#autism self diagnosis positivity

[potions-and-kindness]

if you are scared you’re faking it, then you probably aren’t faking it

[sproutzai]

the disorder faking in this generation is genuinely wild. like.

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

I’ll never forget my counselor’s face when I said I used to secretly be really into aliens because I was worried that I was one. I thought I must not be from earth. But I must have known how weird that was because I never wanted anyone to find out. I would pull up the wikipedia page for dogs or trees or something, just to have a decoy tab to click to really fast so I wouldn’t risk anyone noticing what I was actually reading about or asking me why.

Anyway I’ve never attempted clinical diagnosis but if a professional ever tries to tell me I’m allistic I will laugh at them so hard and mock their career choice.

Go ahead tell me I don’t seem autistic I dare you

[andthebeanstalk]

Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.

And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.

I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.

But do you know what I found?

I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,

I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.

Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:

I was worth talking to when I was quiet.

I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.

So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.

You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.

(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)

[rensdifference]

i don’t feel like i have special interests… i definitely get obsessed with things but i get over it after a month or less.. does that still count??

another thing that i’ve always been aware of is that i purposely don’t allow myself to interact with something because i know i’ll ‘become obsessed with it’, so i purposely don’t watch a specific show, don’t play a game, talk to people who like said things, etc. which could be a reason why i don’t have any spins, because i literally don’t let myself develop any

but i just feel so invalidated… i also have adhd so could that be impacting it… any advice/kind words??

[raindropsandstardust-blog]

I’m currently at a place for my autism testing or whatever it’s called-

The lady was really nice tho :)

The people asked me for my pronouns which made me really happy! And I started stimming and then stoped and she was like “oh you don’t have to mask” apodkskxnskso

It was nice to be listened to for once

[helenwhiteart-blog]

The pitfalls of identification with a label and the power of positivity

Labels can be useful for identifying, explaining, pooling information, finding things out...but they also come with risks. Exploring how to use them (with caution) and also the power of positivity as a transformational tool for breaking out of any boxes.

I wrote, just yesterday, about the importance of using the most appropriate label for a condition and I really meant what I said about how it can make a big difference. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) feels like an extremely tired (excuse the pun) label for what I prefer to now think of as Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME) because “tiredness” doesn’t even begin to cover what the condition entails so…

[cripplecharacters]

Writing Intellectually Disabled Characters

[large text: writing intellectually disabled characters]

Something that very rarely comes up in disability media representation are intellectually disabled characters. There is very little positive representation in media in general (and basically none in media meant specifically for adults or in YA). I hope this post can maybe help someone interested in writing disabled characters understand the topic better and create something nice. This is just a collection of thoughts of only one person with mild ID (me) and I don't claim to speak for the whole community as its just my view. This post is meant to explain how some parts of ID work and make people aware of what ID is.

This post is absolutely not meant for self diagnosis (I promise you would realize before seeing a Tumblr post about it. it's a major disorder that gets most people thrown into special education).

Before: What is (and isn't) intellectual disability?

ID is a single, life-long neurodevelopment condition that affects IQ and causes problems with reasoning, problem‑solving, remembering and planning things, abstract thinking and learning. There is often delay or absence of development milestones like walking (and other kinds of movement), language and self care skills (eating, going to the bathroom, washing, getting dressed etc). Different people will struggle with different things to different degrees. I am, for example, still fully unable to do certain movements and had a lot of delay in self-care, but I had significantly less language-related delay than most of people with ID I know. Usually the more severe a person's ID is the more delay they will have.

Intellectual disability is one single condition and it doesn't make sense to call it "intellectual disabilities" (plural) or "an intellectual disability". It would be like saying "they have a Down Syndrome" or "he has autisms". The correct way would be "she has intellectual disability" or "ze is intellectually disabled".

Around 1-3% of people in the world have intellectual disability and most have mild ID (as opposed to moderate, severe, or profound). It can exist on its own without any identifiable condition or it can be a part of syndrome. There is over a thousand (ranging from very common to extremely rare) conditions that can cause ID but some of the most common are;

Down Syndrome,

Fragile X Syndrome,

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome,

Autism,

Edwards Syndrome,

DiGeorge Syndrome,

Microcephaly.

Not every condition always causes ID and you can have one of the above conditions without having ID as long as it's not necessary diagnostic criteria to be met. For example around 30% of autistic people have ID, meaning that the rest 70% doesn't. It just means that it's comorbid often enough to be counted as a major cause but still, autistic ≠ intellectually disabled most of the time.

