#autistic martin crieff

[everyonesonthespectrum]

Today’s Autistic character of the day is:

Martin Crieff from Cabin Pressure

Requested by @friend-through-teenage-nights

[un-monstre]

Martin Crieff makes more sense when you read him as an autistic trans man

[unlessimwrongwhichyouknowimnot]

Autistic Martin Crieff (Cabin Pressure)

Martin Crieff is the captain for MJN Air, the airdot in the BBC radio series Cabin Pressure. He is voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch (and, for one episode when Benedict was sick, by Tom Goodman-Hill).

Martin is so very obviously autistic and the examples below will show you why I think that. I had to cut out a lot of the examples I found, so that the post wouldn’t be insanely long. Though, it’s 11 pages in my word document, so maybe it’s already insanely long. 

Arthur Shappey, another character on the show, is also very obviously autistic. You can find my post about him here.

The traits focused on were taken from this list of Inclusive Autistic Traits.

All examples below were taken from transcripts at this website.

Social 

1. Differences in body language and nonverbal communication

I don’t really have examples for this one due to it being a radio show, but there is a running joke on the show that people don’t recognize Martin as captain (even when he’s wearing his uniform) because he doesn’t look like one. This could possible be an example of how Martin’s body language/nonverbal communication is different than allistics.

 2. Differences in verbal communication (Martin struggles with communicating with others, will take things literally, and has occasional moments of echolalia. He’s very insistent that Air Traffic Control uses the appropriate scripts when communicating.)

A. Different use of literal and metaphorical language

 1x03 – Cremona

MARTIN: And these are the altimeters. HESTER: Really? They sound like a nice middle-class couple, don’t they?! (She and Douglas laugh. Martin chuckles nervously.) MARTIN: How-how-how d’you mean? HESTER: You know: oh, do come in, lovely to see you. Now, have you met the Altimeters? MARTIN: Ohh!  (He laughs falsely.) I see! Yes, that’s very good!  (He laughs falsely again.) Yes, the Altimeters! (More false laughter.) Mrs and Mr. Altimeter!  (Putting on a deeper voice) I’m-I’m-I’m Greg Altimeter and-and-and this is my wife, Katherine Altimeter! (He laughs again, snorting in the middle of his laughter before trailing off.)

~*~*~*~

MARTIN: What a lovely woman. DOUGLAS: Oh, did you like her? You seemed rather cool and distant. MARTIN (anxiously): Oh, no! Did I? Really? DOUGLAS: No.

 3x03 – Newcastle

LINDA: Hello, sorry to intrude. It’s … the conversation back there was getting a little heated. MARTIN: Oh no, you’re welcome. It’s lovely to see you and very nice to … see you. LINDA: Thank you, Martin. MARTIN: So, Linda, you’re a pilot. LINDA: Yes. MARTIN: Yes, obviously. Sorry. That wasn’t a question. That was just a preliminary statement before the actual question that I was going to ask, which is: how long have you been a pilot? LINDA: Twelve years. MARTIN: Twelve years, right. Twelve years. Well, that’s not a long time or a short time. Umm, do you like it? LINDA: What? MARTIN: Being a pilot. LINDA: Yes, I do. Do you? MARTIN: Yes, I do. I like it, like you. I mean, I like it like you do, not I like it like I like you. I don’t like you. I mean, I don’t not like you, I just, I don’t like you as much as I like being a pilot. LINDA: Don’t you? MARTIN: Well, not yet. I mean, I’m sure if I got to know you, I’d like you more than being … well, probably not more than, because I love being a pilot and I don’t suppose I’d love you … well, I suppose I might … no, I mean, I’m just gonna go and have a wander down the cabin now. (He leaves the flight deck.) LINDA: Is he always like that? DOUGLAS: No. He’s not terribly good at talking to other pilots, I’m afraid. LINDA: Oh. I thought it was because I was a woman. DOUGLAS: And he’s atrocious at talking to women, so I’m afraid you represent something of a Perfect Storm.

 3x05 – Rotterdam

MARTIN: Carolyn, I really feel I ought to do the welcome message. I mean, after all, I am the captain. People want to hear from the captain. They find it reassuring. CAROLYN: Martin, when has anyone ever found you reassuring? MARTIN: That’s not fair! CAROLYN: Look, I’m sorry, but this needs to be calm, relaxed and authoritative – none of which, I’m afraid, are qualities for which you are famous. DOUGLAS: Mind you, they’re terribly hard qualities to find. MARTIN (anything but calmly): I am calm! I’m very, very calm – and authoritative, and-and, er, the other one. What was the other one? I can do that as well, whatever it was. DOUGLAS: Relaxed? MARTIN (frantically): Yes! I’m very relaxed! CAROLYN: All right. Give it your best shot. MARTIN: Er, what, now? CAROLYN: Practice run. Fade up on Captain Martin Crieff at the controls … (Martin whimpers.) CAROLYN: He turns to the camera engagingly and says … MARTIN: I’m not ready! CAROLYN: And blackout! MARTIN: What? No! CAROLYN: Thank you, Martin. We’ll let you know. MARTIN: No-no-no, wait-wait-wait! Okay.  (He clears his throat.) I’m ready now. CAROLYN: Okay. Go. MARTIN (calmly): Hello. Welcome to MJN Air.  (His calmness immediately begins to disintegrate.) M-m-my name is Captain Martin Crieff, though that doesn’t matter – it’s all very informal here. Just call me Martin … well, in the context of this video, anyway. If you actually see me in person, it’s probably best you do call me CaptainCrieff, or just Captain. It’s just protocol, I’m afraid, um, but if it was up to me you could call me … ‘Marty’. (Slight pause.) No, no, actually, no, no, let’s not confuse things: definitely don’t ever call me ‘Marty’. Right, so, to recap: hello. I am Captain Martin Captain … Captain Crieff, Crieff, I mean! Can we start again?

 4x01 – Timbuktu

MARTIN (into radio): Fitton Tower, this is Golf Echo Romeo Tango India established on the ILS. FITTON ATC (over radio): ’Ello, ’ello, is it a bird, is it a plane? No! It’s … oh, no wait, it is technically a plane. DOUGLAS: Hello, Karl. MARTIN: Fitton Tower, please confine air traffic communications to standard phraseology.

KARL: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wind two eighty at eight; Runway three-six clear to land; all the usual jazz. MARTIN: Roger. Clear to land, three-six. KARL: So-o-o, did you have a lovely time in Luton? DOUGLAS: How could one not? It’s a palace of pleasure. MARTIN: I mean, seriously, you’re really not meant to just chat on this thing!

 4x02 – Uskerty 

ARTHUR: Okay. Er, ooh, and Douglas, um, storm warning. DOUGLAS: Ah. Thank you, Arthur. What gale force? ARTHUR: Er, what does it go up to again? Is it, is it ten? DOUGLAS: Twelve. ARTHUR: I’d say … eight. DOUGLAS: Oh dear. MARTIN: No, I-I-I’ve just picked up the weather. There’s lots of rain, but no storms. DOUGLAS: We’re not talking about the weather.

