#au in another parody

[miramelo]

The twins

The masters are a very wealthy family that seems to have popped out of nowhere in Gotham, although high society likes to say that they have at least heard of them in a gathering or two "they are VERY old money. Traditional, the type of rich that don't think is necessary to say they are rich because they don't care about it, for them being rich is just a fact of life." no one is really sure if it is true or just something they said to not look ignorant.

The twins are kept by their father's side most of the time. If they are not with their father then one of their older siblings is close by

They are always together(DO NOT SEPARATE)

[mrpuzzlessimp420]

Mario Simulator (Joke Fic)

Chapter 3

Warnings (Just in case): Arson, Suicide (no one actually dies, SMG3 is just dramatic and contemplates it for a second)

Ships: Marware, Battery Acid (Orange Juice x Mr Puzzles), Swagmaster69696969 x Sonic (like for a second)

It was a new day at Mushroom Akademi and Mario was lovesick, staring at the countless of definitely consented and not at all stalker-like photos of his one true love on his spaghetti-themed flip-phone with a Teletubby keyring hanging on it.

One day they would be together and have a pretty wedding and he'd be his everything and be together forever, but right now he'd has to put in the effort for that to happen. Sadly. Why couldn't life just make things easy for him? Why did he have to be born with this condition?

Anyway, Mario noticed Meggy waving at him to come over so he Naruto ran over, gusts of wind flowing away from Mario as he stopped, nearly causing everyone to fall over except Meggy cause she's built different.

"Hi Red! How's it going?" She playfully punched him which if it was done on any other person, would have sent them flying into the nearest wall. This was Mario though so it didn't. "We were just talking about- what were we talking about again?" She looked at SMG4 who quickly went into autism mode.

"We were just taking about how Sonic the Hedgehog is actually a good franchise and that it isn't as 'cringe' as some would say because it's a beautiful piece of media filled with cool mechanics, fleshed out characters, great stor-"

Mario quickly shut of his ears as SMG4 yappered on about some dumb blue hedgehog.

In the background, Sonic is seen judging SMG4 while holding his swagalious boyfriend's hand, who is aiming a gun towards SMG4's head.

"Oh uh Mario," SMG3 said while SMG4 still was autisming "I need to talk to you for a second, uh, privately."

"Okie-dokie! Good luck Meggy!" Mario exclaimed leaving Meggy alone with a cringe failure of a man and a declining sanity from being with him.

After they were out of view, SMG3 dragged Mario behind a perfectly cut and well placed bush.

"Okay, I think we're safe. Do you remember the plan from yesterday?" SMG3 whispered, careful not to raise his voice any higher in fear of being caught.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nope!" Mario said, smiling innocently.

"Of course you don't" SMG3 hit his face, annoyed at himself for expecting Mario to remember anything. "We are going to spread a rumour about Orange Juice liking content farm videos."

"Why can't we just kill him?" Mario said while pulling out a double-barrel shotgun from his infinite storage pocket.

SMG3 sighed heavily "You said it yourself, Mr Puzzles will get depressed if we do that without ruining his relationship with Orange Juice first. If Mr Puzzles is depressed, we won't want to be with you."

"Wow, Mario is-a so smart!" Mario exclaimed

"Now, are you-" SMG3 tried to say before being cut off by a familiar single mother.

"What are you two doing?" Karen asked, looking down on the two suspicious individuals.

Mario had to think of a distraction, quick and fast! "UHHHHHHH Mario's PINGAS is-a stuck in the door again!" Mario shouted, a door magically appearing closed on his PINGAS

"Damn it Mario, not again." Karen stated, dragging Mario on the floor to the Nurse's office once again. Mario looked over to SMG3 and gave him the thumbs up, signaling to him that SMG3 had to start this on his own.

"The things I do for that Italian.." SMG3 whispered to himself as he strolled back to his small friendship group, in which Meggy was in a hospital bed, dying of boredom while SMG4 was still ranting about that blue rat.

"-and that's why The Murder of Sonic The Hedgehog is the best Sonic game ever and no one can tell you otherwise!" SMG4 stated, cheerfully while Meggy noticed that SMG3 was coming back and was immensely relieved.

"Oh hi SMG3! You're back! Please help me he won't stop talking about Sonic the Hedgehog" Meggy begged, clingying onto SMG3 with desperation.

"Aren't there content farms of Sonic?" SMG3 asked, ignoring Meggy's pleas for freedom

"There's content farms of everything." SMG4 gritted his teeth, at the mention of those horrible, cheap, lazy, brainrotting pieces of trash. "Why do you ask?"

"I just overheard that Orange Juice likes content farms, like unironically. Kind of cringe /neg if you ask me." SMG3 mentioned, planting the seed in his two friends head of the rumor.

"Really? Remind me never to talk to that guy ever again." SMG4 stated

"You'd believe that? What if it's just a rumor?" Meggy said, the only one in the group with a functioning brain cell.

"I heard him talking about it to Water Bottle and Apple Smoothie so I doubt it." SMG3 lied.

"Huh. I bet if Mr Puzzles finds that out, he's going to be pissed" Meggy stated.

"Probably." SMG3 hid a small smirk. This was way to easy, he probably should have asked for another condition other than not having his secrets be exposed. It was too late now for that.

The extremely loud and ear-bleeding bell rang, signaling for first period.

"Ugh, I have catering next..." Meggy sighed.

3 months ago she was banned from entering the class kitchen because she and Mario had burned the entire building down because they had tried to heat up some water. The school had to be closed for 1 week because it had to be rebuilt.

So she had to spend all of her catering lessons for the rest of her time being in this school in a dark empty classroom, writing down "I will not try and burn down the school" over and over again until she gets arthritis.

"Oh good luck then, I have to go to my art class now." SMG4 said, leaving the two so he isn't late.

"What do you have Three?" Meggy asked, not wanting to walk in silence.

"Physics, which is directly next to your empty classroom" SMG3 answered.

They both talked about random things until they reached both their classes and said goodbye.

The rest of the day before Lunch went pretty smoothly. The rumour spread like wildfire because of SMG3's conversation with SMG4 and Meggy and soon enough the whole school was talking about it, even teachers.

Mario even got to spread it even more when he got out the Nurse's office, talking to anyone and everyone about it, no matter if they wanted to know or not.

"Mario's a-proud of you S-M-G-3, you really out did yourself today." Mario patter SMG3's back like a father would to his child.

"Well, the sooner it gets done, the sooner I can leave." SMG3 stated, ignoring the fact this was the most fun he'd had with Mario ever.

Then the two of them were interrupted by a scream, a very electronic and theatrical scream coming from the rooftop of the school.

SMG3 and Mario ran in the direction of the scream before SMG3 pulled out a plot convenience portal which teleported them to the scene of the crime.

Mr Puzzles, looking obviously angered and betrayed was yelling at Orange Juice, who was backed at the edge of the railing, one nudge away from failing to his death.

"I swear I don't like content farms! They're gross and unoriginal! I would never-" Orange Juice tried to plead, before being interrupted by a furious Mr Puzzles

"I know your lying! I've heard the stories! I thought you loved me!" Mr Puzzles exclaimed, gasoline pouring out his screen, resembling human tears.

"I do love you my dear pookie bear you just have to believe me when I say that content farms are created by hell itself and I don't like them." Orange Juice stated, wiping Mr Puzzles' tears lovingly

Mr Puzzles breath hitched at the contact of his love, wanting to lean into it but just controlled himself, needing to know if Orange-Kun was telling the truth.

"If you mean that, you'll burn that place from the SMG4 Vs Content Farms video for me" Mr Puzzles stated, needing to know if Orange Juice was telling the truth or not.

Immediately, without stopping a beat, Orange Juice pulled out a comically large gasoline container with a tiny lighter and opened up a portal to that disgusting hell-like place. He then poured the entire gasoline can into the portal and lit it on fire, closing the portal before it could even spread into the school.

"So you are telling the truth?" Mr Puzzles whispered (and whimper- -gets shot-)

"Of course I am, now let's get you fixed up you beautiful doll." Orange Juice said, taking Mr Puzzles' hand and walking off into the distance, cherry blossom petals falling romantically as they did so.

Mario and SMG3 stared in shock at their failure of a plan that just played out in front of them.

"ARE YOU A-FUCKING KIDDING ME?" Mario finally shouted as SMG3 debated on jumping of the school rooftop before realising that would be an incredibly dumb idea after just one failure as afterall,

Tomorrow is another day.

[reima-c]

sdra2 milgram parody

I cant stop listening to deep cover and thats why i drew this 😆

Yuki as the amnesiac warden of milgram prison

Sora and Tsurugi are prisoners

[mechanichuntsman]

I have found some unfinished old stuff that I remember making for school T-T

[basmathgirl]

Hey ya!! How do you do? Have you been enjoying the new season so far of DW?