A lot of things that cause intellectual disability also come with facial differences, epilepsy, mobility-related disabilities, sensory disabilities, and limb differences. A lot, but not all, intellectually disabled people go to special education schools.

Intellectual disability isn't the same as brain damage. Brain damage can occur at any point of a person's life while ID always starts in or before childhood.

"Can My Character Be [Blank]?"

[large text: "Can my character be [blank]?"]

The difficulty with writing characters with intellectual disability is that unlike some other things you can give your character, ID will very directly impacts how your character thinks and behaves - you can't make the whole character and then just slap the ID label on them.

Intellectually disabled people are extremely diverse in terms of personality, ability, verbality, mobility... And you need to consider those things early because deciding that your character is nonverbal and unable to use AAC might be an issue if you're already in the middle of writing a dialogue scene.

For broader context, a person with ID might be fully verbal - though they would still probably struggle with grammar, what some words mean, or with general understanding of spoken/written language to some degree. Or they could also be non-verbal. While some non-verbal ID people use AAC, it's not something that works for everyone and some people rely on completely language-less communication only. There is also the middle ground of people who are able to speak, but only in short sentences, or in a way that's not fully understandable to people who don't know them. Some might speak in second or third person.

Depending on the severity of your character's disability they will need help with different tasks. For example, I'm mildly affected and only need help with "complex" tasks like shopping or taxes or appointments, but someone who is profoundly affected will probably need 24/7 care. It's not infantilization to have your character receive the help that they need. Disabled people who get help with bathing or eating aren't "being treated like children", they just have higher support needs than me or you. In the same vein, your character isn't "mentally two years old" or "essentially a toddler", they are a twenty-, or sixteen-, or fourty five-year old who has intellectual disability. Mental age isn't real. Intellectually disabled people can drink, have sex, smoke, swear, and a bunch of other things. A thirty year old disabled person is an adult, not a child!

An important thing is that a person with ID has generally bad understanding of cause-and-effect and might not make connections between things that people without ID just instinctively understand. For example, someone could see that their coat is in a different place than they left it, but wouldn't be able to deduce that then it means that someone else moved it or it wouldn’t even occur to them as a thing that was caused by something. I think every (or at least most) ID person struggles with this to some extent. The more severe someone's disability is the less they will be able to connect usually (for example someone with profound ID might not be able to understand the connection between the light switch and the light turning off and on).

People with mild intellectual disability have the least severe problems in functioning and some are able to live independently, have a job, have kids, stuff like that.

What Tropes Should You Avoid?

[large text: what tropes should you avoid?]

The comic relief/punching bag;

The predator/stalker;

The "you could change this character into a sick dog and there wouldn't be much difference";

...and a lot more but these are the most prevalent in my experience.

Most ID characters are either grossly villainized (more often if they have also physical disabilities or facial differences) or extremely dehumanized or ridiculed, or all of the above. It's rarely actually *mentioned* for a character to be intellectually disabled, but negative "representation" usually is very clear that this who they're attempting to portray. The portrayal of a whole group of people as primarily either violent predators, pitiful tragedies or nothing more than a joke is damaging and you probably shouldn't do that. It's been done too many times already.

When those tropes aren't used the ID character is still usually at the very most a side character to the main (usually abled) character. They don't have hobbies, favorite foods, movies or music they like, love interests, friends or pets of their own and are very lucky if the author bothered to give them a last name. Of course it's not a requirement to have all of these but when there is *no* characterization in majority of disabled characters, it shows. They also usually die in some tragic way, often sacrificing themselves for the main character or just disappear in some off-the-screen circumstances. Either way, they aren't really characters, they're more like cardboard cutouts of what a character should be - the audience has no way to care for them because the author has put no care into making the character interesting or likable at all. Usually their whole and only personality and character trait is that they have intellectual disability and it's often based on what the author thinks ID is without actually doing any research.

What Terms to Use and Not Use

[large text: What Terms to Use and Not Use]

Words like: "intellectually disabled" or "with/have intellectual disability" are terms used by people with ID and generally OK to use from how much I know. I believe more people use the latter (person first language) for themselves but i know people who use both. I use the first more often but I don't mind the second. Some people have strong preference with one over the other and that needs to be respected.

Terms like:

"cursed with intellectual disability"

"mentally [R-slur]"

"moron"

"idiot"

"feeble-minded"

"imbecile"

is considered at least derogatory by most people and I don't recommend using it in your writing. The last 5 terms directly come from outdated medical terminology specifically regarding ID and aren't just "rude", they're ableist and historically connected to eugenics in the most direct way they could be. To me personally they're highly offensive and I wouldn't want to read something that referred to its character with ID with those terms.

