#at a certain point i feel like we should start encouraging people just to go and watch a hog get butchered yaknow?

[tsukii0002]

Imagine the contrast of the coexistence between Mc and Solomon, a human who did not know that magic was real until relatively recently and another human who has lived for centuries and who uses magic as if it were breathing.

Imagine that little things at home where Solomon is always willing to use magic to solve it, while Mc always beats him to it in the most common and least magical way possible.

But above all imagine, Solomon's frustration, how can his magic be rendered useless in such a way? And if he has no magic, what can he bring to that home?

Solomon: Remember that blanket I told you had a hole in it, I think it's time to mend it *opening one of his books*

Mc: I've already mended it, with a few stitches it's as good as new.

Solomon: Oh…

Solomon: Mc, what was the table that was broken?

Mc: Oh, don't worry, I fixed it.

Solomon: Really? What spell did you use?

Mc: Ha, ha, Solomon, you don't need magic to wedge a table.

Solomon: Mc!! With this spell we will solve our rat problem!

Mc: *smiling* I've already taken care of that, no for nothing Barbatos is so happy with me.

Solomon: That's how you earn your premium tea leaves?

Solomon: Please tell me you didn't fix the shelf that was sagging *with a book under his arm*

Mc: *eating a muffin* Oops.

Solomon: Mc, I told you I'd fix it *pointing at the. with the book*

Mc: Solomon, it was tightening two screws, it's going to take you longer to look up such a mundane spell than to fix it manually.

.

Solomon: Mc… you're a sorceress, you should use magic more!

Mc: *funny* And you should use magic less!!! You're still a human, old man. By the way, remember those yellow spots on the tablecloth that bothered you so much?

Solomon: Yeah?

Mc: Well, I've already made them disappear and without magic.

Solomon: How????

Solomon is sitting, somewhat annoyed, on one of the balconies

Mc: Hey…

Solomon: …

Mc: Are you upset?

Solomon: … No.

Mc: *sighing as they stands next to him* Let's talk, tell me, why does it bother you so much that I solve things without magic?

Solomon: I'm not upset, we don't need to talk at all.

Mc: You know that communication is part of living together right? We are two people with different ways of living, if we don't talk how are we going to have a good cohabitation?

Solomon: … With the brothers you never had that problem.

Mc: Sure I have, maybe not with these things because Lucifer encourages certain stuff to be done manually, but we had to set a lot of guidelines when I started living with them.

Solomon: ...

Solomon: *sighing* I'm not upset… it's just that I'm used to doing everything with magic, even the smallest things, it's easier, faster.

Mc: Well, sometimes yes, but sometimes it's easier to do it without magic, and in my case I'm used to not use magic.

Solomon: *looking at them* I know, but there are things I can't do without magic.

Mc: But that's what I'm for, isn't it?

Solomon: *doubting* Then' what do I bring to our cohabitation?

Mc: *realizing*

Solomon: You cook, you do a lot of chores because you are faster, and you take care of a lot of things that allow you to have a routine… I feel that instead of living together, I am a guest...

Mc: Solomon...

Solomon: And if I can't even use my magic, Am I useless? without my magic I…

The two are silent for a moment

Mc: I'm sorry, I've minimized how you feel… and I've done things my way without taking you into account.

Solomon: Ha, ha, don't worry, *now kind of sad* It's not that big of a deal.

Mc: No, I told you, communication is part of living together and you should tell me what bothers you.

Solomon: *looking at them*

Mc: We can try to find a middle ground.

Solomon: How?

Mc: *thoughtful* Well, the day to day things we can do manually and the things that are very difficult or tedious we can use magic?

Solomon: *considering it seriously'* You could also teach me how to do tasks without magic, like how to wedge a table… and I could teach you spells that I usually use, like the one that sweeps the house by itself.

Mc: *smiling* We can also make a schedule so we don't step on each other's to-dos.

Solomon: *smiling too* And create a chat room exclusively for house stuff where we can let each other know if we're going to do something.

Mc: That sounds like a great idea Solomon.

Solomon: *more lively* And I'd also like to do certain chores together, like laundry or cooking.

Mc: … *feeling bad at Solomon's happy face* Yes… we can do that too.

.

.

This turned out to be longer than I thought, and what started as something funny has turned into a drama😅. I'm not going to lie to you, I love domestic dramas, day to day problems… so this post has turned into that because Solomon is used to live in a very different way than Mc, and living together for the first time is always complicated and habits are hard to change, and co-living is not always so great. Give me domestic situations between Mc and the rest of the cast please!!!! 🥺🥺

Anyway, if you've made it this far, thank you very much for reading🩷

.

.

[rxttenfish]

not putting this on that last reblog, but like, relevant to it - i feel like a lot of people have an extremely bad relationship to death. specifically, in a way thats very cultural and not innate.

i mean, how much has already been talked about with how uncomfortable people are with thinking about the meat that theyre eating came from something alive, and how they dont want any reminders of it? this is a recent change, and a very specific geographic change as well. people are suddenly a lot more squeamish around death, even necessary death. not just of predation but of animals dying at all, even in cases where the animal needs to be put down for quality of life reasons. it feels like its gotten a lot worse lately, of people trying to keep animals alive long past they should have been humanely put down, just because they cannot possibly deal with the fact of death.

it sort of feels the same way for human death as well. i mean, just look at the order of the good death and what they talk about, with how the removal of death as a natural and normal part of our lives seemingly only makes the hurt of it all the worse.

it feels like people are even less familiar with animals and less familiar with the messy parts of being alive, so far removed from nature, that they get even more freaked out by just the simplest, most basic parts of it. it feels like how people have gotten way more afraid of insects and spiders now that theres a greater degree of separation forced between us and the natural world. and because of this, it now makes the ongoing ecological crisis all the worse, because fear makes it so much harder to save what we have.

[lemotmo]

Some of them clearly got the point of Tim's call-out.

Q. What did you make of Tim's interview? I realize the bulk was Lonestar but the fandom stuff was interestingly phrased. The fact that so many people involved with the show, and now the showrunner himself, are openly discussing how bad things are cannot be a good sign. I know we had some fans who were saying we could 'bully' Tim and the show into giving us more Tommy but I think that was a massive mistake in hindsight. I think certain people got carried away and went way too far. Weather their intentions were ever bad or not I just think some people took the bullying idea too far. I'm a little worried we may not see Tommy at all now.

A. The bullying idea was always going to be a massive mistake. Normally you can take Tim's interviews with a bit of 'lol, why is he so dramatic' because he's not immune to getting his feelings hurt, and using his interviews to tell people that. In this case though it was definitely a direct callout. I have been here from the beginning and the show has never experienced anything close to what they have experienced this off-season. It's one thing to root for a particular show ship it's another thing entirely to openly send, and openly encourage others, to send hate to the cast and creators of a show. Then those same fans dragged the lighting director, director of photography, show directors and professional media members who have covered the show for years into their bullying game as well. It was insane, pathetically immature behavior. At times it was also incredibly disturbing. And every single bit of it can be traced back to the cameo videos. The second the storyline they were paying to be told didn't match the storyline we were actually watching they revolted.

And unfortunately because I think Tim, and ABC, just didn't think they were anything worth paying attention to initially, he was allowed to do them way too long. The more he did the more obsessed with him that particular group of people became. This has nothing to do with 911. Those people aren't at all interested in 911. Their entire interest is Lou and Lou alone. It's a small group of people. A small sick group of people who created a bunch of separate accounts in order to appear to be more people than they actually are (and they were stupid enough to openly admit that is what they did). Then that small group of people got together and from every single one of their many accounts they attacked as a group. They started with Oliver. They pointed out that Oliver wasn't interacting with Lou or engaging with any of them, or B/T content, and decided, at least initially, that he was solely to blame for B/T not getting the attention they thought it deserved, again the Buck part they don't care about. They were upset that they weren't seeing more of Tommy and they blamed Oliver for that. Suddenly Oliver was being tagged in posts that were calling him unprofessional, immature, bratty, selfish, and because of course, homophobic (they're really not a bright group of people). However instead of taking their bait and engaging with them, Oliver, rightly, blocked them. Meaning they needed a new target. Briefly it became Tim because their moronic leader screenshot a message she sent him that he, stupidly, responded to. She took that and spun and ENTIRE relationship theory and spread it through her many accounts. Tim then admitted in another comment that he actually didn't know what she was talking about but didn't want to be rude by continuing to ignore her so he responded to her. He then said that was a mistake and he wouldn't be responding to anything else. And he hasn't (she should be very embarrassed by his interview today because he may as well have used her name). And the show also continued to not align with her/their theory and they got more upset. Then found a new target.

Throughout the season Oliver did what Oliver has always done. Oliver posted, liked and promoted Eddie/Buddie/Buckley Diaz family content. He has always done this. This was nothing new. But it infuriated Lou's fans and they turned their anger on Ryan. Suddenly Eddie was the worst character in the history of television. He was an abuser (to Buck especially), he was a user (of Buck especially). He was a terrible friend (to Buck especially). Depending on the day he was either a deadbeat dad or obsessed with his kid in an unhealthy way (they couldn't ever really decide which way to go on this one. That opinion was dependent on how the poster felt about Chris). When that attack didn't really get the attention they were begging for, they changed direction and made it personal. Post after post, that Ryan was always tagged in, calling him racist, a deadbeat dad, an asshole, unprofessional, manipulative and controlling of Oliver (wtf, god they really are a stupid group of people), a whore (I actually read that one myself, it was a trip), a terrible actor that only has a job because Tim thinks he's hot. And so on and so on. At first Tommy didn't kiss Eddie because Ryan is homophobic and refused to do the storyline, then Tim, very publicly, corrected that lie so Lou's fans had to pivot and said Lou actually refused to do the Eddie storyline because he knows Ryan isn't a good guy ( a special kind of crazy that makes me need to drink ). Then they sunk to their sickest, lowest, most pathetic, vile, disturbing, and inexcusable moment. Ryan did a podcast where he discussed his past mental health struggles and suicidal thoughts. They went into the comments on the podcast and told Ryan that they wish he had committed suicide. That if he had killed himself then Tommy could have his screen time and they wouldn't have to see Buck have scenes with Eddie. Not only did they leave those comments (the podcast has since deleted most of them, thankfully), they sent similar messages directly to Ryan on Instagram. Knowing he would see them. It was appalling and very, very disturbing. The cameo videos ended fairly shortly after. These people are sick. They get zero sympathy or understanding from me. It's a fucking television show. Tommy is not a real person. Ryan is a real person.