 B. Different use of speech (echolalia, difficulty speaking under stress, etc.)

1x02 – Boston

DOUGLAS: How did it go? MARTIN: Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine.

 1x03 – Cremona

(Martin is practicing how to greet a movie star they’ll be flying.)

MARTIN (in an over-the-top grovelling voice): Good morning, madam, and welc… No, ‘ma’am’. Good morning, ma’am, and welc… No, she’s not the Queen! Um … good morning, Ms Macauley and w… No, ‘madam’.

How Martin actually greets her:

MARTIN: Yes! Hello! Er, good morning, Ms Madam, and wel… Ma-Madam Macauley, Ms Ma’am, Mmm, Ms Macauley.

1x04 – Douz

MARTIN: But why? Why? I mean … why?  Why?

 3. Differences in interactions and relationships

(Martin struggles with how he relates to others and how he interacts with others.)

2x05 – Kuala Lumpar

MARTIN: Why didn’t you tell me about it? DOUGLAS: Well, we were just waiting for you to settle in – you know, get comfortable with everyone. MARTIN: I’ve been here a year and a half! DOUGLAS: And we’re still waiting.

~*~*~*~

DOUGLAS: Don’t be so melodramatic. No-one drinks when they’re on duty. It’s just a bit of fun. It’s more about the secret club atmosphere – you know, like at school. MARTIN: Not at my school. DOUGLAS: Oh, come on! You must have had secret clubs in the lunch break at least! MARTIN: No, actually. People weren’t really around during lunch break. I think they went home or … (He trails off.) MARTIN: Oh.

 3x03 – Newcastle

LINDA: Have we met before?

MARTIN: I don’t think so, no. People haven’t usually met me before. LINDA: Sorry? MARTIN: I mean, they’ve-they’ve normally met Douglas before if they’ve met anyone. I mean, obviously the people who’ve met me before have met me before, but there aren’t many of those because I-I haven’t … met … most people.

Sensory

 1. Differences in sensory sensitivity

2x03 – Ipswich

MARTIN: Er, as I believe I mentioned before, I have a slight abnormality of the inner ear. It’s-it’s perfectly air-worthy, but it means I, um, I-I-I-I-I black out if I get dizzy.

 4x04 – Wokingham

(Martin really really hates being lifted into the air by his brother.)

SIMON: Martin! Come here, chap! MARTIN: Oh, no, don’t … SIMON: Big hug! MARTIN: Mmm, it’s-it’s very nice to see you too, Simon. SIMON: No, no, no, none of that. Big hug. (Martin whimpers and groans, his voice muffled.) WENDY (fondly): Ahh, lovely! MARTIN (muffled): It’s not lovely! SIMON: Ooh, it’s good to see you, eh? MARTIN (muffled): Don’t lift me up! SIMON: And up he goes! MARTIN: No! SIMON: Whee! MARTIN: Put me down! SIMON: He’s flying! Whee! MARTIN: Put me down! Put me down! 

~*~*~*~

SIMON: Good lord! Is it? Anyway – hug? MARTIN: No, no, no. I’ll crease my uniform – my captain’s uniform. SIMON: Ooh, I don’t think so. Looks pretty polyester-tastic to me.  Come ’ere! MARTIN (muffled, protesting): Don’t lift me. Please, don’t lift me. SIMON: And up we go! (The doorbell rings and the door is opened. Martin continues to protest in a muffled voice.)  DOUGLAS: Have I got the right house? MARTIN (muffled): Put me down!  Put me down!

 2. Strong enjoyment, desire, or need for certain types of sensory input. Demonstrated by stimming (self-stimulation) behaviour.

 3x02 – Paris

(The ‘him’ Arthur is referring to is Mr. Birling, a passenger, and the ‘you’ is Martin. Martin’s whining could be a form of verbal stimming due to stress.)

ARTHUR: I poured him a glass of whiskey; he tasted it, said it was horrible. I called for you; you came; you did that funny thing with your throat … DOUGLAS: What funny thing? ARTHUR: Oh, you know, the sort of … (he makes a high-pitched panicked whining sound).

 Cognitive

 1. Strength of focus and rigidity 

A. Intense focus and interests

(Martin’s lifelong special interest is airplanes, and to a certain extent, the rules and procedures involved in flying airplanes.)

2x01 – Helsinki 

MARTIN (laughing): Well, I doubt it, actually. I’ve also got Flight Simulator. KIERAN: Oh, which edition? MARTIN (hesitantly): … Ninety-five. KIERAN: And how often do you train on it? DOUGLAS: Play on it. MARTIN: Most days. DOUGLAS: Hang on, hang on, Martin. You come home after ten or twelve hours’ flying an aeroplane and then, to wind down, you sit in front of a computer and pretend to fly an aeroplane?

~*~*~*~

KIERAN: Er … (he clears his throat) … well. Let me start by getting an idea of your hinterland. What are your outside interests? MARTIN (slowly): Outside of what? KIERAN: Outside flying. MARTIN: Outside flying? KIERAN: Yes. MARTIN: You mean, what else am I interested in apart from flying?

 2x03 – Ipswich

DR. DUNCAN: Now then, I want to talk to you today about the potentially dangerous mind sets a pilot can get themselves into; and in particular what are known as the Six Deadly I’s. These are … MARTIN (instantly): Impatience, Impulsivity, Invulnerability, Insecurity, Indecision, and I-Know-Best. 

~*~*~*~

DR. DUNCAN: All right. Individual questions now. Martin: how are the passenger oxygen masks activated? MARTIN (promptly): Automatically by a barometric pressure switch when the cabin altitude is fourteen thousand feet; or when the Pass Oxygen switch on the overhead panel is positioned to ‘On’.

 2x05 – Kuala Lumpar

MARTIN: It wouldn’t be for lounging in. It would be for our briefings; doing our log books. I thought maybe each month one of us could present a paper on some aspect of aviation that interests us.

~*~*~*~

MARTIN: Tell you what, though, George, er, you’ll be interested in this. You know that little Cherokee that was out doing circuits today? Well, on his third landing, he … (Cries of “Ohh!” from everyone, as someone repeatedly rings a bell behind the bar.) GEORGE, DAVE and OTHERS: Oh, shop!  (This gradually turns into a chant of “Shop, shop, shop, shop!”) MARTIN (anxiously): What’s going on?! What have I done?! DAVE: Talkin’ shop, Skip. Sorry – automatic round forfeit. MARTIN: What?! DOUGLAS: Flap and Throttle house rules, I’m afraid, Martin. Anyone caught talking shop has to buy a round for the whole bar. MARTIN: Then, how d’you talk about flying? GEORGE: Well, you can’t, can you? That’s the point. MARTIN: So what d’you talk about? DAVE: I dunno! Music, sport, women! GEORGE: The meanin’ o’ life.  Anything but bloody planes, eh? MARTIN: Yes. Yeah, of course.  (Sadly, his voice getting quieter) Yeah, who wants to talk about stupid … aviation?

