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screechthemighty · 2 years

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Nothing witty to preface this update with today, I just love Fayteos. AO3 update in a link, full fic tagged on my blog, newest chapter below!

so i may as well ditch my dismay | part 2/?

cws: depression mention

The next time Faye saw him, he had patched a battered cloak from the Traveler’s camp and attached some of the wolf fur to it. It made him look a lot less like a bear and a lot more like a random wanderer. He could have been anyone, had it not been for his skin tone and those piercing golden eyes. “Good hunting today?” she called from a safe distance.

Fárbauti’s gaze shot up to her, his body moving to shield the snare he was checking. He relaxed when he saw that it was her–not much, but enough. At least he trusted she wouldn’t steal from him. “Hmm,” he grunted. “Well enough.” He finished removing his catch from the snare. “You’re far from home.”

“I needed a change,” Faye admitted. She’d started feeling that sense of wrongness again. The trees of her forest had started to blend together, life started to blend together. She needed to see other trees, other places, to remind herself that the world still existed. “Wanted to get out before the snow started.”

“Soon?”

“I think so.” She couldn’t say for sure, but something in her gut said that it would be soon. The clouds lingered longer. The air was sharp with cold, and frost clung to most surfaces in the mornings. She could feel it pinching her cheekbones as they spoke. “Anyone giving you any trouble?”

The question earned her another grunt–no, this was more of a huff. Not quite a laugh, but it seemed like the question had amused him. “No,” he said. “You?”

“I’ve been all right.” The last bit of trouble she’d gotten into had been that Traveler, and that was something she’d sought out herself. “Be careful, though. The cold always brings out the worst in people. They get desperate.”

Though of course, once the words were out of her mouth, Faye realized how ridiculous they must have sounded. Fárbauti was built like a mountain. People might be desperate, but very few were actively stupid. There was still some risk assessment involved. If it were her, she’d think twice before trying to steal from him. No wonder he’d laughed earlier.

He didn’t laugh again. Instead, he asked, “Are there…other threats I should know of?”

Faye wasn’t sure why she was so taken aback. He must have worked out that she lived here. If he was new to the area, he’d want to ask her. “The frost trolls become more active,” she said, “but they’ll usually leave you alone if you leave them alone. The ogres prefer to hunker down, so just avoid any caves you aren’t familiar with. Draugr are going to be your biggest problem.”

Fárbauti’s brow creased slightly. “Draugr are…?”

“Oh, you’ve definitely seen them. Sort of look like…skeletons held together with fire?” She hunched her shoulders and imitated their growling noises. “Those?”

His face went from confused to understanding, in a very annoyed way. “Hrm.”

“Thought so.” Faye felt sorry for them, truly, but she also wished they would stop attacking her. “The tatzelwurms aren’t so active in the cold, you’ll be glad to know. Or they’re not usually.”

That was what bothered her. There was still something strange about the forests as of late. She had thought, hoped really, that it was just her imagination, that she just wasn’t used to being outside of her protective sphere anymore, but…no, something was wrong. Her first instinct, and likely the correct one, was to wonder what exactly Odin had done. There was nothing specific that pointed to Aesir nonsense, but who else could it be? Unless Fárbauti was somehow responsible. Faye didn’t think so. There was certainly something strange about him, but he didn’t seem like he was the cause of…whatever this was.

“Trying to stay fed is going to be your biggest concern. And staying warm. Speaking of…” She tilted her head back the way she’d come. “...fresh tree fell down over one of the roads back there. Wood should still be good. You can take what you want if you help me with it.”

Fárbauti stared at her again with the same confused look he’d given her before. Faye braced herself for distrust, an interrogation. Why make that offer? What do you really want? But in the end, he must have needed firewood, because he just grumbled to himself (no words, more an emotion, she guessed). “Lead the way,” he said.

Well, that was easy. She just hoped neither of them regretted it.

Kratos did not understand this woman. Four meetings, the first one violent, and here she was casually offering to chop wood with him. Was she mad, or just naive?

He didn’t think it was either. She seemed too stable to be mad, and there was too much weariness in her eyes for her to be naive. Perhaps this was her way of saying she found him attractive, but…no, he doubted that. Kratos hadn’t seen himself in some time, but he was sure he looked far from his best. He didn’t feel like anything worthy of attraction.

The wolves, he realized. She had been so distressed by the way they’d been slaughtered. Perhaps she only had a bleeding heart and decided he was worthy of her…what, pity? Compassion? He wasn’t, not of either. He wasn’t sure he wanted to give her the chance to learn that.

But he also wasn’t going to say “no” to easy firewood.

The tree wasn’t hard to find. Kratos was surprised to see that it was across a real path, not one of the barely-visible ones he’d traversed lately. It looked freshly cleared, too. “People moving through?” he asked, scanning their surroundings warily.

“Oh, no, just me. I just got sick of nearly tripping over myself every time I wanted to get around.” She picked her end of the tree and drew her axe. “Do not tell my blacksmith I’m doing this. I left my wood cutting axe at home.”

Kratos grunted and moved to his end.

They chopped in silence for some time. Kratos occasionally glanced her way, instinctively searching for potential threats. There were none; she kept her eyes on her work, her axe in constant, steady motion.

She was stronger than she looked. Each swing sank deep into the wood. Had that been an enemy, it would have been dead in one strike. Kratos remembered the weight of her blows during that fight and compared them to the weight now.

Had I been anyone else…

He was staring. He forced his focus back to the wood. The work was something, at least. He based the quality of his days on whether or not he accomplished anything. As much as it pained him, he’d been forced to lower his expectations on what counted as accomplishment. Today was exceptional: he had left his cave and was gathering supplies.

Two days ago, he’d barely been able to rouse himself.

Perhaps it had been longer. It was difficult to tell some days.

“Hey,” Faye called suddenly. When he glanced up, she had taken a step back and was holding up a water skin. The sun had moved, making her hair alight like a fire. “You should drink. Don’t want you falling over dead.”

Again, her words amused him. It wasn’t her fault; she had no way of knowing he’d survived far worse than minor dehydration. But if he did not stop, she may worry, perhaps even ask questions. So he embedded his axe in the tree and sat down next to it, pulling out his own water skin.

“Hungry?”

Faye was holding out some kind of cake. Kratos wasn’t, not really, but again he took the offered food to avoid suspicion. He was not in the habit of turning down food, anyway.

But most other people weren’t in the habit of offering.

He was distracted by his confusion at her actions when he took the first bite of the cake. It was…sweet. “You found honey?” he asked.

“Yeah, good find, that.” She pulled out a second cake and started eating. “I swear, the bees are getting craftier. It’s been impossible to find anything lately.” She shrugged. “Hey, if you find me some edible mushrooms, maybe we can trade?”

He couldn’t tell if she was joking or not. He also knew he didn’t need honey. It was a luxury. He didn’t have time to indulge.

But the thought did linger.

She might have imagined a spark of interest in his eyes at the mention of the honey. Faye knew that. That didn’t stop her from squirreling away a little container of it on her person, just in case she saw him again. She’d been planning on just giving it to him. Mushrooms would be nice to have, of course, but she wasn’t going to deny another lost soul the chance at some happiness for her own benefit. That would be cruel of her.

But when he showed up not too far from the Lake with a bundle of dried mushrooms, she wasn’t going to say no to those either.

Besides, Faye had a feeling he’d feel better about trade than charity. He still seemed suspicious whenever she was nice. This was a transaction. Much easier to accept.

And, if she wanted to be practical about it, the exchange did open up some possibilities.

“If there’s anything you think you’ll need, I can keep an eye out,” she said, “if you can find more than these. I must have picked everything in my part of the woods.”

Fárbauti grunted. His gaze had stayed fixed on the honey. Faye wondered if he’d be willing to accept a little bit of bread as part of the next trade. Say I made too much? Burn a little? She’d definitely helped more than a few stubborn people back when she was more active. Surely one of the tactics would work with him.

“...I haven’t…” He glanced her way, then looked back at the honey. “...had luck with fishing.”

Well, that was fortunate. She was starting to get good at it again. “I think I can help with that.”

And that was how it went on and off as winter started to settle in. If she needed something she couldn’t find in her woods, she passed it off to him. In exchange, he would tell her something he couldn’t find. They started meeting near the lake, near the tree they’d trimmed down to clear the road, near the river that ran past his cave. Sometimes, it wasn’t even on purpose; there were just only so many places on this side of the lake that were safe to move around, so many paths one could take. Theirs always seem to intersect with each other.

Honestly, Faye couldn’t say she minded.

#faye: i will be nice to this man he seems to need it #kratos: WHAT IS YOUR ENDGAME #god of war #fayetos #fic: so i may as well ditch my dismay

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prince-liest · 1 year

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I’m pretty behind on posting some of the zine fics that have finally been Released (TM) unto the world, and while in a few cases it’s honestly just an energy thing wrt tagging and formatting, I’ve also come to terms with the fact that I’m probably never going to post at least a couple of them

and it’s kinda because they’re just deeply mediocre. not even bad, just... thoroughly uninteresting and frankly not really worth reading.

which sounds like an awful thing to say about a zine fic, because that’s usually the sphere of writing where I feel like I actually owe it to people to do my best to write something that knocks it out of the park, but I don’t feel particularly guilty about it because the common thread between all of the fics that hit the ‘so meh that I don’t even want to post them’ checkmark is that they’re fics I wrote for zines where the mods turned out to have extremely exacting and specific preferences for what they wanted written

like, zine writing by default is already pretty restricted. you’re writing within a specific and fairly short word count, it has to be a complete short story, it usually has to be rated T at “worst,” and you are also usually writing for a specific character/pairing/whatever-the-zine-theme-is. and then on top of that, you usually have submitted a few prompts and have to write the prompt that was selected by the mods and doesn’t overlap too much with anybody else’s prompt.

so when you throw a lot of nitpicky particularities on top of that to the point where you’re micromanaging your writers’ stories, it’s just... I mean, obviously you’re not going to get my writing that you saw in my app. there’s actually a zine I was asked to guest for that got so particular about things that I ended up leaving the zine because it felt like they ideally would have just wanted to dictate EXACTLY their vision, which: lmao, at that point you better be paying me, yfm?

anyway, I’ve just been thinking about it lately because there are some zine fics I’ve written that I really love, but since I’ve finished all of my zine writing as of the other month, it’s been a whole different experience just writing entirely for myself again. I’m not nixing zines forever, but I’m definitely not going to be applying for any unless I happen to see one that’s very up my alley

#personal #zines #'very up my alley' yeah danmei or bust #actually quite sad that hualian zine tanked I was hyped for that #and it really didn't need to go down the way it did lol

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voidcat-senket · 2 years

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Get to know your fic writer! 1, 10, 14, 26, 39, 54, 65, 74

1. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

One shots are more immediately satisfying, but finishing a multi chapter fic feels more satisfying long-term… I think I PREFER multi-chapter fics because they’re more likely to completely surprise me with where they go, so it’s really cool to experience!! But… I waste a lot of time thinking about the WIPs I never finished 😅

10. Cltr+f "blinks" on your WIP & copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up

I’m writing in past tense lol

14. how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

Through tears 😂 I definitely feel what they feel, and I am of the firm belief that it’s impossible to write anything without at least some of your personal experience directing what you put on the page. Even if the actions are all foreign, the emotions are familiar. Maybe they’re punched up a lil bit 😉 (but tbh I feel pretty intensely, I was the Crier in my acting classes) the hard part for me with emotional scenes is actually writing it down cause sometimes I dissociate imagining the scene and I realize I’m paragraphs ahead of what I’m actually writing 🤦

26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Oh Closing the Space (Between Us) 1000% I had NO idea where that would go when it started and wow the thing that happens after chapter 29… I won’t speak further on it in case of spoilers but…. Yeah. I’m very proud of it 🥲 I wish things didn’t disappear so fast in the online sphere. Ah well.

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

[spoilers]

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

The… the reviews..?? But seriously, being able to affect someone with my writing, explore something new/more deeply about beloved characters, so it’s basically true. Fanfic is a special way of being in community. I have a lot of Feelings about it!!

65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

A scene where Leorio and Kurapika are fighting (verbally) and Leorio spills his feelings all over the carpet in the desperate hope that he can knock some sense into Kurapika’s self-sacrificing brain. I’m gonna make myself cry and hopefully everyone else too! 🥰

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

Space/moon&sun imagery (killugon was tailor made to punch me in the feelings lol), and an overabundance of adverbs lol. Rudely sudden angst

#omg you sent me so many #thanks 💜#writing stuff #I hope this was at least entertaining :p #the crow bit is from my novel #…that is also kinda HxH AU fanfic #HAHAHAHA #it’s lesbian killugon tbh

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aimmyarrowshigh · 3 years

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2021 Fic Roundup Meme

Total Fics Posted: 1,036, but that will be out of date by the actual end of 2021 because I need to do daily drabbles and finish the Steve Bingo drabbles by the end of the 31st! Total Words Posted: 147,576, which ironically is the lowest annual total, I think, since I started doing these roundups back on LiveJournal. Although I don’t think I even bothered to do a 2019 or 2020 roundup because I’d posted virtually nothing. Total Words (of Anything Excluding Blogs) Written: Somewhere between 250,000-300,000, I think. The first quarter of 2021 was dismal for writing -- not just for me, I think, but for most of the, like, writing world. So I can’t be too down on myself about it. Most of what I’ve written this year, I’ve posted right away because it’s been drabbles, but I do have probably 50k of unposted Old Guard WIP stuff and 70k so far of unposted Stucky. And 7k of unposted Wanda Maximoff smut that may never get finished, haha. My favorite fic story this year: I mean, the only one that “counts” that I posted this year is Wish You Were Here, which is on an extended hiatus at the moment. I do like WYWH and I think it’s not bad, but I definitely struggle with writing it -- vignettes are essentially a bunch of short stories and I forgot that I massively struggle with short stories (ironically, given drabbles). And I still haven’t figured out what happens character-growth-wise during one part of it and it’s killing me. My best story this year: It’s hard, because I’ve posted so fucking many drabbles and most of them are like, “well, this exists” but every once in a while I get a turn of phrase exactly right. I can’t remember any in particular that I’m particularly proud of, but there aren’t any that I’m NOT proud of, either. Story most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: It sticks in my craw a little bit when someone requests a drabble and then doesn’t give it a kudo, especially if it’s for a more rarepair or niche fandom where, you know, no one else is going to, either. But that’s just me being crabby. I do feel like maybe I would feel more urgency with regard to WYWH if I felt like there were an audience for the story, but I also knew going in that it was a minor, non-canon pairing in a fandom with a MASSIVE canon ship that dominates EVERYTHING in the fic sphere, so I can’t actually be rightfully disappointed by that, either. I would love anything I write to grab people’s attention in a way that made them want to reach out and comment or message or kudo, but I also know that we’re moving into a post-feedback internet era, so again, I can’t rightfully want more than I get. I was spoiled by 1D fandom and, more than that, hugely spoiled by web 1.0 fandom and LJ fandom when it comes to feedback and attention. These days I’m just flattered anyone reads at all. (Although I will be Literally Devastated if no one reads my stucky when it comes out, I’m ngl.) Sexiest Story: I don’t tend to write sexy drabbles very often because it’s hard to build sexual tension in fewer than 100 words, so the payoff to a sexy drabble is always a little... premature. (Ba dum bum!) But here are the E rated drabbles if you want them! Most fun story: Oooh... honestly, pretty much every day, there’s at least one drabble that is particularly fun for me to write, so I’m not sure. The Continuing Adventures of Cap & Molly tickle me (thanks @therebeccaw) and I love writing Yelena/Kate. I love dunking on Booker in Booker/Nile fic. I love writing Darcy. I love writing the Peter Parkers and MJ. I love writing Gomez/Morticia. I think probably some of the Addams Family drabbles were the most fun, maybe. Maybe. Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: To coopt myself from the 2012 meme, “if I write a fic and it doesn’t change my feelings on the characters or fandom in some way, then I don’t think I wrote it correctly.” Hardest story to write: WYWH. Biggest surprise: Actually sticking to the drabbling! In the past when I tried Three-Line Fic Thursday and Five-Sentence Friday, I failed miserably, and I’ve failed myself at drabble challenges, too. But for some reason this time it’s stuck and is genuinely working to remind me that I can get words out, I can have ideas, and I can get those ideas out in words. Yay! A story I want remembered: I mean, if I wrote anything this year that anyone remembers fondly, that makes me happy. Resolutions for 2022: FINISH LENT FROM TOMORROW (TODAY WAS TOO SMALL FOR US). BE A FINISHER. FINISH THE THING. Also, do Femslash February and a drabble March Madness, probably.

#fandom #fanfiction #fic roundup meme #wish you were here #lent from tomorrow (today was too small for us)

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skaylanphear · 3 years

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Hi there! Do you have any advice on improving traction towards a fanwork/fic? I love writing—and it's not for notoriety by any means—but having validation and feedback also feels nice (I hope that's not conceited). What would you recommend to someone without a large audience/follower base? I do "advertise" on tumblr when my work is written/updated on AO3. How did your journey start? Thank you!

This is an interesting question and I doubt most people are going to like the answers, but here we go:

So, first and foremost, you need to be realistic about why you're creating in the first place. If you're doing work in a fandom that is older, where content has stopped coming out, or that is simply smaller, you're not going to get much engagement, period. There will, of course, be activity in these fandoms, but it will be far less and the people involved—while they may view your work—will be less likely to comment/spread it around simply because there's not much going on. So if you're creating in that sort of environment (which can be a really good environment if you're looking for something chill with no pressure), then you have to be prepared for low engagement, even if the people you do meet and who are willing to talk about your work are more regularly in your sphere. You can probably make better/closer friends in these sorts of fandoms, if you're willing to try.

