#aubughead

[tea-and-cardigans]

What Fools These Mortals Be. Chapter One

Multi-chapter AU

The Riverdale Community Theatre Company is staging its greatest production to date: “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”. Betty Cooper sees this as an opportunity to make the company’s most sought-after actor, Archie Andrews, hers. Unfortunately, new girl in town, Veronica Lodge has scored a lead role, putting her directly opposite Archie. Behind the scenes, Jughead Jones has returned to his usual role back stage but is soon drafted into the play when one of the actors has an accident. Meanwhile, director Kevin Keller just wants to stage a successful play and keep his actors private lives separate.

Big shout out to the awesome @jandjsalmon who is beta'ing and is amazing. She is a cornerstone of this fandom and I am so happy to have her help with bringing this story to life.

Also thank you to @zombiekittez who is answering my questions around the intricacies of community theatre, it has really helped me in visualising and creating this story.

Chap 1 / Chap 2 / Chap 3 / Chap 4 / Chap 5 / Chap 6 / Chap 7 / Ao3 / FF.net

I will be attempting to update this regularly as possible with at least one update per week, possibly more depending on my brain’s co-operation.

“I cannot just stand by and watch you do this again,” Kevin Keller huffed, watching his blonde best friend as she adjusted herself in the mirror. Betty Cooper had asked him to come by before the first meeting of their community theatre group, to give her a pep talk and to help her choose an outfit. He was not entirely holding up his side of the bargain though, instead he was trying to talk her out of whatever elaborate plan she had this time.

“You make it sound so dramatic, Kevin.” She looked at him briefly before turning back to her reflection. Betty was trying to decide between two lip shades, ‘perfect pink’ or ‘seductive red’. Her fingers itched to choose the scarlet shade, but as she applied the colour she immediately changed her mind and wiped it off, returning to her signature shade. She liked to play it safe, and tonight she needed the comfort of the usual.

“Every year you make moon eyes at him and every year he ends up bedding another member of the cast,” Kevin said, not unkindly, more matter of fact. He didn’t like to hurt her, but sometimes he had to tell it like it was.

“Well then it’s about time that it’s my turn,” Betty answered in her typical, self-depreciating humour. She knew pining was a silly thing for a grown woman to do. Chasing the boy around like a puppy, begging at his heels for any bit of attention he would throw her way.

Kevin scowled, upset that she thought so little of herself.

“Oh don’t look at me like that, it was a joke,” she added rolling her eyes, a half-truth.

“Betty, you know I love you, but don’t make a fool of yourself this year.” His tone was serious. He swore everyone in the damn group knew the feelings that Betty had for Archie, except Archie – who was a great actor but extraordinarily oblivious on the best of days.

“God, Kevin! You make me sound like a silly school girl,” she huffed, twirling her flaring skirt as she faced him, her make-up now flawless, looking every bit as perfect as everyone thought she was.

“Your words,” he quipped with a smirk before she grabbed a cushion from the nearby couch and threw it at him. Chuckling, Kevin caught it before it could hit his face and threw it back at her gently.

She knew what her friend was saying was true, it wasn’t like this was new thing. It happened every year without fail when the gang got back together to perform. Good old Betty Cooper was there being her perfect self, waiting for any tiny glimmer of an opportunity with Archie Andrews to roll around... but every year it was like she didn’t even exist to him as more than just a friend. Another year and another production meant yet another chance for him to see what he had been missing, for him to see her.

“So, great director of ours, what play are you having us do this year?” She asked, finally taking a seat next to him on the couch. She was flattering him to change the subject, and not being so subtle about it.

Kevin knew what she was doing, but let it go for now. “I have something special planned, a classic, Shakespeare,” he answered with an excited smile. He looked forward to these plays each year. The RCTC was a small community group with only enough funding to produce one show a year, but every year he made sure it was as grand as it could possibly be. Auditions were always open to the entire community but the usual suspects seemed to always turn out – of course, Betty being one of them. She had been performing with him in them since they were in high school, side by side until Kevin had been offered the position of director which he had been only too eager to accept.

