#at this point im just gonna buy in bulk

[kingbiwing]

me saying “i spent 350€ on cocaine in 30 days" is actually just a statistical error.

i spent 70€ within the first 21 days.

the 4 grams i got within the past 9 days are outliers and should not have been counted.

[theriverbeyond]

nothing hits like my favorite dumpling and noodle spot thank you and goodnight

[satoruly]

𝘿𝙍𝙀𝙎𝙎 𝙃𝙄𝙈 𝙐𝙋 .ᐟ.ᐟ

costumes that the jjk men would wear for halloween

includes. toji fushiguro, satoru gojo, suguru geto, kento nanami

tags/warnings. fluff, no curse!au, i like to think gojo's is a college au too, suggestive, mentions of oral in toji's, gojo is called a slut (jokingly), fake blood.

a/n. i love satoru i swear and suguru's is so cheesy idk if i cringe or not idc i think he's lovely. mdni banner by @/cafekitsune

got a request? click here !!

𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗼𝗻 '𝗴𝗵𝗼𝘀𝘁' 𝗿𝗶𝗹𝗲𝘆 ₊˚⊹ 𝘁. 𝗳𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗴𝘂𝗿𝗼

“I look ridiculous.”

“I bet you don’t,” you spoke from where you sat on the bed, legs crisscrossed as you waited for your boyfriend to come out from the bathroom “Just show me”

He had taken longer than you thought to get ready, longer than you had, but in retrospect, you guess you should’ve seen it coming with the amount of belts you had handed to him and no instructions to work with, you guess it was really on you. 

“This was a mistake.” He mumbled through pursed lips once he came out, looking off to the side, his slightly overgrown hair obscuring his eyes. Without the vest and belt, it was practically an everyday outfit for him, a navy blue hoodie with a pair of blue cargo pants. The latter did differ from his day-to-day wear but it was okay, he was gonna wear his New Balance sneakers once you were ready to leave so it cancelled out. 

“I want to suck your dick so bad right now.” 

“I look like a glorified back-pack”

“Where did you learn the word glorified?” You joked, though only half-heartily because you were too busy staring at your boyfriend’s thighs concealed by not only way too tight pants but by very tight garters. You wished he would keep them on the daily. Luckily though, your primitive brain had no completely taken over and so you were able to process his lack of response to your off-handed blow job proposition.

“Im wearing kneepads like a fucking loser.” He raised his knee to emphasize his point, letting his foot rest on the ottoman at the end of the bed and practically throwing the skeleton mask you hadn’t noticed he had been holding on top of the covers. 

You stood up, gave him a once look over and walked towards him cupping his face with your palms. One of your thumbs rubbed the skin of his cheek now coated by a very subtle pink, one you’d only be able to notice if you squinted. 

“You don’t look like a loser, personally I think you look very very hot,” you assured him, “but if you really don’t like it you don’t have to wear it, we can find something else for Satoru’s party.”

He huffed, unconsciously leaning against the warmth of your palms, eyebrows still twisted into a frown. “It’s not that, just— you’d really suck me off dressed like this?”

You hummed, giving him a light peck on the lips before trailing your hands down his chest, ignoring the plate carrier that bulked him up more than he already was. 

“Like now?” You could hear the smirk in his voice, the usual sultriness it carried back where it was meant to be.

“Depends,” you pondered, biting back a smile at the suggestiveness. “How long ‘till we have to leave?”

He cursed at the number of pockets he had to go through before finding his phone stashed on the back of his pants, eagerly examining the time and then showing the lit-up screen to you. “Like 30 minutes.”

“Then sure,” you looked up at him, not breaking eye contact as you undid his utility belt, letting it fall to the floor before slowly working to unzip his pants. “I’ll be quick."

𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 ₊˚⊹ 𝘀. 𝗴𝗼𝗷𝗼

“I was gonna buy the tights but the imprint of my d—”

“Okay! We are changing the subject…” You almost slapped your palm over your boyfriend’s mouth before he could continue. Successfully [stopping] Shoko and Utahime from hearing the not-so-safe-for-work details of your costume shopping trip.

Looking back, it was kind of funny. Satoru wasn’t all that fond of superheroes but one singular video of a hot guy on his fyp was more than enough to convince him he was willing to commit to the transformation. In reality, you’re sure he just wanted to wear the tights. That's why he almost cried when all the ones at the costume shop turned out too small to cover his ankles.

He had tried his best to make it work but to no avail and had settled instead for a black pair of cargo pants, and though they weren’t the classic Nightwing tights he had envisioned, you swore they were so much better.

“It’s nice,” Shoko pointed out, taking a drag of her cigarette, directly juxtaposing her surgeon costume. The scrubs and lab coat she wore were likely taken from the faculty of medicine last minute. “Thought you’d use Halloween as an excuse to dress up sluttier though.”

His offended gasp almost made you burst out laughing, the hand you had used to shut him up still muffling his dramatics.

“Oh, he’s a slut alright.” You joked, now resting your hand on his chest and taking a sip of your drink to hide your smile as your boyfriend decided to run with your joke.

“Yeah exactly,” he chuckled, leaning against your head and smushing his cheek in the process and circling one of his arms around your waist. He couldn’t spend a single moment not touching you, and though you played tough, you couldn’t help but lean against his touch every single time. “It’s the energy.”

And it sure was. Even if his current costume was way more tame than the bunny boy one he had chosen last year, he was still giving ‘slut’.

Although you were quick to shut down his previous comment, you’d be lying if you said the mildly accurate costume didn’t do things to you. For one, props to him for making progress at the gym. The loose material stretched out over his thighs every time he made the slightest flexing motion. Sitting, standing, going up the stairs, no matter what he did was a sight for sore eyes. Then, you had the compression long-sleeved he wore. Though it technically was a “costume” and not a compression shirt, it still hugged his arms and chest so deliciously you swore you could moan. 

And of course, how could you forget about his ass. 

“And what are you supposed to be?” Utahime asked, looking at your pleated pants, loose light blue shirt with most of the top buttons undone, and a pair of sunglasses.

“A slut.” You shrugged, enjoying their confusion until it finally clicked.

“You’re dressed as him!”

𝗵𝗼𝘄𝗹 𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗼𝗻 ₊˚⊹ 𝘀. 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗼

“Nope, we need another one.” 

Suguru groaned in dismay, so close to banging his head against the door frame as you rejected yet another costume you had suggested, or more so, insisted he should wear. At this point of the day, he was sure his skin was sore from the constant friction of multiple garments’ fabrics. 

“Why? I think this one’s good.”

You tilted your head, looking him up and down before pursing your lips. You won't deny he looked good. He always looked good. But, “We’re going to a costume party.”

“So? This is a costume.” 

“Yeah but…” You trailed off, wondering if he’d take personal offense for the comment you were about to make regarding his fashion sense. “It kinda just looks like you.”

Now it was time for him to tilt his head in confusion, squinting at you as if to prompt you to elaborate and you sighed before continuing, “Besides the boots, actually, no, you do use those, it's pretty much a normal outfit for you.”

He looked down at himself, eyes meticulously scanning every inch of his body to then look up at you. “I’ve never worn a poet shirt before.”

“But the vibe,” you pointed at him up and down with your hand, “is there.”

“What vibe? Suguru Geto from the 19th century?”

“Ish? Yeah.” You agreed, standing in front of him to fix the collar of his shirt. “You look like you belong in a romanticism painting minus the high-waisted pants, which fyi make your ass look great.”

He chuckled, turning around to stand in front of the full-body mirror next to your vanity to check himself out, subtly taking a peak at his ass. It did look really good in those pants.

“Let me try the necklace and you can decide.” He grabbed the thin chain and gave it to you for help. Holding his hair up, he couldn’t yet again chuckle at the reflection as you tried to stand up on your tip toes to hook the clasp around his neck. 

It added some depth, he thought. The white shirt and black pants combo was something he would wear. The added jewellery made it look a little less like him, but the matching earrings were still missing.

“—and I know what you’re thinking, so I got these.” 

You stretched your palm in front of him, a pair of new gauges resting on it. Unlike his, they weren’t black, more so a pale golden color. 

“They match the color of the necklace and if you want to wear the earrings you can loop them through there.” You pointed out, and upon closer inspection, once he held them in his hands, he could see there was a little hole at the bottom of them. “But you can also not wear them if you don’t wanna, thought it'd be a nice detail.”