But, on the other end of this, if you're coming into a huge fandom late, it's also going to be harder to wade through the massive following to get your stuff out there. For example, in both the Miraculous and Sk8 fandom, I started work pretty early on, when the shows were still gaining traction, and so my "name" as a creator gained traction parallel to that growth, as opposed to when I started writing in the Voltron fandom. With Voltron, I came in super late and so what few fics I had that did gain traction took a lot longer to get there because people already had their fav content creators in the fandom, etc. It's not impossible to get popular in this situation—far from it—but it does take longer.

You'll also benefit from having finished works early on in a fandom's lifespan, at least with writing. This is because there's less competition for views and so more people will be filtered to your work, initially. This means that you have a better chance of getting those comments and kudos. Having a finished work increases this engagement because people look for finished works before works in progress. Generally, the length of a fic doesn't matter much for popularity, so long as it's DONE. When I was writing in the ML fandom, quite a few of my earlier fics were shorter, and they compete in popularity with my longer fics, because people care more about having a finished story, not a long story. That's why when it came to Only Practice Makes Perfect in the Sk8 fandom, I worked hard to get that shit done, because it was the most popular story I had in the fandom and I decided—like an idiot—to make it a long fic. Which, yeah, means people probably love it/remember it more in the long run, but if I hadn't finished it in 2 to 3 months, I'd have lost considerable traction as far as making a name within the fandom.

This leads into one of the most important points, if not THE MOST IMPORTANT point in gaining an audience—consistency. If you do want to be a successful creator, you Have To Be Consistent. This is the most difficult hurdle for all creators, and it is oftentimes impossible to make happen. If you want to aim for professionalism, which a lot of fandom creators don't care about (which is fine), then consistency is how you get there. Nobody wants to read a fic or follow an artist who doesn't stick to creating what they start (RIP all my unfinished works and the people who left me as a result, LOL). Using my most recent works as an example, I very, very, very consistently updated Only Practice Makes Perfect multiple times a week. To the point where people got comfortable expecting it, which is the key variable here. When people become comfortable that you will regularly create content, they not only stick around, but will be more interactive with you and your work. Nobody likes the disappointment of getting involved with a work only for that work to rarely get updates. Most people don't have the attention span to care. I'll admit, if I read a fic that's not finished and the writer takes one week to update, then one week, then THREE weeks, I probably will, like, forget about it. That's just life.

The best thing you can do is schedule. And again, this is the HARDEST thing to do, because it holds the creator to a deadline. Most people who create in fandoms don't want that kind of pressure—and that's fine. I go back and forth on when I have scheduled releases and when I don't, depending on what I'm aiming to do. But if you to retain your audience, telling them that you will update a work regularly on such and such a day and such and such a time, it creates something for them to remember. If they're invested in your work, they will think, "oh, it's Friday, that means such and such is coming out with something new." But, with that in mind, you also have to commit to a schedule that people will remain invested in. Which basically means you can't put things out more than a week away from each other, unless you're really, really famous, lol. If I told people I was going to go on a two week update schedule, I would lose most of my audience. But a week is long enough for people to both still remember and anticipate. That's just how the scheduling of the world works. And if you're an artist that's working on a big project, then you have to share progress, or pieces of what you're doing on a regular basis. That's what generates "buzz" and keeps you relevant. And, yeah, that's a really hard schedule to commit to, because it's a lot of work. BUT this consistency is where you see people being successful. Popular youtubers may not have gained their popularity by being consistent, but most sure do retain it that way. And again, there are outlying exceptions, but they generally ARE exceptions.

Speaking of hard work, here's probably the second hardest thing to accomplish—you have to be prolific. Especially as a writer. You have to write A LOT if you want to gain an audience. And yeah, that means you have to work, a lot. I love my work, so I enjoy that "grind," and I also have developed a lot of strategies to work around writer's block and every other obstacle that tends to catch people up. I work in a very professional manner—I do outlines, and drafts, and plan. I do a lot of stuff that people who do this kind of thing for fun can't be bothered with (and that's fine), but that's because I find it to be what works best in creating an efficient environment. I'm also very, very NOT lazy, lol. I was raised in an environment where you have to work for everything that you want. My parents didn't buy me my first computer, or snowboard, or what have you. We were tight on money and if I wanted something, they couldn't help me—I had to get that shit on my own. And I also grew up on a farm, where hard work was a staple of how you did things. You did things the right way, even if it was the hard way. You can't cut corners and it's the same with this. If you want it, you have to actually do the work, that's it. Some people get lucky with popularity, most don't. Most famous actors didn't become well-known off their first efforts, they had to keep trying and keep working and then they have to continue to do that to stay relevant. So if that doesn't sound great to you, then you might want to not focus on your audience and just create because you enjoy it, lol. Sometimes that's what I do too, when I don't wanna deal with the pressure.

Moving on, here's another point that nobody is going to like. Simply put, you also have to be good at what you do. I think some people don't realize that I've been writing fic for over fifteen years. I currently have nearly 2 millions words worth of fics on AO3 and that doesn't include a majority of the stuff I've ever written. I practice A LOT. I write every day. And I'll tell ya, when I started out in middle school, my stuff was not good. But I worked hard, I ignored the hate, and I kept going. That is the only way you will ever get better at anything. There's no quick way to become a better writer, or artist. And a vast majority of people are only going to pay attention to your stuff if it's quality work. Getting to that point is a process, on top of then creating stuff that fits into popular molds. Not only am I good at what I do (and I don't care how arrogant that sounds—I've worked my ass off), but when it comes to fandoms, I rarely write "rare pairs" and "crack ships." Generally, if it's popular, that's where I am. That makes a big difference and I honestly don't have sympathy for people who write rare pairs and such and then complain about lack of engagement. You knew what you were getting into (it's mostly the Miraculous fandom that gave me this bitterness). If you're not writing what people WANT to read, then your audience is simply going to be smaller. And that audience doesn't owe you their attention, no matter how frustrating it is or how good your work is. I could be the best writer in the world, but if I'm writing RekixCherry fic, I have nobody to blame but myself when nobody reads it. BUT if that's your passion, and writing a certain unpopular thing makes you happy, then, again, you need to not be concerned with traction and your audience.

The last point I'll make is that it matters HOW you present yourself online. A good chunk of the well-known creators in any fandom are, simply put, older people. And those that aren't, and are able to connect with those older creators, have generally created a bubble around themselves of maturity and, like, of being nice, lol. A lot of creators are skittish these days, and if you're an asshole (anti) or fight a lot over stupid shit, you may get a bigger audience, but you will isolate yourself from other creators. And this is important because oftentimes it is your exposure to other creators that will get your work circulating. The reason I got popular in the ML fandom? I wrote a short angst fic and a really popular artist shared it/talked about it and the rest was history. But if I'd had a habit of being an asshole, probably wouldn't have happened. And, granted, I'm not saying don't voice your opinions, but if you're loud all the time, it does turn people off. Especially creators because they are oftentimes the ones being attacked. They don't want to pull more of that negative bullshit into their lives. I'll admit, when I was in the ML fandom, I was down for a fight, but then that's what people came to expect, and it probably did turn others off, and then when I didn't fight, or didn't think the way my audience thought I should, it, again, turned people off. It's really not worth it unless being that type of person IS your platform.

So, that's all the advice I can give, I suppose. And even if you do all this stuff, that still doesn't mean you're going to be popular. At the end of the day, the thing that I stick to is this—I do what I want, I love what I do, and I work hard. If I'm in a position to worry about all that other stuff, then sure, I do, but otherwise… There's no easy way to become popular and, quite frankly, it's better to just "live" working hard and being a decent person than it is to focus on all this bullshit. I've created a working environment where I function within these "points" quite naturally, so it's not something I think about (except for schedules, lol). Sometimes I get popular in fandoms, sometimes I don't. At the end of the day, it comes down to how much work you're willing to do, because you will always be giving more than you are getting back, so you have to at least enjoy what you're doing.

Seriously, just do it because you love it. And if the pressure of everything above is something you don't love (I like a good, high pressure situation, lol), then don't do it that way—it's not worth the grief.

#skaylanphear replies #anonymous

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silkling · 3 years

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Could you please write another “Sierra joins Team Prime” fic? I loved the first one, I’d really like to sea Sierra meet the rest of Team Prime and talk with Jack, Mimi, and Raf.

YES!!!! I would be very happy to! I have ideas for Smokescreen and Sierra shenanigans! Smokescreen is basically a giant puppy because he tries very hard and only wants to make people happy and he doesn’t have the necessary life experience to understand why the things he’s doing may not be the best. But he tries!!! And I love him. :D

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There was a white, blue, and red sports car parked outside the school when Sierra stepped out from the doors. She stopped for a second when she saw it, before she managed to get over her shock and walked over to it. She supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised, she mused. Jack, Esquivel, and Nakadai did get picked up by their guardians everyday. It made sense too, if she thought about it further.

She came up to Smokescreen, running the tips of her fingers along his hood. She was about to call a greeting when she heard someone behind her.

“Smoke- I mean, Sierra, hi!” It was Jack.

She turned to face him, smiling. “Hi Jack.” she greeted. “Is there something you want?”

Jack was shifting. “Uh, no? I mean, yes. I think that car is here for me?”

“So you own a motorcycle and a sports car now, do you? I didn’t know working at KO burger paid enough to earn that much extra cash.” she said dryly. She could see both Esquivel and Nakadai hovering nearby, obviously listening in. They were probably worried she was close to learning their secret.

“No, I mean, it’s not? Not mine, I mean.” Jack fumbled as he spoke.

Oh, poor boy. She could see his brain working in overtime trying to produce a good excuse. She supposed it didn’t help that he still had that crush on her. She’d noticed. Of course she had. She wasn’t blind, thank you very much.

Sierra decided to be merciful. “Actually, Jack, this is my ride. I’m sure your motorcycle will be here soon, though.” she said cheerfully. Then she turned, smoothing a hand over her partner’s hood. “Hey, Smokescreen. Thanks for coming to get me. Do you mind if I get in?” She knew she had to anyway, but it always paid to ask first. Besides, it was only polite to make sure the giant robot you were about to hitch a ride with was okay with you climbing inside them.

“Sure!” The young bot answered. His voice was quiet, but still cheery.

His driver’s door popped open partway, and she pulled it open enough to climb inside. It closed after her, and once she buckled herself in she looked up to see Jack and his two friends gaping at her. She smiled at them, lifting her hand in a wave, and then Smokescreen was backing out of the parking space and driving off. They got further away from the school, and then both of them broke into laughter.

“Oh, the looks on their faces!” Smokescreen gasped, delighted. “Sierra, Sierra that was amazing. Oh Primus Sierra you should have seen how they reacted when you called my name. I’m never going to forget it.” he sounded so giddy. It was adorable.

Sierra giggled, a hand curled over her mouth. “I wish I did, but their faces as you drove off will have to do. God, Smokescreen. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a teenage boy look that confused by something that wasn’t the opposite sex.” she said, very delighted. Just because she had manners didn’t mean she didn’t like having fun, after all.

Smokescreen made a sound that couldn’t be described as anything other than a giggle. “I really don’t know what that means. But I think I get the idea. Did you see Miko? I don’t think I’ve ever seen her speechless before.”

She smiled, patting his wheel. “I did. I don’t know her as well as you but from what I’ve seen of her I’d have to agree with your sentiment.” she said lightly.

She glanced up to see they were coming up to the base. Mentally, she planned what she’d need to do this evening. She had homework to complete, and she needed to do it because she refused to fall behind in any of her classes. She didn’t care that she was now privy to America’s greatest secret, she had a GPA to maintain and no giant alien robot war was going to stop her. But, after she did her homework, she fully intended to relax and have fun. She was, after all, partnered to a giant alien robot. She had to take advantage of that.

When Smokescreen pulled up into base and popped open his door, she grabbed her back and slid out. “Thanks for the ride, big guy!” She said brightly.

Smokescreen transformed, rising to his full height. “It was my pleasure!” he chirped, his winglets–or doorwings, as he’d told her they were called–wriggling at his back.

Sierra smiled, and was about to say something else when she heard engines, and then Jack came in on his motorcycle, shortly followed by a green SUV and a yellow sports car. The other humans disembarked, and the three other bots transformed. Sierra smiled, waving. She’d met them the night she’d been introduced to all of this, after Agent Fowler had gotten her up to speed on everything. She liked Bumblebee. He was sweet. It made her determined to at least try and learn to understand him.

“So what’s the deal, huh?” Miko demanded, looking irritated and ready to storm over. “This was supposed to be just our thing! How’d you find out about it?”

Sierra snorted, and turned to Smokescreen to find he was already crouching and offering her his palm. She smiled, stepping up and gratefully letting him transfer her to his shoulder. It seemed he liked having her close just as much as she liked being up here. It was cute. He was a sweet bot.

“Calm now, Nakadai.” she said dryly.

“It’s Miko!”

“Fine. Miko.” Sierra rolled her eyes. “I found out because Starscream decided to try and abduct me. Apparently, the Decepticons have been watching you three and have learned that I mean something to Jack. They thought they could use me against you.” She said, directing the last part towards the boy in question.

Jack looked stricken, his face paling and his eyesight blowing wide. “Oh hell, Sierra, I’m so-“

“Save it.” she cut him off. “I’m not mad. It would be wrong to say you’re not allowed to have friends beyond Miko and Esquivel just because you know a secret like this.” he said, making a vague gesture around her.

“Um, you can just call me Raf. Or Raphael. Whatever you prefer.” Esquivel said, sounding a little awkward.

Sierra shot him a warm smile, then turned her attention back to the still irritated Miko. “Anyway, Starscream was about to grab me when Smokescreen stopped him.” she said. “He got me out of there, brought me back here, and now I guess I’m part of this, too.” he shrugged.

Miko huffed, obviously still annoyed that the secret was even a little less exclusive now. Still, she made no more arguments, instead walking to the small deck Smokescreen had described as the “human entertainment nook” and firing up the TV. Raphael stared, looking back and forth between the two girls before sighing and going up to join her. He sat on a separate seat, pulling out his computer and settling back. Jack stared at Sierra, then sagged and sighed.

“I am sorry.” he said after a moment. “But I am glad you’re alright too, and that you’re here. Welcome to the team, Sierra.” he said, then quickly went up to sit next to Miko.

Sierra snorted, arching a brow and glancing at Smokescreen. “I’d say that went quite well, wouldn’t you?”

Her partner snickered, his doorwings fluttering, and even Arcee chuckled as she went off to do…whatever she did in her spare time. Bulkhead looked incredibly awkward and sheepish, shooting Sierra an apologetic look as he moved further into the base. Bumblebee, for his part, just buzzed his amusement and went to sit on the ground by the entertainment hook.

Sierra hummed, then shared one last look with Smokescreen before she settled further on his shoulder and pulled her bag off her shoulder.

‘Well,’ she thought. ‘Time to get to work.’

——————————

Sierra had just finished her homework and was settling down on the couch to read her novel when Smokescreen returned. He’d gone out at some point in the past hour, leaving her in what she’d decided to simply call the Nook, and gone off to do…something. Currently, Raphael was up on a higher platform doing something with the computers, Miko was in another room playing her guitar with Bulkhead, and Jack was curled on the Nook’s armchair watching TV. As far as she could tell, Arcee was off doing…her things, Bumblebee had gone out for a patrol, and Optimus was with Fowler, trying to deal with something. Ratchet was working quietly with Raphael. It was peaceful.

And then Smokescreen came back, and it caught Sierra’s attention because he was walking. He held his hands cupped in a sphere in front of his chest, padding over to the Nook and beaming. Immediately, Sierra started getting a feeling in her gut that Something Was Up.

“Sierra!” her partner greeted cheerfully. His doorwings flapped. “I remember you were telling me about your research for school, about the local wild animals, and I thought I’d help!”

‘Oh no.’

“Help.” Sierra said carefully. “I see. Help how?”

Smokescreen looked like he was going to say something, but then-

“BLAAAAAAAAA!”

Sierra froze. Jack froze. Raphael froze. Ratchet froze and turned to face the scene very, very slowly. The look in his eyes promised doom and destruction. No one said anything.

“Smokescreen.” Sierra said slowly. “Please don’t tell me you caught a wild goat for me.”

The adorable, idiotic giant robot tilted his head. His right doorwing twitched once. “I didn’t? I caught that sheep thing you mentioned.”

“You caught a desert bighorn sheep.”

“Yeah, that’s the one!”

“BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

“Smokescreen, put it back.”

“What? Why?” And bless him, he looked so confused.

Sierra could see Ratchet losing his patience. She had to diffuse this, fast. “Because it’s very cruel to take a wild animal from its home. It’s terrified, Smokescreen. I can finish my research with stuff from the library. I don’t need an actual bighorn sheep. I wouldn’t know what to do with it. Please put it back.”

Smokescreen blinked. “Oh.” he paused. “I guess I shouldn’t bring you that owl you really like, in that case?”

And oh no, he sounded so sad. The poor bot just wanted to make her happy. Oh, oh no. She couldn’t be mad at this. He was trying so hard and she couldn’t fault him for genuinely not knowing any better. He hadn’t been here for years and years like the other bots had. God, he was just excited the have a friend, wasn’t he? It was almost like he didn’t have the type of social connections he so clearly craved with the rest of Team Prime.

‘I will find who hurt him and I will destroy them.’ she vowed to herself. ‘It is going to be slow and painful, and I will make the devil himself fear my fury.’

“Probably not.” she agreed, her expression and tone gentle and kind, showing nothing of how she actually felt. “But how about you can come and get me and bring me to it if you ever see an animal you think I’ll like?” she offered. “And if you know I’m busy, I’ll never say no to a picture.” she gave him a warm grin. “Now, how about you and I both go put that back, and I’ll even tell you more about that species on the way?”

“BLAAAAAA!”

It seemed the sheep agreed.

