#astrid becke

[teansouprmyjam]

sketchy sketch of the archmage of civil influence...

[sky-scribbles]

Oh god, this is Caleb's go-to term of affection, isn't it? I'd bet money it's what his parents called each other, too.

Just. Little Bren, only seventeen, with such a huge heart that's already getting buried. Brent, who in all the awfulness that's happening to him really, deeply loves Astrid and Eadwulf. Turning to Astrid in this brief window of normality, just getting to be a young man at a festival with his loved ones, calling her my dear, as if they were normal lovers.

(And she rolls her eyes, perhaps because she can't quite let herself pretend that they're normal, perhaps because she can't put that much of her heart in the open, perhaps because she doesn't quite realise - and won't, until it's too late - how much heart Bren has in him -)

How wonderful must it be, years and years later, for Caleb to be able to welcome Essek into his home, and get to call him dear. He can just... do that. Every time they see each other. And when he does, Essek smiles, and kisses him.

[its-your-mind]

The Mighty Nein as textposts 5/???

[captainskells]

Jastober 24. short comic . prompts

I read "short" and chose death. This is based on an older edit I did of this scene before I knew how to draw. how far we have come :') Also, very proud since last time I drew a comic I nearly had a stroke

[quietsphere]

Widogast's Bisexual Maelstrom.

[nohtora]

me and my boys gonna mess you up

[aeoris4lovers]

when caleb is talking to the nein about his past before the dinner with trent, he tells them that in the time he spent under trent, astrid and wulf never wavered in their dedication or willingness. after rereading his origins comic, though, i think he’s wrong. i think there was a pretty significant period of time where eadwulf specifically was having doubts about what they were doing right in front of his eyes.

exhibit a: the bodies

this is the most subtle example of it, but it’s also the earliest and probably represents the very beginnings of whatever doubts were brewing in wulf’s mind.

in both of these instances, there’s a dead or unconscious body on the ground, and wulf is staring at it while bren talks to trent. it’s hard to tell where he’s looking in the second one, but a later frame makes it clear that he’s looking in the direction of a body.

in the first one particularly, he looks to me like he’s visibly upset — his face isn’t as stoic as the others, and his body language looks uncertain, not his usual crossed-arm stance.

these were the moments that first caught my eye. they brought up questions in my mind: what is he thinking? what’s going through his head as he looks at the people they just hurt?

exhibit b: the bath scene

this comes immediately after the second body, and is what confirmed in my mind that wulf definitely isn’t entirely on board with the things they’re being told to do.

he closes the door behind them and just stands with his fist against it. none of them look happy by any means, but it’s clear that he’s upset to a point where even bren and astrid, in the midst of their own feelings, look concerned and go to comfort him.

bren in particular takes a long moment with him before the two of them rejoin astrid. i’ll get into why that — and bren’s role in general — is significant in a moment.

exhibit c: the morning after

this is the most important point in all of this, and the significance of his reaction here really can’t be understated.

in this moment, trent has just drawn their attention to their “memories” of their parents defying the empire. these are, from their point of view, very real and undeniable memories. and yet, the reaction we see here from wulf is one of explicit and absolute rejection.

and he’s not just denying what trent wants him to believe — he’s angry. he’s standing up and slamming a hand on table and raising his voice. doubt has been simmering under the surface in him for a while now, and this is the moment that trent crosses a line. trent has presented something truly unthinkable to him and despite his own memories supporting it, he absolutely cannot believe it. on a very visceral level, he knows it can’t be right.

this moment is significant not only because it confirms beyond a shadow of a doubt that wulf is not completely sure of what they’re doing, but also because we literally never see another student of trent openly defy him like this, nor do we see any volstrucker do so.

let me repeat that: until caleb goes up against him with the nein, eadwulf is the only person we ever see look trent in the eye and say “you’re wrong.” even after all of campaign two, we never see someone actively working under him defy him that explicitly — it’s only caleb, who escaped his control, or people like the nein with no real connection to him. even when astrid acts against him, she does it very quietly and is clearly terrified of those actions being alluded to at the dinner. wulf is the only one we ever see who, while at trent’s mercy, dares to openly and completely reject him.

bringing his family into it was a step too far. at this point, wulf isn’t just struggling with what they’re being told — he’s absolutely not having it anymore.

so what gives?

we know that he ultimately believes trent enough to kill his parents, and is even the first of the three to do it, so how do we get to that level of agreement from such a powerful moment of anger and denial?

that’s where bren comes in.

looking back at that breakfast scene, we can also see how the other two react to their own memories coming to light.

astrid’s is one of betrayal. she’s confused and struggling to understand why they would do it, but she doesn’t deny it either.

bren’s, on the other hand, is one of defeat. he’s clearly upset, but he’s simultaneously totally certain that what they’re remembering is true. and of course he is — his memory has been impeccable his entire life. why would he start to question it now, even if he doesn’t want to believe what it’s telling him?