“I thought you weren’t sure about the costume,” he kissed the top of your head, mumbling ‘thank you’, and carefully slipped off the ones he was wearing. The way you beamed as he started doing so didn’t you escape him, and it made him all the more eager to try them on even if they felt cold against his skin and were out of his comfort zone. He had never really been a fan of gold on himself.

“Eh, I might’ve been more committed than I let on.” You hugged his waist, looking at him through the mirror as he grabbed Howl’s dangly earrings. He looked pretty. “What do you think? Looks good?”

He hummed, shaking his head slightly and chuckling at the earrings swishing against his skin. He wasn’t used to wearing those, it felt funny. “It’s still missing something though.”

“What’s missing?” You asked as he moved fully in front of you. He pressed his thumb in the middle of your furrowed brows before kissing your forehead and then giving you a quick pick on the lips.

“The matching promise rings.”

𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗯𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗻 ₊˚⊹ 𝗸. 𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗶

“You’ve always wanted to murder your coworkers, now you can pretend you have!”

“I’m never wearing this outfit again.”

“See! You can even make the references, it’s perfect.”

But you had to give it to him, it would be much more of a costume if he wasn’t wearing a suit that closely resembled what he used to wear for work. A fitted black suit, a crisp, freshly ironed shirt and a red tie, everything covered up by a transparent raincoat. And to be fair, the plastic did make a funny noise whenever he walked. 

The only missing piece of the costume was the blood, which led you to where you were, standing over old newspapers in case you stained the kitchen floor. 

“You’re enjoying this way too much.” He shook his head as you walked around him with a bottle of fake blood, excitedly pouring the runny liquid into strategic places for it to look organic like he had actually killed someone. He wasn’t a Halloween nor a dress-up fanatic per se, but the promise of a good costume party had set you off into a never-ending search for the perfect costume until you had finally settled on one. The perfect one.

You nodded at his words, carefully creating a couple of splotches with a paintbrush before you could finally admire your masterpiece. “Now the only thing we are missing is your face?”

“Pardon?”

“We gotta put some blood on your face.” You said sitting up on the counter, careful not to knock down the FX makeup kit you had gotten. Making space between your legs, you pulled him from his belt loops towards you, and automatically, his hands positioned themselves right on top of your hips. Without you needing to tell him, he leaned closer to you, lowering his height just enough for you to reach his face properly.

“That was not part of our deal.” Yet, he stayed as still as possible as you used a smaller dropper to carefully apply the liquid to his temple close to his hairline. 

“Close your eyes.” He did as you said, and you proceeded to imitate the splotches without staining his whole face, just his forehead and cheeks. Some of it dripped down his eyebrow and towards his eye, but you caught it fast enough for it to not stain his lashes. Hopefully, that’d be the only ‘liability’ you’d experience for the night, you really didn’t want his shirt to stain. “And we are done!”

You grabbed your phone and turned on your front camera for him to look at himself.

“What do you think?”

He stared at his reflection for a couple of seconds trying to figure out if he liked it or not. While he did so, he couldn’t help but subtly flicker from you back to him a couple of times, looking at your eyes creasing in excitement. The warm smile on your lips was contagious, the way you scrunched your nose when he kissed your forehead as if scared he’d get ‘blood’ on you too cute, and so he couldn’t help the gentler one that appeared on his. 

“I like it a lot.”

© all works belong to satoruly

[da-shrimping-station]

Cooking for the House of Lamentation

Let me start this post by saying that over the years I've had plenty of experience cooking for a lot of people. I'm no expert cook whatsoever, just a helping hand in the kitchen during festivals and occasions (which happens multiple times in a year). If you have more experience and insights, please feel free to share!

Let’s start this off by having some sort of baseline so we’re all on the same page.

MC /OC/you/us/we (and what have you) can:

follow a recipe well enough

be in the kitchen and not have it burn down

cook an edible meal at the end of it all

A fairly average cook if you will.

Now, time for chaos.

Cooking for a lot of people is…a lot. A feast for upwards of 10 people can take the whole day. Not to mention buying ingredients beforehand. How many dishes are you gonna cook? Do they go well/compliment each other? What’s the serving size? Are you gonna have desserts too? Do you have the right equipment? Are the ingredients available/accessible? Is there anyone who has a food-specific condition to look out for and make alternatives for? Are there ingredients that need to be marinated/prepped in advanced? Is everything within budget? (These are some questions at the top of my head)

Now the main concern here is volume/quantity. Beelzebub. Need I say more?

Actually, YES. It’s a house full of men. Men eat a lot. Oh, and they’re also demons. So let’s assume they eat/consume significantly more than humans. (You can pitch in your HCs for each brother regarding how much they eat) But let’s say the food has to be for 10-15 people at the very least.

GROCERY RUN!

There’s a whole ass booklet for the groceries, with each brother having their own page/section. Let’s assume there’s no budget constraints (Lucifer can bitch about the cost and budgeting but his brothers need to be fed). Groceries are bought in bulk. Multiple times a week. Emergency trips in the middle of the night or else they starve for breakfast. 

At some point they get their groceries delivered every 3 days or so. The runs are now for necessity/emergency.

But if a brother requests a certain dish, then it’s time to go to the market. Prepare your haggling skills.

THE BATTLEFIELD

Based off of the game (and referencing the floor plan from Wanderer’s Whereabouts), the kitchen is actually pretty spacious. Good. We need all the space we can get for this. I’d like to think Barbatos personally made sure the kitchen is fully kitted out with all the equipment and utensils one needs. (Thanks, Barbs. You’re the best!) No worries on that end.

I headcanon that the kitchen is split into 2 parts: the side where the stoves and appliances are and the side where the dirty kitchen is. That way you have access to stoves/ovens and the fancy appliances as well as being able to cook with coal or in a spit. Increases the capacity for cooking multiple dishes at once. (Please share your HCs for the kitchen!)

PREP TIME

Prepare your hands and arms. Washing, peeling, chopping, dicing, slicing, marinating. Any and every sort of ingredient prep. How many ingredients does this dish have? Are you gonna prep one dish only? Are you gonna prep for two in advance? Mis en place (or whatever the term is im no culinary shrimp)

Also think about the sheer amount of ingredients.

Say, according to the cookbook, this dish serves 5 people and it needs 1 whole onion. Pretty straight forward right? But you’re cooking for 7 demon brothers and one being the Avatar of Gluttony. Let’s go back to the 10-15 people approximation. That means you have to increase the amount (in this case that’ll be 2 or 3 whole onions). That goes for every fucking dish. 3 onions for dish #1. What about dish #2 and #3 and so on? (Honestly, your hands must be well marinated by the time you’re done with all the prep)

Measuring the ingredients too. 1 cup of this, a tablespoon of that, a pinch of this. Please please please let there be enough soy sauce for tonight’s cooking.

Another thing: you’re probably dealing with local Devildom ingredients (which you did not even know existed until then)

Veggies? Sliced

Meats? Washed and cut.

Condiments and seasonings? All measured.

Are we ready to cook? NO.

Please clean up the peels, excesses, undesirables, and packaging.

GET THE FIRE GOING

Finally! The actual cooking part! Take a deep breath and put that pot on the stove. Good luck cuz you’re gonna be juggling between multiple dishes just to be able to get ready for dinnertime.

One dish is boiling so the meat softens? Time to fry. Oh and have you checked the one you were marinating? Please add that to the veggies in dish #2. Don’t overcook the pasta for dish #1! Please adjust the heat, that pot is boiling over. Taste test for dish #3. Hhm needs more salt. Is the meat soft enough? Good, let's season it. Please mind the fire! You’re gonna char the one you’re frying. This one has marinated long enough, we can add it to dish #2. Take dish #1 off the heat. I think it’s done. Do you think this is fried well enough?

It’s hectic. It’s a mess and a half. You make sure nothing is overcooked or undercooked. Taste test to make sure everything tastes fine. (are the dishes safe for human consumption tho)

ALL DONE!(?)

You wish! Now you have to deal with the clean up!

Wash everything you used for cooking. Pots, pans, knives, measuring cups and spoons, plates and bowls you put the ingredients in, the tasting spoons you used, the ladles and spatulas, etc

Please clean the stoves, sinks, countertops/tabletops too.

