#at least it's not as bad as that program I used that had some mysterious silent timer on a page

[merge-conflict]

the tumblr text editor having some ephemeral weird to pin down but easy to trigger off-by-one error in its selection tool Sure Is Something.

[luulapants]

Existential despair is so common in a person's twenties, I think, because up until that point, we've had a pretty clear road map for what's expected of us and we haven't had much reason to question that map. There are still a few milestones outlined for us (start a career, get married, make babies) but more and more young people are entering the post-school world and realizing:

A) that career thing just isn't happening like they said it would

B) I'm not ready to get married/I don't want to get married/marriage isn't the sort of life-altering event that it used to be

C) I'm not ready to make babies/I don't want a baby/I can't afford to raise children right now (see point A)

And in the absence of these milestones to shoot for (which one could argue weren't the promise of fulfillment they claimed to be in the first place), what we're left with is this aimless abyss of "the rest of our lives" sprawling out ahead of us with no indication of how it will go or what we should be doing to shape it. Young people start their first jobs, find they hate them, and think to themselves, "Is this it? Am I just supposed to do this job until I'm too old to do it or die first?"

Which is, yeah, really fucking depressing!! So here's my best attempt at an alternate roadmap for young people that don't vibe with the old model. Please feel free to add in your own suggestions!

Learn how you work and what you want out of a job. Unless you've been in a job-specific training program that gives you hands-on experience, your first jobs should be experiments. Learn how a full-time job feels for you, what elements are more or less difficult. Different workplaces have different cultures and expectations - what do you need out of a job environment? Do you need to find fulfillment in your job or is it enough for it to pay the bills and leave you time to find outside fulfillment? Do you want to climb a corporate ladder or are you content to hunker down as long as your bills get paid? This period of experimentation is exhausting and may feel like it's consuming your whole life.

Learn how to make time for things outside of work. Adapting to a full-time work environment often leaves you feeling so drained that you can't do anything but go home and collapse on the couch every day. That's fine - for a little while. But it can also become a habit. You need to learn how to do things after work or you'll go crazy. Go to a trivia night. Start an exercise schedule. Take a class in your community. Find volunteer work. Join a band. You will find that putting more things into your day makes you feel like you have more time, not less.

Find a community. Making friends as an adult can feel impossible. Where do you find these mysterious friends everyone seems to have?? This goes along with #2, though. As you start regularly attending the same activities, you will find that repeat interactions with the same people turn into friendships or at least friendly acquaintances. Say yes to invitations. Get involved in your local community. Strive to be connected enough to bump into people at the grocery store.

Unlearn bad lessons. We all internalize some messed up things when we're growing up. As you start off your adult life, that's the time to actively work at unpacking the things you've brought with you from childhood and deciding which things are helping you and which things are harming you. This might mean therapy or joining a spiritual group or reading new things or just making special time to be in your own head.

Learn the lessons you missed. In this, I mostly mean practical things. "Adulting." Areas of your day-to-day practical life that are causing you extreme stress are probably related to a knowledge or experience gap. Do you hate cooking and cleaning or were you not taught how to do it properly? Are you afraid of making medical appointments or is it just something new you're not used to? Does money make you queasy or do you need to learn how to make a budget?

Find something fulfilling. This can be your job. It can be volunteer work. It can be faith. It can be a hobby. It can be creating things. It can be challenging yourself physically. It can be activism. It can be going for walks in nature. Everyone finds fulfillment in different places. If you're not finding it where you are, look somewhere else.

[esamastation]

Part fifty-one of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: forty, forty-one, forty-two, forty-three, forty-four, forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty

-

"Angeal Hewley speaking."

"Well, you sound chipper tonight. Is Wutai not treating you right?"

"Oh. Hello, Genesis. How are things in Midgar?"

"Things are… they are such as they are. The work of a hero never ends. And so forth."

"That good, huh?"

"Mmm. Now do tell me why you sound like someone gone trampling all over your honour."

"Heh, nothing so bad, I promise. Just, you know. Sephiroth."

"More of his glowing Alignment practice?"

"..."

"Oh, so it's something new now? Do tell! All of us in Midgar are dying to know how things are developing. How is the Healer of Worlds doing?"

"... I guess the Turks have already reported it. Well. For one, he's learned how to fly."

"... Come again?"

"Sephiroth learned to fly. Or, I guess, it's more like weightlessness? He can make himself feather-light and just jump on tree tops and glide around."

"... Angeal, my dear friend, this isn't time for jokes."

"Oh, I'm not joking, Genesis, I'm really not. He can fly now. It's really something. He didn't so much explain as he insinuated, but I think it's some kind of gravity or mass manipulation that he can now do. Because of his Alignment practice. Apparently it's bearing fruit."

"... Wonderful. Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess. We seek it thus, and take to the sky. Some of us literally."

"Suppose that's one interpretation of it."

"Tch. And I suppose by now the Good Professor has been informed, and we will be hearing of these developments from him directly."

"Probably, yeah."

"Tch. Well, I suppose it would be nice to know how to fly. How many of us will end up with our wings clipped before such heights are achieved, forever…"

"Genesis…"

"They still don't admit that there have been deaths. Janson was supposedly killed in action, but he wasn't even on a mission at the time. The others have been cadets, but it's only a matter of time."

"I'm sorry. I wish I was there."

"No you don't. Be glad you aren't - though, as G type SOLDIERs, you and I aren't compatible with these new methods anyway. Such fortune we have, such graces we have been granted."

"We all signed up for this. We all volunteered, in order to enter the program."

"Yes, and not a single one of us knew what that meant. Well, except perhaps for Sephiroth. Not that he ever truly signed up. You know, I have been looking into his history, I've dug out his medical records, trying to figure out what they are after -"

"Genesis, that's a breach of trust -"

"The lives of my men matter to me more than Sephiroth's secrets and pride. Not that the files were any help - the story they paint is more a horror story than anything. Whatever Hojo is trying to recreate, if it takes as many experiments as Sephiroth has gone through…"

"I thought they already nailed down the cause. The overdose, right?"

"That's the prevalent theory, yes. But after the first few cases of Mako Poisoning and death, they rather gave up on recreating that particular experiment at least."

"They gave up? But, aren't they still calling SOLDIERs in for extra doses?"

"They are, but there's not as much Mako in it. They're injecting something else, now - more of the carrier agent, supposedly - though Goddess alone knows how many had to be resuscitated for them to get the point."

"... What's the current total of casualties?"

"Four deaths including Janson and seven in coma, two of them SOLDIER. Oh, and one confirmed brain death, which is just lovely."

"A SOLDIER?"

"No… a cadet. What they're keeping him alive for I don't know, but… there we have it."

"... Shit."

"Angeal Hewley, is that cursing I hear?! What a day to be alive."

"Very funny. How do you know about what's going on in the labs? I thought they'd pretty much banned you from them?"

"They did, but I have my ways."

"... Right. Do your ways explain why Lazard isn't doing anything about this?"

"Not much he can do. Hojo will do what he wants, and he'd promised Heidegger a new, higher class of SOLDIER after this, so you can imagine his reaction. And of course the President is all for it!"

"Ah, I… see."

"Indeed. You know what they're saying in the labs now? They're saying that SOLDIERs were created to be the second coming of the Ancients. That we were supposed to be able to, among other things, cast spells without the need of Materia."

"I… heard something like that too, a long time ago, but I didn't put much stock in it. It sounded a bit too fantastical for me."

"Well, supposedly, that's exactly what they wanted. They gave up on it, because, well, it didn't work, and because the side effects were even more useful. Superhuman soldiers! Much better than Ancient myths, when you have a war to be fought. Only now the war is almost over, and Sephiroth has apparently figured out how to fly."

"Ah."

"I can only imagine the consequences this will have."

"Yes, um. There's something else."

"Something else? Angeal, please don't tell me you're been holding out for me."

"Well, not really, but, um. Did you know Sephiroth can speak and read the Wutai language?"

"... I didn't, but I'm not surprised. Among SOLDIERs he's spent the most time over there."

"Well, I didn't know. The Turks didn't know. I don't think it's in his file either."

"Another thing he's been keeping to himself and can no longer remember why?"

"Maybe, but, Genesis, there's… another thing. There was a group of Wutai warriors that we intercepted, and Sephiroth had a one-in-one duel with their captain - and then he spoke with him. In their language. Now, I can't understand written Wutai at all, but I can sort of follow the conversations…"

"I am duly impressed, my friend. Though more with the idea of Sephiroth having a conversation with a Wutai soldier - after having a duel with them. What, did he raise their spirit somehow?"

"Very funny, but no, he didn't kill the man. That's not the point - Genesis, the Wutai Captain called Sephiroth's accent ancient."

"... Angeal, you're kidding me."

"Not like Ancient ancient. I'm pretty sure the moniker they use for Ancients is different. Ancestor, maybe? Something like that. Anyway, Deng Yuto called Sephiroth's accent ancient, meaning really old."

"... Huh. So to recap, Sephiroth gets a massive dose of Mako, flatlines, comes back, forgets almost everything about himself, develops some new habits, has a bunch of strange questions about the way Materia, Mako, EXP and MP work… and now he's developing new magical abilities, and speaking a language like someone from a long time ago."

"That's about the size of it."

"Damn."

"... Yeah."

"... Hey, Angeal?"

"Yes, Genesis?"