As for maybe not seeing Tommy at all, I would imagine conversations have certainly taken place. He was never sticking around permanently. The conversations most likely involved deciding if they needed him at all, and if they did, how many actual scenes did they need him for. I don't work on the show, but if they decided he wasn't necessary to the storyline, and they could get away with his stuff happening off screen I would imagine he's been dismissed. They probably decided they needed him at least for a few scenes though. Unless other things happened behind the scenes we're not aware of he will be around the first few episodes at least and then and probably no more. He can take his tiny army with him when he leaves. No one will miss them.

Okay, just ... yeah, all of this. It's crazy how these people did all of these horrible things in the name of... a ship? I mean, what?

I've been in fandom for a very long time and I have been shipping characters for a very long time, but I've never seen behaviour like this. Behaviour where people think they are justified to bully, harass and vilify the actors playing a character on a TV-show. To the point where they get blocked by the actors and crew.

I don't understand what would drive someone to do that? I genuinly don't.

These are the kind of people that need to put down their phones forever, go outside and touch all the grass they can touch. After that they should never watch 911 again. If you don't like something, just walk away. I have done that before. Shows don't always go where a fan wants it to go.

Look. I want Buddie. You all know that. I'm 99% certain that we're getting Buddie in season 8. But, if it turns out we won't, which is always a possibility since I don't know what Tim is cooking up, I will be disappointed, but I won't start spewing hatred all over the place. I will just take a step back and focus on other things in life. I'll keep shipping Buddie and read fanfiction. I'll be fine here in my Buddie corner of the Internet with my Buddie mutuals.

So yeah, this is insane behaviour to me. I truly don't get it.

Thanks Nonny for dropping this in my inbox!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting these anon OP updates instead of reblogging. Don't get mad at me. There is a reason for it and it's all done with consent from the OP. You can find out more about that here.

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[iskratempestmadness]

The characters of "Baki the grappler" and the language of love

Baki:

Touching

Baki is one of the most tactile characters. And it is also important for him that you also express your love physically. Hugs, kisses, holding hands, even just a pat on the shoulder will do for him. It's just that it's important for him to feel that you're with him and you're safe.

Hanayama:

Gifts

He is not mercantile. He is not a materialist. Oh no. It's just that, as I've told you before, it's difficult for him to express his feelings in words. He is also limited in his actions. And he can't spend the desired amount of time with you. But despite this, he really likes to put on your smile when he gives you another gift.

Katsumi:

Time or quality forwarding time

Oooh, it's hard to define his love language, but still he tends to do just that. And he appreciates it. From simple silence in each other's campaign to experiments and joint hobbies. Why this particular view? He likes the idea of your memories together. Definitely in old age, the phrase " Do you remember how we learned to surf together? Yes, you often fell off the board. Hehe, it was a funny sight... Maybe we should go to the sea again, don't you think? "

Jack:

Words

It's difficult for him. He would prefer to show his feelings by actions. But he understands perfectly well how important words are. For him and for you. Jack tries to compliment you, thank you for even the smallest things, say "I love you" before going to bed, and a lot of similar things. It really means to him that you know that he loves you. And don't forget to return the favor. This boy needs to be praised as often as possible, he deserves it.

Retsu:

Help

Retsu is a conscious person and he prefers to show his love not by word, but by deed. It's just more practical. And it's also a way to make sure that everything will be 100% fine with you and you won't have to strain yourself over trifles. Like you came home tired from work and didn't have time to clean the house? It's not a problem, because he's already done it, there's no point in straining. It is important for Retsu that you are happy and comfortable, so he will do everything to make your life easier.

Shibukawa:

Time

For him, time is a resource. You know, when people get older, they start to appreciate time more. So he shares with you what is valuable to him. And he likes it. Perhaps before you entered into a relationship, he directed this resource only to himself, and he could not think that sharing it could be so pleasant. He shares it with you... Almost all the time. From reading a book together to training.

Yujiro:

Words

Yes, you can't tell from him, but this. However, this love language is different from Jack's love language. No cute phrases, no compliments. For him, it's trivial. He starts giving you advice, voicing his thoughts about certain situations. Do you think that this is not enough? Look who it is. This is Yujiro Hanma. He was always on his own mind. And it is difficult for him to open up to another person, there is a feeling of insecurity. So this is for him a manifestation of love in the highest degree.

Doppo:

Touching

Yes, he has lived enough, but touching is still important to him. It's just that they make it easier to express emotions and feelings. Like, he starts to feel worried about you when something doesn't work out, so he'll hug you, pat you on the back and say a few encouraging words. And reciprocity is also important for him, because there is nothing better than to return from training and receive affection from his beloved.

Olive:

Gifts

Well, what else? He likes to give gifts. And not just gifts, but the BEST gifts. Look, he has enough money to do this. So everything is most dear to you. And he loves your smile when you get them. She will always remain in his heart. And Oliva does not require gifts in return, your sincere reaction is really enough for him. However, he wouldn't mind accepting something made by your hands.

Shiba:

Touching

This guy just loves you so much that he can't keep his hands to himself. You are always happy with him, and his hands are always on you. In private, he won't let you out of his arms, in public, his hand is chained to your waist. And despite the appearance, Shiba is gentle, he is certainly ready to give you his love, but he also wants to receive something in return. Even a crumb will be enough for him. Just straighten his clothes or give him tired shoulders and it will make him shine.

[marimayscarlett]

hi! :) since fans have gotten richard and paul those paulchard flags, banners, pieces of fabric (you know what i mean) during the boat ride a few shows ago, i'm a bit cautious about people taking things a little ... further than they have been before

in my understanding, in fandom spaces, it's mostly agreed upon to keep shipping stuff in those fandom spaces and away from the band members/real life. i say mostly, because people that go overboard are everywhere, and we don't know what kind of stuff the band has been exposed to in the past during meet and greets, signing sessions and so on. on the other hand, i'm not really on instagram, so i don't know what has been going on over there. nevertheless, i've read something about a past girlfriend of richard having been harassed on insta around 2019 when richard and paul first started kissing after ausländer – don't know if i remember that one correctly, though. and with paul being in a long-term relationship, i feel a bit weird about people bringing the shipping name up close to them; or maybe that's just me? i was wondering about how the behavior of one fan might encourage another ones behavior encouraging someone else even further, and so on. though i'm fully aware that everyone is responsible for their own actions. am i taking things too seriously? the band has had years of experience with fans and popularity after all, and i can imagine them being careful with, for example, searching certain things up online

i was curious about your point of view on all this :)

Hey,

Thank you for your detailed message, which I find really balanced and thoughtful! It's an interesting topic, and I've often thought about it, as well as the Paulchard ship itself. I might ramble a bit, sorry.

First of all, I have to admit that I was a bit taken aback when I saw the footage with the flags, as this was the first time a direct contact about this to the band was made. It felt like a fourth wall was being broken - kind of hard to describe. I'm convinced that both of them have some concept of what Paulchard or shipping in general is - Richard had fanfiction/slash explained to him in this interview once and seemed quite neutral, almost positive, about it. Additionally, they both display a clear affection for each other outwardly, so it shouldn't be surprising that specific shipping structures develop from that. I think the dynamic between Paul and Richard is so interesting and attractive to many because a lot has happened in their history. Close collaboration and friendship from the start (x), intense disagreements, fundamentally different personality traits, fiery tempers, strong opinions (x), and yet they seem to have found their way back to each other on a personal level, thanks in part to external mediation (for example by Schneider). They appear to be an emotional support for each other on tour; I get the impression Richard needs this closeness or expressed affection, and Paul seems to have a sense of what his counterpart needs and shows Richard his appreciation, whether on stage or backstage. It's just lovely to see how they've developed over the decades. Their relationship has such a strong humanity with a wide range of emotions, and coupled with the displayed tenderness, it's just very good shipping material, objectively speaking.

I had a feeling that there would be some kind of confrontation about the topic at some point, especially since 2019. I'm glad it was such a 'tame' approach, a sweet flag with a drawing and a heart (even though a drawing of the two without the 'Paulchard forever' would have sufficed). Still, I think this step is enough, and there shouldn't be more actions like this. Rubbing it in their faces more would be unnecessary and unneeded. This is where common sense should kick in. The fact is that Paul and Richard are not together; regarding their sexuality, it's not my place to make definitive statements, but Paul has been with Arielle for ages, and Richard has had numerous longer and shorter relationships with women. So, comments on IG, whether on family members', partners', or Paul and Richard's accounts, are absolutely inappropriate, disrespectful, and detached from reality. We mustn't forget that these are real people with real relationships and feelings, and we really don't need to rub it in their faces. I think shipping in fandom circles is fine, but there must be respect for the individuals in direct interactions, and family members should definitely be kept out of it.

As I said, I found the flag cute and sweet, but more doesn't need to happen imo. I'm also a bit worried that this might inspire others to do something that is too much, which I hope won't happen. In conclusion, I must commend both Richard and Paul for how they handled the situation. Both were mildly interested and took the flag without making a big deal out of it.

Thank you to @m---e---l for gathering some thoughts about this ask and discussing this with me 🤍

[itsbansheebitch]

How to Word THIS

I tried rewriting this post so many times. I'm going to try bullet points instead.

I think all of these are good/true:

From my experience as an afab person raised similarly to a boy due to my father wanting a boy, I can confidently say that the emotional suppression that men and boys experience on a daily basis is frankly, inhumane.