Oh yea, put away the excess ingredients and return the condiments and seasonings.

You still there? Still got energy to study and do homework later?

Personally, i clean as i go whenever i have the time in between tending to the dishes. I hate hate hate a messy/dirty kitchen while i cook it makes me wanna rage

DINNERTIME

These fuckers better sit down and eat what you cooked. No. Who the fuck cares if someone is being rowdy or moody or being dramatic. NO ONE wastes your efforts in preparing the food. Sit down and EAT.

I mean alright, maybe you can tag team dinner prep but it’s still a lot in terms of quantity and sheer volume. Will that brother be of actual help in the kitchen?

To sum it all up,

May the Universe have mercy on MC when they’re on cooking duty.

[solarwynd]

at first i was really annoyed by all the discourse surrounding muse’s (omg i almost wrote face we really are in a new era 😭😭😭) performance on the charts and the competition, but honestly i think its better for everyone to get all of this out of their systems now and check their expectations for the future.

i say this with the least bit of negativity, just looking at the facts, the chances of muse “outperforming” face in terms of global and us sales is slim. not only have there been big changes to how chinese fanbases make mass orders but also harsher restrictions in the us. as a sort of point of comparison, nj’s rpwp sold globally slightly less than indigo despite having two whole additional versions and sold a LOT less in the us despite physicals releasing the same week and the extra versions.

now, this isn’t to say a miracle can’t happen if we try our hardest but with how things have been going it feels like people around here are gonna be miserable if he doesn’t top face’s performance. i do think that a little bit of delusion is helpful though, for LC genuinely no one could have imagined a #1 being possible and it was so who knows. we certainly don’t have the same tools now but i do think there’s a lot of strength in numbers so we all just need to be on the same page. we’ll have to see how things go with the prerelease track and gauge what needs to be worked on. i do think we could aim for top 50 for the tt, and that would be amazing. we should also lean into our strengths and rn that is streaming which would give us a really nice boost over other competitors.

again, im not saying any of this to be negative or pessimistic, i just think that at this point we need to accept what our limitations are in order to enjoy this fully. he doesn’t have to prove himself to anyone and he will do better than 90% of kpop acts, especially in the US. the rest is just talk from people on the internet who quite literally have nothing better to do, let’s be honest here. fortunately, morale will likely tick up tomorrow once people have the track list to talk and theorize about.

Jimin’s Chinese fanbase wasn’t active for FACE. He was the only member that still had above 1M sales (from the ones who did over 1M initially) when those numbers were removed. And in the US, there’s not really any strict regulations on buying albums apart from the initial no bulk buying one. The real restrictions come with hot100. But Jimin’s greatest advantage is that he has a large pre existing US fanbase.

I agree with you though. Even with the tunnel vision like optimism I’m choosing to have, I’m still grounded in realism about what could happen with MUSE.

[n7punk]

"I'm not going to catalogue all the posters," I said, like a liar. Okay, listen, I'm working on a new post speciically for promo giveaways or con-exclusives (versus merch you could generally buy), and the posters will be a part of that. I'm not posting it yet because I'm gonna gather more stuff (or at least try to) first, but I'll walk back up the long post's reblog chain to before my last addition when/if I find more official merch because of that.

also. I did find more official merch from Bioworld but I'm not adding it to the long post, it will just go straight on the master post since they're still for sale. the master post is coming, but i'm trying to make it "concise" and focus on information, so I will still be adding to the long post with visuals until then since i'll be linking it from the master post for photos.

we kind of threw some ideas around about making a static blog page or site with the full master post, and if that ever comes to anything then it can have the photos integrated with the info like I'm doing for the promo merch post, but the nice thing about the real merch post is some of it is still active and can be linked directly. and having a regular post that can be shared around is helpful too. regardless of what i do, i'm certain i'll miss something and have to add it later since it seems like i find one new weird thing a day, but i'm trying to get ahead of that bulk first. what went from curiosity has turned into a fullscale need to Categorize

also also. it's been pointed out in tags/replies but it seems especially relevant when i'm drawing a line between "purchasable" merch and promo merch: as far as i can tell, all the She-ra merch was US-exclusive. there might be exceptions for stuff like the Her Universe lines if they shipped international, but in general it's especially hard to get your hands on outside of the US, so the distinction between "real" merch and promo stuff matters less if you're interested in what you can Get Now, but im more interested in what Exists, and why, and especially why was it only available that way, Mattel, answer me

[0ystercatcher]

finally the other topic thats been on my mind. the food. oohhh the food. enormous post warning. i hope to god the read more works.

ok for starters. its good. i cant complain. variety and spread were pretty great (goes so hard to have diaspora from all over the world in your country you literally can get anything if you know where to look), quality was good, portions are INCREDIBLY generous even considering price most of the time, and price is....fine. i hated it bc again exchange rates fucked me over but i didnt see anything... outrageous anywhere we went to OTHER than the baseball game but that i expected and was prepared for so i didnt like, insta vomit when i saw the menu. i didnt try nearly everything i wanted to but, well, i have limited space in my tummy.

there were... some questionable items. at the store. like, ham with cheese inside it that looked like it had some kind of pox. all sorts of um. wrong looking. gooey cheese products. all very yellow and with a scary toxic look to them. i did eat the cheetos tho they were fine and acceptably orange.

like... im sorry. this isnt ok. this shouldnt exist. this is wrong.

there were also all sorts of what id consider, niche? not very high circulation? products. that looked interesting. also cheeses, this time delicious and amazing (im still so pissed i left the horseradish cheddar i wanted to bring home in ks fridge), great great snacks, treats of all sorts (some good some eh?), all kinds of baking ingredients and cooking ingredients, so many dry spices and powders and seasonings. asian ingredients and mexican ingredients seemed greatly favored which tbh was appreciated bc there was stuff id never seen before that got me very curious + i found my fav mexican candy which i missed. also, chicken is p cheap over there, i was surprised its basically as cheap as it is here, maybe slightly cheaper even. all in all, tbh, you can eat pretty well buying fairly cheap and healthy items with...not many problems. like...a big big bag of kale was like...4 usd. thats so good. chicken and tuna and sardines were cheap. pasta is cheap as hell as it is everywhere. veggies and fruit are kind of hit or miss but i think thats somewhat seasonal as it is everywhere. canned food is cheaper there too?? not bad at all. next time i want to go to a costco and see how it goes to buy stuff in bulk, it looks promising.

idk where im going w this post so now im just gonna list the memorable meals or treats or ingredients i sampled/had over there (inconsistent list bc some are homemade meals made by moi + k but whatever) and rate them. i cant put these on a normal list bc im breaking the character limit so please bear with my horrible formatting.

baseball game hotdog: 7/10 disappointingly small for the...10? 11? usd it cost. nice mustard and onions on top. NO MAYO. ketchup and relish were Fine. at least 2-3 points of the score are just the fact it was a true baseball hotdog and my first one at that. the experience is very important for this one. i cherished that more than most other things in this "meal" so id feel bad rating it lower.

baseball garlicky fries: 8/10. again 3 points for the experience and novelty of it being baseball food. i think they were 9 dollars. ok portion. CRAZY AMNTS OF GARLIC YUM. pretty tasty. NO MAYO THO!!

double cheese burger + fries + onion rings + peanut butter milkshake: 10/10. true american meal. enormous burger. couldnt finish anything other than the milkshake and k helped w that + i was about to genuinely frow up by the time i tried the last spoonful of it. the whole thing i think was about 25-30? usd each? i dont even care. it was delicious, i think the mayo was made by the restaurant itself, it was so good. beef patties were great. vegetables were great. pickles were really good. gooey ass american cheese was great. fries were crazy. onion rings were perfect. just delicious. will go again next time im there.

pho + spring rolls: 5.5/10. not bad at all. but i think pho was greatly overhyped. i ordered it w tendon and tripe which was nice to have in the us bc i know they dont like organ meats at all. it was ok. its one of those soups that i guess gets better kinda by the end when its all gotten mixed up and nicely flavored. ive had better soups though. sorry i fumbled the tip.