bottom line: while astrid clearly also struggles with it and may have her own doubts, though not as strong as wulf’s, bren takes it all in stride and never wavers.

and if there’s one thing we know about wulf, it’s that he trusts his people. throughout his scenes in campaign two, we see him looking to astrid for signs of what to do or say and deferring to her when he’s overwhelmed by or unsure of the situation at hand. when caleb takes his hand at the blooming grove, he follows, and when astrid takes his hand and leads him away, he follows her. where they go, he follows. he trusts them implicitly and he looks to them when he doesn’t know what the right call is.

so what is he going to do in that moment, when his own mind is telling him something that he absolutely can’t believe and he doesn’t know how to reconcile it? he looks to them for guidance.

astrid clearly isn’t in a place to offer much, and hasn’t been. she’s not as lost in doubt as he is, but she’s not certain enough to reassure him either. we can already see that in the bath scene — remember when i said it was significant that bren is the one to stay with wulf while astrid goes off on her own? she wants to comfort him and tries to because she cares about him, but it seems that her conviction isn’t quite strong enough to be a steady base for someone else. and in the breakfast scene, we see that again, with her not openly going against it but still struggling with it in a way bren doesn’t.

bren, on the other hand, is consistently certain that they’re doing the right thing, even when it feels bad. caleb says as much himself when he first tells beau and nott his story: “i was so sure, i was so sure, until i wasn’t.” hearing his parents scream as they die is genuinely the first time he ever has doubts. until that moment, he’s sure. he trusts his mind and he trusts trent and he believes in their cause.

so when he sees wulf struggling with it, what does he do? he offers that certainty, reminds him of why they’re doing what they do, assures him that they’re doing the right thing and he doesn’t have to feel guilty. he’s their rock, the one wulf and astrid can trust to be sure even when their faith is shaken.

and that’s exactly what i think happens in the time between that breakfast and the night they kill their parents: bren sees wulf angry and totally lost trying to make sense of the massive gulf between what he remembers and what he knows to be true, he sees astrid confused and not able to put the pieces together, and he reassures them because he trusts his mind and so do they and he doesn’t want to see them struggle.

and i think astrid needs less convincing, but once she’s sure too and it’s only wulf that can’t accept it, that’s when he starts to think that maybe the unthinkable could really be true. bren is certain of what he remembers and astrid is certain that bren is right, so how can wulf, who trusts and relies on them so much for guidance, not at least entertain the idea that his parents really are traitors? how can he deny it and, in doing so, deny them?

that’s how he can ultimately go and do what he’s told, with such a stern and certain look on his face as he does. because his people were sure that it was the right thing to do, and no matter how strongly he feels that something must be wrong, he trusts them even more than he trusts himself.

that’s not to say that his doubts are completely quelled, though, because there’s still more of this thread that we can follow.

exhibit d: the aftermath

wulf’s move to knock bren out and save astrid is a quick and decisive one in the moment, but it’s clear that he isn’t at all sure if he did the right thing. he talks to trent — explaining himself, maybe even apologizing because he thinks he was wrong — and trent has to stop him and say that no, he was right.

this is significant for two reasons. the first and more obvious of the two is that this shows he’s still in a headspace of questioning what he’s doing almost immediately after doing it. that doubt was quelled long enough to allow him to complete the “exercise”, but not by any means gone for good.

the second, which i think is the most important to the person he ultimately becomes, is that this is the first time he’s had to look to trent for reassurance.

before this moment, it’s bren and astrid who comfort and reassure him. but now, bren is lost to them and astrid is in no shape to offer any comfort, much less give him the reassurance bren might have. and she might not want to do so even if she could — she wanted to save bren, not leave him behind, and may very well be angry at wulf for the choice he made. so what choice does he have, with neither of them able to support him, but to look to his mentor for reassurance?

and what happens once he gets that reassurance from trent? before, he doubted trent and even openly defied him, but can he continue to do that now?

if he wants to be able to live with himself after, to live with the choice he made and sleep at night, he has to believe that the reassurance trent offered him that night was right — he has to believe that trent’s judgment is right. if trent is lying or just wrong, that means he did the wrong thing that night, and where can he go from there?

that night is a turning point for wulf not just because he took his parents out of the picture, but because he made a decision that ended up forcing him to trust trent to an extent that he really didn’t before.

the new eadwulf

the wulf that we meet in campaign two as an adult is a far cry from the wulf who stood up at that table and said “no, they would never.” he comes across as largely apathetic to and even comfortable with the things they do — it’s just a job for him, not something to overthink or get hung up on. as far as he’s concerned, the lives they take are unfortunate but still necessary sacrifices, just like trent always said.