(Note: there are, in real life, people with ID that refer to themselves with the above... but this is still just a writing guide. Unless you belong to the group i just mentioned I would advise against writing that, especially if this post is your entire research so far.)

Things I Want to See More of in Characters with Intellectual Disability

[large text: Things I Want to See More of in Characters with Intellectual Disability]

[format borrowed from WWC]

I want to see more characters with intellectual disability that...

aren’t only white boys.

are LGBT+.

are adults.

are allowed to be angry without being demonized, and sad without being infantilized.

are not described as "mentally X years old".

are respected by others.

aren't "secretly smart" or “emotionally smart”.

are able to live independently with some help.

aren't able to live independently at all and aren't mocked for that.

are in romantic relationships or have crushes (interabled... or not!).

are non-verbal or semi-verbal.

use mobility aids and/or AAC.

have hobbies they enjoy.

have caregivers.

have disabilities related to their ID.

have disabilities completely unrelated to their ID.

have friends and family who like and support them.

go on cool adventures.

are in different genres: fantasy, romComs, action, slice of life... all of them.

have their own storylines.

aren't treated as disposable.

don't die or disappear at the first possible opportunity.

...and I want to see stories that have multiple intellectually disabled characters.

I hope that this list will give someone inspiration to go and make their first OC with intellectual disability ! This is just a basic overview to motivate writers to do their own research rather than a “all-knowing post explaining everything regarding ID”. I definitely don't know everything especially about the parts of ID that I just don't experience (or not as much as others). This is only meant to be an introduction for people who don't really know what ID is or where to even start.

Talk to people with intellectual disability (you can send ask here but there are also a lot of other people on Tumblr who have ID and I know at least some have previously answered asks as well if you want someone else's opinion!), watch/read interviews with people who have ID (to start - link1, link2, both have captions) and try to rethink what you think about intellectual disability. Because it's really not that rare like a lot of people seem to think. Please listen to us when we speak.

Good luck writing and thank you for reading :-) (smile emoji)

mod Sasza

[itsaspectrumcomic]

Hi! I'm autistic (self-diagnosed) I can't really get an official diagnosis, I feel broken, defective and lonely and because of the self-diagnosis I sometimes feel like a fraud. I feel I don't fit in anywhere, not even with autistic people. I was in an online group with autistic people and even there I felt alienated and ignored. I just write this to let off steam, I don't know if I'll ever find friends who accept me for who I am, apart from that I'm not good at interacting with new people. Since I have memory I've felt like an alien.

I understand, I've often felt the same, both pre and post diagnosis. Being autistic (including self diagnosed which is 100% valid!) can be really hard, especially with social stuff - it's part of the criteria after all.

It's a common idea that autistic people will get on with other autistic people, but that's not always the case; every autistic person is different, just like every allistic person is different. We all have different personalities, likes and dislikes, so two people aren't necessarily going to be friends just because they're both autistic. And that's OK.

At the same time, there are so many people in the world, you are guaranteed to have things in common with some of them, and you will find people who care about you and accept you. They may be in your life already and you just haven't discovered it yet.

You might find it helpful to read Unmasking Autism by Dr Devon Price, particularly Chapter Seven: Cultivating Autistic Relationships. He talks about the idea of finding your 'strawberry' people - people who have been kind and loving towards you - and putting energy into those relationships, while putting less energy into less positive relationships.

I know it's hard, and it can take a lot of effort, but please keep trying! There are a lot of kind and accepting people out there and I promise you will find them ❤️

[drdemonprince]

Re: telling primary care docs about autism

All the stuff Devon said is good advice! I'm an autistic med student and I wouldn’t trust 98% of my classmates/instructors with that info if I were their patient. For anyone considering this, try to pin down what you hope to get out of it. Do you want some form of accommodation during appointments? Unless you have an amazing doctor with the traits Devon described, sadly I wouldn’t get your hopes up.

Are you pursuing accommodations at school/work? If another professional has diagnosed you or suspects you’re autistic, it’d likely be easier and less risky to start the process through them instead. If you’re self-identified/self-diagnosed, be aware that many doctors will dismiss the possibility of you being autistic by virtue of you bringing it up. Do you simply feel obligated to tell your doctor the truth? Fuck that. If telling the truth negatively impacts your health, you are fully justified in lying/omitting that info. There are risks to leaving info out of your records too (and it’s unfair that we’re put in this position), but with autism specifically that risk is virtually nothing, especially compared to the dangers posed by doctors’ ableism.