Parents shouldn't speculate their kid(s) gender/sexuality/etc just because their kid is showing certain behaviors/having certain interests that aren't stereotypical for their assigned gender.

Parents should allow kids space to explore gender/sexuality, but make sure not to push them into anything.

Parents should allow their kids space to explore gender/sexuality, but make sure that their kid is first and foremost SAFE and HAPPY.

Emotional suppression is expected of men/boys, but science agrees that emotional suppression is in short, BAD FOR YOU.

"Be a man" is often used as a slap in the face to keep men/boys in line. You can imagine this isn't ideal if a boy is reporting bullying in school or a man is trying to bring up unsafe working conditions.

A lot of women have trauma about men (including myself), but this doesn't mean that a whole marginalized group should be excluded from sports (We're not going to re-segregate sports just because some people have trauma related to black people, are we?)

Men & boys' emotions should not only be accepted but ENCOURAGED!

Black men's emotions have been demonized for CENTURIES. Make sure to raise an eyebrow when you hear a black man experiencing anger described as "animalistic" or described with any other dehumanizing language.

Stop expecting men to do things you don't expect women to do! If you don't expect women to chase CEO positions, don't ask why a man isn't a CEO yet! Just like how you shouldn't expect a woman to be a wife and mother by 25 if that's not what you're expecting of men. And if you are having those kinds of standards then maybe lower them because both sides and both genders are extremely unrealistic!

Men aren't given the tools to describe their emotions! If you are wondering what a man thinks about a topic, a decision, etc, give them time to respond and let them know they have time to think! Give them time to think about their answer. If they want (ASK) you can offer an Emotion Wheel or a few (metaphorical) Mad Libs for them to start their answer with.

Alexithymia (also known as emotional colorblindness) is a phenomenon when someone has trouble describing their emotions. They feel all their emotions normally, but they struggle describing them or giving them detail.

Normative Male Alexithymia is a type of Alexithymia. It is called "Normative Male..." because in a lot of cultures (specifically western cultures) it is normal for men to suppress their emotions to the point of having trouble recalling names of emotions or describing them in detail when asked.

Alexithymia/Normative Male Alexithymia is a BIG reason why a lot of men struggle in therapy. It is also the reason why I, myself struggled (to communicate my thoughts) in therapy. Because I was raised to suppress my emotions and not communicate my thoughts.

I truly believe that if my upbringing was even a HINT a SLICE a BREATH a WHISPER a TINY BIT of what the average boy's upbringing is like, then our collective, societal treatment of men and boys is inhumane and inexcusable.

I know any boy or man that makes a post even hinting something like this would be attacked. This isn't me being a pick-me, this is me telling you that my dad was prepared to raise boys, he got girls, and I got a VERY different perspective because of it. I'm telling you right now that if how I was treated was even a hint of what the average boy gets growing up, then we owe men an apology. I'm not joking. This is not satire.

People talk about intersectionality, but rarely actually NAME boys and men as being a part of the discussion (unless they're the "villain"). I think we should do so more often. They are ALSO getting the short end of the stick. (Expecting to be part of an "Atom Family" and work ALL DAY??? NO THANKS)

[melimelissa998]

Slut!

Jungkook x Reader

Summary: You knew how handsome Jungkook was, but you also knew you didn't have a chance with him, so to befriend him was a safer option. But sometimes being kind can give the wrong idea...

“Did, you, hear?�� my coworker Daniela asks with big pauses in between, I’m too busy with my morning reports that I didn’t notice when she sat on my desk “The new guy is going to be working on our floor for a few weeks” she informs me and I nod “Yep, you texted, emailed and told me that on the phone before I got here Dany” I say without taking my eyes off the computer screen.

Almost a month ago a new guy started working here and that’s all this office has been talking about since then. How handsome he is, how good he dresses, how lovely he talks… and the list goes on and on. Even though he had a month here, I haven’t actually seen him, besides, I went off vacations the week he started working on our floor.

Honeslty at this point he's not even the new guy anymore

“He’s just so handsome, his name is Jeon Jungkook, he’s a Virgo, 5’11”, went to Global Cyber University, and I swear, I’m in love.” She puts one hand on her chest and fans herself with the other. “Aw, good for you, stalker.” I say in a sarcastic tone “. I except my wedding invitation” I joke with a fake smile and she lets out an exaggerated sight. “He’s in the conference room with Namjoon and Taehyung, want to pass by to see him?” She suggests and gives me a small push on the shoulder “Did you say pass the conference room to see the new guy?” Jennie’s head pops out of her cubicle, I try not to laugh but I give in and accept “Only because it’s on my way to the cafeteria and I want my coffee” I say and she claps in excitement, I turn off my screen and hop off my chair. Jennie walks around the desk to loop her arm with mine and tugs me to start walking. As we pass by the long window, I spot the 3 men inside the room; Namjoon and Tae are facing our direction leaning on the meeting table talking to the Jungkook, who was giving his back to us. “Ugh, I swear he’s so handsome” Jennie says in a whisper, “I know right?” Daniela agrees, I try to look behind her head to take a better look at the new guy, but I only catch a glimpse of his profile. He has black hair and a really cute nose; his jaw looks really sharp and I see how many earrings he has and I think that’s what shocks me the most. “I can’t see his face but yeah he looks cute” I compliment, they agree with a giggle and I feel dumb remembering we are not teenagers anymore but sure act like it in the office.

While finishing our coffee and telling my friends how my vacations were, I hear the attempt of whispers coming from a certain area in the room, the 3 of us turn to see why there were loud whispers and it was all because the new guy was entering the cafeteria. I take a better look at him, handsome indeed. “Oh, so now I see why we’re all drooling for him.” I say and look at Daniela and she wiggles her eyebrows at me.“I heard Ari invited him for a drink and he said no” Jennie tells us and I can’t help but grimace. “Yeah? I heard it was Jihyo who invited him for dinner?” Daniela says in a question tone. “Her, Ari, Hanna and even Supervisor Yuri asked him out, but he keeps rejecting people, I mean come on, Ari? Who says no to her? Like the hottest one from the office?” Jennie rolls her eyes and I can’t help but laugh at her frustration. “Come on, he’s been here less than a month, let him breath.” I defend the poor guy, Daniela gives me a small push “You should ask him out Y/N, he looks like your type” she encourages me and I shake my head “Nop, if he rejected Ari and Hanna AND supervisor Yuri, then no.”

I take the last sip of my coffee and trash it out. Jennie and Daniela do the same and as we walk out the cafeteria, I hear someone call out the unfamiliar name of ‘Jungkook’ andby instinct I turn to see who called his name, I see there’s a coworker in front of Jungkook and he half smiles at her. I see his face with a “here we go again” expression, she gives him a small box with a bow on it and hear her ask if they could talk in private. I can’t help to chuckle thinking how we were just talking about this, he must’ve heard me because he turns to look at my direction, he stares at me but I can’t read if he’s mad about my laugh or just casually felt my gaze on him; I don’t turn away, I like how his eyes are dark brown but I still see a sparkly cute glow in them that make me want to keep staring. I start to feel conscious about how I haven't taken my eyes off him so I turn around a little ashamed and keep walking straight out of there back to my desk again.

Around 12, I feel so bored and try to distract myself with anything else I can do until I have my lunch break in 30 more minutes, so I decide to make Jimin a visit to his office to catch up on my days off, I take a fake deck of papers and walk to the elevator to go up, when I arrive to his floor, I greet his assistant and let her know that I need Jimin to sign a few documents; “Of course you do Miss Y/N” she jokes “He’s already waiting for you” she points with her head to his office and I try to not laugh.

Jimin and I meet here at work, even though we were side by side cubicle we would only exchange ‘HI’s’ and ´Good mornings´ the first couple of months, but one day I saw him reading one of my favorite books and started chatting more and book clubbing during our lunch hour, then he got promoted to a higher position and moved 2 floors higher, but even so we still kept meeting up and sneak in his office to gossip or just hide from our work responsibilities slash wait until lunch to run off.

I knock on his door and don’t wait to hear him say come in, “Excuse me Mr. Park, I need your very important signature on these reports” I fake a serious tone and I see him panic for a second before realizing it’s just me. “Oh Y/N! you’re back” he gets up and walks to hug me.

We sit on his sofa and catch up about work, my vacations, a few gossips that’s been going around the company and of course we talk about Jungkook.

He talks about how they already knew each other before work because of Tae, he also told me how done he’s with all the girls at the company because they keep flirting with him. “I’m telling you, on the first day he had already like 8 sticky notes in his office with their numbers” he kept telling me, I didn’t want to laugh because I did feel bad for Jungkook, but I couldn’t believe how crazy they were for him, “I mean he is handsome, but oh my god, I would never do that” I say and he smirks at me “Oh so you won’t ask him out?” he asks and I shake my head “Oh hell no, I know where I stand here” I say and he rolls his eyes “Don’t say that, you are very pretty, you may have a shot” he encourages me “I know I’m pretty.” I brush my hair behind my shoulder “. But I also know when I have my shot” I shrug my shoulders and try to change the topic about what we were going to have for lunch.

Jimin and I pick a restaurant near the office close enough to walk to and invite our friends to join us. As we sit at our table Namjoon asks if it’s okay if Jungkook could join us, which we said it was fine, Jennie and I look at each other and giggled. The only chair free by the time Jungkook arrives is the one next to me and even if I told myself I wouldn’t try to ask him out that didn’t make me not be nervous. He greets us and we say hi back.

During our lunch I felt Jungkook too quit and I didn’t want him to feel left out “So Jungkook, how do you like the job so far?” I ask him and he turns a little confused at me “It’s fine, I’m okay” he answers and I expect for a little more than that but I realize that was all he is going to give me. I nod a little embarrassed and try again “That’s nice, and what about the city? Jimin told me you were from Busan” I do the small talk but again he answers with a few words “It’s nice, almost the same” I feel even more stupid and turn to finish my food.