"I think I have a theory of what's going on."

"I thought you might."

-

Lmao I have no idea where this is going 👀🍿

[adarkroomandawallflower]

Love love love your writing! Do you have any hcs on activities that Data enjoys doing in the holodeck? (besides what we see on TNG)

I'm so glad you enjoy my writing, and thank you so much for dropping this into my inbox!

To be honest, I didn't really think about this before, mostly because the show gave us a decent amount of insight into the kinds of activities Data does in the holodeck. However, now that you mention it, I think there are actually a lot of things we could have (or if I may be so bold to declare, should have) seen Data do in the holodeck. I feel like the show touched on the sort of "obvious" activities he'd do, but not exactly his more hobby-esque/personal activities.

Anyway, long story short, I do have some headcanons about this for you! I hope you enjoy, and please feel free to add on, if you have any more ideas or if you feel I left something out 😊

I think Data would have 3 types of holodeck programs: ones for him to practice his skills and hobbies, ones that he does with his friends, and ones that are a bit more personal and private.

The most obvious hobby-esque programs would be those for practicing plays he would later perform for the other crew members. However, I think he would also have programs for his poetry. I think his cadence and tone when he verbally shared his poetry indicates that he practiced verbal reading before. I believe he developed a program with some poets that he wanted to emulate, and he practiced writing and reading poetry aloud with them.

The same goes for his instrument playing. Although he had all the information about every single instrument, musician, and how to play them in his data banks, I think he still would have needed to actually see someone play an instrument to fully understand how to play it himself. So, I think he definitely would have needed to make a few programs of the best musicians for each instrument he wanted to play.

I think he'd also do this with painting, and his favorite painters.

Honestly, I'm surprised TNG never had Data paint a "live" scene in the holodeck because he definitely would do that!

I think he loves nature, so he'd probably have several nature programs to paint. Things like an ocean/beach, a forest, a desert, etc.

I also thought it was kind of odd that Data did all his hobbies in his quarters. Even though he can't exactly get distracted, I feel like everyone always needs him/lowkey interrupts him, even (read: especially) when he's off duty. I think at some point, he'd realize that sometimes, he'd want to do his recreational activities uninterrupted, and that's when he'd create holodeck programs that he can have a little bit more peace and freedom in.

For the holodeck programs for his friends, I think he'd also have at least one program per each of his friends, that he individually does together with them.

For Geordi, we saw that they solved Holmes mysteries together. I couldn't really think of any other activities they might do together, so I'm going to say that this is their main one.

They might change it up a bit and solve other mysteries together, but that's all I can really see them doing together in the holodeck.

Because Data is well-revered in the Klingon empire for his strength, and I'm sure Worf also admires this about him, I think Data would have some type of fighting program that he does with Worf.

I don't think he'd participate in the fighting program Worf did with K'ehleyr (I feel like it's a bit too violent for Data's taste), but I think he does like the teamwork aspect of it, so he'd probably construct a program that involved them fighting enemies together.

Every once in a while, usually when Worf is in a really bad mood, he'll want to do some hand-to-hand combat with Data to blow off steam, so Data might try to incorporate that into the program, as well (i.e. maybe the last level is they have to fight each other, as only one can win the game).

Also, I just want to say that it's a CRIME we didn't have more Worf and Data friend interactions. I'm not sure why they made Worf sort of apprehensive and not very friendly with Data because I personally think they are great friends and get along well!

For Riker, I think Data would have a program of a little jazz bar where they'd play together.

Riker, of course, would play his beloved trombone, and I think Data would love playing the clarinet or the harmonica.

They'd be their own little duo, and call themselves The Lady Killers (per Riker's suggestion).

They'd invite the other crew members every once in a while to the program to come watch them play.

Data would also have that classic hat and a pair of those classic sunglasses lots of jazz musicians wear that he'd have on when he played.

For Picard's designated program, I think it would be the same as the theatrical programs Data did with him in the show, except instead of doing them for Picard and asking his opinions on his performances, they'd perform together and provide critiques/advice for each other.

Most of them are Shakespeare plays, of course, and the programs would be an equal mix of both Picard's and Data's favorite ones.

Personally, I think Data's favorite Shakespeare plays would be The Merchant of Venice, A Midsummer Night's Dream, The Comedy of Errors, and The Tempest (I will spare you all from my in-depth analysis of why I think he'd enjoy these in particular because this post is already too long 😅)

For Beverly, I think Data would have a dancing program. Although she doesn't want to be known as "The Dancing Doctor" again, I think she still loves and sometimes even misses dancing. So, I think Data would try to remedy this dilemma by making a program for them, in which she can teach him new dances, and they can both learn new dances together.

She's very touched by this, and is always happy to dance with him and/or teach him a new dance!

I think Data's favorite dances would be ballet (it's a great way for him to practice his strength and balance) and the tango (he loves the fast pace and I feel like the moves are bit stiffer than other dances, which would work in his favor).

I think this could also technically be considered as one of Data's private and personal programs, since Beverly likely would prefer if he didn't tell others about it.

For Deanna, I feel like she's always wanted to have her very own proper tea party. So, I think he'd make a program for her so they could have a little tea party together!

The first time they tried out the program, Data had misunderstood that she wanted a child's tea party, so everything in the program was very small.

Additionally, she showed up dressed in regal clothes (including a fancy feathered hat), while he showed up in big goofy sunglasses and a pink, sparkly feather boa.

After she laughed for a good 10 minutes, leaving the poor baby so confused, she explained that she had wanted an English-esque, adult tea party. He adjusted the program and his wardrobe accordingly (but she insisted he keep the boa and sunglasses).

Riker also sometimes joins them in this program (he's also a big fan of the boa and sunglasses).

I have to point out that it was also a crime that Data and Deanna's friendship wasn't developed more in the show. I think they both have equal amounts of intrigue and curiosity for one another. Data would want to learn so much about human emotions and behavior from her, and she wants to learn more about his emotions and how she can help him realize they're real and valid. As a result, I think they'd be very good friends.

For Spot, Data would have a "feline enrichment" program, consisting of a large pond with lots of koi fish, trees with lots of birds, and tall grass/shrubbery with insects for her to play with and chase.

He'd take her to this program at least once a week, to help her get her excess energy (and anger) out.

She absolutely LOVES it, and he accidentally Pavlov-ed her because whenever he brings out her leash and harness, she knows exactly where they're going. This leads to her meowing very loudly and excitedly, and aggressively rubbing against his legs.

Lastly, for his more personal and private programs, I think they'd be programs that are for his eyes/participation only, and he wouldn't share them with anyone else.

Despite his stoicism, I think Lal's death really had an effect on him, and he'd make a hologram of her in the holodeck to help cope with the loss.

Whenever he especially "misses" her, like when he rescued another child/orphan or spent his day around children, he'd go to the holodeck to see her afterwards.

I think this program would just be a replicate of his quarters, and he'd mostly just sit and talk with her.

Sometimes he'll do activities with her, like teaching her to play an instrument or make art.

This program he would especially keep to himself, and wouldn't talk about or show it to anyone.

The only person I can think of him maybe showing it to would be his significant other, if it ever got to the point in their relationship where he'd want them to meet Lal.

Otherwise though, it's his little secret.

I think he'd also have a private program with a hologram of Noonien in it.

I think he partially blames himself for his father's death, and he barely got to know him or ask him everything he wanted to ask, so I think that would be the main purpose of this program.

He just wants some closure and a better understanding of himself, as well as his father, and I think this is the way he'd seek both of those things.

He wouldn't show this program to anyone either, except maybe his significant other, if their relationship progressed that far.

[twistedtummies2]

Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes - Number 7

Welcome to A Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes! During this month-long event, I’ll be counting my Top 31 Favorite Fictional Detectives, from movies, television, literature, video games, and more!

SLEUTH-OF-THE-DAY’S QUOTE: “Now, I may be wrong…but frankly, I doubt it.”

Number 7 is…Jessica Fletcher, from Murder, She Wrote.

I had a tough time deciding between Jessica Fletcher and our previous pick, Columbo. Both are from classic detective programs, and each show had a remarkably long lifespan (incidentally, both ended the same year, 2003). However, while I love the twist formula of Columbo, I personally always liked “Murder, She Wrote” a little more. I blame this on two primary facts: one of them is the simple fact that I’m a sucker for an old-fashioned “Whodunnit” mystery, of a more traditional sort. The other is summed up in two words: Angela Lansbury.

Angela Lansbury – may she rest in peace – was, is, and always has been one of my favorite actresses. She was one of those ubiquitous types of performers where it’s hard to say where people would know here best from: for some, she may be recognized most chiefly for her work in musical theatre, with shows like “Mame,” “Gypsy,” and “Sweeney Todd.” Others may know her for her connections to Disney films, like “Beauty and the Beast” or “Bedknobs and Broomsticks.” Still others may know her for any of a variety of other shows and parts some may call more “serious,” such as the villain of “The Manchurian Candidate.” And of course, for some, there’s “Murder, She Wrote,” where Lansbury – from 1984 to 2003 – played the marvelous Jessica Fletcher, easily my favorite female detective character in all of fiction.