~*~*~*~

MARTIN: So, I mean, I-I was within limits but it was a ticklish little crosswind – sixty, sixty-five, but gusting seventy – and I thought to myself, ‘Well, I have seven options here …’ DAVE (despairingly): Seven. MARTIN: Ah! Quite right, Dave, yes! Eight.  (He chuckles.) You see, I’d been given the one-nine runway but … d-d’you know the airport at Nice? DAVE: No. MARTIN: Oh well, I’ll just explain the layout. They’ve got this very … DAVE: Look, I mean yes. Yes. I do know it. MARTIN: Are you sure? Because you really won’t understand this story if you don’t. I’ll just refresh your memory. There’s a very odd …

~*~*~*~ 

MARTIN: Well, it doesn’t matter – he’s here now. Come and join us, Arthur. I was, er, just telling Dave about the landing into Nice. ARTHUR: Ooh, what about the talking shop forfeit? MARTIN: Oh, I’ve paid for that. DAVE: Yeah, yeah. He bought me a drink. So now he can talk about flying … (he tries to suppress a sigh) … as much as he likes.

 4x01 – Timbuktu

MARTIN: Do take your time, Douglas. Still everything to play for.  (Gleefully) I’m only twenty-six points ahead of your three points!  (He giggles.) But-but I have every confidence you’re about to come roaring back! DOUGLAS: Yes, all right. MARTIN: But I am gonna have to press you for an answer, I’m afraid. DOUGLAS (sulkily): I don’t know. At twenty thousand feet, I suppose about two hundred knots? MARTIN: Ooh, what a pity! It’s a lovely guess, but I’m afraid the answer on the card was two hundred and four knots! I win again! So that’s Martin on twenty-nine; Douglas … oh! Still on three … (he chuckles) … as we head into round two. DOUGLAS: That was one round?! MARTIN: Oh, don’t worry, don’t worry. Round two’s much more fun. We say a fond farewell to the flight manual … DOUGLAS: Thank God. MARTIN: … and we welcome instead our very good friend the operations manual! DOUGLAS (protesting): No! No, I’m sorry, I’m done. MARTIN: No-no, fair’s fair, Douglas. You promised if I joined in with Flight Deck Buckaroo, I could pick the next game. DOUGLAS: But I hate this game! MARTIN: Yes, and I hate Flight Deck Buckaroo. DOUGLAS: How can you hate Flight Deck Buckaroo? It’s a terrific game!  And it’s educational. MARTIN: There is nothing educational about seeing who can disable the most instruments without setting off the recorded warning. DOUGLAS: Yes there is! You find out all the things you don’t really need! Like altimeters. MARTIN: No, this is educational. So, welcome to round two of Beat the Manuals!

 4x06 – Yverdon-les-Bains 

DEROCHE: So we invited you to take a sim check and a technical exam. MARTIN: Yes! DEROCHE: Yes. Your results are rather curious reading. In your simulator exam, you were rated ‘adequate’ … MARTIN: Oh! Good! DEROCHE: No, ‘adequate’. But in your technical knowledge exam … MARTIN: Yes? DEROCHE: … you got ninety-nine percent. MARTIN: Oh, good. That is good, isn’t it? DEROCHE (hesitantly): … Yes. OSKAR: Kind of amazing, actually, because the test is designed to return scores of between forty and sixty percent. No-one’s ever got more than eighty-four percent. MARTIN: Really? … (Thoughtfully) Ninety-nine percent. So I got a question wrong? DEROCHE: Yes. MARTIN: Which one? DEROCHE: Er, “What increase in landing distance is required for a flap-thirty landing with auto spoilers inoperable?” MARTIN (instantly): Seven hundred and thirty feet. DEROCHE: That’s … the right answer, yes. You put a hundred and thirty. MARTIN (snorting derisively): I don’t think I did! DEROCHE: You … you did. Look. MARTIN: No! That’s a seven! DEROCHE: Oh. … Well, then you got a hundred percent.  (Martin sighs happily.)

~*~*~*~

DEROCHE: There are questions that are designed to be unanswerable without consulting the manual. They’re there for us to see how candidates cope under stress. MARTIN: But I learned the manual. OSKAR: You … learned it? MARTIN: Yes! DEROCHE: That’s impossible. It’s-it’s six hundred pages long. MARTIN: I know – it took me ages. OSKAR: But some of the questions weren’t even about our aircraft. MARTIN: No, but those ones were easy. They were just general knowledge. DEROCHE: We asked you which aircraft type KLM added in the winter of nineteen forty-eight! MARTIN: Exactly! The Convair two-forty! Any twelve year old could tell you that!

 Zurich – Part One

CAROLYN: Oh! Unless I can interest either of you in buying a sunbleached print of two Spitfires fighting in a clear green sky. Martin? Obviously I’m mainly looking to you.  MARTIN: Er, no thank you, Carolyn; and that one’s not a Spitfire. CAROLYN: How can you tell? MARTIN (quick fire for the first part of the sentence): Well, partly because of the wing shape, fuselage and markings, but mainly because Spitfires didn’t fight each other.

 B. Preference for routine and sameness

 1x01 – Abu Dhabi

MARTIN: I can’t. You’re in my seat. DOUGLAS: Your seat? You have a seat? MARTIN: Yes. DOUGLAS: In Carolyn’s car? MARTIN: The front seat is my seat. DOUGLAS: What, did you call shotgun? MARTIN: I don’t need to call shotgun. I’m the captain. DOUGLAS: The captain gets the front seat in the aircraft, Martin, because he’s driving it – not in any vehicle he happens to be in. MARTIN: I always sit in the front seat in the taxi.

 Christmas Special – Molokai

MARTIN: Well, there’s always an orange in a Christmas stocking! And chocolate coins!  And a sugar mouse. Everyone knows that.

 4x06 – Yverdon-les-Bains

OSKAR: Okay, show me. Suppose you’re all ready to take off. Suddenly you realise: oh no! You’ve left your licence at home. What do you do? MARTIN: Oh, that’s easy. OSKAR: Yes? MARTIN: That wouldn’t happen. OSKAR: Okay. But if it did? MARTIN: But it wouldn’t. No, my licence is in a special inside pocket of my flight bag. I never take it out except at Customs; and I check it’s there on leaving my home, on getting into my car, on leaving my car, on entering the terminal, on leaving the terminal, and on entering the aircraft. OSKAR: Why do you do that if you never take it out? MARTIN: So that I can never leave it at home. OSKAR: Okay, but say this time, somehow, you have. MARTIN (laughing in disbelief): But how?!  OSKAR: Somehow – for the sake of argument. (Martin sighs in frustration.) MARTIN (unhappily): All right. OSKAR: What would you do? MARTIN: Well, I would immediately inform the captain what had happened, apologise profusely, explain how literally impossible it is that this has happened … OSKAR: … but that it has happened … MARTIN: … but that … (he sighs) … for the sake of argument, it has happened, and then I would go home and get it.