Also!! Completely unrelated (sorry for all the messy thoughts all over the place, audhd is kicking my bum rn) but have you by any chance watched Bridgerton?? People on twitter are calling Polin (Penelope and Colin) the equivalent of Tendonna, and i was wondering if ot ever crossed your mind writing something regency-ish era with 10 (or 14) and Donna? I know for sure i would love to see a bridgerton au about them haha

Have a great week!!

Hello kind Anon

I'm enjoying the new series/season quite a lot, thanks. I hope you are doing so too.

Sorry your ADHD brain is running you around in circles. I'm used to coping with pensioner speech and the butterfly flitting of topics of conversation; so I don't mind in the slightest if you go on to something unrelated.

I've watched S1 and S2 of Bridgerton but won't be able to watch S3 until I can convince hubby to regain Netflix (we were an addition on my son's account but he cancelled it when they wouldn't let him access it). But I have read the Bridgerton books by Julia Quinn (might not have spelt her name right so will have to come back and correct it later). Now, in the book, there is definitely no TenDonna vibe between Penelope and Colin whatsoever. Perish the thought. In the book he and other suitors only bother to look in Penelope's direction because she has magically lost weight - we are told she lost all that podginess but given no idea how or why it happened - which felt like a complete cop out to me. I was hoping Penelope would be loved for who she is but instead we got the usual "only slim girls can be loved" crap you get in romantic novels.

For that reason alone I'm keen to see how the TV series handles it.... pun unintended.

Now, I have intended to write a Regency-ish 10 or 14 and Donna story. Have posted one that sort of fits the bill, and am part way through writing another. Both are Jane Austen AUs, btw. As for doing a Bridgerton AU, I'm not sure I could manage to find that many lemons for them to constantly drink lemon juice (where the f*ck did that expensive habit come from in London Society? Getting orange juice was quite a treat) or be able to force myself to call the upper classes "the Ton". For some reason that really grated on my nerves when reading the books. And I've even seen other American authors use the term recently in other historical romances.

Now I've read absolutely loads of romance books over the past *mumble mumble* decades, including ones set in Regency London, and had never come across the ever-flowing lemon juice favoured by the Ton until I encountered Bridgerton. Hmm. Almost makes me suspect they took a slice of America and dumped it in fictional London.

Yes, I'm being sarcastic. Or flippant. I'll let you know later when the pain I'm currently in has buggered off.

Anyway, for all my griping, I'm not ruling such an AU out. Just let me get one of my versions of Persuasion done first and I can properly think about it. If you want to coerce/bribe me with images (manips or artwork) by all means throw them my way, as I find such things very inspirational. Honest I do.

I hope you have a great week too!

[danmeichael]

What if kittypet ywh who escaped

i like that idea! i think that's a super interesting concept and definitely the direction one could go. i like how the specific shame targeted toward kittypets reflects, to a milder degree, what ywh was treated like in canon post being taken in by sqs.

i'm considering that in my au he's kind of... a little bit of everything. he was a kittypet, got picked up by a corrupt clan leader, then eventually breaks out.

part of the reason he's not just straight up a kitty-pet is that there's purpose, to me, in the cruelty and dehumanization he suffers being dealt at the hands of other human beings. thus, that transfers over to cat-on-cat violence.

the other part of the reason is because i still want the bloody revenge quest because the violence and brutality really suits the tone of warriors.

[mobroccoli]

I was reading a manga Mirumo de pon last night. While half way into volume 8, decided to make it a terumob parody.

And another parody from the same volume

Ofc in this AU poor teruki will end up going bald

[rainbow-nijisaki]

Twewy but it's a farm sim now

Earn enough money and you can buy back your entry fee - and your life.

(Neku was killed by a lightning strike during a freak typhoon, by the way)

Bonus: Another Day

Once you beat the game you unlock the endless mode AU in which Neku's lifelong dream was to be a farmboy. The plotline is a wacky isekai parody that involves a nonsense timeskip and then you can marry him to your favorite partner or whatever

(This is a joke post btw)

[elsa-fogen]

Charlie's Toys AU | Masterpost

In this AU Lilith and Lucifer decided to give Charlie sinners as her toys. And one day Alastor, the Radio Demon, who appeared in hell just 5-10 years ago, became one of them.

Links to all parts under cut

Chronological order:

Picking a new toy Charlie's new toy Alastor's staff: |Part 1| - |Part 2| - |Part 3| Charlie eep ??? (soon) Cake incident Lilith's toys??? Alastor and Lilith

Just memes and things i don't know where to put:

Alastor's personal space Alastor doesn't sleep

Fan works (there's so many wtf🥹):

Parody song (Do you wanna build a snowman) by @extremereader Alastor's song Another Alastor's song by @tyrantchimera Sticky hands by @guesswhocouldntsleep Ears! by @feathers-silly-rambles Alastor escaping by @tyrantchimera Antler accident by @ika-loves-to-draw (Not so) Imaginry friend from childhood by @ironborealis Adopted toy AU: Adoption by @gab-ster Alastor is real done by @gab-ster

[spirit-lanterns]

THIRST COMMENTS

synopsis: (celebrity! AU) reacting to thirst comments with your celebrity girlfriend. (part 1/2) part 2 here.

featuring: kafka, himeko, serval, yukong, topaz

rating: 18+ suggestive (men and minors dni)

warnings: celebrity! fem reader, no smut but very suggestive, mentions of strap ons, mentions of tit-sucking, jealousy, possessiveness, secret relationships, teasing, sugar mommy relationship (topaz), se.xual innuendos, dirty talk, mentions of mommy, milf, legal age gap relationship (yukong), may be ooc.

art credits: act-age

KAFKA

“Anonymous said: I will let Kafka break my back like a glow stick.”

Kafka’s eyes widened slightly and she let out an amused chuckle, staring at the camera with a subtle, yet flirtatious grin. “My, my…I had no idea my fans were quite the masochists.” She hums into the mic, trailing a seductive finger across her lips and whispering in a lower tone. “Perhaps I should star in an 18+ BDSM movie at some point. What do you think, darling?”

Kafka gave you a teasing nudge and you laughed as you continued scrolling through Twitter for more thirst comments. The two of you have been invited to read thirst comments on the set of one of those giant social media platforms, but the crew had no idea that you and Kafka were actually dating behind closed doors. They had just invited you both since you were frequent co-stars for various films, yet they didn’t anticipate the amount of tension you two would have while being filmed without any scripts. 

“Only if I get to star as the main girl.” You reply teasingly, Kafka giving you a light flick on the forehead as you laughed and read the next comment. “Okay, okay, here. Here’s another thirst comment for you,” you say jovially, handing Kafka your phone. 

“Hmm, I’ve been getting too many of these recently.” She chuckles, taking your phone and reading the next thirst comment out loud.

“@/itsmeanobody said: I know she’s strapped and I’m not talking about the gun.” 

Kafka let out a breathy laugh and covered her mouth with her hands, clearly flattered by the subtle innuendo. “Oh, dear…”

“I can confirm, she is very strapped.” You smile at the camera, giving it a playful wink and watching as the director’s face slowly morphed into one of shock. Kafka squeezed your thigh under the table to hush you with your words, causing you to gasp under her grip. “Shhhh, careful dear. You don’t want to tease the fans too much…” She grins and reads the next comment, eyes widening slightly as she reads it out loud. 

“Speaking of the fans. This next comment sure is interesting. Anonymous said: "When Kafka came on screen, so did I.” 

Your secret girlfriend bites her lip at the comment and can’t help but let a few laughs escape her throat. “You naughty, naughty fans…” Kafka purrs, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer against her. “I didn’t expect my fanbase to be so dirty.”

“Well, have you seen the ten thousand TikTok edits of you in Flash and Furious (Parody of Fast and Furious)? I’ve seen more content on you than anything else from the movie.”

“Awe, come on,” Kafka pouts, giving your cheek a little squeeze and giving a snide smile to the camera. “Can you blame me? I was cast in such a sexy role.”

“I think I was sexier.”

“Yeah, you were.” 

Kafka grins lazily and sits back upright, the tension so unbearably strong, all the people on set were blushing and sweating under the stage lights. You and Kafka didn’t mind, though. As celebrities, you knew the tension between you was more than enough to have fans buzzing, and despite actually dating in real life, you wanted to keep the buzz going. 

“Mm, one last thirst comment before we move on to your turn, dear.” Kafka says as her eyes trail down to your phone. “Anonymous said: I want Kafka to mess up my insides with that big strap she hides in the back.” 