sushi: 8/10. nice! didnt try even close to all the options but the eel was DELICIOUS + the maki sushi was good and, honestly, very well portioned. i dont like when the maki sushi is huge esp when im trying to sample many types. and some of the salads and soups....hell yes. good price! comparable to nice sushi places here, i didnt feel it was scandalous. im giving it an 8 bc it was tasty as fuck, but i do have a comment on this. i think the us does the same thing we do which is, they shove a bunch of ingredients into maki sushi to make new ones with a lot of shit in them and im not the biggest fan of that so i didnt order those. i like simple sushi. the ones i ordered were really good tho. 8/10 for those, i dont think ill order the other ones unless i was feeling suuuper experimental. same as it ever was.

deluxe kraft mac and cheese, orig cheddar: 5/10 without adding anything to it, solid 6 with better cheese + bbq sauced hot dog in it. see we had just watched the jerma reviews mac and cheese video and we happened to find this at the store so obviously we had to try it. it was just normal mac and cheese. i think american kraft has a stronger and kinda. nastier. cheese flavor in it. so we added real cheese and other things and it was better. solid dinner.

mcdonalds: mcdonalds/mcdonalds. its mcds. it tastes the same everywhere apparently. it was fine. fresh fries were nice tho.

taco bell chicken quesadilla: 2/10. i dont really like taco bell and i kind of objected to this meal and only had a little bit. flavorful in weirdly wrong ways. not Offensive but, yknow, a strong I Would Prefer Not To. also, made me a little bloated even with lactaid to help me cope.

various food items at family meeting: 7/10. im not rating them individually there were too many, this is an average. the ones that stood out were: crispy crispy bacon for brekky. biscuits and gravy. funeral potatos? thats what they called it i think? the yogurt + fruit + maple syrup granola bowl and the smoked trout. i think this is because it was a family thing, but if not i guess it still applies? homemade american dishes are so fucking rich. im not sure i could stand eating like that every day. i know by the end of the weekend i was like.. i need normal salad. i need some rice. this cant go on forever. still, i enjoyed every dish i tried. tasty stuff!

sweet corn we roasted in a fire: 10/10 brother i love sweet corn and oonnhh hhn the butter on it. yea man. its good.

special coffee drink + bagel w cream cheese: 7/10. very generous bagel for like...under 3 usd. 3rd worlder ass price for the crazy amnt of cheese it had imho and like, i shared it with k and i was still very satisfied with the portion i got. the coffee drink was very nice. i have no idea what that woman put in it other than the 2 large espresso shots and ice i saw she added. tasty tho! and she was nice. sorry i was very bad at understanding your accent. i realized im still not at all used to that.

espresso + chocolate truffle: 9/10 just what i needed after the fish and chips feast. beautifully smooth coffee, good crema, smelled good, tasted good. great texture, good price. 8 usd for...2 espressos and 2 truffles. i think thats more than acceptable, esp in the highly touristy area we were in. the truffle itself i think was a little ordinary but paired so well w the coffee the whole thing was a win. lovely to have it next to the sea w my love after stuffing ourselves full w fish and chips. speaking of which.

fish (cod and calamari and shrimp) and chips + cider: 10/10 my god. my god. this rivals peruvian jalea. i never believed it would be possible. but it is. it was great. fresh out the fryer, pleasantly greasy but not excessively so. great flavor. great fish. nice portion. amazingggg cider and really nice tartar sauce. just what i needed after walking around for a couple hours. just a great fucking meal. will def go again if i can.

glazed? powdered? donuts? we got at the store? i dont remember the brand or name but i was curious so i grabbed a thing and k said they were pretty good: 2/10 meh. they were... whatever. i think i had one w breakfast and then i sort of gave up on them. kind of dry and too dense for a donut. maybe they were cake donuts? i dont know. i shouldnt have strayed from dunkin, im sorry dunkin. ill never let you down again.

salt vinegar chips: 10/10 one of those snacks i just. would compulsively buy if i lived there. like this would be my go to snack. they hurt the roof of my mouth but its worth it also i like the sourness bc it makes me pace myself a little.

normal ruffles: ruffles/ruffles. i like a good wavy potato chip. what can i say. i enjoyed them.

american bacon: 8/10. i understand why the us has crazy rates of cardiovascular disease. i get it. maybe its worth it. it gets one whole point solely bc of the crazy amnt of fat you can render out of it, bacon fat was Not Lacking while we cooked and i thank the bacon for this, because thats a great ingredient to have around imho.

tap water: 10/10. preddy good!

mexican limes: 2/10. im actively racist against these citrus fruits. so much flesh, no juice. they did their job and tasted Fine I Guess but they were still lame. peruvian lime or nothing baby.

fuji apples: 8/10. im fujiapplepilled. theyre nice. crispy. go well with peanut butter. yum! nice that they are grown there.

cheetos: 5/10. i had the puffs and the normal..crispy ones? non spicy bc i dont like the spicy ones. i was satisfied. theyre better than ours. still not the best snack but i was curious. bigger portion than im used to. i think i would simply not let children have them though.

beef hot dogs, from the store. in and without bun: 9/10 broooo americans are just good at these. they put like actual meat in them. theyre dense. theyre large. delicious stuff. versatile enough, reasonably priced. if this isnt their national pride it should be. wish i could have brought a pack home. my fam would love these.

some kind of mexican chorizo thing: 4/10. it was ok. k had this in the fridge when i got there? its like salchicha huachana but less good, less fresh, less colourful and less flavorful. it did what we needed it to do, i didnt dislike it. it was just. fine.

ranier beer: 7/10. yum! pleasant. slightly sweet. a fine drink for a warm sunny day. great with snacks or other treats.

pabst blue ribbon: 6/10. yum also! i liked rainier a little better tho.

the 2 ipas i had: 0/10. the only thing i had that i actively disliked. yuck. just nasty stuff.

wait i forgot

jeppsons malort: -1/10. @worldlytutor why the fuck did you buy that. that shit tasted like rat poison fr. throw that shit away rn if you still have it.

[rotteneldritchhorror]

wait we’re allowed to ask about south park? fuck it tell me your south park headcanons fuckboy

well shit this is gonna be a long post because i dont just love the main boys (love is a strong word for some of em) but i also love random obscure characters and even background characters that never speak soooooo....

also! before i start! i mostly headcanon these characters under the idea that theyre like- 19 since i dont have many thoughts other than canon for while theyre the age theyre at in the show itself

Kenny (starting with my favorite who i project the most onto i think): 5'9, pansexual (and romantic), genderfluid girlboything princessgender princessboy genderfuck genderpunk ADHDgender hypererotigender wingedgender transfemme who steals money from their parents to buy estrogen off of like- amazon in bulk and probably sells some to other transfemmes with shitty parents who wont let them transition. for pronouns, is definitely fine with any and all, literally impossible to misgender this creature, but prefers he/she/they/it/xe/ze/angel pronouns. probably started growing his hair out at like 15 and gave up on trying to keep it short and managable, steals makeup from the dollar store for both herself and it's sister, definitely goes punk at some point (all of his pants are crust pants cause they dont get washed /j), and has a shit tonne of patched clothing both for necessity (he still owns his parka even though hes too big for it, probably cut up the sides and sized it up with a bunch of old clothes that dont get used anymore in the family, definitely has stick and poke tattoos (he probably gave a cute lil bow or heart stick and poke tattoo to Karen and angelself a matching one so theyd always have a reminder of each other no matter what) and definitely is the resident bootleg piercer for those who wanted them when they were younger but their parents didnt let them (Craig, stan, probably kyle, definitely tweek) or those who just straight up dont have the money to get professionally pierced. full of many disorders, specifically: autism, ADHD, bipolar, c-ptsd, BPD, combined generalised and focal photosensitive epilepsy, and probably some level of psychosis from all the trauma and drugs

(thats so much and its just one character lol- welcome)

i dont have many hcs about the other 3 main boys?