And to think they said he was lovely…

For the rest of the lunch he would keep a conversation with the boys and that kinda made me a bit mad how he would chat with them but made me feel small…

2.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to date my friend?

I met this friend in college and when we first started talking, they told me about various friendships they’d had where they developed feelings for very close friends who did not end up feeling the same way. In those friendships, the object of their affection usually asked for some space from them after they confessed their feelings, which would lead them to feel deeply depressed. It was all framed as if it was problematic of those other friends to reject this person, and problematic of them to request space or (in some cases) an end to the friendship. I was just getting to know this person and felt sympathy for them. They ended up developing feelings for me and asked me out after a few months. I’m not the most assertive person and have trouble saying no. I tried to politely decline, saying I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship, but they insisted that wouldn’t be a problem and it would all work out. Not feeling like I could reject them, I said I would go on a date with them the next semester. That date never ended up happening as I had a crush on someone else who I ended up sexting over the summer. My friend was really hurt that I did that, and said we should postpone our date while they worked through their feelings about the situation, but they didn’t want a break from our friendship and didn’t want to stop having feelings for me. We ended up staying friends for a couple years after that incident, during which time they maintained romantic feelings for me that I did not reciprocate, which they fully knew. I wasn’t allowed to date other people during that time because they said it would hurt their feelings and make them jealous, so we were both celibate during that time. This made me really bitter and resentful towards them, but I didn’t feel like I could end the friendship because of their past experiences. The resentment would bubble up as arguments that would get pretty intense, where I would be trying to get some distance from them and they would become angry, and then I would become angry and say some pretty hurtful things. At a certain point I ended up in a psych ward (unrelated to this situation), and while I had space from them I ended our friendship by writing them a letter. We had a group of mutual friends who tried to be friends with both of us, but I was so angry about the past few years that I would talk shit about them to our mutual friends. Most of those friends ended up cutting me off for that behavior, which I can understand now, but I did have one friend who would join in and encourage me. At the time I labeled my friend as an abuser for controlling my ability to date other people, and that mutual friend (who encouraged the shit-talking) told them about it, and then they ended up calling me the abuser, and the rest of the friend group agreed. The friend who would shit talk with me actually ended up dating the friend who had feelings for me, which to this day is still confusing. Pretty much once they started dating, that last mutual friend cut me off as well. I know I didn’t handle the situation in the best way, and should have just rejected them initially rather than trying to maintain a friendship that made me bitter, and that the shit talking was wrong too, but I also think it was wrong for them to control my dating life and for our mutual friend to shit talk them with me only to end up dating them once I was out of the picture. So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[annierosaart]

Exusiai, Sankta Empathy and why she's unique

With @ouroborosorder's encouragement, I've decided to make a full post about this topic, because it's been destroying my brain for the past month.

Mainly, after reading Guide Ahead, Enforcer's files and seeing all of Exusiai's appearances, I've noticed a lot of implications about her character that are killing me inside.

Those being that she's cut off from the Empathy, like Mostima (and Enforcer! More on that in a bit), and always has been, and that cascaded into an extreme amount of isolation and trauma for her.

I'll explain this bit by bit, because it is. A lot. So, read more!

The Empathy, falling and being cut off from it.

As we know from Mostima, when Sankta fall, they lose not just their patron gun, but also their emotional connection to other Sankta. This is common knowledge of course. But what's less common is the fact that you don't need to fall to lose that connection.

Falling causes it, but we have another canonical, explicit example of it happening without that, and a heavily implied one.

The canonical explicit one being one of the protagonists of the Guide Ahead event:

Enforcer, aka Ezell himself! We find this out through his Post-E2 dialogue:

While this can be interpreted a few ways... The CN text is much less ambiguous;

"萨科塔人能察觉互相的心情，这在我们之间是一种不必特地强调的常识。但是很遗憾，在某个时刻，我忽然发现自己失去了那种同族间的感应。不是身体上的病变，我只是......开始思考。"

Roughly translating to:

"Sankta can sense each other's moods, and this is a common fact among us that does not need to be specially emphasized. But sadly, at some point, I suddenly found myself losing that sense of communion/kinship among my people. It wasn't any form of injury/ailment, I just …… started thinking."

What this is implying is pretty clear. Falling is not the only way to lose that connection, being different enough, independent enough, also cuts you off from it. Which leads me to my next point that ties this all together:

How this relates to Exusiai

It's no secret by now that Exusiai was treated like shit by Laterano. But something that stood out to me about her treatment was that, after Guide Ahead, we learned most Sankta are quite like her. So why is she unique? Why was she treated differently for her actions?

Well.

From the get go, her file reveals that she's different from most Sankta:

"She is different from most Laterano in that she is an unabashed optimist." - File 1

"Exusiai is my polar opposite. She seems to get along fine with anyone, but lets very few people close to her." — Texas

Weirdly specific things to mention, which get even stranger when you read her module.

It feels weird for her to be grilled so hard on something like this, especially when we know that her incidents were all legitimate accidents (as per Texas's record). Why? Because, if she's a Sankta, it should be easy, or at least, easier, for the counselors to believe what she's saying if she's telling the truth.

Instead, they accuse her of lying, hiding something, of being a Sarkaz (racism alert)... Despite the fact that it's difficult for Sankta to hide things like that from others. Because of their connection with each other. So why do they treat her like this?

They even prove her point by hurting themselves with her gift, she never means to hurt anyone, so why do they treat her so harshly?

Because she's never had this connection.

From the accounts we get of her childhood, we know she's been:

Ditched multiple times by her sister and Mostima, despite the fact that Lemuen cares immensely for Exusiai, so, the fact this is a repeat occurrence feels out of character for her. Why would she hurt Exusiai so blatantly?

Has canonical PTSD from the Kazdel incident, enough that she gets upset just thinking about it, and again, no one who could have felt that did anything to comfort her. Otherwise, she wouldn't be so obsessed with getting closure on it.

(Just like a certain phoenix....)

We know the Sankta literally celebrated her leaving, despite the fact Sankta destroy shit daily, just for funsies. She was chased down by the Notarial Hall because???

All of these feel so odd, contradictory, if she was connected to the other Sankta. That's a big if. Because the truth is, it all makes sense if we go with the big possibility that she just... Never had it to begin with.

It explains why she's treated harshly, unfairly. Why she doesn't let people get close, why she's seemingly "gullible", because she was surrounded by people who were "in on it", while she never was.

It's especially emphasized by her record medal, that draws attention to how she makes her own choices, despite seemingly being a "standard Sankta".

This recontextualizes her entire character, because frankly? Her happy-go-lucky attitude is a big fucking mask. We just need to look at two of her lines to see this. Her idle line, and her promotion 2 line.

Her promotion 2 line would only happen in the context of her being trusted, and trusting the Doctor in return, with their life and her own life, respectively.

"Leader… No, savior, I pledge to this gun in my hand to protect you until the very end of this world."

Which comes off as out of nowhere for such an unserious girl, doesn't it? And then, you have her idle line, which only happens when the Doctor is assumed to be asleep... And thus not listening to her.

"…Lord, is this someone we gotta save too?"

We see this mask slip away every time Mostima is involved, when people get hurt, she suddenly turns dead serious, quiet. Reserved. Not at all like the Exusiai we assume her to be.

Closer to a... Lemuel.

Hell, she even canonically drinks the most out of all the PL members. Do with that what you will.

Further proof is her kindness. She's canonically the kindest, most generous member of PL. And we see that a lot, she tries to keep Bison up to date on what's going on, she worries for her friends being hurt, she dives head first into danger for them. Despite the fact none of them are Sankta.

When it's canon that Sankta are just... Cold. Distant towards other races, because of their Empathy with each other. It's only natural. Yet, she manages to be kind all the same. Understanding all the same.

And this all truly comes together when you realize Sankta can just... Lose that connection.

To summarize:

The implications of Exusiai's character, of Lemuel's character is that she's one of the few non-fallen Sankta who also lack a connection to other Sankta, and that... That has colored how she acts around people. How she deals with the Kazdel incident. How she copes.

Exusiai's entire personality is a coping mechanism.

One that falls away when she lets her guard down. One that's deeply unhealthy-- She's broke all the time, she's constantly mentioned getting drunk, she doesn't let anyone in, she doesn't talk about her issues.

She ends up paralleling a lot of Fiammetta's character in a way that I adore. She needs a hug. She needs closure. Someone who gets it. And Fiammetta would.

As a bonus:

Fiammetta is weirdly protective of Exusiai.

(From Mostima's Record)

Fiammetta's medal text weirdly parallels Exusiai's...

Fiammetta says these after seeing Mostima blatantly toy with Exusiai's feelings all night...

Food for thought.

Sorry if this is disjointed, I just. Have a lot to say about her.

[bobbydagen24]

tbh I think Peppy Dying in a Future film could be a good story Decision because of what it could lead to for the characters.

hear me out I swear this isn't just because I Dislike Peppy for all his lies 😂😂😂😂

like I feel his death would work really well as a consequence for Poppy's actions and a proper Arc for her to learn through as so far Despite Technically having character Arcs

poppy seems to mostly stay the same Due to everything still always working out her way in the end like in World Tour it was shown she had a problem listenening to other people

and acknowledging that all the Tribes Differences were a good thing and they couldn't just Hug it out and be friends in the end except that's literally what happened.