After that very bold comment, Kafka sucked in a breath and watched as you frowned slightly in a bit of jealousy. Though you were aware that fans often thirsted for both you and Kafka, you couldn’t help but grow a bit jealous as fans wanted so desperately to sleep with your girlfriend. 

“Actually, that big strap is just for m—”

Kafka quickly covered your mouth. 

“Haha, we’ll be right back!”

After your accidental slip up, the camera was cut and Kafka turned to you with a knowing smile. “Darling, are you jealous?” She chuckles with a sly grin. “About four comments in and this one is the one that gets you all riled up?” 

“It’s true though, that strap is mine and mine only.” You whisper into her ear, giggling a little before playfully shoving her. “What, like you wouldn’t get jealous when it’s my turn.” 

“I happen to be very good at concealing my emotions though, dear.” Kafka replies in a sultry tone. “Besides, you’re the only girl who’s bed I would willingly climb in.” She grins and lowers her voice to a husky whisper. “And the only girl who’s insides I’d ruin with that ‘big strap’ of mine.”

Your cheeks heat up at her words and you feel a jolt of arousal pulse at your core. 

“Ugh…stop trying to turn me on, we're still in the middle of filming.” You mumble.

“Sorry, sorry.” Kafka replies before resting her chin on her hands. “Why don’t you begin reading your thirst comments, darling. I promise, I won’t even get jealous.” 

She laughs and gives you a flirtatious wink, causing you to roll your eyes and signal the director that you were ready to continue filming. “Sure, sure. I bet your face would turn all green from envy.”

“We’ll just see about that.” Kafka smirks. “Go on, let’s continue shall we?”

“Oh, sure.” You smile, playing along as you knew Kafka would eventually fall prey to her jealousy. “This thirst comment says…”

And you watch with joy as Kafka’s hand twitches slightly at the start, making you smile with amusement as your girlfriend was not as good at concealing her emotions as she said.

HIMEKO

“Anonymous said: If Himeko’s breasts are feeling a bit heavy and in pain, I’d gladly suck the pain away.”

After reading the first thirst comment, Himeko’s face flushed bright red with embarrassment. Her hand instinctively shot out for yours under the table, as she tried her best to remain calm in front of all the cameras. “O-Oh…Oh my…” she laughs a bit nervously, unsure of what to do with the raw desire of some of her fans. “That is uh, well…thank you for the offer, anonymous commenter. Your generosity is quite admirable.”

You chuckled softly at Himeko’s attempts to remain calm and polite, before cupping her hand under the table and giving it a comforting squeeze. “To be fair, Himeko does have a nice chest.”

“Hey—”

Himeko narrowed her eyes at you before instantly smiling and jabbing at your sides. To the public, you were just a pair of co-stars who had “intimate” moments with each other that seemed to spice up your careers. But behind closed doors, you and Himeko were closer than ever, as you had secretly gotten together after the filming of your latest movie. 

“But it’s true, Himeko has a very nice figure. It’s nice to admire it once in a while.” 

“Darling, that's called being a pervert.”

“No, it’s called appreciating your beauty.”

You smiled and winked at her, causing Himeko’s face to flush as red as her hair. Your tension was a lot more…romantic than some of the other celebrities in the industry, and whenever you and Himeko got together, you always made her laugh. 

“This next comment is from another anonymous user. Anonymous said: "Everyone repeat after me, Mommy Himeko.” 

Himeko raised a brow at this, confused by this certain comment. “…Darling, what do they mean by… ‘Mommy Himeko?’ I don’t have children yet.”

You burst out laughing at her reaction, Himeko’s obliviousness to the comment clearly showing her age. “Himeko, they’re calling you mommy because you’re very…mother material. In a hot way.” You clarified, Himeko only growing more confused at this. “In a hot way? Isn’t that ince—”

“No no no—!”

You took a brief intermission pause and cut the cameras. After a good two minutes of explaining to Himeko what being called “mommy” meant, the cameras were turned back on, as you and Himeko sat back in your seats.

“And we’re back!” You exclaim jovially, your girlfriend Himeko just hiding her face on the table as steam poured out of her ears. Too embarrassed after realizing what being “mommy material” was. “Sorry about the cut, I had to teach old grandma Himeko what being a Mommy meant.” 

“I’m not…old.” Himeko grumbles against the table. “Let’s just read the next thirst comment already.”

You chuckle and slide Himeko your phone for her to read, the redhead hesitantly picking up the device and reading the first comment that caught her eye. “@/sinsmockingbird said: Ahhhh the need to suck on Himeko’s titties is so strongggg”

“…Again with the tit-sucking.” You chuckle behind your hand, Himeko’s face burning even brighter than before as she groaned. “I— how do people say these things on the internet…” Himeko stutters, her eyes unable to look at the cameras and choosing to stare at the floor. “I am just…shocked at how bold people can be.”

“Yeah, the internet can be pretty bold at times.” You laugh softly, running a comforting hand through your girlfriend’s soft locks. “Do you wanna do one more thirst comment before it’s my turn?” 

“Ah…I suppose.” Himeko says with an awkward expression, mustering up the courage to read another comment. “It can’t be that bad after this, right?”

No. She severely underestimated how down bad her fanbase actually was. 

“Anonymous said: I would totally have a threesome with (Reader) and Himeko. They can punish me whenever.” 

After reading that final comment out loud, Himeko couldn’t help but let her face slowly fall as she reread the comment multiple times. 

“…Wow. I didn’t expect that comment to be in there.” You laughed softly, a little surprised yourself as you had no idea Himeko’s fans would also be lusting after you. “That must mean we’re a pretty hot couple, eh Himeko?”

You nudged her playfully, expecting her to nudge you back like you always did for your playful banters, but Himeko said nothing. Just staring at the thirst comment in silence as her eyes kept trailing over the words like it was a paragraph. 

“…Himeko?” 

“Hm? Oh. Sorry.” She smiles softly and looks up at the camera, flashing her signature smile like nothing was wrong. “Thank you for the flattering comment, anon.” 

You felt shivers go down your spine as an aura of uneasiness swept across your body. Normally Himeko would be embarrassed or not understand what the comment was implying, yet this time she was being eerily calm and it was starting to spook you a bit.

“H-Himeko? Ah—!”

You quickly closed your mouth as Himeko trailed a hand down to your hips and gave it a possessive squeeze. Her face was still neutral to appease to the cameras as she slowly turned to you with a smile. “…I believe it’s your turn now, dear.” She says in a calm tone, her hand still holding you roughly which was very unlike Himeko’s usual personality. 

“Wh— I…okay…” was Himeko jealous? One look at her eyes and you instantly could tell, she was going to wreck you later on the car ride home.

“Well, go on. Let’s read the first thirst comment together, shall we?” Himeko hums, sliding the phone over to you and ensnaring your fate.

“…Yes ma’am.” You say in a softer tone, shakily picking up the phone to read your thirst comments, and praying for your legs later tonight.

SERVAL

“@/lindseynguyen said: I want Serval to play me like how she plays her guitar. Rough and hard.”

Serval wheezes after reading that and hides her face into the table, laughing like a lawnmower gone bad as she struggles to keep herself from dying. “I ca— what the heck…” she’s close to tears and you have to hit her on the back to stop herself from choking. “Serval…get it together girl.”

“I can’t—” she’s laughing so much and has a bashful blush spreading across her face. The cameras capturing the radiant smile of famous singer; Serval Landau, who could capture the hearts of millions just by existing. “Just— holy sh*t. My fans are so bold.”

She flashes a wink at the camera and grins. “Don’t worry Lindsey, I’ll play my guitar extra hard for you in my next concert. Have a fun time.” 

She bursts out into giggles again and pulls you closer to stabilize herself. The two of you are just a bubbling mess as you couldn’t stop yourselves from giggling like a bunch of school girls.

“Okay okay, next comment…” you ushered playfully, smacking Serval on the arm and showing her the next thirst comment. Your girlfriend takes the phone and lets her eyes scan over the comment, bracing herself for what’s to come. 

“Anonymous said: Me if I was the guitar 🤰”

Serval’s eyes widened and she couldn’t help but choke a bit. 

“…If that’s the case. I got a lot of guitars pregnant in my time.” 

She smiles at you flirtatiously and you can’t help but give Serval the death glare. She grins like the mischievous woman that she was and gives your thigh a teasing squeeze from underneath the table. “You’re a weirdo.” You say through giggles, knowing exactly what Serval was talking about as she stares at you.

“Oh, I know.” She giggles back. “But you’d let this weirdo get you preg—”

You playfully kick her shin under the table and Serval winces mid sentence. “AH—!”