OSKAR: Okay, great. So Élise is your captain – tell her. MARTIN: Okay. Um …  (He clears his throat.) Captain Duhrrrosh-sh … Élise.  (He coughs.) I’m very sorry, but I have – for the sake of argument – left my licence at home. DEROCHE: You fool! Never mind – we’ll go without it. MARTIN: Obviously we can’t do that, Captain, because it would be illegal … DEROCHE (talking over him): Nonsense. The flight is within Europe; your airline I.D. will do. MARTIN: Yes, but I’m afraid I left that behind as well. DEROCHE: No you didn’t, or you wouldn’t have been allowed to board the plane. MARTIN: Well, I must have done, because I keep my I.D. card in the same pocket. OSKAR: But for the sake of argument, you didn’t. MARTIN (tetchily): Fine!  (Through gritted teeth) Very strange argument.  (To Élise) Still, I don’t have a licence and it’s illegal to fly without a licence. DEROCHE: Technically, but it’s not as if anyone ever checks. MARTIN: No, but it is illegal. DEROCHE: But this airport closes at dusk. MARTIN: Then we’ll have to go tomorrow! DEROCHE: But there are two hundred people on board … MARTIN (talking over her): We’ll have to find them hotels! DEROCHE: It’s Christmas Day! MARTIN: Merry Christmas! DEROCHE: You are proposing to cost the company thousands and thousands of Euros for a technicality which has no effect on air safety?! MARTIN: Well, this is exactly why I’d never leave my licence at home!

 2. Differences in cognitive abilities

(Martin struggles with executive functioning (i.e. planning actions that have a lot of steps, such as flying the plane in difficult conditions, difficulty with impulse control, etc.)

1x04 – Douz

CAROLYN (a little breathlessly): Good lord, Douglas. You made a right old meal of that, didn’t you? DOUGLAS: Not really. CAROLYN: What? You did two go-arounds, then you finally slammed it onto the ground like you were trying to wipe out the dinosaurs.

DOUGLAS: Oh, I’m not denying a right old meal was made of it, but I was not the chef du jour. Captain Crieff kindly took control.

CAROLYN: What?!  Martin landed it?! With a hydro failure in a crosswind?! Martin, you get flustered trying to parallel park! Why on earth would you take control?

 2x03 – Ipswich 

DR. DUNCAN: O-kay. Great! Well, next: Impulsivity – that’s the tendency of some pilots to panic under pressure, to do the first thing they think of just for the sake of doing something. Now, again, you may never have … DOUGLAS: Actually, that does ring a little bell. DR. DUNCAN: Oh, well – again, without naming names. DOUGLAS: No. That would be the height of iniquity. Well, this chap – could be literally any of the other pilots in MJN Air; let’s call him Marvin – once requested an emergency landing because his watch went off.

~*~*~*~

DR. DUNCAN: … and finally Indecision – getting caught in the headlights of a problem and being unable to settle on a plan of action. DOUGLAS: And Marvin. MARTIN: I thought you said Marvin impulsively did the first thing he thought of. DOUGLAS: Amazingly, he manages to combine both: doing whichever is least appropriate to the situation.

 3. Difference in thinking styles

 3x04 – Ottery St. Mary

MARTIN: Oh, come on. I mean, I can definitely imagine a hundred otters. ARTHUR: Mmm, me too, yellow car. DOUGLAS: All right. How much space do they take up? MARTIN: Er … DOUGLAS: Could you, for instance, get a hundred otters on board GERTI? MARTIN: Yes, I reckon you could.

[ourfavesareautistic]

Martin Crieff is Autistic

Character: Martin Crieff

Canon: Cabin Pressure (radio series)

Actor: Benedict Cumberbatch

Why we think they’re autistic: Cabin Pressure is a hilarious British radio comedy featuring four main characters and set almost entirely within an airplane. Martin Crieff is the rather young and inexperienced captain of the plane. Martin has always been obsessed with airplanes from the time he was a young child, and there is plenty of evidence that this is and always has been his special interest. In one episode he states that he’s wanted to be an airline captain since he was six, and when asked what he wanted to be before that, he says he wanted to be an aeroplane. In an early episode, he replies to a joke at his expense by the first officer Douglas by explaining how while Douglas was reading other things, Martin was busy “rereading Principles of Climatology for Pilots and underlining bits in red.” Later in the series we discover that Martin has a second job as a delivery man, because the way he got to be Captain over the much better qualified First Officer was by agreeing not to take a salary. His one and only goal and real joy in life is airplanes - flying them, reading about them, visiting museums about them. Martin frequently takes this very literally and believes in following rules to the letter. In the episode titled “Fitton,” the crew are going through different procedures and as part of his written procedure for an emergency he includes, “Captain dons cap,” which inspires jokes from the others he doesn’t understand. It becomes clear as the series goes on that Martin doesn’t have a lot of friends outside of the rest of the crew of the airplane, and it appears to have always been this way. Autistic people frequently find it hard to make or keep friends, or just simply don’t feel a need to have friends, preferring to be alone. He is also very awkward much of the time when interacting with anyone outside of the other three main characters. In one episode the crew is preparing to fly a very famous actress as their only passenger, and Martin is clearly quite nervous to meet her and rehearses exactly how he should address her when he meets her. This exchange from “Newcastle” perfectly shows Martin’s awkwardness in social situations and new people, and his total and complete obsession with airplanes and being a pilot:

Martin: So... Linda... you're a pilot.

Linda: Yes?

Martin: Yes, obviously, sorry. That wasn't a question, that - that was just a preliminary statement before the actual question I was gonna ask... which is... How long have you been a pilot?

Linda: Twelve years.

Martin: Twelve years, right, twelve years, well... that is not a long time or a short time... And... do you like it?

Linda: What?!

Martin: Being a pilot?

Linda: Yes, I do. Do you?

Martin: Yes, I do. I like it. Like you. I mean I like it like you do, not I like it like I like you, I don't like you. I mean I don't not like you, I just... I don - I don't like you as much as I like being a pilot.

Linda: Don't you?

Martin: Well, not yet. I - I mean I'm sure, if I got to know you, I'd like you more than being - well, probably not more than, because I LOVE being a pilot and I don't suppose I'd love you... well I suppose I might. No - I mean... I'm just gonna go and have a wander down the cabin now.

Why It Matters: All autistic representation matters. Martin Crieff shows an example of someone with a lifelong special interest who worked hard to achieve his goal related to that interest. It shows someone who is ultimately successful at what they do, and is eventually able to form relationships with others when he is ready and chooses to.