Another thing to consider is that your medical records don’t necessarily stay in the hands of your PCP. If you’re referred to a doctor in the same hospital system or wind up in that hospital’s ER, your diagnosis can be seen when they pull up your records. You may need to transfer records from one hospital/practice to another, or you could wind up in a legal situation where your records are subpoenaed. No matter how trustworthy your PCP is, once that diagnosis is written down, there’s a possibility it’ll reach someone who’ll use it against you.

Brillliantly said, thank you for spelling it all out and god fucking speed in medical school. We thank you for your service!

[self-dx-culture-is]

Welcome Post

This blog is inclusive of everyone who has a self-dx! All submissions should start with "Self dx/diagnosed culture is" (or a more specific version, such as "self dx autistic culture is").

I will ignore any posts asking me to diagnose them (as I'm not qualified), and I request that no one ask for help in self-diagnosis either. If I can find reliable resources, I will link them below, under the cut.

Feel free to vent, but let me now so I can tag it appropriately. If you would like, you may also request that reblogs and/or comments be turned off for that post.

Anons are welcome!

Claimed Anons may be found here(link)!

My Extensive DNI (/sarc)

NSFW content and blog followers (this makes us very uncomfortable)

If you come here just to spread hate or fakeclaiming, including anyone who uses "narc/histrionic/antisocial/borderline abuse" or uses "[all Cluster B terms]", "delusional", "insane", etc. as insults or otherwise misuses them.

Anyone who encourages harm relating to any disorder (e.g. pro ana, pro contact)

Transid (Transabled, transage, transrace, etc.). People with BIID are not included in this and are welcomed to interact.

(More may be added if incidents arise.)

About the Blog Owner:

We are an endogenic system and may be collectively called (the) Werewolf Pack. Our collective pronouns are She/They.

We have professionally diagnosed Amblyopia, Sensory Processing Disorder, Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, and Avoidant Personality Disorder. We have self-diagnosed Synesthesia and Visual Snow Syndrome, and are questioning Schizotypal Personality Disorder, Schizoid Personality Disorder, Autism, and ADHD.

Base Account: @kpopwerewolf(link)

Tagging System:

All posts will either be tagged as either "self dx culture is" or "not culture is"

All triggers are tagged as: "tw [trigger]"

Vents are tagged as both: "tw vent" & "vent"

Positivity posts are tagged as: "positivity"

Negative posts are tagged as both: "negative" & "negativity"

Discourse/Syscourse will be tagged as: "tw discourse / "tw syscourse"

Tagging for promo: @paranoia-culture-is, @abnormalcultureis, @ndcultureis, @adhd-culture-is, @adhd-culture--is, @autism-culture-is. @autistic-culture-is, @depression-culture-is, @disabled-culture-is, @dyslexia-culture-is, @dyscalculia-culture-is, @no-empathy-culture-is, @ocd-culture-is, @posic-culture, @tourettes-culture-is, @schizospec-culture-is, @schizotypalpd-culture-is, @schizoid-culture-is, @schizopositivity, @synesthete-culture-is, @cluster-a-pds, @cluster-c-pds-culture-is, @cluster-b-culture-is, @ppd-culture-is, @aspd-culture, @bpd-culture-is, @hpdcultureis, @narcissisticpdcultureis, @avpdcultureis, @dpdcultureis

(If you want your link removed let me know!)

Resources:

DSM-5.pdf - Google Drive(link)

(Plurality:)

https://morethanone.info/(link)

What Is Plurality? – Plurality Resource(link)

powertotheplurals.com | Resource & articles for everymany - Dissociative identity disorder and other forms of plurality.(link)

More will be added as found! Feel free to suggest resources you've found helpful yourself!

[borderline-culture-is]

Blog introduction post

Who is this blog for?

This blog is for anyone with BPD and/or BPD traits. Other cluster B disorder havers and those without who want to learn are also welcome, although submissions are preferred to be BPD focused.

Why this blog?

I'm not sure what happened to the other BPD culture is blog, but it was either nerfed or deleted, and I haven't seen any sign of return or a new blog, so I decided to make one. If the original account owner didn't want a creation of another one, please tell me!!!

DNI/BYF [do not interact] [before you follow]

Ableists

Proshippers

TERFs/radfems

Anti-recovery peeps

General DNI criteria

Cluster b abuse believers

We accept self-diagnosis.

You can vent, but we may not always know how to respond. We are a person, too.

We will also try to tag triggers accordingly.

Sending asks

Start every ask with "BPD culture is," "BPD traits culture is," "questioning/suspected BPD culture is," or something along those lines.