I'm not saying the Tribes should have gone to war or anything but the movie seemingly has Poppy learn she's wrong and then Validates her by having her get exactly what she originally wanted proving her right.

same thing happens in TBT she has a narrow view on family always being an automatic good thing Disregards Branch's feelings at the start in the name of unconditional forgiveness

only to seemingly learn later on that it isn't that simple and family can be broken and toxic only to then have the family come back together in the end for no other reasons other than family is always great and you should always forgive them no matter what.

once again a seemingly good arc somewhat ruined by Poppy's original feelings being proven Right in the end so in future what if we saw some similar behaviour from her

where maybe she just wants to Resolve things peacefully with a Dangerous Villain Group Despite other people warning her

which Results in them meeting with them only to fall into an ambush and very nearly die and Peppy ends up having to sacrifice himself to save Poppy and Viva.

and this has a few interesting points it can lead to imo

Poppy can feel guilt and blame herself for her dads death finally her actions had consequences she can't just wave away and this kinda perfectly leads to another moment of Branch picking her up after she's down and broken because he knows what its like to blame yourself for a parental figure's death even tho Poppy would point out he was just a kid and she was a leader who should have known better he still points out she was simply trying to do her best like she always does and what mainly matters now is how you let it change you since he let his Trauma change him for the worse to the point he made himself miserable and he doesn't want Poppy to go down the same Road of self Blaming and misery. 2. it gives an interesting bit of Tragedy to Viva given her and her Dad were separated for such a long time and only just got each other back so this would make for a sad bit of extra Viva angst. and maybe even causes a Brief Rift between her and Poppy due to her somewhat Blaming poppy's choices for Peppy's death. 3. I feel that either way Poppy chooses to Deal with the antagonist from this point on would be interesting and would make her overall character stronger imo as either she can accept that her original way of trying to resolve things peacefully isn't always a valid option and Decide that in this case the Villain does just need to be stopped with good old fashioned force. or she can stick to her morals even in the face of Great Tragedy and still in the end try to reach across the aisle to the Villain to Resolve things without anyone else needing to get hurt or killed. in which case a lot of people may not agree with her but it would be a strong character moment that shows a certain strength. as so far Poppy only seems to preach forgiveness and peace making tactics when it comes to people who haven't wronged her personally like letting Barb off the Hook and even befriending her at the end of World Tour despite her enslaving countless people or encouraging Branch to forgive his own family for abandoning him or giving a sympathetic shoulder to Crimp even tho she stood by and let Floyd be tortured because she didn't wanna lose her Job. Hell the only instance where you could say Poppy actually proves she stands by her none violent second chances morals is in the tv shows where she even gives second chances to people who wronged her personally like Creek. but in the cannon of the movies Poppy has never really had to do that so I feel it would be interesting to see in the main movies. that is assuming they take her Development in that Direction like I said they could go the other way and have her finally accept she's wrong about some of her view points either way I feel it would make for interesting Development for her that would work best if the personal element of losing her Dad was added to it. what do you think?

[chirpsythismorning]

I'm not going to say we should take every single thing official Netflix accounts post as gospel, because obviously they are not run by the Duffer Brothers themselves.

But to be clear, these people are hired by Netflix and there's more to it than just random interns scheduling posts. The people running these accounts are not the same people designing the posts made there, just like the people designing those posts have higher ups telling them what to do/not do in terms of the content they are creating. And there are plenty more levels that go beyond that, which eventually does lead to the Duffers and producers of the show, who do have a stake in how the show is promoted on a basic level to best align with their intentions and all the revelations still to come.

It is common knowledge that the Duffers work with Netflix marketing directly on a consistent basis to get their vision across, and that carries out in promotion with posters, merchandise, social media, etc., because it's really important in ST case (with it being a show made by nerds that love easter eggs), that they foreshadow what is still to come outside of the show itself.

When it comes to social media, the core purpose of those accounts is to encourage engagement for Netflix's user base, ideally ensuring they tune in to whatever is being promoted (and more), but it’s also more than that, in that it’s even more based on data and other factors.

What this leads to is the people in those less major decision-making roles, like graphic designers, simply being advised what to create, based on the information and content they are given to work with.

And so these accounts going from promoting byler subtly for years, to blatantly posting about it post-s5, is actually very, very intentional, going beyond a simple Netflix intern. It’s orchestrated by those in management positions, being advised by those in the ST production to do things a certain way, so that when all is said and done, we are able to look back and find tiny little things that point to it.

Byler can't be something they NEVER talked about even once on social media, only to have them end up being endgame with them posting about it forever afterwards when it's all said and done. It doesn't work like that, at least not in ST case. We're talking about a production that costs hundreds of millions to make, as well as being the most talked about mainstream series of our generation.

They have an obligation to make their story feel not only satisfying on its own, but to also promote the show in a way that makes the viewer feel this whole well-rounded experience, outside of the show itself as well.

And so when ST came out in summer 2022 and Netflix Geeked was making posts about it non-stop, that wasn't a rogue, low-paid Netflix intern doing whatever they wanted. That was multiple people with a job given a task and following through with it at their advisers discretion. Regardless of where it ended up, it started at the top with the Duffers informing higher ups in marketing that Byler is something that will happen, along with other revelations that they want to inform marketing about, so they can take the steps to plan ahead and create content that matches the Duffer's vision, most often to act as a foreshadowing device for the story still unraveling.

Remember when Netflix Geeked made a post acknowledging that Will the Wise drawing in El's room back in s3?? A very well known byler easter egg that only we know about??? That wasn't some ga intern watching the show once and them spontaneously coming up with content to create related to that drawing and posting about it themselves. That was very likely someone associated with the show giving suggestions to marketing, with a few of them being very incriminating in relation to byler, but with most being casual in relation to the show overall.

Just like I said in this post about how Noah didn't tweet about byler or mention it multiple times at cons unprompted bc he was feeling quirky. He was being advised to...

And look what Netflix did to that tweet Noah posted that was clearly a stunt in an of itself.? They broadcasted it and made a cheesy ass edit out of it... And it's bc several people behind the scenes were advised to make content like that specifically.

I mean, if you actually look at how social media promotes byler (if and when it does), it's arguably in the exact way that the Duffers want it to be promoted?. Just enough. Not too little. Not too much. I would argue if the Duffers had no say whatsoever in how the show was promoted, then we'd either be seeing byler constantly or we wouldn't see them at all, instead we see social media sort of dance around it, which tells me they are following the exact approach the Duffers themselves follow... because they were obviously given the instruction to.

And so seeing an account like UK Netflix, an account that as of recent has really went all out with posting Queer content since Heartstopper released, has also notably made really incriminating posts about byler over the years, but especially as of recent. And that's in large part because of what I've stated, but also based on data.

If higher ups in marketing at Netflix know about byler, then they are very likely pushing people lower on the payroll, doing more simple tasks like graphic design and social media management, to make connections to ST with other shows like Heartstopper, Sex Education, Young Royals, etc. And this is because if byler IS going to end up being this huge Queer love story, data is telling them to make these connections sooner than later, so that the eventual revelation will be a smooth transition amongst other content just like it. This works in Netflix's favor at the end of the day, which is the whole point of all of this.

Not saying you should take the most casual of Netflix posts as byler endgame proof if that's what you're asking. But to say that these accounts have NO association with the Duffer's and ST directly, therefore we shouldn’t even appreciate anything they post if it points to byler, is sort of over-simplifying things.

It's not like s5 is gonna drop and all of these interns are going to be like OHHH okay now i'm a byler so i'll post about it... Going into s5 they're going to be making some very side eye posts and it isn't going to have anything to do with them being an intern without any say in things, its gonna be about them getting a task list and following through with it bc it's their job.

[balkanradfem]

If you’re a woman, and you find yourself assuming, planning, or putting effort into something with certain expectations, and then when you get to the point where your expectations should be fulfilled, suddenly you realize none of it is how you imagined, and you start feeling small, foolish, over-optimistic, presumptive, stupid or embarrassed, I want you to know that there’s a huge chance that it’s not your fault, and the situation was, in fact, orchestrated this way.

M*n will orchestrate situations where they give women certain assumptions and expectations, then turn the situation nowhere in that direction. They do it so they would get exactly what they want out of the situation, while giving away nothing but false hope, false expectations, and encouraging false assumptions. You did not have a false assumption because there’s something wrong with you! You were not stupid or over-indulged! It’s been set up for you to feel exactly that way, otherwise you would never indulge, you’d never put effort, hope, energy, expectations or positive assumptions there.

Not only m*n orchestrate simple situations like this (like putting women on the spot where they’re expected to deliver subservience, obedience, forgiveness, their time and company, physical intimacy), but they orchestrate entire institutions and way of life this way. They develop marketing schemes out of that manipulation. They start and keep up relationships by keeping women’s assumptions always positive. They even go as far as to criticize, slander and demonize women whose expectations are anything but the most positive, optimistic and humanizing for them.

Women are supposed to assume every guy is the nice guy, even when walking into the hands of a rapist or a predator. Women are supposed to believe marriage with m*n is a place where they’ll be loved and taken care of, even when there’s a way higher chance of ending up in domestic servitude, or worse, domestic violence and life danger. We’re set up to find ourselves in situations where we either deliver whatever is expected of us, or we’re considered selfish, cruel, evil, leading someone on, and ‘making all other women look bad’. It’s not fair! It’s not fair to keep managing our expectations to remain optimistic, while already planning what to extract from us, all the while holding the card of calling us a slur or becoming violent the second we break the illusion.

When you’re safe to, you should get to call it out. It’s okay to say: “This is not what I was led to believe. This is not why I did all of those things. This is not what you’ve been saying to me all this time. This is not what I was told to expect. This is not what I agreed upon. This is not the expectation you’ve given me and you know it. This is not what I said yes to. You should have told me the truth earlier. You shouldn’t have led me on to believe this is what was about to happen. You shouldn’t have assumed I would keep being polite while you lie to me about what we’re doing here. I’m not partaking in this. You’ve wasted my time.”

If you do this, instead of assuming you’re just silly or naive, in most scenarios you will be completely correct. It’s not naive, foolish, or presumptive to have optimistic expectations, or to believe that people are telling you the truth, that you’re not being led on every time someone gives you positive expectations out of them. But people who would exploit that in you? They deserve to lose everything they hoped to gain by taking advantage of you.