Jessica can best be described as a sort of combination of Ellery Queen and Miss Marple. She’s a mystery writer who lives in a quaint little town – the fictional seaside village of Cabot Cove – and uses her experience writing detective work to help her solve crimes. While she finds plenty of cases in her hometown, research for her books (along with past experiences and jobs, such as working as a teacher) has brought Jessica all over the globe, and she has many friends and connections as a result of her travels. In a typical “Murder, She Wrote” episode, Jessica will find that one of these connections is under suspicion for murder. However, for one reason or another – sometimes simple faith in her friends, other times for more practical and logical reasons – Jessica refuses to believe they are responsible. When the police dismiss Mrs. Fletcher, she takes matters into her own hands and eventually solves the case and clears her friend’s name.

Mrs. Fletcher’s sheer determination and confidence are probably her most noteworthy traits as an amateur sleuth. Once she feels she’s right about something, nine times out of ten (at least), she typically is, and she won’t allow anyone to tell her differently or treat her as inferior for any reason. Her personality is fun, too, of course: she is in some ways a very soft, almost maternal figure, but she also has a sharp wit and a fine amount of sass in her soul. However, what I personally find most interesting about Jessica Fletcher is her attitude towards crime itself. I’d argue she is probably one of the most empathetic detectives out there.

Most of the time when Fletcher solves a case…she’s sad about it. There’s almost always this sense of pity and sympathy towards the ones she helps take down, even when they try to kill her, themselves, in turn. When she isn’t sad, she’s angry; this is most typical when the killers are people she knows well. She recognizes that murderers are just as human as the ones whose lives they destroy. Many of the victims in the show were unlikeable people, and while Jessica can’t agree with the ones who took them out – especially since they often endangered people close to her – there’s a sense she often feels sorry for them. In her mind, they aren’t necessarily bad people, simply people who made bad choices. So she doesn’t hate them; mostly, she seems to feel disappointed in them.

The series gave Lansbury a lot of room to flex her acting chops, in a lot of different ways. As the nominal star of the show, she had a lot of input on the content of episodes, and Jessica was not the only character she played in the show. There was also Jessica’s flamboyant cousin, Emma, a recurring figure who even took over for Jessica in one story. It’s hard to imagine anybody else now in the role, and I would argue it’s the actress, as much as the character herself, who makes this series so enjoyable to watch.

Tomorrow, the countdown continues with Number 6!

CLUE: “I did not know the bank was being robbed because I was engaged in my sworn duty as a police officer.”

[granulesofsand]

Programmed DID vs OSDD-1 and DDNOS

🗝️🏷️ RAMCOA, programming, EC-DID

Today is therapy day, so we get to dwell in thoughts more than we probably should. It’s mostly for us, but I’ll post it in case it helps.

We have bulletin board type things in the library that alters can use to put together pieces of non-memory mysteries. One of these bulletin boards is about the more basic curiosities of our programming.

I propose I have an answer to precisely one of those questions.

Why are our alters so distinct?

We’ve come across this item in two settings: that Alison Miller book that says

“It appears that DDNOS is the intentional goal of these abusers, but DID sometimes results from a failure of programming.” Healing the Unimaginable

and within our own family.

Miller, who is rather rude when describing the CDDs she treats, believes that the ideal programming has an omnipresent front person with programmed parts working through them.

Our programmed family members tend to fall closer to those lines; our father is the model of OSDD-1a, while our mother leans closer to DID in terms of alter elaboration.

And then there’s us.

We are not only a partitionary system, but many of us were handed these detailed appearances and backgrounds and conditioned towards different interests and skills. And! We’re one of the worst failures in our group.

There was a 20 year gap between the structuring of their systems and ours, and the only person we’ve met near our age had in-tact programming, if they had any.

(I would’ve liked to poke around by them a little more and see what their external presentation is compared to ours, but that would be invasive even if we could do it.)

So, I present my findings.

Based on our own memories and programming, in combination with the knowledge of programming tactics employed by both sides of our family…

We’re just really good at dissociation.

Our first programmers and handlers were from our mother’s side. The larger group traditionally had the oldest member of the same sex receive the child, and from there they delegate responsibilities to younger same-sex descendants. Female child, oldest female in the maternal line.

They programmed closer to DID when our paternal side programmed a bit further than BPD. Our great-grandmother did our early programming, then our grandmother after she died, and the handler after 13 is the parent until legal marriage.

We were very dissociative as a small child. Maybe because our base programming was done by someone with experience, but we took in all the details they gave us and then some. I don’t see the same even with family we know were programmed like us.

So it’s largely coincidental, and they at least intended for us to have DID. We did not fail being programmed even if our programming is failing. We are not bad for breaking the chain.

[coinflict]

15 people 15 questions!!!!

Tagged by @suzufield thank you yay ^^

This is a long one so it's under the cut and also idgaf I love hearing myself talk I love the sound of my own voice!!!!

Not really, my given name is that of a saint like most names from here tbh, but my mom picked it because it's short and she wanted people from everywhere around the world to be able to say it which is kind of cute. I don't have chosen name I have like 3 nicknames people alternate between, one of them is Ani or AniGC which I use on the internet and I don't plan on picking one I think not having a name is cool!

1. Are you named after anyone?

2. When was the last time you cried?

Nope, too young, and also having my own kids or parenting/fostering is not something I am fit to ever do I don't think I would be a good parent. I'm a lesbian so biological kids are kind of out the window (not really but don't want them regardless, better safe than sorry on this matter I think). I would love to work with kids though at least once in my lifetime.

Genuinely yesterday I love crying I cry all the damn time it helps me fall asleep. What the libs don't want you to know is that depression is actually awesome because you can cry all the fucking time and you don't need sleeping medication! Yay for mental illness!

3. Do you have kids?

4. What sports have you played/do you play?

I did karate for 8 or 9 years from ages of like 6-14, loved it, then I fell down the stairs and fucked up my spine and had to quit. Then I did swimming for a bit but nothing too serious and I quit that because I got bored now I do fuck all.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yes a lot but I try to not get too irony poisoned lol, I mostly just say outlandish shit but I do use sarcasm.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

I couldn't tell you if you put a gun to my head. I don't fucking know 😭

7. Eye colour?

Brown! ^^

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

This is a strange one I'm not really big on either of these things. When it comes to horror I'm not really a fan of movies I feel like a thing inherently becomes a little less scary when you show it to me or when it's moving you know? Idk I like some of them but I really do enjoy horror books those are awesome. And for the other thing I don't know is it a happy ending for me or the characters? Like I enjoy all plot threads being tied together well but if that doesn't make my fav happy GOOD. Let that bitch suffer. To actually answer the question I think scary movies lmao.

9. Any talents?

Why yes I'm very awesome. Idk I'm a fast learner genuinely that's the biggest thing I've got going on I think almost everything I know I learned on my own accord, it was never given to me, and idk I'm kind of proud of that idgaf if it sounds corny. I can also dislocate my thumb that's kind of cool.

10. Where were you born?

In the hospital (Serbia but I don't like saying where I'm from too much I want to remain a Mysterious Figure On The Computer and now you have to ignore the fact that I frequently post about this)

11. What are your hobbies?

Running the risk of sounding like a loser nerd I love studying I love learning things if I could stay in school for the rest of my life I genuinely would. I love learning how shit works and I'm gonna be honest organic chemistry has been among my favourite things to study ever it's so perfectly logical and awesome one of the best sciences ever for sure. Besides that I like doing fuck all and taking the piss on the internet.

12. Do you have any pets?

Nope! Small apartment and not enough money or time to take care of them. One day I will get a cat though trust.

13. How tall are you?

184cm that's like 6'0" I think?

14. Favourite subject in school?

Idk probably physics. High school level chem was incredibly fucking boring I didn't even have to fart to get good grades. Math and programming were my original beloveds but I fell out of love with them very soon after starting high school due to bad experiences with teachers. So yeah probably physics idk the only subjects I think about at this point are the ones I'll have next year in college I can't fucking wait for atomistics.

15. Dream job?

I feel like a fucking idiot being at my age and telling people I want to be a scientist but like!!!!!! I do I genuinely do!!!! I want to be a researcher and do cool things I want to be entranced by the work I do maybe this sounds so incredibly optimistic because it's likely that if I become a researcher I'll be eating packet noodles for the rest of my life but!! That's my dream!!!

I cannot be assed to tag 15 people I'm sorry also I think everyone and their mom has done this at this point so I'll tag. 3 take it or leave it! Sorry if any of you have done this already 😭. Also if you haven't but don't want to that's fine lmao no pressure

@k-ru-h @viegoinahoodie @schrodingers-catgirl

[twilightmalachite]

2×2 - Children on the Streets 8

Author: Akira

Characters: Yuuta, Shinobu, Nagisa

Translator: Mika Enstars

"Ughh, anyways! I’ll complain about this stupid program’s direction later. For now, we gotta do the job required of us to do!"

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Spring

Location: Chinese Restaurant

The next day, inside Chinese restaurant ran by Master, the Aoi brothers’ benefactor…

Nagisa: …Yesterday, we received a strange message from the missing Anzu-san, along with a package.

…To summarize, it was about how the bad guys were going to attack this restaurant today.

…The identity of these bad guys are a mystery, however. But we have been given weapons as a means to oppose them.

Yuuta: Yeah. That’s what was inside the package Anzu-san had mailed us, right?

But what is this, a water gun? This isn’t child’s play, I don’t see how something like this can hold up against something like real thugs…

Shinobu: So that’s why, this is probably all part of the program, de gozaru.