Challenging Tropes: Not much to say on this one. Martin is the stereotypical media autistic - white, male, cisgender with a relatively stereotypical special interest.

Bonus: John Finnemore, the writer and creator of Cabin Pressure, who also played the character of Arthur, has been asked about whether Martin Crieff is autistic, and his response was that he didn’t deliberately write him that way but believes he is on the spectrum.

“That's an interesting point. Yes, I think he may well be on the spectrum somewhere, though as Miss Pear suggests, probably nearer the Asperger Syndrome end than full-on autism. But I did not set out to create a character with the condition, so let's say it's present, but undiagnosed. (It has only just occurred to me that AS sometimes impairs motor skills and co-ordination, so it's possible that the very thing that gave him such a drive to become a pilot was also what stood in his way...)”

Also, Benedict Cumberbatch has played several other characters (Sherlock, Alan Turing, Stephen Hawking) who are or were likely autistic, and there is some speculation that Cumberbatch himself might be undiagnosed autistic.

(source)

[arodrwho]

aaa short list of characters who Are Autistic:

dr who

harry wells (e-2 version)

lilo pelekai

bill potts

barry allen

cisco ramon

temperance brennan

spencer reid

sherlock holmes

luna lovegood

hermione granger

dirk gently

amanda brotzmann

kara danvers

clint barton

parker

rey

finn

rose tico

luke skywalker

mmmmmmmmmmm han solo

oh right oh right fuck, mycroft holmes

........chiana

walter bishop.

astrid farnsworth (e-1 and e-2 versions bc I Said So)

alec hardison probably

caitlin snow tbh

(so much of team flash is autistic..........so much..........)

burton guster.

abby sciuto

ducky

leroy jethro gibbs

castiel

milo thatch

right uhhhhhh newt geizler

hermann gottlieb

arthur shappey

martin crieff

rosa diaz

raymond holt

amy santiago

charles boyle

BART

the rowdy 3

gon freecss

alluka zoldyck

mayb killua zoldyck too, who know

naruto

rock lee

GAara yes

edward elric

alphonse elric

deku

froppy

iida

L

septimus heap....

penelope garcia

cHELL I NEARLY FORGOT

river tam

simon tam

will graham

neville longbottom

charlie weasley

arthur weasley

remus lupin

hAGRID

matt murdock my dude

klaus baudelaire

violet baudelaire

sunny baudelaire

all might

steven universe

su garnet

su pearl

su peridot

elena alvarez

syd

zuko

toph

katniss everdeen

pkmn red

ash ketchum

james

rory williams...

jo grant!!!

okoye

september

the. guy. al. from the flash what's his name uh. he's alchemy? albert? something? maybe uh. tom felton dude. u kno the one

mmmm the girl from runaways, the youngest one, molly hernandez i think? her. yea

oh uh. juliet o'hara. she's autistic too

OH mozzie. yes

neal caffrey?

data

spock

drax

groot

mantis

others.........so many others...........

[therehavebeenstranger]

isn’t it wonderful that Martin Crieff from the radio sitcom Cabin Pressure is Jewish and autistic I think it’s wonderful and also canon

[ieatmorecrispsthanyou]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Cabin Pressure Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Martin Crieff, Douglas Richardson Additional Tags: autistic!martin, Meltdown, Douglas POV, Non-Verbal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Caring Douglas, Martin Crieff Whump, Canon Autistic Character Summary:

Douglas didn't want to admit it but he felt embarrassed he hadn't noticed sooner that something was up with Martin.

[unlessimwrongwhichyouknowimnot]

Autistic Arthur Shappey (Cabin Pressure)

Cabin Pressure is a BBC radio show following the four members of MJN Air, an airdot (because you need more than one plane to have an airline) run by Carolyn Knapp-Shappey. Arthur Shappey is the steward of the plane and Carolyn’s son. Arthur is voiced by John Finnemore, the creator of Cabin Pressure who also wrote every episode.

Arthur stood out to me as autistic from the 2nd episode when he mentioned taking a course on understanding people. Because autistic headcanons are turning into a new special interest of mine, I decided to create this list of reasons why Arthur is very much autistic. 

Martin Crieff, another character on the show, is also very autistic. You can find his list here.

The traits focused on were taken from this list of Inclusive Autistic Traits.

All the examples below were taken from transcripts at this website. 

Social

1. Differences in body language and nonverbal communication (this is obviously extremely difficult to tell with Cabin Pressure being a radio show, but there was one instance of Arthur’s body language being described as atypical)

2x02 – Gdansk

MARTIN: Yes. Arthur, what are you doing with your face? ARTHUR: I’m winking. MARTIN: You’re only supposed to use one eye. ARTHUR: I know, but I can only do that if I hold the other one open with my finger, and I thought Douglas would notice.

 2. Differences in verbal communication (Arthur struggles with not recognizing sarcasm, taking things literally, not understanding rhetorical statements/questions, struggling with metaphor, occasional echolalia etc.)

A. Different use of literal and metaphorical language

1x05 – Edinburgh 

ARTHUR: Oh, I just, er, popped onto the roof of the plane. CAROLYN: The roof?! What the hell are you doing up there?! ARTHUR: Well, the picture on the rugby went all funny, so Douglas said I should shin up onto the roof and twiddle the aerial … only now I’m here, I can’t seem to find it. CAROLYN: Ohh, you idiot boy! This is “Go and water the window boxes” all over again, isn’t it? ARTHUR: Ohhh!

3x06 – St. Petersburg

ARTHUR: Here you are, Skip. Nice hot cup of coffee. MARTIN: Oh.  (He takes a sip.) Aww! It’s cold! ARTHUR: Nice cup of coffee. MARTIN: It’s horrible! ARTHUR: Cup of coffee. MARTIN: I’m not even sure it is coffee. ARTHUR: … Cup. How’re you feeling?

~*~*~*~

DOUGLAS: Alas, an exhaustive search of St Petersburg airport duty free has yet to turn up anything in the shape of a Toblerone. ARTHUR: Triangular.

 4x03 – Vaduz

ARTHUR: Wow! It’s an actual castle! DOUGLAS: What did you expect Vaduz Castle to be? ARTHUR: I dunno. World of Leather was very disappointing.

 4x05 – Xinzhou

ARTHUR: Er, Mum? CAROLYN: Yes? ARTHUR: A quick question: you know those small chickens you get where everyone has one each? CAROLYN: Yes. ARTHUR: What are they called? CAROLYN: Poussin. ARTHUR: Oh. Not ‘baby chickens’. CAROLYN: No. ARTHUR: Oh. Chaps, you know how we were talking about mistakes? MARTIN: What have you done? ARTHUR: … and how they happen to all of us and it’s just one of those things? CAROLYN: What have you done? ARTHUR (frantically): It should have made it clearer! When I was ordering the catering, there was one called ‘baby chicken’ and I thought they’d be those little ones, and I love those because you feel like a giant! But they didn’t mean that! It-it meant these. CAROLYN: So … the catering you have laid on, Arthur, for four people trapped in a plane overnight, is two jars of chicken-flavoured baby food? ARTHUR: No! That’s not all. There’s two lamb-flavoured ones as well. DOUGLAS: What did you think ‘baby lamb’ was? ARTHUR: Well, all lambs are baby lambs.