[angelhairpastawithherbs]

I will not try to make this comfortable. There is no way to make it. There never has been and never will. There is no way to make anything that has happened feel better. Because it was not from the very start. I will not make apologies for being mean or sounding harsh. That being said now sexual harassment warning and no matter what you think that is what it was both by what happened and how it was handled and by definition of the term. Shiba has done much of what happened recently before and while the exact parts were of course surprising to me it did not feel any bit shocking to know the way she handled it. While reading please think and make connections between what is said and what she did because it does not have much of the same exact content but it shows that she has done this before and has not learned both because of people encouraging her behavior and not being held accountable. My feelings are not easily explainable because there is not a way to say what it feels like to know she was like this and not be able to say anything before now. I feel frustrated because this did not happen sooner. I feel okay that people finally know. I feel happy almost because they do. I feel a lot of things. I feel nothing at all. I say this because you should know where this is coming from. I did not know if I would ever be able to say any of this and quite frankly I have no desire to but it needs to be done and it has to come from me.

Some of you were friends with her so I knew her at least from every now and then her being around. But I never talked to her directly enough to get to know her or for her to get to know me. That part is very important because it gives you what you need to know for this next part. If you do not know someone then you do not know what they feel good with. It makes sense that you would not make certain risky jokes that you would not make to a complete stranger if this was in say a real restaurant. Long story short there was a post where someone was saying how weird it was that they had designed Leona to have sandles. Not made by her or me but a third party. Because the talk was about his feet I made a joke asking why his toes were so long because it was going off what other people were saying about how jarring it was plus the art style is not helping with the proportions being weird. Remember that she was not the original poster. She asked me if I wanted to suck on them and that was why I was talking about them. Remember we did not even know each other well enough to even know if this was a character both of us liked let alone to know if saying things like that was okay with each other. Had it been someone else maybe it would have been different but point is this was someone who was a stranger and had no business making a comment sexual in nature towards me. Whether you think so or not this was not okay to do and never has been and never will be. No matter what the intention was there was no reason to say thing and she had less that no business saying that. You do not ask someone who you do not know if the reason they said a very simple and very much not even close to sexual little sentence that happened to involve toes about wanting to suck on them. Just having to say this because some people think it is fine to do that is completely disgusting. When I asked her to please get rid of it she did and that was what she should have done so she at least did that. Also remember from before what I said about connecting what she did with this situation to what she did recently. Her apology was literally just saying okay sorry and privated with absolutely nothing else to say on the matter and not caring even though I said it made me feel very bad. Even as strangers she should have known to at least say she would not do it again or that it was something done on impulse which would not make what happened feel better but it would at least show that she actually cared. Being privated was not the issue but the fact that it was plus it being a super half assed not even full sentence does not lend any credibility. This was something she could hide with one person whereas recently it was something that could not be hidden. I posted about what happened a while later because it did not feel good to go without saying anything but keep in mind that nothing said was a direct attack to her and simply had all my feelings about what happened and what moots could do to make me feel better which was unfollowing her at the least and specifically had a paragraph dedicated to telling them not to give hate or bully her. I blocked her and have no clue how she came about knowing since it was generally a very quiet moment and the most said outside the post that directly related to it was a simple hey moots please go there so that they could know about my boundaries regarding the situation.

What happened next made me physically ill because of what I felt after having to both go through it not only a second time but also to be told that I was overreacting is not something that I can put into easy words. As said before, she somehow knew about it and I was then talked to by some of her friends who will not be mentioned directly. They told me that her intentions were not to make me feel bad which is a fair point. However they both went on to say thay there was no reason for the feelings I felt. That I was just overreacting to the situation and also I should think about how she felt about it despite her obviously not caring a lot when she had a chance to make a direct and sincere apology to me. There was quite a bit of time between all parts of what had gone on too. She could have taken the chance to think it over and get someone to say something to me in this same way. She could have been sincere about this and not have had her friends say that my feelings were invalid. There are so many things she could have done and could have made it better and decided not to. Again think where she has chosen to make fun of emotions that she caused in another person and how it must have felt for them and how condescending she was. I did not want to say any of this ever again to anyone and this was not something that comes out easily. While there was much said there is still a fair bit that has not been said. The whole thing still feels like it did when it first started and she has not made a difference with the way she goes about handling things despite knowing damn well the harm she caused others. I do not want to make people feel uncomfortable but if you are feeling that way after this that is because there is nothing good about what happened and there is no way to put it that will make it feel better. She has done similar things before and continued to get away with them until she did something that she thought she could get away with again but this time she went too far and could not escape the fact that she majorly fucked up which caused her to deny and blame the same way she did to me after realizing that was she said to me was not okay. She began digging this hole a long time ago but this time she stood too close to the edge while not thinking of where and when she was now digging and disregarding the warnings from others she had gotten along the way. This small hole has become a sinkhole that will only keep growing the more and more she tries to get out by using the same tactics of shoveling dirt around that made it so wide in the first place and my suggestion is that we do not try to quell this but let her realize again that what she has done is wrong and this time there is nobody to throw her a ladder to get out.

[ener-chi]

Chronic sinus infections run in my family. For most of my life, anytime I would get even the slightest cold - boom, sinus infection, guaranteed. And then I'd have to go to the doc and get some antibiotics and wait for it to clear up in a week or two.

When I was 19, my mother and my grandmother suggested to me that I should get acupuncture for it. At the time, I was a nihilist and very scientifically-minded, and kind of scoffed at the idea. Not to mention, I was never a big fan of needles. BUT what did I have to lose? They were just needles, after all.

So I made an appointment. Between the time that I made an appointment and my actual appointment, I ended up contracting a sinus infection. So I went in for acupuncture.

Not only did the acupuncture make my sinus infection go away without antibiotics - which has never happened before - I've never had one ever again.

That was 7 years ago.

I was astounded and amazed - just pure needles shouldn't have such an effect on my body like that, especially with something that I have always needed antibiotics for. I was very curious, and long story short acupuncture had incredible results for my physical and mental health, changed my belief system, changed my life, and then prompted me to pursue a degree in acupuncture and chinese medicine, where I am now at the end of my first year of school.

This summer, we started taking a class called Acupuncture Techniques. It's the beginnings of us learning different needling techniques and manipulations, and needling each other for the first time.

Each class, we get lecture on some techniques/manipulations, have a demonstration, and then have a list of points for us to try out on a partner. The points are a non-cohesive - designed for us to try different points and different parts of the body. But also, they're picked so that they don't interact with one another and don't have a therapeutic effect on the person that they wouldn't want - a set of points that are harmless and have really no lasting effects.

I have been feeling discouraged and frustrated in this class, because due to lack of time and also other considerations, I would only be able to get through about half the points on the list. I felt like I was falling behind, and also that I was feeling anxious and rushed and as a result wasn't able to feel things as much as I would like.

But in another class, we had a teacher talk about how in certain traditions, the first time people needle another human is their first clinical shift - they spend most of the time learning their techniques on fruit/leather/other objects that we get to practice on. This really eased my anxieties, and helped me realize that it was okay that I wasn't getting all of the points done, and that I would be okay.

But another thing that he mentioned, is that even though they say that the points that we are needling on each other are harmless due to the lack of combination - that's really a myth. Any time you are putting a needle in someone, you are connecting with their Qi, and the Universe, and you are likely to have some kind of therapeutic effect, especially if that's your intention.

This really resonated with me, and I decided that for the last techniques class we had, I wouldn't worry about the number of points or getting points done I hadn't had a chance to yet - I would just focus on doing what the person needed, and giving them a treatment. I really wanted to focus on that, and actually trying to feel and focus on the Qi sensations and interactions.

At the beginning of the term, they encouraged us to find a partner and stick with them for the whole 6 weeks. I ended up having a different partner each week, and decided for the last class that I would continue the trend, and let whoever wanted to work with me, work with me - to let whoever needed treatment from me be aligned with me.

That brings me to today. In class, there were 3 unpaired people that I could've potentially worked with. One girl came up and asked if I wanted to work with her, and I agreed. While I was getting setup, I told her that I wanted to focus more on a therapeutic effect, and asked if there was anything she wanted to have worked on.

She said that for the last couple of days, she has had a sinus infection, and wanted that to be worked on. She hadn't taken any antibiotics. Fast forwarding, I treated her, and it was an incredible experience for us both, and afterwards, she felt much better, and could actually breathe through both of her nostrils freely for once.

She said she would follow up with me in a few days and let me know if her sinus infection clears up. I already know that it is going to.

I am just... completely, utterly floored. My first actual time giving someone a real treatment with acupuncture ended up being for the same thing that I went in for my first acupuncture treatment, and what ultimately led me to study it. Completely full circle. The synchronicity of it all is just... insane. I got super emotional when it happened, and still do just thinking about it.

I know who I am now, and every day I feel more and more rooted in myself and my energy. For a while I had forgotten and lost sight of my purpose, what was important to me, and what I was meant to do. But I see my Path clearly now - I am a healer. I was always meant to be, and today's experience is a wonderful affirmation that I am right where I need to be.

I want to learn and to understand the secrets and underpinnings of reality and of the Universe, and I want to use that understanding to help and heal other people. And I gladly dedicate myself to this work. I have fallen in love with Chinese Medicine, and the other healing modalities that I am drawn towards. I have already helped so many of my classmates, and I am excited to share what I am learning with the rest of the world, and those that I am destined to help.

Thanks for reading. I hope that you have a wonderful night!

Blessings!

[grilledcheeseandguavajelly]

I have been seeing a lot of discourse on certain tags lately about fanfiction and writing fics that are “out of character”. And I don’t like conflict, so I was keeping my nose out. But now I’ve seen some things that I just can’t let go, and as the self-proclaimed fandom mom, I feel like I need to step in and state this loud and clear—

Fandom is for you.

The whole point of fanfic and fanart and cosplay and anything fan related is for you, the fan, to take a work that has already been created and have fun with it. Make it your own. Dive in and explore and do what you will. Fandom is meant to be a creative outlet where you can share ideas and art with other people who have the same interests as you.