“Alright.” Smokescreen said, sounding faintly embarrassed.

Sierra put her book down, then took the Nook’s stairs to the floor and looked up at her partner. He set the sheep down and transformed, then popped open his backseat door. Before she sheep could bolt, Sierra scared it back towards her partner and herded it to jump into his backseat. The door slammed shut, and Sierra hopped in to the open driver’s seat. Then, they were driving out of the base.

In the rear view mirror, Sierra could see the shock on Ratchet’s face. Almost like he hadn’t expected her to fix the situation the way she had. It made something angry curl in her gut, as she remembered how tired and resigned her partner had sounded that first day when Ratchet had been scolding him over the comm. line. It made her wonder how the bots usually dealt with Smokescreen making mistakes. She hoped it wasn’t just yelling and berating him.

Sierra sighed, forcing those thoughts to the back of her mind, and refocusing on her partner. “So.” she said. “How’d you even catch it, anyway?”

“Oh that? It was pretty easy, actually. I accidentally scared it off a cliff and I caught it before it could fall.” he said cheerfully.

‘Huh. That’d work.’

“Well, thank you very much for bringing it to show me, Smokescreen. I appreciate the thought and the gesture.” she said.

“You do?”

“Of course! You saw something you thought I’d like and you brought it back for me. That makes me happy. Just, please. No more animals, okay? I won’t say no to plants and flowers, if you really want to bring me something. No cacti, though.” she told him.

She could practically feel him brightening now that he knew what he could bring her instead. “Alright!”

“Now, let’s get this guy home. I’m sure it’ll be very happy to be back where it belongs.” she looked back at the terrified sheep huddled on the backseat. “Right, fella?”

“BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

‘I’ll take that as a yes.’

———————————————————————————————————

And there it is! I know it’s not exactly what you asked for, but there was some of Sierra talking with the others! The idea with the sheep just wouldn’t leave my head though so I had to. I just did. I hope you liked it!

This ‘verse is fun. I like it. But for now, back to my other work!

Until next time, friends!

#silkling request fics #request fic #tfp #transformers prime #tfp sierra #tfp smokescreen #Sierra joins Team Prime #smokescreen is her partner #she loves him #he means well but hes very inexperienced #he’s a puppy #I love him #smokescreen #maccadam

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anonymousdandelion · 3 years

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I wrote this ficlet nearly half a year ago for the Ace Omens 20 Days of Hugs informal writing event, but I finally got around to posting it today!

For the prompt “a hug to hide in,” 600 words of G-rated Crowley and Aziraphale, sensory overwhelm, and hug-centric comfort.

When the World is Too Much

The world is… a lot.

Most of the time, Crowley loves it. Loves the world, loves the planet, loves the Earth… has loved it, ever since the first day he set scale in Eden. The planet is vibrant, interesting, all but overflowing with color and nuance and life in a way that neither Heaven nor Hell has ever even begun to approach in their own spheres.

On Earth, there is always something more to see, to do, to discover. Always something new, something changing, something happening.

And it’s terrific, it really is. It’s half the reason he’s come to be so fond of the whole bloody planet, complete with its thick tangle of layered dark and light and detail. It’s a lot, yes, but that’s not a problem. Crowley likes a lot.

Most of the time.

Some days, though, it all gets a bit much.

On those days, the same aspects of Earth that Crowley usually finds fun and invigorating become nothing but overwhelming. The world is vast, crowded, bright, loud, dizzying, oversaturated, simultaneously cavernous and congested, everything simply too much to process and take in at the same time.

Those days, Crowley wants nothing more than to curl up on a sofa with his hands over his face, halt the passage of time, and just make it all go away for a while. Sometimes, he does this, though the miracle isn’t always worth the effort. More often, he takes refuge in sleep for an hour, a day, a decade, a century; sheets pulled up over his head, body and mind cocooned in blankets and blissful, if inevitably temporary, unconsciousness.

Most often, since simply hiding from everything is not always a very practical option, he just thickens the lenses of his sunglasses — making the world at least marginally more manageable by lessening the influx of light, if nothing more — clenches his fists, glowers at his plants, and endures until the world subsides into some semblance of manageability again.

That’s what he does when he is alone, anyway.

But sometimes, when Crowley is lucky, the waves of overwhelm strike when his adversary is in the vicinity.

Finish reading on AO3

(See more of my Ineffable Hugfest fics here!)

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #fanfiction #dandelion fics #ineffable husbands #aziraphale and crowley #hugs #ace omens #ineffable hugfest #soft

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writingwithcolor · 4 years

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B’nei mitzvah in spaceship without Jewish community | Jewish character celebrating Christmas

Hi! Thank you so much for running this blog. I appreciate how much time and effort all the mods have put into it. I finished reading through the whole Jewish tag a few days ago, and I’ve learned so much! I’m writing a Voltron fic (I *know* lol) and decided to make one of the protagonists a white nonbinary Ashkenazi Reform Jewish girl. Her astronaut brother mysteriously disappears in space and is presumed dead, so she runs away from home a couple of months before her b'nei mitzvah to find him. Now, she’s in a group of rebels in space fighting against an Empire. I have two concerns:

1. Everyone on the ship misses home, so part of the way they cope is through getting in touch with their cultures. They’re gonna celebrate (a mostly non-Americanized) Christmas because it matters a lot to some of the characters for non-religious reasons. To what extent can my Jewish character participate in the celebration without it being weird? I want her to enjoy herself more because she’s with her friends than because Jesus etc. They’ll also celebrate Chanukah, if that helps. I know Chanukah isn’t a major holiday, so I also want to have her celebrate a more significant one like Rosh Hashanah and/or Purim with them. Is it okay for gentiles to participate in those holiday celebrations, or should she do that alone?

2. Throughout most of the story, she’ll struggle with choosing whether to prioritize fighting the Empire or finding her brother and bringing him home. When she eventually does find her brother (who also turns out to be a rebel), he lets her decide whether they stay or go home. I thought it would be nice if she decided to stay and keep fighting for the greater good after she finally has her b'nei mitzvah. Her friends and other experiences are also a big part of why she decides to stay, but the b'nei mitzvah would be what gives her the final push she needs to decide. I don’t know if it would be okay for me to write the ceremony itself or if she can even have one if only two of the eight people on the ship are Jewish. I read that not everyone has a b'nei mitzvah and that it’s not required, but I feel like it’d be a big deal to her character. Should I keep the b'nei mitzvah idea, or am I heading towards appropriative territory here?

I want to make her Jewishness a big part of her character’s growth, and I really want to make sure I do it respectfully and accurately. I plan on finding a sensitivity reader when I’ve made more progress with actually writing everything out. Thank you for any insight you might offer!

It feels off to me to join a community symbolically when you’re far away FROM the community. Why not just have had her already have done the ceremony before she has all these adventures? That way it could just be a straightforward story about a Jewish teen having exciting heroic adventures in space, rather than a story about what happens when you have to miss aspects of Jewish life because you’re in space. It would also make the “….well, I guess I’m around for Christmas” bit less weighted because then that would be the only one of those instead of having two of those.

–Shira

I’ll cover some other territory here. For those who don’t know, b'nei mitzvah is something you just automatically become at the correct age, the ceremony is simply to celebrate that with the community. Not all people have the ceremony, but if you are Jewish, and of age (for religious purposes), your status changes with or without it. Personally, I’m comfortable with showing a Jewish character finding a way to have a Jewish celebration when the circumstances are less than ideal, for me the other aspects of the story are more troubling.

On the subject of having a Jewish character celebrate Christmas with their friends… look I don’t like this trope. There are many Jewish people, who are completely secular, who don’t celebrate Christmas, because it is explicitly a Christian holiday, and secular Jewish people are still Jewish. Some Jewish people (secular or otherwise) do choose to celebrate other holidays, and I am very comfortable with those folks telling their own stories. What I’m not happy with is the push from outside of the community for every Jewish character to slide into assimilation.

Some Jewish people will go to Christmas parties and not eat the food, because they keep kosher, or won’t stay for a tree-lighting, because that feels like it goes too far, or will give presents but not receive them. There are a huge number of ways we might handle Christmas, and I appreciate that you plan to show holidays other than just Chanukah (and yes, it’s fine for non-Jewish characters to join her in her holidays, if she invites them), but I always question why a non-Jewish writer is so keen to show Jewish characters celebrating Christmas. The most generous version of me wants to assume that you get so much out of Christmas that you want to share it, but the part of me that knows about the pressures to assimilate, and the history of increased antisemitic violence around Christmas thinks… just leave this kid alone. She missed her celebration, she’s far from her community, and now she has to go put on a Happy Assimilated Smile for the culturally Christian folks around her. From a nonbinary Jewish perspective, it’s a little unusual for your nonbinary character to use she/her pronouns, and use b'nei mitzvah as a gender neutral alternative to the gendered bat mitzvah. In secular life, at least in the US, it’s not uncommon for people to use multiple pronouns, but I haven’t met, or even heard of, a single person using gendered pronouns secularly, and using new neutral alternatives religiously. It absolutely could happen but, because it is so unusual, to me it reads as either invalidating the character’s gender, or tokenizing her in the religious sphere.

–Dierdra

Shira, I think that’s a really good idea to make the character post-b'nei mitzvah. That way you just have a Jewish character having adventures rather than her culture being The Conflict. (And also, a pre-b'nei mitzvah seems a bit young for this storyline? Can she really consent to fighting alongside the rebels? Do they habitually take unaccompanied children on their ship? To me a teenager would make more sense, but hey it’s not my story!)

Dierdra, your answer regarding the Christmas aspect was awesome and really thorough. Thanks for your thoughts on the pronouns as well, it also jarred with me but I was waiting to hear your opinion as you have lived experience. My worry is if you use gender neutral terms for one but not the other, you risk falling into to the stereotype that only marginalised religious folks have to change our language etc to be inclusive to LGBTQ+ people, but everyone else is fine.

I wanted to come back to the point about Rosh Hashana. First of all, thank you for acknowledging that we have holidays that are more important than Chanukah! Sooo many OP’s don’t know that. In terms of how she would celebrate it, I agree it’s fine to invite non-Jewish people along. However, given how community-based Jewish life is, making her keep Yom Tov on her own feels a bit like a torture story, especially when others have people to celebrate Christmas with. I wonder if you’ve thought about giving her a Jewish friend on the ship? Especially if you want her Jewishness to be part of her growth as you mentioned, an older Jewish friend and mentor could be a huge help :)

–Shoshi

As you can see, we have a wide range of possibilities for “what happens when you ask a Jewish person about celebrating Christmas.” I didn’t mind hanging around it as an outsider myself until a certain subset of Christians started being mean-spirited about it in the news plus some personal trauma that time of year, as long as everyone involved was clear that I was just participating from the outside and this didn’t somehow change me. (If I may make an analogy: compare it to going to a baby shower when you want to support your friend or family member but also really don’t want kids of your own. You’re going to have a whole different experience if your decision is respected vs. if all the other guests treat you like you being there means you’ll change your mind about not wanting kids.)

That being said, it’s still all over the map. Some people IRL are okay even going to mass with their partner’s Catholic family (without participating in communion obvs.) Some would never, ever do that and are sitting here with shocked faces that I even typed that. But what becomes important is the way it’s written. Sitting around listening to the Christmas story is probably a bad fit for your fanfic, but helping other people bake Christmas cookies or put ornaments on a tree could work. The ornament thing could remind her of decorating a sukkah, and she could point that out to the others.

I guess I’m saying is

keep her participation secular, and

keep her participation from leaning into the idea that we’re unhappy with our customs and would prefer to do it their way.

I have literally never in my life felt jealous of the kids who “got to do Santa” (for example) and while I’m sure some kids were and they’re valid too, I think it’s important to show that it’s not a universal phenomenon.

–Shira

#jewish #non binary #B’nei mitzvah #holidays #Christmas #Jewish Holidays #submission

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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Alright a noob's question to a veteran fan, when do you think the blatant hatred for Dick started? I've heard from old, 50+ years old fans that he was the best, he was badass, better than Batman A lister. What changed? I know DC can't stand their legacy characters and they've always put abuse in their books, but I want to know about the fandom. When I joined I fell for the Tim Drake Best but Underrated Robin thing until I realized that was polar opposite of the truth. When did That start?

Okay, well it took me forever to get back to this ask and finish like I promised, but I kept my promise, huzzah! Long as fuck theorizing on this topic below:

So here’s the thing. I’ve been fucking around fandoms since the 90s, and I can 100% confirm that Everyone Hates Dick Grayson absolutely was not always a thing. Its a large part of WHY I’m so convinced that modern fandom is just fucking WEIRD about him, because like....I actively have something else to compare it to. I can absolutely remember what Bat fandom was like in regards to him back in the days of the Bludhaven yahoo group and squidge.org and other random URLs that mean absolutely nothing to 99% of you, lolol.

Like, there is very much, distinctly, DEFINITIVELY, a difference in how the majority of fandom views him and interacts with his character now, as opposed to like.....the first decade or so I was in fandoms.

And if I had to trace it back to a specific time period where there was like...an actual, visible sea change....the only thing I can come up with is around the Battle for the Cowl era, the start of the Morrison/Dickbats run. Not so coincidentally, this was the precise time I moved away from Batfam fandom after having pretty consistently being in it for a good ten years by then, BECAUSE there very clearly IMO was this change in how people were writing about Dick all of a sudden.

Like, there had been tensions building towards Dick’s character for awhile, probably ever since Jason’s return because like....in a sense, Dick’s too far removed from say, Tim, to be directly in competition with his character. What I mean is, there’s too little overlap in what people like about Tim and what people like about Dick for them to ever be like...a threat to each other’s fanbases in that respect, and push people to make a choice there. But with Dick and Jason, there’s enough overlap in them and what draws people to them - even just purely in terms of positioning within the Bat franchise, as an older Bat-sibling and former Robin that nevertheless is no longer Robin himself - that like....ever since Jason came back, you could start to see ‘fractures’ in how people viewed Dick. Because now there was another alternative to his character who occupied a similar......not sphere, but perhaps ‘level’ of the Batfamily franchise, and so people kinda started....picking sides, even though no actual sides had to be picked in the first place because its not actually a fucking competition.

And this isn’t to say the view of Dick in fandom and how he’s interacted with is the ‘fault’ of Jason’s return, not at all, just.....this is just me talking analytically, in terms of patterns and causality. Not trying to assign blame here, more just kinda explain the way it appeared to me anyway.

But then things all came to a head in the Battle for the Cowl era, and ignited stuff that had been lurking under the surface in SEVERAL different areas of fandom, and brought into direct conflict long-held assumptions and views and biases that had only never been in conflict before because they didn’t NEED to be in conflict before.

Basically, my Big Thesis about why fandom is the way it is about Dick, is that I feel its not so much that fans of other characters hate him, its that I think many of them RESENT him for very specific things and how those things like....make him a narrative obstacle to the kinds of stories they want to read and write about the Batfam specifically.

With the biggest examples here being Bruce fans, Jason fans and Tim fans.

See, my take is this:

1) I think a lot of Bruce fans resent Dick on some level because he’s actually the biggest obstacle standing in the way of the Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent view of things. As much as people have always liked to claim and take for granted that Dick is Bruce’s favorite or whatever, the truth is there is a far longer and far more VARIED history of Bruce and Dick being at odds than there is between Bruce and any other of his kids.

Essentially, in order to really sell Bruce as CONSISTENTLY being a good parent, regardless of what canon says or does at times.....DICK is the character you MOST have to rewrite or write around, change or ignore his stories, reframe his past interactions with Bruce in order to make this stick.

I know people are probably going “Umm what about Bruce and Jason though?” But the difference is, Bruce and Dick’s conflicts cover a lot more ground than Bruce and Jason’s. Its not that Bruce and Jason’s clashes aren’t epic and that Bruce’s behavior with Jason in stories like UTRH hasn’t been massively shitty....its that in terms of Bruce and Jason, these things are a lot more....confined, than they are with Bruce and Dick.

Basically, most of the major conflict between Bruce and Jason CAN be rewritten or avoided by simply addressing three or four definitive things: the Garzonas case and aftermath, Bruce’s actions/response in regards to the Joker killing Jason, Jason’s return and his wants and needs in regard to Bruce in UTRH, and Bruce’s view of Jason’s actions and ideology post his return.

None of these are small things by any means. But they are FINITE things. They’re concentrated into specific stories, specific areas of canon....and thus, more easily navigated around by anyone who wants to avoid engaging with these things in the form of Bruce being a shitty parent, and rewrite and reframe Bruce and Jason’s dynamic in the vein of Bruce is a Good Parent.

In contrast, with Dick and Bruce, to rewrite and reframe Bruce and Dick’s OVERALL dynamic in the vein of Bruce is a Good Parent......you’ve got a LOT more ground to cover.

There’s Bruce firing Dick as Robin, there’s Bruce not reaching out to Dick and being content to stay estranged from Dick for all the years they barely interacted, there’s the effect Bruce’s adopting Jason and making him Robin without a word to Dick in advance had on Dick, there’s Bruce still not using the conflict between them over that to make changes in how he interacted with Dick like say adopting him now, there’s Bruce’s actions and behavior towards Dick in the aftermath of Jason’s death, there’s Bruce’s inconsistent appearances in Dick’s stories in all the many times Dick very much needs help or comfort juxtaposed with Dick’s consistent appearances in Bruce’s stories any time he so much as calls him and asks him to show up due to the fact that canon writers can consistently be counted on to prioritize Bruce’s needs as more pressing than Dick’s needs, narratively speaking. There’s Bruce’s clear judgment of Dick in Last Laugh and failure to reach out and help Dick through its aftermath. There’s Bruce’s non-involvement in the extended greatest hits album that is one of the lowest periods of Dick’s life, encompassing Blockbuster, Tarantula and the destruction of Bludhaven, and Bruce’s non-helpful ‘fix’ in the wake of all that, which can be summed up as him yelling “suck it up, buddy.” And in the New 52 you’ve got Bruce’s shitty handling of the Court of Owls revelations and his treating the effect of these revelations on Dick as a total non-issue, there’s the aftermath of Forever Evil, there’s Bruce’s failure to say anything about why Dick went to Spyral even after seeing the effect it had on Dick’s relationships with the rest of his family, there’s the absolute disaster that was his handling of the Ric Grayson situation.....