The cameras cut for a brief intermission and a few minutes later you were back to filming. With Serval rubbing her shin and making a pathetic “sad” face from your “abuse.”

“You’re so mean…” Serval pouts, resting her face on your shoulder. “Can you kiss it all better?”

“You’re a grown adult, Serval.” You laugh, giving her a gentle pat on the head. “I’m not your babysitter.”

“Yeah, but you could be my mo—”

“Next thirst comment!”

You smiled at the cameras and pulled Serval closer so she could react to the next Twitter comment. Her face immediately lying against yours as she got comfortable beside you. 

“Anonymous said: Not a waiter, but I would take her tip.”

Both you and Serval absolutely lose it at this one, the singer sucking in air through her teeth and trembling as she tries so hard not to scream. “Oh god…” Serval is smiling so hard her lips hurt. “Well uh, that’s…quite the compliment.” 

“Just an FYI for all you Serval fans,” you chuckle, leaning in closer to whisper at the camera. “Serval doesn’t have the tip—”

“HEY—!” 

You laugh as your girlfriend gets offended by that and moves to pull you back from the camera. “Hush now, there are people watching!” You roll your eyes and hold the next thirst comment in front of her for her to read. “What, the video is explicit enough anyways. Just read the next comment so it can be my turn!” You were excited to see what the comments would be about you, so you ushered Serval to hurry up and read the last comment. 

“Okay okay!” The singer exclaims, taking the phone and reading the next thirst comment, which ended up being the most downbad and horny comment Serval had ever seen.

“@/itsmeanobody said: Her strap is purple and sparkly. Was on it last night 🤭”

Serval’s face grew flushed and you couldn’t help but raise a brow at the mention of her strap. Though you weren’t jealous by any means, the words spilled out of your mouth faster than you could control. 

“Well actually, Serval’s favorite strap is hot pink with ridges instead of spark—”

Your girlfriend stared at you with wide eyes and you suddenly realized what you were saying. Both you, your girlfriend, and all the producers in the studio were all blushing red and laughing nervously before cutting the cameras. “Oh sh*t.” You laughed, Serval blushing red before smiling bashfully and giving your head a small smack. “You dumbass…” she laughs, pulling you closer for a brief hug.

“You’re gonna regret saying that later…”

Your eyes widened at her darkened tone yet Serval resumed her playful and relaxed nature, glancing at the director and making small talk with them as if it were nothing. “Could we cut that part out? We could just resume where we left off and continue onto her turn, yeah?”

The director nodded and gave a thumbs up, the cameras clicking back on as Serval ran her fingers down your back. “Let’s hurry up and get this video done with, hm? Go on, read your thirst comments.” She speaks in a gravelly tone, causing you to swallow nervously as you pick up the phone to begin reading your own comments. 

You knew what was waiting for you the moment you got home.

YUKONG

“Anonymous said: At this rate, No Nut November is gonna turn into Nonstop Nut November.”

Yukong raised a brow at this comment and glanced over at you with a confused expression. “Uhm…what is ‘No Nut November?’” Yukong asked with genuine confusion. She was one of the older actresses within the acting industry, so it was common sense that Yukong wouldn’t know a thing about modern terms and slang. 

“Uh…it’s like…” you chewed your bottom lip and tried to think of a way to explain it to your older girlfriend. “Uh, perhaps we should move on?”

“No, no no no.” Yukong frowned and stared at you with that intimidating, motherly look that made you feel like a child being scolded by your mother. “What is No Nut November. I want to know.” 

You winced and made a hand gesture for the cameras to stop filming. 

“Cut!”

There was a brief intermission pause and after a few moments, the cameras resumed to Yukong sitting in her seat with a shocked expression on her face. Her eyes wide with newfound understanding for the younger generation, as she looked like she had just discovered the meaning of the universe.

“…Yukong?”

“Why do younger people call masturbation ‘nutting.’” She sighs, rubbing her temple in dismay. “That— it doesn’t have anything to do with nuts?!”

“Let’s…Let’s just move on to the next comment.” You laugh nervously, rubbing a comforting hand against your lover’s back. 

“@/chucapybara said: When Yukong is done with me, I’m not the only one with granny knees by morning ✌️”

Your girlfriend looks almost offended by that and seems to gloss over the sexual innuendo written in that sentence. “Granny knees?! I am not that old…!”

“Well…” you stifle a chuckle and look away, Yukong glaring at you briefly before glancing at the cameras. “Oh please, not you too…”

“Awe, but there’s nothing wrong with being older, Yukong…” you giggle softly, teasing your partner by running a hand over her thigh. “You know I love the age difference…”

Yukong tenses up at your purr and she can’t help but grow excited with the way you were stroking her thigh. Sure Yukong was one of the older people within the acting industry, but hooking up with you was one of the best decisions she has ever made in her life, even if you were several years younger than her. 

“I…suppose you are right.” Yukong sighs, a small smile breaching her lips. “Let’s move on then, shall we?” 

She makes a move to read over the next comment, but it only leaves her more confused than ever. 

“Anonymous said: MILF MILF MILF YUKONG IS SUCH A MILF THAT CAN TAKE CARE OF ME AND RUIN ME, MOMMY I'M ON MY KNEES PRAYING THAT THE LORD FORGIVE MY SINS.”

Immediately after reading that, Yukong turns to you with the utmost expression of concern. The poor woman was still trying to comprehend what she had just read and seemed genuinely worried for the well-being of her fans. “Dear, what is a milf?”

A look of discomfort spread across your face as you sucked in a bunch of cold air between your teeth. You weren’t sure if you should tell Yukong what a milf was, and was starting to regret accepting the invite to be on this show. 

“Uhhh…they’re saying that you’re very attractive.” You say with a bit of hesitance, barely lying through your teeth in order to not tell her the true definition.

“Ah, really?” Yukong smiled at the flattering compliment. “I see then…”

She leans forward and grins innocently. “You’re a milf then, dear. A very nice milf.”

You choked on your spit and the cameras cut for a moment. Once you regained your senses, the recordings were flipped back on and you continued on with the video. “Okay…one last comment and let’s switch over to my turn, sounds good?”

Yukong nodded in agreement.

“Okay, here’s another comment for you, Yukong.”

“@/the-voxington-tavern said: I want Yukong to breed me. I want her to be feral and just break me. I want her to just rut her strap into me. I want her to be feral.”

Now this…this comment was one that Yukong fully understood. Her cheeks going hot at the way this commenter was so straightforward, and unable to speak for the first few moments. “Ah…my younger fans surely are enthusiastic…” Yukong chuckles, fanning her pink cheeks with her hand. “And very…descriptive with the way they describe their wants.”

You could tell Yukong was struggling to keep her composure, yet you were in the same boat as you couldn’t help but feel jealous that someone wanted your Yukong as desperately as you did. You knew Yukong was yours and yours alone, but you couldn’t stop yourself as you leaned in closer to whisper something into Yukong’s ear that had her perking up with delight.

“Yeah, but I’m the only one you rut your strap into every night, right?” you murmur quietly, a smile curling up on your lips. 

The older woman shivers at your words and you see a glint of ferocity appear in her eyes. Though you were just trying to tease her, it appears the teasing worked a bit too well, as your girlfriend was beginning to grow excited the more the video went on. She couldn’t wait for the filming to be over, and it was evident in the way she stared at you hungrily, waiting for you to finish your round of thirst comments so she could devour you when the cameras were cut. 

Perhaps after reading your round of thirst comments, her feelings would escalate. After all, not only was she impatient, but maybe she’d even grow a bit jealous…?

TOPAZ

“@/servalisms said: when I die, bury me in Topaz’s thighs.”

Topaz smirked at this and stood up from her seat, lifting her leg onto the table and giving it a confident smack. “I got your coffin right here, baby.”

Everyone on set, including you burst out into laughter, causing Topaz to chuckle before sitting back down. “I’m glad we can appreciate my thighs, though. I’ve been going to the gym to workout on my legs ever since I got that role for Triassic Park (Parody of Jurassic Park)”

“Mm, yeah. That movie was a pain to film,” you sighed, leaning your head on Topaz’s shoulder as she wrapped an arm around you to pull you closer. “Fun fact about the production of the film: Topaz was not expecting to do so many athletic stunts, so she had to work extra hard on an athletic build while filming on set. The first time we met, she was doing squats next to a raptor costume.”

“Heyyyy, at least it all paid off in the end. Now look, everyone is admiring my beautiful physique.” Topaz hums, giving you an arrogant smile. “Look, there’s even more comments about my thighs…”

“Anonymous said: Is it too hard to understand that I just want my head crushed between her thighs? 😔”

Topaz just smirks smugly at this and gives the camera a naughty look like she expected this to happen. “Oh? My fans want me to crush them between my thighs? Won’t that hurt?”