THAT BEING SAID: it is never. And I repeat, NEVER okay to gatekeep fandom. And yeah, I fucking hate the word gatekeep. But it’s the only way to describe what I’m seeing happening. And so I’m going to use it again—

It is never okay to gatekeep fandom. It is never okay to gatekeep characters. And to throw negativity at anyone’s work, let alone come straight out and tell them that they’re wrong for shaping a character a certain way— I’m sorry, but where do you get off? I am completely understanding of wanting characters to stay true to the source material. I am completely understanding of having your own opinions about/expectations for a character and wanting them to behave a certain way. But YOU, my dear friend (or rather, we), are not the creator of those characters. Which means that we have no right to tell someone else what they can or cannot do with them.

The whole point of fandom is to let your imagination run wild. And if that means that a typically good character leans more evil in a fic, fine. If they make decisions you don’t agree with, great. If they do things that directly contradict what would have happened in the source material, even better!!

LET. PEOPLE. CREATE.

Let them throw characters into crazy situations and analyze how they react. Let them stretch them out like putty and poke at all of the soft bits inside. Let them shape them into something completely other just to see what happens. Let them be curious. Let them explore. Let them have fun.

Fandom should be fun.

And the second one person starts dictating what is right or wrong for a character or a ship, that’s the second it stops being fun. And that’s when fandoms die.

Don’t gatekeep something that doesn’t belong to you. Because again— It doesn’t belong to you.

You are allowed to have your own opinions. You are allowed to have your own expectations for characters. But who do you think you are, to flat out tell someone (or a group of people) that the way they write someone is wrong? That the way they have imagined something is wrong? That their creativity, their expression, their joy, is wrong? Or, as I’ve seen more recently, when someone gets dejected by the posts you’ve made telling them they’re creating wrong, you have the audacity to tell them “that’s okay, now that you know you did something I don’t like, you can reevaluate your work and try to improve!”

How dare you.

Because once again, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not the creator of these characters. And I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the actual creator is probably just so happy to see the diversity of idea that has sprung from their creation. So who do you think you are, to dictate an entire fandom?

If you don’t like it, move along. Click out of the fic, find something else to read. I understand having frustrations when things don’t go as you’d hoped, when a piece of work that you were excited about crosses those outer lines of your expectations and you feel disappointed. Again. But you know what? That’s your expectation. What about the person halfway across the world who reads the same fic and finds themselves in it? Finds a small piece of comfort that encourages them to hold on for just one more day. What happens when your words completely discourage the creators of your fandom, have them second guessing themselves? What happens when they lose confidence and stop creating completely? What happens when the fandom dies, and suddenly there’s nothing new to explore— to your standards or not?

You are allowed to have your opinions. Of course you are. You are allowed to express them. But you are never. EVER. allowed to tell people that they are wrong for making art that you don’t agree with. For using their imagination in a way that doesn’t fit into your small box of approval.

Let creators find happiness.

Let creators create.

[satansapostle6]

Kids | Rodrick Heffley

Spotify Playlist Link

Rodrick Heffley becomes obsessed when he finally meets his thirty-five year old band mate, Bill Walter’s, younger sister.

Warnings: Mature themes/language. Drug use. Sexual content. Violence.

“The Baby Sister”

“The Family Legacy”

Rodrick couldn’t stop thinking about Sara in the past week since they first started to become friends. It was a sickness.

Today alone, he thought about her first thing in the morning, as he opened his eyes and woke up, as he was brushing his teeth(he hoped his breath didn’t smell bad), as he put on his deodorant(he hoped he didn’t smell bad), as he got dressed, while he drove to school, and all throughout his classes.

He knew he had to do something about his feelings for Sara, because they were really starting to become apparent to most of the other people in his life. This, of course, included his band mates, although Chris and Ben also had eyes for Sara Walter, just like any of the other boys who saw her. Rodrick figured the only reason Sara wasn’t as popular as Heather Hills was because she just didn’t want to be.

Sara spent most of her time in and out of school alone, so naturally Rodrick felt pretty important when she decided to spend her time in his company. She typically came with Bill to band practices in Rodrick Heffley’s garage, where she served as quite the distraction to her brother’s younger band mates.

But that day, the members of the charmingly spelled Löded Diper were busy trying to put together a decent set list, for a small backyard party. Rodrick had been standing around with his arms crossed, rolling his eyes as he and Bill watched Ben and Chris argue over songs. Sara, who sat on the couch, decided she’d tune out all the arguing and work on her flash of potential tattoo designs.

“Will you two just shut the fuck up so we can figure this out?!” Rodrick groaned.

“Just give ‘em a few minutes, little bro,” Bill offered his wisdom as he patted him on the shoulder. “Oh. Dude. I almost forgot.”

“What?” Rodrick asked him in fear, thinking it was some sort of band emergency.

“You should totally ask Sara Bear to come to the party with you!” Bill whispered urgently, eyeing his sister to make sure she wasn’t listening in.

“But… can’t Sara drive herself?” Rodrick questioned.

“No, dude, like on a date!” Bill urged him.

“…What?” Rodrick asked skeptically.

He didn’t know anything about having a sister, but he was certain there was no way any guy would willingly encourage his friend to ask his younger sister out.

“Yeah, man, she’s crazy about you!” Bill insisted. “It’s so obvious!” he scoffed.

“She ashed her cigarette on me the other day,” Rodrick frowned, not trusting him at all.

“That’s how she flirts!” Bill exclaimed. “If she did that to you, you’re in! I mean…Not in. That’s still my baby sister. But, anyway, dude, she likes you.”

“…Really?” Rodrick asked, deciding if anyone knew Sara, it had to be her brother.

“Yeah! You should ask her out. Right now,” he encouraged.

“Okay!” Rodrick exclaimed, walking over to the couch. “Thanks!”

“Yeah, anything for you, brother!”

He then realized that, just like the first time he ever had a real conversation with Sara, he had gone over there with no plan. But, it was already too late, so he decided to just go with it.

“Hey, Sara Bear!” he blurted out, visibly cringing and once he realized what he’d said.

“Hey… Roddy,” she frowned humorously, “What’s up?”

“Uh… I was thinking,” he began.

“I’m impressed,” Sara nodded approvingly.

“No…” Rodrick massaged his temples in frustration as he tried to come up with something good, naturally failing. “I was wondering if you were gonna go to our gig this weekend? At the house party?”

“Yeah,” she replied supportively, “I’ll be there.”

“Alright! Totally! Cool…” he trailed off, trying to regain his composure. “Uh… I was thinking, that, maybe… I don’t know…” he struggled to the point of completely abandoning his train of thought.

“Huh?” she asked in confusion.

“Uh, I don’t know, I just wanted to see if maybe you’d, uh, wanna…”

“Go out with you?” Sara offered, coming to the conclusion before he did.

“Yes! …Yeah,” he nodded, trying to still seem somewhat cool, even if that wasn’t really an option.

Rodrick stood there awkwardly, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his grey jeans.

“Yeah,” Sara nodded with a smile. “For sure.”

“Really?” he laughed, catching himself just as she did. “I mean. Really?” he flirted.

“I know Bill put you up to this,” she smirked, eyes glancing at her older brother for a split second, “He’s been talking you up to me for the past week. He’s a real wing man, by the way.”

“Oh. Cool,” Rodrick remarked, slowly turning to look back at Bill, whose widened eyes suggested he was desperate for an update.

Completely clueless, Bill gave Rodrick a questioning thumbs up as Sara watched. Rodrick slowly made an awkward thumbs up, to which Bill nearly reacted by jumping up and down and shouting. After that, Rodrick returned to the band, feeling rejuvenated.

Just before 6 o’clock, Mrs. Heffley poked her head into the garage, watching as Chris and Ben both took off. Bill and Sara still remained, as Rodrick discussed various details of a song with the thirty-five year old.

“Rodrick? Dinner’s ready,” Susan said.

“I’ll be in in a minute, Mom,” he called, “I’m still talking to Bill and Sara,” he said patiently, pointing out his friends standing in front of him.

“Well, I told you that dinner was ready ten minutes ago, and we’re not eating until everyone’s seated at the table,” she stated calmly. “If you still have things to discuss with your friends, you can do that at the table. We have plenty of food,” she offered.

“It’s okay, Mom,” Rodrick assured her, “Bill and Sara were just—”

“Oh, Mrs. H, we’re starving!” Bill spoke for his sister before she could protest, “Thanks!”

“You’re welcome,” she smiled warmly, “Come on in. I made spaghetti.”

“I love spaghetti!” Bill exclaimed childishly as Rodrick and Sara exchanged looks.

The pair of siblings followed Rodrick into the Heffley house. Bill was much more excited, while Sara seemed a lot more tentative.

“Guys, Rodrick’s friends will be joining us for dinner tonight,” Susan Heffley smiled.

Rodrick took his usual seat beside Greg, who seemed to see Sara’s presence as an opportunity. Rodrick glared at him angrily, as Sara sat down directly across from him, next to Bill.

“I’m so sorry,” he mouthed to her silently, only to receive a tiny ‘it’s okay’ back.

“So, we know Bill,” Susan began, turning to Sara, “I’m sorry, sweetie, what was your name?”

“Sara,” she smiled timidly. “I’m in the same grade as Rodrick.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Frank said pleasantly as he filled his plate. “You go to Crossland?”

“Mhm,” she nodded, hesitantly putting food on her plate as Bill piled a mess of salad and spaghetti onto his.

“Oh, wow. And Bill’s your older brother?” Susan asked.

“Yeah,” Sara nodded, as Frank Heffley completely froze.

Rodrick’s father’s face froze as Rodrick tried to stop him from making a scene, only to be completely ignored.

“I’m sorry, your Bill’s sister?” the man asked shakily.

“Dad…” Rodrick said nervously.

“Yeah,” Sara responded, not seeming as awkward.

“Rodrick’s taking my baby sister out this Saturday,” Bill announced proudly with a mouthful of meatballs. “He’s been crushing on her all week,” he teased.