Not that the job was easy by any stretch of the imagination. Keeping the private lives of his actors separate from the production was usually his main challenge. The ‘Betty and Archie Saga’ was a perpetual thorn in his side. He loved Betty, he did, but the poor girl just did not know when to quit. Most people would have been turned down once and accepted it, but good old Betty Cooper always came back for more.

If it wasn’t for Archie’s ability and talent to bring in the crowds, Kevin would have eliminated him from the show completely just to spare her - and in turn himself - from the heartache and drama. But he was talented and handsome and that combination brought in the young girls and their mothers which just so happened to be their main audience in town.

“O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?” she pronounced dramatically, her hands making flourishes as she collapsed back onto the couch, with a giggle. Kevin couldn’t help but smile back at her. She was sunshine. Bright green eyes and blonde hair, with a laugh that made the birds envious and a heart that was genuine and kind. All he wanted to do was find her a nice man, a good man. All he wanted was for her to be happy and content. That plan did not and could not involve Archie Andrews.

“I don’t think so, Juliet. I can only imagine the torment that you would inflict upon me if I gave the role of Juliet to anyone else.”

“Yeah. Probably for the best,” she confirmed with a snicker.

“Something a little light though. I think a comedy.” He noticed her eyes light up at this. “Something with clever dialogue and witty banter, deception and disguise. Mistaken identities and twists and turns. Something fun.”

“Well, now I am intrigued, are you going tell me?” she asked, sidling closer to him on the couch, her bottom lip pouting in that way that girls do subconsciously when they want something from the opposite sex. It was something that never worked on Kevin.

“And take away the surprise? I think not,” he replied, and Betty slumped back on the couch, defeated.

“You do have a flair for the dramatic, Kev,” she sighed but with a smile.

“I think that’s why they made me the director,” He chuckled at her eye roll and helped her up from the couch.

***

Betty had arrived to the theatre for their meeting early to help Kevin with set up. She was busying herself with setting out the teas and coffees when she saw him enter the room. It was cliché she knew, but she could swear her heart skipped a beat when she saw Archie Andrews walk through the door. She had worshipped him since high school. Back when she had been the nerdy girl with the glasses with the gay best friend. He hadn’t even given her a second glance back then. When she had first seen him turn up for auditions, a year after graduation, she knew that this was her second chance.

Betty had grown up in that year apart. Her confidence in herself had become secure, a year in New York had enabled that. After a year of studying at Columbia, she had returned home for the summer to take part in one last performance, imagining that once her education was finished and her career took off that she wouldn’t have time to indulge in this guilty pleasure. Little did she know how soon she would be returning to this town to never leave again.

She broke herself out of her reminiscent thoughts before they took her further down a path that she couldn’t deal with right now, and focused instead on the red-headed man who had entered the small community theatre. She swore each year he was more handsome than the year before, and a familiar heat rose to her cheeks.

“Archie, hey,” she called out with what she hoped was a nonchalant smile. Her fingers brushed down her skirt as she tried to make her nerves still. She jogged over to him as he continued his path to the stage.

“Oh hey, Betty.” He slowed down a little for her to catch up.

“So, what have you been up to?” she asked, trying to simultaneously catch her breath and sound as casual as she could. She was twisting a strand of hair from her pony tail in between her fingers, a nervous habit that she could only hope played off as flirtatious.

“Well, working on my music mostly. Helping Dad out at the construction site. Had some gigs in New York too,” he offered, and Betty nodded eagerly.

“Wow! So this music thing is really taking off then?” she exclaimed. Of course, Betty knew full well that it was. She was a regular Facebook stalker and Archie literally had nothing private.

“Yeah, well it was just a few gigs, nothing big.” He shrugged.

“Still you’re out there making an impact.” She assured him.

“You still at Riverdale High?” She knew he was going to ask, but was happy that he had at least remembered where she worked.

“Yeah, I mean I have some extra responsibilities, team leader for the English department.” She said proudly, even though she was very aware of how her achievements stacked up to his. She wasn’t exploring New York, following her dreams like he was. She had followed her dreams once and it hadn’t quite worked out, but she was happy with her teaching position, she enjoyed imparting knowledge and being able to open the world of literature to her students made her happy.