and if you ask me, his journey to becoming that person, to the doubt and the fire in him being all but completely stomped out, starts with the night he was forced to give up his one source of constant reassurance and finally put his trust in trent instead. everything we see him do to separate himself from his actions, from his belief in fate and his “good soldier” attitude to the drink he has ready after spending time with trent, stems from that moment. he is the way he is when we meet him not because he simply doesn’t care, but because he can no longer afford to.

caleb says they never wavered while he was with them, but i think it’s only because his vision was clouded by his own certainty that he never saw it. he just couldn’t believe that they might not believe in their cause as much as he did because it seemed so right to him, and how could he believe that the people he loved would doubt something so important?

but they did doubt it, especially wulf, and even as an adult, little bits of that stick around in him — he immediately gravitates toward caduceus after caduceus stands up to trent, and as soon as trent isn’t a threat anymore, he’s perfectly content to just stay with caleb (and probably would have if astrid hadn’t pulled him away when she did).

i think, if bren hadn’t been selected for the volstrucker program or just hadn’t been as confident as he was in all of it, it may very well have been eadwulf who found himself standing against trent in the end.

[astrid-beck]

Do you guys ever think about how Archmage Astrid probably inherited a class of volstrucker trainees. Like that program was alive and well when she took up her post and even if she wanted to change it eventually you cannot end a program like that overnight. You still have to look at a teenager with rocks in their arms and decide what to do with an abandoned science project soldier who doesn't even have the consolation of being finished or powerful or old enough to drink

[goblingardens]

My new hobby is intensely staring at every. single. panel of Caleb’s origin comic 👁️👁️

… so I found a few things!

Vex and Percy dancing in Rexxentrum!

Trinket in Caleb’s childhood home🥹

I SWEAR this is the Captain Tusktooth tattoo, you can’t convince me otherwise.

So let’s ponder the lore and what it means that Caleb’s family either knew of Trinket or just owns a random armoured bear.

Why would Vex and Percy be there at this time? Is this pre or during the relationship? Is all of Vox Machina in Rexxentrum?

And what unholy connection is there between the kid drawing tusktooth in their notes and Jester Lavorre?

Enjoy🤓

[ashisafriedpickle]

[fortunesfavours]

redraw of a photo by Matt Lambert

[essekknits]

Extremely torn whenever canon deals with Caleb’s past relationships because whenever the cast discusses them there’s a weird fixation on Astrid, and then I have to be torn because on one hand it’s “fuck yeah!!! Astrid!!! I love Astrid!!!” But on the other hand it’s “where’s Eadwulf!!! Stop ignoring Eadwulf!!! He’s also important and under-discussed!!!”

[mareastrorum]

It occurs to me that Astrid and Eadwulf probably had suspicions that Caleb’s escape and reappearance was orchestrated by Trent as some sort of test for them.

Like, Astrid and Eadwulf lived another 11 years under Trent’s thumb knowing that Bren was languishing in Vergesson before the escape. Then he’s just gone. For all they know, Trent killed him or secreted him away or any number of terrible things available to an Archmage. They had no way of knowing. And then 5 years later, Bren Caleb reappears in Rexxentrum, wearing Kryn clothing, having saved the city from a strange cult, and he’s brokering peace with the Kryn Dynasty because he has connections there.

Did they think Bren had been sent deep undercover with a false name? That he was still taking orders from Trent and was trying to catch them in a moment of disloyalty? That his sad wet cat monologues were calculated, that the opposition to Trent at dinner was staged, that asking for help with Vergesson was a trap?

Even if he was a scapegoat, Adeen Tasithar was soon labeled as the traitor that sold the beacons to the Empire. Regardless of whether any Volstrucker thought he had been the one to do it, the Assembly had that much reach. The Archmages could get a spy into the Empire. Trent viewed Bren as one of his favorites, that is absolutely the insane sort of ploy he would be willing to do.

Astrid and Eadwulf aren’t dumb, of course. They wouldn’t jump to conclusions in their line of work. But that possibility probably occurred to them and was eventually disproven.

Damn, that would have terrifying to consider.

[elissastillstands]

The long work after the war. 

I loved the Mighty Nein Reunion, and I didn’t have the time to draw when the episodes were airing, so I figured that my first piece in the new year should be my favorites from that campaign.

[captainskells]

A much younger and hopeful Astrid Becke (my beloved) 🥺❤

"Race you to the top."

[c-kiddo]

7jan2023 redraw of this not-so-good art from 2020 🔥✸

p happy with improvement so thats nice :’-3 

[Image ID: A gloomily lit drawing of Astrid and Eadwulf from Critical Role from the chest up. eadwulf is smirking and summoning a flame in one hand while Astrid looks forward with a dead eyed stare and a tear dripping off her chin. Eadwulf is tall and thick with olive skin, buzzed dark brown hair and maze tattoos on his bare forearm. Astrid is short and thin with pale white skin and chin length side shaved dirty blonde hair. End image ID.]