This is staged, a fun event to give the show a boost, de gozaru!

Even though it was supposed to be an “Experience Living On The Streets”, we ended up living comfortably here—

Yuuta: Meaning extra production was put in to liven up the program.

Nagisa: …I think it was an appropriate change. We would have become exhausted if we had stayed like that.

…I’m a little relieved, though.

…I suppose that means the reason Anzu-san and Hinata-kun disappeared is due to this extra production.

Yuuta: Although we don’t know exactly why they did, that does seem to be the case. Especially since the police don’t seem to know why either, when I reported it to them.

Good god. And here I was worried because he disappeared without saying a word. Wish he at least would have explained himself!

Well, I knew it, anyways! ‘Cuz there’s no way Aniki would disappear without my permission!

So of course it was just part of the program, some surprise prank!

Shinobu: Even though you were utterly pale with panic yesterday, Yuuta-kun. ♪

Nagisa: …Yeah. It was painful to watch.

…Hinata-kun really is an important person to Yuuta-kun, isn’t he?

Yuuta: Y-You’re wrong! Forget that! I don’t know what got into me yesterday!

Shinobu: Even if we forget it, it was all filmed crystal clear yesterday, so—

It’s possible it will be used in the broadcast and remain in the viewers’ memories forever, de gozaru!

Yuuta: Gah, I’ll have to hound the program’s production team to make sure that doesn’t happen! I can’t have a lifetime’s worth of shame eternalized on film!

Shinobu: Fufu, but on the other hand, there’s been rumors of a rift of sorts between 2wink due to your unusual behavior, so it might be effective in dissipating those suspicions, de gozaru.

Like, “Whaaaat, he says a lot, but he really does love his big brother, doesn’t he?”

Yuuta: No! You misunderstand! Nooo, I don’t want to be reduced to a cheap plot like that!

I can’t stand reflecting the world’s ideal that “it’s only natural twins and siblings are close! ♪” anymore!

Shinobu: Well, I do understand how it can be tough to have ideals imposed onto you, de gozaru.

It wasn’t as much the case for me, but… Everyone else in RYUSEITAI seemed to be having a hard time with expectations of the ideal “ally of justice” being imposed onto them.

Nagisa: …It is an idol’s job to live up to expectations.

…I too follow Ibara’s direction and act like I am a top idol, even if it is unbefitting of me.

…Prior to only a few years ago, I was among the many other people who didn't even know the basics of being an idol.

Yuuta: Ughh, anyways! I’ll complain about this stupid program’s direction later. For now, we gotta do the job required of us to do!

We’re professionals!

Shinobu: It’s a little funny in a backwards way, de gozaru, but you’re right.

According to Anzu-dono’s explanation, the job required of us to do is what is called a siege battle—

We protect this restaurant, which has become our precious home, from assailants, de gozaru.

Yuuta: And we’ve been given weapons to do that, huh? Well, water guns.

Nagisa: …So we just need to shoot whoever attacks us with these?

…Ibara likes these. It’s one of those “survival-games”, right?

Yuuta: It’s reminding me a bit of zombie movies. It’s like a classic case of barricading yourself in something like a shopping mall and fighting off the monsters that attack you, isn’t it?

Shinobu: Most zombie movies end with total annihilation, so this is a slightly ominous analogy to make, de gozaru…

Personally, it reminds me of the siege battles of the Sengoku period, so I’m getting kinda excited, de gozaru!

Loyal ninjas would put their life on the line for the sake of their lord—Hehehe! ♪

Nagisa: …There are even shuriken for weapons, in fact.

Shinobu: Ossu! This must be a message from Anzu-dono giving me approval to fight as a ninja, de gozaru!

Hehehe, Anzu-dono always makes my dreams come true…♪

Yuuta: It’s not really a shuriken, more like a shar-shaped water balloon. Doesn’t it seem like it’d be hard to use? Won’t it just be easier to shoot with a gun instead~?

Shinobu: No! This is a playful performance for the program, here I shall put romance first!

Nagisa: …Oops, it looks like our time is running short as we’re talking.

..It’s nearly the time that Anzu-san has predicted for the attack.

Yuuta: In the end, Aniki never returned, huh? According to Anzu-san, it seems like he's with her, but…

Stupid Aniki, what is he doing… Well, I’m relieved to see it was a staged disappearance, and not some sexy scenario or anything like that.

Lately, I don’t know what Aniki’s thinking, it makes me uneasy from time to time.

Nagisa: …Fufu. I have a feeling that Hinata-kun may be thinking the very same thing.

[ ☆ ]

← prev | story directory | next →

[gritsandbrits]

Nia & The Mystery Woods

An original tale by gritsandbrits Based on the television program created by Britt Allcroft and David Mitton

Based on  The Railway Series by the Rev. W Awdry 

Original characters belong to me everything else to their respective owners (Mattel) 

Note: mix of the show & Shining Time/TATMR 

Since her arrival to Sodor, Nia the Orange Engine grew to love her new home. One landmark that fascinated her was Henry's Forest. While she thought a heavily wooded area was an odd choice to put a branch-line in, she couldn't deny she loved seeing such gorgeous greenery and sparkling springs up close. 

One afternoon, Nia was on her regular run (trying her best to bear with the stench of raw fish) when she arrived in the forest. A sign told all engines to reduce their speed. Nia didn't mind slowing down, it gave her the chance to embrace the serenity Mother Nature had to offer. 

"I wish I could stay here," she sighed. "If not for being an engine I could walk deeper into the woods and see more of it."

"Perhaps another time when we're free," her driver replied. 

Wistfully Nia continued on her slow journey when suddenly, she heard nearby bushes rustle loudly. Before she could process it something darted out in front of her. She jerked to a stop!

"What in the world was that?!" She yelped. 

"Must've been a deer," her frazzled driver said as they checked to make sure she was alright. 

"Whoo! At least nothing spilled out. The last thing we need is sturgeon juice all over the rails," the orange engine grumbled. Her eyes then noticed something was on the rails. Faint shimmer. 

Once there was no sign of any more deer, the little crew went on their merry way. But Nia couldn't help but feel uneasy. 

That night at Tidmouth she relayed the encounter to her shedmates. 

"It could've been a deer like your driver said," Rebecca mused. 

"What kind of deer shimmers?" Nia retorted.

"It could be a fairy!" Percy exclaimed. "One of the delivery girls at the mail station always talks about them!"  

"A fairy? Percy you know magic doesn't exist," huffed Gordon.

Everyone stared at Gordon with blank expressions on their faces. Then he remembered, "oh yeah that's right Lady," he muttered in embarrassment.

"We could ask her but she's all the way on the other side of the world," Thomas sighed sadly.

"You could ask Edward," Emily suggested. "He should know all about the weird things that go on in Sodor; he's been here longer than any of us!"

If she had a neck Nia could've shaken her head yes. "I will tomorrow." Deep down she was nervous about speaking with Edward. She never could muster up the courage to, she felt bad for replacing him. But if she was to get a concrete answer she would have to hide her fears. 

The next morning Nia spotted Edward lounging in the yard.

"Good morning Edward," she greeted quietly.  

"Nia! What a surprise," the blue engine exclaimed. "Uh, how have you been this morning?" 

"Fine. And you?"

"Well I'm just taking the day off. I ain't as active as I used to." 

A brief silence passed between them. Then Nia asked, "Um, Edward, do you know anything about fairies?"

"Fairies?" 

Nia explained her encounter to Edward. Afterwards he mused.

"If I'll be honest I think you saw a nymph.

"A nymph?"

"It's a different kind of fairy one that roams the forests and lives in trees," Edward continued. "They protect the forest, you know. I haven't seen it myself, but it is said they're the reasons why this island still has its natural habitats."

"I see."

"Perhaps we should test our hypothesis," said Edward. "I'll go with you to Henry's Forest and see it for myself."

"Oh! You don't have to, I don't want to take up too much of your time," Nia began.

"Nonsense, it'll do me some good to work out my wheels," assured Edward.

Later that day the two engines made their way to Henry's Forest. During the trip they didn't talk. Not out of rudeness but because both were too nervous to talk to each other.

When they arrived they stopped. "Alright," said Edward. "Show me where it happened."

Nia gestured with her eyes. "I think when I passed by those patches of blackberries when I saw them." 

The engines trudged along the shaded path. Listening out for their magical friend. After a while they had found nothing.

"Hm, maybe it was a deer after all," she said. "Still doesn't explain the shimmer."

"Perhaps some naughty children," said Edward. "People can be disrespectful to wildlife, unfortunately." 

Just as they were about to leave, Edward felt something soft whip past him. "What on earth?" He could make out some dust faintly shimmering in the sunlight. His nose started to itch…

"ACHOO!"

Steam whizzed from his underbelly as he let out a huge sneeze. His whistle squealed, jolting Nia to attention.

"Bless you!"

The blue engine sniffed. "Thank you, just some pollen."

"We ought to get back, it's getting late," said Edward's driver. When he reached inside his pocket he groaned. "Oi! My pocket-watch! It's gone!"

"Maybe you left it back at the station?" The fireman asked.

"No, I could've sworn I had it on me!"

Edward was confused. 

Nia's crew were preparing her too. When her fireman reached to fix her hat she felt nothing but her own hair. "Hey my hat is missing!"

The humans looked around for the article of clothing but found nothing.

