#at this point i do not think it is physically possible for francis forever to be knocked out of the top spot. take from that what you will

[wyvernwinding]

1. francis forever; mitski 2. remember when; wallows 3. on melancholy hill; gorillaz 4. a beginning song; the decemberists 5. featherstone; the paper kites 6. fair; the amazing devil

tagged by @warstrategies to share my top 4 on repeat except i shared my top 6 because i think featherstone and fair really add to the picture of how sane and normal i am <3

tagging @solareidolon​ and @paintbrushyy​ if you would both like <3

[k-s-morgan]

What would you say would be the great but rarely used, mentioned (?) Will's quotes about Hannibal that show his depth of feeling for him and show that Will does love Hannibal. I know the most frequently used ones, but what do you think are the underappreciated moments?

What a great question! Here are the ones I recall and that I rarely see mentioned. If anyone who’s reading this can think of more, please share them too! 

You’re supposed to be my paddle. It’s said at the very start of S1, and it shows the trust Will already puts into Hannibal, which is amazing, considering how hostile he is to people in general and especially to psychiatrists.

I don't know what's worse. Believing I did it or believing you did it... and did this to me. I felt so betrayed by you … I trusted you. I needed to trust you. Will is playing on Hannibal’s emotions here, but I think what he says is absolute truth. He sounds so wistful and sad - he really feels all this. It’s not the idea of Hannibal being a murderer that hit him hard, it’s that Hannibal betrayed him.

You've never condemned me. Not even under oath. You've always been my friend. Same here: he’s playing Hannibal, but what he says rings true. There is once again wistfulness in Will’s voice - Hannibal was his friend and it meant the world to him, but now he doesn’t know what to think. He doesn’t understand why Hannibal is trying to help him after putting him in prison.

I have to deal with you. And my feelings about you. Sounds so deeply personal and romantic, in my opinion.

I envy you your hate. Makes it much easier when you know how to feel. Will confessing to Peter that he can’t hate Hannibal no matter what he did, and hence he can’t bring himself to kill him even now.

Where else would I go? This is so striking - Will confessing that Hannibal is the only person he can confide to, his safety net and in a way,  his home.

Will: I tried to murder Dr. Lecter.

Margot: Did he have it coming?

Will: What do you think?

Margot: Can't say that I know.

Will: Neither can I. - This is a lot, coming from Will. Hannibal betrayed him, killed Abigail, murdered who knows how many innocent people, including Beverly, and yet Will isn’t sure Hannibal deserved having Matthew sent after him.

Hannibal is good enough for you. Considering the context and the emphasis he makes when he spits these words at Alana, he’s jealous, and this jealousy is about Hannibal and his affections. 

Could you be happy there? This is what Will asks when Hannibal tells him that if he’s ever arrested, he’ll be living in his Mind Palace. It’s such a simple but powerful question because Will knows Hannibal might end up arrested because of him, and he’s worried about his happiness. He needs to hear that Hannibal won’t be miserable. 

Hannibal: You would deny me my life.

Will: Not your life, no. - Will is no longer capable of killing Hannibal, and it’s important for him to make Hannibal understand this. 

We have a mutually unspoken pact to ignore the worst of one another in order to continue enjoying the best. - Almost a love confession, the same one as “Because he was my friend and because I wanted to run away with him.”

Now, the entire brilliant Primavera is a big and loud love letter from Will to Hannibal. Here are my favorite quotes (I’m changing pronouns in Will’s discussions with fake!Abigail because he’s talking to himself there).

He left me to die... But I didn't. He was supposed to take me with him. We were all supposed to leave together. He made a place for us. Why did I lie to him? The wrong thing being the right thing to do was too ugly a thought. He gave me a chance to take it all back, and I just kept lying. He wants me to find him. After everything he's done, I would still go to him? Yes. - You can see his mental struggle, him being torn between love, guilt, and resentment. 

Later:

This is what Hannibal sees when he steps inside the frescoed walls of his own mind ...But this isn't Hannibal, it's just where he begins. Beyond this, far and complex, light and dark, is the vast structure of his mind. A thousand rooms, miles of corridors. Everything he remembers, wonderfully and fearfully reconstructed. Hannibal is well armed against the physical world, but there are places within himself he can't safely go. But I can. If I find them. And that's how I'll find him. - Will is so incredibly reverent and admiring here, I love it.

I do feel closer to Hannibal here. God only knows where I would be without him ... I still want to go with him? Yes. - This says everything: Will acknowledges how crucial Hannibal is for him, how he can’t imagine himself without him now, and how much he craves his presence.

Will: You couldn't catch him when he was just a kid, what makes you think you're going to catch him now?

Pazzi: You.

A small, polite scoff from Will, unable to take his eyes off the small stairwell to the catacombs.

Will: What makes you think I want to catch him? ...  You don’t know whose side I’m on. - Will openly admitting to a police officer that he’s siding with Hannibal.

Hannibal... I forgive you. - One of the most heartfelt things Will has ever said to him.

Chiyoh: How do you know Hannibal?

Will: One could argue, intimately. - This come across as Will flaunting their relationship to Chiyoh, who he perceives as a possible threat.

A part of me will always want to [slip away with Hannibal]. - I’m forever amazed at the things Will keeps saying to Jack.

Please. You need to get over yourself, whatever self this is, Bedelia. You expect us to believe you somehow got lost in the hot darkness of Hannibal Lecter's mind? - I seriously can’t believe Will said this. Could he sound any more jealous?

You helped Mason Verger find us. - I love how he refers to them as a team in front of Alana, even though Hannibal literally tried to saw his head open when they were found. Sounds like Will is resentful of the fact that they were interrupted o_O 

I have to see Hannibal. Very simple words said to Jack in E8, but their meaning and the way Will phrased it... Will doesn’t need Hannibal’s help with the case, we know it because we saw him easily reconstruct the crime hours before that. But he’s not even really hiding it well! He doesn’t say, “I have to discuss this with Hannibal,” he says, “I have to see him.” There is a palpable difference between the two.

All conversations with Bedelia, but especially this jealous gem:

Poor Dr. Du Maurier, swallowed whole. Suffering inside Hannibal Lecter's bowels for what must have felt like an eternity. You didn't lose yourself, Bedelia, you just crawled so far up his ass you couldn't be bothered ... Have you been to see him? 

In the next conversation again:

Will: Have you had any contact with him? -  Jealous Will is the best.

I'm not fortune's fool. I'm yours. Will looks at Hannibal, clearly expecting him to react to his teasing, and then he’s so affronted when Hannibal ignores him.

The divine punishment of the sinner mirrors the sin being punished. Chilton languished unrecognized until Hannibal the Cannibal. He wanted the world to know his face. (And now he doesn’t have any). - This sounds like Chilton was Will’s courting gift to Hannibal. Instead of choosing more valid reasons for his actions, he focused on Chilton’s desire for popularity and him mocking Hannibal. 

Hannibal said those words. To me. - Will is so proud to be seen as worthy by Hannibal, and he can’t help but throw it into Francis’ face.

Hannibal: Save yourself, kill them all?

Will: I don't know if I can save myself. And maybe that’s just fine. - To me, this sounds like Will confesses he doesn’t know if he can “kill them all”, meaning Hannibal first and foremost, and that at this point, he doesn’t even mind. The long stare their exchange afterward speaks volumes about their feelings.

[ssajj]

Francis Forever

Five years ago, you ran away from Spencer. When a case brings him back into your life, you both realize how unfinished you left things. 

3.4k, fem!reader

Warnings for the past death of Y/N’s family, mental health struggles

It’s stupidly hard to breathe, even more difficult to not start cursing out your therapist, who had been the one to recommend this trip. Go home, she’d said. Tie up the loose ends that keep threatening to strangle you. Well, you’re here now and everything feels worse. But you’re sick of running, so you push your shoulders back and walk into the dingy check-in room at the motel you picked. Five minutes later, you walk back out, key digging into the palm of your hand. 

It’s been almost five years since the last time you were here. You’d held out as long as you could, hesitant to leave him, even if it was killing you. He’d noticed, of course he had. He was too smart and caring not to, and so he’d been the one to buy you the train ticket. 

You’d promised to call. 

You hadn’t. 

The last time you’d met up with her, your therapist had brought up the idea of calling him. You’d promptly gone into a panic attack, whimpering that you couldn’t see him, not after you’d run away from him, ignoring that his worst fear was abandonment, stomping on his fragile heart in an attempt to save yours. Once she’d settled you enough that the tears were drying, she agreed that you wouldn’t have to see him if you didn’t want to. 

You miss him, though. You do. You think about him more often than you want to admit, wondering how he’s doing, if he’s eating enough, if he’s still in the same job, if he thinks about you, if he’s happy, if he’s moved on in a way you haven’t managed yet. There isn’t a good point in wondering all of those things, especially considering you have no plans on seeing him while you’re here. In fact, you’re aiming to leave the motel room as little as you possibly can. 

In your sleep, you dream about him. 

“Y/N!” Spencer laughs, grabbing you at the waist and sweeping you off your feet. He spins you around like you’re a princess. This has quickly become a habit: he’s gone for a long case and then smothers you in affection when he comes back. You’ve already told him that he doesn’t need to feel guilty for being gone for so long. So far, he hasn’t been listening. 

Taking advantage of your sudden height, you kiss the top of his nose, liking the blush that spreads across his cheeks. He puts you down after another second. You stay close to him. Even if you don’t like it when he feels bad, you really did miss him. 

“How was the case?” You ask. 

Now that he isn’t touching you, he fiddles with the end of your scarf. Throughout your relationship, you’ve noticed that he likes being close. Some days he’s okay with physical touch and some days he isn’t; regardless, he’s always either hovering near you or playing with an item of your clothing when you’re together. It should be stifling, would be if it was anyone else, but it’s terribly endearing when it’s him. There’s a gentle air to everything he does, the love evident throughout his words and actions. You don’t know if you deserve it. Hell, one of your worst fights ever with him was about that exact topic. Even if you don’t deserve it though, it makes you feel safe. He makes you feel safe. 

He pulls a little at the scarf. “Good. We got him before he could kill his last victim.”

You don’t know how Spencer sees the things he does at work. Every once in awhile, you’ll watch the press conferences the team does, look up the cases they’re on or they solved previously. Bile always rises in your throat. You love him, you love his team, but you hate his job. You hate that he’s in danger, that he could end up like your family did, dead and alone. He knows this. He also knows that you’d never ask him to quit. 

He doesn’t seem to be aware that you’re thinking too hard, since he keeps talking. “Rossi’s having a family dinner at his house tomorrow night. He said I’m legally obligated to bring you.”

You snort. “Legally obligated?”

“The logic wasn’t very sound,” he agrees, letting go of your scarf to brush the hair that was falling into your face. “I agree with his premise, though. You should come. They all miss you.”

“Alright,” you say, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder. “I miss them too.”

Three days after you get to the city, you leave the motel room for the first time, bundled up in an oversized sweatshirt and jeans. Normally, you try to dress up a little more, although you weren’t one to make yourself uncomfortable to look cute. You respect the hell out of those girls, though. They always look bomb. 

Walking around the city was nicer than you thought it was going to be. The weather was just as you remembered, crisp but not cold enough to make you shiver. You end up at a park, feet swinging back and forth. The bench isn’t terribly comfortable. You don’t mind, though. It’s been near impossible for you to relax, so sitting here is the closest you’ve been able to get. It looks like it’ll start raining soon and other people start clearing out of the area. You don’t move, though. Once it falls, you let it hit your skin, let it cool the burning panic that’s been lying dormant since you arrived. 

The second week in, the person in the room next to you gets murdered. You wake up to a scream, can hear something banging around. An idiot would join in on the chaos, would get themselves killed. That isn’t you, though, so you wait quietly, grab the knife you keep at your nightstand. Five minutes after you hear a door slam, you figure you’re safe enough to make a phone call. Red and blue lights come not long after, making you kiss any opportunity of a good night’s sleep goodbye. 

After they interview you, you can hear whispers about this turning serial. You know where you used to live, you know the area, you know who they’re going to call. You bow your head and do your best to mentally prepare for this. 

The BAU is there within an hour. Hotch sees you first. His eyes widen, only for a second. He’s too much of a professional for your presence to throw him off your game, even if you do see him glance back. When he approaches you, only JJ is with him. She has a stronger reaction to seeing you. 

“Y/N?” She asks, frowning. “What are you doing here?”

“Reid isn’t here,” Hotch tells you before you can answer. “He’s at another crime scene.”

You don’t know how you feel about that. Every emotion within you is at war. You wring your hands together, looking down in your lap. “My therapist suggested that I visit,” you shrug. “Exposure therapy or something.” They ask you the same questions that the officers ask you. You’ve never seen them mid investigation before, but they’re nothing like how they were back when you were still dating Spencer. Or maybe this was just because they hated you now. 

Hotch walks off first, phone held tightly against his ear. That leaves you awkwardly hovering near JJ, who hasn’t taken her eyes off of you this entire time. 

“What do you want to say?” 

She flattens her lips, an expression Spencer told you a lot about. It was her angry face. “He’s going to find out that you’re back.”

“I know.”

“Were you going to tell him that you’re back?”

You shake your head. “I’m not staying, JJ. Like I said, this was my therapist’s idea.”

The disappointed look she gives you makes you want to rip your heart out and let her stomp on it. 

“You need to talk to me!” Spencer is trying not to shout. You can tell by his posture, the way his voice catches at the end. “I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on!”

You’re angry. You’re angrier than you have any right to be. You know he’s just doing the best he can. Instead of saying any of that, you just keep yelling. “It’s none of your business!”

“You’re my girlfriend. I love you.”

The words make you flinch. You see him go completely still, like he just lost against Medusa. He probably thought Medusa was preferable to you right now. He’s hurt, you know he is. You’d never flinched away from him before, never had a reason to. You still don’t. Not a good one, anyway. 

“I need to go,” you choke out. He lets you go without protest. 

It takes eight hours for Spencer to show up outside your hotel room. Either Hotch and JJ kept your return a secret until the team was done for the night, or he knew and wasn’t allowed to leave. 

He knocks on your door. You hesitate for a beat too long before answering, opening it just enough to let him inside. 

“Y/N,” he breathes. You don’t look at him. You can’t. Earlier, you’d promised yourself that you wouldn’t run from this or cry over it. Your therapist better be god damn proud of you for this one. “You’re here.”

“Yeah.“ 

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see him start to reach for you. He stops himself, his hand falling back to his side. “When did you get here?”

“The beginning of the month,” you tell him. “I don’t know if JJ or Hotch mentioned, but it’s a part of my therapy. Coming back for a little bit.”

He finally finds the nerve to touch you, tugging at your sleeve. “Why won’t you look at me?”

You take a deep breath before forcing your gaze up. He’s just as beautiful as you remember, almost angelic. It makes you want to crumble on the spot, especially once you register the heartbroken look on his face. 

“Why are you here?” You finally ask. 

When you were eight, your entire family was murdered. It’s something you wait months to tell Spencer, once he starts bringing up taking you to meet his mother. 

“Oh, god,” he says after a moment. He gathers you in his arms, holds you as you cry into him, wipes away your tears when you finally pull away, kisses your cheeks, shushes you when you try to apologize. 

“Thank you for trusting me.”

Spencer is sitting on your bed, legs curled underneath him. He tries to get you to sit with him, but you refuse. Something about standing during this makes you feel less like you’ve lost any and all control. 

“You never called.”

You close your eyes. “I know.”

“I wanted to let you have your space, I just didn’t-” he cuts himself off momentarily. “I didn’t think you were going to leave me.”

“I’m sorry.” It’s not enough. It isn’t close to enough. “I wasn’t strong enough to come back. I’m a coward. And selfish. I shouldn’t have run like that.”

When you open your eyes, he’s blurry. You belatedly realize that you’re starting to cry, notice that he is too. 

“It’s okay to run. I just wanted you to talk to me, or come back, or something. I don’t know what I did wrong.”

You start to say that he did nothing, but he shakes his head. 

“No,” he protests. “Not nothing. I didn’t help you. I knew you were struggling, I knew your PTSD was flaring up again, and I did the wrong things. I let you pull away, I didn’t fight hard enough for you to go back to therapy.” He takes a few deep breaths. “When the love of your life is struggling to stand upright, you let her lean against you. And I was too busy with work to be there for you.”

You sit down on the bed. 

It’s incredibly obvious how much Spencer loves his mother. He talks about her constantly, updates you on her life, and worries endlessly in the periods where she isn’t doing well. So before you ever meet her, you know that her opinion matters enough to him that it could end your relationship. 

“Y/N?” You hear him call for you, poking his head into the room. “Are you ready? Oh, you look really nice.”

It’s about time to leave. You’re in the hotel room, having just gotten ready to go meet Diana. It took you an embarrassingly long time to pick your outfit, since you really wanted to impress her. If she doesn’t like you, you’re fully prepared to start freaking out.

“I’m ready,” you say with almost no confidence. 

He must hear the nerves in your voice, since he comes fully into the room, approaching you and putting his arms around your waist. “She’ll love you.”

You’re not sure if you believe him. You go with him anyway, watching him chatting with all the nurses as you waved awkwardly at them. After a few minutes of this, you’re finally standing in front of Diana Reid. 

She pulls you into a hug before you can say anything. “Y/N!”

“Mom, don’t smother her,” Spencer chides gently, pulling you away from her. You smile a little when you can see a blush growing across his face. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Diana says, grinning. “It’s just so nice to finally meet you. He talks about you all the time, you know?”

You smirk, looking back at your boyfriend. “Oh, really?”

“Shut up,” he mutters, but there’s no heat behind it. 

Before long, Spencer has to leave the two of you alone so he can go talk to one of Diana’s doctors. You can tell he’s hesitant about it, but he kisses both of you on the top of your heads before he leaves. 

“He’s happy,” she tells you. “He’s really happy with you.” Now you’re the one blushing. “I really love him,” you confess. “I don’t know what I did to deserve someone as amazing as your son, but I feel incredibly lucky.”

She grabs your hand and squeezes it. “Thank you for looking after him.”

Spencer gets called back to work before you two can finish talking. 

“Please stay here until the case is over,” he takes your hand, squeezing it tight. “I’m not letting you slip away again, okay? If you don’t want me anymore, you’re going to have to say it to my face.”

You don’t say anything. A small smile tugs at Spencer’s lips. He kisses your forehead before he runs off. 

“You know, I never pictured Reid settling down,” Morgan tells you. 

