#at least I could choke on an olive or have a deadly allergic reaction <- second option still Highly unlikely

[theministersdoom]

It’s actually kind of amazing the things my brain thinks will kill me. Absolutely absurd. Stop it

[disabled-queen-hc-blog]

Hey hun, could you write something for John having an allergy to nuts, like life threatening. He only has to look at a nut and he ends up in A&E

John was smart when it came to his allergy. He avoided baked goods since people just couldn’t help themselves by adding all types of nuts into them. He avoided certain breads. He shied away from cereals. These were all things he’d accidentally ate before and ended up swollen like a balloon, stuck in the hospital for hours. He was an expert in dodging potentially dangerous foods. In western countries.

No one told him the Japanese had a thing for nuts.

Their trip to Japan had been so fun up to that point. The fantastic tea, the polite fans, the skyline. He thought it’d stay that way until they landed back in England.

The third night into their stay, Roger suggested they try sushi. John was particularly squicked out by the whole, eating raw fish concept, but luckily, cooked sushi was a thing. He ordered a rather plain roll (forgive his English palate) with the salmon cooked, thank you very much. Only Roger dared for the authentic sushi experience.

Did you know the Japanese like to cook things in nut oils rather than corn or olive?

John didn’t.

He took the first bite, confused by all the unfamiliar flavors but happy about how they somehow tasted fantastic. He chewed on the seaweed, rice, cucumber and cooked salmon slowly, trying to get a grip on all the textures and flavors.

“This is quite tangy,” he commented, noting how perhaps the seaweed made his mouth tingle. He supposed that was the allure of sushi. The umami everyone was talking about. 

“You haven’t even put soy sauce on it,” Roger said, a little thrown off by the tangy comment, but bit more busy shoving eel sushi into his mouth.

John shrugged, ready to eat another piece. Before he could bring it to his lips, he coughed. 

The coughing brought to his attention the gut dropping sensation currently in his throat. 

It itched.

And so did his mouth. So did his lips. 

He swallowed hard, his throat ever so slightly tighter than it was seconds ago.

Time began to slow and blur for John, his brain coming to that terrifying conclusion. He ate something that had nuts in it. He was in a foreign country. He had no idea if the language barrier would kill him. He no idea if they knew how to treat him. Breathing was becoming difficult. He was itchy. His face began to ache. He had no idea what to do. 

Freddie was first to notice John’s unusually red lips and panicked eyes.

“Darling, are you alright?” he asked, head tilting.

John could barely blurt out, “Nuts,” his tongue already starting to swell.

He needn’t say anymore. Freddie understood perfectly what was happening. His heart lept similar to how he jumped up, hands smacking down on the table. He didn’t care about manners, he needed the translator to look at him.

“John’s ate something with nuts in it. He’s deadly allergic to nuts. We need to go to the hospital immediately,” he spluttered out to their translator, the woman blinking as she registered what was being said. 

Meanwhile, John could feel his face growing puffy, his body filling with adrenaline. He didn’t want to die in Japan. Nothing against the Japanese, he was quite fond of them, but he didn’t want to die!!

A panic set into the people around them, the next few minutes being a blur of yelling and being dragged around. John knew he was in a car at one point, beginning to wheeze. There was some people talking fast in Japanese next to him. Then he was somewhere white. He was gasping for air. White coats, white lights, white walls. There was a painful jab at his thigh then a stinging one to his arm. There were hands all over him, rubbing his limbs, saying how everything would be okay. His chest began to feel light again. 

The daze of adrenaline melted from his brain eventually, leaving him in uncomfortable clarity. He looked at his concerned band mates faces as the surrounded his bed, obviously worried sick. John smiled sheepishly, tugging the hospital blankets up to his chin.

“Sorry,” he whispered, always embarrassed when he had a reaction around them. 

“Oh my god, Deacy, don’t be. None of us had any idea they used peanut oil here,” Brian said, rubbing John’s shoulder.

“Peanut oil?” he asked, still hazy about what had just happened.

“Yeah, you’re cooked salmon. They fried it up in some killer peanut oil,” Roger said, earning him a shove from Freddie.

“It’s nobodies fault. It didn’t even cross my mind to ask. At least you’re fine now. I can’t tell your mum I brought you back in one piece though..” Freddie said, a sad smile on his face.

John laughed, rubbing at his eyes. The allergy medicine always made him so sleepy. “Japan’s kicked my ass and I haven’t even tried their sake yet,” he said, making the others giggle and roll their eyes. 

After some idle chat, they let John sleep, something much deserved after nearly choking on his own inflating tongue. 

He was released the next morning, brand spanking new and ready to finish this press tour. Only this time, he clung to the translator, asking her to read every single ingredient on labels and having her ask the chefs what they used to cook things in. She was fine with that, only getting annoyed when the boys made her triple check everything.

Did you know Baka Gaijin means stupid foreigner in Japanese?

They didn't!