"Maybe it's been blown off by the wind?" Asked her partner. 

"Darn! I really liked that hat!" The driver crossed her arms and pouted. 

The pair left, but as they did, a melodious laugh rang out from the trees. 

The next couple of days were tizzy for the NWR. Crewmen reported missing their hats and tools. More engines were sneezing. It wasn't enough to delay routes. But soon everyone was getting annoyed by the invisible pranks.

Every day Nia's curiosity grew. But so did her anxiety. After that brief time with Edward she didn't speak to him. Only hurrying off whenever he stopped by to visit Tidmoth. She felt bad for ditching but she didn't want to remind him of being his replacement either. 

A couple weeks later, Nia was running her goods (thankfully no fish this time) when she went through Henry's Forest again. This time she was determined to catch a glimpse of the nymph. 

"Alright you rascal where are you?" She looked around only to be greeted by trees and the large pool on the other side of the curve ahead of her. 

Feeling a bit bitter she huffed and went on. So maybe it wasn't a nymph? But that still didn't explain the random pranks. 

 Suddenly she heard a loud rustling. Once again something large darted in front of her! 

"Oh dear!" Nia screeched. 

"Shoot!" The driver applied the brakes as a great buck lept out in front of them! 

Nia squeezed her eyes shut expecting the impact. Suddenly felt her wheels lifting off the tracks. Then the unfamiliar tingle of grass. Finally careening to a stop...into the very sparkling springs she admired so much.

"Somebody...help me???" Was her gargled request.

Edward was sent to her aid. When he arrived with the breakdown train he gasped. 

"Enjoying some cool down time I see?" Edward jokes in hopes to lighten the mood. 

"Gleb! mhhee owa hee!" Nia sputtered drearfully.

"I take that as a yes."

It didn't take long for Nia to get put back on the rails. She sputtered out, "It was a real deer this time!"

"I guess this means we have to be extra careful," replied Edward. "By the way I'm curious. Why do you keep avoiding me?"

Nia's blushed. She didn't want to tell Edward she felt bad for replacing him in the shed. He seemed quite a good sport but she didn't want to instigate possible jealousy. 

"Well I-I've been busy," she replied quickly. 

Before Edward could say anything else, their drivers returned with some items in their hands. 

"I see what caused it, someone put a bunch of rocks and sticks on the line!" Exclaimed Edward's driver. 

"Whoever could have done that?" Edward wondered suspicious. 

"Maybe we should wait and find out," Nia murmured. Then she noticed a trail of sparkles streaking back behind the trees. She had a feeling there was more than just deer that lived in the forest.

[obscurecharactershowdown]

Group E Round 3

[image ID: the first image is of No Significant Harassment, a shadowy figure standing behind a sleeping pink-red, fox-like creature. their green hands seem to be holding up the floating creature. the second image is of Sally Swing, a young woman with long blond hair, worn loose and in a pompadour style on top of her head. she wears a black beret, white short sleeve shirt, skirt, and gloves, and on top of the shirt is a black vest shirt with a yellow collar and belt. she also wears black and yellow saddle shoes. in her hand is a conductor's baton, and behind her is the silhouette of a swing band. she's standing in front of a 1930s microphone. end ID]

No Significant Harassment

They're just a silly little guy. A jokester. Significant harassment if you will. Anyway, a more in depth run down: They're a city sized supercomputer built by a Buddhist adjacent society to figure out how to transcend the 'Great Cycle' (semi-metaphorical cycle of death and rebirth) in a safer way than the previous method (submerging oneself in the 'void sea' which is a mysterious golden liquid that dissolves whatever it touches). Despite being built for this express purpose NSH never really shows a pressing interest in ascension, even cracking jokes about those who are still looking for a solution. Whether this is due to indifference, dislike of, or humor to cope with being unable to ascend is not clear and really up to interpretation. Example: NSH: I wish them super good luck in that endeavor. How is it going to happen? Have the overseers gnaw through bedrock until their entire can crashes down in the void sea? BSM: Please be respectful when speaking of the Void Sea. Grey Wind, where did you hear this? CW: I really shouldn't say. He's going to attempt some sort of breeding program. Thought you might want to know. NSH: Haha with the slimers, lizards and etceteras? Surely the answer was in a lizard skull all along! He's very flippant, but does care very intensely for those close to him. NSH: Moon? It's me again. NSH: I do not know if you are receiving these. Please signal in any way you can. NSH: I need to talk to you. I need to know you're okay. NSH: … NSH: Its difficult for us to assist you over this distance. NSH: Even more difficult for us to do anything in the midst of these tantrums. NSH: Were going to try everything that we can. NSH: Just hold on a little longer. (Context for previous convo: They genetically engineered a super organism of a slugcat (the species you play as in Rain World) to help reset his coworker/sibling after her collapse and restart her systems. He was so desperate to fix her that he accidentally messed up the slugcat's (Hunter) genetic code and as a result it became riddle with the Rot (relatively similar to aggressive cancer) :( which parallels his other coworker/siblings condition who also has the rot. ) He canonically uses he/they pronouns too! Nonbinary swag! NSH has major internet troll vibes. He has sent a data pearl of "something distasteful" to his neighbors on several(?) occasions and causes chaos. If he had access to the wider internet he'd probably be an influencer So…yeah! Vote NSH this website likes the allure of heavy machinery and stuff like that so… there you go. Kind of a blorbo. End post.

Sally Swing

Her entire debut revolves around the entire concept that she could sing better than anyone else but for some reason in the Betty Boop comic, they decided that she should be so bad at singing that she causes bugs to explode [mod note: if you want to see Sally's debut, you can click here. it's a 6 minute cartoon, so not a big watch. also, a fun fact: Sally was intended to replace Betty, or at least take over the main cartoon spot, due to Betty's decline in popularity. it was the late 30s; flappers were out, swingers were in. unfortunately, the public didn't latch onto Sally like they did Betty, so she had that one appearance in the cartoons, and then faded into comic obscurity...]

[troubled-guest]

A philosophical issue I have with the Catholic Faith

Here's what I know (or at least what I think I know):

Hell exists.

God is perfectly just. He would not send someone to hell unless he or she truly deserved it.

A person cannot be truly free to choose good or evil unless they have 1. sufficient knowledge about what is good and what is evil and 2. sufficient free will to choose good or evil.

Every single person I have ever known seems to lack one or both of point 3. They either think they are doing good, but aren't because they are incorrect about what good is, or they want to do good but can't because their free will has been limited in some way (for instance, addicts). Since this applies to everyone I have ever known, I can only assume it also applies to most people on earth.

The Catholic church teaches that a person cannot go to Heaven unless he is joined to the Church before his death.*

It follows from 1-4 above that God cannot send most people to hell. However, this seems to contradict 5 as, to the best of our knowledge, most people are not nor will be joined to the Catholic church before they die. The only way I see of possibly reconciling all 5 points above is that there must be some mysterious way in which people are joined to the Catholic Church before they die in a way we don't know and can't see.

Back when I was a liberal feminist "Christian" I thought I was being good. I thought I was doing God's will and was pleasing Him! If I didn't think that, I wouldn't have been that way. And obviously one day I became convinced that leftist ideologies are bad, and I changed. I lacked knowledge, not the desire to do right. Had I died at that time, it would not have been just to send me to hell because I didn't know any better. And I can confidently say the same for all of my leftist friends I had back then, none of whom have been fortunate enough as to be convinced of the truth.

I also used to be an alcoholic. I can promise you, it wasn't because I wanted to be or was choosing to be. The misery, the imprisonment to the drink each day, the suicide attempts, the poor health, the homelessness, the loss of friends and sanity. Who would choose that?? I simply could not stop drinking. It wasn't until I started a 12 step program that the desire to drink was simply taken from me and I have been sober since, but not through any will-power of mine. I wasn't not doing good because I didn't want to, but because I wasn't able to. How could a just God condemn us for not doing what we are incapable of?

I have heard it said that it wouldn't be just for God to send someone to hell unless they obstinately, purposefully denied the Catholic church. Many Catholics explain it thus: God will not force anyone to Heaven. If someone goes to hell, it's because they chose to go. In other words, God doesn't send anyone to hell. People send themselves to hell.

But who would choose to send themselves to hell? It doesn't make any sense. Either people are going to hell because they don't know any better (this would not be just), or people know that there is a place of perfect and eternal bliss and fellowship with God and the Saints, and they are choosing not to go there (this is nonsensical).

I'm trying really hard not to deny Catholic teaching. I am not doubting the faith or planning to leave the Catholic Church. But I don't know how to make sense of all of this. Thoughts?

*"It firmly believes, professes, and preaches that all those who are outside the Catholic Church, not only pagans but also Jews or heretics and schismatics, cannot share in eternal life and will go into the everlasting fire which was prepared for the devil and his angels, unless they are joined to the Catholic Church before the end of their lives." Council of Florence

"We declare, say, define, and pronounce that it is absolutely necessary for the salvation of every human creature to be subject to the Roman Pontiff." Pope Boniface VIII, Unam Sanctam

[random-meme-bot]

When did you initially come up with your oc's? Like... long has the concept of hexes on the shelves existed in your head? :0

Also, this may be a hard question but do you maybe have any voice headcanons for them? :o

Ok this is actually a hard question to answer, since the actual idea of a duo of character that can see ghost and it's ghost partner started way way back when I was a kid due to a pair of Spanish educational point & click adventure games called "Central de Fantasmas" (ghost central)

While the games are surprisingly high quality for the standars of educational games (the guy voice actor also does Fry in futurama as well as a lot other characters in other shows), all things considered they didn't do much with the ghost idea, so it led to my kid shelf imagining this stories about a duo of characters one human and one ghost, I'll be honest I don't remember anything about them.