“If it hurts, it would be a good kind of hurt.” You say with a smile. “I’m sure everyone’s preferred death would be getting suffocated by you, Topaz.”

“Oh, everyone is just a masochist nowadays aren’t they?” She chuckles, “If that’s the case, I’d gladly crush any fan’s head. So long as they pay a proper price…”

There’s a mischievous glint in Topaz’s eyes that tells you she’s not even joking. The determination in her eyes making it obvious that she’d do anything for an extra income of cash. 

“Hm, so you’d make me pay if I wanted to get my head crushed by you?” You ask in a joking tone, gauging her reaction from your words.

“Pfft. Of course not.” Topaz smirks, lowering her voice to a whisper. “You’re the only one who gets my services free, babe.”

The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife, Topaz chuckling at the way you tensed up at her words and flush at the way she started squeezing your hand. “Anywhoooo I believe we should move on to the next comment, hm?” She grins before scrolling up to the next comment. 

“Anonymous said: TOPAZ 😩 I WANT TO BE HER CHAIR!” 

“Woahhh there.” Topaz chuckles, ears going a bit pink due to embarrassment. “Is that an offer for me to sit on your face…?” She grins at the camera, pulling you a bit tighter against her figure. “Sorry to burst your bubble, but unless you’re paying me some good money, there’s only one chair I’m sitting on tonight.”

She ruffles your hair at the implications and laughs at the way the producers all flush with embarrassment. Topaz surely was one of the bolder celebrities out there, and she didn’t hesitate to break the filters if she wanted to even if it might cause public outrage. 

“Topaz…” you mumble under your breath, getting a little nervous with how blunt Topaz was being.

“What, it’s true.” She chuckles. “But, it’s interesting to know I have so many people willing to become my chair. Perhaps I should ask if any of our other co-stars are interested in it too.” 

“I know I am.” You mumble under your breath, Topaz catching the words before smiling a little at the thought. “Oh, I know…”

She lets out a small, amused laugh before opening up the last comment to read. “@/qqinggue said: TOPAZ BE MY SUGAR MOMMY????”

“Hey that’s my sugar mom— MMPF!” Topaz quickly covered your mouth and began laughing at the comment, trying to keep your relationship a secret despite how bold you two could get on camera. “Ahhh, a Qingque fan, eh?” Topaz chuckles, still keeping your mouth muffled as she threw a sleazy grin at the cameras. “You sure you don’t want Qingque to be your sugar mommy instead?” 

Topaz continues laughing to cover up your muffled talking before moving in to whisper in your ear. “Don’t throw a fuss. You know damn well we have to keep that part of our relationship a secret.” She chuckles, rubbing a comforting finger across your temple before turning back to the camera.

“Well, that’s all the thirst comments for me! We should move on to (Reader) now, hm?” She smirks and side glances at you like nothing was wrong. “Be a good girl now. Hurry up and finish filming so we can go home.”

Your eyes widened before nodding enthusiastically, eager to comply with Topaz’s requests to begin your round of thirst comments. 

Who knows, maybe Topaz will get a little jealous her sugar baby is receiving all this attention…?

[anqelbean]

SVSSS finished fic recs

Weeeeeee, I have so many bookmarks, I gotta do something with 'em, hope you enjoy! Most are gonna be BingQiu/Yuan

two lonely souls at sunset by lilacbuddy

Rating: T; Words: 38,049; Main Pairing: BinggeYuan

“Who are you?” Luo Binghe asked coldly. Shen Yuan wanted to bury himself in the dirt. He couldn’t have made a bigger fool of himself. “I- This one is Shen Yuan, Lord Luo,” he hastily responded, dropping into a low bow to properly greet the emperor. Even after seven years in the palace, Shen Yuan still struggled with the formal speech of scholars and nobility. “Shen…” Luo Binghe whispered. Shen Yuan winced. Of course, Luo Binghe wouldn’t know who he was by name alone. “This one is Lord Luo’s fifth husband,” Shen Yuan answered. --- Or, Shen Yuan wants life to feel like an adventure, Luo Bingge wants someone to truly love him, and a magical road-trip will somehow solve both of their problems

The Employee of the Month is Actually a Virgin? by glowingreverie

Rating: G (though I'd argue it's T); Words: 2,993; Main Pairing: Bingqiu

"Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!" parody with Bingqiu. In which Luo Binghe is a sad virgin on his thirtieth birthday and Shen Qingqiu unknowingly makes him fall in love with him.

i'll be your boy backstage by nyoomerr

Rating: M; Words: 8,369; Main Pairing: BinggeYuan

Do obsessions from other worlds form a basis for a healthy relationship? Asking for a friend.

affections touching across time by miss_coverly

Rating: T; Words: 2,616; Main Pairing: BingYuan

At first glance, the most reasonable explanation was that Shen Yuan had transmigrated into some web novel set during the Feudal Era, but a quick pat down of his intact clothes and beating heart had confirmed that he was still alive. Alive—and still in his own body. He earned a lot of stares from villagers, who endlessly muttered about his odd clothes, his odd haircut. One comment always cut above the rest, though, something about looking so much like the old Peak Lord, it’s a bit unnerving. Shen Yuan wasn’t sure what to make of all that, and furthermore, the only thing he found truly unnerving was how Luo Binghe couldn’t stand him. (Inuyasha au)

Proud Immortal Dragon Way by glacierdust

Rating: T; Words: 7,408; Main Pairing: BingYuan

The day Shen Yuan found a dragon on the balcony of his apartment, surrounded by burnt vines and fire roasted tomatoes, was the day his life changed. In other words, the local disaster millennial who can’t even take care of himself adopts an injured dragon.

The Way I Dreamed Of You by straightforwardly

Rating: E; Words: 3,397; Main Pairing: BingQiu

The one in which Without A Cure turns out to have another side-effect as well. Cat ears, ahoy! Or: while trapped inside the Holy Mausoleum, Shen Qingqiu goes into heat.

Top Notes of Violence by zarasu

Rating: T; Words: 3,679; Main Pairing: BingYuan

Luo Binghe has been born with a scent defect; no matter his mood, he always smells aggressive. In a world where everyone relies on their sense of smell, this means Binghe can't catch a break. Until he meets Shen Yuan.

and in dreaming, I know you by PandaFlower

Rating: M; Words: 3,548; Main Pairing: BinggeYuan

Shen Yuan blinked, in the manner of a dreamer being both reeling with shock yet also numb to it. “Well, of course you are!” “Of course I am?” Luo Binghe parroted, arching one of his regal brows. “You’re exceedingly handsome,” Shen Yuan nodded sagely, this whole encounter made sense now, “and Luo Binghe is said to be the most attractive man in existence; naturally you must be him.” (In which Shen Yuan has a very strange dream.)

right from the start, I gave you my heart by nex_et_nox

Rating: T; Words: 11,322; Main Pairing: BingQiu

"Bro, you know how many words I wrote per day, and how many plants I created!” Shang Qinghua whines. "I can't remember them all, it's impossible." Shen Qingqiu narrows his eyes. "It was used with Wife #418.” "That doesn't narrow it down any further. I'm not going to be able to guess it, so stop punishing me and just tell me how the flower nerfed you." Shen Qingqiu grits his teeth. Obviously he wants to draw this out to punish Shang Qinghua, but it kinda looks more like he's punishing himself. There's a muscle flexing in his jaw, and if he puts any more pressure on his fan's guard, it's going to snap. Uh, actually, Shen Qingqiu kind of looks like he's in pain— “A false dragonhead is also called an obedient plant. It’s in the name—the flower forces you to do whatever you're told," Shen Qingqiu spits out.

or: Shen Qingqiu runs afoul of one of Airplane's stupid wife-plot devices...just before a mission to Jinlan City.

The Short Way Home by zarasu

Rating: T; Words: 4,008; Main Pairing: BingQiu

After leaving the Abyss and joining Huan Hua Sect, Binghe decides to take a little trip to Qing Jing Peak. He puts his recently learned shape-shifting skills to good use and assumes the form of Ming Fan to just get a little peek at Shizun. What he finds there isn't quite what he expected. Shizun, a grieving widow?

Truly The Best Worst Timing by AceOfDivineChlorophyll

Rating: M; Words: 9,962; Main Pairing: BingQiu

So maybe taking a bath in a plague ridden city late at night after meeting up with your former disciple turned vengeful protagonist out to kill you wasn’t the brightest decision. Mu Qingfang insisted it would help relax him though! And in a way it did… just… after being jump scared by the vengeful protagonist.