See what I’m saying? Its not that Bruce doesn’t have plenty of fodder for being a shitty parent in stories with Jason, its just that the times and the ways he is are more isolated and contained, relatively speaking....thus more easily ‘treated’ by anyone who wants to FIX those parts of canon in order to realign it all in the framework of Bruce Wayne Is A Good Parent.

Its nowhere NEAR as easy to do that with Dick when you ACTUALLY engage with the full extent of how shittily Bruce has been written interacting with his eldest over the course of decades....

And so for fans of Bruce who very much WANT Bruce to be a good parent, that’s what they want to read, that’s what they want to write, that’s what they’re HERE for and stuff OUTSIDE that is stuff they (understandably) do not want to engage with....

This makes Dick actively an OBSTACLE to all of that. It makes him a Problem. Dick and his stories and his dynamics with Bruce, in order to truly align with Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, have to EXTENSIVELY be tackled and rewritten and reframed, and this is no easy feat or no small process.

And for fans of Bruce who are here for BRUCE first and foremost, not Dick, and who thus don’t want to and aren’t thrilled to be confronted with a need to PRIORITIZE him and his stories to such a large degree in order to ACTUALLY ‘fix’ canon - which for the record has nothing to do with Dick being more important of a character or anything to do with character preferences whatsoever, but rather is simply symptomatic of the ROLE Dick occupies in Bruce’s life, and is an extension of the fact that in any scenario in which Bruce Wayne Is A Good Parent, Dick, as his son, logically MUST be as much a priority at least some of the time as any other of his kids because THAT’S WHAT A GOOD PARENT DOES, HE MAKES HIS KIDS A PRIORITY.....

Like, its honestly understandable (even if thanks, I hate it) that people who really just WANT to focus on Bruce and his Good Parent-ness and don’t want to be forced into HAVING to make Dick and fixing or rewriting how Bruce has screwed up with him into a priority when writing fic that ultimately, for these fans, is still supposed to be ABOUT Bruce.....like, its not exactly rocket science, grasping how this could easily lead to people being even less keen on the guy, because he complicates so many stories they want to write without remotely being one of the characters they’re inspired to write in the first place.

So I mean, yeah. Dick very much became an object of resentment for a lot of Bruce fans, I think, for that reason specifically, and for the narrative obstacle he innately presents to anyone who just wants to write Good Parent Bruce and doesn’t want to have to write Bruce Actively Fixing His Mistakes With Dick in order to do so.

And again, this is pretty much JUST Dick in this particular role (especially as of the time I’m talking about) because much like how even though Bruce has his fuck-ups with Jason, they’re more finitely contained to specific narratives and TYPES of narratives....the same is true of Bruce’s interactions with his other kids. Yeah, he has his fuck-ups with them too, but again, they’re more isolated, more traceable back to singular sources and stories that are a lot more easily sidestepped and navigated around by anyone who just does not want to engage with Bruce Being a Bad Parent and the EFFECTS this has had on various of his kids throughout their stories as a result.

So you have this thing, about Dick, narratively speaking, not even a matter of character like or dislike. And its been there all along, slowly building story by story....

With it all coming to a head, I feel, in the Battle for the Cowl era, where Bruce is shuffled off-stage for a time, and REPLACED by Dick as Batman.....while at the same time Dick is cast in the same role of surrogate father figure to newcomer Damian, that Bruce was cast in with Dick when he and Dick were of similar ages to Dick and Damian now.

And Bruce was absolutely celebrated for how good he was with Dick back then - and with reason - BUT, I think this period with Dick and Damian, and the stories it told, brought front and center the fact and the awareness that it’d been a LONG TIME since Bruce was so uncritically celebrated for being a Good Parent, and with Dick specifically. And then additionally it made and kept front and center at this exact same time....people celebrating Dick for being a Good Parent (in essence) in much the way that they HADN’T celebrated Bruce for quite some time. And add to that the fact that Dick was doing this WHILE in the role of Batman himself, the same role Bruce had occupied in the parallel situation....so it made all this into a parallel that couldn’t easily be dismissed or discounted by saying things like “well Dick didn’t have the pressures of being Batman to deal with, being a good parent throughout all of this and STAYING that way would have been innately easier because of that.”

And thus....long-simmering resentment of the obstacle alleged favorite son Dick poses to actually writing Bruce Is A Good Parent content without significant revision or ommissions....ignited. With kinda the insult added to injury that now Dick was getting the same kind of praise and attention that these particular fans came to the franchise to see BRUCE be the focus and recipient of, not Dick.

2) At the same time, you have another large segment of fandom by this point, Jason’s fans. Or to be more accurate, you have a select but EXTREMELY vocal subset of Jason’s fans.....

Who come to Jason’s fandom with a very specific angle: they LIKE Jason as the misunderstood outcast of the Batfam, the black sheep alone and apart from the rest of the family who Just Don’t Get Him And Never Will, thus making him eternally sympathetic in this specific regard. But with that specific regard, in order to STAY eternal…..requiring that….nobody in the family gets him or cares or ever has really.

Thus once again, Dick just by the existence of him and his actual past dynamics with Jason, is a narrative obstacle to writing THIS specific narrative.

And so of course it had to be reframed and EMPHASIZED that Dick had always been a jerk to Jason, barely a brother, heck they barely even knew each other apparently - even when Jason came back and one of his first interactions with Dick post-Return was to clearly express that he’d always seen Dick as family, which very much does not mesh the idea that Jason and Dick barely knew each other or barely ever interacted before Jason died.

It also, of course, does not mesh with the idea that there’s nobody in the Batfamily who understands Jason, or is capable of seeing things his way instead of Bruce’s, or who cares enough to avenge him……because Last Laugh very much DOES exist, and puts the lie to all of that. Dick’s not only killed at least once (actually more than just once) and still remained fundamentally the same Dick Grayson he’s always been, but on top of that, it was the very person Jason desperately wanted to see dead as some kind of evidence, some sign that he had MATTERED to his family, that him being taken away from them hurt them enough that they felt driven to DO something about it, beyond the usual toss ‘em and lock ‘em.

Dick actually did that, ‘gave’ Jason what he wanted, and for the very same reasons Jason wanted it, to know that it was because of him, because of the loss of him, because he MATTERED and his absence HURT….and while of course, Dick was never the person Jason most wanted to see do that deed, want to see that evidence from….nonetheless, it very much does remain as significant evidence towards the fact that Jason mattered a great deal to Dick, enough even that having differing beliefs about killing would still be unlikely to ever stand between Dick having some kind of relationship with his returned-from-the-dead brother - because not only was it because of Jason (and Tim as well, admittedly, I’m not trying to gloss over the fact that he was part of the story and part of Dick’s motivation, this is just a matter of topical focus at the moment) not only was it actually BECAUSE of Jason that Dick crossed the line that so often he otherwise rigidly adheres to…it was never that realistic that Dick would judge and condemn Jason for killing, at least not by any narrative that took Last Laugh into consideration.

Because not only has Dick done the same thing himself, and MORE than wanted to do it on many other occasions as well thus he very clearly understands both the temptation and the arguments made for it…..BUT just as significantly IMO, is the AFTERMATH of Last Laugh. Where Dick very clearly was shown wrestling with and being affected by Bruce’s implicit judgment for what he’d done. Meaning not only was Dick never actually likely to condemn or judge Jason….he also is one of a handful of people most able to empathize with being judged or condemned by BRUCE for crossing that line. It never made sense or was realistic that there’d be this great divide between Dick and Jason after his return, that Dick was unable let alone unwilling to try and bridge, even for the sake of spending time with the brother he thought he’d never have a chance to spend time with again.

(And yeah yeah, its not like he was embracing Jason with open arms in Brothers in Blood, but I maintain that had more to do with Jason’s approach than Dick innately being predisposed to being stand-offish with Jason. Like, when you announce yourself by impersonating your brother and getting him a rep as a manic killer being hunted by the police, instead of just like…ringing the doorbell, its kinda like, well, you may have to shoulder some of the blame here. Not to mention there still was the specter of what Jason had done to Dick’s other little brother Tim, with this still unaddressed between the two as of that time).

So yeah, for the above reasons and many more, Dick once again presents a narrative obstacle to a specific KIND of narrative that happens to be the one a lot of Jason’s fans most want to tell. The one where Jason sticks it to all his uptight family and rides off into the sunset with his NEW family, one that appreciates him and holds him in proper respect and positioning, the one where Jason will always be at least a somewhat tragic figure, forever apart from the family he does still very much love, because THEY can’t reconcile who and what HE is and believes.

Cuz once you take Last Laugh into consideration, AND add in Jason’s own words at the end of Brothers in Blood and the fact that they DIDN’T hate each other back when Jason was Robin, nor was it just one-sided on Dick’s end of things…..well, with all that taken into account, it becomes a lot trickier pulling off the above narrative, doesn’t it? When the in-character behavior of Dick according to THAT characterization of him would never accept any version of events where Jason was cast out for good (and yes, yes, RHATO and Bruce exiling Jason from the city, I know that in the New 52 that’s pretty much exactly what happened and Dick didn’t do anything about it, but he was kinda busy getting shot in the head right around that same time, so, y’know. That cuts into the ability to intervene on Jason’s behalf).

But basically, this is IMO why Last Laugh barely gets acknowledged by a lot of Jason’s fans, even though on the surface, you’d THINK its exactly the kind of story that would appeal to anyone who wanted, well, a story where someone in Jason’s family showed that they actually gave a damn the damn dumb clown still wasn’t dead. Its an in canon story that showcases and even highlights very clearly Jason’s place in that person’s family and memories, and the importance and weight with which he was regarded by that family member. Isn’t that exactly what Jason - and thus by extension his fans - have always wanted?

Well….yes, except it was the wrong family member. To have the weight, the significance that a lot of fans TRULY wanted from that story, from that outcome, it needed to be BRUCE that did it, not Dick. There’s no real place in that particular narrative or dynamic for an older brother who does actually give a damn. Like yeah, its great that Dick cared and all, but when its viewed as being more of an all or nothing situation, like, it has to play out with Bruce in that role and no one else, or it doesn’t count, doesn’t mean ENOUGH…..once again, this positions Dick to be more of a narrative obstacle to a certain (popular) kind of story than a benefit.

And so Dick has to be repositioned, reframed, rewritten…..to be something and someone writers can actually work with when writing the kind of story where Bruce’s acknowledgment is the only one that ultimately matters. Him being likely to WANT to help and support Jason from an in-character standpoint, simply doesn’t help writers for whom this just becomes an unwanted plot complication that inherently bumps Dick a little higher up the Priority Ladder, because his status as a Rare Ally rather than Yet Another Antagonist pretty much inevitably paves the way for more screentime for his character, and again….he’s just not the character these writers want to write about (and yeah, again, this part is totally understandable), and they’re really just not interested in allotting him that much screentime, let alone a role that could feasibly steal focus at times from Jason, edge the narrative into being more of a co-lead than the single protagonist it was definitively intended to be.

So. Fandom subset number two is equally predisposed to resenting Dick simply for the narrative obstacle he presents to one of their preferred stories to tell - with again, this pretty much taking off right around the Dickbats era, fueled in no small part by Morrison’s shitty take on Jason, which, while I maintain it was Jason that was most out of character in all of that….DOES still very easily play into that take on him, where he’s misunderstood and eternally at odds with his family.

And which also, I suspect, is why Morrison’s run tends to be weirdly popular with a lot of Jason fans who in most other places are quick to point out earmarks of Jason’s usual characterization that are entirely at odds with Morrison’s take on him, like that he’s extremely against the idea of younger sidekicks in general at this point (especially pre-Reboot), which uh, makes him taking on a younger sidekick a very….Strange Choice.

3) And then lastly we come to Tim, and a lot of his fans’ issues with Dick Grayson - which I think are heightened by a kind of feeling of betrayal that ties in here, and emphasizes the fact that just a year or two prior to Battle for the Cowl, most of these same fans would have sworn they loved Dick’s character and he was a great big brother to Tim.

See, the problem here, I think, lies in the fact that Tim is THE definitive Robin for an entire generation of readers. He’s who they see in the role every time they close their eyes, because he’s who’s always been in the role as far as they’re concerned. Back issues are just that - back issues. They’re about the history of Robin. But in the present, the here and now, for the solid twenty years or so before Battle for the Cowl, for all intents and purposes there really was only one Robin and it was uncontested that it was Tim.

And again, on a lot of levels I totally get this. I’m somewhat similar when it comes to Kyle Rayner and Green Lantern. Kyle was ‘my’ Green Lantern, the one I grew up with, the one starring in the stories that were current and ongoing for me as I aged. I was pissed as hell when they brought Hal Jordan back and he resumed being front and center in the GL franchise…..not because before this I’d had any real strong feelings about Hal one way or the other, outside of how I felt about him in the individual stories he popped up in…..but simply because Hal front and center happens to coincide with the starring GL of the solo title I personally would consider the definitive GL run….like….pretty much getting shoved offstage entirely, most of the time. I get that. It sucks.

Except that’s not QUITE the situation here.

Like the thing is, I do believe that for a lot of fans, Tim IS Robin and Robin IS Tim. That’s how its always been for them, that’s the way they like it, that’s how it should remain until his character is ready to launch into a new persona and identity of his own character’s volition. And its not like it was ever a secret that other Robins came before Tim, and that Dick was actually the creator of the mantle, the guy that all the other later Robins, including Tim, were literally the legacy OF. And its not like Dick wasn’t around in Tim’s stories, and wasn’t a familiar presence to Tim’s fans….its just that for almost twenty years, the WAY Dick appeared in Tim’s stories only added to them. There was no angle from which he took away from Tim’s stories, or the fact that they were Tim’s.

Like yes, he was a reminder that Tim was not the only Robin and never had been, that there were others with just as much claim to the title, if not more……but in a very background way. Not in any way that presented any kind of ‘threat’ to Tim’s actual status as Robin. Dick Grayson’s days as Robin were way in the past, and there was no real likelihood that they were ever going to put him back in that role, so his ‘claim’ to the Robin mantle was never at any point one that potentially contested Tim’s own. It was simply a non-issue. Instead, Dick’s status as the original Robin juxtaposed with his current roles of doting big brother and secondary mentor figure….like, at the time, this actually ADDED to Tim’s own wearing of the mantle. Dick’s presence was less a reminder that he was the one without whom the mantle wouldn’t even exist, and more just a kinda embodiment of the Robin LORE, the fact that Tim’s superhero mantle came with history and the prestige of past accomplishments accomplished by the Robin name, and the gravitas of the dangers and downsides that potentially came with the cape as well. It gave Tim an additional angle that even most of his friends and teammates in various books didn’t have, made him stand out even more.

And it didn’t hurt that pretty much any time there was a guest appearance from Nightwing in Tim’s stories, he was firmly slotted in the supporting character role, there to help Tim but not overshadow Tim, to support him but not claim credit for Tim’s ultimate victory in any given story’s climax. And there weren’t many occasions when things went in reverse, where it was Tim guest-starring in Dick’s stories and thus him clearly slotted in the supporting character category, the B character role….simply because the older veteran hero needing to call upon his younger, comparatively inexperienced ally just was never as likely - and thus, occurring as often - a story as one where the younger, relatively new hero calls upon his more experienced predecessor for help or even just some advice or someone to listen to whatever was troubling the younger hero at the time.

Thus there’s the additional angle where for almost two decades, Dick Grayson’s presence in a Tim Drake narrative was for one reason and one reason only - to support Tim in whatever endeavor he was in the middle of, and to be what Tim needed, when Tim needed.

But then of course, once again we reach Battle for the Cowl….and all of that gets upended, not even because of Dick making Damian Robin per se, IMO…..to me, its always felt like the bigger issue has always been many of Tim’s fans resenting just….the reminder, the newly centered awareness that no matter how long Tim had been THEIR Robin, he wasn’t the only Robin and never had been….and that supportive, helpful older brother whose presence had previously only added to Tim’s stories and their weight, never threatened anything that was ‘his’ narratively speaking…..not only did he also have a claim to the Robin title, he has literally the biggest claim possible, the one none of the others can match due to the mere fact that they are quite literally HIS legacy characters.

Which, not at all incidentally, is IMO the reason a lot of Tim fans are so vocal about dismissing or minimizing the impression/association of Robin with Dick’s first family. Always quick to emphasize that it being his mother’s nickname for Dick was a later addition to the canon, because it ties Dick to the Robin mantle in a way none of the others ever will be. But of course, like I’ve always maintained…that’s besides the point. Whether or not Dick named himself Robin because it was a cherished nickname, because he was a fan of Robin Hood, or for any other reason, its still equally true that he’s the creator of the mantle, plain and simple. It doesn’t exist without him, it was his aims, his intentions, his DEEDS back when he wore the (clearly circus themed and inspired, no matter what else is said about the name’s origin BUT I DIGRESS) costume originally…..like, those are literally what Robin WAS because they were what Dick created Robin to be. It was only something for others to take up later, let alone to even WANT to take up, with it coming with a weight of history and past heroics that later Robins were proud to embrace….all of that’s only because of what Dick imbued the mantle with in the eyes of the world, not to mention his own successors….via what he DID in the costume, while wearing it, coupled with the fact that there’d never really been anything like him before, a kid kicking bad guy ass alongside the more intimidating specter of his mentor.