You’re all at JJ’s house for Henry’s birthday. The two of you had snatched up a table early in the afternoon, lounging as you watch everyone. So far, you’ve seen Will give JJ a piggyback ride, Penelope down two jello shots before declaring that a life of crime and alcohol just wasn’t for her, Emily and Rossi fight over who has more money, Hotch finger painting with Jack, and Henry chase Spencer around the yard. Morgan’s drinking a beer, you’re drinking a juice box. 

You hum. “Do you think he’s happy?”

“Who?” Morgan looks over at you. “Reid? Duh. He’s happier than I’ve ever seen him.”

“We’ve been fighting lately.”

“It happens,” Morgan shrugs. “You should see Will and JJ go at it. That is not a woman I’d want to piss off. It’ll be fine, Y/N.”

You nod, even as this feels like the beginning of the end. 

The BAU doesn’t think you’re in any danger, although that doesn’t do much to soothe you. All you can picture is your family, how were all supposed to be safe, how you came home on a Thursday after school and found your entire world bleeding and lifeless on the floor. You think Spencer’s aware of this. He messages you constantly, sending updates on the case as well as cute animal pictures. The latter makes you laugh, even though it’s a little wet. He’s trying to be here for you.

You know the second the case ends. Twenty minutes later, Spencer is back at your door. 

“I didn’t know if you’d still be here,” he says breathlessly, and you realize he must have rushed over as fast as possible. 

“We have stuff to talk about,” you shrug. 

The two of you sit on the bed and face each other. It’s silent for a long beat before either of you speak. 

“I miss you.” Spencer talks first. “Y/N. I think- I think you’re it for me. And it’s okay if you don’t want to be with me. I’ll respect it. But I want to try again.”

You make yourself keep looking at him. “I hurt you.”

He nods. “We hurt each other, I think. I’m not saying we don’t have things to work on. We do. But I’m not ready to let you go again.”

The day after you leave Spencer, your phone never stops ringing. He’s usually the one calling, but there’s a few from Morgan and Garcia, too. You don’t answer any of them, choosing instead to sit alone and cry so hard you throw up. 

When he kisses you for the first time in years, it feels familiar in the best possible way. He always kisses with his entire body, pressing up against you and framing your face with his hands. He holds you like you’re something special, like you’re a priceless treasure he’s protecting with his life. Tonight, you aren’t going to do anymore more than kiss. You’re both feeling vulnerable and uncertain, your second chance at a relationship newly established. You don’t need it to go any further, though. You already feel happy enough to burst at the seems. 

Now that you’re back together, you promise each other to be better about working through bad days together. Needless to say, you’re both prone to bad days. 

You haven’t officially moved back to the area yet, but you’ve been spending a lot of time there, thankful that you’re able to do a large portion of your job on your computer. 

“Y/N!” You hear him shout when he comes into his apartment. You suck in a breath, taking note of the panic that’s laced through his voice. You put your computer down, rushing out into the living room. He practically slams into you, pulling you into a hug and picking you up. Instinctively, you wrap your legs around him to keep your balance.

“Hey, hey,” you soothe. “What’s going on?”

“Family annihilator. I couldn’t…I couldn’t stop thinking about you and I just-”

Your blood chills and you both hold onto each other a little tighter. “I know, sweetheart.”

He carries you to the bed, where he gently lays you down before settling his body on top of yours. You press kisses to the skin you can reach until he relaxes. 

You fall asleep in each other’s arms. 

“I’m having a bad day,” you whisper into the phone. It’s a weekend that you’re home, even if its been feeling less like home lately. 

“What’s wrong, love?”

It’s hard to keep your voice from rising to a wail. “I don’t know.”

He tries to comfort you over the phone, but it’s only somewhat effective. When you two hang up, you’re still feeling weird and empty. He texts you periodically, making sure that you aren’t spiriling again and calling you the time you don’t answer him. 

The next morning, he surprises you by showing up at your apartment. He sweeps you into a hug, closing the door behind him and resting his chin on the top of your head. You feel yourself melt into his arms. “What are you doing here?” “You needed me,” he says, like it’s that simple. Maybe it is. “So I’m here.”

Two months later, you wake up next to him, running your fingers through his hair. It’s a fluffy disaster, making it a bit of a task to not get your hand tangled up in it. You’d hardly want him to wake up because you were yanking his hair out accidentally. 

He wakes up not long after you do, a smile already playing on his lips. “Morning,” he mumbles. 

“Hey.”

“I love you,” he whispers, taking your hand out of his hair and holding it. 

“Love you more,” you tell him, smiling when he shakes his head. 

“Impossible.”

[pope-francis-quotes]

10th April >> (@ZenitEnglish) #PopeFrancis #Pope Francis Presides Over Celebration of Passion of the Lord. Full Text of Homily by Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa, O.F.M. Cap

Pope Francis on Good Friday presided over the celebration of the Passion of the Lord in the Vatican Basilica.

The Preacher of the Pontifical House, Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa, O.F.M. Cap., delivered the homily, which is provided in its entirety below, provided by the Vatican.

“I HAVE PLANS FOR YOUR WELFARE AND NOT FOR WOE”

St. Gregory the Great said that Scripture “grows with its readers”, cum legentibus crescit.[1] It reveals meanings always new according to the questions people have in their hearts as they read it. And this year we read the account of the Passion with a question—rather with a cry—in our hearts that is rising up over the whole earth. We need to seek the answer that the word of God gives it.

The Gospel reading we have just listened to is the account of the objectively greatest evil committed on earth. We can look at it from two different angles: either from the front or from the back, that is, either from its causes or from its effects. If we stop at the historical causes of Christ’s death, we get confused and everyone will be tempted to say, as Pilate did, “I am innocent of this man’s blood” (Mt 27:24). The cross is better understood by its effects than by its causes. And what were the effects of Christ’s death? Being justified through faith in him, being reconciled and at peace with God, and being filled with the hope of eternal life! (see Rom 53:1-5).

But there is one effect that the current situation can help us to grasp in particular. The cross of Christ has changed the meaning of pain and human suffering—of every kind of suffering, physical and moral. It is no longer punishment, a curse. It was redeemed at its root when the Son of God took it upon himself. What is the surest proof that the drink someone offers you is not poisoned? It is if that person drinks from the same cup before you do. This is what God has done: on the cross, he drank, in front of the whole world, the cup of pain down to its dregs. This is how he showed us it is not poisoned, but that there is a pearl at the bottom of it.

And not only the pain of those who have faith but of every human pain. He died for all human beings: “And when I am lifted up from the earth,” he said, “I will draw everyone to myself” (Jn 12:32).

Everyone, not just some! St. John Paul II wrote from his hospital bed after his attempted assassination, “To suffer means to become particularly susceptible, particularly open to the working of the salvific powers of God, offered to humanity in Christ.”[2] Thanks to the cross of Christ, suffering has also become in its own way a kind of “universal sacrament of salvation” for the human race.

* * *

What light does all of this shed on the dramatic situation that humanity is going through now? Here too we need to look at the effects more than at the causes—not just the negative ones we hear about every day in heart-wrenching reports but also the positive ones that only a more careful observation can help us grasp.

The pandemic of Coronavirus has abruptly roused us from the greatest danger individuals and humanity have always been susceptible to: the delusion of omnipotence. A Jewish rabbi has written that we have the opportunity to celebrate a very special paschal exodus this year, that “from the exile of consciousness” [3]. It took merely the smallest and most formless element of nature, a virus, to remind us that we are mortal, that military power and technology are not sufficient to save us. As a psalm in the Bible says, “In his prime, man does not understand. / He is like the beasts—they perish” (Ps 49:21). How true that is!

While he was painting frescoes in St. Paul’s Cathedral in London, the artist James Thornhill became so excited at a certain point about his fresco that he stepped back to see it better and was unaware he was about to fall over the edge of the scaffolding. A horrified assistant understood that crying out to him would have only hastened the disaster. Without thinking twice, he dipped a brush in paint and hurled it at the middle of the fresco. The master, appalled, sprang forward. His work was damaged, but he was saved.

God does this with us sometimes: he disrupts our projects and our calm to save us from the abyss we don’t see. But we need to be careful not to be deceived. God is not the one who hurled the brush at the sparkling fresco of our technological society. God is our ally, not the ally of the virus! He himself says in the Bible, “I have . . . plans for your welfare and not for woe” (Jer 29:11). If these scourges were punishments of God, it would not be explained why they strike equally good and bad, and why the poor usually bring the worst consequences of them. Are they more sinners than others?

No! The one who cried one day for Lazarus’ death cries today for the scourge that has fallen on humanity. Yes, God “suffers”, like every father and every mother. When we will find out this one day, we will be ashamed of all the accusations we made against him in life. God participates in our pain to overcome it. “Being supremely good – wrote St. Augustine – God would not allow any evil in his works, unless in his omnipotence and goodness, he is able to bring forth good out of evil.”[4]

Did God the Father possibly desire the death of his Son in order to draw good out of it? No, he simply permitted human freedom to take its course, making it serve, however, his own purposes and not those of human beings. This is also the case for natural disasters like earthquakes and plagues. He does not bring them about. He has given nature a kind of freedom as well, qualitatively different of course than that of human beings, but still a form of freedom—freedom to evolve according to its own laws of development. He did not create a world as a programmed clock whose least little movement could be anticipated. It is what some call “chance” but the Bible calls instead “the wisdom of God.”

* * *

The other positive fruit of the present health crisis is the feeling of solidarity. When, in the memory of humanity, have the people of all nations ever felt themselves so united, so equal, so less in conflict than at this moment of pain? Never so much as now have we experienced the truth of the words of one of our great poets: “Peace, you peoples! Too deep is the mystery of the prostrate earth.”[5] We have forgotten about building walls. The virus knows no borders. In an instant, it has broken down all the barriers and distinctions of race, nation, religion, wealth, and power. We should not revert to that prior time when this moment has passed. As the Holy Father has exhorted us, we should not waste this opportunity. Let us not allow so much pain, so many deaths, and so much heroic engagement on the part of health workers to have been in vain. Returning to the way things were is the “recession” we should fear the most.

They shall beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks;

One nation shall not raise the sword against another, nor shall they train for war again. (Is 2:4)

This is the moment to put into practice something of the prophecy of Isaiah whose fulfillment humanity has long been waiting for. Let us say “Enough!” to the tragic race toward arms. Say it with all your might, you young people, because it is above all your destiny that is at stake. Let us devote the unlimited resources committed to weapons to the goals that we now realize are most necessary and urgent: health, hygiene, food, the fight against poverty, stewardship of creation. Let us leave to the next generation a world poorer in goods and money, if need be, but richer in its humanity.

* * *

The word of God tells us the first thing we should do at times like these is to cry out to God. He himself is the one who puts on people’s lips the words to cry out to him, at times harsh words of lament and almost of accusation: “Awake! Why do you sleep, O Lord? / Rise up! Do not reject us forever! . . . Rise up, help us! / Redeem us in your mercy” (Ps 44, 24, 27). “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (Mk 4:38).

Does God perhaps like to be petitioned so that he can grant his benefits? Can our prayer perhaps make God change his plans? No, but there are things that God has decided to grant us as the fruit both of his grace and of our prayer, almost as though sharing with his creatures the credit for the benefit received.[6] God is the one who prompts us to do it: “Seek and you will find,” Jesus said; “knock and the door will be opened to you” (Mt 7:7).

When the Israelites were bitten by poisonous serpents in the desert, God commanded Moses to lift up a serpent of bronze on a pole, and whoever looked at it would not die. Jesus appropriated this symbol to himself when he told Nicodemus, “Just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life” (Jn 3:14-15). We too at this moment have been bitten by an invisible, poisonous “serpent.” Let us gaze upon the one who was “lifted up” for us on the cross. Let us adore him on behalf of ourselves and of the whole human race. The one who looks on him with faith does not die. And if that person dies, it will be to enter eternal life.

“After three days I will rise”, Jesus had foretold (cf. Mt 9:31). We too, after these days that we hope will be short, shall rise and come out of the tombs of our homes. Not however to return to the former life like Lazarus, but to a new life, like Jesus. A more fraternal, more human, more Christian life!

[1] Moralia in Job, XX, 1.

[2] John Paul II, Salvifici doloris [On the Meaning of Human Suffering], n. 23.

[3] https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/coronavirus-a-spiritual-message-from-brooklyn (Yaakov Yitzhak Biderman).

[4] See St. Augustine, Enchiridion 11, 3; PL 40, 236.

[5] Giovanni Pascoli, “I due fanciulli” [“The Two Children”].

[6] See St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologicae, II-IIae, q. 83, a. 2.

10th APRIL 2020 19:27POPE & HOLY SEE

[suchplausibilities]

supercorp + medieval au or theme park au 👀💕

Don’t think I don’t know this was a Trap to do a Merlin/Supergirl fusion bianca. I do. but i have too many feelings about both of them and am not prepared for the inevitable implosion of emotion when the combine. 

SO. Since last time i went to a theme park I spent the entire time dizzy and nauseous and therefore have bad feelings, I’m counting on your kind heart to allow me to slightly alter the timeline, and instead of doing a medieval AU, doing a Renaissance AU. Cool? Cool.

This fic would be called Open to Interpretation*, and would be forever long because I am physically incapable of shutting up. Lemme outline it for you (or give you the entire plot of the first half of the story): 

Kara D’Anversa, the youngest daughter of a peasant class woodworker (originally Kara Zolea, daughter of a prominent traveling merchant), is nearly twenty when she decides what her course in life should be. She’s always been a thinker; the type to spend swaths of time in the field near her family’s cottage, taking detailed notes about the insects and animals and vegetation to better understand the whys behind their design. The way their aesthetics play into their function fascinates her in a very unique way. Her parents and sister - thinkers themselves, though in different ways - are happy to indulge her passion in any way they can, as they’re very aware that the older she gets, the less freedom she’ll have to be vibrant and brilliant and herself. If this means that half of most meals consist of the meaning of the color patterns of certain types of insects, then so be it.

(For the record: Alex knows a lot about leaves, now. A lot.)

When Jeremiah begins to notice the sketches starting to accompany her notes, he gets an idea. Kara receives her first book on techniques for crafting paint and canvas when she’s fifteen. Within  three years, she has a total of six books related to painting and artistry.

When Alex is nearly twenty-five, her parents begin to discuss marriage. They’ve been receiving offers for years - unusual for the peasant class, given that poorer families usually required the help of their children for a larger portion of their youth, which also had the advantage of helping fathers to scrape together bigger dowries - but have neglected to give them any attention at all, given her age, their need for assistance in crafting and running the shop, and their desire to delay the inevitable for as long as possible, after they noticed that, even though she put forth a brave face, the idea of having a husband made Alex noticeably distressed. Now, though, she’s beginning to get offers from families known to be both kind and financially secure, and they’re afraid that, given her age, waiting would mean risking both her happiness and her future. Alex is both understanding and miserable.

The night that Jeremiah and Eliza tell Alex that they’ve narrowed it down to two men, and will likely have a deal by the end of the week, Kara spends the entire night in Alex’s bed, comforting and crying and laughing and just talking. It’s nearly dawn when Alex tells her to go. At Kara’s confused questions, Alex finally smacks her lightly on the back of her head, and tells her to stop being dense. She’s been talking about exploring and painting different parts of the country, finally finding a person whose portrait she finds interesting enough to paint, and meeting famous artists and being tutored by them for literal years. It’s time to shut up about it and finally go do it. 

Kara’s understandably taken aback by this - um, she’s a woman near marrying age living under the feudal system. How in the heck would she even manage that?? Alex gives her money she’s been saving since she was Kara’s age (her dad was kind enough to let her take a cut from some of the jobs they completed together), meant to be her back-up plan if her parents were strong-armed into accepting the one of the proposals from the various jerks asking for her hand, and tells Kara that she’s smart enough to figure out the rest. 

Kara leaves the next day. 

Only, here’s the problem: She’s been reading and hearing about various artists for years now, and most of them have one thing in common: they’re stationed in Florence. That’s hella far to travel, considering that she lives in the Kingdom of Naples, in the province of Ultra, which doesn’t even have the decency to be near the Northern border - it’s dead up in the middle. That’s not even mentioning the fact that she’s a beautiful technically-still-teenager, traveling alone.

Furthermore, she’s not ignorant of her circumstances. There aren’t many artists that would be willing to take on a female pupil. She’s heard quite a bit about the personalities of several of them, and from what she can tell, that there are just a few that would even possibly maybe consider that. And, given that she’s risking everything for this, she’s not willing to settle on who she would like to learn from. If she’s going to do this, she’s going big. So, she decides to seek out the artist that most inspires her, to the point that the chance of learning from him is totally worth risking her life and future: Leonardo da Vinci.

During her harrowing trip to Florence (which involves lots of running, hiding, kind strangers with familiar names that are more than willing to help, and - naturally - punching of gross dudes), a few more hiccups in her plan begin to emerge. Firstly, she learns that da Vinci may be from Florence, and he may frequently stay there, but he definitely doesn’t live there. In fact, one thing that didn’t make it into her books or the stories she was told was that he is constantly traveling. He’s considered one of the greatest artists of his time, and is, therefore, frequently commissioned to work for rulers and nobles all over Europe. So, even if she makes it to Florence, there is a very good chance that she’ll never actually meet him.

Secondly, da Vinci’s willingness to tutor talented artists that wish to improve means that he already has quite a few pupils, assistants, and potential protégés that travel with him. Even if he was willing to take on one more artist, the fact remains that she is a woman. Her gender might not matter to him, but it’s unlikely that all of his students will share his feelings, which could potentially be a serious roadblock.

Naturally, though, Kara ignores the odds and keeps going. Even if he’s not in Florence, he’s a big enough name that she can probably still find him, and she’s willing to do whatever it takes. And, as far as his students go? Let’s just assume there’s a 16th century Italian equivalent to ‘screw those guys,’ and that Kara thought it very loudly. 

Finally, two and a half years after leaving home, Kara arrives in Florence. Is she poor and tired? Yes. Is she also resourceful and unshakably determined? Absolutely. So, after she manages to secure temporary housing and an underpaying job willing to employ women on the down low, she starts asking around about da Vinci. Reports are contradictory, but she finally manages to speak to a reliable source that is absolutely sure that he’s in France, having been befriended, commissioned, and housed by the King, Francis I. With some effort, she finds the name of the town he’s settled down in: Amboise. 