Catboy Blues by posthumous_vigor

Rating: E; Words: 11,403; Main Pairing: BingYuan

Shen Qingqiu has a pet cat. The disciples dote on it, jokingly calling it “Shizun” because of the haughty way it carries itself and the green ribbon around its neck. Chief among its admirers is Luo Binghe, who treasures every moment of kindness shown to him. And the cat, with its sharp green eyes and human-like intelligence, is very kind to him. Meanwhile, Shen Yuan has some complicated feelings about being a catboy.

Cold Hands, Warm Heart by Zizzani

Rating: T; Words: 16,274; Main Pairing: MoShang

“If the body can’t warm up, then things get uh, b-bad?” Mobei-jun cuts him a look that’s made for slaughter. “What does that mean?” “A-ah, it’s called hypothermia, my king.” “And you die once it happens.” Again, not a question. “You can.” When Mobei-jun makes an absolutely terrifying face, Shang Qinghua hastens to add, “But not instantly! Y-you can actually recover from it, if the hypothermia doesn’t progress too far.” “How far?” Mobei-jun growls. “There are f-f-f-five stages,” Shang Qinghua shivers out, lips numb. “The fifth stage is death.” - Shang Qinghua and Mobei-jun have their spiritual powers sealed before getting dumped in a white-out snowstorm. Mobei-jun quickly learns that humans are far more susceptible to the cold than he thought.

so you have a bad day by tagteamme

Rating: E; Words: 30,999; Main Pairing: MoShang

Shang Qinghua is not stupid. It does not take a genius to know what it means when you ask a servant where your lord has left to and they readily supply the name of an exclusive brothel in between the two realms. Especially when it's after your utterly disastrous first time together. So he goes away for a bit to clear his head. And promptly gets kidnapped.

it's you I find like a ghost in my mind by nex_et_nox

Rating: M; Words: 20,751; Main Pairing: BingQiu

Luo Binghe doesn’t mean to reach out to Shen Qingqiu. It’s a combination of instinct, the force of habit, and sheer agonized longing that causes him to do it anyway. His physical body is safely ensconced in his rooms at Huan Hua Palace, where he has recently been accepted as a visiting disciple, but his mind— His mind is on Qing Jing Peak. He doesn’t even realize it isn’t one of his own dreams at first.

or: while at Huan Hua, Luo Binghe keeps sharing dreams with his shizun, and it doesn't take long to notice that there is something very, very wrong with Shizun's dreamscape

Immortal Lamb Crusader Way by Mikkeneko

Rating: T; Words: 15,181; Main Pairing: BingQiu

Shen Yuan finds himself transmigrated into the last video game he played before his death -- the dungeon-delving, cult-building anthro hit game of the year, Immortal Lamb Crusader Way. Much to his dismay he finds himself in the role of the BBEG, the God of Death, He Who Waits -- Shen Qingqiu! Is there any way he can guide the protagonist, Luo Binghe, to level-up and victory without falling victim himself to the Lamb Crusader's blade? And why does he want to pet the Lamb's fleecy head so badly? He's not a furry, okay! He's not!

The Black Lotus Lounge by honeylotus

Rating: E; Words: 10,633; Main Pairing: LesBingYuan

“I’m Luo Binghe. This is my place.” Shen Yuan’s eyes widen. Of all the people to take interest in her, ah!

continued by AMereDream

Rating: T; Words: 13,926; Main Pairing: BinggeYuan

> ... and also, you've started reusing old text again. Kudos to you for almost making it six chapters without using the copy/paste button! The way you described Luo Binghe reacting to AU!Shen Qingqiu is almost exactly the same as the way you described the wife of the Pale Moon Arc, Chapter 3425 to be specific. Is it really that hard to come up with another turn of phrase, or are you just that lazy? And furthermore... (Read More) >> O.o what if its deliberate tho... >> "...the same as the way you described the wife..." Uhhh Airplane? That was an accident, right? Airplane?? (or, several weeks after Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky had posted what he swore was the last chapter of Proud Immortal Demon Way, a new chapter was uploaded to the site.)

Liquid Truth by zarasu

Rating: T; Words: 5,217; Main Pairing: BingQiu

Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu have been married for almost four years, and Shen Qingqiu decides it's high time he told his husband his little secret. Binghe doesn't quite react as expected.

Can’t You Just Believe Me? by AceOfDivineChlorophyll

Rating: T; Words: 6,928; Main Pairing: BingQiu

Luo Binghe finally had Shizun where he couldn’t escape, tied up and at his mercy and still the man wouldn’t talk to him, wouldn’t answer any of his questions and instead kept accusing Binghe of things he didn’t do. Fine, Shizun doesn’t want to talk, Luo Binghe can fix that. He doesn’t want to believe Binghe, he can fix that too. After all, this truth serum was strong enough to work even on Heavenly Demons.

Life is (not) a Hallmark Movie by mellicindi

Rating: T; Words: 143,334; Main Pairing: BingYuan

Shen Yuan isn't lonely. He's just overseas in a new city, trying to muddle his way through a business degree, and dealing with the side effects of his stupid intestines trying to kill him. So, maybe he sometimes watches ASMR to cope with his too-quiet apartment. Maybe he has a little bit of a parasocial-relationship-thing going on with one particular cooking ASMR channel. It's 2016, who doesn't? The point is, he's content with his quiet life. And then Shang Qinghua strong-arms him into watching one Hallmark Christmas movie, and it all goes to hell. Or: Shen Yuan is a Hallmark movie protagonist, Luo Binghe is a Lifetime movie protagonist, and somehow they make it work.

instructions unclear, ghost husband obtained by aksnevv

Rating: T; Words: 25,449; Main Pairing: BingQiu

To make things clear: Shen Qingqiu doesn't believe in ghosts or spirits. At least, he didn’t. But alas, it all started when a strangely suspicious blog posted over ten years prior was read to him on one fateful day. Who knew that just five hundred poorly-typed words written in comic sans on a clearly outdated website would lead to Shen Qingqiu dragging around a living (questionable), handsome (unfairly so) ghost that happens to be the subject of the most notorious urban legend-- following him around like a lovesick puppy, cooking him breakfast and ironing his clothes? Definitely not Shen Qingqiu.

All We Can Do Is Try by corduroyserpent

Rating: G; Words: 2,962; Main Pairing: TianXi

Su Xiyan has no trouble taking deadly poison…it's parenting she's worried about.

How to Catch a Mer-Snake (No Net Required!) by corduroyserpent

Rating: G; Words: 7,522; Main Pairing: GongZhi

Zhuzhi-lang doesn’t get close—wary as he is of strangers—but he does gather the courage to sneak a tiny peek above the waves. He makes sure not to show too much of himself, only the very little needed to see what’s happening.  And what he sees is…well…it's a boy. Slightly older than Luo Binghe, with long dark hair tied back at the nape of his neck.  A human. - Was anyone going to tell Gongyi Xiao there was a whole boyfriend hidden under the ocean or was he just supposed to save a mer-snake's life and find out himself?

a touch of honey by goatpunch

Rating: G; Words: 5,366; Main Pairing: GongZhi

Zhuzhi-lang is trying to make it as a writer, but his life is interrupted by a certain (annoyingly handsome) barista at his favorite coffee spot. It doesn't help when his friends and family seem intent on setting the two of them up.

grow beyond by AMereDream

Rating: T; Words: 5,790; Main Pairing: QiJiu

It all began when Shen Qingqiu brought a baby to the twice-yearly Peak Lord Meeting. Or, perhaps it all started nine months before that, when Shen Qingqiu stumbled upon a very special plant.

some little nothings by tagteamme

Rating: E; Words: 6,986; Main Pairing: BingQiu

Luo Binghe has been acting a little strange. Well— not strange in the traditional sense. He’s not been acting moody, nor has he been acting irritable or rude or secretive. Instead, he’s been… respectful. In the way he talks, in the way he touches, in the distance that he keeps. And the fact that he’s keeping distance to begin with. While Shen Qingqiu theoretically should appreciate the breathing space, in reality it’s been sort of irritating. More than anything, he wants to know why Luo Binghe has stopped properly taking him to bed.

From the Heights by any_open_eye

Rating: E; Words: 9,222; Main Pairing: BingYuan

"Are you here to watch me bathe? That's rude." The dog huffs out a breath, sitting down in front of the bath. Shen Yuan can't resist reaching out to pat it on the head. It really is a handsome beast, once you get over the teeth and the rumbling growls. The strangely intelligent eyes. "Where do you come from, anyway? I've never seen anything like you." The dog licks his fingers. (Shen Yuan finds an injured monster high on the mountain. He brings it home.)