~*~*~*~ 

CAROLYN: Arthur. Say something. ARTHUR: Ooh! Okay! What shall I say? CAROLYN: Well, anything, just so I know where you are and I don’t tread on you getting back to my seat. ARTHUR: Oh, right!  (Half-singing) ♪ Here I am, don’t tread on me. Here I am, don’t tread on me. Here I am, don’t tread on me. Here I am, don’t tread on me … ♪ 

 4x06 – Yverdon-les-Bains 

HERC: You can have something more interesting if you like, Arthur. There’s, er, there’s guava; mango; dragon fruit … ARTHUR: Wow.  Dragon fruit?! HERC: Help yourself. ARTHUR: Thanks, Herc! (He takes and eats a piece.) HERC: So, what do you think?  ARTHUR (with his mouth half full): Yeah, it’s quite nice. Mmm. It’sh not really what I was expecting. I-I thought it’d be a bit more, um, I don’t know … HERC: Dragony?

 Zurich – Part One

CAROLYN: It is a happy ending – just not a fairytale ending. We can’t expect that. Real happy endings are never simple. ARTHUR: Yes they are. Like in ‘Finding Nemo’ when they find Nemo. Or in ‘Casablanca’ when the woman gets a go on the plane. CAROLYN: It’s not! ARTHUR: I suppose maybe ‘The Jungle Book’ when you’re meant to be happy that Mowgli goes off with the boring girl to the human village instead of hanging out with Baloo and Bagheera. That’s a kind of sad happy ending.

 B. Different use of speech (Echolalia)

 4x05 – Xinzhou

(Arthur, Carolyn, Douglas, and Martin are having to sleep on the plane. Arthur has claimed the aisle to sleep, and sings his song when the others are moving past him in the dark so he doesn’t get stepped on. When he’s the one moving, he still sings the song.)

 ARTHUR (tiredly): ♪ Here I am, don’t tread on me. Here I am, don’t tread on me. ♪ CAROLYN: It’s you moving!

 Zurich – Part One

(Arthur has turned a small moving van into an ice cream van and created his own “ice cream chimes,” which consists of him repeating the words ‘ice cream’ repeatedly.)

ARTHUR (dramatically): The chimes. I’ve done my own ice cream chimes. Listen! (He inserts a cassette into a player and his own voice starts to play from it.) ARTHUR’s VOICE (singing to the tune of ‘Greensleeves’, with no musical accompaniment): ♪ Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice. Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, get your lovely ice cream. ♪ (His voice goes very off-key at the end.) MARTIN: Er, yes, that’s … ARTHUR’s VOICE (straining for the high note at the beginning of the chorus): ♪ I-i-ice cream, i-i-i-ice cream, i-i-i-ice cream, i-i-i… ♪ (The cassette is turned off.)

 Differences in interactions and relationships (Arthur has a very distinct way of speaking to passengers, struggles with knowing how to communicate with others, and gets flustered easily in conversations. His mum sent him on a course on understanding people in Ipswich.)

 1x02 – Boston

ARTHUR: Good evening, sir, welcome on board today. Good evening, madam, welcome also to you today on board. Good evening, sir, welcome to being on board to you today. Ooh, er, sir? Excuse me? MR. LEEMAN (American accent): Yeah? What? ARTHUR: Er, may I inform yourself that MJN does run a fully comprehensive non-smoking service, and as such as a result of this, all cigarettes, cigars and cigarillos must be extinguished upon embarkation, and retained in a state of extinguishment until termination of disembarkation. Thank yourself for your co-operation. MR. LEEMAN: I’m not co-operating. ARTHUR: No, not yet, but I’m sure you’re going to in a minute, and then, thank you! MR. LEEMAN: Do you know how much I paid to be on this flight today? ARTHUR: I bet it was loads! MR. LEEMAN: Yeah, good guess. It was loads. It was so much that it seems to me that, uh … (he takes a drag on his cigarette) … I can pretty much smoke where I like, okay? ARTHUR: But … it … it’s very dangerous to smoke on an aeroplane. MR. LEEMAN: No it’s not. ARTHUR: … I don’t know what to say now. MR. LEEMAN: How old are you, sonny? ARTHUR: Twenty-eight and a half. MR. LEEMAN: Well, I was smoking on airplanes for twenty years before you were born. Why do you think the No Smoking signs go on and off? ARTHUR: Actually, ours don’t, mostly; although one of them flickers. And there’s one we can’t turn on at all because it makes the cabin smell of fish. MR. LEEMAN: Well, that sure gives me confidence. So, uh … (he takes another drag on his cigarette) … we’re all done here, right? ARTHUR: Yep! MR. LEEMAN: And I can smoke. ARTHUR: Er …

~*~*~*~

MARTIN: Shut up, Douglas! Now, Arthur, we’ve already had one fire scare on this trip. We can’t afford to take chances, and since we know that Mr. Leeman has been fully informed of the policy and therefore certainly won’t be smoking in the loo again … ARTHUR: Actually, I think he might. MARTIN: No, Arthur, he won’t. ARTHUR: Hmm. The thing is, though, Skip, with all due respect, but what I’ve got that you haven’t is that Mum sent me on a course on understanding people in Ipswich. MARTIN (slowly): And if I ever want the people of Ipswich understood, you’ll be the first person I call. Meanwhile … ARTHUR: Yeah, yeah, but it means I can now read people – you know, like a book. DOUGLAS: Have you ever read a book, Arthur? ARTHUR: Yes, actually!  White Fang. Twice. Anyway, bringing my people-reading skills to the table, I’m able to reveal to you now that Mr. Leeman didn’t show any of the five indicators of true resolve to change his behaviour patterns, and therefore, in a nutshell, I reckon he might smoke in the loo again.

1x03 – Cremona

ARTHUR: Might I ask yourself at this time if yourself would care to partake of the enjoyment of the in-flight entertainment system we do provide on the aircraft today? HESTER: What? ARTHUR: Shall I put the telly on?

 2x04 – Johannesburg

ARTHUR (into cabin address): Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, our onboard transit process today has now reached its ultimate termination. CAROLYN: He means we’ve landed. ARTHUR: Yes. So, as yourselves prepare for disemboarding, if I could kindly ask you to kindly ensure you retain all your personal items about your person throughout the duration of the disembarkation. CAROLYN: He means take your stuff with you. ARTHUR: In concluding, it’s been a privilege for ourselves to conduct yourselves through the in-flight experience today, and I do hope you’ll re-favour ourselves with the esteem of your forth-looking custom going forward. CAROLYN: … No idea.

