Kou ; Laito ; Ruki ; Azusa ; * Diabolik Lovers Dark Fate: Carla ; Kanato ; Kou * Diabolik Lovers Lunatic Parade: Kanato ; Kou ; Carla * Diabolik Lovers Lost Eden: Kanato ; Kou ; Carla * Diabolik Lovers Chaos Lineage: Kanato ; Kou ; Carla * Nightshade: Goemon , Hanzo, Chojiro, Kurayuki (1 2), Gekkamaru * Nameless: Tei (1 2); Lance (1 2) * Jakou no Lyla: European ; Asian  * Amnesia WORLD: Normal world-Shin * Piofiore: Prologue ; Dante (1 2) ; Orlok ; Nicola * Taisho Alice: Cinderella * Cendrillon Palika: Prologue ; Ulen ; Shien ; Ela ; Ulen * Shiro to kuro no alice: Prologue ; Rain ; Minette ; Snow * Brothers Conflict: Iori ; Ukyo Louis ; Azusa Natsume ; Tsubaki Masumi * The Men of Yoshiwara Ohgiya (Ageha) / Period Cube (Zain, Astrum, Poyopoyo) / The Charming Empire (Kei, Soshi) / Norn9: Kakeru / Beastmaster & Prince: Erik  / * Bad Apple War: Shikamashi ; White mask 

- IKEMEN LIVE Kanade’s route preview 

IKEMEN GENJIDEN Preview video Yoritomo ; Yoshitsune  Yoshitsune: Birthday 2019 ; Onsen story ;  WAKIDENAI Intro story ; Full Body Illustrations ; Rooms ; Favourite Food ; Voice sample & Profile: Kannagi - MISCELLANOUS Horoscope compatibility with IkeSen-Rev-Vam husbands My Shrine of game merchandise: MysMe ; IkeSen  ; Plushie (1 2) Cybird's Line Stickers (IkeSen, IkeRev, MidCin, IkeVam) My list of games & suitors

[rebeccalouisaferguson]

Rebecca Ferguson: “I did not earn my success” 

Rebecca Ferguson, 35, has many faces. She plays an opera singer in “The Greatest Showman”, in her latest film “The Kid Who Would Be King” she is evil witch.  In the interview for Gala in London hotel she shows her real face and explains why she thinks, she did not earn her current  success. 

In your latest film you play an abysmal evil witch...

Rebecca Ferguson: ... and I found it wonderfully liberating to finally be allowed to be become really evil for the role. Especially since I had the perfect sparring partner to bring out my darkest side. 

And that was? 

My son Isaac as it happened had his big school holidays while i was shooting so he could be with me almost all the time. I kept asking him what would scare him the most in a scene that supposed to be scary, in which tone is the best for me to speak and what look is especially scary to him.  

Have you got the taste now? 

And how! For example, in "Doctor Sleep", the sequel to Stephen King's "The Shining," I torture young children. Great! (laughs). It's just exciting to be able to tease out one's inner abysses with such roles.

A few years ago nobody knew you outside of Sweden. Today you play alongside Hugh Jackman or Chris Hemsworth ...

A little bit crazy, right? It still feels a bit surreal to me. Suddenly you work with a Meryl Streep, who you have admired for years from afar. Sometimes it hits me like a shock and then I think to myself: unbelievable, what an incredible luck i have! Especially since ambition in my life never counted among the driving impulses.

Really? 

Many people are eager to have great success and to give something to the outside world. Be it as a dentist, politician or an actor. I never had that wish. I just went my own way and most of the time it felt absolutely right. And as soon as I did not feel well in my skin, I chose another life path. In my life, things just happened, which sometimes, honestly, makes me feel guilty.

Why? 

I think that I have not really earned my current success. Many young actresses tear themselves apart to eventually live off their profession and become known. I, on the other hand, never had to fight for something with elbows and let myself be humiliated on hundreds of auditions. I was simply offered interesting roles. Maybe i have the best agent in the world! (laughs). At any rate, it has not been about my assertiveness that I am doing so well in business today. And if it is my talent? I would not like to judge for myself.

Unusually modest words for a film star... 

I'm sure there are thousands of actresses who have much more talent than me. Nevertheless, they get no more than a few supporting roles in TV series - if any. Sometimes, unfortunately, you are not in the right place at the right time, often it's just bad luck. I am sure that many colleagues burn a hundred times more than I do, sacrifice so much for their big dream and still have to bury it someday.

Rebecca Ferguson: from model to Hollywood actress 

How did it all start for you? 

Initially as a teenager i worked for a short time as a model, which i did not enjoy at all and was then cast as a 15-year-old for the lead role in a Swedish soap opera. We filmed two and a half episodes a day. Five days a week for two years. I never needed a drama school, because the work in the soap was the best and hardest school ever. Then I had a small role in the US series "Ocean Ave.", which flopped terribly. After that I was for the first time done with acting.

Then everything did not go as smooth as you say ...

For an outsider it might look like this. But I have never felt that way. Although I had tasted blood at that time and had a great desire for acting, considered the subject, but was always very pragmatic, with a slightly supercooled distance and without naive illusions.

Did you have a plan B? 

Of course! I am not a woman who gives into dreams and illusions. I studied music and dance in Stockholm and later taught Argentine tango in Lund. But I also opened a yoga studio once, worked as a shoe salesman and as a waitress - so I reinvented myself professionally a few times. Nevertheless, I always remained faithful to acting. And then in 2013 came the British mini-series "The White Queen"...

Your breakout role? 

With the role came the Golden Globe nomination which opened many doors for me. Hollywood became aware of me. And when I gradually moved to London everything came in quick succession.

Rebecca Ferguson & Tom Cruise are not just work colleagues

Is it true that as a teenager, you used to rave about Tom Cruise, your "Mission: Impossible" co-star?

And how! I had a crush on this man. When i was a kid my entire room used to be plastered with his posters and "Rain Man" or "Top Gun" were among my favourite movies. Well, and today we are not just work colleagues ...

Did you become friends? 

You can say so. Tom is dear to me and we have a mutual sympathy. Unfortunately we can seldom meet in person, but we regularly send mails and phone several times a month. And soon, we will be back together in front of the camera for the seventh "Mission Impossible”. Tom is a funny, sensitive person - and a great listener.

You have two children. Is not such a family life at your current workload terribly stressful?

And how! But luckily, my husband Rory works freelance. He accompanies me everywhere and supports me very much with the little one. Isaac is very independent for his age and goes to school in Sweden. My parents take care of him when I'm shooting. I do not want to expose him to stress, having to live without his friends, habitual environment and solid daily structures. It's not always easy - but somehow we get it all done fine in the end.

translated from German by @edwardslovelyelizabeth for @rebeccalouisaferguson.tumblr.com