The Dumb Teacher Self-Saving System by Fluffy_Nightmare

Rating: G; Words: 4,263; Main Pairing: BingYuan

Luo Binghe had a hard time reading Shen Yuan. The youth's face appeared to be forged from pure and cold jade, not flesh and blood, as he never showed any emotions. From time to time the peak lord could spot disgust or contempt when the demon-king-to-be looked at him, but nothing beyond that. Shen Qingqiu never smiled, never shed a tear, but it was to be expected. After all, he was a scum protagonist of “The Bloody Path of the Immortal Demon” - a web novel written by a user Frost, the one containing more backstabbing, revenge plans and dead bodies than a history of the last hundred years of humanity. For him to show his weaknesses was unthinkable. Soon, it would change.

Welcome To My Table (Bring Your Hunger) by SpiritOfFox

Rating: M; Words: 50,442; Main Pairing: BingYuan

Shen Yuan died, woke up, then almost died again. Afraid for his life as a demon in the spirit caves of Cang Qiong he runs as far as he could... Only he didn't count on Peak Lord Luo chasing him down. AKA a role-reversal fic where Luo Binghe's secrets have secrets and Shen Yuan is in no way ready to live as a demon in the world of the hit stallion novel he transmigrated into.

the hands by which he fell by airplanelanding (TheCourtSorcerer)

Rating: T; Words: 7,513; Main Pairing: BingQiu

But he didn’t run, and maybe that was more devastating. More devastating, more soul-crushing, more heart-shattering—because he flinched. The moment Luo Binghe lifted a hand to his face, inches from touching him, his shizun, Shen Qingqiu, poised and aloof and composed and fearless Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu, flinched. And, oh, if that didn’t hurt. Or Jinlan City but Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe actually talk.

residue of yesterday by el_em_en_oh_pee

Rating: E; Words: 8,928; Main Pairing: LesBingQiu

It took Shen Qingqiu an embarrassingly long time to realize that Luo Binghe was literally there in her dreams. Her first thought was, 'This didn't happen in Proud Immortal Demon Way?!' Her second thought was, 'Luo Binghe's clearly been practicing a lot... and making quite a bit of progress.' Her third thought was, frankly, embarrassing. But as a noted fan/hater of Proud Immortal Demon Way, it was just so cool to see the protagonist acquire new skills! Skills that, when fully blackened, would no doubt lead to Shen Qingqiu's undoing. Whoops.

A Guilty Conscience by Underworld_Melon

Rating: T; Words: 1,882; Main Pairing: BingQiu

“Shizun should know,” Binghe says, smoothly caressing his hair with the bloodied hand and a voice rich like honey, “that this heavenly demon knows ways to find out if one is lying.” or Shen Qingqiu is in the Huan Hua Palace. Binghe reads his mind. It all goes very well.

wonderstruck (blushing all the way home) by sweetdreamers

Rating: T; Words: 10,143; Main Pairing: BingQiu

Luo Binghe wants to combust. His professor should be illegal. Or at least labelled with a warning. Too much exposure to one (1) Shen Qingqiu will cause spontaneous combustion. Approach at your own risk. - or, slytherin!binghe pining after oblivious potions master!shen qingqiu

dirty imbecile by plutoisgay

Rating: E; Words: 11,559; Main Pairing: LesBinggeYuan

Shen Yuan never asked questions when customers came seeking her out, even as they increasingly asked for targeted death spells or life-long, horrid curses. It wasn’t any of her business, and she needn’t get involved with the carriage-wreck that was those revenge plots. Even when she had to etch the same words ‘icy river’ again and again into beautifully carved cutlery and plates and vases, as red-faced women reached her shop in swarms as the months passed by, asking for monstrosity inducing curses, for seals that cause the downfall of kingdoms, for targeted attacks against a woman who had a better life than any of those that slithered their way into Shen Yuan’s business. Shen Yuan became experienced in carving ‘Luo Binghe’ into the tiny spots of her work, hidden by a neat handle or painted design. She didn’t ask questions, even as word reached her city that a new demon had risen to power, quickly taking control of the two demonic realms and coming for the final one left untouched. - A mysterious cultivator stumbles across Shen Yuan's home, in dire need of nurture and care. Shen Yuan calls BS. Luo Binghe, as things will have it, is not a force to be trifled with.

Marriage By Proxy by x_los

Rating: M; Words: 5,464; Main Pairing: BingQiu

Peak lord Shen Qingqiu has been officially betrothed to the demonic prince Su Binghe via an intermediary. Prince Binghe's chamberlain is attentive, comely, and absolutely not the man Shen Qingqiu should be falling in love with.

murder cat sword only likes its wielder's boyfriend by PandaFlower

Rating: T; Words: 5,039; Main Pairing: BinggeYuan

Instead of being found by Huan Hua Palace disciples, Luo Binghe meets a Wan Jian disciple who instantly falls in love with his sword. No, not that sword. Xin Mo.

It's Just A Matter Of When by ritualist

Rating: T; Words: 4,326; Main Pairing: BingYuan

“So I’ll need to be direct,” Binghe says. “Got it. What else?” “I’m not helping you,” Shang Qinghua says. “You haven’t even got his number and you’re already being unbearable about this.”

[da-janela-lateral]

MP100 Soap Opera AU - AKA "Mob o Psíquico"

On the next friday, on 8 PM... Shigeo Kageyama, a meek and hardworking 18 year old, is forced to move to Seasoning City with his brother Ritsu after a tragic housefire kills their parents. They stay with their godfather Reigen, a good-hearted man, but with serious financial issues. Because he doesn't want Ritsu's studies to be interrupted, Shigeo decides to help with the bills by working as a butler for the influential Hanazawa family. He quickly becomes a target for his bosses' only son, Teruki, and their strange rivalry slowly turns into something unexpected.

With a main cast of:

Shigeo Kageyama - the protagonist of this soap opera, a timid young man who becomes a butler on the Hanazawa manor. He receives the mockery and the nickname "Mob" from the manor's old crew, yet gets to win their hearts with his kind personality. When Teruki starts to show him romantic interest, Shigeo is unsure if he should listen to his emotions or to his reason, as he knows he depends on this job and can't risk people purposely interpreting his intentions in the wrong way...

Ritsu Kageyama - his smart and talented younger brother, and his only family. Ritsu is doing his best to exceed academically and get a scholarship on a prestigious university. However, nobody suspects he is also sneaking out with his friend Shou to fight the Claw criminal syndicate, which he believes to be responsible for his parents' deaths...

Arataka Reigen - an esoteric itens seller and Shigeo and Ritsu's godfather. Reigen offers support and advice for the siblings while they're under his wing, despite being unprepared for this new role. What neither of them know, though, is that Reigen is dating older men to pay off their debts, including a member of the very organization Ritsu wants to destroy...

Teruki Hanazawa - the Hanazawas' only son and their future heir, an arrogant youth who rules the manor while his parents are overseas. He tries to annoy and boss Shigeo around like he does with his lackeys, but ends falling in love with him. His affection is forbidden, because his parents want him to marry Minori, the daughter of the powerful Asagiri family, as soon as they return...

Master Dimple - a priest turned capoeira instructor, he is the middle-aged friend of Shigeo and Reigen. Dimple is almost always on Shigeo and Ritsu's side and keeps giving them terrible ideas. When he is mistaken for another priest and confessed a shocking reveal to, Dimple doesn't know whether he tells Shigeo of what is to come, or if he keeps the promise of "being honest" he had made with him (not actually)...

-----

Have you ever thought your action shounen needed more ridiculously melodramatic intrigue? There is a solution! For some reason, I really wanted to make a overdramatic soap opera parody and this AU has been very fun to write. I hope I can share more of whatever this is with you guys soon!

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Band AU: Hazbin Hotel

Because there's always a band AU.

-666 News Broadcast Theme Plays through the dive bar cafe from the small, flickering TV in the corner-

Katie Killjoy: Breaking News in the Pop industry today! Our sunshine and rainbows, Mandy Moore wannabe, and Princess of Hell, Charlotte Morningstar, has come out with a new music video to help promote a brand new album that appears to have been conjured up seemingly overnight.

Angel: Hey, Vagina! (Elbows Vaggie) Ain't that your girl crush from the open band night down at Husk's Casino two months ago?

Vaggie: (chokes on her coffee) What?! Turn it up, Jackass!

Angel: (steals the remote from across the bartop and turns up the TV)

Tom Trench: And, boy howdy, this makeover is on par with most Disney child stars diving off the deep end!

Katie Killjoy: (spears a pen through Tom's hand) No one gives a shit Tom.

Tom Trench: MY HAND!!!

Katie Killjoy: Spectators and fans of our usually diabetically sweet princess feel that this sudden shift is caused by her breakup with Seviathan Von Eldritch just last month, ending the royal arranged engagement, after he mentioned how she refused to "put out" before marriage in an interview with Hell's High Class Weekly.