Kyle: asexual (sex-favourable or indifferent), biromantic, 5'11, transneu agender enby who uses he/they pronouns. has ADHD and his canonical diabetes

Stan: 5'10, bi demiboy and nonbinary man who uses he/they/it pronouns. Puerto Rican/asian/white mixed (i flip flop between east asian or south-east asian, or both- but we vibe). has depression ADHD, BPD and autism, probably got more into grungy/fairy grunge/whimsigoth fashion as he got older, or at least tries to marry goth, grunge and hippie fashion cause he definitely still holds the values associated with those subcultures, probably got suppppeeerrr into politics and protesting at some point, probably steals signs, probably collaborates with Kenny to steal from big stores (just kenny does it to survive and stan does it out of principle)

Cartman: 5'4 and VERY insecure about it, bi and transfemme but like super hyper closeted (i think he probably eventually gets more chill with his own sexuality, but is super super mega bigoted about literally everyone else. him being into men is fine but anyone else is a fag (derogatory). i have hcs for his disorders but i feel like listing them automatically sounds like im demonising them when im not

Butters: 5'5 (and eric fucking HATES her for it), demisexual and pan, nonbinary genderqueer genderfae bungender/traumabungender sanriogender hellokittygender autigender transfemme demigirl who uses she/they/he/bun/soft/lu/🌸/🌈/☀️/🌧/🫧/🪻/🩰/🧼/🎀/🌀 pronouns. has... so many disorders. Autism, c-ptsd, ptsd, night terrors, dissociative amnesia, DPD, delusional disorder, Alice in Wonderland syndrome and a complete blindness in his left eye (for kinda obvious reasons? maybe?). bun changes their name (legally) to Marjorine Leopold Stotch as soon as she turned 18 (without her parents permission), but still uses the nickname Butters because it doesnt feel that gendered to lu. soft sometimes has delusions of being in VR or dead. His parents refuse his diagnoses because it means they did something wrong (which they obviously did lol) so they dont give him medication, Marj mainly gets 🌸s meds from Kenny, Tweek, Tammy Warner (from that one episode where kenny gets a girlfriend whos a 'slut'), and the goth kids (most of them because they have been perscribed the medication, or, in Kenny's case, because they buy/trade perscription drugs). started transitioning without 🌈 parents' knowledge.

Craig: 5'11, gay and demiromantic, outerspacetix voidgender/agender man who uses he/it pronouns. is just- very mixed- its indigenous/south-east asian/peruvian/black/white and is adopted. has ASPD and autism. his 'exception people' (i dont know if thats the official phrase for it, but people with ASPD apparently can have certain people that bring out strong emotions in them- dont take my word for it though, this is second hand info from someone with ASPD i used to watch on tiktok lol) are Tweek, Thomas (from the tourrettes episode) and Stripe (yes, his guinea pig- sh). he's pretty okay at masking emotions when he needs to (mostly to make his boyfriends feel better and in an attempt to sooth their anxieties). he probably starts getting into grunge/punk at some point during his teens- he probably has a patch jacket/battle jacket thats covered in a mix of political and astrology/space related patches. his spin is space, absolutely.

Clyde: 5'8, spanish/east asian bi man (i go back and forth on whether or not to make him cis or trans or like demiboy??? or just a nonbinary man??? idk- just masc), uses he/they/it pronouns and has ADHD and PTSD.

Jimmy: 5'11, Cupiosexual, demiromantic (both bi oriented), is a cis or genderqueer guy and mainly uses he/him but doesnt really care much if you call him anything else, probably has a couple birth marks and cooovveerrsss his crutches in stickers (he probably has a bunch of random stickers related to all kinda shit, 2/3s of which arent even his, he has like- a shit tonne of stickers related to space, and robots, and dark academia, and hearts, and super heros, or whatever the fuck because his friends just give him stickers sometimes)

Tolkien: 6'0, genderfaun enby, omni with a preference for feminine people, has autism and ADHD, uses he/they pronouns, and has a couple scars from canon events (eg; a scar on his forehead from when cartman pelted him with a rock, and a gunshot scar on his shoulder from cartman shooting him)

Tweek: 5'8, nonbinary tweekgender (namegender) demiboy, gaygaygaygaygay, uses he/they/it/tweek/tic pronouns. has ADHD, autism, anxiety disorders and a panic disorder, paranoid personality disorder, C-PTSD, claustrophobia, tourettes and psychosis. he gets triggered by coffee if he hasnt been around coffee for a while (after a while it becomes less triggering and more part of the constant anxiety and paranoia), has psychotic delusions and hallucinations of bugs, the smell of coffee, gangstalking, etc. hes weirdly friends with the goth kids????? tic hangs out with them (as well as Kenny, Craig and butters) a lot, getting to traumadump, rant about anxieties, and just kinda gossip? and it helps it mellow out a bit. (also tweek has a bunch of scars to do with scratching tics, ripping out piercings, etc)

Wendy/Wendyl: 5'9, south east asian, bi, genderfluid/genderfaer, uses she/they/he/fae pronouns and is autistic. her spin is politics and feminism, he has a couple (brightly colored) patch clothes (definitely a pair of patch shorts and a patch skirt). has a couple scars on their knuckles and one on their cheek from fights she's gotten into (both in canon, and during protests or general people fucking with her). fae definitely does kickboxing and probably hosts an underground self defense class for non-men.

i can probably get into more obscure characters now but this is already long enough and im slowly running out of spoons so im kinda done for now

thank you for listening to my autistic ramblings :)

[bakurapika]

went ham at aldi just getting 10 of the things i like, because i don't shop enough and it's not gonna go bad and i won't find it cheaper elsewhere so why the hell not

one of my vices lately is that i'll be out of groceries (and be like ahh well at least im saving money) and then get hungry enough to go to the gas station and spend $15 on like 2 pastries and a drink. ive been idly thinking about if i could just buy those same pastries in bulk, it would save so much money at this point

well!

aldi had a bunch. not quite as good but still. so i got like half a dozen boxes idk

eating one now and it tastes like victory

[rocket-candy-heart]

I am already stressed about needing an outfit for a wedding that isn't going to happen for another year

[bratkook]

She hath given us permission to thirst

I have this super specific scenario in my head oki here we go. So it would be a soft JK but borders himbo territory (realizes he is attractive but never really does anything with it). So him and OC have been together for almost a year and they done *stuff* but not gone all the way (not that they don’t want to buy they just wanna wait for the perfect time) OC gets a letter about an early high school reunion happening and tells JK and tell him something along the lines of “haha at least I can flex my super hot, super kind boyfriend on all the old mean girls” as a joke. JK takes it kinda seriously and in the month leading up to the reunion he is working on bulking up as much as he can because a) he wants to help you enact your revenge and b) he has a raging size kink (yes, I am projecting). OC doesn’t question it cuz he has been talking abt getting bigger for a while and plus why would she complain if her gorgeous boyfriend got ripped for fun. That is until the night of the reunion when OC is in this cute knee-length dress and JK is in a black-fucking-button down and fitted slacks that used to be loose on him o.O they are both drooling at each other until they realize they’re gonna be late. Once they get there and are almost at the door JK pulls OC aside and is like “I’ll make you proud tonight” WITH A FUCKING WINK AND SMIRK WITH HIS HAND ON HER BACK LEADING HER INSIDE THE SCHOOL. At this point OC is super flustered but she continues to show her man around and introduce him to ppl (idk how JK would feel I’ll leave that to your imagination). It’s when she goes to get them some snacks that the mean girls she was talking abt approach JK and try to shoot their shot and mentally JK is like “fuck yea this is my time to shine” and flexes and stands a bit taller, Yknow really reel them in, and then he drops the “yeah I’m here with the love of my life she’s over there looking all pretty”. For my own satisfaction I imagine these girls are absolutely shocked and jealous and OC makes a show of having his arm around her and putting her hands on him. I think in the high of getting her revenge they would get extra handsy which turns both of them on and they leave the party early to go back to their place (after she sucks him off in the car). Once they are home it is just clothes thrown every where, heavy breathing, hands all over each other until JK picks up OC and takes her to their room. He would sit them both on the bed and oh my god I can’t even type the dirty talk I’m imagining he would use 👀 (once again I’ll hand that off to you). First I think he would make her ride his thigh and cum like that and then for their first time have her ride him so she can set the pace. Every inch she would take he would whisper little praise and once she is fully adjusted he would help your bounce on him until they both get more and more needy and he ends up holding her in place and pounding into her. They would be all tangled up with each other when they finish and during the aftercare they would reminisce on their success and finally discuss the reason behind JKs bulking cuz I think it’s be hilarious and fluffy (I might expand on this in a future ask) omg I’m so sorry this is so long o hope you like it tho

ok wait no….im into this….pls feel free to tell me more 👀

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers Kuji  B Prize: Drama CD 1 ー “Bath Bubble Panic”

Original title: DIABOLIK LOVERS B賞1 ドラマCD「Bath bubble panic」

Source: Diabolik Lovers Kuji Drama CD ー Bath Bubble Panic [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Toriumi Kousuke, Midorikawa Hikaru & Katsuyuki Konishi

Translator’s note: This track had me rolling. Sometimes I wonder why the DL writers decided to go for a dark fantasy, because it’s clear that they have some real talent for comedy. xD Huge props to whoever writes the scenarios of these CDs because they never fail to get a huge smile on my face.