Extra info under cut

About the mod 🌕🥃

Hello, we're the moonshine collective. Bodily 16 y/o, collectively he/they, traumgenic system. We have BPD and NPD, among other things. Our main blog is @deepmilkshakepeach. If you want to visit it, it also has a masterlist of alters and their sign-offs and blogs.

info posts

sign-offs

FP definition

Splitting definition

BPD and BP

BPD and autism

BPD and C-PTSD

our experience determining BPD self dx

supporting a pwBPD

Misc posts :]!

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST

Tags

#bpd culture is - asks and submission posts

#bpd questions - questions about BPD

#bpd information

#bpd positivity

#not bpd culture

Blog boosts

@narcissisticpdcultureis @hpdcultureis @pluralcultureis @aspd-bpd-culture @ppd-culture-is @cluster-b-culture-is

[andthebeanstalk]

Dear fellow autistics and people who suspect they might be autistic:

I am mailing you each a metaphorical scented envelope containing a soft sweet kiss on the forehead, which you may open or not open as many times as you see fit.

My friend Evy framed theirs instead of opening it, which is good too.

And you can throw it away, but if you ever do want to find it again, you will be able to recover it. I won't know or mind either way.

Just know I've sent you something nice because I wanted you to have it.

Love,

Jack

[bluedalahorse]

A highly incomplete introduction to AuDHD for YR fans who want to write more Sara Eriksson

Greetings, friends! In my time in the Young Royals fandom, I’ve seen a few people mention they were interested writing Sara but they didn’t know how to approach her neurodivergence, or that they find it intimidating. I figured it might be worth compiling a post where I share both ADHD and autism resources I’ve found helpful, as well as elements of my personal experience I draw on when writing Sara.

This post is by no means exhaustive, and I could probably say a lot more. But I figured I’d get it out there in case it was helpful to anyone else.

Part One: Resources and Such

Yo Samdy Sam is an AuDHD vlogger who talks about her experiences, and I find her video about how autism and ADHD show up together pretty informative. Since Sara is both it’s good to have a grasp on these nuances! Yo Samdy Sam’s other videos are also ones I’d recommend.

I’m autistic, now what? is also a good channel to check out for someone talking about their day to day experiences of autism. Her videos are a little longer, but she focuses often on how things have changed from her childhood to her adulthood, which can be helpful if you’re thinking about Sara at different ages/writing flashbacks/working on fic set in the future/etc.

Chloe Hayden, who stars in another teen drama called Heartbreak High, is both autistic and ADHD, and very fun and positive. She presents quite differently than Sara does—lots more talking and energy—but I think she’s a good example of every neurodivergent person presenting differently. Also, people should watch Heartbreak High and write me some fic where Sara and Quinni meet because I want it.

How to ADHD is mostly geared toward practical life skills when you’ve got ADHD, but it doesn’t neglect the way those interact with emotional well-being. Sara might try some of these strategies while working on her school work and chores, either because an adult recommended she do so or because it’s part of a system she worked out for herself. Also, the videos are perfectly designed for ADHD brains, and i have acquired many ways to self-accommodate by watching them.

Jessie Gender is autistic and does commentary about lots of nerdy things and trans rights. I really liked her video on The Queen’s Gambit where she talks about autistic girls and sex. If you’re planning to write spicer fic about Sara (which people should write more of imo) then Jessie might be a good resource!

Marieke Nijkamp is a multiply disabled author, and one of her disabilities is autism. I still have to get around to reading her novel length books but her short story “Better For All the World” made me cry and is one of my formative sargust mentor texts. I really recommend it if you can get a hold of the anthology The Radical Element. (Although, heads up, the story deals with the Buck v Bell case of 1927, which is difficult subject matter.)

Disability in Kidlit has some great resources on writing autistic characters from a craft perspective. If you’re going to write specifically from Sara’s point of view, or even if you’re not, it’s worth reading this article about the autistic voice in fiction and this article about humanizing autistic characters. Other articles on the site are also great!

I’m going to talk more about my personal experiences under the cut below…

Part 2: My personal experiences & takeaways

Sooooo if you’ve met one AuDHD person, you’ve met one AuDHD person. I can’t really claim to speak for all AuDHD people, and I’ve only recently gotten my diagnosis anyway. That said, a lot of my own personal experience colors how I write Sara. So in the interest of transparency, I’ve gone ahead and listed some of the things I’ve thought about when I write her.