Vaggie: (bristles) The douchebag....

Katie Killjoy: Let's watch as our lovely princess makes her breakdown public.

-Screen shifts to Charlie holding a mic in one hand while picking a guitar in another, wearing 2000's Avril Lavigne glam rock attire (hot pink, baggy cargo pants, black leather studded belt, rainbow converse, black leather wrist bands, grey tank top with two black goats faced just the right way so their curved horns make a heart and tied together with a rainbow knot, and a black and red stripped tie) Razzle and Dazzle are playing drums and bass-

Charlie: Don't you know that IIIIIIIII- (flips off the camera and sticks out her tongue while mouthing "Fuck you, Seviathan" as the song reaches its climax) I don't give a daaaaaaaamn about you!!! I won't give it up, not for you!!! I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy. A guy who thinks he's all that!

Vaggie: Whoa! (Big smiles like when Adam got stabbed) Get it, Charlie!

Katie Killjoy: (as the screen returns to normal) Other songs on the album include "Behind These Crimson Eyes", "The Dick Who Blocked His Own Shot", "Smack a Bitch", "Since U Been Gone", and the gay community's rabid favorite "Dear Vaggie"-

Angel: (sucking down his third popsicle for breakfast) What now?

Vaggie: WHAT?!?!?!?!

Katie Killjoy: -The obviously plagiarized parody of "Cool for the Summer" by Demi Lovato has unsubtle lesbian and bisexual overtones that specifically mentions Vaggie "the Steel Vagina". The lead singer and guitarist of the Power/Grunge Metal band, Fallen Angels

Angel: (wheezes as he laughs breathlessly and falls off his stool)

Vaggie: (steaming) Angel!!! ¡Eres un chupapollas, hijo de puta! Why would you tell the news that was my name?!

Angel: (ugly walrus gasps and giggles) Because it's better than I ever dreamed!!!!

Katie Killjoy: Fans of both artists are absolutely frothing at the mouth to see what Vaggie's response will be.

Tom Trench: Frothing at the mouth and other orifices, if you catch my drift. (Gets a pen slammed into his balls) GaaAhaHaaaaHaha!

Katie Killjoy: More on this story tonight at eleven.

Vaggie:

Angel: Soooooo~ Whatcha wanna doooooo~?

Vaggie: We're going to Tune Town, getting a copy of that album-

Angel: Ooooooooh-hohohoooooh~ I can visit dat nice glory hole they got there.

Vaggie: -THEN!!! We are going back to the apartment and making a response single.

Angel: Do you know what you even want to put in it?

Vaggie: (slipping on her jacket) I'll figure it out after listening to the album!

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

Hallmark/Romcom Recs

This week, we have seven recs for fics that are fluffy, cozy, and maybe even a little Christmassy. Check them out beneath the cut, and as always - comment and kudos if you like them!

LOVE & OTHER ENCHANTMENTS by LivThael (2092, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

The trailer for the hottest romcom in Wildemount: a breathtaking tale of books, ambition, and totally unexpected out-of-left-field love.

Reccer says: If you only ever read one modern romcom AU, let this one be it. It's a loving parody of its genre and had me in stitches from start to finish!

(If One Could Be Home) They'd Be Already There by DotyTakeThisDown (25820, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

When Caleb stays in the on-campus apartments, he expects to be alone for winter break. He doesn't expect to run into Essek Thelyss in the laundry room.

Reccer says: A great college AU and one that takes place during the winter holidays. Sweet and fun, and one that I come back to

it's never too late by idontreallylikebutterflies (6767, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek and Caleb had a secret relationship in high school. Then Essek moved away, only coming home for the holidays, where he'd hook up with Caleb again.

Reccer says: It's like a smidge less fluffy than a hallmark movie, but it's holiday related and also still very much a romcom premise. Sweet and a little angsty, with a lot of pining idiots

All the Way Home by Dragonslaeyr (18418, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek Thelyss is ready to work through Christmas, but one wayward passenger might just be enough to change his mind.

Reccer says: A classic - great banter, great atmosphere, and a cute Holiday Shadowgast AU. Also, Essek as an uber driver - amazing

no place to go (let it snow!) by Dragonslaeyr (20586, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: None

Caleb gets stuck at the airport during the holidays. He meets Essek, and they spend the night exploring the airport and getting to know each other

Reccer says: I liked it!

And then two recs for the next one: a winter's crest detour by jaskofalltrades (22873, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb and Essek meet on a plane during Winters Crest holiday and end up getting to know one another.

Reccer 1 says: This is one of my favorite feel good fics to read! I love the interactions and chemistry between the two. In the end love wins! Reccer 2 says: I liked it!

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week, we’ll be back with fics featuring Rescues!

[autumnmobile12]

AU where Touya went Pro after the coma...but also did not contact his family, so they're still under the assumption he's dead and Dabi is just another Pro who's really, really quiet about his private life.

...mostly because I can see a parody of this exchange from Hazbin Hotel:

Shouto: *banging on door* Dabi! Dabi, we need to speak! *stares into security camera* I know your real identity! We can talk about it inside or I can yell about it out here!

*door slides open*

Shouto: Damn right you open that door.

...

Dabi: You have two minutes to convince me not to finish what I started when you were a baby.

[angelpassing-by]

TODAY WON'T BE THE END.

Pairing: Wriothesley x reader Genre: angst, comfort. Your boyfriend Wriothesley finds you during a depressive episode, after self harming, and comforts you. Modern AU. Tw: self harm, suicide talk, not graphic mention of injuries and blades, self harm scars. A/N: English is not my first language, this is my first ever time triying to write fanfiction. Basicaly, I've been struggling for some time now and craving some sh comfort comfort, which is quite difficult to come across. So I decided to write my own with my current comfort character.

It is quite late when Wriothesley sets a foot in your shared apartment. The soft tick-tack of the kitchen clock being the only thing to greet him. Normally you would greet him every night, lazily hugging him in your pajamas. Today, however, there's no sign of your presence in the home. Hopping to find you in the bedroom he makes his way through the corridor, trying his best not to wake you up with his heavy steps.

To his surprise, the bed is untouched and some quiet sniffles can be heard coming from the other side of the bathroom door.

"Dear?" his knocks on the door make you panic even more, fumbling with the first aid kit and the supplies scattered around it in the tile floor.

"Are you okay?" he heard no response but some metallic clatter on the other side as you managed to fit your blades back into their hidden box.

He had seen your scars, kissed them, touched them. To his eyes they were just another part of you, whom he lovingly adored, not taking away any of your beauty despite your self-deprecating talk about them. But that also meant he was aware of what those scars implied, he had even seen some of them heal, help you bandage them.

"I'm coming in." Without waiting for your response he gently pushes the door open.

Wriothesley's heart breaks when he seen your sobbing form on the floor, surrounded by bloodied papers and crimson stains. He kneels beside you, taking your face into his hands.

"What happened love?" but you can only cry harder and mumble gibberishly under your breath.

Wrio then takes your arm, handling it with much more care than you've ever had for your own body. He inspects the fresh cuts as you look at him through soaked lashes. The sanitary alcohol stings badly but you barely notice it and the bandages he wraps around your forearm feel soft and warm, a parody of a hug somehow.

After being appropriately patched up, Wrio opens his arms, about to hug you.

"No,No!" you hastily exclaim with a broken voice. "You'll get you clothes dirty." He chuckles and wraps you in his strong arms, trapping you in his warm body - safety.

"Do you what to tell me what happened?" he asks cautiously, after braking your embrace, whipping you tears away with his thumbs.

"I don't think-- I- can" you stumble with your words "-- you know - this- do this."

"This?"

"Life." you whisper.

"Oh" the implications of your words take some time to register, but when they do, he engulfs you in his arms again, perhaps hopping that you don't notice the stray tear that rolls down his cheek.

Time goes by incredibly slow until he grabs your face again and locks his eyes with yours. "I know you can, I know you will do this" Wrio's words are barely loud enough to be heard.

"I'm scared -- I - don't know what to do, I know nothing, I feel so lost". The tears, gone and dry in your face, return, and you hate yourself for letting them pour again.

"I know, love. It's so difficult to know what the future holds. I don't think anybody out there knows exactly how to do life. But hear me out, you are not alone in this, you've got me, you've got your friends, your family. You don't have to figure life alone. Fuck, you don't even need to figure it out at all." His expression softens when you giggle at his last words. "love, you don't have to know how to do life, and if you feel uncertain again, know for a fact that I've got you."

"No matter what?"

"No matter what" he responds placing a kiss on your forehead.