#assessment season and i need to do my silly little clown things

[carelessflower]

top 10 atrocious shtv plotline

let me preface by saying i do not hate shadowhunters. it camp demon fighting hot people in leather with not enough lighting and candles as regular guest stars. this list is my personal opinion, a little something something rage filled silly little rants of my favorite show and its clown moment. picture this as the inner monologue of the lead in an indie romcom who speaks in metaphors and has a letterbox account. so sit back, grab your set and stele because you will need so much iratze for your sanity.

content warning: this rant will touch upon topics such as mental health, addiction, attempted suicide and incest.

10. magnus lost his magic

magnus is magnificent in everything, so that is why this plotline disappointed me. it has so much potential and they end up doing the bare minimum. there's no way magnus fricking bane has no one to rely on when he lost his magic besides alec. no fricking way. we should have gotten magnus to work out alec's deal with asmodeus by himself. i'm also of the opinion that magnus should be the one to figure out a way to get his magic back (there are lots of good fics exploring this, i recommend you check it out) it end up in this position cause overall it a good and interesting premise and magnus outsmarting his father and using his portal (something that magnus invented) to defeat him is a good conclusion

9. heidi took over dumort and planned to dominate the shadoworld

i mean this happened in the book, but it was given way way more screen time than necessary in the show. please dont tell me a newly born vampire is suddenly a master manipulator and leader and makes every vampire bend to her will. you're trying to be serious not comedy shtv. and how about we give all of heidi screen time to flesh out clary and magnus plotline in S3B more?? or idk, give the lightwood trio A PLOTLINE this season besides being the supporting partner

8. jordan redemption arc

he's an abuser. he's an abuser. HE IS AN ABUSER. we don't need him sobbing and crying and then ‘dying’ in front of maia. i loathe how for a second i thought they gonna make maia go back together with jordan again. the only good thing come out of it is maia getting somewhat closure, and i used that term loosely

7. the owl

jace spent S3A being mind controlled by lilith, struggling, begging to be killed, being mind control again, then free. he doesn't have a single moment after all that bullshit to process because oh we need the plot to move along and another fresh trauma has arrived at the jace station. and oh remember the soul sword thing??? when there's an attempt to write the payoff of jace unintentionally killing a bunch of people? i dont know about you but the show writers sure do not. the rules and influence of lilith over jace is so confusing it is ridiculously hilarious

6. alec and jace's parabatai bond

i've already done a recap of all the wonderful moments of jace parabatai career so i will keep this really simple. picture the parabatai bond as group final assessment. alec is pulling all-nighter, groupchat urging to finish tasks on time, one on one meetings with professor for feedback, two hours finalizing and fixing the final product. jace is "why do i have to do so much" and submitting work late two hours that don't pass the plagiarize check

5. team evil (evil clary + S3B jonathan)

i would like to remind you she turns fully evil in episode 18 and is cured of it in episode 20. they build this evil plotline up through clary burning her hand, snapping at simon once and losing it at aline (who btw i believe is justified in her rage how many people sebastian/jonathan/ginger incest bread have killed) clary turning evil means she now will sexily whisper her line, wear tighter/revealing dress and stare at people with smoldering eyes. because of course, evil female characters are like that. i also need writers for that clace scene in the club when jace's on seelie drug to answer for their crime against my sanity

jonathan S3B is bad. and not even the fun kind. when you compare this character to the one in S2B, he got clear on every possible aspect i almost shed a tear. he, like evil clary, has so much potential. but the way the writing goes makes him just hilariously pathetic. yes i am in fact referring to him yelling 'YOU WILL NEVER LOVE ME' at clary and then flying away in his devil cosplay

4. merlion getting taken to the silent brothers

alec is shit for blindly following the clave's order, jace betrays his parabatai and along with izzy and clary conducts a stupid plan that can create an all-out war and involves two of the downworlder leaders in all that. also, magnus steal alec stele aka the acting head stele…because bad decision is infectious in this episode. considering how serious they’re trying to make the political aspect of the show to be, the fact that this exists. literally insane. this whole plotline is to highlight how clary is the hero who stands up for justice and morals and all of that when she the one contributing the least. she just stands around lets everyone do stuff for her and they're trying to convince us she's the hero. then she and jace fuck off to another dimension after roping people into their mess because that is what a good hero does.

that screencap. she said that surrounding by downworlders. her kendall jenner pepsi world peace era

3. alec's mental health

alec try to jump off that balcony and the only person they show having any concern over it is magnus in the next episode. oh no no, not even in that lightwood family talk in the same episode of the balcony thing, with you know, his mom and his parabatai, not a word. and the only one who says anything related to it is clary of all people. im convinced the whole alec killing off jocelyn is for alec to feel guilty and then ease him into a friendship with clary because this is no way to handle this type of story there is no way. and it is not like they say oh well, here's the end of this. because they include shots of alec pinching his hands at that hospital scene. what was the reason? has alec not had enough on his plate already? friendly reminder, iris's spell at that party caused people to project their insecurities and everyone was fighting each other. and who does alec blame? who does he fight? who he thinks is worthless of living and no one will miss? himself. do they drop this storyline faster than clace romance? yes!

2. clace

ah, instant love that makes no sense because we are supposed to believe it is the way it is. the writers keep telling us there is nothing compared to their love but doesn't show us SHIT when it comes to that. don't believe me? oh, okay, the number of dates that they have before crusty lord of the lifetime valentine morgenshit breaks the fake sibling news is that time when jace stands and watches clary get encanto and tough inappropriately by a vampire and their rendezvous with fake dad. then in S2A they mostly interact when clary is in trouble and needs jace help. clary dates the first person she knows already has feeling for her, jace goes around very around. they don't bond or try to talk or interact besides jace constantly looking sulkily at clary and simon. then 2x14 it all reveals she loves jace she desires jace no one for her but jace. and i totally forgot jace's confession via the soul sword about loving clary, not the way you would love a sister and all that. their first date as an again couple is 3x02…the love confession is ridiculous because he's saying all these things despite us literally never seeing that on screen. they bonk when clary still links with her psychopath brother, that whole scene alone should pay for my therapy. we kept being told they are in love, but we are never shown that. hey, maybe some advice. slapping romantic music over a scene will not make the scene romantic, you actually need to write it too. this relationship goes nowhere because itself and the two characters inside it doesn't change. it's always clary wants something so jace push everyone and everything under the solar system out of the way to give it to her. this wouldn't be a problem if, yk, it is only in the first season and they have character development. but let me remind you S3B they summon lilith back to earth despite magnus losing his magic to help defeat her (didn't make it to this list but a very strong honorary mention) with the worst possible plan. relying on a guy simon knew for less than the time clary and jace spent thinking through their plan. it like you are asking for him to betray you

aldetree izzy raphael and yinfen 

one of the only major plotlines izzy has. and it's this. because of course this addict seeks a provider then both fall in love and the provider becomes addict again is super duper appropriate to happen to these two. two of the poc characters who are prominent in the show. one of the few female characters. of course very splendid decisions right there. and at the end of the series izzy gets together with someone who can make her relapse again. all because this storyline that could have been cut off and replaced with something more decent. but nope! sexily blood drinking time!

tag list: @dustandducks @cityofdownwardspirals @magnus-the-maqnificent @onetimetwotimesthreetimess @wildesummerchild @cam-ryt @khaleesiofalicante @idk-i-just-really-like-tsc

[enbyincrisis]

Fuck it I'm going to say something controversial. Podiatry majors are the worst and I hate them.