An important note before I get started—this is not, actually, meta or analysis of the show. I’m not trying to tell you want I “really” think is going on with Sara Eriksson, or what the writers intended, or what the show is saying. You may read her differently, and I’m sure your interpretation is just as informed by your own experiences as mine. So please don’t take this as a criticism if your interpretation is different.

What I am explaining here instead are the ways that my personal experiences as an AuDHD person have influenced my perception of Sara, which in turn translates to how I’ve made sense of her storyline and written her in fanfic. None of these are “excuses,” but they are explorations. You can look at it as me examining my own thinking and writing process. I’m also opening up about some of my experiences and being a little bit vulnerable. If you have questions about any of these things below, or you want to know more for your own fic, you are always welcome to message me. I may not be able to get back to you right away but I can help however I am able. There are also some things I might feel more comfortable discussing in depth one-on-one, so direct messages might be better in that case, too.

Anyway, let’s begin…

Polarized strengths and weaknesses: In my own experience as an AuDHD person there are some pretty dramatic contrasts between what I’m good at and what I suck at. I’m in the 99% percentile in some skills and the 2% percentile in others. This adds up to stuff like, I read the Sherlock Holmes stories for the first time when I was eight and Les Misérables when I was eleven, but I cannot drive a car or learn a choreographed dance no matter how hard I try. This is inexplicable to some people because they’re like, omg but you know all these advanced words! Surely if you can’t drive a car, it’s just because you aren’t trying hard enough! Likewise I think it makes sense to write Sara with a spiky profile of her own, and have characters react to that accordingly.

Perceptions of maturity: AuDHD adults aren’t children. AuDHD teenagers aren’t children either. And yet part of ableism is the infantilization of AuDHD people. I don’t have a lot of huge narrative squicks, but this is one of them, and it’s rooted in frustrations I’ve had over people treating me like I’m still a child. I always write Sara as the age she’s intended to be in the fic. If I see fanfic scenes or headcanon scenarios where someone is treating Sara like she’s five, and that’s spun as positive or never questioned, it can make me really upset and it’s an immediate back button. This is something I would recommend writers be on the lookout for if they’re incorporating Sara into a scene. Maybe this one bullet point is spinning a little far into criticism of other folks, but I think if I could communicate one thing to other people writing Sara, this would be it.

Special interests/hyperfixations: The thing about special interests is that autistic people often turn to them to replenish their energy and get their nervous systems back to a state of equilibrium. (For instance, me writing this post right now about my blorbo Sara Eriksson is me engaging with a special interest to put my nervous system in a state of equilibrium and put energy back in my body.) Sara’s time spent with Rousseau isn’t just wonderful because she loves horses, it’s also something that’s probably helping her recharge after a complicated day of navigating social situations at Hillerska. This is why she panics at the thought of losing Rousseau. Now, there’s still issues here in that Rousseau isn’t actually Sara’s horse. And I do think many teenage and adult autistics with low support needs, like Sara, understand that they can’t engage with their special interests all the time. But in order to write and understand Sara, I have to understand that she’s counting on Rousseau and horses more generally as something that helps her self-regulate and stay grounded. (In Heart and Homeland I also added art as one of her hyperfixations, so she often draws to recharge and make sense of things.)

Alexithymia: Alexithymia is essentially a trait people can have where they struggle to read their own emotions. It’s pretty common in autistic people and other neurodivergent folk; I have a mild version of it. For me, tuning into my emotions is a bit like trying to figure out what song is playing on a staticy radio. I might have to wait and “mess with the dial” a bit before I can fully understand what I’m feeling in a given situation. The question “how are you?” is a bit of a nightmare for me sometimes. Because my alexithymia is mild, I usually can figure out what I’m feeling in time, but I still often need extra effort to discern the nuances. I tend to apply this trait to Sara when I write her, mostly because she seems to need to sit with her feelings to understand how they’re affecting her. This is most evident when she’s trying to figure out if she like-likes August, though it comes out in other ways, too. Sara might just need a lot of time to process her emotions. Even when she’s showing her emotions and in them, they might take a lot of time to leave her system, and she might not catch on to how they’re affecting her right away. In Heart and Homeland, part of the reason Sara keeps a diary in the first place is so she can sort through what she’s feeling.