Nearly three years later, she arrives in Amboise. It reminds her of her village, because, although it’s slightly larger, it’s still small enough to be very close-knit. It doesn’t surprise her, then, that when people learn where she’s from and why she’s there, they’re slightly standoffish. What does surprise her is that, even when they realize her persistence, they’re entirely unwilling to even confirm or deny da Vinci’s presence, and continue to suggest that she look to expand her art knowledge elsewhere. 

Finally, a local baker that she’s managed to befriend in the short time she’s been in town tells her that she’s asking the wrong questions. He tells her to head towards the eastern edge of town, and ask for Luciano. 

Asking for this Luciano goes well - right up until the moment she explains why she wants to meet him and triggers the same brick wall she had before. She learns very quickly to keep it vague and let people draw their own conclusions about her reasons, which pays off well. Luciano Michelini, she learns, is a close friend and apprentice of Leonardo da Vinci. da Vinci, by this time, is elderly, and suffers from a crippling of his hand that has essentially stopped him from creating anything new. As a result, Michelini handles all requests for pieces, deliveries of purchases, and correspondence with those seeking guidance on artistic and engineering projects. Unlike da Vinci, Michelini is often seen about town, and the locals know him well. 

After hearing all of this, Kara makes the painful decision to end her quest here. Bothering an old man so crippled that he barely leaves his home seems excessive and unkind, which is unacceptable, no matter how much it would mean to her to meet and learn from him. She’s disappointed, but there are other ways to improve in her artistry that don’t involve harassing the elderly. So, instead of seeking out a meeting with Michelini, she gathers her things a prepares herself to return to Florence.

…Which is, of course, when Michelini finds her. 

See, the town is even more tight knit than Kara realized, and word had been passed around about the strange girl wanting to become a pupil of Leonardo da Vinci since the day she arrived. The baker (who truly had become fond of Kara), had been instructed by Luciano himself to point her his way. When they finally met, he explained that he preferred for his first impressions to be from a distance. He liked having the upper hand in a first meeting. da Vinci’s fame meant that it was important to know the type of person he was dealing with. 

This does not annoy Kara as might have in other situations. Instead, she finds this man endlessly intriguing. Soon, she’s telling the tale of her long journey here, showing him her paintings, and getting a much clearer picture of what type of person would be able to get so close to someone like da Vinci. Before she knows it, Michelini is helping her to gather her things and leading her to the Château of Cloux - Leonardo da Vinci’s estate. 

On the way, she learns a few things: Firstly, Luciano Michelini is not a painter. Unlike most that sought out tutelage from da Vinci, his desire was to be educated in the complex science of mechanics and engineering. Michelini saw the structures and machinery of the day and just thought that they could do better. There was so much more that man could do, and there was no one better than Leonardo to help him to learn how to make real, permanent advances.

Secondly, he met da Vinci in Milan, when he was 18 - eight years ago, now. He’d had many pupils when Michelini first began following da Vinci, but he was now the only one, and had been for several years. Luciano credits these years as ones that gave his life real meaning.

Once they’ve arrived at the expansive château and have taken up residence in the sitting room, though, a few more (fairly vital) pieces of information are shared.

For example: Leonardo da Vinci, Luciano explains calmly, has been dead for nearly six months. Kara’s silent shock ends up very convenient, in that it allows Luciano to explain without protest:

A little over a year ago, Leonardo contracted a mild illness, expected to resolve itself within a few days. A few weeks later, he was entirely bedridden, and stayed that way for months, before finally dying. Luciano, who had long since considered the man his father, was his primary caregiver, and therefore spent hours upon hours hearing stories of his past, ideas that struck him suddenly, and his regrets. 

On his deathbed, Leonardo had shared that his greatest regret, by far, was that he had not carried out his works to the extent he should have, and had therefore failed God and accomplished no real change. This affected Luciano deeply, as he’d never met a greater man in his life. So, as Leonardo lived out his last few hours, Luciano came up with a plan that would prove to an even definitively how great Leonardo da Vinci truly was. 

With the blessing of King Francis I, and a vow from those that lived in Amboise (a town that was very unique in that very few people moved in, and just as few moved out) to stay mum, Luciano kept da Vinci’s death a secret, abandoned his own projects, and set to work building - and, where possible, implementing - many of the inventions da Vinci had detailed in his notebooks. The king had granted Luciano two years to bring to life as many projects as he could before da Vinci’s death was officially announced, at which point they would be revealed and demonstrated so that all of Europe had a much clearer understanding of how much da Vinci had - and could have, if he’d had more time - affected their lives. It wasn’t enough, Luciano admitted, but it was something, and the least of what da Vinci deserved.

When Kara finally digests this news, she asks the first question that pops into her head: Why was she - an outsider with no affection for da Vinci, outside of the impersonal kind she’d developed from hearing about and occasionally seeing his work -let in on such a huge secret?

“You’re exactly the type of artist he would have taken as a student without hesitation. The type of unique fortitude combined with the level of skill you possess is very rare. You have a very sharp eye. He’d have never passed up on the opportunity to teach you. I can’t introduce you to him, but I can show you things of his that might help guide you. 

“To be entirely, honest, though, my ego wasn’t entirely uninvolved in the decision. You remind me of myself.” 

“Because of my passion and determination?” 

“Maybe a little, but those traits are more common than you think. I was more referring to how we’re both women that went through great lengths to avoid having to give up our entire selves to better fit into our assigned roles.” 

“…uh, yeah. That’s… similar.”

(Kara gets the full story the next day, when she’s less overwhelmingly stupefied: 

Lena Lovatti was the daughter of Lorenzo Lovatti, one of the richest men in Milan. He was also one of the most feared. Though he was far from poor, he sought out ways to climb even further in the ranks of the nobility, and ultimately managed to gain much more wealth by acting as a spy for the French, a successful venture that ultimately helped them to overthrow the existing dynasty in Milan and take power there. Given his wealth and the protection he received from the Milan’s new French rulers, he was practically untouchable. This was a good thing, because he was also largely hated by the locals for his treason. 

This little hiccup meant that Lorenzo had only recently found a suitable suitor for Lena, who’d just turned 18. Lena was in the process of finding a way out of that situation (and that house) when her father requested that Leonardo da Vinci, one of the most famous artists of the time, come visit their estate to discuss the possibility of Leonardo completing a piece for Lorenzo. 

da Vinci ultimately declined, but during the visit, he caught Lena - who’d retreated to the study after dinner - sketching the design for a machine she was thinking up. Impressed, he convinced her to show him other ideas she’d come up with. When he mentioned that he would love the chance to guide her and help her to better her understanding of the natural forces at play that would determine the effectiveness of her inventions, she laughed, asking him not to feed her impossible dreams. She was a Woman, after all. Leonardo clearly didn’t care about her gender, but wasn’t ignorant of the challenges they would both face if a upper class woman joined him in his travels. He didn’t give up, though. After a brief silence, he asked, “Tell me: Would you be especially opposed to hosiery, or are you too attached to the bodice?”

Two weeks later, Lena Lovatti’s strange disappearance was clarified by her family: She’d run away and joined a convent. 

Three years later, the French were overthrown in Milan, and its former dynasty once again took power.)

The epilogue (wtf is wrong with me) would involve an episode of Fox and Friends, wherein they discuss the recent discovery of letters and portrait sketches that would suggest that Leonardo da Vinci’s most prominent pupil and inheritor of his estate was most likely a woman. The implications of this were even more astounding, as said pupil was married to the woman who, just a decade ago, been identified as the artist behind a nom de plume that had been used on several paintings now considered to be priceless.

The segment’s a complete cyclone of insane garbage, but this is what becomes everyone’s favorite soundbite: 

“This is just the most ridiculous – I mean, god. They got the bathrooms, they got the marriage, they got into congress - how much more gay do we need? Are we rewriting the constitution next? ‘We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created fabulous.’?”

*lol good try, past Erin. That is not its name.

[goldenhour-goldenboy]

hi triple frontier request here: the movie didn't give us much background as to why the five guys got into the military or their back stories with the special ops, could you please write your interpretation of how all of them got into / involved with special forces bc i feel like that was really missing from the movie, thank youuuu!!!!!!

I’m sorry this took so long! But I’ve kinda done them separately and tried to mix in everything as well as I could! I hope you enjoy this :) 

Joining the Military/becoming Airborne Rangers 

For Ben it was about proving himself. To his father, to his brother and also to himself, the competitive spirit between the two brothers pushing that thought. Benny wanted to make sure that everybody knew, he was just as good as the older Miller one and that he was tough enough for the army. Ever since he could think, there was nothing that he wanted more - or anything else that he’d dream to become. Growing up under the watchful eyes of his father shaped him into a man who checked his records, checked his time at training, checked who was above him and what he had to do to beat them. For Benny it was higher, faster, stronger and it landed him right at the top of his unit. It wasn’t destiny as much as it was the natural occurrence that needed to happen at one point, since he never stopped working to strive for an improved version of himself. His talent as a sharp shooter came out later, at first he made the cut  for his excellent physical and mental health, being able to control his nerves and having the endurance that was needed to get through the toughest tests, while maintaining an overlook over the whole situation. He was young and focused and his caring nature, to never leave a brother behind, was the bonus he needed to make the cut for the Special Forces. Overall Ben was the poster boy any unit could hope for, the perfect example of what one might achieve if they’ve put their minds to it.

William made the choice to join the army as he did everything in life - very well thought through. It made sense to him in a way that his family had a long line of soldiers and now it was his turn to contribute to that and honor, not only his father, but the men that came before him. For him it was about to continue to do what was right. That was the second part, giving back to his country and ensuring a better, brighter future. William liked the routine of the army, that it had rules that he understood and he could follow, the machinery of it all and he felt at secured in a way, knowing where he stood and what was expected of him. He quickly realized though, that the position he started in wouldn’t be for forever. He didn’t mind the physical part but he missed putting his brains to the test, feeling as if he got stuck in a position that would leave him more and more unchallenged, mentally speaking. He wanted to know more, about the operation, why they were send where they’re sent and what the motive was behind all of that. But as more and more answers where withheld from him, he felt himself getting stuck in the routine he once admired and needed. Now, he wanted more. So William did what he did best - he informed himself what he needed to do to get as much intel on the situation as possible. His intelligence, strength and potential for leadership (though he never wanted to take that kind of responsibility for others) made him an immediate candidate for the special tactics team. He’d constantly butt heads with Tom, the older operation leader being annoyed with the younger soldier who’s questions never seemed to stop and who’d wait for him outside the commando tent after every meeting. It took a while for Tom to figure out that Will didn’t want to take his position, he simply wanted to be informed and needed to know that he could trust the man in charge and after they’d settled their dispute, they were able to move past their first dislike against each other. Later on Tom highly appreciated William’s calm nature, the big guy seeming to have a softer and almost philosophical side to him and they’d spent many nights talking, about life, the upcoming mission and their families back home.

Poverty, corruption and the dream for a better life formed what may be the most adaptable character of the whole group. Growing up Santiago was surrounded by obstacles he and his family had to overcome. He learned a lot in his younger years, surviving was a trick purely based on how well someone could handle situations life tends to throw at one, nothing was ever meant forever and everything came and had a price. Many of his future talents came from the experiences in his childhood, growing up in Columbia, and it was only later on in his life, long after they’d migrated to America, that he learned to turn them into something he could make a profit of. Joining the army at first was about stability, to find a place where he could settle for a while, that offered a consistent paycheck at the end of the month and a roof over his head. His natural charm and easy going nature never seemed to leave him, earning him more than one warning from his superior officer, but overall Santiago enjoyed his time in the army for a while. Becoming a ranger wasn’t something he’d planned on. It was after loosing one too many of his close mates in a mission and the desperation of needing to be in control of something after that hard loss, that he knew he’d to improve of his rank in order to be granted the possibilities for real change. He didn’t want to stay a soldier of many, never fitting in in the first place and his loss sparked a dedication that pushed him to train harder. He turned out to be the best investigator later on, even though he almost broke every law he encountered on the way. Santiago was never a poster boy for the rangers, rarely playing by the rules but his natural talent to gather information and blend in was something that couldn’t be taught.

Tom really had nothing left when he joined the army. He never talked about it and the other boys could only guess the reason, but his life before being drafted seemed to be something that’d be stuck with him forever. Joining for him was, really, a last resort. The Special Forces Team seemed out of reach for him, he never thought that this was something he’d qualify for and it wasn’t until one of his mates told him about their ambition to join and the qualification process, that he started to slowly gain interest. It took a lot of carefully asked questions at his superior officer, that he started to consider taking a chance and trying to get in as well. Tom kept this thought, as he did many things at the time, to himself, training alone, at times where he was sure none of his roommates would interrupt him and shying away with excuses when being asked what he planned on doing next, answering that he might extend his contract as a simple soldier, even though by then the dream of getting drafted was strong enough to keep him laying awake at night. The taste of a small chance felt almost real on his tongue and almost didn’t dare to dream that he could built something great for himself for once. He’d never forgotten the day his name was called, hot pride filling his chest, cheeks burning with confirmation, that yes, he was good enough. The rush of confidence he gained that day stuck around with him until the end of his deployment and his past self, insecure little Tom that first joined the army, vanished in that exact moment.

Stumbling into the army on a second chance, was none other than Francisco. He failed his flying license as a normal pilot just a couple weeks before signing up, leaving him drowning his sorrows for four nights in a row. On the fifth day he woke up with a hangover and his girlfriend standing at the end of his bed, declaring to leave him if he touched a single drop of alcohol for the next week. He nursed his pounding headache in a café with sunglasses and two Advil that day, grumbling at the staff, and whoever seemed to listen to him, about failing his dreams and his life being destroyed. It was an annoyed waitress that handed him the idea of trying out for the army, her brother just signed up a couple of days ago and they’d always seemed to need more people, maybe even an almost pilot. It took another week and the end of the month with rent coming up, that Francisco took what he had left (which wasn’t his girlfriend at this point, he’d turned to the bottle once again that week even though he’d promised not to) and make the decision to join, set on becoming a pilot and doing it right this time. Francisco and Santiago met at the first responder course, Francis failing miserably at keeping his dummy alive and swearing (and sweating) up a bilingual storm. It was a friendship at an “almost” first sight and even though the dummy didn’t make it, a strong foundation blossomed that late afternoon, both man not being able to keep their focus up on their tasks, as they were much more amused about making comments and cracking jokes. They later bonded over drinks, Francis having to promise Santi to never perform first aid on him if he’d get shot in battle, as he’d rather die then let Francisco make it worse by trying to stop him from bleeding out. It were the stories and the shared feeling of homesickness that night, comparing similar foods and relishing in familiar tastes. Both of them connected on a level that neither quite could explain. They just got each other and not having to have a lot of words spoken between the two of them, an easiness flowing between them that was comforting to both of them. Francisco decision to get his head straight and try out for the test to become a ranger, specifically an airborne pilot, really drew from himself wanting to fly more than a simple helicopter, transporting soldiers in and out of war zones. Even though he might give a different impression to some, his actually calm and collected nature was something very valuable as a pilot candidate, the fact that he spoke multiple languages and having an IQ over 125 outweighed his first failed flying license and his average physical score, leaving him to be the next-to-last soldier to be accepted as a ranger recruit that draft.

They’ve really all met before, at least brushing by or spotting each other at training and even though they all came from different backgrounds and joined for different reasons, being elusively picked for the Special Forces Program had nothing to do with luck. It was their talent and their dedication that got them drafted, every one of them signing up freely for the tests and they were chosen because they’ve proven time and time again to be best. Fish had the highest score when it came to everything to do with piloting and aerial strategics. Tom was the best and quickest to analyze a situation and to map out an unplanned exit route, making him a specialist for missions with a time sensitive priority. Santiago was an outstanding inside man, being able to hide in plain sight, charming on more than one levels and having a way with locals to tell their secrets and gather information as quickly and as delicate as possible. Benny was a sniper that every team could only dream of, never faltering, always concentrated and almost never missing. He was fast and sharp and dangerous. William was the well balanced of them all, talented in almost every area. He was deadly, fast on his toes and his one-on-one combat incomparable. Together, they not only learned to trust each others skills but really had a chance to grow and develop a rhythm as a team, that made the combination of all five an exclusive and highly valuable unit.

[sunshineandstorm]

Hey Jude (Sam Kiszka x Reader - Fluff)

Here you were this morning, phone in hand, ignoring the rest of the world.

@gunpowdergelatin: So how's the weather there?

@ClinkFloyd: Gloomy. It's been raining non-stop since this morning.

@gunpowdergelatin: Really? Wow. It's literally the same here.

@ClinkFloyd: It's okay, though. Your presence makes up for it.

You couldn't help but grin like a mindless idiot as soon as you finished reading the last message he sent. You leaned against your locker, unsure of what to do with the butterflies in your stomach.

How were you supposed to respond to a message like that?

Too busy racking your brain for a decent reply, you were snapped out of your trance when your best friend clapped her hands loudly in front of you.

"Jesus, Grace. You startled me." you say, clutching your chest.

"Bitch, I had to. Why were you grinning so hard? Did Harry Styles finally top the reader in this smashing fic that you're reading?"

Bold of her to assume you were reading fan fiction. Whatever made you smile from ear to ear was undoubtedly so much better than the feels trip you occasionally take in the land of make believe.

"Shut up. I'm not you." you retorted, not wanting her to think you were still stuck in that phase.

Grace furrowed her eyebrows as she tried her hardest to guess the reason why you were beaming. You started walking the hallway to your room, her, following closely behind. The moment she kept up with your pace, she began pestering you with all the questions you answered unenthusiastically.

"I wasn't watching a rom-com either. Just forget it."

"No, I'm not gonna stop until you tell me what happened." she insisted, refusing to back down.

You groan as your walking came to a halt, turning to your stubborn best friend beside you. You contemplated telling her for a while, afraid that she'll think you're stupid for smiling because of a sweet message you received.

Well, it's not like you didn't have the right to. It's just that the person who sent it to you is someone you absolutely know nothing about. You know that he's your age, a classic rock fan just like you are, and that he loves music just as much as you do, but much to your chagrin, that's the bloody extent of it.

You have no idea what he looks like or where he's from. Hell, you don't even know his name. You mentally pat yourself on the back for not knowing basic information about this guy that you've been talking to for a month now, just telling yourself that neither of you bothers to inquire because of how good the conversations get as a sop. And even though you were deprived of his personal info, you did know his deepest and weirdest thoughts, making you feel closer to him in a way.

But if you say you're not a little interested about his personal life, then you'd be lying.