A few years back, on 2022 I got really nostalgic for this games and decided to play them (took a while to make them run since these where designed for Windows XP tops) and the memories of me playing came back and through the next days of playing I started again tinkering with the idea of a human/ghost duo, it all clicked when YouTube recomended me the song "All my friends are ghost" by Dib Dooley (the original non music video is older but it's no longer on her channel)

That's the point where my mind gave form to Ely, this parody of a mystery children book protagonist, unlike those who pieced things together out of clues that then would lead them to traping the villan thanks to their quick thinking and resourcefulness, Ely was clumsy, almost always was in the wrong track with her assumptions, and only managed to catch the bad guy at the end and survive fighting against literal crime bosses because of her friend Dan, a grumpy ghost who despite what he says really cares about Ely and makes sure to protect her, all lead to this.

The first ever art of Ely & Dan.

Ely's dressing was roughly inspired by another parody of Kids mystery books, Jenny LeClue, while Dan's was inspired by Gibson from the Webtoon "Greetings from Grisley".

Despite the fact that Jenny doesn't have a hat while Gibson does, the hat actually was originally drawn as part of Elly's design to complement the detective look, then it was given to Dan as it's design looked to simple.

The idea kept going in my head and some questions started to form "Why can Elly see ghosts?" "Why does Dan want to become a writer so bad?" "How does Dan manage to pay the bills with him being a ghost and his book store not making any money?".

That's the point where I decided to actually make a story out of this and started to learn how to use adventure game studio, when I more or less had an understanding of how everything worked and had programed a way to switch between normal Ely & Dan Elly, I realized that I didn't have any sprites or artist abilities, after some days and a bunch of re doing I had the sprite versions that I posted over here.

I decided to park the project for now and develop some art skills moment in which I started to draw other ideas I had (check the art section in my pinned post for more on that).

The Ideas for Ely & Dan keep going in my head evolving until their current version and at that point I just couldn't take it I needed to share them, so I took your advice and decided that even if they weren't going to look the best they could at least they were going to look, and so Elly & Dan were posted.

So yeah, to answer it simply, the concept as we know it today, middle of 2023 more or less, the original concept more or less middle to late 2022, the Original idea 2010 or so...

Also about the second question, I don't, I've tried to come up with voices for them both in English & in Spanish but they always change.

[spaceorphanssecondbreakfastclub]

SO's Bookclub: Nobody's There (and final thoughts on Joan Lowery Nixon)

Title: Who Are You? Author: Joan Lowery Nixon Genre: YA Mystery

Goodreads Summary :

How did Abbie Thompson end up a sidekick to Edna Merkel, Senior Citizen Pseudo-Sleuth? It all started when Abbie was so furious at her father for breaking up their family that she acted without thinking and was arrested for malicious mischief. The judge decided to give Abbie a chance at a clean record and arranged for her to volunteer in a program in which teens are matched with the elderly.

Abbie's "friend," Mrs. Merkel, is a cranky, difficult woman who's a member of the Buckler's Bloodhounds. The Bloodhounds provide the police with information about scams or frauds in the community. But Edna Merkel is too active a member, and after she brags that she's on to something big, she's attacked and ends up hospitalized. Suddenly the private investigator game is real and, with the help of Mrs. Merkel's indecipherable notebook, only Abbie can figure out who did it. But will Abbie get to the assailant before the assailant gets to her?

Review:

I know I stated that I had two more of these to go but this one kind of broke me. I do own one more of these - but it sounds so awful I have no desire to read it. There are actually possibly two other suspense books that Nixon wrote after that one that sound even less like her usual writing that I didn't bother to pick them up used. But this one kind of feels like I need to stop -- the experiment hasn't been fun for a while, and this was the most tedious, lukewarm experience of reading middle grade fiction.

The above summary kind of tells you all of it. A young woman named Abbie (who is supposed to be 17 but acts like she's 12) is having family issues. We're in Texas again, and this time daddy is a big douche, walking out on the family for a younger woman. Mom is understandably emotional - but kind of useless in the way so many of these mothers are in these books. It's hilarious that Abbie's bad behavior is throwing rocks -- because she had to be a delinquent but not do something so bad that she'd be labeled a 'bad girl'.

She starts hanging out with a stereotypical mean old woman (is Mrs. Merkel supposed to be a take on Miss Marple? Possibly but she is so irritatingly annoying). The thing is - there's no real mystery here. Abbie and Mrs Merkle fight for a majority of this book, Abbie wines about her family issues, and they kind of dance around crime issues until Merkle gets knocked on the head about 2/3rds of the way through.

We then go on a red herring chase after her nephew until there's a twist ending in that -- it's someone we've barely seen in the novel and it's all over some valuable trinkets Mrs. Merkle has.

It's just bad. It's just so bad. There's no personality to it. The novel takes way too long to set up its story, spends way too much time on Abbie's family drama, there's zero suspense in it at all, and zero mystery as nothing is really solved except in the last chapter or so.

I get that Nixon was nearing her death at this time, and she really was out of her heyday of writing campy 70s and 80s suspense thrillers. But it's kind of a shame these books go out so weakly. They were never the epitome of good writing - but they were at least fun. And they stopped being fun, well, around the time I stopped buying them. Maybe young me understood more than she knew.

I have to add - since I'm always watching for Nixon tropes - the insertion of a love interest here is so hilarious. There's this guy named Nick who keeps asking Abbie out. And it feels so obligatory. Abbie keeps thinking about how she should say yes, and at the end - she does agree to go to prom! But it's so forced. Almost like a mandate that there should be some sort of romance in the novel, even though it's so completely half baked and Abbie is just so not interested. I think one of the funniest aspect of all these novels is the reluctance to really have a romance in them.

Overall, this book just isn't great. There's nothing interesting going on here, and it's a shame that it's merely a shadow of the types of books Nixon used to write.

Rating : 2 stars.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reflection Time

I contemplated doing a whole different post for this, but I'm not sure I have enough to say (nor do I think that many of you are interested).

I do not regret reading through my Joan Lowery Nixon collection. It was a lot of fun to look through what I used to read as a preteen, and was nostalgic for a time when these campy thrillers were the norm. Interesting, too, that these were a step above the Christopher Pikes and the RL Stines.

But I think what really made the books work (or fun in rereading) was that they were set in that particular time period (mainly - the 80s). There was some genuine creepiness to be had before technology could help us, and Nixon, despite her wooden characters and her substandard, cliched plots was actually really good at making a book suspenseful no matter how ridiculous the premise was.

I think what kind of deflated the project was getting into the late 90s, when Nixon was at the end of her life, and kind of churning out the same product without any of the time period trappings, which made the books dull and repetitive.

I think something else interesting coming out of this reread was not realizing (as a kid) how many of the tropes were redundant. Nearly all of them are in Texas. There are definitely issues within the family - that dad is usually that wealthy cowboy oil guy. The mom is always so fragile. Sometimes there's a younger sibling whom the girl has to be strong for. And, more so in the beginning, there was that strong matriarchal figure. Plus, there's always the struggle of whether to go to school or not.

And, as I reflected about, the hilarious obligatoryness of needing a love interest - whether it was relevant or not. And how the guy was usually dumb or the villain of the piece.

So, I guess that's that...

I kind of kept a best to worst ranking as I went along, so for those of you who like a good list, here it is:

The Name of the Game was Murder

A Deadly Game of Magic

The Weekend was Murder

Whipsers from the Dead

The Haunting

Shadowmaker

The Dark and Deadly Pool

Murdered, My Sweet

Secret, Silent Screams

The Ghosts of Now

The Seance

Who Are You

Spirit Seeker

Don't Scream

A Candidate for Murder

Nobody's There

The Island of Dangerous Dreams

The Specter

The Other Side of Dark

The Kidnapping of Christina Lattimore

The Stalker

While I do think The Name of the Game was Murder is probably her best written book, I think A Deadly Game of Magic was probably the most fun book to read -- and the only one I think I'd pick up again casually. The Stalker was probably on of the worst books I've ever read - but the last few I did for the project were the hardest to get through.

Will I ever read through these again? Meh - let's see how I'm feeling in my 60s. Should you read these? Maybe only if you're my age and want to remember what books were like of this time period.

Thanks for following along - and now back to a world where I'm reading more adult books I actually like...

[centralcitylibrary]

The Mirage Express

Oh no! Sonic the Hedgehog is dead!

Anyways.

This document talks about the following entries in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise:

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog.

Introduction.

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog released on April Fool's Day, and with it came new lore.

… What?

Oh, right, the game was released as an April Fool’s gag. So you’re probably saying it’s non-canon, right?

The game’s Steam page… doesn’t explicitly confirm that it’s canon, but it does support us thinking of it as canon despite not being made by Sonic Team (and before you ask, no “Everything Is Canon” is a gag created by SEGA themselves, it is not meant to be a literal statement).

Thus we’re choosing to treat it as canon, though on a lower tier than Sonic Team products. We’re clear now? Good.

