#autistic problems

[themaskedlady]

[awetistic-things]

noise cancelling headphones aren’t enough i need everyone to die

[fandomcat2930]

being autistic is like using google translate for emotions. like, yeah, its right sometimes, but a lot of the time its a little bit off and sometimes its completely fucking wrong

[cryptcatz]

question: do ppl ACTUALLY say things they don’t mean when they’re angry? or is that just an excuse after letting something true slip? i wouldn’t ever say something i don’t mean in anger, so the concept confuses me.

but something was said to me that is bothering me, though apparently was said in an argument and wasn’t meant. but i don’t rlly believe it wasn’t like, deep down true thoughts/feelings??? anyone have any insight? anyone say things they don’t mean in anger?

EDIT: this was a hastily worded post that i didn’t expect to get notes. this is a genuine question asked in good faith that i got a lot of amazing answers to!

also re: the many ppl saying “OP is lying about not saying things they don’t mean in anger because everyone does it”— i genuinely have never done that. if i say something mean while angry, i meant it. that’s literally why i asked this question and why the concept confuses me, because i wouldn’t do something like that so i wanted perspective from people who do it. idk why y’all can’t believe that lmao not everyone is as prone to anger and outbursts

[autball]

A non-exhaustive list of the ways autistic people may show empathy even though we are assumed to not have it.

Are these exclusive to autistic people? No, not at all, we're just more often pathologized for them.

If I'm in a relationship with someone who does this, does that mean I just have to suck it up even if it doesn't work for me? No, it doesn't, but you do probably have some adjusting to do. You'll need to treat it as a mutual miscommunication instead of something it's all on the autistic (or ADHD, or whatever) person to fix. You'll have to change some of your expectations and get comfortable asking for (and explaining) the show of empathy you need - and you may even find out that the way you show empathy isn't working so great for them either. 😉

[Image description: AUTISTIC EMPATHY CAN LOOK LIKE… - Infographic by Autball.

White translucent boxes with black lettering inside on a magenta to purple diagonal gradient. The first four boxes read: (1) I’ve been through something similar, so maybe sharing my story will help; (2) Ooh, I know how to fix that! Maybe helping them solve their problem will make them feel better; (3) Oh man, now I have big feelings too! I just feel this so much!; (4) My favorite thing always calms me down, so maybe it’ll help them too. I’ll ask them to do it with me. These four are grouped together with a blue line and labeled: Misinterpreted as “Making it All About You.”

The next four boxes read: (5) I’m not sure how to help, so I’ll leave it to that person who looks like they do; (6) When I’m upset or overwhelmed, I prefer to be left alone, so I’ll bet they would like the same; (7) If I get involved, I’m gonna become overwhelmed myself, and that will take attention from them, so it’s best to just stay out of it; (8) I’m not sure how to help, and I usually make it worse when I try but get it wrong, so it’ll be better for everyone if I just do nothing. These four are grouped together with a blue line and labeled: Misinterpreted as Cold and Uncaring.

At the bottom is one last sentence, in white bold lettering, that reads, “Just because we don’t show it the same doesn’t mean we don’t feel it.”]

[theremina]

[galacticscrotum]

Neurotypicals all need to be reminded that if you made fun of someone in school for being “weird,” you were making fun of autistic people and that’s ableist and wrong. If you don’t educate yourself and change, you’re a bad person.

Things I saw kids get made fun of for:

Walking on their toes

Communicating directly

Not making eye contact

Making too much eye contact

Having special interests

Not having the right interests

Having few friends

Trying to make friends

Being “too” happy

Feeling overwhelmed

Being shy

Not talking much

Talking too much

Having fun being silly

Being serious

Doing well in class (nerd)

Doing poorly in class (stupid)

Any noticeable stims

The way we eat

A lot of other shit

Yeah, those kids were neurodivergent and you were an asshole to them. Do you see all the contradictions in that list? You never actually had a problem with anything we did or didn’t do. You had a problem with our existence. The way we talked, walked, breathed, you bullied us for it.

What’s even more disgusting and insane:

Lots of these kids chose to spend their elective periods with the special ed kids class. Lots of them grew up to be teachers, SpEd teachers, psychologists, etc. not because they want to help autistic people, but because they want to feel superior.

A big fuck you to all of the bullies and jerks that treated us like shit simply for being different from you.

I hope you’ve changed, but I know you probably haven’t. You’re doing the same shit, all that’s changed is you’re getting paid for it now. Go to hell. (A very particular section of hell where you’re marginalized for your neurotype and forced into ABA therapy and treated exactly how you treated us).

[ejbuckley]

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, being autistic is like playing a board game without knowing any of the rules.

[animentality]

[adhdxxsdiary]

[snail-is-wired]

growing up neurodivergent is just.

"why are you doing that. its weird"

"the way you laugh is weird."

"the way you dress is weird"

"why does your face look like that?"

"why aren't you happy with my gift"

"why don't you talk more"

"why do you talk so much"

"you're annoying"

and then as an adult:

"why are you always worried about what people think of you?"

[awetistic-things]

the pipeline of :

finding out you’re autistic —> becoming hyper aware of your autistic traits —> having imposter syndrome because you think the hyper awareness is actually just you faking it

[heartfairy]

[weirdplutoprince]

Autistic? Me? 18 - Do Things

[currently-getting-a-diagnosis]

Black Autistic Culture is people not believing you're autistic while also critiquing you on everything you said that was "disrespectful" and "rude" as well as telling you to learn how to talk right.

[autball]

A child is having outbursts at school, or at home, or wherever else, on a pretty regular basis. And at some point, someone suggests that they need to learn better coping skills.

They suggest therapy, or maybe there’s even a special program at school. Because yes, better coping skills/self-regulation skills/frustration tolerance really would solve everything, wouldn’t it?

Well those are fine skills to have, to be sure, but more often than not, it’s not what that child (or adult) needs most. What they really need is someone to figure out what’s stressing them out so much and then do something about THAT.

Because it’s not actually weird to be distressed over distressing things. Maybe *you* don’t understand what’s so distressing about school or the grocery store or that new person in the house, but that doesn’t mean *their* distress isn’t legit.

People reeaalllly like to suggest better coping skills for autistic, ADHD, and otherwise ND folks. (Since we already have a diagnosis, it’s that much easier to locate the problem in US.) And what they’re really saying with this an awful lot of the time is, “Can you please stop being so distressed by distressing things because it’s making a lot of work for us and we’re not about to change anything for you.”

So before you put someone in some sort of therapy that will teach them that they’re wrong to be upset about the things that upset them and how to get better at pretending to be okay, maybe consider that you might be expecting them to “cope” with more than they can reasonably be expected to.