You averted your gaze from the ground to Grace, sighing as you decide to just give in and spill. It's not like she didn't already know everything about you anyway.

"Fine. It's Jude. He said something sweet. Are you happy now?" you shared, immediately regretting your decision as soon as more questions were raised.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're still talking to that guy?"

"So?"

Damn it.

You knew it. You knew you shouldn't have brought him up.

"So? Y/N, you hardly know this guy!"

"But he and I are just talking!"

"Okay, yeah, sure. But occasionally, you flirt with each other and maybe even sext. Bitch, how can I be sure you're not dating this guy through Twitter?"

Your eyes widen at her allegations. You were stunned, partly because she's accusing you of something she would do, but mostly because she's scolding you for it instead of supporting you.

Normally, Grace would tell you that you're too uptight or that you need to let loose and have fun, so having her nag you like she's doing at the moment greatly astounds you. You suppose she's just looking out for you like any best friend would, but she tends to be more impulsive than you, so she's really left you confounded right now.

"Chill, mom. We do nothing but talk about dead or old musicians. And personally, I don't see anything wrong with that." you said, defending yourself.

Grace sighed, admitting to herself that your reasoning made sense, but she still found the whole set-up ridiculous nonetheless.

"Okay, but didn't it ever occur to you that this dude's probably a two?"

You gave her a look of disbelief.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Dude, if he's a ten, then his icon would've been a picture of himself instead of Jim freakin' Morrison."

She has a point, but you were certain that yours is a far better one.

"Well, has it ever occured to you that maybe he wants to keep his personal life private? Stan accounts exist for a goddamn reason, Grace, and it's not so he can show the world how good-looking or unattractive he is."

True enough, fan accounts are dedicated to any phenomenon that floats your boat. Grace didn't have trouble understanding this. She just so happens to find the idea of you, conversing with a total stranger on a daily basis really dumb that she's not holding back from giving you a list of reasons why you shouldn't do so anymore.

"And it doesn't matter if he turns out to be an ugly guy. I'm not dating him, nor do I have any plans to." you added, hoping that she'd stop bombarding you with her arguments.

How concerned she is of your actions is making you feel like you're sinful, and as if you're making the biggest mistake of your life. You thought you've already made her understand your explanation and believe your statement, but you were wrong. She wouldn't let the issue slide, which is unlikely.

"You don't even know what his actual name is!" she said, completely disregarding what you've said prior to her comment.

Another thing that bugs you is that you had no choice but to refer to him as Jude since he has "Hey Jude" as his Twitter name. It's probably not the most practical decision you've ever made, but the lack of essential information sharing between the two of you has prompted you to resort to that solution.

"Oh, come on. As long as I'm not crossing the line, then I'm not doing anything wrong! Can we just drop it and talk about other stuff?"

"Fine." Grace huffed, accepting defeat.

"I was going to drop some bomb on you before things went haywire anyway." she informed you, not wanting to argue with you over this mysterious dude you call "Jude" anymore.

You inched closer to her, having forgotten about Jude for a second as you anticipated the juicy gossip she's about to tell you. You grabbed her arm and shook it, urging her to spare the details already.

"Are you going to tell me or not?"

"Chill, baby cakes. It's about Sam."

Samuel Francis Kiszka. That perfect assortment of chromosomes. Oh, how greatly you loved his long brown locks, his glowing skin, and his prepossessing smile. You've had a crush on that boy since forever, but you only ever talked when you needed to and he never really looked your way. Your interest in him dwindled the moment you interacted with Jude on Twitter, but it's not like you're a loss to him.

You, losing your feelings for him does not affect him in any way since he could care less about you. And besides, he always has a string of girls, pining after him wherever he chooses to go.

"Oh. What about him?"

Typically, you're all ears when literally anyone has anything Sam-related to say, but having Jude to talk to has really made you less interested in him.

If Grace noticed how indifferent you seemed after she mentioned Sam, she chose to ignore it.

"He already has a new girl. I wouldn't say they're dating, though, 'cause I overheard his conversation with Danny and learned that he and this chick are just talking as of now. But according to Sam, things are getting pretty serious." she said as a matter-of-factly.

"Oh. Good for him."

Now it's Grace's turn to give you a look of disbelief. She didn't expect you would react this way. This is the first time she's seen you so nonchalant about Sam. She tried to appear as unsurprised as possible, but her facial expression betrayed her, finding it hard to close her mouth that's currently agape. Never in her wildest dreams did she think you wouldn't be bothered by the idea of Sam, dating someone else that's not you.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What?" you asked, blinking, confused by her question.

"The last time you found out Sam has a girlfriend, you bawled your eyes out. And now you're out here, unaffected, and saying shit like, 'good for him'? What kind of supernatural being possessed you?"

You chuckled. You tried to give her an answer, but you couldn't find any. You truly didn't know what happened. It could be the fact that you ran out of feelings for Sam because your relationship with him never really progressed after all these years. On the other hand, it could be the fact that you met Jude and grew awfully close to him.

"I don't know. I think it's just that... I found another person to give my attention to."

Grace scoffed, looking pretty disgusted by your response.

"Please don't tell me you're referring to this son of a bitch named Jude."

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but yes." you said, dragging her inside your classroom.

"Seriously, Y/N. Eww."

"I don't care what you think, G."

Settling into your seat, you were alarmed upon realizing that you didn't reply to Jude's last message. You quickly fished your phone out of your pocket to send him a message, not wanting him to think he made things weird. The two of you continued to message each other until your physics teacher entered your classroom. It's funny how you didn't only have the gloomy weather in common for both your annoyingly punctual teachers arrived at the same time.

Your mind temporarily shut out thoughts of him as you tried your best to answer this headache of a quiz that was given to you.

- - -

"You guys are still talking?" Grace asked, exasperated, swallowing the food she was chewing.

"We are."

"Grace, seriously. We're just talking. You're worried for nothing." you tried, convincing your best friend to stop giving you dirty looks.

"Fine. What are you guys talking about right now?"

You smiled even though she just rolled her eyes at you, knowing that she wouldn't be able to resist you, no matter how insane she thought you were being.

"He just asked me what my favorite John Denver song is."

"The Music Is You? Sounds cheesy." Grace said after peeking at your conversation with Jude in your phone.

"Trust me, G. Every guy you've dated is way cheesier."

Grace was just about to say something snarky when Sam had an outburst. You and Grace exchanged looks before diverting your attention to Sam and his friends. Thank God you can hear them perfectly from your lunch table.

"Oh, what is it now?" Danny asked, just as annoyed as Grace was a minute ago.

"Her favorite John Denver song is The Music Is You!" Sam answered, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Oh.

My.

God.

Fuck.

Both you and Grace's eyes shot wide open, Sam's words leaving the both of you dumbfounded. Is this really happening? You were too shocked to tell.

You couldn't move. You lost the capability to speak. Your brain won't even form sentences, let alone words right now as it refused to process what your ears had heard. Suddenly, all that you felt was this abnormal pounding sensation in your chest.

If you thought Sam Kiszka couldn't make you weak anymore, you've never been so wrong.

- - -

A/N: PART TWO.

[aion-rsa]

Tenet: Is the Protagonist the Real Villain?

https://ift.tt/2SuTFBP

This article contains Tenet spoilers.

The Protagonist might be one of the most unimaginatively named main characters of all time, but it’s worth pointing out that he is referred to as “the Protagonist,” which is notably different from being called “the Hero.”

Of course it’s not hard to argue he’s a good guy who does good guy things. He is fighting against a gangster who regularly kills people and has trapped his wife in an abusive marriage. He saved all those unconscious hostages from those bombs (maybe, we’re still figuring that out). His goal is stated, multiple and explicit times, to be saving the world. That makes him a good guy, right?

His goal, ultimately, is to prevent the assembly of the “Algorithm,” which a future adversary will use to invert the flow of time, wiping out the past and potentially destroying all existence in the process. It’s complicated, as we’ve covered before, but you can skip an awful lot of the explanation to get to the “and then the world ends” part and decide, yes, yes this person is doing Hero Things.

So that means the people he’s fighting must be villainous, right? Well…

A Not-So Evil Villain

Sator is, by anyone’s estimate, a bad egg. We’ve covered that. But when he tells us his goal, it’s not one of ultimate destruction. He tells the Protagonist, “I want to create a new world. Somewhere, once, a man in a crystal tower presses a switch, and Armageddon is both triggered and prevented. Time itself changes direction. The sunshine we enjoyed will warm the faces of our descendants.”

That sounds pretty nice, and while we can all agree Sator is a wrong ‘un who deserves to be shot and slip-n-slided off his own yacht, the people he’s working for in our future have some pretty understandable motivations.

Sator tells us they are reversing time “because their oceans rose and their rivers dried up. They have no choice but to turn around. We are to blame for that.”

He’s right. No reasonable person can deny climate change is going to be absolutely catastrophic if not prevented. Faced with that, a giant reset button, an opportunity to live in an abundant and imagined past is surely understandable.

The Protagonist doesn’t think so, which might be fair enough, but his justification is, well, weird.

He tells Sator “Each generation provides for its own survival.” Now I’m sorry, but that is a bloody weird justification for screwing over your own descendants. To get a bit dangerously political for a second, that line has extreme “Why shouldn’t we inflate the housing market so our kids are forced to rent forever?” vibes. It sounds very “Why should I bother about carbon footprints if I’m not going to live to see the consequences?” In a film where one of the characters’ primary motivations (and, some might say, only actual personality trait) is that they want to protect their child, saying “Screw you” to your children’s children’s children rings oddly.

But whatever we think of the Protagonist’s arguments, the truth remains that the Algorithm is going to blow up the universe if it is used, and so the Protagonist is right to stop it, even if he has to be a dick about it. Right?

Well to answer that, we have to look at Tenet as a time travel movie, and an espionage movie, and how those two things interact. They do this nowhere more profoundly than in the repeated phrase “Ignorance is our ammunition.”

Ignorance is Whose Ammunition?

We’ve covered the time travel rules of Tenet before, and they seem pretty cut and dried. What happens stays happened, history can’t be changed, you can watch a film forward or in reverse, but the events still play out the same. It’s a model that appeals to Christopher Nolan’s sensibilities as a filmmaker.

What “Ignorance is our ammunition” means in terms of Time Warfare refers to the immutability of the past and future. The past and future are like the cat in Schrödinger’s thought experiment. It is alive and dead until somebody looks at it and it becomes one or the other.

You remain ignorant of how a mission you’re about to carry out goes so that you don’t find out if it ends badly and then get stuck on that course. Every piece of information you learn becomes a shot fired, an event that cannot unhappen.

But at the same time, you don’t tell other people the future when things go well so that events go as they already have. That hints that maybe things can change. We’ll get to that, but first we’re going to pull our own pincer movement and look at what “ignorance is our ammunition” means in terms of espionage.

Here the meaning of the phrase is far more obvious. In espionage, information must be constantly compartmentalized. Plausible deniability, need-to-know, isolation of active parties to prevent information from falling into enemy hands.

Neil, played by Robert Pattinson, is perhaps the greatest advocate of not-knowing-shit, coming out with such pithy quotes as “lying is the standard operational procedure” and “policy is to suppress.”

This extends even to thinking critically at all, when the scientist who delivers the Protagonist his first info dump tells him, “Don’t try to understand it. Feel it.” It’s a line that feels like a heavy wink toward the viewer, but it also seems to warn the Protagonist himself from thinking critically.

The only person who suggests that the Protagonist should be asking more questions is that old bastard Sator, again. He tells the Protagonist, “You’re fighting for a cause you barely understand, with people you trust so little that you have told them nothing.” When he calls the Protagonist a fanatic, it’s hard to argue.

Perhaps the most damning clue comes from Fay, the CIA boss who recruits the Protagonist into Tenet in the first place. He introduces the Protagonist to the fight saying, “There’s a cold war. Cold as ice. To even know its true nature is to lose.”

The nature of the war is that the Earth faces a climate catastrophe that will render it uninhabitable, and the Protagonist is fighting to ensure it happens. Knowing that would definitely hurt your resolve.

There Is No Answer, It’s A Paradox

But once again, the Earth dying at some future time is still a better outcome then everything being obliterated in an instant right now, right? After all, throughout the film it is shown time and time again that history can’t be changed.

Except, does anybody really try?

Read more

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Tenet Ending Explained

By Chris Farnell

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Tenet: Robert Pattinson’s Neil Timeline Explained

By David Crow

When the Protagonist tries to warn Neil, knowing he’s about to go to his death, Neil argues, “We just saved the world, can’t leave anything to chance.” The Protagonist asks, “But can we change things if we do it differently?” and he’s just met with a glib “what’s happened, happened.”

Neil responds with some philosophical stuff about fate, and we’ve argued about free will before. But the point is, the Protagonist could have just gone back with Neil, made sure he didn’t get killed, and history would have changed (for better or worse). But he doesn’t.

Neil himself appears less certain about “What’s happened, happened” elsewhere in the film. When the Protagonist argues, “Doesn’t us being here now mean it never happened?” Neil will only offer an “Optimistically, I’d say that’s right.”

Pessimistically, Neil starts talking about “parallel worlds theory” and “multiple realities,” admittedly in the most garbled and non-sensical way possible, and elsewhere he explains the Grandfather Paradox, even though I’m pretty sure anyone going to see Tenet already knows that one by now.

However, he also let’s slip that there are other opinions that “in the future, those in power clearly believe you can kick grandpa downstairs, gouge his eyes out, slit his throat, without consequence.”

When the Protagonist asks if they could be right, Neil evasively says, “It doesn’t matter.” Even the scientist who sends the Algorithm back in time is compared to Oppenheimer in the doomsday scenario she predicted—Oppenheimer believed (or at least scientists working for him in Los Alamos) that a nuclear bomb might ignite the Earth’s atmosphere. But that theory was also wrong.

So maybe the barrier here isn’t physics or time travel logic. Maybe it’s politics.

The Protagonist and the End of History

Above and beyond being a time travel movie, Tenet is a spy movie. It may, in fact, be the Bond movie that Christopher Nolan never made. But I’d argue it draws its influences from a very specific era of spy movie. The plot throws allusions to nuclear weapons and cold warfare, echoing the spy movies from the height of the Cold War. At one point in time the war is referred to as “ice cold,” which sort of means there’s no danger of violence breaking out, so I’m not sure what Nolan meant by that.

But the film feels resonant of the spy movies of the ‘90s and early ‘00s. In these films, The Saint, Death Train(or Detonator as it’s known elsewhere), The Sum of All Fears, and Tomorrow Never Dies, the world is relatively, and for a spy movie, irritatingly stable. The Cold War is over. 9/11 has yet to dominate the global consciousness. It’s a time period whose beginning is marked by the publication of The End of History and the Last Man by American political scientist Francis Fukuyama. Fukuyama argues that with the ascendancy of Western liberal democracy and the dissolution of the Soviet Union, history was done. No more world wars. No more revolutions. No huge economic shifts. The future, looked at from the ‘90s, was an everlasting capitalist liberal democracy with incrementally better gadgets as time went on.

In these films the threat isn’t a foreign power, or a political entity equal in might to America’s own; it’s the idea that “history” might restart, that the eternal status quo we were promised might be upended.

And ultimately, this is what most spy movies are about. Spies aren’t revolutionaries (not in their own country anyway). They are government employees, and typically stability is the highest cause that they fight for.

Like the Tenet organization, and the Protagonist, they are fighting for the status quo, they’re not interested in improving anything.

The Protagonist ends the film realizing that he is in charge of Tenet, that he most likely founded the organization. But even in founding it, he has no agency, he won’t change anything. As the mastermind of the Tenet group he is still following orders.

When the Protagonist is asking all his questions about Tenet’s time travel logic, Neil tells him, “We’re the people saving the world from what might have been.”

But not once does the Protagonist wonder if what might have been could have been an improvement.

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[vaguely-concerned]

Some Uncharted 3 feels

- My sister and I just finished up Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception, and let me tell you… she chose the perfect fucking game to introduce me to the series because a) parental substitute stories are my ultimate narrative Jam and I will eat it up with not one spoon, not two spoons, but every spoon made available to me, b) the early parts of the game with Chloe and Charlie are  g e n i u s  and I loved all these treasure hunting weirdos (Charlie’s interspersed British History info dump while Nate was doing his own Francis Drake info dump was golden) and c) the moment I had to control tiny little bb Nate scrambling over the rooftops every protective instinct rose up in me and I adopted him as my son. He just feels so vulnerable in this one, even as an adult, I want to slap Marlowe’s filthy British gaslighting hands away from him and keep him safe. (‘Sullly hasn’t come back for you yet’ how D A R E you monster)

- I feel a deep eternal spiritual connection with Sully, because we both took one look at this disaster child and went ‘...well nothing for it I must now protect him for as long as I live’. (There were frequently hilarious moments when I was cottoning on to what kind of insane leap the game/Nathan ‘No Trace Of Impulse Control’ Drake wanted me to do next and I was like ‘oh no… no baby child you’ll break your neck I hate this’ and one second later Sully would be like ‘...you sure about this, kid’ and I was like ‘THANK YOU SULLY THIS IS MADNESS’ and then of course Nate would do it anyway while I turned my head so I wouldn’t have to look at the craziness I had wrought with the dual shock controller)

- It’s perfectly understandable why Nate marries Elena in the end and I am very happy for them, but with all objective truth in the universe we must all come to accept that no one in this game is more Marriage Material than Salim. Always there with a freakishly durable horse and a perfectly timed rescue to sweep you off your feet — literally, because you’re an idiot who routinely jumps from your horse onto trucks at breakneck speed and yet he lets you sit behind him on his horse until you find yours again; a Gentleman. Beautiful eyes. Excellent sense of dramatic timing, maybe good hair under the coverings, could immediately feel the cosmic vibrations of hurt puppy, I-am-doing-the-best-I-can-I-swear-everything-just-keeps-happening-to-me energy around Nathan Drake and chose to protect him… truly, the perfect man.  