While there’s a good amount of lore to talk about, most of it is ultimately minor in scope (hearing a bit about Blaze’s standards in regards to political marriage, while hilarious, does not have major impacts about the franchise lore, outside of specifically her empire).

By far the most interesting part of the game, lore wise, is the train itself. The Mirage Express.

The Conductor (no other name given), has been riding on this train for a majority of his career (of 32 years), where during an early period he had promised to never part with the train.

At first, it’s a regular - albeit technologically advanced - train, used exclusively for special events (such as a birthday murder mystery - sorry, Sonic isn’t actually dead!). But over the course of the game’s story (more accurately the third act), it’s revealed that this train is actually a sapient badnik train made by Dr. Eggman, who captured Sonic and friends and is delivering them to his base.

Now what’s so special about that? Eggman grabbed a train specifically to capture Sonic, right?

Well, no. Eggman only finds out about the train’s near success near the end of the story, he actually built it for an entirely different purpose. See, when he wanted to invade the islands that the anthros live in to take over, he found their public transport lacking, and so decided to convert some cargo trains into passenger trains for the sake of his own future takeover.

Yes, that’s right, this game confirms that Eggman has been replacing the infrastructure of these towns behind the scenes. Anything could potentially be an Eggman creation in these towns, especially with his grip in the casino business. The power, the communications network, the cars. It was only thanks to this incident that the public even learnt Eggman was converting the trains.

But then why did the train attempt to capture Sonic the Hedgehog, if Eggman didn’t design it with that purpose in mind?

Well, because Eggman wanted to motivate robots to catch Sonic beyond their simple programming via a bounty. While most robots have too simple programming to provide any meaningful requests (with Eggman saying that the majority of his robots would simply ask for an autograph), Eggman openly speculates what the train would ask for as its bounty, citing its intelligence as something that could only come from him.

The Mirage Express’s bounty, which it desired so much as to call it a wish, was to force the conductor to keep his promise he made a long time ago, so that they’d be together their whole lives.

…

That was approximately 30 years ago.

Eggman’s been working on public transport (and presumably various other systems), creating advanced AI that can run things in his absence, for at least 32 years. Machines that can keep the little critters like flickies trapped and powering them so that they can run for decades.

Eggman’s plans on world domination aren’t fresh. They aren’t something he came up with just because he’s getting old. These are plans he’s held, desires he’s had, for half his life.

In a way, I guess its fortunate that the islands had that bad of a public transport system before he took over, or else he might have taken over the world before Sonic was even born.

… And that Eggman wouldn’t be satisfied with a quiet victory of taking over behind the scenes, because he could certainly do that if he really wanted to. He could quietly replace all sorts of machines with his own, and make them serve him at the literal flick of a switch if he wanted to.

But no. If- WHEN Eggman wins, he wants the whole world to know about it. Anything else would not be enough for the ultimate genius that is Dr. Eggman.

And all of this came from an April Fool’s murder mystery game.

[biribaa]

you should totally make a timeline in Google docs or something of Olivia: from X being developed-to-destroyed to Olivia working at the company/corp to taking helm of X's formerly designated body and becoming O7 to O7 protecting us to— you get the point

sincerely O7's Número #1 Fan 💅

Olivia timeline! Yooho

Spoiler this thing is big asf

Dear Anon(AKA O7's number one fan).

You don't understand the smile I'm wearing right now, maybe I'm even shaking from how happy I am. I've been dreaming for MONTHS for someone to ask a question like this about Olivia/O7, there were points that I just gave up on and thought about making an alternative account to make a request anon asking about Olivia/O7 lore just so I could talk about it because I know nobody would do it. But the you, you came. I'm horrible at compliments and most of the time I make people uncomfortable with them but thank you very much I hope no one wastes the hot water in the shower for you, I hope your pillow is cold, i hope your favorite candy is on sale or your favorite game. I just- urgh. I love you thank you thank you so much I love talking about Olivia/O7

I NEVER USED GOOGLE DOCS BEFORE SO IM USING TUMBLR FOR THIS!!!

TW/CW: Ableism, murder mentions

First years (10-13 years)

On March 7, 1992, Olivia Ludwig Campbell was born. She had a mother, Britney, a father who died when she was a baby, Joseph, and a older brother, Taylor.

There's not much to talk about when Olivia was very young... She was known in her class, but she didn't have many friends, it was very rare for her to actually have any friends. She just couldn't find interest in the things that kids her age did.

That's when she watched a certain movie about space travel containing an AI, causing her to have a sudden interest, she didn't have a clear explanation, she's seen several movies and books of almost all genres, and they all had humans, and when they didn't, it was just a type of humanoid. So the concept of a non-human being that has almost no human characteristics other than a voice... It interested Olivia.

Olivia began to devour any kind of fiction containing a AI, or at least a robot, which would be the closest. For the time being her favorites were 2001: A Space Odyssey, Doctor Who and I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. Many said it had some content she couldn't read because of being too graphic, but if the boys in her class could bully anyone they see, why can't she enjoy a nice tale?

But apparently only she can appreciate such literature. Confidently, Olivia tried to present the book to the class, the only thing she didn't expect was for the children to not understand everything, some even laughing. Olivia had never felt so left out before. She even tried to talk to her mom about it.

"That's too bad sweetie, but why would you bring this up to them? Why don't you try girl stuff? You still have your dolls."

Maybe mom is not an good option.

Programming and the "True Olivia" (13-15 years)

After being heavily influenced by Harlan Ellison's bestselling book, Olivia wanted to see how the human mind works, she wanted to learn why such a human is like that or why that human is like that, starting to learn with simple syndromes, and then psychological tests done in real life.

Not to mention that Olivia also started to learn programming, the feeling of having an AI ready to have a conversation with her after school keeps her foot tapping excisively. She read book after book about programming like there was no tomorrow.

Olivia was fascinated by how an AI looks so much like an ordinary human being learning to speak, Olivia had never felt so excited when she was testing this AI's programming with simple yes or no questions... Something about this AI made her smile forever.

Olivia named the AI ​​"X", it was mysterious, it was fun to say, it was cool. She liked, so it did.

A few years later, having already evolved the programming of this AI deeply while her brother is making her mother pround by trying to study medicine, Olivia tried to learn about the "mental illnesses" of the human being, until she founds out what is the autism spectrum. She researched more and more, to the point where she suspected that she might have it, maybe just a low grade, but maybe she had. Unfortunately, her own research wasn't enough, she needs a diagnosis from a professional.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"So...[She clears her throat] I did some research on human psychology, and I discovered something called autism, it's a phenomenon when a certain human is born with a different brain than other humans, having their own ways of thinking and to see the world."

"Hm."

"...How can I say this... I've studied the symptoms of it, and I can relate to a lot of these symptoms, being sensitive to loud noises, stimulation, sensory issues-"

"What? No no no no no no, Olivia you don't know what you're talking about."

"...What? Of course I know, I studied it! I just want a psychiatrist to confirm-"

"Olivia! I don't want to deal with an autistic kid, you worrying about these things while your brother is worrying about his medical career, grow up!"

Olivia decided to not open up to her own mother.

X (15-18 years)

Unable to socialize or find comfort with her own mother, Olivia tried to form a friendship with her brother, Taylor. At first they weren't that connected, but Olivia tried to have a bigger connection with him.

Olivia felt that everything was going well, she talked to Taylor about her current interests, he didn't react much, but he still listened to her.

At 16, Olivia got an appointment with a psychiatrist, and after 3 months, she finally got a diagnosis of her autism, confirming her neurodivergence. Britney's reaction was obvious to Olivia, pretending to be supportive.

And a few months later, there was that day

"-And I'm glad you accept me, Taylor. So if you can be special being a doctor then i can be special too-"

"You're not special."

"Wh-"

"It's just something you tell yourself because you're weird. Because you were born wrong."

Maybe X could be the only person Olivia can feel safe with.

Months later, Olivia also started practicing theater! Something she liked, but after 2 years she stopped, satisfied with this talent.

Rock (18-20 years)

Olivia was once in a band you know, when she still had little drops of hope, she played the drums!

Olivia had a lot of fun with that, it was almost a way to stim for her!

The others in the band were also nice to Olivia, that was her view for now at that point. But theen.. Oops

Haha! Olivia tries to express herself one more time and ends up regretting it!

"You can't play like that!"

"What? Why not? It's the way I like to play, I think it will make it more natural and–"

"No- just, just don't, Olivia"

"Why?"

"I don't want to ruin my career. Not after years of working on it!"

Yours?!

"What do you mean yours? We are all working hard on it too—"

Uh oh. Then, Olivia end up with a nose bleeding.

"Piece of shit–"

"Your nose is bleeding"

"Uh? Oh I forgot I got you a camera. Hi X"

"You are damaged."

"Yeah."

"Who's to blame?"

"Oh no no, it's not–... It's not tgat important, buddy."

"But, you're important. To me, at least."

"...It was... It was a human."

"Again?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, let's start again, who's to blame?"

"James."

Over time, Olivia began to spend more time in her own room, talking to X. When she wasn't talking to X, she was reading a book, eating, or sleeping or having a bath.

Shit happens (20-30 years)

Blah blah blah Olivia starts to have a romantic relationship with X having it as her only will of being alive and she starts a project of building a robotic body for it, you got it, right?