“Do you have any idea what Kevin is cooking up for us?” Archie gave her that charming smile and she felt the ground fall from beneath her feet yet again.

“Only that it is a Shakespearean comedy. He wouldn’t divulge anything further,” she sighed and unconsciously tucked a loose bit of hair behind her ear.

“Well, you got more out of him than me.” He smiled again at her and she took a deep breath. This was it, she was going to do it, before she lost her nerve again.

“Anyway, Arch I was thinking…” she started but was curtailed by the ruckus of the other theatre members on the other side of the stage.

“Okay, guys, gather round. I think all the RSVPs are here. Reggie, you can have more of the snacks in a minute,” Kevin shouted over to the snacks table where Reggie was currently shovelling food into his mouth.

He grabbed a few more items in a napkin before walking over to the centre of the stage to stand next to Betty. Characteristically, Reggie Mantle’s eyes lingered a little too long, drifting momentarily over her body, causing her to cross her arms over her chest subconsciously and glower at him. She watched Archie, who was now standing next to one of his old football buddies, Moose Mason. Kevin had dated Moose briefly during the production last year but it had ended on closing night much to Kevin’s dismay. He and Betty had sat on the couch both eating triple fudge sundaes from Pop’s that night, commiserating in each other’s heartbreak.

“Techies, you too this way, don’t slink off into the background. I can see you.” The tech crew looked at each other nervously before making their way over to where the actors had already gathered. “And welcome back, Jughead. Glad you decided to join in again this year.” Betty looked towards the sullen figure that she had been trying to avoid eye contact with since he had arrived. Trademark beanie secured on his head, a passive look to his face as he, reluctantly moved from his position against the wall to stand with his fellow tech members.

“You may have heard some rumblings that we will be turning our hand to something a little more theatrical and classic this year.” Kevin threw a pointed look at Betty who he was sure had already divulged information from their chat that afternoon to the majority of the company by now. She shrugged her shoulders at him, blinking her big doe eyes and feigning innocence. “This will be the first year we attempt something from the great Bard himself, but I have faith that you will all be able to handle it with the same poise and dedication with which you have handled every other production.”

“Well don’t keep us waiting, Kevin, which play are we doing?” Cheryl Blossom piped up, her patience wearing thin already with Kevin’s monologue.

“Thank you, Cheryl. I was getting there.” He mumbled under his breath. “This year Riverdale’s Community Theatre Company will be staging a production of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

Betty let out a squeal and immediately clapped her hand over her mouth, attempting to muffle the sound. The other members looked at her with wide eyes following the outburst. Blushing and somewhat more subdued, she shuffled her feet in excitement instead. It was perfect! Kevin gave her a knowing nod, before he continued to outline the play and the schedule for the next few weeks. Everyone nodding attentively.

While the rest of the company followed along with Kevin, Jughead Jones continued to stare at her after her outburst and she mouthed an irritated ‘What?’ at him. When he shook his head at her, his expression something she couldn’t quite read. She stuck out her tongue at him, childish as it was. He rolled his eyes at her, looking away and continued to chat with Dilton Doiley, sharing a private joke, chuckling between themselves.

When Kevin had finished and the company had been dismissed she made her way over to her friend and director.

“A Midsummer Night’s Dream! Kevin it is perfect.” She gave another delighted squeal as she hugged him tightly. “You know that is one of my favourites.” She smiled brightly up at him and once she released him from her hold he was able to resume breathing.

“So, can I presume that you plan on auditioning?” he questioned already knowing her answer.

“Do you even have to ask?” Her eyes scanned the room looking for Archie only to find he must have already left with the rest of the old football team, probably to catch up, probably to pick up girls that nagging little voice in her head told her. She couldn’t hide the disappointment on her face.

“Come on, Blondie. Sundaes at Pop’s to celebrate. My treat.” Kevin put an arm around her shoulder and she leaned against him as the two friends left the theatre together.

Chapter 2