Dick being the first Robin isn’t just a matter of linear progression, like its not just a matter of him EXISTING ahead of the others ‘in line,’ so to speak. Rather, being the first Robin is a matter of…..its literally HIM and HIS actions that every later Robin is the LEGACY of. He’s the SOURCE of the legacy. And you can’t really go…’how dare the guy I’m literally part of the legacy of, like, think he has the right to decide what happens with the mantle he and he alone created, long before I ever came along’…I mean….y’know? Boiled down to that, that doesn’t really….work, like its pretty plainly evident why the originator of a legacy mantle would think its his place to be the definitive voice on what’s done with his own damned legacy. Regardless of why he named it what he did and what specific associations the name had for him originally.

But there’s always been a determined focus on kinda…..shifting attention away from the question of who actually DOES have the right to say who wears the Robin mantle and when, because I think there is generally an awareness that like….Dick wasn’t out of line to think that his own damn creation was his to give in the name of adding to their circle of family, the same way as it did twice before. Its not that there’s NO angle from which even Tim’s fans might admit that who created a legacy matters in the question of who gets to decide who carries that legacy next. Its more that like….just the reminder, the newly centered awareness that yes, Tim is not the only claimant to the Robin title and never was, like…I think that grates a lot of people, tbh.

It may have been something that there was always SOME awareness of, the whole time, but previously it was in a way that was supposed to be ancient history, not something that could ever end up ‘taking away’ something they strongly identified with being Tim’s and Tim’s alone. Especially when the character suddenly exerting a prior or greater claim on that mantle just so happens to be one that a lot of Tim’s longtime fans had long-since internalized as being part of TIM’S supporting cast, not another protagonist in his own right, one whose decisions could have a shaping effect on Tim’s narrative rather than the other way around, the way it felt like ‘its supposed to go.’

And bringing it back to the overlap with the first two fandom impressions I talked about, I think again, yeah, this resulted in a kind of resentment of Dick’s character and the narrative obstacle he presents to…..well, keeping Robin associated with Tim and Tim alone, practically speaking. Its not so much giving Robin to Damian in the first place that’s the problem, its the fact that he COULD. That within the actual canon narrative, this was acknowledged and supported as something that ultimately, Dick did have the right to do whether individual characters liked it or not, and no, that didn’t make him the same as Bruce when he’d taken it from Dick originally (assuming they acknowledge that version of the story at all in the first place).

Because due to the fact that its not something NEW that was introduced to the story that led to Dick being ABLE to do this, but rather just him choosing to exert an option he’d had the entire time and just previously chosen not to use……inevitably, this creates a slight shift in the framing and context of even previously consumed stories. Suddenly Dick’s presence in many of those previous stories ISN’T incidental, because now they couldn’t help but be viewed through the lens of….remembering what had been kinda hand-waved away as inconsequential the entire time Tim was Robin. The fact that ultimately, Tim was only Robin because Dick endorsed him. That if Dick could give Robin to Damian later, then Dick COULD have, by the exact same token, the exact same claim and association with the mantle he’d been the one to create….he could have stuck by his initial stance, which was that Robin died with Jason.

In all fairness, as I’ve said many times before, this NEVER had anything to do with whether or not Tim became Bruce’s PARTNER, specifically. I’ve never been of the opinion that even Dick’s status as the originator of Robin had nothing to do with who ended up Bruce’s PARTNER after him - that was always going to be between Bruce and that person, and no one else. But whether, as that partner, Tim went by the name Robin….with everything it embodied and signified and carried with it already….that, yes, Dick had always had the option of saying no, I’m not okay with this, I do not give you permission to wear the SPECIFIC mantle I created, what my brother died wearing.

I mean, granted, Bruce and Tim could have done what they wanted anyway, but much like people try and dismiss or invalidate the version of events where Bruce fired Dick as Robin and stripped him of the mantle precisely BECAUSE there’s no real way to go with that version and NOT get that Bruce looks like a douche in it one way or another, simply because that was never his to take….like, same deal here. They could have powered on without Dick’s approval of someone else wearing the Robin costume, but ignoring the wishes of a mantle’s creator, to let it rest given that someone had literally died carrying that very same legacy, HIS legacy….like, that was never going to look good and would have stained pretty much Tim’s entire career as Robin.

So yeah, I think the third corner of this Isosceles of Suck is that I do believe on some level, a lot of Tim fans resent Dick’s character simply for where and in what ways it exists in any and all Robin narratives…..as the one who ultimately CAN NOT be overlooked as inconsequential, because its literally HIS legacy that Tim and all other Robins took PRIDE in embracing. And everything with Damian simply hammered that point home and made it front and center and impossible to avoid confronting, no matter how much a long time fan wanted Robin to belong to and be associated with Tim and Tim only…..with the ironic part being that I truly do GET why this would bug….because again, if you’re here for Tim, if its his stories you want to read and write, if HE’S the one you’re a fan of, and if for whatever reason you just don’t like Dick Grayson all that much even if you don’t actually hate him…..

Yeah, its likely going to lead to resentment if you yourself feel, purely from a narrative standpoint, like….’pressured’ to write Dick being afforded more respect or importance in the other characters’ eyes than you personally feel like writing. But that its hard to avoid or becomes something you actively have to write AROUND any time your own story backs you into a corner where the origins of Robin are directly relevant to the plot, and logistically, and given there’s really no plausible angle from which Tim would have embraced or taken up (let alone taken pride in) a legacy belonging to someone he DIDN’T look up to or view as worthy of respect….like…in this kind of specific plot tangle, it could very easily feel like if you want to keep things feeling in-character, you have no CHOICE but to have Tim talk up or speak positively of a character who, if it were up to you, would never command that kind of respect from Tim, a character you happen to think is just plain better than the one you feel like your story is MAKING you say is so great. Bam. Once again, you got yourself a recipe for Instant Resentment Ramen.

(Again, not at all incidentally, I think the above also has a lot to do with the pretty prevalent trend in Tim-centric stories of having him pretty much ONLY fixate or focus on Jason’s time as Robin, citing him as ‘Tim’s Robin,’ not just as like, a preference but almost to the exclusion of Tim having ever had any kind of interest in, let alone appreciation/respect for, Dick’s version of Robin before Jason stepped into the role. A lot of people would rather the respect/admiration that would normally be afforded by any legacy hero to the person whose legacy they’ve chosen to carry, like, go solely to Jason instead of Dick, just because they like him better and would rather Tim was just his successor, no one else’s.)

And with all three of these angles/elements coming to a head at the exact same place and time in the comic books and fandom……it IMO created kinda the perfect storm right around the Dickbats era, where suddenly all these totally disparate sections of fandom all felt weirdly in agreement on one thing and one thing only….Dick Grayson was really just kinda bugging them, and what’s so great about that dude anyway?

And from there I think they all kinda just fed into each other and grew exponentially, with the individual ‘workarounds’ used by each other characters’ fans to get around the narrative obstacle that Dick represented, like…..I think these all became so prevalent and widespread throughout fandom because even these totally separate corners of fandom that had very little else they agreed on, were more than happy to take each other’s ‘rewrite’ of Dick and his place/depiction in the overall narratives and canon and just run with it….because not at all coincidentally, each other ‘group’s’ revisionist take on Dick Grayson made their own even easier to sell within their own stories. And thus you also ended up with correlating trends like Jason and Tim being besties and bonding over their resentment of Dick, because why not, both their fanon narratives now predominantly shared the same deliberately unappealing depictions of their eldest brother.

With the New 52 and post-reboot storylines then doing absolutely NOTHING to negate or derail all of the above, but rather just reinforcing all of it. Because as Bruce kept being written behaving worse and worse with his children, including Dick, it only added to and expanded upon the problems Bruce’s fans already have with Dick’s character, even if just in terms of how big a plot/characterization obstacle he presents for the stories they want to write.

Just as the way Lobdell wrote Jason equally fed into and built upon the issues a lot of Jason’s fans have with Dick’s character and the tangle he creates for a number of stories. And then with the frequent conflicts over how two of the characters Dick’s historically been closest with had been practically cut and pasted from Dick’s stories and history into Jason’s stories and history instead, like, that just threw more fuel on the fire, particularly when it happened to ignite defensiveness among fans of the Roy/Jason/Kory trio who additionally resented having to defend their usage/embrace of a trio that canon threw together, not them, that they just happened to like. And that in turn hardly making them any less predisposed to resenting how complicated Dick’s character makes things for certain key narratives.

And then lastly, DC’s just complete and total fuckery with Tim’s character in the New 52 as a whole, but specifically in his issues with trying out various personas post-Robin but never finding/creating anything with a truly firm sense of its own identity, the way Dick has Nightwing and Jason has Red Hood, and thus give fans of both characters no REASON to mourn the loss of Robin or wish for them to go back to it….whereas without ever settling into something similar, that was both strongly and uniquely Tim Drake in premise and execution, there was no reason for his fans NOT to begrudge the loss of the Robin mantle and wish for him to go back to it/to have never left it, at least not until he’d found that other persona to actually ‘graduate’ into.

Phew. *wipes brow*

Anyway, that’s my big theory on why fandom as a whole is the way it is about Dick’s canon vs fanon. Am I right? Probably not completely, and even if I am its not like this is universal or that there aren’t other reasons for why fans engage with Dick’s character in the ways they do, including but not limited to “I just don’t like the guy, so what.” And its not like there’s any way to know for sure, or to get a sense of how much of fandom this theory IS on the right track with, at least in some ways. But overall, I do think there’s at least some of the above present in various ‘parts’ of fandom or with various specific fanon trends. *Shrugs* YMMV though.

#me @ me: wow shut up already #me @ @ me: Im not wrong tho #me @ @ @ me: yeah but still. jeez. take a breath much?`#okay Im gonna stop now

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justanotherghostwriter · 2 years

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Hey dear Twin! Hope your day is gentle and comforting! For the fanfic writer asks:

If you had to assign a theme song to Atlas Rebuilding which would you assign? BUT it can't be a SaL song! 16. What fanfic tropes do you avoid writing for? 20. What feedback makes you the happiest to hear? 29. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc) 35. Where’s your favorite place to write?

Hello, Twin! I hope you had a good weekend! I wanted to get to this sooner, but your first question broke my brain and then my internet. Nah, I'm kidding: the internet broke on its own. I did need a few hours to try and come up with an answer to question 1, though. It was so hard.

1.A Theme Song for Atlas that isn't Sleeping at Last. I'm still not entirely happy with this answer lmao. I think it's difficult for me because Atlas has quite a few themes, at least in my mind. And all of them can be grouped into acts/sections. Like chapters 1-4 have a distinct theme/reason/heart/plot behind them, and that's quite different from the next chunk of chapters. Should I thus have made this more than one fic? Very probably. So let me cheat and tell you that two songs that are definitely Zuko's POV about chapters 1-4 are "The Truth Is" by Go Radio and "The End of the Road" by Shaun Jacobs. And thennnnn I think, if I were to make a blanket theme of Atlas be the discovery of self and self-worth and how changing the world can be done in "small ways" that don't necessitate being a classic hero fighting the big bad, but just needs you to find yourself and change your immediate sphere with the precious, unique gift that you are and have every right to take time to develop into... (ETA: this post says it better than I can help.) Then I gotta go animated soundtracks xD "Son of Man" by Phil Collins (just make all the male references gender-neutral) and "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas. Probably. Maybe?

16. What fanfic tropes do you avoid writing for?

Very few lmao because I'm a walking cliche, let's be honest. I won't touch any of the smut-related ones (A/B/O, screw or die etc etc), but I'm pretty sure that's where my line is? I spend more time actively fighting bad TV-writing habits in my fic than I do fighting fic tropes.

20. What feedback makes you the happiest to hear?

I really love hearing that I'm not crazy. So just picking out any part of the chapter/fic at all and going, "Man, this part made me feel things" sends me entirely to the moon and beyond. Rocket ship launching, on cloud nine for the rest of the day. It's beyond humbling and, at the same time, rewarding, to have written proof that things my brain thought of and felt things over also make other people feel the same things. Imagine! My phrases make people's hearts have emotions! How much better can you get in life, honestly?

29. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most?

The mind-writing lmao. I really enjoy making the outline and seeing how everything will fit together for sure, but there's nothing that can beat walking somewhere and listening to music and writing the scenes in my head and getting the exact dialogue/bits of description and then just imagining it, full animation and backing score, in my head. Of course, I then need to try and translate that to words on a screen and it never translates as well as I want it to, but I think it's worth the pain xD

35. Where’s your favorite place to write?

Anywhere that's quiet, really. The fewer distractions the better. As much as I love sunshine and a pretty view, I prefer to write indoors facing a blank wall or curtain so that my mind doesn't go tralala-ing down a rabbit trail. Sunlight is only for people who finish their fic! D:<

#askbox answers #About my writing #Brilliant Bloggers #Northern Twin

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merryfortune · 3 years

Text

You give me flowers of love

Written for 100ships Challenge on Dreamwidth

Prompt #39 - Pink

Ship: Nodoka/Hinata

Fandom: Healin’ Good PreCure

Word Count: 3,757

Rating: M

Warnings: No Warnings Apply

AN: title comes from Bloodflowers by The Cure and is recommended listening for this fic.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Hanahaki, Horror, Gore, Emetophobia/Emetophilia, Angst and Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Past/Referenced Eriko/Hinata, Minor Blood

Hinata was not the type of girl who could handle horror stories, urban legends, or anything spookier than a rom-com set against the background of a popular coffee shop. However, there was something about this creepypasta that caught her attention. Maybe she read it to prove that she wasn’t a scaredy-cat or maybe she read it because something about it was almost too real.

It came across her Curestagram feed, screenshots reposted from another site with long form text functions rather than the optimized for photos aesthetic of Curestagram. It wasn’t late at night, quite the opposite, Hinata had just been scrolling as she was half nibbling on a banana muffin for morning tea. So she was kind of bored and not already unsettled by a vague anxiety sort of mindset so she stopped her scroll to read this totally true story from a friend of a friend that had happened upon her timeline.

The story involved a sickness. A lovesickness, hooking Hinata immediately since she was a hopeless romantic and leaving her vulnerable to what was hiding down below a few paragraphs after and Hinata realised she was reading a surreal medical horror story.

Supposedly, some girl from a high school in the next town over had been hospitalized due to damage to her stomach and esophagus but ultimately culminated in her passing away from brain damage due to suffocation. The suffocation that was the outcome of the damage she had taken to her stomach and esophagus had, supposedly, been caused by the growing of flowers inside of her. Doctors couldn’t explain it. They were baffled by the impossibility of it. Yet where they failed to posit theories at all, their patient had her own she desperately desired to reveal.

The nameless girl, as weak as she was in her final moments of speech and cognition, was certain with the most crystal clear clarity that she could muster said that reason for the flowers growing inside of her was due to a crush that she had been fostering for quite some time. A crush that was so powerful and deep that it had manifested as literal and impossible distress in the form of tiger lily flowers. Though her claims were dismissed as nonsense, despite the very given evidence that she had been vomiting exotic flowers, except by the narrator who was sharing her story online on her behalf.

Hinata got to the bottom line of the final screenshot and she dropped her phone on the table. She shivered and flinched as her phone clattered. Nyatoran looked up, alarmed, from the milk that he had been sipping.

“Heh? Are you okay Hinata?” he asked.

“Y-Yeah, I just lost my grip.” Hinata replied. It wasn’t a lie.

“Really? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Nyatoran pointed out.

Hinata made an expression that was both guilty and embarrassed, “Er, sort of… I read a ghost story online and I haven’t the stomach for them.”

“Oh, well, no worries then. I’ll keep ya safe from all the ghoulies then.” Nyatoran boasted.

Hinata laughed, “Thanks, Nyatoran.” she replied.

And that was more or less enough to keep her mind off what she had read for the rest of the day as she did her Sunday homework and such. At least until well after lights out.

Hinata cursed herself. She knew endless walls of text in screenshots never bore good news but it was under her skin now. It wasn’t even that scary, she tried to convince herself. It just so happened to play off something she had been thinking about in ways that cut deep and yes, even scary.

Hinata had a crush of her own. One she didn’t think she ought to act on. Or didn’t know how to act on.

Hinata had a crush on Nodoka. She was sweet and gentle yet so motivated. Hinata felt like she learned something new about either herself or Nodoka after every time they hung out. Things never felt old between them despite how natural their companionship was between them.

Catching feelings for Nodoka was inevitable, Hinata felt regarding their dynamic as close friends and their friendship was relatively intense due to their bond as comrades being Pretty Cures but that made Hinata sick to her stomach with fear. This wasn’t her first crush that she had on another girl.

In the not so recent past, Hinata had been wrong reading other girls’ opinions and feelings regarding her before. She and Eriko had been so close, childhood friends with a pact that seemed fit to stand the test of time when they had made it, and Hinata didn’t think it was a coincidence that already scarce contact between them after Eriko moved was when Hinata had confessed her feelings to Eriko.

The rejection had been crushing and Hinata had never told a soul about it. The wound was older now but it still hurt so, as lovely as Nodoka was, Hinata didn’t want to gamble their friendship due to that prior rejection. Yet her feelings crackled like electricity near a lightning rod whenever she was around Nodoka anyway. She could only hope that Nodoka was oblivious since she was so inexperienced socially due to her childhood spent mostly in the hospital.

(And that Chiyu never brought up the blatantly obvious which she would hopefully never do since she knew there was a place and a time and it wasn’t her place).

Thus, for all these different and entangling reasons, that horror story Hinata had read this morning really resonated. The thought of her unrequited feelings becoming literal, even in the form of pretty and seemingly harmless flowers, and suffocating. It was a very real fear to Hinata despite that fantastical execution that it was captured inside.