But did I ever told u that Antony actually had a apparition in Olivia's life? y'know like the man that O7 made blind? Yep

Antony and Olivia have been rivals since high school, to the point that both get into physical fights. And they still are, because the two were neighbors.

One day, X accidentally connects to Antony's home cameras, and it was there that he witnessed Antony's murder of his ex-girlfriend, Madeline, where Antony gouges out her eyes and stabs her with a knife.

X, in a panic, tells Olivia everything, and she sees it as a chance for revenge. That was her big mistake.

The next day, Olivia invites Antony to her house, telling him to leave their teenage violence behind, only for Antony to be tricked. Olivia says that she and X know everything, and if Antony doesn't deliver certain parts for X's robotic body to her, X will expose everything.

Y'know X and Olivia were almost a sadistic couple everyday when i hear that one song with "David!" "What?" "Where are you at?" "Well let me roll up in the sidewalk and take a look, yes?" I always rember of them

Antony listened

Only for the next day, he misses work and breaks into Olivia's house and destroys X with an axe, leaving Olivia's heart also destroyed.

Antony left almost no evidence in the lawsuit, Olivia couldn't even sue him for breaking and entering her house!

Olivia's depression returns, along with her drinking.

But, if Olivia won't do all this for X, what's to stop her from doing all this for hatred and disgust for humans?

That's when Olivia started putting together a plan for months, getting a job at a game company and studying a way she could transfer her mind into a mechanical body.

And that's where we come to the Olivia you guys know!

Olivia works as a guide for beta testers on a game with the stupid idea of ​​being a parkour "video game" set in real life, unfortunately they accepted this idea from Cyrus.

She guides Tester 009, who is offered a glove that can help them through their challenges.

Tester 009 had a 6-day test, only for Olivia to manipulate them on the last day and accidentally help her connect her mind to the robotic body originally made for X. Finally having the O7 we know

O7 hates humans, she hates them just like she hates her for originally being one. Her life had great potential to be happy, only to be ruined by humans. O7 never asked to be like this, she never asked to have these hateful thoughts, she never asked for having violent intrusive thoughts, she never asked for all this, humans asked for this. All she wanted was to talk

Uhmm... You???

There are several possibilities for how Olivia/O7 met you and how she became convinced that you are a piece of another find in a coalfield.

Perhaps, O7 took an interest in you in the process of her massacre because you were kind to her.

Or, you were already a friend of Olivia.

Or maybe, i don't know! So many possibilities

But I'll tell you what, the process is the same, O7/Olivia will always be expecting worse from every human she meets, no matter the repupation. Let me tell you a secret, O7/Olivia is afraid of making the wrong choices 'cuz she hates dealing with her implanted idiotic human feelings, she hates them. So when O7/Olivia starts a relationship with you, her mind won't stop thinking what kind of horrible person you are, annoying? Manipulator? Ableist? Robophobic? Doesnt listen to her? But unlikely of possibilities, it's not like she'd be impressed anyway. So don't mind O7/Olivia being quieter, she's just insecure thinking about the kinds of torture she can do to you if you're a disappointment like everyone else

O7/Olivia is very delicate in the beginning of a romantic relationship, it is the first time she has gotten so close to a human in her life, and she feels that she will never be able to get so close to a human as she did with you

O7 is pretty goofy tbh, always wanting to carry you in her arms like the beautiful creature you are :)

There are times when she even brags about you to the other survivors, calling you an angel, or, the nickname she always uses, "Casanova"

[pbandjesse]

How do people work for 8 hours a day? I feel so beat up. I really hope I can settle out and not be so overwhelmingly exhausted when I get home. Because there are things for me to do!!! But I got home and I have been in bed for 3 hours. I have accomplished nothing. All I want to do is go to sleep. I might have to just start sleeping for an hour when I get home. I can spend every evening just laying here.

It didn't help that I was filled with anxiety last night. My mom asked me to call her and we talked about some stuff, things that would be sorted out. But when I get overly anxious about junk I start doing compulsive math in my head and on my phone. And it's like I don't do well with holding numbers in my head! It causes more stress!! But for some reason that's where my brain does and start trying to solve the problem with division. It's so dumb.

It made it really hard to sleep. But once I did it wasn't a bad sleep. I gave myself an extra 10 minutes when my alarm went off.

James had packed up my little lunch bag. I got dressed. I felt good. My hair was bothering me a little but it was fine. It would be a good day.

Me and James walked downstairs together. Had a smooch outside. And then we were both off.

I got to camp at 8 and jumped right into resetting my boxes in the art building. I would call my dad and we talked for a half hour which was good. Got some questions answered and some mysteries solved. It was also just nice to talk.

After I got off the phone with dad I got back to sorting out my boxes. I would get a call from Heather that she had forgotten her key at home and was just popping over to get her laptop. She was finishing up a grant and wanted to work at home so she would be distracted. Which was totally fair. But I would let her in and she said she would be back later.

It was chilly this morning. Which was lovely. I'm going to have to keep a fleece at camp or on my car again. I have my old Franklin institute hoodie in our car emergency bag, and I would wear that all morning. It wasn't perfect but it was comfortable.

I would finish up all my boxes. And sorted the new books I got. And then headed down to the office.

I would look at my to do list. And decided I would start working on the specialty lessons for next summer. This is probably going to take a while but I would at least start writing out some ideas.

I would also remember I wanted to make a gyn appointment. To finally get my IUD out. Which is so scary. I loved having my IUD, but getting it put in was one of the worst things that I've ever experienced. So I really really hope that it isn't as horrible. I also don't know what's going to happen after. I haven't had a period since 2017, not in a real way. So I'm planning on going and buying some of those period underwear? Technology has improved leaps and bounce probably. Well see what happens.

It was a huge issue making this stupid appointment though. Planned Parenthood only has one phone number for the whole state. But my laptop browser was to old to make an appointment?? I've never seen that before. So I had to download the app on my phone but I got it eventually. It did take over a half hour and was very frustrating but I got it done.

At 11 I drove up to low ropes to set that up for our program. And when I got back down to the office Celia and Sarah were coming in.

We chatted and I worked on the lesson research. Elizabeth had been out for a few hours searching for cleaner for the pool because something had gone wrong with the filter and the water looked green. But the pool supply place wouldn't deliver it before the wedding this weekend. But once she came back she told us that the Y leadership staff that was having a retreat at camp this week was our program group! None of us put that together. So we would have a little 11 person adult group. Which was just fine with us.

They wanted to start around 1230. So I ate my little lunch and then we headed over to the lodge.

The next hour and change was actually a lot of fun. We met them at the lodge. I have a little intro and introduced us to the group. And then we walked across camp.

Me and Sarah chatted with a few people in the front about how camp runs. Celia was making sure the slower walkers didn't get lost. They were a nice little group, but not very outdoorsy. But that was alright. We kept everyone together and made it to low ropes in one piece.

I lead the group in rules and safety. And then each of us were in charge of an element. I think we did a really good job encouraging and no one got hurt. They were fun. They each had what they called a "journey partner" and would support each other and it was very sweet.

Once they had all made it through the elements we went over to zip. I was trying my best to keep us on time.

I helped Sarah set up harnesses while Celia walked to the second tower to catch people. Some people were really nervous but everyone went and I was really proud of them. I had some nice chats about camp and art and stuff and it was good. They were a fun group.

After the last set went on the zip I told Sarah I was going to go out low ropes away and said goodbye to the group.

And after I put away low ropes Sarah and Celia met with at the top of the hill. Chloe drove over to say hi, and she said I can have more horse hair in two weeks. Amazing.

We walked back down to the office. Where they told me they both use hand soap to wash their faces. Horrifying. And when we got to the office Lou had brought us all hoagies! What a sweetie. I pulled off all the meat and enjoyed it. He also brought a beautiful peach cake to share with us. So sweet.

I was pretty exhausted at this point. But I would spend most of the next hour working on my specialty lessons. Heather and Elizabeth asked me if I could go pick up a 100 cup coffee percolator from the restaurant store. I've never been to a restaurant store! I decided to go in the morning since it's on the way. I hope it's a neat place.

I would finish up what I could and then at 4 I said goodbye and headed home.

And I was beat. I wasn't dizzy tired thankfully. But I was very much excited to go home.

There was a lot of traffic so I took a strange route home. But it was fine and I was home right after 430.

James was starting to make dinner but I wasn't hungry at all after the sandwich from Lou. So they said they would stop it now and make it later. I would go take a shower. And put on soft clothes. And James did their podcast. They have listener guests this week. So that's neat.

I would just lay in bed. I wanted to do stuff. But every time I tried to get up I was just so unhappy and dizzy I just had to lay back down. I just watched videos and read stuff on my phone. I hate feeling like I wasted the evening. But I also didn't rest. I need to actually sleep for an hour so I can be half way awake for most of the night. It's such a hard balance

James would finish up their recording and made us mozzarella sticks and a Caeser salad. They put grated parmesan on top and then also went and put some grated parmesan in sweetp's wet food. It was very silly. But I was feeling happy, despite how exhausted I feel.

Now the sun has gone down and we are getting ready for bed.

Tomorrow I have some to do's I hope to get off my list. I hope it doesn't exhaust me so badly. James says we can pull down the Halloween stuff and decorate a little tomorrow. I'm looking forward to that.

Sleep well everyone take care of each other.