- I sort of got the thing they tried to do at the end with the Talbot/Marlowe bond mirrored with the Nate/Sully one, but I feel like it would have been better if it was built up more before they reach the city? Like at this point your distaste for Talbot is so strong that you’re like ‘well GOOD your mother figure sucked anyway, choke on quicksand assbutt’, and it could have been more gutting if he was just a tiny bit more likeable. Marlowe had some really good indirect characterization going on though, like the fact that after twenty years she STILL hasn’t figured out that the reason Sully suddenly ‘stabbed her in the back’ was that she fucking hit a kid in the face in front of him. (It wasn’t subtle, Katherine, he’s standing there like D: D: D: right behind you)

- GOD the damn shipyard stuff dragged on FOREVER and for no narrative reward whatsoever — if you think about it it could literally be removed from the game completely and… nothing at all would change except Nate would maybe have a few more ribs still intact — and also the gameplay was tiring, but it was tremendously effective in making you feel what Nate feels and so I forgive it. I felt fucking harrowed by the time he wakes up on that beach, enough so that I didn’t even bother to go ‘uh. Sure. sure he washed ashore safely from what looked very much like the open ocean. That’s… likely’. I was just happy he was okay. Ssssh it’s psychological storytelling okay let’s not question it. Also being on a sinking cruise ship was admittedly some of the coolest level design I’ve ever seen, so there’s that.

- On an unrelated note I wonder what the hell Marlowe was paying her goons for them to keep trying to murder me after their employer had set fire to the chateau with them still inside it with no way out and while a plane was getting torn to pieces around them. That’s dedication, I’m actually impressed.

- No one wears a henley shirt quite like Nathan Drake. Like my feelings for him are more parental than anything but damn that boy sure knows how to pull off a Look.

- Talking about parental feelings, who else melts every time he starts expounding on a special interest? He’s such a ditz about everything else and yet… is it English renaissance and/or connected to Francis Drake in even the vaguest possible way? My boy will talk your ear off about it. God bless this ADHD poster child.

- They really did some cool things with his characterization otherwise too — this game feels a little like a coming of age story, despite the fact that he’s like… thirty five, because there’s this childlike quality to him, that slight manic brittleness of an abandoned, hurt child that is both tremendously endearing and slightly unsettling. (He… kills a lot of people in this game, u guise, and while most of it is made out to be basically self defense he, uh, doesn’t seem all that broken up about it) Marlowe revealing his real backstory so off-handedly and leaving you to puzzle together the fact that he has made himself into his own escapist character worked so well and might have hit me even harder if I’d played the first two. From how strongly he reacts to Elena’s comments about it he must realize on some level that Sully is getting older and that would trigger that fear that he’s going to leave the Adventure and by extension him behind, taking the one stable thing he’s had in his life since he was like fifteen away. (Thank you, Sully, for staying alive like a champ even though you’re the resident mentor and Nate’s terrified imagination murdered you like… four times in this game, this is the kind of dedication and survivability I like to see in a father figure)

I love that in the end what lets him heal is feeling safe in the fact that these people love him and won’t leave him even though he’s pulling the most insane shit and that is all that hole in him he tried to fill with adrenaline and Adventure really needed and he can let go enough to have real emotional closeness. Aaaand also he needed to sink a fucking city into the sand in the process b/c of who he is as a person, I guess. Let me reiterate: god bless him.  

-  Most difficult parts: when they try to make you shoot hallucination!Sully (I’m such a wimp, I couldn’t lol) and when you have to fight Charlie. I failed that fight thrice because I didn’t want to hit him back. Also when they make you think Charlie’s about to die, that was straight up mean

- “*deep sigh* This is why we can’t have nice things” I am Sully and Sully is me. Really though, that man is the true hero of this story. He’s been saying ‘Careful Nate’ and ‘Nate find another way so you won’t fucking die’ and ‘HOLY SHIT KID’ for twenty years and it has never worked and yet he still tries. Inspiring.

- The voice acting was amazing — I have never understood the hype around Nolan North before, he’s just everywhere in games, it would be like noticing the presence of air, but then I heard the way his voice went tiny when he said ‘Sully?’ and everything inside me went !!!!!

I get it now

- My one real complaint: I hope whoever’s responsible for all the ‘running towards the floaty camera’ scenes steps on one Lego annually for the next decade, those parts took years off my life  

- Marlowe is a class act on the good old Villain Stuff — I burst out laughing when it turned out she was a member of an ~*ancient secret society*~ because… of course. Of COURSE she is — and I deeply respect that. Quoting T. S. Eliot at you while you’re dying in the desert? They just don’t make ‘em like that anymore, guys.

- This game is the ultimate proof that if you successfully create emotional connection with the characters, your plot can be as openly silly and full of holes as you like and people will roll with it. I mean that ending made no sense whatsoever but I was too busy whimpering through Nate’s hallucination panic attack thingy to care and that is… no one should have that kind of power, Naughty Dog, why u hurt me this way and make me forget what logic is

- Most brilliantly funny and understated moment: baby Nate casually reaching out for Sully’s beer and Sully being like ‘lol no kid’ in the most knowing, already fond way. The physical acting in these games is just phenomenal, which I guess is the upside of all the mocap stuff? (also makes sure they’re quite short and streamlined tho ha ha)

- We got ‘The Lost Legacy’ with the PS4 too so I’m going to start that — I think I will miss Nate but I also love Chloe and her cynical yet caring ass with the passion of a thousand suns so it’ll be okay ha ha  

[sowhatisthisfor]

Movies 2018

 List of films I watched in 2018 from best to worst.

Updated soon after I’ve seen them.

A Ghost Story [David Lowery, 2017, United States] No film has made me feel this melancholic ever. This is a film so profound, it examines existence in the simplest yet most esoteric way possible. It surely goes straight to the top of my all-time favourite list. 10/10

Burning (Boening) [Chang-dong Lee, 2018, South Korea] Shows the interrelation of hunger and class, the truths and the unknowns. Of how desires could either free you or cage you in unhappiness and despair. A mystery of misery that parallels its political viewpoint. 10/10

Roma [Alfonso Cuaron, 2018, Mexico] Its technical expertise in every element of every frame and composition is overwhelming. It's a movie about contrasts and how each opposite gives life balance, told with such authenticity, it's luxurious cinematic experience. 10/10

Women of the Weeping River [Dayoc, 2016, Philippines] A film about a generational blood feud, and also a metaphoric portrayal of the unending armed conflicts in Mindanao where the vulnerable is the most at risk, and the strong isn’t really unbreakable. 10/10

Kung Paano Hinihintay Ang Dapithapon [Carlo Catu, 2018, Philippines] a small film that tackles layers after layers of things too close to heart. Sincere and profound, definitely my favourite. 10/10  

Loveless (Nelyubov) [Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2018, Russia] cold and chilling in all aspect from start to end. It has such great observation of the recognizable societal apathy. 10/10

Beats Per Minute (BPM) [Robin Campillo, 2017, France] Goosebumps. This is a film clear of its objective, it is exhilarating and exhausting in the good kind of way. 10/10

Cold War (Zimna Wojna) [Pawel Pawlikowski, 2018, Poland] Makes something despairing so beautiful with its artful composition, rightly-paced narrative transition, and cold but affecting character treatment. 10/10

Faces Places [JR, Agnès Varda, 2018, France] Wow. This is the film to watch when your soul is dying for art. Tears, I can't help them from falling. 10/10

Sid & Aya [Irene Villamor, 2018, Philippines] It’s too beautiful, I’m crying halfway through the film for how beautiful it is. You can watch this film without audio and understand it by its lighting, it’s that amazing. 10/10

Arrhythmia (Aritmiya) [Boris Khlebnikov, 2017, Russia] For a movie with characters of increasingly tenuous emotional bond, this is teeming with sensitivity and sensibility. It has so much love, neutrality, and longing, yet so cold and fleeting. Definitely, an emotional rollercoaster of my liking. 10/10

Shoplifters [Hirokazu Kore-eda, 2018, Japan] a film that questions if blood is thicker than the ties that bind us. Here’s Kore-eda capturing our hearts again with his gently-observed humanism. 10/10

Gusto Kita With All My Hypothalamus [Dwein Baltazar, 2018, Philippines] a genius anti-romance that plays along the lines of loving the thought of being in love and making yourself believe in your own ethereality. I love it. 10/10

Balangiga: Howling Wilderness [Khavn, 2017, Philippines] Disheartening and provocative in all its hypnagogia. 10/10

A Star is Born [Bardley Cooper, 2018, United States] If only for its music and its astounding performances, I'm already sold. 10/10

Oda sa Wala [Dwein Baltazar, 2018, Philippines] Is an ode to nothing, to the unseen, to the nobody, to the dead that's more alive than the living and to the living that's more dead than those who died. Baltazar has this gilt-edged technique that leaves its audience wretched yet buoyant. 10/10

The Shape of Water [Guillermo del Toro, 2017, United States] Elegant in its visuals, storytelling, and performances. It is del Toro’s best yet. 10/10

The Guilty (Den Skyldige) [Gustav Möller, 2018, Denmark] Is clever in its minimalism. A fast-paced action thriller and a psychological suspense, all shot entirely between four walls. 9.5/10

Hereditary [Ari Aster, 2018, United States] Unsettling down to the core with a convincing cast and a powerful storytelling. 9.5/10 

Batch 81 [Mike de Leon, 1982, Philippines] In its subversiveness and its sardonic undertone is a remarkable spectacle of expertise, bravery, esoterica, and dynamism. 9.5/10 

Dogman [Matteo Garrone, 2018, Italy] Examines a man's need to be recognized as a chihuahua in a shepherd's world. 9.5/10

BuyBust [Erik Matti, 2018, Philippines] a spectacular display of astounding filmmaking where every element is designed and choreographed fittingly well. Entertaining yet harrowing from start to finish, it's the kind of film that stays. 9.5/10 

God’s Own Country [Francis Lee, 2017, United Kingdom] Features a kind of romance with such carefully-observed realism. It was very well portrayed. Very well. 9/10

Sunday's Illness (La Enfermedad del Doming) [Ramon Salazar, 2018, Spain] Scene after scene of mesmerizing mystery and such powerful attention to detail. 9/10 

Annihilation [Alex Garland, 2018, United States] Though at times flawed, it ended with such thought-provoking, ambitious, and lasting impact. 9/10 

Captain America: Civil War [Joe Russo, Anthony Russo, 2016, United States] it’s hard to point out which part of the film I didn’t like, that’s if I hated anything. 9/10 

The Florida Project [Sean Baker, 2017, United States] Kids, no matter the social class, are still just kids in search for adventure, friendship, and love. This movie doesn't feel like a movie at all, it's brilliant. 9/10

Signal Rock [Chito Rono, 2018, Philippines] Very raw and phenomenal. Each character formidably plays an important role in characterizing a small town of heartwarming spirit. If not for its distracting bad CGI which I think is unnecessary, I’d give it a perfect 10. 9/10

Beti [P. Sheshadri, 2017, India] manages to oppose patriarchy in Indian culture in such an innocent yet intelligible perspective. 9/10 

Train to Busan [Yeon Sang-ho, 2016, South Korea] When everyone's becoming a monster, humanity is the way to survive. Fast-paced. Thrilling. Heartfelt. I honestly feel like Train to Busan lacks a stronger female character, but it's interestingly very human that I'm completely captured by it. 9/10

ML [Benedict Mique, 2018, Philippines] teeming with ingenuity and masteful filmmaking, it’s a suspense too relevant for anyone to miss. 9/10

Liway [Kip Oebanda, 2018, Philippines] Is at most powerful when it exposes the correlation of facts and fiction. Doesn’t hit you right away but when it does, it hits hard. It hits still. 9/10

Sicilian Ghost Story [Fabio Grassadonia, Antonio Piazza, 2017, Italy, France, Switzerland] Cinematic and poetic. Beautiful in all its mythological symbolism. 9/10

Get Out [Jordan Peele, 2017, United States] a satire of utmost significance, it lives. 9/10

Si Chedeng at Si Apple [Rae Red, Fatrick Tabada, 2017, Philippines] Hilarious with punchlines, intelligent with comebacks. This is comedy with brain, soul, and heart. 9/10 

Happy as Lazzaro (Lazzaro Felice) [Alice Rohrwacher, 2018, Italy] a charming small film with a subtext of such vivid social allegory. 9/10

I am Not a Witch [Rungano Nyoni, 2018, United Kingdom] For a debut film, this is quite a remarkable take on exploitation, abuse, and misogyny. 9/10

A Quiet Place [John Krasinski, 2018, United States] For a film that’s supposed to be silent, I find it quite overscored. Still a good watch though. 9/10

Ang Panahon ng Halimaw [Lav Diaz, 2018, Philippines] Sarcasm at its best. Quite fun. 9/10

L'amant Double [Francois Ozon, 2018, France] Wild and mindblowing, a film of endless curiosity. 9/10

Seklusyon [Erik Matti, 2016, Philippines] a thought-provoking jewel on the corruption of divinity and an examination of people’s inner evils. 9/10

BlackKKansman [Spike Lee, 2018, United States] Although satirically exaggerated, this film is teeming with entertainment and importance. 8.5/10 

In This Corner of the World [Sunao Katabuchi, 2017, Japan] It stays. Films like this, they always do. 8.5/10

Euthanizer (Armomurhaaja} [Teemu Nikki, 2018, Finland] An examination of how suffering is commensurate with cruelty. For something so bleak, it is surprisingly a good exemplification of moral values. 8/10

Padman [R. Balki, 2018, India] Speaks volumes in a humorous way. Something enlightening and empowering, I love it. 8/10

Gutland [Govinda Van Maele, 2017, Luxembourg] For a debut feature, Van Maele is a master of slow-burn tension. 8/10

The Square [Ruben Ostland, 2017, Sweden, Denmark] An ironic and satiric take on elitism, privilege, and humanity. 8/10

A Prayer Before Dawn [Jean-Stéphane Sauvaire, 2018, France, Thailand] For something that feels hesitant in showing violence, this is already quite a tough watch. 8/10

We Need to Talk About Kevin [Lynn Ramsey, 2012, United States]

A Taxi Driver [Hun Jang, 2017, South Korea] an entertaining yet affecting tribute to nameless heroes. 8/10

Memoir of War (La Douleur) [Emmanuel Finkiel, 2017, France] Sadly, its visual choices, experimental scoring, and drawn out structure don't match Marguerite Duras's poetic writing. 8/10

The Wound (Inxeba) [John Trengove, 2017, South Africa] More than the physical wound from a boy's transition to manhood, this movie tackles a deeper kind of pain, the kind that scars forever. 8/10

Pan de Salawal [Che Espiritu, 2018, Philippines] a hard-hitting reminder that the most painful challenges people overcome are also the most rewarding. Don’t be afraid to feel them all. 8/10

The Great Buddha+ [Hsin-yao Huang, 2018, Taiwan] Not sure if saying "this is my kind of humour" is something I should be proud of but damn this film is hilarious! Oh and really clever too. 8/10 

Leave No Trace [Debra Ganik, 2018, United States] a small film of massive authenticity and warm touch. It will leave a trace. 8/10

Manila by Night [Ishmael Bernal, 1980, Philippines] a classic representation of the realities of how Manila is a witness to the city's moral lethargy. 8/10 

Coco [Lee Unkrich, 2017, United States] Understands what La La Land doesn’t – relationships shouldn’t suffer when achieving our dreams. 8/10

Don’t Breathe [Fede Alvarez, 2016, United States] Alvarez has some serious skills to make this suspenseful with only a blind villain inside a small house. 8/10  

The Other Side of the Wind [Orson Welles, 2018, United States] Not for a Welles beginner but is surely a completist's delight. 7.5/10

Felicite [Alain Gomis, 2017, Senegal, Congo, France] With such lyrical tone, its narrative was thinly sketched that some of its elements don't match. 7.5/10

Malila: The Farewell Flower [Anucha Boonyawatana, 2018, Thailand] A beguiling narration of existentialism, redemption, and the philosophy of Buddhism. All told in such calming gaze, it's actually hypnotic. 7.5/10 

Revenge [Coralie Fargeat, 2018, France] Caution: explicit cursing while watching and cheering to this. 7.5/10 

Aria [Carlo Catu, 2018, Philippines] Could have gone deeper and darker to make a more harrowing but lasting impact. It borders on the safe side, but still able to tell something important. 7.5/10

Billie & Emma [Samantha Lee, 2018, Philippines] There's magic in its production design and an amusing chemistry that would remind you of what it's like to fall in love the first time. It is everyone's teenage romance, the kind that buries heteronormativity. 7.5/10

Of Love & Law [Hikaru Toda, 2017, Japan] Questions the intricacies of Japanese culture through a collection of simple yet meaningful moments. 7.5/10 

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom [JA Bayona, 2018, United States]

Saving Sally [Avid Liongoren, 2016, Philippines] Is the freshest and has the most creative visual style I’ve seen in a long long time. I want more of it. 7,5/10 

One Week Friends [Masanori Murakami, 2017, Japan]  There’s a good reason for my sunken eyes right now, right? 7.5/10 

Room 8 [James Griffiths, 2013, United States] Unique and smart. Too amazed, I had to share it with everyone. 7.5/10

Isle of Dogs [Wes Anderson, 2018, United States] A quirky imagination of a simple narrative, told in a hyper-stylized artistry. 7.5/10

Black Panther [Ryan Coogler, 2018, United States]

Hintayan ng Langit [Villegas, 2018] I'm not completely sold on a couple of its elements but boy, Gina Pareño is a gem. A sparkling one.  7.5/10  

Avengers: Infinity War [Anthony and Joe Russo, 2018, United States]

The Invitation [Karyn Kusama, 2016, United States] I know a psychological thriller like this is effective when I find myself so uncomfortable, wanting to leave, cautious of being brainwashed. 7.5/10

Ready Player One [Steven Spielberg, 2018, United States] Too amusing to the point of apathy. Still entertaining though. 7.5/10

Disobedience [Sebastian Lelio, 2018, Ireland] Depicts the beauty of internal turmoils and hidden desires, it’s gripping. 7.5/10

Apostasy [Daniel Kokotajlo, 2017, United Kingdom] the more it rolls, the more I loathe religion. 7.5/10 

Wonder Woman [Patty Jenkins, 2017, United States] More than it being a feminist is it being human and that I think is more important. 7.5/10 

Meet Me in St Gallen [Irene Villamor, 2018, Philippines]

Never Not Love You [Antoinette Jadaone, 2018, Philippines] Beautifully and realistically written. It’s just really hard for me to like Reid’s character. 7/10 

Eight Grade [Bo Burnham, 2018, United States] One of the most important and most natural teen movies of the year. 7/10

Cam [Daniel Goldhaber, 2018, United States] Pushing its flaws aside, this is actually quite an accomplished thriller of a possible near future. It didn't end with an impactful resolution though. 7/10

The Miseducation of Cameron Post [Desiree Akhavan, 2018, United States] Provocatively presents how emotionally abusing conversion therapy could be. 7/10