Greg turned to Rodrick, eyes widened in fear as both of their parents slowly took in the girl’s appearance, from her balayage, to her thin eyebrows, to her loose-fitting grey sweater that she wore off the shoulder. Luckily, she seemed somewhat more conservative without makeup.

“…Oh,” Frank gasped, still in shock. “So that was your cigarette out there last week?” he concluded, seeming horrified.”

Rodrick was horrified.

“What?” Susan questioned, having no idea what he was talking about.

“You’re the girl Greg told us about that was smoking?” Frank continued.

“Dad!” Rodrick exclaimed, mortified.

“Uh, no, Mr. Heffley,” Sara said quickly, “I don’t smoke… That must’ve been my cousin Cindy that was with me, we hang out a lot, so she’s always with me.”

“Yeah,” Bill agreed, realizing this was his fault,“Cousin Cindy’s a huge smoker. Coughs up a lung every morning.”

“Yeah, Dad, I wasn’t talking about Sara,” Greg promised, feeling uncomfortable.

“Oh,” Frank murmured, allowing himself a moment to adjust, “Sorry. That was rude,” he smiled, trying to be disarming.

“Yes, it was,” Susan agreed with her husband. “So, Rodrick, you’re finally introducing us to your girlfriend?”

Greg nearly choked on his food from laughter as Rodrick’s mouth stood agape in horror.

“Mom!” he gasped, mortified.

Sara just looked across the table at Greg, seeming to just be appreciating the humor in the situation, if anything. Rodrick said nothing to her, and just have her an apologetic grimace.

“We’re not dating!” he cried.

Sara tried her best to hide her involuntary grin at the absurd situation.

“But, aren’t you going out on a date?” Susan asked.

“Honey, just let them be,” Frank said calmly, “They’re just kids…”

“Well, I just wanted to know!” the woman argued.

Rodrick watched powerlessly as Sara uncomfortably looked down at her plate, feeling horrible. He didn’t know what to do to help the situation, but he felt even if he could think of something, it probably wouldn’t work anyway. There wasn’t much he could do for either of them at this point.

Sara sat in her seat quietly throughout the meal, only speaking when spoken to, and constantly looking to her brother to signal that they should leave. But, unfortunately for her, her brother was Bill. Bill didn’t seem to be getting the hint. It was probably another 45 minutes or so before he announced that they’d be leaving.

“Alright, Mr. and Mrs. H, it’s been real, but me and Sara Bear gotta go,” Bill said as he stood, “We’ll catch you guys later!”

“Alright, take care,” Susan Heffley smiled, a strange discomfort behind her eyes.

“See you,” Frank smiled.

“I’ll, uh, walk you guys out,” Rodrick volunteered, standing with them.

He awkwardly walked behind Sara, hand anxiously hovering over the small of her back as he ushered her out of the house.

“I am so sorry,” he sighed, looking at Sara to see if there was a chance he’d ever see her again.

“Aw, don’t be!” Bill said cluelessly, “I had a great time!”

Sara just shook her head as they all walked out the front door.

“Bill, can you start the car?” she asked politely, intending on having a talk with him later.

“Oh, I get it,” he smirked, looking up at Rodrick, “You two want some alone time.”

“Yes, we do,” she agreed impatiently, waiting for him to walk away before directing her attention back to Rodrick. “So…” she grimaced.

“So…” he genuinely had no idea what to say at this point.

“Sorry, I tried to get Bill to leave, but… you know how he is,” Sara sighed.

“No, it’s fine. My parents don’t hate you guys or anything. They just think I’m gonna turn out like Bill,” Rodrick frowned, not hearing himself.

“Yeah. So do mine,” she assured him. “That’s kind of the problem with them.”

“Well… I actually think you’re really cool the way you are,” Rodrick thought aloud, not sure if he sounded stupid.

“Thank you, Rodrick,” Sara nodded, looking up at him in a way that made his knees buckle.

“You’re welcome,” he stared back, still terrified of her.

“I’ll, uh… I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said as she left, worried that if she showed how excited she was everything would immediately start to go wrong.

“See you tomorrow,” he echoed, watching her as she left.

The car ride home wasn’t too bad for Sara. It was easy explaining to him where he went wrong with Mr. and Mrs. Heffley, but it was more difficult for Sara to get him to see the problems with their own family.

“Bill, we saved up enough money,” Sara sighed as they arrived at home. “We could get an apartment, easily. You can be my guardian until I’m 18. We both make enough money—”

“Sar, I told you, we can’t,” Bill sounded heartbroken listening to his sister. “We can’t just leave Connor!”

“Bill, forget about Connor!” she argued, “We need to think about us, just this once!”

“That’s Mom’s job,” he reminded her, “That’s all she’s ever done, is think about us. We can’t just leave her.”

“Bill, she’s an adult, and so are we,” Sara scoffed, looking at the house that wasn’t their childhood home from the sidewalk. “I can’t stay in that house anymore, Bill. Not after that night.”

The incident of three weeks ago was still a very sensitive topic in their household.

“Look, I get it, I really do,” her older brother promised, “But it’s just a couple more years. Less than a year. And then you can do whatever!”

“And what about you, huh?” she demanded. “You’re just gonna stay here, forever, in the basement? Just because of Connor?”

“He needs us!”

“He’ll be okay!” Sara insisted. “It’s not like we’re leaving the country, we just need a little space! We both did our time in that house, and now we need to get out for our own good!”

“I can’t do that,” Bill said with finality.

“Can’t, or won’t?” she questioned, looking him in the eyes.

“I can’t. I can’t leave Connor.”

“You can’t leave Connor, or you can’t leave Mom?”

“I’m not leaving, Sara,” he said softly. “You can. But I have to stay. Okay?”

From the pained look on his face to the glassy reflection in his eyes, Sara knew she couldn’t press it any further. She was angry, and she needed to leave, but she knew her brother had been hurt enough.

“Okay,” she nodded, dropping the subject entirely.

“Okay,” Bill nodded vigorously, sniffling as he tried to regain his youthful energy.

The more Sara looked into the darkness of his eyes that night, the more she realized that it was his childhood that had aged him so.

“Please, for the love of God, Sar,” he sighed, before they walked up to their house. “Just don’t start with him.”

“I won’t start with him if he doesn’t start with me first,” she muttered as Bill opened the door for her.

The two quietly entered their home, hoping they wouldn’t be noticed and could just slip by. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case.

“You guys sure are home late,” said a voice that made them both shake.

Randy Sharpe, their stepfather, was seated in the living room, reading a book written by a man who could supposedly make anyone a millionaire.

“We had dinner at the Heffleys’,” Bill said through gritted teeth as Sara stopped behind him.

“It’s not even 7 yet,” she said quietly.

“What’d they feed you?” the man asked, being the only one that found humor in his musings. “Caviar on toast?”

“Spaghetti,” Sara interjected. “They’re nice people.”

“And I’m not?” he looked up from his book.

“Yeah, you’re a real peach, Randy,” Bill muttered, creeping off toward the basement as their mother entered the room.

“Hey, Bill. Hey, Sar Bear. How was practice?” Destiny Sharpe asked, intentionally moving the conversation along.

“Good, thanks, Ma,” Bill walked off.

“You know,” Randy chuckled, watching him as he took off his reading glasses, “It makes sense, letting that one come and go as he pleases, I mean… he’s half gone already, but Sara’s still a kid,” he pointed out, pointing his glasses at her.

“Randy, Sara’s sixteen, she’s old enough to not have to come home before 7,” Destiny chuckled, still finding the situation humorous, “Besides. When she works, sometimes she’s not home ‘til 11.”

“What does she need a job for?” he questioned. “She’s a kid!”

“So are you, Randy,” Sara used his name like an insult.

“Hey,” her mother frowned.

“What, he gets to sit there and criticize us all day, but the second someone responds, he’s only human?” she gestured to him in disbelief.

“Hey. Show your mother some respect,” Randy said sternly.

“You first,” Sara cocked her head at him. “Has Mom even seen her paycheck this month? Huh? Could she even tell me how much it’s for, or do I have to go through your ‘accountant’?”

“That is enough,” Destiny interrupted, “Sara, have you been smoking? Weed, that is, because I can smell the box 100’s from over here.”

“I wish,” she responded honestly, glancing over at her stepfather. “I don’t know how else anyone deals with him.”

“What was that, a shot?” Randy butted in. “Taking shots at your mother now?”

“Don’t get any ideas, I’ve seen that shitty Glock you own.”

“Sara!” her mother exclaimed. “You shut your mouth right now—”

“Mom?!”

Everyone looked up at the top of the stairs in a panic as a small twelve year-old looked down the stairs.

“Have you seen my PE shirt?” Connor asked.

Destiny squeezed her eyes shut, trying to calm herself for a moment. “Uh… Yeah, baby! It’s in your drawer!”

They all watched him run back up into his room, silently looking around at each other.

“You two need to learn to get along if you’re going to live under this roof,” Sara’s mother pointed at the two of them warningly.

“Or, you could just throw him out on his ass like you should’ve years ago,” Sara crossed her arms.

“Sara,” Destiny glared, finger pointed accusingly, “You best believe that the first of the two of you to be thrown out of this house wouldn’t be Randy.”

Sara tried to contain the hatred growing within her as Randy mockingly pumped his fist in silence as his wife walked away.

“You know, Sara Bear,” Randy said with a smile, “I don’t know why you’re so determined to hate me. I’ve never laid a finger on you, or your mother. You kids wouldn’t have survived a day with my father.”

“You might not have ever hit my mom,” Sara admitted, “But I wish you would. Just so she’d realize what kind of person you are.”

Before she could lose control, Sara ran off into her room, luckily without doing anything she would regret. Not having any other options left, she angrily sank her fist through her door, putting another hole in it just like the one her middle brother had left in it after Bill shoved his head through it.

Ever since he left, Sara had times where she’d almost forget their brother Paul. They never spoke about Paul, and Paul never spoke about them. Sara envied Paul.

-

“The Date”