Heightened empathy: There’s an old stereotype that autistic people don’t have any empathy. This is not true, and some autistics even have an excess of empathy. I would argue that Sara (at least the way I interpret and write her) is one of them. This may seem counterintutive to some, as I have seen people argue that she is insufficiently empathetic to Simon and/or Linda. I see it differently, however. In my own experience, having an excess of empathy doesn’t always mean that I come across as loving and sweet to the people in my life. Sometimes it can make it so you’re so full of feelings toward others that you can’t act. I often function clumsily in conflicts, and feel like I’m caught between different parties, especially if it’s a situation where everyone appears to be hurting. It’s enough to make me shut down and not do anything, or even side with the person who to everyone else is obviously wrong. Especially when I was a teenager, the answer about “who to side with” in a conflict wasn’t always clear to me. For instance, in college, I dated a girl who constantly belittled me and many of my friends, and I let her get away with it because I was sensitive to the ways she was genuinely hurting about life. I am not proud of it now, and I did break up with her eventually and made efforts to patch things up with my friends when I could, but it also took me two and a half years to get there. Thanks to life experience and therapy, I am now better at recognizing red flags and overriding my excess empathy to call people out on their shit when they need it. It took me time, though, and I can’t help reading a lot of that into Sara. In a way, I tend to think her hope that August will own up to his actions is born out of heightened empathy for both August and Simon. She pins her hopes on this solution because, in her mind, it meets Simon’s needs because the person who harmed him has come forward and is willing to be held accountable for his actions and it meets August’s needs because he can find relief in owning up to his shit and stop drowning in regret. Now, yes, Sara is absolutely misleading herself and ignoring crucial details of the situation because she’s in love, and she does misread what Simon actually needs in the situation. This is very typically teenage. At the same time, when I write her in fic, I see this as tied to an excess of empathy, and not a lack of it.

Inertia/Executive Functioning Struggles: Building on what was said above… some AuDHD people (like myself) can really struggle with making a plan and getting started on tasks, and the bigger the task, the bigger the struggle. “Tasks” is a word we usually apply to things like doing laundry, so we tend to think of executive functioning as an unemotional thing, but it can also apply to emotional stuff like, say, having a big conversation that needs to be had or breaking up with someone you know you need to. (Like I said above. Two and a half years with that shitty person in college!) In fact, I would say inertia can even make things harder with social/emotional stuff, because math homework is at least consistently math homework, but social/emotional situations can shift and become more complicated over time. At Hillerska, we see Sara get involved in ever-shifting social politics, and it takes things escalating to the field scene for her to take action at the end of S2. (In a more minor example, Sara taking a while to get ready in the parents’ weekend episode, and Linda rushing her out the door, is a great example of Sara being affected by inertia.)

Menstrual ick: Increasing numbers of studies show that people with uteruses who have ADHD, autism, or both are way more likely to have painful periods and PMDD. This is true for me—one of the biggest signs that my period is coming is that I am absolutely convinced everyone hates me. I don’t know how to apply this to Sara directly, but periods are part of life and if you happen to write about her dealing with menstrual nonsense, this might be something to keep in mind.

Sensory issues: A lot of people are aware of sensory issues for neurodivergents, and every neurodivergent experiences sensory issues differently, and not always in ways that are immediately apparent to neurotypicals. For me, I hate vacuums and car horns and bananas, but for my roommate, she hates any lights on after 7 PM and finds chocolate overwhelming. Sara doesn’t mention any particular sensory issues, but presumably she has some and masks her reactions, so uh… make up the ones that make sense to you, I guess. Or, don’t make them up, but maybe read about a bunch of different people’s experiences of sensory issues and work from there. External stuff like being tired, sick, or being on one’s period can heighten sensory issues, so think about vulnerability factors that might increase them for Sara.

Rejection sensitivity: Many people with ADHD feel rejection or criticism from others with a high level of intensity, even as physical pain. (Fun fact: PMS makes my rejection sensitivity even worse!) I don’t know if we see Sara feeling rejection sensitivity onscreen much in YR, but I can’t help but imagine she’s dealt with it in the past, based on the way she says she sometimes feels like the worst person in the world, when she’s talking to August in 2.3. If Sara’s had therapy (which I assume she’s had in some form because she knows breathing exercises) then maybe this is something she’s worked on coping strategies.

Accommodations in school: I don’t actually know how this works in Sweden specifically or at a school like Hillerska, but I’d love to hear how it works! Someone else should weigh in if they know things. But I would not be surprised if Sara has the legal right to certain accommodations in school such as extended time on tests, guided notes, etc. (Not being Swedish myself, I’m not sure what the equivalent to the Americans With Disabilities Act would be in Sweden.) One thing to note here is that Sara would get to decide herself whether she actually uses her accommodations or not. I would say, based on my observations of teenagers, is that some neurodivergent teenagers tend not to use their accommodations so they can avoid sticking out among their peers. This seems like it might be the case for Sara, since she wants to make friends at Hillerska and not stand out. The other thing she might encounter at Hillerska specifically is teachers who don’t want to meet those accommodations because they’re “old school” and, frankly, ableist. Accommodations are something one should take into account when writing Sara’s academic life, though.