Crazy Rich Asians [Jon Chu, 2018, United States] Important and feel-good, but that's just it for me. 7/10

Distance [Perci Intalan, 2018, Philippines] a tender family drama with powerful performances of characters who choose to love no matter how wrong or right. 7/10 

Showroom [Fernando Molnar, 2014, Argentina] is a showroom of how beautiful and luxurious an artificial world could be. 7/10 

Contagion [Steven Soderbergh, 2011, United States] Believable but somehow lacking in its scare tactic. 7/10 

Zodiac [David Fincher, 2007, United States] Intelligent drama, boring thriller. Not a fan. 7/10

The Greatest Showman [Michael Gracey, 2018, United States]

Smaller and Smaller Circles [Raya Martin, 2017, Philippines] Suspense done right but there's something about its exchanges that seems unnatural. 7/10 

Pop Aye [Kirsten Tan, 2018, Thailand, Singapore] Is as slow but as heavy as its lead. 7/10

The Day After Valentine’s [Jason Paul Laxamana, 2018, Philippines] Brilliant in its canny use of language to illustrate people's tendency to miscommunicate emotions. 7/10 

Thoroughbreds [Cory Finley, 2018, United States] The kind of film that doesn't lead to what you think. It's black comedy of my liking. 7/10

Nearest and Dearest [Kseniya Zueva, 2017, Russia] displays the weakening social and moral values in contemporary Russian society. 6.5/10 

Hearts Beat Loud [Brett Haley, 2018, United States] Magical in its little ways. 6.5/10

Me Casé Con Un Boludo [Juan Taratuto, 2016, Argentina] Nothing much in here but laughter after laughter. 6.5/10

Delinquent [Kieran Valla, 2016, United States] a small-town thriller with a set location that breathes on its own. 6.5/10

Ang Babaeng Allergic sa Wifi [Jun Lana, 2018, Philippines] I thought it was just a cutesy take on appreciating moments and living life in the present, but heck no, prepare to find your tears falling. 6.5/10

Bakwit Boys [Jason Paul Laxamana, 2018, Philippines] a warm and light-hearted family drama with beautiful original songs to brag about. 6.5/10

Musmos Na Sumibol sa Gubat ng Digma [Iar Arondaing, 2018, Philippines] At times, it feels like it's trying too hard both to make a point and to sound subtle to a point that it feels a bit disconnected. 6.5 /10 

What If It Works [Romi Trower, 2018, Australia] Delightfully charming amidst the chaos of mental disorders. Works quite well. 6.5 /10

Eternity Between Seconds [Jan Alec Figuracion, 2018, Philippines] There’s comfort somewhere between the discomforts of bad acting here. 6.5 /10

Love, Simon [Greg Berlanti. 2018, United States] It’s a very familiar coming-of-age romance, but that familiarity is what made it stand out. 6.5 /10

Blockers [Kay Cannon, 2018, United States] Definitely my kind of humour. The sarcastic wit is overflowing. 6.5 /10

Alex Strangelove [CraigJohnson, 2018, United States] Nothing too new but isn't short of likeable. 6.5/10

Lobster Cop [Li Xinyun, 2018, China] Hilarious. I’d like it to be more brutal with its action scenes but it’s already otherwise quite entertaining. 6.5/10

Ant-man and the Wasp [Peyton Reed, 2018, United States] Funny as always, but I'm in love with Paul Rudd so I must be biased. 6.5/10

Kuya Wes [James Mayo, 2018, Philippines] explores the fundamental need of being appreciated in a light yet stinging narrative. I don't like a number of things, but the soundtrack works well, it's satiating. 6.5/10 

To All the Boys I've Loved Before [Susan Johnson, 2018, United States] There's substance in its shallowness, it's charming. 6.5/10

The Snow White Murder Case [Yoshihiro Nakamura, 2014, Japan] It’s a little too long to keep it entirely interesting. 6.5/10

Cardinals [Grayson Moore, Aidan Shipley, 2018, Canada] It was burning slowly until it was shot to the head. Could have been more painful if not for its loose ending. 6.5/10

Unli Life [Miko Livelo, 2018, Philippines] Not a fan of its comedic banters but I find its rare seriousness quite a gem. 6.5/10

The Cured [David Freyne, 2018, United Kingdom]

Sympathy for Mr Vengeance [Park Chan-wook, 2002, South Korea]

Berlin Syndrome [Cate Shortland, 2017, Australia, Germany] Cold and riveting with a third act that would push you to the edge. 6.5/10 

Wonder [Stephen Chbosky, 2018, United States]

12 Strong [Nicolai Fuglsig, 2018, United States] All that technical expertise and still end up saying nothing. 6/10

Goodbye, Grandpa [Yukihiro Morigaki, 2017, Japan] depicts the kind of mourning we tend to overlook and is only intensified by the bonding of family. 6/10 

Deadpool 2 [David Leitch, 2018, United States] Started off fun, ended up exhausting. 6/10

Bird Box [Susanne Bier, 2018, United States] a film with no emotional connection, no proper climax, and therefore no sensical resolution. 6/10

Madilim Ang Gabi [Adolf Alix, 2018, Philippines] seems like a show-off of stars after stars after stars playing bit roles to the point that it already feels unauthentic. 6/10 

Call Her Ganda [PJ Raval, 2018, Canada, Philippines] I'm not convinced of its storytelling, still an important one to watch though. 6/10 

A Million Happy Nows [Albert Alarr, 2017, United States] Despite the smallness of this film, it actually hits big. 6/10 

Bomba [Ralston Jover, 2017, Philippines] is brave in its defiance, bold in its commentary but it somehow failed to deliver. 6/10

Oceans 8 [Gary Ross, 2018, United States] Slow and mediocre, quite a waste of powerhouse cast. 6/10

Koxa [Ekrem Engizek, 2018, Turkey, Germany] Uninteresting for the kind of fact it exposes. 6/10

2 Cool 2 be Forgotten [Petersen Vargas, 2017, Philippines]

Beastmode [Manuel Mesina III, 2018, Philippines] ingenious and inventive but it’s not the kind I enjoy. 6/10 

Dedma Walking [Julius Alfonso, 2017, Philippines]

Can We Still Be Friends [Prime Cruz, 2017, Philippines]

The Belko Experiment [Greg McLean, 2017, United States] The experiment and the film are both pointless, but pointless sometimes is entertaining. 6/10

Hooked [Max Emerson, 2018, United States]

Sierra Burgess is a Loser [Ian Samuels, 2018, United States] I was enjoying it until its last act which felt rushed and unnatural. 5/10

Skyscraper [Rawson Marshall Thurber, 2018, United States] Plot after plot of action-packed impossibilities. 5/10

Glorious [Connie Macatuno, 2018, Philippines] Watching it is like riding a taxi cab with a clutch driver, it’s making me dizzy. 5/10

Rampage [Brad Peyton, 2018, United States] Feels like a bargain with nothing much to offer but cool CGI. 5/10

Je Ne Suis Pas Un Homme Facile [Eleonore Pourriat, 2018, France]  

Mga Mister Ni Rosario [Alpha Habon, 2018, Philippines] Entertaining but also miserably problematic. 5/10

Carrie [Kimberly Peirce, 2014, United States] Is quite an urban myth version of a school shooting. 5/10

Rough Night [Lucia Aniello, 2017, United States] Watched it on a plane, not sure if it's as fun if landed. 5/10

Bomba [Rolston Jover, 2017, Philippines] is brave in its defiance, bold in its commentary but it somehow failed to deliver. 5/10 

Avengers: Age of Ultron [Joss Whedon, 2015, United States] Boring with a capital B. 5/10

The Meg [Jon Turteltaub, 2018, United States] Mediocre. Very mediocre. 5/10

Final Score [Scott Mann, 2018, United States] It has potential but didn't quite scored a goal. 5/10

Uncle Drew [Charles Stone III, 2018, United States] I can't force myself to get comfortable watching this. 5/10

A Piece of Paradise [Patrick Alcedo, 2017, Canada, Philippines] It’s okay but there’s nothing much in there. 5/10

Happy Death Day [Christopher Landon, 2018, United States]

The Flu [Kim Sung-soo, 2013, South Korea] Stupid but fun. It's the kind of silly you enjoy. 5/10

Ali and Nino [Asif Kapadia, 2017, Azerbaijan, Georgia] Badly-acted, badly-designed production. Offers nothing much of excitement. 4/10 

Unexpectedly Yours [Cathy Garcia-Molina, Philippines, 2017] Fun at times. Corny at most. 4/10 

Forget About Nick [Margarethe von Trotta, 2017, Germany] is as if made as an example of movies that failed the Bechdel test from supposed to be feminist directors. 4/10 

I Love You, Hater [Giselle Andres, 2018, Philippines] I find its main plot gender insensitive so it’s a nope nope for me. 4/10

The Mumbai Siege: 4 Days of Terror (One Less God) [Lliam Worthington, 2018, Australia, India] That’s an annoying take on a siege that marked world history. 4/10

Life is What You Make It [Jhett Tolentino, 2018, United States, Philippines] For some reasons, I’m not sold on how it tries to inspire. 4/10 

We Will Not Die Tonight [Richard Somes, 2018, Philippines] If you're looking for brutal action and relentless stabbing where blood and sweat are like fireworks, go see it. If you're looking for sense or better fight choreographies, go somewhere else. 3/10 

Bleeding Steel [Leo Zhang, 2018, Hong Kong] Feels like switching between channels. 3/10

Citizen Jake [Mike de Leon, 2018, Philippines] Is like a collection of everything de Leon wants to try. Not effective at that. 3/10

On Again Off Again [Arsalan Shirazi, 2017, Canada, India] Undesirable characters in undesirable performances. 3/10

Jigsaw [Spirieg brothers, 2017, United States]

Tomb Raider [Roar Uthaug, 2018, United States] Impossible but fun. 3/10

Insidious (The Last Key) [Adam Robitel, 2018, United States] 

Pitch Perfect 3: Last Call Pitches [Trish Sie, 2018, United States] The worst of them all pitches. 3/10

When We First Met [Ari Sandel, 2018, United States]

Attack on Titan: Part 1 [Shinji Higuchi, 2015, Japan] Lacks character development, lacks plot continuity, it’s the movie adaptation disappointment of the decade. 3/10

Alright Now [Jamie Adams, 2018, United States] is said to be a feel-good movie but more like a feel-regretful for the time wasted watching this. 3/10

Hostel [Eli Roth, 2006, United States] Nothing here is pleasing. Not its concept, not its execution, and not even its gore. Down to the trash bin. 3/10

One More Chance [Cathy Garcia-Molina, 2007, Philippines] I’m sorry, I really can’t stand this movie. 3/10

Slumber [Jonathan Hopkins, 2018, United States] Is a snoozefest as simple as that. 3/10

In Un Giorno La Fine (The End?) [Daniele Misischia, 2018, Italy] Is funny in a bad way. 3/10

Peter Rabbit [Will Gluck, 2018, United States] RBF the entire freaking time. 3/10

You, Me and Him [ Daisy Aitkens, 2018, United Kingdom] Just one of those films that pass you by. 3/10

The Dawnseeker [Justin Price, 2018, United States] With that kind of premise, I honestly wanted it to be at least a decent watch. It isn’t. 2/10

Mara [Clive Tonge, 2018, United States] Generic. Mediocre. Forgettable. 2/10

Office Uprising [Lin Oeding, 2018, United States] Dumb. 2/10

School Service [Louie Ignacio, 2018, Phiippines] the intention is there but the concept isn’t concrete enough to be decently executed. 2/10 

The Strangers: Prey at Night [Johannes Roberts, 2018, United States] What a freaking stupid family that was. I could go on and on and on with my disgust towards this movie, but the bacon is cooked and bacon is more important. 1/10

The Matchmaker's Playbook [Tosca Musk, 2018, United States] a misogynist piece of bullcrap. 1/10

The Do-Over [Steven Brill, 2016, United States] Wow. That was boring. 1/10

Aswang [Michael Laurin, 2018, United States] a film perfect for when you can’t sleep. 1/10

The Lookout [Afi Africa, 2018, Philippines] is a joke after joke after joke, so unfunny, it deserves a laugh. 1/10 

[thejourneytolovefrancisrose]

(they actually skipped 10 numbers) 01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? The one I left... its alright. Not bad, not great. 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? one of my best friends 03: Do you regret anything? eh... regret is a funny thing... i just hope i continue learning and make fewer repeated mistakes 04: Are you insecure? yes 05: What is your relationship status? single FOREVER 06: How do you want to die? looking as much like a boy as possible 07: What did you last eat? ramen with spam 08: Played any sports? no 09: Do you bite your nails? yes 10: When was your last physical fight? a very long time ago 11: Do you like someone? no 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? probably 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? hate... well i get very angry regularly with someone right now 14: Do you miss someone? sure... my friends 15: Have any pets? no 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? sad, lonely, wish i could sleep without nightmares and sleep for longer spans of time 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? no 18: Are you scared of spiders? yes 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? no, going back in time wouldnt fix the one thing i wish would be fixed the most 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? a hotel 21: What are your plans for this weekend? see haikyuu the movie and sleep 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? yes, idk 23: Do you have piercings? How many? yes, at 6 right now. i had 9 at one point 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? anything not related to math lol 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? sure, my friends and my dad sometimes 26: What are you craving right now? sleep, clear skin, money 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? doubt it... maybe my parents from time to time 28: Have you ever been cheated on? never been in a relationship to be cheated on 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? ^see above 30: What’s irritating you right now? my roomate, my skin, my ability ti impuslively spend money i shouldnt. 31: Does somebody love you? my mom, some relatives... 32: What is your favourite color? black, purple, red, pink 33: Do you have trust issues? yes 34: Who/what was your last dream about? i dont remember. nothing good. lots of nightmares recently, typically trapped in a mall, lost and/or unable to escape something 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? BTS 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 2nd, 100th, all the chances that really arent chances because i dont trust anyone the first time 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? neither 38: Is this year the best year of your life? ... seeing BTS twice this year and got to sing Jungkook Happy Birthday so yeah, it is 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 18 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? no 41: Favourite food? tomatoes 42: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? i believe that the shit things that happen can be used to our advantage and end up being the things that, without them, we would never become strong enough to make it through many other things 43: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? washed my hands 44: Is cheating ever okay? no 45: Are you mean? often to myself, sometimes to others 46: How many people have you fist fought? too long to remember the last times i fist fought so... i have no idea. 47: Do you believe in true love? *shrug* i want to 48: Favourite weather? brisk air, cold enough to not sweat with multiple layers on, but not so cold that i cant be hang around not moving too long. 49: Do you like the snow? i can 50: Do you wanna get married? yes, but i dont think it will happen... 27 and never had a relationship yet 51: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? it can... 52: What makes you happy? BTS, naruto, good scenery 53: Would you change your name? i did already to Francis 54: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? i dont live near them and i dont want to so yeah 55: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? anyway the wind blows, doesnt really matter to me... but i would think i was dreaming and want to wake up 56: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? i cant act my complete self around anyone because i am not my complete self 57: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? sex or gender... in person or social media... i want to say a friend from one of my classes. 58: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? i dont know... 59: Do you believe in soulmates? *shrug* i want to... probably the only way i could end up with someone 60: Is there anyone you would die for? BTS, some of my friends, children, probably lots of people...

[jewishphilosophyplace]

Deleuze Leibniz Cosmogenesis

You would have thought it was Spinoza, but Leibniz turn out to be the beating metaphysical heart of the Deleuzian universe and its modelling of cosmogenesis, the creation of worlds (compossible and incompossible) around inflection points, the emission of singularities and series. While Deleuze is well-known among his readers for proposing the “univocity of being” and a radical conception of pure immanence, it is not always realized how that squares with the irreducibly pluralist character of Deleuzian thought. The univocity of being is only possible as a resonance communicated across singular points and bifurcating series brought to the highest possible pitch (that model is expressed in Difference & Repetition). Immanence is not the same as materialism, or even monism. Not a pure materialist, Deleuze plays with ideas, including, here in The Fold: Leibniz and the Baroque, the idea that there is one univocal matter riddled by multiple “souls” whose perceptions fold, unfold, and  refold that matter into pluriform configurations.

Deleuze is thinking with Leibniz about cosmogenesis, i.e. the genesis of a world composed of individuated percepts, sensations, and thoughts. Opposed as it is to Descartes, the world-fold, viewed as it is from inside a cave, remains, for all that, fundamentally dualist. Cosmogenesis starts in the dark, on a plane of consistency, as if in a baroque room made of black marble, and then fans out into light filled images. The dark room of matter is like a cell, a church, or a room. Light enters into the inside of the monad from the outside but with no view of the outside at all (pp.27ff). There is matter: spongy, perforated with holes through which light pores through and vibrates in its crannies.

The fold represents a unique contribution to arguments about mind/matter, soul/body dualism in both religion and philosophy. Against a simple monism, what distinguishes Leibnizian-Deleuzian substance-pluralism from Cartesian substance dualism is that Descartes presented two basic substances (mind/body) as both distinct and separable. With Leibniz, Deleuze makes the opposite point. Deleuze rethinks instead of rejecting the split between the one and the other. Body and soul, this and that, all those “things” are distinct and non-separable insofar as they belong to a single fold. The fold constitutes a labile formation, moving between distinct bodies and distinct souls, between outside and inside, between the façade and the closed room, between the free and billowing costume and the physical body. The fold is the tissue or texture, that inflection point connecting two distinct forms at their non-separation (pp.6, 35).

With his eye always on visual phenomena, the fold is recognized by Deleuze to be the Baroque figure par excellence. In the history of art and material culture, the reference is to wild folding and unfolding in the pleats of seventeenth century costume, undulating architectural columns and staircases, the thrust and pitch in the design and painting of that century. With not a scintilla of melancholy, for Deleuze the Baroque is all that energy plus a principle of cosmogenesis, particularly in relation to its opposite motion, the unfold. To unfold is to increase and to grow, whereas to fold is to diminish and withdraw into the recess of a world (pp.8-9). Like “flesh” in Merleau-Ponty perhaps, the Fold is between, moving about everywhere, between inorganic bodies and organisms, between organisms and animal souls, between animal souls and reasonable souls, between bodies and souls in general, always a part of the same fabric (p.13). Souls are “primitive forces,” “immaterial principles of life that are defined only in respect to the inside, to the self, “through analogy with the mind.” They exist everywhere, even in inorganic matter (p.12). Distinct as they are, but non-separable, body and soul “express” the one same thing, namely the world.