This track was requested by ​@diabolik-addictor​! If you would like to request a translation, please contact me through IMs or drop an ask!

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Reiji: No. I am not buying it.

*Rustle*

Ayato: Why not!?

Reiji: Is that even a question? What is the point in buying something so utterly useless?

Ayato: Butーー! With this bad boy, I can eat takoyaki in a matter of seconds!

*Rustle*

Reiji: Ayato...It seems like you are misunderstanding something. That is definitely a tool to make takoyaki. However, the takoyaki will not magically appear when you turn it on.

Ayato: ...? What do you mean?

Reiji: ...Haah...I mean that from the obvious preparation of the ingredients and pouring them on the plate, you’ll have to flip them around till they bake into their round shape all by yourself.

Ayato: ...

Reiji: Have you given up?

Ayato: Sounds fun! Just like I thought, this tool was made for me!

Reiji: ...Haah...

*Rustle rustle*

Shuu: Nn...Shut up...

Ayato: ...Ah? Shuu, you’re finally awake.

Reiji: I would argue you are at fault for sleeping out here? Day after day, you do nothing but laze around without ever lifting a single finger. I wonder where you get the nerve to do so.

Shuu: Pwaaah...

Ayato: Oi, Shuu! ...You want this too, don’t you?

Shuu: Haah? A takoyaki maker? I don’t give a damn.

Ayato: See!? Shuu wants it as well!

Reiji: Did he not clearly state his disinterest right now? ...For one, you are the one always bringing useless items into this manor, Ayato. Have you forgetten about the pile of junk you stuffed into the closet? 

Ayato: That’s a whole different story!

Reiji: Care explain? 

Shuu: What a drag...Who cares. I’m going back to my room.

Shuu gets up.

Ayato: Even if you return to your room, you’re just gonna nap or take a bath, right? I don’t understand how you can sit still like that all day.

Reiji: Hah! He simply doesn’t have anything else to do, don’t you think? Must be nice. (1)

Shuu: Honestly, taking a bath is a hassle as well. If I could, I’d love to just continue to sleep forever. Pwaah...

Reiji: Regardless, I’d rather you not sleep in the bathtub. 

Shuu: Nn...I can’t help it that I become drowsy though?

Ayato: Then I just thought of something great! In short, we just have to prevent Shuu from sleeping in the bath, right?

Reiji: Well, I suppose so. However, I have a bad feeling about this, so stop right there, Ayato. And before that, Shuu, it is a basic necessicity, so at least take a bath without complaining.

Shuu: Haah...What I complain about is none of your business, is it? I’m in no position to get ordered around by you.

Reiji: Wha...!? Do you have any idea how much trouble you cause me...?

*Rustle rustle*

Ayato: ...Haah? It’s gone. I could have sworn I put it ‘round here...

Reiji: Ayato! Don’t be throwing out stuff left and right!

*Rustle rustle*

Ayato: Aah...!?

Shuu: ...Haah...Who cares...If I’m tired, I’m gonna sleep. Whether it’s in the living room or in the bathroom, that’s up to me. 

*Rustle rustle*

Reiji: I am fed up with getting involved in these kind of troublesome situations because of you.

*Rustle*

Ayato: Oh! There it is! ...How ‘bout using this bad boy? 

Reiji: Hm...? Ahー If I recall correctly, those are the bath products Laito bought in bulk at one point in time.

Ayato: There’s a bunch of them and knowing Laito, I bet there’s some weird ones as well. One of them might make it so you don’t get drowsy when takin’ a bath.

*Rustle rustle*

Shuu: ...? Rose fragrance?

Ayato: Ah! That one’s out of the question! It might actually make you sleepy instead. It makes the bath water turn pink as well, so that one’s obviously meant for Chichinashi.

*Rattle rattle*

Shuu: It kinda stinks...

Reiji: With this amount, that is to be expected. I assume the different scents have mixed together. However, bath products are not just to be enjoyed for their aesthetics or scent, but are also said to be highly effective against fatigue. Of course, you would know this if you bothered to read the explanation on the packaging.

Shuu: Hm...

Ayato: Lifts fatigue, huh? Fruits mix flavor? This one seems delicious!

Reiji: Let me tell you just in case, it’s talking about the fragrance, not the taste. It says ‘this product is not edible’ in big letters over here, does it not? They have this kind of ridiculous warning exactly because idiots like you who don’t bother reading the instructions exist.

Ayato: Haah!? I only said it seemed delicious! I wouldn’t eat it! Don’t make fun of me!

Shuu: You said ‘taste’ loud and clear just now, didn’t you?

Reiji: I can easily imagine you gulping down the bath water, mistaking it for juice due to its fruity smell.

Ayato: Gehー!! ...Che!

*Rustle rustle*

Shuu: Upon further inspection, there’s a lot of them that claim to improve a good sleep.

Reiji: Of course. A lot of people enjoy a bath right before bed after all. It is only to be expected.

Ayato: Hehe...If that’s the case, rather than waking Shuu up, wouldn’t they just make him fall into a deep slumber?

Reiji: While I do believe they would make you somewhat drowsy, I doubt many people would actually nod off to the point of nearly drowning like that good-for-nothing over there.

Ayato: Aren’t there any that will make you feel really awake instead?

*Rustle rustle*

Reiji: I doubt anyone would want that from a bath product which is supposed to bring relaxation.

*Rustle rustle*

Ayato: ...Oh! ‘Scorching Hell, induced with germanium (2) for ultimate sweating!’ This one sounds intense!

Reiji: I see. I suppose that one is to promote weight loss.

Ayato: I bet even Shuu wouldn’t be able to sleep after taking a bath with this one!

Shuu: Don’t wanna. Taking a bath is already a pain as is, why do I have to sweat even more?

Reiji: It is to ensure you do not sleep in the bath, Shuu. Every time you sink to the bottom of the tub or soak with your clothes on, she makes a huge fuss, it is highly bothersome to me.

Shuu: Just don’t pay attention to it.

Reiji: If you want to drown that badly, please do it in the ocean instead. If you drown there forever, I will no longer have to be bothered by you. 

*Rustle rustle*

Ayato: Say, what will happen if we mix all of these together?

Reiji: Hah?

Ayato: I mean, they all have their own unique effects, right? But if we just mix them together, we can kill two birds with one stone! 

Reiji: Ridiculous...That makes no sense. If you do not follow the instructions, you will not get the desired effect.

Ayato: We just have to prevent him from sleeping, right? Let’s just try it out!

Shuu: Oi...Don’t tell me I have to get inside that suspicious mixture you call a ‘bath’? 

Ayato: Hah? Of course!

Shuu: ...

Reiji: ( This might be a great opportunity...Similar to when he was sent to the North Pole for having to repeat his year, if he develops a trauma in regards to bathing, he might never again cause a ruckus for sleeping in the tub. )

Shuu: ...This is ridiculous. I’m gonna take a normal bath.

Reiji: Hold up.

Shuu: ...?

Reiji: How about we give it a try? Just like Ayato said, due to the synergy between the different products, you might be able to improve your bathing experience. Aah...Or are you perhaps too scared to attempt it?

Shuu: ...Haah? 

Reiji: Hah! You are rather pathetic. To get cold feet over some bath bubbles.

Shuu: ...Fine.

*Rustle*

Shuu: Heh. I’ll put it to the test.

Ayato: Fruits...Lavender...The aroma of the forest...Oh! Let’s add these as well! Apparently they’re mustard and curry scented! 

*Plop*

Reiji: The color’s getting increasingly more intense...The smell’s also...

Reiji covers his nose.

Reiji: They’re all mixing in together, I simply cannot stand sniffing it.

Ayato: Ah? Forget ‘bout the color or scent, we’re adding in all these different effects, so it should definitely be hella powerful by now!