All because she was a magical girl infused with the power of light and thunder. She fought villains who caused infections in nature and created monsters. To her, it didn’t seem too far outside of her sphere of tried and true reality that such a floral disease of the body could exist. Heck, maybe it did exist and was tied to the war that she and her friends were fighting in secret on behalf of the Healing Animals. It was entirely possible this flower vomit disease was another agent or power of the Byougens.

Hinata groaned and the more she scolded herself for thinking about these horrible possibilities, the more she thought about them. She tossed and turned all night, in the dark and under the covers of her doona. She knew Nyatoran would live up to his boasting over morning tea if she asked but he was totally conked out in his little room. Hinata couldn’t bring herself to wake him, to unnecessarily burden him, so she just hid from her fears as best as she could in her blankets.

The following morning, Hinata was a wreck. She had bags under her eyes and was generally a drag. She hasn’t slept a wink last night but just like she was hiding from the horror story in her head, she decided to hide from the aftermath too. She touched up her eyes with concealer and finished off her make-up with a nice little kiss of lip balm, too. She chose a nice tropical flavour: pineapple with vanilla undertones and wore nude in practice. With that, she was ready for what was no doubt going to be a long, long day of school.

A prediction that she was very right in having. Just making it to lunch felt like an eternity and a half on low energy. Worst still, despite the precautions that Hinata had taken, both Chiyu and Nodoka had noticed that she wasn’t exactly her bouncy self today. Even with her favourite lunch box in her lap with fried chicken and a fruit drink, too.

“Are you okay, Hinata?” Nodoka asked and she batted her long eyelashes in concern.

Hinata knew she couldn’t lie or deflect around Nodoka, at least for the most part, and deflated, “No…” she moaned. “I slept awfully last night.”

“I expect that it wasn’t due to over studying?” Chiyu asked, sniping.

“No, I just. Couldn’t sleep.” Hinata shrugged.

“Well, be sure to put yourself early to bed tonight then. There’s nothing worse than being tired.” Nodoka said.

“Will do.” Hinata sighed.

“Also?” Nodoka prompted her.

“Yeah?” Hinata glanced at Nodoka was she tried a spoonful of rice from her side dishes.

“Your lip balm has a very strong smell today, I can smell it from here.” Nodoka laughed.

“Oh, joy…” Hinata hung her head in misery. She didn’t think it was so pungent in the tube.

“I didn’t mean that in a mean way.” Nodoka panicked whilst Chiyu had a discrete giggle at Hinata’s misfortune. “I really like it. I think it smells nice. Like cherries. I love the smell of cherries best.”

“Huh?” Hinata mumbled and she stared straight at Nodoka in confusion.

Nodoka stared back. Also in confusion. “Is something the matter?”

“Er, no,” Hinata awkwardly began and she forced herself to laugh and she flapped a hand about too to disguise her weirdness, “I must have been so tired this morning that I though I used one lip balm and instead used another.”

“That is a little odd…” Chiyu murmured.

But Nodoka seemed to buy it, she gasped, “Fwow, you must have been really tired this morning to make such a mistake. Promise me to get a good night’s rest tonight then.” Nodoka fussed for her.

“I promise, I promise.” Hinata replied.

Just as Hinata spoke, the end of lunch bell rang. She moaned with the utmost misery as she hadn’t finished her lunch even slightly and roused much sympathy from both Nodoka and Chiyu. So, Hinata crammed what she could into her mouth and swallowed before returning with her friends indoors to their classroom.

She plopped down in her chair and desk, her stomach growling almost immediately. Were it not for the teacher at the front of the classroom, Hinata would have flopped down and keeled over right there and then. She would have killed for a nap. Not even a luxurious nanna nap at this point, she would take a horrid power nap. Anything would have been better than nothing. Instead, the best she could muster was some daydreaming whilst scribbling in her work book so she could at least pretend to be paying attention.

Her mind strayed to Nodoka. She couldn’t help it. A silly little pining schoolgirl was exactly what she was after all. She doodled Nodoka’s name in her margins, surrounded with love-hearts, paw prints, and even flowers. It was a little bit childish but Hinata was a lot childish so she didn’t mind, she was more or less on cloud nine since Nodoka had shown her care for her over lunch, fussing for her like that.

It was such a small act but it was more than enough to launch Hinata’s heart in a million miles an hour race. So much so, she began to taste something at the back of her throat. It was a sweet taste accompanied by a fizzy sensation. Hinata liked it and it seemed to get stronger the more she daydreamed about Nodoka. Even though it was the middle of class, Hinata was letting her mind completely run away from the contents of what the teacher was attempting to educate on them.

Finally, after what felt like a day of self torment because of reading some stupid horror story about puking flowers, Hinata felt free of that gnawing anxiety. But just as she revelled in this, her stomach wretched. She dry gagged with the searing taste of bile at the back of her throat and her hand automatically clamped over her mouth, pen and all. The prior anxiety might have dissipated but a new one had spiked in its place.

Hinata frowned. Was it because she hadn’t eaten all her lunch that she suddenly felt nauseous? Or was it something else? She begged that it wasn’t her period, she was still quite irregular so this felt off or early to her.

Then she gagged again. She swallowed it back down. Hard. Whatever she swallowed was thick and sweet. It wasn’t vomit, Hinata had the startling realisation. She tried hard to keep it down but she failed. She vomited into her hand, or at least something similar. The motions were awful, worse than anything else she had ever had to eject from her body orally before.

Hinata felt sick to the very bottom of her stomach. Her hands shook as she slowly removed the one over her mouth and… and she couldn’t believe her eyes. They widened in shock as she saw the head of a flower in the palm of her hand. It was a cherry blossom, she realised. The pale pink petals were frayed at the edges, burnt by stomach acid and wet with her saliva; the anthers of its centre drooped and dragged, splayed across the petals. Her skin crawled as she marveled at the insane gravity of the situation. She quickly paled.

And the teacher noticed, “Hiramitsu, are you okay?” he asked from in front of the chalkboard, looking up concerned from the book he was reciting from.

“I-I, um, I need to go. To the nurse.” Hinata eked out her words with strained difficulty.

Her stomach flipped and she could feel another one coming up. It slithered up her throat and she hated the slow, dreadful sensation of it, the way it made her mouth taste of bile and cherries in horrible combination. Hinata bolted to her feet, afraid, alarming the whole class. She hid her mouth behind her hand again, holding tight that first flower that she had vomited.

“I need to go.” Hinata mumbled and she fled.

The feeling of her classmates' eyes on her felt like broken glass digging. She knew, deep down, they didn’t mean harm but their gazes only served to amplify the terror she felt as she fled. She was fast at first, escaping from the classroom but her stomach lurched and she vomited another flower and then again but two at once this time.

Hinata stopped in the hallway, she had to rest her shoulder against the wall just to stand as she looked down into the palm of her hand. The flowers were accumulating against her skin, wet and heavy, and accelerating in pace of production. Already she felt another lurch and this one was dire, Hinata didn’t think she would be so lucky to only vomit one or two this next time.

She had to get to the sick bay. She wasn’t sure what she would do there but anything had to be better than nothing, so she hobbled on in immense pain. By nothing less than a miracle, Hinata managed to get to the nurse’s suite without collapsing. Or with leaving too many flowers in her meagre wake.

The school nurse panicked almost immediately when she saw Hinata in this state. Hinata sputtered out a thank you whilst she was put to bed. Hinata curled up under the sheets, her stomach lurching and mangled petals dripped out of her mouth. She had to hide her ailment from the nurse. She just had to. She didn’t know how to explain it or anything else pertaining to it but fortunately, the nurse bought her some time by going to use administration’s phone to let her father know that Hinata was in immediate medical distress.

Hinata held her scrawny belly with one hand and her mouth the other. No matter how hard she tried, these flowers kept dredging up from inside of her and it was worsening. There was distention building inside of her, it was as if she could feel the bushels of cherry blossom flowers forming inside of her and something else too. It was raw and firm and poking up through her like a stick. Hinata moaned in utter agony as she tasted not just sweetness and bile in her mouth, but the cutting, metallic taste of blood too.

She whimpered as she tried to swallow it down. Attempting so, just made the nicks and cuts to her throat worsen and the petals to clog. Her lungs ached sharply as she struggled to breathe. Her eyes squeezed tight and she begged every deity she could think of for a saviour.

The door to the sick bay opened again. Hinata murmured to herself and the curtain was pulled aside, “Hinata?” a sweet voice greeted her.

“Huh?” Hinata slurred.

She rolled over, still holding herself but even a simple and slow motion like that was enough to rouse her illness violently. Her grimace was deep on her face as she tried to look at Nodoka, even feebly.

“A-Are you okay, Hinata?” she asked. “I couldn’t sit by and worry when I saw you ill you were, what’s wrong?”

Hinata opened her mouth. Mostly to reply, but that’s not what happened. She threw up in front of Nodoka and Nodoka couldn’t believe her eyes. Hinata was throwing up bushels upon bushels of flowers. Cherry blossoms. Nodoka blinked. She couldn’t believe the sights - or the smell. The smell was disconcerting with how almost pleasantly fragrant it was, heightening Nodoka’s realisation that this wasn’t Hinata pulling pranks.

“H-How on Earth did this happen…?” Nodoka asked.

She was horrified yet found herself unable to resist the impulse. She picked a blossom out of the pile that Hinata had vomited up. It was soft in her hand, even if it was grotesquely wet.

“I - I don’t-” Hinata tried to speak but she cut herself off when she felt something jut out of her mouth. An entire branch of cherry blossoms began to spike out of her mouth.

Her eyes began to roll back on themselves as Nodoka watched, in abject and frozen horror, as Hinata contended with this stick inside of her. It emerged slowly from the depths of her throat and made her chest convulse. Her fingers spasmed as she choked around it, flowers blooming along the thin and coarse branch.

“H-Help me.” Hinata sputtered out.

Nodoka nodded. She was scared, her heart was pounding, but she was first and foremost a helper of most empathetic ends. She had been on the receiving end of a strange and bizarre illness that had rendered most her childhood for naught. She couldn’t just let Hinata struggle. Suffocate.

So, she got onto the bed with Hinata. She straddled her so she could best approach the foreign object inside of Hinata. She focused her eyes and was as ready as she could ever be for an amateur operation quite like this one. Nodoka reached out and pinched the end of the branch delicately. It was entirely unsafe, Nodoka knew that, but she began to pull. She peered into Hinata’s pink mouth was clogged with twigs and petals, and tried her best to dislodge what she could.

Hinata gagged. Tears in her eyes and she plead, silently and afraid, that Nodoka could handle this. Nodoka’s hands shook but she did, in fact, manage. She tried her hardest and she did succeed even if it felt pyrrhic as Hinata screamed out as the last, and thickest, part of the cherry blossom branch was removed.

Nodoka flinched hearing the scream, dropping the cherry blossom branch between them. Hinata spat out blood and petals but the cherry blossom branch had been removed. She caressed her neck and it was raw with what it had been through. Her touches did little to soothe or quell her pain, she looked up at Nodoka with pathetic, red rimmed eyes.

“What was that?” Nodoka asked, her heart quaking. “How could any of this be possibly real?”

“I - I don’t know.” Hinata mumbled but that was a lie. She choked on her words all the same as she had choked on those cherry blossoms. Her hands squeezed tight. “No. I’m sorry. I do know.”

“Pardon?” Nodoka quietly exclaimed.

“There’s a very rare disease,” Hinata began, hasty, “that causes flowers to grow inside of someone suffering with a crush that they just can’t handle.”

“That’s horrible…” Nodoka murmured.

It was now or never, Hinata realised. Or she was going to end up exactly like the girl from the story that she had read yesterday. She knew it. She just knew it.

“Nodoka, it’s you.” Hinata confessed, half a sob in her voice. “I’m crushing on you.”

Nodoka was stunned by Hinata’s admission.

Hinata panted, her face was going bright red whilst her heart pounded like a hammer at her rib cage. She couldn’t believe it. She had done it. But it felt like a weight off, she had to admit, she didn’t realise her crush had been such a burden until right now. She felt herself lighten with the confession, from the very pit of her stomach, upwards and outwards.

Nodoka averted her gaze and Hinata was reminded once more why a crush was called a crush. That borderline feel good feeling from before popped. Burst. Nodoka played with her hair, fidgeting, and then managed to speak in a very calm and very quiet voice.

“I have a crush on you, too, Hinata.” Nodoka replied. “I admire so much how you sparkle and shine. It’s very refreshing to be around. I like you too. A lot.”

Nodoka reached out to Hinata’s hand and held it. She was so warm and she was still trembling but Nodoka’s caress of it did soothe her. Hinata hazarded a smile, like she couldn’t believe her ears, through her scarlet expression. Nodoka leaned in and kissed Hinata.

Hinata was unable to kiss back, afraid of her own breath but Nodoka didn’t mind. It was pungent with cherry blossoms and wet but she found the kiss sufficiently sweet, kissing Hinata’s soft, balmy lips. They were tinged with pineapple and vanilla beneath that overwhelming sensation of cherry blossoms.

“Thank you, Nodoka…” Hinata murmured and somehow, she didn’t know or understand how but she wasn’t going to complain, she was cured, prettily, of her affliction.

The cherry blossom flowers on the bed or in her gut, disappeared. All with seemingly little aplomb. Even the branch that had to have been removed from her throat, all with a soft, fizzling noise that Hinata could hardly hear over the sound of her pounding heart. She still had the cuts and scrapes, but she was no longer growing flowers inside of her stomach. Hinata was cured and Nodoka was her blessed, angelic cure.

#100ships challenge #femslash #nodohina #healin good precure #healin good #precure #nodoka hanadera #hanadera nodoka #cure grace #cure sparkle #hiramitsu hinata #hinata hiramitsu #writing tag #i really like this fic so i hope you guys enjoy

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sailorstarr-chan4 · 3 years

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God, I wish I could enjoy reading/writing Inuyasha fics again.

I was gonna keep this just in my tags, but fuck it.

I literally, almost physically, cannot look up or click on Inuyasha fics anymore. The few exceptions I made in 2020-2021 are incredibly few and sparsely in-between, especially after Yashahime's announcement.

I can't even reread old faves.

I barely skim my own, and only as an exercise of "I need to work on my WIPs, lemme glance over what I've got."

Hell, I downright sometimes feel physically ill, or at the very least, on the verge of a panic attack, when I do try to look up fics! I straight up blocked the Inuyasha tag for almost the first half of 2021 because even fan art (fucking fan art!!) was making me feel horrible and nasty and uncomfortable AF.

(And no, not because of the existence of That One Ship because I could not give less of a shit - and barely saw much of it in my sphere anyway - so much as the absolute madhouse that centered around said ship, the mud-slinging over the fact that people liked or disliked it/Yashahime as a whole, and even neutrals like me getting attacked over daring to not give a fuck.

How BOTH sides were claiming "I'm being stalked and harassed!!!!!" and yet no one seems to agree which side is "worse" in terms of behavior because it got so out of hand so disgustingly fast and for so. fucking. long.)

In short, this fandom's drama has thoroughly and unequivocally destroyed my love of Inuyasha fics.

And that's a damn fucking shame.

Because I LOVED those fics. I loved the post-canon fluff and smut. I loved the AUs, Inuyasha being one of the very few fandoms I can even entertain the idea of OOC AUs with. I loved the fans' passion, the giggling on Discord, the Horniness on Main, the ideas and brainstorming, etc.

And fuck it I'll say it, I fucking LOVED MY fics!! Writing Inuyasha fics brought me so much joy and life to my stale writing career at that point! I had my writing on hold for years, because I was getting nowhere with my original stuff, until my fiancé-then-boyfriend encouraged me to give fanfiction a try.

I want that back. I want all of that back.

Despite my very complicated, salty, and depressed relationship with the fandom now, if I were to write for Inuyasha again, it would probably only be for finishing An Unexpected Encounter, Prince of Thieves, and Shards of the Sea. Who can say what the future holds beyond that, but that's how it feels now. I only haven't completely divorced myself from the fandom because of the handful of people I chat with on Discord and my loyalty to my dusty ol' WIPs.

Because here's the kicker: the drama did more than kill my love for Inuyasha fics: it made writing ANYTHING AT ALL nearly impossible.

By some miracle, reading other fandom's fics was no problem (thank you, Harry Potter and Disney fandoms, for being my saving grace for the past 2 years 😭😭😭), but writing..... was stagnated, to say the least.

Did I manage SOME writing in the past 2 years? By the skin of my teeth, yes, but there's been no "new" updates in almost a year, and basically a year before that. (Discounting Tied Together and Bonds Across Time, since they became mini-archives for older sketches lol)

Idk I just.... I just needed to vent. The fact that people are STILL screaming down each others' throats, the fact that ancient discourse on the original series is STILL being recycled and rehashed, the fact that seeing people punching out fics in spite of it all makes me so ashamed and pathetic and tiny.....

Why can't we all just get along? Why can't shippers go ship their thing and mind their own business, and people who don't like it can block their NOTPs and not endlessly rag on it? Why can't people just watch a stupid fucking anime in peace? Why can't fandoms be just for fun and not add to the stress of an already burning world?

#Starling ramblings #this post was brought to you by chatting on Discord for the first time in forever and remembering how fucking dumb the drama is #and just.... feeling kinda sad and nostalgic I guess

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traditional-with-a-twist · 3 years

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xxxi. Beauty and Her Beast - REWRITE

@the-pompous-potato awww, so glad to hear that you love all of it! It’s like reading through the chapter with you, hearing all the moments that caught your eye. Yeah, I really wanted to bring Mitsuhide back into this arc - he hasn’t been mentioned lately, but he is missed.

@bubblesthemonsterartist XD these are factors that were not taken into consideration but the advice is undeniably sound!