 4x02 – Uskerty

ARTHUR: No, no. I just think it would look good. And then, Douglas, we should be saying things like, you know, “Hey, you guy. The dames, eh?” “Yeah, the dames. Stupid dames. You had any luck with the horses?” “No, the horses are all … idiots. You know, between the dames and the horses, sometimes I don’t even know why I put my hat on.” That’s how they talk in bars, isn’t it? DOUGLAS: … No, Arthur. That’s not how anyone talks, anywhere. ARTHUR: Oh, right. So … how-how do they …? I mean, I’ve never really been to a … What sort of things do they say?

DOUGLAS: I don’t know. You just ask about each other’s lives. ARTHUR: Oh, okay. Right. Er … So, do you miss your ex-wife? DOUGLAS: What?! ARTHUR: No! No! DOUGLAS: You don’t … not like that! ARTHUR: Sorry, sorry. DOUGLAS: You don’t talk about anything. You-you just … I dunno – you-you joke. You moan about sport; you-you tease each other. It’s terrific. ARTHUR: I don’t know about sport. Um, I could tease you, though. I’d like to be better at teasing. DOUGLAS: Well, you can’t just … ARTHUR: Honestly, Douglas, you silly great … man. Look at you with your hair all … straight. … It’s not easy, is it? DOUGLAS: Apparently not.

~*~*~*~

ARTHUR: I ju… I just don’t know the sort of things people say. DOUGLAS: Yes you do. You’ve heard me tease Martin hundreds of times. ARTHUR: Oh, right, okay. Er … I notice Sir isn’t terribly tall today. DOUGLAS: … Yes. That’s better. Of course, I am quite tall. ARTHUR: Oh, damn! It’s-it’s just really difficult with you. There’s-there’s nothing to make fun of. (Silence.) ARTHUR: What? DOUGLAS: I’m a fifty-seven year old first officer with three ex-wives and I’m drinking sodding pineapple juice. ARTHUR: I know. So? DOUGLAS: Nothing. You know, I think maybe you should give up on teasing. It’s not really your thing. ARTHUR: Okay. DOUGLAS: If it helps, you are excellent at being teased. ARTHUR: Oh, really? Am I? DOUGLAS: Oh, first rate! Second only to Martin. He’s the master. ARTHUR: Aww, thanks, Douglas! And-and maybe if I practise, I could get as good as him. DOUGLAS: As good as Martin? I’m afraid not. He always goes the extra mile. The man just phoned me from up a tree.

 Sensory

 1. Differences in sensory sensitivity (Arthur prefers certain sensory experiences as shown below)

 1x06 - Fitton

(When discussing whether it’s possible to be perfectly happy, Arthur provides sensory examples to prove that he’s often perfectly happy.)

ARTHUR: Like, for instance, when you get into a bath quickly and it’s just the right temperature, and you go … (blissfully) … “Ohhhh!”

~*~*~*~

ARTHUR: Like when you realise your knuckles are ready for cracking.

 2. Strong enjoyment, desire, or need for certain types of sensory input. Demonstrated by stimming (self-stimulation) behaviour.

1x06 – Fitton

ARTHUR: This – tossing an apple from hand to hand. It just feels really nice. I could do it for hours. Try it.

 Cognitive

1. Strength of focus and rigidity (Arthur will attach himself to certain topics and learn a lot about them in a short amount of time. He plays the game of “Yellow Car” every time he’s in a car and gets upset when the rules of the game are changed.)

A. Intense focus and interests

 1x03 – Cremona

Hester Macauley

ARTHUR (excitedly): Hester Macauley?! The Lady of the Lake?! In my cabin?!

ARTHUR (high-pitched with excitement): She was Griselda, the Lady of the Lake – in-in Quest for Camelot!

ARTHUR: Right. I see. Still, though, I just want to say, I am your biggest fan. HESTER: Oh really? ARTHUR: Absolutely!

 3x01 – Qikiqtarjuaq

Polar Bears/Bears (plus bonus Egypt!)

ARTHUR (almost bursting with excitement): What?! Are we?! Polar bears?! We’re gonna fly over polar bears?! And see them and look at them and be with the polar bears?!

CAROLYN: Oh, if you’re online, Douglas, look up ‘polar bears’ or ‘exploring’ or something. DOUGLAS: Why? CAROLYN: Because one of you will have to give a lecture on it. Unbeaten Track’s thing is that the crew are all experts on the region and they give lectures. ARTHUR: Can I give a lecture on polar bears? CAROLYN (instantly): No. DOUGLAS: What do you know about polar bears, Arthur? ARTHUR: Polar bears are … brilliant. DOUGLAS: You might want to pad that out with some PowerPoints.

ARTHUR: And this one’s a koala bear. Uh, that’s not actually a bear, in fact. This one is a panda bear.  That’s not actually a bear. Honestly, it’s like nothing’s actually a bear.           MRS COOK (Canadian accent): I’m sorry. I’m confused. Why are you showing me this? ARTHUR: It’s interesting about bears and things. Don’t worry: it’s all part of the service. It’s not extra. We’re all experts on stuff today, you see? I’m the expert on bears. And Egypt, actually. In Egypt, they used to pull your brains out through your nose with a hook. And that’s not even something in this book – that’s something I know!

ARTHUR: Hello. Uh, we didn’t meet properly. I’m Arthur. I’m the steward and bear expert. For instance, the sloth bear eats half its own body weight every month.

ARTHUR: Right, because I just know an awful lot about bears – at the moment. Uh, so if you ever need to, you know, borrow me, well you’d have to sort it out with Mum but I’m sure it’d be okay.

(Flight deck door bursts open.) ARTHUR: BEARS!! (Martin yells out in surprise.) ARTHUR: Bears, bears, bears! Polar bears! Look, on the ground!

CAROLYN: Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you for flying with Unbeaten Track. ARTHUR: Goodbye. A female bear is called a sow. CAROLYN: Goodbye, madam. Thank you for flying Unbeaten Track. ARTHUR: Goodbye. A grizzly bear can strip a deer’s carcass in six minutes. MRS COOK: I beg your pardon? CAROLYN: Farewell bear facts, madam, courtesy of Unbeaten Track.

 4x01 – Timbuktu

Timbuktu

ARTHUR: Oh, and I, er, I found that book you wanted, Douglas. DOUGLAS: What book? ARTHUR: About Timbuktu. DOUGLAS: Oh, right. Yes, well, you hang on to that for now. ARTHUR: Oh, okay. It’s about all of Africa really, but there’s a chapter on Mali and a page on Timbuktu. I’ve nearly finished it. MARTIN: The book? ARTHUR: The page. It sounds amazing. I can’t wait to see it!

ARTHUR: Don’t mention it. I read the whole page of that book. I’m basically an expert on Timbuktu now.