Reiji: You should hurry up and learn that one plus one does not always equal two.

Ayato: What are you saying? One plus one is obviously two! ...Oh? What’s this? ‘Hyper bubble’...? Heh. Seems interesting.

*Plop*

Shuu: ...!? What’s this...?

Reiji: We put in all of the bath products.

Ayato: It looks like a bath that came straight from hell, don’t you think?

Reiji: Please rest assured. We did not put in a single product that could be harmful to your health. Although I cannot say that for certain, considering we do not know the exact effects of mixing them together.

Shuu: ...

Reiji: Will you get in? Or perhaps you will run?

Shuu: Haah...Fine. I just gotta step inside, right?

*TIMESKIP*

*Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock*

Ayato: Say, don’t you think he’s takin’ his sweet time?

Reiji: Don’t tell me he actually fell asleep with such circumstances? I cannot believe this.

Ayato: Hehe...Let’s go check up on it! He might be knocked out cold, foam coming from his mouth!

Reiji: Good grief, he’s such a handful...Good point. Let us go take a look.

The two of them walk towards the bathroom.

Ayato: Oi, Shuu!

Reiji: ...No response. 

Ayato: Are you dead!? Oi, Shuu!

Ayato opens the door.

Ayato: ...ーー The fuck!?

Reiji: W-What’s with this large amount of bubbles...!? ...My vision’s...!!

Ayato: Hahaha! Reiji, your glasses got clouded!

Reiji: You do not need to point that out to me! Good grief...I can’t see because of the fog...

Ayato: ...Ah! There’s foam over theー

Reiji: ...Heh? ...Woah!

Reiji slips and falls.

Ayato: ...Hahaha! Whatcha trippin’ for? Lame!

Shuu: Nn...Ugh...Shut up...I was having a nice nap, don’t wake me up.

Ayato: You were actually sleepin’ amidst this mess? Unbelievable. I guess this wasn’t enough to keep Shuu awake.

Reiji: You...Good-for-nothing...I wasted so much of my precious time on you...And it was all for naught! Although I suppose you could say this was to be expected.

Shuu: I don’t really care but...Shouldn’t you two do something about the fact you’re covered in foam?

Ayato: Hahaha! You’ve upgraded from a ‘four-eyes’ to a ’foamy specs’ (3), Reiji!

Reiji: ...!? Kuh...What did I do to deserve this...!? 

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) Reiji says 大層な身分 or ‘taisou na mibun’ here, which actually means ‘an impressive social status’, but I assume he means it sarcastic here. 

(2) I’m not an expert when it comes to chemistry at all, but when I looked up germanium in Japanese, I did find some resources on it being used in certain hot springs as well. 

(3) These nicknames are so hard to translate because they just don’t have the same ring to them in English. However, Ayato calls him 泡メガネ or ‘awa-megane’ which is a combination of the words for ‘bubbles/foam’ and ‘glasses’. 

[figula]

today -

1. i mostly finished an 8-wig order that’s been driving me nuts for the past few weeks :D still need to trim and curl them all (cries) but the wigs themselves are finished which is the bulk of the work, downhill from here. so im gonna make some stock wigs today and hopefully replenish my bank account a bit. i get ch/ess payment on the 31st too so that will help as well, then i think next week we should be able to buy our new 3d resin printer which im hype about. hype and scared ill fuck it up somehow lol

2. in slightly weird news, there is a row of bruises in the crease of my inner thigh and im a bit freaked out by them... praying 4 no blood cancer... i think the actual, slightly ridiculous reason, is that i shaved everything last week and became itchy in that entire triangle area, and scratched my inner thighs too much, and bruised them :/ im a bit annoyed at myself for this but i have enjoyed being very smooth this past week + i am considering doing it more lol. the itchiness is bad though... i could wax instead...

3. ocado is coming any minute, i booked an extremely early delivery bc im awake at extremely early times atm, and im very excited

4. i was explaining to ben the other day my theory that if i could get rid of the ocd id be almost entirely “normal”, and he agrees w/ me less about this than ana does lol. ana more or less agrees w/ me that the OCD is the Only Big Issue atm + that if i can make some real headway on it then ill be in a really good position to live a life that im satisfied w/

ben on the other hand is much more cautious about my optimism i think - he thinks the ED is still a problem too and that i need to engage w/ it rather than either ignoring it or hoping/expecting that dealing w/ obsessions + compulsions will naturally improve the ED also

my feeling is that i dont see how an improvement on obsessive / compulsive thinking + behaviours wouldnt improve obsessive + compulsive behaviours re: bodily dissatisfaction, as well as the more typical spheres i deal w/ them in (fires, plugs, food, germs, ben generally). like is it so different? my feeling is that whilst there are non-overlapping features there’s a lot of overlap too and that i dont see the point in making the Food Shit and the Obsessive Shit into two entirely different things - that feels like both entirely not how anybody’s mind works + also not like sensible logically, bc i think there’s a lot of the same mechanisms at work. you feel bad, you obsess, you perform some kind of relieving behaviour (perhaps starving, etc), and you’re reassured for a little bit. like: this is the same thing lol!

however i do agree w/ him that the areas that dont overlap (e.g. my long-term misery w/ my body, my inability to value myself for areas outside of appearance, my refusal to let him see me naked in the light, the way that i was brought up wrt thinking about food and weight and appearance etc) needs some work. i think it’s actually harder for me to imagine a life in which i dont experience some kind of body dysmorphoa than a life w/o obsessive compulsive behaviours to be honest?? like at least the more general obsessions feel crazy, and im like “lol that’s crazy!” even whilst adhering to the stupid rules ive made up, but to act as tho ED behaviours aren’t culturally sanctioned and celebrated is just not stupid, bc they are, and i dont see a meaningful distinction btwn diet culture (aka “normal” behaviour wrt food) and “eating disorders” other than the weight of the person in question. and i guess i find it hard to imagine myself being able to separate myself entirely from the weight of public perception and judgement.

i think i can probably still make some headway - but i think i imagine it being more of a problem, and im not sure what “work” or “engagement” ben is imaginine, bc i have no idea either to be honest. i think probably, and i hate saying this, bc it’s gonna suck, it’s gonna be things like ... letting him see me naked lmfao :( like literally 10y in and im still like :) lights off :) so ridiculous

[broodygaming]

Oh the trials of animals and farm life 😞

Pretty sure Wonder had a miscarriage. She was only 3 weeks bred so it’s hardly a huge issue. just a bit of blood around her vulva and on her tail. (I should clarify im talking about my goat haha). This is her first year tryin to get bred so a sad start. but I talked with my goat expert friend and she confirms it’s not uncommon and it’s not a huge deal. I’m gonna give her a few weeks to rest and heal and try and breed her again IF she goes into heat again. She’s in heat rn and they cycle every 21 days (three weeks). A part of me worries that’s too soon, but it’s January and their heat cycles go from August to maybe February. So my window is closing to have her bred for spring. I’m gonna keep an eye on her. If she seems healthy and happy we’ll go again. If not, I’m okay to wait or even never breed her. But that would suck. That’s the whole point haha. Otherwise she’s just expensive. A sweet baby who I would keep as a pet, not sell. But an objective strain on the resources none the less.

if I had to guess the reason, the snow was stressful for all of them and I ran out of alfalfa during the snow and was unable to go get more (we live on a huge steep steep hill. No one left our hill for almost two weeks, no joke). They were keeping themselves fed and didn’t seem skinny. But any stress during the first few weeks of pregnancy can cause them to slip the pregnancy. It was out of my control. I need a way to store more alfalfa and buy more in bulk and I just don’t rn. And we prob won’t while we live here. It’s so rare it snows. But with friggin climate change and shit I guess it’s time to start adapting. Jfc.

[anciientboosh]

My prompts are typically garbage, but here’s one anyway if you’d like! Vince feels like he’s running through his fancy shampoo more quickly than he should. He doesn’t know where it’s going until he notices Howard walking around with newly luxuriant curls. And his outfit isn’t as terrible as usual. What’s going on??

Hello friend! Thank you so much for helping me keep entertained on my travels! Here is a lovely soft and sweet ficlet for you, I hope you enjoy!

Something is amiss.

Which, by its very nature, is something Vince has come to expect of his daily life. Arguably it would be more unusual for everything to be running smoothly around here. 