On this, Deleuze swerves with and then away from Leibniz. More important to Deleuze than to Leibniz is the idea of incompossibility. For Leibniz compossibility is represented in the harmony pre-established by a theistic God between multiple substances, an infinity of monads forming down to the smallest possible points. Incompossibility, also a theme (a minor one?) taken from Leibniz, is for Deleuze a way to develop his own understanding of the series, in particular, the idea of a bifurcating series. The possible worlds from among which Deleuze will have God choose the best possible world are incompossible with each other. For instance, the idea of Adam the sinner would be incompossible with the idea of another possible world, a world in which Adam did not sin. Rather than converge into a whole, all series eventually diverge one from the other. That is the basic difference between Leibnizian and Deleuzian thinking. The latter establishes a basic equality between incompossible worlds without a principle of selection with which to choose one over the other.

Each singular point in a series sets off a series composed of singular inflection points. Here’s what Deleuze means. We start with a series of inflection points or events. A series might consist of three such singularities: [1] Adam the first man, [2] living in the Garden, [3] a wife born from his rib [sic]. And then a fourth inflection point: [4] Adam is tempted by sin. But consider the inflection point where the series could diverge from the one we know. This would be the start of a new series. A fifth possible inflection point would be divergent, starting a different world in which [5] Adam resists temptation and does not sin, creating from that point on a completely different series. The world in which Adam did not sin would be a different garden, a different world diverging from and incompossible with our own. Deleuze calls this a “calculus or even a divine play at the origin of the world” (no doubt a reference to the image of the throw of the dice game in Difference & Repetition (Fold, pp.60-1; cf. Difference and Repetition???)

The structure of The Fold is worth a quick scan to get a sense of its undergirding metaphysical order and virtual coherence. Each single part is composed of separate chapters which I am combining together to make for a more quick exposition:

Part I starts with the fold between “matter” and “soul,” an introduction to these two different points at the level of the virtual. We are not yet in the actual world (not to be confused with “the real world”). Drawing on Paul Klee’s theory of composition, the analysis is modeled on the line composed of points. The singular inflection is “the pure Event of the line or of the point, the Virtual, ideality par excellence,” “not yet in the world,” “the World itself, or rather its beginning, as Klee used to say, ‘a site of cosmogenesis,’ ‘a nondimensional point,’ ‘between dimensions’” (p.14). The virtual inflection point moves through virtual transformations, lines folding into spirals, falling skyward and falling in on itself (p.15).

Part II moves from “inflection” to “inclusions.” An inclusion is an enclosure that enfolds different points of view. These are chapters on substance, unity and variation, worlds and the emission of singularities, incompossibilities, rules of convergence and, above all, divergence.  The move from inflection to inclusion is from world to subject but all folded up in to each other. The “world must be placed in the subject in order that the subject can be for the world,” this being the “torsion that constitutes the fold of the world and of the soul. What Deleuze means by this is expression, the incarnation of the virtual, the actualization of soul and the realization in matter (pp.25-6).

Part III speaks, finally, to incarnation, perception, to having a body. At the starting point are obscure and  infinite micro-perceptions from which emerge the clear macro-perceptions of the sentient individual, clear perceptions (e.g. color) out of differential relations. For Deleuze in all this there is something giddy and luminous in the unfolding “the folds of consciousness that pass through every one of my thresholds, the ‘twenty-two folds’ that surround me and separate me from the deep, in order to unveil in a single moment this unfathomable depth of tiny and moving folds that waft me along at excessive speeds in the operation of vertigo…I am forever unfolding between two folds, and if to perceive means to unfold, then I am forever perceiving within the folds (p.93). Perceptions have no starting point in existing objects insofar as there is no world outside its expression. Figures raise up out of the dust without objects. I perceive white that resembles froth. In this inverted Platonism, it is the resemblance that determines the object it resembles (pp.93, 94, 95, 98).

Readers of religion will want to look out for words like “giddiness” and “unveiling.” Because who is the “I” revealed as forever unfolding between folds? In his reading of Leibniz Deleuze is speaking in tongues (just like he does with Spinoza, Hume, Nietzsche, Bergson, and the painter Francis Bacon). One could just as well do the same reading Deleuze. The “I” in this passage could be transposed into any “I,” the I described by Deleuze as “revealed” in a single moment as an infinity of tiny, moving folds, the I unfolding between two folds. It could be a divine “I,” a human “I,” a woman I, a black “I” or a Jewish “I,” an animal “I,” a textual “I,” a Talmudic “I,” a Zoharic “I,” or any one of these singularities through another. Across a single plane of consistency, these philosophical personae and textual figures unfold as divergent series or bifurcating lines along singular nodal points as in Talmud, or on the model of an upper world in relation to a lower world, the folding into and unfolding out of the other, reverberating. Systems of religion would spread out ontologically as constellations of possible worlds, alternative worlds, incompossible worlds, doing and undoing, generating strange and different perceptions out of an obscure gloam riddled with spirits.

Lest any reader be confused, Deleuze will clearly signpost (the term is Gail Hamner’s) those points at which his thought diverges away from Leibniz and from the historical Baroque. In this grand narrative the “classical” world  is toppled under the pressure of divergences, incomposisbility, discord, and dissonance in a world in which “[b]eings are pushed apart”(p.81).  As conceived by Deleuze, the historical Baroque tried to reconstitute classical reason by dividing divergences up into multiple worlds, making from incompossibilities as many possible borders between worlds, resolved by “accords.” We are no longer Baroque. In contrast to the historical Baroque, the neo-Baroque would map worlds in which divergent series “unfurl” in one and the very same world, “incompossibilities on the same stage” where Adam will both sin and not sin. The emancipation of dissonance and unresolved accords is looked for, not combined into simple tonalities of the circle, but in the spiral, quoting Boulez, a “polyphony of polyphonies” (pp.81-2). “To the degree that the world is now made up of divergent series (the chaosmos), or that crapshooting replaces the game of Plenitude, the monad is now unable to contain the entire world as if in a closed circle that can be modified by projection.” More radical than that is opening “on a trajectory or spiral in expansion that moves further and further away from a center.” The last word of the book is that “We are still Leibnizian.” Even without “accords,” “what always matters is folding, unfolding, refolding” (p.137).

In this, we are, indeed, all still Leibnizians, even the Jews. But it’s at this point that one might refuse to step one step further, because some folds hurt too much.

About religion, we could look with Deleuze to that crisis in theological reasoning pushed to the brink by the memory and witness of catastrophic suffering leading to the collapse of the Leibnizian universe. Deleuzian thought remains staunchly opposed to any theodicy based on the play of possibility and plenitude, on the resolution of difference into a “universal harmony” (p.67). Instead of this, in a new fold of the neo-Baroque, Deleuze picks up on a more modern theme. The dissonance of the damned would be that “breath of vengeance, or resentment, a hate of God that goes to infinity,” but which for all that,  is “still a form of music, a chord –through diabolical– since the damned draw pleasure from their very pain, and especially make possible the infinite progression of perfect accords in the other souls” (pp.131-2).

This may be all too precious, too much like surrealist art, Artaud, and the Theater of the Cruel. As an expression of a theological concern, the status of this dissonance would depend upon whom one means by the damned whose pain is being staged here. Is one to mean the damned damned by God for whatever heresy, or the damned damned by “man.” Do the latter draw pleasure from pain? Do even the former? Does this have anything to do with why the truly violent and wicked prosper and why the innocent and righteous suffer? That can’t be what Deleuze meant, but the problem goes unaddressed. But to stay with the image as Deleuze has set it up, what would such a new harmony sound like that brings together and then splits apart the chorus of the damned and the hymns of the pious or that fold the one into the other and the other into the one? What makes Deleuze such an interesting voice for religious thought is this final consideration. For Deleuze, “the essence of the Baroque entails neither falling into nor emerging from illusion but rather realizing something in illusion itself, or of tying it to a spiritual presence that endows its spaces with (or without –zjb) a collective unity” (p.125, emphases in the original).

  http://ift.tt/2uwCF05

[pope-francis-quotes]

10th April >> (@RomeReports) #PopeFrancis #Pope Francis Relive the Celebration of the Passion of the Lord, which #PopeFrancis presided over on #GoodFriday. #EasterAtHome

Pope celebrates Passion of the Lord, as papal preacher reflects on Covid-19 pandemic

Pope Francis presides over the Celebration of the Passion of the Lord, with Fr Raniero Cantalamessa reflecting on the positive fruits that God draws forth from the coronavirus pandemic.

By Vatican News

The celebration of the Passion of the Lord took place on the evening of Good Friday in a near-empty St. Peter’s Basilica.

Pope Francis presided over the liturgy, which was live-streamed to the faithful across the world through media outlets and social media.

At the moment of the Adoration of the Holy Cross, only the Pope was able to venerate the Cross with a kiss, in compliance with measures to avoid the spread of Covid-19.

The Preacher of the Papal Household, Fr Raniero Cantalamessa, preached the Sermon, reminding everyone that God has plans for our welfare, and not woe, even in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic.

Below please find the full text of his Sermon:

“I HAVE PLANS FOR YOUR WELFARE AND NOT FOR WOE”

Sermon for Good Friday 2020 in St. Peter’s Basilica

St. Gregory the Great said that Scripture “grows with its readers”, cum legentibus crescit.[1] It reveals meanings always new according to the questions people have in their hearts as they read it. And this year we read the account of the Passion with a question—rather with a cry—in our hearts that is rising up over the whole earth. We need to seek the answer that the word of God gives it.

The Gospel reading we have just listened to is the account of the objectively greatest evil committed on earth. We can look at it from two different angles: either from the front or from the back, that is, either from its causes or from its effects. If we stop at the historical causes of Christ’s death, we get confused and everyone will be tempted to say, as Pilate did, “I am innocent of this man’s blood” (Mt 27:24). The cross is better understood by its effects than by its causes. And what were the effects of Christ’s death? Being justified through faith in him, being reconciled and at peace with God, and being filled with the hope of eternal life! (see Rom 53:1-5).

But there is one effect that the current situation can help us to grasp in particular. The cross of Christ has changed the meaning of pain and human suffering—of every kind of suffering, physical and moral. It is no longer punishment, a curse. It was redeemed at its root when the Son of God took it upon himself. What is the surest proof that the drink someone offers you is not poisoned? It is if that person drinks from the same cup before you do. This is what God has done: on the cross he drank, in front of the whole world, the cup of pain down to its dregs. This is how he showed us it is not poisoned, but that there is a pearl at the bottom of it.

And not only the pain of those who have faith, but of every human pain. He died for all human beings: “And when I am lifted up from the earth,” he said, “I will draw everyone to myself” (Jn 12:32). Everyone, not just some! St. John Paul II wrote from his hospital bed after his attempted assassination, “To suffer means to become particularly susceptible, particularly open to the working of the salvific powers of God, offered to humanity in Christ.”[2] Thanks to the cross of Christ, suffering has also become in its own way a kind of “universal sacrament of salvation” for the human race.

***

What light does all of this shed on the dramatic situation that humanity is going through now? Here too we need to look at the effects more than at the causes—not just the negative ones we hear about every day in heart-wrenching reports but also the positive ones that only a more careful observation can help us grasp.

The pandemic of Coronavirus has abruptly roused us from the greatest danger individuals and humanity have always been susceptible to: the delusion of omnipotence. A Jewish rabbi has written that we have the opportunity to celebrate a very special paschal exodus this year, that “from the exile of consciousness” [3]. It took merely the smallest and most formless element of nature, a virus, to remind us that we are mortal, that military power and technology are not sufficient to save us. As a psalm in the Bible says, “In his prime, man does not understand. / He is like the beasts—they perish” (Ps 49:21). How true that is!

While he was painting frescoes in St. Paul’s Cathedral in London, the artist James Thornhill became so excited at a certain point about his fresco that he stepped back to see it better and was unaware he was about to fall over the edge of the scaffolding. A horrified assistant understood that crying out to him would have only hastened the disaster. Without thinking twice, he dipped a brush in paint and hurled it at the middle of the fresco. The master, appalled, sprang forward. His work was damaged, but he was saved.

God does this with us sometimes: he disrupts our projects and our calm to save us from the abyss we don’t see. But we need to be careful not to be deceived. God is not the one who hurled the brush at the sparkling fresco of our technological society. God is our ally, not the ally of the virus! He himself says in the Bible, “I have . . . plans for your welfare and not for woe” (Jer 29:11). If these scourges were punishments of God, it would not be explained why they strike equally good and bad, and why the poor usually bear the worst consequences of them. Are they more sinners than others?

The one who cried one day for Lazarus' death cries today for the scourge that has fallen on humanity. Yes, God "suffers", like every father and every mother. When we will find out this one day, we will be ashamed of all the accusations we made against him in life. God participates in our pain to overcome it. "Being supremely good - wrote St. Augustine - God would not allow any evil in his works, unless in his omnipotence and goodness, he is able to bring forth good out of evil.”[4]

Did God the Father possibly desire the death of his Son in order to draw good out of it? No, he simply permitted human freedom to take its course, making it serve, however, his own purposes and not those of human beings. This is also the case for natural disasters like earthquakes and plagues. He does not bring them about. He has given nature a kind of freedom as well, qualitatively different of course than that of human beings, but still a form of freedom—freedom to evolve according to its own laws of development. He did not create a world as a programmed clock whose least little movement could be anticipated. It is what some call “chance” but the Bible calls instead “the wisdom of God.”

***

The other positive fruit of the present health crisis is the feeling of solidarity. When, in the memory of humanity, have the people of all nations ever felt themselves so united, so equal, so less in conflict than at this moment of pain? Never so much as now have we experienced the truth of the words of one of our great poets: “Peace, you peoples! Too deep is the mystery of the prostrate earth.”[5] We have forgotten about building walls. The virus knows no borders. In an instant it has broken down all the barriers and distinctions of race, nation, religion, wealth, and power. We should not revert to that prior time when this moment has passed. As the Holy Father has exhorted us, we should not waste this opportunity. Let us not allow so much pain, so many deaths, and so much heroic engagement on the part of health workers to have been in vain. Returning to the way things were is the “recession” we should fear the most.

They shall beat their swords into plowshares

and their spears into pruning hooks;

One nation shall not raise the sword against another,

nor shall they train for war again. (Is 2:4)

This is the moment to put into practice something of the prophecy of Isaiah whose fulfillment humanity has long been waiting for. Let us say “Enough!” to the tragic race toward arms. Say it with all your might, you young people, because it is above all your destiny that is at stake. Let us devote the unlimited resources committed to weapons to the goals that we now realize are most necessary and urgent: health, hygiene, food, the fight against poverty, stewardship of creation. Let us leave to the next generation a world poorer in goods and money, if need be, but richer in its humanity.

***

The word of God tells us the first thing we should do at times like these is to cry out to God. He himself is the one who puts on people’s lips the words to cry out to him, at times harsh words of lament and almost of accusation: “Awake! Why do you sleep, O Lord? / Rise up! Do not reject us forever! . . . Rise up, help us! / Redeem us in your mercy” (Ps 44, 24, 27). “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (Mk 4:38).

Does God perhaps like to be petitioned so that he can grant his benefits? Can our prayer perhaps make God change his plans? No, but there are things that God has decided to grant us as the fruit both of his grace and of our prayer, almost as though sharing with his creatures the credit for the benefit received.[6] God is the one who prompts us to do it: “Seek and you will find,” Jesus said; “knock and the door will be opened to you” (Mt 7:7).

When the Israelites were bitten by poisonous serpents in the desert, God commanded Moses to lift up a serpent of bronze on a pole, and whoever looked at it would not die. Jesus appropriated this symbol to himself when he told Nicodemus, “Just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life” (Jn 3:14-15). We too at this moment have been bitten by an invisible, poisonous “serpent.” Let us gaze upon the one who was “lifted up” for us on the cross. Let us adore him on behalf of ourselves and of the whole human race. The one who looks on him with faith does not die. And if that person dies, it will be to enter eternal life.

"After three days I will rise", Jesus had foretold (cf. Mt Mt 27:63). We too, after these days that we hope will be short, shall rise and come out of the tombs of our homes. Not however to return to the former life like Lazarus, but to a new life, like Jesus. A more fraternal, more human, more Christian life!

______________________________

Translated from Italian by Marsha Daigle-Williamson, Ph.D.

[1] Moralia in Job, XX, 1.

[2] John Paul II, Salvifici doloris [On the Meaning of Human Suffering], n. 23.

[3] https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/coronavirus-a-spiritual-message-from-brooklyn (Yaakov Yitzhak Biderman).

[4] See St. Augustine, Enchiridion 11, 3; PL 40, 236.

[5] Giovanni Pascoli, “I due fanciulli” [“The Two Children”].

[6] See St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologicae, II-IIae, q. 83, a. 2.

Topics

POPE FRANCIS

CORONAVIRUS

HOLY WEEK

LENT

LITURGY

10th April 2020, 19:03

[symbianosgames]

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

Reposted with permission from the Blendo Games blog.

I often describe Company of Heroes as the RTS that has made it difficult for me to play any other RTS.

There are a lot of things that make Company of Heroes special to me. Here are some of them.

Something memorable in Bungie’s Myth is in how bloodstains and scorchmarks are permanent:

The marks exist as a chronicle of sorts. Every moment stains the battlefield, ensuring you don’t forget a thing.

Company of Heroes takes that ideal and runs with it.

Buildings are chipped away until they’re ultimately destroyed, denying infantry a place to garrison:

Barricades can be smashed through, creating new paths for others:

Craters from artillery and explosions deform the ground, and become cover pieces for infantry:

Bridges can be destroyed (and repaired), opening and closing routes:

Your choices alter the battlefield, both intentionally and inadvertently. Sheltered bays are a flip-flop away from becoming deathtraps.

The terrain constantly shifts. Sometimes to your advantage, sometimes against you, but always in a way that makes the world alive, reactive, and consistent.

Like Relic’s previous RTS outing, Company of Heroes focuses on territory control. This is done through their resource model.

Here’s how it works:

Each map is split into a series of territories:

Each territory bears one control point:

Control points are captured with infantry units:

And owning more territory results in faster resource accural:

Simple, right?

But! There’s a gag. The gag is: a territory only produces resources if it has a contiguous connection to your headquarters. Think of it as electrical lines — if the chain has a missing link, the flow gets truncated:

It’s an elegant system. It is rules-light and possibilities-heavy.