<<Previous || first arc || second arc || AO3 || Next>>

A/N: Dear readers, you’ve been both patient and supportive. Please consider this both an apology and a thank you: the wedding arc just wasn’t coming together. I had fought my way to the climax only to discover that the key moment fell flat. There was no way to recover - it had all started off on the wrong foot. So I scrapped everything starting with Ryuu’s chapter and started afresh. I will edit the AO3 chapters for the sake of preserving comments, etc, but may post the original version as an attached fic if you’re interested in seeing how it lurched to the finish.

The good news is, the entire arc is now written, so you can expect more regular updates for the next little while!

...

Ryuu had left the castle in spring, and now it was autumn.

The plants had changed seasons in his absence - some had gone to seed, others flowered, and still others were breaking the soil. He had the curious sensation of life going on without him, of decisions made and friends lost, all while he was away, out of sight.

...

Some things hadn’t changed: stone moves only slowly; it shrinks as the wind carries particles of it away once the sun has baked it hard and crumbly, layer and layer, altering its shape not with a hammer and chisel but fine trickles of dust.

Stone moves so slowly that it is invisible; in a human’s lifetime, he will see only one shape. Even though it alters, his eye alters with it; he perceives nothing.

In that way, Ryuu had carried the walls of Wistal with him, in his mind’s eye, and erected them anew on his return.

The ceiling rested overhead; the walls held the room together; Garrack worked at her desk; Yatsufusa greeted them every morning.

Some things hadn’t changed.

...

Some changes he had expected: the leaves turning to gold, painting the trees’ faces a new color with their reflected light.

Clustered around the outskirts of the castle and extending deep into the countryside, the trees hung over everything in their new agedness, come too soon for Ryuu.

The trees in the port town, warmed by the nearby water, had not finished turning; their transformation was not yet complete but now that he was home, he found all the trees here different - wearing new faces, losing their green luster in preparation for winter, overnight and prematurely.

So it seemed to him, returned to find that mourning had set in like an early autumn in Wistal.

No one spoke of it anymore, as they might have when the leaves first shed the color of life; now it went unacknowledged and yet omnipresent in the unfamiliar shadows the change had cast over them all.

...

These changes - known but unseen, or anticipated but unwelcome - would have been more than enough for Ryuu.

His acute sensitivity to the currents of nature, was matched only by his awareness of the energies of the people around him - except that nature he had learned to explain, to give a precise account of, while people continued to speak in languages largely foreign to his ear, and to behave in patterns that he could no more explain than he could wish them away.

He felt their fluctuations through an instinct too deep for words - which meant that he could seek no help for the confusion it caused him, any more than he could give voice to the questions he wished answered.

How could he receive answers when he could not articulate the questions?

Unable to decode, decipher, or analyze with the aid of his mind, Ryuu instead absorbed the turmoil he sensed, holding it inside himself like a human capacitor, until the charge diffused.

...

This took time - but time was what no one could give him, even if they had understood how badly he needed it.

Change - precipitous and shattering as a lightning bolt - had struck in his absence, permanently altered the sphere of his existence, and left him hopelessly behind in recognizing and tracking its movements.

It had come and gone before he knew anything of it. Now he was left to make sense of what remained in its wake.

...

It was not that Ryuu was unhappy that Shirayuki and Obi would marry. It would not cross his mind to approve or disapprove of their decisions.

He did not wonder, why so soon? He did not ask, was it proper? He did not compare Obi to Zen or wonder at Shirayuki’s change of heart, at Obi’s sudden revelation of passion.

He did not think the worse of them for it.

He would have preferred not to think of it at all.

...

He didn’t have the tools to approach it; he withdrew in confusion and fear from what had once given him delight and fed his heart and his mind with warmth and curiosity.

Shirayuki had been a source of joy to him - as startling as the red of his favorite flower at first, then comforting in her quiet consistency. Day after day, she had worked beside him, gentle and understanding, keen and quick in her thinking, yet soft as petals in her presence.

She had been transplanted too soon, trading away her uniform out of season for another dress, and he had missed her - but now she was something else entirely, inexplicable.

He had thought he knew her; now she felt further from him than ever, slipping away when he wasn’t looking, and he couldn’t bear to look.

...

Then there was Obi: like the too-tall branches of a tree, Obi had been out of sight, then out of reach - stretching overhead, impressive and other, to the point of intimidating Ryuu with his strength and presence.

He and Obi belonged to different worlds, though they might occupy the same space: Ryuu grounded, Obi somewhere above - skyward, tending free and waving in the mind. Obi was challenging and supple yet also somehow vulnerable when bent to the point of breaking.

It wasn’t until Ryuu had risked enough to test his weight against Obi that he realized this laughing stranger could support him, bear him up, lift him to new heights unimagined, out of his comfortable places and into the clouds - not as blank and terrifying a place as Ryuu had imagined but full of wind and sun and new life.

...

He hadn’t looked for either of them to break the soil in his life, and now he didn’t want them to leave.

Be perennials, he wanted to beg them, and come again after this season of death and destruction and dormancy.

He knew, nonetheless, that some flowers only bloom once in a lifetime. He knew, but at the same time could not know it, could only wish it untrue in the very admission of it.

The knowledge was too awful for words, especially now with the charge of change built up so high in Ryuu that language failed him and left only a mute unrest.

...

It was in this state that Obi found him.

Obi was a frothing mix of anticipation and impatience; he was on a mission to conscript witnesses for the ceremony.

Shirayuki said it ought properly to be his blood brother; Obi wouldn’t know where to find such a man even if he existed, so then he had thought of Little Ryuu.

...

He thought almost guiltily of Ryuu because Obi had felt his silence since the announcement and felt it impenetrable.

No matter how much Obi filled that silence with his own voice, the words ran away, like drops of rain over a parched earth that would not drink.

Then when Shirayuki spoke of brothers, Obi had thought of Ryuu.

...

Obi hoped this gesture, this invitation, would speak for him and say more than his words could when he said the miss would be very pleased if Ryuu would stand for them at the wedding.

Really he was saying, Would you be my brother?

Brothers, as far as Obi could understand them, were forever.

...

Obi hoped for a yes, or at least a smile, but then Ryuu wasn’t a talker.

He didn’t say yes, but he didn’t say no.

He had always been quiet, and so Obi had to content himself with silence.

#Akagami no Shirayukihime #obiyuki #PurePassion #Beauty and Her Beast #reboot #take two on Ryuu's inner world

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blackjack-15 · 3 years

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Adoration to Ashes, Dust to Just — Thoughts on: Alibi in Ashes (ASH)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI, SHA, CUR, CLK, TRN, DAN, CRE, ICE, CRY, VEN, HAU, RAN, WAC, TOT, SAW, CAP

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraphs above, along with my list of previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: ASH; mention of a whole host of previous games with the Hardy Boys in them; mention of SCK; mention of STFD; mention of FIN; mention of DED; small spoilers for SPY; unflattering mention of the Nancy Drew: Girl Detective series; brief mention of erotic-shifter-romance book Bearllionaire.

The Intro:

Welcome to the Nancy Games, lads!

Before we begin, since we’re at the beginning of a new “section” of games, let’s go over exact what the “Nancy Games” entail. Unlike the other games, this section (which runs from ASH through SPY) of games is most concerned with Nancy’s personality, growth, and showing her through a different character foil each game.

These games not only give us a better picture of who Nancy is, but also how she fits (or doesn’t fit) into the world around her and with the people that she meets. Rather than solving the case, these games are made to make Nancy react to things; rather than ‘where is Nancy Drew’ or ‘what case is Nancy Drew tackling’, the preeminent question for ASH and the four games after it is simple: ‘Who Is Nancy Drew?’.

Though only possible because of the nature of the miscellaneous games (WAC, TOT) and the Faerietale Games (SAW, CAP), the Nancy Games have been sorely needed since the series graduated past the first few cases. For a lot of the series, the games weren’t really concerned with the main character of the series, preferring her to be a blank slate that players could superimpose themselves onto…which, as recent media (such as Twilight, and Twilight But With Bondage This Time), isn’t a good basis for a character outside of a dime-store bodice ripper.

But these games aren’t Bearllionaire, they’re detective stories, and detective stories need a strong main detective to carry the story — not to mention the stakes.

That’s where these games come in. Building obviously to the story in SPY, each game explores another facet of Nancy’s personality, and shows what she could become — or could have become, in a few instances — should she let the more negative sides of her personality take over, or if she trusts the wrong kind of people and makes the wrong friends.

How better to illustrate than by showing exactly the kinds of people that Nancy’s friends are? That’s what ASH is primarily concerned about — showing who Nancy is by showing the reactions of people who have known her all her life to a crisis. The only difference between Nancy and her Foil in this game is the fact that Nancy has good people — good friends — fighting for her. It’s how she gets herself out of jail, and how she manages to solve the crime.

And it’s a fun (if a bit clunky) game mechanic as well.

This is why this story can only happen in Nancy’s hometown. Not only is it delightful for fans to see (modern-day, as we saw the old version in CLK) River Heights for the first time and get to explore a bit around the town, but hometowns in media are quite significant when looking at who a character is.

Almost always, a hometown is used as sort of a microcosm for the character, giving us a bit of a cheat sheet into who they are as a person just by showing their environment. Think about it — how many times in cop shows (which are the most blatant offenders by far) are we told that a character is from a small town, and thus they’re intent on proving themselves, probably a ridiculously hard worker (to get out of “that place”), and a bit more innocent than their inner-city colleagues? Or that a character grew up overseas to justify their interest in international crime, establish them as a bit of a wildcard, and handwave them knowing about 16 languages? Or that they grew up “on the streets”, justifying a hidden juvenile record, skills in hand-to-hand combat, and a soft spot for Youths Just Like Them?

(But enough about Criminal Minds. I’d rather focus on something that actually has thought put into it.)

The same thing is happening here in ASH; from River Heights, we can extrapolate that Nancy is well-off, straight-forward, comfortable largely around adults (think about it — ignoring the usual phone characters, we only meet one person around Nancy’s age in RH, and she hates her), and has a drive to be Somewhere Other than her small town.

Another interesting point is that River Heights is chosen as the backdrop for something that has only happened twice in the series, and only once been done well: a personal revenge story against Nancy herself. Sure, RAN attempted it, but RAN’s story is — if you haven’t read that meta, spoilers — hot, flaming garbage, and the personal revenge plotline is bungled to the extreme, resulting in it not putting across that theme very effectively.

ASH is different; from the very beginning, it’s obvious that whoever is doing this is working off of a person grudge against Nancy specifically — and burned down the town hall in order to implicate her, so they’re not playing around. It’s the reason that the culprit search is so focused, which really benefits the games as well. The question isn’t really “who would want to get rid of Town Hall”, it’s “who hates Nancy enough to burn down a building to get her in trouble”. It makes questioning so much more interesting — and very full of mines, which is Great — when it’s the person, rather than the specific crime, that matters.

The last thing I’ll touch on in this introduction is a question that the fandom has posed both seriously and jokingly many times over the last….almost exactly 10 years (10 years!!! I need to lie down my land!!!) since the game first came out: where are the Hardy Boys? Surely, if there was ever a game where they made sense to appear, it would be this one; their friend is in prison and needs the help of practiced investigators — you’d think that even if Carson wouldn’t think of hiring them (which, as desperate as he was, he totally would have), that Nancy would have given them a call, if only to see if ATAC had anything on the suspects.

There are two reasons why the Hardy Boys don’t appear, from a storytelling perspective (ignoring the issue of how much money it would cost to include them or any other technical considerations), no matter how much I would have liked them here, or how much sense it would have been to at least name drop them, if not make them phone friends.

The first is to keep the game centered on River Heights. Everyone in the game — both suspects and allies — is from River Heights and is a part of the town’s makeup. Our suspects reporter, a politician-slash-ice-cream-store-owner, an ex-detective-turned-antiques-dealer, and a college student born and raised in RH. They represent different facets of the town — the media, the political, the business, and the rising generation — and so each represent a part of the town. Nancy’s allies all fall under the “rising generation” — the “Future of the Town”, if you will — or under the justice system category, with Carson. Even the Chief represents another facet — the law — that can both hurt and help Nancy in turn. By keeping all suspects and allies tied to the town, the mystery and the story can focus on exactly what’s going down in River Heights, without any distractions.

The second reason that the Hardy Boys don’t appear is a little less obvious and a little less cut-and-dried plain fact, but I find it compelling enough to mention here: Ned is present. Other than as a foil in CAP (and an oddity in CRE/VEN), the Hardy Boys don’t appear in the games where Ned is present — it tends to be an either/or thing as far as phone characters are concerned. The why of this is, admittedly, conjecture, but I do find it fascinating that the two (three, technically) don’t intersect — and when they do, it’s to compare them.

Also there are not enough fics of the time Nancy sent Ned to hang out with the Hardy Boys like their house was a vacation kennel and Joe broke Ned’s car. Just saying.

Ned represents River Heights, safety, security, constancy, and comfort — the same things that the other River Heights phone friends (Carson, George, Bess, Hannah) do, albeit to a slightly lesser extent. The Hardy Boys, on the other hand, represent excitement, danger, the unknown, new discoveries, and growth — as do, in different extents, the non-River Heights returning phone friends (Hotchkiss, Savannah, Prudence).

Nancy sits squarely in the middle of these two extremes; she’s from River Heights, but she’s not exactly of River Heights, if you get my meaning. As the games have progressed, they’ve shown Nancy moving further and further away from safe, small, friend-related cases to professional jobs with more than a few people actively trying to kill her. For me, that’s the reason we don’t see the Hardy Boys and Ned mostly in the same games; they represent different spheres of Nancy’s life.

And, had competent writer(s) stayed and the games not, well, imploded due to Penny being one of the worst business people I’ve ever encountered, it would have been interesting to see that push-and-pull dynamic being expressed in Nancy’s relationships. As it is…thank Heaven for AO3, am I right?

Now, let’s refocus on ASH in specific, and talk about its composite parts, shall we?

The Title:

Other than being catchy and evocative (and telling us exactly what crime was committed here — that of arson), Alibi in Ashes is also a notable title for its flexibility in meaning. Like CAP, there are so many different connotations for “fire”, and all of them apply neatly to this game.

First, we’re dealing with the literal fire that sends Town Hall up in smoke, and the inciting incident for our mystery (and Nancy’s jail time). Next, we have the word “fire” standing in for “emergency” — as in “where’s the fire” — and there seems to be a new emergency every five minutes in this game — the fire, Nancy’s arrest, Bess breaking the vase, Carson’s absence, etc.

After that, we venture even further down the abstract hole, and dive into the political — whistleblowing, which is often referred to as “setting a/the fire”. This is partially what Nancy does, and is also what Brenda likes to do, no matter the accuracy of the report. Finally, we stay with Brenda for the term “media wildfire” – which is exactly what Nancy’s arrest (due to Brenda’s machinations) causes.

The title in total — “Alibi in Ashes” — also works in a few different senses. Literally speaking, Nancy’s alibi — and the evidence to prove it — is in the ashes of Town Hall, waiting to be discovered. More metaphorically, due to the work of the culprit, Nancy’s alibi (aka her innocence) is in pieces, in ashes — it’s been destroyed. Finally, in a literary sense, Nancy’s situation can be shown in the “ashes” of a past life — in the “wildfire” that destroyed Alexei’s life and career as a detective.

Its acronym being “ASH” is also pretty awesome, not gonna lie.

It’s the multifaceted nature of the title that really gives it its staying power, catchiness aside. Many titles are just as good as ASH’s, but almost none work harder at having so many possible meanings that are all represented in the text of the game itself.

The Mystery:

Sufficiently chastened into spending more time at home (at least for a few days), Nancy comes home in order to spearhead her team (consisting of Ned, Bess, and George) to victory in the River Heights Clues Challenge. This friendly little competition that included No Cheating Whatsoever on the part of Other Teams heats up, however, when a clue leads Nancy to the historic Town Hall — only to have it erupt in flames minutes later. Coughing but still moving, Nancy escapes the inferno…only to be greeted by the suspicious press, declaring her guilty of setting a beloved building on fire.

Things only get worse when Chief McGinnis shows up the next day, taking Nancy into custody due to political pressure in the town. An arsonist is afoot in River Heights, and unless her friends can dig up some dirt on someone — or everyone — else, it looks like Nancy Drew won’t just be convicted by the press, but by the town that raised her…

As a mystery, ASH has some great personal stakes — for Nancy and for our suspects — and pretty layered motivations. The cast comes alive through their relations to Nancy, especially as she’s unprotected with Carson being in Australia. The shift in the mystery that occurs when Nancy can finally get out and speak to the suspects — and seeing how differently they treat her than how they treated the other members of the cast — really helps to add something new to a mystery that’s tying itself up a bit, and give it the last push of gas it needs to get us to the conclusion.

While it’s not the most involved, complex, or thematic Nancy Drew mystery ever, it does what it needs to do, and does it well – and that’s honestly all I want in a game more devoted (as it should be) to character than it is to a twisty plot.

The Suspects:

ASH has a rather full cast (not because of the size of the suspect pool, but because there are so many people involved that should be mentioned), so let’s get started with our suspects, then move on to our other cast members.

Brenda Carlton, resident Reporter of River Heights News and perpetual thorn in Nancy’s side, is both our first suspect and our culprit, proving once again that the media cannot be trusted. We haven’t had a reporter be our culprit in 21 games (TRT’s Lisa being the previous example), so I guess we were due, but Brenda is a delightfully hateful example of just how bad the media can be, so kudos for that.

And this game didn’t even come out in an election year. How refreshing.

As a suspect, Brenda is awesome. Catty, arrogant, and with a penchant for dressing up as Nancy – titian wig and all! – to perform her dastardly, dastardly acts, the game doesn’t try to be subtle for one second that she’s up to no good. While Nancy and Brenda are equally as interested — and equally as talented, by all appearances – in ferreting out a good story, Brenda takes it a step further and makes one if she can’t find one – and nurses a grudge against Nancy for exposing her for it.