But the contextual clues of the past few days are adding up to some very bad juju. 

It starts with a rapidly depleting bottle of shampoo. To most, not the kind of thing that would even click as suspicious, but this is Vince Noir's shampoo. A concoction of fruit scented hair Potion that costs him most of his monthly pay packet to supply himself with; and thus, something he ensures he uses stringently. 

Vince knows exactly how long it takes him to get through one bottle. It's frankly one of the precious few things in his existence he manages to be anal-retentive about. 

So, of course, when he reaches for the bottle nine days into a twenty-one day cycle and finds the weight of it considerably lighter than it should be. It is the first step down a path of suspicion that can only lead to terrible things. 

The next piece of this wet jigsaw puzzle comes with Howard's altered appearance. 

It isn't even what most would consider a large difference. But to Vince it's like the man had shaved his head and begun wearing neon leg-warmers and tank tops and calling himself Moonbeam. Its jarring, and obvious. 

Howard's curls are styled. 

He notices one lazy Sunday morning as the older man potters about the kitchen sorting them some breakfast. Usually, Howard's shampoo was cheap and bought in bulk and basically, left his hair sort of-- in the nicest way possible-- horrifically unstylable. The brown ringlets often had a mind of their own, and at this length, never looked washed anyway so Howard never took the trouble. 

But on this Sunday morning? They're radiant. Catching the soft morning light. Curled delicately round his ears and dipping over his forehead. Vince all at once wants to sink his fingers into them and pull but he can't-- not least because they may be at a place where affection is coming naturally and sometimes they might kiss each other or share a cheeky touch… they still haven't actually said what they are yet-- because his suspicion just ramped up another level. 

Was Howard using his shampoo? 

There isn't even the chance to ask. He's too soon distracted by a crimp and a delicious meal that his hyperactive brain loses the will to hold on to such things as paranoia and worry. It can be tackled later. 

Later happens the following morning when Vince is watching Howard dress. Not in a creepy way, they share a bedroom for God's sake, but in a soft affectionate way. After being brave enough to slide under Vince's sheets this morning and press kisses to his cheeks and forehead Howard is vibrating with proud energy and its nice to witness. 

Right up until he pull a shirt from his wardrobe and ruins it. 

It's not patterned. It's not even a horrific colour. It's just a plain, quite stylish, button down that Vince remembers buying him years ago in the hopes of kick-starting a wardrobe revamp. 

Except watching him pull it on now does nothing but make him feel disoriented. 

Howard smiles at him, practically skips his way from the bedroom. Vince stays where he is just a moment longer, mentally trying to force the misshapen pieces of this conundrum together before the only logical solution springs at him from nowhere. 

Howard's been replaced by aliens. 

Armed with this knowledge, Vince for goes dressing properly in order to rush downstairs to the shop and confront their intruder. Pyjamas isn't ideal alien fighting apparel but needs must when you've got to rescue your best friend. 

And as if it couldn't get any worse, what he sees has him stumbling down the last few steps ungracefully. 

Howard is at the counter as expected. But in front of him sits a white paper bag that would normally set Vince off like an excited puppy. Topman. Howard's reaching into a bag from Topman. 

He's pulling out jeans. Actual denim. Jeans. 

It's the straw that breaks Vince's back. 

"Alright, you fashionable freak," He cries, Iwad jolts with his shock and drops the denim to the shop floor. "What've you done with my Howard?" 

"Wha-- your Howard?" 

"I swear if you've hurt 'im I'll kick your teeth in," The threat is enough to have maybe Howard's hands hooting up in a display of his innocence. "Then I'll get my shaman mate to curse you!" 

"Vince, you've gone wrong." Howard's hands drop to his sides once more. Apparently no longer threatened by Vince's over display of anger. "It's me, I'm Howard."

"No you're not."

"Yes. I am."

"Howard doesn't use my shampoo!" With the renewed annoyance of this accusation, Vince takes a solid step forward; a smug sense of pleasure twists in his gut to see the imposter take one back in response. His back hits the shelves with a noisy thud. "He reckons it's like washin' his hair with fruit juice. And my Howard wouldn't be caught dead in Topman-- he definitely wouldn't buy jeans. If he tried to put jeans on he'd dissolve into a puddle of beige fabric." The whole rant is rounded off with Vince stamping his foot like an angry toddler. "So tell me where he is."

Amusement is twisting on Howard's features, soft in its nature and endlessly affectionate. "You daft tart," He utters warmly. "It is me."

"Prove it, then."

"Remember when we were 14 and I caught you with that poster of--"

"Alright!" Where Vince's arms had previously been crossed over his chest defiantly, he now reaches out to shove gently at Howard's larger frame in warning. "Alright, you said you'd never bring that up again."

Howard shrugs casually at him; cocks a brow as if silently asking him what else he was supposed to do. Vince isn't dwelling on that, though, he is much too preoccupied seeking out answers to this bizarre few days of Howard transformation. "What's goin' on then?" 

The panic may have left Vince's frame but it creeps up Howard's now. His shoulders tense, his eyes dart away, the soft curves of his cheeks turn pink with his embarrassment. All it does is add to Vince's gathering confusion. "Howard?" 

With a deep breath-- all his bravery existing in that one action-- Howard admits, "I thought it would help." No further elaboration comes until Vince makes a point to cock his head to the side like a curious puppy. "With us. You know, our-- you like a certain look."

"What?" Vince exclaims on a laugh. 

"I've seen your type, Vince, and it's not me, is it?" Howard still hasn't looked at him. Prefers muttering his truth to the floor. "I thought if I looked more like the people you normally fancy we might be able to--" 

"You idiot." Vince declares confidently. Startled, Howard stares up at him with wide eyes. "Utter lunatic, are you insane? Howard I fancy you not the clothes you wear."

Howard continues to do nothing but blink owlishly at him. 

"Bloody hell, all of this was for me?" A nod. "Oh, Howard. Look I think your fashion sense is rubbish but it's yours. That's who you are, I'm not gonna change you. I don't want to, and I don't want you to want to change yourself either."

"Really?" 

"Really." Vince takes a confident step forward, tosses his arms around Howard shoulders. "Can't promise I won't make fun of how you dress but that doesn't mean I actually want you to be different. Whatever gave you that idea?" 

"Well all the jokes but," Howard hesitates over his answer, eyes flashing with discomfort. "But when I asked Leroy he said--" 

"Leroy?" Vince rolls his eyes. "Don't be taking dating advice from Leroy, that man had an affair with a succulent once."

Howard snickers; finds it in himself to wrap his hands about Vince's waist and tug him into an embrace. "Does this mean that we're...?"

"Boyfriends? Sure. But only if you go and take this mess off and put something normal on for God's sake."

"Fine. Drama queen." With an affectionate peck to his forehead, Howard starts for the stairs. 

"Oh and Howard?" Vince calls sweetly, Howard paused at the bottom step. "You ever use my shampoo again and you can kiss goodbye to your rare jazz collection."

[michipeachiii]

YALL THEY PASSED THE STIMMY

And I’m doing my math again (ya know, like a nerd) and omg omg omg, if I do this right, and I don’t have too many unexpected expenses, I can now say, that I am very confident that I can fully pay off my debt this year or at the very least, finish the year with it being under $100. 

This isn’t even counting any birthday or christmas money I might be getting this year!!!! What? Ya girl is actually gonna have money for herself???? I can actually treat myself without feeling guilty??? I can buy people’s art???? IM READY 

I am so so tempted to buy some much needed clothes but I am also just mega desperate to get this debt off my back. Anyone that’s been following me since about 2018 knows how much this has been torturing me. 

It’s gonna be rough but I can do this. I still have some money left from the last stimmy. But basically, I’m going to split the entirety of my stimmy into 4 payments. This of course is contingent on any popup medical expenses. So two back to back payments of $500, followed by two back to back payments of $200. (I wish I could just do it in one go but not having a steady income does make it hard, so little steps so I can be stable and responsible at the same time.)This would bring down my debt to about $600-700 by July, not including the interest. But I’m hoping that with these bulk payments that won’t really be relevant. 

After that point I’d really have to play it by ear and see how my finances look like in about 4 months, but I’m hopeful. I don’t think I’ve felt this level of hope in a LONG time. I’m getting some semblance of control back into my life.