ARTHUR: Er, no, Douglas, you’re thinking of France. Mali was in the French Empire. DOUGLAS: No, Arthur … ARTHUR: Yeah, no, definitely. It was in my book.

ARTHUR: It’s just, my book was saying that most transport is still camels and donkeys, but I haven’t seen a camel all journey!

ARTHUR: Well, it is a bit surprising, Mum, because the book was saying the Sahara’s one of the flattest places in the world!

 B. Preference for routine and sameness (Arthur has a certain game he plays every time he’s in the car, and he gets upset if someone changes the rules.)

 The Official Rules for Yellow Car

3x04 – Ottery St. Mary

ARTHUR: Yellow car. DOUGLAS: What? ARTHUR: Nothing. Just “yellow car”. MARTIN: Why did you say “yellow car”? ARTHUR: There was a yellow car. MARTIN: But why did you say “yellow car”? ARTHUR: You’ve got to say “yellow car” when there’s a yellow car. MARTIN: Why? ARTHUR: That’s how you play Yellow Car. MARTIN: I’m not playing Yellow Car. ARTHUR: You’re always playing Yellow Car.

 4x01 – Timbuktu

ARTHUR: … Yellow car. MR. BIRLING: Can’t you do something to stop him saying that? CAROLYN: Trust me: there is no power on Earth.

 4x03 – Vaduz

MAXIMILIAN: Green truck. That counts double. ARTHUR (indignantly): What?! No, no, that’s not how you play! MAXIMILIAN: It is in Liechtenstein. ARTHUR: No it’s not! MAXIMILIAN: It is, because I’m the King of Liechtenstein and I say it is. A hundred points to me! ARTHUR (frantically): There aren’t any points!

 2. Difference in cognitive abilities (Arthur struggles with executive function and has been shown to have a slower processing speed. He needs multiple prompts to do things and struggles with multi-step directions.)

2x06 – Limerick

CAROLYN: Arthur. Arthur, it’s an intercom, not a chat line. You’re supposed to be putting the dinner on. ARTHUR: Oh, right. Sorry, Mum.

~*~*~*~

ARTHUR: Is it valuable? CAROLYN: No! Of course not(!) A client just chartered a plane and two pilots to fly a packet of crisps halfway round the world(!) Arthur … you remember when I told you to put the dinner on? ARTHUR: Yeah. CAROLYN: Did you, in fact, do that? ARTHUR: … No. No, now I think about it, I got mixed up and made coffee. CAROLYN: Then perhaps you could have another crack at it now. ARTHUR: Right-o! What are we having?

~*~*~*~

CAROLYN: Arthur.  Why is there a half-cooked Admiral’s pie congealing in the microwave? ARTHUR: Oh! I forgot about it. It was just having its little rest in the middle, because otherwise it goes all bubbly at the edges and you have to … CAROLYN: Yes, thank you, Heston Blumenthal. Just sort it out. ARTHUR: Right-o.

 3x04 – Ottery St. Mary

ARTHUR: Here we are, chaps … er, chap. Coffee for you, Douglas, and coffee for you … to maybe have a bit later on, Douglas. DOUGLAS: Did you by any chance forget Martin wasn’t flying today, Arthur? ARTHUR: No, I didn’t, actually. It’s just, I only know the amounts to make coffee for two people. DOUGLAS: You could just have made half what you usually make. ARTHUR: Well, I couldn’t because I’d only know what to make half of once I’d made it, and once I’d made it, I’d made it.

~*~*~*~

DOUGLAS: Give me strength. The address on the envelope you picked up from Martin’s pigeonhole at the airfield. ARTHUR: … Right. Now … I know how you’re going to be, but remember you also asked me to pick up the van keys. MARTIN: Arthur … ARTHUR: Half the job was picking up the van keys, and that part I did brilliantly!

3x05 – Rotterdam

DOUGLAS: It’s certainly biggest. All right, Arthur, in your own time. (Pause.) ARTHUR: Who’s saying ‘Action’? DOUGLAS: You can say ‘Action’. ARTHUR: Action! (Pause.) DOUGLAS (tiredly): And go.

 4x01 – Timbuktu 

MARTIN: Actually, we’re fine, Arthur. We-we’ll be landing in twenty minutes. ARTHUR: Oh, right-o. Oh, and a message from Mum. Er, she says how long until we land? DOUGLAS: … Right.

 3. Difference in thinking styles (Arthur thinks and learns in an atypical manner.)

 1x01 – Abu Dhabi

CAROLYN: What time is it? ARTHUR: Six fifteen … Oh, damn! CAROLYN: What? ARTHUR: I’m trying to train myself always to talk in twenty-four hour clock, like Martin, but I keep forgetting. CAROLYN: Well, what should you have said? ARTHUR: Well, six fifteen. But not the six fifteen I was thinking of. You see, I was thinking of the one there’s two of, but when you do it right, there should only be one, and what I was … CAROLYN (interrupting): Arthur, Arthur, Arthur, light of my life, do please shut up.

2x06 – Limerick 

If you want to listen to this one, click here

MARTIN: Arthur? ‘M’. ARTHUR: What? Ooh! Er, Mountain. Moccasin. Magma. CAROLYN: What’s this now? DOUGLAS: Arthur’s trying to learn the phonetic alphabet. He favours the spot-check method of revision. None of the above, Arthur, no.

ARTHUR: Er, Molecule. Mongoose. Mosquito! MARTIN: Shorter. ARTHUR: Mosque. CAROLYN: It’s a name. ARTHUR: Macnamara. Michinson. Moon! DOUGLAS: A first name. ARTHUR: Er, Martin, er, Maggie, Milly, Molly, Mandy, Matthew, Michael … CAROLYN: Nearly! Shorter. ARTHUR: Mickey! Mick! Mi! Muh! MARTIN: No, Arthur, the phonetic alphabet version of the letter ‘M’ is not ‘Muh’. It’s ‘Mike’! ARTHUR: Oh! I was close, then.

~*~*~*~

ARTHUR: Sorry. Mum, did you say one minute, three minute, one minute? CAROLYN: Oh, for goodness’ sake! No! Of course not! What cooks for one minute and stands for three? It’s three, one, three. ARTHUR: Oh, right. Okay, actually that’s easy to remember, because I’ll just think of 433 Squadron, only remember to swap the first two numbers and take three off the middle one! CAROLYN: Arthur, are you insane? That’s the stupidest way to remember anything I’ve ever heard! MARTIN: Also, it’s not 433 Squadron, it’s 633 Squadron. ARTHUR: Oh, yeah! Thanks, Skipper. So first, I’ve got to add two to the squadron I think it is to get the real squadron and then swap … CAROLYN: No! Don’t do any of that. Just remember it. Just use your brain and remember the three numbers. ARTHUR: Yes! Sorry. Three … three … CAROLYN: No! Oh, come with me.