It opens the door to cutting off large swathes of an enemy’s supply line. Dramatic moments of everyone fighting over one tiny hill are consistently produced.

But most crucially, it builds the game on a foundation of one thing: pushing players out of their bases and onto the battlefield. Company of Heroes is aggressively anti-chuffa and cuts straight to the chase.

The game starts, and the very first thing you do is the thing you’ll be doing for the entire match: push, expand, and capture.

Positioning

Infantry units can take cover behind any chest-high object — sandbag wall, a farm tractor, a haystack, a crater, you name it.

Cover grants a substantial defensive bonus, putting any unit out in the open at a disadvantage.

Emplaced weapons provide enough firepower to lock down an area, but have a limited firing arc:

Tanks are heavily armored in the front but are unprotected in the rear:

A basic fundamental part of an RTS is moving units around. With Company of Heroes’ design decisions, every move order is compounded with a pile of circumstances to consider.

It becomes geometry and angles, guessing and second-guessing.

Where do you think the enemy most likely is, and how do you orient yourself in a position advantageous to that?

How do you best use that rickety barn to block enemy sightlines to your weapon emplacement?

You’re going to have some blind spots, so which blind spots are the most acceptable risks?

And because all of these factors are represented by physical in-world objects, everything is instantly readable and intuitive.

Flanking

Which leads directly to where Company of Heroes shines particularly bright. If positions and cover are directional, it opens the door to flanking.

When the enemy’s forces are arranged to expect you coming from one direction, it becomes a veritable wall. A wall that shoots bullets.

And what better way to deal with a wall than to simply go around it.

Circling around and attacking from the side or the rear is something that Company of Heroes’ design revolves around. And that design choice pays off in an incredibly satisfying way.

Not only does it just feel good to break an enemy’s iron defense with a small clever move, but it gives a sense of flow to the battlefield. Like the shifting terrain and like the resource model, units are always on the move and in a state of flux.

This is a game where a basic move order is consistently a brutal way to destroy a fortified defense.

Retreating

With the tap of a button, you can order units to retreat to headquarters:

During a retreat, you have no control of the unit. They automatically decide the fastest route back to headquarters, and run. A retreating unit sometimes gets killed, but they are overwhelmingly successful in making it home in one piece.

It’s a design decision that, had I worked on this game, I would’ve raised a stink about. It opens up a can of worms. How could this possibly be balanced. The amount of design implications and edge cases is staggering.

With that said: retreating is one of Company of Heroes’ best design choices. It’s one of the mechanics I most admire in the game. As a developer, it’s an incredible feeling to see a potentially problematic design choice be executed with such skill.

There’s a lot of things to like about it. The thing I most appreciate is how it bolsters the storytelling aspect.

When a character dies, that is the end of their story. They were born. Then they died. The end. As a net whole, I feel dead characters just remove potential story possibilities. (It’s one of the reasons I subscribe to Tom Francis’ Failure Spectrum ideal)

On the other hand, giving the player the ability to easily and frictionlessly keep characters alive — not forever, but at least longer? This results in a storytelling machine.

You end up with a grizzled rifleman squad who took out two bunkers and a halftrack. You end up with heroic last stands with that machinegun crew you’ve had since forever. You end up with strong character attachment.

When your battle-scarred weapons crew gets taken out — oof! — you feel it in your bones.

Company of Heroes proposes what a RTS can be. It breaks down what an RTS is, trims off cruft that has glommed onto the genre over the years, and rebuilds it in a way that is fresh, new, and unusual in an exhilarating way. When I first played it, it had that feeling of playing a game decades ahead of its time, and arguably, it still does.

It feels dynamic, it feels alive. It’s one of those games that has blood pumping through its veins.

All of its components — the terrain deformability/destruction, the resource model, and its combat model — touch and play with one another. I can’t overstate how systemic it all is, and how all of its system overlap. The same map will produce dramatically different outcomes, every single time.

This highly systemic approach is the reason why after every match, my officemates and I at my old job would convene and talk about all the wild things that happened during the battle. These post-game chats are some of my fondest memories of working at Pandemic, and also some of my fondest memories in playing games.

There are many ways to tell a story. Company of Heroes is one of the most impressive examples I know of.

[pope-francis-quotes]

10th April >> (@VaticanNews) #PopeFrancis #Pope Francis celebrates Passion of the Lord, as papal preacher reflects on Covid-19 pandemic

Pope Francis presides over the Celebration of the Passion of the Lord, with Fr Raniero Cantalamessa reflecting on the positive fruits that God draws forth from the coronavirus pandemic.

By Vatican News

The celebration of the Passion of the Lord took place on the evening of Good Friday in a near-empty St. Peter’s Basilica.

Pope Francis presided over the liturgy, which was live-streamed to the faithful across the world through media outlets and social media.

At the moment of the Adoration of the Holy Cross, only the Pope was able to venerate the Cross with a kiss, in compliance with measures to avoid the spread of Covid-19.

The Preacher of the Papal Household, Fr Raniero Cantalamessa, preached the Sermon, reminding everyone that God has plans for our welfare, and not woe, even in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic.

Below please find the full text of his Sermon:

“I HAVE PLANS FOR YOUR WELFARE AND NOT FOR WOE”

Sermon for Good Friday 2020 in St. Peter’s Basilica

St. Gregory the Great said that Scripture “grows with its readers”, cum legentibus crescit.[1] It reveals meanings always new according to the questions people have in their hearts as they read it. And this year we read the account of the Passion with a question—rather with a cry—in our hearts that is rising up over the whole earth. We need to seek the answer that the word of God gives it.

The Gospel reading we have just listened to is the account of the objectively greatest evil committed on earth. We can look at it from two different angles: either from the front or from the back, that is, either from its causes or from its effects. If we stop at the historical causes of Christ’s death, we get confused and everyone will be tempted to say, as Pilate did, “I am innocent of this man’s blood” (Mt 27:24). The cross is better understood by its effects than by its causes. And what were the effects of Christ’s death? Being justified through faith in him, being reconciled and at peace with God, and being filled with the hope of eternal life! (see Rom 53:1-5).

But there is one effect that the current situation can help us to grasp in particular. The cross of Christ has changed the meaning of pain and human suffering—of every kind of suffering, physical and moral. It is no longer punishment, a curse. It was redeemed at its root when the Son of God took it upon himself. What is the surest proof that the drink someone offers you is not poisoned? It is if that person drinks from the same cup before you do. This is what God has done: on the cross he drank, in front of the whole world, the cup of pain down to its dregs. This is how he showed us it is not poisoned, but that there is a pearl at the bottom of it.

And not only the pain of those who have faith, but of every human pain. He died for all human beings: “And when I am lifted up from the earth,” he said, “I will draw everyone to myself” (Jn 12:32). Everyone, not just some! St. John Paul II wrote from his hospital bed after his attempted assassination, “To suffer means to become particularly susceptible, particularly open to the working of the salvific powers of God, offered to humanity in Christ.”[2] Thanks to the cross of Christ, suffering has also become in its own way a kind of “universal sacrament of salvation” for the human race.

***

What light does all of this shed on the dramatic situation that humanity is going through now? Here too we need to look at the effects more than at the causes—not just the negative ones we hear about every day in heart-wrenching reports but also the positive ones that only a more careful observation can help us grasp.

The pandemic of Coronavirus has abruptly roused us from the greatest danger individuals and humanity have always been susceptible to: the delusion of omnipotence. A Jewish rabbi has written that we have the opportunity to celebrate a very special paschal exodus this year, that “from the exile of consciousness” [3]. It took merely the smallest and most formless element of nature, a virus, to remind us that we are mortal, that military power and technology are not sufficient to save us. As a psalm in the Bible says, “In his prime, man does not understand. / He is like the beasts—they perish” (Ps 49:21). How true that is!

While he was painting frescoes in St. Paul’s Cathedral in London, the artist James Thornhill became so excited at a certain point about his fresco that he stepped back to see it better and was unaware he was about to fall over the edge of the scaffolding. A horrified assistant understood that crying out to him would have only hastened the disaster. Without thinking twice, he dipped a brush in paint and hurled it at the middle of the fresco. The master, appalled, sprang forward. His work was damaged, but he was saved.

God does this with us sometimes: he disrupts our projects and our calm to save us from the abyss we don’t see. But we need to be careful not to be deceived. God is not the one who hurled the brush at the sparkling fresco of our technological society. God is our ally, not the ally of the virus! He himself says in the Bible, “I have . . . plans for your welfare and not for woe” (Jer 29:11). If these scourges were punishments of God, it would not be explained why they strike equally good and bad, and why the poor usually bear the worst consequences of them. Are they more sinners than others?

The one who cried one day for Lazarus' death cries today for the scourge that has fallen on humanity. Yes, God "suffers", like every father and every mother. When we will find out this one day, we will be ashamed of all the accusations we made against him in life. God participates in our pain to overcome it. "Being supremely good - wrote St. Augustine - God would not allow any evil in his works, unless in his omnipotence and goodness, he is able to bring forth good out of evil.”[4]

Did God the Father possibly desire the death of his Son in order to draw good out of it? No, he simply permitted human freedom to take its course, making it serve, however, his own purposes and not those of human beings. This is also the case for natural disasters like earthquakes and plagues. He does not bring them about. He has given nature a kind of freedom as well, qualitatively different of course than that of human beings, but still a form of freedom—freedom to evolve according to its own laws of development. He did not create a world as a programmed clock whose least little movement could be anticipated. It is what some call “chance” but the Bible calls instead “the wisdom of God.”

***

The other positive fruit of the present health crisis is the feeling of solidarity. When, in the memory of humanity, have the people of all nations ever felt themselves so united, so equal, so less in conflict than at this moment of pain? Never so much as now have we experienced the truth of the words of one of our great poets: “Peace, you peoples! Too deep is the mystery of the prostrate earth.”[5] We have forgotten about building walls. The virus knows no borders. In an instant it has broken down all the barriers and distinctions of race, nation, religion, wealth, and power. We should not revert to that prior time when this moment has passed. As the Holy Father has exhorted us, we should not waste this opportunity. Let us not allow so much pain, so many deaths, and so much heroic engagement on the part of health workers to have been in vain. Returning to the way things were is the “recession” we should fear the most.

They shall beat their swords into plowshares

and their spears into pruning hooks;

One nation shall not raise the sword against another,

nor shall they train for war again. (Is 2:4)

This is the moment to put into practice something of the prophecy of Isaiah whose fulfillment humanity has long been waiting for. Let us say “Enough!” to the tragic race toward arms. Say it with all your might, you young people, because it is above all your destiny that is at stake. Let us devote the unlimited resources committed to weapons to the goals that we now realize are most necessary and urgent: health, hygiene, food, the fight against poverty, stewardship of creation. Let us leave to the next generation a world poorer in goods and money, if need be, but richer in its humanity.

***

The word of God tells us the first thing we should do at times like these is to cry out to God. He himself is the one who puts on people’s lips the words to cry out to him, at times harsh words of lament and almost of accusation: “Awake! Why do you sleep, O Lord? / Rise up! Do not reject us forever! . . . Rise up, help us! / Redeem us in your mercy” (Ps 44, 24, 27). “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (Mk 4:38).

Does God perhaps like to be petitioned so that he can grant his benefits? Can our prayer perhaps make God change his plans? No, but there are things that God has decided to grant us as the fruit both of his grace and of our prayer, almost as though sharing with his creatures the credit for the benefit received.[6] God is the one who prompts us to do it: “Seek and you will find,” Jesus said; “knock and the door will be opened to you” (Mt 7:7).

When the Israelites were bitten by poisonous serpents in the desert, God commanded Moses to lift up a serpent of bronze on a pole, and whoever looked at it would not die. Jesus appropriated this symbol to himself when he told Nicodemus, “Just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life” (Jn 3:14-15). We too at this moment have been bitten by an invisible, poisonous “serpent.” Let us gaze upon the one who was “lifted up” for us on the cross. Let us adore him on behalf of ourselves and of the whole human race. The one who looks on him with faith does not die. And if that person dies, it will be to enter eternal life.

"After three days I will rise", Jesus had foretold (cf. Mt Mt 27:63). We too, after these days that we hope will be short, shall rise and come out of the tombs of our homes. Not however to return to the former life like Lazarus, but to a new life, like Jesus. A more fraternal, more human, more Christian life!

______________________________

Translated from Italian by Marsha Daigle-Williamson, Ph.D.

[1] Moralia in Job, XX, 1.

[2] John Paul II, Salvifici doloris [On the Meaning of Human Suffering], n. 23.

[3] https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/coronavirus-a-spiritual-message-from-brooklyn (Yaakov Yitzhak Biderman).

[4] See St. Augustine, Enchiridion 11, 3; PL 40, 236.

[5] Giovanni Pascoli, “I due fanciulli” [“The Two Children”].

[6] See St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologicae, II-IIae, q. 83, a. 2.

Topics

POPE FRANCIS

CORONAVIRUS

HOLY WEEK

LENT

LITURGY

10th April 2020, 19:03

[symbianosgames]

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

Reposted with permission from the Blendo Games blog.

I often describe Company of Heroes as the RTS that has made it difficult for me to play any other RTS.

There are a lot of things that make Company of Heroes special to me. Here are some of them.

Something memorable in Bungie’s Myth is in how bloodstains and scorchmarks are permanent:

The marks exist as a chronicle of sorts. Every moment stains the battlefield, ensuring you don’t forget a thing.

Company of Heroes takes that ideal and runs with it.

Buildings are chipped away until they’re ultimately destroyed, denying infantry a place to garrison:

Barricades can be smashed through, creating new paths for others:

Craters from artillery and explosions deform the ground, and become cover pieces for infantry:

Bridges can be destroyed (and repaired), opening and closing routes:

Your choices alter the battlefield, both intentionally and inadvertently. Sheltered bays are a flip-flop away from becoming deathtraps.

The terrain constantly shifts. Sometimes to your advantage, sometimes against you, but always in a way that makes the world alive, reactive, and consistent.

Like Relic’s previous RTS outing, Company of Heroes focuses on territory control. This is done through their resource model.

Here’s how it works:

Each map is split into a series of territories:

Each territory bears one control point:

Control points are captured with infantry units:

And owning more territory results in faster resource accural:

Simple, right?

But! There’s a gag. The gag is: a territory only produces resources if it has a contiguous connection to your headquarters. Think of it as electrical lines — if the chain has a missing link, the flow gets truncated:

It’s an elegant system. It is rules-light and possibilities-heavy.

It opens the door to cutting off large swathes of an enemy’s supply line. Dramatic moments of everyone fighting over one tiny hill are consistently produced.

But most crucially, it builds the game on a foundation of one thing: pushing players out of their bases and onto the battlefield. Company of Heroes is aggressively anti-chuffa and cuts straight to the chase.

The game starts, and the very first thing you do is the thing you’ll be doing for the entire match: push, expand, and capture.

Positioning

Infantry units can take cover behind any chest-high object — sandbag wall, a farm tractor, a haystack, a crater, you name it.

Cover grants a substantial defensive bonus, putting any unit out in the open at a disadvantage.

Emplaced weapons provide enough firepower to lock down an area, but have a limited firing arc:

Tanks are heavily armored in the front but are unprotected in the rear:

A basic fundamental part of an RTS is moving units around. With Company of Heroes’ design decisions, every move order is compounded with a pile of circumstances to consider.

It becomes geometry and angles, guessing and second-guessing.

Where do you think the enemy most likely is, and how do you orient yourself in a position advantageous to that?

How do you best use that rickety barn to block enemy sightlines to your weapon emplacement?

You’re going to have some blind spots, so which blind spots are the most acceptable risks?

And because all of these factors are represented by physical in-world objects, everything is instantly readable and intuitive.

Flanking

Which leads directly to where Company of Heroes shines particularly bright. If positions and cover are directional, it opens the door to flanking.

When the enemy’s forces are arranged to expect you coming from one direction, it becomes a veritable wall. A wall that shoots bullets.

And what better way to deal with a wall than to simply go around it.

Circling around and attacking from the side or the rear is something that Company of Heroes’ design revolves around. And that design choice pays off in an incredibly satisfying way.

Not only does it just feel good to break an enemy’s iron defense with a small clever move, but it gives a sense of flow to the battlefield. Like the shifting terrain and like the resource model, units are always on the move and in a state of flux.

This is a game where a basic move order is consistently a brutal way to destroy a fortified defense.

Retreating

With the tap of a button, you can order units to retreat to headquarters:

During a retreat, you have no control of the unit. They automatically decide the fastest route back to headquarters, and run. A retreating unit sometimes gets killed, but they are overwhelmingly successful in making it home in one piece.

It’s a design decision that, had I worked on this game, I would’ve raised a stink about. It opens up a can of worms. How could this possibly be balanced. The amount of design implications and edge cases is staggering.

With that said: retreating is one of Company of Heroes’ best design choices. It’s one of the mechanics I most admire in the game. As a developer, it’s an incredible feeling to see a potentially problematic design choice be executed with such skill.

There’s a lot of things to like about it. The thing I most appreciate is how it bolsters the storytelling aspect.

When a character dies, that is the end of their story. They were born. Then they died. The end. As a net whole, I feel dead characters just remove potential story possibilities. (It’s one of the reasons I subscribe to Tom Francis’ Failure Spectrum ideal)

On the other hand, giving the player the ability to easily and frictionlessly keep characters alive — not forever, but at least longer? This results in a storytelling machine.

You end up with a grizzled rifleman squad who took out two bunkers and a halftrack. You end up with heroic last stands with that machinegun crew you’ve had since forever. You end up with strong character attachment.

When your battle-scarred weapons crew gets taken out — oof! — you feel it in your bones.

Company of Heroes proposes what a RTS can be. It breaks down what an RTS is, trims off cruft that has glommed onto the genre over the years, and rebuilds it in a way that is fresh, new, and unusual in an exhilarating way. When I first played it, it had that feeling of playing a game decades ahead of its time, and arguably, it still does.

It feels dynamic, it feels alive. It’s one of those games that has blood pumping through its veins.

All of its components — the terrain deformability/destruction, the resource model, and its combat model — touch and play with one another. I can’t overstate how systemic it all is, and how all of its system overlap. The same map will produce dramatically different outcomes, every single time.

This highly systemic approach is the reason why after every match, my officemates and I at my old job would convene and talk about all the wild things that happened during the battle. These post-game chats are some of my fondest memories of working at Pandemic, and also some of my fondest memories in playing games.

There are many ways to tell a story. Company of Heroes is one of the most impressive examples I know of.