Double empathy problem: This is something that the psych community is talking about more lately, and essentially the idea here is that neurotypicals communicate best with other neurotypicals whereas neurodivergents communicate best with other neurodivergents. That doesn’t mean both groups can’t communicate with one another (and even reducing it to two groups is kind of oversimplifying things, because obviously culture and other things impact communication too) but there are different patterns of communication at work here. In my own life, I vibe well with people whose neurotypes are similar to mine—this is exactly why @coruscantrhapsody and I are such iconic roommates. The Double Empathy Problen is theorized to have played a role in stereotypes about autistic people not having any empathy. (PS: I don’t actually think August has undiagnosed ADHD in canon, at least not according to the writers. Still, I think it would be pretty interesting to write him in fanfiction as someone who has a missed childhood diagnosis given the way he struggles with rejection sensitivity, impulsivity, and emotion regulation, and the way that the adderall addiction could be a form of self-medication that has gone awry. For that reason I think it’d be interesting to see a fic where the sargust relationship is viewed through the lens of the double empathy problem. Obviously not in a way where the ADHD excuses August’s harmful behaviors, but you know. An added layer of delicious nuance. Alternately, I know some folks like to headcanon Wille as autistic. Sara really clicking with autistic!Wille when they finally get a chance to talk is something I’d like to see!)

Neurodivergent community: As far as I can tell, Sara doesn’t really have neurodivergent community. This makes me sad, as someone who strongly benefits from friendships with other neurodivergent people. I would like her to have some in someone’s fic, please! Let me know if you write it.

That’s all for now… maybe I’ll add more in a future post.

For any other AuDHDers, do you have any elements of your personal experience that you incorporate into how you interpret or write Sara’s character? Feel free to reblog and add on, if you feel so inclined. (But also, no pressure.) Like I said, every ND person experiences this stuff differently, so someone else may have completely different experiences than me.

[kunosoura]

there was another post I saw on here recently about meeting someone who's "autistic on a different frequency to you and you can't help but be rubbed the wrong way as they blunder through a conversation" and like between this and that laios post. Idk the more cynical (and honestly cruel) part of me wants to say that there are a lot of people who wouldn't have considered themselves autistic in the age before self diagnosis and eased criteria because their neurodivergence isn't an insurmountable barrier to normal socialization who get a little too comfortable with being ableist because of their label. People who think that because they're autistic and okay at not accidentally rubbing people the wrong way it's some sort of flaw for autistic people who can't help that.

And like I know just posting this that the shark lurking under the surface is that I'm on the way to calling people trenders or fakes, which is not a position I want to hold (thus making my feelings on this hard to sort out properly) but come on. This quiet dividing line we've drawn between palatable and unpalatable kinds of autism is ableist as shit and there's no excuse for going around talking in this cruel way.

[marylynbirds]

Things I do that are (probably) related to my autism

I was diagnosed 1,5 years ago as a young adult so idk I've been thinking about this a lot lately and wanted to share. These are things that I do because of or to help with my autism (I kept it neutral/positive!).

- having a favourite spot in the bus..

- aaand having several back up spots in case somebody else is sitting there.

- buying putty (it's kinda like clay) to fidget with. (I have a small one from crazy Aaron's thinking putty, it fits in my pockets so is easy to take with me)

- making weird body movements when I'm happy (flapping my arms, moving from side to side doing little dances)

- when I was at my parents last time I wanted to put my face against his soft fur. He's a bit of a nervous cat so for his sake I didn't.

- bought a new planner that's focused on keeping a balance between work/school, private live and potential side hustles. (it's kinda like a bullet journal without having to draw everything yourself)

- my wireless headphones are the best! (no wire that keeps getting stuck, better quality than my earbuds and the sound can be very quiet and it still cancels out a lot of noice)

- bringing earplugs to places when I can't or don't want to wear my headphones (I have Loops Quiet, thinking about getting the Engage ones as well)

- bought a 1 liter waterbottle with timestamps on it so I remember to drink water.

- I pay a lot of attention to detail, especially when it comes to essays, my studymates/friends know this and ask me for help. I like helping them get a better grade and learn. (I'm studying to be a teacher for a reason xD)

- taking a bus/train earlier so I not stressed about delays

This is all I can think of from the top of my head. Let me know if you can relate! Are there any other things you do bc of your (suspected) autism (self diagnosis is valid)?