Up next is ice cream shop owner and scaly politician Antonia “Toni” Scallari, a woman with a bright-eyed, smiling public face — and if you don’t like that face, don’t worry…she has others. Toni is your typical politician — pretends to be nice and pleasant, is actually a scheming villain, hates people who do honest work, and thinks that fairness in government is a luxury – but the game does stop shy of making her The Villain, preferring instead to show the crimes she’s committed in her search for money and power and letting her quietly bow out of the election.

So definitely better than she deserved, but at least the game shows her corrupt nature rather than sweeping it under the rug.

As a suspect, Toni would have made a decent villain, but it would have turned the game into a tale of cold political expediency and machinations, rather than hot-blooded revenge, and that would have been a shame. I’m a fan of how the games from about TOT on always have multiple characters who Do Crimes and Bad Things, and Toni is a prime example of a bad guy who just happens not to be The Bad Guy.

Third on the docket of suspects is our resident grumpy old man (and Nancy’s foil in this game) Alexei Markovic, who provides not only some of the best voice work in the game, but whose age is also proof that Nancy’s dad really is the silver-haired DILF we’ve been waiting for.

C’mon, he prosecuted Alexei when Alexei was 20. The youngest Carson could have been was 25 if he booked it through college, took no breaks to study for the LSAT, and blazed through law school — and immediately got a job the day after graduation. And seeing as Alexei has the “old coot” personality and grey hair…well, Carson is probably straddling the line between DILF and GILF.

(I’m so sorry for that aside, guys, it got away from me. I’m equally sorry for the first recorded use of the term “GILF” in the Nancy Drew fandom. It’s not the legacy I wanted, but perhaps the legacy I deserve.)

Back to Alexei!

Alexei is a great character, full-stop, and his VA just improves the experience more. Bitter and jaded, but by no means uncaring or evil or myopic about his troubles, Alexei is, where Nancy is concerned, a bleeding heart whose blood happens to run cold. While he could be bitter about Carson playing a part in taking away everything he had, and thus treat Nancy poorly, he instead empathizes deeply, wants to help, and, in effect, treats her the way that somebody — anybody — should have treated him.

As a suspect, Alexei, as Nancy’s foil in the game, would have been a poor choice; he’s not really there to be suspicious, he’s there to show the stakes of the mystery. No matter if Carson could find a world-class defender to get Nancy off the charges, no matter if they couldn’t even indict her, the stakes aren’t “Nancy will go to jail for Realsies” — the stakes are the town turning its back, she loses those she loves, and is unable to do the job that is the essence of who she is. In other words, if things go poorly, Nancy becomes Alexei.

One of the reasons that Alexei is such a good character is that he recognizes this immediately, and is determined to do all he can to prevent that. Sure, he knows the odds are stacked against him, and the whole town is his enemy, and he won’t get anything for helping out — but at his heart, he’s still the Magnificent Markovic; “no case too big, no fee too small,” remember?

Last of the actual suspects is noted red-light runner and girl in envious, envious green, Deirdre Shannon. Deirdre’s a rather divisive character in the fandom — especially of late — but is a character I stand firmly on the side of great, for a few reasons.

The first is that the games took a 1-dimensional, wouldn’t-cast-a-shadow-if-you-turned-her-sideways character from the Girl Detective books, there purely to make Nancy look good, and instead gave her a fully realized character, sympathetic motivations, and a whip-sharp tongue.

The second is her hilarious banter with the River Heights crew and wry sense of humor, which would be enough to make her a favorite character of mine alone.

Annoyed by constant, unflattering comparisons to Nancy from her parents (her father also being a lawyer in River Heights), she’s amused when Nancy’s arrested — though, if you read in between the lines, never suspects Nancy actually set the fire nor thinks Nancy will ultimately get the blame — though not as amused at Bess’ spying on her. She harbors a not-secret crush on Ned and enjoys spending time with him, girlfriend or no girlfriend — though it should be noted that even Ned isn’t spared her sharp tongue.

As a culprit, Deirdre would have been the obvious choice for writers who were the caliber of…well, of the Girl Detective series writers, but thankfully we’re on a higher playing field with Nik, Cathy, and the rest of the crew behind ASH. Deirdre is a snarky observer, but that’s as far as her ‘evil’ goes — and looking at her methodology for solving the Clues Challenge clues (and her commentary on her compatriots) is a joy — real detective work, indeed!

After our suspects, let’s talk about our players on the side of Right — or at least, on the side of Nancy — starting with the girl detective herself (as we will for all of the Nancy Games). ASH provides a better look at Nancy than we’ve had before (as befitting the first of the Nancy Games)

Nancy Drew is our main character, sometimes-protagonist, and at times villain protagonist — especially in the eyes of our culprits — when it comes to unearthing long-buried hurts and wrongs. Stuck in jail for a crime she didn’t commit due to political and community pressure, for the first time, the girl detective can’t really do anything by herself, and is relegated to “phone friend” while her boyfriend and childhood friends are running around frantically trying to introduce reasonable doubt in a frame-up par excellence.

Our source in SPY refers to Nancy as an autodidact — one who teaches themselves — and that’s a perfect summation of Nancy’s character. She’s no museum expert, nor cowgirl, nor entomologist, nor any other hat she’s put on — but she can fake it if someone hums a few bars. Her other big pluses as a detective are (once again according to the source in SPY) in interrogation and code/puzzle breaking — and the differences in the questions that Ned et al pose and the questions Nancy poses to our suspects does bear out the first point, at the very least. Her code and puzzle skills are the usual fallback for the games’ mysteries, more so in the modern games than in older ones (which is both a good and bad thing, depending on what types of puzzles you like).

In ASH, we learn about a key trait of Nancy’s — self-sufficiency, and, more importantly, the limits of that self-sufficiency. Able to fake most things until she makes it, Nancy is finally put in a situation where she can’t do anything by herself, and it’s a source of frustration and impatience to her that overrides other feelings (“Also, I’m in jail, and I would really like to get out,” anyone?). It’s rather stunning that Nancy goes from a triumphant Girl in the Dress to stuck in a police station, relying on the phone and her own intuition, and it does some good for her character exposure and development.

Next up is Edward “Ned” Nickerson, erstwhile boyfriend and long-suffering Emerson College student, Ned is part of an honors fraternity and is in River Heights for the Clues Challenge — and to see his girlfriend, of course. While his attempts to be Detective Ned have really only resulting in finding the keys that were in his pocket, Ned is nevertheless quite useful in getting information out of Deirdre (and is responsible for one of the funniest bits of dialogue in the game that’s not spoken directly by Deirdre).

According to the files from SPY, Ned’s defining characteristics are his honestly and his loyalty, both of which mean that he’s the ideal ‘phone friend’ when Nancy’s in a pickle — and means of course he’d be front and center, ready to do anything he needs to in order to help clear Nancy’s name. His main role in the game, however (and very interesting, as one of 6 or so Neirdre shippers in the fandom!) is to be the object of Deirdre’s window-shopping affections and to be made fun of (good-naturedly, of course) by his friends.

Because of his relationship (such as it is) with an overtly antagonistic character, Ned’s a lot of fun in ASH. I feel like he gets a lot of characterization that he often lacks in most other games (excepting CAP and SPY, of course), and it just makes me like him more.

George Fayne is also here to help — though, irritatingly, not required the same way Bess and Ned are — with her knowledge of technology and impeccable Togo-watching skills. George is a great character in the OG Nancy Drew books – the ultra-modern, straightforward, clumsy flapper, to contrast Bess’ more genteel sensibilities and Nancy’s down to earth, practical, yet fashionable nature — and one of the greatest disservices that the 60s rewrites, post-60s ND books, and, yes, the game series has done to the ND universe is to turn her into a “hurr-durr tomboy because name George like boy name” sort of mockery of her original character.

And no, I’m not crediting her as “Georgia”, because that was not her name in the books. Her name was George, full stop — once again, quite fashionable of her to have a “boy’s” name in the 20s/30s — named after her grandfather. You may fight me on this, but you will not win.

George is noted to have above-average skills in mechanical engineering, and indeed creates a jammer to stop Brenda’s broadcast in the game, but is otherwise…well, kind of pushed to the side in favor of Bess and Ned, her enmity with Deirdre notwithstanding. I’ll address this issue more in The Un-Favorite and The Fix, but a few tweaks while developing the game would have gone a long way towards defining George as a character — we’re ignoring MED wholesale, don’t worry — and helping the gameplay be a bit more varied.

George’s maternal cousin, Elizabeth “Bess” Marvin, on the other hand, is basically required to get what you need to know from Toni, but is very much not the favorite person of Alexei, due to her breaking an antique vase upon coming into his shop.

When a vase can survive the Nazis but not Bess Marvin, it seems a shame that Bess didn’t go to France with Nancy during DAN. They would have found that secret room with the artwork in like a minute and a half.

Bess is mentioned to lack judgment (her reveal of George’s crush on the snack shop boy illustrates that pretty well) but to have above-average intuition and, while manipulated easily enough, is too honest for that manipulation to really cause any lasting harm. Because of her sweet, open nature — and her open pocketbook when it comes to ice cream — she’s a favorite of Toni’s, and uses that in order to try to clear Nancy’s name and discover just what illegal, corrupt pies Toni has her grubby little politician hands in.

Going a little less friendly and a little less college-aged for our next helper, we turn to Chief McGinnis, a grumpy pushover of a cop who’s really only important for letting Nancy walk around a Police Station and solve a crime while under arrest because he didn’t wanna do his job, and for a hilarious diatribe about Pancake City.

Seriously, I go and watch that scene every so often when I need a good laugh. ASH has some fabulous comic writing, and McGinnis’ rant is a prime example.

McGinnis is pretty ineffectual as a helper, but he does allow for the first 2/3 of the game to happen by locking Nancy up (“You cannot leave jail! This is a very basic concept!), and for that, we salute him.

Rounding out our cast of Nancy-supporters is Carson Drew, who is (frustratingly, to him) stuck in Australia when all this goes down, and thus cannot use his legal prowess to free her.

Of course, as a prosecutor, I’m not sure how much help he’d be anyway, but hey, a lawyer is a lawyer is a lawyer, at least in the ever-wise eyes of HER Interactive.

Carson’s really just there (or not there, as the case may be) to explain how Nancy can be locked up with such a powerful lawyer father, honestly, but he gets some good lines in, so we’ll forgive it. He’s also there to round out the “River Heights Cast”, but I can’t help feeling that, if we were gonna have another Drew in this game, I would have taken the puppy over the golf ball. #Togo4Ever

The Favorite:

There’s a lot to love in ASH, so I’m going to focus on the biggest things. Suffice to say if a part of the game isn’t in this section but isn’t in the Un-Favorite, I love it.

I’m going to start off just by saying that the dialogue in ASH is wonderful. We’ve got distinct individual voices, sarcasm galore, enough cattiness to fuel the Halle Berry movie, and great interpersonal work, especially with Alexei.

One of the places Nik truly shines is dialogue, and a small-town environment like River Heights really shows off his skill. I sometimes hear the charge that “no one talks like this!!” leveled against the Nik games but, honestly, I talk to people every day who speak similarly to Nik’s characters, allowing for the differences in written and spoken speech, and so do most people I know. Allusions, analogies, metaphors, and aphorisms aren’t just for English class — they’re part of speaking well.

If you really wanna see dialogue where “no one talks like this,” look at the early ND games. FIN is a particularly bad offender, but SCK and STFD aren’t much better.

My favorite puzzle in the game is the letter swap puzzle inside of Scoop, by far. Sure, I enjoy other puzzles — Alexei’s number box, fingerprinting, the suspect board — immensely, and have a blast doing them, but I can spend hours figuring out old quotes on that aqua background and not notice the time passing one jot. It’s fun, references old games, and is exactly the kind of puzzle that gets me excited anyway, and I love it to pieces.

My favorite moment in the game is probably the moment Nancy takes control and goes and talks to Toni, oddly enough. The stark difference in what Toni says about Nancy while she’s in the station to what she says to her face is like a brick wall to the chest, and is, every time, the moment when you see exactly how River Heights turned on Alexei so completely as to push him out of his job and into the antique business. It’s a moment of almost stomach-sinking disgust, and I absolutely adore the game for not pulling its punches and instead keeping true to one of its major themes — that you need to see who people are in the dark, not when they’re facing you.

In the light of day, Alexei is just a cantankerous old man; Toni is a smiling, motherly ice cream store owner, Brenda is a hard-hitting reporter, and Deirdre is a vapid Queen Bee type. Under the cover of darkness, however, we see Alexei’s charity and heart, Toni’s corruption and two-faced nature, Brenda’s unethical and illegal means to her ends, and Deirdre’s soft center. And I love the game for pointing out the world of difference it makes to see what someone truly is.

For my last point, there are two characters are of note in this game that I love for very different reasons.

The first is Alexei, who is the inspiration behind the title of the meta. There’s something incredibly compelling about Alexei’s down-to-earth nature and the way he deals with being dealt the poorest hand in the world without ever dipping into “woe is me” or any other self-indulgent crap. Insatiably curious, bright, and caustic, Alexei feels like the perfect person to sit down, drink a cup of something warm, and talk about puzzles, antiques, and harsh truths with.

He’s a character who watched his entire life fall apart with one bad person’s actions — “one time, just once, I tried to speak truth to power, and man if I didn’t pay the price” — but still had it in him to keep going, even if it wasn’t what he was doing before. He went from being the town’s golden boy to a pariah, and yet still looks after River Heights and its history, even becoming the curator of the River Heights Museum (when it opens). The difference between his reaction to being falsely accused to, say, Noisette Tornade’s (DAN) reaction to being “falsely” accused is huge and, I think, rather inspiring.

The second is Deirdre Shannon, if you couldn’t tell by my gushing about her above, and, can I just say, I love everything about her. There’s a temptation to assume at first blush that she’s your average boy-stealing popular rich girl a la WAC, but actually looking at her tells a different story.

Sure, the rich part is true — but so is Nancy, and from the looks of their houses and all the trips/vacations they do, the Marvins and Faynes seem pretty well off as well. She shares the tendency for a sharp tongue with Nancy as well (as befitting her status as Nancy’s foil in DED, stay tuned!). Deirdre also doesn’t qualify as popular — her two “friends” that she hangs out with in ASH for the Clues Challenge are still in their “free trial”, and aren’t really her friends.

And her feelings for Ned? While she openly flirts with him (even if Ned doesn’t get it until the girls tell him), Deirdre isn’t looking to actually cause damage (if only because she sees Ned as completely unobtainable), and is up-front about everything she does to Nancy’s face. Putting yourself in her shoes, she’s a bright girl, in love with a boy who is the definition of out-of-reach, is constantly (and negatively) compared to the boy’s girlfriend, and feels stuck in her small town, desperate to move beyond the boredom. In other words, in any other story, she’s the protagonist. It just so happens — as she’s acutely aware — not to be her story. And that’s the kind of character that it’s impossible for me not to love.

And speaking of things impossible to love…

The Un-Favorite:

My biggest problem with ASH, as was mentioned above, is the fact that George is relegated mechanically and interpersonally to the “unimportant” bin. Nancy, Bess, and Ned all have suspects that like and don’t like them, while all George gets is a note that her and Deirdre particularly don’t get along — no extrapolation, no explanation. It makes the decision to include her as a playable character feel a bit like a last-minute decision, like Bess and Ned were planned and George was supposed to be watching Togo until the very end when she makes the jammer or something.

My least favorite puzzle in the game has got to be the stacking of the boxes and crawling towards the exit at the start to escape the fire; it’s a time-sensitive puzzle, which are usually my least favorite, and takes the mechanics of Renate’s bag puzzle and small visual distinctions, which we’ve already noted in the last meta are not particularly my jam either. I wouldn’t replace or get rid of it, it’s just my least favorite. I tend to start my game from a save I have after the puzzle — while I have to refresh on the opening occasionally, it’s better than the frustration from the combined puzzle.

I don’t have a least favorite moment from the game, to be quite honest, so let’s move on to the last section of this meta.

The Fix:

So how would I fix Alibi in Ashes?

The big thing I would change would to be to ensure that each member of Team Danger should have one culprit that likes them and one culprit that hates especially them. Nancy already has Alexei for her plus and Brenda for her minus, and Bess should keep Toni and Alexei, respectively, but both Ned and George need one more. Luckily, with four friends and four suspects, they’ll divide up evenly very easily.

My fix would be to have Ned keep Deirdre as his plus and give him Toni as his minus (local business owners usually don’t like football players for being rowdy and taking up a lot of seats, plus he’s Nancy’s boyfriend and staunchest defender).

George, meanwhile, keeps Deirdre as her minus (though flesh it out a bit more — what exactly went wrong there?) and gains Brenda as her plus. Not only would this make the endgame where she creates the jammer a little more interesting, I’d note that George and Brenda have a bit in common, due to Brenda’s technical and mechanical prowess that we see throughout the game. Throw in something with George having done a technical internship with the River Heights broadcasting network or something during high school, and we’d get a slightly different side of Brenda, even though George still dislikes her privately.

Just fixing this issue would be enough to where nothing in ASH would stand out as a real negative, but for my second, smaller fix, I’d make the friends able to call each other to change off, instead of having to call Nancy, then have her call the other person. That slows the game down and is needlessly clunky, and I’m still not quite sure why they did it.

Once those two things are fixed, there’s nothing in the way of ASH being a truly excellent game. Sure, it’s not as thematic as the few games preceding it, but it’s not supposed to be — it’s supposed to have an entertaining mystery while showing us a little more of who Nancy really is and why she does what she does, and on those (and most other) fronts, ASH is an incredibly solid, enjoyable game that I replay whenever I get the chance.

#nancy drew #clue crew #nancy drew games #alibi in ashes #nancy drew meta #long post #my meta #ASH #video games

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